Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2002
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a request I got months ago and I’m able to get at it here. This would be just after Wrestlemania 18 and HHH is world champion. He has a match tonight against Angle which is the only thing I can see on this card worth watching. Actually scratch that as we have Edge vs. Jericho too. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Angle to open the show. He complains about Hogan getting the title shot at Backlash because no one wants to see it. Taz agrees with Kurt but the rest of the people don’t seem to think so. Angle talks about being in the Olympics and beating Russians and Iranians tougher than Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik. On top of THAT, Angle was left out of the #1 contender’s match on Raw, so there’s no shot for Angle for a long time.

Kurt says he’s better than anyone on Raw or Smackdown and he’s going to prove that tonight in his non-title match against HHH. Angle gets annoyed at the WHAT chants (oh, he has no idea what’s coming does he) and thinks the fans are just rude. Back when he was in Atlanta, the people had respect for him, unlike here in Tucson. Angle says that instead of saying WHAT, the fans should say IT’S TRUE. Guess what they chant every time he says this?

Edge finally pops up to calm Angle down because he’s “fun-loving” now. Apparently Angle busted him open with a chair last week. I miss the vertical name graphics this show used to have. Edge says that Angle winning a gold medal was inspiring, it was breath taking, and it was SIX YEARS AGO. However, since Angle doesn’t have a title match anytime soon, how about they have a match at Backlash? Angle is cool with that and the deal is made. Edge says it’s a date (and that Angle doesn’t hear that very often). He has an idea too: how about instead of chanting WHAT, they should chant YOU SUCK.

Post break Angle is in the back when Jericho comes in. They talk some trash about Edge with Angle saying there’s nothing he hates more than a loud mouthed blonde haired Canadian who dresses like a rock star. “Well except for you. You’re cool.” They agree to form a pact against Hogan and Edge.

Hurricane vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is very evil here and has his girlfriend Torrie Wilson in a very discreet kimono. Hurricane blocks a wheelbarrow suplex and armdrags Tajiri out to the floor for a BIG flip dive to take over. Back in and Tajiri rolls through a sunset flip and kicks the green out of Hurricane’s hair before dropping a knee for two.

The handspring elbow misses and Hurricane heads to the floor, only to be taken down by a quick rana from the apron. Back in again and Hurricane hits one of his own, only to miss a charge in the corner. The Tarantula doesn’t work so there’s the Eye of the Hurricane for two. Not that it matters as Hurricane gets his head kicked off for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is what Smackdown was known for back in the day: fast paced and exciting matches. Tajiri and Hurricane were two guys you could throw out there for something like this and have an entertaining match because both guys were young and talented. That’s something you almost NEVER get today because you don’t have quick matches which don’t mean much like this anymore. Now everything has some bigger purpose and it’s kind of tiring.

Post match Tajiri yells at Torrie for no apparent reason until Billy Kidman runs out for the save.

Stacy goes to look for Vince but finds an empty office and a couch. Apparently Vince is hiring an assistant or something tonight.

Albert vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

I believe this is the debut of Albert’s (Tensai) small black trunks which don’t work that well on a monster. This is also Albert’s re-debut as a heel after he turned on Scotty last week. Albert goes right for him to start and pounds on Scotty in the corner. I don’t see this lasting long. The slingshot into the bottom ropes gets two but Albert misses a charge into the corner. After a token dropkick and WORM attempt later, it’s the bicycle kick (Brogue Kick) and chokebomb to complete the squash for Albert.

Post match Rikishi makes a save, setting up a match which never happened on Smackdown.

Vince finds Stacy and we get the innuendo you’ve known to come and tolerate from the boss. The auditions for the assistant’s position are in the ring later tonight.

In the back, fashion consultant Rico makes fun of Maven until Al Snow, Maven’s trainer, makes the save. Billy and Chuck pop in to tease a brawl.

Hogan says he wants one more run but HHH is very awesome. Trips is a tough dude for coming back from such a bad injury and beating Jericho at Wrestlemania. Since you can’t say someone’s name in wrestling without them appearing, here’s Jericho to say Hogan has nothing to lose, but HHH has everything to lose. Hulk starts a-ponderin’.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Edge is on the brink of something huge at this point so the solution was to put him against guys like Jericho and Angle who could make him look awesome while making him look WAY better in the ring than he was capable of on his own. It’s a tested philosophy and it’s worked nearly every time. The pop for Edge is great here as the girls and the young adults go NUTS. I was a big Edgehead back in the day before he became the more famous version of himself.

Jericho takes over with some chops against the ropes to start but Edge comes back with a spinwheel kick and a faceplant to take over. Chris is sent to the floor and onto the announce table with Edge pounding away. He’s much more aggressive than he used to be, but somehow he’s fun-loving now. Back in and a top rope crossbody gets two for Edge but Jericho comes back with a clothesline to take over.

After choking on the ropes and the running crotch attack in 619 position, Jericho gets two off a suplex. This is a weird period for Jericho as he was still a former world champion but he was crushed so badly at Wrestlemania that it basically knocked him down into the upper midcard. This put him in a no man’s land between the main event style and midcard style and it didn’t work well at all. Edge comes back with a whip into the corner and both guys are down.

Edge starts his comeback with some clotheslines but a middle rope sunset flip is countered into a Walls attempt which is countered into a rollup for two. Edge hits his half nelson facebuster but here’s Angle for unseen interference. A spear puts him down but Jericho hits the bulldog, only to have the Lionsault hit knees.

Edge hits a catapult to send Jericho into the referee, meaning there’s no one to see Jericho tap to the Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter). For reasons I’ll never understand, Edge lets it go instead of cranking on it until the referee wakes up. Jericho goes to the floor for a chair but gets speared down for two. Angle snaps Edge’s neck over the top rope, allowing Jericho to get a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho didn’t do much for me at this point. He was still smooth in the ring but this period of his career is always pretty lame for me. It would turn around in a big way in 2004, but that would be nearly two years away. Edge looked good and it’s definitely not a bad match, but it never got that far off the ground.

Post break, Angle and Jericho beat up Edge in the back until Hogan makes the save to set up a tag match.

Time for Vince’s job interviews. He sends a stereotypical secretary and a man away before getting a somewhat decent looking blonde. There’s a desk in the ring and all that jazz. The fans have no tolerance for this and wants puppies. Vince says this chick can have the job unless someone has an offer he can’t refuse. Cue Stacy (in Ms. Hancock attire) and one table dance later she gets the job.

Post break we meet Reverend D-Von who asks Vince to be his benefactor to save the world from its sins. Vince agrees, oddly enough. D-Von as a preacher went nowhere but it did accomplish one major thing: he debuted a helper a few weeks later. The helper’s name: Batista.

We go to the parking lot where Mark Henry is going to try to hold back a limo with his legs only for thirty seconds. Wrestlers take bets on it because they’re not important enough to be on the show otherwise. Test is going to be behind the wheel of the limo which is about the extent of his talents. Henry holds it back but after thirty seconds, Test keeps on the accelerator, making everyone mad at him. Test? Being a jerk? Really?

Al Snow vs. Chuck

Let’s get this over with. Snow gets stomped into the corner but comes back with a cross body for two. Rico gets involved quickly to let Chuck take over with a clothesline and a pair of suplexes for two. Snow makes a quick comeback and loads up the Snowplow (scoop brainbuster) but Billy trips him up. Maven chases Billy away as Chuck gets two off the Jungle (super) kick. Snow pops up and Snowplows him for the pin.

Rating: D. Next. No seriously, get me to the next thing on the show. There’s nothing to talk about here.

Hogan comes up to HHH in the back and offers to have his back in the main event if Jericho interferes. HHH reminds Hogan that they’re fighting in ten days so he wants nothing to do with Hogan. The champ (HHH) rambles on for a bit about what it means to be champion and turns heel for the sake of this feud. They have zero chemistry together but whatever.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Non-title. They trade headlocks to start with no one going anywhere at all. A quick Pedigree is loaded up but Angle reverses into a sunset flip, with the trunks being pulled to the side in the process. We head to the floor with Angle sending HHH into the steps to take over again. Kurt rolls some Germans back inside and adds a belly to belly for two more. Angle tries a sleeper for a bit but gets suplexed down and DDTed for two.

The high knee puts Angle down but Trips charges into an elbow in the corner. This isn’t exactly riveting stuff. The spinebuster hits for two on Angle as Jericho pulls the referee out. Angle gets caught in a Pedigree but Jericho breaks it up by hitting a Lionsault on HHH, which presumably would hurt Angle as well but whatever. Hogan comes out for the save and after a beatdown he takes out both villains. A Pedigree is enough to finish Angle.

Rating: D+. This was another slow and not very good match. They had already had their big showdown at No Way Out and HHH was an even bigger star now than he was then, so what were we supposed to think was going to happen here? The match wasn’t terrible but it was pretty lackluster stuff.

HHH glares at Hogan for coming out but gets knocked into Hulk, triggering a brawl. Hogan lays out HHH (shocking no?) but gets beaten down by Angle and Jericho to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’ve seen worse, but thank goodness the Brand Split would kick in full soon after this. At the end of the day, Hogan vs. HHH was a very uninteresting feud and it was backed up by feuds such as Albert vs. Rikishi and Snow/Maven vs. Billy and Chuck. We eventually traded that in for Guerrero, Benoit, Chavo, Mysterio, the rookie monster Brock Lesnar, and this kid named Cena who would debut soon. See why Smackdown in 2002 was so revered?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for only $5 at:

Wrestlemania XXIX
Date: April 7, 2013
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 80,676
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We have arrived at the biggest night of the year. The main events is John Cena vs. The Rock II for the WWE Championship. If that isn’t enough for you to get into this, we also have Brock vs. HHH II, Undertaker vs. Punk and Del Rio vs. Swagger for the Smackdown Title. The show looks great, the matches look good, the WWE is going home, and it’s Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Miz is challenging. This match was set up because both guys had movies out at the same time but that has since been dropped. Miz beat Barrett on Raw a few weeks ago as well. Miz escapes a belly to back suplex to start and gets two off a quick sunset flip. Barrett gets in a kick in the corner to take over but Miz blocks the kick in the ropes. The Reality Check gets two for Miz before the Wasteland and Skull Crushing Finale are both countered.

Winds of Change get two for Barrett but the Bull Hammer misses. Miz takes the legs out and puts on the Figure Four but Barrett gets a rope. Wasteland hits this time for two and Wade is frustrated. In a unique counter, Miz trips up Barrett and puts on the Figure Four from the mat for the submission and the title at 4:10.

Rating: D+. What do you want here?  It’s a four minute match and not a very good one at that.  At the end of the day, Miz isn’t anything special, the match was nothing special, Barrett hasn’t meant anything of note in forever, the title means nothing, and the match was four minutes long.  How in the world are they supposed to get anything of note going?  The answer is they aren’t, because that’s what a pre-show match is for.

The opening video is about Hurricane Sandy and is narrated by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who talks about New Jersey rising up due to its great spirit.

The National Guard waves a bunch of American flags.

The real opening video talks about growing up and making an impact on the grandest stage of them all. It’s your standard video about making a Wrestlemania moment, but well done.

Much like previous years, there’s a big canopy setup, but this year there’s a Statue of Liberty over the ring.

Shield vs. Sheamus/Big Show/Randy Orton

Surprising choice for an opener. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come down from the upper deck of the arena. Sheamus and Reigns get us going and the pale one pounds away from one corner to the other. This is already longer than Sheamus’ match from last year. A forearm puts Reigns down as does a hard clothesline for two. Off to Orton for the knee drop and some stomping. We get Cole’s first error of the night as he says Orton won the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 24 (he retained).

Reigns gets in some shots to the head and it’s off to Rollins. That goes badly as well for Shield as he gets pounded in the corner and suplexed down. Back to Sheamus but Seth gets in a dropkick to the knee to take him down. Ambrose gets the tag and it’s time for some evil double teaming. Sheamus will have none of that though and powerslam Ambrose down for two. Orton is ready for a tag but Show tags himself in instead. He rips Ambrose’s vest open for the LOUD chop and Dean wants another one. Instead he gets about five in a row and a splash in the corner.

