IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 2004
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Unforgiven and things are back to the normal levels of bleak. In this case, that’s due to HHH winning the World Title again, because Randy Orton had his four week reign and needed to be eradicated once and for all. I’m sure he’ll get some title shots going forward, but it’s pretty clear that his time has already come and gone. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ric Flair, Batista and a bunch of women are in the ring for HHH’s title celebration. Flair introduces the new champ as the confetti falls. Great now it’s going to be all over ringside all night. There’s also a huge cake, which is clearly the kind with a person inside to jump out. HHH says you can feel the excitement in the air because the king is back on his throne. This is the happiest he’s sounded in months, which certainly does make sense for him.

All of the girls kneel in front of him, so HHH says there will be plenty of time for getting on their knees. Normally I’d make a PG joke but the Diva Search girls have made that one sound tame. HHH talks about Orton spitting on him a few weeks back, but now he’s laughing again. Then he spit in the fans’ faces and they can’t even wipe it off because he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

The girls rip his shirt off but HHH looks at the cake, which he knows has someone inside. Flair and Batista didn’t send it, so it must have been Bischoff. An explosion goes off and of course it’s Orton to take out Evolution. So…..was there a girl in there in the first place and Orton kidnapped her? Or did he just pay off the production people? HHH gets thrown into the hole in the cake, leaving his feet kicking in the air for a funny bit. Not funny enough to validate HHH getting another long promo or another title reign or how obvious the whole thing was, but funny.

It’s so funny that we look at it again after a break. During said break, HHH got out of the cake and kept falling over from the icing.

HHH yells at Bischoff and gets Orton in a handicap match tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Robert Conway

William Regal comes out to cancel out Sylvan Grenier. Conway jumps him to start so Benoit slides between the legs and goes with the chops. It’s way too early for the Sharpshooter as Conway bails outside for a breather. Back in and Conway snaps off a suplex to take over, meaning we hit the stomping and choking. A neck crank doesn’t last long as Benoit fights up, only to get thrown to the floor almost immediately.

Back in and Benoit hooks a quick small package for two but Conway chokes him right back down. Conway has him in trouble again as Benoit is giving Conway more than he’s ever gotten in his career. Benoit finally fights back with forearms and a snap suplex for two of his own. It’s time to crank things up and Benoit rolls some German suplexes, setting up the Crossface for the win.

Rating: C-. That’s a fine way to go with Benoit, as he made Conway look good for a little while and then won without much effort as soon as he started putting in some effort. Benoit isn’t about to lose to Conway but Conway can get a lot out of just beating on Benoit for a few minutes. Nothing great or even very good, but what we got was fine.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back.

Taboo Tuesday is coming.

Here’s Stacy Keibler for this week’s Diva Search segment, which is a Seattle Slugfest. Molly Holly (with her regular hair) comes out to interrupt instead though and says the girls can have their “sl**” fest later (that’s a major swear from Molly). For right now though, it’s time for the two of them to have a competition of their own, with Stacy getting the pick.

That would be a dance off, but Molly had eight years of ballet classes. She requests to dance to William Regal’s music and does just fine, as expected. Stacy does the kind of dance you would expect from her and seems to be declared the winner. Molly jumps her from behind, drawing in Nidia, Gail Kim, Victoria and Trish Stratus for the big brawl. Bischoff, six woman, bell.

Trish Stratus/Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Stacy Keibler/Nidia/Victoria

Joined in progress with the Nidia hitting Trish with a middle rope crossbody. A spinebuster cuts Nidia down for two though and some right hands keep Nidia in trouble. It’s off to Gail as the fans want Stacy, likely due to her barely existing skirt. Gail’s half crab has Nidia screaming until she makes a rope. Molly comes in as Lawler makes jokes about the Diva Search girls boxing later. A neckbreaker takes Gail down and thankfully it’s off to Victoria instead of Stacy. Victoria gets to clean house on her own until Molly ties her in the Tree of Woe. That’s enough for Stacy to tag herself in though and grab a rollup to pin Molly.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Stacy has no business being in there and Nidia isn’t exactly good either. That leaves four women to carry a six woman tag and it’s not the easiest thing in the world when one of the women worked most of the match. It wasn’t good, but at least it was short and that’s about as good as it gets.

Kane comes in to Bischoff and wants Shawn Michaels tonight. Bischoff can’t do that as Shawn is booked for the Highlight Reel, so Kane grabs him by the throat. Since Shawn isn’t happening tonight, Kane can fight him any other night. As for tonight, Bischoff will find someone and Kane can have a No DQ match with no questions asked.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho talking about last night’s brutal match but it was all worth it (even the ladder suppository) to get the Intercontinental Title back. That’s a record breaking seven times, which brings him to his guest, who is a former Intercontinental Champion in his own right. This brings out Shawn, who talks about beating Kane even uglier than he was before. Jericho agrees that it was impressive, but not quite as impressive as winning the Intercontinental Title for the SEVENTH TIME.

Actually that’s why Shawn is out here, because they’re neck and neck over the years. They’ve met in Seattle before so let’s do it one more time for the title. Cue Christian and Tyson Tomko with Christian talking about how awesome his career has been. He’s so awesome that he should get the Intercontinental Title shot right now. Shawn says deal, as soon as Christian beat shim. Jericho says not so fast, because he knows what is going to happen.

Everyone knows what’s going to happen and is willing to read the front row’s minds. A lot of fans are really excited to see it but section 53 knows that Tyson Tomko is going to interfere. There’s a kid that knows the solution though: let’s have a tag match! So the kid is the reason we’re not seeing Shawn vs. Christian or Jericho? Someone throw that kid in a closet, cover him in peanut butter and let a trio of rabid squirrels loose.

Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho

Joined in progress with Shawn chopping away at Christian (with bad ribs) before handing it off to Jericho for a suplex. It’s already back to Shawn to slug away at Tomko in the corner before tripping him down for a basement dropkick. One heck of a clothesline takes Shawn’s head off (Lawler: “PROBLEM SOLVED!”) and the villains take over. JR uses a neck crank to recap the evening (not the worst idea in the world), followed by Christian coming in to stomp away.

A flying forearm gets Shawn out of trouble though and it’s back to Jericho so the pace can pick up. The springboard dropkick puts Tomko on the floor with Christian following him, setting up the big stereo dives. We take a break (allowing me to drool over the idea Shawn and Jericho as a full time team) and come back with Jericho in trouble as Christian slaps on a chinlock with a knee in the back.

Christian’s backbreaker gets two and Tomko pulls on the ribs again. Jericho finally avoids a charge from Christian and the hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house. The top rope elbow hits Tomko but Christian crotches Shawn against the post for a save. Jericho cuts Christian off and it’s Sweet Chin Music to finish Tomko.

Rating: D+. That’s a “well that happened” if I’ve ever seen one. The more talented team won and it’s not like there was anything important happening here. You can’t tease a Shawn vs. Jericho or Shawn vs. Christian match and then go with this lame tag match, but for some reason that’s as good as we can get. Not a terrible match, but quite the downgrade.

Post match Christian gives Shawn the Unprettier on the floor.

Simon Dean, a fitness guru with his own Simon System of weight loss products, is looking forward to helping us lose weight. This is set up like an old commercial for a product, complete with a phone number and payment plan, which gives me some nice flashbacks to the old WCW days.

It’s Diva Search time with Coach hosting. The three come out with JR having to handle the mini bios, making him sound like a very sad man indeed. Joy is eliminated so Christy and Carmella put on the huge boxing gloves. Thankfully Vince McMahon comes out to interrupt and talk about next week being the season premiere of Raw.

Therefore, next week will see a groundbreaking announcement that affects Bischoff, everyone in the locker room and every fan around here. As for tonight though, Vince has an announcement…for Coach. Instead of the women fighting each other, they’re going to beat up Coach, who has to stand in one place or be fired. The referee even gives them some suggested targets and each of them gets thirty seconds.

Christy hits him low and chokes him down before biting him on the back of the pants. Carmella goes more traditional with rights to the face, one of which knocks Coach down. That means Christy wins, because duh. The winner of the whole thing is announced next week, thank goodness.

Eugene has a very separated shoulder after last week’s attack from HHH.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No DQ. Kane clotheslines him down to start and hits a big boot to the side of the head as Lawler makes fun of JR for not knowing Snitsky. A raised boot in the corner slows Kane down and Snitsky hits those big right hands of his, which start with a big pull back and finish with a bigger follow through. It looks like he’s aiming for Kane’s stomach.

Snitsky hits him low to cut off a chokeslam attempt but Kane kicks him down again. Kane wraps the chair around Snitsky’s throat but Lita gets in and takes it off. That means an argument, allowing Snitsky to chair Kane in the back, sending him right onto Lita. That means a no contest, and likely a miscarriage.

We get the big stretcher job as Lita holds her stomach and Kane tells her that the baby is going to be ok. After a break, we get a BABY KILLER chant, which you don’t get to hear very often.

Smackdown Rebound.

Post break, Kane helps Lita into an ambulance as Stacy and Victoria look on.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton

Flair jumps Orton before the bell so Orton backdrops him down to check off the Bingo square. It’s off to HHH (Not Batista first?) to get punched in the face but Orton slides outside and pulls Batista down onto the apron. Batista comes in legally so Orton slugs away again until a spinebuster takes him down. Now HHH is willing to come in for some shots to the face but the Pedigree is countered with a slingshot, sending HHH crotch first into the buckle. The RKO is loaded up but Batista comes in with the clothesline and that’s a lame DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on until Shelton Benjamin makes his return for the save….and gets beaten down. Benoit makes the real save and Batista takes the beatdown to end the show. Wouldn’t it have been more productive to have those run-ins in reverse? Eh at least the six man should be good.

Overall Rating: D. That ending segment is a perfect compliment to the opener: Orton gets the better of HHH at the beginning and the end, but none of that really matters as HHH is still the champion. That’s not exactly something that makes me want to see where things are going, because things are going in the direction of more HHH on top with HAHA I’M STILL CHAMPION being the big closing line every week. It’s been that way for far too long now and that’s not the right way to make me want to keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Unforgiven 2004
Date: September 12, 2004
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another case of a one match show, which tends to be the case in the HHH era. In this case it’s HHH getting (another) title shot against Randy Orton, who was thrown out of Evolution last month. It’s not exactly a thrilling concept but there’s no escaping HHH’s title hunts of destiny. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Orton being thrown out of Evolution and trying to become the top face in the company by running away over and over. It’s set to Saliva’s Survival of the Sickest, which was the song that kind of finished me with the band. I’m going to be extra sick of it by the end of the show, but that might just be due to hearing about this match all night long.

Batista/Ric Flair vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Batista start things off as Lawler hopes Eugene is home watching the radio. An early Crossface attempt sends Batista bailing to the ropes, followed by a quick takedown for the tag off to Regal. A t-bone suplex drops Batista and it’s back to Benoit, who gets chopped by Flair. The backdrop has Flair in more trouble (as always) and it’s Regal coming in, only to have the knee taken out.

Flair goes…after the arm for some reason, allowing Benoit to come back in for some chops. An enziguri nails Flair and the Flair Flop takes him down right in front of Batista. He’s done that forever and it still makes me chuckle. Batista comes in a few seconds later and blocks a Sharpshooter attempt so it’s back to Regal. This time Evolution actually takes over, after what felt like a long time. Flair gets in more chops and Batista gets two off a neckbreaker. It’s finally time to go after the knee with Flair slapping on the Figure Four.

Benoit makes a quick save so Batista takes Flair’s place with a chinlock. Regal gets up and sends him into the corner for the break though and it’s a hot (ish) tag to Benoit for the real house cleaning. Everything breaks down with Benoit snapping off German suplexes all around. The Swan Dive connects and the Crossface goes on Flair, drawing in Batista to pick Benoit up for the break. Regal sends Batista over the barricade, leaving Benoit to get the Crossface again to make Flair tap.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the slightest spark to it and felt like they were all just missing. It’s more an issue that I’ve seen them do a variety of combinations with these same people over and over to much better results. Regal getting involved is long overdue and I’m glad to see him getting a chance on the bigger stages like this. Everyone was missing here though, which is going to happen every now and then.

