Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This show was almost universally the Show of the Year for 2013 and I’ve been really interested in seeing how it holds up. There’s a double main event with Cena vs. Bryan for the World Title and Lesnar vs. Punk in Punk’s attempt to get revenge on Lesnar’s manager Paul Heyman for screwing him over back in July. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is making a rare defense here after Rob won a battle royal or something. Feeling out process to start with Dean saying bring it on. They trade hammerlocks until Rob nails a running shoulder and a kick to the jaw. Rob hammers away in the corner but runs into a boot to give Dean control. A neckbreaker gives Ambrose a two count and the fans are split on who they like best.

Dean hits the dropkick against the ropes and puts on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long though and Rob comes back with a quick moonsault, only to walk into a clothesline for two. The bulldog driver is broken up by some more kicks to the face but Rollins and Reigns come out to break up the Five Star. This brings out Mark Henry and Big Show to even things up as we take a break.

Back with Dean dropping an elbow for two and putting on a cross face chicken wing of all things. Rob is sent outside and the four seconds have a standoff. Dean goes out to get Rob and winds up getting caught by the spinning kick to the back for two. A spinning legdrop gets the same for Van Dam but he walks into a spinebuster. Dean misses a middle rope elbow but a Shield distraction lets him get two off a rollup. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Reigns spears Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the ending didn’t work. What was the point of having Big Show and Henry out there if they’re just going to have Reigns come in with no resistance for a DQ? It really is amazing how far Van Dam has fallen in the last year as I wouldn’t expect him to have this kind of a match today if his life depended on it.

Miz, the host of the show, welcomes us to the evening and runs down the big matches. He would be kind of perfect for this role today too. Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off….and that’s it.

The opening video focuses o how awesome Los Angeles is as well as the double main events. The overblown voiceover really works.

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match but you win by pin or submission. It’s also Bray’s in ring debut. Kane hammers away in the corner to start and we get the old school idea of the flames going up whenever anyone hits the mat. Harper and Rowan keep getting closer to the ring but have to back away from the flames. Bray comes back with headbutts but can’t get Kane up for a suplex.

Kane gets sent into the corner for a running splash followed by the cross body to put him down. A bunch of right hands have Kane in more trouble but he comes back with a running clothesline in the corner. There’s the side slam to send the flames up even more, preventing the Family from sending Bray a kendo stick. Rowan tries a fire extinguisher but the flames don’t go out. Kane hits a pair of chokeslams and calls for a tombstone, only to have Rowan and Harper cover the flames and come to beat Kane down. The yet to be named Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was really stupid. Bray looks like a joke in his first match (though he would have FAR better performances in the future) and the flames are more of an annoyance than the focus of the match. The Family coming in didn’t work and makes the whole thing look ridiculous.

Post match Bray sits in his chair while the Family crushes Kane’s head with the steps. They carry Kane away which never went anywhere.

The expert panel (Booker T., Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero) chat about what we just saw and make some main event predictions.

Earlier tonight Paul Heyman compared Punk vs. Lesnar to David vs. Goliath. He sees the battles ending a bit differently. Tonight’s match is now no DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow screwed over his friend Cody to become Mr. Money in the Bank and Rhodes is ticked off. On the way to the ring, Damien talks about famous teams and says there has always been a leader and a sidekick. Cody has recently shaved off his mustache and Cole tells us we can find out why he has done so on Friday on Youtube. Seriously.

Sandow charges at him to start and hammers away in the corner but Cody comes back with a backdrop to take over. The release gordbuster gets two for Cody but Damien hammers away on him in the corner and cranks on the arms. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and we hit an old school Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter) to Cody.

That goes nowhere either as Rhodes fights up and hits a MuscleBuster of all things for two. A springboard missile dropkick sets up the Disaster Kick but Sandow comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Cody nails a second attempt at the Disaster Kick for two but Cody misses a charge into the post. Again it doesn’t seem to matter as Cross Rhodes gets the pin on Sandow at 6:40.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Smackdown and really doesn’t mean anything. The idea was for Cody to eventually take the briefcase from Sandow but they dropped the whole idea and hooked Cody up with Goldust, which wound up being better for everyone involved. It didn’t last long but at least it was an idea. Sandow has fallen through the floor in a year and Cody is a completely different character.

Video on Christian’s career.

World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Another match where both guys have completely changed course in a year. Christian is challenging after winning a triple threat a few weeks back. We’re ready to go after some big match intros and some gawking at Lillian in a gray dress. They lock up and head into the corner to start with the champion grabbing a headlock. Del Rio gets him to chase him around the ring but gets his throat snapped across the top rope.

Alberto breaks up a top rope hurricanrana and ties Christian in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. Back to the floor with Christian being sent into the barricade to start the arm work. A release flapjack and a kick to the head allows Del Rio to wrap the arm around the ropes. Christian sends him back outside and hits a big plancha to take the champion down, followed by a missile dropkick back inside.

The Canadian hammers away in the corner, ducks the running enziguri, and gets two off a top rope cross body. The Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber for two as Alberto is starting to get frustrated. There’s a jumping back elbow to the jaw from Christian but Del Rio counters a sunset flip out of the corner with a right hand.

Instead a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Christian and Del Rio is in trouble. It’s not enough trouble for him to get speared though as Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for a sweet counter. The low superkick gets two more for Alberto. He tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Christian finally hits the spear but injures his bad shoulder, setting up the cross armbreaker to retain Del Rio’s title at 12:28.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys going back and forth until the logical and thought out ending. I love it when you have an old injury coming back from earlier in the match to tie into the ending, even though it’s not something you see often enough. It’s also nice to see a high level guy tapping out to a heel submission, which you see even less often.

Del Rio says he’s the Latino representative.

WWE loves the National Guard.

Video on Axxess from earlier today. Maria Menunos had a match and talks to Miz about how awesome that was. Fandango and Summer Rae interrupt with some more dancing, triggering a dance from Maria and Miz.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

This is the Total Divas match. You can add Natalya to the list of people who have fallen through the floor in a year. She has the Funkadactyls with her while Brie has Nikki and Eva Marie. I’m not sure who has the better backup here. Feeling out process to start with both girls doing their best choreographed spots. Brie slaps her in the face but has to head to the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter attempt.

Natalya is sent to the floor and caught with a baseball slide to the back as a JBL chant starts up. Now it’s a Michael Cole chant, followed by the required Jerry version. Brie drops a leg and cranks on a chinlock as the fans want tables. Natalya fights up and puts on a quick Sharpshooter but Brie sends her into the corner. The other Divas get into it on the floor and we hit another chinlock from Brie. Back up and a sunset flip is countered into a Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 4:19.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. It doesn’t hold up, the fans don’t care, and the whole thing is a waste of time. The girls didn’t even look all that great here as most of their outfits looked like they belonged in the 1950s. The fact that Total Divas didn’t get the Divas Title off of AJ continues to astound me.

Ryback harassed a catering guy earlier in the day.

We recap Lesnar vs. Punk. The idea is simple: both guys are Paul Heyman Guys, but then Punk started listening to the fans and asked Heyman to stop coming out for his matches. Heyman turned on him and cost Punk Money in the Bank, so Punk swore revenge. Brock Lesnar returned and laid out Punk, with Heyman eventually revealing that he asked Brock to come back and destroy Punk, despite swearing he didn’t.

Punk is out for revenge but has to go through Lesnar to get there. The title for the match was perfect: The Best vs. The Beast. I love the story behind this: yeah it’s about revenge, but it won’t be settled in a debate or by lawyers or something stupid like that. Instead, it’s going to be scheduled in a professional wrestling match, like every feud should be.

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

No DQ. Punk charges right at him but gets driven into the corner. Forearms to Brock’s head have no effect and he drives shoulders into the ribs. Punk tries some knees to the ribs but Brock literally tosses him across the ring. Brock stomps him down in the corner but Punk comes back with a hard knee to the jaw and a second one to send him out to the floor. A big suicide dive has the Beast down and Heyman is starting to freak out.

Punk gets some steps but Brock just rams them back into his face to take over again. He throws Punk onto his should but gets posted instead, allowing Punk to dive off the apron to drop Brock again. A clothesline off the announcers’ table nails Lesnar but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman, allowing Brock to blindside him. Brock picks him up again and LAUNCHES him over the announcers’ table. Then he throws him over the other table and stomps on the top of the table on top of Punk.

Back in and Punk goes after the legs but Brock just levels him with a clothesline. We hit the bearhug until Punk scores with forearms, only to take a hard knee to the ribs. It’s almost total dominace by Brock so far. Back to the bearhug but Punk elbows out of it again. Some kicks to the chest have Brock in trouble but he counters a high cross body http://mentalhealthdrugs.com into a fall away slam.

We hit the chinlock but Punk bites his ear to escape. More kicks have Brock in trouble and a top rope knee sends him sprawling across the ring. There’s a pair of running knees in the corner but Brock counters the third one into the F5. Punk escapes again and nails a high kick followed by the Macho Elbow (more like a splash) for a VERY close two. The fans are totally into this.

