Impact Wrestling – July 8, 2021: He Needs A Better Bat

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 8, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Lo Brown

We’re almost up to Slammiversary and that means it is time for the final push towards the show. The Elite got to stand tall at the end of last week’s show but they are going to have to get what is coming to them sooner rather than later. It wouldn’t surprise me to see them lose a bit of ground here, but you never can tell with them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Kenny Omega and Don Callis are here for the contract signing between Omega and Sami Callihan, who doesn’t have them worried.

Opening sequence.

Brian Myers vs. Jake Something

The loser has to admit the other is a professional and Sam Beale is here with Myers. Something slugs away to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Myers being sent face first into the steps. They head back inside where Myers is clotheslined straight back to the floor in a hurry.

This time Myers gets in a shot of his own, setting up a suplex onto the ramp. Josh: “Jake Something experiencing what it is like to get suplexed onto the ramp. You fans can experience what it is like to see Impact Wrestling live!” Points for a good transition. Beale gets in a cheap shot from the floor but Something is back with a powerbomb. Myers grabs a DDT for two and goes up top for the elbow and a rather near fall. The Roster Cut is countered into the swinging Black Hole Slam to give Something the fast win at 5:19.

Rating: C. Ignoring the stupid Something name, this could have been worse and the ending was clean. It had a personal story behind it and that is about all you can ask for in something like this. They only had about five minutes so they did what they could, which is a little bit more than I was expecting.

Post match Something tells Myers to say it but Myers stalls until Beale can get in a cheap shot. Matt Cardona comes in for the save, likely setting up the tag match.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Deonna Purrazzo is ready to keep the Knockouts Title without Kimber Lee and Susan. She is so confident that it’s open challenge time. I still need a moratorium on those things already.

Sami Callihan is ready for the contract signing when he is arrested for assaulting Don Callis. Sami: “I DID NOTHING THIS TIME!!!”

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. ???

Purrazzo is defending against….the debuting Lady Frost (Dave Penzer: “From somewhere cold!”). Purrazzo doesn’t seem overly intimidated and takes Frost into the corner to stomp away. A roundhouse kick takes Purrazzo down but Frost misses a moonsault, injuring her ankle in the process. With Frost down, the Fujiwara armbar makes her tap at 2:35.

Post match Purrazzo calls Frost another brick in the age of the Virtuosa. She is the greatest Knockouts Champion of all time but here is Gail Kim to interrupt. Kim is here to talk about Slammiversary but she is NOT challenging for the title. Instead, Kim and Scott D’Amore have found a challenger for the title at Slammiversary and Purrazzo isn’t finding out until the show. Be ready for the fight of your life.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Mickie James retains the Knockouts Title over Angelina Love at Slammiversary 2011.

Chris Sabin comes in to the empty Swinger’s Palace but Johnny Swinger isn’t there. Sabin asks one of the Swingerellas about her cat’s surgery but here’s Moose to jump both Sabin and Hernandez.

Chris Bey has made his decision about his side in the X-Division war, but he isn’t friends with anyone on his side.

W. Morrissey vs. Jason Page/Manny Smith/Deontay Evans

Before the match, Morrissey accepts Eddie Edwards’ challenge for Slammiversary and promises to demonstrate what is coming for him. Clotheslines and splashes set up a chokeslam and a powerbomb to put all three down at once. The release F5 lets Morrissey stack them up for the pin at 1:54. Well that was effective.

Video on the Knockouts division and how awesome the whole group is.

Don Callis is rather serious about the assault and isn’t taking this lightly. He even has footage of what happened and we see “Callihan” (mostly from behind and with his face covered) hitting him. Scott D’Amore says the contract signing is taking place tonight anyway.

Susan/Kimber Lee vs. Rosemary/Havok

Susan panics at having to start with Rosemary and it’s off to Havok for a double clothesline. Lee comes in and hammers away to no avail before being screamed down. Havok tosses Lee around with ease so Rosemary comes back in. This time Lee actually manages to do something of her own, with a series of kicks to the head. Susan and Lee start taking turns on Rosemary in the corner, which lasts all of ten seconds before she gets away for the tag off to Havok. Everything breaks down and Havok knocks Lee off the top to the floor. Rosemary spears Susan for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Remember when Susan was Su Yung, the indestructible monster of the division? Well now she’s losing in a mostly one sided tag match in about four minutes. At least they turned her into some kind of a joke with the pants suit, because that’s what you should do with someone as unique and talented as Yung. As usual, this company makes some really strange choices from time to time.

