WrestleFest 1994
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Polo
Host: Randy Savage

This is another entry in a series of Coliseum Videos with a bunch of allegedly awesome matches from the time period. That isn’t the most likely situation, as these things are absolutely hit and miss, though the matches teased could be much worse. Hopefully it’s on the good end here so let’s get to it.

The opening sequence likely previews what we’ll be seeing.

Randy Savage is our host and is going to give us fashion tips. Oh this could be fun.

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina (though it also might be January 11, 1994 in Fayetteville, North Carolina as sources vary).

Rick Martel vs. Randy Savage

Savage backs him up to start but Martel does the same, including a slap to the face. That doesn’t seem to be the best idea against a noted psycho like Savage, who chases him to the floor. Back in and Martel does some jumping jacks, followed by even more on the outside. Martel has to jump over him back inside so Savage starts slugging him in the face. That’s enough for Martel to bail out to the floor for a bit, followed by a headlock so Savage can grind away.

An atomic drop can’t even get Martel out of trouble and he eventually sends Savage outside to quite the reaction. A suplex drops Savage for two and we’re off to the reverse chinlock to stay on the back. Savage is back up and knocks him outside for a top rope ax handle out to the floor for two back inside. Martel manages to whip him into the corner but the charge hits the post. The top rope elbow gives Savage the pin at 9:19.

Rating: C+. The more I watch Martel, the more impressed I am with him. He really was that good in the ring and if he had something to freshen him up a bit, he could have gone even further. Savage was just about done in the WWF ring at this point and that’s a shame, as he was still more than acceptable.

Randy Savage doesn’t think much of IRS’ fashion sense. Eh the tie works.

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina (it’s definitely a different arena than Savage vs. Martel, so I’m assuming that was in Fayetteville).

Tag Team Titles: Marty Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Headshrinkers

Jannetty and the Kid are in a rare defense (as they only held the titles for seven days). After a minute plus of stalling from the Headshrinkers, Jannetty gets knocked away a few times but grabs an armbar to some more success. Kid comes in to stay on the arm but gets knocked down just as fast. Fatu hits a heck of a powerslam for two but Kid gets in a dropkick to send him outside.

The quick dive connects and it’s back to Jannetty, who faceplants Samu to no effect. A nice superkick works better but it’s Fatu coming back in with the big clothesline to take over. The Kid gets drawn in, allowing Fatu to choke away in the corner. Jannetty gets sent hard into the corner, which draws Kid in again, meaning Jannetty is sent into the steps. Samu goes face first into the steps, which he shrugs off for a superkick to Jannetty instead.

Three straight backbreakers give Fatu two, with Monsoon getting ALL OVER HIM for the lazy cover. Fatu tries to block a sunset flip but punches the mat by mistake, allowing the much needed tag to the Kid. An anklescissors out of the corner sends Fatu outside and a double dropkick does the same to Fatu. The moonsault press drops Fatu but he’s up before one. Instead Kid sends him into the ropes, with Samu’s neck getting tied up. Afa comes in with a Samoan drop to the Kid, to give Fatu the pin and the titles at 10:17. And never mind as here’s another referee to say what happened so we’ll call it a DQ to retain the titles instead.

Rating: B. They were rolling by the end here as the Kid and Jannetty were a great choice for the underdogs. At the same time, there was no way they were going to be long term champions so the idea of the Headshrinkers taking the titles here was realistic. Seeing Afa get physical was weird enough, and it came at the end of a good match.

Randy Savage likes his own gear and praises Men On A Mission. Well maybe he’s not worth listening to after all.

From April 28, 1994 in Springfield, Massachusetts, Men On A Mission and Oscar do the WrestleFest 94 Rap. Yes this was a thing and it goes on for a good while.

Randy Savage says black is a good color for Undertaker, but even if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t want Undertaker mad.

From September 28, 1993 in Worcester, Massachusetts.

Undertaker vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb chokes away in the corner to start and sends him outside, where Undertaker is sent into the apron. A hard whip sends Undertaker knees first into the steps but he’s able to slug away back inside. Bomb’s boot to the face doesn’t do much good as it’s a chokeslam to finish him off at 2:42. This was absolutely nothing.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams Johnny Polo for a bonus.

Savage doesn’t like Jeff Jarrett’s clothes either. This stuff isn’t exactly thrilling. Can we get something a bit better to pick up the pace a bit?

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina.

Steiner Brothers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Oh. Ok. Bret and Scott start things off with Bret getting in a fireman’s carry. Scott gets taken over to the rope and it’s back to a standoff. A leg sweep puts Bret down and Scott can grind away at a headlock, followed by a hard shoulder to send Bret outside. Back in and Bret gets two off a rollup before working on an armbar. Owen comes in to go to the mat with Rick, followed by a heck of a spinwheel kick for two on Scott.

That doesn’t work for Scott, who muscles him up with a tiger bomb, with Bret having to make a save. Bret comes in to face Rick, who takes him down by the arm and commences cranking. A slam can’t get Bret out of trouble but a knee to the ribs breaks it up, allowing Bret to miss an elbow. Rick is right back on the armbar, with Bret finally fighting up to hit a dropkick.

A DDT and legdrop keep Rick in trouble, setting up the sleeper. Rick eventually falls forward into the ropes for the break, which earns him a suplex from Bret. With Rick down, Bret goes up but dives into a raised boot. The top rope bulldog gives Rick two (Monsoon doesn’t like the lack of leg hooking) and it’s back to Scott, who avoids a charge to send Bret into the post. Back up and Bret suplexes him over the top and out onto the floor for one heck of a crash.

Owen gives Scott a slam and hits a top rope headbutt to the back for a painful looking crash. The abdominal stretch goes on (Monsoon: “This is not going to work.”) and indeed Scott powers out rather quickly. Instead it’s a belly to belly suplex to give Owen two and it’s back to Bret for the Russian legsweep. Owen comes back in and Bret kicks Scott in the back from the apron, only for Owen to miss a charge. Rick’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and something like a Tombstone powerslam connects for the same.

Scott comes back in for a dragon suplex and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER (that will never be anything less than awesome). Bret has to make the save as Owen is DONE, with Scott sending Owen outside but Owen catapults Scott outside as well. Back in and the diving tag brings Bret in to pick up the pace, with a running clothesline getting two on Scott.

Both Harts try the Sharpshooter with Rick making a save but the Steiner Bulldog is countered into a victory roll to give Owen two. Rick and Bret are both knocked to the floor so Scott drops a top rope ax handle to put Bret down again. That’s enough for the double countout at 24:57.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness what a match, as you had four incredibly talented wrestlers in there and they all knew exactly what they were doing. The Harts were able to do their thing despite only having so much experience as a team. At the same time, the Steiners were one of the best teams in the world at this point and it was always fun to see them. Definitely check this out if you haven’t before, as it’s the only time it ever happened.

Post match the brawl stays on with referees having to break it up. Owen wants to keep going and Scott gets the mic, saying they’re here to win. The Harts get back in and the fight is on again, with referees and agents not being able to do much to stop them. Monsoon: “Is that Pat Patterson? Holy mackerel did he get fat!” It’s finally broken up but Bret grabs the mic to say they aren’t going anywhere and it’s on again. Eventually things calm down and everyone hugs as this is over thirty minutes from start to end, or nearly a quarter of the tape. That’s hardly a complaint for once.

Savage wonders where Yokozuna gets his gear made but thank Heavens for spandex.

From October 19, 1993 in Glens Falls, New York.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Mr. Perfect

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is defending and misses a charge to start, allowing Perfect to hammer away. A crossbody literally bounces off of Yokozuna but he misses an elbow. Perfect dropkicks him outside, where Yokozuna staggers into the post in a funny bit. Yokozuna starts to get back in so Perfect uses the rope for a low blow to stagger him again. The dropkick misses though and it’s time to start the slow chops.

Naturally the nerve hold goes on (with Yokozuna’s back to the camera, which doesn’t make much of a difference) until Perfect is knocked outside in a heap. Back in and Perfect manages a ram into the buckle but Yokozuna fights back, with Fuji demanding MORE PUNISHMENT. Perfect avoids a splash in the corner and Perfect strikes away, allowing a middle rope clothesline to finally drop Yokozuna. Fuji grabs the foot though and Yokozuna hits the splash in the corner. The Banzai Drop retains the title at 7:49.

Rating: B-. They kept it moving out there as the worst thing you could do with Yokozuna was have him out there too long. He was the textbook example of someone who was better in shorter doses and Perfect knew how to get the most out of their limited time. It was a nice match, as Perfect mixed things up a bit rather than just doing the standard punches.

Savage counts his hats (with some issues) and praises Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon’s fashion abilities.

From September 1, 1993 in Saginaw, Michigan.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending and talks a lot of trash to start, earning himself a toothpick to the face. Ramon isn’t having any of Michaels standing around and throws him into the corner, only for Michaels to get in a ram to the buckle. A middle rope spinning sunset flip is broken up and Ramon punches him outside to quite the positive reception. Back in and Michaels’ attempt at a dropkick is catapulted outside as Michaels gets to keep up the crazy bumping.

Ramon misses a charge into the buckle back inside though and a top rope clothesline takes him down. Diesel almost gets caught interfering and Michaels uses the distraction to get in a cheap shot. Michaels hammers away with the ax handles to the back, plus a knee drop to said back for two. The chinlock goes on to keep Ramon in trouble as the fans are staying right in there with him.

Ramon fights up and hits a quick chokeslam to leave them both down for a breather. The very delayed cover gives Ramon two and he knocks Michaels outside again. That’s enough for Michaels and Diesel to try the walk out so the referee does the “you leave and you lose the title” deal, making Michaels come back to the ring. One heck of a backdrop gives Ramon two but the belly to back superplex is broken up.

Ramon rolls through a spinning high crossbody for two more and there’s the fall away slam for…three, with Michaels’ foot on the rope. Another referee comes in to point it out (second time on the tape) so we’re continuing (at least it’s a bit different). Michaels hits a superkick for two but Ramon is back with the Razor’s Edge, only for Diesel to pull Michaels out for the DQ at 13:07.

Rating: B. These two could have a good match in their sleep as they always had incredible chemistry. It was another rather awesome match between the two of them, even with the slightly repetitive ending. It’s still a shame that Ramon never got a chance to do something bigger than the Intercontinental Title in the WWF, as he had more than enough fan support to give it a chance.

Post match Diesel’s distraction doesn’t work as Michaels’ cheap shot completely misses. Ramon uses the belt to knock Michaels silly.

From April 26, 1994 in Burlington, Vermont.

It’s the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler saying he begged and prayed for this guest to be on his show. This guest has had to sign a contract guaranteeing that there will be no physical contact. First though, Lawler announces that it’s Bret Hart, but he has something to say about Hart before he comes out. Lawler calls Hart out as a coward from a long line of cowards and mocks Hart’s parents. Hart’s mother Helen is the only woman he knows that has an autographed copy of the Bible. When Cain murdered Able, she was on the jury!

We hear about Bret’s issues with Owen before Lawler talks about how Bret was an ugly baby. Now it’s time for Bret to join Lawler in the ring, with Lawler mocking him for getting to stand next to the real king. Bret talks about agreeing to no violence…and then drops Lawler with a right hand. The beating is on and Lawler is sent flying. Bret even puts on the crown for a bonus. This was pretty long, but Bret messing with Lawler was always worth a look.

From February 22, 1994 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Shawn Michaels is here with Diesel, who slowly hammers away to start. Diesel sends him hard into the corner and gets in the boot choke as Polo and Monsoon argue over who should win (those two had some great chemistry together). Hart starts in on the leg and cranks away on the mat as Monsoon goes on a rant about Michaels chewing gum. Monsoon: “You could choke on it! Here I’ve got some gum. Do you want some?”

A spinning toehold keeps Diesel in trouble until he powers his way to freedom. Diesel sends him outside for a cheap shot from Michaels, sending Monsoon into another rant. The side slam (Polo: “Side something. Side order of fries. I’m getting hungry Gorilla.”) gets two off a very weak cover, sending Monsoon…oh you know by this point. Diesel grabs a bearhug, sending Polo into an explanation of his knowledge of Greco-Roman wrestling, which involves owning a Greek diner frequented by Romans.

