Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: October 6, 2014
This week’s show was a very strange mix of comedy, cancer, hot dogs and HODA’S CRAZY DANCE. You don’t know what HODA’S CRAZY DANCE is? Well you’re in for a treat because HODA’S CRAZY DANCE involves middle aged women drinking wine, dancing, and Hoda being CRAZY. Oh yeah and there’s some other stuff. Let’s get to it.
Rollins opened the show to talk about what Cena and Ambrose did to him last week. He knows he’s a marked man and wants Ambrose to come out here right now. This brings out a charging Cena for a fight and Rollins runs into the crowd. Since this is wrestling, Ambrose is right there in the crowd waiting for him. They brawled back to ringside where Cena got his hands on Rollins again until Ambrose dove on both of them, allowing Seth to escape. The Authority came in and made Cena/Ambrose vs. Orton/Kane/Rollins. Decent but I’m getting tired of these handicaps.
We recap Big Show and Rusev. Big Show had to undergo sensitivity training, which thankfully we only heard about.
Ziggler and the Usos beat the Dusts and Cesaro. My goodness how many times do we have to sit through combinations of these matches before we get to the Cell?
John Cena was on the Today Show to talk about the breast cancer stuff.
AND NOW IT IS TIME! Kathy Lee and Hoda from the Today Show came out as Rosebuds to sit at a table and drink wine (apparently it’s a thing they do on their show). They talk about how much fun they like to have and how crazy they can get. Kathy is happy because they can be crazy here unlike on the Today Show, so Hoda does HER CRAZY DANCE! It’s just her lifting her arms in the air and dancing in a circle and the fans react as well as you would expect. They do the Adam Rose apron fall and that’s it. No breast cancer awareness talk, no interaction with anyone from Rose, nothing.
This is the kind of stupid pandering that wrestling fans get tired of. The entire segment felt like a waste of time and little more than trying to get middle aged women to watch Raw. Here’s the problem with that: yeah you might get eighteen bored housewives to watch your show for five minutes, but how many of your regular viewers do you think changed over to Monday Night Football or ANYTHING else to not have to watch this? It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, and it feels so totally out of place that it’s not worth bringing these two in.
Same Luke Harper video from last week.
Mark Henry destroyed Bo Dallas again but got counted out. Nothing to see here.
Cena and Ambrose had their big talking segment and said they didn’t want to hate each other but would go after the other if they had a reason. Cena wanted to bury the hatchet for one night but Ambrose said he was hungry and was going to Coney Island for a hot dog. These two aren’t going to have a big emotional fight, but the match should rock either way.
Ambrose got on a subway and left the arena. HHH caught up with Cena and said Rollins would have to start the match so Cena could get his hands on him at least once. HHH’s “Man, kids these days” line made me laugh.
Brie Bella beat Summer Rae with an arm tied behind her back. Again, nothing to see here.
Miz and Mizdow sucked up to Kane with a fruit basket and got a match with Sheamus as a result.
Jack Swagger beat Tyson Kidd with the Patriot Lock because Natalya wouldn’t help Kidd near the end. I have no idea where this story is going and I really don’t care.
Edge and Christian have a special after Raw on the Network but don’t have much to say about it. I need to watch that.
Roman Reigns was live via satellite to say he’ll be back soon. Again, nothing to see here.
Now we get to the bad part of the show. Like, the REALLY bad part of the show: El Torito vs. Mini Gator. This wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, it didn’t have the Bunny (yeah it’s stupid, but are you telling me he’s not about a thousand times more interesting than these two?) and even the announcers ripped on it.
Rusev came out and got cut off by the Rock. I already wrote about this in detail so go here to read why this wasn’t a bad thing:
AJ walked out on Emma, causing her to lose to Paige and Alicia Fox. Why that makes AJ more of a face isn’t really clear but I’m sure it involves MIND GAMES. They should just air parts of Michaels vs. Mankind from Mind Games whenever these segments are on.
Erick Rowan has been set free as well. The interesting part of this was a shot of a pregnant woman with the words IT’S COMING written on her stomach. I’ve heard rumors about this and I like where it could be going.
Miz beat Sheamus with a rollup, likely setting up their next feud. There were several pro-Sandow chants here which could lead to something.
Joan Lunden, another cancer fighting journalist, came out to praise cancer survivors in the audience. Yeah it’s cool, but good night do these things bring the show down.
A Real Housewife of Atlanta is going to guest star next week. Dear goodness this is going to suck.
Cena beat the Authority via DQ when they triple teamed him. Ambrose made the save with a Coney Island hot dog cart and condiments were spilled. The good guys cleaned house until HHH came out and made Cena vs. Ambrose at the PPV with the winner getting Rollins inside the Cell. I like the idea and it gives us a way around a stupid triple threat. Ambrose laid out Cena to a huge reaction to end the show.
This show was all over the place. The main event storyline is interesting but these handicap matches are getting old in a hurry. We’ve seen every possible combination of these matches and almost all of them end up in a DQ. We get the idea already and there’s nothing new that they can say with them. Thankfully there’s a match for the PPV now, but there’s still more work to do with it. Ambrose almost has to go over Cena and then Rollins if they want him to have legs though.
Then you have Rock and Rusev, which likely isn’t setting anything up but how many people has Rock ever complimented in a promo? That’s some rare air and Rock gave him a great rub. “BUT RUSEV DIDN’T CRUSH HIM!” No, he didn’t, and people thinking he should have make me shake my head.
Above all else though, we have the celebrity stuff which is what drove this show off the rails. Look, I get why WWE is doing all their cancer charity stuff and, while it’s heavy handed, at least it’s designed to raise money for a good cause (and for WWE to go “LOOK AT US! WE’RE DOING SOMETHING GOOD!”).
That being said, these speeches just bring the show to a grinding halt. They make anything after feel awkward because you have these thoughts in your head about people dying of a horrible disease and how serious it is. That makes it kind of hard to care about a 6’5 pale guy shouting FELLA you know? I get why WWE does these things and yeah they’re important, but they’re so out of place on a WWE show. The fact that they’re all over the show doesn’t help things either.
Overall Raw this week had way more bad than good, but the good stuff has me excited. Things will get better once we get to November and can drop the cancer stuff. Hopefully the celebrities go with them because having a Real Housewife and that Chrisley Knows Best guy don’t make me want to keep watching. They make me want to go write about how much I hate reality TV and miss interesting wrestling. That’s a bad thing to have your fans saying but WWE seems to like the idea. Or maybe USA does but it’s the same result.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – October 6, 2014: Ketchup, Cancer and THE ROCK
Monday Night Raw Date: October 6, 2014
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re in the big city tonight and there are some potential big names in the house. I mean I’m talking KATHY LEE GIFFORD to tell us that breast cancer is bad here people. That’s WWE’s big deal at the moment: “Look at us! We’re doing charity work!” If you didn’t know that going in, don’t worry because WWE is going to tell you once every five minutes. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Dean Ambrose giving away a bunch of shirts and sliming Seth Rollins with the Money in the Bank briefcase.
Here’s Rollins to take over the show to start. He rants about how what Ambrose did last week wasn’t funny and demands to show the real clip from last week: Ambrose being curb stomped onto the briefcase. Rollins wants Ambrose to fight right now but he gets the new Stooges instead, telling him he needs to leave. Seth knows he’s a marked man and that’s just what he wants. Instead Cena charges out and chases Rollins into the crowd.
Seth stands there shouting at Cena and of course Ambrose is right behind him. Dean chases him into the ring and Cena gets in a few shots of his own, only to have Ambrose dive on both of them, allowing Rollins to escape. HHH and Stephanie come out and say this isn’t going to happen tonight. They ask the fans if they want to see Ambrose and Cena get their hands on Rollins. The fans of course agree so it’s Ambrose/Cena vs. Rollins/Kane/Orton tonight.
We recap Big Show’s apology on Smackdown for ripping down the Russian flag. Show has been undergoing sensitivity training and will be forced to listen to the Russians’ response tonight.
Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos/Dolph Ziggler
Before the match we get an inset promo from the Usos, imitating the Dusts’ weird stuff. Their tag line: bros before weirdos. Before the bell, the Dusts send Jey’s shoulder into the steps, giving us roughly the 4958th shoulder injury of the year. Stardust hammers away on Jey and the bad shoulder to start before it’s off to Goldust and then Cesaro to stay on the injury. The fans want Ziggler as Cole reads off a cryptic message from Goldust. Off to Jimmy who chops Cesaro down in the corner and hits the Running Umaga Attack. Everything breaks down and Cesaro throws Dolph into the steps as we take a break.
Back with Stardust holding Jey in an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Cesaro for Ziggler’s elbow. Jey finally escapes and makes the hot tag to Ziggler to fire up the fans. Dolph speeds things up and spins around Cesaro to grab a sleeper. Cesaro is in trouble but escapes, only to get caught by a Fameasser. Everything breaks down again and the Usos dive onto the Dusts. Back inside Cesaro nails Ziggler with an uppercut for two as Jimmy makes the save. Stardust comes in off a blind tag and gets two off a reverse DDT. A triple superkick knockd Stardust silly and the Superfly Splash from Jimmy gets the pin at 12:15.
Rating: C+. Good match here but I’m sick of seeing these combinations fight. It’s a solid choice for an opener and the triple superkick looked good. We’re getting the two title matches at Hell in a Cell, but could we have another way to build them up, or some different opponents for a change?
John Cena was on the Today Show earlier today to talk about breast cancer. Two of the hosts will be here next.
Here are Hoda and Kathy Lee (the fourth hour hosts of the Today Show) with as Rosebuds. The girls come out in Ric Flair style robes and get in the ring to sit in chairs and drink Kathy Lee champagne. They suck up to the fans a bit and Hoda does her “crazy dance”. They break bottles over each other and this is just dying. The girls fall onto the Rosebuds off the apron….very slowly. If there was ANY point to this, it went right over my head.
