Smackdown – March 9, 2007: They’re Rolling

Smackdown
Date: March 9, 2007
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and the only story that matters around here is Batista vs. Undertaker. That’s more than enough to carry a show but it could make for some fairly rough Smackdowns on the way there. Both guys are in action tonight though and we could be in for a good one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long video on Undertaker and Batista, who have called each other out over and over. Tonight, they’re both in the building for the first time since No Way Out.

King Booker vs. Matt Hardy

No entrance for Booker and Queen Sharmell is on commentary. Cole explains that this match is about “establishing dominance” going to Wrestlemania. Seems like a building momentum situati….and Cole says that too before I can even get it out. They trade right hands to start until Hardy pulls him into a headlock takeover. Booker is sent outside for a slingshot dive and we take an early break.

Back with Booker working on the arm with Sharmell screaming a bit. A spinning kick to the face drops Matt for two but he reverses a suplex into a pretty sloppy looking one of his own. Hardy grabs a Russian legsweep for two and the middle rope elbow to the back of the head has Booker down again. Sharmell offers a distraction but Booker misses the kick to the head. Instead, Booker blocks the Twist of Fate, allowing Sharmell to hit Matt with a shoe. The ax kick gives Booker the pin.

Rating: C. You might have expected a bit more than this from these two as it just wasn’t very good. That’s kind of the problem with the matches building towards Money in the Bank though: they couldn’t figure out if this was about building momentum or establishing dominance and the match was messy as a result. I’m sure this will make all the difference in the world at Money in the Bank though, as commentary promised it mattered.

Batista, after watching a video on the Streak and hitting on Kristal a bit, promises to break the Streak and retain the title. As for Kane tonight, it’s time for a Wrestlemania preview.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

We recap the long guest referee announcement from Raw with Steve Austin as the big reveal.

MVP comes in to see Teddy Long and calls Kristal a chicken head. Long: “I don’t appreciate you calling Kristal a chicken head.” Anyway, the point is that MVP didn’t get pinned in last week’s Money in the Bank qualifying match so he wants a US Title shot at Wrestlemania. Long will consider it.

Kane says Batista has no idea how right he was when he called Kane sick, demented and twisted.

Kane vs. Batista

Non-title. Kane actually wrestles him down to the mat to start (that’s some sick, demented and twisted amateur grappling) but Batista is back up with a clothesline in the corner. Some hard shots to the face put Batista down in the corner for some boot choking but he comes back with a DDT for two. We take a break and come back with Kane being knocked outside, where he takes over with more right hands.

Back in and Kane grabs a bodyscissors of all things to keep Batista in trouble. A knee to the back stays on the ribs, which are then bent around the post. The kneeling bearhug goes on and some forearms to the back cut off the comeback attempt. Kane kicks him in the side of the head but the top rope clothesline is knocked out of the air. The cover is countered (you don’t see that every day) with a grab to the throat but Batista’s own kick to the head gets two.

A side slam gets two on Batista and now the top rope clothesline connects for two more. The chokeslam is reversed into the spinebuster but the Batista Bomb attempt is driven into the corner. Kane gets two off the chokeslam and the elbow pad comes off in frustration. Since Kane has never seen an Undertaker match, he rains down right hands in the corner, only to be reversed into the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: B. This was the power match that these two should have had and it worked well. Kane worked on the back to take away the power but then got stupid in the end to cost him. I liked this more than I was expecting to as they set up a logical story (Batista gets a Wrestlemania preview/warmup) and they over delivered. Good stuff.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s troubles with Vince McMahon over the last few weeks.

Celebrities pick Vince vs. Trump. John Travolta still has no idea what he’s being asked about.

It’s time for the FIRST EVER MizTV, with Miz sitting on the mat between the chairs to introduce the show. He needs a hot, smoking guest to start so here is Ashley. She is rather excited about the Playboy release on Monday….and here is Melina to interrupt, with Miz announcing her as the other guest (See? He wasn’t being stupid by sitting between the chairs. Just being polite.).

Melina doesn’t like the attention that Ashley is getting for taking her clothes off because the only man who gets to see Melina like that is Johnny Nitro. Ashley: “That ain’t what I heard honey.” The Wrestlemania title match is set up in a hurry and the catfight is on with Ashley standing tall.

Kane, still tired from his match, doesn’t like being asked about a comparison between Undertaker and Batista at the moment. Great Khali comes in and lays Kane out with some headbutts, busting Kane open in the process. Khali rams him into a metal fence to leave him laying. That looked good and Khali looked even more like a monster than usual.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk

Back with Kennedy hammering away and grabbing a cravate as the CM PUNK chants start up. Punk fights back, including the leg lariat for two and a whip to send Kennedy shoulder first into the post. Now the running knee can connect to set up the bulldog out of the corner but Kennedy knocks him off the ropes to tie Punk up. A hanging neckbreaker, with a quick camera cut in the middle, finishes Punk.

Rating: C. Kind of a slow paced match here and Punk lost in a hurry. That being said, Kennedy was a much bigger star at this point and shouldn’t be losing to just about anyone, especially as his star seems to be rising even more. I’m not sure I would have had Punk losing either, but he hasn’t been doing much of late either.

Finlay isn’t scared of the Undertaker because he is all grown up. He isn’t afraid of the dark, death or the Undertaker. Who cares if Undertaker wants to take him to h***? He’s Irish, so he has already been there.

Finlay vs. Undertaker

This could be interesting. Undertaker goes straight to the shoulder and Old School gets an early two. The arm is tied around the ropes for some right hands but Finlay rakes the eyes. A single right hand knocks Undertaker to the floor with Finlay following, only to be sent into the barricade. Hornswoggle comes out for a distraction but gets stared back, allowing Finlay to get in a chair shot to the ribs to take over.

We take a break and come back with Finlay staying on the ribs as he should be. Undertaker gets in a shot to the face and they fight to the floor, with Undertaker getting in the big boot on the apron. There’s the apron legdrop and Finlay is sent face first into the announcers’ table. Finlay manages to send him into the steps though and the knee is banged up to match the ribs.

The ribs are sent into the apron but he catches a diving Finlay coming off the apron for a ram into the post. Finlay sends him into the steps again though and some knees to the ribs keep Undertaker in trouble back inside. The ribs are fine enough to reverse a suplex into one of his own to put Finlay down again.

