Smackdown – May 12, 2006: They Aren’t Helping Themselves

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2006
Location: ipayoneCenter, San Diego, California
Attendance: 11,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re on the way to Judgment Day and that means it’s going to be a bad night for Rey Mysterio. Last week he got destroyed by Mark Henry and tonight it’s probably going to be the Great Khali. But hey, at least he can beat JBL at the pay per view and that makes up for everything, right? Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Rey Mysterio becoming the underdog World Champion and getting destroyed by Mark Henry last week. Tonight it gets even worse with Great Khali.

Here’s John Bradshaw Layfield, who set up Mysterio’s battles with the giants, to get things going. He talks about how Rey is “a tough little Mexican fighter” and worries that Rey is going to take his innertube back to Mexico. The fans stop to chant for Eddie, who JBL agrees was great, but JBL was greater. Then he took the US Title from Chris Benoit and at Judgment Day he’s going to be the first ever double champion.

After that, he’ll offer Rey’s family a job. Dominik can shine his boots, Rey’s wife can do his dishes in a short little Latino dress, but Rey can sell drugs, get into prostitution or work a donkey show in Tijuana. Rey finally comes out to clear the ring in a hurry. JBL can say these things with some conviction, but dang the times have changed.

Super Crazy vs. Nunzio vs. Kid Kash

The winner gets Gregory Helms, on commentary, for the Cruiserweight Title at the pay per view. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being sent outside and Nunzio being backdropped out after him. Everyone gets back in for an exchange of rollups for two each until Kash’s clothesline gets two on Nunzio. Kash kicks Nunzio off the top and hits his moonsault for two more with Crazy making the save. Crazy covers both of them for a near fall each and Nunzio makes his own save. Nunzio loads Crazy up in a Doomsday Device but Crazy victory rolls him for the pin as Kash misses the high crossbody.

Rating: C. It was fine enough action but there was no hiding how unimportant everything they were doing was here. The Cruiserweight Title hasn’t meant anything in years and you can see how far it is falling almost every week. Points for trying to do something and having an action packed match, but this was the popcorn/nacho portion of the show.

The returning Kurt Angle storms into Teddy Long’s office to demand a match with Mark Henry. Long says no because Angle isn’t cleared so Angle grabs him by the jacket. The match is on for the pay per view.

Gymini vs. Mike Wellington/Joey Ryan

The Gymini are Jesse and Jake, while Ryan (yes that Ryan) has belt loops on his trunks. Jake powers Wellington to the apron to start and hits a clothesline back inside. Ryan comes in and gets kicked in the head, followed by a double shoulder for a bonus. Some elbows to the back of the head set up a chinlock, with Jesse pulling the hair. Wellington gets slammed onto Ryan and a double toss into the air for a big crash finishes Ryan without much effort.

Rating: D+. There is something rather cathartic about seeing Joey Ryan getting beaten up. Total destruction here of course as WWE has almost always known how to push two big monsters like this. I’m not sure how far they can go from here, but they can do this match well enough, especially given how short it was.

Various wrestlers like the See No Evil premiere, with Kurt Angle having to hide behind Viscera.

We look at Finlay beating Chris Benoit to make the semifinals of the King of the Ring.

Here are Booker T. and Sharmell for a chat. Booker is upset that Kurt Angle was thrown out of the tournament because he was looking forward to the match. He doesn’t want a forfeit so Angle can come out and face him right now (Angle was escorted from the building after talking to Long). Booker even gives him a ten count, with a pause for one last beg at nine, before declaring himself the winner. The celebration is on, complete with spinning Sharmell around and a Spinarooni.

King of the Ring Semifinals: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

They fight over a lockup to start with Lashley eventually powering him into the corner. Lashley takes him down with an explosive single leg but Finlay is back up with a clothesline. The chinlock goes on for a good while before Lashley is back up with a big boot. A gorilla press gutbuster has Finlay in trouble and a running clothesline in the corner rocks him again.

