Crunch Classic (2026 Edition): Piper Can’t Save Everything
Crunch Classic
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney
Host: Roddy Piper
It’s a Coliseum Video and I’m curious to see what it includes. These things can go all over the place and that’s what makes them so much fun. Hopefully they focus on some of the more talented stars, as you can get some great matches, but you can also get some of the weirdest choices you’ll ever see. I’m not sure what to expect here and that makes it fun so let’s get to it.
This seems to be from 1992.
Host Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and goes over some of his most famous moments (Cyndi Lauper, Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka), but he never won a title…until he met the Mountie.
From the 1992 Royal Rumble.
Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie
The Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, is defending after winning the title from Bret Hart a few days earlier. Piper throws a jacket over Mountie’s face to start and hammers away, with Mountie bailing out to the floor. Back in and Mountie chokes on the rope but tries a monkey flip, only to get punched in the head.
A bulldog out of the corner drops Mountie as the fans are going nuts here as they realize Piper has a real chance. Mountie sends him into the corner to take over and the jumping elbow connects for two. Piper pops back up and hammers away, followed by a backdrop to send Mountie flying. The atomic drop sends Mountie over the top but he skins the cat, only to be sent into an interfering Hart. The sleeper gives Piper the title at 5:21.
Rating: C+. This was a case where it was all about the moment, as the Mountie was never going to be a major threat to beating Piper. The fans were with this the entire way and it was awesome to see Piper FINALLY get a title. No it wasn’t much of a match, but it doesn’t need to be but the point was the big moment and it more than worked.
Post match Piper gives Mountie the shock stick and gets the big AND NEW moment to an eruption. You can tell the fans are behind this and that’s awesome to see.
Piper loved that moment and it was the best day of his life….except maybe today.
From Dayton Ohio, October 22, 1991.
Money Inc. vs. Virgil/Big Boss Man
IRS and DiBiase get separate entrances (with Sensational Sherri coming to the ring with DiBiase) but Mooney calls the Money Inc. Virgil is the Million Dollar Champion. Boss Man shoves IRS around to start and Sherri is ticked off as Virgil and DiBiase come in. DiBiase doesn’t like the threat of fisticuffs and IRS offers a distraction to draw in the Boss Man
That’s enough for some evil double teaming and Virgil is in trouble (some things never change). DiBiase gets two off a suplex and IRS’ legdrop gets the same. Virgil fights up with a shot of his own and it’s back to Boss Man to hit a splash. It’s already back to Virgil for a top rope ax handle as everything breaks down. Sherri tries a shoe shot but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.
Rating: C. It’s a perfectly decent tag match, though it also felt like it was something that belonged on a tape like this. Money Inc. would obviously get a lot better and were still figuring things out. Oddly the lack of Sherri helped them, as she didn’t really fit in here and would be much better off when she switched to Shawn Michaels not long after this.
Post match IRS yells at Sherri, who has to calm things down before DiBiase and IRS come to blows.
We get a day in the life of Jimmy Hart. He arrives in a rental car because the airline screwed up his limo. He goes into his hotel in Indianapolis and has to check all of his guys in. Most of his wrestlers have already arrived but his room won’t be ready for three hours. There is however a room ready in the basement, which he’ll take over nothing. We go to said basement, where Mountie needs help getting his shock stick working. IRS has also called, saying his plane was late and Mountie needs to just trust him.
Later, Money Inc. interrupt Hart when he is on the phone and ask about IRS’ briefcase. Hart gives him his newly initialed Tag Team Title and everyone is happy. After Hart asks someone about the Arsenio Hall Show and a movie, we cut to Hart asleep in his hotel room. The phone rings (Hart picks up a banana by mistake) and apparently DiBiase’s belt isn’t ready yet. And apparently the Nasty Boys have done…something.
