Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2016
Location: Greensboro Coliseum Complex, Greensboro, Coliseum
Commentators; John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules 2016 and the only match announced for tonight is the Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows. For those of you not counting, this is the seventh time these teams have been in a match together since April 25, or once for ever Raw/Smackdown in that span. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ Styles to open things up. AJ is tired of Roman Reigns lying about him and he shows us TWEETS to prove that Reigns is saying AJ is in league with Anderson and Gallows. Apparently this is getting to him because it’s a new era and he’s tired of the same old stuff. He didn’t need anyone’s help to get to the top spot in the Tokyo Dome in front of 60,000 people and he doesn’t need anyone’s help to get where he’ll be on Sunday. Cue Reigns to interrupt to say AJ is indeed phenomenal.

Reigns gets annoyed with a WE WANT ROLLINS chant and says he’ll be in the Usos’ corner tonight. AJ will be in his buddies’ corner and cuts Roman’s “the guy” speech off. Reigns is indeed the guy…..that AJ is going to beat on Sunday. Roman shrugs it off and says he can do everything he wants to on Sunday. That’s going to prove that the bloodline (might be the new name for Reigns and the Usos) is stronger than the Club. Cue Gallows and Anderson but the Usos run in as well, only to have Reigns blast AJ in the face to send the Club away.

Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn

Miz and Owens are on commentary for the always brilliant FIVE MAN BOOTH. This is the aftermath of Zayn accidentally kicking Cesaro, his partner at the time, in the face on Smackdown to cost them a match. Cesaro starts fast and powerslams Sami for two but gets sent to the floor, allowing Sami to tease the dive. Instead it’s the springboard moonsault back inside as Owens walks off commentary because he “doesn’t care about this match”. Instead Owens goes after Miz and walks off with the Intercontinental Title. Miz goes after Owens to start a brawl and they get inside to draw the no contest at 1:47.

Cue Shane to make it a tag match which they completely couldn’t have done in the first place. Oh wait we’re not done though as Stephanie comes out to say it would be more interesting if the teams were Miz/Cesaro vs. Sami/Owens and if Owens walks out, he’s not in the title match on Sunday.

Cesaro/Miz vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Joined in progress with Cesaro escaping Kevin’s headlock and trying the Swing. Owens slaps Sami to bring him in to face Miz but Sami and Owens keep yelling at each other. One such argument results in Sami being knocked off the apron and into the barricade, which seems to bang up his shoulder as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the running corner clothesline on Sami and bringing in Cesaro to pick the bones with a running clothesline of his own (not a splash Cole, you dingbat).

Miz comes back in and punches Sami into the corner for the tag off to Owens for the big face comeback. There is money in a face run from Owens with him destroying everyone in sight and being built up for a big match. Cesaro comes in for the running uppercuts as everything breaks down. Miz sends Cesaro out to the floor to try his own Swing, only to have Cesaro give Miz the Skull Crushing Finale. The Helluva Kick puts Miz away at 10:47.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to after we spent five minutes watching Stephanie and Shane have a board meeting to set up a match. The idea of the guys doing each others’ moves was a bit of a surprise and a different idea and you had Owens being amazing to carry the thing. Also I’m fine with the champion losing in a tag match, especially after his own partner turned on him.

Owens lays Sami out post match and insists that his hand be raised because he won too.

Chris Jericho is furious at Dean for destroying a jacket more iconic to the WWE than Andre the Giant. He should call the cops but he’ll deal with this himself.

Video on Apollo Crews.

Shining Stars vs. Scott Jackson/Brian Kennedy

The jobbers are Corey Hollis/John Skyler from NXT. The Shining Stars are Primo/Epico as wrestling travelogues from Puerto Rico. JBL: “THEY’RE FINALLY HERE!” Primo says the ring is their paradise and they welcome tourists like these people from right here in North Carolina. Primo grabs Jackson to start before it’s off to Epico for two suplexes into a brainbuster. A hard shot to the face drops Kennedy and a butterfly suplex into a gutbuster makes things even worse. The Shining Star (Total Elimination) puts Kennedy away at 1:35.

The Shining Stars invite us to Puerto Rico.

Here’s Dean Ambrose, sporting a black eye, to call out Jericho. Chris is right there to tell Dean to shut his mouth. Jericho demands an apology to go with fifteen grand but first Chris has to tell the fans to be quiet. The apology isn’t happening because Dean wants a match at Extreme Rules. Jericho: “Just as I expected.” The match is on but Dean doesn’t know if Jericho is up to getting extreme anymore.

Jericho lists off his resume and accepts, so Dean has a cage lowered. BOY, IT’S A GOOD THING THAT WAS READY AND COMPLETELY NOT NOTICED ALL NIGHT LONG. There are weapons attached to the cage (including a mop and a potted plant), which Dean has dubbed the Asylum. Dean gives a long speech about how violent this is going to be while the announcers act like there has never been a match like this before. Yeah a weapons cage match is such an insane idea, though to be fair I’d try to forget the Extreme Elimination Chamber as well.

We recap the opening sequence.

Dana Brooke insults some people for not being in good enough shape.

Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch

In case their match on Smackdown wasn’t bad enough for you. No Emma here as she’s legitimately injured, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Becky kicks her out to the floor but Dana sends her head first into the barricade. A modified seated abdominal stretch has Becky in trouble but she comes back with the Bexploder. Dana counters a sunset flip out of the corner and sits down for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D+. Dana is in a very weird place right now as she was brought up to team with Emma but the injury has completely derailed that idea. The problem is that Dana isn’t anywhere near ready for this level on her own and needs a lot more time down in NXT. They would be smart to pull the plug on this and send her back down but WWE isn’t normally that smart.

We get the same Life Lesson with Bob Backlund from Smackdown with Backlund not understanding smartphones and telling Darren to put his desktop on the desk and his mail in the mailbox. In other words, there’s still no reason to watch Smackdown.

Shane and Stephanie are watching the Backlund ad when Stephanie gets annoyed at him for not bringing up the Asylum match. The Dudley Boyz come in to mention the Attitude Era, which gets one of them a match with Colin Cassady.

Video on Golden Truth FINALLY getting together after five months, capped off by this past Thursday when Fandango and Tyler Breeze turned on them.

Golden Truth vs. Breezango

Truth goes after Breeze to start but gets knocked down in the corner, allowing Fandango to come in and smash him in the face. A double clothesline puts both guys down so it’s off to Goldust vs. Breeze. Goldust starts cleaning house and everything breaks down, only to have Truth kick Goldust by mistake, allowing Breeze to get the pin at 1:58. For some reason the loss was very entertaining.

Post break Goldust doesn’t think the team has any future. Truth thinks they need to get the creative juices flowing and that they need to get their “fing shooie” in line. Everyone wants the Golden Truth but here are Breeze and Fandango to say the new era is passing them by. That’s enough to convince Goldust to stick with it.

Here’s New Day for a chat and there’s something under a curtain behind them. They’re not sure what’s up with the Vaudevillains being from a new era…..so Woods has built a time machine. Big E: “That’s clearly an old refrigerator box.” Woods: “IT’S THE NEW DAYLOREAN!” Big E. thinks the keyboard is from Woods’ parents house. Big E.: “WHY IS IT STICKY???”

They get inside and Kofi comes out to his SOS theme with a Jamaican accent. Woods pulls him back in, despite Kofi’s protests that 2009 was his best year. They come back out (after a lot of whirring noises and the camera going wonky) in black and white with a box of Derriere Squares and broken smart phones. Woods realizes this means there are no video games so Big E. shouts that they shouldn’t be here. Cue the Vaudevillains to beat them down, ending a hilarious segment WAY too early.

Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows

Reigns and AJ are at ringside. No Siva Tao for the Usos which is really odd to see. Jimmy superkicks Anderson to start and Gallows is knocked to the floor as well, giving us a meeting on the floor but not a break. Anderson takes over on Jimmy back inside, setting up a legdrop and chinlock for two. Something resembling a Whisper in the Wind puts Gallows down on the floor and Jimmy dives off the steps to drop him again. Anderson decks Jimmy and we get a lot of shouting to take us to a break.

Back with Luke crotching himself on the top rope and Anderson getting backdropped to the floor. Jey gets the tag and dives onto both of them, followed by the running Umaga Attack for two. Anderson breaks up a superplex attempt but charges into a spinebuster for two. Karl tries to run the ropes but eats a superkick with Gallows making the save. Gallows eats another superkick, followed by back to back double superkicks. The Superfly Splash ends Gallows at 12:48.

Rating: C+. I would say to never have them fight again but at this point they’ll probably have it again on Smackdown or at the pay per view. I’m really not sure why we needed the Usos to win here but I’m sure it’s something to do with teaching Gallows and Anderson their place in the company. It’s not like they can go anywhere else and be stars.

Post match the brawl keeps going with the tag teams being sent out to the floor. AJ picks up the chair but Reigns punches it out of his hands. Gallows and Anderson interfere but Roman drops them, allowing AJ to beat on Reigns with the chair, including a Styles Clash onto the chair.

Big Cass vs. D-Von Dudley

Before the match, Cass implies that D-Von is Steve Urkel. Bubba loads up an early table but gets on the apron for some near heel miscommunication. The East River Crossing puts D-Von away at 58 seconds.

Cass does S-A-W-F-T post match and you can see Enzo’s value deteriorating every second.

John Cena return video.

Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title and Kalisto slips on the way to the ring. Del Rio goes after the mask to start before sending Kalisto outside. Kalisto comes back and tries a hurricanrana off the apron, only to get caught and swung into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Kalisto taking a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker so Del Rio can show off the biceps. We see Sin Cara watching in the back as Rusev blasts him in the back with a stick.

Del Rio forces Kalisto to watch the beating on the screen before going HARD into the post off a missed charge. Alberto takes way too long for the top rope double stomp though and Kalisto comes back with a top rope hurricanrana. Cue Rusev kicking Cara down the aisle as Kalisto springboards into a seated senton. The hurricanrana driver gets two but the Rusev distraction lets Del Rio get in a Backstabber for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: D. Another champion loses because that’s how you build a title match. I’m so glad we got this mini League of Nations reunion after all that time they spent tearing them apart. If there’s a reason that Kalisto is being destroyed like this it’s not being made clear enough and this loss really didn’t need to happen. I’m sure this is going to mean the world to Del Rio too, because a pin over a champion isn’t something that’s going to be forgotten a week later, right D-Von and Paige?

Rusev kicks Kalisto in the back of the head and gives him a PAINFUL look Accolade post match.

Here are Shane and Stephanie to moderate the Women’s Title contract signing in the closing segment. They introduce Charlotte but Ric Flair comes out for the big hyped up introduction. Charlotte thanks her dad for the speech and wants to sign but Shane brings out Natalya. Getting her history wrong, Natalya says Charlotte beat her before without Ric in her corner (Ric and Bret were at ringside for that match).

Charlotte goes on a rant about how this is her city and how everyone loves her because her last name is Flair. Ric starts WOOing but Charlotte actually cuts her off. The champ goes to sign the contract but there’s a clause saying that Charlotte forfeits the title if Ric takes one step down the aisle.

