Monday Night Raw – June 1, 2020: Not Having It

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 1, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Backlash and that means it’s time to get the hard push going. They’re doing something right with Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley as last week’s brawl went pretty well. What matters is getting something else underneath that and pushing “the greatest wrestling match ever” isn’t really working. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Seth Rollins and company to open things up. Rollins talks about wanting to face Aleister Black soon but later tonight, it’s Rey Mysterio’s retirement ceremony. Rey won’t be here to retire himself though so Seth, as the leader, is going to appreciate Rey for the rest of us. See, Rey was a sacrifice for the greater good of Monday Night Raw, which was a moment that will live in time forever. Rollins has prepared a video on Rey’s career, which starts off as a nice tribute and then jumps to Rollins taking out Rey’s eye. Cue Black to deck Rollins and clear the ring.

Seth Rollins vs. Aleister Black

They slug it out to the floor to start with Black getting the better of things. Rollins hits a dropkick on the way back inside though and it’s time to stomp away. There’s a dropkick and Rollins talks trash about Black disrespecting Mysterio. Black is sent outside for the suicide dive into the barricade but Rollins misses an enziguri back inside. Black hits a kick to the head but gets backdropped over the top to land face first on the apron in a nasty looking crash.

Austin Theory and Murphy go after Black but here’s Humberto Carrillo (ERG) for the save with a chair before anything happens. Back from a break with Rollins choking away in the corner and slugging off a comeback attempt. The top rope knee to the head misses and Black slugs away with some more success. The Lionsault gives Black two and a German suplex is good for the same. Rollins gets in a low superkick into the Falcon Arrow for two more.

The frog splash hits knees though and they head to the apron for a kickoff. Black kicks him into the steps and hits a moonsault to the floor as we take another break. Back again with Rollins knocking Black off the top and hitting the frog splash for a delayed two. The Stomp misses though and Black grabs an armbar. That’s broken up so Rollins tries another springboard, only to get kneed out of the air. Humberto cuts off Theory and Murphy from interfering, allowing Black to roll Rollins up for the pin at 21:08.

Rating: B-. This felt long but the bigger problem is Rollins losing again. He’s one of the featured stars of the show and he hasn’t exactly won anything important in a good while. I do like Black getting a win though as it gives him a nice boost, though I’m not sure where he is supposed to go at the moment.

Post match the beatdown is on and Black has to watch Carrillo take the Stomp. Rollins asks if Black wants to be a hero and then Stomps him as well.

We look back at Angel Garza beating Kevin Owens last week.

Garza talks about how everything goes in love. In competition and seduction, you must always be one step ahead. He even has a rose for Charly Caruso, but Zelina Vega rips it up.

Shawn Michaels talks about Edge and Randy Orton because he knows about having the greatest matches ever. He picks Edge.

Video on Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley.

Lana again yells at MVP, who cuts her off and says he isn’t getting sucked into a bunch of attention seeking drama. She accuses him of trying to revive his career but MVP isn’t really phased. Lana calls him a leach, which MVP says means there are two of them. That earns him a slap but no screaming this time.

We recap the opening sequence.

Kayla Braxton brings out Apollo Crews for a chat. Crews talks about how it hasn’t sunk in yet but for tonight, he gets to pick his own opponent. Here’s the opponent for the title defense.

US Title: Apollo Crews vs. Kevin Owens

Crews is defending and Owens has a bad knee coming in. Before the match, Owens thinks Crews is giving him the title shot out of pity. Crews insists that he deserves it, but Owens says the first title reign will be a short one. They start fast with Crews hitting a dropkick for one but Owens is back with his own dropkick. A clothesline to the floor looks to set up the flip dive but Crews is smart enough to step to the side.

Crews’ moonsault off the apron misses so Owens hits a Cannonball off the apron instead. Back in and the Swanton gets two on Crews in a near fall. We pause for a quick injury to Crews, who was goldbricking so the slugout can be on. They fight out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Crews charging into a superkick but coming back with an enziguri for two. A corner splash connects but Owens knocks him down, only to have the Swanton hit knees. They’re both down so here are Andrade and Angel Garza for the double DQ at 10:24.

Rating: C. This was starting to get good near the end and at least Crews looks like a fighting champion instead of someone who loses in his first defense. That being said, it’s more interference to set up an impromptu tag match because that’s one of the favorites around here. A four way at Backlash wouldn’t surprise me.

Angel Garza/Andrade vs. Kevin Owens/Apollo Crews

Never let it be said that this company doesn’t change up something that they like. Joined in progress with Crews being stomped down and Andrade hitting a running knee to the face. Garza comes in for a kick to the face but Crews gets over for the hot tag to Owens. That’s fine with Andrade, who pops him in the face and grabs a half crab. Owens breaks it up and brings Crews back in for an Angle Slam to Andrade. Garza hits Owens in the knee, leaving Andrade to take the Toss Powerbomb for the pin at 4:59.

Rating: D+. It was the short form version of the same kind of match we’ve seen for years. There was nothing interesting here but at least Crews got a pin. Odds are it’s a four way for the title somehow, which could be a nice win for Apollo, assuming they don’t put it on Garza as fast as they can.

We recap the Viking Raiders vs. the Street Profits in various competitions.

Tonight, it’s bowling, with the Raiders being rather good at the game. The Profits are terrible for the sake of tying the score. The Raiders even provide beverages, in the form of goat’s milk. With the Profits not being able to hit a single pin, the Raiders raid the snack bar but don’t get thrown out because Ivar is cute. The Profits want the smoke so the lights get all flashy and the comeback is on. It’s 130-121 to the Profits with one Raiders ball to go, so Ivar is thrown down the alley and hits a strike to win by one pin. That ties the competitions at 2-2.

We recap the IIconics attacking Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss last week.

Cross/Bliss and the IIconics have to be separated in the back.

Nikki Cross vs. Billie Kay

Cross sends her into the corner over and over to start, setting up a basement dropkick for two. A big boot gives Kay two and she elbows Cross for the same. The kickouts are getting on Kay’s nerves so Cross slugs away and even hits a slingshot dropkick to the ribs. The missile dropkick doesn’t work though and Kay hits a sitout Rock Bottom for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: D+. They’re sticking with the greatest hits tonight as we get the challenger pins champion checked off the list. It’s an interesting idea to have the champs trying to fight two battles at once and coming up a bit short though so points for trying something different. And having the champions actually do something of course.

Drew McIntyre is ready to Claymore MVP again if that’s what he wants.

Rey Mysterio joins us via satellite and says he isn’t sure when he’ll be back. If the wound is infected, his career is over. His retirement isn’t in his hands anymore and he may never be cleared to compete again. As for Seth Rollins, he certainly has a lot of negativity for someone who claims to be a messiah. Dominick comes in to say that someone from this family needs to fight back and no he won’t calm down. Rey isn’t happy with what Rollins has put his family through and leaves. Dominick stays and says an eye for an eye.

Here’s Nia Jax to say she didn’t start this with Kairi Sane. This is all smoke and mirrors, just like Asuka’s title reign. Asuka is champion because of Becky’s hormones and now Nia is the victim in all of this.

We recap R-Truth and Rob Gronkowski arguing over the 24/7 Title.

Earlier today, Gronkowski was doing a Tik Tok photo shoot when R-Truth, as the gardener, rolled him up to steal the title back. Good. Now stay gone.

Kairi Sane vs. Nia Jax

Nia shoves her down to start and pats her on the head, earning a shot to the face. Sane gets in a sleeper but Jax slips out, leaving Sane to kick away at the back/shoulder. Back up and a headbutt catches Sane on top but she pulls Jax down with a DDT for one. The sliding elbow in the corner looks to set up the Insane Elbow but Jax rolls outside. Sane’s slide is countered and Jax sends her head first into the steps. Back in and the big leg finishes Sane in a hurry. This would be the match where Sane was busted open badly so they did a nice job with the editing there.

Rating: C-. Now stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but Nia is laughing off the idea that anyone could beat her and is being all dominant as she heads into a title shot. That feels like the only story that they know how to tell with her and it gets a little tiresome seeing it every single time. That’s the same problem that so many stories have these days and it’s not going away.

We look back at Edge’s comments on Randy Orton last week.

Orton talks about Ric Flair calling him the best to ever lace up a pair of boots. A few weeks ago, Edge talked about Orton not having a passion for wrestling and having everything handed to him. It’s true, and Edge is angry that it took a half effort from Orton to accomplish everything. All he has to do is wake up, lace up his boots and get in the ring. At Backlash, Edge’s storybook ending is being rewritten by the RKO.

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Non-title. Before the match, Charlotte talks about how she wants one of the NXT wrestlers in the crowd to step up and become her next challenger so she can make them bow down. We hear about Asuka’s resume and Charlotte thinks the Empress wants to be the Queen. The threat of the Asuka Lock is broken up early on and Charlotte strikes away. A shot to Asuka’s knee sends us to an early break.

Back with Charlotte staying on the knee, including a kick to said knee to cut off Asuka’s striking. Charlotte charges into a kick to the head though and a German suplex into a Shining Wizard gets two. Joe: “A flying knee each day keeps the coherency away.” Asuka pulls her into the triangle choke, which is reversed into a Boston crab.

Asuka rolls out and grabs a kneebar but Charlotte stands up and grabs her own German suplex. That just means another triangle from Asuka, with Charlotte powerbombing her way to freedom for two more. Charlotte kicks her to the floor….so here’s Nia Jax in Asuka’s mask to Asuka’s music for a distraction and the countout to give Charlotte the win at 9:47.

Rating: B-. I never need to see Charlotte again and I certainly don’t need to see her beat Asuka again. The love for Charlotte around here is sickening at times and this time we even got Nia Jax mocking thrown in to keep up the greatest hits. They were having a good match and I’ll take the countout over a clean fall any day. Just give me a break from Nia and Charlotte. Please.

Lana is asked if Bobby Lashley or MVP came up with the idea of her not being at ringside for Lashley’s matches. She isn’t sure, but she can be ringside for other matches.

MVP vs. Drew McIntyre

Non-title and here is Bobby Lashley to watch. Hold on though as here’s Lana to stand next to a confused Lashley. McIntyre hammers him down in the corner to start and adds a clothesline, followed by the Glasgow Kiss to the floor. Lashley offers a distraction though and MVP sends McIntyre into various things. Back in and a running big boot gives MVP one but McIntyre shrugs it off and hits the top rope shot to the head. Lashley pulls MVP outside so McIntyre dives onto both of them. The Claymore finishes MVP at 2:56. Lana added nothing here.

Post match Lashley grabs the full nelson on McIntyre to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Man alive I did not care about this show or anything on it. They were doing a bunch of by the book angle advancement and while the wrestling was good, it was a chore to watch and didn’t make me want to see anything on the pay per view. The Edge vs. Orton stuff started off pretty dumb and is now just getting annoying, just like the Rollins vs. Mysterio feud, which seems to be bringing in Dominick for a replacement. Not a good show from a storytelling perspective (though Lashley vs. McIntyre still has me interested) but the wrestling was a bright spot.

