Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

In addition to the two main events, there’s a third big match that people never thought would actually happen. Back on January 4, 2010, Bret Hart returned to the company for the first time in over twelve years. After burying the hatchet with Shawn Michaels, there was only one score left to settle: Vince McMahon. Therefore, it’s Bret vs. Vince, naturally in a no holds barred match. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Barretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Gaspard and JTG are Cryme Tyme, Tatsu is a talented Japanese wrestler who didn’t go anywhere, Slam Master J. is Jesse in a bad rap gimmick, Kozlov is a Russian mixed martial arts fighter, Gallows is a big power guy, Reks is a surfer, Archer is another big power guy, Croft and Barretta are a team called the Dudebusters and Hart-Smith is Kidd’s partner in the Hart Dynasty. The NXT rookies (from back when NXT was a competition) are watching from the stage.

Primo and J. are sent out in the first thirty seconds but the ring is still really full. Henry puts out the Dudebusters and Chavo, only to get dumped by Khali. As you might expect, a bunch of people get together to put Khali out as well. Cryme Tyme gets together to put out Gallows but Shad eliminates JTG. Things settle down for a change but there are still too many people in there.

Ryder and Funaki save themselves from elimination. Masters catches Finlay in the Masterlock, only to get kicked in the face to put Chris out. Kozlov gets rid of the Hart Dynasty but Knox gets rid of Kozlov. Funaki and Goldust are out next with Regal putting Gaspard out a few seconds later. Finlay dumps Regal and Ryder eliminates Reks. We’re down to Santino, Tatsu, Yang, Ryder, Finlay, Archer, Carlito and Knox. The fans get behind Santino and he brings out the Cobra to clean house, only to get dumped by Finlay, making him the most hated man in the stadium.

Yang fires off some nice kicks to Archer but he’s quickly eliminated, as is Archer via a kick from Tatsu. To show how annoying Striker can get with nicknames, he calls Tatsu “the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim.” Uh, sure. Hornswoggle makes his annual appearance to throw Finlay the shillelagh. Knox gets knocked out and there’s a tadpole splash, followed by Carlito being tossed. Ryder dumps Knox and Finlay from behind but Ryder goes after Hornswoggle, allowing Tatsu to kick him out for the win at 8:34.

Rating: D+. This would be the traditional not great battle royal but it was cool to see someone young getting a win for a change. You could see a lot of new names showing up around the company, though a lot of them really never went anywhere. Unfortunately that would include Tatsu, who never went much higher than this, partially due to ECW not being around to take away some of the roster spots.

We open with another fly over.

Fantasia (from American Idol) sings America the Beautiful.

The set is a big pyramid made of Titantron screens. It’s another cool idea.

The opening video talks about how many people spent their lives reaching this night but now the page turns. For some it’s a new story and for some it’s the end. Tonight is their chance to earn their moment, which would become the most important thing Wrestlemania offered in years to come.

There’s a really cool miniature cylinder that lowers from the ceiling before every match with the Titantron video playing.

Tag Team Titles: R-Truth/John Morrison vs. The Miz/Big Show

R-Truth is a rapper still around today and is challenging along with Morrison. Miz is US Champion and there are still four Tag Team Title belts a year after the titles were unified. The champs have their themes put together and it really doesn’t work. Miz and Morrison get things going with John scoring off a slam before it’s off to Truth.

That’s about it for the good times though as Show comes in and throws Truth across the ring. Morrison gets knocked off the apron but he’s still able to kick Show off the middle rope to save Truth. Back to Miz vs. Morrison as Truth stupidly dives at Show, earning himself a ram into the post. Morrison rolls out of the Skull Crushing Finale and into a nice rollup for two, only to have Show knock him cold to retain at 3:26.

Rating: D. Well they made good time. I’m not sure why they got out of there so fast but maybe the rest of the show was running long. It’s not like this was missing much by turning it into a Raw match so it’s acceptable. The tag division was getting stagnant again but at least Miz was flying up the charts.

Video on Wrestlemania week in Phoenix.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

These three were part of a group called Legacy but the young guys (Ted Jr. and Cody if that’s not clear) rebelled, basically turning Randy face again in the process. This is officially a triple threat but it starts as a glorified handicap match. Rhodes gets clotheslined to the floor so Orton can stomp Ted down. The numbers quickly catch up with him though and the double stomping begins to some INSANE booing.

They take turns holding Orton so the other can get in some right hands, followed by a double suplex. A DiBiase clothesline stops Orton’s comeback but as is the case in almost every triple threat match ever, the two who work together get in a fight over who gets the pin. They fight to the floor and the crowd is suddenly much more silent. Striker: “Perhaps a future Wrestlemania main event right here.”

Orton makes his comeback and Rhodes takes out DiBiase by mistake. Striker says that’s Wrestlemania experience. Most people would call it wrestling experience in general but Striker is the professional. The double elevated DDT, which Cole has never seen before (certainly not at Wrestlemania), takes Rhodes and DiBiase down. The Punt knocks Rhodes out and the RKO ends DiBiase at 9:01.

Rating: C. So much for Rhodes and DiBiase. Cody would be fine but DiBiase never did anything in WWE after this (to be fair he hadn’t done much in the first place). Orton was on fire again as his style and finisher are way too easy to cheer, yet for some reason WWE insists on making him a heel, even though the crowd is almost always going to turn him back.

Vickie Guerrero and her fellow heel divas promise to win their ten Divas tag. Jillian Hall (now a horrible singer, which may have been designed to make fun of Brooke Hogan) comes in to sing Simply the Best. All of the other women leave so here’s Santino for a Slim Jim commercial. He takes a bite and Jillian becomes Mae Young. Another bite turns her into Gene Okerlund (in the same dress) and a third turns Okerlund into Melina. No more biting as Santino leaves with another good looking woman.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Money in the Bank with TEN ENTRANTS. Thankfully they would split it up next year where they went with two eight man versions. Bourne is a high flier, Swagger is a really good amateur wrestler, Ziggler has gone from nothing to a solid midcarder, McIntyre is an arrogant young Scottish wrestler and the Intercontinental Champion and Kane has a black eye for reasons that aren’t explained.

Standard wild brawl to start with MVP throwing in a ladder but Drew intercepts it and climbs until Matt makes the save. Seven guys all try to climb the same ladder to predictable results. Bourne gets chokeslammed over the top and down onto a bunch of people. Kofi knocks the ladder over to send Drew and Matt into the top rope. Now it’s Christian going up but Ziggler runs up and pulls him down, which is called a Zig Zag. That’s quite the stretch.

MVP knocks Kane to the floor but walks into Pay Dirt (jumping downward spiral) from Shelton. Swagger uses the top of the ladder to stop some climbs until Bourne drops him as well. Christian and Matt bring in ladders and slide them into the rings of the one standing, creating two platforms and crushing Swagger in the middle in the process. They climb up onto the platforms while Bourne is on the side of the ladder and this isn’t ending well.

Swagger shoves Matt’s ladder away and Bourne breaks up a Killswitch onto the platform by knocking Christian face first into the ladder. Instead of going for the case, Evan hits Air Bourne (shooting star) and then tries to go up, allowing Matt to hiptoss him to the mat in a huge crash. Swagger shoves Matt onto the bridged ladder but gets pulled down by MVP. Shelton and MVP fight to the floor where Kane takes them both out with a ladder.

Back in and Kane shoves the ladder over to drop Ziggler before throwing the ladder away. He’s not done though as Ziggler gets chokeslammed onto another ladder and then crushed inside of it. Kane crushes him so much that he breaks the ladder in two. Kofi is back in with Trouble in Paradise but now he has no ladder (because getting another of the more than half dozen on the floor is out of the question) so he gets an idea.

Kingston picks up both halves of the ladder and uses them as stilts, only to have McIntyre break it up because the stilts idea, while VERY creative, is also kind of stupid. Matt stops Drew’s attempt by crotching him on the top rope but Christian goes up to slow Hardy. They both have to knock Kane off, followed by a reverse DDT from Christian to put them both down. Christian goes back up but Swagger knocks him down and pulls down the briefcase (taking his sweet time to do so) for the win at 13:44.

Rating: C+. This is the weakest of the Money in the Banks that they’ve had yet and again it’s due to having so many people. In the last five minutes of this match, several people just disappeared while everyone else did their thing. If you’re not going to do anything with most of the people, stop having them in the match and put them in a match somewhere else on the card.

Swagger would become one of the weaker World Champions of all time, which is a big reason why he’s in the spot he’s in five years later. Instead of being a solid midcarder, he’s that guy who used to be World Champion and has fallen this far. It’s a major problem with something like Money in the Bank: instead of building someone else up, someone jumps to the title scene but doesn’t have any roots to support them. It happened with Swagger and it would happen again later.

Extreme Rules ad.

Hall of Fame, with Ted DiBiase headlining. He called this one of the few moments you can’t put a price on and made $100 bills fall from the ceiling, even though that’s not something he would have done in his day.

The Class of 2010 includes Stu Hart (represented by most of his kids), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon (in a wheelchair), Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker (he deserves it), Gorgeous George (represented by his wife) and Ted DiBiase. It’s a bit of a smaller class this year which is something they need to address in the future. Something they don’t need to address is the awesome music that plays for this every year. It’s really good stuff.

We recap Sheamus vs. HHH. Sheamus won the Raw World Title in December 2009 in a huge upset but then lost it at No Way Put 2010 when HHH eliminated him in the Elimination Chamber for his first loss (assuming you ignore ECW). Sheamus wanted to fight HHH one on one at Wrestlemania to prove that the pin in the Chamber was a fluke. HHH compared Sheamus to himself back in 1996 when he tried to fight Ultimate Warrior and got crushed (you almost never hear about that anymore). It’s a simple story here but one that has worked for years.

Sheamus vs. HHH

They circle each other to start and HHH slaps him in the face. An early Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so it’s a suplex and knee drop for two instead. Sheamus’ attempt to bail outside doesn’t work as HHH drags him back in for a Figure Four because we haven’t praised Flair recently enough. Sheamus grabs the ropes and takes it outside for a whip into the steps as Striker tries to dub HHH the Ace of Spades.

Two straight Irish Curse backbreakers put HHH down as the match slows a lot. An ax handle gets two and some simple right hands to the face get the same. We hit the chinlock because this is the point in a WWE style match where you would put on a chinlock. After a powerslam, Sheamus grabs an armbar. Dude come on. HHH fights up out of the devastating armbar (because nothing else had been done to his arm) and grabs a DDT.

The high knee and facebuster get two but Sheamus counters the Pedigree into the Brogue Kick for two (of course HHH gets to be one of if not the first person to kick out of it). After the spinebuster sends Sheamus to the apron, another Brogue Kick drops HHH. No cover though as HHH pops up and hits the Pedigree for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C+. Good power match here, assuming you ignore HHH kicking out of one of Sheamus’ finishers (to be fair it wasn’t his big finisher yet, as a Razor’s Edge called the High Cross was still his go to move) and get the pin that he didn’t need. Sheamus would win the rematch at Extreme Rules 2010 in the standard formula: HHH wins the big match on the big stage but loses the rematch as a consolation prize.

We recap Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk. Mysterio had cost Punk a spot in Money in the Bank so Punk and his Straight Edge Society (a stable led by Punk as a near religious figure who would save them from their lives of addiction by the powers of a straight edge lifestyle) went after Rey, including interrupting Rey bringing his daughter into the ring on her birthday. Rey wouldn’t fight with his family there so Punk branded him a coward. The match was set for Wrestlemania and if Rey loses, he has to join the Straight Edge Society.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has Luke Gallows and Serena (a talented wrestler who rarely got in the ring in WWE) with him. Before the match, Punk accuses the 70,000+ people here of being on drugs or alcohol, thinking it would make all of their problems go away. After tonight’s win, Punk will see all these people join him as one nation under Punk with sobriety for all. This year Rey is dressed as one of the aliens from Avatar which didn’t work all that well as it looked like his normal attire outside of the piece of black hair on the back of his mask.

Punk (with G.I. Joe themed trunks) jumps him from behind to start as Striker says Punk’s mind is a vile pigsty. Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe but pulls himself up to avoid a baseball slide, sending Punk up against the post. That’s not enough to slow Punk down though as he drops Rey face first onto the steps and puts on a chinlock. Rey gets up but his springboard cross body is caught in a belly to belly for two.

Punk holds him down with a test of strength grip until Rey fights up and springboards to the top for a moonsault into a DDT (that looked way better than I was expecting). Another moonsault is caught in the GTS (Go To Sleep) but Rey grabs the rope to save himself. Rey kicks him down and tries a frog splash but Punk sits up just in time. Back up and Serena saves Punk from a 619, only to have it connect a few seconds later, setting up the springboard splash for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: C. This could have been good with some more time but there’s only so much you can do for a big match in less than seven minutes. The Straight Edge Society was a cool concept and had a lot of potential but they lost almost every important match they had, which ultimately led to the stable falling apart.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. As mentioned earlier, Bret returned on the January 4, 2010 Monday Night Raw and seemed to make peace with Vince, only to have Vince kick him low. Eventually Bret broke his leg in a car wreck backstage which was finally enough for Vince to sign for the match. Bret agreed to wrestle with the injury after being called a coward. Vince signed the contract and gloated, but as he turned around, Bret’s cast was on the table and his leg was just fine. You would think seeing Bret goldbricking for years would have taught Vince something but no one ever seemed to get the idea.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Anything goes. For reasons that I’ll never understand, they remixed Bret’s music for his return. Bret is in jean shorts here because this is going to be a fight instead of a match. Before the match, Vince says Bret deserves a Wrestlemania sized screwing. Therefore, he’s paid to have the Hart Family at ringside (well at least the ones that will talk to him) as lumberjacks and Bret’s brother Bruce (in sunglasses of course) is going to be guest referee.

We’re still not ready to go though because Bret says that the Harts were on to Vince in the first place and it’s Vince that is going to get screwed. Bret slugs him out to the floor to start and the Hart Dynasty gives him a Hart Attack off the top. Back in and Bret starts in on the knee, sending Vince bailing to the floor. He can’t quite get underneath the ring but does find a crowbar.

Bret punches it out of his hand though and beats on him for a bit, followed by stomping away at the “lower abdomen”. Someone throws Bret a chair so he can have a seat for a bit. Bret beats on him with the chair for a good while and Vince appears to be in shock. The Sharpshooter finally makes Vince tap at 11:09.

Rating: A. This was all it needed to be and exactly what people were expecting. Neither guy is a wrestler anymore so having the Hart Family, especially Kidd and Hart-Smith, helped a good bit. There was never any doubt as to what this was going to be and while it went a bit longer than it needed to, it did everything it needed to.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Atlanta. Cole promises a great guest host.

The attendance is 72,219, again not announced as a record.

We recap Edge vs. Chris Jericho. They had been the Tag Team Champions in June 2009 but Edge had destroyed his Achilles and put him on the shelf for a very long time. He returned early at the 2010 Royal Rumble to win in a major surprise. Edge immediately chose to challenge Jericho for the Smackdown World Title because they suddenly hated each other, even though there wasn’t a very strong reason for them to. Edge threatened to spear Jericho over and over again which was really the only thing he said during the buildup.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho is defending and shoulders Edge down to start before Edge charges into a boot in the corner. The early threat of a spear sends Jericho bailing to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and hits one of his own to put Edge on the floor. Striker name drops Sexton Hardcastle (Edge’s pre-WWE name) as Jericho puts on a chinlock. Back up and gets draped over the top rope, only to knock Jericho off the apron and into the announcers’ table.

That goes nowhere so Jericho rolls through a high cross body for two. They’re really not burning the place up out there. The Walls and Codebreaker are both blocked but the spear is countered into the Walls for our first big spot. Edge rolls out of that as well and gets two off a small package. The Lionsault misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two more. Jericho walks into the Impaler for the same but Edge is winded.

With Edge in trouble, Jericho loads up a spear of his own (Striker: “WHAT A GENIUS MOVE!”) only to charge into a boot to the face. Edge tries his own spear but runs into a one knee Codebreaker for two. Jericho starts in on the ankle before putting on the Walls. He gets smarter though and goes with a single leg crab which really cranks on the ankle. Edge gets to the ropes because it’s just a half crab so Jericho goes to get the belt. As you would expect, the referee is bumped a few seconds later and the belt shot gets two on Edge. The Codebreaker connects for the clean(ish) pin to retain the title at 15:48.

Rating: B-. This took some time but was really getting going near the end. Again though, it feels like it got cut off short and that’s getting annoying tonight. At least it worked while it lasted, especially for one of Edge’s first major matches back. This is still a weird feud but since it’s WWE, you know this isn’t ending with one match.

Post match Edge goes after Jericho again and throws him on the announcers’ table. A big run down the tables sets up a spear to drive Jericho through the barricade and set up a rematch. That would have worked a lot better if the pin had come off the belt shot instead of the Codebreaker.

We look at the pre-show battle royal because the matches haven’t been cut short enough already.

