Super ShowDown 2020
Date: February 27, 2020
Location: Mohammed Abdu Arena on the Boulevard, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re back in Saudi Arabia and for the first time ever, they’re on a streak of a good show. Last October’s Crown Jewel was a pretty good show, though I’m not sure what reason I would have to believe that will be the case again here. I’m not sure how the main event of Goldberg vs. the Fiend is going to go though and that’s a nice feeling. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Viking Raiders vs. OC

Anderson headlocks Erik to start but that’s broken up with straight power. Ivar comes in for a knee to the face before wrapping his beard (yes his beard) around Anderson’s face. Erik slams Ivar onto Anderson for two but it’s Gallows coming in to try his luck. That means a fall away slam to Erik and the chinlock goes on. Anderson sends Erik into the corner again and Gallows drops the big elbow.

The chinlock goes on again but Erik fights up and rolls over for the hot tag to Ivar. The seated senton out of the corner crushes Anderson and there’s a clothesline to Gallows. Everything breaks down and Erik suplexes Gallows into the corner. Gallows is right back with a chokebomb to Erik, who knees Anderson in the face to get out of trouble. Ivar’s double handspring elbow puts the OC down but he misses a moonsault. The Magic Killer gives the OC the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C. What is with the Vikings not being able to beat these guys over here? It’s a bit of a confusing result as the Vikings have been in a much more prominent role than the OC as of late. That being said, it’s not like this match is going to mean anything in the long run so it’s not something I’m going to get annoyed at. Decent enough power match too.

The opening video talks about making your mark on the world.

That’s a lot of pyro.

Tuwaiq Trophy: Gauntlet Match

Andrade’s US Title isn’t on the line, there are six entrants and it’s R-Truth in at #1 and Bobby Lashley, with a completely covered Lana, is in at #2. R-Truth leapfrogs him to start and snaps off a headscissors, only to get knocked hard off the apron. Back in and Lashley slams him down hard, setting up the chinlock. R-Truth reverses into a sleeper but Lashley runs him over again. The Dominator is broken up though and it’s time for the John Cena sequence. Lashley is fine enough to come back with the Downward Spiral but the spear hits the corner. A rollup gives R-Truth the upset pin at 5:37.

Before the third entrant comes out, Lashley destroys him with a bunch of whips into the steps. The spear drops R-Truth again and it’s the returning Andrade (no Zelina Vega) in at #3. Andrade knees him in the corner to start and puts on an armbar over the ropes. A regular armbar keeps R-Truth in trouble and the running knees in the corner get two.

The hammerlock DDT is broken up and Andrade’s running knee only hits buckle, meaning it’s a crash to the floor. Back in and Truth scores with a Lie Detector for two, followed by a collision of heads so R-Truth can fall on him for the pin at 13:30 (there’s Andrade’s bonus punishment).

Erick Rowan is in at #4 and stars with the power, including a running slam in the corner. R-Truth gets up a boot in the corner and low bridges him to the floor, setting up the big dive. Rowan sends him into the steps but it knocks the cage down, meaning he sends R-Truth into the steps over and over again. A big shot with the steps is enough for the DQ to eliminate Rowan at 17:48. Rowan isn’t done yet as he adds in the Iron Claw before AJ Styles is in at #5.

R-Truth’s shoulder is done and he can barely get to his feet so AJ kicks him in the face. Another into the shoulder lets AJ mock the dancing and it’s time to start on the leg. AJ dances even more and kicks R-Truth in the legs again as the AJ STYLES chants are going fairly strong. The Calf Crusher makes R-Truth tap at 23:36 so it’s Rey Mysterio in at #6 to complete the field. Or not as there’s no Mysterio, who has been attacked in the back by Anderson and Gallows.

AJ grabs the mic and says there’s no Mysterio so he wins by forfeit. He demands his trophy but the referee is willing to give Rey a count of ten. The referee gets to seven but we see the OC down….and some large black boots. Then the gong strikes and there go the lights, as usual. After the full entrance, it’s a chokeslam to give Undertaker the Trophy at 32:27. Undertaker didn’t even take off his hat and coat.

Rating: C-. This was long, though nowhere near as long as some gauntlet matches WWE has done in recent years. Undertaker winning is fine for a surprise and at this point, far better than having him wrestle a full match. I’m sure this will set up the Wrestlemania match and that’s a fine way to go about it. R-Truth did well and as luck would have it, he has a new documentary on the Network. Imagine that timing!

