Smackdown – September 10, 2015: The Red Show

Smackdown
Date: September 10, 2015
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Booker T., Jerry Lawler

We finally got to the point and had Sting destroy the statue on Raw to end the teasing for the last few weeks. Other than that we also have John Cena vs. Seth Rollins II coming up, which should be a better match and might even get us the US Open Challenges back on Raw. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Wyatt Family to get things going. Harper says Bray’s words will show you the way. Bray talks about how smart Roman Reigns really is but he doesn’t care about any single fan or about what any of the fans think about him. If Reigns is ever to fulfill his destiny and become WWE World Heavyweight Champion, the people must get on their hands and knees to bow down to Reigns. Anyone but you Roman.

Dean Ambrose on the other hand is cursed with loyalty to someone he believes to be his brother. Ambrose is missing a few pieces upstairs and deserves a warning. The two groups have become a modern day Hatfields and McCoys and will fight each other forever. It doesn’t matter who is joining Reigns and Ambrose at Night of Champions and everyone will fall to the Wyatts. Run.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

Rematch from Monday when Big Show interfered. Miz takes a few moments to take the glasses off so Cesaro, with his ribs taped again, hiptosses him down. The big dropkick knocks Miz off the top and out to the floor, leading to a chase scene. Back in and Miz starts kicking at the ribs before dropping Cesaro across the top rope. Off to a waistlock with Miz’s legs but Cesaro turns around and muscles Miz up into a suplex. As usual, that’s scary strength. Some more shots to the ribs have Cesaro in trouble but he grabs the leg and rolls over into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Basic match here but that’s all it needed to be. The rib work was fine and I’m glad they didn’t have Cesaro win with a power move while barely selling the ribs. I can live with lifting Miz up into the suplex as it’s a single spot instead of doing the same thing over and over again. Also, how nice is it to see Cesaro get a clean fall for a change?

Jimmy Uso is very excited to be Reigns and Ambrose’s partner tonight.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Again. Both teams get in a brawl before the match and the other four are ejected. Paige grabs a quick rollup and backslide for two each and a sunset flip gets another near fall. With the quick wins not working, Paige knees Sasha in the face to send her outside. Sasha gets in a shot to the ribs to leave Paige laying as we take a break. Back with Sasha choking on the ropes and getting two off the double knees in the corner.

We hit a quickly broken chinlock before a shot to the ribs sets up chinlock’s sequel. Paige fights up with a running knee in the corner and some kicks to the face but Sasha pokes her in the eye. Paige bails into the corner before spearing Sasha down, triggering a brawl for the double DQ at around 9:00.

Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one and it came off like a bit way to fill in time instead of having a good match. You would think Charlotte would have played a bigger role here as she has a title shot in four days, though you can almost guarantee that she doesn’t, likely due to a Paige heel turn.

Both groups come out to brawl until referees break it up.

We see most of the end of Monday’s six man tag and Sting destroying his statue. This eats up ten minutes.

Rollins calls Monday the low point of his career because Sting destroyed the proof of his talent. He’s requested a lumberjack match with Ryback tonight so all of the lumberjacks can see that he’s still the best in the world. Sheamus comes up and says Rollins might have three matches at Night of Champions. Or maybe two matches tonight.

New Day vs. Jimmy Uso/Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns

No trombone this week. Woods goes behind Reigns to start but eventually gets his jaw jacked by an uppercut. Off to Ambrose who stalks Woods around the ring until Big E. comes in and takes Dean’s head off with a clothesline. That goes nowhere until Jimmy comes in to clean house as Ambrose takes Woods out with a suicide dive. Uso dives on Woods and Kingston but Big E. pulls Jimmy over the top and out to the floor as we take a break. There’s really no reason for this match to continue, other than this match needs to fill in time on this meaningless show.

Back with Jimmy in trouble and Woods busting out the trombone. Kofi slams Jimmy head first onto the mat but Woods charges into a superkick. Roman gets the hot tag and cleans house with a nice tilt-a-whirl slam to Xavier, followed by a string of clotheslines in the corner. The apron kick knocks Woods even sillier and the Samoan drop puts Big E. down. Dirty Deeds does the same to Woods and there’s a Superman Punch for good measure. Jimmy goes up top for the splash but the lights go out. When they come back, Jimmy is out cold on the stage. Wyatt’s voice says “they all fall down” and the match is a no contest at 13:08.

Rating: C-. So in other words, this was Jimmy Uso substituting for Randy Orton after a long match that didn’t change anything. Not a good match for the most part but it got a lot better once Reigns came in and cleaned house. It’s a good story but I’m scared of who they might bring in as a partner, especially if it winds up being Erick Rowan or Kane.

Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension

Stardust is with the Ascension and we’re just supposed to forget that they got squashed on Monday. Or maybe we’re supposed to forget everything they do here because only Raw counts. I lose track sometimes. Cara hits his springboard cross body to Viktor before it’s off to Kalisto for some kicks to the face. Everything breaks down for a few moments until Viktor takes Kalisto down with the STO. The Fall of Man puts Kalisto away at 1:40.

The Dragons get beaten down until Neville makes the save.

Nikki Bella accuses Charlotte of being jealous of her. Charlotte comes in and says Nikki’s record attempt ends Monday. Nikki can call her whatever she likes tonight because on Monday, she’ll be calling Charlotte champion.

Seth Rollins vs. Ryback

Lumberjack match and non-title in a rematch of Ryback pinning Rollins on Monday. A shoulder puts Rollins down to start but the champ flips out of a suplex. That’s fine with Ryback as he throws Seth to the floor, only to have Rollins run back inside and send Ryback into the post. All of the lumberjacks are about to fight and we take a break. Back with Rollins getting two off a Sling Blade but charging into a fall away slam. Ryback starts cranking it up with clotheslines and a sitout powerslam for two.

Big Show starts beating people up at ringside and knocks Mark Henry out. All the other lumberjacks tell him to get out, leaving about half of them left at ringside. A spinebuster puts Rollins down again and Ryback backdrops him onto the remaining people. The heel lumberjacks come in and beat Ryback down until the good lumberjacks make the save. Neville dropkicks Stardust to the floor and moonsaults onto everyone……this match is continuing. Apparently lumberjack matches are No DQ, meaning Kevin Owens is allowed to trip Ryback, allowing Rollins to hit the Pedigree for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: D+. I’m so glad they threw in the fact that this was No DQ with a minute and a half to go so they could have all of the insanity. It felt like the gimmick was there because it helped them get to the finish, which was their beloved 50/50 booking. I’m so glad that Ryback got to beat Rollins on Monday, only to have Rollins come out on top here to make sure it’s all even. You wouldn’t want Ryback to get away with a meaningless win. People might start caring about him and that would just be a disaster.

Overall Rating: D-. What a waste of my time. You had four matches and three of them were rematches from Raw. The one original match was a way to hammer in the exact same point that we covered on Raw with Orton. In case that’s not enough Raw for you, how about showing the last ten minutes of the show to fill in even more time? This was a huge waste of two hours and basically a commercial for Raw, which is going to be a commercial for Night of Champions. In other words, this was the least important episode of Smackdown in a long time and that covers a lot of ground.

Results

Cesaro b. The Miz – Sharpshooter

Paige vs. Sasha Banks went to a double DQ when both women brawled

Jimmy Uso/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day went to a no contest when the Wyatt Family interfered

Ascension b. Lucha Dragons – Fall of Man to Kalisto

Seth Rollins b. Ryback – Pedigree

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – September 3, 2015: I Approve Of These Developments

Smackdown
Date: September 3, 2015
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso

This seems like it’s going to be another midcard heavy episode as the main event players, save for the champion, who is arguably the lowest of the three people involved in the story, who is known to slum it here on Smackdown. The only major event announced is Lana and Dolph Ziggler appearing on MizTV. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s New Day to continue their SAVE THE TABLES campaign. Woods: “A table is a terrible thing to waste.” Kofi calls tables the backbone of human achievement and thinks we wouldn’t be here without hard working tables. The pilgrims and Indians had the first Thanksgiving at a table. The Declaration of Independence was written on a table. Walter Cronkite announced the moon landing while sitting at a table. Above all that though: New Day signed their WWE contracts at a table. Kofi: “I remember that!”

The Dudleyz don’t respect tables but we can all change that. A Save-The-Tables clap starts up but here are the Dudleyz to interrupt. We see a clip of Woods going through a table and Bubba says history is going to repeat itself. This brings out the Prime Time Players who say the Dudleyz have to earn their keep. You mean like by beating the champs a few days ago? Bubba says they’re here to put people through tables and win championships. Titus has two tickets to send them back to Dudleyville and it’s time for a match.

Dudley Boyz vs. Prime Time Players

New Day is on commentary and Woods wants to know why Titus wants to send the Dudleyz back to where they live. That’s not a great gift. D-Von slams Young down and hits that twisting elbow to the jaw of his. A lot of trash is talked and it’s time for a break. Back with Big E. doing his reporter voice as it’s off to Bubba vs. Young. Woods only sees half of Bubba due to all the camouflage and calls the Dudleyz table poachers. Soon New Day will have heavy heads because they’ll be wearing the crown that makes them the greatest of all time.

The reverse 3D gets two on Young but he enziguris Bubba for a breather. New Day starts a SAVE THE TABLES dance as Titus comes in off the hot tag. Titus cleans house as Woods describes him as a German Sheppard that ate too many stale potato chips. Bubba elbows O’Neil in the jaw and it’s 3D for the pin at 9:07.

Rating: C. New Day continues to be one of the most entertaining things WWE has come up with in years. The key thing to their comedy: it’s clearly not scripted. It’s obviously the three of them just riffing on what they’re seeing and having fun with it, which makes the whole thing that much funnier. The match itself was fine too as the story is simple yet effective. That’s often better than something in depth where things get too bogged down by ideas.

Kofi slaps D-Von in the back of the head as New Day leaves.

Post break it’s time for a New Day trombone dance party, but Renee Young tells them they’re facing Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose tonight. Woods immediately plays a sad note on the trombone.

Stardust vs. Neville

No match as the Ascension of all people jump Neville during his entrance. Stardust says Neville is flying too close to the sun and the Ascension are the new conniving cohorts. The Fall of Man leaves Neville laying. Welcome to the Cosmic Wasteland. I heartily approve of this development.

Cesaro is talking about his match with Sheamus tonight when Sheamus interrupts. Tonight, Cesaro will be good but not good enough, just like always as he disappoints the Cesaro section one more time. Cesaro’s big comeback: Sheamus does look stupid up close.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Cesaro has taped up ribs from going into the announcers’ table on Monday. Sheamus bails to the floor to start and tells the fans that he doesn’t look stupid. It’s quickly back inside with Cesaro clotheslining him down and MESSING WITH THE MOHAWK. A suplex drops Sheamus with the ribs having no sign of injury whatsoever. Sheamus sends him hard into the corner though and the ribs are suddenly in agony as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus cranking on a chinlock with a knee in Cesaro’s back.

They slug it out from their knees and Cesaro takes over with European uppercuts. A dropkick knocks Sheamus off the top and out to the floor as Lawler isn’t sure how the ribs are holding up. Cesaro’s big running European uppercut knocks Sheamus into the barricade and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body. So much for the selling. The Irish Curse sets up the Cloverleaf but Cesaro is out before it can go on full. The Crossface is countered by elbows to the ribs and it’s a Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 10:36.

Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade as they beat each other up for a long time but the ribs weren’t used for most of the match. The injury played into the ending though and that’s a plus, but Cesaro casually hitting a high cross body for two and then just putting a hand on the ribs isn’t enough for me. That being said, Sheamus is right: Cesaro comes up short again and it’s been old for a long time.

It’s time for MizTV. This past Monday, Raw turned into Days of Our Lives with everything happening between Ziggler, Lana and Summer Rae. Oh and Rusev is in there too somewhere. We get a long recap package, meaning we see almost the entire thing. Miz’s first guest tonight is Summer Rae, complete with her CALL TO ME CALL TO ME song. That’s going to be stuck in my head all day now.

