Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XX (2017 Redo): They Finally Got There

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena gets a big celebration for his first title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Booker T./Rob Van Dam

Booker and Van Dam are defending and this is one fall to a finish. And yes, they really thought calling someone Garrison Cade (just a generic guy who got better later on) was going to get him over. Jindrak is an athletic freak who became a bigger deal in Mexico and La Resistance are Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. Unfortunately this match means we have to hear the AWFUL Booker T./Rob Van Dam remixed theme. Seriously.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

Jericho starts fast and gets rather aggressive on the mat. A belly to back suplex drops Christian as Lawler is cheering for the evil Canadian. Christian gets backdropped to the floor in a big crash and you know the New York crowd is going to be behind Jericho here. Back in and the threat of the Walls send Christian into the ropes.

Tim White tells them that they have “six minutes fellows” so Jericho gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian gets two off his reverse tornado DDT. Christian starts in on the knee and slaps on a Texas Cloverleaf to mix it up a bit.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho on purpose so Christian can lay him out. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage, giving us the eternally awesome evil Trish, who worked in a variety of ways.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Mick is in as well though and things speed up (not normally something you associate with Foley) until Batista drives him into the corner (which you do associate with Batista). A huge clothesline runs Foley over though and Orton whips him HARD into the steps. Back in and Orton grabs a camel clutch for a bit before the rest of the team gets in their shots. Foley does get a quickly broken up Claw on Batista for a hope spot, which is a great way to keep the crowd into things.

Rating: B+. I had a great time with this as it was an exceptional performance, albeit not exactly a great match. This was all about everyone looking great with Rock and Flair clearly having the time of their lives out there. Foley vs. Orton was the real story here and things would get even better the next month when they were on their own. This was a big part of making Orton though, which is where Foley shined like few others over the years. Great stuff here and a fine example of what happens when you have some amazing performers wanting to do their best.

Foley gets up and looks dejected but Rock applauds him.

Gene Okerlund presents the Hall of Fame Class of 2004:

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his son)

Harley Race (that man deserves his own Hall of fame)

Pete Rose (booed but said to be incredibly grateful for the honor)

Don Muraco (underrated)

Greg Valentine (big pop and looks the same as he did in 1983)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (probably the most copied wrestler of his era)

Sgt. Slaughter (the definition of a wrestling character)

Jesse Ventura (BIG pop and well deserved)

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Playboy Evening Gown match (and Smackdown vs. Raw) after Sable and Torrie posed together. They want to have the match in lingerie but Jackie says no so this actually has to take place. Jackie is stripped anyway so all four are in their underwear. I think you know how this is going to go and they hit all of the comedy spots that you would expect. That includes high crossbodies, Stacy doing the leg choke in the corner, sunset flips and the referee getting crushed. Oh and genital jokes from Cole and Tazz. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:32. This was exactly what four non-wrestlers in lingerie was going to be.

Video on international fans coming in for Wrestlemania.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. is defending and this is basically Tag Team Turmoil but with one person at a time. Guerrero is automatically tenth due to being champion and the rest are all randomly chosen. In an interesting move, all ten come out first with Ultimo Dragon tripping on the way in for a funny moment.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

The fans think this match sucks as Lesnar FINALLY grabs a headlock five minutes in. They collide off a shoulder and stare each other down AGAIN, earning a “WE WANT FLAIR” chant. A double shoulder puts both guys down again and the fans are still livid. Goldberg finally grabs him by the throat into a gorilla press into a spinebuster, drawing an actual pop from the crowd.

The spear misses though and Goldberg crashes out to the floor so the fans think he sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex before grabbing a standing choke to keep things slow. Something happens in the crowd and they start chanting for Hogan (probably a look-a-like). Brock gets in another suplex and puts on another choke as the fans have just given up on even trying.

Another double collision puts both guys down again as this is somehow eleven minutes already. Goldberg makes his comeback with clotheslines and a neckbreaker followed by the spear for two. The F5 gets the same and Lesnar stops to jaw with Austin, setting up the spear and Jackhammer to end Brock at 13:43.

It got watchable near the end but they had already given up and taken the crowd completely out of it by that point. I was embarrassed here and that should never happen. Austin was completely innocent here by the way and was stuck in a hard place. Oh and one more thing: WWE IS GOING TO LET THEM DO IT AGAIN THIRTEEN YEARS LATER! FOR THE TITLE!

Fireworks go off outside.

The champs dance post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year on the shelf.

The haircut is STILL going after that package and Molly really is bald.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Undertaker vs. Kane

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

In the real moment of the show, Eddie Guerrero comes out to celebrate with Benoit in the big emotional ending as the confetti falls. This is really, really hard to watch now and makes the show that much more emotional.

A four minute highlight package takes us out.

This is the kind of show that was DYING for a pre-show to burn off two or three of the matches that no one cared about (Tag Team Title matches and the Cruiserweight Open would be great candidates) and let the rest of the show not feel so long. The show itself needed to be about three to three and a half hours long max instead of the four hours and thirty one minutes it clocks in at instead.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: D

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jidrak vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2017 Redo: S (for SEQUEL)

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D-

Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Oh I think we have the definitive rating here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XX (2015 Redo): You Kind Of Have To Like This One

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena sticks and moves to start but Show throws him to the floor with ease. Still mostly uneducated, Cena tries to come back in with a high cross body and gets powerslammed to teach him a lesson. Cole describes a headbutt from Show as being hit in the head with a typewriter. Are there a lot of reports of being hit in the head with typewriters and comparisons to headbutts from large wrestlers?

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Bubba tries a little Flip Flop and Fly but gets kick in the face for his troubles. Van Dam adds one to D-Von and we settle down to Jindrak beating on Booker. Dupree tags himself in and La Resistance takes over with stomps and a bow and arrow from Conway. After far too long in the hold, Booker gets up and grabs a spinebuster, allowing the tag to Van Dam. House is quickly cleaned as everything breaks down. Cade breaks up 3D on Booker but Booker nails the scissors kick on Conway, followed by the Five Star to retain at 7:57.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. This was an awesome story as the two were tag partners who made a bet over who could “nail” Lita or Trish respectfully for $1 Canadian. Lita dropped out of the story pretty quickly but Jericho started to actually fall for Trish. She started to have feelings for Jericho too but Christian hated the fact that she was breaking up the team. Christian beat her up in an intergender match to teach Jericho (a full on good guy by now) a lesson. This started a feud between the two and the big showdown is at Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

The aggressive Jericho controls to start and backdrops Christian from the apron out to the floor in a unique spot. A springboard plancha puts Christian down but he comes right back with something like a belly to back suplex to send Chris out to the floor in a huge crash. A chinlock keeps Jericho down for a bit before they ram heads to keep him down even longer.

Jericho counters into the Walls though and holds on even as Christian crawls through the ropes to the floor. This brings Trish out to ringside as Christian plants Jericho with a DDT. Trish gets up on the apron so Christian drags her in. Jericho goes over to check on her and gets elbowed in the face by mistake, knocking Jericho into a rollup for the pin at 14:56.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but this was much more about the story than the action. This story worked really well all around and everyone comes out of it looking better, mainly because they took their time and let the story build instead of wedging it into a month and then doing one match followed by a gimmick rematch. It makes for a better story and the whole thing works.

Post match Jericho goes after Christian again but Trish holds him back, only to slap him into the Unprettier. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage. This gives us evil Trish which, in a word, worked.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Rating: B. This was great fun with Rock and Flair being the hams that only they can be. They knew they were in the big arena for the smart fans and they played right to them. The real star here though was Foley, who made Orton look like a star here, just as he was supposed to do. They would do that again the next month at Backlash in their big showdown where Foley put Orton over and made him look like a star. Orton would be World Champion in August and these two matches played a big role in getting him there.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony, which made its return after an eight year absence. The line of the night came from Bobby Heenan. After thanking everyone: “One thing is missing. I wish Monsoon was here.” That gets me every time.

The Class of 2004 is brought out for the audience and each gets an introduction: Bobby Heenan (playing to the crowd the entire way through), Tito Santana, Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the fans start cheering before Gene can start talking), Pete Rose (celebrity induction and said to be incredibly humble and thankful for the honor), Don Muraco, Greg Valentine (much bigger reaction than I was expecting), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (loudest ovation of the group in a bit of a surprise), Sgt. Slaughter (USA chant) and Jesse Ventura.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Clips of fans coming from around the world to see Wrestlemania.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a gauntlet match with Chavo Guerrero (with his father Chavo Sr.) defending and going in last at #10. Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon (a Japanese legend who trips twice during his entrance) start things off fast with some near falls until Shannon scores with a belly to back suplex. Dragon avoids a corkscrew moonsault press and grabs the Asai DDT (kind of a standing sliced bread #2) for the pin at 1:17.

Jamie Noble (a country redneck) is in at #3 and blasts Dragon from behind, only to take some rapid fire kicks to the chest. Noble comes right back with a guillotine choke for a submission at 2:15. Funaki comes in at #4 with a high cross body but Noble rolls through into a pin at 2:23. Nunzio (a stereotypical Italian) is in at #5 and lasts a bit better as the fans want their pizza. A quick rollup gets two on Noble and Nunzio gets the same off a middle rope dropkick.

This set up a showdown here with Austin as guest referee to try to hold things together. The problem is word leaked that both guys were leaving as soon as Wrestlemania was over and the fans all knew about it. This could go bad in a hurry, especially in the smarkiest of all smark strongholds.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Another big shoulder apiece puts both guys down as we hit six minutes. Brock gets in the first strike with a kick to the ribs at just under seven minutes. A gorilla press into a spinebuster drops Lesnar but Goldberg misses a spear in the corner. The fans are all over Goldberg now as Brock hits two straight suplexes.

Off to a side choke from Brock to eat up time before they have the nerve to do a double clothesline. Goldberg comes back with more clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a spear for two. Austin and Goldberg argue a bit and Brock grabs an F5 for two. Back up and Goldberg hits a big spear but is booed out of the building. The Jackhammer ends Lesnar at 13:48.

Lesnar throws up two middle fingers (which he later said were to Vince and not the fans) and gets Stunned. Austin throws Goldberg a beer, then throws him two more after he drops the first one. Goldberg is booed out of the building and takes a Stunner, followed by Austin consuming a lot of beer.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

Fireworks go off from the roof of Madison Square Garden.

Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for making Wrestlemania what it is on behalf of everyone who has ever performed for him and his entire family. Nothing else said here but this was a very nice moment.

The champs dance a bit.

Edge is returning from his neck surgery soon.

Molly Holly is ready for her title shot.

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair. Feeling out process to start with Molly taking over in the corner, only to be sent out to the floor. Back in and a quick basement dropkick gets two on the champ and we hit a neck crank. A powerslam gets two for Victoria but Lawler keeps trying to talk about the evening gown match. Molly mostly powerbombs Victoria out of the corner for two but a quick backslide retains the title at 4:56.

Rating: C-. This needed more time as they were flying through the match because they only had five minutes instead of a realistic length. If only there was some other stuff they could have cut out from the show that meant absolutely nothing and just ate up parts of the show. These two were both very talented women and they could have a good match if they were given the chance.

After the long video, Molly is still being shaved and is completely bald. The fans are impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending of course and rides out in a low rider truck. They hit the mat to start with Eddie hanging with Angle at first until Kurt grabs a headlock. A top wristlock goes well for Angle and he shoulders Eddie down for good measure. Back up and Eddie nails a hard shoulder of his own but is still feeling the effects of the arm work.

Angle is FURIOUS.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Kane hated Undertaker for abandoning the dark side and becoming the biker so Kane helped Vince bury Undertaker alive at Survivor Series 2003. This brought back the Undertaker Kane wanted, but this Undertaker wanted revenge for being buried alive. People tend to do that at times.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Side note: so was that stuff with Bischoff sending Coach to find Undertaker just to set up the Heenan/Okerlund bit? Sounds like a bit of overkill.

Backlash ad.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. HHH

The champ gets rolled with some Germans but Shawn crotches Benoit on top. Sweet Chin Music misses the champ and Shawn gets caught in a DDT. That earns HHH a Crossface until Shawn makes the save. Shawn actually tries a German on Benoit and the fans ROAR when Benoit reverses into a trio of them. The Swan Dive gets two on Shawn and all three are down. Benoit is knocked to the floor so we can get the Shawn vs. HHH quota out of the way. Sweet Chin Music is good for two with Benoit making a last second save.

The Vince dark room video and part of his speech take us to the highlight package.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2015 Redo: F

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XX (2013 Redo): He’s Back

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Rating: C. Slow match but this was a good choice for an opener. The fans were WAY into Cena as he was rapidly becoming the hottest thing in the company (until the rise of Batista of course). The FU was a great visual to open things up as fans are always going to react to freakish displays of strength like that. Good opener here and the fans are hotter than they already were, which is the right idea.

Coach is in the back talking to various people before going in to see Eric Bischoff. Eric sends him to find Undertaker.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Booker T/Rob Van Dam

Trish agreed to just be friends but Christian started hitting on her. Bischoff made Christian vs. Trish with Christian agreeing to lay down for her. Christian decided to show some tough love by putting her in the Walls of Jericho, setting up Christian vs. Jericho tonight with Jericho fighting for the honor of his love. This is one of my favorite feuds.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho charges into an elbow into the corner and gets taken down by a reverse tornado DDT for two. The reverse DDT into a backbreaker puts Jericho down again but Christian goes up and gets crotched. He blocks a superplex though and hits a top rope cross body, only for Jericho to roll through for two. This is solid stuff so far. Christian kicks Jericho in his injured knee and puts on the old school Texas Cloverleaf. In an impressive counter, Jericho gets underneath Christian and rolls through into the Walls but AGAIN Christian makes the ropes.

Jericho takes it to the floor and puts on the Walls out there before having to break the count. Back in and a butterfly superplex gets a VERY close two on Christian as Trish comes bouncing down the aisle. An inverted DDT puts Chris down for two and Christian spots Trish. He drags her into the ring but Jericho makes the save. Not being able to see though, Trish blasts Jericho in the face, allowing Christian to hook a quick rollup for the pin.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho before slapping him, turning into EVIL Trish. Christian lays out Jericho and leaves with the girl. Evil Trish was SMOKING hot and we would get to see a lot more of her as this feud continued for months.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Foley wants to come in to face Orton but Randy immediately bails to the floor to great heat. We finally get inside for the fight that people want to see as Foley pounds away and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. Off to Rock who punches Orton in the “stomach” before clotheslining him down for no cover. Ric gets clipped in the back of the head by Flair which draws him into the corner, sending the fight to the floor. Batista drops Rock face first onto the barricade to take over.

