Smackdown
Date: January 9, 2018
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

Things are getting a little dicey around here as the battle of the bosses continues. The big story is Daniel Bryan making a handicap match for the Royal Rumble where AJ Styles will defend the Smackdown World Title against the combined forces of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. This seems to hint at a Bryan heel turn, which would seem to hint at WWE being really stupid. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Bryan making the handicap match. Again: if they’re trying to make Bryan a heel as we go into Philadelphia and ultimately New Orleans, they’re dumber than I thought they were.

Renee Young brings out Styles for an interview. AJ kind of regrets saying make it a handicap match but he’ll live with the consequences. He’s looking forward to the Rumble where he can hit them so hard and so fast that he’ll walk out as champion. AJ knows what he’s up against because they can tag in and out but this is the house that he built.

Cue Sami and Kevin with Owens getting right to the point: AJ has no chance of walking out with the title. Sami: “YEP!” Kevin promises to walk out as the first co-WWE Champions. This brings out Shane McMahon to say he’s confused about Bryan’s decision but he’ll support it. As for tonight though, we’ll have another handicap match with Owens and Zayn facing Styles, Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura. You can see the screwy finish coming but it’s a nice idea and makes sense with this story.

Shane and Bryan shake hands in the back.

Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott

Becky takes Ruby down to start but Morgan offers a leg trip. That just gets Riott knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Riott holding a bodyscissors and driving knees into the ribs. Becky comes back with some forearms but Ruby kicks her in the ribs again. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Ruby tap at 8:10.

Rating: C-. Just a nice win for Becky to get back in the swing of things. That makes sense, but why in the world did they have Riott lose here? Like, you have Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan RIGHT THERE and you pick the leader and the most important member of the team to take the loss? That’s the short sighted/lack of thinking that gets on fans’ nerves and seems like something that could be solved by simple common sense.

Earlier today, Sami Zayn surprised Becky Lynch when she was signing autographs to be her Mixed Match Challenge partner.

Bludgeon Brothers vs. Ascension

Breezango isn’t here due to having a match later against Rusev Day. An assisted sitout powerbomb ends Viktor at 34 seconds. I think they’re ready for the Usos already.

US Title Tournament First Round: Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley

The winner faces Bobby Roode, at ringside, in the second round. Rawley charges straight into a pair of knees in the corner but easily takes Ryder down to ram his face into the mat. Zack is right back up for some right hands in the corner, only to eat the running punch in the corner to give Mojo the win at 3:34

Rating: D-. This wasn’t the biggest shock and amazingly enough, the battle of the former Hype Bros isn’t very interesting. Rawley winning was the only logical conclusion here as Ryder continues his descent down the WWE ladder. There’s some potential for Rawley, though there’s no reason to believe he’s getting by Roode in the next round. Nothing match, as expected.

Jinder Mahal is ready to win the United States Champion to get 2018 off to a good start. Xavier Woods better know how to play Taps on his trombone.

Classic Raw clip: Austin and the zamboni.

Earlier today, Natalya was showcasing her selfie taking skills when Shinsuke Nakamura popped up. They’ll be Mixed Match Challenge partners.

Here are Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable to demand justice for not winning the Tag Team Titles last week. Chad asks the fans if they know what it takes to be a winner. They’ve given up everything to succeed but no one here in Birmingham would understand that. Shelton brings up the University of Alabama winning the National Championship last night but the people here had nothing to do with it. The University of Georgia was robbed because of a bad referee call, just like they were last week.

After the required ROLL TIDE chant, Shelton talks about the referee interfering last week when it wasn’t even his match. The other referee came in due to jealousy because he doesn’t know what it takes to be a champion. Chad says they lost to instant referee last week. Chad: “So generic referee #2, get out here right now.” Instead they get Daniel Bryan who says no, because the referee’s decision is final. AS IN THE RULING THAT WAS OVERTURNED???

Benjamin calls him out on that but Bryan just says they didn’t win because they pinned the wrong Uso. Chad asks if this is Dr. Phil and thinks Bryan is taking out his Shane frustrations on them. The ranting continues until Chad asks if they have to beat the Usos twice in one night. Bryan: “THAT’S IT!” There’s going to be a 2/3 falls match for the titles at the Rumble. Is the Rumble going to be another six hour show? There are two Rumbles (that’s two hours) and five more matches, one of which is 2/3 falls. That’s quite the lengthy night.

AJ and Orton talk strategy with Orton saying he wants the title. Nakamura comes in and gives the belt a Too Sweet. Nakamura: “Good talk.”

Rusev Day vs. Breezango

English and Rusev are both in the Rumble (the Rusev Rumble on Rusev Day that is). Fandango suplexes Aiden to start and brings in Breeze for a double kick to the head. We take an early break and come back with Breeze getting superkicked in the ribs but avoiding a Swanton. The hot tag brings in Fandango for some chops but Rusev comes in for the kicks to the chest. A spinwheel kick puts Fandango down and a kick to the head drops Breeze. The distraction lets Fandango roll Rusev up for the pin at 5:20. Not enough shown to rate but do we need more proof of the “get over when we tell you to” theory?

Shane tells Bryan that his matchmaking of late has been off the way and unfair. He asks if Bryan is ok but Bryan points out that Shane is one to talk about being crazy with his decisions, especially given his family history. Shane leaves without arguing that much. They’re really going to try to turn Bryan aren’t they?

Pay per view rundown. That’s looking like a long show.

AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

The threat of an RKO sends Owens bailing to the floor before coming back in for some right hands. It’s off to Sami vs. Nakamura as the announcers talk about the Freebird Rule for the potential of co-WWE Champions. A kick to the face sends Sami outside and an attempt at the Styles Clash sends the villains walking up the ramp.

Cue Shane, because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. The match is restarted (it never stopped) with no countouts. Back from a break with AJ fighting Owens off and hitting the fireman’s carry backbreaker. The hot tag brings in Orton for the snap powerslam on Zayn, followed by the hanging DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Owens chairs him in the ribs for the DQ at….oh of course Shane comes out to say restart it with No DQ.

AJ knocks Owens up the ramp and into the back with a chair, leaving Sami trapped. The chase is on but Sami can’t quite make it over the barricade. Orton loads up the steps and then drops Sami back first onto the announcers’ table. Kinshasa drops Zayn and the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: D+. What do you want me to say here? The good guys had a big advantage and used that advantage to win, including a pair of restarts in the process. This was everything you would have guessed the match would be and really didn’t deviate from that premise. There’s not much these guys can do when EVERYTHING in this story has been about Shane vs. Bryan, which at the moment can’t be an actual match. I’m still begging for the big swerve where it’s Shane as the heel, but that’s getting more and more unlikely with each passing week for reasons I don’t want to understand.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show that had so much illogical booking or instances of just going completely against whatever fans seemed to want. The big focus was on the Shane vs. Bryan feud, Ruby lost clean, Rusev took the pin in the tag match and Bryan’s “referee’s decisions are final, even when they’re overturned decisions” line actually brought pain to my head.

I have no idea what’s been up with the writing lately but between this and “Asuka can’t speak English”, I’m having a really hard time accepting that there’s any kind of quality control is going on in WWE as of late. It’s like they’re going out of their way to say stupid stuff and go completely against the logical stories they could be telling, especially with Shane vs. Bryan. If WWE really thinks that pushing Shane as the top face AGAIN is the right call, especially over Bryan, good for them on officially losing their minds.

