Russell Crowe Wrestling: RussellMania 3
Date: March 30, 2023
Location: Burbank Moose Lodge, Burbank, California
Commentators: Erik Barnes, Rivers Langley

So this is Wrestling Pro Wrestling, a comedy promotion run by Brian Kendrick. The event was held over Wrestlemania weekend and then released on Youtube, though I have a grand total of no idea what to expect here. With wrestlers named Poptart Boy and Leather Daddy, I’m almost scared to know what I’m getting myself into. Let’s get to it.

Opening video, which features a bunch of stills and has quite the early 80s feeling.

Erik Barnes welcomes us to the show and makes it clear that Russell Crowe will NOT be wrestling and describes this as a wacky wrestling promotion. The Midcard Title (which sounds like the official name) and the Wrestle Turkey Title will be on the line tonight, but first, here is Cereal Man (a superhero with a box of cereal for a mask). He can’t find promoter Gary Tickles, who has left a note: “see you next show suckers, no refunds.”

There is an idea though, so here is Darwin Finch, apparently a scientist, who has invented a cloning machine. His goons have stolen some celebrity DNA, so here are clones of Tom Cruise, Gary Busey and Sean (normally spelled Shaun) White. Cereal Man says these clones suck, but apparently they are clones of celebrity impersonators on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (ah, the common problem). We’ll try one more so here is Chuck Norris….as portrayed by Jimmy Wang Yang. That’s enough for Cereal Man, who throws everyone out. Cereal Man: “You guys want to see a chicken wrestle a bear?”

Chick-A-Dee vs. Evgheni

Dee is a woman in a chicken costume (Commentary: “This pollo is loco!” Should be loca but whatever.) and Evgheni is a Russian bear. The Bear hibernates to start so Chick pokes him, only for the Bear to go back to sleep. Back up and a bear claw shove gets two on Chick but the referee faints after a well places growl. The Bear bites Chick’s face and then….decides to go to the bar, meaning it’s a countout at 4:09.

Rating: C. Yeah we’re going to be in for a weird show here and it should be a lot of fun as a result. I’m not sure I got the joke here but at least they are living up to the kind of show that they want to be. Also, thankfully they kept this short instead of driving the joke into the ground like so many would.

Anthony Andrews vs. Koto Hiro

Andrews is a cowboy and one half of the NWA US Tag Team Champions. Hiro on the other hand is your stereotypical Japanese masked man. They go for the grappling to start with the much smaller Hiro not being able to get very far. Hiro kicking him in the head works better though and a rolling cutter gets two.

Andrews knocks him outside and hammers away on the floor. Back in and Hiro snapmares him down into a jumping knee to the face but Andrews plants him with a Rock Bottom. A middle rope Codebreaker gets two but Hiro is back with a springboard spinning Codebreaker. That sets up a missed frog splash though and Andrews grabs a pumphandle powerslam for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. Actually not too bad here, which mainly focused on a power vs. speed match. Andrews isn’t a hue guy but he’s big enough to outmatch someone like Hiro. Other than that, Hiro kept things moving enough and sold the big power stuff well enough. Not a great match, but it was close enough to being serious to make it work.

Respect is shown post match.

Fourmage Horsemen vs. Stoner Brothers/El Chupacabra/Anton Voorhees

Oh boy. This is WPW vs. Hoodslam, because that’s a good idea. So the Horsemen are Gorgonzole Anderson/Parm Anderson/Ricotta Flair/Tully Blancheddar, while the Stoners are Rick Scott and Scott Rick (not typos), complete with a STONERIZED theme. And yes, the Horsemen all have heads made of cheese. Before the match, Flair makes fun of the other four, including saying the Stoners are more like the Groaner Mothers. Anton and Tully start things off, with Tully going rather basic (“This is an aged cheddar after all.”) but Anton comes back with an enziguri.

Tully gets quadruple teamed in the corner so it’s off to Parm vs. Chupacabra, with the former being knocked into the corner. Rick Scott adds a superkick but Gorgonzole comes in for a wristlock. A series of shots in the corner put Gorgonzole down but he gets over to Flair for the rapid fire chops. Not that they matter as Flair is knocked down and picked up/dropped back by all four for a quadruple pin at 5:05.

Rating: C. Yeah I laughed and that’s the point of something like this. It’s a big choke with cheese puns and I don’t think they were trying to do anything else. Let them get in there, do their jokes and get out before it goes too long. If nothing else, points for being able to come up with a gag for the entire Horsemen, including that aged cheddar line.

A clone of David Copperfield (magician, not Dickens) and here is brings a fan into the ring for a card trick. Before he can complete it though, the Great Branzino, with his Goblins (Dingleberry and Grundell) interrupts. Branzino is about three and a half feet tall and says we’re not here for magic or over the top characters. No one wants to see that fool Luigi Primo! Cue Primo (the guy who can spin a pizza while doing really basic moves), with Branzino saying it’s an amazing coincidence that Primo is here. Since he is here though, the Goblins should get him!

Luigi Primo vs. Goblins/Great Branzino

They fight over wrist control, with Primo using the pizza to mistake. Primo hits them with the pizza, so Branzino tells the Goblins to form the TROLL TRON. As Grundell gets on Dingleberry’s shoulders, Copperfield gives Primo a second pizza, which he combines with the first to scare the Goblins away. Branzino hits Primo low for the DQ at 2:31.

Post match Branzino pulls out some pepperoni pizza flavored Combos but Primo chokeslams him onto them instead….for a pin, despite the bell ringing off the low blow. These pizza and magic themed characters should be better with their continuity.

Kid Isaac/Sam Squatch vs. Devastator 2/Devastatress

Devastator is billed from Hot Topic. Devastatress is a mystery partner, who is better known as Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang Yang’s daughter). Squatch is in a rather large Bigfoot costume and seems rather interested in the Combos. Isaac hands his sunglasses to Squatch to start and they are promptly destroyed. Devastator tries a test of strength and gets a tickle from Isaac and it works so well that they do it again. Isaac offers to let Devastator tickle him but gets kicked in the ribs instead.

Back up and Isaac runs the corner, walks the rope, and jumps back down for some more tickling. Squatch comes in to run Devastator over and a double shoulder gives Isaac two. Devastatress gets in a cheap shot from behind as commentary continues to call every move either the Devastator or the Devastat-Her. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Devastatress goes after the knee.

Isaac enziguris his way to freedom and hands it back to Squatch to slow things down. A Rocket Launcher hits Devastator for two but Devastatress isn’t tickleish. Instead Isaac forearms her in the face to little avail, as she drops him fast. A low blow to Squatch sets up a chokeslam, followed by a 3D to finish Isaac at 11:08.

Rating: C-. Once you got past the joke of every move being called the Devastator/Devastate-Her, there wasn’t much to see here. Isaac wasn’t overly funny and a guy in a Bigfoot costume is only going to get you so far. I wasn’t feeling this one, but when your entire show is a bunch of jokes, some things aren’t going to land.

And now we have the “Sexy Chino Hollywood Adjacent Dance Party”. We have Sexy Chino, the Clone of John Travolta, Emo Tep (the emo mummy), Boogaloo Brown, Haystacks (a large stack of hay wearing overalls), and David Boomerang (a giant mouse). They all dance until Boomerang….starts stabbing people. Boomerang is awarded the win “by way of stabbing” and apparently this is a pattern for him.

Tag Team Titles: Darwin Finch/Fidel Bravo vs. Fabio/LJ Cleary

Finch and Bravo (with El Cucho El Sicario) are defending. Finch and Fabio start things off as commentary stops to argue with Cleary over not being able to tell the challengers apart. Fabio hits a dropkick to start so it’s off to Cleary, who gets caught with a springboard armdrag. Bravo comes in and yells at Finch, allowing the challengers to take over and dance a bit.

The double teaming has Bravo in trouble and Fabio snaps off a suplex for two. Finch gets in a slap from the apron though and Bravo scores with a DDT. Everything breaks down and Finch and Bravo take over, with Bravo actually hugging him. Then Sicario hits Finch low, allowing Bravo to hit Finch with a Falcon Arrow so Cleary can get the pin and the titles at 7:12.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a joke as much as something with an actual storyline, which worked well enough. What mattered was getting the title change out there to make the show feel important and not doing a bunch of jokes for once. It makes something like this feel like it mattered, though things were hardly serious, as you should kind of expect around here.

Post match Officer Robot Cop (exactly what it sounds like) comes out to say the new champs broke the law so the titles are officially stripped. Finch and Bravo are still champions.

