Kansas Wrestling Revolution Episode One: The New All Time Low
Kansas Wrestling Revolution Episode One
Date: March 1, 2020
Location: Hoisington City Auditorium, Hoisington, Kansas
Commentator: Pat Stratham
This is something that caught my eye as I went through the IndependentWrestling.TV options as who doesn’t love some wrestling from Kansas? Granted one of the best indy shows I’ve ever seen was Championship Wrestling From Arizona so maybe they’re on to something here. Let’s get to it.
Since this is the first episode, I doubt this will matter, but I know nothing of characters or storylines coming in.
Opening video. One of the wrestlers is carrying what looks like a Money in the Bank briefcase so my worries are already going up.
Danimal vs. Explosivo
Commentary puts over Danimal as a legnd as he grabs an armbar into an armbar to start. Back up and Explosivo chops away in the corner, only to get reversed for chops from Danimal. A running powerslam gives Danimal the pin at 1:42. Well that was quick.
We flash back to February 27, 2019, where someone is in a library. He calls someone (so rude) and tells them to be somewhere at a specific time.
We cut to someone walking and looking at their phone. They go up an alley, where someone else jumps them with a baseball bat. The guy with the bat drops it, and a car pulls up to take him away.
Now we’re in the locker room where a guy in sunglasses (maybe the one from the library but it’s not clear) isn’t happy with having to face Jimmy Armstrong (finally, a name) at Midwest Mania on April 26. It’s a street fight and…that’s it.
Joey Ryan is….I guess coming? Already here? Maybe he left? This show is really bad at explaining things. Apparently he’s the heavyweight champion and he’s back at Midwest Mania II.
Video on a masked guy fighting someone in a singlet, with the referee getting in a superkick.
We aren’t even ten minutes into this show and I have absolutely no idea what is going on.
The highlight continues, including Greg Valentine, a guy in pizza trunks, a man in a shark mask, and a woman with a whip. This video has been going for a few minutes now and it ends with an ad for WrestleVersary. How many big shows are they building towards?
The feed is hacked by some evil sounding voice talking about how the world is run by chaos. We see some clips of a monster with facepaint and a horned sheep mask. He’s debuting in the TV Title tournament. His name: the Black Sheep, Dave Turner.
Paul PuertoRico, with his Puerto Rico themed title, is ready to face Steve Cruze, as the stars have told him to do.
Ad for Mid West Mania II, again featuring Joey Ryan. They’re all in on this guy. Sure hope nothing derails his career and takes away their biggest star.
Paul PuertoRico vs. Steven Cruze
Cruze circles the ring on the floor before the bell as the stalling is on. He finally gets in for the bell but now PuertoRico hides in the corner. A missed charge lets PuertoRico get to the apron but Cruze catches him on top for a slam back down. Cruze hits an elbow to cut PuertoRico down again and there’s a slam to make it worse. The taunting is on, with Cruze standing on PuertoRico’s hand for a bonus.
They head outside for some shots to keep PuertoRico rocked but he’s back in with a running crotch attack to the back of the head (which commentary calls a bulldog). Back in and a missile dropkick drops Cruze but he grabs a suplex to cut that off. Cruze pulls him up at two then hits another suplex, setting up a sleeper for the win at 7:40.
Rating: D. Well that was bad. I’m still not sure why these people are fighting or what their issue was in the first place, but wrestling has been built on less before. The problem is that you need something to draw in interest and that was sorely missing here. Pretty awful match, as Cruze more or less squashed him for a long time.
Post match Danimal and Lunatic Lenny come in to save PuertoRico from….well nothing actually as Cruze let him go but you need something to end the show.
A preview for next week wraps us up.
Overall Rating: F. I have watched a lot of wrestling in my day and I have almost no idea what happened here. I’ve seen shows in languages I don’t understand that made a heck of a lot more sense than this and that isn’t a good sign. There might have been something else before this, but when you have episode ONE as your title, you might want to bother explaining ANYTHING to your audience. This was terrible and probably the new low for a debut episode of any wrestling show.
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