Later, the Nasty Boys are warming up in the bathroom when Hart comes in, saying the bell rang and they need to go to the ring. Again later, Hart FINALLY goes to his hotel room while talking about how hard it is to manage this many wrestlers. And then his room key doesn’t work. I liked this, as it wasn’t exactly funny, but it was the kind of behind the scenes stuff you don’t often get. Of course managers have been a thing forever in wrestling and it’s kind of interesting to see what they do outside of the ring. It’s not some brilliant idea or classic moment, but it was nice for a five minute segment that went in a unique direction.
From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.
Nasty Boys vs. New Foundation
Jimmy Hart is here with the Boys and gets chased off by Neidhart to start. Knobbs knocks him into the corner but Neidhart isn’t having that and sends both Boys outside. Hart hits a heck of a dive and moonsaults back inside as the Boys need a breather. Knobbs comes back inside and gets his arm cranked but goes to the eyes. Sags comes in and gets armbarred as well, with Hart driving a knee into the arm.
Neidhart gets to stay on the arm before handing it right back to Hart, who gets choked on the ropes for a change. Sags’ chinlock with a knee in the back doesn’t really do much good so Knobbs drops some elbows to keep Hart down. The reverse chinlock does on but Hart is right back up to slingshot Neidhart in with a double shoulder. Neidhart shoulders Knobbs for two but Sags throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:28.
Rating: C. There were some nice moments in there but you could only get so much out of a match with so many chinlocks in not very much time. That’s where a lot of these matches tend to go and to be fair, it’s better to have the Nastys keeping it basic here if they can’t do a brawl. The New Foundation is a better team than they get credit for, as they’re always going to be compared to the original Harts, which just isn’t fair. They were good at their own style though, even with those amazing pants.
Roddy Piper talks about beating Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III in front of 92,000 fans, with Jimmy Hart getting beaten up there too. And let’s look at the match!
From Wrestlemania III.
Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis
Hair vs. hair. This is weird as Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes have redone the commentary, which just sounds so wrong after seeing Wrestlemania so many times. They go straight to the fight and Piper pulls out a belt to unload on Adonis. Hart tries to come in and gets sent into Adonis, allowing Piper to hammer away in the corner. Hart’s cheap shot from the floor takes Piper out though and Adonis hits a big clothesline.
Piper gets knocked outside and even Hart gets in a cheap shot. Back in and Piper tells him to bring it so Adonis slugs away, followed by the sleeper. Piper sends him into the corner but can’t escape and goes down, meaning it’s two arm drops…and Adonis lets go before the third, meaning Piper is still in it. Hart gets inside to celebrate but Piper is back up and avoids a big swing of the hedge clippers, which hit Adonis in his own face. Piper’s sleeper gets the win at 6:34.
Rating: B-. It’s always fun to see this match, but dang it makes me want to watch the original as the lack of Jesse Ventura takes something away. I do like that they threw in a classic match here, as it’s certainly more memorable than having the same midcard stuff that regularly populates these things. This was a nice flashback and ties in well with the Piper theme of the tape, but it does kind of make the rest of the lame stuff stand out.
Post match Brutus Beefcake comes in to give Adonis the haircut, with Piper loving the whole thing.
From Dayton, Ohio, October 23, 1991.
Undertaker vs. British Bulldog
This is a Fan Favorite request and Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. Bulldog gets knocked into the corner to start, with Bulldog doing the slow look at him. Back up and a clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor, though of course he sticks the landing. A Stunner over the top rope drops Bulldog and Undertaker chokes away back inside.
Bulldog is knocked outside again but is quickly back inside to avoid an elbow. Undertaker goes with that annoying smother thing he did at this point and then falls on Bulldog to counter a slam attempt. The delayed vertical suplex (ok that’s not bad) connects, as does the powerslam, which draws Bearer up for the distraction. Undertaker gets in an urn shot for the pin at 7:10.
Rating: C. This is a match that could have worked a lot better with some more time and a bit less of the smother hold. Bulldog could make a heck of a comeback if he was given the chance but Undertaker hadn’t figured out a lot of his stuff just yet. The match was picking up near the end and that suplex was rather impressive.
