IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

The main change here is that we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, with the latter defending against Angle and a crooked referee tonight. On top of that we’ve got Raw vs. Smackdown in a major Survivor Series match which actually feels kind of big for once. Other than that there’s HHH vs. Flair in a Last Man Standing match which should be good. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

This is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title, which would go on until January and saw Randy Orton wrestling four of the matches in Booker’s place. Benoit gets in Booker’s face in the corner and they tie up for a bit. Booker hits an awkward kind of slam but Benoit pops right back up. Benoit sends him to the floor and that goes absolutely nowhere. Back in and Chris takes him to the mat with a leg hold.

After Booker grabs a rope, it’s time for a test of strength with Booker (the heel here) kicking Benoit in the face to take over. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face. A suplex puts Booker down as does an elbow to the face. Booker hits a side slam for two and it’s off to an arm hold followed by an abdominal stretch. After Benoit escapes, Booker kicks his head off for two. This is moving somewhat slowly so far but it’s not bad.

Booker hits an arm trap neckbreker (like Sandow’s Terminus) for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Benoit escapes a vertical suplex and it’s time to roll some Germans, but Booker escapes the third and kicks Benoit in the face again. Another attempt at a kick is caught in a legdrag but the Sharpshooter that follows it up doesn’t quite work, giving Booker a cradle for two.

A snap suplex gets two for Chris and we roll some more Germans. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s distraction lets Booker load up a superplex. Benoit goes psycho though and headbutts Booker to the mat, but the Swan Dive misses, allowing Booker to get a rollup with Sharmell holding Booker’s feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two are awesome together and both series they had (they did this in WCW for the TV Title) were entertaining stuff. At the end of the day, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with throwing two people out there and letting them have a good match. This was a solid choice for an opener too as both guys got to show off and the fans were getting into it near the end.

Vince wishes Bischoff luck tonight and Montreal is referenced. Of course. Eric says he’ll screw Cena. Cena pops up and says “so Eric Bischoff screws guys. Good luck with that.” Vince then says to Cena, and I 100% quote, “keep it up my nigga.” Booker and Sharmell don’t seem pleased.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Trish is defending and Melina has MNM, the Smackdown tag champions, with him. This is interpromotional apparently. Melina and MNM had kidnapped Trish and held her captive until the match was agreed to. Well that’s one way to do it. Trish and her psycho fan (the brand new Mickie James) come out fast with Trish sending Melina to the floor and diving on all three members of MNM. Trish is looking great here.

Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.

As the brawl is going on, MNM tries the Snapshot (elevated double team DDT) on Trish, only to get caught and ejected. Things calm down a bit and Melina puts on a surfboard, which may or may not be an excuse to have Trish’s chest shoved out while wearing tight leather. Trish fights back but Stratusfaction is countered into a face plant for two, drawing the primal screams from Melina.

Stratus comes back with some forearms but runs into a boot in the corner. The Stratusphere puts Melina down and there’s a spinebuster of all things for two for Trish. Chick Kick and Stratusfaction miss and Trish is sent to the apron, but Mickie pulls her out of the way of a charging Melina. Trish goes up and misses about 95% of a top rope bulldog but it’s good enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.

Watch Jake’s DVD! It’s full of lies but watch it!

Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH came back from injury and turned on Flair in their first match together. They fought in a cage match at Taboo Tuesday with Flair somehow pulling out one of the biggest upsets of his career. Tonight it’s a rematch in a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. Oh and Flair is IC Champion but this is non-title. Like HHH would ever actively go after a midcard title. HHH jumps Flair as he comes to the ring and beats on him in the aisle for a bit before we head inside. It’s chair time very quickly but Flair pokes HHH in the ribs with a kendo stick to block the shot. They head into the crowd with Flair chopping HHH through the fans. He swings one time too many though and HHH backdrops him back to ringside.

A suplex puts Flair’s back on the concrete and draws some loud swearing. HHH suplexes him back into the ring and Flair is in trouble. Some quick punches don’t do much good for Flair and we head back to the outside. Flair gets posted, but if that’s not enough to cut him open, HHH carves up his forehead with a freaking SCREWDRIVER. There is blood everywhere in just a matter of seconds, so HHH digs it in even more back in the ring.

HHH takes him down and the knee drop misses by about eight inches. The shot of the second one is even worse and they slug it out in the corner. We head outside again and Flair sends him into the steps to give Flair a breather. Flair pokes HHH in the eye but HHH hits a spinebuster to take him right back down on the concrete. HHH talks trash on the mic and Flair is like “boy Jack Brisco’s tights were tougher than you” and he grabs HHH by the balls. Well when there’s nothing else I guess that’s all you can do. HHH blasts him with the mic to break the grip. I guess that’s Stephanie only territory.

Flair is set for a Pedigree through the announce table but he backdrops HHH through the other table, drawing our first count of the match. That gets a nine and HHH grabs another chair. Back in and HHH has Flair dead to rights but instead of swinging the chair, HHH pounds away with punches instead. HHH pounds away in the corner, so Flair kicks him low again, followed by a chair shot for five. Flair is like YUM and bites at the cut on HHH’s forehead. Flair is kind of a weird dude sometimes.

Ric wraps HHH’s balls around the post and does the same to the leg, which is a smart move in a last man standing match. Then he crushes the balls FOUR MORE TIMES. DUDE FOR THE LOVE OF STEPHANIE GIVE IT A BREAK! Back in and Flair chop blocks HHH, before biting the guy’s thigh. Flair is a pretty sick guy at times no? He goes back to the knee (with kicks this time instead of teeth) but the Figure Four is blocked twice, the second time having Flair knocked to the outside.

For the first time, Flair pulls out a weapon of his own and whacks the knee with a chair. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair is perfectly allowed to grab the ropes. HHH taps but it doesn’t mean anything here. That draws an 8 with a shaky call from the referee that HHH was up at one point. A double clothesline puts both guys down and HHH rolls to the floor. The Game throws in some steps and clocks Flair in the face with them. Flair needs to scream less. Sometimes you should just be stunned and dazed you know?

HHH charges with the steps again but Flair hits a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps face first. That only gets a nine so they slug it out. Flair sends him into the ropes but ducks his head like an idiot, allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree……which only gets eight. HHH Pedigrees him AGAIN, but Flair is up at 8 and flips off HHH. A THIRD Pedigree gets nine, so HHH “hits” (Get better directors already. This is ridiculous) him in the back with the sledgehammer to finally keep Flair down for ten.

Rating: B+. Bad direction and cuts aside, this was a very solid brawl. They beat the tar out of each other with Flair trying as hard as he could to have one last great moment, but not being evil enough anymore to hang with the new guy in HHH. This was good stuff and thankfully it more or less ended HHH and Flair’s time on camera together.

Flair is taken out on a stretcher.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.

Trish and Mickie do an online interview.

Orton gives Team Smackdown a pep talk but talks about Batista as the weak link. Batista shows up and the tune changes. He thinks that since he’s world champion, he should be leader. JBL says it should be him. Batista glares at him and JBL stammers a lot.

Here are Edge and Lita with something to say. Edge is Mr. MITB at this point but doesn’t have a match tonight. Edge talks about how his own talk show, called The Cutting Edge, is debuting soon. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk to Dmitri Young. Edge makes fun of the Tigers for not being able to win the World Series and calls everyone here fat. He makes fun of the Detroit sports teams and now they give Dmitri Young (“Come here Mark Henry. Oh wait…”) a live mic. Young talks about Edge’s balls and lists off all of Detroit’s titles before saying Edge has none. This took seven minutes somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Cena. Basically it’s “I’m Kurt Angle and therefore better than you. NOW LET ME SHOUT EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID AGAIN!” Cena is like bring it man and whatever rhymes with man!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Daivari, Angle’s crony, is the guest referee. The YOU SUCKS from the crowd are censored because of some Bischoff ruling. Daivari is rubbing Angle’s shoulders during the intros. Oh and Cena is defending. The champ is here….right on the mat with Angle working on the leg. Cena comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and some shoulder blocks to send Kurt to the floor. Daivari won’t let Cena go after Angle and Joey is way more excited about it than anyone else. Isn’t Daivari doing what a referee is supposed to do anyway?

Back in and Cena hits some elbows and a release fisherman’s suplex for no count from Daivari. Cena goes to yell at him and is immediately caught in the ankle lock. Cena finally gets to the rope but Daivari kicks his hand off. The hold is broken and Cena spinebusts Angle before slapping Daivari a few times. Angle won’t let Daivari DQ Cena, so Cena knocks them both to the floor.

Kurt gets all fired up and slams Cena into the steps and hits an overhead belly to belly on the outside. A second referee comes out as Daivari is still down. Daivari would be a wrestler one day, so how did he get so much better at being able to take punishment? I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, Cena puts on a reverse waistlock but Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Angle comes back with a knee lift and Cena is in trouble.

The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.

A low blow puts Cena down and Angle calls in another referee to count two on the Angle Slam. Angle superplexes Cena down for two but the moonsault misses. Cena loads up another FU but Angle grabs the referee to escape. An uppercut puts the referee down AGAIN and Kurt throws Daivari back in, who is apparently STILL out cold after about ten minutes, breaking Davey Boy Smith’s record from 1994. A Smackdown referee comes down but Angle yells at him, allowing Cena to DDT Daivari. Kurt comes in and walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C. This was WAY overbooked and Cena was in over his head with Angle, but it wasn’t bad or anything. Angle vs. Cena was supposed to be a huge feud but it never felt like anything all that special. Cena wasn’t ready for a real showdown with Angle yet but he would get a lot better over the next year or so though. The referee stuff was kind of stupid though, especially with Daivari being out cold for so long.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.

We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.

Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.

The Raw guys do the same thing.

We recap Raw vs. Smackdown. At a 3 hour special Raw called WWE Homecoming, there was going to be a Smackdown six man tag but Bischoff turned the lights out on them because he said they were inferior to Raw. This prompted a multiple PPV running feud where they kept invading each others’ shows, setting up a battle for supremacy here.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,

Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield

Show and Kane are tag champions, Batista is world champion but is injured due to Big Show and Kane attacking him over and over, and Lashley is undefeated at this point. This hasn’t been mentioned yet on the commentary for pretty obvious reasons, but Orton is replacing Eddie Guerrero who died about ten days before this. Shawn vs. Randy gets things going and it’s a very slow opening with both guys feeling the other out.

Orton gets thing going by slapping Shawn so Shawn literally slaps Orton down to the mat. Three times in about 30 seconds, Shawn takes Orton to the mat with a headlock, Orton grabs a headscissors to counter, and Shawn escapes. Randy charges into a boot in the corner but slams Shawn down to take over again. The match is starting slow but the bickering from the commentators is funny stuff, as they’re taking this rivalry personally.

Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.

Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.

A gorilla press drop puts Rey down again and here’s Kane who misses an elbow. Mysterio starts speeding things up and gets two off a standing moonsault. Kane comes up with a very easy counter by kicking a charging Rey in the face. Off to a bearhug as this is the longest segment of the match so far. Rey fights out of it and slides between Kane’s legs to make the tag to Batista.

Big Dave gets in some shots but the bandages all over his arm and chest are a target for Kane. Kane gets in a shot and everything breaks down, allowing Batista to hit a spinebuster on Kane for the elimination. Big Show chokeslams Batista for a very close two but Kane and Big Show double chokeslam Batista to put him out. JBL immediately tries the Clothesline on Show but gets grabbed by the throat. JBL kicks Show low, but gets caught jumping off the middle rope. That’s freaking SCARY power by Show. Show superkicks Orton down and LAUNCHES Rey into the corner.

Orton guillotines Show into the Clothesline from JBL who tags….Mysterio? The 619 sets up the RKO which sets up another Clothesline which sets up a seated senton from Rey for the elimination. Cool sequence here as the team all went after Show to get rid of him. Show would DESTROY Rey on a special Smackdown to get revenge. Shawn goes after JBL on the floor and gets thrown away in a fallaway slam.

To recap, it’s Mysterio, JBL and Orton vs. Shawn, Carlito and Masters. It’s Masters vs. Rey now with Masters getting two after sending Mysterio into the corner. Off to Carlito for a legdrop and chinlock for a few moments. Mysterio fights up and makes a blind tag to JBL who ENDS Carlito with a Clothesline to make it 3-2. Masters and JBL slug it out a bit but Rey tags himself in. JBL kicks Chris in the face to give his teammate an advantage, setting up a 619 and the springboard legdrop to take out Masters.

So it’s Shawn vs. Rey/Orton/JBL and Shawn is STILL down on the floor from the fallaway slam. Mysterio starts with Shawn and things go faster. Rey hits the 619 to send Shawn across the ring, but the West Coast Pop jumps right into the superkick ala Shelton Benjamin for the elimination. JBL comes in and tries the Clothesline but gets superkicked down AGAIN to make it Orton vs. Shawn. There were about fifteen seconds between the two pins.

The RKO and superkick both miss so Shawn dives on Orton on the floor to take him out. The fans want Taker who was promised to be here tonight. There are the forearm and superkick followed by some clotheslines. The top rope elbow hits Randy but Shawn can’t cover. JBL is still at ringside for some reason and he grabs a chair. Shawn loads up the superkick again but JBL shoves down the outside referee and misses a chair shot. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was a direct copy of Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff from two years ago, even down to the final participants, but the results were a bit inverted. Here, the part before the solo Shawn part was better but Shawn’s solo part wasn’t as good. Also, Batista running in was better than JBL’s chair stuff here. It’s still probably a better match overall, mainly due to the better opening part.

The low level Smackdown guys come out to put Orton on their shoulders…..and there’s a gong. We’ve got lights, we’ve got chanting, we’ve got druids carrying a casket, and a Dead Man coming out of said casket. Taker walks into the ring and beats up some jobbers as the roster bails. Orton is scared to death to end the show. Hell in a Cell for these two next month.

Overall Rating: B. This show is pretty much never talked about other than occasionally the main event and that’s a shame. This is an entertaining and solid show all around with the only bad match being a battle of the GM’s, and even that only runs six minutes. You have a bloodbath in HHH vs. Flair, a fun main event with entertaining commentary and some solid wrestling all around. Nothing is great, but if you’ve got two hours and forty five minutes to spare, check this out as it’s quality stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

Redo: C-

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B+

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

Redo: C

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s all about brand supremacy here as the main event and the only match with a good build this year is Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. What does that actually gain us? Absolutely nothing, but it’s the best we can come up with so there we are. Continuing that theme we also have Teddy Long vs. Eric Bischoff. Oh that’s going to be awful isn’t it. In some real wrestling we have in the Raw main event John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Now we’re getting somewhere.

This was a weird time for the company as there’s just not a lot going on right now and they’re just kind of going through the motions. Cena and Batista are the top dogs on their respective shows but there’s just nothing that’s a spark for the company right now which is a trend that would continue for a few more years after this.

TNA is starting to get its footing but it’s far from a major deal in case you three TNA fans were wondering. That was random I know but this opening paragraph was way too short.

Don’t you just hate it when you run out of things to say and you just have to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing at all when it’s clear that the person talking is some moron that has nothing else to say but beating around the bush and trying to fill up space in a page because he’s not intelligent enough to have anything else to say about something he’s reviewing on a website like WrestleZone which should be about wrestling but isn’t always? Yeah I hate that too. Let’s do this.

There is one major thing that happened recently as Eddie Guerrero passed away two weeks before this show. I’ve always thought he was both overrated and gets far to much hype, but he was certainly a great talent and could wrestle with anyone and it was sad to lose him, especially when he was allegedly going to win the world title again before this show.