Christian doesn’t want Tyson Tomko to go to ringside with Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title match. It doesn’t matter as Christian has to go to the ring alone so what difference does it make? Tomko gets to decide, so Trish invites him to her dressing room after the match. Tomko to Christian: “Good luck.”

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and has Tomko with him. Victoria takes her down to start and the champ bails to the floor in a hurry. As Lawler makes it clear that Trish is NOT a s***, she sends Victoria into the corner for some choking on the rope. That’s broken up and it’s a gorilla press gutbuster to send Trish outside. Tomko takes her away before Victoria can dive and it’s a posting to keep Victoria down again.

We hit the armbar for a bit, followed by a hair pull as the offense devolves a few levels. The chinlock is broken up so Trish grabs a spinebuster for two, followed by another chinlock to keep things fresh. The comeback doesn’t take long with Victoria fighting up and hitting the spinning side slam. Victoria gets two off the dancing moonsault but goes with a slingshot dive onto Tomko instead of following up. Stratusfaction retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t good and it came after an ice cold build that was more about Christian vs. Trish than anything else, even though Christian only came back less than a week ago. This division is still dying for some fresh talent, but that’s been the case for so long now that it’s a feature instead of a condition. They’re trying, but they have no help in terms of build or interest from anyone.

Post match Tomko goes after Victoria, drawing in Stevie in drag for the save. Stevie leaves and Tomko wants him back out here for a match RIGHT NOW.

Stevie Richards vs. Tyson Tomko

Stevie comes back out as JR says this is the worst kept secret in wrestling. Tomko punches him in the face and we start the removal of clothing, because that’s what this match is really about due to whatever bad ideas Vince was having at the time. The wig goes off as well and Tomko shoves Richards’ implants into his mouth. Some right hands have Richards in more trouble as his bra comes off.

Tomko…rubs Stevie’s face as JR sounds ready to walk off the show. The fans on the other hand don’t seem to be there as it’s a mixture of light booing and silence. A slam has Richards in more trouble as the underwear discussion continues. Tomko cranks on the neck and then calls Richards a sissy, which seems to fire him up. Richards throws his wig at Tomko to distract the referee, setting up a testicular claw. Some dropkicks in the corner have Tomko in trouble until he hits the rack neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: WIDANF. For Wrestlers in drag are not funny. I don’t get what WWE sees in this idea and I really, really don’t want to. I would love to have someone explain the point of this whole thing to me or why this needed pay per view time. It really does feel like they threw this out there because Vince would find it funny and nothing more. Lucky us.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Christian for the Intercontinental Title. Edge was champion but got injured and had to forfeit the title, setting up this match with Christian replacing Edge in a ladder match for the vacant Intercontinental Title. Christian had been put on the shelf after a match with Jericho so this was a perfectly logical move and about as good as they had given the circumstances.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Ladder match with the title vacant coming in and no one at ringside. They talk some trash to start until Jericho hits a few suplexes. A trip to the floor lets Jericho throw a ladder at him to no avail so Christian scores with some right hands. Back in and Christian chokes on the ropes so Jericho enziguris him right back down. When all else fails, kick the guy in the head. Another ladder is grabbed and slammed into Christian’s ribs but another big show misses.

They fight into the crowd as JR wants to know the difference between a Peep and a Jericholic. Jericho chokes with a cord but gets pulled into an Unprettier on the floor, which should be enough to win just about any match. Here it’s only enough to get a single hand on the title (those ladders are timely) so Christian ladders him down and puts said ladder onto the top turnbuckle. As expected it’s Christian going face first into the steel instead, with JR saying even barbecue sauce couldn’t make that taste good.

Jericho sets the ladder up but goes into it instead, giving us another double knockdown. A catapult sends Jericho face first into a ladder bridged across the middle rope, followed by Jericho shoving one into Christian’s face for another hard shot. Jericho channels his inner Shawn by riding the ladder down onto Christian’s back and the fans are rather pleased. They’re both hurt so Christian ties him in the Tree of Woe in the ladder and hits a running knee instead of, you know, going for the title.

Christian does climb, so Jericho gets out of the corner and flips him off, which is enough to get Christian down. That earns him a dropkick into the ladder into Christian and Christian sandwiches him in between a ladder. The Lionsault only hits ladder though and Jericho’s knee is banged up pretty badly. Christian takes FOREVER to climb though, allowing Jericho to shake the ladder away, leaving Christian hanging from the belt. The ensuing ladder spot to the ribs and crash are rather snazzy and they’re both down again.

Jericho puts the ladder over Christian and goes up but gets shoved down, just barely saving himself from a crash out to the floor. That’s not enough for Christian to grab the title, but it is enough for him to turn around on the ladder so Jericho can get the Walls on top. That’s STILL not enough for the win as Christian pops up and shoves the ladder over, with Jericho landing tailbone first on the side in a nasty crash. It’s time for the jumbo ladder so they head up at the same time, only to have Jericho pull him down for another double crash landing. Jericho finally (and I do mean finally) gets the title for the win.

Rating: C+. WAY too long here with far too many false finishes hurting things. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it’s the same feeling every time: get on with it already. Jericho winning wasn’t exactly a shock and it took too long to get there. I can understand why they were given this much time if Tomko vs. Richards needed that long in the previous match, but that doesn’t make it much better. The match certainly isn’t bad, but a trimmed down version would have been a lot better.

Lita answers Kane’s door and says she hopes Shawn Michaels crushes Kane’s throat tonight. Kane comes out and laughs at her ranting, saying this is now a No DQ match. He’s going to destroy Shawn and Lita has to watch from ringside. We even get a rather forced kiss for luck.

Jericho says he feels like a king. Edge comes up to say he’s coming for the title, because Jericho knows he can’t beat him.

We recap Kane vs. Shawn Michaels. Kane put Shawn on the shelf a few months ago and has since managed to win Lita in marriage. Lita then used an open contract to set up this match with the hopes of Kane getting hurt just as badly. The injury is only brought up at the end, almost as an afterthought.

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and Lita has been dragged out with Kane, which I’m sure won’t go badly at all. Shawn wastes no time in going after him and Kane is knocked out to the floor with some right hands. Kane misses a charge into the post to make it even worse but manages to uppercut him out of the air back inside. Shawn knocks him outside and even skins the cat back inside because he still has it.

That’s enough for a dive and Lita talks some trash, allowing Kane to hide behind her like a true heel should. A shot to the face puts Shawn down and Kane slams him onto (not through) the announcers’ table. The second slam puts him through instead as the slow pace begins. Shawn gets a boot up in the corner but walks right into a side slam to take him down again. We hit the neck crank with Lita playing cheerleader, much to Lawler’s continued confusion.

Another slam sets up another neck crank, followed by a clothesline to stay on the neck. Shawn fights up and grabs a DDT for the required breather, setting up the more required forearm into the nipup. Since it’s just a forearm, Kane sends him over the corner and out to the floor for a ram into the steps. That means some blood but Shawn kicks a chair away. Kane kicks Shawn away as well though and it’s right back to the floor.

Shawn posts him this time around and knocks Kane down with a single right hand. The top rope elbow gets two but a big boot cuts off Sweet Chin Music. Kane nails the top rope clothesline but Shawn low blows his way out of a chokeslam attempt. One heck of a chair shot knocks Kane silly, though he still gets up first. Lita pulls the chair out though and that’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to knock Kane out for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here and while a rather lengthy eighteen minutes, it didn’t feel long like the previous match. Shawn got his revenge in a violent enough match though it was nothing that we haven’t seen them both do better before. That’s likely it for this mini feud, though you can imagine Kane and Lita continuing for a good while.

Post match Kane yells at Lita, as expected.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back. I didn’t know he left but apparently his last televised match was three months ago. Who knew?

HHH reminds us of how great he is and promises to take Orton out. All of Orton’s success is because of him and tonight, HHH is taking it all away. Somehow this takes the better part of four minutes.

Tag Team Titles: Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and hopefully Tajiri is healthy tonight. The challengers charge into the ring with Tajiri not being able to keep up with Rhyno for an unintentionally funny moment. Grenier shoulders Tajiri down for an early two as the announcers argue about being prejudiced. Tajiri is right back up with some armdrags into an armbar. Conway comes in and gets the same treatment so it’s off to Rhyno to miss a charge in the corner. You can see the empty seats now and that’s rather telling about the importance of this match.

Rhyno knocks Conway down and brings Tajiri back in for more kicks. Something like a DDT drops Tajiri and the champs start their cheating ways. A backbreaker keeps Tajiri down as this is as thrilling as you would have expected. The announcers give up trying to make the match sound important and talk about Orton vs. HHH instead.

Tajiri gets up a kick in the corner so Rhyno can clean house again. A belly to belly and spinebuster get two each on Grenier with Conway making the save. The hard kicks from Tajiri have the champs in trouble and the Gore gets two with Conway putting the foot on the rope. The referee isn’t happy, allowing a flag shot to Rhyno to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. Again, the match goes longer than it needs to and loses a lot of the crowd (what little they had of it) in the process. This could have been on any given Raw, though it would have been bad on there too. The build was fine enough, but it’s not like this was ever going to be anything more than a match filling time on a card. It’s a thing that happens on every show, but when it feels like most of the matches on the show are just filling time, it become a major problem.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton, which is all about Orton winning the title that was supposed to belong to HHH. In other words, it’s been a month of “THIS IS MY COMPANY BECAUSE I’M HHH” and a failed attempt to turn Orton into the top face by just having him go against HHH. The problem is that Orton has spent most of his time running from Evolution in a smart but not inspiring move. There isn’t much of a reason to cheer Orton, which is a different situation than booing HHH. The second part is easily accomplished, but it turns into more of no one getting cheered, which isn’t a good place to be.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is challenging. Feeling out process to start with Orton calmly taking him into the corner and slapping him in the face. Lawler says HHH isn’t happy because he made Orton. JR: “Easy there Dr. Evil. I think Mr. and Mrs. Orton had something to do with it.” Point to JR on that one. Orton shakes HHH off and slaps him in the face again, followed by the spitting sequel. There’s a backdrop to make it even worse for HHH and we’re already in the chinlock.

Back up and HHH gets sent outside with Orton following, though JR isn’t sure about the plan. They head back inside in a hurry with HHH nailing a chop block. So much for JR’s analytical skills. An attempt at a crotching around the post sees HHH get pulled face first into the post but it doesn’t stop him from going after the leg. Another chop block keeps Orton down and a knee to the knee in the corner makes it even worse. A leglock goes on for a bit, followed by a facebuster to slow things down a bit more.

Some elbows to the leg set up the Figure Four, which makes a lot of sense in this case. HHH grabs a rope because he knows how to be a villain, though the crowd doesn’t seem to agree with the style here. The referee catches him grabbing the rope though and that means a break, followed by a thorough verbal castration. Orton shoves him into the corner with HHH’s head hitting the post to bust him open. Right hands in the corner stay on the head and Orton’s always good dropkick gets two.

A DDT drops HHH for two more but the sleeper is countered with a belly to back. HHH goes up for the most obvious dive into a raised boot I can remember in a long time to give Orton a breather. The high crossbody gets two and Orton throws him outside. Back in and the RKO is countered into a ref bump as I begin to sigh. Now the RKO connects for no cover as Flair runs in to get punched down. Batista gets in a few shots but misses a charge into the post.

HHH cuts Orton down with a low blow and here’s Coach in a referee shirt for the near fall. The lack of a pop on the kickout is as telling of a sign as you’re going to get. Orton punches Coach down and Batista is right back in with a spinebuster with Coach counting two (better reaction this time, but still not great). Orton backdrops out of a Pedigree and RKO’s Coach (all in one movement for a cool sequence). Flair takes one as well and it’s a low blow to break up the Batista Bomb. HHH is back up though and cracks Orton in the head with a chair. The slow motion Pedigree onto the chair makes HHH champion. Again.

Rating: C+. Well of course he did. It was clear that Orton wasn’t working as a champion (for various reasons) but the fans aren’t going to get behind him as the uncrowned champion after he loses the title to another soul crushing HHH win. It feels like another case of HHH showing everyone who runs Raw because he, yes he, is the only person who can fix all of Raw’s problems despite being a big source of their problems.

