Monday Night Raw
Date: June 28, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

It’s the last show of the month and the big story coming out of last week is Razor Ramon’s continued frustrations with the 1-2-3 Kid. Last week Ramon still couldn’t beat the Kid, who ran off with the $10,000 Ramon was putting up. Other than that, we’re coming up on the Yokozuna bodyslam challenge, which could be rather interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kamala

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending. They take their time to start with Michaels offering a handshake, which allows him to knock Kamala into the corner. Kamala doesn’t care for that and bites the finger before knocking Michaels out to the floor. Back in and Kamala charges into some raised knees in the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Kamala’s bearhug being broken up with a rake to the eyes, allowing Michaels to stomp away. Michaels avoids a charge in the corner and goes after the leg, though the Figure Four attempt is blocked. Kamala kicks him into the corner and starts chopping away, setting up the splash to the back. As usual, Kamala doesn’t quite have the pinning thing down so Diesel gets on the apron. That’s enough for Michaels to hit a superkick to the back of the head for the pin at 11;15.

Rating: C-. Michaels is an all time star but there is only so much you can do in this situation. Kamala’s good guy run was a stretch on its best day and then it was hard to make something like this work. Diesel being involved in the ending helped establish him, but the idea of Michaels needing help against Kamala is a stretch at best.

Post match Kamala goes after Michaels but Diesel makes the save.

Here are Yokozuna and company for a chat. Mr. Fuji is ready to humiliate various American athletes at the bodyslam challenge but Vince McMahon warns him that America is kind of amazing. Someone will step up and hit a home run, though Fuji doesn’t seem convinced. Yokozuna calls American athletes inferior, just like American products, so McMahon gets a USA chant going. It was weird to hear McMahon be so one sided in a story like this, but it shows how big of a villain Yokozuna really is.

Various athletes, including Tatanka, say they can slam Yokozuna.

Smoking Gunns vs. Iron Mike Sharpe/Barry Horowitz

Billy and Sharpe start things off with Billy clearing both jobbers out in a hurry. Bart comes in for a crisscross into a small package for two on Sharpe, followed by the armbar. It’s off to Horowitz, who avoids a crossbody to actually take over. A northern lights suplex doesn’t get Horowitz very far as Bart is back up for the tag off to Billy. The Sidewinder finishes Horowitz at 4:25.

Rating: C. The Gunns are only going to be able to go so far, but at the same time, the tag division isn’t exactly strong at this point so they only have to be so good. They have a time honored gimmick and the Sidewinder isn’t bad. Just let them win some matches and see where they can go from here.

We look at the 1-2-3 Kid stealing Razor Ramon’s money last week.

Here is Money Inc. for a chat, with Vince McMahon immediately mocking them for being the FORMER Tag Team Champions. IRS shrugs that off because they have a rematch clause in their contract against the Steiner Brothers. They move on to the idea of keeping your money, with Ted DiBiase mocking Razor Ramon for losing his cool, and as a result, his money, last week. Maybe Ramon can go to some stupid school like the University Of Michigan so Ramon can become the third Steiner Brother! And that’s how we’re setting up Ramon’s face turn.

Adam Bomb vs. PJ Walker

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb, who chokes Walker down to start. Naturally commentary ignores the match to talk about the bodyslam challenge, even as Bomb takes him to the floor for a hard clothesline. Back in and a top rope clothesline sets up the Atom Smasher for the pin at 2:14.

Crush vs. Bastion Booger

Heenan says Booger is related to Hilary Clinton as Crush can’t quite lift him up. Instead they go outside, with Crush not being able to ram him into the post. Booger can send him into the post though, and the steps as well. Back in and Booger grabs a bearhug but Crush powers out and manages a suplex. Some slams put Booger down, followed by a second and third for the pin at 5:37.

Rating: D+. Hey, did you know that Crush is strong and can lift large people? That was the entire point of the match and there wasn’t anything else going on, which made for a long five minutes. The match was as dull as you would expect and thankfully they did what they should have. It’s about as good as a Booger match is going to be, because, shockingly enough, he’s not very good.

Randy Savage is at Giants Stadium with a New York Giant who is ready to slam Yokozuna.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Commentary is hyped for the bodyslam challenge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The idea of this show was focusing on the upcoming bodyslam challenge, with Crush being the big name who is going to come after him. That’s a fine enough idea, but then you realize that you’re getting ready for a bodyslam challenge rather than a match. It’s only going to change so much, and it makes for some rough time on the way there, which was on display this week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 19, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re still a long way away from Summerslam but Lex Luger has come up with something better than being on Raw: he’s going to be on a bus! Over the weekend, Luger announced the launch of the Lex Express as he is trying to find his way to a title shot at Summerslam. Other than that, Marty Jannetty wants the Intercontinental Title back from Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at the launch of the Lex Express, with Lex Luger saying it’s still cool to be patriotic.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending. Jannetty stops to look at Diesel and gets decked from behind. A backslide doesn’t work for Michaels and Jannetty counters a rollup by sending him to the floor. Back in and Michaels misses the superkick, which leaves him rather frustrated. A flying shoulder only hits the buckle so Jannetty starts in on the arm. Jannetty takes him down again and hits a DDT for the pin…but Michaels’ foot was on the rope.

We take a break and come back with the match continuing as Jannetty grabs a suplex for two. A backbreaker gives Jannetty two and the sleeper goes on. Michaels manages to send him outside for the break before they collide back inside. A poke to the eye staggers Jannetty again and we take another break.

We come back with Michaels grabbing a chinlock, which in this case means an arm laying over Jannetty’s chest (that looked horrible). Thankfully it’s switched to a front facelock, which goes on for a good while. That’s broken up and Jannetty counters a piledriver into a hurricanrana. Jannetty rolls through a high crossbody for two but misses a charge and crashes hard to the floor. Diesel throws him back in and Michaels retains at 21:21.

Rating: B. This was a good match, though the two of them have had some rather strong matches over the years so that isn’t a big surprise. The Rockers might not have been the best team ever but they worked well together in a variety of ways. Good stuff here, though pretty much the end of Jannetty as a serious contender for anything.

Vince McMahon brings out Money Inc. for a chat. They aren’t happy about losing the Tag Team Titles to the Steiner Brothers but they’ll get them back next week. DiBiase mocks Razor Ramon for losing to the 1-2-3 Kid and thinks Ramon could have a job working for them. Ramon comes out to say he works for no one and has no price before taking them out. DiBiase swears revenge and challenges….the 1-2-3 Kid to show Ramon how it’s done. That’s the official face turn and yeah that worked.

Men On A Mission vs. Rich Myers/Hank Harris

Oscar is here with MOM, who take over on Myers to start. The slow motion beating ensues and apparently Men On A Mission are the team of the future. No wonder the tag division was in such bad shape in the 90s. The double splash ends Harris at 1:43.

It’s the Summerslam Report, which focuses on Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler and Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez in a Rest In Peace match (as Mr. Hughes doesn’t seem to have the legs to get that far).

We look at the beginning of the Lex Express tour. It’s Lex Luger on a bus and greeting fans.

Bastion Booger vs. Scott Depres

Booger runs him over, drops a leg and hits a powerslam. The weird sitdown splash finishes at 58 seconds.

Next week: Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow II. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Here is Jerry Lawler for the King’s Court. He brings out his guest, ukulele player Tiny Tim, who is the definition of a gimmick performer, whom Lawler mocks for his weird appearance. Tim starts singing his song, Tiptoe Through The Tulips, and Lawler cuts him off after a few notes. He has a radio show in Iowa coming up but stops to note the BURGER KING chants. Tim thinks Lawler is more the DAIRY QUEEN so Lawler breaks his ukulele. In case this doesn’t mean anything to you, note that Tim’s big song was released in 1968.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Chris Duffy

Duffy takes him into the corner to start as Money Inc. comes out to watch. Kid gets hiptossed down but comes back with a kick of his own. The running legdrop (those always looked good) has Duffy in more trouble and a running clothesline drops him again. A top rope legdrop gives the Kid a win at 2:09.