Maryse/Michelle McCool/Alicia Fox/Layla/Vickie Guerrero vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Michelle is Women’s Champion and Maryse is Divas Champion. All of the villains save for Vickie bail to start, leaving her to face Beth. Vickie gets beaten up in the corner to start but Michelle makes the save with a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to Kelly. Everyone comes in and it’s time for a parade of finishers until it’s only Beth left standing against Vickie. Michelle saves the praying Guerrero and lays out Beth. Kelly is still down so Vickie goes up top (again with help from Michelle and Layla) for a “hog splash” and the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. Well at least it was quick. The Divas were in a weird place here as they were trying to find a new top name but everyone was kind of getting lost in the shuffle. Laycool (Layla and Michelle) were trying but they needed some top stars. Kelly eventually became the main star, even though she was just a model who could only kind of work a match. Anyway, this was a nothing match that was only there for the Vickie stuff, which was another problem around this time.

We recap Batista vs. John Cena. Batista had helped the McMahons out of a few jams so he was granted a title shot at Cena’s Raw World Title right after Cena had won the title in the Elimination Chamber. This turned into a feud over who was the bigger star in the last five years because Batista thought he should be the face of the company. Batista had won their first major showdown at Summerslam 2008 but Cena said he was here because he loves it instead of for the money like Batista did.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista is defending and you can feel how big this really is. Cena is introduced by the United States Air Force Honor Guard Drill Team. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with Cena but that’s the standard anymore. They do the big power lockup to start and Cena actually takes him down with a headlock. That goes nowhere so Batista fights up and hits a clothesline to the back of the head to take over.

Batista gets into his gloating power offense but Cena grabs a quick suplex to get a breather. An early AA attempt is countered into a DDT for two and now Batista gets his real advantage. We hit the chinlock with a body scissors (Striker: “Look at this potential submission hold!” Just stop. Please.) but Cena fights up and wins a slugout, only to get caught in a neckbreaker. Now we get the real Cena comeback with all his usual stuff, including the STF which sends Batista crawling to the ropes. A quick spear gets two for the champ and both guys are down.

They head to the top for a test of strength on the ropes (that’s a new one) until Cena headbutts him to the mat. A top rope Shuffle looks to set up the AA but Batista counters into the Batista Bomb for two. Another AA attempt is countered into a reverse suplex but Cena counters into a tilt-a-whirl slam, only to muscle Batista up into an AA for a really close near fall. Cena goes up top again for the Fameasser but dives into a spinebuster (Striker: “That’s how he broke his neck the last time!” No it wasn’t Striker.). Another Batista Bomb is countered into the STF and Batista taps at 13:30 to make Cena a nine time World Champion.

Rating: B+. That’s the only kind of match these two needed to have as they’re just beating the heck out of each other the whole way with big move after big move. It’s also a big stadium style match which almost always makes for a really good atmosphere. Much like the build, I’m not sure what else there is to say here. It’s Cena vs. Batista at Wrestlemania. You really don’t need any more of an explanation.

We recap the main event, which all stems from last year. Shawn’s loss has eaten at him for a year now and he has to beat Undertaker to exercise his demons once and for all. Undertaker wouldn’t fight him again so Shawn cost him the World Title at No Way Out 2010. That was enough for the match to be made but Undertaker wanted Shawn’s career on the line. Shawn agreed because if he can’t beat Undertaker, he doesn’t want to wrestle anymore.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and no countout. Shawn just walks down but Undertaker makes his big entrance by rising up through the stage. Shawn breaks up the staredown with a throat slit of his own so Undertaker pounds on him in the corner early. Snake Eyes and the big boot set up Old School but Undertaker might have tweaked his knee. Shawn goes right after the knee to break up a chokeslam and starts in on the arm for some reason. Striker: “Shawn Michaels is very adept at submission grappling.” For the love of all things good and holy will someone SHUT HIM UP???

The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Undertaker up against the ropes and it’s back to the knee. Undertaker knocks him to the floor and teases the Taker Dive but Shawn charges back in and grabs the leg. A reverse Figure Four doesn’t work and Shawn is sent into the post to keep Undertaker in control. The apron legdrop is a pretty stupid move and Shawn slaps on the Figure Four.

Undertaker does the sit up and turns it over so Shawn immediately breaks. At least he’s smart enough to let go as so many other people just let it stay on forever. Since Shawn let go so fast, his knee is good enough for the forearm and nipup, only to walk into a chokeslam for two. The Tombstone doesn’t work as Shawn crawls down Undertaker’s body and grabs an ankle lock, complete with a grapevine.

Undertaker gets Shawn on his back and kicks him in the face to break it up (Shawn’s stunned look is great). The big man heads outside but has to catch Shawn’s springboard cross body, countering it into a Tombstone on the floor. Somehow that only gets two so it’s a Last Ride but Shawn counters with an X Factor/Undertaker’s leg gives out (some combination of both) to give Michaels two. The top rope elbow hits knees and thankfully Undertaker’s knees are more banged up than Shawn.

Hell’s Gate goes on out of nowhere but Shawn counters into a rollup for two in an awesome reversal. Sweet Chin Music is good for two more. Another superkick is blocked and now the Last Ride connects for a big near fall. Striker: “We’ve auditioned our entire lives for this moment!” It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but the Last Ride is escaped and Undertaker takes Sweet Chin Music onto the table. Shawn’s moonsault onto the table only hits Undertaker’s legs and both guys are done.

Back in and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music as well as he can but Undertaker kicks out again. Yet another attempt at the superkick is countered into a chokeslam. Undertaker’s knee won’t let him cover so it’s a Tombstone for two, even with Undertaker’s tongue sticking out. There go the straps and Undertaker tells Shawn to stay down. Shawn is on his knees and does another throat slit, admitting that he just can’t do it. Undertaker doesn’t move so Shawn slaps him in the face, triggering a jumping Tombstone to end Shawn’s career at 24:01.

Rating: A. It’s not an A+ because it’s just a hair beneath last year but sweet goodness this is amazing. The leg work made for a good story and the symbolism of the second throat slit was perfect. Shawn going out at Wrestlemania really was the only way to go about it and this was the kind of match he deserved to go out on. Outstanding stuff from one of the best big match performers ever.

That isn’t to take away from Undertaker though, who continues to take this Streak and his career to places that never seemed possible before. Ever since that Batista match it’s been classic after classic in an amazing career resurgence. Undertaker ending Shawn’s career was great and the jumping Tombstone made it even better. This was more than just trading finishers as the story told of Undertaker trying to hang on and Shawn fighting for everything he had and just not being good enough. This was great stuff and another classic.

Undertaker poses and helps Shawn up. Shawn soaks in all the cheers and takes his time going up the aisle, shaking a lot of hands. Shawn: “I’m going to drive my kids crazy in three weeks!” After applauding the fans, Shawn walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a heck of a show with the double main event taking up the last fourth of the show. There’s nothing too terrible on here save for the opener and Divas match which combined to be less than seven minutes in the ring. Some of the stuff in the middle isn’t great but it’s certainly good enough to get by. This was another really good show as Wrestlemania is on a hot streak. Well save for XXV of course.

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo:

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/04/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvi-goodbye-mr-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Houston worked very well back in 2001 and nothing has changed since then right? In addition to the Undertaker vs. Michaels showdown, we also have World Title matches of Randy Orton vs. HHH and John Cena vs. Big Show vs. Edge. It might work better in execution but this really isn’t the most inspiring show in the world. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Unified Tag Team Titles: Primo and Carlito vs. The Miz/John Morrison

This is another lumberjack match but it means something for a change. In this case we have the Smackdown Tag Team Champions Carlito and Primo and the Raw Tag Team Champions Miz and Morrison fighting to FINALLY unify the two titles into one, as they should have been years ago. Primo and Morrison get things going and John has to slide in through his legs to avoid being knocked into the lumberjacks. That’s fine with Primo as he pulls off a handstand in the corner into a headscissors to send Morrison outside.

Off to Miz vs. Carlito with the latter being sent out to the floor. Some left hands knock the lumberjacks back but Morrison pulls Carlito off the top and down onto the other set of lumberjacks. Miz grabs a chinlock followed by a HARD running knee to the face from Morrison. Carlito finally comes back with an electric chair drop and it’s hot tag to Primo.

Some dropkicks have Miz and Morrison in trouble and everything breaks down. Miz and Carlito head outside, leaving Morrison to roll through a high cross body for two of his own. Back up and Morrison loads up a reverse suplex but Primo catches him in a Backstabber on the way down for the pin and both titles at 8:21.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and made sure that it did didn’t get boring as the show was just getting started. Above all else, it’s nice to have something on the line again in one of these things. The Colons winning was a surprise and it was a good idea to give the good guys the win, even if Miz and Morrison were popular in their own right. One last thing: notice the amount of time spent on the match. That’s going to come up later.

The opening video has a bunch of people talking about their Wrestlemania moments for the big anniversary show. As usual, this turns into a discussion of their matches tonight and how they all want to steal the show.

We see the crowd for the first time. The ring looks like a drop of water in the middle.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane

MVP is US Champion again, Henry has Tony Atlas (you might remember him from Wrestlemania II), Finlay has Hornswoggle and Shelton is still golden. Christian and Shelton go outside for ladders and it’s Henry and Kane ruling the ring. The big ladder is quickly brought in to take the giants down but Kofi dropkicks the ladder down to drop Christian and Shelton. He tweaks his knee though and it’s Kane and Henry climbing the ladder.

The normal sized people get together to take care of the giants but are quickly shoved down, leaving Kane and Henry to keep fighting. Kane’s advantage is short lived as Henry breaks it up and throws the big ladder over the top for reasons that aren’t clear. Finlay gets back in and takes out Kane and Shelton with a suicide dive, followed by Christian doing the same. MVP does the same thing, leaving Punk and Kofi to nail stereo suicide dives. Shelton isn’t going to be outdone and climbs a ladder for a BIG flip dive down onto everyone else. That certainly got the crowd going.

With nothing else left, Henry starts to climb in the corner. Finlay doesn’t want an earthquake and smacks him with the shillelagh, allowing Hornswoggle to climb his stepladder for a tadpole splash onto everyone but Finlay and Henry. It’s Finlay setting up a ladder Kofi dives through the middle to drop kick him back down. Kofi takes too long going up though and Finlay throws the stepladder at him for a save.

Henry is back in now and picks up the ladder, only to have Kofi run up one side. He can’t fight that much gravity though and falls into Henry’s arms (great hand speed there by Mark) for a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP takes Henry down and there’s a ladder bridged between the top rope and into the standing ladder. Shelton dives into a powerbomb from MVP but Punk makes a save.

Christian breaks that up and stands on the bridged ladder for a Killswitch (new name for the Unprettier) to take Punk down (mostly botched as Christian fell first but it must be terrifying up there). To make things even worse, another ladder is set up on the floor next to the bridged ladder, giving us a three ladder structure.

Every the daredevil, Shelton runs up the ladders to catch MVP with a sunset bomb but botches it even worse (understandable this time I would think) by not pulling MVP down and sending him face first into every rung of the ladder. The fans make sure to rip on him for it because their expectations are ridiculous. Shelton gets their attention back by powerbombing MVP over the top and down onto Henry and Atlas. Benjamin isn’t done yet as he knocks Finlay off a ladder and onto the bridged one.

The bridged ladder is set up next to the already standing one and it’s a double climb by Christian and Shelton. Christian knocks him off and climbs back up, only to have Punk springboard onto the other ladder. Punk gets knocked backwards and hangs on by a foot, leaving Kane to come in and pull Christian down. Punk pulls himself up though and kicks Kane down, leaving Punk to win for the second year in a row at 14:24.

Rating: B. This year tried to build up some more high spots but they got a bit too big and dangerous with some of them and couldn’t quite pull them off. Kane and Henry were interesting additions but Henry never got close to the briefcase and both were more roadblocks than anything else. Punk winning again is a cool idea and the fans were surprised when he pulled it off. Good stuff here, but a step below the others and a lot of that is due to how many people were in the match.

Video on Axxess and Wrestlemania week in Houston.

Here’s one of the reasons this show isn’t remembered very fondly: a TEN MINUTE KID ROCK MEDLEY. There’s no story, there’s no music video, there’s nothing but Kid Rock and his band performing for over ten minutes. After about nine, the 25 Divas in a battle royal come out, many of which are here for the first time in years but none of them are introduced because Kid Rock is still playing. This goes on longer than the pre-show Tag Team Title match. He FINALLY wraps up at about ten and a half minutes.

Divas Battle Royal

Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria Kanellis, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santina Marella, Sunny, Terri Runnels, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson, Victoria

Maryse is Divas Champion (a new title created last previous year) and Melina is Women’s Champion. You can be eliminated through the ropes as well as over the top. They’re already fighting during the introductions and Mae Young is shown as guest timekeeper (not introduced of anything). Layla and Joy are eliminated in the first twenty seconds with no acknowledgment. Rosa Mendes is out as well and warrants some attention. Alicia Fox goes out with no mention as well.

Cole mentions that you could see who is in the match in a special photo shoot on WWE.com. That’s the extent of the entrance list you’re going to get here. I had to find a list online because the camera was on Kid Rock during most of the entrances. Lawler is stunned to hear that Sunny is in here. Sunny is tossed and there goes Torrie Wilson (takes about fifteen seconds for the announcers to figure out who it was). Gayda is eliminated and Maria is forearmed out by Victoria. Lawler: “Hey Victoria is back!” Gail and Jillian go out together, followed by Eve and Tiffany at the same time.

Beth eliminates Kelly, Molly, Maryse and Katie in about twenty seconds. The Bellas put Victoria out so Beth puts both of them out back to back. We’re down to Beth, Mickie, Michelle, Melina…..and Santina, which is Santino in drag because he thought it was unfair to have an all Divas battle royal. Mickie and Michelle fall off the top to eliminate each other in the most entertaining part of the match so far. Melina dives on Beth in an awkward looking landing but Santina eliminates both of them to win at 5:58.

Rating: F-. WOW. So the entrances were cut off for Kid Rock, the announcers had no idea who was in this, and the ending is the start of a stupid angle that eventually saw Vickie Guerrero win the crown from Santina. This was on the level of some indy company in a high school gym and it aired at Wrestlemania. Totally unacceptable and one of the biggest screwups I’ve ever seen.

Santina introduces herself and the fans chant for Santino. Candice Michelle gives him a sash and crown as Beth is livid. Santina dances to make it even worse.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. the legends. Mickey Rourke’s movie The Wrestler came out earlier in the year, telling the story of an old wrestler trying to hang on. Jericho hated this idea and called out names such as Ricky Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka and Roddy Piper, eventually challenging them to a match at Wrestlemania. With Ric Flair in their corner, the three agreed. Jericho beat up Flair to prove his point.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat/Jimmy Snuka/Roddy Piper

This was originally a gauntlet match but has been changed into an elimination match instead. Mickey Rourke is at ringside. At this point, Steamboat is 56 and last wrestled in 1994, Snuka is 65 and Piper is 12 days away from turning 55 (though considering he was diagnosed with Lymphoma just two years before this, he looks great). Flair comes out with them and oh sweet goodness he is WASTED.

Piper starts and JR says it’s going to be bowling shoe ugly right out of the gate. They go outside with Piper sending him into the announcers’ table before trying a dropkick and kind of grazing Jericho’s shoulder with one foot. Snuka comes in with a headbutt and some shots to the ribs. It’s off to Steamboat for by far the biggest reaction of the match. He looks like he’s about 40 here and comes in off the top with a chop to the head. The armdrags have Jericho in trouble and we get a STEAMBOAT chant.

Back to Snuka who misses his half of a double chop and gets caught in a quick Walls of Jericho for the submission. Piper and Steamboat have to break the hold and it’s Piper kicking Chris in the ribs. Jericho reverses a quick sleeper and nails a running enziguri to get us down to one on one. Steamboat comes in with a high cross body for two and a HUGE reaction before it’s time to chop it out. We hit the chinlock (Jericho: “ASK HIM!”) for a bit before Jericho throws him over the top for to skin the cat (which the camera missed on the original broadcast as it was on Jericho punching Flair).

Steamboat sends him to the floor and hits a plancha as the fans are totally behind the Dragon. A top rope chop has Jericho in trouble and Ricky jumps off the bottom rope for a leapfrog into a rollup for two. Jericho scores with the bulldog but misses the Lionsault. A powerslam gets two for Steamboat but he gets caught in the Walls. We’re not done yet though as he slips out and grabs a small package for two (and a massive sigh of exasperation on the kickout). The Codebreaker puts Steamboat out at 8:57.

Rating: B. Of course that’s on an adjusted scale. This match had absolutely no reason to go anywhere and Steamboat put on the best performance someone his age and that far removed from wrestling could dream of to make it work. The crowd was with him the entire way and it’s a moment that worked so perfectly. Obviously you don’t want Jericho going down here but they took what could have been an embarrassment and turned it into one of the most entertaining things all night. If you need more proof of Steamboat’s natural talent, check this out and then the singles match he and Jericho had at Backlash. Just remarkable.

Flair charges the ring because he has to get some screen time and eats a Codebreaker. Jericho gets on the mic and brags about his victory before calling out Mickey Rourke for a fight. Rourke gets in and knocks him out (Rourke was an undefeated professional boxer so this wasn’t totally insane, even if he hadn’t boxed in 36 years. The punch missed so badly that it was laughable though.) before celebrating with Flair.

We recap the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. Jeff won the Smackdown World Title at Armageddon 2008 and was defending at Royal Rumble 2009 but Matt turned on his brother. It was then revealed that Matt was behind an attack on Jeff in a stairwell back in November, trying to run Jeff and his girlfriend off the road, burning him with fireworks and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN AND KILLING HIS DOG. Now in the real world, the attempted murder and arson would probably result in Matt going to jail (especially with a confession on film), but why do that when you can have an extreme rules match?