Cue security to drag Ric away and if he doesn’t leave, the title is forfeited right now. Ric yells at Stephanie and calls her the worst businesswoman of all time. It’s time to fight Shane and the fans go nuts, only to have Stephanie slap Ric instead. Now security takes him out but Natalya has to save Stephanie from Charlotte. The champ is put in the Sharpshooter and taps out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a long, hard show to sit through. It really feels like they ran out of ideas before we got to Extreme Rules and this was what we were stuck with instead. There’s very little that has my interest for Sunday and this show made that interest go down even further. I don’t know what they need to change at this point but a go home show with the Colons in a new gimmick and Breezango vs. Golden Truth really isn’t a good sign.

Results

Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn went to a no contest when Kevin Owens and Miz interfered

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens b. Cesaro/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz

Shining Stars b. Scott Jackson/Brian Kennedy – Shining Star to Kennedy

Dana Brooke b. Becky Lynch – Rollup

Breezango b. Golden Truth – Breeze pinned Goldust after R-Truth accidentally kicked him

Usos b. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson – Superfly Splash to Gallows

Alberto Del Rio b. Kalisto – Backstabber

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at the League of Nations and why they were just fine.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-they-came-we-saw-they-were-fine/

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 2016
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Payback and things are getting interesting around here. The big story at the moment revolves around what’s going to happen with the recently debuted Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, who may have attacked Roman Reigns to help AJ Styles. AJ has denied it but there’s a chance that this could be a Bullet Club reunion. Let’s get to it.

We start with an In Memory Of graphic for Chyna. That’s almost more than I was expecting.

The opening recap focuses on Reigns, AJ and Gallows/Anderson from last week.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. Shane talks about how he’s here because of the fans and this Sunday is the first pay per view of a new era. I do love how they’re just admitting that Smackdown means nothing and comes along on Raw’s ride. Cue Stephanie to make her big return and suck up to the Hartford crowd as she was born in this town.

Apparently this is Shane’s last night running the show because Vince hasn’t been pleased. Therefore, we’re going to find out once and for all who is running the show. Shane does a quick poll of the crowd to predictable responses but Stephanie says she isn’t leaving. That’s fine with Shane, who is in charge tonight and therefore calls security down to remove Stephanie from the ring. She fights them all the way to the back as is her custom. Shane introduces our first match.

AJ Styles vs. Sheamus

Sheamus drives him into the corner to start (take a shot) but AJ comes back with his dropkick sequence. It’s back to the heavy forearms to knock AJ around so Styles hits one of his own to put Sheamus on the floor. A moonsault off the apron misses though and Sheamus sends him into the steps to take us to a break.

Back with Sheamus holding the chinlock (take another shot), followed by two straight Irish Curses for no cover. Off to a bearhug and you can’t fault Sheamus’ psychology here. AJ escapes and avoids a charge to send Sheamus into the post (take another shot) and go up top. Sheamus tries a super White Noise but AJ escapes into a release super powerbomb of all things. Looked good too.

It’s time for the running forearms and kicks in the corner until AJ is sent face first into the buckle. A nice powerslam gets two for Sheamus but he can’t get the Cloverleaf. Instead AJ comes back with a good looking Pele to put both guys down. Sheamus is up first this time and throwing on the Cloverleaf until AJ gets a quick rope. The Brogue Kick hits the ropes though and it’s the Phenomenal Forearm to put Sheamus away at 14:26.

Rating: B. This has been a great buildup for Styles who has taken down one big name after another before he gets ready for the World Title match. In other words, there has been no 50/50 booking or making either the champion or the challenger look like a goon. The commentary helped here too as they talked about how similar Sheamus and Reigns are. This was a really well done setup and the whole thing worked exactly as they were hoping for. Oh and it was a good match too, which doesn’t surprise me.

Anderson and Gallows come out to look at AJ, which fuels the conspiracy theory for some reason.

Roman Reigns is watching in the back when the Usos come in to suggest that they’ll have his back on Sunday. Reigns doesn’t seem to hate the idea. The fans in the arena were chanting WE CAN’T HEAR YOU during this.

Here’s New Day to talk about how awesome their tournament has been while promising to party like it’s 1999. This brings out the Vaudevillains to say they want to party like it’s 1899 when they beat up those mange ridden mongrels Enzo and Cass. Of course this brings out Enzo and Cass to a BIG reaction with Enzo saying he’s hotter than a 104 degree fever and wants to run down a beach and jump into his own arms. Woods says they’ll beat whoever wins because NEW DAY ROCKS. I miss simple little build segments like this without a match or a big blowoff or something. Just let people talk.

Gallows and Anderson leave AJ’s locker room.

John Cena will be back on Memorial Day, May 30.

Usos vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows

No team name yet but they do have matching white vests. Cole says Anderson and Gallows were in “a club” with Styles over in New Japan. Jimmy and Anderson get things going with the twin taking over to start. It’s off to Jey for chops of his own, only to have Anderson come back with a hard leg lariat. Gallows comes in for a really big clothesline to turn Jey inside out before Anderson starts working on Jimmy’s bad shoulder.

The bald guys take turns chinlocking Jey before it’s back to Anderson with another armbar. Jey’s uppercut is knocked away with an even bigger uppercut from Gallows and the bad arm is bent around the ropes. Jey goes up top but gets knocked down hard, sending the shoulder into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Jey kicking Anderson away and making the hot tag off to Jimmy for the array of strikes. Another big clothesline turns Jey inside out though and Anderson posts him for good measure. The Magic Killer (elevated suplex into a neckbreaker) knocks Jimmy silly at 13:52.

Rating: B-. Good debut here and really just a step above a squash. This was total domination with Anderson and Gallows looking like the monsters they needed to be. I could easily see them getting the titles by the summer as New Day can move on to something bigger and it’s not like anyone else needs the belts at the moment. Also the Usos will be fine as they’re as made as a tag team can be.

The beating continues post match until Reigns comes out for the save.

Styles says he had nothing going on with Gallows and Anderson. The two of them come in to say they’ll have his back on Sunday and can do whatever he wants.

We look back at the history between Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens with both guys talking about how they grew up together and were best friends for years. Then Sami won the NXT Title in December 2014, only to have Owens turn on him and take the title a few months later. Owens debuted in WWE a few months later and beat John Cena in his first match on the main roster. Sami injured his shoulder around the same time and was out for months before returning in January 2016 to eliminate Owens from the Royal Rumble. Owens thinks Sami is the one making this personal. This Sunday it’s about payback.

Sami Zayn vs. Rusev

Rusev has Lana with him for the first time in what feels like months. Sami can’t do much with the power to start and gets stomped down on the bottom rope as the fans want Lana. A headscissors takes Rusev down but the slingshot plancha is pulled out of the air with Sami being dropped onto the apron. Sami pops back up though and moonsaults off the barricade to drop Rusev again. Rusev kicks him hard in the head though and we take a break. Back with Sami fighting out of a front facelock and hitting a high cross body. Rusev throws him down but can’t get the Accolade, allowing Sami to roll him up for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C. Sami needed this win a lot more than Rusev, though the incredible downfall for the Bulgarian continues. It’s so strange to think that he was feuding with Cena for the US Title just a year ago and now he’s a midcard monster for someone like Sami. Still though, the right guy won and it really wasn’t that shocking.

Lana throws a shoe at Sami post match. That goes nowhere so Owens runs out and drops Sami with a shot to the back.

Stardust interrupts Apollo Crews in the back but Apollo calls him Cody to make things serious. Apparently Dusty Rhodes came up with the name Apollo, which makes me wonder what Crews’ name was before that. Stardust is odd as usual.

Apollo Crews vs. Stardust

Crews starts fast with his standing moonsault to avoid Stardust and a dropkick gets two. Stardust kicks him down and takes off his gloves for some reason before cranking on Crews’ arm. That goes nowhere so Crews gets two off the standing moonsault. The lifting powerbomb gives Crews the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D+. They need to go somewhere with Crews or he’s going to get boring with the constant smiling and squash wins over low level guys. It’s hardly a lost cause or anything but he’s getting close to the Rocky Maivia territory. Give him a story or a quick feud or something, as long as it doesn’t mean listening to Crews talk that much.

Here’s Dean Ambrose for a chat. Dean was supposed to host the Ambrose Asylum tonight but he’s not in the mood for fun and games after he was attacked from behind last week. This Sunday he’s facing one of the best of all time but he’s ready to fight. Jericho may be the best in the world at what he does but Ambrose is pretty good at what he does too. When Ambrose sees a problem, he rolls up his sleeve and starts leaving bruises and chipping teeth because that’s what he does.

Dean wants Jericho out here right now so here’s Chris to call him an idiot. Jericho isn’t wasting his time fighting Ambrose in a dump like Hartford. Instead, Dean should be down on his knees kissing Jericho’s $1,500 boots for letting him be in this ring. Jericho changes his mind and asks for an apology from Ambrose for stealing the Highlight Reel. Dean apologizes that Jericho paid that much money for such ugly shoes, for wearing a scarf everywhere and for that Bon Jovi haircut. He’s not sorry for the brawl that starts but Jericho quickly gets the better of it and puts Dean in the Walls on the announcers’ table.

Natalya vs. Emma

Charlotte is on commentary. Emma quickly takes it outside for a gutwrench suplex before we hit a seated full nelson. Not that it matters as Natalya gets up and grabs the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:19.

Natalya stares Charlotte down first match so the champ hides behind Ric.

Chyna tribute video. It’s nice that they’re actually doing this. Most of this is a series of clips and then a series of tweets from various wrestling personalities commenting on her passing.

Baron Corbin vs. Damien Sandow

In a role reversal from Smackdown, no match as Ziggler jumps Corbin from behind and chases him off.

Greetings From Puerto Rico.

Here are Miz and Maryse to talk about Miz’s title defense against Cesaro on Sunday. Miz is used to being tormented by the anonymous internet trolls who now think Cesaro is going to win on Sunday. This title is more than important because it’s legendary. Miz is tired of seeing all the handmade signs saying CESARO SECTION because the fans should be better than that. You can have your internet section because he has a Miz section that looks like Maryse.

This brings out Cesaro to interrupt but Miz goes into a Robert De Niro speech from Taxi Driver. Cesaro promises to roll the credits on Miz’s title reign and tells Miz to make his day. Miz goes to leave but tries a cheap shot, earning himself Swiss Death but Maryse dives on top of her husband to prevent the Swing. Cesaro holds up the title. I could totally go for this “let’s yell at each other and make the story more unique” to set up big matches. If only that had been done for decades instead of “here’s a match three times before the BIG version of it that you have to pay for.”

AJ comes up to Reigns in the back and says he’s taking the title on Sunday. Reigns thinks Gallows and Anderson already have ringside seats.

This week’s Kickoff match is Ryback vs. Kalisto for the US Title.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Roman Reigns

Non-title. Roman throws him around to start and gets in one of those running corner clotheslines. The running enziguri staggers Reigns though and Del Rio double stomps him from the apron as we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding the chinlock a bit longer than usual before hitting a DDT for two. The low superkick misses though and Reigns comes back with his series of clotheslines. That earns him the now standard booing but Del Rio bails to avoid the Superman Punch.