Some forearms gets Finlay out of trouble though and he chokes with the ring skirt. The chinlock goes on again and a pull of the trunks takes Lashley down again. Cue Booker and Sharmell, with the former sitting on the throne to see Lashley get his knees up to stop a splash. Lashley gets caught in the ring skirt for another beating though and we take a break.

Back with Finlay working on an arm, with an elbow into the shoulder for a bonus. A running shoulder gives Finlay two but Lashley gets fired up and snap off the overhead belly to belly. The running powerslam connects but Finlay blocks the spear with a boot. Finlay throws in the chair and grabs the Shillelagh, the latter of which is taken away. The referee is dumb enough to get rid of it, allowing Finlay to get in a chair shot. Lashley shrugs it off and hits the spear for the pin.

Rating: C+. The chinlocks took something out of this but they made Lashley look like a monster and that’s the important part. Lashley is showing some different offense out there most weeks and that’s an encouraging sign for someone who could do three moves and get by on his look alone. Finlay continues to be a nice gem and they worked well together.

Post match Lashley tells Booker to get out of his chair before he gets thrown out.

Here are MNM for a chat. Johnny Nitro says they’re the hot team and the sexiest champions of the century. They don’t like Paul London and Brian Kendrick getting in their way, which is why they got three straight Snapshots last week. After we see a clip from last week, Melina talks about how those punks are just trying to get a rub from the champs. Cue Jillian Hall, who talks about beating up Melina at the makeup table. Melina says Jillian looked better with the growth on her face. The fight is almost on but here are London and Kendrick to pants the champs. Hall rips off Melina’s skirt too and the good guys run.

Mark Henry vs. Paul Burchill

We get the debut of Henry’s signature song. Henry clotheslines him down and hits a kick in the ribs as this is feeling squashish. Burchill is tossed outside in a heap (with one hand) and Henry throws him back inside for a bonus. There’s the running splash in the corner and a second one against the post has Burchill pretty much done. Back in and Henry hits two more splashes, grabs the mic to say Kurt Angle is getting the same thing. The World’s Strongest Slam is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was little more than a way to keep Henry warm before his match with Angle. It was nothing we hadn’t seen before but there was only so much you can get out of this version of Henry. Also, so much for Burchill, but how long was a Pirates of the Caribbean tribute character going to last?

Tatanka is still becoming a Lakota warrior.

Big Vito says he and Nunzio are going out tonight. Nunzio needs to go get a shower but Orlando Jordan cuts him off, saying that he saw someone who looked a lot like Vito in drag in a club in London. Nunzio doesn’t buy it.

Judgment Day rundown.

Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Non-title, JBL is on commentary, and Cole keeps mentioning that Mysterio’s friends and family are here because it’s his hometown. Before Khali comes out, Rey dives onto JBL but here is Khali (with Daivari) to cut things off. Mysterio gets in Khali’s…uh, chest, and the EDDIE chants start up again. Khali throws him outside in a hurry and JBL turns up the trash talk to an eleven. Rey gets knocked off the apron again and a springboard dropkick hurts Mysterio more than Khali. Mysterio is thrown outside for a third time with JBL getting in a cheap shot. Back in and the double arm chokeslam finishes Rey in short order.

Rating: F. What do you even say here? This came off as more of Vince and WWE being annoyed at the fans for wanting something and punishing them for it after giving them what they asked for. They do this with so many of their titles and then wonder why it isn’t as important or why the fans are walking away. It made Mysterio, who could potentially draw some money, look like nothing and Khali isn’t likely to get a title shot anytime soon, but at least they advanced Mysterio vs. JBL, which I’m sure people will be flocking to pay for. I remember thinking this was stupid in 2006 and it is even worse now, which doesn’t surprise me.

Post match JBL gets in Rey’s face to talk about how he let everyone down. JBL has another opponent for next week. Tick tock. JBL shoves him to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that happened. This was not WWE’s finest hour as they don’t seem to have a clue about what they want to do here so the solution is to squash the World Champion on back to back weeks. It was a rough sit as this show doesn’t exactly have star power and they are going out of their way to damage the star power that they do have. Bad show here, and WWE isn’t helping itself.

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