Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2012 Redo): Cena vs. The Machine

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

The main change here is that we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, with the latter defending against Angle and a crooked referee tonight. On top of that we’ve got Raw vs. Smackdown in a major Survivor Series match which actually feels kind of big for once. Other than that there’s HHH vs. Flair in a Last Man Standing match which should be good. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

This is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title, which would go on until January and saw Randy Orton wrestling four of the matches in Booker’s place. Benoit gets in Booker’s face in the corner and they tie up for a bit. Booker hits an awkward kind of slam but Benoit pops right back up. Benoit sends him to the floor and that goes absolutely nowhere. Back in and Chris takes him to the mat with a leg hold.

After Booker grabs a rope, it’s time for a test of strength with Booker (the heel here) kicking Benoit in the face to take over. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face. A suplex puts Booker down as does an elbow to the face. Booker hits a side slam for two and it’s off to an arm hold followed by an abdominal stretch. After Benoit escapes, Booker kicks his head off for two. This is moving somewhat slowly so far but it’s not bad.

Booker hits an arm trap neckbreker (like Sandow’s Terminus) for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Benoit escapes a vertical suplex and it’s time to roll some Germans, but Booker escapes the third and kicks Benoit in the face again. Another attempt at a kick is caught in a legdrag but the Sharpshooter that follows it up doesn’t quite work, giving Booker a cradle for two.

A snap suplex gets two for Chris and we roll some more Germans. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s distraction lets Booker load up a superplex. Benoit goes psycho though and headbutts Booker to the mat, but the Swan Dive misses, allowing Booker to get a rollup with Sharmell holding Booker’s feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two are awesome together and both series they had (they did this in WCW for the TV Title) were entertaining stuff. At the end of the day, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with throwing two people out there and letting them have a good match. This was a solid choice for an opener too as both guys got to show off and the fans were getting into it near the end.

Vince wishes Bischoff luck tonight and Montreal is referenced. Of course. Eric says he’ll screw Cena. Cena pops up and says “so Eric Bischoff screws guys. Good luck with that.” Vince then says to Cena, and I 100% quote, “keep it up my nigga.” Booker and Sharmell don’t seem pleased.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Trish is defending and Melina has MNM, the Smackdown tag champions, with him. This is interpromotional apparently. Melina and MNM had kidnapped Trish and held her captive until the match was agreed to. Well that’s one way to do it. Trish and her psycho fan (the brand new Mickie James) come out fast with Trish sending Melina to the floor and diving on all three members of MNM. Trish is looking great here.

Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.

As the brawl is going on, MNM tries the Snapshot (elevated double team DDT) on Trish, only to get caught and ejected. Things calm down a bit and Melina puts on a surfboard, which may or may not be an excuse to have Trish’s chest shoved out while wearing tight leather. Trish fights back but Stratusfaction is countered into a face plant for two, drawing the primal screams from Melina.

Stratus comes back with some forearms but runs into a boot in the corner. The Stratusphere puts Melina down and there’s a spinebuster of all things for two for Trish. Chick Kick and Stratusfaction miss and Trish is sent to the apron, but Mickie pulls her out of the way of a charging Melina. Trish goes up and misses about 95% of a top rope bulldog but it’s good enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.

Watch Jake’s DVD! It’s full of lies but watch it!

Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH came back from injury and turned on Flair in their first match together. They fought in a cage match at Taboo Tuesday with Flair somehow pulling out one of the biggest upsets of his career. Tonight it’s a rematch in a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. Oh and Flair is IC Champion but this is non-title. Like HHH would ever actively go after a midcard title. HHH jumps Flair as he comes to the ring and beats on him in the aisle for a bit before we head inside. It’s chair time very quickly but Flair pokes HHH in the ribs with a kendo stick to block the shot. They head into the crowd with Flair chopping HHH through the fans. He swings one time too many though and HHH backdrops him back to ringside.

A suplex puts Flair’s back on the concrete and draws some loud swearing. HHH suplexes him back into the ring and Flair is in trouble. Some quick punches don’t do much good for Flair and we head back to the outside. Flair gets posted, but if that’s not enough to cut him open, HHH carves up his forehead with a freaking SCREWDRIVER. There is blood everywhere in just a matter of seconds, so HHH digs it in even more back in the ring.

HHH takes him down and the knee drop misses by about eight inches. The shot of the second one is even worse and they slug it out in the corner. We head outside again and Flair sends him into the steps to give Flair a breather. Flair pokes HHH in the eye but HHH hits a spinebuster to take him right back down on the concrete. HHH talks trash on the mic and Flair is like “boy Jack Brisco’s tights were tougher than you” and he grabs HHH by the balls. Well when there’s nothing else I guess that’s all you can do. HHH blasts him with the mic to break the grip. I guess that’s Stephanie only territory.

Flair is set for a Pedigree through the announce table but he backdrops HHH through the other table, drawing our first count of the match. That gets a nine and HHH grabs another chair. Back in and HHH has Flair dead to rights but instead of swinging the chair, HHH pounds away with punches instead. HHH pounds away in the corner, so Flair kicks him low again, followed by a chair shot for five. Flair is like YUM and bites at the cut on HHH’s forehead. Flair is kind of a weird dude sometimes.

Ric wraps HHH’s balls around the post and does the same to the leg, which is a smart move in a last man standing match. Then he crushes the balls FOUR MORE TIMES. DUDE FOR THE LOVE OF STEPHANIE GIVE IT A BREAK! Back in and Flair chop blocks HHH, before biting the guy’s thigh. Flair is a pretty sick guy at times no? He goes back to the knee (with kicks this time instead of teeth) but the Figure Four is blocked twice, the second time having Flair knocked to the outside.

For the first time, Flair pulls out a weapon of his own and whacks the knee with a chair. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair is perfectly allowed to grab the ropes. HHH taps but it doesn’t mean anything here. That draws an 8 with a shaky call from the referee that HHH was up at one point. A double clothesline puts both guys down and HHH rolls to the floor. The Game throws in some steps and clocks Flair in the face with them. Flair needs to scream less. Sometimes you should just be stunned and dazed you know?

HHH charges with the steps again but Flair hits a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps face first. That only gets a nine so they slug it out. Flair sends him into the ropes but ducks his head like an idiot, allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree……which only gets eight. HHH Pedigrees him AGAIN, but Flair is up at 8 and flips off HHH. A THIRD Pedigree gets nine, so HHH “hits” (Get better directors already. This is ridiculous) him in the back with the sledgehammer to finally keep Flair down for ten.

Rating: B+. Bad direction and cuts aside, this was a very solid brawl. They beat the tar out of each other with Flair trying as hard as he could to have one last great moment, but not being evil enough anymore to hang with the new guy in HHH. This was good stuff and thankfully it more or less ended HHH and Flair’s time on camera together.

Flair is taken out on a stretcher.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.

Trish and Mickie do an online interview.

Orton gives Team Smackdown a pep talk but talks about Batista as the weak link. Batista shows up and the tune changes. He thinks that since he’s world champion, he should be leader. JBL says it should be him. Batista glares at him and JBL stammers a lot.

Here are Edge and Lita with something to say. Edge is Mr. MITB at this point but doesn’t have a match tonight. Edge talks about how his own talk show, called The Cutting Edge, is debuting soon. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk to Dmitri Young. Edge makes fun of the Tigers for not being able to win the World Series and calls everyone here fat. He makes fun of the Detroit sports teams and now they give Dmitri Young (“Come here Mark Henry. Oh wait…”) a live mic. Young talks about Edge’s balls and lists off all of Detroit’s titles before saying Edge has none. This took seven minutes somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Cena. Basically it’s “I’m Kurt Angle and therefore better than you. NOW LET ME SHOUT EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID AGAIN!” Cena is like bring it man and whatever rhymes with man!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Daivari, Angle’s crony, is the guest referee. The YOU SUCKS from the crowd are censored because of some Bischoff ruling. Daivari is rubbing Angle’s shoulders during the intros. Oh and Cena is defending. The champ is here….right on the mat with Angle working on the leg. Cena comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and some shoulder blocks to send Kurt to the floor. Daivari won’t let Cena go after Angle and Joey is way more excited about it than anyone else. Isn’t Daivari doing what a referee is supposed to do anyway?

Back in and Cena hits some elbows and a release fisherman’s suplex for no count from Daivari. Cena goes to yell at him and is immediately caught in the ankle lock. Cena finally gets to the rope but Daivari kicks his hand off. The hold is broken and Cena spinebusts Angle before slapping Daivari a few times. Angle won’t let Daivari DQ Cena, so Cena knocks them both to the floor.

Kurt gets all fired up and slams Cena into the steps and hits an overhead belly to belly on the outside. A second referee comes out as Daivari is still down. Daivari would be a wrestler one day, so how did he get so much better at being able to take punishment? I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, Cena puts on a reverse waistlock but Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Angle comes back with a knee lift and Cena is in trouble.

The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.

A low blow puts Cena down and Angle calls in another referee to count two on the Angle Slam. Angle superplexes Cena down for two but the moonsault misses. Cena loads up another FU but Angle grabs the referee to escape. An uppercut puts the referee down AGAIN and Kurt throws Daivari back in, who is apparently STILL out cold after about ten minutes, breaking Davey Boy Smith’s record from 1994. A Smackdown referee comes down but Angle yells at him, allowing Cena to DDT Daivari. Kurt comes in and walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C. This was WAY overbooked and Cena was in over his head with Angle, but it wasn’t bad or anything. Angle vs. Cena was supposed to be a huge feud but it never felt like anything all that special. Cena wasn’t ready for a real showdown with Angle yet but he would get a lot better over the next year or so though. The referee stuff was kind of stupid though, especially with Daivari being out cold for so long.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.

We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.

Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.

The Raw guys do the same thing.

We recap Raw vs. Smackdown. At a 3 hour special Raw called WWE Homecoming, there was going to be a Smackdown six man tag but Bischoff turned the lights out on them because he said they were inferior to Raw. This prompted a multiple PPV running feud where they kept invading each others’ shows, setting up a battle for supremacy here.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,

Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield

Show and Kane are tag champions, Batista is world champion but is injured due to Big Show and Kane attacking him over and over, and Lashley is undefeated at this point. This hasn’t been mentioned yet on the commentary for pretty obvious reasons, but Orton is replacing Eddie Guerrero who died about ten days before this. Shawn vs. Randy gets things going and it’s a very slow opening with both guys feeling the other out.

Orton gets thing going by slapping Shawn so Shawn literally slaps Orton down to the mat. Three times in about 30 seconds, Shawn takes Orton to the mat with a headlock, Orton grabs a headscissors to counter, and Shawn escapes. Randy charges into a boot in the corner but slams Shawn down to take over again. The match is starting slow but the bickering from the commentators is funny stuff, as they’re taking this rivalry personally.

Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.

Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.

A gorilla press drop puts Rey down again and here’s Kane who misses an elbow. Mysterio starts speeding things up and gets two off a standing moonsault. Kane comes up with a very easy counter by kicking a charging Rey in the face. Off to a bearhug as this is the longest segment of the match so far. Rey fights out of it and slides between Kane’s legs to make the tag to Batista.

Big Dave gets in some shots but the bandages all over his arm and chest are a target for Kane. Kane gets in a shot and everything breaks down, allowing Batista to hit a spinebuster on Kane for the elimination. Big Show chokeslams Batista for a very close two but Kane and Big Show double chokeslam Batista to put him out. JBL immediately tries the Clothesline on Show but gets grabbed by the throat. JBL kicks Show low, but gets caught jumping off the middle rope. That’s freaking SCARY power by Show. Show superkicks Orton down and LAUNCHES Rey into the corner.

Orton guillotines Show into the Clothesline from JBL who tags….Mysterio? The 619 sets up the RKO which sets up another Clothesline which sets up a seated senton from Rey for the elimination. Cool sequence here as the team all went after Show to get rid of him. Show would DESTROY Rey on a special Smackdown to get revenge. Shawn goes after JBL on the floor and gets thrown away in a fallaway slam.

To recap, it’s Mysterio, JBL and Orton vs. Shawn, Carlito and Masters. It’s Masters vs. Rey now with Masters getting two after sending Mysterio into the corner. Off to Carlito for a legdrop and chinlock for a few moments. Mysterio fights up and makes a blind tag to JBL who ENDS Carlito with a Clothesline to make it 3-2. Masters and JBL slug it out a bit but Rey tags himself in. JBL kicks Chris in the face to give his teammate an advantage, setting up a 619 and the springboard legdrop to take out Masters.

So it’s Shawn vs. Rey/Orton/JBL and Shawn is STILL down on the floor from the fallaway slam. Mysterio starts with Shawn and things go faster. Rey hits the 619 to send Shawn across the ring, but the West Coast Pop jumps right into the superkick ala Shelton Benjamin for the elimination. JBL comes in and tries the Clothesline but gets superkicked down AGAIN to make it Orton vs. Shawn. There were about fifteen seconds between the two pins.

The RKO and superkick both miss so Shawn dives on Orton on the floor to take him out. The fans want Taker who was promised to be here tonight. There are the forearm and superkick followed by some clotheslines. The top rope elbow hits Randy but Shawn can’t cover. JBL is still at ringside for some reason and he grabs a chair. Shawn loads up the superkick again but JBL shoves down the outside referee and misses a chair shot. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was a direct copy of Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff from two years ago, even down to the final participants, but the results were a bit inverted. Here, the part before the solo Shawn part was better but Shawn’s solo part wasn’t as good. Also, Batista running in was better than JBL’s chair stuff here. It’s still probably a better match overall, mainly due to the better opening part.

The low level Smackdown guys come out to put Orton on their shoulders…..and there’s a gong. We’ve got lights, we’ve got chanting, we’ve got druids carrying a casket, and a Dead Man coming out of said casket. Taker walks into the ring and beats up some jobbers as the roster bails. Orton is scared to death to end the show. Hell in a Cell for these two next month.

Overall Rating: B. This show is pretty much never talked about other than occasionally the main event and that’s a shame. This is an entertaining and solid show all around with the only bad match being a battle of the GM’s, and even that only runs six minutes. You have a bloodbath in HHH vs. Flair, a fun main event with entertaining commentary and some solid wrestling all around. Nothing is great, but if you’ve got two hours and forty five minutes to spare, check this out as it’s quality stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

Redo: C-

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B+

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

Redo: C

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (Original): When This Was New

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s all about brand supremacy here as the main event and the only match with a good build this year is Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. What does that actually gain us? Absolutely nothing, but it’s the best we can come up with so there we are. Continuing that theme we also have Teddy Long vs. Eric Bischoff. Oh that’s going to be awful isn’t it. In some real wrestling we have in the Raw main event John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Now we’re getting somewhere.

This was a weird time for the company as there’s just not a lot going on right now and they’re just kind of going through the motions. Cena and Batista are the top dogs on their respective shows but there’s just nothing that’s a spark for the company right now which is a trend that would continue for a few more years after this.

TNA is starting to get its footing but it’s far from a major deal in case you three TNA fans were wondering. That was random I know but this opening paragraph was way too short.

Don’t you just hate it when you run out of things to say and you just have to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing at all when it’s clear that the person talking is some moron that has nothing else to say but beating around the bush and trying to fill up space in a page because he’s not intelligent enough to have anything else to say about something he’s reviewing on a website like WrestleZone which should be about wrestling but isn’t always? Yeah I hate that too. Let’s do this.

