Monday Night Raw – September 27, 2021: Get Them A Pillow

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 2021
Location: Heritage Bank Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re done with Extreme Rules and the biggest changes involve a doll and this show. First up, Charlotte destroyed Lillie the doll last night, sending Alexa Bliss into an emotional breakdown. Other than that we have a WWE Championship match set for the top of the show, because Monday Night Football is going to kill them otherwise. Let’s get to it.

Here is Extreme Rules if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Big E. cashing in Money in the Bank to win the WWE Title, plus pinning Bobby Lashley again last night at Extreme Rules in a six man tag. The rematch is set for tonight.

WWE Title: Big E. vs. Bobby Lashley

Big E. is defending and after the Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Lashley powers him into the corner to start so Big E. fires off a slap to the face. That earns him a beating in the corner and a snap suplex for less than one. A clothesline puts Big E. on the floor but he snaps off a belly to belly to send us to a break. Back with Lashley hitting a Downward Spiral into a big clothesline to put Big E. in even more trouble. Lashley takes him up top but Big E. blocks the superplex.

That’s fine with Lashley, who knocks him off the top and down onto the apron for a crash instead. The double clothesline on the floor teases the double countout but they make it back inside. That means the slugout can be on but Lashley has to go to the ropes to avoid the Big Ending. The spear through the ropes drops Lashley….but here are Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander in Hurt Business shirts. Lashley hits a spinebuster and seems pleased but here is New Day to go after Alexander and Benjamin. The spear cuts Big E. down as the other four fight inside for the DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how many people expected a clean finish here so it wasn’t like it was a disappointment. Giving Big E. a DQ loss doesn’t exactly make him look great but I’m sure you are going to see something else from him later tonight. They mostly delivered a nice match though and that’s all they needed to do.

Post match the brawl is on and security comes out to break it up. Actually we’re not done as this match is happening again later tonight inside a steel cage (which they just happen to have lying around).

Erik vs. Angel Garza

Ivar and Humberto Carrillo are here too. Erik powers him around to start but gets caught in an armbar for his early efforts. That’s broken up and Garza is back with his knee to the face. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS, which Carrillo teases throwing in. That brings Ivar over but the distraction lets Garza hit a superkick into the Wing Clipper for the pin at 2:01.

We recap Charlotte beating Alexa Bliss last night and destroying Lillie, plus beating up Bliss again, because it has been so long since Charlotte accomplished anything.

24/7 Title: Reggie vs. Ricochet

Reggie is defending. Feeling out process to start with Ricochet working on a wristlock but they need to trade moonsaults over each other out of the corner. Ricochet sends him outside for the big flip dive as the 24/7 goons are watching from the front row. That’s enough for them to jump the barricade and jump Reggie for the DQ at 1:20.

Post match Ricochet fights back but Drake Maverick has a walkie talkie, telling someone to do it now. Cue Akira Tozawa to go after Reggie, who escapes anyway. Note that Ricochet is the one who is a guest star but we have a continuing story involving four morons trying to catch an acrobat to win a comedy title.

Riddle is on his own tonight because Randy Orton is probably taking a week off to have some Skyline Chili. Or he needed to take a break from Riddle because he wanted to RKO him on the concrete. Riddle thinks that’s a bad idea because it could hurt Orton’s back. It’s cool though, because Riddle has his headphones with Orton’s theme song. Singing ensues.

Akira Tozawa is still in the ring and wants a match with someone.

Keith Lee vs. Akira Tozawa

Yes it’s Bearcat and it’s a splash into the Big Bang Catastrophe for the pin on Tozawa at 35 seconds.

We recap the opening match and a very serious Big E. promises to beat Bobby Lashley again, just like he did when he promised to cash in. A serious Big E. is a good Big E.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Damian Priest

Priest is defending and it’s no countout/no DQ. Why Priest needed to have his entrance before that big recap is beyond me, but letting the US Champ stand around in the ring for three minutes certainly isn’t a bad look or anything. Before the match, Sheamus says this won’t be pretty, but it will be pretty ugly as he gets the title back. They go with the power to start with Sheamus headlock takeovering him down.

Priest fights up but gets elbowed in the face to cut him off. The Broken Arrow is broken up so they head outside, where Priest hits a quick suplex. There’s a big boot and it’s already time for a table. Sheamus isn’t having that and sends Priest into the steps but the ten forearms on the apron are broken up. Instead, Sheamus hits the White Noise through the table in a big crash to send us to the break.

Back with Priest fighting out of a kendo stick choke, because White Noise off the apron through a table is just a spot. Another table is set up in the corner but Priest is back up with kendo stick shots. A chair is brought in but Priest is sent head first into it in the corner (that sounded great). Priest is back up with South of Heaven for two and they slug it out from their knees. An enziguri gives Priest two but he jumps into the jumping knee to the face for the same. The Reckoning is loaded up but Sheamus slips out, only to be sent through the table in the corner. Now the Reckoning can retain the title at 15:50.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a fight and the match they should have had last night at Extreme Rules. I’m not sure what the point was in having an extreme match on Raw when you had a regular match on the extreme pay per view. The other problem here: Sheamus, a multiple time World Champion, just hit his secondary finisher off the apron and through a table. It sent us to a break and we came back with Priest being fine. You could do an injury spot or a title change off of that, but it might not even be the biggest spot in a Raw match.

Mustafa Ali isn’t happy with Mansoor signing the two of them up for a six man tag with Jeff Hardy. Ali rants about Hardy, who pops up behind them, asking what Ali would say to them. After Ali backpedals hard, Hardy talks about how they are up against some scary monsters. He’s ready to twist their fates.

Jinder Mahal/Veer/Shanky vs. Mansoor/Mustafa Ali/Jeff Hardy

Shanky sidewalk slams Ali to start so it’s off to Mansoor, who gets elbowed by Veer. We hit the neck crank for a bit but Mansoor fights up in a hurry and brings in Jeff to clean house. Everything breaks down and Veer’s baseball lariat finishes Ali at 3:44.

Rating: D+. So yes, we really are reheating Jinder Mahal and the final form of the Singh Brothers. This hasn’t worked before and it isn’t likely to work now, but that has never stopped WWE before. Maybe focusing on Veery and Shanky would help, but I have no reason to believe that will be the case.

Karrion Kross promises to hurt people.

Karrion Kross vs. Jaxson Ryker

Kross knocks him into the corner to start and mocks Ryker’s military history. A suplex takes Ryker down but an armbar is broken up. The Doomsday Saito set up the Krossjacket to make Ryker tap at 1:37. That’s good for a smile.

Doudrop is going to answer Charlotte’s Open Challenge for a Women’s Title match.

Bobby Lashley rants about Big E. winning the title with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Tonight, he isn’t injured and he can hurt Big E. even more in a cage.

Riddle vs. AJ Styles

Riddle suplexes him down for an early two but gets hit in the face for a trip to the floor. AJ hits a sliding knee off the apron and we take a break with Riddle in trouble. Back with Riddle striking away but getting caught in a pumphandle gutbuster to cut him off. Riddle kicks him to the floor and hits a big dive to take AJ down again.

Back in and the Floating Bro is countered into a Calf Crusher (that was sweet) but Riddle slips out. The comeback is on as Riddle gets all fired up, even knocking Styles down a few times. That’s fine with AJ, who counters a running knee into a Burning Hammer (geez) into the Styles Clash for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C+. This match right here might embody Raw’s troubles more than anything else. There is no reason for this match to happen. RKBro beat Styles and Omos for the titles and we have seen several combinations since then. It is continuing just for the sake of having matches and filling in time now. The match will be fine, but find a reason for them to fight other than “they’re fighting again”.

Post match, Omos plants Riddle again with the chokeslam.

We look back at Shayna Baszler snapping on Nia Jax and putting her on the shelf with an arm injury last week.

Shayna has no comment, but does have a nifty deck of cards.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Doudrop

Charlotte is defending. Doudrop shoves her around to start and Charlotte can’t manage to slam her. The big running backsplash crushes Charlotte….and here’s Eva Marie because WWE absolutely refuses to move on from ANYTHING. Charlotte gets in a chop block and Natural Selection retains at 1:52.

Post match Eva poses over Doudrop and gets decked by Charlotte.

Goldberg (OH HERE WE GO) is back and talks about how he and Bobby Lashley are both fathers. He doesn’t know what kind of a father Lashley is but Lashley attacked Goldberg’s son at Summerslam. Now he is going to fulfill the vow he made when his son was born and hurt Lashley a lot. I’m so excited for this. It’s right up there with a bad infection.

Eva Marie is still in the ring and complains about the disrespect. She can beat anyone in the locker room so here is Shayna Baszler. The Kirifuda Clutch knocks Eva out in a hurry and the fans approve. Shayna lets go and unloads on Eva’s arm ala last week with Jax for a bonus. I could go for face Shayna.

Nikki Ash and Rhea Ripley say they have nothing in common except the titles. Nikki thinks they need matching blue gear, but Rhea says it’s a good color on Nikki only. Hey, remember when Riddle and Orton were a team who didn’t agree on anything but they worked well together and one of them was really excited about the team and wanted them to have matching gear and a wacky name but the other wasn’t interested?

WWE Title: Big E. vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is challenging in a cage and jumps Big E. before they’re both inside. Big E. is sent into the barricade and the cage as this is one sided before the bell. A posting makes it even worse and we take a break. Back with the bell ringing and Big E. sending him into the cage over and over. A running clothesline drops Lashley again but he’s back up with a trip into the cage wall.

The spear is countered into a hiptoss into the corner but Big E. has to fight out of a Hurt Lock attempt. Lashley settles with a suplex for two and goes up but Big E. is right up there for an attempt at a super Big Ending. That doesn’t quite work as Big E. comes back down but gets caught in a dragon sleeper over the ropes. That’s enough for Lashley to go for a climb but Big E. is back up for the save.

Big E. goes up but the Hurt Business is there to cut him off. Lashley goes for the door but here’s Xavier Woods to slam the door on his head. New Day gets rid of the Hurt Business, with Kofi hitting the trust fall off the cage onto both of them. We take a break and come back with Big E. ducking an elbow and hitting the trio of belly to belly suplexes. The spear cuts Big E. down for two though and Lashley goes for the door. That’s broken up so Lashley tells him to stay down, only to walk into the Big Ending for two. A spinebuster plants Big E. so it’s time to climb but Big E. pulls him back down with the super Big Ending to retain at 16:31.

Rating: B. This was a pair of big strong guys hitting each other very hard and that’s what it needed to be. Setting up the super Big Ending earlier and then actually doing it in the end worked well and it felt like a major victory for Big E. He needed this to solidify himself as the champion and it was a good fight that felt like a pay per view level title match.

Post match the cage is raised, but here’s Drew McIntyre to stare Big E. (who is fine with this) down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. In something I’ve had to say far too many times over the years, there is a good two hour show in here somewhere, if you trim off a lot of the fat. By fat, I mean a lot of the repetitive stuff that has been done so many times that it doesn’t feel like it matters anymore whatsoever, such as Eva Marie vs. Doudrop, Jinder Mahal and company, the 24/7 Title, Styles/Omos vs. RKBro and probably Karrion Kross. It’s either not going to happen or it has happened so many times that there is no reason to be interested anymore.

The rest of the show did have some good moments, which tended to be when they were focusing on what the talented wrestlers can do in the ring. There were good matches and it felt like important things were happening here. The problem is there was so much other stuff that didn’t work and dragged the good down. That happens far too often on Raw, but it does seem like they are getting out of the horrible depths they had reached a few months ago. I’ll absolutely take that, but the Draft is going to change everything anyway so I’m not sure if it matters.

Results
Bobby Lashley b. Big E. via DQ when Kofi Kingston and Cedric Alexander interfered
Angel Garza b. Erik – Wing Clipper
Reggie b. Ricochet via DQ when R-Truth interfered
Keith Lee b. Akira Tozawa – Big Bang Catastrophe
Damian Priest b. Sheamus – Reckoning
Jinder Mahal/Veer/Shanky b. Jeff Hardy/Mansoor/Mustafa Ali – Baseball lariat to Ali
Karrion Kross b. Jaxson Ryker – Krossjacket
AJ Styles b. Riddle – Styles Clash
Charlotte b. Doudrop – Natural Selection
Big E. b. Bobby Lashley – Super Big Ending

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 23, 1999: The First

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 23, 1999
Location: Hilton Coliseum, Ames, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and in the surprise of the night, Mankind if the WWF Champion. That’s not the kind of thing you would expect to see, but then again this is 1999 WWF so oddities are a specialty. Steve Austin was attacked after the match was over, which should put him on the shelf for the time being. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a stills package of Mankind winning the WWF Title in a heck of a shock, plus the heck of a beatdown on Austin’s knee after the match.

Opening sequence.

Lawler welcomes us to the show, describing this as an action adventure series. That never sounds right.

JR is in the ring to interview Mankind but HHH and Chyna come out instead. HHH says there will be no celebration at his expense because he has been screwed over and over. It was supposed to be his moment because he became #1 contender. Then everything kept being taken away from him because the bar kept being raised. It happened time after time and once he got to Summerslam, he got a bogus referee who wouldn’t count a pin when he had a man beaten.

The fans chant for Austin and HHH goes on about how he had Austin beaten last night. The air came out from Austin’s soul and he was a beaten man, but it was a bunch of bull. Last night, HHH beat Austin within an inch of his life and now he’s laid on his back in a hospital bed with his legs in the air like a cheap prostitute. HHH remembers that Mankind and Austin are JR’s boys so he must be happy with what happened.

Well HHH is going to be happy right now, and he grabs JR in an armbar. He demands Mankind come out here right now or he’s snapping the thing. Cue Mankind but HHH says stop right there. The match is in a hurry….and HHH Breaks the arm anyway, as he should have. Mankind comes in to chase him off and says that since HHH broke his promise, he’s breaking his own: no title shot. Cue Shane McMahon to say oh yes the title shot is happening. So we just had a swerve into a swerve in the span of a minute and a half. It’s 1999 all right.

Michael Cole replaces JR.