Luke Harper video. I believe it’s the same one from last week.
Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas
Henry lost to Dallas twice last week and has suffered an emotional breakdown after what happened with Rusev. Mark destroys him to start as you would expect and sends him into the announcers’ table. He tosses Bo into the barricade and loads up the table, only to have Dallas escape the World’s Strongest Slam and beat the count back in for the win at 1:50.
We recap the opening segment.
Here’s Ambrose to talk about not being thrilled with having Cena as his partner again tonight. We see a clip of Cena leaving him on Smackdown and Dean says he told Cena to not give him a reason to hate him. Ambrose wants Cena out here right now to talk about this and that’s exactly what he gets.
Cena takes a few mild jabs at the Brooklyn crowd’s response before talking about Ambrose diving on him earlier in the night. He says Ambrose understands his actions and leaves, but Dean says they don’t care about each other. If there’s one thing about each other, it’s that they don’t care what others think of them.
Maybe they can get along for one night, but Dean has no problem dropping Cena right now and fighting the Authority by himself. Cena gets back in and says Ambrose tried that already and got his head driven into cinder blocks. He likes that Ambrose does what he wants, but there are consequences for that. Cena says he can drop Ambrose right here and warns Dean not to give him a reason to not like him. Ambrose responds by saying he’s hungry and is going to Coney Island to grab a hot dog before leaving.
During the break, Ambrose left and got on a subway.
HHH comes up to Cena in the back. “Man, kids these days.” He basically laughs at Cena but John says he’s ready to go and will take out the Authority tonight. HHH likes his moxie and says Rollins will have to start the match tonight.
Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae
Brie is fighting with one arm tied behind her back like Nikki had to because this feud is still going. Summer kicks her a lot to start but a Layla distraction goes bad, allowing Brie to hit a running knee to the chest for the pin at 1:55.
Miz and Mizdow give Kane a fruit basket to apologize for their harsh words last week. Mizdow mouths every word Miz says a few seconds later. Kane doesn’t buy it and makes Miz vs. Sheamus for tonight. Mizdow takes the basket back.
Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd
Kidd is taken into the corner to start but flips out to escape. He heads outside and hides behind Natalya so he can kick Swagger in the face but Natalya isn’t pleased. Back in and a neckbreaker gets two on Jack before we hit the chinlock. Swagger shoves him down and hits a quick Vader Bomb before slapping on the Patriot Lock. Kidd rolls away and kicks him from the apron before telling Nattie to get out of his way. He goes up top but Swagger runs the corner and pulls Tyson down into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 3:09.
Rating: C-. This was around to set up Kidd and Nattie’s issues on Total Divas because that’s what Raw exists to do half the time anymore. At least Swagger got a clean win, despite it being in a near squash. Natalya was there more as a plot device than anything else and that’s all she needed to be here.
Edge and Christian’s Smackdown 15th Anniversary Special That Totally Reeks of Awesomeness airs on the Network after the show. The Canadians are in the studio to say the name and the Network price and that’s about it.
Roman Reigns is live via satellite and says he’ll be back sooner rather than later. This lasted about thirty seconds.
We recap Rollins costing Cena the title at Night of Champions.
El Torito vs. Mini Gator
Gator gets down on all fours and crawls after Torito, who mounts Horny (who else did you think it was?) and wraps him up with the cape. Fans: “THIS IS STUPID!” Heath gets in to try and help but gets Gator Rolled. Torito gores Titus off the apron and hits a top rope moonsault for the pin at 2:18.
We see Big Show apologizing again.
Ziggler is defending the Intercontinental Title tomorrow night on Main Event against Bo Dallas. Raw is for Hoda’s CRAZY DANCE though.
Here are Lana and Rusev for their usual bragging about Rusev and Putin. Rusev calls Big Show down but the big man is banned from wrestling tonight. Instead…..IT’S THE ROCK! Well that woke the fans up. Fans: “Holy ****!” Rock tells the Russians to know their role and shut their mouths.
This morning he woke up and went to the gym, but he doesn’t have his shorts up to his nipples like Rusev. Then he got on a jet and went to Queens, took a cab to Miami, went to Lana’s favorite place: the meat packing district, swam across the river to Staten Island and took the train to the Bronx so he could pay respect to the Captain Derek Jeter. That left him with one more borough to go to, so he crossed a certain bridge, went down Atlantic Avenue and came up to the Barclays Center and climbed into this ring in front of the millions and millions so he can say FINALLY the Rock has come back to Brooklyn.
Lana asks who Rock thinks he is and tells him to shut up. Rock: “And you need to stop dressing like a Soviet street walker.” Rusev warns Rock to leave or face getting crushed. Rock makes fun of his breath and tells Lana she’s beautiful in person, but she looks like someone shoved a Smirnoff bottle up her Putin.
As for Rusev, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. There’s a reason no one has been able to beat Rusev: he’s bigger, stronger and faster than most people in the back. However, the fans boo the Russians because they’re jerks to everyone else. Rusev takes off his medal and the fight is on with Rock easily dispatching Rusev.
Cole tries to talk about what’s going on tonight as Rock walks around ringside celebrating. He even goes into the crowd to hug some girls who can’t seem to stand up. Thankfully they keep the camera on him instead of going to recaps.
AJ Lee/Emma vs. Paige/Alicia Fox
I haven’t heard the fans go from a roar for one half of a tag team to dead silence like they did with AJ and Emma in years. AJ shoves Alicia around to start befor eit’s off to Emma for her marching. Fox sends her through the ropes but Emma hangs on and flips forward to kick Fox in the face. A dancing cradle gets two and AJ looks very confused. The Tarantula has Fox in trouble and the Emma Sandwich crushes her. Emma dances even more and AJ has had enough and walks out. The distraction lets Paige superkick Emma and nail the Rampaige for the pin at 2:48.
Video on Erick Rowan being set free just like Harper. Bray says they shall feel the smoke of his burning. We see what looks to be a pregnant woman’s stomach with the words “It’s coming” written on it.
Happy Birthday Bruno Sammartino.
Miz vs. Sheamus
Non-title. Miz takes him into the corner to start and snaps Sheamus’ throat over the top rope as the fans chant for Mizdow. Sheamus gets in a right hand to the ribs to stop Miz coming off the top but charges into a boot in the corner. He shakes off a Skull Crushing Finale attempt though and we take a break.
Back with Miz holding a chinlock before hammering away in the corner again. Miz puts on a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat as the fans think Mizdow is better. Sheamus fights out of the hold and loads up the Brogue Kick but Mizdow pulls Miz to safety. The Brogue Kick knocks Mizdow off the apron but Miz grabs a rollup for the pin at 10:12.
Rating: C-. Miz was more aggressive here and I like that he’s getting to do stuff, but did we need to pin ANOTHER champion, especially when he isn’t doing anything in the first place? Miz would probably be a better choice for the title right now but I’d like them to have a better way to get there.
Recap of Hogan’s speech last week. He hates breast cancer too you know.
Lawler introduces Joan Lunden (from the Today Show. Not that WWE says that), who is going through breast cancer. The fans are silent but at least applaud when she says she’s not giving up. There are a bunch of cancer survivors at ringside and each one gets an individual introduction. Cena comes out to hug her and that’s that.
One of the Real Housewives of Atlanta is going to be on Raw next week.
Edge and Christian still don’t have much to say.
John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins/Kane
Cena conducts the fans singing JOHN CENA SUCKS. I kind of like that he embraces it so much. Rollins has to start and the bell rings after 11pm because we needed to talk about cancer. Seth tags out to Kane less than thirty seconds in. Cena goes after Kane but keeps lunging at Rollins. The Authority beats him down and Rollins finally comes in, only to get punched in the face a few times. A Blockbuster puts Cena down for two but he lifts Seth up for the AA. Kane kicks Cena in the face to break it up and that’s the quick DQ at 4:33.
Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I’m so glad we had this match cut short for middle aged women dancing and a journalist from something not important enough to mention. That’s what Raw is all about anymore unfortunately, along with Authority vs. Cena/Ambrose ending in a DQ finish.
Post match Ambrose comes out carrying a Coney Island food cart. He pulls back his jacket to reveal ketchup and mustard holsters to spray on Kane and Orton. Cena AA’s Orton but he and Kane clothesline each other down. Ambrose beats Rollins up with various food iteams and tongs his crotch. Kane gets back up but takes an AA of his own. Cena and Ambrose are left in the ring and here are HHH and Stephanie with something to make the rumored matches for HIAC. It’s Cena vs. Ambrose with the winner facing Rollins in the Cell later that night. Ambrose DDTs Cena to the loudest non-Rock pop of the night to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show was running with an anchor. There was a lot of good stuff here with the Rock’s appearance and the three way feud being gold, but dear goodness they tried their best to bring it down. Between HODA’S CRAZY DANCE to talking about cancer to the stupid bull vs. gator stuff, it’s like they were making an active attempt to get the fans ticked off. There’s so much good in WWE right now and so many bright spots on the horizon that I want to love it but the bad stuff is just SO bad that it’s crippling a lot of the good.
Results
Usos/Dolph Ziggler b. Stardust/Goldust/Cesaro – Superfly Splash to Stardust
Bo Dallas b. Mark Henry via countout
Jack Swagger b. Tyson Kidd – Patriot Lock
El Torito b. Mini Gator – Moonsault
Paige/Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee/Emma – Rampaige to Emma
Miz b. Sheamus – Rollup
John Cena b. Randy Orton/Kane/Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane and Rollins attacked Cena
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – October 8, 2014: Dean Ambrose Talks About A Bunny
Smackdown Date: October 3, 2014
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Todd Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield
The Ambrose/Cena vs. Authority feud is picking up steam and that’s a good thing so far. It looks like they’re also setting up Ambrose vs. Cena which should be a solid match if they don’t have Cena beat him and call it a rub. Hopefully they keep up the trend of not having a ton of recaps tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Ambrose giving away shirts and sliming Rollins.