Instead it’s the apron kick to send Del Rio into the post, only to have him kick the ropes to crotch Reigns as he comes back in. This is referred to as a kick to the hamstring due to reasons of convenience, allowing Del Rio to get in the superkick for two. Del Rio misses the top rope double stomp because Reigns is able to drop down instead of sit up, allowing Reigns to hit the Superman Punch. Cue Anderson and Gallows to stare Reigns down, allowing Del Rio to roll Roman up for two. The spear puts Del Rio away at 13:00.

Rating: C. At least they seem to be turning Reigns heel because there’s just no way it’s going to work as a face act at this point. No matter what Reigns does, that booing is part of the whole package now. They’re certainly acknowledging it now though and that’s the best thing to happen to Reigns in a long time.

Post match Anderson and Gallows come in for the beatdown. AJ runs out to stop them but gets Superman Punches. Gallows and Anderson come back in, allowing Reigns to hit the Phenomenal Forearm to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show started off looking great and then really ran out of steam in the second half. However, they did a lot of good things to help set up the pay per view and you can still see the momentum from Wrestlemania. The key thing for me is they’re doing a better job of setting up feuds and big matches.

Whether it’s the rather awesome World Title match or Sami vs. Owens (ok so that one wrote itself) or Cesaro going after Miz and the title, most of the matches have gotten a much stronger focus than in previous months. Above all else though they all seem to have a mostly unique story and setup.

With Cesaro vs. Miz it’s Cesaro never holding the title before and all the movie stuff. With the tag tournament match you have two unique teams with a bit of a history in NXT. With the Women’s Title you have the families feuding (not a fan but at least it’s something). The key though is everything has a story instead of “well they’ve fought a bunch of times and now they’re fighting again” or “contractually obligated rematch”. It makes things feel fresh for a change and that’s something WWE has been lacking for years now.

Results

AJ Styles b. Sheamus – Phenomenal Forearm

Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson b. Usos – Magic Killer to Jimmy

Sami Zayn b. Rusev – Rollup

Apollo Crews b. Stardust – Lifting powerbomb

Natalya b. Emma – Sharpshooter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 13, 2016
Location: Valley View Casino, San Diego, California
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

It’s going to be an interesting week as most of the roster is off on the international tour. However we have some fresh names tonight in the Vaudevillains who debuted last week and the even fresher team of Enzo and Big Cass, both of whom will be in the tag team tournament tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Del Rio vs. Styles and Jericho vs. Zayn tonight, both for the first time ever.

Maryse introduces the Miz for MizTV. Miz calls her the love of his life and the only woman worthy of being his wife. It seems that Maryse is the guest this week as Miz asks what it’s like to be married to him. That would be perfection with Maryse calling Miz an a-lister and a role model for children around the world. Miz actually gets on his knee in front of her to promise holidays with Leo in St. Bart’s, which Maryse calls the real life People Magazine.

This leads to them making out, only to be interrupted by Zack Ryder because he doesn’t seem to get that it’s over. Ryder asks Maryse what it’s like to be married to someone who wears more makeup than her. Yeah the title might be gone but Ryder is looking forward to seeing Cesaro take the title from Miz at Payback. This sets up a challenge for a title match right now but apparently Ryder already has a match tonight. For some reason Miz knows this and Ryder doesn’t.

Zack Ryder vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin throws Ryder around like the jobber that he is to start before sending him out to the apron. Whatever springboard move Ryder was trying is knocked out of the air with a single punch as the announcers put Corbin’s battle royal win over very hard. We hit the chinlock on Ryder, followed by a northern lariat (correctly called by Ranallo). Zack gets in a middle rope dropkick for his hope spot but the Broski Boot doesn’t work. Instead the End of Days puts Ryder away at 3:12.

Rating: D+. Well it was nice while it lasted Zack but we’re back to reality now. This was the same squash that it would have been even if Ryder never won the title in the first place, which makes that whole thing feel even less important. Corbin has a good presence to him and the finish still looks good but he’ll need to go somewhere else before this gets tiresome.

Post match Corbin goes after Ryder again but Dolph Ziggler runs out for the save. I’m assuming that’s Corbin’s first major win.

Kevin Owens mocks Renee Young and threatens to get involved in Zayn vs. Jericho. His advice is to have Renee go ask Sami if there’s any insight as to what’s going to happen in the main event.

Emma vs. Paige

Paige gets a jobber entrance. The announcers make various unfunny jokes and puns as Paige takes Emma into the corner to start, only to get caught in a rollup to send her head first into the bottom buckle. Emma stomps away in the corner and we hit a seated full nelson as Ranallo actually brings up the Fabulous Kangaroos. Paige kicks away and gets two off a running knee to the chest. Some right hands in the corner are broken up with Emma dropping Paige face first onto the top turnbuckle…..for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: C. Well it was no NXT classic but they did enough to make Emma look more like a player on the main roster. It’s a shame how badly they screwed her up a few years back but it’s nice to see that things could turn around for her. There’s potential there and if they’re going to set up something with this division, they’ll need all the help they can get.

We recap the first two tournament matches and the debut of Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows.

We look back at Bray Wyatt teaming with Roman Reigns on Monday. I guess we can call that the first shovel of dirt out of Bray’s grave after Rock buried him eight days prior. You know, because he totally did and when you’re buried, it’s because your career is over. Like, totally over and there’s no recovery ever.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Ascension

Enzo and Cass are WAY over here, as you would expect. Before the match, Enzo talks about how tough a neighborhood they grew up in. It was so tough that they almost got sent to live with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. He could think of a million bad things to say about the Ascension but the worst of all is that they’re the Ascension. Cass promises to win the titles and declares all of their opponents to be SAWFT.

Enzo and Konnor get things going with a hard shoulder dropping Amore. It’s off to Viktor who is quickly sent into the wrong corner, allowing the tag to Big Cass. Enzo gets slammed onto Viktor for two but Konnor knocks Amore off the apron and into the barricade to take over. Back in and Viktor slaps on a chinlock for a bit before avoiding a charge to send Konnor into the post. The hot tag brings in Cass for the house cleaning, including the Empire Elbow to Viktor. Everything breaks down and Konnor gets kicked in the face, followed by the East River Crossing and Rocket Launcher for the pin on Viktor at 4:33.

Rating: C. Nothing for the wrestling but the important thing here is how Enzo and Cass know how to work the formula. Cass is great at coming in and cleaning house after the smaller Enzo takes a big beating. There’s a great history of big guy/small guy teams and these two have more than enough charisma to go around, meaning they could have a nice future ahead of them.

AJ Styles talks about fighting everywhere to get to the top and now he has to fight Roman Reigns to get to the top of WWE. Alberto Del Rio comes in and says that Del Rio has been fighting for table scraps but tonight we’ll get to see if all that hype is real. Del Rio says AJ doesn’t belong here and AJ agrees. AJ: “I belong in the ring.”

AJ Styles vs. Alberto Del Rio

In a far too common theme tonight, Del Rio drives him into the corner to start as Ranallo compares AJ vs. Reigns to Muhammad Ali vs. Ken Norton. Well at least it’s not Scott Norton. The feeling out process sets up the dropdown into the dropkick, which you really should see coming if you’ve ever watched any AJ Styles match.

AJ fires off chops but gets kicked in the chest for two. A top rope ax handle gets two more before AJ sidesteps a charge to send Alberto’s shoulder into the post. The running enziguri knocks AJ off the apron and a big dropkicks ends AJ out to the floor again. Back from a break with AJ fighting out of a chinlock, as so often happens when we come back from a break.

The striking sequence drops Del Rio and AJ nips up, followed by the running clothesline in the corner. AJ loads up a pumphandle but gets countered into a Backstabber to leave his mouth hanging open. The low superkick misses though and AJ Pele’s him for two. Del Rio gets in a reverse superplex and thankfully doesn’t severely hurt AJ by dropping him on his head. Alberto misses the top rope double stomp but avoids the forearm. Instead it’s the armbreaker, which is quickly countered into a rollup for the pin on Alberto at 13:55.

Rating: B. They’re doing a good job of building AJ up as the guy who never gives up and fights until the end, especially against big names that are higher up on the food chain. It’s almost like they’re doing a good job of building up a challenger before a champion knocks him off in the title match. Good match here and the well booked story continues.

Goldust tells R-Truth that Golden Truth won’t be a thing tonight. Fandango comes in and announces himself as Goldust’s new partner, which means tandem gyrating. Truth doesn’t want to join them and looks flabbergasted.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Vaudevillains vs. Goldust/Fandango

English stomps on Goldust to start and a double right hand puts him down. The snap powerslam gets Goldust out of trouble and it’s off to Fandango for a comeback that goes nowhere. Well other than into a Whirling Dervish to send the Vaudevillains to the semi-finals that is.

We look back at Dean Ambrose taking over the Highlight Reel and laying Jericho out.

Jericho says he’s been beating up amateurs since he got back because people like Styles and Ambrose have no respect for the veterans. He’s the greatest of all time and proved it right here in this dump (“Yeah it’s a dump!”) when he beat the Rock and Stone Cold in one night. Tonight he’ll make Zayn feel the pain because he’s the best in the world at what he does.

Greetings From Puerto Rico video.

Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho poses to start so Sami rips the skin off his chest with a chop. That sends Jericho outside for a chair through….and here’s Kevin Owens. He doesn’t get very far down the ramp before Dean Ambrose comes out with fliers for the Ambrose Asylum before sitting in on commentary. Sami finally remembers that a match is going on and rolls Jericho up for two. Dean annoys Jericho with a flier and we take a break.

Back with Owens on commentary as well and actually complimenting Dean on the new show. Jericho knocks Zayn outside and poses a bit before a top rope back elbow gets two. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock as Dean and Owens get in a mini argument, resulting in Owens throwing away his flier. Sami gets a quick two off a high cross body and the climb up the corner tornado DDT gets the same. The Helluva Kick misses though and the Walls go on to put Sami in real trouble.

Ropes are of course reached but Sami’s springboard is broken up by a running forearm. Owens and Ambrose are now full on cheerleaders until Jericho runs Dean over and sends him into the barricade. Jericho dives at Sami but hits Owens by mistake before heading back inside. Chris yells at Sami a lot, earning himself an exploder suplex into the corner. The Helluva Kick is loaded up but Owens comes in for the DQ at 15:11.

Rating: B-. I liked AJ vs. Del Rio a little bit more but this also set up a few things down the road while also building up the two pay per view matches. Sami winning without getting the pin is a good idea as you can’t keep having him get pinned all the time. It’s not a great match or anything but at least it set some stuff up for the future.

Sami and Dean clean house to end the show and likely set up a tag match.