Hardcore Title: Road Dogg vs. Al Snow

Dogg is challenging but Snow jumps him during the catchphrases (that’s evil). A chair shot puts Dogg on the floor and it’s time to unload with the weapons. Pepper the dog, in a pet carrier, watches as Snow loads up a table and Cole wonders why Pepper isn’t talking to Road Dogg (that was kind of funny). Snow tries to ride a ladder down onto Dogg on a table but only the ladder hits the table. Dogg puts Snow through the table but here is Chris Jericho to go after Dogg for the no contest.

Post match, Big Boss Man comes out to hit Snow with the nightstick and STEAL PEPPER!

We cut to the back where Chris Jericho and Road Dogg are still fighting but Boss Man comes by to deck Dogg. Boss Man throws Pepper in the back of a car and drives away, with Al Snow showing up to give chase.

Post break Snow is asking if anyone knows where Pepper is, apparently not having seen Boss Man leave. He wasn’t that far in front of him.

Tag Team Titles: Acolytes vs. Undertaker/Big Show

Undertaker/Big Show, with Paul Bearer, are defending with Kane/X-Pac on commentary. Of note, since Road Dogg did his own intro, Undertaker and Show’s intro marks the first ever introduction from the new ring announcer: Lilian Garcia. The Acolytes jump Show to start but he double clotheslines them down. A chop block slows Show down and Bradshaw drops him with a top rope shoulder, as Undertaker isn’t bothering to do anything. Faarooq goes after Undertaker and gets thrown over the announcers’ table for his effort. The brawl is on, with Kane and X-Pac getting involved for the DQ.

Post match X-Pac and Kane get double teamed, including Undertaker chairing the heck out of Kane.

Test asks Stephanie McMahon to stay in the back for a bit.

And now, the Blonde Bytch Project, a Blair Witch parody, featuring Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards. They go out to find the title character and that’s the end of the first episode.

Here is Test for a chat and we look at some stills of him beating Shane McMahon last night. He has been through a lot lately and if he had to do it again, he would. There comes a time when you have to ask some questions, and sometimes you have to pop one. Therefore, he would like Stephanie McMahon to come out here.

Cue a smiling Stephanie but Shane McMahon runs in almost immediately. Violence is teased but Stephanie says hold it because Andrew (egads) makes her happy. Why can’t Shane love his sister for who she is? Test pulls Stephanie away and drops to a knee for a rather fast proposal. Stephanie needs some time to think about it but she does love him. Everything seems to be ok.

Chris Jericho wants Howard Finkel (whose name he can’t remember) to do something to be like Jericho.

Here is the new Eurocontinental Champion, Jeff Jarrett, along with Debra and Mark Henry. Jeff is happy with how Mark Henry helped him against D’Lo Brown last night, so he has a gift for Henry: the European Title! Debra has a present too. As the boss of Jarrett Enterprises, she needs an assistant. Since she already has the puppies, here is the debuting Miss Kitty, which seems to work for Debra. As for Jeff himself, he has left an open contract for a title shot on the locker room door. Someone can go sign it so we can have a title match for later. We have a match now though.

Mark Henry vs. Meat

Hold on though as D’Lo Brown jumps Meat in the back and we have a replacement.

Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title (I think). Brown hammers away to start but gets tossed up and onto his face. Henry misses the legdrop though, allowing Brown to hit one of his own. The Low Down connects but Jeff Jarrett comes in for the DQ.

Billy Gunn is looking for a pen and tells Chyna to watch the contract so no one can sign it. With Gunn gone, Chyna signs it herself. What a lying friend!

Post break, Billy can’t find Chyna and (jokingly, at least I think), calls her a b****.

The Rock vs. Gangrel

Gangrel has the New Brood, better known as the Hardy Boys, with him. Before the match, Rock says he’s ready to do various horrible things with Gangrel’s cup of blood. The brawl is on to start with Rock hammering away and hitting a clothesline out of the corner. Gangrel is smart enough to roll outside to avoid a worse beating and a New Brood distraction lets him takeover.

Back in and Rock hits a DDT for two and, after shrugging off Matt Hardy, sends Gangrel over the top. A quick necksnap across the top lets Gangrel get in a few shots but Jeff dives off the barricade to cut off Rock’s comeback. Cue Edge and Christian to go after the Hardys and Rock punches Gangrel down in the corner. The Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish in a hurry.

Rating: C-. I remember watching this match when I was a kid and it has always stuck with me. This wasn’t the start of a new story and it wasn’t going to go anywhere after the pin. What you got instead was a big star beating a lower level star, meaning neither of them are hurt. They kept it short and it was a watchable match, but it gave Rock something to do and Gangrel doesn’t lose anything (save for a match). Perfectly fine.

Post match the Rock says the WWF is trying to hold him back with people like Billy Gunn and Gangrel. He wants to be #1 contender and thinks it’s time to take matters into his own hands.

Howard Finkel is firing himself up because he’s “a warrior”.

Tori thinks Ivory has a humiliation fetish so let’s have an evening gown match on Smackdown. Yeah Smackdown debuts this Thursday and I believe this is the first mention of the show.

Here’s Howard Finkel to the Ultimate Warrior’s theme music to say that Chris Jericho is here to make this company better. There are some simpletons who don’t get it though, like the Road Dogg. Finkel calls Dogg out to explain what Y2J is all about. Cue Road Dogg, so Finkel shoves him a few times. That earns him a grab of the sweatshirt, but Chris Jericho comes through the crowd (after the full countdown) to beat Dogg down. Back to back powerbombs let Jericho pose on Dogg’s chest, complete with a C’MON BABY!

Billy Gunn is still looking for Chyna but HHH says don’t look too hard or you might find her.

Hardcore Holly is tired of his cousin Crash so he invites him to a battle of the super heavyweights.

Hardcore Holly vs. Crash Holly

Crash starts fast by dropkicking him out to the floor and they’re out in the crowd in a hurry. They wind up over by the sound equipment and then go backstage where both of them are whipped into various walls. Hardcore whips him into a ladder and they go outside to wrap this up. Not long enough to rate, but it wasn’t exactly a match anyway.

Steve Austin has suffered tendon and ligament damage in both knees thanks to HHH. Mankind comes in to say that HHH has done some stupid things in his quest to become a tough guy. He and Austin have never seen eye to eye but Austin has basically funded his retirement!

Al Snow is still distraught.

Mideon/Viscera vs. X-Pac/Kane

Paul Bearer, Big Show and Undertaker do commentary, including stealing Michael Cole’s headset. Lilian Garcia: “The following contest is scheduled for one round!” Mideon hammers on X-Pac to start so Kane comes in to take over instead. Cue the Acolytes down the ramp, with Undertaker calling them the phony tough and the crazy brave. Kane chokes Mideon on the mat as Bearer refers to himself as slender, with Undertaker not quite buying it.

Mideon manages to take him into the corner but Kane fights them off like they’re Mideon and Viscera. A Samoan drop puts Kane down for a good half second as he sits up, as Lawler asks if Big Show would ever stab Undertaker in the back. Undertaker: “King, you ever make another stupid comment like that and I’ll stab you in the face.” The hot tag brings in X-Pac to clean house with a Bronco Buster each. The Acolytes beat on Kane outside though, leaving Viscera to crush X-Pac behind. A splash is good enough to give Viscera the pin.

Rating: D+. That wasn’t the best one round match, if nothing else because they managed to have nine people involved in about four and a half minutes. That’s a very Russo deal, as he liked to have a lot of people running in and out, even if it might have been a bit much. You could have dropped either the Acolytes or the Undertaker/Big Show, but why do that when you can have EVERYONE?

Chris Jericho is thinking about giving Howard Finkel Smackdown.

Billy Gunn calls Chyna out for a less than friendly chat. Cue Chyna, with Gunn saying that he had a chance to be Intercontinental Champion, but she’s playing a game. Chyna says she isn’t playing and a brawl seems imminent, but here is Jeff Jarrett to hit Chyna with a guitar. Miss Kitty tries to give Jarrett another, only to have Gunn take it away and blast Jarrett instead.

We recap the WWF Title match being set up.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Mankind

HHH is challenging and the Rock joins commentary. Rock: “Who’s booking this crap?” Cue Shane McMahon in a referee’s shirt so the fix can be even further in. Mankind knocks him down into the corner to start and hits the running knee to the face. That’s not even good for a one, as Shane is too busy shouting at the Rock. Mankind whips out Mr. Socko to take out Shane but has to backdrop his way out of a Pedigree attempt.

That means HHH can get Socko as well but here is Chyna, who gets a sock of her own. A double arm DDT plants HHH for a delayed two so they head outside to keep brawling. HHH whips Mankind into Chyna, who hiptosses him into the steps for a nasty crash. Back in and a neckbreaker gives HHH two, followed by a hard toss into the post.

There’s the jumping knee to the face (Rock: “Mankind sucks.”) into the knee drop but Mankind fights out of the corner. A running clothesline gets two and the Cactus Clothesline does what the Cactus Clothesline does. Shane is back up with a chair to Mankind, followed by HHH charring Mankind and the Rock for a bonus. The second referee is taken out and it’s the Pedigree to give HHH the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl for the most part and that’s what it should have been. They needed to get to the HHH title reign somehow and that’s exactly what they did. Mankind didn’t feel like he had a chance to retain here and sometimes that is the right thing to do. This is the historic title change and it was the right time to do it.

The Peacock version include the Extra Attitude post show footage, including HHH going after Mankind again. Mankind fights back this time and Rock comes in to help beat up Shane. A double People’s Elbow connects and Rock goes up the ramp, leaving Mankind to hit his own People’s Elbow. Mankind joins Rock on stage and wants a hug but has to settle for a handshake. Rock comes back out, the two of them stare at HHH and Shane, and it’s another handshake into a hug. The villains get to pose on the stage to end the night.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of the better remembered shows from this era as it felt like something important actually happened. You don’t get that very often in this era, as so many of the things that take place come and go in the span of a few hours. The shows still go by so fast and there are a lot of things that don’t work, but it was nice to have a show that felt like it mattered for once and that was the case here, making it a little bit better.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 23, 2007 (2021 Redo): Very Happy Birthday

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 23, 2007
Location: Earl’s Court, London, England
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a special show as we are in London and it’s time for a Wrestlemania rematch. The main event of this week’s show will see WWE Champion John Cena facing Shawn Michaels in a non-title match. That’s not a bad way to spend Cena’s thirtieth birthday and they can probably do some good stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Shane McMahon, seemingly ready for a match, to get things going. Shane says that Bobby Lashley won’t be here tonight because he has been busy costing Vince McMahon his hair and Umaga the Intercontinental Title. We see a clip of Santino Marella debuting last week and winning the title with an assist from Lashley.

Since it’s St. George’s Day, Shane is going to let a fan have a chance to slay the ultimate dragon: Shane himself. Shane says we can even make it no holds barred and it can be someone from the crowd. After turning down the Chelsea coach, Shane says he has a better idea: a man he saw beat up six people last night in a pub.

Shane McMahon vs. Robbie Brookside

The fans don’t seem to know who Brookside is, though he had been around for over twenty years at this point. Shane grabs a headlock to start and takes him down for some knees to the back. Some kicks to the ribs keep Brookside in trouble and Shane hammers away in the corner. The trashcan is loaded up and Coast To Coast knocks Brookside silly. Hold on though as Shane just remembered that this is a handicap match.

Shane McMahon/Umaga vs. Robbie Brookside

Umaga gets in his own shots and hits the running hip attack in the corner. The top rope splash connects, but Shane remembers that he has one more partner.

Shane McMahon/Umaga/Vince McMahon vs. Robbie Brookside

Vince comes in and gets the pin. I credit the hat for his victory.

Rating: C-. What else is there to say to this? It was an angle instead of a match and not a great one at that, but at least they made the villains look like villains. Shane had Brookside beat on his own and kept bringing in more and more people, which made them look like monsters. That’s a good idea for something like this and it was a good way to build them up for Lashley on Sunday.

Video on John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels from Wrestlemania.

Matt Hardy vs. Trevor Murdoch

Time for part two of WWE’s favorite way to book a tag team feud. They fight over a lockup to start with Murdoch powering him into the corner. Hardy fights out but Murdoch pulls him off the middle rope for a crash. A neckbreaker drops Matt again but he avoids a middle rope elbow. The comeback is on, including the bulldog out of the corner and the Side Effect for two. Matt misses a charge into the corner though and Murdoch hits something like a Canadian Destroyer for the pin.

Rating: C. WWE has long since loved this idea as the Texas boys are now 2-0 in singles matches against the Hardys. As luck would have it, now they are going to be getting a Tag Team Titles hot on Sunday and now there might be some doubt about who is winning. That’s about all they have in the division at the moment, so go with it.

Weekly Condemned plug.

Melina vs. Maria

Non-title. Melina drives her into the corner to choke a lot, then bends Maria’s neck across the rope. Maria’s headscissors doesn’t do her much good as a swinging hair faceplant finishes in a hurry for Melina.

Ric Flair is ready to go the ring with Carlito, who is doing this on his own. Flair doesn’t seem thrilled.

Carlito vs. Great Khali

Carlito goes after him to start and manages to stagger Khali but gets knocked out of the air. The double chokeslam finishes Carlito in a hurry.

Post match Ric Flair comes out to check on Carlito, who wants nothing from him.

Mick Foley joins us for a cheap pop and talks about guest GM Michael Pena making the four way main event for Backlash. Edge pops in to say he is glad the match was made and he is going to watch John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels before taking out Randy Orton tonight.

Shawn Michaels runs into John Cena in the back. Cena talks about all of Shawn’s nicknames, but Cena’s only nickname is the champ. This was serious Cena and that is a good thing.

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Non-title and we even get an old school weapons check. Shawn takes him down by the arm to start but gets reversed into a headscissors for the early break. Back up and Shawn goes after the arm again so Cena tries an STF to send Shawn bailing again. Another STF attempt has Cena running into the corner so they go technical for a change. Cena doesn’t care for that and powers him down to the mat, sending Shawn to the ropes again. They trade shots to the face and we take an early break.

