Impact Wrestling – May 10, 2019: The Problem With The Entire Company

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2019
Location: Rebel Sports Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Canada and we still don’t have a World Champion around at the moment due to Brian Cage’s back injury. What we do have though is a new #1 contender in the form of Michael Elgin, who seems rather content with waiting around until Cage gets back. I’m not sure what that means for this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap, with the World Title situation getting some extra time, as it should.

Opening sequence.

Josh: “We sit just fifty eight days away from Slammiversary!” You might want to wait a bit on that countdown.

Moose/Josh Alexander vs. LAX

Non-title and no Konnan with LAX. Alexander and Santana start things off with an exchange of wristlocks until Ortiz comes in for the running splash. It’s off to Moose, who puts Ortiz on top and dropkicks him to the floor. That leaves Callus enough time to list off Moose’s athletic stats and then say they’re off the charts. Hence why they have been charted you see. Back to Alexander for some forearms in the corner and the required chinlock.

Ortiz fights up and suplexes Alexander into a Stunner for the tag off to Santana. Moose gets sent outside and it’s a double flapjack into a facebuster combination to drop Alexander again. It’s already back to Moose for the power, including a powerbomb to Ortiz onto Santana. The chokebomb gets two on Santana but Moose hits Alexander by mistake, allowing LAX to hit a double enziguri. With Moose down on the ground, LAX hits their usual flurry into the double faceplant to finish Alexander at 7:38.

Rating: C. LAX can do no wrong at this point and that was the case again here, with another entertaining performance against a team that didn’t have the best chemistry. If nothing else though, hearing “their opponents, Moose and Josh Alexander” sounds a lot better than The North. That’s such a bad name for a team and while their work is good, it sounds like the most indy of names.

Madison Rayne is ready for her third non-title match against Taya Valkyrie, even if Taya doesn’t have to defend the title for thirty days. I get the story they’re going for here, but Madison is another shining example of what is wrong with a lot of the roster: she’s perfectly adequate. She’s going to give you a fine match, a fine promo and a fine everything, but there’s no reaching for the next level. Madison, along with so many others on the roster, are a safe bet and that’s a big reason why Impact never goes any higher than they already are.

Tommy Dreamer gives his partners a big pep talk about how they’re all a bunch of misfits. He knows about that, because he used to work for ECW. I actually yelled at my screen OH MY GOODNESS SHUT UP ABOUT ECW. Dreamer promises that the team will fight tonight, because this is the kind of company he wants to fight for.

Announcers’ preview.

Madison Rayne vs. Taya Valkyrie

Non-title again and Tessa Blanchard comes out for commentary, definitely acting a lot more faceish. Taya heads straight outside for the stalling so Madison chases her back inside, where the champ gets in a dropkick to the head. That means the always annoying break less than a minute in and we come back with Madison hitting a running shoulder in the corner.

Taya throws her down again and we have an inset window showing Tessa on commentary. I don’t really need to watch commentary talking, but EGADS is that better than cutting to Gail every ten seconds. Taya cuts off a springboard with a faceplant and it’s a Jeff Hardy legdrop between the legs. A little dance sets up Taya bending Madison’s ribs around the post as the announcers talk almost non-stop about Gail vs. Tessa.

Back in and Madison gets in a tornado DDT, followed by a few forearms for two. A windup cutter gives Madison two as Tessa forgets that this is non-title. Taya stops for more trash talk and slow kicks to the back/chest. A big kick is countered into a half crab and Taya taps immediately at 12:08.

Rating: C-. The story is fine and they can do a title match before Slammiversary, but I’m still not buying Madison as a top challenger. She hasn’t missed a step since her previous run, but that doesn’t make her all that inspiring. Taya tapping so fast makes sense and it’s very nice that they’re doing a story with the champion losing over and over again rather than just doing it and rarely going anywhere other than “here’s a title shot to make it 50/50”.

This week’s Flashback Moment of the Week: Rob Van Dam beats Abyss at Bound For Glory.

Van Dam thinks he’s facing Diamond Dallas Page tonight instead of Ethan Page. He’s not worried about Rob Van Dam.

Rosemary wants a Demon Collar match against Su Yung, winner take all. That would be all the souls/people I presume?

Jordynne Grace vs. Alexia Nicole

Grace shrugs off the kicks to the leg and hits a one armed delayed vertical suplex. Nicole’s sleeper doesn’t work at all and it’s a giant swing to make it even worse. A clothesline goes even worse for Nicole and Grave hits a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb. The Grace Driver is good for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D. Grace continues to look dominant and at some point they’ll make her the monster champion that she should be. Sometimes you need a nice squash like this as it’s one of the best ways to keep someone over. She doesn’t have anything going on right now but keeping her dominant on TV like this works just fine.

Josh Alexander gives Ethan Page a pep talk for his match with Van Dam tonight.

Kiera Hogan walked away from Rosemary last week because that’s what Rosemary wanted. She has tried to be friends with everyone around here and it hasn’t worked. Grace comes in to say they are friends but Kiera doesn’t care about her. Grace can die like Allie did.

Ethan Page vs. Rob Van Dam

Alexander is here with Page and the announcers talk about Van Dam’s marijuana enthusiasm as both villains yell at Rob. They’re knocked to the floor as the discussion moves over to ECW and all the great moments Rob had there. An Alexander distraction breaks up the spinning kick to Page’s back and it’s Page taking over in the corner.

A backbreaker and suplex have Van Dam in trouble but he’s back with kicks to the face. Rolling Thunder looks to set up the Five Star but Alexander’s distraction lets Page get up. There’s a bicycle kick to Rob, who is right back with a spinwheel kick. The Five Star (with very little elevation) finishes Page at 6:10.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t terrible or even bad, but it was a 48 year old Van Dam playing the hits while the announcers tried to treat it as anything other than nostalgia/a way to draw a crowd for Philadelphia next week. There’s nothing wrong with Van Dam not being able to do it as well as he used to, but treating him like he’s still the same athlete is hard to take. Bringing Rob back in makes sense as he has star power, but I’m worried about how hard they’re going to push him at this point.

Brian Cage is still injured and starting rehab on his back soon.

Johnny Impact comes up to Michael Elgin and they argue over who injured Cage. Elgin will send him to the hospital to prove he’s right.

Deaners vs. Desi Hit Squad vs. Brent Banks/Aiden Prince vs. Rascalz

Banks flips a lot and dropkicks Raju into the corner so it’s off to Singh as we’re already in the rapid fire offense as no one is going to have time to really showcase themselves. The Squad takes over on Prince with a boot to the face giving Raju two. Prince gets in a kick of his own and the fans want the Deaners, showing that Canadian fans don’t have the best taste. The Deaners come in a few seconds later as everything breaks down with the Rascalz taking over. Wentz hits a big dive onto a bunch of people and Dezmond hits a cartwheel corkscrew dive but Raju uses the distraction to roll Cousin Jake up for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: D+. What am I supposed to say here? The Desi Hit Squad wins (because the Rascalz aren’t allowed to build any momentum) in a match with eight people trying to get stuff in over the course of about five minutes. It’s too much in one match and the Squad winning took away a lot of the energy that the match could have build up.

Killer Kross talks about stealing Kenny the Kendo Stick last week, which he did to prove a point. Now he wants to hear from Eddie Edwards. Tick tock.

LAX is in the Rascalz clubhouse and they talk about lions protecting the stash. Ortiz wants to fight the Rockers, the Eliminators, Bert and Ernie and Tango and Cash. Shots are consumed.

The announcers talk about going to the 2300 Arena next week and say EXTREME about half a dozen times.

Tommy Dreamer/Fallah Bahh/Rich Swann/Willie Mack vs. OVE

OVE Rules, meaning anything goes and Scarlett Bordeaux is here with the non-Ohioans. Joined in progress after a break with Bahh splashing Dave Crist in the corner. It’s time for some chairs with Dave being slammed onto the steel, leaving everyone to head outside. Mack comes back in and slams Sami, setting up a standing moonsault onto Dave. The big flip dive lets Mack knock everyone down, followed by Dave moonsaulting off the top onto everyone else. Jake dives, then Tommy dives as we get in the required exchange of dives out of the way. Dreamer heads to the back to get something as we take a break.

Back with the weapons abounding, including a big ladder that Dreamer pulled out. Dreamer wraps the ladder around his head and does the spinning knockdowns until Fulton gets in a shot to take over. Fulton sets the ladder up on the ramp as Sami and Dave beat on Fallah with a chair. That leaves Mack to pile a bunch of stuff up in the ring, only to take a cutter from Jake for two.

Bahh’s belly to belly onto a trashcan gets two but he’s fine enough to set up some chairs. A superplex to Dave is broken up with Fulton powerbombing Bahh through some chairs. The chair wrapped in barbed wire is sat on Bahh’s chest for a top rope double stomp into a near fall. Swann comes back in (Was he in at all?) and goes to the ladder but Fulton makes the save, allowing Dave to hit a super cutter off the ladder.

Fulton dives off the ladder into a Samoan drop to give Bahh two. Dreamer busts out the Legos and DDTs Sami and Dave onto them for no cover. That leaves the barefooted Bahh to walk onto the Legos but Fulton plants him with a chokeslam. Mack Stuns Fulton onto a chair but Sami blasts Mack with a stop sign. The Cactus Special onto the Legos gives Sami the pin at 16:29.

Rating: C+. It’s a garbage brawl that I’ve seen done a million times but they were putting in some effort and got the time to make it feel more violent. I’m not sure why you would have Mack take the fall when you have Dreamer in there, but they do seem to be teasing a Mack vs. Swann feud. This wasn’t bad, and thank goodness they didn’t put it in the ECW Arena instead.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it seems that they’re building up to both Slammiversary but more importantly the 2300 Arena shows. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m worried about how big of an ECW tribute we’ll have to sit through for the next few weeks. This wasn’t terrible, though they’ve lost some momentum from Rebellion.

Results

LAX b. Moose/Josh Alexander – Double faceplant to Alexander

Madison Rayne b. Taya Valkyrie – Half crab

Jordynne Grace b. Alexia Nicole – Grace Driver

Rob Van Dam b. Ethan Page – Five Star Frog Splash

Desi Hit Squad b. Rascalz, Brent Banks/Aiden Prince and Deaners – Rollup to Jake

OVE b. Tommy Dreamer/Fallah Bahh/Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Special to Mack

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – May 3, 2019: Canadian Hope

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 3, 2019
Location: Rebel Sports Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re past the rather good Rebellion show and the big story is Brian Cage winning the World Title but injuring his back so badly that he won’t be on TV for the time being. With the champ gone, odds are we’re going to be focusing on the #1 contendership, which could go in a variety of ways. Ok so it’s pretty clear who it’s going to be but there are options. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Rebellion, which was one of their best shows in a long time.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Michael Elgin (who debuted after the World Title match and laid out Cage) for a chat. Elgin talks about the time honored tradition of a new World Champion coming out to celebrate his title win with the new champ. So where is Cage now? That would be in the hospital, but Elgin has more important things to worry about. On Sunday, the Canadian fans cheered for Cage instead of sticking up for their Canadian heroes, like him. He left Japan to come here and be World Champion so he should get a title shot.