New Day is ready for Miz and John Morrison because this is a big night.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. New Day

New Day is defending. Big E. powers Miz into the corner to start and there’s the spanking abdominal stretch. The Warrior Splash brings in Kofi and Morrison with the former hitting a running backsplash. It’s already back to Big E., who gets sent outside for the slingshot dive from Morrison. Miz grabs the chinlock but Big E. fights up, only to get caught with a modified Hart Attack (Flying Chuck instead of a running clothesline).

The Rock Bottom out of the corner puts Miz down and that’s enough for the hot tag to Kofi. A running knee and the Boom Drop look to set up Trouble in Paradise but Miz makes the save. Back up and Morrison hits an Alabama Slam into a running knee for two. Kofi is fine enough to get two off the SOS and it’s a pretty awesome powerbomb/top rope double stomp combination for another near fall.

Miz fires off the YES Kicks to Big E. but Starship Pain misses. Kofi is back in for a quick Midnight Hour for two on Morrison with Miz making another save. Kofi loads up the Trust Fall but crashes HARD to the floor instead, leaving Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for two on Big E. It’s back to Kofi, who reverses another Finale into a victory roll for two more. Morrison sneaks in a chair to the ribs though and Miz grabs a rollup (with tights) for the pin and the titles at 12:58.

Rating: B. This felt a bit longer as they packed a lot in there. Miz and Morrison winning the titles is the right call as we’ve seen New Day as champions for what feels like forever. Miz and Morrison can feud with New Day and the Usos in the coming months, but more importantly they’re something fresh and that’s what the titles have needed. If nothing else, a victory Dirt Sheet will be great.

Seth Rollins and Murphy are ready to retain their titles because it is their destiny to get rid of the Street Profits.

Angel Garza vs. Humberto Carrillo

Garza lays on the corner and does some crunches during Carrillo’s entrance. They both miss a bunch of strikes and it’s a standoff with Carrillo backflipping away. The big spinning springboard crossbody winds up being a headbutt for Carrillo. They head outside with Garza getting taken down off a headscissors and then getting knocked into the barricade off a suicide dive.

Back in and a basement dropkick gets two on Garza but he scores with a running dropkick in the corner. You can tell they’re in a different country as there’s little reaction when GARZA TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! Carrillo fights out of a camel clutch and hits a spinning kick to the head for two. Garza is back up to dropkick him out of the air for two but Carrillo hits a Canadian Destroyer to put both of them down. They go into the pinfall reversal sequence like Garza won on Raw….and he does so again with a rollup for the pin at 9:08.

Rating: C. These matches continue to not exactly hit thrilling as they are just lucha matches without a ton of heat. What we got was fine enough, but it was nothing better than what we got on Raw. I just can’t bring myself to care about them and while the matches are fine, they’re forgettable and not exactly making me interested in either of them.

Bayley is ready to make history again and retain her title. I’m liking these quick interviews before the matches to get me a bit more in the mood.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Street Profits vs. Murphy/Seth Rollins

Rollins and Murphy are defending. Dawkins spears Murphy down to start and wrestles him into the corner so Ford can come in. That means the big dropkick but Rollins comes in to take over on Ford. Murphy’s Meteora gets two and it’s back to Rollins for more stomping. Ford finally sends them both outside but Murphy pulls Dawkins off the apron to keep Ford in. Rollins is sent into the corner though and the hot tag brings in Dawkins to clean house.

Dropkicks and suplexes abound for two and it’s back to Ford who gets rolled up for two more. Ford kicks Rollins down though and hits the frog splash for his own two. Dawkins knocks Murphy hard over the announcers’ table but he’s back in to save Rollins again. A double Pedigree is countered into a double DDT on the champs to send them outside. Ford’s big running flip dive is caught though and he gets planted hard. Dawkins dives off the apron to take both of them down and they head back inside. Murphy gets in a knee to Dawkins, sending him into the ropes for the Stomp onto the apron to retain at 10:42.

Rating: B-. The Profits can do a lot of great things and there is little doubt that they are going to win the titles one day. What we had here was an entertaining match but there was no way the title change was taking place. Rollins and Murphy are big deals on Raw and they aren’t dropping the titles on a show that is the wrestling equivalent of a side quest.

We recap the Kickoff Show match.

Mansoor vs. Dolph Ziggler

Robert Roode is here with Ziggler but gets ejected before the bell. They trade headlocks to start until Mansoor hits a hard running shoulder. A standing moonsault gets two but Ziggler rakes the eyes across the rope to slow things down. The big jumping elbow sets up another chinlock on Mansoor, which is switched into something like a Crossface and then the Rings of Saturn.