This show felt like several cases of one dumb idea after another with very little that actually made me want to watch another week. It’s a rare instance of Raw being flat out better than Smackdown, which says a lot when Raw wasn’t all that good this week. The booking is going in a very questionable direction and the little things they’re choosing to do and say go in the face of anyone who has watched for more than a few weeks. Hopefully this is just a funk and they snap out of it, because this was really tough to sit through at times.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Disarm-Her

Bludgeon Brothers b. Ascension – Assisted sitout powerbomb to Viktor

Mojo Rawley b. Zack Ryder – Running punch

Breezango b. Rusev Day – Rollup to Rusev

AJ Styles/Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Kinshasa to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 7, 2003
Location: Skyreach Place, Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

Smackdown has some work to do to catch up with Raw, which announced an Elimination Chamber match for the upcoming Summerslam. Tonight Smackdown has a big match of its own though with Brock Lesnar vs. Vince McMahon in a cage with Kurt Angle as guest referee. Why that’s a big deal isn’t clear, but note that we’ll be having two McMahons in main events this week, meaning the ratings should be through the roof. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kurt Angle giving Brock a rematch for the title but being cut off by Vince. For some reason Vince agreed to face Brock in a cage tonight. You really can feel the shenanigans coming here and in this case that works best. Just because you can see the ending doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title despite Benoit asking for the title to be on the line. Eddie picks the leg to start and they hit the mat for a technical sequence as you might have expected from these two. The Canadian fans are VERY pro-Benoit (well duh) but an Eddie chant pops up as well because Eddie is just on another level at this point.

Benoit backdrops his way out of a wristlock and Eddie bails to the ropes before Benoit can grab a hold of his own. Instead some insanely loud chops have Eddie begging for time out but he’s still able to snapmare him down and take over again. A slingshot hilo and belly to back suplex give Eddie two and it’s off to an armbar.

Back up and Benoit grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (stealing both Eddie’s move and gimmick), followed by a very hard powerbomb. Cue Rhyno to break up the Swan Dive but Benoit avoids the frog splash. A dive takes Rhyno down, only to have Tajiri come in and take Eddie down for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Even with the lame ending, Eddie vs. Benoit in any form is worth seeing. They didn’t have very long here but they managed to get something out of it because they’re that popular. Having the Canadian fans cheer for Eddie shows you what kind of a roll he’s on at the moment and that’s an incredibly positive sign for Guerrero. It’s also a good sign that they were doing the technical stuff here, making the US Title feel more like the wrestlers’ title. Almost no title has an identity and this one having such a thing and doing it well so far hopefully is a sign of things to come.

They keep brawling but Sgt. Slaughter of all people (like Stephanie would lower herself to this) says we’re going to restart this as a tag match. Now I need to see Slaughter doing the Teddy Long dance.

Chris Benoit/Tajiri vs. Rhyno/Eddie Guerrero

Joined in progress with Benoit getting the Crossface on Rhyno and Eddie having to make a save. Eddie comes in legally with a hurricanrana but Tajiri makes a save this time around. A baseball slide dropkick takes Eddie’s knee out and now Tajiri can come in legally. The handspring elbow drops Rhyno as they’re working a very nice pace to start things off.

Tajiri goes after Eddie but gets run over by Rhyno. That just earns him a Tarantula but Eddie is there with a dropkick for his own save. Rhyno actually puts on a Sharpshooter, drawing Benoit in to protect Canada’s honor. He’s fine with Eddie’s half crab though, suggesting that he’s not much of a Lance Storm fan. Rhyno comes in for some forearms as Benoit’s save attempt goes nowhere.

Instead it’s Eddie getting backdropped to the floor and Tajiri makes the tag, albeit thanks to Rhyno knocking him into Benoit. With Benoit on the floor, Rhyno powerbombs Tajiri but gets misted (with the referee looking at them). Eddie didn’t see the tag and frog splashes the illegal Tajiri, only to get caught in the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: B-. It was certainly a creative ending and odds are this sets up a big title match, perhaps with all four fighting at the same time. As mentioned earlier, this is the kind of wrestling that makes the show a lot more interesting and I’d really like to see it happen a lot more often. Benoit and Eddie are the wrestlers so it’s a smart idea to throw in a striker like Tajiri and a power guy like Rhyno to really even things out.

Josh Matthews (looking as stupid as I’ve ever seen him with two necklaces and an earring) asks Kurt Angle about some rumors, but Kurt cuts him off. Kurt has been hearing rumors about Josh, scotch tape, two midgets and a picture of Justin Timberlake that still keeps him up nights. He’s heard the rumors about Brock, who he still considers a friend. A big stupid friend at times, but still a friend. They’re going to resolve their issues face to face though.

Zach Gowen vs. Nunzio

Matt Hardy, who puts ketchup on one fry at a time and is a better commentator than Michael Cole, is on commentary and brought Shannon Moore with him. Gowen takes him down to the mat to start but is easily powered into the corner. Nunzio grabs the leg and mocks his inability to sweep the other leg as Matt complains about having to share the stage with a sideshow freak. As cruel as he sounds, there’s really nothing wrong about what he says.

A quick leglock is broken up and Nunzio sends him outside. Gowen gets turned inside out with a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Matt: “Everybody knows that Matt Hardy’s career has more legs underneath it than Zach Gowen’s.”. Back up and Nunzio crotches himself and a middle rope moonsault hits him in the ropes. A leg lariat and a middle rope Fameasser both get the same. Gowen grabs a neckbreaker but has to elbow Shannon down, allowing Nunzio to hit a top rope dropkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. That’s on a bit of a sliding scale and that’s the problem: you have to adjust everything for Gowen and the matches are only going to be so good. He has to have a select group of opponents and his offense is almost all based around that one leg. It’s nothing special in the first place and when your entire character is based around your one trait, it’s not like you have much of a shelf life. Gowen is incredible impressive, but this isn’t going to work for very long.

Post match, Gowen takes another Twist of Fate.

Undertaker finds Sable sitting on Vince’s laugh and asks her to leave. He’s not happy with Vince sending A-Train after Stephanie so the little “oil hoochie” could get a win at Vengeance. If Undertaker was part of the family, he’d have already beaten the heck out of Vince. The boss is about to tell Undertaker what he can do with that opinion when Funaki comes running in to say Brock has been attacked. Angle and the FBI are near him and Vince gives Kurt a look without saying anything. You can feel the twist coming from here and it’s still working just fine.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Undertaker beat him at Vengeance in a match that hurt a lot of Cena’s credibility. Cena’s rap implies he wants to force sexual acts onto Undertaker. The big man wastes no time in sending him into the corner and the slow beating begins. He starts in on Cena’s shoulder as the fans think Cena sucks. A hard clothesline looks to set up Old School but Cena pulls him down, somehow knowing what to expect.

Cena starts in on the knee, only to get his arm pulled down again. A lifting wristlock keeps Undertaker in trouble as they must have a long time here. Now Old School connects and the slow paced beating heads outside. Totally one sided so far. Back in and Undertaker actually takes him all the way to the top for a superplex but Undertaker bangs up his own ribs.

Back from a break with Cena in control and pounding on the ribs. They had something here with Cena having such a basic offense but sticking with it because it was the most logical thing he had. Undertaker shrugs it off and posts Cena on the floor because he’s had enough of being on defense for now. In a good example of everything wrong with commentary, Cole keeps mentioning the bad ribs and Tazz yells at him for saying it over and over. Heaven forbid he tell a story or something.

The Throwback gives Cena two but a big boot and elbow give Undertaker the same. Cena’s spinebuster goes back to the ribs but Undertaker mounts him for some rights and lefts. The Last Ride is broken up and the ref is bumped. Now didn’t we all know something like that was coming? The chokeslam gets no cover and it’s A-Train coming in for a bicycle kick and a backbreaker. That’s only good for two on Undertaker so he tries the Tombstone, only to get reversed into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. They really didn’t need this much time, especially with the arm work going nowhere. Undertaker vs. A-Train isn’t going to be much to see and this seemed to be more about setting that up than helping Cena. That being said, it helped a lot to have Cena get the win off his own move instead of A-Train’s. Cena needed a win like this and you knew full well they weren’t giving Cena a clean pin, either here or at the pay per view. The match wasn’t very good because of the slow pace and the ending didn’t really help things.

Jamie Noble vs. Doug Basham

Shaniqua gives Doug a spank for inspiration and the announcers laugh the whole thing off. Jamie, apparently a face for getting to sleep with Torrie and Nidia (ok they’ve got something there), kicks Doug away but gets caught with some crossface shots to the head. A Vader Bomb elbow gives Doug two as Tazz goes on and on about what Shaniqua does with the Bashams.

The move that would become known as Wasteland gives Doug two and we hit the chinlock. Jamie fights up with a clothesline and dropkick for a near fall each. A top rope elbow looks to finish but Danny distracts the referee. Not that it matters as Jamie gets a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. Commentary made this one insufferable and I don’t see it getting much better. I’m sure there was nothing better for WWE to do than spend years on the Bashams in OVW before bringing them up as unintentionally comedic sex characters. On top of that they’re apparently feuding with a team that got together over group sex. Oh and the boss is having an affair with his mistress. You really shouldn’t need so much of the same theme on one show.

Post match the beatdown is on until Billy Gunn makes the save.

Angle denies attacking Lesnar. I’d believe him.

Next week, Haas and Benjamin defend against Mysterio and Kidman. That would be another week where the Cruiserweight Title isn’t so much as mentioned.

Rey Mysterio vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title of course. Haas takes him down without much effort to start and takes Rey’s head off with a hard clothesline. A hard whip into the corner starts working on Rey’s back and it’s off to something like a torture rack with Tazz referencing the luchador Atlantis of all people. Back up and Charlie misses a charge, allowing Rey to hit a springboard flipping seated senton for two, followed by a springboard spinning crossbody (with Haas having to run over to catch him). The 619 connects but a hurricanrana is countered into the Haas of Pain for the tap.

Rating: C. Charlie got to show off here and a clean win over Mysterio is quite the accomplishment. It’s a very good sign that both he and Benjamin can have solid singles matches and more proof of how great an amateur background is. Even if nothing else is working, just taking them down to the mat is a good way to get through parts of a match. Mysterio as a tag guy is fine, but get the title off of him already. The problem though is finding someone to put it on as the division basically doesn’t exist. On a related note, what the heck happened to Ultimo Dragon? He was around all of two weeks and then vanished.

The cage is lowered.

We recap Brock’s injury.

Angle leaves Vince’s office.

Brock Lesnar vs. Vince McMahon

In a cage with Angle as guest referee. Brock looks banged up but is easily able to shove Vince down twice in a row. The F5 is loaded up but Brock collapses. Angle won’t count the cover so Vince slaps him, earning himself an ankle lock. Brock of course nips up and F5’s Angle for the pretty obvious (not a bad thing) heel turn. No rating as the match doesn’t really end and wasn’t exactly a match in the first place.

A long, long beatdown ends the show. This is definitely the right move as Brock wasn’t working as the good guy and Lesnar vs. Angle II with Lesnar as the heel could be a lot more interesting. One last note: Brock and Vince pose with the camera panning from Vince’s face to Brock’s, who looks completely maniacal with his eyes bugging out for a really creepy visual.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s some very solid wrestling on here (see the first half hour) and Brock turning heel is a good move as Brock just wasn’t working in the role. Him working as Vince’s heavy is a far better use for his talents and gives him some new people to work against. At the same time though, anything below the midcard is basically death at the moment with stuff like Noble and Gunn being goofy wastes of time and Gowen still riding on momentum even though the foot was taken off the gas a long time ago. Get some better stuff on the bottom part of the card and Smackdown could be awesome all over again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 2, 2018
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s a new year on the blue show and that means it’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble. There are a handful of names already announced and there’s a good chance that we’re going to get more of those set up tonight. At the same time, AJ Styles needs an opponent and will be having his second non-title match tonight, this week against Sami Zayn. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Zayn costing Styles a win over Kevin Owens.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ to get things going by wishing us a happy new year. AJ talks about how it’s a new year and a lot of people are making new year’s resolutions, including people wanting to win the Royal Rumble. He has his own resolutions though, like taking this title to Wrestlemania and walking out as champion. His other resolution is to beat Sami Zayn tonight, but AJ wants to know if Kevin will be in Sami’s corner tonight.

This brings out Daniel Bryan but Shane McMahon is out before anything can be said. Shane and Bryan both get some nice chants from the crowd before Shane says there are people accusing him of taking sides in these stories. It seems to Shane though that Bryan is the one with a genuine kinship with both Sami and Kevin. Shane is going to be at ringside and if that’s the case, Bryan thinks Kevin should be out here as well. If those two are going to be out here, Bryan might as well be too!

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

Benjamin and Gable are defending. Before the match, the Usos say they’ve got this place on lock because Benjamin and Gable are in the Uso Penitentiary. Jimmy has to fight out of the corner early but Shelton runs the corner to superplex him down. Gable immediately follows with a moonsault for two and we take an early break.

Back with Jimmy enziguring Gable (clearly didn’t make contact) and a double tag bringing in Jey and Benjamin. Everything breaks down and we hit the dives, only to have Jey get taken back inside for the powerbomb/top rope clothesline for the pin and the titles at 5:33. Hang on a second actually as the other Uso pleads his case, saying Gable pinned the wrong one. Another referee comes out to confirm things and a replay (which confirms that the legal Uso had wrist tape but the one pinned didn’t have tape) means we get a restart.

Back with the Usos starting a brawl before the bell, followed by a Samoan drop to Shelton. The running Umaga Attack misses though and the second powerbomb is loaded up. This time Jey ducks and Chad dives into a superkick. Shelton takes one as well, followed by the Superfly Splash to retain the titles at 13:30 (from opening bell to closing bell).

Rating: C. Kind of a mess with the middle but at least they did get the call right and had some proof in the form of the wrist tape. That being said, it’s never really mattered a lot of the time and suddenly it does here because the script calls for it, which is one of the biggest crutches WWE has to use these days. The Usos are on the roll of a lifetime at this point and outside of the Bludgeon Brothers, I have no idea who is supposed to take the titles from them. It’s not like they have any real competition at this point and I don’t see that changing in the near future.

Renee Young asks Owens and Zayn if tonight is going to be different. Owens talks about having a different breakfast yesterday and being in a different city this week. Tonight though, the outcome is the same: AJ loses. They talk about this being the Sami and Kevin Show (which Sami calls the Seven Show by mistake, though it’s not a bad name) before saying tonight, they prove its their show. These two are still great and you can pretty much guess what’s coming for the Rumble but at least we’re getting some outstandingly heelish promos from these two. Sami adding YEP after anything Owens says is great too.

Bludgeon Brothers vs. Breezango

Rematch from last week where Breezango got destroyed until Ascension came in for the save. Breezango gets jumped before the bell and the beating is on in a hurry. Ascension comes out as well and takes a beating of their own. Again, the lesson learned here: stop putting effort into angles and segments because WWE is going to grind you into dust no matter what you do. No match.

A blindfolded Xavier Woods is swinging a kendo stick in the back when Kofi and Big E. come in. They have a surprise for him, which he can’t guess at first….until he guesses perfectly. Big E: “You can see through that mask can’t you?”. Woods: “I did have Lasik a few years back.”. Woods goes to blow out the candles but Aiden English and Rusev cut him off. English wishes that every single day was RUSEV DAY.

Mojo Rawley is going to beat Zack Ryder in their tournament match next week. Probably so, though Mojo is no Rusev.

US Title Tournament First Round: Xavier Woods vs. Aiden English

Before the match, Rusev sings about how great of a champion English is going to be. English jumps him from behind but gets sent to the floor for a superkick. Back in and English hits him with an elbow, followed by a singing chinlock. Woods fights up and hits something like a torture rack into a Lumbar Check. English takes him up and tries what looks like a super piledriver, only to get backdropped down. The top rope elbow sends Woods on at 5:49.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Woods winning is an interesting choice. Unfortunately it looks like he’s going to lose to Jinder Mahal in the second round, which isn’t the biggest surprise. Also, Rusev isn’t going anywhere in the tournament at all because, much like the Fashion Files, WWE doesn’t seem interested in someone who gets over against their schedule.

Post match Kofi throws a pancake and apparently hits one of the commentators in the head.

The Welcoming Committee (which apparently is still a thing that you’re supposed to remember) is ready to take care of the Riott Squad tonight.

Karl Malone (former WCW main eventer) is here. No mention is made of his wrestling career.

Natalya/Carmella/Tamina vs. Riott Squad

Morgan nips out of Natalya’s headlock to start and has to bail from the threat of a Sharpshooter. Back from a break with Carmella fighting out of Logan’s chinlock and bringing Tamina in for a hard clothesline. Riott breaks up the Superfly Splash though and Logan cartwheels into a knee to the back of the head for the pin at 5:29. Not enough shown to rate but this was just a quick win for the Squad. I can appreciate them trying to build the team up before the Rumble but it’s not like any of these three have a chance at winning.

Post match Riott says everyone here believes in magic (local basketball team name) but everyone here is really miserable. Logan and Morgan are officially in the Rumble. Cue Charlotte to say there’s a woman who wants to teach the Squad a lesson. This brings out Naomi, followed by the returning Becky Lynch to clean house.

We run down the Rumble card.

Baron Corbin says he’s entering the Rumble and going to Wrestlemania. He’s right. It’s just probably going to be in the battle royal.

AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn

Non-title. Shane, Owens and Bryan are at ringside. Sami takes AJ down early to start and gets two off a backdrop. A dropkick gets two more and we take an early break. Back with Sami holding a chinlock to keep AJ grounded. AJ fights back up, only to get his throat snapped across the top rope. Sami gets caught on top but punches his way to freedom, followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb for the same near fall that the move always gets.

Styles is right back up and grabs the Calf Crusher, only to have Sami make it to the ropes in fairly long order. The Phenomenal Forearm doesn’t work but the referee gets knocked to the floor. As expected, AJ grabs a rollup for two as the referee dives in after being held up by Owens. Shane shoves Kevin down and Owens is ejected, followed by Bryan saying Shane should go with him. The distraction lets Sami hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 13:44.

Rating: C+. I don’t think the ending was any kind of a surprise and that’s all well and good. What worries me is the battle of the bosses, as I could easily see this turning into some kind of a mess where the wrestlers are overshadowed for the sake of a story that a lot of people aren’t interested in seeing. The wrestlers are talented so just let them do their thing. We don’t need to see Shane get this kind of focus and it’s been going on for MONTHS now.

Post match AJ tells Owens and Zayn to stop acting like children. He’s tired of everyone else getting involved so let’s just make it a handicap match for the title at the Rumble. A smiling Bryan makes the match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I let out a heavy sign on that ending. Unless that Bryan stuff is a red herring (and I have a feeling it is), they’re actually pushing the idea of Bryan as the heel in this whole mess. I don’t need the focus on Bryan vs. Shane when there is so much talent in the title scene at the moment already. Why we need to sit through those two getting all the attention is beyond me, but it does make me wonder how much WWE cares about the effort those wrestlers are putting in.

As for the rest of the show….eh. Like really, just eh. It’s a show that existed with some watchable matches but everything is kind of on hold while we wait on the big pay per view. The lack of Orton and Nakamura (Where were they anyway?) was odd tonight and left us with more time to focus on the younger guys, which doesn’t always mean the best results. Like I said, what is the point in people like Rusev and Breezango getting over if they’re just going to be used as either cannon fodder or background noise?

Results

Usos b. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin – Superfly Splash to Benjamin

Xavier Woods b. Aiden English – Top rope elbow

Riott Squad b. Natalya/Carmella/Tamina – Cartwheel knee to Tamina’s head

Sami Zayn b. AJ Styles – Helluva Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 31, 2003
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the very good Vengeance and that means it’s time to gear up for Summerslam. The big story is Kurt Angle regaining the Smackdown World Title when he pinned Brock Lesnar. Other than that we have the continuing saga of the McMahons, which hopefully is kept on a leash again this week. We need to get ready for Summerslam though so let’s get to it.

We open with a stills package of Sunday’s main event.

Opening sequence.

We look at Eddie Guerrero splitting with Tajiri, who gets a US Title shot tonight.

Here’s Angle to open things up. After taking in some cheers, Angle talks about what it means to become WWE Champion for the fourth time. But really, was there any doubt? Kurt: “I’m Kurt freaking Angle! What did you expect???”. This title means more to him than any other because of the injury but here he is! Tonight is a dream come true but here’s Brock Lesnar with something to say.

Brock admits that Angle beat him but brings up Lesnar being there with him throughout his entire rehab. That’s why Brock is out here to challenge Angle face to face and man to man for his one on one title rematch. Angle says there’s a lot to consider and a lot of people deserve a shot. Angle: “So Brock, I just don’t think that ok you’re on.”. Well that was an abrupt shift.

This brings out Vince McMahon though and he has some bad news for Brock. Earlier today, Angle came to his office and begged him not to give Lesnar a rematch. Vince likes that line of thinking so Lesnar gets no shot. If Brock wants it, he can earn it down the line but tonight, Lesnar and Angle are facing a team of Vince’s choosing. Somehow, this took fifteen minutes.

Summerslam ad featuring Brock Lesnar F5ing a shark. That always gives me a chuckle.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title again because Rey never defends the stupid thing. Rey takes him down to start without much trouble but an early 619 attempt doesn’t work. Shelton sends Rey shoulder first into the post (underneath the bottom rope for a change) and Charlie Haas gets in a few shots to the bad arm. A shoulder breaker and a regular slam get two before it’s off to a hammerlock.

Rey sends him shoulder first into the post as well though and things are a bit more even. Shelton’s pop up….something is countered into a seated senton for a sweet reversal but Shelton takes him down by the arm again. Benjamin grabs a rather unique looking hold as it’s kind of like a crossface chickenwing but with his legs instead of his arm to wrap up Rey’s arm. Kidman and Haas get in a fight on the floor as the 619 connects. The West Coast Pop is broken up but Rey settles for a victory roll and the pin.

Rating: C+. Like this wasn’t going to be good. I could go for Rey actually defending the Cruiserweight Title but if we keep getting solid outings like this, I can live with it a little bit more. Benjamin wrestling on the mat with more holds and submissions is a good idea for him, as long as he keeps up the athletic stuff as well.

We look back at Jamie Noble defeating Billy Gunn on Sunday, earning him a night with Torrie Wilson.

Jamie is at the hotel, in a cowboy hat and white boxers, getting everything ready. Torrie shows up (my goodness she spends a lot of time winding up in hotel rooms) so Jamie opens the briefcase of toys. This includes leopard print handcuffs, a paddle, something to tickle with, and a Lone Ranger mask. Torrie runs to the bathroom before she’s sick. I guess she’s a Zorro fan.

Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno

Hang on a second though as Rhyno pops up on screen to say he’s tired of being treated like a joke. He has a warm up match for Benoit and this man knows something about jokes.

Chris Benoit vs. Doink the Clown

It’s Nick (Eugene) Dinsmore, who was basically a Benoit clone in OVW, down to using German suplexes and a Crossface for his finishers. Benoit gets tired of waiting on Doink to pull out the rubber chicken and runs him over. A hard clothesline (Benoit: “RHYNO!!!”) takes Doink’s head off (but the wig stays on) and a top rope belly to back superplex knocks Doink silly. The Swan Dive into the Crossface is good for the Benoit win.

Benoit takes his time letting go of the hold. Post match Benoit says he’s ready for Rhyno, who says Benoit doesn’t get what he wants.

Jamie is laying on the bed (with leopard print sheets of course) when Torrie comes out, still in her street clothes (I’m not sure what street someone would be on dressed like that). Nidia comes to the door though and says she’s here to win Noble back with some, ahem, female prowess. She drops her fur coat to reveal some lingerie and dives on Jamie as Torrie can’t help but watch.

Brock asks Angle if he talked to Vince earlier. As I try to figure out why Brock waited the better part of an hour to ask this, Angle says he did talk to Vince and says Vince should keep the major risk in mind. The rematch is still on but Angle has an idea for how Lesnar can get his rematch. It doesn’t make much more sense when Angle says it either.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Tajiri

Eddie is defending and there’s almost no way to hide the fact that he’s the most popular act on the show. The hydraulics in the car don’t work though….because Tajiri was hiding in the trunk and mists Eddie in the aisle. The brawl is on in a hurry but the trainer comes out to check on Eddie’s eyes, drawing an EDDIE chant. Eddie: “I CAN’T SEE!!!” Trainer, holding up three fingers: “How many fingers am I holding up?” Eddie, to the referee: “WILL YOU TELL HIM I CAN’T SEE THE THREE FINGERS HE’S HOLDING UP???”. That’s enough for the referee, who says Eddie either wrestles or loses the title.

We’re joined in progress after a break with Tajiri kicking away and kicking Eddie into the Tree of Woe. More kicks stagger Eddie until he pulls Tajiri face first into the buckle. Eddie gets into a rhythm and sends Tajiri outside for some shots to the back while trying not to make the fans cheer him even more. The slingshot hilo gives Eddie two and we’re off to a chinlock.

Eddie takes too much time going up and gets kicked in the leg, setting up a heck of a top rope superplex. Tajiri is so banged up that Eddie is on his feet first, only to get monkey flipped out to the floor. A hard whip sends Eddie into the steps and Tajiri kicks him in the head for painful measure. Back in and Tajiri scores with the handspring elbow, followed by a tornado DDT for a very delayed two.

We hit the Three Amigos but Tajiri slips out of the third and grabs the Tarantula. With the hold broken, Eddie grabs the referee so he can kick Tajiri low. The referee yells a lot and accidentally gets misted for his efforts. A belt shot to the head drops Tajiri and Eddie pours water in the referee’s eyes. The frog splash retains Eddie’s title.

Rating: B. You kind of knew these two were going to have a good match with each other and I’m glad to see Tajiri getting some exposure like this. The ending might have been a bit messier than it needed to be but it’s a very entertaining way to give Eddie his first title defense. I’m hoping Tajiri gets to do something else because he’s had a very successful summer.

We get a Confidential video on Zach Gowen. He loved wrestling, then he got cancer and lost his leg, then he kept fighting, then he got into wrestling anyway. It’s an amazing story but I think we’ve gotten the idea by now. This eats up over five minutes.

Zach Gowen vs. Shannon Moore

I do miss Out Of My Way as Gowen’s theme song. Moore has Matt, whose favorite season is summer and who is twice the wrestler Zach Gowen is, in his corner. Shannon takes him down and hops around on one foot, earning himself a dropkick to the floor. Back in and Gowen’s tornado DDT is countered into a suplex into the corner for a big crash. Matt offers a trip to cut off a comeback but Gowen hits a leg lariat anyway. A moonsault press gives Gowen two and he dropkicks Matt down, only to get rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. Gowen is better than you would guess and could be more than just a novelty performer but he’s only going to get so far with having one thing to talk about all the time. The match wasn’t bad either but I’m not sure how many people Gowen can realistically fight as he’s very small, ignoring the leg point. Enjoy it while it lasts though.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Before the match, Cena challenges Undertaker to a rematch next week and suggests various sexual contact between Undertaker and Jordan. Orlando punches him before the bell and gets dropped ribs first over the top. Some shots to the ribs slow Cena down but he grabs the ropes to avoid being rolled up. Cena shrugs off some right hands and hits the FU for the easy pin.

A rather disheveled but still clothed Torrie seems to have been drinking all night. Jamie and Nidia come out of the shower and are willing to allow Torrie to join them. Torrie downs another glass of champagne but there’s a knock at the door. It’s a rather angry Billy Gunn, who hugs Torrie….as the other two are at it again.

Brock comes in to see Vince and says he can beat the boss to earn a rematch with Angle. Vince will take the rematch under consideration but the match is on. Brock leaves and Vince makes a phone call.

Back at the hotel….all four of them are in bed together. That would be the third woman Torrie has had at least some form of a relationship with in less than a year.

Here’s Sable to brag about winning and call Stephanie a pussycat. She’s the dominant female and we see a clip of Sunday’s match, which Sable won thanks to A-Train. Sable: “Thanks Vince.” She introduces Vince’s team for tonight and we’re ready to go.

A-Train/Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar/Kurt Angle

Brock doesn’t have any wrist tape and it’s a weird look for him. A-Train shoves Angle down to start as the SHAVE YOUR BACK chants start up. A shoulder runs Angle over but he misses a charge in the corner and gets his ankle locked. Lesnar comes in for a double shoulder, followed by more shoulders to A-Train in the corner. A-Train charges into a powerslam (he needs to stop the charging) and it’s back to Angle, who gets caught in a backbreaker.

Show finally does something by decking Angle from the apron, allowing A-Train to get in a bicycle kick. Now it’s Show coming in and running Angle over before chopping him hard in the corner. Angle’s right hands have little effect as Show cuts him off with a side slam. A Warrior Splash gives A-Train two but Angle catches him with a suplex, allowing the hot tag to Brock. Some rapid fire belly to belly suplexes cut A-Train off and there’s the F5 to Show. Angle tags himself in though and steals the pin like a jerk.

Rating: D. Just a main event tag match with little drama here as it might as well have been the Mega Powers vs. the Twin Towers. We’ve seen Angle and Lesnar beat these two in every possible combination so far so I’m not sure how much doubt there was on something like this. At least the ending helped advance things a bit.

Brock gives Angle an F5 and here’s Vince to say the match next week will be in a cage. Oh and Angle can be guest referee. Brock’s “I done screwed up” look ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a bit up and down as the US Title stuff was rather solid and the Mysterio vs. Benjamin match was entertaining. However, you then have the main event (which was more uneventful than bad), the hotel stuff (which did feature Torrie in some rather fetching attire) and the WAY too long Gowen section. The lack of Vince vs. Stephanie drama helped so much though and it was much more of a good show with some weak spots.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re still in Chicago to wrap up the year and the big story seems to be finding AJ Styles’ next challenger for the Smackdown World Title. We also need to find out what’s going on with the United States Title, which was left in the middle of the ring by champion Dolph Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. Before he says much though, we see a clip of Ziggler leaving the title in the ring last week. The title is now vacant and we’ll be having a tournament to crown a new champion. Fans: “RUSEV!” Bryan says the first match is tonight with Baron Corbin facing Bobby Roode but here are Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin to ask about the Tag Team Title situation. Fans: “RUSEV DAY!”

Shelton says they never got a one on one rematch with the Usos, which of course brings up Rusev and Aiden English being added to the match. They get in the ring and HERE THEY COME! English and Rusev come out with English singing about why they deserve to face the Usos. English: “Just listen, and we will disclose.”

They didn’t lose at Clash but more importantly, Rusev Day is the day after Christmas! Gable: “It’s Boxing Day!” Rusev: “No you fool. IT’S RUSEV DAY!!!” Now it’s New Day with a True False Challenge. Big E.: “Did the team of Chad Gable and Old Jason Jordan get pinned at Clash of Champions?” New Day gets in the ring to dance with Bryan but Rusev, and the RUSEV DAY chants, cut them off. After mentioning Bryan needs Shane McMahon’s approval, a triple threat #1 contenders match is made for right now.

Rusev Day vs. New Day vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

The Usos come out for commentary and it’s Xavier, Chad and English starting things off as we’re in the WCW formula again. Chad gets sent into Rusev but everything breaks down with everyone being sent outside. Xavier hits a big flip dive to take the pile down, followed by Big E. powerbombing him onto English for two. Gable German suplexes English and Big E. at the same time (that’s not normal) and it’s off to Shelton for some stomping.