Hart fights up and manages a knockdown as it’s already time for the comeback. The Five Moves Of Doom are on with Hart going after the leg, only to have Michaels get on the apron. That’s cut off and Hart gets the Sharpshooter but here is Owen Hart to knock Bret out. Diesel gets the pin at 10:39, sending Polo into a hilarious victory celebration for picking the right result.

Rating: B-. Diesel was still figuring out the singles stuff here so this wasn’t close to the stuff they would wind up doing later. The good thing is that Bret was able to walk him through it, even if it might not have been his most inspired effort. At usual though, Monsoon and Polo were the highlight here, as they were often hilarious together.

Savage praises Bret for being a future Hall Of Famer and the pink and black are the best colors he has, has ever had and ever will have. Savage knows that sounded goofy but you get the idea to wrap it up.

Join the WWF Fan Club! I would have at this point if I had seen that ad.

Overall Rating: B+. When Randy Savage is in one of the weaker matches, you know you’ve got something good. This was one of the better Coliseum Videos I remember seeing, with the Harts vs. Steiners match absolutely stealing the show (which the WWF had to know would happen). I had a great time with this and it’s a surprise effort from a bleak time in the company’s history.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the Redo’s picked for Survivor Series and in a way, that is rather odd. In this case, there is very little Survivor Seriesing going on, with just one elimination match, which happens to be a tag team edition. Other than that, we have a huge tag match as Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect face Razor Ramon and Ric Flair, plus Bret Hart defending the WWE Title against Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. Bobby is NOT happy about Mr. Perfect joining forces with Randy Savage.

High Energy vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. Samu shoves Hart down without much trouble to start but misses a crossbody. Hart’s crossbody and dropkick work far better and it’s off to Ware to work on the arm. For some reason Ware tries ramming their heads together, which works as well as you would expect. Afa gets in a cheap shot from the floor and Fatu runs Ware over with a hard clotheslines as the fans are not pleased.

The nerve hold (you knew that one was coming) goes on and another clothesline drops Ware again. Ware tries to fight up and is casually superkicked right back down (Fatu always had a good superkick). Back up and Ware avoids a charge, with Samu going head first into the post. That’s enough for the tag off to Hart to pick the pace way up. A high crossbody gets two on Fatu but Samu plants him with a powerslam. Fatu’s Superfly Splash finishes Hart at 7:40.

Rating: C+. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan and this was a good example of why. They did some things rather well (Fatu’s superkick and splash looked awesome) but they are a team where what you see is what you get. While High Energy was out there flying around and doing what they could, the Headshrinkers were out there to hit you hard and do their second generation Wild Samoan stuff. It worked back in the day and it worked again here in a nice opener.

Nailz, with that still weird deep voice, has been looking forward to hurting the Big Boss Man for a long time. Tonight, he gets the chance, with Boss Man unable to handcuff him to a steel bunk bed. Boss Man and his feel guards know what kind of a good climber he is! He committed no crime but tonight he’s ready to do horrible things to Boss Man with that nightstick. How Sean Mooney doesn’t crack up at all of this is unclear.

Big Boss Man doesn’t buy Nailz saying he’s an innocent man because he’s seen the file. His job is to make sure Nails serves hard time…and then he literally runs off to the ring.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Nightstick on a pole match with Boss Man charging to the ring as Nailz is already climbing. Boss Man slugs away but gets whipped hard into the corner. Nailz hammers away but it’s too early for him to get the stick. Back up and Boss Man goes simple by punching him in the face, only to get slammed off when going for the stick. The chinlock goes on (Heenan: “RIP IT OFF!”) but Boss Man fights out, only to miss a splash.

Boss Man knocks him down again and they both get a breather. They get up for a double clothesline and they’re both down again. That’s enough for Boss Man to get the stick and deck Nailz in the face but he shrugs it off. A right hand makes Boss Man drop the stick and Nailz gets in a few shots of his own. Not that it matters as the Boss Man Slam is enough to pin Nailz at 5:40.

Rating: D+. The nightstick doesn’t make much of a difference if it doesn’t make an impact and that was the case here. They traded nightstick shots and barely hurt each other so there wasn’t much of a point. Other than that, it was a slow brawl without anything important. Lame stuff here as Boss Man was rapidly running out of steam.

Ric Flair and Razor Ramon aren’t happy with Mr. Perfect turning on them to join Mr. Savage as Ultimate Warrior’s replacement. We see a clip of Savage picking Perfect and Bobby Heenan running his mouth to make Perfect switch sides. Heenan begging for mercy and for Perfect to reconsider is such a Heenan thing for him to do. Flair and Ramon swear vengeance on the now crazy Perfect.

Heenan goes on a great rant against Perfect as only he could.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

This is during Martel’s kind of sailing captain phase and he has some of Tatanka’s feathers to make this personal. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to start but he reverses and chops away. Some dropkicks have Martel on the floor, followed by an atomic drop to put him outside again. Back in and Martel grabs a hot shot (Heenan approves) to take over.

The front facelock goes on as we hear about Sgt. Slaughter being Jack Tunney’s official rule enforcer. Tatanka suplexes his way out of a front facelock but Martel puts it right back on. Cue Doink The Clown as Martel knocks Tatanka back down and grabs the same front facelock. Tatanka fights up and hits a clothesline before avoiding a charge to send Martel shoulder first into the post.

The arm cranking goes on as the fans are just silent here. An armdrag into an armbar cuts off the energy again as this just keeps going. Martel fights up and sends him to the floor, only to get punched out of the air back inside. Tatanka starts the comeback and hits the top rope chop to the head. The Papoose To Go finally finishes Martel at 11:07.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t awful, but instead really boring. Tatanka and Martel could probably have a good match that runs about seven minutes but there is nothing you can get out of that many front facelocks and then Tatanka working the arm late in the match. Not a terrible match, but it took me a long time to get through it as it was just that dull.

Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage know that Ric Flair hates them being a team. Perfect is ready to take out Flair and Razor Ramon, because Bobby Heenan knows Perfect can beat both of them. Savage says if the villains were mad before, they’re going to be even madder in a little while.

Ric Flair/Razor Ramon vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

Heenan is of course incredible here with his rants about what is coming to Perfect. Ramon and Perfect get things going with Ramon hitting a running shoulder. That doesn’t work for Perfect, who is back with a slap but Perfect bails from the threat of a double team. Flair comes in and is quickly taken down by Perfect, who chops away in the corner. There’s the Flair Flip to the apron, where Savage knocks him to the floor for a bonus.

It’s off to Savage for a top rope ax handle to the ribs, leaving a Flair fan (in robe) losing it in the crowd. Savage slugs away on Flair and the interfering Ramon, setting up that signature running clothesline on Flair. A cheap shot slows Savage down though and it’s Ramon coming in to slug away. Ramon can’t get anywhere with Savage’s leg so he goes with the choking instead.

Flair slugs away in the corner and it’s right back to Ramon for the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Flair tosses Savage over the top for a crash, setting up the running knee. Ramon grabs a kind of weak half crab….and Perfect is walking up the aisle. He sees Savage bleeding on the screen though and that’s enough to draw him back, much to Heenan’s annoyance.

With order restored, Flair gets two off a chop but Savage manages a desperation backslide for the same. Ramon comes right back in and grabs a chokeslam for two more on Savage. There’s a clothesline to put him down again but for some reason Flair goes up, earning a slam off the bottom rope for an extra big crash. The double tag (diving on Savage’s end) brings in Perfect to face Ramon as everything breaks down.

Flair chairs Savage in the head with a chair on the floor and Perfect is whipped into the referee. Another referee comes out as Perfect flips out of a Razor’s Edge and grabs the PerfectPlex. The new referee counts two as Flair makes the save so it’s PerfectPlex to him as well. The first referee counts two with Ramon making a save, meaning the villains are finally DQ’d at 16:30.

Rating: B-. It was one of the featured matches on the show but it was only so interesting. The biggest problem here is that the heat on Savage was rather long and then the ending felt like it was designed to set something else down the line. Flair and Perfect would keep going but Savage and Ramon were pretty much done, making this a preview for something that didn’t happen.

Post match the beatdown is on until Savage makes the save with a chair. Perfect gets the chair and clean house (Heenan: “SOMEBODY GET DOWN THERE AND STOP HIM!”). The announcement of the DQ gives us a classic THAT’S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR! Respect is shown.

Flair and Ramon swear vengeance.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna does his sumo stomps in the corner and knocks Virgil down without much trouble. Some dropkicks work for Virgil but he tries an O’Connor roll to limited avail. A superkick cuts Virgil down and Yokozuna slowly pounds away. Virgil’s comeback attempt is cut off by a side slam and the big legdrop makes it worse. The splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop to finish Virgil at 3:44.

Rating: C. Pretty much a total squash here and that’s all it needed to be. This version of Yokozuna was rather mobile and someone who felt like different kind of monster. It makes sense to put him out here to wreck a loser like Virgil and he looked rather dominant. Good stuff here, and the push is clearly coming.

Mr. Perfect has turkeys for Ric Flair and Razor Ramon. Bobby Heenan gets a little chicken.

Natural Disasters/Nasty Boys vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

The villains have the Genius/Jimmy Hart in their corner and if one person is eliminated, their partner is as well. Typhoon backs Blake into the corner and then shoves him into the corner without much effort. An over the shoulder backbreaker has Blake in more trouble and Earthquake comes in for a bearhug. A powerslam puts Blake down again and Knobbs runs him over to make it worse.

It’s off to Sags, who finally gets caught in the wrong corner so Beau can come in for a change. Sags hits a pumphandle slam (Vince: “What a wrestling maneuver!”) but Beau grabs a butterfly suplex. DiBiase comes in for a change but gets suplexed down in a hurry. IRS comes in and elbows Sags down so Beau can drop an elbow for two. The chinlock goes on but Sags fights up for a double knockdown. The tag brings Earthquake back in to wreck everything, setting up the Earthquake to Beau for the elimination at 9:26.

Earthquake runs DiBiase over and it’s Typhoon coming in for a headbutt. A missed charge actually lets Money Inc. manage a double belly to back suplex, followed by a wishbone snap. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by DiBiase’s middle rope ax handle. DiBiase’s middle rope dive into a raised boot lands on a raised boot and it’s back to Typhoon to clean house. The big splash hits IRS but DiBiase makes the save, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for the pin at 15:55. Then Sags rolls IRS up for the pin at 16:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly good but rather long with almost nothing worth seeing. There was a story o Hart losing Money Inc. and the Disasters as teams while the Nasty Boys wanted the Tag Team Titles but that wasn’t exactly thrilling here. This felt like lip service to having the Survivor Series concept and if that’s the best they’ve got, they might as well have just skipped it this year (which they seemed to want to do).

Randy Savage, Mr. Perfect and Tatanka are on the Superstar Line.

Heenan rants about Perfect again.

We recap Kamala beating up Undertaker at Summerslam, only to have Undertaker do the situp and scare him away. Undertaker wanted revenge and Kamala was terrified of a casket, so he built a really big casket. It was a simpler time.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Coffin match (win by pin/submission, loser goes into the casket) with Paul Bearer, Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman here as well. Undertaker chases him to the floor to start but Kamala chops away back inside. That’s fine with Undertaker, who strikes right back and hits Old School. Well not that old at this point.

Some shots to the face stagger Undertaker though and Kamala sends him outside for a ram into the steps. A chair to the back staggers Undertaker again but some chops don’t do much back inside. Three slams in a row set up a series of splashes but lets bring the Urn in. Kamala freaks out so Undertaker gets up and hits him in the head with it for the win at 5:28.

Rating: C-. Another not so great match as Kamala just wasn’t that interesting in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there was almost no way to imagine Kamala beating Undertaker, who was a major star and far out of Kamala’s league. The match was a way to wrap things up for Undertaker, who needed a new monster to slay. Much like the previous match, this was a way to get something (or someone) on the show and that didn’t make it interesting.

Post match Kamala nails the coffin shut and wheels it out.

Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels says he beat the British Bulldog for the title and since the Bulldog beat Bret Hart for the title, Michaels can beat Bret tonight.

