Smackdown – February 11, 2022: They Picked It Up

Smackdown
Date: February 11, 2022
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

We have less than ten days before Elimination Chamber and the only big thing on the Smackdown side is Goldberg vs. Roman Reigns. That might not sound too appealing, but that’s what the people paying for Elimination Chamber want to see. Other than that, we have the fallout from Ronda Rousey destroying Sonya Deville and choosing to face Charlotte at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Ronda Rousey picking Charlotte for Wrestlemania and also taking out Sonya Deville for a bonus.

Here is Sonya Deville, with her arm in a sling, to say she is tired of people disrespecting her. There will be consequences for the actions of people like Ronda Rousey and Naomi. Therefore, she has requested that Rousey be fined $100,000 and suspended indefinitely. Cue Adam Pearce to say Vince McMahon has responded to her request via email.

Said email says that Vince doesn’t like someone abusing their authority, so not only is the request denied, but if Sonya gets involved in Naomi vs. Charlotte, her job will be….IN SERIOUS JEOPARDY. Cue Naomi to say that Sonya can’t touch her, but Naomi can do this. A loud slap drops Sonya, who is not happy.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

We look back at Kofi Kingston/Big E. taking out Los Lotharios in a pretty good match last week.

Big E./Kofi Kingston vs. Los Lotharios

After a quick chat in the back about how great Los Lotharios are and the Los Lotharios Kiss Cam, we’re ready to go. Big E. cranks on a headlock to Angel before Kofi comes in with a splash for two. It’s off to Angel, who takes Kofi into the corner for some crossface shots to the jaw. Humberto adds some forearms to the back but Kingston sweeps his leg out. That’s enough to set up Big E.’s apron splash and there’s the big dive to take Los Lotharios out at the same time.

We come back from a break with Angel pounding on Big E. and TAKING OFF HIS (own) PANTS. Big E. gets up and brings in Kofi as everything breaks down. A top rope double stomp/powerbomb combination gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Angel hits a Backstabber and sends Big E. outside for a moonsault (with his leg smacking Big E. in the head). Another moonsault press gives Humberto two on Kofi but he’s back up with Trouble in Paradise. Kofi tries a tornado DDT out of the corner but Garza slips off and stacks Kofi up for the clean pin at 10:24.

Rating: B-. Remember last week when New Day beat Los Lotharios? Well this is the same thing but the opposite, because WWE loves doing this kind of thing. The good thing is that the match worked a little better than their usual efforts, as WWE has a bad tendency to run nothing matches back in a trilogy for some weird reason. Odds are this gets a third try, as the tag division continues to spin its wheels.

The Usos jump the Viking Raiders and leave them laying.

We look back at Goldberg returning and challenging Roman Reigns for Elimination Chamber.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman. Neither of them seem overly worried about Goldberg, with Reigns saying that if he was in WCW when Goldberg had his winning streak, WCW would still be in business. After a clip of Goldberg squashing Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series 2016, Reigns laughs them off as old news. Reigns doesn’t think much of the idea that he and Goldberg were supposed to fight two years ago at Wrestlemania. He wants to slap Goldberg in the face and get him out of here again. Preach it brother.

Recap of Aliyah vs. Natalya, with Aliyah beating her three times in a row.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

Pinfall or submission only. Natalya shoulders her down to start and they dive over each other a few times. A Michinoku Driver gives Natalya two but Aliyah is back with a Thesz press. Natalya shrugs that off and puts on the Sharpshooter, sending Aliyah to the ropes. That has no impact though as there are no disqualifications, meaning Aliyah has to tap at 2:40. So Aliyah beat her and beat her and beat her and then lost. Got it.

Post match Natalya stays on her but Xia Li runs in for the save.

We get a Rock narrated video on Rocky Johnson for Black History Month.

It’s time for InZayn, but first we see Johnny Knoxville wrecking a bunch of Sami Zayn merchandise earlier today. Sami says he’s on to bigger things like getting his Intercontinental Title back, which doesn’t go over so well with the crowd. The booing doesn’t work on a podcast so Zayn promises then vegan creole recipes for later. That brings out his guests, Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura, with Sami promising to take the title last week.

Nakamura asks if Sami saw the movie, meaning Jackass Defeated, which comes out next week. Sami doesn’t think much of Boogs, who can lift all the weights he wants. Boogs reaches for the microphone….and gets electrocuted, sending him down into the corner. Nakamura goes to check on him and gets jumped by Sami, who leaves them both laying. After that live electrocution, we’re ready to move on.

We look back at Drew McIntyre taking out Madcap Moss last week.

Madcap Moss, with a black eye, says he can’t be in Happy Corbin’s corner this week.

Happy Corbin vs. Cesaro

Corbin takes him into the corner to start and starts the pounding. Deep Six cuts off the Cesaro comeback but he sends Corbin into the corner as well. That means the slide under the ropes but they fight to the floor, with Cesaro hitting a running uppercut. Back in and Cesaro hits the springboard corkscrew uppercut for two but Corbin grabs the End of Days at 3:58.

Rating: C. This was a match where they didn’t have a chance to do much and Cesaro was there to make Corbin look good. You need to keep Corbin strong for the Wrestlemania match with Drew McIntyre, because that’s what we’ll be seeing for some reason. Corbin is better without Madcap Moss, but egads I could go for something other than Corbin for McIntyre.

We go to Madcap Moss getting his eye looked at when Drew McIntyre comes in. He knows Moss’ eye is ok, which is why their match at Elimination Chamber is now Falls Count Anywhere.

Charlotte is ready to retain the Women’s Title.

We get a sitdown interview with Goldberg and Michael Cole, who Goldberg says he loves like a brother. Goldberg promises that this is a comeback that will bring back the old him. It’s two years in the making, ten years in the making or fifteen years in the making. Reigns has promised to “Goldberg Goldberg”, but Goldberg promises to make Reigns acknowledge him.

Here’s the opening segment again.

Sheamus was the honorary starter at a NASCAR race.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Naomi

Naomi is challenging and Sonya Deville can’t get involved. Charlotte runs her over to start but Naomi is back up with a whip into the corner. An enziguri sends Charlotte outside and there’s a slingshot corkscrew dive to send us to a break. Back with Naomi in trouble but managing to catch her with a high crossbody for two. The Figure Four necklock is broken up so Charlotte chops away instead. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Charlotte two more and she bends Naomi’s back around the post.

Back in and Naomi manages some kicks to the head, setting up a Blockbuster for two more. They head outside with Charlotte sending her into the steps for a crash as we take another break. Back again with Naomi fighting out of a chinlock and hitting another springboard spinning kick to the face. A bulldog drives Charlotte face first into the middle turnbuckle but Charlotte plants her with a powerbomb for two of her own.

The double moonsault hits raised knees though and Naomi hits the Rear View for a very close two. Naomi loads up the split legged moonsault but hits raised knees as well to give Charlotte two more. A (not great) rollup gives Naomi another near fall and she plants Charlotte with a headscissors driver. Now the split legged moonsault connects for two, as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Some forearms have Charlotte in trouble and a kick to the head staggers her again. Another Rear View misses though and the Natural Selection retains the title at 19:50.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they were rolling by the end, especially after the second break. They had some great near falls with Naomi getting so close to the title before falling short. One of the good things about Charlotte losing her title over and over is that there is a chance she could lose the title here and then get it back to set up the Wrestlemania title match all over again. Heck of a match here and worth a look.

Post match Sonya Deville is here to go after Naomi, with Charlotte coming back in to kick Naomi in the face. The beatdown is on until Ronda Rousey runs in for the save.

Overall Rating: B. They had some good stuff here, with the wrestling being solid for the most part, including a pretty awesome main event. The setback here was the focus on Goldberg vs. Roman Reigns, which isn’t exactly enthralling. At least they kept the Goldberg segment short, because talking really isn’t his thing. The main event really pulled this up, though the bad things kept the show from hitting that much higher level.

Results
Los Lotharios b. Kofi Kingston/Big E. – Rollup to Kingston
Natalya b. Aliyah – Sharpshooter
Happy Corbin b. Cesaro – End of Days
Charlotte b. Naomi – Natural Selection

 

 

 

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Smackdown – August 31, 2007: The Badly Executed Concept Show

Smackdown
Date: August 31, 2007
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with Summerslam and that means it is time to start getting ready for Unforgiven. While a series of vignettes has already said that Undertaker will be back, likely to face Mark Henry, we are also likely getting another Batista vs. Great Khali match for the World Title. It wasn’t pretty the first time, but Khali got himself disqualified to set up a likely rematch. Happy day to us. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Rey Mysterio is back tonight.

Teddy Long is in the ring with the Great Khali and Runjin Singh. Long gets straight to the point: tonight it’s a Championship Competition to crown a new #1 contender. First up, it’s Finlay vs. Kane, with the winner facing the winner of the winner of Rey Mysterio vs. Batista for the Unforgiven title shot. Back in my day we called that a tournament but that doesn’t have alliteration.

Championship Competition First Round: Kane vs. Finlay

Kane doesn’t have his ribs taped this time. Finlay puts the Shillelagh down in the corner so Kane picks it up to change things a bit. The referee makes him drop it, allowing Hornswoggle to pop up and take it away. Kane knocks Finlay down and hits a basement dropkick, which has JBL talking about a pot of neckbone.

They head outside with Kane being sent into the steps to bang up the ribs again. Back in and Finlay hits his own basement dropkick but Kane kicks him away for a breather. Kane goes with a simple strategy of hit Finlay in the face, setting up the side slam. The chokeslam connects but Kane loads up the Tombstone (which he hasn’t used in a long time). Finlay slips out and it’s a Hornswoggle distraction so the Shillelagh can knock Kane cold for the pin.

Rating: C. These two know how to have a hard hitting fight and that ‘s what they did here, albeit with a few shenanigans thrown in. Finlay getting the win is a bit of a surprise, but it isn’t a big enough upset that it is unbelievable. Kane even gets protected thanks to the Shillelagh. They kept to the point here and while it wasn’t as good as the Summerslam match, it was nice to see them do it again.

We look at Deuce N Domino breaking up Matt Hardy and MVP’s game of basketball to help set up this week’s Tag Team Title match.

Jesse and Festus talk about going back to school. Festus did all of the advance learning and learned Latin and advanced trigonometry.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are challenging and have Cherry in their corner. Matt isn’t wasting time and jumps the champs before the bell. That lets MVP grab some early rollups for two each on Domino but Matt tags himself in, much to MVP’s annoyance. The bulldog out of the corner gets two on Domino and a double clothesline takes the champs down. Now it’s MVP tagging himself in, allowing Matt to take his shirt off.

Matt is right back in, as MVP doesn’t seem like he is allowed to do much yet. Domino uses one of the distractions to get in a shot of his own to take over as we take a break. Back with Matt still in trouble in the corner, including Deuce dropping a leg for two. The chinlock goes on and then goes on again after Matt’s comeback is cut off.

Some knees to the face get two on Matt but he fights his way out of the corner for a breather. Domino is sent into Deuce and gets taken down by the Side Effect, allowing the tag off to MVP. Granted it’s in the form of a slap to the face, but Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Domino so MVP can steal the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. They didn’t have many options here as MVP was limited to rollups and covers due to his health issues. There is some good opportunity for some trash talk between the two of them though and the story does have some legs. As for Deuce N Domino, they held the titles for a long time, but there is only so much that can be done when you have no teams to face and have nothing to do most weeks. Maybe Matt and MVP can do better, but there isn’t much of a division to speak of at the moment.

MVP posts with all three titles and Matt is stunned.

Batista comes in to see Vince McMahon, who is rather impressed by Batista’s physique. Vince talks about their various similarities and thinks Batista might be his son. Batista does think there are some similarities, but talks about how he was raised by a single mother who could barely keep food on the table. If Vince was his father and didn’t contribute a dime to anything, violence would ensue. Come to think of it, Vince doesn’t believe they look that much alike.

Teddy Long and Kristal are getting married in three weeks.

Eugene is here with a t-shirt gun but Mark Henry comes out to…well I think you get the idea. Henry says that the Undertaker is coming back at Unforgiven (the Undertaker videos saying UNFORGIVEN might have given it away) so here’s another Undertaker video, with Undertaker’s hand popping out of the ground.

Championship Competition First Round: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

They shake hands and hug to start before Batista powers him into the corner. After a clean break, Batista does it again to prove his point. Rey gets smart by trying the speed and spins around Batista, who blasts him with a clothesline. Batista doesn’t seem happy as he sends Rey outside and then runs him over for two back inside.

The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on for a fairly good while until Rey fights up. A dropkick cuts off Batista’s knee but he hits Rey in the face again. That still doesn’t sit well with Batista, allowing Rey to hit a springboard seated senton for two. Batista plants him with the spinebuster but here is Finlay with a chair. That’s cut off and Batista grabs the chair but shoves the referee does for the DQ by mistake.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly a great match but at least they gave Batista a reason not to crush Rey. It was nice to have something other than destruction and it ties into their history together for a change. The setup of Rey vs. Finlay for the title match is interesting, but it doesn’t leave much for Batista to do.

We take a long look at Vince McMahon on Carlito’s Cabana on Raw, resulting in HHH bringing out a bunch of women from Vince’s past. Hilarity did not ensue.

Ashley is going to be on the next season of Survivor.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for a chat. Vince talks about HHH bringing out a bunch of “freaks” on Monday, but he only has relations with beautiful women. Vince: “They have all felt my rock hard…..body.” Coach wants to prove that Vince has great taste in women by bringing out some women that Vince has, ahem, known over the years. First up is a woman from New York in 1983, who still remembers the unbridled passion.

Next up is New Year’s Eve 1977, which apparently is the first time he met Howard Finkel. Vince doesn’t like that memory so Coach brings out the three women from the same night. That means some details from Vince, with Coach having to cut him off. They’re all happy to remember ringing in the new year with a bang, with Vince seeming pleased.

Finally, we have Mary Katherine…who is now a nun. This has Vince freaked out but she talks about how that one night in 1981 at the Cape Cod Coliseum made her realize that only God could be better than him. Coach: “She was second to none.” Coach laughs at the pun and Vince wants new memories with them together. The women leave so Vince talks about his family showing up this week. Vince can’t stand the attorneys they’re bringing in, but he wants his son to see what family is really like. I don’t see that going well, but it almost has to be better than this stupid thing.

It’s time for Chuck Palumbo to take the Masterlock Challenge. Masters jumps him instead of putting the hold on but gets cleared out.

Raw Rebound.

Jamie Noble is obsessed with taking out Hornswoggle next week. Shannon Moore wishes him luck by putting an “I Heart Leprechauns” sign on his back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

The winner gets a title shot at Great Khali at Unforgiven. Finlay goes after Rey’s bad back to start but gets low bridged to the floor. That means a Hornswoggle distraction so Finlay can sit on Rey’s back as we take a break. Back with Finlay running Rey over and hitting a slam to keep the target simple. The half crab goes on until Rey fights up and hits an enziguri. The 619 to the back of the head sets up a springboard sunset flip to give Rey the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. This was short and another not great match as they were moving pretty fast. The whole thing couldn’t have been nine minutes, which isn’t that long when you have a commercial in the middle. It doesn’t help that we have seen Rey vs. Khali before and it was pretty terrible all things considered. Maybe they can come up with something better this time, but this could bode badly.

Post match Great Khali comes out and goes after Rey but Batista makes the save. Cole and JBL talk about how this is like David vs. Goliath, meaning Rey is going to need a slingshot and God to survive.

Overall Rating: C-. The show had a point and a focus, but that doesn’t mean it was all that interesting. The one night mini tournament was a good way to go, though it would have been nice to have a match that I actually liked watching. They did what they needed to do here, but they did it in about as boring of a way possible. On the bright side, MVP and Matt Hardy as champions could be good, so at least there is something here.

 

 

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Smackdown – February 4, 2022: The Long And Winding Road

Smackdown
Date: February 4, 2022
Location: Paycom Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and it’s time to get going on the Road to Wrestlemania. That is going to get going on this show with a pair of big talking points. First up, Paul Heyman will be explaining why he sided with Roman Reigns and Ronda Rousey might be announcing her Wrestlemania opponent. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar getting screwed out of the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble but then coming back to win the Royal Rumble later in the night. Then he announced that he will be challenging Roman Reigns for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going, complete with a look at Reigns retaining the Universal Title over Seth Rollins at the Royal Rumble. Paul Heyman talks about how there was no plot or plan, because he made a huge mistake by telling Reigns what he thought. He felt that Reigns needed to be protected and he made a mistake. The Coronavirus picked the wrong human to infect and Heyman got Lesnar the WWE Title match. It would leave everyone where they needed to be…except for Heyman when it comes to Reigns.

On Lesnar’s first night as champion, he came to Smackdown and challenged Reigns to a title for title match at Wrestlemania. Heyman says Lesnar was as stupid as he looked because he was stuck with a happy Saskatchewan farmer who wants to take everyone to Suplex City. Then we got to the Royal Rumble, where the Goat slayed the Beast to save Heyman from having to say the same things over and over.

Heyman starts saying the catchphrase but says you will never hear it again. He now realizes the truth: Lesnar needs to be protected from Reigns. Then Reigns offered him the hand of the Bloodline, which is why Heyman handed over the title to smash Lesnar in the face with it. Now there will be no title for title match because Lesnar will acknowledge Roman Reigns, which Heyman demonstrates.

Heyman tells the fans to acknowledge the Tribal Chief…..and it’s Goldberg time. Goldberg comes to the ring and gets straight to the point with the challenge for Elimination Chamber. For the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE DO THE MATCH ALREADY! WWE has been threatening us with this stupid match for two years now so let them do it already and get it out of their system.

Ridge Holland vs. Ricochet

Sheamus and Cesaro are here too. Holland shoulders him down to start but Ricochet flips over him. Another dodge sends Holland outside but he avoids a charge and drops Ricochet face first onto the apron. Holland stops to say something to Sheamus though and it’s a Codebreaker to give Ricochet the pin at 1:50.

Cesaro/Ricochet vs. Ridge Holland/Sheamus

Joined in progress after a break (thankfully without needing to show someone coming out and making the match) with Sheamus hitting the forearms to Cesaro’s chest and then clotheslining him back in. Pat McAfee is holding the Shillelagh as Cesaro fights out of a chinlock and hands it back to Ricochet to pick up the pace.

A springboard forearm sets up a Lionsault for two as everything breaks down. Cesaro rolls Sheamus up for two but charges into a boot in the corner. A dropkick catches Sheamus with a dropkick on top but Holland tags himself in as Sheamus gets superplexed. Northern Grit finishes Cesaro at 2:54 to get his heat back after all of five minutes later.

Jimmy Uso vs. Erik

Preview of the Tag Team Title match at Elimination Chamber because this is how WWE hypes up tag team matches. Erik slips out of a fireman’s carry to start and blasts Jimmy with a knee to the face. Ivar and Jey get into it on the floor, leaving Jimmy to superkick Erik down. The Superfly Splash (with the We The Ones pose in the air) finishes for Jimmy at 1:14 to continue the fast matches and weird booking choices.

We look at Aliyah beating Natalya in three seconds a few weeks ago. Then Natalya beat her up for a DQ in a rematch.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

Aliyah brags about the 3:17 record winning time but gets picked up without much effort. Back up and Aliyah gets in a takedown for some right hands of her own. A Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog gets two, meaning it’s a shocked near fall face. Natalya hits the discus lariat and they head outside. This time Natalya beats her down for a good while, only to get sent into the barricade to give Aliyah the countout win at 2:22.

Here is the returning Drew McIntyre to say he is back. Before he can get very far, here is Happy Corbin for a distraction, but McIntyre pulls the sword out to stop a charging Madcap Moss. McIntyre wants to hear a funny joke about himself, with Moss saying that Wrestlemania is like a criminal who beats the charges: they both get off Scot-free. That earns him a Claymore (McIntyre: “Idiot.”) and McIntyre promises to make Corbin’s life h***.

Sami Zayn crashed the Jackass Forever premiere and got taken out by security. Johnny Knoxville even stabs him with an electric stick.

Zayn complains to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville about letting that air on television. To calm him down, he gets his Intercontinental Title match in two weeks. Pearce: “Should we invite Johnny Knoxville?” Zayn leaves and it’s Natalya coming in, saying she wants Aliyah next week, pinfall or submission only, Dungeon Style. Deal.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Championship Contenders match and Rick Boogs’ guitar doesn’t work so McAfee dances to the entrance music instead. Boogs and Shanky are here too and here is Sami Zayn to join commentary. Nakamura starts fast with the sliding German suplex but Kinshasa is countered into a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Mahal punches him down and we hit the chinlock. The Khallas is broken up and Nakamura kicks him in the face. Kinshasa finishes for Nakamura at 3:14.

Rating: C-. At least they seem to have dropped the idea of Mahal as a thing, which is good news for everyone. Zayn has a good chance of winning the title in two weeks, which will end one of the most under the radar six months reigns since Nakamura’s last under the radar six months reigns. This was your usually dull Mahal match, but that shouldn’t be a surprise these days.

We look at Sonya Deville eliminating Naomi from the Royal Rumble.

Naomi wants Sonya to face her in the ring in five minutes. Sonya says she’s busy so Naomi wants to do it next week. That won’t work either, because Naomi is getting a Smackdown Women’s Title match next week. Naomi doesn’t buy it but Adam Pearce says it’s for real.

Video on Goldberg.

Natalya goes to explain what Dungeon Style means to the bosses (which she couldn’t do when she was in the room with them earlier). Xia Li walks out of the office instead though and Natalya decides to do this later.

New Day vs. Los Lotharios

This is the result of New Day interrupting Los Lotharios’ Valentine’s Day photo shoot. Kofi sends Humberto into the corner to start and rolls him up for two. An Angel distraction lets Humberto get in a cheap shot from behind though and everything breaks down. Kofi gets kicked down and we take a break.

Back with Garza TAKING OFF HIS PANTS and kicking Kingston in the ribs. Angel gets two off a belly to back suplex but Kofi kicks a moonsault out of the air. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house, setting up a wheelbarrow suplex into a top rope bulldog from Kofi….for two as Humberto makes the save. Big E. misses the spear to the floor and gets moonsaulted from the top, setting up a Doomsday dropkick for two on Kofi. The Wing Clipper is broken up and it’s back to Big E. for the Midnight Hour and the pin at 9:43.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one as they did a big false finish which seemed to confuse commentary as well. If nothing else, it’s weird to debut a big move like that and then have it get two, but it was indeed a surprise twist. That being said, it would be nice if WWE did something new with New Day, as you can almost feel the Usos showdown coming.

Here are Charlotte and Sonya Deville for the Ronda Rousey Wrestlemania announcement. Deville says Rousey has picked Becky Lynch for Wrestlemania so Charlotte gets to pick her opponent. Charlotte mocks the idea of facing Ronda, who hasn’t done anything since she lost the title. So pick anyone for Wrestlemania because it doesn’t matter. She’ll pick Sasha Banks, who isn’t even here tonight.

Charlotte wishes Banks was here tonight because Wrestlemania will be the best and worst day of her life. She can come sign the contract….and here is Rousey to interrupt. Rousey won the Rumble and says she gets to pick who she faces at Wrestlemania. She didn’t fly into an ice storm with her baby for a chat though and now Charlotte gets to learn the family business of a beating.

Charlotte isn’t special, but she is first. Rousey will see her at Wrestlemania, so the match is on. Charlotte says the title is her baby and prettier than Rousey’s. The jacket comes off so Sonya tries to break it up and gets caught in the piper’s Pit. Rousey snaps the arm for a bonus. So the Becky vs. Rousey thing was a lie and Charlotte vs. Banks isn’t happening? Why bother mentioning them in the first place then?

Overall Rating: C-. The short wrestling was a bit weird this week but they are clearly starting to move towards Wrestlemania. Elimination Chamber still needs to get done as well though, and that makes for a bit of a weird schedule. I’m rather glad that they’re getting Goldberg vs. Reigns out of the way already, but it could make for a long two weeks on the way there. The rest of the show wasn’t great with very little in the way of quality wrestling, but now we should be cranking it up in the coming weeks.

Results
Ricochet b. Ridge Holland – Codebreaker
Ridge Holland/Sheamus b. Cesaro/Ricochet – Northern Grit to Cesaro
Jimmy Uso b. Erik – Superfly Splash
Aliyah b. Natalya via countout
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jinder Mahal – Kinshasa
New Day b. Los Lotharios – Midnight Hour to Angel

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – August 24, 2007: The Safety Is On

Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2007
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the question remains who can stop Great Khali. Batista gets his chance in two days but things are not exactly looking great for him. Other than that, Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman continue their search for Vince’s son, meaning hijinks are likely to continue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show, with Great Khali Clawing/head vicing Batista down again.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for a chat. They are continuing their investigation into Vince’s illegitimate son and the search is continuing tonight. Coach wants to look at things scientifically and asks what we know about Vince. We know that he is tall, he is powerful and he likes to make people’s lives h***. No one is like that around here…and here is Kane to interrupt. Kane smiles at Vince, who says there is no way this monster is his son. Coach: “He does appear to have your eye.”

Kane talks about how Vince was not there for him as a kid when Kane started his first fire or killed his first squirrel. That being said, all Kane wants is Finlay, which seems to please Vince. After making sure Kane doesn’t want his money, Vince makes Kane vs. Finlay for Summerslam, which works just fine.

Cue Chris Masters to say he has proof that he is Vince’s son. First of all, Kane is too ugly to be Vince’s son (that’s good for a glare from Kane), plus a photo of Masters meeting Vince when he was fifteen (Vince: “You look ten.). Masters is willing to prove himself with the Masterlock Challenge right now, with Kane agreeing. Kane is a bit too big though and Masters can’t get the hold, so he offers to put Masters in the hold himself. That just earns Masters a chokeslam and Kane leaves. Cue Chuck Palumbo, and since we have a referee and two wrestlers, Vince says ring the bell.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo punches away to start and hits a clothesline to drop Masters again. Masters get sin a cheap shot and a slam, only to walk into an overhead belly to belly. Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Chavo still has Rey Mysterio’s mask, which is on a mannequin head this week. A slam and an uppercut have Funaki in early trouble but he manages a quick shot of his own. Chavo crotches him on top though and we’re back to the stomping. Funaki’s knee is wrapped around the post and Chavo cranks on it so much that the referee calls for the DQ.

Post match Chavo keeps beating Funaki down as WWE desperately tries to get us to believe that Chavo Guerrero is a threat to a returning Rey Mysterio. They’re doing everything right with the actions and violence, but it’s still Chavo Guerrero. Chavo puts the Rey mask on Funaki and crushes his leg with a chair. Fans: “CHAVO SUCKS!’’ Chavo: “REY MYSTERIO SUCKS!!!”

Rey Mysterio video.

Jamie Noble vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

For the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title as we continue to protect most of the wrestlers on Summerslam. Yang kicks him down without much trouble and hits an early standing moonsault. Back up and Noble hits him in the face, setting up a waistlock to work on the ribs. That’s countered with a catapult to send Noble into the corner and a top rope hurricanrana gives Yang two. The top rope moonsault press misses though and Noble’s fireman’s carry gutbuster ends the battle of the Jung Dragons.

Post match Noble dives under the ring to find Hornswoggle but finds…no one. As Noble leaves, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring.

We look at Evander Holyfield vs. Matt Hardy in a boxing match at Saturday Night’s Main Event until Holyfield got sick of MVP telling him to hurt Hardy even more.

Teddy Long doesn’t get to see Kristal in her swimsuit before tonight’s contest but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP talks about how great he is and how he could win any title. He could even win the Tag Team Titles with Teddy’s grandmother, or whoever else walks into this office. Cue Matt Hardy and arguing ensues after the announcement of the Tag Team Title match next week.

Vince McMahon and Coach come up to Chuck Palumbo, next to his motorcycle. After explaining that it’s Mr. McMahon, they talk about their love of bikes, but don’t worry because Palumbo knows who his dad is. One day his dad had a bit too much to drink and drove his bike into an 18 wheeler. Coach says they’re so sorry. Palumbo: “Not as sorry as my mom. She was driving the 18 wheeler.” Coach and Vince awkwardly leave.

Deuce N Domino vs. Eugene/Shannon Moore

Non-title and Deuce N Domino have Cherry with them. Eugene works on Deuce’s arm to start and hands it off to Shannon for the same. A Whisper in the Wind is pulled off the top though and it’s Domino getting to stomp away. That doesn’t last long as it’s back to Eugene to clean at least a few rooms. Eugene backdrops Moore onto Domino but Deuce kicks him in the face for the fast pin.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

And now, Matt Hardy and MVP play basketball. It’s first to eleven wins and yes this is non-title. Before the game, MVP brags about how good he is, misses a shot, and then dunks to make it better. MVP: “This is one I picked up when I was hanging out in the ski lodge with Kobe.” Matt finally comes out to interrupt, hits him in the head with the ball and scores, only to have Deuce N Domino come in to beat them both down.

Mark Henry vs. Brad Allen

Allen is sent into the post, powerslammed and bearhugged for the easy win.

Post match, Henry wants to know what is up with the Undertaker symbolism, like THE SAND! Undertaker’s video appears again and this time someone finds a box buried in the sand. There are a bunch of snakes inside, plus the Undertaker’s symbol. Henry is panicked.

Raw Rebound.

Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce a Summerslam bikini contest between Kristal, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool and Victoria. They all disrobe, Victoria dances badly and…we have a surprise entrant: South Carolina’s own Mae Young! Mae disrobes, has to be held back from disrobing further, and wins.

Jesse and Festus love barbecue, with Festus being great at grilling steak tartar. Cole calls them the Daltons, which I don’t believe has been used since they started these vignettes.

Summerslam rundown.

We see the opening vignette again, as Great Khali is still the big monster.

Batista vs. Finlay

Batista shoves him around to start, which might be due to Finlay not being able to see through the smoke from Batista’s pyro. Finlay gets in a few shots of his own to knock him outside. That means a quick posting and here is Great Khali to watch as we take a break. Back with Finlay holding him in something like a Crossface until Batista Stuns his way to freedom.

Finlay actually hits a dropkick to cut him off again but Batista fights up even faster this time. They head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table, only to get caught with a hanging neckbreaker on the way back in. The swinging Boss Man Slam plants Finlay again but Khali comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was the usual power match with Finlay being a good villain to go after Batista. The ending was not that much of a surprise and that’s ok in this case, though having Khali come out made the ending a bit more obvious. I can get why you don’t have Batista or Finlay lose so close to Summerslam, but it wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match Khali chops Batista down but can’t get the vice grip. Instead, Batista spears him down and hammers away until Finlay makes the save. Batista fights back again and pounds on Khali again until referees break it up. Well try to at least as Batista gets away to slug Khali down again. Khali staggers away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know what they were going for with this show but it was one of the weakest shows they have done in a long time. This was a bunch of low level stars having matches that didn’t have many interesting stories. There were a few minor things going on, but this was a totally skippable show, which isn’t a good way to get me to care about what is coming this weekend.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – January 28, 2022: That Last Push

Smackdown
Date: January 28, 2022
Location: T-Mobile Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means it is probably time for the fabled face to face showdown. In this case, that likely means Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins, who just don’t have that much history together. Other than that, we are likely going to get the final push towards tomorrow night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Charlotte to get things going. She promises to do what Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs will never do: bring a championship to Kansas City! Charlotte promises to win the Royal Rumble on Saturday, where there will be returns and betrayals. There are going to be people fighting and clawing to go to Wrestlemania. Cue Shayna Baszler to interrupt, saying that this is her language. Baszler is going to win, but here is Aliyah to brag about her world record. She is feeling confident, but here is Natalya to interrupt, calling Aliyah delusional and lucky.

Now it’s Shotzi coming in to say she might be able to sneak in and steal the win. Charlotte doesn’t want to hear about this but here is Sasha Banks interrupt. Banks slaps Charlotte in the face and the brawl is on, with Charlotte and Banks being the only two left standing. Banks tosses Charlotte and stands tall, because of course it winds up being two of the Horsewomen.

Ridge Holland is glad to be back and Sheamus knows Holland is just like him. Sheamus even gives Holland his old face guard.

Sheamus/Ridge Holland vs. Cesaro/Ricochet

Sheamus headlocks Cesaro down to start but gets broken up in a hurry. Cesaro sends him outside for a breather but Sheamus walks into a hard clothesline back inside. There’s a double stomp to the ribs and it’s off to Ricochet to work on the arm. Holland comes in and gets knocked all of the place, including a springboard dropkick to the floor. A big flip dive barely connects with Holland (who seemed to be too far off) and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting the Irish Curse on Ricochet and Holland slamming him down. A nasty over the shoulder backbreaker has Ricochet in trouble until he fights out, setting up a springboard moonsault. The double tag brings in Cesaro to beat on Sheamus, including the running uppercut against the barricade on the floor. Back in and Cesaro flips out of an Irish Curse and grabs a small package for two. Ricochet springboards in to dropkick Holland down, allowing Cesaro to hit that modified Angle Slam for two. Holland is back in though and it’s a mask shot to Cesaro. Northern Grit finishes Cesaro at 10:41.

Rating: C+. Well, it was nice to see Ricochet not take a pin for a change and Holland gets a win to move him a bit forward. You can only get him so far with Sheamus getting so many of the falls so this is a nice little boost for Holland. Pretty good match here, with Ricochet getting in his impressive looking high flying, which is almost always the case.

Rumble By The Numbers video.

Naomi vs. Sonya Deville

In the back Sonya tries to influence the referee, who says he’ll be calling this down the line. Feeling out process to start until Sonya knocks her into the ropes for a forearm to the jaw. Sonya hammers away on the mat but Naomi is back with a dropkick hard to the face. That’s broken up as Sonya pulls her to the floor and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street onto the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sonya hitting a spinebuster out of the corner for two, earning the referee a stern lecture. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Naomi is back up with some kicks to the face. A bulldog into the middle buckle sets up a high crossbody (onto Sonya’s face) for two but another one is countered into a shove into the corner. Something like a suplex into a Rock Bottom (basically Matt Morgan’s old Hellevator) gets two on Naomi but she’s back with a Bubba Bomb. The Rear View into the split legged moonsault finishes Deville at 11:39.

Rating: C. It was a good enough match, though I’m not sure if it was quite the huge moment that commentary was selling it as being. Deville is pretty awesome as the evil boss, though I’m not sure where this leaves her going forward. At the same time, is Naomi beating a woman who has barely wrestled in about a year and a half all that impressive? That being said, Naomi getting a win of some kind is a great thing to see after all this time.

Post match Naomi is very happy with her win and promises to win the Rumble. Deville comes back out with the jacket on and enters the match as well.

The Usos don’t like the Viking Raiders, who threaten them with hatchets.

Here is Sami Zayn, who has made some adjustments to In-Zayn. Now it is a talk show (er, live podcast), with Jinder Mahal and Shanky as the first guests. First though, Sami wants to talk about Johnny Knoxville, even though Mahal and Shanky are ready to face Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs. Zayn keeps going about Knoxville and Jackass, which Mahal says are huge in India. Cue Rick Boogs with his guitar to interrupt, with Shinsuke Nakamura coming in to kick Sami in the head.

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs vs. Shanky/Jinder Mahal

Joined in progress with Shanky beating on Boogs, who fights up and hits a rather impressive delayed suplex. Back up and Boogs shrugs off some shots in the corner, meaning the comeback is on. Some running shoulders don’t put Shanky down so it’s a running ax handle to finally take him down. The Boogs Cruise finishes Shanky at 2:59.

Kofi Kingston is glad to have Big E. back and they are ready to win the Royal Rumble, because if one of them wins, all of them win.

Madcap Moss/Happy Corbin vs. New Day

Before the match, we get a look at Moss and Corbin injuring Drew McIntyre, which they find rather amusing. Big E. runs Moss over to start and it’s a jumping (over Big E.) backsplash to give Kofi two. Corbin comes in for a running corner clothesline but gets sent outside. That means Kofi can try a dive, only to get pulled out of the air for a rather hard posting as we take a break.

Back with Kofi sliding between Corbin’s legs for the tag off to Big E. Suplexes abound until it’s already back to Kingston, who gets caught in Deep Six. Kofi is able to get back over to the corner though and the hot tag brings in Big E. With Corbin knocked down, the Midnight Hour finishes Moss at 7:02.

Rating: C+. There is always something fun about watching New Day team up and they made it work here again. What matters is that they know how to work well together and they shut up Moss and Corbin for one night. Big E. might be a dark horse for the Royal Rumble and both of them looked good in their warmup here.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins for their big showdown. Reigns talks about dishonoring the family, but Rollins points out that Reigns losing to Brock Lesnar must have been a big disappointment. Reigns laughs off talking about the past, but Rollins brings up some of their moments, including Reigns’ thirty day suspension. Finally he gets to splitting up the Shield, which seems to get to Reigns. Rollins says Reigns has done everything, except beat him one on one.

Reigns doesn’t like what Rollins did, and he has moved on, but he will always hate Rollins for what he did to the Shield. This sends Rollins into a rant about how everyone in the family is a joke and tomorrow, it all goes up in smoke. That gets Reigns fired up and he shoves Rollins, only to miss the Superman Punch to end the show. The story was already set and this was just the final showdown before the fight.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was a bit more about the Royal Rumbles themselves and that is a smart way to go. The rest of the card is set so why bother focusing on the rest all that much? I want to see what they have going on in the matches and now we should have a great start to the Road to Wrestlemania. The wrestling was just ok for the most part, but that was not the focal point this week, which is ok with such a big night coming.

Results
Sheamus/Ridge Holland b. Cesaro/Ricochet – Northern Grit to Cesaro
Shinsuke Nakamura/Rock Boogs b. Shanky/Jinder Mahal – Boogs Cruise to Shanky
Naomi b. Sonya Deville – Split legged moonsault
New Day b. Madcap Moss/Happy Corbin – Midnight Hour to Moss

 

 

 

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Smackdown – January 21, 2022: Try Something Else

Smackdown
Date: January 21, 2022
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We have less than two weeks to go before the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to finalize everything else for the show. That can take some effort and hopefully we will be seeing some of it tonight. Odds are a lot of the focus is going to be on Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s showdown between Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, with Rollins having to bail from the Usos.

Here are the Usos to get things going. They are here to acknowledge Roman Reigns, who is now the longest reigning Universal Champion in history. This brings out Reigns, who takes his time getting to the ring. Reigns holds out his hand for Jimmy, who puts the microphone in his hand. After telling Nashville to acknowledge him, we get a highlight package on Reigns’ title reign, including his major title defenses and a count of his days as champion.

Before Reigns can say anything, here is Seth Rollins to interrupt (McAfee: “You son of a b****.”). Rollins says that was a nice video, but now it’s time to end the show. Reigns had to send his cousins to Raw to attack him but all Reigns had to do was give him a call because he has Rollins’ number. Instead, we need to celebrate the Usos, because they hold up Reigns’ title, “just like me and Mox did in the Shield.” Reigns: “Did John Cena write that promo for you?”

Reigns says their match will be one on one, but Rollins wants to beat the Usos tonight to guarantee that they will be gone. Jey points out that Rollins doesn’t have a partner because no one likes him….but here is Kevin Owens to take the spot. Reigns wants to raise the stakes: if Rollins and Owens lose, the Rumble title match is off and Reigns is going on vacation until Wrestlemania. Rollins says he’s on.

Here are Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin to brag about their recent success, along with saying Kofi Kingston has no friends.

Madcap Moss vs. Kofi Kingston

Happy Corbin is here too….so Kofi brings out Big E. to even things up. Moss shoulders Kingston down to start but he comes back with a middle rope spinning dropkick. Kingston gets sent outside, where he jumps off the steps to take Moss down again. Big E. takes out Corbin and we go to a break. Back with Moss hitting a spinebuster but missing a charge into the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gives Kingston two as Big E. continues to look on stoically. Moss plants him again for two more but it’s Trouble in Paradise to give Kofi the pin at 7:42.

Rating: C. I can support anything that involves Moss getting kicked in the face and at least his roll slows down a bit. Moss is someone that WWE seems to want to push at least a little bit, but he isn’t someone who needs to be dominating every match. Kingston slowing him down a big is a good thing, though I could go for less Moss and Corbin in general.

Post match Corbin, who is holding his arm, gets up to stare at Big E., who gives Moss the Big Ending.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

Rematch from last week where Aliyah won in three seconds. Summer Rae, billed as a legend and now with red hair, is watching from the front row. Aliyah rolls her up for two to start but gets suplexed for her efforts. Back up and Aliyah is sent to the apron, where she comes back with a forearm. Natalya blasts her with the discus lariat for two, followed by the over the shoulder backbreaker. With that broken up, Natalya stomps away in the corner until it’s a DQ at 2:10.

Post match the beating stays on until Xia Li remembers that she still works here and comes out for the save.

Commentary hypes up Wrestlemania, with McAfee listing off about two dozen ways to describe how great it is, even busting out a dictionary.

Los Lotharios vs. Viking Raiders

Erik slams Humberto to start and then slams Ivar onto him to make it worse. Angel comes in off a blind tag though and it’s Erik getting jumped from behind. That means Angel can TAKE OFF HIS PANTS and ti’s a double basement dropkick. The standing moonsault misses though and the hot tag brings in Ivar to clean house. Everything breaks down and Erik hits a powerbomb/World’s Strongest Slam at the same time. The Viking Experience finishes Humberto at 2:23.

We recap Naomi threatening Sonya Deville last week, causing Adam Pearce to give Naomi another Championship Contender’s match this week.

Naomi vs. Charlotte

Non-title but a Champion’s Contender’s match, which Cole describes as an opportunity at an opportunity. Hold on though because here is Sonya Deville to be referee. Charlotte uses the distraction to forearm Naomi into the corner so the stomping can ensue. The Figure Four necklock has Naomi in trouble but she fights up for a springboard kick to the face. Charlotte is fine enough to grab a Boston crab, which doesn’t go very far.

Instead Charlotte tries the Figure Four but gets kicked off into Sonya. The Rear View connects but Sonya stays on the floor instead counting. Charlotte goes after the leg and puts on the Figure Four, drawing the bell for the submission at 2:24, before she even completes the hold. McAfee: “What in the Bret Hart is going on?” I’d call it a story that has long since been made clear but we’re still hammering it in because WWE has a problem with getting to the point.

Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens are ready for the main event, with Owens saying it’s time to take out the Usos so they can’t screw Rollins over again. Rollins says the risk is worth the reward, because he beats Reigns every time.

Here is Sami Zayn for the latest episode of In-Zayn, which will be looking at self defense. Johnny Knoxville once got famous by looking at a bunch of these weapons, and that is what Sami is going to do again here. We’ll start with a stun gun designed to stop large animals, including a rhinoceros. Sami shoots himself in the leg but doesn’t go off his feet. We’ll crank it up to level two, with this one going into his heart.

That one takes him off his feet, but here is Johnny Knoxville to interrupt. He doesn’t think much of Sami mocking his career, and points out that Sami didn’t turn the stun gun on. Knoxville fixes that for him and shocks Zayn down, complete with Mountie shock stick sound effects. Sami can’t stand up so Knoxville tosses him over the top.

Eric Bischoff is in Adam Pearce’s office when Sonya Deville comes in. Pearce isn’t happy with what she has been doing, so he is going to recommend she face Naomi next week, one on one.

Video on the new WWE 2K game.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ridge Holland is back and in Sheamus’ corner. Sheamus knees him down to start and grabs a chinlock, with Ricochet jawbreaking his way to freedom. The forearms to the chest put Ricochet down again, as Cole says the only title Sheamus has won everything but the Intercontinental Title. Or the 24/7 Title. Or the Universal Title. Ricochet knocks him to the floor but his suicide dive is kneed out of the air. Back in and the Brogue Kick finishes Ricochet at 3:18.

Rating: C-. Remember last week when these two had a nice match that got some time? This was almost nothing like that as Ricochet got squashed while getting in very little offense. Sheamus winning a midcard match is fine, but I’m really not sure why they needed to run this back when Sheamus beat him soundly enough last week.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura run into Jeff Jarrett, with Boogs knocking how to spell his name. Jeff likes Boogs’ guitar playing but asks if Boogs can spell his name. Boogs looks to have cut his hair and looks quite a bit like Robert/Rick Rude.

Usos vs. Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins

Non-title but if the Rollins/Owens win, the Usos are barred from the Royal Rumble title match. If the Usos won, the title match is off. Rollins rolls Jimmy up for two to start and Jimmy bails to the floor, where he complains of a pull of his tights. Back in and the Usos stomp Rollins down in the corner. Rollins fights up and it’s Jimmy being taken into the other corner for some alternating stomps of his own. A Jey distraction lets Jimmy crotch Rollins though and the stomping in the corner is on again.

That one doesn’t last long either as Rollins is back up with the tag to Owens so house can be cleaned. The Cannonball looks to set up the Swanton but Jey gets the knees up. Owens is sent outside and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Owens still in trouble but managing an enziguri for a breather. The tag brings in Rollins to clean house, including a suicide dive onto both Usos.

The springboard knee to the face gets two on Jey so Rollins loads up the Buckle Bomb. That’s broken up though and the Alley Us gives Jimmy two. Everything breaks down and Owens gets caught on top, only to hit the spinning fisherman’s superplex for two. It’s back to Rollins to strike away on both Usos until a superkick takes him down. The Stunner hits Jey and Rollins superkicks Jimmy. A forearm to the back of the head hits Jimmy and the Stomp connects but here is Roman Reigns to lay Rollins out for the DQ at 15:03.

Rating: B. I’m guessing the idea is that Reigns is so confident that he can beat Rollins on his own that he doesn’t care if the Usos are there or not, but it doesn’t exactly make him look smart. It can be made better if they explain that next week, though commentary saying something about it this week might have helped a bit. It also doesn’t help that this felt like a last second way out of the Usos losing because time was up. I’ll take the lack of a pin, but explain your story a bit better than that.

Reigns storms off and Rollins smiles to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was good but this felt like a good bit of placeholder matches which didn’t really do much for the Royal Rumble. Ricochet and Naomi lose again and we continue the epic Natalya vs. Aliyah feud. The important part of the Royal Rumble is set, though it would have been nice to build up some other participants instead of focusing on stuff like Moss and Sonya Deville. Pretty much a throwaway show here and not their best effort.

Results
Kofi Kingston b. Madcap Moss – Trouble in Paradise
Aliyah b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya attacked her in the corner
Viking Raiders b. Los Lotharios – Viking Raiders to Humberto
Charlotte b. Naomi – Figure Four
Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick
Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens b. Usos via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

 

 

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Smackdown – August 17, 2007: The Downhill Slide

Smackdown
Date: August 17, 2007
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

The reign of the Great Khali continues as we are nine days away from Summerslam. I’m curious to see where they are going with the rest of the card, but Khali has already massacred Batista with the Claw. With the main event set, we could use some build for a few more of the matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is MVP for the first episode of his VIP Lounge talk show. MVP talks about being better than you and challenging Matt Hardy to face him in a boxing match at Madison Square Garden on Saturday Night’s Main Event. However, MVP has to back out due to his heart condition, but he has a replacement: the only four time World Heavyweight Champion, Evander Holyfield.

This brings out Matt Hardy as the show’s first guest, with Matt talking about how he has beaten MVP in arm wrestling and a wrestling match, but now MVP is running again. MVP again brings up his heart condition but Matt says it’s the lack of a heart. Matt is fine with fighting Holyfield, but MVP has a challenge for him tonight.

That would be the Masterlock Challenge, with Chris Masters and a referee coming out. Before we get started, Matt punches Masters in the face but the hold is finally put on. MVP does commentary as Matt starts blacking out and then gets in the ring to kick Matt down to cut off the comeback. The villains go to leave but come back in for the Playmaker and trash talk to Matt.

We recap Vince McMahon finding out that he has an illegitimate child on the roster.

Vince is here, in a peach colored jacket, with Coach, who has been put in charge of checking the roster to find out who Vince’s child might be. The ECW roster has been checked off the list, save for Big Daddy V. Vince thinks it’s a possibility, but wants everyone here tonight checked too.

Jesse and Festus with they could be Vince’s son. Well Jesse does, while Festus (who Jesse thinks looks like Vince) stares a lot.

Deuce N Domino vs. Major Brothers

Non-title. Domino shrugs off a wristlock to start so it’s off to Brian for some more success on the arm. There’s a double flapjack to Domino but it’s quickly off to Deuce to take over on Brett. The chinlock with a knee in the back makes it worse, setting up Domino’s neckbreaker for two. A suplex finally gets Brett out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Brian to clean house. Brian hits a spinebuster for two but misses a high crossbody. Deuce cracks him in the mouth for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure if there is a tag team division at the moment but it’s nice to see another team getting the chance to crack into the title picture. Deuce N Domino have no one to fight for the belts at the moment so why not see what the Majors can do in the spot? It’s not like there is anyone else at the moment so work with what you have.

Vince McMahon and Coach are in Teddy Long’s office to offer best wishes on Teddy and Kristal’s wedding. Great Khali and Runjin Singh come in to yell about having to face Kane tonight. Teddy says get over it but Vince isn’t sure about Khali’s parentage. He seems to like the idea though and did have that one time in India.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

We recap Kane and Finlay attacking each other last week.

Finlay vs. Jamie Noble

Finlay powers him into the corner to start and then does it again, only to have Noble slug away. Noble manages to knock him outside but Finlay is right back in to work on the leg. A slam sends Noble’s leg into the ropes and the half crab goes on. An Indian Deathlock makes it worse….and here is Kane to go after Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here but it was good while it lasted. Noble was little more than a comedy guy at the moment but he was able to have a good match with just about anyone. That being said, this was all about setting up Finlay vs. Kane, likely for Summerslam, and that should be a good fight.

Post match the brawl is on but here is Hornswoggle to shove Noble into Kane’s bad ribs. Kane chokeslams Noble and Finlay escapes.

Rey Mysterio is coming back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore

Chavo still has the Rey Mysterio mask from last week. Moore gets taken down to start and charges into an elbow in the corner. A running headscissors sends Chavo outside but he is ready for the dive, instead suplexing Moore into the post. Back in and a stretch muffler keeps Moore in trouble but he pops out and is fine enough to hit a Whisper in the Wind. The Gory Bomb is countered into a sunset flip for two, only to have Chavo come back with a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I don’t know what Shannon was going for here but Chavo worked on the knee for a bit and Moore hopped up to hit a big flip off the top. I can forgive a bit of no selling but what’s the point of Chavo posting the leg and then working on it if that’s the reaction he is going to get? Not a good match, and that’s because of Moore in this case.

Post match Chavo puts the mask on Moore and gives him a frog splash to the knee.

Here is Batista for a chat. He admits that he is a little grouchy but he has had all week to stew about what happened. Last week, Great Khali crushed Ric Flair’s skull and treated him like a piece of dirt. That freak wrapped those hands around his head like a vice grip and that has never happened to Batista before. Right here and right now, he is promising himself and Flair that….and never mind as here is Khali on screen to interrupt.

Khali demonstrates what is coming for Batista at Summerslam by popping a basketball. Batista goes on a rant about how basketballs don’t hold grudges, which makes it sound like he is feuding with the ball. A ticked off Batista is a good thing but I’m not sure how well the title match is going to go.

Vince McMahon and Coach keep going over the idea of Vince being Khali’s dad, but Coach thinks Batista might have gotten his great physique from McMahon too. Vince seems to improve….and here is Big Dick Johnson dressed as a baby for some dancing. With Vince turning his back, Coach starts dancing too because he’s a goof at heart.

Mark Henry vs. Greg Cardona

Cardona goes for a waistlock to start and gets tossed down in a hurry. Henry throws him to the floor with no trouble and then stands on his head back inside. A backbreaker sets up a World’s Strongest Slam and a bearhug to give Henry the squash win. Cardona is better known as Trent Beretta, but I wonder if he was borrowing the future Zack Ryder’s real last name.

Post match Henry goes on a rant about Undertaker’s druid coming out last week and suggesting that Undertaker was coming back. We see another clip of Henry wrecking Undertaker and, just like last week, the feed is hacked to hint that Undertaker is coming back at Unforgiven. Then the gong goes off and there is a small pile of sand in the aisle. Henry picks it up, lets it fall through his fingers, and that’s it.

Torrie Wilson and Michelle McCool are going to be the bridesmaids in the wedding. Victoria comes in and is really glad that she’ll be one too, but that isn’t happening. Victoria slaps Michelle, who slaps Kenny Dykstra instead. Teddy Long makes the match for tonight.

Jimmy Wang Yang and Funaki come up to Vince McMahon to suggest they are his son. Vince says he wasn’t in Japan long, but here is Kane to laugh and call Vince dad.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Kenny Dykstra is here too. Victoria yells at her to start and gets thrown to the floor for her efforts. Back in and Victoria takes her down without much trouble and rips at Michelle’s face. The top wristlock keeps Michelle in trouble as commentary talks about a bunch of celebrities weddings. Michelle comes back with some armdrags and kicks Victoria down, setting up a middle rope clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D+. The division continues to be in a weird place as they have these random setups for a match every week and then get about five minutes at most. You can only get so far on something like that and I think we’re at that point now. I’m not sure what they can do without more wrestlers or something to fight over, but that needs to be figured out.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon and Coach are about to leave but here is Howard Finkel of all people to suggest he might be the son. Vince shoves him away.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Non-title, Runjin Singh is here with Khali and Kane has bad ribs. Khali goes after the ribs to start but gets knocked outside where Kane can hit an uppercut. Back in and Khali knocks him out of the air, allowing him to hammer on the ribs again. We hit a rib claw, but since that’s just putting a hand on his ribs, Kane is able to fight up and pound away in the corner. The chokeslam is countered with the Claw though and Kane finally goes down for the pin.

Rating: D. I know he can only do so much, but Khali rubbing the side of Kane’s stomach for a good chunk of the match is not exactly thrilling television. The Claw vs. choke deal at the end was just about the only thing they needed to do here but it was a rough way to get there. Khali is showing how limited he is here and that is making it hard to watch.

Post match here is Finlay to go after Kane again but Batista runs in to go after Khali. Finlay gets speared down again but Khali head vices Batista out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were good and bad parts here, with Vince getting to interact with a bunch of people and that is always going to work. The rest of the show was up and down at best, with some of the matches being little better than dreadful. The good thing is that Summerslam is mostly set, but the idea of Batista vs. Khali in a big match has the potential to be a train wreck. Smackdown has been trending down since Khali won the title and that is making this show rougher every week.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – January 14, 2022: Guest Star, Flashbacks And Tomfoolery

Smackdown
Date: January 14, 2022
Location: CHI Health Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are just over two weeks away from the royal Rumble and the big match on this side is Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Raw’s Seth Rollins. That is likely going to mean Brock Lesnar will be getting involved and I’m curious to see where that is going to go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar arguing over Paul Heyman, leading to Reigns dropping Lesnar with a Superman Punch. Then Seth Rollins was announced as the opponent in a bit of a weird pick.

Here are the Usos for a chat. They talk about how the only team to ever give them a real fight is the New Day, but they beat them again last week. Instead of helping Roman Reigns against Seth Rollins, we need to have a four way to consider the #1 contendership. Jimmy even handles the entrances, with a special/not so serious voice.

Los Lotharios vs. Viking Raiders vs. Cesaro/Mansoor vs. Jinder Mahal/Shanky

One fall to a finish and the Usos throw in some brief instructions, including remember that they’re the ones. The Usos fire off some superkicks but get sent to the floor so the brawl can be on. We take a break before the bell and come back joined in progress with Humberto diving into an atomic drop from Mansoor.

Cesaro comes in but Erik tags himself in to kick away at Shanky. Mansoor and Cesaro head outside for some reason but come back up to see Jinder beating on Erik in the corner. Erik fights over and brings in Ivar, who is driven into Shanky’s face in the corner. Ivar gets caught on top though and Cesaro/Mahal (weird combination) load up a double superplex. That takes too long though and Erik makes it a Tower of Doom as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro getting the hot tag to clean house, including hammering away on Humberto. Ivar tags himself back in so Cesaro takes him down for the start of a swing. Mahal breaks that up with a Khallas and it’s time for the parade of people hitting each other. Erik gets double superkicked and Los Lotharios dive onto Cesaro and Mansoor. Back in and Ivar cleans house, setting up the Viking Experience to finish Angel at 9:31.

Rating: C+. They kept this one fast enough and had everyone getting in there as fast as they could. The Raiders are the only team on Smackdown that feels like they could be a threat to the Usos so this was the best way they could have gone. If nothing else, it is almost interesting to see who they randomly throw Cesaro with on a given week, as the nothing teams just keep coming.

Post match the Usos get on the announcers’ table and shout at the Raiders, who can’t raid Samoa.

Naomi comes in to see Sonya Deville and wants to know why Deville is holding her back. Deville says when the jacket is on, she is Naomi’s boss and she doesn’t like Naomi’s attitude. Now Naomi needs to get out of here before she loses her Royal Rumble match. This is every interaction these two have had for months now. Naomi leaves so Adam Pearce comes in to talk about how cold Sonya has the temperature in here. Oh I have a bad feeling about where this is going.

We look at some of the history between Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, mainly looking at the original Shield run.

Here is Sami Zayn to talk about how the conspiracy against him is finally going to end, but now there is a new cast member in the conspiracy: Johnny Knoxville. We see Knoxville throwing him over the top last week, with Sami saying he is going to show the world that no one can is better at being a jackass than him. After realizing that might not be the best wording, it’s time for the debut of his own stunt show: InZayn!

There is a wooden ramp set up but Sami runs to the back, only to come out in a shopping cart with two guys pushing him. He is going to use that ramp to jump the ring….but it does look kind of far. It’s so far that he changes his mind at the last second. Zayn gets in the ring but here is Rick Boogs for a distraction. Shinsuke Nakamura comes in for Kinshasa and Boogs gorilla pressed Zayn over the top and onto the crash pad.

Aliyah is ready for her singles debut and hopes she doesn’t embarrass herself. Natalya comes in to say there is no shame in embarrassing yourself against her because she has three Guinness World Records. Natalya even has the book, which Aliyah didn’t know was still a thing. The glare sends Aliyah to the ring.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

After Aliyah makes her entrance, Natalya is still in the back to talk about her records: most matches by a woman in WWE history, most pay per view matches in WWE history and most wins by a woman in WWE history. Tonight, she is going to set the record for fastest win in WWE history, breaking the mark of 3.8 seconds. Natalya stomps her down in the corner and unloads before the bell. The referee says she can’t do this but Aliyah says she can….but there is no match anyway. Actually scratch that as the bell rings and Aliyah rolls her up for the pin at 3 seconds. Why yes, that is a new WWE record for a fastest pin at 3.1 seconds.

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville think it is getting hot in their office but the thermostat seems to be broken.

More Reigns vs. Rollins history, this time looking at Rollins turning on the Shield.

Michael Cole brings out Lita (looking rather orange) for the first time on Smackdown in nearly 20 years. Lita is glad to be home and is proud of her career. She never got to be in the Royal Rumble in her day though and now she is going to win the match and headline Wrestlemania. Cue Charlotte to interrupt, saying she will handle this interview. Charlotte says this run that Lita is on will be over, with the Wrestlemania dreams being over.

Lita has heard about Charlotte and doesn’t get the flashback Friday Tonya Harding thing. She doesn’t get how Charlotte doesn’t tip over with that giant head. The fans chant GIANT HEAD but Charlotte says she can’t hear it. Charlotte talks about beating Trish Stratus at Summerslam 2019, sending her back into retirement. Maybe Charlotte can do that to Lita too, which causes things to get physical. Lita leaves her laying with a Twist of Fate.

We look at Ricochet breaking Ridge Holland’s nose at Day One.

Sheamus is ready to get some revenge for Holland’s sake.

Ricochet vs. Sheamus

Ricochet headlock takeovers him to start but Sheamus fights up and hits a hard shoulder. Back up and Ricochet knocks him to the floor with a running shoulder of his own. Sheamus heads around the ring and sweeps the leg to drop Ricochet onto the apron. A catapult sends Ricochet face first into the bottom of the ring as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting up from a double arm crank and striking away. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent to the apron, where Ricochet gets him tied up in the ropes. A springboard moonsault hits Sheamus’ back for two but the shooting star misses. Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and gets rather annoyed. The ten forearms to the chest rock Ricochet so Sheamus goes up, only to get sent face first into the post. A springboard sunset bomb gives Ricochet two and a regular sunset flip gets the same. Then the Brogue Kick knocks Ricochet silly for the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C+. This was getting good near the end and then finished pretty fast. I tried not to convince myself to believe that Ricochet had a chance but he managed to make it work again. He’s so easy to turn into an underdog but for some reason he is never allowed to win anything and it gets a little tiring.

We look back at Aliyah’s record setting win, which is an official record.

Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are still complaining about the heat so Pearce goes to see maintenance. Sonya takes the jacket off so here’s Naomi to say it’s time for a fight. Pearce comes back in to say not so fast and Sonya puts the jacket back on. To calm things down, Pearce makes Naomi vs. Charlotte again for next week.

We look at Seth Rollins cashing in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania XXXI.

Kofi Kingston vs. Madcap Moss

Before the match, Kingston reads a proclamation that King Woods is injured and out of the Royal Rumble, but Kingston will be taking his place. Cue Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss to say Corbin will be in the Rumble, which makes them as happy as they have been since they injured Drew McIntyre. We see a clip of the attack on McIntyre, before Moss makes a joke about Kingston being scared of him. Kofi laughs so hysterically that he falls to the mat before knocking Moss to the floor. The big dive connects on Corbin and Moss as we take an early break.

Back with Kingston fighting out of a chinlock but getting planted with a powerslam. Kofi fires off some clotheslines and kicks Moss in the face in the corner. Moss rolls through a high crossbody though, only to have Kofi load up the SOS. That’s countered with a rake to the face though and the Punchline finishes Kingston at 5:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was a short way to build Moss up, because the world needs more Moss.

Here are Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns for their face to face showdown. Reigns tells Omaha to acknowledge him but Rollins throws out the Shield fist. Reigns says that’s beneath him but Rollins brings up that Reigns has never beaten him in a title match. That makes Reigns laugh because while Rollins is still in the past, he is the best ever. Rollins says he was climbing the ladder while Reigns was on the bench in the Canadian Football League. Then Rollins turned on him in the Shield and Reigns STILL needed help getting to the top.

Rollins created him and he can destroy him, but Reigns says if he wanted to face a star, Rollins wouldn’t even be his pick out of his house. He would have faced Rollins’ wife, so here are the Usos to chase Rollins off. Rollins says he’ll destroy Reigns to end the show. There were some good lines here but I don’t think we need much to hype up a Rollins vs. Reigns title match.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling most of this one as it didn’t exactly seem like much happened. The Lita appearance was nice and they added a few people to the Rumble, but other than that it was kind of a show that came and went. Naomi vs. Sonya continues to just kind of sit there, and I’m almost scared to imagine them dragging that all the way to Wrestlemania. The good thing is they have most of the important stuff set for the pay per view, but another match or two might be a good idea. Not their best show here, as it felt like a bit of an off week.

Results
Viking Raiders b. Los Lotharios, Cesaro/Mansoor and Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Viking Experience to Humberto
Aliyah b. Natalya – Rollup
Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick
Madcap Moss b. Kofi Kingston – Punchline

 

 

 

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Smackdown – August 10, 2007: They Missed, Badly

Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main event is set, with Batista challenging Great Khali for the World Title. That may be a problem for Batista, as Khali debuted a Claw hold, which could cause quite the damage. The rest of the card could use some attention though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Domino

They’re starting fast this week and Deuce and Cherry are here with Domino. Batista knees him in the ribs as the smoke from Batista’s pyro is still filling the arena. A suplex gives Batista two but it’s too early for the Batista Bomb. Back up Cherry’s distraction does absolutely nothing as Batista takes Deuce N Domino out with ease. The spear into the Batista Bomb is good for the easy pin. On Domino.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s what it should have been. It would have been nice to not see a champion lose this way, but it isn’t like there are any other tag teams worth beating up around here. Batista didn’t break a sweat here and that made for an entertaining enough destruction.

Post match Deuce tries to jump Batista and gets wrecked as well. Great Khali pops up on screen to yell at Batista, who won’t be celebrating at Summerslam. We see a clip of Khali Clawing Ric Flair last week to knock him out.

Here is the returning Rey Mysterio, whose knee surgery must have been a success as he is about four inches taller now. Whoever it is seems to be a big Chavo Guerrero fan because he doesn’t know if Rey can beat Chavo at Summerslam. Or if he can even face Chavo, because Chavo is that amazing. He gets on his knees to beg Chavo to avoid that kind of a beating again but here is Eugene to interrupt.

Eugene vs. “Rey Mysterio”

The fans think Chavo sucks and it’s a headscissors to take Eugene down to start. The 619 misses and believe it or not, it’s Chavo under the mask. Eugene is so offended by the deception that he starts hammering away and hits a Gory Bomb, followed by Three Amigos. The frog splash takes too long though and Chavo moves, allowing him to hit his own for the pin.

Rating: D+. They didn’t bother trying to take this one too far as there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a match. It was also a match where the copying moves made sense, but Eugene is so far beyond meaning anything that it is hard to believe that he was kind of a big thing at one point. Chavo is on his way to the big showdown with Rey and that should work out well for both of them.

Kenny Dykstra kisses Victoria as she is getting her makeup done when Michelle McCool comes in to tell them to get a room. Violence is teased.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan

Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Bearhug finishes for Henry in about a minute.

Post match Henry says no one will mess with him because of this, sending us to a video of him attacking Undertaker. As the beating is on, we cut to an Undertaker vignette, with the word “Unforgiven” being heard. Back in the arena, a man in black walks away from the ring and his footprints are rather prominent.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Jimmy Wang Yang and Kenny Dykstra are here. Victoria jumps her to start and takes it to the floor. That means Yang has to dropkick Dykstra down as Torrie is scared. Back in and the Widow’s Peak finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match the beating stays on but Michelle McCool runs in for the save.

We recap Matt Hardy beating MVP in arm wrestling and regular wrestling last week.

Commentary tells us that thanks to the Wellness Policy, MVP found out that he had a heart condition and has had surgery, but will be back in a week.

MVP complains about how his heart was messed up last week but Matt Hardy cheated to beat him anyway. It would usually take someone a year to return but he’ll do it in a week because he is half man and half amazing.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay points a finger in his face to start and they take their time to start. A headlock and shoulder have Matt in early trouble so he grabs a headlock of his own. Commentary talks about Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child (ok fair enough) as Matt hits Finlay in the face for two. Hold on though as Finlay complains of an eye poke, which naturally is a way to sucker Matt in for some uppercuts.

Back up and Finlay charges into a boot in the corner but manages to send Matt hard to the floor. They fight over a ram into the apron so Matt gets posted as we take a break. We come back with Finlay staying on the arm that went into the post, including kicking away at the shoulder. The cranking begins on the arm but the referee is smart enough to see the feet in the ropes. Good of him for doing his job for once.

Back up and Matt hits an elbow to the face, only to get taken down into another armbar. The arm is slammed onto the apron before Finlay goes with the armbar again. Back up and Finlay forearms away in the corner but Matt slugs him down. The middle rope elbow to the back connects and the Side Effect gets two. Finlay fights back but here is Hornswoggle at ringside. Finlay brings him inside but Jamie Noble comes out to chase Hornswoggle off. Finlay goes to rescue Hornswoggle….and it’s a countout.

Rating: C+. This felt like they had set up a joke for seventeen minutes and then forgot the punchline. They set up everything with Hardy’s arm being banged up and then just let it end in the middle of his comeback? Instead of managing to beat Finlay with one arm, it was like they were saying “close enough, we’re done”. This had me really confused and disappointed, even though the rest of it was rather good.

In the back, Jamie Noble asks Kid Kash and Funaki where Hornswoggle is. Finlay comes in and grabs Noble, telling him to stay away from Hornswoggle. Noble says this is three on one….but Kane pops up behind them and beats up Finlay.

Kane vs. Sylvan

Sylvan rants in French until the fire cuts him off. Kane sends him flying into the corner and hammers away without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sylvan cuts off a charge in the corner. Kane hits a big boot though and the top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for the easy win.

Post match Finlay runs in and beats Kane down with the shillelagh.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero talk about Teddy’s wedding and gives him some Viagra as a wedding present.

Here is Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge to anyone in the crowd. A rather large fan is goaded into it, but says he has played football, wrestled…..and just got out of prison for manslaughter. With that, Masters picks another fan, who he easily beats. I’m still not sure why this is supposed to be interesting, especially after someone already broke the hold.

Batista tells Ric Flair to be careful against Great Khali, but Flair is mad over being rag dolled last week. He’s felt the Claw from other people before and now it is time for a Figure Four on Khali.

Ric Flair vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Flair chops away to start and is tossed to the ground for his efforts. The nerve hold goes on for a good while, followed by the big chop and a big boot. Flair manages a low blow and chops away, with Khali going down to a knee. Then Khali grabs the Claw to finish Flair without much trouble.

Rating: D. This was as good as Khali nerve holding Flair for about a minute and a half was going to be. The Claw is a fine way for someone with Khali’s hands to go, but you need something other than that. The problem is he can’t do much more and this was a bad example of how limited he really is.

Post match the Claw stays on so Batista runs in for the save. Khali Claws Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time Smackdown came up with such a bad show as this was rather awful. There was nothing on here that you would need to see and the best match, between Hardy and Finlay, has one of the more disappointing endings I have heard of in a long time. This didn’t make me want to see Summerslam and it was one of the weakest shows WWE has put on in a long time.

 

 

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Smackdown – January 7, 2022: Knock Knock

Smackdown
Date: January 7, 2022
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncastville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the first show of the year and that means we’re in for a special night with two World Champions in the house. Last Saturday, Brock Lesnar became the WWE Champion and tonight he is here to confront Roman Reigns, who was not around at Day One due to health issues. I think that’s going to make for a sufficient explosion so let’s get to it.

Here is Day One if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Paul Heyman aligning with Brock Lesnar on Raw, revealing that he got Lesnar into the WWE Title match at Day One.

Here is Roman Reigns for a chat. He was gone for a week and everything fell apart….but here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to interrupt. We get the big staredown and Heyman loads up the catchphrase but Lesnar gets in Reigns’ face to introduce himself. That means Lesnar does Heyman’s catchphrases and tells Reigns to acknowledge him.

Last Saturday, they both got what they wanted: Lesnar got the WWE Title and Reigns got out of the match. Now let’s give the people what they want and go title vs. title, champ vs. champ. Reigns says it’s a good idea but it isn’t his idea. This is his show so we’ll do it on his time. Besides, he doesn’t do business with people who do business with trash like Heyman.

That’s too far for Heyman, who says he got Reigns where he is now. Heyman protected him from Lesnar and loved him….but Lesnar cuts Heyman off as he is about to cry. Lesnar wants to know what Heyman is talking about, sending Heyman into a crying rant about how Reigns was all he had while Lesnar was gone. Lesnar: “Shut up Paul!” Reigns: “Don’t talk to him that way.” Lesnar: “I said shut up.” Reigns drops Lesnar with a Superman Punch and leaves as Heyman looks stunned. That’s an interesting twist.

Sami Zayn talks about how the conspiracy against him started over a year ago but now he has the chance to win his Intercontinental Title back. First up though, he has to deal with Rick Boogs, who is a gorilla with a guitar. Hold up though, as Sami walks over to see Johnny Knoxville, who is here to get in the Royal Rumble. Sami laughs it off and says he needs technical wrestling skills, but Knoxville says he has to send someone over the top rope.

Sami Zayn vs. Rick Boogs

Boogs doesn’t waste time in gorilla pressing Sami to start, sending him outside as we take a break. Back with Sami hammering away but getting caught in a bearhug. Boogs isn’t done as he powers him up into a suplex, gets kneed in the head to take him down to one knee, and then powers back up into the suplex (because that can be done). Sami bails to the floor and manages to catch Boogs with a boot to the face. Back in and Boogs small packages him for the fast pin at 6:33.

Rating: C. Boogs is about as scary of a power freak as you can get and it is cool to see what kind of things he can come up with week to week. Sami losing again isn’t the best sign, but there is a good chance that he winds up winning the Intercontinental Title anyway. This didn’t have much time to get very far, but Sami’s frustrations are always funny.

Post match Sami yells a lot and here is Johnny Knoxville to dump him out. Apparently that is enough to qualify Knoxville for the Royal Rumble.

New Day sounds British and promise to take the Tag Team Titles from the Usos in a street fight tonight.

Here is Charlotte to mock the ideas of new year’s resolutions. Those are the things that are designed to make people feel better but she doesn’t have to do that. The Royal Rumble is coming up and it is a chance for a lot of women to make their mark. Here are a lot of the people already in the match:

Rhea Ripley
Nikki Ash
Nikki Bella
Brie Bella
Shotzi
Natalya
Michelle McCool
Dana Brooke
Carmella
Queen Zelina
Mickie James
Tamina
Kelly Kelly
Aliyah
Summer Rae
Naomi
Shayna Baszler
Lita
Charlotte

Pat McAfee: “That’s Impact Knockouts Champion Mickie James!” As a bonus, there is a nineteenth entrant in the Royal Rumble: Charlotte herself! Cue Naomi to interrupt and challenge Charlotte to a title match right now. Charlotte doesn’t think so, meaning it’s a slap in the face and a toss to the floor (through the ropes).

Charlotte vs. Naomi

Non-title but a Championship Contenders match. Charlotte chops away to start and we’re quickly into the figure four neck lock, with Naomi’s face being driven into the mat. Naomi fights up and hits a bulldog into the middle buckle but Charlotte boots her off the top and out to the floor.

Back up and a Blockbuster off the barricade knocks Charlotte silly on the floor….but here is Sonya Deville to say that this match can’t be won by countout. Charlotte hits a chop block to take Naomi down and we take a break. Back with Naomi kicking Charlotte in the face, setting up a springboard spinning kick to the face for two. Charlotte shrugs it off and grabs the Figure Four so Naomi makes the rope….which has Sonya saying it’s No DQ.

Naomi is still down so Charlotte stomps away on the ropes, setting up the double jump moonsault for two. Back up and they hit stereo big boots but Naomi grabs a rollup for two more. Charlotte hits a backbreaker out of the corner for two of her own and breaks up the split legged moonsault. Natural Selection finishes Naomi at 13:10. Sonya: “And your loser: NAOMI!”

Rating: C. So they were going for the Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin deal here with Sonya and Naomi, and there is at least a feud set up for that to work. I’m not sure how effective it was and I do kind of want to see Naomi take Sonya apart, but I also could have gone without Charlotte getting another win. This couldn’t have been Shayna Baszler? Just to give her SOMETHING?

The Usos are ready for the New Day.

We recap the opening segment.

Adam Pearce has been told that he can pick Roman Reigns’ opponent for the Royal Rumble and has until the end of the night. He and Sonya Deville are off to bounce some names off each other.

Here is Happy Corbin for Happy Talk. Corbin talks about how with the Coronavirus running around, you have to watch your back. That includes Drew McIntyre, and we see a clip of Corbin attacking him at Day One. McIntyre is here tonight though….and it’s Madcap Moss, dressed as McIntyre (complete with neck brace, cane, and limp inflatable sword).

Moss, doing the Scottish accent, says if he could survive haggis, he could handle anything Corbin did. If they had a match though, Moss would have all kinds of problems. As for the injury, he is going to milk it for all it is worth so he can write poetry about the Loch Ness Monster. McAfee: “When is this over?” Moss reveals that he isn’t really Drew McIntyre and it’s time for a match.

Madcap Moss/Happy Corbin vs. Viking Raiders

Joined in progress with Erik headlocking Moss but it’s off to Corbin before that can get very far. Deep Six gets two on Erik and it’s time for the villains to take turns beating on him in the corner. Moss pounds away until the referee has to pull him away, allowing Erik to score with a hard knee to the face. Corbin pulls Ivar off the apron though and Moss hits his forward neckbreaker (the Punchline) for the pin at 3:29.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one, though I don’t think there was any need for it to go long either. Moss and Corbin have things going on while the Raiders are just there to take a loss every now and then. I would assume we’re heading for McIntyre vs. Corbin at either the Rumble (if McIntyre is healthy by then) or in Saudi Arabia in February at the latest, and either of those sound like a long way off.

Drew McIntyre will get an update on his neck injury on Monday.

Sheamus isn’t worried about McIntyre because he is more worried about Ridge Holland’s broke nose. To take his mind off of it, he is entering the Royal Rumble.

Adam Pearce tries to tell Roman Reigns his Royal Rumble opponent but Reigns says there is no one on this roster he can’t smash. Reigns has Pearce leave without telling him the opponent so he can watch his cousins’ match. It’s going to be Goldberg isn’t it?

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is challenging in a street fight and this is their last shot at the titles. Woods and Jey get things going (because we are tagging to start) but it’s quickly off to Kofi for the Trust Fall to the floor. We take a very early break and come back with all four fighting on the stage.

That doesn’t last long as Woods hits a tornado DDT for two on Jey back inside. Jey whips out some duct tape to tie Woods to the rope, leaving Kofi to hit a messed up SOS for two on Jimmy. Woods is freed in a hurry and they fight to the floor again. The Usos take Woods over the barricade and hit him in the face with the steps, only to get knocked down by a diving Kofi as we take another break.

Back again with New Day pulling out a helmet and knight armor, meaning Woods can shrug off a superkick to the face. The armor and helmet are kicked into the Usos’ faces with some Van Daminators and it’s time to get a table set up in the ring. That takes a bit too long though and it’s a double superkick to Kingston. With Woods on the floor, the 1D through the table finishes Kingston at 18:14.

Rating: B-. The armor/helmet stuff was amusing but I don’t know how many more times I can see these teams fight. They fought before the pay per view, they fought at the pay per view, and now they fought after the pay per view. Thank goodness they announced this as the final match between the teams (at least for now), but forgive me for being a bit skeptical about that one.

We cut to the back where someone knocks on Roman Reigns’ door (sounding like a certain famous theme song)….and it’s Seth Rollins. He laughs at Reigns, who looks annoyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a show where they started the build to the Rumble in a hurry, with most of the women’s field set, another name added to the men’s match, and a surprise main event being set up. The wrestling left a good bit to be desired, but they covered a lot of ground in the span of two hours. Sometimes that is the kind of show that you need and they made it work well here.

Results
Rick Boogs b. Sami Zayn – Small package
Charlotte b. Naomi – Natural Selection
Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss b. Viking Raiders – Punchline to Erik
Usos b. New Day – 1D through a table to Kingston

 

 

 

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