NXT – March 25, 2015: They’re Nothing If Not Perceptive
NXT Date: March 25, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves
We’re back home in Florida tonight with the main event being Kevin Owens defending the NXT Title against Finn Balor. This is the lower level main event that still has the potential to tear the house down if they’re given enough time, which NXT is usually really good about doing. In addition to that, we have Sasha Banks defending the Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s road trip to Columbus for the first episode out of Florida.
Opening sequence.
Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss
Sasha is defending after losing a non-title match via countout last week. Bliss grabs a quick rollup for two and a crucifix gets the same. More rollups get more near falls and Sasha is having trouble keeping up with Sasha early on. Bliss tries to jump over her in the corner but gets kicked in the ribs to finally slow things down. A running slap to a seated Bliss gets two and the double knees to the ribs in the corner get the same. Sasha shouts that Bliss isn’t in her league but Bliss escapes the straitjacket choke into a small package for two.
The champ gets thrown out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Bliss lands a slap of her own followed by some forearms before the Glitz Flip (moonsault into two knees to the chest) gets two more. The fans are WAY behind Bliss now which really does show both how good she is as a plucky face and how awesome Sasha is as a heel. Bliss takes time going up and gets slammed down, setting up the Bank Statement for the submission at 5:38.
Rating: C+. I seem to be the last person to notice it, but Sasha has gotten AWESOME in the last few months and is looking like the next big star of the Women’s Division. I believe Sara Del Ray is training the girls down there and it might be time to bring her up to train the Divas, because I don’t remember the last time these girls had a bad match. That’s unthinkable for the main roster Divas.
Kevin Owens says Finn Balor made his mark by dressing up like a demon. Owens made his mark by debuting and becoming NXT Champion in two months. Bring the demon tonight because it won’t matter. No one is taking this title from him and his family.
Video on Owens’ short time in NXT and his quick rise to the top.
Emma comes up to Bayley in the back and says she told Bayley so. Bayley has been being too nice with the hugs and then she went out and lost to Becky Lynch. She needs to find her inner aggression because the NXT Universe will lie to her. Bayley doesn’t but it and stands up to Emma, so the Aussie slaps her HARD in the face. Emma as the disenchanted main roster failure is an interesting new character and a logical progression for her.
Tyler Breeze doesn’t like being asked what his next move is because it’s a stupid question. After beating “Hideous” Itami last week, he wants to get the NXT Title and make it gorgeous. Itami comes up and says he beat Breeze too, so he wants 2/3 falls next week.
Wrestlemania card rundown.
Finn Balor video, showing him taking NXT by storm.
We look at Alex Riley getting beaten up by Owens last week.
Enzo, Cass and Carmella are in the back when Murphy and Blake come up to apologize to her. They bring her jewelry but the guys aren’t impressed. Carmella wants to know why they never get her jewelry.
NXT Title: Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens
Owens is defending and Balor isn’t in the demon paint. We’re ready to go after some Big Match Intros and they have well over twenty minutes for the match not counting commercials. Kevin bails to the floor to start before getting back into the corner. It’s a trap though as Balor shoves him back but eats a hard shot to the face. A headlock slows Balor down a bit and Kevin wants to know where the demon is now. He’s a Dale Torborg fan? Finn gets up and scores with a nice dropkick as we take a break.
Back with Balor holding an armbar before a basement dropkick gets two. Owens drives him into the corner but uses the weakened arm to drive a shoulder into the ribs, only to further damage it. A Stunner over the top rope puts Balor down and Owens puts his boot on Finn’s jaw. We hit the chinlock as this is clearly going like a long match instead of just running through the motions. Back up and Owens levels him with an elbow to the face but is good enough to hold the arm after, making it easier for Balor to kick out. Off to another chinlock as we take a second break.
Back with Owens driving his boot into Balor’s ribs before putting on another chinlock with his knee in the back. This one doesn’t last as long as Owens throws him to the floor and has an evil look on his face. The powerbomb onto the apron is countered with a backdrop and they head back inside with Owens catching him in something resembling White Noise for two. The backsplash gets the same and we hit the chinlock again. That’s getting a bit repetitive which isn’t something you often see in NXT.
Owens asks if Balor wants to stand back up and whips him hard into the buckle. A nice overhead belly to belly (with an even better face from Balor) gets two and we’re back to the chinlock, earning a big ovation from the crowd. They’re nothing if not perceptive. Back from another break with Finn making his comeback with forearms and a backdrop to put the champ on the floor. He follows Kevin out with a big flip dive and the top rope double stomp to the back for two in the ring.
The Pele drops Kevin again but Finn can’t follow up. The Sling Blade sets up the reverse Impaler for two more and Balor is STUNNED. Owens avoids the running corner dropkick and Finn comes up holding his knee. The champ goes right after the injury with kicks and chop blocks before ramming it into the apron. A backsplash on the knee sets up a half crab but Balor crawls over for the rope. Balor escapes a powerbomb attempt and hits the jumping double stomps to put both guys down.
Owens goes up but gets kicked in the head, only to counter Finn’s superplex attempt into a spinning release fisherman’s superplex (freaking SWEET) for two. Kevin can barely move so Finn kicks him in the head again, only to have the champ chop block him again. The Cannonball connects and Finn is almost out of it.
Owens wraps the bad leg around the ropes and hits a Cannonball onto the leg, but his third attempt only hits buckle. Finn hits a running dropkick (he really shouldn’t be able to do that) and the Coup de Grace but his knee is too hurt to cover. That’s more like it. Owens gets up and hits the pop up powerbomb to retain at 30:37.
Rating: B+. This took its time getting going and the first half had too much chinlockery, but once they got in a grove and had Balor messing up his leg, this was all gravy. Owens is ready for the main roster and Balor has been ready since before he set foot in NXT, but I’m very glad they’re sticking around here and getting to put on awesome matches like this one. That arena is going to come unglued when Sami comes back to fight Owens again.
Overall Rating: B. Good episode this week as we wrap up the first half of this cycle and can move on to the next big batch of matches, perhaps with the next Takeover coming soon. This was a really fun night though and Balor showed how ready he is for the main roster. I wasn’t completely thrilled with the main event at first but they made me care about it. That’s one of the hardest things to do in wrestling and those two nailed it. Finally, I continue to love this crowd as they acknowledged the amount of chinlocks and applauded to let the guys know to mix it up a bit. How awesome is that?
Results
Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss – Bank Statement
Kevin Owens b. Finn Balor – Pop up powerbomb
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVII: The Night Miz Won
Wrestlemania XXVII Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews
This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.
Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.
The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.
As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.
Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.
We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.
Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.
Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge
Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.
Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.
A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.
Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.
Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.
Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.
Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.
Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.
Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.
The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.
Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.
Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.
Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.
We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.
Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella
Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.
Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.
He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.
We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.
Randy Orton vs. CM Punk
The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.
Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.
Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.
Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.
The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.
BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!
Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.
Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.
We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.
Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.
Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?
Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.
Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.
Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.
Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.
And then it happens.
We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.
We get a video on Wrestlemania week.
We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.
HHH vs. Undertaker
HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.
HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.
Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.
HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.
A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.
HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.
Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.
Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.
Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.
John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler
Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.
Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.
Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.
The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.
Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.
Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz
Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.
Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.
A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.
Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.
Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.
Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.
Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.
Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.
Ratings Comparison
Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: B
Redo: B-
Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Original: B-
Redo: B
Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler
Original: C
Redo: D-
Undertaker vs. HHH
Original: B
Redo: B
Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool
Original: N/A
Redo: D+
Miz vs. John Cena
Original: C-
Redo: D-
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D
Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.
First of all I’ve added a Columns section to the quick links menu on the right. I Want To Talk A Little Bit About has pretty much been replaced by the columns so there needed to be a place where they were all collected.
Second, I gave Lucha Underground its own section on the All Reviews and Miscellaneous pages. They have almost twenty shows so it’s long past time it had its own area.
New Column: OH YEAH!
This was originally going to be an “I Want To Talk A Little Bit About” when I came up with it about a year and a half ago but procrastination got in the way. It’s perfect for something like this though which is why that series is practically retired.
Monday Nitro – November 1, 1999: For Goodness’ Sake
Monday Nitro #212 Date: November 1, 1999 Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota Attendance: 8,362
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
It’s still tournament time and tonight we get the other half of the first round. Some of the matches were already announced on Thunder, but I’d actually be surprised if they remembered those matches after four days. Other than that I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of the Filthy Animals vs. the Revolution, which hopefully means more of Torrie. Let’s get to it.
The Outsiders are drinking in their locker room when Bret comes in to yell at them for interfering last week. They handed him the US Title but Bret wants them to stay out of his business. You can see it coming from here.
After the usual intro, here’s Bret on crutches with something to say. He’s seen the tape from last week (now there’s something you don’t hear every day) and doesn’t want to be associated with screwjobs. As far as he’s concerned, Goldberg is still the US Champion. This brings out Sid to say it’s his because he has proof Goldberg said he quit at Halloween Havoc. They tell each other to screw themselves but here are the Outsiders to break up a powerbomb. Nash hands Sid the belt but tells him to go to the back. They yell at Bret as this is already confusing.
There’s a cage above the ring.
Here are some more brackets for the tournament.
Chris Benoit
Dean Malenko
Madusa
Evan Karagias
Scott Hall
Sid Vicious
The Cat
Lash Leroux
Buff Bagwell
Stevie Ray
Vampiro
Berlyn
Disco Inferno
Curt Hennig
Booker T.
Jeff Jarrett
Double Madusa. Oh joy.
Saturn and Torrie arrive on a motorcycle but Asya is right there to prevent her from running off. That’s one of the more logical things I’ve seen on this show in weeks.
Quick look back at Savage’s speech last week about finding someone to hand the torch to.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Vampiro vs. Berlyn
Berlyn takes him down with a headlock to start but Vampiro does the same to him. In a match between two people who could be World Champion, the announcers talk about Torrie. Back up and Berlyn scores with a kick to the ribs but charges into a powerslam for no cover. Cue the band the Misfits to surround the ring as Berlyn hits a spinwheel kick. Vampiro kicks him down as well but the referee gets bumped. The bodyguard comes in with his loaded glove but the Misfits take him out, allowing Vampiro to hit him with a chair. Vampiro dives into a dropkick but the Misfits trip Berlyn to give Vampiro the pin.
Rating: D. Someone take away Russo’s caffine. It’s a four minute and eleven second match but there was a ref bump (I’ll go low and say the first of three tonight) and FIVE people interfering. I’m fine with Vampiro pinning Berlyn, but you can easily do the same thing and get to the same post match stuff with WAY more extra stuff. Does Russo really think fans aren’t going to stick around for this match if the Misfits and the bodyguard don’t interfere during a ref bump? I know he’s delusional but come on.