This brings out Johnny Impact (all in white for a cool look) to say he’s seen the muscle man with no brain, but this one doesn’t have hair. Elgin says Johnny’s testicles are in his wife’s purse, which Impact points out is Versace and expensive, unlike Elgin’s Highspots gear. Impact takes the credit for sending Elgin to the hospital but Elgin says it was the Elgin Bomb that left Cage laying. We hear about the rematch clause….and here’s Konnan to interrupt.

After making a gay joke, he talks about the main event on Sunday and how the Lucha Bros are familia. Pentagon should be getting the next title shot but Impact says he’s played games of Mario Kart that lasted longer than Pentagon’s title reign. Konnan: “Kind of like your movie career.” Elgin grabs Konnan so here’s Pentagon for the save and the brawl is on. With the champ gone, this is as good as anything else and they were smart to start the show hot to distract from the lack of Cage.

Tonight: Pentagon vs. Elgin vs. Impact for the #1 contendership.

We look at Cage getting injured on Sunday.

Preview for the rest of the night.

Ace Austin vs. Petey Williams

The fans sing O Canada for Williams as Impact continues to book for the live crowd instead of the larger audience. Petey headscissors him out to the floor to start but Ace hits a forearm to send Petey outside. That means a suicide dive and Austin’s rather impressive flips on the apron to frustrate Petey again. Back in and Ace gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Petey stands on his crotch for O Canada, earning himself a German superplex.

Ace pulls out a card to slice open Petey’s finger but Petey is right back with his swinging Russian legsweep. A kick to the head gives Austin two and the swinging double underhook slam is good for the same. Petey is right back with the Sharpshooter to send Austin bailing to the ropes so it’s a springboard spinning Fameasser to drop Petey again. The Fold misses so Petey hits his lifting Downward Spiral, only to get enziguried on top. Now the Fold can connect to give Austin for the pin at 7:19.

Rating: C. This was fine for a quick match with the right guy winning, which is about all you cak ask for with Petey. He shouldn’t be winning anything significant and the fans like him enough so this isn’t that bad. At least Austin won though, which is a good sign as I could see him being a success very soon.

Rosemary still has the Undead Maid of Honor on the chain and takes her to find a firefly.

OVE wants an eight man tag against Rich Swann next week, with any three people Swann can find. Anything goes.

Rosemary vs. Kiera Hogan

Rosemary has the Maid of Honor on the chain and ties her to the post in a smart move. Kiera starts fast and sends Rosemary into the corner for a running kick to the face. A side slam gets Rosemary out of trouble but a fireman’s carry doesn’t work. Some low superkicks give Kiera two but Rosemary is right back with a release German suplex. The Upside Down makes it even worse for Kiera so she sends Rosemary out onto the ramp. With Rosemary in trouble, cue Su Yung and the Undead Bridesmaids to jump Rosemary for the DQ at 4:27.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one, but Kiera is starting to get better and better in the ring every week. She has a charisma to her which makes her look like a stronger force and that’s a good sign for her future. Rosemary’s story is still going, though I’m not sure they know how to get to wherever they’re going.

Post match Su frees the Maid of Honor and everyone destroys Rosemary. Kiera thinks about making the save but leaves.

Taya Valkyrie brags about how awesome she is when Madison Rayne comes in to say she’s 2-0 against Taya and should get a title shot. Taya blows her off and tells Melissa Santos to come with her.


Flashback Moment of the Week: Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle get in a brawl.

Taya says she doesn’t have to defend her title for thirty days so next week, Madison’s match is non-title.

Konnan and LAX celebrate their title win and count money. They’re not worried about the North and then they get to go to the Rascalz’ clubhouse. For now though, training time.

Eddie Edwards vs. Fenix

Hang on though as Eddie doesn’t want to put Kenny down. We get a rather over the top handshake before they lock up, with Fenix taking him to the mat without much trouble. It’s back up to another standoff until Fenix sends him to the floor, meaning Eddie needs to bring Kenny in. With that taken away, Fenix hits a Pele kick and rolls forward, only to have to back away from another stick threat.

They go outside with Eddie hitting a chop against the barricade as Killer Kross is watching from the stage. Back in and now the rolling forearm connects for Fenix, setting up a crucifix bomb for two. Eddie gets two of his own off a powerbomb but stops to stare at Kross. Fenix uses the distraction to hit the rolling cutter but Eddie is right back with a tiger driver for two more. Kross offers Kenny to Eddie, but won’t let him take it. That means a superkick and the Black Fire Driver to give Fenix the pin at 8:03.

Rating: B-. Fun match (well duh) with some angle advancement as Fenix was his usual great self. What catches my attention here though is Eddie, who has gone from clean cut wrestler to this in the span of just a few months. I want to see what happens with him and how far he can take this, which seems to be a very long way given how talented he really is.

Tommy Dreamer offers his services to Rich Swann for next week. Scarlett Bordeaux, with smoke, comes in to offer Fallah Bahh as well.

Here’s an old looking Rob Van Dam to greet the “Impact Universe”. He knows the talent is great here so he isn’t going to list off all the classic matches he could have here so it’s time to show the difference between who you met on TV and the Whole F’N Show. This brings out Ethan Page with a couple of chairs, which he says must excite Van Dam. Tonight he’s going to show Van Dam a fresh way to use these chairs, by sitting down in one of them and offering Rob the other one.

Page doesn’t like the idea of Van Dam being a hero and the inspiration for everyone’s offense. Page: “Clearly you’ve never watched an Ethan Page match.” Van Dam: “Nope.” Rob gets the bucket list thing of being in the ring with him and is ready to fight right now. Page tells him to take some medicine and calm down so they can do this next week. The Van Daminator leaves Page laying.

Post break Josh Alexander yells at Page for not thinking about the North. Moose comes in and tells them to win the Tag Team Titles.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Tessa Blanchard with Gail talking about being glad to give Tessa that moment. The loss makes things feel complete.

Tully Blanchard congratulated Tessa on her win and talks about how proud he is of her. He knows Tessa and Gail respect each other, just like he respected the people who beat him up back in the day.

Preview for next week’s show.

Michael Elgin vs. Johnny Impact vs. Pentagon

For the #1 contendership. Pentagon goes straight for the rollup on Elgin and it’s already a standoff. Elgin gets sent to the floor and pulls Impact with him, allowing Pentagon to dropkick both of them through the ropes. Impact tries a springboard but gets pulled down into an apron bomb, leaving Pentagon to take a German suplex inside. Pentagon kicks him off the top though and goes up top, only to have to chop Elgin in the chest.

That has no effect so it’s Impact springboarding back in for the German superplex as Elgin superplexes Impact. Elgin plants Pentagon again and suplexes Impact onto him and it’s time to start wrecking things. Impact survives enough to kick Elgin off the top as well, setting up a spinning Razor’s Edge slam. Countdown to Impact misses (it’s going to hit one day and it’s going to be amazing) and Elgin hits three straight kicks to the face.

Now it’s Pentagon coming back in with a Pentagon Driver to Elgin and a powerbomb backbreaker for two on Impact. Elgin gets knocked to the floor and Impact….I’m not sure what he does actually but I think he kicked Pentagon by mistake instead of coming down onto Elgin. Some chair shots have Pentagon down but Elgin is fine enough to blast Impact with a clothesline. The Elgin Bomb is good for the pin and the title shot at 10:48.

Rating: C+. This was all about having Elgin win and that’s what matters most, especially with him pinning Impact. Pentagon can come back later on and get somewhere on his own, which is what probably should happen going forward. If nothing else, Impact can get back into the title scene just by being the former champion, though I hope we don’t get a triple threat title match out of this. They did things right here and Cage vs. Elgin could be great.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty strong show for the most part here with solid wrestling and storytelling, with some things moving forward between now and Slammiversary. If that’s the case in the future, Impact is doing a lot better than I expected. This was a rather nice show and I liked just about everything I saw, which is a pretty rare accomplishment in just about any wrestling company.

Results

Ace Austin b. Petey Williams – The Fold

Rosemary b. Kiera Hogan via DQ when Su Yung and the Undead Bridesmaids interfered

Fenix b. Eddie Edwards – Black Fire Driver

Michael Elgin b. Johnny Impact and Pentagon – Elgin Bomb to Impact

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 26, 2019: Why Can’t They All Be Go Home Shows?

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 26, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

It’s the go home show for Rebellion and that means we’re in for what could be a good six man tag with the two major feuds coming together. In this case that would be the Lucha Bros/Johnny Impact vs. Brian Cage/LAX, which could be rather entertaining. Other than that we’ll likely be getting a lot of highlight packages, where Impact has had some success before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap montage.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eli Drake for a chat, with a selfie stick to hold his microphone and Kenny the kendo stick. Eli talks about the old Eddie Edwards being dead. He asks Kenny and Mikey what they think of that but here’s Eddie for the brawl. Eddie throws the stick at Drake and hits a suicide dive as the fight heads to the back. I really hope that’s not the last we see of Drake over an intergender match at that horrible United We Stand show.

Video on Tessa Blanchard vs. Gail Kim.

Ace Austin vs. Aiden Prince

Prince starts fast and hurricanranas Ace to the floor for a suicide dive, followed by a heck of an Asai moonsault. Ace is fine enough for a handstand on the apron and a kick to the chest. The Space Flying Tiger Drop puts Prince down again as they’re starting fast. Back in and Ace misses a moonsault, allowing Prince to nail a Downward Spiral for two. The 450 is awkwardly countered into a triangle choke from Austin and it’s a playing card between the fingers for the paper cut. The Fold finishes Prince at 5:56.

Rating: C. Prince was your token Canadian for the tapings and did well for himself in the time he had. Austin continues to be someone with a bright future as he has everything you could need to be a star save for maybe the size. I still love the cards and magic stuff as you don’t see many people (if anyone) doing that kind of thing. Nice match too.

Post match Austin beats on Prince again until Petey Williams makes the save.

Jordynne Grace was working out earlier when Taya Valkyrie attacked her. Taya hit her with a dumbbell and DDTed her onto a weight for the knockout.

Rob Van Dam, looking nearly ancient, is looking forward to coming back to face some of the new talent.

The Rascalz literally bump into each other after being told to meat (yes meat) here. It turns out that Moose wrote the notes because he has an idea. The North comes in and the Rascalz get beaten down.

Video on Brian Cage vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title. That’s way too long of a feud for such little interest. The story has been acceptable and logical but it hasn’t been interesting and that’s a big flaw.

Rebellion rundown.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week: Rob Van Dam wins the World Title.

Scarlett Bordeaux promises us a live Smoke Show at Rebellion.

Rosemary vs. Undead Maid of Honor

Su Yung and the Bridesmaids distract Rosemary to start but she shrugs off the beatdown without much trouble. The bloody glove is slipped in but Rosemary hits the mist. A spear gives Rosemary the pin at 2:25.

Post match Rosemary chains up the Maid of Honor and leaves with her.