Dean actually comes back and dropkicks the knee out to bring in Rollins. A top rope kick gets two on Show and it’s off to Reigns for some hard shots to Show’s back. Ambrose is back in now, sans all of his vest and shirt. Back to Rollins as Shield is tagging in and out very fast. A running kick to the face gets two for Rollins and it’s back to Roman for the chinlock. Big Show fights up with a belly to back suplex but Rollins takes out Orton to break up the tag. That’s fine with Show though as he brings in Sheamus instead for some fast and hard hitting knees to the chest.

Rollins gets his own vest split open and there are the ten forearms to the chest. Ambrose tags himself in from the apron and there are ten forearms for him as well. The Regal Roll puts Dean down and Sheamus hits one on Rollins as well, this one on top of Ambrose. Reigns breaks up something from Sheamus off the top and everything breaks down. Rollins dives through the ropes at Orton and slams his own head into the barricade. Sheamus is triple teamed in the ring but as Shield loads up the TripleBomb, Show spears them all down for the save.

Ambrose is the only one still in the ring for Shield as Sheamus is crawling to the corner. He reaches for Big Show but Orton tags himself in instead. The powerslam sets up the Elevated DDT and Big Show is ticked off. Orton loads up the RKO on Ambrose but Rollins springboards into the RKO instead. Reigns spears Orton down as Big Show watches from the apron for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: B-. Not as good as I was hoping for here but it was still a good match and a fine opener. This was more about the trio instead of the Shield, which is ok I guess but I’m hoping Shield gets to have their moment later on. The good thing here though is that Reigns got a 100% clean pin on Orton. It wasn’t Shield picking the bones. It was a spear and a pin. That’s a big help for the team and a good sign for them.

Big Show knocks out both of his partners post match.

Video on Rock vs. Cena.

Snooki is here.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

They stare each other down before colliding. No one goes anywhere so they do it again to the same result. They slug it out with Ryback taking over. Some clotheslines stagger Henry a bit but Henry runs Ryback over with a single clothesline of his own. A powerslam gets one for Mark but Ryback fights back with some right hands. A suplex is blocked by Henry and he puts Ryback on the apron with ease. Henry sends him into the post and clotheslines him out to the floor for good measure.

Back in and Henry pounds away on the back even more to take away the power game from Ryback. We hit an old school bearhug for a bit before Henry throws him to the floor again. Ryback gets back in at nine and it’s back to the bearhug. The bald one finally fights out of it and hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner and there’s the Meat Hook. Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Henry grabs the top rope and falls onto Ryback’s back for the pin at 8:06.

Rating: D. What in the world was that? Henry DESTROYED Ryback here and beat him almost clean in eight minutes. I don’t think there was an injury or anything, but why in the world would you have Ryback lose here? This keeps his long losing streak going for what, eight months now? I don’t get this one at all.

Post match Ryback hits the spinebuster and Shell Shock on Henry. So why did we have the match end that way???

The announcers play with toys and announce a partnership with the Special Olympics.

Some Special Olympians are here with Stephanie McMahon and Governor Christie.

Tag Titles: Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler vs. HELL NO

HELL NO is defending. This was set up by Ziggler beating Kane and Bryan in singles matches and wanting a title match as a result. This is also Langston’s debut. We get a funny bit to start with Ziggler kissing AJ to taunt Bryan and getting kicked in the head for a VERY close two ala last year. Ziggler bails to the floor and gets caught with a suicide dive. Back in and Bryan fires off the hard kicks to the chest but the big one to the head misses.

Ziggler dives off to tag in Langston and he gets Kane. Big E. easily catches a charging Kane and hits three straight backbreakers to take over. Kane gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Langston but the chokeslam is easily broken up. Langston runs over Kane and it’s back to Ziggler for some quick choking. Langston comes in again for more shots to Kane’s chest and ribs. He lowers his head though and there’s a DDT from Kane to put Langston down.

Back to Dolph who breaks up a tag to Bryan, only to miss a splash in the corner. Kane’s side slam gets two but the top rope clothesline misses. The Fameasser kind of misses but Bryan comes in for the save anyway. Ziggler jumps into an uppercut from Kane but Langston splashes Kane for the save at two. The Big Ending is broken up and Kane sends Big E. to the floor for the knee from Bryan. The Zig Zag gets two on Kane and Dolph is frustrated. AJ slides in the briefcase but Kane ducks Ziggler’s swing. The chokeslam connects and Kane takes out Langston. The Swan Dive from Bryan retains the titles at 6:30.

Rating: C. My predictions are taking a pounding tonight. I would assume this means Ziggler cashes in tonight, because we should totally buy him as world champion after he loses to Bryan here right? The match was fine, but at this point there’s no need to see HELL NO with the belts anymore. It’s just dull at this point and they stopped being funny a long time ago.

John Cena talks about Make-A-Wish.

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Fandango has a troop of dancing girls this time. This is set up because Jericho can’t pronounce Fandango’s name properly. This is also Fandango’s debut. Fandango dances to start and is taken down by Jericho very quickly. The dancer heads to the floor but as soon as he heads back in, Jericho takes him down and pounds away even more. Fandango jumps over Jericho in the corner but walks into a Codebreaker to send him to the floor. A baseball slide sends Fandango to the floor and Jericho hits a big plancha to take him down.

Back in and Jericho wipes the dust off his hands but as he loads up the springboard dropkick, Fandango blasts him in the face with a hard kick. Off to a chinlock as JBL goes off on Fandango for posing too much. Chris fights up pretty quickly and speeds things up before hitting a top rope ax handle. A Thesz Press puts Fandango down as does an enziguri for two. A top rope cross body gets two for Jericho but he gets sent shoulder first into the post to stop his momentum again.

A Downward Spiral puts Jericho down and the guillotine legdrop hits….for two. The Walls are countered and Fandango clotheslines Jericho down. Another guillotine legdrop is broken up but so is Jericho’s superplex bid. The third legdrop attempt misses but the Lionsault misses as well. Jericho tries the Walls but looks to have tweaked his knee. Fandango gets a sloppy small package for the pin at 9:16.

Rating: D. This was REALLY sloppy at the end and it appeared to be botched. Fandango did nothing to impress me here as he only seems to have one big move in the legdrop and that was tried three times in less than ten minutes. That ending looked awkward though so I’m guessing something went wrong.

We look at Miz winning the Intercontinental Title on the pre-show.

Video on Rock being back and various cities his fans come from.

We get a highlight package of Mania moments set to Rocky music on the big screens with all the other lights off. The lights come back up to reveal….Diddy, for the annual music medley.

We recap Swagger vs. Del Rio. Swagger and his manager Zeb Colter don’t like people coming into their country and taking jobs from “people that look like them”. The world champion, Alberto Del Rio, is one of these people. Swagger won the Elimination Chamber match and earned this shot. To make it personal, Swagger broke Alberto’s friend Ricardo Rodriguez’s ankle. The idea is that Del Rio is the kind of immigrant that America was built on, but the fans aren’t really buying him in this role for the most part.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger’s entrance is cut off as he and Colter are in the ring after the video package. Colter goes on his usual rant about how awful New York is because of all the non-English languages being spoken. Apparently those foreigners are plotting something. Swagger pounds away to start but Del Rio sends him to the floor for a baseball slide. Alberto pounds on Jack on the floor for a bit before heading inside again. Colter starts distracting the champion immediately and Jack takes over.

A hard clothesline gets two for Swagger and it’s off to an armbar, which Del Rio rolls up for two. Swagger comes back with the Vader Bomb for two but as he tries to wrap the champion’s legs around the post, Alberto pulls Jack’s shoulder into the post. Back in and Swagger charges into a boot to the face and there are some clotheslines from the champion. Both Swagger and Colter get kicked in the face with the actual wrestler getting covered for two as a result.

The armbreaker is countered and Swagger hits a high belly to belly suplex for two. Jack goes after the leg but the Patriot Lock is quickly broken up. The Vader Bomb is broken up as well and Del Rio hits the ten forearms to the back followed by the Backstabber for two. The champion hits a hard German suplex for two but the armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb for two.

There’s another Patriot Lock but as Swagger tries the grapevine, Del Rio slides over into the armbreaker in a sweet counter. Jack powers out of that into the Patriot Lock again but Alberto makes the rope. Another gutwrench powerbomb is countered and Del Rio fires off a kick to the head, only to hurt his ankle even more.

The corner enziguri hits Swagger but Colter puts the foot on the ropes at two. Ricardo goes after Zeb but gets kicked in the ankle. Del Rio and Colter both have a crutch but the distraction lets Swagger deck Alberto. They head back in and there’s the cross armbreaker out of nowhere for the tap out at 10:37. It was as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. That ending came out of nowhere and cut short what was looking to be a good match. Thankfully they kept this a mat based match which is where both of these guys shine. The counters were pretty sweet out there and both guys looked good, but at the end of the day that ending stopped this dead in its tracks, which is a shame.

The National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Undertaker, which is built around the idea of Punk disrespecting the memory of the recently dead Paul Bearer. Punk wants to be the 1 in 20-1, meaning he wants to break the Streak. He stole the urn as well, because that hasn’t been done in about ten years or so.

Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Living Colour plays Punk to the ring live. Heyman and Punk throw the urn around before the match. Punk slaps Taker in the corner to try to tick him off before pounding away back inside. Undertaker launches Punk into the corner but Punk slaps him again. The chokeslam is blocked by a high kick but Taker kicks him in the face to counter. We head to the floor and Taker keeps pounding away before loading up the announce table.

Punk is rammed spine first into the post and there’s the apron legdrop for good measure. Back inside and Taker gets some more open shots in the corner. Old School is broken up and Punk stomps away in the corner. In a solidly evil move, Punk hits Old School of his own followed by a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a kind of keylock by Punk which is easily broken up. Taker slugs him down but misses a running big boot into the corner.

A baseball slide puts Taker on the floor and there’s a Macho ax handle to keep the Dead Man down. Back in and Punk works on the shoulder with some Scott Hall driving shoulder blocks. Taker fires off some right hands but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker for two. Heyman shouts that Punk is getting closer and it’s off to a chinlock. A suplex eventually gets Taker out of trouble but Punk tries Old School again. That’s just asking for trouble though and Punk crotches himself on the top rope. Heyman: “WHAT HAPPENED?”

Taker loads up the Dive but Heyman makes the save. Instead of a chokeslam to Heyman though, it’s a springboard clothesline by Punk for two. The running knee in the corner connects and there’s the Macho Elbow for two more. Punk draws power from the urn and calls for Go to Sleep but Taker counters into the chokeslam for two. Back up and Undertaker wins a quick slugfest before pounding Punk down into the corner. Snake Eyes connects but Punk leg lariats him down for two.

A clothesline sends Taker to the floor and now Punk finishes loading up the announce table. Taker tries a Last Ride through the table but Punk escapes and high kicks Taker onto the table instead. The Macho Elbow…..doesn’t put Undertaker through the table as Punk just kind of stops moving once he hits Undertaker. Both guys are down and Punk is holding his knee back in the ring. The referee gets to nine but Taker dives back in just in time.

Back in and Taker tries Hell’s Gate but can’t get it all the way in. Punk tries to flip over but only gets two as a result. There’s the Anaconda Vice (no mention of Punk beating Taker in a submission match back in 2009) and Taker sits up. He glares at Punk while still in the hold and slips his hand underneath, but the chokeslam is countered into a bad GTS. Taker doesn’t even go off his feet and picks Punk up for the Tombstone for two.

They slug it out again and Taker loads up the chokeslam, only to have Punk shove the referee down. Punk’s knee is giving out but he hits the running knee in the corner only to be countered into the Last Ride. Heyman throws in the urn to blast Taker in the head ala HHH and the sledgehammer in 2001. Naturally it only gets two because Undertaker doesn’t lose at Wrestlemania. Taker escapes the GTS twice and the second Tombstone makes it 21-0 at 22:23.