Mansoor fights up and avoids the Fameasser, setting up the slingshot neckbreaker. A kind of reverse Big Ending gets two more but Mansoor gets pulled off the top. The Zig Zag gives Ziggler two but they seem to get a little messed up when fighting over a suplex. A reverse Sliced Bread (kind of a running flip DDT) plants Ziggler and the moonsault (with only the legs hitting Ziggler) finishes at 9:12.

Rating: C-. This was miles away from the Cesaro match as they were missing some cues and the match was hardly interesting in the first place. The Mansoor match has become the token crowd match. That’s all well and good, but when you do it over and over again, the charm is gone. When the match isn’t exactly great either, it isn’t making things that much better either.

Post match Mansoor says the same thing he says after every win: Saudi Arabia is awesome and he’s proud.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Ricochet. It’s the latest smaller guy challenging Lesnar in an underdog role. Ricochet has as much chance of winning as I do of becoming Miss Nevada 1974, but he has that natural underdog charisma to him that makes you believe a miracle could maybe kind of sort of have a prayer of happening.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Ricochet

We recap King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns. They’ve been feuding for months but want to keep everyone else out, meaning it’s time for a cage match. This feels tacked on after the feud ended so there isn’t much of a reason to care about it.

King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns

In a cage and commentary says this is the final time these two are fighting. Reigns chains the door shut so one escape route is cut off. Corbin uses the delay to jump Reigns from behind and the cheap shots take us to the opening bell. The slow beating begins and Corbin goes for an early climb but Reigns cuts him off without too much effort. They come back down with Reigns firing off the clotheslines in the corner.

The Superman punch is countered and Deep Six plants Reigns for two. Corbin looks for the key to the door but settles for two off a powerbomb instead. Some hard forearms keep Reigns down and the door is unlocked, only to have Reigns send him into the door. The Superman punch is countered into a chokeslam for two though and Corbin grabs the chain.

Corbin tries his own Superman punch but gets dropped by the real thing. They both go climbing and wind up on top for the slugout. Reigns has to be pulled back in so Corbin can send him into the cage and back to the mat. That just earns Corbin back to back Superman punches, followed by the Superman punch with a chain for the pin at 12:52.

Rating: C-. I know they kept hyping this up as the end but do you really believe we won’t see it again within a few months? This feud has been driven so far into the ground, which isn’t a good idea as it didn’t have the longest legs in the first place. It was your normal cage match, but they have made me sick of seeing both guys so it wasn’t exactly something that matters anyway.

We recap Undertaker’s surprise (I guess?) appearance earlier tonight.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Bayley

Naomi is challenging and thankfully her big hair didn’t make it through customs. Bayley takes her to the mat to start but Naomi gets up and hits the splits splash. A kick to the face gives Naomi two more and a hurricanrana puts Bayley on the floor. The running corkscrew dive takes her down again but Bayley drives her back first into the apron to take over.

Back in and we hit the chinlock, with Bayley shouting at fans to shut up. Naomi fights up and hits a kick to the head, followed by a kick to the head for a change of pace. A springboard kick to the face drops Bayley again, followed by a knee to the ribs for two. The reverse Rings of Saturn has Bayley in more trouble but she gets a foot on the rope.

Bayley grabs a quick Bayley to Belly for two and there’s a running knee to rock Naomi again. Naomi catches her on top but misses the split legged moonsault. It’s time to get creative as Bayley ties Naomi’s legs into her shirt and finishes with that weird bulldog driver at 11:38.

Rating: C. I know WWE is going to be doing their big “rah rah we’re awesome and trailblazers and amazing” stuff out of this and I get why they go there, but it’s not a great match. Bayley has been champion for a long time now and it’s going to take a big win to get it off of her. Maybe they have something interesting planned at Elimination Chamber, but for now she has cleaned out the division.

We recap Goldberg vs. the Fiend. Goldberg was the most dominant force of his day and never got a rematch for the Universal Title. Therefore, he’s back to go after Fiend, who is a whole different animal.

Smackdown World Title: Goldberg vs. Fiend

Fiend is defending and gets in Goldberg’s face to start. Goldberg hits a quick spear for two but gets caught with the Mandible Claw. That’s broken up with a ram into the corner and Goldberg hits two more spears. There’s a fourth for two more and Fiend is right back with the Claw. Goldberg knees his way out and hits the Jackhammer to win the title at 2:59.