Back with Cena grabbing a headlock takeover to grind Shawn down for a change. It works so well that Cena does it again and Shawn can’t get out of it in his first few attempts. Shawn fights up again and tries a hiptoss, only to get blasts with a clothesline to set up the chinlock again. The next escape attempt actually works and Shawn hammers away to take over for the first time. Cena gets a boot up in the corner though and a heck of a clothesline gets two.

A Sweet Chin Music attempt is countered into an AA attempt but Shawn bails out to the floor as we take another break. Back with Shawn elbowing away in the corner until Cena catches him with a World’s Strongest Slam. The release fisherman’s suplex gets two and the Throwback is good for the same. Shawn comes back with a quick swinging neckbreaker and they’re both down for a breather. Back up and the flying forearm drops Cena so Shawn can nip up.

The top rope elbow connects but Cena is ready for Sweet Chin Music. The big flying shoulder misses and Cena falls to the floor….where he is fine enough to pull Shawn’s dive out of the air. A posting is countered into a ram into the steps to leave Cena down as we take another break. Back again with Cena down on the floor, seemingly with a bad shoulder, so Shawn takes him back inside to crank on the arm. Cena fights up and initiates the finishing sequence, including the Shuffle. The FU gets two and that brings the fans back into things as we take a fourth break.

We come back again with Cena throwing him hard to the floor to bang up Shawn’s back even more. A posting gives Cena two back inside and the kickout has him a little stunned. Cena scores with a suplex (with Shawn still holding his back for a nice touch) for two and it’s off to the rather wise bearhug.

Shawn fights out so Cena dumps him over the top for the crash to the floor, setting up the top rope legdrop for two back inside. The super FU is countered into a powerbomb but Shawn can’t follow up. Another STF attempt earns another block and Shawn knocks him off the apron, into the announcers’ table. A piledriver onto the steps, ala Wrestlemania, is blocked and we take another break.

We come back again with Cena unloading on Shawn on the announcers’ table and NOW the STF can go on inside. The long form crawl gets Shawn to the rope for the break but he has to slip out of the FU….and hit Sweet Chin Music for a very delayed two. Shawn is whipped hard into the corner so Cena tries the FU again, only to have Shawn get out and hit the superkick, this time falling on top for the pin (after about 55 minutes, a Raw record for a one fall match).

Rating: A-. What else is there to say about this? It’s one of the best TV matches of all time as it is both very long and also high quality throughout. You almost never get to see that and they made it work very well here. It’s an excellent match and felt like a Wrestlemania worthy main event. You could go back and forth on which was better, but this is going to be very hard to top for a long time to come.

Shawn says something to Cena and holds up the title to end the show. Edge vs. Orton didn’t happen, which I’m assuming has something to do with Orton being sent home from the tour. Good chance that’s why this match had to go so long.

Overall Rating: B. A show with a match like that is going to carry you about as far as you need to go and make up for almost anything else taking place. That was the case here, as the rest of the show was mostly skippable, only to have an all time classic bail it out. About half of the show is spent on one outstanding match and that is more than enough to carry this whole thing. Great match, which makes for a pretty awesome show.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 20, 2021: This….Wasn’t Bad!

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 20, 2021
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and in theory that should mean that it is time to actually add something EXTREME to the card. It would be nice to have the show actually live up to its name, though I think you can guess what kind of stipulations we are going to be seeing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Big E. cashing in Money in the Bank to win the WWE Title last week.

Here is New Day to celebrate Big E.’s title win. Big E. is rather emotional as he soaks in the YOU DESERVE IT chants and says this feels like Thanksgiving to him. He is thankful for everyone who has been here chanting New Day Rocks and (and those who chanted NEW DAY SUCKS).

There are some great people here to celebrate with and one more above watching down (cue the BRODIE chants, and Big E. has to pause for a second). As for tonight though, it is time for some business because the New Day has to deal with the Bloodline. This is their show though and they will send Bloodline packing, because…..and they take so long loading up the catchphrase that the Bloodline cuts it off.

Bloodline vs. New Day

Kofi and Jimmy start things off with Roman Reigns pausing to point at the ceiling a lot. Jimmy gets snapmared down and Kofi adds a running kick to the chest, setting up Woods’ middle rope elbow for two. It’s time to start in on the arm but it’s off to Jey in a hurry. Kofi makes a blind tag though and springboards in with a high crossbody for two of his own. Reigns is sick of this though and pulls Kofi outside for rams into the announcers’ table and the post.

A big staredown takes us to a break and we come back with Kofi crawling for the tag but Jimmy knocks Woods off the apron. Kofi gets sent into the corner but runs up the buckles for a spinning top rope dropkick. The double tag brings in Reigns and Big E. for the heavyweight showdown. Overhead belly to belly suplexes send Reigns flying and a regular belly to belly drops him again. Big E. has to get rid of Jey though and Reigns is back up with a release Rock Bottom.

The Superman Punch is countered into another belly to belly but Reigns slips out of the Big Ending. It’s back to Woods as Big E. tosses Kofi onto the Usos but Reigns is back up with the Superman Punch. Woods superkicks Reigns for two but here is Bobby Lashley to take out a lot of people, with the referee watching the whole thing. Since we can’t have a DQ in this thing, Reigns spears Woods for the pin at 13:04.

Rating: B-. The ending really dragged this down, as this is the kind of match that could have just as easily ended with a DQ, but instead the solution is to make the referee look like an imbecile. Lashley being all ticked off about losing the title is a fine way to go, but could you at least make it look better? The match itself was the kind of big time showdown you would expect from these teams, but the ending just made my head hurt (for the first time tonight).

Post match Lashley spears Reigns down and hits another one to drive Big E. through the barricade.

Post break Bobby Lashley goes to see Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to rant about Big E. Lashley insists he can beat Big E. or Roman Reigns, so the bosses stare at him.

MVP is out of action with a broken rib after Randy Orton gave him an RKO last week.

Riddle has made sure that he and Orton have the same Spotify playlists and talks about how they are on a roll. Orton isn’t impressed, even as Riddle talks about how Orton can beat AJ Styles tonight. Riddle wonders what his spirit animal would be, thinking it might be a mongoose. Orton thinks Riddle is confusing a movie with real life and says he’s ready for AJ tonight. Oh and the headphones Riddle gave him? Pretty cool. Riddle responds by singing Orton’s theme song.

We recap Eva Marie vs. Doudrop.

Eva Marie vs. Doudrop

Hold on though as Eva says this isn’t a fair match because she’s put together and Doudrop is a mess. Girls like Doudrop can’t beat women like her but we ring the bell anyway. Doudrop chases her around the ring to start, catches her, and finishes with the basement crossbody at 1:19. This is in no way, shape or form different than their previous match, except that it was more recent.

Post match, Doudrop declares the Eva-Lution dead. Until their next three matches I’m sure.

Big E. storms into the bosses’ office and says he wants Bobby Lashley and Roman Reigns tonight. They still say nothing.

Post break, Paul Heyman comes in to see the bosses and goes on about how people have come in here and complained about everything tonight. Heyman doesn’t do that, because he has a message from Roman Reigns. Sonya Deville cuts him off and makes a triple threat match for tonight. Now go tell Reigns that it is official.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Omos and Riddle are here too. Orton wastes no time in taking AJ down with a headlock but it’s broken up in a hurry for a staredown. The armbar with some hand cranking has AJ in trouble again but the threat of an RKO sends him bailing to the floor. Back in and Orton grabs a suplex for one as this is total dominance so far. Orton starts the Garvin Stomp, allowing Riddle to strike Orton’s pose.

Omos offers a bit of interference though and that means it’s an ejection, with Riddle getting beaten up for dancing in celebration. AJ finally gets something going by knocking Orton outside for the slingshot forearm. Omos finally leaves and we take a break. Back with Orton whipping him chest first into the corner and hitting some clotheslines. Orton snaps off the powerslam for two and knocks AJ out to the apron. The hanging DDT is broken up though and AJ tries the Phenomenal Forearm but has to settle for a sleeper.

That’s broken up as well and Orton busts out a t-bone suplex of all things. AJ is back with a shot to the head but the Styles Clash is countered with a backdrop, which is countered into a cradle for two. A Lionsault of all things gives AJ two so it’s time for the Forearm. Orton teases the RKO counter so AJ drops back to the apron, allowing Orton to kick him down and hit the hanging DDT. The RKO finishes for Orton at 14:57.

Rating: B. You had two talented wrestlers doing their thing here and it worked out well, even with the extra time that they had. I know Orton might not be the most popular, but he can have a quality match with just about anyone and that is an incredibly valuable thing to have on your roster. The same is true for Styles, but he loses points for not having the mustache.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Shayna Baszler. They teamed together, they argued, they won, they argued, they lost, they argued, they lost some more, they argued, they did the same for about six more months before we FINALLY got to this match.

Nia Jax vs. Shayna Baszler

Nia brags about how she is the talented one and grabs a Samoan drop, only to put Shayna down and say it was that easy. Baszler knees her way out of the corner and a big kick to the head puts Jax down on all fours. Another kick to the face sets up the Kirifuda Clutch, which is countered with straight power. Shayna gets it again so Jax drops back onto her….and passes out at 2:22. I didn’t see that one coming but I’ll take it.

Post match Shayna takes her outside and kicks the mostly out cold Jax in the head. Shayna puts Jax’s hand in the steps for a running stomp to make Jax scream. Shayna looks conflicted but stomps on the arm anyway, meaning it’s higher pitched screaming. This was total destruction of Jax and should mean a pretty lengthy hiatus, which is a good thing at the moment.

Angel Garza/Humberto Carrillo vs. Mansoor/Mustafa Ali

Garza and Carrillo say they’re family and both rather handsome so why not team together. Ali gets taken down in a hurry to start, setting up a double slingshot suplex for two. Carrillo grabs an early chinlock but Ali is back up in a hurry for the tornado DDT. Mansoor and Garza come in with the former kicking him in the head. A belly to back suplex/top rope double stomp combination gets two on Garza with Carrillo making the save. Everyone heads outside with Garza posting Ali HARD (that was a great sound) and it’s a Muta Lock/dropkick combination to finish Ali at 2:43. I’ve wanted more Garza for a bit and this worked.

Video on Karrion Kross.

Rhea Ripley and Nikki Ash come out to tell us about how great Connor’s Cure really is. They dedicate their Women’s Tag Team Title shot to the sick children and hold up a V for victory over cancer. Ignore Rhea partially forgetting her lines here, as she seems to be rather emotional about the whole speech.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Natalya/Tamina vs. Nikki Ash/Rhea Ripley

Natalya and Tamina are defending (for the first time on TV for the first time in about four months) and I don’t like their odds here after that promo. Nikki gets knocked into the corner to start and Tamina stomps away as the champs control early. The Superfly Splash misses but it’s back to Natalya to cut Nikki off. Ripley takes Tamina outside and Riptides her onto the apron. That leaves Ash to small package Natalya for the pin and the titles at 2:15. That’s about as much hype as Natalya and Tamina’s reign deserved as it came to an end.

We recap Charlotte throwing her version of Lillie in the trash.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground. Alexa Bliss brings out her guest for the week, and it’s a doozy: Charlotte. After picking up a microphone off the rocking horse, Charlotte says she would rather remind people that Bliss used to be a competitor. Bliss: “There she is ladies and gentlemen: the fun police.” Bliss wants a girl’s night between the two of them and Lillie, but there is no Charlie (Charlotte’s doll).

Worry not though because Bliss has Charlie….who gets a chant of her own. Charlotte wants the real Alexa Bliss, because this is just a way to hide how fragile Bliss really is. Start by getting rid of the black lipstick and then realize that Lillie is more popular than Bliss. How did Charlotte go from main eventing Wrestlemania to playing with dolls on Raw? She has beaten everyone and now she has to beat an adult who has to dress like a kid. Should she beat Bliss up tonight or wait until Sunday?

Bliss mocks Charlotte for being the best ever and points out that Charlotte has lost more titles than any woman ever. Without a title, who is Charlotte anyway? Without a title, she doesn’t have anything and her insecurities are stamped right on her forehead. Bliss says that’ not original, with Charlotte saying they don’t want to get into the whole lack of originality thing. Bliss calls her a narcissistic little b**** and says at least she knows who she is. You can call her crazy, but on Sunday, you can call her champion.

Charlotte shoves her so Bliss charges, earning herself a big boot. Charlie is ripped apart but Bliss gets up before Charlotte can get to Lillie. The DDT sends Charlotte running. The stuff where they were actually saying things to each other was good, but then it becomes about the dolls all over again and any positives are completely lost.

Drake Maverick and the usual band of idiots have a whiteboard plan to capture Reggie. A net is involved and they capture Drew Gulak instead. Reggie escapes and Maverick is livid.

Sheamus vs. Jeff Hardy

If Hardy wins, he’s in the US Title match at Extreme Rules and Damian Priest is on commentary. Sheamus grabs a headlock takeover to start and then hits a shoulder to put him down again. Jeff drives him into the corner but has to elbow his way to freedom. That’s enough to send Sheamus outside but Poetry in Motion is countered into a drop onto the apron. Sheamus rips the face shield off and we take a break.

Back with Hardy hammering away and getting two off a middle rope splash. Sheamus kicks him in the face and nails the top rope clothesline for two. The knee to the face gets the same but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Twist of Fate. The Swanton hits knees though (egads that looked bad) but Hardy grabs a sunset flip for the pin at 9:02.

Rating: C+. I can go for these two having a nice match like this and that’s what we got here. Hardy being added to Sunday is a good idea as we’ve done Sheamus vs. Priest before and it is a good idea to add something fresh. I’m not sure what to expect on Sunday and that’s the right way to go.

Post match Sheamus goes outside to yell at Priest and the fight is on.

Bobby Lashley vs. Roman Reigns vs. Big E.

Non-title and Lashley and Big E. start brawling to start fast. Big E. takes him to the apron for the splash as Reigns stands back and watches. Some trash talking takes too long though and Reigns hits the apron dropkick on Big E. as we take an early break. Back with Big E. grabbing an abdominal stretch on Lashley until Reigns breaks that up. Reigns’ jumping clothesline drops Big E. for two but Lashley breaks up the apron dropkick.