Rusev comes in for some stomping and more chants in his honor, only to have Big E. run everyone over. A suplex cuts Woods off but English kicks Xavier down. The hot tag brings in Rusev for the house cleaning, including a spinwheel kick to drop Big E. Rolling Chaos Theory takes Rusev down and Woods’ missile dropkick gets two on English.

A Rock Bottom/Backstabber gets two on Gable but Woods jumps into a knee to the head. Gable adds a moonsault for two in a good false finish. English blocks another Rolling Chaos Theory and Woods kicks Gable in the head. A quick reverse AA gets two on Gable with Benjamin making the save. Rusev breaks up a Tower of Doom and powerbombs Gable and Benjamin down, allowing English to add a top rope splash for a VERY close two on Chad.

The second hot tag brings in Rusev for a kick to Woods, setting up a double Accolade for the two of them. Benjamin makes ANOTHER save as the false finishes are strong with this one. Big E. spears Benjamin through the ropes but Shelton escapes the Big Ending. One heck of a running knee staggers Big E. and it’s the powerbomb/top rope clothesline to give Gable the pin at 13:51.

Rating: B. Questionable ending aside, that was a heck of a match with some insane false finishes. Gable/Benjamin vs. the Usos should be a lot of fun but at the same time, the fans want Rusev right now. Maybe he wins the US Title, but my goodness they’re running a risk of blowing what should be a solid opportunity.

The title match is next week.

Shane McMahon comes in to see Daniel and talks about Bryan saying Shane is becoming Vince. Shane defends his father, which certainly doesn’t sound like a speech to make people believe that Vince is a business genius who can totally pull off the XFL II. On top of that, Shane isn’t cool with the US Title Tournament because Corbin should get a one on one singles match.

Bryan likes the idea of giving multiple people chances and Shane can go with that. What he can’t go with is AJ vs. Kevin Owens (non-title) tonight in the main event Bryan has made. There’s been talk of favoritism being shown to Kevin and Sami Zayn, which Shane needs to prevent. Bryan thinks we should finish the year with another entry in a great rivalry. Shane reluctantly agrees.

Breezango vs. Bludgeon Brothers

Ascension got Breezango this match as a present. Breezango goes straight at them, earning Fandango a spinning Boss Man Slam and Breeze a face plant on the apron. Back in and Harper’s big boot drops Breeze, followed by an assisted sitout powerbomb for two with Rowan pulling him up. The beating continues but the Ascension runs in to attack the Brothers for the DQ at 2:06.

The Ascension say Breezango aren’t ready for an interview but they’re ready to challenge the Brothers to a rematch next week. Breezango doesn’t look happy.

Video on the Women’s Royal Rumble, including the Women’s Revolution history.

Ruby Riott vs. Naomi

Naomi goes right at her to start and hits a springboard kick to the face. Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan offer distractions though, allowing Riott to kick Naomi in the leg. The Riott Kick is good for the pin at 57 seconds.

The post match beatdown is on but Charlotte makes the save. The numbers game gets the better of Charlotte as well though, only to have Tamina, Lana, Natalya (So we’re just dropping the turning her back on Smackdown story?) and Carmella make the save. The Squad loses a quick fight and gets chased off. As usual, Carmella shows no interest in cashing in on the downed Charlotte.

AJ Styles talks about challenging himself in 2017. He started the year as WWE Champion and he’s ending it the same way. Owens isn’t outworking him and AJ is ending the year on a high note.

US Title Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin sends him into the corner to start and hammers away, including some forearms to the chest. A spinning side slam gives Corbin two and he follows it up with a hard running clothesline on the floor. Back in and Roode hits some clotheslines followed by the Blockbuster for his first near fall.

End of Days is broken up and Corbin’s slide underneath the ropes only earns him a spinebuster. The Glorious DDT is countered into Deep Six for two more. Corbin takes him up top for a superplex but Roode slips out and shoves him down. He dives right into a chokeslam but counters that into a rollup for the fast pin to put Corbin away at 8:39.

Rating: C+. Nice back and forth match here, though I’m still not completely sold on Ziggler being gone. Roode winning is another interesting call as Corbin, the former champion, seemed to be pretty close to a lock to move on at least to the second round. The near falls were good here and it was an entertaining little match, which is about all you can ask for here.

US Title Tournament First Round: Jinder Mahal vs. Tye Dillinger

Tye sends him outside to start and we take a very early break. Back with Jinder holding him in a chinlock until Tye fights up with the left hands. The Tyebreaker is broken up so Tye goes up, only to have Jinder roll through a high crossbody for two. Jinder grabs a fireman’s carry but tosses him up for a gutbuster and another near fall. Tye gets crotched in the corner though and the Khallas sends Jinder on at 5:58. Not enough shown to rate but this is where Mahal should have been seven months ago and a lot of the damage has been done.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn have a bottle of champagne to celebrate tonight’s win. It’s the same bottle that Daniel Bryan wouldn’t accept from them but tonight there’s no cheating guest referee. After tonight, there’s a party which only the two of them are invited to.

Randy Orton officially enters the Royal Rumble. Shinsuke Nakamura comes in to say that sounds like a good idea so he’s in too.

AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title with Sami Zayn at ringside. Owens charges into a dropkick at the bell and Styles hits his jumping knee. An early Calf Crusher sends Owens bailing to the ropes and Owens kicks AJ out to the floor in a heap. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed by a kick to the back as we take a break.

We come back with AJ fighting out of another chinlock but eating a hard clothesline. A neckbreaker on the knee gives Owens two more but the Cannonball misses. AJ wins a slugout with the Phenomenal Blitz into the seated forearm. The Pele drops Owens again but a springboard is countered into a gutbuster.

Owens goes up for a middle rope Vader Bomb elbow for two more as frustration is setting in. There’s another neckbreaker to send Owens outside but AJ dives onto Zayn this time around. Another distraction lets Owens superkick him down for two so here’s Shane to eject Sami. That means the referee misses Owens getting rolled up, allowing Owens to grab his own rollup for the pin at 16:30.

Rating: B. These two have surprisingly average chemistry together so this was one of their better performances. In theory this sets up Owens as a potential challenger, but odds are the focus is going to be on Shane (again) for reasons that I’m not clear on. You would think AJ Styles and the World Title would be enough but why do that when you can put the focus on the McMahons?

Shane apologizes to AJ, who doesn’t seem pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The first hour lacking commercials didn’t do it any favors but this was definitely a solid night with a lot of stuff taking place. You can feel the Ryan Ward influence at times as they knock down so much stuff in a show every now and then. Things should be picking up for the Rumble season and that’s a great thing for everyone. Tone Shane way down and you might even have a great show.

Results

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. New Day and Rusev Day – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline combination to Big E.

Bludgeon Brothers b. Breezango via DQ when Ascension interfered

Ruby Riott b. Naomi – Riott Kick

Bobby Roode b. Baron Corbin – Rollup

Jinder Mahal b. Tye Dillinger – Khallas

Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 24, 2003
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Vengeance and hopefully the improvements continue around here. The big story continues to be the McMahon family drama but the World Title scene is starting to heat up. There are a few other good things going on around here and I’m actually looking forward to the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s handicap match with Kurt Angle defeating Big Show and the World’s Greatest Tag Team (albeit with some assistance from Zach Gowen).

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon to get things going. She’s had a rough week but tonight she’s taking Smackdown back. Tonight’s main event will be Big Show/World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Kurt Angle/Zach Gowen/Brock Lesnar. After some threats to Sable, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena had a dream about Stephanie last night and it had him standing at attention. He makes a bunch of jokes about her chest and gives Stephanie $20 to rip Sable’s top off. Cena: “I got this little fetish with nipples.”

What he’d really like to do is give her a spank though and Stephanie actually lets him, complete with bending over to help him out. Cena does in fact spank her but here’s Sable to interrupt, ending this week’s edition of “Stephanie is a sex symbol and we’re going to know about it”. She shows us a clip from last week’s messy brawl before bringing up Linda being attacked on Monday. Stephanie can worry about Linda though because Sable can take care of Vince. Chase is given and we take a break.

Back with Stephanie screeching about Sable and being told she’s in the parking lot.

Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore

I wonder what Matt, who is considered sacred in Japan and defeated Mysterio and Kidman on consecutive pay per views, thinks of Stephanie’s spankability. Mysterio headlocks Matt to start before stopping a charge in the corner. Kidman adds a slingshot legdrop for two and it’s off to Shannon, who lured Kidman into a cheap shot from Matt.

For some reason the announcers debate whether Kamala was from the Himalayas until Matt gets two off a neckbreaker. The double teaming continues with Matt adding another forearm from the apron. We hit the double arm crank with Hardy’s boot in Kidman’s back. That’s broken up without much effort and the hot tag brings Mysterio back in. Things speed up in a hurry with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog.

Matt breaks up the 619, allowing Shannon to kick Rey in the chest to take him down. A sitout powerbomb plants Rey again to give Shannon two but Kidman is back in with a high crossbody. Matt breaks that up with a top rope legdrop but Rey hurricanranas him out to the floor. The 619 takes Shannon down and it’s the shooting star for the pin.

Rating: B. This took its time to get going but the last few minutes were excellent fast paced stuff. Mysterio and Kidman should be awesome as challengers to Haas and Benjamin on Sunday and if it’s given enough time, we could be in for a show stealer. I don’t think the titles are changing hands but at least it’s going to be fun while it lasts. That being said, the fact that I completely forgot Mysterio was Cruiserweight Champion until later in the show is a bad sign. Just don’t put the title on him if this is what you’re using him for.

Stephanie chases Sable, who was just standing there while Stephanie came running up. Of course Stephanie WON’T STOP SCREECHING, even as she rips Sable’s top off. Sable gets in the limo but Vince pops up to stop Stephanie from breaking the window. Vince won’t answer why he’s not at home taking care of Linda. They really aren’t hiding what they’re doing with Sable and Stephanie and it’s not working. Stephanie as the vicious fighter is rather laughable and they’re all but advertising that someone is losing clothes on Sunday. The screeching is ruining almost any positives about the whole thing though and that’s a problem.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn

Well at least it’s not at the pay per view. Nidia isn’t here tonight but it has NOTHING to do with Jamie offering Torrie money for sleeping with him. Billy charges in and hammers away before hitting his hiptoss into a neckbreaker (cool move). They head outside with Jamie sending him into the barricade. A Torrie distraction lets Billy grab a slam into a swinging Rock Bottom for the very fast pin. Now let this stupid thing be over.

Post match Jamie says he’s better than Billy in every way, including in bed. Torrie grabs the mic and says they can have a rematch at Vengeance and if Jamie beats him, she’ll sleep with Jamie. Right here on Smackdown next week.

Video on the Asia tour.

We see Torrie’s proposal again.

The A-Train comes in to see the APA, who invite him to the Bar Room Brawl. Brother Love, the Conquistadors, Tough Enough guys and the EASTER BUNNY will be there. A-Train: “Where I come from, we HATE the Easter Bunny.” A-Train doesn’t want Bradshaw’s new book and leaves. Cue the Brooklyn Brawler, who wants in so he can beat Doink up for whatever reason. Brawler has to prove himself tonight.

Cena is standing in a flaming pentagram and cuts a rather religious promo about how evil he’ll be on Sunday. This show is all over the place tonight.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero for a chat. Before getting in the ring, Eddie polishes the low rider’s chrome for a bit (drawing the face pop of the night). In spite of the rest of this show, that’s not a euphemism for anything else. Eddie talks about being ready to face his best friend Chris Benoit on Sunday so here’s Benoit to interrupt. Benoit laughs off the idea of them being best friends because Eddie hasn’t called him in months. How many best friends does Eddie have?

Eddie laughs off the idea but it’s ok because he was just lying. After seeming to forget his lines, Eddie says he can’t stand Benoit and we go over their history together. Eddie is sick of being the second in command to someone like Benoit. That’s why he’s winning the US Title on Sunday. Benoit is ready to fight right now but Eddie uses the “on my time” excuse. Eddie tries a cheap shot but settles for blinding Benoit with the car polish, drawing a loud EDDIE chant. Rhyno comes out for the save and it’s time for a challenge. Eddie ignores him and plays with the polish bottle in a glorious moment. The match is finally made.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rhyno

Joined in progress with Rhyno pounding on Eddie and cutting off a charge with a raised boot. A powerbomb into Snake Eyes gives Rhyno two and we’re off to an early chinlock. Rhyno slams him down and grabs the same hold. Eddie fights up and grabs a northern lights suplex for two but Rhyno comes back with a Crossface. It’s very odd seeing Rhyno wrestle as the heel here, just a few minutes after Eddie TRIED TO BLIND Benoit.

Eddie sends him outside for a slingshot dive to take over for the first time, much to the crowd’s delight. Back in and Eddie stands on Rhyno’s hair before soaking in the cheers. Rhyno is back up with a shoulder block for two, followed by a spinebuster for a very delayed near fall. Eddie is right back up with a super hurricanrana but has to avoid the Gore. That means a low blow to Rhyno with Eddie being smart enough to claim that he took one instead. The confused referee doesn’t seem to mind and counts the pin on Rhyno (with Eddie’s feet on the ropes just because).

Rating: B. Eddie is a national treasure and the company is smart enough to not even really try to push him as a full on heel. It says a lot when he’s so talented at being a villain that the fans can’t help but cheer him even more. This is some of the best stuff he’s ever done and it’s becoming more and more of a treat to see him every single week.

The APA visited the troops this week and invited Saddam Hussein to the Bar Room Brawl.

APA vs. FBI

Heel miscommunication leads to the Clothesline ending Palumbo in about thirty seconds.

Nunzio gets beaten up as well so here’s the Brawler to chair the APA down. The Bashams, the A-Train and Sean O’Haire come in to join on the beating.

Vince comes in to see Gowen but Lesnar and Angle make the save. You know, because the would-be hero needs to be saved from Vince.

Pay per view run down. This isn’t on the Network version, likely due to a music issue.

Big Show/World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Kurt Angle/Brock Lesnar/Zach Gowen

Angle grabs a front facelock on Shelton before getting shouldered down. That’s enough of this wrestling stuff so Angle tosses Shelton with a suplex. Haas comes in and gets armbarred as well before Brock comes in for some hard shoulders in the corner. Lesnar tosses Gowen onto Haas and Benjamin, again making me wonder why I’m supposed to care about a glorified mascot.

Show tosses Gowen around and it’s back to Angle as everything breaks down. Cue Vince to chair Gowen in the good leg, leaving Angle and Lesnar to suplex/spinebuster Haas and Benjamin. Gowen is taken to the back and we go to a break. Back with Angle hammering on Show until Shelton makes a save. The jump over Haas onto Angle’s back gets two and it’s off to Big Show for a half crab.

Shelton’s superkick gets two but Angle throws Charlie down, allowing the hot tag off to Lesnar. More house is cleaned until Big Show kicks him in the face to slow things right back down. Everything breaks down again and the Angle Slam into the ankle lock has Show in trouble. Lesnar F5’s Charlie but breaks the hold by mistake, leaving Show to grab the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was starting to drag but thank goodness they got rid of Gowen so soon. It seems that they’re already realizing that there’s nothing there and it’s a big waste of time to pretend otherwise. The World Title feud has been well built, but have either Haas/Benjamin or Mysterio/Kidman mentioned that they’re fighting each other on Sunday? I don’t think either seem to realize it.