The GTS is countered into another F5 attempt but Punk escapes and nails another high kick. He tries the GTS again but gets caught in the Kimura. Somehow he counters that into a cross armbreaker but Brock rolls over into a choke. Punk counters THAT into a triangle choke, only to have Brock lift him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t break the hold either and it’s back to the triangle, but Brock lifts him into another powerbomb, this time with a running start. AMAZING sequence there and the fans give it the THIS IS AWESOME chant that it deserves.

Brock busts out Three Amigos of all things for two. Punk is half dead in the ring so Brock heads outside and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Punk dives onto the chair, driving it into Lesnar in a huge crash. Now it’s Punk wearing out Brock with the chair as they head back inside. Brock takes the chair away, only to get hit low before he can destroy Punk. Punk nails the Cactus Jack chair drop from the top for two as Heyman is pacing back and forth.

Punk just starts beating Brock with the chair but Heyman gets on the apron for a distraction. Lesnar lifts him for the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman for the block. He slips off Lesnar’s back and hits the GTS for a white hot near fall with Heyman making the save. After a quick chase, Punk charges into the F5 but counters AGAIN into a DDT for another two.

There’s the Anaconda Vice and Lesnar is in trouble, drawing Heyman in with the chair….but Punk gets up and steps on it. There’s a right hand for Heyman and a Vice of his own, but Punk is wide open for a chair shot from Lesnar. A bunch more chair shots sets up an F5 on the chair to give Brock the pin on Punk’s dead body at 29:07.
Rating: A+. I said this was Match of the Year last year and a second viewing affirms that view. This was AMAZING with some great David vs. Goliath stuff, a white hot counter sequence, and then two guys just beating the tar out of each other for ten minutes to end the match. Heyman making the save made sense, but it makes Punk look like the superhero that everyone thought he was. Totally awesome match here and Lesnar looks like the monster that he’s supposed to.

Oh and one more thing: SCREW YOU HHH FOR WASTING BROCK FOR A YEAR FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. Seriously, a year of this lost for that “trilogy” nonsense with HHH winning the big match on the biggest stage before letting Brock get his win back in a totally forgotten cage match. Lucky us.

Punk gets the well deserved standing ovation.

A fan gets splashed by Mark Henry for Summerslam tickets. He gets to sit in front of the announcers’ table for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Two feuds combined into one. The guys start with Ziggler nailing a fast dropkick for two on Big E. Langston comes right back with a belly to belly suplex and a spinning Warrior Splash for two of his own before we hit the abdominal stretch. Dolph quickly escapes and scores with another dropkick before it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws her around but gets caught by a big kick to the face.

A back elbow gets two for Lee and she hooks a sleeper. AJ shouts a lot but gets caught with a shoulder block. Back to the guys and there are the ten elbow drops from Dolph. The Fameasser misses and Big E. hooks a tilt-a-while backbreaker for two. AJ takes out Kaitlyn with a Shining Wizard but Big E. hits the post. Kaitlyn spears AJ in half (I miss her selling the heck out of that move) as Big E. gets back up and runs over Dolph. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 5:46.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for this match as it was a glorified TV match that had to go after a thirty minute masterpiece. These four feuded for a long time and it was getting boring by this time. AJ would hold the Divas Title for a ridiculous eight more months and Kaitlyn doesn’t even have a job anymore. Again, it’s amazing how much a year has changed.

Miz gets cut off by Fandango and Summer again, finally causing Miz to knock him out.

The expert panel makes their World Title match picks.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. The idea here is simple: Bryan had been on a roll and Cena was allowed to pick his opponent for Summerslam. He summed it up in four words: “I select Daniel Bryan.” This was the start of Bryan being a B+ player as authority (not The Authority) figures started saying Bryan was just too small to be World Champion. HHH and Vince tried to turn him corporate but Bryan couldn’t bring himself to do it because it wasn’t who he was. The only person that seems to be supporting him is HHH, who is guest referee tonight.

At the same time they actually made it somewhat personal between Cena and Bryan as Daniel called Cena out for being a parody of a wrestler. Cena got very serious and said that he was a wrestler even if he wore bright t-shirts. He chose Bryan because he’s the best competition in the company right now and has earned the spot. Cena also has fluid the size of a baseball in his elbow at the moment and is going to be taking time off after the match.

WWE Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH is guest referee. Daniel wisely goes after the bad arm to start but gets taken down with a headlock. Back up and Cena isn’t sure what to make of Bryan and his technical abilities. John easily wins a test of strength but Bryan bridges off the mat. Cena jumps down on him but can’t break the bridge in a nice display of strength by the bearded one. A YES Lock attempt sends Cena out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena uses the bad arm for a headlock before they hit the mat for the old Flair bridge up into a backslide from Bryan for two. It’s Bryan in control now but Cena blocks the surfboard with pure power. Daniel is sent to the apron and knocked into the announcers’ table with a hard shoulder. Cena is wrestling as the heel here by default as the power guy.

Bryan pops up and whips Cena into the steps but Cena sends him in as well. Fans to Cena: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Back in and Cena hammers away to get the upper hand but lets Bryan get up. A sitout powerbomb gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. Bryan is quickly back up with right hands as Jerry reminds us that HHH is guest referee. He hasn’t meant anything yet.

Bryan backflips over Cena out of the corner and nails the running clothesline. Here come the YES Kicks but the big one misses, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The Shuffle gets two and Bryan nails the big kick to the head for the same. Bryan finally starts going after the arm by snapping it over his own shoulder and firing off kicks to the elbow. Cena tries a quick STF but Bryan mule kicks his way out. Now it’s Bryan putting Cena in the STF but he can’t crank on it as well.

Cena powers up but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Cena powers out of the third suplex and tries the AA, only to be reversed into the YES Lock. Bryan can’t quite get it on and Cena gets his head out of the grip to escape. That’s fine with Daniel who slaps on the guillotine choke. Again I had to hear Cole say HHH’s name to remember that he was the referee. Cena powers up again and drives Bryan into the buckle a few times before finally grabbing a rope for the break.

An AA connects out of nowhere for two and Cena is getting frustrated. He goes up top but Bryan breaks up the top rope Fameasser. A running dropkick has Cena reeling and Bryan superplexes him down, only to hook his feet on the ropes to stay up top. That’s kind of brilliant actually. The Swan Dive connects for two and Cena rolls outside. The FLYING GOAT is countered by a forearm to the face and the top rope Fameasser gets John another two count.

Cena goes up again but gets caught, only to try to slam Daniel down. Instead we get a TERRIFYING semi-botch as Cena almost piledrives him off the top. Thankfully Bryan’s neck is in one piece (for now) as Cena puts him in the STF. He pulls back too far though and Bryan slips out to apply the YES Lock. Cena is right next to the ropes for the break though and both guys are exhausted.

It’s Bryan up first with the running dropkicks but he tries one too many, allowing Cena to take his head off with a running clothesline. They slug it out again until both guys try flying shoulders and knock each other out again. Back up and they slap it out as the fans are even more into it now. Cena catches him charging and plants Bryan with a spinebuster. Allegedly Bryan countered with a DDT but it didn’t come off that well on camera.

It’s Daniel to his feet first and going up top, only to have Cena counter his high cross body into an AA. Daniel counters that into the small package for two, followed by a BIG kick to the head. He doesn’t cover, but instead debuts the running knee to the chest for the 100% clean pin over Cena (I believe the first since Rock at Wrestlemania) for the pin and the title at 31:07.

Rating: A+. Yep this worked too. This is a totally different style of main event match and it more than holds up a year later. There was a solid story in there of Bryan being as technical as he could be and Cena just muscling his way through it, only to have Bryan knee his head off for the pin. Excellent match, but somehow it’s the second best of the night and of the year.

Post match Cena is upset but hands Bryan the title and raises his hand with no violence.

Bryan celebrates for about three minutes….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Bryan is ready for him, but not ready for HHH to spin him around for a Pedigree.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is champion in 8 seconds.

The new heel forces pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This won Show of the Year and it’s easy to see why. The two main events are more than enough to make this awesome but you also have good stuff like Del Rio vs. Christian. Nothing was truly horrible here (the Divas match was just over four minutes so how much can it really hurt?) and two instant classics make this more than great and one of the best shows WWE ever put on.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original:
Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+
Redo: D

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C
Redo: D+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+
Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F
Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Overall Rating:

Original: A-
Redo: A

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

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Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25^th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.

Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.

Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.

Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.

Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.

Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.

We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.

Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.

Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!

Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.

We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.

We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.

Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 29 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.

Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.

There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Lesnar F5’d Vince and injured him, making HHH come back as The Cerebral Assassin to face Lesnar. Brock responded by breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm as well. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.

Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.

Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

It’s still boring.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.

Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!

The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?

The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.

A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.

Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.

Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.

Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.

Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.

We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.

Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.

Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.

Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.

Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.

Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.

Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.

Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.

Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.

BUY TWIX!

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.

Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.

Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.

Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.

Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.

Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.

Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.

Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.

Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.

Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.

Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.

The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.

Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.

Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.

Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.

Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.

They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.

Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.

Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.

Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Original: C

Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B+

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: A-

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: B+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

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Lucha Underground
Date: March 25, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

This is a big night for the company as we have two title matches, including one for the AAA World Title as Alberto El Patron defends against former champion El Texano in a bullrope match. Other than that we have the Lucha Underground Title on the line with Prince Puma defending against Cage in a street fight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the two title feuds.

The announcers preview the title matches.

Angelico vs. Son of Havoc

Ivelisse gets the big reaction and can you really blame the crowd? Havoc goes right after Angelico to start and knocks him to the floor. He loads up a dive but bails out when Angelico ducks and just pounds him in the back. Back in and the very tall Angelico gets clotheslined for two before a Curb Stomp gets two for Havoc. A kick to the head from the mat drops Havoc for two as the fans sound like they’re cheering for Shaggy.

Havoc is sent to the floor for a BIG dive to really wake the fans up. You know, because they were so out of it before. Back in again and Havoc kicks him in the face, setting up a standing Shooting Star press for two. A backbreaker gets the same and Ivelisse is livid. She grabs him by the beard (Striker: “She’s got him by the short hairs!” Vampiro: “You said short hairs!”) but Havoc catches Angelico with a kick to the head.

A springboard double stomp to the back and a standing moonsault get two for Havoc before he counters a running Razor’s Edge bomb into the corner with a hurricanrana. SWEET counter. They head up top with Angelico getting crotched down, but Havoc wants a mic instead of diving on him. He blames Ivelisse for making him lose his matches and officially dumps her. Somehow Angelico can’t get out of the way of the Shooting Star to give Havoc the pin.

Rating: C+. I get the idea here, but who in the world is going to cheer Son of Havoc over Ivelisse? Yeah she yells a lot, but a woman that looks like that with her in ring abilities isn’t going to get booed for long. This would have been better if the roles were reversed, but I’ll give the announcers credit for treating her like she was a horrible person that needed to be gone.

Ivelisse slaps Angelico to let off some steam.

Cueto has signed former TNA wrestler Hernandez. He’ll be in the front row for the main event.

AAA Mega Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Texano

That would be the World Title and Alberto is defending. This is also a bullrope match with pins and submissions instead of touching the ropes. Texano starts choking in the corner and bites Patron’s face. A backdrop sends Texano to the apron though and Alberto dives through the ropes to take him down. The champ is holding his leg but seems to be fine. Vampiro wants to see Texano hit him in the face with a cowbell and that’s exactly what he gets early on.

We get a chair brought in and Texano CRACKS Alberto over the back. That sounded great. The chair is wedged in between the top and middle rope and you can already see Texano’s head going into it later on. A DDT plants El Patron but he nails Texano with the bell to take over again. Some clotheslines set up a Backstabber for no cover on Texano. It’s time for a whipping with the bell hitting the mat to make it look far worse than it really was. A quick Codebreaker gets two for Texano but he takes too long going up and gets superplexed for two.

The fans seem to be behind Texano but Alberto gets them back on his side by loading up the armbreaker, only to get sent into the chair in the corner. Wow it’s different in lucha libre. That goes nowhere for Texano as Alberto kicks him in the head for an EL PATRON chant. We get a table set up in the ring but Texano powerbombs Alberto through it for a very close two. Texano puts him on the ropes again but gets pulled down into the armbreaker to retain the title.

Rating: B. I had a good time with this and the ending was a great touch as so often you would see the hold broken because of the ropes. Thankfully they didn’t do something so nonsensical in a No DQ match. I always appreciate a smart move like that and it helped a lot here. Alberto as a face is golden and makes me wonder why WWE abandoned the idea after like six months.

Hernandez comes up to Puma in the back and says he’s a fan. Konnan gives Puma a pep talk.

Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Cage

Cage is challenging and this is a street fight. There’s no actual title belt after Cage ripped it to pieces a few weeks back. Before the match, Cueto comes out with a huge new title belt which looks way better than the toy they had at first. Hernandez is in the front row as well. Puma dropkicks Cage to start but gets backdropped to the apron for a hard clothesline to knock him to the floor.

Cage easily counters a hurricanrana off the apron and powerbombs the champ into the post as Vampiro talks about how the name of the street fight doesn’t change much. Puma superkicks him to stop a chair shot before hitting something like a Van Daminator to take over. We get a trashcan lid brought in (Vampiro: “It’s one of those things just laying around!”) to nail Cage several times before a Shooting Star onto the lid onto Cage keeps both guys down.

It’s table time but Puma takes too long, allowing Cage to blast him in the head with the lid. Back in and a rack into a double knee backbreaker gets two on the champ and the fans are split. Cage gets kicked off the apron and eats a running hurricanrana for a big reaction. It’s back to the table now with Puma hitting a SWEET springboard 450 to drive Cage through. Unfortunately Cage is dead weight now so Puma takes forever to get him inside for two.

Cage pops up and shoves Puma to the floor to break up the 630 (I guess he’s not a flippy fan). He puts Puma’s head through a chair and drives it into the post before sending Konnan into the barricade for some real heat. Without checking on his mentor, Puma takes him back inside for a kick to the head and a chair shot for two.

The 630 misses and Cage gets two off a discus lariat. Weapon X plants Puma but Cage hammers away instead of covering like the rookie schmuck he is. A double powerbomb, with the second onto a trashcan, looks to end him but Cage screws up AGAIN by calling out Hernandez. The distraction lets Konnan get in a metal cane shot, setting up the 630 for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good but went on a bit too long. Also, Cage comes off like an idiot killing machine, which makes sense but is still kind of annoying. I’m not wild on Hernandez but he’s a name people have heard of and the history fits with Konnan. Puma needed a win like this ala Shawn vs. Diesel in 1996 so it’s hard to find a major complaint other than the length.

Overall Rating: B+. This was another good show for the company as they keep things going at a fast pace. I like that the Lucha Underground Title main evented this show as it really should be the more important title, even though the AAA belt means way more. It’s a good show from a good promotion with two hard hitting matches and Ivelisse. What else do you need?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.

Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.

We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.

Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.

Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.

He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.

Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.

We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.

Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?

Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.

Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.

Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.

Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.

A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.

HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.

Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: March 4, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Things are starting to get interesting around here again with the rises of Texano and Alberto to the main event scene, in addition to Cage fighting for the Lucha Underground Title. The big story tonight though is Big Ryck vs. Sexy Star for the right to face the Crew later. This should be interesting as they could either do something unexpected or go the logical path by having Ryck end her with ease. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Alberto and Texano bringing their feud from AAA to Lucha Underground. We also see clips of Mil Katrina leaving Mil Muertes for Fenix and the Crew going after Ryck and Sexy Star. In other words, it’s a standard recap video for the main stories.

Alberto is in Cueto’s office and the boss (the boss, not El Patron) offers him Ricky Mandell tonight. That goes nowhere so Cueto offers Famous B. Alberto wants Texano but Cueto wants more time to promote it. Patron gets in his face and demands Texano with the boss finally giving in. He doesn’t have much of a backbone most of the time.

Mil Muertes vs. Fenix

Muertes goes to meet him in the aisle but Fenix dives into a hurricanrana to take over. A big superkick sends Mil into the ring and a top rope legdrop gets two. That’s enough selling for Muertes as he just erupts with right hands followed by a great looking TKO (always loved that move) for two.

We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Catrina comes down the steps. Fenix comes back with a kick to the ribs and another to the leg, setting up a big corkscrew dive to the floor. Back in and Fenix slingshots through the ropes into a rolling cutter for two, only to go up top and get caught with a running Codebreaker of all things. The downward spiral is enough to pin Fenix.

Rating: C+. Fenix gets better every time I see him and Muertes is really good as a power guy. This is a pretty solid rivalry and it has the easy story of Catrina. Good stuff here and one of the better matches I’ve seen in a while on this show. That being said, I still want to impale Matt Striker on a thousand kendo sticks. His stupid nicknames for everything drive me insane.

Post match Catrina gets on the apron but won’t do the (hashtag according to that nitwit Striker) Lick of Death. Muertes grabs her by the throat so she drops the stone (some thing that means something to Muertes or whatever), only to have Fenix pick it up and lay Muertes out. Catrina gives Mil the Lick and kisses Fenix. Naturally the announcers act like they’re in 5^th grade and freak out.

We get a cool video on Konnan wanting revenge while standing in the ring. Nothing is said but the atmosphere is really cool. These videos are a highlight for the company as the production looks great.

Ivelisse tells Cueto that she should be #1 contender but Cueto says win it again, but with Son of Havoc as guest referee. That’s kind of an odd stipulation.

Alberto tells Muertes to focus on Cage and to listen to Konnan. Keep that title warm though because he’s coming for it.

Big Ryck vs. Sexy Star

Winner gets a three on one match with the Crew at some point in the future. Star goes after him and there’s no effect. Ryck misses a charge though and a high cross body gets two. Star slaps him in the face so Ryck loads up the Rock Bottom, but lays her down softly and just holds the shoulders for the pin.

The Crew runs in for the beatdown and Star gets attacked as well. They start going after Ryck’s eye but he explodes out of the corner and cleans house, sending the Crew running. Ryck as a face is interesting and could go somewhere if they just let him break people.