There is one major thing that happened recently as Eddie Guerrero passed away two weeks before this show. I’ve always thought he was both overrated and gets far to much hype, but he was certainly a great talent and could wrestle with anyone and it was sad to lose him, especially when he was allegedly going to win the world title again before this show.

Again, the video is just painfully generic. It’s just a voiceover guy talking about survival and clips of the feuds. The only highlight is a single shot of taker who was returning tonight. Once we’re in the arena we find that it’s Styles on commentary which is a nice change of pace. Not saying he’s better or worse than Ross, but when you do so many of these in a row it’s nice to hear a different voice.

This was a time when for whatever reason we had three announcers for Raw which is of course overkill. Lawler either slips up or makes a sex joke by saying return your flight attendants to their upright positions. No one laughed but they didn’t react either so they either didn’t get it or didn’t notice.

They talk about how Raw will beat Smackdown which is fine. We go to the Spanish guys and then over to Cole and Tazz. For some reason this made me laugh. It was like the Spanish guys were just randomly thrown in there with no rhyme or reason. Stuff like that amuses me.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match 1 in a best of 7 series for the US Title which was vacant due to a double pin between these two. The series wound up being Benoit vs. Orton because Booker got hurt so once Orton won the last match Booker got the title because that makes perfect sense right? These two traded the title back and forth like four times in about eight months which was just kind of stupid but whatever.

The whole idea of a series is stupid as well for one simple reason: why should we care about the first few matches? These don’t mean anything and nothing is going to be decided here, so why should we watch? Sharmell gets her own entrance and she is just painful to listen to. Something feels different about this show from last year which is a good thing. It feels bigger I guess you could say.

We start with a weird looking spot where Booker tries for a slam but can’t do it and it turns into a half suplex half powerslam. That was just odd. They mention that the second match will be on Tuesday at the Smackdown Special. That show was a disgrace for two reasons. First of all it was just flat out awful from a wrestling standpoint.

Second, there was a big spot where Eddie’s lowrider was blown with I think Big Show in it. This was sixteen days after Eddie died. Seriously? If you just have to use that for an angle, wait awhile would you?

Booker does some sweet looking stuff to get out of a test of strength. His in ring stuff really is overlooked. Booker gets an abdominal stretch and Benoit starts shaking his hips for some reason which looks very odd indeed. Benoit is getting dominated for the most part here, which is fine because he’s great at selling.

I’ll never get the point in announcers mentioning necks being surgically repaired. Wouldn’t that imply that they’re stronger than before? Are we really supposed to believe that a wrestler’s neck is still that weak even a year or so after they came back from the injury? Benoit gets a short comeback with one of those awesome Germans but Booker takes him down with a kick that was sweet looking. This has been a solid match.

Booker gets caught in an insane looking leg drag but avoids the Sharpshooter. After the triple Germans, Benoit goes for the headbutt but Booker stops him on the top. In a sequence that is very short but that I like, Benoit knocks him back down and goes for the headbutt anyway. See, while it seems pointless, it adds a bit more action to the match and got the fans into it just a tiny bit more. That’s what makes a match even better: adding that little extra bit.

Benoit could have just come off with the heabutt and missed to set up the finish, but instead we get an extra ten to fifteen seconds of action which got the crowd going a bit more. The more you can draw the fans in, the better the match is going to seem. If a match is weak (this one isn’t) that can be covered up by the crowd being into it. If a match is good (like this one) the crowd being into it means that the thing is a success on both levels.

Anyway, Benoit misses the headbutt and Booker gets a roll up with his feet on the bottom rope for the pin. Now wait a minute. How would the bottom rope help you? Isn’t the point of using the ropes to add more leverage to the pin by making you have to shove up a slope? With the bottom rope it’s just balanced out evenly.

Why am I wasting my time thinking about this? That ending was kind of weak but whatever. To further the stupidity, Sharmell grabs his feet and pulls down. Wouldn’t that pull Booker away from Benoit?

Rating: B. This was very solid. It’s not great but it’s very good. It was intense throughout other than the submission holds in the middle and it had time to develop. I’m not wild on the ending, but other than that I had no problems here. These two can work very well together when given the time as they were here, so who am I to complain? This was good but can someone shoot Sharmell for me please?

Bischoff is in the back warming up and Vince walks up. He wishes him luck and Bischoff says tonight he’s going to screw Cena, thereby making it about as obvious as possible that Cena will retain. Why do they insist on making so many Montreal references? They did it in WCW and the company died because they couldn’t let it go. Even after the mess that was Starrcade 97 they did it over and over again and it just never worked at all.

Also, they tried so hard to make Cena vs. Bischoff the next Austin vs. McMahon and it just failed. Actually failed isn’t the right word. It just didn’t live up to what it was supposed to be, which is fine because they’re inferior talents to what came before them. Also, since it had been done already there was no real reason to think this would be better which aren’t Cena and Bischoff’s faults at all. Anyway, Cena walks up and makes a gay joke to get Bischoff to leave.

Vince and Cena talk for a bit which when you think about it isn’t a pairing you see together that often. Vince actually says what’s up my nigger to Cena. WOW. Even Cena looks taken aback by this as do Booker and Sharmell. That was just out there to say the least.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Melina is part of MNM here along with Mercury and Nitro (now known as John Morrison). They’re the Smackdown tag champions and did the thing where they hung the belts from their belts so they hung between their legs. That’s original at least. This is inter promotional so Tazz and Styles are the commentators. ECW would be back in June with these two being the commentators.

Despite the fact that Melina looks better with all black hair instead of the blonde she has going here, she looks good in her signature entrance. Melina had MNM kidnap Trish on Raw so she could ask for a title shot because that makes perfect sense. Melina more or less is wrestling in a tiny bikini so this match has gone up in ratings for me. Mickie James, the newcomer, is with Trish.

Very soon she would go into the sexy crazy stalker mode with Trish, leading to her heel turn which was awesome. Trish starts with a spear and some punches that land squarely on the mat. Melina hits the floor but Trish hits a cross body from the top to the floor to take out all three heels. When did Lita get bigger and dye her hair red? Melina is a complete rookie here. Wow has she really been around for four years?

They botch a spot but if nothing else they make it work. It was supposed to be a headscissors but it turned into a kick to the face. It still worked though. Joey says Trish wins on paper. Tazz wants to see the paper. That’s actually kind of funny. Melina and Mickie fight on the floor while MNM goes for the Snapshot which was an elevated DDT on Trish. They get ejected for it though so that sucks. The belts are just making me laugh. This is intense if nothing else.

DANG Melina can hit the high notes. This is a quite good match actually. Melina actually counters Stratusfaction twice which isn’t bad. Mickie interferes to help Trish, leading to a kick and a top rope bulldog that missed but again they improvise slightly with Trish grabbing Melina’s hair on the way down.

It looked bad but it could have been worse, but it ends the match. On the replay they do a great job of covering the botch at the end by showing it from the back where you can’t tell how bad it was. That’s well done.

Rating: B. This was quite good. They beat the heck out of each other and on the two noticeable botches they improvised, especially the earlier one. Melina was clearly talented and not just another pretty face that thought she would try wrestling for a paycheck. Trish was her usual solid self here, so I have few complaints.

It was one of the better Diva matches that I can remember so that’s a perk. The looks didn’t hurt things either. This is what the Divas need to shoot for: hot women but good wrestling to back it up. I’d watch more of this.

Buy this PPV of the DVD of Jake Roberts.

We recap HHH vs. Flair which was a good feud I thought. More or less HHH decided that Flair was too far gone to mean anything anymore so he beat him up. Flair wound up winning the Intercontinental Title of all things which I actually liked as it made the belt seem prestigious. They had a cage match at Taboo Tuesday for the belt and Flair won clean in a great old school style match. That leads us to here which is last man standing.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Like I said Flair is IC champion here but it’s non title. Trips jumps him in the aisle to start us off. Flair is beaten on pretty badly at first since his robs is still on. He comes back though as the old man powers will never die. They haven’t actually been in the ring at this point. Scratch that they have but it was for about twenty seconds. I’ll give Flair this: he can sell as well as anyone in history even at this age.

That’s why he was so great for so long: he could tell a story as well as anyone in the world. HHH works over his back which is fine. He needs to lose the mustache though. It just flat out doesn’t work on him. We go hardcore as HHH pulls out a screwdriver. Dang Flair is bleeding badly. Granted I think that happens is someone stares at him for more than four seconds. Has anyone been in as many last man standing matches as HHH?

He’s been in a ton of them over the years with at least three that I can remember against Orton alone. I’ve always loved that red blonde hair on Flair. They finally mention that it’s HHH’s lifelong goal to break Flair’s record, which depending on what you look at should be around 22 or 23. If TNA has their way Angle will pass that in about a week. Edge is likely going to get close to it as well, but I’d take almost any of Flair’s runs over any two or three of Edge’s combined.

They’re out on the floor again with Flair finally taking some control. I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here, which should be fine. Coach offers commentary simply saying what number the referee is up to. Good to see why he’s paid the big money. HHH gets on the mic because three commentators in one match just aren’t enough. He yells at Flair to get up and in the next breath says to stay down if he knows what’s good for him.

No wonder Flair never would retire. He was too confused from hanging out with HHH all those years. Flair grabs the ball of HHH for no apparent reason. Is he competing with Stephanie or something now? HHH gets control back because I guess he likes being the dominant one.

I’ll be pausing for a few seconds here to get the image of a submissive Stephanie out of my mind. Ok I think I’m good now. We hit the tables and HHH gets countered through the table as he always is. Both guys are more or less dead at this point. The table practically exploded too and it looked great. Both guys are up though and we keep going.

We’re back in the ring for likely the longest stretch of the match which is a nice change of pace. For some reason we have to get another replay of HHH going through the table. We get it already people. A chair comes into play and both men are down, or at least that’s what Styles says. Call me cracy, but Flair looks up to me. Flair continues making sense by going for the legs. He pulls the balls of HHH into the post as he seems slightly obsessed with them.

Lawler mentions that he hopes HHH isn’t planning on going out tonight. I certainly wouldn’t. If I had a wife like Stephanie I wouldn’t be going to work either so there we are. Flair bites HHH for the second time in the match, this time on the leg. Style infers that the biting could mess up the quad again. Oh come on now. Flair goes to town on the legs in a very slow old school style plus weapons. That’s not a bad idea actually.

The figure four makes HHH tap but it means nothing here. I love how he’ll give up in a match where it means nothing, but that’s a different story. They’re both back up now with HHH knocking Flair back down. HHH brings the steps in and for some reason that only Flair knows, he runs right at HHH and rams his head into the steps. That’s just stupid. This time HHH runs and Flair hits a drop toe hold to slam HHH into the steps. This is like a cartoon or something.

I know there’s not a lot being said here but a lot of this is either one or both guys laying there for a ten count which somehow takes about 30 seconds each. HHH gets a Pedigree to a big pop which means either the people are tired of this match or they like HHH. My guess is the former, because HHH is such a masterful heel that no one can hate him. I mean he’s the best of all time at everything right?

Flair of course gets up and takes another Pedigree but of course he gets up, this time throwing out a double bird to HHH. This just gets him beaten up more so he’s obviously the face. You very rarely see a heel being defiant and getting his beating because of it. The third Pedigree connects as this is complete overkill.

We get it: Flair is tough. There’s no need to kill the credibility of the Pedigree to prove this. A sledgehammer shot to I think the shoulder or something like that ends this. The fans are actually into this which is a good sign. I guess the reactions earlier on were for greatness, even though this wasn’t that great. It was good, but not great.

Rating: B-. This was very old school in nature so if you don’t like slower paced stuff, you’ll hate this. Both guys bring in a lot of psychology here which is exactly what they were supposed to do. The leg stuff worked quite well despite HHH not selling them at all at the end of the match. This was good at times but there were parts that just kind of sucked too.

The three Pedigrees were WAY too much and the fact that it took nearly half an hour to get rid of Flair is a bit of a stretch despite how great Flair is. Some people would love this while others will hate it, which to me is a good thing. It means that it’s not just a run of the mill match but rather something that gets an opinion out of people, which to me is always good.

After about three minutes of replays we see Flair being stretchered out of the arena.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD, which was quite good actually.

Team Smackdown says they have to make up for Batista’s injury while Bradshaw sounds stupid. This was a waste of three minutes of my life.

Edge and Lita come out to say that the Cutting Edge will be debuting soon. He was hurt at the moment so this was their way to keep him on camera which really is a great idea. Edge goes after Dmitri Young who is a hometown baseball guy in the front row. He and Lita insult Young for about five minutes with nothing of note to say about it. Yep, that was a waste of time.

We recap Kurt vs. Cena which was something like this: Angle wants a title show and has his own referee that’s going to cheat to make him win. That’s all you’ve got to know here.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

This both has the big match feeling and doesn’t have it. I’m leaning towards no because of the spinner belt and Daivari as the referee. Angle looks far better in the darker colored singlet. The same can be said of Cena if you change the word singlet for long shorts. Angle naturally immediately starts on the leg as we have LOUD dueling chants. They’re out of sync though so it takes a trained ear to get what’s being said.

It’s nice hearing Styles speaking with an interest in the product. Ross and Lawler rarely sounded interested in matches and while Styles isn’t as great as he’s built up to be by any means, he’s awesome at times. Dang we’ve been going for about three minutes and those chants literally haven’t stopped. They’re quieting a bit but by no means are they stopping. If this was in front of a Wrestlemania sized crowd with these kinds of fans….good night that would be amazing.

These two could main event a Mania as well, and given Angle it’s not completely out of the question to have that happen. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Cena gets a cover and Daivari just stands there and we have a story. Ankle lock is hooked, finally called the Angle Lock like it should have been many times before, and the referee is all over it. He finally gets the ropes and of course the hold isn’t broken.

He gets out himself and slaps the referee (I’ll be referring to him as that because Daivari requires that I think as I type) and Angle makes the diving save to stop the disqualification. Oh for those fans that might be new, Daivari is now known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in TNA. The referee gets bumped by Cena and we go to the floor. Angle pops his hips on a sweet belly to belly overhead suplex to Cena. That was always an awesome move.

A real referee comes down and we now have a far more normal match. They go to the mat for awhile and it occurs to me that Angle can get away with far more boring moves on the mat such as just basic grapples because of his background. When he uses something like a front facelock I buy it a lot more because he’s an Olympian. That just goes to show you what a real background can do for someone. Cena can do a great job of fighting back.

There’s just something about him that makes you want to watch him which is something that very few people can accomplish. There go those chants again. Cena starts the comeback as I’m starting to wonder where Daivari is. He didn’t get hit by anything huge. Cena just knocked Angle into him and he’s been down at least five minutes. Angle apparently needs glasses because he can’t see Cena. Man maybe he really does as he clotheslines the heck out of the referee and low blows Cena.

A third referee comes out and for some reason has NO problem with Angle laying out his colleague. Now wait a minute. As they mentioned earlier, it’s standard operating procedure for a new referee to run out in case the regular one gets knocked out. That means that someone, and I’d assume the referee that ran down, has to be watching the match in the back right? If not how would he know that he was needed in the ring? If that’s the case, why couldn’t he disqualify Angle?

This is what overbooking a match does to it: it brings up a lot of loopholes that aren’t needed. After a few minutes of good stuff, Angle misses a picture perfect moonsault. I mean that was lucha libre quality. Angle gets out of the FU and then hits the third referee and rolls Daivari, who is still out cold, back in.