Side note: allegedly it was going to be the returning Christian as the attacker instead of Matt but they went with this instead. I’m thinking this wasn’t the best idea.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Extreme rules. Jeff takes him down to start and hammers away before taking it to the floor for a framed Wrestlemania poster to the face. Poetry in Motion against the barricade has Matt in even more trouble. Back in and a Poetry in Motion misses in the corner, allowing Matt time to knock Jeff out of the air with a chair to the knee. Well at least someone is trying to be violent here.

A shop vac to the head gets two on Jeff as the announcers talking about Matt not taking a phone call from his dad for four days. Again, MATT BURNED JEFF’S HOUSE DOWN AND KILLED HIS DOG! WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A PHONE CALL??? Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post before loading up a table at ringside. Jeff comes back with a running clothesline off the apron before pulling out a crutch and kendo stick for alternating shots to the back.

Now it’s time for a garbage can around Jeff’s head for a slingshot dropkick. The swanton misses but Jeff pops back up for a superplex. A chair shot puts Matt on the floor so Jeff puts him on one table, puts a chair on top of Matt, then puts another table on top of the first table, setting up a huge splash off the top.

That’s only good for two back inside and it’s time for the ladder because there had to be one of them here. Make that two ladders, with one regular sized one and one huge one. Jeff climbs the small one and jumps over the bigger one, only to miss a legdrop. Matt puts a chair around Jeff’s neck and hits a Twist of Fate for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: D+. What was that? Like, what were they going for here? Matt played his role well enough with a big spot at the end to hurt Jeff and get his moment. That’s all well and good, but what in the world was Jeff doing? Again: attempted murder, arson, burning him with fireworks and more but he’s setting up ladders for a big legdrop? This would have been good in a regular blowoff match for say, the Intercontinental Title, but it did not match the story they were going for in the slightest. Matt got the idea but Jeff was just way off.

Randy Orton stares off into the distance.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

JBL is defending and brags about returning to Texas as a conquering hero and the only champion this state has. He talks about Texas needing hope, which is where he can come in as their hero before he goes back to New York on his private plane. Mysterio is the Joker from The Dark Knight this year for a very bizarre look that seems to go over JR’s head. We actually get some big match intros and JBL kicks him in the face before the bell. Rey says start it and there’s an enziguri, a dropkick, the 619 and a springboard splash for the pin and the title at 21 seconds.

JBL is stunned and can’t speak. He finally gets it together and says he quits, which actually was his retirement. As Bradshaw said, this was the perfect way for the JBL character to go out: beaten, humiliated and leaving in a huff.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. the Undertaker. Shawn was free from JBL (after a long story where Shawn was broke and had to work for him) and decided he wanted the biggest challenge there was: the Streak. While he did respect Undertaker, he certainly didn’t fear him. The theme of the feud was light vs. darkness, featuring Shawn wearing all white and quoting from the Bible about God separating the light from the darkness. Undertaker said all of his usual stuff about the darkness and taking Shawn down with him, but you knew this was going to be special.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn’s entrance: all in white, descending down from the ceiling with a Heavenly chorus singing. Undertaker’s entrance: rising up through the floor all in black and bringing fire up from the stage. Well those work. Shawn speeds around to start and scores with some chops. Forearms in the corner just get on Undertaker’s nerves and he easily blocks a right hand before throwing Shawn over the top rope, only to have Shawn fake a knee injury to take Undertaker down with right hands. A huge backdrop sends Shawn flying as they’re still in first gear. Old School connects but Shawn avoids a running boot in the corner.

Shawn slaps on the reverse Figure Four until Undertaker powers out, only to take a dropkick to the knee. Undertaker shakes it off and comes back with right hands, followed by Snake Eyes and the big boot for two. Things start to speed up so Shawn grabs a Crossface of all things until Undertaker powers up into a side slam for two. It’s time to chop it out until Shawn scores with the forearm into the nipup.

Shawn goes up top but dives into a chokeslam, only to counter with a kick to the leg. The reverse Figure Four is countered into Hell’s Gate but Shawn is in the ropes fast enough for the save. Very good sequence there. Undertaker takes him down again but misses the apron legdrop, setting up a baseball slide from Shawn.

With Undertaker down on the floor, Shawn tries for the moonsault but Undertaker swats him away, sending Shawn down to the mat with a sick thud. The referee checks on Shawn but he says don’t stop it. As he’s down, Undertaker does the situp and tries the Taker Dive, only to leave it short and basically leave Undertaker to do a swanton out to the floor. Shawn tried to pull a cameraman into the way but he didn’t get far enough, meaning Undertaker only kind of landed on him.

Shawn drags the referee back in and demands a countout. The fans are REALLY not cool with that but Undertaker beats the count at nine and a half. Shawn’s eyes change but the chokeslam is countered with a HUGE chokeslam for two. Undertaker blocks a superkick and tries another chokeslam, only to have Shawn slap the hand away and score with a great looking Sweet Chin Music for two. Shawn nips up again so Undertaker grabs him by the throat and tries the Last Ride, counters Shawn’s counter and PLANTS HIM with the Last Ride. The fans are starting to lose their minds on these kickouts.

Undertaker goes up top (!) for the Shawn Michaels elbow (complete with the arm gesture) and only hits mat. Shawn gets sent over the top but skins the cat, only to get caught in the Tombstone for the closest two of the match. Undertaker’s look of shock as he lays on Shawn’s side makes it that much better. There go Undertaker’s straps and he tries another Tombstone, only to get countered into a tornado DDT (with Undertaker’s head hitting Shawn’s ribs but close enough).

Shawn’s top rope elbow connects for no cover before hitting Sweet Chin Music for one of the most dramatic near falls I’ve ever seen. That’s the first time I ever believed the Streak was over. It’s time for another slugout with each shot knocking both guys halfway off their feet because they’re so spent. Another Tombstone is countered and Undertaker charges into a boot to the jaw. Shawn goes up for another moonsault but gets caught in the Tombstone to FINALLY end this at 30:43.

Rating: A+. This is a match that people raved about live but then began to sour on in later years. Simply put, I’d call those people crazy. This was a WAR with both guys beating the tar out of each other and taking each other to a place that neither had ever been taken to. That sequence where they used each other to get to their feet and slugged it out near the end was everything you needed to see as they were so broken down and destroyed that they could only do the most basic moves.

The story, the build, the execution and the selling during the match made this work so perfectly. It came off like two warriors who gave everything they had for one last shot but only one of them could pull it off. On top of that you had some of the best near falls of all time with the fans eating up every single bit of it as fast as they could have. Outstanding match here and an all time great.

We recap Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena, which gets to follow that. Edge won the Raw World Title in the Elimination Chamber after losing the Smackdown World Title in the other Elimination Chamber earlier in the night (my go to example of how stupid having two World Titles really was). This was going to set up Edge defending the title against Big Show (who had been having an affair with Vickie Guerrero (now Edge’s wife and GM of both shows) to get into the title match) at Wrestlemania but John Cena, the former champion, wanted his rematch. The match was turned into a triple threat after Cena revealed Show and Vickie’s affair.

Vickie is wheeled to ringside.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Edge is defending. Cena’s entrance this year is old school as an army of John Cena look-a-likes comes out to Basic Thuganomics before Cena comes out to My Time Is Now while the look-a-likes do You Can’t See Me. We get the big match intros and we’re ready to go. Cena starts fast with a bulldog to Edge and a shoulder to Big Show. Only one of these is successful and I’ll let you figure out which is which.

Show crotches Edge on the top rope and superkicks Cena to break up an AA (Attitude Adjustment instead of FU now) attempt on the champ. The big man misses a running boot though and Edge dropkicks the steps into his knees. Cena adds a dangerous top rope Fameasser to the floor to take Show down again, leaving us with Cena vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets crotched on the top as Vickie is freaking out on the floor.

Show comes back in with a side slam to John, followed by Vickie’s nephew (and wheelchair pusher) Chavo pulling Cena to the floor. That earns him an AA before Cena goes back inside and ties Show in the ropes. Cena initiates his finishing sequence on Edge but Vickie gets out of her chair for a distraction, only to take a spear from Edge. JR: “Edge accidentally speared his wife. AGAIN!” While this is going on, Show gets annoyed at his ropes predicament. Show: “HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

Cena and Edge knock each other down and Show gets free, meaning it’s time for pain. Show crushes both of them in the corner but can only chokeslam Edge. Cena is the lucky one and only takes the KO Punch, which JR calls malignant. For no apparent reasons, Show goes after Edge on the floor, allowing the champion to get up and tackle Show through the barricade and into the crowd for a big crash.

Edge is up first and tries a spear on Cena, only to get caught in the STF to furious booing. Show makes the save by grabbing Cena by the throat and throwing him to the floor. A Vader Bomb to Edge only hits the mat though and now it’s Edge and Cena working together for probably the only time ever to that point. Show gets suplexed and then clotheslined out to the floor, only to have Edge kick Cena in the face for two.

The Throwback (not a Blockbuster JR) puts Edge down but Show shoves Cena off the top and into a spear. Back up and Edge tries a sleeper on Show…..until Cena PUTS THEM BOTH ON HIS SHOULDERS AT THE SAME TIME, which gets nowhere near the reaction that it should. Cena just put at minimum 700lbs on his shoulders and the fans reacted to Santina dancing better than this. Edge gets flipped first before Cena AA’s Show, followed by another one to Edge onto Show, giving Cena the pin and the title at 14:44.

Rating: B-. Considering what they had to follow and how spent the crowd was (there’s still no excuse for no selling that double AA), this couldn’t have gotten much better. The stupid love triangle didn’t help anyone because people were burned out on Vickie by this point. She was a great heel but it was pure overkill. Cena getting the title back makes sense, even if he wound up being a transitional champion before it became part of a great feud between CM Punk and Jeff Hardy. Good match here but it wasn’t as good as it could have been, at least partially due to the story.

Hall of Fame time with Steve Austin as the headliner, giving us a rare glimpse of him in a suit.

The Class of 2009 is brought out with everyone standing on their own star. We have Terry and Dory Jr. Funk, Bill Watts, Howard Finkel (imagine the stories he could tell), Koko B. Ware (the low point of the Hall of Fame), the Von Erich Family (represented by Kevin because he’s the only one left alive), Ricky Steamboat and Steve Austin. After the introductions, Austin slips away and rides back to the ring on his ATV (now in a t-shirt instead of suit) for a beer bash, including sharing one with JR. That makes this feel right.

Wrestlemania XXVI is in Phoenix.

Attendance announcement, which isn’t listed as a record.

We recap Randy Orton vs. HHH. Orton won the Royal Rumble to earn his shot at HHH, who won the title in the first Elimination Chamber. They’re treating this like a culmination of their feud that started back in 2004 so Orton attacked HHH’s family (including laying out Stephanie and kissing her while she was unconscious), which he blamed on some mental disorder (which of course he later admitted that he made up). HHH then invaded Orton’s house and threw him through a window.

So this whole feud is built on violence and HHH wanting to get his ultimate revenge. Therefore, the stipulation was that HHH could lose the title via DQ or countout. Yeah instead of a street fight or some match where you can have a ton of violence, the rules made sure that they had to tone the violence down as much as they had. Remember how screwy Jeff Hardy was in his match when he wouldn’t be violent and it didn’t make sense? Well here they’re doing the same to HHH on purpose.

HHH runs into Vince and Shane on the way to the ring. Nothing is said.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and throws his sledgehammer through a mirror for his entrance. Well it’s better than a screwed up Motorhead performance. We get a really cool visual of Orton looking up from the floor as HHH does his signature pose in the corner. In a normal situation, HHH would be on him before the big match intros can even start but he stands his ground instead. Thankfully he doesn’t start posing again.

HHH hammers away to start and the referee almost disqualifies him for not breaking. The RKO hits the distracted champion less than two minutes in but instead of covering, Orton loads up the Punt. HHH moves away and scores with a Pedigree maybe two and a half minutes in and both guys are already down. Out to the floor so HHH can steal someone’s water to revive himself and post Orton.

Back in and Randy’s begging off doesn’t work and HHH starts driving knees into the back of Orton’s head. They head outside again with HHH being sent into the steps as this continues to be more like some weird performance art instead of a match. It’s almost like they’re trying to do a street fight without weapons because SOMEONE SCREWED THE MATCH UP WITH A STUPID RULE!

The champ gets thrown over the barricade but is still able to beat the count. At least Orton is getting smart and trying to win by countout. If only he had hit his finisher out of nowhere earlier and had the chance for a pin. Now it’s Orton dropping knees of his own until HHH grabs a belly to back suplex. Orton comes back with a powerslam and chinlock to slow things down even more.

HHH fights up (because it’s a chinlock about than ten minutes in) and scores with the high knee, only to have the Pedigree countered into a catapult into the buckle. Another Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two before HHH grabs a rollup for his own near fall. FEEL THE HATRED! The spinebuster is a bit more like it but Orton countered ANOTHER Pedigree attempt (come on dude you know more moves than that) into the backbreaker for two. Back up and HHH heads to the top so Orton can dropkick him out of the air.

Another Punt is blocked and HHH shoves him out to the floor. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table as the referee reminds him of the DQ rule. You know, because EVERY main event has a DQ when someone uses weapons. HHH doesn’t hit him in the head with a monitor but instead tries a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop onto the table. So where’s Orton’s threat of DQ? The elevated DDT on the floor knocks HHH silly but he gets back in at nine again.

Back in again and Orton stomps away in the corner, making Lawler ask why the referee isn’t threatening a DQ. See, Lawler gets it. Orton whips HHH into the referee before hitting the RKO but let’s bring in a sledgehammer. You knew that was coming at some point because these two love symbolism. Orton takes his time getting back in though and HHH Punts him (JR said it was THUNDEROUS so you know he’s serious). The sledgehammer hits Orton in the jaw and HHH hits some big right hands, followed by another Pedigree to retain at 23:35.

Rating: D. Oh wow did they miss here. As I said roughly 19 times, this should have been a violent street fight instead of trying to have a match where the rules didn’t make a ton of sense in the first place. They spent most of the match building up the Pedigree…..which HHH already hit about a minute in to make that story even more head scratching.

This felt like HHH and Orton trying to go out and have some big epic moment, which is the main reason this failed. Well aside from the rules not fitting the story. It felt like they were forcing this to be something it wasn’t. On top of that it doesn’t help that Orton and HHH really don’t have the main event chemistry that you would expect them to have. You would think they would have learned that after their four pay per view matches in 2008 and before the three more they had after this in 2009. Bad match and a HORRIBLE main event.

HHH stands over him as the great conqueror.

The highlight package returns after a one year hiatus.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a really hard one to pin down as it’s trying to balance the really good vs. the really bad. The extreme rules match, the battle royal, the Kid Rock stuff and the main event are a bit heavier than Money in the Bank, the triple threat, Steamboat and Undertaker vs. Shawn. The problem is, aside from Shawn vs. Undertaker, the good stuff is only pretty good but the bad is REALLY bad.

Now that being said, this show is much better than what a lot of people remember it as. That main event is indeed horrible, but Shawn vs. Undertaker balances it out with room to spare. Unfortunately, people remember Orton vs. HHH and the Kid Rock performance more than they remember the other good stuff on the show.

The best thing this show could have done is swap the main events. I know you want to end on a title match, but they had to know that Shawn vs. Undertaker was going to be impossible to top. The story was much stronger there anyway and if that’s how you end it, the memories of this show are so much more positive. There are way worse Wrestlemanias out there, but few that are more disappointing than this one through a lot of weird decisions.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: F-

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

I might have been trying to make up for lost ratings.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxv-the-difference-between-live-and-later/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

So this was going to be Wrestlemania XXX but then I remembered I did that show last year so I picked one I remember being a lot of fun. It’s from one of the forgotten periods of the company’s history as things were mostly good, but this era really runs together for me. This show is well received and kind of a hidden gem though so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Jim Duggan, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang, Val Venis, Cody Rhodes, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Festus, Stevie Richards, Jamie Noble, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston, Brian Kendrick, Kane, Great Khali, Miz, Mark Henry, Deuce, Domino, Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky

This show is so old it pre-dates Kickoff Shows. This is your usual get everyone on the card match, which would go completely off the rails years later. There is actually a prize as the winner gets an ECW Title shot later tonight. The brawl is on to start (as it should be) with Festus (Luke Gallows) throwing out Deuce N Domino without much trouble. Khali gets rid of Duggan (to a lot of booing) and Burke knocks out Richards.

Burke makes the eternal mistake of celebrating too much though and gets shoved out by Kane. You would think people would learn at some point. It’s Miz out next and the announcers talk about how cool it would be for young Kofi Kingston to get a title shot at Wrestlemania. Henry eliminates Moore and Yang and it’s Jesse following them out.

Festus is put out, meaning I don’t have to get him confused with Snitsky anymore. Kofi gets rid of Cade and Kendrick as the ring is clearing out a lot. Henry tosses Kofi onto the pile and Palumbo (He made it to 2008?) kicks Noble out. Actually Noble hangs on so Palumbo throws him out again, though this time Noble climbs onto the pile and stays on. I’m sure Kofi Kingston was watching that one.

Not that it matters as Khali gets rid of Noble and Palumbo but everyone gangs up to get rid of Khali. Snitsky gets rid of Holly and we’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, meaning there were quite a few eliminations off camera. Henry eliminates Snitsky and we’re down to two. Kane has to escape a gorilla press and a big boot gets rid of Henry to give Kane the win.