Summer calls Monday unfortunate but admits that there’s more to the story. Monday night, Dolph kissed her. Miz: “HE KISSED YOU???” It quickly turned from passion to guilt because she already has the most amazing man in the world. This brings out Dolph and Lana with Ziggler making fun of Miz despite things being kind of serious.

Summer accuses Dolph of having something going on with her for months now and we see a clip of Summer kissing Dolph in June 2014, though it seemed to be more to tick off Fandango. Yeah remember Fandango? WWE doesn’t either. Summer says they’ve been together at hotels as recently as last week and Lana goes after her. Lana storms off and Summer shouts that she can’t handle the truth.

Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth

Dallas takes him into the corner and slams Truth down before driving knees into the head. Off to some chinlockery but Truth fights up and gets two off a side kick. That goes nowhere as Dallas drapes Truth’s feet over the top rope and twist him down with a suplex spinning neckbreaker for the pin at 2:37.

Bo gives him another one post match and takes a victory lap.

We look back at Monday’s Beat the Clock Challenge with Charlotte getting the Divas Title shot at Night of Champions.

Charlotte praises her teammates when the Bellas come up so Nikki can brag about the record. If there isn’t at least a title defense before that night, this is going to reach an even lower level of stupid. Thankfully Charlotte says she’s petitioned the Authority to have their match before the record is broken. If that is approved, the whole record comes crashing down. Tick tock Nikki.

Tamina vs. Charlotte

Tamina shoves Charlotte down to start but gets WOOed for her efforts. A test of strength goes nowhere so Tamina takes her head off with a clothesline for two. Charlotte comes back by kicking her in the face and a spear, followed by Natural Selection for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. The match was just there to give Charlotte more momentum, but the idea of the title match taking place before the record could be the most interesting thing to happen to this division in a long time. That is, assuming they take the title off Nikki. Of course it would also make the first month of the Divas Revolution a total waste of time because the title was never mentioned, but did I mention how awesome Stephanie’s introduction of it was? That makes up for the whole thing.

Team Bella comes out to pose.

Long recap of the Cena/Rollins/Sting issues from Monday.

Kevin Owens brags about beating Cesaro twice in a row to silence the Cesaro Section. That brings him to the next people he wants to be quiet: the people who are critical of his weight. He isn’t going to change his diet though. Instead, feed him more. That’s about as good of an idea as there is for him right now.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. New Day

Big E. and Kofi here and this is non-title. Ambrose and Kingston get things going with Kofi actually punching him into the New Day corner. Woods wants us to pay attention to the educated fists of one Big E. Reigns comes in for half of a double suplex on Big E. for two but gets sent down into the corner as well. It’s time for some trombone playing, followed by a quickly broken chinlock. E. splashes him in the corner but eats a big clothesline, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.

Dean cleans house and feeds Kofi in to Reigns for a clothesline. New Day is knocked outside and Dean dives onto all three as we take a break. Back with Kofi kicking Dean in the chest and slapping on another chinlock. Woods: “I HAVE A TROMBONE!” The Big E. splash gets two but Dean avoids a charge in the corner. He blocks Big E.’s belly to belly superplex and hits a nice missile dropkick. The nip up doesn’t work so well though in an unintentionally funny moment.

Reigns comes in to clean house and Jimmy is way too excited. Woods’ distraction lets Kofi grab a rollup for two, earning him a big powerbomb for the same. Dean sends E. into the barricade as Kofi springboards into the Superman Punch, drawing in Xavier for the DQ at 12:07.

Rating: C+. This was fine and the ending is a lot better than having the Dudleyz beat them clean on Monday. New Day gets to hold up the titles and swear that Kofi was going to kick out while everyone knows they’re lying. It’s a simple formula, but unfortunately WWE doesn’t know how to keep that formula from getting repetitive. I really like New Day moving up the ladder like this though as they’re definitely more than just another tag team. I mean, can you imagine the Prime Time Players in this role? It only works with the right kind of act, like New Day.

New Day gets their clocks cleaned (you never want a dirty clock) but Dean wants more. He wants another shot at Strowman and the Wyatt Family RIGHT NOW. Bray pops up on screen and says let’s do this at Night of Champions. Can you hear the footsteps of the apocalypse walking among them in the form of a black sheep? Run.

Overall Rating: C. Totally acceptable show here with the wrestling being fine, but above all else we actually got some storyline development for a change. Now granted it would be better if we had some major matches here instead of just the announcement of such matches, but I’ll take what I can get where I can get it. Not a bad show here and that’s more than you can say about Smackdown most of the time.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Prime Time Players – 3D to O’Neil

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick

Bo Dallas b. R-Truth – Draping suplex neckbreaker

Charlotte b. Tamina – Natural Selection

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. New Day when Xavier Woods interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Reviewing the Review – Summerslam 2015

We’re past what is still called the second biggest show of the year (I’ve been swayed to the idea that the Raw after Wrestlemania has taken that spot) and things were……there. I’ve had the better part of a week to digest the show now and I’m still not sure how I feel about it, so maybe I can figure it out by writing a long winded recap. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the preshow for reasons that aren’t clear. I’m sure this will in no way cause the show to feel rushed because there’s an extra match packed in.

Host Jon Stewart came out and said he was here to fight Brock Lesnar, with assistance from Mick Foley. The gag was that Foley thought it was to deal with his friend Rock instead of Brock so this isn’t happening. Stewart is all “ok” and that’s it. This was straight out of the Bundy vs. Gatorwolf days of Saturday Night’s Main Event to remind you that Stewart is in fact here.

Sheamus pinned Orton clean in a watchable opener. I say opener because I have issues calling anything these two do good or interesting. There are some people who simply do not have chemistry and Orton vs. Sheamus is one such pairing. I like both guys, but I don’t need to see them fighting, especially after Orton pinned Sheamus clean last month. It’s a classic case of “why are these two still fighting” and I’ve yet to hear either of them give a reason other than “we were fighting last month so we should fight again because clean endings mean nothing”. Not a good match but the lack of caring really hurt it.

So after that pretty lame opening, let’s crank things up a bit by taking eight guys and have them fly around the ring for ten minutes after New Day sang a version of Jay-Z’s New York (which might get WWE in trouble because copyright claims have reached the point where a parody song is somehow infringing on someone’s intellectual property because……well because America is obsessed with lawsuits that’s why.).

This is one of those matches where you can’t bother calling the action because it’s all about the frantic pace. Well that and Xavier Woods NOT SHUTTING UP, and that’s the entire point. Woods is supposed to be the most annoying guy in the world and fans getting fed up with him proves that he’s doing his job exactly right. Eventually New Day got the titles back and oh sweet goodness am I glad they did as the comedy is just excellent, much like their celebratory dance upon getting the titles back. This was a really fun match and probably should have opened the show.

Undertaker walked past Jon Stewart and Stephen Amell and had smoke following him. It’s not 1994 and Heaven help us if that’s what WWE thinks we should be doing again.

Rusev and Dolph Ziggler had a long TV match that ended in a double countout so we can have the mixed tag that they wanted to do instead. Ziggler and Lana have about as much chemistry as a history book, which makes the story odd as everyone else works pretty well together. If nothing else, Lana in the 80s jeans attire works very, very well so there’s something positive here. The match could have been on any given Raw though and that’s not good on Summerslam.

Next up was a very nice treat as Stephen Amell and Neville beat Stardust and King Barrett. This worked far better than I was expecting as you had Amell give one of the best performances of all time by a celebrity. It was clear that he wanted to be out there and was having a blast, while also showing off some awesome athleticism. You would think Amell would pin Stardust here but there are rumors that another match might take place, which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. However, why bother having Stardust take a fall when Barrett can instead?

The Triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title was exactly what I was expecting: nothing great, a way for Ryback to look good, and short. This seemed like the match that was the most hurt by the lack of a match on the preshow as it didn’t even get six minutes. That being said, I’m really not sure how much more time would have helped here, as there was no reason for these guys to be fighting other than “I want your title!”

I’m assuming we’ll get Miz vs. Ryback for the title soon, because Ryback beating Miz in a non-title singles match in less than three minutes warrants a title match, since, as the Divas Champion would say the next night on Raw: “wins and losses don’t matter.” And WWE still has the nerve to wonder why no one watches their shows.

Jon Stewart and Paul Heyman traded lines. This was what you would expect.

The Shield guys beat the Wyatt Family in about what you would expect, minus the heel turn. This was done exactly as it should have been: as a fight instead of a match. These guys are capable of having a very hard hitting and energetic tag match so just let them do that instead of trying to make something into whatever it’s not supposed to be.

That being said, I never, in my entire life, need to see Roman Reigns and Luke Harper in the same ring again. Not even counting the tag matches, they had 40 minutes worth of singles matches in a month and almost all of them were the same. Factor in all the tags they’ve been in and my goodness. This may not have been the highest quality match, but it was a lot of fun.

Now we get to one of the major matches of the night. I’m not going to bore you with the details of the match (It’s John Cena vs. Seth Rollins for twenty minutes. You know the wrestling itself is going to be good) because this is all about the ending. For reasons that are much easier to comprehend than they seem on the surface, Jon Stewart came in and attacked Cena with a chair (after the required ref bump of course), costing Cena the match and the US Title.

I didn’t get this one at first but it became very clear the next night on Raw, which I’ll get to when I look at that show gain. That being said, gah. I knew something wacky was coming but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. I like the idea of Rollins holding the title though, as he had to vanquish Cena at some point to legitimize his reign. This was basically fighting to a draw until Stewart came out though, and that’s the best possible thing for Rollins at this point. Heck of a match too, as you had to expect.

So then we got to the nightly “THE BELLAS ARE AWESOME AND EMPOWER WOMEN” segment of the night, which makes whatever feminist there is in me cringe more every time they speak. PCB beat the other two teams in another match that means absolutely nothing. Unfortunately this meant that we had to sit through the Bellas being in control for about eight minutes and the match just died.

The Bellas are very good at generating heat, but like the old villains of WCW, that all goes away as soon as the bell rings because they’re just so boring between the ropes. The match was begging for Sasha Banks, the crowd favorite by a mile, to come in and clean house, so of course she was on offense for about thirty seconds.

This was another moment that made me realize that the Divas Revolution isn’t going anywhere. It’s another way to feature the Bellas, who started their big story (kind of) a year ago at Summerslam. This is of course ignoring the stuff that led up to Nikki turning heel, meaning they’ve been the top story for roughly fifteen months now. It’s another Bellas story and that’s all it was really ever destined to be. As usual, WWE is great at creating false hope, but the fact that their fans are suckered into it every single time should be much more telling.

The next to last match was Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro, which was almost a no win situation. Owens got the pin, which is a good thing as far as him regaining some momentum, but the fact that he beat Cesaro a night after a brutal ladder match really doesn’t make Cesaro look good. That being said, Cesaro has gone from red hot to just Cesaro again, because WWE is fine with treating him like a breakout star for a month and then using him to get someone else over time after time. You really have to expect it at this point and that’s sad.

Now we get to the main event, which is getting more talk than anything else, albeit only for the last thirty seconds. Instead of just talking about the ending, I’d like to talk a little bit about the match itself, which is being forgotten due to how messy the finish was. This match was what they wanted Wrestlemania XXX to be with the two guys just beating the tar out of each other. Well that and Undertaker’s head not being scrambled but I thought that was obvious.

I liked the match more than I was expecting to with the spot of Undertaker sitting up and laughing at Brock before they slugged it out on the mat being a major highlight. However, you could see that Undertaker was getting weaker and weaker out there and I really don’t need to see him trying to pull off one more miracle in one more match. Wrestlemania XXX was bad, Wrestlemania XXXI was passable, and this one was a borderline miracle. Just let it go, but you know we can’t do that because of how this match ended.