A fourth referee, this one from Smackdown, comes out as Cena DDTs Daivari for no apparent reason as he was already out cold. With four people laying in the ring (Cena and three referees), Cena plays possum and Angle walks into the FU for the pin. I want more of this!

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a situation where the extra booking was 100% not needed. I was completely buying into this match which is something that very rarely happens to me. There’s a natural connection here that is very clear and it worked incredibly well. I don’t get why there needed to be the gimmick with the referees and things like that. A lot of the times less is more and this is certainly one of those times. I’d love to see these guys go at it even more.

Watch this really bad show that we’re calling a special!

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Eric is of course dressed in his karate stuff, because anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Eric Bischoff is a great fighter. I will never get over Schiavone saying that at Starrcade 97. Teddy is with Palmer Cannon, who was a very short term character that was a representative of the network. He served absolutely zero purpose and I’ve never been sure what the point of having him was.

Granted to be fair I missed about a year and a half of Smackdown due to not having the station and just not being interested in it. I would always catch the spoilers though so I at least knew what was going on. The words to describe how I feel going into this match haven’t been invented yet. No good can come from this at all. It’s like the book in Hocus Pocus. To top it off, Cole and Coach are your commentators. I just had to stop the video for the sake of laughter.

Coach: “Eric Bischoff is a mixed martial artist.” I don’t care or know if that’s true or not but it’s the funniest image I can think of. Can you imagine him against Brock or GSP? Cole starts the Did You Know tradition with a stat that I’m not going to remember in a few seconds. Yep it’s gone. The bell rang 45 seconds ago. In that time they’ve avoided contact with each other, Teddy has posed on the ropes and then he danced a bit. This is riveting stuff!

Cole calls Bischoff Mr. Miyagi. The one liners for this match are going to take up a full page. After about a minute and a half I think we made contact but I’m not sure. Teddy dances more than Shawn Michaels imitating Shane. Cannon gets on the apron for no apparent reason and imitates the things that Long has been doing as Bischoff chokes Long with his belt. Why am I watching this? Oh there’s two referees, one from Raw one from Smackdown because this needs more people.

We have our second boring chant as we’re still doing the choking thing. Bischoff changes the pace a bit by using the world’s worst sleeper. Cannon gets up again and Long uses the distraction of both referees (since a guy named Palmer Cannon is obviously a major threat) to take his shoe off and hit Eric with it to break up the “hold”. Wouldn’t the shoe be legal? It’s not a foreign object unless it was made in Japan or something like that so I don’t get it.

Eric takes over again with a Kung Fu YEAH and a Karate Chop! Give me a break I have to make jokes like those to keep myself awake during this mess. We’re on boring chant number four and the Boogeyman’s music hits. He had only been around for a few weeks at this point and nothing was known about him.

The referees go up the ramp to stop him and naturally he’s behind Eric. I love how a guy like Boogeyman used a freaking pumphandle slam. Papa Shango used a shoulderbreak. I’m not sure which is dumber. Teddy gets the pin with ease and dances a bit more. He really is a tiny man. Ok so he dances a lot.

Rating: O, as in oh I can’t think about this anymore. Give me anything else please!

Armageddon proimo.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring as the Smackdown guys cheer them on. The Raw guys do the same thing. The backstory here is simple. There was a special called WWE Homecoming where there was a Smackdown match scheduled but Bischoff canceled it because it wasn’t up to his standards. The feud sprang from there. Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that Eddie has just passed away and Orton is his replacement and Batista was injured by Show and Kane.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show
Smackdown: Batista, Rey Mysterio, Lashley, Randy Orton, JBL

All ten guys get their own entrances because we need to kill about ten minutes or so. To further the stupidity of this we’re having all five commentators here. HBK and Orton start us off. On both shows everyone has been attacking everyone so I’ll be withholding the so and so attacked so and so on so and so show. Even Styles and Tazz are arguing. They point out that Orton has been the sole survivor in the previous two Survivor Series.

Again, this is what announcers are supposed to do. Rey just looks out of place on the apron with all of these big guys. Orton and HBK do nothing but punch/chop each other for a few minutes as Tazz and the rest of the announcers have their stupid fights. For some reason Chris Masters is in the main event here in something that I just don’t get. Lashley comes in and gets a great pop. Lashley is about as green as possible here with next to zero experience.

He has the amateur background to fall back on though along with insane power so he can use both of those to avoid any actual wrestling. Is there a reason why amateur guys use a ton of suplexes? Angle, Lesnar and the Steiners were all suplex machines as well as all American wrestlers. Why is that? They all use belly to belly overhead suplexes. I’ve never gotten that. Is that supposed to be something that’s used in amateur wrestling, because I’ve never seen that done in the Olympics.

After he dominates Carlito (he hit him with the Dominator so he literally did), he goes for it on Shawn but Kane grabs him from the apron and hits a chokeslam to allow HBK to pin him. I guess that’s a smart move as it keeps Lashley from looking weak because cheating beat him. That’s about as good as you could have done there I suppose. Rey comes in after Lashley as HBK is still in there.

Kane comes in for Raw and Rey of course dominates him because Kane can’t look good in a big match ever. Kane and Show are Raw tag champions at the time too which I forgot to mention. Kane just about kills Rey with a boot. That was awesome looking. Tazz is just ripping into Coach on commentary.

It’s funny but it’s distracting as all five guys are fighting and not a thing is being said about the match. I’ve always found that to be incredibly disrespectful. It shouldn’t be about the announcers but about the wrestlers, period.

Batista comes in and after more double teaming he takes out Kane with a spinebuster. He gets up and walks into a Big Show chokeslam which doesn’t take him out. The double one from Kane and Big Show does though so we’re down to 4-3. JBL comes in next and in a flat out SCARY show of strength, Big Show catches him coming off the top rope. That’s ridiculous.

Soon thereafter, the whole Smackdown team attacks Show, beginning with a Clothesline From JBL, a 619, an RKO (Massive pop for that), a second Clothesline From JBL and all of that doesn’t keep him down, but Rey jumps on him and that’s enough for a 3. This is why I hate Rey. He’s one of my all time favorites but at times he makes me want to rip my hair out. Why should that pin Big Show when he was almost up from all of those finishers?

That just doesn’t make any sense. JBL destroys his future employee on the floor while we try to figure out who Rey is supposed to be fighting and it’s Masters. Carlito comes in and slows down everything with a chinlock that goes on far too long. HBK is still down on the floor from the fall away slam that JBL hit him with. Rey finally gets up and makes a blind tag to JBL. With Rey distracting him, Bradshaw hits one of the best Clotheslines From JBL I’ve ever seen.

He half kills Carlito and gets the easy pin. He proceeds to beat the holy tar out of Masters, thus continuing to prove his worth. It’s Rey in now as HBK is still down meaning that the hopes of Raw rest on the shoulders of Chris Masters. I don’t even need to make fun of that one. Rey Drops the Dime on him and makes it 3-1. Styles has barely talked the whole match.

Shawn is thrown back in and Rey hits the 619. He goes for something that wasn’t clear but takes a less great looking version of the ending Shawn and Shelton did to take him out. Here comes JBL and there goes JBL with another kick. Bradshaw was in there less than ten seconds. We’re down to Orton and Michaels. We hit the floor but Shawn launches himself over the ropes as we’re doing the same thing we did back in 2003 which had far better drama and emotion to it but whatever.

The fans chant WE WANT TAKER who had been promised for the show and we have less than ten minutes to go. Shawn initiates his ending sequence to a rather weak pop if that’s what you want to call it. The elbow hits but gets two. JBL is still here and swings at Shawn with a chair. Michaels kicks it in him face but turns around to set up the RKO for the pin. The Smackdown locker room hits the ring and have Orton on their collective shoulders and there’s the inevitable gong.

This was the fall after Orton had feuded with Taker. It’s the expensive Taker return, complete with druids and a casket. A HUGE lightning bolt hits the casket which has been set up and it’s lit on fire. Taker eventually kicks it open as this is seeing vaguely familiar.

Cole then points out that Orton had Taker in a coffin and lit it on fire, which is the same story that was done seven years prior with Kane. I remember that angle and the first was light years better. Taker come to the ring and beats up the Smackdown jobbers before staring down Orton to end the show. They would have a Hell in a Cell match at Armageddon to end their feud.

Rating: B. This was good enough, but Masters and Carlito being there just didn’t work for me. Lashley was a rookie and the ending was a rip off of a far better one a few years earlier. Shawn was the only one on his team worth having so putting him in the end was the best idea. This show lost a lot with Eddie not being there and the week of buildup that they lost but that was an issue for the whole show.

The match was good, but the ending leaves a bit to be desired. Smackdown won, but so what? It means nothing really, and that’s where this match falls apart for me. The wrestling is good and it feels like a big match when you’re watching it, but at the end you realize that nothing happened at all.

Overall Rating: B. This was actually a really good show. When I’m giving the overall grade I go back and look at the card and the grades I gave them but that’s not the main thing I go on. This is a great example of why that’s the case. The matches individually other than the GM match were all very good with nothing at all not above watchable. However, there’s just something about this show that I can’t put my finger on. Something keeps this show from being great.

Maybe it’s the lack of build which wasn’t anything they could help due to Eddie, but it still takes away from the show. The wrestling here is great but the emotion isn’t there. Maybe their thoughts were on Eddie or something like that, but there’s just something missing from this show and it keeps it from being excellent. Certainly recommended, but that X factor isn’t there.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Monday Night Raw – June 6, 2005: The Past, The Present And The Future

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2005
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the start of the Draft and that is the kind of thing that can change a lot about the company in a hurry. The first Draft pick is going to be revealed on the Highlight Reel and that could make for some interesting interactions. Other than that we have the build towards HHH vs. Batista in the Cell and it’s also the go home show for One Night Stand. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff is very, very happy with the first Draft pick. It’s the biggest Draft pick ever but here’s Coach to warn him that Paul Heyman could be here tonight. Bischoff: “Who cares?”

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel as we’re starting fast. Jericho hypes up the new acquisition and says they’re going to have a hard time topping his debut six years ago. We’re not wasting any more time though because here’s the first pick: WWE Champion John Cena, officially making him the next big thing in the company. Both Jericho and Cena are happy to be “hurr” (their word) but Jericho brings up both titles being on the same show.

The last time that happened, Jericho beat them both in the same night. Jericho talks about how they’re both becoming media superstars, though he is a little bit above Cena. If Cena wants to be a big music star though, he might have to alienate some wrestling fans. That won’t be happening but Cena says if anyone wants some, come get some. Cue Christian and Tyson Tomko with the Canadian saying he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

The cheers Cena is getting reminds him of the cheers of another fraud in this town: Mark McGwire. Christian: “This is my show Cena, so go take a stroll. Canada in the house, cause that’s how I roll.” Cena makes fun of him for the old Brood offense (hey now that was awesome) and says Christian was sucking something other than blood. Tomko is Christian’s life partner but Cena can beat them both at once. That means a five second pose with a one fingered You Can’t See Me and it’s Cena and Jericho cleaning house. Get the tag match ready.

Intercontinental Title: Muhammad Hassan/Daivari vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is defending and this is the result of a threatened lawsuit from Hassan after Batista beat up Hassan and Daivari. Only Hassan can win the title here. Hassan takes Benjamin into the corner to start but gets powered out as the USA chants begin. Daivari gets draped over the top but the distraction lets Hassan get in a cheap shot. A nasty running knee to the face puts Hassan down but Daivari’s distraction sets up the Downward Spiral to give Hassan the pin. Hang on though as the foot is on the rope and we keep going after a break.

Back with Shelton fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a tackle for a double knockdown. The Samoan drop plants Hassan again but he’s up fast enough to save Daivari from a choke. Hassan sends him shoulder first into the post and it’s off to the armbar. Daivari comes in and stomps away for two before working on the other arm for a change. The comeback doesn’t seem that hard and there’s the Stinger Splash to Daivari. Hassan is sent outside and the exploder to Daivari retains the title.

Rating: D+. They went with the false finish a bit too early and it made the rest of the match feel a little dull as they weren’t going to have Shelton get pinned twice, even if the first one didn’t count. Hassan is fine for a challenger here, but I’m not sure how much it is going to help him to stick with the “they’re all against me” stuff.

We recap the setup to HHH vs. Batista in the Cell before their contract signing tonight.

William Regal comes up to see Tajiri in the back. Tajiri denies being involved with Paul Heyman and Regal forbids him from being involved with One Night Stand. Chris Benoit comes up and Regal blames him for confusing the poor lad Tajiri. Benoit talks about ECW’s place in history but Regal says it’s sad to see how far Benoit has fallen. Benoit says ECW gave him a chance when no one else would (I find that a little hard to believe.) so Regal tells Tajiri to pick a side. Tajiri: “ECW! ECW! ECW!”

Bischoff and Coach aren’t worried about ECW but here are Hassan and Daivari to complain about the INJUSTICE in the match. Bischoff says there will be a one man committee here next week to address Hassan’s issues in the ring: Steve Austin.

Chris Masters vs. Val Venis

Masters is already getting caught by the same problem that Hassan had at first: these feuds against low level opponents aren’t going to draw any interest and they come off as a waste of time more than anything else. Venis jumps him during his entrance and slugs away, including sending Masters into the buckle to start.

A half nelson slam gets two and they head to the floor, only to have Masters get in a pretty low kick to slow Venis down. Venis is fine enough for a rather delayed one off a fisherman’s suplex. The Blue Thunder Bomb and spinebuster get two each but Masters shoves him out of the corner in a big crash. The Masterlock goes on and after a quick fight, Venis is done.

Rating: D+. Venis was trying here (as he almost always was) but it’s 2005 and you’re only going to get so much interest out of a Val Venis match. It also doesn’t make Masters look very good to have to struggle against Venis, who beat him up for most of the match before getting caught at the end. That being said, the idea of Masters being in a big time match at the moment sounds rather disturbing.

Ric Flair gives HHH a pep talk before the contract signing. He needs encouragement for that?

It’s time for the contract signing with Bischoff running the show and the ring full of security. Before we get to that though, Bischoff dares Paul Heyman to show up here because ECW was a failure. Why was it a failure? It’s because it didn’t have something like the Cell or a star like HHH. After HHH comes out, Bischoff has a big announcement: should either HHH or Batista be drafted to Smackdown, the match still takes place. HHH doesn’t care about the Draft because no one is better than him on either show.

We get a highlight package of HHH inside the Cell, which I’m sure he just had laying around. With that out of the way and some more threats from HHH, here’s Batista to say HHH is done talking. He isn’t afraid of HHH or the Cell so HHH needs to be ready to pay for his sins. They both sign and HHH says that was Batista signing his own death warrant. Batista: “Good!” They’ll have to kill each other to win and it’s a tense face to face with more threats to wrap it up.

We look back at Cena’s debut.

Victoria/Heart Throbs vs. Hurricane/Rosey/Christy Hemme

Fallout from Victoria snapping on Christy last week and Stacy is out with Hurricane and company. Hurricane and Thomas start things off and it’s a suplex to give Hurricane an early two. Roselli comes in for a double Russian legsweep and a double suplex lets Roselli thrust the hips. For some reason that’s enough for a tag to Victoria so Christy has to come in as well. Hurricane kicks Victoria away and makes the tag anyway because they don’t know the rules all too well. The catfight is on and everything breaks down and it’s a DQ with Christy choking Victoria too much.