We get a really good video on Alberto, talking about his heritage in the business and how he’s trying to live up to his father’s success. He conquered America but their disrespect made him leave. That leave one dream: winning the AAA World Title, which he defeated Texano for back in December.

Alberto El Patron vs. Texano

Feeling out process to start with Texano nailing a shoulder and spitting on Alberto. El Patron knocks him out to the floor and Texano takes a breather. Back in and Alberto grabs a hurricanrana followed by the corner enziguri as the fans are way into him. I can’t blame them as he’s a really good face most of the time.

Alberto telegraphs a backdrop worse than anyone I’ve ever seen and gets kicked in the face, only to send Texano to the floor for a big suicide dive. That’s fine with Texano as he DDT’s Alberto on the floor. We hit the chinlock (bad one too) for a bit before Texano dropkicks him out of the air for two. Alberto catches him on top with a superplex and both guys are down. They slug it out with Alberto taking over (like any good face should) and nailing a Backstabber for two.

The low superkick misses and Texano grabs a spinebuster. Texano puts him in a reverse Tree of Woe for some kicks to the back of the head, only to tear off a buckle pad to distract the referee so Texano can get in some bullrope shots. Alberto fights out of a superplex attempt and ties Texano in the ropes for a top rope double stomp. The armbreaker is countered into a Batista Bomb for two but Texano eats the low superkick for two. Texano grabs the bullrope (Striker: “The sandpaper snake!” Oh shut up already.), only to have Alberto take it away and whip the fire out of Texano for the DQ.

Rating: B. Really solid main event style match here with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Alberto looks like a star and I like Texano more every time I see him in the ring. I like that they’re tying AAA into Lucha Underground as it helps this company and gives AAA a foot in the American door, which is nothing but good. Nice main event this week.

Cueto makes King Cuerno vs. Mundo in a cage for next week. Cool.

Overall Rating: B. This show is rapidly joining NXT as the best TV show in wrestling today. The wrestling is good, the stories make sense, everything seems to be going well and I want to see where things go. Good show this week and Alberto is the kind of big star this company needs to look more legit. That cage match sounds good too so there’s a reason to come back, which is the most important thing a show can do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: February 18, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

The company has changed in a hurry as the major story has gone from Puma and Mundo having individual feuds against Cage to Alberto vs. Texano, which has the potential to be something entertaining. Other than that we might be ready to find out who is Pentagon’s boss, which could be almost anyone. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of last week’s show, including Ryck’s awesome threats to the Crew.

Mil Muertes vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

No Catrina. This is over the debt that Muertes claims Chavo owes him after saving Blue Demon Jr. a few months back. Mil is sent outside but he quickly catches Chavo diving off the apron and drives him back first into the post. A dive takes Mil down again before Chavo takes him back inside to work on the knee. When did Guerrero turn face? He’s certainly wrestling like one here after caving in Sexy Star’s head with a chair. Vampiro: “Yeah this is a good idea. Tick off DEATH.”

Striker continues to be a step behind as he says Chavo seems to be focusing on the left leg. Given that it’s all he’s doing, I wouldn’t think anything SEEMS to be true here. Back up and Muertes punches Chavo in the face, only to be sent right back to the floor. Catrina slowly walks towards the ring as Muertes plants Chavo with an electric chair.

They’re playing up the idea that Mil isn’t himself without Catrina but he’s just naturally strong enough to muscle Chavo around. A backdrop sends Guerrero outside but Mil stops to look at Catrina, who has a rock which distracts him even more. Chavo comes in with a chair to the back for the DQ but Muertes doesn’t even move.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and Muertes continues to be one of the more interesting characters. They’re really doing a good job of making him more of a tweener and Catrina makes things interesting as well. Granted she also makes them better looking but that could be because we can actually see her face.

Muertes gives Chavo a flatliner on the chair but Catrina won’t give Chavo the lick. Striker: “Defiance from the leather laden licker!” Just…..go away Striker. Muertes grabs her by the hair and then the throat but Fenix comes in to make the save. Catrina kisses Fenix and leaves with him as Striker continues to make the commentary more complicated than it should be.

Cueto praises the Crew for their actions and puts them in the main event tonight. If they want to stay there though, they need to prove that they can be violent like they were to Big Ryck all the time. Their opponents tonight: Pimpinela Escarlata, Mascarita Sagrada and Sexy Star in an anything goes six person tag. Cueto wants all three of them gone.

Son of Havoc and Ivelisse are in the ring and Ivelisse yells at him for losing all the time, meaning she’ll be fighting Angelico instead of Havoc.

Ivelisse vs. Angelico

Angelico checks some kicks to start but the camera jumps to Son of Havoc. So you would rather see a mask than a good looking woman? Good to know. A forearm is easily blocked and Angelico pins down both of her arms. He dips her back, much to Havoc’s annoyance, before allowing Ivelisse to kick him in the chest. Ivelisse goes to the middle rope and kicks Angelico in the face, finally ticking him off. Angelico just throws her into the air for a crash, prompting some breast implant jokes from Striker. Havoc finally kicks Angelico in the head, allowing Ivelisse to roll him up for a fast pin.

Post match Angelico hits on Ivelisse and shoves Havoc to the floor.

We get a sitdown interview with Texano, where he (in Spanish), talks about dominating AAA for two years (thankfully complete with clips) and is here to dominate Alberto. Vampiro doesn’t get a handshake and Texano looks like a star.

Texano vs. Super Fly

Texano speeds around the ring and catches Super Fly in the corner for some chops. A Rough Ryder gets two for Texano and an AA into a backbreaker on the knee, straight into a neckbreaker for the pin. Total “I’m here and awesome” squash.

Cue Alberto for the brawl and this time it’s Texano getting whipped with the bullrope. Referees quickly break it up but Striker suggests that the AAA World Title could be defending in Lucha Underground. That would indeed be a coup.

Cage comes into Cueto’s office and demands to be named Lucha Underground Champion. Instead he gets Puma in a non-title match next week. He also wants a good looking title belt when he wins it. Chavo Guerrero comes in and quits, but is told the doors are always open. Cueto really doesn’t seem to care, but says the gods aren’t going to be pleased.

The mystery woman finds whatever she’s looking for and says as a child, she wanted to kill it with her bare hands. Ok then.

The Crew vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Mascarita Sagrada/Sexy Star

Anything goes. It’s a brawl to start with the Crew of course dominating and Escarlata starting against Castro. Some kendo stick shots have Pimpinela in early trouble and STOP CALLING HIM PIMPY! That sounds so stupid every time and doesn’t make me hate this character any less. Cisco kicks Escarlata out to the floor and nails Sagrada with a boot to the face.

Sagrada comes back with a top rope hurricanrana to take over before hitting a big dive to the floor. That just earns him another kick to the face before Castro sends him into the apron. Off to Castro vs. Star with the blonde taking a kick to the back of the head. Apparently Escarlata has been taken to the back, leaving Sagrada to get triple teamed. A curb stomp (not the running kind) onto a chair knocks the mini out cold and he’s taken out as well.

Since this is wrestling, Star is easily able to fight all of them off, including a low blow to Cisco. A tornado DDT to the floor plants Bael but Castro finally catches her with a running boot to the face. Star does the same to him before mostly botching a swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker. Cisco is back in and slams her down, only to get crotched on the top rope.

Her top rope hurricanrana eventually gets two but all three members of the Crew get back in for some destruction. Cue an eye patched Big Ryck though and things get serious in a hurry. Of course it’s just a distraction though, allowing Star to roll up Bael (with her feet under his shoulders) for the pin.

Rating: D. Blech. This was a big waste of time with the Crew getting beaten up WAY more than they should have and then losing on a fluke at the end. All three guys are still completely interchangeable and I was still having issues figuring out which one was which. Sexy Star deserves better than this and Escarlata still gets annoying in a hurry every time he’s out there.

Overall Rating: D+. They went with the B crew here and it really didn’t work for them. It was almost all about midcard stuff and that doesn’t make for a good show in this company. They have the kind of stars that can put on a good effort, but I need more Texano vs. Alberto and a lot less freakshow tag. This was a misstep for them, but the fact that it wasn’t their top lineup takes away a lot of the sting. We’ll call this one an aberration and move on.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: February 11, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

We’re in a new era for Lucha Underground as Alberto El Patron (Del Rio) debuted to close out last week’s show. I know Mundo is a fairly big name still, but Del Rio was World Champion in WWE just a few years back. At the end of the day, Del Rio is a far bigger star than Mundo and one of the biggest stars of recent years, meaning this company has by far its biggest signing. Let’s get to it.

Alberto is in Cueto’s office to start with the boss (as in the boss, not El Patron) admiring Alberto’s style. El Patron is willing to work here but there’s something he needs to get off his chest first. He doesn’t actually ask anything but says the next time he’s in this office, it will be for blood.

El Patron will have an open mic later tonight.