Here’s a fired up Cena with something to say. He talks about how different people refer to Milwaukee in different ways but Cena sees it as the place that is ready for Smackdown. This brings him to Ambrose who wants to beat up Rollins just like he does. He talks about the loss at Summerslam and having the worst beating of his life. Everyone from Michael Cole to his family wanted him to hang it up but he had to fight Lesnar one more time.
He got that chance at Night of Champions but Seth Rollins had to take his chance to become the future of the WWE. Well if that’s what Seth wants, he can do it tonight right here in the ring. Cena doesn’t want the briefcase or the contract as long as he can get his hands on Rollins tonight. Instead he gets Ambrose, who says he has his own issues with the Authority and Seth Rollins, but he’s going to work those out by making Rollins pay. Cena says he doesn’t want to do this with Ambrose and Dean says that’s right.
However, Cena got in his way on Monday and that’s not cool. Cena brings up Night of Champions again but Ambrose says that was one night while he almost lost his entire career. John says there’s no reason for them to keep going after each other when they both want the same things. He offers a truce and says whoever gets to Rollins first gets to him first.
Dean isn’t sure about shaking hands when the Authority pops up on screen. Orton talks about how the two of them deserve each other and brings up what Ambrose used to say about Cena when he was in the Shield. Apparently Cena is full of himself and can’t wrestle his way out of a box of cereal. Cena on the other hand said Ambrose is only getting over by pretending to be crazy. Kane thinks it doesn’t matter though because it’s going to be Cena and Ambrose vs. Orton and himself tonight. So glad I watched that Raw main event this week.
Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow
Sheamus takes Miz into the corner to start but misses a big right hand. Cole keeps talking about Mizdow vs. Sheamus from last night as Sheamus slams Damien for two. Sheamus sends him out to the apron and takes out Miz before hitting a few forearms to the stunt double. That’s fine with Sheamus as he dives off the top with a double clothesline.
We take a break and come back with Miz hitting a Reality Check for two on Sheamus before tagging Mizdow. Damien stomps away for two of his own and it’s very quickly back to Miz. Sheamus plows him down with a clothesline and makes the hot tag to Ziggler to clean house. The running DDT gets two on Mizdown and a dropkick gets the same. Sheamus and Miz fight on the floor until Miz nails him in the ribs with a chair. Not that it matters as the Zig Zag is good for the pin on Damien at 8:28.
Rating: D. This really didn’t do anything for me as it was the champions dominating for most of the match, shrugging off all of the heels’ offense and then beating Mizdow with ease. The problem with an act like Miz and Mizdow is there’s nothing to fear. Miz’s big move is the Figure Four which has won him one match in over a year and that was in NXT. Sandow….has he ever won anything with that full nelson slam? Why would two World Champions be afraid of that?
Sheamus swings the chair at Miz post match but has to lay out Sandow instead.
Luke Harper video from Raw.
Long recap of Henry/Big Show/Rusev including the Russian flag being ripped down. WWE already officially apologized because Heaven forbid anyone ever get even slightly offended by anything. They had to know this sort of reaction was coming. Either do the angle and don’t apologize or don’t do it at all. It makes WWE look like a five year old admitting to stealing cookies.
Paige vs. Naomi
Paige quickly takes her down into a chinlock before cranking on both arms at the same time. Back up and Naomi snaps off a headscissors to send Paige to the apron. Alicia Fox tries to help Paige to the floor but Naomi dives onto the new best friend. It goes badly for her though as Paige kicks Naomi in the head and hooks the PTO for the submission at 1:43.
Post match AJ hits the ring and beats up Fox as Paige bails to hide behind JBL. Putting his hat on doesn’t really work for her.
Here’s Big Show in a suit to address the flag deal on Raw. He talks about holding himself accountable for his actions and officially apologizes to the Russian people for what happened. The fans aren’t pleased but here are Rusev and Lana to interrupt. Lana says WWE and Big Show apologizing doesn’t appease them because they want a personal apology.
Big Show reiterates his apology to the Russian people but not to Lana and Rusev. We get more English from Rusev who accuses Big Show of wiping his nose on the flag. He nails Rusev with the flag and drops him with the jumping superkick. Show gets up and the Russians bail. This segment made me feel better about this as it feels like the apology was intended to be a plot point and not WWE cowering away from any criticism.
Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil vs. Usos
Hornswoggle Gator is at ringside. Jey takes Slater into the corner to start but misses a charge and gets kicked in the face. Cue the Bunny to hop over Hornswoggle and send him face first into the post. The distraction lets the Usos hit stereo superkicks and a triple splash (the Bunny dives on Horny) is enough for the pin at 1:45. This is setting up Horny vs. the Bunny isn’t it?
WWE still hates breast cancer.
Ambrose talks about how he embarrassed Rollins on Monday and that’s a lot worse than a beating. He’ll go through everyone from Kane to Orton to the Gator to the Bunny to get his hands on Seth Rollins.
Cesaro vs. R-Truth
This is due to Cesaro making jokes about Ziggler earlier tonight and Truth calling him an unfunny nincompoop. Before the match Truth makes sure he has the town right and Cole thankfully explains the joke. That’s not sarcasm for once as that line wouldn’t might not have made sense to a lot of fans. Cesaro hammers Truth down with European uppercuts and a gutwrench suplex. Truth’s comeback goes as well as you would expect before the Neutralizer ends him at 2:12.
The Dusts are in the back and I believe this is the same vignette from Raw. The belts are the Cosmic Key and the rest is science fiction.
Bob Uecker is here.
Hulk Hogan hates breast cancer.
Kane/Randy Orton vs. John Cena/Dean Ambrose
Orton and Ambrose get things going with Dean quickly taking him down for a basement clothesline and two. Off to Kane vs. Cena for the power showdown and our resident hero takes over with right hands. Dean comes back in for the running dropkick against the ropes before clotheslining Orton down as well. An STF attempt from Cena doesn’t work but a belly to belly gets two on Randy. Ambrose dives on both Authority members and we take a break.
Back with Kane nailing a big boot for two on Ambrose and bringing Randy in again. Randy stomps away and sends Ambrose outside before whipping him into the steps. They head back inside and Dean nails a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down. Kane breaks up a hot tag and we hit the chinlock.
Dean quickly fights up by biting the hand before getting punched into the Rebound Clothesline. As he’s inches away from the hot tag, Rollins comes down the aisle and Cena drops down to go after him. Ambrose is left alone and gets caught in the Elevated DDT for two. Dirty Deeds is broken up and Kane kicks Dean’s head off. The double teaming is enough for a lame DQ at 13:13.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive is it going to kill the Authority to have Kane lose a fall? Just mixing up how they get disqualified isn’t enough to make things interesting. Ambrose and Cena fighting should get interesting, but I hope Dean doesn’t start yelling about Cena leaving him in a handicap match like Nikki Bella has been doing.
Ambrose gets beaten down even more until Cena finally makes the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This was one of the most worthless shows I can remember in a long time. There were five matches, three of which combined to be less than six minutes long. Other than that there was a segment to build up to Big Show losing another big match and the same main event we saw on Raw. This was a worthless two hours of TV with some dull matches wrapped around three matches that didn’t go long enough to rate. Nothing to see here.
Results
Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Zig Zag to Mizdow
Paige b. Naomi – PTO
Usos b. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil – Double Superfly Splash
Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer
John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Orton and Kane double teamed Ambrose
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 29, 2014
At this point it’s pretty clear that Lesnar isn’t going to be defending the title at Hell in a Cell and at the end of the day, that’s probably the best thing they could do right now. Lesnar vs. Cena is a good feud but they need to give it a chance to breathe instead of just doing it over and over again to diminishing results. Instead we have Cena and Ambrose vs. the Authority which is a very nice option and far better than what we were sitting through at this point last year. Let’s get to it.
We opened with the Authority in the ring and Stephanie actually acknowledging the CM Punk chants in Chicago. They had to do something like that as the fans just want attention more than anything else. Heyman can out and had a chat with Rollins but not a lot was said. This felt like a way to distract the fans, because Heaven forbid we have a hot match to catch their attention because we need to have the twenty minute talking segment to open things up.
After all that was over, Rollins said he wanted the briefcase back because it has some personal items inside. Remember that as it’s going to be brought up later. Ambrose popped up on screen and said if Rollins wanted the briefcase, all he had to do was come and get it. This wasn’t the best opening segment in the world and it had the same problem most of them have: they spent twenty minutes to accomplish what could have been done in ten.
WWE doesn’t like breast cancer. This is the first of at least three times they would explain this.
HHH sent agents Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble to get the briefcase back. Those two as the new Patterson and Brisco is a fine idea. They wouldn’t find Ambrose until he came to the ring but apparently Jamie ate a hotdog at the concession stand. I can go with this going forward.
Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title in a fast paced triple threat along with Cesaro and Miz. This was a good match with everyone moving around and Ziggler superkicking Cesaro to steal a pin on Miz. They can keep up the idea that Cesaro hasn’t gotten pinned clean yet and has a rematch coming to him. It’s like they’re building an actual division with progressing stories. That’s a VERY welcome change and something that could help the product quite a bit.
We get a Wyatt Family video which said Harper was free. This sounds like a way to split up the team and I’d prefer it over a fight. Bray could use some freshening up anyway.
Layla beat Rosa Mendes while Tyson Kidd messed with his phone. This is your Total Divas match and the first of three Divas matches tonight.