Rating: B. It was good but I never once bought the Streak as being in jeopardy. It wasn’t going to end in a countout, it wasn’t going to end off a GTS, it wasn’t going to end with the same spot that HHH did better 12 years ago. It’s a good match but it’s a step down from the last four years. To be fair though, did anyone really think it was ending here? I’m not sure why you would. It’s Undertaker at Wrestlemania for crying out loud. The match was entertaining though and Punk’s visuals were great throughout, as was him hitting Old School. Good but definitely not great match here.

Undertaker reclaims the urn and looks like he’s about to cry.

WWE has donated a lot of Slim Jims to the military.

Video on Cena being focused for the main event.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar using the same video we’ve seen about five times now. HHH didn’t have a reason to get back into the ring until Lesnar hurt Vince. It’s No Holds Barred with HHH’s career on the line.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Shawn Michaels is in HHH’s corner. Lesnar is in the MMA gear which makes him look even scarier than usual. They slug it out to start with HHH firing off a bunch of right hands to the ribs. Lesnar knees the Game in the ribs and out to the floor we go. Brock is sent into the barricade and the announce table but Brock sends him into the apron to take over. They head into the crowd but HHH immediately clotheslines Lesnar back to ringside.

Brock blasts him in the head and picks up a chair as we head back inside. The jumping knee to the face puts Brock back down and Heyman steals the chair away before HHH can use it. They head back to the floor and Lesnar hits a belly to belly suplex to send HHH onto the floor. A release vertical suplex puts HHH through the table and Brock screams at HHH’s body. There’s another belly to belly suplex onto the remnants of the table and Brock gives us another evil grin.

Shawn tries to check on Brock and is sent running away. Back inside and Brock pounds away into the corner and shrugs off a facebuster before clotheslining HHH down for two. Another belly to belly gets another two as Shawn plays cheerleader. A pair of German suplexes get three two counts and Brock shouts a lot. HHH fires back some right hands but gets whipped over the corner and back out to the floor.

HHH’s arm is hanging there at the moment but he comes back with a clothesline and a right hand. Another clothesline puts Lesnar into the timekeeper’s area. A chair shot staggers Brock but we head back inside for a bridging German for two. Brock decks Shawn off the apron but walks into a spinebuster. The Pedigree is countered but so is the F5. Shawn comes in to try a superkick but gets caught in the F5 instead.

A bad looking Pedigree gets two on Brock and it’s sledgehammer time. Brock puts HHH up in mid swing and hits the F5 for two. We head to the floor and Brock cracks a chair over the Game’s back before sending him into the steps. The same steps go upside HHH’s head and Brock sends the other set into the ring. Back inside and Brock hits him in the arm with the steps for two more. Another shot with the steps gets another two but HHH comes back with some right hands. The Pedigree is countered into the Kimura arm lock but the ropes do nothing here.

Triple H breaks the hold twice by ramming Brock into the corner but Lesnar puts it on again. Brock fires off some knees and puts the hold on while on the middle rope but HHH picks him up and slams him down in a spinebuster. Brock misses a charge into the post and there’s a low blow for good measure. HHH wraps Brock’s arm around the post and Brock sounds like he in labor. A chair shot crushes the arm against the post and HHH does the same against the steps for good measure.

HHH throws on a Kimura of his own and Brock screams for Heyman, only to have Shawn superkick Heyman down. Brock holds off from tapping and lifts HHH into the air before slamming him down onto the steps. HHH throws the hold right back on and Brock slams him down onto the steps again to break the hold a second time. Here’s a third Kimura by HHH and Brock lifts him up, only to be DDTed onto the steps. It’s sledgehammer time again and a shot to Brock’s head sets up a Pedigree onto the steps for the pin at 24:00.

Rating: B+. This started slow but the ending was much better. I was actually thinking Brock would tap at the end and they had me not sure of who was going to win until the end. I’ll have a lot more to say about HHH spending eleven months with Brock Lesnar and then beating him in the blowoff match at Wrestlemania, but for now this was a good, hard hitting, entertaining match.

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night.

The Class of 2013 is presented to the arena: Mick Foley, Booker T, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Donald Trump (booed) and Bruno Sammartino (gets a trumpet entrance). Foley got the loudest ovation it seemed.

The attendance record is 80,676.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Rock

No entrance video, no musical performance, no special Mania entrance, nothing. Cena just walks out and kind of struts down the ramp at first. Apparently the eight person tag was cut from the show. I didn’t think they could fit all of that into the amount of time they had left. We get Big Match Intros and we’re ready to go. The crowd is exactly as you would expect it to be. Rock is champion and the huge crowd favorite if that wasn’t clear.

A quick shoulder block gets no one anywhere so we stare each other down a bit more. Rock grabs a headlock which does nothing of note either. We try it again until they run the ropes a few times followed by a hip toss to send Cena to the floor. Back in and Cena sends Rock into the corner before pounding away a bit. The champion comes back with a clothesline and a kick to the face to put Cena down on the mat.

Rock drives some elbows into Cena’s chest but gets clotheslined down again. The crowd isn’t into this for the most part. Cena hooks a chinlock which transitions into a headlock on the mat. Rock fights up and hooks a sleeper as the fans think this is boring. A suplex puts Rock down and Cena stomps away as he continues to be the heel in the match. Rock fights back with a Samoan drop and they lay around a bit more. Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets two.

Rock tries the spit punches but Cena hits the shoulder. A second one misses and the spit punch connects. The spinebuster is countered into an STF attempt but Rock escapes. Cena hits his finishing sequence but the ProtoBomb is countered into the Sharpshooter, and it’s WAY better than the one he used last year. Cena rolls out of that and kicks Rock off so he can hit the ProtoBomb.

The Shuffle misses (I don’t remember that happening before actually, which is hard to believe) and Rock hits a DDT to take Cena down. The Rock Bottom is countered into a bad Crossface but when that gets Cena nowhere, he hits a third ProtoBomb and the Shuffle for no cover. The AA is countered but there’s the spinebuster by Rock. Cena picks the leg to counter the Elbow though and the STF goes on. In an impressive power display, Rock rolls onto his back and breaks Cena’s grip to escape.

Cena charges into the Rock Bottom for two as the fans are barely reacting to these near falls because we’re not even fifteen minutes into this yet. The AA hits for two but the to rope Fameasser misses. Now the People’s Elbow hits but of course it only gets two. The near falls aren’t even close as Cena is kicking out at like two and a quarter instead of two and nine tenths.

After Cena rolls to the floor for a bit they head back inside for the boo/yay slugout. Rock for some reason tries a cross body and it’s ANGRY Cena but he gets countered into a big Rock Bottom. AGAIN Cena kicks out barely after two which takes away a lot of the drama. Rock stops to listen to the people and loads up another Elbow, only to throw in You Can’t See Me. In a nice callback to last year, Cena pops up and hits the AA for two.

Back up and they slug it out again and Cena hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two. NOW the fans are getting into this. Cena has no idea what to do now but as he loads up the Shuffle, he stops and sets up the Elbow. This is what cost him last year but he holds the ropes when Rock nips up, only to have the AA countered into a Rock Bottom for another two. This is starting to pick up a lot.

The AA is countered, the Rock Bottom is countered, the AA is countered again, the Rock Bottom is countered again, the AA is countered again, Rock hits a DDT. The champion tries about the nineteenth Rock Bottom of the match but gets countered into the Attitude Adjustment to give Cena his 14^th world title at 24:00. Yeah seriously, that’s it.

Rating: C+. This started off REAL slow but picked up after about twenty minutes. The problem is it stopped as soon as they started to get going. This fell into the classic trap of trying to have an epic match and collapsing under the weight. The problem at the end of the day is we’ve seen this done better before, so what’s the appeal here? Not much to see here and it was freaking boring at times.

They say something we can hear to each other and shake hands….and Rock walks out to his own music to end the show.  Oh wait they salute each other and pose to really end it.

Overall Rating: B-. This falls into that awkward “Good but not memorable” category. The big matches were all good but nothing on here was what I would call a masterpiece. Rock vs. Cena was good but we saw a better and bigger match last year between the two. The crowd didn’t help things, which ranges from either the cold or reports of REALLY obstructed views for a lot of them.

The biggest problem here is there was never that moment that you remember from each show until the end. Yeah that helps a lot, but it doesn’t help when we’ve seen Cena win the title what, twelve times before? It also doesn’t help that the moment comes after FIVE HOURS of WWE tonight.

Results

Shield b. Big Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus – Spear to Orton

Mark Henry b. Ryback – Henry fell on Ryback’s back

HELL NO b. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston – Swan Dive to Ziggler

Fandango b. Chris Jericho – Small Package

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Cross Armbreaker

Undertaker b. CM Punk – Tombstone

HHH b. Brock Lesnar – Pedigree on the steps

John Cena b. The Rock – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Yeah, like he has been for years for all intents and purposes.In other words, nothing changed.  HHH won.

I’ll try to have something to say about this but it’s not going to be easy.For twenty two years now, the Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania.  For the last few years now, an attempt at breaking the Streak has been almost as important if not more important than the world title matches.  Breaking the Streak is something people have tried to do for years and CM Punk is the latest in line to make a run at it.  There are two ways to go after Taker at Wrestlemania: as a matter of honor or as a personal matter.

Punk has taken the latter and that means the match is going to suffer as a result.  At the end of the day, while Punk has played up the idea of insulting the memory of Paul Bearer as well as the idea of getting Undertaker disqualified, I haven’t been sucked into the feud.  Punk looks incredibly bored by this whole thing and it seems that he’s out to  just tick Undertaker off rather than actually have a good program to set up the match.  People have been stealing the urn from Undertaker for years now and Hogan already threw the ashes inside of it into Taker’s eyes to beat him back in 1991.  It’s kind of hard to get into a feud like that when you’ve seen HHH and Shawn tear the house down with Taker four years in a row now you know?

As for the match, it’s Undertaker at Wrestlemania.  Undertaker wins.  He just does.

Now stop me if you’ve heard this one before.Brock Lesnar debuted a year ago and this is his second feud.  He’s spent roughly eleven months feuding with HHH over something that I’m still not entirely clear on.  I think Lesnar started this because he was mad about HHH running the show and then beat him up at Summerslam, but now it’s about revenge for Vince.  Or something.  Anyway, we saw these two have a No DQ match at Summerslam which was nothing all that exciting at all.

On top of that, the stipulation of HHH’s career being on the line really doesn’t add much because HHH is already retired for all intents and purposes.  He wrestled twice last year and I think four times on TV the year before.  Putting his career on the line is nowhere near the same as when Flair or Michaels did it as they were both active competitors.  I get what they’re going for with the added stipulation, but at the end of the day the match isn’t very exciting at all.  It’s the same thing we saw and were bored by eight months ago with HHH trying and likely failing to have the big epic showdown he’s hoping for.

As for Lesnar, the problem is very simple: what does he gain from this match?  He’s already beaten HHH once and has done nothing else for the rest of his time in the company other than lose to Cena.  Why in the world would you have someone like that with that much money being spent on him in the same feud for the better part of a year with the match not being great?  It seems like such a waste, but given the millions he’s making a match, can you blame Brock for doing stupid matches like these?

The build has been nothing special either as it feels like they’re trying to recreate what happened last year with Taker vs. HHH.  The idea of the feud is that Brock beat up HHH last summer and now HHH wants a rematch to prove how awesome he is.  The idea of HHH fighting for Vince’s honor doesn’t do much for me and neither does Shawn being in his heterosexual life mate’s corner.  It’s going to be a lot of what we saw before with Shawn likely superkicking Heyman at some point.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Stephanie and Vince make appearances during the match as well.

As for the match itself, I can’t imagine HHH losing.  He’s 43 years old and can still put on good matches which give younger guys a solid rub as a result.  As stupid of an idea as it would be to have Lesnar go 1-2 in his first year back with the company and waste two of those matches on HHH of all people, I can’t picture it going any other way.  HHH is going to get back in the ring again which is the right move, but at this price I’m not sure if it’s worth it.  Either way the match will be very physical but likely not live up to the standards they’ve set for the match, as HHH’s “epic” matches rarely work at all.