Post match Berlyn says screw this character and walks off.
Kevin Nash says he can’t be Scott Hall’s manager tonight so he’ll be his promoter instead.
Shane Douglas has Torrie in a cage because that’s how you treat filthy animals. “Is this how Billy likes it?”
After a recap of the Revolution kidnapping Torrie last week, here’s the Revolution for a chat. Shane calls out the Filthy Animals because he has an offer for them. Saturn has the key to the cage, so he challenges Eddie for…….wait for it…….you know it’s coming……..A KEY ON A POLE MATCH!!! I’m stunned it took Russo this long to get to one. Malenko rips on Benoit so here’s Chris to say we should make their match a cage match. And thank goodness there’s one above the ring.
Kevin Nash is in a makeup chair.
The Filthy Animals aren’t allowed into the building so they beat up the security guards.
Mike Tenay is in the back with the Nitro Girls. Kimberly says Page is so injured that she has to leave the team to take care of him.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: The Cat vs. Lash Leroux
The now blond Miller is here against doctor’s orders though the injury isn’t specified. He slaps Lash in the face to start and punches his way out of a sunset flip attempt. Somehow being injured has really opened up his offense. Lash Irish whips him across the ring, Miller’s knee gives out, Lash grabs a basic leg lock and Cat gives up. This didn’t even last a minute and the announcers were too busy talking about Nash’s makeup to notice the match until it was over.
Hart says either the Outsiders or Sid are going to pay.
AC Jazz and Spice argue over who is going to lead the Nitro Girls. Why do they need a leader? Ah that would be because EVERYTHING HAS TO BE AN ANGLE around here.
The Filthy Animals are filming Luger and Elizabeth, with the former wanting to know what Elizabeth is going to do to help in his matches. The audio is out of sync and the camera crew is shown directing the scene. I’m assuming this is more breaking the fourth wall, but it might be something a bit better, like horrible production and not knowing how to run a show.
Larry Zbyszko has gone to Scott Steiner’s house to talk about Scott’s recent back surgery. Scott hurt his back about a year ago and then a shoulder injury made it even worse. The medicine didn’t help so he had surgery and starts rehab in 21 days. This didn’t mean much but an update is nice.
The Nitro Girls get in a fight during their routine. My goodness just let them be cheerleaders.
Tenay tells Buff Bagwell that the Powers That Be have a new surprise for him. Buff says that’s two for him and zero for them.
Nash is on the phone.
We recap the Nitro Girls fighting. Wrestling? Anyone? Soon perhaps?
They fight again in the back. Egads that’s four segments in the first hour. Add “patience” to the list of words Russo doesn’t know.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Buff Bagwell vs. Stevie Ray
Wait, this isn’t ready to go yet either. Stevie says the Powers That Be have made this a strap match. He chokes away in the corner as Heenan thinks Nash’s makeup reminds him of a former employer. We’re getting Kevin McMahon aren’t we? More choking ensues until Buff throws him over the top to hang Stevie. Cue the Harris Brothers to jump Buff and that’s a DQ. So the Powers want to screw with Buff by having him advance in the tournament?
Buff gets away so they go after Stevie, only to have Booker come out for the save.
Jeff Jarrett is annoyed people still think he hit Elizabeth with a guitar. What’s funnier to me is that she hasn’t mentioned it yet.
Here’s Kevin Nash as Vince McMahon. I guess this is the long awaited response to the Billionaire Ted skits? Nash says he does everything for the fans in his best Vince voice, which really isn’t all that great. He’s the most powerful man in sports entertainment and he built this place single handedly. In a pre-emptive move tells the fans not to chant insults at him. He’s a billionaire due to the stock options but he categorically denies anything going on.
Here’s his future World Champion who he’ll push as a babyface until people are sick of him. He’s clean, he’s sober, he’ll work in the main event against Jeff Jarrett, and he has more than one catchphrase: Scott Hall. Scott brings Nash a wig and says he can’t follow this because the Powers That Be told him he’s gone if he has one more strike and he doesn’t want to burn bridges up north. Hall asks who picks out Vince’s clothes and thinks they’re from JC Penny. To all the boys in New York, the attitude is down here.
Hokey freaking smoke this was horrible. That’s in addition to being stupid, completely missing the point, ticking off the audience, and being the last thing they should be doing when they haven’t won a night in the ratings in a year now. The imitation wasn’t even funny, especially given that Vince is basically a walking cartoon character. How many of those jokes do they think the common fan understood? The worst part, I don’t think they care how many the fans understood, because this was just for the writers to laugh at and had nothing to do with the audience, because that’s what WCW is about these days.
Luger comes up to Meng and tells him that Jeff Jarrett is making fun of him in the back. I’m assuming this is about Liz getting attacked? Jeff has been giving out bananas because Meng likes them, so Luger gives Meng one. Meng eats the banana without peeling it. I could turn this show in as a psychology project and get an A just for finding something this insane.
Hennig isn’t going to retire anytime soon and will beat Disco tonight.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig
Curt’s dad Larry is in the crowd and hugs his son. Disco tries to get a hug as well but Curt nails him from behind and takes him inside for a nice running dropkick. Some chops put Disco on the floor where Larry gets in some shots of his own. Back in and Hennig charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a swinging neckbreaker from Disco. The offense goes nowhere but Disco blocks the PerfectPlex. Can we go back to the Larry stuff? The Chartbuster is blocked as well and Disco heads outside to talk to the yet to be named fan (ECW’s Tony Mamaluke)…..and gets counted out.
Rating: D-. And that man is a champion ladies and gentlemen. The best part of this match really was Larry Hennig getting a reaction from the crowd who remembers the days when wrestlers wrestled instead of imitating the owners of other promotions in not funny comedy bits. If there’s a reason behind this Curt gets fired if he loses bit, I’m not seeing it. Finally, there was no mention of Mamaluke being the same guy that used to be Lodi’s biggest fan.
The Filthy Animals want Torrie back and Konnan issues an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles.
Norman Smiley is wearing catching gear and dancing.
Nash is “getting into character. Get it?” It makes no more sense on screen.
Meng vs. Barbarian vs. Norman Smiley
Hardcore match. Apparently Madusa is back in the tournament because it wasn’t fair to have her fight Meng with no warning. Smiley is wearing the catcher’s gear to the ring which would eventually become football pads. The monsters fight in the corner but Meng stops to beat him up. Tony thinks this is hilarious. The former Faces of Fear double team Smiley with weapons shots until Barbarian hits Meng in the head with a mop. They do the same sequence again but with a trashcan instead of a mop.
Norman keeps trying to fight back but Meng knocks him into the corner and dropkicks Barbarian down. Meng takes off Norman’s catcher’s mask and knocks him to the floor where Jimmy Hart rips off the chest protector. Back to more double teaming of Smiley in the ring and a stretcher comes out to save Norman. However, it’s a ruse as Norman sees both guys down in the ring with Meng face first between Barbarian’s legs. Somehow that’s not a cover from Meng so Norman runs in to pin Barbarian.
Rating: D-. Oh for goodness’ sake. Somehow this match was the longest of the night at a whopping six minutes and thirty one seconds. I guess this is supposed to pass for comedy now as you have Norman go from nothing to being the hardcore idiot, which is better than what he was doing in theory. Somehow this is going to get even worse I’m sure, but just let it be shorter. Please?
Norman does the Big Wiggle on the announcers’ table.
Jeff Jarrett says it’s time for his public apology.
Jim Duggan talks to the Powers That Be and says he’s lost a kidney but he can have a bigger impact in the few years he has left than he’s had in the last twenty years. A voice (Russo) asks if Duggan is asking for an opportunity. That’s all Duggan wants, but Russo asks how that will help the ratings. He’ll think about it.
Sidebar for future reference: the only people who care about ratings are either people who work for a wrestling company or people with WAY too much time on their hands. Stop using them as a plot device, because almost no one knows or cares what the heck you’re talking about and it just sounds dumb. Wrestlers fight for championships or to settle scores, not for the ratings. Also, you lose the right to talk about ratings after that Nash skit earlier.
Hall and Nash are in the back and say if Sid gets screwed, it’s because Sid screwed Sid. Can we at least get a reference to something not almost two years ago?
Luger talks to Meng again but Meng doesn’t seem to understand.
Here’s Jeff Jarrett, who demands Luger come out here and apologize for accusing him of attacking Liz last week. Jarrett: “This isn’t the WWF and we don’t abuse women here.” Luger and Liz come out and admit that they’re not sure it was Jeff, so they’re sorry. However, Luger thinks it might have been Meng, who Jeff calls a giant ape. Cue Meng to chase Jarrett off, allowing Liz to mace Meng so Luger can beat on him with a tire iron. Couldn’t he have done this in the back? Or during the hardcore match when Meng was out cold? Too logical I’m guessing?
Sid doesn’t answer when the Outsiders knock on his door.
Luger asks Sting to team up with him to go after the Tag Team Titles.
Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero
Pole match with Torrie in a shark cage on a fork lift, wearing a dress cut lower than this show’s ratings. Eddie is on Saturn from the bell and takes him outside for a whip into the barricade. The early attempt at the key doesn’t work though as Saturn comes back in and suplexes Eddie instead. Eddie pops back up though and nails a SWEET springboard tornado DDT, but this time it’s Shane stopping the run for the key.
After a crash onto Kidman, Eddie runs back in to stop Saturn as I ask the obvious question: WHY ARE THEY CLIMBING A FREAKING POLE??? I know Russo hates wrestling but what’s up with the pole thing? Anyway Saturn superplexes Eddie down and plants him with a piledriver but drops a headbutt instead of going for the key. Eddie gets back up and sends him into the cage, where Torrie reaches through to choke Saturn. With the other Animals going holding back the Revolution, Eddie climbs the pole and (eventually since the pole is greased. Yes grease on a pole) gets the key.
Rating: D. I’m so glad we built up this story last week and blew it off with a five minute pole match instead of some big fight between the two groups to win Torrie’s freedom. Instead, Eddie climbed up the pole and got the key to the shark cage to get her off the forklift. Somehow, a week is a long build up for Russo. That sums up so many of his problems.
Torrie is freed and that’s that.
The Outsiders are in the back and “McMahon” tells Sid to trust him. Sid goes into a rant about getting screwed when he left the WWF so Nash takes off the wig and Sid starts laughing. For the far too many-th time tonight, what in the world are they talking about?
Luger is now focused on the Tag Team Title shot.