The match itself was actually pretty good, albeit slow and with a bad ending. As has been the case with almost everything on the show tonight, it felt like the match was being stretched out for the sake of filling in the show, which isn’t a great feeling about the main event. The crowd didn’t care and that was the case with so much of Orton’s time as champion. If they don’t care about him being champion, they’re not going to care about him losing the title.

JR is disgusted to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Just a completely lifeless show here which never got off the ground, despite some matches being pretty good. The problem here was how little there was to care about, which has been a problem for a long time. It’s felt like a matter of time before HHH got the title back since the second Orton won it and now that’s where we are: right back where we were, waiting on the next big name to challenge him. I’m sure Orton will get a few more chances but it’s not like it’s going to matter for the time being. Orton didn’t work as champion, and now we’re right back where we were before Wrestlemania. Lucky us.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 9, 2004
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming off last week’s huge pay per view style main event when Kurt Angle won the third match in the series against Eddie Guerrero, which will end their rivalry completely forever. The next pay per view will likely start its build tonight, which should make for some more important shows. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Theodore Long says last week didn’t answer anything because Luther Reigns got involved. Therefore tonight we’ll be seeing Angle vs. Eddie one more time in a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title, Haas is the Oklahoma boy, and Orlando Jordan and Jackie Gayda are at ringside. Charlie takes him down with a drop toehold into a headlock and it’s time to work on the leg. JBL grabs a rope and since his leg wasn’t pulled that much, it’s a big boot to drop Haas in a hurry. Some forearms cut Haas down again but the Clothesline From JBL is cut off with a dropkick. A spinning ax handle gets two and you can feel the air going out of the arena on the kickout. Haas hits a t-bone but Orlando Jordan goes after Jackie, distracting Haas enough for the Clothesline to connect for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s all it needed to be as Haas isn’t on JBL’s level and losing to him isn’t going to hurt him. Haas’ comeback had some energy to it and he has just enough credibility to make something like this work. Not a terrible match here either and acceptable for a quick opener.

Post match JBL, after being reminded where we are, gives us a stock tip: invest in him, because the country is a better place with him as champion. Crime is down, the economy is up, and the USA’s Olympic teams have been very successful. That brings him back to Eddie, but first we need to get one of those JBL chants going. He’s beaten everyone put in front of him to retain the title (all two of them), with the Undertaker being his greatest accomplishment.

Since Undertaker failed, there will be no more title shots. What he’ll do though is give Undertaker a funeral in two weeks. A hearse comes out and JBL says Rest In Peace….but here’s Long to interrupt. He doesn’t like what JBL has said, so we’ll deal with that at No Mercy in a Last Ride (casket but with a hearse) Match. JBL’s panicked response is funny.

Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Billy Kidman vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Suzuki and Dupree are challenging and London has a banged up shoulder after Heidenreich’s attack last week. Hiroko is out with the challengers and you can almost guarantee the interference from here. London slides between Dupree’s legs to start and snaps off a hurricanrana to take over. It’s off to Kidman, who walks into an assisted hot shot to put the champs in trouble. Kenzo comes in and gets to show off with an armbar but Kidman fights up and dives over for the tag….which the referee doesn’t see.

The champs come in instead and start cleaning house with an enziguri dropping Kenzo. Kidman still can’t do the shooting star though, instead dropping down and tagging London. That seems to be enough for Kidman, as he walks out on the match. Back from a break with Dupree working on the bad arm (the right one for an odd visual) as the fans chant USA. London manages to kick Suzuki to the floor, where he low bridges him outside as well (in a heck of a bump). The bad arm is sent into the post, setting up a Michinoku Driver from Dupree. Kenzo’s claw legsweep gives us new champions.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match but it gives us Dupree and Suzuki as champions. Kidman and London were running uphill the entire time they held the titles and this didn’t exactly help things. There’s barely a division at this point and two midcard heels have been thrown together to win the titles from a thrown together cruiserweight team. Not a very good match, but it wasn’t exactly supposed to be.

Big Show is coming back.

London is having his shoulder checked but goes over to Kidman, who doesn’t seem to care about the title loss. Kidman stares at him but has nothing to say before leaving.

Booker T. is leaving but runs into Long, saying he has to go train for his match with John Cena next week. Actually not so fast because he’ll be a lumberjack tonight.

Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title with Bubba and D-Von in Spike’s corner. Spike jumps him from behind to start but Rey fires off some right hands and forearms. Rey’s spinning springboard crossbody connects (with Spike having to run over to get into position) and it’s 619 time but the Dudleys come in. Before it gets bad, Hardcore Holly runs in for the save, only to get beaten down as well. Rob Van Dam runs in as well and the good guys clean house as the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Spike Dudley/Dudley Boyz vs. Rey Mysterio/Hardcore Holly/Rob Van Dam

There’s no opening bell as Van Dam kicks D-Von in the face for an early two. The middle rope kick to the face is good for the same but D-Von gets in a neckbreaker to take over. Bubba adds one of his own, setting up Spike’s top rope double stomp. The rib work continues with the reverse chinlock from D-Von, followed by a jumping back elbow for two.

Spike gets kicked in the chest though and the hot tag brings in Holly, because when you think high energy, you think Sparky Plugg. Everything breaks down and Rey (that’s more like it) comes in with a springboard seated senton for two. Rob kicks Bubba and D-Von down, setting up the Five Star on Bubba. There’s no cover though, leaving Holly to hit the Alabama Slam on Spike. Rey Drops the Dime for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here, likely setting up Spike’s title defense against Mysterio at No Mercy. It’s not the worst idea in the world, though Holly being there felt rather out of place. I know Gunn is gone, but did they really not have anything better for Holly to do? Not terrible, but just a means to an end and that’s acceptable.

Kurt Angle says there is no controversy because he won last week. Josh Matthews would know that if he kept his record book on him!

Here’s John Cena for a chat, likely in rhyme. Cena talks about his back being against the wall, but it’s because Booker has been cheating. We get a Stevie Ray reference to set up the usual barrage of gay jokes. They can be amusing, but they feel cringe worthy at this point.

The Tough Enough deadline has been extended. That’s awesome.

We recap last week’s 2/3 falls match.

Carlito is still coming and kicks over a kid’s sandcastle on the way.

Paul Heyman tells Long that Heidenreich isn’t here tonight because he’s been given the night off. That’s fine with Long, as Heyman can wrestle a match instead. It can be against a ring announcer, sending Heyman into a panic at the idea of fighting Tazz. Long says it’s not Tazz, so Heyman goes into a rant about Cole. This actually prompts Cole to say he can take Heyman out just like that. Heyman comes to the arena….and it’s a swerve.

Funaki vs. Paul Heyman

Well it’s a better idea….and it doesn’t happen as Heidenreich comes in and wrecks Funaki before the bell ever rings. Heyman covers and counts his own pin.

Heidenreich chases Cole off and I’m scared of where this is going.

Smackdown Throwback: Vince, Rikishi and a thong.

Raw Rundown.

Cole is terrified but agrees to come back to the desk.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Lumberjack match, with the usual suspects around the ring. They all get their own introductions to fill in a good chunk of the time we have left. Feeling out process to start with Eddie hitting an early dropkick, followed by a clothesline to send Angle outside. It’s on the villain side though and Angle is sent back inside without any issue. A backdrop puts Eddie in trouble and some right hands keep him that way.

Eddie is right back with right hands of his own, followed by another dropkick to put Angle on the good side. That means a failed escape attempt as they really haven’t gotten out of first gear so far. Just to mix things up a bit, Angle sends Eddie outside onto the heel side but since the referee is watching, nothing happens. Eddie comes up swinging anyway and gets back inside as we take a break.

Back with Angle getting two off a backbreaker and slapping on the abdominal stretch. The reverse chinlock goes on for a bit until Eddie suplexes his way to freedom. This time Eddie gets sent outside on the good side, where they’re nice enough to throw him inside for another suplex. Eddie dances back up though and the Three Amigos connect.

The referee checks on Angle for no logical reason, allowing Luther Reigns to crotch Eddie on top. That means a heck of a top rope superplex for a delayed two but Eddie slips out of the Angle Slam and grabs the ankle lock. The lumberjacks finally erupt….and here’s the Big Show to go after everyone as I’m assuming the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. It’s hard to argue against Angle vs. Eddie but there’s only so much you can do when a majority of the match is spent on having both guys thrown outside for the usual lumberjack shenanigans. Big Show returning here is acceptable as a way to get out of the ending, but they already had a screwy finish last week. Show being back is important, though I’m not exactly thrilled at the idea of another Show push.

House is cleaned inside and outside as no one can do a thing to Show. Chokeslams crush Eddie and Angle, followed by one more to Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. While nothing was all that great on here, it was a good showcase of everything Smackdown had going on with a bunch of different stories getting some TV time. You can see a lot of No Mercy from here and that’s good with less than a month to go. The show was a really easy hour and a half to watch and I’ll gladly take that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 6, 2004
Location: Kay Yeager Coliseum, Wichita Falls, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Somehow this is the go home show for Unforgiven, which I didn’t realize somehow. That means it’s time to get ready for Randy Orton’s first Raw World Title defense against HHH, which I’m sure will be completely encouraging. Other than that…well there isn’t much because there’s not much else to talk about other than that one match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of HHH vs. Randy Orton. Like anything else matters.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage around the ring and Eric Bischoff is inside with a table in front of him. Tonight it’s HHH vs. Eugene inside the cage and Bischoff is looking forward to his nephew being destroyed for good. The cage is raised as we move onto something else: Edge has a torn groin which is keeping him out of action for four to six weeks, meaning the Intercontinental Title is vacant.

Bischoff pulls a blanket off the table to reveal the title but here’s Christian to interrupt. He thinks he’d be a great choice for a new Intercontinental Champion but here’s Jericho to interrupt (must be a Canadian thing). Jericho is ready to fight for the title right now. Bischoff says they’ll do that at Unforgiven instead, which is fine with Jericho. He wants something added though, and the fans should be allowed to have a say.

Bischoff offers a cage match but Christian says that doesn’t work for him because Jericho already injured him in a cage match. Christian’s offer is a no countout match and the fans aren’t thrilled. Christian: “THEY’RE SAYING BOO-YAH!” Jericho gets to the obvious solution: a ladder match, with Bischoff agreeing. The fight is on with Tyson Tomko running in to save Christian from the Walls. Longer than it needed to be, but this is the best choice for a match they could have had.

Batista/Ric Flair/La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/William Regal/Tajiri/Rhyno

Benoit and Flair get things going, which is about as good of an idea as you can get. The chop off in the corner (you knew that was coming) goes to Benoit, who backdrops Flair for the Flair Flop. Tajiri comes in and kicks Conway but everything breaks down in a hurry. Back from an early break with Flair chopping at Regal in the corner (a trend for him) but Regal reverses and hits a backdrop (the exact same sequence that Benoit did). Rhyno comes in for a running shoulder to Flair in the corner before knocking La Resistance off the apron.

Batista gets in a cheap shot from behind though and Conway takes over. Conway gets two and demands that Rhyno stay down, even throwing in some swearing for an evil bonus. It’s back to Flair and a double clothesline puts both of them down. Conway gets the tag and Benoit gets one as well, even if he had one leg in the ring at the time. What a Canadian cheater. Said cheater throws German suplexes all over the place, allowing Rhyno to come back in fr the Gore to Batista. With everyone else outside, Benoit drops the Swan Dive on Conway, setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match with a nice combination of two feuds into one match. Tajiri continues to be barely functioning and I hope he gets ready on Sunday as the title match has been well built over the last few weeks. It’s always nice to see these feuds getting mixed together as you get some fresh matchups, which is a good way to keep things from getting stale.

We recap the Diva Search segment from last week. I didn’t know we could still discuss that.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton is ready for HHH and this Sunday, he knows he’s going to be coming in as the underdog after facing Kane tonight. We get a HHH caveman impression and Orton recaps their feud so far, including a clip of Orton costing HHH a win over Eugene last week. Now, the three most dominant letters on Raw are now RKO. Orton stumbled through a lot of this promo.