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We wrap things up with this and a main event which no one ever thought we would see: John Cena vs. The Rock. This is one of if not the only match ever that I had to see. I didn’t know if it would be good or bad, but I needed to see it. The match was announced the night after the last Wrestlemania and was literally built for a year. On the undercard we have Punk vs. Jericho for the world title, Sheamus vs. Bryan for the other title and HHH vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. When that is a DISTANT second match, you know you’ve got something huge. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is about how Cena and Rock’s lives have both built up to this moment and how this match is Once In A Lifetime. Oh and HHH vs. Undertaker is happening too.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus won the Rumble to earn this show. We’re pre-beard for Bryan here which is weird to see anymore. The bell rings, Bryan kisses his girlfriend AJ, turns around into a Brogue Kick and we have a new champion in 18 seconds. That number would haunt Bryan for at least six months.

Team Johnny is fired up for the twelve man tag for later tonight. Miz brags about being in the main event last year but it’s Otunga who gets them to be quiet for a pep talk from Johnny Ace.

Win tickets to Wrestlemania 29!

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Santino is with Mick Foley in a sailor hat and a guy from the fishing show Deadliest Catch. They’re eating crabs and Foley makes bad pirate jokes. Socko and Cobra make appearances, as does Ron Simmons and I think you can get the joke from here.

Some National Guard people are here.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Cody is defending and the idea here is that Big Show has never had a good Wrestlemania moment. You know, because winning a meaningless midcard title in 2012 is more important than main eventing the show in possibly the biggest and best year the company has ever had. During the entrance we get some “highlights” from Show’s career. Naturally the pin in the 8 man tag last year is never mentioned at all.

Cody runs to the floor to start but Show easily throws him back into the ring. There’s a beal across the ring and a hard chop in the corner, followed by a Stink Face for good measure. Cody comes back with some dropkicks to the knee and pounds away as much as he can. Rhodes pounds on Show’s back a bit and is LAUNCHED off on the kickout. The champion works on the knee a bit with a standing leg lock and a DDT to take it down. After some stomps to Show’s head, he shoves Cody away with ease but gets caught by the Disaster Kick. A second is countered with a spear though and the WMD makes Show the champion.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Cody has nothing that was going to keep Show down and with all the building up of the match about Show’s past embarrassments, there was only one way this could end. That and it’s only about five minutes so it didn’t have enough time to suck or anything. Not great but it was exactly what it was expect to be.

Video on what it means to be a Diva.

We recap the Divas tag. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Extra with Maria Menunos when Eve and Beth came in and claimed they should be the guests. A tag match was made.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly

Beth has….wings on her head? Kelly and the freshly heel Eve start things off with Kelly doing her screaming hurricanrana to take over. A handspring elbow hits Eve’s knee in the corner but Kelly breaks up a moonsault and knocks Eve into the Tree of Woe. Off to Maria for a double Stink Face, resulting in the famous stain on the back of Maria’s tights from Eve’s makeup.

Since Maria isn’t a wrestler, the beatdown on her begins quickly with Eve wrapping her up in a body vice. Off to Beth (in gold tonight) for a side bearhug as the match slows WAY down. Back to Eve for some quick double teaming but she takes too long with the shaky moonsault. It’s back to Kelly as things break down a bit. A top rope seated senton gets two on Beth and the Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog. Back to Maria who goes….up. After getting pulled down, Kelly breaks up a gorilla press and a rollup is enough for Maria to pin Beth.

Rating: D+. Four good looking women in tight outfits and one of them anchors a national television show. Do you really need a further explanation as to why this happened? The interesting note: of these four, Maria is the only one involved with Wrestlemania 29 and that’s as a Hall of Fame inductor.

Shawn Michaels, the guest referee inside the Cell, says either the Undertaker or HHH are done tonight.

New attendance record. As always.

Jim Ross comes out to do commentary for the Cell match.

HHH vs. Undertaker

This is inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as guest referee. Undertaker basically became Batman in his cave and wanted a rematch to prove he could beat HHH. As in like he already did. This is also billed as End of an Era, but what era that was never actually became clear. The announcement of the Cell was perfect as HHH said he wanted one more thing, which was presumed to be Streak vs. career. It’s a good lesson in letting the feud set the stipulations, not the calendar. Undertaker debuts his new mohawk here to a gasp from the crowd. The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica.

Taker pounds away into the corner to start with “carcinogenic” right hands according to JR. HHH pounds away as well but gets thrown out to the floor soon thereafter. HHH is sent into the Cell a few times and a backdrop puts him down on the floor again. Taker sends him into the steel over and over as it’s one sided so far. Now it’s the steps instead of the Cell with Taker in full control. Back in and a facebuster is no sold and down goes HHH again.

Old School connects and we head back outside again. Shawn isn’t a factor yet. The steps go upside HHH’s head and set up the apron legdrop. Back in and HHH hits a DDT, which somehow makes us completely even. The steps are in the ring now so HHH slams Taker’s head into them a few times. A Pedigree onto the steps is blocked with a backdrop but HHH comes back with a spinebuster onto the steps, only to get caught in the Hell’s Gate. In an impressive power display, HHH lifts Taker up into a powerbomb to break the hold and get two as well.

HHH throws in a pair of chairs and cracks one of them over Taker’s back. Taker is whipped into the steps in the corner before they’re sent to the outside. JR says there are no laws in the Cell. Other than you win by pin or submission and all that. HHH goes off with the chair, DESTROYING Undertaker Austin/Rock style. Shawn takes the chair away and tells HHH to cover Undertaker because he’s not going to quit. Trips takes the chair back and shoves Shawn down before pounding on Taker even more. He tells Shawn to end it before he does.

Taker says do not stop it as he’s getting back up. He turns around though and is hit in the ribs and back by the chair but it only gets two. HHH is starting to get frustrated so he hits Taker in the back with another chair and it’s time for more pathos with Taker saying don’t stop it. Cue the sledgehammer for a shot to the head for ANOTHER two. HHH (who is cut over the eye) has no idea what to do now.

The Game pulls up the hammer to slam it down onto Taker’s head but Shawn pulls it away to prevent the murder. Shawn is ready to stop it as Taker can barely move. Michaels raises his hand but Taker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate to stop him. Trips breaks it up with a hammer shot but Taker comes back with a low blow and Hell’s Gate on HHH. There’s no referee though and Taker lets it go from exhaustion with his opponent out cold.

Another referee comes in as Taker hits a last effort chokeslam for two. Taker chokeslams the referee (I believe that’s the same referee he beat up in 2001 against HHH as well) but walks into the superkick into the Pedigree…..FOR TWO! I lost my mind watching that live because I really thought it was over. Now HHH shoves Shawn to the floor and Taker sits up to scare the life out of HHH. Taker erupts on HHH with a big boot and running clothesline, setting up snake eyes and another boot.

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

Some more chair shots get two on HHH so Shawn screams at them to end this. HHH tries a hammer shot to the face but Taker easily blocks it. They stare each other down and HHH gives Taker a crotch chop. Trips walks out of the corner into a hammer shot to the head. HHH tries to climb up Taker’s body but the strap comes down, the throat is slit, and the Tombstone makes it 20-0.

Rating: A+. This is another reason why I’m not so wild on last year’s match: they’re capable of SO much better and this is proof. This match told a great story with both guys destroying each other with Shawn being stuck in the middle and trying to figure out what do do in each situation. It’s a great match, it’s a great fight, and it’s pure emotion the entire time. Great stuff here, and most importantly of all: there were moments where I thought it was over. I never bought that as a possibility last year.

After a few moments on the mat, Taker sits up but falls right back down. He pulls himself up on Shawn and they embrace. HHH is still out cold. Shawn and Taker lift him up and carry him out of the ring. They embrace on the stage in one of the most iconic images you’ll ever see. You don’t often get to use that word, but it’s true in this case.

Send Slim Jims to soldiers! I love charity stuff, but it’s a big shift after what we just sat through.

We get clips of the Hall of Fame stuff from last night.

Here’s the live presentation of the 2012 class: Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna (represented by his kids), Ron Simmons, the Horsemen (including Flair, which set off a lawsuit since he was still under contract to TNA), Mike Tyson and Edge (who gets theme music but has short hair which is such an odd look for him). This was the breather that the fans needed.

Heath Slater tries to get a spot in Flo-Rida’s performance but gets turned and then shoved down. Hawkins and Reks laugh at Slater.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga

Teddy: Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, R-Truth, Zack Ryder (with Eve), Booker T, Santino Marella

Each team has a Bella as a fan, the match is for total control of both brands, and Johnny is in a white suit. Oh and Vickie is with Johnny and Horny is with Teddy as the flag bearers. Otunga and Santino are team captains, because Miz and Booker aren’t good enough. Kofi and Dolph start things off for their usual solid sequence. Truth comes in for a double hiptoss and a dancing legdrop.

McIntyre comes in to pound on Truth but it’s quickly off to Khali to change momentum. It should also be mentioned that they’re in red and blue t-shirts with the GM’s on the front. Off to Booker to chop away on Drew and a superkick puts him down. Booker goes after the rest of Team Johnny but the numbers catch up with him, allowing Swagger to take over. Jack gets to beat on Kofi for a bit and it’s off to Henry. Mark pounds him down in the corner as the match slows way down.

Off to Miz with some knees to the chest and a boot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Booker comes back with a suplex for no cover. Ziggler comes in to break up the tag and drop some elbows for two. Everything starts breaking down as Henry hits the Slam on Booker but Khali chops him down. I can’t keep track of everything going on but Henry catches a diving Horny in mid-air.

The girls get in a brawl and there’s the hot tag to Santino to pound on Miz. The Cobra connects and Cole panics until Ziggler makes the save. Another hot tag brings in Ryder for the Rough Ryder for Dolph and a beatdown on everyone else. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve gets in the ring as well. The referee tries to get her out and the distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryder for the pin, making Ace GM of both shows.

Rating: D+. As is the usual case with stuff like this, there was way too much going on to keep track of anything. There were something like 18 people involved in this whole thing and the ending was about Eve and her heel turn more than anything else. Ace would be GM for about four months or so while boring us to death against Cena. Not much to see here though due to the amount of people in the match.

Post match, Eve finally turns on Ryder for good, confirming him as the biggest loser in the WWE. Wasn’t Eve already a heel in the Divas tag? Why is this supposed to be shocking?

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

We get a video on the media blitz and activities for Wrestlemania week.

To celebrate winning, Laurinitis changes the Raw World Title match rules so that if Punk gets disqualified, Jericho wins the title.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

Another few slaps have Punk in a frenzy but he holds off to avoid the DQ. A slam puts Jericho down but he rolls away before the Macho Elbow can be launched. Instead CM dives to the floor to take out Jericho, followed by a wicked smile. Jericho asks how Punk’s sister and father are but Punk doesn’t swing the chair he grabs. Punk charges into a pair of boots to the face and the challenger takes over.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Punk escapes a bow and arrow hold and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho crotch first into the corner. A spinning neckbreaker gets two on Chris and there’s the running knee in the corner. Jericho counters the bulldog but has to stop the Lionsault to avoid knees. That counter is countered into a Walls attempt but Punk shakes him off for two. The Macho Elbow hits knees and Jericho hits the Codebreaker but it sends Punk out to the floor. Back in and Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two.

Punk fires off the kicks and gets two off a quick powerslam. They trade German suplex grips but Punk gets dropped on the top rope to give Jericho control. The Lionsault gets two and Chris goes up, only to be chopped a lot to slow him down. The champion loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls in one of Jericho’s classic counters. Punk finally makes the ropes and sends Jericho to the floor to set up the suicide dive.

Jericho staggers to his feet and Punk hits the running knee, crushing Jericho’s head against the post. They head back in and somehow Jericho grabs the Codebreaker out of nowhere for two. Back up and Jericho pounds away on Punk in the corner, only to go up again and get kicked down. The GTS is countered into the Liontamer (the kneeling version of the Walls) in the middle of the ring but shifts it to the regular Walls.

Jericho has to pull him away from the ropes and Punk escapes into dueling small packages. CM rolls through again into the Anaconda Vice but Jericho knees Punk in the back of the head to escape. The Walls don’t work again and Punk hooks another Vice, this time tucking his head in to avoid the knees. Jericho is trapped and finally gives up.