Overall Rating: B. Now that’s more like it. This was how you run a Smackdown as there was good wrestling to go along with some (basic) storyline advancement. It’s always nice to see them doing something interesting and important instead of just having matches for the sake of matches. The extra wrestling helped as well with the mostly empty roster helping more than it hurt, which was quite the surprise.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Zack Ryder – End of Days

Emma b. Paige – Emma pinned Paige after dropping her onto the top turnbuckle

Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Ascension – Rocket Launcher to Viktor

AJ Styles b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Vaudevillains b. Goldust/Fandango – Whirling Dervish to Fandango

Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2016
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Things have changed a bit now as we’re past Wrestlemania weekend and back to the normal way of life around here. AJ Styles is the new #1 contender to WWE World Champion Roman Reigns and we have Shane McMahon as the new temporary boss of the show. It should be interesting to see where that goes but you never know if anything is actually going to happen. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to the memory of Blackjack Mulligan.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going, unfortunately suggesting that the new regime means more talking. He gets right to the point: tonight we’re starting a tournament for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles. On top of that, AJ Styles is going to be facing Roman Reigns at some point in the future. That’s quite the opportunity. Another opportunity will be given tonight as AJ Styles will be facing Sami Zayn. If Zayn wins, he’s added to the World Title match at Payback.

This brings out Kevin Owens to say that he’s getting ripped off because Shane has a few screws loose after diving off that Cell. Shane says Owens has blown his opportunities but Owens sees it as being ripped off over and over. Kevin wants his rematch at the Intercontinental Title so Shane is willing to give Owens a chance, if he can win a match tonight. The winner will get a title shot at the Miz, presumably at Payback.

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Winner gets Miz for the Intercontinental Title. Owens bails to the ropes to start and heads outside for an early breather. A headlock has Cesaro in trouble but Owens gets shoved outside again. Back in and Owens realizes that Cesaro has a big bandage on his shoulder and grabs a wristlock followed by an armbar. This turns into a discussion of the Authority with JBL brow beating Byron about how awesome HHH and Stephanie are. Cesaro comes back with the running European uppercuts and a dropkick for two. Owens sends him shoulder first into the post though and we take a break.

Back with Owens kicking him in the arm to break up the Swing before rolling through a high cross body into a crossface. Cesaro rolls into the ropes but Owens pops up to the top for a great looking frog splash and a near fall. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered though (possibly due to Owens shouting about how it’s over) with Cesaro scoring a springboard uppercut. The shoulder gives out on the Swing though and Owens sends the arm into the buckle. Another attempt at the powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana though and Cesaro grabs the Neutralizer for the pin and the title shot at 14:50.

Rating: B-. If they don’t give Cesaro the title at Payback they’ve lost their minds. Cesaro was his usual self here and the fans are way into him, at least much moreso than they are with the placeholder Miz. Owens losing clean isn’t the best result but at least it gives us a good option with the title shot.

We look back at Natalya getting in Charlotte’s face last week.

Charlotte is ranting about how she should be on Legends With JBL instead of defending against someone like Natalya. This brings in Dr. Phil to say that Ric is holding her back and now letting her be who she is. Phil wants her to stand on her own two feet and be her own woman. This results in a WOO off with Ric. Words cannot describe how forced Phil felt here.

Shane ejects Owens from the building to prevent him from screwing over Sami later.

Here’s New Day to talk about the tag team tournament. Much like a game of NBA Jam, this division is on fire. Woods shows us the following brackets:

Usos

Social Outcasts

Golden Truth

Vaudevillains

Enzo/Big Cass

Ascension

Lucha Dragons

Dudley Boyz

They’ll be at ringside for at least the first match.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Lucha Dragons vs. Dudley Boyz

This is joined in progress but we come back with Kalisto down on the floor and being attended to by medics. D-Von attacks Sin Cara anyway and we see a clip from the break of Kalisto being sent hard to the floor and taking a hard clothesline from D-Von to cause the injury. We get things going with the Dudleyz attacking Cara from behind, setting up a quick 3D at 2:04 shown.

Post match here are Enzo and Cass to draw a HOW YOU DOIN chant. Enzo says the catchphrases but the Dudleyz cut them off to say they’re the kind of team that paved the way for Enzo and Cass. D-Von: “We’re the reason you guys exist.” Enzo: “No the reason I exist is my mom and dad got it on, how you doin.” Cass says they’re putting holes in the ground so Bubba and D-Von need to put on their hard hats and get back to work because they’re SAWFT.

Owens leaves the arena.

Here’s Roman Reigns with something to say, including the “I’m the guy” sequence. Roman talks about tonight’s match for the #1 contendership, which doesn’t matter because he’s going to be champion for a long time. This brings out the League of Nations with Sheamus asking how confident Reigns would be if he was fighting one of them for the title. Rusev calls himself the best looking man in the WWE and Del Rio does his usual insults.

The fight is on and here are the Wyatts of all people for the save. The League is quickly out and we’ve got the Wyatts staring Reigns down. Before this goes anywhere, Shane comes out and says that tonight it’s any two members of the League vs. Roman/Bray. BUT I THOUGHT BRAY WAS BURIED AT WRESTLEMANIA! HOW CAN HE BE IN THE MAIN EVENT EIGHT DAYS LATER????? THE INTERNET CAN’T BE WRONG ABOUT THIS STUFF!!!!!

Primo and Epico send their greetings from Puerto Rico.

Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and Dr. Phil is at ringside. Natalya tries a choke to start but gets countered into a spinebuster, only to go for an armbar instead. That sends Charlotte bailing to the floor, followed by the stepover into the basement dropkick back inside. Back in and Charlotte starts dropping some knees before choking with the leg across the throat as we take a break.

Back with Charlotte doing those headscissors face pounds before putting on the Figure Four. That goes nowhere so Charlotte puts on a Sharpshooter but Natalya rolls through for the break. A release German suplex sets up the discus lariat but Charlotte punches her in the face to break up the Sharpshooter. Charlotte kicks her in the face for two more, only to miss a moonsault. Now the Sharpshooter goes on but Ric tries to get in. That goes nowhere so Ric pulls the referee out, just as Charlotte taps, drawing the DQ at 11:00.

Rating: C+. So ignore the referee watching Charlotte tap I guess. This was straight out of the Evolution playbook and it’s getting old. Hopefully, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, the Dr. Phil thing leads to Flair and Charlotte splitting but they really need to stop doing this same nonsense over and over. We get it: Flair can cheat to help Charlotte keep the title. Now let Charlotte do her thing.

Dr. Phil is disappointed.

We look back at Kevin Owens attacking Sami Zayn last week.

Sami says he didn’t come this far to lose because he’s the underdog from the underground. This brings in AJ Styles to say he agrees with all that, but he’s the only #1 contender and that’s how things are staying.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Usos vs. Heath Slater/Curtis Axel

Jimmy works on Axel’s arm to start before it’s off to Jey who seems to injury his arm/shoulder early on. Jey gets stomped down in the corner and it’s back to Axel for a chinlock. Slater comes in as the referee sounds like he said to go home. Heath clotheslines Jey down and it’s time for the Bo Train so Jimmy gets the tag and rolls up Slater for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D. This was a bunch of laying around with the Usos getting a fluke pin. I mean, it’s not like you want to push the Outcasts over a team like the Usos or anything because no one is going to buy it long term but at least come up with something better than stomp, stomp, chinlock, rollup.

Post match the BULLET CLUB (Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson) debuts to beat the Usos down. Jey is sent shoulder first into the steps a few times as the fans are VERY pleased with the debut. They leave through the crowd as security forces them out.

Miz and Maryse are in the back with the latter yelling at a production assistant for having blue M&M’s and American water. JoJo comes in and gets yelled at too but Miz brags about his car and calls himself Cesaro’s Kryptonite. The last line requires two takes until Cesaro interrupts. Cesaro promises to roll out the red carpet version of all his uppercuts at Payback. Miz tries some water, causing Maryse to freak out that it’s domestic.

Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles

If Sami wins, he’s added to the World Title match at Payback. AJ goes after the taped arm to start but Sami reverses into some rollups. Sami jumps over him and snaps off some armdrags into an armbar and it’s a standoff. That’s fine with AJ who suplexes him down a few times, only to get chopped HARD in the corner. The dropdown into the dropkick gives AJ his first real advantage and we hit the quickly broken chinlock.

Zayn goes to the floor and eats a stiff knee to the face for two back inside. Back in and Sami knocks AJ right back to the floor for the big flip dive and we take a break. We come back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock, only to eat the seated forearm. The AA onto the knee gets two for Styles but Sami pops back up with the high cross body for two. A tornado DDT connects for two more as they’re just trading big moves here.

The half and half suplex is countered with the Pele but the Phenomenal Forearm is countered into the Blue Thunder Bomb for the hottest near fall in the business from a move that has never won a match. AJ rolls into the Calf Crusher but Sami finally gets over to the ropes. With nothing else working, AJ loads up a super sunset powerbomb, only to have Sami backflip out. The Helluva Kick misses though and the Phenomenal Forearm puts Sami away at 16:50.

Rating: B+. This was your standard (yet awesome) let’s hit each other with one big move after another until one of us can’t get up. Sami losing is fine as he’s basically a Canadian Daniel Bryan on the main roster. AJ gets another big win to look like he could pull off the miracle at Payback, meaning everyone gets something out of this. Well done, as usual.

Shane congratulates Sami and AJ on a great match.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho and a surprise special guest. Jericho tells us to shut up and enjoy the greatness that is himself before talking about all the people he’s beaten. Cue Dean Ambrose who gets in trouble for touching the potted plant. Dean has something from Shane and gives Jericho a piece of paper. Jericho: “This is a California speeding ticket.” Dean: “Oh wait I need that for later.”

Apparently the gift from Shane is a note saying that the Highlight Reel has been canceled and replaced by the Ambrose Asylum. Dean even has a tie for the special occasion. Dean asks Jericho about losing last week and a brawl breaks out, capped off by Dean hitting Dirty Deeds to leave Chris laying.

R-Truth is in the back when Goldust comes in to see him. Goldust asks about the audition that Truth promised him for tonight but now they’re in a tag team tournament. Truth says that is the audition and wants to know whose bright idea this was. Cue Dr. Phil (drawing a lot of booing) to say something but he just walks away instead.

Apollo Crews vs. Adam Rose

They run the ropes to start until Crews does a standing moonsault and clotheslines Rose to the floor. Rose clotheslines him down for two, only to lose a battle over a suplex. Dallas tries to offer a distraction but Crews just hits the toss powerbomb for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D. This was another debut style squash with Crews destroying someone that had no chance in the match. They need to get him over because he really didn’t have enough time to develop a reputation in NXT but you can only have him go over the Outcasts so many times before it stops mattering.

Video on Baron Corbin.

Bray says Roman can trust him.

Roman Reigns/Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio

Bray insists that he start for his team and takes Sheamus into the corner, setting up a quick spider walk. Reigns tags himself in and helps stomp away, only to get booed out of the building. It’s back to Bray for the cheering but Sheamus gives him a quick Irish Curse to set up a top rope double stomp from Del Rio for two. A chinlock goes nowhere so it’s back to Reigns for the hot tag (because of the crowd heat) and a boot to Sheamus’ face.

Sheamus tied him up for the ten forearms, only to have Del Rio kick him in the ribs to break up a comeback attempt. The fans count along with Sheamus before it’s off to Del Rio. The top rope double stomp is broken up with a situp (thank you), only to have Sheamus break up the comeback. Roman drops Sheamus again and looks over at Bray before making the hot tag to Wyatt for the big comeback. A release Rock Bottom drops Del Rio and the running cross body gets two with Sheamus making the save.