Bret Hart says he’s ready to beat Shawn and add him to a list of recently defeated challengers (Berzerker! Rick Martel! VIRGIL!). We hear about how Bret rose through the ranks to get here and he isn’t ready to lose just yet, even to a great wrestler like Shawn.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Only Bret is defending. After the handing off of the sunglasses to a kid, Bret takes Shawn into the corner. They go to the mat with Bret easily taking control and sending Shawn bailing to the rope. Back up and Bret takes over on the arm, including some armbarring. We’ll make that some hammerlocking with some knees to the arm but Shawn is back up with a hammerlock of his own.

That’s reversed with a toss out to the floor, followed by another armbar back inside. Shawn slugs his way out of trouble, only to get clotheslined down for two. The armbar goes on again but Shawn drops him across the top to get a breather. Shawn sends him shoulder first into the post and hits a DDT onto the arm. We hit the chinlock for a good while, setting up a backbreaker into another chinlock.

Bret fights up and gets a neckbreaker but Shawn takes him right back down. Now it’s a front facelock to keep Bret down, though this time he’s back up with some shoulders in the corner. The bulldog out of the corner sets up the missed middle rope elbow and we’re back to the front facelock. Bret is up again and manages a belly to back suplex before sending him head first into the post.

There’s the backdrop (you know Bret can call that one) into the Russian legsweep for two, followed by the middle rope elbow for the same. A high impact superplex gives Bret a rather delayed near fall and they’re getting tired. The referee gets crushed in the corner…but is right back up. Shawn sends Bret outside and manages a posting, followed by his own backdrop for his own two back inside.

The superkick (not yet the finisher, or even named) doesn’t even warrant a cover so the teardrop suplex (almost an Angle Slam) gives Shawn two. Bret gets in a shot though and gets Shawn tied up in the ropes, only to miss a charge and crash hard. Shawn goes up but dives right into the Sharpshooter to retain Bret’s title at 26:39.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times now and while it is good, it really needed to be about eight minutes shorter. There is a lot of time spent just sitting there in either the armbar or the chinlock, which can get rather tedious. It got better near the end and Bret is a beatable enough champion to make this work, but it went longer than it needed to and that brought things down a bit.

And then Santa Claus comes out to celebrate with Bret to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The two big matches are good enough and they get more time than almost anything else on the show, but the biggest problem here is nothing really feels major. Bret vs. Shawn feels more like a really enhanced midcard match while the big tag match is….I’m not sure what it is but it didn’t feel important enough to be the featured match. It’s clear that the WWF is in a transitional period here and it’s really not clicking yet. Not an awful show, but nothing you need to see save for maybe some historical curiosity.

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

2012 Redo: C+

2023 Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
2012 Redo: C-

2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

2012 Redo: C

2023 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

2012 Redo: F

2023 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

2012 Redo: A

2023 Redo: B

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: C

Yeah Bret vs. Shawn just isn’t that great.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 10, 1995
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re still dealing with the fallout from Wrestlemania, which last week saw Shawn Michaels dumping Sid, earning himself a beating in the process. That isn’t going to go well for Michaels, whenever he’s back to deal with Sid. Other than that, we’re about a month away from the first In Your House and the show needs to be put together. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We preview tonight’s show.

Owen Hart and Yokozuna are ready for tonight’s six man tag. Hakushi stands there.

Opening sequence.

Commentary hypes up the show.

Adam Bomb vs. Tatanka

Ted DiBiase is here with Tatanka, who hammers Bomb up against the ropes to start. A single right hand knocks Tatanka outside, followed by a running clothesline for two back inside. We take a break and come back with Tatanka knocking him into the corner, followed by a DDT for two. Bomb fights out of a chinlock and slugs away, with the clotheslines sending Tatanka outside. They fight to the floor and that’s enough for a double countout at 7:43.

Rating: C. Not much that can be done with so little time shown and that kind of an ending. As usual, the heel version of Tatanka was just lame as he was the exact same thing he was before the turn, albeit with a lot less energy. I’ve always liked Bomb, but he wasn’t getting to do much in this situation.

Headshrinkers vs. Tony DeVito/Mike Bell

This is Fatu and Sionne (Barbarian) as Samu has left. DeVito rams their heads together to start and it goes as well as you would expect. A clothesline actually takes Fatu down but Sionne gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Bell gets knocked into the wrong corner and the Superfly Splash finishes for Fatu at 2:54.

Jean-Pierre Lafitte talks about having his treasure stolen and seems to want revenge.

Bob Holly won a race.

We look back at last week, with Shawn Michaels seemingly blaming Sid for the loss to Diesel at Wrestlemania. Sid laid Michaels out, and we see the beatdown, which took place during a break for some reason. Vince just walking away as Sid beats Michaels down is rather funny for some reason. Diesel made the save after some powerbombs.

Kama vs. Scott Taylor

Before the match, Kama holds up a gold chain, which is the melted down urn (that can’t be a good idea). Kama rolls him up for a fast two but Taylor manages a quick armdrag. Back up and Kama sends him into the corner and chokes on the rope, followed by a Vader Bomb for the pin at 2:43.

We look at Alundra Blayze winning the Women’s Title last week but then being attacked by an unnamed woman. As a result, Blayze needed surgery to repair a broken nose.

The 1-2-3 Kid, Bob Holly and Bret Hart are ready for the six man tag.

You can win a house!

Yokozuna/Owen Hart/Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly/Bret Hart

Bret and Yokozuna start things off with Bret slugging away and handing it off to Holly. Some arm cranking doesn’t do much and it’s off to Hakushi as we take a break. We come back with Owen coming in to kick Kid down for two before Yokozuna comes in for a nerve hold. Hakushi chops away and we take another break.

We come back with Owen waving the Japanese flag and Kid fighting back against Hakushi, which is enough for the tag off to Bret. Yokozuna gets knocked down for the middle rope elbow and it’s back to Owen. Some stops have Bret in trouble but he dropkicks Owen into a rollup to give Holly the pin at 15:32.

Rating: B-. They’re trying to make Holly into a big deal and while I can appreciate the effort, there is only so much you’re going to be able to get out of someone whose deal is he drives race cars. At the same time though, it isn’t like they have many other options so this is about as good as it can be. The Harts and Hakushi were both good enough here, but the match was hardly great.

We see the introduction of Lawrence Taylor’s All Pro team at Wrestlemania as a way to entire you to buy the replay.

Overall Rating: C. A bunch of squashes and a decent main event make this a rather 1995 Raw. The show wasn’t interesting around this time and taking Shawn Michaels out of the picture wasn’t making things better. The main event felt like they were trying to do something bigger, but it only got them so far.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 11, 1993
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

Last week saw Razor Ramon and Rick Martel as the final two entrants in a battle royal. This week, the two of them meet for the vacant Intercontinental Title, which is a pretty big deal to air on Raw. Other than that, the slow build towards the Survivor Series continues and there is work to be done. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video recaps the battle royal and previews the title match.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Rick Martel

For the vacant title. Martel poses a lot and gets a toothpick in his face. They fight over a hammerlock until Martel takes him down for the slaps to the back of the head. Martel does some jumping jacks before charging into the fall away slam (even Heenan saw that one coming). Back in and Martel gets in a shot of his own, only to be powered out to the apron. Ever the uncertain one, Ramon brings him right back in as the fans certainly approve.

The big driving shoulders have Martel in more trouble and Ramon grabs an armbar to crank away. Martel breaks out but misses a charge into the corner as we take a break. We come back with Martel sending him outside before whipping him into the corner a few times in a row. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Martel two so he knees Ramon into the corner.

The Boston crab goes on, with Ramon going straight to the ropes. Martel’s belly to back suplex sets up the Boston crab again but Ramon gets out again. A dropkick doesn’t do much to Ramon but Martel breaks up the belly to back superplex. Ramon rolls through a high crossbody for two and the Razor’s Edge gives him the pin and the title at 10:43.

Rating: B-. This was a good example of a match where there was no doubt about the result, but rather the question of how we would get to Ramon winning the title. Ramon is someone who has felt like one of the bigger stars in the promotion since his debut last year so this is a big step up for him. Good match, with the only possible outcome.

Headshrinkers vs. Tommy Morrison/Sid Curtis

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers, who take their sweet time getting ready. Samu backdrops Morrison to start as commentary talks about the Rock N Roll Express. Fatu comes in for the superkick and sends Curtis outside. Back in and a double clothesline drops Curtis and they drag him over for the tag to Morrison. Fatu’s top rope splash finishes Morrison at 3:49.

Rating: C. Not much to see here, but my goodness it was bizarre to hear Heenan talking about the Rock N Roll Express. Other than that, it was your run of the mill squash and that’s all it needed to be. The Headshrinkers were a team who could always work, and it was nice to see them showing that again here.

Owen Hart vs. Scott King

Hart works on the arm to start and pulls King into the chinlock. A monkey flip and dropkick have King down and Hart wrenches his guts with a suplex. Hart drops a middle rope elbow and we’re back to the chinlock. Back up and a missile dropkick into a northern lights fisherman’s suplex finishes King at 3:38.

Rating: C. As weird as it was to see Hart in what appeared to be something like the Blue Blazer gear, it was fun to see him doing his thing. At the same time, I’m not sure how well the bridging northern lights suplex is going to be as a finisher. Much like Shawn Michaels, drop the suplex and go with the (missile drop) kick.

Vince McMahon brings out Ludwig Borga for a chat. Borga doesn’t like America and insults the fans, suggesting that most of them work at McDonalds. He doesn’t like Lex Luger, who is a loser like everyone here. Cue Luger, and you know he’s serious because he’s wearing his American flag pants. Luger doesn’t like what Borga has to say about American when he’s happy to get paid right here in America. Luger goes with the classic “love it or leave it” and offers to help Borga leave right now. Borga calls him a typical hot blooded American and walks away. Savage: “You gotta be ribbing!”.

Adam Bomb vs. Russ Greenberg

Bomb has Harvey Wippleman as his new manager. Greenberg is powered into the corner to start and a jumping dropkick sends him to the floor. The slingshot clothesline into the Atom Smasher finishes for Bomb at 2:34.

Commentary previews next week’s Randy Savage/Crush summit.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Duane Gill/Barry Hardy

The Express’ Smoky Mountain Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Hardy hits a running shoulder on Gibson to start, earning himself an enziguri. Everything breaks down and something like a powerbomb/clothesline combination drops Gill. It’s back to Gibson to work on Hardy’s knee before the rolling double fists drop Gill. The double dropkick finishes Hardy at 2:20. Not much to see here, but the Express could do this match in their sleep. That being said, it’s still bizarre to see them in the WWF, as it never felt right.

We look back at Razor Ramon winning the title.

The preview for next week’s show takes us out.

Overall Rating: C+. This was the opener and then everything else, which made for kind of a strange show. What mattered here was getting the title picture reset with Michaels gone, but the rest of the show was only so much to see. The next few weeks should be getting us ready for the Survivor Series, and that should be enough to carry things until they get to Boston.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 12, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re fresh into the summer of Lex Luger, but first we have to take a trip to Hawaii as Crush is getting a WWF Title shot against Yokozuna. That’s about all there is going on here as last week’s show focused on pretty much nothing else whatsoever. Summerslam is a month and a half away so we’ve got a long way to go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Crush

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is defending and we spend over a minute doing the warmup ceremony. They fight over a lockup until Yokozuna slams him, only to miss an elbow. Crush knocks him to the floor and it’s time for an early breather. Back in and Crush strikes away but gets knocked down to cut that off fast. Yokozuna knocks him to the floor before grabbing a nerve hold back inside.

We take a break and come back with Yokozuna kicking him down and grabbing the nerve hold again. Back up and Crush avoids a charge into the corner and hits a dropkick, followed by a top rope shoulder for two. Crush goes up again but Fuji hits him with a flag (must be a Demolition thing) to cut that off. Back in and a belly to belly plants Crush, followed by the big legdrop. The Banzai Drop retains the title at 11:09.

Rating: C+. Yokozuna continues to be one of the most unique WWF Champions of all time as there was only so much stuff that you can do to him. Crush isn’t someone who can throw Yokozuna around (granted almost no one can) but he was mixing up his offense here. While Crush wasn’t going to be the big hero, he is someone who made for an entertaining and unique challenger and that’s a good thing to have.