Rating: A. Great match here with both guys destroying each other and countering everything both guys had. I love the ending with Punk getting smarter as he kept going in a good display of psychology. Thankfully the DQ bit didn’t go anywhere which makes it pretty stupid. Excellent match here though which would have been a great main event for any other show of the year.

Wrestlemania 29 is coming to New Jersey, but we’ll bill it as New York because it sounds better.

Here’s Brodus, who had recently debuted as the Funkasaurus. He tells everyone to get their phone, because they’re gonna call their mamas. Brodus calls his own and apparently she’s here tonight……WITH THE BRIDGE CLUB! Cue a troop of old women for a BIG dance party.

Video on G.I. Joe 2 which was just released like two weeks ago. As in nearly a year after this show.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

Cena sits on the ramp, stunned.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best shows of all time, bar none. The two big matches delivered far better than you could have hoped for, the Raw title match was great, nothing sucked, there are multiple Wrestlemania Moments on here, and the crowd was white hot all night. This is easily in the highest levels of Wrestlemanias ever and it’s every bit as good as it was when I watched it live. Great stuff and absolutely worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original:

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

Redo: A

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

I shortchanged that main event terribly. It’s a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

Well that’s that I guess. As is the case with every PPV series, some are great, some suck, a lot are in the middle. This series however is different. It’s THE show and THE series which is bigger than anything else in the world of professional wrestling. Wrestlemania has been around 29 years now and with the latest edition only a day away as of right now, it’s still going strong.

Around 2001, Wrestlemania became a spectacle in addition to an event as they started going to major stadiums and drawing 70,000+ people to every show. That’s remarkable and the fact that the crowds keep growing is a great sign. I love wrestling and I love Wrestlemania, so watching these shows has been a treat.

I’ll be back on July 24 with the Summerslam Redos, so I hope to not see you then. Why would I want to see you? I want you at your computers reading the reviews. Go read more of them now. Or my books. Yeah preferably the books.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.

Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.

We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.

Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.

Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.

He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.

Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.

We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.

Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?

Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.

Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.

Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.

Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.

A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.

HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.

Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,653
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is from the Raw after Wrestlemania and was a request. HHH has lost the world title to Batista last night so this is the start of a new era in a sense. Looking at the rest of the card (which is pretty short in the first place), we’ve got Edge vs. Benoit which should be good. I’m not sure what else to expect tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a Wrestlemania recap set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down. They’re my favorite band so I’m not complaining here. It transitions to another song that I don’t recognize. It was the show where Cena and Batista won their first world titles, plus there was the first MITB match and Angle vs. Shawn’s classic. If it ran about 45 minutes shorter, it would be one of the best ever. With that extra time though, it’s just a good show.

Here’s HHH to open the show. You know, the guy that lost last night. The Game can’t get anything in because of the Batista chants. He admits that he lost the title but goes into a huge rant about how the Batista Era isn’t beginning because he was on for one night only. HHH is great every night. You think he gives that same speech to Stephanie when she complains about things? HHH says he owns the title and the rematch is at Backlash. He’ll get the title back and ram it down all of our throats.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was when Shelton was the hottest star in the company not named Cena or Batista and he’s defending the title here. I think all three of these guys were in MITB last night. Yeah they were. Thanks JR. JR then loses his credibility for this match saying Shelton won the title off Jericho a few weeks ago. He won it in November JR. Shelton and Jericho square off but Christian wants some of that. He gets punched in the face for his efforts and double teamed.

Jericho and Shelton seem to team up for a bit but that breaks down quickly. Chris controls on the champion and hits the bulldog, but he’s too banged up for the Lionsault. Christian comes back in and sends Jericho to the floor so he can work on Shelton. Off to a chinlock as the fans chant CLB. Shelton loads up a superplex on Christian but Jericho comes in to powerbomb him, making it a Tower of Doom.

Everyone is down and Jericho gets two on Christian, then two on Shelton. Jericho fires off a forearm and enziguri on Christian but covers Shelton instead for some reason. Shelton sunset flips Jericho but Christian rolls him up for two. Jericho sunset flips BOTH of them at once for two. Stinger Splash from the champion hits Jericho and the Exploder puts him down, but Tomko pulls Shelton out. Jericho hooks the Walls on Christian but Shelton comes in with a springboard bulldog (looked GREAT) to Jericho for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this. The midcard was pretty awesome at this point with Shelton leading the way. Then he got lazy and stopped caring which really crippled his career. Anyway, at this point he rocked and couldn’t have a boring match if his life depended on it. When Christian and Jericho have trouble keeping up with you, that says a lot.

Edge is in the back with Bischoff and signs his contract for a world title shot. That’s the MITB contract I think. Bischoff asks if he wants to use it tonight but Edge says no, because he wants to pick his spot. Eric says you get Benoit tonight then.

Here’s Orton who lost to Taker last night. The fans chant for Undertaker and Orton says it wasn’t supposed to go that way. He talks about being chokeslammed and tombstoned last night. Orton claims a shoulder injury during the match last night and he would have reversed the Tombstone otherwise. But enough of that, because he wants to talk about Batista. He respects Undertaker but doesn’t respect Batista. Orton says he’s the future and wants Batista TONIGHT. Eric comes out and says that HHH gets the next shot because of his rematch clause. Orton says make the match tonight and Eric says ok.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Christy looks GREAT in blue. Christy is the Divas Search winner and Lita is training her. That doesn’t make her any good in the ring but she looks great. Trish is evil here and this is a rematch from last night. Before the bell ever rings, Trish KILLS Christy with a Chick Kick and knocks her out. Lita, still injured, gets in Trish’s face and they slug it out, but Trish kicks Lita in her injured knee and puts a hold on her. Trish walks out, but DANG that kick looked great.

We get a clip from last night with Muhammad Hassan jumping Eugene and beating him up until Hogan made the save. That’s still a great moment that I still watch from time to time. By clip, I mean the whole segment.

Here’s Shawn, limping after Angle destroyed his leg last night. He talks about how he gave it everything he had last night but things didn’t end like he planned. Shawn asks for a small favor: would anyone want to see a rematch? The fans want it so Shawn says he’ll do whatever he can do to make it happen.

Cue Hassan and Daivari to get on our nerves by speaking Farsi or whatever language that is. Hassan makes fun of Shawn for losing and says Shawn fears him because he’s Arab American. Shawn takes his jacket off and Hassan calls him a loser. This starts a brawl but Shawn’s knee gives out and he gets beaten down. Hassan puts him in a camel clutch to end this.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit has a bad left arm from last night. They brawl fairly slowly and Edge is knocked to the floor. Back in and a knee to the ribs puts Edge down. Benoit is having to fight tentatively because of the arm. Out to the floor again and Benoit fires off some chops. He slides back in and takes Edge down with a baseball slide. Coming back in, Edge drapes the arm over the top rope and Benoit is in trouble.

Edge works over the arm with a wristlock and a hammerlock. Benoit comes back with a trio of Germans, the third one being release style. He stupidly goes up but the Swan Dive misses and the arm hits the mat again. Benoit gets sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Edge working on the arm even more. During the break Benoit tried the Crossface but the arm gave out.

Edge cranks on the arm even more but goes up and is crotched. Benoit chops him on the corner and they trade headbutts. Benoit GOES OFF and hits a huge superplex to put both guys down. Here’s the Sharpshooter which Benoit wisely pulls on with the right arm. After about two minutes, Edge finally gets to the ropes. The bandage is off Benoit’s arm. He manages the Crossface but the arm gives out so Edge can escape. He DDTs the arm and loads up the spear, but Benoit sidesteps him to send Edge into the corner, letting Chris roll him up for the pin.

Rating: B. Two matches up, both very good so far. These two were always going to give you good matches and the arm injury was a really nice story to put into the match. Benoit would never reach the level he hit the previous year but he was always good for something like this. Edge would do little for the rest of the year before cashing in the case in January.

Edge rams Benoit’s arm into the steps post match. He also beats on it with a chair.

It’s time for an infomercial by Simon Dean for the Simon System with Maven as his protege. This isn’t going to end well. Simon says (get it?) that anyone, even the people in LA, can look like Maven using his system. He says that the people here are getting fat drinking beer. I think I can hear the glass shattering from here. Yep there it is. Austin makes fun of the system and says WHAT a lot. If you won’t know where this is going, I’ve failed you.

They agree to try each others’ drinks and Simon asks for a glass. Austin has none of that so Simon holds his nose. Simon does push-ups to work off the calories of the beer. They’re wasting Austin on this? Austin says do a bunch of push-ups which Simon does. Now it’s time for Austin to try the protein shake. Austin says the shake smells awful and won’t drink it. Maven says that’s because it’s a man’s drink and throws it on Austin. Stunners and beer abound for awhile.

Orton is coming to the ring and runs into Kane who makes fnu of him for losing.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. We get our first look at the guy that won the main event of Wrestlemania with less than eight minutes of air time left. The bell rings with less than six and a half minutes to go in the show. Orton shoves him into the corner but Big Dave powers out of it. Orton takes over and hooks a chinlock but Batista snapmares out of it.

They’re very clearly going through the motions here. Batista pounds on him and shoves him into the corner for the shoulders. He misses one though and Batista’s shoulder hits the post. Not that it really matters as he rams Orton’s face into the post. Back in the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb get the easy pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here as these two never really had the big match that I think they were always expected to have. They should have had a great feud and rivalry on paper but it never really played out that way in reality. Not the worst match ever but for Batista’s first match as champion it didn’t work that well.

HHH comes out to applaud Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was mostly good here and the show was entertaining enough, but the main event did very little for Batista. This felt more like Austin was the main attraction or something like that. Not a bad show but there needed to be WAY more focus on Batista.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the history of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Here’s a pretty different show from last year. This is a double main event with a Taker vs. Shawn II and Cena vs. Batista II, the latter one being for the Raw Title. Other than that we have Jericho vs. Edge for the Smackdown Title and….uh….wait why would you need anything more than that? It’s Cena vs. Batista for the World Title at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Fantasia, I believe from American Idol, sings America the Beautiful. This is one of those renditions where she basically screams the song but it’s called soulful or something like that.

The opening video is about how several long careers have led here. Bret Hart is also back tonight in a match with Vince McMahon. This is one of the first times where there was a big push on the idea of making a Wrestlemania moment.

The theme song is I Made It by Kevin Rudolf. This one really grew on me over the years.

Tag Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

That would be Big Show and Miz as champions. If there’s one thing I’m glad we’ve moved passed, it’s portmanteau tag team names. Miz is also US Champion and the tag titles are still represented by all four belts. John and Miz start things off and there’s a fast dropkick for two by Morrison. Off to Truth for a guillotine legdrop for two more.

A big left hand misses for Miz and a side kick takes him down. Off to Big Show and Truth can’t do much against him, other than be caught in a fallaway slam. After Show knocks Morrison off the apron, John breaks up a Vader Bomb to put Show down. Off to Miz vs. Morrison again and a running knee takes Miz down. Starship Pain misses though and Show rams Truth into the post. John counters the Skull Crushing Finale into a rollup for two but Show makes a blind tag and knocks Morrison silly with the WMD to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t even three and a half minutes long so what else do you expect here? To be fair, Awesome Truth was thrown together and won the title shot in the same night so there wasn’t much of a reason for these teams to be fighting. The champions would lose the title in a month while the challengers would never really do anything.

We look at WWE taking over Phoenix.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

This is the final blowoff to the never ending Legacy story, with the young pups being mentored by Orton until the crowd turned Orton face by sheer willpower. This is his chance for revenge and to bury the feud once and for all. The place goes NUTS for Orton. Oh and before I forget: the set here is AWESOME as it’s set up like a big pyramid with video screens on all sides.

Orton fights them both off to start before bailing to the floor. This is a glorified handicap match in the early going. Orton gets Rhodes down on the floor and stomps away on DiBiase back inside. Cody gets back in though and the two on one beating is on, drawing really solid heat. Lawler says these stomps are like the ones Orton uses. Uh, yeah King. I can clearly see the similarities in kicking somebody.