We go to the locker room for It’s All About Me, with Jazz (in a Shad Gaspard shirt) as this week’s guest. She gets to ask Tenille Dashwood a question, but Dashwood asks her about Rachael Ellering and Jordynne Grace’s instead. With that not working, Kaleb With A K asks what it means for Dashwood, who blames Jazz for everything falling apart. Dashwood thinks that sounds like Jazz’s career before backing away. Jazz gets shoved into the camera to wrap it up.

Post break, Grace and Ellering come in to check on Jazz. Revenge is sworn, with Ellering not being happy with Jazz being treated like this. Seems like a mixed tag is set for next week.

Here are Rich Swann and Willie Mack for a chat. Swann talks about how they like to fight straight up but Violent By Design jumped them last week. The challenge is sent out for the Tag Team Title shot but TJP and Fallah Bahh interrupt instead. The line starts behind them in the same promo you’ve heard a hundred times. Cue Violent By Design for the showdown but the Good Brothers come in as well, with both guys talking about how great they are in a southern preacher style. Cue Tommy Dreamer to announce a four way tag at Slammiversary. Great. Speaking of great, it’s time for a four way.

Deaner vs. Rich Swann vs. TJP vs. Karl Anderson

We start fast after with the partners on the floor and everyone else brawling inside. Swann and TJP are left alone in the ring and it’s time to start running the ropes in a hurry. TJP gets sent outside but Deaner is right there to jump Swann from behind. The chinlock goes on but here is TJP to kick Deaner down in the corner. Deaner reverses and hits a running dropkick to drive TJP’s neck into the corner for two. Back up and TJP sends Deaner and Anderson to the floor, only to be sent outside by Swann. That means a huge flip dive from Swann and we take a break.

Back with Swann running into Deaner’s knee to the ribs as Anderson gets back in. Deaner jumps him rather than agreeing to an alliance before Swann is back in. Everyone knocks each other down until TJP kicks Anderson into the corner for the boot wash. The Detonation Kick is blocked but so is the Gun Stun, leaving TJP to hit the Detonation Kick on Anderson. The Mamba Splash misses though and a Deaner DDT gets two on Swann. TJP is sent outside, leaving Anderson to Gun Stun Deaner for the pin at 13:21.

Rating: C+. The match was as energetic as you would have expected, despite one of the Good Brothers winning to make me roll my eyes. I’m not expecting them to get a title shot but there is always that chance. That alone should be a scary thought and I’m not sure what to expect at Slammiversary.

Post match the Good Brothers have their big staredown with Violent By Design, with everyone else getting involved.

Kimber Lee has a backup plan for Susan, revealing James Mitchell (yeah he’s great but HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS THING), who is going to help things out.

Slammiversary rundown.

Video on Kenny Omega vs. Sami Callihan.

Scott D’Amore is in the ring for the Omega vs. Callihan contract signing. Since there is no Callihan, here are Omega and Don Callis, with the latter bragging about Callihan not being around. D’Amore says they have nine days to get Callihan to sign so Omega signs. The lights go out though and we see footage of Callis being slapped by the fake Callihan and praising him for doing it well.

Cue the real Callihan with the baseball bat to Omega, who is back up nine seconds later for the brawl. Callihan plants him with the package piledriver and then signs the deal. Omega is put through the table to end the show. This was contract signing 101, but if Callihan can’t keep him down for ten seconds with a baseball bat, why bother with the match?

Overall Rating: C-. They did a few things that make me want to see Slammiversary more and that is what matters the most. The wrestling here wasn’t great but it also wasn’t the point of the show. What mattered here was making me want to see the pay per view and job well done enough. The show still isn’t great, but they have found their rhythm and seem to be sticking with it and that’s a good thing.

Results
Jake Something b. Brian Myers – Swinging Black Hole Slam
Deonna Purrazzo b. Lady Frost – Fujiwara armbar
W. Morrissey b. Jason Page/Manny Smith/Deontay Wilder – Triple pin
Rosemary/Havok b. Susan/Kimber Lee – Spear to Susan
Karl Anderson b. Rich Swann, Deaner and TJP – Gun Stun to Deaner

 

 

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