Razor Ramon comes out to mock Money Inc.

Randy Savage has abducted a child to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s one match on the show and it worked rather well, which is more than enough to carry a show like this. The rest of the show was the usual collection of short matches and little else. I’m not sure what the point of the Tiny Tim thing was, but it was probably the company’s usual obsession with any celebrity status they could get. What mattered here was Michaels vs. Jannetty though, and that made up for the rest of the show.

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Survivor Series Showdown 1993
Date: November 21, 1993
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Gorilla Monsoon

So this is a special that was more or less a big buildup to Survivor Series, which will include some singles matches before the team versions at the pay per view. In other words, expect a healthy dose of Bret Hart and Lex Luger, which could be rather hit or miss. It’s not the best time for the WWF but maybe it can work. Let’s get to it.

Sidenote: I have no idea why Bret has the title in the image. That’s just inaccurate.

We open with a look back at Superstars, with Bret Hart having to fight off Yokozuna, setting up a WWF Title match.

We’re in two different locations (read as it was taped on two nights) and we actually hear from two sets of commentary teams. That’s more than you usually get out of the WWF.

Bastion Booger vs. Doink The Clown

Bastion brings out some leftover pizza, because he’s huge you see. Before the match, Booger teases stealing Doink’s scooter but falls down for the opening bell. Back in and Booger grabs him by the sleeve, which extends rather far. Bastion powers him into the corner to start but misses a charge and gets tripped out to the floor. Doink makes the mistake of following him and gets splashed up against the post.

Back in and Bastion elbows him in the face, setting up the reverse chinlock. Some shoulders in the corner have Doink in more trouble as commentary talks about the Boston Celtics. A clothesline gives Bastion two….but he lets go when Doink taps him on the shoulder. The distracted Bastion gets rolled up for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: D. Oh no this didn’t work, as it was really slow paced and then had a bunch of stupid comedy moments, including the rollup pin. There was only so much that Doink could do with someone of Bastion’s size, which is one of the reasons Bastion didn’t work. Rather horrible match here, and that shouldn’t be a big surprise.

Post match Doink puts hot sauce on Bastion’s pizza to make things worse.

We look back at Ludvig Borga pinning an unconscious Tatanka for his first ever loss.

Here are the All Americans (Lex Luger, the Steiner Brothers and the Undertaker) for a chat. Tatanka is out but so is Quebecer Pierre, who is being replaced by Crush. Luger says the match has already begun and the Foreign Fanatics will be officially eliminated on Wednesday (yeah pay per views were occasionally on week nights). The Undertaker promises to eliminate all of the foreigners, because that’s kind of his thing.

Todd Pettengill explains how to order pay per view. Yes this used to be a thing and yes it could be complicated enough to need something like this.

We look back at Crush attacking Randy Savage, allowing Yokozuna to crush his ribs. Savage swore revenge and lost his broadcasting job as a result.

Crush vs. Virgil

Crush, with Mr. Fuji, wastes no time in headbutting him down. Some more kicks put Virgil down as Vince talks about the individuality of the Foreign Fanatics. Virgil manages to fight up and knock Crush out to the floor but Crush kicks him in the face. Crush drops him again and fires off some shoulders in the corner, followed by another kick down. Back up and Virgil manages some shots of his own and a middle rope clothesline puts Crush down. Virgil’s big dive is pulled out of the air and Crush plants him again. The head vice finishes Virgil off at 7:57.

Rating: C-. Well, it was better than the opener, though that’s not much of a bar to clear. It was mostly an extended squash as there was no reason to believe that Virgil was going to do anything around this time. Crush was a nice midcard villain, but you’re only going to get so far with a match this long against Virgil.

The two commentary teams bicker a bit.

We look at Razor Ramon defeating Rick Martel on Superstars thanks to some botched interference from Harvey Wippleman. Martel’s Survivor Series team almost came to blows as a result.

Shawn Michaels and Reo Rodgers (Bruce Prichard doing a really bad Dusty Rhodes impression) go to the Hart House (or a close replica) and meet Helen (or a close replica). There is a big poster of Bret on the wall, with a much smaller picture of Owen next to it (screw the rest of the kids). Then they mess with Stu, which is so bad that Vince just says we’re done.

IRS vs. Marty Jannetty

IRS knocks him down to start and then does it again, making sure to fix the tie both times. A hiptoss into a dropkick sends IRS outside as we hear about his college wrestling background. Back in and Marty works on the arm as commentary previews the Survivor Series match these two have coming up, which is kind of the entire point of the show. IRS goes to the ropes to escape an armbar before getting taken down by a rope walk headlock takeover back inside.

That’s broken up and IRS sends him flying outside, with Marty coming up favoring his knee. A ram into the steps bangs Marty up even worse and we hit the chinlock. Monsoon threatens us with this kind of action times four at Survivor Series before complaining about Danny Davis’ not so great refereeing job of checking for a choke. The abdominal stretch goes on and of course Monsoon isn’t happy, with even JR getting on him a bit for being so technical. Marty fights out and hits a running knee into a jumping back elbow, only for IRS to hit the Write Off (a clothesline, because that was his finishing move) and the win at 12:35.

Rating: C. IRS is a good example of someone who is technically skilled but so dull in the ring most of the time that it’s hard to care. Jannetty was good at making the comebacks and he was trying here, but that’s a lot of chinlocks and abdominal stretching. Even Monsoon’s complaining about technical stuff couldn’t make this one overly interesting.

IRS’ suspenders are broken so thank goodness they went home when they did.

Here are the Foreign Fanatics for a chat. Jim Cornette brags about getting rid of “Tatanto” and then the All Americans came back with a foreign fanatics to get rid of Pierre. That’s why the Foreign Fanatics has brought Crush onto the team. It’s time for revenge, with Johnny Polo promising pain, agony and suffering. He even blows up a brown paper bag and pops it as a preview for what is going to happen t Lex Luger’s head. Ludvig Borga and Crush promise pain, before Cornette says he’s following the American tradition of joining the winning team.

The Survivor Series Report recaps various changes to the lineup and we run down the card. The one match that gets a recap is the Four Doinks against Bam Bam Bigelow’s team, a match that was so bad that I stopped watching halfway through at one point.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Hart is challenging and slugs away to start, even managing to knock Yokozuna to the floor. This lets Bobby Heenan tease a reveal of Shawn Michaels’ Knights but he’s sworn to secrecy. Back in and Yokozuna runs him over with a clothesline to slow things down a bit, including a big headbutt to drop Hart again. Hart is sent to the floor and we take a break, coming back with Yokozuna grabbing a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The comeback doesn’t work in the slightest as Hart bounces off Yokozuna and gets sent outside, where he manages to send Yokozuna into the steps. That doesn’t work in the slightest as Mr. Fuji distracts the referee and a chair shot rocks Hart again. We take another break and come back with Yokozuna dropping the big leg, with Vince more or less saying it’s done. The running splash misses in the corner though and a trio of clotheslines gives Hart two. Fuji’s interference doesn’t work and Hart bites his way out of a bearhug.

The middle rope bulldog gets two as the fans are getting into this one. There’s the middle rope elbow for two more but Yokozuna grabs a belly to belly. The big splash takes too long and Hart gets away, somehow getting the Sharpshooter. Cue Owen Hart, allegedly for the celebration but slapping hands with the fans like a schnook. The referee goes to yell at him, allowing Fuji to hit Bret with the salt bucket. Owen comes in and hits Yokozuna with it for the DQ at 22:50.

Rating: B-. Leave it to Bret to be able to figure out something to do with a monster like Yokozuna and make it work. Unfortunately, also leave it to 1993 WWF to have that dumb of a finish. Owen looked like a moron here and Bret would be entirely justified to yell at him for costing him the title. There is only so much that can be done with someone Yokozuna’s size but Bret got a good match out of it, certainly better than their Wrestlemania match earlier in the year.

Naturally Vince is STUNNED that Bret is disqualified.