As I’m sure you know by now, Undertaker tapped out in the Kimura but the referee didn’t see it. Instead the timekeeper rang the bell, allowing Undertaker to hit Brock low (so much for selling the hold) and put on the Hell’s Gate to make Brock pass out. So yeah, this was a way to set up a third match, likely at Wrestlemania, because we need a trilogy because those are cool. It didn’t work in the HHH feud and I really don’t see it working here either, though this could be better. I’m beyond the point of caring about Undertaker though, as he already lost the Streak and now he’s tapped out. What’s his career worth now anyway?

So that’s Summerslam and my big takeaway from is is that people are talking about how the matches ended, now what the endings mean or lead to. The big stories have been the timekeeper and Jon Stewart, not Seth Rollins beating John Cena or what is likely going to be a featured match or maybe even the main event (Heaven help us). I liked the show well enough, but there’s just something about this show that makes me wonder what it accomplished. This felt like a big build to other shows, which isn’t what the second biggest show of the year should be about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam 2015: A Long, Long, Very Long Summer

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and the main event is a match too big for Wrestlemania as Brock Lesnar faces the Undertaker, who is looking for revenge after Lesnar snapped his legendary streak a year and a half ago. Also it’s title for title with US Champion John Cena facing WWE World Champion Seth Rollins. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the pre-show.

Here’s special host Jon Stewart to open things up. He talks about all the people who will be here for the ten matches (meaning the Tag Team Title match will be on the main show) and lists off the people on the card, with Lesnar getting one of the strongest reactions. Stewart isn’t over the Streak being broken so he’d like to talk to Brock about beating the Undertaker. However, since Stewart is a mere mortal, he’d like to have a friend there when he does so. That friend is Mick Foley, who comes out to stand by his friend.

However, there seems to be some confusion. See, Foley thought Stewart wanted help interviewing Rock, not Brock. Stewart brings up Undertaker destroying Foley in the Cell and how Foley shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Foley: “THAT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO!” Foley has wrestled around the world but never visited Suplex City and isn’t stating tonight so Stewart is on his own. Jon says on with the show.

The opening video talks about every city having a story. This city’s story is about making legends, which leads to your standard well done videos hyping up the double main event.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Well they got to open the previous pay per view with a just ok match so maybe they can get all the way up to not bad here. The threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside in the first ten seconds, just like it did on Smackdown. Sheamus gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton comes out and sweeps Sheamus’ leg to move things along but Sheamus takes him down and drops a knee for two. Sheamus stomps him down and asks if the fans are not entertained. Fans: “NO!”

We hit the chinlock on Orton, drawing out HOW YO DOIN and OLE chants from the very vocal crowd. Randy fights to his feet and t-bones Sheamus out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Sheamus tries a quick Cloverleaf but walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets in a shot to the ribs and heads up top, only to have Randy pull him down with the DDT. Again the threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside, but this time he’s able to grab Orton for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus tries the slingshot shoulder but Orton catches him in midair in the RKO for a sweet counter. Since this match hasn’t dragged on long enough though, Sheamus rolls outside to keep things going. With the RKO not working well enough, Orton loads up the Punt, which almost never works but neither does this match so why not try it anyway? Sheamus catches him coming in with White Noise, followed by two Brogue Kicks for the pin at 12:11.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was the best these two have ever done but there’s one simple problem: I have no reason to care about any of this. These guys have been feuding for weeks but they’re still here for reasons I don’t get. Like, why is this feud continuing other than the script says it should? That’s bad writing and a problem that WWE has far too often. The main positive here: Sheamus won a big match completely clean. Now enjoy losing until like, Survivor Series.

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

The Prime Time Players are defending but New Day steals the show with their rendition of Jay Z’s New York, complete with some lyrics about how awful the rest of the teams are, unlike New day which rocks. One fall to a finish and you can tag yourself in. New Day tries the old New Age Outlaws play by tagging in both members (Kofi and Big E.) to pin each other but the Dragons make the save.

The Dragons come in with some fast double teaming followed by Kalisto kicking Big E. in the head over and over. It’s off to Darren vs. Kofi but Big E. splashes Young to put him in trouble. This match is incredibly fast paced so far. It’s Diego in to stay on Darren’s injured ribs but New Day makes their rapid tags to stomp Young in the corner. Woods rants about breakfast and the fans are behind New Day.

Kofi comes in for a chinlock to slow things down for the first time. It’s off to Big E. for the abdominal stretch, as Cole suggests that Woods tweet instead of talk. Cole: “He could use hashtag fatal four way.” Woods: “BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNED ON TRICEP MEAT! YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE!” As Woods keeps going about how entertaining this beating is, Darren finally escapes for the tag to Titus, who cleans all kinds of house.

Everything breaks down and Los Matadores are sent to the floor where Fernando dropkicks Sin Cara out of the air. Woods shoves Fernando off the top rope and faceplants Torito to a nice reaction from the fans. Darren drops Woods onto the apron but Big E. spears Young back to the floor. The Lucha Dragons’ double superplex to Diego is turned into a Tower of Doom by Titus, but Kofi sneaks in with a blind tag. The Clash of the Titus plants Fernando, but Big E. throws Titus outside so Kofi can pin Fernando for the titles at 11:20. Big E.’s dancing celebration makes this even better.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this as they didn’t even try to keep this as a regular match and made the whole thing insane. Woods stole the show here though and sounded like a star. They’ve figured out the perfect formula for these guys and the idea of New Day getting to brag about being right is awesome. Good stuff here and the match that should have opened the show.

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

Rusev gorilla presses him up but Ziggler counters into a DDT for a breather. The Stinger Splash and neckbreaker get two for Dolph but Rusev comes back with the spinwheel kick for the same. Rusev goes up top so Ziggler can run the ropes into an X Factor. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but has to settle for two off a sunset flip. There’s the sleeper to slow Rusev down but he’s quickly out, only to eat a Fameasser for a close two.

Rusev kicks him down again and puts on the Accolade but the girls get into it, freaking Rusev out enough that he lets go. Ziggler rolls outside but Rusev stops to stare at Lana, who gets decked by Summer. A quick superkick knocks Ziggler onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 12:00.

Rating: C. This was starting to cook before the lame draw ending. It’s a very interesting case here: Rusev and Ziggler have decent chemistry and Lana vs. Summer could be interesting, but Ziggler and Lana have some of the worst chemistry I’ve ever seen. It’s just awful stuff and they drag down every single scene they’re in together.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Amell is an actor who portrays the Green Arrow. Stardust has gone insane and thinks he’s a supervillain while Neville is billed as a superhero. King Barrett is thrown in there to make it a tag match and he has nothing better to do. As strange as this sounds, it’s actually been very well done and Amell looks like a great athlete.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Amell comes out in his Arrow gear but is wrestling in shorts and boots. Neville flips away from Barrett to start and it’s quickly off to Stardust. He wants Amell and gets his wish, as Stephen springboards in and lands right in front of Stardust. Stardust shoves him down so Amell nips up and kicks him in the ribs. A hiptoss puts Stardust down again and Amell shoots an invisible arrow.

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Rating: B+. That’s probably the best celebrity performance in the history of wrestling. Amell looked more polished that a lot of indy guys I’ve seen and was clearly having a blast out there. When his selling is already better than a good chunk of your main roster, it might be a sign that you need to make a few changes. I was very impressed here and Amell was awesome. And before I get a million complaints, yes this is on a very sliding scale.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Ryback is defending and this was supposed to happen last month, only to have Ryback get injured. Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in when Ryback has Big Show in some trouble. Show suplexes both of them down and hits a middle rope swanton (yes you read that right) on Ryback, who Miz covers for two. Back up and Miz gets dropped, allowing Show to chokeslam Ryback onto him for two. It’s Ryback up first with a spinebuster and splash to Big Show.

The fans actually get into the FEED ME MORE chant and Ryback Shell Shocks Big Show, before having to kick out of a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz gets two on Show as well and then covers both guys for two more each, followed by a third cover on each for one. I liked that. Show KO’s Ryback but Miz breaks it up at two and gets his own near fall on Ryback. There’s a KO Punch for Miz as well but Ryback shoves Show outside and steals the pin at retain at 5:31. Cole: “Classic triple threat match!”

Rating: C-. Dang they’re flying through this show tonight. We’re through five matches in just over an hour and a half and this match was the fastest of all. They had an idea going here with the stolen pins but the speed hurt it a bit. I’m very glad Ryback retained though as he’s starting to make the title feel important and it would have been really stupid to put it back on Miz or Show for another lame reign.

Stewart tries to talk to Lesnar but gets Paul Heyman instead. Jon talks about being a wrestling fan and how people remember the person with the Streak, not the person who broke it. He goes on about Heyman and Lesnar giving the fans coal for Christmas instead of a puppy. Heyman: “Glory, glory, BROCK LESNAR! I guess we couldn’t get David Letterman to host the show.”

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Ambrose and Harper get things going but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Shield guys taking over and Dean running from announcers’ table to table for a dive onto Bray. The Wyatts pop back up though with Harper suicide diving onto Reigns, followed by a quick superkick over the announcers’ table. Ambrose’ suicide dive is basically no sold and Harper kicks him in the face to really take over.

Things settle down with the Wyatts taking over on Ambrose in the corner with some loud chops. Ambrose gets tied up in the ropes so Bray can suplex him to the floor ala Orton’s hanging DDT. Reigns is still down at ringside. Dean crawls to the empty corner and realizes what’s going on. JBL: “You’re all alone Gilligan.” The Wyatts take turns on Dean, who finally clotheslines Wyatt down. Fans: “ROMAN’S SLEEPING!”

Reigns FINALLY gets on the apron for the hot tag and cleans house, only to have the Superman Punch countered for a sitout powerbomb. Bray says he has an idea but Roman backdrops out of whatever they had planned. It’s back to Ambrose for a Doomsday Device for two on Harper. The Superman Punch and a DoubleBomb plant Harper again, followed by Dirty Deeds to Wyatt. Dean tags Roman back in for the spear and pin on Wyatt at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly energetic. I was buying into the tease of a heel turn but it wouldn’t have made sense given that Reigns was there when Dean finally got free for the hot tag. Also, it’s kind of nice to not go with the turn when it seems the most obvious for a change. You don’t have to force things in wrestling but WWE has fallen in love with the idea.

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

The Pedigree is countered and Cena totally misses the Springboard Stunner to get the crowd even more riled up. Seth’s standing shooting star gets two so he ties Cena in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Back up and a quick AA gets two for Cena before they slug it out. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult, followed by a reverse powerbomb to give John two.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser gets two more but Seth comes back with the buckle bomb for the same. A frog splash of all things crushes Cena and Rollins busts out an AA of his own for two more. Rollins takes his sweet time following up and gets caught in the STF. Cena pulls him back to the middle but has to fight out of the Pedigree, meaning it’s time for a Figure Four on Rollins.

Seth turns it over to reverse the pressure and both guys are down. With nothing else to do, Rollins superplexes him but rolls through into a bonus falcon’s arrow. Back up and the AA connects on Seth but the referee is knocked outside. Cena goes to check on him but gets hit with the knee to the nose. Cue Jon Stewart with a chair (Stewart and Rollins feuded on his show for months) but he hits Cena in the ribs, setting up a Pedigree onto the chair for the pin at 19:27.