Post match Yokozuna hits some more Banzai Drops, with Tatanka making a failed save attempt. Randy Savage, who is banned from getting physical, gets in to pull Crush away. Savage holds Yokozuna off with a chair as Bobby Heenan blames all of this on Lex Luger.

During the break, Crush is taken out on a stretcher with Savage going with him. Heenan goes on a rant about how this is ALL Luger’s fault.

Headshrinkers vs. Aaron Ferguson/PJ Walker

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers, who jump them from behind to start. Walker gets dropped hard and a heck of a clothesline drops him again. It’s off to Ferguson, who is knocked down just as fast. The double Stroke into the top rope splash gives Fatu the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. I’m a sucker for the Headshrinkers and I always will be. There’s something about them coming in and smashing through people, which is what we got here. What matters the most is that they were a team who could be put into the title picture rather quickly, which has been the case for the Samoan teams over the years. Yeah it’s a simple idea, but it’s an effective one and that’s good to see.

Next week: Marty Jannetty gets another shot at Shawn Michaels’ Intercontinental Title.

Tatanka vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Brawler poses on the ropes to start and gets backed into the corner, meaning it’s time to bicker. Savage gets back to commentary and it’s time to talk about Yokozuna and Crush rather than the match. Normally that’s annoying but…well what would you rather talk about? Tatanka knocks him outside as Heenan rants about how this is Luger’s fault. Savage: “DON’T SWITCH THE HEAT! DON’T SWITCH THE HEAT!”

Savage all but says this match isn’t important as Brawler kicks him down and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Tatanka misses a charge into the corner and Brawler rakes the eyes a few times. We get a rare shirtless Brawler as Savage wants to face Heenan next week. Tatanka gets sent into the corner, which triggers the comeback. The top rope chop into the Papoose To Go finishes Brawler off at 7:03.

Rating: C-. Tatanka wasn’t a new star at this point but he needed that long to beat the Brooklyn Brawler? I’m not sure what the thinking is here, as Tatanka is a big enough star who should be able to smash through one of the most famous jobbers of all time. Just a weird choice, though Savage ranting and raving against Heenan was great, even if they all but said “this match doesn’t matter”.

Some fans are on the Lex train.

Mr. Hughes vs. Tony DeVito

Hughes is on quite the roll here, having taken out Undertaker, stolen the urn and injured Paul Bearer. The bell rings and a black wreath is delivered to ringside. Hughes slowly pounds him down and grabs DeVito by the hair to pull him down. One heck of a whip into the corner sets up a splash for two, with Hughes pulling him up. A dropkick and chokeslam, which Vince says is reminiscent of the Big Boss Man, finish DeVito at 1:52.

Post match Hughes sees that the wreath is from the Undertaker so he rips it apart.

It’s the Summerslam Report, which mentions that Lex Luger is about to start a campaign.

Video on Men On A Mission. They rap and seem to want to make things better for kids.

Adam Bomb vs. Scott Amati

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb, who takes Amati down in a hurry to start. Amati gets thrown into the corner and then over the top, where Polo gets to promise more destruction. Back in and the Atom Smasher finishes at 2:32.

Commentary wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the Crush vs. Yokozuna title match but at the same time, there is only so much you can do when the main star isn’t on the show. Lex Luger not being around is a weird choice, but he’s on a bus so at least they’re doing…something with him. Other than that, Undertaker is stalking Mr. Hughes and I’m still going to need a bigger secondary story than those two. It’s just such a dead time for the company and you can really see why with these shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This is the old review of the year and that’s an interesting choice. The show has a double main event of WWF World Champion Bret Hart defending against his brother Owen to continue their awesome feud, plus the wholly unawesome Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker match. It’s the best of both worlds you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Randy Savage to welcome us to the show, held in the brand new United Center. Somehow, this is the only pay per view the company has ever run from the arena.

Jerry Lawler has some breaking news: Shawn Michaels and Diesel have become the new Tag Team Champions after defeating the Headshrinkers last night. What an odd time to do a title change, but 1994 was an odd time.

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

IRS and Bigelow have Ted DiBiase in their corner and this was originally going to be a title match. The Headshrinkers (Samu/Fatu) have Afa and Lou Albano with them, just to crank up the bizarre state of the show so far. Bigelow runs Fatu (not Samu Vince, though to be fair it’s a pretty easy mistake to make) over with a shoulder but eats the superkick for two. Fatu avoids a very early top rope headbutt and a double superkick puts Bigelow down again. Samu comes in, so Vince says Samu is now in, after saying Samu started.

Vince really wasn’t great at this whole thing. Samu starts cleaning house and ducks an IRS charge to send him outside. Back in and Bigelow low bridges Fatu to the floor but it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. The hot(ish) tag brings Samu back in for a BAAAACK body drop and a headbutt to Bigelow, which works because Samoans have hard heads. The middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS with Bigelow making a save. With Bigelow being knocked to the floor, the double Stroke sets up the Superfly Splash but Bigelow goes after Albano. That’s enough to draw Afa in for the DQ at 7:18.

Rating: D+. Pretty lame opener here with the lack of the titles taking away the little interest this match had. The Headshrinkers are good in their roles but Bigelow and IRS are a pretty generic team who don’t have much to do here. I’m still not sure what the point is in having the titles change early. Why not just do it the next night on Raw?

They brawl to the back.

And now, for your comedy of the show. The detectives from the Naked Gun movies are trying to find the Undertaker, complete with a bunch of puns and sight gags. Such gems include “we’re both on the case” as they stand on a briefcase.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Blayze is defending and Nakano has Luna Vachon in her corner. For those of you of a younger age, Nakano is a rather terrifying Japanese monster and Blayze’s archnemesis. We get the ceremonial flower presentation but Vachon throws hers at Blayze to really be a jerk. Nakano kicks her in the ribs instead of shaking hands but it’s too early for a powerbomb. A knee to the ribs cuts the champ off and Nakano throws her down by the hair.

We hit the chinlock (with Nakano’s back to the camera because she doesn’t know how to work) until Blayze makes the rope, which isn’t an escape you see that often. The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Nakano pulls her down into a Boston crab with both legs under one arm. With that broken up, Nakano puts on what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock.

Since Blayze hasn’t been tortured enough yet, Nakano switches to a cross armbreaker. Back up and three straight running sleeper drops have Nakano in trouble but she powers out of a piledriver attempt. A powerbomb gets two on the champ as the pace has picked WAY up out of nowhere. Blayze avoids the guillotine legdrop though, kicks Vachon down and grabs the German suplex to retain at 8:17.

Rating: B. For 1994, this was some insane stuff in America, especially for a women’s match. Blayze really was good but Nakano was one of the best of the era. She was big, strong, could wrestle on the mat and had the submission skills to be that dominant. Unfortunately these two pretty much the entire division for a long time so it could only go so far.

Shawn Michaels and Diesel brag about winning the titles because the Heartbreak Hotel needed some more gold. Diesel says Razor Ramon isn’t taking one of his two titles tonight. Razor has had a bunch of chances and tonight isn’t going to change anything.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Razor is challenging and has NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton in his corner to balance out Shawn. The white boots are a weird look for Razor. Shawn talks trash to Payton to start and Razor fires off the right hands, which look very good against someone Diesel’s size. Back in after a quick trip to the floor and Diesel gets in his own punches to take over. A sleeper slows Razor down even more and Diesel throws him outside.

Shawn goes for the turnbuckle pad but Payton chases him off, allowing Shawn to forearm Razor behind the referee’s back. I could watch Shawn outsmart people for days. Back in again and the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle but Shawn’s second distraction allows Razor to be whipped in. Diesel hits Snake Eyes onto an unexposed buckle as Lawler thinks the pad fell off the other one. A chinlock with a knee to the back keeps Razor in trouble and a big boot knocks his head off.

We hit the abdominal stretch, which at least looks more painful than a chinlock with a knee in the back. Diesel grabs the rope, making me wish we had Bobby Heenan there to explain why it’s more to avoid a hiptoss counter than to add more leverage. Razor gets out and sends Diesel ribs first into the exposed buckle, sending Lawler into hysterics as it should.

The middle rope bulldog (the Hall Buster) gets two and there’s a right hand to knock Shawn off the apron for a great over the top sell. A flying shoulder gives Diesel a breather so Shawn goes after the belt. Payton goes after him again and of course the referee yells, allowing Shawn to superkick Diesel by mistake. Shawn gets pulled outside and Razor finally crawls over for the pin to get the title back at 15:01.

Rating: B-. I’ve always had a mixed reaction to this one as the match itself is pretty good but Payton being out there was just a celebrity cameo that could have been anyone. Razor getting the title back was the right call as Shawn and Diesel are already having issues. They could have cut a few minutes out here, but what we got was still good enough and didn’t get sunk by the extra time.

Diesel yells at Shawn all the way to the back.

Savage talks about what we just saw.

Lex Luger and Tatanka are in the back. A fan poll has 54% saying that Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase and Tatanka is tired of hearing Luger deny it. We see a montage of DiBiase and Luger getting very close, but Luger still swears there’s nothing going on because DiBiase is lying. Tatanka is going to prove his story in the ring tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

There’s no DiBiase to start. Feeling out process to start with Luger running him over but not following up. Tatanka’s armbar has no effect so Luger puts him down again, only to miss the jumping elbow (as always). That means we get more of Tatanka’s lame offense, including the top rope chop to the head. The second attempt gets punched out of the air and Luger starts in with the clotheslines. Cue DiBiase with a gym bag as Luger hits a powerslam. DiBiase pulls money out of the bag as Luger yells at him, allowing Tatanka to grab a rollup for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline instead of the wrestling and that’s not surprising. Neither Luger nor Tatanka were going to have a good match at this point so the story was the only way this was going to work. Tatanka was a fine midcard hand but if he had even a slightly better offense, he could have been a much bigger deal. There comes a point where you need the wrestling to back up the character and that just wasn’t the case for him.

Post match Luger kicks the money out of DiBiase’s hands so Tatanka jumps him from behind, revealing that he sold out. I’ve always liked that story, as bad as the match was. What I don’t like is how long this goes on, as Tatanka beats him up three different times, capped off by the Million Dollar Dream. We get the money in Luger’s mouth for a little old school touch.

Gorilla Monsoon is aghast at what we just saw. Agreed. That money must be filthy.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is going to be a disaster. During the entrances, Vince and Jerry debate the detectives’ skills and if Lawler has any rhythm. Mabel tosses away a wristlock attempt (Jarrett’s sell is quite good) and drops the big elbow when Jarrett tries a drop down. A clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor so he shoves the rapping Oscar. That’s not going to get him booed as Oscar isn’t very good. Back in and Jeff scores with some middle rope ax handles but Mabel crushes him in the corner.

The spinwheel kick (the one good thing that Mabel could do) gets two as Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (the Brooklyn Brawler as a baseball player) is on strike in the crowd. This adds nothing and isn’t funny or interesting, but it’s a thing that happens. Sounds like 1994 as a whole. They head outside with Oscar getting in a slap and Mabel splashing Jeff against the post. Back in and the middle rope splash misses, followed by a missed sitdown splash to give Jeff the pin at 5:57.

Rating: F. Oh what were you expecting here? Mabel was fat and useless while Jarrett wasn’t exactly someone who was going to carry anyone at this point, especially someone that big. This should have been on Raw at best and comes off as terrible filler here. Mainly because that’s what it was.

Vince introduces the detectives in the aisle, blowing their cover. Undertaker’s silhouette appears in the entrance but they don’t see him. Because they’re bad at their jobs you see.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. This started way back in 1993 when Owen was the only Hart eliminated at the Survivor Series, which he blamed on Bret. Owen and Bret then teamed up to try and win the Tag Team Titles, but Bret wouldn’t tag out when injured, leading to a referee stoppage.

They went on to have a classic at Wrestlemania X with Owen pinning Bret clean. Bret won the WWF World Title later in the night and the feud was on for the rest of the summer. Owen even won the King of the Ring (just like his brother the previous year) to earn another title shot. Tonight is the big blowoff inside a cage. This really was a great feud as you could see Owen’s point all along and it built up perfectly over time.