Again, the video is just painfully generic. It’s just a voiceover guy talking about survival and clips of the feuds. The only highlight is a single shot of taker who was returning tonight. Once we’re in the arena we find that it’s Styles on commentary which is a nice change of pace. Not saying he’s better or worse than Ross, but when you do so many of these in a row it’s nice to hear a different voice.

This was a time when for whatever reason we had three announcers for Raw which is of course overkill. Lawler either slips up or makes a sex joke by saying return your flight attendants to their upright positions. No one laughed but they didn’t react either so they either didn’t get it or didn’t notice.

They talk about how Raw will beat Smackdown which is fine. We go to the Spanish guys and then over to Cole and Tazz. For some reason this made me laugh. It was like the Spanish guys were just randomly thrown in there with no rhyme or reason. Stuff like that amuses me.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match 1 in a best of 7 series for the US Title which was vacant due to a double pin between these two. The series wound up being Benoit vs. Orton because Booker got hurt so once Orton won the last match Booker got the title because that makes perfect sense right? These two traded the title back and forth like four times in about eight months which was just kind of stupid but whatever.

The whole idea of a series is stupid as well for one simple reason: why should we care about the first few matches? These don’t mean anything and nothing is going to be decided here, so why should we watch? Sharmell gets her own entrance and she is just painful to listen to. Something feels different about this show from last year which is a good thing. It feels bigger I guess you could say.

We start with a weird looking spot where Booker tries for a slam but can’t do it and it turns into a half suplex half powerslam. That was just odd. They mention that the second match will be on Tuesday at the Smackdown Special. That show was a disgrace for two reasons. First of all it was just flat out awful from a wrestling standpoint.

Second, there was a big spot where Eddie’s lowrider was blown with I think Big Show in it. This was sixteen days after Eddie died. Seriously? If you just have to use that for an angle, wait awhile would you?

Booker does some sweet looking stuff to get out of a test of strength. His in ring stuff really is overlooked. Booker gets an abdominal stretch and Benoit starts shaking his hips for some reason which looks very odd indeed. Benoit is getting dominated for the most part here, which is fine because he’s great at selling.

I’ll never get the point in announcers mentioning necks being surgically repaired. Wouldn’t that imply that they’re stronger than before? Are we really supposed to believe that a wrestler’s neck is still that weak even a year or so after they came back from the injury? Benoit gets a short comeback with one of those awesome Germans but Booker takes him down with a kick that was sweet looking. This has been a solid match.

Booker gets caught in an insane looking leg drag but avoids the Sharpshooter. After the triple Germans, Benoit goes for the headbutt but Booker stops him on the top. In a sequence that is very short but that I like, Benoit knocks him back down and goes for the headbutt anyway. See, while it seems pointless, it adds a bit more action to the match and got the fans into it just a tiny bit more. That’s what makes a match even better: adding that little extra bit.

Benoit could have just come off with the heabutt and missed to set up the finish, but instead we get an extra ten to fifteen seconds of action which got the crowd going a bit more. The more you can draw the fans in, the better the match is going to seem. If a match is weak (this one isn’t) that can be covered up by the crowd being into it. If a match is good (like this one) the crowd being into it means that the thing is a success on both levels.

Anyway, Benoit misses the headbutt and Booker gets a roll up with his feet on the bottom rope for the pin. Now wait a minute. How would the bottom rope help you? Isn’t the point of using the ropes to add more leverage to the pin by making you have to shove up a slope? With the bottom rope it’s just balanced out evenly.

Why am I wasting my time thinking about this? That ending was kind of weak but whatever. To further the stupidity, Sharmell grabs his feet and pulls down. Wouldn’t that pull Booker away from Benoit?

Rating: B. This was very solid. It’s not great but it’s very good. It was intense throughout other than the submission holds in the middle and it had time to develop. I’m not wild on the ending, but other than that I had no problems here. These two can work very well together when given the time as they were here, so who am I to complain? This was good but can someone shoot Sharmell for me please?

Bischoff is in the back warming up and Vince walks up. He wishes him luck and Bischoff says tonight he’s going to screw Cena, thereby making it about as obvious as possible that Cena will retain. Why do they insist on making so many Montreal references? They did it in WCW and the company died because they couldn’t let it go. Even after the mess that was Starrcade 97 they did it over and over again and it just never worked at all.

Also, they tried so hard to make Cena vs. Bischoff the next Austin vs. McMahon and it just failed. Actually failed isn’t the right word. It just didn’t live up to what it was supposed to be, which is fine because they’re inferior talents to what came before them. Also, since it had been done already there was no real reason to think this would be better which aren’t Cena and Bischoff’s faults at all. Anyway, Cena walks up and makes a gay joke to get Bischoff to leave.

Vince and Cena talk for a bit which when you think about it isn’t a pairing you see together that often. Vince actually says what’s up my nigger to Cena. WOW. Even Cena looks taken aback by this as do Booker and Sharmell. That was just out there to say the least.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Melina is part of MNM here along with Mercury and Nitro (now known as John Morrison). They’re the Smackdown tag champions and did the thing where they hung the belts from their belts so they hung between their legs. That’s original at least. This is inter promotional so Tazz and Styles are the commentators. ECW would be back in June with these two being the commentators.

Despite the fact that Melina looks better with all black hair instead of the blonde she has going here, she looks good in her signature entrance. Melina had MNM kidnap Trish on Raw so she could ask for a title shot because that makes perfect sense. Melina more or less is wrestling in a tiny bikini so this match has gone up in ratings for me. Mickie James, the newcomer, is with Trish.

Very soon she would go into the sexy crazy stalker mode with Trish, leading to her heel turn which was awesome. Trish starts with a spear and some punches that land squarely on the mat. Melina hits the floor but Trish hits a cross body from the top to the floor to take out all three heels. When did Lita get bigger and dye her hair red? Melina is a complete rookie here. Wow has she really been around for four years?

They botch a spot but if nothing else they make it work. It was supposed to be a headscissors but it turned into a kick to the face. It still worked though. Joey says Trish wins on paper. Tazz wants to see the paper. That’s actually kind of funny. Melina and Mickie fight on the floor while MNM goes for the Snapshot which was an elevated DDT on Trish. They get ejected for it though so that sucks. The belts are just making me laugh. This is intense if nothing else.

DANG Melina can hit the high notes. This is a quite good match actually. Melina actually counters Stratusfaction twice which isn’t bad. Mickie interferes to help Trish, leading to a kick and a top rope bulldog that missed but again they improvise slightly with Trish grabbing Melina’s hair on the way down.

It looked bad but it could have been worse, but it ends the match. On the replay they do a great job of covering the botch at the end by showing it from the back where you can’t tell how bad it was. That’s well done.

Rating: B. This was quite good. They beat the heck out of each other and on the two noticeable botches they improvised, especially the earlier one. Melina was clearly talented and not just another pretty face that thought she would try wrestling for a paycheck. Trish was her usual solid self here, so I have few complaints.

It was one of the better Diva matches that I can remember so that’s a perk. The looks didn’t hurt things either. This is what the Divas need to shoot for: hot women but good wrestling to back it up. I’d watch more of this.

Buy this PPV of the DVD of Jake Roberts.

We recap HHH vs. Flair which was a good feud I thought. More or less HHH decided that Flair was too far gone to mean anything anymore so he beat him up. Flair wound up winning the Intercontinental Title of all things which I actually liked as it made the belt seem prestigious. They had a cage match at Taboo Tuesday for the belt and Flair won clean in a great old school style match. That leads us to here which is last man standing.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Like I said Flair is IC champion here but it’s non title. Trips jumps him in the aisle to start us off. Flair is beaten on pretty badly at first since his robs is still on. He comes back though as the old man powers will never die. They haven’t actually been in the ring at this point. Scratch that they have but it was for about twenty seconds. I’ll give Flair this: he can sell as well as anyone in history even at this age.

That’s why he was so great for so long: he could tell a story as well as anyone in the world. HHH works over his back which is fine. He needs to lose the mustache though. It just flat out doesn’t work on him. We go hardcore as HHH pulls out a screwdriver. Dang Flair is bleeding badly. Granted I think that happens is someone stares at him for more than four seconds. Has anyone been in as many last man standing matches as HHH?

He’s been in a ton of them over the years with at least three that I can remember against Orton alone. I’ve always loved that red blonde hair on Flair. They finally mention that it’s HHH’s lifelong goal to break Flair’s record, which depending on what you look at should be around 22 or 23. If TNA has their way Angle will pass that in about a week. Edge is likely going to get close to it as well, but I’d take almost any of Flair’s runs over any two or three of Edge’s combined.

They’re out on the floor again with Flair finally taking some control. I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here, which should be fine. Coach offers commentary simply saying what number the referee is up to. Good to see why he’s paid the big money. HHH gets on the mic because three commentators in one match just aren’t enough. He yells at Flair to get up and in the next breath says to stay down if he knows what’s good for him.

No wonder Flair never would retire. He was too confused from hanging out with HHH all those years. Flair grabs the ball of HHH for no apparent reason. Is he competing with Stephanie or something now? HHH gets control back because I guess he likes being the dominant one.

I’ll be pausing for a few seconds here to get the image of a submissive Stephanie out of my mind. Ok I think I’m good now. We hit the tables and HHH gets countered through the table as he always is. Both guys are more or less dead at this point. The table practically exploded too and it looked great. Both guys are up though and we keep going.

We’re back in the ring for likely the longest stretch of the match which is a nice change of pace. For some reason we have to get another replay of HHH going through the table. We get it already people. A chair comes into play and both men are down, or at least that’s what Styles says. Call me cracy, but Flair looks up to me. Flair continues making sense by going for the legs. He pulls the balls of HHH into the post as he seems slightly obsessed with them.

Lawler mentions that he hopes HHH isn’t planning on going out tonight. I certainly wouldn’t. If I had a wife like Stephanie I wouldn’t be going to work either so there we are. Flair bites HHH for the second time in the match, this time on the leg. Style infers that the biting could mess up the quad again. Oh come on now. Flair goes to town on the legs in a very slow old school style plus weapons. That’s not a bad idea actually.

The figure four makes HHH tap but it means nothing here. I love how he’ll give up in a match where it means nothing, but that’s a different story. They’re both back up now with HHH knocking Flair back down. HHH brings the steps in and for some reason that only Flair knows, he runs right at HHH and rams his head into the steps. That’s just stupid. This time HHH runs and Flair hits a drop toe hold to slam HHH into the steps. This is like a cartoon or something.

I know there’s not a lot being said here but a lot of this is either one or both guys laying there for a ten count which somehow takes about 30 seconds each. HHH gets a Pedigree to a big pop which means either the people are tired of this match or they like HHH. My guess is the former, because HHH is such a masterful heel that no one can hate him. I mean he’s the best of all time at everything right?

Flair of course gets up and takes another Pedigree but of course he gets up, this time throwing out a double bird to HHH. This just gets him beaten up more so he’s obviously the face. You very rarely see a heel being defiant and getting his beating because of it. The third Pedigree connects as this is complete overkill.

We get it: Flair is tough. There’s no need to kill the credibility of the Pedigree to prove this. A sledgehammer shot to I think the shoulder or something like that ends this. The fans are actually into this which is a good sign. I guess the reactions earlier on were for greatness, even though this wasn’t that great. It was good, but not great.

Rating: B-. This was very old school in nature so if you don’t like slower paced stuff, you’ll hate this. Both guys bring in a lot of psychology here which is exactly what they were supposed to do. The leg stuff worked quite well despite HHH not selling them at all at the end of the match. This was good at times but there were parts that just kind of sucked too.

The three Pedigrees were WAY too much and the fact that it took nearly half an hour to get rid of Flair is a bit of a stretch despite how great Flair is. Some people would love this while others will hate it, which to me is a good thing. It means that it’s not just a run of the mill match but rather something that gets an opinion out of people, which to me is always good.

After about three minutes of replays we see Flair being stretchered out of the arena.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD, which was quite good actually.

Team Smackdown says they have to make up for Batista’s injury while Bradshaw sounds stupid. This was a waste of three minutes of my life.

Edge and Lita come out to say that the Cutting Edge will be debuting soon. He was hurt at the moment so this was their way to keep him on camera which really is a great idea. Edge goes after Dmitri Young who is a hometown baseball guy in the front row. He and Lita insult Young for about five minutes with nothing of note to say about it. Yep, that was a waste of time.

We recap Kurt vs. Cena which was something like this: Angle wants a title show and has his own referee that’s going to cheat to make him win. That’s all you’ve got to know here.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

This both has the big match feeling and doesn’t have it. I’m leaning towards no because of the spinner belt and Daivari as the referee. Angle looks far better in the darker colored singlet. The same can be said of Cena if you change the word singlet for long shorts. Angle naturally immediately starts on the leg as we have LOUD dueling chants. They’re out of sync though so it takes a trained ear to get what’s being said.

It’s nice hearing Styles speaking with an interest in the product. Ross and Lawler rarely sounded interested in matches and while Styles isn’t as great as he’s built up to be by any means, he’s awesome at times. Dang we’ve been going for about three minutes and those chants literally haven’t stopped. They’re quieting a bit but by no means are they stopping. If this was in front of a Wrestlemania sized crowd with these kinds of fans….good night that would be amazing.

These two could main event a Mania as well, and given Angle it’s not completely out of the question to have that happen. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Cena gets a cover and Daivari just stands there and we have a story. Ankle lock is hooked, finally called the Angle Lock like it should have been many times before, and the referee is all over it. He finally gets the ropes and of course the hold isn’t broken.

He gets out himself and slaps the referee (I’ll be referring to him as that because Daivari requires that I think as I type) and Angle makes the diving save to stop the disqualification. Oh for those fans that might be new, Daivari is now known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in TNA. The referee gets bumped by Cena and we go to the floor. Angle pops his hips on a sweet belly to belly overhead suplex to Cena. That was always an awesome move.

A real referee comes down and we now have a far more normal match. They go to the mat for awhile and it occurs to me that Angle can get away with far more boring moves on the mat such as just basic grapples because of his background. When he uses something like a front facelock I buy it a lot more because he’s an Olympian. That just goes to show you what a real background can do for someone. Cena can do a great job of fighting back.

There’s just something about him that makes you want to watch him which is something that very few people can accomplish. There go those chants again. Cena starts the comeback as I’m starting to wonder where Daivari is. He didn’t get hit by anything huge. Cena just knocked Angle into him and he’s been down at least five minutes. Angle apparently needs glasses because he can’t see Cena. Man maybe he really does as he clotheslines the heck out of the referee and low blows Cena.

A third referee comes out and for some reason has NO problem with Angle laying out his colleague. Now wait a minute. As they mentioned earlier, it’s standard operating procedure for a new referee to run out in case the regular one gets knocked out. That means that someone, and I’d assume the referee that ran down, has to be watching the match in the back right? If not how would he know that he was needed in the ring? If that’s the case, why couldn’t he disqualify Angle?

This is what overbooking a match does to it: it brings up a lot of loopholes that aren’t needed. After a few minutes of good stuff, Angle misses a picture perfect moonsault. I mean that was lucha libre quality. Angle gets out of the FU and then hits the third referee and rolls Daivari, who is still out cold, back in.

A fourth referee, this one from Smackdown, comes out as Cena DDTs Daivari for no apparent reason as he was already out cold. With four people laying in the ring (Cena and three referees), Cena plays possum and Angle walks into the FU for the pin. I want more of this!

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a situation where the extra booking was 100% not needed. I was completely buying into this match which is something that very rarely happens to me. There’s a natural connection here that is very clear and it worked incredibly well. I don’t get why there needed to be the gimmick with the referees and things like that. A lot of the times less is more and this is certainly one of those times. I’d love to see these guys go at it even more.