They slug it out until Undertaker hits the jumping clothesline. The running corner clotheslines rock Finlay again and Snake Eyes into the legdrop gets two. Cue Hornswoggle for the Shillelagh shot, which has no effect. Finlay’s low blow has an effect but the referee gets bumped. The Shillelagh shot to the head gets a delayed two but Undertaker is back up with the chokeslam and Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: B. Another rather good power match here, though the shenanigans at the end didn’t help things. Undertaker is feeling it right now and having him in there against people like Finlay is going to make it better. I did like Undertaker having none of the Hornswoggle nonsense, though Hornswoggle is terrified of the Boogeyman but not Undertaker? Anyway, good main event here, as you probably expected.

Post match Batista comes out for the staredown, including thumbs up, thumbs down. Undertaker’s eyes go big to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Smackdown, and arguably WWE as a whole, is feeling it right now as things are clicking at the right time. Wrestlemania is all but set and they even added something else tot he card this week. I actually want to see the show (even if the obsession with Trump vs. McMahon is getting annoying, though you can’t argue with the success) and that says a lot for a show I’ve seen several times before. Very strong show this week and hopefully they can keep it up for the next few weeks.

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ECW On Sci Fi – March 6, 2007: Did They Forget About This One?

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: March 6, 2007
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Now this is going to be different as we have a very special guest star in the form of Steve Austin. For once, it is someone who has an actual connection to the original ECW, which really doesn’t mean much but is kind of nice for a change. He’ll be talking about a Raw story, but that is the case with every show at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a quick recap of Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump and Bobby Lashley drawing the boss’ ire.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going in a surprise. Vince recaps Steve Austin being named guest referee for the Battle of the Billionaires and tells us to watch the contract signing on Raw. After getting a little rattled by the WHAT chants, Vince gets them back by saying “Tuscon sucks.” See how easy it is when the fans care about you? Vince promises a Billionaire B**** Slap to Donald Trump at Wrestlemania, but first we see a montage of Bobby Lashley receiving the same kind of slap.

Lashley tried to apologize to Vince earlier today but Vince isn’t accepting that unless it’s in public. Vince calls Lashley out for the apology so here is a rather happy looking Lashley. It’s true that Lashley wants to apologize, but to everyone here and at home as well as Vince (Vince: “Did you just call me Vince?”).

Lashley shakes, and squeezes, Vince’s hand and apologizes for not hitting him in the face for the slap last week. If Vince ever does that again, Lashley will break him in half. Vince goes down from the handshake and Lashley walks off. There wasn’t much said here, but Lashley felt intense and seemed like he belonged on this stage.

Ashley is in Playboy.

Hardcore Holly vs. Balls Mahoney

Holly wastes no time in jumping Mahoney and hammers him down in the corner. The stomping in the corner seems to wake Mahoney up though and he fires off the snap jabs. The guillotine legdrop misses though and Holly hits the Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Post match, Snitsky comes in and kicks Holly in the face.

CM Punk talks about Money in the Bank but here is Elijah Burke to interrupt. Punk doesn’t seem happy but Burke offers him a spot in the New Breed. Rob Van Dam comes in to say Burke doesn’t know what ECW is all about (Burke probably can’t even spell ECW!) but he’ll learn tonight. Punk looks intrigued.

Rob Van Dam vs. Elijah Burke

The ECW Originals and New Breed are all here. Van Dam kicks him down to start and grabs a headscissors. Burke misses a right hand and gets armdragged down, allowing Rob to kick him in the face. A running crossbody sends Burke outside and they crash to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in some rolling suplexes for two. The double arm crank doesn’t last long on Rob but he misses a charge into the post. A double arm crank is broken up in a hurry so Burke takes him into the corner for some running knees to the back. They clothesline each other for a double breather until Rob makes the clothesline comeback. Some kicks to the face set up the split legged moonsault for two on Burke. The Five Star gives Rob the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here as Van Dam can still have a good match when he has the right opponent, which Burke can certainly be. This is the kind of match that helps the feud along too, as the New Breed can beat up the rest of the Originals but Van Dam gives them a fighting chance. Losing to Van Dam doesn’t hurt Burke and it makes the Originals look better so this was as effective as you could get.

Post match, Tommy Dreamer challenges the New Breed to an eight man tag at Wrestlemania. Answer coming later.

Nick Bockwinkel is going into the Hall of Fame. That feels wrong on ECW.

Extreme Expose.

We recap the opening segment.

Here is Steve Austin for the big close. He’s glad to be back home in Tuscon, which is home because WWE is here tonight. The dry heat bugs him though and he needs some beer. Austin recaps the Battle of the Billionaires, albeit in the to the point way that you might expect. Either way, he is calling the match right down the line.

While he has been walking through the airport, people have been asking him who he thinks is winning at Wrestlemania. Austin doesn’t know, so he goes outside and polls some fans, who want McMahon to get his head shaved. He’ll be at Raw for the contract signing because things could get interesting. You’ll see a bald headed billionaire at Wrestlemania….and that’s it. Beer is consumed to end the show, following this rather inconsequential cameo.

Overall Rating: C-. Austin being there felt big just because of who he is, but it wasn’t like he did anything important. This show was more or less an excuse for an Austin cameo to go along with setting up the eight man tag at Wrestlemania. In other words, it was basically a supplement to Raw’s main story with little in the way of importance on its own. The whole thing felt more like a bunch of commercials than a show, which meant it flew by without being all that interesting. Totally skippable show this week.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – February 27, 2007: Down He Goes

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: February 27, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,511
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

The big stories continue to be Bobby Lashley and the ECW Title, plus the New Breed vs. the ECW Originals. Both stories are likely to get a lot of time this week, though Vince McMahon showing up to deal with Lashley should tell you what the focus of this show should be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Donald Trump picking Bobby Lashley as his representative in the Battle of the Billionaires. This set up a pretty awesome Lashley vs. Umaga brawl on Raw.