Rating: D. They got in, they did their thing, they had the right winner and they got out in less than seven minutes. It’s not a good match or anything more than what it was supposed to be and that’s fine. Believe it or not you don’t need three matches before the show starts to warm the fans up. Something like this is a perfect choice and it worked just fine.

We get the big airplane flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet in person.

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about how big Wrestlemania is and how much they want to steal the show. Remember when wrestling was about how you didn’t like someone or wanted the title and not to just get on a show or steal said show? It shifts into a talk about everything that can happen in a year, including title changes, injuries, or your boss saying your career was over the next time you lost. Tonight, everyone is going to steal the show.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. It’s also part of a VERY long and complicated story as Vince McMahon was told that Hornswoggle was his son, which didn’t sit well with Finlay. JBL beat Hornswoggle up one night until it was eventually revealed that Finlay was really Hornswoggle’s dad. This is Finlay’s chance for revenge. Hornswoggle is here with Finlay because….well why wouldn’t he be?

Some forearms knock Finlay off the apron to start but he whips JBL into the steps and takes it inside for the opening bell. Finlay throws in the standard assortment of weapons, with JBL getting in a trashcan to the head. The alternating trashcan lid/cookie sheet shots to the head keep Finlay in trouble and it’s time for some steps. The piledriver onto said steps is blocked and this time it’s JBL taking the metal sheet shots. Hornswoggle comes in for a kendo stick shot, allowing Finlay to grab the club for a few swings to the jaw.

Since Finlay would rather have revenge (makes sense), he puts a trashcan on JBL’s face and grabs a table. You know, because we need tables. JBL gets back up so it’s a hard clothesline to knock him right back down. Since Finlay isn’t working so well for him, JBL goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle around, earning himself a beating from Finlay.

For some reason Finlay tries a suicide dive, which is knocked out of the air with a trashcan lid shot. JBL PELTS a trashcan at Hornswoggle but the Clothesline is broken up with another can. There’s the Regal Roll and JBL gets thrown through the table in the corner for two. Finlay takes a little too long picking up the steps though and gets them sent into his head. The Clothesline From JBL is good for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly watchable brawl and that’s all it needed to be. There was no need to put this on later in the night either as JBL winning was a bit deflating and you don’t want to kill the crowd off later in the show. Get it out of the way and let the fans have a fun garbage match. Smart opener and a good little warmup.

We go to host Kim Kardashian (just go with it) for an explanation about Money in the Bank. Mr. Kennedy comes in and gets in her face, which I’m sure is completely beneath her stellar career.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP

Money in the Bank with Kennedy technically defending, though that’s not really a thing in a match like this. Morrison is a Smackdown Tag Team Champion (with Miz), Shelton is in his awful Gold Rush period, MVP is US Champion and Jericho is Intercontinental Champion because of course he is.

Everyone but MVP goes to the floor for an early ladder with MVP being smart enough for one to be thrown in and then kick Morrison off the apron. MVP picks up the ladder and starts using it as a weapon but Jericho brings in his own and knocks MVP’s away. Morrison throws a smaller ladder at Jericho’s before taking it up top for a moonsault with the ladder to the floor. It’s rather early for something that insane but it looked great. Everyone but Jericho is down on the floor until Kennedy runs back in and sets a ladder up.

That’s broken up by Jericho, who for some reason catapults Kennedy onto the ladder so Morrison has to ride a ladder out of the corner to get up top for a save. Benjamin is back in with his own ladder and it’s a superplex from Kennedy to Morrison with Benjamin adding a sunset bomb for your second crazy spot of the match. Carlito shoves Shelton’s ladder over….so Shelton lands on the top rope and jumps right back, though the ladder breaks. Punk goes up with Kennedy making another save so Punk gives Shelton a GTS.

Carlito cleans house next and crushes MVP’s leg in a ladder. That earns Carlito a Dragon Whip so Shelton can climb but Carlito and Kennedy turn the ladder over, sending Shelton down through a ladder bridged between the apron and the ring. The stunned looks on Carlito and Kennedy’s faces make up for the clearly wooden ladder being broken. MVP shoves Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho down and it’s Morrison going up, with Jericho being right there for the Walls on top of the ladder (that always looks cool).

Jericho has to let go to stop Kennedy though, allowing Punk and Carlito to springboard in from either side. Punk and Kennedy go down so Carlito hits the Backstabber off the ladder to bring Jericho down. JR: “A WRESTLEMANIA BACKSTABBER!” MVP is all alone so he goes up, only to have Matt Hardy run in as a surprise for a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Jericho gets back up and knocks Morrison into the corner where he interlocks two ladders upside down into a V shape.

Carlito gets sent into one side, meaning a ladder is instantly stood up. Morrison climbs up but gets it shoved back down, crotching Morrison on the top with Punk taking a ladder to the head. Jericho climbs up and gets Carlito’s apple spit in his face. Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner with Punk making another save. There’s a Codebreaker with a ladder to Punk, who is up fast enough to shove Jericho off the ladder and pull down the briefcase for the win at 13:54.

Rating: A-. They didn’t go with drama here and instead went with the wild series of spots, one after another. One very smart thing they did here was to get rid of someone so they only had six. That seems to be the magic number for these things and it worked well here. Punk winning the briefcase was the smart move as he’s hot at the moment and someone who could use this as a springboard to the main event scene. Heck of a match and the spectacle that belongs on Wrestlemania.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony. This is way better than having everyone come out and get a big presentation. If nothing else for the sake of time.

Here’s Howard Finkel to introduce the Hall of Fame class:

Jack and Gerry Brisco (Jack should have been in years ago)

Gordon Solie (perfect choice in Florida)

Rocky Johnson

Peter Maivia

Eddie Graham (represented by Mike Graham, who probably invented Wrestlemania)

Mae Young (who has to be kept from stripping)

Ric Flair (Charlotte has short hair here and it’s REALLY weird to see her like that)

And yes, there were just seven inductees and no one lame. It’s like this can be well done without any jokes.

Snoop Dogg, the emcee of the Playboy match tonight, is a big Festus fan. Santino Marella comes in to interrupt and doesn’t like the idea of the Playboy match. Snoop rings a bell and sends Festus running after Santino. Mick Foley shows up and apparently is cool with Snoop.

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw with Teddy Long and William Regal (show bosses) at ringside. No story here other than a battle of brand supremacy and a few brawls. Some right hands to the head have little effect on Umaga so Batista shoulders him out to the floor for some more success. Back in and Umaga goes kind of aerial with a spinwheel kick and Batista is knocked outside this time. Some hard whips into the corner have Batista in trouble and an uppercut makes things worse.

The nerve hold goes on as the fans certainly seem to approve of Umaga. The middle rope headbutt misses but Batista’s back gives out on a slam attempt. We’re right back to the nerve hold before a Samoan drop gets two. Batista fights back with right hands and is loudly booed. He’s fine enough to block the Samoan Spike and Umaga’s charge goes into the post. The spinebuster sets up a Batista Bomb (with Batista falling down) for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D. Well that certainly clears up which show is better. This was a lame power match that didn’t get much time, which might be the best solution in this case. Batista was in need of a freshening up at this point and Umaga was just the resident monster. It’s this year’s version of “get them on the show somehow” and they didn’t exactly click.

Tale of the Tape for Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

ECW GM Armando Alejandro Estrada handles the introductions. Kane won a battle royal on the pre-show to earn this shot and comes in from the crowd to win here with a chokeslam in twelve seconds. Exactly what it needed to be, but please tell me Joey Styles and Tazz didn’t have to sit at ringside for everything before or after this match.

And now, Maria and Carlito with an ad about…..Wrestlemania?

Raven Symone is here because of a disabled kids’ charity.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels with Flair’s career on the line. Late last year, Vince McMahon decided that Flair would have to retire the next time he lost (partially because Vince is Vince and partially because Flair said that he would never retire). Flair went on a long winning streak but asked to face Shawn at Wrestlemania. Shawn made it clear that he didn’t want to finish Flair’s career but would do what he had to do, even if it meant putting Flair down like Old Yeller. There was little hiding the fact that this was going to be Flair’s last match, but it was his chance to go out with one more classic.

Ric’s plan for tonight: to be the man.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair has the blue robe one more time and while I’m still a fan of the black and white one, I can’t help but smile at seeing the classic look again. Shawn shoulders him down to start and it’s clear that they’re going to have all the time they want here. They trade some hammerlocks with Shawn getting the better of it on the mat. That’s broken up as well and we get the first WOO.

The chops in the corner let Flair yell about Old Yeller but Shawn slaps him in the face and asks if that’s all he has. An exchange of chops in the corner goes to Flair (as it should) but Shawn elbows him in the jaw and goes up. This time Flair slams him off the top and goes up…..for a crossbody into a near fall! You would think that would get more of a reaction but he has to fail at an early Figure Four attempt.

Shawn kicks him to the floor and tries an Asai moonsault, which only hits the announcers’ table, with his ribs landing on the edge which doesn’t break (I’ve seen that many times and it draws a very real cringe). That’s only good for a nine count and Shawn can barely move because of the ribs. A belly to back suplex gives Flair two and he manages a delayed vertical for the same. Note: Charles Robinson (Little Naitch) is referee here and for some reason he’s in a Smackdown shirt. Yeah he’s a Smackdown referee, but you can’t just throw him in a Raw shirt for the occasion?

Flair’s neckbreaker gets two more but Shawn sends him outside. That means a moonsault to the floor which takes Flair out and bangs up the ribs even more. They chop it out back inside and it’s Shawn’s forearm into the nipup as the pace picks up a bit. A slam drops Flair and Shawn’s top rope elbow connects, meaning it’s time to Tune of the Band. Shawn can’t bring himself to do it though and Flair grabs the legs and slaps on the Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

The hold is turned over and they load up the bridge into the backslide….but Flair just can’t do it anymore so they go into a rollup instead. It’s time for the chop block and NOW the Figure Four is on for real. Shawn crawls to the rope so Flair stomps away some more until the referee drags him away. That’s enough of a delay for Shawn to hit Sweet Chin Music for a very close two and the fans go nuts on the kickout.

Shawn loads it up again but stops to tell Flair to get up. That means a low blow (again, you knew he was getting that in somehow) for two more and the fans really bought the near fall. To mix things up a bit, Shawn sweeps the legs and tries a reverse Figure Four (thank goodness it wasn’t a Sharpshooter) to send Flair bailing to the ropes this time.

A rollup with tights gets two and they chop it out from their knees. The chops bring them to their feet and Shawn hits another superkick to put Flair down. There’s no cover though as Shawn goes into the corner and Flair slowly gets up. Shawn says the now legendary I’m Sorry, I Love You and superkicks Flair one more time, this time for the pin at 20:34.

Rating: B+. I don’t remember truly liking this one before and that’s because there are different ways to look at it. It’s hard not to look at a match like this through the emotional lens but if you take that away (which you kind of have to given that Flair wound up wrestling again), it’s actually a heck of a match with all of the old Flair tropes thrown in. Those worked for so long because it’s a great formula that can work against anyone. When you add in Shawn’s second to none abilities, there was no way this wouldn’t be outstanding.

The problem though is that Flair just can’t do a lot of this stuff anymore. He’s trying as hard as he can and what he could still do was good, but seeing him not be able to bridge up anymore was rather sad because it’s something he’s done for so many years before. I don’t remember liking this match that much but it really is a strong one, even ignoring all the other things added to it.

Post match Shawn leaves the ring and a crying Flair gets to his feet for one of the best standing ovations you’ll ever see. This is more than deserved and while he should have retired a long time ago (you could argue all the way back in the 90s), he was far from embarrassing himself and someone as influential, successful and downright talented as he was should absolutely get this kind of a sendoff. And for those who are wondering why, this was originally going to close the show but Flair refused and insisted it go in the middle.

Smackdown World Champion Edge talks about sitting in the crowd at Wrestlemania VI as the biggest Hulkamaniac in Canada. Then Hulk Hogan lost, and Edge lost his innocence with it. Undertaker has been the conscience of WWE for years but tonight Edge is bringing a cold hard dose of reality to the fans. There’s probably a kid in the audience who believes that anything can happen, even 16-0. Tonight, Edge is taking that kid’s innocence and walking out as the new Phenom and still World Heavyweight Champion.

Pyro signals the start of the second half of the show.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley Massaro

This is the Playboy match with the rest of the women’s division as lumberjacks. Snoop Dogg is the master of ceremonies and of course he comes to the ring in a leopard print Mercedes golf cart. Snoop handles the introductions, but first throws in a couple of WOO’s in Flair’s honor. Santino is here with Beth and Melina as he doesn’t like Maria posing.

Ashley hurricanranas Beth to start and the fans are rather quiet. Some double teaming has Beth in more trouble but it’s off to Melina, who gets kneed by Maria. A lot of spinning around and screaming sets up a Bronco Buster (without the running start) to Melina. Ashley hits a middle rope X Factor but gets sent outside for a beating from the lumberjacks. We settle down to a bearhug from Beth before she puts Melina in an electric chair and flips her backwards into a moonsault.

Ashley kicks out at two and Maria dives in for the save a full second later, making things look even worse. And then the lights go out because everyone is sick of this match. A spotlight lets us see Maria kicking Beth in the head and reversing the Glam Slam into a bulldog for two. Everything breaks down and Maria dives onto Beth for two with Santino making the save. That brings Lawler to his feet to knock Santino down, leaving Beth to hit a fisherman’s buster to pin Maria at 5:59.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? The wrestling was terrible and the villains had to tone it WAY down for this not to be a disaster. The fans didn’t care and they couldn’t even see parts of the match, though I don’t think they particularly cared. It just wasn’t good but it served its purposes of eye candy and a breather from the emotional moment.

Post match Santino poses with Melina and Beth but gets laid out by Snoop.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Randy Orton is champion, HHH is feuding with him for the title, and John Cena, who never lost the title, won the Royal Rumble in a shocking return after being stripped of the title due to injury.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending. Cena’s big introduction this year is via a high school marching band, which is a pretty cool idea. After Cena’s entrance, we get a poll on who will win with Cena getting 52% and Orton finishing dead last at 8%. HHH gets a regular entrance, though it includes one of my favorite Wrestlemania shots: the closeup and the camera swinging around to show the sheer size of the stadium with all the people. Orton belts HHH in the face to start so Cena bulldogs the champ and grabs a release fisherman’s suplex.

HHH is right back in with a sleeper to Orton, allowing Cena to try a double FU, though it’s way too early and they both slip off. Orton takes both of them down and alternates with the stomping a they’re certainly starting fast. A jumping knee to each gets two each for the sake of symmetry as the fans are actually into this, meaning they are in fact alive after the women’s match. Cena is up and puts Orton on top but gets caught in a Doomsday crossbody…which he rolls through anyway with HHH having to break up an FU.

A pair of clotheslines leave Orton as the only one on his feet so he grabs a hanging DDT to both of them at once for another pair of twos. The RKO to Cena is countered with Orton being knocked onto HHH and it’s a top rope Fameasser to the champ. It’s too early for the STFU (yes U) though as Orton bails to the floor and posts Cena to take over again. That’s enough for HHH to start in on Orton’s leg but he has to deal with Cena, allowing Orton to nail a quick RKO.

Cena is back up with the STFU and Orton has the hand up to tap, only to have HHH guide the hand down onto the rope instead. HHH sends Cena into the steps and continues the torture of Orton continues with an Indian Deathlock. Cena makes the save and sends HHH outside this time, setting up another STFU on Orton.

Back in and HHH can’t pull Cena off of Orton so he puts Cena in a Crossface for the break instead. That’s broken up as well and it’s a big time slugout between HHH and Cena. HHH walks into the flying shoulder and the Shuffle but the STFU is kicked away. The spinebuster plants Cena and HHH cuts Orton off before hitting the Pedigree on Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain at 14:09.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two matches with HHH and Cena having a Wrestlemania match and Orton running in and out as much as he could to mess with things. Orton just does not feel like he’s on this level (which has often been the case) and it was the case again here.

You could feel the crowd deflate when he won the match, which makes sense as a heel and it does make him feel more definitive as a champion, but it came off like we were waiting on some big moment and instead got Orton. Again. These title matches and reigns completely run together over the years and this is just another (good) match in a very long series.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Big Show returned at No Way Out after over a year off. Mayweather was at No Way Out as well and came over the barricade to hit some crazy fast punches to a kneeling Show, one of which broke his nose. Now we’re having the freakshow match, which could be highly entertaining. However, with that out of the way, eleven years after the angle, I still have no earthly idea who I’m supposed to cheer for. Is it the wrestler? Is is the loudmouthed guy who is in way over his head from a physical standpoint? Is it the guy who was attacked and wants revenge? Is it the guy who is one of the best fighters of all time? Why is this so complicated?

Anything goes here and you can win by pinfall, submission or knockout. Money rains down for Mayweather’s entrance and he has seven people with him. Mayweather is smart enough to dodge around to start and he peppers Show with some fast shows to the ribs. A right to the jaw makes Show mad and Mayweather punches him a few more times to make it even worse. Hang on though as we need to stop so Mayweather can have a drink from…..a jewel chalice?

