Hidden Gems #18: Hart Needs Pants
More from my big assortment of leftovers from the WWE Network.
We go to an unspecified TV show from February 22, 1994 with Vince McMahon interviewing Jim Cornette on the platform. Cornette has the WWF Title with him and wants everyone to know that Lex Luger is never going to hold this because he can’t beat Yokozuna. Vince doesn’t know about that and here’s Luger, sending Cornette into terror. Luger takes the belt from him and puts it on, which Vince thinks looks pretty good. Not good enough to make Luger the champion mind you.
Vince wants the ring announcer to announce Luger as champion, with Luger doing a full on entrance with the title and getting in the ring to pose with the title. Luger walks around the ring and then takes the belt back to the platform to throw it at Cornette. This was actually a thing they did to make the fans think that Luger won the belt, as well as filming a special scene in advance in case they went with Luger at Wrestlemania. That obviously didn’t happen, but the fans needed a reason to see them filming this so the “what would happen if” deal was thrown together. Another cool little feature here.
From January 12, 1976 in Championship Wrestling From Florida.
Andre the Giant bends a bar around his neck (and breaks it), lifts 2000lbs and wins a tug of war (as in he’s in the middle with five wrestlers on each side) by pulling everyone into each other. This wasn’t even two minutes long.
Todd Hansen vs. Brian Black
Date: May 2, 2005
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Raw dark match with Lilian Garcia welcoming us to the night. Hanen is better known as Ivar (minus the long hair and/or beard) and Black is better known as the guy who is about to lose to Hansen in a dark match. Hansen grabs a headlock to start but gets elbowed in the stomach for his efforts.
A headlock takeover works a bit better for Hansen but Black whips him hard into the corner and puts on a double arm crank. That’s broken up as well and Hansen hits an ugly crossbody for two. Hansen makes the clothesline comeback and gets two off a spinning kick to the face. Black hits a pumphandle faceplant for the same but Hansen small packages him for the pin at 4:40.
Rating: D+. This was just a pair of local guys getting to have a quick match to warm up the crowd. There was nothing to indicate that Hansen would become a star in the future and it took a very long time for his career to take off. You have to start somewhere though and that’s what we were seeing here, in one of probably several similar matches he had during this part of his career.
From August 25, 1973 in the AWA.
Billy Graham loses to the Great Scott (with his 8 inch bicep) in an arm wrestling match. The clip runs 43 seconds and I have no idea what the joke was supposed to be here.
From the AWA on January 15, 1977.
Gene Okerlund brings in the Iron Sheik (who looks TINY compared to what he would become), who refuses to speak English. Sheik rants a lot, drops to his knees and prays and shows off the Persian clubs, as was his tradition. After a break, Sheik lifts a 300lb chain above his head and then rants a lot more. Gene says come and see Sheik when you have a chance. Of note: Sheik was billed from Lebanon here rather than Iran.
Kenny Omega vs. Cru Jones
Date: September 3, 2006
Location: Deep South Arena, McDonough, Georgia
Commentators: Bill DeMott, Nigel Sherrod
This is from Deep South Wrestling, where Omega was in the WWE developmental system for a bit before realizing he wasn’t going to get anywhere in this company. Before the match, Omega mocks Jones for being a former football player who yells a lot and promises to pin him. Yeah Omega wasn’t great with the talking at this point. Jones takes him into the corner to start so Omega tries a waistlock.
Omega picks up the pace and armdrags him into an armbar, with one fan calling it boring. Another armdrag into an armbar keeps Jones down but he throws Omega into the corner. The chinlock goes on until Omega fights up and drop toeholds him into the middle rope. A running dropkick to the side of the head gets two on Jones but Jones is back with a Michinoku Driver for the same. Omega is right back up with Sliced Bread for the pin at 5:06.
Rating: C-. Another historical curiosity more than anything else here as Omega was nowhere near what he would become. He was just a guy in trunks here without any kind of character or gimmick to speak of. I can see why he would want out, as doing something like this isn’t going to give him any kind of a change to shine. Jones never did anything of note in wrestling and retired in 2012.
From Championship Wrestling From Florida on September 8, 1988.
Dusty Rhodes introduces us to his son Dustin, who he says is green behind the ears and needs to fill out a bit. Dusty knows everyone is going to be watching and he wants the people to love his son like they love him. Dustin is ready to get funky like a monkey, but he looks rather stoic here and doesn’t say a word.