Post match Fiend gets up, the lights go out, and Fiend disappears. Goldberg celebrates to end the show.

What else is there to say about this? WWE has made it clear for a long time now that outside of Wrestlemania season and Saudi Arabia, nothing else matters. Fiend could have beaten Rock and Austin at the same time and there was no way he was going to defend the title at Wrestlemania because Fiend vs. anyone (save for that colorful guy from Massachusetts) isn’t a Wrestlemania style main event. I’m sure Reigns will get the title back in Tampa and it’ll be Reignsamania again as Fiend gets a pat on the back and is told he did well, just not well enough for the big show.

Overall Rating: D+. While it’s a far cry from the depths that these shows have sunk to before, it’s a pretty weak show with only a few good things throughout. They did make it feel more important with multiple title changes, but at the same time there is so much that just comes and goes like it’s on a slightly bigger than usual house show. The ending is annoying as a big Wyatt fan but I pretty much knew he was done as soon as the match was announced. I wanted to imagine Goldberg going down to the Claw but that’s not how WWE works. Anyway, not the worst, but the main event is almost all anyone will be talking about.

Results

Undertaker won a gauntlet match last eliminating AJ Styles

John Morrison/The Miz b. New Day – Rollup with tights to Kingston

Angel Garza b. Humberto Carrillo – Rollup

Seth Rollins/Murphy b. Street Profits – Stomp to Dawkins

Mansoor b. Dolph Ziggler – Moonsault

Brock Lesnar b. Ricochet – F5

Roman Reigns b. King Corbin – Superman punch with a chain

Bayley b. Naomi – Bulldog driver

Goldberg b. Fiend – Jackhammer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s that time of year again. About four months after getting back from the disaster that was the Crown Jewel trip, WWE is heading back to Saudi Arabia because they need the money. The card isn’t exactly looking stacked this time, likely because a lot of the wrestlers don’t want to go and risk being stranded on the other side of the world in a country that isn’t so friendly. But hey, maybe the stock can go up or something. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: OC vs. Viking Raiders

Remember when the OC got a random win over the Viking Raiders at the end of a gauntlet match and it didn’t mean anything significant long term? Well now we get a rematch! I mean one that comes after all of the other rematches of course but then again these shows exist in their old universe anyway. These teams have nothing to do with each other at the moment but it could be a nice power match.

The Vikings should go over here, at least based on the American storylines at the moment so I’ll go with them here. The OC are fine for anything you want them to do and the Vikings have some awesome squashes so we could be in for a fine match here. I don’t expect any real connection to the previous match in the country, but at least it should get the fans going.

SmackDown Women’s Title: Bayley(c) vs. Naomi

This is something I’m still surprised to see but the fact that it is happening again is a positive sign. Maybe they are making some tiny steps forward in the country and that’s better than nothing. I’m not sure how much it is going to mean in the bigger picture but I’ll take what I can get here. These two have been circling each other for a long time now and Naomi is an interesting challenger, but I’m not sure where this is going.

I’ll take Bayley to retain here, as there could be something big in the works at WrestleMania. I mean, I’m not sure how big as the only match they could really do of note is Bayley vs. Sasha Banks but we’ll have to get through the Elimination Chamber to figure that one out. Bayley retaining here makes sense, though it wouldn’t surprise me to see Naomi leaving WrestleMania as champion.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Seth Rollins/Murphy(c) vs. Street Profits

This was set up on Monday when the Profits ran in to make the save at the end of the show and that’s a good thing. The Profits are the kind of team who are always going to get a reaction, though I’m not sure how well things are going to go in a big stadium that might not recognize them. The energy alone is going to get them somewhere, though that’s not what matters here.

Rollins and Murphy retain here, as they should. The Profits will get the titles eventually, but Rollins and Murphy are doing something a lot bigger and shouldn’t be taking a fall at the moment. The Viking Raiders seem to be the likely candidates to take the titles and that can come later. For now though, Murphy and Rollins retain, though the Profits probably steal the show again.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar(c) vs. Ricochet

I want to believe that Ricochet has a real chance here and I’m doing everything I can to get a Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton vibe. Ricochet is the kind of guy who can do all kinds of good things in the ring and is one of the real stars that they have for the future. The problem is the timing though, as we’re a month and a half away from WrestleMania and it would take a miracle to change the title here.