Rating: B+. Uh……well alright then. I’m not sure what to think about this one but it’s nice to see Rollins getting a win in a big spot like this. I’m fine with him holding the title a bit longer as there’s really no reason to put it back on Cena just yet. The US Title could go a few different ways now and that makes things more interesting. Good match here, though I’m not sure what the point of the ending was.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

We recap the Divas Revolution. Here’s the short version: one team wins, the second team wins, then the third team wins. Nothing changes though because this isn’t about being champion yet.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is an elimination match with one fall eliminating each team. Brie and Becky start things off but it’s quickly off to Tamina to kick Becky in the face. BAD takes turns on Becky with Sasha only getting a slam before tagging back to Tamina. Everything breaks down and BAD hit flip dives (Sasha’s barely connected) onto PCB on the floor in a scary looking crash. The Bellas hit stereo suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls new. Paige flips onto the entire pile and all nine are down. Back in and Brie hits a quick Bella Buster for the pin on Tamina to get us down to two.

Nikki Rack Attacks Becky for two but Paige makes the save, only to take the Alabama Slam on the floor. Brie comes in for some YES Kicks and a weak Daniel Bryan chant before it’s off to Fox as the match is finally in a standard formula. We hit the double arm crank as the fans want Charlotte. Instead they get Nikki snap suplexing Paige for two. Back to Fox who eats a knee to the face, finally allowing the hot tag to Charlotte.

Nikki has to break up the Figure Eight on Fox but Alicia pops back up for a double big boot to put herself and Charlotte down again. Becky gets the hot tag to slug it out with Brie, who misses the BRIE MODE dropkick. Yeah it’s a dropkick this time. Lynch grabs a pumphandle slam for the pin on Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C-. So yeah, as you might have expected, Sasha gets no time after last night’s classic, the Bellas get to look dominant for most of the match, and then Becky gets a quick bit of lip service for the pin. Maybe now we can FINALLY get on with an actual story, but there’s a good chance we have more Bella promos to sit through first.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens said Cesaro couldn’t beat Cena but Cesaro called Owens out on quitting all his matches. Kevin starts fast and knocks Cesaro outside for a flip dive, only to spend so much time yelling at Cole, allowing Cesaro to connect with a corkscrew dive of his own. Owens is right back up though and sends Cesaro into the barricade for a Cannonball.

A backsplash onto Cesaro’s back gets two and we hit the chinlock, which is now just a regular chinlock because why should Owens be allowed to make a spot fun? For some reason Owens thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash so Cesaro powers up and fires off slaps and punches, followed by the reverse Angle Slam for two. A gutwrench superplex gets two for Cesaro but he can’t hit the Neutralizer. Because Owens is fat you see. Like, fatter than Big Show fat. Even though Big Show weighs like 150lbs more, Owens is fat so it means more.

Owens misses his springboard moonsault but gets two off a superkick. The running uppercut sets up the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter but Owens makes the rope. Cesaro puts him up top, blocks the fisherman’s superplex, and hits a great looking dropkick to stun Owens. He tries…..something, but gets crotched and superplexed, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 14:21.

Rating: B-. This was the old “let two guys hit each other a lot” style and it’s very nice to see Owens win another major match. Granted that pretty much ends Cesaro’s match as he came in fresh against a banged up Owens and still lost, but one of them had to lose here and I like Owens winning better.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock broke the Streak last year at Wrestlemania but his agent Paul Heyman wouldn’t shut up about it, which angered Undertaker and made him attack Lesnar. That set up the rematch, where for reasons I’ll never understand, WWE is trying to make Undertaker a heel.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar goes after Undertaker during the entrance (has anyone ever done that?) but Undertaker fights him off and knocks Lesnar to the floor for the opening bell. Back in and they slug it out with Undertaker getting the better of it. Old School is caught in an F5 but Undertaker slips off the back, only to be driven into the corner. There’s the first suplex but Undertaker is able to send him into the buckle to block a second. Brock might be busted open.

Snake Eyes into the big boot send Brock outside and Undertaker drops the apron legdrop. They head back inside with Undertaker winning another slugout. See, I can live with that as Undertaker has been billed as the best pure striker for years. It’s not exactly HHH just throwing punches and being fine against Brock. The chokeslam is countered into another German and Undertaker is in trouble again.

They head outside where another chokeslam is countered into the F5 through the announcers’ table to knock Undertaker silly again. Undertaker gets back in at nine and Brock just smiles at him. Brock: “I’ll kill you.” Undertaker: “You’re going to have to.” Brock goes for him but walks into a chokeslam. Tombstone gets two but Brock is up first and laughing again. Undertaker sits up and they start punching each other in the face.

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker suckers Brock into the Hell’s Gate but gets countered into another Kimura with a bodyscissors. The bell rings but the referee says he didn’t call for it. Heyman says Undertaker tapped and in the distraction, Undertaker hits a low blow and puts on the Hell’s Gate but Lesnar flips him off….and passes out to end this at 17:13.

Rating: B+. And now we get a third because trilogies are JUST SO FREAKING COOL RIGHT??? This was a good old fashioned fight but I’m really not wild on seeing Brock lose. We don’t need to see them fight again, but that’s exactly what we’re going to get because that’s supposed to be epic. Ignore the fact that Undertaker never beating Lesnar and the Streak will be gone, but why not take away the two interesting things for the sake of a TRILOGY right? Really fun brawl though and the match they were shooting for last year in New Orleans.

Replays show that Undertaker did in fact tap out in the Kimura when the bell rang, which was due to Lesnar’s shoulders being down for a count, but the referee only got to one. Heyman declares Brock the winner by submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show, but this is the problem with having a four hour show the night after a two and a half hour show and the night before a three hour show. I was worn out from hearing Cole and JBL talk about stats and where Summerslam has been held over the years and how big this year’s show was about an hour into this and it just never stopped. That’s draining more than anything else and it’s not a good thing.

Now that being said, the show itself was indeed pretty good. This felt like an old school Summerslam until the last match, with a lot of mini feuds being blown off instead of doing anything major. There was more than enough good wrestling to go around and they’re ready to go into the fall as we get ready for Survivor Series and then Wrestlemania season.

Rollins retaining the title is a good idea as beating Cena is a big stepping stone forward for him. The Stewart stuff I can live with as it gives WWE some publicity, and they can set up some stuff off of the ending as well. The other stories mean it’s time for some new stories though and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. It’s a good show, albeit not very memorable. As I said though, this just didn’t need to be four hours and it really hurt things.

And remember: the first Wrestling Bundle ends at midnight tonight so go check it out!

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/sunday-is-the-final-day-for-wrestling-bundle-1/

Results

Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Brogue Kick

New Day b. Prime Time Players, Los Matadores and Lucha Dragons – Kingston pinned Fernando after a Clash of the Titus

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Stephen Amell/Neville b. Stardust/King Barrett – Red Arrow to Barrett

Ryback b. Big Show and Miz – Ryback pinned Miz after a KO Punch from Big Show

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt – Spear to Wyatt

Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Pedigree onto a chair

Team PCB b. Team Bella and Team PCB – Pumphandle slam to Brie Bella

Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb

Undertaker b. Brock Lesnar – Hell’s Gate

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – August 20, 2015: Go Home, Go Home, Go Home

Smackdown
Date: August 20, 2015
Location: Resch Center Hall, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso

It’s the final show before Summerslam, meaning it’s time to find out how many times they can talk about Brock vs. Undertaker in about an hour and a half. It’s going to be a mixture of matches getting the hype this week as the main event is an eight man tag with three feuds being combined into one match. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Ryback vs. Big Show

Non-title and yes they’re actually starting with a match for a change. Ryback punches away to start but Show drops him with a clothesline. They seem to be going with the “hit each other really hard” formula tonight. Phillips starts listing off the odds for Sunday’s title match, because the fans aren’t smart enough to divide by three. A side slam puts Ryback down and Show hits the chinlock. Miz told Lawler the following sage wisdom: “Size means nothing. The whale is an endangered species but the ant is doing just fine.” That’s one of those bizarre statements that works, which makes it even more disturbing.

Ryback fights up and just runs Big Show over, much to the announcers’ delight. Something like a spinebuster puts Show down again (to be fair, he’s not the easiest guy to spinebust) but the Meat Hook is countered by a spear for a close two. Show actually dropkicks him to the floor but Ryback comes back with the Meat Hook to put them through that part of the barricade they always go through when they go through part of the barricade (Jimmy: “OH SNAP! OH SNAP!”). It’s a double countout at 4:14.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot into this and it’s fun to see someone like Ryback muscle Big Show around. I know it’s been done a million times, but it’s still an impressive display of strength. Also, well done on having them go to a draw instead of having one of them lose. I’ve never been a fan of having someone going into a title match losing, but that’s what they did with Miz on Raw. Hopefully that doesn’t mean he gets the title back though as Ryback is starting to put something together as champion.

It takes a bit to get everything cleaned up.

New Day vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

This is billed as a six being match because WWE is stupid that way. I could watch New Day’s entrance for hours, especially the look on Kofi’s face. Woods and Fernando get things going and Lawler is already making his lame old man short person jokes. A quick splash sends Woods into the corner for a tag to Kofi but Los Matadores double team him down with Diego’s neckbreaker getting two.

Lawler says he went to see the Lucha Dragons’ new movie: Dragon Ball Z. I would pay to see Lawler watch a Dragon Ball Z movie. The threat of Torito sends New Day to the floor and we take a break. Back with Woods charging into Diego’s elbow but making the tag off to Big E. Diego gets dropped face first on the top turnbuckle for two and it’s rotating stomp time.

Woods hits his running basement dropkick in the corner before it’s off to Kofi, who is sent face first into the post, allowing for the tag to Torito. This is the big showdown with Woods (Lawler: “It’s deja moo!”) and a rolling cradle gets two for the bull. Everything breaks down and Big E. runs the full sized masked guys over, leaving us with E. vs. Torito. A big backbreaker sets up the Warrior splash and Woods gets the pin at 9:09.

Rating: D+. This is WWE in a nutshell: lame puns, a six being match, and a full match built around a thirty second spot on Monday that no one really cared about because it might make someone backstage laugh. At least New Day won and we got the celebration after a watchable match, but the story just killed this for me.

Someone gives Woods flowers and the celebration is on in full.

Here are Ziggler and Lana for a chat. Ziggler talks about how good it feels to be back here…..with Lana. He’s been tired of spending six weeks on the shelf, eating his dinners through a straw. Ziggler wanted to be here to help Lana against Summer and Rusev, before he needed to find his Lana (his words) and see if she was ok. The first thing she said to him was they needed to crush those two. Ziggler: “THAT IS HOT!”

Lana thinks they make a great team because Ziggler always stands up for what he believes in and she shoved Summer into a fish. Dolph says Lana just wanted to prove how tough she was, which makes Lana giggle. Rusev can have his pathetic wannabe but only Dolph gets the real thing.

Cue the Rusev flag, quickly followed by Rusev and Summer. Rusev promises to crush Ziggler’s throat again and put him in the Accolade. Well that’s certainly efficient. He’ll let go before Ziggler passes out though so Dolph can see Summer crush Lana as well. That will be the end of his comeback, but Dolph says the comeback doesn’t even start until Summerslam when he kicks Rusev’s teeth down his throat and steals the real girlfriend. Didn’t he do that already?

This is one of those feuds where the rationale seems to have been “well, there’s nothing else for them to do”, which rarely makes for a good story. Ziggler’s thinking makes sense (“What am I supposed to do? Turn down the hot blonde trying to kiss me?”) but Lana feels so forced into this story.

It really doesn’t help that she had to just sit around and wait for Ziggler to come back from his movie as she’s lost all of her heat in this story. Yeah remember like three months ago when you heard all those WE WANT LANA chants? How long have those been gone? About as long as she’s been with Ziggler I believe? At least it’s not a mixed tag though.

Here’s a good chunk of Cena and Rollins’ exchange from Raw.

Neville vs. Bo Dallas

Dallas takes him into the corner for an elbow to the jaw and driving some knees into the back of the head. “BOLIEVE!” We hit the cravate on Neville but he pops up, kicks Bo in the head and ends this with the Red Arrow at 1:54. Neville is getting into that 1995 Randy Savage mode of only hitting one move, which isn’t a good sign for him going forward.

