Impact Wrestling – March 3, 2020: Something About The Show Being Ok

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 3, 2020
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

Things are moving around here as of late with Taya Valkyrie coming after Tessa Blanchard and the World Title. That’s a different way to go and I’m not sure how it is going to go. Other than that, we have the continuation of the bizarre feud between Su Yung and the forces of….the real world? Maybe? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a Nashville Strong graphic. That’s rather nice.

Opening recap, entirely on Taya vs. Tessa.

Opening sequence.

The North vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh

Non-title. Alexander and Bahh start things off but Page comes in as well, only to have Bahh clothesline both champs down. Page rocks Bahh with a right hand but he’s fine enough to slam Alexander anyway. A cheap shot from behind puts TJP in trouble though and Alexander rakes the eyes to really take over. Page runs him over again and goes to yell at Bahh, followed by the delayed vertical suplex, with the handoff.

We hit the double arm crank on TJP but he slips out and grabs a tornado DDT. That’s enough for the hot tag to Bahh and house is cleaned in a hurry. Alexander’s shots to the head have no effect but it’s quickly back to TJP, who kicks his way out of the corner. The North slams him out of the corner for two though as everything breaks down. Alexander can’t German suplex Bahh but Page can give him a springboard cutter. Not that it matters as TJP comes off the top with a sunset flip to pin Alexander at 9:13.

Rating: C+. The pace picked up near the end and it should set up a good title match at Rebellion. That being said, it’s still annoying to see the champs lose to set up a title match. Just have Bahh/TJP beat the Desi Hit Squad or name them as #1 contenders for winning the singles matches. Or have the champs lose because there’s almost no other way to set up title matches these days.

Tessa isn’t worried about facing Taya, because she’s a different woman from last year. Eddie Edwards comes in to say that it will be an honor to face her at Rebellion after he beats Michael Elgin next week.

Moose vs. Petey Williams

Moose misses a charge into the corner to start but he’s right back up with right hands to the head. The chokebomb out of the corner is countered into a hurricanrana but Williams runs into a pump kick as we take a break. Back with Williams hitting two suicide dives which don’t even knock Moose down.

The slingshot hurricanrana works a bit better, only to have Moose blast him off the apron for a big knockdown. Back in and Williams’ ribs are banged up but Moose calls him a clown to start the comeback. A flipping DDT drops Moose and a short Downward Spiral puts him down again. The Canadian Destroyer is countered and Moose plants him, setting up No Jackhammer Needed for the pin at 10:18.

Rating: C. Williams is fine for something like this, even though he still feels like the guy you have to include in a show like this even if you don’t want him. He’s been around on and off for the better part of twenty years now and to be fair, it’s not like he’s bad in the ring or anything. I just don’t think he means as much to most fans as Impact seems to think he does.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Amazing Red wins the X-Division Title in 2003.

Madison Rayne is coaching the new Knockouts but gets rid of some of them (though tells one to leave the dress because she wants to wear it). Kiera Hogan comes in to call her out for being ridiculous. One of the rookies gets in Kiera’s face, likely setting up something for later.

Acey Romero vs. Joey Ryan

Ryan pulls out the lollipop and then puts it back down his trunks. There’s no oil this time though and Romero runs him over for trying to get him to touch it. A dropkick puts Ryan down he gets in a shot to the head, making Acey fall face first onto, uh, it. Romero hurts himself on an atomic drop attempt but is fine enough to hit a crossbody. We go old school with a Ho Train to Ryan, who pops up and puts the lollipop into Ryan’s mouth. Acey bites it off but Ryan makes him touch it. For some reason Ryan won’t do the flip, allowing Acey to run him over and drop an elbow for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D. So that happened and now we seem to be moving towards Ryan as a heel. Normally I would say that it would be an improvement, but I’m not sure if that is going to be the case. If Ryan drops all of the sleaze, what exactly does he have left? Maybe he can surprise me, but I don’t have much of a reason to believe in him.

Glenn Gilbertti and Johnny Swinger take credit for selling the place out and tell Willie Mack to find a partner. He’ll fight them on his own.

Chris Bey is coming.

Ryan talks to Katie Forbes, who tells Rob Van Dam that Ryan gets it.

Jessika Havoc vs. Su Yung

No DQ and Su jumps her in the corner as Josh gets the fun task of trying to recap the story. Havok gets knocked to the floor for a Cannonball from the apron but Old School across the barricade is countered into a slam onto the ramp. The weapons are tossed inside and Yung gets dropped face first onto the steps. Back in and they have a chair duel, setting up stereo big boots to put both of them down.