Post match Bulldog clotheslines him outside for daring to try the body bag.
From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.
Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel
This would have been a way different match about five years earlier. Martel poses to start and then hides behind the referee. The kick to the ribs is cut off though and Tornado sends him straight into the corner. A running clothesline sends Martel outside and Tornado rams the arm into the post. Back in and Tornado starts cranking on the arm but misses a charge to post his own shoulder. Martel goes up and dives right into the Claw, which is broken up in the ropes. That’s enough for Martel, who sprays Arrogance in Tornado’s eyes for the DQ at 6:00.
Rating: D+. The Tornado just did not have it anymore at this point and that was becoming more and more obvious every time he was in the ring. Martel is an incredibly talented star but there is only so much he can do when Tornado was basically sleep walking through the whole thing. It’s kind of amazing that Tornado lasted so long, because this wasn’t working in the slightest and pretty much never did after his initial appearances.
Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes so let’s go to Jake Roberts, who thinks snakes should be your pets. They’ll eat anything and you don’t have to feed them every day. We look at the famous cobra biting Randy Savage segment before Roberts shows us a bunch of snakes. And that’s it.
From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.
Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart
Neidhart chases him up the aisle to start and they go back inside for a hearty shove. Skinner is right back with a running shoulder and a hiptoss before they’re back up for a standoff. A headlock works a bit better, only for Neidhart to send him crashing out to the floor again. That works so well that Neidhart does it again with a clothesline, meaning it’s time for the long for stalling.
Back in and Neidhart gets his own headlock, which does on for a little while until Skinner heads outside again. This time Skinner finds his alligator claw to hit Neidhart in the throat, setting up a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up so Skinner…grabs the same thing again. Neidhart fights up again and hits a flying shoulder, followed by some rams into the turnbuckle. They brawl out to the floor and that’s a time limit draw at 13:20. No time is given but just be grateful for what you get.
Rating: D+. They were making it pretty clear that it was there to get to the time limit and nothing else, which is something that makes sense in some matches. This however, was Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart and not one of those matches. Skinner wasn’t a big star but he would get the occasional Intercontinental Title shot, so you would think he could go over a tag guy like Neidhart in a singles match, but why do that when you can have a bizarre time limit instead?
From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.
Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter vs. Natural Disasters
Jimmy Hart is here with the Disasters. Duggan and Typhoon start things off with Typhoon shoving him away. Three straight clotheslines put Typhoon down and it’s off to Slaughter, who actually backs him into the corner. It’s already back to Duggan, with Earthquake grabbing him from the apron so Typhoon can take over. Earthquake drives Duggan into the corner and drops the jumping elbow for two.
Typhoon chokes on the ropes and grabs a bearhug, followed by Earthquake’s backbreaker. Earthquake gets his own bearhug and then Typhoon comes back in…for a third bearhug. Since that has to be broken up rather quickly, Earthquake misses a charge into the corner and it’s Slaughter coming back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and a double splash in the corner crushes Slaughter. Earthquake brings in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4 and wrecks everyone for the DQ at 9:20.
Rating: D. You really shouldn’t be getting to a third bearhug in a match that doesn’t even make it to ten minutes (or most matches for that matter). That’s on top of a lame DQ ending, as again, neither Duggan nor Slaughter could take a pin from a pair of monsters. It’s another bad match to end the tape on a rough note, making me question the “classic” moniker.
Piper wraps us up and a Piper montage ends things.
Overall Rating: D+. This started off ok and then fell apart fast. It’s a bad sign when you have to go back to the previous decade to get what is probably the best thing on the whole tape. The matches were just kind of dull and the last few were pretty terrible. Piper is fun due to energy and charisma alone, but he can only do so much, even when he’s the biggest name on the whole thing. Find something else. Like Wrestlemania III. Or the 1992 Royal Rumble.
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