All four commentators talks about the Survivor Series, with Monsoon doing a nice pitch of the idea. Then he threatens Heenan, as is his custom.

Men On A Mission and Oscar come out for a Survivor Series rap. Vince: “Get down! Come on Bobby, get down!”

Overall Rating: D+. Oh this was boring and there’s no way around it. The whole thing is a big commercial for Survivor Series and after watching this, I definitely do not want to see it again. The main event was by far the best thing about the show and even that was only so good. Everything else was a bunch of talking and not very good wrestling, with a boring Jannetty vs. IRS match as the second strongest part. Big skip on this one, unless you want to see Bret vs. Yokozuna again for some reason.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage, Vince McMahon

This is the last Raw before Summerslam as next week’s show is the Summerslam Spectacular special rather than a usual show. As usual, there isn’t much to be expected around here but at least we shouldn’t have any more comedy stuff. Summerslam is mostly set and now we get to see the big final push to the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ted DiBiase vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a rematch from the Kid winning in a big upset (thanks to Razor Ramon). The fans are behind the Kid, who gets jumped by DiBiase to start fast. DiBiase sends him into the buckle and chokes away as Heenan thinks this is after the Kid’s bedtime. A knee to the ribs sends the Kid to the floor as Razor Ramon calls in.

DiBiase runs the Kid over again as Razor talks about some surprises he and the Kid have. A hard whip into the corner sends the Kid outside but he comes back in with…what looked to be a crossbody that went too high and turned into more of a headscissors. DiBiase misses a charge in the corner and Kid’s high crossbody gets two. The Kid goes up again but here is IRS for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was more of a squash until the end when things started to pick up. That being said, it makes sense as the Kid had already beaten DiBiase and you don’t need to have him lose twice. The Kid was still a lucky jobber at this point but you could see the skill every time he was in there.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Steiners (who face Money Inc. at Summerslam Spectacular) come in for the save.

Randy Savage promises a surprise that keeps on giving and giving and giving.

Summerslam Spectacular ad.

Headshrinkers vs. Mike Khoury/Dave Moraldo

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers as we hear about how 7% of the population believe Elvis is still alive. Khoury gets chopped down to start and Samu makes it worse with a heck of a superkick. Moraldo is brought in and a double faceplant drops him rather quickly. There’s a double Stroke and an assisted hot shot makes it even worse for Moraldo. As Khoury lays on the apron looking a bit, uh, dead, Fatu hits the Superfly Splash for the pin on Moraldo.

Rating: C. I’ve always had a soft spot for the Headshrinkers as they are a good example of exactly what they seem to be. It was fun to watch them squash a pair of jobbers, with Khoury just laying there at the end making it all the better. If nothing else, that splash always looked good and this was an entertaining squash.

Summerslam Report, again with Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty being added.

Marty Jannetty vs. Bastion Booger

A test of strength goes badly for Jannetty to start as we hear about the Lex Express being in Denver. Why are we talking about Lex Luger? Well because what else could be more important? Jannetty gets up and doges a shot in the corner, setting up a crossbody for two. An armdrag and hiptoss actually put Bastion down and even Heenan is impressed. A dropkick puts Bastion on the floor and Jannetty knocks him down again, setting up a nice slingshot dive.

Bastion’s arm is wrapped around the post and we take a break. Back with Jannetty pulling him to the floor for a ram into the apron, earning himself a hard posting. Naturally this is a good time to talk about Madonna’s birthday and Bastion runs him over again back inside. A sunset flip doesn’t work doesn’t work at first for Jannetty as Bastion drops down onto him, only to have Jannetty him down for the pin anyway.

Rating: C. The frustrating thing about Jannetty’s issues is he could wrestle a good match on his own. This might not have been a classic match but with Jannetty having to work with a monster like Bastion, it could have been far worse. What matters is getting Jannetty some momentum on the way to Summerslam and it went fairly well as a result.

Here is Money Inc. for a chat. They’re not happy with the 1-2-3 Kid and Razor Ramon and are ready for the two of them at Summerslam. As for next week, ted DiBiase hopes the Steiners were watching as it’s going to go badly for them next week. Vince McMahon thinks the Steiners are going to take care of Money Inc. next week but DiBiase says the Steiners agreeing to the match meant that they were bought and paid for. See, the Steiners are STUPID so they’ll be losers next week. Vince thinks Money Inc. is in trouble but IRS thinks the M on the Steiners’ jackets stands for MORONS. Money Inc. isn’t great at the talking thing.

Men On A Mission vs. Mike Sharpe/Barry Horowitz

Horowitz slugs at Mo to start so it’s off to Mabel for the rather hard slam. Sharpe comes in and gets hit in the face a few times, followed by the double elbow drop. The double splash finishes Sharpe rather fast.

Post match, Oscar raps a lot.

We get part three of Who Is Lex Luger, where he talks about steroid problems. He is absolutely not taking them now and there are steroid problems in other sports but NOT the WWF. Luger did use steroids before they were declared illegal but now he knows he didn’t need them. If you train and eat right, anyone can build a great physique and he hopes children understand that. This was at least better than the other segments as it actually had something to it rather than praising Luger. Still not A MATCH but better than nothing.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Rich Myers

Luna Vachon is here with Bigelow, who backdrops Myers fast to start. The heavy forearms keep Myers down as Savage keeps teasing his big surprise. A delayed suplex drops Myers again and the top rope headbutt gives Bigelow the pin.

Rating: C. This was a bit longer of a squash than you might have expected but a squash it indeed was. Bigelow was in full on monster mode at this point and was just waiting for something to do. That would come soon enough, though unfortunately it would be with Doink The Clown, which went about as well as you would expect.

Savage’s surprise: the Macho Midget brings out the Raw girls.

A Summerslam Spectacular rundown wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Well at least we’re done with Raw and can get rid of Summerslam as there is only so much that can be done to build up that pretty lame show. The Luger stuff is hard to take, even if this is the best of them all. As for this show, it wasn’t exactly a strong last Raw before Summerslam, though the Spectacular card looks rather strong. Just stop talking about Luger already so he can win the title and all can be right with the world.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bastion Booger

We are fresh off of the Royal Rumble and on the way to Wrestlemania, but that is going to prove tricky. Bret Hart and Lex Luger are the co-winners of the Royal Rumble and that means we are going to need to figure out more than a few things. Other than that, Wrestlemania is going to need so work done so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of 1-2-3 Kid stealing IRS’s briefcase last week. Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty then saved the little thief from getting what was coming to him.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon introduces Bastion Booger (oh boy) and promises to introduce us to Thurman Plugg, whose friends call him Sparky! Booger actually talks, which is more than I was expecting. The card is run down and Booger eats a lot.

Smoking Gunns vs. Reno Riggins/Barry Horowitz

We hear about Booger wanting to host the Oscars instead of Whoopi Goldberg as Billy armdrags Riggins down a few times to start. Riggins gets sent outside and needs a meeting with Horowitz (Barry recommends more patting on the back) before coming back inside to get his arm cranked again. Bart drops Riggins with a suplex as Booger thinks he should be part of a tag team. Vince: “What about Roseanne Barr?” After some jokes about Freddie Blassie’s upcoming birthday, Bart brings in Billy for a top rope splash/something like a powerbomb combination to finish Riggins.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here but egads it is going to be a rough time to listen to Booger all night long. His voice is weird enough and then hearing him make jokes about pop culture and current stories doesn’t make it better. That being said, the Gunns continue to be one of the better teams of their generation and it is fun going back and seeing them do their thing.

We look back at Owen Hart turning on Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble.

Owen is happy with what he did after Bret cost him the Tag Team Titles.

Bret can’t let this keep going and thinks he has to do something about Owen.

Owen Hart vs. John Paul

Owen rips up some Bret Hart sunglasses that he teases giving to a fan for some good heeling. Fans: “WE WANT BRET!” Booger: “I WANT PIZZA!” Owen works on the arm to start and cranks away, only to get elbowed in the face. We talk about some weight loss show as Owen hits a backbreaker. Booger still wants pizza but Vince pitches ICO-PRO instead. That doesn’t work for Booger, as I guess he doesn’t want it. A snap suplex has Paul in trouble but he manages to send Owen into the buckle. That just earns him the spinwheel kick for two as Owen pulls him up. The enziguri sets up the Sharpshooter to end Paul.

