ECW on TNN – December 5, 2006: Going Out On Your Back

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Date: December 5, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We open with a recap of Lashley winning the title at December to Dismember.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Test/Hardcore Holly

Post match Sabu comes out with his arm in a sling and destroys the security.

Daivari issues a challenge to Tommy Dreamer and throws in a video of Khali destroying Dreamer on Sunday.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Daivari jumps Dreamer during his entrance and goes after his injured ribs. Tommy fights out of a stretch on the mat and punches away before hitting the DDT for the pin in less than 90 seconds.

Big Show says tonight Lashley is all alone and will get the beating of his life.

Kelly Kelly vs. Ariel

Back from a break and Tazz is singing about the show being on Saturday next week to show how serious the previous segment was.

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

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On This Day: November 7, 2006 – ECW on Sci-Fi: As The Hardcore Turns

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Date: November 7, 2006
Location: The Mark of the Quad Cities, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: CM Punk vs. Mike Knox

Before we get going, Kelly gets caught smiling at Punk so Knox sends her to the back. A fast rollup gets two for Punk as does a leg lariat as Knox is in trouble early. Punk hooks the Vice in the ropes ala the Tarantula and the springboard clothesline puts Knox on the floor. All Punk so far. Mike finally hits a knee to the ribs to take over and gets two off a bicycle (Brogue) kick. What is with big guys that use that move?

Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke are here and promise to bring Elijah Burke Productions to ECW. Great.

Daivari vs. Little Guido

Khali hits the Plunge on Guido post match.

Video on The Marine.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Test vs. Tommy Dreamer

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Paul Heyman/Big Show

I smell either a screwjob or a comedy match or even worse: both. Show and Van Dam start with the big man talking trash until Van Dam kicked him in the legs to shut him up. Rob immediately goes after Heyman but gets crushed by a splash and chopped in the corner. Show pounds him down and breaks up a few tag attempts to Holly. The fans are clamoring for a hot tag here which sounds like the screwjob to me.

The heels celebrate to end the show.

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ECW on Sci-Fi – November 28, 2006: Oh They Knew It Was Going To Suck

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Date: November 28, 2006
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We open with Heyman, flanked by his security, in the ring to talk about the Chamber. He explains the rules of the match to us including telling us that each pod will contain a weapon. The new information for us tonight is what those weapons will be. The weapons will include a chair, a crowbar, a table, and a barbed wire ball bat and we get a demonstration of each. Oh man they knew this was going to SUCK.

Theme song.

RVD knows he might not walk out of the Chamber but the chance of being ECW Champion again makes the risk worth it.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Video on Big Show vs. Lashley.

Hardy Boys vs. Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay

Terkay is a big MMA style guy who never did much in America. Jeff and Burke get things going with Hardy taking Elijah down with a headscissors. Off to Matt for a top wristlock won by Matt before Jeff comes back in with a dropkick for two. Terkay comes in and drills Jeff with a slam but misses a hard charge into the post. Matt comes in with a Side Effect for Burke and some clotheslines for Terkay. The Hardys double team Terkay down and hit Poetry in Motion, followed by the Twist/Swanton for the pin.

CM Punk vs. Test

Test pounds him down in the corner to start but Punk fires off forearms of his own. They head to the floor where Test is sent into the post before going back inside for a springboard clothesline from Punk. Test comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam and a chinlock but Punk sends him to the floor for a suicide dive. Punk sends him into the steps and they fight into the crowd for the double countout.

Heyman tries to talk Big Show out of the match with Lashley but Show keeps walking.

Another video on the Chamber.

Bobby Lashley vs. Big Show

Non-title of course. Lashley pounds away to start but Show comes back with a quick clothesline to take him down. A suplex does the same and Show follows it up with a superkick for no cover. Show continues his slow lumbering offense before going to the middle rope, allowing Lashley to suplex him down. The spear puts Show down but Heyman calls in his security for the DQ.

Rating: D. Big Show was such a disaster at this point and he was in desperate need of some time off to heal up and lose weight. The match was slow and dull with the majority being spent on Big Show walking around and waiting to do anything of note. The match just sucked as a result, much like a lot of ECW stuff around this time.