Watch this really bad show that we’re calling a special!

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Eric is of course dressed in his karate stuff, because anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Eric Bischoff is a great fighter. I will never get over Schiavone saying that at Starrcade 97. Teddy is with Palmer Cannon, who was a very short term character that was a representative of the network. He served absolutely zero purpose and I’ve never been sure what the point of having him was.

Granted to be fair I missed about a year and a half of Smackdown due to not having the station and just not being interested in it. I would always catch the spoilers though so I at least knew what was going on. The words to describe how I feel going into this match haven’t been invented yet. No good can come from this at all. It’s like the book in Hocus Pocus. To top it off, Cole and Coach are your commentators. I just had to stop the video for the sake of laughter.

Coach: “Eric Bischoff is a mixed martial artist.” I don’t care or know if that’s true or not but it’s the funniest image I can think of. Can you imagine him against Brock or GSP? Cole starts the Did You Know tradition with a stat that I’m not going to remember in a few seconds. Yep it’s gone. The bell rang 45 seconds ago. In that time they’ve avoided contact with each other, Teddy has posed on the ropes and then he danced a bit. This is riveting stuff!

Cole calls Bischoff Mr. Miyagi. The one liners for this match are going to take up a full page. After about a minute and a half I think we made contact but I’m not sure. Teddy dances more than Shawn Michaels imitating Shane. Cannon gets on the apron for no apparent reason and imitates the things that Long has been doing as Bischoff chokes Long with his belt. Why am I watching this? Oh there’s two referees, one from Raw one from Smackdown because this needs more people.

We have our second boring chant as we’re still doing the choking thing. Bischoff changes the pace a bit by using the world’s worst sleeper. Cannon gets up again and Long uses the distraction of both referees (since a guy named Palmer Cannon is obviously a major threat) to take his shoe off and hit Eric with it to break up the “hold”. Wouldn’t the shoe be legal? It’s not a foreign object unless it was made in Japan or something like that so I don’t get it.

Eric takes over again with a Kung Fu YEAH and a Karate Chop! Give me a break I have to make jokes like those to keep myself awake during this mess. We’re on boring chant number four and the Boogeyman’s music hits. He had only been around for a few weeks at this point and nothing was known about him.

The referees go up the ramp to stop him and naturally he’s behind Eric. I love how a guy like Boogeyman used a freaking pumphandle slam. Papa Shango used a shoulderbreak. I’m not sure which is dumber. Teddy gets the pin with ease and dances a bit more. He really is a tiny man. Ok so he dances a lot.

Rating: O, as in oh I can’t think about this anymore. Give me anything else please!

Armageddon proimo.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring as the Smackdown guys cheer them on. The Raw guys do the same thing. The backstory here is simple. There was a special called WWE Homecoming where there was a Smackdown match scheduled but Bischoff canceled it because it wasn’t up to his standards. The feud sprang from there. Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that Eddie has just passed away and Orton is his replacement and Batista was injured by Show and Kane.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show
Smackdown: Batista, Rey Mysterio, Lashley, Randy Orton, JBL

All ten guys get their own entrances because we need to kill about ten minutes or so. To further the stupidity of this we’re having all five commentators here. HBK and Orton start us off. On both shows everyone has been attacking everyone so I’ll be withholding the so and so attacked so and so on so and so show. Even Styles and Tazz are arguing. They point out that Orton has been the sole survivor in the previous two Survivor Series.

Again, this is what announcers are supposed to do. Rey just looks out of place on the apron with all of these big guys. Orton and HBK do nothing but punch/chop each other for a few minutes as Tazz and the rest of the announcers have their stupid fights. For some reason Chris Masters is in the main event here in something that I just don’t get. Lashley comes in and gets a great pop. Lashley is about as green as possible here with next to zero experience.

He has the amateur background to fall back on though along with insane power so he can use both of those to avoid any actual wrestling. Is there a reason why amateur guys use a ton of suplexes? Angle, Lesnar and the Steiners were all suplex machines as well as all American wrestlers. Why is that? They all use belly to belly overhead suplexes. I’ve never gotten that. Is that supposed to be something that’s used in amateur wrestling, because I’ve never seen that done in the Olympics.

After he dominates Carlito (he hit him with the Dominator so he literally did), he goes for it on Shawn but Kane grabs him from the apron and hits a chokeslam to allow HBK to pin him. I guess that’s a smart move as it keeps Lashley from looking weak because cheating beat him. That’s about as good as you could have done there I suppose. Rey comes in after Lashley as HBK is still in there.

Kane comes in for Raw and Rey of course dominates him because Kane can’t look good in a big match ever. Kane and Show are Raw tag champions at the time too which I forgot to mention. Kane just about kills Rey with a boot. That was awesome looking. Tazz is just ripping into Coach on commentary.

It’s funny but it’s distracting as all five guys are fighting and not a thing is being said about the match. I’ve always found that to be incredibly disrespectful. It shouldn’t be about the announcers but about the wrestlers, period.

Batista comes in and after more double teaming he takes out Kane with a spinebuster. He gets up and walks into a Big Show chokeslam which doesn’t take him out. The double one from Kane and Big Show does though so we’re down to 4-3. JBL comes in next and in a flat out SCARY show of strength, Big Show catches him coming off the top rope. That’s ridiculous.

Soon thereafter, the whole Smackdown team attacks Show, beginning with a Clothesline From JBL, a 619, an RKO (Massive pop for that), a second Clothesline From JBL and all of that doesn’t keep him down, but Rey jumps on him and that’s enough for a 3. This is why I hate Rey. He’s one of my all time favorites but at times he makes me want to rip my hair out. Why should that pin Big Show when he was almost up from all of those finishers?

That just doesn’t make any sense. JBL destroys his future employee on the floor while we try to figure out who Rey is supposed to be fighting and it’s Masters. Carlito comes in and slows down everything with a chinlock that goes on far too long. HBK is still down on the floor from the fall away slam that JBL hit him with. Rey finally gets up and makes a blind tag to JBL. With Rey distracting him, Bradshaw hits one of the best Clotheslines From JBL I’ve ever seen.

He half kills Carlito and gets the easy pin. He proceeds to beat the holy tar out of Masters, thus continuing to prove his worth. It’s Rey in now as HBK is still down meaning that the hopes of Raw rest on the shoulders of Chris Masters. I don’t even need to make fun of that one. Rey Drops the Dime on him and makes it 3-1. Styles has barely talked the whole match.

Shawn is thrown back in and Rey hits the 619. He goes for something that wasn’t clear but takes a less great looking version of the ending Shawn and Shelton did to take him out. Here comes JBL and there goes JBL with another kick. Bradshaw was in there less than ten seconds. We’re down to Orton and Michaels. We hit the floor but Shawn launches himself over the ropes as we’re doing the same thing we did back in 2003 which had far better drama and emotion to it but whatever.

The fans chant WE WANT TAKER who had been promised for the show and we have less than ten minutes to go. Shawn initiates his ending sequence to a rather weak pop if that’s what you want to call it. The elbow hits but gets two. JBL is still here and swings at Shawn with a chair. Michaels kicks it in him face but turns around to set up the RKO for the pin. The Smackdown locker room hits the ring and have Orton on their collective shoulders and there’s the inevitable gong.

This was the fall after Orton had feuded with Taker. It’s the expensive Taker return, complete with druids and a casket. A HUGE lightning bolt hits the casket which has been set up and it’s lit on fire. Taker eventually kicks it open as this is seeing vaguely familiar.

Cole then points out that Orton had Taker in a coffin and lit it on fire, which is the same story that was done seven years prior with Kane. I remember that angle and the first was light years better. Taker come to the ring and beats up the Smackdown jobbers before staring down Orton to end the show. They would have a Hell in a Cell match at Armageddon to end their feud.

Rating: B. This was good enough, but Masters and Carlito being there just didn’t work for me. Lashley was a rookie and the ending was a rip off of a far better one a few years earlier. Shawn was the only one on his team worth having so putting him in the end was the best idea. This show lost a lot with Eddie not being there and the week of buildup that they lost but that was an issue for the whole show.

The match was good, but the ending leaves a bit to be desired. Smackdown won, but so what? It means nothing really, and that’s where this match falls apart for me. The wrestling is good and it feels like a big match when you’re watching it, but at the end you realize that nothing happened at all.

Overall Rating: B. This was actually a really good show. When I’m giving the overall grade I go back and look at the card and the grades I gave them but that’s not the main thing I go on. This is a great example of why that’s the case. The matches individually other than the GM match were all very good with nothing at all not above watchable. However, there’s just something about this show that I can’t put my finger on. Something keeps this show from being great.

Maybe it’s the lack of build which wasn’t anything they could help due to Eddie, but it still takes away from the show. The wrestling here is great but the emotion isn’t there. Maybe their thoughts were on Eddie or something like that, but there’s just something missing from this show and it keeps it from being excellent. Certainly recommended, but that X factor isn’t there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

One Night Stand 2005
Date: June 12, 2019
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Mick Foley

Oh boy this is a different one. So back in 2004, WWE put out an outstanding DVD about ECW called the Rise and Fall of ECW. It was one of the best looks back at a company that was certainly influential and had a heck of a cult following that you could ask for and made the fans want to see something more. Therefore, this show was born as a celebration of ECW’s history and legacy (which certainly exists and in many cases is a positive one). That leaves the big question: can WWE manage to screw this up? Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, a little background on my history with ECW. I did not watch most of it as it aired and had no connection to it when the Alliance was formed in 2001. It came on Friday nights at like 4am for me and I might have seen one show ever. The only thing I remember from a Hardcore TV was Joey Styles talking about how some guy named Tommy Dreamer had pinned Raven to end their feud. I knew Raven from WCW and they kept playing clips of Bam Bam Bigelow, who I knew from being a WWF fan.

Therefore, this isn’t going to have quite the sentimentality for me as it will for some others and there are going to be references that I miss or don’t get in the first place. It just wasn’t something I grew up on as I was a bit too young for it, though I have seen a lot of since then and know more than I did when I last saw this show. Let’s get….uh….back to it I guess.

The show looks like an old ECW show and the fans are out in force with their chants. The venue is great too as I can’t imagine WWE running the bingo hall.

Joey Styles gets a big introduction as they’re already off to a great start as you can’t do ECW without him. He gets choked up before the first OH MY GOD and brings out Mick Foley, thankfully in a Cactus Jack shirt. That’s way better than having Cole or Lawler out there and the fans will show him respect.

We get the ECW on TNN intro, which is still one of the best theme songs ever.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Jericho

And that’s Lionheart Chris Jericho, complete with the old WCW style gear. We even get some highlights from their ECW careers during the entrances. Well at least Lance does but he was a bigger deal in ECW. They start with the technical stuff that you had to expect and trade armdrags into a standoff. Lance’s manager Dawn Marie is affectionately (?) referred to as a crack w**** and it’s Jericho chopping him down.

A baseball slide puts Storm on the floor as Joey rants about the required floor mats. Jericho’s dive off the apron lands on the barricade and it’s Storm hitting a nice dropkick for two back inside. A delayed vertical suplex sets up a quickly broken chinlock so Storm goes to the first right hand. Storm tries to dive off the top but gets dropkicked out of the air for the first….oh you know what they’re chanting. Jericho hits an enziguri (Foley: “EN-ZU-GOO-REE!” Joey: “Nicely done Mickles!”) and the fans chant for Chris Candido.

Storm can’t hit a Jerry Lynn cradle piledriver so he settles for two off a superkick instead. He gets tossed off the top though and Jericho’s top rope elbow to the jaw is good for the same. The fans rant about John Cena as Storm gets the half crab. That’s broken up and Jericho knocks him down to set up the Lionsault.

Storm gets the knees up so Jericho steps to the side and grabs the Walls, only to have Jason and Justin Credible come out. With the two of them dispatched, Storm kicks Jericho right into a kendo stick shot from Storm for the pin in what Storm said might have been his last match. Joey isn’t sure about that but it wouldn’t be ECW without violence for the sake of violence.

Rating: C+. They had to find a way out of that one and it’s not like Jericho is ever going to be hurt by a loss. Storm cheating to win was a surprise and makes a bit of sense in a way, as he is going with the Impact Players side, which makes a bit more sense than the Triple Threat associate stuff, especially given Chris Candido passing away a month and a half before the show.

Post match the Impact Players post and Jericho gets a nice Lionheart chant.

With the fun opening out of the way, Pitbull Gary Wolfe gives us the roll call of ECW wrestlers who have passed away, which is far too long of a list when the promotion was open four and a half years before this show. The fans aren’t sure if that should be a CANDIDO or ECW chant.

Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

These three fought about a hundred times in a year and as usual, this is elimination rules. Tajiri has Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister with him, Guido has the entire FBI, save for Big Sal, while Super Crazy….well he has no friends. Guido is the first one sent outside so Crazy and Tajiri can chop it out, only to have Guido take Crazy’s place. That means a Fujiwara armbar until Crazy comes back in for the save. Tony Mamaluke breaks up the dive though, allowing Guido to hit the Sicilian Slice.

They fight into the crowd with Crazy getting into the balcony for the huge moonsault (Joey: “O DIOS MIO!”) and the place goes coconuts again. Back in and Tajiri grabs a quickly broken Tarantula on Crazy and it’s time for the interference. Mikey’s Whippersnapper to Guido lets Tajiri get the first fall. Tajiri gets two off a tornado DDT but Crazy kicks him down to set up the triple moonsaults. Mikey breaks up the third and a little miscommunication starts up the YOU F***** UP chants. Crazy knocks him right back down though and hits the top rope moonsault for the win.

Rating: C+. Very short form version of the crazy stuff that these guys could do, though as you can tell, the winners and losers are not the point here whatsoever. Crazy’s moonsaults always looked good and they got in the big dive out of the balcony for old times’ sake. I would get used to hearing that one on this show and it’s exactly the point of this show.

Here are some classic clips of the early years of the promotion. These are the days that made the promotion famous as opposed to the time where they were open to the masses and you can see how it became such a big deal.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psicosis

Psicosis works on a wristlock to start because we’re supposed to believe that’s where this match is going. Rey armdrags him out of the corner and climbs the shoulders for two off a victory roll. The fans implore Psicosis to put his mask back on and….well he is a rather odd looking human. We hit the sleeper on Rey and the fans are NOT pleased as they know what they want here.

Thankfully Psicosis gets the hint and takes it outside, with Rey being draped over the barricade for a top rope legdrop to the back. A running corner dropkick misses though and Rey hits a pop up X Factor for two of his own. Psicosis misses a charge into the post and falls over the barricade, meaning it’s the big top rope seated senton into the crowd. Back in and the 619 gets booed out of the building (Joey: “And he’s got free minutes on nights and weekends!”), followed by the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C. This had some moments of the stuff they could do but it felt more like a regular match at times instead of the lucha match that these two are capable of doing. Rey can still do the big dives and all that jazz while Psicosis only did a thing or two. It’s not bad, but there is only so much you can get out of a six minute match.

The Smackdown Anti-ECW Crusaders arrive.

More classic clips. The more I see of Bill Alfonso, the more I appreciate what a simple yet awesome gimmick he really was.

Joel Gertner shows up in the Crusaders’ balcony for some rhyming and….then JBL throws him out in about three seconds. Kurt Angle goes on a rant about how much he hates ECW and how stupid the fans are, having to talk over their rather rude chanting. JBL goes on about how stupid the fans are as well (“You email your buddy and say I’m hardcore and he emails you back and says I’m hardcore too!”), talking about how if you bleed, you’re ECW. He knows that he’s the reason people are buying this show….and here’s Rob Van Dam, still recovering from his knee surgery, to interrupt.