Rating: C. I can go for more of Owen but EGADS the commentary is killing this show. Anyway, Owen is on the way to a showdown with Bret, whenever they get around to announcing the show. Another total squash, which unfortunately was more about the annoyance from Booger than anything else.

Paul Bearer is in the graveyard and insists that Undertaker may be gone but he has never left us. He comes to the graveyard to be closer to Undertaker’s spirit and you must have faith in the fact that one day, he will rise again.

The WWF Fan Festival is coming. That would be the forerunner to Axxess.

IRS vs. Marty Jannetty

IRS accuses the locals of being a bunch of tax cheats, as is his custom. Vince hypes up the Fan Festival as a way to get in the ring, get a photo with Paul Bearer, or MEET MARTY JANNETTY! IRS slugs away to start and gets his with a dropkick that didn’t look so great. Back up and the jumping back elbow sends IRS outside for a breather as tends to be his custom. We hit the pause as Booger and Vince talk about pizza.

Back in and Marty grabs a headlock takeover before working on the arm. Jannetty throws him outside for a change and gets posted for being such a cheater. A sunset flip gives Jannetty two back inside but cue the Quebecers as we take a break. Back with the Quebecers having been ejected following a double stomping of Jannetty during the break. IRS grabs the abdominal stretch with one arm and the rope with the other as Booger now wants hot dogs and hamburgers.

With that broken up, we hit the chinlock for a bit as Vince and Booger thankfully run out of food jokes. Jannetty fights up but here is Johnny Polo for a distraction as a faceplant looks to finish IRS. Cue Razor Ramon to cancel out Polo so the Quebecers come out as well. A sleeper has IRS in more trouble but Polo breaks up a slingshot and IRS steals the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a match that should have been better as you had two talented stars in there but Jannetty wasn’t exactly looking lively. I’m sure I couldn’t imagine why that was the case but it didn’t exactly work well. IRS was his usual slow paced self which works well if you have someone more high energy to work off of him. Jannetty is capable of doing that but it wasn’t happening this time.

Post match the Quebecers and Razor get inside for the brawl but Jannetty makes the save, likely setting up a pretty good tag match.

Yep, in two weeks (no show next week due to the annual Dog Show), Razor and Jannetty get a Tag Team Title shot against the Quebecers. Booger eats hot dogs as a result.

Thurman Plugg vs. Duane Gill

Plugg starts fast with a snap suplex as Booger chokes on a hot dog. Gill gets knocked into the corner and kicked in the ribs, setting up a powerslam. Vince switches his mind and says that the Tag Team Title match MIGHT take place in two weeks as Plugg hits another suplex. The Overhead Cam (top rope knee) finishes Gill off.

Rating: C-. What do you say about a guy named Thurman Plugg who is occasionally called Sparky? It’s one of the all time lame gimmicks and there isn’t much that anyone could do with the thing. Having a race car driver as a wrestling occupation is fine, but what is he supposed to do with that stupid name?

It’s the Wrestlemania Report so we start with the “historic” coin toss that determined Lex Luger gets to face Yokozuna first at Wrestlemania. Bret Hart will get a shot at the winner, whether he beats Owen Hart in his own first match or not. As screwy as this is, I’ll take it over what would be a triple threat today.

Jim Cornette rants about Yokozuna having to face Lex Luger because he already got his chance.

Also at Wrestlemania: Crush vs. Randy Savage in a weird falls count anywhere/Last Man Standing hybrid that was memorable but didn’t really work.

Crush vs. Thornberg

Crush hits a headbutt to start before snapping him down into a Fujiwara armbar. Vince talks about FOX offering Diane Sawyer $10 million for….well something I guess. More pounding ensues as Booger wants to get to the Madison Square Garden concession stands. A gorilla press into a legdrop of all things gives Crush the easy win.

The Tag Team Title match is on in two weeks.

Johnny Polo and the Quebecers aren’t happy.

Since the Dog Show is in two weeks, Booger eats some dog treats.

Men On A Mission, the Bushwhackers, Doink and Dink all bark to end the show. Thank goodness.

Overall Rating: D. This was brought WAY down by the commentary, as the joke got old in about four minutes. On top of that, it’s too early to really get the meat of Wrestlemania set. There are pieces of it set up, but they are too far out for that to matter. The highlight of the show was a pretty lame Marty Jannetty match and that should tell you all you need to know about this week.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2007
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a special show this week as it is the fifteenth anniversary celebration of the show. That means not only do we have a bunch of guest stars, but it is an extra large three hour edition. Throw in that it is also the go home show for Armageddon and this is going to be a busy night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a mash up of Raw intros over the years, though oddly enough they aren’t in chronological order.

Here are the McMahons (minus Linda of course) for a chat. Vince is ready for the McMahon Family Portrait but first, he needs to brag about how great Raw has been over the years. Tonight it is time for a family reunion, though minus Linda McMahon who has some stomach issue. Instead, he has Shane and Stephanie out here and wants the photographer but gets Hornswoggle. That means Hornswoggle grabs the leg, so Shane has to pull him off. Vince says he loves Shane, Stephanie, and the fans.

It’s time for the picture, but here is HHH to interrupt. Vince: “What are you doing here?” HHH: “I’m waiting on that pop to die down.” HHH says he’s here for the family portrait because everyone knows what is going on here. It’s like he could be Vince’s son! HHH: “Sup Steph?” Anyway, HHH wants to bring out some of the Divas, past and present, that Vince has loved before. This includes Melina, Sunny and….Mae Young! Vince: “It was at Moolah’s funeral I had a lot to drink. Steph…..and I was thinking of your mom!”

HHH calls out any WWE employee who has been mistaken for a woman and that Vince has attempted to love, drawing out the Fink, Big Dick Johnson, Bastion Booger, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz. HHH: “I guess the Brooklyn Brawler was busy tonight.” Stephanie says she’s embarrassed by Vince so it’s time that she embarrassed him. She kisses HHH for the first time in a good many years and leaves. HHH: “I’ll see you at home. Uh, I mean your brother’s a gnome!”

Vince to HHH: “I HATE YOU!” HHH tells Vince to just go away but realizes that Hornswoggle is sad. All he wanted was to be happy, so HHH brings out the Godfather, complete with women. JR: “Even Patterson is happy!” Hornswoggle’s mind is blown and dancing ensues to wrap up a hilarious segment, with HHH getting to do the humor that suits him best.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Hardy is defending in a ladder match. Carlito kicks him down and sets up the ladder way too early, only to have to stop for a clothesline. Hardy gets in a shot of his own but a slingshot dive only hits ladder. A dropkick knocks Carlito off the apron and into a ladder bridged against the barricade so Hardy goes up. That means Carlito has to springboard in to land on the ladder (Shelton Benjamin style), setting up a sunset bomb to leave them both laying.

We take a break and come back with Jeff missing a legdrop over the ladder to send him crashing down. Carlito crushes the leg in the ladder and then drops a ladder onto it to make Hardy scream even more. Hardy can barely move so Carlito….puts the ladder in the corner instead of climbing, earning himself a backdrop onto said ladder. The Swanton connects but a Backstabber sends Hardy into the ladder. Carlito goes up but this time Hardy shoves him down and retains the title.

Rating: C+. They weren’t going for anything groundbreaking here but Jeff can do this match in his sleep (and probably came close to it at various points). Carlito was just a challenger of the week as Jeff is on his way up, as he isn’t going to be losing less than a week before his pay per view showdown with HHH. They had some big spots here, but it’s just a quick ladder match with as much drama as that can bring.