We get some clips from the Hall of Fame induction ceremony last night which is the first class inducted in eight years. Heenan wishing Monsoon was there still makes me smile.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

We hear from some fans who are excited to be here.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Shannon Moore, Akio, Tajiri, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman, Nunzio

Jamie Noble is in next and after avoiding a moonsault, he hooks a neckbreaker and a guillotine choke to put Dragon out. Funaki comes in and gets small packaged for the pin less in about three seconds. Nunzio is in and takes Noble to the mat in a hurry before being sent out to the floor. Noble hits a sweet flip dive off the top to the floor and rams Nunzio into the apron for a countout. Billy Kidman is in next but Nunzio trips him up. Noble heads to the floor as Kidman slides back inside for a Shooting Star off the top to take both guys out.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

The catch here is that both guys are leaving and the fans know it, so they boo them both out of the building. Goldie gets his full entrance from the back. The fans IMMEDIATELY start chanting YOU SOLD OUT at Lesnar who is going to the NFL after this match. They circle each other and Austin says get to it. Now the fans sing the GOODBYE song with the guys still making zero contact over a minute in. The fans chant for the referee as Goldberg looks at Austin. Still no contact. After nearly THREE MINUTES of circling each other they lock up.

Post match Brock flips off Austin and gets Stunned for his efforts. Goldberg has a beer and gets Stunned for good measure.

Wrestlemania 21 is in Los Angeles.

Edge is returning soon.

Victoria is defending and Molly has her hair on the line. The champion has the awesome All The Things She Said as her theme song as is looking sweet in white here. They lock up to start and Molly pounds her down before whipping Victoria into the corner. Victoria nips up off the mat and sends Molly to the floor but loses control soon thereafter. Back in again as the match is already going slowly.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. Eddie, as a former drug addict, has no business being champion according to Kurt. Guerrero is also in WAY over his head because of how good Angle is. Heyman, the Smackdown GM, hates Eddie for no apparent reason on top of that.

Post video, Molly is VERY bald.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Back in and Eddie takes him down with an armdrag but Angle takes control again with a sweet amateur move into a front facelock. Eddie comes out of it with a series of armdrags into an armbar as the fans applaud again. Guerrero switches over to a keylock but Angle shoves him off and drives a knee into the ribs to take over. Like any good ring general, he follows up on an injured body part with an abdominal stretch.

Rating: A. Great match here with the psychology flowing freely. Eddie was BRILLIANT out there as he had finally took it away from the wrestling game and got Angle out of his comfort zone. The dueling rolling suplexes were a great touch too as neither guy could hit them but it was a battle to try. Great match and well worth checking out.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

The high knee takes Shawn down for two and a less high knee puts Benoit on the floor. Benoit has his back rammed into the barricade but Shawn baseball slides both of them onto the concrete. That is followed up by a big moonsault to the floor to take out all three guys and wow the crowd a bit. Shawn and HHH go back inside but Benoit has to come in with a clothesline to break up a Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post at the hands of the Canadian but HHH ties Benoit up in the Tree of Woe.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with his friend as confetti falls to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

Redo: E

Original: D

Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XX (Original): They Do Anniversaries Right

Wrestlemania 20
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Star Spangled Banner: Harlem Boys Choir

This just feels right. Wrestlemania is supposed to be at MSG. This show is considered to be the show where the new generation took control as Cena debuted, Eddie was defending a title, and Benoit challenged for a title. Sadly, two of them are gone now so those plans have been completely derailed.

This show is the first of the modern HOF induction shows as well as having the first smaller arena show in four years. I’m split on that actually. The smaller shows are better in the sense that it’s more personalized and there simply isn’t a place better than MSG, but the stadiums show off the spectacle more. Really depends on what you like. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful and we go into the opening video. This is definitely the biggest show of all time with major matches and us at Madison Square Garden. The main event is Benoit vs. Shawn vs. HHH which has the problem of Shawn. There is zero point to having him in there but he’s there so that HHH doesn’t have to job to Benoit clean. Whatever I guess.

To end the video we see Vince, Shane and Vince’s grandson, which I believe is the first time Vince’s grandchildren have appeared on WWE programming.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is the rapper at this point and hasn’t really gotten established at all at this point. He had been around a little under two years at this point and had turned mega face. You could see that he had what it took back then but he was being paced along very well. Show is champion coming into this. He was more or less worthless (yeah a stretch I know) as champion here so the ending wasn’t really in doubt.

John does his represent thing before the match starts. Dang you could see the star just trying to break out in him. He does a quick rap about Show and says Show is a gorilla. Cena’s hand is taped up so maybe he’s hurt or something. This isn’t really funny or anything but it gets the crowd going which is the point. Granted it’s a New York crowd so it’s not like it takes much work overall.

The title literally looks like a toy on Show’s shoulder. This is serious Show who has been motivated/focused lately which means he’ll lose a big match soon. Cena tries to get around the power to start which doesn’t really work at all. He gets sent to the floor and needs to rethink his strategy. Show allegedly retired Hogan in this building. Which retirement was that?

A cross body off the top by Cena of course fails as it always has against Show. Cena gets the powerslam that he deserves for being an idiot like that. He hammers away which gets him nowhere other than clotheslined down with ease. They have the picture of the current match on the opposite side from the cameras which is a cool thing to see.

Show suplexes Cena and he goes flying which makes John look like a toy. I know you hear that a lot but it’s true here. Headbutt puts Cena down and Show stands on his back. Cena hammers away but gets kicked in the face to end that. Show adds that standing legdrop that I think is called the Showstopper depending on who you listen to for two. The fans chant for Cena.

Cena tries a sleeper which is broken up rather quickly. This has more or less been all Show. Cobra Clutch by Show and Cena is in trouble. Naturally he just lets it go to put it right back on. Cena fights back with right hands and takes the knee out to send Show’s face into the buckle. FU gets two and Cena isn’t sure what to do now. Cena grabs the chain he brought with him but throws it down to distract the referee. The knuckles he carried with him also winds up going upside Show’s head and Cena has his first title.

Rating: C-. Basic big man vs. little man match here but at the same time, not much going on with it at all. Show dominated and Cena hit like three moves to take over and win the thing. That being said, the fans were into Cena which is the whole point. Not bad but kind of generic overall.

Coach is in the back and runs into some random people that aren’t important before saying hi to Teddy Long. He goes into Bischoff’s office to find he and Johnny Spade. Spade had just gotten a name change from Johnny Blaze. A few weeks later he was Johnny Nitro, and a few years later he was John Morrison. Didn’t realize he’d been there that long. Coach is told to go find the Undertaker, who was redebuting for the 58th time tonight.

Evolution minus HHH is in the back and Orton says he’s going to become a hardcore legend. As a former OVW Hardcore Champion, he’s well on his way. He never did that, but he got close a month later at Backlash. If you haven’t seen that match, go do so immediately. Well worth the 15 minutes it takes up. Anyway we see a clip of Orton hurting Foley back in June as this was almost a year long storyline. Oh and he’s IC Champion. The idea is that Foley is scared of Orton but has a backbone now. Oh and Rock is with him for a handicap match. That always helps.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Wow. You can see the division dying as we speak. The Dudleyz would more or less be gone in four months, save for the One Night Stand main event. We then have the one decent tag team on the brand at the time, and then two generic guys packaged as a “team”. RVD and Booker are your odd combination tag team. This is one fall to a finish. The remix of RVD and Booker’s songs was really quite bad.

Dupree vs. Van Dam to start us off here. Booker comes in quickly and gets a superkick to Renee for two. Bubba is tagged in. Why would you tag out here if it’s one fall to a finish? The Dudleys are faces for this week. The fans already want tables. At least they’re patient as they waited a full minute before starting that chant here.

Ross thinks Booker is a young man. That’s rather amusing. Bubba tries to do the suck on this deal and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. This is more or less RVD/Booker vs. the Dudleys with two other teams in the background. Jindrak gets two on Booker. It’s Garrison Cade at this point too. Who thought that would be a good name? I mean dude, Garrison Cade? Really?

Dupree comes in and La Resistance takes over for a bit. It’s Dupree/Conway in this form of La Resistance as that team changed every few months. No real reason given for why these teams are in here but does it really matter? The fans chant for USA while Conway, the American, is in there. Conway gets an elbow for two, which JR says was opportunistic. How? Isn’t that like doing his job?

Conway uses a bow and arrow hold for awhile to kill some time. Spinebuster gets Booker out of trouble. Wow Van Dam was in a good amount of worthless tag teams. RVD comes in and cleans house. The Five Star is blocked as D-Von shoves him off the top. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker (illegal) vs. D-Von (also illegal). 3D is broken up by Cade and then an axe kick sets up the Five Star on Conway for the champions to retain.

Rating: D. Totally boring match here that should have been on Raw. The division if you want to call it that was completely dead by this point and nothing was going to save it. The titles needed to be unified back then but wouldn’t be until 2010. Weak match that had no need to be on Mania in the slightest.

In the basement, the Coach hears noises coming from behind a door and opens it to find Gene Okerlund trying to get dressed. He tries to explain why he’s there and Bobby Heenan stumbles out half dressed as well. Coach says it’s not what you think. There was a poker game according to Heenan. Moolah and Mae pop out and drag the guys back in where frightening sounds are heard. One of my all time favorite segments.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which was a great storyline. This started with Jericho and Christian betting a Canadian Dollar that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Trish found out about the bet and got all ticked off. Jericho fell for Trish and Christian tried to get his head back on straight. This led to Christian vs. Trish with Christian hurting Trish. Tonight is the grudge match. This was a great buildup and the video has me wanting to see the match years later. That’s a really good sign.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

 

I guess Lita was just dropped from this after awhile for reasons unknown. They lock up for a bit and then Jericho is like screw it and takes Christian down with right hands. Clothesline takes him down again. Christian sends him to the apron but gets backdropped to the floor. All Jericho in the opening few minutes and we get a big Y2J chant.

Jericho hits that springboard cross body to the floor and then sends Christian into the barricade. Back in and Christian’s sunset flip attempt is countered into the Walls. They’re not applied though and Christian is able to get a thumb to the eye and then dump Jericho to the floor. Christian chokes away and talks trash to Jericho at the same time. He’s multi-tasking I guess.

Knee to the ribs by Christian as the fans are surprisingly quiet here. They don’t seem bored though and are instantly back into it when Christian hits a chinlock. I guess they’re interested here. Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out which gets him two. Ah the old hair attack. Haven’t seen that in years. Back to the chinlock but Jericho tries for the Walls again and again they don’t work.

Christian chokes away but Jericho fights back. Off to a neck crank for a second but Jericho is taken down by the hair as he tries to escape. Hey here’s another chinlock. Walls are attempted again and again fails. Spinwheel kick gets two on Jericho. Jericho gets a forearm and a knee to the back as he’s starting a comeback. Running enziguri gets two.

Rollup by both guys gets two and Christian’s had a handful of ropes. Northern Lights Suplex by Jericho gets two. Lionsault attempt winds up eating knees but the Unprettier can’t hit either. Reverse tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Christian. They’re moving a lot more out there now. Backbreaker by Christian and he goes up. Jericho is slammed off and Christian hits a cross body which is rolled through for two by Jericho.

Christian throws on a Texas Cloverleaf and Jericho is in trouble. This is the first time they’ve had a bit of a break in a good while. Jericho breaks that and tries the Walls for the fourth time which doesn’t work either. He finally gets them on the fifth try but on the floor. As Christian tries to get back in he gets caught in a double underhook suplex off the top for two.

And here comes Trish. I’m pretty sure you know how this is going to end but she looks great in a tied off shirt so I can’t complain. Edgecution by Christian gets a long two. Christian drags Trish in and shoves her down. Trish “accidentally” nails Jericho and Christian gets a rollup and the win with it.

Rating: B. Decent match but it could have been a lot more. This was a match where the buildup was better than the match. The feud would continue for a good while though and it continued to be rather solid. Fun stuff here and pure popcorn soap opera stuff which is usually a good combination.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho, turning heel and leaves with Christian. The crowd is TICKED. Trish and Christian kiss to a big reaction as they leave.

Now we get to one of the more entertaining part of the show. Foley is talking about being nervous about having his first match in four years but Rock pops up and cuts him off. He talks about how there’s no reason to be nervous because everyone knows what’s coming. Hurricane and Rosey know it. Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka know it.

But most importantly the people know it. Make sure you get a shot of the people. Rock says let’s go take care of Evolution, if you smell what the Rock (Foley: and Sock) IS COOKING! Funny promo.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Now this has an interesting backstory to it. Back in December, Orton was on his Legend Killer gimmick and called out Foley. Foley got ready to fight him but at the last minute bailed out, allowing Orton to spit on him and walk out of the arena, branding him as a coward. At the Royal Rumble, Orton had made a long run but Foley entered at #21 and beat the crap out of Orton.

The problem with this was that when you go after Orton, you get all of Evolution. Except HHH who had more important things to do than fight two first ballot Hall of Famers. This made it 3-1, so Foley needed help. Rock returns to help his friend, and we get this as the end result. If you ever want to see the match that almost single handedly got Batista and Orton over, this is it. It was them being in there with the big boys and we could see what they can do.

I love the old school vs. new school dynamic here. The Rock N Sock Connection hit the ring and the fight is on. Rock vs. Batista is really weird to see. How weird is it that Rock retired younger than Foley? Rock vs. Flair is something that is just awesome to look at and it officially starts us off here. Rock does Flair’s strut and they lock up.

Out to the floor and Flair slips a thumb into the eye. That gets him nowhere as he gets slammed on the floor and Foley adds an elbow off the apron. Off to Orton now and Foley wants in. Orton bails but Foley somehow catches him and the beating is on. Back in with Foley in control. Rock comes in and punches Orton in the balls and then Flair smacks him in the back of the head.

Rock fights off Evolution but gets caught by Batista on the floor with the power game. Off to Orton vs. Rock in the ring now with Orton hammering away. Make that Batista. He’s not as big as he would get but still gets two off an elbow drop. Flair comes in now and throws chops in the corner. He tries to strut and gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. Well why mess with the basics?

Like an idiot, Flair goes up and gets slammed down. Why is anyone surprised at that? Off to Batista who hammers away. The crowd being all attentive is weird. Rock gets a clothesline to Batista and it’s off to Foley now. Double arm DDT is blocked and it’s a slug out. Running knee in the corner is stopped by a clothesline though. That’s a popular move in this match isn’t it?

On the floor Foley grabs the Claw on Orton out of nowhere. This is a good match so it’s hard to make jokes here. For the 1000th time in his career Foley’s knees slam into the steps with a LOUD bang. Orton in now who hammers away even more. Make that Flair who chops Foley down and then they slug it out. Foley takes him down but Orton comes in for a chinlock/face pull to stop Foley.

