We know who attacked Roman Reigns.  Who else could it have been?

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-done/

NXT
Date: August 7, 2019
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Mauro Ranallo, Beth Phoenix

It’s the go home show for Takeover: Toronto, which is probably the weakest Takeover they’ve done in a long time. The show is likely to be good, though I’m not exactly sure how interesting it’s going to be. We still have this show to help with the build though and they’ve pulled off some great final pushes before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

William Regal is in the ring for the contract signing for the Tag Team Title match. The Street Profits are out first but before the Undisputed Era joins them, Montez Ford gives the a New Age Outlaws style intro. That brings out “O’Reilly Auto Parts and Lawrence Fishburn Jr.”, with the Profits dancing to their music. Fish, who has to shrug off an AUTO PARTS chant, says the Profits need to cover their ears because Fish says they’re not on their level.

For once their autographs mean something because the Era wants them on those contracts. Before we get there though, Fish says they’re funnier than the Profits too. Kyle tells a joke: “The Street Profits are NXT Tag Team Champions.” Fish: “EVERYONE LAUGH!” Ford talks about how the Era has had their chance by being on TV every week and that they’ve beaten every team in NXT history. So what makes them think that losing is an option for the Profits?

The fans have seen them and believe in them so why is losing an option? As far as they’ve come, losing is not an option for them because all they can do is WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN! The Era is getting a beating in Toronto and that is undisputed. Everyone signs. Ford looked like a star here with an incredibly fired up promo. Couple that with the next level athleticism and he could break out in a hurry.

Video on the North American Title match. Velveteen Dream has been a pretty dominant champion but Roderick Strong beat him in a tag match to earn a shot. Then Pete Dunne was added in as a wild card and instantly felt like one of the biggest stars in all of NXT.

A member of Slipknot talks about the Takeover theme song.

Video on Shayna Baszler vs. Mia Yim. Mia grew up with a hard life and has fought all the way here. Baszler says it takes more than a great story to impress her. Every story with her ends in the same way: tap, nap or snap. Shayna earned her spot based on what she accomplished. Mia is here because a bunch of fans wanted her here. Mia took out the lackeys that gave Shayna an advantage so it’s one on one. Shayna: “Mia doesn’t deserve a title shot. She deserves a prison sentence.”

Joaquin Wilde vs. Shane Thorne

Wilde takes him down and flips over Thorne’s back, setting up some rhythmic shouting. Thorne flips out of a wristlock but Wilde flips up into a standoff. The high angle springboard wristdrag takes Thorne down and Wilde flips up again for two. Thorne is right back with a brainbuster before working on the arm some more. Wilde is right back with a slingshot clothesline and a middle rope elbow to the face. Back up and Thorne goes to the middle rope, earning himself a powerbomb right back down.

The rolling DDT is blocked and Thorne hits him in the face. Wilde loads up a monkey flip but kicks Thorne in the face instead, sending Thorne outside. The suicide dive over the corner takes him down again and it’s a running flip dive to drop Thorne for the second time in a row. That’s good for a nine count, with Thorne sliding back to the floor. Wilde follows him out and gets posted, setting up a running knee to give Thorne the pin at 7:23.

Rating: C. I can go with a Thorn push as I liked TM61, though it will be nice to not have to remember which is which. It’s been a long time since the team did anything so Thorne is basically starting over. That might be the best thing for him as well, as the team wasn’t exactly successful in the first place.

Video on Io Shirai vs. Candice LeRae, with Candice trying to give Io a fair shot at the Women’s Title. Shirai lost anyway and beat Candice down, saying she didn’t need help.

Harley Race tribute video.

Matt Riddle vs. Killian Dain

Fallout from Dain attacking Riddle after his last match. Dain seemed to like the idea as he jumps Riddle during the entrance and lays him out against the steps. No match for now.

Video on the Breakout Tournament, with the finals featuring Cameron Grimes vs. Jordan Myles. The finals are next week.

We look back at Fandango returning to reform Breezango.

Tyler Breeze asks Fandango where he has been. Fandango was in deep and realized that his fashion sense was way off. Fandango: “It was whack!” Breeze: “I don’t know what that means.” Fandango: “Bad.” Breeze: “BAD???” They need a makeover, like Breezango reimagined. Breeze likes the idea. Next week: Breezango vs. Forgotten Sons.

We look back at Adam Cole vs. Johnny Gargano. They’ve fought at back to back Takeovers with Cole winning the title at Takeover: XXV. They’ll be fighting again in Toronto in another 2/3 falls match, with a regular match, a street fight and a third stipulation to be decided if they go to the third fall.

Gargano has been looking at the pictures on the walls of the Performance Center, which have been eating away at him because he isn’t the best. What matters is what you do in NXT and he has something left to do. Some wrestlers talk about how Johnny is an inspiration and he’s been coaching a bit. Johnny says Shawn Michaels is Mr. Wrestlemania and Johnny wants to be Mr. NXT.

We see some clips of Adam Cole’s Bay Bay Championship Celebration Tour, with Cole beating a bunch of challengers because he’s that great. Back at the Performance Center, Seth Rollins gave Johnny a pep talk. Then Cole defended the title some more. Then Gargano talked to Finn Balor, who thinks Gargano is awesome. The fans are split on who will win and Regal won’t give an answer. Various wrestlers aren’t sure on who wins either. The story ends in Toronto.

This was a mini documentary and it did an outstanding job of selling me on the title match. The idea of Gargano wanting to take the respectful route and earn his legacy vs. Cole who thinks he’s earned all of this already was a great way to set up their differences and I’m buying the important of Saturday’s match a lot more. As usual, NXT knows exactly what they’re doing with these things and this was excellent.

Overall Rating: B. I know a lot of people aren’t going to be pleased with the show consisting one one lower card match but that’s not the point of a show like this. The point of this show was to make me want to see Takeover more and it did so very well. This hasn’t been the strongest build to a show they’ve done and giving us an hour long commercial for the show was a good idea. That was more important than having some midcard stories advanced and it’s a good sign that NXT knew what to do. I liked this more and it was what they should have done, because a wrestling show is about a lot more than the wrestling.

Results

Shane Thorne b. Joaquin Wilde – Running knee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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NXT UK
Date: August 7, 2019
Location: Plymouth Pavilions, Devon, England
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Aiden English

With less than a month to go before Takeover: Cardiff, the card has mostly taken shape and now we have the big main event set. Tyler Bate vs. Walter for the United Kingdom Title could be the best match the promotion has ever had in its short history and that should be enough to carry the whole thing. In addition to that, it’s time to find out about the Tag Team Titles, meaning some Zack Gibson greatness. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Harley Race tribute video. I’d say he’s earned it.

Opening sequence.

Noam Dar vs. Ashton Smith

The bigger Smith drives him into the corner to start so Dar grabs the arm. Since it’s kind of hard to flip around with someone holding your arm, Smith gets pulled down without much effort. Smith goes to the arm as well with Dar heading straight to the ropes to show the intelligence. A nice dropkick works better for Smith but Dar claims an eye injury. As Smith has seen a Dar match before, he goes straight at Dar in the corner and gets backdropped to the floor.

Back in and Dar grabs the armbar again before countering an enziguri into the ankle lock. That lasts less than three seconds as Smith is right back up with a clothesline and a running kick to the chest. Dar kicks him in the leg and hits a running elbow to the back of the head for two of his own. This time it’s Smith playing possum so he can score with a superkick, but Dar avoids the middle rope leg lariat. The Nova Roller gives Dar the pin at 5:44.

Rating: C. There was something here with Dar’s goldbricking being well known by this point. It makes sense to go that way and is the next step in what he’s been doing lately. Smith is someone with obvious athleticism but he has nothing in the way of character or anything that makes him stand out. How many people does that apply to around here?

Post match Dar talks about how he’s here to wrestle all the time and promises to be in Cardiff. Thank you, bye bye.

Tyler Bate talks about Trent Seven not being medically cleared but he isn’t going to let Walter get away with this. In Cardiff, he’s becoming a two time champion.

Here are the Grizzled Young Veterans for a chat. Gibson does the usual intro and a fan asks where his car stereo is. Has he checked his car? Anyway, Gibson doesn’t want to hear about Gallus beating a bunch of Joe Blows and Johnny Kickpads to get a title shot. Cue Gallus to say they’re not demanding but rather taking their championship match in Cardiff.

Hang on though as here are Flash Morgan Webster and Mark Andrews to interrupt. They want in on this title match as well because Andrews is the hometown boy in Cardiff. Webster knows they can beat both teams but Gibson says Johnny Saint makes the matches. If they want a title shot, earn it.

Video on Takeover: Blackpool, which is inspiring everyone to be ready for Cardiff. Various people are excited, even if they are unlikely to be on the show.

Travis Banks has promised himself that he’s going to Cardiff. Dar can say he’s going to Takeover all he wants but his spot isn’t guaranteed either. Banks leaves and Webster/Andrews come out of Saint’s office, saying they have to earn their Takeover spot as well. They can prove themselves over the next few weeks.

Jazzy Gabert/Jinny vs. Xia Brookside/Piper Niven

This could be interesting. Xia and Jinny start things off with Xia going straight to the dropkick. Jinny gets up an elbow in the corner but walks into a headscissors, which leaves Xia right in front of Gabert. It’s Jinny with a hard forearm to the face so Gabert can come in to knock Xia silly. A slam is enough to bring Jinny back in as Gabert isn’t the most time consuming monster.

Since no one is wasting time, Xia gets in her own shot to the face and brings Niven in for a running buckle bomb on Jinny. It’s right into the Gabert corner, with the announcers not being sure if that was a mistake or not. Niven knocks Gabert down and hits the running crossbody for two, followed by the backsplash to give Brookside her own two. Since Brookside is an average sized human, Gabert side slams her down to cut off the momentum.

Cue Rhea Ripley though and Piper brawls with her up the ramp. Brookside realizes she’s alone and grabs a Codebreaker on Jinny. Another headscissors sets up some running knees to Jinny’s back in the corner for two. Xia crossbodies both of them at once but Gabert shrugs it off and hits a Dominator for the pin at 7:40.

Rating: C. This was a nice way to set up a few things at once with Niven vs. Ripley being ready for a heck of a monster showdown later. At the same time, if Toni Storm survives Cardiff, Jinny and Jazzy would be a great next step for her. Jinny and Jazzy are a very good example of the formula that has worked for years so giving them a harder push would be fine.

Video on Toni Storm vs. Kay Lee Ray, with Storm citing Ray as an inspiration. Ray talks about seeing Toni as a bubbly girl and they have a long history in the ring. Now they get to do this on the big stage.

Ilja Dragunov was about to be interviewed in the dark when Kassius Ohno came in and turned on the light. That’s it for Ohno, which doesn’t sit well with Dragunov. They’ll fight next week.

Also next week: Flash Morgan Webster vs. Mark Coffey.

Dave Mastiff vs. Joe Coffey

They collide to start and slug it out with Coffey getting the better of things so Dave hiptosses him for one. Coffey is sent to the apron so he goes up but has to slip out of a German suplex attempt. The second attempt works better for Mastiff, though Coffey is able to pull the middle turnbuckle pad off at the same time. Coffey knows what happens and hits the running headbutt to the ribs in the corner, sending Mastiff into the buckle. A backbreaker and backsplash give Coffey two, followed by a fairly questionable armbar.

Mastiff headbutts Coffey down and throws him down with a release German suplex. One heck of a forearm to the ear stuns Mastiff and they head outside, where Mastiff hits him in the ear to bust it open. Mastiff hits him in the face and takes it back inside for a series of elbows to the ear. Another backsplash gives Mastiff his own two and Coffey heads to the apron. That means another running headbutt, sending Mastiff’s back into the buckle again. It’s a double countout at 7:44.

Rating: C-. It was a good enough power brawl though the ending felt pretty lame. You can pencil them in for a rematch at Cardiff in a similar story to Dominik Dijakovic vs. Keith Lee from the regular NXT, which isn’t a bad idea. Mastiff has been a well protected force around here and that could go somewhere if they decide to pull the trigger on him.

They have to be separated, with Mastiff shouting at Joe to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t their strongest show but they moved forward with most of the matches already set up for Takeover. There are still a few more things that need to be made ready and those can be hammered out in the next few weeks. Takeover can be a rather good show, and while this week wasn’t the best, the Bate vs. Walter match is going to be more than enough to carry everything.

Results

Noam Dar b. Ashton Smith – Nova Roller

Jinny/Jazzy Gabert b. Xia Brookside/Piper Niven – Dominator to Brookside

Dave Mastiff vs. Joe Coffey went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2005
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means it’s the Batista Show, which is exactly what it should be right now. In addition to that though we have Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle to keep setting up, plus Chris Jericho doing something with a ladder. I’m sure that won’t go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH being all upset and Batista not being worried.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shawn to address Angle. Shawn talks about having a long and brutal match last week and then Angle attacked him. That’s why he showed up on Smackdown last week and gave Angle a beating of his own. We see a clip of Shawn coming to Smackdown and jumping Angle, which got Shawn thinking. Why is Angle having so much rage lately? It’s the kind of rage that comes from doubt, because Angle may be a Gold Medalist, but does that mean he can hang on the biggest stage of them all against Mr. Wrestlemania?

Angle pops up on screen and says it does go back to 1996. Yeah he won in the Olympics but then he kept being asked about turning pro. Shawn wrestled Bret Hart for over an hour and reporters talked to him about that instead of his gold medal. Angle wants Shawn to watch Smackdown as Angle is going to take four weeks to do what Shawn took sixteen years to do. Shawn doesn’t look sure to wrap things up. This was a very solid promo exchange as they gave a good story to a match that didn’t need one, which is always appreciated.

HHH vs. Rosey

Non-title as Rosey wants revenge for Hurricane from last week. A very early Pedigree attempt is blocked with Rosey hitting a running splash in the corner instead. Rosey misses a middle rope moonsault (which looked better than you might have expected) so HHH hammers away. HHH whips him into the steps and takes it back inside for the spinebuster. The Pedigree finishes things quick.

Post match HHH gets in a sledgehammer shot to further make his point, whatever that was supposed to be.

Jerry Lawler got Christy Hemme to sign his Playboy today.

Video on the Playboy shoot.

Ric Flair is worried about facing Batista tonight but HHH talks him into it. Promising to be out there with the sledgehammer makes Flair feel better too.

Chris Jericho, Edge, Shelton Benjamin, Christian and Chris Benoit are in Eric Bischoff’s office. Bischoff explains the concept of the big ladder match but Edge doesn’t want any part of it. The tease of getting a chance to be World Champion brings him back though, with Bischoff first dropping the term Money In The Bank. Tonight, the six participants will be facing off, with Christian getting to face the sixth participant next.

Kane vs. Christian

Christian tries to hammer away in the corner to start but gets shoved down with ease. Kane gets in his choking in the corner but a Tomko cheap shot gives Christian a break. Like any normal sized person against a monster, Christian tries the sleeper and has some more success than usual. Kane swings it around into a side slam and there’s a powerslam for a bonus. The big boot looks to set up the top rope clothesline but Kane has to kick Tomko down first. Not that it matters as Christian charges into the chokeslam for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. It was so nice to see a match like this that didn’t involve hearing 184 instances of commentary talking about building momentum. Instead they talked about the carnage coming in the ladder match and how big of a force Kane could be. It was a specific discussion instead of the generic terms that they use most of the time in the build to these things.

Post match Tomko hits a big boot on Kane before bailing with Christian.

Stacy Keibler helps Randy Orton get dressed so he can make his official challenge for Wrestlemania.

Lawler enjoys some Subway.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Edge has a banged up arm coming in after last week’s street fight. We start with the YOU SCREWED MATT chants as the feeling out process gets us going. Now it’s a YOU SCREWED LITA chant as Jericho starts in on a hammerlock. Some knees and a dropkick to the arm set up an attempted cross armbreaker as Edge is having some issues to start.

The running enziguri puts Edge down again and it’s the springboard dropkick to put him on the floor. A plancha to the floor takes Edge down and takes us to a break. Back with Jericho kicking at the ribs and going up top, only to have Edge catch him with a top rope superplex. The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on but Jericho fights up, only to get kneed right back down.

A clothesline works a bit better for a comeback and Jericho gets two off a DDT. The running bulldog sets up the missed Lionsault and Edge gets two off a big boot. Jericho grabs the legs for the Walls attempt but Edge kicks him into the referee. Edge gets a boot up in the corner (the boot works well for him) but the missed spear sends Edge outside. Since there is a ladder out there with him, Edge brings it in, only to get taken down for a Lionsault to the back. There’s no referee though so Edge hits Jericho low with the ladder. The Edgecution gives Edge the pin.

Rating: C+. I was expecting a bit more given the time they had, but Edge cheating to win fits him very well at the moment. He’s obsessed with winning the title and will do anything he can to get a step closer to being champion. The match was good enough due to the talent involved, but these two can do better.

Bischoff has a new idea: Batista picks HHH’s opponent and the week after that, HHH picks Batista’s opponent. Coach declares this to be genius, with Bischoff dubbing the idea Pick Your Poison.

Hulk Hogan Hall of Fame video. We covered that last week.

Here’s Orton for his Wrestlemania challenge. When he was five years old, he sat in front of the TV and watched his dad wrestle, which was pretty cool. This year, his dad is going into the Hall of Fame and Orton is so proud of him. Wrestling is about making an impact and that is what he’s going to do right now by challenging the Undertaker for Wrestlemania. Undertaker is a legend and the Legend Killer is putting an end to the Streak.

This brings out Bischoff, who thinks he drove Orton to the challenge. He’s looking forward to Raw winning the interbranded matches at Wrestlemania because the stock options will be great. Orton asks Bischoff about running WCW and his success against Raw. Bischoff agrees and Orton thinks that makes him a legend. Bischoff: “That’s right Randy it…..does.” The RKO drops Bischoff. Orton vs. Undertaker sounds good on paper, but it would have had more of an impact had Orton not been destroyed over the last few months.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. They go straight to the chops to start with Benjamin getting sent outside for the big dive, which sends Benoit crashing into the ladder, bending it in the process (that’s a hard one to watch). Back in and the top rope clothesline gets two but Benoit is right back up with the rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive misses though and Shelton rolls him up for one. The Dragon Whip misses and Benoit grabs the Crossface, eventually rolling into the middle to make Benjamin tap.

Rating: C. That was intense but rather short as they didn’t even get five minutes. These two could have an instant classic with more time but given that Edge vs. Jericho got the time earlier, it’s not like the time was given to something worthless. Shelton tapping isn’t the best idea, though it doesn’t mean much given the circumstances.

Wrestlemania trailer, this time with Undertaker as Dirty Harry. That doesn’t fit well during the Deadman phase. Neither is Undertaker shooting the guy with a shotgun.

We look at HHH hitting Rosey with the hammer again.

Bischoff is banged up when Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come in. Hassan should have been in Money in the Bank and claims discrimination. Bischoff based the participants on their past success at Wrestlemania and that doesn’t apply to Hassan. Revenge is promised.

Smackdown Rebound.

William Regal and Tajiri are impressed by Christy’s Playboy but Trish isn’t quite so keen.

Here’s Christy for a chat. Lawler: “I go from 0 to horny in about 3.5 seconds when I hear her music.” Even JR sidesteps that one and I think we’re all better off for that. She wants Trish out here right now so here’s the champ. Trish tells her to make this quick but thinks she knows what is going on: Christy wants her out here for the announcement that Playboy goes on sale this Friday. Maybe Christy can even autograph it “s***”, like Trish wrote on her last week.

Actually Christy wants a title shot at Wrestlemania. Trish laughs and then promises to end Christy’s career. Christy wants the match so Trish says it’s on. It turns out that Christy has been receiving training from Lita, who comes out to a reaction that almost makes you forget that it’s Christy Hemme getting a Wrestlemania title shot. Granted it’s not like there is anyone else to challenge though. Christy takes advantage of the Lita staredown and hits a reverse Twist of Fate, with the camera catching most of it.

Bischoff won’t let HHH go to ringside for the main event, at least not with the sledgehammer. HHH and Flair complain but Bischoff shows some backbone and makes HHH drop the hammer.

Next week: HHH vs. Chris Benoit.

Ric Flair vs. Batista

HHH is here with Flair. The fans aren’t entirely behind Batista as this is certainly Flair Country. Batista shoves him down with ease to start so Flair goes at him again and gets shoved down a second time. A backdrop sends Flair flying and Batista hammers away in the corner.

HHH offers a distraction and Flair gets in the classic chop block. Flair chokes away with the boot before going back to the knee. The greatest hits only work for so long though as Batista gets up and glares at Flair. The big slam off the top checks off another box and there’s the spinebuster. HHH tries to run in and gets tossed out, setting up the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a paint by numbers match and that’s the right call. Flair (or anyone for that matter) isn’t going to be seen as a threat to Batista at the moment but beating him fits the story. Batista gets another win and gets to look dominant as well as smart. That’s a good use of seven minutes, even if the match was never in doubt.

Post match HHH comes back in with a spar sledgehammer but Batista takes it away. The hammer is broken over Batista’s knee, sending HHH into a panic to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There was a lot more to this show than the wrestling and that worked fairly well. They set up a few matches for Wrestlemania, one of which will actually be good, and kept going with more between HHH vs. Batista. The Pick Your Poison deal lets them have two weeks of storyline stuff, which is better than cramming it into one week. Stuff was done on this show, though it does make it clear how much more Raw has to offer than Smackdown for Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Partymania III
Date: January 25, 2019
Location: The Nile, Mesa, Arizona

So here’s one you’ve probably never heard of, though somehow it’s the second show I’ve done from this same venue this year. This is from Party Hard Wrestling, which is one of the roughly 438 indy promotions with shows available on Independentwrestling.TV. I got a twenty day free trial so I thought I’d try some very random ones and see what they had. Let’s get to it.

Believe it or not, I have no idea what to expect, what’s going on or who these people are.

Opening sequence, with a song saying I WANT TO PARTY WITH YOU over and over.

Pizza Party Battle Royal

Jody Summers, Gourdin, Bradley Banister, Lucha Starr, Tank Engine Thomas, Macho Mouse, Thugnificent, Josh Carey, Ana May, Pete The Heat, Esgrima Gomez, JB2

It’s a battle royal but after each person is eliminated, they go to a table and get a pizza box containing further instructions. The prize to the winner: a golden fanny pack. Well what else were you expecting? As is the case with most low level indies, I can barely understand the entrances (thank goodness for lists of wrestlers on the title screen). There are a lot of masked men in this and I’m not sure which is which, save for some quick words from the announcer when he comes in clearly enough.

Thugnificent has a title on a chain around his neck. Gomez is in fencing gear for some reason and JB2 is Slater from Saved By The Bell, down to being billed from Bayside. And….there is no commentary on this show so I’m going to be even more lost than usual. Everyone gangs up on Thomas (the biggest guy in the match) to get rid of him, meaning we can get to the traditional fighting on the ropes.

Hang on though as Thomas’ further instructions are to GO BACK IN. Thomas: “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” Thugnificent grabs May (the only woman in the match) by the hair and tells her to say something else. Instead she hits him in the face as the regular battle royal brawling goes on around them. May punches Thugnificent out, with him shouting that she is on steroids. Hang on though as Thugnificent’s box also says go back in. We could be here for a long time at this rate.

Thugnificent gets put out again and I’m assuming this one is for good. Macho Mouse is tossed with Ana following him a few seconds later. Gourdin is out and Ana’s pizza box says she’s out. Gomez is tossed and both his and Gourdin’s boxes say they’re out. Summers and Banister are out but both get to go back in, as does Starr. Carey is tossed and he’s out for good. JB2 gets tossed with Banister following him out, as I’m trying as hard as I can to keep track of who is left.

Pete is out as JB2 is back in and Thomas eliminates Gomez, leaving us with Thomas, JB2 and Summers (I think that’s it at least.). All boxes have been delivered so it’s now just a regular battle royal. Thomas tosses JB2 and the rather tall Summers’ forearms have no effect. Naturally he leverages Thomas out a few seconds later for the win at 10:06.

Rating: D. Oh I’m in for a long one here. The camera work is a near nightmare as everything seems to be filmed on a handheld camera with nothing but closeups for the whole match. The lack of commentary isn’t helping either as I could barely keep track of who was in and who was going back in. This might have worked with a lot more structure, but what we had was so all over the place that it didn’t work.

Summers can’t believe he won and JB2 celebrates with him.

EJ Sparks vs. Spyder

EJ dances to the ring and seems to be the fun character. Spyder, with some weird triangle shaped sunglasses that he’ll be wrestling in, jumps him before the bell. The fans respond with a HEY! WE WANT SOME EJ chants as Spyder kicks him in the back. They get inside for the opening bell and EJ hits a jumping middle rope kick to the ribs to take over. The referee wants things to settle down and Spyder hits a Backstabber.

An uppercut to the back gets two and you can hear what sounds like a three year old with the WE WANT SOME EJ chant for a rather adorable moment. Spyder’s suplex gets two and he yells at the referee before hitting a running basement dropkick in the corner. Spyder says it’s time to go to sleep but EJ hits a jumping enziguri. A belly to back faceplant gets two but Spyder grabs the referee to get in a low blow. Spyder Rolls the Dice for the pin at 5:42.

Rating: D+. Neither of these two were even somewhat impressive as the only thing that stood out was Spyder’s glasses. Sparks seems fine for a fun character and the fans like him but it’s not like he’s doing anything that hasn’t been done better elsewhere. Spyder can swear a lot but neither of them were impressive in the ring. This show isn’t getting off to a good start and I don’t think I see it getting better.

Lethal Injection vs. Arrow Club vs. Team AF vs. Lunar Patrol

Elimination rules for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles. This show really doesn’t need another multi person match right now. Since the audio isn’t great, I have no idea what their individual names are and it’s going to be hard enough to remember which team is which. Lethal Injection seem to be the only heels here. Since there are no individual names, we’ll go with Lethal 1 and AF 1 start things off, with AF 1 dancing a lot and giving Lethal 1 a quick spank.

After a lot of dancing, Lethal 1 grabs a wristlock but gets pulled into a waistlock for more dancing. Let’s do a quick summary of the next few seconds: headlock, dancing, shoulder, dancing, hiptoss, dancing, more dancing, neckbreaker, two. It’s off to AF 2 vs. the male member of the Lunar Patrol, the latter of whom seems to be wrestling at half speed. I’m not sure if it’s intentional and supposed to tie into the different gravity on the moon, but it’s really annoying.

Arrow 1 (the woman) and the female Patrol comes in with Arrow 1 grabbing a quick bearhug. That’s broken up so Lunar woman hits a headscissors. Lethal 2 tags himself in and shoves Arrow 1, who shoves him right back. AF 1 finds this HILARIOUS and it’s off to Arrow 2, who loudly shouts to suck his tomahawk. That earns him a hard chop but he’s right back with an even harder one, followed by a double hand chop for good measure. This is HIS reservation you see, though Lethal has some reservations about that and clotheslines him to the floor.

Almost everyone gets sent outside and AF 1 hits a suicide dive. Lunar 2 dives off the top onto everyone as well, leaving AF 2 to load up a dive of his own. Lethal Force double elbows him down though and we settle back into a regular (as regular as a four way can be) structure. A double back elbow sets up an assisted splash for two but AF 2 jawbreaks his way to freedom. Arrow 1 comes in off the hot tag but gets dropped with a double Regal Cutter.

The Lethals stop to flip off the crowd, allowing Arrow 1 to suplex both of them down. Lunar Patrol comes in and sends the Lethals into each other, setting up the female Luna with a rollup to get rid of them at 12:44. The Arrows hit a Russian legsweep/big boot combination for two on the female Lunar with the male Lunar making the save. That just gets him stomped down into the corner but the Lunars double bulldog Arrow 1 for two.

The Lunars get the Arrows into quickly broken stereo Rings of Saturn….as the female Lunar seems to go into a fit in the corner. She shouts that IT WON’T STOP as the Arrows launch the male Lunar into a German suplex for the double pin at 15:15. We’re down to AF vs. Arrow Club for the title shot, with the female Lunar screaming as she leaves. She yells at her partner and stomps him before leaving on her own as we seem to have a bit of insanity.

AF 2 and Arrow 1 slug it out with Arrow’s delayed vertical suplex being broken up with a knee to the head. Arrow 2 comes in for a wheelbarrow suplex into a cutter, followed by a spinning powerbomb for two. It’s off to AF 1 for some superkicks though, setting up a pumphandle powerslam on Arrow 2. AF hits a top rope splash for the pin and the title shot at 18:08.

Rating: C. Match of the night here, despite having no idea who any of these people were. The teams had unique enough gimmicks but they didn’t exactly do anything to make them stand out, save for the cringe inducing tomahawk line. The wrestling was nothing that hadn’t been done better before, but given the circumstances, this was perfectly watchable and didn’t feel long.

We go to the female Lunar’s apartment where the male Lunar comes in to check on her. She screams at him that they keep losing and it’s all his fault as the screen cuts to black. Could be interesting.

LJ Ramos vs. Starlos

Falls Count Anywhere. Ramos (who thankfully has an LJ hat on) comes to the ring in a half clown mask. Starlos is a bit bigger (with 305 on his vest) and the fight starts on the floor in a hurry, as should be the case in a gimmick match like this. They fight over by the merch tables and bar with Starlos stopping for a drink. I believe we get the opening bell as the fans want to know where the referee is. Did anyone check the bar?

Starlos throws him into and then hits him with some chairs before it’s into the ring for the first time. Ramos gets in a few right hands but Starlos crushes him with a splash. The near fall is enough for Starlos to yell at the referee for not being out in the crowd earlier. Some more right hands gives Ramos two as the pace slows down a lot. A running hip attack in the corner hits Starlos and it’s time to go outside again.

Starlos gets posted but avoids a chair shot, only to have Ramos slug away back inside. A sitout powerbomb gets two and a slam Starlos slams him onto a chair. The big elbow only hits chair though and Ramos grabs a double arm DDT onto the chair for a big crash. Ramos can’t cover though and Starlos rolls outside to save himself. With the chair not working, Ramos grabs a bat, only to get a chair pelted at his head. Cue Tank Engine Thomas to beat Starlos down though and a bat shot to the head gives Ramos the pin at 10:41.

Rating: D. I wasn’t feeling this one as it was a low motion fight with the Falls Count Anywhere part not adding much. It would have been fine as a street fight perhaps but I was expecting more from the gimmick. This is also a situation where commentary would have helped as we could have heard why Thomas interfered. I don’t know if it was expected or a surprise and that takes away whatever impact it could have had.

Tag Team Titles: Johnny Savoi/??? vs. Uninvited

The Uninvited (Oliver Grimsley Alex something I can’t make out) are challenging and Alex spits beer in Savoi’s face during the entrances. Savoi doesn’t have a partner to start so the beatdown is on with one VERY excited Alex fan cheering him on. They get inside for the opening bell and it’s a Backstabber into a Codebreaker for a double one finger cover. Cue someone named Jack Jameson to I’LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU from Mulan, making him the most awesome thing on the show so far.

Jameson cleans house and we even go old school with a double noggin knocker. Savoi is back up as well and posts Alex as Jameson works on a wristlock inside. We settle down to Savoi dropping an elbow for two on Grimsley but it’s quickly off to Alex. That means Savoi’s fingers are bent backwards and Grimsley’s elbow to the back of the head gets two. An enziguri hits Grimsley and a Falcon Arrow gives Savoi two of his own.

Jameson shouts for a tag, even giving Savoi some directions to get to the corner. It’s better than most places you try to get to. The tag goes through but the referee doesn’t see it for one of the classic tag tropes. Alex is right back in with the stomping and the suplex gets two. Like a true heel, Alex reaches Johnny’s hand over for a tag to taunt Jameson rather well. A bit too much trash talking (“Get up you Instagram w****!”) lets Johnny get in a right hand but Alex knocks him right back down.

Alex even yells at the referee in the corner but the power of rhythmic clapping starts Johnny’s comeback. An enziguri drops Alex but Grimsley is back in to knock Jack off the apron just in time. Another enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Jameson and house is cleaned in a hurry. Alex offers a quick low bridge though and it’s Jameson in trouble again. They must have a thing against face comebacks.

Jameson slugs away at Alex until it’s a quick tag off to Grimsley. Savoi low bridges Alex to the floor though and Jameson small packages Grimsley to retain out of nowhere at 12:10. The announcer isn’t sure if that means new champions or the champions retain but Savoi came in with a belt so we’ll say retaining.

Rating: C+. This was more like it as the company seems to be better at tag matches than singles. They told a story here with Savoi needing help and Jameson coming to his rescue, though the very sudden ending wasn’t the best thing they could have done. I’ve seen Grimsley before and he can do more than he did here. Alex was good at cutting off the ring and yelling here and he made me want to see the champs make a comeback. Rather nice match here, at least on a sliding scale.

Post match Alex yells at Grimsley for spending too much time painting his face and the brawl is on. Cue Ramos and Thomas to beat Grimsley down though and a lot of screaming ensues. Alex calls Grimsley selfish and lays him out with a quiet right hand. Grimsley is OFFICIALLY uninvited.

The trio leaves and Grimsley grabs the mic, saying that Alex isn’t Han Solo so he isn’t shooting first. He compares Thomas to Chewbacca and LJ to “Little Jar Jar” and the fans aren’t impressed. Grimsley started the Uninvited and promises to succeed without them. Where was Alex while Grimsley was fighting 2 Cold Scorpio and Adam Cole? Next month he wants Alex in a Loser Leaves Town match with the loser being permanently UNINVITED. The Star Wars stuff was horrible but he picked it up at the end.

Chairizona State Title: Ray Basura vs. Zicky Dice

Basura is defending and has an entourage including two masked men. He also wears a crown and looks like he’s the king of trash (which is what Rey Basura would mean in Spanish) so it’s certainly a unique gimmick. Zicky on the other hand is introduced as the Best Midcard Wrestler In The World. Indeed Basura is billed as the Trash King and I’m oddly fascinated by this guy. He’s even covered in dirt and mud for a nice bonus.

Basura gives him a chance to bow instead of fight but Dice invites him to his crotch. The forearms to Dice’s head start things off as the bespectacled (awesome word) referee can’t handle the stench from Basura. Dice pulls…..some tape out of his mouth? I think? Either way he knocks Basura outside and flip dives onto everyone. They fight up the merch area with Basura slamming him on the floor but Dice gets in a trashcan shot. Shouldn’t that make Basura feel better?

The trashcan goes over Basura’s head and gets hit with a chair as a fan shouts that this is No DQ. I mean, maybe that comes with the CHAIRizona part of the title but they might want to clarify things. Back in and Basura chokes on the ropes and hits some alternating back elbows in the corner. A missed charge lets Zicky get two off a German suplex but Basura gives him a slingshot wheelbarrow suplex for two of his own.

Dice is right back with a bridging northern lights suplex for two more. I never would have guessed that the King of Trash vs. a guy named Zicky Dice would turn into an exchange of suplexes but wrestling can surprise you that way. A powerslam gives Basura another two but he gets caught on top for a superplex.

The minions come in so Dice deals with them in a hurry, sending Basura into the corner to crush them. A triple Cannonball gets two on Basura but he rakes the eyes to slow Dice down. Basura’s chokeslam is broken up (Fan: “YOU AIN’T UNDERTAKER!”) and Zicky plants him for two. Zicky heads up top but gets shoved off by a minion, allowing Basura to hit White Noise to retain at 10:17.

Rating: C-. The gimmicks helped this a lot as Basura is a heck of a unique character and Dice has enough charisma to carry up the fact that he’s overweight and has a rather terrible look. That’s the kind of thing I love to get from a promotion like this as where else can you find a guy named TRASH KING? There’s something cool about that and it’s kind of awesome to see.

Post match the minions crown Basura again.

Mikey vs. Effy vs. Suede Thompson

Dang it with the multi person matches. Mikey runs around the ring and dives into some fans’ arms during his entrance. The fans seem split between Mikey and Suede (who I think I’ve seen before) here and it takes some time to get to the bell. Mikey bails to the floor to get a kiss on the cheek from a fan so Suede goes outside to get one of his own.

Effy goes outside to get is own, but instead pulls a dollar out of his trunks and tells the woman to go get him a Diet Coke. She puts the dollar back in the trunks but Suede shouts that we’re starting. Hold on again though as Suede goes outside and steals a fan’s Smoking Skull Title. That’s going to be on the line and the referee even holds it up….so we can have a second bell. There was no contact in the first three minutes so why not.

Smoking Skull Title: Mikey vs. Effy vs. Suede Thompson

The title is vacant coming in….I guess? It’s a three way test of strength to start, which is the first contact between any of them. That’s broken up and Suede kisses Effy to freak him out. Suede: “Is there a problem?” Mikey and Effy kick him in the ribs and tell him that they respect kisses before kissing him on the cheek. It’s a triple knockdown but none of them can do a nip up, at least not without the referee’s help.

Effy demands that Mikey chop him as hard as he can so Mikey obliges as Suede chills on the floor. Mikey hammers away in the corner and offers a spank when Effy tries a headscissors out of the corner. The referee gets headscissored instead, with Effy’s crotch rubbing against his face for a long time. Suede is back in for the big exchange of rollups and a bunch of near falls. Then the referee gets rolled up for two, with Suede getting two and thinking he won for some reason.

We take an informal crowd poll to determine if it was two or three as this is going WAY too long. Mikey finally starts punching the two of them but misses a top rope splash which took a long time to set up. The fans keep calling Effy “daddy” as he suplexes Mikey for two. Suede is back up with a clothesline for each of them before putting Mikey on top for some back raking. The referee says you can’t do that and it turns into the Thriller Dance as he explains what can’t be done.

In the next convoluted spot, Mikey gets tied in the Tree of Woe with Effy pulling Suede from the floor, meaning their faces wind up in each others’ crotches. Effy’s belly to back gets two on Mikey and a Rough Ryder gets the same on Suede. Mikey goes up top with Effy in front of him, so Suede runs at the corner and climbs onto Effy’s back for a superplex.

It’s Effy back up with a Fameasser for two on Mikey and a reverse Fameasser out of the corner gets the same on Suede. Good grief just END THIS THING already! Suede hits a hanging piledriver on Effy but gets small packaged by Mikey for the pin at 11:00 (or 14:01 if you count the first part).

Rating: D-. This was the kind of match where they might as well have had a big sign over their heads that said COMEDY in bright letters. It was funny in small doses but it went on far too long and just wasn’t funny for the most part. You can do comedy in certain doses but “HAHA THAT LOOKED GAY” gets old in a hurry. It was comedy but not good comedy, which is often a really bad idea, like it was here.

Party Hard Multiverse Title: Shane Marvel vs. Party Ranger

Marvel is defending and the Ranger is in a knockoff Power Ranger costume. Ranger tries to do a standing backflip during the Big Match Intros but Marvel jumps him from behind and the fight is on in a hurry. A dropkick puts Marvel on the floor and that means a big flip dive. Ranger hits a spinning kick to the head and they head back inside but Marvel rolls back outside to avoid a dive.

Therefore, Ranger flips over the top to take him down again as Marvel doesn’t seem too bright. Ranger has a bunch of fans clear out of their chairs so he can throw Marvel through them. Now that’s just being messy dude. A running shooting star off the balcony makes some glancing contact as the fans chant PARTY HARD. Back in and Marvel kicks the leg out, meaning the target is acquired.

That means some kicks to the leg and a leglock, with Marvel telling a fan to shut their f’ing mouth. Fan: “DON’T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!” The leg gets crushed on the ropes but Ranger uses the good leg to hit an enziguri. Marvel is right back up and starts tearing at Ranger’s gear (dude that’s probably not cheap), including the mask. A shinbreaker takes Ranger right back down for two and it’s more of the gear being ripped up. With the leg stuff played out, Marvel takes him up top for the superplex and a double knockdown. That one crash, the lesser of the two, shouldn’t get them this close to even.

The mask is torn as Ranger wins a slugout and hits a German suplex. A Pele connects and it’s an ax handle to give Ranger two. What looks to be a reverse fisherman’s buster, the Party Foul, doesn’t work as the knee gives out so Ranger hits him in the face instead. Marvel is back up with a running White Noise for two and a neckbreaker for some trash talking.

Ranger slips out of a curb stomp attempt and sends Marvel into the corner. A shooting star press takes WAY too long to set up (with Marvel nearly standing up before it even launches) and Marvel catches it in a cutter for two. The curb stomp gets the same and the yelling at the referee lets Ranger get his own two off a rollup. Marvel goes right back to the knee though and another curb stomp retains the title at 16:17.

Rating: C+. I got into this one a lot more than I was expecting to as Marvel is a bigger (taller, not overweight) guy and played well against the smaller Ranger. Marvel isn’t a great heel or anything but he played his role here and made the match work. The ripping up different parts of the costume was a change of pace too as everyone goes for the mask most of the time. Good match here and it felt like a bigger deal.

Post match Marvel takes the mask as a trophy. Marvel grabs the mic and tells us to come to the pancake breakfast tomorrow when he massacres someone else. He doesn’t like people who like pancakes so he’ll destroy Mikey tomorrow. That sounds like a train wreck.

We see some clips of the pancake breakfast and…..yeah I’m good.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a VERY indy show and you have to keep something like that in mind for such a show. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen or really close to it, but the lack of commentary and characters who only stand out at times made it a pretty long watch. The party aspect was rather light here too and the name didn’t do the show much good. This wasn’t a terrible show, but it’s nothing I’m going to want to come back to later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 6, 2019
Location: Little Caesar’s Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the final show before Summerslam though it feels like we could have another month’s worth before the show. A lot of the feuds have felt like they’ve been rushed on the way there so hopefully they can take care of something tonight. The big story is Shane McMahon on the Kevin Owens Show because of course it’s Shane. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Charlotte to open things up. She talks about how great she is, making her the real greatest of all time. Charlotte is here every week because she wants to be great but Trish is just here for one more match. Someone truly great would not have ran away as the Women’s Revolution came. The athletes of today are far superior to those of Trish’s era and on Sunday, Charlotte can prove it.

For tonight though, here’s a video of Charlotte’s greatest moments. Hang on though as the video is about Trish, who comes out with a smile. Trish talks about how she wants to come back to prove it to herself and her family. We get a quote from Harley Race, who says there is no better place in the world than underneath those bright lights.

We look back at last night’s Ziggler/Miz/Shawn/Goldberg segment.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Ziggler does a full Goldberg entrance (minus pyro of course) and jumps Rey before the bell. A superkick leaves Rey laying and there’s no match.

Ziggler rants about how he just took out another legend (he’s not a good Randy Orton either) and promises to make Sunday Goldberg’s last match. Cue Ali and we have a replacement.

Ali vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ali nails a spinwheel kick and a suicide dive and we take a break before the bell. Back with Ali making a comeback and striking away, including a high kick to the head. The rolling X Factor gets two but Ziggler flips him over with a clothesline. Sweet Chin Music misses and Ali gets two off a rollup. The superkick finishes Ali at 1:46 shown. Having Ziggler be an Orton/Mysterio/Michaels hybrid isn’t going to make me care about him.

We look back at the attacks on Roman Reigns.

We look back at Brock Lesnar attacking Seth Rollins last night and Rollins promising to beat Lesnar.

We get a sitdown interview with Reigns, who isn’t sure how to handle someone he can’t see attacking him. WWE has been offering him personal security but he’s a man who isn’t doing that. The big question is who is behind this. Reigns doesn’t know, but he apologizes to Samoa Joe for accusing him. The attacker is still out there and he’s getting answers tonight.

Here’s the Harley Race tribute video. If there is a more universally revered name, I can’t think of it off the top of my head.

Ember Moon vs. Natalya

Moon kicks her in the face to start and hits the running Downward Spiral. Natalya bails to the apron to avoid the Eclipse but pulls Moon down into the Sharpshooter on the floor. That’s a double countout at 1:23.

Bayley runs out for the save.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show with Owens wasting no time in calling out Shane McMahon. Shane comes out and has Greg Hamilton do the intro, which Owens cancels in a hurry. Owens has been asked a lot of things over the last few weeks, as the fans are wondering why Shane’s career isn’t on the line as well. The answer is simple: he’s a McMahon and can do whatever he wants. Owens has an appeal to Shane though: put up his career against Owens and give the fans what they want.

That’s not happening as Shane has Owens where he wants him. Shane talks about how he could beat Owens in a variety of ways but Owens calls him out for a lack of testicular fortitude. They’re ready to fight right now but here’s Elias for a distraction. They head outside with another Elias distraction earning him a Stunner on the announcers’ table. That’s enough for Shane to get in some shots from behind and turn the announcers’ table on him. Shane dropkicks a chair into his face to leave Owens laying. Shane got to talk here and it was like a terrifying flashback.

Here’s Sami Zayn to talk about Aleister Black. Sami offered Black a gift by picking a fight to him but Black has locked himself in a dark room where he can be safe. Mr. PICK A FIGHT WITH ME doesn’t want to fight Sami at Summerslam because he’s terrified of what is coming. Cue Black, who talks from his rising platform, saying the match is happening now instead of at Summerslam.

Sami Zayn vs. Aleister Black

Black kicks him down to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Sami hammering away and getting some near falls off a clothesline. Black’s strikes are cut off with a backbreaker and a chinlock, which lasts all of a few seconds. Black is right back up with the running strikes to the head and a standing Lionsault drops Sami again. Black Mass finishes Sami at 5:49. Not enough shown to rate but this was a definitive win for Black.

Shelton Benjamin is asked about competing for the 24/7 Title. Shelton: “Well.” This has been the WWE writers amusing themselves.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House. As Huskus the Pig eats a bunch of chocolate, Bray pops in to say Finn Balor isn’t scared of anything. That sounds like ignorance in disguise because Finn invited the Fiend to his doorstep willingly. Bray gets serious and seems to be having trouble controlling himself. The Fiend is coming so let him in.

Elias makes fun of Chad Gable for being short and even quotes Randy Newman’s Short People song.

Kofi Kingston talks about getting here in spite of Randy Orton. He was starting to stand out in his feud with Orton but then Orton might have used his influence to hold him back. Now Kofi has succeeded no matter what and he has proven that he is worthy to be here. We see Kofi going back to Ghana to show how far he has come but he wants vindication by beating Orton at Summerslam.

New Day vs. Daniel Bryan/Rowan

Non-title. Bryan goes right after Woods to start but gets sent to the floor for the big flip dive. Back from an early break with Bryan working on Big E.’s arm but getting taken into the corner for the tag off to Woods. That means a wristlock but you don’t do that to Bryan, who easily drags Woods into the corner for the tag off to Rowan. Woods has to chop and punch away in the corner but Rowan hits a running crossbody to knock him down again.

It’s back to Bryan for a cravate on the mat but Woods hits an elbow to the face. That’s not enough for the tag so Woods hits a rolling elbow. Rowan still won’t let the tag go through though and knocks Big E. off the apron. Woods gets tossed over the timekeeper’s area and we take a break. Back with Woods knocking Rowan down so Big E. can come in with the suplexes.

Big E. busts out a Brock Lock but Bryan pulls him down into the LeBell Lock. That’s easily broken up with simple power so Bryan switches it into a triangle choke. That’s broken up with a powerbomb so Bryan brings in Rowan for the spinning kick to the face. Woods tags himself back in as Big E. runs Rowan over. The rope walk elbow connects so Bryan dives over for a save. Big E. spears Bryan through the ropes but Rowan hits Woods with the steps for the DQ at 17:17.

Rating: B-. The ending was the right call here as Bryan and Rowan need to save some face instead of losing another match. I was worried about seeing the champs losing again here but thankfully WWE thought it through instead of having them lose twice in a row. The match was a good back and forth fight too with a good build until the ending.

Post match New Day gets destroyed even worse.

Roman Reigns goes into the locker room and tells everyone to get out….except Buddy Murphy. Reigns saw Murphy there last week near the fork lift and wants to know if he did it. Murphy doesn’t know what Reigns is talking about so Reigns threatens violence. If Murphy knew who did it, he wouldn’t tell Reigns a thing. Reigns punches him in the face and throws him hard onto a table, still asking who did it. Murphy says Rowan did it and he didn’t see Bryan involved. We cut back to the ring where Bryan and Rowan don’t say anything to end the show. That was a little lacking, but points for going with something a bit different.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a show about wrestling as the whole thing was about setting up things for Sunday. That’s what they’ve been needing more of around here, though the ending wasn’t the strongest. It feels like the story needs one more week but since we don’t have time for that, it’s the rushed finish to set up Sunday. The rest of the show did what it needed to do and that’s better than having a bunch of matches that aren’t all that interesting.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Ali – Superkick

Natalya vs. Ember Moon went to a double countout

Aleister Black b. Sami Zayn – Black Mass

New Day b. Daniel Bryan/Rowan via DQ when Rowan used the steps

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

November To Remember 1994
Date: November 5, 1994
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,000
Commentator: Joey Styles

This is one of the promotions I can’t escape no matter how hard I try. It’s a requested show that was just dropped on the Network a few weeks back and since it’s ECW’s flagship event, it’s probably worth a shot. In theory that is as ECW is one of the most unpredictable promotions in the world. Let’s get to it.

This must be the full version as we even see the ring announcer coming to the ring. He lists off some of the names on the card but only one specific match. In something that feels rather un-ECW, he throws some hats to the fans, followed by presenting an “extreme version” of the National Anthem. A guy in an event staff shirt plays the song on an electric guitar and this is always weird to see/hear.

It goes so badly that Paul Heyman and his bodyguard 911 break it up with 911 chokeslamming the guy. Heyman grabs the mic, complains that it doesn’t work, and has 911 chokeslam the guy again. We’re not ready to go yet though as Heyman sends 911 after the ring announcer. That means another chokeslam, with Heyman saying that the guitar playing was terrible and he always hated the ring announcing.

We’re STILL not done though as Heyman hits the announcer with his phone and has 911 hit another chokeslam. We hear Joey Styles asking if the mic is hot and if he is on as Heyman and 911 leave. The announcer has to do a stretcher job as the fans want CPR. We’re clipped to the announcer being taken out and now, over ten minutes in, it’s time for the opening match. I’m sure the live fans liked this but it just kept going.

JT Smith vs. vs. Hack Myers

Myers is something close to a biker and kind of a cult favorite. Smith is from Philadelphia but the fans don’t seem to like him very much. An early hiptoss and fall away slam on the much bigger Myers give Smith two but he misses a dropkick. Myers hits his left hands so the fans can shout SHAH on each one for some reason. A running splash to Smith’s back connects in the corner and it’s a legdrop across the bottom rope.

The first chair shot of the night has Smith in more trouble as we’re waiting on the comeback. That’s some great timing as Smith hits a dropkick on the floor and drops an elbow with the chair. Smith’s running splash sends them over the barricade as Joey talks about how extreme this is. Back in and they trade some rollups for two each, followed by Smith’s bridging northern lights suplex for the pin at 4:03.

Rating: C-. Just a match as Smith clearly didn’t have a future in the company. He was just a guy in trunks who could wrestle well enough and that’s not what this company is all about. Myers was popular but there is only so much you can get out of someone as standard as he was. This probably should have been a dark match but it wasn’t that bad.

Post match Joey again asks if the mic is hot and wants a mic stand.

Bad Breed vs. Pit Bulls

That would be Ian/Axl Rotten and the fight is on before the bell. Pit Bull #2 kicks away at Axl inside but Axl is right back with a clothesline. Ian is sent into the barricade and beaten down with a chair and #2 gets two off a suplex. #1 comes in for a snap suplex on Ian and a flying shoulder puts Ian down again. We actually get a tag to #2 (Was #1 ever legal in the first place?) and it’s right back to #1 for a slingshot shoulder. The SuperBomb finishes Ian at 3:09. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D. This was nothing and felt more like an extended segment than a match. The Pit Bulls were a hard hitting team though I never cared for them all that much. They’re far better than the crazy violent Rottens though and I’ll certainly take a short match rather than the nonsense stuff that they would do most of the time.

Post match Axl makes the save with a chain and the Bad Breed beats the Pit Bulls up.

Mr. Hughes vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

A midcard match on any indy show over a period of about seventeen years! Hughes shoves him away without much effort to start and then does it again to prove his point. Styles talks about how Undertaker found out that he can’t go toe to toe with Hughes and it’s so strange to hear another company discussed like this. I know ECW did it all the time but it’s still weird. The fans call Hughes the Shoe Shine Boy as Scorpio can’t get anywhere off a wristlock.

Hughes busts out a leapfrog of all things and starts stomping away to keep Scorpio in trouble. A big clothesline drops Scorpio again and it’s off to a neck crank. Scorpio grabs the tie for a breather and is promptly thrown into the air for a crash to the mat. Back up and some dropkicks put Hughes on the floor but Scorpio leaves a baseball slide VERY short. The fans catch onto it so Scorpio hits a quick dive to get them back. Hughes hits a side slam back inside and drops an elbow to the face for two. Scorpio is back up with some boots to the face out of the corner. The 450 finishes Hughes at 7:38.

Rating: D+. They told a simple story here and while it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world, you could figure out exactly what they were trying to do. Scorpio is one of my all time favorites though and seeing a 450 in 1994 is insane. They did the comeback in a hurry and Hughes was a monster for Scorpio to slay, so it was a nice enough story. Not well done that is, but nice enough.

Post match Hughes destroys Scorpio and says that’s what happens when you mess with him. Hughes leaves and Scorpio calls him Mr. Shoe Shine Boy and says he just lost. The fight is on again for the second time in a row. Styles: “Can anyone stop Mr. Hughes???” Uh yeah, I think his name is Scorpio.

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Tommy Dreamer vs. Tommy Cairo

Winner gets the name Tommy. Ok not so much but would that stipulation surprise you around here? Cairo is one of the holdovers from the old days of ECW and mocks the recently blinded Sandman (blinded by Dreamer in an accident). Dreamer is fighting for the Sandman and the fight is on with Dreamer going right at him while the music is on. A spinwheel kick puts Dreamer on the floor and Cairo hits another out there.

Dreamer gets in some chair shots and takes him back inside for a rather delayed piledriver. They head outside again with Dreamer being handed a canoe paddle. I’ve seen far weirder things around here. Cairo seems to miss a dive off the barricade as they fight into the crowd. A running wooden pallet shot drops Dreamer, who is right back up with a pallet shot of his own.

They get back inside with Dreamer hitting a neckbreaker and taking off his shirt (egads) for some choking. Cairo is right back up with a standing flapjack (I kind of like that) but stops to mock Sandman again. It’s Singapore cane time but Dreamer takes it away and canes him in the head. The blood starts to flow and Dreamer hits him low (with Joey’s voice going higher). Dreamer licks the blood off of his hand as Cairo is mostly dead, meaning the referee stops it at 8:23.

Rating: C-. This was much more of a wild brawl and that’s where it makes more sense. There is a story behind this one as Dreamer is fighting for Sandman, who had issues with Cairo. It ties into the backstory and that makes the violence mean something. That’s one of the places where ECW missed the point a lot of the time and it caught up to them, but it made sense in a situation like this one.

Post match Dreamer gets in a few more shots and Cairo isn’t moving, meaning it’s another stretcher job. Cairo isn’t being carried out though and walks off.

ECW World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Ron Simmons

Simmons is challenging and says he’s never liked this city, but he’s taking the title. The fans chant something negative about Ric Flair, much to Shane’s delight. Simmons goes straight after him but gets dropkicked down for an early two. Douglas gets chased to the floor and it’s time to hit the stall for a bit. Back in and Simmons headbutts him down in the corner, sending Shane back outside for another breather.

Shane is back in again with a crossbody as we hear about those cowards Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan not answering Shane’s open challenge for an ECW Title shot. The staredown is on outside with Shane hiding behind a photographer. Simmons swings at him (and over her) anyway, followed by a clothesline on the floor. Back in (again) and the powerslam plants Shane, followed by a gutbuster as the slow beating continues. A top rope splash misses so Simmons hits a chokeslam of all things. The fans want 911 but Shane is right back up with a crucifix to retain at 6:46.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than a minor novelty as, just like in Scorpio vs. Hughes, it was mostly one sided until the finish. It’s not a good sign that we’ve had the same match structure twice in about an hour but Heyman wasn’t always the most versatile in-ring booker of all time.

Post match the beatdown is on again with Scorpio running in to help Simmons beat Douglas down (Simmons being known as someone who needs help in fights) and hitting the moonsault. Simmons and Scorpio leave but Cactus Jack, who doesn’t like Shane, of all people comes out to check on him. Shane takes a LONG time getting out of the ring.

Here’s the still blind Sandman, helped to the ring by owner Tod Gordon, for a chat. Styles is choking up at how sad it is for Sandman to be like this. Gordon is sad as well, as a cameraman gets in the ring for a closeup but we stay on the regular shot, meaning we can see the whole cameraman but about half each of the other two (it looks like some bad student film).

Thankfully he leaves and Sandman talks about having to retire at 31, but he’s beaten the daylights out of Tommy Cairo and he’s taken Tommy Dreamer to an inch of his career. He wouldn’t change a thing though, even if he’s lost everything. One of the things he’s lost is his wife, which is all thanks to Nancy Sullivan (Woman). We hear about some of the things he’s done to his wife and Cairo, who stole her, can’t accomplish those same things.

Cue Sandman’s wife Peaches, who doesn’t know if she should slap him or kiss him. She says she’s changed a little since he last saw her, which he thinks means she’s put on weight. A reconciliation seems possible but here’s Nancy to interrupt. She wants to introduce her newest client but canes Peaches in the head first. Sandman punches Gordon by mistake and here’s Dreamer to calls Nancy off.

As Dreamer yells, Sandman takes the bandages off of his eyes and canes Dreamer because he is Nancy’s new client. That should be a heel turn but the fans seem rather pleased. Nancy mocks Dreamer’s recent emotional speeches about Sandman and Joey is aghast. Sandman gets in some whips with his belt as Nancy is having a ball gloating over this. Oh and in case it wasn’t clear: Nancy is managing Sandman. What we got here was good, though I can imagine it having a much stronger impact if I had seen all of the build.

Joey brings out Shane Douglas for a chat. Shane, holding a phone, talks about never feeling anything like what he has felt tonight. His career was unparalleled in ECW but then he saw entertainers in Chicago destroying what he spent fourteen years building. That would be a person named Terry Bollea, who is already on Social Security. Part of his success in ECW is because of blood, sweat and tears, but it was also due to a beautiful woman.

Tonight he fought someone who was the first black heavyweight champion but that means nothing to Shane. Then 2 Cold Scorpio got involved after Shane beat Simmons. Now it’s time to rebuild the Franchise and that’s why he has Sherri on the phone. He wants her back here two weeks from tonight and Sherri says it’ll be great to be with a man again. On top of that, he’s bringing in a partner to deal with Simmons and Scorpio: Stunning Steve Austin. Shane isn’t losing to an ex-WCW Champion.

Dean Malenko vs. Tazmaniac

Dean’s TV Title isn’t on the line and of course that is the future Taz, though he is still kind of a caveman here. He does have TAZ on his singlet though. We get Big Match Intros, including one for Dean’s manager Jason. They fight around the ropes to start with Taz taking him down and hammering away, setting up the first northern lights suplex. Dean is right back up with a release tiger bomb and the Boston crab goes on, with the fans seemingly grunting for Taz.

That’s broken up with some power so Dean stomps away instead. They trade full nelsons until Taz hits a t-bone suplex. Dean comes back with a victory roll for two but an attempt at a second is countered into a German suplex to put them both down. It’s Dean going up (Huh?) and getting crotched, only to elbow his way out of a German superplex attempt. Jason tries to get in a few cheap shots and gets whipped into the barricade for his efforts. The distraction lets Dean grab a towel to cover Taz’s face, which is enough for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it was more of a collection of matches with a finish instead of anything that tied together. Malenko was a good choice for this role and offered a different style, though you could see that they wanted to do something with Taz. Maybe under a better gimmick and after a horrible neck injury.

Taz is out and needs help as there was something on that towel. Medics come out and Joey smells chloroform. Some smelling salts wake Taz up and he wrecks a bunch of stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Public Enemies vs. Cactus Jack/Mikey Whipwreck

Jack and Whipwreck are defending and it’s a weird set of rules where you have to put someone down for ten before you can go for the regular pin. Also after the ten count, you can use baseball bats. That’s quite the complicated rules, though Johnny Grunge grabbing his crotch takes away some of my focus for a few seconds. Mikey is of course scared to death, as tends to be his custom.

Hang on though as we need to have Rocco yell at the crowd a bit, followed by some standing around. There’s no contact for the first two minutes, though they are at least going through with the pretense of a tag match to start. The stalling continues as Public Enemy decides to walk so the referee starts the ten count. They come back so Mikey’s shoulder block can fail, giving us the first action at just shy of four minutes.

Mikey gets sent into a boot in the corner and a middle rope elbow crushes him. Grunge isn’t about to let the referee count so he drops a headbutt and kicks Mikey low. A gordbuster drops Mikey again so it’s Cactus coming in to save him from a bad case of destruction. Cactus whips Mikey into both of them as Mikey continues to be little more than a toy here. Mikey is so beaten up that he collapses for an eight count, leaving Cactus to clothesline both of them down at once.

Rock kicks Cactus low and Grunge crotches him on the barricade for a bonus. That leaves Mikey all alone and it’s a reverse DDT into a Swanton (the Drive By) for nine. As the count goes on, Cactus comes in and cleans house with a chair. A double arm DDT isn’t enough for the ten count so Public Enemy comes up with powder into Cactus’ face. Mikey fights back with forearms to both, including the bloody Grunge.

The blind Cactus DDTs Mikey by mistake though and that’s good for a ten, meaning it’s time for some baseball bats. Mikey gets laid out with the bat but all four walk up the aisle and fight over to some nicely placed tables. Two of them are stacked up on top of each other but Sabu breaks up a flip dive to put Mikey through them. 911 and Heyman come out, with Sabu sending Rock through the tables.

Mikey is back up and uses a chair to beat on the pieces of tables near Rock. Cactus and Grunge are back as well with Cactus suplexing Rock onto a table. The running elbow off the balcony puts Rock through the table and everyone is done. We hear about Mikey diving onto Grunge and let’s head back to the ring for some fun. Grunge sunset flips Mikey for two, followed by a top rope baseball bat shot to the face for the pin and the titles at 15:15.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I thought I would, even if there was nothing involving tagging or wrestling for the most part. The dives and carnage were good enough though and the fans cared about Public Enemy. Mikey and Cactus were a good oddball team and it made both guys look better than I was expecting. Nice enough here, assuming you’re not a traditionalist.