Roman knocks Sheamus outside but the Superman Punch is knocked out of the air. Rusev kicks Bray in the head and the Backstabber gets two on Bray. Thank goodness for that as they had me thinking they were going to have him lose his first match as a face. Cue the Wyatts to take out Rusev and have a standoff with Del Rio. Alberto slides back in and eats Sister Abigail for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: B-. This was better than it had any right to be and thankfully it seems that they’re teasing turning Reigns heel soon enough because the booing isn’t stopping now that they’re past Wrestlemania weekend. Bray looked awesome as a face (bizarre but awesome) and there could be something interesting if they push this hard. Good match too, which stuns me even though all four are good workers.

Bray and the Family stares at Roman to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I had a good time with this show and they did a great job of pushing the wrestling as the focus tonight. Unfortunately the show still feels far too long and needed to be an hour shorter but the Bray Wyatt face turn gives me some hope for the future. It’s clear that people want to cheer him so it’s far past the point of having him turn. I’m not sure if the Family sticks around or not but at least we’re getting something out of him for a change. Good show overall though and a good followup after last week.

Results

Cesaro b. Kevin Owens – Neutralizer

Dudley Boyz b. Lucha Dragons – 3D to Cara

Natalya b. Charlotte via DQ when Ric Flair interfered

Usos b. Heath Slater/Curtis Axel – Rollup to Slater

AJ Styles b. Sami Zayn – Phenomenal Forearm

Roman Reigns/Bray Wyatt b. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio – Sister Abigail to Del Rio

And something I don’t understand.

For reasons that I absolutely cannot fathom, this seems to have been changed to just a match instead of a title match. The only possible reason for this would be the League going over and since that might be the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, it’s probably what we’re going to be seeing.

New Day is on such a roll right now that they deserve a major win on a major stage to continue their long title reign. The League is in the midcard spot that they belonged in and were destined to reach as soon as they formed. There was no reason to turn this into a title match and then make it a regular match but somehow that seems to be where we are. Oh and how amazing is New Day’s entrance going to be? Just think about that for a second. New Day’s entrance at Wrestlemania in front of 100,000 people. How is that not going to be one of the coolest things ever?

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXIX
Date: April 7, 2013
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 80,676
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s hard to believe this show was almost a year ago. The main event is of course Rock vs. Cena II in the sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. Other than that we have CM Punk challenging the Streak and HHH vs. Brock Lesnar in another sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. I wasn’t too hot on this show live but Wrestlemania is always worth checking out. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is defending. Miz backflips out of an early belly to back suplex attempt and gets two off a fast rollup. He tries to jump over Barrett in the corner though and gets kicked in the ribs to give the champion control. Barrett: “How awesome is he now?” Miz is laid on the top rope and a running knee to his ribs gets two. Barrett loads up his boot to the face with Miz in the ropes but Miz gets his own foot up instead.

The Reality Check gets two for Miz but both guys escape finishers. Winds of Change gets a close two for Wade but Miz ducks the Bull Hammer and hooks the Figure Four. Barrett is quickly into the ropes though and pops up with Wasteland for two. Miz picks the leg and takes Barrett to the mat for the Figure Four and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This was perfectly fine as they wanted to fire the fans up before the show got started. It’s amazing how far these two have fallen in the last year as Miz is floundering even more and Barrett is a one note character. This result wouldn’t mean anything as Barrett got the title match the very next night.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie talks about Hurricane Sandy hitting New Jersey back in October and destroying a lot of the Jersey Shore. But the people of New Jersey fought back and rose up along with New York because they’re unbreakable and unstoppable.

The opening video talks about moments that change the world forever and how they make time stand still.

I still like the female part of that I’m Coming Home song.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Shield

The three guys had been having issues with Shield for months now. At this point, Shield still hasn’t lost a six man tag and Big Show isn’t trustworthy but he’s a necessary ally. Basically everyone thought Orton was going to be the one to turn on his partners here though. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come from the top of the stadium this time. Reigns starts with Sheamus and they slug it out in the corner. The cameras are all over the place as they keep switching angles.

A running ax handle puts Reigns down and a clothesline is good for one. Orton comes in and drops a knee before hitting the Garvin Stomp. Rollins comes in but walks into a dropkick followed by ten right hands in the corner. The fans are WAY into this so far. Back to Sheamus who gets his knee dropkicked out, allowing Ambrose to come in for some fast stomping. The fans are even more into Ambrose but he walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus goes to tag Orton but Big Show tags himself in instead.

Show rips the vest off Ambrose for the chop in the corner but Dean tries a chop of his own. That just makes Big Show mad so he hits ten straight chops. Dean dropkicks Big Show in the knee just like Sheamus got earlier and it’s back to Rollins who tries to keep Big Show down. Shield starts their fast tags as Cole says they’re like a swarm of hornets. Rollins hits some running knees to the head for two before it’s back to Reigns for a chinlock. Show suplexes his way to freedom but Rollins knocks Orton to the floor.

The giant backdrops Rollins from his knees and the hot tag brings in Sheamus. The Irishman rips the vest off of Rollins for the ten forearms. Ambrose gets a tag and is immediately caught in the ten forearms as well. There’s the rolling fireman’s carry to Ambrose and another one to Rollins who lands on Dean. Reigns pulls Sheamus outside though and the double teaming begins.

Orton is whipped into Rollins to put both guys down but Shield throws Rollins back inside. The Triple Bomb to Sheamus is broken up by a Big Show spear in a nice visual and everyone is down. Show reaches out for a tag but Orton takes it himself, ticking Big Show off. Randy loads up the RKO on Ambrose but has to catch a springboarding Rollins in an RKO. Reigns comes in with the spear though and puts Dean on top for the pin as Big Show watches from the apron.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing that Shield is actually still together a year later and have become even more dominant. I thought they would win the match coming into this and I’m glad the first loss wasn’t here at Wrestlemania. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t have the time or the near falls that make most Shield matches awesome. Still though, good opener and Big Show was somewhat justified in his actions.

Big Show yells at Orton post match and knocks out both of his partners.

Music video on Rock vs. Cena II with the theme of legacy vs. redemption.

Snooki is here.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

This is a simple idea: how big of a guy can Ryback Shell Shock? Henry also choked Ryback during a bench press challenge a few weeks earlier. Ryback was on fire a few months before this but has fallen through the floor in the time since. They stare each other down to start before Ryback wins an early slugout. Some clotheslines put Henry against the ropes but he runs Ryback over to a big pop. A powerslam gets two for Henry and we get a Sexual Chocolate chant.

Ryback can’t suplex him but Mark lifts Ryback up and places him on the apron for a ram into the buckle. Back in and Henry pounds on the spine before we hit the bearhug. Ryback is thrown outside but he dives back inside at two. The bearhug goes on again but Ryback fights out and drives Mark into the corner. There’s the Meat Hook and Ryback easily picks Mark up for the Shell Shock, drawing Ryback’s first pop of the match. Henry grabs the ropes though and falls onto Ryback for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing but a slow power match here though the Shell Shock attempt looked good. The booking still doesn’t make sense to me as Henry would challenge Cena to a title match tomorrow night before Ryback closed the show by turning heel and getting the title shot on PPV. Why not have Ryback win here, have Henry answer the open challenge, and THEN have Ryback go after Cena, saying Henry almost beat Cena (he did) so imagine what Ryback could do. The whole thing was backwards. Anyway the match wasn’t great and they only kind of did the Shell Shock, which was the whole point of the thing.

Post match Henry goes back in to stomp on Ryback some more but the Big Guy fights back and Shell Shocks Henry. Again, why not have that be the ending?

The announcers play with the new WWE action figures. JBL beats up the Rey Mysterio toy in some nice continuity.

Video on the WWE partnering with the Special Olympics.

Some Special Olympians are here with Stephanie McMahon and Chris Christie.

Tag Team Titles: HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston

This is Langston’s in ring debut and his team is challenging. AJ is with them as well and Dolph is Mr. Money in the Bank. Bryan’s beard is only a foot or so long here. We get a nice bit of continuity to start with Ziggler kissing AJ on the apron after the bell, allowing Bryan to kick him in the head for a close two. The YES Kicks have Ziggler in trouble but he dives to the corner after ducking the big one. Both power guys come in now and it’s Kane taking over with right hands to the face, only to be caught in a series of backbreakers.

Langston runs Kane over and it’s back to Ziggler who gets two off a dropkick. Dolph doesn’t stay in long as he tags Big E. back in, only to have him get caught by a running DDT. Now it’s already back to Ziggler who walks into a side slam. Kane misses the top rope clothesline but Ziggler almost entirely botches the Fameasser, meaning it’s only good for two. A hard clothesline drops Ziggler but Big E. breaks it up at the last second. Langston nails the Big Ending but Bryan takes him to the floor. AJ throws in the briefcase but misses the big show, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam, setting up Bryan’s Swan Dive to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This was more short than anything else. They seemed to be teasing leaving Ziggler fresh so he could cash in later which people were expecting like the birth of a child at this point. HELL NO was a good team and a good stepping stone for Bryan to the main event scene in the coming months.

Make-A-Wish video starring John Cena.

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

This is the dancing feud so Fandango has a full dance troupe with his original brunette dance partner, soon to be replaced by Summer Rae. It’s also Fandango’s in ring debut under this name. Fandango dances to start but is quickly taken down to the mat by Jericho. A hard slap sends the dancer to the floor before Jericho brings him back inside and hammers away in the corner. The fans are entirely behind the Canadian here.

Fandango jumps over him in the corner but walks into the Codebreaker to send him out to the floor. A hard baseball slide drops Fandango again and a BIG dive off the top knocks him to the floor. Back in and Jericho slaps him in the face but Fandango enziguris Jericho down to break up the springboard dropkick. Fandango stomps away before putting on a chinlock as Jericho’s forehead is cut open.

Jericho fights up and runs Fandango over with some shoulders before hitting a top rope dropkick. A Thesz Press of all things drops Fandango and there’s an enziguri to make up for earlier. Fandango sends him shoulder first into the post to take over again and the guillotine legdrop gets two.

Back up and Jericho counters a dropkick into a Walls attempt but Fandango kicks away. He goes up again but Jericho shakes the ropes to bring him down. A superplex is countered by a series of headbutts, only to have Jericho avoid another legdrop attempt. The Lionsault connects but Jericho tweaks his knee, allowing Fandango to small package him for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad for the most part and I’m not sure I can argue against it being the biggest upset in Wrestlemania history. Fandango may have wrestled as Johnny Curtis before but this was his debut as the character, making it a big deal to have him win here. Jericho has always been great at making people look good and that’s exactly what he did here.

We look back at the pre-show match with Miz winning the Intercontinental Title.

Another video on Rock vs. Cena, this time focusing on Rock and his fans. By this I mean fans saying Rock’s catchphrases.

We get a video of classic Wrestlemania moments set to the song playing in the Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed fight in the first Rocky movie. This leads into a Sean Combs medley.

We recap Del Rio vs. Swagger. It’s a basic story: Del Rio is from Mexico and Swagger’s new manager Zeb Colter is very anti-foreigner. He’s as close to a white supremacist as you’ll get in modern WWE and rants about how evil foreigners are crippling America. The government won’t do anything about it so Jack Swagger will instead. He won the Elimination Chamber to earn the title shot here and has injured Ricardo’s ankle coming into the match.

Del Rio had turned face late last year and was on a roll as champion. He was suddenly a patriot who loved America but was also proud of being from Mexico. The character worked very well and his matches got about a hundred times better. Even I was digging Del Rio around this time while I’m not generally a good fan.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

After all that, Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance. AT WRESTLEMANIA. Colter goes into a rant about how horrible this country is because of how many other languages people speak now, including Chinese and Yiddish. However, Swagger will fix everything tonight by winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio wears an old school robe and after the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Del Rio quickly sends him to the floor and sends Swagger into the announcers’ table but gets trippled by Colter. Back inside and Jack sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Jack drops him with a kick to the head. The Vader Bomb gets two but Del Rio counters Jack instead of having his knee wrapped around the post. Back in and Jack runs into a boot to the face before taking a few clotheslines to put the champion back in control.

Alberto stomps on Colter’s hand for good measure before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered into a kind of powerslam for a very close two as Jack is in control again. Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock but Alberto quickly kicks away. He misses the enziguri in the corner though and Jack stays up. Del Rio comes right back with a series of forearms in the corner and the Backstabber is good for two.

The champion hits a German suplex but takes his time following up. His cross armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb to give Swagger a two count and there’s the Patriot Lock again. Alberto is almost to the ropes but Jack pulls him back into the middle. Instead Del Rio pulls him down into the armbreaker but Jack counters that into the Patriot Lock.

This time Alberto makes the ropes before countering another gutwrench suplex into a kick to the head. He limps into the corner enziguri for two as Colter puts Swagger’s leg on the ropes. Zeb goes even more evil by kicking Ricardo’s leg out to draw Del Rio outside, allowing Jack to send him into the barricade. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere to retain the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. This was getting good in the middle but they ran to the finish almost immediately. There’s a chemistry there and I’d love to see them do stuff on the mat and trade submissions for fifteen minutes. Instead it didn’t even get eleven and they cut off the technical stuff to go for the manager. That being said, it’s still a good match but it could have been great.

WWE supports the National Guard.

We recap Undertaker vs. CM Punk. As usual, Punk is trying to break the Streak but this time there’s an added caveat. Undertaker’s long term manager Paul Bearer recently passed away and Punk interrupted Undertaker’s tribute to him to promise to break the Streak. He even stole Bearer’s Urn and tossed it around like a football before dropping it on the concrete.

CM Punk vs. Undertaker

Living Colour plays Punk to the ring and Heyman is still at his side here. As always, Undertaker’s entrance is just freaking cool. Punk slaps him in the face to start and fires off forearms in the corner. Undertaker misses another big right hand and gets slapped in the face, so this time he just kicks Punk in the face. Punk is thrown out to the floor and into the timekeeper’s area where Undertaker nails him in the head again. The Dead Man loads up the announce table rams Punk into the post before being thrown back inside.

There’s a right hand to the head as the dueling chants begin. Taker drops the leg on the apron before driving his shoulder into Punk’s to set up Old School. Punk pulls him down off the top rope with an armdrag though and starts ramming elbows into Undertaker’s head. In something I can’t remember seeing from anyone else, Punk hits Old School to Undertaker. You can see how much he’s loving this and the facials are making it so much better.

Punk nails a Russian legsweep and cranks on Undertaker’s right arm. That goes nowhere as Undertaker puts him into the corner and hammers away but hits his own knee on a charge. A baseball slide puts Undertaker on the floor and Punk drops a top rope ax handle (with the finger poke of course). Back in and Punk gets two off a neckbreaker but Undertaker comes back with right hands. A high kick gets two for Punk as Heyman shouts about CM getting more and more momentum.

We hit the chinlock on the taller guy but Taker quickly fights up, only to charge into a boot to the face. Punk tries another Old School but crotches himself on the top rope. A big right hand puts Punk on the floor but Heyman gets on the apron to block the Taker Dive. The distraction lets Punk hit another neckbreaker for two. Punk nails the running knee in the corner followed by the Macho Elbow for another near fall. Taker escapes a GTS attempt and plants Punk with a chokeslam for two of his own.

A big series of right hands has Punk covering up in the corner and it’s the snake eyes and big boot combo but Punk leg lariats Undertaker down to block the boot. The dueling chants pick up again before Punk sends Taker back to the floor. An uppercut slows Punk down but he’s able to escape a Last Ride through the table. He kicks Undertaker in the head to set up the Macho Elbow onto the table, which doesn’t break. That always looks sick.

Both guys are down and Punk looks to have injured his leg. Punk is able to get back inside and we tease a countout until Undertaker dives back in at nine. Back in and Undertaker tries Hell’s Gate but can’t quite get it on. Punk flips over for two and hooks the Anaconda Vice. Undertaker’s shoulders stay down for two but he sits up and stares Punk in the eyes for a great counter.

The chokeslam is countered into the GTS but Taker bounces into the ropes and hits the Tombstone for a very close two. They slug it out but Punk’s shots have no effect. Taker loads up the chokeslam but Punk shoves the referee down. Heyman distracts Undertaker but Punk injures his knee by kicking Undertaker in the ribs. The Last Ride is countered by an urn shot for another close two. The GTS is countered into a Tombstone which is countered into a GTS which is countered into a Tombstone to make Undertaker 21-0.

Rating: B. I liked the match but it’s still not as good as it’s made out to be. The urn to the head into the Undertaker cover was done better at Wrestlemania X7 and I never bought Punk’s covers as serious threats. It’s still a good match and I was into it more than the match at Wrestlemania 27, but it’s still not Punk getting inches away from breaking the Streak like it’s been made out to be.

Undertaker picks up the Urn for a nice tribute to Bearer.

Ad for the Mick Foley DVD.

Video on Cena, focusing on redemption.

Michelle Beadle is here.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. They started feuding the night after Extreme Rules 2012 when Lesnar broke HHH’s arm, setting up a match at Summerslam. Brock beat HHH by breaking his arm again and HHH thought about walking away. However, Lesnar attacked Vince and put him in the hospital. This fired up HHH enough to want a rematch here at Wrestlemania on the grandest stage of them all. Brock also broke Shawn Michaels’ arm and you know that’s too far for HHH.

It’s No DQ and if HHH loses he has to retire. This is of course completely different from the no holds barred match at Summerslam. From what I remember, a grand total of no one wanted to see a rematch but it’s HHH at Wrestlemania so you knew it had to happen. The stipulations dropped the interest even further.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Shawn and Heyman are in the respective corners. As always, Brock looks nothing short of terrifying. HHH has powder all over himself as he comes out through a skull entrance. They slug it out to start and of course HHH gets the better of it. Remember when Brock just destroyed Cena and Big Show with right hands? Forget that, because they’re not HHH. A knee to the ribs finally puts Lesnar in control but they fall out to the floor. Lesnar is sent into the barricade and then into the announce table as HHH is dominating in the first minute.

Brock comes back with a chair but misses a swing and hits the steps. They head into the crowd with HHH clotheslining him back to ringside. Back in and HHH blocks the chair shot with a running knee before throwing Brock back to the floor. Brock goes head first into the steps but comes right back with an overhead belly to belly. There is a MASSIVE bruise on Brock’s left pectoral. Shawn is looking concerned as Brock suplexes HHH through the announce table and roars.

Another overhead belly to belly on to the remnants of the table have HHH reeling. Back in and Brock stomps away in the corner before charging into a boot. Not that it matters as he comes right back with a third belly to belly for two. HHH tries to elbow out of a German but gets thrown down again with ease. Another German gets two but HHH fires off right hands, only to be whipped over the corner and out to the floor.

Brock glares at Shawn long enough for HHH to come back with a big running clothesline. Another clothesline puts Brock in the timekeeper’s area and there’s a big chair shot to his back. Back in and Brock snaps off another German for two before knocking Shawn off the apron with a big right hand. Trips comes back again with a spinebuster because he’s capable of going move for move with Brock Lesnar. A Pedigree is countered into an F5 attempt but Brock lets go to avoid a superkick from Shawn. It’s Michaels taking the F5 instead, only to have Lesnar take the Pedigree for two.

The sledgehammer is brought in but Brock ducks the shot and takes a massive F5 for two. They head outside again with HHH being whipped hard into the steps. The steps bounce off HHH’s head before Brock throws them into the ring for some fun. Another shot with the steps is good for two as the fans aren’t really responding to a lot of these near falls. Even Heyman says that’s enough but HHH slaps Brock in the face.

A slugout (won by HHH of course) is countered into the Kimura but HHH drives him into the corner for the break. The same hold is countered the same way before Brock puts him on the middle rope to slap the hold on again. HHH lifts Brock into the air and puts him down with another spinebuster to break. Brock misses a charge into the post and HHH hits a hard low blow to put both guys down. HHH crushes the arm against the post with a chair as

Shawn is laid against the barricade with his head up watching. Another chair shot to the arm crushes it against the steps and HHH puts on a Kimura of his own. Heyman tries to interfere but walks into a superkick. Brock finally powers up and slams HHH down onto the steps for another break. HHH grabs the hold again and gets slammed down onto the steps one more time. There’s a third Kimura to Brock but he plants lifts HHH into the air, only to be countered into a DDT on the steps. A sledgehammer to the face sets up the Pedigree on the steps for the pin.

Rating: B. As mentioned earlier, the match was good but the interest just wasn’t there. The times when HHH was able to go punch for punch with Lesnar were just ridiculous but we live in HHH’s WWE anymore. At least he didn’t make Lesnar submit to an MMA hold and Lesnar got to break some stuff. The match is certainly entertaining and I can live with HHH winning at Wrestlemania, but they had to keep it going one more match as a result which was pure overkill.

Hall of Fame time. This year’s class includes Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Booker T, Donald Trump and of course Bruno Sammartino.

Wrestlemania XXX is in New Orleans.

The new attendance record: 80,676.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. The Rock

Twice in a lifetime. Rock is of course the crowd favorite and defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a lot of time to work with here. A hard shoulder puts Rock down before they do the exact same sequence with the roles reversed. Rock grabs a second headlock before throwing him down with a hiptoss. Cena bails for a bit before taking over with right hands and a hard whip into the corner.

The fans are entirely behind Rock here as he comes back with more right hands and a hard whip of his own. More mirroring of the other. Some shots to the chest have Cena in trouble but he comes back with a clothesline followed by a chinlock. Back up and a belly to belly gets two on Rock before we’re back in the hold again. Rock counters into a sleeper as the crowd is oddly quiet.

That goes nowhere so Rock grabs a Samoan drop to put both guys down again. Cena gets two off a fisherman’s suplex but misses the tackle. The STF doesn’t work either and Rock grabs his bad looking Sharpshooter. That goes nowhere as Cena powers out and initiates his finishing sequence, only to miss the Shuffle. A Rock Bottom is countered into a bad looking crossface (not the STF Cole you dolt) but Rock rolls out.

Now the Shuffle connects but the AA is countered into a spinebuster. The Elbow takes too long though and now the STF (JBL: “THERE is the STF Michael!”) goes on, only to have Rock power out of it. The Rock Bottom gets two and so does the AA, with the latter allegedly ripping Rock’s abdomen apart and giving him a hernia which means he’s probably never wrestling again because insurance companies don’t want to deal with that risk.