Results

Aleister Black b. Seth Rollins – Rollup

Kevin Owens vs. Apollo Crews went to a double DQ when Angel Garza and Andrade interfered

Apollo Crews/Kevin Owens b. Andrade/Angel Garza – Toss Powerbomb to Andrade

Billie Kay b. Nikki Cross – Sitout Rock Bottom

Nia Jax b. Kairi Sane – Legdrop

Charlotte b. Asuka via countout

Drew McIntyre b. MVP – Claymore

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – December 26, 2005: This Is Going To Be A Big One

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2005
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing out the Raw side of 2005 with this and that could might not be the best news. With less than two weeks to go before New Year’s Revolution, it’s time to build up what is left of the card aside from the Elimination Chamber main event. I’m not sure what that is going to entail but we should be in for something here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and promises to continue the General Manager hunt. Also tonight, a Beat the Clock Challenge between the six Elimination Chamber participants, with the winner getting to enter last. Finally, tonight Vince will be reviewing the new Bret Hart DVD and then giving his candid comments in the arena. There is no way this can end well.

Opening sequence.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Shawn Michaels vs. Snitsky

Shawn starts fast and tries a sunset flip but has to avoid the right hand. One heck of a clothesline drops Shawn though and Snitsky drives him into the corner. The side slam gets two and it’s time to head outside. A ram into the apron stays on the back and Snitsky drops some elbows for two.

The bearhug is broken up in a hurry and Shawn chops away, followed by the flying forearm. Another clothesline gives Snitsky another two but the superplex is broken up. There’s the top rope elbow but Snitsky kicks him in the face to break up Sweet Chin Music. The second attempt works just fine though and Snitsky is done at 5:56 to set the time.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of amazing how many times Shawn gets a good match out of a hopeless goof like Snitsky. They told a simple story here and the match worked just fine as a result. It wasn’t about Shawn possibly losing, but rather giving Shawn an obstacle to overcome to get the win. The time adds an additional element and they had a nice enough time as a result.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge with Ric Flair as the special guest again. This time though, it’s a picture of Flair with a moving mouth. The voice (which sounds a heck of a lot like Matt Striker) asks where the Horsemen are and goes on a rant about how awesome he is. Edge talks about Flair stealing everything from him but Flair talks about being big from Ashton Kutcher to Abdullah the Butcher.

The road rage incident is brought up and Flair says he pretended that it was Edge and beat him up….then he got arrested. Edge promises to win the World Title and hold it longer than all sixteen of Flair’s reigns combined. Cue the real Flair to get rid of Edge without much effort.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. Chavo Guerrero

The time is set at 5:56. Chavo dodges a bit to start and tags him in the jaw before bailing out to the floor to kill some clock. Back in and a dropkick puts Masters on the floor but he drives Chavo back first into the apron. The Masterlock doesn’t work so Masters goes with a fall away slam for two. With two minutes left, Masters starts in on the back but still can’t get the Masterlock. Chavo gets two off a victory roll but the tornado DDT is countered. Masters grabs the Masterlock but Chavo survives.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t work as well, mainly because Masters just isn’t very good. There is only so much that you can get out of a musclebound lug like him but at least he’s slowly getting a bit better. The problem is how limited he is with his one dimensional offense. Chavo tried, but he’s not quite Shawn. To be fair though, who is?

Post match, Masters says the clock was fast, and promises to become the new WWE Champion at New Year’s Resolution. Chavo dropkicks him to the floor for not knowing the name of the pay per view.

Kurt Angle rants about how bad Tribute to the Troops was because the troops want praise for building some schools. There hasn’t been a draft since Vietnam so they all volunteered for this. They chose to leave so he doesn’t want to hear about all of their sacrifices.

Torrie Wilson is in Vince’s office and Vince thinks the dog wants to be GM. Todd Grisham comes in and Vince wants him to tell Flair that he’s defending the Intercontinental Title against Edge at New Year’s Revolution. Also, Todd interviewed Bret Hart a few weeks ago on Byte This. Vince: “Do you think I could take him?” Todd immediately agrees and Vince says he has a future around here. Todd leaves and Vince tells Torrie he loves playing with puppies. Shockingly enough, Torrie looks like she’s about to be sick.

Mickie James is very happy to get to spend Christmas with Trish Stratus and is even happier to get a title shot at the pay per view. There’s mistletoe above them so Mickie kisses her, freaking Trish out. Trish leaves in a hurry and Mickie is upset.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

The time is set at 5:56. Daivari lays down but the referee won’t count the three. He even shoves the referee so the chase is on throughout the crowd. The referee gets back in and that’s a countout in less than a minute and a half.

Post match, the referee runs again to avoid a bad case of dismemberment.

It’s time for a contract signing between Big Show and HHH. Big Show throws his chair away and signs in a hurry. HHH takes off his jacket but won’t sign. Instead he talks about how Show has been talking about him for weeks now. Show wants to screw HHH out of his title shot because Show has had everything handed to him over the years.

HHH worked his way to the top while Show bulldozed his way through everything. The only thing different about Show is that he’s tall. He’s an over inflated basketball player but Show says there’s no backup here. HHH: “I don’t need any backup for you fat boy.” The pen goes into Show’s eye and HHH pulls the sledgehammer out from under the table. Show’s hand is crushed and now HHH signs.

Beat The Clock Challenge: John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and the time is set at 5:56. A very early FU attempt is countered and Shelton hits a springboard armdrag. Cena still can’t hit the FU so he tries a suplex, only to be reversed into a neckbreaker for two. An elbow drop gets two more but Shelton is back with the crossbody for the same. Shelton grabs a spinebuster for two as the fans are split (it’s almost strange hearing anything other than CENA SUCKS after LET’S GO CENA). The sleeper keeps Cena down with 1:30 left on the clock.

Cena fights up with a weak version of the ProtoBomb and the fisherman’s suplex gets two. The FU is loaded up but Shelton grabs the rope as the time expires. Unlike Masters though, this match continues as they head outside, where the Dragon Whip only hits post. Back in and Shelton pokes him in the eye, only to have Cena pick him up for the FU. The STFU makes Shelton tap in a hurry.

Rating: C. The clock being a focus can take away from some of the individual matches, though it still makes for a good focal point of the entire show. Shelton poking the eye is an interesting twist, as they have been teasing a heel turn for him for a long time now. The match wasn’t bad at all, but it does make me wonder what these two could do in a longer form match.

Post match Kurt Angle and Daivari run in for the beatdown but Cena clears house.

Matt Striker wants to be GM and thinks Jonathan and Kurtis should write essays about rules and regulations. Vince: “That makes me want to vomit.” He wants violence so next week it’s Angle vs. Cena in a first blood match.

Carlito gives his own version of A Visit From St. Nicholas (Twas The Night Before Christmas) about spitting apples at people.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Carlito vs. Victoria

The time is set at 5:56. Carlito laughs a lot and gives Victoria a spank to start. A slam puts Victoria down but Torrie and the dog offer a distraction so Victoria can hit Carlito in the knee with the magic wand. That’s enough for Carlito, who Rolls the Dice for the pin at 2:36.

Post match, Carlito spits apple at Victoria.

We recap some of the night and run down New Year’s Revolution.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Kane vs. Heart Throbs

The time is set at 2:36. Kane wins with a double chokeslam at 28 seconds. Well that worked.

Vince watches the Montreal Screwjob and is ready for his live comments.

Here’s Vince to show us a clip of Bret saying he stands by how he acted in Montreal. He understands that Vince what he had to do but history speaks for itself. In an informal poll, Vince asks if he was right or if Bret was wrong. See, that was a trick, just like he tricked Bret that night because he needed something done.

Cue Shawn Michaels, with Vince introducing him as his partner in crime that night. Shawn whispers something in Vince’s ear but Vince says he can say it to everyone. Vince says that whatever Shawn has to say to him, he can say to everyone. Shawn talks about how it has been eight years since that night and while Bret is still not over it, shouldn’t Vince let it go already?

Now Vince is a grandfather and the chairman of a multi million dollar company. Vince doesn’t like that and says that it’s not 1997 anymore and Shawn has nowhere else to go. It’s time to swallow his pride and agree with whatever Vince says. He’s tired of listening to everyone stand up to him so from now on, it’s zero tolerance. Vince goes to leave so Shawn takes his jacket off and stares Vince down to end the show. This is going to be a big one isn’t it?

Overall Rating: C+. I really like these Beat the Clock shows as they tie things together so well. The majority of the show was spent on that one idea and it worked out well enough in the end. The other big angles were the Big Show vs. HHH deal, which is at least something fresh, and the beginnings of Vince vs. Shawn which is….well rather terrifying but you can’t win them all.

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Monday Night Raw – May 25, 2020: The Return Of The Raw Special

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 25, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

It’s Memorial Day and that means the tributes will be strong this week. We’re also on the road to Backlash and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. We do at least already have a World Title match with Drew McIntyre defending against Bobby Lashley. Odds are we get more gaming hijinks between the Street Profits and the Viking Raiders. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long Memorial Day video.

Opening sequence.

There are NXT wrestlers around the stage to act as a makeshift audience. We have some Plexiglas around ringside, making it feel almost like a hockey arena. It took long enough.

We start with the Kevin Owens Show and he likes having the fans around here too. Owens brings out Asuka as his guest and that means a quick plug for the Man/Mom shirt. Owens: “Now available at WWEshop.com”. We see clips from last week of Nia Jax attacking Kairi Sane but getting taken out. Before we can see where that goes, here’s Charlotte to say that she’s winning the #1 contenders match tonight and beating Asuka, as she always does.

Now it’s Natalya (who is in the #1 contenders match also, because Shayna Baszler beating her twice in a row has already been forgotten), who apologizes for last week’s tantrum. Charlotte says that’s not going to help her win but here’s Nia Jax (also in the #1 contenders match) to interrupt. Owens: “I can see where this is going.” He leaves, which Nia says is a good idea. Nia promises to win and Owens says Asuka is about to hit her in the face. The brawl is on and Asuka clears the ring.

Apollo Crews promises to win the US Title.

US Title: Apollo Crews vs. Andrade

Andrade is defending and has Zelina Vega with him. Crews slams him down to start and drives Andrade into the corner without much effort. The spinning elbow gives Andrade two but he knocks Vega off the apron by mistake. Back from a break with Crews posting him and working on an armbar but Crews sends him into the corner for a Stinger Splash.

A superplex attempt is countered into an Alberto double stomp for two and we cut to Angel Garza in the back. He talks to Kayla Braxton and compares wrestling to making love to a beautiful woman. We get some rather detailed comparisons and Braxton certainly seems interested. Back with the toss powerbomb being countered into a hurricanrana in the corner. Andrade hits the running knees for two but Crews is back with the gorilla press into the standing shooting star press for the pin and the title at 8:21.

Rating: C. What we saw was good enough at least as there was a break and then the interview with Garza so there was only so much going on here. Crews winning wasn’t the biggest surprise but there was no reason to keep the title on Andrade. He has been champion for nearly five months now and it’s not like he has done much as champion. Just move on and let us see what Crews can do. It’s not like the title can lose much more value.

Post match Crews says it was a long time coming and now it is all worth it.

Andrade throws a fit in the back.

Seth Rollins is holding Rey Mysterio’s mask and is very happy to be better than ever. Mysterio was the sacrifice that he needed and Rollins couldn’t be more pleased with the pain that Mysterio had to endure. If that was Mysterio’s final act as a WWE star, it allowed them to move into the future. Murphy and Austin Theory come in so Rollins can say they understand what it is is like to be underappreciated. They needed guidance and now their ceiling is limitless. Both of them offer praise to Rollins and are ready to move forward.