Stardust and Barrett pop up on screen and promise to win. Barrett: “On Sunday, red and green turn black and blue!” Stardust: “Yeah. He’s going to punch you!” Neville will be grounded by a royal Bullhammer so hail the Cosmic King and Stardust.

Team Bella comes out for a triple threat but it’s time for a chat first. Alicia introduces Nikki, who will hold the record in 26 days and represents fearlessness. Has that slogan ever been explained? I mean, what makes Nikki fearless? Nikki says she may be fearless but she has doubts too. This past Monday was her toughest challenge to date and Sasha didn’t disappoint. Maybe one day, Sasha will be an amazing Divas Champion, but that day isn’t today. Well of course not because she hasn’t gotten the record yet.

Nikki says that her title reign makes her the most powerful woman in sports entertainment. Oh yeah Stephanie is getting involved in this after Sunday. They’re proud of being part of what social media has dubbed the Divas Revolution. Oh come on. I know WWE has decided that social media is the greatest thing in the world but Cole has been calling it that name for a month now.

Cue Team BAD with Naomi saying that the Bellas don’t speak for the entire division and no one believes them. She advises them to not prepare a victory speech for Summerslam, “because it’s not going to happen boo.” Sasha talks some trash so Brie gives one of the worst deliveries I’ve ever heard as she says Sasha calls herself the Boss, but there’s a much better word for her that starts with a B. That line was clearly off a script and Brie just butchered it. Like, Ed Leslie levels of bad butchering.

Sasha brings up making Nikki tap on Raw (Nikki: “Still the champ!”) but switches to Brie, who has ridden her injured husband’s coattails for months now. Brie tells her to shove it instead of bank on it and violence is teased but here’s Team PCB to intercede. Well Team CB at least as Paige is at Tough Enough. Becky promises a lass kicking and we’re ready to go.

Before we get to the match, let’s talk about why this was such a bad segment at its core. Ignoring how bad some of the delivery was, you had pretty much the entire Divas’ division out there (has Natalya been on TV in the last month?) and none of them talked about wanting to be champion.

Nikki said Sasha might be champion one day, but I can’t remember the last time anyone said they wanted a shot. It’s just about establishing which team is dominant or whatever, because that’s all they’re allowed to fight over right now. I can’t wait for next week when they can get back to normal with some better stories, because this whole AJ record thing is killing anything they had with the introduction of the new roster.

Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella vs. Sasha Banks

Everyone goes after each other to start and it’s Becky left standing and telling the others to come get her. We take a break thirty seconds into the match of course because having a break after the promo wouldn’t have made a bit of sense. Back with Brie doing a YES chant and kicking Sasha in the head for two. The BRIE MODE running knees don’t appear to make much contact but get two more on Lynch.

It’s Sasha’s turn now as she stacks the other two up in the corner for the double knees. That always looks cool. Brie and Sasha clothesline each other down and it’s Becky in to clean house with suplexes all around. Sasha gets up on the apron but Brie rams Becky into her and grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C+. Brie is an interesting case as she can range anywhere from dreadful to passable on any given night. This was a good little match after a promo that didn’t make a ton of sense when you started to think of it. Thankfully we get to the serious stuff next week though so this is one of the last messes we have to sit through.

Orton, Ambrose, Reigns and Cesaro all promise to win their matches on Sunday.

Long video of Undertaker and Lesnar from Monday.

Randy Orton/Cesaro/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Kevin Owens/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the main event roster. Orton and Sheamus get things going after about ten minutes of entrances. The threat of an RKO has Sheamus on the floor after about twenty seconds and we’re already in a commercial. Cut that out already! Back with Owens saying he wants Cesaro and getting what he wants when Orton drags Kevin over to face him. A quick suplex puts Kevin down and it’s off to Ambrose vs. Harper with the former getting a very nice canned reaction. Dean drives him into the corner for the same canned pop for Reigns.

Roman kicks Harper in the face but eats a forearm and it’s quickly off to Bray. Back to Cesaro for the European uppercuts in the corner and it’s off to Harper, who whips Cesaro into the ropes. Unfortunately Harper thinks he’s wrestling a human as Cesaro flips over the ropes and lands on the apron for a sunset flip. Everything almost breaks down but in what might be a first, the referee actually holds things together.

The distraction lets Harper kick Cesaro in the face and the villains take over. Bray gets in some shots and NOW Owens is willing to come in for the Cannonball. Back from a second break with Cesaro getting caught in the Regal Roll and a tag to Harper for a slingshot hilo of all things. Owens and Wyatt alternate backsplashes for two and it’s off to a chinlock to kill time. Cesaro does his best to fight out of the corner but walks into the Irish Curse to stop him cold again. A dropkick finally gives Cesaro a break and that invisible crowd pops up one more time.

The hot tag brings in Reigns who starts his variety of clotheslines. The apron kick mixes things up a bit and it’s time for some Samoan drops. See, why can’t he do things like that more often? A suplex or two won’t kill him. Some double teaming from Wyatt and Sheamus puts Reigns down but Sheamus takes too much time going after Ambrose, allowing the Superman Punch to knock him silly.

Dean gets the next hot tag to run over Harper, as has been his custom over the years. Wyatt gets knocked to the floor and Dean dives out onto him, followed by throwing Harper outside for a suicide dive. The standing elbow gets two on Harper with Owens diving on top for the save (Harper was crushed) and it’s time for the parade of finishers, capped off with Dirty Deeds for the pin on Harper at 19:22.

Rating: B. Take eight guys and let them get in there together for a solid formula tag match and watch the good results come in. There isn’t much else you can do to hype up this many matches on one show so this was about all they could put together. Harper losing was probably the best option as he’s just a minion whose job is to lose so Bray doesn’t have to. I’m always a sucker for all the finishers in a row to end a match too so good stuff.

The winners celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good, solid go home show for everything but the two main events. Smackdown has really improved in recent weeks since they started being the show where the midcard feuds get some spotlight. Raw alternates between Cena vs. Rollins and Lesnar vs. Undertaker, so it’s nice to see the other stuff get some attention too. Good show this week and Summerslam looks solid.

Results

Big Show vs. Ryback went to a double countout

New Day b. Los Matadores/El Torito – Woods pinned Torito after a splash from Big E.

Neville b. Bo Dallas – Red Arrow

Brie Bella b. Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks – Rollup to Lynch with a handful of trunks

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Randy Orton b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt/Kevin Owens/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw – August 10, 2015

So here’s the thing: I really don’t think this show warrants a full on Reviewing the Review. It’s a stand alone show that is built around the drama of “Will Cena be at Summerslam or not.” Well now we know the answer to that question, I really don’t see the need to go through the entire show when nothing major happened and it was built around building to Summerslam, most of which is already set in stone. There were a few interesting things on the show which I’ll cover here, but this won’t be a step by step version of the show, as it would really be a big waste of your time.

Obviously the major story was Orton vs. Cesaro vs. Owens in a triple threat for a shot at the title later in the night, but I don’t think the ending was ever in any serious doubt. Orton winning makes the most sense as he only has a minor story going on right now and you can easily put him in a title match, have him lose, and suffer no harm. Both matches were good, but the Sheamus interference was obvious from the second Orton pinned Cesaro.

There was a long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker. It went well enough, but there were better ways to set up the match than the 123rd version of “yeah the Streak was amazing and I didn’t think anyone would ever break it but Brock did and it was amazing” from a bunch of midcarders.

Miz, Ryback and Daniel Bryan did some stuff. It’s as riveting as it sounds but I like Ryback more and more every week.

Neville beat King Barrett in a minute and twenty seconds before setting up the tag match with Stepen Amell at Summerslam. I like the idea of Amell in there as he’s in great shape and looks like an athlete, but the Barrett squash just killed me. Bring up someone from NXT for that spot if it’s going to be so short, but find SOMEONE else to take a quick beating like that. It doesn’t accomplish anything and I really don’t want to see Barrett at Summerslam now.

So yeah, Raw was good this week and most of the stuff didn’t need any further discussion. Summerslam is looking great and the final go home show should offer a bit more to talk about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/




Smackdown – August 13, 2015: Two Big Guys Hitting Each Other

Smackdown
Date: August 13, 2015
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso, Tom Phillips

With Summerslam closing in, there’s little more than window dressing to go. John Cena is officially in the main event as confirmed on Tough Enough, meaning we’re going to be getting that title for title match against Seth Rollins. Smackdown is getting harder and harder to predict, but Summerslam could use some more midcard buildup. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Seth Rollins to open things up as we look at the end of his match with Randy Orton on Monday and the near cash-in from Sheamus. The champ thinks we need to settle down a bit because we all live very fast paced lives. We’re getting to see something like Babe Ruth hitting 1,000 home runs or Michael Jordan winning 20 MVPs or the Rolling Stones and the Beatles reaching levels of genius never before seen.

We’re getting to see…..Seth Rollins at the top of his game. We’ve been seeing Rollins escape Randy Orton, bring Neville back to earth, and break Cena’s nose into a million pieces. Someday the fans here will be telling their grandchildren that they saw Seth Rollins in his prime.

However, people like John Cena don’t get it, and we see a clip from Tough Enough of Cena, now with a nose resembling a human’s, confirming that he’ll be in the ring at Summerslam (complete with Daniel Bryan leading a YES chant). The champ would like to have Cena at Raw this week, so he can see what it’s like to fail. Orton failed, Lesnar failed, Neville failed…..and here’s Neville, now with his own shirt, to interrupt.

Rollins asks if Neville has a kitten up a tree to rescue. Neville thinks it’s going to take a superhero to shut Rollins up. Seth has left out a lot of details, such as the fact that he lost to Cena in the broken nose match, or Orton preventing the cash-in on Monday. Or maybe Rollins not being able to kick out of the Red Arrow. Rollins thinks Neville is less of a superhero and more like a Mouseketeer with a Napoleon Complex.

Neville accuses Rollins of going on and on so here’s Cesaro to assist in the shutting up process. The WWE Universe, including the Cesaro Section, is sick of it. So is Kevin Owens, who attacks Cesaro from behind as Rollins lays Neville out with the buckle bomb. I think you know what’s coming.

Charlotte vs. Naomi

Becky is with Charlotte but the rest of Team BAD is here as well. An early WOO get Charlotte a slap in the face but Charlotte gets in a shot of her own. We get a clarification on Sunday’s match: it’s basically a three way elimination match and one fall per team, not individual Divas. So much for that being fun. Naomi shoves Charlotte into the corner and we take a break.

Back with Charlotte fighting out of a chinlock, only to get crotched (just go with it) down and put right back in the chinlock. A nice dropkick and split legged legdrop get two on Charlotte and there’s chinlock number three. Charlotte’s rollup doesn’t work very well so Naomi kicks her in the face. She takes her rollups seriously. Some chops from Charlotte set up a spear for two before she throws Naomi onto Sasha and Tamina. Back inside and the Figure Eight makes Naomi tap at 8:30.

Rating: C-. This was one of the weaker efforts in the new Divas era but it wasn’t terrible. Like I’ve said roughly every week since the thing started, there’s no reason for these random matches to be taking place if there’s nothing to fight over. At this point they’re all just standing around as Nikki gets closer to the record, which really doesn’t do anything for anyone.

Video on Stephen Amell on Raw, setting up Amell/Neville vs. King Barrett/Stardust at Summerslam. Amell looks to be one of the best celebrities they’ve had, but I’m skeptical about the match. If nothing else, I have no reason to want to see Barrett after his loss this past week. If only there was, I don’t know, ANYONE ELSE who could have taken that loss.

Here’s Ryback with something to say. After some clips of him destroying various people on MizTV and posing with Daniel Bryan Monday, Ryback says the Big Guy is back. Well that clears up a few questions, such as who is the guy, who happens to be big, in the ring. The night he won the Intercontinental Title was the greatest night of his career because he finally achieved one of his goals.