Cena misses the top rope Fameasser and now the Elbow connects for two. John rolls outside so Rock can recover a bit. Back in and Rock wins a slugout but tries a cross body which is of course easily caught. Cena looks bored catching him like that. The AA is countered into another Rock Bottom followed by more laying around. Rock tries the Elbow again complete with You Can’t See Me but he runs into the AA for two more. They slug it out yet again and Cena hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two.

John loads up the People’s Elbow just like last year but hangs onto the ropes when Rock gets up. The AA is countered into yet another Rock Bottom for yet another two. They counter finishers again until Rock nails a DDT to break the finisher streak at like 8. Back up and another Rock Bottom is countered into another AA to give Cena the title back.

Rating: B-. Now just to clarify, they did get in some finishers right? This was bordering on parody with all of those kickouts as they went from headlocks and shoulders to Rock Bottom/AA a go-go for the last ten minutes. It was entertaining for the most part but much like any other match, when you pound finishers into the ground like they, they stop meaning anything.

They say something we can’t hear and shake hands after the match. Cena leaves Rock alone in the ring and waits for him on the stage. They pose together to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show is definitely entertaining and I shortchanged some stuff when I watched it live. My main criticism still holds up though: nothing felt big here. Even a year later, what is important here? Cena won the title, only to have Bryan charge up the ladder and become the real star after Cena feuded with Ryback for a few months. Lesnar and HHH had their real blowoff a month later. Punk vs. Undertaker was good but the real moment for Punk was at MITB.

Overall the show works well enough and is entertaining for a one off viewing, but it doesn’t feel like a big deal. The two main events are both rematches from the previous year and that isn’t the best idea for Wrestlemania. It didn’t help that the last three matches all had really obvious endings so it was more about just killing time rather than any intrigue. Still though, all three of those matches are at least good and there’s nothing really horrible so it’s definitely a solid show.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: C

Shield vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston vs. HELL NO

Original: C

Redo: D+

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D

Redo: C

Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/07/wrestlemania-xxix-and-so-it-ends/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.

Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.

We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.

Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.

Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.

He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.

Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.

We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.

Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?

Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.

Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.

Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.

Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.

A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.

HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.

Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Fastlane 2016
Date: February 21, 2016
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second pay per view of the year as we’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania. In this case we have a triple threat main event of Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the #1 contendership in what should be one heck of a fight. Any of the three could win and that’s what can make this even better. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kalisto is defending and this is 2/3 falls. Del Rio goes right after the arm to start but Kalisto kicks away at the knees for a breather. JBL talks about how Goliath wins in real life as Kalisto hits the hurricanrana driver to set up a big dive out to the floor. Back in and Del Rio gets two off a snap suplex with Ranallo (only calling the pre-show) comparing this to a feud between rappers. Kalisto sends him into the post but Del Rio blasts him with a chair for the DQ, giving Kalisto the first fall at 4:05.

For some reason the second fall doesn’t being immediately so Del Rio whips him all around ringside as we take a break. Back with both guys in the ring and Del Rio demanding that the second fall begin. Well I mean Kalisto has only had about three and a half minutes to recover so maybe they should. Del Rio does a standing version of the double stomp in the corner for the pin at 7:35.

The third fall begins less than a minute after the second ends with Del Rio getting two off a clothesline. The full version of the top rope double stomp is countered with a hurricanrana though and Kalisto speeds things up with the corkscrew cross body. Another hurricanrana driver gets two and a running tornado DDT gets the same for the champion. Kalisto gets crotched on top and actually doesn’t counter the reverse superplex into the Salida Del Sol.

Instead Del Rio sends him out to the floor for another double stomp off the barricade. Kalisto dives back in to beat the count at nine and Del Rio is frustrated. He loads up ANOTHER top rope stomp (as in like the fifth one of the match) but Kalisto moves away. They go for what was supposed to be the Salida Del Sol but can’t quite get it, leaving Kalisto to send Del Rio into the buckle for a rollup pin at 14:30.

Rating: C-. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like they were trying to showcase how many different ways Del Rio could do that one stupid move in a row. On top of that, Kalisto doesn’t even get to hit his big finishing move that made him a star in the first place and basically gets squashed until a fluke ending. I’m really not sure why this needed to be 2/3 falls and the match was a step down from their usually good stuff.

The opening video is the Eva Marie racecar theme with a focus on the main event.

Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch vs. Tamina/Naomi

Earlier today, Naomi said she and Tamina put the BAD in Team BAD. Never let her speak again. Becky tries to start but Sasha tags herself in, only to have Becky do the same thing a few seconds later. The quick legdrops nail Tamina with the spinning version getting two. Naomi comes in for her dancing kicks bug Becky throws Tamina down with a suplex and BAD gets dropped on the floor. Naomi comes back with something like a Stunner over the top rope to drop Becky. Unfortunately this means we have to hear the racecar sound effects on every replay which are already old.

Back in and Tamina clotheslines Lynch for two before it’s off to the chinlock. JBL: “Tamina could have been in the APA.” It’s off to Naomi for a legdrop and chinlock of her own before being sent back to the floor. Naomi pulls Sasha off the apron to break up a tag attempt, only to have Becky do some quick house cleaning and dive over for the hot tag to Sasha. It’s time for the knees all around until Naomi misses the double knees in the corner.

A backstabber sets up the Bank Statement but Tamina pulls Sasha out to the floor. Back in and the Rear View gets two, followed by Tamina’s superkick for the same with Becky breaking up the count. Sasha flips out of a double suplex and Becky comes in with a missile dropkick to both of them. The Bank Statement to Tamina and the Disarm-Her to Naomi are good for the double submission at 10:00.

Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end but the first half was a lot of laying around in chinlocks and rest holds as we sat through Tamina and Naomi trying to have charisma. Naomi is one of those cases where you have to wonder what they were thinking. She’s incredibly athletic but for some reason they decide to make her a heel instead of focusing on all of her national abilities. Such is life in the Divas division.

We look back at the Intercontinental Title changing hands on Monday.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and Dolph’s hair is…..odd. They fight up against the ropes to start and Ziggler eats a headbutt. Owens’ chinlock is countered into something like a rear naked choke as we hear again about Ziggler’s amateur background which he almost never uses. Back up and Ziggler throws him HARD into the buckle for an awkward looking landing. You can tell it’s awkward as they show four replays of the thing.

We hit the chinlock from the champion until Ziggler avoids a charge, sending Owens shoulder first into the post. The rapid fire elbow drops get two for Dolph and Owens crotches him on the ropes to break up the running DDT. The Cannonball gets two, causing the champion to yell at Cole for talking bad about him. Now the DDT connects for two and Dolph loads up a superplex, only to have Kevin reverse into that spinning fisherman’s superplex.

Both guys roll outside with Ziggler superkicking him down for a near ten count. Back in and they trade more superkicks with Owens having to kick out at two and a half. JBL: “We’re at a superkick party!” They go outside again with the apron powerbomb being countered into a hurricanrana to send Owens into the steps. Back in again and Ziggler tunes up the band (which apparently is paying homage to Shawn Michaels because everything has to be), only to nearly kick the referee, allowing the Pop Up Powerbomb to retain Owens’ title at 15:02.

Rating: B-. Just a longer version of any given match they’ve had on Raw in recent months (and by recent I mean several because these guys fight like once every few weeks) with the obvious and logical ending. They tried to pump up the idea of Ziggler in front of his hometown but even then people stopped caring a long time ago. Could it be because Ziggler has been the same guy for years now?

We recap the Wyatts being all evil and attacking the old guys, which of course includes that old rascal Ryback.

Wyatt Family vs. Kane/Big Show/Ryback

Bray is on the floor, sitting in Byron Saxton’s chair. Ryback and Rowan get things going with the bearded one missing a charge in the corner. It’s off to Big Show for the loud chops on Erick’s exposed chest with Ryback coming in again for some of his own. Rowan elbows Ryback down and the tag brings in Harper for a dropkick of all things.

We get the Strowman appearance as the announcers hit all of their standard lines about how big and strong he really is. Like, really, really strong. Braun throws Ryback around and brings Rowan back in, allowing Ryback to hit a quick suplex. The hot tag brings in Kane as Cole brings up the Wyatts abducting Kane a few months back. Yeah remember that? It’s still every bit as stupid. Kane cleans house for a bit until they get him down in the corner to start the slow motion exchanges.

Braun drops an elbow to the back of the head as we get a Bill Kazmeier name drop. A running boot misses in the corner and the hot tag brings in Ryback to clean house. Ryback slams Harper five times in a row (Cole: “This is incredible!” No Cole, it isn’t.) before powerslamming him for good measure. Everything breaks down and Strowman is sent to the floor with Harper being tossed on top of his partners. Show spears (kind of) Strowman and Ryback Meathooks Harper. A Shell Shock (really a Samoan Drop) is enough to pin Harper at 10:36.

Rating: C. What? No really, what? There was no reason to have the Wyatts lose here and you have a team of makeshift goons go over them here? For what? Well at least Ryback got the pin and Bray didn’t…..yeah this isn’t working for me. I mean, how in the world do you have the Wyatts lose here? I honestly do not get this and I really don’t want to imagine where they’re going next.

Roman Reigns talks about how everything changes tonight between himself and Ambrose. Dean comes in and says they’re both going to Wrestlemania but he’s tired of hitchhiking. Reigns: “I wouldn’t book that trip just yet.” Ambrose: “I already booked it! I got a great deal on Priceline!” Neither of them are worried about Lesnar either.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Charlotte, which is built around Daniel Bryan retiring and Charlotte mocking Brie for her husband having to quit. Brie pinned her in a non-title match to earn the shot tonight.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and throws Brie (wearing Bryan’s kick pads) down face first to start. That gets us the first mock YES chant of the match as Byron talks about Brie wanting to listen to the birds chirp, sending JBL into a hilarious rant about how stupid that sounds. Brie comes back with some forearms and an armdrag, allowing her to WOO and strut because this is really about Flair.

Charlotte sends her out to the floor for a few moments before Brie counters an Alabama Slam into a sunset flip for two. Back in and Charlotte cranks on both arms but Brie tries (and horribly fails) at a YES Lock attempt, eventually settling for a crucifix for two. A Backpack Stunner breaks up Brie’s sleeper and we hit a Figure Four Neck Lock into those rolling flips. JBL: “Maybe Charlotte is just tired of the birds chirping.”

The BRIE MODE running knee sets up a Nikki Bella forearm for two. Charlotte comes back with chops (because neither of them can do anything but tribute moves) but the Figure Eight is broken up. A dropkick knocks Charlotte outside, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. As is so often the case in a Flair match though, Brie comes up holding her knee.

That doesn’t stop her from firing off the YES Kicks (of course), followed by a Bella Buster for two. The Figure Eight is countered into the YES Lock but Brie swaps that for a half crab to prevent Ric from interfering. Charlotte finally kicks her off and a quick Figure Eight makes Brie tap at 12:14.

Rating: C+. The match was better than it had any right to be but amazingly enough, the combined forces of Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella weren’t enough to make me care about Brie. That kind of shortcut booking rarely works for me, especially when you have someone like Brie who has been a loser and such a horrible in ring worker for so long. You can’t just forget about that kind of stuff, no matter which of her relatives are hurt. But at least Charlotte got pinned clean, which of course no one is going to remember.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho, which is basically Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro from NXT minus the 2/3 falls stipulation because Kalisto vs. Del Rio needed to go six or seven falls. They split the first two matches and AJ convinced Jericho to do it again here tonight. This is almost guaranteed to be one of the better matches on the card.

Jericho talks about how you’re only as good as your last match, which he promises to prove to AJ tonight.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and AJ has to fight out of an early Walls attempt. Jericho has to do the same to avoid the Calf Crusher, which starts the dueling chants. AJ drops a knee for two and it’s time to slug it out. A top rope ax handle drops AJ, who pops right back up with a dropkick. The chants start up again as the fans are definitely more into this than anything else all night.

They head outside with Jericho sending him hard into the barricade before slapping on a chinlock. JBL compares AJ coming over here to Kobashi or Hansen coming over from Japan in their primes. AJ fights up and sends Jericho to the floor, only to dive into a dropkick to the chest. Another chinlock doesn’t get Chris very far as AJ fights back and hits a running forearm to a seated Jericho.

They mess up the moonsault into the reverse DDT (to be fair that’s a really hard move to pull off) and Jericho scores with the enziguri for two. A Tesshocker (belly to back suplex into a faceplant) gets two more for AJ, only to have Jericho come back with a bulldog and Lionsault for another near fall. AJ comes back and tries the springboard forearm but Jericho springboards into the dropkick to break it up. The Pele stuns Jericho on the top and AJ loads up a super hurricanrana which is countered into the Walls.

AJ gets the break so Jericho throws him outside and puts him in the Walls on the floor. A Codebreaker brings AJ back in but he’s way too close to the ropes. AJ’s striking sequence is countered into a tiger bomb which is countered into the Styles Clash for a very close near fall. Now it’s back to the Calf Crusher and Jericho finally taps at 16:28.

Rating: B. Were you expecting anything else here? They’ve had good matches the previous two times and this worked as well, though I liked their Smackdown match a little bit better. Jericho tapping clean in the middle of the ring is the right ending because you can quickly build him up for whatever you want him to do at Wrestlemania while AJ can move on to a feud he might actually lose.

Post match Jericho does the false heel turn into the handshake.

Kickoff recap.

We look back at New Day dancing a lot on Smackdown.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge Peep Show (as hosted by Edge and Christian of course) with special guests the New Day. Edge plugs their new show (Christian: “Watch it. It’s awesome.”) but asks if we can be serious for a minute (Edge: “Lance Storm just got real mad.”) because it’s really nice to be here. This is where the first tag team ladder match took place and it’s where they received their very first standing ovation…..and here’s New Day.

They immediately ask who (WHO WHO WHO) cares about what Edge and Christian did back in the day. It’s time to be out with the old and in with the new, the New Day that is of course. Christian wants to talk about New Day’s history, which started with the power of positivity, which was brutal and lead to indifference. Edge: “I’ve never seen so much chocolate act so vanilla.” Then something happened even faster than Kofi dropped his fake Jamaican accent. Edge: “It’s like if we had a threesome with his Beyonce, you would be our love child.”

New Day is accused of ripping on local sports teams before doing just that. There’s nothing wrong with an old classic. Kofi doesn’t like the idea that New Day is called Edge and Christian ripoffs before going into a rant about how lame the current tag team division really is. Apparently the League of Nations doesn’t think much of New Day (and apparently WWE doesn’t think much of the League as they can’t get onto a show with six matches). Woods says New Day has already cooked the deal and now the League of Nations is hot garbage. Edge: “I’m starting to like you guys.”

This brings out the League with Sheamus agreeing that New Day does look stupid. Woods says they can’t get into a battle of fisticuffs because it’s a day of rest and they’re leaving. Edge: “But King Barrett hasn’t gotten to stare at anyone menacingly yet!” Del Rio brings up making Edge retire five years ago, though Edge thinks he’s accomplished more than Alberto in those five years. The Canadians leave and it’s time for New Day to dance in the aisle as Edge and Christian do one more plug. There were some funny lines here but this was even more filler on a show full of it already.

Here are the Social Outcasts with something to say. Bo gives us some safety tips on the Road to Wrestlemania before Rose calls the team a group of beautiful Priuses. Bo: “Can I be a Volvo? They have great safety ratings.” They go on for a bit until it’s time for an impromptu match.

R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel

Axel grabs a headlock to start but it’s time for Truth to dance and gyrate. Curtis gets in a shot and we get a victory lap, only to have Goldust come out to support Truth. Goldust trips Axel but then throws Rose inside for no logical reason, allowing Axel to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:15.

Post match Truth walks away again, as he should after that stupid move.

We recap the main event, which was made basically on a whim by Stephanie, which really doesn’t leave HHH with an easy match for Wrestlemania. They’ve teased some issues between Reigns and Ambrose and both guys want to fight Lesnar again. Lesnar has stared at HHH, at least when the champion had the time to appear on a show with the belt.

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Winner gets the title shot at Wrestlemania so we get some Big Match Intros. Brock drives Ambrose into the corner before throwing Reigns with the first suplex. A second German suplex sends Reigns flying but Dean comes back in with a missile dropkick to stagger Brock. Dean tries a German suplex on Brock but gets a hard glare and a belly to belly for his efforts.

Ambrose gets dropped on his head and it’s back to Suplex City for Reigns. The fourth German sets up an F5 with Ambrose making the save. Lesnar chuckles at Dean, who slaps Brock in the face. That earns Dean a series of knees to the ribs and a German of his own. The fans, who seem to like Ambrose, want to see more suplexes. The F5 is broken up by a spear to give Reigns two but he Superman Punches Brock to the floor. Reigns dives into an F5, only to have Dean hit Lesnar low to make the save.

A DoubleBomb through the table (good looking one too) puts Brock through the table, leaving Reigns and Ambrose to have a fight for the title shot. Dean’s bulldog gets two and we get the BOO/YAY slugout. The Rebound Lariat drops Reigns and Brock is almost to his feet. He feels like a boss in a video game at this point. Reigns and Ambrose are smart enough to go after Brock and drive him into the barricade to keep him in trouble.

That means it’s time for a second table and a second DoubleBomb. This time they bury Brock underneath the pieces of the table but Reigns punches Dean in the jaw, drawing even more booing. Back in and Dean dives into a Superman Punch but the spear is blocked with a knee. Dirty Deeds gets a very close two and Dean POINTS TO THE SIGN.

Another Dirty Deeds is countered as Reigns lifts Dean to his shoulders…..and Brock comes back in to German suplex both of them at the same time. Brock is spent though and Reigns nails a spear, only to get caught in the Kimura. Dean finally comes in with a series of chair shots to Brock’s back, followed by some more to Reigns. Roman pops up with a spear to Ambrose for the pin and the title shot at 16:47.

Rating: B. Where’s the last five minutes of this? They were starting in on something with the chair and then Reigns just speared Dean for the win. Brock was treated better here and looked like a star but I’m still mostly over the German suplexes. At least the Wyatts didn’t interfere, which is pretty much what most people (certainly myself included) figured would happen. Good match but the ending was really sudden.

Reigns gets a lot of pyro until HHH comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show had good action and the wrestling was much better than I was expecting but sweet goodness it felt long. So much of this stuff felt like it was being packed in because they NEEDED a pay per view this month. If nothing else, hopefully this teaches WWE (HA!) that airing matches over and over on TV before the pay per view isn’t a good booking method. Watchable show and even good at times but I’m never going to want to watch this again.

Results

Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks b. Naomi/Tamina – Bank Statement to Tamina

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Ryback/Big Show/Kane b. Wyatt Family – Shell Shock to Harper

Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho – Calf Crusher

Roman Reigns b. Brock Lesnar and Dean Ambrose – Spear to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s that time again and I’m really not sure if this show is going to be any more interesting than last year’s or not. They’re making no secret out of the fact that this is a one match card which is only there as a stop before we get to Wrestlemania. However, the main event here should be awesome and more than enough to carry this thing. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match is 2/3 falls for reasons that I can’t fathom. You would think that this would be perfect for AJ vs. Jericho but instead we’re getting it on a match that we’ve seen four or five times already. I mean, it should be entertaining, but at the same time I have little reason to want to see Kalisto trade falls with Alberto before hitting a big Salida Del Sol for the win. This is a good example of a match that should have been on Raw or a big Smackdown but instead we’re getting it here, thankfully on the pre-show. I don’t have a ton of interest here but at least it should be entertaining.

We’ll start with the token six man tag (not a bad thing) and probably the easiest match to pick. There’s no reason to assume that the Wyatts don’t win here as they’re probably about to head to Wrestlemania for something against Brock so Bray can lose all over again. Since Big Show and Kane are there and expendable, you can almost guarantee that Ryback takes the fall here and probably most of the beating during the match. I mean, it just makes sense right?

There’s no reason the Divas tag should be up for debate. It’s pretty clear that this is all about putting Becky and Sasha over before they head to the triple threat (at least) at Wrestlemania. The idea that they’ll implode before the end of the match has been presented well enough but there’s no way that Tamina and Naomi go over here. It should be entertaining at least though and the makeshift team’s charisma will be enough to carry this.

Charlotte retains the Divas Championship over Brie Bella. Why? It’s Brie Bella. Even the powers of Daniel Bryan’s retirement can’t carry her that far.

In what should be another obvious title defense, Kevin Owens will retain the Intercontinental Title over Dolph Ziggler. As Ziggler has said, these two have fought well over a dozen times and Ziggler has won like two of them. Why that should make me want to see a title match between the two of them isn’t clear but hopefully this sets up something better for Owens than a big multi-man ladder match for the title at Wrestlemania. Ziggler has no reason to go anywhere other than right where he is, which should be losing to a Pop Up Powerbomb here.

Maybe Owens can fight AJ Styles, who really should win his third match against Jericho. It’s one of those matches that shouldn’t have any doubt but there’s a glimmer of hope because Jericho is capable of making you think an upset could happen. There’s no reason to believe that AJ is going to lose and there’s no reason that he should. Jericho exists to put young, talented guys, like AJ, over. That’s all we’re getting here, nicely wrapped up in a good match.

That leaves us with the main event and……Reigns is going to pin Ambrose. I know a lot of people would like to see something else but I really can’t imagine that this is anything but the Wyatts preventing Lesnar from getting the fall and then Reigns pinning Ambrose just like he did at Survivor Series. Ambrose was only added to this for the sake of taking the fall because you know Brock isn’t going to. That leaves us with Reigns vs. HHH at Wrestlemania and roughly 80,000 people booing Reigns while WWE brags about the other 20,000 cheering. The match should rock though and that’s almost just as important here.

Overall Fastlane is………well it’s Fastlane. It’s a show that really doesn’t need to exist and the name isn’t doing it any favors as they’re advertising it as a stop on the way to Wrestlemania. It’s not a great card here as most of the matches are really predictable, though that’s not always the worst thing in the world. The pre-show interview (because just having a match on that thing isn’t enough) should be fun and I can think of worse ways to spend a Sunday night. Not many but at least some.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6