Rich Swann goes to the OVE Compound but Sami Callihan isn’t there. Swann sits at the door and says it’s true that Sami took him in but now they’re going to war. He was there when Sami’s mom died and they went to Germany together. We’ll find out how things go on Sunday. Swann leaves and Sami opens the door, having heard all of that.

A braggadocios Johnny Impact comes up to the Lucha Bros for tonight’s six man. The Bros don’t want to hear it because they’re the best team in the world. Johnny likes their confidence.

Killer Kross vs. The Mack

Mack armdrags him into an armbar but a run of the ropes lets Kross grab a front facelock. Back up and it’s time to throw fists with Mack getting the better of it until a running knee to the face cuts him off. A leg lariat gets Mack out of trouble so Kross clotheslines him right back down.

Something close to a Sling Blade gives Mack two but Kross pounds away even more. This time Mack Hulks Up and nails an exploder suplex. The reverse Cannonball connects but Mack’s standing moonsault is countered into the Krossjacket Choke to give put Mack away at 8:12.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t quite a squash for Kross and I really don’t get the point of doing that to Mack. It would seem that we’re coming up on a heel turn for either Swann or Mack, hopefully the former, and that would make this loss make even less sense. It’s not like Kross is anything more than the devil on the shoulder/Impact’s muscle at this point so he doesn’t really need to beat Mack here.

Long recap on LAX vs. the Lucha Bros, setting up Full Metal Mayhem on Sunday.

Deaners vs. Halal Beefcake

That would be Cody/Jake vs. Joe Coleman/Idris Abraham. Jake isn’t bothered by Abraham slapping him in the face to start so it’s off to Cody, who slams Jake onto Coleman for two. Beefcake puts Cody throat first onto the middle rope for a choke with their boots and pushups on the side. Jake comes in to clean house and it’s a Deaner DDT (set up like a Magic Killer but Cody throws Abraham into the air into a Hellevator) for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D. So the Deaners are officially a thing with no mention of Cody’s past in the company. To be fair though, that’s probably the best thing they can do. Halal Beefcake was more entertaining than the Deaners but after all the weeks of promos we’ve seen from them, odds are we’re going to be stuck with them for at least a few months.

Rebellion rundown.

Here are Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie for a chat before the main event. Johnny thinks the marks in the crowd are way too happy about having Lance Storm referee on Sunday. The two of them were trained by Storm and he was even a guest at their wedding. This brings out Storm, who hugs Taya and seems rather happy.

Storm says he taught the two of them to work and put something into this business. Johnny is worried about taking the Drill Claw and asks if integrity is more important than twelve years of friendship. That’s not cool with Storm, whose lone job is to give these people a champion they can be proud of. A fight breaks out and Storm superkicks Impact down.

Johnny Impact/Lucha Bros vs. Brian Cage/LAX

Mixing up the faces and heels is often interesting. It’s a brawl to start with Fenix hitting a rolling dropkick to put Ortiz down. The double splash hits Fenix though and it’s a double flapjack to take him down again. Fenix comes back with a kick to Santana’s face and Pentagon comes in to start cleaning house. Unfortunately that house includes Cage, who powers out of the Backstabber.

Pentagon knees him in the head instead and now Johnny is willing to come in with a slingshot spear. Ortiz tags himself in and it’s time for the parade of dives, including Cage moonsaulting onto everyone not named Fenix. That’s because Fenix is on top for the big dive and everyone is down enough for a replay montage. Back in and a triple superkick into a series of splashes take Cage down. The top rope double stomp What’s Up hits Santana and now it’s the strikes to Ortiz.

A 450 gets two on Ortiz with Cage making a save. Now it’s Pentagon getting triple teamed, capped off by Cage’s F5. Fenix gets planed with a super Flatliner so Impact comes in for more superkicks. Cage plants Johnny for two but Johnny Bravo pulls the referee out. Just because this hasn’t been insane enough, Fenix chairs Cage in the head but LAX takes the Bros out with chairs of their own. A baseball slide sends the ladder into LAX, only to have Cage hit Weapon X for the pin on Impact at 11:59.

Rating: B-. This was everything that you needed in a go home main event. It’s cool to mix up the faces and heels like this, even if the reasoning was based around champions vs. challengers. These matches should be good on Sunday, but they both need to do something fresh after the pay per view.

Overall Rating: B. Rather good go home show here with the six match card getting some good attention. Everything either got a video or a match to build things up and that’s a smart formula that has worked for years now. Just keep doing more of this and they should be fine. Now since every week can’t be a go home show, I don’t see that formula lasting very long. Otherwise though, good stuff.

Results

Ace Austin b. Aiden Prince – The Fold

Rosemary b. Undead Maid of Honor – Spear

Killer Kross b. The Mack – Krossjacket Choke

Deaners b. Halal Beefcake – Deaner DDT to Abraham

Brian Cage/LAX b. Johnny Impact/Lucha Bros – Weapon X to Impact

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 19, 2019: They Want Us To Pay For More?

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 19, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re down to two shows before the pay per view and again, it’s not the most interesting main event scene in the world. There are some good things going on but at the same time, the main event scene really isn’t inspiring. Hopefully the final two shows before Rebellion get better, but I’m not getting my hopes up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Johnny Impact vs. Brian Cage before we get to the title match at Rebellion, including Killer Kross and crooked referee Johnny Bravo joining Impact.

Opening sequence.

Fallah Bahh/Scarlett Bordeaux vs. Desi Hit Squad

Apparently KM is done with the company, though Bahh was the star of the team anyway. Bahh and Raju start things off with the big man easily taking over off a big shoulder. Raj Singh comes in for a kick to the ample gut so Bahh knocks him down and drops the big leg. It’s off to Scarlett so the Squad starts tagging in and out instead of having to fight her.

With that going nowhere, Bahh comes back in and fights both of them off. Singh gets in a spinebuster, which just seems to get on Bahh’s nerves. That’s fine with Singh, who hits a running dropkick to the side of the head. Bahh shoves him over for the tag (Callis: “The HOT tag if you know what I mean!”) and it’s Scarlett chopping Raju into a hurricanrana. Bahh DIVES onto the Squad and Scarlett adds one of her own and the fans are way, way into this.

Back in and Raju begs for a Stinkface and if you don’t know what’s coming here, you have no business watching wrestling. Scarlett can’t German suplex Raj but she can send him into Bahh for a belly to belly. A double Banzai Drop (with Scarlett on Bahh’s back) finishes Raj at 8:22.

Rating: D+. The best thing about Scarlett (ok one of the best things) is that she can work a match very well. She’s no mat general or anything but there’s a lot more to her than your traditional eye candy. That’s such a relief as otherwise, she would be a major step backwards for the women’s division. It’s fine to portray her as a bombshell because she can back it up, which makes all the difference in the world.

The Lucha Bros are ready for Eli Drake and Eddie Edwards but they haven’t forgotten about LAX.

The Deaners train for their Impact debut next week.

Eli doesn’t want to admit that Eddie was right but he’s happy with getting the Tag Team Title shot tonight.

The announcers recap last week’s main event and preview the rest of the night.

Tommy Dreamer is ready for Madman Fulton. They’ve both fought madmen before and tonight, Fulton is in for the fight of his life.

Moose vs. Dezmond Xavier

It’s the final Rascal vs. Moose, who throws Xavier off of a headlock. Some rights and lefts work a little better for Xavier but a right hand gets caught so Moose can wrench it around. An enziguri is shrugged off with Moose picking him up for a lawn dart into the corner. A catapult sends Xavier throat first into the middle rope and Moose, apparently bored, just stands on Xavier’s back.

Xavier manages to knock him outside but the dive is caught, allowing Moose to swing him head first into the steps. Moose powerbombs Xavier onto the other Rascalz but gets caught with an enziguri from Wentz. That’s enough for Xavier to grab a rollup for the surprise pin at 8:18.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what the point of this story has been, though at least the Rascalz didn’t get swept. It’s not like Moose should be having trouble with them, but maybe he shouldn’t have been destroying the team in the first place. There’s a good chance this isn’t over though, which isn’t likely to go well for the Rascalz.

Rosemary yells at Kiera Hogan for getting in over her head. Kiera says Allie is to blame for what happened to her but Rosemary doesn’t want to hear it. As long as there are two of them here, there will be two of them in the fight. That’s fine with Rosemary, who chokes Kiera out with a chain and says now it’s just one.

Moose is furious about losing and says two can play that game.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week: Gail Kim retains the Knockouts Title over Awesome Kong at some show.

Tessa Blanchard doesn’t want to hear about Gail, because at 23 years old she’s already better than Gail ever was. All Gail is known for is marrying a chef, who wouldn’t have married her if he knew who Gail really was. That’s why she’s at Robert Irvine’s (Gail’s celebrity chef husband) restaurant and looks for him, eventually realizing that the chef is in the kitchen.

Before that though, she re-dirties a dishwasher’s dishes and finds out that Robert isn’t here today. That earns the replacement chef some sauce to the head. The manager comes in and gets soup on the head. Tessa says that makes it personal. I’d think that makes it business/legal actually.

Post break Gail says she won’t be pressing charges because she’ll teach Tessa a lesson in the ring. Tessa is what Gail used to be so she knows what to do.

Madman Fulton vs. Tommy Dreamer

Sami Callihan is here with Fulton. Tommy is dumb enough to go straight at him and gets punched in the back for his efforts. A trip to the floor means Tommy needs to go after Sami, who gets ejected as a result. Back in and Fulton kicks him in the face, setting up a hard whip into the corner and a bearhug. Dreamer bites his way out and hammers away in the corner but has to hurricanrana his way out of a powerbomb. They head outside with Fulton missing a big boot and crotching himself on the post.

That just seems to wake Fulton up so he crotches Dreamer on the barricade to even things out. A suplex slam into a splash gets one and it’s off to a waistlock. The side slam gives Fulton two but he misses a middle rope headbutt (from the side to avoid landing on his head in a smart move). Dreamer gets in a kick to the leg and the DDT but it’s kendo stick time instead of covering. Since it’s not smart to scream as you charge with a kendo stick, it’s a swinging Downward Spiral to finish Dreamer at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Match of the night so far and that should tell you a lot. Having Fulton get his I Pinned Tommy Dreamer beginners’ badge is a good starting point, though just being a big monster is probably good enough. I could see going somewhere with Fulton as the muscle of OVE, which is turning into a nice stable.

Post match Fulton goes after Dreamer again, drawing in Willie Mack for the save. The Crists come in and take Mack down so Rich Swann makes another save, earning himself a beatdown from Callihan. Dreamer’s arm is Pillmanized and Callihan calls Swann his little brother as OVE stands tall.

Rob Van Dam is happy to be coming back.

The Deaners are STILL coming next week. These guys are going to overstay their welcome in a hurry.

Dreamer is going to a hospital to get his arm looked at. Swann and Mack are cool and Swann leaves. Killer Kross again comes in and asks why Mack has to make so many saves. Mack goes into a weird tangent about Moose being the annoying uncle who likes potato salad. Kross vs. Moose next week.

Madison Rayne vs. Taya Valkyrie

We get a sitdown interview with Johnny Impact at Johnny’s home. He doesn’t like Bravo being referred to as his errand boy and says he’s ready for Cage at Rebellion. What Cage doesn’t understand is that it doesn’t matter what people think. Impact can get to anyone in Cage’s life and that’s his downfall. Cage will never live up to his potential because he doesn’t get how this business work.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake vs. Lucha Bros

Drake and Edwards are challenging. Fenix kicks both challengers down to start and it’s Pentagon coming in as well for the early posing. It’s way too early for the spike Pentagon Driver though and it’s Drake making the save to calm things down. Fenix gets dragged to the challengers’ corner and the rolling cutter is countered into a torture rack/top rope knee drop combination.

Rating: B-. Is it any surprise that the Lucha Bros were the most entertaining things on the show? It was very fun while it lasted, even though they managed to get interference and three attempts at a single finisher, counting the actual finish. I’m glad they didn’t change the titles here, though at the same time I’m a little surprised that they didn’t. Just give us more Lucha Bros and everything will be fine.

Post match Eddie offers Drake condolences but gets laid out. A big beating with Kenny, including a shot to the head, ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. Can we please just get done with Rebellion already? It feels like they’re dragging their way to the show as I can barely find a reason to get interested in almost anything that’s coming up on the show. This wasn’t a bad show, but there’s nothing to get invested in and I don’t see that changing as we get closer to the pay per view. The show itself is likely going to work (they almost always do) but the TV is just there week to week. It’s nothing bad most of the time, but egads I can’t get interested in what they’re doing.

Results

Fallah Bahh/Scarlett Bordeaux b. Desi Hit Squad – Double Banzai Drop to Raju.

Dezmond Xavier b. Moose – Rollup

Madman Fulton b. Tommy Dreamer – Swinging Downward Spiral

Madison Rayne b. Taya Valkyrie – Rollup

Lucha Bros b. Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake – Spike Fear Factor to Drake

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 12, 2019: The One Two Combination Of Impact Troubles

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re about two weeks away from Rebellion and you can see most of the card from here. That’s a good sign as you should be able to know what you’re getting this close to the pay per view and it’s looking pretty solid on paper. The problem is they rarely get beyond solid and it would be nice to move forward for a change. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Moose vs. Zachary Wentz

Wentz goes for a wristlock to start and Moose throws him around for the easy escape. A lot bridge puts Moose on the floor for an apron superkick and Wentz is actually able to muscle him back in. That’s not a good idea as it’s a running corner dropkick to put him down again and Moose sends Wentz flying. The referee does at least yell at Moose before he chokes away on the ropes a bit more.

The other Rascalz can only watch as it’s an apron bomb to knock Wentz even sillier. Moose throws him back in but stops to pose, allowing Wentz to hit a dive. Back in and some running knees in the corner rock Moose, setting up a springboard crossbody for two. A high crossbody (minus the springboard) is countered into a gorilla press toss over the top onto the other Rascalz. The spear finishes Wentz at 8:36.

Rating: C. This mini feud has been far more entertaining than it should be, though I’m not sure where it goes. Does Moose just beat all three of them and then move on to something else? That’s not the best usage of a rather talented team, though maybe they can come up with something else before Moose runs through them all.

Rob Van Dam is back full time.

Rob is glad to be back and hopes his magnetic waist still has it.

Madison Rayne isn’t letting her loss to Jordynne Grace get to her because the goal is the Knockouts Title. Tessa Blanchard comes in to say that the glory days are over. Madison brings up beating Tessa twice and is fine with doing it a third time.

Rosemary vs. Su Yung

Yung has her usual army of bridesmaids with her. Rosemary charges straight at her and hammers away as she continues to blame Su for the loss of Allie. The upside down triangle choke over the ropes has Yung in more trouble but she gets out and starts in on the knee. A dragon screw legwhip sends Rosemary down and it’s time to bring out the bloody glove.

That takes too long though and a reverse DDT puts both of them down. A German suplex doesn’t work on Yung so Rosemary spears her, drawing the bridesmaids up to the apron. Cue Kiera Hogan to go after them but Rosemary doesn’t want to hear it. The Bridesmaids jump her for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: D+. This was more storyline based than anything else and that’s ok for the most part. It’s interesting that Yung is now being pushed at a stronger level than where she was when Allie was in her corner. The story can continue, though you could argue that it should have ended a long time ago.

Post match Hogan is forced to watch as Rosemary gets beaten down. Hogan gets a Panic Switch of her own.

Video on United We Stand. Tommy Dreamer thinks it feels like ECW. I know it’s not the same thing, but Impact surpassed the initial success of ECW a long time ago. That’s not the greatest compliment in the world. The wrestlers are fired up over making it such a success. I’d have to see a failure.

Ace Austin isn’t happy with Aiden Prince costing him the six way scramble last week and wants revenge.

GWN Flashback of the Week: Taylor Wilde vs. Angelina Love, I believe from No Surrender 2008.

Killer Kross talks to Willie Mack about….jazz music? Speaking of jazz, Rich Swann likes jazz and is playing Swann for a fool. Wouldn’t be shocking actually.

The Deaners are still coming.

North vs. Sheldon Jean/El Reverso

That would be Josh Alexander/Ethan Page. Alexander and Reverso start things off and it’s quickly off to Jean, who gets his arm cranked. Reverso comes back in and gets caught in an assisted spinning sitout DDT from Page. A spinning backbreaker keeps Reverso in trouble and a powerbomb backbreaker from Alexander makes it even worse. Reverso gets over for the tag to Sheldon, who comes in with a springboard clothesline. Alexander cuts him off at the knees though and it’s a series of strikes to Reverso’s head, setting up a reverse AA into a whip spinebuster for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: D+. The North (not a good name) looked nice enough together and some of their double teaming was rather impressive. That being said, they shouldn’t give up so much offense in their debut, let alone to two unknowns. I mean, his name is El Reverso. How much should he be getting in?

Gail Kim doesn’t want to hear Tessa talk.

The North is here to stay.

Madison Rayne vs. Tessa Blanchard

Gail is on commentary. Madison doesn’t like Tessa shoving her in the face to start so she gets in a kick to the ribs. A rope walk hurricanrana sends Tessa outside for a few seconds but she’s right back in for some dropkicks to the back. Tessa’s suplex makes it even worse and we hit the chinlock….as we look at Gail for the fourth time in less than three minutes. Madison gets caught in the corner for a Codebreaker and we take a break.

Back with Madison hitting some forearms and a dropkick as we look at Gail AGAIN. Tessa’s spinning full nelson faceplant gets two and a double slingshot suplex is good for the same. The frustration sets in as we look at Gail for the eighth time in about ten minutes. Tessa grabs a chair but Gail takes it away, allowing Madison to get a rollup pin at 13:57.

Rating: C. I knew the Gail Kim love would be strong and that’s what we got here with the ridiculous amount of cutting over to her. The story is good and has been well built up, but I’m scared that they’re going to give Gail the win instead of going with the move that makes sense. Madison was her usual self here, which is exactly the kind of thing they brought her back in to do.

Post match Tessa yells at commentary.

Eddie Edwards and Eli Drake ask the Lucha Bros for a Tag Team Title shot but LAX comes in for the double beatdown.

The Deaners are still coming.

Johnny Impact says someone as dumb as Brian Cage only comes around once every thousand years. Now he has a fan club in Jordynne Grace that he can do food prep with. Taya Valkyrie implies that Grace and Cage are sleeping together to get under Melissa Santos’ skin.

OVE calls Rich Swann a walking dumpster fire. Swann stabbed them in the back and at Rebellion, they’re taking the X-Division Title.

Tessa promises to make it personal with Gail.

Rob Van Dam is back soon.

Fallah Bahh can’t find KM so he goes into the women’s dressing room and finds Scarlett Bordeaux. She doesn’t mind and agrees to team with him next week.

Johnny Impact/Taya Valkyrie vs. Jordynne Grace/Brian Cage

Taya is willing to start with Cage but she gets run over by Grace to start instead. They trade whips into the corner with Grace hitting a Cannonball, sending Taya over for a tag. Johnny is good though and bails to the floor to avoid having to face Cage. We take a break and come back with Johnny backing off from Cage, who shrugs off a superkick.

The fall away slam sends Johnny down but the springboard corkscrew crossbody staggers Cage just a bit. One heck of a clothesline blasts Impact and a backdrop gets way more height than it should be able to. Johnny finally slides between the legs and dives over to Taya. A trip to Grace lets Taya take over with a Jeff Hardy legdrop between the legs for two. Taya cranks on the arm and a running hip attack keeps Grace in trouble. That just means a sitout powerbomb out of the corner to plant Taya and a roll into the corner allows the tag to Cage.

Rating: D+. It’s like they’ve run out of good ideas to keep this feud going so they’re going to the most basic booking tropes they can think of. The crooked referee isn’t one of my favorite stories and while it’s better than watching them have the same matches over and over, this feud needed to end about two months ago and it’s just going on and on.

Post match Cage gets beaten down so Impact and Taya can pose with the referee. Johnny kisses Taya to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not their best show here as they’ve spent way too long on a lot of these stories and need something fresh. Impact has always had issues with making their main event stories seem epic and knowing when to end a feud, both of which are on full display here. It’s not a bad show by any stretch but it didn’t make me want to see Rebellion, which I’m often forgetting about in general. Just get to something fresh and make it more interesting.

Results

Moose b. Zachary Wentz – Spear

Rosemary b. Su Yung via DQ when the Undead Bridesmaids interfered

The North b. Sheldon Gene/El Reverso – Assisted whip spinebuster to Reverso

Madison Rayne b. Tessa Blanchard – Rollup

Johnny Impact/Taya Valkyrie b. Brian Cage/Jordynne Grace – Knee to Cage’s head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – April 5, 2019: Their New Reality

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

So in the middle of all the insanity that is Wrestlemania weekend, we have this show in pursuit of anyone remembering that it’s actually taking place. That’s kind of a shame actually as things are pretty decent at the moment with Johnny Impact’s overdue heel turn already paying dividends. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap serves its lone function.

Opening sequence.

Petey Williams vs. Trey Miguel vs. Idris Abraham vs. Jake Crist vs. Aiden Prince vs. Ace Austin

Great. Williams is back. One fall to a finish so everything is insane to start with Austin being the last man standing, earning him a quadruple superkick until it’s Austin vs. Abraham alone in the ring. Williams replaces Abraham in a hurry with Petey grabbing a German suplex for two. Now it’s Prince taking Williams’ place and suplexing Austin for two. Abraham and his huge afro are back in with Trey spinning away from him. Crist is back in with a Death Valley Driver but Abraham drops him with a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Not to be outdone, Austin drops a frog splash for two on Abraham and drops Miguel with a swinging neckbreaker. Williams’ swinging Russian legsweep gets two on Miguel and the Sharpshooter goes on. That’s broken up so it’s O Canada to Crist in the corner. Austin puts Prince over Crist in the corner and it’s the Tower of Doom to bring everyone down. The Canadian Destroyer gives Petey two on Austin and it’s Prince flip diving onto Austin and Abraham on the floor. Back in and Williams hits a super Canadian Destroyer to finish Crist at 8:35.

Rating: C+. So you know every match with all of these people thrown into a match with everyone hitting their spots and moving on? This was the most recent one of them that I’ve seen. There’s nothing to separate them from the rest of their kind and Petey Williams is far from inspiring.

LAX and Konnan want to use Full Metal Mayhem to earn respect from the Lucha Bros.

Taya Valkyrie doesn’t care that she lost to Jordynne Grace last week. Madison Rayne comes in and says she wants a title match. Jordynne comes in and wants her rematch for the title but Taya makes a #1 contenders match for later tonight for the Rebellion title match.

Announcers’ preview.

OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack

Sami Callihan/Madman Fulton for OVE. Swann, now clean shaven, goes straight after Callihan to start and flips over him into the dropkick. Mack comes in, shrugs off a cheap shot from Fulton, and hits a 619 to Callihan’s ribs. Fulton’s second interference works a bit better and it’s Sami scoring with a clothesline to send us to a break. Back with Fulton suplex slamming Swann for two but Mack comes right back with a spinebuster.

A standing moonsault gets two but Fulton breaks up the hot tag attempt. The neck crank goes on for a bit until the break allows the hot tag off to Swann. Everything breaks down and Fulton is hurricanranaed to the floor, leaving Callihan to take a Lethal Injection. The Phoenix Splash misses and everyone but Mack heads outside, meaning it’s a big flip dive onto all three. Back in and Mack breaks up a Cactus Piledriver but gets slammed down by Fulton. The Cactus Piledriver finishes Swann at 14:01.

Rating: C+. This was mainly about making Fulton look like a monster and….they only kind of did that. Granted when you’re as big as Fulton, the monster thing is already included so it’s not the biggest deal in the world. This story has been going on for a long time now and I’d assume that Callihan gets the title soon. Like at Rebellion maybe.

Post match the beatdown is on until Tommy Dreamer makes the save with a chair.

Johnny Impact gets annoyed at being asked questions about Brian Cage and threatens to John Stossel Menendez. Killer Kross comes up and puts his arm around Menendez, saying he should get a title shot someday. Johnny looks worried.

Moose invades the Rascalz’ room and brings a female friend, with an invitation to bring a bunch of animals in as well.

GWN Classic Moment of the Week: Full Metal Mayhem at Bound For Glory 2011.

Rosemary goes to Allie’s grave and rants about Kiera Hogan and James Mitchell, plus her father Kevin Sullivan, all of whom are to blame. Then she disappears.

Jordynne Grace vs. Madison Rayne

The winner gets the Knockouts Title shot t at Rebellion. Grace throws her down with ease to start and then does it again even harder. Rayne’s middle rope crossbody bounces off of her so a rollup works a little better. An enziguri gives Rayne two but Grace Pounces her right back down.

Some knees to the back set up a not quite giant swing as Rayne’s back is in trouble. A backbreaker into a side slam keep Rayne down but the Vader Bomb misses. Rayne gets two off a high crossbody and she gets in a rear naked choke. That’s broken up as well and a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb gives Grace two. Grace has had it and the Grace Driver finishes Rayne at 8:48.

Rating: C. This is why Rayne was brought back in. She’s not the best in the world, but you’re going to get a good match from her and everything she does looks fine. Couple that with a resume and a pretty good promo and it’s easy to see the value in her. Put her in there with the newer talent and see what she can do for them.

Post match here’s Taya for a fight with Grace but Johnny comes out for a distract so Taya can beat her down. Johnny goes up for the Countdown To Impact but Cage makes the save.

Josh Alexander is coming and is presented like a psychopathic killer in amateur wrestling gear.

Josh recruits Ethan Page as his partner.

Rohit Raju vs. Fallah Bahh

Raju has both Singhs with him but there’s no KM. Bahh jumps over an early legsweep attempt and hits the spinning belly to belly. The charge hits post but Bahh is fine with a Samoan drop. There’s a running crossbody to set up the Banzai Drop but Singh knocks Bahh down, giving Raju the pin with feet on the ropes at 2:59.

Post match here’s Scarlett Bordeaux to slap Raju and it’s a double splash in the corner. Scarlett’s running hip attack (after pulling the dress up) lets her celebrate with Bahh.

The Deaners, a couple of rednecks, get Impact contracts.

Swann vs. Callihan for the X-Division Title is set for Rebellion.

Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame career and the current feud with Tessa Blanchard.

Tessa Blanchard says Gail was great in the era of bra and panties match. Now people like Gail and Madison are trying to relive their glory days. This is Tessa’s era and in this era, Gail isn’t a legend.

Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards vs. LAX

Before the match, Konnan gets in an argument with Drake and punches him, meaning it’s an early ejection. The fight is on and we do that really annoying thing of taking a break less than twenty seconds in. Back with Santana punching Eddie until a blind tag lets Drake come in and take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Ortiz and it’s back to Eddie for a headbutt, which might hurt him more given the thickness of that hair. Drake gets two off a neckbreaker but Ortiz is right back with a middle rope dropkick for a breather.

It’s back to Santana to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A tiger driver gives Eddie two on Santana with Ortiz making the save. That means a rolling cutter into a Codebreaker into a superkick into the double belly to back faceplant for two on Eddie with Drake making the save. The Street Sweeper is loaded up but here are the Lucha Bros for a distraction. That’s enough for Drake to get in a shot with Kenny, setting up the Boston Knee Party to finish Ortiz at 10:55.

Post match the Lucha Bros runs in and beat down LAX, with Santana being powerbombed through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Nothing was bad on here, though nothing was must see either. That’s not a bad place to be for a show like this with very little importance. Rebellion is looking like any Impact pay per view: a solid card up and down but nothing that I’m overly excited to see. I’ll take a good but not great card over nothing shows though so they’ve moved to a nice new reality.

Results

Petey Williams b. Trey Miguel, Idris Abraham, Jake Crist, Aiden Prince and Ace Austin – Super Canadian Destroyer to Crist

OVE b. Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Swann

Jordynne Grace b. Madison Rayne – Grace Driver

Fallah Bahh b. Rohit Raju – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake b. LAX – Boston Knee Party to Ortiz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – United We Stand – Maybe They Should Fall Apart Instead

IMG Credit: Fite.TV

United We Stand
Date: April 4, 2019
Location: Rahway Recreation Center, Rahway, New Jersey
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

It’s nice that Impact has finally realized that they should be running a show over Wrestlemania weekend. How that eluded them for so long isn’t clear but I think we can go with general reasons of “It’s Impact.” The main event here is Rob Van Dam(recently signed)/Sabu vs. the Lucha Bros in a match that isn’t likely to be as epic as the company expects. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Rob Van Dam showed up!

The opening video talks about how five companies (Impact, AAA, MLW, WrestlePro, MLW, Lucha Underground) are coming together for one show that shows what can happen when you unite.

Johnny Impact vs. Jake Crist vs. Dante Fox vs. Jack Evans vs. Pat Buck

Ultimate X (four structures with cables crossing over the ring and an X hanging in the middle) and the winner gets a future X-Division Title shot. Everyone goes to the floor to start with Johnny being smart enough to go straight for the X. Buck makes a save and handstands his way out of an RKO attempt, because Impact is known for his RKO’s. Austin comes back in and kicks Fox to the floor but gets pulled outside by Crist.

The camera misses a Crist dive and it’s Buck cutting Austin off and hiptossing him to the floor. Nearly everyone goes for a climb and the audio starts cutting in and out. Never change Impact. Fox pulls Impact off and Crist hits a superplex on Impact for a bonus. Buck gets pulled off and it’s a massive knockdown. Buck is up first but can’t get very far as the audio goes out again.

A Tower of Doom brings everyone down and Impact hits a spinning Razor’s Edge slam. Fox goes with a Coast to Coast instead of going up for the X and then hits an imploding moonsault. Austin one ups him with a dive OFF THE TOP OF THE STRUCTURE onto everyone for the huge knockdown. Back in and Buck spears Crist off the cables and Impact hits a Spanish Fly on Fox. Austin climbs up and hangs upside down, leaving Crist to hit a diving cutter. Impact uses the knockdown to pull down the X for the win at 13:01.

Rating: C+. It’s a bunch of people doing a bunch of dives and flips off a bunch of high structures. What else can you really expect here? Well perhaps not having the World Champion getting a title shot against the midcard champion? Impact vs. Swann should be a good match, though there might be better choices to pick from.

Moose yells at Eddie Edwards in the back and the audio is so bad that you can’t make out a word. Cage comes in and tells them to get on the same page. I’m sure you can figure out the story, but you should be able to hear the story as well.

Video on last year’s Impact vs. Lucha Underground show with varying levels of audio.

Team Impact vs. Team Lucha Underground

Impact: Brian Cage, Moose, Eddie Edwards

Lucha Underground: Drago, Daga, Marty the Moth Martinez, Aerostar

Impact is down 4-3 to start but there’s a replacement for….someone Impact isn’t exactly making clear. You know who the replacement is going to be. Who else could it be? OF COURSE IT’S TOMMY DREAMER BECAUSE IT’S ALWAYS TOMMY DREAMER!!! Eddie and Aerostar start things off with Aerostar snapping off a hurricanrana and Eddie rolling around into a standoff.

Marty and Tommy come in and it’s Martinez going to the ample gut. Drago comes in and snaps off most of a headscissors to Dreamer so it’s Cage coming in for a change of pace. Daga’s running headscissors just annoys Cage, who is right back with a backbreaker to take over. Moose and Cage get in an argument though and Daga takes over with some shots to Moose’s knees.

Cage comes back in to clear out most of the luchadors until Daga and Drago combine to kick him in the face. Everyone gets set outside for the dives and it’s Dreamer teasing a dive before going outside for more punching. He doesn’t dive because he’s old and fat you see. Dreamer spits water at them and we settle back down to Aerostar getting two off a cutter to Eddie.

Drago and Daga start taking turns on Eddie until he dropkicks Daga in the face. The tag brings Cage in and the power goes up in a hurry. Everything breaks down (you knew that was coming) and we go to the parade of secondary finishers. Cage loads up Daga for the F5 but Moose spears his partner, leaving Dreamer to cane Moose in the head. Marty’s double arm DDT finishes Dreamer at 10:22.

Rating: C-. Much like the opener, what are you expecting here? This was a bunch of people in one match, getting in as much stuff as they could at once. Dreamer taking the fall was a relief, but more than that I’m rather sad to see Lucha Underground being such an afterthought. The show is done and it’s sad that they’re trying to throw themselves out here like this with nothing to go on to next. At least they won though. That’s something right?

Taya Valkyrie is in a four way tonight but just like Johnny Impact, she’ll overcome the odds and win.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Katie Forbes vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Forbes dances and gyrates a lot with very big hair. Everyone goes after Rosemary, which is kind of a weird choice when Grace is right there. We go to the early exchange of rollups that have no chance of working and no one buys them as real near falls. Taya kicks at Katie in the corner and hits a running hip attack. Rosemary comes back in and shouts Taya down but Grace sends Rosemary shoulder first into the post.

A Vader Bomb gets two and a spinning Samoan drop plants Rosemary again. Forbes comes in with a bicycle kick for two on Grace but a collision puts all four down. Rosemary does her upside down triangle choke on Grace until Katie breaks it up. Grace’s missile dropkicks takes down Katie and Taya and it’s Grace slamming everyone in sight. Rosemary spears Taya but here’s Su Yung to draw Rosemary up the ramp. Forbes manages to fireman’s carry Grace for some squats but gets reversed into the Grace Driver. Not that it matters as Taya runs over and steals the pin to retain at 9:00.

Rating: D. They really missed here as there was no flow or structure to the match with a bunch of spots coming one after another. Taya stealing the win isn’t surprising as this isn’t going to be the kind of show where anything significant is going to happen. Not a good match and it really didn’t work, mainly due to trying to do too much.

Tessa Blanchard isn’t interested in what is between Joey Ryan’s legs.

Konnan is tired of disrespect from Low Ki and Ricky Martinez.

Low Ki/Ricky Martinez vs. LAX

Martinez kicks Ortiz in the head at the five minute mark but a northern lights suplex gives Ortiz two. An assisted sitout flapjack plants Martinez for two but it’s Ki coming in off a blind tag to take over. Martinez comes back in for the Madison Rayne face thrusts into the mat and it’s Ki cranking on the neck. Santana finally avoids a charge and it’s off to Ortiz as the pace picks up.

A middle rope dropkick sends Ki down as the camera keeps cutting so much that it’s hard to get a clear shot of some of these moves. Martinez gets caught in the corner for a superkick into a Tower of London but Ki dives off the top for the save. Ortiz gets caught in an electric chair with Ki adding a Disaster Kick for a near fall of their own. Santana posts Ki though and a Death Valley Driver finishes Martinez at 12:38.

Rating: C-. Ki and Martinez weren’t exactly on fire here and as great as LAX are, they can only do so much. It’s not like the match is terrible or anything close to it, but it’s also not something I ever got into. The lack of Salina really does lower the interest levels in Martinez and Ki, but it could have been a lot worse.

Sami Callihan is ready to show Jimmy Havoc what Ohio violence is all about.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Joey Ryan

Before the match, Joey does his lollipop and baby oil deals. Joey offers to let Tessa touch it but she flips him off instead. A waistlock doesn’t get Tessa anywhere as Joey tries to make her touch it. Hang on though as Joey shouts something….and I can barely hear it. Whatever Joey asked, he gets tossed across the ring by the chest hair instead. Magnum gives Tessa two but Joey sends her outside for a posting. The arm is banged up and Joey makes it worse by bending it around the barricade. Back in and the arm work continues as Ryan can do a standard enough match if he’s willing to try.

Tessa comes back with a hurricanrana to send him outside, setting up a suicide dive. Back in and Tessa gets two off a Cannonball but he’s right back with an arm trap suplex. The Fujiwara armbar goes on but Tessa is back up with a springboard tornado DDT. A German suplex, meaning Joey grabs her by the chest for a suplex, followed by Tessa grabbing his crotch for the flip, gets two. The lollipop from the trunks goes into Tessa’s mouth for the near fall out of the superkick but Tessa breaks up a superplex. Magnum finishes Ryan at 10:48.

Rating: D-. Nope. I don’t find it funny and it’s so out of place three days before a women’s match is going to main event Wrestlemania. Tessa winning is the only call they could make but Joey’s act is old and played out. He’s been doing that same stuff for a long time now and I roll my eyes every time I hear about it because I don’t find it entertaining. It didn’t fit here but he got it in anyway because….well what else was he going to do?

X-Division Title: Rich Swann vs. Flamita

Swann is defending and we get a handshake. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t work so Swann knocks him outside for the big flip dive. Back in and Swann’s stepover kick to the back of the head gets two and it’s time for the slow form stomping. Swann chops away in the corner but misses a charge and takes the 619 in the corner.

A missile dropkick sends Swann outside and it’s a Backstabber for two on the champ back inside. More kicks to Flamita’s head set up a missed Phoenix splash and Flamita grabs the Spanish Fly. A 450 gets two and Flamita is frustrated. He hammers away at the champ until a Lethal Injection cuts him off. Now the Phoenix splash retains the title at 7:46.

Rating: C. Quick yet entertaining match here and that’s about all you could have asked them to do. Both guys can do so much more but what else can you do given less than eight minutes? Swann has become one of the better talents around and you don’t really ever see him have bad matches. That’s a pretty good role to play and he does it very well.

Rob Van Dam and Sabu say (yes Sabu talks) that they’re Rob Van Dam and Sabu.

Jimmy Havoc vs. Sami Callihan

Monster’s Ball, meaning a street fight. They both bring weapons to the ring but Sami goes back to get some extras. You wouldn’t want to be unprepared. Jimmy pokes him in the eyes to start and it’s already time for a staple gun to Sami’s chest. Another staple to the crotch has Sami in trouble until he gets in a bell shot to the face. More weapons are thrown in and Jimmy is already bleeding.

The spit chop only hits the post but Sami’s hand is fine enough to run into….I have no idea actually as the camera missed it. Havoc stops for some water so Sami chairs him in the face and it’s time for a fight on the apron. Sami gets out of a piledriver and hits one of his own on the apron to really take over. Well as much as you’re going to take over in a hardcore match. Sami staples his way out of a sunset flip and then staples pieces of newspaper to different parts of Havoc.

Some frying pan shots to the head let Sami take a bow and we bust out the lemon juice into the open wound. Havoc gets caught in a trashcan and beaten with a chair but fights back anyway and manages to get the better of it. A paper cut to the mouth has Sami in trouble and it’s time to take off Sami’s shoes. That means another paper cut to the toes with actual salt being poured into the wound. A Death Valley Driver into the trashcan gets two and it’s time for the Legos. The Cactus Piledriver onto the Legos gives Sami one but another one onto some open chairs finishes Havoc at 13:51.

Rating: C-. Picture any hardcore match you’ve seen in recent years, though minute the barbed wire. I can only get so much into these things because there just isn’t much to the things. Both guys are best known for their violent stuff and when you see it so often, it kind of loses whatever impact it can have. As has been the case all night: it could have been worse, but it’s nothing that got my attention.

The announcers recap the show so far.

Rob Van Dam/Sabu vs. Lucha Bros

Non title and it’s anything goes. We start with CERO MIEDO vs. ROB VAN DAM so the fans deem it awesome before any contact is made. Sabu finally starts punching and we’re at a standoff after two minutes. They head outside and it makes a lot more sense to go with the brawling instead of making the mistake of trying to have a match. Sabu stumbles through the Arabian press and Rob hits the spinning legdrop for two.

Pentagon kicks them both down and Sabu gets kicked a second time to make it even worse. The wheelbarrow splash gets two on Rob and it’s already time for a table. Sabu gets in a DDT on Pentagon and the Bros are put on the table for the Five Star/top rope legdrop as they try to turn back the clock again. Fenix chairs Rob to the floor and it’s a double superkick into the spike Fear Factor for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting here? Van Dam and Sabu are both up there in years (Sabu is the older of the two at 54) and you’re not going to get much else out of them. Their one big spot looked good enough but this was all about the Lucha Bros doing what they could to cover up the rest of the match. It was fine for a nice little nostalgia moment, and thankfully that’s really all it’s going to be.

The lights go out as they shake hands and pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. Between the production issues (audio cutting out earlier in the night, theme music being so loud you could barely hear commentary and the music cutting off instead of fading out), the lack of anything significant happening, most of the matches not being very good and the incredibly dim lighting that made it look like they were in the dark most of the night, it came off like a pretty amateurish show, which isn’t a good sign for a promotion as big (and old) as Impact. Not a disaster, but more pedestrian stuff that isn’t going to draw anyone back in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – March 29, 2019 (Against All Odds): Impact Underground

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2019
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Las Vegas and on the way to the both United We Stand and Rebellion, meaning it’s hard to say what we’re going to be seeing in the next few weeks. I’m hoping we get something fresh in the main event again like last week, as a break from the seemingly never ending World Title story was a welcome change of pace. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap and preview, this time with narration for a change. Apparently this is a special called Against All Odds. Shouldn’t that be something a little better known?

Opening sequence.

Here are LAX and the Lucha Bros for an unsanctioned fight, meaning the Tag Team Titles aren’t on the lines. The fight is on in a hurry with a worried Konnan watching from ringside. Security is out in a hurry and the fans want to seem them fight. The Bros superkick security and manage to sneak up on LAX with a pair of chair shots. Now it’s table time but LAX gets up with a pair of spinebusters to put them through the tables instead. The champs are down and LAX pose with the titles to win this round. This almost has to set up Full Metal Mayhem, which is almost all there is left.

Post match LAX and Konnan are very happy.

The announcers tell us that there has indeed been a challenge for Full Metal Mayhem. That certainly makes sense. The usual preview ensues.

Glenn Gilbertti vs. Scarlett Bordeaux

This is Scarlett’s in-ring debut. Before the match, Glenn offers Scarlett a way out of this but that’s not happening. Scarlett goes for some early rollups for two and sends Glenn outside, leaving her alone for some rather seductive sitting. Back in and Glenn throws her down by the hair but misses an elbow. A Stunner to the elbow gives Scarlett a breather and a high crossbody gets two. Glenn has had it and clotheslines her head off for two. We get the Garvin Stomp as Callis is losing his mind at all of this.

Glenn stops to dance but misses a charge in the corner and gets forearmed in the face. A running hip attack sets up a dancing Stinkface, which thankfully is over in a hurry. Glenn’s Russian legsweep into the Village People’s Elbow gets two more and he goes for the ten punches in the corner. Glenn: “I’m going to give her the ten punches in the corner.” Technical term I believe. As you might guess, he takes too long though and gets powerbombed down for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: D. This was about what you would have expected, though I’ll give them points for having an actual match instead of some lame comedy segment with a fluke pin. Scarlett being a trained wrestler helps a lot as she can do something like this to go along with all of her more signature stuff. It wasn’t good by any means, but it did everything it needed to do.

Taya Valkyrie isn’t sweating Jordynne Grace. Johnny Impact is thinking about some low carb popcorn while Cage fights Killer Kross tonight.

Post break some fans laugh at Gilbertti.

GWN Flashback of the week: Lethal Consequences vs. Beer Money from Against All Odds 2009.

We recap Gail Kim attacking Tessa Blanchard, which has forced Gail to resign.

Tessa Blanchard is happy Gail is here to apologize because she has the company by the balls. Gail may be a legend but legends come and go. Diamonds are forever.

Madison Rayne is coming back. Good? I guess? She’s fine but this isn’t exactly a game changer.

The Lucha Bros are down for Full Metal Mayhem.

Here’s Tessa to gloat about Gail Kim’s forced apology and resignation. She talks about how it’s a night for justice so Gail needs to get out here right now. Here’s a sad Gail, with Tessa saying how bad it must be to have everything taken from you. Gail apologizes but Tessa wants to know what the apology is for. Even more defeated, Gail says she’s sorry for the attack that cost her the Knockouts Title.

Gail resigned earlier today so Tessa has an apology of her own. She’s sorry that Gail’s era is known for bra and panties matches while Tessa’s era is breaking barriers. Gail is ready to leave, but there’s one more thing: she’s out of retirement and coming for Tessa. The beatdown is on and a scared/angry Tessa bails. They’ve set this up very slowly and logically….but egads I never need to see Gail around here again.

We recap last week’s main event with Rich Swann retaining the X-Division Title over Sami Callihan but being attacked by the newest OVE member, Madman Fulton.

OVE….I guess you would say mentally initiates Fulton by breaking him down and getting him to think like Sami.

Knockouts Title: Taya Valkyrie vs. Jordynne Grace

Grace is challenging. The fans are behind Grace as she busts out a cartwheel into a crucifix to start. Taya gets up a knee in the corner for a breather but walks into a hard shoulder for two. More strikes have Jordynne in trouble so she snaps off a German suplex to drop Taya on her head. They fight outside with Grace going head first into the post, followed a running knee in the corner for two. Taya chokes in the corner but stops to pose again, asking if the fans are entertained. A good spear gets one more on Grace and we take a break.

Back with Grace snapping off a suplex and avoiding a charge to send Taya into the post. That means a Vader Bomb for two but the Johnny Impact slide between the legs gets Taya out of trouble again. The moonsault misses but Taya is fine enough to block the Grace Driver (that needs a better name). Taya comes up holding her ribs though and here’s Impact to help her out for the countout at 12:45.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much here but the important thing was having Grace beat her up long enough to warrant a rematch, which they certainly did. It’s not a bad match at all and having the rematch set up is perfectly fine. The Knockouts division is really pretty diverse at the moment and they’re running several stories at the same time, which is a lot harder than it sounds. Well done indeed and hopefully they keep it up.

Post match Cage comes out before Impact and Taya can escape. Killer Kross comes out to choke and post Cage as we take a break.

Brian Cage vs. Killer Kross

Joined in progress with Cage hitting a hard clothesline to get himself out of trouble but Kross posts him again. A hammerlock slam stays on Cage’s arm and a DDT on the arm makes it even worse. Cage has to block a cross armbreaker and sends Kross to the apron for the apron superplex, which is quickly countered into an arm crank over the shoulder. Back in and we hit another armbar as it’s almost all Kross so far.

Another armbreaker is blocked with a rope break and Cage manages to send him outside as we take a quick break. We come back with Kross grabbing the Krossjacket choke but getting rammed into the corner. Cage’s powerslam gets two but he can’t manage a suplex. The Doomsday Saito gets one on Cage and he’s fine enough for a powerbomb backbreaker for two of his own.

There’s an F5 for two with Impact sneaking back in to put the foot on the ropes. Taya gets in a low blow and it’s another Doomsday Saito for….three at 15:32? I’m confused because Cage kicked out and Kross looked stunned but the referee called for the bell anyway. That sounds like a twist and maybe Johnny has a cheating referee.

Rating: C+. This was more about the angle than the match and they did that well enough. It’s smart to have some kind of screwiness at the end to cost Cage the win before his title match, which isn’t something that companies (and by that I mean WWE) tend to always get right. Kross looked dominant, though having him as Impact’s muscle still isn’t the greatest story in the world.

Post match Impact Pillmanizes Cage’s arm and kisses Taya.

The fight is on and Allie gets the better of Rosemary but can’t bring herself to actually stab her. Rosemary fights back and goes to stab Su but Mitchell has a clever to Kiera’s throat. The master comes in and it’s Kevin Sullivan of all people (makes sense really) to say Rosemary knows how this is going to end. All of this is for nothing because it’s never ending.

Su pops up with her Freddie Kruger razor glove but Allie shoves Rosemary out of the way and gets STABBED THROUGH THE THROAT, complete with blood. Kiera shoves Mitchell away (which I guess she could just do) and goes to hold Allie with Rosemary. Allie morphs back into her old self and says it’s ok and vanishes, leaving a furious Rosemary to end the show.

This was out of the Broken Hardys playbook and I liked it. Thank goodness they just got rid of Allie (while leaving a slight door open for her return) and gave us some closure to the story instead of something lame like her just leaving. The story has been over the top so far so keep it that way until the ending. I get why you might not like this one but if you’re into some off the regular path stuff, it worked.

Overall Rating: C. You could say this one was all over the place with storyline advancement, man vs. woman in something that wasn’t as comedy based as you would have thought and MURDER. That being said, this show blew by with nothing being overly bad and two major matches being set up for Rebellion. The best thing here was having enough variety that it wasn’t boring, which is a good sign. Now if only Rebellion can be awesome, they’ll be in an even better place. This show was good enough with nothing but, though nothing was really high quality. Call it a mixed bag, but certainly not a boring one.

Results

Scarlett Bordeaux b. Glenn Gilbertti – Powerbomb

Jordynne Grace b. Taya Valkyrie via countout

Killer Kross b. Brian Cage – Doomsday Saito

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – March 8, 2019: Keep Moving Forward

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2019
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

I’m not sure what to expect this week as we have the latest round in the main event four way feud, which hasn’t been great so far but last week offered a bit of a twist with Johnny Impact injuring his neck. Other than that we have the in-ring debut of Scarlett Bordeaux, which screams screwy angle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Preview/recap.

Opening sequence.

Rich Swann vs. Ethan Page

Non-title. Swann starts with his flip over Page and scores with a dropkick, only to get punched into the ropes. A reverse implant DDT gets two and a backbreaker makes things even worse for Swann. Page stops to pose again but it doesn’t seem to matter as he’s fine enough to stomp away in the corner.

A running flip neckbreaker gets Swann out of trouble and sets up the running flip dive to the floor. Swann’s frog splash (heck of a good one too) gets two but he gets crotched on top, setting up a Snowplow for two. They trade forearms, punches and kicks to the face until Swann hits a long string of them, setting up a Lethal Injection. The middle rope Phoenix splash finishes Page at 8:01.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of opener I can get behind. They didn’t stay out there too long but had enough time to put on an entertaining match with both guys getting to show off. Swann is becoming a bigger and bigger star around here and Page has put on consistently good matches for weeks now.

Post match here’s OVE to address Swann again. This is the night that Swann finally joins OVE because Swann has said that Sami Callihan is family. Swann puts on the shirt and the team poses, leaving Swann to lay the three of them out and bail in a scene that worked for Diamond Dallas Page in 1997 and works for Swann here.

LAX asks Konnan to get their rematch for the Tag Team Titles. Konnan says let him do his job and watch the Lucha Bros vs. the Rascalz.

The announcers recap last week’s injuries to Brian Cage and Johnny Impact.

The annoying interviewer tried to talk to Cage and got thrown out.

Ace Austin vs. Jake Atlas

Austin loves cards and maybe some slight of hand magic. Atlas’ wristlock doesn’t work to start and it’s Austin rolling forward with a legsweep and kick to the back. A bicycle kick gives Atlas one and Austin is right back with a double springboard kick to the face. Something like Murphy’s Law takes Austin down for two but he stomps Atlas down and hits a running Blockbuster (the Fold) for the pin at 3:29.

Rating: C-. Atlas got in a lot of offense here but Austin has the charisma and style to make him look like a star. I’ve seen him before and he’s got everything he needs to be a big deal. As usual it depends on how Impact handles him, which has been a hit or miss set of results over the years.

Johnny Impact, in a neck brace, and Taya Valkyrie join us via satellite for an interview with the annoying reporter (this guy has to be a rib on someone). Cage is getting his title shot no matter how bad Johnny’s neck is.

Reno Scum wants a rematch with KM and Fallah Bahh.

Here’s Alisha Edwards for a chat. Her contract expires at the end of this month and she has some decisions to make. She enjoys hitting people with kendo sticks but maybe it’s time to start a family. Cue the Desi Hit Squad with Rohit Raju saying it’s time for a woman to make some sense. Having a family is her job and women need to stay out of the ring. Alisha slaps Gama Singh and here’s Eddie Edwards to clean house with Kenny. The Squad beats him down but Eli Drake makes a rather slow save.

Cage isn’t happy with the reporter, who shows him a clip of something that gets on Cage’s nerves even worse.

Eddie thanks Eli but isn’t interested in going after the Tag Team Titles. Alisha says Eli is all Eddie has left so take what you can get. Eddie agrees to team up against the Desi Hit Squad next week. The one thing I get out of this: Alisha shouldn’t be talking.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week: Jeremiah Snake (Sami Callihan) vs. Eddie Edwards from last year’s Impact vs. Lucha Underground show.

Moose and Killer Kross are happy with injuring Impact and Cage. They should both get title shots and if they don’t get them, it means more pain.

The Rascalz talk about getting superpowers from a robot. They talk about wearing masks and mock Moose’s pink sports coat.

Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor/Allie vs. Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Kiera Hogan

This is the Dark War (meaning it’s fought under a red light) for Allie’s soul and I’d assume anything goes here. James Mitchell is at ringside to make things all the more evil. It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to tagging, because that’s what you do in a War. Kiera throws Yung around to start and we get the Allie vs. Rosemary showdown. At least I think we do as I can barely see what’s going on here.

Grace comes in for a heck of a release German suplex on Allie to give Kiera two but Yung offers a distraction. That’s enough for Allie to snap off a cutter and we take a break. Back with Allie clotheslining Kiera down for two, followed by the slow stomping in the corner. Su grabs an armtrap choke on Kiera but it’s back to Allie, who gets kicked in the head. The hot tag brings in Rosemary for the big showdown and everything breaks down. Rosemary drops Allie and it’s the parade of secondary finishers. Yung mists the Maid by mistake and a spear gives Rosemary the pin on Yung at 11:54.

Rating: D+. This was a run of the mill six woman tag, which isn’t what you expect from a match billed as the Dark War. I was having more problems telling who was who in the whole thing and that made for a pretty disappointing story. To be fair though, that was the case with the entire story as Allie going evil was a complete disappointment from almost every side.

Post match Rosemary puts Allie on a leash and drags her away, launching a thousand fanfics in the process.

Glenn Gilbertti is still trying to figure out what he’s doing and Konnan sends him to yell at Don Callis. A fight is teased but it’s Killer Kross instead. The lights go out and screaming ensues.

Back from a break with Gilbertti hearing Vince Russo’s voices and looking for Callis. He thinks he finds Cody and the Young Bucks but is mistaken again. Scott D’Amore says Callis is on commentary because that’s his job. Gilbertti is NOT wanted for commentary but comes to the desk anyway.

Josh Matthews brings out Scarlett Bordeaux for her first match, though I’m not sure if the full body suit and heels are the best attire. The talent search made sense because those people were all falling over themselves so they weren’t going to be a success in the ring. Gilbertti was the biggest disaster though, which draws him into the ring for some yelling. Gilbertti: “You know what’s going to happen if you wrestle. You’re going to suck.” She slaps him in the face and a challenge is thrown out. Gilbertti tells her to spend a week cooking, but Scarlett promises to make him her b**** next week.

Rosemary tells Kiera and Jordynne to leave because she’ll take care of Allie from here. Kiera isn’t happy but Jordynne says she’s good now.