Then he had a horrible staph infection (complete with a picture), but he shell shocked that too and came out here to Portland. While he was at home, he heard a lot of calls for him to forfeit the title, but all the positive messages and get well wishes made him want to come back even more. It’s feeding time at Summerslam and Big Show and Miz could make quite a good meal. No one interrupts here and as usual, Ryback does well with his mic time. From reports I’ve found, Bo Dallas came out and asked to be added to the title match but got laid out. I guess that was cut for whatever reason.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Harper says he was born evil and wants to know our excuses. Bray talks about Harper having an evil stare and tonight it’s set on Roman Reigns. Wyatt is going to bring his brother for the family war at Summerslam, but here’s Ambrose to cut him off. Why don’t more people do that? Dean doesn’t have anything to say because he just wants to watch Reigns punch faces.

Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper

Roman starts slugging away with right hands (Dean must be happy) and a clothesline knocks Luke to the floor for a break. Back with Harper getting in some big shots of his own until Reigns just muscles him over like a Samoan Superman. Harper comes back with something like a Michinoku Driver for two before just standing on Reigns’ head. A catapult into the middle rope gets two more for Luke as we’re firmly in the power brawl stage.

There’s a chinlock but Dean offers advice: “MOVE BABY!” The Gator Roll takes us to another chinlock before Reigns fights up and sends a charging Harper into the post. Reigns wins a slugout but eats a dropkick, which surprised Lawler, even though Luke has done it multiple times. Then again I don’t remember him doing it on Smackdown that often so maybe Jerry doesn’t see it.

Roman drops Harper back first onto the apron and hits the apron boot, drawing over Dean and Bray for a staredown. The fight breaks out on the floor but Harper takes Reigns’ head off to put both guys down. Another slugout goes to Roman until the referee pulls him off, allowing Harper to nail a superkick for a close two. The Superman Punch connects but Bray comes in for the DQ at 12:07.

Rating: B. That might be high but I had a really good time with this. It was two big power guys just beating the tar out of each other and making each shot sound harder than the previous one. The ending brings it down a bit but I’d rather have that than either guy taking another fall this close to Summerslam.

It’s a huge brawl post match with the Wyatts being knocked into the crowd. Uso getting all hyped up is perfect here.

Sheamus doesn’t want to talk about Monday night because people are tired of the same things over and over again. He was about to give them what they craved on Monday but Orton ruined everything. It was almost time for the age of the warriors but Orton knew he couldn’t hang in that world so he broke it up like he was in a Terminator movie. Well on Monday, Sheamus will be back to Brogue Kick Orton until he’s ground into dirt and erased from existence. Then it’ll be just him and Rollins, when the future is just a Brogue Kick away. I liked this as Sheamus had a theme and stuck with it to keep things grounded for a change.

Neville and Cesaro talk strategy. Or maybe they swap banana bread recipes. The volume is off so I can’t tell.

New Day vs. Prime Time Players

Non-title and Kofi is on the floor for a change. An inset promo from the Players say they’re the big deal in the division because they have these titles. Darren: “Like an afro! Big round hair!” Big E. powers Titus down to start but that’s fine with O’Neil who picks E. up and throws him to the mat. Titus gets tossed to the floor so Kofi can get in a cheap shot, setting up the revolving stomps. That’s such a simple yet effective spot. A running dropkick from Woods takes us to a break.

We come back with Titus in E.’s abdominal stretch but O’Neil quickly fights out and it’s off to Young to clean house. The belly to back on the apron (as stolen by Reigns earlier in the night) drops Woods but E. breaks up the Gut Check. New Day goes to leave but Los Matadores and the Lucha Dragons cut off the escape route. E. gets dropped and it’s Woods all alone with the champs, setting up a quick Gut Check for the pin at 8:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but my goodness I hope they haven’t put New Day on the bullet proof list. They barely ever win a big match anymore (no beating Los Matadores isn’t big) and just stay over because of how awesome they are at talking. I’m really hoping they get better treatment than that because they’ve worked hard enough to deserve it.

Dancing ensues post match.

We get the long video from Raw on Undertaker vs. Lesnar.

Cesaro/Neville vs. Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens

Cesaro starts with the champ and holds him in the air for a delayed vertical suplex. He holds him up so long that Neville can take Owens down, followed by a quick splash as we take a break. Back with Owens holding Neville in a chinlock, which unfortunately has lost a lot of the spark Owens had put into it. I’m sure it’s just because he’s overweight though and has nothing to do with his push being stopped cold.

It’s back to Rollins for a chinlock of his own but Neville grabs a jawbreaker to escape. Not that it matters as Owens comes back in for another chinlock as this is already getting dull. Another jawbreaker gets Neville out again but Rollins knocks Cesaro off the apron to break up a tag. The Cannonball gets two on Neville but he finally flips over for the tag in a nice move. Cesaro comes in and starts cleaning house with the running uppercuts to Rollins, totally rocking the champ.

Seth gets launched to the floor and both good guys hit suicide dives to take everyone out. Another running uppercut knocks Rollins onto the announcers’ table and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body back inside. Owens comes back in and is promptly thrown to the floor again, but the distraction sets up the Buckle Bomb from Seth. The Pedigree is countered into the Sharpshooter though and Seth is dragged back to the middle of the ring. Owens comes in for the save again and has to fight off a Swing, allowing Rollins to grab a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 11:46.

Rating: C+. Once they got past the never ending chinlocks (because people who look like Owens aren’t allowed to be exciting in the ring. They tried it a few times against Cena but they got too close to great matches with someone who doesn’t look like they were carved out of stone and WWE doesn’t know how to handle that), this turned into the fun tag match they were shooting for. At least Cesaro got pinned with cheating and by someone higher up than him, but he needs to actually win something soon.

Seth bails so Owens gets slammed down, setting up the Red Arrow to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There was enough good stuff on this show to make it work but it had too much filler. Two long videos really shouldn’t be necessary on a two hour show, especially when it only had four matches. Still though, fun stuff this week and a good building show for Summerslam, which is all Smackdown needs to be for now.

Results

Charlotte b. Naomi – Figure Eight

Roman Reigns b. Luke Harper via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered

Prime Time Players b. New Day – Gut Check to Woods

Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins b. Cesaro/Neville – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – August 10, 2015: Wet Hot American Summerslam Build

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 10, 2015
Location: Xfinity Arena, Everett, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We have less than two weeks before Summerslam and the question at the moment is whether or not John Cena is going to be able to defend his US Title in the main event against World Champion Seth Rollins due to his recently broken nose. The majority of the card is set already so the next few shows are just going to be about firming up the existing programs. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Rollins to open the show, complete with another video of the knee to the nose. Rollins is still wondering where Cena is, as he issued his challenge for Summerslam last week but there hasn’t been a reply yet. Where has Cena been? Jamming on the new Dr. Dre album and contemplating reigniting his rap “career?” Cena is straight out of action, not straight out of Compton.

Rollins doesn’t understand why he hasn’t heard from Cena as John is scheduled for Tough Enough tomorrow. If he can be on that show, it makes Seth think that Cena is cowering from the champ. Rollins gets word that Cena is here but it’s via satellite. We get a picture of Cena with only his mouth moving out of a late night talk show sketch.

Cena”, in Rollins’ voice, says Yabba Dabba Doo and says he’s going to Tough Enough to apply for a new job. It’s gone from Hustle, Loyalty and Respect to surgery, recovery and rehab. Cena is giving up because his nose was so destroyed and there’s no way he can beat Rollins and because he looks like he got a nose job from Picasso.

Seth talks about last week’s WWE World Title Open Challenge but here’s Cesaro to interrupt. Cesaro doesn’t like hearing Rollins going on and on and on and on, but he does like hearing about another Open Challenge. Rollins says not so fast because Cesaro hasn’t earned it, but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt as well.

Kevin says Cesaro believes in himself because of a bunch of CESARO SECTION signs, but why should either of these two have any say when neither of them can beat John Cena? Cena beat Rollins a few weeks back but Owens pinned Cena, so he should get the shot. Now it’s Rollins coming out to make fun of Owens’ gut and Cesaro’s glasses but Rollins says Tom Brady has a better chance of getting a free meal in Seattle than any of them do of getting a title shot tonight, so they can all get out of here.

This brings out HHH, who didn’t like Rollins saying he doesn’t care what the Authority thinks. The doctors have told him that Cena is 50/50 for Summerslam, so Rollins might need a backup opponent. Therefore, tonight there’s going to be a triple threat match with Cesaro vs. Orton vs. Owens, and the winner gets a title shot against Rollins TONIGHT. There were some funny lines in here, which makes me think the WWE writers had nothing to do with it. This also ran too long, which isn’t surprising as they could have cut this WAY down.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella

PCB (their new name after an adult site had already taken Submission Sorority. You can’t make that stuff up) is on commentary. In an inset interview, Team BAD debuts the term Belladashians and I want to reach for a gun. Naomi elbows Fox in the face to start but it’s off to Nikki for two off a back elbow. BAD takes over on the champ though with Naomi doing her corner wiggle, earning her a spinebuster from Nikki for two. Nikki’s spinning kick out of the corner drops Naomi again and we take a break.

Back with Sasha getting two on Nikki as PCB laughs at the idea of the Bellas starting the Divas Revolution. Nikki finally gets free and makes the hot tag to Brie, who is as over as she’s ever been since it’s her husband’s home territory. Brie cleans house as everything breaks down but Tamina gets in a few good shots. The superkick is loaded up but Brie gets a HORRIBLE looking rollup for the pin on Tamina at 9:00. Come on, it’s a ROLLUP. How can you not do that properly?

Rating: C. This was fine for the most part but the ending sequence was a letdown. I like the idea of putting Brie in there where she’s going to be popular, but I’m getting really tired of the Bellas not knowing if they’re faces or heels from one week to another. You can’t have their personalities on Total Divas and then expect people to cheer for them on Raw. Well at least you can’t if you have the slightest bit of intelligence about you.

Everyone brawls post match and the Bellas and Fox are knocked to the floor, leaving everyone else to have a staredown. So much for winning meaning anything.

Stephen Amell is here.

New Day vs. Los Matadores

Kofi’s grin as he skips to the ring is greatness. New Day takes over early on and we hit the rotating stomps on Diego in the corner as Woods plays cheerleader on the floor. Big E. slams Diego down for two but he misses a charge into the post. The tag brings in Fernando to speed things up with some weird shouting and a springboard flip dive to take Kofi down. Woods gets Kofi out of the way of a charge but Torito takes him over with a hurricanrana. The Midnight Hour is enough to put Fernando away at 4:01.

Rating: D+. It’s just a squash but it’s nice to get the Matadores out of the running for the title shot. I don’t think anyone would have bought them in there and it never would have worked. I’m really hoping we aren’t stuck with New Day vs. Prime Time Players again but adding another team or two would spruce things right up.

Post break New Day is dancing and singing in the back when Renee Young comes in and says it’s New Day vs. the Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons. New Day thinks we should just add Doom, Men on a Mission and Harlem Heat but then decide that a four way is fine. Renee even joins in on the clapping. I’m very glad WWE has basically said Los Matadores losing there meant nothing as they’re instantly in the title match anyway. Why do we watch these TV matches again?

HHH gives Rollins a pep talk. It’s a wonder that Rollins isn’t sitting on his daddy’s knee for this one.

We recap Reigns issuing a challenge on Smackdown for himself/Ambrose vs. Wyatt/Harper at Summerslam, which was accepted at the end of the show. Take note, as this is one of the only times all year that something actually happens on Summerslam.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens

No one gets an entrance as they’re all in the ring when we come back from a break. Owens gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor, leaving Orton to roll Cesaro up for a fast two. Cesaro can’t swing Owens so he gets two off a double stomp instead. Orton pops back up for a pair of t-bone suplexes but Owens is able to post Cesaro and snap Orton’s throat across the top rope.