Show beats on the entourage as the smoke and mirrors begin. Mayweather looks on as Show chops a bodyguard and starts dancing around again. A right hand is caught and Mayweather slips away before Show can stomp on it. Show sits him on top but that just lets Mayweather get in a much better right hand, setting up the required sleeper/choke on the back. Show finally realizes that Mayweather is the size of a teenager and throws him off, setting up the stomp on the hand. Mayweather’s manager: “YOU CAN’T BE DOING THAT!”

Mayweather takes the SHH chop in the corner and the pain is intense. Apparently Show can’t do that either and a side slam (which brings the fans to their feet) probably isn’t approved either. Show legdrops the arm and stands on the stomach and it’s time for the entourage to pull Mayweather out, saying they’re done because this isn’t what they signed up for.

They head back to the ring where one of the bodyguards chairs Show in the back. Mayweather gets in a few more shots and a low blow, followed by more chair shots to the head. One of the gloves comes off and Mayweather steals some brass knuckles from the down handler for the knockout win at 11:34.

Rating: B. Yeah this is still a blast. Confusing as I have no idea who to cheer for (seriously, try to figure that out), but it’s so much fun with all the wackiness that only makes sense in wrestling. Mayweather would be a much bigger heel today (and someone that WWE couldn’t afford) but what we got here was all kinds of entertaining and one of the most fun things on the show.

Wrestlemania ad, featuring Batista.

Kim Kardashian announces the attendance and sounds miserable again.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. The video starts with a look at the Streak, which morphs into a video of Edge costing Undertaker the title multiple times, including by cashing in Money in the Bank. Edge is going to make it 15-1 and it turns into the standard “I’ll break the Streak/the Streak will live on” video. In other words, another well done package.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Undertaker is challenging and we’ve got druids with torches. Teddy Long wheels out Edge’s fiance Vickie Guerrero, who kisses him for luck in a story that felt like it would never die. Some early clotheslines put Edge on the floor and Undertaker gets in his Stunner over the top rope. The jumping clothesline (more like a shove here) gets two and it’s time for Old School, with Edge pulling him down, only to have Undertaker armdrag Edge down instead. I’ve never seen that otherwise and it’s rather out of place for Undertaker.

Edge avoids a charge though and Undertaker goes outside, with Edge knocking him into the barricade for a bonus. A swinging neckbreaker across the top rope has Undertaker in more trouble and a running shoulder in the corner makes it even worse. Edge goes up and gets knocked off the top, setting up a Taker Dive that doesn’t get as much of a reaction as you would expect.

There’s the apron legdrop (Coach calls it a dropkick) but Undertaker’s back is bothering him. It’s bad enough that he can’t hit the Last Ride, allowing Edge to boot him back to the floor. Back in and it’s a half crab to work on the weakened back, followed by Edge laying next to Undertaker and pulling on both legs at once. A rope is grabbed and that means it’s time to slug it out, which you don’t do against undertaker. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is cut off by a dropkick for another near fall.

The chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two but another chokeslam connects just fine. Old School is broken up again with a crotching and it’s a top rope superplex for a delayed two. For some reason Edge hammers away in the corner so it’s the Last Ride…with Edge slipping out because he’s still several steps ahead of Undertaker. Another Last Ride attempt works this time (with Edge almost landing on his head) for two more as they’re trading bombs now.

The Tombstone is broken up and the Edge-O-Matic drops Undertaker. He’s fine enough to pop back up and FINALLY connect with Old School but Undertaker kicks the referee down by mistake. That means a spear to put Undertaker down but, like many great ones before him, Edge takes too long running his mouth and gets grabbed by the throat. Unlike many other great ones before him, Edge gets in a low blow and steals a camera (which he used at Survivor Series).

The running shot to the head connects but the referee falls to the floor. The camera cuts away from the situp for no apparent reason, followed by the Tombstone to Edge. Charles Robinson sprints down the crazy long ramp to count two after a funny sprint. Cue the Edgeheads (Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins) for a distraction but Undertaker gets rid of them, only to walk into a spear for two. The second spear connects but this time Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate for the tap at 23:49.

Rating: A-. This is a forgotten classic that almost never gets the respect it deserves. Edge having all of the counters and making you believe that he could have just enough tricks up his sleeves to pull off the upset was a great story and the action more than lived up to the hype. This match never gets old, but it also never gets remembered, which is quite the shame as it’s awesome.

Undertaker poses and the long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. Why don’t more people talk about this one? The only two bad matches are Batista vs. Umaga and the women’s tag and those don’t even combine for fifteen minutes. This is another well paced show (clocking in at less than three hours and fifty minutes) with one great match after another. I always have a good time with this one and if you tweak it just a bit, it’s on the all time list. Excellent show and worth another look if you haven’t checked it out lately.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: A-

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B+

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A

Was I just in a really good mood or something this time?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/02/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-the-underrated-classic/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-2015-redo-one-woo-for-the-road/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 8, 2007
Location: Van Andel Arena, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with No Mercy and Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion, having been awarded, losing and regaining the title in quite the rollercoaster of a night. Orton is going to need a new challenger now and that means we might be in for something interesting this week. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going. He brags about living up to his word last night, when he guaranteed a new WWE Champion and a WWE Championship match. Well we had three WWE Championship matches and history was made. We get a package on the HHH vs. Randy Orton title matches (Umaga is omitted, which makes sense for Vince) before Vince guarantees that history be made again tonight. Every wrestler is going to come out here and shake Orton’s hand to wish him well. The next title defense will take place at Cyber Sunday, with Vince explaining the concept.

Cue HHH to interrupt and to tell Vince to shut up. These fans don’t care about Cyber Sunday because they care about tonight. That’s why HHH is invoking his rematch clause and he wants Orton this week. Vince advises him against it but says sure he can have his rematch….but we’ll throw in Umaga as Orton’s partner in a handicap match.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle/Maria

Maria takes Melina into the corner so Mickie can start working on the arm. A missed charge in the corner lets Melina get in a shot of her own though and it’s Beth coming in to throw Mickie around. Melina comes back in for a chinlock before handing it off to Jillian. Mickie kicks both of them away and the hot tag brings in Candice to clean house. Everything breaks down and Candice reverses a handspring elbow into a victory roll to finish Jillian.

Rating: C-. This was a way to rebuild Candice after her loss last night but it is pretty clear that her time as a serious title contender is over. Phoenix is a new breed of champion and she is going to need a more serious challenger. Out of the people here, that would pretty much just be Mickie, but for now it seems like we have to get Candice’s rematch out of the way.

William Regal has brought in some new stuff to spruce up Coach’s office, but Coach says that Elton John and George Michael are “queens” just like Elizabeth. Regal’s eyes are bugging out of his head but Vince McMahon comes in to say it’s ok. The two of them are supposed to keep an eye on Hornswoggle but they’re not sure where he is.

Video on last week’s Cyber Sunday.

Santino Marella vs. Val Venis

Fallout from Venis mocking Santino last week. Hold on though as Santino drops to the floor and says he can’t wrestle, but he has a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Snitsky goes straight to Venis’ bad knee and kicks at it in the corner before dropping a knee on the knee. A clothesline sets up the pumphandle powerslam to finish Venis fast.

Evander Holyfield is fighting on Saturday so here’s what he did on Saturday Night’s Main Event a few months back.

SAVE US!

John Cena joins us via satellite from Florida and says that he will be out of action 7-12 months. Lawler suggests Cena is glad he didn’t have to fight Randy Orton last night so Cena makes a Cleveland Indians joke, because he’s that horrible of a person. Cena is looking forward to seeing Orton have to shake everyone’s hands tonight and he’ll be back soon.

Randy Orton/Umaga vs. HHH

Non-title, though I thought this was HHH’s official rematch. The villains don’t have to tag here but HHH manages to send Umaga outside. A DDT plants Orton but Umaga gets him outside and starts hammering away. Back in and the double stomping is on as HHH’s banged up ribs get banged up even more. A dropkick puts HHH down and Umaga gets to stay on the ribs. HHH fights up and tries a fast Pedigree on Orton but has to send Umaga into the post. The spinebuster drops Orton but Umaga comes back in with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. They were working while it lasted but it didn’t last long. HHH gets screwed over and likely gets to continue his feud with Umaga, which does make sense as HHH was a last minute replacement opponent for Orton. It’s not like they have any current issues so let HHH destroy Umaga again in some kind of a brawl at Cyber Sunday while Orton fights….someone.

Post match Orton hits the RKO on HHH and Umaga crushes him even more, including the Samoan Spike. Referees have to help get HHH out but he shoves them away….and falls down.

Post break and HHH is still being helped out. That’s a pretty big injury angle.

In the back, Vince McMahon tells HHH that he has to be first to shake Randy Orton’s hand.

Highlanders vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

The highlanders are sent outside to start and taken down by a double dive as JR says London and Kendrick were Smackdown Tag Team Champions for well over a year. Well over, not quite over, same thing. Back in and London has to fight out of a chinlock, allowing the hot tag to Kendrick so house can be cleaned. Rory makes a save so London takes him to the floor, leaving Robbie to avoid a charge in the corner. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Robbie the fast pin as the heel turn is on. Not likely to go anywhere, but it’s on.

The Diva Search girls had some rapid fire questions. Next week: search and rescue.

Coach can’t find Hornswoggle.

Lilian Garcia sings the title track from her Quiero Vivir album. After the song, Santino Marella comes in, praises “Jillian’s” song, and proceeds to sing his own song about how Steve Austin can’t act. Apparently this is set to Amy Winehouse’s Rehab.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Kennedy works on a headlock to start but Hardy runs him over with a shoulder. A flipping legdrop misses though and Kennedy gets two off a northern lights suplex. Jeff knocks him to the floor though and there’s a ram into the apron to make it worse. A missed dive only hits barricade though and we take a break.

Back with Kennedy working on a half crab but Hardy fights out and goes up top. Kennedy breaks that up with a dropkick and we’re right back to the half crab. With that broken up, Hardy kicks off a Figure Four attempt so Kennedy chop blocks him back down. The knee is fine enough to hit the running sleeper drop but Kennedy’s rollup, with feet on the ropes, gets two. Hardy is back with the sitout gordbuster but the Swanton misses. Kennedy goes for a lazy cover, which is countered into a crucifix to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the best and longest match on the show, which shouldn’t be a surprise given that the talent was there too. I’m not sure I get why Hardy is pinning Kennedy if he is going to be the next challenger, but I’ll take some slightly sketchy logic over the champion losing. Or maybe they go in a different direction than Kennedy as the challenger, which may be the case for Cyber Sunday.

Vince McMahon tells William Regal to have everyone at ringside, including Hornswoggle. Regal says Hornswoggle is having a nap but Coach comes in to say he can’t find Hornswoggle anywhere. Then Hornswoggle pops up out of a trunk, seemingly having just woken up. Regal and Vince leave so Hornswoggle beats up Coach.

The roster is on the stage, with Vince McMahon in the ring to tell them all to show respect to Randy Orton. Cue Orton to stand on a platform in the ring, where he says no one deserves to be champion more than him. He is perfect at everything he does and he sees a lot of jealous faces on the stage. This dynasty has only just begun and he will be WWE Champion for a long time to come.

Now HHH needs to get down here and say “good luck champ”….but there is no HHH. Vince demand that HHH come out here right now but instead, Orton is sent to go get him. Orton goes to get him….and it’s Shawn Michaels, looking far more grizzled than before (the cowboy hat looks thinner). The fight is on, with Shawn taking Orton down and then hitting Sweet Chin Music. Shawn is rather fired up and glares at Vince to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Shawn’s return at the end was good and gives them a fresh main event that can get Orton over harder as the new champion. Other than that though, it seems that they are still trying to figure out what to do with Cena gone, which is going to take some time. The wrestling wasn’t very good for the most part and I’m not sure how well the angles are going to go with Cyber Sunday being such a wild card. Not the most thrilling show here, though it’s good to have Shawn back.

 

 

 

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No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s time for a special show as John Cena is no longer the WWE Champion due to suffering an injury on Raw. Therefore we are guaranteed a new champion, though it is not clear how the title will be decided. Other than that, the Smackdown side features Batista defending the World Title against Great Khali in a Punjabi Prison match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the story of Noah, including sending out a dove, which led to Noah and his family being shown mercy. That won’t be the case tonight, as we will have a new WWE Champion.

Here are Vince McMahon and William Regal with the WWE Title underneath a covering in the ring. McMahon recaps John Cena’s injury (the fans don’t seem crushed) and promises that we will see a WWE Title match right here tonight. Vince talks about giving the fans the power and what they want, which leads to a big Y2J chant. Vince: “I’m not going to give you that!” Instead, he gives us the new WWE Champion: Randy Orton!

We get a long celebration from Orton, who still has to defend the title tonight. Regal even lets him pick his own opponent (Fans: “Y2J!”), so Orton makes it clear that he will NOT be facing Cena tonight (the fans approve). Orton talks about all the people he has put on the shelf and says there is no one that comes close to him.

Cue HHH in his gear and the fans approve of this one. HHH issues the challenge but Orton says no, with HHH thinking that’s a good idea. Orton wouldn’t want his second World Title reign to be shorter than his first. The fans seem to want HHH to get the show, so he goads Vince about it a bit and asks if Orton is scared. HHH accuses Vince of being scared and having no guts, or perhaps even any grapefruits. That’s finally enough to get the match so let’s do it right now.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending and a Vince distraction lets him jump HHH at the bell. An elbow to the face sends Orton outside but HHH isn’t going to let him walk out. Back in and Orton gets to stomp away but HHH nails the running knee. Orton’s backbreaker gives him his own two and it’s time to hammer away on the mat as this is pretty basic offense so far.

The powerslam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. HHH fights up again and hits a heck of a running clothesline, followed by an even bigger superplex for two. The spinebuster gets two more and HHH throws him outside, only to get caught with the hanging DDT on the way back in.

The RKO is countered but so is the Pedigree, leaving them both needing a breather. Orton misses the knee drop so HHH grabs a Figure Four, sending Orton straight to the ropes. Back up and Orton sends him to the floor so HHH comes in off the top, only to get pulled back down. Orton misses a charge into the post though and HHH grabs a rollup to give him the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. Yeah it’s hot shotting the title change but this is a bit of a special circumstance. HHH winning the title is a nice feel good moment as he is the undisputed top good guy on the roster right now. Let the fans have their nice moment to get them over Cena, even if it means that Orton had the title for about twenty minutes. Good match too, as evil Orton vs. heroic HHH hadn’t been done very often at this point.

HHH celebrates for a pretty long time.

Orton runs into Vince McMahon backstage and the boss walks away without saying a word.

Jeff Hardy/Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

Bonus match, with Cade and Murdoch introducing Kennedy as their surprise partner. Cade and Kendrick start things off with Kendrick hitting a running crossbody. London comes in with a sunset flip for two and it’s off to Murdoch, who gets headlocked over almost immediately. Jeff uses London as Matt in Poetry in Motion but the sitout jawbreaker is shrugged off.

That lets Kennedy come in to stomp away but Jeff shrugs it off and hands it back to Kendrick. Cade gets forearmed and dropkicked, only to have Murdoch low bridge Kendrick to the floor. Murdoch gets dropped onto Kendrick for a legdrop and some knee drops make it worse. That lets Kennedy choke away in the corner and the cravate goes on. With that not getting him very far, it’s back to Cade, whose superplex attempt is cut off.

Instead, Kendrick comes back with a flying DDT and a VERY diving tag brings in Jeff to start cleaning house. The sitout gordbuster is dropped and Murdoch lands on his face but Hardy goes up for the Swanton anyway. Cade makes the save as everything breaks down, leaving Kennedy to hit the Green Bay Plunge to finish London.

Rating: C+. I can always go for the idea of throwing six people into one match and letting them do their thing like this. You can probably pencil in Kennedy as Hardy’s next Intercontinental Title challenger and that is the kind of place that would suit him well. Cade/Murdoch vs. London/Kendrick is a pairing that always works well enough so this was a fine use of pay per view time, especially for something unadvertised.

HHH and Batista admire their titles but HHH bumps into Vince McMahon. Vince doesn’t like to let his fans down, so HHH vs. Umaga is still on and the title is on the line.

ECW World Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V, with Matt Striker, is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match against Tommy Dreamer, who was already the #1 contender. An early lockup goes badly for Punk as V shoves him outside. Back in and V mounts him for some shots to the face but Punk is back up with some kicks and forearms. V misses a charge into the corner though and Punk hits a missile dropkick, only to have Striker come in for the fast DQ.

Post match V destroys Punk with a Samoan drop and a bunch of elbow drops. V leaves and Punk has to be helped out of the ring as this will continue.

Long recap of MVP and Matt Hardy’s various sports contests over the last ten (egads) weeks.

And now, a pizza eating contest, as hosted by Taz and scored by Maria and Melina. After some long entrances, MVP complains about eating this many calories, like so many people from Chicago clearly are. Maria says she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? MVP says deep dish pizza doesn’t help your IQ, so he and Matt get into it over all of these competitions again. They finally sit down and have two minutes to eat the most slices, with the women keeping score. After two minutes, Matt somehow wins 2-0 and then vomits on MVP. This was longer than any match on the show so far.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga, which stems from HHH mocking Vince McMahon for being Hornswoggle’s father. Vince brought Umaga back and sent him after HHH, setting up this match. Thanks to HHH winning the title earlier tonight, it is now a title match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH is defending and they go right to the slugout to start. A DDT has no effect on Umaga so HHH low bridges him out to the floor. HHH’s ram into the steps has no effect so HHH gets sent into them for some more impact. Back in and Umaga hits a superkick before sitting down on his chest. The middle rope headbutt misses though and HHH is back with the facebuster, again to no avail. The Samoan Spike is countered into a Pedigree attempt, which is countered as well.

HHH pops back up with a spinebuster but another Pedigree attempt is countered into the Samoan drop. They head outside with HHH being sent ribs first into the apron, followed by the bearhug inside. Even wild Samoans have psychology. Umaga’s swinging Rock Bottom gets two more and Umaga stays on the ribs. The running hip attack misses though and so does a charge into the post. That’s enough to set up the Pedigree to retain HHH’s title.

Rating: C+. This felt like the match before intermission at a house show as they ran through it rather quickly, which is understandable as it’s HHH’s second match of the night. Umaga wasn’t going to win the title and they weren’t going to give him a big win so soon after he was back from a major suspension, but he is fine as a dragon for HHH to slay.

SAVE US video.

We look at the Punjabi Prison.

Great Khali is meditating and Runjin Singh talks about the evil that Khali is channeling for this match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Finlay isn’t having this wristlock stuff to start and uppercuts Rey up against the ropes. A crossbody gets Rey out of trouble though and he hammers away in the corner to stagger Finlay for a change. Rey sends him outside but the baseball slid gets him caught in the ring skirt so the beating can be on again. Back in and Rey gets sent into the post, setting up the Fujiwara armbar.

A very hard clothesline takes Rey down again and Finlay grabs a hammerlock. Rey gets back up and sends him into the corner for the break, followed by another crossbody for another two. The springboard seated senton into a basement dropkick gets two but the 619 is cut off with another clothesline.

With the usual stuff not working, Finlay pulls off the turnbuckle pad. That’s a bit too obvious so Finlay grabs the Shillelagh, only to get hurricanranaed into the ropes. Finlay ducks the 619 (that’s a smart one) but Rey hits a top rope Fameasser instead, knocking Finlay off the apron straight onto the floor with a loud THUD. That looked horrible and the sound was even worse. It’s so bad that Finlay is out cold and the match is stopped as he is taken out on a stretcher.

Rating: C. There is always room for someone like Finlay against a fan favorite like Rey, though that ending is a rough thing to see. It’s always weird to rate a match that ends without a winner like this, but it was about what you would expect from these two. I could go with another from them when they get the chance to wrap it up properly.

Post match Finlay jumps off the stretcher and destroys Rey. That one got me so nicely done.

HHH is in the trainer’s room getting his ribs treated when Vince McMahon comes in. Vince guaranteed a new WWE Champion tonight and that is what we had. He guaranteed a WWE Title match and we did. The thing is, he also guaranteed a Last Man Standing match….so that is what HHH is getting, because Randy Orton has requested his automatic rematch. Vince: “If you can stand at all, champ.”

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and gets powered straight into the corner to start. A rollup out of the corner gives Michelle two but Beth hits the running shoulder to the ribs to cut her off. Michelle dropkicks her way out of trouble and grabs a short armscissors of all things. That’s broken up as well and Michelle dives into a World’s Strongest Slam for two.

The cobra clutch of all things goes on but Michelle does her best Bret Hart and climbs the corner for the backflip for two, with Beth not letting go as she kicks out. Candice drives her into the corner for the break and there’s a spinwheel kick. A high crossbody gives Candice two more and so does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth has had it and hits a backbreaker into the fisherman’s DDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was one of the flatter pay per view matches I can remember in a while as it just came and went. Candice losing the title is the right call, as there comes a point where her surviving against a monster like Phoenix is too much to accept. Phoenix is a different breed and should be a big thing in the division for a long time to come.

Post match Beth says this is the ushering in of the era of the Glamazon.

The Punjabi Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Batista won the title from Khali at Unforgiven in a triple threat and now it is time for the big showdown rematch. It’s basically “can Batista slay the monster” with some bells and whistles.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending inside the Punjabi Prison. There is a bamboo cage around the ring and then a much bigger one outside the ring. The inner cage has four doors that you have to call to be opened, which will have it opened for sixty seconds. After that, it stays closed permanently. You have to get out of the inner cage and then get over the bigger one to win. In other words, it’s more complicated than it needs to be and kind of hard to see through the big bars too, which is why it was only used a few times ever.

Khali goes after him with the chops to start but Batista knocks him back in the ropes to tie up the giant’s arms. JBL points out that Batista should be calling for a door but instead he charges into a boot like a moron as Khali gets his arms out. The big chop knocks Batista silly so Khali has a door opened. Batista makes the save though and the first door is officially closed for the rest of the match.

Some elbows in the corner have Batista in trouble but he comes back with a spear. The second door is open but Khali cuts him off this time and chokes against the cage until the door is officially closed. Khali pulls a strap off the cage and whips Batista down before calling for the third door to be opened. Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster though and crawls for the door, only to have Khali pull him back, meaning the door is officially closed.

That doesn’t work for Batista, who uses the same strap to beat on Khali but gets knocked down again with a single shot. The vice grip goes on so Khali calls for the last door to be open. Batista is back with a low blow to drop Khali, who is up in time to slam the door onto Batista’s back. The fourth door is officially closed so they have to go over the top to get out of the first cage.

Batista starts to go up but Khali pulls him back down for a crash. Khali manages to climb over the top of the first cage (that is some strong bamboo, mainly because it is supported by steel, because steel supported bamboo is a thing) to the floor. Batista is climbing up the inner structure and gets to the top as Khali gets to the top of the outer structure. In a pretty impressive move, Batista jumps from the inner cage to the outer and then beats Khali over the top and to the floor to retain.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse, but the problem is pretty obvious: this whole concept is so big and more complicated than it needs to be that it isn’t even fun. Also, I’m not sure how much of a signature match it can be for Khali when he hasn’t actually been in one of them before this. The ending was cool though as it felt like something out of the end of a movie and showed Batista was smart, which he has been before. Not a good match, but a clever ending.

Long recap of the WWE Title situation.

HHH is ready to fight one more time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH, with bad ribs, is defending in a Last Man Standing match. They stare at each other to start until Orton gets smart by going after the bad (and untaped) ribs. More shots to the ribs sent HHH outside, where his quick Pedigree attempt is countered with a legsweep to send the ribs into the ramp.

Back in and more shots to the ribs set up a belly to back drop onto the barricade for a six count. A whip into the steps gets six more so they head back inside. HHH manages a much needed facebuster for a breather but Orton’s backbreaker puts him down for eight more. That just has Orton frustrated so he grabs a TV cord and chokes HHH into some nasty spitting.

HHH gets up at nine so the annoyed Orton sends him outside. The ECW announcers’ table (with Joey and Tazz still there after their minute and thirty seven second match earlier) is loaded up and a monitor to the head rocks HHH. The RKO through the table is shoved off though and Orton crashes through the table hard. Orton is up at nine as well so HHH hits a spinebuster on the floor for another nine.

Some steps to the head get another nine count and they roll back inside. Orton manages a DDT onto a chair to stun HHH though and the RKO onto the open chair leave a bloody HHH down. The ropes get HHH back up and he throws in the crotch chop before falling to the mat again. Orton’s Punt is blocked though and HHH makes the fired up comeback by taking Orton outside and sending him into various objects.

Orton cuts him off though and a catapult sends HHH head first into the post for another near fall. The steps are picked up but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. That leaves Orton’s heads in the steps and it’s a chair shot to crush him again. Orton gets up again and the Pedigree is loaded up, only to have him counter into the RKO onto the table for the ten count and the title.

Rating: B. They picked it up in the end but this was a lot of standing around waiting after someone does something big. In other words, it’s a Last Man Standing match but it’s a Last Man Standing match without a reason for these two to hate each other. I do like that they gave us the kind of match they advertised, but it was a weird position to be in after the Cena vs. Orton feud got so personal and HHH was just a last minute substitute.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of the weirder shows that WWE has ever presented and I’m not really sure what to think of it. The wrestling is mostly good, save for the Punjabi Prison mess, but it felt like a better version of a Russo era Raw with the three title matches in one night. They were in a tough spot here though and they did a pretty good job so well done with this, though it’s a pretty weird one.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 1, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and the show is mostly together. The big story continues to be John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title, but we also seem to have the issues between Vince McMahon and HHH. The latter of those feuds comes to a head tonight as the two of them are facing off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going, with three not so high level looking wrestlers in the ring with him. Vince hypes up his main event with HHH and promises to win. We see a clip of Vince beating up HHH in various ways before Vince turns his attention to the three guys in the ring. Each one represents a different fighting style, starting with a four time All American amateur wrestler, followed by a fifth degree kempo karate black belt and finally, the Ohio sumo champion (no one seems convinced).

Vince offers to face all of them, only to have someone else do it as a preview for what is going to happen to HHH at No Mercy. Cue the returning Umaga to destroy all three of them, with Vince looking rather pleased. Umaga beats them up even more for a bonus and Vince’s happiness rises.

Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

London hurricanranas Murdoch down to start and hands it off to Kendrick. That means a gutbuster from Cade to take over, with Murdoch coming back in for a splash. A dropkick gets Kendrick out of trouble though and it’s Hardy coming in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and the Whisper in the Wind hits Cade but Hardy gets crotched on top. London hits a very out of nowhere dive and throws Murdoch back inside for Sliced Bread from Kendrick. Hardy drops the Swanton for the pin on Cade.

Rating: C+. It was a short match but they packed a lot into there, which is more than I would have expected. Hardy, London and Kendrick seem like three guys who would work well together as the high flying trio while the other three…well they’re feuding with the good guys so it makes sense to have them here. I’m not sure how much more you can get out of Benjamin vs. Hardy though, as Hardy needs some fresh competition.

Vince McMahon comes in to see William Regal and welcomes him back before praising Regal for making Mr. Kennedy vs. John Cena for tonight’s main event. He also asks Regal for a personal favor: take care of Hornswoggle tonight. Regal reluctantly agrees as Hornswoggle pops up. Vince leaves….and Regal has already lost Hornswoggle.

Randy Orton joins us via satellite and we see him Punting John Cena’s father a few weeks ago and then hitting him with an RKO two weeks ago. Orton promises to leave Cena laying the same way at No Mercy.

Some Cleveland Indians are here. That was a good year for the team so we’ll call that an upgrade.

The Diva Search girls ran an obstacle course on the beach.

William Regal goes looking for Hornswoggle and runs into the Highlanders. They haven’t seen Hornswoggle, but Regal wants to know why they turned down a match with Paul London and Brian Kendrick. Rory explains that it’s because they only want a Tag Team Title shot, which leaves Regal continuing his Hornswoggle search.

Hardcore Holly vs. Cody Rhodes

Rematch from last week when the returning Holly beat Rhodes without much trouble. Rhodes starts fast but gets shouldered down. Back up and Rhodes grabs an armbar but gets dropkicked for two. A small package gives Rhodes two so he tries to jump over Holly in the corner, earning himself an Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Here is Beth Phoenix for a chat and she would like Lilian Garcia to stay in the ring with her. Beth promises to win the Women’s Title on Sunday and wants Lilian to practice announcing her as the winner tonight. Lilian does, but throws in a caveat about how Phoenix has to actually win on Sunday. Phoenix literally goes for her throat but Candice Michelle runs in for the save.

SAVE_US video, now with some fresh codes, including things such as “Tron image”, “GRAND_SLAM” and “8.2.11/SAVIOR_SELF”, the latter of which is featured several times.

Vince McMahon vs. HHH

Before the match, Vince shows us a clip of HHH attacking Umaga with a chair and the sledgehammer last week to send him into a steroid suspension. HHH comes out but Vince cuts off his entrance pre-corner pose and says let’s go. Hold on though as there is no referee, so here is Carlito to be the guest referee.

Carlito does the weapons check, allowing Vince to slap HHH in the face. The bell rings and Vince immediately hides in the ropes, with Carlito covering him up. Vince bails to the floor so the chase is on, with HHH finally going around the other side to catch Vince on the floor. The Pedigree is broken up with a Backstabber so HHH hits Carlito low, which is enough for the DQ.

Post match HHH stays on Vince but here is Umaga for the fight. HHH hits a DDT, which has the expected results. A superkick sends HHH into the corner and there’s the running hip attack. Umaga stops to yell at Carlito so HHH pulls out the sledgehammer to scare Umaga off.

And now Marella At The Movies, featuring Santino Marella and Maria, though she doesn’t seem thrilled to be here. This week they are going to review The Condemned, which Maria thought was fun. Marella says it was fun if you like having your head bashed in with a mallet. He should have been the star, meaning it’s time for a clip with Santino included.

Cue Val Venis to interrupt (this seems to get Maria’s attention), but Santino doesn’t think much of Venis’ acting. He couldn’t believe what Venis did to that donkey in the Shrek based film. Venis offers Maria a spot in his next movie and the beatdown is on with Venis’ leg getting destroyed. I continue to be astounded that Venis is still employed.

John Cena doesn’t think much of the idea that THEY are saying he is going to lose to Randy Orton. It is time to talk about THEY, who know that Cena is losing and that he has changed and that Todd Grisham has naked pictures of Umaga on his phone. At No Mercy, Orton can hit him with everything from a bell to a microphone to a snow cone to a student loan but Cena will keep getting up every time. You put anyone in front of him and he will always get up and never quit, so let them talk. He’s going to beat Orton so bad that THEY are never going to forget it.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina wins a battle over the lockup to start and they go to the mat with Melina kicking away. Mickie fights up and hits some hard forearms but Melina kicks her in the head for two. The screaming reverse DDT is loaded up but Hornswoggle pops up from under the ring for a distraction. The freaked out Melina gets rolled up for the pin.

Post match Hornswoggle chases Melina underneath the ring and comes out with Melina’s clothes. Hornswoggle runs off, leaving Melina screaming. This was bad back then and it doesn’t hold up well here.

Post break, William Regal yells at Hornswoggle over what happened but Steve-O (from Jackass, and starring in a new upcoming USA series), comes in. Steve-O is here to find a wuss (point of his show), and the distraction lets Hornswoggle leave.

No Mercy rundown.

Steve-O comes in to see Ron Simmons, suggesting that he can make Simmons be less of a wuss. Simmons literally throws him out and hits the catchphrase.

John Cena vs. Mr. Kennedy

Non-title. Before the match, Kennedy talks about how he is going to make a statement by beating Cena. Kennedy grabs a headlock to start and then shoulders him down but Cena is back up with a hiptoss. The armbar goes on but Kennedy gets up, only to get driven into the corner. Kennedy fights out of the corner and punches Cena down before taking him outside for a whip into the steps. We take a break and come back with Kennedy grabbing a chinlock to keep Cena in trouble. Cena fights up and grabs a suplex, setting p the STFU for the very fast tap.

Rating: C. The ending was very quick and there is a reason for that. Cena tore his pectoral muscle when he gave Kennedy the hiptoss, making this a one on one match. There is only so much that can be done when you’re wrestling with one arm and while Cena did what he could, the match wasn’t very good as a result. Kennedy carried it as well as he could, even with the very sudden finish.

Post match Randy Orton runs in, apparently guilty of satellite fraud, and lays out Cena. The steps to the face set up an RKO onto the announcers’ table, with Orton counting to ten as Cena is out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was the big final push towards no Mercy and it only went so well. The biggest problem is that Orton vs. Cena has been set up for several weeks now and there is only so much that they can get out of one more week of building. The HHH vs. Umaga match had to get a last second build and that worked fine, as the match was already set up a month ago. The rest of the show was only ok, though the Cena situation is going to cause some problems.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 24, 2007
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to No Mercy and the main event of John Cena defending the WWE Title against Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match. That alone should be enough to carry the Raw side of the show but there is still time to fill in on the card. Maybe we can fill in some more of that this week, along with more Hornswoggle shenanigans. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Coach is in the ring, with security guards around him, and we see a recap of the recant issues between John Cena and Randy Orton. This includes last week, with Orton attacking John Cena’s father to end the show. As a result, Coach has suspended Orton indefinitely, but Coach isn’t going to let Cena take his rage out on everyone else. Coach brings out Vince McMahon, who talks about how everyone needs to show respect.

This includes HHH, who tried to embarrass him last week with a bunch of leprechaun jokes. Tonight, Vince is going to get that revenge as HHH faces Carlito inside a cage. Actually we’ll make it even bigger, as Vince himself will be Carlito’s partner. With that out of the way, Vince invites Hornswoggle to join them in the ring. Vince didn’t mean a bunch of the things he said last week and hopes that Hornswoggle loves him instead of wanting his money. Hornswoggle says he loves Vince and they share a big hug. Things seem to be going well and Vince even has a woman who would like to meet him.

Cue Melina in a green dress to say Hornswoggle (who is looking very nervous) is very cute. She asks “Horny” if he would like to get to know her so Hornswoggle jumps on her. Vince tells them to go have a beer and a good night (Vince: “Always use protection.”). With the two of them gone, Coach asks Vince if he can keep being General Manager when William Regal comes back next week but here is a ticked off John Cena to interrupt. Security comes in so Cena goes after Vince and Coach, with the bosses escaping. Vince says Cena’s title reign is in Coach’s hands.

Hardcore Holly vs. Cody Rhodes

This is Holly’s return after several months away. Before the match, Holly says Cody sounds like he belongs in a boy band instead of in a ring. Holly knocks him down without much trouble to start but Cody says hit him in the face. A sunset flip gives Cody two but Holly chops him in the corner. Cody snaps off a Russian legsweep for two and a dropkick keeps him in trouble. Something off the top rope misses though and the Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin.

Rating: C-. Short and to the point here as Holly beat Rhodes up without much effort, but Rhodes was trying as always. Holly’s return was treated as a big deal and I could see him going a little somewhere in the midcard. Rhodes losing is a bit weird after he had been on a winning streak, but at least it feels like he has a bit more experience now and isn’t just skating on his family history.

Post match, Holly shakes his head down at Rhodes.

We recap the John Cena/Coach situation.

Randy Orton joins us via satellite and calls Cena a phony. Cena knew he was in trouble at Unforgiven so he got himself disqualified. Maybe Cena’s dad just lives off of Cena, but Orton is a professional wrestler. Last week Orton took out Cena’s dad and now he’s going to be ready to take the title from Cena in the Last Man Standing match at No Mercy.

Santino Marella vs. Ron Simmons

Maria is here with Santino and we get the first mention of Teddy Long’s apparent heart attack on Smackdown. No update or anything, but it was mentioned. Simmons hammers him in the face to start so Santino bails out to the floor. The chase lets Santino catch him on the way back in and stomp away, setting up a reverse chinlock. Simmons fights up but the threat of a powerslam sends Marella bailing to the floor again, this time for the countout.

Rating: D. This was about what you would expect as neither of them was exactly on fire here. Simmons was long retired at this point and did little more than punch in between Marella’s running away. That’s about what the match should have been, and it would have been hard to accept the idea of Santino beating Simmons, even at this age.

Post match, Simmons hits the catchphrase.

The Diva Search girls had a limbo contest. Next week: the obstacle course.

Jillian Hall comes up to Melina in the back and asks where Hornswoggle is. Melina seems ok with going on a date with him before revealing that she’s only doing this for a shot at the Women’s Title. She’s off to take a shower.

The Highlanders ask Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for a Tag Team Title shot with any stipulation the champs want. Then they pull up their kilts, much to the champions’ disgust.

The cage is lowered.

Carlito/Vince McMahon vs. HHH

Inside a cage. HHH punches Carlito down and pulls Vince off the cage wall. More right hands drop Carlito again and Vince gets pulled back through the door as well. HHH crotches Vince on top so Carlito hits HHH low and sends him into the cage. We take a break and come back with HHH throwing Carlito at Vince to drive him into the cage. Carlito has to save Vince from a Pedigree with a Backstabber so Vince goes up. HHH cuts off Carlito but Vince is able to escape for the win.

Rating: D+. They didn’t exactly burn the house down here as this was much more about giving us something to keep Vince vs. HHH going. Vince was added to the match out of nowhere, though that might be due to WWE realizing that Carlito vs. HHH isn’t exactly interesting. The match was nothing to see, though they didn’t stay on it for very long.

Post match Vince leaves but Carlito is left alone with HHH. Some rams into the cage set up a spinebuster and the Pedigree onto the chair leaves Carlito laying.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title, joined in progress and with the Highlanders at ringside. Cade hits a backbreaker on London so Murdoch can come in with an ax handle. The abdominal stretch doesn’t last long as London gets over to Kendrick. House is cleaned and a quick Sliced Bread….draws in the Highlanders to jump Kendrick for the DQ.

Post match the big beatdown is on as London and Kendrick are left laying.

Hornswoggle spies on Melina in the shower, then chases her around backstage and steals her towel. This freaks Melina out, but she didn’t seem to mind showering in front of a camera.

Ad for the Condemned, complete with Santino Marella saying he isn’t impressed with Steve Austin’s acting.

HHH comes up to Vince McMahon in the back and challenges him to a one on one match. Vince: “You’re on.” HHH: “And you’re screwed.”

Jeff Hardy/Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix/Shelton Benjamin

Milwaukee is the hometown girl. Benjamin takes Hardy into the corner to start but some shots to the face stagger Benjamin for a change. A mule kick sends Benjamin outside and Candice takes out Beth, leaving Hardy to hit a big dive to the floor. We take a break and come back with Beth working on a seated full nelson but Candice fights up (to a heck of a reaction).

The hot tag brings in Hardy for a Whisper in the Wind (with Lawler having to correct JR on the name). Benjamin powerbombs him down though and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back. A backbreaker gives Benjamin two but Hardy is back up with a crossbody. It’s back to the women, with a jawbreaker sending Beth into the corner. Candice plays Jeff in Poetry in Motion but Beth is back up with the fisherman’s buster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well so much for the crowd being happy. It should set up a title rematch between Candice and Beth, which almost has to wrap up Candice’s title reign once and for all. The match was short enough and to the point, though Hardy and Benjamin were little more than extra players for the women’s stuff.

Coach has a press conference, suggesting that John Cena is about to be stripped of the title. Also, Randy Orton has been suspended for twenty four hours, because anyone could do what Orton did to Cena’s dad.

And now, for something new: a blue Matrix style video, with the words SAVE_US.222 popping up. Commentary doesn’t reference it, as I’m sure this won’t mean anything.

Coach is in the ring with security around him and a bunch of photographers on the floor. He orders Cena out here and after a bit, here is Cena, wearing the title for a change. Coach brings up Cena’s dad getting beaten up last week and now he wants Cena to BEG to keep his title. Cena’s shirt comes off and Coach’s jacket does too, with Coach issuing threats from the security. Hold on though as the bell rings and Lilian Garcia has a ruling from Mr. McMahon: Cena is still champion and will get to face Coach in a tables match RIGHT NOW!

John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman

Non-title and Cena punches him down, grabs the STFU, and hits the FU through a table for the fast win.

Post match Hornswoggle comes out on the stage. Cena: “Thank you Mr. McMahon.” Ok that was clever.

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as other than a few nice moments, there was nothing to cheer. Hornsowggle’s bit at the end was good, but it’s the same one who spied on Melina in the shower and then chased her around the arena. Other than that, there was some lame wrestling and little more than another week of filler on the way to another Orton vs. Cena title match. Not a good show, but maybe the returning stars will help them next week.

 

 

 

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Unforgiven 2007
Date: September 16, 2007
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

We’re in that weird period where we have a lot of Summerslam rematches and some of them are a bit more interesting than others. There are a few interesting possibilities though, as Undertaker is returning to face Mark Henry and Randy Orton is getting another WWE Title shot at a furious John Cena. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Undertaker returning, although this one is a bit more intense and detailed. This time Undertaker is shown in the middle of a desert standing on a mountain (or close enough). And nothing else is happening on the show apparently.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Punk is defending and we see a recap of him taking the title from John Morrison. Then Morrison got busted in the steroids scandal so here is Burke challenging instead. Burke getting a jobber’s entrance should tell you all you need to know about this one. They fight over a lockup to start with neither getting anywhere early on. Now it’s to the mat, where Burke has to bail to the ropes to escape a cross armbreaker.

Back up and Burke starts elbowing at the head, only to get kicked right back down. Kicks to the legs and back keep Burke in trouble but he pulls Punk down out of the corner to take over. We hit a double arm crank until Punk mule kicks his way to freedom. The running knee in the corner sets up the springboard clothesline for two so Burke bails outside. Punk tries to go after him but gets pulled down for a crash (and a loud thud).

Back in and a running forearm to Punk’s back gets two and we hit the Boston crab. A screaming Punk makes it over to the rope for the break so Burke rolls some German suplexes. An STO gives Burke two and it’s off to something like what Rhea Ripley would dub the Prism Trap (minus the swinging around). Punk slips out and hits an enziguri, only to get punched in the head for two. Burke slaps him in the face on the mat a few times, only to get rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Points for the quick and surprise ending there as that’s a nice thing to see for a change. There was almost zero doubt about the winner here and that doesn’t make for the best result. Burke had to be reheated after his feud with Punk was over about a month and a half ago but what else were they going to be able to do here? The ECW roster is rather weak at the moment and with Morrison gone, this is about as good as they could have done.

We look at the saga of Matt Hardy vs. MVP, which eventually saw them being forced to team up. Then they won the Tag Team Titles, which they have to defend tonight.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

MVP/Hardy are defending and the challengers have Cherry with them. Matt and Domino look to start but MVP tags himself in to grab a wristlock instead. There’s a slam to put Domino in and MVP tags out via a slap to Matt’s chest. Hardy hits a neckbreaker on Deuce and brings MVP back in, allowing Deuce to take over in the corner.

MVP jumping bulldogs his way out of trouble and mocks Matt’s screaming elbow, allowing Deuce to get back up. Matt tags himself back in and teases his own Ballin. MVP snaps so Domino uses the distraction to come in and clean house. The chinlock doesn’t last long but an elbow to the face gives Deuce two. Something like a seated abdominal stretch goes on but he fights up and scores with the Side Effect.

That’s still not enough for the tag though as Domino knocks MVP off the apron and grabs another chinlock. MVP walks out, leaving Hardy to kick out of a suplex/high crossbody combination. Now MVP gets back on the apron as Matt hits a double clothesline. Another slap brings in MVP, who takes his time coming in to clean house. Ballin connects but Matt tags himself in and hits the Twist of Fate to retain instead.

Rating: C. This was much more about storytelling than the wrestling and in this case, that’s ok. The Matt/MVP story isn’t about the tag team stuff, which is little more than a way to keep things going until we get to the big showdown. The good side though is that the tag stuff has wound up being entertaining anyway so nothing has gotten boring yet. Totally fine match, but Deuce N Domino could have been anyone.

Matt celebrates with all three titles, just to rub it in to MVP.

Rey Mysterio acknowledges that he is not at 100% coming into tonight’s triple threat title match but he’s going to give it his all. He overcomes the odds and will do it again to win the title, just like he did last year.

HHH vs. Carlito

Only HHH can get disqualified. HHH elbows him to the floor to start and then punches away back inside. Carlito gets knocked outside again so let’s bring in a trashcan. Instead, HHH clotheslines him right back to the floor, this time following with a drive into the barricade. Back in and some elbows to the back keep Carlito in trouble, with a backbreaker making it worse. We hit the abdominal stretch as you don’t often get to see HHH picking someone apart like this.

HHH even grabs a rope, then switches to the hair when the referee goes to check. The hair finally gets him caught and the referee breaks it, earning himself some booing. They head outside again with Carlito being thrown over the announcers’ table but coming back with a bell shot to take over.

Back in and Carlito chokes away with a cable before switching to a different form of choking. The apple is loaded up but HHH Punches it out of his mouth. You don’t do that to Carlito, who pounds away with the trashcan for two more, leaving JR to wonder what kind of an apple Carlito had. A belly to back suplex onto the trashcan gets two so Carlito loads a fresh trashcan into the corner.

That takes way too long though and HHH hits a clothesline. There’s the jumping knee into the facebuster for two and HHH hammers away in the corner. Carlito finds some powder to blind HHH but a chair shot is countered into a spinebuster. The referee has to take a chair away from HHH, so it’s a low blow behind the referee’s back, setting up the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about as good as you were going to get out of Carlito vs. HHH, as Carlito has never been anything resembling a threat at this level. Even stacking the deck against HHH didn’t make this a tough one, as HHH cut him apart and then won in the end. That being said, there is something fun about HHH beating Carlito down and then cheating ala Ric Flair to win in the end. Not a dramatic match, but it was fun.

Batista hits on Maria and then promises to win the World Title because the time for talking is over.

Video on Beth Phoenix wrecking everyone on her way to Candice Michelle and the Women’s Title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and grabs a headlock to start. Phoenix isn’t having that and lifts her into the air by the arm. A wristdrag takes Phoenix down but she knocks Candice into the corner without much effort. The double arm crank goes on as Phoenix doesn’t exactly seem to think much of Phoenix.

An over the shoulder backbreaker has Candice in more trouble but she slips out and forearms away. That earns her a hard drive into the corner though and a gorilla press gives Phoenix two. Another backbreaker is loaded up but Candice reverses into a crucifix for the fast pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but it was a glorified squash until Candice stole a win to retain the title. The good thing is that it sets up a rematch and it is hard to imagine that Phoenix doesn’t pick up the title in the second match. Candice is absolutely trying though and the match was more boring than bad, which is a step up from some of the stereotypical Divas matches.

Great Khali is ready to crush people and retain the title. He even demonstrates the Vice Grip on a some melons, one of which has a Rey Mysterio match applied.

We recap Great Khali defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Batista. Khali is the unstoppable monster and the odd friends are going to try and get the title off of him. It is probably time for a title change, but Khali retaining, just because of WWE’s love of monsters, wouldn’t be shocking either.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Khali is defending and has to fight off both of them at once. Rey is sent outside, leaving Batista to get stomped down in the corner. That’s broken up and Batista hits the shoulders to the ribs until Rey comes back in. More double teaming is teased but Rey rolls Batista up for a surprise two. A springboard seated senton drops Batista but Khali kicks Rey in the face.

Batista blocks the Vice Grip for a bit before Khali manages to get it on. Rey’s chair to the back breaks it up, earning himself a punch to the face. Batista is sent outside, leaving Khali to get stomped down in the corner. Rey manages to fight out of a nerve hold but gets kicked in the face. The Vice Grip is loaded up again but Batista makes the save and ties Khali in the ropes. Rey is right there with a quick 619 to Batista and another to Khali. Batista powerbombs Rey onto Khali though and the spinebuster is enough to finish Khali to give Batista the title back.

Rating: C. This was about as good as it was going to get as it was basically Batista and Rey taking their turns against Khali, who could only do so much. The good thing is they did what they could and it could have been a lot worse. Batista getting the title back is one of the better ideas, as he can keep it warm until they get on to the next thing while still feeling like a big deal in his own right.

Batista celebrates for a long time.

Long recap of Hornswoggle being revealed as Mr. McMahon’s son.

HHH congratulates Batista on winning the title but reminds him how hard it is to keep it.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

London and Kendrick are challenging. Kendrick and Cade start things off with Kendrick grabbing a hammerlock. A hiptoss gets Cade out of trouble and he puts on a headlock to slow Kendrick down. Murdoch comes in and gets armdragged into an armbar, allowing London to hit a top rope elbow to the arm. There’s a top rope stomp to the arm, setting up a slingshot kick to Murdoch’s face to give London two.

Everything breaks down for a bit and the champs are knocked outside, setting up stereo dives. Back in and Murdoch knocks Kendrick off the apron for a hard crash. That’s good for two back inside and Murdoch sends him into the corner to give Cade his own near fall. Something like a middle rope powerslam plants Kendrick for two more, with London having to make the save.

The neck crank goes on to keep Kendrick down until he slips out, as you might have guessed because it was a neck crank. Cade charges into a raised boot in the corner so Murdoch goes up, only to try an ax handle to a downed Kendrick. Since that move is only designed to have Kendrick raise his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air, he raises his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air.

The hot tag brings in London to clean house, including a springboard double stomp to Cade’s back. A standing shooting star press gives London two and Kendrick’s high crossbody gets the same. Murdoch kicks Kendrick in the face for two more as everything breaks down. Sliced Bread is countered and Cade’s sitout spinebuster finishes Kendrick to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and they got to do it again here, which was nice to see on the bigger stage. Brawlers (or however you describe Cade/Murdoch) vs. fast high fliers will work every time and that was the case again here. The match might not have been a classic, but it was a fine way to use some pay per view time (and almost the most given to any match on the show).

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for Cena’s Raw World Title. Cena retained the title at Summerslam so Orton Punted Cena’s dad in the head, sending Cena into a rage. And a rematch.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is defending and his dad is in the front row. They stare each other down and then slug away in the middle of the ring with Cena getting the better of things (shocking). Orton gets sent hard into the corner and they head outside with Cena standing on his head. Cena’s dad continues to have the angriest glare on his face as Cena takes it back inside to keep up the beating.

Orton catches him with an uppercut for a breather and there’s the hanging DDT for two. A sleeper goes on but Orton reverts to form and switches it into a chinlock. Cena actually has to power out and starts hammering away in the corner, eventually shoving the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Well that was kind of lame, as this seemed to be more of a match to bridge us between the first match and the big blowoff instead of something that actually mattered. It wasn’t even eight minutes long and a good chunk of that was spent in a chinlock. Cena being angry and wanting to hurt Orton makes sense, but this felt like it should have been a run of the mill Raw main event rather than a pay per view title match.

Post match Cena goes after him again but gets his neck snapped across the top. Cena’s dad tries to make the save but gets beaten down again, drawing out Cena for the save. Cena grabs the STF so Cena’s dad can add a Punt of his own. That worked, even if the kick was kind of (understandably) terrible.

In the back, Coach yells at John Cena’s dad and makes Cena vs. Randy Orton III in a Last Man Standing match. Cena runs in to grab Coach by the lapels and say you don’t mess with family before throwing him down.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry attacked Henry and put him out of action a few months ago, meaning it is time for revenge. And pain.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants Undertaker out here, which triggers the big intro, complete with gong. The set even falls down to reveal Undertaker’s symbol, which catches on fire. Undertaker rises up and yeah this is going to hurt. Henry backs up from the staredown and Undertaker starts punching away at the bell. A charge is pulled out of the air though and Henry drives him into the corner.

Undertaker headbutts his way out of trouble but Old School is broken up. Instead it’s a superplex to bring Undertaker crashing back down but he doesn’t take kindly to being kicked in the face. A clothesline knocks Henry outside and Undertaker punches him up against the barricade. Undertaker stops to glare at the referee though, allowing Henry to hit what might have been a low blow.