Rob thinks this is awesome and wishes Alfonso, next to him with the whistle, had gotten a job with WWE a long time ago. Van Dam goes on a rant about how sick he is of having the WWE wrestlers shoved down your throats. He’s shooting from the hip tonight and taking you back to a time before all he could say was “whatever” and “cool”. He misses the days of being TV Champion and runs through some catchphrases, saying the fans respected him back in the day.

Then he suggested an ECW pay per view to Vince and they wouldn’t even need a storyline or the lights on. The date was set….and then he had to have knee surgery. This is worse than missing Booker T.’s wedding, the tour of Japan or Wrestlemania. After the longest promo of Van Dam’s career, Rhyno runs in (making a one night only return after being fired in April) for the Gore but the lights go out and I think you know where this is going.

Sabu vs. Rhyno

Rhyno shoulders him down to start fast but gets a chair bounced off his head. They head outside for another chair shot but Rhyno breaks up the moonsault through the table. A running kick to the head has Sabu in more trouble but he’s right back with a hurricanrana. Sabu’s slingshot legdrop gets two and there’s Air Sabu in the corner.

Rhyno trips him up though and Sabu goes face first into the chair. The Gore hits the referee for some reason and it’s Van Dam coming in for a chair to Rhyno’s head. The chair gets skateboarded into Rhyno’s face in the corner and it’s table time. Sabu Arabian Facebusters him through said table for the pin.

Rating: C-. Your mileage may vary on this one and that’s pretty normal for Sabu. I know he isn’t for everyone but they absolutely had to have him on a show like this. Rhyno coming back in for one night only was fine too as he was a big deal in the final year of ECW. It’s a shame that Van Dam couldn’t wrestle but at least he got to do something, because it wouldn’t have been right otherwise.

Al Snow blames Head for bringing in the Crusaders and we get more classic clips, mainly involving breaking stuff. Like people.

The Raw Crusaders arrive, with Joey being glad he didn’t bring his wife with Edge in the building.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie’s heelish sneer is still incredible. They go to the technical stuff to start (of course) as the fans talk about someone having herpes. Eddie can’t win the battle of the wrestling so it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Eddie hits a hard elbow to the face so Benoit lays in the chops, only to get poked in the eye. The fans are split as we hit the chinlock and Eddie’s nose is bleeding.

Benoit suplexes his way to freedom but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Eddie cracks him with a chair and hits a top rope superplex to put them both down for a bit. The frog splash misses though and Benoit hits his running clothesline to take over. This time it’s Benoit hitting a superplex for two of his own and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. The Swan Dive gets two more and the Crossface goes on for the tap.

Rating: B-. Shortened version of the match that these two are capable of having but it was still good stuff with the violence not being a factor for the most part. These are guys who could have a good match in their sleep and it’s great to see them getting to do it one more time. I can’t even get annoyed at Eddie losing because that’s not the point of this show.

Gertner comes back into the Crusaders’ balcony because….he really needs a job. He begs Bischoff to bring him on before being yelled at and thrown out again in a funny bit.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

This should make up for the violent quota. Joey erupts on Awesome for bailing on ECW back in 2000 with Foley sticking up for Awesome’s talent. Mike sends him outside for a suicide dive, with Joey saying it’s a shame he didn’t succeed in taking his own life. A hard chair shot to the head sends Awesome over the barricade (Joey: “NICELY DONE!”) with Foley suggesting that Awesome lost his power when he cut off the mullet.

Awesome hits a clothesline and leans a table up against the barricade, which can’t end well. The Awesome Bomb from the apron drops Tanaka through the table and on his head and an Awesome Splash gets two. Both guys get chairs and it’s three shots to the head to put Tanaka down…for about two seconds. Diamond Dust (always cool) drops awesome and a tornado DDT onto the chairs gets two. A top rope elbow with the chair gives Tanaka two more but Awesome is right back with a spear.

Awesome hits a top rope chair shot to the head and it’s time for a table as Joey and Foley take shots at Awesome’s WCW gimmicks. Fair play on that one. A superplex through the table is countered into a tornado DDT to give Tanaka two more and we cut to JBL talking about how that isn’t wrestling. Awesome takes him up for a super sitout Awesome Bomb for two, because ECW doesn’t know how to end a match. Another table is set up at ringside and it’s another Awesome Bomb over the top, followed by a slingshot splash for the pin on the floor.

Rating: B. Yeah this was fun, though the chair shots to the head are downright disturbing. They did what they were supposed to do here with both guys destroying the other all the way until the end. Awesome really should have been something else in WCW/WWF, or at least been given the chance to be something. Indeed he did sell out ECW, but how much of a high ground can that company take on financial matters?

Awesome has to be helped out.

Here’s Paul Heyman for the big speech and he’s not even trying to hide the tears on the way to the ring. He bows to the fans and soaks it all in, as he certainly deserves to do. To clarify, he isn’t crying but rather his eyes are watering because he was in the back smoking a joint with Van Dam.

Heyman thanks various people, including director Ron Buffone and the fans themselves as he sounds like he doesn’t know what to say. He was going to take the high road and just say thank you (Foley: “Don’t take the high road Paul.”)…..but he has something to say to the Crusaders. He’ll start with Bischoff, who has come to an ECW show instead of a WCW show.

Then hide your wives because Edge is here. Heyman has two words for him: Matt Freaking Hardy. The Crusaders decide that is three words in a funny reaction. Finally there’s JBL, who was WWE Champion for a year because HHH didn’t want to work Tuesdays. These were some great lines but the Crusaders laughing about them weakened things a bit. Still though, Heyman had to get in his big speech because this isn’t happening without him.

Dudley Boyz vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

I can’t think of a much better main event. You can see the emotions here and as much as I can’t stand Dreamer at times, he belongs in this spot. Sandman’s entrance is still one for the age with the full Enter Sandman as he goes through the arena with the fans singing the song. It was always cool back in the day and this is no exception, with this one probably being his best ever for the pure emotion. Thankfully commentary is smart enough to just let the moment sink in for the most part as they are silent for a good two or three minutes straight.

We’re ready to go (Foley: “That’s right we still have a match.”) but it’s the Blue World Order, sending Joey into hysterics. Joey sums them up perfectly by saying “if any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boat load of cash, this is it. And the best part is they couldn’t sue us because it’s a parody!” Stevie Richards has heard people about invading but you can’t do that without the BWO. They’re taking over and there’s a Stevie Kick to Sandman.

The beatdown is on until Kid Kash (Joey: “Mr. TNA: Total Nonstop Attitude!”) and the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks make the save, with chairs of course. Punches and chair shots ensue (Joey: “That’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV! Yeah I’m fired I know.” Foley: “There are some hideous looking human beings running around.”) until everyone heads outside, leaving Kash to hit the huge running springboard flip dive. The people not in the match leave so it’s time for some weapons. And then we get the opening bell, just for fun.

Bubba cracks Dreamer in the head with a metal sign and it’s time for the cheese grater. Dreamer is sliced open in a hurry, with the blood dripping down onto the mat. The middle rope backsplash misses but the belly to back neckbreaker takes Dreamer down. Sandman makes the save and Dreamer slices Bubba up a little bit, giving us one of my all time favorite lines of commentary from Joey: “You know I was going to say something classy like Dreamer wrestling here tonight is like Lou Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium, but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people.”

Sandman puts the ladder onto D-Von for the Rolling Rock but gets his head caved in by Bubba’s chair shot. Dreamer and Sandman grab stereo Figure Fours (Joey: “I’ll be d*****! Wrestling holds!”) but the Impact Players run in with barbed wire to break them up. Dreamer is COVERED in blood and it’s Francine coming in to kick him low. Beulah McGillicutty comes in for the catfight and a low blow to storm, setting up the big hug with the bloody dreamer. Joey: “Oh what a beautiful…sickening, bloody, graphic, sickening, nauseating moment that I never want my children to see.”

Tommy and Beulah hit DDTs on the Dudleys (in Bubba’s case it’s more falling down while Beulah grabs his head but fair enough) but Bubba gets all fired up and grabs a table. One heck of a cane shot to Sandman’s head sets up a double powerbomb through the table for two. There’s an old school 3D to Dreamer and it’s Spike Dudley as another table is brought out. Just for fun, let’s set the thing on fire. Joey: “They’re gonna throw us in jail.” Dreamer gets powerbombed through the fire and Bubba mercifully pins him to end the carnage.

Rating: B. Like the rating matters on this one. This wasn’t about the match or anything close to it really, but rather just getting the big names out there and doing one more ECW style match for the road. Joey kept emphasizing how much they love each other and that makes more sense as the show isn’t about storylines or anything close to them. This was a blast and the commentary alone helped make it work. It probably needed New Jack or something involving Raven, but for what we got, this was great.

Post match Sandman save Beulah from a 3D, asks for a beer, canes Spike in the head, and asks for a beer again. Cue glass shatter, with Steve Austin (ECW alumnus) in an XFL shirt of all things, and he wants the locker room to empty out for a beer bash. Before we drink though, Austin calls the Crusaders down here to the ring for a fight.

They get to the ring and, with Bischoff on commentary (Joey: “YOU WERE THE WORST GOD D*** PLAY BY PLAY MAN I HAVE EVER HEARD!”), it’s Tazz coming out to go after Angle. The fight is on with Tazz and Angle going to the floor for the Tazmission, all while JBL shoots on Blue Meanie, beating the fire out of him in what would probably be defined as a criminal attack. The ECW guys clear the ring with blood on JBL’s shirt and now it’s time to drink, with Austin wearing JBL’s cowboy hat.

Hold on though, as Austin would like Foley to bring Bischoff to the ring. Reality sets in for Bischoff in a hurry and with the Crusaders gone, plus a BANG BANG from Foley, he is carried to the ring. That means a 3D, a Swan Dive from Benoit and the 619 from Mysterio, all setting up a Stunner, to get rid of Bischoff, with the Dudleys carrying him out of the building. A lot of beer is consumed and Joey shouts ECW LIVES to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. What else do you want me to say? This was presented exactly as advertised: an ECW reunion with almost every major name in the promotion’s history getting to make an appearance. What mattered here was that it was a celebration of ECW and not a WWE show that incorporated ECW. Other than better equipment and production values, very little about this show felt like it was from WWE and that would have ruined the whole thing. This is one of my favorite shows ever as it feels like something special, which you never get in WWE. Check this out, though watch Rise and Fall first to get in the mood.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/04/one-night-stand-2005-one-of-my-favorite-shows-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 9, 2019
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things have gotten interesting all over again here in the form of the Draft, which saw Smackdown World Champion John Cena head over to Raw this week. That means things are going to be shaken up in a hurry and we’re going to need some new talent coming in here. That will be the case tonight and that could be a very good thing given how some stuff has gone around this place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Theodore Long is in the ring to get things going. He recaps the Draft and we see Cena going over to Raw to start the process of becoming the biggest star in the world. This means Smackdown doesn’t have a champion so here’s a very happy JBL, giving us a great deadpan glare from Long. JBL is willing to make Long’s job that much easier because he knows the locker room is nervous. Of course he doesn’t spend time with them, but he knows that’s what’s going on.

Long tells him to shut up because there will be no decision on the title until after the Draft at the end of June. With that out of the way, here’s the first Draft pick to Smackdown: Chris Benoit. There wasn’t much left for him to do on Raw and he fits in anywhere so this is a good move.

Benoit is glad to be here because unlike JBL, he has never quit. JBL backs off at what sounds like a threat and talks about some of Benoit’s biggest victories before ranting about Kansas City and ECW. Benoit says he regrets nothing about his career and is glad to be here because he didn’t quit. Anyway they’ll fight tonight so JBL swings at him but has to escape a Crossface attempt.

Carlito vs. Charlie Haas

Matt Morgan and Hardcore Holly are both here. Haas shoulders him down to start and goes after the arm as a wrestler tends to do. Carlito gets in a shot of his own and we see Morgan stuttering his approval. The front facelock goes on to keep Haas slowed down until he fights up with the dropkick. Morgan gets on the apron so Haas sends Carlito into him and dives onto Morgan for a bonus. The distraction lets Carlito grab a rollup with trunks to pin Haas.

Rating: D+. Well that was a little overbooked for what they were going for here. The match wasn’t anything of note but they’ve done a nice job of setting up Haas and Holly as lower level jobbers. They can both have a good enough match under the right circumstances, such as not doing this much in a match that barely broke three minutes.

Long recap of the ECW invasion of Raw, which was really good stuff.

Heidenreich wants Benoit to be his best friend but Benoit thinks he’s a bit much. After Heidenreich leaves, Eddie Guerrero comes up to say he didn’t expect to see Benoit until One Night Stand. They reminisce about Wrestlemania XX where they were both World Champions, so maybe they’ll fight for the new Smackdown title. They’ll still be friends though of course. Benoit isn’t so convinced because he’s seen how Eddie has treated his friends. Besides, Benoit’s title match would be against Rey Mysterio since Eddie can’t beat him. See you Sunday amigo.

Kurt Angle says he is obsessed with Sharmell and couldn’t stop staring at her last week. When he pinned her last week, it felt so good to look down at her. Then Sharmell wouldn’t let him go he looked into her eyes and felt the chemistry between the two of them. Tonight, the games with Booker T. end because to the victor go the spoils. After Booker taps, Sharmell is coming home to daddy.

Paul London vs. Akio

Non-title. London’s headlock doesn’t work so he jumps over Akio in the corner. Hang on though as here’s Eddie for a distraction, with Akio showing some intelligence by beating London up as Eddie walks to the ring. Eddie grabs the mic and gets in the ring while the match is going on. London dropkicks Akio into London so the beatdown is on for the no contest which should be a DQ but wrestling doesn’t do DQ’s in situations like these for some reason.

Post match, and after tossing London (just kill the Cruiserweight Title already), Eddie complains about the lack of respect he receives around here. No one thinks he can beat Rey, even though he has left Rey laying. Rey remembers being laid out and taken away by the EMTs as the fans screamed about him. After talking about the ways he has hurt Rey, Eddie talks about never breaking a promise he made to Rey. More on this later.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Before the match, Angle calls out Tazz again, saying he wants an answer by the end of the night. Tazz doesn’t answer but says on commentary that he doesn’t answer to anyone and is going to call the match. The bell rings and they circle each other because that’s what Booker should be doing right now. A hiptoss and armdrag into an armbar continue the completely unrealistic responses.

Booker reverses into an armbar of his own, showing how worthless Booker is as a protector when it comes to defending valet wives. Booker fights up and drapes him over the top for the ax kick to finally get somewhere. Back in and they slug it out with Booker getting the better of it off a kick to the face. Angle snaps off a release German suplex, followed by more suplexes to keep Booker in trouble. A very telegraphed charge lets Booker backdrop him to the floor though and we take a break.

Back with Booker fighting out of a waistlock and hitting a Stunner. The Angle Slam is reversed and it’s a Book End for two. Angle is right back up with the rolling German suplexes for two and the Angle Slam is good for the same. A missed charge sends Angle into the buckle and Booker hits a quick spinebuster.

Now the ax kick gets two more but Angle is right back with the ankle lock. Booker eventually kicks it off but the referee gets bumped, meaning it’s time for Angle to glare at Sharmell. Angle grabs a chair and hits Booker’s ankle but the second chair shot hits the top rope so the chair hits Angle in the head by mistake. The scissors kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: C-. This felt like it belonged on a pay per view but wasn’t all that good. Angle has beaten Booker up in almost every match but keeps losing, as he should, but it isn’t exactly something that warrants more rematches. Then there is the story stuff which is just disturbing in a lot of ways. I’m hoping this wraps things up because there are very few good ways to keep it going.