Midcard Title: Battle Royal

King Dezi, Jumping Jim Logan, Tarzan Duran, Man Like DeReiss, Hobo, Mike D., Charles Ray

Yes it’s called the Midcard Title and this is billed as a “several person battle royal”. Tarzan is Tarzan, Dezi is an actual king, DeReiss raps himself to the ring, Mike is rather muscular and Ray (a Ray Charles knockoff, complete with blindness and a yellow suit) is defending. Logan yells at everyone else to start and says he is NOT jumping, despite that being his name. He finally jumps once and a bunch of people knock him silly, allowing Ray to get the pin for the elimination.

Ray sings as everyone else fights to the floor (this is feeling a lot more like an elimination match than the battle royal they advertised) before heading outside to sing about how everyone in the ring is fighting and shooting. Mike bearhugs Hobo before Tarzan comes in to work on Hobo’s arm. Hobo hits a running corner clothesline but gets taken down by a flipping neckbreaker.

The singing is still going on as DeReiss stomps on Dezi in the corner. Hobo and DeReiss trade standing switches as Tarzan listens to Ray singing. After Hobo misses a kick, DeReiss…..sprays him with air freshener for the pin. With that odd choice out of the way (Ray, still singing: “Positive sounds, that’s what I heard, hope it was good.”), Tarzan comes back in and kicks Mike outside. A springboard flip dive takes Mike down and a Code Red gets two back inside.

Mike pops back up with a powerbomb and a helicopter bomb finishes Tarzan. Ray, with his trombone, comes in and hits some people by mistake, allowing Dezi to pin Mike. We’re down to Ray, Dezi and DeReiss and the singing continues, with commentary talking about how long this song has been doing. Ray is now singing about how he has a goat and 58 farms so DeReiss goes after him, only to get sceptered down by Dezi for the pin. Ray thinks the scepter is the microphone and accidentally knocks Dezi out before covering him to retain at 14:45.

Rating: B-. Ray sang that song for over fifteen minutes and while it was just bizarre freestyling by the end, it went on for so long that it was hilarious. This whole thing was a bunch of people getting in a little bit of time while Charles did his thing and it worked far better than it should have. This was one of the better jokes on the show and that is covering a lot of ground.

Sneaky Snakes vs. Leather Daddy/Rubber Baby

The Snakes would be the Sassy Assassin/Sneaky Pete and are in striped shirts and masks, making them look like very stereotypical prisoners/bank robbers. They also have Sacre Blue with them, while Daddy and Baby have very large rubber fast masks. The Snakes jump them from behind to start as Blue seems to be fighting in this as well. Baby gets double teamed to start but Daddy makes the save with a double noggin knocker. Back up and Pete knocks the Baby’s head off, revealing a red mask.

Baby gets to clean house but super fan Courtney Glove comes in to try and calm him down….which earns her a trip to the floor. Assassin hugs Baby but gives him an atomic drop, resulting in a diaper issue (just go with it). Baby chases the villains around with a diaper and rubs it in Blue’s face…which apparently allows Blue to talk without a lisp. Blue: “I CAN FINALLY BE A VOICE ACTOR!” He’s so happy that he falls down and Baby falls down on him for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D+. So that happened. I’m not sure I get the joke here but the Snakes were at least unique in a good way…I think. This feels like something where I might need to know these people a bit more to care and this wasn’t exactly the most brilliant comedy. Much more of a skit than a match here and not in a good way.

Post match another shot to the face brings the lisp right back.

Eli Everfly vs. Gregory Shmegory Sharpe vs. Mizuki Watase

Sharpe is a high flier (as in a pilot) and Watase is from DDT Pro in Japan. Actually hang on as we have a fourth entrant.

Eli Everfly vs. Gregory Shmegory Sharpe vs. Mizuki Watase vs. Watts

Watts, a rather skinny guy, is described as a powerhouse. Watase and Watts form an early alliance which is broken up in all of three seconds. With the other three on the floor, Watase hits a big dive and strips down to his gear. Back in and Watase hits a basement dropkick on Sharpe, who is right back with a Rock Bottom. Everfly comes back in with a springboard wristdrag but Watts is back in to fall away slam all three of them. A double chokeslam puts Sharpe and Watase down but Everfly gets the sleeper.

That’s enough to bring Watts down to his knees and a triple kick to the head puts him down. Watase takes Everfly down but Sharpe knees him in the face to leave all four down. A chokebomb gets two on Sharpe with Everfly making the save. Everfly hits a heck of a tornado DDT to send Watts outside, where a top rope hurricanrana takes him down instead. Back in and Watase brainbusters Sharpe for two, followed by a scoop piledriver (starts as a slam, ends as a Tombstone) for the pin on Sharpe at 7:54.

Rating: C+. Other than the pilot thing for Sharpe, this was a pretty straight match without anything very unique or even comedy stuff. That being said, it was rather nice to have a different kind of match after doing so much of the same kind of material (even in different forms) all night long. Not a great match or anything, but a nice pallet cleanser, which you need at times.

Wrestling Pro Wrestling Wrestle Turkeys Title: Poptart Boy vs. Dark Sheik

Poptart Boy (he’s a walking Poptart and teams with Cereal Man as the Breakfast Of Champions) is defending (the title is huge and looks to be homemade) while Sheik is a mermaid (so she has to hop to the ring). A lockup puts Poptart Boy against the ropes and Sheik (still hopping, because she has a single fin instead of legs) flips him off.

Poptart Boy shoulders her down and hammers away in the corner. Sheik hammers away (Commentary: “Shot to the frosting.”) and it’s a Fish One Nine before Sheik starts eating his filling (exactly what it sounds like). Poptart Boy is fine enough to hit a chokeslam and a falling splash (frosting side down) retains the title at 4:19.

Rating: C. I’m sitting here trying to think of what to say about this and….yeah what am I supposed to say? It’s a humanoid Poptart fighting a woman whose legs are tied together to make her a mermaid while commentary uses lines from Under The Sea. This was every idea you could think of from the outer reaches of an intoxicated mind and yeah, it was kind of great.

Russel Crowe Pro Rumble

Cinderella Man, Robin Hood, 3:10 To Yuma, Gladiator, Master And Commander, Master And Commander 2, Another Gladiator, Another Gladiator, Black Gladiator, Beautiful Mind, King Ghiraffedorah

Darwin Finch is on commentary and each one is a character from a Russell Crowe movie (plus some repeats because, as commentary put it, they were running out of ideas). The bell rings and hang on as here is Ghiraffedorah (a three headed giraffe, due to reasons of just go with it) to get in the ring. Everyone backs away from him but it’s a bunch of headbutts and chokes (with the arms being other giraffe heads). Then he spits something out and it’s…..the ace of clubs, the card from the fan with the card trick about an hour and a half ago! The fan comes in and gets attacked as well so we’ll throw it out at 2:33.

Finch: “I really hope I won’t be held responsible for this.” Ghiraffedorah attacks some fans to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked it. This show didn’t try to be anything that it wasn’t and completely embraced the insanity. It was one idea likely created by Brian Kendrick and his friends under the influence of various substances and as a result it was rather fun in a lot of ways. This wasn’t about wrestling but rather having a lot of fun with wrestling going on. It’s nothing I would want to see full time or anywhere close to it, but for a one off, there is some great stuff in here. Not all of the jokes work, but or a weird trip inside the mind of wrestling fans, this was a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Rampage
Date: August 4, 2023
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Chris Jericho

Rampage is in a weird place as it has become something of a short bridge between Dynamite and Collision. There is usually one important match on the show though and in this case it is going to be a fight that takes place in a parking lot. I’m not sure what else that is going to leave but hopefully it works. Let’s get to it.

Here is Dynamite if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Hardys/Keith Lee vs. Kip Sabian/Butcher and the Blade

This is fallout from Royal Rampage. Ethan Page/Brother Zay are here with the Hardys/Lee while the Bunny is with the villains. Sabian shoulders Jeff down to start but Jeff is right back in to work on the arm. Matt comes in for a splash in the corner but gets dragged into the wrong corner so Blade can chop away. A Side Effect gets Matt out of trouble and he does his ten buckle rams in the corner. Jeff comes back in but gets pulled outside for a double teaming from the weird team of Blade and Sabian.

We take a break and come back with Jeff getting beaten up even more, but a jawbreaker gets him out of trouble. The big tag brings in Lee to clean house, including throwing everyone around at the same time. Sabian is thrown at his partners to take both of them out before everything breaks down. Lee’s big spinebuster plants Sabian and Jeff adds the Swanton for the pin at 8:53.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine six man tag here and it worked out well. Lee getting to be the battering ram that gets the tag at the end worked well, though I’m not sure I want to see him getting to stand next to the Hardys every week. For a one off match though, it could have been a lot worse. Just a nix six man with the good guys beating up some villains and that is a pretty much guaranteed win.

The Kingdom talks about their history with Dam Cole, who did all kinds of things with them, but then just vanished when he moved on. Roderick Strong should be worried about this.