Rhodes pounds away while Ted holds Randy back and there’s a double suplex. DiBiase does Orton’s pose which makes Randy punch Cody down, only to be clotheslined by Ted. Legacy goes High/Low on Orton and there’s a knee drop from Cody. Cody loads up the moonsault but has to stop to break up a pin attempt by DiBiase. Ted is sent to the floor and Cody gets two off an Alabama Slam.

Legacy goes at it and brawls to the floor and Orton gets back into things. He takes both guys down with his usual finishing sequence but DiBiase breaks up the RKO on Rhodes. Cody tries a dive but Orton sidesteps it, sending Rhodes into DiBiase. They come back in and walk into a double Elevated DDT, sending Orton into “that place.” With DiBiase watching, Orton Punts Rhodes and then counters Dream Street into the RKO for the pin on Ted.

Rating: C. The fans loved Orton but that’s about all they’ve got here. Legacy just lost a glorified handicap match in less than ten minutes as Orton never even seemed to be in danger. This would start a MEGA push for Orton as he would become the second biggest face in the company and spend the rest of the year chasing the world title. The pop for the RKO was really good here.

The heel Divas in the ten Diva tag later brag about how Vickie is going to win in her Wrestlemania debut. Jillian Hall, not on the team, pops in to sing. The other girls leave and here’s Santino to plug Slim Jims. He bites one and Jillian turns into Mae Young. Another turns Mae into Gene Okerlund in a strapless dress. A third bite makes Okerlund into Melina. No more bites. Ok then.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Kane has a BIG black eye for reasons never explained. Remember when I said eight man matches were too busy? Well here’s a TEN man version. It’s a big brawl to start until MVP throws in the first ladder. Drew tries to go up but gets shoved over by Matt. MVP hits a big running boot to knock Drew to the floor. Nine people fight for two sides of a ladder to climb but Kane cleans house and sends about five guys to the floor.

Christian and Matt go up but Kofi (in the rare white trunks) makes the save. Ziggler hits a kind of Zig Zag off the ladder to Christian but Kane and MVP get back inside. Things are already really congested here. Kane is put into the corner and has a ladder rammed into his ribs. Kofi stumbles up the ladder and falls onto the steel. Shelton comes in with Paydirt to MVP and loads up the big ladder, only to be stabbed with a ladder by Swagger. Jack winds up inside the ladder and gets speared from either side with the tops of ladders between the rungs of the big ladder by Christian and Matt.

Now the ladders Matt and Christian used are bridged across the top rope like a big cross kind of thing. Matt and Christian climb up while Bourne climbs up the side of the ladder. The ladder Matt is standing on falls out and Bourne kicks Christian down, but instead of GETTING THE CASE, Evan hits the Shooting Star on Christian. Now Matt stops Bourne but Swagger comes up and throws Matt onto the other bridged ladder, leaving everyone down.

MVP and Shelton go up but a rana by Benjamin send both guys out to the floor. Kane is the first person back inside but Ziggler makes the stop. He actually climbs over Kane but the big man shoves the ladder over to make the stop. A chokeslam onto the ladder has Dolph in trouble, much like Kane actually slamming the ladder onto Ziggler so hard he BREAKS THE LADDER. In the creative spot of the night, Kofi picks up the two broken pieces and walks on the like stilts.

McIntyre finally makes the save and brings the big ladder back inside. Hardy finally makes the save by shoving Drew off the ladder and onto the top rope for a big crotching. Matt is alone but can’t quite pull the thing down. Christian and Kane join him on top and it’s the big bald being shoved down. Christian hits the reverse DDT (called the Twist of Fate by that schnook Cole) and here’s Swagger back inside. It’s Swagger and Christian on top and a case to the head allows Swagger to (FINALLY as it takes forever) pull down the case to win.

Rating: B-. C+. WAY too many people in there which led to way too much laying around. It’s not a terrible match or anything, but these are getting weaker and weaker as they keep going. Kofi’s stilts spot was great but other than that there’s nothing to see here. We’ve seen these same spots so many times now and they’re getting repetitive, making them weaker every time.

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night.

Here’s the live presentation to the crowd. The class this year is: Stu Hart (represented by his kids), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker, Gorgeous George (represented by his wife) and Ted DiBiase (BIG ovation).

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. Sheamus was the next big thing in late 2009 and won the WWE Title. HHH beat him inside the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus revealed that he had always wanted to be like HHH. This led to Sheamus attacking HHH over and over again, setting up the obvious match.

HHH vs. Sheamus

I forgot to mention this big cylinder that hangs from the middle of the roof with a mini Tron video for whomever is coming out. They shove each other into the corner until HHH slugs Sheamus down into another corner. Back up and they pound away on each other with HHH taking over with a knee drop. They head to the floor for nothing of note so it’s back inside for a chop block and the Figure Four to Sheamus.

After quickly grabbing a rope, Sheamus comes back with more brawling stuff and sends HHH to the floor for a bit. The move which would become known as the Irish Curse hits and there’s a second one for good measure. We get into the standard pounding down in the corner by Sheamus followed by an ax handle to the head for two. Sheamus drops some elbows and puts on a quick chinlock before a powerslam gets two.

We hit an armbar of all things on the Game which shows off how different the skin tones of these guys are. HHH comes back with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and a DDT for the same. Back up and the high knee sets up the facebuster for two but the Pedigree is countered with a leg trip. They fight to the corner but Sheamus slips between the legs to try the High Cross, only to be countered into the Pedigree. That gets countered as well and the yet to be named Brogue Kick gets two.

Back up again and HHH hits the spinebuster for two and both guys are down again. Sheamus staggers to the apron and manages a Brogue Kick from there but can’t cover. Back in and HHH grabs the Pedigree out of absolutely NOWHERE for the quick pin. That would be Sheamus’ first singles loss.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here with Sheamus looking more than good in his first Wrestlemania match. This was a good way to make the pale one look good and the win over HHH the next month at Extreme Rules would make that even better. Sheamus was definitely here to stay which would become very clear in the near future.

We recap Punk vs. Mysterio. Mysterio had cost Punk an MITB spot so Punk had set his sights on Mysterio in retaliation. Punk has been stalking Rey and his family for weeks now, leading up to Punk interrupting Rey’s daughter’s 9^th birthday by singing Happy Birthday to her. Punk made Mysterio look like a coward because Rey didn’t want to fight with his family in the ring with him. This led to the match and the stipulation that if Rey loses, he has to join the Straightedge Society.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has Serena and Luke Gallows (Doc from Aces and 8’s) with him. On the way to the ring, Punk gets on the crowd for being high on drugs which makes them think Mysterio is a superhero. Punk isn’t a monster but rather a savior who can lead everyone to a better place. After tonight, it will be one nation under Punk with sobriety for all. This year Mysterio is dressed like the aliens from Avatar which is rather different to put it mildly.

A Gallows distraction lets Punk take over but he gets sent face first into the middle buckl. Rey misses a charge and gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some solid stomping. A baseball slide misses Rey though and we get the Mr. Perfect sliding crotch into the post. Rey tries a rolling cradle to the floor but gets dropped face first onto the steps instead. We head back inside and it’s off to a chinlock by the guy whose face you can actually see.

Rey fights up but gets sent to the apron for a seated senton. A springboard seated senton is caught into a belly to belly and another counter into a rollup gets two. Punk counters a rana by flipping Rey onto his feet and hits the high kick for two. They grab a test of strength grip and Rey climbs the ropes and moonsaults into a DDT for two in a cool spot.

The 619 is caught into a GTS attempt but Rey escapes to the apron. A kick to Punk’s head looks to set up the frog splash but it only gets mat. That gets two for Punk but Rey headscissors him into 619 position. Serena makes the save but a second attempt connects and it’s a springboard splash for the pin for Rey.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but it wasn’t bad. These two would go on for months and the matches really did get to be solid stuff. Mysterio was always good for stuff like this and Punk as the straightedge messiah was always a cool gimmick. This really could have used another five minutes or so too.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. Do you REALLY need an explanation for this one? Bret returned back in January and Vince kicked him low. Bret wanted a fight and pretended to break his leg in order to get Vince to fight him at Wrestlemania. Vince signed, Bret took the cast off, and the match was made.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.

Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.

Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.

We’re going to Atlanta for Wrestlemania 27. Cole says there’s going to be a great guest host for it. I know he couldn’t know that at the time, but man that’s some AWESOME unintentional foreshadowing.

There’s a new attendance record: 72,219. Wait it might not be a record. Why would this make a difference? Either way it gets a fireworks display, which doesn’t look great given that it’s still daylight.

We recap Edge vs. Jericho. They had been tag champions but Edge snapped an Achilles tendon and had to drop his share. Edge came back to win the Rumble and gets a title shot tonight. The idea was that Edge was obsessed with spearing Jericho which didn’t really work all that well. He did it over and over again until Jericho actually hit him during the charge. Why that was so hard beforehand I’m not sure.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho grabs a quick headlock to take Edge down but the challenger comes back with a flying shoulder. A flapjack puts Jericho down but he bails to avoid a spear. Back in and Jericho gets in a boot to the face and a baseball slide sends Edge out to the floor. A belly to back suplex gets two in the ring for Jericho and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and Jericho misses a charge into the post and Edge is to his feet again.

Jericho drops Edge ribs first onto the top rope and we head to the floor again. Edge comes back with a clothesline off the apron and we go back inside. Jericho crotches Edge as he goes up but Edge blocks a superplex. Back on the mat and Jericho can’t get the Walls but Edge can hit a top rope cross body, only to have Jericho roll through it for two. Another Walls attempt is broken up but Jericho kicks him in the face to put Edge down again.

The Codebreaker is countered but Jericho jumps over the spear into a cradle into the Walls in the middle of the ring. Edge rolls through that and hooks a small package for two but Jericho kicks him right back down. The Lionsault misses and Edge gets two off the Edge-O-Matic. An enziguri gets two for the champion and what I think was a forearm smash to the back of Edge’s head off the middle rope puts Edge down again. Jericho tries a spear of his own, only to charge into a big boot.

The real spear charges into a Codebreaker in an AWESOME counter. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two so Jericho goes after the recently repaired ankle. Now the Walls are put on again but Jericho shifts it over to a half crab which is the smart move here. Edge FINALLY makes a rope and even gets a rollup for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and as they head back in we lose the referee, allowing Jericho to hit Edge in the head with the belt for two. Not that it matters as the Codebreaker retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: B. Much like Mysterio vs. Punk, this really could have been something special with more time. Jericho winning was a big surprise here but it’s one of those things that I can more than live with after this very solid match. Edge not winning was a nice thing to see as it doesn’t just hand him another world title. Yeah imagine that: making people earn world titles. Swagger would cash in on Jericho on Smackdown two days later.

Post match Jericho tries to go after the ankle even more but Edge fights back and puts Jericho on the announce table. With a running start, Edge runs over two announce tables and spears Jericho off the table and through the barricade.

We look at the dark match battle royal, won by Yoshi Tatsu.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

Beth is in white here and man alive it REALLY works for her. She’s also a face here which is really rare. Vickie and Gail start with Kim getting shoved backwards. Vickie poses and when she turns around, it’s Beth. All the good girls take their turns on Vickie in the corner so she shouts at them. Michelle breaks up a pin by Kelly and we already begin the parade of finishers (Gail totally botches Eat Defeat), culminating with Beth ENDING Fox with the Glam Slam. Michelle saves Vickie from Beth with a big boot before putting Vickie on the top rope. The “Hog Splash” is enough to pin Kelly.

Rating: D. Laycool and Beth looked GREAT out there so it doesn’t fail for them. No one else was in there long enough to make much of an impression, but again it’s amazing how much better the Divas are at this point. They have personalities and actual emotions instead of just staring at cue cards and botching everything they do.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena survived the Chamber and won the title, but Vince pulled a New Year’s Revolution and made him immediately defend against Batista, which was payment for Big Dave helping out Vince recently. The result was a rematch for the title here at Wrestlemania. Do you need more than that?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

This is a rematch from Summerslam 2008. Cena’s big entrance this year is a full military honor guard. They lock up to start with the champion grabbing a quick headlock. John grabs one of his own and takes it down to the mat. That goes nowhere so Cena tries pounding away in the corner, only to have Batista clothesline him down. A running boot to the side of Cena’s head has him in more trouble and there’s a second for good measure.

The idea here is that Batista is going after Cena’s neck which he broke back in 2008. Cena comes back with a suplex and the bulldog for two but the AA is countered into a fast DDT for two. Off to a rear naked choke by Batista to crank on the neck even more. John fights up and they slug it out for the boo/yay chants. A quick neckbreaker gets two for the champion and it’s off to a front facelock on Cena.

A backdrop finally puts Batista down and there are the shoulder blocks to keep him down. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Batista pops up with his spinebuster to plant Cena. The Batista Bomb is countered into the STF though and Batista is in trouble. He finally makes the rope and comes back with a spear for two before sitting Cena on the top. In a cool spot they have a test of strength on the top with Cena slugging Batista down to the mat. Cena busts out a top rope Shuffle but Batista grabs the rope to block the AA.

There’s the Batista Bomb out of nowhere but Cena is up at two. Batista loads up another but after a series of counters, Cena this a BIG release AA for two. Cena goes up top and dives right into a spinebuster which is the same move that resulted in his broken neck a year and a half ago. The Batista Bomb is countered into the STF though and after a long time, Batista taps away the title.

Rating: B+. These two know how to have the big time match. Cena winning was the right move to get his win back from a year and a half ago while also taking out Batista for what happened back in February. At the end of the day, it’s John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. This had to be good by definition.

We recap Shawn vs. Taker. They had their masterpiece last year and Shawn became obsessed with beating Taker because he made one mistake. Shawn wanted a rematch and after superkicking Taker and costing him the world title in the Chamber, Taker said yes. There was a condition though: it was Streak vs. Career. Shawn said if he can’t win, there’s no reason for him to stay in the ring. There was no way this couldn’t main event the show, and with the match we just got done with, that says a lot.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

You can only win by pin or submission. They stare each other down and Shawn does the throat slit. Taker charges into some chops in the corner but Shawn is thrown into a Flair Flip in the corner, followed by snake eyes and the big boot. Old School is broken up a few times but the third try hits perfectly. The chokeslam is countered and Shawn goes after the leg. A quick Tombstone attempt is blocked and Shawn tries for the Crossface, only to be grabbed by the throat.

Taker grabs the arm as well but has to back away from Sweet Chin Music. Now Shawn is going after the knee and Taker is in trouble. Michaels goes for some stomps in the corner but the big man gets in an uppercut to send Shawn to the floor. Taker loads up the Dive but Shawn slides back in for a chop block. They head to the floor for Undertaker to take over with the apron legdrop. It hurts his leg again though and the big man can’t follow up.

Back in and Shawn takes out the leg again and there’s a Figure Four. Taker sits up and has them there crazy eyes…but can’t break up the hold. Scratch that as he can with pure power and Shawn lets it go. They slug it out on their feet again with Taker taking over with the strikes. Shawn comes back with the forearm and there’s the nipup. Unfortunately he walks into the chokeslam for a close two. Shawn busts out an ankle lock of all things and the grapevine is added as well.

Undertaker gets on his back and punches his way out of it but Shawn sends him to the floor. There’s a springboard cross body but Taker counters into a Tombstone on the floor. Shawn flailing to escape and then stopping cold was perfect. Back in and that somehow only gets two so Taker tries the Last Ride. The leg gives out again and Shawn counters into a kind of X-Factor for two. The big elbow hits knees, but that hurt Taker just as much as it hurt Shawn.

Michaels gets caught in Hell’s Gate but he flips forward into a rollup for two, making Undertaker break the hold. Back up again and there’s the superkick out of nowhere for two. Now Shawn tunes up the band but Taker catches it coming in and hits a full on Last Ride for two. Undertaker throws him to the floor and loads up the announce table. The Last Ride through the table is escaped and there’s a superkick to put Taker on the table. Shawn busts out a moonsault but mainly hits Taker’s legs. It would have looked great from a distance though.

Back in again and the superkick hits perfect but somehow only gets two. The fans are calling this awesome and I can’t say I’m arguing at all. Another superkick misses and there’s a big chokeslam. Taker can’t follow up though….until he plants Shawn with a Tombstone. THAT gets two and Taker is shocked. The Dead Man pulls the straps down but stops himself before doing the throat slit. Shawn pulls himself up on Taker’s body and does the throat slit himself, admitting that he can’t do it. Taker stares at him so Shawn slaps Taker in the face. That does it and it’s a jumping Tombstone to end Shawn’s career.

Rating: A+. That throat slit is as close to Shakespeare as WWE is ever going to get. Shawn going out in a masterpiece like this was as good as it was going to get and Undertaker gets to have another great match on his resume. Shawn has actually stayed retired which is the right move, because he’s not going to top this with one more match. It’s excellent even though it’s somehow a step below last year’s match.

Undertaker isn’t sure what to do now as the lights go out and 18-0 flashes on screen. Shawn still hasn’t moved. Taker helps Shawn up and they shake hands to a big ovation. Undertaker lets Shawn stand in the ring alone and soak up one last round of applause. Shawn slowly walks up the aisle and slaps hands. Shawn: “I’m going to drive my kids crazy in three weeks.” He walks to the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a very solid show for the most part with an excellent main event. On top of that you only have one bad match and that had Beth looking all hot in white. Other than that you have Batista vs. Cena and a good Edge vs. Jericho match. The rest of the card isn’t bad either, making this the third straight pretty solid Wrestlemania.

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and make sure you pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

King of the Ring 1997
Date: June 8, 1997
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 9,312
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon

Welcome to the dark ages. The NWO is just killing the WWF at the moment and nothing at all is going right for Vince and company. Actually that’s not true, as we have a bald guy that turned face at Mania and is rapidly approaching the biggest star run of about three years in history. He’s got HBK tonight in a completely forgotten match. Other than that of course we have the tournament which is the final four again here which is how it should be on the PPV.

The main event is Farrooq vs. Taker for the title. And they wonder why they were getting their heads handed to them. The Border War is on at the moment and Canadian Stampede is next month, and for those of you that know about that, you know this is an awesome time when sadly no one was watching. Let’s get to it.

Oh apparently Shawn and Austin are the tag champions. Yeah I remember that really well. The intro is as basic as you could get but the music accompanying the pyro is really weird. It’s almost chilling and I love it. Ross says this is like the World Series or the Super Bowl. That’s just amusing.

King of the Ring Semi–Final: Ahmed Johnson vs. HHH

Now to get to this round, Ahmed already beat HHH, but he complained about having had a match that day already so he got another shot and beat Crush to get here. HHH was supposed to win the previous year and get the Austin push, but due to the MSG Incident, there was no one else to punish. HBK was champion and untouchable and Hall and Nash were leaving so HHH took the fall for it.

Johnson was just about to outlive his lifecycle here as a big deal as he would get hurt all the time and would gain too much weight to come back. For some reason Ahmed is on the poster for this show along with Taker, Austin and HBK which is just odd. Again I want to know, WHAT IS THE NEED FOR BRACKETS FOR FOUR PEOPLE??? What in the world happened to all of HHH’s money? Apparently he had a wrestling tutor. I want one of those!

Ahmed beats on him for a bit and then throws in a curtsey, which I don’t like as he’s supposed to more or less be a killing machine. It amazes me that HHH started off as such a tiny guy and now is about as big as Johnson. Vince says HHH knows all the tricks of the game. That’s just amusing. It will never cease to amaze me how different the careers of two wrestlers can go. Look at these two.

Who in the world would have guessed that HHH would be a first ballot hall of famer and Ahmed wouldn’t last another year? Ivan Putski trained Johnson. That clears up a lot of things. This is a pretty generic match although it’s not boring. HHH was really just getting the hang of his character and in ring style here and it shows. Ahmed is nothing but power and that shows even worse.

You can also see the beginnings of HHH’s muscle mass creeping in. He actually goes to the top for a double axe which works. They botch what looked like was supposed to be a back body drop but they saved it well enough I guess.

After Ahmed beats on him for a bit and sets for the Plunge, Chyna gets up on the apron to distract him. Granted I would think a shiny penny or a thing of cotton candy would distract Ahmed. It allows HHH to get a knee (shocking) to the back and the Pedigree (looked bad) for the pin.

Rating: C+. Eh, it did its job I guess. HHH wasn’t a jobber anymore as he was really starting to get a lot of what would come to define his character down here. Ahmed was on his way to bigger although I wouldn’t say better things due to injury, but we’ll get to that later on today. Also, HHH has the classical music for his theme here, which I’ve always loved.

We look at the brackets in case you’re intellectually challenged.

King of the Ring Semi–Finals: Mankind vs. Jerry Lawler

Ok, seriously, what’s the second match? Did someone really think this was a good idea? Something tells me this isn’t going to go well. Foley is more or less a face now, but he’s still the freak that no one understands. He beat Vega and Lawler beat Goldust. Seriously, in mid 1997 Lawler was being kind of pushed? Seriously? I guess it makes sense as it helped Mankind’s face turn.

Just to further the brilliant booking, Mankind had to have a botch from the Nation of Domination to let him beat Savio. That’s just freaking stupid but then again, what do I know? Foley cuts a promo about being a King that Vince keeps laughing at for no apparent reason. Vince seriously needs to shut up half of the time. He does quote a few 50s songs so that helps a bit.

Lawler is with Pettingill who has to be on his way out at this point. He does his walking to the ring promo that he did last year which was awesome last year. It’s nowhere near as good this year but I think a big part of that is he didn’t have the same amount of time which messed things up a bit. He does rip into Foley with some good stuff though so there we are. Jerry is a freaking master on the mic.

People today need to pay attention to his old stuff as he’s getting great heat for some very basic insults. LEARN FROM HIM PEOPLE! To the shock of anyone that has no idea what they’re talking about, they start by brawling on the floor.

Lawler spends most of the match running as we get a Memphis and Lawler history lesson from out of absolutely nowhere, as Ross talks about Lawler being discovered by Lance Russell as a disc jockey and then being trained by Jackie Fargo. That came from nowhere and was cool if nothing else. Also, it’s true, which is something you don’t hear about often.

This is pretty much a Lawler 101 match, as he gets beaten down for a bit and then gets the foreign object (I think it was Welsh) for the turnaround while he shouts at the crowd. Hey, it’s worked for 20 years so why change things now? Foley of course takes some sick bumps on the floor as according to Flair, that’s all he knows how to do. I’ll ignore that for now as I don’t want to bash Flair for a page or so.

Lawler hits his running joke of a dropkick. Basically as most of you know, Lawler isn’t exactly a ring master. One night in Memphis he hit a dropkick and acted like it was a huge deal. He kept doing it and it became part of his repitoire, but every time he acted like it was a huge deal. You know, like Cena hitting the FU on Big Show. Piledriver gets two. Apparently Paul Bearer is hanging with Taker again.

In an ending that I liked a lot more than I should have I think, Lawler goes for another piledriver but Mankind reverses with a backdrop. Lawler goes for a sunset flip, but Foley gets the Claw for the knock out win. I LOVE that. It’s so simple that it worked so well. It was completely out of character for Foley, but it showed that he was a lot smarter than he was made out to be. That was really good.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. Foley and Lawler are two guys that know what to do out there and they did exactly what they were supposed to do. The problem was that it was mainly Foley taking sick bumps and no selling stuff to come up at the end with a cool finish, which was the only good part about the match. The ending was a nice nod that worked very well, but it couldn’t save this. I mean really, JERRY LAWLER???

We look at the brackets again just because we have to I guess.

Pillman is in the back talking about how he wants Austin, so Austin sneaks up on him to beat on him and shove his head in a toilet, which there just happened to be a camera mounted above. Yeah good job there production team.

Crush vs. Goldust

Is this some screwed up consolation match or something? This is a great example of why the company was in trouble at the time. There was no point to this but they’ll have it anyway. The Nation is about 10 people here which really was a good idea. They used to hire actors to make it look bigger, which really is brilliant. They mention that he used to be in Demolition which is common knowledge but not something you hear about often.