Earlier today, Owen and crony Jim Neidhart (Bret’s former partner) were in the cage and promised to destroy Bret once and for all tonight.

Bret is going to forget they’re family tonight because Owen will be crying a river of tears, just like he did when he was a baby.

The Hart Family, including Davey Boy Smith, is at ringside and Helen can’t believe this is happening. Stu hopes the best wrestler wins and sounds as only he can. Lawler accuses both of them of causing all of this and thinks Smith will turn on Bret again. Lawler: “Wouldn’t you love to be in there with Bret again tonight?” Smith: “Uh, not really.” Neidhart is behind Smith and says we’ll see Owen prove that he’s the better man once and for all. Bruce Hart spins around and says stay out of this.

Bret, recovering from strep throat, says his condition won’t change anything tonight. What we’re going to see tonight is barbaric and nothing like what they did when they were kids. Everyone wants things to end tonight and Bret is going to finish it to heal his family.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Bret is defending in a cage with escape only to win. Owen goes right at him to start and hammers away during the entrances, followed by some hard right hands to the head. You can see Helen panicking over the whole thing and a DDT by Bret makes things even worse. It’s too early to escape though and Owen scores with some headbutts, followed by an enziguri to really rock Bret. He’s fine enough to suplex Owen off the cage and it’s a double knockdown.

Owen goes for the door so Bret bends him around the ropes for a save and drags him right back in. They’re setting up a good feel here with both of them going for the escape and being pulled back for more punishment. That ties in the idea of wanting to hurt each other but wanting to be the better man even more, which is really what this is all about. They both wind up on the top rope and slug it out with Owen knocking him down.

Instead of getting the easy climb out though, Owen comes back with a missile dropkick into a nipup. Both make some fast climbs up the cage but get pulled down for a crash each. A collision gives us another double knockdown as they’re taking their time building the drama, mainly because they’ve got the time to do so. It’s still too early for Owen to get out the door as Bret pulls him out, only to get pulled back down from the top for a hard crotching.

Bret is up fast enough for the headbutt between the legs but Owen pulls him down again. Owen gets closer to getting out than any other attempt yet, even getting his feet and legs out of the cage. Bret pulls him back in and sends Owen face first into the cage for a big knockdown. This time the climb is cut off by a belly to back superplex as the crashes and falls are getting bigger and bigger. A good piledriver plants Bret but he’s fine enough to catch a tired Owen again.

They both fall off the ropes this time for a breather until Bret catapults him face first into the cage. Owen has to literally dive over for a save and sends Bret into the cage, with the champ coming up holding his knee. The knee is fine enough to climb up and kick Owen away but he gets pulled back down by the arm.

Owen gets out again and you can feel the fans quiet down as he gets close. He’s pulled back in yet again and Bret kicks him down to the mat but it’s Owen’s turn for a last second save. Bret catches him in the corner and pulls Owen back down with a huge superplex (Bret always had a great one) and they’re both down again. Owen is up first with a Sharpshooter but Bret reverses into one of his own.

A little cranking has Owen down but, say it with me, he lunges over for the save by pulling Bret down hair first. They both climb and this time make it over the top, leaving them hanging on the side. Bret hits him in the ribs, causing Owen to slip and get tied up in the cage wall. That’s enough for Bret to drop down and retain at 32:18.

Rating: A+. I’ve had to say this about several Bret matches before but the wrestling isn’t the point here. This was all about telling a great story and that’s what we got. The thing to remember here is that they don’t hate each other but rather Owen wants to prove he’s better and Bret wants to shut Owen up. It explains why they weren’t trying to kill each other in what is usually a violent match. Instead, they were trying to win, which should be the case in most matches and especially one like this. Notice how the match ends: not with a big spot, but with Bret being one step better than Owen, which is the point of the feud.

It is slower paced and it does feel like they’re doing the same things over and over, but it’s a case of WHY they’re doing the same things over and over. They’re not trying to destroy each other and it really is about being the better man. Owen has gone off the deep end with trying to beat Bret, but it never felt like he wanted to hurt him. That might not make for the most exciting match, but it’s how things should have gone when you think about it.

Post match Neidhart jumps the barricade and clotheslines Davey, knocking him into his wife. Neidhart locks himself inside the cage and the double beatdown is on as Owen has completely snapped. The Hart Brothers storm the cage (always cool) but Owen keeps knocking them off. Davey finally punches Owen down (for a great bump) and gets in, sending Owen and Neidhart running as the rest of the brothers get inside as well.

In the back, Owen and Neidhart yell about how Owen should be the winner and Davey isn’t family. Owen: “Let’s go celebrate my victory!”

Survivor Series ad, making fun of football. Considering how meh that show was, I wouldn’t go that way.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Back in January, Undertaker was destroyed by about a dozen guys and put in a casket. Not to worry as he ascended out of the casket in one of the most ridiculous things you’ll ever see in wrestling. After being gone for several months (aside from some sightings, including by a young child in school), Ted DiBiase said he had seen Undertaker. Paul Bearer said no way but DiBiase brought him back, only to reveal that it was a fake Undertaker (played by Brian Adams, better known as Chainz). The lack of about three inches was a, ahem, dead giveaway.

With Undertaker succumbing to the power of money, Bearer went to the graveyard and said he had the real Undertaker again. After the lights went out one night on the King’s Court (Todd Pettengill: “Look at that brain surgeon Jerry Lawler.”), the real Undertaker said he was back and not with DiBiase. He would be around this coming Monday (at Summerslam) against whatever DiBiase had with him. This video gets well over five minutes as we need to get rid of the cage.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll identify them by the colors of their gloves: gray for the fake one and purple for the real. DiBiase brings his man to the ring but Bearer comes out with just a casket. There’s nothing inside though and the casket is wheeled to the back. Instead Bearer opens the Urn to reveal a light….and here’s the real Undertaker. That certainly seems to be worth the wait for the fans.

Purple shrugs off some forearms to the back and leapfrogs (!) gray, who falls to the floor. Gray stalks Bearer and gets suplexed back inside for his troubles, only to be sent right back to the floor. A Stunner over the top staggers Purple but Old School just isn’t happening. The real Old School connects and now Lawler believes Bearer has the real thing.

Purple misses a charge and falls to the floor as Vince defends the silent crowd. More right hands from gray don’t have much effect but a good looking chokeslam gets….no cover. Gray goes with a Tombstone for no cover again as he spends too long pointing at DiBiase. Purple hits a Tombstone of his own, followed by a second for good measure. A third finally gives purple the pin at 9:10.

Rating: F. Well what was that supposed to be? The biggest problem here is the match was really, really bad with the Tombstone being the only thing worthwhile from the fake Undertaker. That leaves you with about eight minutes of lumbering forearms and right hands as the fans had no idea what to make of anything because there was nothing to get excited about. This would have been much easier to sit through if it didn’t come after twenty minutes of build and a great cage match. For the life of me I’m not sure how they thought this was going to work, but it failed miserably.

Gray gets put in the casket and purple poses before the Urn’s flashlight.

Savage wraps the show up but throws it to the detectives, who find a briefcase. “The case is closed.” That ends the show. Summerslam mind you, ends on a sight gag. I remember watching this live and my dad tried to explain the joke to me because at six years old, this went flying over my head. What a great way to end a show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s certainly not the worst show as there’s enough good stuff to carry it past horrible, but my goodness they didn’t do themselves any favors here. There’s a reason that 1994 was one of the worst years in company history and this show was a good example. With the fake main event being such a mess, they’re lucky to have an instant classic in the real main event to bail it out. It’s watchable, but be ready to fast forward a lot.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2013 Redo: F

2018 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

I still don’t know how I got a B out of the main event before and I really liked the women’s match more this time around. Other than that, it’s about the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/07/30/summerslam-count-up-1994-the-last-great-cage-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4^th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.

We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.

Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.

Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.

The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.

We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.

Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.

Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.

Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.

A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.

Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.

Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.

Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.

Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.

Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.

1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.

I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.

Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.

Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.

Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.

The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.

President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.

Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.

Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.

Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.

Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.

Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.

Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.

A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.

Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.

Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.

Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.

Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.

Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.

Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.

Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.

Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.

Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.

Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.

Ratings Comparison

Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B-

Redo: C

1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.

Original: F

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: B+

Redo: B

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: C+

Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)

Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Original: F+

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C+

……I had no idea what I was doing back then did I?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/27/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1993-i-still-dont-get-the-ending/

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

With Wrestlemania XLI in Las Vegas (or really close to it), WWE is looking back at this show in ways that have never been done before. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some new appreciation for the show, as it’s not like anyone has ever really appreciated it before. It’s a double main event, though neither match is overly exciting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the location more than anything else, with Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the side of a casino.

Host Gorilla Monsoon introduces the newest WWF broadcaster: Jim Ross, who is rather impressed by some of the Roman set. Or he hates it. You never can tell with Ross. Either way, he hypes up the double main event and it still sounds wrong to hear Ross talk about Hulk Hogan.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra, who come in on an elephant. After they do nothing (though the elephant does stand on its hind legs), Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan with some vestal virgins. Then Bobby Heenan, who was supposed to be on the sedan, comes out (backwards) on a camel. Naturally Heenan makes this work, because he can make just about anything work.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Luna Vachon, is defending after Tatanka, with Sherri (Shawn’s former manager) beat him a few times in non-title matches. Heenan says Sherri won’t be here in Tatanka’s corner. Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” They take their time to get going before Michael’s single leg doesn’t exactly work. Tatanka comes back up with a hammerlock but has to power out of a top wristlock.

A headlock takeover out of the corner gives Michaels two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a belly to back suplex. Michaels goes up but gets armdragged out of the air (cool), setting up a Flair Flip in the corner. Back in and Tatanka starts in on the arm with an armbar as commentary is thankfully right there to tell us about Michaels having a bad shoulder recently.

Michaels fights up but misses a charge into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker but Tatanka drops an elbow instead of covering (Savage is not pleased with the lack of a cover). A top rope chop hits Michaels so Tatanka goes up again, only to dive into the superkick for a sweet counter. They go outside where Michaels hits a hard clothesline off the apron, allowing him to flirt with Sherri for a bit.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some rapid fire lefts in the corner. For some reason Michaels climbs onto Tatanka’s shoulders and that’s good for an electric chair. Back up and the superkick is blocked, allowing Tatanka to fire off some chops. Even Heenan is getting on Tatanka for not covering so a high crossbody gives Tatanka two.

Michaels gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up but gets powerslammed out of the air for a big crash. They fight to the floor, where Michaels misses a dive off the apron for a nasty crash. That doesn’t work for Michaels, who pulls the referee out to break up the countout, which is a DQ at 18:23.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end as they were just trading big shots. Tatanka was staying a step or two ahead of Michaels the whole way and if Michaels wasn’t such a big deal at this point, changing the title would not have been crazy. That being said, Michaels was clearly the prospect of the future here and protecting him made sense. Good opener here, which doesn’t feel nearly that long.

Post match Tatanka celebrates but Vachon jumps Sherri, leaving Tatanka to chase her off.

The Steiner Brothers are ready to face the Headshrinkers in their first Wrestlemania.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. JR debuts the term “slobberknocker”, which has Heenan right there with the jokes. Scott armdrags Fatu to start and goes after the armbar. Fatu isn’t having that and they slug it out, which is of course fine with Scott. A clothesline turns Fatu inside out so he goes to the eyes to cut Scott off. Rick tries to cut off some double teaming but gets dropped with a single right hand in something you don’t see very often.

The Headshrinkers make the mistake of turning their backs on the Steiners, who go up top (same buckle) and come off with a double Steiner Line (that was awesome). Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri in the First Aid station as it’s off to Rick, who gets chopped down by Samu. Scott comes back in and starts slugging away but gets caught in a hot shot, which goes a bit too hard and he crashes out to the floor.