Batista comes in as Evolution keeps up that fast tagging. He starts the ground and pound on Foley but Mick slips a hand up and grabs the Claw to break it up. Orton comes in for the save and they keep tagging in and out very quickly. Swinging neckbreaker to Batista buys Foley some time and a double clothesline buys him even more time.

Flair comes in to break up the tag but a shot to the head is enough to bring in Rock who cleans house. DDTs and right hands all around but a Batista spinebuster takes him down. And now Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock nips up while Flair struts and drills him. There’s a spinebuster for Flair and it’s the REAL People’s Elbow, complete with Rock’s 8th strut of the match.

RKO doesn’t work but the Rock Bottom does. Flair makes a last second save and then SPRINTS around the ring to grab a chair. Batista Bomb to Rock which gets two for Orton. Rock manages to bring in Foley and he finally gets his hands on Orton. Foley loads up Socko but takes too long and Orton grabs a quick RKO for the pin. Foley sits up afterwards which I like as it makes it look like Foley got stunned but not knocked out. And that my friends, is how you put people over.

Rating: A. This wasn’t so much a great match but rather a work of art out there. They knew what they were doing and the two old masters made stars out of young guys. This is what you’re supposed to do out there as the old guys look great as well and like I said, it was a quick win rather than a dominating one. The key thing there though was that it was a win. Great stuff and worth seeing for what it means to put someone over.

Rock and Foley get a standing ovation as they deserve.

This year’s HOF class is honored. No big name here except Jesse Ventura. Next year it really picks up though. Heenan breaking up over wishing Monsoon was there with him is a very touching moment. Harley Race and Tito Santana go in too. teases running for President in 2008.

They bring them out into the arena to have Mean Gene do the presentations to the crowd. The full list is Bobby Heenan (can barely talk due to throat cancer. The fans chant weasel and Heenan’s reaction is of course hilarious), Tito Santana (one of the most underrated guys ever despite being considered great), Big John Studd (dead, his son is here), Harley Race (one of the best heels ever), Pete Rose (deserves to be in due to what he did at Mania. He was said to be incredibly gracious about being in so I can live with this).

Back to the wrestlers with Don Muraco (took the Snuka Splash that apparently every wrestler ever was inspired by), Great Valentine (gets one of the biggest pops surprisingly enough. Looks JUST like he did in the ring and still does to this day as far as I know), Junkyard Dog (Also dead, his daughter is here for him. It was her high school graduation that he died on the way home from), Billy Graham (perhaps the most influential heel of all time), Sgt. Slaughter (go watch the Alley Fight with Pat Patterson. Incredible fight), and Jesse Ventura (do I need to explain this one?

What’s the best way to follow that up? With this of course:

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Instead of the traditional rules, this is pinfall. Blast it. This is happening because Torrie/Sable are in Playboy. Sable was doing a weird lesbian kind of thing at the time with Torrie, which is odd because Torrie had just come off a lesbian angle with Dawn, which ended apparently in her sleeping with Dawn.

Sable requests they all start in their underwear. Taz and Cole are cracking up over a joke Taz makes. It actually was funny and tells me these guys are funny in real life. I’m trying not to pay attention here as this is depressing. Torrie and Sable win.

Rating: F. I hate these things. They’re a total waste of time, we’ve seen the girls like this before, and it’s nothing special at all. Total waste of about 9 minutes.

We get some clips from Axxess.

Eddie comes in to talk to Benoit who is very nervous to say the least. He says that win or lose, he’ll be proud of Chris. Benoit says he won’t lose. Eddie says no one really expects Benoit to win, more or less sealing his title win. Benoit says he’s proud of Eddie for winning the WWE Title and Eddie starts laughing. He wants Benoit to get fired up and Benoit is. Tonight they both walk out world champions.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a ten man gauntlet match. Think Tag Team Turmoil with the champion, Chavo Jr., going tenth. Everyone stands at ringside so I’ll just list them off as they go in. Rey comes out last and is the Flash this year. Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore to start and they’re moving out there, getting three two counts in maybe 40 seconds. Back suplex by Shannon gets two. Whisper in the Wind by Moore misses and Dragon hits the Asai DDT (sets for a Stunner but backflips over Shannon to slam the back of his head into the mat. Looks great) for the pin. I hope this isn’t a pattern.

Jamie Noble is in third and he jumps Dragon to take an early advantage. Dragon unleashes the kicks but misses a moonsault. A neckbreaker by Noble sets up a guillotine choke by Noble to get rid of Dragon.

Funaki comes in and is rolled up and pinned in 4 seconds. I hate these kind of matches for stupid stuff like these last two eliminations. This would never happen in a regular match and makes Funaki and Dragon look like blundering morons.

Nunzio comes in next and begs off instead of charging, which I think is logical here. They trade some holds and Nunzio gets a victory roll for two. Big kick gets two for Nunzio. He tries an O’Connor Roll but Noble ducks to send him to the floor. Noble dives on him with a front flip to put both guys down and Nunzio is counted out.

Billy Kidman is in now and Nunzio trips Noble. Kidman climbs the ropes and throws a Shooting Star Press but underrotates and lands ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! That gets two in the ring and Noble grabs that guillotine again. It’s easily reversed and Kidman adds a running enziguri. He tries the Shooting Star again but Noble runs up to block it. Short powerbomb off the middle ropes gets rid of Noble though as that might have been the longest fall at just under two minutes.

Rey comes in and gets half killed by a dropkick. He gets whipped in and baseball slides between Kidman’s legs while on his back. Kind of awesome. Kidman takes over after some interference from Tajiri’s friend Akio for no apparent reason. They go to the corner and Mysterio gets a sunset bomb to end Kidman.

Tajiri in next and he grabs the Tarantula very quickly. Handspring elbow is blocked by a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio interferes again and winds up taking the mist to the face. Rey grabs a rollup to end Tajiri.

Akio can’t fight because of the mist. Whatever.

Tajiri kicks Rey in the head and it’s down to Chavo and Mysterio. Rey avoids a charge and gets a rana to take over. Down goes Chavo Senior via a baseball slide. The referee won’t let Rey dive on him though. Dang it give us our injured senior citizens! Ok he’s in his mid 50s here but he looks about 80. Rey is like screw it and dives over the referee to crush Chavo Senior. He tries a sunset flip but Chavo grabs the hand of his son to get the pin to retain. So Chavo pinned Rey in about 1:50? Got it.

Rating: D+. That’s overall. The problem here is simple: they went through it WAY too fast and it was impossible to get into any of the matches. These things need like 30 minutes to work which is why you never see them. This would have been WAY better as a fatal fourway but since both tag titles are in that format we had this. Not a fan of these at all because they make the guys in them look far too beatable.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and was being interviewed prior to the match. Lesnar got annoyed that he wasn’t being interviewed since he was WWE Champion at the time. He came in and beat up Goldberg in the Rumble so that Angle could eliminate him after Goldberg was dominating. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out and said don’t do anything he wouldn’t do. Goldberg speared Brock and Eddie won the title because of it (great match if you’ve never seen it).

Austin was named guest referee and then Lesnar popped up and gave Austin an F5. This basically turned into Austin vs. Lesnar instead with Goldberg being on the side. Lesnar stole Austin’s four wheeler and ticking Austin off. Austin beat Lesnar up and took it back, which totally took the spotlight off of Goldberg to eventually set up Brock vs. Austin.

However, this was Lesnar’s last WWE match s he went to the NFL and then the UFC, which made Austin more or less pointless here. Oh and it’s Goldberg’s last match too. Think they’re going to give it that old college try and work as hard as they can? If so, you’re not that smart.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Let the chanting begin! The shorts on Goldberg never looked right. They stand around for about 20 seconds and we get to the far more interesting part of this match: the crowd. Almost immediately we get a YOU SOLD OUT chant directed at Lesnar. It’s one of the loudest you’ll ever hear outside of Philly and it shakes the guys up it seems. The announcers actually acknowledge it which is saying a lot.

Make that a minute of standing around. There’s the Goodbye Song as they’ve literally stood there staring at each other for a minute and a half. Ross tells us Lesnar is gone and they shout F Bombs at each other. Two minutes with zero contact at all. Now the fans chant for Austin, likely wanting him to Stun them both and just end it at that. Two and a half minutes now. This is all considered part of the match mind you.

At 2:45 they lock up. Amusingly enough Goldberg is called a mixed martial arts aficionado. They go down to their knees in a lockup. That eats up literally 45 seconds and it’s back to staring at each other. We’re four minutes into a thirteen and a half minute match and the total amount of contact is 45 seconds, literally all of which is on a lockup. Think about paying a ticket to see this, one of the feature matches, and getting this. They deserve the crowd reaction they’re getting.

They lock up again and that eats up almost 30 more seconds. The crowd chants THIS MATCH SUCKS and they’re right. The first offensive move of the match comes five minutes in (and yes I’m counting via a counter on the video) with a headlock by Lesnar that goes nowhere. They exchange shoulder blocks and then knock each other down with them. We’re 6:30 into this now and the move list in its entirety is: tie up, tie up, head lock, Goldberg shoulder block, Lesnar shoulder block, double shoulder block.

FINALLY things pick up a bit as Lesnar kicks away. Goldberg is like screw that and press slams him, bringing him down with a half spear/half spinebuster. The regular spear misses though and Goldberg goes chest first into the post. We hit the floor for some Lesnar dominance. I guess that was all the offense Goldberg had in him. The fans aren’t that impressed and tell Goldberg that he sucks.

Back in now and Lesnar really upgrades his offense with a suplex. Into a headlock with an arm trap. This is terrible. This eats up about a minute until Goldberg flips him to ZERO pop. Oh hey let’s go right back to the hold again because it worked so well the first time. Then they ram into each other again and are both down. The fans aren’t exactly happy.

Ross calls the match pedestrian. No Ross, taking a walk would be way more interesting than this. The fans boo the heck out of it as Goldberg makes his comeback. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. In 2004. Wow. Spinning neckbreaker sets up the spear for two. Yeah back then they wanted to drop the Jackhammer because the company was really stupid. F5 hits out of nowhere for two as well. Lesnar misses the spear and then the spear and Jackhammer ends it to make Goldberg 1-0!

Rating: F. This was a disgrace. I don’t care if you’re leaving or not, you don’t do it that way. No excuse for this whatsoever.

Austin, who did NOTHING in the match, stuns both guys post match to try and keep the fans from storming the ring to kill the guys in the match.

WM 21 is in LA.

Vince comes out and says there’s someone that should be thanked for Mania making it to #20. He then amazes even me, perhaps the most jaded wrestling fan there is and he thanks the fans. This amazed me to no end when I saw it and it still does today. Love him or hate him, this was pure class right here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

More filler here before we get to the real main events. This is one fall to a finish again. The APA was more or less worthless by this point. I didn’t even know they were still together in 04. Bradshaw would be world champion in the summer. Rikishi and Scotty have the titles coming in here. Bradshaw vs. Benjamin to start us off here.

After JBL takes Shelton down for awhile, Doug Basham tags himself in and I just do not care at this point. Absolutely nothing of note is going on here. Haas vs. Scotty at the moment. Crowd simply does not care either and it’s obvious. Bearhug to Scotty but a Basham comes in for the…save? Scotty is the face in peril I guess. He gets an enziguri but kicks Doug into Danny to keep Scotty from making the tag again.

Off to Rikishi who cleans house. I think he was supposed to be the grizzled veteran that could beat up just about anyone in the match. They pushed him like that for awhile and it didn’t work incredibly well. German attempt by Benjamin but the power of fat sends him to the floor. Haas gets a Stinkface for not funny comedy. Bradshaw comes in to clean house but walks into a Samoan Drop and then Rikishi drops down onto Danny to retain.
Rating: D. Pointless filler. These teams were worthless by this point anyway as they were all on the verge of breaking up. Shelton was in the IC title hunt within a year, JBL debuted that Summer, the Bashams were fired soon thereafter and no one ever cared about Rikishi and Scotty anyway. Total waste of time.

Edge is coming back.

Jesse Ventura is with Donald Trump at ringside. This was when the Apprentice was still a hot show so Trump was a celebrity here. I don’t like him but you have to admit, the guy apparently likes wrestling as this was the 4th show he was a part of. Jesse implies he’ll run for President someday, getting a big pop.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is belt vs. hair with Victoria as champion. Victoria got hotter every time I saw her. The crowd is already more into this than they were for the entire previous match. Molly works the arm to control but gets rolled up for two. Suplex gets two for Molly. Molly is a virgin and wears big underwear which is the focal point of the match. She uses really basic stuff and it’s rather boring. Sunset Bomb gets two and then Molly tries the Widow’s Peak. That doesn’t work and Victoria gets a backslide to retain.

Rating: D+. Short and pretty dull. The real thing here was the shaved diva which doesn’t really do much as the stipulation was more or less just thrown on. Lack of an interesting match for the most part but at least Victoria looked good in those little white shorts.

Head shaving ensues.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. The idea in short is Eddie is a former drug addict and Kurt says that means he shouldn’t represent Smackdown. The idea is that Eddie is in over his head and Heyman, the Smackdown GM, is against Eddie too for no apparent reason.

During the video package, Molly is still being shaved.
Smackdown Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

They lock up in the first minute, already far ahead of Lesnar vs. Goldberg as far as pacing goes. We start with some mat stuff where Eddie is talented but in over his head. Angle takes him down with a judo throw and grabs a headlock. Let’s go Angle/Angle Sucks chants begin dueling. Angle runs him over with a shoulder and it’s a standoff.

Eddie gets a set of shoulder blocks and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. Back in and Angle takes it back to the mat which is where he’s definitely in control for the most part. Front facelock goes on to drain some energy out of the champion. Eddie escapes and we go back to the mat again with Eddie controlling a keylock. This is well done stuff as they’re definitely keeping things interesting out there for this.

Knee to the ribs takes Eddie down and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Eddie reverses and tries Three Amigos but can only get one as Kurt gets a German. Out to the apron and Angle of course can’t get the German to the floor because it would, you know, kill Eddie. Eddie knocks him to the floor and dives out at Angle but misses, hitting the barrier chest first. That gets two back in the ring.

Angle works on the ribs/midsection even more, eventually hot shotting Eddie onto the top rope for two. Belly to belly sends Eddie flying. Another gets two and it’s back to the ribs. Angle shifts it into a bearhug and then into a belly to belly for two. Middle rope belly to belly is blocked as is the running belly to belly. Frog Splash misses and Eddie’s momentum is gone just as fast as it arrived.

Kurt hammers away as Cole calls him a hypocrite for talking about how Eddie is a disgrace. Eddie shrugs it off and wants more shots. He fires back and gets a little momentum going. A charge in the corner misses and Eddie gets a belly to back suplex for two. Eddie still can’t get Three Amigos and it’s Rolling German time. The second is reversed into a rollup for two and then Angle drills Eddie to take him right back down again.