Trish Stratus comes up to see Lita and won’t let her go by. We get the jokes about Lita being, ahem, easy I guess you would say until Lita promises to come after Trish once she’s had the baby. More jokes ensue so Lita says keep it coming. Lita leaves and Trish doesn’t seem impressed. She turns around and runs into Nidia, who yells in Spanish. Trish: “I’m sorry I don’t speak German.” Nidia throws a drink on her instead.

Trish Stratus vs. Nidia

Non-title with Trish still covered in juice. Trish takes her down with an early pull of the hair but Nidia slugs away in the corner as Trish’s shirt is tearing more and more. A quick trip to the floor goes to Trish but Nidia is right back with an elbow to the face. Nidia hammers away in the corner….until her top breaks, allowing Trish to kick her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Nidia can’t be much longer for the company at this point but she seemed to be getting better here. She could do some stuff in the ring well enough and is already better than some of the women in the company. With more time, she could have turned into a perfectly competent wrestler. The match was short and not terrible, so that’s quite the step up.

Bischoff is happy that HHH is going to destroy Eugene tonight and has set up a party for later. HHH wants nothing to do with the party because the real celebration will come Sunday after he wins the title back.

HHH vs. Eugene

Inside a cage and HHH has banged up ribs. HHH jumps him behind to start and sends Eugene into the cage. The scared Eugene makes his comeback with the usual right hands and ax handles but HHH cuts off an escape attempt. Eugene’s head is bounced off the cage a few times and we have some blood. HHH’s sleeper is reversed with a ram into the cage and they’re both down.

Eugene goes for the door but HHH makes a save and sends him into the cage over and over as the violence is really cranking up. The Pedigree connects for no cover as HHH goes up instead and drives a knee into Eugene’s arm for what seems like a break. HHH finally walks out for the win.

Rating: D-. HHH did his job last week (all it took was the World Champion interfering) so this was his time to shine again. He got to beat up and injure what used to be a fan favorite (before HHH took away all of Eugene’s momentum) and make it look like some big deal. It was a really boring match too as Eugene’s hope spots weren’t believable and it didn’t feel big even once.

Post match HHH slams the door on Eugene’s arm. I’m not wild on how we got here, but Eugene going away for a month or two is the best thing that could happen to him right now.

Coach is rather pleased with Bischoff getting his way and talks to Edge about being stripped of the title. Edge would rather lose while fighting injured than have it taken away from him. He’s coming back and dealing with Bischoff. So are we already dropping the heel turn?

Kane makes Lita watch a clip of him injuring Shawn Michaels. At least they’re acknowledging that, as it makes the match feel a lot less random. Kane promises to do the same thing to Orton tonight. HHH won’t like that. It’s his job to conquer these young kids.

Unforgiven rundown.

Tyson Tomko vs. Chris Jericho

Christian is out with Tomko but Jericho chases him to the back early on. Tomko uses the distraction to kick Jericho down and we hit a very early chinlock (that really shouldn’t be necessary so soon). Back up and Tomko misses a charge into the post so Jericho takes him down by the knee. Christian comes back with a ladder, allowing Tomko to nail Jericho in the head for two. Another distraction lets Tomko grab a reverse F5 for the pin, which was totally necessary before Sunday’s title match.

Post match Christian hits him with the ladder a few times and poses on top, just like everyone does.

It’s Diva Search time with Stacy Keibler hosting and a covered table in the ring. Before we get to the elimination, it’s time for some arm wrestling. Christy beats Amy, Carmella beats Joy, Christy beats Carmella. As a reward, Christy gets to throw a bucket of chili on all of them. See it’s funny because they’re good looking and in evening gowns but get covered in chili. Amy is eliminated.

Eugene has a separated shoulder and his career may be over.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Non-title and Kane drags Lita to the ring with him. Orton sends him into the corner to start before heading outside for a chase. That’s enough to catch Kane with a dropkick and some forearms to the chest in the corner (like the ten right hands, but with Kane facing the buckles for a change). Kane kicks him in the face and goes to grab a chair but Lita grabs it as well. That’s enough of a distraction so Orton can get in a low blow for the DQ.

Post match HHH comes out and wants the cage lowered, so here’s Bischoff to say this is continuing as a cage match. We take a break and come back with Kane sending Kane into the cage and pounding away with right hands. A powerslam cuts off Orton’s comeback for two, followed by a hard clothesline for the same. Orton hammers away again so Kane grabs a side slam to stop him again. A top rope crotching sets up the backbreaker to put Kane in trouble for a change and Orton cracks him in the head with the chair. The RKO connects and Orton, after kicking the cage door into HHH’s face, walks out for the win.

Rating: D+. So there’s the second cage match of the night and it wasn’t exactly thrilling. At least Orton won here instead of getting beaten down so HHH could stand over him again. The fans aren’t really cheering for him though and that’s a bad sign as his title reign is just getting started.

Post match Evolution jumps Orton, who fights them off with a chair. Kane gets back up though and Orton bails to end the show. That’s a big reason why Orton isn’t getting cheered. Since winning the title, here’s what he’s done on Raw: beaten down, spit in HHH’s face and ran, helps Eugene win, beats Kane and runs away again. He’s not getting destroyed every week, but for the most part he’s either getting beaten down or running away. The face turn was out of nowhere in the first place and having him run away (logical, but not the most inspiring) so much isn’t helping things.

Overall Rating: D+. The show went by fast and that’s rather impressive given how Unforgiven is a completely one match show. Tonight was almost all about HHH vs. Orton, which doesn’t bode well for Sunday. Adding the ladder match was fine as they had to deal with an injury and that’s all they could do given the circumstances. Other than that though, I’m really struggling to come up with something I’d want to see at Unforgiven. I’m worried about Sunday’s show, but this one wasn’t exactly much to see in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 2, 2004
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This feels like the big non-PPV month edition of the show with a huge main event in the form of Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a 2/3 falls match, which should blow off their feud once and for all. Other than that we have more between JBL and Undertaker, which is likely going to give us a title rematch at whatever the next pay per view is going to be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video focuses on Angle vs. Guerrero, as it certainly should. It really has been a great rivalry.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Booker T. for a chat. Booker is sick of everyone going around chanting CENA no matter where he is. Last week he tied to score in the series and we get a clip of the second match. That wasn’t it though, as Booker won the third match over the weekend, only needing a pull of the jean shorts to take the lead. Booker rhymes a bit but here’s Rey Mysterio to cut him off, giving us a great bugged out eye look.

Rey thinks Booker must be sick of the John Cena chants and might prefer the 619 version. A fight is teased but here’s Kenzo Suzuki to interrupt. Kenzo says 619 is an American area code and since Rey isn’t from America, he is a liar, liar, pants on fire. That’s not cool with Suzuki, who is a real American with a smile like Tom Cruise. Rob Van Dam comes in and jumps Suzuki, only to have Rene Dupree jump him to keep things even. Theodore Long comes out to make a six man tag for right now.

Booker T./Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam/John Cena

Booker is in street clothes. We’re joined in progress with Cena planting Suzuki but a Booker distraction breaks up the Shuffle. It’s enough to allow Booker to come in and hammer away before handing it off to Dupree. That’s fine with Cena who ax handles him down and brings in the fresh Van Dam. Dupree gets kicked down and it’s time for an early standoff.

Booker comes back in for some more success but, possibly not being so comfortable wrestling in business casual, hands it back to Dupree for a chinlock. The hold lasts as long as you would expect as it’s off to Rey for the springboard spinning crossbody. Rey breaks up the French Tickler and Van Dam comes back in as everything breaks down. A 619 into Dropping the Dime finishes Dupree.

Rating: C-. Kind of a bland match but it was a better idea than the same singles matches that we’re going to see time after time. The problem here though is the villains, as neither Dupree or Suzuki are even remotely intimidating or imposing. Neither is a threat to Mysterio or Van Dam, meaning these matches aren’t the most enthralling.

We see the ending of Angle vs. Guerrero at Wrestlemania.

Long comes up to Paul Heyman in the back and wants to see Heidenreich. That’s not possible as Heidenreich is behind a locked door due to public safety. Long can dig that, but Heyman is personally responsible for Heidenreich’s actions. After attacking Josh Matthews last week, Heidenreich is being fined $5000, which is Heyman’s responsibility. Oh and no checks, as Heyman isn’t the most reliable when it comes to money. Heyman: “Holla holla holla to you too Mr. Long.”

We look back at Billy Kidman hitting the shooting star press on Chavo Guerrero last week with his knee hitting Chavo’s head. In unseen footage from last week, we see Chavo being tended to by medics. He was unconscious for five minutes and very hazy for twenty more.

Jamie Noble comes up to Kidman in the back, saying Kidman should be gone after what happened last week. Kidman thinks Jamie sounds afraid and doesn’t exactly seem apologetic.

Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming and you better be cool.

Billy Kidman/Paul London vs. FBI

Non-title and it’s Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli for the Italians. During their entrances, the FBI talks about how they’re a bit weary of the shooting star as well. Nunzio’s advice: don’t play dead or you’ll be dead. London wastes no time in kicking Nunzio out to the floor but everything breaks down in a hurry. We settle down to Johnny backdropping London with ease as Tazz explains why Johnny is called the Bull. Something about him being strong.

The comeback doesn’t take long and the hot tag brings in Kidman, who is suddenly dangerous. A headscissors takes Nunzio down and a neckbreaker gets zero as Johnny makes one of the fastest saves of all time. Johnny gets knocked outside with London hitting a flip dive to the floor, leaving Kidman to dropkick Nunzio down. Kidman goes up…but has a crisis of confidence and can’t launch. Instead he climbs down and tags London back in, allowing Nunzio to grab a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D+. I can certainly appreciate turning something that happened organically into a storyline, but this is the second time the champs have lost a non-title match to a very low level team. The division is hardly deep in the first place and having your champions, who work well together, lose to teams like this is a bad idea, especially so frequently.

Post match Kidman isn’t sure what to do but here’s Heidenreich to beat up both champs. Just in case they had something left in the tank. The beatdown goes on for a long time with Heyman having to come in and calm things down.

Long sends a referee to get Heidenreich because the fines are increasing. Torrie Wilson comes in to say she’s nervous about Big Show coming back. Does anyone remember that story? Long says this is a different Big Show, because he’s attended anger management. As you might guess, Torrie isn’t convinced.

Orlando Jordan vs. Charlie Haas

JBL, now without the halo, because you heal faster after having one of those ripped off before you get beaten up, is out for commentary. Haas takes him down without much effort but the referee rather annoyingly walks between them, allowing Jordan to spear him down. Jordan unhooks a turnbuckle pad before going with a kick to Haas’ ribs. Haas ducks a high crossbody and gets caught in a high collar suplex for two. Jordan gets desperate and goes for the turnbuckle, sending Haas into the exposed steal. A neckbreaker (kind of a reverse Twist of Fate) finishes Haas.

Rating: D. You have to establish Jordan as the lackey but that wasn’t exactly the most thrilling way to do it. Then again, nothing about Jordan has ever been described as thrilling and that was on full display here. At some point, the lack of talent is going to catch up with you and that’s the case with Jordan. He’s just not very good and there’s no way around it.

Post match Jordan distracts the referee so JBL can hit the Clothesline.

Ivory, Linda McMahon and Big Show are at the Republican National Convention. Show could not look less interested if he tried in the most entertaining part of the night.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardcore Holly/Billy Gunn

Spike is here with Bubba and D-Von and slaps Holly before the bell. It doesn’t seem to matter as Gunn shoulders D-Von down to take over early on. Bubba offers a trip though and D-Von nails a quick clothesline. Some elbow drops get two but Gunn gets in an elbow of his own, allowing the hot tag to Holly.

The crowd reaction is about what you would expect but Holly plows ahead anyway. Everything breaks down and Spike pulls D-Von out of the way of a charge. Bubba charges into an elbow in the corner and gets caught with a top rope bulldog, only to have Spike come in with a title shot to the head, giving Bubba the easy pin.

Rating: D. And that’s Gunn’s last match in WWE for over eight years. I know he got a very nice midcard push at one point, but how far can you go with a name and theme song of Mr. A**? The answer would be a lot higher than expected, but there’s only so much you can do with what he had. He certainly had a great career, especially in tag team wrestling, and the Hall of Fame induction is coming one day. I was never much of a fan though and watching him back after the Attitude Era hasn’t been a lot of fun. Gunn did well for himself, but he must have a headache from hitting that ceiling so hard.