Gordon runs down the card for the next show, including Dreamer vs. Sandman with Cairo as guest referee. Hang on though as Cactus comes in to say how tough Mikey is. He’ll be back in two weeks also, with Kevin Sullivan as his partner to challenge for the titles. Also, Tazmaniac/Sabu vs. Dean Malenko/Joe Malenko. Plus the aforementioned Austin/Douglas vs. Scorpio/Simmons.

Sabu vs. Chris Benoit

This is an infamous one. They go right at each other with Benoit kneeing him in the ribs and dropping him ribs first onto the top rope. Then Benoit lifts him up and drops him down on top of his head, breaking Sabu’s neck (for the first of two times in ECW). Since HE BROKE HIS NECK, the match is stopped at around 1:40. Of note: that is how Benoit got the name the Crippler.

As medics tend to Sabu, here’s 911 to keep Benoit away from him. Benoit says he wants to fight Sabu and never signed to fight 911. We get some major stalling until Benoit jumps 911 from behind but can’t knock him down. A chokeslam plants Benoit for a pin but here’s Public Enemy with the baseball bats to take 911 down. Cactus comes in to go after the two of them as 911 gets back up. A double chokeslam (with all of four inches of lift) plants Public Enemy.

A bunch of people come out for a big brawl (including Taz looking downright bizarre in flannel) with Taz getting a bat to take out just about everyone. Eventually it’s Benoit and Taz in a standoff as 911 gets a beaten down Heyman out of dodge. Joey signs off but Benoit wants a mic. When that doesn’t work, Public Enemy holds up his arms as the mic is fixed. Benoit wants to know what happened to the great Sabu so here’s Scorpio again. If Benoit wants a fight, he’s right here.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Chris Benoit

Public Enemy jumps Scorpio from behind and Benoit gets two off a powerbomb despite the lack of a bell. There’s the snap suplex as Public Enemy is still messing around at ringside. Scorpio gets in a superkick to send Benoit outside, meaning it’s time to beat up Public Enemy again.

There are even more people at ringside now, making this a glorified lumberjack match. Benoit hits a top rope superplex but Scorpio counters a belly to back superplex with a crossbody. Scorpio gets two off a super victory roll and nails a superkick but they fall out to the floor. Benoit throws him into various things and it’s a double countout at about 5:45.

Rating: D+. I can’t get mad at this one as they were making it up on the fly and had nothing planned. It wasn’t terrible or anything as they’re talented enough to make something work, though it went about as well as it realistically could have. This kind of heel Benoit is just weird to see but he did it very well and I could go for more of it.

Post match Scorpio says we should do that again.

Joey signs off again but we’re STILL not done as Cactus says his thoughts are with Sabu. That FINALLY ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is the kind of company that I can see having a cult following, ESPECIALLY in 1994 when wrestling was entering the dark ages. ECW is best known by the masses for the late 90s when wrestling had recovered, but this was a completely different feeling where you could see how effective it could be. It’s certainly not for everyone (including me) but I get the idea here and some parts of the show were really interesting. The hardcore felt more well timed here and it didn’t dominate the night. Not a great show by any means, but you can see the magic that people got swept up in around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,079
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a chinlock as the announcers give us one final hype for Cena vs. Lesnar. Rob fights up for a rolling cradle and the split legged moonsault for two, followed by a superkick to put Cesaro back on the floor. This is Van Dam 101 here, which was the biggest criticism he faced during this time. The Five Star is broken up by a big uppercut but Rob is still able to block a superplex.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

The threat of a superkick sends Miz bailing to the floor as we hear about the Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel match from Summerslam 1992 where it was agreed that neither would hit the other in the face. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Dolph but he gets whipped chest first into the corner as Miz takes over. With his variety of stomps used up, Miz kicks Dolph hard in the face before slapping on a chinlock.

Divas Title: Paige vs. AJ Lee

A top rope clothesline to the floor drops Paige again. The Shining Wizard gets two but Paige kicks her in the face, only to have the Paige Turner countered into the Black Widow. Just like at the Raw after Wrestlemania though, Paige powers out again and scores with the Rampaige for the pin and the title.

Summerslam 2015 will be in New York/New Jersey. That would be slightly changed to Brooklyn

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Speaking of things still going on later, these two are still having the same match the following summer. This is also a flag match, meaning a regular match with the winner getting their flag raised. Lana (rocking the white suit here) and Zeb Colter (remember him?) are the seconds. Before the match, Lana says that Hollywood is a great example of everything wrong with America. In real life, there is no happy ending and America is full of worthless cowards.

Rusev attacks Colter post match and the Russian flag comes down.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Rollins is literally carried back to the ring but Dean is waiting on them with a huge dive off the top. Back in and Dirty Deeds is countered but Ambrose blasts him with the rebound lariat. NOW the crowd is way into things and Dean curb stomps Seth, only to have Kane come in for the save. The lumberjacks get in another fight because they all have anger management issues. Dean dispatches the Wyatts but walks into a briefcase shot to the face for the pin.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Bray serenades us post match.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon, which was a recap I needed when I watched this show live as the whole thing was such a mess. So Stephanie was all evil to Daniel Bryan, but Bryan is on the shelf with his neck injury so the feud was transferred over to Brie, because Brie and Bryan are totally the same thing.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

AJ Lee vs. Paige

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Original: C+

Redo: C

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B

Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C-

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Original: C

Redo: B-

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C+

…http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/17/summerslam-2014-on-the-a-list/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and much like last year, the main event seems to pretty much set in stone. Brock Lesnar is challenging John Cena for the World Title and I can’t see any real reason for Cena to keep the title. There’s always the chance of Rollins cashing in but it doesn’t seem like something that happens. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Rob takes him into the corner to start but gets thrown into the corner himself with pure power. Cesaro charges into a boot though and they head outside with Van Dam hitting a quick Rolling Thunder. Back in and Cesaro just throws Van Dam down as we take a break. We come back with Van Dam caught in a chinlock. A knee drop to Rob’s back gets two but Rob comes back with some clotheslines.

Rob gets two off the split legged moonsault before kicking Cesaro to the floor for an apron moonsault. Back in and the Five Star is broken up by a running uppercut but Rob breaks up a superplex. Another uppercut breaks up another Five Star attempt but once again Rob shoves him off. They do the sequence a third time until Rob finally gets off a cross body, only to jump into another uppercut. The Neutralizer is countered into a backdrop but Cesaro lands on his feet and levels Van Dam with a big boot for two. Not that it matters though as Rob kicks him in the face, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 7:56.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it’s good to see Rob get a win to reestablish his credibility. I guess they can rebuild Cesaro at some point in the future, though I feel like I’ve been saying that for months now. How in the world did he win a big match at Wrestlemania and fall all the way down here?

The show opens with Hulk Hogan coming out to hype up the WWE Network once again, talking about all the shows you can get for just $9.99. Nothing wrong with Hogan opening a show.

The opening video is played like a movie trailer (from Authority Pictures and Follow the Buzzard Films), playing up everyone’s nickname in a nice idea.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and talks about all the movies coming out on his way to the ring. He isn’t a talking turtle or robot, but even Drax the Destroyer would be intimidated by him. Tonight he’s going to turn Dolph Ziggler from a star to the WWE’s version of the Lakers. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler easily taking over on the champion, only to miss a charge in the corner.

A kick to the head gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle so he nails a big boot to quiet them down a bit. There’s the running clothesline in the corner but Dolph blocks a top rope ax handle. A facebuster gets two for Ziggler but Miz avoids the Fameasser and tries to send Dolph outside. Ziggler skins the cat and fakes Miz out on a superkick into a small package for two. The Figure Four is easily countered and a superkick nails Miz in the face for another near fall.

Miz heads outside but gets sent into the barricade, only to slap on the Figure Four back inside. The hold stays on for a good while but Dolph finally makes it to the ropes. Ziggler gets back up and hits the Fameasser out of nowhere but it hurts the knee again, allowing Miz to hit a quick Skull Crushing Finale for two. Miz is stunned, allowing Dolph to hit a Zig Zag out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 8:00.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match but I like the ending coming out of nowhere like that. You could see that the title was going to change as soon as Miz’s finishers didn’t work, but it was still a nice finish. Ziggler getting the title is a good thing as he’s needed a boost for a long time now. Granted he’ll probably lose while holding it over and over, though it’s still better than nothing.

We recap Brie vs. Stephanie/Megan on Raw.

Brie talks about being incarcerated on Monday and thinking about all the times Stephanie has insulted Bryan over the years or tortured Nikki week after week. She says Megan is lying and Brie isn’t going to let this chance slip through her fingers. Tonight she’s going to let the beast out.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

Paige is challenging and these two have traded the title since the night after Wrestlemania. Paige recently turned heel and injured AJ so tonight is her chance for revenge. AJ won’t shake Paige’s hand to start but bites the fingers instead. She pulls at Paige’s hair, sending the British chick out to the floor. Back in and a ticked off Paige chokes on the ropes but AJ kicks her in the face.

Both girls head outside with Paige dropping her face first onto the barricade. Paige takes her back inside and drops I believe a piece of her own hair on AJ’s face. We hit the chinlock on the champion before AJ sends her out to the floor. A BIG top rope clothesline drops Paige again before a bad looking Shining Wizard gets two back inside. Paige kicks her in the face but AJ counters the Paige Turner into the Black Widow. Again Paige counters into Rampaige (fisherman’s DDT) for the clean pin and the title at 5:00.

Rating: B-. This is the physical match that the Divas have been looking for and it was worth the wait. These girls beat the tar out of each other and almost nothing missed the entire time. That Rampaige is a great looking finisher and gives Paige a third finishing move if she keeps the Paige Turner around. Good stuff as this solid rivalry continues.

Sting WWE2K15 video.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

This is a Flag Match, meaning a regular match with the winner’s flag being displayed after the match. Lana talks about how unrealistic Hollywood is, because there will be no happy ending. Swagger comes out with a military escort and a presentation of the American flag. Rusev jumps Swagger before the bell so Swagger puts on the Patriot Lock. They’re finally separated but Lana says Rusev is too injured to wrestle. The referee says ring the bell and Swagger goes after him in the corner.

Rusev is sent outside but Swagger takes him back inside and hammers away. The Russian keeps running so Swagger runs him over with a clothesline on the floor. All Swagger so far. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered with a kick to Jack’s bad ribs. Rusev fires off some shoulders in the corner and puts on a bearhug. Jack can’t belly to belly suplex him and Rusev cannonballs down onto his back again.