Tessa Blanchard is in a #1 contenders match next week and is willing to beat Grace if she has to. It’s all just punishment for taking out Gail Kim.

Rascalz vs. Lucha Bros

Non-title with Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz for the Rascalz. Xavier and Fenix start things off and they circle each other for the first minute. A kick to the ribs has Fenix in some short lived trouble but the Bros start firing off the kicks, including a superkick to Wentz on the floor. Back in and the Codebreaker/top rope double stomp to the back combination sets up the wheelbarrow splash for two on Xavier.

Some right hands and elbows get Xavier out of trouble long enough for a tag off to Wentz and a handspring knee to the head hits Pentagon. Back up and Pentagon kicks Wentz’s leg out on the ropes but Xavier is right there with the big flip dive (launched by Wentz to make it even better) onto both Bros. Wentz’s Swanton into the Final Flash from Xavier gets two on Pentagon, leaving Fenix and Xavier to slug it out again. Pentagon is back up though and it’s a superkick into the Pentagon Driver to finish Wentz at 7:48.

Rating: B-. I could have gone for more of this and that’s a good way to end a show. The big thing here was the Rascalz hanging with the champs and looking good in a match they weren’t going to win. The Lucha Bros are going to have another match with LAX and then Rob Van Dam and Sabu (because reasons) so there wasn’t any doubt here. It was still fun while it lasted though as the Rascalz have become some of my favorites around here in a hurry.

The Bros go to the back where they run into Konnan. They ask him (in Spanish with subtitles and then English because wrestling reasons) to tell LAX not to mess with their masks because that’s not what men do. Konnan tries to calm things down and says LAX wants a rematch. That’s not happening because it’s too soon (fair) but Konnan says he’s not asking. Next time he sees the champs, they better have a date.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a good show overall with some nice wrestling including a strong main event, but there was no way around that Dark War being such a terrible result. You call it a war and don’t even have it hardcore? The storytelling worked well in spots and that’s where Impact does best. Nice show here as they keep moving forward in the right direction.

Results

Rich Swann b. Ethan Page – Phoenix splash

Ace Austin b. Jake Atlas – The Fold

Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Kiera Hogan b. Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor/Allie – Spear to Yung

Lucha Bros b. Rascalz – Pentagon Driver to Wentz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – March 1, 2019: The Setup Show

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2019
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

The Las Vegas swing continues as we continue to build towards Rebellion. The big story coming out of last week was LAX seemingly turning heel by attacking and unmasking the Lucha Bros, though LAX was provoked. Other than that it’s the same World Title scene we’ve had for months now as Brian Cage is chasing the title with Moose and Killer Kross running around too. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Standard opening recap, meaning it’s well done.

Opening sequence.

Willie Mack vs. Jake Crist

Dave Crist is in Jake’s corner. Mack isn’t wasting time and Thesz presses Jake for some right hands. A swinging slam gets two as the fans are behind Chocolate Thunder. Jake sends him outside for a suicide dive, a flip dive and a diving tornado DDT for a good looking trio. Back in and Jake’s high crossbody is countered into a Samoan drop with a standing moonsault getting two. The Codebreaker connects but Dave shoves Mack off the top for the DQ at 3:23.

Rating: C. It was exciting while it lasted but you can only get so much out of a three minute match that existed to set up an angle. There’s something so engaging about Mack and that was on display here. The Crists are both very talented as well and they got to show it off in the limited ring time here.

Post match Tommy Dreamer (egads) comes out, saying he’s spent thirty years trying to write the wrongs of pro wrestling (Fan: “THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL WRESTLING?”). The match is on after the break.

Tommy Dreamer/Willie Mack vs. Crist Brothers

Tommy goes straight to the food from the crowd as we head inside for the opening bell. Some double elbows and a jumping legdrop get two on Jake and it’s time to start in on the arm. A blind tag lets Dave come in and it’s a top rope backsplash to Dreamer’s eternally injured back. The chinlock lasts even shorter than usual so Dreamer fails at a sunset flip attempt to keep himself in trouble.

An enziguri gives Jake two and it’s off to another quickly broken chinlock. With the holds not working, Jake goes up and gets superplexed right back down. Mack comes in to pick up the pace and the Stunner sends Jake outside. That leaves Dave to take a Death Valley Driver into the frog splash from Mack for the pin at 6:46.

Rating: D+. Dreamer comes in, does his Dreamer thing, and leaves. I’m glad Mack got a win, though you would think there would be a better choice to pair him with than Dreamer. At least he didn’t pin one of the Crists, even if he’s someone who doesn’t exactly offer much in terms of value, mainly due to him always being around in so many promotions.

Johnny Impact doesn’t like the implication that he’s handing out title matches as favors. The only reason Brian cage hasn’t gotten a title shot is the interference from Killer Kross and Moose. Just get rid of them and the title match is there.

KM/Fallah Bahh vs. Reno Scum

I didn’t get Scum back then and I don’t get them now. Adam Thornstone tries to slam Bahh for some reason and the pain is on in a hurry. KM comes in for some elbows in the corner but gets taken into the other corner so the beating can begin. A standing legdrop gets KM out of trouble and it’s back to Bahh for a running crossbody. Back to back rolls crush Luster and it’s a Rocket Launcher into a Samoan drop to finish Thornstone at 4:36.

Rating: D. Yeah I still don’t get them. Scum are two guys with an uninteresting look who don’t do anything in the ring that sets them apart. I’m not a fan of KM and Bahh either but they’re certainly better than what Scum was doing. They’re not a good team and I’m not sure why Impact brought them back in.

Post match Scum beats them up to try and get some heat.

Glenn Gilbertti annoys Ethan Page and runs into producer D’Lo Brown. He finally gets into the creative office and thinks we should have an X-Division tournament. The unseen creative laughs at him instead and sends him off for coffee. Gilbertti: “I’ve booked with Vince before!” Voice: “Wrong Vince!” I get the joke and laughter isn’t coming.

KM and Bahh want revenge.

United We Stand rundown.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week: LAX defends the Tag Team Titles against Killshot/The Mack at Impact vs. Lucha Underground from last April.

Eli Drake congratulates Eddie Edwards on his win but says he won too. It was Eli drawing out the old Eddie last week and Eddie got a win. They can win the Tag Team Titles together but Eddie is fine with Kenny as his partner.

Scarlett Bordeaux’s in-ring debut is next week.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Delilah Doom

Fallout from Tessa attacking Delilah last week. It’s a fight to start with Doom hammering away and hurricanranaing her down. A top rope armdrag does it again but Tessa counters another hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb. Tessa’s Saito suplex gets a delayed two as she’s not exactly intimidated here. A running elbow to the back misses though and Doom scores with a 619. Doom gets two off a crucifix bomb but Tessa powers her up and gets the Buzzsaw DDT for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. This was a nicely done story with Tessa breaking a bit of a sweat against the newcomer, who got to show off a little bit here. There wasn’t much of a doubt here but at least they tried to make you believe that Doom could pull off the upset. Tessa is gearing up for her big showdown with Gail Kim though, which may or may not be the best idea.

Tessa says she’s getting her rematch for the title or else.

Cage says he can team with Impact if the World Title is the prize.

Rosemary is excited about the challenge for the war and tells Kiera Hogan to stay out of it. Kiera isn’t happy with that suggestion so Rosemary agrees to let her fight. But once Allie is back, they’re done.

Ethan Page vs. Zachary Wentz

Wentz flips out of a very early wristlock and Page isn’t sure what to do with this kind of speed. A handspring elbow is countered into something close to an F5 and a tilt-a-whirl faceplant gives Page two. The chinlock goes on so Wentz comes back with an enziguri into a shooting star for two of his own. Wentz’s dive is countered into a butterfly backbreaker of all things but Page stops to yell at the NFL alumni and gets in a shoving match with one of them. With Page distracted, Wentz hits a big springboard dive, followed by a springboard cutter for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C. Match of the night so far though that’s not saying much. Wentz and the rest of the Rascalz are a fun team to watch and can have entertaining matches with anyone. Page isn’t bad either as I’m digging his stuff more often than not and this was no exception. Doing something with the NFL people is fine for a short story and I can’t imagine it’s going to be more than that.

Gilbertti talks to Dreamer and says he was hired as the new suckup. They find the Anthem owl and Dreamer throws him into a room with the thing. Gilbertti comes out and spits feathers.

Ace Austin is coming next week.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Sami Callihan, who were friends back in the day but now Swann wants nothing to do with him, including joining OVE. That’s not cool with Sami, who wants to be paid back by corrupting Swann like he does to everyone else.

Moose and Kross agree to work together. How many times have we heard something like this? Moose: “Tick friggin tock.”

LAX says they treated the Lucha Bros like they would treat anyone else that disrespects them. Konnan freaks out and says that’s not what he wanted so next week he’ll handle things. LAX better not screw it up.

Preview of next week’s show.

Moose/Killer Kross vs. Johnny Impact/Brian Cage

Kross and Cage slug it out to start with Cage picking him up for a backbreaker. Impact slingshots in with a legdrop and punches Kross into a corner for the tag off to Moose. That goes badly for Moose as well as he gets sent into the corner for some running elbows. A superkick into a gutwrench suplex sends Kross flying and we take a break.

Back with Moose’s rake of the eyes allowing the tag to Kross, who gets kicked in the face. The apron superplex sets up Impact’s breakdancing legdrop but Johnny stays on the mat, holding his neck. He’s fine enough to crawl over to Cage for the tag and it’s a spinebuster to plant Kross. Cage fights away but gets kicked out to the floor and here are the referees to check on Impact.

It’s enough of a distraction for Kross to hit Cage with the belt to bust him open. Back in and Moose hammers on the cut before dropping the backsplash for no cover. The bloody Cage gets pulled back to the corner as Johnny is checked on the floor. Cage and Moose trade clotheslines and Cage manages an F5 to Kross. Cue Taya Valkyrie to check on her husband as the Krossjacket Choke with a spear are enough to knock Cage out at 14:50.

Rating: C+. Again more storytelling than wrestling here, but the problem is how late they’ve waited to get to something interesting in the story. This feels like an Impact heel turn as Cage trusted him when he shouldn’t have and it allows Impact to avoid facing Cage again. Not a bad match at all though and it advanced the story, which was the point.

Impact is carried out and Cage is unconscious to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This ranged from pretty lame to fine and that’s about what I’ve grown to expect from the regular shows around here. Some of the stories are moderately interesting but there’s not enough to make me want to see the show week to week. I would say there’s been more good than bad though and the big bad hasn’t been there, so at least things are stable instead of all over the place. In this case, that’s a great relief.

Results

Willie Mack b. Jake Crist via DQ when Dave Crist interfered

Tommy Dreamer/Willie Mack b. Crist Brothers – Frog splash to Dave

KM/Fallah Bahh b. Reno Scum – Rocket Launcher into a Samoan drop to Thornstone

Tessa Blanchard b. Delilah Doom – Buzzsaw DDT

Zachary Wentz b. Ethan Page – Springboard cutter

Killer Kross/Moose b. Johnny Impact/Brian Cage – Krossjacket Choke to Cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6