Post break and post recap, Angle grabs a chair and a mic because he wants his answer from Tazz. The sunglasses and headset come off with Angle threatening violence if he doesn’t get the answer he wants. Angle…then sits down next to Tazz, who just stares at him. After a few moments of nothing, Angle snaps and hits him with the chair. Tazz is bleeding from the head as the trainers come down to check on him. He tries to walk away but collapses and has to be helped out.

Heidenreich vs. Rory Fox

Heidenreich finds a friend before the match, though this time she is a woman in her twenties. The Boss Man Slam finishes Fox in about thirty seconds.

Post match Heidenreich reads his new friend a poem.

Raw Rebound.

Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Paul Heyman replaces Tazz on commentary and has ECW with him. JBL has the Cabinet with him to even things up a little bit. Benoit takes him into the corner to start and the fans already want tables. A hard whip into the corner puts Benoit down but he chops his way out of trouble. The first suplex looks to set up the Sharpshooter but JBL gets out twice in a row. Back up and JBL hits a big boot as Heyman rants about Eric Bischoff, as he is known to do.

A powerbomb is countered into the Sharpshooter but Benoit has to deal with the Bashams and Orlando Jordan as they earn their pay. Cue Carlito and Matt Morgan and we take a break. Back with JBL choking underneath the ropes and hammering away as the pace has slowed. A sleeper has Benoit in trouble until he belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. There’s the snap suplex and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. The Crossface goes on and Kurt Angle comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. They weren’t exactly hiding where this was going until the ending and there is nothing wrong with that. JBL is still a big deal at this point and putting him in there against the #1 Draft pick makes a lot of sense. It also helps to advance One Night Stand, which really is coming off like a big deal for a change. Benoit should have won under normal circumstances, but the build to One Night Stand isn’t all that normal.

The big brawl is on and here’s Tazz to choke out a Basham as the ECW guys clear the ring with finishers. ECW stands tall and Michael Cole is their biggest fan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s a pretty weak show but getting Benoit helps, as does setting up the tease of a new World Champion, finishing Booker vs. Angle (we can only hope) and making me want to watch One Night Stand again. They’ve done a good job here and Sunday’s show is looking strong, so hopefully we’re in for WWE treating ECW right. Not a good show on its own, but it gives me some hope for the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2005
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the start of the Draft and that is the kind of thing that can change a lot about the company in a hurry. The first Draft pick is going to be revealed on the Highlight Reel and that could make for some interesting interactions. Other than that we have the build towards HHH vs. Batista in the Cell and it’s also the go home show for One Night Stand. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff is very, very happy with the first Draft pick. It’s the biggest Draft pick ever but here’s Coach to warn him that Paul Heyman could be here tonight. Bischoff: “Who cares?”

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel as we’re starting fast. Jericho hypes up the new acquisition and says they’re going to have a hard time topping his debut six years ago. We’re not wasting any more time though because here’s the first pick: WWE Champion John Cena, officially making him the next big thing in the company. Both Jericho and Cena are happy to be “hurr” (their word) but Jericho brings up both titles being on the same show.

The last time that happened, Jericho beat them both in the same night. Jericho talks about how they’re both becoming media superstars, though he is a little bit above Cena. If Cena wants to be a big music star though, he might have to alienate some wrestling fans. That won’t be happening but Cena says if anyone wants some, come get some. Cue Christian and Tyson Tomko with the Canadian saying he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

The cheers Cena is getting reminds him of the cheers of another fraud in this town: Mark McGwire. Christian: “This is my show Cena, so go take a stroll. Canada in the house, cause that’s how I roll.” Cena makes fun of him for the old Brood offense (hey now that was awesome) and says Christian was sucking something other than blood. Tomko is Christian’s life partner but Cena can beat them both at once. That means a five second pose with a one fingered You Can’t See Me and it’s Cena and Jericho cleaning house. Get the tag match ready.

Intercontinental Title: Muhammad Hassan/Daivari vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is defending and this is the result of a threatened lawsuit from Hassan after Batista beat up Hassan and Daivari. Only Hassan can win the title here. Hassan takes Benjamin into the corner to start but gets powered out as the USA chants begin. Daivari gets draped over the top but the distraction lets Hassan get in a cheap shot. A nasty running knee to the face puts Hassan down but Daivari’s distraction sets up the Downward Spiral to give Hassan the pin. Hang on though as the foot is on the rope and we keep going after a break.

Back with Shelton fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a tackle for a double knockdown. The Samoan drop plants Hassan again but he’s up fast enough to save Daivari from a choke. Hassan sends him shoulder first into the post and it’s off to the armbar. Daivari comes in and stomps away for two before working on the other arm for a change. The comeback doesn’t seem that hard and there’s the Stinger Splash to Daivari. Hassan is sent outside and the exploder to Daivari retains the title.

Rating: D+. They went with the false finish a bit too early and it made the rest of the match feel a little dull as they weren’t going to have Shelton get pinned twice, even if the first one didn’t count. Hassan is fine for a challenger here, but I’m not sure how much it is going to help him to stick with the “they’re all against me” stuff.

We recap the setup to HHH vs. Batista in the Cell before their contract signing tonight.

William Regal comes up to see Tajiri in the back. Tajiri denies being involved with Paul Heyman and Regal forbids him from being involved with One Night Stand. Chris Benoit comes up and Regal blames him for confusing the poor lad Tajiri. Benoit talks about ECW’s place in history but Regal says it’s sad to see how far Benoit has fallen. Benoit says ECW gave him a chance when no one else would (I find that a little hard to believe.) so Regal tells Tajiri to pick a side. Tajiri: “ECW! ECW! ECW!”

Bischoff and Coach aren’t worried about ECW but here are Hassan and Daivari to complain about the INJUSTICE in the match. Bischoff says there will be a one man committee here next week to address Hassan’s issues in the ring: Steve Austin.

Chris Masters vs. Val Venis

Masters is already getting caught by the same problem that Hassan had at first: these feuds against low level opponents aren’t going to draw any interest and they come off as a waste of time more than anything else. Venis jumps him during his entrance and slugs away, including sending Masters into the buckle to start.

A half nelson slam gets two and they head to the floor, only to have Masters get in a pretty low kick to slow Venis down. Venis is fine enough for a rather delayed one off a fisherman’s suplex. The Blue Thunder Bomb and spinebuster get two each but Masters shoves him out of the corner in a big crash. The Masterlock goes on and after a quick fight, Venis is done.

Rating: D+. Venis was trying here (as he almost always was) but it’s 2005 and you’re only going to get so much interest out of a Val Venis match. It also doesn’t make Masters look very good to have to struggle against Venis, who beat him up for most of the match before getting caught at the end. That being said, the idea of Masters being in a big time match at the moment sounds rather disturbing.

Ric Flair gives HHH a pep talk before the contract signing. He needs encouragement for that?

It’s time for the contract signing with Bischoff running the show and the ring full of security. Before we get to that though, Bischoff dares Paul Heyman to show up here because ECW was a failure. Why was it a failure? It’s because it didn’t have something like the Cell or a star like HHH. After HHH comes out, Bischoff has a big announcement: should either HHH or Batista be drafted to Smackdown, the match still takes place. HHH doesn’t care about the Draft because no one is better than him on either show.

We get a highlight package of HHH inside the Cell, which I’m sure he just had laying around. With that out of the way and some more threats from HHH, here’s Batista to say HHH is done talking. He isn’t afraid of HHH or the Cell so HHH needs to be ready to pay for his sins. They both sign and HHH says that was Batista signing his own death warrant. Batista: “Good!” They’ll have to kill each other to win and it’s a tense face to face with more threats to wrap it up.

We look back at Cena’s debut.

Victoria/Heart Throbs vs. Hurricane/Rosey/Christy Hemme

Fallout from Victoria snapping on Christy last week and Stacy is out with Hurricane and company. Hurricane and Thomas start things off and it’s a suplex to give Hurricane an early two. Roselli comes in for a double Russian legsweep and a double suplex lets Roselli thrust the hips. For some reason that’s enough for a tag to Victoria so Christy has to come in as well. Hurricane kicks Victoria away and makes the tag anyway because they don’t know the rules all too well. The catfight is on and everything breaks down and it’s a DQ with Christy choking Victoria too much.

Rating: D. Yeah this was nothing, though Christy can certainly snap when she needs to. The problem is that she isn’t a wrestler and can’t do anything beyond the catfighting, which is understandable given how she got here. She is intense though and seems to be trying and I’ll take that over someone just showing up and looking desperate for their contract to expire.

Cena is in Bischoff’s office but won’t shake the boss’ hand. Bischoff gets straight to the point: next week it’s Cena/Jericho vs. Tomko/Christian. We get more gay jokes before Cena is offered a spot on the anti-ECW team. That isn’t Cena’s deal so Bischoff offers to have his back. Cena doesn’t play politics so Bischoff issues threats, meaning we hear about Raw vs. Nitro again (fair enough here as it’s just over four years ago). If Bischoff wants a friend, see one of the other Draft picks because you won’t see him.

Smackdown Rebound.

We look at Edge and Lita flushing Lita’s wedding ring last week.

Kane comes out for a match but here’s a smiling Edge instead. Edge has good news and bad news: Kane won’t be facing him tonight but he will be facing him at Vengeance. As for tonight, Edge has a better idea. Cue Lita, wearing what can only somewhat be described as a top. Lita is excited about going to Vengeance in Las Vegas and once Edge beats Kane, they’ll go get married at one of those all night wedding chapels. Kissing ensues and Kane is annoyed.

Sidenote: Kane would beat Simon Dean in a quick match during the break.

Sabu will be at One Night Stand.

Chris Benoit vs. Gene Snitsky

ECW Rules and Coach is on commentary. Benoit wastes no time in grabbing a trashcan lid to hammer Snitsky down and lets get some trashcans as well. Snitsky gets in a few shots of his own but has to trash can lid his way out of a Crossface attempt. The trashcans are wedged into the corner and a hard whip sends Benoit back first into both of them.

Snitsky stays on the back but misses a big boot to crotch himself on the top. It’s table time and the fans are rather pleased all over again. Some rolling German suplexes rock Snitsky again and it’s time to put him on the table. The Swan Dive is broken up though and a shot to the head puts Benoit outside. Cue the Dudleys (with Bubba in the old school glasses) for the first time in a long time for a 3D through the table and the no contest.

Rating: C-. This was better than I was expecting, which is both surprising due to it being Snitsky but not surprising due to it being Benoit. Snitsky worked the back for a few minutes until the storyline ending and that is better than what you get with almost any Snitsky match.

Post match the Dudleys run off through the crowd.

Post break Coach sends the cops to arrest the Dudleys in the back. Paul Heyman shows up and gets arrested too, despite being invited to the show. Heyman pesters Coach into saying he doesn’t want to drop the charges so the cuffs come off. After Heyman talks the Dudleys out of fighting the cops, a challenge is made for the Dudleys to come to the ring.

Here are Bischoff, Edge, Christian and Tomko to the ring in a hurry. Bischoff laughs off the idea of the Dudley Boyz being Heyman’s big weapon because they’re just overrated. He and his buddies are ready to take the Dudleys out tonight so Bischoff doesn’t even have to show up at One Night Stand. We hear about some Smackdown crusaders who are joining Bischoff and company to end ECW once and for all.

Bischoff calls Heyman out so here they are coming from the crowd. Heyman rants about Bischoff having all of the resources but it never connected with the audience like ECW did. ECW never backed down to anyone so the Dudleys get in the ring. Bischoff waves the lower card reinforcements down to the ring so Heyman points to the crowd and the ECW theme starts. Cue a bunch of ECW guys (Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks and Sandman) with Heyman sending the dogs after the Raw guys. ECW cleans house, including destroying Maven, to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There are a lot of ways to look at this show and it made it kind of a confusing watch. First of all, the Raw stuff going on isn’t all that good with Batista vs. HHH feeling like a match that we just have to get through so HHH can take a break when he decides to take a break. It’s annoying, but Raw has been “his” show for so long that I guess he needs it, or at least was able to convince someone that he does. I’m sure the match will be fine, but when we’ve seen it twice in two months, it’s a bit tiresome.

Then there is Cena coming over, which feels big now but is almost destined to be a game changer. Cena has jumped way up the ladder since Wrestlemania with that I Quit match being his big coming out party moment. WWE needs some fresh faces on the show and Cena is more versatile than Batista. Cena isn’t at Batista’s level of star power yet (though the gap has shrunk in a hurry) but the potential is there and he has a much bigger upside, meaning he belongs on Raw.

Finally there’s the ECW stuff and that feels fun. That’s the biggest thing that I get every time that the show is mentioned. I want to see how the thing goes and that’s because they have made it feel like a cool moment. Above all else it feels like a celebration of ECW rather than a blatant cash grab. I mean, it is a cash grab but don’t be so obvious about it. Anyway, the bad slightly outweighs the good, but brighter days are ahead.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 2, 2005
Location: Rexall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in that weird period where the fallout from a pay per view is over and now we’re on the way to nothing because there isn’t another Smackdown pay per view for over a month. At the same time though, we’re less than a week away from the Draft so it’s time to get some new toys around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Kurt Angle winning a battle royal and granting himself a match against Sharmell tonight. Eddie Guerrero attacked Rey Mysterio before the match because Eddie is insane.

Opening sequence.

We open with Carlito’s Cabana (again) with Matt Morgan acting as security. Carlito isn’t happy about being in Canada because Edmonton is the least coolest (his words) city in North America. We look at Morgan putting Big Show through a table last week with an F5. Morgan stutters at the crowd before Carlito brings out his guest for the week: John Cena. With the Wayne Gretzky jersey on, Cena mocks both Carlito and Morgan, the latter of whom does not like being called a palm tree.

Cena mocks the stuttering a lot before saying that since this might be their last night together on Smackdown, he needs to get to the point: Carlito isn’t cool. He’s a cabana boy with bad hair and hangs out with Michael Cole wannabes. We hear a bunch of similarities between Cole and Morgan (Hair, bear, affinity for oiling themselves up and wearing spandex) until Carlito says he can’t wait for someone to come over from Raw and embarrass Cena. That sounds cool with Cena, who says anyone who wants some can come get some. As for coming and getting some, tonight it’s Carlito/Morgan vs. Cena/Big Show.

Theodore Long is on the phone (which looked like the same Motorola I had around this time) when Booker T. and Sharmell come in. Booker wants Sharmell out of the match because she’s no wrestler, but Long says it’s all in the rules. However, Long does have an idea: Booker can be added to the match to make it a handicap match. That’s cool with Booker, so Long tells him to go handle his business.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending in a fifteen minute Iron Man match, because this needed a trilogy match with a gimmick. Haas trips Nitro to the mat to start so Nitro bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and a crossbody gets two on Nitro, who is chased into the corner for the tag off to Mercury. Holly pulls him in and hits a Russian legsweep for two, followed by the hanging kick to the ribs.

The Alabama Slam is loaded up but the referee is off yelling at Haas, allowing Nitro to hit a superkick for the pin and the first fall. Holly stays in and grabs an armbar on Nitro, which doesn’t exactly last long. Therefore Holly puts it right back on as the stalling continues and we take another break. Back again with less than six and a half minutes to go after MNM got a second fall during the break when Haas was posted and pinned.

Haas grabs a quick Oklahoma roll to get a fall back so the champs start slowing the pace down again. The fans want Holly with five minutes left as the announcers make basketball analogies about the clock. Holly finally comes in for a save and tries to drag Haas to the corner in a move that isn’t done enough. A running hip shot knocks Haas to the floor so Holly throws him back inside.

Back in and Haas finally gets in a clothesline for a breather and an enziguri allows the hot tag with less than two minutes to go. Holly cleans house and gets two off a full nelson slam, followed by the dropkick for two. There’s a minute left and the Snapshot is broken up so Holly can hit the Alabama Slam. Melina dives in and covers Nitro though, presumably making her the Tag Team Champions as time expires.

Rating: C. Uh yeah fine, now can we PLEASE find some new challengers? The matches have been fine enough but Holly and Haas have lost three times now and weren’t interesting challengers in the first place. The fans are getting into Holly and they’re nothing close to a disaster or even bad, but we need something fresh.

Long video on Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio, going from their teaming together to their split, with Chavo Guerrero playing a great devil on Eddie’s shoulder.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his match with Booker and Sharmell but first, he needs to talk about Tazz not doing commentary during last week’s Kurt Angle Invitational. That comes off as disrespectful, so Angle has a clip of his own. That would be from his one night in ECW, where Tazz said Angle was a great amateur but he’s a great professional.

Back in the arena, Angle knows that it was Paul Heyman making Tazz say it. Tazz isn’t a wrestler like the people in ECW, though they weren’t wrestlers either. The WWE made him a star, so Angle wants Tazz to come with him to One Night Stand and kill ECW once and for all. Tazz takes his sunglasses off but doesn’t say anything.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Kurt Angle

Thankfully Booker acts sane here and makes Sharmell stay down on the floor but the referee says everyone has to be in the ring at the same time. Angle knocks Booker outside so Sharmell runs (because she’s smart), allowing Booker to get back up and Catch Angle on the floor. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor again though and it’s time for more stalking. Like any distressed woman in wrestling, Sharmell trips over the steps and Angle throws her inside for a powerbomb, complete with hip swivel.

There’s a bit too much swiveling though and Booker hammers away. The Book End looks to set up the Houston Hangover but Angle crotches him. There’s a superplex but Angle can’t get up, so Sharmell covers him for two. We take a break (In this match???) and come back with Angle holding a Fujiwara armbar as Booker seems almost out. Booker fights back with chops but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes.

Angle takes Sharmell down into something close to a choke but seems to be whispering in her ear instead. Booker makes the save and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. That’s enough for Angle to back Sharmell into the corner and take down the straps so she bites and slaps away. The low blow is countered into the ankle lock but Booker kicks him in the face.

Booker hits the spinning kick but misses the ax kick, allowing Angle to drive Booker into Sharmell and the referee at the same time. A superkick puts Angle on the floor but he’s back in with some chair shots to Booker and now Sharmell is all alone. Angle stacks her up in a rollup (you can imagine the positioning) for the pin.

Rating: F. The wrestling wasn’t even very good because Booker was going wild out there (makes perfect sense) but is there ANY reason why Booker and Sharmell tried to have the match? Long didn’t threaten them if they didn’t go through with it, so why not have Sharmell run away and just take the countout or DQ while Booker stays in the ring and beats Angle up? This made no sense and I spent the whole match wondering why they weren’t just doing the obvious thing. Oh and given how completely absurd this whole thing is, it’s about as much of a failure as you can get.

Post match Angle climbs on top of her so Booker makes the save to send a smiling Angle off.

Video of John Cena’s media tour for his album.

Heidenreich vs. Devon Nicholson

Nicholson is a tiny bit famous as Hannibal. Heidenreich goes to find a friend before the match and she looks just like Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap. He reads her a poem about having an unsure future in the Draft before pummeling Nicholson like the jobber that he is. The Boss Man Slam gives Heidenreich the pin as I try to get Do You Believe In Magic out of my head.

The women are backstage, as they tend to be, when Mark Jindrak comes up. He hopes there are some new women around here in the Draft. Jindrak: “Some ones that put out.” He is shouted off in a hurry.

Nunzio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Hold on though as JBL needs to rant about how bad ECW was. He blames all of the violence in wrestling on ECW and is appalled at the idea of Paul Heyman being a genius. Heyman claims to have brought in a bunch of legends but in case you haven’t heard, he is a liar. JBL rants about the ECW wrestlers we got, including Sandman and Lance Storm (those two are not often listed together), before saying ECW will not invade New York. He will be one of the crusaders at One Night Stand and lead the forces against ECW.

Speaking of ECW, let’s make this an ECW Rules match. JBL boots him to the floor so Nunzio slips underneath the ring and comes out the other side with a kendo stick. Some kendo stick shots connect but the Cabinet comes in so the Clothesline From JBL can connect. The big kendo stick shot finishes Nunzio quick in a match that was secondary to the promo (which is fine here).

Booker and Sharmell come in to rant at Long, demanding a match with Angle. If Long won’t make it, Booker will do it in the streets. Long can’t guarantee anything, but if they’re both here after the Draft, it’s on.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show/John Cena vs. Carlito/Matt Morgan

Show’s shoulder and ribs are heavily taped up but Cena lets him start with….well hang on as Morgan and Carlito aren’t sure who is starting. Carlito drops to the floor so Cena throws him in and the chops are on. Morgan gets shoved off the apron and Carlito is tossed onto him for the big crash.

Back from a break with Show knocking Morgan into the corner and hitting some loud chops before bringing Cena in. A slam puts Morgan down but he’s fine enough to bring Cena into the corner so the villains can take over for the first time. Morgan misses an elbow though and it’s back to Show for the house cleaning. There’s a side slam to Morgan but it messes up the ribs all over again. Ever the well trained rookie, Morgan is smart enough to kick at the ribs and drives a knee into them for a bonus.

Carlito even makes himself useful with a left hand to the ribs. He even comes in to stay on the ribs but Show sends him into Morgan, which counts as a tag. The required bearhug goes on until Show fights out and chops away at everyone. Morgan breaks up the chokeslam but it’s off to Cena to pick up the pace. Show Cactus Clotheslines Morgan to the floor and Cena hits the Shuffle into the (sitout) FU for the pin on Carlito.

Rating: C-. Cena has rocketed from the top of the card into the superstar status so fast that it’s almost hard to believe. He was a big deal when he won the title but now he feels like the real star that WWE has wanted him to be. That presents a problem though as there is no one who can fight against him, at least not on Smackdown at the moment. Carlito isn’t someone who is believable against this Cena and that was very obvious the whole time here. To be fair though, that wasn’t exactly what they were going for and that helped a lot.

Cena checks on the injured Show to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah, other than Rey vs. Eddie, it is more than time for some fresh blood around here and that is painfully obvious. Angle vs. Booker is just disturbing and Cena needs a challenger, though at least the ECW stuff is helping things along a bit. The show wasn’t the worst, but it’s running out of gas and that is the kind of thing that can create some rough watches. Not a bad show, but that Angle vs. Booker stuff needs to be forgotten in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2005
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to One Night Stand and after last week, that is the most interesting thing on the show. At the same time though, we have to deal with a THIRD HHH vs. Batista World Title match on pay per view. Now some might have thought that two wins over HHH were enough, but the clear solution is to lock them inside the Cell. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Memorial Day tribute. Vince NEVER misses this thing.

Opening sequence.

Since it’s the unofficial start of Summer, we’ll start with Jerry Lawler running a Diva Swimsuit contest. We’ve got Christy, Candice Michelle, Maria, Victoria and Lillian Garcia for a pretty surprising entrant. Lillian gets to go first and Lawler is VERY surprised but here’s Viscera before she takes her towel off. Viscera likes the idea of her in the swimsuit so he carries her to the back, leaving us with the other four to compete instead.

They all go and Lawler picks Christy as the winner. That’s too much for Victoria, who beats the other three up in a heel turn. Lawler tries to intervene and gets kicked low hard, followed by the Widow’s Peak to Christy. I assure you this was in no way an excuse for women in swimsuits to bounce around.

Post break Victoria rants about being sick of Christy getting all of the attention when it should have been all about her.

Tag Team Titles: Heart Throbs vs. Hurricane/Rosey

The Throbs are challenging after beating William Regal and Tajiri in a Texas Tornado match on Heat. Hurricane gets double teamed to start but fights out of it pretty quickly as Lawler needs some ice. Or Stacy Keibler if she’s available. The beatdown is back on with Hurricane being sent into the corner as a STACY’S HOT chant begins. Romeo slugs away at Hurricane’s face but a reversed whip allows the hot tag to Rosey. Everything breaks down as Rosey cleans house, including going to the middle rope so Hurricane can hit a splash from his shoulders to retain.

Rating: D. Yeah Stacy isn’t exactly saving the team as this was little more than watching Hurricane get beaten up for a few minutes until Rosey came in to take over. The champs aren’t the most thrilling people to hold the titles but really, who else is there for the titles at the moment? This is a really low point in the belts’ history and it doesn’t look likely to get better anytime soon.

Here are some of the potential finalists in the Diva Search.

We look back at last week when HHH made his epic return after a week away, Ric Flair turned on Batista, and the Cell match was announced for Vengeance. Oh and Edge got pinned after being built up with the tournament for about a month, but we need to get back to Batista vs. HHH already.

A bandaged Batista isn’t happy that HHH isn’t here. The Cell is on though and he wants the contract signed next week. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come in and demand to know why HHH is getting another title shot after losing at Wrestlemania and Backlash. Well he’s fired. Anyway, Batista gets in Hassan’s face and offers to shut him up. Bischoff makes the match. Daivari rants and gets slapped.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Robert Conway vs. Sylvain Grenier

Shelton is defending. We get a La Resistance reunion so Shelton can get beaten down to start but Shelton Samoan drops Grenier without much effort. Conway takes over and the double teaming is back on, only to have the argument break out again. The fans want Jericho get but Shelton taking even more of a beating until Grenier is sent outside. A backbreaker gets two on Conway but Grenier is back in for the Hart Attack.

Cue the argument over the cover (take a shot) so Grenier knocks Conway outside. Benjamin knocks Conway outside to join him but Grenier is back up to block the springboard clothesline. That means another French fight with Conway’s neckbreaker getting two. The fans chant something I can’t understand (likely anti-French) until Shelton FINALLY saves us from this match that is actually taking place on Raw with a Stinger Splash to Conway. The spinwheel kick sets up the exploder to Grenier to retain the title.

Rating: D. This was longer than it needed to be and if they really think that having Conway vs. Grenier can keep the fans interested, they’re slipping into delusional territory. Shelton is in a weird place at the moment as he’s ready to move up to the main event scene but has to lose the title at some point. I’m not sure to whom, but it has to happen eventually.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with Jericho apologizing for almost being late but you should have seen the line at his autograph signing today. Anyway, next week is going to be a big deal as the first pick from Smackdown in the Draft will be his guest on the Highlight Reel. As for tonight, one of his guests is a monster with no remorse who takes great joy in the pain of others.

Enough about Lita though because here’s Kane. Jericho wants to know about Lita leaving Kane because that’s never happened to him before (Jericho: “In fact it’s usually the opposite.”). Is it because Kane’s equipment malfunctioned? That earns Jericho the hardest side stare I can remember so Jericho offers him some tissues, ice cream and a copy of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood so Kane can have a good cry.

Edge pops up on screen for a reminder that he has speared both Kane and Kane’s wife in the last few weeks. Remember those emergency phone calls Lita made to her sister in the middle of the night? They were to Edge. Lita comes in to say she has officially filed for divorce so there is no more dealing with Kane’s sweaty body or his dumb laugh. Oh and he’s like a fourth grader in the bedroom (not going near that one). For a bonus, Lita flushes her wedding ring.

Quick question: so Lita went from hating Kane to caring for him and apparently living with him to an affair with Edge in the course of six months? Isn’t that a bit more complicated than it needs to be? Was there a reason she was staying with him at night when she would sneak off to call Edge? Or sleeping with him at all? Maybe she is just nuts.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to complain about one Night Stand. If he hates ECW style matches, why did he approve a tables match between Chris Benoit and Edge tonight? It’s because he wants us to see that you can do ECW any night of the week (or perhaps just on Mondays). Therefore, here’s one of his generals for the ECW invasion.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Tables match with Bischoff on commentary. They slug it out in the corner to start as you can hear the gleam in Bischoff’s voice as he rips on ECW. Benoit snaps off a suplex and chops away some more to send Edge outside. The first table is loaded up but Benoit dives onto Edge as we take a break.

Back with Benoit taking over and going for the Sharpshooter as Lawler talks about an upcoming ECW magazine. Bischoff: “I would encourage no one to buy that!” The Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Edge goes for the table again, only to have it baseball slidden into his face. Benoit crotches Edge on the bottom rope and pulls on the legs a bit before suplexing him back inside.

Edge gets crotched on the top as well and it’s another baseball slide to take it outside again. A table is brought in but Lita moves it out of the way of as Benoit hits the superplex. The briefcase is brought in so Benoit hits a German suplex to send it flying. Lita breaks up the Swan Dive through the table so Bischoff sends down Maven and Tomko (what a pair) to fight Benoit. Snitsky runs out too and the four on one beatdown sets up a powerbomb through the table to give Edge the win.

Rating: C+. These two always work well together and they did it again here. They managed to cover a pair of stories at once here as Edge gets a boost after last week’s loss and also pushed the ECW show. That’s becoming the top story around here and it feels like it should be pretty cool. Having Bischoff and Vince (at least for a week) involved make it more important and that’s the attention it should get.

Just because it’s so important, here’s HHH’s return to attack Batista last week.

HHH joins us from WWE Studios to talk about how this is his company and Batista is just having some fun. Last week he beat Batista, so now the Animal can become more violent or more submissive. Batista was scared last week and that is the first step. The final step is inside the Cell, where HHH ends careers.

Ask Kevin Nash (wrestled another cage match later that year) or Mick Foley (wrestled in the main event of Wrestlemania about six weeks later). Batista should fear HHH instead of the Cell because HHH likes being inside there. HHH is taking a piece of him in the Cell, plus the title. This was more of your usual HHH trying to be epic and making it all about himself again, because that’s what Raw needs to be about.

Here’s Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge for $10,000 American (because Canadian money is worthless you see). This week, the challenge is for anyone in the locker room because he wants some real competition. Cue Val Venis to answer, which is cool with Masters. His roommate in college had all of Val’s movies, which Val seems to appreciate. They’re ready to go but Masters beats him up before putting on the Masterlock. Val almost breaks it but gets taken down anyway.

Here’s Christian for a chat. Christian is happy to be back in Canada but wants to talk about everyone who could be coming over from Smackdown. What they don’t have though is a Canadian, so maybe he should head over there. And that’s it.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Batista

Non-title. Hassan tries to jump him before the bell and gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. That’s enough to send Hassan outside so Batista sends him right back inside. This time Hassan gets in a kick to the head and a neckbreaker gets two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Batista slams him down for the breather. Batista gets in the spinebuster but has to deal with an invading Hassan, including a belt shot to bust him open. Stomping and choking in the corner are enough for the DQ to keep Hassan undefeated.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of booking themselves into something close to a corner but knowing how to get out of it. The DQ finish may be a bit annoying but it’s exactly the way to go here to keep everyone in good shape and make Batista look angry going into the Cell. It’s rather nice to see them showing some intelligence for a change, which you don’t get enough of today.