The Young Bucks want back in the tag division. The Hardys come in and the match is made for Dynamite.

Anna Jay vs. Skye Blue

Matt Menard and Angelo Parker are here with Jay. They go technical to start with Blue’s headlock not getting her very far. Jay is send outside before coming back in so Blue can fire off forearms. A basement superkick hits Jay again, allowing Blue to take a quick bow (as she has done more than once now). Jay sends her to the apron and hits a running spinning kick as we take a break.

We take a break and come back with Blue fighting up and hitting a high crossbody. A running knee against the ropes gives Blue two but Skyfall is broken up. Jay grabs a Downward Spiral for two but Blue is right back up with Skyfall. Parker and Menard offer distractions though and Jay pulls her into the Queenslayer for the tap at 9:13.

Rating: C. Jay was showing some fire here but it’s almost weird to see her beating Blue at this point. Blue has steadily been falling back down the card and I don’t remember the last time Jay won a big time match. Not a bad match, and maybe Jay is getting a push out of nowhere from here?

Kris Statlander, while doing squats with Renee Young (as in Young is on Statlander’s shoulders) says it pickles her egg when someone hits her with her own belt. As for tomorrow night, Mercedes Martinez better “clean out the gutter, wash the card and caulk the tub” because Mama’s coming home on Collision. Uh….well it was different.

Tony Schiavone and Paul Wight are in the parking lot and announce that Pac is injured and unable to wrestle, but the Lucha Bros are still going to fight the winners of the Parking Lot Fight on Dynamite.

Mogul Embassy vs. Logan Cruz/Tyshaun Perez

Prince Nana is here with the Embassy. Fox wastes no time in hitting a missile dropkick to both of them at once, setting up the big running flip dive to the floor as Swerve stands there and watches. Back in and Swerve hits a top rope elbow to the back, followed by an assisted sitout powerbomb to Perez. Fox hits an Iconoclasm into a cutter and Swerve’s brainbuster sets up a 450 to finish Cruz at 2:18. That was a slick squash with the Embassy looking very good.

QTV isn’t happy with losing to the Acclaimed and Johnny TV is missing in protest. We see a clip of Johnny TV issuing an open challenge to anyone who has been on television. He also did the splits and slid backwards down a red carpet.

Big Bill and Brian Cage are ready for FTR and the Tag Team Titles.

We recap the Blackpool Combat Club vs. the Best Friends in the Parking Lot Brawl.

Blackpool Combat Club vs. Best Friends

Parking Lot Brawl. Before the match, the Club checks through the trunks of cars for Orange Cassidy. The fight is on fast with Taylor sending Castagnoli into a side mirror while Moxley uses a fork to bust Trent open. Castagnoli suplexes Taylor onto the hood of a car and Trent dives off a car onto Moxley, who gets carved up with a fork. Some shots with a broken spoiler put the Friends down but they flapjack him onto the trunk of a van (as it is opening).

The spoiler goes over the Club’s backs and Castagnoli gets crushed by a car hod. Moxley is back up and Trent gets crushed under the hood, with Chuck being dropped onto it. A trash can to the head rocks Trent again but he fights back up with some forearms. Chuck is back up with a street sign and some forking of his own.

We take a break and come back with Castagnoli being dropped onto a piece of barricade and crushed with a backsplash off a car. Moxley makes the save but Trent is back with a Dudebuster to Castagnoli on top of a car. Trent and Moxley slug it out on top of a car until Moxley Death Riders him onto a windshield. Then Chuck grabs a barbed wire 2×4 and lights it on fire, only to have Wheeler Yuta pop out of a car.

That lets Moxley hit Trent in the ribs with the 2×4 so Yuta can screwdriver him in the head. Cue Sue in the minivan, with Orange Cassidy on top. The chain is pulled out but the Club beats Cassidy down without much trouble. The Club opens the door and tells Sue to leave before Castagnoli ribs the door off the minivan. Chuck is dropped onto the door and Trent is stomped onto a windshield for the pin at 18:01.

Rating: B-. it was a hard hitting violent brawl with a lot of blood, but the whole thing only worked so well. Not only did it feel like it just kept going, but it came off like they just wanted to recreate the first one with one spot or idea after another. You knew the Sue stuff was coming and while it’s funny once, having it be this big saving grace moment feels so out of line with the violence they have been focusing on for a long time. Throw in Moxley and his stupid fork and there were several moments here that held down the stuff that did work.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event was the focal point and it is going to be well received for the violence. Other than that though, this wasn’t the strongest episode from top to bottom. It continues to be a show where you don’t feel like you missed much if you skip a good chunk of it and that isn’t the best feeling. Thankfully it’s just an hour long and far from bad, but this show rarely feels important and that is going to catch up to them at some point.

Results
Hardys/Keith Lee b. Kip Sabian/Butcher and the Blade
Anna Jay b. Skye Blue – Queenslayer
Mogul Embassy b. Logan Cruz/Tyshaun Perez – 450 to Cruz
Blackpool Combat Club b. Best Friends – Stomp onto a windshield

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Make sure you check out some recent reviews:

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Impact Wrestling – August 3, 2023

Summerslam 2022 (2023 Edition)

Smackdown – August 4, 2023

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https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/homecoming-wwe-legend-returning-special-milestone-ceremony/

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https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/watch-wwe-superstar-returns-new-look-new-mission/

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As always, hit up the comments section to chat about what is going on and get on the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page and follow us on Twitter (featuring news stories written by ME).

We’re up to one of the biggest events on the WWE calendar as it’s another stadium show in Detroit. As has been the case in Summerslams of yore, there isn’t one match that really stands above the others. Odds are Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso for the WWE Universal Title will headline, but there is at least one other option, which makes for a top heavy show. Let’s get to it.

Logan Paul vs. Ricochet

We’ll start with a match that is here to be a spectacle and nothing more. You have a pair of athletic marvels here and those are the kind of stars who can put on one heck of a showcase if given the chance. That is what they are going to get here, and the fact that Paul has done so well so far in his WWE career has me interested in seeing what they can put together here.

As much as I’d like to see Ricochet win, this one almost has to go to Paul. He hasn’t won a singles match since last Summerslam and that is going to have to change soon. Ricochet is a name but he isn’t someone with some kind of perfect resume that would be crushed with a loss. This is going to be all about putting together a highlight reel and if they don’t get too crazy, this should be a blast with Paul winning in the end.

Shayna Baszler vs. Ronda Rousey

This is under MMA rules, though we still don’t exactly know what that means. The interesting thing here is that Rousey is likely done with WWE in the near future, which should give you a good idea of where this is going. The hype for this video has done a great job of humanizing Baszler and that could make things a lot better for her going forward. You know, because she’ll be around.

I’ll go with Baszler here, as there is no reason to put Rousey over if she is on her way out of the company. It would be nice to have Baszler finally get a big win and then hopefully move into the title picture. The rules should make things a bit more interesting, but at the end of the day, this needs to be Baszler getting the biggest win of her career, which is long overdue to say the least.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins(c) vs. Finn Balor

This one has me more interested than I would have expected and that is due to a mixture of Balor and Damian Priest. While Balor winning the title is not out of the question, WWE has set up the idea of Priest cashing in the Money In The Bank briefcase. While that is regularly done without going anywhere, it would be great to pull the trigger on the thing and get rid of it. But what happens with the title?

I think I’ll actually take Balor to win the title here, as WWE has built him up as a big enough threat to become champion that he almost has to win it here. That being said, I don’t think Priest cashes in here, but I do think he’ll do it soon. Either Balor or Priest feels destined to turn face soon and Balor winning the title would be a big step there if done in a certain way. Rollins very well may leave with the title, but Balor feels like the right move here.

Slim Jim Battle Royal

Now this one is extra tricky because we only know about half of the twenty five entrants. That means there is always the chance of a surprise entrant taking the whole thing, but for now we’ll have to settle on twelve entrants. There hasn’t been a ton of focus on this match, but that is kind of how a battle royal has to go most of the time. One name in particular stands out, though it wouldn’t stun me to see WWE go another way.

In my prediction sure to go wrong, I have a feeling that instead of LA Knight winning, as would make sense, Grayson Waller gets the nod instead. It would be very WWE to have him pick up the surprise win and then brag about it forever, even if Knight needs the win a lot more than anyone else right now. Knight being eliminated from a battle royal isn’t some death knell, but Waller winning would be a huge boost for him. I hope I’m wrong, but Waller winning feels like a real possibility.

Intercontinental Title: Gunther(c) vs. Drew McIntyre

This one has some extra weight to it, as Gunther winning could almost guarantee that he breaks Honky Tonk Man’s all time record for longest title reign (about five weeks away). McIntyre is probably the last big name standing to try to prevent him from braking the record and it would absolutely not be out of the question to see the title change hands here. I’m just not sure it’s going to.