Angle Slam is countered and Eddie speeds things up a bit. Three Amigos are attempted again and again Kurt counters after a second one. Ankle Lock goes on for a bit but not that long. Dropkick puts Kurt down but as Eddie goes for the Frog Splash Angle gets the running belly to belly two. After a rollup gets two Eddie is caught in a German for two.

Another counter to the Angle Slam, this one in the form of a DDT sets up the Frog Splash for two. Has that ever happened before? Angle plays possum and picks the ankle out of nowhere into the ankle lock. Again he manages to send Kurt to the floor and Eddie is unlacing his boot. Angle doesn’t see this and comes right back with the ankle lock. Eddie kicks the hold off and the boot goes off with it. He grabs a small package on the confused Kurt (and wraps his feet around the ropes to cheat a bit) to retain in a brilliant ending.

Rating: A. Excellent stuff here. There’s definitely a story here with Eddie going move for move with Angle but in the end going back to his roots to pick up the upset. Also look at the intelligence that Eddie shows at the end by playing possum just like Kurt did seconds before to beat Angle as he goes just a step too far to retain the title. Go find this match and watch it. You’ll learn something.

We recap Taker vs. Kane. Kane had buried Taker yet again. This time it was over Taker turning into the American and ceasing to be a monster. I guess the tag title run they had together didn’t count? At the Rumble a Taker Gong went off to scare the heck out of Kane and the distraction let Booker put him out. This kept happening until it was announced his return would be here at Mania.

Undertaker vs. Kane

 

Yeah the build here isn’t quite as good as their first Mania match. Taker gets the full on Mania entrance, complete with darkness, chanting, fire, druids, and PAUL BEARER!!! Taker’s hair isn’t even to his shoulders here so the look is a bit off. Oh and he wears a cowboy hat now. Kane is all scared to death here and shouts that Taker isn’t real. He reaches out and touches Taker (there’s an old commercial in there somewhere) and Taker hammers away.

Kane hides on the floor and Taker starts his usual stuff. The ending is so obvious here it’s unreal. Some corner clotheslines put Kane down but the Last Ride is blocked. They mess up the reverse back body drop as they’re about three feet away from the ropes. Taker does some ground and pound but walks into a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline gets two.

They slug it out which of course Taker wins. Kane misses a charge in the corner and a running big boot puts Kane down. Old School is caught by a chokeslam and Kane stops to laugh. Taker sits up, Kane panics and I think you know what’s going to end the match.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Taker completely squashed Kane here, which to be fair is more or less Kane’s job. Not much of a match at all although that’s what the people wanted I think. Taker has been the same character since this point for the most part and this was the beginning of the modern Taker.

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH is champion, Benoit won the Rumble and should get the one on one shot. However, at the Rumble Shawn and HHH tied in a Last Man Standing match so Shawn says he should get another shot. Always thought that was ridiculous. Shawn had his chance, but he didn’t win. It shouldn’t be him again. Anyway he signed the contract anyway so Austin made it a triple threat. The video more or less shows Shawn as a heel because he just wouldn’t let Benoit have his moment.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Surprisingly normal entrance for HHH here although he’s wearing white boots. We even get a weapons check which you never see anymore. Everyone goes after everyone to start us off here with Shawn avoiding a Crossface. HHH to the floor and the others slug it out. He comes back in when he thinks it’s best as we’re in a slow build here.

DX explodes for a bit and the fans think someone screwed Bret. Leaping knee gets two. Some nice tandem stuff lets Shawn hit a moonsault off the top to the floor to take everyone out. HHH and Shawn go back to the ring now with Benoit out on the floor. Facebuster to Shawn but he can’t hit the Pedigree as Chris saves. Shawn’s shoulder goes into the post and Benoit hits a snap suplex on HHH.

With Benoit in the Tree of Woe HHH throws Shawn into him in a cool spot. Shawn nips up so Benoit knocks him to the floor. Benoit hits Rolling Germans on the Game Shawn stops the headbutt and HHH takes him down with a DDT. Superplex by HHH gets two on Benoit. Make that three twos. The fans like Benoit here. Pedigree is reversed into a bad Crossface which Shawn breaks up.

Rolling Germans by Shawn are booed and reversed into a set by Benoit. Headbutt to Shawn gets two. Forearm and nipup by Shawn but there’s no one else in the ring. HHH comes in and gets beaten on for a bit. Elbow hits and the Band is Tuned Up. The kick connects but Benoit saves. Shawn vs. Benoit now with Shawn being launched into the post to bust him open. Terrible Crossface to Shawn and HHH grabs his arm before he can tap.

Benoit and HHH hit the floor for some brawling while Shawn is down. HHH sends him into the steps and preps the announce table. Just the Smackdown one though, not the Spanish one. Benoit, ever the traditionalist, puts HHH on the Spanish one. German is blocked as it the Pedigree. Shawn pops up and DX suplexes/drops Benoit through the SD table in a cool visual.

Back in the ring now it’s Shawn vs. HHH. They slug it out with neither guy taking over. HHH is sent to the floor and a cameraman is taken out. Ross wants an EMT for Benoit. HHH gets posted (without spam) and is busted as well. Pedigree out of NOWHERE is the counter to some punches. Somehow Benoit makes the save and the crowd pops like a cherry.

Benoit chops away but HHH grabs a Pedigree attempt which is reversed into a long Sharpshooter in an eruption. Shawn kicks Chris’ head off though which somehow only gets two. Ross’ voice is almost gone here. Loud Benoit chant starts up as Shawn Tunes Up the Band. Benoit backdrops him to the floor and walks into another Pedigree attempt. Benoit counters that into a Crossface with HHH in agony. HHH rolls backwards but Benoit hangs on and HHH taps, giving Benoit the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A+. Great match, everything clicked, absolute classic. There’s nothing else I can say here.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with Benoit in a classic Wrestlemania moment.

Overall Rating: B. This is good but the length starts to get old after awhile. At 4 ½ hours long it needs about an hour cut off to be a classic. Still though with two great world title matches and some other good stuff in there it’s hard to argue. Also we get a legit Mania moment to end the show which is never a bad thing. Good show and worth seeing, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2004 (2017 Redo): The Andre Principle

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night and one of the most important shows of the year as we officially start the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is more wide open than in recent years and that’s often the best thing that can happen for the match. Other than that we have a pair of World Title matches, with Raw’s likely being too long and Smackdown’s needing to move on before the company makes itself look worse. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how life’s road is unpredictable and how one turn can change everything. As you might guess, the Last Man Standing match gets the most time and the Rumble itself is mentioned last.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and it’s a tables match with Coach on commentary. Before the match, Batista gets in a quick jab at the Dudleys for being the biggest losers since the Philadelphia Eagles. They fight on the floor to start with Batista clotheslining the post by mistake to put the champs in early trouble. In a painful looking impact, Bubba slides a table from one side of the ring to the other, hitting Batista in the ribs to keep him in trouble.

A neckbreaker slows Batista down and D-Von takes him to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Flair has Bubba in the corner on a table (that’s so wrong for Flair) but Bubba is right back with the Flip Flop and Fly (that’s more Flair’s speed) Batista comes back in for the save though as I’m glad they’re not wasting time with tags here.

The belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination puts Batista down as Evolution can’t get much going here. Flair goes up, and in a shocking change of events, Flair gets slammed down. It’s time for the table but cue Coach, with his bad ribs, for the save. That earns him a What’s Up attempt but Flair makes a save of his own. Batista is back in with a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table for the win.

Rating: D-. Just a Raw match designed to get these guys on the show, though I can appreciate them putting the tables match on first and hopefully we don’t get a bunch of chants about wanting tables. Other than that, I see nothing positive about this entire thing. Batista and Flair are fine as champions, but it’s not like they have anyone important to feud against at this point.

Flair says they’ll keep the titles as long as they want.

John Cena raps about how he’s going to win but Rob Van Dam comes in to steal the last rhyme, saying he’ll win the Rumble. Cena makes weed jokes and says Van Dam can suck his candy cane.

There’s an empty chair for Mick Foley, should he bother to show up.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending and Jamie has the still blind Nidia with him. A 619 attempt in the first ten seconds is countered into a hot shot as Jamie takes over. Cole says that Nidia, who is blind, is looking on as Jamie hiptosses Rey down, earning one heck of a tongue lashing from Tazz. Rey gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by the sitout bulldog for two. The tiger driver is broken up and Nidia trips Jamie by mistake, setting up the 619. Rey Drops the Dime to retain in short order.

Rating: D. Well don’t bother wasting time I guess. This was barely three minutes long and they didn’t have time to do anything. Nidia’s interference was the most important part of the match and that took all of two seconds. These two are talented but they need more time than a run of the mill women’s match from this era to get anywhere.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. They were a successful team but Eddie got way more popular, sending Chavo into a jealous rage when the team stopped doing as well. Chavo went nuts, blaming Eddie for all of their problems and bringing in his father to turn it into more of a family affair, even as Kurt Angle tried to play peacekeeper. This is one of the few stories that is going to work every single time and both of them have sold it exceptionally well, turning it into the best thing going on in WWE at the moment.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo has his father with him. They fight over a hard lockup to start until Chavo slaps the taste out of Eddie’s mouth. A fired up Eddie shoves him into the corner but can’t bring himself to follow up because his heart is broken. He’s willing to take Chavo down into a chinlock but Chavo is right back up for a chop in the corner. Eddie chops him back and gives the first smile of the match. Some shoulders put Eddie down and Chavo is very pleased with his early success.

That just earns him a poke to the eye as the stalling continues. Eddie takes him down again but Chavo pops up in short order and hooks a hurricanrana to put them both on the floor. With Chavo back inside, his dad sends Eddie face first into the steps (Tazz: “I guess he doesn’t like his little brother.”) to give Chavo the first real advantage. Back in and Eddie grabs a cross armbreaker but can’t get it all the way on. Chavo scores with a belly to back suplex but the tornado DDT is broken up. Eddie rolls the suplexes and drops the frog splash for the win.

Rating: C. It was good while it lasted but it should have lasted about twice as long. This was a big time story on Smackdown and it ended in a match that was about half as long as the Smackdown main event. I’m assuming they’re setting Eddie up for something bigger down the line and they needed to get this out of the way, but this deserved more time.

Post match Eddie gets fired up for the first time and beats up both Chavos. Sr. gets tied to the bottom rope by the tie while Jr. gets stomped in the corner, busting him open in the process. They did a good job here with Eddie wanting to hold in his emotions during the match but being pushed too far after and finally erupting.

Chris Benoit is ready to go in at #1 when Evolution comes in with their champagne to celebrate. Flair says Benoit is the best technical wrestler alive and all man but the brass ring always slips out of his hand. It’s all about Evolution holding all of the gold so Benoit is always going to be second best.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Hardcore Holly. Lesnar broke Holly’s neck back in 2002 and since we must go with real life instead of something, you know, interesting, we’ve been stuck watching Lesnar run from Holly for the last month. This is possibly the most ice cold title match in history as Holly is little more than a former comedy guy with a bad attitude who is ranting about wanting to break Lesnar’s neck. Lesnar can beat up Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, but Hardcore Holly suddenly scares him? That’s what we’re going with here?

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Lesnar is defending and Holly jumps him before the bell. The champ gets posted twice in a row and the bell rings with Holly on the apron, only to miss a top rope clothesline. Lesnar scores with a suplex as the referee is getting in the way more than usual here. A ram into the apron gives Lesnar two and it’s off to a waistlock on the mat. What would eventually be called a Shell Shock gives Lesnar two as this is a complete squash so far.

It’s back to the waistlock as you can hear the limited interest the fans had seeping out of the arena. A bearhug sets up a suplex and it’s right back to a head and arm choke. Holly fights up with some kicks to the ribs and clotheslines, followed by the Alabama Slam….for no cover as it’s off to that stupid full nelson. The hold stays on even as they fall to the floor so Holly tries it again with Lesnar on the apron. That earns him a neck snap across the top and the F5 retains the title.

Rating: F. Oh give me a break. Lesnar was never in danger here and in the six and a half minutes they had, at least half of it was Lesnar keeping him on the mat in a hold. Holly’s finisher, while fine for beating a midcarder here and there, is nowhere near enough to be a real threat to Lesnar. Thank goodness they didn’t tease a bunch of near falls and just got out of there, because this was a bad idea from the beginning.

We’re not even 52 minutes into the show and we’ve covered four matches, including three title matches. That’s a ridiculous pace, even for a Royal Rumble.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which they’re billing as seven years in the making. So we’re counting all of the four and a half years Shawn was on the shelf and the months long feud they had in 2002? They’ve traded wins and the title until Shawn got a pin on the last show of 2003, albeit with his own shoulders on the mat. Therefore it’s a Last Man Standing match tonight, which somehow ties into everything else they’ve ever done, including the most recent match, which is barely discussed.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. They fight over a lockup to start until Shawn gets the better of a chop off. It’s time for a mat sequence with Shawn loading up a backslide, only to let it go when he realizes what kind of match they’re having. One heck of a whip into the corner starts n on Shawn’s back, which is still a target six years after it was originally hurt.

Shawn is right back up with a Figure Four but HHH turns it over for the break. That’s enough of the wrestling so it’s time to head outside with HHH loading up the announcers’ table. A suplex through the table is broken up and Shawn ax handles him in the head. Back in and a backdrop puts HHH on the floor again but Shawn’s springboard spinning crossbody only hits table in a big crash.

Shawn is busted open (of course he is) and we get a replay, showing that Shawn would have cleared HHH by two feet even if HHH had stood in place. Back in again and the very bloody Shawn won’t stay down, instead telling HHH to bring it on. Right hands get a seven and a spinebuster gives HHH eight more. It’s chair time and a hard shot to the back gets nine this time. The Pedigree on the chair is countered into a slingshot into the corner, followed by Shawn’s own chair shot to the face.

Back up and the forearm into the nip up have the bloody HHH in trouble. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. Back up and Shawn grabs a sleeper, which lasts as long as a sleeper is going to in a match like this. HHH’s DDT gets eight so he loads up a belly to back superplex, which is countered into a spinning crossbody for a double knockdown. The Pedigree gets nine and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music, good for a double knockout and a draw.

Rating: C-. Well of course we need to see these two fight again. You wouldn’t expect HHH and Shawn Michaels to wrap up their feud in just two matches right? This wasn’t very good with just an exchange of moves and nothing that went anywhere, though the blade jobs were both quite nasty looking. I’m sure we’ll see these two again, but these two will likely be fighting in their retirement home.

The fans are NOT pleased with the draw and I can’t say I blame them. HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Shawn insists on walking.

Video on the Royal Rumble, which really just shows the names involved. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Goldberg is in at #30.

The Fink is ready to start the introductions but here’s Eric Bischoff to promise that Raw will win the match. He runs down Paul Heyman’s abilities to run shows in Bingo halls, in a line that has to have been repeated a thousand times now. Ignore that WCW officially went out of business before ECW (on an extreme technicality but it was still officially in business after WCW was purchased). Heyman tackles Bischoff but here’s Steve Austin on the ATV to say they’re both in violation of the law. Stunners abound and beer is consumed. I’m so glad they spent five minutes on this when four matches got less than twenty two minutes combined.

Goldberg is asked about being #30 in the Royal Rumble when Brock comes in to wonder where his interview is. Brock asks where Goldberg’s title is but Goldberg says it’s coming back at Wrestlemania. Goldberg suggests Brock is a coward.

Foley still isn’t here.

Royal Rumble

JR and Tazz are on commentary, thankfully giving us a standard booth instead of the usual mess that these things have become. Tazz even has keys to victory: hide, stamina, get a high number. I’ve heard worse analysis so I’ll take what I can get. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 and we have ninety second intervals. Benoit gets aggressive to start (ignoring key to victory #2) and scores with a suplex but gets uppercutted into the corner.

Mark Henry is in at #3 and shoves Benoit down so he can choke Orton in the corner. The clock seems to get a little faster as Tajiri is in at #4 and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Henry throws Orton ribs first onto the top rope and everyone pounds away as Bradshaw is in at #5. Clotheslines abound until Benoit pulls him into the Crossface and gets him out in less than a minute. Well at least they’re keeping the ring at a manageable number. Rhyno is in at #6 and goes after Orton and Benoit as Tajiri kicks away at Henry.

Tajiri can’t get the Tarantula so Rhyno Gores Henry, eliminating Tajiri in the process. Benoit dumps Henry and we’re already down to three. They fight by the ropes and it’s Matt Hardy in at #7. There’s a Side Effect to Rhyno but Benoit knocks Matt to the apron. Matt gets back in and everyone pummels everyone until Scott Steiner is in at #8. Benoit rolls some German suplexes on Steiner as JR gives us the good stat of there being no former Rumble winners in this match.

Matt Morgan is in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up. A helicopter bomb plants Benoit and there’s a big boot to Hardy. It’s back to the exchange of forearms around the ring with no one going for an elimination until Hurricane is in at #10. Before I can recap who is in the match, Morgan tosses Hurricane in short order, leaving us with Benoit, Orton, Rhyno, Hardy, Steiner and Morgan. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron but not out as Steiner lays on Orton in the middle of the ring.

Booker T. is in at #11 to a nice reaction but also to a really annoying song. An ax kick has Orton in trouble and Steiner is thrown out off camera (in his last match with the company) as Kane is in at #12. Benoit and Morgan both get chokeslams and the Gore and RKO are both blocked. Kane starts beating on Matt in the corner…..and a gong strikes at #13. As expected, Kane freaks out and the distraction lets Booker throw him out. It’s actually Spike Dudley in at #13 so Kane beats him up in the aisle, both for the gong and for Spike upsetting Kane on Monday. Things settle down and it’s Rikishi in at #14.

Benoit dumps Rhyno and Orton gets a Stinkface as the fans aren’t exactly interested, probably due to the gong taking some of their interest away. They’re certainly not burning up the pace for eliminations here but that’s not the worst thing in the world. Rene Dupree is in at #15 to get us to the halfway point. He dropkicks Hardy out but turns into a superkick from Rikishi to get eliminated as well.

A-Tran is in at #16 and goes after Rikishi as Benoit ducks Morgan’s charge to get rid of him. Orton dumps out Rikishi and Booker in the span of a few seconds, leaving us with Benoit, Orton and A-Train. Benoit eliminates A-Train as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. Benjamin slugs away as JR completely missed A-Train’s elimination. How do you not notice the 6’8 350lb bald guy being gone? Orton dumps Shelton and we’re down to two again. To be fair, other than Kane and maybe Booker, none of the other entrants are worth anything so far. Lamont runs out to introduce Ernest Miller at #18 and Tazz loves the song.

Benoit tosses Lamont and Orton does the same to Miller so these two can keep slugging it out. Kurt Angle is in at #19 and now things can pick up a bit. Benoit and Angle go at it (of course) while Orton is smart enough to just chill in the corner. Angle has Benoit in trouble on the ropes but Orton makes a rather questionable save. Rico is in at #20 and goes after Orton, who dropkicks him almost immediately. A kick to the head rocks Orton though, leaving Benoit to roll some German suplexes on Angle. Orton dumps Rico with ease and it’s Test…..not in at #21.

We cut to the back where Test is unconscious. Austin sees who did it and makes that person #21 instead. In the arena, MICK FOLEY is #21 and Orton knows he’s about to die. Foley slugs him down in the corner, throws up a BANG BANG and hits the running knee in the corner. The Cactus Clothesline gives us a double elimination and it’s down to Benoit vs. Angle. Foley isn’t done with Orton and sends him into the steps as Christian is in at #22.

Orton gets in a few wicked chair shots to Foley and punches him down before slamming Foley’s head into the ramp. Some right hands get Foley out of trouble and it’s Mr. Socko but Foley has to give it to Nunzio, who comes in at #23. The distraction lets Orton get in a low blow and run off after a great angle that makes me want to see these two have a heck of a fight. Back in the ring, Christian can’t get rid of Angle or Benoit so Angle suplexes Benoit instead. Benoit is the only one standing as Big Show is in at #24.

Show starts fast with the overhand chops and throws some Canadians around until Chris Jericho is in at #25 to a very nice reaction. Jericho and Christian stomp on Angle in the corner until Show makes a save with a double noggin knocker. How old school of him. Everyone goes after Show so he shrugs them off and Charlie Haas is in at #26. Christian tries to turn on Jericho but gets dumped out instead, which just fits for Christian for some reason. Billy Gunn returns at #27 and hits some Fameassers but can’t get rid of anyone.

John Cena is in at #28 to a very nice reaction and you can feel the star power growing every night. Cena catches Nunzio sitting on the floor and throws him inside as the ring is starting to get too full. For some reason Nunzio goes after Show, earning himself that hard shot to the back. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 and can’t get rid of Show either. Cena gives Angle an FU and here’s Goldberg in at #30 to complete the field. I’m not going to bother saying who all is in there because we’re about to lose a bunch of them.

Goldberg wrecks everyone and tosses Haas, Gunn and Nunzio (after an insane spear). That leaves us with Benoit, Angle, Show, Jericho, Cena, Van Dam and Goldberg for a heck of a final group. Goldberg loads up the Jackhammer on Show but here’s Lesnar to jump him from behind, allowing Angle to dump Goldberg, who is busy seething at Lesnar. Show shrugs off the masses again but Angle chop blocks him, which isn’t the brightest idea. That means a Lionsault, a Five Star, a Shuffle and a Swan Dive but Show is unconscious on the mat. Real smart guys.

Show fights up and dumps Cena, who lands VERY awkwardly on his knee. Van Dam is gone too and we’re down to Jericho, Big Show, Angle and Benoit. Jericho goes after Show’s knee and bulldogs Show now, which has done so well against him already. The Walls make Show tap but Jericho lets him go. That’s not the brightest move in the world and Show makes him pay with a chokeslam over the top for an elimination. A regular chokeslam drops Benoit so Angle gets the Angle Slam on Show.

Benoit gets one as well and now it’s the ankle lock to make Show tap again. Show gets up and muscles Angle out as well, leaving us with two. With Show hanging over the top rope, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to the back of his head, accidentally bringing Show back in. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface to make Show tap for the third time.

A side slam gets Show out of trouble as we hear about Benoit getting close to Ric Flair’s longevity record. Show loads up a gorilla press but Benoit pulls him down into a guillotine, even as Show puts him on the apron. Benoit pulls him down and slides back inside as Show goes out, giving Benoit the big win.

Rating: A. It’s one of the best Rumbles ever, mainly due to Benoit. There was some great storytelling near the end, with Jericho and Angle both making Show tap but then making some kind of a mistake to get eliminated while Benoit was smart/determined enough to make it work in the end. The same thing happens when the big groups try to get Show out and Benoit does it on his own, showing how technique and determination are better than brute strength. It kept you wondering if Benoit could finally win the big one and that’s what they managed to pull off in a great story throughout the whole match.

Other than that, they did a great job of not letting the ring get too full save for near the end, which Goldberg took care of in short order. Pacing is often such a problem in these things and it’s very nice to see them get it right. They had a big angle with Foley and Orton too, giving it something besides the winner to go off of from here. Finally, there were multiple possible winners, which always makes for a better match than having one or two people be the only ones who could win. Great Rumble, and one of the best of all time.

JR loses it praising Benoit, who smiles (a rare thing for him) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Rumble is always a unique show as it’s the only one where one match can really save the whole thing, as the main event is often at least a third of the show. The problem is the rest of the show was so bad due to the matches either being rushed or being HHH vs. Shawn in their annual attempt at an epic match that it’s hard to call this good overall. Really though, the Rumble itself is more than enough to carry it, but on any other card of the year this would have been a disaster.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2004-they-couldnt-wait-any-longer/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2004 (2013 Redo): Really? Him?

Royal sRumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

Royal Rumble

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2004 (Original): The Rumble That Must Not Be Named

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

So another year has passed and the only real change is that Evolution is running wild on Raw. Yeah, HHH is champion again, Benoit is still having great matches but getting nowhere with them, Brock still owns the world, and the Dudleys are still the only tag team worth a thing. The levels of similarity between the two shows astounds me. Oh and Cena is now a face. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.

This really was a show that doesn’t mean much in the history of the company because nothing much happens. Shawn and HHH are going to have another classic in their endless series and Lesnar is having a match with Hardcore Holly of all people. Let that sink in for a bit before we start this up.

Naturally the opening video is about Shawn and HHH, because, you know, they’re more important than the match the show is named after. The whole thing is about roads which is fine but geez, could you be a bit more subtle next time? I didn’t really get what you were trying to talk about here.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Ric Flair/Batista

This is in the Evolution period so Flair thinks he’s a Horseman still I guess. It’s a tables match so at least we don’t have to worry about it lasting long. Evolution came in as champions here after having the belts stolen from them a month before. Oh and they’re 17 time champions here. They put Coach through a table on Raw in a pointless segment. Oh dang it they gave Batista a mic. Who thought this was a good idea at this point in his career?

The fight is on in the aisle, and I think Flair is on the verge of bleeding already. In a cool spot, Bubba is on one side of the ring and gets a table out. He slides it across the ring and it hits Batista on the floor on the other side of the ring. That was impressive. Seeing Dave with a lot of hair is just amusing. Flair is told to suck on that by Bubba which is an image I never want again. We go to a completely ranomd shot over the shoulders of the announcers. What the heck was the point of that?

The Dudleys hit that reverse neckbreaker that is always called a 3D by idiotic fans in the crowd. Shockingly, Flair is slammed off the top rope. Coach leaves for no apparent reason as Flair is about to get a 3D. He almost gets the What’s Up but Flair stops it. Batista puts D-Von through a table to end it. That was incredibly pointless.

Rating: C. It’s four and a half minutes long. How much of a rating could I actually give this thing? It was a way to give Evolution a bit more credibility as champions and that’s what it did. They lost them to RVD and Booker a few weeks later but whatever. This was fine for an opener I guess.

We go to the back and I have to take a break for a minute as Josh Matthews looks like a cross between Vanilla Ice and….something not meant to be crossed with Vanilla Ice. I mean it’s just hilarious. Anyway, he’s with Cena who is a face now but he still raps. RVD interrupts him in a bizarre cameo. Cena was getting there but he wasn’t quite there yet.

We see a chair that’s reserved for Foley. This is in the middle of the angle where he was afraid of Orton and refused to fight him.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Talk about two careers that have gone in completely opposite directions since this. Rey comes out first for no apparent reason. If Noble’s music was any more generic it would be off an American Idol winner’s CD. Oh yeah and Nidia, Noble’s girlfriend, has been blinded by Tajiri. It’s a fake, and if that surprises you I have to wonder why you’re here. Apparently Noble has been using her to help him win matches without her knowing about it.

Cole gets in the flat out stupid line of “Nidia looking on”. Cole, you are a plague upon mankind. Even Tazz calls him out for saying something stupid. How bad does that tell you he is? Nidia trips Noble “by mistake” and Rey gets a 619 and drops the dime for the win. Yeah that’s really all that happened. It’s a 3 minute match.

Rating: N/A. There’s more or less nothing here to grade so I can’t do it justice. The angle was stupid though and this is kind of insulting to the crusierweights. They give them 3 minutes for their title? Seriously, what’s the point in even having them out there? This was stupid and is a great example of why this division is considered a freaking joke.

So Chavo can’t stand Eddie because he’s jealous or something stupid like that.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

I put Jr. because Chavo Sr. is with Chavo here. This was right before Eddie turned into the mega face and would become the most overrated wrestler in recent history. Yes Eddie was great, but you would think he was the second coming of Lou Thesz based on how much praise he got all of a sudden. He’s mad over here but still it’s annoying considering they’re still using his name in angles now.

Now in case you didn’t know that they grew up more or less as brothers, they’re going to let you know for the first time in the first two minutes. That should only be mentioned about 15 more times in the match. Oh and apparently Chavo hates Eddie now. I get that we have faces vs. heels, but this pro-Eddie stuff from Cole here is driving me insane. SHUT UP ALREADY. WE GET IT. In a funny spot, Chavo does Eddie’s dance thing and Eddie just flips him off. That was great.

Oh Eddie refuses to punch too. Chavo Sr., who is Eddie’s brother in case you can’t remember the family tree in your head, trips him to give Chavo the advantage. Since Chavo pales in the shadows of Eddie though, that lasts all of a second. Chavo steals Eddie’s sequence of moves, so Eddie follows it up by doing the exact same sequence. This allows for the frog splash to end it. That was just pointless. Eddie follows it up with a long beatdown of both Chavos to fill in some time.

Rating: C+. The wrestling here was quite good, but I still don’t get what was accomplished here. Eddie was just treading water at this point until less than a week later when he was launched into being number one contender for the Smackdown Title in a battle royal. This ended this mini feud so I guess that’s the point it served. I never liked Eddie vs. Chavo for some reason, but the wrestling was very solid.

Buy Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses. No you really should as it’s a cool set.

Benoit is in the back with Josh Matthews but Flair and Evolution interrupt him. If anyone can explain to me logically why Benoit was never made into the next big star of the Horsemen in WCW, I’ll get you a ham sandwich. They talk about Benoit being unable to win the big one, which more or less gives away the ending to the Rumble.