They head back inside with Reigns hitting a heck of a Samoan drop for two on Big E. as Lashley is back up. Reigns takes Lashley up top but Big E. turns it into a Tower of Doom as we take a break. Back with Big E. throwing Reigns around with some suplexes until Lashley breaks that up. A delayed vertical suplex drops Reigns bug Big E. takes them both down and hits a double Warrior Splash.

The Big Ending rocks Reigns but Lashley pulls Big E. outside and puts him through the announcers’ table. Back in and Reigns Superman Punches Lashley to break up the spear but Lashley’s second attempt connects. Big E. breaks up that cover but has to block the Hurt Lock. Reigns makes the save with a Superman Punch and Big E. hits the spear to drive Reigns through the ropes. Back in and the Big Ending hits Reigns but Lashley breaks it up with a chair. Lashley unloads on Big E. with the chair….and walks into a spear to give Reigns the pin at 20:10.

Rating: B. This worked very well as they followed the formula for most good triple threat matches: let a bunch of people hit each other really hard until one scores a fall. At the same time, this probably sets up a chairs match between Lashley and Big E., which certainly works as a Raw main event. Reigns winning over Lashley is fine here as a champion didn’t take a fall and it came at the end of a very hard hitting match. Rather good main event.

Overall Rating: C+. I rather liked this and I can’t remember the last time that has been the case with Raw. The biggest positive here was the lack of anything terrible. There were certainly flaws and some of the stuff didn’t make a ton of sense, but what matters the most is there was no moment where I wanted to switch to a good folk dancing competition. I have no reason to believe that the show is getting better in the long term (though the destruction of Nia Jax gives me a bit of hope) but for a one off show, I will absolutely take this over the drek we’ve been seeing for….well years really.

Results
Bloodline b. New Day – Spear to Woods
Doudrop b. Eva Marie – Basement crossbody
Randy Orton b. AJ Styles – RKO
Shayna Baszler b. Nia Jax – Kirifuda Clutch
Humberto Carrillo/Angel Garza b. Mansoor/Mustafa Ali – Muta Lock/dropkick combination to Ali
Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash b. Tamina/Natalya – Small package to Natalya
Jeff Hardy b. Sheamus – Sunset flip
Roman Reigns b. Big E. and Bobby Lashley – Spear to Lashley

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 16, 1999: The Really Big Debut

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 1999
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

My seemingly never ending quest to finish this year continues a mere eleven and a half months after the last two episodes. It’s the go home show for Summerslam and we are gearing up for Chyna getting her shot at the WWF Title against Steve Austin. That was the big story coming out of last week, as it was much more important than Chris Jericho’s debut. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Steve Austin having been attacked and Chyna becoming the new #1 contender for the WWF Title at Summerslam. If that sticks for more than two hours, I’ll be stunned.

Opening sequence.

Here is former #1 contender HHH, who is not happy with Chyna’s recent success (but he should be happy that he can rock some shorts). HHH wants the focus where it belongs and brings out Chyna. With Chyna in front of him, HHH talks about everything that Chyna has been through to get here and wants her to bask in her glory. HHH talks about how Chyna qualified for the Royal Rumble and he had a limo full of flowers for her. Then she qualified for King of the Ring and he got her an emerald ring (though he does not sound thrilled with any of this).

HHH talks about how he has always given to her, just like she has always done to him. Over the years though, he has never asked Chyna for anything…until now. What he wants is for them to have a match for the #1 contendership right now and Chyna can lay down for him. Chyna: “No.” HHH isn’t happy with that and says he made her so he can break her. He isn’t having this and is flat out telling her that he is getting the title shot. Chyna says he doesn’t have the right anatomy to beat her and the match seems to be made for later tonight.

Chris Jericho can’t find the stage.

Road Dogg vs. Al Snow

Dogg does his usual intro and Snow has his dog Pepper with him, which he hands to Lawler. This results in some screaming as the dog seems to be a bit wetter than usual. Dogg hammers away in the corner but Snow is right back with the arm trap headbutts. A slingshot legdrop hits Dogg again as we cut to a closeup of Pepper’s face for a pretty hilarious transition. Snow misses the moonsault and it’s time for the dancing punches….with the big one hitting the referee. Cue Big Boss Man to hit both of them with the nightstick and Dogg falls on top for the cheap pin.

Chris Jericho does NOT need his hair done. It’s already magnificent.

Here are Big Show and Undertaker, the latest monster pairing, along with Paul Bearer. Undertaker tells everyone to sit down and shut up because there is a Tag Team Title match tonight. It isn’t going to matter though because they are going to win the titles on Sunday. As for this week, Undertaker put Big Show through his paces by making him ride a motorcycle through Death Valley. The catch is Show only has enough gas for half of the trip.

Undertaker caught up to him and asked how Show was going to survive, with Undertaker saying Show promised to…..stab him in the back, cut off his flesh and make a coat to walk across the desert. Undertaker left him alone though and waited at the edge of the desert, where Show came out with snakeskin boots and carrying his motorcycle on his back. With that disturbing story out of the way, here is Chris Jericho of all people to interrupt.

Jericho says these two giant slugs have been out here to send people into their own worlds. They can’t form a coherent sentence so Jericho is here to save this segment. The only thing amazing about the two of them is the amount of TV time they are getting to make everyone change the channel. Well you can stop changing the channel because CHRIS JERICHO IS HERE!!! Undertaker doesn’t know who Jericho is, but he looks like someone with less ring time than Undertaker has had shower time. What a bizarre interruption, but nothing was topping that nutty Undertaker story.

Post break Chris Jericho has found a follower in Howard Finkel. This could be glorious.

Chyna vs. HHH

For Chyna’s #1 contendership and they slug it out in a hurry to start. Chyna charges into a shot to the face in the corner though and HHH punches her down again. The DDT brings HHH back down for two but he is back up with the facebuster. The stomping is on in the corner and HHH hits the running knee. Back up and Chyna backdrops him to the floor for a breather. Cue Mankind (fresh off of knee surgery) to hit HHH with the steps to give Chyna the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a bunch of punching and kicking with HHH dominating until Mankind cost him the win. It’s still hard to imagine Chyna getting a World Title shot at Summerslam but they threw in a curve ball here. We’re in a rather different world at this point and it can be fascinating to see all of these twists and turns.

Post match Mankind chases HHH off before coming back in to grab a mic. Mankind knows that there has always been some sexual tension between the two of them in their revealing little outfits (Chyna’s stunned face here is great), but he wants a piece of Summerslam. Therefore, if Chyna has the testic…..ovarical fortitude, she’ll give him a shot at the #1 contendership tonight. A low blow seems to be a no, but she grabs the mic to flat out say no. Mankind: “You sure?”

Chyna goes to leave but here is Commissioner Shawn Michaels to interrupt. After calling her honey and buttercup, Shawn thinks everyone who crosses Chyna gets a certain part of their body crushed. Shawn has a special place in his heart for Mankind though and the match is on for tonight.

Test vs. Steve Blackman

Blackman takes him down to start but misses a jumping elbow. That earns Blackman a swinging neckbreaker but here is Shane McMahon (feuding with Test) for a distraction. Blackman hits a bicycle kick so Shane comes in with the kendo stick for the DQ despite not actually doing anything.

Post match the beatdown is on but Ken Shamrock runs in to go after Blackman. Shane’s save attempt fails so Blackman canes Shamrock down as well. The villains leave Test and Shamrock laying.

Steve Austin says you don’t bounce a cinder block off of his head without getting some payback so everyone is on notice. As for Summerslam, he could beat HHH in twenty minutes but it could take five minutes or fifteen seconds to beat Chyna. If it’s Mankind then so be it because he’ll beat anyone.

Tag Team Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Acolytes

Kane and X-Pac are defense and it’s a brawl to start with X-Pac and Faarooq fighting on the floor. That leaves Bradshaw to hit a top rope shoulder on Kane as Big Show and Undertaker are here to watch. A double shoulder drops Kane again but he’s fine enough to send Faarooq head first into the mat. X-Pac comes in and gets taken down with a bulldog but is right back with his flipping clothesline. That’s enough for the tag to Kane for some house cleaning, including the top rope clothesline to Bradshaw.

X-Pac has to be saved from a powerbomb but Bradshaw can connect with the fall away slam. The second beatdown sequence is on, including Faarooq nearly losing X-Pac on a very fast powerslam. Back to back neckbreakers give Bradshaw two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and X-Pac grabs a quickly broken sleeper. A spinwheel kick gets X-Pac out of trouble and it’s back to Kane as everything breaks down. The Clothesline From Bradshaw blasts X-Pac but Kane chokeslams Bradshaw to retain.

Rating: C. Totally watchable match here as X-Pac and Kane were good choices for the little man/big man combination. I don’t think there was any doubt about a title change, but that might be the modern fan in me talking as the idea of complete insanity often reigned at this point. Best match of the night by a mile though, which shouldn’t be a big surprise.

Post match the Acolytes lay out the champs.

Hardcore Holly tells someone we can’t see to come out when he says to.

The British Bulldog is coming back.

Here is Hardcore Holly for a chat. Holly talks about being backed into a corner and that is something he just does not like. That’s why he has taken it upon his super heavyweight self and gotten himself another super heavyweight. Therefore, he would like us to meet his cousin: CRASH HOLLY! Crash says Undertaker and Big Show have some real problems now and pats Hardcore on the face. That’s grounds for a fight and they’re already brawling on the floor, plus into the crowd.

Mankind talks about how he and Chyna have had a few things going on, but he would never hit a woman in the mouth. He will however put a sock in her mouth and become #1 contender.

Mankind vs. Chyna

For the #1 contendership and we see HHH being held back by referees. Chyna kicks Mankind into the corner to start but he switches places with her. Mankind can’t bring himself to throw a punch so he throws her down with something like a hiptoss instead. A low blow gets Chyna out of trouble and the DDT gets two as HHH is forcing his way closer to the arena. Chyna gets in a slam as HHH has made it to the stage. The distraction lets Mankind whip out Mr. Socko for the Mandible Claw and the win.

Post match HHH runs in for the brawl with Mankind but Chyna breaks it up, allowing HHH to go after Mankind’s bad knee. Referees come out to separate them and here’s Shawn Michaels to announce Mankind as the #1 contender. Cue Shane McMahon (who needs his own song so I don’t think it’s Vince) to say that there is a conspiracy against HHH so tonight, it’s HHH vs. Mankind for the #1 contendership with Shane as guest referee. Shawn says hang on a second because as the Commissioner, he’s going to be the other referee for the No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere match. That’s also known as a Russo Special.

The Hollies have fought outside and onto a production truck, where Crash slams Hardcore. After asking if Hardcore is ok and being told he is fine, Crash gets suplexed as the fighting continues.

Here’s Billy Gunn for a chat. He has had an allergic reaction to his a** treatment, which has been swelling a bit. He’ll still be at Summerslam though and the Rock is going to look even worse than his a**. Cue the Rock to say Billy is one big piece of chicken s*** and walk us through the start of their theme songs. The fans at Summerslam are going to point at the Rock and watch him layeth the smacketh down.

The Rock brings out a woman with some rubber gloves, who gave Billy a special massage last week. What Billy doesn’t know though is that she rubbed a certain part of Billy with the people’s poison ivy. With that out of the way, Rock tells her to pancake herself back to Chicago as Billy lays on the ropes for a bit of relief.

Rock has some options at the moment. He could get a bottle of calamine lotion, pour the lotion out, fill it with monkey waste and stick it inside Billy, or he could walk down to the ring (like this), listen to the millions chanting his name (like this), embarrass a jabroni who holds the Rock’s glasses (like this, with an IT DOESN’T MATTER), and check Billy into the SmackDown Hotel.

The fight is on with Billy finding a kendo stick and taking Rock out with a few hard shots. Billy even steals some of Rock’s catchphrases before shoving Rock’s face against….well you know. Two things here: it continues to amaze me how ridiculous Gunn’s gimmick was, and also Rock was really not doing much at this point. Seriously, Billy Gunn at Summerslam?

Post break, Rock promises to make Billy famous at Summerslam, including making Billy give him a special kiss.

Mankind vs. HHH

For the #1 contendership (third time tonight) with Steve Austin on commentary. Shawn Michaels and Shane McMahon are the guest referees and this is hardcore, because HHH and Mankind need that many things going on. They slug it out to start as Austin talks about how someone has FINALLY fired HHH up. Mankind hammers him down in the corner and hits the running knee as Austin sounds ready to beat up Lawler.

The fight heads outside with Mankind sending him face first into the steps and choking with a camera cord. HHH is back with a clothesline and pounds away against the barricade. A backdrop on the ramp gives Mankind two (er, four, as it’s a double two, which isn’t three) but here’s Chyna with a cheap shot to take Mankind down again. Mankind gets in his own low blow but HHH grabs a small package for two more on the ramp.

They head back back to ringside with HHH sending him knees first into the steps as Austin threatens to Stun Jesse Ventura on Sunday. The knee is stomped in a variety of ways and the Figure Four goes on, sending Mankind to the ropes. As Austin (accurately) asks why the hold is broken in a No Holds Barred match, Chyna gets in another shot to the bad knee, HHH knocks Mankind back to the floor. A posting cuts Mankind off again and it’s time to bring in a chair.

Shawn takes the chair away from HHH though (Austin: “WHAT WAS THAT???”) and a double arm DDT gives Mankind a breather. The argument is on between the referees so Mankind loads up Mr. Socko on HHH. That earns him a belly to back suplex onto the chair….and it’s a double pin, because A DOUBLE REFEREE NO HOLDS BARRED FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH CAN’T HAVE A STRAIGHT FINISH!!!

Rating: C. Of course these two had a decent match against each other but egads that was a lot to take in at once. The ending sets up what should be an obvious triple threat match for the pay per view, because WWE liked doing wacky things at this point. The ending was all kinds of insane, but you had to know that was coming with something this screwy.

Post match the argument continues until a triple threat title match is announced for Summerslam. Shawn leaves, Austin beats up Shane and Mankind brawls with HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah I’m not sure what you were expecting here as this show had three #1 contenders matches (which gave us two #1 contenders), the people’s poison ivy and all kinds of short run ins and no contests/DQ finishes. There is WAY too much stuff going on with this show and it’s the biggest problem with this era. Another very busy show with very little to show for it, save for Crash’s debut of course because that is historic.

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Monday Night Raw – April 16, 2007: Last Week This Week

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 16, 2007
Location: Datchforum, Milan, Italy
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have a special one here as the show is in Italy for the first time ever. That should make for a cool atmosphere if nothing else and that is almost always a good idea. For once though, Raw is on a roll as we move towards Backlash. If this show can continue that streak, they’ll be able to say…..however you praise something in Italian. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Coach to get things going. Coach isn’t happy with last week’s announcement of the Backlash main event, so therefore we’ll do his original idea tonight: John Cena vs. Rated-RKO in a handicap match. With that out of the way, Coach introduces Vince McMahon (again with the snappy hat). After saying he doesn’t understand any of the fans’ chants, Vince talks about how he has received a better reception from every other city in Europe. Milan is supposed to be the fashion capital of the world but look at these people and tell him that is true.

Vince insults the smell of garlic in the city and brings out Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada. We see a clip of Umaga and company destroying Bobby Lashley last week, followed by Vince announcing that Lashley is not here as he did not clear customs to enter the country. With that out of the way, Vince says he wants to see Umaga in action tonight, so someone can come out here and face him. With no one coming, Vince offers to make it an Intercontinental Title match.

Still no takers, so Vince asks for someone to come out of the crowd. A fan agrees and says si, he does understand English. The soccer chants are on and Vince explains the idea of a hold harmless clause. The fan is down with that and says his name is Santino Marella. Let’s do it.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Umaga

Marella is challenging and hammers away, including some kicks at the leg. Umaga misses a charge into the post and Santino is on a roll….but Vince remembers that this is no holds barred. Estrada offers a distraction and Umaga runs Santino over, allowing Estrada to get in some slaps of his own. Umaga hits a Vader Bomb but here is Lashley to slam Umaga off the top. The brawl is on so Vince grabs a chair, which Lashley takes away and blasts Umaga again. A spear cuts Umaga down and Lashley puts Santino on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. The match was nothing of course and there is nothing wrong with that. This was all about letting Lashley get one up on the villains and it worked out well enough. WWE gets a bit of fresh blood on their roster as well and Santino winning is certainly a surprise upset. Good angle, but nothing as a match.

The big celebration is on (which is weird with no music) as we take a break. Back with Jerry Lawler in the ring with Lashley and Marella. Lashley says he’ll keep his ECW World Title at Backlash, but tonight is about Santino. Some Italian cheap pops ensue as Santino isn’t a big talker to start.

Ric Flair talks to Carlito about the beautiful Italian women. Carlito is sorry for walking out on him last week but Flair says it’s ok. They’ll win tonight and get back in contention, though Carlito doesn’t seem convinced after Flair leaves.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Torrie Wilson is here with Flair/Carlito. Benjamin and Carlito start things off with Carlito hitting a hiptoss into a slam. Haas and Benjamin are cleared out in a hurry so Haas comes in to shoulder Flair in the corner. That doesn’t seem to bother Flair, who goes after Haas’ leg but Benjamin cuts him off.

The villains take over on Flair with Haas kicking and punching away. Flair gets taken into the corner for some alternating stomping but Flair suplexes his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Carlito to slug away as everything breaks down. The referee gets rid of Flair, allowing Haas to trip Carlito into Benjamin’s exploder for the pin.

Rating: C-. The problems continue for Flair and Carlito, who don’t seem to be long for the tag team ranks. You don’t often come back from the communication issues world and that looks like where they are now. I’m not sure what is next for either of them after they’re done with each other, but it isn’t like this is some epic story in the first place.

Post match, Carlito is incredibly frustrated and storms off, leaving Torrie with Flair (that seems like a really bad idea).

We look at Michael Pena setting up the four way at Backlash for the WWE Championship.

John Cena, who is REALLY not popular here, gives Maria a special look before talking about how there is one champ around here. Cue Shawn Michaels to say he was here to bail Cena out on the way to Wrestlemania. Now though, he doesn’t care what happens to Cena and next week, he’s leaving Cena on his back.

There is an Italian announce team at ringside and one of them looks like Tazz.

The Condemned has a villain.

Melina is getting ready for the Divas Fashion Show and Johnny Nitro is rather pleased. Cue Eugene to stare at her, which doesn’t please Nitro as much.

Great Khali is coming to Raw.

Johnny Nitro vs. Eugene

Nitro stomps away to start, both on the mat and in the corner. Some shots to the head set up a flipping neckbreaker to put Eugene away in just over a minute.

We look at Milan’s fashion industry.

It’s time for a Diva Fashion Show, featuring a guy named Paolo Marilla (he’s in a tuxedo and seems to be a big shot in fashion) as the host. First up is Candice Michelle with an angel’s wings dress. Victoria takes off her shoes and almost marches down the ramp. Mickie is in more regular clothes with I guess the higher fashion idea. Maria and Torrie Wilson are in rather limited clothing and Melina is in a dress we saw a few minutes ago. Torrie wins so Melina jumps her until Mickie makes the save. This was another reason to have the Divas in the ring together.

Jeff Hardy vs. Lance Cade

Matt Hardy and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Feeling out process to start with the referee having to yell at Cade for being too aggressive. Cade slams Hardy but misses a clothesline, allowing Jeff to hit Whisper in the Wind for two. Back up and Cade hits some knees to the ribs, with Murdoch adding a cheap shot for a bonus.

Jeff is back up with a dropkick through the ropes to take Murdoch down but Cade kicks him in the face. Matt chases Murdoch off after another cheap shot and a headbutt gives Cade two. An elbow to the face into a snapmare gets the same but Hardy is back up with the sitout jawbreaker. The yet to be named Sling Blade sets up the Swanton, which hits knees thanks to a Murdoch distraction. A clothesline gives Cade the upset pin.

Rating: C. It’s almost weird to see Cade getting a feature match but he was showcased fairly well here. It puts a bit of heat on the title match at Backlash, or at least as much can be put on a Tag Team Title match these days. Cade looked like a star here though and that’s a bright sign for his future.

The Condemned has stunts!

Here is Chris Masters to talk about various works of art here in Italy. There have been some amazing works, but none of the masters have ever created a masterpiece like him.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

They fight over a lockup to start with Masters powering him around. Back up and Masters sends him outside, setting up a big running flip dive. Back in and Masters avoids a moonsault (or “look at this move”) according to Lawler so the stomping can ensue. Masters whips him hard into the corner for two but has to counter a crucifix into something like a Samoan drop for two more.

The chinlock puts Crazy in more trouble and it works so well that Masters puts it on again. Crazy fights up and starts kicking at Masters’ legs for the break, setting up a standing flipping legdrop for two. Masters doesn’t seem to mind and catches him with a wheelbarrow suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I thought I would and a lot of that is due to Masters mixing things up a bit. Yeah he did the same offense until the ending but then it wasn’t the Masterlock for the first time pretty much ever. That has been one of the biggest problems with Masters for a very long time now so it is nice to see him throw in a curve ball. Crazy’s usual charisma made it even better so well done on a totally watchable match.

Rated-RKO blame each other for various things but tonight they are going to get on the same page to take out John Cena.

John Cena vs. Rated-RKO

Non-title. Edge starts for the team and gets caught in an early release fisherman’s suplex for two. Cena grabs a rollup for the same as he’s in desperation mode early on. A front facelock doesn’t get Cena very far as the fans are all over him. Orton comes in and gets taken down for two (with JR saying a pin would have been cool). Some forearms to the chest have Cena in trouble and he scores with a big boot (Has he ever used that before?) as Edge comes in to send us to a break.

Back with Edge knocking Cena off the apron and into the announcers’ table as the beating continues. Orton powers him back inside to hammer away and it’s back to Edge for a big boot of his own. Now it’s Orton getting to forearm away even more but Edge has to Edge-O-Matic his way out of an FU attempt. Cena knocks Edge off the top and hits the top rope Fameasser but Orton is right back in to cut him off.

Cue Shawn Michaels as Cena fights back, including the Shuffle to Edge. Orton dropkicks Cena to break up the FU on Edge and the referee gets bumped. Back up and Edge spears Orton by mistake. Shawn comes in and tries a superkick to Cena but takes Edge out instead. The FU to Shawn allows Cena to pin Edge and escape.

Rating: C-. Kind of a dull match here but the ending sequence got better. Part of the problem was that this was mainly spent on Edge and Orton slowly beating Cena down, which isn’t the most thrilling match. At least they gave us something interesting in the ending, but it was definitely a slower paced main event.

Overall Rating: C. You’re only going to get so much out of these international shows, with the opening segment being the only thing worth seeing. The rest of the show was completely watchable, but it’s not like the majority of it is all that great. Backlash is starting to take shape and we have Cena vs. Michaels set for next week, so call this a step towards the future without doing much on its own.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 13, 2021: Huge

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 2021
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re getting close to Extreme Rules and it seems we’re getting the main event really early. This time that means we are seeing Bobby Lashley defending the WWE Championship against Randy Orton in a match that was scheduled for the pay per view, which sounds like a way to set up a rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Mr. Money in the Bank Big E. as a guest star as RKBro comes out for a chat. Before they can even get in the ring, Bobby Lashley and MVP cut them off. Big E. says he’s cashing in but Riddle asks him to not do it on Randy. MVP doesn’t want to hear this because Big E. isn’t cashing in on anyone. This was supposed to be MVP/Lashley vs. RKBro for the Tag Team Titles but then Orton politicked his way into a title match. Orton is asked how he did that but Orton says he did it to throw Lashley off his game. Big E.: “We got two big meaty men bumping meat tonight!”

MVP calls Big E. a clown prince and says he is surprised Big E. showed up here. Maybe he is scared of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar, but after tonight, he will fear Lashley too. Orton says he’ll take the title with one RKO, with Big E. saying he’ll cash in after. Lashley threatens both of them and knocks the briefcase out of Big E.’s hand. The yelling is on but it’s an RKO to drop Lashley. Big E. sits in the corner as Lashley gets up and RKBro leaves. They need to do something after teasing this much, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen.

Charlotte doesn’t think much of Shayna Baszler, mainly because of Nia Jax being involved. She will have the title and the crown because Long Live The Queen.

Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler

Non-title, but it is a Championship Contender’s match, which is treated as more important around here at times. Earlier today, Nia Jax was annoyed at Baszler for costing her the Raw Women’s Title last week but they’ll be fine going forward. Maybe they can get some acting lessons together. Shayna goes after her to start but gets sent outside for the big slingshot dive to send us to a break.

Back with Baszler shaking the ropes to break up a moonsault but some elbows get Charlotte out of the Kirifuda Clutch. Baszler German suplexes the heck out of her for two and kicks away, which brings Charlotte back to life. A shot to the face staggers Baszler and Charlotte sends her outside for the moonsault.

Cue Nia Jax for a distraction though, allowing Shayna to send Charlotte into the steps as we take another break. Back again with Charlotte starting in on Baszler’s knee but missing a middle rope knee to the knee. Nia gets up on the apron to distractions Shayna so Charlotte can hit a big boot for the pin at 14:25.

Rating: C+. It was a fine back and forth match but egads I’m done with trying to care about Nia and Shayna fighting. This has been going on for the better part of a year now and for some reason they keep at it, despite it being WAY past time to have them go their separate ways.

Post match Charlotte stays in the ring and here is Alexa Bliss, carrying both Lillie and a present. It’s a gift for Charlotte, but she doesn’t think Bliss knows her taste. Charlotte collects titles instead of dolls and at some point you have to leave your dolls at home. They do a near cartoon exchange of “you want it/no I don’t” until Charlotte accepts the present. Charlotte: “Well it’s not ticking.” And it’s a Charlotte style Lillie doll, which Bliss names Charlie.

Bliss wanted Charlotte to have someone to play with after she takes the title at Extreme Rules. Bliss: “She’s even a narcissistic little b**** like you!” Charlotte doesn’t want the doll and she’ll send Bliss a Mattel Charlotte figure when she is in the padded room. The fight is on and Bliss kicks her out to the floor. Back in and Bliss grabs a Code Red to send Charlotte running. This was another case of insane things being said as written by bad writers and going WAY too nuts to make it work. Oh and check off the “woman called a b****” spot on your cards.

Video on Randy Orton.

Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal/Veer/Shanky

We come back from a break with Mahal and company triple teaming McIntyre until the Raiders run in for the save. The bell officially rings and it’s Veer Thesz pressing Erik to keep control. Erik knocks Veer away to hand it off to McIntyre to clean house. The overhead belly to belly sends Veer flying on the floor but the top rope right hand misses. A spinebuster plants Mahal but Shanky comes in to deck McIntyre from behind. That’s fine with McIntyre, who plants him with a Michinoku Driver. The Claymore drops Shanky for the pin at 2:38. That’s how I like my Mahal matches.

We get a New Day reunion in the back with Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston insisting that Big E. deserves the title. Singing ensues.

Reggie runs through the back to escape the usual band of idiots. R-Truth and Akira Tozawa tell Drake Maverick that his plan didn’t work. Maverick says the problem was in the execution. Truth and Tozawa argue.

US Title: Damian Priest vs. Jeff Hardy

Priest is defending and says he’s doing this despite facing Sheamus at Extreme Rules. Speaking of which, cue Sheamus to join commentary before we get started. Priest knocks Jeff down to start but Jeff avoids an armdrag. Both of them counter a signature move or two and Priest smiles at the standoff. A jumping back elbow staggers Hardy, who is back up with a shot to the knee and the legdrop between the legs.

Hardy calls for the Twisting Stunner but has to settle for kicking Priest outside. Priest gets dropped again and we take a break. Back with Hardy reversing a belly to back superplex into a crossbody, with Hardy mainly landing on Priest’s neck for two. With Priest still being able to move, they slug it out from their knees until Hardy cradles him for two. A Sling Blade gives Jeff the same and the middle rope splash gets two more as Priest is rocked.

Back up and Priest hits a hard spinwheel kick for two of his own but Hardy catches him on top. Priest knocks him down though and hits a middle rope (from the middle of the apron rather than a corner) leg lariat for another near fall. Hardy gets his own two (Sheamus INSISTS that it was three) but Priest is back with the Reckoning for the pin at 11:14.

Rating: B-. This is another example of why I don’t get how WWE has nothing for Hardy on a more frequent basis. He can work well with just about anyone so why is he stuck on Main Event at best most of the time? At least they did something here and gave him a chance for a nice match. Now just do something more frequently.

Post match, Sheamus comes in and takes out both of them with ease…or at least until Priest pump kicks Sheamus in the face.

Nikki Ash thinks she and Rhea Ripley need to have a special celebration but Ripley is ready to beat Natalya. Cue Natalya and Tamina with the former saying they dominate eras. The fight is on and here is Sonya Deville to announce another match for right now. It’s not a title match, meaning we are looking at 112 days since Natalya and Tamina defended the titles in a televised match.

Tamina vs. Nikki Ash

Natalya and Rhea Ripley are here too. Tamina throws her around with straight power to start but Nikki gets in a few shots. That means a huge clothesline to cut her right back down and Tamina grabs the chinlock. Nikki fight sup again and kicks out the leg so Tamina hits her so hard in the face Tamina’s own hand is hurt. Another comeback attempt works a bit better as Nikki knocks her into the corner and manages a running headscissors. Tamina punches her right back down but Nikki grabs a quick tornado DDT for the pin at 4:44.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one, but what were you expecting? This was the latest edition of Tamina Is Awesome and that doesn’t make for much of a match. This is another example of the lame way to build up a Tag Team Title match and I’m sure the next match will be just as effective, because this rarely works well at all.

Post match commentary treats this as a huge upset because the Raw women’s division is badly put together. Tamina and Natalya jump Nikki, take out Rhea, and send Nikki into the barricade.

Natalya vs. Rhea Ripley

Joined in progress with Rhea in trouble and no Nikki in sight. Rhea fights up and they run the ropes until Natalya calls her a b****. They fight over some near falls each and Natalya snaps off a headscissors. Ripley blocks a Russian legsweep with elbows and a big boot to put Natalya on the floor. The running dropkick sends Tamina into the steps but Natalya uses the distraction to deck Ripley.

Back in and Ripley has to fight her way out of a Sharpshooter attempt and they’re right back on the floor. A snap suplex plants Rhea and we take a break. Back with Rhea blocking the Sharpshooter again, this time reversing into a small package for two. Tamina comes up for a distraction so here is Nikki Ash to trip Natalya down. Natalya’s rollup with feet on the ropes is broken up as well so it’s a headbutt into the Prism Tap at 11:57.

Rating: C. Better match but it’s the exact same idea to set up the Tag Team Title match. At some point it stops mattering because the titles have no value, which has been the case for a very long time now. Natalya and Tamina don’t defend the things so why should I suddenly care after not having any reason to for months?

We recap the opening segment.

We look at Alexa Bliss giving Charlotte Charlie.

Charlotte throws Charlie away.

Mansoor/Mustafa Ali/New Day vs. Mace/T-Bar/AJ Styles/Omos

Mace and T-Bar promise violence. Mansoor armdrags AJ down to start and then dropkicks him into the corner. It’s off to Kofi to stomp AJ down and the Unicorn Stampede is one. Ali doesn’t like Mansoor getting into this though, allowing AJ to grab a suplex. T-Bar comes in for a cyclone boot but it’s off to Mace to throw a lot of big boots. Mace and T-Bar take out Ali again on the floor and a belly to back suplex gets two inside.

We take a break and come back with Mansoor fighting out of a chinlock. The enziguri isn’t enough for the hot tag though as AJ comes in and grabs the ankle. Another enziguri is enough to set up the diving tag to Kofi. A missile dropkick gives Kofi two and the frog splash to AJ’s standing back gets two.

Everything breaks down to set up the parade of secondary finishers until Kofi rolls AJ up for two. Ali tags himself in and hits the tornado DDT….to send him over to Omos for the dramatic tag. The whole team combined can’t get Omos down so it’s the chokeslam to finish Ali at 11:04.

Rating: C+. This got some time and that helped the match get a lot better. A match with this many people involved needs the extra time and Omos wrecking the team was an effective ending. It makes sense to go with fallout from such a big mast last week and everyone had something to do here, so well done.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

MVP and Lashley aren’t worried about Big E. If he wants to add his name to the list of people who can’t stop Lashley, they would be glad to take care of him. Big E. comes in for some booing and hissing because he is cashing in tonight.

We recap Doudrop vs. Eva Marie, with Doudrop finally standing up to the bully and crushing her a few weeks ago.

The Draft is coming in October.

Doudrop vs. Eva Marie

Eva slugs away to start but bounces off of Doudrop when trying a shoulder. The backsplash misses for Doudrop but Eva can only cover for one. Doudrop shoves her into the corner to escape what looked to be Sliced Bread and there’s a corner splash. Eva goes for the eyes but a rollup just gets a glare from Doudrop. Now the backsplash connects and the running basement crossbody finishes Eva at 1:58.

Karrion Kross says most of us don’t know who we are, but we know who we want to be. We see some highlights of Kross destroying people and he loves every second of their agony. Maybe he doesn’t have an ultimate plan and he’ll just wreck everyone to take what he wants. Everyone will fall and pray.

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and MVP/Riddle as the seconds. They head outside early on where Orton has to save Riddle by sending Lashley into various things. A ram into the announcers’ table gives Orton one back inside but Lashley sends him into the corner. Lashley misses a charge into the post but he is fine enough to counter the hanging DDT. Orton gets sent outside and comes up holding his leg, only to be fine enough to drop Lashley onto the barricade. A clothesline sends Lashley over said barricade and we take a break.

Back with Orton forearming away and hitting a superplex to send them both crashing down. The delayed near fall sends Lashley outside, where he picks Orton up and sends him head first into the post. Back in and a running shoulder hits Orton’s ribs in the corner to drop him in pain. A neckbreaker gives Lashley two and we hit the chinlock. Orton fights up and hits a heck of a clothesline, setting up the scoop powerslam for two.

The RKO takes too long to set up though and Lashley hits the spear for the big near fall. The Hurt Lock doesn’t go on and it’s the RKO to drop Lashley…who rolls to the apron, with an assist from MVP. Orton gives MVP an RKO and the fans are WAY behind him…until another spear retains the title at 13:18.

Rating: C+. You had two talented guys getting some time here and it worked well as a result. I liked the match and even though it was unlikely that Orton was going to win, there was just enough of a chance and that makes things so much better. They built up how fresh of a match this was and while that wasn’t a game changer, it was a nice detail to remember.

Post match the brawl is on again with Riddle making the save. That earns him a beating as well, so Lashley puts him through the announcers’ table. Lashley comes up holding his knee though….and it’s cash in time!

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Big E.

Lashley is defending….or he would be if not for his knee injury. Big E. slaps him in the face and that’s enough to ring the bell. Lashley takes him to the mat and the brawl is on. A spear cuts Big E. down for two but he goes back to Lashley’s bad leg. The Big Ending gives Big E. the pin and the title at 1:18!

New Day comes out to celebrate and a lot of pyro goes off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a tricky one to grade as they threw a lot of stuff out there and there was definitely a different energy to the show. That being said, there were a lot of the same old dull booking tropes on here (tag partners facing each other, partners not getting along, feuds that won’t end when they need to) and they didn’t make things better. At the same time though, Big E. just won the WWE Championship. Lashley didn’t need to drop it though and that opens some doors for the future. I love the ending, but the rest of the show was a more energized version of a lot of the same problems they have had for years.

Results
Charlotte b. Shayna Baszler – Big Boot
Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders b. Jinder Mahal/Veer/Shanky – Claymore to Shanky
Damian Priest b. Jeff Hardy – Reckoning
Nikki Ash b. Tamina – Tornado DDT
Rhea Ripley b. Natalya – Prism Trap
Mace/T-Bar/AJ Styles/Omos b. Mansoor/Mustafa Ali/New Day – Chokeslam to Ali
Doudrop b. Eva Marie – Basement crossbody
Bobby Lashley b. Randy Orton – Spear
Big E. b. Bobby Lashley – Big Ending

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 9, 2007: Make A Match

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2007
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially done with the Wrestlemania victory lap week and that means it is time to start getting ready for Backlash. That could mean more than a few things, but it certainly feels like Wrestlemania fallout is in full swing. Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley and John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels are both continuing and that is likely to be your focus this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Shane McMahon to get things going. Shane talks about the power of the McMahon name and usually it is greeted with respect. Lately though, it has been greeted with laughter due to what happened to Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania. Tonight is about the McMahon Family dynasty though and it is time to restore honor to the name. Shane calls out Bobby Lashley and his request is granted in a hurry.

Since the McMahons have lost their dignity, Lashley needs to lose what matters to him the most. Therefore tonight, Lashley is defending his title against Shane himself. Cue Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada, but Shane says he’d doing this on his own, even getting in Umaga’s face and slapping Estrada. Lashley is down with the title match, but wants Shane’s hair on the line too. That’s cool with Shane, who is showing some moxxy here.

Mickie James/Candice Michelle vs. Melina/Victoria

Candice starts with Melina but she wants Mickie instead. That’s fine with Mickie, who gets punched in the face almost immediately. Mickie takes her into the corner and brings in Candice to start working on the arm. Candice chokes her on the ropes but Victoria gets in a cheap shot to take over without much trouble.

Victoria ties her in the Tree of Woe and egads the crowd is quiet here. Something like an upside down Bronco Buster gives Melina two and it’s time to stretch both of Candice’s arms at once. Victoria misses the slingshot legdrop though and Mickie comes in for a neckbreaker. Everything breaks down and the MickieDT finishes Victoria.

Rating: C. Totally watchable match here as they kept it short and didn’t have Candice on offense that much. Mickie and Victoria can do whatever they need to in the ring and Melina is getting better. Candice is still a work in progress but she has improved and that is a good sign for her future.

We look at Vince McMahon getting his head shaved at Wrestlemania.

Mick Foley is with Michael Pena, a kid who is tonight’s General Manager (thanks to Make-A-Wish). The Highlanders comes in and introduce themselves, with Foley suggesting Pena put them in a wild match. Instead, Pena meets Maria, which goes a bit better. Pena looks at the camera and gets the cheap pop for praising Bridgeport. The more I see of these Make-A-Wish moments, the more I see why the wrestlers rave about them. They’re just cool, especially with the smiles on the kids’ faces.

Ric Flair and Carlito come out for a match, but first, Carlito reminds Flair of the time that he said Carlito had no heart or passion. That made Carlito angry, but you don’t get a wake up call from the 16 time World Champion very often. Carlito talks about how important it is to see someone who paved the way and we get a clip from the Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen DVD (Flair: “MY SHOES COST MORE THAN YOUR HOUSE!”). Back in the arena, Flair is touched and Carlito says that once they win tonight, they get a Tag Team Title shot at Backlash. That’s cool.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Torrie Wilson is here with Flair and Carlito and the winners get the Backlash Tag Team Title shot. We’re joined in progress with Flair chopping away at Cade, who cuts him off with a jumping clothesline. Murdoch comes in and hammers away on Flair, including a slap to the back (that’s a different one).

A belly to back suplex gets two on Flair with Carlito making the save. The neck crank goes on but Flair fights up and starts chopping away. The hot tag brings in Carlito to clean house, including the knee lift into a clothesline for two on Murdoch. Everything breaks down and Carlito misses his springboard back elbow. With Flair on the floor, a High/Low gives Murdoch the pin on Carlito.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here with Flair getting to come in and do his chopping, though another loss doesn’t exactly make Carlito look great. The tag division isn’t all that deep in the first place, though Cade/Murdoch vs. the Hardys should be good. I don’t know if Flair and Carlito have much of a future, but at least it gave Flair something to do.

Post match Flair goes to console Carlito, who walks out on him. It’s not like this was going to be some long term story or anything so they aren’t quite cutting it off too soon.

Video on the Condemned. Egads I’m getting See No Evil flashbacks with all of this hype.

Coach tries to talk Shane McMahon out of the title match and is basically told to mind his own business.

Shawn Michaels is tired of how things have been around here so he is going to start telling it like it is. Tonight he is facing Randy Orton in a #1 contenders match and it is going to be about who wants it more. Randy Orton comes in and says Shawn’s days as the top contender are over. Shawn says Orton wins because he is the 1000th man to say Shawn can’t win around here. Orton’s prize: some new teeth after Shawn kicks his out of his mouth.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Shawn finally comes out to his own theme instead of the DX song. Shawn’s headlock is countered so he grabs a hammerlock instead. Orton gets smart by grabbing the arm to escape, earning herself a headlock takeover. Somehow Shawn’s eyes has been busted open and Orton slams him down but misses a knee drop, allowing Shawn to start in on said knee. We hit the leg crank as they’re still in second gear at most. Orton kicks Shawn away and into the post to take over but here is Edge to watch as we take a break.

Back with Orton hitting a backdrop and elbowing Shawn out to the apron. The leg keeps giving Orton problems but he’s fine enough to hit the hanging DDT for some near falls. Orton grabs the chinlock but Shawn doesn’t waste time before coming back up to escape and hit the swinging neckbreaker. The flying forearm hits the referee but Shawn doesn’t seem to mind and hits the top rope elbow anyway.

Edge offers the distraction though and Orton gets in a Cactus Clothesline. Orton doesn’t like Edge being out there so he throws Shawn back inside and takes a swing, earning himself a spear. Edge throws Orton and the referee back inside, where Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music. Another referee comes in to count the pin…but all four shoulders are down, as pointed out by the original referee. Therefore, Edge’s music plays as the referees aren’t sure who wins.

Rating: B-. This was a messy match with a lot going on with Edge and the two referees. I can go with doing something else to set up a bigger main event down the line though, as the four way at Backlash seems likely. Good enough for a first step though, which shouldn’t be surprising given who was in there.

Randy Orton storms into Shane McMahon’s office to rant about what happened. Shane tells him to go talk to Coach, because Shane has to worry about his hair.

Val Venis and Super Crazy sign autographs for Michael Pena when Cryme Tyme come in. They think they need a raise, but Foley says Pena can’t perform miracles. Johnny Nitro comes in and walks away without saying anything but here is Coach to get in Pena’s face. Coach says he makes the big decisions around here but Edge comes in to say he needs to talk to Coach about what just happened. With the two of them gone, Mick Foley and Pena suggest that they have something planned.

Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Non-title. Haas hammerlocks Matt to start but gets kicked into the corner for the tag to Jeff. The flip dive/fist drop combination keeps Haas in trouble and Jeff gets up, only to have Benjamin jump up and springboard kick him in the head (because Shelton can just do that). Benjamin comes in to grab the chinlock, which doesn’t even last as long as usual. Jeff fights up and makes the hot tag off to Matt as everything breaks down. Poetry in Motion into the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Benjamin.

Rating: C. That certainly was a Hardys match and I’m not sure what else to say about it. They played the hits and they all worked, but it wasn’t like this was anything that they haven’t done a hundred times before. It was certainly good, but it felt like a way to say “hey, the Hardys are still here”.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge. Before we get anywhere, Edge wants to talk about what happened with Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton, because they both LOST. Edge has been talking to Coach and they both think that he should be the new #1 contender. Cue Orton to chase Edge off and say HE has talked to Coach too and HE should get the title shot. Now it’s Shawn coming out to say it’s his title shot because he is the better man.

We need the champ out here so it’s John Cena joining everyone. Cena says they all want title shots, but the last time Edge got a shot, it was in his match in his hometown and that didn’t work out for him. Cena is fine with beating him again though, which Edge likes. Orton has been complaining about never having a shot but whose fault is that? If Orton wants to dance, Cena isn’t hard to find. That leaves Shawn, who wants to recreate Wrestlemania, so Cena is with him.

Cue Coach to make a ruling: Cena will defend against Edge and Orton at Backlash in a handicap match….but here is Mick Foley to say hang on. See, Coach just isn’t in charge tonight, so here is Michael Pena to make the four way match at Backlash instead. That’s pretty cool and it’s rather sweet to see.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Shane McMahon

Lashley is defending and it’s title vs. hair. Shane jumps him before the bell and sends Lashley into the post to drop him on the floor. A running shoulder drives Lashley into the steps and there’s the bell so Shane can get two. Shane hammers away in the corner but gets tossed with an overhead belly to belly. There’s a t-bone suplex for a bonus….and then Shane punches the referee for the DQ.

Post match here is Umaga, flanked by Armando Alejandro Estrada and Vince McMahon, for the brawl. The big beatdown is on in a hurry, including the running hip attack in the corner and a chair shot to Lashley’s head. Lashley is busted open and Vince reveals the bald head. Vince rants at Lashley and says it’s 3-1 at Backlash for the ECW World Title. More beating ensues, including the Samoan Spike to end the show. So Shane gets his head shaved for losing by DQ right?

Overall Rating: C+. This show was about setting up Backlash and they nailed the two big matches in one night. That’s all they needed to do here and they even threw in the Michael Pena stuff to make it that much nicer. Raw has been on a role lately and they’re even maintaining it after Wrestlemania. I don’t expect it to last, but dang it has been fun for a little while.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 6, 2021: That Glaring Problem

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 6, 2021
Location: FTX Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s time to start getting ready for Extreme Rules as the show is in less than three weeks. You can probably guess where a lot of the card is going and that should make things a bit easier. There is some stuff taking place tonight as well, in the form of a rematch between Charlotte and Nia Jax. You know, since the first one was such a smashing success. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

New Day is ready for Tag Team Turmoil. They’ll win because New Day Rocks.

The Viking Raiders will raid the entire division tonight.

Mansoor is ready for Tag Team Turmoil but Mustafa Ali tells him to follow his lead.

Lucha House Party says it’s LUCHA TIME.

Mace and T-Bar say Tag Team Turmoil means six more victims.

Jinder Mahal and Veer are going to be the next champions.

AJ Styles and Mansoor can’t imagine Riddle (AJ: “Old Smoky Brain himself.”) being in charge of anything so they’re taking the titles back. Bring these things back regularly! It’s a ten second sound byte and you get to know the characters just a little bit. Why is that so much to ask for week to week?

Here is RKBro for a chat. After looking at a clip of the two of them retaining the titles over MVP and Bobby Lashley last week, Randy Orton says the win was due to Bobby Lashley being a greedy son of a b****. That’s behind them though, because it’s time to find out who they are facing next. Riddle goes over some of the teams, thinking they should borrow the look from various other teams. Orton looks like he is about to bite through is lip as Riddle suggests going on a raid and drinking ale, even though Orton looks like he has never had a carb in his life.

Cue MVP and Bobby Lashley to interrupt, with Lashley not being pleased with what Orton did to him last week. Lashley wants Orton one on one and he is interested because it has been 10-15 years ago since they fought. Orton is down, if that WWE Title is on the line. Lashley and MVP have a chat and the match is on for Extreme Rules.

That’s not all though, as Lashley and MVP are going to get into Tag Team Turmoil so Lashley can be a double champion. Cue New Day to say Lashley and MVP better hurry up because Tag Team Turmoil is starting right now. The odds are against them, but that was true a few weeks ago when Xavier Woods beat Lashley.

Tag Team Turmoil

RKBro is watching at ringside and New Day is in at #1 and the Viking Raiders are in at #2. Kofi jumps over Ivar a few times to start and elbows him into the corner. Ivar sends him into the corner instead though and Erik drives Ivar into Kofi for the big crash. Back up and Kofi slips away, allowing the tag to Woods. That’s fine with Erik, who sends Woods flying with a suplex. Woods is back with a tornado DDT into a superkick, with Kofi adding a spinning kick to the head for two.

Erik sends Kofi outside but Woods blocks the knee and comes up with a discus forearm. Kofi comes back in and dives onto the Vikings on the floor, only to be caught and thrown into Woods as we take a break. Back with Kofi striking away at both Raiders and hitting the Boom Drop on Erik. Ivar comes back in for the springboard elbow/belly to back suplex combination for a near fall. A hurricanrana gets Kofi out of trouble though and it’s back to Woods…who is powerbombed by Erik. The top rope splash gets two but Kofi takes out Ivar, allowing Woods to small package Erik to advance at 10:06.

Jinder Mahal and Veer, with Shanky, are in at #3 and Woods hits a fast high crossbody for two on Mahal. Veer comes in to run Woods over but Kofi gets cut off by Shanky on the floor as we take a break. Back with Woods kicking Mahal away and Kofi coming in with a kick to the head. Everything breaks down and Daybreak gets rid of Mahal and Veer at 17:17 total.

Lucha House Party, with new music, is in at #4. The luchadors start fast and moonsault off the apron onto New Day on the floor. Metalik splashes Woods from Dorado’s shoulders and Dorado wins a chop off. Dorado goes up for a high crossbody but Woods seems to counter into a Codebreaker….I think.

Commentary doesn’t seem too sure either but Metalik cuts off the tag anyway. The tag goes through a few seconds later anyway though and Kofi comes in with the top rope splash to Metalik’s back. Woods comes back in and gets taken down again, with Dorado hitting a moonsault for two with Kofi making the save. Woods cuts Dorado off with a faceplant though and Kofi cuts off the save for the pin at 21:46.

Mace and T-Bar are in at #5 and we take another break. Back again with Woods fighting out of Mace’s chinlock but getting chopped back up against the ropes. A running knee in the corner sets up a nerve hold to keep Woods in trouble. T-Bar comes in with an elbow to the face and a chinlock of his own as this is grinding pretty badly. Woods kicks his way to freedom but T-Bar sends Kingston into the barricade to cut him off. That leaves T-Bar to load up Feast Your Eyes, which is countered into a rollup to give Woods the pin at 30:15.

Hold on though as the big beatdown is on from Mace and T-Bar until Mansoor and Mustafa Ali are in at #6. Mansoor goes after Mace and T-Bar out of sportsmanship while Ali stays on the floor and asks what he’s doing. Mace and T-Bar wreck Ali and Mansoor, which somehow isn’t a DQ because reasons.

Mace holds up the steps and Mace is sent into the steps as Graves says Mace and T-Bar can’t be disqualified. That’s not how DQ’s work but it’s not like consistency matters in WWE. Everyone is down and we take another break, coming back with….well the match is on hiatus actually, as Sonya Deville and Adam Page have ruled that they will continue after New Day and Mansoor/Ali have had a breather.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

The winner gets a future US Title shot. Sheamus grabs a headlock takeover as Damian Priest is watching backstage. The forearms to the chest send McIntyre outside and Sheamus hits the top rope forearm to the head. Back in and McIntyre grabs a spinebuster for his own breather. McIntyre heads up top but Sheamus catches him with the top rope superplex and we take a break.

Back with McIntyre making a comeback and sending Sheamus into the corner, only to charge into a shot to the face. Sheamus pulls himself up top but gets belly to belly superplexed back down for two. McIntyre tries the Glasgow Kiss but hits Sheamus’ mask to knock himself silly. The Alabama Slam gives Sheamus two but he takes too long setting up the Brogue Kick (complete with McIntyre style countdown). The Futureshock gives McIntyre two and he sends Sheamus shoulder first into the post.

An armbreaker sends Sheamus to the ropes and the bad arm is snapped over the ropes. Sheamus is right back with a jumping knee to the face for his own very near fall. McIntyre grabs his own White Noise for two and they slug it out from their knees. McIntyre takes the mask off and kicks Sheamus down, setting up the Claymore, which is countered into a rollup with trunks to give Sheamus the pin at 14:49.

Rating: B. Two big guys beat on each other with one big spot after another for about fifteen minutes. That’s what you expect from a match like this and that’s what they gave you. Good match too, but would you expect anything else from them? Sheamus vs. Priest II should be fine, though it wouldn’t surprise me if McIntyre is added in to recreate last week’s triple threat.

Post match McIntyre hits Sheamus in the face with the mask and drops him with the Claymore.

Damian Priest is impressed by what we just saw because that was a fight. He’s going to enjoy Extreme Rules and he has Sheamus’ number. That means Sheamus is going to be hearing something new at Extreme Rules: “AND STILL United States Champion, Damian Priest.”

Nikki Ash is very happy about teaming with Rhea Ripley, who isn’t that enthusiastic. Ash thinks the team should be dubbed SUPER BRUTALITY and Ripley has to smile a bit.

Charlotte says she didn’t get splatted by Nia Jax last week so tonight she is going to beat Nia to retain the title. Not even the irresistible force can resist the Queen.

Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash vs. Tamina/Natalya

Champions Contenders match as I guess Shotzi and Nox’s title shot is on hold for the moment. Tamina powers Nikki around to start but Nikki is smart enough to take her down by the legs. Ripley comes in and ducks a swinging Nikki to kick Tamina in the face. The brawl is on but Natalya comes in. That’s fine with Ripley, who puts Nikki on her shoulders to swing into Natalya’s face.

Tamina sends Rhea into the steps though and we take a break. Back with Nikki kicking away from a Sharpshooter attempt and handing it back to Rhea for the clotheslines. A bridging northern lights suplex gives Ripley two and Nikki’s high crossbody gets the same with Tamina making the save. Natalya blasts Nikki with a discus lariat but Rhea makes the blind tag and hits Riptide for the pin at 9:29.

Rating: C-. I don’t care. The Women’s Tag Team Titles are the biggest joke in wrestling as Shotzi and Nox have beaten the champs THREE TIMES NOW but still can’t get a freaking title shot. I know WWE can’t keep their minds straight for more than two seconds because of the star power of TAMINA, but I’m sorry for not getting excited over another thrown together joke of a team who doesn’t see eye to eye but happens to win together getting a title shot. Maybe. One day. When WWE gets around to it. I mean, Natalya and Tamina haven’t defended their titles on TV since May 24, so I wouldn’t expect it soon.

Earlier today, Karrion Kross was on Moist TV. John Morrison asked what he was going to do next, with Kross saying he was going to make Morrison suffer. Morrison asks about going for various titles or opponents, with Kross saying that all sounds good. He’ll do all that, after he hurts Morrison tonight.

Karrion Kross vs. John Morrison

The Doomsday Saito drops Morrison to start but he gets to the ropes before the Krossjacket goes on. Morrison tries the Drip Stick and that does not seem wise. Kross backdrops him over the post for the crash and the Krossjacket knocks Morrison out at 2:00. Total destruction.

Video on Nia Jax.

Nia Jax doesn’t care about Charlotte and isn’t going to be bashed in the head with a crown this week.

Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and Nia has Shayna Baszler in her corner. The bell rings and Shayna grabs the mic, saying that she’s interested in seeing if Jax is going to choke. Charlotte jumps Nia and it turns into quite the scrap as we try to recreate last week. Nia tells her to pull her hair and Charlotte bails while seeming to throw in a crotch chop. Charlotte grabs her title and goes to leave but stops to yell at Shayna.

That’s enough for Nia to pull her inside and run Charlotte over. A superplex is countered into a powerbomb out of the corner to give Charlotte two and we take a break. Back with Charlotte hitting(ish) her moonsault to the floor but she has to stop and yell at Shayna. They head inside again where Nia hits a headbutt into a splash in the corner before taking Charlotte up top. Shayna offers another distraction though and Charlotte hits a super Natural Selection to retain at 8:22.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to think of this one but it’s nice to see Nia and Shayna seemingly being FINALLY ready to split. Charlotte and Nia teased another worked shoot deal here and while it wasn’t good, it was on a different planet than last week’s all time disaster. Charlotte gets away from Nia for now (in theory) and that’s the best thing for everyone involved.