The big segment of the show was Ambrose coming to the ring with a bag and the briefcase. He offered to give away all the shirts because he didn’t like the prices on them. After throwing them into the crowd, the agents came in and tried to get the case back. This gave Ambrose the great line of “they’re sending the cruiserweight division after me?” Security came out (“weren’t you Rosebuds last week?”) and Ambrose left the case. Rollins opened it up and got covered with green slime. The look on Dean’s face was outstanding and sold the whole thing.
I’ve heard people calling this the segment that made Ambrose a star but that’s going a bit too far. This was very entertaining for one reason above all others: it was different. Those fourth wall jokes were funny and it made Ambrose feel like an outsider instead of the same old comedy guys. I remember JR talking about how bad comedy in wrestling can be if it’s not natural. With Dean, it felt natural and not like the script said “comedy segment here”. It’s definitely good though and the showdown in the Cell is going to be great.
Bo Dallas interrupted Mark Henry’s latest apology and beat him in about a minute. Henry destroyed Dallas in the back after a break.
Goldust and Stardust confirmed the Tag Team Titles were the Cosmic Key. Nothing else to see here.
Nikki and Brie did their usual argument and Brie had to face Cameron and Eva Marie in a handicap match. Amazingly enough, a former Divas Champion was able to beat a girl with maybe an hour combined ring time and a girl who doesn’t know how to make a proper cover. Nikki whining about having to be in a handful of handicap matches is really wearing thin and isn’t going to sell a big match between the Bellas.
Time for COMEDY with Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil beating Los Matadores. There was a bull, a gator and a Bunny involved. I can live with the Bunny because it’s showing off but the rest of the stuff was stupid. Again though, to people calling this the worst segment ever, I’d point out that the match wasn’t even three minutes long.
Rusev and Lana came out to yell at Big Show. The giant came out and ripped down the Russian flag. Naturally WWE issued an official apology about this because HEAVEN FORBID anyone get offended over something that is going to be forgotten after about thirty seconds. I’m complaining about this apology offending me. Where’s my official apology from WWE? I’m offended by how pathetic it is that people get offended by everything anymore. I WANT AN APOLOGY AND OFFICIAL STATEMENT! I MIGHT TELL PEOPLE TO PROTEST THE SHOW AND THAT MEANS THE STOCKHOLDERS MIGHT GET TICKED OFF!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!
Yeah I think some political correctness is stupid. Why do you ask?
Cena and Ambrose had a brief staredown in the back and tension was teased. They both want to beat up Rollins though.
Alicia Fox is Paige’s new best friend and beat AJ Lee in a nothing match. It’s better than repeating the same matches over and over again.
Sheamus beat Damien Sandow in another nothing match that doesn’t seem to set up anything.
Hulk Hogan doesn’t like cancer.
Stephanie told Kane and Orton that she doesn’t care about their complaints. Tension is being teased here.
Cena and Ambrose beat Orton and Kane when Rollins interfered. There was nothing to the match and it was your standard main event tag. Rollins gave both heroes curb stomps onto the briefcase to end the show.
This show was the standard Raw Special: it would have been great if it only lasted two hours, but the extra hour drags it down. The cancer stuff is going to get old in a hurry and comes off like more of a publicity stunt than anything else. Thank goodness we have another month of WWE saying CANCER SUCKS because they might come off as pro-cancer otherwise.
The wrestling wasn’t anything special but as usual they have a lot of good stuff coming up in the future. The problem though is them screwing up all of the upcoming stuff instead of it actually paying off. Or if nothing else they might have to worry about offending someone and apologizing for logical storylines. Again, either step on some toes or be perfect schoolchildren that don’t offend anyone and listen to the complaints that come with it. Pick something and stick with it though. Not a great show this week but it had its moments.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – September 29, 2014: Dean Ambrose Is A Samoan
Monday Night Raw Date: September 29, 2014
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM….sorry just getting ready for the crowd later in the show. The main story at the moment seems to be the new Super Best Friends of John Cena and Dean Ambrose facing off with the Authority as Roman Reigns is out injured. There’s no sign of Brock Lesnar and it doesn’t look like he’s going to be at Hell in a Cell. That opens up some doors for interesting pay per view matches. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Authority vs. Cena and Ambrose last week.
Here are Stephanie and HHH as the announcers hype up the annual pink theme for breast cancer. The fans chant for CM Punk and Stephanie asks why the fans chant for quitters. It’s because they’re quitters themselves and would love to just quit their jobs when things get serious. Stephanie quickly switches over to Ambrose stealing the briefcase on Friday, which means nothing because the contract inside belongs to Rollins. This defiance of the Authority will not be tolerated.
This brings out Paul Heyman for his usual catchphrases and to talk about how close Cena got to becoming champion. Rollins got close as well, but how dare he try to cash in on Brock Lesnar with a curb stomp. Stephanie gets in his face but here’s Seth Rollins to interrupt. He doesn’t really apologize for what he did, but says everyone in the ring is glad Cena isn’t champion again.
Rollins wants to become champion by beating the best, which is clearly Brock Lesnar. Heyman isn’t cool with this so Rollins says Brock should see it as a compliment because it shows Brock is the best. Paul goes to leave but HHH stops him. They stare each other down but HHH just shakes his hand and says thanks for the talk.
This brings Rollins to Ambrose, who better return the briefcase and the personal property inside. If he doesn’t return it, the cinder blocks will look like nothing. Dean pops up on screen and holds up the case in the back, saying if Rollins wants it back he should just come and get it. The three head up the ramp but Cena runs out and jumps Rollins. Seth bails into the crowd, leaving Cena in the ring.
WWE doesn’t like breast cancer.
After a break, the Authority is in the back with some agents. HHH sends Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury to get the briefcase.
Intercontinental Title: Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz
Ziggler is defending after beating Miz for the title last week. Cesaro had a title shot on Smackdown and got pinned with his hands in the ropes. The challengers go after Dolph in the corner to start but get in a quick argument over who gets to try for the pin. Cesaro suplexes Miz down for two but Miz clotheslines the power guy down, sending Dolph into the corner. Miz gets gorilla pressed but Ziggler dropkicks Cesaro down, leaving Miz to crash onto the mat as we take a break.
Back with Miz sliding through Cesaro’s legs but Ziggler grabs a rollup instead. Everyone rolls up everyone for two until Ziggler DDTs both guys down at the same time. Another DDT to Miz and a neckbreaker to Cesaro get two on the Hollywood guy and send Cesaro out to the floor. Mizdow trips the champion and earns a baseball slide for his efforts. A sunset flip gets two on Miz but he comes back with a Figure Four attempt.
Cesaro nails Miz with an uppercut and tries a sunset flip of his own but Ziggler pulls on Cesaro’s legs, sending him head first into Miz’s crotch. Dolph throws Miz in the Figure Four but Cesaro makes the save with a double stomp. Miz goes up top but dives into the uppercut, only to have Ziggler superkick Cesaro and pin Miz to retain at 11:48.
Rating: C+. They did some different stuff in there and the match worked better than I was expecting it to. I’m digging this whole “having a division” thing as there are a lot of people who can feud over the title and have good matches like this instead of just doing aimless stuff. As usual I don’t expect it to last but it’s nice to see.
Mizdow is holding his knee just like Miz in a nice touch.
Mercury and Noble go Ambrose hunting but find the Rosebuds, Big E. and Great Khali instead.
WWE still hates breast cancer.
We get a freaky video from the Wyatts which keeps jumping all over the place and talking about finding someone after everyone was told he was gone. Bray asks what you give someone who has lost everything. He fixed someone and now he’s being sent out on his own. It seems like they’re talking about Harper. Luke says he’s piecing himself back together with pieces of you. Bray says Harper is set free. Harper gets close to the camera and says you’re doomed.
The Authority yells at Mercury and Noble for not being able to find Ambrose and possibly stopping for a hamburger. If they don’t find him, they’re fired. The new Stooges leave and Miz and Mizdow come in instead. Mizdow talks for Miz and complains about the rematch for the Intercontinental Title being a triple threat. HHH cuts them off and gives Mizdow a match with Sheamus and threatens to fire Miz.
Layla vs. Rosa Mendes
Tyson Kidd is at ringside messing with his phone because he and Natalya (also at ringside) are having marital problems. Layla takes Rosa down and grabs a chinlock until Rosa fires back with forearms. Rosa’s hair extensions fall out and Layla knocks her to the floor, triggering a brawl between Summer and Natalya. Kidd has no idea any of this is going on. Back in and the Layout beats Rosa at 2:58.
Natalya takes Tyson’s phone post match.
Ambrose is in the back with the briefcase and a bag.
Here’s Ambrose with the bag and briefcase in the arena. He throws in a table and sets the briefcase on top, saying he’s been at the concession stand. The agents came in but they were busy eating and didn’t see him wave. However, that’s not what he’s talking about here. Dean doesn’t like the way the Authority runs their merchandise stands so tonight we’re having a Dean Ambrose sale, but the briefcase isn’t for sale tonight.
Dean throws a bag of t-shirts on the table and says he’ll sell it for a dollar. First up is a Cena shirt for a dollar and a Sheamus shirt for a quarter. This brings out Mercury and Noble (Dean: “They sent the cruiserweight division after me?”) to ask for the briefcase. Ambrose says that’s fine but they have to come in and get it. The guys back away so Ambrose starts throwing the shirts into the crowd for free.
The agents come back with Rollins and security as Dean runs out of shirts. Dean: “Are you real security? I could have sworn you were Rosebuds last week.” Ambrose backs away into the crowd as Rollins finally gets up on the apron. Rollins opens the briefcase and green slime sprays on him. Dean’s “look what I did!” face is great stuff. He swears he had nothing to do with it and Seth freaks out.