Since apparently I murdered a baby in a past life or something, we recap Bob Holly vs. Lesnar. It’s an even numbered year so it’s time to push him again. Holly fought Lesnar in 2002 and Lesnar messed up a powerbomb and it broke Holly’s neck. That apparently is what it takes for him to get a title shot. Holly kept jumping Brock and trying to hurt him with a full nelson. Yes, Hardcore Holly is getting a title shot at the Royal freaking Rumble. Just take me now.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

They announce Holly and that this is for the WWE Title and I expect Chimmel to just break up laughing. I mean seriously how could you keep a straight face announcing that? It’s amazing to think that Lesnar would be done with the WWE in three months. Holly jumps him before the match starts so the bell rings while Holly is waiting on Brock to get up. He misses a cross body, meaning that he was in control for all of two seconds of this match.

After that, it’s all Brock. I mean literally, four minutes have passed and Holly has been on defense since then. Tazz and Cole are really trying to make this sound like a legit match. They even say that Holly might be pound for pound the strongest guy in the company. That’s just completely stupid. Hey there’s offense! It’s a head slap and two punches and he’s down again. Also most of this is Brock with Holly on the mat in a hold.

He gets a slightly longer one here, even hitting his finisher, the Alabama Slam (think of a guy going for a sunset flip but not getting over and the guy he’s using it on grabbing his legs and slamming him back down to the mat). Naturally though he doesn’t cover but goes for the stupid submission and since that doesn’t work, the F5 ends this in like 6 minutes.

Rating: D-. This was a squash on PPV for the title. I can get the idea of having a throwaway feud that ends at the Rumble to set up the real feud at Mania, but this was just a waste of time. Serious, HARDCORE HOLLY is the best you can do? You couldn’t throw someone like Cena in there for a quick feud and title match that went 12 minutes or so? Vince loved Holly for some reason and refused to quit pushing him until he finally woke up and fired him.

We’re four matches into a six match card. The longest match so far: Eddie vs. Chavo at eight minutes and three seconds. I know I complain about PPVs being too much like a TV show but this is ridiculous.

HHH and Shawn are getting ready for their title match tonight. Of course it’s seven years in the making despite them feuding extensively since then. Basically this time Shawn had gotten a title shot in his home town and pinned HHH, but his shoulders were down too so HHH kept the belt.

That’s a great match that you should check out which I believe is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD. They go through the usual whining about HHH taking Shawn’s spot after the injury and I want to beat myself with a rock. This highlight package literally goes on for almost four minutes. WE GET IT.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

This is last man standing. From the beginning of the recap package to the bell was about seven and a half minutes. Shawn is finally back to looking like a pro wrestler instead of looking like a tiny man that he was in the Elimination Chamber. What’s the deal with announcers always misusing the word literally? Monsoon said they were literally hanging from the rafters and Lawler says they’re literally beating the tar out of each other. No, not really.

Ross follows that up with a line saying that Michaels made a calculated mistake. I just shake my head and move on. In a shocking turn of events, HHH works on Shawn’s back. Lawler goes on a limb and says that Shawn’s back might be healed SIX YEARS AFTER HE HURT IT. I love how they try to make it sound like Shawn left and then HHH was a big deal the next day. In reality it took about a year for him to get to the big time and another year and the Rock before anyone took him seriously.

Shawn hooks on a figure four and Ross manages to plug the recently released Flair DVD. If anyone has ever been a better or more hardworking salesman than Vince McMahon, I want to meet them and buy something from them. We’re already seeing the problem that exists in every Last Man Standing match: the first fifteen minutes or so mean nothing.

You can go do something else while waiting on that part to end. There will be some decent spots, but it’s simply not going to end during that amount of time. We move to the let’s dodge each other’s finishers which is clichéd but fine I guess.

Shawn goes to the apron and tries a reverse springboard cross body to the floor but eats table in a good looking spot. Since it’s a big match, Shawn is bleeding. I know he emulates Flair but come on now. Hey let’s get a chair since we haven’t had enough violence so far. Naturally Shawn is up in time because we haven’t had the big face comeback yet. In case you can’t tell, I’m not thrilled by this match. It’s ok, but nothing great.

Shawn blocks a Pedigree and slingshots HHH in front of the turnbuckle so HHH can jump to hit the post. Shawn kills him with the chair for an eight or so. Both guys are bleeding. Shawn nips up and the fans are into this if nothing else. He initiates his ending sequence which is just like what Bret Hart would do even though he’s nothing like Bret Hart right?

For the life of me, if Shawn wants to hit a big kick, WHY DOES HE STOMP THE MAT WHILE THE OTHER GUY IS GETTING UP??? That’s just freaking STUPID. Oh come on now. After Shawn gets low blowed, he hooks a sleeper. While it’s psychologically a good move, it’s the best way possible to kill a crowd dead. This match has been 80% punching and chopping.

This match is going on, but all of the clichéd spots like the long double count are just getting annoying as all goodness. A Pedigree puts Shawn down again. He gets up and since he just took a big finisher he’s able to hit Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere, because you know, that’s perfectly reasonable. This leads to a double count out which gets booed out of the freaking building.

This caused Shawn to be completely ridiculous and consistently demand that he get a title shot and generally coming off like a total whiny little troll. This is why Shawn was in the Mania main event, and yes, I think it had a lot to do with HHH making sure that his buddy got to main event ANOTHER Mania and kept him from having to job to Benoit clean, but you’ve heard more than enough rants about that.

Rating: C+. This match felt like it was missing the middle part. It felt like 18 minutes of the feeling out process and then we shifted to the finish for about five minutes. The double count out thing I couldn’t stand but at least they had a plan for these two moving forward.

The problem though is that it’s just Shawn vs. HHH. This feud went on forever and while it’s a big match, it’s been done. That’s the thing: it’s just more of HHH only making his buddy look good instead of just allowing him to lay down for Benoit at Mania like he should have. It’s not bad, but once you think about it the match loses some luster.

We go to a long video package about the Rumble, mainly focusing on Benoit which completely gives away the winner. He’s number one and Goldberg is number 30. Yeah that’s about it.

Austin, Heyman and Bischoff get together. Hilarity ensues.

Brock and Goldberg look at each other. I think Goldberg wants to go get some coffee.

Royal Rumble

As mentioned, Benoit is first and Orton is number 2. Tazz and Ross are doing the commentary tonight and Orton is the IC Champion here. These two would headline Summerslam in about 7 months in a great match which led to Orton’s horribly botched face turn. GEEZ Orton looks different here as he more or less was all clean cut like some college kid. Compare that to what you see now and you’ll be amazed.

I’m not sure if I like this style of the Rumble. I like having bigger names in at the beginning, but they couldn’t have made it clearer that Benoit was winning if they put the WM 20 poster on the mat for this. I like these hard hitting people if nothing else. Henry is 3rd as I think the intervals are two minutes or so. Teddy Long is managing Henry here which means more or less nothing. After about a minute, Tajiri is 4th. I know this because there’s a graphic in the corner that says Tajiri 4th.

He and Benoit do some sweet looking technical stuff. Bradshaw is 5th and somehow he would be world champion in 6 months. He clotheslines everyone but Benoit who pulls him into a crossface. Bradshaw picks him up and tries to dump him but Benoit holds on and pulls Bradshaw out. Rhyno is 6th here as the intervals are actually staying pretty close to accurate here.

Tajiri puts Henry in the Tarantula but Rhyno gores Henry to knock Tajiri out. That’s actually pretty creative and I liked it. Benoit puts Henry out by just running into him a few times to a solid pop. It was bigger last year but we’re not going to speak of that. Oh Henry took some mist according to a replay to cause him to be in the Tarantula. Matt Hardy is seventh. We now have Benoit, Orton, Rhyno and Hardy in there. Hardy is a face here I think. Yeah he’s getting pops.

I just don’t think he means anything as a singles guy, which would date this show as sometime between 2001 and the present. The two successful singles guys and the two lesser so successful singles guys are together. In at eight is Scott Steiner who means more or less nothing at this point. He dominates for the most part with amazingly enough, more suplexes. In an amusing moment, Benoit is just like boy please and starts throwing Steiner around with them.

Ross points out something interesting by saying that no one in this Rumble has won before. Again, that’s the point of an announcer. Lines like that can do a lot as far as elevating a match. Number 9 is MATT FREAKING MORGAN! They know he’s awesome even here where he’s been around all of a few months. Even WWE bills him as 7’0 tall even though he’s about 6’8. He puts Benoit down with a huge power bomb though.

They refer to him as a rookie here so he hasn’t been around long. I know he came out of nowhere at SS 03 and then left around Mania before coming back as Carlito’s bodyguard. Hurricane is tenth. Morgan throws him out in a few seconds and he lands really badly on his leg and might be legit hurt. He almost puts out Hardy who makes a nice save.

Morgan just looks at him while he comes back in which just looks stupid. Booker is 11th and is apparently a favorite to win this? He has a bad rap version of his theme song. He and Steiner go at it and we get a WCW reference. Benoit and Morgan just sounds like a TNA dream match. Ross says that Benoit is still alive somehow. That’s a creepy line. Morgan has shrunk to 6’10 apparently but grows back to 6’11 before Kane is in at 12.

Steiner goes out off camera thanks to Booker. Morgan either has lifts in his shoes or something is weird about his height as he’s almost Kane’s size. They do a smart thing though and spin the camera angles a lot while they’re fighting though. As a recap, we have Benoit, Orton, Rhyno (who gores Hardy as I say that for his first noticeable anything in about 10 minutes), Hardy, Morgan, Booker and Kane.

Of those seven, three would be in TNA within four years. That’s either saying a lot or nothing at all and I’m not sure which. Kane is the only person up as the clock goes down to zero. The lights go out and a gong sounds. To say the crowd pops is an understatement. Kane had buried Taker alive (again) back at Survivor Series. Only in wrestling would that make perfect sense.

That had ended the biker gimmick as Taker would come back as the Dead Man at Mania to face Kane in a glorified squash match. Kane is distracted and Booker puts him out. Spike comes out as number 13 and never gets in the ring. You figure out why not. Rikishi is in at 14 after about a minute of waiting. Benoit puts out Rhyno as Rikishi gets in. Morgan gets a stink face as he must be counting the days to getting to TNA. Tazz mentions that Benoit is hanging in there, which sent a chill up my spine.

Less than 75 seconds later, Renee Dupree is number 15. He actually puts Matt Hardy out with relative ease. That’s surprising if nothing else. Rikishi puts him out a few seconds later. A-Train is in at 16 as he must be about gone from the company at this point. Yeah he would be gone in November after getting hurt in the summer. Benoit puts Morgan out. Orton puts out Booker and Rikishi in about 15 seconds. That’s not bad at all.

Benoit puts out A-Train just as Shelton gets in at number 17. A-Train goes over the ropes and to the floor, and Tazz says that he thinks A-Train is out and I shake my head. Orton puts out Shelton and we’re back to where we started out. Both are down as a guy in a fake afro comes out to introduce Ernest Miller at 18. This was one of the dumbest signings ever as Miller was barely over in WCW so he got hired here for no apparent reason.

Anyway, after dancing badly for a bit, Orton puts him out. In a very funny moment, Benoit tries to throw out Lamont, the guy that did the introduction but as he runs him to the ropes to throw him, just the hair goes off. It’s a lot better than it sounds. Angle is 19th to a HUGE pop. This is kind of a dream trip in there really. Naturally he and Benoit beat the tar out of each other.

Rico, now in his full gay stage, is 20th. Tazz sums him up in one line: you have to be as tough as Rico to wear those pants in the Royal Rumble. Rico was a guy that never got a fair shake as a wrestler. He was chained down by his gimmick and no one could ever take him seriously. If nothing else though, I’ve never heard a single bad thing about him and before and after wrestling he was a police officer in Nevada where he graduated at the top of his class both times.

Like him or not, that’s very impressive. Orton hits an RKO on him and puts him out. As Benoit and Angle beat even more tar out of each other, Test is 21st as no one cares. Main reason no one cares is he’s not here. Orton hits an RKO on Angle as we cut to the back where Test is out cold. Austin, who was sheriff or something like that at the time yells at someone we can’t see that they’re now number 21 as it was apparently the guys that did this to Test.

Austin sounds like Christian Bale from Dark Knight. It’s Mick Foley as the roof is completely gone after being blown off by his music. This was during an angle where Foley was afraid of Orton and refused to fight him on Raw back in December so he left the company. Ross says he knew Foley wasn’t a coward. The look on Orton’s face is absolutely perfect as he’s scared to death. Foley beats the living tar out of him and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them out.

Foley beats on him even more on the floor as Christian is number 22. Oddly enough ECW is on at the moment and he’s in the main event (shocking isn’t it?). Orton is just getting killed by Foley this whole time. Scratch that he’s coming back with a SICK chair shot to Mick’s head. They fight up the entry way as they set up Rock and Foley vs. Evolution at Mania and the EPIC hardcore match at Backlash.

If you haven’t seen the Backlash match, go get Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses and check that match out. It’s a great DVD too. The final disc has four Foley matches on it where you can pick between original commentary or Foley and Joey Styles which is a cool idea. Nunzio is 23rd but he walks into Socko on the ramp. We haven’t seen anything in the ring for about a minute and a half at this point, but in this case it’s ok. The crowd is WAY into this.

Orton runs away and Foley staggers after him. Nunzio (Little Guido for you ECW fans) sits at ringside while everyone else fights in the ring. Tazz makes fun of Christian wearing pink tights. Ross says some great Canadians have worn pink tights which shuts Tazz up FAST. Big Show is in at 24. He’s finally back in normal looking tights which I couldn’t be happier about. Again, Ross says something very insightful: Yoko and Studd were both #24 when they won.

See, again, that’s something no one would ever pick up on and it offers something to think about. That’s the sign of a great announcer. Jericho is number 25. We have far too high of a Canadian to American ratio in there. Haas is in at 26th. Nunzio is still sitting outside. Jericho puts out Christian for the second year in a row apparently. Billy Gunn is 27th and is apparently returning.

Why in the world is he getting a pop? I just don’t get it. He gets a Fameasser on both Angle and Show which Ross points out is a bad idea because you have to have Show up to put him out. Ross stays on fire tonight by pointing out that number 27 has produced the most winners in history. Even Tazz says Ross is on a roll tonight.

Cena is number 28 to a solid pop. He would win his first title, the US, at Mania over Show who he’s feuding with at the moment. He puts Nunzio into the ring but gets jumped by the Italian and Show. Show slaps Nunzio on the back and Tazz says that’ll shake your ribs cheeks. Where in the world did that come from??? RVD is 29th and we know Goldberg is 30th. Cena hits the FU on Angle.

Your final grouping as Goldberg comes in: Benoit, Haas, Nunzio, Angle, Show, Jericho, Gunn, Cena, RVD and Goldberg. That’s a pretty sweet grouping when you think about it. Of the ten in there, you have four former world champions and three that would be champion in the future. That’s not bad at all. Goldberg destroys everyone in sight and throws out Haas. There goes Gunn. Nunzio is out. He sets to Jackhammer Big Show and here’s Brock to screw that up.