Shawn Michaels can’t believe it has been fifteen years of Monday Night Raw. He was on the first show and defended the Intercontinental Title against….someone (Max Moon). While Shawn can’t remember fifteen years ago, he can remember Mr. Kennedy bringing in an impostor Marty Jannetty. That’s why he brought in the real one this week to face Kennedy, because he faces MR. HBK……HBK…..this weekend.

We take a look at some classic OMG Raw moments. I know these things are done over and over but there really have been some great ones on this show over the years.

Here are Santino Marella and Maria, with the former being tired of all this….and here’s a surprise.

Santino Marella vs. Rob Van Dam

Kick to the head and the Five Star finish in less than forty five seconds. Very nice cameo as Van Dam is always going to pop the crowd.

Long video on Evolution, which really was a special stable in a lot of ways.

Here are all four members of Evolution (or “original” members according to the introduction, even though there were only ever four of them) for a reunion. Randy Orton comes out last but says he’s going to stay on the stage instead of having the rest of the teams ride his coattails. Orton remembers what happened when HHH turned on him the last time he was champion. HHH: “Yeah that was pretty cool.”

They beat him up because hes was annoying, but Orton would rather be remembered as part of Rated-RKO with Edge, who comes out as well. Edge says he’ll take the World Title from Batista on Sunday, but Ric Flair says find a partner and let’s fight. Orton has already done that so we’re ready to go.

Evolution vs. Umaga/Rated-RKO

Joined in progress with Batista handing it off to Flair to lock up with Edge. As Lawler clarifies that the “Flair retires if he loses” only applies to singles matches, Umaga takes Flair down and grabs a nerve hold. Orton comes in to stomp away and the knee drop gets two. A backdrop gets Flair out of trouble and it’s Batista coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Umaga cleans house….but also shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was all about the reunion and I get why they didn’t have one of the #1 contenders lose. That being said, Umaga has lost to HHH on his own how many times now but can’t take a fall to most of Evolution? As has been the case with everything on this show, this is about the moment instead of the match and that’s not a bad thing.

Post match Orton and Edge leave Umaga on his own, meaning it’s big beatdown. Couldn’t they have just done that for the finish to the match?

More classic Raw moments, this time involving vehicles.

Hornswoggle annoys Mickie James and Molly Holly until William Regal breaks that up. Regal talks about Vince McMahon’s tough love, which tonight will be shown in a match against the Great Khali. Oh and as luck would have it: Finlay’s plane ticket from Ireland was canceled so Hornswoggle is on his own.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

The bell rings….and it’s Hulk Hogan (in black) for the save. We get the big staredown and Hogan hammers away, eventually knocking Khali down. That’s enough for Khali to bail as we get a tease for one more Hogan match. Hogan thanks the fans, talks about American Gladiators, does a Randy Savage OH YEAH (ok then), and poses with Hornswoggle for the funny moment.

Here are some classic D-Generation X moments.

Another classic moment: the debut of Mr. Socko, which has to be up there on the “how did they get this stupid thing over”, with the answer being “because Mick Foley is really awesome”. Vince throwing him out and sealing his own fate because he has no protection from Steve Austin a few minutes later makes it all the better.

Legends Battle Royal

Al Snow, Bart Gunn, Doink The Clown, Repo Man, Steve Blackman, Pete Gas, Bob Backlund, Gangrel, The Goon, Skinner, Flash Funk, IRS, Scotty 2 Hotty, Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Neidhart, Gillberg

For some reason there are sixteen people in a fifteen man battle royal but oh well. Gillberg gets the big entrance, but the impressive one here is Blackman, who looks better than he did in his career. Everyone gets together and tosses Gillberg before Backlund is knocked out as well. Snow knocks Doink out with Head and then does the same thing to Gangrel. Head Cheese explodes for a bit but Funk kicks Snow out.

A bunch of people go out in a hurry and suddenly we’re down to IRS, Slaughter, Scotty and Skinner. IRS grabs his briefcase but Scotty knocks it into his face, setting up the Worm. Skinner dumps Scotty but gets caught in the Cobra Clutch. That’s broken up as Slaughter tosses Skinner, only to get dumped by IRS for the win.

Rating: C. This was more or less the poor man’s version of the Gimmick Battle Royal and that is not a bad thing. Again, this was all about the wrestlers having one more moment and the winner wasn’t important in the slightest. Just let the fans have some fun with the “oh I remember him” moments.

Hold on though because here is Ted DiBiase….who pays off IRS to eliminate himself and give DiBiase the win. That’s always great.

People have been slapped over the years.

Here is Eric Bischoff to talk about how things keep changing but always stay the same. At the end of the day, he is here to take your money and people like the McMahons need him to reinvent the business. So now give him a round of applause! Or have Chris Jericho interrupt, and Bischoff knows this isn’t good.

Bischoff: “Didn’t I fire you in this ring a couple of years ago?” Jericho remembers being fired but he thanks Bischoff for reigniting a fire in him. That’s why he’ll be the new WWE Champion on Sunday, which has Bischoff laughing. Jericho laughs at Bischoff for being fat and going bald but Bischoff suggests Jericho just forfeit the match to Orton right now. After some rhyming, Jericho knocks him down and takes out Randy Orton for trying to interfere. This felt like the “oh yeah we should do something about that match” segment.

Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Rhodes and Holly are challenging and Dusty Rhodes is on commentary in case you needed a hint about the result. Dusty is very excited (believe it or not) as Cody starts with Murdoch, who slams him down for an elbow drop. Cade misses an elbow of his own though and the hot tag brings in Holly to clean house. The dropkick hits Murdoch and Cade hits him by mistake to make it worse. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin and the titles. Nothing wrong with a title change to make a show like this feel special, especially with Dusty there too.

Celebrities have been on Raw over the years.

Video on the Divas over the years, which has been up and down to put it mildly.

Here is Jillian Hall, who has a Christmas album out. She starts singing the 12 Days Of Christmas but Trish Stratus interrupts. Trish doesn’t like Jillian’s singing but Jillian doesn’t like Trish’s ego. Cue Lita for the staredown with Trish but they team up in hatred of music. Those two deserve a quick moment on this kind of a show and this was good.

Also on Raw over the years: comedy hijinks! Oftentimes minus the comedy, but Edge and Christian on the kazoos continue to reek of awesomeness. Thankfully Mick Foley getting the Rock with an IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK and taking a lap around the ring is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

And now, weddings! They are quite the tradition and they still work, at least most of the time.

Lita watches the wedding video when Kane comes up to her. Awkwardness ensues, with Kane asking if she’s seen any good movies lately and Lita asking about the weather. Ron Simmons gets his cameo.

Armageddon rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Marty Jannetty

Marty goes after the arm to start but Kennedy kicks the knee out and grabs a half crab. Back up and an enziguri gets Marty out of trouble, allowing him to hammer away for two. The right hands in the corner are countered with Kennedy’s atomic drop but Marty is back with the Rocker Dropper. Kennedy breaks up the top rope fist drop though and the Mic Drop gives him the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here that ties into something that happened last week. Marty wasn’t bad, but what are you supposed to get out of a four minute match that didn’t have a ton of drama? Not an awful match or anything close to it, but Marty felt like a relic from the past instead of a threat.

Post match Kennedy stays on Marty but Shawn Michaels runs in Kennedy gets on him too, drawing out HHH for the save and (another) DX reunion.

Here is Vince McMahon to name the Greatest Superstar In Raw History. There are maybe three realistic options for that pick, but Vince announces……HIMSELF as the winner. Cue Mankind for the Mandible Claw to leave Vince laying for a nice reaction. Then the lights go out and a gong strikes, meaning it’s the Undertaker (coming to the ring…..slowly…..methodically…..at his own pace) for a chokeslam. As you might imagine, with Vince down and mostly done, the glass shatters and here’s Steve Austin, who still seems rather popular.

Austin thinks fifteen years of Raw is impressive and deserves a toast so he’ll drink to that. Vince needs to get up, but Austin lays down next to him for the toast, only to realize that this isn’t going to work. Austin gets him up and Vince tries to drink, only to get cut off by the Stunner.