Rico Constantino vs. Brock Lesnar
Date: January 3, 2002
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 13,978
Raw dark match and the arena might be 15% full. Lesnar is in white boots for a really weird look. Rico strikes away out of the corner and runs Lesnar over with a shoulder. The cross armbreaker goes on but Lesnar powerbombs out of it without much trouble. Lesnar stomps away in the corner and hits some shoulders to the back for two. The powerslam into the corner lets Lesnar stomp away some more but Rico comes back with a kick to the head. The spinning kick to the face is countered into a powerslam to finish Rico at 4:20.
Rating: C. Believe it or not, two of the more polished OVW wrestlers can have a completely passable match against each other. Lesnar was showing off the power here and that’s what you want to see from him. Rico continues to look more polished than you would ever imagine and I would have loved to see what he could do if he hadn’t been saddled with such a stupid gimmick.
Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Date: February 4, 1981
Location: Fieldhouse, Allentown, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson
This is from All-Star Wrestling and I absolutely would not have recognized Duggan. He has short blonde hair and a mustache here, to the point where I thought it was a typo until he was introduced. Slaughter has the Grand Wizard with him and gets in an argument with a fan in the front row before the match starts. Then he does it again, with Vince calling the fan “rotund”.
Duggan (an unknown here) forearms Slaughter in the chest and hits another in the corner. Slaughter unloads with shots to the chest against the ropes and whips him into the corner to cut off a comeback attempt. Duggan gets in his own whip but walks into a piledriver (Vince: “That’ll hurt.”) and the Cobra Clutch finishes for Slaughter at 6:31.
Rating: C-. Now this was fun, as Duggan showed the fire that would make him a star in Mid-South when he got the chance. He was a total rookie at this point though and it was amazing to see in a way. If you have never seen the old school Slaughter, make some time to do so, as he really was awesome in his slimmer days.
Great Kabuki vs. Bruiser Brody
Date: June 7, 1981
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas Texas
Commentator: Stan Hart
From World Class inside a cage with escape rules only and if Brody wins, Fritz Von Erich gets to face Gary Hart (evil manager) inside the cage. They circle each other to start with Brody kicking his way out of the corner. Kabuki chokes him down but gets whipped into the corner for a right hand. Brody misses the knee though and Kabuki gets in a top rope forearm to the back.
The armpit claw goes on and a superkick cuts off Brody’s comeback attempt. Another comeback works a bit better as Brody kicks him down into the corner, only to get kicked up against the cage. Brody fights out of another nerve hold but a chop cuts him down again. There’s a top rope stomp to the head (geez) to bust Brody open (makes sense) but he kicks Kabuki down again. Now the big knee connects and Brody ties him in the Tree of Woe to escape at 9:55.
Rating: C-. I was expecting more from this but the big story here was more about setting up the next match. It’s a little weird to have what feels like a big showdown inside a cage for the sake of another match later, but that’s a Von Erich story for you. Brody vs. Kabuki would seem to be a bigger match than this, though there is only so much you can do with one guy knocking the other down, then having them swap roles over and over again for about ten minutes.
Bonus match time. Well after we come back from a break and look at the last thirty seconds of the match first.
Fritz Von Erich vs. Gary Hart
Hart, in his suit, is terrified and Fritz stalks him around for a good while. A charge in the corner goes badly for Hart as he gets pounded down, allowing Fritz to start ripping at the suit. Some people are running around at ringside as the pants go flying. The Claw goes on and Hart is left in his underwear. More stripping and more Clawing ensues to give Fritz the win at 4:47.
Rating: D. This was barely a match so there is only so much you’re going to get out of it. I’m sure this would mean a lot more if I know the story (to be fair, Hart vs. Von Erichs went on for years) but this was much more about giving the fans something to cheer. Fritz was a monster in real life but the fans loved him so this worked as well as it could have.
Post match Kabuki gets Hart out of the cage in search of pants.
Minnesota Stretching Crew vs. Mr. Black/Mark Henry
Date: December 16, 2000
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Kenny Bolin, Dean Hill
That would be a VERY young Brock Lesnar/Shelton Benjamin and Black is a big guy. Black shrugs off Shelton’s dropkick to start and runs him over with a shoulder as commentary actually says this was taped before their big show (which wound up getting knocked out by a blizzard and postponed by a month anyway, so it was WAY before the big show). Shelton crucifixes Black for two and hits a top rope flip dive for the same. Black drives him into the corner and it’s off to Henry to toss Shelton around with ease.
A crossface chickenwing of all things has Benjamin in trouble and there’s a clothesline to drop him again. Henry drops a leg for two and Black blocks a sunset flip with a right hand. A missed charge lets Shelton bring in Brock off the hot tag and even Bolin (the heels’ manager) knows this is trouble. Everything breaks down and Black pulls out a police baton. Cue Rob Conway to take it from him and knock Black silly with it, giving Benjamin the pin at 5:40.