He nails Goldberg and then Angle throws him out during the stare down. If either guy was staying at Mania, that could have been EPIC. We’ve got six now. Show gets the Andre treatment which doesn’t work at all. Everyone keeps beating on him and then they realize they screwed up because he’s out cold and weighs 500lbs.

Ok, I get that he’s dead weight, but Angle has freakish strength and RVD holds a world record for a dead lift while doing the splits, yet five grown professional wrestlers can’t get him up? Show just goes insane and puts out Cena and RVD. Jericho shows his intelligence and gets the Walls of Jericho on Show. Show puts him out with one arm to just show off. The final three are Angle, Benoit and Show.

If nothing else they’ve saved the best guys for the ending. Angle hits an Angle Slam on Show which never stops being impressive. Benoit takes one that’s close to it but not quite. Show gets a chokeslam but Angle rolls through it into an ankle lock and Show taps again.

In an awesome looking sequence, Show is in the ankle lock and climbs up the ropes, then he kind of rolls forward over them to pull Angle out, because Angle couldn’t you know, LET GO OF HIS FREAKING LEG or something like that. Benoit rolls through a chokeslam with the most basic counter there is to it and continues his streak of being the only guy in history to consistently work on the right arm of an opponent.

Show taps again. That’s a nice bit of continuity there as all three submission guys manages to get him to tap but it means nothing. I like it though as it shows they’ve at least thought this out a bit. It’s so simply yet it ties the match together and shows that while Jericho and Angle are both great, they’re not as great as Benoit as only he gets rid of Show in the end. That’s a nice little touch and it works so well.

Show is in that thing for at least thirty seconds too so that has to hurt. Show breaks it with a similar counter to what Bradshaw did earlier. Benoit breaks the hour mark. Show, with his handlebar mustache, gets Benoit in a gorilla press but Benoit shifts into a chancers (DDT grip with the arm held also) to pull Show over the ropes and in a cool looking finish gets enough leverage to get him out.

That’s a perfect ending as Benoit didn’t use power or some contrived move. He did what he does best: got a hold on Show and used leverage to get him out. That’s textbook Benoit and it’s the only way he should have won this. The pop is great and for smarks everywhere, this was a perfect moment.

Rating: A. This was a great Rumble for multiple reasons. First of all, Benoit wasn’t focused on until the very end, which made it far less obvious that he was going to be the winner. He blended into the background, which helped him out a lot here. In the 92 Rumble where Flair more or less went wire to wire, he was the focus of the match. Here, Benoit was mentioned but it was far more casual. Second, the ending 6 or so were awesome.

There were a bunch of people there that could have won. Angle winning wouldn’t have surprised anyone I don’t think, and Show is always a legit contender in something like this. This match went very well and while it may not have been great, it was very fun. That’s the best way to describe it: fun.

Overall Rating: C+. The Rumble I the only thing here worth anything. Look back at the show and see what else you have. The tag title match is a squash, the Cruiserweight title match is 3 minutes long, Eddie vs. Chavo is ok at best, Hardcore Holly got a title shot, and Shawn and HHH had a decent but far from great match with a bad ending. Then you have a great Rumble. That’s not a lot to go on really.

The part that kills it for me is HHH and Shawn being the only other match longer than eight and a half minutes. Seriously, you couldn’t chop off 6 minutes of that and give three each to the first two matches? Overall, the show isn’t much at all, but the Rumble is great.

I won’t really recommend it as a lot of this stuff felt like it was from a 3 hour special or something. This wasn’t much, but the Benoit Rumble win is great stuff. You won’t find a better example of someone being launched into the main event than that right there. Definitely check that out, but other than that take a pass.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (2019 Redo): Undertaker’s Next Monster

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (2012 Redo): Viva La Series

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Maven (the first Tough Enough winner and on Team Orton tonight in the biggest match of his career) offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach but Snitsky jumps Maven and busts him open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized that he was in WAY over his head.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants, as had been his custom in recent weeks. Undertaker does the big long entrance to get the crowd back into things. He stares at Heidenreich for a few moments before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Undertaker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Undertaker against the post again and we head to the floor.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Undertaker arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Undertaker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (Original): Dang It Orton

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have entered into what I guess you would call a new era in the company. Orton has split from Evolution as it is starting to crumble. Batista is on the rise as he would win the 2005 Rumble to set up his first title reign. Over on Smackdown, JBL is the reigning champion in the middle of that one title reign that he never stopped talking about. It’s hard to put a finger on it but you can just simply feel that things have begun to change into what we would consider the modern era of WWE.

Cena and Batista would take their spots as the kings of the company in about five or six months. Your main event tonight is HHH’s team vs. Orton’s team, where the winners get control of Raw for the next month. Yet again, this just seems like a preview for next month. Over on Smackdown we have JBL defending against Booker in the random non-feud of the month. This looks weak on paper, but let’s try it out.

We get a video about the history of the Survivor Series. This is painfully weak. If it tells you anything, Snitsky and Maven are in the main event tonight. How scary is that?

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero

Wow Kidman had a job at this point? This is one fall by the way. Kidman’s music makes me want to die quickly. Billy hurt Chavo with the shooting star, which is one of the main reasons it was banned for as long as it was. Kidman and Spike are your heels here, in case for some reason you care. If that’s the case, I’d recommend a doctor. I know I say that Spike should be only fighting small guys, but he really shouldn’t be wrestling at all. He’s just annoying.

Cole runs through the rules as I think they might have finally picked the perfect opener. More or less no one is going to care about this match but it’ll be full of high spots so if nothing else people will get hyped up over it, or at least they’re supposed to. Tazz recommends that someone hide in a corner, which really isn’t all that bad of an idea. This is the location of the first two Survivor Series as well as the 1992 show so this is the New York of Survivor Series I guess.

Using his expert analytical skills, Tazz points out that the move we just saw was indeed a knee of the ribs. They’re going with the formula here of having two guys go at it and two guys down, which gives the match a bit of a Mexican flare to it. I think I like that. Spike was in his Boss phase here where somehow he was in charge of Bubba and D-Von, because that just makes perfect sense. Now we’re getting into what this should be: a massive spotfest.

Spike crashes when he tries his and that is just great for some reason. We go to Billy vs. Chavo which is the hot feud I guess. In case you didn’t notice the first 20 times they said it, there’s a slim chance that Spike will hold the title as they more or less give away the ending. Why does Tazz keep using the term pin cover? I don’t think anyone else uses that and I’m not sure if I like it. I hate cruiserweight matches where they try to be slow and technical.

Cole continues saying stupid things by saying all four of these men want to become champion of the world. One of them already is you dolt. Somehow they tried to make the Shooting Star Press into a heel move. Seriously? Why would you try to do something like that? It’s one of the most impressive looking moves there is and it will never not get a solid pop.

What’s the smart thing to do of course? Try to make it evil of course, because the only thing that matters are heels, especially tiny ones that are SO intimidating. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog which fails because…because…well because he tried it on Rey Mysterio that’s why.

Chavo hits the Gory Bomb, which of course according to Cole connects. Listen to a Cole match and see how many times he uses that word. It blows Vintage away. In a rather anti-climactic ending, Spike steals the pin after Kidman drops a springboard leg on Chavo. That just wasn’t that interesting of an ending.

Rating: C+. This was probably the best choice for an opener, but I’m not sure if it worked that well. The high spots were fine but Spike was just sucking the life out of this thing. I get that he’s a heel, but there’s not supposed to be depth to matches like these. They’re about big spots and getting the crowd into the show, so why have someone there that’s just slowing things down? I don’t get that. The match was ok but it just didn’t feel right so take that for what you will.

Heyman and Heidenrich are in the back as Paul tries to fire him up. Snitsky shows up and they have an odd exchange. Their mouths are far too close during this. Snitsky likes what his poetry and Heidenrich likes what Snitsky does to babies. They would start a very short tag team feud against Kane and Taker soon. For the record, Snitsky had caused Lita to have a miscarriage if that explains anything. Their noses were touching. That’s just odd.

Here’s the pointless theme song that no one will remember in two weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Benjamin won the title in a relative shocker at Taboo Tuesday, beating Jericho for it as well as winning the rematch. Christian is getting the shot because he just wanted one I guess. He would be leaving for TNA in about a year at this point. This is more or less the wet dream of any IWC fan and clearly should main event Wrestlemania because….well just because.

I love the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s music. This is right before Shelton became the hottest thing in the world and about six months before the classic he had with Shawn at Raw that was the high point of his career. Ross says that Shelton may be a better athlete than Lebron James. Wow indeed. Christian slaps him and gets punched for his troubles.

Shelton gets a sweet springboard clothesline to take out Christian for two. Tomko is at ringside with Christian as he continues to be completely worthless. They chop it out as Christian shouts that he IS Captain Charisma. Benjamin is just scary with how athletic he is out there. Tomko gets involved and it allows Christian to shove Shelton to the floor to take over.

Ross and Lawler get into an argument as to whether you’re cheating if you choke to four. That’s a very good question actually. Christian hammers on Shelton for a good while but here comes Shelton. Solid stuff here so far. Shelton gets a counter into a slingshot reverse suplex for two. Nice. Stinger Splash misses and Christian gets an Edgecution for a long two.

Christian brings the Title in and it gets kicked back in his face. Tomko kicks Shelton’s head off for a two and a solid pop on the kickout. Shelton hits the Dragon Whip on Tomko and there’s the T-Bone on Christian to retain. Sweet match and Shelton looked great here.

Rating: B. THIS should have opened the show. This is what both guys should be doing: wrestling in the midcard and having the best stuff on the show. That’s where Christian and Shelton both fail for me: the company and fans on WZ think that they’re ready to take over the reins of the company and they’re just simply not there yet.

Now maybe they will be someday, but at the moment they’re just not prepared yet. Also, not everyone is going to be able to be a main event guy. Look at Kofi for example. Anyway, this was very solid and it was this time period where Shelton got the reputation that he has now, which is what the IC belt is supposed to be about.

Edge and Angle cross paths in the back with Angle talking about how Edge has never won the title. This is psycho Angle that was some of the fun stuff. This was a pretty intense segment with two guys that have a solid background. I’d like to see Edge come back like this where he’s a heel but not by much. Angle tries to go to the ring but runs into Eugene and suddenly I wish I had a gun or a hatchet. Eugene sings Kurt’s song and the hatchet might not be fast enough.

Hey! Here’s a Wrestlemania moment that has absolutely nothing to do with this show! It’s Austin winning his first title in case you were wondering.

Tazz and Cole plug Mania 21.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Angle, Carlito, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak
Guerrero, Big Show, John Cena, RVD

Angle was hanging out with Reigns and Jindrak at the time and they were feuding with both Big Show and Guerrero separately so there’s that. Cena and Carlito had been having a feud over the US Title which Carlito won from him in his debut match. Since then, Cena was stabbed in a club and had to take time off. The theory was that it was Carlito but there was actually a rumor going around the internet that they were going to bring in New Jack of all people to have been the attacker.

Cena comes out last and immediately chases Carlito off. Cena fights both he and his bodyguard Jesus into the back with absolute ease. The bell hasn’t rung at this point and I have no idea what the wrestlers are in the ring doing during all of this stuff. Jesus and the anti-swallower get away in a car that they steal to add auto theft to their list of crimes. Those are just great things to show on television there Vince. Cena heads back to the arena as I guess they were brawling in the meantime?

The bell finally rings and we have Show vs. Jindrak. Cena’s back so it’s already 4-3. Oh and Angle, Jindrak and Reigns had recently shot Show with a tranquilizer and shaved his head to explain why he’s so ticked off. Everyone beats on Mark because he just completely sucks. That’s a pretty good face team. Who’s the least accomplished on there? RVD I guess? Tazz fails by trying to compare one of these matches to a baseball game.

Eddie pulls off some amazing looking stuff as this was likely some of the best stuff he ever had during this time of his career. That made no sense but a translation would be he was doing very well at this point in time. A little interference from Angle turns the tide though. I’ve never quite gotten that expression. I get what it means but it just sounds odd to me and always has.

Reigns and Jindrak both could have been good but for some reason they both just completely failed. Tazz gets their names wrong. That tells me either one of two things. Number one, they’re so generic that they’re identical, or that everything is fine with Tazz. Barring a few seconds at the beginning, this has been all Eddie which I guess could work but at the same time it’s kind of stupid. I do kind of like the slow pace they’re working here if it builds up to a hot finish.

Now it’s just getting boring as we’re getting a lot of headlocks and chinlocks which just suck the life out of the match. Ironically they were talking about the You Suck chant as I typed that. At the time Jindrak was a combination of Buff Bagwell and Rick Rude but with somehow less talent than Bagwell. He does the hip swivel and it looks awful. The announcers talk about how he’s stepped up huge. That’s just a scary thought.

Van Dam comes in and for reasons that I don’t want to know, Cole calls him supple. He sets for the Five Star on Angle but Mark pulls him out of the way. Is that what he’s there for? Just to be a jerk/show off, Van Dam jumps over Angle and hits Jindrak who is about ¾ of the way across the ring. RVD is one of the few people that I’ve ever been in awe of. He hurts his ribs on the splash (naturally) and Angle rolls him up and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

In a funny yet stupid moment, Eddie slips in the back while Angle is arguing with the referee to roll up Jindrak and use the ropes the same way Angle just did to make it 3-2. Ok, so two reasons why this was stupid. Number one, Jindrak wasn’t legal. Two, the announcers LOVE Eddie’s cheating yet booed the heck out of Angle. I know they’re faces and heels but at least pretend to not be biased guys.

After some stalling we have Big Show vs. Angle which lasts for all of a stare down and now we have Reigns in there instead. Oh yeah Show has a messed up ankle. They did such a great job of covering it that I was blown away enough to not mention it. Despite the pain, Show shows up and hits the chokeslam to make it three on one. Show immediately sets for a chokeslam on Angle but Kurt counters into an ankle lock.

Angle tries to run but RVD is waiting for him. For some reason, Angle picks to fight the three. In a funny spot he backs up still facing RVD and backs into Show. He stops and looks nervous and reaches up towards Show’s head where he realizes there’s no hair. He shakes his head and slowly turns around. It’s a lot better than it sounds mainly due to Kurt’s facial expressions.

Show sends him in to Cena (in for the first time in the match) but apparently he’s not legal as Eddie hits a Frog Splash to allow Show to pin him. Cena was never legal so I’m guessing injured still. Now that I think about it I think he really was hurt at this time. Actually never mind. He was making the Marine.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. It started off decently enough but then in the end it was like they were told to hurry up and then everyone went out at a ridiculous pace. Cena wasn’t hurt so I have no clue why he wasn’t in there at all. The faces winning was more or less a given once you look at the lineups, so this just wasn’t entertaining at all really. It could have been good, but it just fell flat, but to be fair they were only going to be able to do so much with it.