Yung grabs the rope but Havok drives her into the corner to avoid the whole strangulation deal. A super Tombstone is broken up (because it’s a super Tombstone) and Yung puts a trashcan over Havok’s head. That means a missile dropkick to the can for two and Yung gets the noose. Havok isn’t having that again as she ties Yung to the rope, only to get misted. Yung slips out (Havok must never have been a Girl Scout) and ties the noose around Havok’s neck, setting up the Mandible Claw for the win at 9:27.

Rating: C-. It’s a hardcore/weapons match and that’s what these two should be doing. That’s all these people should be having at this point and it was a violent enough effort from both. The story is so wild and all over the place that it makes things fun to watch week to week. I’m not sure how big the blowoff is going to be, but the wackiness could be off the charts.

Post match the Undead Bridesmaids come out with a coffin but Havok fights out of it and gets away.

Rosemary says this was supposed to bring the Bunny back but it didn’t work. She should be happy but isn’t.

Johnny Swinger/Glenn Gilbertti vs. Deaners

Oh dang I had forgotten about the Deaners. Why do I have to remember them? The threat of Cody’s right hand sends Gilbertti running so it’s time to work on Swinger’s arm. What looks to be a roll of quarters goes into Cody’s throat and Swinger drops a headbutt to the lower abdomen. Gilbertti misses the YMCA elbow though and it’s Jake coming in to wreck things. The quarters are brought back in but Gilbertti hits Swinger by mistake, setting up a DDT to give Cody the pin at 4:55.

Rating: D+. That’s as good of a way to use Swinger and Gilbertti as you’re going to find. It’s a short match and they did the 80s tropes perfectly well before losing in the end. In a word, it’s harmless like this and as long as they don’t go too far with it or take them away from the low level comedy stuff, they’re a nice little addition to the show.

Realityislost/ICU video.

Video on Tenille Dashwood.

Gut Check video and apparently all of the contestants are terrible. One of them spat in the ring and then took a picture in front of the Impact logo to make himself look better. Scott D’Amore says he isn’t signing any of them. I know this is supposed to make us want to watch the series, but didn’t we just get the majority of the plot here?

We recap Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie. Taya beat Tessa for the Knockouts Title so now Taya wants a World Title shot.

Taya says Tessa’s dream is over and the bad guy wins. Eh chico?

Impact Wrestling World Title: Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie

Tessa is defending and Taya has John E. Bravo with her. They stare each other down to start until Tessa chops her into the corner. A discus forearm rocks Tessa but she’s back with a running knee between the shoulders. Bravo’s distraction lets Taya get in a cheap shot though and we take a break.

Back with Tessa getting kicked in the head in the corner, setting up the running knees for two. They head outside with Tessa posting her, followed by the suicide dive into the barricade. Back in and Tessa slips out of a piledriver attempt and grabs a cutter for the double knockdown.

Taya gets kicked down in the corner, setting up a Backstabber for two. Something like a Boss Man Slam gives Taya her own two but Tessa powerbombs her out of the corner. Road to Valhalla is broken up and Tessa hits a neckbreaker. Magnum misses and Bravo’s interference backfires, allowing Tessa to hurricanrana her into the corner. The Buzzsaw DDT retains Tessa’s title at 15:15.

Rating: B-. The ending wasn’t in doubt but they had a good, mostly serious match, which is what you need from something like this. There was a logical story to having the title match and it made sense for Taya to challenge for the title. Tessa getting another title win over someone as established as Taya is going to help without requiring reality to be stretched that far.

Overall Rating: C. This was an up and down show but the good things were good and the bad things, which were limited, were only so bad. You can see a lot of what’s coming at Rebellion and we could be in for a nice pay per view if they build it up well. That build is already in the planning stages and it should be started in full next week. Nice enough show here and a perfectly fine use of two hours.

Results

TJP/Fallah Bahh b. The North – Top rope sunset flip to Alexander

Moose b. Petey Williams – No Jackhammer Needed

Acey Romero b. Joey Ryan – Elbow drop

Su Yung b. Havok – Mandible Claw

Deaners b. Johnny Swinger/Glenn Gilbertti – DDT to Swinger

Tessa Blanchard b. Taya Valkyrie – Buzzsaw DDT

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