Afa BLASTS Scott with his stick and they go back inside, where Fatu hits a middle rope headbutt. Something like a bulldog puts Scott down again, as does a standing dropkick from Samu. A Demolition Decapitator (minus the rope walk) gets two but Fatu misses a top rope headbutt. It’s back to Rick, who is taken down with a double Stroke. An electric chair is loaded up but Rick powerslams Fatu out of the air (GEEZ) for two in an awesome looking counter. Scott is back in with a belly to belly but Samu snaps off a great looking superkick. Back up and a quick Frankensteiner gives Scott the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. The more I watch this match, the more I like it, as you had four big, strong guys just laying it in over and over. They were absolutely beating the fire out of each other and it’s awesome throughout. That powerslam out of the air was great and I wanted to see them stay at it. Heck of a match here and we can call this an underrated gem.

Doink is thrilled with how well his “pranks” have been received, including ripping his ‘own arm out of its socket”, because only Randy Savage got the idea of a cast. Today he’s facing Crush, who might be….seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Doink wastes no time in spraying his flower at Crush to start, earning himself a slam on the floor. Crush posts him hard and they head inside for the first time, where Doink is whipped hard into the corner. Some shots from Doink just make Crush madder and they head back inside for a jumping necksnap over the top (Savage says “love it, love it, love it” over seeing one of his old moves).

Something close to a Stunner over the top staggers Crush though and Doink adds a top rope shot to the back. That works so well that Doink adds a middle rope version, plus another top rope shot to finally put Crush down. Another posting has Crush in more trouble but he powerslams Doink out of the air for quite the crash. A running clothesline sends Doink outside and it’s time to crawl underneath the ring.

That’s broken up so Crush teases the Head Vice, but the referee gets bumped. JR: “I’m concerned about the official who is lying there motionless.” Savage: “No he’s just out cold”. The Head Vice goes on and Doink is in trouble…but here is another Doink to hit Crush in the back with the cast. Two cast shots to the head knock Crush silly and we get a double vision deal. The original Doink gets the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly great but it did have a clever ending. The original Doink was a rather interesting idea and could have gone a long way before he went on with the stupid comedy stuff. This should have told you that Crush wasn’t likely going anywhere as losing, even via a screwy finish, in this spot isn’t a good sign.

Post match another referee comes out to check under the ring for the other Doink but they can’t find him.

Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers, who like Yokozuna.

Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Backlund offers a handshake to start but gets a toothpick thrown in his face instead. Ramon shoves him into the corner without much trouble but Backlund sweeps the leg a few times and bounces back and forth like Brock Lesnar would later do. Ramon goes with the power take over as we hear about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart earlier today. Backlund shrugs it off and hits a hiptoss, followed by a missed dropkick. A butterfly suplex drops Ramon and an atomic drop does the same, only for Ramon to small package him for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This felt way out of place, as Ramon went from challenging for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble to whatever this was supposed to be. I’m not sure why this was on the card but it’s one of the more bizarre matches you will ever see at Wrestlemania. At least it was short, but egads this did not feel like it belonged on Wrestlemania.

Money Inc. doesn’t seem worried about the Mega Maniacs. We look back at Money Inc. smashing Brutus Beefcake’s face with their briefcase, which got Jimmy Hart on Beefcake’s side. It also brought Hulk Hogan back to the WWF, but Money Inc. still isn’t worried.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

The Maniacs, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging and Hogan is sporting a REALLY nasty black eye (apparently from a Jetski accident but also possibly due to a backstage fight with Randy Savage, depending on which story you believe). The villains try to jump the Maniacs before the bell and are cleared out while Hogan’s music is still playing. Money Inc. is chased to the floor again and we finally start with Beefcake and IRS.

Beefcake gets taken into the wrong corner for some chops and DiBiase comes in for an elbow to the (masked) face. For some reason DiBiase goes for a shot to the face and hurts his own hand, setting up a double noggin knocker to bring us back to the 80s. DiBiase’s ram into the buckle has no effect either and Beefcake sends him into the corner over and over for some more success.

Hogan comes in for a few shots but it’s already back to Beefcake for the stomping. Hogan’s middle rope ax handle connects and DiBiase is sent outside. A poke to the eye cuts IRS off and Hogan sends him outside like a hero should be doing. Money Inc. teases leaving but are threatened with losing the titles if they don’t get back in. That means an eight count, sending Heenan into a rant about the rules being made up as they go.

Back in and DiBiase takes over on Hogan, with the champs getting in a variety of choking on the ropes. We hit the Million Dollar Dream and Hogan stays in it so long that he should be legally dead. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafters! But they don’t have rafters in the Roman Coliseum. What they have are columns and they’re hanging from them!” Hogan fights up so Beefcake comes in (no tag) and puts the sleeper on DiBiase, leaving him out cold as well. They both beat the ten count and Beefcake comes back in to clean house, only for DiBiase to hit him in the back with the briefcase.

DiBiase finally goes after the mask and gets it off, meaning Beefcake’s face is sent into a raised boot in the corner. Beefcake fights up and drops IRS but the referee gets bumped. The double tag (unseen by the referee) brings in Hogan and DiBiase with the former slugging away.

The big boot hits DiBiase and Beefcake hits IRS with the mask. We get a double cover so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out (it has black and white stripes) to count the double pin. Ever the morons, Hogan and Beefcake celebrate with the titles (Hogan slips on the ropes) and even Savage doesn’t think this makes sense. Another referee comes out to disqualify the Maniacs at 18:28.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what makes good guys in wrestling so dumb but my goodness this was stupid even by wrestlers’ standards. It might have come after being so bored by the match, which was just WAY too long and nothing worth seeing. Hogan being in a tag team doesn’t feel important in the slightest and Beefcake felt like a relic of the past here. Just dull stuff here and a pretty lame flop of a match.

Post match the Maniacs are annoyed at the other referee for calling the DQ and Hart throws him over the top. Hogan gets to pose while Beefcake and Hart stand around, leaving him to open the briefcase and find….a brick. And money. One of which is given to the fans. Well gee I wonder why they’re cheering Hogan here.

Singer Natalie Cole has absolutely nothing to say but the CEO of Caesars Palace is a bit happier to have the WWF here.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger and his bionic forearm. Luger calls himself a knockout artist and beyond perfection but Perfect has been hot at the tables this week. He’s ready to go deal with….the Lexissus? Perfect almost cracks up at his flub and says he’s going to go do it.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger has some rather scantily clad women with him and Savage seems interested. JR: “I’ve been to at least a dozen rodeos in Oklahoma and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that.” Heenan: “OF COURSE NOT!” The women hold up the mirrors and we’re officially ready to go. They take their time to start until Perfect hits a nice running knee lift. A shoulder puts Luger down and a running dropkick does it again, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor.

Back in and Luger slowly hammers away but Perfect takes him down and gets in the Robinsdale Crunch. The leg gets cranked on for a bit but Luger gets up and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. A backbreaker keeps Perfect down and a cradle with feet on the ropes gets two.

Luger hits a powerslam for two but Perfect’s sunset flip gets the same. Perfect catapults him head first into the buckle and slowly hammers away for two. A not so perfect missile dropkick gives Perfect two and they fight over a backslide, with Perfect’s feet touching the ropes, though the referee doesn’t see it, to give Luger the cheap pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Perfect being his usual athletic self but Luger was basically in slow motion. The Narcissist stuff never worked and that was on full display again. Perfect was doing his thing and I still really like him as a good guy, but there is only so much you can do with this kind of a situation.

Post match Perfect is furious and Luger knocks him out with the big forearm. This was possibly the long form setup for Perfect screwing Luger over the next year, which is a heck of a story if that is where they were going. Luger leaves so Perfect goes after him, shoving away Shawn Michaels in the process. Michaels jumps Perfect from behind and beats him down, setting up their Summerslam feud.

Heenan laughs about what happened to Perfect, which has Savage on his feet in anger for some reason.

Gorilla Monsoon hypes up the two remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. If that’s not enough, Undertaker comes to the ring in a funeral chariot with a vulture, because he’s that kind of awesome. They do the big staredown and Undertaker barely comes up to Gonzalez’s nose. Gonzalez shoves him down and chokes away, with Undertaker having to go to the middle rope to choke back. A low blow cuts Undertaker off but he’s right back with Old School.

Gonzalez gets in a beal to send him flying and we hit a standing chinlock. Undertaker finally fights up but gets sent outside so Gonzalez can slowly hammer away. The steps crush Undertaker again but he gets back inside, where a headbutt puts him down again. Undertaker strikes away and goes after Wippleman, who throws in a rag. Gonzalez uses said rag, which is apparently covered in ether, to knock Undertaker out for the DQ at 7:36.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was every bit as bad as you could imagine. At the end of the day, Gonzalez could not do anything in the ring to back up his presence. It’s amazing to see someone that size, but it only gets you so far when you can’t do ANYTHING once the bell rings. Throw in a stupid ending to protect Gonzalez and this was an all time terrible Wrestlemania match.

Post match Undertaker is taken out on a stretcher, with Savage implying that undertaker is dead (which….yeah kind of the point). Undertaker leaves so the fans chant for Hogan, which draws Undertaker back out to clear the ring. Cops come out to take Gonzalez away.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, which is all about Yokozuna being a total monster. Yokozuna has crushed a bunch of people with the Banzai Drop, including Hart, who did get up, though that’s not shown here due to reasons. Naturally this means we talk to Hulk Hogan, who has been firing Hart up. You really should be able to see it coming from here. Last night, some people attacked him at the gym but that’s not what matters right now. Hart is a Hulkamaniac but Hogan wants the first shot at either Hart or the (deleted Japanese slur). And that’s that.

Todd Pettingill meets some annoying fans.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging. They stare each other down to start until Hart hits a running dropkick. Some right hands in the corner don’t have much impact and Yokozuna runs him over to the floor without much trouble. Hart gets smart by tripping him down and getting the big leg tied in the ropes. Some right hands and a middle rope elbow have Yokozuna in more trouble but he’s able to get out.

One heck of a clothesline puts Hart down, setting up the big legdrop as the pace slows. A nerve hold has Hart down again but he fights up and gets a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog puts Yokozuna down for two but he’s right back with a superkick. The nerve hold goes on again but Hart avoids a splash. The Sharpshooter actually goes on (and it’s not a bad one either), only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna gets the pin and the title at 8:57.

Rating: D+. This is a similar story to the Gonzalez match, but Yokozuna is FAR better than Gonzalez could ever hope to be. That being said, Hart was still limited in what he could do, but some of the ways he was outsmarting Yokozuna did work. It’s far from a terrible match, though it’s certainly not worth a look outside of the title change.

Post match Hulk Hogan is IMMEDIATELY out there to check on Hart, prompting Fuji to issue the challenge for a title shot RIGHT NOW in an all time dumb move. Hart gives Hogan his blessing and yes we’re on.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Hogan is challenging and gets jumped at the start, so Fuji throws more salt, only to hit Yokozuna. The freedom loving referee is fine with this, allowing Hogan to hit a clothesline and drop the leg to win the title at 22 seconds.

Hogan celebrates to end the show as Heenan is losing his mind.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show deserves a lot of its reputation. There are all kinds of issues here, and one that doesn’t get addressed enough is the Roman Coliseum deal. It feels like some goofy fun idea and that doesn’t mesh with the biggest show of the year. Do this for something like Summerslam, but don’t try to make Wrestlemania into a themed show.

That’s on top of ALL the other problems, including some pretty dreadful matches and almost nothing that feels Wrestlemania worthy. Hogan coming in to steal the title and make Hart the afterthought of afterthoughts didn’t help either. This show somehow lives down to its terrible reputation and even the awesomeness that is the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers (easily the match of the night) can’t bring it up to even ok.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

It’s interesting that Hart vs. Yokozuna has been the same for all four versions but the show just is not very good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

March To Wrestlemania IX
Date: March 28, 1993
Location: Cumberland County Civic Center, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

The title kind of speaks for itself here, as we have about a week to go before Wrestlemania and this is the big final push towards the biggest event of the year. The WWF did some specials like this back in the 90s and that means we could have an interesting selection of matches on the way to Las Vegas. Let’s get to it.

We look back at the contract signing between Bret Hart and Yokozuna, with Yokozuna crushing Hart, who got up anyway to a big reaction.

Vince and Bobby run down the card in front of a green screen.