Buy the history of the AWA which most of the people that were watching this PPV have never heard of!

This must be the strangest PPV of all time as Maven is getting interview time. If nothing else he’s heavily muscled. He’s bad on the mic but gets cut off by Snitsky. After a rather bad beating and by bad I mean pathetic looking, Maven is carried away.

We get a video about the crazy Heidenrich vs. Undertaker, who really wasn’t that impressive at all. He rammed his car into a hearse Taker was in after costing him the world title at No Mercy.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Apparently I’ve been spelling his name wrong. However it’s likely that I’ll be flipping between the two spellings. He comes out in a straightjacket because he’s CRAZY! He’s also about as stock of a villain as you can possibly imagine. I mean he’s just there and there’s nothing at all to suggest that he’s a tough guy at all. The story here is that Taker can’t use his mental games on Heidenrich. Oh come on now.

For years now everyone Taker feuded with has been “immune” to his games or whatever. They just don’t try with Taker so often and it sucks. Oh and Heidenreich allegedly raped Cole. You had to see it and the comedy alone is worth checking on. Naturally since Taker can’t win against this guy, he opens the match completely dominant. Heyman’s interference prevents Old School to give Jon (Heidenreich’s first name and way easier to type) the advantage.

Taker gets crotched on the post. That’s just creepy for some reason. Are his balls dead too? They hit the floor for awhile with Jonny (no not the admin) in control. Even Taker looks bored out there. That can’t be a good sign. Cole talks down about Heidenreich as he desperately tries to validate his employment. I know he’s improved to an extent, but dang he used to be horrible. He’s beginning to put emphasis on vintage here too, so it’s officially begun.

Old School hits to a bunch of flashbulbs going off. In a cool thing, they point out how many things Taker has done at Survivor Series. How cool is it that a guy has dominated two major pay per views like this? Taker hits a downward spiral which I don’t think I remember him ever using other than this. Apparently Heidenreich has taken everything Taker has to offer. Other than the chokeslam, tombstone or Last Ride of course, but those have never been worth anything anyway.

Cole points out that Jon is talking to himself with every move he makes. Given his limited skill, it’s likely him reminding himself to breathe in and out, and as I type that Heyman is screaming don’t let him breathe! Paul, that’s called murder and that’s a bad thing. Also, Heyman in a beige suit doesn’t work. He screams at Heidenrich that he’s Heidenrich. Is he afraid the dog catcher is going to think he’s a stray or something?

This is just taking forever and it’s painfully generic. They go to a punch out and naturally Taker wins this. He goes to the top and hits a cool looking diving clothesline which gets the crowd breathing. There’s two problems with this match. First of all, Heidenreich sucks and he sucks badly. Second, this is going FAR too long. We’re at about ten minutes already and it should have ended at least three ago.

The crowd is dead with even a big move from Heidenreich and a long two getting next to no reaction. There’s far too many punches to from Jon and it’s boring. Just to step it up a bit, he goes to the middle rope and punches. In what should have put us out of our misery, he grabs the bottom rope to break up the pin. This isn’t fair. Oh come on Jonny. A sleeper now? Oh good Taker reversed it.

There’s your boring chant which should have come about 10 minutes ago. Taker sits up to a mild reaction. One of the most famous spots of all time barely got anything from the crowd. That just isn’t a good sign at all. A generic chokeslam leads to a generic tombstone to a generic pin to perfectly cap off this boring match.

Tazz tries to say this is the furthest Taker has ever been pushed. That’s just flat out hysterical. Actually no it isn’t. It’s freaking sad that a man has to lie like that on national television.

Rating: D. This was just boring. There are times when the wrestling is ok, but it’s just that this formula has been done so many times that I’ve run out of numbers for it. How many times have you seen Taker against some big man that you know he’s going to beat and then have a gimmick match against? Naturally there was a casket match at the Rumble because things just wouldn’t be complete without that to continue this.

Thankfully Jon was gone relatively soon after this, at least from major matches. Amazingly he would stay in the company for an entire year after this, even winning a tag title as a member of the new Legion of Doom. Just thinking of that makes my head hurt. Anyway, this was horrible, mainly due to Heidenreich but Taker isn’t innocent either.

Bischoff says that Maven might not be able to compete and there won’t be a replacement.

We get the recap of Trish vs. Lita which begs the question of why these two need a storyline. Lita, the face, lost her baby due to Snitsky and Trish found it amusing. The recap is complete with a pic of Kane in a white tux so it wins based on that alone. Lita really can’t act.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

As I said, Lita is the face and challenger here. For once, Trish looks better than Lita here. I think it’s the evil thing. Lita has some weird suspenders thing on. She beats the living heck out of Trish and we’re on the floor already. Make your own joke for that line. The redhead grabs a chair and swings at Trish twice with both times completely missing.

I mean the camera shows that they don’t hit at all, and even though Trish’s face was away from the chair, meaning they would have hit her in the back or back of the head, she’s busted open. Knowing Trish, she was hurt to explain why this wasn’t an actual match. Upon further review, she had a broken hand so at least this makes sense.

Lita uses what’s called a rear naked choke on Trish which is really more like her just choking her and shaking on the floor. We get more stuff of Lita trying to injure Trish’s face which led to her wearing a nose protector for a few weeks. This would lead to the first ever women’s match main eventing Raw for the Women’s Title in early December which was a very cool moment.

Rating: N/A. It’s a minute and a half and an angle instead of a match so no grade.

Team Guerrero is happy to have won. Teddy comes in and Big Show takes his towel off which is passed over. Cena, clad in boxers, is told that he’s getting a US Title shot. He would get it on Smackdown and destroy him to get the belt hack. I really don’t like this gimmick of Cena’s.

Recap of Booker vs. JBL, which more or less was this: Booker want a shot, he beats Orlando Jordan, he gets a shot, JBL talks down to him, match. That was the issue with JBL’s title reign: it was ridiculously repetitive with the other flaw being that no one bought him as a credible champion yet, but who cared about that?

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Booker T

This just sounds bad on paper. I mean think about it. Can you picture these two having a good match together? I certainly can’t. Amazingly enough, the match itself is as boring as I imagined it. The announcers are trying to make this seem like a great match or something but it just isn’t. JBL comes out in the big white limo of his which was his signature as you likely know. Booker just looks like he knows he has no chance at all out there tonight.

There’s just not a lot to say about this match. Nothing stands out at all. It’s just two older guys going through the motions which is never a good thing. I really don’t think JBL had the character down in any sense of the word here and you can tell that based on just how plain his offense is. The announcers are no help at all here as they offer no reason as to why we should buy Booker having a shot.

With the HHH feud the previous year, Booker had pinned HHH on Raw which showed us that it was possible. Here he had only been beating on Orlando Jordan which meant nothing at all. Oh look it’s a sleeper! Oh wait, it’s a cobra clutch! Ok wait a second. Not only did JBL completely rip off Ted DiBiase’s gimmick but now he’s trying to steal his finishing hold. My head hurts from this match.

Orlando tries to do a run in but gets beaten up. He’s been out there for most of the match cheating here and there but now he’s stepped it up a bit. I very rarely skip large portions of the match in these, but I’ve gone about five minutes of video and haven’t typed anything for the simple reason of there’s nothing to talk about.

It’s just not an interesting match in the slightest and I have no interest in it. JBL gets knocked into the referee and naturally Booker finally gets the kick but we have no referee. After some Jordan interference a belt shot ends this. Really, that’s the ending they chose? It’s perfect I guess, as it’s as generic and uncreative as I can think of.

Rating: F. This was just awful all around. There was no build up, there was no drama, there was no good wrestling, and there was no reason to watch this. It was boring and the ending was even worse, so what else could I grade this as? I can’t believe I’m saying this but bring on HHH vs. Orton as it has to be better than what I just saw.

Promo for Tribute to the Troops, which is just flat out cool.

Batista is in the back and HHH comes up to him. They more or less say that once they win the partnership with Edge and Snitsky is over. Like I said earlier the winning team gets to run Raw for a month. After HHH leaves, Batista implies to Flair that he would give himself a title match. This was right about when they started pushing Batista as the super beast that he became known as being, leading to his face turn around February.

He was getting huge reactions for months before that but was still heel. You could see it coming, but it was quite well done. He would eventually turn after winning the Rumble where he was considering whether to face HHH or JBL at Mania. He overheard HHH and Flair saying they were leading him around by the nose and he was a face by the end of the night, setting up the inevitable showdown with HHH that everyone knew was coming eventually.

The recap is painfully simple with clips of Evolution running Raw for one night and the face team standing up to them, leading to Bischoff making this match. Of course it’s set to the theme song, which is a decent enough song, but it has no connection to the match at all.

That’s what sucked about the songs: they completely didn’t fit and when they did, they were used for all of one segment on the show and other than that were always playing in the background. Unless you just really liked the song you were so sick of it by the end of the show that you didn’t care about it anymore.

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

HHH, Batista, Snitsky, Edge
Orton, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Maven

Wow those entrances too way too long. Remember there’s no Maven due to the earlier attack. My guess would be this is Vince coming to his senses about putting Maven in the main event of a major PPV. We start with Edge and Benoit which works just fine for me. Edge in purple tights just looks a bit odd. We move over to Snitsky who is apparently goofier than a pet coon. Who has a pet raccoon? Seeing Orton as a young face is just strange to see.

He stops to pose for a second which gets a solid pop. He really could be a good face if he had more hair. The face team is tagging a lot as Jericho is in now. HHH comes in and the noise noticeably drops. The people were just fed up with him at this point which I think is why Orton got such a great reaction: he was something new. Apparently there’s a stipulation that says that Orton can’t challenge for the belt as long as HHH is world champion.

We get some Batista and Orton since they’re the future and all and somehow still are to this day, five years later. The tags are really fast here which is an issue because it keeps there from being a flow to the match, which is the worst thing that can happen to it, at least in my eyes. The crowd is SILENT. I mean there’s nothing at all and it sounds like there’s no one there. I know it’s a small crowd but they could make more noise than this my goodness.

Benoit wakes them up a bit at least, and I mean that in the most literal of sense. The rolling Germans really do get the people going for a bit and they’re at least popping for big spots so we don’t need 7,500 coffins. While everyone else is brawling, Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on HHH but Edge breaks it up. In some hot Canadian on Canadian action we have Edge in a crossface. Batista breaks it up, leading to one of the worst pedigrees of all time on Benoit.

Edge covers him and takes the win to make it unofficially 4-2. Nice job guys. You have gotten rid of the only person that’s actually getting anything out of the crowd tonight. It’s Edge against Jericho now but as I say that HHH and Snitsky argue over who tagged Edge which includes at least one F bomb. Batista and Snitsky argue as well which gets us a second. Flair gets thrown out for messing with Jericho.

That gets people going as I guess they were just bored at the beginning when nothing was really going to happen, so I guess that makes sense. Since he’s awesome, Batista takes both Orton and Jericho down at the same time. He hits a heck of a spinebuster on Jericho but gets caught with an awful belt shot from Orton and a running enziguri which Jericho was using as a second finisher until he realized it sucked to make it 3-2 or really 3-3 gives how you look at it.

Snitsky uses the best offensive move that he has by choking Jericho. Orton has a really weird style of punching. He’s changed it since but it just looks really weird. After the faces get their collective faces kicked in, their knight with shining eyebrows comes out in the form of Maven.

Now let me get this straight. I understand that Maven was attacked. I understand that Maven was injured and might not be healthy enough to compete. I understand that he might be acting against doctor’s orders. I even can kind of understand how he should be in the main event as he’s a young guy fighting against the establishment. But why in the world after two hours has he not washed the blood off his face?

He looks completely lost out there too. I mean you can tell that he just isn’t ready for this, which isn’t his fault. Granted he never really got much better, but he just wasn’t ready for this yet. He plays to the crowd decently enough but that’s about all he does right. He’s trying as hard as he OH MY GOODNESS what a chair shot! Snitsky just cracked the living tar out of Maven with a SICK chair shot. He’s gone of course but he hits Jericho and Orton with it first.

HHH covers the unconscious Maven to make it Orton and Jericho against HHH and Edge. Maven really was kind of a sacrificial lamb because he was never in there for the most part and was able to cancel out Snitsky. In other words Snitsky was worth as much as a guy that wasn’t in the match for the most part. These jokes write themselves most of the time but never like that. If you can’t tell who the final two are going to be, you’re a freaking idiot.

Edge starts freaking out because he can’t pin Jericho. Why does that sound like the story of his life? Never mind he gets him after a spear to make it Orton against two tall guys, which isn’t a great way to describe them because they’re all about 6’4. We get a pretty boring back and forth segment with Edge vs. Orton a longer version with HHH playing the part of the egotistical jerk in a joke that I don’t even need to make.

They go for the double team and shockingly enough the spear misses and HHH is down. You know what, that was so predictable that it wasn’t even funny to me. It’s such a cliché anymore than it’s absurd. Edge turns around and takes an RKO to get us down to one on one. Orton needs to start doing it like that again. He does it in a more fluid motion at the moment and I’m not a fan of it at all.

This is more Orton is just right there waiting and partially on his way down already when Edge turns around. The impact is a lot better and the move looks better this way. Also he does it with one arm which I like more as well.

Anyway after about two minutes he counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the clean pin, which moves the storyline along because Orton has shown he can beat HHH but isn’t allowed to challenge him, thus strengthening his heel character. Only HHH could come up with a way to get stronger by losing clean.

Rating: B-. This was….ok. That’s the only think I can think of to describe it and it has to have the ellipse which is a two dollar word currently on sale for 89 cents and it means the three dots. The wrestling is pretty good but Maven and Snitsky in the main event? Really? Also Edge was about at the level of John Morrison at the moment (the day before Hell in a Cell in case he’s done something really big in the last month and a half) so he wasn’t exactly a lock to be in here.

Jericho just looked out of place and they had already stopped Benoit’s push as he goes from world champion to first guy out. The match is ok, but it’s really nothing great. Orton won though which was the absolute right ending.

Overall Rating: C-. If I had one word to describe this show, it would be lackluster. I mean look at it. What on the card would make you want to watch this show for free, let alone for 40 dollars? This would have been ok for something like Judgment Day maybe, but not Survivor Series. This is just nothing special at all, plain and simple.

Shelton and Christian or the main event gets match of the night more or less by default which is never a good sign at all. This is definitely not recommended as it just isn’t an interesting show. The wrestling is passable, but there’s just nothing here to make me want to see this at all, which has given me a thread idea so there we go.

 

 

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