Post match Batista wrecks Hassan to bust him open as well. The Batista Bomb plants Daivari and Hassan gets one of his own. Batista poses over their bloodied bodies to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Egads this was bad and I’m not sure if there was one big thing that caused the whole thing. The HHH vs. Batista stuff sounds like something that is just happening because HHH demanded that it should and we don’t move on until he says we do. Other than that, the wrestling was mostly terrible and the only thing I want to see at the moment is the ECW invasion. They just need to fix something and find an interesting story already, but that isn’t going to matter as long as HHH won’t just go away for a bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 23, 2005
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to the next Raw pay per view now that Smackdown’s show is over, but not before a big time show tonight. This week will see Batista defend the World Title against Edge, who has been lit on fire with a now heel Lita and a win in the Gold Rush Tournament. Other than that, it’s time to start the build to Vengeance, which seems a long way off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We recap the Gold Rush Tournament finals with Lita turning on Kane to join Edge. I heartily approve of heel Lita, and JR’s line of “the dirty rotten bastard is going to wrestle for the World Title!” is pretty awesome.

Here are Edge and Lita, flanked by a bunch of security guard. Lita tells this room full of saints to go ahead and pass judgment on her. Women use their husbands like she did to Kane all the time, and can you really blame her? Maybe it started with the kidnapping, the forcing her into sex, being pregnant with his baby, the forced marriage and losing her baby? So yeah, she used her husband to get somewhere and all it took was a really gross wet kiss last week.

The fans start a pretty expected chant at her but she says don’t be jealous because she gets more action in a month than the rest of the crowd does in their entire lives. She never loved Kane (well duh) and while he was following her around like a puppy, she fell in love with a real man. Kane couldn’t satisfy her, just like any man she has ever been with. Well save for one, and that is the man she has been seeing behind Kane’s back for months now.

Edge knows everyone is jealous of them for how they look and what they do. He has the girl and tonight he’ll get the gold. Edge won at Wrestlemania, and tonight he claims his destiny by becoming World Heavyweight Champion. Bank on it. Kissing ensues and the fans care a bit. This worked as well as it could with a bad premise. There was no secret to the fact that Lita didn’t want to marry Kane in the first place and never loved him in the first place, so why should I be upset about what happened to him? He was so evil about six months ago and now he deserves sympathy? It doesn’t quite work that way.

Kane is rather….I guess the word is serious in the back.

Eric Bischoff is making funeral arrangements for ECW when Shelton Benjamin comes in. Chris Jericho isn’t here for their tag match so Bischoff turns it into a handicap match instead. They bring up the Draft, with both thinking John Cena would be a good addition. Benjamin thinks Bischoff going to Smackdown would be better. Eh, even if Bischoff goes to Smackdown, I can’t see him lasting that long over there.

Muhammad Hassan/Daivari vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton comes up swinging but gets punched down by Hassan. A blind tag brings in Daivari but Shelton sends Hassan outside and armbars Daivari without too much effort. The fans get behind Shelton, only to be cut off as Hassan gets in a trip from the floor. Hassan comes back in for a hard elbow to the face and the chinlock goes on. It’s back to Daivari, who spends too much time shouting and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Shelton faceplants Daivari and nails a running knee lift on Hassan. Daivari tries to bring in a chair and the distraction lets Hassan hit a Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick handicap match here to give Hassan a win over the champ to set up what should be a title match down the line. The match was the usual mess of a short form handicap match and that all but guarantees that it’s going to be terrible. At least they also advanced Jericho’s issues, as a heel turn has seemed to be in the cards for a few weeks now.

Post break Jericho arrives and is told that his match already happened. He’s been busy with the Fozzy tour so he’s got a lot on his mind. Whenever he finds Bischoff, he’ll face anyone tonight because Jericho equals ratings.

Christian and Tomko are in the back when Edge and Lita come in. Edge says Christian is probably staying on Raw so he has an offer: if Christian were to help Edge win the title tonight, Edge might be willing to part with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Christian gets it and says maybe he’ll see Edge later.

Chris Masters vs. Stevie Richards

This is for retribution after Masters broke Richards’ nose. Richards slugs away to start but Masters snaps off a suplex. The ax handle is blocked and Richards explodes with right hands. Masters takes out the knee and it’s the Masterlock for the quick win.

Post match medics come out and check on Richards.

Bischoff sends Todd Grisham to find out how Kane is doing.

Here are some of the women who might be finalists in the Diva Search.

Chris Jericho vs. Sylvain Grenier

Grenier is here on his own. Jericho gets taken into the corner to start and the Walls attempt is broken up. Instead Jericho forearms him in the head and hits the enziguri to the forearm. Grenier gets in a clothesline but Jericho snaps him throat first across the top. The Walls finish in a hurry.

Rating: D+. They were smart to not have Jericho break much of a sweat over Grenier here as Grenier is likely to be on the endangered species list with La Resistance done. The match was short and to the point though and that’s as much as you can expect. Jericho’s teased heel turn is a good idea though as he’s been in limbo for a long time.

Post match here’s Shelton but Jericho drops to the floor and talks about everything he has going on. Sometimes you’re going to have to put up with him being a little late because he’s Chris Jericho. The Jericholics will always be on his side.

Here’s Eric Bischoff for the ECW funeral, complete with a barbed wire wreath. Bischoff gives a rather laugh filled history of ECW, talking about the Bingo hall and how the roster thought they were rebels. Then he crushed ECW and it died, only to have rumors of a reunion pop up again. Therefore, he’ll crush it again, with the help of some Raw volunteers who are going to show up to the Hammerstein Ballroom on June 12. The rant continues but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt.

Vince is here because he has a vested interest in the future of ECW because he supposed ECW for years (which seems to be news to Bischoff). Vince knew that one day, the ECW stars could become WWE superstars, including Mick Foley, the Dudleys and Steve Austin. Bischoff isn’t pleased but Vince brings up the loans that ECW owed him, totaling nearly $600,000. That’s why he wants the ECW show to be a success, which is why he advertised them himself.

As for tonight, he’s going to present the ECW match that Bischoff canceled last week. See, the only brand that is really dead is WCW and Vince killed it himself. With Bischoff’s legs cut off, here’s Paul Heyman to talk about ECW instead, which gives us the always awesome visual of the three promoters in the same ring at once (I believe for the first time ever). Heyman says Vince may own ECW but Heyman controls it.

That brings him to Bischoff, who gets a rant about everything ECW did, including the cruiserweights and submission style, with Heyman holding up the ECW press pass every time he says everything. We hear about ECW being in your face and hardcore, with Bischoff being invited to see the show in person, with Heyman getting in the date of the show as he always does.

Vince loves the idea of a good old fight so may the best man win. Heyman says Bischoff has started a fire that he can’t put out. The wreath is set on fire and Bischoff looks worried. This just turned into a big deal and that’s a good thing as the show feels special. You could feel the anger that Heyman had for Bischoff here and it must feel great to him to have ECW back instead of WCW.

Steve Austin is in the remake of the Longest Yard.

Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri

ECW Rules so Tajiri jumps him from behind with the kendo stick on the stage. Benoit takes it away but gets the mist to the face so Tajiri can bring in some weapons. Tajiri whips him into a trashcan in the corner but Benoit is right back with the rolling German suplexes. The Crossface with the kendo stick gives Benoit the quick tap. Lawler keeps jumping on ECW and JR defends it, which is completely bizarre to hear.

Ric Flair thanks Batista for the save last week. He even wishes Batista good luck against Kane tonight.

Grisham goes to interview Kane, who talks about all the pain he has gone through over the years. This is the worst ever though and he is so hurt that he starts to cry. Kane doesn’t want this pain and wants it off of him. Instead he wants to give the pain to someone else.

Post break, Kane walks out.

Here’s Maria to interview Viscera, who is rather impressive looking in his suit. Maria invites Lillian into the ring because it’s clear that Viscera likes her. That’s true, though Lillian never showed up last week. He has a surprise for tonight though and asks for lights and music. Maria has to go get him a hot dog (Viscera: “Yeah I got a hot dog for you too baby.”) so Viscera can dance and eat at the same time. Lillian gets into it as the jacket comes off and the tie follows…..but then the pants come down. Cue Coach to demand that this be stopped immediately because Bischoff doesn’t need to deal with a sexual harassment lawsuit. Viscera is ordered to leave so it’s a beatdown for Coach, including the pelvic thrusting on the mat. Lillian gets pulled in for her kiss and she doesn’t seem to be complaining.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Batista takes him into the corner to start and powers his way out of a bad comeback attempt. With Edge on the floor, here are Christian and Tomko as we take a break. Back with Edge hammering away and getting in a shot to the ribs to send Batista outside.

They head back inside with Edge staying on the ribs with a bodyscissors. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two and we hit the chinlock, which gets switched into a sleeper. Lawler keeps going on about Lita’s top and JR goes into one of his great rants about how this isn’t about Lita. Batista’s arm drops twice and the comeback is on, only to have Edge nail a dropkick for the stop.

Edge goes up top but gets superplexed right back down and Batista is getting fired up. The referee gets bumped so Christian and Tomko come in for the beatdown. Cue Ric Flair for the save but Edge spears him down. Another spear gives Edge two so Lita slides in the briefcase, only to have Batista catch him with the Batista Bomb to retain.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. We spent three weeks on a tournament and the whole thing is more than likely a way to set up HHH vs. Batista III (Why else would Flair be involved?). Edge loses again, though the briefcase is going to be more than enough to keep him relevant. Not a very good match, but with so much going on, that isn’t exactly surprising.

Post match Batista helps Flair up and hugs him but here’s the returning HHH so Flair can hit Batista low. HHH has the sledgehammer and looks at the title like Edge looked at Lita earlier. The very long beatdown ensues, with Batista being busted open. HHH says they’re doing it again, but this time inside Hell in a Cell. A Pedigree onto the title ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The big segment in the middle was good but the rest of it was pretty dull as we need to fill in time before Vengeance with One Night Stand. Now that show sounds very good and is likely to be a blast, but it doesn’t do much good when so much of the roster has nothing to do with it so far. Hopefully things pick up soon because this wasn’t much of a show, including an underwhelming main event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Judgment Day 2005
Date: May 22, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for another Smackdown pay per view and that could go in a variety of ways. Granted it tends to be a variety of bad with these things but there are a few different levels. This time around there are two matches that look good with JBL vs. John Cena in an I Quit match and Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio, which should be enough to get it past bad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Eddie vs. Rey with Eddie being presented as the sinner. Then there is Kurt Angle who has surrendered to his desires of passion. Finally, you have JBL and Cena, who are headed for guaranteed agony.

There isn’t even an intro from the announcers as we go straight to the first match.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending and Melina has a mic on the way to the ring. Charlie throws Nitro around to start and even lifts him into the air by the arm. An armdrag gets two (yes an armdrag) and it’s off to Holly, which sends Nitro bailing into the corner. Mercury comes in and jumps over Holly but gets caught (mostly) with the dropkick.

The hanging kick to the ribs set up the corner chops to Mercury, plus one for Nitro for a bonus. The Alabama Slam is loaded up but the referee yells at Haas, allowing Nitro to make the save with a superkick. We actually get a LET’S GO HARDCORE chant as Mercury hits a neckbreaker for two. Nitro grabs the chinlock with a knee in the back, which is broken up in a hurry with Holly hitting the full nelson slam for the double knockdown.

Haas gets the hot tag and hits a dropkick of his own to start the house cleaning. The big dive over the top connects and a small package gets two on Mercury. Everything breaks down and Holly goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Nitro to get in a cheap shot from the apron. The Snapshot retains the titles.

Rating: C. I came into this expecting nothing and got a completely watchable match so we’ll call this a nice surprise. Haas and Holly aren’t great challengers but they did what they could here and got the fans into it. MNM is a very good team though and should have the titles for a long time.

We recap Big Show getting taken down by Carlito’s poison apple and Carlito debuting Matt Morgan as his new bodyguard.

Big Show vs. Carlito

Before the match, Carlito talks about Randy Moss (former Minnesota Viking) saying he left because Minnesota wasn’t cool. They don’t respect talent like Matt Morgan, who is cool because he’s big and strong. Tonight, Morgan is going to watch Carlito destroy Big Show. Carlito bails to the floor to start with Show eventually tossing him into the corner for the overhand chops.

Morgan’s distraction doesn’t help as Show tosses Carlito again and stalks away a bit. A slam keeps Carlito in trouble so Morgan low bridges Show to the floor to finally put him in trouble. Back in and Show beats Carlito up even more but the referee gets bumped, allowing Morgan to offer another distraction. This one works a bit better as Carlito gets in a low blow into Morgan’s F5 so Carlito can steal the pin.

Rating: D-. This wouldn’t have even been a good TV match as it was more a way to set up Morgan vs. Big Show in the battle of the giants down the line. I still don’t get much out of Carlito. Maybe it’s the goofy looking hair or the character in general, but he just does not appeal to me. He has his moments and can do well enough in the ring, but it never has clicked for me.

We recap Booker T. vs. Kurt Angle. Booker eliminated Angle from a #1 contenders match so Angle got obsessed. This caused him to go nuts about Booker’s wife Sharmell, who he described as a “gutter sl**.” Angle went into full on stalker mode on Sharmell and claimed that she liked it, sending Booker further over the edge. Angle has promised to dominate both of them tonight so Booker superkicked a TV.

Sharmell gives Booker a pep talk but gets a delivery: lingerie and handcuffs, but they’re not from Booker. Cole: “Is Kurt Angle absolutely insane?” Yes, yes he is.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London

Chavo is challenging. They trade kicks to the legs to start until Chavo takes him down and hammer away. After Cole explains that Chavo won the title from Chavo, he talks about a tilt-a-whirl knee to the knee. We hit something like a seated abdominal stretch to stay on the ribs which were banged up a few weeks ago. London gets up with a hurricanrana but the 450 hits raised knees to put the champ right back in trouble.

A belly to back suplex gives Chavo two and a dropkick to the ribs gets two. The rather logical abdominal stretch goes on but London slips out and hits his own belly to back suplex. A leg lariat keeps Chavo in trouble and an enziguri gets two. London spinwheel kicks him down again and there’s the big flip dive to the floor for a bonus. Chavo is back up with his own dive but London crotches him back inside. A backdrop puts Chavo down again and the 450 retains the title.

Rating: C+. The story of the match made sense and they beat each other up well enough, but the interest just wasn’t there for the most part. I’m not sure what you can do to make Chavo vs. London interesting and that’s one of the biggest problems with the title. The wrestlers are treated as second class talent and while the match was fine, it comes and goes and it doesn’t draw much interest.

Booker is looking for Angle. After searching a few bathrooms, Booker tells the locker room to tell him if they see Angle.

Sharmell is in Booker’s locker room when Angle appears and shoves her on the couch. He puts his hand over her mouth and says he can get her anytime. After the match, she’s his. As usual, Booker comes off as REALLY STUPID for leaving her alone when Angle is nowhere to be found.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

Booker goes right at him (well duh) with right hands and a choke on the ropes as this is likely to be more of a fight than anything else. Kurt reverses in the corner and drives some shoulders into the ribs. The chinlock goes on early but Booker fights up and gets in a neck snap across the top.

Booker shrugs off a nearly desperation ankle lock attempt and drapes Angle over the top for the ax kick. Since that’s not big enough for a match like this, Angle posts him to take over again. Back in and Angle gets two off a suplex and we hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors. That’s broken up as well and Booker hammers away, only to crotch himself on a side kick attempt. Angle pounds away in the corner before putting on the waistlock to keep Booker down.

Booker gets back up and hits a spinning kick to the face as Angle is cut on the forehead. The ax kick and Angle Slam are countered so it’s the Book End for two on Angle. The comeback is on though as Angle rolls the German suplexes and nails an overhead belly to belly. Another Angle Slam is countered into a small package…for a very fast pin in what might not have been how things were supposed to go.

