Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1997 (2013 Redo): Maybe My Least Favorite Match

Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,525
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

The opening video is about Shawn of course. Expect to hear that name a lot tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. HHH

A guillotine slows Goldust down and apparently two fans who have sat in the Alamodome for weeks for the show have been thrown out. Gee, I wonder if Super Shawn can help them out. An uppercut gets two on HHH and Goldust laughs a lot before being knocked to the floor. HHH goes up top (!) and dives down onto Goldust to send him into the barricade. The jumping knee misses Goldust though and HHH hits the steel to change momentum again.

HHH hits the jumping knee for two but hurts his own leg in the process. Goldust lariats him down but gets crotched on the top for his efforts. After shoving HHH off, Goldust misses a top rope elbow and the title is thrown in. HHH kisses Marlena but gets blasted by the belt for two. A Hughes distraction is enough for HHH to hit the Pedigree to retain.

Bret whines about being a marked man tonight. You could feel the heel turn coming and it was going to be glorious.

Mankind, another newcomer, is ready for the Rumble but he wants to hurt people instead of go to Wrestlemania.

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

Post match Ahmed chases off the Nation and powerbombs a member through the announce table.

Faarooq yells at the Nation actors for bailing on him. He says this is just beginning.

Undertaker vs. Vader

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Take six guys, throw them in the ring for ten minutes to pop the crowd. I just hope I can remember which is which. Metal vs. Garza to start. Ok so Metal is in the yellow and black tights. Got it. They speed things up to stat before quickly hitting the mat. Off to Aguayo vs. Estrada who is in the white tassels. Perro chops Jerry down and backdrops him out to the floor.

The attendance is announced and no one really cares.

Royal Rumble

Austin dumps Phineas as well and is alone in the ring to face Bart Gunn at #6. Bart gets in some offense but is gone in about thirty seconds. Austin sits on the ropes until Jake Roberts is #7. The music sounds really different in the big stadium setting. Jake pounds away and works on the arm a bit and hits the short clothesline, but Austin backdrops him out to counter the DDT.

The Sultan (Rikishi) is #10 as the ring is finally getting a crowd going in there. Sultan and Pierroth fight on the ropes as Austin is sent to the apron. Pierroth tries to slam Sultan like an idiot as the match continues to be dull. Mil Mascaras, Mexican legend, is #11. He FINALLY gets a reaction as he beats up on Sultan a bit. Sultan belly to bellies him down and we get some of the legendary no selling from Mascaras. HHH is #12 and there goes Sultan via Bulldog.

Bret stays on Austin and hits a backbreaker as Fake Diesel (you know him better as Kane) is #23. The good thing here is that Kane actually looks like Diesel from about ten feet away and is nearly identical from behind. Razor looked like a bad Halloween costume. Diesel goes after Hart before slowing down to let Austin do the work. Terry Funk is #24 to give us a very strong lineup in there at the moment. Funk is sent to the apron but Hart makes a save, earning him a punch to the ribs from Terry.

Taker sends Mankind out a second later to get us down to five. Vader beats on Taker as Austin does the same to Diesel. Bret throws Austin out to a HUGE pop but the referees were breaking up a fight between Mankind and Funk. Austin slides back in, dumps Vader and Taker, then dumps Bret who just eliminated Diesel, and Austin wins the Rumble!

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

We hit the reverse chinlock again but Shawn fights up with right hands. He slams Sid down and hits the forearm to set up the nip-up. The top rope elbow hits but Shawn is knocked to the floor before the superkick can hit. Shawn gets powerbombed on the floor so Sid grabs both Lotharios. That goes nowhere so Shawn pounds away even more. Dang he popped up fast after that powerbomb.

Shawn celebrates for a LONG time to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

HHH vs. Goldust

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ahmed Johnson vs. Farrooq

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Vader vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Original: F

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

That overall rating surprised me. How could I go that high after nearly the same grades leading up to it?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/17/royal-rumble-count-up-1997-bret-hart-uh-make-that-austin/

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1997 (Original): The Homecoming

Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,325
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

A lot has changed here for once. We’re about as close to the Attitude Era as you can get without actually being in it. The roster is now far closer to being set to what would become the Attitude Era. Bret vs. Austin is in full swing as they had their forgotten classic at Survivor Series. Also we now have guys like Mero and Farrooq, but more importantly, people like Mankind and Rock are here now, so the core is here now.

As you might have noticed, we’re in Shawn’s hometown in front of a massive audience. Shawn recently lost the title, so I wonder how tonight is going to end. This is around the time that WCW is just flat out dominating in the ratings. Raw is averaging I think a 2.0 at this point, and they’re happy with it. It was just flat out bad all around, and you could tell the WWF was in a free fall. This show is actually kind of co-promoted with AAA, the Mexican organization.

The problem with this is simple: WCW had a deal with every bit of good Luchador talent in the world, so Vince got the bottom of the barrel here for the most part. Anyway, this is an oddly remembered show, so let’s get to it.

The preshow had three matches with Luchadors, including minis, which included Mini Vader and Mini Mankind. I give up.

The intro is of course about Shawn, who clearly can’t be blamed for the ratings tanking. I’m being partially serious there, as there was no one that was going to be able to take on Hogan and the NWO at that point. They say that tonight isn’t about accolades, just that WWF Title thingamajig. That twangy music is going to make me punch someone before this show is over. We have French announcers here for some reason.

Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Goldust

Goldust is freshly face here, which granted no one gets including the announcers but whatever. HHH has been climbing the ladder recently, as his push is back on after the Curtain Call aborted it. In short, allegedly the Austin push was supposed to go to HHH, but there was the incident at Madison Square Garden. What happened was it was Nash and Hall’s last night with the company, so after Shawn beat Nash in a cage match, the four of them broke kayfabe and hugged.

I’m sure you’ve all seen the footage. Nash and Hall were leaving, Shawn was the company at that point, so there was just HHH left to take the fall. Instead of becoming the big deal in June, he had to wait about 6 months before it happened. I’m not sure I buy that, as Austin’s popularity would have been there anyway. Granted it was the KOTR match against Roberts that gave him Austin 3:16, and without that there’s no Austin super boom, so maybe it wouldn’t have happened.

See what a single promo can do for you? Anyway, HHH had been having different women on his arm every time he came to the ring and he went after Marlena. This set off Goldust and actually got Lawler to ask him on live television if he was a queer (Lawler’s word). This set him off and as HHH tried to steal Marlena, Goldust snapped and we have a title match. HHH has Mr. Hughes with him as his new bodyguard.

Chyna would debut the next month to shoot him to the stars. Even with two great in ring workers like these, we go straight into a brawl with the steps being used. Security has thrown out two fans that were sitting there for weeks apparently. I’m guessing this is a stupid angle or something and I really could care less. Can we please stay in the ring longer than 45 seconds? Ross and Vince both point this out.

Both of these guys will be in the Rumble tonight apparently. They’re now doing a bunch of leg work which is an upgrade I guess. It’s still not interesting but it’s better I guess. Hughes has done absolutely nothing at this point. Goldust calls him a piece of garbage which even today would be a bit much. This is more or less all Goldust working on HHH’s knee at this point, which at least is a story but it’s odd seeing the face dominate here. HHH gets a one knee curtsey. He was in his blueblood/classical music phase here, which I’ve always thought was an incredibly underrated heel character.

In the middle of this match, let’s throw it to Todd and some country singer that I’ve never heard of before. He sings a bit on a split screen. You have to be amazed by what Vince will do for a celebrity draw. This has improved a bit but it’s still nothing special. Hughes, who I had forgotten about, throws the IC belt to HHH who kisses Marlena. Goldie pops HHH with the belt but Hughes makes the save. After more Hughes distractions, Goldust walks into the Pedigree and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This started off bad and then worked its way up to being ok. I don’t like the steps etc. but overall, this was ok. It needed to be about 5 minutes shorter though. HHH was far from what he is today and while he was a rising star, he just wasn’t ready for this long of a match yet. It was coming, but he wasn’t there yet.

We get comments from one of the WEIRDEST pairings you’ll ever see: Bret Hart and Mankind. They both say tonight will be a long night. DAng that’s just weird thinking about them in the same company, let alone doing anything together.

Farrooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

I love the Nation’s entrance. PG-13 were great at what they did, which granted wasn’t much but it worked. This was supposed to be the blowoff match between these two but they were both injured at one point or another so the match never actually happened when it was supposed to, making this way after it meant anything. The Nation was freaking massive at this point, even having actors hired to make it look even bigger.

That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Johnson tried to get a catchphrase of You’re Going Down out of this but it didn’t work at all. Basically they’re fighting over Ahmed not being black enough or something like that. He was supposed to get the world title so there you go. This was actually a decent little feud, but it needed to happen 4-5 months earlier than this. Since it’s 1997, this starts on the floor in a big brawl. I love Vince Russo. Ok not really.

We go to another big wide shot which I can’t stand as Ahmed whips Farrooq with a belt or something like that. The problem with this match becomes apparent quickly: Ahmed isn’t that good. He never was. He was a huge muscle guy that could be a cool looking powerbomb, period. He was WAY over though at least for awhile, so there’s little complaints that can be made here. Naturally this is mostly brawling but that’s neither here nor there.

Simmons goes after Ahmed’s kidney of course because only one part of anyone’s body can ever be injured at once. We’ve got a Cowboys jersey on the non camera side so I’m happy. Ahmed hooks a powerslam from the top to take over. The spinebuster from Farrooq ends that pretty quickly though.

After Ahmed no sells that, the Nation runs in for the cheap DQ. Naturally since they all suck, Ahmed destroys them with relative ease. After Farrooq runs, one of the Nation members who doesn’t have a name goes hand first into the steps and then gets a release butterfly powerbomb through the French announce table.

Rating: D+. This was pretty bad, but it was supposed to be a street brawl or something so it did that fairly well I suppose. There’s very little here to go on and it wasn’t what it was supposed to be as a blowoff match. They would go at it a few more times without Johnson getting a clean win that I can remember. Not a bad fight, but this just didn’t have a ton of interest in it.

Terry Funk says he was born for this and is Texas bred.

Todd is with the Nation who says it’s not over. You can see an almost afro wearing D’lo brown in the background.

Vader vs. Undertaker

If you’re looking for a story here, you’re wasting your time. I mean literally, this was thrown on the card without a story. Vader had been attacking Taker a bit in huge groups but never on his own. I guess it was just kind of a big match thing to it, so there we are. Taker beat up Cornette a few weeks ago but it wasn’t directly referenced as a reason for the feud. Taker’s entrance is just made of awesome.

I mean if there was a thong of awesome, it would be made of Taker’s entrance. Ross says that Taker hasn’t done well at the Rumble since his debut here in 1993. Ok let’s see. In 1991 it took both members of the Legion of Doom to eliminate him. In 1992 it took Hulk Hogan to eliminate him. In 1993 a guy interfered and eliminated him. In 1994 it took 10 men to beat him in a world title match. In 1995 he beat IRS clean.

In 1996 he beat Bret Hart, who was then WWF Champion. In other words, he’s been in three world title matches and in a way has gone 1-1-1 in them, lost in the Rumble twice which I consider to be ties, and won another match, giving him a record of 2-1-3, with the one loss being in a cheating fashion and the other by a guy that wasn’t in the match. Yep, he completely sucks here Ross.

Why can’t they ever get the years right either? For years I remember them saying he debuted at the 91 Survivor Series, which obviously isn’t true either. Naturally, Vader’s offense isn’t working that well against Taker as he keeps sitting up. Taker hits a Fameasser of all things. Who would have seen that one coming? Taker gets a slam and makes it look easy. His strength was completely overlooked a lot of the time.

We get a verbal jab from Ross at Hogan, saying that no one in company history has dropped a leg like Taker. Old School is countered and we’re both down. After a low blow from Vader, we throw it to Todd in the crowd with some girl that apparently follows Shawn Michaels around the country. I’m not saying a word on this one. We now return you to the PPV at hand.

Jerry points out slyly how completely freaking stupid that was to do in the middle of a match, showing that he’s the second coming of Bobby Heenan. He throws in a Kentucky reference to make it even better. This is more Taker than Vader here. His power is just freaking scary to say the least. He throws Vader around more than once, including a very solid looking chokeslam.

Just as Taker signals for the Tombstone, the ONLY former Wrestlezone admin allowed to work for WWF, Paul Bearer hits the arena as pale as ever. Taker puts Vader on the floor and goes after Paul. Vader saves Uncle Paul but gets knocked to the floor by Taker again. Vader gets control again on the floor with Bearer apparently aligning himself with Vader.

BEARER GOES AIRBORNE!!! He jumps at Taker with the urn and actually takes him down! That was freaking AWESOME!!! This allows for the Vader Bomb to end it as Taker actually is pinned in something close to being clean. That hardly ever happens. He beats up the referee afterwards.

Rating: C+. Taker looked great here. Vader was dominant to an extent, but he never once came close to doing anything special after Shawn beat him at Summerslam 96. After that he began a decline into eventually being a jobber which is never fun.

Taker’s power was insanely impressive here as he hit all kinds of big moves that you just don’t see done on Vader like ever. This was impressive to me. Vader getting the win was good as Taker certainly didn’t need it and Vader might have gotten the biggest win of his WWF tenure.

Austin says he has nothing to say about the Rumble, which takes longer than it takes Bulldog to say he’s going to win because he has success in Rumbles and he’s bizarre. I have no idea what he means there and can only guess he botched a line or something like that. It was bizarre indeed.

Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera vs. Perro Aguayo/El Canek/Héctor Garza

I’ve only heard of three of these guys so naturally I just don’t know anything about REAL wrestling. I think this was an attempt to cash in on what WCW was doing at the time with the luchadors, but at the same time, of the five with known ages, two of them are under 38 years old at this point. See, it’s hard to compete with guys like Rey Mysterio, Juventud Guerrera and Ultimo Dragon with you have guys that literally could be their fathers wrestling.

We start with Garza and Metal as Vince can’t remember who is who. I think the referee is from AAA as well. Ok, so I’m done with the match at this point, and instead of a recap, I’m going to go with just what I noticed as a whole since I know nothing about these guys or why they would be fighting etc. First of all, old guys do not make for very exciting matches. Aguayo was a flat out embarrassment out there. He could barely move and blew a ton of spots including the end (his team won).

Second, Canek is strong as all goodness, but he used at least 5 gorilla press slams in this. One or two are fine, but when you’re getting up into that many, it shows your offense is limited at best. Monty Brown had this problem. Third, this was just boring as all goodness. See, this was one of the first matches of this style ever in the WWF.

When WCW busted this stuff out, they had Rey Mysterio, the undisputed king of that style here in America. When he debuted in WCW, he tore the house down. Here, the people were asleep. I mean this was the most dead I have ever seen a crowd. This didn’t work at all.

Rating: F. I already explained this. It was just a waste of time as well as bad.

With literally no transition, we’re at this.

Royal Rumble

We’re back to 90 seconds again this year, because having that lucha match was FAR more important than the match the show is named for of course. Crush of the Nation is first and Ahmed is second. I just can’t believe that at all! Apparently Crush has longer odds of winning than Ahmed. Why would that be the case? They start at the same time. If nothing else Ahmed is at a disadvantage because he doesn’t get a short break while the other guy is walking to the ring.

There’s a sign in the crowd saying WWF: Wild Wacky Fun. Well ok then. Crush jumps him, even though he had no advantage at all according to Ross. Vince calls Ahmed the wrong name. The crowd isn’t hot here but they’re certainly awake and paying attention unlike the previous match. Granted it’s just the first two. Also the clock isn’t working at first, so we don’t have a countdown or anything like that.

3 is the fake Razor, who has no music because of the clock but it doesn’t matter as Ahmed ends him after about 15 seconds. Lawler points out Ahmed’s tights that would never die. Those things always rode up and it was annoying. Farrooq is in the entry way so Ahmed jumps over the top rope, eliminating himself to go after him. That made me shake my head. Phineas Godwin (Mideon) is next.

Sweet goodness I love Hillbilly Jim’s music. Austin is #4. Now remember, here he’s still just a midcard/semi main event heel that runs his mouth a lot. He hasn’t actually won anything yet and we haven’t had the I Quit match that catapulted him into superstardom. Think of the Miz when he went after Cena. He was loud and great on the mic, but no one bought him because he hadn’t done anything yet.

As of this writing (2 weeks before Survivor Series) he’s the US Champion and looking far better than he ever has before. He’s believable with the belt, which is all he needed to be. Austin gets very little reaction here mainly due to the clock which keeps people from knowing when someone is coming, and the reasons I just listed. Anyway, he and Crush team up but that doesn’t work and Phineas takes out Crush.

He turns around into a Stunner though and after some trash talking, he’s gone. Bart Gunn is fifth. He lasts about 30 seconds, although he hits what would become known as the Fameasser. Austin even does the Steiner pushups as he’s just cocky.

You can see all the classic mannerisms and awesomeness inside of him just dying to break through. Jake Roberts is sixth, and remember he’s the guy Austin beat for the King of the Ring and the reason for the 3:16 speech. Ross says Jake wants one more shot at glory. When did he ever have glory in the first place? He was a career midcard guy that is remembered for having the best finisher ever.

Bulldog is seventh and while he’s on his way Jake is thrown out. Apparently Bulldog hates Austin, which I don’t entirely remember. He hits a modified powerslam that’s completely ignored by the announcers. The best wrestler ever from England his what is undeniably his signature move and no one says a word about it. He was supposed to have been made a big main event level guy and even get the title at one point, but Vince was in so much financial trouble that he changed him mind.

That’s why you had Sid as champion. It was originally going to be Smith, which I think would have certainly been more interesting. Smith got the first ever European Title as a compromise, so in other words he got the very short end of the stick. He certainly would have been better than Sid as Sid just wasn’t very good in the ring while Smith could work a great match if he was in there with the right guy. He and Owen are tag champions here also.

Pierroth, another luchador, is next to no reaction again. He’s 39 here. Vince, GET YOUNG GUYS IF YOU INSIST ON DOING THIS! We get our first bit of information about one of the new guys: Pierroth is a rule breaker. See, that helps a lot. Not being sarcastic there. We’re told that by people who are supposed to have insight on the subject, so therefore we trust it. The Sultan (Rikishi) is 10th as we’re going fast here but it’s kind of working.

Considering Pierroth is a heel, he’s only going after other heels. Actually, all four of them are heels so never mind. 11th is Mil Mascaras. Now he’s old, but he’s a flat out legend. He would be like Ric Flair here in America, with Blue Demon as Austin and Santo as Hogan. Also, he gets a pop and a half, easily the biggest of the match so far. I’ll adjust what I said earlier to Vince: get old guys that are well known in America, like this one.

Mascaras is also known for no selling stuff, even for big names like Foley who criticized him to no end in his book, as did Jericho. There it is already as Sultan hits a belly to belly and Mascaras pops up almost immediately. HHH is twelfth as this thing has been flying by. To recap, we have Smith, Sultan, Austin, Mascaras, HHH and Pierroth at the moment. Bulldog puts Sultan out to clear us out a bit but 5-7 is fine to have in there.

Austin and HHH go at it which just feels right. Owen is in at 13. He and Austin go at it as we’re not getting a ton of reactions here. The crowd is ok, but not great at all. Scratch that, as Austin is nearly out and the crowd waked up. Bulldog almost puts him out but Owen dumps Smith to tick him off. These counts definitely aren’t 90 seconds. Goldust is 14th. For some reason we don’t cut to him when he enters. That’s very different.

Mascaras’ tights are covering his belly button. That just looks odd indeed. Cibernetico gets us to the halfway point. He’s 20 years old so if nothing else he should be able to fly pretty well. He’s really well known for having a unique style that a lot of indy guys use. Marc Mero starts the second half as Cibernetico is thrown out. Pierroth gets thrown out by Mascaras, who jumps out after him, which based off everything I can see was a legit mistake.

The fans are booing the heck out of it too. Goldust puts out HHH. We have Mero, Owen, Austin and Goldust here. Seventeenth is Latin Lover, who has what looks like the Playboy bunny on his tights. He’s considered a rip off of Shawn, as the names are similar and both use the superkick. It’s allegedly just a coincidence but whatever. Apparently Mero and Sable aren’t fighting anymore. Thanks for the update.

Owen throws out Goldust and Farrooq ia 18th. He puts Latin Lover out. Austin and Farrooq go at it which could have been a sweet feud. Ahmed runs out with about an 8 foot long 2×4 and beats on Farrooq a bit, as he eliminates himself. Austin puts out Owen and Mero and we’re down to just Stone Cold. He’s quickly joined by Savio Vega who had a bad feud for awhile. Austin puts him out with about his 5th clothesline of the night in less than 30 seconds.

That’s his 6th put out of the night. Road Dogg (called Jesse James here) is 20th. He lasts a bit longer but still less than a minute. The Outlaws were coming soon though, saving his career. And there it is: in the moment of the match, Austin is looking down as the buzzer goes off, and it’s Bret Hart.

The look on Austin’s face absolutely makes this match. It is so perfect as he’s like OH SNAP as Bret not quite power walks down to the ring. Austin says bring it on, Bret does just that. The fans are, in a word, insane for this. The scary thing is, despite having a classic at Survivor Series and a classic moment here, their next match would blow this out of the water.

In a very funny spot, Lawler is 22nd. He leaves by saying “It takes a king…” and then gets in the ring. Bret punches him out in 4 seconds, and his first thing back on the mic is “to know a king.” That was awesome. Fake Diesel (Kane) is 23rd. Now he actually could have worked, simply because he looks a lot like Diesel if you avoid close-ups of his face. He beats both guys down as we’re way too close to the end already.

Terry Funk is 24th as X is happy. He almost had gotten fired for cursing like Terry Funk would on Shotgun the previous night. Shotgun was a GREAT idea for what it was: an “adult” show that was broadcast from a different place in New York every week. It was way ahead of its time but in the next year or so it would be average which is what killed it. Rocky Maivia is next. He’s a rookie here, but DANG look at the talent in there.

All world champions, all eventual hall of fame members (yes, Kane belongs in there). We add to the talent with my all time favorite wrestler: Mankind. In an interesting note, other than Hart, Foley has been tag champions with everyone in the ring. That’s impressive to me. It’s very rarely seen, but Austin has a tattoo of Texas on his left calf. I’ve never seen that before. Flash Funk (2 Cold Scorpio), a pimp without being called one, is 27th.

It’s a shame he was old here, as he was one of the most talented guys I’ve ever seen. We up the ante a bit more with Vader here at 28. Lawler is back to his hatred of Bret Hart which never gets old. Austin goes for Vader and is promptly killed. A funny bit to this match is Lawler “forgetting” he was in this match. To bring the awesome run of talent to a screeching halt, Henry Godwin is 29th.

I know I haven’t recapped much here, but there haven’t been a ton of people in the ring at once until the end here so there wasn’t really a need for it that I saw. The clock runs down, and the lights go out. A gong sounds, and the fans ERUPT. Taker is apparently a hero here, as they tease him turning heel. That wouldn’t happen for almost two years so it doesn’t matter.

At the moment, we have Austin, Hart, Fake Diesel, Funk, Rock, Mankind, Flash Funk, Vader, Henry Godwin and Taker. Which of those just doesn’t belong? Notice a big key here: a clear winner doesn’t exist.

Bret would be the most likely candidate, but there’s no guarantee it’ll be him. Taker winning wasn’t out of the question, Vader got a big win earlier and had beaten Bret on Raw recently, Austin was always a wildcard, Mankind had been more or less unstoppable recently, and Rock was the golden rookie. See what I mean? There are legit options in there other than Bret, which instantly makes this more interesting than last year’s ending.

Austin takes a chokeslam in a rivalry that will flat out never die. Taker punching the man that would become Kane just feels right. Dang that would happen in less than a year. Vader puts out Flash as Rock punches Taker. There are just a ton of awesome matches in there. Other than Godwin and arguably Flash (if he was given his original gimmick: a tough fighter that could fly like a cruiserweight, he could have been a big deal in the company.

Think AJ Styles, but 4 inches taller, a bit heavier and black and you have Scorpio. He’s 32 here, so it’s not like he was some old guy at the time. He’s younger than Austin. Godwin calls a spot to Taker. Austin has done a ton of those tonight, but the beauty of his character is you can very plausibly say he’s just talking trash to the guy he’s beating on. Rock and Bret Hart go at it and that was weird to type.

It’s a total dream match but that might be the most they’ve ever gone at it. In a spot that I really liked, Godwin hits Taker in the back and Taker rises up, grabs him by the throat and gives him a look that says, “Boy are you CRAZY???” and throws him over with EASE. Taker was scary strong.

Ok, so to recap, we have eight people left. Of these 8, counting WCW/NWA/WWF reigns, you have the following: 37 world titles, 17 midcard (US/IC) titles, and 40 tag titles. That’s not counting anything from ECW (either incarnation) or Foley’s TNA stuff, the Streak, the 13 Wrestlemanias they’ve main evented, or the 6 combined Rumble wins of these guys.

Think of it like this: on average, these guys all have about four and a half world title reigns, 2 midcard titles and 5 tag titles, just from WWF/WCW. That’s INSANE. Anyway, Foley puts out Rock as Vader beats on Kane which is an interesting match. Ross says that Foley and Funk are great athletes. There’s something amusing about that. They’re both gone but they brawl to the back anyway just because it’s fun for them.

Also, because it allows for a very interesting ending. The referees are trying to get them to stop fighting, and while they do it, Bret throws Austin out clean. Key to it though: the referees DO NOT see it and Austin slides back in. He throws out Taker and Vader on his own (impressive), just as Bret throws out Diesel.

Austin dumps Bret, and wins the Rumble. The people are TICKED, but not as badly as Bret. He goes insane and with complete justification. He says he’s tired of getting screwed, and the heel turn can be seen inside of him. Bad opening, awesome ending.

Rating: C+. Like I said, the beginning of this isn’t that great. They saved the best for last though as the last third of this field is insanely amazing. You could see Austin with the superstar inside of him just dying to break out and save the company, but it would take the buildup here and the career making performance in two months to get him and the company to the promised land in 15 months. They were really taking a chance here, and I think it paid off.

We get a short recap of Shawn vs. Sid, which is about having a bad attitude. I think you know where that’s going. Make that long. They recap the Survivor Series match and some other random fights which were pretty weak. Shawn says there will be 71,000 here. It’s more like 60,000 but whatever. The crowd looks awesome if nothing else.

Shawn, who apparently has the flu, says that he’ll step up when it matters and Sid is a coward or something like that. Again he says there are 71,000 there and that’s just flat out not right. We see Shawn and Jose coming to the ring. Shawn is wearing sleeves without a shirt, but the sleeves are made of tiny mirrors, as are his chaps. Nope, he’s not self obsessed at all. You can hear the pop already.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid took the title from Shawn after working for him for a little while. He hit him with a camera at Survivor Series and took the belt after beating up Shawn’s old manager, Jose. He became the only person to beat Hart and Michaels in this era which completely boggles the mind. In a REALLY cool shot, we follow Shawn and Jose through the back and then through the curtain so we almost see it from his perspective. It looked awesome.

The pop is all there too as Shawn is the complete hometown hero. Some fan has a REALLY loud whistle right next to the mics and it’s annoying. For once in his miserable announcing career, Vince doesn’t talk over a cool intro which is nice. Sid starts coming through the back and the heat is there already. Based on the crowd reaction, this should be at least very good. I love Sid’s music. The ticked off fist pump he did was cool also.

For some reason whenever there’s a neon light it makes his hair look green. The pyro was cool too as it was his name on fire above the ring. If only he could have a decent match to save his life he would be a lock for the Hall of Fame. They have the stare down and the crowd pops. Jerry and Ross show their chemistry until Vince decides that such nonsense cannot occur so he interjects himself into it, which can be translated into JR and King can get a line in here and there if they’re lucky.

For the sake of preventing a riot, Shawn takes control early. It’s a brawl to start us off, which is fine I guess. Shawn is playing Superman here. Shawn in the red and blue wouldn’t work though. Not sure why, but it just wouldn’t at all. Ok, we’re two minutes into the match and Sid is using a camel clutch. Oh this is going to be a long match isn’t it?

Psycho Sid might be the most indy name I’ve ever heard in my life. Apparently this is the last time Jose will come to the ring with Shawn. That’s good to know I guess. We’re still in the camel clutch by the way. I’m getting tired of these bad timing things that I keep doing. Sid is of course working on the back, apparently to set up for the power bomb.

It’s not like the bomb works exclusively on the back. It works on everything at once. You just get dropped through the air and stop really fast. How much back work needs to have been done?

We go to another rest hold since Sid has a higher quota of them than Orton does for chinlocks. Sid taunts the crowd and beats on Shawn some more. We’re in a bearhug now just to make sure that the crowd is as dead as possible to set up the massive pop for the comeback. To be fair though, the crowd never really slows down at all. Vince suggests that Shawn is the underdog.

You mean the CHAMPION that beat the CHALLENGER might be favored? Get this man a Pulitzer. Actually just name it the Vince. That’s never going to be topped, ever. Sid hits a leg drop that I don’t think he used until he had his bad feud with Hogan in 92. Despite having had his back worked on all match, Shawn hits a relatively easy slam. Ross points out how odd this is as Shawn starts his standard ending sequence.

Sid avoids the kick and we’re on the floor now. He hits the power bomb on the floor and the announcers declare Shawn dead. Sid grabs Jose and Jose’s son, so Shawn pops up. Naturally, I mean he was just dropped about 9 feet onto near concrete so why not be up in 9 seconds? Back in the ring the referee is out as Sid hits his chokeslam (called a goozle or something like that by Vince). Shawn gets out of the count from referee numero dos.

He gets popped by Sid so thanks for coming. To cap off the mini feud, Shawn pops Sid in the back like Sid did to Shawn at Survivor Series. Sid doesn’t go down, so Shawn waits for him to turn around and….taps him in the chest with it…to get the cover and a two count. Chin music ends it and the massive celebration is on. We keep cutting back to Jose’s son for no apparent reason other than to be annoying I guess. He’s just a pest for some reason. He looks like a slacker.

Ross says that there’s a lot of class in Shawn. The I Lost My Smile speech would be in less than a month so take that for what it’s worth. Shawn hugs a guy in a Calgary Hitmen shirt. I love that. We plug the next PPV (without a name, it would be called Final Four which was a good show) and we’re out to more Shawn worship.

Rating: C+. It could have been worse. That’s the answer I’m going with here: it could have been worse. This was really just a way to hand Shawn the title back in a big match. It had me thinking of Cena vs. Jericho at Survivor Series 2008, where it was really just a token title match to get the belt back on Shawn. There’s nothing wrong with that and this was fine for what it was.

If you were expecting Sid to keep the belt here, I’d recommend a head operation. I have no idea what kind but just a general one would do. Like I said, Shawn would forfeit about a month later and the #1 contenders match scheduled for Final Four would become for the title.

That night was supposed to be Sid vs. Shawn 3 with Shawn winning and dropping the belt back to Bret at Mania 13, allegedly with a Sharpshooter where Shawn’s leg would be “broken” complete with sound effects, leading up to Shawn winning the series 2-1 at Summerslam and getting the title back to drop to Austin. Granted that’s all according to Bret so take it with a bottle of salt.

The feud got thrown out when Shawn made a reference to Bret having Sunny Days ahead or something on TV, which more or less outed Bret as sleeping with Sunny to his wife and the company, so Bret challenged Shawn to a fight I think and Shawn conveniently hurt his knee up and lost his smile between the two matches. Anyway, the match was ok but not great so there we are.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s an aspect I’ve touched on but not directly talked about here that makes this a weird show and that’s the crowd. As you all know, a crowd can make or break a show. This crowd did neither and it kind of parallels what I thought of it. The crowd here was silent a lot, but when they got into something they got into it hardcore. That fits really well here, as all night long this show either really worked or completely bombed.

The opening stuff is just ok, Vader/Taker was just a good old fashioned fight, the six man was just completely horrid, I liked the Rumble, and the main event was what it was. I think this is one of those shows where what it sets up is far more important than the show itself, but that part was still pretty good. If you’re a fan of this era, check out the Rumble and the main event and maybe Taker vs. Vader (definitely if you’re a Taker fan as he looked great in it) but pass on the rest as it’s just bland.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




NXT UK – January 7, 2021: The New Star

NXT UK
Date: January 7, 2021
Location: BT Studios, London, England
Commentators: Andy Shepherd, Nigel McGuinness

We’re back to the regular shows after two weeks of Best Of editions. They’re back in a big way too with both a #1 contenders match for the Women’s Title and the debut of Ben Carter. Granted Carter is going to be debuting on a talk show but that just means that he is getting into modern wrestling because EVERYONE needs a talk show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jinny vs. Piper Niven

The winner gets Kay Lee Ray at some point in the future. They slug it out to start with the much bigger Niven driving her down into the corner for some stomping. Jinny gets out though and hits a running clothesline in the corner. That just earns her a crossbody to send things outside and Piper hammers away. Jinny sends her knee and face first into the post though and Niven has to roll back in.

The Iron Octopus has Piper in more trouble and Jinny elbows her in the back of the head. Piper muscles her up and drops back for the break as Joseph Conners of all people comes out. A hard belly to back suplex and some clotheslines have Jinny in trouble with a low crossbody getting two. Jinny rolls out so Niven loads up a flip dive, only to have Conners take the bullet for her. Back in and Piper picks her up again, only to have Conners pull the leg to give Jinny the rollup pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. Jinny winning to set up her match with Kay Lee Ray is a little weird but what’s worse is bringing Conners into it. He hasn’t been as annoying since the relaunch but it hasn’t exactly been the best stuff either. Maybe it can be better this time, though it’s hard to imagine it being a thrilling addition to whatever they’re doing.

Pretty Deadly knows Gallus doesn’t want them in the tag division but they have the champs’ attention. Mission accomplished.

Aoife Valkyrie says the birds don’t try to be perfect. They just are. This oddly worked coming from her.

Tyler Bate talks about how he needs to change some things. Bruce Lee said “be like water” so he needs to go deep within and find his raw, pure self expression.

Sam Gradwell sees the advice and says the only yogi he knows steals picnic baskets.

It’s time for Noam Dar’s Supernova Sessions. Dar talks about how he has some goals this year, including all the titles, Most Humble, Most Handsome, the lead role in Marine 475, and Trish Stratus’ phone number. His guest is Ben Carpenter (Carter), who Dar asks about his woodworking abilities. Carter clears up his name so Dar yells at his producer because he has seven questions about wood work.

Carter is happy to be here because he wants to face the best. Dar is ready for that but here’s Jordan Devlin to interrupt. Why is Carter on the show before Devlin is? Devlin understands what Carter is about and that’s fair enough but Devlin is the Cruiserweight Champion. Dar says go become the real champion and his people will talk.

Carter is on Devlin’s side and says Devlin is as good as he says….so he should have no problem with Carter getting a title shot. Sounds good to Devlin, who says let’s do this tonight. Carter is game and Sid Scala comes out to say they can make the match official (while making it clear that they had a main event and are swapping it out because this show is smart).

Kay Lee Ray isn’t worried about Jinny because the title belongs to her.

We look at Levi Muir and Jack Starz beat Saxon Huxley but got beaten down as a result. Dave Mastiff made the save.

Dave Mastiff vs. Saxon Huxley

Huxley slugs away to start but Mastiff hits him a good bit harder. A running knee to the ribs and a backsplash give Mastiff two but Huxley is right back with a Thesz press. There’s a running knee to Mastiff’s head and a top rope clothesline gets two. Mastiff backdrops his way out of an armbar and throws him down again for two of his own. Another clothesline sets up Into The Void to finish Huxley at 4:44.

Rating: D+. It’s nice to see Huxley get beaten up and crushed like that in the end so things were a little better. Commentary mentioned Mastiff vs. Rampage Brown so we could be in for a good hoss battle in the near future. Mastiff is good at what he does and they kept this short, which was the right way to go.

Video on Walter vs. A-Kid. Walter respects what he has done but this is a different level. A-Kid disrespected him by acting like he represented this ring so it’s time to pay.

Cruiserweight Title: Ben Carter vs. Jordan Devlin

Carter is challenging in his debut but Devlin slams him down to start. Devlin’s wristlock is reversed with a lot of spinning and Carter takes him down into a headlock. Back up and Carter flips out of the corner, ducks under a charge and dropkicks Devlin outside. The dive is broken up and Devlin stands on Carter’s hair. With that not working, he switches to the head and Carter is in early trouble.

Carter gets back up with a sunset flip for two and he sends Devlin into the buckle. A springboard missile dropkick rocks Devlin but a right hand knocks Carter off the top and out to the floor. That’s fine with Devlin as he sends Carter into the steps for two back inside. They both hit crossbodies at the same time and it’s a double knockdown.

Back up and Devlin is sent outside, allowing Carter to hit a moonsault into a Nightmare on Helm Street on the floor. That sets up a swinging suplex for two back inside so Devlin grabs a Spanish Fly for the same. Code Red gives Carter two more but Devlin pulls him into the Cloverleaf. That’s broken up with a grab of the rope so Devlin hits the Kawada kicks into the Devlin Side for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: B. The point here was introducing Carter and showing that he could hang at this level, which worked out rather well. I was thinking they might have Carter win in an upset here, but giving Devlin another win is a good way to go also. Carter showcased himself well here and he’s going to be fine at this level and beyond long term. I’m curious to see how far Devlin can go and after this reign, it’s hard to imagine he doesn’t get a UK Title shot.

Overall Rating: C+. That main event is the match that you need to see and all that matters here. They have a new star around here and Devlin continues to move very close to the top of the depth chart. The future is looking bright around here and Walter getting back in the ring next week is only going to make it better. Nice show this week, which feels like the norm most of the time.

Results

Jinny b. Piper Niven – Rollup

Dave Mastiff b. Saxon Huxley – Into The Void

Jordan Devlin b. Ben Carter – Devlin Side

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




NXT – January 6, 2021: I See No Evil

NXT
Date: January 6, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Beth Phoenix, Wade Barrett, Vic Joseph

It’s a huge night this week with the absolutely stacked New Year’s Evil card. The main event is Finn Balor defending the NXT Title against Kyle O’Reilly in a Takeover rematch, which should be a heck of a fight. Other than that, we have a hoss fight between Karrion Kross and Damian Priest, plus the Cruiserweight Title on the line. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Dexter Lumis, our host for the evening, is in the empty arena to start things off. He goes to the control and hits some buttons to mess with the lights before turning everything on. What a great way to draw in viewers! A guy pushing buttons in silence!

Damian Priest vs. Karrion Kross

Scarlett is here with Kross and this is a grudge match after Kross returned and Priest said he’s in if Kross wants a fight. They go with the hard lockup to start and fight out to the floor without breaking it up. Back in and Priest kicks him into the head and starts slugging away but Kross knocks him down as well. A running clothesline in the corner has Priest in trouble again and the t-bone suplex gets two.

We hit the double arm crank for a bit before they go out to the floor. Priest kicks the steps out of his hands and slugs away back inside, even managing to kick Kross down. A spinning suplex gets two on Kross and it’s time to crank on the arm, including a reverse cross armbreaker. They trade kicks to the head until Priest hits a springboard flip dive to take him down again.

That just earns him a running clothesline for two and Priest is put on the top. The super Doomsday Saito is broken up though and a Razor’s Edge out of the corner gets two. Kross breaks up the chokeslam onto the apron so Priest knocks him to the floor for the big dive. Back in and a kick to the face sets up South of Heaven for two on Kross.

That doesn’t really keep him down as it’s right back up for a powerbomb to Priest for two more. It’s back to the floor with Kross powerslamming him onto the steps to mess with the ribs even more. Back in and Priest tells him to bring it, earning himself the Doomsday Saito and a running forearm to the back of the head for the pin at 15:29.

Rating: B. They gave us what they advertised here by having two big, strong people beat each other up for fifteen minutes. Priest losing is fine as Kross seems destined for the title scene and it’s not like losing to a former NXT Champion is going to hurt him. Good opener here, with Priest looking good on his way down and Kross looking even better.

The Undisputed Era is ready for their first round Dusty Classic match against Breezango. They may be entertaining but the Undisputed Era is that much better.

Cruiserweight Title: Gran Metalik vs. Santos Escobar

Escobar, with Legado del Fantasma, is defending and Lince Dorado is here with Metalik. They start fast with Metalik snapping off a hurricanrana out to the floor. Back in and a double springboard hurricanrana takes Escobar down again, setting up the big dive to the floor. Escobar kicks him in the head but a rope walk hurricanrana is mostly botched and they fall to the floor.

Back from a break with Escobar dropping him ribs first onto the turnbuckle. The surfboard goes on for a bit, followed by a clothesline for two. Metalik gets in a superkick into a reverse Sling Blade to send Escobar outside again. That means another step up flip dive, followed by a top rope splash for two back inside.

Escobar knees him out of the air though and now it’s Metalik getting crushed by a dive for a change. Back in again and Escobar almost knocks the mask off but Dorado has to take out the rest of Legado. Metalik’s next hurricanrana gets two but the top rope elbow misses. The Phantom Driver retains the title at 12:26.

Rating: C. There wasn’t much drama here and that’s a good thing, as Escobar isn’t going to drop the title to someone coming down from Raw for a two match run. Metalik wasn’t great here either as some of his stuff wasn’t hitting and he used that hurricanrana quite a few times. Not bad, but it wasn’t quite memorable.

Mercedes Martinez doesn’t care that Io Shirai is the Competitor of the Year. She wants the Women’s Title and she’s waiting on the champ.

Xia Li vs. Katrina Cortez

This is Li’s, with a masked man, return after being trapped in a kung fu torture movie for a few weeks. Li kicks her down to start and hits some knees to the ribs. Cortez’s strikes are shrugged off and a big kick to the face finishes for Li at 1:27. Li, especially the finish, looked awesome here.

William Regal regrets to inform us that Timothy Thatcher is injured, meaning the Fight Pit against Tommaso Ciampa isn’t happening. The match will happen when Thatcher is healthy.

We get a special look at Bronson Reed, who promises a colossal 2021 and thinks Rhea Ripley wins tonight.

Rhea Ripley vs. Raquel Gonzalez

Last Woman Standing. Ripley dropkicks her into the corner to start and hammers away with right hands to the head. Back up and Gonzalez blasts her with a clothesline, followed by the fall away slam. Gonzalez cranks on the arm and kicks away but talks a bit too much trash about their matching tattoos. That means they go out to the floor with Ripley busting out the kendo sticks to put Gonzalez in some pain.

Gonzalez chairs her out of the air though and hits a hard whip into the barricade. The handcuffs are brought in but Ripley gets them away and attaches her to the barricade. That’s fine with Gonzalez, who rips them off and hits Ripley in the face. Ripley is sent face first into the bell and a backdrop onto the edge of the announcers’ table (geez) puts Ripley down again. Ripley makes it back in and we take a break.

Back with the Gonzalez hitting her in the face with the steps on the stage and then kicking Ripley down the steps. They fight to the back with Ripley spearing her through a glass door. Gonzalez is laid on a table and hits a Swanton off a box to drive her through it. Cue Dakota Kai with a kendo stick though and Ripley is in more trouble. That’s fine with Ripley, who kicks Kai into a locker and puts an anvil case in front of her for a nice trap.

Gonzalez and Ripley go back to the stage with Ripley grabbing the Prism Trap and choking with a chair. That’s broken up though with Gonzalez kicking her into the lighting structure. Ripley goes into the LED board (messing it up for a bit on the process) and it’s the one armed powerbomb to drive them both through the stage for the huge crash. Gonzalez is the only one to climb out for the win at 18:04.

Rating: B+. These two beat the fire out of each other and that’s all you could ask for here. The only thing that worries me is Ripley losing AGAIN because that seems to be the case almost all the time these days. The ending looked great though and Ripley locking Kai in a locker was funny so the whole thing was a success. Ripley almost has to be heading to the main roster now though right?

The Way, with a police escort, arrives for their latest celebration. They get in the ring, where something is under a sheet for them. Johnny Gargano talks about reversing the curse last week, just like the Cleveland Browns. Gargano: “YO CANDICE! I DID IT!” Candice is proud of him and has a plaque commemorating the curse being broken.

Austin Theory and Indi Hartwell offer their own praises and have a gift for him: a portrait of the Way as superheroes. Gargano is touched and announces that he and Theory are entering the Dusty Classic. Cue Shotzi Blackheart with the tank, which she fires at Theory’s crotch. As Theory is writhing in pain, here’s Kushida to go after Gargano. Lumis shows up to ring the bell.

Johnny Gargano/Candice LeRae vs. Kushida/Shotzi Blackheart

Gargano and Candice, in street clothes, rant on the floor before Shotzi kicks Candice in the head to start. We take an early break and come back with Shotzi getting kicked out of the corner as Lumis sits on commentary in silence. Blackheart snaps the arm down and it’s off to the men to pick up the pace.

Kushida goes for the cross armbreaker but Gargano gets his foot on the rope. Candice comes in for the save and offers to fight Kushida herself but Blackheart cuts her off in a hurry. Gargano and Candice are knocked outside so Shotzi can hit a big dive onto LeRae. A Theory cheap shot gets him pulled inside and kicked down, leaving Kushida to grab a rollup for the pin on Gargano at 9:05.

Rating: C. I’m still looking forward to both singles matches but this was just kind of there as a tag match. I love the Way’s wacky devotion to Gargano and Candice sells everything rather well, but the matches are only ok for the most part. Nothing too bad here, but not exactly must see stuff.

Takeover is back on Valentine’s Day.

The Dusty Classic is back next week, with the Undisputed Era vs. Breezango and the Grizzled Young Veterans vs. Ever-Rise.

William Regal announces the first ever women’s Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. That could actually work.

NXT Title: Kyle O’Reilly vs. Finn Balor

Balor is defending and they’re both on their own. After the Big Match Intros, O’Reilly shoulders him down to start and Balor touches the previously broken jaw. A headscissors doesn’t go anywhere and it’s the threat of a kick to the head to shake Balor again. The second headscissors keeps Balor down and O’Reilly starts in on the arm. Balor tries to get up and grabs an abdominal stretch, sending O’Reilly to the ropes, which he bites for the break.

The trainer checks on O’Reilly’s mouth but Balor pulls O’Reilly into a headlock to stay on the jaw. O’Reilly fights up and starts in on the arm, including twisting it around the ropes. Balor goes back to the jaw and then stomps away, setting up a Crossface. That sends O’Reilly feet first to the rope for a change so Balor elbows him in the face and drives the forearm into the jaw.

Back up and O’Reilly kicks him down and goes for the arm, earning another shot tot he jaw for a breather. Balor hits the kick to the head to send O’Reilly outside and he has to beat the count. O’Reilly gets back in and it’s time to go after the leg, earning O’Reilly another kick to the face. Balor goes right back to the Crossface and hits the Sling Blade into a jumping stomp to the chest.

The shotgun dropkick puts O’Reilly in the corner but Balor gets crotched on top. A superplex into a brainbuster gets two and it’s back to the arm. A foot on the leg gets Balor out of trouble, even though his eye is cut. O’Reilly charges into a kick to the side and collapses, allowing Balor to put on something like the Rings of Saturn with a Crossface to make O’Reilly tap at 17:27.

Rating: A-. These guys were fighting an uphill battle as they had to live up to some unbelievable hype. Somehow they managed to have a heck of a match with Balor going after the jaw to mirror what happened last time. There wasn’t a lot of drama about the winner, but watching these guys beat the fire out of each other for about eighteen minutes was all you needed, and Balor looks all the more ready for Kross.

Medics and the Undisputed Era check on O’Reilly as Balor poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This lived up to the hype and that’s a heck of a trick given how much this show was built up. You could have passed this off as a slightly weaker than usual Takeover and it would have worked just fine. There are some very good matches up and down the card and a limited use of Dexter Lumis makes everything better. Check this one out as it was a great show, with the main event and Last Woman Standing being some hard hitting fights.

Results

Karrion Kross b. Damian Priest – Running forearm to the back of the head

Santos Escobar b. Gran Metalik – Phantom Driver

Xia Li b. Katrina Cortez – Spinning kick to the face

Raquel Gonzalez b. Rhea Ripley – Ripley could not answer the ten count

Kushida/Shotzi Blackheart b. Johnny Gargano/Candice LeRae – Rollup to Gargano

Finn Balor b. Kyle O’Reilly – Rings of Saturn with a Crossface

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: A Legendary Lack Of Logic

Believe it or not, WWE did something stupid.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-legendary-lack-logic/




Dynamite – January 6, 2021: The New Year Is A Smash

Dynamite
Date: January 6, 2021
Location: Daily’s Place, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Excalibur, Chris Jericho, Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

We’re back to something close to normal after last week’s incredible tribute show. Now it’s time for the first half of the New Year’s Smash event, featuring Kenny Omega defending the World Title against Rey Fenix. That alone should be worth everything else and hopefully it lives up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

SCU/Young Bucks vs. Acclaimed/Hybrid 2

The Acclaimed rap their way to the ring again, saying they’re the John Cena guys and SCU are Jannetty. Daniels and Bowens start things off and everything breaks down in a few seconds. Triple dives take out the villains, leaving Kazarian to flip over Bowens’ back. The Bucks come back in for the pop up dropkick to Jack Evans and Nick Jackson hits the springboard armdrag/headscissors combination to the Hybrid 2.

There’s the big corkscrew dive for a bonus but Bowens breaks up the Arabian Moonsault onto the pile. The Acclaimed starts in with the double teaming on Daniels, including a basement dropkick for two. It’s off to Angelico to work on the arm, setting up a belly to back suplex/springboard double stomp for another near fall. Bowens hits a Blockbuster into Castor’s top rope elbow into Evans’ 450 into a double arm crank from Angelico.

The Blue Thunder Bomb plants Bowens and gets Daniels out of trouble though, allowing the hot tag to Kazarian. Everything breaks down again and Matt gets to clean house with the flips, followed by a spear to take down Angelico on the floor. There’s another dive to take out Angelico and Castor, setting up a top rope splash/standing moonsault combination for two on Bowens.

The Buckle Bomb into a double enziguri sets up a slingshot legdrop for two more as Jericho is losing it on the near falls. Kazarian and Nick combine for the BTE Trigger and another near fall, setting up Angelico’s swinging Downward Spiral. Evans’ 630 hits raised knees so the Bucks superkick everyone. The Meltzer Driver is broken up so Nick dives onto the pile on the floor. The Best Meltzer Ever finishes Castor at 10:00.

Rating: C+. The action was good and they were flying around well, but I really could go for a breather from these multi team tag matches. There are so many people at once and it gets a little more confusing than it needs to be. It was still good enough, but it’s not something that is going to stand out.

Post match Kazarian says he and Daniels have the Bucks’ back, at least until they’re challenging for the titles. Hands are shaken.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Here’s Jon Moxley for his first in-arena appearance since losing the World Title. A lot of people expect him to be out here ranting and raving but he is used to a hard time. That is what he is getting again, but this time he is gritting his teeth, battoning down and getting back into it. Moxley promises to go after Don Callis and Kenny Omega to leave them bloody with a crowbar. As for tonight though, Omega is defending against Rey Fenix, and Moxley isn’t going to interfere with Fenix’s destiny. That isn’t it for Moxley and Omega though, because Moxley has forever.

Chuck Taylor says Trent is going to be out 4-5 months with a torn pectoral muscle. Cue Miro, with Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford, to laugh at him. The time off means that Taylor is out of action for the same 4-5 months, with Miro saying he can be a young boy. Miro has an offer: they can face each other next week and if Miro loses, he’ll leave. If he wins though. Taylor has to be Miro’s young boy until the wedding. Taylor can’t accept fast enough.

Jake Hager vs. Wardlow

Earlier today, Wardlow promised to take care of his family and Hager at the same time. They go to the grappling with Wardlow managing to survive and get back to an armbar. Wardlow takes him down again and it’s time to get serious. Hager takes him into the corner for rights and lefts but Wardlow is out in a hurry. They crash into each other and fall to the floor, meaning we take a break.

Back with Hager being sent into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. A spinebuster plants Hager again and a suplex slam gives Wardlow two. The F10 is broken up and Hager hits a bunch of clotheslines in the corner. Wardlow sends him out to the apron though and then into the barricade. Back in and Wardlow hits the Swanton but Hager rolls into the triangle. Hager choke some more and takes him all the way to the top. That lets Hager grab the head and arm on the top, only to get sent into the turnbuckle. The F10 finishes Hager 10:35.

Rating: B-. These guys beat the heck out of each other and that’s all they needed to do here. Wardlow is going to get a lot more out of the win than Hager would have gotten so they had the right result. I’m not sure if this is going to be it for these two, but Wardlow winning is the best thing possible.

Respect is begrudgingly shown post match.

Private Party can’t get the gin and juice right so here’s Snoop Dogg to give them the drink. Hugs ensue and Matt Hardy pops in to say that he has Private Party’s new contracts. Private Party has to give Matt 30% of everything but they get their Twitch and Cameo and all that good stuff. Works for them, so they sign.

It’s time for the weigh-in between Brian Cage and Darby Allin for next week’s TNT Title (with the new design debuting) match. Cage weighs 272lbs and Allin is 170, so Taz laughs at Allin’s gear weighing him down. Allin says he knows how this ends so let’s get rid of the garbage and get to the good part. Cue Sting for the save so Team Taz leaves, with Taz swearing a new champion next week. Sting and Allin stare at each other a lot.

MJF hears Hager freaking out and has to place peacemaker. Hager calms down and looks a good bit happier.

We look at Marko Stunt meeting -1 on Dark and getting insulted.

Jurassic Express are ready to get the Tag Team Titles back but here’s FTR to provoke Marko. He promises to win next week and has to be held back.

Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Sydal

Snoop Dogg is here with Cody. They run the ropes to start with Sydal kicking him in the leg and snapping off an armdrag. As Snoop does an Arm Anderson imitation (with the play card), the running dropkick in the corner gives Sydal two and Cody is sent out to the ramp. Sydal hits the top rope Meteora for two and they head back inside, where Cody’s skinning the cat is broken up. They’re outside again but this time Cody accidentally hits Serpentico with a right hand before being torn back inside. Sydal hits the high Crossbody but Cody rolls through into a Texas Cloverleaf.

The rope is grabbed though and we take a quick break. Back with Cody hitting a reverse superplex for two but Sydal is back with a jumping knee to the face. The shooting star press hits knees but Sydal spins around, looking to set up the camel clutch. With that broken up, Sydal kicks him in the head, only to have a Cactus Clothesline put them both on the floor. Back in and they try a standing switch until Sydal jumps on his shoulders for a hurricanrana. The Lightning Spiral gives Sydal two but Cody ducks the jumping knee. Back to back Cross Rhodes finish Sydal at 10:02.

Rating: C+. This was one of Sydal’s better matches in AEW and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise. Cody has a habit of being able to make people look better and while Sydal doesn’t often look back, he isn’t the most interesting. Snoop Dogg was the point here and he got to show off the unique charisma on the floor, which is probably the best thing he could do.

Post match the Chaos Project comes in to jump Cody but Snoop makes the save and hits a top rope splash (or something far, far from one), with Sydal counting the pin.

Women’s Title: Abadon vs. Hikaru Shida

Shida is defending and gets jumped on the ramp. That’s fine with Shida, who cracks her in the head with the kendo stick, but Abadon pops back up. They get inside with Shida hammering away as we get the opening bell. Abadon gets knocked to the apron so Shida kicks at the head and hammers away.

They head outside with Abadon biting the thigh and then dragging Shida underneath the ring. Abadon comes back out first, followed by Shida….whose neck is rather bloody, ala a few weeks back. They head back in, with Abadon slamming her head into the mat. We take a break and come back with Shida pulling Abadon up top for a superplex. Abadon pops back up with a big clothesline but Shida grabs a rollup for two. Shida’s running knee retains the title at 8:27.

Rating: C. Abadon is certainly freaky enough to get your attention, but my goodness Shida is one of the least interesting people going today. She has a weird outfit and hits running knees. Is there anything else to her that I’m missing? I’m not sure where her reign leads but it would be nice to see her moving on to something else in a hurry.

Here’s what’s coming next week, including Tay Conti challenging Serena Deeb for the NWA Women’s Title.

Conti promises to win because she’ll have the Dark Order with her.

AEW World Title: Kenny Omega vs. Rey Fenix

Fenix is challenging and Omega has Don Callis in his corner. Omega goes to the hammerlock to start so Fenix snaps off flying mare. That earns him a spike hurricanrana so Fenix is back with a hurricanrana of his own for the escape. Omega is sent outside for another hurricanrana from the apron into the big crash. Back in and Omega counters a tornado DDT before chopping Fenix out of the air to break up a springboard.

They head outside with Omega sending him into the barricade a few times, only to have Fenix hit a kick to the head. The rolling cutter is blocked though and the Snapdragon knocks Metalik silly. Fenix gets planted again, followed by being thrown inside for the Kitaro Crusher. The chop off goes to Omega but Fenix starts kicking away, setting up a double springboard dropkick. Omega falls to the floor and Fenix hits the big running flip dive.

Back in and Fenix hits a moonsault into a German suplex for two, followed by a springboard double stomp to the back of Omega’s neck. We take a break and come back with an exchange of kicks to the head for a double knockdown. Omega hits the V Trigger but Fenix gets out to the ramp.

A Callis distraction lets Omega get in a shot of his own but Fenix is right back with the Fire Thunder Driver for two more. The frog splash hits Omega’s raised knees and Fenix is in trouble again. Fenix gets to the top and kicks Omega away, only to flip dive into a tiger driver. The V Trigger connects for two, followed by the One Winged Angel to retain the title at 17:50.

Rating: B. That catch off the ropes was worth the watch alone and these two had a great match to go with it. Fenix is such an amazing high flier and it’s always worth seeing whatever he is doing. There was no drama about a title change, but just seeing Omega in the ring feels like a big deal so it’s a fine choice for a main event.

Post match Omega and Callis get in the ring and say they have a bonus in mind. They beat Fenix, so now they can end his career. We cut to the back though where Butcher and Eddie Kingston have jumped Pac and Pentagon. Fenix goes after Fenix again but here’s Jon Moxley with the barbed wire baseball bat for the save.

Cue the Good Brothers (Karl Anderson/Doc Gallows), the Impact Wrestling Tag Team Champions, to take Moxley out. The Magic Killer plants Moxley so Omega unloads with the bat. Wrestlers start jumping the barricade for the failed save attempts and chaos reigns. Cue the Young Bucks to grab the bat….and then superkick Garrison and Pillman. Omega and the Good Brothers do the Too Sweet pose and the Bucks eventually join in to end the show. I know it’s going to get a great reaction but I’m not exactly thrilled in seeing the big heel stable again. It should wind up working though, as tends to be the case around here.

Overall Rating: B+. I’m digging where things are going around here for the most part as you can start seeing the pay per view card taking shape if you squint hard enough. The wrestling was rather good for the most part and they’re setting up the stuff when they need to. The ending is going to be a wait and see thing, but seeing a bunch of the bosses and their New Japan buddies on top isn’t quite thrilling. Anyway, pretty great show though, and I liked it a lot.

Results

Young Bucks/SCU b. Hybrid 2/Acclaimed – Best Meltzer Ever to Castor

Wardlow b. Jake Hager – F10

Cody Rhodes b. Matt Sydal – Cross Rhodes

Hikaru Shida b. Abadon – Running kneed

Kenny Omega b. Rey Fenix – One Winged Angel

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1996 (2013 Redo): Enjoy It While You Can Bret

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1996 (Original): There’s Something To This Shawn Guy

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

Well it’s a year later and the roster is more or less the same. There are a few changes though. The biggest is Shawn has finally given up and turned face thank goodness and Taker is back in the title hunt. Bret has the title again and is facing him in the main event. Other than that, there’s a few new guys but a lot of this is the same. Nitro has debuted so the war has almost started.

The rest of the card looks similar to what we had last year with all three titles on the line plus the Rumble and one other match, but this just looks miles more interesting for some reason. The Rumble roster still looks weak but far better than it did before. This flat out can’t be less interesting than last year so let’s go.

I almost forgot: Shawn has been out with a ton of injuries including the concussion kick from Owen and tonight is his big return, so that’s easily your biggest story of the night here.

Oh yeah and a guy named Hunter Hearst Helmsley debuted. A bald guy from Texas is here too. They’ll never mean a thing.

There was a preshow match with HHH vs. Duke Droese. The winner got 30 and the loser got #1. Amazingly, HHH lost so there we are.

Sunny is in a bathtub and says that tonight’s show is viewer discretion advised. My goodness she was perfect. Anyway, Bret vs. Taker is previewed, along with a few other matches. There’s a picture of Razor hitting a belly to back suplex off the middle rope on someone. That someone: Jeff Hardy. Oh yeah and there’s that Rumble thing too. Finally, there’s talk of some monster showing up tonight. Some guy called Vader I think.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed is a relative rookie here, having been around for just a few months here. In other words, this should be a slaughter. This is fallout from Jarrett breaking a gold record over Ahmed’s head at the previous In Your House. I love how I now have seen that match and reviewed it as it ties things together a bit. In case you’ve never seen him, Ahmed is a freaking tank.

He’s more cut up than Ezekiel Jackson and even scarier looking. The only problem was he wasn’t as talented either. He’s killing Jarrett though so there we are. He was supposed to become world champion actually but he couldn’t stay healthy. There have been a ton of clotheslines in this match to say the least. I don’t mean a bunch in a row, but a bunch over a fairly spread out period of time.

Why is it that when something happens it’s unbelievable to Vince? He saw it happen so apparently it’s not too farfetched. Johnson is hulking up. That can’t be a good sign. Jarrett continues to imitate Ric Flair without the success by getting Ahmed in the figure four. You know considering how awesome Ahmed was, this is just really boring.

After powering out of that, Jarrett goes to the top with the guitar and El Kabong is enough for the DQ. Ahmed just stood there and waited to get hit in the head. Jarrett leaves and of course Ahmed is up in about 18 seconds and not even shaking it off. That was odd.

Rating: D+. Uh yeah. I’m not sure what to say about this one as it just wasn’t that good at all. Ahmed wasn’t really sloppy, but he certainly was limited. I’m not entirely sure why they had Jarrett not get pinned here. He really had nothing to lose here as he would be gone less than ten months later. Ahmed was supposed to look great here but he just didn’t, plain and simple. This is more of a headscratcher than anything else.

Buy WWF stuff, t-shirts in this case.

Billy and Bart, looking straight out of the 70s and 80s say they’re going to keep their titles. My goodness they were so painfully bland it’s painful.

Diesel says heelish things despite still being a face officially I guess. He mentions not having a problem with Taker, and we have a feud on the rise.

Tag Titles: Smoking Guns vs. Body Donnas

Sunny was hotter than anything on the planet, period. The Body Donnas are Tom Pritchard and Chris Candido, more commonly known as Chris Candido. Sunny starts off in the ring by saying ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages. Holy stolen ring intro in a few years. Sunny of course gets the biggest pop of everyone. She’s 23 here and was screwing Bret Hart at the time, so there we are.

We get an upskirt shot of Sunny which leaves Perfect speechless. In case you can’t tell, no one cares about the match but only Sunny. She really was excellent at getting all of the attention on her which is very good to be able to do. The Guns are giants compared to the heels. After the Donnas desperately try (and fail) to take over, Sunny is knocked to the floor. The only good thing is a nice back shot but whatever.

Perfect: she could have been hurt! Vince: she may be hurt! Thanks for being original McMahon. Naturally she was faking (don’t you hate when women do that?) and the Donnas get the advantage. Vince calls Zip Flip so there we are: we have found a gimmick so bad that even Vince McMahon can’t remember their stupid names. In a cool spot, Zip hooks his partner in a gutwrench release powerbomb (think Jack Swagger’s move but he just lets the guy go) onto Billy.

That was different as Perfect says. Since this match has been the most intelligent of all time, we have another odd spot as Skip runs into Zip and Zip is knocked into Billy so everyone is down. It leads to the cold tag to Bart who cleans house. Vince says he hits Skip or Zip or whatever his name is. Since it’s 1996, we can’t have a regular ending, so instead the Guns hit the Sidewinder (backbreaker/leg drop from the top) but Sunny distracts the referee.

In a bad looking spot, Billy sees Skip on the top rope clearly, but goes after Sunny instead. It was one of those moments that wasn’t supposed to look bad but accidentally did. The Donnas go for a double suplex but Billy spears one of them so that Bart lands on the other guy for the pin. Yep, that was stupid.

Rating: D. This show really isn’t starting out well at all. This was somehow worse than the previous match. Literally, looking at Sunny is all that this is good for. The match itself is just bad, the booking is weird and the ending leaves something to be desired. The Guns would forfeit the belts in about a month due to injury and the Donnas would get them in a tournament just before Mania, as in about 20 minutes before.

We see a big thing of the Billionaire Ted skits. These were funny at the time, but allegedly they ticked off Ted Turner so much that he revamped WCW, so in essence they nearly killed Vince’s company. There we go then.

Recap of Razor vs. Goldust. In essence, Goldust wants Razor, as in the way I want Ellen Page, so that apparently made Razor put the title on the line. Yeah that makes perfect sense.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Goldust debuted the night before Ahmed so there we are. Hey did you know that Goldust is bizarre? We need to make sure you know that he’s bizarre. Vince says don’t adjust your televisions. I’ve never gotten that expression. How many people actually get up and adjust televisions? What was going to go wrong with it in the last 10 seconds or so since the last segment ended?

Are we supposed to believe that it wasn’t right before? Also, if you have a really fuzzy picture and you had really bad eyesight, would it eventually look normal? Apparently the noise at the beginning of Razor’s music is from screeching tires. What vehicle is making that noise? This is Marlena’s debut as well. She looked really good back at this point.

In a funny moment, Vince goes over the rules to how you win a title and Perfect almost yells about how he’s won the title twice so why does he need to have it explained to him? That’s a really funny point when you think about it very little. Goldy grabs Razor’s chest a few minutes in so there we go. When asked about what he would do against Goldust, Perfect replies with kick him in the face.

I love Mr. Perfect, if nothing else for the rampant sex jokes and innuendos he’s dropping here. At one point when they’re fighting on the floor someone shouts out that Marlena has a nice rack, which is very true. This match seems like it keeps starting and stopping. They’ll do a bit and then Goldust will go all freaky. That’s fine for character development, but it makes for some bad matches which is what’s happening here.

We do however get a cool spot as Goldust hits a slingshot belly to back suplex that I’ve never seen before. Other than that though, there’s just not a lot to talk about here. Finally Goldust takes over, but still there’s no flow to this match. It’s hard to put into words, but you would know what I meant if you say it. Something just doesn’t feel right about it as it just looks choppy for lack of a better word.

On top of that he keeps groping and molesting Razor. That’s just annoying. Can you imagine in wrestling related anything someone that was constantly making gay references and puns and actions? It would drive me crazy. Anyway, it’s a sleeper and a standard comeback by the face.

Oh the fans are mostly dead for this. No Monty Python jokes here by the way. After some Terri interference, the 1-2-3 Kid comes in and heads to the top for a spin kick that clearly misses but I guess the air from it knocks out Razor for Goldust to get the pin.

Rating: D. Uh yeah, this sucked too. I don’t get it. For the most part there’s been talented guys in every match but nothing at all has worked so far. Granted that could be because we’ve had three matches and zero clean endings. Is it that hard to let one guy cleanly beat the other one?

Anyway, like I said earlier this match just feels choppy and it really hurts things. There’s zero flow here and it felt like watching a video game being played where the guy controlling it was just hitting all of the moves he programmed in if that makes sense.

A bunch of people say they’ll win that don’t interest me. Shawn’s doctor says he’s ready to come back.

After the explanation of the rules from Vince (none given to the live crowd), we’re ready to go.

Royal Rumble

HHH is in first and second it Henry Godwin, now rocking the best music in wrestling history: Don’t Go Messin With a Country Boy. These two had a pseudo-rivalry around this time so this works pretty well. We’re back to two minute intervals which almost guarantees a better match. They imply that winning two in a row is almost impossible as Hogan is continually buried.

Backlund is third, completely in his crazy man Presidential candidate (don’t ask) gimmick. Also, how bad of a string of draws does this guy get? The more I see of this guy the more I like him. He’s just amazing considering his age. Backlund still has the Iron Man record at this point. Fourth is Jerry Lawler as I’m already loving these two minute intervals better.

There’s far more time to let people get settled in and it helps a lot. The heat on Lawler is nuts with the Burger King chants. Godwin breaks up a triple team and gets the slop bucket. Everyone gets it at once as they’re on the floor and now we’re back in the ring with a Gallagher reference. Fifth is Bob Holly to fill the jobber quota a bit more. Backlund is on the floor or something I think as he hasn’t been seen in awhile.

He’s not out but he’s not in the ring either. Oh there he is. HHH has jumped twice in this match, which is more than in this decade combined I believe. Mabel, who is still King, is in at 6. He’s gained even more weight here and it even less interesting of a character if that’s possible. HHH is compared to Shawn. Oh dear.

Jake Roberts, on the nostalgia trips to end all nostalgia trips (notice the word choice I used for Jake) is seventh to a solid pop. He lets loose the snake and throws it over Lawler who is of course terrified of snakes. How much of a creep was Roberts? The only people he ever fought were terrified of snakes. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, Lawler hides under the ring as Dory freaking Funk Jr. is #8.

No one knows who he is, which is likely because he’s 56 years old at this point. With the NWA dead at this point, Vince mentions their name on camera. No one has been eliminated yet so we have eight people in and you can recap it yourselves you lazy pests. Jake almost gets a DDT on HHH to a pop but it doesn’t work.

Terry Funk is apparently friends with Bruce Willis. Well ok then. Funk fights Backlund in one of the only encounters you’ll ever see where Bob is ten years younger than the guy he’s fighting. Yokozuna is 9th as we’re way too full here. Those are words I don’t think Yoko ever used. As Backlund has the chicken wing on Funk, Yoko dumps Bob easily to a big pop.

I think he’s just about to or just has turned face. The Kid is tenth as we hit double figures. This hasn’t been bad as it’s pretty clear they’re saving the big guns for the end, but dang those guys are staying in there a long time. It’s not exactly a bad thing, but I’m not sure if I’m sold on it or not.

Razor chases him to the ring as Godwin is eliminated to absolutely zero recognition. I had to rewind it to see where he went out at. Razor chases Kid around for a bit which means nothing in the end. Mo is very annoying to say the least. I think Shane was there as an official to get Razor to the back. Some Japanese wrestler named Omori is number 11. He comes out to the Orient Express’ music, and I don’t have a clue who he is.

Thanks to Wiki, he apparently has a pretty good resume. That’s fine and good, but again we have the same old problem: ALMOST NO ONE KNOWS THAT VINCE. These foreign guys are fine to bring in, but dang it tell us why we should care. Don’t just say he’s a wild man from Japan. We need more than that. Tell us a big name he’s beaten, tell us some titles he’s won, tell us SOMETHING.

I don’t want to have to do a ton of research to figure out who one guy from Japan is in one match. He’s from All Japan Pro, that’s all we get. Even Vince says he doesn’t know a ton about him. Well thanks Vince. Savio Vega is 12th as nothing of note is going on. Dory is out there doing stuff that belongs in the 40s or something which is pretty cool looking.

The saddest part: I doubt half the roster today would be as smooth as he is out there in this match. Yoko puts out Mable and the smarks shed a tear as the completely unimportant Omori is put out by Roberts. To recap, we have HHH, Lawler (hiding under the ring), Holly, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, Kid and Vega in there at the moment. Perfect says he’s tapped into the Superstar line and knows who the next guy is.

Ok wait a minute. So first of all, you can find out the SECRET drawing on the Superstar line? I know they did that last year but I just don’t get what the point is. Why ruin the mystique of one of the biggest matches of the year? Second, you can tap into it? How many science geeks that were watching this (of the 4 or so that were) immediately tried to figure out how to do that? Third, Perfect is on the phone while calling a match? Dude I want that job!

Anyway, 13th is the debuting Vader. At the time, he was a complete monster and rapidly becoming one of the biggest heels in the company. He beats up Holly so he’s a good guy to me. Savio puts out Funk from the apron. Vader of course pulls him back in so there we go. Vader punches Savio, making him dance. Yeah I hate him too. Fourteenth is Doug Gilbert of the USWA, which is Lawler’s company.

Jake sets Vega for the DDT, arguably the most devastating and popular move in company history at that point, so right as he goes for it we cut to Holly trying to dump the Kid. We can see it hit between Holly’s legs and the pop is huge, but of course two career nothings are more important so there we are. In a VERY stupid looking spot, Jake hooks Gilbert for the DDT and then just stares at Vader for at least four seconds and then gets clotheslined over the top. That looked so stupid.

Ok so 15 and 16 are twins called the Squat Team. Yes that’s the best name they could come up with for them. They’re twin 450lb guys from Puerto Rico where they’re called the Headhunters. Ok, so we can’t just call them that generic yet far better name? They last less than two minutes combined as Vader just goes insane on the first one with two punches to knock them both out. That was AWESOME.

As the first one leaves his partner is coming out and they both go to the ring. Vader beats them both up at once until Yoko (still heel apparently) grabs one and is like “Boy get your fatness out of here and make me a sweater” while Vader beats up the other one and is like “BOY go marinate bake me a ham and set the table” and both guys are knocked out.

That was both stupid and pointless which is a nice combination. Oh and just after the first guy came in Doug Gilbert got hit with a freaking AWESOME chokeslam from Vader and thrown out. It looked awesome.

To recap, we have HHH, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Kid, Vader, Yoko and Vega. Owen is 17th and a major heel at this point due to being the guy that hurt Shawn in the famous enziguri (how in the world is that spelled anyway?) that made Shawn black out. Yoko and Vader just beat the living tar out of Vega and Shawn is 18th as the roof isn’t blown off in the slightest.

There’s a reaction but dang there was nothing impressive about that in the slightest. Vader puts out Savio as Shawn hits HHH. What would the children think??? The crowd is awake but not much beyond that. Vader and Yoko fight at the ropes and Shawn runs up and dumps BOTH of them at once. Ok that was cool looking. The fans are very much insane now. Shawn gorilla presses Kid out in another cool spot.

Vader and Yoko keep fighting as Hakushi is now in to make it him, Shawn, Owen, Holly and HHH as we see the major problem already: it is so completely obvious that Shawn is going to win. Vader comes back in and throws him out to completely silence the crowd. All of a sudden this year that doesn’t count like it used to so Shawn is still in. Gorilla the Commissioner comes down to run off Vader.

Vader would kick dominate him soon which was quite sad. The heel heat on Vader is nuts. Maybe 45 seconds after Hakushi comes in we bring in Tatanka for a one night return for no apparent reason. I’ve always liked that hook of the steel bar that Shawn did. It’s an intelligent counter that works quite well. Owen throws out Hakushi as the Shawn Michaels plus the midcard Rumble continues.

Aldo Montoya is 21st to some of the weirdest music I can ever remember. It’s like techo and tribal mixed and it’s just failing. Shawn finds Lawler under the ring and throws him back in. Sometimes simple heel tactics like that are just made of win. Montoya and Lawler go out almost at the same time as Diesel tries to give Shawn a challenge at 22. I know looking at it now he looks weak but at the time he was a major player still so this was a big deal. He puts Tatanka out with ease.

He and Shawn go at it to a solid pop. Owen goes after Diesel to finally live up to the poster for this event. I have no idea why those two were on the poster. I also have no idea why they didn’t fight at Summerslam 95 instead of Mabel but whatever. I mean really, what match sounds more interesting: Diesel vs. Mable or Diesel vs. Owen? It would have at least been interesting to an extent instead of Diesel and Owen which was completely awful.

Kama is in next to no reaction at all. Yeah Shawn should have come out about 10 spots later than he did. Holly is more or less dead at this point as Shawn hits the ten corner punches on him. The crowd counts with him and I keep thinking it’s another person coming in. Apparently Ahmed has a concussion and is going to the hospital. So wait, it took AN HOUR AND A HALF to figure that out? Dude how bad is your medical staff???

The Ringmaster is in at 24. For those of you that don’t know, he would soon become known as Stone Cold Steve Austin. His manager, Ted DiBiase heading to WCW might have saved the company. He’s wearing white boots here which just doesn’t look right. Aww his boots have little stars on them! That’s so cute! He FINALLY puts out Holly though so he’s awesome already.

Austin is a much more technical based guy here with some very good athleticism. Barry Horowitz is 25th, coming out to his completely sweet rock version of Hava Nagila. How awesome is that? Perfect says that if Horowitz wins this he’ll get back in the ring. That made me chuckle for no reason at all. In a cool looking spot, Owen is leaning on the ropes to choke Shawn so Shawn nips up to kick Owen over, but Owen skins the cat to get back in. That was awesome looking.

The fans are DEAD here. Diesel puts out HHH with complete ease. That looked cool if nothing else. 26th is Fatu. WHY IN THE WORLD DOES HE GET THESE AWESOME DRAWS EVERY YEAR??? This is the making a difference Fatu. My goodness this was awful. It makes Rikishi look brilliant. Hey let’s plug the Superstar Line again! Apparently only the guy on there knows who is next. So is he running around telling people what order to go in?

Perfect changes his stance to he’ll quit if Horowitz wins. So wait, does that mean he’ll quit being retired? If that’s so does that mean he’ll wrestle again? Maybe he didn’t change his stance at all. Owen almost puts Shawn out but just won’t do it because it would probably get him fired. Isaac Yankem (Kane) is in next. Horowitz is gone. Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn again but this time doesn’t kill him.

Austin does the Shawn pose as I laugh. Austin vs. Diesel is a match that I don’t think ever happened. Owen is out due to Diesel and Shawn. 28th is Marty Jannetty as this match just needs to be put out of its misery. Apparently he’s been doing well in the singles division. Did I completely miss some time in the company history? The Rockers go at it in a fight that would have been good maybe 3 years ago.

British Bulldog is 29th again to ZERO reaction. 30th is going to be Duke Droese so there we are. Smith is heel here so he beats on Shawn. He dumps Marty quickly so if nothing else there’s a future for him in vermin control. Fatu puts out Austin. How many people would believe that in three and a half years he would run him over in a car and put him out for a year?

That’s just completely amazing and shows you that all kinds of things can happen in wrestling and you never know what’s coming. Kane knocks out Rikishi with ease as the announcers admit they have no idea how Austin went out due to there being a lot of action going on. No not really but I can’t argue with Vince right? Ok so there’s Duke and the final groups is, and I’m not kidding you here, Duke Droese, Kama, Diesel, Shawn, Bulldog and Yankem. WOW.

If you couldn’t tell who was going to win this and who he was going to eliminate last, you’re an idiot. Droese and Kane go out really fast so your final four are Bulldog, Diesel, Kama and Shawn. And before I’m done typing that Shawn kicks Diesel out to win it. Literally, the final four started and ended inside of 30 seconds. Shawn wins, shocking no one at all. Diesel comes back and they do the Too Sweet sign. Yep, that’s all they do and good night I’m bored here.

Rating: D. How can this show not seem that bad? I mean seriously, Ahmed freaking Johnson at this point has the match of the night, and that’s after guys like Chris Candido, Owen Hart, Shawn Michaels, Scott Hall and Dustin Rhodes have performed. Once Shawn came in, the match was over, period. No one thought for a second that anyone other than HBK was going to win, period. I mean look at this lineup.

The alternatives are the debuting Vader, Diesel, who had talked about Taker nonstop recently so his feud is set up, and……and……oh come on there has to be a third guy. Owen Hart wins it by default I guess: a career midcard guy with a cup of coffee in the main event a year ago that is clearly the first Shawn target. WOW. How in the world did this Rumble get a chance to do anything? There is no way this was ever, and I mean ever, was going to work.

The only thing CLOSE to making this work would have been Yoko, Diesel, Owen and Vader against Shawn at the end. I mean really, who else was going to win? This wasn’t interesting at all and other than for a few seconds, the crowd might as well have been asleep, and I can’t blame them a bit. This was just boring.

Bret says he’ll win in a generic interview, which is somehow the most interesting thing I’ve seen other than Vader and Yoko being put out in over an hour.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

This is happening because Bret is champion and Taker would have been far too big of a threat to Shawn’s popularity. Taker is wearing the skull mask at this point after Mabel and Yokozuna destroyed his face. For no apparent reason, Diesel is still at ringside. He gets in Taker’s face and there they go. Taker was just all kinds of awesome at this point, as he was reaching that mythical level that few get to.

He’s officially that kind of guy that’s awesome just because he’s who he is. Like today for example, it’s about two weeks after Kofi destroyed Orton’s car. That was AWESOME. Kofi got over in that one segment and granted I have no idea if it’ll still or not as you guys won’t read this for about two months, but the point is he might just fall off the map. A guy like Taker simply isn’t going to fall off the level he’s on barring anything completely insane happening.

He was just hitting that level around this time. He’s like Shawn is now: you can throw together a stupid storyline to put him in the title match and everyone will buy it because he’s just awesome enough to be in it. Bret’s pop is solid here, but this crowd just kind of sucks. Ok we’ve been in this match 3 minutes now and I think I already know what’s coming. I had a bad vibe about this match earlier on and it’s coming true now: they’re doing a formula match.

Yep, Bret’s going for the knee early. That means a long drawn out match where Bret works on the leg with a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee and uses a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee and uses a submission, Taker fights back, Bret hits the knee or a suplex move and sets for the Sharpshooter and somewhere in there we brawl on the floor with a weapon other than the belt or a chair being used. And what do you know I’m right.

Yes, for about 25 minutes, that’s all we get. During that Bret gets the stupid looking skull mask off of Taker that was just really annoying. PLEASE END THIS! Taker hits the Tombstone finally, and here’s Diesel for the cheap DQ to set up Diesel vs. Bret to set up Diesel vs. Taker. Ok, I know I have the benefit of hindsight here, but this was as predictable as humanly possible.

The signs were all there for Diesel vs. Taker, especially the fight before the match started. I mean seriously, who in their right mind thought Taker had a chance here? Actually he won, so who thought he had a chance of getting the title here? Whatever, I just want this show to end.

Rating: C-. While it was formula stuff, it was somehow by far and away the best match of the night, and that’s just pitiful. They went out there and did half an hour of stuff you could write a textbook with. Now I know that usually means greatness, but in this case I mean a book called Cookie Cutter Title Matches in 30 Elongated Minutes.

It might have been that I was just wanting this show to end, but this was boring as heck to me. I’m going with the C- because it gives it the best grade of the night just so Jeff Jarrett can’t have it. WWF>TNA, forever, even when you have to lie to get there.

Overall Rating: D-. Somehow, this passes. I have zero idea how, but somehow it passes. The matches all completely sucked, but it was like I kept wanting to like the show. That’s either really good or really bad and I’m not sure which.

This whole show feels like the forms you have to fill out to get something you know you’re getting: it’s pointless, you don’t like it, but you have to do it anyway to get to the end result. This show is just boring. I don’t know if it’s particularly bad, but it’s just so boring that it becomes bad. Don’t watch this unless you’re an insomniac.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 7, 2006: Vince Does Elvis (And It’s Amazing)

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 7, 2006
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam but this week’s show is going to be interesting in a bad way. The roster is fresh off of an Australia tour so there is a good chance that they are going to be absolutely spent. I certainly can’t blame them for that, but it can make for a dull show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Umaga beating down Shawn Michaels last week to set up Umaga vs. HHH this week.

We look at Graceland to start….and now it’s Vince and Shane McMahon in Elvis suits. Shane talks about leaving Shawn all shook up last week and HHH was dancing to the jailhouse rock last week because of those cigars. Shawn even wound up at the heartbreak hotel because of a hunka-hunka burning Shane.

Vince says he’s going to be cruel tonight when HHH faces Umaga. Shane: “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” Vince: “I wanna thank you very much Elvis.” Vince likes Shane’s look, but everyone needs to know something: Elvis has left the building. This was AMAZING and needs to be seen (though pesky music rights mean it’s not on the Network).

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is defending….for about four seconds as Edge and Lita interrupt before they can even lock up. Edge says this match is over and he’s taking over Raw. So much for that.

Edge tells Trish to stay because she needs to hear this. It’s not fair that he has to defend the title against John Cena in Cena’s hometown of Boston and if he is disqualified, he loses the title. So NO, it isn’t fair that he has to put up with more than anyone in this company. Edge demands the Summerslam poster be put on screen, which features DX, John Cena, Trish and Batista (Edge: “You have to get him on there before he gets injured again.”).

There’s no Edge, but he has a makeup picture because he can be on the cover of Raw Magazine. It’s a blonde from Toronto who looks like a million bucks and…..of course it’s Trish in rather limited clothing. Edge doesn’t like being bumped by someone who hasn’t won a match in over a year. Lita gets in Trish’s face and backs her into the corner but Trish comes out slapping. That’s broken up by Edge so Lita spears Trish down. Cue Carlito for the save but Edge spears him down, likely meaning a mixed tag later.

There is a one hour Diva Search special coming. Nope. This isn’t on the Network.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets Johnny Nitro, on commentary with Melina, for the Intercontinental Title. Shelton strikes away to start with little success as Kane grabs him by the throat. Kane takes him into the corner for some right hands, followed by a running clothesline. There’s the side slam but Shelton counters the chokeslam with a DDT. The second attempt works just fine though and Benjamin is done in a hurry.

Video on the Australia tour. This wasn’t on the Network either. Must be a music thing.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He doesn’t get this Edge guy. Edge is always talking about respect, but he’s already the WWE Champion. Maybe he isn’t on the Summerslam poster because his face scared children. Apparently Edge has a 7-11 deal going and Lita is a part of it. Imagine: Slurpees for Herpes! Cena: “You can’t stop it. You can only suppress it.” Cena has a consolation prize though: Edge can be on the cover of Crying B**** Illustrated.

That’s enough fun though because Edge needs to get out here right now. Cue Jonathan Coachman instead though and Cena isn’t happy. Coach says Edge isn’t out here tonight because he and Lita are teaming up against Carlito and Trish Stratus. If Cena wants to fight though, Coach has an opponent ready for him.

John Cena vs. Viscera

Joined in progress with Viscera hitting the snap spinwheel kick to put Cena down. Viscera hits the big running splash in the corner to put Cena on the floor. That’s good for two back inside but Cena slugs away with the right hands. The slam goes rather badly though and Cena has to kick out again. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up again and slugs away, setting up the Throwback. Cena tries the Shuffle but is quickly countered into the Boss Man Slam. Viscera misses the splash though and Cena hits the FU (those legs were SHAKING) for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. I know Cena might not be the most popular guy in the world, but being able to throw someone the size of Viscera onto his shoulders and flip him over (without his legs buckling) is one of the most impressive things you’ll see in wrestling. That is raw power and Cena looks like a superhero when he gets to showcase it. The whole match was just there for the ending and that worked fine.

This Week In Wrestling History: Showdown At Shea 1980. Zbyszko vs. Sammartino isn’t mentioned for some reason.

Vince and Shane McMahon are with the security guards but Shane has to go take care of something.

Trish Stratus is freaking out with Carlito, who she kisses to blow off some steam.

Shane goes looking for Shawn Michaels but finds the Highlanders, Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson, but no Shawn. Instead he heads back to the locker room but Shawn jumps him from behind. The beatdown is on, with Shawn hitting a cop by mistake to get himself arrested, leaving HHH on his own tonight against Umaga. Dang that’s a coincidence.

Edge/Lita vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

Carlito slugs away at Edge to start but gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. Some running clotheslines put Edge down though and it’s off to the women for a change. Trish takes Lita down to hammer away but Edge breaks up the Stratusphere. The chinlock goes on and a hair pull sends Trish right back down. Lita sends her face first into the mat but Trish is back up with the spinning headscissors. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick puts Edge and Lita on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Edge chinlocking Carlito until Edge sends him outside. That means Lita can get some shots before Edge brings him back inside for a double arm crank. Carlito jawbreaks his way to freedom though and it’s the springboard elbow to put Edge down. The hot tag brings in Trish to beat up Lita, including countering the Twist of Fate into a spinebuster for two. Everything breaks down and Edge’s spear hits Trish, earning himself a trip to the floor. Ever the opportunist, Lita steals the pin.

Rating: C. You can only get so much out of a mixed tag and that was the case again here. They had two matches going at once with the tags bridging them together, which doesn’t make for much of a match. Lita pinning Trish worked fine enough, but you could think the World Champion pinning Carlito would be a little more acceptable.

Smackdown Rebound.

Randy Orton isn’t impressed by Hulk Hogan having a torn meniscus because it’s just a way for him to get out of their Summerslam match.

Here’s Ric Flair, carrying a copy of Foley Is Good (Mick Foley’s second book). Flair talks about being from Memphis before saying he has spent ten years trying to figure out what makes Mick Foley tick. Everyone told him to read his second book, which was a look inside Foley’s head. Flair drops the book and stomps on it, followed by a knee drop for good measure.

That’s what Flair thinks of the book, except for one page. On Page 169, Foley lists his favorite matches, with his favorite being Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair. Foley knows he can’t beat Flair, but here’s Foley to say Flair has found out the secret. Yes the I Quit match with Funk was the greatest match he has ever seen and he can never be as good as Flair. Then they can have a classic at Summerslam and get Flair back to the top of the mountain where he deserved.

But that isn’t going to happen, because Flair didn’t help Foley back in 1994. Flair could have done something for his career but didn’t. Foley has made a vow to never do anything to help Flair in his life, so at Summerslam, Flair and Vince McMahon are invited to kiss his a** because the match isn’t happening.

Flair tells Foley to be a man one more time in his life because they can have the greatest hardcore match anyone has ever seen. He literally gets on his knees to beg Foley to make the match happen so Foley rants about Melina being embarrassed last week and wants an I Quit match at Summerslam. Flair gives it a WOO, but Foley says cut the music. After a career of great matches, Summerslam may be Flair’s greatest ever, but it may also be his last. Not as good as their previous stuff, but it kept things moving forward.

Randy Orton vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler is in the all white and scores with the early slap to the face. An Irish whip sends Lawler into the ropes but he’s back with another slap. Orton rakes the eyes and dropkicks him down though, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Lawler punches him down, only to miss the middle rope fist drop. The RKO doesn’t work so Orton kicks him low, setting up the RKO for the fast pin. This was just a step above nothing.

Jeff Hardy is coming back.

The Diva Search girls come out, Eric is eliminated and it’s time for Diss the Diva. Well in a minute maybe.

Summerslam rundown.

The Diva Search girls play Diss the Diva, no one likes anyone, and we’re done.

For some reason, the Hardy vignette, the pay per view rundown and both Diva Search segments are missing from the Network version.

HHH vs. Umaga

The McMahons and Armando Alejandro Estrada are here too. They slug it out to start with Umaga cutting him off with a headbutt. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor though and a posting rocks him again. Back in and a spinwheel kick cuts HHH down without much trouble, meaning Umaga can sit on his chest. There’s the running headbutt in the Tree of Woe, followed by the running hip attack for a bonus.

Umaga headbutts the mat by mistake so HHH slugs away but has to deal with the McMahons. A missed charge sends Umaga into the corner but the Pedigree is broken up. The spinebuster gives HHH two as Vince pulls the referee out, meaning it’s time to beat up the McMahons. That’s enough of a distraction for Umaga to hit the Samoan Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. Much like last week, this was all about advancing DX vs. the McMahon, but it also made Umaga look like a much bigger deal in a hurry. This was HHH walking Umaga through the match and letting him do his thing, which worked out well enough. Not a great match, but they did what they needed to do.

Post match, Umaga leaves the McMahons with HHH, allowing Vince to hit his own Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the Summerslam card, or at least the top of it, is all set now and that makes some of the TV shows a little slow to watch. This one was acceptable enough though and you can see most of the matches already. I’m looking forward to the pay per view, but it’s a good thing that next week is the go home show as there isn’t much left to do for the show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestle Kingdom XV Night Two: They Did It Again

Wrestle Kingdom XV Night Two
Date: January 5, 2021
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 7,801
Commentators: Rocky Romero, Chris Charlton, Kevin Kelly

It’s the second half of the biggest New Japan show of the year and as usual, the card is stacked. The main event will see new IWGP Heavyweight/Intercontinental Champion Kota Ibushi defend against Jay White, along with pretty much everything else that wasn’t featured on Night One. They have a lot to live up to so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Note that there were two Stardom dark matches which were not broadcast due to various rights issues.

The opening video runs down the card, in order.

King Of Pro Wrestling Provisional Title: Toru Yano vs. Chase Owens vs. Bad Luke Fale vs. Bushi

So this is a new thing that started last year, where you have to become the Provisional Champion and then defend it throughout the year, with whoever is the final champion at the end of the year winning a trophy. Then the whole thing starts over. Yano was the first champion and this is one fall to a finish. Bushi and Yano chill on the floor to start so Fale heads outside to hammer on Yano while Owens does the same thing to Bushi inside.

Everyone gets inside with Yano rolling Bushi up for two. Yano isn’t having this wrestling stuff and pulls off the turnbuckle pad to continue his tradition. Owens saves Bushi from getting hit in the face but Bushi rakes him in the eyes for offering an alliance. Fale and Owens start double teaming Yano but Bushi is back in to low bridge Fale to the floor.

A fisherman’s neckbreaker gives Bushi two on Owens as Yano slams Fale in the back of the head. Well he never has seemed like the smartest person. Owens blocks Bushi’s top rope Codebreaker but can’t hit the package piledriver. Fale comes back in to hit the Grenade Launcher on Bushi but Owens won’t let him have the pin. They go after the referee, allowing Yano to come in with the low blow and steal the pin on Bushi for the title at 7:34.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t supposed to be anything serious and was more or less a warmup match for the rest of the show. It was quick, it gave the fans a smile at the end and lets Yano do his thing. There was no reason to believe that this was going to be anything special and they had a perfectly acceptable match.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Suzuki-Gun vs. One of Eight

That would be El Desperado/Yoshinobu Kanemura (defending) vs. Ryusuke Taguchi/Master Wato after the challengers (with Hiroyoshi Tenzan) have beaten the champs twice. Wato and Desperado start fast with Wato knocking him to the floor for the big dive. It’s off to Taguchi who runs the ropes a lot until Kanemura takes him to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Kanemura takes advantage of a distracted referee to send Taguchi’s knee into a chair.

We settle down a bit with Desperado dropkicking Taguchi’s knee out and easily avoiding the hip attack. Taguchi gets over for the tag to Wato though and it’s a springboard uppercut to drop Kanemura. The referee is sent into Wato for a distraction, allowing Kanemura to hit an enziguri. Desperado comes back in and gets pulled face first into the back of Taguchi’s tights over and over (that’s his thing you see). The running hip attack puts Desperado down again and Three Amigos do it one more time.

Desperado and Taguchi counter a few things each until Taguchi grabs a cobra clutch suplex. That just earns him a Stretch Muffler but Taguchi reverses into an ankle lock. A double chickenwing gutbuster gets two on Desperado but he and Taguchi trade rollups for two each. With the other two being knocked outside, Desperado hits Angel’s Wings (which had a Spanish name I couldn’t make out) to finish Taguchi and retain the titles at 13:21.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that seems to come and go most years without having much long term meaning. The Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles offer some fun matches but they don’t exactly seem the most important. It’s nice to see the champs retain to let their reign grow a bit and seeing Taguchi lose always makes me smile just a little bit. Pretty nice match too, but it didn’t hit anything great.

Never Openweight Title: Shingo Takagi vs. Jeff Cobb

Shingo is defending and Cobb is part of the Empire. They shove each other around to start and then go to the forearm off, as is the custom for the title. Shingo hits a hiptoss and runs him over with a shoulder but Cobb is right back with a dropkick. That’s enough to send Shingo to the floor for some whips into the barricade, followed by a heck of an overhead belly to belly. Back in and an elbow to the face gives Cobb two and we hit the bearhug. That’s broken up in a hurry so Cobb suplexes him down again.

They slug it out until Shingo suplexes him out to the apron. Shingo joins him and has to slip out of a Razor’s Edge attempt (must fear a bad case of death) before knocking Cobb out to the floor. The big flip dive hits Cobb again and an elbow drop gets two back inside. It’s Cobb’s turn to hurt him, meaning it’s the rolling gutwrench suplexes into a sitout Razor’s Edge powerbomb for a big two. Shingo is right back with a Death Valley Driver as they’re trading bombs here.

A top rope superplex sends Cobb flying again and there’s a German suplex to make it worse. They trade t-bone suplexes and forearm it out until Shingo hits a clothesline but falls to the floor in exhaustion. Shingo dives back in, earning himself a quick piledriver for two more. Tour of the Islands is broken up so Shingo hits Made In Japan for his own near fall.

Cobb snaps off a rebound German suplex into Tour of the Islands but the knee gives out to delay the cover. They’re both down with Cobb’s knee still bothering him but he’s fine enough to hit a backflip fall away slam (Does that mean it’s still an away slam?). Tour of the Islands is blocked again and Shingo hits a kind of fall away suplex. A big lariat turns Cobb inside out and Last of the Dragon (kind of a reverse Samoan driver) retains the title at 21:13.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was amazing as these two just beat the fire out of each other for twenty one minutes. There was nothing scientific about it and there wasn’t supposed to be. This was all about two big, strong guys hitting each other really hard and Cobb is born for that kind of match. Great stuff here and if you want one of those old school hoss fights with suplexes thrown in, check this one out, because it’s awesome.

Sanada vs. Evil

They’re former partners but Evil (with Dick Togo tonight) turned on him to become Heavyweight Champion. Feeling out process to start with Sanada being thrown outside but he jumps back in as Evil goes to the floor. Back in and Sanada loads up the Paradise Lock for the running kick, sending Evil outside again. This time Evil catches Sanada to drive him into the barricade and some chairs are brought out as well.

Evil and Togo set up a table and Sanada is taken back inside….only to be taken outside again for a whip into the barricade. That’s good for two back inside but Sanada gets in a shot to the knee to put Evil down for a change. A dropkick does it again so Sanada has the chance to dive onto Togo. Back in and Togo trips Sanada but Evil can’t put him through the ringside table. Instead, Sanada misses a springboard, having to settle for a hanging swinging suplex.

A tiger suplex gives Sanada two but Evil drives him hard into the corner. Evil gets him up top for a superplex into the Scorpion Deathlock, with Sanada diving for the rope. Darkness Falls gets two on Sanada but Evil misses a charge into an exposed (When did that happen?) corner. Sanada’s belly to back suplex gets two, only to have Evil swing Sanada’s leg into the referee. Togo comes in to beat on Sanada, who kicks Evil into the ropes to crotch Togo (Togo: “OH S***!”) out to the floor.

Sanada moonsaults over Evil into Skull End (dragon sleeper), which he lets so for a moonsault instead. He tries a second but this time Evil gets his knees up to put them both down. Skull End goes on again so Evil grabs the referee, allowing Togo to choke with a wire from the apron. That’s broken up though and Sanada dropkicks Evil into Togo through the table (There it goes!). Evil panics, kicks out of a rollup, and blasts Sanada with a clothesline for two of his own. Skull End is broken up again so Sanada hits his own Everything Is Evil (Evil’s finisher), setting up a pop up TKO. The moonsault finishes Evil for good at 23:45.

Rating: B+. This is as easy of a story as you can get, with the tag team splitting up and one of them needing to prove that he is the better man. That’s what we got here, with Sanada wrestling the clean match to overcome the villains, including using Evil’s own finisher. Rather good match here, and it’s easy to see why this was one of the featured showdowns.

We recap Hiromu Takahashi (Best of the Super Juniors) vs. Taiji Ishimori (IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion) for the title. Takahashi won a #1 contenders match against El Phantasmo last night and now he has his title shot.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Hiromu Takahashi vs. Taiji Ishimori

Ishimori is defending and they run the ropes to start, with Takahashi being sent outside. Ishimori’s dive is broken up on the apron as Takahashi cuts him off and hits a superkick. The sunset bomb is countered as well so Takahashi powerbombs him hard onto the apron. Takahashi goes WAY up the ramp and runs down but his dropkick is countered into a suplex to cut him down.

Ishimori nails a moonsault down to the floor and then sends Takahashi shoulder first into an exposed turnbuckle (Is that the same buckle from the Yano match? They never replaced it???). The shoulder is banged up but the legs are fine enough to snap off a running headscissors to put Ishimori down. A running dropkick off the apron sends Ishimori hard into the barricade for two back inside but he’s back up with the sliding German suplex.

The YES Lock stays on Takahashi’s bad arm until a foot on the rope is good for the break. Takahashi counters a charge into a belly to belly into the corner and they’re both down for a deserved breather. It’s Takahashi up first with a wheelbarrow into a Downward Spiral, followed by the running Death Valley Driver. Ishimori’s handspring is countered into a German suplex but he’s right back up with a Canadian Destroyer for another double knockdown.

They slug it out from their knees and then from their feet until Ishimori sends him shoulder first into the post. A shoulderbreaker sets up the YES Lock with Takahashi needing the ropes to keep him alive. Ishimori tries the YES Lock again but this time gets faceplanted down for a delayed two instead. They both try what looks to be a suplex until Ishimori takes him down into a Gargano Escape. With that almost broken, Ishimori lets it go and tries the YES Lock, only to be reversed into a suplex into a faceplant. That lets Takahashi get back up for the Time Bomb 2 for the pin and the title at 25:31.

Rating: A-. This was another slugout as both of them were barely able to hang in there until the end, with Takahashi’s shoulder nearly doing him in. Takahashi coming back from his injury and winning the title again was a great moment and a great story. Granted it wasn’t as spiffy again as the second time, but Takahashi has turned into a huge star around here and the win felt special and was made even better by an awesome match.

Takahashi takes his time getting the title.

We recap Jay White vs. Kota Ibushi for the IWGP Heavyweight and IWGP Intercontinental Titles. Ibushi won the titles last night but lost to White a few months ago. White is the most evil man in the company and it’s time to fight him off.

IWGP Heavyweight Title/IWGP Intercontinental Title: Kota Ibushi vs. Jay White

White is challenging and has Gedo with him. White bails to the floor to start but then gets back in for the trash talk. They lock up nearly two minutes after the bell and an early Gedo distraction lets White stomp away. The headlock goes on for a bit but the threat of a big kick to the head sends White bailing to the floor. Gedo offers another distraction on the way back in though, allowing Kota to grab a DDT. A suplex onto the apron bangs up Kota’s back and that means a rather long count on the floor.

Back in and a knee to the ribs gets two and the waistlock goes on. Rib stomping ensues and it’s a tranquilo pose to keep White’s cockiness high. A hard DDT plants Kota again and White yells at the referee as the champ pulls himself up. That’s enough for Kota to get in a shot of his own, followed by the standing moonsault for two. They head to the floor with Ibushi’s ribs going into the barricade to cut him off again.

Back in and Kota’s powerslam looks to set up the middle rope moonsault but White crotches him instead. That means it’s time to start working on the leg, followed by a swinging brainbuster for two. Kota manages to send him outside but the knee gives out on the springboard attempt. White shoves him out to the floor and then suplexes him into the corner for two more. Kota grabs a desperation half nelson suplex and they slug it out again. The kneeling Tombstone gives Kota two and they’re both down.

It’s White up first with a snap belly to back suplex into a Rock Bottom for his own two. Back up and Kota hits his own belly to back for two, followed by a kick to the head. Gedo’s distraction breaks up another moonsault though and it’s time to go up to tease a dragon superplex (geez). Thankfully that’s broken up and White goes after the knee instead. A leglock goes on to put Kota in trouble but he’s in the rope in a hurry. White kicks him in the face a few times and gets a “dude really” look from Kota, who gets back to his feet.

Ibushi strikes him down into the corner and tells White to come on. That’s fine with White, who is knocked right back down. They do the same thing again, with White getting knocked to the floor. Back in and Kota says hit him but White lays down, telling Ibushi to pin him. Instead, Ibushi unloads on him until the referee tries to intervene, allowing White to get in a low blow. They head outside again with Ibushi going ribs and back first into the barricade and apron.

White gets back inside and tells Ibushi to bring it, earning Kota some German suplexes. It’s back to the apron (Kelly: “Oh no.”) with Ibushi gets in a kick to the head to rock White for a change. A super German suplex brings White back in for two for a rather near fall but he grabs a sleeper suplex. White hits another one and a RegalPlex is good for two. Blade Runner is broken up but Kota reverses into the big knee to the face for two and the applause.

The phoenix splash connects but Gedo pulls the referee, sending Kelly into hysterics. Gedo’s brass knuckles shot is countered into a big knee to the face so Kota sends the referee back in. The delay lets White hit the Blade Runner for a very close two (first time anyone has ever kicked out) so he pulls Kota down into what looks like a reverse Figure Four.

Kota is nearly to the rope but White pulls him back into the middle. That’s not going to happen though as Kota makes it back to the rope again. Bloody Sunday looks to set up another Blade Runner but Kota nails a jumping knee to the face. Another jumping knee sets up a hard lariat into a pair of big knees to retain the titles at 48:05 (the longest match in Dome history).

Rating: A. It says a lot that you don’t feel a match running nearly fifty minutes but this felt like nothing close to that. Ibushi had a pair of great performances and it makes him look like an even bigger star. White is the kind of heel you want to see get destroyed and having him get kneed in the face works very well. This was a heck of a match and lived up to the main event spot, with the time being a great addition, especially fast the whole thing felt.

Post match here’s Sanada to issue the (very respectful) challenge for the titles. Kota talks about how he is more powerful than ever and agrees to the match. With Sanada gone, Kota gives his big speech to wrap it up. Commentary applauds him as he leaves.

The long wrapup ends the night.

Overall Rating: A+. This was an interesting one as I wasn’t feeling it as much as the first night but aside from the not exactly serious opener, this was one great match after another with nothing being close to bad and a bunch of classics. It’s the kind of show that you expect from Wrestle Kingdom and that is a very hard reputation to achieve. Absolutely awesome show though and somehow better than the very good Night One, which is hard to pull off. Yeah it’s annoying to have back to back shows this long, but it’s once a year so I can’t get mad, especially when it’s this. Check both nights out, because they’re worth the time.

 

 

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