Impact Wrestling – April 11, 2024: Big Guys Fighting
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 11, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan
There have been some rather good wrestling matches around here lately and that has been great to see. This time around isn’t going to have anything to do with that, as the main event is a Monster’s Ball match between PCO and Kon. That should be enough to carry things but we also have just over a week before Rebellion. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We are joined in the arena with Hammerstone brawling with Josh Alexander. Security tries to break it up but Alexander hits the big flip dive onto everyone. Cue Tommy Dreamer to be the voice of reason and he actually manages to get the bleeding Alexander to leave. Dreamer gets in the ring and talks to Hammerstone about how Alexander is the face of this company.
Dreamer is the reason Hammerstone is here and now Hammerstone is taking a shortcut. Hammerstone doesn’t need to go down that path because his legacy is not set yet. The fans chant ECW at Dreamer because it’s his legacy, so go have the best match at Rebellion and tell everyone to top that. Dreamer tells the fans that this will be a great show and goes to leave, only to be jumped by Hammerstone. Alexander runs back in for the save before saying the match at Rebellion will be Last Man Standing. Good way to go, as seeing Dreamer in pain is always fun.
Opening sequence.
We run down the card.
Digital Media Title: Laredo Kid vs. Crazzy Steve
Steve is defending and goes right for the mask. Kid lunges at him and Steve knocks him into the corner to take over. A springboard something is broken up, with Steve nailing a clothesline to the back of the head. The neck crank goes on, with Steve switching it into something like an Octopus hold on the mat. Kid fights up and knocks him into the corner to start the comeback, setting up a pair of moonsaults. The top rope version is broken up and Steve pulls him down to start with the stomping. Steve goes for the mask again so Kid jumps him. The referee tries to break it up and gets shoved down, with Kid getting DQ’d at 8:34.
Rating: C. I continue to be confused by Laredo Kid, who feels like he should be a big star but he never actually wins anything. That was the case again here, but odds are we are going to be seeing this match again. At some point Kid needs to win a title of some kind and he seems to be potentially having another chance soon.
Alex Shelley apologizes to Chris Sabin and Kushida, who seem cool with things.
ABC vs. First Class
Austin grabs a headlock on Francis to start and is powered into the corner for his efforts. Swann comes in but Austin trips him down for a kick to the back. It’s off to Bey for a double dropkick but Francis gets in a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with Austin still in trouble as everything breaks down. Francis hits his world’s strongest slam/fireman’s carry drop on both of the ABC (that’s nuts) to take over. We settle down to a double kick to Swann, followed by a big flip dive to Francis on the floor. The 1-2-Sweet is broken up though and Swann grabs a rollup with tights for the pin at 11:02.
Rating: C+. ABC is a team who can work well with anyone but it was cool to see Swann and Francis working well together. Francis might not be the biggest star in the world but he is getting somewhere with this new stuff. The power/speed team works for First Class and they can be annoying enough to back it up. Not bad, assuming they can keep it going.
Post match here is Joe Hendry to explain the problem with First Class. This results in a slightly changed version of the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air theme, including Francis being called a fat Uncle Phil. At Rebellion, it’s Hendry vs. Swann.
Ash By Elegance and her handler think Ash should get the Knockouts Title shot at Rebellion because Steph de Lander was filling in for her. No.
Mustafa Ali complains to the Grizzled Young Veterans about Jake Something getting an X-Division Title shot. Something comes in to say the match is happening.
It’s time for the contract signing between Jordynne Grace and Steph de Lander, with Santino Marella running things. Cue de Lander, with Matt “Qdoba” and Grace, with Cardona hyping de Lander up. De Lander signs but Grace says she’s not laying down that easily. Grace lists off her resume, with Cardona bringing up that he beat her for the Digital Media Title. Grace asks if de Lander is going to say anything or just let Cardona talk for her.