Lesnar mauls all three villains post match but gets in a fight with Angle. The distraction lets Show hit a double chokeslam to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Vengeance is getting one of the oddest builds I’ve ever seen. The World Title match is perfectly fine, but the rest is this weird combination of stuff that makes me want to gouge my ears off (anything McMahon related) and outstanding stuff (anything Eddie does at the moment). Above all else though, there’s a ton of good stuff to look forward to on Sunday but at the same time, there’s a lot of stuff that feels like an excuse to torture us. The show was good though and I’m more interested in seeing the pay per view than I was, which is all this was supposed to accomplish.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 19, 2017
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the first show after Clash of Champions and the bosses have some splainin to do. This past Sunday, Shane McMahon refused to count the fall in the tag match but Daniel Bryan one upped him with a fast count. Other than that, it’s time to start the build to the Royal Rumble, which could mean several different things. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sunday’s tag match. No title matches, including the main event, are mentioned.

Here’s Bryan to get things going. After mentioning the women’s Royal Rumble, he plugs tonight’s main event. Cue Shane and it’s time for the awkward conversation. They talk about Sunday’s match and Shane says the emotions got the better of him. When he was about to count the three, he thought of Owens beating his father up and the two of them screwing Smackdown at Survivor Series.

Bryan cheated too though, and Shane wants to know why. Daniel says he did it to protect Shane from himself, which Shane says he doesn’t need. What Bryan did on Sunday was to protect their idea: making this place the land of opportunity for everyone, not just the people Shane likes. Shane warns Bryan that Sami and Kevin will turn on him when they’ve gotten what they can out of him. Bryan accuses Shane of doing what’s best for business, and if that’s the case, fire him now because he doesn’t want to see Shane turn into Mr. McMahon. Shane teases firing him but says he’ll let Daniel run the show tonight.

Usos vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

Non-title. Gable takes Jimmy down to start but the Usos take him into the corner for some alternating splashes. Back with Jey enziguring Shelton down and the hot tag bringing Jimmy in. The Samoan drop plants Chad, followed by a wicked Umaga attack in the corner. A superkick looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Shelton makes the save. Rolling Chaos Theory sets up the powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for the pin on Jimmy at 7:42.

Rating: C-. They needed to do something with Benjamin and Gable so hopefully this sets up their definitive title shot. I don’t think we’ll actually get new champions out of this but at least we’re setting something up here. The Usos need some new challengers and it’s pretty clear we’re going to be seeing the Bludgeon Brothers there sooner or later. Odds are Gable and Benjamin lose in short order, but at least the match should be good.

We look back at the women’s Royal Rumble announcement, including a bunch of reactions from wrestlers.

Here’s Charlotte for a chat. She talks about how excited she is and can’t wait for the match. She’ll be waiting to defend her title at Wrestlemania against the winner, but here’s Naomi to interrupt. She officially enters the Rumble and promises to see Charlotte at Wrestlemania. This brings out the Riott Squad with Naomi ripping on the three of them. Naomi goes a step further by challenging them to a match after the break.

Naomi/Charlotte vs. Ruby Riott/Sarah Logan

Joined in progress with Charlotte chopping Logan but missing a big boot. Logan chop blocks her down and hands it off to Ruby for a leg lock. Charlotte finally breaks out and knees Logan in the ribs, allowing the hot tag to Naomi. A long series or rapid fire forearms and a kick to the head rock Logan as everything breaks down. With Charlotte taking Riott down, the Rear View ends Logan at 3:36.

Rating: D. No time to go anywhere here but is there a reason the Riott Squad lost again? I mean other than to separate them from Absolution of course (One loses, the other doesn’t. That’s totally different!). Charlotte not being in the Rumble is going to make it a bit more difficult to get to 30 but at least there’s a real prize for the winner.

New Day, in Christmas gear, gives out presents, including flapjacks and shirts. Rusev and Aiden English, dressed as Santa and Frosty respectively, show up to plug the Happy Rusev Day shirt. Rusev only has a naughty list and English sings a challenge (“Oh Rusev Day, oh Rusev Day. We challenge you to a contest!”). Rusev stomps on the pancakes so Big E. says he just flapped the wrong jack.

Here’s Dolph Ziggler to say he knew he belonged around here with the US Title being proof. It’s not even his first reign and we see a clip of him winning the title at Capitol Punishment (That was SIX YEARS AGO???). We see his Intercontinental Title wins as well, followed by winning Money in the Bank and the successful cash-in. Ziggler says people need something to remember him by, so he lays the title down and walks away. If that’s how they get rid of Ziggler, fine, but what was the point of taking the title off Corbin?

Sami and Owens present Bryan with a bottle of champagne but he tells them to go get ready for their match before he fires them himself.

New Day vs. Rusev/Aiden English

We get a LOUD Rusev Day chant before things get going. I’m sure they’ll be punished later. English (Frosty) and Kofi (gingerbread man) start things off with Kofi being sent outside for a little dance. Rusev (Santa)gives chase, leaving English to take a dropkick. Big E. (elf) grabs the bag of presents and throws some shirts to the crowd. There are some homemade Happy Rusev Day underwear as well though, allowing English and Rusev to jump them from behind.

Back from a break with Kofi in trouble as the fans want pancakes. Rusev charges into Kofi’s boot and a tornado DDT takes him down. Woods (reindeer) comes in off the hot tag but the Honor Roll is countered into a fireman’s carry spinebuster for two. The pancakes are put on the table and English covers them with whipped cream. Woods won’t go into them so English does instead. English is ready to fight (“FOR RUSEV!!!”) but charges into a shot to the face. The top rope elbow ends English at 8:38.

Rating: C. I’m usually into these Christmas matches but sweet goodness Rusev and English need to run with this thing while they can. The fans are eating it up like pancakes with whipped cream and they’re losing every single week. Even if it’s just for a little while, let them see where they can go. It’s better than putting Woods in a white suit and calling them Speed Force.

Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura/AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

Rematch from Tribute to the Troops. Orton and Mahal get things going but everything breaks down before anything happens. Everyone winds up on the floor with Orton bouncing Mahal off the announcers’ table. Back in where Nakamura is driven into the wrong corner so Sami can start in on the arm. Nakamura lays on Sami’s chest on the ropes and pulls his chest hair out for a rare bit of offense. Orton drapes Sami over the top rope for two and it’s back to Mahal. The referee tells him thirty seconds and about thirty seconds later we go to a break with Owens stomping on Orton.

Back with Orton fighting out of a chinlock and bringing AJ in to….get sent outside in short order. Sami gets in some right hands for two of his own as the villains start taking turns on Styles. AJ DDT’s his way to freedom and brings in Nakamura for the real house cleaning. A series of kicks and knees to the head rock Sami and that means Good Vibrations. More strikes look to set up the exploder but Nakamura settles for a cross armbreaker instead.

Owens is right there with the backsplash for the save but gets sent outside. Everything breaks down again with AJ slingshotting onto Owens with the forearm. The Singh Brothers break up the Kinshasa but only get ejected instead of drawing a DQ. Not that it matters as Mahal eats an RKO, drawing them back to ringside. That means a double draping DDT, a Phenomenal Forearm for Owens and Kinshasa for the pin on Sami at 15:21.

Rating: C+. Standard house show main event here and that’s fine enough. I like the idea of Nakamura getting some feature time for a change as he could become a big time player in the main event scene soon enough if need be. That being said, was there ANY reason for Sami to take the pin here instead of Mahal? Come on already.

A long celebration seems to set something up but just ends the show instead.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it’s nice to see how much effort they put in this week. This show was their version of a Smackdown Christmas special, meaning one match felt different than any other week. It’s not bad and it didn’t drag along like Raw, but don’t expect any kind of major developments here. I know it’s the holidays and this is all they can really do given how few people will be watching, but that doesn’t make it any less dull.

Results

Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable b. Usos – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline to Jimmy

Charlotte/Naomi b. Riott Squad – Rear View to Logan

New Day b. Aiden English/Rusev – Top rope elbow to English

Randy Orton/AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Jinder Mahal – Kinshasa to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6