Post match Alexa Bliss pops up on screen to invite Charlotte to come to the Playground. Lillie wants to try on one of the robes! Charlotte says no, with Alexa asking if Charlotte knows what it’s like to be stuck with a maniac. Bliss: “Of course you do. You’re a Flair.”. They’ll just bring the Playground to her, so here is Alexa, with Lillie, in the ring. Charlotte asks if Bliss wants a title match and says fine, but this is her playground.

We recap Reggie running away from R-Truth and Akira Tozawa over and over.

24/7 Title: Reggie vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa is challenging and Reggie is in street clothes. Reggie kicks him down and hits the running flipping seated senton to retain at 35 seconds.

Post match the usual gang of idiots comes in to go after the title so Reggie flip dives onto them and runs off. Drake Maverick cuts him off but R-Truth stops Maverick, allowing Reggie to run away again.

We recap Doudrop attacking Eva Marie in their non-match last week.

Doudrop liked beating up Eva last week and wants a rematch next week. The beating will be part of the Doudrop-alution.

Tag Team Turmoil

RKBro is at ringside again. We’ll continue with New Day vs. Mansoor/Mustafa Ali as Ali low bridges Kofi to the floor to put New Day in trouble. Woods comes back with a dropkick to Ali’s back though and Kofi grabs a superplex (off of Mansoor’s back) on Ali to send him outside. Woods’ back is too banged up for a fireman’s carry so Mansoor wants to give him a break but Ali tags himself in and kicks away. Kofi is right back in for a high crossbody on Ali but going after Mansoor takes too much time. Ali gets in a superkick and goes up top, only to miss the 450. Trouble in Paradise into Woods’ top rope elbow finishes Ali at 4:18.

AJ Styles/Omos are in at #7 and we come back after a break with Woods being whipped into the corner to damage his back even more. Omos comes in to stand on Woods’ back and send him into the corner again. A running splash from behind crushes Woods again and Styles grabs the chinlock. Woods fights up and sends Styles outside before a double clothesline gives us a double breather. Omos knocks Kofi out of the air though and we take a break. Back with Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise for two on AJ with Omos making the save. With Woods down, the Styles Clash finishes Kofi at 21:42.

Bobby Lashley and MVP are in at #8 to complete the field and it’s Lashley vs. AJ to get going. Lashley kicks him into the corner but AJ is back up with the Phenomenal Blitz into the Pele. Styles might have banged up his ankle though and it’s off to Omos to face Lashley. Omos wants the test of strength but has to pull his arms back in so Lashley can reach both hands.

The fans are WAY behind Lashley as he drives Omos into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Lashley can’t suplex him though and Omos picks him up for a delayed gordbuster. Lashley heads outside and starts yelling at Orton, allowing AJ to dive off of the announcers’ table onto both of them. Omos sends Riddle into the barricade and AJ takes out MVP. Back in and the Phenomenal Forearm misses Lashley, who spears AJ down for the pin and the title shot at 27:50 (2:28:27 total).

Rating: C+. That’s for both parts of the match as I try to figure out what I thought of the whole thing. It was certainly good with solid action and a nice story with New Day, but at the same time, it wasn’t like there were more than three teams with a real shot at winning. You knew it would be AJ/Omos, New Day or Lashley/MVP, and it wasn’t going to be New Day as soon as they started. What we got was good and I understand the break in the middle (a match that long is going to tank ratings in a hurry without one), but it was about a third of the show and that’s a long time on any one match.

Post match Omos gives Lashley the double chokeslam before leaving. Lashley gets up and it’s an RKO to leave Lashley laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The women killed this show and there is no way around it. You had the worthless Women’s Tag Team Titles, the Nia vs. Charlotte match, Bliss vs. Charlotte continuing and Doudrop vs. Eva Marie II being set up with only a two minute Karrion Kross squash to break things up. The wrestling was far from bad but the storytelling is so horrible that it is dragging down everything else.

As for the rest of the show, it ranged from good to quite good, with Sheamus and McIntyre having a hoss fight, Kross continuing his very slow and unlikely road to redemption, Reggie being crazy athletic and a really really really long gauntlet match. I like where some of the show is going and it is far from a disaster, but they need to blow up the women’s division and fast, because it is killing so much every week.

Results
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre – Rollup with trunks
Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash b. Tamina/Natalya – Riptide to Natalya
Karrion Kross b. John Morrison – Krossjacket
Charlotte b. Nia Jax – Super Natural Selection
Reggie b. Akira Tozawa – Running flipping seated senton
MVP/Bobby Lashley won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating AJ Styles/Omos

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 2, 2007: And Now, Everything Else

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2007
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania has come and gone and that means it is time for one of the other biggest shows of the year. Granted that is in theory at least as the tradition has only kind of been set so far. John Cena beat Shawn Michaels to retain the Raw World Title, but (possibly) more importantly, Vince McMahon is now bald. I sense fallout so let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

We don’t even open with a recap as here is John Cena to get things going. The fans really don’t sound happy to see him, but he holds the title up because the champ is here. Before he can say anything else, here is Shawn Michaels to interrupt. Shawn says this is like reliving a bad dream because he’s right here again. Last night wasn’t about sportsmanship or mind games and politics (Shawn: “BROTHER!”) but about winning and losing.

Shawn lost, but he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like having to stick out his hand and tell someone that they are the better man. That isn’t happening this time anyway because Cena ISN’T the better man. Cena: “Anytime, anyplace.” Shawn isn’t busy right now so Dayton, Ohio sounds like a good place for him. Hold on though as here is Coach to say the Tag Team Titles need to be defended, so let’s have a ten team battle royal for those titles.

Tag Team Titles: Battle Royal

John Cena/Shawn Michaels, King Booker/Finlay, Kenny Dykstra/Chris Masters, Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Cryme Tyme, Deuce & Domino, Elijah Burke/Matt Striker, Eugene/Jim Duggan, Highlanders, Chavo Guerrero/Gregory Helms

Cena and Michaels are defending and only one member has to be eliminated. We’re joined in progress with Dykstra being tossed to clear the ring out a bit and the general brawling is on. Deuce gets rid of JTG and Burke dropkicks Eugene out as we’re already down to six. Er, five as Guerrero and Helms are missing too, though I don’t know if they were even in there when we came back from the break.

Anyway the Highlanders are tossed as well and Deuce & Domino go after Shawn, earning themselves an elimination from Cena. Striker is out as well and there goes Van Dam after him, leaving us with Finlay/Booker vs. Cena/Michaels. Finlay clotheslines Booker by mistake so Cena sends Finlay to the apron, where Shawn can superkick him out to retain.

Rating: D+. To paraphrase Statler and Waldorf, it was boring, it wasn’t very good, it was….short. That’s how you need to run something like this, as while Cena and Michaels can drop the titles, they probably aren’t dropping them to most of these teams. You have a bunch of jobbers, a few teams who have vanished in recent weeks and a few teams who might have teamed together on Heat at most. Where exactly was the drama here?

Hold on though as here is Coach again to say we need to do this again, with NINE MORE TEAMS!

Tag Team Titles: Battle Royal

John Cena/Shawn Michaels, Hardys, Paul London/Brian Kendrick, William Regal/Dave Taylor, Kevin Thorn/Marcus Cor Von, Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero, Sandman/Tommy Dreamer, Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch, Val Venis/Viscera, Johnny Nitro/The Miz,

Cena and Michaels are defending and either Guerrero/Helms are working a double or Lawler got confused when he mentioned them being in the first battle royal and there were only nine teams. Anyway, it’s a big brawl to start and the mob can’t get rid of Viscera. Growing brains at the same time though, they toss Venis in a hurry and we’re down to nine. Regal and Taylor are gone and Dreamer/Sandman join them as we take a break.

Back with JR’s voice going in a hurry and the champs getting rid of Miz and Nitro (in their first time teaming together for some trivia)….and then Shawn dumps Cena. Well that’s a curve ball. It’s smart, but it’s a curve ball. Kendrick and Chavo eliminate each other (with no mention of London and Kendrick possibly becoming double champions) so we’re down to the Hardys vs. Cade/Murdoch.

Jeff goes stupid (shocking I know) by hammering away with right hands in the corner on Murdoch but manages to get back down. An atomic drop/big boot combination knocks Jeff silly but Matt cuts off the toss attempt. The Hardys hit stereo middle rope legdrops, setting up Poetry In Motion to get rid of Murdoch for the win and the titles.

Rating: C-. The Hardys winning is completely fine as they are the veteran teams who can get the titles back and then drop them to someone in a bigger match. There is some value in one more run with the Hardys as champions so this is about as safe of a way to go for the titles as you can have. Cena and Michaels didn’t need the titles to continue their story so letting them go and be built back up again is the right move.

Timbaland (music producer) is here and does not want to be on camera.

Shawn Michaels did that because he wants the WWE Title and nothing more. Randy Orton comes in to say Cena can’t beat Shawn, but not him. We’ll see about that.

Wrestlemania highlight package set to Ladies And Gentlemen. That really is a heck of a show.

We go to the back to see Vince McMahon….or at least from his eyes (as in his eyes are serving as the camera) as he walks down the hallway. He takes off his hat to show Maria and Candice Michelle his hat. They, uh, like it, though Eugene and Cryme Tyme laugh. Ron Simmons can barely get his catchphrase out, so Vince is going to the ring so he can yell at the people. Vince: “I HATE TRUMP!”

Here is Vince, in a snappy hat, and he tells Lilian Garcia to stay in the ring. Vince talks about what a travesty of justice took place last night at the hands of Steve Austin. Had it not been for him, Donald Trump would be bald. Therefore, by his authority, Wrestlemania DID NOT HAPPEN for him, so Lilian gets to announce Vince as the winner of the Battle of the Billionaires.

To further prove his point about having authority, Bobby Lashley is defending the ECW World Title against Umaga tonight. As for Vince, you won’t be seeing him bald tonight (Vince: “You like the hat?”) because he has had his hat surgically attached to his head until his hair grows back. It’s going to be fast too, because his surgeon says Vince has more testosterone than an all male prison. He is happy to disappoint everyone and there is no chance in h*** that you will see his bald head.

Cue Lashley to rib the hat off (Lawler: “HIS HEAD’S POINTY!”) so Vince covers up with a towel. That’s covered up as well, so Vince hides under Lilian’s skirt. Lashley rips that off and Vince runs away. This was the good old fashioned humiliation segment and Vince excels at them like no other.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Torrie Wilson is here with Flair and Carlito as JR’s voice is almost completely gone. Benjamin clotheslines Carlito to start but walks into a knee lift. A kick to the face drops Carlito and Haas drives him into the corner. More pounding sets up a Benjamin suplex for two but Carlito is back up with a springboard elbow to the face. The hot tag brings in Flair to start chopping away but Benjamin grabs a backdrop. Carlito breaks up the Broken Arrow though and it’s the chop block into the Figure Four to make Haas tap in a hurry.

Rating: C-. Totally basic tag match to get Flair and Carlito out there for a fast appearance. I know the team is just a short story to give Flair something to do but there is something nice about seeing him celebrating any kind of a win. Flair has won more titles than he knows what to do with, but he seemed happy to have won a nothing tag match on Raw. That’s kind of the point, and it is so often forgotten.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

Timbaland is here as a fan and wants to hear a WOO. Some of the Divas are going to be in his next video and he is making his picks soon. He seemed rather down to earth here and like he was having a good time.

Here’s Melina for a Special Photo Op. She thinks she should be in Timbaland’s video and he seems to approve. Last night she proved that Ashley was nothing more than a pretty face, and being Women’s Champion means more than posing in Playboy. Therefore, to commemorate her win last night, she is going to have a special photo op for the paparazzi. Cue Mickie James to lay Melina out, including with the jumping DDT.

Mick Foley talks about how much WWE does with Make-A-Wish. Next week, we are going to see a special wish granted. That’s always cool.

Great Khali vs. Super Crazy

Crazy goes right at him and hits a missile dropkick. That’s about it though as the double chokeslam finishes him in less than a minute.

Vince McMahon is mad about Bobby Lashley and adds Armando Alejandro Estrada to the Lashley vs. Umaga match. Estrada better not fail him.

We look at Shawn Michaels turning on John Cena, followed by the Hardys winning the Tag Team Titles.

The Hardys are happy to win their sixth Tag Team Titles.

JR’s voice is DONE as he introduces the video from the premiere of the Condemned.

Here is Edge on the stage, saying a lesser man would not be standing here tonight. It took everything he had to get himself out of bed this morning. Edge talks about how he knows he can beat John Cena, Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. They can call themselves whatever they want, but he calls himself the best. Everyone else can get ready to call him champion.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga/Armando Alejandro Estrada

Lashley is defending but gets jumped before the bell and sent face first into the steps. Umaga charges into an elbow in the corner and Lashley drives Estrada into the corner with a shoulder. That’s broken up from behind though and Umaga sits on Lashley’s chest for two. Umaga chokes away on the rope and cuts off a comeback with the Samoan drop. A kick to the face gives Umaga two more but Lashley is able to chase Estrada outside.

Another slugout goes to Umaga and Estrada gets a quick two. A splash gives Umaga two more and he punches a charging Lashley down. Some choking puts Lashley down in the corner but Umaga has to cut him off again. The running hip attack connects in the corner and Umaga loads up the Spike. The shouting takes a bit too long though and Lashley knocks it away, setting up a spear to Umaga. Estrada makes the save but Umaga splashes him by mistake. Another spear sends Umaga outside and the running powerslam retains Lashley’s title.

Rating: D. House show style main event here with Lashley not doing much besides punching and the spears. I like that they didn’t do the same match two nights in a row and the Estrada factor let Umaga save some face. Not a good match or anything close to it, but what more could you want in a match like this one? If nothing else, it was interesting to hear Lawler call a match on his own as JR’s voice was completely gone.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and a lot of the show felt like they were taking the night off. The big story was Shawn vs. Cena continuing and getting rid of the Tag Team Titles. It was a fast moving show, but you’re only getting so much when they’re more or less basking in the Wrestlemania glow. Not a great show, but an easy one to watch after the pressure over the previous weeks.

 

 

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