Tag Team Titles: Konnan/Kidman vs. Sting/Total Package
Sting and Luger are challenging. Tony’s horrible sense of timing continues as he says last week’s 13 second Sting vs. Knobbs “match” was about two minutes long. Package starts by posing but Sting cleans house instead. We finally settle down to Kidman vs. Luger with Lex laughing at him until a dropkick puts him down. Luger tries to get up but grabs his knee. He crawls over to Sting for a tag as Konnan comes in to clean house. It’s so bad that Mysterio and Guerrero come in for the DQ beatdown of Sting. Another angle instead of a match.
The Animals destroy Sting and beat him down with the bat. So is Sting back to being a face like he should have been all along? That might be the first thing Russo has gotten right. The Animals leave so Sting yells at Luger.
Hall says he’ll lay down for Sid tonight. Nash says he did these skits because he’s the only giant left (remember that he’s saying this to SID) and has no booking power.
Sting looks for the Animals, because somehow they’re a main event level group all of a sudden.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jeff goes after him in the aisle but the referee takes the guitar away, allowing Booker to come back with some right hands. They fight into the ring where Booker nails a spin kick and spinning forearm, only to get sent outside for some whips into steel objects. The Harris Brothers are on the stage as Jeff clotheslines Booker down and puts on a sleeper.
Booker escapes and hits his usual finishing sequence, only to have the bald guys throw in a guitar. With one of them offering a distraction, Jeff nails Booker with the guitar. Despite seeing the guitar come in, being maybe two weeks from the guitar hitting Booker in the head and DIVING OVER THE BROKEN PIECES, Robinson counts the pin.
Goldberg is on the set of Slam (the name of Ready to Rumble, even though Tenay used the name Ready To Rumble earlier in the night) and wants to kill Sid and the Outsiders.
The Nitro Girls are still fighting so Nash comes in and says save it for the pay per view.
Evan Karagias wants to be Madusa’s friend after their match tonight.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias
Madusa gropes him to start but then shoves his hat off. Evan grabs her from behind but rubs her legs. She lays down but Evan pulls her up, only to get kissed down to give Madusa the pin in another nothing angle disguised as a match.
David Flair talks to his crowbar.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko
In a cage. Malenko (who got a jobber’s entrance. IN A CAGE MATCH?) chokes him down in the corner to start but Benoit comes back with shots to the ribs and a powerbomb, sending Malenko head first into the top of the cage for a bonus. Benoit chops away and dropkicks him into the cage, only to miss another dropkick so Malenko can catapult him into the steel.
A few battering rams send Benoit head first into the cage, but he escapes a third one and plants Malenko with a tombstone in a nice counter. Chris slits his throat and goes up, only to have Malenko pop up and superplex Benoit off the top. Cue Saturn with a chain, but Benoit intercepts the pass to Malenko and knocks Dean cold (like ice man). With no real need to other than to finally wake up the crowd, Benoit goes up top and nails a HUGE Swan Dive from the top of the cage for the pin.
Rating: C+. 90% of that is for the Swan Dive alone. Thankfully they let this have some time (four and a half minutes is time in Russo World) as Benoit and Malenko could have a good match in their sleep. I’m glad to see Benoit rising above the rest of the midcard and he deserves this more than Malenko (not that he doesn’t deserve a push of his own).
Cue the Revolution to chain Benoit to the cage. Before they can get much further though, the Filthy Animals come out for the save but David Flair comes out to crowbar all of them down. Konnan tries to get out but Sting comes in to beat him down. Patience Russo, patience. I assure you it won’t hurt anything and you can get all your nonsense in every week.
David Flair leaves and gets run down by a car. Kimberly gets out and pokes him before getting back in and driving away. I think the whiplash I’m getting from these fast angles is worse than whatever is wrong with David.
Nash is down in the back and says Bret did it. Russo trope: someone being down when we didn’t see the attack.
WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall
Sid has the US Title on. They talk trash until Sid pokes him in the chest to put Hall down. Sid covers but Hall tries a small package for two. The bigger guy is ticked off and pounds Sid against the ropes before getting two off a backbreaker. Sid chokes even more as the fans want Goldberg. The cobra clutch has Hall in trouble but Hall fights back with right hands. A chokeslam drops Hall again but the referee goes down because we need to fill the quota. Bret comes out and breaks his crutch over Sid’s back, allowing Hall to cover for the pin.
Rating: D-. At least the show is over and at least this story makes something resembling sense. The fact that I can map out the story from beginning to end and (if I ignore the Vince stuff) make sense of it tells me that it’s probably the best story on the show. Now if only we can get a match to go five minutes.
Hall gets the title to end the show.
Here are the updated brackets, assuming they don’t switch things up:
Bret Hart
Perry Saturn
Norman Smiley
Kidman
Total Package
???
Meng
Sting
Chris Benoit
Madusa
Scott Hall
Lash Leroux
Buff Bagwell
Berlyn
Curt Hennig
Jeff Jarrett
Overall Rating: D-. Yet somehow, this was a step in the right direction from last week. They cut down on some of the stupid stuff, but at the same time cranked up some of the other problems. The Vince McMahon stuff wasn’t funny, didn’t lead anywhere and seemed to be there to make Russo laugh. That MIGHT have gone over better today since Vince has basically turned into an insane man from time to time, but this was just one big inside joke that got TV time.
The wrestling sucked tonight but that goes without saying on a Russo show. This tournament is a mess, but next week will only (in theory at least) have half the matches of the first two weeks. Multiple tournament matches were turned into gimmick matches, because apparently I’ll care about Stevie Ray vs. Bagwell in a strap match.
At least there are a few stories taking shape, even if they’re not very good. Unfortunately for every Revolution vs. Filthy Animals, there’s a Buff Bagwell REAL LIFE story. These “shoot” stories are getting old fast but Russo seems to think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread (that would be sliced bread #1 in case that’s not clear). Horrible show this week and I see no reason to keep coming back, especially with two weeks before Mayhem.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVI: Viva El Shawn
Wrestlemania XXVI Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
Here’s a pretty different show from last year. This is a double main event with a Taker vs. Shawn II and Cena vs. Batista II, the latter one being for the Raw Title. Other than that we have Jericho vs. Edge for the Smackdown Title and….uh….wait why would you need anything more than that? It’s Cena vs. Batista for the World Title at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Fantasia, I believe from American Idol, sings America the Beautiful. This is one of those renditions where she basically screams the song but it’s called soulful or something like that.
The opening video is about how several long careers have led here. Bret Hart is also back tonight in a match with Vince McMahon. This is one of the first times where there was a big push on the idea of making a Wrestlemania moment.
The theme song is I Made It by Kevin Rudolf. This one really grew on me over the years.
Tag Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison
That would be Big Show and Miz as champions. If there’s one thing I’m glad we’ve moved passed, it’s portmanteau tag team names. Miz is also US Champion and the tag titles are still represented by all four belts. John and Miz start things off and there’s a fast dropkick for two by Morrison. Off to Truth for a guillotine legdrop for two more.
A big left hand misses for Miz and a side kick takes him down. Off to Big Show and Truth can’t do much against him, other than be caught in a fallaway slam. After Show knocks Morrison off the apron, John breaks up a Vader Bomb to put Show down. Off to Miz vs. Morrison again and a running knee takes Miz down. Starship Pain misses though and Show rams Truth into the post. John counters the Skull Crushing Finale into a rollup for two but Show makes a blind tag and knocks Morrison silly with the WMD to retain.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t even three and a half minutes long so what else do you expect here? To be fair, Awesome Truth was thrown together and won the title shot in the same night so there wasn’t much of a reason for these teams to be fighting. The champions would lose the title in a month while the challengers would never really do anything.
We look at WWE taking over Phoenix.
Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase
This is the final blowoff to the never ending Legacy story, with the young pups being mentored by Orton until the crowd turned Orton face by sheer willpower. This is his chance for revenge and to bury the feud once and for all. The place goes NUTS for Orton. Oh and before I forget: the set here is AWESOME as it’s set up like a big pyramid with video screens on all sides.
Orton fights them both off to start before bailing to the floor. This is a glorified handicap match in the early going. Orton gets Rhodes down on the floor and stomps away on DiBiase back inside. Cody gets back in though and the two on one beating is on, drawing really solid heat. Lawler says these stomps are like the ones Orton uses. Uh, yeah King. I can clearly see the similarities in kicking somebody.
Rhodes pounds away while Ted holds Randy back and there’s a double suplex. DiBiase does Orton’s pose which makes Randy punch Cody down, only to be clotheslined by Ted. Legacy goes High/Low on Orton and there’s a knee drop from Cody. Cody loads up the moonsault but has to stop to break up a pin attempt by DiBiase. Ted is sent to the floor and Cody gets two off an Alabama Slam.
Legacy goes at it and brawls to the floor and Orton gets back into things. He takes both guys down with his usual finishing sequence but DiBiase breaks up the RKO on Rhodes. Cody tries a dive but Orton sidesteps it, sending Rhodes into DiBiase. They come back in and walk into a double Elevated DDT, sending Orton into “that place.” With DiBiase watching, Orton Punts Rhodes and then counters Dream Street into the RKO for the pin on Ted.
Rating: C. The fans loved Orton but that’s about all they’ve got here. Legacy just lost a glorified handicap match in less than ten minutes as Orton never even seemed to be in danger. This would start a MEGA push for Orton as he would become the second biggest face in the company and spend the rest of the year chasing the world title. The pop for the RKO was really good here.
The heel Divas in the ten Diva tag later brag about how Vickie is going to win in her Wrestlemania debut. Jillian Hall, not on the team, pops in to sing. The other girls leave and here’s Santino to plug Slim Jims. He bites one and Jillian turns into Mae Young. Another turns Mae into Gene Okerlund in a strapless dress. A third bite makes Okerlund into Melina. No more bites. Ok then.
Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian
Kane has a BIG black eye for reasons never explained. Remember when I said eight man matches were too busy? Well here’s a TEN man version. It’s a big brawl to start until MVP throws in the first ladder. Drew tries to go up but gets shoved over by Matt. MVP hits a big running boot to knock Drew to the floor. Nine people fight for two sides of a ladder to climb but Kane cleans house and sends about five guys to the floor.
Christian and Matt go up but Kofi (in the rare white trunks) makes the save. Ziggler hits a kind of Zig Zag off the ladder to Christian but Kane and MVP get back inside. Things are already really congested here. Kane is put into the corner and has a ladder rammed into his ribs. Kofi stumbles up the ladder and falls onto the steel. Shelton comes in with Paydirt to MVP and loads up the big ladder, only to be stabbed with a ladder by Swagger. Jack winds up inside the ladder and gets speared from either side with the tops of ladders between the rungs of the big ladder by Christian and Matt.