De Lander says her resume is too long to list and thinks Grace is too focused on other things. Like the Royal Rumble! With that odd reference to a one off match two and a half months ago, Grace talks about how she’s beaten Cardona, de Lander and Cardona’s wife. Grace: “I’m the juggernaut b****.” Cardona: “DON’T YOU TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!” Grace: “I wasn’t talking to her, b****.” With that, Grace signs and the brawl is on, with Cardona getting in a cheap shot. De Lander chokeslams Grace through the table. Of all the contract signings I’ve seen in wrestling, this was the most recent.
The System interrupts Masha Slamovich and ask her about teaming with Alicia Edwards again. Masha answers in Russian and no one knows what that means.
Jonathan Gresham is still in group therapy and talks about wearing three different masks. One of them is never seen, with the group leader saying that’s the truest reflection of who he is. We see the octopus mask, with a voice talking about seeing a tree and being told to cut it down.
Moose vs. Trent Seven
Non-title and the System is here with Moose, while Mike bailey is here to counter them. Seven fires off chops in the corner to start and is promptly release Rock Bottomed down. Some hard whips into the corner have Seven in more trouble but he chops his way to freedom. A DDT plants Moose again and Bailey cuts off Eddie Edwards’ interference. Bop and Bang puts Moose down but he escapes the Birminghammer. The spear finishes Seven at 3:55.
Rating: C+. They kept this moving and that’s what it should have been. Moose is on his way to a huge title match next week and there is no reason to have him get into a long match here against Seven. It was far from a squash and they did a nice job of making Seven look good in short order.
Post match the beatdown is on but Time Machine makes the save.
Post break the System yells at Santino Marella, who makes the System vs. the Motor City Machine Guns for the Tag Team Titles next week. The winners of that face Speedball Mountain at Rebellion. With all of those people gone, Decay comes in to say they want their rematch for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles at Rebellion. Works as well.
Jake Something vs. James Drake
Zack Gibson is here too. Something powers Drake into the corner to start but Gibson gets in a cheap shot to take over. The chinlock goes on but Something fights up with a hard forearm. Gibson offers another distraction though, allowing Drake to hit a running dropkick in the corner. Cue Deaner to cut off Gibson so Something can hit Into The Void for the pin at 3:52.
Rating: C. They didn’t have much time here but Something setting the win on the way to the title match is what matters most. At the same time they kept Deaner vs. the Grizzled Young Veterans going, though I’m not sure where they’re heading with that. Not a great match here, but an efficient one.
Post match Mustafa Ali comes out to rant about how the X-Division need limits and Something defies those limits. Something goes after him but the Grizzled Young Veterans make the save. Deaner’s save attempt is broken up as well and the villains stand tall.
Kon vs. PCO
Monster’s Ball, meaning street fight/anything goes. PCO grabs the kendo stick so Kon uses a chair as a shield in a smart move. With Kon sent outside, PCO loads up a dive but gets knocked out of the air with a trashcan. We take a break and come back with PCO in a trashcan so Kon can beat on him with a chain. A table is set up at ringside but PCO fights back and puts Kon on it, setting up the big flip dive from the top.
Back in and Kon gets in some more shots but goes up top, allowing PCO to knock him through another table at ringside. That’s not enough to keep Kon down either, as he gets up and sends PCO face first into a bridged ladder. An Iconoclasm sends PCO through the ladder and now it’s time for thumbtacks. Kon puts the tacks into PCO’s mouth, which just wakes him up for a chokeslam onto the tacks. The PCOsault onto Kon onto the tacks finishes for PCO at 14:15.
Rating: B-. Sometimes you need to have two people beat the fire out of each other to blow off a feud and that is what they did here. It was a good way to wreck Kon for good, though he’ll be fine in a bodyguard role sooner than later. Good main event here as it felt like a clash of the titans, though PCO needs to do something fresh rather soon.
Overall Rating: C+. Good enough show here with the main event being the highlight. It was a show that added a few things to Rebellion while also cranking up some of the matches that were already made for the pay per view. In other words it was another efficient Impact, which is where they tend to shine.
Results
Crazzy Steve b. Laredo Kid via DQ when Kid shoved the referee
First Class b. ABC – Rollup with tights to Bey
Moose b. Trent Seven – Spear
PCO b. Kon – PCOsault
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