Back in and a splash gives Henry two, followed by a second for two more. The third misses though, meaning it’s time for the slugout. Undertaker tries what looks to be a Downward Spiral but it gets countered into something like an STO (or Henry didn’t know how to take it). There’s another splash (ok we get the idea) but this time Undertaker sits up when Henry doesn’t cover.

Some charges in the corner set up Old School and the chokeslam drops Henry for another two. Henry cuts off a charge with a bearhug so Undertaker grabs him by the throat. That’s countered with a drive into the corner so Henry can rain down right hands. Since Henry has apparently not watched an Undertaker match in the last seven years or so, he earns the Last Ride out of the corner to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C+. I can go for Undertaker throwing people around and that Last Ride looked pretty awesome, as Henry pretty much crashed down from the ropes. Undertaker was going to win here, but it was about bringing him back and putting him straight into the main event scene again. Good enough power brawl, even if it wasn’t about the drama over the results.

Undertaker signals that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It says a lot that it felt like nothing happened here despite the World Title changing hands. The wrestling was decent enough, though nothing is worth watching and some of the matches are forgettable just a little bit after the show ended. The show isn’t bad and there are some completely watchable parts, but it is the most skippable show I can remember in a very long time.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2007
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the waste of time that was Unforgiven and now it is time to start getting ready for No Mercy. Last night’s show was so important that they have already announced the main event for next month’s pay per view. John Cena got disqualified against Randy Orton, so it’s time for a Last Man Standing match for Cena’s title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena vs. Randy Orton, with Cena snapping over Orton attacking Cena’s father.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena knows he hasn’t been himself lately and he wants to say he is sorry. Tonight he is better though and he feels FABULOUS. It feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders because he lost to Randy Orton! Last night his dad had the guts to show up and make him the proudest son in the world. Orton is stupid enough to think this is over and want a rematch. Then there is Coach, who made it even worse for Orton by giving him a Last Man Standing match at No Mercy.

That means no rules, no pinfalls and no disqualifications, so what he did last night is perfectly legal. At No Mercy, he is going through Orton like a hot knife through butter….but here is Coach to interrupt. Coach says that Cena should be glad he still has a job after last night, so tonight it’s payback time. Tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena, which works rather well for the champ. Hold on though, because Coach didn’t mean this Cena, but rather Cena’s dad, who can either have the match or have Cena stripped of the title.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and gets caught in a northern lights suplex just after the bell. An atomic drop sets up the legdrop between the legs to put Benjamin down though and Hardy takes over. There’s an armdrag into an armbar and they fight over a top wristlock. A backdrop puts Benjamin on the apron and there’s a kick to the chest to put him outside. Hardy hits the required dive to take Benjamin down again and we take a break.

Back with Benjamin working on a neck crank (with the replay showing Hardy missing the Whisper in the Wind and getting kicked in the head) before pounding away in the corner. A neckbreaker gives Benjamin two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up as well and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. Now the Whisper in the Wind can work but Benjamin grabs a backbreaker for two more. A reverse DDT gets the same so Benjamin puts him on top, only to get shoved down. The Swanton retains Jeff’s title.

Rating: C+. You knew these two were going to be able to have a good match with each other due to pure talent and it was a completely fine TV title defense for Hardy. It’s a way to get Hardy back on track after he got squashed by Khali last week so this was about as fine of a way as he had to be back to normal again.

The Diva Search finalists play beach volleyball. I think you get the idea here. In case you didn’t, there is a limbo competition on WWE.com.

Coach joins an annoyed Vince McMahon in his limo to try and calm him down. Vince is annoyed about Hornswoggle….who is in the limo also, eating Lucky Charms and restrained by tape because he’s an infant. How we didn’t hear Hornswoggle until the camera was on him is not clear, but Coach takes him inside (biting ensues).

John Cena tries to talk his dad out of wrestling tonight but Cena’s dad insists on doing it.

Santino knocks on the Divas locker room door, looking for Maria, but finding Jillian Hall instead. Maria wanted to see the Condemned, even though Steve Austin’s performance was worse than Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards. Jillian: “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!” Santino wants to impress Maria so Jillian suggests a country duet together (Nashville and all). She starts a little Achy Breaky Heart and Santino agrees to save his ears. Don’t worry either, as he has another idea.

Vince McMahon is still yelling at Coach but they hear Irish music coming from Vince’s office. The office is now filled with green balloons and shamrocks, plus piles of Lucky Charms. Vince: “THIS IS ON YOU!” Hornswoggle pops up so Coach chases him off as a unicorn pops up to scare Vince.

Jim Duggan vs. Daivari

Flag match because reasons. Daivari goes for the flag to start but gets pulled back down. They take turns pulling the others to the mat until Daivari gets crotched on top. Duggan punches him down, then sends him into the post and pulls down the flag for the win.

Cody Rhodes volunteers to take John Cena’s dad’s place against Randy Orton but Coach turns him down. John Cena comes in and threatens Coach, who gives Cena a match tonight. If Cena wins, his dad is off the hook, but if not, the match is still on.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. As you might have seen last week, he has indeed fathered a son in Hornswoggle, who comes out doing a jig. Vince kneels down next to Hornswoggle and says that when he dies, Hornswoggle will get a lot of money. Hornswoggle: “Money money!” Vince has some papers with him tonight….because he is putting Hornswoggle up for adoption!

Cue a couple (Ed and Alice Koskey) with their attorney but Hornswoggle hugs Vince. That doesn’t sit well with the boss, so Hornswoggle pulls down Ed’s pants and bites the back of Alice’s dress. The Koskeys run off so Vince gets serious and tells him to get away from him. Vince throws him out and the fans are not happy with him. He insists that anyone here would have done the same thing but here is HHH to interrupt.

HHH takes credit for decorating Vince’s office earlier, which was difficult because it’s hard to find a unicorn around here. He knew Vince had slept with some trolls, but he didn’t know about elves, fairies and hobgoblins. Vince: “I’VE NEVER SLEPT WITH FAIRIES!” HHH: “That’s not what I read on the internet.” HHH thinks the Genetic Jackhammer had too much genetic Jack Daniels and now he’s a genetic jackass.

It isn’t surprising though, because he is short tempered, short sighted and a certain part of him is microscopic. Vince: “Are you finished?” HHH: “That’s the same thing Hornswoggle’s mom asked you the night you slipped her the shillelagh.” Just between them, did they do it on the Yellow Brick Road? Vince is livid, but one more question: was she magically delicious? Vince puts him in a match right now, which I believe had been mentioned earlier.

HHH vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title. Joined in progress with HHH clotheslining them down as Carlito comes out to watch. We settle down to Cade hitting a neckbreaker for two as we’ll be having tags in this one. Murdoch comes in and pounds away in the corner, setting up a Blockbuster for two. Cade grabs the neck crank before switching to a leg lariat for two. HHH fights up without much trouble though, knocks Murdoch off the apron, and finishes Cade with the spinebuster.

Rating: C-. I know it’s HHH, but beating the Tag Team Champions on your own so quickly isn’t exactly the easiest thing to see. It would be nice if there were some other villains who could have taken this spot but that isn’t how the tag team division works. This was about having HHH break a sweat before we get to continue the epic HHH vs. Carlito feud. I’m sure there are twelve people out there who want to see it keep going.

Post match Carlito, Cade and Murdoch stomp HHH down but Paul London and Brian Kendrick make the save. Cade and Murdoch leave so Carlito gets Pedigreed. HHH isn’t sure what to think….and Pedigrees both of them.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Melina/Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is at ringside. Mickie and Melina lock up to start until a neckbreaker takes Melina down. Jillian shoves Mickie off the top though and gets to come in to toss Mickie down by the hair. That’s about it for Mickie being in trouble though and she gets over for the tag off to Candice. House is cleaned and the Candy Wrapper finishes Jillian in short order.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to glare at Candice.

The Condemned is on DVD tomorrow.

Vince McMahon is leaving and recaps the night, with Coach saying no one has seen Hornswoggle since Vince yelled at him. With that, Vince gets in his limo to leave, with Hornswoggle popping out of the trunk.

John Cena vs. ???

Non-title and if Cena wins, his dad is out of the match with Randy Orton. The opponent is….Santino Marella, which has Cena wondering if this is serious. So Santino is doing this to impress Maria, but Coach agreed to it? Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle but Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena for the DQ.

Post match Orton handcuffs him to the ropes. Cue Coach to say that the match is still on, because Cena had to win the match by pinfall. That feels like a quick correction for Orton hitting the wrong person.

Randy Orton vs. Mr. Cena

For reasons I don’t want to fathom, Orton went backstage during the break and does a full entrance here. John Cena is still on the floor and handcuffed to the bottom rope. The bell rings so Orton knocks him down and starts the stomping while looking down at Cena on the floor. The beating continues until Cody Rhodes runs in for the DQ.

Post match Orton sends Rhodes into the steps and RKO’s Mr. Cena. With his dad down, Cena unhooks the turnbuckle to escape and chases Orton off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Outside of Vince now having a son and interacting with him, this felt like a show where almost nothing changed. Cena still wants to wreck Orton for what he did to his dad, HHH is still tormenting Vince and….what else is there here? It isn’t a bad show, but it seems like everything is in a holding pattern until everyone gets back from their suspensions. Understandable, but it isn’t making things easy to watch.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2007
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the big reveal as this week will see the reveal of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. This is the kind of story that feels like it should be a huge moment, with Mr. Kennedy feeling like the likely surprise, but that pesky steroids suspension seems to be throwing a wrench into the plans. That should open up a new door too, so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting fast because here is Vince McMahon, with Coach, to get things going. Vince recaps the story, saying that he has an illegitimate son and that he is a “WWO” (Vince: “Let me try that again.”) superstar. Vince blames the mother for causing all of these problems before informing the fans that Coach DOES NOT suck. The only thing that makes Vince feel better is that his son isn’t from Green Bay, like Mr. Kennedy, who is on the current WWE Magazine. Vince happens to have a copy, which he has Coach rip up.

Enough of that though, as Vince wants to know who his son is, which brings out Great Khali. Runjin Singh translates for Great Khali, who said that “things are looking up” must mean him and he would be proud to be called The Great McMahon. Cue JBL to interrupt to talk about how he and Vince both love money. JBL: “Put Big Gulp on a leash.” Even in this market, he can guarantee and things are looking up. Vince owns wrestling and JBL is a wrestling god. They even go to the same barber!

He would love to be John Bradshaw McMahon but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt this time. Coach: “What are you doing out here?” Jeff: “I’m not really sure.” Jeff thinks “things are looking up” might mean him diving off the ladder, but he certainly hopes he isn’t the son. JBL yells about Hardy and Khali’s hair, but here is Mr. Johnson, the son’s mother’s lawyer.

Vince goes into a rant about how much he hates attorneys before being told his son will be revealed at some point tonight. For now, the only thing Johnson will reveal is that Vince’s son is NOT Jeff Hardy. Jeff: “PRAISE THE LORD YEAH!” That celebration earns Jeff a singles match with Great Khali later tonight.

We see some photos of the South African tour, including Paul London and Brian Kendrick winning the Tag Team Titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, only to lose them back three days later.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade

Brian Kendrick and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Cade headlocks him down to start so London pops up with a hurricanrana. A belly to back suplex drops London right back down and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either as London is up with a springboard missile dropkick. Murdoch tries to offer a distraction….but it lets Kendrick come in for Sliced Bread. London adds the running shooting star press for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and it was a way to bridge the feud to Sunday. I like the title switches on the tour as it gave this feud a bit of life, as otherwise it was just London and Kendrick getting another title shot. You can only get so far when there is no chance of a title switch and now they gave the thing a bit more interest.

We recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s dad two weeks ago, sending Cena over the edge with an attack on William Regal last week. As a result, Cena is barred from the building this week.

Coach tells Vince McMahon that William Regal is doing better but has a lot of recovering to do. As a result, Coach has banned John Cena from the building tonight, which Vince doesn’t like. Coach has another idea though, as he brings in the man who the fans have voted as the second most likely star to be Vince’s son: Stevie Richards! Vince cracks up laughing and sends Stevie away before asking Coach who was #1 in the audience vote. That would be HHH, which doesn’t sit well with Vince.

We look back at HHH beating up Carlito and REALLY beating up Umaga.

Carlito is ready to destroy HHH on Sunday at Unforgiven. As for tonight, Carlito is full of surprises.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito is at ringside. HHH wins an early slugout and sends him shoulder first into the post. It works so well that HHH does it again before throwing Shelton into Carlito. We take a break and come back with HHH fighting out of a chinlock but getting DDTed for two. The chinlock goes on again so HHH fights up again, only to get caught with the spinning clothesline from the top. HHH’s standing clothesline connects to put both of them down for a breather. Back up and HHH hits a spinebuster, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more like the old school Benjamin and that is a very good thing to see. It’s great to have him showing off his offense and he looked like his old self here. That being said, he was little more than cannon fodder for HHH, which isn’t a big surprise. Nice match here, as HHH continues to get back to normal.

Post match Carlito goes after HHH but gets cut off. Cue Coach to say Vince McMahon is sick of HHH being disrespectful. Therefore, Carlito vs. HHH at Unforgiven is now No DQ….for Carlito only.

A car arrives and since it isn’t John Cena’s, he can roll right in.

Here is Randy Orton, with security, for a chat. Orton knows John Cena is watching at home, maybe with his dad. If that is the case, he needs to turn the volume down because his dad’s head must be throbbing. This Sunday at Unforgiven, it is one year since Cena won the WWE Title. Orton is in Cena’s head though and he is going to use that opening to take Cena down. Cue Cena through the crowd to get his hands on Orton but security holds him back so Orton can escape.

In the back, Vince McMahon yells at Coach for not keeping Cena out. Cue security, who still can’t hold Cena back. Cena gets in Vince’s face and says, as a man, that he knows what is happening to Orton at Unforgiven. Orton is going to feel pain and vengeance in his bones for Cena’s father. That is something even Vince can understand, and with that, Cena leaves.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Mickie flips out of an early snapmare attempt but gets whipped into the corner. That means a handspring elbow connects to give Jillian two as Candice talks about facing Beth Phoenix. Jillian pulls her down hard out of the corner and seems to rub Mickie’s face into her chest. Apparently it wakes Mickie up enough to kick Jillian in the head for the pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take both of them out so Candice runs in for the failed save attempt.

Sandman vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Santino mourns the loss of Luciano Pavarotti, but at least he passed away before he had to see Steve Austin in the Condemned. Santino doesn’t understand this lack of culture but Sandman’s entrance cuts him off. Once Sandman gets rid of the kendo stick, Santino starts pounding him down and goes after the leg. A splash hits raised knees though and Sandman knocks him outside. That means a big dive (there’s a surprise) from Sandman but Marella uses the kendo stick for the DQ.

Post match Santino tries to break the stick over his own knee but hurts himself. Sandman gets the cage to chase him off.

Post break Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about Santino being so different lately. She thinks they might need to split up but here is Santino to jump Simmons. Santino even does Simmons’ catchphrase, which should signal his doom.

The Diva Search is coming back. Great. We get the first look at the finalists, including Eve Torres, Taryn Terrell and Lena Yada.

Unforgiven rundown.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Khali throws him into the corner to start for the elbow to the face. The Whisper in the Wind is knocked away and Khali hits a big boot. The Vice Grip finishes Hardy in a hurry. Your Intercontinental Champion everyone.

Post match here is Batista to spear Khali down without much effort.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for the big reveal, with the male roster surrounding the ring as well. HHH comes out last and Vince isn’t exactly pleased. Vince knows that one of these men is his son and wants to know who gets to be a McMahon. He wants to know who it is right now but here is Mr. Johnson on the Titantron. In accordance with his client’s wishes, he is going to eliminate some of the possible names.

First up, the son is not extreme, meaning ECW is out. Vince: “Thank God it’s not Balls Mahoney.” The son also has a fondness for gold, meaning he is a current or former champion. Next up is that the son’s skin is fair, which Vince (rather rapidly) points out means he is Caucasian. Vince has everyone left get in the ring, as he is told that the son’s hair is fair as well.

That leaves us with Sandman, JBL, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch and HHH, though the fans want Kennedy (not here). Vince shoots that down before giving us the next clue: “Individual.” That takes Vince some time to figure out but it means he isn’t a tag wrestler. The final clue: the son loves to play the game.

That seems to leave HHH, who isn’t happy either. Vince says this isn’t right, with Johnson agreeing. The son loves to play games, such as hide and seek or marbles….because it’s HORNSWOGGLE! HHH nearly falls over in laughter as Hornswoggle pops out, grabs Vince’s leg, and puts his hat on Vince’s head to end the show.

So there’s your big reveal. After several weeks, we get Hornswoggle as the big gag blowoff, which was disappointing back in the day and it’s disappointing now. This time it isn’t WWE’s fault as the Kennedy suspension blew up what could have been a career making story, but ultimately there is only so much that can be done when the key player is gone. Hornswoggle was a bit funny and there is some good comedy potential, but it feels like it could have been so much more.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ALL about the big angle at the end, with the wrestling being a complete afterthought. That made for a weird show, as Unforgiven took a backseat as well, leaving the pay per view without much of a final push and the big story with a pretty lame resolution. Again, it isn’t WWE’s fault this time, but it is still pretty disappointing.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.