Clip of the end of Guerrero vs. Angle from Summerslam.

Carlito is still coming. Nothing has changed in the last thirty five minutes. At least it’s a different vignette, but it doesn’t hide the fact that he’s a weaker version of Razor Ramon.

Raw Rebound.

Smackdown Throwback: Big Show and Brock Lesnar break the ring. I know it’s been done again since but that’s still an incredible sight.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

2/3 falls. They go with the amateur grappling to start with Angle naturally getting the better of things. Eddie spins out of a front facelock and we get the first of what will likely be multiple standoffs. Angle goes with an armbar so Eddie picks the ankle for the break. The technical stuff continues with Angle grabbing a headlock, plus a handful of hair for a bonus. Back up and Eddie grabs a headlock but this time grabs the singlet to match the cheating move for move.

Angle isn’t happy so Eddie grabs it again to start setting in the frustration. He is however smart enough to take the singlet down, causing Cole to dub this a chess match. Tazz: “You take your clothes off when you play chess?” Angle gets his singlet pulled down and it’s time to take a breather as Eddie lays across the top rope. Back in and Eddie dances a bit before grabbing a waistlock, only to have Angle get in a clandestine low blow to take over. Eddie kicks him low right back, earning himself a DQ for the first fall.

We take a break and come back with Angle getting two off a suplex. Angle slaps on the waistlock until Eddie suplexes his way to freedom. You don’t suplex with Angle though as a belly to belly takes Eddie right back down for two. The chinlock goes on (with Angle ripping at the face like a villain should) for a bit before Angle rolls the German suplexes. The Angle Slam is loaded up but Eddie reverses into a rollup to tie things up in a hurry.

We take another break and come back with Eddie caught in another waistlock. Eddie snaps up and hits a hurricanrana but can’t follow up. Angle’s right hand just fires Eddie up and the comeback is on. The first Amigo is countered into a German suplex but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT. Eddie goes up for the frog splash and of course it’s Angle running the corner for the belly to belly superplex.

Yet another German suplex is countered into a roll into the buckle, allowing Eddie to hit Three Amigos this time around. Cue Luther Reigns to distract Eddie from the frog splash though, allowing Angle to roll out of the way. Another Angle Slam sets up the ankle lock (first time in the match), which Eddie rolls through into a ref bump. Instead of doing the smart thing though, Eddie dives onto Reigns and grabs a chair.

Some weak shots abound, setting up Eddie laying down and throwing the chair to Angle. Naturally the referee sees it and yells as Eddie lays on his side and waves before dropping back down. That’s such an easy joke but Eddie makes it work. The referee keeps yelling so Reigns chairs Eddie in the knee, setting up the ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. It’s good and something close to a greatest hits collection, but it really didn’t hit the top gear that you might have expected. The match wasn’t quite a classic but what we got was very good. It looked rather crisp and it was so nice to have Angle hold out on the ankle lock until the end. Thirty minutes at this level is nothing to sneeze at and Eddie even has a door open for one more match if necessary. It’s a fitting end to the feud as they called back to previous matches and had a good match of their own right here.

Post match Reigns lays Eddie out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event is certainly good, but the rest of the show was a great example of how boring things can be around here right now. The tag division in particular looked awful and there isn’t much aside from Eddie vs. Angle and Booker vs. Cena, which isn’t enough to carry the show week to week. It’s enough this week, but I don’t think they can count on thirty minutes from Angle and Eddie every single time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things picked up last week as Randy Orton got a little revenge on HHH but the bigger story saw Kane marrying Lita and destroying Matt Hardy in the process. There’s a good chance that we’re going to see some entertaining followup to that this week, which could go several different ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

This one gets a TV-MA rating, making me wonder what’s coming from the Diva Search girls.

In Memory of Marcin Markulski, a graphics designer who passed away recently.

We open with a recap of Orton and HHH from last week. That moment is certainly better for Orton’s push than getting beaten down by Evolution.

Here’s Evolution to get things going. HHH clarifies that they are Evolution and the unit exists because he made it so. Oh yeah it’s one of these promos. He explains saving Ric Flair from mediocrity and let him be the Nature Boy again. Batista has raw power and ability but HHH gave him direction and focus. Then there’s Randy Orton, who was going to be HHH’s pet project. Orton was jerking the curtain at junior high schools but HHH saw what no one saw.

Last week Orton spat in his face, which no one has ever done before or again. Orton needs to come out here right now and face the consequences like a man. Orton’s music hits but instead of the champ, we get three guys carrying what look like pictures under covers. Orton comes out and says HHH can’t call him Randy Orton, because he should be called champ. HHH got something out of Evolution, which means the unveiling of the first picture: the four of them with HHH front and center.

Flair is ready to charge the stage but HHH cuts it off with a rant about how Evolution was always about him. That brings us to the second picture, which is Orton pinning Benoit all by himself at Summerslam. Orton talks about learning so much from HHH, who actually thought he would just hand over the title last week.

That brings us to the third picture, which is Orton spitting in his face last week. Orton wants to fight tonight and takes off his shirt, but he’s bringing a friend of his own to the ring. That would be a sledgehammer from behind one of the pictures so Evolution bails in a hurry. The big swing hits the steps instead of HHH as Evolution runs into the crowd.

This was another not bad segment, but Orton chasing the title and beating HHH would seem better (though getting there would be a bit tricky as it would involve HHH getting the title again). Also, Orton doesn’t exactly come off as a violent, aggressive guy and it feels like a hard turn for him. The idea of pushing him as the next big thing is fine, but they’re going about it in a really questionable way.

Post break, Bischoff throws Orton out of the building. Orton does so, but only after dropping a sledgehammer onto Bischoff’s foot.

We look back at Rock, Tajiri and Rhyno beating up La Resistance and Coach last week. Thankfully the Diva Search stuff was left out.

Tajiri/Rhyno vs. La Resistance/Jonathan Coachman

The villains jump them in the aisle and we get things going in a hurry with Rhyno in trouble. Rhyno fight back but can’t get away from the evil French guys. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Coach adds a slap from the apron. With that out of the way, it’s right back to the chinlock as Tajiri is still down from the pre-match beatdown. Sounds like an injury. Rhyno fights back with a bunch of clotheslines and then a Gore to Coach, only to get caught with Au Revoir for the fast pin.

Rating: D-. So we have a handicap match where Tajiri wasn’t really doing anything in the match (which likely wasn’t his fault)? That’s not exactly the best choice for the opening match on a show, but at least there’s a story here and they’re advancing things as we move towards the title match at Unforgiven.

Video on last week’s wedding.

Kane tells someone (not Lita) to not come out until he tells them to because it’s a surprise.

Eugene, in San Francisco Giants gear, tells William Regal about being excited to go to a Giants game yesterday. Regal wants him to stay in the back for Regal’s match with Batista but gets various baseball terms in response.

William Regal vs. Batista

Regal tries the left hands to start but gets run over as fast as you would expect. A half nelson doesn’t get Batista very far and it’s Regal coming back with the left hands. The running knee to the head staggers Batista, who comes right back with a spinebuster. Batista loads up a chair, allowing Flair to come down and get in a brass knuckles shot. The big clothesline (he really needs a better finisher) ends Regal in a hurry. Just a step above a squash, though Regal had the fire, as always.

Shawn Michaels, Ivory and Linda McMahon are at the Republican National Convention.

Here’s Stacy Keibler to host the Diva Search segment. Do you really have to make her help pick her replacement? The girls come out in their swimsuits and Maria gets eliminated, flipping Carmella off on the way out. You know, that might mean more if we had heard anything else about these women other than “Carmella doesn’t care about wrestling”. You know, like giving them personalities.

As for tonight, everyone has thirty seconds to diss all of their fellow contestants.

Joy goes first and grabs Amy’s chest (Joy: “Not firm enough for me.”), spanks Christy and says Carmella talks a lot of s*** but has a gap in her teeth wide enough to drive a truck through.

Amy says Joy needs to “learn how to eat a pie” and Christy needs to sit down. Carmella on the other hand is a w**** who knows s*** about wrestling because having a d*** in your mouth has nothing to do with wrestling. Stacy takes the mic from her with eight seconds left.

Carmella laughs at Amy for not getting into Playboy. Joy is a bad role model with a fat a** and if Carmella doesn’t win, she hopes Christy does.

Christy says she’s hot fire and will burn you. All Joy can do is shake her chest, Amy has lips like a fish and Carmella is a “c** burping gutter s***”. The censors don’t quite cut the audio in time and you can hear Lawler cracking up. Christy does the splits to wrap it up. Stacy: “I like your flexibility.”

So that’s that, and I think there’s a reason you NEVER hear about this thing again.

Kane tells Lita that she’ll love his surprise. They walk past Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko, the former of whom says Kane is taking out the trash. Kane gets in Tomko’s face and says that was a good one.

Here are Kane and Lita, the latter of whom is being dragged to the ring. Kane says Lita is her favorite and thanks everyone for their gifts, including an open contract at Unforgiven from Eric Bischoff. Lita gave him the greatest gift of all though: a womb for his child. Since Lita is missing Matt Hardy, Kane has a surprise. Matt’s family has been flown in: four guys, mostly short (one fat) in Matt shirts as the crowd dies again. Kane introduces them as Pat, Nat, Rat and Fat. Yes they thought recreating the Royal Family was a good idea. Kane wastes little time in beating all of them up….and let’s make it a match.

Kane vs. Hardy Boyz

A chokeslam finishes Rat in about ten seconds.

Post match (erg) Kane loads up the fire but Lita stops him because she has a surprise of his own. She’s already signed the open contract for him so he’ll be facing someone she’s chosen at Summerslam: the returning Shawn Michaels. Oh yeah Kane helped injure him. Nice touch and I’m surprised they remembered it.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Flair has to undergo a weapons check. That’s really not fair….though the referee does find some knuckles in his knee pad. Benoit starts chopping away and gets in the required backdrop. It’s a little early for the Crossface so they head outside with Benoit chopping up against the barricade. Back in and we get a Flair Flop but he’s smart enough to get in a shot to the knee to take over.

Flair goes with chops and right hands instead of staying on the show, which doesn’t seem to be the smartest move for him. Maybe the lack of knuckles is messing with his head. We hit the half crab to go back to the knee but Benoit is right back up with more chops. The Swan Dive misses so Benoit goes with the rolling German suplex instead. Benoit grabs the Sharpshooter and here’s Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Flair didn’t exactly seem thrilled to be out there and the ending does set something up, even if it’s something we’ve seen in various forms over the last several months. Benoit is still a very valuable person to have in this spot because he’s going to have a good match with almost anyone. The match wasn’t much here though, as it was more of a means to get to the ending than anything else.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with Chris Jericho saying that he wants to face Edge for the Intercontinental Title at Unforgiven. This brings out Edge, on crutches. Edge is injured and can’t face Jericho at Unforgiven. It doesn’t matter though as he already beat him at Summerslam. Jericho brings up Edge getting booed out of the building, but Edge says he’ll let these puppets boo him every time because he’ll just keep winning the matches.

As for tonight, Jericho doesn’t buy that Edge is really hurt, thinking that it’s going to be a Canadian jig and then Edge swinging a crutch to the head. Edge says he has the MRI to prove that he’s really hurt and when he gets back, Jericho is up first. That’s it for Edge, but here’s the returning Christian to jump Jericho from behind. The beatdown goes on for a while and includes a chair to the face as Edge isn’t sure what to think.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Victoria/Nidia

Trish gets in a cheap shot to a not paying attention Victoria before taking over on Nidia. As Lawler makes jokes about Nidia nearly falling out of her top, Gail puts on something like a Brock Lock with a headscissors at the same time. That’s certainly different and painful looking. Nidia fights up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Victoria to take over. A headbutt knocks Trish off the apron but the Widow’s Peak is reversed into an Edgecator. Cue the mystery “woman”, who falls down the ramp. As we’re looking there, Victoria gets a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much time here and I had to think about who was getting the next title shot at Unforgiven because the match has been given that little focus. The division really needs a fresh name or two at this point because they can only do the same matches and feuds so many times. The problem is they passed that point a long time ago.