Fenix vs. Argenis

The fans are entirely behind Fenix but Argenis throws him into the air for what looked like a low blow. It’s nice to have them establish who the heel is right off the bat. A big dive through the ropes takes Fenix down again as Striker gives us a brief history of AAA. Fenix rises up and runs inside for that middle rope flip dive of his. Back in and Argenis superkicks him out of the air before planting him with something like a flapjack for two. A middle rope dropkick puts Argenis down but there’s no cover.

Instead Catrina comes out as Fenix hits something like Roman Reigns’ apron kick. Argenis shrugs it off and hits a missile dropkick and standing moonsault for two of his own. They head outside for a corkscrew plancha from Fenix, which Striker thinks turned Catrina on. Vampiro: “I know I’m turned on.” Back in again and Fenix crotches himself on a charge, setting up a powerbomb for two. The fans chant Lucha Fenix (awesome name actually. Ok so maybe it’s LUCHA LIBRE but mine sounds better) as he reverses a tombstone into a fire driver (sitout tombstone) for the pin.

Rating: C. If you can accept that there will be less selling here than in an air conditioning store at the North Pole, you should be able to have some fun with these matches. Fenix is a fun guy to watch and Argenis is firmly in that second level of guys around here who can show up and have a decent match with almost no chance of winning. Seeing Catrina is never a bad thing either.

Catrina crawls inside and gets on top of Argenis, like she does to Muertes’ fallen opponents.

After a break, Catrina is in the back, talking to Muertes about how the power of 1000 deaths was too much for him. He lifts her up by the throat and says he needed nothing. Muertes storms off and runs into Chavo Guerrero. Chavo’s debt is due next week.

Big Ryck prays about killing the Crenshaw Crew, saying God won’t want to stop him after what they put him through. They were three Judases and their blood will be on his hands when he goes Old Testament on them. This was AWESOME and by far the best thing he’s ever done.

House band.

Son of Havoc vs. Johnny Mundo

I still want to know who Havoc is. Not the guy under the mask, but the father of the guy we’re watching. I wonder if he’s any relation to Halloween. He dedicates the upcoming win to Ivelisse, pretty much guaranteeing his loss. The fans are actually split here and Mundo takes over with a nice leg sweep, drawing the required Karate Kid line. Havoc slows things down before hitting a handspring elbow in the corner, only to miss a charge and fall to the floor. Johnny is right there waiting with a dive and the fans fire up again.

Ivelisse saves Havoc from being rammed into the post. Striker: “Everyone knows, happy life, happy life.” No that’s not a typo. Back in and Havoc misses another dive, possibly banging up his knee. Ivelisse trips Mundo up again though and Havoc takes over for the third time in less than three minutes. A backsplash gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold.

Back up and Havoc gets pulled out of the corner, only to backflip onto his feet and hammer away at Mundo. Johnny nails him in the face to take over again as the fans think this is awesome. Given that they chant this every match, the effect is a bit weaker than they’re hoping for.

The End of the World has to be aborted and Havoc nails a springboard double stomp to the back, followed by a standing moonsault for two. Havoc hits a nice bicycle kick and a standing shooting start gets another two count. Mundo pops back up though and kicks Havoc on the top but can’t hook a top rope hurricanrana. Havoc takes WAY too long setting something up and his shooting star hits knees. The End of the World gives Mundo the pin.

Rating: B-. This was the same idea as the first match but with some selling thrown in for good measure. It also helps that Mundo is better in the ring and we had Ivelisse freaking out at ringside. Havoc getting closer and closer every time was a nice story and it made for a good match the whole way through.

Cuerno hits the ring to lay out Mundo.

Ricky Mandell vs. Pentagon Jr.

Vampiro thinks it’s Rick Martel. I’m digging this evil Pentagon character but I don’t see why he needs a mentor character to make it work. A backbreaker drops Mandell to start and some chops set up a double stomps for no cover. Ricky scores with a headscissors but spins into a dropkick to the chest. Now it’s time for the arm but first, Pentagon throws him up in a torture rack and drive Ricky stomach first into the buckle. The armbar makes Ricky tap and Pentagon snaps another arm.

Rating: D+. Total squash here but I’m still getting into this guy. He can break arms of low level guys for weeks until they give him a major story. I’m still curious about who this master is but it could range from brilliant to horrible and I can’t imagine anything in between. Nice squash here as we’re still early in this story.

Here’s Alberto, who is announced as the AAA World Champion for the first time on this show. He gets a HUGE reaction and goes into the crowd to be with the fans. That’s quite the moment and a great way to have him debut. Alberto doesn’t have to impress anyone because these people are all his family.

We get the brief version of his family history before he talks about being an icon to the Mexican people in the United States. Then the WWE stabbed him in the back so he’s here to work where everyone is equal. He promises to get the job done but El Texano, the man Alberto beat for the AAA Title, runs in and beats him down with the bullrope. I’ve liked what I’ve seen from Texano so far so this could be a good thing. Alberto is laid out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very important show for the company and a big step forward. They’re spent several months laying an awesome groundwork for the company, but they need some star power to bring in the viewers. Mundo is the biggest star in the promotion, but he was an Intercontinental Champion about five years ago. Alberto was WWE Champion less than two years ago and a much bigger star overall. Bringing him aboard makes Lucha Underground look more legitimate and the fans might be more willing to check it out now.

The rest of the show was its usual goodness with some exciting (though not necessarily high quality) wrestling and solid storyline development. I’m really hoping the Alberto move helps them out as they could use some more traction to guarantee the survival of the promotion. Good show here but it’s more important than high quality.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Triplemania 22
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 21,000
Commentators: Hugo Savinovich, Vampiro

Well I recently butchered a Japanese show so why not a Mexican show too? I’ve seen a few shows from AAA before and I’ve liked it so far, but that might be because I can understand a bit of Spanish so I’m not completely lost. I’m really not sure what’s going on here but a good wrestling show should be able to tell stories without being able to understand every single thing. Let’s get to it.

HOKEY SMOKE THERE’S ENGLISH COMMENTARY! Oh I feel a lot better all of a sudden.

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show. I think he says the show is being broadcast in the US as well as Mexico. One more note: AAA uses the six sided ring ala TNA.

Opening video, which is just shots of a lot of the roster. There’s a good chance I’ll know a lot of these people from Lucha Underground.

With music from Rocky Balboa vs. Ivan Drago from Rocky IV playing in the background (I already like this show), an SUV pulls up. Out walks Mexican legend Dos Caras (two faces) and his son, Alberto Del Rio (Alberto El Patron here). This isn’t really a surprise as Alberto was in the montage of faces in the opening video.

The father and son come to the ring with Hugo introducing Alberto and listing off all of his WWE accomplishments. Alberto talks about returning home (with a name graphic for Sexy Star) and belonging to Mexico. Seven years ago he went to the United States to pursue a dream but now he has been humbled by God. He claims racism in WWE and says it doesn’t matter if you have money or not. Dos Caras taught him how to be a man and nothing can ever take away his pride. He’s so proud to be Mexican.

Cue Konnan and Los Perros Del Mal (heel stable, coming out to Eye of the Tiger, making them awesome) with Konnan running down Mexico and Alberto in particular. Perro Aguayo Jr. makes fun of WWE catchphrases and my goodness they need to turn up the commentary volume as it’s being badly drowned out. He calls Dos Caras an old man and shoves him down so the brawl is on. The Perros being chased off with ease as Vampiro brings up an interesting point: Alberto can’t officially wrestle for 90 days. Alberto challenges Aguayo to a fight and says Perro Sr. should have raised his son better. The surprises belong to Alberto.

Aero Star/Jennifer Blake/Mascarita Sagrada/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Mamba/Mini Abismo Negro/Sexy Star/Super Fly

The idea here is you have a masked man, a mini, an exotico (transvestite) and female wrestler with the idea being a strange combination tag match. This is the definition of a cultural difference but the matches can be fun. Star and Fly used to be teammates but have recently split. Sexy Star is half of the Mixed Tag Team Champions but the commentators call it the Women’s Title. Mamba recently beat Escarlata in a hair vs. hair match so there are even more stories going on.

The camera stays on a wide shot so it’s kind of hard to tell what’s going on. Super Fly accidentally kicks Sexy Star to the floor, allowing Aero to get a quick rollup for two. Fly is sent to the floor and the camera completely misses the dive. Off to the girls with Sexy taking Blake down by the hair but getting armdragged out of the corner and down to the floor. Negro, who is the mini but is taller than the top rope, gets caught in a spinning DDT from Blake, followed by a running seated senton from the apron to take Sexy down.

Off to the exoticos with Escarlata rolling around and walking the top rope into an armdrag to Mamba and a headscissors to Fly at the same time. The minis come in and Vampiro has to explain that usually there isn’t this big of a height differential. Sagrada climbs onto Negro’s shoulders and then the top of his head into a hurricanrana. Aero backdrops Fly to the floor and Sexy Germans Blake for no count. Blake gets two off something like a TKO but I can barely see what’s going on because of the stupid wide shot. Everything breaks down and the exoticos stop for some “comedy” with Escarlata getting two off a sunset flip.

Sexy and Blake trade rollups for two each before Aero hits a top rope Falling Star to the floor to take out Fly. Negro blocks a kiss from Escarlata so Pimpinela dives on…..someone the camera misses. The minis go at it again with Sagrada hitting a big dive onto Negro but Fly misses his dive a few seconds later. Blake dives over the top onto Super Fly, followed by a corkscrew plancha from Sexy. The announcers have issues with the sound and Escarlata finally gets to kiss Negro. Sagrada throws Negro in AJ Lee’s Black Widow for the submission.

Rating: C. Well that…..happened. I remember hearing Sean Waltman say there’s no psychology in lucha matches and that’s very clear here. This was all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason for anything that was going on. They were just doing random spots to each other and if they made sense then great but it didn’t really matter either way. I did however find Escarlata a lot easier to sit through here than in Lucha Underground, though that might have something to do with not having to listen to Striker call him Pimpy every ten seconds.

The announcers get the sound back and Hugo makes me laugh by asking why things always happen to him around tables.

Sexy Star dances post match.

World Cruiserweight Title: El Hijo del Fantasma vs. Daga vs. Fenix vs. Angelico vs. Australian Suicide vs. Bengala vs. Drago vs. Jack Evans vs. Joe Lider vs. Pentagon Jr.

This is a ten way elimination match (oh joy) to unify Daga’s Cruiserweight Title with Fenix’s Fusion Title. You may know Hijo del Fantasma as King Cuerno, as well as a few other names from Lucha Underground. I’ll do my best to keep track of these guys but I make no promises whatsoever. From what I can tell, neither title ever changed hands in a singles match. That must be a cultural thing because it’s rather insane otherwise. Pentagon Jr. comes in as Sexy Star’s partner in the World Mixed Tag Team Champions while Evans and Angelico are the World Tag Team Champions. Fenix has a posse with him.

Thankfully there are only two people in the ring at once and the other eight stay on the floor until someone is sent outside. One last note: Ricochet (Prince Puma) was supposed to be in this match but is being replaced by Drago due to some flight issues. Bengala quickly sends Pentagon outside and follows him out with a huge moonsault, which impresses Vampiro greatly. Fantasma runs over Evans with a clothesline and Angelico comes in to help. Pentagon and I think Suicide double team Jack before Lider comes in, only to get knocked to the floor, setting up a HUGE corkscrew plancha from Drago to take down all ten guys.

Lider rolls Bengala up for two back inside but Bengala grabs a rollup of his own with a nice cradle for the first elimination. Pentagon powerbombs Suicide as Savinovich has no idea who all is in there. A big spinning DDT plants Pentagon before Drago runs the ropes to hurricanrana Fenix. That’s fine with Fantasma though as he gets his knees up to block Suicide’s Shooting Star. This is going so fast that you can really only call spots because there’s no story or flow to the match to speak of. Pentagon hits a running package piledriver (looked sick) to eliminate Suicide and get us down to eight.

Drago comes in and flips all around Pentagon but gets knocked to the floor. Evans backflips to avoid a clothesline from Pentagon and hits a kind of Pele kick, only to have Daga kick him down as well. Of course Jack isn’t interested in selling and loads up a 450 but has to bail out, setting up another package piledriver from Pentagon. Daga adds a suplex into a backbreaker for a double pin, leaving seven guys in the running.

It’s off to Bengala and Fenix to trade running kicks in the corner. That bores them so they try exchanging tombstone attempts until Bengala is dropped HARD on his head for an elimination. Doctors come out to check on Bengala as Fenix is backdropped into the air but turns around into a sweet hurricanrana. The fans, as they have been all night, are mostly uninterested. Either that or they’re very badly mic’d as there haven’t been many substantial pops over an hour into the show.

Fenix dives through the ropes into another hurricanrana on Pentagon but Fantasma jumps him from behind. A whip sends Fenix into a powerbomb into a backbreaker on the ramp, which doesn’t make a ton of difference here. Daga hits a suicide dive to take out Fantasma for a big crash. Well in theory it was a big crash as the camera missed it again. I can live with that a bit more in a major free for all like this, especially once it gets on the floor.

Fenix pops right back up and even Vampiro is saying he should still be down. A HUGE top rope hurricanrana and standing moonsault are enough to eliminate Pentagon, leaving us with Fenix, Daga, Angelico and Fantasma. Bengala is just being taken out. Angelico pounds on Daga in the corner as Fantasma goes outside, leaving no one for Fenix to handspring elbow. Angelico joins him on the floor, allowing Fenix to run from one corner to another for a huge double turn corkscrew dive. Daga hits a Canadian Destroyer and discus lariat to Fenix, setting up a rear naked choke for the submission.

Down to three now as Daga tornado DDT’s Angelico into a guillotine choke but Angelico powers up to his feet for the break. Angelico kind of break dances into a kick to the head to stagger Daga, setting up a running Razor’s Edge into the buckle. More doctors are out to check on Fantasma as Angelico gets the pin to put us down to one on one. Fantasma pops up and dropkicks Angelico to the floor for a big suicide dive. Vampiro: “He knocked that South African all the way back to Japan!”

Both guys crawl back in at the 19 count and we actually have a breather. Fantasma’s top rope sunset bomb is countered and Angelico gets two off another running Razor’s Edge into the corner. He loads up another from the middle rope but Fantasma slips off to escape a bad case of death. They chop it out on the ropes with Fantasma getting the better of it, setting up what was supposed to be a reverse hurricanrana but winds up just being Angelico taking a back bump. A fireman’s carry into a tombstone (called a flying inverted neckbreaker into a brainbuster by Hugo) is enough to give Fantasma the title.

Rating: D+. The high flying was fun here at times but the ridiculous amount of botches and complete lack of flow drove me crazy. They were all over the place and I get the idea behind a wild fight like this, but would a little bit of order have killed them? It doesn’t help that I have absolutely no idea if any of these guys are faces or heels as they all wrestle about the same style. Total mess but some fun high spots helped it a lot.

Commissioner Fantasma presents his son with the new green title belt post match. Vampiro implies that Hijo is a heel for the first indication of alignment all night.

We get the announcements for the Hall of Fame, which I don’t think are announced prior to the show. This year’s class include El Brazo and someone to be named later. Vampiro tells a nice story about Brazo’s family taking care of him when he showed up in Mexico when he was just 19 years old. AAA boss Joaquin Roldan presents the Brazo family with a plaque for the induction.

Video on Taya vs. Faby Apache for the Reina de Reinas (Queen of Queens, meaning the Women’s) Title. There’s a cool visual here with a chess board showing only two queens slowly moving closer to each other.

Reina de Reinas: Taya vs. Faby Apache

Apache is defending and has Drago in her corner while Taya has Sexy Star and some of Los Perros Del Mal. Referee Hijo de Tirantes (Son of Suspenders. Seriously) gets his own introduction, complete with flexing. Feeling out process to start with Faby easily taking the challenger down and cranking on the legs. It turns into a battle of hair pulling, which Vampiro excuses because it’s Mexico. A running double knee to the face has Apache in trouble early and we hit one of the only chinlocks of the night.

Back up and Faby superkicks a charging Taya to send her out to the floor. Tirantes, a known heel referee, won’t let Faby follow Taya out. Faby goes after her anyway but eats a fall away slam back inside. A fisherman’s suplex, with Taya being nice enough to lift her leg to be grabbed, gets two for Faby. Taya looks to have a busted nose as she gets two of her own off a facebuster. The champ grabs an Orton DDT but the referee stops the count at two to check on the injured nose. Works well enough I guess.

Taya is in the ropes so Faby charges, only to get caught in a kind of guillotine choke. The referee has no interest in breaking up the hold despite it being in the ropes so Faby escapes and puts on a rolling armbar instead. That goes nowhere so it’s off to a heel hook instead but Tirantes grabs Faby’s hair to break up the hold. Commissioner Fantasma is nowhere in sight. A superplex gets two for Faby as the referee just stops counting at two. It’s better than Nick Patrick’s overblown shoulder spasms at least.

That earns him a missile dropkick and draws in Sexy Star, only to have Faby drop her longtime rival with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Cue a second referee and Fantasma (senior) for some actual law and order. Taya misses a moonsault (on a broken nose remember) and gets kicked in the face for two. Taya comes back with a northern lights suplex and a double stomp for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. After all of the insane messes I sat through in the first two matches, this insanity was kind of a necessary step down. I can get behind a good crooked heel referee idea and that’s what we got here. Not a great or even a really good match but this is the best story I’ve seen all night.

Vampiro talks about all the hard work Taya has put in to get here, which really doesn’t jive with the whole crooked referee story or the fact that Taya was clearly the heel here. Then again, neither does Taya winning with a clean wrestling move after all the cheating but I’ll take what I can get.

The other inductee into the Hall of Fame is Rayo de Jalisco (Lightning from Jalisco) but Los Perros come out to jump Rayo Jr. Blue Demon Jr. comes out to help break it up and a big brawl breaks out.

A steel cage is lowered as the Star Wars theme plays. I’m digging this company’s music selections.

Video on the upcoming six way cage match where the last man in will either have his head shaved or lose his mask.

El Mesias vs. La Parka vs. Electroshock vs. Chessman vs. Averno vs. Blue Demon Jr.

This is in a cage and the last man in loses his mask or hair. Mesias is subbing for Jeff Jarrett, who is also missing due to travel issues. Averno, Mesias, Electroshock (I think at least as he wears a half mask) and Chessman (the reigning Latin American Champion) can have their heads shaved and the other two can lose their masks. Mesias is better known as Mil Muertes in Lucha Underground at the moment.

Averno and Chessman jump Mesias before everyone else make it to the ring and Electroshock gets the same treatment. Chessman climbs to the top of the cage and drops a leg to drive someone through a table. None of this is SHOWN OF COURSE because we needed to see Blue Demon high fiving fans. This company is making my head hurt. While all this is going on, La Parka has his admittedly awesome entrance to Thriller.

So everyone is in now and it’s La Parka getting the first advantage that we can actually see. Mesias is already bleeding and everyone not named Electroshock (or La Parka of course) jump La Parka. That’s fine with La Parka who gets to the top of the cage (having lost a boot somewhere in there) and is out less than two minutes after getting in. Electroshock is busted as well as the announcers finally explain the idea. Granted they’re not sure if Electroshock’s hair or mask is on the line either.

Averno tells Chessman to load up Mesias for a double team move but runs up the cage to make the second escape. We’re already down to four and Demon shrugs off all three other guys and makes it out. They’re flying through this match. Mesias superplexes Chessman down but Chessman pops up and grabs a guitar. Averno is back though and throws powder at Electroshock, allowing Chessman to nail him with the guitar. A spear from Mesias drops Chessman but he quickly pulls Mesias down and escapes.

So it’s Mesias vs. Electroshock as the final pairing and they stare each other down. Mesias’ tombstone doesn’t work an Electroshock nails an RKO, only to have Mesias make a quick save. Mesias sends him shoulder first into the cage but can’t escape either as Electroshock pulls him down. Vampiro: “What a bump.” An Alabama Slam plants Mesias and draws about the 1000^th OH MY GOD of the night from Vampiro. They chop it out on the top rope until Mesias hits something like a super Backstabber, allowing him to escape for the win.

Rating: D. Well let’s see. Or don’t see actually, which is the case with the big spot through the table. Other than that, the majority of the match was spent on quick escapes and people fighting with no reasons given. That’s one of the major issues of the night: I have no idea why these people are fighting most of the time. English commentary is nice, but these guys are REALLY bad at giving us backstories.

Electroshock has his head shaved. Mesias gets back in and a brawl breaks out.

Now we have clowns bringing out ice cream. Vampiro is annoyed that he doesn’t get one. I have no idea what the point of this was. Apparently these two are part of the Psycho Circus, which we’ll get to now.

Video on Psycho Clown vs. Texano Jr. which is part of a long feud between Texano and the Clown. Psycho had a few World Title shots at Texano earlier in the year but kept getting screwed out of the belt. Thank you Wikipedia, as the announcers just say it’s a generational battle.

El Texano Jr. vs. Psycho Clown

This is mask vs. hair and Texano’s World Title isn’t on the line. He’s also taken the hair of. Psycho’s brother and father so there’s a long story here. Hijo de Fantasma is in Texano’s corner and might slip him a foreign object. It’s a brawl to start as the Spanish commentary is bleeding in. Psycho sidesteps Texano to send him outside, setting up a nice suicide dive. It’s Texano up first though and a chair to the ribs slows the Clown down.

Back in and Texano goes after the mask before just blasting Psycho in the head with a chair twice in a row. Fantasma hands Texano a spike of some kind and we’ve got a LOT of blood early on. Back in and we get more stabbing as Vampiro talks about hatred between these two but, as usual, doesn’t explain WHY they hate each other aside from they apparently have for a good while. Psycho fights up but gets tripped by Fantasma as the referee is being very lenient.

Texano bites at the cut on the forehead and rips away with the spike even more. Mini Clown was dropped somewhere in there as Psycho kicks out of a rollup with feet on the ropes. Now it’s off to the knee but Texano opts for the bullrope. I can’t even get away from that thing in another country. Cue Monster Clown (over 400lbs) with a towel and a few guys in suits. Another referee comes down and I guess the first one was corrupt? If he was he didn’t seem to be very good at it.

Psycho gets a quick rollup for two but Texano stomps him right back down. The Clown is getting fired up though and scores with a powerslam for two followed by a hurricanrana for the same. Texano gets thrown to the floor (guess how much we saw of it) and taken down by another suicide dive. This time it’s Texano getting chaired in the head to show a bad cut of his own. Something like Kevin Owens’ Cannonball over the ropes connects but Texano comes back with chair shots of his own in the ring.

Fantasma helps as well and loads up a table but Psycho gets a breather with right hands to the ribs. A HUGE superbomb through the table gets two on Texano and the fans are actually stunned. Commissioner Papa Fantasma FINALLY comes out and ejects his son before Texano rolls through a high cross body for two. A wicked Batista Bomb gets two for the champ but Psycho throws him to the floor and dives over the referee to take Texano down in a huge crash. Vampiro looks STUNNED in a great visual.

Since selling isn’t a thing around here, Texano pops up and hits a flip dive of his own (better one too) to put the Clown down one more time. Back in and Texano hooks a chinlock with two knees in the spine….before just letting go. Psycho grabs White Noise for two and it’s time for another table. As per Wrestling Law, Texano is able to suplex Psycho through the table because the Clown introduced it. Texano gets crotched on top and taken down with something like a running Codebreaker for two.

A superplex drops the Clown as the stamina (and lack of selling) here is remarkable. Back up again and Texano misses a bullrope shot and gets caught in a Canadian Destroyer (Vampiro: “I have never seen this before!” Hugo: “A flipping neckbreaker!”) for a very close two. Time for yet another table and Texano puts him up on top, but gets caught in a SUPER CANADIAN DESTROYER THROUGH THE TABLE to finally give Psycho Clown the pin.

Rating: B. Well that was……REALLY long. They easily could have cut out about five to ten minutes from this and made this feel a lot tighter. I got the idea behind the match with the Clown doing whatever he could to get revenge and finally beat Texano by taking him to a place he’s never had to go before. It’s good stuff and by far the best match of the show, but it could have been a classic brawl if you cut out some of the filler, which felt like they were just extending the match more than once.

The Clown family comes into the ring to celebrate as Texano is shaved, despite trying to run off. The bloody guys FINALLY shake hands after staring at each other for the better part of ever.

We get a quick video showing the four people in the main event: a fourway elimination match for the Copa Triplemania XXII. From what I can tell the Cup has been a thing before, but my goodness this doesn’t feel like much of a main event.

Copa Triplemania XXII: Cibernetico vs. Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. El Hijo de Perro Aguayo vs. Myzteziz

Elimination rules. Myzteziz is the original Sin Cara and Wagner is returning after some issues with the organization. He also has his son, El Hijo de Dr. Wagner in his corner. Apparently the Cup hasn’t been defended in thirteen years. Oh yeah this is a lame out. Everyone goes after Wagner to start with Perro sending him into the crowd for a beating with a cup. Back inside, Myzteziz, who now has his back and chest covered in tattoos, gets chopped into the corner. Perro knocks Wagner up the ramp with a chair and Cibernetico joins in.

Everyone gets back inside and Perro just throws the chair at Wagner’s back. He bites the Dr.’s shoulder before switching over to Myzteziz but can’t get the mask off. Instead Perro ties him in the Tree of Woe as Cibernetico does the same to Wagner. That goes nowhere so Aguayo blasts Myzteziz in the face with a chair. Wagner has a huge hole in his shoulder and Vampiro says you can see the bone coming out of the skin.

Myzteziz, who is busted wide open, finally does something by dropkicking Cibernetico down and hurricanranaing Perro out to the floor. A 619 drops Aguayo but the Dr. gets back in and kicks at the other masked man. Myzteziz kicks him in the bad arm as the fans rally behind Wagner. They head outside with Dr. hitting a cannonball off the apron, followed by a catapult to send Myzteziz into the post. Back in and Cibernetico misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in a Samoan drop. Wagner’s arm is just GONE and it’s clear that he needs to get out of there.

Wagner gets back up and rips at Myzteziz’s mask to the point that you can see both eyes. Myzteziz goes for the Dr.’s mask in turn as Vampiro keeps saying something looks wrong with Cibernetico. The very bloody Myzteziz dives into a cutter to give Wagner two but he gets caught in La Mistica (Fujiwara Armbar). That brings Perro back in to break it up though and everyone takes shots at Wagner. It’s almost uncomfortable how much they’re focusing on him. Myzteziz tries an Asai moonsault onto Perro but hits raised boots.

Back inside and Wagner’s son breaks up a chokeslam, only to eat one of his own from Cibernetico. Wagner goes after the knee but takes a chokeslam for the elimination and a big reaction. That makes Cibernetico smile for the first time and he looks like a completely different person. There’s a chokeslam to Myzteziz for no cover but the second attempt is countered into La Mistica for an almost immediate tap. It’s down to Myzteziz vs. Perro and Aguayo has to break up an early Mistica attempt. The referee breaks up a chair shot from Perro but a quick low blow gives Aquayo the Cup.

Rating: D. The only reason this is so high is the artery that Myzteziz (so glad I don’t have to type that again) tapped into during the match. This felt like a gang beating on Wagner and a lot more real than it should have been. The match wasn’t even entertaining and felt like a major downfall after the previous war. It’s a perfect way to cap off such a messy show.

Perro celebrates but here’s Alberto again. He rants about Perro ruining the evening for so many legends, but Aguayo will respect El Patron. Alberto talks about wanting to fight no matter what no compete clauses he has. Perro jumps him but gets caught in the cross armbreaker, which still should be called Destiny. Los Perros run in for the save but Alberto is the biggest hero that has ever heroed in the history of Mexico.

Not shown on the PPV, but Rey Mysterio showed up in a video post show, saying he was ready for his great exit. This has yet to happen about six months later.

Overall Rating: D-. Yeah the Psycho Clown match was really good, but hokey freaking smokes this was a borderline disaster. There were six matches on this show with a ridiculous THIRTY TWO wrestlers in the ring, not counting run-ins and Alberto. There is so much packed into this show, but somehow it feels like nothing happened. Let’s see. Alberto debuted, some cruiserweight titles were unified, some guys got their heads shaved and a heel wins a competition that hasn’t been around in thirteen years. What in the world was this show supposed to be other than an ad for Alberto?

I’ve liked the AAA that I’ve seen before but this was such a mess and a disaster that it’s almost impossible to get much out of it. Yeah Del Rio looked good, but shouldn’t Psycho Clown get a shot now? In theory the hair means more than the title, but it feels really anti-climactic. This show needed to slow down and breathe for a LONG time (and it’s not like they didn’t have time with nearly four hours) instead of just pouring in another multi-man match.

On top of that, the commentary was almost more of a burden than a good thing. I’ve never been a fan of Savinovich’s commentary and somehow Vampiro was the better guy out there tonight. I have no idea what the stories were for most of these matches and it’s really annoying having to try to figure it out based on the few clues you can pick up. I really didn’t care for this show and it really hurt what I thought of the company as a whole.

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Lucha Underground
Date: February 4, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The big stories at the moment continue to be Cage going after Puma’s Lucha Underground Title, even ripping the belt apart on the last show, as well as the Crenshaw Crew switching allegiance from Big Ryck to Dario Cueto. Maybe they can use the money to buy some clothes that actually set them apart. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Cueto giving away Ryck’s money and the company going insane ever since. This led to the Crenshaw Crew turning on Ryck and burning his eye to start their feud. We also look at last week’s title match.

Mariachi El Bronx, the house band, plays us in.

Son of Havoc vs. Angelico

Before the match, Ivelisse says she’s tired of reading these tweets on social media (just call it Twitter) saying Son of Havoc sucks because she does not date losers. Striker calls Havoc the SD Jones of Lucha Underground. The bell rings and we pass nine seconds, meaning Striker is already wrong. They start fast with Havoc working on a wristlock until Angelico spins all over the place as the announcers start talking about UFC.

Angelico hits some running knees but Ivelisse grabs his foot (lucky guy), allowing Havoc to hit a spinning face plant for two. Havoc gets two more off a standing moonsault and stops a comeback with an atomic drop. The announcers don’t want to call it anything because they’re pests who fail at having personalities. Angelico comes back with a dropkick and a HUGE dive over the top to knock Havoc onto the ramp.

Back in and the fans are still behind Havoc as he charges into a boot in the corner but blocks a superplex attempt. A shooting star doesn’t work but Havoc lands on his feet because he can. That was just cool looking. Angelico catches him on the top but his Razor’s Edge is countered into a hurricanrana for no cover. Ivelisse gets on the apron for a kiss and a distraction, but Angelico kicks out of an O’Connor roll to send Havoc into her ribs, setting up a rollup from Angelico for the pin.

Rating: C. I lost track of who to cheer for about halfway through the match. Havoc was doing heelish things but hit face high spots, including landing on his feet on that shooting star. That’s the kind of thing you would expect to see from Shelton Benjamin back in the day and Havoc made it look easy. Having a chick like Ivelisse should make you the biggest heel around but psychology has never been this company’s strong suit.

Ivelisse storms off without Havoc.

Dario is talking to someone we can’t see and says he hasn’t seen him since Aztec Warfare. The mystery man must be ready for some action, and it’s Johnny Mundo. He’s in the main event tonight against Cage, so Johnny tells Cueto to get another title belt.

Video on Pentagon Jr. practicing martial arts. I’ve never heard of the discipline including tilt-a-whirl backbreakers. His new tagline is No Fear.

Famous B. vs. Pentagon Jr.

Pentagaon hits a quick kick to the head and a LOUD chop in the corner but a springboard armdrag puts him down. That’s fine with Pentagon who kicks B. in the head again setting up a package piledriver and an armtrap armbar for the submission.

Pentagon snaps the arm back, presumably breaking the shoulder. He pledges his loyalty to his master, whomever that may be.

Cueto is looking at his key again and tells someone off camera that the Black Lotus is coming for them. He has to protect the temple from a cancer.

Drago vs. Aerostar

You shouldn’t be back in the ring a week after losing a last man standing match. I know it wasn’t a devastating physical loss but you should be off TV for a bit. Drago cranks on the arm to start and hits a quick dropkick to the side of the head. A hurricanrana takes Drago down, setting up a springboard double stomp for two.

Striker goes into Harry Potter mode to talk about Aerostar hitting a huge dive from the middle rope over the top to take out Drago. Back in and Drago hits a quick dropkick for two before Aerostar might have injured himself while attempting to duck a leapfrog. Aerostar bails to the floor and gets hit by a big spinning dive before a running Blockbuster gives Drago the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but again the commentary really dragged this down. Striker and Vampiro are like a more wrestling centric version of Tenay and Taz: they get so far off topic but throw in an occasional reference to something related to the match to officially do their jobs, but it’s much more about whatever jokes and lines they can get in to amuse themselves.

Fenix is working out in the back when Catrina comes in to tap him on the back. She asks why he has a tattoo on his chest, thinking it might protect him from having nightmares. It won’t save him from Mil Muertes though and she kisses him. Catrina warns him not to say anything about this or Muertes will bury both of them alive. Ok then.

Johnny Mundo vs. Cage

Cage has the ripped up title around his neck. Mundo tries to speed things up to start but gets slammed down with a shot to the ribs. A spinning kick to the head staggers Cage for two before Mundo starts hammering away with right hands. Cage bails to the floor and catches a hurricanrana before throwing Mundo into the post. Granted it didn’t look like there was much of an impact but it did in fact happen. Cuerno is shown watching from the balcony.

Back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker stays on the injured spine. Cage jumps from the middle rope to the top rope for a moonsault in another scary looking display of athleticism. Johnny stands up and hits a spinning kick to the face, followed by a Shining Wizard for two. A Scorpion Death Drop (thankfully referred to as such by Striker instead of the Slop Drop) gets the same but Cage catches him in an Alabama Slam (not Jam Striker. I knew he’d screw up soon enough) for another near fall.

The Flying Chuck (which may or may not be called the Book of Revelation. That might just be Striker overthinking everything again) drops Cage again but he rolls away from the End of the World. That’s fine with Mundo who hits a big spinning dive over the corner. This draws Cuerno out of the balcony to trip Mundo for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was similar to last week’s main event and again it’s a good sign that Cage can do so many things in the ring. It’s not a masterpiece or anything like that, but Cuerno vs. Mundo should be fun. Cuerno has been one of my favorites in this company and I’d love to see him in there with a more talented guy.

Cuerno crushes the knee against the post and cracks it with a chair. This brings out Cueto to restart the match, causing Striker to imitate the Terminator. Mundo actually fights back with some kicks while holding onto the top rope but gets caught in an old school Brock Lock, sending Johnny right back to the ropes. A bunch of rights and lefts in the corner have Cage reeling and the Moonlight Drive gets two. Back up and an F5 (Metalingus, also the name of Edge’s theme song) gets two more but a Gory Special into a Downward Spiral is finally enough to pin Mundo. Don’t bust out big moves like that F5 if it’s not the finish.

The credits roll but we go back to Cueto’s office. Someone knocks on the door but Cueto says go away. A familiar voice says we’re just getting started. In walks Alberto El Patron, but you already knew that. Now that’s how you end a show.

Overall Rating: C+. That ending helped a decent show get better. This episode was much more about starting up new stories than the wrestling, though the in ring stuff wasn’t bad. Mundo vs. Cuerno is an interesting idea and should give us some good matches. I can also get behind anything with Catrina who is a great non-wrestler. Throw in more Ivelisse and I don’t have many complaints here, other than commentary of course.

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