Therefore, Lesnar wins in the easiest layup of the show, but I’m curious to see how good the match can be. It all comes down to Lesnar being interested in trying and you never know with him. If they’re willing to put in the effort, we could be in for a good match here and maybe even a great false hope spot, but it’s all going to be false hope because Lesnar retains here without much doubt whatsoever.

Mansoor vs. Dolph Ziggler

I know Mansoor is someone who is going to draw some eye rolls and that’s understandable, but he has managed to not embarrass himself whatsoever. His match against Cesaro was quite good and I could easily see him as a regular on NXT. Having him on this show isn’t absurd or going too far or anything like that and I’d rather Ziggler be in this spot than somewhere higher.

Of course Mansoor goes over because there’s no other point to putting him on the show. It’s not like this match is going to mean anything and it’s nice to see someone fresh getting a win. If nothing else, there’s something nice about seeing Ziggler lose, just because we don’t have to see him doing anything positive. Mansoor is little more than a (talented) mascot but he goes over here.

Tuwaiq Trophy Gauntlet Match

This is your multiple person match of the show and this one isn’t the most interesting in the world. There are six people in this one and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. WWE has been making these gauntlet matches go on a little longer as of late and while that can be a good idea in some situations, I’m not sure how well it’s going to work here as the names involved are hit and miss.

I’ll play it safe and go with AJ Styles here, as he is the kind of person you can put over in something like this with no worry of damage to anyone else. He’s won almost everything else in wrestling so having him pick this up is hardly going to be a surprise. If nothing else, Undertaker is all but confirmed for the show and maybe they can set something up for the rumored WrestleMania match.

Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin

So yeah, after what really felt like the blow off match on SmackDown a few weeks back, we get another match here with the two of them in a cage. This feud has been going on for about four and a half months now and any interest there might have been in it has gone through the floor ever since. The thing needs to just go away forever now because there’s nothing left for them to do.

Of course Reigns goes over here because there is no reason for the two of them to keep fighting. Reigns is going to go on to the World Title scene at WrestleMania and Corbin is likely to go on to some other big spot because WWE keeps pushing the heck out of him for whatever reason without ever learning why that’s a bad idea. But yeah Reigns wins here, as he should.

SmackDown Tag Team Titles: New Day(c) vs. The Miz/John Morrison

I know I’ve said this before but New Day are great filler champions. The problem is that they’ve been filler champions for the better part of ever over different reigns. The division never gets any better and that can be a little tiresome at times. It’s certainly not anything that seems to be getting better, but at least we have a fresh heel team here and what should be a good match.

For the sake of a little curve ball, I’ll go with a title change here, just to give the show some flavor. Miz and Morrison winning the titles would be a good way to make things move a bit though it wouldn’t surprise me to see the titles stay with New Day. They have to lose them at some point though and doing the title change here to set up a rematch at Elimination Chamber is as good as anything else they could do.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Angel Garza

This is another bonus match and yet another rematch from a recent show. The quality is going to depend on the amount of time that they get and you never know how that is going to be on a show like this. If nothing else, it’s going to be annoying having Andrade and Garza on the same show as I keep writing the wrong name for them anyway. At least Carrillo is easy enough to remember because of the Power Ranger outfit alone.

I’ll take Garza here as he has more charisma and overall ability though I’m not sure how much good it is going to do to have them fight again. The match will be an entertaining one and should get a few minutes, but it’s a match that has been done a few times now to not incredible results. Maybe this one will be the blow away match that gets the fans interested, but I can’t bring myself to get interested.

SmackDown World Title: The Fiend vs. Goldberg

And yet, they somehow have a main event that makes me wonder what we’ll be seeing. They really could go either way here and that should make for an interesting match. The Fiend losing here would seem strange, but the idea of Goldberg losing to someone like the Fiend just seems impossible. The match shouldn’t go on too long and very well could end with a spear, but I don’t think I can imagine it going that way.

I just can’t go with Goldberg here so I’ll say Fiend retains. If nothing else I certainly hope so, because I don’t want what has been an interesting character arc come crashing down just so we can get a “more WrestleMania” match between Reigns and Goldberg. You can do that match without having to take the title from Fiend and I’ll stick with the hope that they’ll do the right thing and have Fiend retain.

Overall Thoughts

I have no idea what to think of these shows anymore. Most of them have been disasters but Crown Jewel wasn’t half bad so maybe they’re getting the hang of things. Then again I have no reason to believe that is going to be the case again and I’m almost scared to imagine how some of these matches are going to end. Maybe it winds up being ok, but they don’t exactly have the track record to back that up.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton Corey Graves, John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

Pre-Show: Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Back with Natalya sending Becky into the barricade and taking her into the wrong corner to play some Ricky Morton. Natalya gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Nikki gets over for the hot tag to Naomi for some exciting yet still stupid looking offense. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a split legged moonsault for the pin on Alexa at 9:39.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Karl comes back in and hits a running kick to the chest but has to backdrop his way out of the Neutralizer. Anderson gets in the spinebuster but Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer. One referee takes the Brogue Kick by mistake so the second comes in to watch Anderson get Swung. Everything breaks down again and Anderson rolls Cesaro up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 10:28.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns has beaten champion Kevin Owens multiple times now but Chris Jericho constantly interferes to help retain the title. Therefore, Jericho will be locked in a shark cage above the ring despite the match being not DQ, which negates the point of the original stipulation in the first place.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Reigns is challenging and anything goes. Jericho and Owens try to jump Reigns to start but Roman knocks Chris into the cage and has it raised into the air. The fight is taken straight into the crowd with Owens taking the worst of it. Back to ringside with the champ taking over by hitting Reigns with the top of the table.

The superkick is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two on Owens and the champ is in trouble. They head outside again with Reigns being put on the table for a frog splash off the top. A chair is wedged into the corner and Owens becomes the first heel in a LONG time to send someone into a chair he set up.

Enzo and Big Cass shill chicken.

The Rumble debuted in 1988

Bret Hart was the first entrant

870 superstars have entered

3 females have entered and all of them have eliminated one person

23 different winners

98% of the entrants have lost

4 Rumbles in Texas

California and Florida have hosted 5 Rumbles each

507,102 fans have appeared

Rey Mysterio lasted 1:02:12

Edge only took 7:36 to win

Santino Marella lasted 1 second

Bob Backlund lasted 1:01:10 for the longest run without winning

HHH has spent 4:06:08 over 9 Rumbles

46 Hall of Famers

9 Hall of Famers won

Foley appeared 3 times in 1998

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending but Neville hammers him down into the corner to start with the champ in early trouble. Rich grabs a quick crucifix for two but Neville facelocks him to take over again. An elbow to the head sets up a chinlock as the match slows down again. Neville finally lets go and sends Swann into the barricade as this is completely one sided so far.

New Day shills Vudu.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Cena is challenging and they stare each other down to start. AJ goes after the leg to start and takes Cena down for a kneedrop. Cena tries an early AA but Styles lands on his feet and grabs a hurricanrana. The sliding forearm gets two and a German suplex into a facebuster gets the same.

Jerry Lawler is doing commentary on the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers.

Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

7 winners are from 1-10

4 have been from 11-20

19 have been from 21-40

27 is the lucky number

1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

2 people have won from #1

Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles and has the most eliminations

The title has been on the line twice

Four winners have been runners up

Six names have won twice

Steve Austin has won three times

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals. Big Cass is in at #1 and Enzo fills in some more time by singing about how much he loves Texas. After a speech about this is the big Rumble and Cass is going to act like HBK in 1995, Chris Jericho is in at #2. Cass starts fast and throws Jericho around, only to have to block the Walls. A catapult sends Jericho to the apron and Kalisto is in at #3.

Dean and Ellsworth agree to go after Strowman but James stays on the floor. James goes in and is quickly tossed, leaving Dean, Dillinger and Zayn to work on Strowman. Baron Corbin is in at #13 and makes it a quadruple team but Strowman gets rid of Dillinger for his seventh elimination. Corbin and company hammer on Strowman and Baron actually clotheslines Braun out on his own for a BIG surprise.

Again that goes nowhere as Cesaro is in at #19 with the ring getting too full. Cesaro Swings a bunch of people until Rusev superkicks him down. Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Sami, Jericho, Ambrose, Corbin, Kofi, Miz, Sheamus, Big E., Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. New Day hammers on Sheamus and Miz is sent into a double kick in the corner.

Enzo gets all fired up and takes one heck of a clothesline before being tossed. Goldberg is in at #28 and this could be very interesting. The spear drops Lesnar in a hurry and a clothesline gets rid of Brock two seconds later. Sami takes a Jackhammer but Orton and Wyatt jump Goldberg.

Pyro wraps us up.

Results

Charlotte b. Bayley – Natural Selection onto the apron

Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns – Pin after a powerslam from Braun Strowman

Neville b. Rich Swann – Rings of Saturn

John Cena b. AJ Styles – Attitude Adjustment

Randy Orton won the 2017 Royal Rumble last eliminating Roman Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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