With Vince done, Austin says the card Vince had didn’t matter, because the greatest star in the history of Raw is the fans. It doesn’t matter if you’re at home watching on TV or in this arena in the cheap seats or front row, you’re the reason this show has worked for so long. Austin calls out the locker room for a beer bash (William Regal and CM Punk seem to have something else in hand) and one more punch to Vince wraps us up, as only it could.

Overall Rating: A. This is a great example of a show that was not about the wrestling whatsoever and that is not a bad thing. This show was all about nostalgia, with Armageddon being something that was kind of in the background. I had a blast with the nostalgia between the clips and the appearances, and the big ending at the end was great. WWE knows how to do reunion shows well and this is one of the better ones they’ve ever done.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 3, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Johnny Polo

It’s a new year as we’re getting close to the start of the second year of Raw. We’re also getting close to the 1994 Royal Rumble and that means we’re still in the fallout of the Lex Express. It also means we’re seeing the upgraded Bret Hart rising to the top of the company and that’s a very, very good thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with Undertaker building a casket which Paul Bearer says is for Yokozuna. Undertaker’s New Year’s Resolution is to make Yokozuna rest in peace.

On Wrestling Challenge, Jim Cornette reveals that the title match he accidentally signed Yokozuna up for a casket match. As expected, Yokozuna is scared of caskets. Of note here: Stan Lane, as in Cornette’s old client in the Midnight Express, is the interviewer here.

Opening sequence.

Yokozuna vs. Dan Dubiel

For some reason Dubiel goes right after him and has exactly the same luck you would expect. A hard Rock Bottom sets up an even harder belly to belly with Polo absolutely loving this on commentary. The usual sets up the Banzai Drop with Yokozuna landing much higher than usual and nearly hitting the guy’s neck for the pin. That could have been very, very bad but Dubiel seems to be fine.

Rating: D+. The first thing here is how much better Polo is on commentary. He’s just so laid back and relaxed about everything and that’s all exactly what he should have been. It made for a very amusing exchange as he kept referring to Vince as Vic. Oh and the Banzai Drop looked TERRIFYING here, which is fine as long as the jobber was ok.

We look back at the Quebecers switching places and still losing to Lex Luger anyway. Polo took a steel forearm of his own.

Earlier today, Luger sat down with Vince for a chat. Luger is on fire at the moment but none of that matters if he doesn’t get to compete in the Royal Rumble. We’ll find out whether or not he gets to be involved in a week but the people have already given him a vote of confidence via a poll. Until the decision is made though, Jim Cornette and the rest of Yokozuna’s people can keep being worried about having to face even more competition. Lex gives Tunney and the people one last plea and we’re done in a hurry.

Sparky Plugg drives cars.

Smoking Gunns vs. Bastion Booger/Bam Bam Bigelow

My that’s a lot of B’s, plus Luna Vachon in the monsters’ corner. Bigelow throws Billy around to start but a dropkick puts him on the floor. It’s off to Bart for some arm cranking before Booger comes in, meaning Polo wants to know what’s up with the hump on his neck. The cowboys are sent outside and it’s time for an early break. Back with Booger getting shouldered down but he low bridges Bart….through the ropes because Bart didn’t get over the top for some reason.

Polo talks about Booger wanting to lose three pounds by the end of the year but there are several excuses, such as a dog running his running shoes or the TV at the gym being on the wrong channel. It’s off to Bigelow, who Polo says has made Barney and Betty proud since he broke up with Pebbles.

A legdrop gets two on Bart but he avoids a charge and makes the hot tag to Billy. Polo: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Luna is busy rubbing Booger’s hump (don’t ask) and a double backdrop gets two on Bigelow. Unfortunately for Bam Bam, Bastion kisses Luna and gets slapped for his efforts. Bigelow finally sees what’s going on and gets in a brawl with his partner for the countout.

Rating: F. Go back and read through some of what I wrote near the end of that match and try to figure out why I call this match a failure. There was nothing to this one and it was a great example of how horrible wrestling can get at times. I’m sure Vince found this hilarious in some twisted way and I’m going to leave it inside his head.

Todd Pettengill is in the Royal Rumble Control Center to explain the concept of the namesake match and list off twenty seven confirmed named. The other three will be announced over the weekend. The rest of the card gets some attention as well.

Next week: Raw’s First Anniversary!

Jeff Jarrett vs. John Chrystal

Jeff actually gets rolled up for two to start so he runs John over without much effort. A sunset flip gives John two more and it’s time for some right hands while the announcers talk about the pay per view. Chrystal gets in a weird powerslam for two more but a running DDT (not a great one either) gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: D. Who would have expected this to be so competitive? Again though Jarrett was hardly anything worth seeing but that’s the case with almost anything he did more often than not. The long blond hair didn’t help him much either but at least John seemed more than game here.

Last week, Polo beat Marty Jannetty with a little help from the Quebecers. Therefore, Jannetty and the 1-2-3 Kid come out to ask for a Tag Team Title shot against the Quebecers next week.

Razor Ramon doesn’t want us to smoke.

Shawn Michaels vs. Brian Walsh

Since this is going to be a squash, let’s take a phone call from Quebecer Jacques. Shawn takes him to the mat without breaking a sweat and it’s time to work on an armbar. Walsh bridges up from the mat and Shawn can’t break him down. A few rollups are good for two each on Shawn and Polo is freaking out. With nothing else working, Shawn throws him to the floor so Diesel can…..put him back inside. A bodyguard who does his job and nothing more? I don’t see much of a future for him in this business. We hit a chinlock on Brian so Johnny can talk about his ancestor Horatio Abercrombie Polo settling the island of Palm Beach. Walsh makes a comeback but misses a dropkick, setting up the superkick. A piledriver gives Shawn the pin.

Rating: D. This was similar to the previous match, making it a pair of slightly more competitive than usual squash matches. Polo continued to be the most entertaining part of the match but I’m not sure he’s enough to overcome an interview with Jacques. How could someone decide that was the best possible option here?

We run down the Anniversary Show card to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. Pretty standard show for the time and that’s not too surprising. As mentioned multiple times, Polo was the best part of the show and that’s a good thing, assuming he actually sticks around. Unfortunately I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a replacement sooner rather than later because it could mean some entertaining TV. It’s a bunch of bad wrestling around Polo though and that’s not going to work.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 1, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

It’s another fresh month as we’re getting closer to the Survivor Series. Unfortunately it’s late 1993 and that means we’re in for some very hit and miss shows but we’re also in for a confusing few weeks as the main event is sorted out. It’s a dark time for the creative direction of the company so let’s get this over with. Let’s get to it.

Bobby Heenan finds Bastion Booger eating a bunch of food. Heenan: “None of this food is….” Booger: “IT’S RAW!”

Opening sequence.

Bastion Booger vs. Razor Ramon

Non-title. Booger is just embarrassingly fat here. The toothpick throw gets us going and Razor easily puts him up against the ropes for a soft slap to the chest. We take an early break and come back with Booger getting two off a splash and Heenan admitting that it’s his birthday. For some reason this stuns Vince as Razor ties Booger in the ropes for a……belly rub?

They head outside with Booger actually hitting the splash against the post. A bearhug goes nowhere so Booger starts slowly hammering away. Booger gets two off a World’s Strongest Slam as Heenan suggests Bastion could use the title as a tray at his birthday party. Another bearhug just seems to annoy Razor so he gets out and slams the big man. The Razor’s Edge is laughable at best so Booger sits on Razor’s chest and gets sunset flipped to give Ramon the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but what else were you expecting from someone as worthless as Booger? He was huge, he wasn’t anything worth seeing in the ring and his gimmick was that he was fat and gross. Razor is an incredible talent but he can’t do anything with someone like that.

Here’s a Survivor Series report, including a preview of a boxing match between Riddick Bowe and Evander Holyfield II. After that cross promotion, we hear the current main event lineup: the All Americans (Lex Luger/Tatanka/Steiner Brothers) vs. the Foreign Fanatics (Yokozuna/Quebecers/Ludvig Borga) but this weekend, the Fanatics beat Tatanka down and cost him his first ever pinfall loss in about two years. Luger tried to make the save (and to high five fans while jogging down to help his partner) but was stopped by one of the Quebecers.