It’s kind of hard to imagine WWE getting this close to Honky Tonk Man’s record and then just hitting the breaks a little over a month out. While it’s weird to think that McIntyre came back to lose in his first major match, that makes more sense here as Gunther can retain and move on into September to take the all time record. This should be a very hard hitting fight, but Gunther retains. I think. As he should. I think.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka(c) vs. Charlotte vs. Bianca Belair

This is a match that got a lot more attention on Smackdown and that is a good thing. The build for this has been a bit all over the place, but the gist of the whole thing has been that everyone wants the title and to be the best. That is how wrestling is supposed to work and in that sense, it has gone rather well. In the other sense, it is a match that could go in any direction, which is always a good thing. The fact that I have almost no idea who leaves with the title makes it that much better.

I think I’ll actually go with Asuka to retain here, in an overdue win. Charlotte winning the title would be the most cliched result imaginable, which means it is a rather strong possibility. Belair winning would make sense given that she has been more aggressive as of late, which would make a title win all the more logical. That leaves Asuka, who would seem likely to lose, but by WWE logic, I’ll take her winning and retaining. Makes sense right?

Brock Lesnar vs. Cody Rhodes

It’s the rubber match between these two and oddly enough there is no stipulation. This match has felt like it needed to be something violent so the two of them could go to war, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the rules lightened up at last a little bit. Either way, it should be a heck of a test for Rhodes, who needs another big win to get him back to the main event scene.

I can’t picture a result where this goes to Lesnar so I’ll take Rhodes instead. It makes all the sense in the world for Rhodes to win here, as Lesnar is likely going away again until Wrestlemania season. Rhodes on the other hand could very well be back in the World Title picture after a win. Give this one to Rhodes and let him get the boost, which seems to be the entire point of the feud (not a bad idea at all).

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Jey Uso

This is Tribal Combat, which seems to mean Street Fight. It’s also the latest big step in the Bloodline Saga, and in this case, you can all but guarantee that Jimmy Uso is going to return here. That makes the question what Jimmy does and how it will impact the ending, as you almost have to imagine it going in that direction. At the same time though, there is another direction that is hard to fathom as well.

No matter what though, I can’t imagine Jey wins the title here. It is just hard to imagine him actually winning the title, no matter what story is being told. It’s going to be a heck off a fight with both of them working and he weapons evening things out a bit but this it Reigns and I don’t think that will be the biggest surprise. Jey has been playing with the house’s money for a long time now and he will do it again here, even as he loses.

Overall Thoughts

The more I look at this card, the more interested I am in seeing the show. There are a lot of matches on the card that have me curious and that is a nice feeling to have. There is a little bit of everything on the show and that should make for a good Summerslam. The show has an up and down history over the years but there is a real chance that this show brings the quality.

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Smackdown
Date: August 4, 2023
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

It’s the night before Summerslam and that means we are in for the final push before tomorrow’s big show. The big main event this week is a brother vs. brother showdown between Jey Uso and Solo Sikoa, which should make for a heck of a main event. Other than that we’ll be seeing some of the other matches, including the battle royal, getting some focus. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is LA Knight to one heck of a roar, with Cole saying that Knight is getting support like never before and it is becoming a groundswell. Knight talks about how it is Summerslam weekend and he is ready to be in the 25 man battle royal. He looks at some of the entrants and sees a bunch of stooges. One of the people is Sheamus, who he gets to face tonight. Sheamus has done it all, but tonight he gets another item added to his resume: losing to LA Knight! To say Knight was over here is an understatement.

LA Knight vs. Sheamus

The other Brawling Brutes are here too. Knight starts fast and knocks him into the corner before they crash out to the floor. Sheamus fights back and knocks him down as a bunch of people (all in the battle royal) come to ringside. Sheamus hits White Noise onto the apron and we take an early break.

Back with Knight fighting out of a chinlock and hitting the spelling elbow. A torture rack faceplant gets two but Blunt Force Trauma is countered into the Irish Curse. The super White Noise gets two on Knight and the Texas Cloverleaf goes on, sending Knight to the ropes. They both go up and crash down to the floor but here is Austin Theory to jump Santos Escobar. The big fight is on outside, leaving Sheamus to grab Miz. The Brogue Kick puts Miz down, allowing Knight to hit Blunt Force Trauma to finish Sheamus at 12:45.

Rating: C+. And that’s all you have to do. It’s not hard to give someone a simple push and the easiest way is to just have them win matches. Knight beat Sheamus, who is pretty much bulletproof, and it makes him look like a bigger deal. His momentum is starting to build and it’s a good sign that commentary is acknowledging Knight’s reactions. Now just give him the battle royal, or at least a hot feud coming out of it, and they’re rolling.

Post match the ring is cleared, with Knight running off from the numbers game (smart).

Post break the Club and the Brawling Brutes are about to fight when Adam Pearce seems to make a tag match for later. Sheamus and AJ Styles have a staredown and that could be interesting.

Long video on Cody Rhodes vs. Brock Lesnar.

Brawling Brutes vs. OC

Michin is here with the OC. Gallows kicks Holland to start and an assisted big boot takes him down. Anderson comes in but gets his fingers bent backwards by Butch. The armbar doesn’t do much for Butch and everything breaks down quickly. We take a break and come back with Anderson chinlocking Holland, who powers out and brings Butch back in. Everything breaks down…and the Street Profits, in suits, run in for the no contest at 8:15.

Rating: C. The match was only good enough until the run-in, which is a lot more interesting. Neither of these teams has exactly been doing much in recent weeks so it’s nice to see a talented team getting a fresh coat of paint. Not a bad match, but it wasn’t the point here in the slightest and that isn’t a bad thing.

Post match the Profits beat both teams down and the fans seem VERY interested (fair enough). Bobby Lashley comes out to celebrate with the Profits and gets quite the positive reaction. The fans really like this one.

Video on Charlotte, who is having champagne on a yacht and is ready for the biggest women’s match in Summerslam history. She has won at Summerslam before and knows she is better, so raise a toast to the fifteen time champion.

Here is Paul Heyman who doesn’t know how we got here with Jey Uso vs. Roman Reigns. After tomorrow night, you probably won’t see Uso again and everything that happens to him at Summerslam will be because of Reigns. When Reigns enters this ring tomorrow night, he will be cognizant of the fact that it will be Tribal Combat.

We get a video (narrated by Heyman) talking about the importance of tribal combat on the island of Samoan. Rikishi, Afa and Sika talk about the importance of the lei, which represents the tribal chief. Only one man can carry that honor and tomorrow night there will be a winner and a loser.

Back in the arena, Heyman talks about how Reigns has been Universal Champion and Tribal Chief for nearly three years. Jey Uso will never be either and yeah he could say that’s a spoiler but here is Uso to interrupt (with Heyman knowing he’s in trouble). Jey talks about the violent things he’s going to do to Reigns tomorrow and it is going to result in him becoming the new Universal Champion and the Tribal Chief.

Cue Solo Sikoa (facing Jey tonight) but Jey says he can forgive his brother for what he has done. Heyman tells Jey to stop, but Sikoa glares at him. We get a quick sidebar but Sikoa says something we can’t hear to Jey. Sikoa tells Heyman to get out, allowing Jey to drop Sikoa with a superkick.

We look back at Rey Mysterio being hurt last week, resulting in Santos Escobar moving on to the US Title match against Austin Theory next week. Apparently Rey suffered whiplash and he is day to day.

Austin Theory doesn’t get how Escobar won, but next week, he is dedicating his victory to Rey Mysterio. Tonight, Cameron Grimes is getting his dreams crushed.

Austin Theory vs. Cameron Grimes

Non-title. Theory knocks him down to start and here is Santos Escobar for a distraction, allowing Grimes to hit the Cave In for two as Theory’s foot is on the ropes (they got me with that one). Grimes sends him into the barricade a few times and a high crossbody gets two back inside. The flipping powerslam gives Grimes two more as Theory is totally rocked so far. Theory avoids a charge though and manages to knock Grimes off the top. A Town Down finishes Grimes at 3:02.

Rating: C. This was a very fast paced match and Theory barely got in any offense throughout. I’m not wild on Grimes losing here and he is already feeling a lot colder than he was not too long ago. Theory shouldn’t be losing but was there no one else he could have beaten here? Either way, not much of a competitive match and not the best sign for the champ going into a big title defense.

Post match Escobar comes back in to Phantom Driver Theory. He almost has to win the title at this point.

Video on Asuka, who is ready to defend her title at Summerslam despite not having a champion’s advantage.