After a break, Seth is complaining to the Authority that he could be blinded. Rollins is sent to the trainer and HHH makes Kane and Orton vs. Ambrose and Cena. Orton doesn’t like having to fight Rollins’ battles again. A phone ring and they’re not sure whose it is. It turns out that it’s in the briefcase and Rollins runs back in to say it’s an electric razor. Was that a vibrator joke?
Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He starts apologizing to the fans for last week when Bo Dallas interrupts. Bo says Henry should apologize to himself instead of the people. It’s time to close the Hall of Pain and join the Hall of Bolievers. Being a Boliever means never having to say you’re sorry.
Bo Dallas vs. Mark Henry
Henry hammers away to start and pounds Bo into the corner, only to miss the Vader Bomb. A Bodog gives Dallas the pin at 1:45. JBL treats this like a huge upset.
In the back after a break, Bo says he won because he Bolieved. Henry attacks him from behind and crushes him with an anvil case a few times. Dallas is out cold. Henry says that’s what he does. That came off like a heel turn.
Network hype.
The Dusts are in the back looking at a crystal ball with electric lights going through it. Stardust looks at a chalkboard and babbles about various things. Stardust comes in and says the titles are the Cosmic Key and they determine their fates. Everything else is science fiction and Stardust shoves the ball away. The belts are science fact.
Brie Bella is here for a match when Nikki comes in to remind Brie that she quit in this building. Nikki yells at her for quitting for Bryan, starting a quick YES chant. That went so well for Brie because Bryan is still sitting at home. Nikki says Brie did it for the cheers and brings up all the handicap matches she was in for about the 1000th time. Tonight Brie gets her own handicap match.
Brie Bella vs. Cameron/Eva Marie
Brie takes Eva down with ease because she’s a former Divas Champion and Eva has had about an hour of career ring time. Cameron gets kicked off the apron but Eva gets in a few shots of her own. Off to Cameron for two off a snap suplex and the fans start chanting for JBL. Brie fights out of the corner and now the fans are chanting for Cole. Cameron is sent into Eva and Brie gets a rollup for the pin at 2:57. Thank goodness they got out of there as fast as they did.
WWE still hates breast cancer.
Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil vs. Los Matadores
The Rosebuds are at ringside and Rose is on commentary with the Bunny at his side. Slater and Titus bring out Hornswoggle in an alligator outfit. Reverend Jesse Jackson is n the front row. O’Neil slams Diego down to start as JBL asks if Rose and the bunny listen to hip hop. Slater allows Diego to tag out to Fernando who cleans house until Hornswoggle comes in for a distraction, allowing Slater to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:42.
Torito and Hornswoggle have their showdown but Rose makes a save. Titus is low bridged to the floor and Los Matadores drop Slater, allowing the Bunny to hit a splash.
Here are Rusev and Lana to brag about beating up Big Show on Friday, only to have Big Show attack him with a right hand. This brings out Big Show who says everything said about Putin is a bunch of garbage. He brings up A Few Good Men for some reason by saying Lana can’t handle the truth.
We get the an unedited package on Big Show standing up for Henry and Rusev attacking Show with the Russian flag on Friday. Rusev says he wants to pull out Big Show’s guts and kick him in the groin. He’ll break every bone in Big Show’s body but Big Show says we don’t speak Russian. Big Show hits the ring and the Russians bail. He slowly goes over to the Russian flag and rips it down to a big reaction. Rusev finally gets back in and is thrown right back to the floor.
We recap Ambrose, Rollins and the briefcase from earlier tonight.
Cena says this is his kind of town and is glad he doesn’t have to face Dean Ambrose. They both want Seth Rollins and Dean pops up behind Cena and Renee. Cena asks if Dean would like to add something. Dean: “Not really.” They get in an argument over who gets to beat up Rollins and Dean says not even Cena can take food off his plate.
Alicia Fox vs. AJ Lee
Paige introduces Alicia as her new best friend. In a throwaway line before the match, Cole says the WWE Network will launch in the UK on November 1, not October 1 as they announced for months. AJ sends Fox to the floor to start before hitting a plancha to take both evil girls down. Back in and Paige offers a distraction so Alicia can get in a quick ax kick for the pin at 1:35.
Paige gives AJ the Rampaige post match and Alicia drops soda on her. She doesn’t open the cans or anything but just drops them.
Harper video again.
Sheamus vs. Damien Mizdow
Non-title and Miz is on commentary. Sheamus takes Mizdow down with a headlock to start but the stunt double escapes the ten forearms to the chest. Back in and Sheamus gets annoyed when Mizdow punches him so the beating is on in the corner. Mizdow comes back with Miz’s short DDT and drives some forearms to the pale head. Sheamus shrugs it off and hits the ten forearms before sending Mizdow out to the floor. The champ follows and sends Mizdow into Miz before taking him back inside for the Brogue Kick and the pin at 5:30.
Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and the step helped a lot actually. Mizdow isn’t going to be anything more than a comedy guy but at least he was able to get in a little offense of his own. They’re getting somewhere with the characters but a third person added to the mix might help.
Here’s a pink Hulk Hogan with something to say. He talks about breast cancer awareness month and says he’s turned in the red and yellow to go pink. There are a bunch of breast cancer survivors here and they’re the real heroes. We can buy gear at WWEshop.com to help fight breast cancer and it’s time for catchphrases.
Kane and Orton complain about having to take care of Rollins’ problems when Stephanie comes in and tells them to get over it. The people have been saying Orton and Kane have gone soft and lost their killer instinct. Kane asks if the people are saying that or if it’s just Stephanie. She wants to know if it really matters and that’s that.
Preview of the new episode of Monday Night War debuting after Raw. We saw this earlier.
Reigns will be here for an interview next week. Big Show vs. Rusev as well.
John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. Kane/Randy Orton
Cena vs. Orton to start of course and the fans are already dueling. John takes over with a quick bulldog but Kane gets in a shot from the apron to take over as we go to our last break. Back with Orton getting two on Cena off what looked like the powerslam but having the RKO countered. He has to settle for the backbreaker instead but Cena is up at two. Kane comes in for a nerve hold and we actually look at Rollins being slimed twice during the hold.
Back to Orton for a chinlock as the dueling Cena chants begin. A big backdrop puts Orton on the floor and Cena does the big dramatic crawl to Ambrose before diving over for the tag. Ambrose speeds up with a pair of dives to the Authority before throwing Orton back in. Randy kicks him into the Rebound Clothesline and Dirty Deeds gets two on as Rollins runs in for the DQ at 11:47.
Rating: C-. The match was the usual boring stuff and you knew Rollins was going to interfere. I’ll give them this though: they’ve done a good job at putting Ambrose straight into Reigns’ spot and making it work. You can picture Reigns having the same promos and matches as Ambrose (well maybe not the sarcastic stuff) and it still works. Reigns will be fine when he gets back but maybe Ambrose can get a rocket strapped to his back in Reigns’ absence.
Dean fights Rollins off and dives at Kane, only to leave it short. Thankfully he pops back up and helps Cena corner Rollins in the ring. The heroes get in a fight over who gets to beat up Rollins though and Dean sends Cena out to the floor. Orton nails an RKO on Ambrose and Kane adds a chokeslam. Rollins plants Dean with a curb stomp onto the briefcase. Cena comes in for a save but eats an RKO and chokeslam of his own. A curb stomp sends Cena into the briefcase (Fans: “THANK YOU ROLLINS!”) and a bunch of replays end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This is what I’ve dubbed the Raw Special: a show that would have been awesome if they cut an hour, but as all the extra stuff thrown in there really drags it down. Between the THREE Divas matches and countless backstage segments with the Authority saying the same thing over and over to WWE REALLY HATES BREAST CANCER AND YOU SHOULD BUY OUR SHIRTS SO WE CAN GIVE THEM LIKE A PENNY EACH, the show felt way longer than it should have.
That being said, there were good things going on here. First of all, most of the bad matches were kept short and there was some good energy to a lot of the stuff. The Ambrose segment was really entertaining and felt like something different, which is what they need more than anything in the main event. We might even be heading towards Cena vs. Ambrose in the Cell, which could lead to Ambrose vs. Rollins. Maybe in the same night inside the Cell with Ambrose getting his big win?
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Miz and Cesaro – Ziggler pinned Miz after an uppercut from Cesaro
Layla b. Rosa Mendes – Layout
Bo Dallas b. Mark Henry – Bodog
Brie Bella b. Cameron/Eva Marie – Rollup to Cameron
Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil b. Los Matadores – Rollup to Fernando
Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee – Ax kick
Sheamus b. Damien Mizdow – Brogue Kick
John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – September 26, 2014: Why Do I Not Believe Them?
Smackdown Date: September 26, 2014
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Things are in a state of flux right now with Roman Reigns out of the picture for the time being, leaving Dean Ambrose to take his spot. Dean has already been dealing with Cena, which puts him in about as big a spot as you could ask for. Ambrose still needs to rack up some wins though so hopefully that starts tonight. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with a recap of the events from Raw with Ambrose, Cena and the Authority.
Dean Ambrose vs. Miz
This is due to Ambrose attacking Miz on MizTV on Main Event. Miz bails to the floor to start before getting caught in a headlock and rollup for two. Ambrose sends him outside again but chases after him this time, eventually taking him down in the ring and hammering away. Miz begs him not in the face so Dean rakes at the Moneymaker. A bad looking Reality Check gets two for Miz and he stomps away as the fans are all behind Dean.
Ambrose comes right back with a dropkick to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big plancha. Mizdow offers a distraction though and Miz takes over as we take a break. Back with Dean blocking the corner clothesline with a forearm to the face. Cole actually gives us an explanation for how Dean got out of the room on Raw: “He went out the back door.”
Dean sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive before a tornado DDT gets two. A missile dropkick is countered into the Figure Four but Dean is right by the ropes. The Rebound Clothesline drops Miz but here are Rollins and Kane for a distraction. Thankfully Dean is too smart for that and hits Dirty Deeds for the pin at 10:13.