A backsplash gets two on Randy as this is very fast paced so far. The fans are behind Kevin as he hammers Orton down in the corner. Cesaro comes back in and Orton is sent to the floor. That’s fine with Owens who knocks Cesaro outside with him, only to have Orton drop Cesaro back first onto the barricade. Owens drops Cesaro onto the barricade as well but Orton sends Kevin into it so he won’t feel left out.

All three get back in with Owens busting out a string of European uppercuts, only to walk into Orton’s backbreaker. Cesaro high cross bodies Orton for two more but he has to counter the RKO into a Crossface. Randy grabs a rope but it doesn’t count in a triple threat because it’s No DQ, so Orton crawls to the floor for the break. Owens knocks Cesaro to the floor and hits a flip dive to take both guys out as we take a break, with Cesaro holding his knee.

Back with Cesaro on his feet in the corner but getting sent into the buckle for the Cannonball to give Owens another near fall. Owens goes up top but has to fight off a superplex. That’s fine for one person, but Orton and Cesaro are easily able to double superplex him down in a cool looking visual. It’s Cesaro covering for two but Orton will have none of that.

They slug it out instead and Randy gets swung, setting up the Sharpshooter. Cesaro lets go because of Owens, but the Swing is kicked away, sending Cesaro into Orton. Randy is fine enough to powerslam Owens though, sending both guys to the apron for a double Orton DDT.

Cesaro breaks up the RKO and hits a nice dive to take Owens out, followed by a springboard twisting European uppercut for two. That was one heck of a sequence. Cesaro takes Owens up to but gets shoved down, only to put his knees up to block the Swanton. A superkick takes Cesaro’s head off but it’s an RKO to block the Pop Up Powerbomb. Cesaro eats an RKO as well, giving Orton the pin and the title shot at 18:15.

Rating: B+. Yeah Orton won, but if Cesaro won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Cesaro getting pinned. On the other hand, if Owens won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Owens getting pinned. Now on the third hand (find a friend who will lend you a hand), Orton can win and then lose to Rollins and people will only complain about it being Orton in the main event slot again, as it was pretty clear he would be when he came out for the opening segment. Really good match of course, as you would expect with those three in there.

Ambrose said he didn’t have a friend growing up, but it’s nice to have one now so he can get bailed out of jail in Laredo. Reigns thinks Wyatt wouldn’t do anything for Harper because they’re not family. Ambrose knows how Reigns likes his coffee, water and beer, which is proof that they’re brothers. Believe that.

We get quick thoughts from various legends and wrestlers about the history of Undertaker and how amazing the Streak really was. Heyman wants to hear about the myth of Brock Lesnar, which leads to a variety of people talking about how unique Brock’s skills really are and how you can only hope to survive instead of defeating him.

We see some clips of the Streak ending and people talk about what a shock it was. Heyman’s look of astonishment when the pin actually happened was perfect. Then fifteen months later Undertaker interrupted Brock squashing Rollins at Battleground and a huge brawl ensued the next night on Raw. The talking heads are split on their pick for Summerslam. This was every “they’re both so awesome” segment you’ve ever seen.

Undertaker and Lesnar will both be here next week, in Brock’s hometown of Minneapolis.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

Reigns and Wyatt are at ringside. Ambrose slugs away at Harper to start as I think we get a SEA-HAWKS chant early on. A big side slam plants Dean for two but he low bridges Harper to the floor for a running standing elbow from the apron as we take an early break. Back with Harper Gator Rollins Harper and putting on a chinlock. Wyatt has taken Byron’s chair so Byron is left standing. Fans: “SIT DOWN BYRON!”

Ambrose fights out of a chinlock and scores with a tornado DDT but Dirty Deeds is countered. The fight spills outside with Dean blasting Wyatt over the table and heading back inside for the rebound clothesline on Harper. Reigns intercepts Bray before he can interfere but eats a superkick from Harper. That earns Harper a suicide dive from Ambrose but Dean gets crotched back inside. The discus clothesline puts Dean away at 9:35.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I would have expected to given how many times we’ve seen them fight. The tag match at Summerslam should be fun, but it doesn’t quite feel like a huge match. It’s still not really clear why Wyatt hates Reigns, but at least there’s enough of a backstory there to warrant another match.

It’s time for MizTV, but first of all Miz has to rip on Amell, saying that once Stardust runs through him, call Miz up for some rebranding and acting lessons. Tonight’s guest is Daniel Bryan and it take a bit for the chants to wear down. Miz asks for quiet so the chants get even louder. Bryan, in a funny timid voice: “Miz wants you to shut up so you better be quiet!”

Bryan finally gets a chance to speak and says he isn’t just here to be on MizTV. Of course he wasn’t going to miss Raw in Washington and it’s time for that SEA-HAWKS chant again. Miz reminds the people that he’s a Cleveland Browns fan (that explains so much) before bringing up mentoring Bryan on the first season of NXT. Bryan mocks Miz’s Hollywood career and wardrobe, but thinks that his own accomplishments are due to hard work and all the fans around the world. Miz asks about Bryan’s medical status, which is still not great. That brings Bryan to his new book, which is a New York Times bestseller, and Tough Enough.

Miz goes on to Ryback and the Intercontinental Title, which should be awarded to Miz after all this waiting. Cue Big Show to call Miz a cross dressing Jedi manure spreader. The fans tell Big Show to retire but he says find someone to retire him. This brings out the returning Ryback so Miz bails, but Bryan throws him back inside to meet the monsters. Ryback cleans house and poses with Bryan to end things.

Video on Charlotte.

It’s a three team Divas elimination tag at Summerslam.

Mark Henry vs. Rusev

Lana is on commentary and confirms that Dolph will be back after Summerslam. Summer quickly gets on the apron for a distraction but Lana pulls her down. That’s fine with Rusev who superkicks Henry down, only to have both girls come in for the no contest at 1:07.

Summer puts Lana in the Accolade and a Rusev flag falls.

We recap Neville vs. Stardust over the last week.

Neville vs. King Barrett

Neville starts fast, kicks Barrett in the head and scores with the Red Arrow for the pin at 1:20. Total and complete squash because that’s what Barrett does.

Stardust comes in to lay Neville out but stops for a staredown with Amell. He knocks Amell’s hat off and Stephen jumps the railing, jumps to the apron and jumps over the top rope to tackle Stardust in a pretty impressive athletic display. Security quickly breaks it up.

After a break HHH yells at Amell, but Stephen wants a tag match at Summerslam. HHH laughs the idea off, but Amell shouts him down and offers to sign any waivers he has to sign. Ever the genius, HHH agrees to a tag match between Wade Barrett (yes Wade)/Stardust vs. Amell/Neville at Summerslam. HHH: “Don’t bring a stunt man.”

Sheamus doesn’t care if Rollins or Orton wins tonight because he might just cash in on either of them.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending and stalls on the floor early on. The champ comes in and the threat of an RKO sends him bailing to the floor as we go to the final commercial. Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before Orton makes a comeback with clotheslines and the powerslam for two. That’s enough for Seth as he goes outside to get the belt, only to eat another clothesline from Orton. He drops Rollins on the announcers’ table before they head back inside where Seth nails the low superkick.

The champ gets crotched on top and superplexed down for two. Orton can’t follow up but is able to counter the Pedigree, only to have his DDT countered. Rollins his one of his own and teases the RKO but settles for another failed Pedigree attempt. Orton backdrops him to the apron for the springboard knee but Seth dives into the RKO (in one of those spots where he was clearly just diving that way so he could dive into the move), drawing in Sheamus for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Yeah fine. I think we all knew this was the ending and there was nothing wrong with that as they weren’t going to change the title just two weeks before Summerslam. Good enough match though as these two have chemistry, but they need to get off this Sheamus vs. Orton stuff already because it’s really not interesting.

Post match Sheamus Brogue Kicks Rollins and goes to cash in but eats the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show this week but they moved things forward going into Summerslam and that’s all that mattered. I’m digging the idea of the title being defended on TV as even though it’s highly unlikely that we’d see a title change, the mere chance that it could happen makes the match feel better. I liked this show a lot better than the recent weeks and while it’s sill not excellent, at least it’s a step in the right direction and the kind of show they needed to have tonight.

Results

Team Bella b. Team BAD – Rollup to Tamina

New Day b. Los Matadores – Midnight Hour to Fernando

Randy Orton b. Cesaro and Kevin Owens – RKO to Cesaro

Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose – Discus lariat

Rusev vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Lana and Summer Rae interfered

Neville b. King Barrett – Red Arrow

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Sheamus interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: July 27, 2015

Uh…..I really don’t have much of an intro here. We’re coming up on Summerslam and this is one of the Raw’s on the way there. Let’s get to it.

The big opening talking segment was, of course, the Authority and Seth Rollins. The idea of this one was to make Raw a night of first, including Big Show vs. Dean Ambrose. In the words of Jon Stewart, let me stop you right there. Much like a lot of these first time EVER matches, just because it’s never happened before doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea. I mean, we could have Blake from NXT come up and fight Hornswoggle. IT’S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE so that makes it cool right? I don’t know of anyone who would go out of their way to see Big Show vs. Ambrose, nor do I see a lot of fans being happy with the outcome.

Other than that, we’re also getting, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER SO YOU KNOW IT’S AWESOME: Kevin Owens vs. Randy Orton, Paige vs. Sasha Banks (well for the first time on Raw at least) and Alicia Fox/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte. In other words we have “man Owens gets to lose again?”, “that could be good” and “well at least we have something to look at.” This is their big solution for the ratings being so far down?

Finally, Rollins ran his mouth for a long time until Cena came down and thought he should get a title shot against Rollins for the first time ever on Raw. HHH thought it was a great idea but made it a US Title shot instead, which pretty much sealed the winner, or at least who was walking out with the title, as soon as the words were out of his mouth. We’ll come back to the match later for a change, but the talking segment took too long to get to the point.

Big Show beat Dean Ambrose via countout, with the idea being that Ambrose kept fighting but couldn’t put Big Show down. I like the plan, but Big Show has lost to people like Miz recently. So Miz is tougher/smarter than Ambrose? I don’t know of anyone who would buy that but it’s what we’re supposed to believe now?

In theory they’re building up Big Show for someone, but they could have given anyone a rub with the same ending. Ambrose looks weaker than usual by comparison but we’re supposed to cheer him anyway because Dean is bulletproof, which WWE interprets as loss proof. Dean sidestepping a post match spear was supposed to make up for it or something but as is so typically the case, it doesn’t work like WWE thinks it does.

Neville beat Fandango and listened to Stardust rant about saving the WWE Universe from false hope. The more I see of this feud the more I like it, but I have a bad feeling they won’t get enough time at Summerslam. You know, the FOUR HOUR show.

Paige and Sasha traded some insults before Sasha made Paige tap clean. This was a solid, long match with some arm work for a story, but more important than anything else, the match felt important. I wanted to see where it was going instead of having two girls out there to waste everyone’s time. That’s a major step forward and a completely new way to look at the division.

Rusev gave Summer Rae a dog named Ziggler and a fish with no head. Lana came out, beat Summer up and shoved her face into the fish. I really don’t think this needs any further explanation.

The Lucha Dragons beat Los Matadores as the Prime Time Players were on commentary. This was little more than an excuse to have the New Day come out, though it seems to set up a multi-team title match at Summerslam. The idea is fine, but again it makes last week’s loss look like a waste of time.

Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper did a long in ring promo where they talked about Harper coming home. Since this was Wyatt though, it took him five minutes to get to the point, even though we knew the point in the first place. It was still effective though and you can feel the old Wyatt vibes coming back. Now, that being said, none of it matters if the Wyatts are treated like jobbers all over the place, especially Bray himself.