Swagger fights back with a running clothesline and a big boot followed by the Vader Bomb for two. The superkick is countered into the Patriot Lock but Rusev quickly rolls out. A hard kick to the ribs has Rusev in trouble and a kick to the face sets up the Accolade. Rusev can’t stand on the bad ankle though so it’s a one legged Accolade instead. Jack rolls over into the Patriot Lock but Rusev rolls over and kicks at the ribs. A spinwheel kick to the shoulder drops Jack again and there’s a Warrior Splash, setting up the Accolade and Swagger is out at 8:53.

Rating: C+. Good match here with both guys bringing their harder games. Swagger looks good by not tapping out and the right guy wins. This should end the feud between the two though and hopefully sends Rusev after Sheamus and the US Title. Does anything else really make sense at this point?

Rusev nails Colter like a true villain would post match. The Russian national anthem is played and the flag is raised.

We recap Rollins vs. Ambrose. They were members of the Shield but Rollins turned on Ambrose and joined HHH. They were scheduled to fight last month, only to have a fight breaking out in the back beforehand. Therefore, Ambrose wanted a lumberjack match.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

It’s a brawl to start with Dean getting the better of it. He stomps Rollins down in the corner and sends Seth outside. The lumberjacks do their job but Dean punches a few of them when he’s thrown outside. Back in and Ambrose is sent face first into the middle buckle and now the lumberjacks give him a beating. Rollins drops a knee for two but runs into a boot in the corner. Seth is able to tie him into the Tree of Woe before sending him to the apron.

Dean suplexes Rollins onto the lumberjacks, including sending Seth face first onto the announcers’ table. The lumberjacks have to break up the brawl on the floor until Dean backdrops Seth over the barricade and into the crowd. Dean dives onto a bunch of lumberjacks and then runs the announcers’ table to get at Seth, even taking out some more lumberjacks at the same time.

They brawl into the crowd as Kane comes out to yell at the lumberjacks for not doing their job. Dean tries to suplex Rollins over a barricade but they’re finally dragged back to the ring by the lumberjacks. Rollins beats up Sin Cara for no apparent reason and tries to leave, but an army is waiting for him at the entrance. They literally carry him back to the ring with Dean diving off the top to take everyone out in a big pile.

Dirty Deeds is countered into an enziguri, but it knocks Dean into the ropes for the Rebound Clothesline. Dean Curb Stomps Rollins (you read that right) but Kane comes in to break up the pin. Goldust of all people gets in Kane’s face and it breaks down into a huge brawl. The referee hasn’t called for the bell so the match is still going. Everyone is cleared out and Rollins hits Dean with the briefcase for the pin at 10:54.

Rating: B. It was awesome while it lasted but I could have gone for another seven or eight minutes. They kept this going very well and the lumberjacks were an interesting idea. There’s no way this is over and there’s a good chance this sets up a rematch for the briefcase, probably at Night of Champions.

We recap Wyatt vs. Jericho. Chris returned a few months back but was targeted by the Wyatts for reasons not entirely clear. Jericho won last month at Battleground but the feud isn’t over, setting up this rematch tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt

The Family is barred from ringside. Jericho takes over with elbows and chops to start, followed by a springboard forearm to put Bray on the floor. Back in and a cross body gets two for the Canadian but Bray sends him out to the floor. Bray drives in knees to the ribs before taking Jericho inside again for some solid shots to the head. Jericho is sent shoulder first into the posts and throat first into the ropes for good measure.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jericho scores with an enziguri. Bray runs him over with ease though and hits the backsplash for two. A dropkick takes Bray down again but he comes back with heavy right hands. Jericho, sporting a nasty bruise on his thigh, takes Bray down into the Walls but Bray is right next to the ropes. Wyatt rolls to the apron and is able to DDT Jericho onto the apron for two.

Now it’s Bray going up top but Jericho counters with a hurricanrana for two. Jericho dropskicks him down again but Bray spiders up. He shouts that he’s already dead but there’s the Codebreaker for two. Bray avoids a baseball slide and sends Jericho into the barricade with Sister Abigail. Back in and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 12:18.

Rating: C. Another pretty good match here with the right ending for a change. Bray getting the pin without the Family interfering is a good sign for him and hopefully the start of something new. It wasn’t a great match or anything but it’s very refreshing to see Bray get a pin on pay per view for a change.

Bray says Jericho learned what it means to follow the buzzards. Singing ensues.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon. This is a complicated story but it boils down to Stephanie being mad at Brie for embarrassing her when she was trying to get Daniel Bryan to forfeit the title. Brie quit instead and ruined Stephanie’s plans. Then Brie got her job back by threatening to sue Stephanie for slapping her and set up this match. Stephanie brought up something about Bryan cheating on Brie and the whole thing is WAY more complicated than it needs to be.

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Stephanie is almost in a black superhero outfit. They slowly shove each other to start until Stephanie stomps away in the corner. Brie comes back with a YES Lock attempt to send Stephanie running outside, but she blocks Brie’s suicide dive with a forearm. Back in and a Hennig necksnap gets two on Brie as the announcers talk about how awesome Stephanie is. She stomps on Brie’s head and cranks on the arms as Brie looks mildly annoyed.

Brie finally kicks her in the face so Stephanie turns on the EVIL FACE, only to get caught by a Thesz Press. Some kicks in the ribs have Stephanie in trouble and a hair drag does the same. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two on McMahon and there are some HORRIBLE looking right hands.

Cue HHH for a distraction but Brie counters Stephanie’s Pedigree attempt into the YES Lock, but HHH pulls the referee to the floor. Brie kicks HHH down and starts a YES chant as Nikki is at ringside as well. Nikki comes in and stops Stephanie from leaving before turning on Brie as almost everyone expected her to. Nikki helps Stephanie up and a Pedigree gives her the pin at 11:05.

Rating: C+. Well you knew she wasn’t going to job. It’s on a bit of an adjusted scale but the match was shockingly good. That being said, it was NOWHERE near enough to justify the push its been receiving. All this to set up the Bellas fighting each other? They really think this is something people are going to be interested in? Dear goodness imagine the promos we’re going to have to sit through. The girls all looked good though.

JBL sums up the entire story: Nikki was fed up with having to deal with the problems Brie caused her. Unfortunately that doesn’t make a lot of sense as the people she joined were the ones beating her up the whole time, but that’s WWE for you.

Package on some guy that won a contest and got to go to the Performance Center and create a character: Mama’s Boy.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton is mad at Roman for costing him the chance to be #1 contender. Roman pops him in the jaw to start and follows up with a headbutt. Orton is sent to the floor and into the barricade but he reverses Reigns hard into the steps. Back in and Orton slams him head first onto the mat before stomping on Reigns’ hand. A big superplex gets two for Randy and we hit the chinlock.

Roman fights up into a chinlock of his own but Orton falls back to break it up. Reigns grabs it again and squeezes very hard, only to get caught in a side slam for two. Back up and Reigns nails a Samoan drop before winning a slugout. Some running clotheslines have Orton in trouble and there’s the apron kick. Reigns is reversed into the post and barricade for two though and the fight goes back outside.

Randy throws him over the announcers’ table but gets caught by a Stunner over the ropes. Orton fights out of a superplex attempt but Roman muscles him up into a top rope Samoan drop for two. There’s the Superman Punch but the spear is countered into a very fast powerslam for a near fall. The RKO is countered but Reigns dives into a second attempt, only to kick out at a VERY close two. I bought that as a finish for a second there. Orton misses the Punt and walks into the spear for the pin at 16:41.

Rating: C. The match was good but not really good if that makes sense. The fact that Reigns was the obvious winner didn’t help, but at least the match was good on the way to the ending. Reigns kicking out of the RKO is a big moment for him as his rise to the top of the company continues. This was by far his biggest win to date.

Summerslam is in New Jersey next year.

We recap Lesnar vs. Cena. There isn’t much to say about this one. Cena beat Lesnar at Extreme Rules 2012 but Brock came back by conquering the Streak. Tonight is Lesnar’s chance at the title.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

Cena is defending and charges right at Lesnar, only to get taken to the mat and pounded. Lesnar fights up and hits an F5 for two in less than thirty seconds. Brock: “THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE JOHN!” A wicked release German suplex sends Cena flying as this is starting like the first Cena vs. Lesnar match. Another one sends Cena across the ring and John is coughing. Brock hammers on him even more and just stares at Cena.

John drives him into the corner and hammers away but a single knee to the ribs puts him back down. Lesnar cranks on a chinlock and slams him head first into the mat as this is totally one sided. He stands on Cena’s hand before throwing him around with more German suplexes. The referee is looking at Cena like he wants to stop it but Cena waves him off. Lesnar hits his fifth or so German as Cena is looking like a ragdoll. The referee keeps checking so Brock suplexes Cena again.

Brock loads up another but Cena fights out with elbows and some clotheslines, only to charge into the F5. Cena escapes and hits a quick AA for two. Brock is down though and Cena has a chance to get a breather. Cena can’t follow up so Lesnar does the Undertaker sit up and smiles at Cena. He even dances a bit and tells Cena to bring it on. Cena gets up and charges at him but gets pounded on the mat UFC style. The referee tells Brock to get off and Cena can barely move. Now it’s rolling Germans and Cena isn’t moving.

Lesnar lets him get back to his senses before rolling even more Germans. This is probably about fifteen total now. Charles Robinson won’t call it off as some idiot fans say this is boring. Brock yells at the referee but Cena trips the leg and puts on the STF. There’s no strength though and Brock just unloads on him. Another F5 gives Brock the Title at 16:07.

Rating: A-. This was a squash. Lesnar demolished Cena and that’s exactly how the announcers are playing it up. This is the killer that Lesnar is supposed to be and the match was total dominance. I have no idea who beats Lesnar but whoever it is will get the rub of a lifetime. Awesome match though not quite as great as the 2012 version.

Overall Rating: A. It never ceases to amaze me how WWE TV can be so horribly dull at times but their PPVs have been on fire this year. Off the top of my head there might have been one show this year that wasn’t somewhere between good and great. This one is on the high end though as nothing was bad and the main event was a sight to behold. Totally awesome show with everyone looking great and setting a really good standard for the coming months. Excellent show.

Results
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
Paige b. AJ Lee – Rampaige
Rusev b. Jack Swagger – Accolade
Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Briefcase to the face
Bray Wyatt b. Chris Jericho – Sister Abigail
Stephanie McMahon b. Brie Bella – Pedigree
Roman Reigns b. Randy Orton – Spear
Brock Lesnar b. John Cena – F5

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6