Rating: C-. The match was fine and Dean getting a clean pin over a former World Champion is nothing but good for him right now. Miz isn’t exactly John Cena but he’s a guy that Dean should be beating like this. Also how nice is it that a good guy comes off looking smart for a change? Nice enough match.
The Authority comes in for the beatdown but Ambrose fights both of them off and runs off with the briefcase.
Stardust and Goldust are all insane and say the Gemini Usos can’t have the Tag Team Titles. The rematch is tonight.
Battle Royal
Cesaro, Heath Slater, Diego, Titus O’Neil, Fernando, Bo Dallas, Zack Ryder, Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, Damien Mizdow, Justin Gabriel, Jack Swagger, Big E.
The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot later tonight. Fernando is quickly tossed out and Bo dumps Cara. Cesaro tosses Diego but the new Nation can’t eliminate Dallas. Instead Kofi low bridges Gabriel out before Cesaro dumps Woods. Big E. has the power battle with Cesaro and is lifted up in a very impressive gorilla press. Titus breaks it up for no apparent reason so Cesaro lifts him up, only to have Big E. return the save. Cesaro is tired of all this and just muscles Big E. out.
We take a break and come back with no eliminations during the break. Titus and Ryder fight on the ropes and Zack gets tossed. Swagger eliminates Titus a few seconds later, leaving us with Cesaro, Slater, Swagger, Dallas, Mizdow and Kingston. Swagger throws Heath out and everyone surrounds Mizdow. The big beatdown is on and Mizdow is quickly out.
Kofi gets thrown over the top but skins the cat to pull Dallas to the apron with him. A kick to the head is enough to eliminate Bo as Swagger hits the Vader Bomb on Cesaro. Kofi tries to come back in with a hurricanrana but Jack catches him and drops Kofi into the opposite corner. Another Vader Bomb is blocked by Cesaro to send Swagger to the apron. Kofi hits a springboard shot to Jack’s head but has to save himself from Cesaro. Swagger gets back in but Cesaro throws Kofi at Swagger to eliminate both guys for the win at 11:25.
Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and thankfully they kept things moving with only about eight minutes shown on TV. Cesaro is becoming a beast in these battle royals which could become a thing for him going forward. Also those displays of strength of his are hard to ignore with the gorilla presses and ending sequence being very impressive.
Network talk.
The Usos have everything ready to get their titles back.
Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust
The Dusts are defending in a rematch from Night of Champions. We get some big match intros and start with Jey and Stardust. A rollup gets a quick two for Jey and he slams Stardust down before sending him outside. Goldust is sent outside as well, setting up the double dive from the Usos as we take a break. Back with what looks like a hot tag to Jey who backdrops Goldust for two. Jey is sent into the buckle and out to the floor so Stardust can get in a few cheap shots of his own. Stardust: “WHERE’S THE KING???” Back in with Goldust dropping an elbow and cranking on the arm.
Jey loses his shirt and gets beaten on even more until he nails a forearm to drop Stardust. Goldust gets backdropped to the floor but he charges back in to a Samoan drop. The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house with a t-bone suplex to Stardust. The superkick misses though and Stardust sends him to the floor. Goldust tries a dive but the Usos catch him and toss him into the barricade. Stardust dives backwards onto both of them and all four are down. Back in and the Usos nail a Doomsday Device of all things on Stardust. Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash but Goldust comes in with the title belt for the DQ at 10:13.
Rating: C+. These teams have good chemistry and the match was working here. It sets up a third match, likely at the PPV, which should be just as good as this with extra time. The Usos are getting close to being a great team and having opponents like this and the Wyatts are only going to make them better.
We recap Ambrose stealing the briefcase.
Rollins is ticked off but Kane says the briefcase doesn’t matter because it’s all about the contract. Seth gets that but says if the briefcase isn’t returned, the cinder blocks will look like child’s play.
Layla/Summer Rae vs. Natalya/Rosa Mendes
Summer runs from Natalya to start so it’s quickly off to Layla. They trade rollups and Layla has to kick away from the Sharpshooter. Off to Summer who gets suplexed down and kneed in the corner but Layla makes a blind tag. She nails one kick and immediately tags back out to Summer. The villains ask Natalya if she’s going to cry as Rosa tries to play cheerleader on the apron.
Layla hooks a figure four neck lock and bends back over the ropes before hitting a dropkick to the side of the head. Summer comes back in for a bodyscissors and slams Natalya head first into the mat. Natalya kicks Summer away and makes the tag to Rosa (Cole: “Latina Heat!”) for a bad dropkick on Layla for two. Everything breaks down and Natalya kicks Summer to the floor, allowing Layla to roll Rosa up for the pin at 4:16.
Rating: D. There are a bunch of problems with this whole story. To begin with, why did Natalya wait about three months to go after Summer? Second, it’s really hard to care about these catty fights the girls are having, especially when some of them are capable of having good matches. The words “some of them” is the final key point. Rosa Mendes is about as worthless of a Diva as there has ever been. As far as I know, she has never won a singles match on TV. Why should I think it’s a big deal when she comes back?
We look at Main Event where Mark Henry wasn’t going to apologize to America again because he thinks they don’t appreciate him. Big Show came out and promises to knock Rusev out on Smackdown.
Big Show says he and Henry are brothers from another mother so he’ll knock Rusev out in Henry’s honor tonight.
We get the video on Reigns in the hospital and hear from the doctor on his prognosis.
Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro
Dolph is defending. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler taking him up against the ropes. Cesaro actually tries a monkey flip but Dolph lands on his feet and hiptosses him down. After a quick trip to the floor, Cesaro cranks on a chinlock and drops the champion with a belly to back suplex.
Ziggler gets caught in an abdominal stretch to stay on his ribs before a middle rope elbow gets two for Cesaro. Off to a modified cobra clutch on Dolph but he jawbreaks his way to freedom. A nice dropkick puts Cesaro down but he counters the Fameasser into a powerbomb, only to have Dolph climb over the shoulder into a rollup for the pin at 6:22. Cesaro clearly had the rope at two so there’s likely going to be a rematch.
Rating: C. Nice power vs. speed match here with Cesaro keeping the champion down and using his power to negate the high flying. The ending is a good way to keep Cesaro’s credibility and set up another match down the line. They could do better with more than six minutes so hopefully they’re given a good deal of time later.
The announcers point out the rope grab and Cesaro yells at the referee.
WWE2K15 stuff.
Lana and Rusev say their usual.
Rusev vs. Big Show
Show goes right at him to start and nails a running clothesline in the corner. There’s a loud chop and another clothesline but Rusev blocks the whisper chop. Big Show comes back with a sunset flip for two and knocks Rusev out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Big Show hitting a few loud chops in the corner but getting his leg taken out.
Rusev goes after the leg with some elbows before cranking on it on the mat. Show fights up with a side slam for two but misses the Knockout Punch. The jumping superkick drops Big Show for two and it’s off to a side choke. Back up and the giant hits some clotheslines followed by the chokeslam but Lana grabs his foot before the Knockout Punch. The distraction lets Rusev hit him with the Russian flag for the DQ at 9:52.
Rating: D. This was ten minutes of “Big Show chops, they do nothing, Big Show chops again, they do nothing, finish.” Rusev beating up Big Show next is another good win for him as he’s getting closer to the top of the card with these wins. He’s still waiting for the big feud but he’s still working well enough. As for Big Show, anything that keeps him away from the main event scene is a good thing.
Big Show knocks him out and Lana is stunned to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Tonight was a different kind of episode as some stuff seemed to matter. We set up a new challenger for Dolph and had Ambrose steal the briefcase which will likely be dealt with on Raw. The wrestling was nothing to see but more than anything else Smackdown needs to have stuff that actually matters. Smackdown needs to be a show that people want to see and two title matches and a battle royal are good ways to get to that point. Granted I have little reason to believe this is going to last as it almost never does but it was an easy show to sit through.
Results
Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds
Cesaro won a battle royal last eliminating Kofi Kingston and Jack Swagger
Usos b. Goldust/Stardust via DQ when Goldust hit Jimmy with a title belt
Layla/Summer Rae b. Rosa Mendes/Natalya – Rollup to Mendes
Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Rollup
Big Show b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev hit him with the Russian flag
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 22, 2014
We’re coming off Night of Champions and things have to be shaken a bit due to Roman Reigns’ injury. There’s a big hole at the top of the card at the moment and thankfully Dean Ambrose seems to be there to fill it. The other interesting thing is going to be what happens to the title now as we should be heading towards Cena vs. Lesnar III inside the Cell, but that match is a bit played at this point. It should be interesting to see what happens in the next five weeks. Let’s get to it.
Ambrose came out to open the show and said he wasn’t dead. He promised to stay in the ring all night until he got his hands on Rollins. Instead he got John Cena who teased a brawl because he wanted to beat up Rollins as well. The Authority came out and thankfully Cena and Ambrose just went after them instead of hiding behind the big invisible wall. Rollins got chased to the back and stole a car to avoid a beating from Cena and Ambrose. Dean as the new half of the Super Best Friends could be interesting, though he seems more like a loner than team player. Granted he was part of the best team in years so maybe it does work.
Ziggler got the Intercontinental Title back with the same rollup with a handful of trunks that Miz won it with the night before. I have no idea what the need was to change the title again, but at least it’s being defended. Can we get some new challengers now though?
Video on Reigns being taken out. That could change a lot of things going forward. Someone with a lot of time on their hands should write a column about that.
Jack Swagger beat Bo Dallas again. I’m not sure what the point of having these three trade wins for 8 days is.
Natalya beat Summer Rae in the Total Divas match. Rosa and Layla brawled and still no one cares. Just let them be hot and shake their hips a lot. It’s the only thing people are going to be interested in.