Becky Lynch/Charlotte beat Nikki Bella/Alicia Fox in a match taking place FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER when Lynch made Fox tap. As usual, there was nothing of note involving Nikki because she isn’t the longest reigning Divas Champion yet and therefore nothing can happen, at least not until there’s roughly a week before the record is broken.

Kevin Owens and Randy Orton had a pretty lame match until Sheamus came in for the DQ. Owens is pretty firmly in that transitional period between main eventer and midcard but you can see him trending down. Cesaro came in for a save but ate a powerbomb, likely setting up a tag match at some point in the near future. There’s nothing wrong with combining two feuds into one.

The big main event was a good fight between Cena and Rollins where Cena retained the US Title. They beat each other up and put on an entertaining match as you would expect, but of course the story here is John Cena’s nose, which pretty much erupted due to a knee to the face.

The big question now is whether Cena is going to be back for Summerslam. They never actually announced Cena vs. Rollins for the pay per view, but at least there’s an easy reason why Cena isn’t fighting. Everyone say the nose and it was hardly something you could hide. Keep Cena off TV until Summerslam if you can, but if you can’t……I’m really not sure what you do. Make Undertaker vs. Lesnar a triple threat with Rollins for the title I guess, because there aren’t a lot of other options, unless you throw Orton out there again. I mean, it’s not like you can give someone new a shot right?

This show was a copy of last week’s but with Cena and Rollins in Lesnar and Undertaker’s places. They’re both one idea shows with some midcard stuff thrown in, and that’s all these shows should have been. The main event and what should be the other main event assuming Cena can breathe by then are both set and you can build the rest of the card from here. It’s one of those shows where you knew what was going to happen from the opening bell but there’s nothing wrong with that. Good, effective show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – July 30, 2015: The Balancing Act

I knocked this out tonight instead of Thursday so we’ll see how this goes early instead of waiting for showtime.

Smackdown
Date: July 30, 2015
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jimmy Uso, Jerry Lawler, Tom Phillips

Smackdown has the potential to be interesting this week as we could get some more midcard build for Summerslam, which could be some of the more interesting stuff going on in WWE at the moment. The big story is likely to be Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens, which could be the match of the night at the pay per view. I don’t like that many could’s. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Seth Rollins to open things up. Seth: “SO WHAT?” Those are the words he’s heard so many times over the year. He heard them when he was the first person to cash in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania and the man who stood toe to toe with Brock Lesnar at Battleground and came out with the title. This past Monday he reached his breaking point and the victim of his rage was John Cena, who went to the emergency room with a broken nose.

We see a clip of the knee that broke Cena’s nose and Rollins calls himself an artist, but here’s Cesaro to interrupt. Cesaro really doesn’t want to hear Rollins go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how great he thinks he is like he does every single week. See, Rollins is leaving out the part where Cena made him tap out. Rollins calls it a strategic move that he made because he has bigger things to worry about than the US Title. Cesaro says he’ll see Rollins later tonight, unless they both want to have their match right now.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title. Cesaro goes after the leg with some dragon screw leg whips to start but the threat of a Sharpshooter sends the champ bailing to the floor. Cue Kevin Owens to watch as we take a break. Back with Rollins holding a headlock and Owens’ head holding a headset for commentary. Cesaro double stomps Seth for two and catches a diving Rollins in midair. That’s not enough of a power display for Cesaro though so he throws Rollins up for a suplex. As I say every week, that man is scary strong.

Rollins is able to send him into the buckle with the release Downward Spiral and now it’s Seth with the European uppercuts for a change of pace. A chinlock doesn’t get Rollins very far as Cesaro powers out (I’m as shocked as you are) with a belly to back suplex. Cesaro loads up the Swing but Owens comes in for the DQ at 8:35.

Rating: C. This was fun while it lasted but it didn’t have enough time to go anywhere, especially with a good chunk of this match taking place in the commercial. Cesaro vs. Owens could be one heck of a brawl, especially if they let them have fifteen minutes or so. I mean, it’s a four hour show so there’s no reason every match shouldn’t have a lot of time right? Assuming there’s no lame musical guest so……yeah Cesaro vs. Owens is going to be lucky to get eight minutes right?

Owens lays out Cesaro and Rollins gets in a few shots of his own.

Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons vs. New Day/Ascension

Weren’t the two masked teams fighting on Monday? Before the match, New Day says the Lucha Dragons and Los Matadores could be #1 contenders, so if New Day wins tonight, they should be the #1 contenders! After some WAY over the top introductions, it’s Woods on the floor as Diego leg sweeps Viktor to start. A slingshot elbow from Diego sets up a slingshot hilo from Sin Cara, who starts working on the arm.

It’s off to Konnor for some hard kicks to the ribs before New Day breaks up a dive and sends Cara out to the floor. Well that sucks. Back from a break with Woods calling Cara stupid as the villains take turns stomping away in the corner. Viktor’s chinlock doesn’t work very well as the Players say they’d love to face the Usos. Big E. holds Cara for a running knee to the face (well mask) from Kofi as Woods is still going on.

Darren passes the time by wearing glasses and taking notes. That’s not something you often see but it makes sense. Viktor runs Cara over for two more as hear about Big E. making Young sick for some reason that Young doesn’t want to get into. A Crossface keeps Cara in trouble but he finally avoids a charge, allowing for the Kalisto. Everything breaks down and Kalisto kicks Big E. down, leaving Torito to hit a kind of 619 to knock Woods silly. Big E. loads up the Midnight Hour but Viktor takes Kofi’s tag, only to get rolled up by Kalisto for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C+. Standard face in peril tag match here but I liked Woods on the floor and the Players on commentary. They’re setting up some decent stuff here with the division, but it says a lot that the NXT tag team division has equal depth with half the roster. I could see a big multi-team match at Summerslam, even though I’m really not a fan of them. Just give me a feud with a story.

Owens is told that the Authority has made Owens/Rollins vs. Cesaro/whomever he can find. Kevin isn’t pleased and is going to take it out on Cesaro’s partner.

Video on Becky Lynch, complete with some old school pictures of her in Japan with Natalya.

Luke Harper says Bray Wyatt saved him by showing him the truth so now Harper has everything he needs. Wyatt talks about Harper liking where he is now and deciding to stay. Anyone but you Roman.

Rusev comes out for his match but first up he and Summer have something to say…..about the fish thing from Raw. Lana ruined the hot Summer because she’s jealous and now Rusev would never fall for her again. After winning tonight, Rusev is going to take Summer and Dog Ziggler for a walk anywhere but Oklahoma. Maybe they’ll lay on a blanket, stare into each other’s eyes and….oh geez here we go again.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

SERIOUSLY??? Well to be fair we’re in Oklahoma and Swagger hasn’t lost to Rusev recently. Swagger starts with some AMERICAN armdrags to send Rusev outside as Tom makes the mistake of talking about their rivalry last year, because that’s so thrilling to hear about. Back in and Swagger wrestles him to the mat but Rusev just throws him into the corner and drives a knee into the face.

Rusev starts in on the back but since Swagger used to be something years ago, Rusev can’t just beat him in three minutes and shorten our agony. The slow stomping continues as the fans try to believe. So Oklahoma is the new center of delusion? Swagger comes back with some clotheslines and punches in the corner, only to have Rusev blast him in the face as we go to a break, because this feud just has to keep going. Back with Rusev holding a front facelock as the fans are already dying.

Swagger fights up and kicks Rusev’s ducked face but the Vader Bomb misses. Instead Jack plants him with a belly to belly and is promptly nailed with a spinwheel kick. The back and forth continues as Swagger goes after the leg to set up the Vader Bomb. Tom: “What is it going to take to put away Rusev?” A different opponent Tom. The superkick sets up the Accolade so Swagger can tap to Rusev at 14:40, because that’s the entirety of Swagger’s job description.

Rating: D. I know I wanted the old Rusev back but did we really need to see ANOTHER destruction of Jack Swagger? I know he isn’t ever going anywhere but good grief we get the point already. Find ANYONE else, even if it’s some rookie jobber, for Rusev to beat up every time you want to do Rusev vs. Swagger because it’s dead.

Post match Swagger pulls himself up and avoids a charge, followed by the Patriot Lock to Rusev for Oklahoma’s consolation prize.

Cesaro isn’t going to hunt for a partner because no one here owes him anything. He’s gotten here on his own (I’d try to forget the Heyman era too) and if he has to, he’ll fight on his own. I liked this but Cesaro can’t connect to me so maybe it’s a desire for nachos that I’m interpreting as caring about a wrestler.

We recap Neville vs. Stardust. It might not lead anywhere, but it’s certainly different.

Stardust vs. R-Truth

R-Truth has been using that theme song for over 12 years. When is it time that he gets started? He’s really bad about procrastinating. They run the ropes to start and we get a bit of an awkward pause as Truth has to hit a running fist to take over. Stardust gets in some shots, R-Truth gets in his kicks, Stardust sends him into the buckle and the Queen’s Crossbow (Cross Rhodes) is good for the pin at 2:01.

Stardust says Neville has failed this city (a line from Arrow) so here’s Neville to save Truth from further beating. Again, nothing great, but I’m kind of liking this.

Sheamus says he kicked Orton in the face on Monday for Orton showing him up at Battleground. He did it because he’s a real man, unlike Orton who just thinks he’s a real man. How many REAL MAN characters are there going these days? The idea of WWE without Orton is like Oklahoma without Tulsa: a dream come true. Hey, did you know that Vince hates Oklahoma?

Video on Undertaker vs. Lesnar. Brock is back on Monday.

Cesaro/??? vs. Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins

Cesaro is here alone until Dean Ambrose comes down as a surprise. It’s a big brawl before the bell with the good guys cleaning house twice in a row as we wait for the opening bell. We take a break and come back with the bell (THANK YOU!), meaning it’s Dean vs. Seth before Cesaro quickly comes in to keep the champ on the mat. Owens gets punched off the apron but the distraction lets Rollins gets in a shot to take over.

The bad guys take over with Owens firing off knees in the corner and it’s back to Rollins for a chinlock. Back to Owens for some right hands for two (seriously?) and a chinlock of his own. Rollins comes back in and misses the top rope knee to the head, allowing the hot tag to Dean. He backdrops Seth to the floor for a suicide dive. Dean’s superplex doesn’t work as well as Rollins counters into a buckle bomb for two. You wouldn’t expect a power move like that to work for someone like Rollins but he makes it look good.

The top rope knee to the head and low superkick get two more but Owens takes too much time going up and gets crotched for his efforts. You don’t try to superplex Kevin Owens though as he counters into the swinging superplex for another near fall as Cesaro dives in with a double stomp for the save. The backsplash misses too and it’s the real hot tag to Cesaro.

That kind of reverse Angle Slam sets up the Crossface on Owens but Rollins’ attempt at a save earns him a Swing. Cesaro clotheslines Owens outside, leaving Dean to stop Rollins from diving on the two of them. Instead Dean superplexes Rollins down, only to have Owens try the Pop Up Powerbomb. Dean is ready though and slips out, setting up a rollup from Cesaro for the pin on Kevin at 14:03.

Rating: B-. I had a better time with this than I was expecting as it felt like an old Coliseum Video exclusive where they took two random pairings and gave them time to have a fun match. It’s nice to see Cesaro getting a big win for a change, but I’m not sure where Owens goes if he loses at Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. The main event and Rusev vs. Swagger mess cancel each other out so we’ll say the show was in the middle. I can easily live with Smackdown as a wrestling heavy show focusing on the midcard instead of the lame show it’s been for so long, though I have almost no faith in WWE to keep this up. Maybe they’ll start fixing things when Smackdown moves to USA in January, but I don’t have a reason to get my hopes up. Fun enough show this week if you ignore the really dull Rusev vs. Swagger mess.

Results

Cesaro b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons b. New Day/Ascension – Rollup to Viktor

Rusev b. Jack Swagger – Accolade

Stardust b. R-Truth – Queen’s Crossbow

Cesaro/Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins – Rollup to Owens