Test comes in to join in on the beatdown as Big Show hits a chokeslam. Heyman slaps Lashley over and over and Big Show knocks him out with the belt. Show covers him and Heyman counts a pin to end the show.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/25/merry-christmas-have-some-december-to-dismember/

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ECW on Sci-Fi – November 21, 2006: Team Extreme In The Land Of Extreme

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Date: November 21, 2006
Location: Nassau Coliseum, New York City, New York
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

We open with Heyman narrating a video on Lashley jumping Hardcore Holly to take the last spot in the Extreme Elimination Chamber and taking Big Show down.

In a special treat tonight, the Hardy Boys will reunite.

Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Striker

We get a clip of Jeff retaining the IC Title over Johnny Nitro in a ladder match last night.

Hardy Boys vs. Full Blooded Italians

Heyman tells Van Dam that if he loses to Holly tonight, Holly gets his Chamber spot.

CM Punk vs. Kevin Thorn

Post match Kelly celebrates with Punk but Ariel comes in for a catfight. Punk makes the save and the good people stand tall. Mike Knox stares them down from the ramp.

Video on the EVILS of the Chamber.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

This is extreme rules and the winner goes to the Chamber. Before the match, Test fires Holly up in the back in a pointless moment. Were they running 15 seconds short or something? They slug it out to start with Rob taking over and kicking Holly in the head. Rolling Thunder gets two on Holly and Van Dam takes him to the floor for the spin kick to the back. We take a break and come back with Rob catapulting Holly into the bottom rope and hitting a spinwheel kick in the corner.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/12/survivor-series-count-up-2012-redo-2006-man-this-year-sucked/

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On This Day: June 13, 2006 – ECW on Sci-Fi: This Isn’t ECW

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Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

So this is the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi which I found online out of boredom. Since I’m getting dangerously close to the end of the ECW PPVs, I figured I’d do the first and last shows of ECW on Sci-Fi and TNN just for the heck of it. This show is considered a miserable failure so let’s find out why. The main event is a battle royal to determine who fights Cena at Vengeance. ECW came back officially two days before this so it’s brand new and this is the big debut. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the second One Night Stand which was where the If Cena Wins We Riot sign debuted. Cena says he’ll be on ECW tonight, thereby killing ECW on its opening night. This was supposed to be the real ECW but you could tell that was never going to happen a few seconds after it debuted.

Heyman opens us up here and brings out RVD. They even have the hole in the brick wall entryway. RVD is WWE Champion here, having won it two nights ago. His voice reminds me of a less depressed Vin Diesel for some reason. They keep saying he’s the champion without saying WWE. Heyman declares him the ECW World Champion. Taz says no one knows what RVD is feeling. I think that should say no one knows why RVD never won the title in the original ECW. He says he’s just going to defend both titles. Van Dam wants the other one because it spins.

And here’s the #1 contender: Edge. Edge is ok because he could have made it in the original ECW I think. He cost Cena the title at Vengeance so he’s WAY over. Edge spears him after complimenting him. He goes through the crowd and Cena is behind him. RVD and Cena fight over who gets to beat up Edge. This of course allows Edge to escape. And remember, this is ECW. Pay no attention to the argument going on over the WWE Title with WWE guys.

After a house show ad, Heyman gives a speech to the locker room and says they’re invading Raw on Monday. You know it might work better if you didn’t say it on national TV.

The Zombie vs. The Sandman

And this right here is where ECW died completely. Since they could only get on Sci-Fi, they tried to get more sci-fi stuff on the show, hence this. And cue Sandman to not Metallica. Styles and Taz don’t even try to take this seriously. This is like a bad indy show joke or something. Sandman canes the heck out of him to a great pop and the White Russian Leg Sweep ends this in like 10 seconds. Dust flew off of Zombie. No rating obviously.

Kelly is an exhibitionist and wants to take off all of her clothes.

DX is coming back. On ECW. Shoot me. Better yet shoot Heyman as he doesn’t deserve this.