Smackdown Rebound.

Bischoff is getting his foot iced down and makes Orton vs. Kane for next week.

Unforgiven rundown, including Regal/Benoit vs. Flair/Batista.

HHH vs. Eugene

No DQ. HHH continues a trend tonight of jump starting the match but gets headlocked down. A backslide gives Eugene two as I try to get my head around this being a feature match at Summerslam earlier this month. HHH punches him in the face for a breather and hits a low blow to really take over. A trip to the floor sees Eugene going shoulder first into the steps and then getting punched in the head to make it even worse.

Back in and HHH calls Eugene Orton because Eugene really doesn’t mean anything. The spinebuster puts Eugene down again and the knee drop makes it worse. It’s time for Eugene to get fired up though, meaning the comeback is on. The top rope double ax handle gets two and there’s the Rock Bottom. The Stunner is broken up and HHH slaps on the sleeper. Eugene is done but there’s a Pedigree for a bonus.

There’s no cover though and I think you know where this is going. HHH grabs the sledgehammer but here’s Orton (who not only got back inside but also changed from a suit into gear) to get punched in the face. Orton wins a quick slugout and hits him with the hammer. An RKO is enough to give Eugene the nothing pin. Orton’s music playing shows you how important the win was.

Rating: D. This was another example of a match being there to fill in time until we get to the angle advancement at the end, though it also shows you how far Eugene fell. He could have been any midcarder here, mainly because Eugene just doesn’t matter anymore. His character was completely destroyed with everything that happened to him being one more step down. I know he didn’t have a long future, but that HHH story just wrecked him.

Overall Rating: D-. I didn’t realize how bad this was until I looked back at the whole thing. There were way too many bad segments and even more really bad matches to go with it. I’ve always liked this Orton face turn but watching it back, they really couldn’t do much worse. The only really entertaining part of this show is the trainwreck that the Diva Search has become but that’s not enough to carry everything else.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw – August 30, 2004: Total Divas Wish They Were Like This

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: August 26, 2004
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ll wrap up the Smackdown half of the month here and that’s not the worst thing in the world. The big match this week will see john Cena face Booker T. in the second match in the best of five series for the US Title. Other than that we have the very injured JBL running from the Undertaker and Eddie Guerrero wanting one more match with Kurt Angle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey Mysterio saving Eddie Guerrero from Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns, setting up last week’s tag match main event. Angle pouring paint on the low rider to end the show was a great touch.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie to get things going. Last week, Angle defaced his personal property so this week, Eddie is going to deface him. That means Eddie wants a fight but he gets Luther Reigns instead. Reigns has seen a lot of fights in his day from prisons to bars, and he knows that Angle would annihilate him. Eddie is ready to fight anyway but Angle pops up on screen to say come to the parking lot.

The chase is on and Angle hides behind what he says is his car. Eddie pours trash on it and smashes the windows with a pipe but Reigns runs in from behind and beats him down. They get in another car and speed away, leaving Eddie to beat up the car a little more. Theodore Long comes up and says it’s his car. Eddie’s look makes up for any problems this might have had. Security takes Eddie away as Long cries over the car. Alas, no Final Fight reenactment.

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Rob Van Dam

Fallout from last week when Kenzo beat Van Dam down after a match. Before the match, Kenzo brags about Japanese cars before saying he loves America. Van Dam kicks him off the throne and starts beating up the people who carried it in. American jerk. Back in and Kenzo shoulders him down at the opening bell to take over.

The abdominal stretch goes on for a bit until Rob slips out and fires off some kicks. The top rope kick to the face gives Rob two and the split legged moonsault is good for the same as Rob finally changes up the offense a bit. It’s time for the Five Star but Rob has to dive onto an invading Rene Dupree. Not that it matters as a small package finishes Suzuki.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? It’s very clear that Suzuki is already a lost cause and while Rene is better, he’s not exactly an upgrade as a partner. Van Dam hasn’t had trouble beating either of these goons and whoever he finds as a partner shouldn’t have any issue either.

Post match Dupree and Suzuki beat Rob down and show each other respect. Yeah it’s still not interesting.

Long is still crying over his car and talking about how it was a classic and all he had. JBL and Orlando Jordan come up and yell about Long ignoring them all week. They want something done about Undertaker because this is an unsafe working environment. Long makes a title match for tonight against Undertaker but since JBL can’t wrestle, Jordan can defend it for him. So now his future depends on Orlando Jordan. Just give up now man.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie Noble and Paul London are at ringside. Kidman isn’t having this feeling out process and snaps off an early hurricanrana. Chavo gets in a few shots of his own to take over and it’s an armbar to keep him in trouble. That goes nowhere so Kidman fights up with a backdrop and a clothesline. The BK Bomb doesn’t work due to the bad arm so Kidman kicks him in the head instead. Noble breaks up the shooting star so London takes him out and kicks Chavo in the head. That’s enough for Kidman to hit the shooting star for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to get very far but the Tag Team Title match should be fun. The problem is the champs aren’t exactly lighting the world on fire and no one buys the challengers as a serious threat. There’s no division at the moment and that’s not likely to get better anytime soon.

Carlito Caribbean Cool vignette, this time showing him for the first time. The apple spit and catchphrase make their debuts as well.

Long is STILL devastated over his car when Angle and Reigns return. Angle doesn’t care about the car and gets a 2/3 falls match with Eddie next week. As for tonight, he can face Rey Mysterio. Dang Long is on fire and he makes Luther sweep up the mess as a bonus.

John Cena vs. Booker T.

Match #2 in the best of 5 series with Cena up 1-0. Booker starts fast by forearming him down and a suplex gets two. Cena is right back with an elbow of his own but Booker hits a superkick. The chinlock goes on early until Booker knees him in the back, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Another kick to the face gets another two and it’s already off to the second chinlock.

Booker switches it up to a double arm crank before getting two more off a spinebuster. This has been almost all Booker and the comeback can come anytime now. We hit another chinlock for another little while until Cena pops back to live with shoulders. The Shuffle connects for two but Booker sends him face first into the buckle. That and a backslide with feet on the ropes ties the series up.

Rating: D+. If there was a rating between D and D+, I’d go with that for this one. It was a lot of laying around in chinlocks and while it wasn’t the worst, it wasn’t thrilling. To be fair though, it’s the second of what is likely to be five matches so you can only get so annoyed at what they’re doing. Not the worst, but it felt like they were holding back/saving stuff for later. Understandable, but not really thrilling.

Match #3 will be taking place in Australia over the weekend at a house show. Good idea actually.

Paul Heyman is in the ring and introduces the new reason for his supreme confidence: Heidenreich. They get right to the point with Heidenreich saying he’s more than just hype and beating the heck out of Josh Matthews, including a shoulder breaker and a cobra clutch. Anything that involves Josh being hurt is a good thing for me.

Big Show is coming back.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

It’s worked before so this should be fine. Angle takes him down without much effort to start, which tends to be the case. Rey is back up with an armdrag and it’s time to mock Angle’s pose. You know that makes it serious but Angle charges into another headlock and the early frustration is setting in. Rey headscissors him outside for a baseball slide and we take a break. Back with Rey caught in a chinlock, as tends to be the case when you come back from a break around here. At least Angle has a knee in the back to keep things fresh.

An overhead belly to belly makes things even worse and it’s off to a bearhug, with Angle dropping to a knee to deal with the height. A release German suplex gives Angle two more so Rey pops back up with a dropkick. The 619 connects but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb for two. The Angle Slam is countered into an inverted DDT for a heck of a near fall so Rey tries a victory roll. Angle has been studying his Owen Hart though as he sits down on it for the pin.

Rating: B. Well of course these two had a good match. They’ve always had solid chemistry together and this was no exception. Angle winning clean over a guy who wrestles a similar style as Eddie Guerrero is a good way to set up next week’s 2/3 falls. It’s also not like a loss to Angle hurts Mysterio very much, especially when Mysterio isn’t doing anything at the moment anyway.

Smackdown flashback: Arnold Schwarzenegger beats up HHH.

Raw Rebound.

JBL gives Jordan a pep talk and isn’t exactly thrilled with the prospects. Jordan wants to wear the title and that’s shot down as fast as you might guess.

Smackdown World Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Undertaker

Jordan is defending in JBL’s place. He also gets to hold the title in what feels like fan fiction gone mad. Undertaker’s entrance gives us a hilarious visual of JBL, with the cowboy hat on top of the halo, turning to look and looking into the camera in the process with his eyes bugging out. Jordan tries slugging away and gets his head kicked off for two. Old School connects in a hurry and the jumping clothesline gets two. A JBL distraction lets Jordan get in his first major offense, because it’s not like he can do it himself.

Back in and some right hands stagger Jordan but Undertaker goes after JBL again. The results are the same this time around and Jordan gets two off a Downward Spiral. That just makes Undertaker sit up though and it’s time for the proper beating to begin. A right hand knocks JBL off the apron and there’s the Tombstone, but JBL pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I don’t think anyone was expecting anything other than JBL interfering for the DQ and it’s not a bad thing to go with the obvious. Jordan still isn’t anything more than a warm body who isn’t any good in the ring, but he serves a purpose here. Not a terrible match, but an exercise in killing time.

Post match Undertaker beats up JBL, ripping the braces off and hitting a chokeslam. Undertaker poses with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It’s hard to put into words, but there’s something about Smackdown that feels so much more together than Raw. Over on Raw you get the big angles and stories and promos, but Smackdown tends to be more low key, allowing them to show things off a little bit better and let them develop. It might never get as big around here, but it also never feels as bogged down when a story is bad. You can go either way with that, but both are rather entertaining.

This was a great example of that kind of Smackdown and I had a good time with it, though it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. They’re building things up for the next few weeks and those stories sound interesting. If we can get some great action out of these stories (Eddie vs. Kurt seems like), it’s going to be easy to see Smackdown pulling ahead, though both shows are getting a little better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 23, 2004
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a wedding! The big story on this week’s show is the wedding of Kane and Lita, the latter of whom isn’t exactly thrilled with the whole thing. Other than that there’s the whole removal of Randy Orton from Evolution as HHH turned on him. The problem of course is that doesn’t make him a face as much as it makes him a heel who was attacked by a heel, though I don’t think WWE understands that. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Orton being thrown out of Evolution.

Opening sequence.

Here are the Diva Search girls in the swimsuits, likely to pop ratings or something. After Lawler points out the lack of blondes remaining, Tracy is eliminated. That brings us to tonight’s challenge: everyone gets two minutes to tell Coach how great he is. Actually let’s make it five minutes…but here’s Rock to interrupt. Yes they’re using THE ROCK on the Diva Search girls. After a quick threat gets rid of Coach, Rock certainly seems to approve of the girls in front of him. He knows they’re all getting wet…..with perspiration from the hot lights above. Maria nearly died from that line.

Rock talks about Lilian Garcia getting fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job as the ad libbing is strong with this one. That brings Rock to Carmella, who he knows everyone hates. After a quick yell at a fan for trying to get attention, Rock talks about everyone hating him back in the day. We get an IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK to Carmella and Rock talks about the ice cream segment from a few weeks back. That wasn’t entertaining though because no one wants to see them eat ice cream.

No they want to see the girls eat pie, so let’s have a pie eating contest. For no apparent reason, Tajiri brings out the pies (some of which have already been eaten). Before the eating begins, Rock asks Tajiri about his pie preferences. That would be “poontong”, which Rock wouldn’t mind trying. Just to keep this long, each one gets twenty seconds to eat pie instead of doing it all at once. Joy goes first and eats the cherry while talking about wanting to see Carmella eat crow. She wants a match with Carmella (Heaven help us) “WWE style”.

Rock admits that that one was bad so it’s off to Amy, who pulls her hair back. You can hear Rock biting his lip to avoid the jokes. Amy slowly licks the whipped cream and this one goes down a lot better. Carmella is up next next and uses her fingers to rub the whipped cream all over herself, plus feed Tajiri a bit. Notice the lack of the women actually eating the pie, save for Amy (and that was mainly the cream).

Maria puts some cream on her nose and licks it off, which Rock deems as talent. Christy goes last and sits on the pie instead. With that mess out of the way, Coach brings out La Resistance to interrupt. Is it still an interruption when there’s nothing going on? The beatdown is on until Rhyno runs in to save Rock and Tajiri. You know, because Rock needed help from these three. Coach gets beaten down for the only entertaining part of the thing.