Back in the arena, the Foreign Fanatics are in the ring for a chat. Cornette keeps laughing about how “Tatanto” is out of the Survivor Series where it’s all about surviving. Jim goes on a rant about all the possibilities the Survivor Series could see before Quebecers’ manager Johnny Polo talks about a team of anthropologists coming up from Bora Bora to see this kind of stupidity in person.

Borga says Scott Steiner’s American dream will never come true next week when he takes Scott out personally. Cornette wraps it up by saying that just like in Ten Little Indians, there will be none at the end of Survivor Series. Heenan: “And they’re all coming to my birthday party!”

Mr. Perfect vs. The Executioner

Executioner is your standard masked man. Some chops have Executioner in trouble but he whips Perfect into the corner. That’s about it for the jobber offense though as Perfect avoids a corner charge and kicks him in the ribs. We hit a leg lock on Executioner, followed by a spinning toehold to slow things down even more. This goes on WAY too long with Perfect pulling on the leg as Heenan suggests that his birthday be made a national holiday. The PerfectPlex gives him the pin to finally wrap this up.

Rating: D. WAY too long here despite it not even being four minutes long. This was a bunch of waiting around while Perfect worked on the leg which went nowhere, only to have the PerfectPlex end it a few seconds later. I’m not sure what was up with Perfect here but it got really old in a hurry.

Jeff Jarrett is in Nashville and complains about the politics in country music holding him back. He’s sick of seeing Billy Ray Cyrus with his buggy whip arms getting so much exposure. Jeff is ready to face people like Razor Ramon, Men on a Mission and the 1-2-3 Kid. This gimmick was dead on sight and I think everyone knew it.

Well Dunn vs. Smoking Gunns

Well and Dunn have purple thongs over their black singlets. Normally I would say that would tell you everything you need to know about them, but their names are Well and Dunn. Billy jumps over Dunn to start and punches him to the face as Heenan says Harvey Wippleman will be at his birthday party.

Some armdrags put Well down and we hit the armbar as this dead show keeps going. A suplex/high cross body combo gets two but Well snaps Bart’s throat across the top rope to take over. We hit the chinlock on Bart to kill even more time before Well tags out to Dunn for another chinlock. Back up and the hot tag brings in Billy for a running clothesline. Harvey trips him up though…..and they actually end this on a DQ after over seven minutes.

Rating: D-. Well Dunn vs. the Smoking Gunns just went to a DQ in nearly eight minutes. This was one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a very long time and I have no idea who thought this was something that needed to air on national TV. Horrible stuff here that just kept going and made an awful show even worse.

Randy Savage calls in to say he’ll be back to take care of Crush. Heenan makes fun of Savage’s voice because he’s a bit insane.

Adam Bomb vs. Virgil

Your main event people. They stare at each other to start until Virgil gets two off a cross body (though it looked like Bomb was supposed to catch him). That means it’s time for Adam to have a meeting on the floor with Wippleman, who Virgil chases around for fun. Back in and Virgil dives over the top but somehow winds up under Bomb. They head inside again with Adam hitting him in the head and slowly working Virgil over, only to miss a charge in the corner. Virgil scores with a dropkick but his cross body bounces off Bomb in what looks like another botch. The Adam Smasher (powerbomb) puts Virgil away.

Rating: D+. Who would have guessed that Virgil vs. Adam Bomb would somehow be the match of the night? Virgil actually tried in this one and got in some good offense, but when your opponent can’t figure out how to take a cross body, there’s only so much you can do. Bomb would get MUCH better after turning face but this was a hard one to sit through.

Heenan starts singing Happy Birthday to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Holy sweet lederhosen this was a horrid show. The stuff for Survivor Series wasn’t bad but with this being the last episode of a TV taping, they basically threw whatever last talent they had out there to fill in some time. Just a dreadful show here, which really is the theme of this era.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Royal Rumble review with KB and NorCal, plus a Bastion Booger retrospective.

http://mightynorcal.podbean.com/e/wwp-38-royal-rumble-and-rumble-aftermath-review-with-kb/

Today we’re looking at a rather versatile guy named Mike Shaw.

Bastion, real name Mike Shaw, got started back in Canada around 1981. Here he is in Stampede in the early 1980s.

Jim Neidhart vs. Mike Shaw

This is joined in progress, as is almost always the case in Stampede. We’re about seven minutes in and Shaw sends Neidhart into the corner to start. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Neidhart fights up and sends Shaw into the corner to even things out. They stare at each other for a bit before getting down into three point stances. Neidhart wins with ease and punches Mike down before nailing a hard shot to the ribs. The referee calls it a low blow though and the match is over.

This is from some point in the mid 80s from Canada’s Atlantic Grand Prix Wrestling.

Rocky Delasara/Len Montana vs. Man Mountain Mike/Great Malumba

Shaw is a hillbilly named Man Mountain Mike and Malumba is a tribal guy. The ring is only about two and a half feet off the floor for a weird visual. Delasara starts with Mike and the big guy puts the jobber on the top. Mike easily overpowers Rocky (nicknamed the Italian Stallion) and it’s off to Malumba for a hard whip across the ring. Montana comes in as well and eats a quick shoulder for a slow motion fall.

The big guys keep control as it’s off to Shaw for a back elbow to the jaw. Len finally gets in a rake to the eyes to take over on Mike as the heels (I’m assuming) take over on the Mountain. That lasts all of five seconds before it’s Malumba coming back in to nail Delasara in the head. Rocky sends him into the corner though and take over for a few moments again.

Malumba uses the powers of a hard black head to survive for a bit before avoiding an elbow drop. Back to Mike to clean house with standard power man stuff, including a legdrop for two on Montana. A splash gets the same before it’s back to Malumba for a headbutt and the pin.

Rating: D+. This went on longer than it needed to but the point was made well enough. I liked the Malumba guy as he had good energy and enough of an offense to get him through the match. It’s always fun to check out random promotions like this as you never know what you’re going to find.

Here’s another match from Stampede in 1987/88 with Shaw as the evil Makhan Singh against North American Heavyweight Champion Owen Hart.

North American Heavyweight Title: Owen Hart vs. Makhan Singh

Hart is very banged up and we’re joined about eight minutes in with him nailing a back elbow to the jaw to take over. He chokes away as the announcers tell us this has been all Owen so far. Singh goes after the bad eye to take over and attacks it with a foreign object of some kind to cut the eye open. The ring announcer actually calls a doctor in to look at the eye as the match just stops.

Singh will have none of that and takes the bandage off to stay on the eye. He ties Owen in the Tree of Woe and stays on the eye as this is getting ugly. Singh actually gets a yellow card and the doctor stops the match. The referee will have none of that though as Hart comes back with a slam and goes up top, only to miss a splash. Keith Hart comes out to throw in the towel and the match is over, meaning Singh is champion.

Rating: C+. They nailed the emotion stuff here as the fans were entirely behind Hart who would never give up. Singh looked like a killer out there who would do anything to take the title, which made him winning all the better. These two traded the title several times so this wasn’t over yet.

It was off to WCW after this as Shaw became the insane Norman the Lunatic. Here he is at Clash of the Champions VII.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Mike Justice

Norman is a mental patient managed by Teddy Long and more famous as Bastion Booger in the WWF. He easily runs Mike over, crushes him in the corner and sits on his chest for the pin in less than a minute. Teddy holds up a set of keys, symbolizing Norman being locked up again, to calm him down and get Norman on a stretcher.

And again at Clash VIII in the best match Shaw ever had.

Flyin Brian vs. Norman the Lunatic

Brian Pillman comes out with the University of South Carolina cheerleaders and starts fast with a quick suplex on the nearly 400lb Norman. The springboard clothesline puts Norman down on the floor and Brian hits a nice dive off the top. Back inside and Brian goes after the keys that freak Norman out, causing Norman to jump him from behind. A middle rope splash gets two on Brian and Norman slaps his overly large stomach.

Brian rolls outside and gets crushed against the post but avoids a second charge to get a breather. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Norman on his back. Brian actually slams and backdrops Norman down, only to have his cross body get caught in a powerslam for two. Norman whips him in but Pillman comes back with a crucifix for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. This match wasn’t even four minutes long but had more action than matches four times that long. Brian looked awesome out there with his high flying and Norman looked FAR better than you would expect a guy of his size to be capable of. Absolutely awesome match with some great action.

Back to form at Clash X.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Kevin Sullivan

We get another vignette with Norman going to a zoo to count pigs for no apparent reason. There’s no background or history given for this match but I’d assume it’s because they’re both crazy. Sullivan jumps him to start and hammers away but Norman sends him into the post and sits on Kevin’s chest for two. Norman slams him off the top, only to miss a middle rope splash and change control. Sullivan takes him to the floor for a slam and a two count in a nice power display.

A knee to the head has Norman in trouble and Cornette is on fire on commentary. “Norman is so stupid that mind readers only charge him half price.” Norman starts beating on his own head before Sullivan starts pounding on it for him. Back inside and Norman chokes him out to the floor as they fight up the aisle.

Sullivan backdrops him on the ramp for two and they fight into the back. The fans are annoyed because they can’t see anything and they go into the women’s bathroom. This was a tradition of Sullivan’s brawls as I can think of at least three instances where this happened over his career. Sounds of violence are heard behind the door until Norman comes out holding a toilet seat and being declared the winner.

Rating: D+. The brawling wasn’t bad but the falls count anywhere stipulation was only there to set up the comedy ending. Norman wasn’t the best choice as a face as his in ring work was limited due to his size. Sullivan was stuck without anything to do at this point as he works better with a stable around him.

Here’s a better opponent at WrestleWar 1990.

Cactus Jack Manson vs. Norman the Lunatic

Yes it’s Mick Foley and no he doesn’t mean a thing yet. He’s pretty much just thrown onto the card here, much like Cuban Assassin was last time. Jack jumps him to start but gets thrown to the floor with ease. JR: “This will not be a battle of wits. It may be a battle of nitwits.” Also Jack’s favorite color is light black and wants to be the foreman of the Double Cross Ranch.

Jack rams Norman’s head into the buckle and Norman says do it again. A quick bearhug goes on Jack but he’s soon whipped over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. Headbutt knocks Jack off the apron but misses a charge into the post. Back in and Cactus rips at his face. Cactus pounds him down and it’s off to a chinlock. The electric chair drop puts Jack down but a splash misses. Jack tries a sunset flip but Norman drops onto him for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah it was bad but Foley of course would get a lot more going for him. Norman is more famous as Bastion Booger and a lot of other bad characters in WWF. Jack was clearly going to be a guy that bumped like mad, but at the end of the day what sets him apart is that he made people care about him as opposed to guys like say New Jack.

Then a six man at Capital Combat.

Road Warriors/Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan, Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman the Lunatic is more commonly known as Bastion Booger. This is a weird pairing of six guys if there has ever been one. Oliver Humperdink is here too as Bigelow’s manager and is bare-chested. This is just strange as all goodness on all levels and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. The LOD comes out on Harleys while Norman has to walk behind them. That sums up this match nicely.

How funny is it that of all these people, Cactus Jack was the most successful? Cactus is very young at this point and has nothing going for him. Norman is allegedly an escaped mental patient. That sums things up very well. Animal and the future four time world champion start us off. Animal is MOVING out there. He does two leap frogs and drops low at great speed. This is just weird to see but interesting I’d say.

Hawk vs. Bigelow. Oh dear. Bigelow is sleeveless here which is a strange look for him. This could set selling back a thousand years. Hawk gets the best dropkick he’s ever thrown, hitting Bam Bam square in the face. Sullivan comes in, looks at Hawk, and tags out. Instead he gets Norman. For him imagine Eugene meets Bigelow. See what I mean? In a painful looking spot, Hawk throws the (wooden) steps at Jack where they just bounce off his back while he’s bent over.

OW even if they’re fake. They all take their turns beating on Norman and Sullivan just looks completely out of place in this. Bigelow backdrops Norman. Imagine that one if you can. Norman hits a clothesline on Cactus and just falls on his back. That sums things up for him quite well I’d think. A big old brawl breaks out as Hawk hits the top rope clothesline on Sullivan for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but at the same time when the best technician is Kevin Sullivan, you’re in trouble. This was to get the crowd going though and I think it worked ok for what it was. That and I can’t imagine they expected this to be a great match or anything, so I’ll let it slide I guess.

Shaw would be repackaged into a truck driver named Trucker Norm. Here he is on WCW TV, October 27, 1990.

Trucker Norm vs. Keith Hart

Hart is billed from Tennessee for some reason and attacks Norm before the bell. That’s about the extent of his offense to start and Norm knocks him outside where manager the Juicer (as in Beetlejuice. Seriously, he was played by Art Barr.) throws powder in his face. Back in and a splash crushes Hart in the corner before Norm sits on him for the pin.

After a few years out of the spotlight, Shaw debuted in the WWF as Friar Ferguson. It’s exactly what it sounds like. From Raw, April 12, 1993.

Friar Ferguson vs. Chris Duffy

Duffy shoves the Friar, in full robes, around to start but the Friar easily backdrops him. A catapult sends Duffy out to the floor and the Friar pulls the robes up a bit to do a little dance. He splashes Duffy for two but pulls up off the cover. The fans say they want Bret as this beating just keeps going. We hit a lame nerve hold before Duffy tries a sunset flip, allowing the Friar to sit on him for the pin.

Rating: F. This was during the “let’s just throw out stupid gimmicks and wonder why no one cares” period which would be amplified in the coming years. The Ferguson gimmick was dropped almost immediately when some religious groups complain, and for once I can’t blame them. Not that I find it offensive, but man alive this was stupid.

Shaw would become his most famous character of Bastion Booger. We’ll pick things up on Raw, August 16, 1993.

Bastion Booger vs. Marty Jannetty

Booger is eating ice cream for some reason. Maybe because he’s hungry. For those of you that don’t remember, Bastion is a big fat guy that wears a diaper looking thing and eats anything. It was a very weird character that didn’t catch on and no one has any clue what the point of it was. The talk is mostly about Jannetty’s red, white and blue arm bands which brings on talk of Luger’s big Lex Express campaign.

Marty, for some reason that God alone knows, beats the living tar out of Bastion. He’s practically a jobber out there. It’s about a 3 minute match, not counting a commercial in between. For one of these minutes, we talk about Madonna’s birthday being today with random jokes about her. The commentary on here is filler.

Now I get the idea of having matches as fillers, but DANG man, I’ve never once heard of having commentary have to be nothing but filler as well. After Jannetty beats on him for a long time, we get back to the show and Jannetty goes for a sunset flip, Bastion stands there for a seconds, then starts waving his arms as he remembers to sell, but then Booger drops down with his finisher, but the referee just stops counting before the three to give Jannetty time to complete the move which gets the pin.

Rating: D. My goodness this made no sense. Marty is apparently being built up for his match at Summerslam with Ludvig Borga. They’re building up a jobber to be squashed by having him squash someone else? Good grief how low does that make Bastion? Literally, Booger had no offense at all and this was a waste of time.

We’ll wrap it up with “comedy” from Survivor Series 1993.

Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks

Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers

Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission

Ok. I can get through this. Four years ago I stopped watching this midway through but I’m going to get through it this time. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.

A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu (Rikishi) comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.

Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. Booger comes back in and sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.

Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.

Rating: Awe. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. There’s nothing else I can say about that and I’m not going to try.

Mike Shaw is a good example of a guy there they just tried too hard. He was by far his most effective as a monster like Singh but then he had so many gimmicks that made him look like a goof when he was more than capable of being a midcard monster. There weren’t many great or even good matches on his resume but he could have something watchable when he had the right opponent.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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