We see the whole Taz destroying King match from the PPV two days ago. It’s a 30 second squash but we see the whole thing, including intros.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch. Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out everything he had planned and we’re having an extreme battle royal for the shot against Cena at Vengeance.

Read the Rise and Fall of ECW.

An unnamed character (Kevin Thorn) looks up at the ECW sign as Joey and Tazz say he couldn’t be what they think he is (vampire).

Kelly comes out to strip for us. She only has one name so far. She gets down to her underwear and unhooks her bra and puts her hands over her chest and leaves. Was there a point to that at all?

Extreme Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Big Guido, Little Guido, Stevie Richards, Big Show, Roadkill, Danny Doring, Al Snow, Tony Mamaluke, Balls Mahoney

So despite Heyman saying 10 there are 11. Sure why not. The weapons are all on the floor which completely goes against the logic of a battle royal. Balls has a bad cover of AC/DC. Show has hair here. That’s not something I’m used to. Wait didn’t he get his head shaved before this? Everyone runs from Show and it’s almost impossible to keep track of who is eliminated and who is just running. Roadkill takes a fallaway slam and we go to a break. No one has been eliminated since they all went through the ropes. We get some token weapons shots and I want this to end.

Taz tries to play this off as being more extreme than anything else and I feel sorry for him. Sabu sets up a table. Everyone jumps Show and it does nothing at all. Show puts out Snow. And Doring. Uh Richards too. Might as well say Roadkill too. Balls Mahoney is number five. This is all in a row so I’m not skipping anything. Dreamer goes after Show with something made of metal and of course it does jack. He goes through a table on the floor. It’s Show, the FBI and Sabu. Show puts all three of the non-fake Arabians out in about 45 seconds and then Sabu hits him while he’s on the ropes to win it.

Rating: F. Oh sweet mama this was bad. Show literally eliminated everyone other than Sabu in less than 4 minutes. There’s domination and then there’s this. One of the worst battle royals ever to fittingly close out one of the worst hours ever.

Overall Rating: G. This is one of those weird shows that actually goes beyond failing and blazes new territory. Other than the main event if you want to call it that, the longest match was less than 100 seconds long. One match had a zombie and one was from a PPV so it wasn’t even new. They had no freaking clue what they were doing with this and it showed badly. They more or less redid the whole thing the next week when this bombed so terribly. Not even worth it for the historical value. Terrible show.

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ECW on SyFy – Febraury 16, 2010: Now Let It Stay Dead

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Date: February 16, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Byron Saxton

Well as you can tell this is the final edition of the modern ECW show. There are a total of two matches on the show: a tag title match and Big Zeke, a muscleheaded no talent hack that would never have gotten more of a second look in ECW and Christian who would have been ok there. Take a guess as to how this is going to end. NXT would debut the next week so let’s get to it.

We get to meet the NXT rookies and pros tonight.

Tag Titles: The Miz/Big Show vs. Goldust/Yoshi Tatsu

Miz has three belts at the moment, all of which would cause him to become my #1 draft pick in the fantasy league. Doesn’t this make you riveted to the screen? I mean it’s clear that two guys like Dust and Tatsu have a great chance to win the belts here. Goldust and the smaller champion start us off. Yoshi is fast but Goldust comes in and gets drilled by Show as we take a break.

Tatsu comes in and kicks a lot which gets him nowhere. Show busts out a headlock takeover of all things. Well that’s not something you expected. Yoshi has an eternal flame of pride. This just isn’t that interesting as there’s just a total lack of drama and it’s hurting things here. Goldie comes in and cleans the kitchen (not enough to be the whole house) but gets punched and the Skull Crushing Finale ends this.

Rating: D+. It looked like they were trying but come on: Tatsu and Goldust? Is that really the best they could do? They couldn’t bring Dreamer out of mothballs for this? It just didn’t do anything for me and while it was ok, no one cares about Goldust as a serious contender at this point and Tatsu hadn’t done a thing. It just fell flat and that’s never good.

The first pairing we see is Jericho/Barrett. Barrett is obsessed with money apparently. Where did that aspect of his character go?