Yokozuna vs. Randy Savage

Yokozuna has Mr. Fuji with him. They take their sweet time getting going here with no contact being made in the first two minutes. Savage ducks a few lockups before getting shoved down, leaving him thinking twice about this. Yokozuna hits a running shoulder and sends Savage flying over the top in a big heap. With Vince praising Yokozuna as much as he can, Savage gets knocked down again as the USA chants are on.

Yokozuna keeps hammering away as commentary basically says Bret Hart has no chance at Wrestlemania. Savage gets in some left hands but a single chop puts him back down. The big legdrop crushes Savage but the charge in the corner misses. A top rope ax handle puts Yokozuna on one knee but Fuji shoves Savage off the top. Yokozuna grabs a belly to belly suplex for the pin at 6:37.

Rating: C+. This was designed to set up Yokozuna as the monster who is beating a former WWF Champion and that worked well. Savage’s comeback at the end was only enough to give him a sliver of hope and that’s all it needed to be. Yokozuna is the monster of monsters at this point and it’s clear that the company is entirely behind him, as they should be here.

Post match Yokozuna goes for the Banzai Drop but misses and….leaves. Well that was kind of stupid.

We look at Lex Luger’s debut at the Royal Rumble, with Bobby Heenan’s insanely over the top praise still being hilarious/uncomfortable.

Mr. Perfect vs. Skinner

Skinner jumps him to start as Heenan is VERY happy with the idea of Perfect getting beaten up. Perfect gets tossed over the top and Skinner gets in a bite on the floor. Perfect manages a posting, only for Skinner to get in a belt shot to the throat. A whipping ensues, with the referee having no issue with the foreign object. Vince goes NUTS, screaming that Heenan or Luger paid Skinner off to soften Perfect up before Wrestlemania. You know, because Skinner is a totally clean cut star otherwise.

Perfect’s eyes are raked over the top rope as Vince is AGHAST at this BLATANT RULE BREAKING! Perfect gets in a single shot though and the comeback is on, with the right hands in the corner having Skinner in more trouble. The knee lift lets Perfect choke in the ropes, where Skinner gets in an alligator claw to the face. Not that it matters as Perfect hits the PerfectPlex for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting here, with Skinner beating Perfect up until the comeback came through. It really does amaze me to see how easy Perfect can make things look out there, as it feels like he’s just waiting to turn it on and win in the end. That’s not a level of talent you see very often and it is more impressive every time.

Hulk Hogan is coming back at Wrestlemania. This was some over the top praise.

Kamala vs. Kim Chee

Before the match, Slick thanks the fans for their support for Kamala and promises that he is going to take out Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania. Not exactly as the match didn’t happen but it’s a nice sentiment. Kim Chee wants Kamala to walk back into the darkness but we cannot let that happen. Can Slick get a witness?

Anyway, Chee gets in Kamala’s face to start and seems to scare him, allowing Chee to hammer away in the corner. A slap to the face wakes Kamala up and he grabs a quickly broken bearhug. Kamala superkicks him down and the big splash, plus some coaching to turn Chee over, is enough for the pin at 2:11. That’s all it should have been.

Post match Kamala knocks him to the floor and steals the pith helmet.

We get a Wrestlemania music video in all of its 1993 glory, with various wrestlers giving some rather generic promos. That being said, this is the old Wrestlemania theme, with the OOOH OOOH, WRESTLEMANIA, PUMP IT UP PUMP IT UP (better known as Linda McMahon’s theme) so I can’t complain much. For some reason Big Boss Man, who wasn’t on Wrestlemania, gets two promos.

Vince and Bobby hype up the Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

We look back at Money Inc. attacking Brutus Beefcake, resulting in the return of Hulk Hogan to set up a match which does not feel important in the slightest despite being the second biggest match on the card. I was a huge Brutus Beefcake fan when I was a kid but this return run never worked. Much like Hogan in the early days of Raw, which never felt right.

Money Inc. vs. Reno Riggins/Jerry Sabin

Non-title and Sabin is better known as the Italian Stallion, right down to his trunks saying ITALY. The beating starts fast with DiBiase taking Sabin to the floor and hammering away. Back in and a double back elbow drops Riggins, followed by a suplex to do it again. IRS drops an elbow and the Million Dollar Dream finishes at 2:54.

Here are the Mega Maniacs (obviously in a different arena) for a chat. Hogan talks about Money Inc. hitting Beefcake in the face with the metal briefcase and he knew it was bad. He chilled, he goosebumped and he sweated from head to toe. It was so bad that he ran to the garage and got on Brutus’ motorcycle (which just happened to be there) so he could ride to Venice Beach and bury his ear in the sand. He heard (in the sand) millions of Hulkamaniacs praying for Beefcake.

Then he rode the motorcycle for seven days to New York City, where he went to the Ramada Inn and found Beefcake watching the Three Stooges with an ice pack on his nose. Beefcake talks about going to Florida with Hogan, where they dropped rockets (yes rockets) on his new metal mask and there wasn’t a scratch on it. If Hogan did one more pushup, those Pythons would explode.

Jimmy Hart recommends not investing money in Money Inc., whereas the Mega Maniacs will have new t-shirts, Nintendo games and posters. When they win the Tag Team Titles, their stock will go through the roof. Hogan says Beefcake is mad, with Beefcake saying he spent two days running up and down the aisles at K-Mart to find hair tonic. Then he went to the desert around Las Vegas, where he chopped down some cactuses (should be cacti) and mountains (no word on if it was with the edge of his hand), where he decided he’ll take Money Inc.’s hair out of their heads with his bare hands.

Hogan says he went fishing with his bare hands and caught some sharks, but they weren’t for eating. Instead, he’s filled the pool at Caesar’s Palace with salt water for the hammerhead sharks (and some mermaids). Beefcake is going to help Hogan open the sharks’ mouths so they can wrap the Tag Team Titles around their teeth.

That way, when they throw the bathing beauties and Hulkamaniacs in the pool (with the sharks), the sharks can’t hurt a hair on their chinny chin chins (of the bathing beauties you see). Hogan has two cases of suntan lotion and he wants all the female Hulkamaniacs to have an even tan from head to toe. Catchphrase and posing ensues. If you haven’t seen this promo, go find it somewhere, as the Ultimate Warrior would have thought this was totally insane. And then it just KEPT GOING as they talk for the better part of ten minutes.

We look at Tatanka pinning Shawn Michaels a few times, earning an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania.

Michaels is ready to play Tatanka like people get played in the Las Vegas casinos.

Tatanka vs. George South

Tatanka takes him down without much trouble as Heenan is insisting that Shawn Michaels is NOT in jeopardy. All this does is make me wonder how Heenan would have done as Shawn’s manager. Tatanka takes him into the corner but South gets in a few shots of his own. A ram into the buckle sends Tatanka onto the war path as Heenan rants about how he DOES NOT CARE about Sherri being at Wrestlemania. Some chops set up the Papoose To Go to finish South at 2:29.

Post match Michaels comes out to gloat so Tatanka wants to fight. Nah.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Control Center with Gene Okerlund, who feels out of place in the WWF in 1993. He hypes up the toga party (because that really was a selling point) and the double main event, with Bret Hart being tired of hearing that he has no chance. Yokozuna could lose a lot more than face at Wrestlemania.

Crush is on a boat in Hawaii and, in a rather odd accent, promises revenge on Doink at Wrestlemania. Then he dives into the water and gets some octopuses.

The Steiners are ready to beat up the Headshrinkers.

Beverly Brothers/Little Louie vs. Bushwhackers/Tiger Jackson

Jackson would go on to become Dink The Clown. After some stalling, Beau punches Luke down to start as Heenan wants to say something important. Vince asks for a drum roll before Heenan insists he will NOT be wearing a toga. Heenan: “Imagine Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. It’ll look like an unmade bed.” We get a four person bite chain until Luke threatens to beat up Louie. Instead Jackson dances and hits Louie with a dropkick.

A splash gets two, with Louie’s kickout sending Jackson into the referee’s arm. Said referee throws Jackson back onto Louie for two before they do the sequence all over again. Louie gets in a shot of his own and Butch comes in to yell at Blake but not actually hit him. Blake gets in a cheap shot and hammers away as we get a rare BUTCH chant. Butch works on the arm and we get a chase from Louie and Jackson.

Beau comes in off the top with an ax handle to take over on Luke and we get some assisted choking on the ropes. Another top rope ax handle connects and Louie gets in a slap from the apron. Luke gets over and brings in Butch to clean house, which isn’t exactly hard on the Beverly Brothers. Everything breaks down and Jackson hits a high crossbody for the pin on Louie at 9:57. Heenan: “I didn’t understand anything I just saw.”

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of that? None of these people are on Wrestlemania and they get almost ten minutes, or longer than any other match on the show. That’s such a weird way to go and it was nothing that you wouldn’t see on a house show. It felt like they had nothing else to use on the show and picked a random comedy match.

We look at Giant Gonzalez debuting and taking out the Undertaker.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here of course. Bigelow slugs away to start but Undertaker drop toeholds him down. The chase is on with Bigelow getting in a shot, only to get caught with a running DDT. Old School connects but Bigelow knocks him down again as we take a break. Back with Bigelow hammering away on the floor, giving us Undertaker’s stagger sell. A hard whip sends Undertaker knees first into the steps but he gets up.

Back in and a slam has Undertaker sitting up again, with Heenan wanting Giant Gonzalez to come out here and take care of Undertaker. Some elbows make Undertaker sit up again and Bigelow misses the top rope headbutt. The comeback is on with a chokeslam sending Bigelow outside and he walks out for the countout at 7:40.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse as they had a story here with Bigelow’s big man offense not being able to keep him down. It gave you just enough drama about whether or not Bigelow could stop him before walking out. Not a great match, but it made me want to see them doing something else.

Post match Giant Gonzalez comes out for the staredown, with Undertaker slowly going towards him. Referees break it up.

Vince and Bobby (who insists he does NOT have a tail) give us a quick final Wrestlemania preview to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s a reason Wrestlemania IX is so poorly remembered and a two hour preview for the show isn’t the best thing to see. This was a way to get people hyped up for the show, but then you realize just what you’re getting into. Throw in the completely out there mixed tag and the all time weird Mega Maniacs promo and this didn’t work. The decent wrestling you get is nothing worth seeing and the whole thing is kind of a mess as a result.

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Paul Bearer’s Hits From The Crypt
Host: Paul Bearer
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Johnny Polo

Sometimes you need some good old fashioned Coliseum Video and…well this is from around 1994 and that’s not going to be the top shelf stuff. In this case, we should at last have some good stuff in there. I’ve done this tape before but it’s been a good many years and who am I to question the WWE Vault? Let’s get to it.

Paul Bearer welcomes us from the crypt and talks about the THOUSANDS of matches he’s gone through to pick the following.

From Syracuse, New York, April 12, 1994.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Lex Luger

Feeling out process to start as commentary goes on a bit of a weird rant about Jerry Jarrett (Jeff’s father) having a big mouth and running back to the south. Luger grabs a headlock to start so Jarrett complains about a hair pull, which commentary does not like. Jarrett’s shoulders to the ribs in the corner just seem to annoy Luger so Jarrett goes with some arm cranking.

That just earns him a gorilla press and the fans approve, but then Luger just strolls around the ring, as tends to be his case. A clothesline out of the corner gives Jarrett a breather and commentary is on him about wasting time, ignoring Luger being far worse about it just a few seconds earlier. Some ax handles to the back keep Luger in trouble as commentary calls out Luger for his lack of fire. Dang you can hear the burial building and it’s only going to get worse. Lane: “Lex could be sick, he could be injured. He could be coming off a European tour and be tired!”

The sleeper goes on and Luger has to fight up after two arm drops. Luger powers up and gets a suplex before starting the generic comeback. A few clotheslines and an elbow into a powerslam (Monsoon: “Not all that well executed by Lex.”) sets up the Rebel Rack to finish Jarrett at 13:13.

Rating: D+. Luger might as well have been reaching out for the paycheck that was keeping him going at this point as there was NOTHING here that would make you want to see him again. It was the most generic offense (as always) and absolutely no fire at all, with commentary coming close to burying him. It’s no shock that he was more or less done as anything important, as this was a cross between dull and embarrassing to watch.