Ambrose beat Kane via DQ when Rollins ran in. Kane wasn’t as useless as he usually was here but it was only a six minute match. Dean fought them off with a chair but was eventually locked in a room by the Authority. Stephanie got in a great line: “Have we ever thrown someone out that didn’t come back?” I love it when they actually pay attention to continuity with little things like that.
Sheamus and the Usos pinned Cesaro and the Dusts in your usual “take two feuds and throw them together” match. This was longer than it needed to be but entertaining enough at the same time. Cesaro and Sheamus hitting each other very hard is all they need to do and it worked here. Usos vs. Dusts is fine, but I’d like to see a few more teams added to the mix. You know, like a division.
Rollins confronted Orton about Randy saying the Authority had to put on Rollins’ fires from earlier in the night. Nothing much came of this but it could be a seed for later.
The Next Generation thing they were hyping was video game stuff. Like it is EVERY FREAKING TIME.
Mark Henry came out to apologize for tapping out last night. The Russians came out to laugh and challenged him to another match. Henry made up for tapping out to the Accolade by only passing out to it this time. To be fair I don’ thtink anyone really believed he was going to knock off Rusev.
Adam Rose and the Bunny beat Slater and O’Neil. I can’t help but like this as it’s so goofy but they’re making it so goofy. All the heat is going to go away when the Bunny is unmasked though.
The Bellas are now arguing over the name Bella. Seriously. This might trump Booker T. and Ahmed Johnson fighting over the letter T. in WCW.
AJ beat Nikki Bella because Nikki is awful in the ring.
Cena beat Orton via DQ when the Authority interfered. There was a box at ringside and, as everyone who has ever watched a wrestling show knew, Ambrose was inside it and helped Cena clean house to end the show.
It’s very obvious that Ambrose is substituting for Reigns but that actually works so much better. Ambrose is the natural rebel whereas Reigns is a wrecking ball and doesn’t really fit in a war against the Authority. In other words, Ambrose is more like Austin while Reigns is more like Batista. That’s a VERY good career to have and Reigns is going to be a big star, but there are a lot more places to go with Ambrose’s character. It might be a better idea to have him as the top guy, assuming the fans buy into them, which they seem to be.
The show was a nice change of pace from the stuff we’ve been having for the last few weeks. Lesnar not being around is good in this case as they need to have some more stuff other than just Lesnar vs. the hero of the month. Cena can get his rematch later but it’s nice to give that feud some time to chill instead of just beating it into the ground. Rebuild Cena and let others fight Lesnar for awhile. Good show this week but it’s more about setting stuff up for later than anything on Monday.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
WWE has been nailing most of their pay per views this year but they had their work cut out for them with Night of Champions. It was a one match show and that match was a rematch. The fact that Roman Reigns is out of action for a few months due to hernia surgery makes things even shakier. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show feature was the Peep Show with Christian having Chris Jericho as his guest. This was about as pointless as I can remember as it was just the two of them making jokes about stuff from ten years ago and a brief exchange with Orton. To be fair though it’s better than a boring match that doesn’t get anywhere….I think.
The show itself opened with the Dusts taking the Tag Team Titles from the Usos. The match was fine but nothing all that memorable. These two teams have been looking very polished lately and this was another good match between them. Stardust pinned Jimmy after blocking the Superfly Splash for the titles, which is a fine ending for the seven month title reign.
Dolph and R-Ziggler did a spot for Mountain Dew.
Sheamus defending the US Title against Cesaro in a pretty awesome power brawl. There’s something cool about two monsters beating on each other for about thirteen minutes. Sheamus is at his best when he gets all fired up and starts hurting people. The same is true for Cesaro and it’s great to see two guys who can hit each other just as hard. I also liked the ending as it wasn’t a change of pace into a rollup or something but rather Sheamus hitting Cesaro with his big power move for the pin. You don’t get that enough anymore.
Big Show fired up Mark Henry before his match. That’s the end of Big Show’s involvement tonight.
Now we get to the bad part of the night: country band Florida Georgia Line jumped in on commentary for the Intercontinental Title match with Miz and Ziggler. The match itself wasn’t bad but I really do not need a band that has nothing to do with WWE other than appearing at Tribute to the Troops this year. They got involved by shoving Mizdow and that’s about it, other than the camera looking at them every few seconds. Miz won the title with a rollup and a handful of trunks but the wrestling took a long backseat to the low level celebrity nonsense.
We got a video on Reigns’ injury with some words from his doctor. Reigns will be out for several months, which might be the shakeup WWE has been needing.
Seth Rollins came out to brag about beating Reigns by forfeit before issuing an open challenge. Apparently Dean Ambrose was watching the show in a cab (which just happened to be sitting in the back) as he got out of said cab and charged to the ring to attack Rollins. This was the usual awesome brawl between these two until security got Ambrose down and handcuffed him. They’re doing a great job of only giving us a little bit of Ambrose vs. Rollins before they finally (and hopefully) lock them inside a Cell and let them just destroy each other.
Rusev basically squashed Mark Henry to make Jim Duggan cry somewhere. Henry was never really in control and wound up tapping out to the Accolade. Have Henry pass out or something but don’t have him tap out inside of five seconds.
Arguably the match of the night was Jericho vs. Orton which was a very nice surprise as I had no reason to care about this match coming in but they had me interested at the end. That’s a very hard thing to pull off but they managed to make it work. Orton caught Jericho coming off the top with an RKO for the pin. Odds are that sends Jericho back to the rock scene and there’s nothing wrong with that. These three month runs are as good as he’s going to get anymore and this worked fine. Jericho’s best match in this comeback too.
Brie Bella said she hopes Nikki doesn’t win because it will make her sister even worse. This would wind up being a plot point on Raw because this feud just has to keep going.
AJ won the title back, thankfully by making Nikki tap out. Paige vs. AJ is an interesting feud but they need to do something other than skip around and kiss the belt. Nikki continues to look great in her outfits and when she’s shaking her hips, but the Divas Title needs to either be the wrestling title or the stupid drama title. As long as they keep it off the Bellas and their stupid feud though, I’m good.
Cena beat Lesnar via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered and tried to cash in his briefcase. This sets up some future stuff with Rollins being placed into the main event scene and hopefully giving us a break from Cena vs. Lesnar. Their stuff has been good (including this match) but they’re reaching the point of overkill with it.
As for the match itself, Cena was far more competitive here and managed to avoid most of the suplexes. Lesnar managed to hit seven or eight but Cena got in enough offense to keep things competitive. He had Lesnar mostly beat when Rollins came in which is a solid idea and gives Cena a reason for a rematch later on. Something interesting about Lesnar: he’s viewed as this unstoppable monster but since his comeback in 2012, he’s only 6-4. That’s a great nod to his intimidation and Heyman’s promos.
Night of Champions was a good but definitely not great show. The main event was good enough and they did a solid job with some of the other matches. There’s some interesting stuff in the coming months and that’s something good for WWE after the months of repetitive stuff.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – September 22, 2014: Night of Night Of Champions Rematches
Monday Night Raw Date: September 22, 2014
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re past Night of Champions and heading towards Hell in a Cell in about five weeks. The main story is Seth Rollins breaking up Cena’s very close near fall on Brock Lesnar to end the show. The key is it makes Cena believe he can beat Lesnar, likely setting up another match inside the Cell. If they let them go nuts, that could be a classic. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event and Lesnar laying out Cena to end the show.
Here’s the returning Dean Ambrose to start things off. “I’M NOT DEAD!” Dean says he’s had to replay the incident over and over again and he can appreciate being attacked two on one. We look at Kane and Rollins giving him a curb stomp onto some cinder blocks. The Authority going to such lengths to get rid of him makes him feel special. Tonight he’s the authority and he isn’t leaving until he gets his hands on Seth Rollins because he never gets tired of hitting Seth Rollins in the face.
Dean gets a chair and sits in the middle of the ring but here’s Cena to interrupt. Ambrose says he doesn’t like Cena standing in the ring with him right now and Cena doesn’t want Ambrose having a reason to not like him. Cena says he has a reason to be angry because Seth Rollins stopped him from beating Brock Lesnar last night. He wants Rollins tonight and says no one is going to stop him, implying he’ll fight Ambrose to get to Seth. Dean says not to get in his way but Cena gets ready to fight. Ambrose takes his jacket off but here’s the full Authority to interrupt.
HHH says Rollins won’t be fighting tonight but Cena and Ambrose will. Cena and Ambrose aren’t interested in listening and charge at the Authority. Rollins bails with Ambrose and Cena giving chase. We cut to the back with Rollins running away from Ambrose and Cena before stealing a car to escape. Dean and John look at each other but nothing happens.
After a break, the Authority has a meeting and makes Kane vs. Ambrose and Cena vs. Orton. Kane isn’t pleased but agrees to the chance for revenge. Orton doesn’t like having to put out Rollins’ fires. WWE announced Orton vs. Ambrose before the show so I guess they already changed it.
Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Miz is defending after winning the title last night and Mizdow has a small replica title in a nice touch. No R-Ziggler in Dolph’s corner either. We actually get big match intros. Feeling out process to start with Dolph grabbing a headlock but getting Miz scores with a shoulder. A knee to the ribs puts Ziggler down and we hit the chinlock. The Figure Four is countered, sending Miz shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters much though as Ziggler gets caught with a neckbreaker onto the apron and we take a break.
Back with Miz hitting the corner clothesline but he gets dropkicked out of the air when trying the top rope ax handle. The Fameasser is countered but Dolph hits the running DDT to put both guys down. Back up and Miz blocks the superkick before slapping on the Figure Four. Ziggler eventually gets to the ropes and rolls to the floor where he clotheslines Miz and Mizdow.