Rating: C. Totally watchable match here as they were just waiting on that hot tag to Lesnar. He was incredibly green at this point but when you can do things like that, does it really matter? I could have gone with the Stretching Crew on the main roster but Charlie Haas was a great choice for Benjamin’s partner and Brock did fine for himself. Black….well he was good for OVW.
Post match Henry and Black beat Conway down.
And now to Championship Wrestling From Florida, June 15, 1972.
We get a training session with Les Thornton, Harley Race, Danny Hodge and more slowly doing moves as commentary talks about what we’re seeing. We’re just seeing individual moves here and there is no crowd or anything. It’s mainly a bunch of suplexes and throws but they’re in slow motion to focus on the athletics and leverage. Believe it or not, Race looks exactly like he always wood as the guy never aged. We wrap it up with some clips of Chavo Guerrero dropkicking a Samoan in a match. This is the kind of thing I can always go for and it was a lot of fun for a short video.
From OVW, May 26, 2001.
Mark Henry is in the ring to talk about how OVW and its fans are on pace to raise $20000 for a children’s charity. Cue Bolin Services (top heel stable) with Kenny Bolin saying he is tired of Henry raising money that could go into his pocket in these towns. They have found something in the contract, with a Randy Savage impersonator (ahuh) saying that the contract states that all money Henry raises goes to Bolin, including the charity money.
Henry says he’ll see Bolin in the hospital and the brawl is on with Henry cleaning house. Cue some guy that commentary doesn’t recognize to beat Henry down with the help of Mr. Black. Jim Cornette wants to know who the guy is hitting a tornado DDT to leave Henry laying. He would know him soon enough: it’s a debuting John Cena.
Fritz Von Erich vs. The Sheik
Date: February 28, 1977
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Bill Mercer
Texas Death Match, meaning anything goes. We’re joined in progress with Gary Hart offering a distraction so Sheik can get in a cheap shot. Fritz grabs the stomach claw anyway before switching to the head for a change. Sheik rolls over to the rope for the break (in a death match) but Fritz keeps the hold on. The hold has been on for about two minutes at this point, making it seems like one of the lamest holds in history.
Sheik finally gets in a cheap shot and makes the crazed comeback but Fritz chokes him down again. Some choking gets the bloody Sheik out of trouble and they slug it out as we take a break. Back with Fritz punching his way out of a choke to grab another claw from the mat. A headbutt knocks Sheik out to the floor but they’re both down for the count and the draw at 6:20.
Hang on though as Sheik gets a chance to come back in to answer the ten count (ok then)….and they’re both out again at 7:08. There must be a winner so the first person to his feet wins. Hart and company try to help Sheik up but Fritz is down. Cue Kerry Von Erich to pour water on Fritz and hit Hart with the bucket. Fritz FINALLY gets up for the win at 10:02.
Rating: D-. There was some nice drama with who gets up first but this was a lot of laying around (about 4 minutes out of 10) and the rest was spent on choking and the claw. I know the fans loved Fritz and that’s fair enough, but it would be nice to have them actually do something. Sheik can have his wild brawls, though you would never know it off of this one.
Post match Sheik uses the water on the mat to wash his face because he’s an odd duck.
UPW Heavyweight Title: Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels
Date: March 14, 2001
Location: Galaxy Theater, Santa Ana, California
Attendance: 775
Daniels is defending and this is Loser Leaves UPW (a California independent promotion which trained John Cena). We’re joined in progress with Joe (slim here) missing an enziguri and Daniels (with HAIR) pulling him into an STF. Joe makes the rope and pulls Daniels into a chinlock. That’s broken up as well but the referee gets crushed in the corner. A low blow into Angel’s Wings gets the pin….from a wrestler named Mikey Henderson, meaning it doesn’t seem to count. Joe gets back up and hits an enziguri, setting up the Emerald Driver (Emerald Flosion) for the pin and the title at 2:02 shown.
Daniels gets the Goodbye Song but grabs the mic and thanks the fans for everything over the years.
Samoa Joe, who looks YOUNG, says he’ll face everyone and ran both Daniels and Rob Van Dam out of UPW.
From Florida Championship Wrestling, February 23, 1989.
Oliver Humperdink is sick of Dusty Rhodes so he needs to get rid of Dustin Rhodes. So who should he bring in to take care of Dustin? The only solution is Terry Funk, and we see a video of Funk standing in front of an unpainted white figure with the word DUSTY on the chest. Funk talks about how worthless and fat he is, and how something like this can only be called a “Dusty”. Then he whips out a chainsaw and cuts off the limbs, which represent his words and fat. That leaves you with a Dustin, who is too stupid to speak. I think I’ve done this one before.
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