Now the ladders Matt and Christian used are bridged across the top rope like a big cross kind of thing. Matt and Christian climb up while Bourne climbs up the side of the ladder. The ladder Matt is standing on falls out and Bourne kicks Christian down, but instead of GETTING THE CASE, Evan hits the Shooting Star on Christian. Now Matt stops Bourne but Swagger comes up and throws Matt onto the other bridged ladder, leaving everyone down.
MVP and Shelton go up but a rana by Benjamin send both guys out to the floor. Kane is the first person back inside but Ziggler makes the stop. He actually climbs over Kane but the big man shoves the ladder over to make the stop. A chokeslam onto the ladder has Dolph in trouble, much like Kane actually slamming the ladder onto Ziggler so hard he BREAKS THE LADDER. In the creative spot of the night, Kofi picks up the two broken pieces and walks on the like stilts.
McIntyre finally makes the save and brings the big ladder back inside. Hardy finally makes the save by shoving Drew off the ladder and onto the top rope for a big crotching. Matt is alone but can’t quite pull the thing down. Christian and Kane join him on top and it’s the big bald being shoved down. Christian hits the reverse DDT (called the Twist of Fate by that schnook Cole) and here’s Swagger back inside. It’s Swagger and Christian on top and a case to the head allows Swagger to (FINALLY as it takes forever) pull down the case to win.
Rating: B-. C+. WAY too many people in there which led to way too much laying around. It’s not a terrible match or anything, but these are getting weaker and weaker as they keep going. Kofi’s stilts spot was great but other than that there’s nothing to see here. We’ve seen these same spots so many times now and they’re getting repetitive, making them weaker every time.
We get the Hall of Fame video from last night.
Here’s the live presentation to the crowd. The class this year is: Stu Hart (represented by his kids), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker, Gorgeous George (represented by his wife) and Ted DiBiase (BIG ovation).
We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. Sheamus was the next big thing in late 2009 and won the WWE Title. HHH beat him inside the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus revealed that he had always wanted to be like HHH. This led to Sheamus attacking HHH over and over again, setting up the obvious match.
HHH vs. Sheamus
I forgot to mention this big cylinder that hangs from the middle of the roof with a mini Tron video for whomever is coming out. They shove each other into the corner until HHH slugs Sheamus down into another corner. Back up and they pound away on each other with HHH taking over with a knee drop. They head to the floor for nothing of note so it’s back inside for a chop block and the Figure Four to Sheamus.
After quickly grabbing a rope, Sheamus comes back with more brawling stuff and sends HHH to the floor for a bit. The move which would become known as the Irish Curse hits and there’s a second one for good measure. We get into the standard pounding down in the corner by Sheamus followed by an ax handle to the head for two. Sheamus drops some elbows and puts on a quick chinlock before a powerslam gets two.
We hit an armbar of all things on the Game which shows off how different the skin tones of these guys are. HHH comes back with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and a DDT for the same. Back up and the high knee sets up the facebuster for two but the Pedigree is countered with a leg trip. They fight to the corner but Sheamus slips between the legs to try the High Cross, only to be countered into the Pedigree. That gets countered as well and the yet to be named Brogue Kick gets two.
Back up again and HHH hits the spinebuster for two and both guys are down again. Sheamus staggers to the apron and manages a Brogue Kick from there but can’t cover. Back in and HHH grabs the Pedigree out of absolutely NOWHERE for the quick pin. That would be Sheamus’ first singles loss.
Rating: C+. Not bad at all here with Sheamus looking more than good in his first Wrestlemania match. This was a good way to make the pale one look good and the win over HHH the next month at Extreme Rules would make that even better. Sheamus was definitely here to stay which would become very clear in the near future.
We recap Punk vs. Mysterio. Mysterio had cost Punk an MITB spot so Punk had set his sights on Mysterio in retaliation. Punk has been stalking Rey and his family for weeks now, leading up to Punk interrupting Rey’s daughter’s 9th birthday by singing Happy Birthday to her. Punk made Mysterio look like a coward because Rey didn’t want to fight with his family in the ring with him. This led to the match and the stipulation that if Rey loses, he has to join the Straightedge Society.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Punk has Serena and Luke Gallows (Doc from Aces and 8’s) with him. On the way to the ring, Punk gets on the crowd for being high on drugs which makes them think Mysterio is a superhero. Punk isn’t a monster but rather a savior who can lead everyone to a better place. After tonight, it will be one nation under Punk with sobriety for all. This year Mysterio is dressed like the aliens from Avatar which is rather different to put it mildly.
A Gallows distraction lets Punk take over but he gets sent face first into the middle buckl. Rey misses a charge and gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some solid stomping. A baseball slide misses Rey though and we get the Mr. Perfect sliding crotch into the post. Rey tries a rolling cradle to the floor but gets dropped face first onto the steps instead. We head back inside and it’s off to a chinlock by the guy whose face you can actually see.
Rey fights up but gets sent to the apron for a seated senton. A springboard seated senton is caught into a belly to belly and another counter into a rollup gets two. Punk counters a rana by flipping Rey onto his feet and hits the high kick for two. They grab a test of strength grip and Rey climbs the ropes and moonsaults into a DDT for two in a cool spot.
The 619 is caught into a GTS attempt but Rey escapes to the apron. A kick to Punk’s head looks to set up the frog splash but it only gets mat. That gets two for Punk but Rey headscissors him into 619 position. Serena makes the save but a second attempt connects and it’s a springboard splash for the pin for Rey.
Rating: C. Not much to see here but it wasn’t bad. These two would go on for months and the matches really did get to be solid stuff. Mysterio was always good for stuff like this and Punk as the straightedge messiah was always a cool gimmick. This really could have used another five minutes or so too.
We recap Bret vs. Vince. Do you REALLY need an explanation for this one? Bret returned back in January and Vince kicked him low. Bret wanted a fight and pretended to break his leg in order to get Vince to fight him at Wrestlemania. Vince signed, Bret took the cast off, and the match was made.
Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon
Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.
Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.
Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.
Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.
We’re going to Atlanta for Wrestlemania 27. Cole says there’s going to be a great guest host for it. I know he couldn’t know that at the time, but man that’s some AWESOME unintentional foreshadowing.
There’s a new attendance record: 72,219. Wait it might not be a record. Why would this make a difference? Either way it gets a fireworks display, which doesn’t look great given that it’s still daylight.
We recap Edge vs. Jericho. They had been tag champions but Edge snapped an Achilles tendon and had to drop his share. Edge came back to win the Rumble and gets a title shot tonight. The idea was that Edge was obsessed with spearing Jericho which didn’t really work all that well. He did it over and over again until Jericho actually hit him during the charge. Why that was so hard beforehand I’m not sure.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho grabs a quick headlock to take Edge down but the challenger comes back with a flying shoulder. A flapjack puts Jericho down but he bails to avoid a spear. Back in and Jericho gets in a boot to the face and a baseball slide sends Edge out to the floor. A belly to back suplex gets two in the ring for Jericho and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and Jericho misses a charge into the post and Edge is to his feet again.
Jericho drops Edge ribs first onto the top rope and we head to the floor again. Edge comes back with a clothesline off the apron and we go back inside. Jericho crotches Edge as he goes up but Edge blocks a superplex. Back on the mat and Jericho can’t get the Walls but Edge can hit a top rope cross body, only to have Jericho roll through it for two. Another Walls attempt is broken up but Jericho kicks him in the face to put Edge down again.
The Codebreaker is countered but Jericho jumps over the spear into a cradle into the Walls in the middle of the ring. Edge rolls through that and hooks a small package for two but Jericho kicks him right back down. The Lionsault misses and Edge gets two off the Edge-O-Matic. An enziguri gets two for the champion and what I think was a forearm smash to the back of Edge’s head off the middle rope puts Edge down again. Jericho tries a spear of his own, only to charge into a big boot.
The real spear charges into a Codebreaker in an AWESOME counter. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two so Jericho goes after the recently repaired ankle. Now the Walls are put on again but Jericho shifts it over to a half crab which is the smart move here. Edge FINALLY makes a rope and even gets a rollup for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and as they head back in we lose the referee, allowing Jericho to hit Edge in the head with the belt for two. Not that it matters as the Codebreaker retains the title a few seconds later.
Rating: B. Much like Mysterio vs. Punk, this really could have been something special with more time. Jericho winning was a big surprise here but it’s one of those things that I can more than live with after this very solid match. Edge not winning was a nice thing to see as it doesn’t just hand him another world title. Yeah imagine that: making people earn world titles. Swagger would cash in on Jericho on Smackdown two days later.
Post match Jericho tries to go after the ankle even more but Edge fights back and puts Jericho on the announce table. With a running start, Edge runs over two announce tables and spears Jericho off the table and through the barricade.
We look at the dark match battle royal, won by Yoshi Tatsu.
Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim
Beth is in white here and man alive it REALLY works for her. She’s also a face here which is really rare. Vickie and Gail start with Kim getting shoved backwards. Vickie poses and when she turns around, it’s Beth. All the good girls take their turns on Vickie in the corner so she shouts at them. Michelle breaks up a pin by Kelly and we already begin the parade of finishers (Gail totally botches Eat Defeat), culminating with Beth ENDING Fox with the Glam Slam. Michelle saves Vickie from Beth with a big boot before putting Vickie on the top rope. The “Hog Splash” is enough to pin Kelly.
Rating: D. Laycool and Beth looked GREAT out there so it doesn’t fail for them. No one else was in there long enough to make much of an impression, but again it’s amazing how much better the Divas are at this point. They have personalities and actual emotions instead of just staring at cue cards and botching everything they do.
We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena survived the Chamber and won the title, but Vince pulled a New Year’s Revolution and made him immediately defend against Batista, which was payment for Big Dave helping out Vince recently. The result was a rematch for the title here at Wrestlemania. Do you need more than that?
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista
This is a rematch from Summerslam 2008. Cena’s big entrance this year is a full military honor guard. They lock up to start with the champion grabbing a quick headlock. John grabs one of his own and takes it down to the mat. That goes nowhere so Cena tries pounding away in the corner, only to have Batista clothesline him down. A running boot to the side of Cena’s head has him in more trouble and there’s a second for good measure.
The idea here is that Batista is going after Cena’s neck which he broke back in 2008. Cena comes back with a suplex and the bulldog for two but the AA is countered into a fast DDT for two. Off to a rear naked choke by Batista to crank on the neck even more. John fights up and they slug it out for the boo/yay chants. A quick neckbreaker gets two for the champion and it’s off to a front facelock on Cena.
A backdrop finally puts Batista down and there are the shoulder blocks to keep him down. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Batista pops up with his spinebuster to plant Cena. The Batista Bomb is countered into the STF though and Batista is in trouble. He finally makes the rope and comes back with a spear for two before sitting Cena on the top. In a cool spot they have a test of strength on the top with Cena slugging Batista down to the mat. Cena busts out a top rope Shuffle but Batista grabs the rope to block the AA.