It’s time for the Grayson Waller Effect. Just like in life, one woman isn’t enough for Waller on this show so he brings out both Bayley and Iyo Sky as his guests. Waller asks Sky if she is going to cash in Money In The Bank at Summerslam but Bayley cuts her off and says they’re not telling their strategy (Sky isn’t looking pleased).

With Bayley laughing, Shotzi’s voice pops up to scare Bayley out of her wits. That was a joke from Waller…..but here is Shotzi’s tank, which isn’t from Waller. Cue Shotzi from behind to chase Bayley off, complete with hair clippers for a threatened haircut. It’s Zelina Vega (scheduled to face Sky tonight) in the tank.

Iyo Sky vs. Zelina Vega

Joined in progress with Vega firing off forearms, setting up the top rope Meteora. The Code Red is blocked though and Vega hits a butterfly backbreaker. The running knees in the corner set up the Over The Moonsault but we cut to Shotzi going after Bayley’s hair on the stage. Bayley gets away but the distraction lets Vega hit the Code Red for the pin at 2:58.

Bianca Belair is getting her gear ready to win the title back at Summerslam. If you want her to jump through hoops, tell her how high.

Summerslam rundown.

Edge is back in two weeks for his 25th anniversary celebration in his hometown of Toronto.

Solo Sikoa vs. Jey Uso

Paul Heyman is here with Sikoa. Jey grabs a headlock to start and is promptly knocked down. The fight heads outside rather quickly with Sikoa not being able to hit Spinning Solo through the announcers’ table. Instead Jey hits a superkick and a suicide dive to send him onto the table for a big crash.

We take a break and come back with Jey fighting out of a nerve hold but having his suicide dive cut off by a shot to the face. Back in and the Samoan drop plants Jey but the running Umaga attack misses in the corner. Jey slugs away and kicks him in the ribs, only to get blasted with a clothesline. Another shot staggers Sikoa though and a high crossbody gives Jey two. Jey’s running Umaga attack is cut off by a spinwheel kick and now Spinning Solo connects. The Samoan Spike is ducked though and they trade superkicks until Jey hits a spear. The Superfly Splash finishes Sikoa at 10:41.

Rating: B-. Ignoring that this was the same way they set up Cody Rhodes vs. Roman Reigns on the Raw before Wrestlemania, this was a good way to give Jey some momentum heading into the title match. Beating Sikoa still feels like a big deal and thankfully it was off the splash and not Jey’s lame spear. This wasn’t exactly inspired storytelling but it did what it needed to do.

Post match Sikoa goes after Jey again but gets a chair superkicked into his face. Jey takes Sikoa out with the chair, with Barrett pointing out how valuable this could be for Jey tomorrow night (nice point).

Overall Rating: B-. As tends to be the case on WWE go home shows, there wasn’t much in the way of action here, but they did a good job of making me care about Summerslam. The battle royal, the Women’s Title match and Tribal Combat all got some attention and that is what this show needed to cover. It’s certainly not a must see show and it was only pretty good, but I’m more invested in Summerslam than I was coming in so they are definitely doing something right.

Results
LA Knight b. Sheamus – Blunt Force Trauma
OC vs. Brawling Brutes went to a no contest when the Street Profits interfered
Austin Theory b. Cameron Grimes – A Town Down
Zelina Vega b. Iyo Sky – Code Red
Jey Uso b. Solo Sikoa – Superfly Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 3, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re on the way to Emergence and the show still has a long way to go to setting up the card. Deonna Purrazzo is set to challenge Trinity for the Knockouts Title along with a few other matches but the show is going to need more than that. There is a good chance we will hear some more for the card this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Trinity to talk about what Chicago means to her. This is where she made her Impact Wrestling debut. It’s amazing how far things have come for her because she was thinking about ending her career. Then she debuted here and wanted to become the Knockouts Champion and she DID IT. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to interrupt and congratulate Trinity on her win. She knows what it feels like to win the title on your first chance. The only difference between the two is that the roles are reversed.

Purrazzo says she never tapped out out, with Trinity saying she did at Slammiversary. Trinity says she can make Purrazzo tap, with Purrazzo saying prove it. Cue the Coven to interrupt, saying no one wants Trinity here. KiLynn King suggests that she should be champion and Taylor Wilde isn’t happy that they have to be in Chicago. Threats and a brawl lead to a match being made by Santino Marella.

Coven vs. Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo

Trinity and King go to the mat to start before Trinity elbows her in the face. A rather twisty rollup gives Trinity two but a headscissors is easily blocked. Wilde comes in and gets kicked in the stomach. Trinity is fine enough to take Wilde into the corner and rain down right hands….but Purrazzo tags herself in to cut things off. A hurricanrana sends Wilde flying but she takes Purrazzo into the corner so King can come in.

That doesn’t last long as Purrazzo gets away for the tag to Trinity as the pace picks up. A bulldog into the middle buckle rocks Wilde but King tosses Trinity off the top. King backflips Wilde into a moonsault onto Trinity for two as the villains take over again. Trinity fights up again though and gets over to Purrazzo for the hot tag.

King fights out of the Fujiwara armbar and gets two off a DDT as everything breaks down. Trinity’s Rear View is countered into a German suplex and everyone is down again. Purrazzo Fujiwaras King down again but Wilde makes the save this time. Trinity kicks Purrazzo in the head by mistake and the King’s Curse (pumphandle flipped into a faceplant) finishes Purrazzo at 10:15.

Rating: C+. The Coven getting a win back is a good thing and Trinity and Purrazzo having issues makes perfect sense. This wasn’t exactly inspired booking, but it was the kind of match that helped multiple things at once. I still like the Coven quite a bit and it would make sense to see them be put back in the title scene sooner than later.

The Rascalz are ready to win the #1 contenders tag team tournament, even if they should just get the title shot already. Scott D’Amore comes in to say they’re fined two weeks pay for coming back after they were ejected a few weeks ago. If they do it again, it’s an indefinite suspension, but yeah D’Amore is happy they’re back!

Alisha Edwards rants to Eddie Edwards about Traci Brooks. Jody Threat comes in say that’s nonsense and again, arguing leads to a match, this time next week.

Heath vs. Alan Angels

This is over who is the REAL rockstar of Impact. Angels slaps him in the face to start and then bails out to the floor. Back in and Heath knocks him outside again without much effort but stops to celebrate with some fans. That lets Angels dropkick toe steps in the knees, meaning Angels has a target back inside. The moonsault misses though and Heath gets to slug away. Angels manages to go up top but dives into a powerslam for a rather near fall. The Wake Up Call misses though and Angels goes right back to the knee. A kick to the head misses though and the Wake Up Call finishes for Heath at 6:17.

Rating: C+. Heath has really grown on me in recent months as he has this likability to him and it shows almost every time he’s out there. No he isn’t going to be World Champion or anything close to it, but he’s perfectly fine as a midcard face that the fans can get behind. Go with him for a little bit and let the fans have fun with him as it’s not going to hurt anything.

We look back at the Design taking out Eric Young last week.

Eric Young isn’t surprised at what happened but gets asked an interesting question: wasn’t he supposed to be dead? Young says the fans didn’t know what they were seeing and they will see what happened tonight.

Jake Something vs. Davey Vega

Jake sends him down fast to start and launches Vega off for trying a headlock. A running shoulder blasts Vega before Something smashes him with a heck of a forearm. Vega tries to leave but gets hit with a flying block block (like the start of a Thesz press but Jake stays on his feet), followed by a swinging Boss Man Slam for the pin at 2:35. Something looked great here.

Last week, Moose talked to Brian Myers, Bully Ray and Lio Rush, all of whom are here to get the World Title. Rush was told to give them an answer by the end of the night, which he did by joining them at the end of the show.

Myers, Moose and Ray interrupt Rush on the phone, with Ray asking who he’s talking to. Rush says that’s none of his business, but Ray is VERY happy with Rush’s decision. Rush says he’s not here to make friends, but Moose doesn’t care about that. All that matters is Rush helping them, which Rush will do at Emergence. Ray wants Rush with them next week for a six man tag and says they’ll trust him until he gives them a reason not to.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Yuya Uemura vs. Kenny King

King, with Sheldon Jean, is defending. Before the match, Hendry doesn’t seem happy with Uemura being involved in his one and only title rematch. King shoves Uemura into Hendry to start and we get a few rollups for two each. Back up and Hendry chops both of them until King hits him in the face. There’s a kick to Uemura in the corner as this isn’t exactly picking up the pace so far. King knocks Hendry to the floor and hits a running dropkick to Uemura. Back in and Hendry neckbreakers King, who DDTs Uemura at the same time as we take a break.