Tonight: Lashley has to defend the ECW World Title inside a cage against Hardcore Holly.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sabu vs. Mr. Kennedy

Extreme Rules. They actually go to the mat to start until Kennedy hits a slam. The running elbow misses but Kennedy is fine enough to whip him into the corner. Sabu knocks him outside and hits the baseball slide, followed by the dive. A chair is thrown in and a table is set up, with Kennedy being knocked into place. Kennedy gets out of the way, so Sabu just dives onto him anyway.

Back in and the Triple Jump Moonsault is countered with a drop toehold into the open chair, allowing Kennedy to kick him in the face. Kennedy awkwardly puts the table inside but the delay lets Sabu hit a legdrop to the back of the head. Sabu goes up but dives through the table by mistake, allowing Kennedy to hit a DDT onto the table for the pin.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting from this kind of a clash of styles? There was no drama on the winner as Sabu isn’t getting anywhere near a match that big. Sabu needed all of his weapons though and that isn’t Kennedy’s thing, making this quite the mess and not very good in any sense.

Vince McMahon arrives and isn’t happy about being late.

Balls Mahoney vs. Matt Striker

Striker actually hits him in the face to start but hurts his hand. Mahoney shows him some better technique and goes up top for the legdrop. Cue Snitsky to jump Mahoney for the DQ in less than a minute.

Snitsky lays both of them out.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and talks about tonight’s cage match for Bobby Lashley’s ECW World Title. Vince doesn’t like Lashley, so we’re changing things up a bit: if Lashley doesn’t win in five minutes, he loses the title. SURPRISE SURPRISE!

Marcus Cor Von/Kevin Thorn vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer

Ariel and Elijah Burke are with the villains while Sandman is with the ECWites. Van Dam drop toeholds Thorn down to start so Dreamer can drop an elbow for two. A hiptoss sends Thorn down as well and Dreamer hammers away in the corner. He even gets in a right hand to cut off Cor Von in a nice save. The distraction lets Cor Von come in and hammer away though, setting up the chinlock.

That’s broken up in a hurry and it’s off to Van Dam for the assortment of kicks. The split legged moonsault gets two and Rolling Thunder gets the same. Everything breaks down and Dreamer dives off the apron onto Cor Von. Ariel tries to throw in the walking stick but Sandman spanks her with the cane. The distraction lets Thorn crotch Van Dam on top and the Dark Kiss is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This needed more Cor Von as it wasn’t the most energized match. What mattered here was continuing the New Breed’s advantage over the Originals, which should be the case. The Originals aren’t exactly interesting and other than nostalgia, why should I cheer for any of them other than maybe Van Dam? The New Breed might not be great, but what they’re saying makes sense.

Hardcore Holly knows he’s winning tonight because no one can beat him in five minutes.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Richards shoves him out to the floor to start (that might not have been the plan) but Punk is right back in for an exchange of kicks to the legs. More kicks have Punk down and we hit the neck crank. Punk kicks his way out and gets two off a rollup but Richards kicks him right back into the chinlock. With that broken up, Richards takes him up top for the superplex but gets shoved down in a crash. A top rope clothesline sets up the running knee in the corner and the yet to be named GTS finishes Richards off.

Rating: D. This was really weird as Richards started off in control, put on a bunch of chinlocks and then waited for Punk to beat him. It felt more like a Richards match with Punk winning in the end, which isn’t likely what they were going for here. Punk should have come off looking more dominant here, as it’s just Stevie Richards.

We look at Donald Trump picking Bobby Lashley last night, setting up the brawl, again.

Extreme Expose.

Jerry Lawler is going into the Hall of Fame. This isn’t on Peacock for some reason.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

Lashley is defending inside a cage and we have a five minute time limit. As you might expect, Lashley starts fast and hammers away with right hands on the mat. Holly is busted open but avoids a charge so Holly can go up. Lashley goes up too but here are Vince McMahon and Umaga. They fall off the top and Umaga throws in some chairs. Holly clocks Lashley in the head for two with two minutes left. Lashley fights up with a belly to belly suplex and a bunch of chair shots of his own. Another chair to the head drops Holly with a minute left and the running powerslam retains the title in time.

Rating: C. This was angle advancement rather than a regular match and given who was involved, that’s all you could ask for. Holly isn’t a serious threat to win the title and Lashley is on to far bigger and more important things. They got in and out here while doing their thing and that’s the right move for a match like this.

Post match Umaga and Lashley stare each other down. Lashley gets a running start and launches himself into the cage wall, knocking it over and crushing Umaga in the process. Both guys are down to end the show as Armando Alejandro Estrada panics. I’ve always loved this ending as not only is it different, but it makes Lashley look like the kind of monster who can go toe to toe with Umaga.

It’s different from the John Cena feud, as Cena was able to fight enough until he could find a way around Umaga. Lashley is someone who might be able to just beat him one on one through straight power. Awesome ending, if nothing else due to the cage wall knocking Umaga down so fast.

Overall Rating: C-. The ending helped a lot but this was one of their weaker shows so far. The matches weren’t working for the most part and it just kind of kept going. What helps here is that the Originals vs. New Breed and McMahon involvement makes the show feel important. That has been lacking since ECW debuted and while it isn’t going to last forever, it is nice to see for the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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New Column: Two For AEW

This could be the biggest week they have ever had.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-two-aew/




ECW on Sci Fi – February 20, 2007: Back On The Scoreboard

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: February 20, 2007
Location: ipayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 7,50
Commentators: Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with No Way Out and ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley is still ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley despite getting disqualified against Mr. Kennedy. That means we are likely in for a rematch and that could be enough to keep Lashley busy until we get close to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.In Memory of Mike Awesome.

Mr. Kennedy is getting a rematch with Bobby Lashley tonight, with Hardcore Holly thrown in.

Opening sequence.

Here is the New Breed for a chat. They brag about their success last week, which is proof that any one of them can beat any one of the ECW Originals. Matt Striker picks Kevin Thorn for the team so here are the Originals with their pick.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kevin Thorn

Everyone else is at ringside. Thorn kicks him in the ribs to break up the early thumb pointing but gets kicked outside for his efforts. The thumb pointing is broken up again and Thorn pounds away in the corner until Rob knocks him outside. That means a big dive over the top, meaning the big brawl on the floor is on.

Everything is finally broken up and we take a fast break. Back with everyone else gone and Rob hitting a spinwheel kick for a breather. Rob kicks him down again and Rolling Thunder is good for a delayed two. There’s the top rope kick to the face for two and a low high crossbody gets two more. The stepover kick to the face into the Five Star finishes Thorn.

Rating: C-. This felt like little more than a way to get the Originals a win and it isn’t like Van Dam beating Thorn is some big upset. The big brawl at ringside is what mattered here and you know that things are going to keep going for a long time to come. What matters here though is making things feel more even and Van Dam winning clean does that well. Not a particularly good match, but it did what needed to be done.

Video on Snitsky.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro

Melina is here with Nitro. Punk headlock takeovers him to start and grabs a hammerlock. That doesn’t last long as Nitro is back up with a headlock of his own. That earns him a leg lariat but Nitro knocks him down again and hammers at Punk’s face. The breakdancing legdrop gets two and Nitro grabs the cravate. Punk fights up again and hits a kick to the head, setting up some knees to the face. Melina breaks up the springboard clothesline though, allowing Nitro to hit a spinning kick to the chest for two of his own. The corkscrew moonsault misses Punk though and the GTS sends Punk to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C. Simple but efficient match here with a bit of a surprise winner. Punk is a big deal in ECW but Nitro has been a pretty established name on both Raw and Smackdown. This was a good win for Punk and while he isn’t going to win Money in the Bank, it means something for him just to be put in the spot in the first place.

Mr. Kennedy doesn’t know why tonight’s title match is a triple threat. Hardcore Holly comes in to say life isn’t fair. ECW is Holly’s world and Kennedy isn’t winning the title.

La Resistance vs. Los Luchas

A spinebuster into Au Revoir gives La Resistance the win in about thirty seconds.

Post match here is Snitsky to lay out La Resistance to give this a point.

We get another video on Bobby Lashley, this time talking about growing up in a military family. Then his parents got divorced and it was time to move into sports to give him a focus. He won a National Championship but there was no one there to celebrate with him. That’s pretty rough.

Extreme Expose.

Mr. Perfect Hall of Fame video.

ECW World Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending. Holly gets knocked down to start so Kennedy takes Lashley into the corner. Lashley fights back on both of them without much trouble, including some shoulders to Kennedy in the corner. Kennedy sends Lashley into the corner and suplexes Holly for two. We settle down a bit and it’s Kennedy hitting a running knee to Lashley in the corner, only to get full nelson slammed by Holly. Lashley is back up to send Kennedy to the floor and backdrop Holly down again.

That earns Kennedy a hard whip into the steps but Holly is back up with a baseball slide to Lashley. Back in and Holly grabs a chinlock on Lashley, who powers up to get Holly on his back without much trouble. With Holly still holding on, Lashley punches Kennedy in the face a few times. Holly jumps Lashley again and grabs a chair, setting up the Alabama Slam… not onto the chair for some reason. Kennedy breaks up the cover and chairs Holly by mistake, allowing Lashley to hit the running powerslam to retain.

Rating: C. This was a good illustration of how Lashley needs new opponents. He was in a glorified handicap match here and still ran through both guys in less than seven minutes. There is no one on ECW to challenge Lashley at the moment and that means he is going to need someone big to come in sooner rather than later. For now though, this worked as another fine demonstration of the dominance.

Overall Rating: C-. It wasn’t a great show, but it was a show that felt a lot more structured. It felt like ECW is finally starting to get things going and find their way, which is long overdue. Now they need some fresh talent to go with that structure, though I’m not sure how much of a priority the show is going to be until a good while after ECW.

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ECW On Sci Fi – January 30, 2007: Guest Stars Edition

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 30, 2007
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 15,156
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and the big story around here is Bobby Lashley beating Test (again), this time via countout. That isn’t much to go on, but there is something more important around here as Vince McMahon is bringing his Fan Appreciation Night here as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon arrives and runs into Marquis Cor Von. McMahon seems to be a fan, calling him a breath of fresh air. Cor Von approves and McMahon goes on to find Sandman, who is reading the paper (no). That’s ok, but DRINKING ON THE JOB isn’t. McMahon remembers that he’s the Sandman and asks asks how he got that name. This sends McMahon into a chorus of Mr. Sandman as we flash back to Back To The Future.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Striker forearms away to start but gets leg lariated in the face. There’s a clothesline to the floor and Punk follows him outside for the kicks to the chest. Back in and Striker kicks the rope into Punk’s chest, setting up a hanging swinging neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on (with Punk looking like he’s tapping) until Punk makes the comeback you are probably picturing. The powerslam into the running knee in the corner into the bulldog has Striker in more trouble. A backbreaker gives Punk two and he tries a sunset flip, only to have Striker drop down and grab the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. Punk taking pins, even via cheating, still doesn’t feel right and hopefully it isn’t something that happens very often. He is one of the biggest hopes for the future and while this is far from some career killer, it wasn’t exactly something that seems to be the best idea, especially for Striker of all people.

We look at Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and showing up on Raw to tease challenging John Cena at Wrestlemania.

Vince McMahon runs into Tommy Dreamer and asks what kind of a name is Dreamer. What could anyone be dreaming about? Dreamer: “Are you serious?” McMahon: “No, I’m Vince.”

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

They trade hammerlocks to start until Rob kicks him down. A hurricanrana drops Holly again and there’s a kick to the face for two more. The Alabama Slam is broken up and Van Dam hits a superkick, only to get caught with a running clothesline. A backdrop puts Holly on the floor and the big running dive takes him down again.

We take a break and come back with Van Dam kicking him down and dropping the spinning leg for two. It’s time to go up, meaning Holly can shove him down onto the barricade for a big crash. Back in and the reverse chinlock goes on but Van Dam jawbreaks his way to freedom. Holly kicks him down again and chokes on the rope, setting up the kick to the very lower abdomen for two. The chinlock goes on but this time Van Dam breaks away to hit the running spinwheel kick.

There’s the monkey flip out of the corner into the running kick to the face in the corner. The top rope kick to the head sets up Rolling Thunder but Holly powerbombs him out of the corner for two. Holly goes up top for a change and gets crotched down, only to shove Van Dam down. Van Dam hits a spinning kick to the face but misses the Five Star. Holly’s back gives out on the Alabama Slam attempt but he sends Van Dam into the corner, setting up the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. There is something strange about seeing Holly winning a match over Van Dam, as it isn’t like this show has the strongest top of the card in WWE. Hopefully they come up with someone else soon, because I don’t think Holly is the right choice. The match got some time and was good enough, but Van Dam losing to Holly is weird.

Vince McMahon runs into Sabu, making him think he’s in Afghanistan. Vince: “It’s a member of the Taliban!” Sabu needs to stay away from him.

Post break, Vince McMahon runs into Balls Mahoney. He likes the last name, but not so much the first name.

Extreme Expose. This goes on for a bit until Vince McMahon, with security, breaks it up. The women are happy to see him but Vince throws them out of his ring. Security is tossed as well and Vince promises to not be embarrassed like he was last night. This is his first time in an ECW ring and he thinks all of the ECW originals suck. Actually anything about the original ECW sucks, including the people who liked it.

What we need around here are athletes with charisma rather than a bunch of drunken suicidal misfits. We need someone like this man, so here is Elijah Burke, who is rather pleased to be here. After a photo opportunity, Burke talks about how all of his fans are saying amen. The fans call this boring but Burke promises that everyone is going to feel his wrath. Cue the ECW Originals to beat Burke down as Vince is annoyed. The beatdown takes a good while, including Sabu putting Burke through a table.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley is defending and this is their third match in eight days. Test gets kicked out to the floor to start but manages to post Lashley. More posting ensues and we take an early break. Back with Test working on the arm he injured during the commercial, including a flying armbar. Lashley manages to post him before the arm can be sent into the post again to get an opening. Some running clotheslines and a running shoulder in the corner set up the delayed vertical suplex. Test misses the big boot and gets caught with an exploder suplex. The running powerslam retains the title.

Rating: D+. Somehow that might be the most competitive of their matches. I know Test was on his way out, but I didn’t need to see this match happen three times in eight days. Lashley dominated him throughout the series and that doesn’t make for the most interesting string of matches. At least they kept it short.

Post match Lashley celebrates but the gong sounds. Cue the Undertaker to stare Lashley down, take out Test for daring to try to interfere, and then look at the ECW Title. Joey is SURE this means Undertaker vs. Lashley at Wrestlemania.

Overall Rating: C-. You can tell that it’s Wrestlemania season as WWE is actually trying to do something for a change. Having Vince around to set up something big with the Originals vs. the new ECW is the kind of thing that could go on for a long way around here. Undertaker isn’t likely to be back around here, but at least they gave us a little tease.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – January 23, 2007: Terrible

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 23, 2007
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and Bobby Lashley still needs a challenger for his ECW World Title. That would seem to be Test, but the match needs to be set already. Other than that, I’m not sure how much almost anything else matters around here, and ECW has not done much to fix that situation. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Sandman, Kevin Thorn, Rob Van Dam, Sabu, Tommy Dreamer

This is an Over The Top Rope Challenge, because Battle Royals aren’t a thing around here. It’s a brawl to start as you would expect, with Van Dam being knocked down into the corner. Dreamer sends Sabu into the corner so Sabu tries a hurricanrana over the top, taking both of them out in the process. That’s rather Sabu of him. Thorn gets rid of Sandman and we’re down to two in a hurry.

Van Dam’s monkey flip is blocked and he is sat on top, where his tornado DDT is broken up. Instead it’s a big spinwheel kick to the face to drop Thorn, setting up Rolling Thunder. Thorn backdrops him to the apron but the forearms aren’t enough for an elimination. Rob gets to the top instead and manages a spinning kick in the corner, leaving Thorn to rather loudly call a spot. That spot seems to be awkwardly kick Van Dam in the face but not be able to toss him out. A superkick sends Thorn to the apron and Van Dam hits his top rope kick to the face for the win.

Rating: D+. I like the idea of Van Dam getting a bit of momentum going into the Royal Rumble, even if he has no change of winning. They didn’t bother with any drama with the other ECW originals and got to the point here, which was a good idea. The quality wasn’t the point here, and while it was weird to see a battle royal in ECW, it did make sense.

For unclear reasons, Hardcore Holly is out of the main event and Test will be replacing him.

Marquis Cor Von vs. Wes Adams

Before the match, Cor Von tells Adams to get out of the way or get run over. The beating is on in a hurry and a big boot cuts Adams down in a hurry. The release butterfly suplex sends Adams flying and it’s the Pounce into the Fujiwara armbar to end Adams in a hurry.

Cor Von gets in a few more shots after the match but makes sure to get his hand raised.

Hardcore Holly storms into Test’s locker room and wants to know how Test got the match changed. Test doesn’t know, but Holly says he’s coming for the ECW World Title no matter what.

Here are Kelly Kelly, Brooke Adams and Layla El for the return of Kelly’s Expose/debut of Extreme Expose, meaning three women dancing in rather limited clothing. This goes on for a good while and they don’t quite have it down to a science yet. Then the music stops and they all look confused.

Video on Test.

Matt Striker comes out for commentary, meaning we look at Kelly Kelly flashing him last week.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Punk strikes away in the corner and you can hear the beads in Burke’s hair rattling against each other. Burke gets in a shot of his own but Punk cuts him off with a spinwheel kick. The armbar goes on to keep Burke in trouble as the fans are not incredibly interested. Striker talks about being conservative and being scared about the idea of Punk winning the Royal Rumble.

Punk fires off the knees to the chest as Striker tries to figure out why the fans like Punk more than him. Styles: “It’s only an hour show.” Burke comes back with a shot to the back of the neck and the chinlock goes on. There’s a swinging neckbreaker (with Punk falling a bit early) and we’re off to another chinlock. Punk fights up again and gets pulled down into yet another chinlock as this is dying hard.

Back up and Burke misses a charge in the corner but holds the ropes to avoid a Russian legsweep. Now it’s a reverse chinlock as the fans are trying to get behind Punk. A knee drop gives Burke two and THE CHINLOCK GOES ON AGAIN. Punk finally fights up and hits a neckbreaker to start the comeback but the fans are way gone. The running knee in the corner sets up the bulldog for two so Burke grabs a rollup with trunks for two. That’s reversed into a cradle to give Punk the pin, much to Striker’s annoyance.

Rating: D-. The fans were dead, Striker was his usual buzzkill self on commentary (as he was supposed to be) and the match was just bad. It wasn’t interesting and you had a completely unacceptable five chinlocks in an eight minute match. Grab an armbar or something man, as it stopped working after the second attempt. This was one of the weakest and most boring matches I can remember in a very long time.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title. Test bails to the floor to start so Lashley is right on him to start up the beating. Back in and Test gets in a quick stomp, only to be knocked outside again. Back in again and Test bails a second time as we take a break. We come back again with Test grabbing a chinlock (that last match must have been quite the influence) but Lashley is up in a hurry. A hard whip into the corner looks to set up the top rope elbow but Lashley gets the boot up.

Lashley misses an elbow so Test hammers away and unhooks a turnbuckle pad. The referee checks on that so Test unhooks another buckle (what a crafty villain), setting up the chest first whip. The pumphandle slam gets two on Lashley so it’s time to grab a chair. Lashley spears him down and hammers away, including a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner. A suplex sends Test outside and Lashley tosses him into the barricade. Back in and Lashley hits the running powerslam for the clean pin.

Rating: C-. The match itself was a watchable power match, but Test was already announced as the #1 contender for the Royal Rumble. Not only does it not make sense for him to wrestle here at all, but it really doesn’t make sense to have that ending. It’s quite the bizarre choice, though I would be scared to know how much thought was actually put into anything ECW did at the moment.

Overall Rating: D-. Total and complete misfire here as this show was awful. It took a good while to get through the thing because it wasn’t interesting at all and pretty much nothing worked. ECW isn’t a good show most of the time but this was one of the worst shows I’ve seen from WWE in a very long time. I would hope that things get better, because this show was horrible.

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ECW On Sci Fi – January 16, 2007: The Early Big Match

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 16, 2007
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

We are almost to the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to make Test #1 contender. That is about as obvious of a title match as there has been in a bit around here. Last week Test cost Van Dam his title shot so tonight it’s a triple threat. Normally you would think that would be saved for the Rumble if they want the biggest match possible, but ECW can be weird that way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the returning Kelly Kelly for a chat. She reminds us that she is an exhibitionist and now that she is single, Kelly’s Expose is back next week. We get a bit of a tease with Kelly saying she won’t be dancing alone, but here is Matt Striker to interrupt a preview. Striker says he has had students like her before, because she is willing to do anything for attention.

Her expose is not approved curriculum and if she does not learn better, she will be like everyone else. Also, did you know that women’s feet are smaller than men’s? It’s so they can stand closer to the kitchen counter. For now, she can go sit at ringside while Striker beats up her crush.

CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Kelly is rather pleased to see Punk, who drives Striker into the corner to start. A headlock works a bit better for Striker but it’s a hiptoss to break that up in a hurry. Punk kicks him in the back and then in the face for two, setting up the armbar to slow things back down. A hammerlock slam sets up another armbar as commentary starts talking about the Royal Rumble. Punk cranks on both arms at once but Striker fights up, only to get sent hard to the floor.

Back from a break with Striker holding a headscissors to choke Punk, who bounces his way to freedom. A basement dropkick gives Punk a breather but Striker takes him into the corner for the running kick to the face. Punk comes back up with his series of kicks, followed by the knees to the face. The running knee into the bulldog gets two on Striker but he’s back with a neckbreaker. Striker loads up something, but Kelly gets on the apron to flash him (which seems to disgust Striker), allowing Punk to grab a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D+. The ending was the point here, but the match wasn’t very good on the way there. Striker isn’t very good in the ring and should stick to the talking, as he is a great pest. Punk needing help to beat him is not exactly encouraging after his loss last week, but putting him with Kelly (maybe) is a bit more of a direction.

We look back at Test costing Rob Van Dam his title shot last week.

Marquis Cor Von vs. Cassidy Riley

Cor Von is better known as Monty Brown from TNA, meaning we get some TNA chants. Riley is taken into the corner for some early forearms to the face and Cor Von easily powers him to the apron. Some knees to the chest into a butterfly suplex set up the unnamed Pounce. A Fujiwara armbar makes Riley tap. Cor Von was a proto Big E., down to the look, the way he walked and the big goofy face that Big E. makes.

Post match Cor Von says he’s here to do whatever he wants because the hardest regardless is Marquis Cor Von, the Alpha Male. Oh yeah you can see the star power all over this guy.

Bobby Lashley doesn’t like the situation but he’s keeping the title. This was a rather rough promo as Lashley sounded lost, despite it only being about twenty seconds long.

Wrestlemania Recall: Roddy Piper and the fire extinguisher to Morton Downey Jr.

Sandman vs. Elijah Burke

Before the match, Burke promises to give Sandman a shot of reality. Sandman canes Sylvester Terkay down before the bell so Burke gets in a few shots. A faceplant drops Burke and Sandman crotches him on top. What looked like a super Russian legsweep is broken up and Burke grabs a rollup with jeans for the fast pin. That would be Terkay’s last appearance, as he would be released later in the week.

We look at Tommy Dreamer picking himself up after getting squashed by Great Khali last week.

Ariel has a red rose, which means love, devotion and passion. Kevin Thorn has a black rose, which means pain, suffering and destruction. At the Royal Rumble, there will be 29 black roses and one red rose, for the winner, Kevin Thorn. Neck biting ensues.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Lashley is defending and anything goes. Test and Lashley start brawling on the floor before the bell before getting inside, where Van Dam kicks them both down for two. Rob takes Test outside again to drop him onto the barricade, setting up the spinning kick to the back. We settle down to Lashley vs. Van Dam and their timing seems to be off in a hurry. A rollup gives Van Dam two but Lashley gives him some shoulders in the corner.

After knocking Test off the apron, Lashley grabs a chinlock to keep Van Dam down. Van Dam fights up but gets pulled back down into another chinlock as we take a break. Back with Test hammering away on Lashley but Van Dam grabs a rollup out of the corner. Lashley makes a save after Test has already kicked out so Test drops both of them for two each. Test shoves Van Dam hard off the top for the crash into the barricade but walks into a suplex to give Lashley two.