From Springfield, Massachusetts, February 2, 1994.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels with Diesel, is challenging and takes his time to start. They shove each other a bit before Ramon throws the toothpick into his face to really get things going. Michaels bails out to the floor for a chase before running the ropes back inside as we’re over two minutes in without any major contact. A leapfrog doesn’t quite work for Michaels though and Razor gets in a powerslam for two.

Michaels’ neckbreaker gives him two of his own but Razor punches his way out of a sunset flip, setting up the big clothesline to the floor. They go outside where Razor pulls the floor padding back but a Razor’s Edge on the floor is broken up, allowing Michaels to get in a hard posting. That slows things down a good bit and a slam on the exposed concrete has Razor’s back in trouble.

Back in and Shawn starts in on said back, including a top rope ax handle and a chinlock with a knee between the shoulders. That’s switched into a regular chinlock until Razor fights up, only to have his back give out on a backslide. The chinlock goes back on and Monsoon goes into an anatomy rant that has to be him showing off. Said chinlock lasts a rather long time until Razor fights up and hits a big running knee.

A backdrop sends Michaels flying but Razor’s back gives out to leave them both down again. Razor starts hammering but Diesel pulls him outside with Michaels joining in for the double countout at 11:28. Hold on though as Razor grabs the mic and says let’s see who the real champion is. Michaels eventually comes back in but Diesel’s distraction doesn’t work, allowing Razor to punch Michaels out of the air for two. The belly to back superplex is broken up and Michaels hits a nice superkick for two.

Back up and the referee gets bumped, meaning there is no one to count after the Razor’s Edge. Diesel comes in with a belt shot but the referee is still down. After a delay so long that it had to be mistimed, the referee gets up for two as Marty Jannetty runs in for the save. Somehow that isn’t a DQ so Diesel misses a shot at Marty and hits Michaels by mistake, allowing Razor to get a rollup pin at 18:54.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one, as you would think that a nearly 20 minute Razor vs. Michaels match would be a layup, but they tried to pack a lot into the end while not doing much for long stretches earlier on. The chinlock went on WAY too long and they had to lay around for a good while at the end, likely due to Marty being late. If you cut about five minutes out of this, it’s far better, though I kept waiting on one of them to grab a ladder as those matches are so much more famous.

Bearer takes us to a dressing room which was used by people like WC Fields and Harry Houdini. Ok then.

From Syracuse, New York on April 12, 1994.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel

Luna Vachon and Oscar are here too as I wonder what I did so wrong to wind up here. Bigelow jumps him to start and nearly knocks the….whatever it is that he’s wearing. Mabel is back with an elbow, only to miss an elbow drop. An armdrag of all things takes Bigelow down and Mabel grabs an armbar as it’s already time for a breather. The armbar goes to the mat before Mabel manages a suplex, only to miss a splash.

Bigelow enziguris him to the floor where Oscar runs away from Luna (smart man). Commentary compares Mabel’s hair to Bigelow’s tattoos as Mabel slowly gets back inside. Bigelow grabs an armbar as Monsoon says that it’s hard to see where one ends and where the other starts. No Gorilla, it really isn’t.

An armdrag into another armbar has Mabel down as Lane is mocking Luna’s facial tattoos. Mabel fights up and gets in an armdrag, followed by a not so great dropkick. The spinwheel kick (it didn’t get much air) sets up a splash to Bigelow in the corner, only for him to break up a bulldog as this keeps going. A better than expected Cactus Clothesline leaves them on the floor and a rather fast ten count is a double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D. Oh like this was ever going to be good. Bigelow was trying here but there is only so much you can do with someone Mabel’s size. It was slow and very plodding with a lot of laying around in between the moves that didn’t go well. The WWF LOVES this kind of match though and I can see why live fans would have some fun with it, but dang it does not exactly hold up well.

Bearer says we’ve all been following the Headshrinkers vs. the Quebecers but he recaps it for us anyway.

From Burlington, Vermont on April 26, 1994 and actually from the May 2 Raw.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Headshrinkers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Fatu and Pierre start things off as Vince thinks there are some Quebecers fans around here because we’re so close to Canada. They shove each other around to start with Fatu being rather excited. Fatu runs him over and it’s off to Jacques vs. Samu and a rake of the eyes lets the villain take over. Everything breaks down and the Quebecers are knocked outside, which is enough for them to walk out.

That’s enough for the referee to say get back in here or it’s a title change. The Quebecers do run back in, break the count, and then head outside again and we take a break. Back with Pierre getting knocked around as Savage seems to want a sandwich. Jacques gets in a knee from the apron to take over and the big clothesline turns Fatu inside out. A ram into the steps has Fatu in trouble and it’s a clothesline/legsweep combination for two. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Fatu for two more and we’re clipped to Fatu managing a backdrop over the top.

Naturally that means it’s time to put the camera on the commentators, with the tag back to Samu bringing us back to the ring. That’s cut off in a hurry though as Samu’s head gets caught in the ropes to slow him down. A piledriver puts Samu down but the top rope Cannonball misses. Polo tries to get up but gets dropped by Afa and Captain Lou Albano. Jacques accidentally decks Pierre, who hits him right back. The double Stroke into the Superfly Splash gives Fatu the pin and the titles at 19:30.

Rating: C-. I was always a Headshrinkers fan but this didn’t work out very well. Other than Pierre getting some crazy height on the Cannonball, there wasn’t much to be seen here. It was just a kind of dull match, though seeing a title change on a tape like this is a cool bonus. Just have a better match next time.

From Poughkeepsie, New York on March 21, 1994, from the April 4 Raw.

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

Wrestlemania X rematch with Earthquake powering him out of the ring to start. Bomb misses a big swing and gets clotheslined back down for his efforts. Another knockdown works for Bomb and an elbow gets two. Earthquake does his best Andre impression by being tied up in the ropes but we pause for Howard Finkel to stare Harvey Wippleman down. Bomb misses another elbow but so does Earthquake. A top rope clothesline gives Bomb two but Earthquake hits a nice belly to belly. Another elbow (geez) and legdrop set up the Earthquake from Earthquake for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D+. Well that was a lot of missed elbows. Seriously there were probably five of them missing in a match that wasn’t even five minutes long. It isn’t a good sign when the match is this long and somehow worse than their really short match at Wrestlemania. Also, Earthquake winning again in 1994 is bizarre to see.

Bearer has apparently been in a theater and recaps what we have been seeing. He could be completely cut out of this and nothing would be lost. And he’s not even in a crypt!

From Utica, New York on April 11, 1994 on the April 18, 1994 Raw.

Bret Hart vs. Kwang

Hart’s WWF Title isn’t on the line. Kwang hammers away to start and kicks Hart in the face before spraying the green mist into the air (not slime Vince). Hart fights up and takes over onto the arm, including some armdrags into an armbar. That’s broken up and Hart is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Kwang hitting a running spinwheel kick in the corner and getting two off a snapmare (yes a snapmare). The nerve hold goes on as Owen Hart calls in, with Bret fighting up and hitting a quick crossbody. Owen calmly talks about how he’s going to beat Bret in a Wrestlemania rematch as Bret fights back and hits a few Moves Of Doom. The Sharpshooter finishes Kwang off at 10:18.

Rating: C. Well that was short and to the point. This was little more than a reason to have Owen call in and to get Bret on the tape. That makes for a weird moment though as this was about setting up an upcoming Raw match, which you wouldn’t be able to see if you were watching the tape later. It doesn’t help that it was a nothing match with Kwang not being much of a challenge in any way.

From Rochester, New York on April 13, 1994.

Quebecers/Jeff Jarrett vs. Men On A Mission/Doink The Clown

Monsoon forgets that Ray Rougeau has retired and it’s Doink dropping a right hand on Jacques to start. Jarrett gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to stomp away as commentary points out that the Quebecers’ titles aren’t on the line. You couldn’t put this match before the title change on the same tape? Mo comes in to trade shoulders with Pierre, who easily takes over with a big running shoulder (that looked good), only to charge into a spinebuster.

Doink comes in but gets stomped down as the alternating beating begins. A big toss sends Doink throat first onto the top rope and Pierre gets backdropped onto him for two. Jarrett’s dropkick in the corner sets up more choking and Doink is about to lose his hair. Monsoon: “HEY DOINK! GET OUT!” A sunset flip gives Doink one and he is immediately stomped right back down.

Doink finally gets a boot up to knock Pierre away and the tag…well it should bring in Mable as the referee didn’t see it despite looking right at them. Monsoon is calling for Mabel to come in and drag Doink to the right corner as Jacques gets two off a piledriver. Doink gets up and brings in Mabel to clean house without much effort. A clothesline sets up the double splash to pin Jacques 11:33.

Rating: D+. This tape is getting to the point of horrible with one dull match after another. Here we had Doink getting beaten up for a good while, with Monsoon getting annoyed at the whole thing (and forgetting who was Mo and who was Oscar). Mabel was the big wrecking ball at the end but it was a really dull path to get there.

Paul Bearer talks about going to the theater with Undertaker on cold nights.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on February 2, 1994.

Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Yokozuna/Crush

Savage is banged up but Monsoon insists that he was going to wrestle after putting his “John Henry” on the contract. Luger and Yokozuna start things off with Yokozuna punching him down. Some running clotheslines rock Yokozuna but he drops Luger with a single clothesline. Savage comes in to work on the arm and the good guys change without a tag when Crush tries to cheat.

Yokozuna pulls Luger over to the corner for the tag to Crush, who takes over rather quickly. It’s already back to Savage, who gets distracted by Mr. Fuji and beaten down into the corner as things slow back down. Crush grabs a bodyscissors as this couldn’t be more of a “yeah we’re doing the match, don’t expect anything else” match if it tried, because they aren’t exactly doing so.

Yokozuna comes in for the nerve hold (with his back to the camera because this wasn’t a TV match. The big charge misses in the corner and Savage…well eventually goes towards the right corner but takes so long that Crush cuts him off. Crush goes up top but misses a….I think we’ll say knee, allowing the tag off to Luger. That’s cut off almost immediately but Savage gets in a salt bucket shot to Crush for the pin at 12:21. Yeah what a hero.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was lame as CRUSH was probably working the hardest here. No one cared in the slightest out there and the match just came and went. I know it’s the last match of the night and the fans are ready to go home, but sweet goodness, a bit of effort should not be too much to ask. Horrible stuff.

Bearer sets up the main event, thank goodness.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on November 30, 1993.

Undertaker vs. Crush

Crush doesn’t even get an entrance here to show you how important this is. Commentary makes impotence jokes as we get a staredown to start. Crush hammers away but gets caught with a running DDT as the pace is already slowing. An elbow drop misses and it’s a clothesline to put Undertaker on the floor, only for him to grab the Stunner over the top.

Old School connects before Undertaker misses the jumping clothesline (that looked weird). Crush superkicks him outside as Johnny Polo wants to know the difference between a thrust kick and a crescent kick. Some chair shots put Undertaker down and the slow strikes ensue. A ram into the corner wakes Undertaker up for some reason but Crush cuts him off with a backbreaker.

The posing lets Undertaker sit up, with Polo freaking out because it takes so long for Undertaker to sit up that you can pin him. Crush does some military presses (geez) and drops a leg but Undertaker sits up again. For some reason Crush tries a Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to give Undertaker the win at 7:02.

Rating: C-. First and foremost: Johnny Polo came as close to saving this as he was HILARIOUS, with the running gag about covering Undertaker before the situp being great stuff and seemingly accurate. Other than that, they didn’t do much here but Crush’s military presses were impressive and Undertaker can do some good things with just about anyone. Somehow this was a better match than almost anything on the tape, which shows you just how bad things are going here. It wasn’t a great or even good match, but at least it was a nicer (on a sliding scale) way to end things.

Bearer wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D-. When Kwang is in the second best match out of two hours, there is not much wroth seeing on this stupid tape. This was one of the worst releases I’ve ever seen from Coliseum Video as there was no reason for it to be this bad. You could see how bad things were for the WWF around this time and egads this was a perfect showcase of why. Bad wrestling, few stars to get behind and just….what was supposed to be good here? Absolutely awful stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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