Next up is Hardy/Gabriel. Gabriel is a cross between Johnny Damon and Adam Lambert.

Tiffany, the GM still and not a member of Blonterouge or whatever the name is now, addresses the ECW audience and is interrupted by Ryder and Rosa. He wants into the title match and says there’s nothing Tiffany can do about it.

MVP and Skip Sheffield are a team. No not really.

We do the final Abraham Washington Show and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be funny. He thinks they’re in St. Louis to get cheap heel heat. He talks about how he’ll be a free agent soon so people get to pay for him. He says he has the biggest name in wrestling for his final guest and of course it’s himself. Cue Shelton for no apparent reason.

Shelton really was bad on the mic. This is painful. He reminds Abe that everyone is a free agent now and gets interrupted by Vance Archer who had been feuding with Shelton for awhile. The Dudebusters come out and say they’re the most important thing on the show. Kozlov comes out and yells. Dang Vince really wanted to kick the original ECW to death didn’t he?

There’s the big brawl and Washington is mad because they’re messing up his furniture when he’s a single payment away from getting his security deposit back. Kozlov and Shelton shake hands and leave for no apparent reason.

Another pairing is Carlito and Michael Tarver.

The I think fifth pair is Daniel Bryan and Miz. And cue the IWC exploding over it.

We talk about the Elimination Chamber since that’s on Sunday.

Christian and Slater are announced.

Christian comes out and says it’s been a year since he came back. ECW isn’t a demotion to him but rather home. He talks about how he got to be the star on ECW and he’s loved every bit of it. Tonight is for the ECW Originals and for ECW. Oh come on now you know he’s losing. There’s an ECW chant for you. He’ll be proud to be the final ECW Champion. This came off well and made ECW sound very respectable and like a good thing.

Punk and Young, who apparently has incredible strength, will be a team.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

This is under Extreme Rules and Christian brought a shopping cart of weapons. Christian gets him to the floor and here’s Ryder to be a jerk. He gets beaten up like a little nitwit and Tiffany bounces down to the ring to take down Rosa. Back from a break and it’s all Big Zeke. Christian hits the Pendulum Kick into a trash can lid into Zeke.

Regal and Zeke set up a table but get it knocked into their faces. Some WEAK kendo stick shots give the advantage back to the Canadian. This was far better on the first viewing. Regal interferes and breaks up the Killswitch and Jackson slams Christian through a table to completely kill the history of ECW forever. Until TNA redoes it soon and kills its corpse.

Rating: C-. It’s ok but the ending was again fairly clear. You knew Vince was going to go with the big title change to end things and that it would be fairly stupid. The match was ok at best but with three interferences for Jackson it became watered down and overbooked. Glad to see they kept with the original ECW vision on that one.

We close the show and the brand with R-Truth being Otunga’s pro and the big musclehead holding the ECW Title. I’d love to see Heyman’s reaction to that.

Overall Rating: D. This was just bad. It’s really more of a commercial for NXT than anything else. Christian’s speech was nice but this was about ending ECW once and for all which was just done to let Vince have a good feeling about it at the end of the day. I wish this had been the end of ECW but of course TNA wants to get a few more dollars out of it while they can so here we go all over again. ECW dies once again with nothing to show for it. Yeah I’m stunned too.

 

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ECW on Sci-Fi – November 14, 2006: That’s The Sixth Guy

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Date: November 14, 2006
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,266
Commentators: Joey Styles, Elijah Burke

Tazz had knee surgery so Burke is filling in on commentary.

To the shock of no one, Hardcore Holly is shown walking through the back. Before he can get here though, Bobby Lashley from Smackdown destroys Holly and stares at the camera. Heyman and Show are panicked as Lashley (a very muscular and legit amateur wrestling champion) comes to the ring. Big Show goes to the aisle to stop him but Bobby spears him down and signs the contract.

CM Punk vs. Mike Knox

Rating: B. Where in the world did this come from? These two beat the tar out of each other and we got a very good match out of it. The back stuff was fine and it was good to see Knox stick with it throughout the entire match. Punk winning is the right move of course but if you can get a good match before the inevitable ending, that makes it all the better.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer takes the Punjabi Plunge post match.

Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

Test, Big Show and Holly triple team Lashley until Van Dam, Sabu and Punk make the save. The show ends with Van Dam and Lashley standing tall. They stare at each other a lot as well.

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ECW on Sci-Fi – November 7, 2006: The Chamber Is Coming And There’s Nothing We Can Do About It

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Date: November 7, 2006
Location: The Mark of the Quad Cities, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: CM Punk vs. Mike Knox

Before we get going, Kelly gets caught smiling at Punk so Knox sends her to the back. A fast rollup gets two for Punk as does a leg lariat as Knox is in trouble early. Punk hooks the Vice in the ropes ala the Tarantula and the springboard clothesline puts Knox on the floor. All Punk so far. Mike finally hits a knee to the ribs to take over and gets two off a bicycle (Brogue) kick. What is with big guys that use that move?

Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke are here and promise to bring Elijah Burke Productions to ECW. Great.

Daivari vs. Little Guido

Khali hits the Plunge on Guido post match.

Video on The Marine.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Test vs. Tommy Dreamer

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Paul Heyman/Big Show

I smell either a screwjob or a comedy match or even worse: both. Show and Van Dam start with the big man talking trash until Van Dam kicked him in the legs to shut him up. Rob immediately goes after Heyman but gets crushed by a splash and chopped in the corner. Show pounds him down and breaks up a few tag attempts to Holly. The fans are clamoring for a hot tag here which sounds like the screwjob to me.

The heels celebrate to end the show.

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ECW on Sci-Fi – October 31, 2006: The Chamber Is Coming

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Date: October 31, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We open with a long recap of the main event from last week. Why would Heyman give ROB VAN DAM a LADDER match to get his world title shot?

Theme song.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Sabu vs. Kevin Thorn

Tazz gives Joey a noose for Halloween. This show is getting creepier every minute.

Daivari vs. Shannon Moore

This is Daivari and Khali returning after about three months off all WWE TV. Daivari cranks on the arm to start and gets two off a slam. They slug it out and after a quick burst of offense from Shannon, a DDT gets the pin for Daivari.

Khali destroys Shannon post match.

Post contest Mike Knox comes out to yell at Kelly. Punk makes the save and beats down Knox.

After a break Knox challenges Punk to a match next week.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Test

Heyman is the gorilla.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/10/28/cyber-sunday-2006-a-moment-that-always-makes-me-laugh/

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ECW on Sci-Fi – October 24, 2006: Get Some New Heels. Please.

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Date: October 24, 2006
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We open with a recap from last week with Van Dam pinning Big Show. During that match, Hardcore Holly saved Van Dam from an attack by Test.

Theme song.

CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Rating: D+. This was a squash until we got to Punk getting beaten up for the DQ. Striker was a fine character as the whole teacher thing worked really well, but at the end of the day the guy was not any good in the ring at all. There are only so many ways you can get around that and Striker never found one. Punk vs. Knox hopefully will end soon.

We get a quick recap of Holly going after Heyman a few weeks ago which also sets up Holly vs. Test tonight.

Test vs. Hardcore Holly

Test sends Holly into the corner for two and puts on a bearhug. Holly escapes and kicks a bent over Test in the face to put both guys down. A big back elbow puts test down as does a clothesline. Holly hits a top rope clothesline for two but Test elbows him down and goes up, only to get crotched. Holly gets two off a middle rope legdrop before escaping the pumphandle slam. The Alabama Slam is countered too so Holly kicks Test in the very low abdomen. Test pokes him in the eye and sends him shoulder first into the post. That and a rollup with a handful of tights gets the pin.

Post match Test hits Holly in the back with a chair a few times.

More Marine nonsense.

Rob Vam Dam vs. Big Show

Rating: C+. The idea for a Big Show ladder match is to have the other guy use the ladder while Show uses his size and power with the ladder as the occasional prop. That worked here as it was Van Dam bouncing off Show the entire match and a high risk/leverage move that got the win for Van Dam. Good match here, especially for an ECW main event.

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