Rating: D. Yeah this was nothing, though Christy can certainly snap when she needs to. The problem is that she isn’t a wrestler and can’t do anything beyond the catfighting, which is understandable given how she got here. She is intense though and seems to be trying and I’ll take that over someone just showing up and looking desperate for their contract to expire.

Cena is in Bischoff’s office but won’t shake the boss’ hand. Bischoff gets straight to the point: next week it’s Cena/Jericho vs. Tomko/Christian. We get more gay jokes before Cena is offered a spot on the anti-ECW team. That isn’t Cena’s deal so Bischoff offers to have his back. Cena doesn’t play politics so Bischoff issues threats, meaning we hear about Raw vs. Nitro again (fair enough here as it’s just over four years ago). If Bischoff wants a friend, see one of the other Draft picks because you won’t see him.

Smackdown Rebound.

We look at Edge and Lita flushing Lita’s wedding ring last week.

Kane comes out for a match but here’s a smiling Edge instead. Edge has good news and bad news: Kane won’t be facing him tonight but he will be facing him at Vengeance. As for tonight, Edge has a better idea. Cue Lita, wearing what can only somewhat be described as a top. Lita is excited about going to Vengeance in Las Vegas and once Edge beats Kane, they’ll go get married at one of those all night wedding chapels. Kissing ensues and Kane is annoyed.

Sidenote: Kane would beat Simon Dean in a quick match during the break.

Sabu will be at One Night Stand.

Chris Benoit vs. Gene Snitsky

ECW Rules and Coach is on commentary. Benoit wastes no time in grabbing a trashcan lid to hammer Snitsky down and lets get some trashcans as well. Snitsky gets in a few shots of his own but has to trash can lid his way out of a Crossface attempt. The trashcans are wedged into the corner and a hard whip sends Benoit back first into both of them.

Snitsky stays on the back but misses a big boot to crotch himself on the top. It’s table time and the fans are rather pleased all over again. Some rolling German suplexes rock Snitsky again and it’s time to put him on the table. The Swan Dive is broken up though and a shot to the head puts Benoit outside. Cue the Dudleys (with Bubba in the old school glasses) for the first time in a long time for a 3D through the table and the no contest.

Rating: C-. This was better than I was expecting, which is both surprising due to it being Snitsky but not surprising due to it being Benoit. Snitsky worked the back for a few minutes until the storyline ending and that is better than what you get with almost any Snitsky match.

Post match the Dudleys run off through the crowd.

Post break Coach sends the cops to arrest the Dudleys in the back. Paul Heyman shows up and gets arrested too, despite being invited to the show. Heyman pesters Coach into saying he doesn’t want to drop the charges so the cuffs come off. After Heyman talks the Dudleys out of fighting the cops, a challenge is made for the Dudleys to come to the ring.

Here are Bischoff, Edge, Christian and Tomko to the ring in a hurry. Bischoff laughs off the idea of the Dudley Boyz being Heyman’s big weapon because they’re just overrated. He and his buddies are ready to take the Dudleys out tonight so Bischoff doesn’t even have to show up at One Night Stand. We hear about some Smackdown crusaders who are joining Bischoff and company to end ECW once and for all.

Bischoff calls Heyman out so here they are coming from the crowd. Heyman rants about Bischoff having all of the resources but it never connected with the audience like ECW did. ECW never backed down to anyone so the Dudleys get in the ring. Bischoff waves the lower card reinforcements down to the ring so Heyman points to the crowd and the ECW theme starts. Cue a bunch of ECW guys (Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks and Sandman) with Heyman sending the dogs after the Raw guys. ECW cleans house, including destroying Maven, to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There are a lot of ways to look at this show and it made it kind of a confusing watch. First of all, the Raw stuff going on isn’t all that good with Batista vs. HHH feeling like a match that we just have to get through so HHH can take a break when he decides to take a break. It’s annoying, but Raw has been “his” show for so long that I guess he needs it, or at least was able to convince someone that he does. I’m sure the match will be fine, but when we’ve seen it twice in two months, it’s a bit tiresome.

Then there is Cena coming over, which feels big now but is almost destined to be a game changer. Cena has jumped way up the ladder since Wrestlemania with that I Quit match being his big coming out party moment. WWE needs some fresh faces on the show and Cena is more versatile than Batista. Cena isn’t at Batista’s level of star power yet (though the gap has shrunk in a hurry) but the potential is there and he has a much bigger upside, meaning he belongs on Raw.

Finally there’s the ECW stuff and that feels fun. That’s the biggest thing that I get every time that the show is mentioned. I want to see how the thing goes and that’s because they have made it feel like a cool moment. Above all else it feels like a celebration of ECW rather than a blatant cash grab. I mean, it is a cash grab but don’t be so obvious about it. Anyway, the bad slightly outweighs the good, but brighter days are ahead.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 30, 2005: How Can We Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2005
Location: Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to One Night Stand and after last week, that is the most interesting thing on the show. At the same time though, we have to deal with a THIRD HHH vs. Batista World Title match on pay per view. Now some might have thought that two wins over HHH were enough, but the clear solution is to lock them inside the Cell. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Memorial Day tribute. Vince NEVER misses this thing.

Opening sequence.

Since it’s the unofficial start of Summer, we’ll start with Jerry Lawler running a Diva Swimsuit contest. We’ve got Christy, Candice Michelle, Maria, Victoria and Lillian Garcia for a pretty surprising entrant. Lillian gets to go first and Lawler is VERY surprised but here’s Viscera before she takes her towel off. Viscera likes the idea of her in the swimsuit so he carries her to the back, leaving us with the other four to compete instead.

They all go and Lawler picks Christy as the winner. That’s too much for Victoria, who beats the other three up in a heel turn. Lawler tries to intervene and gets kicked low hard, followed by the Widow’s Peak to Christy. I assure you this was in no way an excuse for women in swimsuits to bounce around.

Post break Victoria rants about being sick of Christy getting all of the attention when it should have been all about her.

Tag Team Titles: Heart Throbs vs. Hurricane/Rosey

The Throbs are challenging after beating William Regal and Tajiri in a Texas Tornado match on Heat. Hurricane gets double teamed to start but fights out of it pretty quickly as Lawler needs some ice. Or Stacy Keibler if she’s available. The beatdown is back on with Hurricane being sent into the corner as a STACY’S HOT chant begins. Romeo slugs away at Hurricane’s face but a reversed whip allows the hot tag to Rosey. Everything breaks down as Rosey cleans house, including going to the middle rope so Hurricane can hit a splash from his shoulders to retain.

Rating: D. Yeah Stacy isn’t exactly saving the team as this was little more than watching Hurricane get beaten up for a few minutes until Rosey came in to take over. The champs aren’t the most thrilling people to hold the titles but really, who else is there for the titles at the moment? This is a really low point in the belts’ history and it doesn’t look likely to get better anytime soon.

Here are some of the potential finalists in the Diva Search.

We look back at last week when HHH made his epic return after a week away, Ric Flair turned on Batista, and the Cell match was announced for Vengeance. Oh and Edge got pinned after being built up with the tournament for about a month, but we need to get back to Batista vs. HHH already.

A bandaged Batista isn’t happy that HHH isn’t here. The Cell is on though and he wants the contract signed next week. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come in and demand to know why HHH is getting another title shot after losing at Wrestlemania and Backlash. Well he’s fired. Anyway, Batista gets in Hassan’s face and offers to shut him up. Bischoff makes the match. Daivari rants and gets slapped.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Robert Conway vs. Sylvain Grenier

Shelton is defending. We get a La Resistance reunion so Shelton can get beaten down to start but Shelton Samoan drops Grenier without much effort. Conway takes over and the double teaming is back on, only to have the argument break out again. The fans want Jericho get but Shelton taking even more of a beating until Grenier is sent outside. A backbreaker gets two on Conway but Grenier is back in for the Hart Attack.

Cue the argument over the cover (take a shot) so Grenier knocks Conway outside. Benjamin knocks Conway outside to join him but Grenier is back up to block the springboard clothesline. That means another French fight with Conway’s neckbreaker getting two. The fans chant something I can’t understand (likely anti-French) until Shelton FINALLY saves us from this match that is actually taking place on Raw with a Stinger Splash to Conway. The spinwheel kick sets up the exploder to Grenier to retain the title.

Rating: D. This was longer than it needed to be and if they really think that having Conway vs. Grenier can keep the fans interested, they’re slipping into delusional territory. Shelton is in a weird place at the moment as he’s ready to move up to the main event scene but has to lose the title at some point. I’m not sure to whom, but it has to happen eventually.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel, with Jericho apologizing for almost being late but you should have seen the line at his autograph signing today. Anyway, next week is going to be a big deal as the first pick from Smackdown in the Draft will be his guest on the Highlight Reel. As for tonight, one of his guests is a monster with no remorse who takes great joy in the pain of others.

Enough about Lita though because here’s Kane. Jericho wants to know about Lita leaving Kane because that’s never happened to him before (Jericho: “In fact it’s usually the opposite.”). Is it because Kane’s equipment malfunctioned? That earns Jericho the hardest side stare I can remember so Jericho offers him some tissues, ice cream and a copy of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood so Kane can have a good cry.

Edge pops up on screen for a reminder that he has speared both Kane and Kane’s wife in the last few weeks. Remember those emergency phone calls Lita made to her sister in the middle of the night? They were to Edge. Lita comes in to say she has officially filed for divorce so there is no more dealing with Kane’s sweaty body or his dumb laugh. Oh and he’s like a fourth grader in the bedroom (not going near that one). For a bonus, Lita flushes her wedding ring.

Quick question: so Lita went from hating Kane to caring for him and apparently living with him to an affair with Edge in the course of six months? Isn’t that a bit more complicated than it needs to be? Was there a reason she was staying with him at night when she would sneak off to call Edge? Or sleeping with him at all? Maybe she is just nuts.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to complain about one Night Stand. If he hates ECW style matches, why did he approve a tables match between Chris Benoit and Edge tonight? It’s because he wants us to see that you can do ECW any night of the week (or perhaps just on Mondays). Therefore, here’s one of his generals for the ECW invasion.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Tables match with Bischoff on commentary. They slug it out in the corner to start as you can hear the gleam in Bischoff’s voice as he rips on ECW. Benoit snaps off a suplex and chops away some more to send Edge outside. The first table is loaded up but Benoit dives onto Edge as we take a break.

Back with Benoit taking over and going for the Sharpshooter as Lawler talks about an upcoming ECW magazine. Bischoff: “I would encourage no one to buy that!” The Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Edge goes for the table again, only to have it baseball slidden into his face. Benoit crotches Edge on the bottom rope and pulls on the legs a bit before suplexing him back inside.

Edge gets crotched on the top as well and it’s another baseball slide to take it outside again. A table is brought in but Lita moves it out of the way of as Benoit hits the superplex. The briefcase is brought in so Benoit hits a German suplex to send it flying. Lita breaks up the Swan Dive through the table so Bischoff sends down Maven and Tomko (what a pair) to fight Benoit. Snitsky runs out too and the four on one beatdown sets up a powerbomb through the table to give Edge the win.

Rating: C+. These two always work well together and they did it again here. They managed to cover a pair of stories at once here as Edge gets a boost after last week’s loss and also pushed the ECW show. That’s becoming the top story around here and it feels like it should be pretty cool. Having Bischoff and Vince (at least for a week) involved make it more important and that’s the attention it should get.

Just because it’s so important, here’s HHH’s return to attack Batista last week.

HHH joins us from WWE Studios to talk about how this is his company and Batista is just having some fun. Last week he beat Batista, so now the Animal can become more violent or more submissive. Batista was scared last week and that is the first step. The final step is inside the Cell, where HHH ends careers.

Ask Kevin Nash (wrestled another cage match later that year) or Mick Foley (wrestled in the main event of Wrestlemania about six weeks later). Batista should fear HHH instead of the Cell because HHH likes being inside there. HHH is taking a piece of him in the Cell, plus the title. This was more of your usual HHH trying to be epic and making it all about himself again, because that’s what Raw needs to be about.

Here’s Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge for $10,000 American (because Canadian money is worthless you see). This week, the challenge is for anyone in the locker room because he wants some real competition. Cue Val Venis to answer, which is cool with Masters. His roommate in college had all of Val’s movies, which Val seems to appreciate. They’re ready to go but Masters beats him up before putting on the Masterlock. Val almost breaks it but gets taken down anyway.

Here’s Christian for a chat. Christian is happy to be back in Canada but wants to talk about everyone who could be coming over from Smackdown. What they don’t have though is a Canadian, so maybe he should head over there. And that’s it.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Batista

Non-title. Hassan tries to jump him before the bell and gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. That’s enough to send Hassan outside so Batista sends him right back inside. This time Hassan gets in a kick to the head and a neckbreaker gets two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Batista slams him down for the breather. Batista gets in the spinebuster but has to deal with an invading Hassan, including a belt shot to bust him open. Stomping and choking in the corner are enough for the DQ to keep Hassan undefeated.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of booking themselves into something close to a corner but knowing how to get out of it. The DQ finish may be a bit annoying but it’s exactly the way to go here to keep everyone in good shape and make Batista look angry going into the Cell. It’s rather nice to see them showing some intelligence for a change, which you don’t get enough of today.

Post match Batista wrecks Hassan to bust him open as well. The Batista Bomb plants Daivari and Hassan gets one of his own. Batista poses over their bloodied bodies to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Egads this was bad and I’m not sure if there was one big thing that caused the whole thing. The HHH vs. Batista stuff sounds like something that is just happening because HHH demanded that it should and we don’t move on until he says we do. Other than that, the wrestling was mostly terrible and the only thing I want to see at the moment is the ECW invasion. They just need to fix something and find an interesting story already, but that isn’t going to matter as long as HHH won’t just go away for a bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 23, 2005: The Three Head Monsters

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 23, 2005
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to the next Raw pay per view now that Smackdown’s show is over, but not before a big time show tonight. This week will see Batista defend the World Title against Edge, who has been lit on fire with a now heel Lita and a win in the Gold Rush Tournament. Other than that, it’s time to start the build to Vengeance, which seems a long way off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We recap the Gold Rush Tournament finals with Lita turning on Kane to join Edge. I heartily approve of heel Lita, and JR’s line of “the dirty rotten bastard is going to wrestle for the World Title!” is pretty awesome.

Here are Edge and Lita, flanked by a bunch of security guard. Lita tells this room full of saints to go ahead and pass judgment on her. Women use their husbands like she did to Kane all the time, and can you really blame her? Maybe it started with the kidnapping, the forcing her into sex, being pregnant with his baby, the forced marriage and losing her baby? So yeah, she used her husband to get somewhere and all it took was a really gross wet kiss last week.

The fans start a pretty expected chant at her but she says don’t be jealous because she gets more action in a month than the rest of the crowd does in their entire lives. She never loved Kane (well duh) and while he was following her around like a puppy, she fell in love with a real man. Kane couldn’t satisfy her, just like any man she has ever been with. Well save for one, and that is the man she has been seeing behind Kane’s back for months now.

Edge knows everyone is jealous of them for how they look and what they do. He has the girl and tonight he’ll get the gold. Edge won at Wrestlemania, and tonight he claims his destiny by becoming World Heavyweight Champion. Bank on it. Kissing ensues and the fans care a bit. This worked as well as it could with a bad premise. There was no secret to the fact that Lita didn’t want to marry Kane in the first place and never loved him in the first place, so why should I be upset about what happened to him? He was so evil about six months ago and now he deserves sympathy? It doesn’t quite work that way.

Kane is rather….I guess the word is serious in the back.

Eric Bischoff is making funeral arrangements for ECW when Shelton Benjamin comes in. Chris Jericho isn’t here for their tag match so Bischoff turns it into a handicap match instead. They bring up the Draft, with both thinking John Cena would be a good addition. Benjamin thinks Bischoff going to Smackdown would be better. Eh, even if Bischoff goes to Smackdown, I can’t see him lasting that long over there.

Muhammad Hassan/Daivari vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton comes up swinging but gets punched down by Hassan. A blind tag brings in Daivari but Shelton sends Hassan outside and armbars Daivari without too much effort. The fans get behind Shelton, only to be cut off as Hassan gets in a trip from the floor. Hassan comes back in for a hard elbow to the face and the chinlock goes on. It’s back to Daivari, who spends too much time shouting and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Shelton faceplants Daivari and nails a running knee lift on Hassan. Daivari tries to bring in a chair and the distraction lets Hassan hit a Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a quick handicap match here to give Hassan a win over the champ to set up what should be a title match down the line. The match was the usual mess of a short form handicap match and that all but guarantees that it’s going to be terrible. At least they also advanced Jericho’s issues, as a heel turn has seemed to be in the cards for a few weeks now.

Post break Jericho arrives and is told that his match already happened. He’s been busy with the Fozzy tour so he’s got a lot on his mind. Whenever he finds Bischoff, he’ll face anyone tonight because Jericho equals ratings.

Christian and Tomko are in the back when Edge and Lita come in. Edge says Christian is probably staying on Raw so he has an offer: if Christian were to help Edge win the title tonight, Edge might be willing to part with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Christian gets it and says maybe he’ll see Edge later.

Chris Masters vs. Stevie Richards

This is for retribution after Masters broke Richards’ nose. Richards slugs away to start but Masters snaps off a suplex. The ax handle is blocked and Richards explodes with right hands. Masters takes out the knee and it’s the Masterlock for the quick win.

Post match medics come out and check on Richards.

Bischoff sends Todd Grisham to find out how Kane is doing.

Here are some of the women who might be finalists in the Diva Search.

Chris Jericho vs. Sylvain Grenier

Grenier is here on his own. Jericho gets taken into the corner to start and the Walls attempt is broken up. Instead Jericho forearms him in the head and hits the enziguri to the forearm. Grenier gets in a clothesline but Jericho snaps him throat first across the top. The Walls finish in a hurry.

Rating: D+. They were smart to not have Jericho break much of a sweat over Grenier here as Grenier is likely to be on the endangered species list with La Resistance done. The match was short and to the point though and that’s as much as you can expect. Jericho’s teased heel turn is a good idea though as he’s been in limbo for a long time.

Post match here’s Shelton but Jericho drops to the floor and talks about everything he has going on. Sometimes you’re going to have to put up with him being a little late because he’s Chris Jericho. The Jericholics will always be on his side.

Here’s Eric Bischoff for the ECW funeral, complete with a barbed wire wreath. Bischoff gives a rather laugh filled history of ECW, talking about the Bingo hall and how the roster thought they were rebels. Then he crushed ECW and it died, only to have rumors of a reunion pop up again. Therefore, he’ll crush it again, with the help of some Raw volunteers who are going to show up to the Hammerstein Ballroom on June 12. The rant continues but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt.

Vince is here because he has a vested interest in the future of ECW because he supposed ECW for years (which seems to be news to Bischoff). Vince knew that one day, the ECW stars could become WWE superstars, including Mick Foley, the Dudleys and Steve Austin. Bischoff isn’t pleased but Vince brings up the loans that ECW owed him, totaling nearly $600,000. That’s why he wants the ECW show to be a success, which is why he advertised them himself.

As for tonight, he’s going to present the ECW match that Bischoff canceled last week. See, the only brand that is really dead is WCW and Vince killed it himself. With Bischoff’s legs cut off, here’s Paul Heyman to talk about ECW instead, which gives us the always awesome visual of the three promoters in the same ring at once (I believe for the first time ever). Heyman says Vince may own ECW but Heyman controls it.

That brings him to Bischoff, who gets a rant about everything ECW did, including the cruiserweights and submission style, with Heyman holding up the ECW press pass every time he says everything. We hear about ECW being in your face and hardcore, with Bischoff being invited to see the show in person, with Heyman getting in the date of the show as he always does.

Vince loves the idea of a good old fight so may the best man win. Heyman says Bischoff has started a fire that he can’t put out. The wreath is set on fire and Bischoff looks worried. This just turned into a big deal and that’s a good thing as the show feels special. You could feel the anger that Heyman had for Bischoff here and it must feel great to him to have ECW back instead of WCW.

Steve Austin is in the remake of the Longest Yard.

Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri

ECW Rules so Tajiri jumps him from behind with the kendo stick on the stage. Benoit takes it away but gets the mist to the face so Tajiri can bring in some weapons. Tajiri whips him into a trashcan in the corner but Benoit is right back with the rolling German suplexes. The Crossface with the kendo stick gives Benoit the quick tap. Lawler keeps jumping on ECW and JR defends it, which is completely bizarre to hear.

Ric Flair thanks Batista for the save last week. He even wishes Batista good luck against Kane tonight.

Grisham goes to interview Kane, who talks about all the pain he has gone through over the years. This is the worst ever though and he is so hurt that he starts to cry. Kane doesn’t want this pain and wants it off of him. Instead he wants to give the pain to someone else.

Post break, Kane walks out.

Here’s Maria to interview Viscera, who is rather impressive looking in his suit. Maria invites Lillian into the ring because it’s clear that Viscera likes her. That’s true, though Lillian never showed up last week. He has a surprise for tonight though and asks for lights and music. Maria has to go get him a hot dog (Viscera: “Yeah I got a hot dog for you too baby.”) so Viscera can dance and eat at the same time. Lillian gets into it as the jacket comes off and the tie follows…..but then the pants come down. Cue Coach to demand that this be stopped immediately because Bischoff doesn’t need to deal with a sexual harassment lawsuit. Viscera is ordered to leave so it’s a beatdown for Coach, including the pelvic thrusting on the mat. Lillian gets pulled in for her kiss and she doesn’t seem to be complaining.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Batista takes him into the corner to start and powers his way out of a bad comeback attempt. With Edge on the floor, here are Christian and Tomko as we take a break. Back with Edge hammering away and getting in a shot to the ribs to send Batista outside.

They head back inside with Edge staying on the ribs with a bodyscissors. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two and we hit the chinlock, which gets switched into a sleeper. Lawler keeps going on about Lita’s top and JR goes into one of his great rants about how this isn’t about Lita. Batista’s arm drops twice and the comeback is on, only to have Edge nail a dropkick for the stop.

Edge goes up top but gets superplexed right back down and Batista is getting fired up. The referee gets bumped so Christian and Tomko come in for the beatdown. Cue Ric Flair for the save but Edge spears him down. Another spear gives Edge two so Lita slides in the briefcase, only to have Batista catch him with the Batista Bomb to retain.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. We spent three weeks on a tournament and the whole thing is more than likely a way to set up HHH vs. Batista III (Why else would Flair be involved?). Edge loses again, though the briefcase is going to be more than enough to keep him relevant. Not a very good match, but with so much going on, that isn’t exactly surprising.

Post match Batista helps Flair up and hugs him but here’s the returning HHH so Flair can hit Batista low. HHH has the sledgehammer and looks at the title like Edge looked at Lita earlier. The very long beatdown ensues, with Batista being busted open. HHH says they’re doing it again, but this time inside Hell in a Cell. A Pedigree onto the title ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The big segment in the middle was good but the rest of it was pretty dull as we need to fill in time before Vengeance with One Night Stand. Now that show sounds very good and is likely to be a blast, but it doesn’t do much good when so much of the roster has nothing to do with it so far. Hopefully things pick up soon because this wasn’t much of a show, including an underwhelming main event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 16, 2005: While HHH Is Away…..Things Aren’t Very Good

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2005
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to wrap up the Gold Rush Tournament as Edge faces Kane for the #1 contendership to Batista’s Raw World Title. Normally that would be enough, but we also have Christian vs. Ric Flair in what should be a good one and Chris Jericho/Shelton Benjamin vs. Muhammad Hassan/Khosrow Daivari. They’re certainly bringing it for what was likely sweeps week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, now prominently featuring Shawn Michaels superkicking Shelton Benjamin out of the air.

The announcers run down the big card.

Muhammad Hassan/Daivari vs. Chris Jericho/Shelton Benjamin

Thankfully it’s just Daivari, which has a better ring than his full name. This was set up last week when Hassan and Daivari jumped both of them at separate times. It’s a brawl to start with Jericho whipping Shelton into the corner for a double Stinger Splash. We settle down to Jericho chopping Daivari and suplexing him down. Shelton comes in for a clothesline but Hassan grabs a backbreaker. It’s already back to Daivari for a double arm crank and then a chinlock to keep things slow.

Back up and Shelton’s clothesline isn’t enough for the tag thanks to Hassan’s diving save and it’s back to cranking on the arms. A Samoan drop gets Shelton out of trouble and Jericho comes in to clean house. The enziguri sets up a high crossbody for two on Hassan with Daivari making the save. That’s enough of a distraction for Hassan to hit his Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C-. Hassan has certainly gotten a lot more watchable in recent weeks and a good portion of that is due to cutting down his mic time. It isn’t like the promos he’s giving have a lot of depth or variety to them so it’s a case of less being more. Daivari has been a big help as well as he can do a lot of the work in the matches, making this a good example of the pair being better than the solo act.

Post match Jericho storms off and Shelton is confused.

Chris Benoit and Tajiri are in the back. They’ve both been invited to ECW One Night Stand so tonight they’ll have an ECW Rules match for old times’ sake. William Regal comes up to find out what is going on so Tajiri explains in Japanese. Regal gets the whole thing but doesn’t care for the violence. Tajiri can go do it if that’s what he wants though.

We look back at the frustrated HHH leaving last week.

Coach literally runs into Eric Bischoff’s office with Ric Flair to tell him about the ECW Rules match. Bischoff doesn’t want to hear about it because Flair has to talk about how great HHH is. Flair demands Bischoff call HHH but that isn’t happening. If HHH wants to come back, HHH can make the call. Flair leaves and runs into Batista, who he blames for everything. How dare Batista cause HHH this many problems when HHH brought him into the business? Batista says it isn’t his fault and Flair got him started. They trade WOOs, with Batista’s being comically quiet.

Ric Flair vs. Christian

Feeling out process to start with Christian hitting a shoulder and offering his own strut. That just gets him a slap to the face so Christian grabs a backdrop. The slam off the top and a clothesline to the floor let Tomko get in a cheap shot. JR refers to this as physical molestation as Flair is thrown back in for two. A missed charge lets Flair chop away and it’s a Flair Flop from Christian. Tomko gets in a shot to break up the Figure Four so Flair grabs a rollup, the tights and the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a Flair showcase as he got to do all the greatest hits and show that they still work. The problem is that he pinned Christian, who was seemingly ready to break through to the other side and has lost twice in a row since. I’m not sure why WWE bothered setting him up like that to bring him back down, but WWE has done more questionable things before.

Post match Flair is cornered by Christian and Tomko so Batista comes out for the save.

Lita fires Christy up for her lingerie pillow fight until Edge interrupts. He tells Lita to warn Kane about what’s coming tonight, and you can bank on it.

Christian limps around backstage so here’s Maria to ask if he’s hurt. Christian: “Where did you get your journalism degree from? A box of Cocoa Puffs?” This isn’t over with Batista.

Here’s Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge. This time the prize is $6,000 and a one way plane ticket to anywhere in the United States, because anywhere is better than Omaha. The fan loses in near record time so here’s Steven Richards to go after Masters and chase him off with a chair. So yes, after a month plus of these things, their best idea is a Steven Richards feud.

Kane grabs Edge by the throat and says stay away from Lita.

Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri

ECW Rules and weapons are provided at ringside. Tajiri starts fast with the Tarantula as Lawler goes off with the insults on ECW as only he can. The handsprings elbow is countered into a German suplex but Tajiri flips out and kicks him in the head. They go outside with Tajiri going face first into the steps and that means it’s ladder time. Tajiri is laid on the table and Benoit climbs the ladder in the ring….but here’s Coach to stop the match on Bischoff’s orders. Bischoff comes out as well to officially end the match. Not long enough to rate but it was there to advance an angle more than anything else.

Post match Bischoff trashes ECW and bans any mention of ECW on Raw whatsoever. You can’t even chant for it! Also, the Raw wrestlers are forbidden from appearing at ECW One Night Stand. Bischoff is even going to show up with a bunch of Raw volunteers to end ECW once and for all. This is an expected reaction from Bischoff and should set up something fun at One Night Stand.

Christy Hemme vs. Candice Michelle

Lingerie pillow fight so the bed is in the ring. They fight and feathers go everywhere, including a trip to the floor just because. Christy wins with a sunset flip.

With the women still in the ring, cue Viscera in a suit because the pillow fight has turned him on. The hip swiveling sends Christy and Candice running, but Viscera would rather talk about Lilian Garcia. Viscera sees the two of them and that bed and he has an idea. He kisses a fan at ringside to get her cotton candy, with JR not liking the idea of Viscera having more sugar.

Lilian gets in the ring and Viscera tells her to put some of the pillows on the bed. He lays down and offers her some cotton candy, which he licks rather, uh, suggestively. Viscera has a surprise for her, including a pickle in his pocket. He pulls out a hotel room key and Lilian isn’t sure about this. Viscera: “Room four sixty nine.” That’s enough to make Lilian to fall off the bed and end a rather horribly entertaining segment. Yeah it’s bad but it’s the overly cheesy bad where they know what they’re doing.

Kane and Lita breathe at each other a lot and kissing ensues.

We recap the Gold Rush Tournament.

Shelton comes up to Jericho to make sure everything is cool. Jericho lists off some of his accomplishments and everything he has going on at the moment, including a plug for a Fozzy album.

Tag Team Titles: Hurricane/Rosey vs. Simon Dean/Maven

Hurricane and Rosey are defending and debut Super Stacy as their new manager. Rosey slams Maven with no problem to start as Lawler tries to figure out what Stacy’s name should be. Hurricane comes in and gets pulled into the wrong corner with Dean taking him down by the neck. A double suplex lets Maven get in some situps but Hurricane fights up and brings in Rosey to clean house. Stacy offers the distraction and it’s a side slam/Eye of the Hurricane combination to finish Maven.

Rating: D-. The champs won the titles ice cold and now they have Stacy Keibler as a manager. Stacy is one of those people whose value was pretty limited in the first place and it has gone through the floor over the last few years. Putting her on this team seems like an act of desperation and it really doesn’t bode well for the champs’ future.

Smackdown Rebound.

Here’s the still injured Randy Orton for a chat. People have been asking him if he is coming back to Raw or going to Smackdown. After telling the fans to shut up, he says he can’t be drafted because he’s injured. That’s because of Batista and the Undertaker, so Orton wants Batista to keep the title until he gets back to take it from him. Orton goes to leave so here’s Vince McMahon to cut him off.

Vince: “What the h*** has happened to you?” He mocks Orton for losing weight but Orton blames the shoulder surgery. Vince doesn’t want to hear about the injury because no one is exempt from the Draft. The Draft begins three weeks from tonight and it’s going on for a whole month this time around. Orton might be standing in a Raw ring for the last time so gain some weight and let your hair grow out again.

Gold Rush Tournament Finals: Kane vs. Edge

Lita is out with Kane. An early big boot drops Edge with JR saying it’s going to be a quick one so don’t make a sandwich. Kane grabs a suplex and chokes away but Edge hammers away in the corner. They fight to the floor with Kane taking over again as they’re firmly in first and a half gear.

Edge takes over with some forearms to the back and the referee gets bumped for a second, allowing Edge to hit a low blow. Back from a break with Edge working on the knee and taking it outside again to stay on said knee. The leglock goes on as this is hardly exciting stuff. Kane fights up and uppercuts him out of the air for two, setting up Snake Eyes for a bonus. The Edge-O-Matic cuts Kane down again but the spear is countered with a grab of the throat.

Edge grabs the referee to escape and the Edgecution gets two more. Kane tries a Tombstone but the ref gets bumped for real this time. The spear barely keeps Kane down and he kicks the briefcase out of Edge’s hands. Lita takes it away but slides it to Edge as Kane goes up, allowing Edge to knock Kane out of the air with a shot to the face. Lita wakes the referee up and Edge gets the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good for the first place but the ending was good with the result, and the way they got there, being what they needed to be. Edge is the bigger star and putting him with Lita should be a great match. Kane is now more of a sympathetic face, or at least as sympathetic as you can be given how he and Lita got together in the first place.

Post match Lita jumps into Edge’s arms and goes evil, which always worked very, very well. Given what was going on in real life, they would have been crazy not to go this way. The big kiss on the stage ends the show as Edge and Lita channel their inner Christian and Trish from last year.

Overall Rating: D. There were some nice storyline additions on here but the wrestling was REALLY bad with the best match being a short and not very good tag match to open the show. I was thinking that this one would be the big show that made up for some of the previous weeks but we’re still waiting, which is becoming quite the problem.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 9, 2005: No Payoff

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2005
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Tournament time continues this week as we move on to the semifinals in the Gold Rush Tournament. That should mean some good matches as the four left are more than good enough, though the whole point of this is to be Batista’s next victim. I have no idea how we’ll wind up with another HHH title shot, but you can all but bet on that being the endgame. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the tournament starting last week, including the four first round matches.

Here’s HHH for the opening chat, because we need to hear from someone out of the tournament. Before he says anything this time though, HHH goes outside to yell at fans for reminding him that he tapped out. He eventually gets back inside to call the tournament bogus because he Pedigreed Batista and had him beat. The rematch should go to him but Eric Bischoff wants to control Batista and the World Title. If HHH gets one more shot, he’ll beat Batista just like that.

Cue Batista to mockingly apologize for the interruption, because he’s so afraid of HHH. Actually, what exactly is he afraid of? He’s already beaten HHH both times he’s faced him and then there was last week’s loss in the tournament. Maybe….HHH just isn’t good enough for another title shot. There goes HHH’s tie and he eventually says Batista’s title means nothing until he goes through HHH.

That doesn’t mean some Wrestlemania fluke but rather going through HHH. He is what matters in this business and he defines what Batista is and what he will become. If Batista is going to disrespect him, he’ll walk out right now and watch Batista fail from his big mansion. HHH walks out so Batista says he doesn’t need HHH because he’s already beaten him.

Post break, HHH storms out as Ric Flair tells him to stay. HHH tells Flair to come with him but Flair is going to stay and deal with this.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari with the latter still employed after being beaten down last week. Daivari sucks up to Hassan and issues the open challenge to make up for things.

Khosrow Daivari vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho chops away in the corner but misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. The logical armbar goes on for a bit but Daivari goes to the middle rope and gets punched out of the air. A flapjack into the enziguri looks to set up the Walls but Daivari makes the rope. Not that it matters as Jericho gets them on a few seconds later and Daivari taps in a hurry.

Post match Hassan lays out Jericho with the Downward Spiral and the camel clutch. Shelton Benjamin makes the save.

Christy Hemme asks Bischoff about the Draft and is told that the Divas are eligible to be drafted as well. See there’s a new Diva Search coming up and Bischoff hopes to find a more successful Diva. With that insult out of the way, La Resistance comes in to demand another title shot. This leads to an argument between Conway and Grenier so Bischoff puts them in a singles match each. That’s not a good selling point.

Flair leaves HHH a message about how awesome he is but here are Christian and Tyson Tomko to mock Flair for being so worried. It’s a shame that HHH isn’t going to be here tonight because no one can spit water on themselves. Flair: “I don’t like you.” A match is set up for later between Flair and Captain Courageous.

Classic Moment: Jerry Lawler wins the AWA World Title. If nothing else, it’s smart to remind fans that Lawler was a big time wrestler back in the day. How many younger fans wouldn’t know that?

Sylvain Grenier vs. Viscera

Twenty minute HHH segments, a squash and now this. Grenier’s face when he sees Viscera is a nice touch though. Conway leaves and Grenier tries a shoulder, which goes as well as you would have expected. The swinging Boss Man Slam lets Viscera mount him for the pelvic thrusts. A missed splash lets Grenier hit a missile dropkick for two but the spinwheel kick drops him again. The chokebomb ends Grenier in a hurry.

Post match Viscera takes a fan’s nachos and goes to hit on Lilian, saying they taste as good as she does. He has her announce him as the winner again, because that really turns him on. Viscera: “You want some of my nachos?” We get the Lady and the Tramp sharing of the nacho, with Viscera promising that she’ll love the main course. JR: “Why do I want to hear some Barry White all of a sudden?”

A rather pleased Lita comes in to see Kane, who is thinking about them. He hugs her rather forcefully (she doesn’t seem pleased, after weeks of being into him) and reminisces about the nine months they have been married. She likes the idea of him becoming World Champion with hints at fornication if he wins. Kane: “That’s what makes us such a cute couple.”

Gold Rush Tournament Semifinals: Kane vs. Chris Benoit

Lita is here with Kane. Benoit goes with the chops to start before going for the ankle. The Sharpshooter and Crossface attempts are blocked so we’ll try the chops again. Kane’s side slam gets two and we hit the neck crank. A clothesline takes Benoit down again for two and the chinlock goes on.

The big boot connects (and has Lita pleased) but the top rope clothesline is dropkicked out of the air. That sets up the rolling German suplexes and the Swan Dive for two and Lita is panicking. An enziguri into a baseball slide to the floor knocks Lita down and the knee is clutched. Benoit checks on Lita and gets decked from behind, setting up the chokeslam for the pin back inside.

Rating: C+. These two work well together but you can tell a lot of Benoit’s time has passed. Kane is fine for the monster who you push at various times and that’s what they’re doing here, though you can tell something is up with Lita. That could be interesting and I’ll take that above the same run of the mill stuff that often happens on this show.

Christian vs. Ric Flair

Actually hang on as Christian views Flair as a problem, and you know what that means.

Tyson Tomko vs. Ric Flair

Tomko clotheslines him down and gets an early two off a powerslam. Flair gets smart by going after the knee and the Figure Four is on in no time. Christian sneaks in to rake the eyes though and that’s an ejection, allowing Flair to hit Tomko low. The rollup (with trunks of course) is enough for the pin. There’s something so sweet about seeing Flair cheat to win.

Here are some of the people who might make the finals of the Diva Search.

We look back at HHH leaving.

Here’s Stacy Keibler for a completely necessary chat. She’s in Stuff Magazine and we get some clips from her shoot with Todd Grisham doing his best Lawler impression. She offers us a sneak peak in person but here are Simon Dean and Maven to interrupt. They seem to think that Maven is the better looking human and Maven critiques her physique while Simon puts together a shake. Stacy is ordered to drink the shake but she “accidentally” drops it. Cue Hurricane and Rosey for the save as this is really the best they can do for the Tag Team Titles.

Coach comes in to see Bischoff and talks about the upcoming ECW One Night Stand. Bischoff hates the idea because it’s all blood and thumbtacks and barbed wire and violence (the fans seem to approve). As the ECW chants start up, Bischoff promises to squash ECW again.

Rob Conway vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Conway jumps him during the entrance and says the title should be his. The stomping is on for an early one and a snap suplex is good for the same, meaning it’s already time for the chinlock. Shelton fights up without much trouble and backdrops him for two of his own. The exploder is blocked and Conway scores with a running knee lift. That’s fine with Shelton, who kicks him in the head and hits the springboard bulldog for the fast pin. I’d think that’s about it for La Resistance as an important team now, yes?

Post match Muhammad and Daivari lay out Shelton on the stage. That’s a logical next feud for Hassan and it’s not like Benjamin has anyone else to fight right now.

Here’s John Cena’s Bad Bad Man video.

Maria asks Shawn Michaels about his match with The Edge. After making fun of the mistake, Shawn praises Shelton Benjamin for last week and says if “The Edge” likes to whine, tonight he’ll be throwing the biggest hissy fit ever because Shawn is Money in the Bank.

Next week: Jericho/Benjamin vs. Hassan/Daivari, Christian vs. Flair and the tournament final. That’s a pretty good show.

Gold Rush Tournament Semifinals: Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Joined in progress with Shawn sending Edge outside for the springboard spinning crossbody. Edge snaps him throat first across the rope to take over and it’s Shawn in trouble in a hurry. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed by a neckbreaker and the chinlock again. Edge lets that go and heads up, only to get kicked out of the air. A knee lift gives us a double knockdown but it’s Shawn up first and hammering Edge down.

The top rope elbow connects (long one too) but Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair which is countered into a victory roll to give Shawn two. Edge is right back with the Edge-O-Matic but the ref gets bumped, meaning there is no count off the Edgecution. Sweet Chin Music gets the same non-count so Edge gets up and clocks Shawn with the briefcase (putting a dent in the thing) for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as it felt like they skipped the entire intro and went straight to the big stuff at the end. Edge winning made the most sense as he has a more interesting story and giving him a pin over Shawn, even this kind of pin, sets up better possibilities. Besides, it’s not like Shawn losing is going to hurt him whatsoever.

Overall Rating: D+. The tournament matches were good and next week is looking great, but at the same time there were a lot of short matches here which didn’t mean anything and didn’t exactly go anywhere. That’s acceptable if next week’s show is worth the setup, but I’m not sure how much confidence I have in them to pull something like that off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 2, 2005 (2019 Redo): My Favorite Match

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2005
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Backlash and Batista has vanquished HHH (again), meaning it’s time to find someone fresh for him to beat up. Other than that…there isn’t much going on after last night. Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels won Hogan’s ONE MORE MATCH, which I’m sure will never be brought up again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In the back, Batista is hitting on a rather receptive Christy Hemme when Eric Bischoff interrupts. We’re going to have a tournament for the #1 contendership to the World Title and he even has a name for it: the Gold Rush Tournament. No one will know who they are facing until the music hits. As for tonight, Batista can have the night off. Christy smiles but Batista wants to have a match tonight. He hints at wanting to face Bischoff, who screams at the thought. Batista laughs, because he’s an animal with a sense of humor.

Opening sequence.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Christian vs. Kane

Christian has Tomko with him so Kane counters with a limping Lita. One heck of a shove sends Christian to the floor and a big boot makes it even worse. Kane follows him but gets drop toeholded into the steps to give Christian a breather. A crossbody off the steps gives Christian two back inside, though it just seems to annoy Kane even more.

The reverse DDT gets two with Kane launching him off for the kickout. Christian’s raised boot in the corner earns him an attempted chokeslam but Christian escapes into a sleeper. That’s reversed into a side slam but Christian gets smart by going to the eye. Tomko gets on the apron so Kane sends them into each other, setting up the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well so much for Christian being ready for the monster push. They seemed interested in going somewhere with him and then he loses to Kane in less than five minutes. There was no one else they could put into that spot? Or have Kane win by countout or something? Why give Christian pay per view time last night if this is what you have planned for him the next night?

Post match Tomko jumps Kane and gets beaten down as well.

Post break, Christian runs into Ric Flair in the back. Ric mocks him for losing and “raps” that HHH is winning the tournament.

We get part of the opening video from last night’s show, focusing on the fans demanding ONE MORE MATCH from Hogan.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for a chat. Daivari rants a bit before handing the mic to Hassan, who will not allow this injustice to continue. He is undefeated from Raw and yet he is still left out of the Gold Rush Tournament. It’s prejudice, but it’s also Daivari’s fault. Daivari took the fall last night and that isn’t cool, so Hassan beats him up. Hassan leaves and Daivari nearly crawls after him. Daivari is better in the ring and the rants are always energetic but these two need some rebuilding.

Here’s Viscera for a chat before his match. Last night he showed how physical he can be and his hunger for love. That brings him to Lilian Garcia, because he is a big man who likes to eat spicy. Lilian is a spicy Latina so Viscera wants to go south of the border tonight. Cue Simon Dean to interrupt to say women don’t want men who are this out of shape. Dean calls himself a Greek god but everyone here in Boston is fat. Those are fighting words.

Simon Dean vs. Viscera

Viscera throws him around to start and hits a splash to break Simon out of the Tree of Woe. An elbow misses so Dean goes up, only to get chokeslammed out of the air, setting up the splash for the pin.

Post match Viscera tells Lilian that he’s back on the market. The BLACK market.

Stacy Keibler and Candice Michelle oogle Stacy in Stuff Magazine, as good looking women tend to do. Bischoff comes up and likes the pictures before heading to his office. HHH is waiting on him and rants about the tournament, because he had Batista beaten last night. If we have to have a tournament, HHH better be in the thing. Bischoff can tell Batista that he is on borrowed time.

Shelton Benjamin isn’t worried about who he has to face because that’s what a champ does. Chris Jericho comes in to stare at the title but respect is shown. They’re both in the tournament and wouldn’t mind facing each other.

We get a quick graphic acknowledging the passing of Chris Candido. That’s better than they have done on some occasions.

We look back at Kane beating Christian.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

Non-title and this is a special one. Shelton’s taken back look when Shawn’s face is great as he didn’t expect something like this. JR loses it because this is going to be awesome, and yeah it’s almost impossible for it not to be. Shawn tries to wrestle him to the mat and finds out that’s not a good idea, meaning it’s straight to the ropes for a break. A hammerlock works a bit but Shawn tries taking him down again for the exact same result. You can see the look of “well that didn’t work” on Shawn’s face, though the fans are still completely behind him.

A headlock takeover works a bit better but Shelton is right back up with some armdrags for the early standoff. Shelton headlocks him down for a change, with Shawn trying some rollups to keep things from getting dull (so many people forget to do that). Back up and Shawn goes with a forearm to the head for the first real offense but it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. Shawn gets the worst of it and we take a break with him still down.

Back from a break with Shelton reversing a belly to back superplex into a crossbody (a little better than coming back in a chinlock) to put them both down again. A Samoan drop gives Shelton a bit of an advantage but he can’t get back up. Some running clotheslines have Shawn in trouble and a backbreaker gives Shelton two. Shawn comes back with the forearm into the nipup but Shelton does a faster one of his own, giving us a great “YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!” look.

Some elbows break up the exploder and tries Sweet Chin Music but walks into the Dragon Whip (and a great one at that) for two. Shawn knocks him off the top and drops the elbow but can’t cover. Instead he pulls himself up and tries the superkick again with Shelton blocking this one with a high kick to the head. Just to show off, Shelton jumps from the mat to the top for a spinning clothesline and another two. Back up and Shawn sends him to the apron so Shelton tries a springboard…..to this day I have no idea what he was going for but it’s superkicked out of the air for the highlight reel moment and the pin.

Rating: A-. This is my all time favorite match and there are a few different reasons. Starting with what you can see in front of you, these guys were tearing it up for about fifteen minutes with Shelton being a different level of athlete but Shawn hanging in there until he caught Shelton trying for one big move too many and finishing him. Shelton’s athleticism was on full display here (that jump to the top for the clothesline was nuts) and it’s not like you lose much when you get pinned clean by Shawn after an instant classic. Outstanding match and well worth seeing if you haven’t, or again if you have.

The other reason this match means so much to me is it served as a big step forward in my wrestling fandom. For years I had heard about the concepts of psychology and storytelling in matches but they never really clicked. I was watching this a few years after it aired and I thought it was like an older, smarter Shawn wrestling himself from ten years ago: the young, athletic phenom who would do these big things because he could rather than if it made sense.

It was like a light bulb went off over my head as it was the first time I understood the idea of telling a story with a match. I had never really gotten the concept but it started to make sense, which was something completely new for me. It helped me start looking for things like that in matches from them on and it made me into a different kind of fan. Not every match is going to have something that specific, but once it clicks like that, it can change everything for you. Anyway, great match, watch it if you have time.

Shawn shows some respect and it takes a good while for Shelton to get up.

Edge is asked why he’s in the tournament when he already has a guaranteed shot. He brings up beating Chris Benoit last night so now he’s the real toughest man in WWE. As for why he’s in the tournament, of course he wants two title matches, because not even Batista can beat him twice in a row. The interviewer brings up an important point: if Edge gets drafted to Smackdown, he loses his shot because it’s for the World Heavyweight Title. This seems to be news to Edge, but he’ll be champion anyway. Edge leaves and goes to hit on Lita and Victoria, who aren’t interested. This actually doesn’t get a big chant/gasp from the crowd.

Tag Team Titles: Hurricane/Rosey vs. La Resistance

Hurricane/Rosey are defending. Rosey shoves Grenier down to start but it’s a quick low bridging to take him outside. That means a posting for two back inside and the stomping is on again. Rosey gets beaten up in the corner for a bit but manages to elbow his way out of trouble. The rolling tag brings in the Hurricane to clean house, including a middle rope hurricanrana for two on Grenier. Conway gets sent outside and it’s a side slam/Eye of the Hurricane combination to finish Grenier and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Hurricane and Rosey aren’t great as champions but they’re better than just about anyone else who could be in the spot. La Resistance has run its course and while they’re still fine enough as midcard heels, we’ve covered everything that could be done with them and I’m glad that we seem to be moving on. The problem is who in the world are we supposed to move on to?

Smackdown Rebound.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho goes after a wristlock to start but Edge powers out for a standoff. Slapping and chopping have Edge in trouble against the ropes and in the corner but he’s fine enough to shove Jericho off the top. A ram into the elbow and an elbow to the back give Edge two and a backbreaker is good for the same. Jericho gets in a flapjack for the double knockdown and the running shoulders keep Edge in trouble. The running enziguri gets two but Edge gets in a shot to the face, meaning it’s time to grab the briefcase.

Edge can’t bring himself to do it though and Jericho dropkicks him to the floor. That means a slingshot dive but Jericho wastes some time by pulling the pad off the barricade. Some fans call this boring but seem pleased when Edge’s spear hits buckle back inside. The Walls go on but Edge is too close to the rope. He’s also close to the briefcase, which bashes Jericho in the head. A missile dropkick and the spear finish Jericho.

Rating: C+. Jericho is in a bit of a funk at the moment as his matches are still good but he doesn’t seem to be going anywhere or doing anything important. Edge winning was the only choice here as he has a story with the potential to have two title matches at once. The briefcase works well as a signature weapon too.

Happy Birthday Rock! I’m sure you’ll be here soon!

Chris Masters, Masterlock Challenge ($4,000, a Curt Schilling Red Sox jersey and an autographed Tom Brady football), plant, Masters wins. Takes about six minutes.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: HHH vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit chops away and wins a slugout, setting up the first suplex. HHH bails from the threat of a Crossface and whips Benoit chest first into the buckle. A hard clothesline to the back of the head has Benoit’s eyes bugging out in one of the most deeply disturbing images I can remember in a long time.

We take a break and come back with HHH getting frustrated and Benoit’s eyes still all buggy, though not as bad as they were before. Benoit shrugs off a knee to the head and chops away again but gets pulled into a sleeper. The suplex gets Benoit out of trouble and, after ducking a clothesline (meaning we don’t get the scary eyes again), rolls the German suplexes.

The Swan Dive connects for a delayed two and it’s time to beat up an invading Flair. We get a ref bump and it’s a low blow to Benoit, but here’s Batista (in gear after being in a suit earlier) to lay out HHH and Flair. Everyone is down (with Benoit’s eyes all over the place again) until Benoit slaps on the Sharpshooter for the (eventual) win.

Rating: C. The match was good enough but egads those eyes are hard to get out of your head. Even if you ignore what would be coming for Benoit, that was one of the creepiest things I’ve seen in wrestling for a good while. Benoit making HHH tap (or anyone making him tap for that matter) is almost hard to fathom but it’s nice for a HHH break, as short as it is guaranteed to be.

Here are the updated brackets:

Kane

Chris Benoit

Shawn Michaels

Edge

Overall Rating: B-. This was actually a heck of a show with wrestling up and down the card (though the quality varies) with the instant classic being more than enough to carry it a long way. As overloaded as WWE has been with tournaments lately, this is a chance to give Batista a fresh challenger and that could help him a lot at the moment. Now granted it still looks like he’s feuding with HHH, but I wouldn’t put too much worry into something like that. Rather good show, with one match taking it to a different level.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Backlash 2005 (2019 Redo): Hogan, Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Backlash 2005
Date: May 1, 2005
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the follow up to Wrestlemania and that means we’re in for a rematch for the Raw World Title with HHH challenging Batista for the title. Other than that, we have the ultimate teaming of Shawn Michaels/Hulk Hogan vs. Muhammad Hassan/Daivari because we need a way to get to what is likely going to be Shawn vs. Hogan at a big show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a history of Hulk Hogan’s career, complete with fans shouting ONE MORE MATCH. Then Shawn needed his help and it’s time for the big tag match. The World Title gets some attention as well and thankfully it comes off as a double main event rather than one big match and the World Title as a secondary option. HHH thinks he can win if he hits the Pedigree, which is some mix of insightful and obvious.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is defending in a long form rematch after he took the title from Jericho in October. Shelton wastes no time in armdragging him into an armbar and a second one annoys Jericho even more. Back up and Jericho slaps him in the face, earning himself some right hands to the jaw. A suplex attempt puts Jericho on the apron so Shelton tries a sunset bomb, which is countered into a hurricanrana to the floor in a nice sequence.

They head back inside for the chinlock but Shelton breaks out in just a few seconds. The Stinger Splash to the back in the corner sets up a belly to back to give Shelton a breather but it’s Jericho back up first. The Lionsault misses so Jericho goes up top, only to have Shelton jump to the top for a superplex, because of course he can do something like that. Both guys get back up before a double clothesline puts them right back down.

It’s Jericho up first with a forearm and shoulder, followed by the running enziguri for two. Jericho tries to throw him over the top but Shelton springboards back in with a bulldog for his own two. A quick Walls attempt is blocked so Jericho catapults him into the corner, with Shelton landing on the middle rope.

The exploder gets two as Jericho has to get his foot on the rope and Shelton isn’t sure what to do. Shelton goes for another exploder but gets pulled into the Walls, meaning it’s his turn to grab the rope. The Lionsault almost hits raised knees but Jericho lands on his feet and tries the Walls, only to get cradled for the pin to retain Shelton’s title.

Rating: B. This was as good as you would have expected it to be with Jericho doing everything that he could do and helping make Shelton look like a star. At the same time, Shelton is on fire right now and showing off the freaky athleticism that made him one of the hottest things in wrestling. Very good opener here and it wouldn’t shock me if this was the best thing on the show.

Post match Jericho is frustrated and has nothing to say. Granted that might be because it was Todd Grisham asking.

Edge is ready to beat Chris Benoit tonight, just like he did in Money in the Bank. Tonight, he’ll be the Last Man Standing.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

William Regal and Tajiri are defending in a bonus match. There are five teams and it’s the Heart Throbs in first and Regal and Tajiri in second. Romeo shoulders Regal down to start and it’s a cartwheel to frustrate him even more. Antonio comes in to work on the arm but you don’t do that to a British wrestler, as Regal flips out and brings in Tajiri for the kicks.

Tajiri grabs a double underhook and rolls Romeo around a bit before getting two off a butterfly suplex. Antonio comes back in but runs into a sunset flip out of the corner for the first elimination. Maven and Simon Dean are in third and the fight is on in a hurry with Simon dropping a leg on Tajiri (after some exercising of course). It’s off to Maven for some forearms, followed by the generic cheating in the corner. Simon grabs a front facelock as we talk about JR in a Speedo.

Thankfully we move on to anything else as Tajiri gets up and hits a spinwheel kick, allowing the hot tag off to Regal. Everything breaks down and the knee trembler finishes Simon. La Resistance is in fourth and JR has to try and figure out the USA chant given that the only American in the match is Rob Conway.

We settle down to Tajiri spinwheel kicking Grenier and Regal coming back in for some forearms. It’s already back to Tajiri, who looks winded less than eight minutes into a tag match. Regal comes back in for some knees as Lawler praises his stamina. Well to be fair we’re almost at nine minutes now. Everything breaks down and Tajiri can’t get the Tarantula, allowing Conway to roll Regal up and grab the trunks for the pin.

Hurricane and Rosey come in fifth and it’s a title match against La Resistance. Hurricane wastes no time in hitting a high crossbody for two on Grenier, followed by the Blockbuster for the same. A toss over the top rope gives us a nasty crash with Hurricane’s leg hitting the top of the post, though thankfully he’s fine enough to come right back in. The chinlock goes on for a few seconds but Grenier misses a middle rope elbow (which didn’t look good).

Rosey comes in to a rather nice reaction and it’s time to clean house again. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two but La Resistance is back up for a double spinebuster. Rosey shrugs that off and sends them together before climbing to the bottom rope. Hurricane climbs onto his shoulders and nails a huge splash for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. I’ve never been a fan of this kind of match as the longest fall was the final, which barely broke four minutes. There were four falls in just over thirteen minutes and Hurricane/Rosey win the titles after beating a cheating team who had already wrestled a fall. This is the best they can do for a Tag Team Title match? The division has never been a focal point but egads this is one of the low points.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Benoit. Edge damaged Benoit’s arm rather badly during Money in the Bank and Benoit hasn’t been happy since. They’ve had some rather hard hitting fights and now it’s Last Man Standing. It’s always cool to see them get a story out of a big cluster of a match, which is one of the major perks of such a match.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Last Man Standing. The fight is on at the bell (makes sense) and so are the YOU SCREWED MATT chants. Benoit chops him down in the corner but gets whipped chest first into the other corner so Edge can choke to his heart’s content. The spear is countered with a drop toehold onto the mat as Benoit might have thought Edge was a little closer to the corner. Edge kicks him in the face and they fight to the floor with Edge going for some trashcans.

That doesn’t work just yet and it’s time to head into the crowd for a lot more punching. Back in and Benoit grabs the Sharpshooter, which makes a lot of sense here. With that not working, Benoit rolls some German suplexes and a shaken up Edge bails for a bit. A running forearm knocks Edge off the apron to start the count again. The fans want tables but settle for Benoit’s dive through the ropes hitting a raised trashcan lid for a nasty crash.

Thankfully the fans seem appreciative as Edge pauses for a breather while Benoit remembers what planet he’s on. That’s good for an eight so they head back inside with Edge superplexing him onto a trashcan. Benoit is (mostly) up at nine so it’s time for Edge to destroy him with the trashcan lid. And now, just because of who is in here (and how Edge first hurt Benoit’s arm), we get a ladder set up in the corner.

Edge goes up and gets German suplexed right back off of said ladder for the big double knockdown. With Edge down, Benoit climbs the ladder but misses the Swan Dive to knock himself out again. Edge can’t follow up so Benoit grabs the Crossface to make him tap a second time.

More rolling German suplexes have Edge rocked but he manages to block one more and hit the Edgecution onto the Money in the Bank briefcase. That doesn’t work either so Edge spears him down, only for nine. Edge can’t believe it so he hits another spear for another nine. With that not working, Edge goes to the briefcase and pulls out a brick (ala Money Inc. at Wrestlemania IX) to knock Benoit cold for the win.

Rating: B. These guys beat the heck out of each other and Edge having the big weapon just in case he needed it was a good ending. Edge is someone who is going to have a last backup plan and that’s what he did here. Benoit tried to come in on his own and came close, whereas Edge was ready to do whatever it took to win. It’s a good way way to show the difference between the two and how much smarter Edge can be, which makes sense in this match.

Benoit has to be helped up and gets a strong ovation. Ignore the large section of empty seats on the shot of the cheering crowd.

In the back, Lita looks on approvingly in a subtle nod to real life. Kane comes in and Lita is ready to see him take out Trish Stratus and Viscera. Actually Lita thinks it would be funny to see Trish have to sleep with Viscera. Lita: “Can you imagine him naked?” She goes into detail of the whole act between the two and Kane dubs it disturbing. Kissing ensues.

And now, on a pay per view, Jerry Lawler gets to bring out some of the Divas to talk about the new Diva Swimsuit Issue. We see each of their favorite photos from the magazine and now it’s time for some questions. Before we can get to those, it’s Chris Masters interrupting and I’m not sure which is the better choice.

It’s time for a $3000 Masterlock Challenge as Lawler is back on commentary to complain about Masters interrupting his questions. Masters picks a muscular woman, which seems to surprise him as he thought it was a man. I guess he thought it was a man who REALLY liked chest day. Her name is Melissa Coates, who has wrestled in the indies for years. Masters puts her in the Masterlock and knocks her out in a hurry. This was a horrible waste of pay per view time, which you have to expect on a six match card.

Viscera is waiting outside Trish’s locker room so they can get to the ring and get it on like a steaming pot of neckbone. Trish: “Neckbone?” Viscera: “It’s a black thing. You’ll get used to it.” He has lingerie for her and a room booked for them, at a bed and breakfast for two of his favorite things. Trish says he still has to beat Kane.

Kane vs. Viscera

Lita and Trish are here too. Kane bounces off of him to start and gets dropped with a single clothesline. A missed charge in the corner lets Kane hit a running splash from behind as JR makes it clear that this won’t go long. Viscera gets sent outside for a top rope clothesline as the fans want Matt. Back in and some elbows keep Viscera in trouble as Lawler makes jokes about Viscera rising to the occasion later.

Viscera gets in a knee to the ribs, setting up the pelvic thrusting at Trish. The women get in an argument so Kane grabs Trish, allowing Viscera to crush him in the corner. A Samoan drop gets two and a Boss Man Slam is good for the same as the slow yet high impact offense continues. Kane gets in a DDT to set up the top rope clothesline and it’s Viscera’s turn to lay down for a bit.

The chokeslam is broken up and the head outside with Viscera splashing the post by mistake. Trish’s chair shot is broken up by Lita’s crutch and we get a rather effective evil smile from Lita. Back in and Viscera gets two off a sitout chokebomb but he stops to go after Lita. Tongue is extended so Kane kicks him in the….I’m not sure where but we’ll call it blubber. A chokeslam (well protected by some camera cuts) puts Viscera away.

Rating: D. You know, this could have been a lot worse. They didn’t try to do anything more than the high impact stuff and while it should have been about two minutes shorter, it was far from some disaster that will haunt fans for years to come. If nothing else the chokebomb and Lita’s evil smile worked well. I’ll call this a rather surprising result, even if it wasn’t very good.

Post match Trish yells at Viscera and says she never would have lowered herself to sleeping with him anyway. He’s a chicken eating loser you see. She’s going to find a man to take Viscera out and that man will get a lot of loving. Viscera bearhugs her down and hits a splash, setting up the hip thrusts to a rather big face pop. I don’t see this going anywhere positive. Trish does a stretcher job to fill in more time.

We recap Muhammad Hassan/Khosrow Daivari vs. Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels. Hassan and Daivari don’t like how America has treated them so they beat up Shawn Michaels. That meant Shawn needed a Real American and there just happened to be one who the fans had been begging for one more match. It’s a big deal for Hassan and Daivari, even though they have as much chance to win as I do of winning Ms. Nevada 1978.

Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels vs. Muhammad Hassan/Khosrow Daivari

The fans waste no time in starting the HOGAN chants as soon as Shawn’s entrance is done and the legendary hero pop blows the roof off of the place as soon as the music hits. We stall for a good bit for the sake of more cheering before Hogan and Hassan get things going. Hogan draws a line for him to cross and then shoves Hassan into the corner, meaning we hit the posing. The shoulder has Hassan sprawling into the corner and it’s a wristlock so Hogan can get in his grunting.

After a quick double teaming in the corner, Hogan beats them both up and drops Hassan with a clothesline. A poke to the eye allows Shawn to come in and there’s a double big boot to keep this one sided. Daivari gets in a few chops but Shawn shows him how to do them properly as the beating continues. Hogan comes back in and sends Daivari into the barricade and post for good measure. Back in and the greatest hits continue with some elbow drops and the boot rake.

More Shawn chops keep up the control and the top rope elbow means it’s already time to tune up the band. Hogan goes after Hassan though and the distraction lets Hassan get in a pipe shot to Shawn’s back. That’s good for two because Hassan and Daivari have no chance of winning here. Hassan drops some elbows on the back and Daivari pulls on both arms at once. With the match going nowhere, Lawler lists off some countries getting to watch the show live.

Shawn’s sleeper is countered with a quick backbreaker and it’s off to the worst camel clutch I can remember in a long time. Shawn powers up into an electric chair for the break and the hot tag brings in Hogan. The double noggin knocker sets up a big boot to Daivari but since the legdrop isn’t available (due to hip replacement), Hassan hits Hogan in the back with a pipe. That’s good for two, but more importantly it triggers the Hulk Up with the big boot hitting Daivari. Hogan gets rid of Hassan and Sweet Chin Music is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a case where it depends on what you were looking for. The match wasn’t about having something competitive or really anything close to it. This was about getting Hogan out there and having him in a dream team with Shawn. It might not do much for Hassan and Daivari, but it’s not like the team is really working in the first place. It’s not like you can have Hassan and Daivari as a serious threat to these two anyway, so this was as good as it was getting.

Post match, a lot of posing ensues and they bring in a fan with a huge Hogan tattoo over his back. Yeah he’s rather out of shape but there’s something awesome about a mega fan like that getting the moment of a lifetime.

HHH promises to win the title with the Pedigree tonight.

Here are Christian and Tyson Tomko for a chat. Christian might be heading to Smackdown in the upcoming Draft, so this could be his last Raw pay per view. Therefore, he would like to address his fellow main eventers….in rap form. Batista has muscles to spare, but he has charisma like Tomko has hair, HHH and Flair have 26 titles between them and the world’s biggest nose and JBL has money but he’s boring.

That leaves us with John Cena, who talks like Snoop Dogg but looks like Corey Haim. That one even gets Tomko and Lawler is asking if JR got it. After the Draft, whether it’s Raw or Smackdown with JR or Michael Cole, Christian will be champion, because that’s how he rolls. This was funny stuff and Christian’s mega push seems imminent. The fans are certainly buying into him and that’s what matters most.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Batista won the title at Wrestlemania and HHH wants it back because he never hit the Pedigree and knows that’s enough to put Batista away. It’s not much of a story but it’s all they have here.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and Ric Flair, who gets his own entrance, handles the introduction. They circle each other for a good while until Flair offers a distraction so HHH can hammer away. It’s too early for the Pedigree as Batista slips out, with HHH showing him how close it was. Some right hands in the corner have HHH in trouble but it’s also too early for the Batista Bomb.

A backdrop works just fine and a second gets Batista out of a second Pedigree attempt. They head to the floor instead with HHH driving him back first into the barricade for a flip over into the crowd. Back in and HHH’s chops have no effect so he turns Batista around and drives shoulders to the back for a painful looking shot. A hard whip into the corner hurts Batista’s back again and Flair gets in a few shots to earn his keep.

The spinebuster cuts off the comeback for two but one heck of a clothesline drops HHH. Batista knocks him to the floor without much effort and there’s the hard whip into the steps. Back in and the powerslam plants HHH again, meaning it’s time to shake the ropes. Flair offers a distraction though and HHH gets in a belt shot to counter the Batista Bomb ala the Last Ride and the sledgehammer at Wrestlemania XVII. The big clothesline hits the referee and the Pedigree connects immediately thereafter because of course it does.

Cue another referee (putting his shirt on as he runs down the ramp) as Batista hits the spinebuster for two. Some running clotheslines in the corner have HHH rocked but he kicks the referee low. Flair has to be dealt with again and the Pedigree is countered with a catapult into the buckle. That’s shrugged off for a low blow so HHH can hammer away in the corner, only to get Batista Bombed out for the pin (again, just like Wrestlemania XVII).

Rating: C-. There was a lot in this one and a good chunk of it was a bunch of stuff that felt like the finish. I’m not sure why they were going with so many big spots from a four year old Undertaker match but at least it’s being taken from a good match. The other problem was how much this felt like a HHH match/story instead of Batista’s. Heaven forbid we don’t go a month without a HHH moment, but the match itself wasn’t that bad.

Post match Batista poses as HHH shoves Flair and Pedigrees the referee. Just in case you had lost focus on what really matters you see.

Overall Rating: C. It came, it went, it was a show. This was one of those pay per views that felt like it was only there because a pay per view was scheduled. The Hogan match felt big and really, that’s about it. The main event came off like a long form house show match and nothing has really changed. That’s not to say it’s a bad show, as the opener and the Last Man Standing match are both good, but it’s a show that doesn’t feel important in any way. It’s time for something fresh and the fallout from Wrestlemania doesn’t quality. Perfectly watchable show, but nothing interesting or memorable aside from Hogan.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – April 25, 2005: Something About The Show Being In England

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 2005
Location: NEC Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re over in England this week for the go home show for Backlash. I’m not sure what to expect this week, but you can probably bet on a slow form HHH promo where he talks about how incredible the Pedigree is. Other than that, we need to get ready for the pay per view, which isn’t the strongest card so far. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Coach is here after JR got beaten up last week.

Here’s Batista to open things up for a change. He’s here to honor a great man who gives his body to the business. That would be Jim Ross, who managed to do last week what it took Batista two years to do: beat HHH. Batista even puts on JR’s hat for a visual which works more than it should. Why didn’t JR tell us that he had wrestling skills? JR beat a ten time World Champion last week and that means a JR chant.

Cue HHH so Batista gives JR his hat back because things are getting serious. HHH talks about how serious this is, so Batista says he’ll defend the title against JR at Backlash instead. Since HHH can’t get a joke, Batista shows us the clip of JR getting the pin last week and raises his hand. HHH’s jacket comes off and the fight is almost on but HHH bails instead. The JR stuff was amusing and Batista needling HHH is always funny.

JR takes over for Coach on commentary.

We recap Viscera helping Trish last week and earning some, ahem, favors, in return.

Viscera and Trish Stratus are out to dinner together, though Viscera has to apologize for being late because he was buying condoms (and it’s about a ten pack). More on this later, thank goodness.

Chris Jericho vs. Sylvain Grenier

Grenier starts fast with a flapjack so Jericho chops away, only to get suplexed right back down for two. The chinlock goes on a minute in, because Grenier can’t go more than a minute without a chinlock. Jericho fights up with some forearms and the bulldog, followed by the enziguri. Conway gets in the distraction though, only to have Jericho slap on the Walls for the fast win. Just a step above a squash but at least they didn’t do anything ridiculous.

Post match the double teaming is on but Shelton Benjamin runs in for the save. Jericho isn’t exactly grateful so Shelton gives him a t-bone. Kind of a mixed message there no? Shelton: “WHO’S YOUR B**** NOW???”

Back at the restaurant, Trish thanks Viscera for what happened last week so orders bangers and mash in a Cockney accent. Viscera tells her that he is a banger who likes to mash, so Trish calls him the horniest guy on the planet. Viscera orders an entire page of the menu.

Christian and Tyson Tomko are in the back when Ric Flair comes in and tells Christian to take care of Batista tonight. Don’t worry though because Christian has this and he doesn’t need HHH’s help. The fans seem rather pleased by this one. A fight nearly breaks out but Tomko gets rid of Flair.

We look at Backlash tickets going on sale.

Here are Christian and Tomko for a chat. After saying Canadians are smarter than Brits, Christian talks about how he won’t have any problems doing what HHH can’t do: beating Batista with a real finisher. Then he’s heading to Smackdown to beating the Ali G ripoff John Cena, because that’s how he rolls. Cue Kane to beat up Tomko as Christian runs off.

Lita can’t wait for Trish to finally get what she deserves.

Christian is hiding from Kane and asks Flair for some help. HHH comes out but rather angrily tells Christian that they can talk business.

And now, the Masterlock Challenge, because it worked so well last week. The money is offered (pounds instead of dollars), the plant is pulled from the audience, and Masters wins. This takes several minutes.

In the back, Coach asks how long it is going to take Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan to self destruct. Shawn doesn’t buy it because they have big egos after they’ve done it all. Coach is tossed out and Shawn introduces Hogan, who introduces Gene Okerlund for the formal interview. Shawn talks about looking around the locker room last week and needing someone to fight with him. That’s why he asked about Hogan two weeks ago right?

Hogan talks about the Hall of Fame and the fans wanting one more match. After hanging out with Big Ben and eating some tea and crumpets, he had to give the fans what they wanted and deal with Muhammad and Daivari. So what are you gonna do? Shawn not being able to tear the shirt is funny at least. Just a quick hype interview for the big tag match.

Here are a bunch of Divas with Christy Hemme saying they’re here to party. They call out the ladies of the Daily Star, with Lawler rather approving of their status as Page Three girls. I can get that as they’re rather fetching, but would anyone like to have a match anytime soon? We’re over an hour into the show and we’ve had one match which didn’t even last three minutes.

They’re all here to promote William Regal’s new book (which is incredible) so here he is in person, with Tajiri as a bonus. Regal is at his hammy best here, soaking in the home country cheers and encouraging them a bit. Dancing ensues but here are Hassan and Daivari to cut them off. As Regal’s eyes bug out, Hassan accuses England of being a follower of all things America. Challenge, accepted.

Muhammad Hassan/Khosrow Daivari vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Non-title. Joined in progress with Regal beating up both of them so the villains take a quick breather on the floor. Tajiri comes in for a standing moonsault onto Daivari but it’s quickly off to Hassan to take over on Regal. The slow beatdown ensues as we see a pro Waylon Mercy sign in the crowd. Daivari gets two off a neckbreaker but it’s a collision with Hassan for a double knockdown. Regal kicks Daivari away and the hot tag brings in Tajiri for the rapid fire kicks. The Downward Spiral plants Tajiri though and Hassan knocks Regal down on the floor. Daivari’s guillotine legdrop finishes Tajiri.

Rating: D. And that pretty much ends anything Regal and Tajiri could do with the titles. The best thing that can be said here is that Regal, the hometown boy who has a book coming out and is a champion, didn’t take the fall in this non-title match which could have had any other team putting Hassan and Daivari over. I know the tag division doesn’t mean anything, but I’d love to hear how this was the best solution they had.

Post match the beatdown stays on with no Hogan to make the save, because that interview earlier was backstage in another country.

Back at the restaurant, Trish asks Viscera what his name means. It means inner organs, but his outer organ works just fine. Trish is scared off so she offers to knock Christy Hemme out so Viscera can do whatever to her. As we move past that as fast as possible, Viscera asks her to dance and destroys a tray of dishes by mistake. Viscera: “Uh, check please?”

Edge vs. Val Venis

Edge jumps him before the bell and kicks Venis in the face as we get one of those awesome British chants that I can’t understand. We’re already on the chinlock as the fans switch to a HARDY chant. Val fights up with a hot shot and clothesline as the fans just go away for the comeback. A half nelson slam looks to set up the Money Shot but Edge gets the knees up. The spear finishes Venis.

Rating: D. Just a quick match here and it wasn’t very good. It’s almost strange to see Edge win a regular match like this as Venis could have been anyone here. This doesn’t really do much to set up Edge vs. Benoit on Sunday but it was nice to throw a little curve in there for a change.

Post match Edge puts on a leglock and ignores the chants for Matt. Edge switches to a Crossface for some salt rubbing until Benoit comes in for the save and brawl.

HHH, Christian and Flair come in to see Coach, who is now guest referee. Flair will be guest timekeeper and HHH is going to be Christian’s problem solver as the old trope is brought up again. HHH won’t let Coach call Eric Bischoff to confirm everything.

Viscera and Trish have drinks, with Viscera having some mouthwash (which he swallows). Hang on though as Trish slaps him, saying he gets nothing if he doesn’t destroy Kane first. That’s cool with Viscera, but he wants a little down payment. Trish flashes him and his eyes bug out.

The Diva Search is coming because we’re that lucky.

Christian vs. Batista

Non-title with Coach as referee, Flair as timekeeper and HHH at ringside. Batista isn’t wasting time this week and starts throwing Christian around with ease, including a trip out to the floor. Back in and Batista sends him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs, followed by a heck of a whip into the corner. Batista hits a powerslam but hang on as Coach has to tie his shoe. HHH gets in a low blow and a thumb to the eye as we take a break.

Back with Christian choking on the ropes and getting two off a splash. The chinlock doesn’t last long as JR rips into Coach for general purposes. Christian’s springboard dropkick gets two more but Batista fights up, only to get choked by Flair. Christian sends him throat first into the rope and a neckbreaker gets two.

The comeback is on in a hurry with clotheslines and the powerslam but a Flair distraction cuts him off. Christian gets caught in an electric chair but Coach hurts his shoulder. Batista beats everyone up and tosses HHH, setting up the Batista Bomb on Christian. Coach is out so Batista grabs the hand to slap the mat for three, which counts here.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t quite Austin vs. Love but it did the job well enough. Christian isn’t quite ready to break through the glass ceiling but they would be a little nuts to not send him to Smackdown to go after Cena’s title. The seeds have been planted and it wasn’t going too far to see him in this match.

Post match Batista beats up HHH and Flair but walks into a Pedigree. HHH posts and shouts a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rather different kind of show and it didn’t work out that well. The wrestling was barely there for the first half and then it became clear that Sunday is just a two match show. The tag match is going to be more about nostalgia and a one time moment while the main event is a rematch from a not great original match. That doesn’t sound like the best show, which is probably why it’s such a forgotten event. Pretty bad show here, but it could have been a lot worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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