We come back with King forearming Hendry and then suplexing Uemura out to the floor. King can’t hit the Royal Flush on Hendry so here is Uemura to crossbody both of them down. Uemura tries it again but dives into Hendry’s cutter. Jean pulls Hendry out so King can get two so Hendry blasts Jean with a clothesline. King sends Uemura into King though and the Royal Flush finishes Uemura to retain the title at 12:19.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but it was a lot better once they came back from the break. What matters here is Uemura is the one who took the pin, which gets Hendry out of the title picture without taking a fall. That’s the best way to go for everyone as Uemura doesn’t really have much stature in the first place. Now do something else with Hendry already.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Mike Bailey b. Jack Evans at Emergence 2022.

Mike Bailey and Jonathan Gresham don’t quite agree with the way the rules are enforced around here but they think they can work together to win the #1 contenders tournament. This doesn’t seem to be the best pairing.

Video on Josh Alexander returning and uniting with the Motor City Machine Guns and Kushida against the resident heel faction. Kushida and Chris Sabin might not be on the same page about the X-Division Title though.

The Beautiful People and Awesome Kong will be back for Impact 1000. Cool.

The Death Dollz are looking for a plan to get a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot from Santino Marella. Crazzy Steve comes in to try and find out why it’s Courtney Rush and not Rosemary but she shoves him aside. Steve: “Ok I understand.”

Tag Team Titles #1 Contenders Tournament First Round: Rascalz vs. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey

Miguel gets knocked down to start so it’s off to bailey to armdrag Wentz. The bouncing kicks have Wentz in more trouble and there’s the enziguri to put him down. Gresham comes in and works on the arm before tying up the leg as well. Miguel offers a distraction though, allowing Wentz to hit a good looking dropkick. Bailey is knocked off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Gresham fighting up and bringing Bailey in to pick up the pace. The standing shooting star press gets two on Miguel but a Wentz distraction lets Miguel grab a German suplex. Some kicks get Bailey out of trouble and Gresham comes back in for an assisted rolling cutter on Miguel with Wentz making the save. Everything breaks down and Gresham powerbombs and forearms Miguel for two. With the referee distracted Miguel gets in the spray paint to Gresham for the pin (with trunks) at 13:16.

Rating: B-. The spray paint thing is getting old fast but at least it’s something Miguel has done for a long time. The Rascalz moving forward is a better fit than another team of partners who hate each other but work well in the ring so they went with the logical move. Not a great match, but it made the Rascalz look good after a long time apart.

We look back at Deaner stabbing Eric Young to kill him off last year. Then Deaner sat there and Young laid there….until he spit up blood and started laughing. Young crawled outside and got on a motorcycle to ride away (while Deaner was presumably getting donuts or something). Young narrates a video about life and death being opposites.

Can you die if you never truly lived? Death can be a gateway and a door and it can be beautiful. But he’s not censored dead yet. A man can be killed and a body can be disposed of, but an idea is eternal. He’s more than death and more than an idea, so he will live forever. Uh yeah….we’re going to go with “they overthought this one” and move on.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was good enough with some nice action, but that Eric Young video at the end was so over the top that I was trying not to laugh. Other than that, I’m a bit optimistic about some of the names who could be moving up the charges, as Heath, Jake Something and Joe Hendry all seem like they could have bright futures. Impact is starting to make those people look like bigger deals and that is a good idea, as the roster is a good bit aged at the top. Now just figure something out with them and see how far you can go.

Results
The Coven b. Trinity/Deonna Purrazzo – King’s Curse to Purrazzo
Heath b. Alan Angels – Wake Up Call
Jake Something b. Davey Vega – Swinging Boss Man Slam
Kenny King b. Joe Hendry and Yuya Uemura – Royal Flush to Uemura
Rascalz b. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey – Rollup with trunks to Gresham

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Ring Of Honor
Date: August 3, 2023
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Caprice Coleman

We’re back after a not so great fallout show from Death Before Dishonor. The show featured a bunch of the same things that we have seen for months, plus the start of another TV Title #1 contenders tournament but minus the new Tag Team Champions. Maybe things can be better here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick rundown of the show.

TV Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Christopher Daniels vs. Shane Taylor

Daniels can’t get a drop toehold to start but he can avoid a charge in the corner. The right hands don’t work for Daniels though as Taylor blasts him with a clothesline. Taylor runs him over with a shoulder and then hits a heck of a right hand. The chinlock goes on but Daniels is back up with a quick neckbreaker. The middle rope hurricanrana sends Taylor flying but he’s back with a release Rock Bottom and the slam for two. A middle rope crossbody of all things crushes Daniels again and the Marcus Garvey Driver finishes him off at 6:40.

Rating: C. Daniels couldn’t get much going here as Taylor was that much bigger. The good thing about someone like Taylor is that while he’s big, he can also move around enough to make himself more dangerous. I could go for a bit more of him, though seeing Daniels lose this decisively is a little weird.

The Iron Savages want the Tag Team Titles from Aussie Open.

Tag Team Titles: Aussie Open vs. Iron Savages

The Savages, with Jacked Jameson, are challenging. Fletcher and Bronson start things off and they do a shouting forearm exchange. A slam plants Bronson and it’s off to Davis, who gets the big power showdown with Boulder. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere but Boulder’s second attempt manages to knock him down. Bronson is back in with a backsplash as everything breaks down.

The Aussies send them outside and score with dives for a bonus. A running kick into a backsplash gets two on Bronson, followed by a loud chop in the corner. Bronson manages a high crossbody of all things and Boulder gets to come in and clean house. The running powerslam gives Boulder two but Bronson has to break up a double something. There’s a double spinebuster for two on Davis so Boulder puts Bronson on his shoulders. All that does is set up an inadvertent Doomsday Device, followed by some kicks to the head for two. The Coriolis finishes Boulder at 10:28.

Rating: C+. I still like the Savages a good bit but this was more an instance of them being monsters to be slayed by the new champions. The Aussies are already being featured more than the Lucha Bros around here so maybe some things are getting better. This worked for a first title defense and as usual, the Aussies work so well together.

Post match the Aussies go to the back where they run into Tony Khan, who congratulates them. What kind of a nothing cameo was that?

Stokely Hathaway likes the feedback on the tournament so far and they might make another one. Dalton Castle comes in to say he should be in the tournament, with Hathaway hinting that he took Castle out. Cue Samoa Joe to say he’s tired of Castle and makes a tag match between himself/Hathaway and the Boys in two weeks. Hathaway’s reaction is as expected. I can go for Castle chasing Joe, as at least it’s a story.

Pure Rules Title: Josh Woods vs. Katsuyori Shibata

Shibata is defending and Woods has Mark Sterling with him. They go to the mat to start until Shibata takes the leg out. Shibata wrestles him down until cranking on the kneebar. They roll outside with the hold still on to keep up the damage. Back up and they fight around the outside with a lockup before having to come in to beat the count.

The fight over arm control is on back inside with Woods getting the better of it but making the mistake of trying the PK. Shibata fires up and hits a running corner dropkick into a butterfly suplex for two. The sleeper goes on and Woods has to use the first rope break. They forearm it out until stereo kicks put both of them down. Woods actually gets the better of things and kicks away, only to get sleepered into the PK to retain the title at 11:12.

Rating: B-. These matches are hit and miss most of the time but this was one of the better ones. The idea of this division being more about wrestling is fine, but the problem is there isn’t much difference between this and what you see in most matches. Shibata is rather nifty in the ring, though Woods hasn’t been that interesting in a long time. Good enough match, but Shibata’s title rarely feels like it is in jeopardy.

Respect is shown post match, with Sterling not being happy.

Dalton Castle vs. Zack Clayton

The Boys are here with Castle. Clayton starts fast and stomps him down in the corner, setting up some trash talk. Back up and Castle slugs away but the suplex is blocked. Castle isn’t having this and comes back with forearms to the face. The Bang A Rang finishes Clayton at 3:50.

Rating: C. It wasn’t quite a squash but at least they got to the point here and let Castle look good in his win. Castle seems ready to go after the TV Title (again) sooner than later so hopefully we are on the way to something bigger for him in the coming weeks. Castle has long since been in need of more exposure around here and it would be nice to have this be the start.

Respect is shown post match.

Josh Woods talks about his resume but he is tired of all the losing and something has to change.

The Infantry vs. Nick Comoroto/Jora Johl

Trish Adora is here with the Infantry. Bravo suplexes Johl to start and hammers away in the corner. A few hard shots stagger Bravo though and a suplex puts him down. Back up and Bravo ducks a superkick, which hits Comoroto by mistake. Dean comes in off the hot tag and it’s a Russian legsweep/big boot combination to finish Johl at 4:37.

Rating: C. Much like the Castle match, this wasn’t a squash but it was designed to make someone look good. That worked out well as the Infantry can certainly use a win, though it’s a bit difficult to imaging them rising up the card after being destroyed so often. For now though, a quick win is better than nothing.

Leyla Hirsch vs. Miranda Vionette

The volume gets a lot louder for Hirsch’s entrance for some reason. A gator roll has Miranda in trouble to start but she’s back up with a small package. Cue Maria Kanellis-Bennett to watch from the stage as Hirsch unloads with right hands. A running kick into the Saito suplex sends Miranda into the corner. Miranda’s one move comeback is countered into a cross armbreaker for the tap at 3:19.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t as entertaining or effective of a squash as the previous two matches, but the Maria stuff is a bit more interesting. Hirsch has felt like someone ready to move up and being aligned with Maria is one of the more intriguing options that she could have. Granted it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t go anywhere, but it’s better than nothing.

TV Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Tony Nese vs. Gravity

Mark Sterling is with Nese. Gravity interrupts Nese’s group training deal and hits a gorilla press as commentary points out Gravity’s recent loss to Samoa Joe. A Sterling distraction lets Nese knock him outside, where Sterling gets in a cheap shot for a bonus. Gravity fights up, ignores a Sterling distraction, and hits a big dive to the floor to drop Nese. Back in and a splash gives Gravity two but Nese kicks him in the face. Gravity scores with a quick powerbomb though and the top rope splash finishes Nese at 5:34.

Rating: C+. Gravity overcome the odds here and put in a solid performance, though they’re going to have to come up with a pretty special idea to find a way to get me interested in Joe vs. Gravity II. Commentary even pointed it out so it wouldn’t surprise me to see it being some overcoming the odds/redemption story. Other than that, Nese is still an acceptable villain for Gravity to conquer.

Women’s Title: Athena vs. Diamante

Diamante is challenging after winning three matches in a row (simple and effective). Athena toys with her to start but gets kicked to the apron and baseball slidden to the floor. That’s fine with Athena, who whips her hard into the barricade to take over. Back in and Athena grabs a surfboard but misses a running boot to the head.

Athena doesn’t seem to mind as she hits a Side Effect onto the apron, followed by a spinning backbreaker for two. The O Face is blocked though and Diamante hits the Chaos Theory for two. Athena knocks her out of the air and grabs a crossface. Diamante slips out, only to get rolled up to retain Athena’s title at 9:19.

Rating: C+. This was another match where it wasn’t quite a squash but it was pretty one sided for a long stretch. Athena is still by far the most dominant champion the women’s division has ever seen but I’m really wondering who is supposed to come after her. Barring someone coming over from AEW (which is likely), she has completely cleaned out the division and there isn’t much of anyone left to come after her.

Post match Athena actually shows some respect.

The Boys vs. Gates Of Agony

Prince Nana is here with the Gates. The fans are rather behind the Boys, even as Kaun stomps Brent down in the corner. Kaun pulls him out of the air and sends him flying so Toa can come in for a splash in the corner. Nana gets in some cheap shots and Kaun adds a backsplash but Brent manages to enziguri his way to freedom. Everything breaks down and Toa hits a Samoan drop, followed by Open The Gates to finish Brandon at 4:17.

Rating: C. I’ve long since lost interest in Dalton Castle/The Boys vs. the Embassy as they are two of the only longstanding six man teams around here. They did a nice job with the layout of the match though as there is little reason to believe that the Boys can have a chance against these two monsters. And hey the Gates are actually winning some regular tag matches!

Diamante isn’t sure what Athena was doing but Athena comes in to say she saw her younger self in Diamante out there. So figure out what’s missing and stay away from her.

Cole Karter vs. LSG

Karter dropkicks him at the bell but LSG is back up with a waistlock. That earns him a throat first shot into the rope and Karter hits another dropkick. A snap suplex drops LSG again as Maria Kanellis-Bennett is here again. LSG makes the comeback but gets kneed out of the air. A Razor’s Edge spun into a DDT finishes LSG at 2:58. Thank goodness we got a Cole Karter feature match.

The Dark Order thanks Stu Bennett after their Death Before Dishonor match.

Robyn Renegade vs. Christina Marie

Charlotte is here with Robyn. Marie actually takes over with a slam for two to start but stops to chase Charlotte, allowing Robyn to get in a cheap shot. Robyn’s basement dropkick gets two so she yells at Marie a lot. One heck of a clothesline gets two on Marie, who is back up with a clothesline of her own. Robyn doesn’t seem to mind as she grabs an abdominal stretch and pulls her down into something like a Koji Clutch for the tap at 3:57.

Rating: C. I still like the Renegades and they can do well on their own, but this is another example of a match that could have been cut to let the show breathe a bit. As usual, there is too much being crammed into this show and while the Renegades are interesting prospects, they could have done this elsewhere. Or maybe against a team, if ROH can scrape one together.

Workhorsemen vs. Komander/El Hijo del Vikingo

Oh you thought you were getting a week without the Workhorsemen didn’t you? Henry grabs Komander’s arm to start but can’t get very far with it. Instead Komander is back up with a dropkick before Drake comes in to shrug off some forearms. Vikingo comes in with a springboard missile dropkick and a frog splash (with Eddie dance) gets two on Drake. A crazy headscissors takes Drake down but since it’s just a headscissors, he’s right back up with the chops.

We settle down to a Russian legsweep/big boot combination getting two on Vikingo but he’s back up with a kick to the head. Komander gets cut off before the tag though and Henry hits a Shining Wizard for two. Vikingo is fine enough to hit a Code Red and now Komander comes back in to pick up the pace. House is cleaned and it’s quickly back to Vikingo, who is pulled out of the air for a swinging butterfly suplex. Vikingo’s step up dropkick connects and the stereo rope walk moonsaults take the Workhorsemen down. Stereo 450 splashes finish Drake at 8:09.

Rating: B-. Good match with the luchadors doing their crazy high flying, but Caprice Coleman summed up the issue. Coleman said he had never seen this before, which made me think “I have, because I saw it on Dynamite”. It’s exciting, but it might be more exciting if it wasn’t something that had happened the day before. I’m not sure why they needed to be on this show to get their win back, but that has long since been a Tony Khan thing.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was better than last week, but it’s still full of the same problems it has always had. I do like the Maria scouting stuff and Athena encouraging Diamante, but those things are in the middle of so many matches that don’t feel like they’re going anywhere. As usual the match quality isn’t the problem, but rather how much of it there is and how long it goes.

Results
Shane Taylor b. Christopher Daniels – Marcus Garvey Driver
Aussie Open b. Iron Savages – Coriolis to Boulder
Katsuyori Shibata b. Josh Woods – Penalty Kick
Dalton Castle b. Zack Clayton – Bang A Rang
The Infantry b. Nick Comoroto/Jora Johl – Russian legsweep/big boot combination to Johl
Leylah Hirsch b. Miranda Vionette – Cross armbreaker
Gravity b. Tony Nese – Top rope splash
Athena b. Diamante – Rollup
Gates Of Agony b. The Boys – Open The Gates to Brandon
Robyn Renegade b. Christina Marie – Abdominal stretch neck crank
Komander/El Hijo del Vikingo b. Workhorsemen – Double 450 to Drake

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Make sure you check out some recent reviews:

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Summerslam 2020 (2021 Edition)

Summerslam 2021 (2022 Edition)

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Dynamite
Date: August 2, 2023
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Taz, Excalibur

It’s the 200th episode and you know that means we should be in for something good. The most important thing here is that it is time to start getting ready for All In, which needs something announced already. Other than that, we have a Women’s Title match as Hikaru Shida challenges Toni Storm. Let’s get to it.

Here is Collision if you need a recap.

The old set is back for a nice touch.

Sammy Guevara/Daniel Garcia vs. Chris Jericho/Konosuke Takeshita

Jericho and Takeshita have Don Callis with them. Guevara and Jericho chop it out until the former scores with a jumping knee. Garcia and Guevara get to strike a pose before Garcia chops it out with Jericho. Takeshita comes in to kick Garcia down so Jericho comes back in for a suplex. Jericho drops Garcia again and we take a break.

Back with Guevara coming in to clean house, including a suicide elbow to Jericho and a running flip dive to Takeshita. They get back in and Takeshita gets the Blue Thunder Bomb on Guevara but can’t get the Walls Of Takeshita (which is apparently a thing). Jericho is back in with the Codebreaker for two as all four get in again. Guevara kicks Takeshita to the floor as Garcia gets the Dragontamer on Jericho. Callis bats Garcia down but Jericho doesn’t approve….but does get the pin at 12:21.

Rating: B-. This was about Callis still trying to recruit Jericho, who might be getting with the program a bit. Other than that, you had Garcia and Guevara being entertaining enough as a team and Takeshita feeling like a star. Odds are this is heading towards Jericho vs. either Takeshita or someone else from Callis’ family down the line, but we might be a good way off from that point just yet.

Tony Khan says we are on the way to the biggest wrestling event of all time (no) and we see a highlight package from some of the best moments in Dynamite history.

Matt Menard tells Chris Jericho has to be at a mandatory meeting of the Jericho Appreciation Society.

Here is Jack Perry to say that he wants Jerry Lynn out here to end this. Lynn comes out to say that he isn’t going to come down there and beat up Perry, because that would be child abuse. On top of that, his neck is so banged up that no doctor would ever clear him. Instead, he’s made a phone call to a friend of his, who wrestled in ECW and still wrestles today. Cue Rob Van Dam to chase Perry off, with Perry hiding behind a young girl. Was there anyone else who could have stood up for ECW and been something of a big deal?

Video on the Women’s Title match with Hikaru Shida challenging Toni Storm.

Trent Beretta vs. Jon Moxley vs. Penta El Cero Miedo

The introduction make it clear that this is anything goes. Trent and Penta hit dives to start but Moxley is back up and grabs the 2×4 with nails. Penta ducks a swing and Backstabs Moxley, only to get a trashcan lid kneed into his face. Moxley piledrives Trent but Penta is right back to take Trent outside. Some tables are set up at ringside and the already bleeding Trent superplexes Moxley through them as we take a break.

Back with Penta hitting a super Canadian Destroyer to drive Trent through a table, followed by Moxley spearing Penta through a table in the corner. Moxley gets the thumbtacks and opens Penta’s shirt, setting up a piledriver into the tacks for two. Trent, for some reasons not in an ambulance, is up with the Crunchy to Moxley into the tacks but Penta makes the save. Moxley Paradigm Shifts Penta but Trent hits the running knee to steal the pin at 12:21.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. You knew you were going to see some kind of violent match on here whether it made sense for the story or not and they even had one of the fan favorites get a pin on a milestone show. The Canadian Destroyer through the table not knocking Trent out of the match was nonsense but that ship has long since sailed. I still can’t stand this kind of stuff, and they really didn’t need the weapons and violence.

Post match Moxley chokes Trent out and the Blackpool Combat Club comes out to help. Cue Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor to cut them off and clear the ring, with Taylor issuing the challenge for a parking lot fight on Rampage.

Rob Van Dam challenges Jack Perry for the FTW Title next week. When Van Dam wins the title, he’ll just retire the thing.

Here is MJF to talk about having ADD, but also a condition that makes it difficult for him to accept rejection. One day when he was a kid, some people threw quarters at him and said “pick it up, Jew boy, pick it up.” It made him believe that he had to stab everyone in the back before he did it to them, but that’s no way to live.

It’s tough for him to trust people, but he’s not scared anymore because of all these people. These people have sympathy for the devil, even if he’s still a scumbag. But dang it he’s ready to be YOUR scumbag. He also has to thank Adam Cole, so here is Cole to see MJF face to face.

Cole says MJF is not alone and knows that there is a good guy down in there. The people here are proud of him, which has MJF thanking him for the kind words. That brings MJF to the promised title match, which Cole doesn’t deserve. That’s because Cole deserves THE match in the main event of the biggest show AEW has ever seen, in the main event of All In. Cole signs the contract (fans: “READ IT!”) without reading it and they hug. MJF has told that story before but it still has impact. Other than that, they’re building towards someone turning and it’s going to be a big moment when it happens.

Roderick Strong breaks a bunch of stuff in the back but here is the Kingdom to say they Cole is forgetting his real friends.

Elite vs. Jeff Jarrett/Satnam Singh/Jay Lethal

Brandon Cutler, Sonjay Dutt and Karen Jarrett are here too. Jeff slams Omega down to start but Matt comes in to take over. That brings in Singh, with Omega and Nick immediately backing away. Singh shrugs off some dropkicks and crossbodies both of the Bucks, meaning the villains get to most the Elite’s pose.

We take a break and come back with Nick getting over to bring Omega back in for the pace to pick up. You Can’t Escape is broken up by Singh, allowing Lethal to get his knees up on the moonsault. The Bucks kick Singh down the though and Omega adds the V Trigger to put him completely down. Dutt has to break up the One Winged Angel and Karen offers a distraction. That earns her a cold spray from Cutler as the Hardys come out to beat up the villains as well. Cue Hangman Page to jump Jarrett with the Buckshot Lariat, meaning (after an Omega guitar solo) the One Winged Angel can finish Lethal at 8:58.

Rating: B-. Much like some of the other stuff on this show, they absolutely had to get the Elite on here somehow and putting them in a fun match like this one was the way to go. They were the centerpiece of the company for a long time and getting them on a show like this, even in a match where they weren’t going to be in serious trouble, was a requirement.

Post match Page announces that the Elite have re-signed with AEW. Omega says you’ll be seeing more of them everywhere, including Collision. We get the old goodnight and goodbye catchphrase to wrap it up. That’s a nice little flashback.

The Mogul Embassy (Swerve Strickland/AR Fox in this case) is happy with beating up Darby Allin and we see them going to Nick Wayne’s gym (which is in a garage). Wayne and some students get beaten up and Swerve breaks something made of glass over Wayne’s head. Swerve puts down a photo of Wayne and his father, before calling Darby Allin to show the bloody Wayne. It’s that easy to make a phone call, so why didn’t Allin call AR Fox when he got to AEW? The beating continues to wrap up one heck of a segment. This felt like Swerve and Fox getting to show what they can do and it was really effective.

Ring Of Honor Tag Team Titles: Aussie Open vs. Komander/El Hijo del Vikingo

The Aussies are defending. Fletcher and Vikingo start things off with the latter avoiding a charge in the corner. Vikingo’s springboard crossbody takes Fletcher down so it’s off to Davis, who gets superkicked outside. We settle back down to Fletcher clotheslining Komander, who is right back up with the chops in the corner. Komander’s springboard is broken up so it’s of to Vikingo instead. The champs are sent outside but they are fine enough to cut off the stereo dives as we take a break.

Back with Vikingo getting caught with a flipping Iconoclasm for two, leaving Fletcher frustrated. Vikingo is put in a fireman’s carry but Komander tags himself in, jumps on Vikingo’s back, and hits a Canadian Destroyer. The challengers walk the ropes at the same time for stereo moonsaults, setting up stereo 450s for two on Davis. Vikingo is taken down though and the rope walk shooting star press misses for Komander. The double clothesline sets up Coriolis to retain the titles at 9:57.

Rating: C+. There was some nice stuff in here with the Aussies using their power offense to hold off the rather flashy high fliers. I’d like to believe that this is just a one off as I really do not need the Ring Of Honor titles on the show again, but at least they had an entertaining match and didn’t go too long. It’s also always nice to see Vikingo, as some of that stuff he does is hard to fathom.

Video on Ricky Starks vs. CM Punk on Collision.

Women’s Title: Hikaru Shida vs. Toni Storm

Shida is challenging and Storm has the rest of the Outcasts with her. Shida starts fast and knocks Storm to the floor, followed by some right hands back inside. They go outside again and this time Storm takes over, only for Shida to head back inside and suplex her into the corner. Storm gets in a shot of her own and adds the running hip attack to knock Shida outside again. The Outcasts get in some stomping and we take a break.

Back with Shida hitting an enziguri into a German suplex but Storm pulls her off the top. The hip attack in the corner and a DDT get two on Shida (which would not be stealing it, despite what Excalibur says). They strike it out until Shida knees her in the face and hits a Falcon Arrow for two. Saraya throws in the kendo stick but Shida takes it away and takes out the other two. Storm uses the distraction to hit the spray paint into the Storm Zero for two more. Shida is right back with a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:16.

Rating: B. And there’s your big moment to make the show feel special. Storm hadn’t exactly been doing anything as champion and wont he title from an injured Jamie Hayter. The story coming into this was that Shida deserved to have a title run in front of people rather than empty chairs and that is exactly what she is going to get. Good match here, with Shida getting a nice moment to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: B. I kept saying that they had to get this and that in, but they managed to cover everything and had a heck of a show as a result. This was a nice look back at Dynamite’s history, while also giving a feel good moment at the end and also setting up something for All In. That’s a heck of a way to spend two hours and I smiled more than I have in a good while with an AEW show.

Results
Chris Jericho/Konosuke Takeshita b. Sammy Guevara/Daniel Garcia – Baseball bat shot to Garcia
Trent b. Jon Moxley and Penta El Cero Miedo – Paradigm Shit to Penta
Elite b. Jeff Jarrett/Satnam Singh/Jay Lethal – One Winged Angel to Lethal
Aussie Open b. Komander/El Hijo del Vikingo – Coriolis to Komander
Hikaru Shida b. Toni Storm – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.