Van Dam is back in to kick Lashley in the face and the springboard kick to the face puts him down for two more. With Van Dam being sent outside again, Test breaks up a superplex attempt and drops a top rope elbow for two on Lashley. Van Dam comes back in with a top rope kick to Test’s chest and a double Rolling Thunder hits both of them. One heck of a Five Star hits Test but Lashley spears Van Dam down. The running powerslam plants Van Dam to retain the title.

Rating: C-. They had some good spots here but it was rather sloppy in a few places. Lashley and Van Dam looked like they were on different pages for most of their time together and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt given what they have been setting up in recent weeks. Test vs. Lashley will work, though it still doesn’t seem like a big match.

Post match Test knocks Lashley out with the title and yells at him to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Cor Von was about the only thing that made an impact here and that didn’t leave much for the rest of the show. The two longer matches were both pretty lame and you need something more in the middle if your book ending matches aren’t very good. The lack of star power continues to show here and they need to do something about the lack of depth. Not one of their better shows and that is a bad sign for the future.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – January 9, 2007: They Need Help

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 9, 2007
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz, Brad Armstrong

The road to the Royal Rumble continues but Test has thrown a bit of a monkey wrench into the ECW World Title plans. Last week saw Bobby Lashley defending his title against Rob Van Dam until Test interfered. Odds are that sets up a rematch here and then Test’s title shot at the Rumble, which is not the worst schedule. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Test interfering in last week’s title match. The rematch is on for tonight.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk starts fast with an armdrag but it’s too early for the Anaconda Vice. A powerslam can’t get the hold on either so Punk kicks him in the back. There’s a running clothesline to put Holly on the floor but Holly steps aside from the big dive. Back in and Holly bends him around the ropes, setting up the middle rope legdrop for two. Punk fights up with a dropkick and some running clotheslines but Holly shows him how a dropkick works. Holly sends him into the corner and the Alabama Slam puts Punk away.

Rating: C. As jarring as it is to see Punk take a loss in a singles match to Hardcore Holly of all people, the match itself worked out well enough. Holly did cheat a bit by sending him into the post, though it wasn’t like Punk was in control after the first thirty seconds or so. Not a bad match, but I’m a bit puzzled as to why Punk needed to take a loss. He’s pretty clearly a big part of the future around here, and he loses to Holly?

Test is told his match is next, but he just isn’t feeling it tonight because he should be getting the title shot against Bobby Lashley. Seems a little testy tonight.

Here’s Elijah Burke to say he is here alone because it is time to knock someone out on his own. Cue Sandman, who spends a pretty long time drinking on the way to the ring. With his head already busted open, Sandman gets in and blocks the first punch with the stick. Burke hits a few shots but Sandman canes him out to the floor in a segment that was slightly more interesting than I expected.

Video on Great Khali, who is now on Raw. ECW did not need to lose him so quickly, as they do not have any roster depth at the moment.

Great Khali vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Rules and Daivari is here with Khali. Dreamer tries to bring in the metal sign but gets stomped down in a hurry. A clothesline drops Dreamer and Khali pounds away in the corner. Dreamer goes to the eyes and hammers away with the sign, which Khali punches away. The double chokeslam gives Khali the fast pin.

Rob Van Dam has been accused of not caring about anything but he cares about the ECW World Title. Now he wants his title back and if he has to go through a great champion like Lashley to get it, that’s cool.

During the break, Tommy Dreamer pulled himself up to his feet. The guy never has been that bright.

Kevin Thorn vs. Shannon Moore

Ariel is here with Thorn. Moore charges at him to start and gets hammered down in a hurry. A big toss pulls Moore out of the corner and the Dark Kiss finishes for Thorn.

Kelly Kelly is back next week. She was gone long enough to warrant a return?

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam

Lashley is defending. Feeling out process to start, with Rob firing off the strikes and Lashley throwing him around. We take an early break and come back with Lashley’s spear hitting the corner, allowing Van Dam to hit a slingshot legdrop to the apron. The split legged moonsault gets two on Lashley and there’s the top rope kick to the face. A Figure Four headscissors keeps Lashley in trouble and his comeback is cut off with a kick to the head. Lashley hits a running clothesline in the corner though and we hit the torture rack.

Van Dam is right back up with a spinwheel kick so Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly. Lashley’s spear misses though and he goes flying to the floor but he’s fine enough to send Van Dam into the barricade. Back in and Lashley hits another running corner clothesline and some rolling suplexes put Van Dam down for two. Now the spear can connect but here’s Test to chair Lashley down.

Rating: C+. They were having a good match here and the ending was the right call. That’s the only way this match could have gone as Test is ready for the next title shot. I’m not sure what is next for Van Dam though, as there isn’t exactly anyone else for him to face around here at the moment.

Test chairs Van Dam as well and leaves for some sneering to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The huge gap between the talent levels around here is astounding and there is only so much that you can do with this roster. The main event stuff is working for now, but I have no idea how much of a shelf life they have. Other than that, this show is kind of a wreck with almost nothing interesting going on. Some of the stars they have could become something later, but right now, it isn’t much to see.

 

 

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Tribute To The Troops 2006: Merry Christmas

Tribute To The Troops 2006
Date: December 25, 2006
Location: Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a pretty cool tradition as this is the annual Tribute To The Troops show. This time around they are over in Iraq for a show where the wrestling does not mean a thing and we get to see a bunch of wrestlers and celebrities talk about how great the military is. This may or may not be your cup of beverage but let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the USO and others helping to entertaining the troops. Tonight, WWE will be doing exactly the same.

John Cena vs. Edge

Non-title. Cena takes him down with a headlock takeover but Edge gets to his feet and takes it into the corner. That earns him a hiptoss and slam for two but Cena misses a charge and walks into a DDT. Some right hands in the corner keep Cena in trouble until he gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. A clothesline cuts Cena off again and he heads to the apron, meaning it’s time for a slugout. Cena gets knocked off the top and out to the floor, setting up the baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Edge working on a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs but Cena fights up. The Throwback drops Edge again and it’s time for a double breather. There’s a big boot to give Edge two but he takes too much time grabbing a chair, allowing Cena to get two off a rollup. A spinwheel kick sets up a quickly broken camel clutch on Cena, who starts the expected comeback. The FU is countered into the Impaler though and Edge goes up top….where he gets caught by Cena, only to counter into an electric chair to put Cena down again. The spear hits corner though and the FU finishes Edge.

Rating: C+. Pretty much a house show main event here, which these two have had probably a hundred times by now. Granted this isn’t a show where the wrestling itself is going to matter whatsoever. You aren’t going to have the All American Boy losing here though and it isn’t like anyone losing to Cena is hurt whatsoever. Is there a reason they didn’t make this a title match though?

A General gave a nice speech about WWE and giving the soldiers some Americana.

Video on wrestlers interacting with troops.

CM Punk and Shelton Benjamin wish the troops and their families a happy holidays.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton jumps him to start but the threat of a right hand sends him outside as we get some credits for the military people who helped air the show. Back in and Punk is sent shoulder first into the post, setting up a rather logical shoulder breaker. Punk fights out of an armbar but a hair pull puts him right back down. That means a second armbar for Punk to fight out of, setting up some kicks into a bulldog. A military helicopter flies by as Shelton jumps the corner to grab a superplex for two. The Stinger Splash misses though and Punk grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. Much quicker match here and it worked well enough. Punk winning by fluke is the right way to go as he isn’t ready for a dominant win over Benjamin, but you can see that WWE has some plans for him. Good enough match here with the arm work and Punk won, meaning there isn’t much to complain about.

Some troops say hi and one gets pinned.

Johnny Nitro vs. Undertaker

Melina is here too and this could be interesting. Undertaker’s entrance doesn’t work as well in the light, but the lack of hat and coat is understandable in the desert. Nitro dodges around to start and gets in a few right hands in the corner. That earns him a quick toss into the same corner and some much bigger right hands as the dominance begins. Undertaker starts cranking on the arm and Old School connects. Nitro slips out of the Last Ride though and hits an enziguri but Undertaker clotheslines him down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the chokeslam and it’s a Tombstone for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Another short and to the point match here with Undertaker’s appearance alone giving the soldiers a thrill. I believe this is the only singles match that these two would ever have, which is kind of surprising as you would think they might have met each other down the line at some point. Still though, just a quick near squash here and for a show like this, that’s the right idea.

Undertaker poses for a good while.

Earlier today, Lilian Garcia sang the National Anthem, which as usual, is great.

Wrestlers and troops say seasons greetings.

Video on wrestlers interacting with troops and doing military things when mortar attacks went off. Everyone had to go and take cover, which is quite the moment.Fourteen soldiers were injured.

Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Lashley drives him into the corner to start and busts out the gorilla press, which always looks good. A shoulder puts Holly down again and a snap suplex gets two. There’s the delayed vertical suplex for the same and they go outside, where Holly sends him hard into the steps. Back in and Holly sends the shoulder into the post, setting up the armbar. Lashley fights up and slaps on a torture rack, which he drops down into a backbreaker for another two. Holly gets in his own suplex but Lashley grabs a running powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Another short and to the point match here with Lashley, the ex-military guy, getting to look pretty dominant in the win. Lashley is the next big thing in ECW and it is making him feel like a much bigger deal, even if he is stuck beating up people like Holly and Test every so often.

An Iraqi Army captain explains some of what the two militaries are doing.

Wrestlers meet troops and do stuff.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Hardy hammers away to start but gets knocked down without much effort. The sitdown splash misses though and they head outside with Umaga sending him into the post. Another ram into the barricade keeps Hardy in trouble and they head back inside for a kick to the spine. The nerve hold goes on to keep Hardy down but Umaga’s top rope splash misses. Hardy is back up with the Whisper in the Wind for two and there’s the Twist of Fate. The Swanton only hits knees though and Umaga unloads in the corner. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to put Hardy away.

Rating: C. Ok then. I’m not sure what the point was in having the champion lose here but again, it isn’t like it matters. Umaga is on a roll at this point and we are going to be getting a heck of a showdown with Cena at the pay per view. Going over Hardy makes Umaga look good, though it is kind of weird to see a champion getting mostly squashed.

The Director of Armed Forces Entertainment gives a lieutenant the 2.6 millionth letter the military has received.

Carlito vs. Randy Orton

Carlito’s headlock doesn’t last long to start so he goes with the left hands in the corner instead. An armdrag sets up an armbar but Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick. A swinging side slam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. Carlito fights up for the slugout and the springboard elbow to the face gets two. The RKO is countered into the Backstabber but Orton grabs the ropes to save himself. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two so Carlito rolls him up and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: C-. They couldn’t have had Carlito lose to Umaga and have Hardy win here? Anyway, Carlito continues to not be the most inspiring guy and having him beat Orton feels a bit out of place. The fans seemed to like the cheating win at the end though and it’s nice to give the soldiers something to cheer.

Santa meets some of the women, who have been naughty this year.

Some troops worked in one of Saddam Hussein’s palaces.

And now, JBL Claus (pull your beard up man). Santa talks about how great the troops are and brings out Krystal, Maria and Torrie to meet some troops. Santa: “Does Santa Claus rock or what?” We get some jokes about how the women look and then Santa has them throw out some gifts. This goes on for a good bit until Chris Masters comes out to interrupt.

Masters says he hates Christmas and doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He doesn’t like the way the troops drool over Santa’s helpers, so let’s have a Masterlock Challenge for one of the troops. Well hang on a second, as first he is challenging Santa to the Masterlock Challenge. The hold goes on and JR thinks Rudolph needs to make a save. Santa is out and Masters wins, saying there is no Christmas (because Masters doesn’t get that Santa has already done his work for the year).

Masters looks for a soldier to take the challenge and picks one of the smallest around. The Masterlock goes on again and this time JBL comes in to break kick Masters in the back….which is enough to break the hold and the soldier wins. JBL and the women say Merry Christmas to wrap it up.

One more long video on the trip ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I never know how to rate a show like this but this is the very basic version compared to what the show would become. What we got here was good enough though as the wrestling was fine enough and it still felt special. Above all else, the idea of going over to Iraq makes the show come off as important. WWE putting in some effort is nice and this worked out rather well for a Christmas night special.

 

 

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