This was horrible and ran over twenty minutes with Rock clearly not caring in the slightest. It was obvious that he wasn’t interested and I can’t blame him. They brought him back for the first time in months for this? The Diva Search is just dumb and some midcard goon could have done this just fine. I believe this is Rock’s last live appearance on Raw until 2011 and they used him as a host for an unfunny, uninteresting segment with women who are competing to be eye candy. Can you blame him for staying in Hollywood?

A whistling Kane, in his ring gear, arrives, carrying his tuxedo over his shoulder.

Long recap of Orton vs. Benoit from last week and the ensuing beatdown from Evolution.

Evolution has a meeting in the back and Flair asks if Orton will really do it. HHH says they’re in charge of Orton’s destiny.

Kane comes in to see Lita and says nothing will stop their perfect wedding. It’s an all white affair to signify the purity of their child so he pulls out a white dress for her. It’s a nice day for a white wedding.

Hokey smoke a match!

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Edge is defending and bails to the rope to get out of an early hammerlock. Jericho knocks him outside and we take an early break. Heaven forbid we see wrestling on this show. Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock and catching Edge with a spinwheel kick. The top rope back elbow gets two but Jericho’s spinning middle rope crossbody is countered into a DDT. A quick rollup gives Edge the pin, though Jericho’s foot was in the ropes so let’s keep this going.

Back from a break with Jericho elbowing him in the face for two and choking in the corner. The running enziguri sets up the running bulldog but the Lionsault (after a running start) misses and Jericho jams his knee. The Edge-O-Matic gets two and Edge spears him off the apron for a crash into the barricade. Back in and Jericho rolls through a high crossbody for two of his own, followed by the Walls to send Edge bailing to the ropes. Back up and Edge crotches him on top….for the DQ. Yeah it’s one of those matches and that doesn’t make it any better.

Rating: C-. This was off by a few steps but even that level for these two is certainly watchable. The finish was stupid though, which is one of the biggest eye roll inducing moments that you can have. I don’t know how much I want to see another match between them but they’re doing enough good at the moment to warrant a rematch.

Post match Edge spears him down and is surprised by the DQ. Fair enough there.

Here’s Evolution for Orton’s ultimatum. HHH doesn’t believe that life is predetermined so there are consequences to every action. Take Randy Orton, who doesn’t want to be a failure like his father and grandfather. Orton was allowed to associate with the best of the best, but then he made a decision to go out there for himself and take the World Title instead of softening Benoit up.

That title is HHH’s but Orton was out here with all the ballyhoo (yes BALLYHOO) and then he faced the consequences. Tonight it’s time for Orton to make another choice: he can hand HHH the World Title and lay down so Evolution can walk away from him. On the other hand, Orton can keep trying this fighting against Evolution thing and face more consequences. This brings out Orton so HHH can tell him to lay down.

A referee comes out and HHH grabs the belt but Orton doesn’t let go. Instead he spits in HHH’s face and runs away before Evolution can kill him. Now if they had done that last week, they could have been there. It feels like they’re trying to do fix things after Orton got destroyed last week, though not without HHH getting to talk about how awesome he is first.

Victoria is yelling at Eric Bischoff about the wedding when HHH storms in and demands retribution. The title match is set for Unforgiven. You can hear the groan from the arena.

William Regal vs. Ric Flair

Eugene is back and in Regal’s corner. This is fallout from Regal knocking Flair cold with the brass knuckles at Summerslam. Regal goes with the cravate to start and Regal can’t do much to get out. Some chops in the corner have Regal in trouble but the uppercuts slow Flair down all over again. Another cravate takes Flair down (how British of Regal) as JR lists off Batista’s statistics. Imagine how JR would be if Batista had played college football too. They head outside with Flair taking a backdrop on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Flair dropping a knee on the head and chopping Regal down. As King suggests that Kane get Lita some edible underwear for the honeymoon, Regal comes back with more strikes to the face and Flair gets slammed off the top. Flair is right back with the Figure Four with an assist from Batista, so Eugene comes in to turn it over. As Eugene beats up Batista (erg), here’s Chris Benoit for the same. Eugene is sent into the post (good) as Flair and Regal pull out brass knuckles. Regal’s punch is faster though and Flair is out for the pin.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going and the ending was fine, assuming you ignore Eugene being able to go toe to toe with Batista like that. There’s only so much you can get out of a match like this but Regal is rolling along with this new push. It’s almost like he’s perfect for an angry guy who likes to fight. Now if only this can go somewhere.

Smackdown Rebound.

The Diva Search girls are in the back for the voting information. Thankfully they don’t waste arena time with this.

Lita is in the wedding dress and breaks a mirror.

The ring is prepared for the wedding, because that always goes so well.

Kane is in a white tuxedo, which oddly works for him.

It’s time for the wedding, starting with some small people as the flower girl and….I guess usher. Kane comes out and kisses the flower girl on the cheek, followed by Lita in a black wedding dress. The minister says someone wants to speak and Lita gets her hopes up but it’s Eric Bischoff, also in a white tuxedo. He has a podium on the stage and reads a passage from the Bible, talking about how the best is yet to come. In a rather weird moment, the fans WHAT the Bible.

The minister says this is clearly a unique relationship and we see a video prepared by Kane, chronicling the entire thing. It’s exactly what you would expect, though this is already starting to drag. Minister: “Uh…..moving on.” Kane has written his own vows and says he originally saw her as a vessel and nothing more. Now she is his property and will do whatever he says. There is no escape and Lita is with him until the day she dies. As the minister looks ready to have a stroke, Lita talks about always loving Matt Hardy and praying every day that Kane is in a horrible accident that kills him instantly. Kane: “That was lovely.”

We get to the “if there is anyone here” line and Lita is almost begging for Matt to come out here. Instead here’s Trish Stratus in white lingerie (….well that works) to be Lita’s maid of honor. She knew Lita couldn’t wear white because she knew Lita couldn’t. Trish knows Lita can be happy if she opens her heart, just like she opened her legs. The fight is on with Kane breaking it up and it’s time to get on with things.

Lita swallows hard and says I do. It’s Kane’s turn but Matt Hardy runs in through the crowd and the fight is on. Kane moves quite well for someone in a white tuxedo. Matt gets the better of it but a wall of fire prevents he and Lita from leaving. That’s enough for Kane to chokeslam Matt off the stage and the minister marries them. Kane kisses her and carries Lita off to end the show.

WAY too long here with the whole thing dragging. Save for the snappy fashion sense (Kane and Trish in particular), this could have had a good ten minutes trimmed off. Oh and that’s the last time you’ll see Matt for nearly a year as he had a really bad knee and was released while recovering.

Overall Rating: D. Did the wrestlers just take a week off here? There was the WAY too long Rock/Diva Search segment, the HHH/Orton segment (better, but still long), the eternally long wedding and two matches, neither of which were very good. That’s your two hours of Raw this week and egads it was a rough one to watch. I don’t know if this was them trying something new or just not thinking it out, but it really didn’t work, to put it mildly. Hopefully next week is better because this was a big miss.

I’ve actually done this one before so here’s the original if you’re interested:

Monday Night Raw – August 23, 2004: Unlike Anything I’ve Ever Seen

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: August 19, 2004
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The Canadian adventure continues as JBL is still Smackdown World Champion and likely in line to continue feuding with the Undertaker. I’m sure you’re as thrilled as I am. Other than that Kurt Angle pinned Eddie Guerrero in a match that should set up a third match to settle things for good, though you never know with them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the limo to open things up with Orlando Jordan helping JBL out. This gives us one of my all time favorite visuals, with JBL wearing a halo around his neck with the cowboy hat sitting on top, above JBL’s head. The entrance takes forever as JBL can barely walk but he eventually (and very slowly) says he’s in tremendous pain. All the booing from these inferior Canadians are hurting his head but it’s ok if they want to chant JBL.

He won at Summerslam though and just like Martin Luther King, he had a dream. At his Hall of Fame induction, he wanted a clip of himself pinning Undertaker to introduce his speech. It wasn’t fair that Undertaker got himself disqualified so he didn’t have to pass the torch to JBL. We see some stills of the beatdown from Sunday (JBL: “Why are you people cheering that?”), which takes a lot of time as well.

JBL remembers seeing Undertaker’s evil face before passing out, which the fans seem to enjoy. After a quick rant about the American army protecting Canada, JBL says Undertaker will NOT be getting a rematch. This brings out Undertaker so JBL takes another minute or so to get out of the ring as he sells the heck out of those injuries. As JBL stumbles over a fan, Undertaker holds up the title because there MUST be a rematch.

It’s far better when JBL is played this way instead of bragging about everything he’s done over the years, which was just boring. This is actually entertaining and if we see more like this, he’s downright tolerable. It ran about fifteen minutes, but JBL selling his injuries made it worth the time.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Spike is defending and has Bubba and D-Von with him. Scotty starts fast with some slams into an armbar, followed by a backdrop onto the other Dudleys. D-Von gets up and offers a distraction so Bubba can break up the Worm. The top rope double stomp is blocked by a raised boot and the very quick comeback is on. Bubba has to make a save after a superkick and the Dudley Dog retains the title.

Rating: D. We’re never going to get an explanation of why Bubba and D-Von are listening to Spike are we? It’s not the most interesting story in the first place and I don’t see it getting any better. The fact that it took all three to deal with Scotty 2 Hotty should tell you everything you need to know about the legs this story has.

Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming.

Raw Rebound.

As the announcers talk, two guys come up with a HEIDENREICH NEXT WEEK banner.

John Cena (in a Wrestlemania inspired Word Life shirt) promises to go up 2-0 on Booker T. next week. Spike Dudley comes in and doesn’t like the idea of Cena calling himself a champ. Cena says it looks like Dennis the Menace finally grew up. Now Spike needs some glasses though because he can’t see Cena. Bubba and D-Von come in for the beatdown.

Billy Kidman/Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero/Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble and London start things off with Paul’s front facelock not getting him very far. London gets thrown to the apron but slingshots back in with a headscissors, only to get his head clotheslined off. It’s off to Chavo for a front facelock of his own as the villains take over. Chavo hits a slingshot legdrop for two but London gets to his feet for a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Kidman so house can really be cleaned. Everything breaks down and it’s a BK Bomb to Chavo, followed by a sunset flip but Jamie pulls Chavo on top. A grab of the rope is enough for the pin on Kidman.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, though I’m not sure on having the Tag Team Champions lose on Sunday and then lose again on Thursday. They aren’t the strongest champions in the world in the first place and it doesn’t seem like a great idea to have them lose twice in a row like this. Noble and Guerrero aren’t winning the titles so did you really need to do this on two straight shows?

Teddy Long sends Brian Hebner to tell John Cena that he’ll be facing a Dudley later tonight.

Here’s a disappointed Eddie Guerrero for a chat. He calls Kurt Angle out because we haven’t really determined the better man. This brings out Angle, who thinks Eddie is nuts for wanting to do this again. Angle is looking for action though and Eddie likes that idea, but Angle says no. Eddie says they’ve done this twice and are 1-1, so we need a rubber match. It’s true that Angle outwrestled him and no one has ever done it to him like that in his career.

Eddie wants Angle to shake his hand but Angle doesn’t buy it. Some persuasion gets Angle inside and Eddie says he’s telling the truth…..before punching him in the face. Luther Reigns comes out for the save until Rey Mysterio runs out to even things up. Eddie lying after convincing Angle that he’s telling the truth still works. It’s like Ric Flair turning on Sting back in 1995. You know exactly where it’s going but it’s still fun to watch because you want to see these people act like they’re supposed to.

John Cena vs. D-Von Dudley

Booker T. is on commentary. D-Von hammers away in the corner to start but Cena is right back with a hiptoss. They slug it out some more with D-Von elbowing him in the face for two more. A splash misses in the corner and Cena scores with a backdrop. Cena slugs away, knocks Bubba off the apron, and hits an AA (Booker: “NO! NO!”) for the fast pin.

Post match Cena says Booker has something of his, and next week they’re having the second match in their series.