Back in and Miz hits a quick Skull Crushing Finale for a very close two. Ziggler gets the same off the Fameasser but Miz blocks the Zig Zag. A superkick knocks Mizdow off the apron but Miz rolls Dolph up and grabs the trunks. Dolph rolls through though and grabs a rollup (and trunks) of his own to get the title back at 12:56.
Rating: C+. The near falls were good here and Ziggler feels like he earned the belt, but what in the world is the point in trading the title back and forth in two days? Both guys get an extra title reign and now we’re right back where we were twenty four hours ago. I like that they’re having some action, but how about letting something last more than a day?
We recap Reigns being taken off the card and Ambrose coming in to fight Rollins.
Jack Swagger vs. Bo Dallas
Swagger takes him into the corner to start but Dallas takes him across the ring for a knee to the ribs. A clothesline drops Jack and some knee drops to the head get two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jack runs him over and hits a Vader Bomb. Dallas goes back to the ribs and gets two off a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as a quick Patriot Lock makes Bo tap at 3:18.
Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but is there a point to having them alternate wins on three straight shows? That’s the second match in a row where the guys are just trading victories and I’m not sure who is gaining anything out of it. Swagger winning is a good thing at least.
Zeb makes fun of Bo’s catchphrase post match.
We get a quick tribute to Howard Stern Show personality Eric the Actor who died over the weekend.
Summer Rae vs. Natalya
This is your Total Divas match of the week with Summer calling Natalya jealous to start. We get a clip from the three month old issue that started this problem where Natalya pulled Summer out of a car. Rae takes her down for a figure four full nelson followed by a front chancery. Natalya comes back by slamming Summer’s face into the mat and one of the worst looking discus lariats I’ve ever seen. Summer was falling down before any contact and it looked awful. Rosa Mendes and Layla get in a fight on the floor as the Sharpshooter makes Summer tap at 2:20.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kane
Ambrose hammers away in the corner to start and takes Kane down with right hands. A middle rope elbow to the jaw gets one but Dean has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Dean sends him out to the floor and nails a suicide dive but Kane takes him down with a big boot and sends Ambrose into the steps. Back in and Kane works on an armbar before uppercutting Dean out of the air for two.
It’s back to the armbar which Kane is barely cranking on. They get up with Dean nailing a DDT followed by the Rebound Clothesline. A missile dropkick gets two on Kane but he pops back up and grabs Dean by the throat for the chokeslam. Ambrose quickly counters into Dirty Deeds but Rollins runs out for the DQ at 5:30.
Rating: C. Better match than expected here but it’s still nothing great. I don’t see why you couldn’t have Kane get pinned here but at least Ambrose had him beaten at the end. Dean is on fire after everything that has happened to him and with no Reigns around, there’s a big door open for him if he they use him right.
Dean fights off Rollins but Kane plants him with a chokeslam. Rollins goes back to get some more but Dean has a chair and tells him to come on. Seth backs down of course.
After a break, Ambrose is locked in a room by security and the Authority. Stephanie: “Have we ever thrown someone out that didn’t come back?” I love logical lines like that.
We get the video on Reigns’ surgery and the repeated announcement that he’ll be out for months.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust/Cesaro
Jey and Goldust start things off with a quick feeling out before it’s off to Jimmy for a big backdrop. Off to Stardust who sends Jimmy into the corner but has to duck a superkick. The Dusts bail to the floor for a breather and it’s off to Sheamus to hammer on Cesaro. They trade heavy forearms before tagging in Goldust and Jey with the Uso getting two off a splash. Back to Stardust for some forearms to Jey’s back before they trade armbars. Goldust comes back in as Stardust trips him up as we take a break.
Back with Jey fighting out of Stardust’s dragon sleeper before getting up a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Sheamus to clean house with the rolling fireman’s carry and ten forearms to the chest. Stardust escapes a powerslam but tags in Cesaro who pulls Sheamus out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and a middle rope ax handle gets two on Sheamus and Cesaro puts on something like a reverse Crippler Crossface. Goldust comes in again for a chinlock and knee drop before tagging back to his brother.
Sheamus fights out of a front facelock before blocking a top rope cross body with an ax handle to put both guys down. The double tag brings in Jey and Goldust with the Uso cleaning house. Jimmy makes a quick tag and hits a Whisper in the Wind to both champions. Everything breaks down and the Superfly Splash hits Goldust’s knees. The Final Cut looks to finish Jimmy but Sheamus makes a last second save. Cesaro and Sheamus go outside and Jey hits the Superfly Splash on Goldust for the pin at 15:42.
Rating: C. The match was ok but it felt much more long than good. The Usos should get a rematch after being champions for seven months and this is a decent enough way of setting it up. At least it’s better than just saying “oh they have a rematch clause.” Sheamus vs. Cesaro again would be entertaining but there are other challengers to go after the title.
Rollins comes up to Orton and doesn’t like the putting out fires line from earlier. Seth agrees to be in his corner later tonight.
Here’s the Next Generation thing they’ve been talking about. As is almost always the case, it’s for the new video game. This is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock of all sings.
Mark Henry comes out to address the fans after his loss to Rusev last night. He says he’s heartbroken and can’t believe he let everyone down. This brings out Rusev and Lana for some Russian gloating. Lana tells everyone to shut up and makes fun of the Memphis crowd. She offers Henry another match with Rusev tonight and Henry says bring it on.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry
This is joined in progress with Rusev hammering away and taking Henry down for a side choke. We look at Henry getting his back injured last night as the hold keeps going. Mark fights up so Rusev dropkicks him down and puts the hold on again. Henry finally stays up and slams Rusev down but hurts his back again. They head outside with Rusev being sent into the steps after trying to drive Henry in again. Back in and Henry tries a very slow Vader Bomb but gets pulled down, sending him ribs first into the mat. The Accolade makes Henry pass out at 7:30.
Rating: D+. This was long and dull but it was a much better ending than last night. Not that it matters after Henry looked like such a loser after last night but at least they’re getting the right idea. I could have done without another rematch this soon though as this is the second from last night and third from the last week.
Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil
It had to happen eventually. Titus runs over Rose to start and hits an over the shoulder backbreaker. Off to Slater for a side kick and a chinlock as the Bunny plays cheerleader on the apron. Rose kicks Slater away but Titus breaks up the hot tag attempt. The Bunny ducks a right hand from O’Neil and Adam finally makes the hot tag. The Bunny comes in with a bunch of kicks and a few tail wags before low bridging Titus to the floor. A big spinning kick to the face drops Slater and a seated senton off the apron takes out Titus. The Party Foul is enough for the pin on Slater at 3:10.
Rating: C+. Yeah I liked it. I don’t think there’s much else to be said here.
Here’s Nikki Bella to address Brie’s interview last night where Brie said she didn’t want Nikki to become Divas Champion. She immediately calls out Brie for a chat and trash is already being talked. Nikki says Brie should be called Nikki’s Trashy Sister and wants to be the only Bella. Brie won’t do it so Nikki brings up the obvious question: why hasn’t Brie taken her husband’s name? Nikki calls Bryan a troll so Brie tries a YES Lock, sending Nikki running to the floor.
AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
Paige is on commentary. AJ cranks on the arm to start before taking the non-champion down with a headscissors. A pair of neckbreakers get two on Nikki and they head out to the floor. Nikki sends AJ into Paige and the Brit is ticked off. Back in and Nikki gets two before putting on a swinging sleeper. There’s a cross armbreaker on AJ but she powers out, only to get caught in an Alabama Slam for two. Back up and Nikki misses a charge into the corner, allowing AJ to put on the Black Widow for the submission at 5:10.
Rating: D+. The longer the Bellas aren’t around a championship the better things are. Nikki wanting to fight over the Bella name is about as stupid of a way as they could go but that’s what this entire feud has been since the beginning. Thankfully AJ has dominated them every time to keep the evil from coming even more to the forefront.
A large black box is brought to ringside.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena
Randy takes him down with a headlock to starts but Cena quickly shakes him off, only to get pounded down in the corner. Now it’s John firing off right hands, followed by a bulldog for two. We take a break and come back with Cena being sent to the floor and into the announcers’ table. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop over the top and Cena has a breather. Back in and they collide but it’s Orton up first and taking Cena into the corner.
Orton puts on a sleeper for a bit until Cena escapes with the ProtoBomb. Randy escapes an STF attempt and takes Cena’s head off with a clothesline. He loads up a superplex but opts for a top rope Elevated DDT for a very close two instead. Cena pops back to his feet and grabs the STF, drawing in Kane and Rollins for the DQ at 15:15.
Rating: C. How in the world was this a fifteen minute match? This really didn’t work too well as it felt like they were just waiting to get to the obvious Ambrose surprise at the end. Rollins has now run in on three matches in two days which is a bit much to put it mildly. The match wasn’t bad but it ran longer than it needed to.
Post match the Authority loads up the Curb Stomp on the blocks under the box, but it’s Ambrose because….well what else was it going to be? Dean destroys everything in sight and Rollins runs off, leaving Ambrose and Cena to clean house to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show wasn’t bad but it was mainly a long recap of last night. I really liked the opening sequence with Ambrose and Cena looking like the new Super Best Friends trying to take down the Authority. The ending helped that story but there wasn’t much between the opening and closing. It was mainly recaps and rematches which weren’t very good in the first place. That being said, it was nice to go completely away from the Lesnar stuff, at least for a week. It’s not the worst show in a long time but it didn’t blow my skirt up.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Miz – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Jack Swagger b. Bo Dallas – Patriot Lock
Natalya b. Summer Rae – Sharpshooter
Dean Ambrose b. Kane via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Sheamus/Usos b. Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Goldust
Rusev b. Mark Henry via referee stoppage
AJ Lee b. Nikki Bella – Black Widow
John Cena b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins and Kane interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: