Monday Night Raw – February 14, 2022: The Same Problem Every Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2022
Location: Gainbridge Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jimmy Smith Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and that means it’s time for a lot of talking about the matches that have already been made for Saturday’s show. It also means that we are in for another limited commercial show, because if there is one thing WWE needs, it is more content. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video now has a voiceover saying “FOREVER. TOGETHER.”

Here is Bobby Lashley with MVP to get things going. Lashley talks about having to go through the Elimination Chamber to get to WrestleMania as WWE Champion. The Chamber has shortened careers and impacted lives….but so has he. MVP says there is 16% chance of Lashley retaining the title, but when you add in the Almighty Quotient, it is about 100%.

Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt, saying that Lashley looks great, but not as great as he does. Rollins talks about how Lashley is champion right now but he knows someone who can take the title. MVP threatens Rollins with Lashley violence but here is Riddle, in a toga, to interrupt. Riddle thinks the Elimination Chamber is like last week’s quiz bowl (Rollins isn’t sure) because he remembers being locked in a gas station bathroom. When the security guard let him out, Riddle knew he could do anything. Imagine him as the WWE Champion to go with his Tag Team Titles when he and Randy Orton win them back soon.

Riddle invites the two of them to the toga party but here is Austin Theory to interrupt. Vince McMahon has taught him so many things that he can use on Saturday that he has to win. Cue AJ Styles to say he has to win because he needs a defining Wrestlemania moment. Maybe he could walk in as the US Champion (which he can become tonight) and WWE Champion! Riddle says that would be cool, but not as cool as AJ coming to the RKBroga party!

Lashley says he’s the only one who has won an Elimination Chamber and runs down everyone else’s chances. That includes Brock Lesnar, who comes out to interrupt, tips his cowboy hat, and takes his time getting into the ring. Brock takes off the jacket and hat, and puts them on Theory. Lesnar and Lashley go face to face so Theory jumps….well over Lesnar actually. Suplex City ensues as everyone else leaves. Lesnar gets his hat back and uses Theory’s phone for a quick selfie. To be fair, the hat really works for him. This was the latest revolving door segment and as usual, it only kind of succeeded.

The Street Profits run down tonight’s card.

Street Profits vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

We see a clip of Dolph Ziggler coming to NXT and getting in a fight with Tommaso Ciampa. As a result, Ciampa is here on commentary. Ford dropkicks Ziggler at the bell so it’s off to Roode for a swinging Rock Bottom. Ziggler is back in for a shot to the face and his own two but Ford’s kick to the head allows the double (jumping) tags. Dawkins cleans house until Roode catches him with a powerslam for two. Hold on though as Ciampa needs to get up and applaud Ziggler. The threat of a superkick makes Ciampa throw water in Ziggler’s face, leaving Dawkins to Anoint Ziggler. Ford’s frog splash is good for the pin at 2:44.

Post match Ziggler superkicks Ciampa but bails from the Street Profits going after him.

We look back at RKBro winning the Quiz Bowl last week.

We go to the RKBroga party, where Riddle wants to know where Randy Orton is. Queen Zelina thinks it’s for her but Riddle starts a BROGA chant.

Randy Orton is in another locker room and seems to find this dumb. He also wants to be ready for his match against Seth Rollins, because Rollins is always planning things. This is Monday, so Rollins is going to take the RKO.

Rocky Johnson Black History Month video.

We look at Kevin Owens not being able to get into the Elimination Chamber, which hurts him even more because he can’t be WWE Champion in Texas.

According to a fan poll, Owens is LYING about his love of Texas.

Kevin Owens is sad that he can’t be in the Elimination Chamber, but at least that means he doesn’t have to be in the Elimination Chamber in Texas. He can’t stand Texas, just like he can’t stand Indianapolis. Owens is from the intelligent and sophisticated Canada.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

Priest is defending and takes Styles down by the arm to start. A quick slam gives Priest two and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Styles’ back. Styles fights up but the Styles Clash is countered into a flapjack. Something like a Dominator gives Priest two but Styles comes right back with a Pele kick. That’s enough to send them outside, where Priest spinwheel kicks Styles’ leg out in a clever knockdown. Back in and Styles kicks him in the face and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Priest grab the ropes. That’s enough to let Priest grab a rollup for the pin to retain at 4:34.

Rating: C+. That was better and I was surprised by the result. Priest needed a win to put him back on the right path and a clean pin over Styles is a good way to get there. The good thing is that Styles can absorb a loss where he gets caught like that a good bit more than Priest, who had been on a pretty nasty run as of late. Now just let him be a monster again and we might be getting somewhere.

Post match, Styles nods at him in respect and shakes Priest’s hand.

We go back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where she is looking a bit more normal, with her hair down and in more regular clothing (though I’m not sure where it would be regular). The therapist says, aside from the incident in the grocery store, last week was good. It was so good, that she has earned a gift. What would she like it to be? Actually she would like the music to stop, but he has something else in mind: Lilly’s unstuffed body, and the stuffing to go with it! She gets a bit shaky but the therapist pulls out a backup, and still constructed, Lilly doll.

Omos vs. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin

Alexander tries to sneak up on Omos but gets claw shoved into the corner. Shelton comes in and gets beaten down as well, leaving Alexander to get chokeslammed for the pin at 1:34. Total dominance.

We look back at Dana Brooke turning down Reggie’s unspoken offer of romance.

Reggie and Dana Brooke are having a platonic Valentine’s Day dinner but Tamina and Akira Tozawa, in disguise, are here too.

It’s back to the RKBroga party, where Riddle gives Kevin Patrick a pep talk when the Street Profits show up. That means Angelo Dawkins gets to dominate at beer pong, earning himself some cheers.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing between Becky Lynch and Lita. After Lita comes to the ring, Becky comes out looking depressed, with much less gaudy clothes than usual and sunglasses on, though she can barely look ahead. Becky sits down and says Lita doesn’t have to do this. She hasn’t slept all week as she can’t imagine doing this against her teenage idol.

Lita asks the fans if she should tear up the contract or sign it and shut Becky up. She isn’t back for one more match but one more run. That’s one more championship run, and the match is happening if Becky wants it to or not. Lita signs, which makes Becky say Lita is pushing her.

Becky gets more serious and says she will do everything to keep the title on her shoulder. Now Lynch signs, so Lita says that it is on her to finish it. The only thing that is ending on Sunday though is the 500 day title reign (not quite) when Lita wins the title. Becky puts her glasses back on and leaves all sad. This was kind of weird and didn’t exactly work, but at least they tried something different.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Gauntlet Match

The winner gets to enter the Elimination Chamber last with Rhea Ripley in at #1 and Nikki Ash is in at #2. We’re joined in progress with Nikki tying her in the ring skirt to hammer away before going with the armbar. Ripley fights up but gets taken right back down into a cravate, which doesn’t do much good. With that broken up, Rhea hits some clotheslines but the Riptide is countered as well. Ash goes up but her crossbody is countered into…something where Ripley drops her. Not that it matters as Riptide finishes Nikki at 4:17.

Liv Morgan is in at #3 (now in much brighter gear) and we hear her talk about how she has been in the Chamber again. She’ll survive again though, just like she always does. We take another break and come back with some rollups getting two each before Morgan hits a running elbow in the corner. The chinlock goes on but Rhea fights up, only to get caught in a hurricanrana faceplant. Back up and Ripley grabs the Prism Trap, sending Ripley away for the escape. A superkick sets up Riptide to get rid of Morgan at 14:04.

Doudrop is #4 and they start by shoving each other a bit. Ripley has to power her way out of a headlock and an exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere. An exchange of headbutts sets up a belly to back suplex to drop Ripley and Doudrop splashes her for two. Ripley is back up and hits a dropkick to put Doudrop down but the standing clothes just wake Doudrop up. Riptide is blocked and Doudrop headbutts her, only to get kicked in the head. A pretty fast Riptide gets rid of Doudrop at 23:48 and Bianca Belair is in at #5.

Back with Ripley in trouble but Belair goes to the apron for her kiss it deal. After backflipping over Ripley, Belair hits a delayed vertical suplex (with some high steps) for two. The abdominal stretch goes on for a good while before Belair hits the handspring moonsault for two more. Belair knocks her outside but gets sent into the steps to put both of them down and we take another break.

Back again with Belair faceplanting her for two but Ripley is right back with a failed Riptide attempt. Belair puts her on top for a slugout with Belair getting the better of things. Another handspring moonsault only hits knees though and Ripley goes up top for a heck of a missile dropkick for two more. The Prism Trap goes on again but Belair rolls out and hits a spinebuster. The KOD finishes Ripley at 40:34…and I guess we’ll find out who is entering the Chamber last on Saturday because that’s it.

Rating: B-. This was a match that got a lot of time and that is a good thing, as sometimes a very long wrestling match is the best thing for a show. Ripley gets to look like a star and while I don’t imagine her having the best chance on Saturday, it was good to see her getting some significant ring time for a change. Belair winning is a perfectly fine way to go, though I was kind of expecting to see the sixth entrant return here. Anyway, good, long match here and that often helps.

Respect is shown post match.

Back at the RKBroga Party, Riddle plays the guitar and sings until the Alpha Academy jumps him from behind. Riddle is left laying, with Chad Gable saying the party is over, bro.

We go back to the restaurant, where R-Truth and company chase after Dana Brooke (with the referee getting some food samples), who hides with Reggie. Dana is rather happy but Reggie wants to take their friendship to the next level. She politely turns him down again, so Reggie rolls her up to win the title. After Reggie and then the regular selection of nitwits mock Brooke, the waiter asks if that will be cash or card. At least the story seems to have ended, for now.

Mysterios vs. Alpha Academy

Non-title. Hold on though, as Chad Gable has to insult the crowd by putting them on double secret probation, even if they are probably already on some kind of probation. Then you have these same people helping RKBro win the Academic Challenge, LIKE IT WAS FAIR! Why were we talking about Michelangelo the turtle instead of the painter? Then there is Dominik, who had to cheat to beat Miz last week. Cue Miz and Maryse for commentary and we take a break before the bell.

We come back joined in progress with Otis splashing Rey, setting up Gable’s suplex for two. Rey fights up without much trouble and hands it off to Dominik for some suplexes and the Eddie Guerrero dance. Gable cuts him off with a tiger suplex for two as Rey makes the save. The Academy is sent outside and we take a break.

Back again with Dominik diving over to make the hot tag to Rey, who headscissors Chad down. Otis has to make a save so Dominik breaks that up, leaving Gable to take a double 619. Rey dives onto Miz at ringside so Dominik goes up for a high crossbody, only to have Gable roll through and grab the tights for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: C. Not too shabby of a tag match here, but the stalling before the match felt like they were trying to fill in time rather than having anything to say. At the same time, the Mysterios continue to be a tale of two wrestlers, as Rey feels fun even in his late 40s and Dominik is just there. Find something new for him, because this isn’t exactly interesting.

Post match Miz throws Dominik outside and gives Rey the Skull Crushing Finale.

Back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where the therapist tells her she can go. Bliss even has the replica Lilly doll, which she knows isn’t the real thing. He tells her to always have it by her side and she can have a good life. Before she leaves, she tells Lilly she’s cured and then announces that she’s the final entrant in the Elimination Chamber.

Smackdown Breakdown.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Of note: Rollins made his way to the ring, then there was a break, then there was Smackdown Breakdown and the Chamber rundown, or over six and a half minutes ago. We then take ANOTHER break after Orton’s entrance and ring the bell about ten minutes after Rollins made it to the ring in the first place.

We finally get going with Orton taking him into the corner and hammering away, only to get dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. The Stomp misses though and Orton clotheslines him to the floor. Even commentary knows what’s coming and they are absolutely right as Rollins is dropped onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Orton’s hanging DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor, setting up Rollins’ knee off the apron.

A suicide dive sends Orton over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back again with Orton hitting the top rope superplex for a double knockdown. Orton is fine enough to hit the powerslam for two but Rollins is back with a low superkick for two of his own. The Stomp misses and Orton backdrops the Pedigree attempt to the apron. Now the hanging DDT can connect and the RKO connects….as Alpha Academy runs down. Riddle cuts them off but the distraction is enough for Rollins to hit the Stomp for the pin at 15:17.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match between two people who have wrestled each other so many times that they could probably do this in their sleep. The match was mainly about advancing the Tag Team Title feud and I’ll take that over either of them getting a clean pin. Nothing we haven’t seen before, but they know how to do this very well.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was a fine example of what is wrong with Raw most of the time: it doesn’t feel like they have enough material to fill in a three hour show. I’m not sure how many rosters could ever do that on a full time basis, but it’s even harder when the roster has been gutted like this one. They didn’t exactly make me want to see Elimination Chamber, but the show was already set coming into this week. Even after Saturday though, they really need to find something to fill in the time around here, because all the stalling isn’t doing them any favors.

Results
Street Profits b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Ziggler
Damian Priest b. AJ Styles – Rollup
Omos b. Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander – Chokeslam to Alexander
Bianca Belair won a gauntlet match last eliminating Rhea Ripley
Alpha Academy b. Mysterio – Rollup with tights to Dominik
Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton – Stomp

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 10, 2007: The Reveal

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2007
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the big reveal as this week will see the reveal of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. This is the kind of story that feels like it should be a huge moment, with Mr. Kennedy feeling like the likely surprise, but that pesky steroids suspension seems to be throwing a wrench into the plans. That should open up a new door too, so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting fast because here is Vince McMahon, with Coach, to get things going. Vince recaps the story, saying that he has an illegitimate son and that he is a “WWO” (Vince: “Let me try that again.”) superstar. Vince blames the mother for causing all of these problems before informing the fans that Coach DOES NOT suck. The only thing that makes Vince feel better is that his son isn’t from Green Bay, like Mr. Kennedy, who is on the current WWE Magazine. Vince happens to have a copy, which he has Coach rip up.

Enough of that though, as Vince wants to know who his son is, which brings out Great Khali. Runjin Singh translates for Great Khali, who said that “things are looking up” must mean him and he would be proud to be called The Great McMahon. Cue JBL to interrupt to talk about how he and Vince both love money. JBL: “Put Big Gulp on a leash.” Even in this market, he can guarantee and things are looking up. Vince owns wrestling and JBL is a wrestling god. They even go to the same barber!

He would love to be John Bradshaw McMahon but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt this time. Coach: “What are you doing out here?” Jeff: “I’m not really sure.” Jeff thinks “things are looking up” might mean him diving off the ladder, but he certainly hopes he isn’t the son. JBL yells about Hardy and Khali’s hair, but here is Mr. Johnson, the son’s mother’s lawyer.

Vince goes into a rant about how much he hates attorneys before being told his son will be revealed at some point tonight. For now, the only thing Johnson will reveal is that Vince’s son is NOT Jeff Hardy. Jeff: “PRAISE THE LORD YEAH!” That celebration earns Jeff a singles match with Great Khali later tonight.

We see some photos of the South African tour, including Paul London and Brian Kendrick winning the Tag Team Titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, only to lose them back three days later.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade

Brian Kendrick and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Cade headlocks him down to start so London pops up with a hurricanrana. A belly to back suplex drops London right back down and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either as London is up with a springboard missile dropkick. Murdoch tries to offer a distraction….but it lets Kendrick come in for Sliced Bread. London adds the running shooting star press for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and it was a way to bridge the feud to Sunday. I like the title switches on the tour as it gave this feud a bit of life, as otherwise it was just London and Kendrick getting another title shot. You can only get so far when there is no chance of a title switch and now they gave the thing a bit more interest.

We recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s dad two weeks ago, sending Cena over the edge with an attack on William Regal last week. As a result, Cena is barred from the building this week.

Coach tells Vince McMahon that William Regal is doing better but has a lot of recovering to do. As a result, Coach has banned John Cena from the building tonight, which Vince doesn’t like. Coach has another idea though, as he brings in the man who the fans have voted as the second most likely star to be Vince’s son: Stevie Richards! Vince cracks up laughing and sends Stevie away before asking Coach who was #1 in the audience vote. That would be HHH, which doesn’t sit well with Vince.

We look back at HHH beating up Carlito and REALLY beating up Umaga.

Carlito is ready to destroy HHH on Sunday at Unforgiven. As for tonight, Carlito is full of surprises.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito is at ringside. HHH wins an early slugout and sends him shoulder first into the post. It works so well that HHH does it again before throwing Shelton into Carlito. We take a break and come back with HHH fighting out of a chinlock but getting DDTed for two. The chinlock goes on again so HHH fights up again, only to get caught with the spinning clothesline from the top. HHH’s standing clothesline connects to put both of them down for a breather. Back up and HHH hits a spinebuster, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more like the old school Benjamin and that is a very good thing to see. It’s great to have him showing off his offense and he looked like his old self here. That being said, he was little more than cannon fodder for HHH, which isn’t a big surprise. Nice match here, as HHH continues to get back to normal.

Post match Carlito goes after HHH but gets cut off. Cue Coach to say Vince McMahon is sick of HHH being disrespectful. Therefore, Carlito vs. HHH at Unforgiven is now No DQ….for Carlito only.

A car arrives and since it isn’t John Cena’s, he can roll right in.

Here is Randy Orton, with security, for a chat. Orton knows John Cena is watching at home, maybe with his dad. If that is the case, he needs to turn the volume down because his dad’s head must be throbbing. This Sunday at Unforgiven, it is one year since Cena won the WWE Title. Orton is in Cena’s head though and he is going to use that opening to take Cena down. Cue Cena through the crowd to get his hands on Orton but security holds him back so Orton can escape.

In the back, Vince McMahon yells at Coach for not keeping Cena out. Cue security, who still can’t hold Cena back. Cena gets in Vince’s face and says, as a man, that he knows what is happening to Orton at Unforgiven. Orton is going to feel pain and vengeance in his bones for Cena’s father. That is something even Vince can understand, and with that, Cena leaves.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Mickie flips out of an early snapmare attempt but gets whipped into the corner. That means a handspring elbow connects to give Jillian two as Candice talks about facing Beth Phoenix. Jillian pulls her down hard out of the corner and seems to rub Mickie’s face into her chest. Apparently it wakes Mickie up enough to kick Jillian in the head for the pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take both of them out so Candice runs in for the failed save attempt.

Sandman vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Santino mourns the loss of Luciano Pavarotti, but at least he passed away before he had to see Steve Austin in the Condemned. Santino doesn’t understand this lack of culture but Sandman’s entrance cuts him off. Once Sandman gets rid of the kendo stick, Santino starts pounding him down and goes after the leg. A splash hits raised knees though and Sandman knocks him outside. That means a big dive (there’s a surprise) from Sandman but Marella uses the kendo stick for the DQ.

Post match Santino tries to break the stick over his own knee but hurts himself. Sandman gets the cage to chase him off.

Post break Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about Santino being so different lately. She thinks they might need to split up but here is Santino to jump Simmons. Santino even does Simmons’ catchphrase, which should signal his doom.

The Diva Search is coming back. Great. We get the first look at the finalists, including Eve Torres, Taryn Terrell and Lena Yada.

Unforgiven rundown.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Khali throws him into the corner to start for the elbow to the face. The Whisper in the Wind is knocked away and Khali hits a big boot. The Vice Grip finishes Hardy in a hurry. Your Intercontinental Champion everyone.

Post match here is Batista to spear Khali down without much effort.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for the big reveal, with the male roster surrounding the ring as well. HHH comes out last and Vince isn’t exactly pleased. Vince knows that one of these men is his son and wants to know who gets to be a McMahon. He wants to know who it is right now but here is Mr. Johnson on the Titantron. In accordance with his client’s wishes, he is going to eliminate some of the possible names.

First up, the son is not extreme, meaning ECW is out. Vince: “Thank God it’s not Balls Mahoney.” The son also has a fondness for gold, meaning he is a current or former champion. Next up is that the son’s skin is fair, which Vince (rather rapidly) points out means he is Caucasian. Vince has everyone left get in the ring, as he is told that the son’s hair is fair as well.

That leaves us with Sandman, JBL, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch and HHH, though the fans want Kennedy (not here). Vince shoots that down before giving us the next clue: “Individual.” That takes Vince some time to figure out but it means he isn’t a tag wrestler. The final clue: the son loves to play the game.

That seems to leave HHH, who isn’t happy either. Vince says this isn’t right, with Johnson agreeing. The son loves to play games, such as hide and seek or marbles….because it’s HORNSWOGGLE! HHH nearly falls over in laughter as Hornswoggle pops out, grabs Vince’s leg, and puts his hat on Vince’s head to end the show.

So there’s your big reveal. After several weeks, we get Hornswoggle as the big gag blowoff, which was disappointing back in the day and it’s disappointing now. This time it isn’t WWE’s fault as the Kennedy suspension blew up what could have been a career making story, but ultimately there is only so much that can be done when the key player is gone. Hornswoggle was a bit funny and there is some good comedy potential, but it feels like it could have been so much more.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ALL about the big angle at the end, with the wrestling being a complete afterthought. That made for a weird show, as Unforgiven took a backseat as well, leaving the pay per view without much of a final push and the big story with a pretty lame resolution. Again, it isn’t WWE’s fault this time, but it is still pretty disappointing.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 3, 2007: Then They Go Away

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2007
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re actually taped this week as WWE is on its way to an international tour next week. Unforgiven is coming up later this month and we need a card, but there are going to be a few people missing. Late last week, a group of wrestlers were suspended for thirty days over connections with Signature Pharmacy, which had been linked to performance enhancing drugs.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As a result, after this week, Charlie Haas, Edge, Gregory Helms, John Morrison, William Regal, Ken Kennedy, Umaga, Sho Funaki, Chris Masters, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are going to be gone until next month. Booker T. was so adamant that he didn’t do anything that he gave notice and is gone. Eugene is gone as well, after not having a prescription for painkillers. In an unrelated note, Cryme Tyme is gone as well, albeit over issues with Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch and yelling at a referee. Things could be rather different for the next few weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton attacking a variety of people, including John Cena’s dad to end last week’s show. In case it wasn’t clear in the first place, of course you know this means war.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and punches Hardy down to start fast. A kick to the face and a headbutt both drop Hardy again and there’s a chest first whip into the corner. Umaga superkicks him off the apron and we take a break. Back with Umaga grabbing the nerve hold and then nailing a Samoan drop.

The middle rope headbutt misses though and Hardy gets a much needed breather. Hardy forearms away and gets two off a baseball slide dropkick. The Whisper in the Wind gets two but Umaga is back with the swinging Rock Bottom for two of his own. Umaga goes up top but Hardy crotches him down….and gets the very fast pin for the title. Even Hardy is stunned as Umaga kicks him off and out to the floor.

Rating: C. Most of this match was a house show fight until the shock ending. They did a good job of making this feel like a squash until the underdog won off a fluke, giving it almost a Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna Wrestlemania X vibe. Umaga feels like he got caught slipping on a banana peel instead of taking a defeat, which lets him come back as a monster in a month. Hardy getting the title is always a fine way to go though and this was about as logical of a way out as they had.

Post match, Umaga breaks a lot of stuff.

Vince McMahon has a bunch of attorneys with him to deal with his families’ attorneys. Carlito, with a slightly less stupid looking (though still stupid looking) haircut, comes in and gets his singles match with HHH turned into a handicap match with Umaga on his side.

Maria is a bit worried about her match with Beth Phoenix, as set up by Santino Marella. Santino tells her not to worry, because he has something to get off his chest. Oh and he’ll protect her too. Maria doesn’t seem convinced.

William Regal tells a production assistant to send John Cena to him when Cena arrives. Melina pops up and whispers something to Regal about her, ahem, meeting with Vince McMahon. Regal calls her kinky and says she should be ashamed of herself. Stephanie and Linda McMahon show up to glare at Melina. Linda gets in a slap in slow motion and here is Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as first, Santino Marella says that he is going to beat up Ron Simmons as soon as his arm is better. He also calls the city a disgusting dump, but here is Sandman to interrupt. Santino says Sandman is jealous because Santino gets to make love to Maria, while Sandman only has his stick. Sandman canes him in the head and they go up the ramp, leaving Maria alone. This is completely edited off Peacock for whatever reason. As for the match, Beth throws Maria around with no trouble and finishes with a cradle suplex in less than a minute.

Post match, Beth says she is getting her Women’s Title shot at Unforgiven. Candice Michelle has never seen anything like her before and she beats up Maria again for a preview. Cue Candice for the save.

We see the aftermath of Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s father, including a nasty black eye.

Here is William Regal to recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s last week. As a result, Regal has given Orton the night off, but Orton is here via satellite. Orton makes it clear: Cena did this to himself and his father’s blood is on his hands. All Cena had to do was give Orton his rematch for the WWE Title, so does Cena want it now? Want it or not, Regal makes the match for Unforgiven.

Orton hopes Cena’s dad never forgives his son but here is Cena to no music. Cena comes to the ring and promptly beats the daylights out of Regal, including knocking him over the announcers’ table and putting him in the STFU. Referees finally make a late save but Regal is done.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot against Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch, on commentary, at Unforgiven. Kendrick and Haas start things off with Kendrick being in trouble on the technical side. A wristlock works a bit better and it’s London coming in to stay on Haas’ arm. Benjamin comes in for a gorilla press gutbuster to take over on London though and we hit the neck crank. Back up and London rams heads with Haas, allowing the crawling tag over to Kendrick. The fans get into things as Kendrick hits back to back dives on Haas and Benjamin. With Benjamin and London on the floor, Sliced Bread gives Kendrick the fast pin.

Rating: C+. London and Kendrick are valuable people to have on the roster as they can have a good match with anyone while getting the fans behind them. That should set them up as good #1 contenders and the match should be good enough. Haas and Benjamin continue to be fine opponents for anyone, as the tag division is starting to grow again. That being said, I do wonder if London and Kendrick were supposed to be Cryme Tyme.

Post match Cade and Murdoch get in the ring for what seems like some false sportsmanship.

William Regal is in an ambulance as Shane McMahon walks by.

Video on CM Punk, who is challenging for the ECW World Title tomorrow night.

Carlito tries to fire up Umaga by telling him that HHH was laughing at him for losing the Intercontinental Title.

Vince McMahon meets with his lawyers and asks about his money being secure. After seemingly making Coach GM in place of the injured William Regal, Vince fires a lawyer for suggesting he use a defensive strategy.

Here are Jillian Hall and Daivari, with the former saying she isn’t supposed to sing due having her wisdom teeth cut out but she’ll do it anyway! We get some Summer Lovin before it’s time for a tag match. This is also missing from Peacock.

Cody Rhodes/Mickie James vs. Daivari/Jillian Hall

The women start things off, with Jillian telling Mickie to avoid the teeth. Instead Mickie kicks her in the ribs and then in the face so it’s off to the men. Cody armdrags Daivari down into a few armbars but has to fight out of a chinlock. Daivari drops some elbows for two instead and the chinlock goes right back on. That’s broken up as well so Cody puts on a spinning toehold. Jillian tries a save but Mickie cuts her off, leaving Cody to hit a DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case since Cody’s push began, it isn’t about the match itself but rather Cody getting to establish himself. The good thing is that they have mixed it up a little bit, as he may be beating Daivari over and over, at least they are having it in different forms. It isn’t a huge push, but they’re going about it in a smart way.

Carlito/Umaga vs. HHH

Carlito throws the lefts at HHH to start but gets punched down for his efforts. HHH throws him down by the hair and then goes for Umaga but Carlito comes back in. Some double teaming is enough for the quick DQ.

Post match the big beatdown is on but Carlito grabs a chair, which HHH takes away and wrecks both of them (including several shots to Umaga’s head). The sledgehammer is brought in and HHH blasts Umaga in the head to bust him open. A big sledgehammer shot to the back of the head knocks Umaga cold and I’d assume it’ll take about thirty days for him to recover.

Unforgiven rundown.

Here are Vince McMahon and his attorneys to deal with the rest of the family. Vince knows this whole thing is about the money and everyone here wants a handout. Cue Linda McMahon, sans attorneys, to say she is the CEO of WWE so she has her own money. Thanks to Coach bringing all of those women out here to explain that Vince has had so many affairs, she can take him for everything he has. Vince tries to calm things down but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

Vince knows she’s the volatile one but they’ve had some great times together. He has a video for her looking at A Father’s Love (this could go so many different ways from Vince), which is him pummeling Linda and Stephanie over the years. Vince panics because it’s the wrong video, but HHH pops up on screen. HHH swears he had NOTHING to do with that. HHH: “Hi Steph.” That gets a smile from Stephanie, who thinks Vince should step down from his position as Chairman of the Board.

Now it’s Shane McMahon coming out to ask if he’s talking to Vince McMahon his father, or an arm swinging, death faking, egomaniacal lunatic. Shane thinks Vince needs to change in some way because this could all work out. Shane: “I always wanted a brother!” That gets a glare from Stephanie, but Vince says he never had any affairs. He was saying all of those things to make himself feel better and he only cheated on Linda ONE TIME. That was the woman who gave birth to the illegitimate son and Vince feels terrible about it. He gets on his knee to apologize but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt.

Kennedy says there are a lot of coincidences between himself and Vince and it just so happens that the son will be revealed next week in his hometown of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Kennedy flat out says he is Vince’s son, which Stephanie doesn’t buy. Hold on though, as Kennedy credits Vince for turning him into a WWE Superstar and then says his name loudly, with the MCMAHON at the end.

Vince hugs him, but here is a guy in a suit to say that he represents the mother of Vince’s illegitimate son. It is NOT Mr. Kennedy (darn that stupid pharmacy), but he does have a clue as to the son’s identity: Things Are Looking Up. Vince wants to know what that means to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a really weird show as the biggest issue came from having to deal with having to wrap up so many people all at once. The Kennedy deal was the big one, as not only is he gone, but now he has lost the spot in what was probably the biggest angle of his career. The rest of the show wasn’t very good either, but I would wonder how many things had to be changed late because of all of the suspensions. Not a good show, though there were some rather unique circumstances.

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 7, 2022: The Word Bleh Comes To Mind

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2022
Location: Ball Arena, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Jim Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We have less than two weeks to go before Elimination Chamber and a lot of the big matches are set. Since this is Raw, we have two Elimination Chamber matches set up, plus Becky Lynch vs. Lita, as Smackdown doesn’t seem all that important this month. Tonight is a special show since we are on SyFy due to the Winter Olympics, so we have NO COMMERCIALS in the first hour. I’m thrilled too. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open big with the final round of the Academic Challenge between RKBro and the Alpha Academy. This time around, it’s a Quiz Bowl competition and after looking at the spelling bee/scooter race being split, we’re ready to go. Chad Gable explains the rules: it’s one point per question and if you get it wrong, the other team gets to steal. One point per answer, first to give points wins.

Alpha Academy gets the history question (who was the first President with a college degree) right but Riddle evens it up in biology (how many hearts does an octopus have). They trade Greek Mythology (who flew too close to the sun) and Cartoons (which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle used nunchucks) and it’s tied at two. Otis knows that Texas is the biggest of the 48 continental states but Riddle doesn’t know whose father-in-law Justin Bieber is. Randy guesses Alec Baldwin (of the four Baldwin choices) and gets it wrong, only for Gable to steal the point (with Stephen Baldwin) and goes up 4-2.

Film And Literature doesn’t go so well as Gable thinks Romeo and Juliet has been made into more films than Hamlet. Riddle knows it though and it’s 4-3. Orton picks Sports and gets a question about the Denver Broncos, which the fans help him get right. With the score tied at 4-4, Gable insults the fans and gets the final category of Metric Conversions. Gable doesn’t know how many grams are in an ounce, but Orton gets it right for the win. Gable goes into a huge rant and keeps getting buzzed. Cue the Street Profits to say Alpha Academy owes RKBro a title shot, but Gable wants a match right now.

Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits

Non-title. Ford strikes away at Gable to start and everything breaks down early on. Gable kicks Ford out to the apron for a breather and it’s Otis coming in to slow it down a bit. The big splash crushes Ford and it’s off to the neck crank to make it worse. A running splash in the corner connects but Ford avoids a second to send Otis into the post.

The double tag brings in Dawkins to slug away at Gable. Dawkins hits a running splash in the corner and grabs a t-bone suplex for a bonus. Otis has to make a save so Ford hits a big running flip dive to take him down on the floor. That leaves Gable to pull Dawkins into the ankle lock and the counter gives Gable the pin at 5:37.

Rating: C+. Both teams looked good here and the counter into the clean pin was a nice way to go. Gable and Otis get some extra momentum on the way to whenever they have to defend their titles against RKBro. Good for a fast TV match though and I’ll take what I can get from something like that on Raw.

Video on Lita.

MVP brings out Bobby Lashley, complete with his own Paul Heyman style intro. Hometown boy Lashley gets the kind of reception that you would expect and MVP talks about how Lashley took the title from Brock Lesnar. Then Lesnar won the Royal Rumble and has earned another shot at Wrestlemania. Well done, but now he wants in the Elimination Chamber as well, which is pure fantasy.

Lesnar is in the match but taking the title from Lashley is pure fantasy. Lashley says THE CHAMP LIVES HERE before talking about how Lesnar disrespected him. Last week Lesnar came to the show and said he wanted to get into the chamber. What Lesnar doesn’t realize is that he’ll be locked inside with Lashley. After the Elimination Chamber, Lashley is going to Wrestlemania with his title. Pretty simple and to the point promo here.

We look at Alexa Bliss getting her (replica) Lily doll last week.

This week, Bliss seems to love the doll but hands it over to the therapist, leaving her in tears.

Damian Priest vs. AJ Styles

Non-title. Styles ducks some shots in the corner and chops away before getting dropped with a jumping elbow to the jaw. Priest is sent outside for a slingshot forearm but comes right back with a running clothesline inside. Styles slips out of a superplex and has to escape the Reckoning.

The Styles Clash is broken up as well so Styles hits a fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. A kick to the head staggers Styles though and a bulldog driver gets two. Another exchange of strikes to the head goes to Styles…but Priest falls on top of him for two anyway. That was a bit odd but Priest is fine enough to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. AJ is right back with the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: B-. For those of you keeping track, that is Priest’s third straight singles loss and fifth out of six singles matches. I would really like to believe that WWE isn’t cooling off on him but that seems to be the situation at the moment. Other than that, we had a good match here with Styles getting a win before he moves on to a bigger match. I’m sure the only way to build him up was a win over the United States Champion too.

Smackdown Breakdown.

Seth Rollins mocks Kevin Owens for not making it into the Elimination Chamber but Owens thinks he might be lying. That’s a negative from Rollins, who laughs a lot.

It’s time for MizTV with Maryse here with Miz. They waste no time in bringing out the Mysterios as this week’s guests (with Miz and Maryse dancing during the entrance). Miz mocks Dominik for losing last week and puts his hand up to silence the crowd. Of course Miz didn’t cheat to win last week, unlike Edge and Beth Phoenix at the Royal Rumble.

Miz talks about how he used the Money in the Bank contract to become WWE Champion last year but the fans still think he is a cheater. Somehow though, Rey Mysterio is on the cover of WWE2K22 instead of the Miz. What does Rey have that Miz or Maryse doesn’t? Maryse thinks she was great at the Rumble and thinks Rey should call himself Rey Marysesterio. Dominik gets in Miz’s face and the rematch is on. Miz likes the guts, and thinks Dominik is Eddie Guerrero’s son.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz

Dominik starts fast by taking Miz down but Maryse breaks up the 619. That’s enough for an ejection, but Miz kicks Dominik in the face anyway. The referee gets rid of Maryse so Rey trips Miz, allowing Dominik to grab the pin at 1:40.

Post match Dominik does the Eddie Guerrero dance to celebrate.

Nikki Ash vs. Bianca Belair

Belair, whose hair is a bit more down this week, runs her over to start and does her dance. The delay lets Nikki tie Belair’s leg up in the ropes and put on a half crab. That’s broke up and Belair hits a fall away slam into some slams, albeit with some limping. Some rolling suplexes get two on Nikki but she’s back with a tornado DDT; Belair catches her with a kick in the corner though and it’s the KOD to finish Nikki at 3:57.

Rating: C. The selling was pretty good, though maybe Belair stopping to dance while selling the leg wasn’t the best look. Belair is great at the athleticism but she goes with that dance WAY too much. Other than that, Nikki’s crash continues, but at least she got in some offense here. She is just going to be cannon fodder in the chamber, but this could have been more of a squash.

The 24/7 chase continues, with Dana Brooke saying Reggie is such a sweet guy. She kisses him on the cheek, but says they’re really good friends. They hug, with Reggie teasing a regular kiss before the 24/7 goons chase them off.

Kevin Owens vs. Austin Theory

Theory goes intense to start and stomps him down in the corner, followed by a hard whip into another corner. Back up and Owens sends him into the corner, setting up a trip to the floor. A flip dive off the steps crushes Theory and we take a break. Back with Owens hitting a Cannonball to send Theory outside.

The frog splash off the apron crushes Theory for two back inside but they trade finisher escapes. Owens’ spinning superplex is broken up so he settles for a super Regal Roll. The Swanton only hits raised knees but Owens blocks a rolling something with a superkick. Owens Stuns him for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C+. They were packing in a good bit of action here, which is partially due to Owens dropping some weight in recent months. He has been moving better as a result and the matches have improved as well. Theory losing again is likely to make Vince McMahon angry, which could make for another step forward. Given McMahon’s interactions, it would seem that Theory has a perfectly fine future and that’s nice to see.

Randy Orton gives Riddle a pep talk/advice for the Elimination Chamber but tells him to focus on Seth Rollins tonight. Riddle is grateful and even invites Orton to a celebratory toga party next week. Orton seems ready to shake his head.

Veer Mahaan is still coming.

Here is Lita for a chat. She was fired up to get to be in the Royal Rumble with some of the biggest stars today. Then she showed up on Raw to challenge Becky Lynch, because she has been wanting that match for a long time. Cue Lynch to say how much that means to her. She has wanted to be Lita for so long but now that she is the champ, there is need for Lita.

Lynch is the star around here and now Lita shows up around the most important time of the year asking for a title shot? Lita talks about how she was some punk rock kid who chased her dreams. The people made her a four time Women’s Champion, but Lynch says Lita can keep the people. The fight is on with Becky getting the better of things but making the mistake of going back. That means a Twist of Fate into the Litasault to leave Becky laying. Lita still isn’t a great talker, but they both got the point across here.

Kevin Owens comes up to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville about taking Austin Theory’s place in the Elimination Chamber. That isn’t happening, because last week’s qualifying matches were final. Owens wants to go to Wrestlemania as WWE Champion and talks about how much Texas means to him. He basically begs but nothing is said.

Liv Morgan vs. Doudrop

Doudrop goes with the power to start so Morgan tries the eternally bad idea of trying a choke. Morgan gets driven into the corner though and we take a break. Back with Doudrop hitting the backsplash but Morgan manages to fight up. A series of strikes rock Doudrop and the springboard spinning Codebreaker gets two. Morgan’s hurricanrana is countered into an electric chair faceplant for a near fall, followed by the Vader Bomb to crush Morgan for the pin at 8:09.

Rating: C-. Call it a hunch, but the fact that Morgan is clearly on the downside of her big push made it clear that she was losing here. The fact that Doudrop has already lost her title shot doesn’t matter. Morgan’s time near the title is over and that is kind of a shame, as the fans seemed ready to go with her, but that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.

We look at Alexa Bliss’ therapy earlier.

And now, more of Bliss’ therapy. She has been trying to control her anger but might have beaten up a woman (who looked like Lily) at the grocery store. The therapist thinks they have more work to do.

Seth Rollins has done everything but headline Wrestlemania as WWE Champion so he’ll have to win the title in the Elimination Chamber.

Seth Rollins vs. Riddle

Rollins throws him down to start but Riddle grabs an early armbar. With that broken up, Rollins takes it outside for a buckle bomb against the barricade and we take a break. Back with Riddle fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with an Alberto top rope double stomp instead. Riddle blocks a clothesline with a kick to the head though and the forearms in the corner rock Rollins again. Riddle sends him outside for the apron kick to the chest and a springboard Floating Bro. Cue Kevin Owens to jump Riddle for the DQ at 7:49.

Rating: C. This was starting to get going before the ending, which was a good way to protect both of them. I’m not sure how much sense it makes to have either of the people in a World Title match so this could have been a lot worse. That being said, I think you can guess what is coming in the rest of the show.

Post match the beatdown is on until Randy Orton runs in for the save and let’s do that tag match thing.

RKBro vs. Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins

Joined in progress with Orton working on Rollins and taking him outside for a drop onto the announcers’ table. Back in and it’s off to Riddle but Owens comes in off a blind tag and takes over. The backsplash gets two on Riddle and Owens mocks Orton a bit for a bonus. Rollins adds a top rope ax handle and an elbow to the jaw cuts off the comeback bid.

A double stomp gives Owens two and there’s a heck of a chop in the corner. Rollins misses the big frog splash and Riddle’s jumping knee drops Owens. There’s the hot tag to Orton to start cleaning house but Rollins blocks the RKO. It’s back to Riddle, who gets caught with a rolling elbow to the face. Another one to the back of the head sets up the Stomp for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C+. There are your #1 contenders, who managed to get a title shot and then lose a match in the span of about two and a half hours. I know the Tag Team Titles don’t mean anything but could they at least pretend like they matter? Rollins getting a win means more and his story is more important, though you would think they might have a better idea on how to do this.

Post match Orton hits Owens with an RKO to blow off some steam and end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The word “bleh” comes to mind with this one, as it felt like a bunch of filling in time before we get to the important stuff next Saturday. That makes for a really dull three hours, with the extra fifteen minutes without commercials in the first hour making it worse. There was good action here, but it was more 50/50 booking and people not getting much of anywhere. I want to see how Elimination Chamber goes but they aren’t making the build to it all that thrilling.

Results
Alpha Academy b. Street Profits – Rollup to Dawkins
AJ Styles b. Damian Priest – Phenomenal Forearm
Dominik Mysterio b. Miz – Rollup
Bianca Belair b. Nikki Ash – KOD
Kevin Owens b. Austin Theory – Stunner
Doudrop b. Liv Morgan -Vader Bomb
Riddle b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered
Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens b. RKBro – Stomp to Riddle

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 27, 2007: The Old HHH

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,135
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and the big story is that John Cena defeated Randy Orton to retain the Raw World Title. That isn’t something I would have bet on and the ending so clean was even more of a surprise. Usually that would mean the end of a feud but that isn’t how things tend to work in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We look at John Cena retaining the Raw World Title over Randy Orton in the Summerslam main event.

Here is Orton to get things going. Orton can’t believe that Cena retained the title at Summerslam but now he wants a rematch. The next time will be different because he is demanding another shot against Cena. Cue Cena, who pauses to hug his dad (uh oh) in the front row. Cena talks about how Orton is making excuses but lost last night. Orton wanted to make a statement, but now Cena has a statement of his own: THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Last night, Orton lost and Cena thinks there is someone who made his return and deserves a shot. While he can’t make matches, Cena likes the idea of defending against HHH tonight. Cue William Regal to say Cena won’t be facing either HHH or Orton, because he’ll be facing an imperial man: King Booker. Cue Booker, so Orton tries a quick RKO on Cena but gets shoved away. Orton seethes and leaves after we got to the point more quickly than usual.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Feeling out process to start with Kennedy taking him into the corner but getting slapped in the face. Hardy claps the fans into things and gets pummeled in the corner for his efforts. Some knees to the ribs and shots to the back of the head put Hardy down again but he fires off right hands in the corner of his own. A clothesline sends Kennedy outside and Hardy hits the big dive as we take a break.

Back with Kennedy working on a bodyscissors before sending Hardy ribs first into the post. The logic continues with an abdominal stretch before Kennedy drives him back first into the corner. That’s broken up and Hardy hits a quick Whisper in the Wind for a breather. A rollup gets two and there’s the slingshot dropkick in the corner to rock Kennedy again. The Swanton only hits knees though….and here is Umaga to chase Kennedy off and superkick Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was oddly more about punching and kicking than you might expect, which isn’t usually Hardy’s style. They were getting into more of the rhythm that these two might have been expected to have before Umaga came in to kick Hardy’s head off. That should set up the next title feud and Hardy vs. the monster is something that could work very well. I’m not sure what is next for Kennedy, but he could use something else to do.

We see some clips of HHH returning to beat King Booker last night, with JR’s mic being a bit messed up.

Vince McMahon is on his way to the ring for an announcement on Carlito’s Cabana. Mr. Kennedy comes up and Vince compliments him on his match and says watch out for that Umaga. Kennedy wishes Vince a belated birthday and Vince points out that his middle name is Kennedy as well. This seems to leave Kennedy intrigued.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana with Vince McMahon as the special guest. Vince comes out and pleasantries are exchanged, with Vince saying he is now fifty years old (plus twelve more) and ordering everyone here to answer to him. Cue HHH to interrupt, with the fans going rather coconuts. HHH says Vince is now seventy and needs to worry about going senile.

Worry not though, because HHH is here and he has done some extensive research. He has narrowed the mother of Vince’s son down to four women so here they are. First up we have a woman from Wrestlemania III, who a drunken Vince thought was Aretha Franklin. That would be a rather large woman named Mary, with Vince saying she sang like Aretha that night. Then it’s One Eyed Wendy, who lost her sight in one eye due to Vince, ahem, missing. HHH: “Looks like a hole in one.”

Third is….Carlito’s sister! Vince tells Carlito that they thought he was asleep, but HHH wants to know why the sister (who basically looks like a female Carlito) isn’t spitting. Finally there is someone Vince knew as Frankie but now it’s Frank. Hold on though as Frank is out due to having the wrong physical attributes.

Vince throws them all out and HHH talks about Vince being accused of running an illegal cockfighting ring. This leads to Vince listing the animals he loves, capped off by saying he loves co…and he cuts himself off. Vince leaves so Carlito yells at HHH, including spitting the apple in his face. Destruction ensues and HHH has a seat in the chair. The gag wasn’t that great, but HHH being back and being less serious is a good thing.

The Condemned is on DVD.

World’s Greatest Tag Team/Daivari vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Cody Rhodes

London armbars Daivari to start and hands it off to Kendrick. That doesn’t go as well as it’s off to Haas, who gets caught in Haas’ overhead belly to belly suplex. The now blond Shelton Benjamin (that looks stupid) comes in to suplex Kendrick as well but Daivari misses an elbow. That’s enough to bring in Cody for a powerslam but Haas and Benjamin make the save. Everything breaks down and a high crossbody to Daivari gives Cody the fast pin.

Rating: C. Pretty by the book six man match here but what matters is continuing with Cody’s push. He isn’t getting any major wins or setting the world on fire but he is showing up and winning matches, which is how you make someone feel like a bigger deal. The other five guys just happened to be there, but it is better than having the same match over and over.

Post break Daivari is still in the ring but here is Cryme Tyme to interrupt his usual rant. They steal his head scarf (his “Durka Durka” according to JTG) and want $5 but Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch cut him off this time. Instead, JTG steals Cade’s hat and Cryme Tyme runs off. The hat is tossed into the crowd and chants of MONEY MONEY, YEAH YEAH are on.

Randy Orton storms into Vince McMahon’s office and demands a rematch with John Cena. Vince says not so fast, because Orton has to earn it. Orton storm off.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Or not as Beth jumps her during the entrance and the big beatdown is on. Maria can’t go so no match.

Candice Michelle isn’t scared of Beth Phoenix and will face any challenge. She also isn’t scared of Snitsky, who pops up behind her. Snitsky says it is a challenge for him to limit his destruction.

Vince McMahon is ready to find out his son and thinks he’ll learn the identity next week. William Regal comes in with some information but wants Coach gone before he’ll say anything. Vince says say what it is, with Regal saying that Shane, Stephanie and Linda will be here next weeks, with attorneys. Silent glaring ensues.

King Booker vs. John Cena

Non-title and Queen Sharmell is here too. Cena backs him into the corner to start but Booker comes back with some kicks tot he face. The fisherman’s suplex drops Booker back down and the armbar goes on. Booker has to bail to the ropes to get out of the STFU and we take a break.

Back with Cena making a comeback but Booker hits a spinwheel kick to take him down. Cena has to power out of a chinlock and grabs a spinebuster to plant Booker again. The side slam gives Booker two and he puts on a top wristlock. Cena comes up again so it’s a superkick to give Booker two more. Another comeback is loaded up but Randy Orton runs in to take Cena out for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the most drama as it was a match built around waiting on Orton to come in and jump Cena. They didn’t exactly hide what they were going for earlier today and that isn’t a bad thing. I’m not entirely wild on having Cena face Orton against after beating him clean, but it’s not like the two of them have fought forever and ever or anything.

Post match Orton and Booker beat Cena down. Orton gets all serious and rolls outside, where he grabs Cena’s dad. The Punt leaves Cena Sr. laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They had a bit of a weird show here, as it wasn’t so much about the show they were running but rather the shows that they were setting up. Next week will see all of the McMahons here and that should be the sign for a big step forward in the search for Vince’s son. Other than that, we’re on the way to Unforgiven and that should be a sold Summerslam rematch show. Overall, not a great show here, but the bigger stuff seems to have been officially put on standby.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 31, 2022: And They’re Off

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2022
Location: Heritage Bank Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves

The Royal Rumble has come and gone and that means we are officially on the Road To WrestleMania. As a result, it is time to start hammering in the pieces for the next elimination based match, as Elimination Chamber is in less than two weeks. Bobby Lashley is the new WWE Champion and that means he is going to need a challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar losing the WWE Title to Bobby Lashley with the help of Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman. Worry not though as Lesnar won the Royal Rumble later in the night, because being screwed out of a title leaves you with absolutely no other options to get another title shot. The graphic even saying “1 hour and 22 minutes later” doesn’t help things.

Here is Adam Pearce in the ring to hype up the big things we will be seeing tonight. There is a road block on the Road To Wrestlemania though, which is called the Elimination Chamber. Bobby Lashley will be defending his WWE Title inside the Elimination Chamber….and here are MVP and Lashley to interrupt. MVP rants about Lashley being in the Chamber and Lashley says he is here to celebrate beating Lesnar. Lashley is a better wrestler, a better mixed martial artist and a better champion. Who’s the conqueror now? Who’s the beast now? Who’s the champion now?

Cue Brock Lesnar, in wrestling gear, to interrupt. He talks about how Lashley didn’t really beat him, but Lesnar isn’t mad at him. Instead, he is mad at Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman, but what matters is that he won the Royal Rumble. That isn’t a joke, because Lesnar is going to face Reigns at Wrestlemania. Lashley is involved too though, because it is going to be title for title.

Lesnar challenges Lashley for his rematch right now and Lashley is already taking the tie off. MVP says not so fast though, because Lesnar has to earn it. Lesnar calls Lashley a chickens*** and Lashley is a lot more serious. MVP begs him not to and Lashley bails, but Pearce puts Lesnar inside the Elimination Chamber for the title instead.

Nikki Ash vs. Rhea Ripley

Nikki goes right at her to start but gets caught in a delayed vertical suplex, with Rhea walking her around for a bonus. Nikki is sent outside but manages to tie her up in the ring skirt and fires off forearms as we take a break. Back with Nikki working on an armbar and hitting a tornado DDT for two. Ripley fights up with some clotheslines and nails a basement dropkick. Nikki is back with a failed fisherman’s neckbreaker attempt, setting up Riptide to give Ripley the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C-. That is all you needed it to be, as Ripley got the clean win. Now granted that probably means we will be seeing another three matches minimum, likely with Rhea winning over and over. That’s about all Ripley can do though, as it isn’t like she could be back in the title picture or anything insane like that.

We recap last week’s spelling bee, with Chad Gable losing, followed by a singles match, with Chad Gable losing.

Now it is time for Gable vs. Riddle in a scooter race, with Riddle dubbing his scooter Gustavo. After some complaining about last week’s spelling and an introduction of R-Truth as the official starter, they’re off, with the first to complete fifty laps around the arena and cross the finish line at ringside wins. More on this later.

We’re back to more of Alexa Bliss’ therapy, with Bliss insisting that she has had Lily since she was a kid. We get a montage of Bliss with Lily, with the therapist asking what would happen if she could see Lily again. The therapist brings out a replica (while making clear it isn’t the real thing) and she is very happy.

We look at Edge and Beth Phoenix beating Miz and Maryse at the Royal Rumble.

Miz vs. Dominik Mysterio

Rey Mysterio is here with Dominik. Miz gets serious by messing up Dominik’s hair but has to duck an early 619 attempt. That means a trip to the floor, where he shoves Rey down. Back in and Miz kicks Dominik in the face before falling down and claiming Rey tripped him. That’s enough to get Rey ejected and the Skull Crushing Finale finishes Dominik at 2:10.

Tamina jumps 24/7 Champion Dana Brooke but gets interrupted by the scooter race (now on lap 18/50).

The scooter race continues until Riddle runs into Omos. Riddle: “Omos, I’ve never noticed it before but you have beautiful eyes.” And he rides off.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show, with Owens talking about how excited he is for the Road to Wrestlemania. He is going to be in the Elimination Chamber after he beats Austin Theory, but for now, it is time for the man who should be Universal Champion: Seth Rollins! Cue a limping Rollins, who even agrees to sit down this week.

After a Cincinnati Bengals WHO DEY chant, we get a highlight package on Rollins beating Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns kept choking him. Back in the arena, Owens says that was ridiculous but Rollins says he has a permanent piece of real estate in Reigns’ head. Whenever he goes back there, he will come back with the Universal Title. That’s Smackdown business though and we are on Monday Night Raw.

There are some spots available in the Elimination Chamber, but one of them is being taken up by….Seth Rollins! Owens’ isn’t happy that Rollins got in without having to qualify, but thinks Rollins could convince Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to let them in. All he has to do is threaten to not wrestle unless Owens is in! Rollins: “Uhhhh……..” Cue Austin Theory to interrupt and it’s qualifying match time.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Austin Theory

Feeling out process to start with Owens using the power to take over. That earns him a rolling dropkick and some shots to the face in the corner before they head outside. Owens crushes him with the Cannonball against the barricade and Theory needs a breather. Theory manages to send him into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Owens hitting a DDT and heading up top but missing the Swanton. The ATL is countered so Theory hits a neckbreaker for two. Owens runs him over again and now the Swanton connects to give Owens two of his own. The spinning superplex gives Owens two more but Theory knocks him outside. Owens gets back in, but Theory kicks the ropes for a low blow. Back in and the ATL gives Theory the pin at 11:17.

Rating: B-. Theory continues to shine every chance he gets and getting a win over someone like Owens is only going to make his star brighter. There is a lot to him and I’m wondering just how far he can go. If nothing else, it is nice to see him getting a spot in a title match. Granted he won’t win, but that’s a good step.

Otis gives Chad Gable a drink for energy but it’s steak sauce. Gable: “SODIUM!” Otis drinks it as Gable panics away.

Angelo Dawkins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Hometown boy Dawkins (with Montez Ford) does the Icky Shuffle on the way to the ring to really make himself beloved. Ziggler takes him down to start and hammers away in the corner, setting up his own, albeit mocking, Icky Shuffle. Dawkins is back with a clothesline and the spinning splash in the corner. Ziggler’s superkick is blocked though and Dawkins hits the spinning butterfly suplex for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C-. See how easy it is to give a hometown boy a win? They had a short match, the fans were happy with Dawkins winning, and Ziggler isn’t going to be hurt by a loss. This was all it needed to be and the fans got to smile. I don’t believe WWE is going to drop their trend of hurting hometown stars, but at least it was fine for one night.

Gable and Riddle are almost to the final lap.

WWE 2K22 ad.

Veer Mahaan is coming to Raw.

It’s time for the finals of the race. R-Truth is in the arena and picks the Bengals winning but Riddle knocks Gable down, leaving him with a banged up knee….but Otis runs Riddle over before he crosses the finish line. Gable gets up and wins without much trouble. Riddle protests, but Gable lists off all of his own accomplishments, none of which required cheating (Gable: “THANK YOU!”). Riddle can have his match, but against Otis. Hold on though as Adam Pearce has an announcement: this is now an Elimination Chamber qualifying match!

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Otis vs. Riddle

Otis takes him into the corner for a hard shot to the head to start, setting up the splash for a close two. The neck crank is on but Riddle fights up, only to get Judas Effected to the floor. Back in and Otis sends him flying off a shoulder and seems to do the old Razor Ramon pose for some reason.

Riddle fights out of another neck crank and forearms away, only to get knocked down by another clothesline. Otis puts on another neck crank so Riddle fights up even faster, this time for some running strikes in the corner. A ripcord knee puts Otis down on his knee and another puts him down. The Floating Bro hits Otis’ knee (as it missed badly) so it’s a Floating Bro to the standing Otis for the pin at 7:24.

Rating: C. Odd choice of a pose aside, this told a good story but in a boring way. Otis going for three neck cranks in a single match isn’t exactly exciting and that Floating Bro looked pretty bad. At least they got the ending right though, as Riddle or Randy Orton almost had to be in the Elimination Chamber. Again, Riddle won’t win, but it’s nice to see him get a chance.

Carmella vs. Bianca Belair

Carmella has to put her mask on before Belair can wrestle her down. The hair whip is loaded up so Carmella screams and slaps Belair in the face. Saxton: “That was stupid.” The chase is on until Carmella sends her into the corner and forearms away. Some elbows put Belair down again and we hit the chinlock. Belair fights up and gets knocked right back down into another chinlock. That’s broken up as well so it’s a forearm to set up the KOD to give Belair the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C-. Carmella was more aggressive here but it wasn’t much of a match. The mask gimmick continues to not add much and doesn’t seem to get over. The good thing is that Belair gets reheated a bit, though I have no idea where she is going with the title pictures pretty much set for the time being.

We look back at Alexa Bliss seeing the replacement Lily doll again.

Back in the office, Alexa Bliss is so happy to see Lily, who the therapist said he got from WWE Shop. Bliss holds the doll and smiles a lot. That’s it.

Chad Gable isn’t happy with Otis’ loss but has a good idea: the final part of the academic challenge will be a Quiz Bowl. Just like the Bengals losing their big game, RKBro will lose too.

We look at Ronda Rousey returning at the Royal Rumble.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. AJ Styles

They go with the grappling to start and neither can get anywhere. Styles hits a shoulder but Rey is back up with a running hurricanrana. That’s enough to send Styles outside but Rey’s sliding splash hits raised knees. Another hurricanrana takes Styles down again on the floor though and we take a break.

Back with Rey AJ countering a springboard moonsault but getting caught with a spinning DDT. A springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two but AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker gets the same. The calf Crusher is broken up and Rey kicks him in the head for another near fall. Rey goes up but has to counter the super Styles Clash. The frog splash misses for Rey though and AJ scores with a Pele. That’s not enough for a cover though as Rey heads up for the top rope seated senton, only to have AJ roll through into the Styles Clash for the pin at 11:34.

Rating: B. I’m as shocked as you are that two of the best ever were able to have a good match when they were given the chance. Styles winning makes more sense and adds to the star power of the match, but it’s not like Rey is some slouch. This was a rather good main event and I could go for seeing a longer version on a bigger stage.

Here is Ronda Rousey for the big finale. She can’t decide if she should pick to face Charlotte or Rebecca at Wrestlemania. Rousey has unfinished business with both, but Rebecca is on her undercard. Then everyone will know the baddest big time b**** is her. Cue Becky Lynch, saying that she wants an answer too and that the women’s division has never been hotter. Lynch wants a decision so Rousey grabs the arm….and says the decision will come on Friday.

Rousey goes to leave so here is Lita to interrupt. Becky isn’t sure about this but talks about being a fan when she was a kid. She makes the mistake of asking why Lita is here though and the challenge for Elimination Chamber is thrown out. Becky says no, but Lita manages to goad her into it to end the show. Remember the multiple instances that seemed to point to Lita vs. Charlotte? WWE doesn’t seem to either.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was hit or miss and some of the promos didn’t work so well, but what mattered here was the effort. It felt like the people were trying and that made all the difference. Things like Miz vs. Dominik and Belair vs. Carmella weren’t great, but the scooter deal was inoffensive enough and they set up a lot of the Elimination Chamber. Either way, much better than the Rumble, if you consider that to be an accomplishment at this point.

Results
Rhea Ripley b. Nikki Ash – Riptide
Miz b. Dominik Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale
Austin Theory b. Kevin Owens – ATL
Angelo Dawkins b. Dolph Ziggler – Double underhook spinning slam
Riddle b. Otis – Floating Bro
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD
AJ Styles b. Rey Mysterio – Styles Clash

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 24, 2022: Beginning To Rumble

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 24, 2022
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that could mean a few things. While the show is mostly set on the Raw side, there is always room to get in the final push towards Saturday and odds are that is what we are getting tonight. If nothing else, we have Miz celebrating Maryse’s birthday, which sounds shenanigansy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting big this week with the official weigh-in between Bobby Lashley (with MVP) and Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman). Lesnar is looking rather casual in jeans and a cowboy hat, which Corey Graves doesn’t like. That earns him a threat, but Lashley goes first and weighs 273lbs. MVP says the match has been in the making for a long time but don’t worry, because Lashley will be gaining weight after the Rumble: the exact same weight as that title.

Lesnar goes next, and does at least take off his hat, allowing him to weigh in at 286lbs. Lashley says Lesnar isn’t taking this serious but Lesnar talks about how Sunday morning, the headlines will read about Lashley winning with the Hurt Lock. Heyman: “What?” Lesnar: “The new WWE Champion: Bobby Who!”

We look at Bianca Belair winning last year’s women’s Royal Rumble.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Bianca Belair vs. Queen Zelina

And yes, after making her entrance before the break and the preview for tonight’s show, we are supposed to believe that Belair has been dancing in the ring for about six minutes straight. Belair wrestles her down to start and hits a dropkick but Zelina kicks her into the corner. A gorilla press and some suplexes put Zelina down again but she’s back up to try a Code Red. That’s blocked with straight power though and the KOD finishes for Belair at 3:50.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a squash, with Belair running Zelina over the whole time. That’s how it should have been too, as Belair is going to be a favorite for the Rumble. Zelina has her crown and lame King Booker impression and that is about all she needs to be doing right now.

Kevin Owens does not like being accused of lying against Damian Priest last week so tonight, he’ll do as the shirt says and Keep On Fighting.

United States Title: Damian Priest vs. Kevin Owens

Priest is defending. Priest starts slugging away in the corner and punches his way out of trouble. The chokeslam is broken up so Owens bails to the floor, only to step away from the threat of a dive. Owens is sent into the barricade instead but still manages to knock Priest off the apron. The Swanton hits raised knees though and we take a break.

Back with Owens hitting a tornado DDT into a frog splash for two. The low superkick doesn’t get Owens much further though as Priest hits his own kick to the face for two of his own. Hold on though as Owens claims another injury but this time, Priest stomps away. The goldbricking lets Owens grab a rollup with tights for two but Priest blasts him with a clothesline. Priest unloads in the corner and the referee finally calls for the DQ at 9:36.

Rating: C+. Remember when Priest unloaded on Dolph Ziggler and got disqualified? Or when he unloaded on Shinsuke Nakamura and got disqualified? Or when WWE had one idea for how to present someone like Priest? I’m glad Priest is getting this much TV time, but can WWE please come up with something new other than this Ken Shamrock IN THE ZONE idea?

We look back at Nikki Ash beating up Rhea Ripley last week.

Rhea Ripley is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Dana Brooke is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Liv Morgan is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Rhea Ripley/Dana Brooke/Liv Morgan vs. Nikki Ash/Carmella/Tamina

During the entrances, Sonya Deville yells at Damian Priest in the back. Doesn’t do anything about it, but she does threaten him. Also, Tamina, Nikki and Carmella are ready to win the Rumble. Tamina knocks Dana into the corner to start so it’s Rhea coming in with a bunch of clotheslines. The basement dropkick rocks Tamina again and everything breaks down. Carmella gets the tag and the Prism Trap finishes for Ripley at 2:21.

Post match Nikki gets in a cheap shot on Rhea and runs off.

We recap RKBro vs. Alpha Academy being set up for an Academic Challenge, because that’s what we watch Raw to see.

And now, a spelling bee between Alpha Academy and RKBro. Before we get started though, Chad Gable makes it clear that this is the first of three events over the next three weeks. He also insults Ohio’s intelligence and brags about his GPA (which he doesn’t spell). RKBro comes out, and we start with Otis spelling some kind of Swiss cheese.

Riddle thinks calibration is pronounced calibrotion and then doesn’t understand he has to spell it himself. Then he gets it right , meaning it’s time to celebrate. Gable brags about how easy his word will be and then misspells dissolution. Orton gets dumbbell to win and now it’s time for Orton vs. Gable. Randy even spells how he’ll win: R-K-O. This could have been worse, but having it go on for three weeks isn’t exactly appealing.

Randy Orton vs. Chad Gable

Feeling out process to start until Gable starts in on the arm. Orton can’t get very far away though as it’s an armdrag into an armbar to put him in trouble. The threat of an RKO sends Gable bailing to the floor but he’s back in to send Orton bailing as well. Orton is fine with going outside though as he drops Gable back first onto the announcers’ table. Otis offers a distraction though and Gables takes out Orton’s knee. The moonsault gets two on Orton and we take a break.

Back with Gable working on his leg some more but Orton fights up for the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT but Otis suplexes Riddle on the floor. Gable grabs a backslide for two, only to charge into the powerslam. The RKO is countered into the ankle lock, only to have Riddle jump Otis with the scooter. Orton sends gable into the corner and now the RKO can finish at 13:35.

Rating: B-. Scooter hijinks aside, this was a good match as Gable continues to feel like one of the bigger threats to break through to the next level. I have no reason to believe he ever will, but it feels like the chance is there. Orton pinning him isn’t a bad thing, but I’m not sure about having this Academic Challenge stuff go on for two more weeks.

Post match, Riddle picks next week’s competition: a scooter race!

Bad Bunny has a tour coming.

We recap last week’s therapy session, with Alexa Bliss still being obsessed with Lillie. Someone throws a headset down in the background.

We go to Alexa Bliss back in therapy. This time she is asked about how she met Lillie, sending her into a story about how she was six years old and some girls made fun of her. Then she met Lillie, who took care of them…somehow. They had fun all day and that’s the segment, as we go back to commentary with Bliss still babbling away.

Austin Theory tries to get Vince McMahon to give him a good Royal Rumble number but Vince wants him to focus on AJ Styles. Theory lists off Styles’ resume and goes to leave, but forgets his phone. Vince tells him to bring back a really good selfie.

Veer Mahaan is still coming to Raw.

AJ Styles vs. Austin Theory

Styles starts fast by shrugging Theory off and dropkicking him out to the floor. There’s the slingshot forearm to the floor and Theory is rocked early. Back in and Theory sends him face first into the corner, setting up the quickly broken chinlock. Some chops and kicks to the chest have Theory down and there’s the jumping knee drop.

Theory drops him throat first across the top rope and sends Styles chest first into the buckle. A big crash out to the floor has Styles in more trouble and we take a break. Back with Styles getting kicked in the head and being knocked down again. Styles is able to pop back up with the middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT though and the comeback is on.

The Phenomenal Blitz sets up the sliding forearm for two on Theory. A belly to back suplex gets Theory out of trouble though and a running Blockbuster gives him two of his own. The Pele drops Theory again but Theory goes to the ropes to escape the Calf Crusher. Back up and Theory breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm but gets caught with his feet on the ropes. Styles is fine enough to get back to the ropes and now the Phenomenal Forearm finishes Theory at 16:56.

Rating: B. These two worked very well together and putting Theory in the ring with someone like Styles is a good idea. I’m still not sure what is going on with the Vince/Theory stuff, but it seems that WWE sees something in Theory in the first place. Styles can be put into any spot on the show and thrive, which is a very useful asset to have.

Ad for WWE2K22.

We get a sitdown interview between Becky Lynch and Doudrop, with Becky talking about how confident she is and Doudrop not buying Becky being this good. Becky didn’t hear a thank you for putting Doudrop in the biggest match of her career. She brings up Doudrop attacking her last week to cost them a tag match, but Doudrop can’t hear anything because the whining makes her zone out. Doudrop gets up and marches into Becky’s studio to drive her into a wall. Referees break it up in a hurry.

We look back at Rey Mysterio tossing his son Dominik over the top last week in a Royal Rumble preview.

Rey is very pleased with being on the cover of WWE2K22. Dominik is ready to win the Royal Rumble, but Rey says that means throwing him out. Rey: “He’s just kidding.”

Street Profits vs. Mysterios

Dominik sends Dawkins outside to start and hits a dive, leaving Ford to backdrop Rey onto Dominik (for a nearly scary crash) on the floor. Ford hits a big running dive of his own and we take a break. Back with Dawkins dropping Dominik with a right hand for two but the hot tag brings in Rey to pick up the pace. Ford launches Rey into the air for the big crash, setting up the rolling splash for two. Dominik breaks it up but the double 619 is cut off by Dawkins. Rey victory rolls Ford for the pin at 7:51.

Rating: C+. The flips and dives were good here with both teams getting the chance to show what they can do in the air. Rey is likely to get a big push going forward towards the video game launch, but it isn’t like losing to a former World Champion is going to kill the Profits’ momentum. You know, assuming they had any.

Post match Dominik tries to dump Rey but gets tossed out for his efforts. The Profits throw them out but get dumped by Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode. The Profits and the Mysterios get back in to clear the ring but don’t trust each other.

Smackdown Rebound.

Seth Rollins knows he has Roman Reigns’ number and he’ll prove it at the Royal Rumble. For this week though, he’ll be at Smackdown too.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Here is Miz for Maryse’s big birthday celebration. There are all kinds of gifts and paintings around, so here is Maryse to open everything. Miz opens the first present, which is a portrait of the two of them as a prince and princess, which has to be looked at from the side as the straight on shot leaves it with a glare that makes it impossible to see. The second gift: what looks like a bedazzled jewelry box.

Now she wants the big gift, which Miz doesn’t recognize. Miz thinks there is something going on here and tells security to open the gift. It’s…..a brick on a stand. Miz laughs a lot and we see Maryse hitting Beth Phoenix in the back of the head with the loaded purse last week. With that out of the way, it’s time for Miz to sing Happy Birthday but Edge and Beth Phoenix interrupt.

Edge threatens violence and they run through security without much trouble. The presents are wrecked and more security is beaten up, including with a Hart Attack and a 3D for some fun. Miz and Maryse panic as another guard is powerbombed through the cake to end the show. This was pretty by the book but Miz and Maryse are great at this kind of thing.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some rocky points on this show but the mostly good wrestling carried everything else. The World Title match didn’t get a lot of attention here, but ultimately that match is going to sell itself. This show was more about the Royal Rumble matches and those are the ones that have not gotten a ton of attention. Oh and there was a spelling bee.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Queen Zelina – KOD
Kevin Owens b. Damian Priest via DQ when Priest attacked in the corner
Rhea Ripley/Dana Brooke/Liv Morgan b. Tamina/Carmella/Nikki Ash – Prism Trap to Carmella
Randy Orton b. Chad Gable – RKO
AJ Styles b. Austin Theory – Phenomenal Forearm
Mysterios b. Street Profits – Victory roll to Ford

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Monday Night Raw – August 20, 2007: They’re Missing A Big Piece

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2007
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the main event has been set for a long time now. Randy Orton attacked WWE Champion John Cena at Saturday Night’s Main Event so now we need another match set up. There are a few people with nothing else to do so they need to do something with them this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton is already in the ring and Tazz is replacing Jerry Lawler after King Booker took him out last week. Orton tells us to take a good look, because this is the last time you are going to see him without the WWE Title. Last week it was the start of the beginning of the end, which sends us to Orton RKOing John Cena through an open chair on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That was so good that Orton wants to see it in slow motion and from different angles. For some reason he only gets the latter but seems pleased anyway.

That footage is going to replace Hogan slamming Andre and the Montreal Screwjob as the most played clip in WWE history. That move is going to end Cena’s reign, but Orton would understand if Cena couldn’t make it to Summerslam. Rumor has it that he isn’t even here tonight but if Cena is here, he can come forfeit the title right now. Instead, Orton gets Vince McMahon, who doesn’t want to hear about the title match because some woman is out there hiding his illegitimate child.

Today, he found out that the child is male, which means a son of superior genetics. If Vince didn’t know Orton’s dad, he would hope that his son would be someone like him. All his other two kids want his MONEY, which isn’t what Orton would be after. Vince thinks they will find out who his son is here tonight and he hopes the people welcome him. These people are all horrible and want to see Vince taken down, just because some offspring wants his money. Vince hopes his son isn’t like John Cena, who has no dignity…and Cena is in the back.

Cue Cena to the ring, where he says he hopes he isn’t Vince’s son because he would be ashamed for Vince to be his father. With Orton behind the barricade, Cena says Orton has a message of his own because he is here tonight. He’ll be at Summerslam, where he will retain the WWE Title. Vince says Cena might be lying, but if he doesn’t show up, he will be stripped of the championship.

Speaking of stripping, that might bring Vince to Cena’s mother. Vince says he spent a lot of time in new England and he very might have “done your mom”. Cena punches him in the face so Vince and Orton bail together. Hold on though as Vince isn’t going to stand for this. That’s why Cena can face Snitsky, which has Cena looking a bit nervous.. This was a long bunch of talking to set up a main event and reveal that the child is a son.

Rey Mysterio is back on Sunday.

Mickie James/Candice Michelle vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as here is William Regal to say that we will have a Divas battle royal at Summerslam, with the winner facing Candice for the Women’s Title at some point in the future. Mickie and Candice get jumped before the bell and Beth gives Mickie a slingshot suplex. Melina comes in but Mickie slips over and brings in Candice to clean house (and scream a lot). Phoenix’s interference doesn’t work and Candice gets something like Kofi Kingston’s SOS to pin Melina

Post match the mini battle royal breaks out, with Beth being the last woman standing. Tazz: “She’s like a Glamazon!”

Santino Marella, with his arm in a sling, comes in to see William Regal to complain about Ron Simmons and Maria going on a date. Marella complains about Regal’s accent, saying he sounds like a “limp wristed hairdresser.” Regal tells him not to mess with the date so Marella says he’s off to get a cappuccino.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are ready for his official crowning tonight and invite HHH to be their guest.

Vince McMahon and Coach talk about Vince’s possible son, but write off the idea of it being HHH. Val Venis pops up to say HELLO DADDY, with Coach saying it would explain Val’s other career. They keep walking, with Vince blaming Shane McMahon for a lot of his troubles over the years. Daivari comes in to call Vince papa and puts his head covering on Vince’s head. Vince scares it off and they run into Mr. Kennedy but they keep walking this time. He wants it to be someone who has great wealth…and we’ll just cut it off there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin

Charlie Haas is here with Benjamin. Cody takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled to the mat without much effort. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Cody in more trouble but he fights up with some dropkicks. A bulldog gives Cody two and the snap jabs follow. Benjamin hits another backbreaker but the Boston crab is countered into a rollup to give Cody the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Cody stringing some wins together is a way to get him established with the crowd. That’s about all you can hope for with someone as generic as Rhodes still is. While that might work well for him, it is still a bit rough to see this happen to Shelton. He really did seem ready to be one of the next big things and here he is instead.

Post match Haas and Benjamin beat Cody down and leave him laying.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. Cade drives Kendrick into the corner to start and grabs a headlock. That doesn’t work very well as Kendrick is back up with a dropkick. It’s off to London for an armdrag, followed by another armdrag to Murdoch. An armbar doesn’t last long so Cade comes back in as everything breaks down. Cade and Murdoch are sent outside for the stereo dives, with Kendrick slamming head first onto the floor for a scary crash. Thankfully he seems to be ok, so here is Cryme Tyme to sell Murdoch’s hat to the crowd. The distraction lets Kendrick grab a crucifix for the pin as the hat sells for two dollars.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together as you have some talented people who know how to work well together. Losing to London and Kendrick is hardly some shocking upset and it furthers Cryme Tyme’s claim to a title shot. They’re turning this into a little something, with Cryme Tyme’s charisma certainly taking it a long way. Nice match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We now go to Ron Simmons and Maria on a date at a sports bar and grill. Simmons will have CLAM chowder with his LAMB, along with some bread and JAM. Cue Santino Marella with Jillian (or Lilian, according to him) Hall and of course they’ll join them. Oh and Simmons gets a vegetable, so he’ll have YAMS.

It’s time for King Booker’s coronation, with Queen Sharmell handling the introductions. Last week, Jerry Lawler was supposed to crown him but that did not happen. Instead, Lawler announced his opponent for the Summerslam Games, Hunter Hearst Helmsley (He used his real name!). We see Lawler getting beaten down last week before Booker calls the city by the wrong name. Booker orders HHH out here right now….and it’s a guy in a bad HHH costume, complete with the fake nose (he looks like Jason Sensation as Owen Hart).

Fake HHH crowns him but Booker wants to talk to James Ross. This does not concern Tazzwell so he can leave. Booker yells at Ross over what he said last week, while losing a bit of the accent. Ross is in trouble, but he can make up for it by kissing the royal ring. That won’t happen, but Sharmell shoves his face onto it, which is enough for Booker. I was expecting more violence. And more from Fake HHH. This was something with a few ideas but they didn’t go anywhere.

Post break, Ross says it’s Game On for Booker at Summerslam.

We go back to the date, where Jillian Hall is singing Whitney Houston. Maria didn’t realize they had karaoke here, but she just brings that microphone with her. A “fan” comes up to ask for Santino Marella’s autograph on a program, which is unfortunately from the waist up because it doesn’t showcase Santino’s…uh, bulge. The fact that he is reading this from a piece of paper isn’t lost on Maria. Ron Simmons: “SHAM!”

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with Umaga as the guest. Carlito gets right to the point: we’re almost to Summerslam but he doesn’t have a match. He wants the Intercontinental Title shot, but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Carlito: “Not you again.” Kennedy thinks he should get the title shot, because he has beaten Bobby Lashley, which even Umaga hasn’t done. If anyone deserves the title shot at Summerslam, it’s MR. KENNEDY (which takes quite awhile to say). Umaga thinks it takes too long and superkicks Kennedy down before wrecking the set. Cue William Regal to make Carlito vs. Kennedy for the title shot right now.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

We’re joined in progress with Carlito taking him down by the arm and pounding on the shoulder. Kennedy gets sent outside but comes back in to take Carlito down instead. The chase on the floor doesn’t go very far and it’s Carlito hammering away back inside. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Kennedy’s back but he pops up with a backdrop.

Carlito’s clothesline doesn’t even get a count because Kennedy’s shoulders aren’t down but a suplex does get one. Kennedy misses a middle rope elbow so they trade rollups with trunks for two each. Back up and Carlito kicks/hits/springboard elbows him in the face, only to miss a charge into the post. They head back outside, with Kennedy hitting a running kick to the ribs against the steps as we take a break.

We come back with Carlito being sent into the corner, setting up some boot scrapes. That doesn’t go well for Carlito, who is back up with a posting of his own. Carlito’s dropkick gets two but Kennedy catches him on top. The super Regal Roll is broken up so Carlito hits a superplex, setting up the always stupid “let’s randomly throw our legs together” for a small package and the double pin.

Rating: C-. This was long and I don’t know how dramatic the ending was. It wouldn’t have made sense to have either of them go over the other so this was about as good as it could have been. The ending didn’t help either, as it’s one of those ending that can only make sense when they are working together and that isn’t a great visual.

Post match, William Regal makes the triple threat title match. That was so fast it was almost anticlimactic.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Back at the bar, Santino Marella threatens Ron Simmons, who calls the referee over (SAM!). As luck would have it, the waiter’s tray of food winds up on Santino, giving us Simmons’ main catchphrase. Kind of a lame ending, but Simmons has been great.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon is in the back with Melina, who apparently looks rather fetching in Divas Magazine. Snitsky comes in to say he never knew his parents, but he knows how to inflict pain. He promises to cause Cena pain and calls Vince dad.

We look back at John Cena slapping McMahon earlier.

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Cena gets powered into the corner to start but avoids a charge. A bulldog just seems to avoid Snitsky, who kicks Cena in the head to take over again. Snitsky clotheslines him hard to the floor and there’s an elbow to cut off the comeback attempt. A double underhook crank works on both of Cena’s arms but Cena powers out. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the FU but here is Randy Orton with the RKO for the DQ.

Rating: C. It’s another match designed to be nothing more than a way to set up the finish, but Snitsky continues to look like a monster. One thing I did like here was the ending didn’t have Snitsky completely done, leaving him just enough of an out. I can’t imagine Snitsky can reach anything higher than a monster to be slayed, but at least he did well in a short match here.

Post match, Orton hits another RKO and stares at the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re in a weird place with the Summerslam build as Cena vs. Orton is set, but the second biggest Raw match involves someone who hasn’t been around for seven months. That has left the logical but only so good Booker vs. Lawler feud, with Lawler not being around this week either. The Vince drama is enough to fill in the gap, but the red half of Summerslam is feeling very single note after this show.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 17, 2022: It’s (Almost) Time To Rumble!

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 17, 2022
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means it is time for the card to be finalized. Last week saw Doudrop become the #1 contender for the Raw Women’s Title in what should at least be a fresh match. Other than that, we could use some more names being added to the namesake matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Becky Lynch to get things going. She knows the Royal Rumble is coming up and it is time for some big names to come back for the Big Time. People like Lita, Mickie James and the Bella Twins are here, but for now, it is time to deal with Doudrop. Last week, Becky got Doudrop her title shot, which is what she does. That’s the only way Doudrop could get her shot, but here is Doudrop to say she got everything on her own. Becky says follow her lead and you could win tonight. Cue Bianca Belair doing her dance and saying she’s in the Rumble. Now it’s Liv Morgan coming out to say she’s in too, but Doudrop wants to fight.

Becky Lynch/Doudrop vs. Bianca Belair/Liv Morgan

Belair dropkicks Doudrop to start but gets away without much effort. Everything breaks down and Doudrop is sent outside, leaving Becky to hit the Manhandle Slam on Liv. Doudrop (Becky’s partner remember) breaks up the cover, drags Becky to the corner and tags herself in, and splashes Liv for the pin at 2:24.

Post match, Doudrop hits a Bonzai Drop.

Edge and Beth Phoenix compliment Reggie and Dana Brooke. They walk up to Damian Priest, who is feeling a little edgy. Priest asks Edge for some tips on the Royal Rumble, but Phoenix gets handed a note. It’s from Maryse, who wants to meet Phoenix in the ring, one on one. Edge knows Beth has this, but he’s skeptical. They leave, so here is Kevin Owens to say he hopes he and Priest can have a good, clean match tonight. He’ll also have a surprise on the Kevin Owens Show.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show, with special guest Seth Rollins. We see a clip of Seth facing off with Roman Reigns on Smackdown, where he had to run from an Usos attack. Owens thinks Rollins is ready to take the Universal Title at the Royal Rumble, while also complimenting Rollins’ clothes.

Rollins says he’s winning the title and then sticking around on Raw. That works with Owens, because then they would have the best champion here with no Reigns or Brock Lesnar. Owens has his own big announcement: he is in the Royal Rumble! Cue Damian Priest to say no one believes these two are winning at the Royal Rumble. He also warns them not to wake Damian up, because he and Owens are up right now.

Veer Mahaan is coming to Raw.

Damian Priest vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. Priest shrugs off a headlock and a running shoulder to start before knocking Owens into the corner. Owens manages to knock him down and hits a backsplash, setting up a chinlock. That’s broken up and Priest knocks him outside, where Owens seems banged up. That is some good old goldbricking though, allowing Owens to hit a superkick and a bullfrog splash off the apron.

We take a break and come back with Priest firing off the kicks and hitting a flapjack. The Broken Arrow drops Owens for two more but he breaks up a superplex attempt. Owens hits the Swanton but the Stunner is blocked. The Reckoning is countered into the pop up sitout powerbomb for two, leaving Owens frustrated. Back up and the South of Heaven chokeslam gives Priest two of his own, with Owens coming up favoring his hamstring. That’s enough goldbricking to set up the Stunner to give Owens the pin at 10:57.

Rating: C+. And thus, another champion goes down, because that’s just how things go around here. It should mean that Priest is going to hold the title for a long time, but it doesn’t exactly bode well for his future. The match was pretty good stuff, but I can’t help groaning when a champion loses. It’s a way of life around here, which might explain a bit about where WWE is at the moment.

We look at Nikki Ash turning on Rhea Ripley last week.

Nikki Ash talks about how Ripley should be down and out because she is the villain in all of this. Ash is the People’s Hero and that means she has to do things that normal people don’t understand. After tonight, Ripley is going to understand that she needs a superhero, whether she likes it or not. That’s already better than anything she did in the last few months.

It is time for Otis’ graduation ceremony from the Alpha Academy (in caps and gowns of course). Chad Gable brags about his education and GPA, knowing that no one here in Tulsa knows what a masters degree is. Last week, Otis completed his final exam and graduated, meaning it is time for him to receive his diploma.

Cue Riddle, in a cap and gown of his own, to interrupt though, because he has his own speech, which he wrote at the breakfast buffet this morning. The speech talks about it feels like last week they were the Tag Team Champions, when they were just a pair of wild stallions. Gable cuts him off because he assumes Riddle is here about a rematch, though he doesn’t think Riddle knows what that means.

Riddle says it’s like when you light something up twice. Like a candle! Gable is willing to accept the rematch challenge, if RK Bro can beat them in an academic challenge! Otis looks nervous as Riddle thinks it sounds like Billy Madison. Otis goes after Riddle, allowing Orton to come in from behind and RKO Gable. RK Bro lays them out and Orton takes Otis’ cap and gown (they fit) before accepting the challenge. Something tells me this is going to result in Riddle sounding dumb but then rattling off a really smart answer to win in a big surprise.

We look back at Finn Balor beating Austin Theory last month.

Austin Theory comes in to see Vince McMahon, who remembers that loss to Balor. Theory tries to say that he beat Balor up after the match so it should be a half victory. Vince says there is no such thing, but Theory better win tonight. If not, Vince is going to beat the heck out of him, leave him black and blue, then take a selfie with Theory. Then he’ll send it to Theory’s mom!

We get a tribute to Martin Luther King, about an hour and twenty minutes into the show.

Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor

Theory starts fast and knocks Balor outside as we take an early break. Back with Balor hitting a chop in the corner, setting up a Nightmare on Helm Street for two. Theory is right back with an ATL attempt but Balor reverses into a rollup for two more. Balor drops him again but misses the Coup de Grace. The ATL finishes Balor at 5:48. Not enough shown to rate but that’s a fast loss for a returning Balor.

Post match Theory takes a selfie and beats Balor up even more. Another selfie caps things off.

We look back at Nikki Ash taking out Rhea Ripley (again).

Rhea Ripley isn’t sure what kind of hero Nikki Ash thinks she is, but it’s time for a beating.

Rhea Ripley vs. Nikki Ash

Hold on though as here are Queen Zelina and Carmella to say they were right about everything with these two. Nikki is nothing without Ripley and Ripley needs someone to leech off of, because she can’t do anything on her own. Nikki jumps Rhea before the bell and sends her into the steps, meaning there is no match. That did seem like quite the fast turnaround for what feels like a big match.

We look at Omos destroying Reggie last week.

Dana Brooke gives Reggie a pep talk about his match with Omos as the 24/7 geeks watch from behind and eat popcorn.

Omos vs. Reggie

Cue the 24/7 Goons to go after Dana Brooke so Reggie tries to dive onto Omos. The chokeslam finishes at 29 seconds.

We look back at Miz running his mouth for Maryse, who walked away rather than get in a fight.

Here is Maryse for a face to face showdown with Beth Phoenix. She talks about Miz running his mouth and getting her in trouble but it’s just her tonight. Cue Beth Phoenix and Edge, with Maryse saying that she and Phoenix built up the women’s division. They should be friends with play dates and dinners and drinks. Beth tells her to shut up because she doesn’t buy any of this, because Maryse must have taken acting lessons from her husband.

The match at the Royal Rumble is still on and she is going to Glam Slam Maryse through the mat. Let’s give the people a preview right now but here is Miz from behind to jump Edge. That earns Miz a punch to the face but Maryse hits Beth with her purse, knocking her out. And indeed, there is a brick in the purse. Maryse flips her hair and hits Miz in the face.

The Street Profits are ready for the Royal Rumble. The Mysterios come up to say they too are ready for the Royal Rumble. Yelling ensues.

We look at Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins facing off on Smackdown.

Street Profits/Mysterios vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode/Commander Azeez/Apollo Crews

Dominik snaps off a running hurricanrana to take Ziggler down early but Ziggler runs him over. It’s quickly off to Roode but Dominik knees his way out of a suplex. Rey comes in with a hurricanrana of his own and there’s a running headscissors to drop Roode again. Roode blocks a top rope hurricanrana but gets taken outside anyway. Ziggler throws Dominik out as everything breaks down, giving us a big staredown on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rey in trouble and Ziggler/Roode knocking the other good guys off the apron. Crews adds his standing moonsault for two but Rey is back with a tornado DDT. The hot tag brings in Dawkins to clean house as everything breaks down. Roode and Ziggler take the double 619 but Azeez pulls Dominik’s dive out of the air. Rey breaks that up but Crews rolls Dawkins up for two. Dawkins runs Crews over though and the Cash Out finishes for Ford at 7:58.

Rating: C+. There is nothing wrong with having a bunch of people in there flying around for a fast paced match. They didn’t overstay their welcome either and that made for a more entertaining match. It was a perfectly fine way to use some television time and that is always a good thing to see on a show.

The winners celebrate until the Mysterios throw the Profits over the top. Then Rey throws Dominik over, saying pay attention, and You Can’t See Me.

We see a clip of Bobby Lashley on After The Bell, where he welcomes a challenge from Brock Lesnar.

We get a big video on Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar, both of whom have been forged over the years. Lesnar is from South Dakota, where he grew up on a farm and then won the NCAA Heavyweight Title. Then he came to WWE and dominated here as well, just like he did in the UFC. Then he came back to WWE and dominated again (this time for almost five times as long as his first run).

On the other hand, you have Bobby Lashley, who won three NAIA National Titles in wrestling, along with a gold medal in the Armed Forces Championships. He had a 15-2 record in MMA before coming back to dominate WWE, including winning the WWE Title. Now it is time for these two monsters to collide for the first time ever.

We look back at Maryse hitting Beth Phoenix in the head with a brick.

Miz is very proud of Maryse but he is going to one up himself by remembering that next week is her birthday! He is going to throw her an extravaganza, which earns him quite the kiss.

We go back to Alexa Bliss in therapy where the two of them sit and stare at each other. The therapist is glad things have calmed down a bit, because he can’t have her snap again like last week. He wants to do word association this week, with the following results:

Trust – Lily
Friend – Lily
Home – Lily
Doll – Lily
Imaginary – Bliss stands up and that’s the end of their session.

Bliss sits back down and looks around as the therapist leaves. They won’t let it go with that stupid doll.

Bobby Lashley vs. Seth Rollins

MVP is here with Lashley, who runs Rollins over with a shoulder to start. Rollins changes things up a bit and tries the Pedigree but has to escape the Hurt Lock attempt. That earns Lashley a trip to the floor, where a suicide dive only knocks him to a knee. Another attempt is countered into an over head belly to belly to send Rollins flying as we take a break. Back with Rollins working on Lashley’s legs and grabbing a leglock. A dragon screw legwhip sets up a half crab to stay on the knee.

Rollins lets that go and tries the Stomp, only to be reversed into a Downward Spiral. A belly to belly and a neckbreaker set up the spinning Dominator for two on Rollins. The spear is countered with a superkick though and now the Pedigree connects (Nick Khan will be looking into this Rollins fellow) for two on Lashley so Rollins heads up top. That’s countered into a belly to belly superplex but here are Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander to jump Lashley for the DQ at 13:18.

Rating: B. This was the main event style match and they had the right ending as you can’t have one of the #1 contenders taking a loss less than two weeks away from their Royal Rumble title matches. They also ended the match when either of them could still have won and that is the correct way to do something like this. It was nice to see them not doing anything crazy here and it was a good match on top of the smart finish.

Post match the beatdown is on but Lashley smashes Alexander and Benjamin. Cue the Usos through the crowd to superkick Rollins to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a much better job this year by making sure to avoid overly stupid moments. Other than the Bliss stuff and maybe the American Alpha deal (which wasn’t that bad), they kept things moving here and hyped up the big Royal Rumble matches. I’m still not sure who wins at the Royal Rumble and that is the kind of feeling that you want to have going into the show. Pretty good show this week, though the lack of Big E. was a bit weird.

Results
Becky Lynch/Doudrop b. Liv Morgan/Bianca Belair – Splash to Morgan
Kevin Owens b. Damian Priest – Stunner
Austin Theory b. Finn Balor – ATL
Omos b. Reggie – Chokeslam
Mysterios/Street Profits b. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler/Commander Azeez/Apollo Crews – Cash Out to Crews
Bobby Lashley b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander interfered

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Monday Night Raw – August 13, 2007: Vince McMahon Has A List

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to go back to the company’s home and it always feels special to be in Madison Square Garden. We are less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the John Cena vs. Randy Orton showdown, but we need something to get us through a few more shows. We’ll start with a bizarre pairing of Cena/Umaga vs. Orton/Carlito, which should make for an interesting main event. Oh and Vince McMahon might have another kid. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon returning last week on a pretty bad night before being told that he has a paternity suit being filed against him over another McMahon child. I still remember that airing live and being intrigued.

Opening sequence.

Wrestlers from all three rosters are around the ring as Vince McMahon comes out. Vince says he has had a few dalliances over the years but he doesn’t even remember this woman. To make it worse, the woman is withholding the name of the illegitimate child, which makes this pure extortion from a woman who should have been on the pill.

We see a WHO’S YOUR BABY sign in the crowd and you know the fans are chanting that. Vince knows his family supports him and he hopes the fans will support him, because this could happen to any red blooded American male. He has been in the public spotlight for thirty years and nothing bothers him…but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

She wanted to do this in private but that can’t happen now. Stephanie claims that Vince abandoned his family, but Vince thinks she just wants her piece of the pie. She didn’t want to do this in public but she will anyway. Earlier today, she talked to the mother and has found something out: the child is a WWE star, and they’re here at ringside. Vince looks around the ring and suddenly looks rather nauseous. As Vince leaves, he has a staredown with Mr. Kennedy, which the fans seem to like. He also looks at Mark Henry, who kind of shakes his head. There’s your big angle and yeah, this is intriguing.

Bobby Lashley had shoulder surgery this week and blames Mr. Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Sandman

I’m not sure why they went to the back instead of just staying in the ring but WWE can do some weird things at times. Kennedy works on the arm to start but Sandman swings away with left hands. It’s time to go up top but Kennedy crotches him, setting up a super snapmare. The Regal Roll gives Kennedy the fast pin.

Vince McMahon is ranting about having a wrestler for a kid to Coach, who has a plan: they can go through the entire roster and figure this out. First up, Coach needs to know when Vince became sexually active. Vince: “Well I was ALMOST a teenager.” Coach says this could be anyone on the roster, so here is Ric Flair to say WOO as Vince appears to have a headache.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Shawn Michaels.

William Regal is dressed as Simon Cowell for WWE Idol. First up, JBL and Michael Cole are here, in costume, to sing a Hall and Oates song. JBL isn’t impressed and yells, but Maria and Ron Simmons pop up for a distraction. Their date is next week, so here is Santino Marella to complain. He has a plan though: sing a song so romantic that Maria will come back to him. They leave, so Simmons gets to hear JBL and Cole sing Rich Girl. Cole asks Simmons about his favorite 80s band. Simmons: “WHAM!”

Here is Cryme Tyme and they have a special deal for us tonight: Lilian Garcia’s chair! Cryme Tyme even autographs it and get….$1000! That’s not too bad, and they get a match too.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title and joined in progress with Shad in the wrong corner and getting chopped rather loudly. Some knees to the ribs set up a chinlock until Shad powers up to drive Murdoch into the corner. The hot tag brings in JTG to clean house, with a legdrop getting two. Everything breaks down and there’s a high/low to JTG…but Shad BLASTS Murdoch in the back with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They barely had enough time to make this go very far but at least they did something to make Cryme Tyme look good. The stealing/selling stuff is an idea and it fits their characters rather well. Odds are we are going to get a title match out of this sooner than later and that should make for a good pay per view showdown.

More Randy Orton, this time taking out Rob Van Dam.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Snitsky vs. Robbie

Pumphandle slam finishes Robbie in about 20 seconds.

Post match Snitsky beats up Rory as well.

Vince McMahon talks to Coach about how he challenged himself to do it in every state, including in a corn field in Nebraska and on an iceberg in Alaska. Coach says they could do a DNA test of all the wrestlers but that would take a few weeks. Instead, they could go over his dalliances and cross reference them to know more by this weekend’s Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cody Rhodes pops up to say he knows who his father is and gives Vince a condom, just in case. Vince tells Coach to remind him to sue Trojan’s magnum division…and here’s Boogeyman to sing Cat’s In The Cradle, which is about spending time with your father. Coach: “He does appear to have your eyes.”

And now, WWE Idol. We have a panel of judges, including William Regal, Maria (who judges host Todd Grisham because she thinks he’s a contestant) and Mick Foley (“I will do almost anything for money”). The first contestant is Jillian Hall (who has Mick’s attention), who sings her own version of Memories from Cats. Mick is glad he lost part of his ear, Maria says her singing was……well she looks really pretty! Regal: “Perhaps I should change tonight’s main event to Roe vs. Wade because that was an abortion.”

Next up is Nikolai Volkoff/the Iron Sheik (with Howard Finkel), singing the Russian National Anthem. Granted Sheik doesn’t actually sing but Maria stands up. Regal: “It’s a shame that Sheik didn’t lose his voice in this building like he lost the WWE Title!” Sheik yells about Regal joining Vince McMahon’s special club and Regal is AGHAST. He ejects Regal so here is Lilian Garcia to sing New York, New York.

Santino Marella interrupts, saying New York is missing a prostitute. He sings That’s Amore, which Foley says was almost as painful as watching Marella wrestle. Santino tells Maria that they’ve leaving but she isn’t done judging. Cue Ron Simmons to beat Santino up, which is enough music to Regal’s ears to name him the winner. This was WAY funnier than the Dating Game and Regal’s lines were amazing.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Charlie Haas

Shelton Benjamin is at ringside. Cody grabs a rollup for an early two but Haas snapmares him over for a kick to the back. The neck crank goes on before Haas starts going after the arm. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Haas goes with an overhead belly to belly for two instead. Another chinlock is broken up and Rhodes grabs a hot shot. Rhodes hammers away and hits a dropkick (JR: “Cody learned that from his mother!”), setting up a high crossbody for two. With that not working, Cody grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is the way to build Rhodes up as he needs to prove that he can get a few wins. Haas isn’t hurt by a loss, especially in a singles match, and Rhodes gets a boost. It’s such an easy and logical way to go but for some reason it seems lost on so many promotions. In other words, follow the Cody model.

It is time for King Booker’s official coronation, with Jerry Lawler having to crown him after losing to Booker last week. Booker orders Lawler to put the crown on, dropping the accent as Lawler takes too long. Lawler doesn’t like being told that Booker is the only true king, so there will be no crowning. As a bonus, he has been talking to the bosses, and Booker will be having a match at Summerslam, against this man. We see a HHH video and Booker is not happy. The fight is on and Booker CLOCKS Lawler with a TV monitor.

Post break, Lawler is being tended to by medics and Todd Grisham takes his place.

Summerslam rundown.

Randy Orton took out Sgt. Slaughter too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat before the main event. John Cena is having the longest WWE Title reign in nearly twenty years, but Orton ends careers. He is taking the title, but he is also going to end Cena’s career for good.

Randy Orton/Carlito vs. John Cena/Umaga

It feels like they hit the Random button to set this up. Orton and Umaga start, which is kind of a weird pairing. Umaga hammers him down in the corner but misses a charge so Carlito can come in. Everything breaks down for a bit and the villains are cleared out so we can take an early break. We come back with Cena pounding on Carlito until he charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Carlito sends him outside to keep up the beating and it’s back to Orton for the dropkick. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two and we’re off to the chinlock. Cena finally powers out of trouble but Orton isn’t about to leg Umaga back in. The knee drop misses though and it’s right back to Carlito, who actually wins a slugout. Orton grabs a chinlock of his own but Cena is right back up again. A backdrop sends Carlito flying and it’s Umaga coming in to clean house. The running hip attack hits Orton and Carlito’s Backstabber completely fails. Instead, Cena comes in for the FU to finish Carlito off.

Rating: C. This was a way to sit around waiting until we got to the big tag to Umaga. There was something to be said about watching Umaga clean house, as he is the kind of screaming wrecking ball monster that you don’t get to see too often. I don’t know if it is going to last long, but at least it worked well for one night.

Vince McMahon kind of liked going over all of his indiscretions with Coach, including one time with two flight attendants on a flight to Detroit. Then Linda McMahon comes in and tells Vince he no longer has a home to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The push towards Summerslam continues and you can see a lot of the card, but there are still some holes that need to be filled. I’m sure we’ll get some of those things covered next week, though it would have been nice to do some of them a little bit earlier. That being said, the McMahon stuff is enough to make up for some of the problems, as a big Vince story can be one of the best things WWE does. Another not great show, but Summerslam delivering could make up for a lot of these problems.

 

 

 

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