Charlotte is ready to become a dual champion and no one else compares. Asuka comes in and dances around with the title before speaking in Japanese.

Here are the IIconics for a chat. They apologize for their issues last week and talk about wanting to be the Women’s Tag Team Champions again. Their first title reign was ignored because WWE never let them defend the titles but here are Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross. The IIconics don’t think much of them and tell Cross to go play, sending Cross into a rant about how she grew up in Scotland and worked every day to get here. Now she and Lexi are champions because Lexi has kept her from bouncing off the wall. Cross has taught her about friendship and that’s iconic. The fight is on and the IIconics stand tall and hold up the titles.

Lana comes up to MVP and says they need to talk. MVP: “No we don’t.”

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with MVP talking about how no one can offer this kind of star power. His guest this week is Drew McIntyre, who is soon to be the former WWE Champion. Drew wastes no time in asking where Bobby Lashley is but MVP says don’t worry because we’ll save that for Backlash. MVP remembers taking a Claymore kick and he knew McIntyre would win the WWE Title, but MVP would have a hand in him losing it.

Lashley has a title shot after thirteen years, but Drew took nineteen years to get here. Then he was in the main event of WrestleMania and beat Brock Lesnar in five minutes. Drew doesn’t need anyone talking or fighting for him and Lashley is going to have to pry the title from his cold dead hands. MVP: “That could be arranged.” Cue Lashley so Drew Claymores MVP just in case. McIntyre is ready for him and tells Lashley to get in. The half conscious MVP holds Lashley back and gets him up the ramp.

Natalya can’t answer a question because she gets a phone call from her husband. She apologizes for not apologizing enough earlier and has to go for her match later. Now she’s out of time on the interview. Ok then.

Kevin Owens vs. Angel Garza

Garza chop blocks him during the introduction and we take a break. Back with the bell ringing and Garza going right after the knee. The leg is sent into the corner and wrapped around the rope, setting up an early leglock. Owens makes the rope and grabs the DDT. The comeback is on but the leg gives out before the Cannonball. A superkick gives Garza two but Owens elbows him off the top. The Swanton gets two on Angel only to have the knee gives out on the Pop Up Powerbomb attempt. Garza hits the Wing Clipper for the win at 3:31.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go very far and I’m a little surprised that Garza go the win in Owens’ first match back. They did something smart by having Owens come in hurt though and that takes away some of the sting of the loss. I’m not sure where this goes but it’s a different kind of idea.

We recap the Street Profits vs. the Viking Raiders in various challenges.

This week, it’s time to play golf. The Profits are decent but the Raiders just cause chaos, including leaving turkey legs everywhere and wrecking general havoc. Therefore, let’s try some mini golf. Again, the Profits are a little better and the Raiders get in trouble. The final score is 144-28 in favor of the Profits, though only after they explain that the low screw wins in golf. That makes the score 2-1 (and yes there is a scoreboard). Ivar reaches into the final hole and pulls out a red solo cup and a turkey leg, but he stops to stare down an alligator. This has to be the dumbest thing they do this year. It has to be, right?

Lana offers MVP some ice for his face but MVP yells at her, saying that Lashley’s career is finally going somewhere. Lana needs to send McIntyre a message saying that they are going to take care of things.

Humberto Carrillo/Aleister Black vs. Murphy/Austin Theory

Seth Rollins is here with Murphy and Theory. Carrillo starts fast with the springboard armdrag to the floor (going up with Theory to start and then diving over to armdrag Murphy in a cool switch), setting up the big dive to take them both out. Back in and Black fires off the kicks to Theory and it’s already back to Carrillo to start on the arm. Carrillo has to hit an enziguri to cut off Murphy’s comeback so it’s back to black. That means a bunch of kicks, including causing Murphy to kick Theory down. Theory’s rollup with trunks only gets two but Carrillo misses the moonsault to Theory. The ATL finishes Carrillo at 4:20.

Rating: C+. It was short but it was almost all action the entire time and that’s the best thing they could have done. Theory should have gotten the fall here like he did because there is no reason to set up the new stable and then have him lose, even if his team doesn’t win the fall. This was as good as they were going to get in such a time and it worked rather well.

Post match Carrillo is puled outside and Rollins has his goons tease sending him eye first into the steps. Black is told to back off instead of fight for Mysterio and drops the chair, causing Rollins to throw Carrillo down so the villains can leave.

Edge talks about how Randy Orton woke him up last week. Now he has to prove that he still has it, which he has learned over the years from people like Kurt Angle, Mr. Perfect, British Bulldog, Eddie Guerrero and Christian. He was a five tool workhorse for this company but everything he said was in the past tense. Maybe he can’t do those things anymore but he’s going to dig into his soul at Backlash because that’s all a man can do.

The Viking Raiders tell the Street Profits that they let them win at golf. Ivar says he had many birdies, meaning turkey legs. Either way, the Raiders can pick the next challenge and go with bowling. The Vikings leave but MVP and Lashley come up to say this is another example of talent being wasted. The Profits ask how MVP’s jaw is feeling so it’s a tag match later tonight.

Charlotte vs. Nia Jax vs. Natalya

For the #1 contendership and Asuka is on commentary, where she really doesn’t seem impressed with Jax. Charlotte drops Natalya to start but Jax drives her into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Some double teaming staggers Jax and send her into the post for a trip to the floor. That leaves Charlotte to nip out of Natalya’s headscissors and grab one of her own.

Jax is knocked off the apron again so Charlotte shoulders Natalya from the apron. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table and Jax pulls Natalya to the floor as well. Charlotte and Jax fight over the table top and then Charlotte chops her on the apron. There’s the double powerbomb through the table to crush Jax, leaving Asuka stunned as we take a break. Back with Natalya hammering away on Jax in the ring as Asuka is rather pleased.

Charlotte comes in to replace Natalya and the moonsault gets two on Jax. All three are in again and Jax clotheslines both of them down, setting up a double splash in the corner. Natalya gets sent outside again and Charlotte starts in on the knee. The Figure Eight goes on but Natalya makes the save. There’s the Sharpshooter to Charlotte but Jax makes another save.

Natalya is sent outside again (yes again) so Charlotte kicks Jax in the face, only to have to knock Natalya off the apron one more time. Jax catches Charlotte on top with a superplex but Natalya turns it into a Tower of Doom. Charlotte doesn’t exactly get elevated enough and takes a pretty nasty landing. Jax has to break up the Figure Eight with a legdrop to Charlotte and the Samoan drop to Natalya sends Jax to Backlash at 15:13.

Rating: B-. Even if Jax was a pretty obvious winner here, they did a nice job of making you wonder if that was where they were really going. Jax vs. Asuka should be a good power vs. striker match and that could make for a solid first title defense. The lack of Baszler is interesting here though and makes me think she’s lurking for the winner.

Drew McIntyre is ready for the main event and Backlash.

We look back at Rob Gronkowski winning the 24/7 Title at Wrestlemania.

R-Truth promises to win the title back and will tackle any football player to win the title. He can’t remember Gronkowski’s name and puts on some children’s shoulder pads.

Gronkowski says bring it on and says 24/7 Gronk is the present. He grew up with four brothers and knows how to fight anywhere anytime. The sunglasses go on backwards, because he has eyes in the back of his head.

MVP and Lashley are ready for the main event.

Ric Flair picks Randy Orton to beat Edge at Backlash.

We look at part three of the Undertaker documentary, featuring the Shawn Michaels rivalry.

Liv Morgan talks about wondering what life had in store for her since she was six years old. Then she found WWE and knew she belonged here. She is alive and will fulfill who she is destined to be because she is living her best life.

Next week: Aleister Black vs. Seth Rollins and Rey Mysterio’s retirement ceremony.

Street Profits vs. MVP/Bobby Lashley

Non-title. Ford jumps away from Lashley to start but eventually gets sent into the corner so MVP can stomp away. It’s already back to Lashley for a delayed suplex but Ford slips out and brings in Dawkins. The double dropkick takes Lashley down but he knocks Ford hard into the barricade to take over. Ford gets posted as well and we take a break. Back with MVP handing it off to Lashley for more elbows in the corner.

Lashley stops to knock Dawkins out of the apron and then hits a side slam for two on Ford. MVP misses the running boot in the corner though and Ford dives over for the tag to Dawkins. House is cleaned, including a flapjack, which has to be saved by a camera cut. Everything breaks down and the Cash Out hits MVP but Lashley comes in for the full nelson on Ford. Lashley isn’t legal though and it’s a DQ at 11:31.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, though you can tell how much age has impacted MVP. He moves pretty slowly and while he is still very far away from looking horrible, this kind of limited action is the best thing that they can do with him at the moment. I was rather pleased that they didn’t have the Profits take a loss here, but my goodness the stuff with the Vikings has sucked the life out of them.

Post match here’s McIntyre for the brawl but since there is no security, some NXT wrestlers come in for the failed save. Lashley spears McIntyre down but the brawl continues. Even more wrestlers fail to break it up so here’s another batch to finally separate them to end the show. They’ve got something pretty good here with this feud as I want to see these two fight.

Overall Rating: C+. This is what I once dubbed the Raw Special. Had this been a two hour show, it would have been an excellent week, but instead they had that extra hour (not the third hour, but an extra hour throughout the show) that dragged it down. You could tell they were trying to come up with anything they could think of to fill in time and that became a problem. What we got was good, but they just had too much time to fill. Finally, yes the NXT wrestlers did help, but there’s only so much that they can add in a situation like this.

Results

Apollo Crews b. Andrade – Standing shooting star press

Angel Garza b. Kevin Owens – Wing Clipper

Murphy/Austin Theory b. Humberto Carrillo/Aleister Black – ATL to Carrillo

Nia Jax b. Natalya and Charlotte – Samoan drop to Natalya

Street Profits b. MVP/Bobby Lashley via DQ when Lashley would not let go of the full nelson

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – December 19, 2005 (2020 Redo): These Still Work

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 19, 2005
Location: Bagram Air Force Base, Bagram, Afghanistan
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles

We pause to go overseas for Tribute to the Troops, which felt a lot more special when they actually went to the troops. None of the storyline stuff here is going to matter whatsoever and that’s not the point of the show. This is going to be a bunch of fast paced stuff and thanking the troops. There’s nothing wrong with that so the quality of the wrestling isn’t what matters this week. Let’s get to it.

The troops rush into the makeshift arena.

We get a video on the history of entertaining the troops and how special this show is.

Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up (Lawler: “He’s like our five star general.”) and he’s got a big promise: Santa Claus himself is making a special trip here, but he’s not sure what to get everyone for Christmas. Santa doesn’t know what to tell the negative media types back home who have forgotten about the soldiers here. That story is one with a happy ending because the armed forces get the job done. He has an idea of what they should do though and brings out military brat Lilian Garcia to sing the National Anthem (and certainly admires the barely existing outfit).

WWE had to stop at a base in Germany on the way here and met some troops at a medical hospital.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Carlito hides to start but manages to snap Show’s throat across the top rope. Some left hands don’t do much and it’s the chokeslam to finish Carlito in just over a minute.

Post match Show celebrates with the troops. Just assume that takes place after every match.

We look at the troops having to be worried about mines, some of which had to be destroyed with C4 (Spanish Fly, same thing).

Jonathan Coachman is in the ring and introduces Santa Claus, who isn’t fat and is in military gear instead of the red suit. He also seems to be John Bradshaw Layfield, who talks about knowing Vince since he was a little evil boy. Vince is wrong about the world forgetting about their troops, because the reality is no one cares. If this place was any better, it would suck. There was NO Dom Perignon for his reindeer and it might as well be called Rehabistan.

As a result, Santa is skipping Afghanistan next year and is canceling Cinco de Mayo, Oktoberfest, Arbor, St. Patrick’s Day, Bastille Day and everything else. Oh and no leave for the troops! He’s going back home to cold beer….but we’ve got another Santa, who is rather large and in the red and white. This one says he’ll be delivering presents RIGHT HERE in Afghanistan but the other one says the only ho-ho-hos around here are the Divas. The red Santa wants a No Ho-Ho-Holds Barred match to settle this once and for all.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Bad Santa hammers away to start so Good Santa hits him with the sack of toys. The pillow comes out of Good Santa’s shirt (that’s a relief as even Mick isn’t that big) but since it’s a pillow, it doesn’t do much damage. A big boot drops Good Santa instead but the Clothesline From Bad Santa misses and it’s the double arm DDT. The Mandible Claw is good for the fast pin.

John Cena and Trish Stratus had a quick press conference and met some troops.

MSNBC was here too and interviewed some troops. They’re still looking for Osama Bin Laden.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky

Snitsky shoves him in the face to start and knocks him down without much effort. The turnbuckle pad is ripped off but Shelton slugs away and hits a running forearm. The top rope clothesline connects but the Stinger Splash hits the buckle. A big boot gives Snitsky the pin. Shelton can’t even win HERE?

We look at a hut that has been turned into a makeshift coffee bar.

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Non-title. Cena grabs a headlock to start as the announcers talk about the great strides democracy has been making in Afghanistan. Masters runs him over with a shoulder but Cena is right back with a front facelock. Back up and Masters pounds him down with a front facelock of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t quite work and Masters’ middle rope fist drop misses. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and it’s the Shuffle into the AA for the pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was fine as Cena gets to beat up a muscleheaded heel. It’s not like Masters loses anything by getting beaten by the champ here as the show exists in its own continuity. That and it’s not like anyone believed he had a real chance to win the title in the Chamber anyway. I’m not entirely sure why it was non-title but it doesn’t really matter.

More clips of wrestlers meeting the troops.

Coach brings out Ric Flair, who is rather well received. Coach calls this Flair’s farewell tour because HHH beat him down at Survivor Series. Even Coach could beat him right now so let’s do it for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Jonathan Coachman vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and takes Coach into the corner without much effort to start. A back elbow staggers Flair and Coach gets to take off the shirt (King: “Oh no, he’s exposing his body!”). Flair comes back with the chops and a low blow, followed by the Figure Four to retain in a hurry.

More clips of the troops, including an explanation from future United States Senator Martha McSally, and the wrestlers talking about how awesome this is.

Candice Michelle to keep Maria from going into an area that hasn’t been cleared for mines.

Candice Michelle/Maria vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The women are attired as you would expect them to be. Ashley and Maria start things off with Maria celebrating an early takedown. Candice comes in and wants Trish but it’s already time for the stalling on the floor. Actually make that body surfing and then the Go Daddy dance. Trish shoves her to the floor and lays on the ropes before accidentally headscissoring the referee. Maria is too busy posing on the apron to take the tag so Trish headscissors Candice this time. Ashley comes back in for a double elbow but Candice rolls her up and grabs….whatever you call what Ashley is wearing for the pin.

Rating: D+. There might have been something other than the wrestling here and that’s fine given the situation. The women were there for one purpose here and it worked well enough. The soldiers liked it and that’s all they were going for here. Again though, kind of weird to have the heels win but it doesn’t exactly matter.

Monday Night Raw – May 18, 2020: Tighten Up

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 18, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

We’re on the road to Backlash and that means we need to get ready for a midlevel pay per view. I’m not sure what to expect from the show but there is a good chance that something will be added this time around. If nothing else, we have King Corbin as a guest star and an ax throwing contest. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a Becky Lynch highlight reel. I know the timing of this might not be the best, but this feels like an In Memorium segment.

Opening sequence.

Charly Caruso is in the ring to start and brings up the idea of Randy Orton vs. Edge being the best wrestling match of all time, should it take place. Cue Orton to say that challenging Edge to a wrestling match isn’t a surprise because the second W stands for wrestling. They’ve already torn the building apart in a Last Man Standing match and on that night, Edge was the better man.

No one can do what he does in the ring in a wrestling match though, including Edge. Last week Orton saw doubt in Edge’s eyes and the grit (take a shot) and passion are gone. Cue Edge (in a GET GRIT) to say Orton is playing a game of chess so he wasn’t going to rush in. This is just about getting a paycheck for Orton because he was handed this spot.

Orton didn’t grow up dreaming of being WWE Champion or saving up money to go to the show at the end of the month like Edge did. He didn’t cry when he won the Intercontinental Title because it was a stepping stone to the top. Edge remembers beating Orton for that title in 2004 but Orton tells him to hold on. Edge isn’t stopping because Orton doesn’t love this like everyone else does and yes he accepts the challenge. That’s enough for Orton, who leaves without saying a word. I’m digging the love of the business vs. love of a check vibe here, though the “best match ever” thing isn’t working.

We look back at Seth Rollins injuring Rey Mysterio’s eye and getting in a fight with Aleister Black as a result.

Rollins, in a suit, has a revelation for Murphy.

Here are Rollins and Murphy to explain what that revelation is. Rollins talks about falling into a dark place after losing to Drew McIntyre at Money in the Bank, but without darkness, there can be no light. However, he has been pulled out of the darkness by Rey Mysterio. What happened last week has been described as an act of hatred and an act of penance.

Rollins saw it as a moment of clarity that can make him the leader Raw needs. Rey is sitting at home with his family and soon, he will come to know that what happened to him was a blessing in disguise. Soon Rey will say thank you. Cue Humberto Carrillo to say Rey is an idol to millions and Rollins is just a coward. Carrillo gets in the ring but Murphy gets between them.

Murphy vs. Humberto Carrillo

Joined in progress, despite Murphy already having a match with Aleister Black scheduled for later. Humberto gets in a kick to the head from the apron but Murphy sends him head first into the mat. Back up and Humberto hits an enziguri, followed by a springboard kick to the face to put Murphy on the floor. That means the big twisting flip dive but Carrillo glares at Rollins, allowing Murphy to knee him out of the air. Murphy’s Law finishes Carrillo at 2:50.

Post match Murphy stays on Carrillo but here’s Black to start in a hurry. Or not actually as Black tries Black Mass, sending Murphy bailing up the ramp.

King Corbin complains about not having his own private locker room. There were fingerprint smudges on his crown and he has to go from building to building to get food. What is going on here at Raw? Now, he and the referee need to talk about how tonight’s match is going to go.

An emotional Liv Morgan talks about her mom not having much in her bank account but having a lot of determination. She is her mother’s daughter and a couple of weeks ago, she had a match with twelve time champion Charlotte. No she didn’t win, but she did learn. One day, she will be Raw Women’s Champion.

Here’s Charlotte for a chat because she needs to be on every show. Charlotte talks about everything she’s been doing lately, including a champion vs. champion match this week on Smackdown against Bayley and her sidekick Sasha Banks. As for tonight though, she invites Ruby Riott out here for a challenge.

Charlotte vs. Ruby Riott

Non-title and joined in progress again with the fight heading to the floor where Riott can dodges a chop, which hits the post by mistake. Riott goes after the arm but gets sent into the post, allowing Charlotte asks if Liv is watching this. Back up and Riott manages to send Charlotte face first into the middle buckle for two. Riott hits a Downward Spiral, though Charlotte takes it almost like a DDT. A double wristlock is broken up so Ruby tires the Riott Kick, which is blocked with ease. The Figure Eight makes Riott tap at 3:40.

Rating: C. Hey Charlotte wins again while Riott loses again. It’s almost like you could have just gone with that result as soon as Riott’s music came on. The match was the usual way to let WWE praise Charlotte every chance they can, because the solution to everything is more Charlotte (and more Corbin of course).

Bobby Lashley is ready for R-Truth but MVP comes in to bring up the fact that Lashley hasn’t had a WWE Championship match in thirteen years. Lashley already has enough trophies, like that trophy wife. That earns MVP a glare, but all he wants is to unleash Lashley.

We look back at last week’s basketball game. Tonight: axe throwing.

The Street Profits are ready for the competition and run into a bunch of people in viking gear. The Viking Raiders blow a horn and say they have a gift for them: SMOKE, as produced by a fire. Dawkins says they don’t mean it literally, but Ford says you accepts a gift from a bunch of vikings with axes. Good advice really. Ivar throws a perfect axe and Ford is ready to go already. Dawkins says they’ve got this. More on this later.

Here’s Kairi Sane with a bunch of balloons around the ring to celebrate Asuka. Cue Asuka, who is very pleased by the whole thing. Sane presents her with some flowers and talks about all of Asuka’s accomplishments, making her a Grand Slam Champion. Sane busts out a flute and plays a little diddy, only to have Nia Jax interrupt.

There’s nothing to celebrate because Asuka was handed the title. Becky is on maternity leave so Asuka is just on a temp job. Nia will be champion soon because look at her. Then we can have a real party, so Asuka starts striking away. The running hip attack sends Jax outside. This would have been a little better had it not been the same as about 184 other Jax promos.

King Corbin says Drew McIntyre may be WWE Champion but he’s not a king you see. Drew beat Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship but he still has the ability to slip up. We see Drew watching in the back as Corbin says the next time they face off, he’ll take Drew’s title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Here’s R-Truth, whose cousin Pretty Ricky has talked about how bad Bobby Lashley has been lately. Now he doesn’t want to be put in Nelson from the Simpsons again but he’s going to have to face Lashley tonight. His childhood hero John Cena would never give up, just like Truth will never give up on getting his baby back. So Tom Brady, he’s coming for you, even if it means a sack! After commentary explains the joke (AGAIN), we’re ready to go.

R-Truth vs. Bobby Lashley

Truth accuses Lashley of trying to Debo him and bails outside, where Pretty Ricky appears. Lashley isn’t having that and sends him ribs first into the post. Back in and Lashley slaps him a few times, sending Truth into a frenzy. Unfortunately that frenzy lasts about three seconds as it’s a clothesline into the full nelson slam. The full nelson makes Truth tap at 2:25.

Post match MVP comes out to applaud.

Lana is watching in the back and screams again. She throws some stuff to add an extra dimension.

The Kabuki Warriors are rather happy in the back as Nia Jax watches on.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. IIconics

The IIconics are challenging and show us a clip of their win last week. They’re looking forward to getting their titles back so Bliss and Cross can just leave. Bliss has to fight out of the corner to start and the double knees Royce’s ribs get two. It’s off to Kay for a scoop brainbuster on Cross but she misses a big boot, allowing the (rather early) hot tag to Bliss. Insult To Injury gets two on everything breaks down in a hurry. Bliss blasts Kay with the right hand and Twisted Bliss gets two as Royce makes the save. Peyton sends Bliss into the post three times in a row, which is a DQ at 2:44.

Sane is playing the flute again but Jax sends her into a case.

Post break, Kay blames Royce for the loss and slaps her before they hug and cry.

We look at Chapter Two of Undertaker’s Last Ride.

We look back at Shayna Baszler beating Natalya last week. Tonight, they’re meeting again in a submission match.

Asuka is livid and wants revenge on Nia.

Post break, Asuka jumps Nia as they’re flying through this story tonight.

Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler

Submission match. Natalya goes right after her and tries an early Sharpshooter, which is reversed into an ankle lock. That’s broken up with a boot to the face so Baszler starts bending the arm. Natalya spins out so Baszler pulls her straight down by the hair. Shayna can’t get the Sharpshooter so Natalya puts her own. The rope is reached but THANKFULLY that’s not a break, meaning Shayna has to crawl out of the ring for the break. Back in and Natalya grabs a kneebar but Shayna reverses into a Koquina Clutch for the tap at 3:48.

Rating: C-. Some of the holds looked a bit nasty but it’s still Natalya. Why does WWE think fans are interested in her other than she’s been around for a long time? The match wasn’t terrible but I’m going to need a much bigger reason to care about Natalya than….well whatever reason WWE thinks we have of caring about her. A heel turn isn’t going to work either, as Natalya can’t do emotions no matter what.

Post match the production staff sets up the KO Show but Natalya wrecks everything in a fit.

We look at the issues between Zelina Vega and company.

Vega tells her team to be on the same page out there. Andrade seems to blame Austin Theory for everything and tensions remain high.

Here’s Kevin Owens for the first time since Wrestlemania for the Kevin Owens Show, though the set is still wrecked. Owens has been out since Wrestlemania due to an injury but now he’s back at full health. Therefore, let’s bring out his guests: Zelina Vega, Andrade, Angel Garza and Austin Theory.

Owens heads to the apron so Vega can talk about how there is no distention here and there won’t be a Jerry Springer Show. Vega brags about all four of them and isn’t happy that Owens is on the apron. Owens says he’s offering them some respect but it’s also because there is another guest: Apollo Crews, who runs in to jump Andrade. The big brawl is on and we take a break.

Angel Garza/Andrade vs. Kevin Owens/Apollo Crews

Not joined in progress for once with Garza TAKING OFF HIS PANTS early on. Due to the lighter weight, Crews suplex slams Garza down and hands it off to Owens to stomp away. A backsplash crushes him as Owens tells Andrade to get in. Andrade does just that and kicks Owens down but he’s right back with a clothesline.

It’s back to Crews to pick up the pace, including a hard spinebuster to Garza. Vega offers a distraction so Theory can accidentally hit Garza, allowing Crews to hit the toss powerbomb to finish Garza at 2:49. Owens is very proud of Crews. Not that Owens would want the US Title for himself or anything, because that’s not what we’re doing at the moment.

Post match the team is in disarray and Andrade jumps Theory from behind. The fight is on with Garza helping take Theory down as Vega yells at them to stop. Theory is sent into the barricade and Vega adds a slap, saying she should have never believed in him. Another whip sends Theory into some chairs as the team seems to be down one man.

Drew McIntyre says he’s ready for all of the challenges and Monday is always a good night for a Claymore Party. He knows Bar….hold on let him get this right….King Corbin is dangerous but Drew has a special Claymore for him.

Back to the woods, where the Vikings are really, really good at axe throwing (or maybe the production staff is really good at camera cuts). Ford asks for some space so he can get his Tiger Woods on. Ivar: “TIGER??? IS THERE A TIGER IN THE WOODS???” Can we PLEASE get some continuity on their level of pop culture knowledge? Anyway, Ford throws and the axe goes sailing over a tree.

Post break, Dawkins goes to throw and accidentally breaks the barrel of ale. Ford offers some of his cup but Dawkins says this is nothing like Thor.

Aleister Black vs. Murphy

Seth Rollins is here too. Black wastes no time in striking away at Murphy and taking it to the floor for a big kick to the chest. Another kick hits post though (like when Charlotte chopped the post earlier) and Murphy takes him inside as Rollins sees Theory still down at ringside. Black fights back and loads up Black Mass but Theory comes in for the DQ at 2:34 on Rollins’ orders.

Post match the beatdown is on with Theory hugging Rollins.

And now, in the fourth segment of the night, it’s time for the actual axe throwing competition. They both get ten throws and only bulls’ eyes count. The Vikings win 10-1 with Ford hitting the only target on the last throw. Then the cops come up to complain about an axe being thrown through their police car window. It must have been someone who couldn’t throw, so Dawkins takes the axe, throws it over his shoulder, and hits a bull’s eye. See, it’s like the opposite of last week, but with axes!

Apollo Crews says he’s been waiting a long time since Money in the Bank and now he had to do something. Now, he knows what he wants: the United States Title, which he wants a shot at next week. Zelina Vega comes in and promises pain next week if Crews goes through with this. Crews is ready for his title shot.

We’re STILL not done with the axe throwing thing, as the cops yell at all four of them for being dangerous. The female cop lets them go though because Ivar is cute. Erik, not so much.

Drew McIntyre vs. King Corbin

Non-title. Hold on though as here are Bobby Lashley and MVP, with the former saying he’s coming for McIntyre’s title no matter what. The two of them watch as McIntyre and Corbin fight over a lockup to start. A shot to the leg staggers McIntyre early on but he’s fine enough to clothesline Corbin outside. Another clothesline puts Corbin over the barricade with MVP clapping from the stage.

There’s a third clothesline to put Corbin at ringside and he goes inside, only to roll back to the floor to avoid a Claymore. Corbin knocks McIntyre off the apron and into the barricade, followed by the slide underneath the corner clothesline for two. McIntyre gets sent face first into the turnbuckle and it’s a superplex to give Corbin one. Corbin talks trash and runs into an overhead belly to belly.

There’s a big boot to set up the top rope shot to the head into McIntyre’s nip up. McIntyre gets two off a spinebuster but Corbin plants him down for one more. Back up and the Futureshock looks to set up the Claymore, which is countered into Deep Six for two. Corbin tries the slide under the ropes clothesline but walks into the Claymore for the pin at 9:12.

Rating: C. Now this is a better usage of Corbin (provided you keep him on one show): let him do one match as a threat to the champ and then send him elsewhere. There is no reason to do anything higher up with him than that and if WWE can grasp that concept, they might be able to get something out of Corbin. It was fine for a warmup for McIntyre vs. Lashley and that’s all it needed to be. Now keep Corbin on his own show if you have to have him in such a big role.

McIntyre calls out Lashley but MVP points at his watch to say on their time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure how to feel on this one as they had some good and bad things going. I like the keeping things moving and making you want to know where things are going next. There is no reason to have some big fifteen minute match and then expect me to want to see more of it next week. Save that stuff for the pay per view and make it feel more important.

Then though you have points where they just kept going with stuff. Nia seems primed to be the next challenger for Asuka. Ok, that’s fine. Have her interrupt, then have her attack Sane, then have Asuka swear revenge for her fallen friend, who Nia could beat in a regular match if you have the chance. That’s probably a month and they did it in about ten minutes. It’s ok to not burn through EVERYTHING in one night while also keeping things moving. Find the middle ground.

That middle ground does not include FIVE SEGMENTS on an axe throwing contest in the middle of the woods, especially a week after a basketball game. The Vikings beat the Profits in a tag match two weeks ago on Raw. In theory that sets up a title match (because WWE loves that trope) but instead, it’s setting up a rehash of MVP/Matt Hardy when neither were healthy enough to wrestle. I know they’re stretched for ideas here, but can we please just get to a match instead of the guaranteed tiebreaker competition next week?

Overall, this show wasn’t the worst by any stretch and they are indeed doing something, but a lot of what they are doing is making my head hurt. Lashley is a great choice as the Monster Of The Month/Two for McIntyre and I like Theory joining up with Rollins, who is a much better fit for him than Vega and company. Just tighten things up a bit and this show could actually work rather than being dragged over the finish line for a change.

Results

Murphy b. Humberto Carrillo – Murphy’s Law

Charlotte b. Ruby Riott – Figure Eight

Bobby Lashley b. R-Truth – Full nelson

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross b. IIconics via DQ when Royce sent Bliss into the post

Shayna Baszler b. Natalya – Koquina Clutch

Apollo Crews/Kevin Owens b. Angel Garza/Andrade – Toss powerbomb to Garza

Aleister Black b. Murphy when Austin Theory interfered

Drew McIntyre b. King Corbin – Claymore

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Monday Night Raw – September 26, 1994: Still Waiting After 25 Years

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 26, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It’s a new taping cycle to wrap up the month and, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d love to see more Bob Backlund here. He was amazing last week with the complete insanity making the segment the best thing about the show. Odds are that won’t get a ton of focus, but we can only hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a quick preview of Razor Ramon vs. Tatanka for the Intercontinental Title.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Tatanka

Tatanka is challenging and has Ted DiBiase in his corner. Razor gets the better of a chop off and there’s a clothesline to put Tatanka on the floor. Back in and Tatanka goes with some overhand chops to more success and a forearm to the back slows Razor down. A backdrop attempt is countered with a faceplant to the mat, meaning it’s Razor’s turn to work the arm.

We hit the armbar with the slaps to the back of the head so Tatanka hits a clothesline. The running elbow gets two on the champ and we take a break. Tatanka misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor. Razor knocks him off the apron to keep him out there but a missed right hand lets Tatanka get in a neck snap across the top. This time it’s Tatanka taking him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with more walking around on the floor and Razor being drive back first into the apron a few times. They head inside again with Tatanka chopping away and grabbing the abdominal stretch. DiBiase gets in on the grabbing thing by grabbing Tatanka’s hand, only to have Razor reverse into one of his own. With that going nowhere, Razor puts him on the top for the belly to back superplex, which draws DiBiase up for a distraction. Razor goes after him so Tatanka follows, drawing out Lex Luger. Bam Bam Bigelow follows and jumps him, only to have Tatanka join in and get counted out.

Rating: D. This was the big Tatanka heel debut: a slow, plodding match which went about five minutes longer than it needed to and saw Tatanka get counted out. What a great way to make me worried about the guy and get me fired up to see him face Luger. This was horrible and a terrible start for the heel run, which doesn’t exactly bode well.

Undertaker is ready for Yokozuna on the Hart Attack Tour.

Kwang vs. Rich Myers

Myers avoids a charge to start but Vince McMahon starts talking about a trade between ESPN, the Arizona Cardinals and the WWF, with Savage being the quarterback, the Bushwhackers going to ESPN and Phil Sims (NFL quarterback) coming to Raw for commentary. Thankfully this goes nowhere as Kwang hits a spinwheel kick for the fast win.

Here’s Jerry Lawler to bring out British Bulldog for the King’s Court. Lawler starts with the dog jokes (Lawler: “My dog’s name is Timex: he’s a watchdog.”) but finally makes a joke about Bulldog’s wife and that’s too far. Cue Jim Neidhart to say Bulldog isn’t part of the Hart Family so he shouldn’t have been at Summerslam. They can fight next week, and that’s fine with Bulldog. He was rather fired up here, and not exactly in a good way.

Next week: a woman’s tag match. That might actually be good given the time frame.

We look back at Bob Backlund going nuts last week. The WWF Magazine editor has a slightly separated shoulder.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Gary Davis

Kid grabs a quick snapmare and Davis swears a hair pull. A wristlock doesn’t work so well for Davis as Kid kicks him down without much trouble. Cue Backlund with a present for Savage, though Vince reads the letter. The present is a dictionary so Savage can know what Backlund is talking about. Kid misses a running dropkick in the corner but stops a charging Davis with a kick to the head. The top rope legdrop finishes Davis in a hurry.

Rating: D+. The match was just background noise for the sake of the Backlund delivery. That’s not the biggest story in the world but Backlund vs. Savage in a promo battle alone could be worth the time. I doubt we’re going there, but at least there is SOMETHING to look forward to around here.

King Kong Bundy is coming back. He’s really big you see.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel vs. Chris Kanyon/Bob Starr

Non-title. I can always go for a surprise cameo like this one. Shawn elbows Kanyon down to start and it’s off to Diesel to throw him into the corner. Starr comes in and takes the top rope elbow (Savage: “That elbow looks familiar.”) and there’s Diesel’s side slam. The Jackknife connects and Shawn comes in for the pin (because he gets the glory).

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of a short squash like this but at least the champs are the kind of guys who can make almost anyone look good. The more interesting note here is Kanyon, which kind of tells you how little this match meant or had to offer in the first place. At least the champs got to look dominant, even in a short form squash.

Post match here are the Headshrinkers, though it’s the debuting Sionne (Barbarian) taking Samu’s place.

Post break, Lou Albano says that Samu is out due to some bad fish. I remember hearing this live and spending MONTHS waiting for Samu to come back. The brawl is on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The high point of this show was Bob Backlund giving Randy Savage a dictionary. I can’t get out of 1994 fast enough as it’s such a terrible time for the company. Is it any wonder why WCW was on the rise at this point? Hulk Hogan vs. the Faces of Fear wasn’t good, but it’s better than Barbarian debuting as the new Headshrinker. Awful show here, as usual.

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Monday Night Raw – September 19, 1994: The Saving Grace

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 19, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

The big attraction here is Jerry Lawler vs. Duke the Dumpster Droese. I don’t know what else there is to say here, but that’s the high point of the show. We have nothing better than Lawler vs. a trashman and we’re not even in Memphis to make it feel special. I’m almost scared to see what we’re getting here as it’s the dreaded last night of a taping cycle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Tatanka joining the Million Dollar Corporation. Unlike Lex Luger, he understands the value of a dollar.

Opening sequence.

Lex Luger vs. The Executioner

I’d bet on that being Dwayne Gill under a mask. Luger headlocks and shoulders him down to start but Executioner grabs a small package for two. Some forearms to the back stagger Luger but he’s right back with a running clothesline. The Rack is good for a fast submission.

Duke Droese vs. Jerry Lawler

They’re getting to the big one early this week. Before the match, Lawler makes trash jokes about Droese being filthy. The chase is on before the bell but Lawler is finally willing to get inside. Lawler’s headlock gives him a big smile so Droese shoves him hard into the corner. That means Lawler hides behind the referee as he continues to know how to rile the fans up while doing a grand total of nothing.

Now it’s Lawler being sent outside so he can yell at some fans, followed by a big hiptoss inside. Droese hammers away in the corner for a face first fall, meaning Lawler needs another breather. Back in and Lawler gets backdropped so it’s another trip to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Lawler stalling more, all with the fans being rather annoyed with him (in a good way).

It’s time to go to Memphis with the invisible object and a single shot puts Droese down. Lawler gets on the rope and poses and it’s time to slug away. The middle rope fist gets two but Droese launches him with the kickout. There’s the piledriver but Lawler goes outside to get the trashcan. Cue Dink of all people to spray Lawler with a water gun. The chase is on and that’s a countout to give Droese the win.

Rating: D+. I could go with the standard Lawler antics but then a miniature clown came in to cause a countout because Lawler got distracted by a trashcan. That’s one thing for a fun little match somewhere on the show but this was the featured match on the card, to the point where they even advertised it twice last week. It had some promise and then turned into a product of the era.

Post match the chase is still on until Doink comes out to send Lawler running into the crowd.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Mike Bell/Steve King

Joined in progress with Del Ray suplexing King and rubbing a forearm to his face. Prichard comes in for an elbow drop and it’s already back to Del Ray for a dropkick. A suplex sets up the moonsault to finish King in a hurry. Bell never even tagged in.

Another New Generation confession ad. They thought it was so great that they did another version?

Vince McMahon brings out Bob Backlund for an interview. Bob is booed out of the building, having recently snapped on Bret Hart. Vince asks what is going on in Backlund’s head but Bob needs to make it clear that he is NOT a former champion. He’s coming up on seventeen years as WWF Champion and starts ranting about society today, including bad pencils.

The fans are the ones who changed and he put the chickenwing on Bret because he wants to put it on every one of the fans. The people have manipulated themselves because the chickenwing is the greatest hold in wrestling. Even Bret can’t get out of it and it’s not his fault that people in America can’t stick to a diet or can’t read. Vince asks about Backlund saying no one can escape the chickenwing after saying for years that no one can escape the hold.

Bob is so confident in the hold that if anyone can escape it from the mat, he’ll retire. The jacket comes off and it’s time for a demonstration on a WWF Magazine writer at ringside. The chickenwing goes on and Backlund cranks on the thing, causing Vince himself to try for the save. It’s so much that Savage comes in for the real save, leaving Backlund just staring at his hands. He is MR. BACKLUND and you can feel it. This was awesome as Backlund came off as a complete psycho and having Vince getting involved made it even better.

Bob Holly vs. Richie Rich

Isn’t Macaulay Culkin a little young to be a jobber here? Commentary completely ignores the match to rant about Backlund as Holly works on the arm to start. A clothesline into a high crossbody finishes Rich in a hurry.

Yokozuna vs. Phil Apollo

Vince is back to normal and Yokozuna is making a rare solo appearance. Yokozuna elbows him down to start and hammers Apollo down in the corner without much effort. The Banzai Drop is good for the fast pin.

Post match Undertaker’s music hits to freak Yokozuna out.

Overall Rating: D+. That Backlund promo came as close to saving a rotten show as you can get though even it had a limit. The rest of the show was pretty terrible, though I can appreciate the last two matches being short and to the point rather than dragging them out longer than necessary. They need a pay per view to build towards though because hearing about the Hart Attack Tour every few seconds isn’t quite cutting it.

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Monday Night Raw – September 12, 1994: They Don’t Get Irony Do They?

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 12, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It’s another month here and this time around we’re starting in the middle, as the US Open Tennis Tournament took away the first week of September. We’re a long way off from Survivor Series so we don’t have much to build towards at the moment, but that tends to be the case in 1994 anyway. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker vs. Kwang

This is Undertaker’s first match on Raw since January and Kwang is Savio Vega under a mask with Harvey Wippleman as a manager. They stare at each other a lot and Kwang makes the mistake of going after him, meaning the beating can start in a hurry. Kwang hits him in the back and gets stared down, followed by a slam for a bonus. The Stunner over the top sets up Old School back inside as we take a break.

Back with Kwang hammering away before Undertaker pretty easily wins a slugout. Kwang scores with a superkick and clothesline to the floor….but Undertaker lands on his feet because that’s what he does. Back in and Kwang spits mist at him, only to have Undertaker spit it right back at him. The chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your “welcome home” return match and that’s all well and good. Undertaker looked pretty dominant and that’s what they need from him after such a long absence. Kwang is fine for a midcard villain and I don’t think there is anyone who believed he was ever going to be anything more than that. 1994 wasn’t a great time for midcarders and that wasn’t going to get any better for a long time.

Highlights of Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart in a cage at Summerslam, plus the post match fracas.

Jim Neidhart vs. Tim McNeaney

Owen Hart is here with Jim. Neidhart throws him around with ease and then tosses him outside. A forearm to the chest brings McNeaney back in and Owen tells Neidhart to hurt him a little more. Another slam sets up the camel clutch to give Neidhart the easy win.

Rating: D. The whole Neidhart vs. Bret feud is a good example of how chemistry means so much. Neidhart is not all that interesting on his own but he has a history with Bret and that makes things all the better. It makes things that much better and saves us from boring squashes like this one.

Post match the hold goes on again and Owen puts some Bret glasses on McNeaney.

We look at Jerry Lawler popping Dink’s balloons. Doink looked furious and you never want a crowd swearing vengeance.

It’s time for the King’s Court. After Lawler insults some fans, he holds up a letter from Jack Tunney demanding that he apologize to Doink and Dink. Therefore, Lawler will be the bigger man than Dink, so the clowns can come out here. This includes Dink in a Burger King crown, which is not going to end well. Doink and Lawler make fun of each other’s clothes before Lawler gets in some more short jokes about Dink.

The clowns just want to make things right so they have a present for him. Vince thinks it’s a box of WWF Magazines with Doink and Dink on the cover, because that’s a heck of a gift. Lawler is scared of what’s in there so Doink opens it for him. It’s….a trashcan, because Lawler is facing Duke the Dumpster Droese next week. Lawler kicks the trashcan, which just happens to have metal weights inside. I hate that I laughed at that one.

Come to the Hart Attack Tour!

Diesel/Shawn Michaels vs. Tony Devito/Paul Van Dale

The fans chant for Diesel as Shawn slaps Devito in the face early on. A Diesel distraction lets Shawn knock him outside and it’s off to Diesel for a hard forearm to the face. It’s already back to Shawn for a chinlock but he lets it up in a hurry so Van Dam can come in. That’s fine with Diesel, who plants him with a big boot. The Jackknife sets up Shawn’s splash from on top of Diesel’s shoulder for the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was an entertaining little squash and that’s all it needed to be. Shawn and Diesel are cited as the best big man/little man combination for a reason: they’re really good at what they do and that’s what we saw here. Van Dale wasn’t much, but his daughter was a little more fabulous. You probably know her as Carmella.

We look at Ted DiBiase trying to buy Adam Bomb but Bomb got in a fight with Bam Bam Bigelow instead.

Adam Bomb vs. Dwayne Gill

Bomb is now in blue and yellow for a change of pace. Gill gets shoved down to start and then bounces off of Bomb’s shoulder. Some kicks out of the corner and something like a bulldog onto the top turnbuckle have Bomb in trouble for all of a second before he’s back with a dropkick. A side slam connects and Gill’s missed crossbody sends him outside. Back in and the slingshot clothesline into the pumphandle slam finishes Gill with ease.

Rating: D+. I’ve always had a soft spot for Bomb so this was a fun match. Bomb was someone with the size and athleticism to make it work but it’s not like he had that high of a ceiling. His southern hick voice didn’t help things but I thought he could have been fine as a midcard star and maybe even an Intercontinental Title challenger. Or maybe he could go nowhere while the WWF came up with one horrible idea after another.

A man goes to confession but his priest is watching wrestling. Dig the New Generation. Voiceover: “Put your faith in us.”

Bushwhackers vs. Barry Hardy/Burt Centino

Now you know as well as I do that the WWF doesn’t get the irony of going from a New Generation ad to THE BUSHWHACKERS in 1994. Butch and Hardy start things off and the latter is already in trouble. A bite of the trunks connects as Knuckleball Schwartz is on strike in the crowd. Centino and Luke come in with the latter hitting a clothesline for no count as Hardy comes in. Butch shoves Hardy onto Centino and counts two, which is too far for the referee. A chop staggers Centino and the Battering Ram is good for the pin.

Rating: D. The Bushwhackers in the last match on the show in 1994? For the life of me I don’t get why this took place but that’s what you get around this time. It wasn’t even a good squash as it was mainly comedy, but what else could be expected here? At least it was short, and that’s the signature line about any horrible match.

We end with a preview of next week’s show, with Duke Droese vs. Jerry Lawler listed twice for some reason.

Overall Rating: D. As usual, Shawn and Diesel were the highlights here and they weren’t exactly thrilling. This is a horrible time for the company and the New Generation still wasn’t taking off yet. They needed something to get them a breath of fresh air and that would wind up being Diesel. Based on the reaction he got here, you can’t blame them. You can blame them for the rest of the show though, which was pretty horrible.

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Monday Night Raw – December 12, 2005: The Theme Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2005
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s officially a new era as Eric Bischoff was fired last week. That ends a three and a half year reign from Bischoff, meaning we now need a new boss. Or maybe not at the time as we have the build for the Elimination Chamber to get us through the next week or two. That could make for some good stuff so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s trial and Eric Bischoff being fired.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going, but first he has to throw away a microphone that doesn’t work. Last week he fired Eric Bischoff and that isn’t changing. Oh and Merry Christmas to Eric and his family. As for a new GM, Vince has some options. Maybe Stephanie McMahon or Shane McMahon, or Theo Epstein or Ted Turner. It might even be one of the fans here! Vince: “Just ribbing. It won’t be one of you.”

Vince has assigned someone to be the interim GM for tonight. He’s a business genius, handsome and one virile SOB. Naturally that’s Vince himself, and tonight it’s the Elimination Chamber qualifying matches. We’ll start with this, and the fans will NOT be censored during his entrance.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Flair headlocks him down to start and Angle is already bailing into the corner. With the WOOing out of the way, Angle drives him into the corner and pounds away. Some chops don’t do Flair much good so it’s a German suplex into the ankle lock. A few dives allow Flair to make it to the rope so Angle grapevines it for the four count as we take a break.

Back with Flair fighting out of a chinlock and belly to back suplexing his way to freedom. The Figure Four goes on but it’s pretty close to the rope and doesn’t last long. The leg is fine enough to pop off an overhead belly to belly but Flair chops him to the floor. Angle grabs a chair so the referee gets rid of them, allowing Angle to whip out a gold medal and knock Flair silly for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the end and I’m always appreciative of protecting a champion. Angle beating Flair on his own wouldn’t have been horrible but there’s no need to have the champ lose again so soon after Survivor Series. I could go for more of this, though it would just make me wonder what they could have done in their primes.

Post match Angle goes on a rant about how Raw is going to Afghanistan next week for a Tribute to the Troops. It’s voluntary though and Angle is NOT going because the troops have done nothing for him. MAYBE is they catch Osama Bin Laden, he’ll go over there and sign some autographs.

We cut to Daivari in the back in front of statues of Boston sports legends Larry Bird and Bobby Orr. He whips out some spray paint so he can treat them like Americans treat Angle but here’s angry John Cena to cut them off. Cena goes on a rant about how Angle won’t go honor the troops that keep him safe. Half of the people think Cena sucks too so but that’s because we’re in AMERICA! With no American soldiers there are no American heroes, and you can’t see him, so he spray paints the camera lens.

Edge and Lita mock Flair for being arrested. A fight is teased but goes nowhere.

Shelton Benjamin comes in to see Shawn Michaels and asks him about last week when Shawn wanted an attitude. That’s what Shelton gave him and now Shawn isn’t happy. Tonight, Shelton is qualifying for the Elimination Chamber and he hopes Shawn is there. Shelton hands Shawn a copy of Shawn’s book to show him….I’m not sure actually.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Shelton jumps him at the bell to start and Carlito is stomped to the floor early on. Back in and a quick belly to belly drops Carlito again. Shelton follows him to the floor for some clotheslines but Carlito rams him into the apron. Back in again and the Backstabber drops Shelton, followed by a backbreaker to keep the focus strong.

The Boston crab is broken up in a hurry and Shelton hits a Samoan drop into some clotheslines. A sunset flip connects but Carlito grabs the referee to get a slight delay. Carlito hits him in the back but walks into the exploder….for no cover. Instead Shelton grabs the apple and takes a bite, allowing Carlito to small package him for the pin.

Rating: C-. What does it say that Shelton is moving up in the world by having a reason for him to lose? This just keeps getting worse and worse but for some reason WWE doesn’t see much in Shelton. I’m not a big Carlito guy but in this case, he’s the right choice to put into the match. Granted the match might not be the best idea, though that has never stopped them before.

Trevor Murdoch talks to Vince about being the GM. Vince throws him out for having tobacco and moves on to find Candice Michelle. The word position is mentioned several times and lingerie is revealed. Kurt Angle storms in and Vince is ready to kill him as we go to a break.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Big Show vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn gets thrown into the corner to start and has to chop his way out of a chokeslam attempt. A low bridge puts Show on the floor but he catches the dive and throws Shawn back in. The big elbow misses so Show goes with the bearhug instead. That’s broken up so Shawn chops away, only to have the forearm pulled out of the air.

Rating: C+. Shawn was moving out there and had you believing that this could go either way, which is hard to do in about five and a half minutes. The ending sets up a match at No Year’s Revolution and gave us a few entertaining minutes of action. Not too bad, but Shawn can make something work out of almost any situation.

Kurt demands a title match against Cena tonight but Vince reminds him that this isn’t Eric Bischoff’s Raw anymore. Instead, Vince gives Cena a You Can’t See Me match against Daivari, meaning Cena will be blindfolded. Oh and you can disrespect the troops and Larry Bird, but NEVER interrupt him. Angle and Daivari leave so Vince can admire Candice’s magic wand (minus Candice).

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Chris Masters vs. Viscera

Masters powers him into the corner but Viscera comes out with a slam. An elbow gives Viscera two and he falls on top of Masters for daring to try a slam of his own. The Masterlock doesn’t work as Viscera drives him into the corner, setting up a side slam. A Samoan drop puts him down as well, only to have Masters drop toehold him into the corner. The Masterlock to a kneeling Viscera is good for the submission.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t too bad all things considered. Who would have expected anything from these two? Masters getting the hold on Viscera was kind of impressive and the match wound up being a decent enough power showdown. I still don’t see Masters as anything more than a midcarder, but like Carlito, he’s the right choice at this point.

Smackdown Rebound.

Trish Stratus went to talk to Mickie James but Mickie tells a story about growing up watching wrestling with her grandfather. He took her to Wrestlemania X7 where Trish stood up to Vince McMahon (Mickie: “You were totally sleeping with him!”) and then he died soon after. Now she has a #1 contenders match and might get to be in the ring with Trish! Mickie starts crying and Trish suddenly can’t remember what she came here for. Sounds like a delayed breakup.

Here’s Matt Striker to teach us something. His blackboard says Family Values, which have been forgotten. Like working mothers. What happened to mothers who did work when they weren’t on their back? Striker wants to know where the fathers are, but here in Massachusetts, they’re probably marrying each other.

Striker brings up the gay marriage law in Massachusetts and says “that’s the sort of thing that is ruining our country.” The people here are uneducated and that’s where he comes in. He’ll be your father figure! There’s a line in there that wasn’t good when it aired and has aged even more horribly. That would be “Here’s Matt Striker.”

Chris Nowinski and Dusty Rhodes both apply to be General Manager.

Victoria vs. Mickie James

The winner gets Trish, on commentary, for the title at New Year’s Revolution. Victoria starts fast with the spinning side slam for two but a standing moonsault hits knees. Mickie slugs away to knock her into the corner as Trish sounds nervous about the idea of facing Trish. Victoria comes back with a quickly broken Boston crab so it’s the MickieDT to give Mickie the pin and make Trish a little more anxious.

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have the time to go anywhere and that’s fine. You’re only going to get so much out of a short match like this, which is even more frustrating when these two are capable of doing more. The women’s division has been three people for a long time now and that needs to change. I mean it probably won’t, but it should.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: HHH vs. Kane

HHH charges into a clothesline to start and Kane hammers away in the corner. The big choke has HHH in more trouble so he goes to the knee. Kane whips him over the corner for the big crash to the floor though and we take a break. Back with HHH hitting a spinebuster but the sleeper is broken in a hurry.

The powerslam sends HHH down again but HHH rolls outside before the top rope clothesline can launch. Back in and the facebuster connects, only to have Kane kick the referee down by mistake. The distraction lets HHH pull out the sledgehammer but here’s the Big Show. Kane gets back up and it’s a double chokeslam for the slow three.

Rating: C-. This was another storyline match but at least they had some time to make it work out a little better. HHH vs. Big Show is a fine enough match, but it’s a little strange to see a Tag Team Champion in a singles match. Much like the women’s division, it’s not like Kane and Show have much competition though so there aren’t many other options.

John Cena vs. Daivari

Non-title, only Cena is blindfolded and yep that’s a major hometown pop. Daivari claps to get Cena’s attention and Cena misses a charge. A slap to the back of the head annoys Cena again and Daivari even talks some trash. Believe it or not that’s not a good idea as Cena gets in a shot to the face. Cena starts pointing for the YES/NO chants from the crowd but Angle gets in a cheap shot. Cena catches Daivari anyway though and it’s the STFU for the fast tap.

Rating: D. These matches almost never work but the fans helping Cena here and keeping it short made this a lot easier to get through. Angle vs. Cena has been done for weeks now though and I really don’t need to see any more of it, even an offshoot like this. At least the hometown boy wins for once though, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a theme show and those can be hit and miss. They did what they needed to do for the Chamber though and that’s a good thing. There were a few other things going on and those feuds are only decent. I’ll give them points for having SOMETHING during the December lull though, as that isn’t often the case. Not a bad show, but it was almost all about one idea and if you didn’t care for it, you weren’t getting much out of this.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – May 11, 2020: Season Premiere

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 11, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s time to start picking things up a lot again around here as Becky Lynch is going to make some kind of major announcement. That sounds like she might be dropping the title, and really that might be the only option as it’s hard to imagine almost anyone beating her. Other than that, it’s hard to say what we’ve got coming up on the way to Backlash next month. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Money in the Bank ladder matches with Asuka and Otis winning the briefcases.

Opening sequence.

Here’s an emotional Becky Lynch without the title but with the Money in the Bank briefcase. She’s upset about something and needs to go away for awhile. That’s why she made asked the powers that be around here to raise the stakes last night. Cue Asuka to scream about the briefcase, but Becky opens it up to reveal the title, which now belongs to Asuka because the ladder match was for the title, not an opportunity at the title. Asuka freaks out and celebrates around the arena. Becky: “You go be a warrior, because I’m gonna go be a mother.” Asuka stops and hugs Becky before chanting her name in a great moment.

Post break a bunch of wrestlers come in to congratulate Lynch on the news.

Bobby Lashley vs. Humberto Carrillo

No DQ and it’s not a good sign that I heard Carrillo’s music and said out loud “do we have to?”. Lashley throws him around to start but gets knocked outside, setting up a suicide dive. That’s knocked away so Lashley grabs a chair, which is dropkicked into his face as we take a break. Back with Carrillo missing a baseball slide but avoiding a big boot and kicking Lashley in the head. A dive off the barricade is pulled out of the air and Carrillo gets posted hard. Carrillo gets the chair though and unloads, only to get caught in a full nelson to make Carrillo tap at 8:40.

Rating: D+. I know they’re trying with Carrillo and want him to be a thing but egads it’s not working. There’s just not much there and it’s showing more and more every single time. He’s fine enough in the ring but the lack of charisma or reason to care is destroying him. Lashley isn’t going to get much further with a full nelson, but the power stuff is better than the Lana nonsense.

The Street Profits are ready to meet the Viking Raiders….in a game of basketball.

The Raiders don’t know why they’re doing this and think karaoke might work. Oh and worry about fouls.

Asuka and Kairi Sane celebrate the title.

Video on Edge vs. Randy Orton at Wrestlemania.

We look back at Apollo Crews getting injured against Angel Garza.

Zelina Vega and company are arguing in the back.

Angel Garza vs. Akira Tozawa

Joined in progress with Garza sending him into the corner and TAKING OFF HIS PANTS. A loud chop in the corner connects as Vega is arguing with Andrade and Austin Theory at ringside. Tozawa snaps off a hurricanrana but gets caught with a pop up kick to the chest. A penalty kick gives Garza two and he loads up the Wing Clipper, yells at Theory, and plants Tozawa for the pin at 2:45. Tozawa’s back and forth booking between Raw and anything related to the Cruiserweight Title tournament continues to astound me.

Post match the team keeps arguing but here’s Drew McIntyre to interrupt. McIntyre is ready to fight and Claymores Theory. Garza and Andrade laugh so it’s a Claymore to Garza, followed by a staredown with Andrade.

Drew McIntyre vs. Andrade

Non-title. McIntyre works on an armbar to start and shouts at Vega a bit. Back up and McIntyre hits a kick to the ribs out of the corner to send Andrade outside. Andrade charges into a tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron as this is one sided so far. Andrade dives under the ring and reaches through the ropes that hold it together to pull McIntyre into the apron.

A baseball slide hits McIntyre in the ribs before Andrade starts in on the arm. Double knees to said arm get two but McIntyre is back with a sitout powerbomb for the same. McIntyre gets sent into the corner for the running knees but the hammerlock DDT is countered into a Glasgow Kiss. The reverse Alabama Slam sets up the Claymore for the pin at 8:34.

Rating: C+. They’re moving with the stories tonight as Vega’s team seems to be on the ropes after only being around for a few weeks. Andrade losing again doesn’t make him look good, but it’s not like his title reign has meant anything in four and a half months anyway. Granted he’s losing to the World Champion so it’s not like it’s some upset. Still though, either protect him or get rid of the title.

Post match Drew says he didn’t come out here for a match but anything can happen on Monday Night Raw. He’s always up for a Claymore party, but he’s here to talk about something else. Last night he was in a heck of a fight with Seth Rollins. He still has the title though and now he has some more exciting news. There is something called the Brand To Brand Invitation, meaning that a wrestler from Smackdown has challenged Drew to a match and it has been accepted. That’s why next week, live on Raw, it’s Drew vs. King Corbin.

MVP asks Lashley when he last had a WWE Title shot. That would be 2007, when MVP was just getting started. Now MVP is back and Lashley is in the same place. When is the real Lashley coming out? MVP walks off and runs into Lana, who he says should let Lashley free. Lana screams. A lot.

It’s time for A Moment Of Bliss with Bliss saying the Man is having a baby. Nikki: “The Man becomes the mom!” Nikki wishes all of the mothers a happy belated Mother’s Day but here are the returning IIconics to interrupt, with Nikki imitating their pose. Peyton doesn’t like being disrespected and the title challenge is on. Nikki says the titles are like their babies so Billie says we can make it non-title. They are the future because they are ICONIC.

IIconics vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

Nikki kicks Peyton to the floor to start and ties her in the ring skirt for the beating. Back in and the IIconics get Cross into the corner for the double teaming. Some rollups give Nikki two but Peyton kicks her down for two. Billie grabs the chinlock and hands it back to Peyton, who gets slammed in a hurry so Nikki can tag Bliss. House is cleaned in a hurry and it’s Insult To Injury for two on Billie. Everything breaks down and a shot to the throat staggers Bliss. Nikki is sent outside and something like a reverse Magic Killer finishes Bliss at 4:28.

Rating: D+. The IIconics aren’t much in the ring and it’s another bad sign for the titles as another team pops up and is now the other half of the division. These might be the least necessary titles in recent memory and it doesn’t make it any better when teams just come and go for months at a time but are suddenly in the title match.

Rey Mysterio, who was thrown off the roof last night, reveals that he landed on a lower roof six feet below so he and Aleister Black are teaming tonight. Seth Rollins, one of Rey’s opponents tonight, comes in to glare at Rey, who congratulates him on becoming a father. Rollins walks away from a handshake.

R-Truth/Ricochet/Cedric Alexander vs. MVP/Brendan Vink/Shane Thorne

Truth dances into the splits to start and makes Thorne sit down in pain. It’s off to Ricochet as Truth becomes Pretty Ricky (crossed eyes, big teeth) on the apron. Vink comes in to elbow Alexander in the face and the pace slows a bit. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by Thorne coming inf or a kick to the back.

Thorne grabs the neck crank and hands it back to Vink, who is kicked in the head. The hot tag brings in Truth (yes Truth, not Ricky) so house can be cleaned on MVP. Everything breaks down and Ricochet moonsaults onto everyone but MVP and Truth. Ricky comes back so MVP knocks out his big teeth, only to get caught in the Lie Detector (and a horrible one at that) for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: D+. Well that was dumb. The Pretty Ricky thing is rather stupid and I have a feeling the big teeth are going to get some people complaining. It wasn’t a good match, but at least MVP took the fall instead of one of the younger people. I still can’t get my head around Vink pinning Ricochet, but they seem to have moved on from that for now at least.

Post match here’s Lashley to spear Truth down and put him in the full nelson. Lashley leaves with MVP.

Jinder Mahal says he’s back.

AJ Styles grabs some popcorn to watch a look at the first episode of the Last Ride.

We look back at Becky’s announcement.

Shayna Baszler can’t believe Becky threw away her career to grow a parasite. Shayna: “Do we know who the father is?”

We look at the first part of the Last Ride.

Becky and Vince McMahon have a moment we can’t hear.

Aleister Black/Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins/Murphy

Yes, a day after what looked like death. Rollins on the other hand seems to be in a trance with his hair all over the place. Black grabs an Octopus on Murphy, followed by a hard armdrag into an armbar. Murphy tries to fight back but Black moonsaults into his sitting position to stare him down. An elbow to the face rocks Black as Rollins still hasn’t moved an inch.

Rating: C. This was an angle instead of a match and that’s ok. Mysterio vs. Rollins could be interesting as Rollins’ Monday Night Messiah deal (assuming it’s still around) wasn’t quite working as a main event story. I’m curious where they’re going with this, but it’s an interesting way to start.

Post match Rollins destroys Mysterio and hits him in the eye. Black gets sent over the barricade and Rollins orders Murphy to step back. Rollins sends Rey face first into the steps and the eye is busted open.

The Viking Raiders practiced basketball to less than successful results. So they know what Carpool Karaoke is but not basketball? WHO WRITES THIS STUFF???

And now, the basketball game between the Raiders and the Profits. Ivar doesn’t know what it means to check and the Profits score without much trouble. The Profits are up big and say they want the smoke. Erik: “Actually, smoking isn’t good for you.” Ivar rolls the ball to Erik, whose shot is blocked without much trouble.

Dawkins knew white men couldn’t jump but they weren’t sure about vikings. It’s 49-0 late in the third quarter and Ford hits a three from half court. Erik picks Ivar up and calls a foul on himself. The Vikings score late and claim a victory, despite the score being 74-2 with the Vikings having committed 19 fouls.

AND THAT’S IT! That’s the whole segment. The Tag Team Champions and the team that beat them last week just played a game of basketball where the Profits destroyed them because the Vikings, at least one of whom can drive and knows how to write a song about worshiping Thor, don’t know how basketball works. I’d pay to see the production meeting where this was written, but it might give me hives.

Natalya doesn’t like Shayna disrespecting motherhood but Shayna says Natalya will never have a kid. The Hart Dynasty dies with her.

Back on the basketball court, it turns out that the Raiders were faking and are quite good at basketball, including Ivar being able to dunk. So wait….you know, actually I’m good. I don’t want to know anything more about this.

And before someone misses the point and explains the idea of “anything you can do I can do better”, I get it. This was just really stupid, as the champs shrugged off the loss from last week, after apparently being eaten up by not being able to beat the Raiders, and played basketball with them.

Shayna Baszler vs. Natalya

Natalya takes her down to start but Shayna drives her into the corner and dances a bit. That earns her some applause from Natalya, who tries to roll her into the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up so Baszler misses the stomp on the arm, only to knee Natalya in the head for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Baszler was a great jerk earlier but there is only so much that can be done in a short match against Natalya. It was a lot better than having Natalya try to be emotional though as she just isn’t that good at doing so. The knee to the face for the pin looked good though and Baszler could be a great challenger for a face Asuka.

Post match Natalya freaks out over the loss. Yeah still not interesting.

King Corbin doesn’t feel bad about throwing Black and Mysterio off the roof because they’re fine. He’s able to take Drew on next week because Corbin made him the champion. Next week, Corbin is taking him out.

Next week: the IIconics get a Women’s Tag Team Title shot.

Here’s Edge for the big closing segment. He knows his career didn’t end at Wrestlemania but why is he confronting Randy Orton? Edge got his pound of flesh at Wrestlemania….and here’s Orton. Randy says congratulations because the better man won. Orton goes to leave but turns around and comes back because he can’t be the bigger man. The better man won at Wrestlemania but the better wrestler didn’t.

Edge hid behind other wrestlers at the Royal Rumble and then incapacitated Orton at Wrestlemania. He might not have gotten up at ten but it didn’t take him nine years to make it back. Orton talks about how Edge hasn’t had a regular match since 2011 and his grit and passion won’t help him there. If Edge has the guts, they’ll have a straight up wrestling match at Backlash. Edge doesn’t say anything but Charly Caruso says if it happens, it might be the greatest wrestling match ever. Try to get your head around that one to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place with one story after another. What matters though is they felt like they were trying again. The energy was back and while a lot of it was in the wrong direction (Basketball? MORE CORBIN???), it was a big difference than the dead shows that we’ve been seeing as of late. Last week had better matches and was a better show on its own, but this one had some stuff that made me want to watch again. You can tell Money in the Bank season is over because there was a point to stuff here. Maybe not good points, but points nonetheless.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Humberto Carrillo – Full nelson

Angel Garza b. Akira Tozawa – Wing Clipper

Drew McIntyre b. Andrade – Claymore

IIconics b. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross – Spinning faceplant to Bliss

R-Truth/Ricochet/Cedric Alexander b. Brendan Vink/Shane Thorne/MVP – Lie Detector to MVP

Aleister Black/Rey Mysterio b. Seth Rollins/Murphy via DQ when Rollins attacked Mysterio in the ropes

Shayna Baszler b. Natalya – Knee to the face

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6