There’s the Batista Bomb out of nowhere but Cena is up at two. Batista loads up another but after a series of counters, Cena this a BIG release AA for two. Cena goes up top and dives right into a spinebuster which is the same move that resulted in his broken neck a year and a half ago. The Batista Bomb is countered into the STF though and after a long time, Batista taps away the title.
Rating: B+. These two know how to have the big time match. Cena winning was the right move to get his win back from a year and a half ago while also taking out Batista for what happened back in February. At the end of the day, it’s John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. This had to be good by definition.
We recap Shawn vs. Taker. They had their masterpiece last year and Shawn became obsessed with beating Taker because he made one mistake. Shawn wanted a rematch and after superkicking Taker and costing him the world title in the Chamber, Taker said yes. There was a condition though: it was Streak vs. Career. Shawn said if he can’t win, there’s no reason for him to stay in the ring. There was no way this couldn’t main event the show, and with the match we just got done with, that says a lot.
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
You can only win by pin or submission. They stare each other down and Shawn does the throat slit. Taker charges into some chops in the corner but Shawn is thrown into a Flair Flip in the corner, followed by snake eyes and the big boot. Old School is broken up a few times but the third try hits perfectly. The chokeslam is countered and Shawn goes after the leg. A quick Tombstone attempt is blocked and Shawn tries for the Crossface, only to be grabbed by the throat.
Taker grabs the arm as well but has to back away from Sweet Chin Music. Now Shawn is going after the knee and Taker is in trouble. Michaels goes for some stomps in the corner but the big man gets in an uppercut to send Shawn to the floor. Taker loads up the Dive but Shawn slides back in for a chop block. They head to the floor for Undertaker to take over with the apron legdrop. It hurts his leg again though and the big man can’t follow up.
Back in and Shawn takes out the leg again and there’s a Figure Four. Taker sits up and has them there crazy eyes…but can’t break up the hold. Scratch that as he can with pure power and Shawn lets it go. They slug it out on their feet again with Taker taking over with the strikes. Shawn comes back with the forearm and there’s the nipup. Unfortunately he walks into the chokeslam for a close two. Shawn busts out an ankle lock of all things and the grapevine is added as well.
Undertaker gets on his back and punches his way out of it but Shawn sends him to the floor. There’s a springboard cross body but Taker counters into a Tombstone on the floor. Shawn flailing to escape and then stopping cold was perfect. Back in and that somehow only gets two so Taker tries the Last Ride. The leg gives out again and Shawn counters into a kind of X-Factor for two. The big elbow hits knees, but that hurt Taker just as much as it hurt Shawn.
Michaels gets caught in Hell’s Gate but he flips forward into a rollup for two, making Undertaker break the hold. Back up again and there’s the superkick out of nowhere for two. Now Shawn tunes up the band but Taker catches it coming in and hits a full on Last Ride for two. Undertaker throws him to the floor and loads up the announce table. The Last Ride through the table is escaped and there’s a superkick to put Taker on the table. Shawn busts out a moonsault but mainly hits Taker’s legs. It would have looked great from a distance though.
Back in again and the superkick hits perfect but somehow only gets two. The fans are calling this awesome and I can’t say I’m arguing at all. Another superkick misses and there’s a big chokeslam. Taker can’t follow up though….until he plants Shawn with a Tombstone. THAT gets two and Taker is shocked. The Dead Man pulls the straps down but stops himself before doing the throat slit. Shawn pulls himself up on Taker’s body and does the throat slit himself, admitting that he can’t do it. Taker stares at him so Shawn slaps Taker in the face. That does it and it’s a jumping Tombstone to end Shawn’s career.
Rating: A+. That throat slit is as close to Shakespeare as WWE is ever going to get. Shawn going out in a masterpiece like this was as good as it was going to get and Undertaker gets to have another great match on his resume. Shawn has actually stayed retired which is the right move, because he’s not going to top this with one more match. It’s excellent even though it’s somehow a step below last year’s match.
Undertaker isn’t sure what to do now as the lights go out and 18-0 flashes on screen. Shawn still hasn’t moved. Taker helps Shawn up and they shake hands to a big ovation. Undertaker lets Shawn stand in the ring alone and soak up one last round of applause. Shawn slowly walks up the aisle and slaps hands. Shawn: “I’m going to drive my kids crazy in three weeks.” He walks to the back to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. This was a very solid show for the most part with an excellent main event. On top of that you only have one bad match and that had Beth looking all hot in white. Other than that you have Batista vs. Cena and a good Edge vs. Jericho match. The rest of the card isn’t bad either, making this the third straight pretty solid Wrestlemania.
Ratings Comparison
Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz
Original: D
Redo: D+
Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Original: D+
Redo: C
Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne
Original: B
Redo: C+
HHH vs. Sheamus
Original: B-
Redo: C+
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: B-
Redo: C
Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart
Original: A+
Redo: A+
Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Original: A-
Redo: B
Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse
Original: F
Redo: D
John Cena vs. Batista
Original: A
Redo: B+
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A+
Redo: A+
Overall Rating
Original: A
Redo: B+
Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.
He officially announced this on Sportscenter. No word on how long the contract is for but he’s sticking with WWE.
I can’t say I blame him. As he said, what else does he have to prove in MMA? He was the undisputed World Champion and retired with a winning record. WWE is easier on him and he makes good money. What’s not to like?
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXV: They Really Did This
Wrestlemania XXV Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
After last year’s great show, we get….this. Wrestlemania 25 is often listed alongside the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. I watched it live and thought it sucked other than the candidate for best match ever in the middle of it. This is one of the ones that I wasn’t looking forward to but I have to be tortured for this job. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of people being asked what the biggest moment in Wrestlemania history is over the first 25 years (let me get this out of the way: IT WAS TWENTY FOUR AT THAT TIME. This drove me CRAZY at the time because the show was built up as the 25th anniversary of the show, but that isn’t how things work. Think about it: when you get married, the day a year later is your first anniversary, meaning that Wrestlemania 2 would be the first anniversary, Wrestlemania 3 is your second anniversary and so on to Wrestlemania 25 being the TWENTY FOURTH ANNIVERARY, NOT THE TWENTY FIFTH!).
Anyway the answers are exactly what you would expect: ladder match, Hogan slamming Andre, Hogan vs. Warrior etc. This leads to a video of people saying they’re making the top moment tonight.
Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.
MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane
MITB here. Henry has Tony Atlas with him, MVP is the face US Champion and Kofi is still Jamaican. BIG pop for Christian here. It’s a big brawl to start as the fans are solidly behind Christian here. Christian and Shelton run over Henry with the big ladder but Kofi jumps over it and takes both guys down. There’s a Boom Drop onto the ladder onto both guys. The ladder is set up in the ring but here’s Kane to beat everyone up.
Henry and Kane go up the ladder but everyone bands together to pull them down. The monsters are both sent to the floor and a second regular sized ladder is set up. A bunch of people go up but Kane and Henry shove everyone down. Kane kicks Henry down and loads up the big ladder again. Henry breaks up that attempt but opts to throw the ladder at Finlay instead of climbing.
Finlay dives through the ropes at Kane and Shelton so Christian can dive onto Finlay and Kane to take them out. MVP dives on all three of them and Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives to take out all four guys. Shelton climbs onto the huge ladder and DIVES onto all five guys, looking like he landed on his head at first look. Now HENRY goes up top but Finlay breaks it up to prevent an earthquake.
Horny slides in his own ladder to climb onto Henry’s back and dive onto all six guys on the floor. Finlay is the only guy standing and throws in a big ladder, but he had to fight Kofi. Kofi dives THROUGH the ladder and drops it onto Finlay for good measure. Finlay drops him with the Horny ladder and does the same to Christian and Kane. The Irishman tries to go up but Kofi kicks him down.
Kingston tries for a climb but Henry is back again and shoves down the ladder. In an AWESOME spot, Henry holds the ladder to set it in place and Kofi runs up, only to be dropped down and hit with a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP slides a ladder into the standing one to make a kind of platform. Shelton slides under the ladder and kicks MVP in the ribs. MVP comes back with a kind of powerbomb on Benjamin but Punk stops the climb.
Now it’s Christian and Punk with Punk on the ladder and Christian on the platform. Now they’re both on the same side of the ladder and Christian hits the Killswitch off the ladder. By hits I mean Christian drops him in midair and Punk’s head never came within three feet of the mat but you do what you can I guess. MVP climbs up but Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor to get to the platform to get to the ladder for a sunset bomb to MVP. By sunset bomb, I mean he doesn’t get MVP over and basically pulls MVP’s face down the ladder. That’s two big blown spots in a row.
MVP is up first and pounds on Shelton before being powerbombed over the top rope and down onto a few guys. His head looked to smack against the barricade in a scary spot. Shelton and Finlay are on the ladder now and Finlay is knocked onto the ladder platform. Christian takes Shelton down and pounds away until Shelton takes the platform apart.
Shelton and Christian are both standing on two ladders but Christian shoves Shelton to the floor. Punk however springboards onto the ladders but gets caught upside down in a ladder, which is what Punk did to Christian to win last year. Kane stops Christian and chokeshoves him down to the mat. Punk pops up and kicks Kane down to win his second straight MITB.
Rating: B-. The blown spots REALLY bring this down because they were some terribly blown spots. Punk winning is fine as it was eventually the catalyst for his heel turn but that wouldn’t be for about six months. The match was good and having some fresh blood with Kofi out there helped, but the match overall was a letdown compared to other years, as the problem becomes “how do you top the other stuff?”. Still good though.
Video on WWE taking over Houston for the week.
Now we get to the part of this show which makes fans’ heads hurt: a TWELVE MINUTE Kid Rock song medley. Keep in mind that a unification match for the two sets of tag titles was on the preshow and ran about 9 minutes. THAT can’t make Wrestlemania but this nonsense can. This is to set up the Miss Wrestlemania battle royal.
Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal
Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson
The medley contains the entrances for all 25 girls, none of whom get entrances or even introductions, so the fans have no idea who all is in this thing for the most part. Justin Roberts is reading the rules and people are already being eliminated. Not that we’re told WHO THEY ARE or anything but whatever. Oh and you can go through the ropes too. Cole: “You can get a look at all the entrants in this on WWE.com!” Yeah, that’s the only way to see them because KID ROCK had to eat up all their time.
Sunny, Torrie, Layla and Rosa are out for sure but the rest of them aren’t even mentioned. Gail and Jillian eliminate each other as Beth eliminates Tiffany and some other chick not mentioned. Molly and Kelly are put out as is Maryse. Beth dumps both Bellas and the only Divas left are Michelle, Mickie, Melina and Beth. Mickie and Michelle eliminate each other but Santina eliminates the other two. It’s Santino in drag if that wasn’t clear. Yeah, THIS is your payoff for bringing back all those famous chicks. This led to months of STUPID jokes and skits about them being brother and sister or something. No rating but this was awful.
Beth is ticked off, which led to months of stupid fights between the two of them. Santina dances post match.
We recap Jericho vs. Piper/Snuka/Steamboat which is built around the Mickey Rourke movie The Wrestler. The idea is that Jericho insulted Rourke and the movie because it’s not the same as getting in the ring. Rourke said he’d fight at Mania then backpedaled. We then had Jericho insult Snuka, Piper and Steamboat for sticking around too long. Flair was insulted as well but since Flair can’t wrestle anymore, Jericho beat up and challenged the other legends to a match here tonight.
Rourke is at ringside.
Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat
Flair is here to support his fellow old people. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s somewhere between smashed and alcohol poisoning. Jericho has to beat all three legends to win so he starts with Piper. Roddy looks bad but considering less than two years earlier he was diagnosed with lymphoma, this is pretty impressive.
Piper fires away to start and takes it to the mat before hooking a quick sunset flip for two. A kind of dropkick puts Chris down and Roddy pounds away in the corner. Jimmy comes in and the match turns into slow motion. To be fair he’s about 65 here. Ricky comes in and starts cranking on the arm as you would expect him to. Back to Jimmy for a double chop although only Ricky’s actually hits. Out of nowhere Jericho puts on the Walls for the elimination.
Piper comes back in and works over the ribs before throwing on the sleeper. It only lasts for a few seconds though before Jericho rams him into the top rope and gets the elimination via a running enziguri. This leaves Steamboat vs. Jericho with the Dragon coming in with the top rope cross body for a VERY close near fall. A snapmare puts Ricky down and jericho kicks him in the back before putting on a chinlock. In the STUPID part of the show, Jericho throws Steamboat over the ropes for him to skin the cat, but LET’S LOOK AT FLAIR INSTEAD!
Jericho gets backdropped over the top to the floor and IT’S A FLYING OLD MAN to take Jericho down again. Back in and a top rope chop has Jericho reeling. Steamboat jumps over Chris out of the corner and gets a rollup for two. Jericho finally hits the bulldog but the Lionsault misses. Ricky grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two but gets caught in the Walls. Steamboat reverses THAT into a small package for the hottest two count you’ll see in years. If that’s not enough, Steamboat backflips out of a belly to back suplex, only to walk into the Codebreaker to let Jericho survive.
Rating: B-. WOW Steamboat had me going here and I knew what the ending was. Steamboat was 56 years old here and hadn’t wrestled regularly in FIFTEEN YEARS and just had the crowd actually believing he could beat Jericho five months after he lost the world title. That’s ASTONISHING and would lead to a one on one match between these two at Backlash. Snuka and Piper were there for one last hurrah but Steamboat was trying to steal the show and came pretty freaking close. This is a great example of a match with NO reason to be good which wound up being pretty sweet.
Post match Flair comes in but gets beaten down too. Jericho taunts Rourke (a real life former pro boxer) and gets punched out. This somehow took five minutes.
We recap Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. The idea is that stuff had started happening to Jeff such as pyro nearly blinding him, someone trying to run him off the road, and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN. At Royal Rumble, Matt revealed that it was him behind it because he was jealous of Jeff’s success. Naturally, no charges were ever filed or anything like that, because why do that when you can have an extreme rules match here instead?
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Matt now has regular tights instead of the cargo jeans. Jeff takes him down and pounds away to start before heading to the floor. A hard poster to the head doesn’t do much to Matt, presumably BECAUSE IT WAS A POSTER. The steps work a bit better and there’s Poetry in Motion against the barricade to crush Matt. Back in and Poetry in Motion hits the corner instead of Matt and the Whisper in the Wind only hits chair.
Matt chokes away on the ropes and punches away at Jeff’s head. The Side Effect onto a chair gets two so Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but Jeff fights off a suplex through said table and hits a running clothesline off the apron. Jeff busts out a kendo stick and a crutch to beat on Matt’s back before putting a trashcan over Matt’s head for the slingshot dropkick for two.
There goes Jeff’s shirt but the Swanton completely misses. The Twist of Fate gets two for Matt and he’s getting frustrated. Matt calls for a Swanton but gets caught in a superplex instead for no cover. There’s a BIG chair shot to Matt’s head which sends him to the floor. Jeff lays Matt on the table before putting another table on top of that table. There’s a HUGE splash through both tables along with Matt to leave everyone laying.
Back in and that only gets two, and now it’s time for the ladders required by a Hardys match. A legdrop keeps Matt down and the ladder is set up. Make that two ladders with one being bigger than the other. Jeff climbs the small ladder and jumps over the tall ladder, only to miss his big legdrop. Matt puts Jeff’s neck in the chair for a Twist of Fate to finally end this.
Rating: B. This was a solid brawl but it would all go downhill from here. Their feud didn’t ever quite work for the most part because the audience wasn’t all that interested and Matt didn’t work as a top heel. As for this match though, they beat the tar out of each other and Matt looked violent and evil. Unfortunately he couldn’t back that up for the most part.
Orton is ready for the main event.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Rey is challenging. JBL goes on a rant about how much Texas sucks and how they’ve lost their backbone. After this match is over, JBL is bailing on Texas and heading back to New York where he loves to be. Rey is the Joker from Dark Knight this year. They actually do big match intros here which isn’t something you see for a midcard title match. The referee reads them the rules and JBL kicks Rey in the head. Now the bell rings and Rey hits an enziguri, the 619 and a top rope splash for the pin and the title in about 20 seconds.
Post match JBL says he quits, which is his actual retirement as he’s never wrestled since.
We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn freed himself from JBL at No Way Out and realized he needed a new challenge. What better for Mr. Wrestlemania to do than challenge the Streak? Shawn read passages from the Bible about separating light from darkness to show the differences between the two of them. Do you need more of a buildup than that?
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn comes down from the top of the set all in white, Undertaker comes through the stage in black. Now THAT is an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Shawn circling around Taker and sticking with a few jabs here and there. Michaels pounds away in the corner and hits a hard chop but taker catches an incoming right hand. Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner and nearly out to the floor, only for Shawn to jump off the top and over Undertaker to get away.
Shawn might have hurt his knee but he’s channeling his inner Bret by goldbricking. Taker will have none of that and throws Shawn into the corner for more punishment. Michaels comes back with chops in the corner but gets backdropped down to stop the momentum. Taker drives some shoulder into Shawn but Shawn takes him down with a clothesline. The reverse Figure Four (called a regular one by that idiot Michael Cole) has Taker in trouble but he finally slugs his way out of it.
Taker pounds way in the corner but has to stop to shake life back into his leg. Snake eyes and the big boot put Shawn down and a legdrop gets two (brother). A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface by Shawn but Taker rolls over onto his side to block a lot of the pressure. After an attempted rollup by Undertaker, Shawn cranks on the hold a bit more, only to have Taker fight up and hit a big side slam for two. Back up and they slug it out with Shawn taking over via a flying forearm.
There’s the nipup but Shawn doesn’t tune up the band. Instead it’s a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline but as Shawn goes up, he jumps into the chokeslam. He escapes THAT and tries the superkick but is too far away, meaning the kick only hits Taker’s chest. It puts Taker down so Shawn tries the Figure Four but Taker counters into Hell’s Gate. Shawn flails around and gets a foot on the rope for a fast break but he’s clearly staggered.
We head to the floor for a bit but Taker misses the apron legdrop. A baseball slide keeps Taker on the floor but as Shawn tries the moonsault to the floor, Taker moves and Shawn CRASHES onto the concrete. Back inside and Taker sits up and busts out the Taker Dive, only to overrotate and CRASH in a terrifying landing. Shawn thankfully pulled a cameraman in the way to block some of the impact but this scared me to death live.
Shawn tells the referee to count in a kind of mid-match heel turn but Taker makes it back in at nine. Another superkick attempt is ducked and a HUGE chokeslam gets an insanely close two. The fans are getting way into these near falls now. The Tombstone is countered, the superkick is blocked, the chokeslam is escaped and NOW the superkick hits for a very delayed two count. Shawn is up now and looks all ticked off.
Taker grabs him by the throat but the Last Ride is countered into a sunset flip bid, but THAT is countered into the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Watching this match for probably the fourth time I actually thought that was the finish. Think about that for a minute. Taker goes up top and misses a top rope elbow but as Shawn tries to skin the cat, Undertaker catches him in the Tombstone. He sticks the tongue out but THAT gets two, I believe making Shawn either the first or second guy ever to kick out of all three of Taker’s finishers.
Taker nearly collapses from the shock and has a look on his face saying he has no idea where to go now. Shawn spins out of a Tombstone bid into a DDT and both guys are down. Michaels slowly crawls to the top and drops the elbow for no cover. Instead he tunes up the band again and the fans are all over him as a result. The kick hits clean and Shawn covers almost immediately but it only gets two. These kickouts are getting better and better each time.
They fight up from their knees and use each other to pull themselves up before slugging it out with everything they’ve got. A big boot puts Shawn down but Taker charges into a boot in the corner to put him down. Shawn climbs up top and tries a moonsault press, but Taker somehow catches him in mid air for another Tombstone to make him 16-0, and that’s your match of the year.
Rating: A+. Masterpiece, excellent, classic, best match they’ve ever had, best match of all time candidate etc. Pick one, as they’re all appropriate. This is one of the only matches ever where I’ve been on the edge of my seat the entire time and lost my mind on the kickouts. Absolutely outstanding here and one of the best matches I’ve ever seen, and that covers quite a bit of ground.
Now what gets to follow that?
We recap Edge vs. Big Show vs. Cena for the Raw Title. Edge switched brands at No Way Out after losing the WWE Title and won the World Title in the other Chamber match, because the titles are interchangeable props which you can pass around like this for no apparent reason. Edge’s wife Vickie was blackmailed into putting Cena into a triple threat match because Cena had video of Show and Vickie having an affair. This is basically a glorified handicap match.
Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena
Edge is defending and Vickie is STILL in the wheelchair. Cena’s big entrance this year: an army of probably 60 guys dressed in Cena gear make a tunnel for the real Cena to run through, complete with the old Word Life theme song. Cena fights off both guys but the numbers catch up with him, allowing the heels to take him down. Edge is knocked to the floor and it’s back to Cena who gets beaten down by the monster.
Show goes outside to get Edge but the champion dropkicks the steps into Show’s knees, allowing Cena to hit the top rope Fameasser to drive Show’s face into the floor. Back in and Cena tries a quick AA, only to be countered into the Edgecution for two. Show comes back in with a side slam for two on John but Cena comes back with right hands. When those don’t do much he tries to hit the ropes but Vickie’s nephew Chavo pulls him to the floor. That earns him an AA and we head back inside where John knocks Show into the ropes to tie him up. Show: “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”
Cena beats down Edge and now has a free shot at Big Show. Instead he hits the Shuffle on Edge which is actually pretty smart when you think about it. Here comes the AA but Vickie gets on the apron. Cena drops Edge but avoids a spear, sending Edge into Vickie. The distraction lets Cena roll Edge up for two but a collision puts both guys down. Show gets loose and beats up both other guys including hitting a splash to both guys in the same corner.
Cena escapes a double chokeslam but can’t get the AA. Instead Show hits him with the WMD but instead of, I don’t know, COVERING, he goes to the floor after Edge. Edge counters a chokeslam into a DDT on the floor and all three guys are down. The champion crawls over to the steps and sets them right next to Show. With a running start, Edge uses the steps as a springboard and dives at Show, sending both of them through the barricade and into the crowd.
Back in and Edge gets two on Cena but the spear is countered into the STF. John pulls it back to the center of the ring but Big Show breaks it up by grabbing Cena’s throat. A Vader Bomb elbow misses Edge and everyone is down again. In a rare sight, Edge and Cena team up to suplex Show down and then clothesline him to the floor.
The Throwback puts Edge down but as Cena goes up, Show shoves him off and into a spear from Edge for two. Everyone is inside again and Show charges into a boot from Edge. The champion tries a sleeper on Show, so in the HOW DID HE DO THAT spot of the year, Cena AA’s BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME. Edge slides off and Show takes the full brunt. Cena hits an AA on Edge onto Big Show and pins the giant for the title.
Rating: B-. Fine but it’s another meaningless title change in a year which would be full of such things. Edge would get the title back at Backlash to make sure that these title reigns are as forgettable as possible and give us Cena vs. Big Show for about the ninth time. The match was just ok for the most part until the eye popping finish.
Wrestlemania 26 is in Phoenix.
Now we get the Hall of Fame class: Terry and Dory Funk, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, the Von Erichs and Ricky Steamboat. Oh and Steve Austin. Yeah him too. He takes off his suit and rides his ATV around ringside for one last moment.
This brings us to the main event of HHH vs. Orton. This was basically a continuation of Orton vs. the McMahons with HHH being the big soldier to fight in the war. Vince and Shane had already been taken out and Orton won the Rumble to get us here. With HHH firmly in his sights (again), Orton went on the attack.
One night on Raw, HHH was knocked into the ropes and tied up as Stephanie came down. Orton gave Stephanie the Elevated DDT before kissing her on the lips, further enraging HHH. At one point in the rivalry, HHH broke into Orton’s house and threw him through a window. Orton decided to fight HHH at Wrestlemania instead of pressing charges. The stage was perfectly set for the great beat down by HHH, allowing him to let out all of his aggression and rage on Orton.
While not the greatest story in the world, at least there was a solid idea and we should get a solid brawl out of things. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned beating of a hated rival is there? Well apparently WWE saw something wrong with it, because there was a stipulation added: if HHH gets countered out or more importantly disqualified, he loses the WWE Title. Upon hearing this, everyone collectively said HUH?
This stipulation made no sense. The whole point of the match was to see HHH beat the stuffing out of Orton once and for all. What possible good could there be to make it a match where HHH had to keep calm and play by the rules? For some reason, this is what we got at Wrestlemania XXV.
HHH vs. Randy Orton
HHH has a cool entrance here as he swings his hammer at the camera, only to reveal that it’s a big mirror that he shatters. They stare at each other for a bit before HHH takes Orton down and pounds away. The champion stomps on Orton in the corner and is threatened with a DQ, showing us how stupid this gimmick is. With HHH yelling at the referee, Orton grabs an RKO out of nowhere a minute and five seconds in. The Punt misses and there’s the Pedigree but HHH can’t follow up.
Orton is sent to the floor and rammed into the announce table before heading back in for more right hands. HHH catapults Orton throat first into the bottom rope before dropping some knees on the head. Randy heads back to the floor and counters a whip to send HHH into the steps. HHH gets whipped into the timekeeper’s table which apparently hurt his shoulder. Orton tries to get the countout to get the title but the Game is back in at nine.
Randy drops some knees and kicks to the ribs and it’s off to the chinlock. Back up after a few moments in the hold and HHH punches his way out of the corner. The jumping knee to Orton’s face puts him down and there’s the facebuster for good measure. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult though, sending HHH face first into the buckle. Not that it really matters though as a clothesline puts Orton down for two as the slow pace finally picks up a bit.
HHH gets shoved off the top but Orton dives off the top into a boot. A rollup gets two for the champion and they slug it out some more. The spinebuster puts Randy down but the Pedigree is countered into Orton’s backbreaker for two. HHH gets in another clothesline and goes up for some reason, only to jump into a dropkick. A kick to HHH’s ribs is caught and Orton is flipped over the top and out to the floor. They head over to the announce table and HHH picks up a monitor but drops it for fear of losing the title.
The champion tries a Pedigree on the announce table, only to be backdropped down onto the table which doesn’t break. With HHH still on the table, Orton hits the Elevated DDT to drive HHH head first into the floor. HHH still manages to get back in at 9 so Orton stomps away even more. Randy stomps away in the corner and chokes away as this is dragging again. HHH comes back but Orton throws HHH into the referee. There’s the RKO but the referee is down.
With no referee, Orton goes to the floor and gets a sledgehammer, but as he gets back inside HHH punts him in the head. A shot to the head with the sledgehammer puts Orton down and HHH pounds away. Orton is out cold so HHH hits another Pedigree for good measure and retains the title.
Rating: D. Erg that was awful. This was the same problem they had with the Cena vs. HHH match from a few years ago, where it felt like they were trying for something epic that told a story but it didn’t work at all. Instead it was these two punching and kicking a lot while having to stop because they might get disqualified. This didn’t work at all because the match didn’t fit the buildup, which was only decent in the first place.
HHH stands over Orton’s body like a viking standing over a big kill to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, this show is WAY better than I remember it with only two bad matches the whole way through. Unfortunately, the first of those two matches is after a nearly fifteen minute concert which no one wanted to see. The other match though is the main event which counting recap, entrances and post match stuff is nearly 40 minutes. That match is like a sledgehammer to the knees of this show and is easily one of the worst main events in Mania history.
On the other hand, the rest of the show is shockingly good, but it falls short of what it could have been in places. MITB is probably the worst yet but still solid, the Legends match was good but had absolutely no right to be, the Hardy match was good but nothing more, and the triple threat was about the same. The problem here is that one match is all anyone really remembers from this show other than a few individual moments. The memory of the main event hurts this thing a lot as it’s the only thing people remember other than the Streak match. Much better show than I remember, but it’s no classic.
Ratings Comparison
Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Divas Battle Royal
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: C
Redo: B
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker
Original: A+
Redo: A+
John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Randy Orton vs. HHH
Original: F+
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: D
Redo: B-
Did I mention this was the first live review I ever did?
Monday Night Raw – March 23, 2015: The Last Ditch Effort
Monday Night Raw Date: March 23, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re at the final show of a pretty short build to Wrestlemania and they’re already in California. This is the final show before Wrestlemania and it’s time for the big push for all the matches. On top of that we have Snoop Dogg and ESPN’s Bill Simmons, who has been feuding with JBL on Twitter, in the building as well. Because that makes me want to see Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Sting. Well that’s a bit better. What isn’t a bit better is Cole babbling about fourteen years ago and all the WCW stuff. This is STING on Raw. We don’t need commentary right now. Sting says this is what it feels like to start Raw. Over the last fourteen years he’s watched HHH manipulate and undermine his way to the top of WWE. HHH must think he’s unstoppable and that there’s no consequence for his action. Even though Sting is the last soldier in some forgotten war. He’s not here to fight for WCW because that would be ridiculous at this point (REALLY good idea to drop that idea).
Instead he’s here to take HHH down…..and here’s freaking Stephanie. Are you kidding me? Sting got to talk for 90 seconds and she just has to interject herself now? Booker: “I don’t think Sting knows how to handle Stephanie.” Oh screw you too whoever told him to say that line. She goes into her usual schtick but Sting calls her a spoiled brat who buys her own hype and thinks she deserves this. Sting: “But it’s nice to meet you Steph!”
Stephanie recaps the end of the Monday Night Wars (about two minutes after Sting said this wasn’t about WCW) and says you can only paint a dog up so well. She doesn’t want to insult dogs by comparing them to Sting and ripping on WCW. So I guess her and Shane buying WCW and ECW is just forgotten. She loads up the slap but Sting grabs her arm and Stephanie is STUNNED. Cue HHH to thankfully save this segment and take off his jacket. Stephanie pulls out the sledgehammer but Sting of course has the bat ready. That’s still just a perfect visual. HHH leaves so Sting drops the bat and tells him to come on.
Well enough of that cool segment. Time to plug the App and show Divas standing in the back!
Dean Ambrose/R-Truth vs. Luke Harper/Stardust
Barrett is on commentary. Truth sends Stardust to the floor to start where the CODY chants annoy him. It’s off to Harper vs. Ambrose as the announcers talk about the betting odds for the ladder match. Everything breaks down and the good guys clear the ring as we take a break. Back with Stardust holding Ambrose in the chinlock before an Alabama Slam gets two near falls in a row.
Harper throws Dean down as well and sets him on the top before tagging Stardust back in. A superplex attempt doesn’t quite work and Dean falls to the floor for a clothesline to Harper. He follows it up with a tornado DDT as Stardust is running the apron. Truth comes in to clean house and gets two off his sitout gordbuster with Harper making the save. A superkick drops Truth but Harper eats the rebound clothesline and a suicide dive. The Little Jimmy puts Stardust away at 10:40.
Rating: C-. The match was fine and it’s nice to see Truth get a win for the a change. The ladder match has the potential to steal the show if they let these guys go nuts, but I’m going to roll my eyes if Barrett walks out with the title. At least they’ve cut back on the stupid title stealing, but it’s going to wind up being one of those moments that makes me roll my eyes, only to be harmless at the end of the day.
Barrett wisely runs off with the belt before anyone can steal it. Truth gets Dean to do a little dance post match.
Some Special Olympians are here.
Video on Reigns, centered around a sitdown interview. He talks about how Lesnar has built up a mystique but backed it up. Reigns says he can and he will defeat Brock. Believe that.
Miz and Mizdow interviewed Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart about their new movie earlier today and of course the actors like Mizdow.
Miz/Damien Mizdow/Ascension/Adam Rose vs. Prime Time Players/Ryback/Zack Ryder/Erick Rowan
Bill Simmons from ESPN is on commentary. The fans want Mizdow but get Titus giving Miz a backbreaker. Titus suplexes Young onto Miz as Simmons talks about Lesnar. Rose steals a tag that was meant for Mizdow but eats a discus forearm and atomic drop. Off to Rowan for a fall away slam of his own, followed by a Broski Boot from Ryder. This might be Ryder’s longest Raw match in at least a year.
Ascension comes in and stomps away on Ryder but Mizdow returns the favor to Rose by tagging himself in. He cleans house and takes off his glasses but Miz demands to be tagged back in. Ryder finally scores with a faceplant and dives over for the tag to Ryback. Everything breaks down and Miz charges into the Meat Hook, setting up Shell Shock for the pin at 5:48.
Rating: D. These are always hard to grade as there’s really nothing you can do with so many people out there. This was an easy way to help set up the battle royal, even though Ryback is probably the only guy in the ring that has a real chance of winning on Sunday. Decent enough match and a nice way to get all these guys on TV for a change. I still feel sorry for the Ascension though as they’ve fallen through the floor. Not as far as Ryder but that’s rare company. Simmons was fine but did almost nothing here.
The fans choose Randy Orton’s opponent.
Big Show: 11%
Kane: 12%
Seth Rollins/Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble: 77%
Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Randy Orton
Mercury starts but quickly tags out to Noble. That goes as well for Jamie as you would expect but Rollins gets in a cheap shot from behind to give Noble an opening. Orton comes back with a powerslam and double Elevated DDT, only to avoid a Curb Stomp attempt. Rollins runs so Jamie takes the RKO (which looks awkward since he’s so short) for the pin at 3:17.
Rating: D+. This was an angle instead of a match, though I have no idea why Rollins needed to officially be on the team. He could have done the same thing as a manager outside but at least he didn’t get beaten up or pinned. This was the best thing they’ve done in the disaster of a build up for these two and it continues to be a good use of the Stooges.
This week’s sitdown interview is with Cena, who talks about how important it is to bring the US Title back to America so he can represent it around the world, including in Russia.
Nikki Bella has offered either AJ or Paige a Divas Title match tonight but they have to pick who gets it. Neither girl wants to take it over the other but Paige says AJ is crazy if she doesn’t take it. You know what that does to AJ and tension is teased.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Nikki is defending but gets speared down and hammered with right hands to the face. The champ heads outside for a bit before taking Paige down with a clothesline. We stop for some unnecessary pushups, allowing Paige to take her back outside and regain control. Back in and a facebuster gets two for Nikki as we take a break. We come back with Paige fighting out of a chinlock but walking into something like a spinebuster for two. A double clothesline puts both girls down and it’s Paige up first with her three clotheslines and a running dropkick for two of her own.
Nikki comes back with a horribly missed spinning kick out of the corner for two, only to walk into a superkick for the same. Rampaige is countered into a small package for two before Nikki hits an Alabama Slam (that’s becoming a really popular move). The Rack Attack is countered but Rampaige only gets two. They fall to the floor and AJ knocks out Brie, only to hit Paige by mistake, allowing Nikki to hit the big forearm. AJ is stunned as Nikki hits the Rack Attack for the pin to retain at 10:42.
Rating: C. Storytelling here again but I’ll give them credit for a good surprise on the kickout of the Rampaige. I’m still not sure why the title isn’t on the line Sunday, as it’s not like belts have never been up for grabs in a tag match before. This was fine though and Nikki has improved exponentially in the last few months. She would still be overwhelmed if a match ever got above second gear, but she’s gone from a disaster to totally watchable and that’s a big upgrade.
Paige and AJ get into it post match.
Here’s tonight’s other guest star Snoop Dogg, wearing what looks to be pajamas and accompanied by a lot of dancing Divas. He talks about how awesome Wrestlemania is going to be, but Curtis Axel cuts him off. Curtis says Axelmania is running wild and here to stay. Axel calls him a clown that’s been popping up on Twitter. He’s been waiting for Axel to show up because he needs to see the real mania. Cue Hulk Hogan to talk about pressing Andre over his head in front of 94,000 fans. He’s a fan of Snoopmania, but he’s not sure about this Axelmania. “What’s this brother smoking over here?” Axel tears his shirt off but eats a right hand before Snoop throws him to the floor and reveals a Hulkamania shirt. Posing ensues.
For those of you that call wrestling predictable, I ask you this: if I had told you three months ago that on the go home show for Wrestlemania, Hulk Hogan would confront Curtis Axel, how insane would I have sounded?
We look back at the Brock interview from last week.
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya vs. Los Matadores/El Torito
Rematch of the interspecies match from Thursday. In case you love this moronic comedy you see. The Usos and Naomi are on commentary as Cesaro throws Fernando down to start. Torito comes in to face Natalya but it’s just a tease as Kidd and Diego come in. Cesaro offers a cheap shot so his partner can take over with a chinlock. Back up and Kidd dives into a dropkick and the double tag brings in Cesaro and Fernando as the fans do not seem interested. Everything breaks down and Torito sunset flips Natalya for the pin at 4:15.
Rating: D. Six days before Wrestlemania. Six days.
Barrett has to give Kane the Intercontinental Title and doesn’t want to let it go again. Then he just gives it up after wasting thirty seconds of our time.
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger
Non-title. Rusev elbows him in the face to start and hammers away in the corner. Just Accolade him now and stop wasting our time. The fans want Lana as Rusev stomps away and we hit a chinlock. Jack fights up for a big boot and a quickly broken Patriot Lock. Swagger gets caught on the middle rope and clotheslined back onto the mat. The superkick and Accolade end Swagger at 4:37.
Rating: D+. My goodness I’m over seeing these two fight. Bring back the nameless jobbers instead of just having him destroy Swagger over and over again. We know what’s coming anyway, so why bother crushing Rusev like this? It’s such a waste of time and the little crowd reaction he gets at this point, so stop hurting him.
Rusev won’t let go so Cena comes out for the save. The brawl is on but Rusev takes him to the floor and posts Cena and throws him over the table. Rusev goes to leave but comes back for a running superkick. The announcers’ table is loaded up and Cena is thrown on top, setting up the Accolade on the table. Cena blacks out again.
Here’s Bray Wyatt with something to say. He wants to know why people hide from the truth. Is it because you’re afraid for them to know who you are? Each and every single one of us are guilty of hating the people that looks at them in the mirror every morning. That’s why you put on makeup to cover all the inconsistencies inside of yourself. It doesn’t change the fact that every one of you is a liar.
Bray isn’t a liar though. His tongue is a sword of truth and cuts through the lies of this world. The Undertaker lies as well, but the angle with the burned wings has been sent to take him back to the other side. Thunder starts to rumble but Bray says this belongs to him now. He judges the living and the dead and he has judged Undertaker as guilty. Undertaker will feel Sister Abigail’s kiss on Sunday and Bray will be the new face of fear. AWESOME promo here and maybe Bray’s best ever.
Kevin Nash Hall of Fame video.
Natalya overhears Tyson Kidd talking to his Burger King and gets a bit jealous until she has a fry.
Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
The belt is above the ring. The other five participants in the ladder match are in a fan voted poll to be guest referee. Ambrose wins with 57% of the votes. They hit the mat to start with Bryan sitting out for a standoff. We hit a test of strength until Bryan suplexes him down and starts on the arm. Dolph reverses into a headlock and takes Bryan into the corner but it turns into a slugout. Bryan backflips out of the corner but Ziggler throws him over, only to have Bryan skin the cat and headscissor him outside. They fly at the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.
Back with Bryan fighting out of a sleeper and getting two off a German suplex. He heads up top but gets crotched down, setting up a running top rope faceplant for two for Dolph. Bryan can’t backslide him so he just kicks Dolph in the face for two. We get dueling chants but the YES chants for some kicks in the corner drown them out. Bryan charges into a superkick and the Zig Zag is good for the completely clean pin at 10:55.
Rating: B-. Good but not great match here. It’s still weird to see Bryan getting pinned clean, especially around Wrestlemania time. I’d love to see these two get the time for a real program instead of just being in there with all the other people for a big messy title match. Good stuff here though and the best match of the night.
Dirty Deeds plants Ziggler post match and it’s ladder time. Everyone comes out for the big climbing war and the ladder falls down onto Harper’s leg, leaving everyone down on the mat. Harper might be hurt as that didn’t look planned.
Here are Lesnar and Heyman for the big showdown with Reigns. Heyman does his usual and says if he hasn’t sold us on the main event beating yet, there’s nothing he can do now. If you want to see Roman Reigns take a beating, you’ll get your money’s worth. Last year, the fans said Lesnar couldn’t beat Undertaker, but he could and did. People said he couldn’t beat John Cena, but he could and did.
Now people say he’s a mercenary, but Lesnar is a man who loves to hurt people trying to take the title away from him. Reigns might as well take Brock’s wife, take his house, the food off his children’s plates and rename them Reigns if he wants to take that title from Lesnar. This man is a beast who will take Reigns’ wife, his house, the food off his children’s plates and rename them Lesnar, so come for a fight. This Sunday Brock conquers the main event of Wrestlemania. Reigns says he can and he will, but this Sunday the champ says you can’t and you won’t.
Here’s Reigns himself at 11:08pm for the big staredown. Brock holds up the title but Reigns grabs it from his hand and holds it in Brock’s face. Lesnar tries to take it back and they struggle over the belt to end the show. THAT’S IT??? We waited two months for THAT?
Overall Rating: C-. I didn’t hate this show but my goodness it’s really hard to care about most of this. At the end of the day, they haven’t made me interested in most of what they’re presenting on Sunday. Bray’s promo was awesome and there were some other good things going on, but then we had a bull pinning Natalya as the Tag Team Champions literally looked on and a Burger King ad (which to be fair made me laugh).
Wrestlemania will have the potential to knock it out of the park on Sunday if they get the wrestling right, but at the same time, it has the potential to absolutely bomb. It doesn’t seem to have much higher to go than “pleasant surprise”, but it could be more along the lines of Wrestlemania 27: one or two good things, but overall a show where you look back and ask “what were they thinking?”
Results
R-Truth/Dean Ambrose b. Stardust/Luke Harper – Little Jimmy to Stardust
Ryback/Zack Ryder/Prime Time Players/Erick Rowan b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Ascension/Adam Rose – Shell Shock to Miz
Randy Orton b. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury/Seth Rollins – RKO to Noble
Los Matadores/El Torito b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya – Sunset flip to Natalya
Rusev b. Jack Swagger – Accolade
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag
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