Rating: B-. The match was the usual upper midcard/main event style stuff but the story is just so disturbing in a lot of ways that it loses most of its positive value. Booker needed to be a little angrier here, but at least he started out aggressive, which is more than a lot of people seem to understand in this kind of a story. Odds are we’ll see this again, but hopefully without the need for a shower inducing Angle promos.

Post match Sharmell runs out as Angle beats up Booker some more. Angle pulls out the handcuffs but Booker makes the save and cuffs Angle to the ropes. Sharmell slaps the heck out of him and kicks him low for the feel good moment.

Boxing legend Roberto Duran is here.

Tazz has keys to victory in the I Quit match. #3: Don’t quit.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich

Heidenreich is challenging after beating Jordan in a non-title match on Smackdown. Hold on though as Heidenreich needs to find a new friend. This time it’s a young girl named Alex who screams a lot. She sits in a special chair (which looks rather unspecial) and he reads a poem about looking for friends in Minneapolis and wanting to hear the Heidenreich chant. Jordan dropkicks him through the ropes to start and stomps away in the corner with more aggression than usual.

Heidenreich doesn’t like Jordan yelling at Alex though and hammers away, only to get sent outside for his efforts. A belly to back suplex gets a very delayed two and we hit the neck crank. Heidenreich fights up and does his walk to start the comeback, including the pummeling in the corner. Jordan kicks him in the face and grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two more. A drop toehold sends Heidenreich throat first into the middle rope and a DDT retains the title.

Rating: F. It’s the United States Title and they can’t come up with ANYTHING better than this? Heidenreich is the big goofy face and you have him lose clean in five minutes? Jordan is just such a vacuum of charisma and the title is dying more and more every day he has the title. I know it isn’t in great shape at the moment, but they can’t find anyone else to fight over the thing?

Post match Alex helps Heidenreich up.

JBL talks about how lives are broken in a fight and you are no longer a man if you quit. A few years ago Cena was in the stands cheering for whoever JBL was beating for a championship. Tonight Cena has no backup plan and he’ll quit to the wrestling god.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. They had been partners but Eddie started to get jealous over the fact that he couldn’t beat Rey. Then Chavo Guerrero got in Eddie’s head and told Eddie that Rey would never be family. The two of them got in a few arguments until Eddie fully turned on him as he went completely over the edge. Now Rey wants revenge as Eddie needs to prove that he can beat Mysterio. This has been incredible stuff from Guerrero, who keeps falling further and further into the jealousy and it is going to near perfection.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Rey has bad ribs coming in. Eddie tries to sneak up on Rey as he prays in the corner so Rey slugs away as it turns into an early fist fight. Some kicks to the ribs and shots to the head have Eddie in more trouble. They head outside and Eddie whips him into the steps and then the post for a bonus. We’ll add the announcers’ table too as Eddie stays on the bad ribs. Another drop onto the table has Rey in real trouble but the referee pulls Eddie off of him.

They head back in as the EDDIE SUCKS chants are in full swing. Eddie shouts down at Rey and there’s a belly to back suplex to bang up the ribs some more. The abdominal stretch goes on for a good while before Eddie plants him face/ribs first with a reverse powerbomb. The bandage comes off of Rey’s ribs and it’s a half crab to work them over even more. Rey slips out and scores with an enziguri and they’re both down for a breather. A springboard dropkick gives Rey two and they’re both a little staggered.

Eddie dropkicks the knee though and puts on a full Boston crab. Now it’s an STF with Rey crawling as hard as he can to the ropes. With that out of the way, it’s time to go to the floor with Eddie loading up the steps. Rey saves himself with a ram into the post though and they’re both down again. Back in and they slug it out with Eddie doing his dance until Rey hits….a big boot? From Rey Mysterio? The springboard seated senton gives Rey two so he hammers away in the corner with rights and lefts.

The missed charge goes shoulder first into the post though and Eddie hits a top rope superplex to destroy the ribs even worse. Rey slips out of the Third Amigo though and a hurricanrana (with a leg around the body instead of the head) looks to load up the 619. Cue Chavo for a distraction though and Eddie grabs a chair, which is dropkicked into his knee. Rey takes Chavo down and hits the 619 on Eddie, but the West Coast Pop is chaired out of the air for the DQ.

Rating: B+. This worked incredibly well with Eddie’s mind breaking down more and more every second until he forgot why he was here in the first place and got disqualified instead of going for the win. The ending keeps the story moving forward too as you can’t have Eddie win here and Rey pinning him has been done before. This advances things and gives Rey a reason to want revenge while knowing he can still beat Eddie. Well booked and well wrestled, but did you expect anything else?

Post match Eddie chairs him down and Rey has to be helped out.

We recap JBL vs. John Cena. JBL lost the title to Cena at Wrestlemania but has since been obsessed with the idea of getting the title back. He sees Cena as a poor champion because Cena is a street thug so it’s a match where someone has to give up, with an I Quit match. This is likely to be the violent showdown that Wrestlemania wasn’t, and that’s a good thing.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and this is an I Quit match. JBL, with the older title design, comes out in the limo so Cena rides out on the back of a flatbed truck, which features a turntable on the back. They trade some long form armbars to start until an armbar sends JBL bailing to the floor. A suplex brings him back in but he pounds Cena in the back to block a backdrop. JBL DDT’s him for a cover, though not for a count because, you know, there aren’t any in this match.

Things head outside with Cena sending him face first into various things before going into the crowd. A swinging neckbreaker onto the concrete doesn’t have much effect on Cena so it’s back to ringside. JBL grabs the mic and demands that Cena quit so Cena slugs away, only to get sent into the steps. Just like on Smackdown, JBL grabs a belt and whips away, followed by a choke around the post.

With that broken up, JBL loads up a powerbomb through the announcers’ table but gets backdropped through the other instead. Cena throws him across the other table so JBL comes up with the Eddie Guerrero chair to the face. The bloody Cena staggers to his feet so JBL hits him with the steps and mocks You Can’t See Me. The Clothesline From JBL connects and so does the second for good measure.

Now it’s time to choke with a chain as Cena is in big trouble. There’s a low blow to cut Cena down again but JBL talks too much trash, allowing Cena to initiate the finishing sequence. The FU connects so JBL takes a walk, with Cena following and sending him into the limo. Another swinging neckbreaker drops Cena onto the hood, which is now covered in blood too.

JBL chokes him with a cable and Cena is COVERED in blood with one of the nastier cuts I’ve seen in a long time. He won’t quit though and sends JBL face first through a TV to bust him open too. A suplex onto the top of the limo makes it even worse…so JBL tries to get inside the limo. That’s fine with Cena, who pulls him back and sends him into the open door a few times.

When it doesn’t break, Cena takes it off and drops it on the hood, meaning it’s time to go to the flatbed truck. JBL is sent into a C02 tank but is fine enough to hit a DDT onto the bed for the double knockdown. Cena uses a microphone to knock JBL off of a speaker and through the table as JBL can barely walk. With nothing else working, Cena grabs an exhaust pipe off of the truck and goes over to JBL….who quits out of fear.

Rating: A-. I’ve always loved this one as Cena looked like the warrior and the conquering hero who JBL completely underestimated what he was capable of doing. Cena needed a win like this and he looked like a champion here, which isn’t something that he had done before. This was a big step forward for him and the definitive end to the feud with JBL. Great match, better performance from Cena, and a heck of a blade job.

Post match Cena knocks him through a glass wall anyway and poses, COVERED in blood, to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The shorter run time (just over two and a half hours) helps this one quite a bit as those last two matches, which eat up about 40% of the show are both great and more than enough to make up for a lot of the problems with the other stuff. The two big matches being that good aren’t exactly a surprise and Booker vs. Angle was good enough to carry the rest of the show. Just don’t watch Jordan vs. Heidenreich ever again. Check out the two main events if you have time as they both hold up very well. The rest….eh just watch Wrestlemania again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 19, 2005
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and most of the card has been set. We could be in for a good show on Sunday with the two biggest matches looking solid, though there isn’t much underneath them. I’m not sure what to expect from this week’s show but I don’t exactly have my hopes up outside of Eddie Guerrero’s rapid fire loss of sanity. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Kurt Angle invading Sharmell’s dressing room last week and attacking Booker T. who failed in a rescue attempt. Cole asking what Angle did to Sharmell behind closed doors doesn’t bode well.

Opening sequence.

It’s Carlito’s Cabana to get things going. Carlito recaps last week’s edition, including Big Show turning down his offer and eating a poison apple as a result. Back in the arena, Carlito talks about having trouble getting the stains out of the Cabana’s carpet. Now though, Big Show has challenged him to a match on Sunday, which Carlito has accepted.

However, he isn’t coming into the match alone because he has a new bodyguard: Matt Morgan. Cue Morgan, who stutters so much that he can’t really say yes. Carlito: “You want some water?” The joke is so funny that he tries three times before going with a simple ok. So yes, he’s officially Porky Pig. Anyway here’s Big Show for the brawl but Morgan chairs him down and gets out with Carlito.

JBL goes to the inner city to explain to some kids why John Cena, and various rappers, are all about. Rappers belong in jail because they are thugs, just like Cena. JBL lists off some lyrics, which even approve of premarital sex. JBL is taking the title on Sunday and helping America.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

JBL kicks him in the face at the bell and drops the elbows. A swinging neckbreaker gets two but JBL charges into a boot in the corner. Scotty hits a superkick but JBL bounces off the ropes with the Clothesline. That’s not enough for JBL so he hammers away in the corner and that’s a DQ.

Post match JBL says he doesn’t care because nothing can stop him in three days. For tonight though, Scotty has the chance to quit but refuses to, meaning JBL punches him even more. JBL finds a belt and whips Scotty on the announcers’ table, eventually choking Scotty into saying he quits.

John Cena threw out the first pitch at a Red Sox game.

Booker yells at Theodore Long about what Angle did last week. There won’t be a match with Angle tonight though because he has been banned from the building. Instead, Booker can face Mark Jindrak, but that isn’t cool with him. Angle will apologize tonight, but that’s not enough for Booker.

Post break, Jindrak comes up to Sharmell and talks about Angle having a fetish for…..you know…..gutter sl***. This turns into an argument over whether or not Jindrak thinks she is one, so here’s Booker (who is rather lax about his wife being alone after last week) to beat him up. Booker knocks him into the arena and busts Jindrak open….as the match is starting now.

Booker T. vs. Mark Jindrak

Booker hammers away in the corner and hits the scissors kick. The referee tries to pull Booker off, allowing Jindrak to get in the big left hand. That’s enough for Booker, who comes back with the Book End and the ax kick for the pin.

JBL tells the Bashams to beat up John Cena tonight and promises to be out there with them. Long comes in and says he can’t get involved with the threat of a fine. Short, to the point, explained the situation. Why is that so hard to do so often?

Video on the awesome Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio feud. Eddie’s face and eyes last week were outstanding.

Here’s Eddie, still carrying Rey’s mask, for a chat. It takes a little time for Eddie to say anything so he stares at the mask, throws it down and stomps on it. He leaves without saying anything in another good segment.

Clips from the Judgment Day press conference.

Heidenreich vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title and COME ON ALREADY. Hang on though as Heidenreich has to find a new friend. His quest includes a song and a quick dance, which is more charming than it should be. Jordan says hang on because you don’t keep the champ waiting. No one likes Heidenreich and after he loses, no one will want to be his friend.

Jordan stomps away and hits a clothesline to start, followed by a knee to the head. The hammering continues as Heidenreich pulls himself up, only to get stomped back down. We hit the chinlock until Jordan lets go to shout about it, allowing Heidenreich to get up and do his fist pump dance. A big boot gives Heidenreich two so Jordan pounds him down again. That’s about it though as Jordan charges straight into the Boss Man Slam for the fast pin.

Rating: D-. This one is bad just due to the people involved, though Heidenreich is FAR better in this role and the march could have gone somewhere in the long term. He just needed to stop being so serious and have his wrestling time cut down by about 80% and things get a little better. Why was that so complicated?

We look at Angle vs. Booker/Sharmell over the last few weeks.

Judgment Day rundown.

Joey Mercury vs. Hardcore Holly

Half of Sunday’s title match so Johnny Nitro and Charlie Haas are here too. Mercury hiptosses him down a few times to start so Holly goes with the chops in the corner. A neckbreaker (complete with a camera motion) gives Mercury two and we hit the neck crank. Mercury lets that go and gets crotched on top, setting up the top rope superplex. The backdrop into the dropkick sets up a full nelson slam but Holly won’t cover. Instead it’s a top rope clothesline for two and the Alabama Slam for the clean pin to put Mercury away.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of win that you need to give Holly from time to time and before the title match made it even better. The team has no chance of winning the titles on Sunday so giving them a win could help a little bit. I mean, it can only get so far but it’s better than not trying.

Raw Rebound.

Nelly thinks Cena is a talented rapper.

Kurt Angle is at WWE Studios in Connecticut where he has to give an apology to the fans, Booker and Sharmell. Last week was a mistake but you have to understand. He was on fire after Wrestlemania and it should have been a formality before he was WWE Champion again. Booker stopped that so Angle needed to get revenge but he went too far. So yeah he’s sorry.

Now that they have what they’ve wanted, it’s about what he wants. Angle wants Sharmell to admit that she is a gutter sl**, because he saw proof last week. He and Sharmell kissed last week when the door closed and she liked it. Sharmell molested and fondled him….and they both loved it. This Sunday, Angle is going to make Booker scream for a different reason. Then after dominating Booker, he’ll dominate Sharmell and show her how to do a real Spinarooni.

Booker superkicks a TV with Angle’s face on it. That promo was so uncomfortable that it damaged a television.

John Cena is reading JBL’s financial book, which includes chapters on diversifying your portfolio, making Orlando Jordan’s hair stand up (Cena: “THERE’S A PICTURE!”) and how to say I Quit when John Cena is beating you up. Cena says he isn’t a wrestling god but he is…..Josh Matthews: “A prophet! A street prophet!” Cena takes the mic and sends Josh away, saying it was as sad as JBL’s sex life. See, Cena can respect JBL for his success but on the streets, you never quit, and Cena won’t quit on the people.

John Cena vs. Bashams

Non-title and JBL is at ringside. Cena takes over on Doug to start by grabbing a headlock and running him over. Danny comes in but Cena is smart enough to bail to the floor before some cheating can ensue. Things settle back down with Doug hammering away but getting taken into the corner for choking from Danny and yelling from JBL. Another knockdown sets up the chinlock so JBL grabs the mic and demands that Cena quit.

Doug gets in a cheap shot to cut Cena down again and more JBL shouting ensues. A belly to back suplex gives Danny two but Cena fights up and grabs the rope to block a DDT attempt. JBL shouts more and more as some suplexes put Cena down. Cena blocks a double version though and slugs away, setting up the ProtoBomb on Doug. The FU finishes Doug for the pin after a bit more sweat than you would expect.

Rating: D+. JBL’s shouting was annoying but it was also the only thing that mattered int the match. The Bashams were nothing more than lackeys here and that’s a good role for them. The match wasn’t anything of note because it wasn’t like there were many options other than this or JBL running in for the DQ. Not a good match, but it was fine for a short form build.

Cena stares JBL down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show built around the stories and the good outweighs the bad 2-1 with Eddie being incredible, the battle of the John’s being better than expected and Booker vs. Angle just being creepy. The wrestling wasn’t great though as a Hardcore Holly match and a Heidenreich match is a little too much. It made me want to see Judgment Day more than I did earlier though so they’re going in the right direction. Just do more of the good and less of the bad, which is pretty much a universal rule.

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