Video on the debut episode of Smackdown, just shy of five years ago.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Rematch from Sunday’s Heat match. They fight over a wristlock to start as the announcers talk about the wrestling history in this building. Van Dam kicks him down but misses the flip legdrop to give us a standoff. The corner shoulders and a monkey flip sends Rene down but he’s able to send Van Dam shoulder first into the post. An armbar keeps Van Dam in trouble as a pull of the hair gives Rene two.

The armbar goes on again as the announcers talk about underwater basket weaving and synchronized swimming. Rob pops up with a superkick and a bridging German suplex for two. Rolling Thunder hits raised knees and a good looking superplex keeps Van Dam’s back in trouble. Rob is fine enough to kick him in the face and hit the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here and one of Rene’s best matches to date. They kept it short and Rene’s offense, especially that superplex, looked rather sharp. Van Dam isn’t about to lose to Dupree, whose status is starting to fade fast. Rob might not be the top star in the company, but he’s still ahead of Dupree.

Post match Kenzo Suzuki comes in and lays out Van Dam. It still doesn’t make him interesting.

Theodore Long gives a tape to a production worker, followed by some holla holla holla lessons. This was oddly creepy with Long flirting with the production woman.

The $1 Million Tough Enough is coming. There’s someone involved in that and he’s awesome.

Long is in the ring and has a major announcement: he’s rehired the Big Show. As a bonus, he introduces the main event.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Rey dropkicks Luther to start and it’s Eddie coming in for a suplex. It’s already back to Rey, whose crossbody is countered into a backbreaker to change control in a hurry. Angle gets two off a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. The impatient Eddie breaks that up in a hurry so Rey snaps off a headscissors. The hot tag brings in Eddie and Angle hides in the corner like a true coward.

Angle starts in on the ankle and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Angle grabbing the ankle lock but Eddie rolls out in a hurry. Another leglock keeps Angle in control until a quick rollup gives Eddie two and a break. Reigns comes back in for a hold of his own and tags Angle after getting kicked away. That’s fine with Kurt, who cuts Eddie’s trip to the corner off with an overhead belly to belly. Eddie breaks up another suplex attempt and now it’s the hot tag to Rey so the pace can pick up.

A springboard seated senton gets two on Angle but the hurricanrana to Reigns takes bumps the referee. The 619 around the post knocks Angle silly and Reigns is knocked into position as well. Angle is back up with a chair to Rey’s knee though, sending Eddie after Angle with a chair of his own. With Angle gone, a low blow drops Reigns and it’s the Three Amigos into the 619 into the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. Eddie and Rey were always fun to see together and that was the case again here. They gel together so smoothly and that was the case here. Reigns was kept to a minimum here and that’s the right idea for a match like this. Let the three masters do their thing and have him come in for the power stuff. That’s all it should be and it worked fine here, even if the match followed a pretty simple formula.

Post match Eddie and Rey celebrate the win but here’s Angle to pour paint on the low rider. Eddie is distraught to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Other than the hilarious JBL image, there wasn’t a lot going on with this one. There was some average at best wrestling and storyline advancement that feels like we’re just heading to rematches either on television or at No Mercy. The Smackdown half of Summerslam was only so good in the first place so this isn’t the most thrilling show in the world. Not terrible, but not exactly exciting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 2004
Location: Labatt Center, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Summerslam has come and gone, meaning Randy Orton is the new Raw World Champion. That’s quite the spot for someone as young as he is but it’s WAY past the time that we need a new top heel. The few seconds it took me to write that out are about as much time as I believe Orton will get to enjoy this before HHH, fresh off his mammoth, colossal win over Eugene, decides it’s his show again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s new World Champion Randy Orton, rocking the heck out of a suit and holding the title as confetti and balloons fall. Orton talks about how no one thought he could do it last night. He survived the Crossface, the Sharpshooter and six straight German suplexes. Now he’s right here in front of you as the youngest WWE Champion in history, meaning more posing. Orton has every 24 year old male stand up and says that’s what the average one looks like.

Now he wants them all to take off their shirts (Orton: “Females you can catch up with me later.”), which makes Orton cringe a bit. It’s true in America too and there’s no way around reality: he is just better than everyone else. Get used to the sight of Orton holding the title while wearing a $3000 suit because the Randy Orton Era has just begun. Cue Chris Benoit and I think you know where this is going. Indeed, Benoit says he’s cashing in his rematch clause tonight and the title is on the line.

Rhyno vs. Sylvan Grenier

If Rhyno wins, he and Tajiri get a Tag Team Title shot at Unforgiven. If Grenier wins, they never get a shot. Rhyno tries for the fast rollup as the confetti continues to fall. A Conway distraction lets Grenier take over, followed by a flag shot to Tajiri on the floor. Grenier takes him down with a flap jack and drops a knee for two before putting on the chinlock. Rhyno fights up and hits the powerslam for two of his own but Conway’s distraction slows things down again. Tajiri has finally had it and mists Grenier, setting up the Gore for the pin.

Rating: D. So they set up a pretty obvious finish and then went straight there after a boring match. La Resistance is still fine for what they’re doing, but they’re not exactly good at lighting up the crowd. Rhyno and Tajiri are perfectly acceptable challengers of the month and that’s enough to keep things along until a good team can take the belts.

Kane and Lita’s wedding is next week with Kane reading an invitation.

Lawler thinks this is hilarious and JR has to yell at him to shut up.

We recap Kane beating Matt Hardy last night to win Lita’s hand in marriage. Still sounds weird no matter how you put it.

Lita is devastated so some of the meaner Divas give her a bridal shower. Molly says that since Lita likes to sleep around, here are some birth control pills and condoms, complete with a singing of the Trojan Man jingle. Gail has a framed picture of Lita and Kane’s first kiss, plus another composite picture of what the baby should look like. Finally, a vibrator (not shown of course but the box shakes) because reasons. I know it’s going to be awhile but they’re doing a good job of making me want to see Lita kill Trish. Lita leaves and Victoria comes in so Trish can yell at her for losing Diva Dodgeball. Victoria slaps her like she should.

Shawn Michaels is coming back and the video gets booed. Canada of course.

Victoria vs. Gail Kim

Victoria starts with a monkey flip into the dancing moonsault for two. A trip to the floor lets Gail get in a few shots to take over as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. Gail slaps on a Black Widow and takes it to the mat for a little twist on the move. With the match not really being thrilling, the fans go with a YOU SCREWED BRET chant at Earl Hebner to fulfill their requirements. Victoria pops back up and hits Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Rating: D+. That freaky Black Widow alone is enough to bring this up a notch. The rest of the match wasn’t anything to see but in theory this helps set Victoria up as the next challenger to Trish. Gail is at least getting better in the ring, though her charisma still has a long way to go.

Post match Trish and Tyson Tomko come in for the beatdown but the mystery woman (who the fans at home can tell is Stevie Richards and who the fans in the arena can tell is Stevie Richards but who leaves the announcers clueless) comes in for the save.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Edge

Kane is challenging as a wedding present from Bischoff. As a bonus, Kane dedicates this match to Lita in that creepy voice of his. Kane shoves him down to start but misses a big boot, allowing Edge to go after the knee. Edge stays on the leg as Jerry wants Kane and Lita to take a camera along with them on their honeymoon. A standing Figure Four around the post as JR thinks Kane and Lita are registered at Satan R Us for a small chuckle. Lita comes out to watch and we take a break.

Back with Kane hitting a hot shot and slapping on the chinlock. JR continues to rant about the wedding and thank goodness this isn’t the modern commentary team, which would have turned this into a string of insults against each other as they say everyone is stupid. Edge, with confetti on his back, fights up and knocks Kane down with a running forearm.

A basement dropkick puts Kane on the apron and a spear sends him to the apron. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Edge two as Lawler talks about Kane really being the Big Red Machine. Kane goes up top and shoves Edge into the referee but hits the top rope clothesline anyway. Cue Matt Hardy for a Twist of Fate, allowing Edge to hit the spear to retain.

Rating: D+. This hasn’t exactly been a strong night for wrestling. The Kane vs. Lita/Matt story is becoming oddly intriguing and a wedding is always worth something. I’m not sure how much further they can take it but some stories are only supposed to go so far. You need some soap opera style stuff sometimes and this is one of the more entertaining versions.

Post match Lita stays in the ring for some reason and Kane says nothing can make him mad right now. He’s looking forward to consummating the marriage so Lita slaps him. That’s how he likes it though. JR: “Of God almighty no.”

It’s Diva Search time with the girls together in the back. This week, they all got to say which contestant they would vote off and why. These are pre-taped and shown on a monitor.

Michelle would vote off Carmella because she’s busy and only wants another contract rather than a WWE career.

Christy would vote off Carmella because she doesn’t want it.

Maria would vote off Carmella because she doesn’t put the effort in and “acts like a dish rag”.

Tracy would vote off Carmella because she’s not excited enough to be here.

Carmella would vote off Joy she has a husband and babies so it might be hard to make this work.

Amy would vote off Carmella because she doesn’t want to be here and has laughed at the tests. So she’s just like the audience?

Joy would vote off Carmella because she hasn’t been a team player and missed Diva Dodgeball.

The Diva voted off is…Michelle. I’m sure she had no future in wrestling anyway. So Carmella is the heel now, because this thing needed a villain.

Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Flair is here with Batista, who starts with the power in the form of shoulders in the corner. An early comeback is cut off by a Flair trip and Batista forearms Jericho in the back. Jericho is right back with a dropkick and an enziguri into the ropes. A chop block looks to set up the Walls but Batista powers out without much effort. Instead of going after him again, Jericho dropkicks Flair off the apron instead. Flair is fine enough to break up the Lionsault for the DQ though.

Rating: D+. My goodness Orton vs. Benoit better be incredible to make up a lot of the mess so far. Batista isn’t quite as dominant as he was before Summerslam but at least he didn’t take a fall here. Jericho is kind of floating around at the moment and needs something to do, but I’m thinking he’ll be fine no matter what he does.

Post match the beatdown is on with Edge coming out for the save but stopping at ringside instead of getting in. Interesting indeed.

Divas in bikinis again.

HHH tells Orton how important the title is. Anyone would give their arm to get a shot at the title and Orton won it last night. Evolution will be there for the post match celebration.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and wears the title for an always appreciated visual. Benoit jumps him before the bell and starts in a hurry. A quick elbow drop keeps Orton down, setting up a belly to back suplex for the first two. Orton sends him outside to no avail and gets caught in a release fisherman’s suplex back inside.

A top rope superplex gives Benoit a delayed two and it’s time for more chops. They fall out to the floor and Benoit drops him knee first onto the steps. Back from a break with Orton in the Sharpshooter and finally making the rope for the save, with the fans exhaling all at once. Orton’s knee is fine enough to knock Benoit to the floor for a much needed breather. Benoit gets posted and it’s time to start in on the neck. That of course means the chinlock for a good while before the over the shoulder neckbreaker gets two.

Benoit fights out of the next chinlock with a neckbreaker and they’re both down. Orton’s backbreaker puts Benoit right back down but he misses the high crossbody. The Swan Dive knocks both of them silly and gives Benoit a delayed two as you can tell the fans are into this one. Benoit’s rolling German suplexes set up the Crossface so here’s Evolution for the distraction. That’s enough for the RKO to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another good match from two guys who have chemistry. It’s also fine to have Orton get the pin off the screwy finish as he’s already shown that he can beat Benoit completely clean so it’s not like it hurts anything. They leave a door open for a rematch, but this should be it for Orton vs. Benoit for the time being. He doesn’t have many people left to face though…and you know what’s next.

Post match Evolution celebrates with Orton and puts him on Batista’s shoulders as HHH gives him the thumbs up. That turns into a thumbs down though and Batista drops Orton back so the beatdown can be on. Orton is wrecked and busted open, with HHH holding the title in his face and yelling to end the show. It’s a good angle, even if it’s more HHH greatness. The story makes sense, but my goodness I could go for a break from HHH at the top of the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event and post match angle helped but there was nothing leading up to that. You would think there would have been something a little bit better coming off of Summerslam but at least we got one really good thing. The wedding should be a lot more entertaining next week though and if you couple that with a solid followup from Orton (we should be so lucky), things will be a lot better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6