This was around the time when Vince let Ross be himself and it worked a lot better. This moronic crowd actually pops a bit for Goldust. Why they do that is beyond me but whatever. We ever get a Skandor Akbar reference as Ross is going nuts at the moment. This would be right before the Pillman angle started which was the last one he would ever have. Ross says that Pillman is likely nearly suicidal.

That’s another one of those chilling lines that no one knew how chilling it was at the time. Ross mentions that Terri used to do Larry King’s makeup which is another true thing. We go over the Russo based series of turns and twists that the Nation has been going through. It would be blown up somewhat soon as Rock would join and become a star. Apparently a win here would fulfill Goldust’s American Dream.

I love lines like that which a ton of people had no idea what it meant. Ross follows that up with a jab at Bill Watts and we hear the REAL history of the King of the Ring as a disc jockey said that there should be an annual tournament in New England, meaning Boston or Providence. That started in the mid 80s and never stopped. They dropped the New England aspect though which is a shame. Why is it a shame? I don’t know, but whatever.

Ross is sounding like one of my reviews, but with more interesting stuff. Apparently Monsoon is sick and can’t be here, but he’s by the phone in case a decision is needed. You might have noticed I haven’t talked about the match at all. There’s a reason for that: IT SUCKS. I mean seriously, this would be bad on a house show and it’s getting 10 minutes of PPV time. Crush is more or less sitting on the back with his hands on Goldust’s face, which is called a chinlock.

Goldie kicks and slaps the mat to try to get the fans into it and that actually works. There are few universal truths in wrestling, but one of them will always be that the fans love nothing more than to get involved in a match. We’re told that Goldust is a chip off the old block. Whose block? Well we’re not told but whatever. The Nation, read as D’Lo and the lawyer, goes after Terri. The fans scream BEHIND YOU GOLDUST, which is another thing I love about wrestling: the wrestlers don’t listen.

Anyway, they go back in and a DDT ends it. Seriously: this got ten minutes. Apparently Goldust has a European Title match tomorrow night. Was that the point of this match? To build up Goldie for the title match? It might have been better if that was mentioned before the ending of the match.

Rating: D-. When the highlight of the match is Ross and his stories, that’s not a good sign. This just wasn’t interesting at all and there was zero point to putting this on PPV. It wasn’t interesting at all and it was boring as heck on top of it.

Doc is with Sid and the LOD who are all Americans so they’re a team apparently. Hawk is of course odd when speaking.

Todd is with the heels. Davey is Euro Champion and Owen is IC Champion and has two Slammys. Neidhart used to be a champion like 6 years ago. Oh and he would beat Jay Lethal in about 12 years.

Hart Foundation vs. Sid/Legion of Doom

The Harts here are Owen, Jim and Davey, giving us a total of one Hart in the entire Foundation for this match. I love stupid things like that. Why do I have a feeling the heels are going to win and win easily here? This is being written about 3 days after Bret signed with WWE again, so this is very interesting indeed. There’s a sign in the crowd about cheese for no apparent reason.

The faces come out separately which is rather pointless. The LOD get a decent pop but you could tell their time was about over. This takes FOREVER to get going as we get an LOD chant. It’s Owen and Animal to start us up. Hey, call the Superstar line and run up the phone bill to hear bad promos! More or less all we have here is random power matches as five guys in this match are power guys, and no one saw anything wrong with this.

Also, no one saw a problem with putting THE FREAKING LOD AND SID together as a three man team against two good wrestlers and a generic power guy in Anvil, and yet they had the NERVE to wonder why they were having their heads handed to them. Anvil was a political science major at UCLA. All of a sudden my future seems far more bleak. Seriously, who in the WORLD thought Anvil vs. Hawk was a good idea?

You have two guys that have made a career out of not getting hurt. Just as I type that, Hawk takes a piledriver and of course is up before anyone else. Owen comes in and goes insane. Dang how good could he have been as a veteran? Imagine him vs. Angle or Jericho in 2000-2001. Owen would have been in his late 30s then and definitely capable of working well. He’s two and a half months older than Shawn, so it’s completely realistic that he could still be wrestling and having very good matches today.

He EASILY would have won the world title in there somewhere given the absolute awfulness of some of the champions since then. I mean seriously, who would have been better as champion: Owen or Khali? Anyway, this match is just BAD. Yeah, the match ends and I’ve got nothing at all. Owen wins with a top rope sunset flip. Sid would be gone either the next night or in 8 days.

Rating: F. Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? This fails for reasons that I’ve already given. Owen and Animal were ok, but that’s it. This was just pathetic.

Todd is with Mankind who says that he just can’t wait to be king. Is there any doubt as to why he’s my all time favorite wrestler?

King of the Ring Finals: Mankind vs. HHH

Geez this would be the money feud in about two and a half years. Man I love HHH’s music here. It might be the best music for someone other than a custom made song that I’ve ever heard. I think they kind of screwed up here as Ahmed was more or less the given winner and they him lose clean to someone that was FAR beneath him on the totem poll coming into this. Ross says he can’t picture Chyna as a queen.

That actually is rather amusing. They point out that Mankind has a high IQ and that Dude Love would love tonight. That would happen in about three months. Well I suppose this is better than either guy against Ahmed, which wouldn’t have gone well and Ahmed vs. Lawler would have gone all of 5 minutes at best before Ahmed looked completely awful. To no one’s surprise, this is mainly a brawl.

The mask is already off of Mankind as he’s still selling the neck injury from earlier. The referee throws out Chyna as we’re STILL on the floor. Let’s go to a table just to have some more fun. These were different tables than we’re used to today as they were thicker and sounded much better. A Pedigree through it has Foley more or less out cold. Oh never mind he’s up 12 seconds later.

He’s apparently auditioning for the X Division with that kind of selling. Chyna breaks a scepter over his back which is called his head for some reason by Vince. Let’s just keep it on the floor since it’s worked for about 15 minutes so far. There’s pretty much no flow to this at all as it’s just HHH beating up Foley who takes one sick bump after another.

This is what’s called garbage wrestling, even though there’s a ton of talent in there. To be fair though, the pop for Foley is AWESOME when he kicks out. Another Pedigree gets the pin though, so just like at the 2000 Rumble, the pop is all for naught.

Rating: D+. And the grade here is because I like Foley and won’t give him a failing grade. This was a total and complete mess. It was just way too violent and all over the place with MAYBE 5 minutes of a twenty minute match in the ring. That’s CZW bad level and just completely ridiculous. What was the point of this? I seriously don’t get that. If this had been ten minutes shorter, it would have been light years better.

There is no coronation as he just puts the robe on and beats on Foley some more. They would have an intense show long fight at the next PPV before blowing it off at Summerslam in a great cage match that Foley won.

Austin tells Doc that he doesn’t care about the Harts or the belts, but just wanting to win tonight. We get a quick recap of Austin vs. Shawn. More or less, they both hate the Harts but hate each other. Since Russo is the booker, they are the perfect choices to be tag team champions, which they are here. Austin had beaten up Bret on Raw a few weeks ago after they won the belts which is why he’s not here tonight.

The original big match here was supposed to be Bret vs. Shawn II but they had had a legit backstage fight, and since only Shamrock and maybe Owen could hang with Bret in a legit shoot fight given what Bret knew about submission, they figured it was better to have this instead of Bret potentially killing Shawn.

The Harts throw out an open challenge for Canadian Stampede, which was probably the best crowd in WWF history. As they’re leaving they run into Austin in the back and security stops their near brawl. Austin was rapidly becoming a huge deal around this time and no one knew how big he would become very soon.

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

This would become the match in about 10 months but here’s it’s just the other main event that really was the biggest match on the card. Shawn says that he is just worried about the match. Doc says this has been a crazy show. Shawn gets a very nice pop, although not epic. As odd as it sounds, this just doesn’t feel like a bit match at all. Shawn would get hurt soon (again) and have to forfeit his half of the belts, which Dude Love took.

Austin would then get hurt and the titles would be forfeited again, this time with the Headbangers of all teams getting them. Austin starts off hot but a Special Olympian falls over the railing and has to be helped up. Well ok then. Shawn of course gets things going a lot faster as you would expect. He flips Austin off in an amusing moment. He goes to the floor and helps the kid to the back, which is fine. If nothing else it’s classy.

You can tell he has a mental disability so it’s perfectly understandable that he simply fell like that. Still, those games are very cool so I can’t complain a bit. They kind of touch on the insane popularity that Austin is reaching. Amazingly enough, this was just the tip of the iceberg to say the least. This is the Austin that was able to wrestle almost any style as he was much faster and much more athletic at this point.

That would change in about 2 months. The look in Austin’s eyes is almost mesmerizing. He just looks awesome on a lot of levels. Austin is MOVING out there. If I didn’t know what he would become I never would have believed it. He hits the floor and pulls back the mats as the fans are into this. This has been more or less all Stone Cold here. He does something that I can’t remember anyone else doing: he ducks the forearm that Shawn uses to start his comebacks.

Well I’ll be. It’s that simple? Both guys are incredibly popular here. We finally get to the finish after a ton of great back and forth stuff, as the referee gets rammed and Austin hits the Stunner. No referee though, so Austin ducks the chin music and somehow stuns the referee and walks into the kick.

More referees come down and they get beaten up too for the double DQ. That’s really the only ending possible here as they made both guys look great and neither could lose. I would have preferred a time limit, but that’s Vince for you.

Rating: A. This was GREAT stuff with two A-list guys beating the tar out of each other in front of a small but hot crowd. It didn’t really further anything as Michaels got hurt, but I liked it a lot which a lot of people likely won’t.

The Nation says Farooq will win.

WWF Title: Farrooq vs. Undertaker

This is really just a token title defense as no one thought the title was changing here at all. Seriously, FARROOQ was the best they could do? They couldn’t have thrown Owen in there or something? Taker tries to talk but Bearer cuts him off. Bearer is controlling Taker because of a secret he’s holding over him, which was that he killed his parents in a fire, where he had a brother as well. You know the story from there. Taker gets a great pop.

That belt just looks right on Taker. Farrooq, as a heel, of course jumps him while Bearer is yelling at him. I really don’t like the idea of power vs. power here. Taker starts out fast but Farrooq fights back with the generic power offense. Oh look the Nation is interfering. Could you write a more basic match than this? I don’t think I could either. They go back and forth with power moves and the crowd is just dead as possible. NO ONE cares at all, as this was following Michaels and Austin.

Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? The referee goes down and no one cares because it leads nowhere. Bearer yells at Taker to get up and the Nation starts fighting. This would lead to their split into three gangs which no one cared about but the feud got pushed for months anyway. Farrooq slams Taker which is apparently devastating and the arguing distracts him long enough for the tombstone to end this.

Bearer yells at Taker for like 5 minutes until Ahmed comes out to play peacekeeper. Taker gets tired of listening to him so he swings and takes the Plunge. Johnson just leaves and Taker gets up and stalks Bearer to end the show.

Johnson would join the Nation for like a week before getting hurt again and coming back to feud with them AGAIN before leaving for good in January. The Johnson Taker match never happened, which was either due to injury or the name Johnson Taker being copyrighted by Jenna Jameson. It might have been either.

Rating: D-. Seriously, THIS followed Austin and Michaels’ classic. If that was flipped, this would have been a lot better. These two just completely clashed and it was terrible. There was no point to this and nothing was accomplished other than to set up a PPV main event that never happened. In case you were wondering, the WCW PPV main event this month was Savage vs. DDP, falls count anywhere which was a good match. Think about that comparison for a bit.

Overall Rating: D. There’s nothing great here other than one match and then a few decent moments in some bad matches. This was a bad show other than the Austin match as little happened other than to set up two matches at Canadian Stampede. HHH winning meant nothing as he was already about that level and Foley was already over as a face.

Go find Austin vs. Michaels as it’s a great match and completely different from their Mania 14 match. Both are healthy here and it’s amazing to see what they’re capable of in that condition. Other than that, stay far away.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at: