Forgotten Cell Matches
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

This is another idea where the name says it all, which makes for an interesting situation. In this case we have the most violent match WWE has to offer but you never know which version of things you’ll be getting. I’m curious about this set as there have been so many of these things over the years that it is easy to forget some of them. Let’s get to it.

From Monday Night Raw, June 15, 1998.

Steve Austin/Undertaker vs. Mankind/Kane

Paul Bearer is here with the villains and wants Austin and Undertaker out here right now. Mankind even goes into a rhyming poem about the violence of the Cell (with the mesh ripping up your flesh) to help get them come to the ring. Austin comes out but Undertaker doesn’t show up, which seems like a ruse. Mankind goes after Austin on the floor but gets the door slammed onto him.

Kane goes after Austin and Bearer locks himself in the Cell (uh oh) as Kane gets an ugly backdrop on the ramp. And indeed the Undertaker pops up through the ring and kicks Bearer in the face as the beating is on. Kane climbs the Cell as Austin comes back to beat up Mankind.

Bearer gets sent into the cage and is busted open, with Undertaker kicking at the head as Mankind is sent into the Cell wall. Austin knocks Mankind down with a chair and goes up top to beat up Kane as the show ends. If there was an opening bell, I never heard it, but this was just a big angle anyway, with Austin never even getting inside the Cell.

From Monday Night Raw, August 24, 1998.

Mankind vs. Kane

Mankind starts throwing chairs at the roof of the Cell but they fall back onto him. Instead he climbs up but gets pulled down by Undertaker (at ringside), sending him through the table (JR: “IT HAPPENED AGAIN!”). Kane beats Mankind around ringside and slams the Cell door on his head as they both finally get inside. The door is locked and we’ll say the match officially starts.

Kane beats on him with the steps before hitting a big dive over the top for the crash. Mankind avoids the steps being tossed and chairs Kane in the head before pouring out the bag of tacks. That takes too long (of course) and Kane kicks him into the tacks, only for Mankind to come back with the Mandible Claw. The Cactus piledriver puts Kane down but he’s back up with a nasty chair shot to knock him off the top.

The chokeslam and Tombstone knock Mankind silly and Undertaker gives Kane the throat slit. Three straight chair shots to the head set up another Tombstone onto the chair but Austin comes out from under the ring to jump Kane for the….I’m thinking DQ but we’ll say no contest at 4:28.

Rating: D. Yeah that’s what Russo thought the Cell should be: nothing more than a way to build up a PPV match between Undertaker and Austin was to have the Tag Team Champions (yes Kane and Mankind were a team here) fight in the Cell. The match wasn’t even the main event of the show, as there were two more matches to go, plus part of the Brawl For All. I would say I get the idea, but I really don’t, as it’s that stupid in so many ways.

Post match Austin unloads on Kane with the chair and a Stunner as Undertaker is on top of the Cell trying to get inside. The Cell is raised (with Undertaker still on it) and Austin gives Kane another Stunner.

From Monday Night Raw, September 26, 2011 (post show dark match).

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cena is defending and this is a match thrown together after a big beatdown of Cena and Punk ended the show. Ziggler (short hair version) and Swagger choke Punk in the corner as Del Rio beats on Cena in another corner. Swagger and Del Rio change places but Cena fights back and gets in a bulldog. Del Rio cuts Cena off again and Cena hits a Vader Bomb for two with Punk making the save (this is basically a five way match in name only as it’s basically a handicap tag).

Cena is back up with the finishing sequence to Del Rio as everyone else fights on the floor. As usual the AA doesn’t work so Punk gives Del Rio a GTS. That earns him a Zig Zag before Swagger ankle locks Ziggler. An AA to Swagger retains at 5:09. Punk’s “oh well” look as his eyes go back and forth boosts things up a lot.

Rating: C. To be fair, it’s a dark match so you can only get so mad at something like this. The point here wasn’t to blow the roof off the place or anything close, but rather just have a fun match to wrap up the night. That’s all they did and it went fairly well, though it really did just feel like a tag match for the most part.

From the June 18, 2021 Smackdown.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio

Reigns (who recently attacked Mysterio’s son Dominik) is defending and has to take a chair away from a swinging Mysterio to start. A fire extinguisher to the head (spray and canister) work a bit better for Mysterio, as does a running shot with a toolbox. We take a break and come back with Mysterio striking away with a chair.

Said chair is wrapped around Reigns’ throat and sent into various things and a quick Reigns spear only hits (and breaks) table. A sunset bomb is blocked though and Reigns sends Mysterio into the Cell over and over. We take another break and come back again with a spear being countered via a dropkick.

Another spear attempt only hits post and Mysterio gets in the 619. Now the chair shots can work a bit better and Mysterio splashes the chair onto Reigns in a less than brilliant move. A chairless frog splash can connect for two so Mysterio tries the seated senton, only to get LAUNCHED into the Cell with a toss powerbomb. The cravate choke makes Mysterio tap at 17:13.

Rating: B. Believe it or not, Mysterio knows how to fight a power guy in a match where he can use weapons to even things up. This is what Mysterio has done for so much of his career and it still worked here. While Mysterio winning was a long shot, he’s enough of a legend that it just kind of barely feels possible and that’s more than enough. Not a great match, but for free TV, I’ll definitely take it.

From the June 21, 2021 Monday Night Raw (yes, the second time in four days).

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Xavier Woods

Lashley, with MVP (as canceled out by Kofi Kingston) is defending. Woods hits an early dropkick into the corner but Lashley is right back with some shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline takes Woods down again and a lifting Downward Spiral gives Lashley two. They go to the floor and fight over a chair, which Lashley punches into Woods’ face.

Back in and Woods knocks him to the floor again, with a dropkick through the ropes connecting. A chair shot knocks Lashley down on the floor and Woods gets to unload with chair shots. We take a break and come back with Lashley choking away before tying him up in the ring skirt. Woods’ comeback is cut off again and Lashley steps on his head.

Woods realizes that having his head stepped on isn’t great (sit down Tony Atlas) and kicks out the leg in a smart move. Some kendo stick shots put Lashley on the floor and a wheelbarrow faceplant gives Woods two. A springboard tornado DDT gets the same and an amazing Limit Breaker puts Lashley through a table (with Woods almost overshooting him) for two more. Back up and Lashley sends him face first into the chair in the corner, meaning the spear can connect as well. The Hurt Lock retains the title at 13:30.

Rating: C+. This is where the opponent comes into play. Woods is incredibly talented and it’s very cool to see him getting this kind of a shot. However, unlike the Mysterio match, it never once felt like the title was in jeopardy. Mysterio was a long shot, but he felt like he had a prayer. That wasn’t the case here and it gave the match a very different dynamic (and not necessarily in a bad way). Lashley was on a roll at this point though and it was clear why he was smashing through so many people.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a weird collection as “Forgotten” is kind of a misleading title (if nothing else, it’s hard to forget a match that didn’t air in the first place). It’s more like “Cell Matches At TV Shows” and one of them didn’t seem to even be a match in the first place.

There’s a reason the Cell isn’t used at TV very often, as it felt out of place here. Throw in doing it twice in four days (apparently due to the TV networks being jealous of each other (seriously) and it was kind of a weird time. That being said, it’s still fun to look back like this, as these went through multiple eras that you might have….forgotten. Ok they win.

 

 

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Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,079
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Time for a redo of a show with a main event billed as the Biggest Fight of the Summer. The more I think of that line, the more I like it. The main event here is Cena (subbing for the injured Bryan) defending against Brock Lesnar, who is having his first match since breaking the Streak. Interestingly enough, I don’t even remember another match from this card. Let’s get to it.

I usually don’t say anything on the pre-show, but my goodness Renee Young is stunning. I know you often hear about the Divas looking great, but she is just beautiful, especially in a nice red dress here.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

No real story here. Rob rolls out of a wristlock to start and we hit the ECW chants. My goodness there’s other stuff to cheer over people. Cesaro is sent to the floor and Rob slips a bit on his dive but still manages to kick Cesaro down and hit Rolling Thunder on the outside. Back in and Cesaro simplifies stuff by just pummeling Van Dam in the corner before throwing him down with the gutwrench suplex.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a chinlock as the announcers give us one final hype for Cena vs. Lesnar. Rob fights up for a rolling cradle and the split legged moonsault for two, followed by a superkick to put Cesaro back on the floor. This is Van Dam 101 here, which was the biggest criticism he faced during this time. The Five Star is broken up by a big uppercut but Rob is still able to block a superplex.

That earns him another uppercut though because Cesaro is pesky like that. Van Dam shoves him down again but Cesaro hits the third straight uppercut, only to be shoved down yet again. Rob is finally able to dive…..right into an uppercut of course. This time it’s Cesaro kicking Rob in the face for two and frustration is setting in. Back up and Van Dam hits his quick step over kick, followed by the Five Star for the pin at 8:06.

Rating: C-. The uppercut sequence was nice but like I said, Van Dam was just doing high spots here and nothing else. That was the case for most of his 2014 run and that’s not really doing anything for him at this point. Cesaro was just wandering around at this point, which makes his Wrestlemania battle royal win feel like the biggest waste of a rub in recent history, which is really covering a lot of ground.

In a sign of the times, Hulk Hogan is brought out to open the show. Well to be fair it worked really well at Wrestlemania XXX so this isn’t the worst idea in the world. He thinks it’s appropriate for Hollywood Hogan to open the show here in Los Angeles and talks about how amazing Summerslam really is. This turns into a commercial for the Network, all while Hogan’s video is playing behind him. Hogan hits the catchphrase and he’s out in less than three minutes. This was fine and got the crowd fired up while also plugging something. Well done.

The opening video is in the theme of an old 1980s action movie trailer (Follow the Buzzards Productions) with the usual previews for the main events, but with everyone’s nickname instead of their actual name. I really liked this as a movie geek and it holds up quite well a year later.

It’s a shame that the curse of the standardized sets has hit Summerslam as well. It’s the second biggest show of the year. Mix that stuff up people.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and has the Hollywood star gimmick. I still really like his work in this and still find him to be one of the better done characters. Before the match, Miz talks about being real instead of CGI and brags about how jealous you all should be of the moneymaker. Tonight he’s going to make Ziggler the WWE version of the Lakers. Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Ice Bucket Challenge, back when that was still a thing.

The threat of a superkick sends Miz bailing to the floor as we hear about the Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel match from Summerslam 1992 where it was agreed that neither would hit the other in the face. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Dolph but he gets whipped chest first into the corner as Miz takes over. With his variety of stomps used up, Miz kicks Dolph hard in the face before slapping on a chinlock.

The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle, but you could say the same thing about Ziggler so it’s not really clear. Dolph punches him out of the air and hits a Stinger Splash before a rollup gets two more. Now the superkick connects with the moneymaker for two so we get the required attempt at bailing, only to have Dolph baseball slide him down.

Somehow that earns Ziggler a Figure Four (because Miz needed a submission hold and it’s always a good thing to pay tribute to Flair, who won SO many major matches with that hold right?) but Dolph is in the ropes. His leg is fine enough for a Fameasser but Miz pops to his feet for the Skull Crushing Finale before he starts to sell. The kickout shocks Miz again but he misses another running boot, allowing Dolph to score with the Zig Zag for the pin and the title at 7:57.

Rating: C-. These two don’t have any kind of special chemistry but they would fight each other for the better part of eternity because WWE doesn’t know how to set up anything fresh more than once every few months. Ziggler winning the title gave the fans a nice moment but there was nothing to the match.

We recap the latest part of the RIVETING Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon feud where Stephanie brought Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist to say she and Bryan had an affair, leading to Brie slapping the therapist and getting arrested, just as she had done to Stephanie a few weeks earlier. The affair stuff was so hated that they dropped it pretty much the next day.

Brie talks about doing a bunch of reflecting while she was in jail where she thought about Stephanie torturing Nikki while Brie was gone, how she insulted Bryan and how she paid the therapist to lie about an affair. She’s going to take out the beast tonight because that’s best for business. Oh dear I think I’m going to have something to say about this.

Divas Title: Paige vs. AJ Lee

Paige is challenging and they’ve been feuding for most of the summer with AJ returning and winning the title, causing Paige to start imitating her for reasons that still aren’t clear. They’re friends and enemies at the same time (yes I know there’s a word that combines the two and no I won’t use it) so Paige offers a handshake, only to have AJ rip some of her hair out. AJ stays all aggressive (Heaven help me if I say the other word about her) and sends Paige onto the announcers’ table, only to have Paige come back with a knee to the ribs.

The champ gets dropped onto the barricade but Paige realizes she can’t win the title via countout. Back in and we get Paige’s sexy crawl over AJ before she pulls her own hair extensions out. Well no one ever accused Paige of being normal. The chinlock on AJ goes nowhere and she’s able to shove Paige off the top, though she’s nice enough to blow her a kiss first.

A top rope clothesline to the floor drops Paige again. The Shining Wizard gets two but Paige kicks her in the face, only to have the Paige Turner countered into the Black Widow. Just like at the Raw after Wrestlemania though, Paige powers out again and scores with the Rampaige for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was similar to the Divas version of Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect back at Summerslam 1993 where they basically guaranteed a classic but just had a good match instead. This was one of the last good feuds before Nikki took over the title in a few months, which we’re somehow still surviving nine months later. Lucky us.

Summerslam 2015 will be in New York/New Jersey. That would be slightly changed to Brooklyn

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Speaking of things still going on later, these two are still having the same match the following summer. This is also a flag match, meaning a regular match with the winner getting their flag raised. Lana (rocking the white suit here) and Zeb Colter (remember him?) are the seconds. Before the match, Lana says that Hollywood is a great example of everything wrong with America. In real life, there is no happy ending and America is full of worthless cowards.

Swagger counters with members of the US Army Color Guard to present the American flag. Rusev jumps Jack before the bell and the American flag falls, which is a big sign of disrespect. Swagger counters into a Patriot Lock as we’re still waiting on the bell. The referee breaks it up so Lana orders Rusev to his feet. Now the bell rings and Jack goes after the leg and ankle again.

Rusev bails to the floor so Swagger, showing some fire for a change, follows him out with a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb hits knees though, which really should hurt the bad leg but why bother with logic? Jack happens to have bad ribs coming in so Rusev has his own target now. With the leg breaking down, Rusev opts for a bearhug, meaning he has to stay on his feet anyway. Jack can’t belly to belly his way to freedom but his second attempt works a bit better.

The Vader Bomb connects but hurts Jack’s ribs all over again. Rusev’s superkick is caught in the Patriot Lock but Rusev is quickly out, only to walk into a powerslam for two. The second superkick connects and the Accolade (on one leg) goes on, only to be countered into the Patriot Lock. Rusev kicks out of that as well, spinwheel kicks Jack down, and Accolades him again for the knockout victory.

Rating: C. This is a tricky one to grade, as yet again, since these guys have fought roughly a dozen times, I never once believed Rusev was in trouble. That being said, they did a good job here of using the ankle injury to try to add some drama. It’s a very difficult thing to do when there is almost zero doubt as to who is winning, but they gave it a good try.

The problem for these two is they’re still fighting on occasion and it never gets any closer for Jack. That’s something WWE is really bad about: they don’t understand that fans don’t want to see the same obvious match over and over again but that’s what we get because there’s no one other than Swagger (or Henry) to take these losses. Bring back unknown jobbers or something, because they have about the same chance of winning and would at least feel fresh for a change.

Rusev attacks Colter post match and the Russian flag comes down.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose, which is Dean’s first attempt for revenge on Seth after Rollins broke up the Shield over the summer. Seth ran a lot previously but tonight it’s time for a lumberjack match so Dean can finally get his hands on him.

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose

Most of the lumberjacks were attacked by Rollins and the Shield at some point in the last year and a half. Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s a slugout as soon as they’re both in the ring with Dean taking over and knocking Rolling outside. That goes as badly as you would expect for Rollins so he goes back inside for something a bit safer: Ambrose ripping at his nose. This time it’s Dean being sent outside for a beating but some guys hold the attackers back.

Now it’s Rollins in control for a bit so Ambrose just punches him in the face. He goes up top for no logical reason (to be fair he’s supposed to be crazy) and gets caught in the Tree of Woe as Seth really takes over. A chinlock doesn’t go very far as Dean is sent to the apron, only to suplex Rollins over the top and out onto the lumberjacks in a big crash. The whole thing turns into a war with Dean backdropping Rollins over the barricade.

Dean dives onto the lumberjacks because he’s nuts and then down the announcers’ tables to get to Rollins in the crowd. This is more like what the match should have been and it’s about time they got to it. They fight into the balcony as Kane comes down to tell the lumberjacks to do their job. Bo Dallas stops Rollins from powerbombing Dean off the balcony so Seth runs towards the entrance but gets caught by Stardust, Big E. and the Usos.

Rollins is literally carried back to the ring but Dean is waiting on them with a huge dive off the top. Back in and Dirty Deeds is countered but Ambrose blasts him with the rebound lariat. NOW the crowd is way into things and Dean curb stomps Seth, only to have Kane come in for the save. The lumberjacks get in another fight because they all have anger management issues. Dean dispatches the Wyatts but walks into a briefcase shot to the face for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is one where your opinions may vary wildly and I’m not going to put up much of an argument either way. There were only so many ways that they mess with the idea to keep the lumberjack gimmick going (which fit the story) while also being insane. Good, insane brawl here and that’s what it needed to be.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt, which started because Bray decided it was time and didn’t like Jericho calling himself a savior. Jericho beat Wyatt clean at Battleground in a stupid decision so tonight the Family is barred from ringside. I have no idea why they thought this would make me interested in seeing it again but it’s better than another gimmick match.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

The fireflies are still so cool looking. Bray goes right after him to start and they’re quickly on the floor with Jericho stepping over Bray’s hat. That’s polite of him. Jericho gets shoved to the floor as the announcers start reading Tweets. I know the match isn’t the most thrilling story in the world but come on. A running knee sends Jericho’s head into the steps and Bray drives him into the post for good measure.

Back inside and we hit the chinlock, because no matter how insane or unconventional someone is, they make sure to throw on a chinlock. Like everyone has ever done, Jericho fights out with ease and gets one off an enziguri. Jericho’s dropkick stops a charging Bray but he walks into the release Rock Bottom for two. Sister Abigail is countered into the Walls but Bray gets a rope (unlike in NXT where he tapped to the Walls years ago).

Bray goes to the middle rope so Jericho can hurricanrana him back down for a delayed two. I’m never a fan of people going up just so someone can hit them with a move. It’s a stretch of the suspension of disbelief. Bray spiders up and says that he can’t die because he is already dead. Jericho breaks his code for two and Bray slides outside where he smacks Jericho in the face, setting up Sister Abigail into the barricade. Back in and another Sister Abigail is enough to give Bray the pin.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t really feeling this one as it’s a match that Bray was supposed to win and then did. He was still trying to recover from the huge blow of losing the feud to Cena and losing the first match to Jericho really didn’t do him any favors. The match was nothing to see either as Jericho was starting to run on fumes again here. This would have been so much more effective if Jericho hadn’t won the first match.

Bray serenades us post match.

We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon, which was a recap I needed when I watched this show live as the whole thing was such a mess. So Stephanie was all evil to Daniel Bryan, but Bryan is on the shelf with his neck injury so the feud was transferred over to Brie, because Brie and Bryan are totally the same thing.

Stephanie threatened to fire Brie but Brie quit first, leaving Stephanie to torture Nikki by putting her in handicap matches against such devastating forces as Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Cameron and Eva Marie. Yes, this was really supposed to be intimidating. Brie and Stephanie sued each other over slapping each other because that’s what this feud needed. Then Brie offered to drop the charges in exchange for a match with Stephanie at Summerslam, because that’s how wrestling works.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella

This is Stephanie’s first match in ten years and the announcers act like it’s Bruno vs. Hogan. We immediately get to the point as Stephanie comes out in something that looks like a superhero outfit with skin tight leather that shows off every inch of her figure. Oh and of course she throws the Four Horsewomen sign to Ronda Rousey and the other three women whose names no one knows (in the front row when Rousey was just starting to make noise as a big time star) because Stephanie is cool like that.

The announcers swoon over Stephanie like it’s Trish in 2000 and then give Brie a polite response. That’s the match right there: Brie looks good while Stephanie looks amazing and it’s entirely by design. Stephanie shoves Brie against the ropes to start and blows her a kiss. Brie gets back up and can barely do a lockup properly. Some shoulders in the corner have Brie in more trouble as the announcers try to act like Brie is some big physical threat while also pointing out that Stephanie has long legs.

The big slap is blocked though and the threat of a YES Lock sends Stephanie outside, likely out of fear due to how bad Brie made the hold look on Raw a few weeks back. Brie’s suicide dive is blocked by a forearm to the face and it’s Stephanie in control again. Stephanie talks trash and busts out a Hennig neck snap, drawing a YOU STILL GOT IT (shut up. Stephanie never had it in the ring in the first place. Think before you chant) and even more praise from the announcers.

Stephanie cranks on both arms as Brie has been on offense for all of fifteen seconds so far. An evil look that would make Edge jealous looks to set up….something, but Brie comes back with a Thesz press and the YES Kicks in the corner. Well close enough to them as she can’t get the timing right because the one spot that is going to get her a cheer is too complicated for her.

The middle rope dropkick gets two on Stephanie and Brie follows up with some of the absolute worst punches I have ever seen. I mean even Lita’s horrible punches (go back and watch her matches. She’s one of the most athletic women in wrestling history but she couldn’t throw a good punch to save her life) look great compared to these. HHH comes out but Nikki is here as well because those two are so equal. The Pedigree is countered into whatever Brie calls her imitation of the YES Lock because that’s not the hold her husband uses.

HHH pulls the referee out anyway, which shocks Cole for some reason. I have no idea why Cole is switching sides so fast because he’s spent the last ten minutes praising Stephanie. Brie baseball slides HHH and does the YES chant, only to have Nikki come in….and turn on Brie because that’s the least logical and worst idea they could go with for this story. Stephanie Pedigrees Brie for the pin.

Rating: D+. Where do I even start with this one? First and foremost: Brie Bella is a horrible wrestler. She’s a beautiful woman, she’s found the right look for herself with the ripped tights and shirt tied around her waist and she can clap on the floor, but she just does not have it in the ring. Some of the stuff in here was Eva Marie level work with those punches and the inability to do a lockup properly just being unforgivable.

On top of that, this is the wrong story. After the months and months of the Authority tormenting the Bellas, they win here in the end with Brie getting squashed until a quick comeback at the end, only to have it all taken away from her again so we can get to the Bella feud that no one other than the Total Divas producers wanted to see. Nikki turning on Brie would lead to the “I wish you died in the womb” nonsense that went on forever and was then just dropped, but I spent a three months ranting about that so I’ll cut myself off for now. Brie should have won here, no matter how bad she looked in the ring.

That gets us to the final point: this match was ALL about Stephanie. Brie was just the person in the ring to bounce off of her as Stephanie got to look great (both mechanically and physically. I know she gets a lot of flack, but Stephanie can rock some tight outfits) out there and even had the crowd cheering for her. That praise was well deserved though as Stephanie was as polished here as any Diva had been since probably Mickie James but, as is always the case, Stephanie has to look great and can’t get any comeuppance. In this case though, she deserves a lot of praise because this was one heck of a performance.

Some fan won a contest and got to make a character called Mama’s Boy, complete with some training. He even got to make an entrance at NXT, to the Hurricane’s old theme song for some reason. Eh cute enough.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

This is due to Reigns costing Orton a title shot and Reigns’ first big solo match. I like the blue trim on Reigns’ attire but it can be a bit distracting. Orton goes right at him to start and is quickly headbutted out to the floor. Some right hands and a clothesline put Orton outside again but he sends Reigns into the steps and takes it back inside for a chinlock. This isn’t exactly thrilling stuff so far. We hit the Garvin Stomp followed by a nice top rope superplex for two. I love a good superplex.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Reigns counters into a rear naked choke of all things. See, why doesn’t he do stuff like that more often today? There’s more to life than clotheslines. Orton falls backwards to escape and we’re right back to the chinlock. Orton isn’t exactly giving Reigns much to work with here. The Samoan drop gives Roman a breather and he jacks Randy’s jaw to set up the apron kick. Lawler: “Reigns kicked the Kryptonite out of him!”

Orton whips him into the barricade to take over again though and drops him onto the announcers’ table to keep Roman in trouble. Back in again and Reigns punches his way back into it (shocking I know), followed by a super Samoan drop for two more. The Superman Punch knocks Orton silly but he counters the spear into one heck of a powerslam. That looked great.

The Orton DDT gets two but Reigns gets up for another Superman Punch, only to dive into the RKO for a very near fall. Randy is livid so he loads up the Punt, which is about the dumbest thing you can do against someone who uses the spear for a finisher. Well that’s how it should have ended but instead Reigns just moves away from the Punt and then the spear is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be a huge turning point for Reigns’ career but it came off as just an ok match with some good moments. The first seven to eight minutes really dragged this down as the chinlocks took the crowd out of things. Now to their credit, Orton and Reigns were able to get them back later on but this needed some tweaks to really make it work. It’s Reigns’ biggest win yet but it really wasn’t anything great.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar. The idea is Cena beat Lesnar two and a half years ago when Lesnar returned, but since then Lesnar has reached his full Beast Mode and is the unstoppable monster. Cena is pretty clearly a fill in for the injured Daniel Bryan, who would have made for a better story here. They really aren’t hiding the fact that Lesnar is going to win the title here but you know Cena isn’t going down without a fight.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. They do the big staredown across the ring before the bell and we get one of my favorite Cole lines: “It’s the biggest fight of the summer.” I know that was the tagline going into this match but I love his delivery there. Before we get started, awesome sign in the crowd: “Cena wins, we logically discuss on Twitter.” Cena charges right at him but gets taken down to the mat…..and the F5 connects at thirty seconds. I actually screamed “NO WAY! NO WAY!” when I saw that for the first time.

Lesnar shouts that Cena just had his one chance and I think everyone in the building believes him. Cena looks totally out of it and we’re 90 seconds into this. The first release German suplex sends Cena flying and the fans are just stunned. German #2 has Cena’s mouth hanging open and the replay makes it look even worse. Cena wildly swings but only hits the mat.

A quick drive into the corner and some shots to the ribs just annoy Lesnar as he knees Cena to the mat and slaps on a chinlock so Cena can remember what planet he’s on. More punches from Cena are stopped by a knee as this is even more dominant than I remembered. Four more Germans (six total, counting a snap that I didn’t mention) have Cena a crippled mass in the middle of the ring. Lesnar drives even more knees into the ribs and pulls Cena up so he can throw another German.

The referee FINALLY checks on Cena, who says he’ll have two eggs and sausage. John goes flying off another German but elbows out of the next and gets in some right hands and a clothesline, followed by an AA for two. That seems like Cena’s last gasp though and he can’t follow up. Lesnar does the Undertaker sit up…..and starts laughing. He tells Cena to get out of the corner and bring it on while bouncing back and forth on his feet. Cena charges and gets taken down and pounded in the head.

Cena can’t even move on the mat but tells the referee to let it keep going. Lesnar is ticked off at Cena not quitting so he rolls four straight German suplexes, earning what sounds like applause. He still won’t quit, so there are three more rolling Germans. With Brock standing over him, Cena sweeps the leg and puts on the STF but Brock rolls over and just unloads on him with right hands. The F5 finally ends the slaughter and gives Brock the title.

Rating: A+. This was hard to watch. Not hard in the WCW or TNA hard to watch way, but in the “that’s enough, stop this before Cena dies” hard to watch way. This was a complete squash that ran 16:14. In that span of time, and this is being VERY generous at times, Cena was on offense for 1:22. That’s including the opening where they were grappling on the mat and the time where Cena was trying to break Brock’s grip.

Above all else though, this match did what it was supposed to do, which is make Brock Lesnar look like the biggest monster this side of Godzilla. This wasn’t a technical masterpiece or anything, but the fact that it got this kind of emotion out of me is doing something right. Outstanding performance and Cena selling so well made it even better.

Cena is checked on and can’t move to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Something occurred to me as I was getting ready for this show: I didn’t remember anything about it other than the main event. I can tell you the main event for all of the big four shows and every In Your House off the top of my head, but I had no idea that Orton and Reigns had a match here. Looking back, it’s easy to see why. Other than Lesnar vs. Cena, nothing on here is anything outside of the average range. Almost all of the redo ratings are in the middle of the pack and nothing else is memorable. It’s a watchable show, but totally forgettable, which isn’t something you should say about Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

AJ Lee vs. Paige

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

Original: C+

Redo: C

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B

Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C-

Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Original: C

Redo: B-

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C+

……what? I mean just…..what? That overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense. Other than Brie vs. Stephanie and maybe Orton vs. Reigns, nothing really changed drastically, but it went from great to above average? I REALLY got into that Lesnar vs. Cena match the first time around. That original rating actually made my eyes bug out when I read it to see what I had originally given the show.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/17/summerslam-2014-on-the-a-list/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.

Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.

Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.

Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.

Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.

Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.

He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.

The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.

Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.

House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?

There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.

Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.

Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.

Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.

We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 21, 2008
Location: Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re almost to Cyber Sunday and that means we have a total of one thing happening here. In this case that means a trio of wrestlers are coming after Matt Hardy’s ECW Title at the pay per view. That’s not the easiest way to present an hour long show but it isn’t like they’re inexperienced with this stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Matt Hardy to get things going. He has a bunch of people coming after his title, including a tough man in Finlay and an incredible athlete in Evan Bourne. Then there’s Mark Henry, who wants one more shot at Hardy. Well Hardy wants one more shot at Henry, who has his vote. This brings out Finlay and Hornswoggle, with the former saying he’s coming for the title in their first singles match on Sunday.

Evan Bourne joins them, with Finlay making short jokes (while standing next to a leprechaun). Mark Henry and Tony Atlas join us as well, with the latter threatening to hurt everyone in the triple threat tonight (as apparently there’s a triple threat tonight). Hardy doesn’t care who he is facing, because he’s keeping the title on Sunday.

Jack Swagger vs. Brett Badery

Badery tries to go after the leg to start and is quickly run over. The Red White And Blue Bomb finishes Badery fast.

Post match Swagger is asked about Tommy Dreamer. Swagger: “Tommy Who?” Something something Pinball Wizard.

Miz and John Morrison want to get voted in to face Cryme Tyme. Miz thinks he would have been a better running mate for John McCain than Sarah Palin.

Shad Gaspard vs. The Miz

JTG and John Morrison are here too. Gaspard backs him into the corner to start but misses a charge to give Miz an opening. A powerslam gets Gaspard out of trouble but he gets low bridged to the floor, with Miz’s baseball slide connecting. Back in and Gaspard fights out of an armbar, meaning it’s time to hit Miz in the face over and over. Morrison’s distraction is cut off by JTG and Gaspard gets in a spinebuster. Morrison kicks Gaspard in the back of the head…and that’s a DQ. I’m not sure if that’s how it was supposed to go as they seem a bit confused.

Rating: C. That’s a weird way to end the match as it seemed to come out of nowhere. Having a simple cheap shot be enough for the DQ was an odd way to go and it’s not like Gaspard gets much out of winning this way. Miz wasn’t good enough to carry a match on his own yet and it was kind of showing here, though at least it didn’t go that long.

John Cena is coming back. People like him.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Ricky Ortiz is in the back with Tiffany when Hornswoggle and Finlay come trick or treating. The payoff: Teddy Long as Shad. Long: “There goes one bad….” Tiffany: “Shut your mouth.” I’ve seen dumber. Like Ricky Ortiz.

Finlay vs. Evan Bourne vs. Mark Henry

Striker explains the rules, saying all three “entertainers” are in the ring at once. Finlay and Bourne’s early double teaming doesn’t work as Henry fights back. A low bridge puts Henry on the floor so Finlay drops Bourne with a clothesline for two. Back up and Bourne sends Finlay into Henry on the floor but Henry is back in for the save.

We take a break and come back with Henry crushing Bourne in the corner, followed by a neck crank to Finlay. That’s broken up with Henry being sent outside, leaving Finlay to powerbomb Bourne for two. Henry is back in to block Finlay’s crucifix and World’s Strongest Slam Bourne at the same time, because that can be done. Finlay is back up with a DDT for two on Henry but seems to have hurt his pectoral muscle. Tony Atlas goes after Hornswoggle on the floor but the distraction lets Finlay grab the shillelagh to drop both of them. Bourne kicks Finlay down though and Air Bourne finishes Henry.

Rating: B-. Bourne is the best choice for the title match, as Finlay is only so interesting and Henry vs. Hardy has already been done. Hopefully the fans see it the same way, but that’s part of the point of Cyber Sunday: allowing the fans to be sent in the direction WWE wants. It might not work in the end, but at least the setup is working well enough.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was ok enough, but the rest of the show was just stuff filling in the card. It’s more of the same problem from ECW, as almost nothing but the title picture matters. The tag feud is more about Smackdown/Raw and Swagger vs. Dreamer…come on already. As usual, this show is so much easier to watch because it’s short, but that certainly doesn’t make it interesting.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 14, 2008
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re coming up on Cyber Sunday and that means Matt Hardy is going to need a challenger for his ECW Title. There are only so many options available, but Mark Henry has to be a top option. The show needs something else to build towards, but that has been the case for a long time around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Mark Henry and Tony Atlas to get things going. We see Henry smashing through various people last week, with Atlas calling that a message. Henry wants another ECW Title shot against Matt Hardy but gets Teddy Long instead. Long says Henry doesn’t get a title shot just because he jumped Hardy, but he can be one of three options for the fans to pick as challenger at Cyber Sunday. We’ll have two more challengers, with the qualifying matches starting right now. Simple, to the point stuff here, as Long can do well.

Cyber Sunday Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Evan Bourne

Before the match, Bourne offers Henry a handshake and gets as far as you’re probably expecting. They fight over a lockup to start with Guerrero taking him to the mat with a headlock. Back up and Bourne knocks him to the floor and things slow down a bit. Guerrero gets back in to grab a headlock before grinding on an armbar.

Bourne pops up with a middle rope armbar, only to have Guerrero stomp him down in the corner. Back up again and Bourne sends him outside for the big running flip dive and we take a break. We come back with Guerrero working on the leg, including grabbing a Muta Lock. With that broken up, Bourne gets a quick rollup for two, followed by a jumping knee to the face.

Bourne goes up and gets crotched on top (Grisham: “Right in the capital of Thailand!) to give Guerrero two. Guerrero is right back on the leg but Bourne uses the good one for a kick to the side of the head. The super hurricanrana sets up the shooting star press (nice knee injury there) to give Bourne the pin.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match as Bourne was able to showcase his talents rather well, as he seemed to know he was getting a big chance. At the same time, Guerrero deserves a lot of praise of his own. Guerrero’s job here was to make Bourne look good and that’s exactly what he did, with the result being one of the best matches on ECW in a long time.

Post match Henry comes in to crush Bourne for a World’s Strongest Slam and a mocking handshake.

You know who else has options for Cyber Sunday challengers? HHH.

The Boogeyman is still coming.

We look at Vladimir Kozlov taking out Jeff Hardy last week, setting up their match this week on Smackdown.

Tiffany, dressed as a Las Vegas showgirl, wants Teddy Long to be Elvis (yes she has a costume) for Halloween. Jack Swagger comes in to say he wants a title shot but here is Tommy Dreamer to say the same. Swagger mocks him for saying this isn’t 1996 and says he’s here to make a legacy, unlike Dreamer. I would say ouch, but that’s pretty accurate.

You can pick the referee for the Raw World Title match! This show has quite a bit of filler.

Cyber Sunday Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. John Morrison

Hornswoggle and Miz are here too. Finlay grabs a headlock to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Naturally Finlay is fine on the mat and works on the leg, with Morrison having to grab a chinlock to escape again. A half crab sends Morrison over to the rope so he knocks Finlay down into an armbar as this is more technical than I was expecting.

Back up and Finlay sends Morrison outside onto Miz, with Hornswoggle getting in a dive as the referee is checking on Finlay’s absolutely damaged eye. We take a break and come back with Morrison staying on the arm and staying on the arm and then staying on the arm a big more.

Finlay is back up and gets kicked back down, meaning it’s more barring of the arm. They ram heads for an actual break and it’s Finlay up with a Regal Roll for two. Morrison’s backbreaker gets the same and draws in Hornswoggle, where he has to play some possum. Cue Mike Knox for a failed distraction but Cryme Tyme sneaks in with a shillelagh for Finlay, who knocks Morrison out for the win.

Rating: C+. If the idea here was to get Morrison over like Guerrero did for Bourne in the opener, it didn’t work. That never ending armbar killed whatever they were doing and the ending was only so interesting. I wasn’t getting into this one and it just dragged on forever, which didn’t work in the slightest.

And then Finlay knocks Cryme Tyme down with the shillelagh (that’s a mixture of rude and mean). As Finlay leaves, Mark Henry pops up for a World’s Strongest Slam.

Overall Rating: B-. That opener more than carried this show but it was clear that they didn’t have much to talk about here. That’s the problem with ECW, as it’s basically the ECW Title and nothing else. Bourne and Guerrero pulled this one up to another level though with a rather good match but the show only being about 45 minutes long was a big break as there just wasn’t much to see.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Money in the Bank 2010
Date: July 18, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

This was streamed almost a year ago and for me, that’s a pretty fast turnaround. One of the things that often interests me is looking back at a show that I haven’t thought about since maybe two days after it originally aired. This is the inaugural standalone edition of the match, which makes it a bit more interesting as there was already a Money In The Bank match at Wrestlemania. Other than that there’s…well whatever else is on this show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about what you are willing to risk to have your dreams come true. Makes enough sense.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Big Show

For the Smackdown briefcase and Kingston is Intercontinental Champion. Striker talks about how Jack Swagger (6’6) has set the precedent for giants winning the briefcase. Cole immediately points out that size means nothing in these matches, cutting Striker off at the knees in the process. It’s a big brawl to start with Rhodes setting up a ladder and trying to go up. That doesn’t work well at all, as Kane and Show break it up and get in a fight of their own. Show gets the better of things and tries to climb…but breaks the rung.

After beating some people up, Show throws the ladder over the top and down onto Kane. Show goes outside to get a different ladder and is promptly beaten down. McIntyre loads up another ladder and sends Christian into it, meaning it’s time to set up the ladder inside. Hardy cuts him off but has to trade saves with Christian. Ziggler goes up top and slugs it out with Christian, who shoves him down.

Hardy breaks that up as well but the two of them have to double DDT Kane. Christian drops Hardy onto a bridged ladder but Hardy fights back and goes up again. That’s broken up as McIntyre pulls him down and sends various people into the post. Kane is back again and loads up the announcers’ table (Lawler makes sure to get his WWE Slurpee out of the way) but opts to grab a ladder instead.

Kingston (hey he’s still in this match) dropkicks the ladder into Kane’s face and then hits Trouble In Paradise to knock McIntyre onto the announcers’ table. The Boom Drop off the ladder drives McIntyre through the table (Striker: “That’s a Money In The Bank moment for Kofi Kingston!” Shut up Striker.) and they’re both down. Ziggler goes up and gets chokeslammed by Show, who then gets in a fight with Kane.

Show knocks him outside and then crushes Hardy and Christian underneath another ladder. That’s enough for Show to go outside and grab a huge, extra thick ladder. The ladder apparently weighs 350lbs so Show….can’t pull it over the top. He finally wakes up and shifts it underneath the top rope to get it inside. That takes way too long though and Rhodes makes the save with a ladder shot to the knee.

Ziggler pulls Rhodes down and goes in the direction of the giant ladder, with Show having none of that. Kingston springboards onto the ladder and tornado DDTs Show down. Rhodes dropkicks Kingston but gets sent crashing into the ladder to leave everyone down. It’s Show up next and climbing the big ladder, with Kane shoving him off and out to the floor. That means it’s time to bury Show underneath a pile of ladders, which is quite the visual.

A bunch of people go up the big ladder (which is big enough for two people to go up one side at a time), with Kane wrecking almost everyone. Ziggler jumps up behind him and grabs a sleeper, earning him a crash onto the pile of ladders (and Show underneath). Kingston is chokeslammed onto the same pile before Kane chases Rhodes up the ramp.

Rhodes is rammed into one of the armored trucks, allowing Kane to go up the ladder again. That’s cut off by Hardy and Christian’s double powerbomb, who get in a fight on top of the ladder. Both of them go crashing down…and McIntyre crawls back inside. He makes the slow climb, only to get chokeslammed by Kane, who gets the briefcase to win at 26:19.

Rating: B. There was a great match in there somewhere but it went on a bit too long and that hurt the whole things a bit. As a result, it was more just a good one, with all kinds of carnage and some big crashes. Show being buried was cool and Kane felt like an unstoppable monster who finally won the thing. I liked it quite a bit, but shave about five to eight minutes off and it’s that much better.

Raw World Champion Sheamus doesn’t want to hear about John Cena and the Nexus. Sheamus has been watching Nexus’ random attacks but he believed he was untouchable. Then on Raw he stared into their eyes and it was like looking at a soulless great white shark. He knows you have to worry about the Nexus, but no, of course he doesn’t respect Cena. Tonight, he’ll give Cena a worse beating than the Nexus did because he’s a bigger threat.

Raw Women’s Title: Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox

Fox is defending. They fight over a lockup to start until Torres gets some rollups for two each. Torres’ running knee in the corner connects but a tornado DDT is blocked. Fox sends her back first into the apron and then bends said back over her knee. The double arm crank is on to stay on the back but Torres monkey flips her way out. Torres’ back gives out a bit but she’s able to put Fox down, setting up the standing moonsault for two. A kick to the head looks to set up a middle rope Swanton, which hits Fox’s raised knees. The ax kick retains the title at 5:53.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a particularly great match but they had an easy story to follow and it made perfectly simple sense. You could see things going a bit better for the division around this point as the women were certainly getting at least a bit better. We were a long way off from it being great, but this is definitely a better result.

We look at Jack Swagger attacking Kane on Smackdown, with Rey Mysterio making the save and beating up Papa Swagger (as played by Bunkhouse Buck).

Swagger is on the phone with his mom, who isn’t happy with what he did. He finally tells her to shut up and seems to blame his father for what happened. Swagger says his dad got what he deserved for trying to steal the spotlight. He couldn’t risk Kane hurting him and his dad would have done the same thing. Tonight his dad can bask in his glory when he wins the World Title.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Hart Dynasty

The Usos, challenging and with Tamina (while Natalya is with the champs) have only been around for about two months and this is their first feud. Smith and Jey trade waistlocks to start with Smith getting the better of things. Kidd comes in for a hurricanrana but Jey goes with the more classic method of hitting Hart in the face. It’s off to Jimmy (thank goodness for different tights) to stomp away in the corner, followed by Jey’s running Umaga Attack for two.

The chinlock goes on but Smith is up with a backdrop to get out of trouble. Jimmy is right there to cut off the tag though and some stomping gets two. We’re already back to the chinlock, which is broken up just as fast for the tag to Kidd. House is cleaned but Kidd misses a blind tag and gets tossed into a Samoan drop for two. The Superfly Splash hits raised knees and it’s back to Smith for the big shoulder. Tamina’s distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter so Natalya takes her down, meaning the Sharpshooter can retain the titles at 5:53.

Rating: C+. This was a Raw match and pretty much nothing more, making it another case of filler. That’s kind of what happens when you have a pair of eight person matches as you don’t have much else to fill in the card. Unfortunately this isn’t the kind of a match that can be stretched out much longer, as 2010 wasn’t the best time for the tag division (granted that could be said about most of the time for….decades really).

We recap Rey Mysterio defending the Smackdown World Title against Jack Swagger. Mysterio won the title in a four way last month but now he has a torn ligament in his ankle. That’s quite the target for Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger

Mysterio is defending and badly limping on the way to the ring. Swagger goes right for the ankle to start, with Mysterio bailing straight to the ropes every time. An ankle lock attempt is cut off by some kicks to the head but it’s way too early for a 619. Instead Swagger powerslams him into the corner and ties him in the Tree Of Woe. The running shoulder misses though and Swagger bails outside, with Mysterio hitting a top rope seated senton

Back in and Mysterio gets caught on top, setting up a release belly to belly superplex. They head back outside, with Mysterio being sent into the announcers’ table for two back inside. Swagger starts in on the leg but Mysterio gets up, only to dive into…something like a Samoan drop. The running Vader Bomb misses though and Mysterio sends him into the corner for a split legged moonsault and a near fall. The sitout bulldog is countered into a wheelbarrow suplex to drop Mysterio again and a gutwrench powerbomb gets two.

A hurricanrana sends Swagger into the post but Swagger picks him up for a super powerslam. That’s reversed into a tornado DDT for a rather near fall and now the 619 connects. The West Coast Pop is blocked though and the Vader Bomb crushed Mysterio. Another Vader Bomb hits but Swagger would rather go after the leg than cover. The ankle lock goes on but Mysterio loses his boot and grabs a hurricanrana to retain at 10:46.

Rating: C+. So Swagger is done as a main eventer right? His whole thing is working on the ankle and he was fighting a much smaller opponent who had a bad ankle. Not only did he look like an idiot for not covering after hitting his other finisher twice, he then loses at all. The match was fine as a midcard fight, but this really didn’t feel like a World Title match.

Post match Swagger jumps him again and grabs the ankle lock. Cue Kane for the save and he chases Swagger to the back. Mysterio gets back up…and Kane is back with the briefcase. Eh points for a nice fake out.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and tries to limp away but gets caught with a chokeslam. A Tombstone gives Kane the pin and the title at 53 seconds.  It’s LONG past the point where Kane got another title so I’ll take it.

Edge is watching in the back when Chris Jericho interrupts. Edge tells him he has eyes in the back of his head and they bicker over Money In The Bank in hushed tones.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is defending and Michelle McCool and Tiffany are here too. To give you an idea of where the title was at this point, Layla’s big issue with Kelly is….she thinks Kelly smells bad. Kelly slaps her into the corner to start but misses a handspring elbow. Layla can’t get very far and is kicked outside, where she ties Kelly’s knee up in the ring skirt. That means Layla can start in on the leg, with McCool getting to laugh at her.

Layla baseball slides Kelly into McCool, who sits on the barricade to pose a bit. Kelly shoves her down and hits the K2 back inside, with McCool putting the foot on the rope. That earns McCool a double clothesline on the floor so Kelly tries a middle rope sunset flip, which is (badly) reversed into a rollup to retain at 3:53.

Rating: D+. This was quite the mess, with the interference either not doing much or feeling like it was just a way to fill in time. That’s on top of Kelly losing clean in the end, which is hardly a way to make her look like important. And again: a title match was set up over someone smelling bad. What more do you need to know here?

We look back at the Smackdown Money In The Bank ladder match and Kane cashing in.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz vs. Mark Henry vs. Ted DiBiase vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne vs. Edge

Raw Money In The Bank, Miz is US Champion, and DiBiase’s theme music starts with “IT’S A NEW DAY!” Like that would ever catch on in wrestling. Edge throws in a ladder and gets inside for the opening bell before bailing out to the floor. The other seven clear the ring so Edge goes up the ladder with Orton making the save. DiBiase drops Morrison onto a ladder but Bourne cuts him off with a ladder shot.

Miz and Jericho get in a fight, with Miz actually getting the better of things until Henry throws a ladder at both of them. Henry gets knocked outside so Bourne goes up, with Orton making a save this time. The hanging DDT drops Bourne off the ladder but Morrison is back up with a Flying Chuck to Orton. Miz and DiBiase get sent into a ladder bridged in the corner so it’s time for a bunch of people to go up. Henry makes the save and clears out a pair of ladders but gets knocked down as well. With everyone on the floor, Maryse (here with DiBiase) takes off her heels and goes up but Morrison pulls her down.

The distraction lets DiBiase get most of the way up until Morrison makes another save. Miz leans a ladder against the post on the floor as Cole starts singing his praises. Morrison is right there again and uses the ladder to climb up top, where he then rides another ladder to the main ladder to stop Edge.

Unfortunately that lets Edge trap Morrison in the ladder and put another ladder over him but DiBiase is back in. A ladder winds up upside down and we’ve got a big old contraption. For some reason DiBiase dives at Henry, who plants him with a World’s Strongest Slam. Miz gets dropped onto a ladder onto Jericho but Edge and Orton cut Henry off from the climb. Henry is sent outside, where he gives Bourne a World’s Strongest Slam of his own. Edge spears Henry and a bunch of people climb up at once.

DiBiase is laid on a bridged ladder and shoved down to the floor for a heck of a nasty crash. An RKO hits Edge, leaving Edge and Morrison to go up top. Jericho winds up hanging upside down and Bourne hits Air Bourne on Orton. Bourne touches the briefcase but Jericho pulls himself up for the save. Jericho shoves Bourne down for a heck of a crash of his own so Edge goes up at the same time. Edge knocks Jericho into an RKO but gets shoved into the upside down ladder (OUCH). Orton goes up but gets shoved down by Miz, who gets the briefcase for the win at 20:38.

Rating: B. This was a bit shorter than the opener, though it didn’t have quite the same huge feeling as the other either. At the same time, I can absolutely go for Miz winning as you have to give someone new the chance. Despite not being the most popular star, Miz absolutely earned this and he elevated himself through the roster for years to get to this point. It’s a heck of an earned moment and I still love it. Other than that, this had some big, hard hitting spots but it was a pretty run of the mill Money In The Bank ladder match, which isn’t the best result when it’s the third of the year.

Post match Miz grabs the mic and rants about how this validates him because he is a future WWE Champion. This is a heck of a promo and you can tell Miz is happy with showing that he is on this level.

We recap Sheamus defending the Raw World Title against John Cena. Sheamus won the title last month in a four way thanks to the Nexus’ interference. Cena wants Sheamus to help him fight the Nexus, which Sheamus FINALLY did (after running away from them, which may have been smarter). Instead they’ll be fighting for the title in a cage to keep things more even. Sheamus beating Cena to win his first World Title, over Cena, has been mentioned a few times as well.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging in a cage. Sheamus wins the battle over a lockup to start and takes Cena into the corner to stomp away. That’s broken up as Cena takes him down to hammer away but charges into an elbow. Sheamus takes him outside the ropes for a face rake against the cage. Back up and Cena tries the shoulders, only to go flying into the cage. Sheamus tries to go up and gets caught in a superplex for his efforts.

The comeback takes too long though and Sheamus hits a DDT for two. The fans are of course behind Cena (they’re good about that) but a running ax handle to the head cuts them off. It works so well that Sheamus does it again and grabs a sleeper. Cena powers up but Sheamus jumps up for a bodyscissors of all things (Striker: “Nice.”) to bring him back down. They get up again and Cena climbs the corner with Sheamus on his back, only for Sheamus to drop down and sweep the leg.

Sheamus’ climb is cut off with a crash onto the ropes and they’re both down again. Now the running shoulders work a bit better for Cena and they go up top again. Sheamus is sent crashing down…but Cena would rather try, and miss, a super Five Knuckle Shuffle than climb out. We switch things up a bit as Cena is tied up in the ropes and Sheamus climbs over to him. Naturally Cena escapes and makes the save, with a super bulldog getting two. Back up and Sheamus grabs the Irish Curse and they’re both down again.

The Brogue Kick knocks Cena silly but Sheamus makes the brilliant move of climbing then stopping to pick Cena back up. The quick AA gives Cena two and here they come. Cue the Nexus with some bolt cutters to open the cage…but the referee manages to take them away. Another referee pulls the key out of his pocket and throws it into the crowd.

As this is going on, the referee inside gets bumped, meaning Cena’s STF makes Sheamus tap to no one. For reasons of “good guys in wrestling are stupid”, Cena lets go and climbs over the top, where Nexus is waiting on him. That’s enough interference for Sheamus to climb out and retain at 23:01.

Rating: C. This was pretty slow and the problem of Nexus is you’re just sitting there waiting around for them to show up. That doesn’t make for the best match and Sheamus was far from the better star that he would become. It’s not a bad match, but that was a long wait for Nexus to FINALLY get there.

Post match Sheamus sprints into the crowd and runs off. Cena is livid and beats up Michael Tarver before promising to take out every member of the Nexus before storming off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you’ve been around long enough, you know how Money In The Bank shows work. You have two matches getting most of the focus and ring time, with maybe one other match feeling important. The cage match was big enough while Mysterio vs. Swagger was just…nothing. I liked the ladder matches and Kane cashing in was cool, but the ending felt more like a way to set up something for later. Good enough show, but it needed more than just the ladder matches.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews
America The Beautiful: Keri Hilson
Host: The Rock

So the big story here is the return of the Rock, who is back for the first time in a good many years and serving as the show’s host. That is already bleeding into the main event, which features John Cena challenging the Miz for the Raw World Title. Other than that, we have the worst Wrestlemania match of all time so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging in a lumberjack match and I think you know where this is going. Also, this wasn’t your traditional pre-show match, but rather a DVD extra. Sheamus starts fast and knocks him into the corner but Bryan gets in the moonsault into the running clothesline. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and Sheamus is sent outside, with Mark Henry throwing him back inside.

Back in and Sheamus hits a hard clothesline before knocking Bryan outside. Bryan is sent back inside and we hit a crossface chickenwing of all things. The comeback is cut off with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two but Bryan slips out of the High Cross. Sheamus is low bridged to the floor and the lumberjacks have to be dispatched. The big brawl is on and the referee throws it out at 4:19.

Rating: C+. This was pretty clearly designed to set up the pretty obvious Wrestlemania battle royal, which is something that happens almost every year. At the same time, that doesn’t exactly make the people in the match feel overly important, which isn’t a great way to go. I like that the title is involved in some way, but dang this wasn’t the best use of the US Title.

Post match the brawl is on and here is Teddy Long to…well dance a bit, and then make the battle royal

Battle Royal

Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Yoshi Tatsu, Evan Bourne, Ted DiBiase, Drew McIntyre, William Regal, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, R-Truth, Zack Ryder, Chavo Guerrero, Jey Uso, Great Khali, Jimmy Uso, David Hart Smith, JTG, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, Johnny Curtis, Chris Masters, Mark Henry, Primo

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t even in the ring to start and Khali throws out Reks and Hawkins in a hurry. Tatsu is out and things slow down a bit as the brawling on the ropes ensues. Khali chops Masters down in the middle of the ring and R-Truth is low bridged out. Henry gets rid of the Usos so a bunch of people get together to toss him. Khali tosses Primo and Ryder is out after him. McIntyre and Guerrero go to the apron with McIntyre eliminating him and Hart Smith being chopped out after him.

JTG gets the same treatment and Sheamus kicks Khali down, which doesn’t seem that smart. Bryan eliminates Kidd and McIntyre does the same to Beretta. Curtis is gone as well and for some reason Masters grabs the Masterlock on the apron. Naturally he’s knocked out and it’s Bourne hitting Air Bourne on McIntyre. Regal unloads on DiBiase but misses a charge and gets eliminated. McIntyre kicks DiBiase out and gets thrown out by Bryan. That leaves Bryan, Sheamus and Khali, with the non-Khali guys going to the apron. Sheamus knocks Bryan out and goes after Khali, who clotheslines him out for the win at 8:28.

Rating: D+. As you can guess, this is the “get everyone on the show” match and that’s not a bad thing. Unfortunately it was a mostly bad match, with the string of people being eliminated that almost always happens in these things. Khali winning is fine, but the US Title being used to set up this less than important match isn’t a great sign of where the title was at this point.

Keri Hilson sings America The Beautiful.

Here’s the Rock to get things going, naturally with a big over the top introduction. This is a pretty big deal as he hasn’t really don anything important in WWE since around 2004. Rock hits his catchphrases and says we’re making history with all kinds of things tonight. He has the fans say MANIA when he says WRESTLE and then mocks John Cena with the Fruity Pebbles stuff.

Then he pauses for a bit and has some of the people’s water as this is not exactly going well. He has the fans get involved with a YABBA DABBA chant then hits some rhymes about how big this show is going to be. It’s bigger than Christmas, though there’s no offense to Santa. The big catchphrase wraps everything up after….pretty much nothing.

The opening video mostly looks at the history of Wrestlemania and hypes up the Rock’s return, plus the biggest matches.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is challenging (after winning the Royal Rumble) and has Ricardo Rodriguez doing his custom entrance, as usual, plus bodyguard Brodus Clay. Edge has Christian with him to even things out a bit so there are quite a few people here. There is also a giant cube that comes down over the ring and plays Edge’s logo (plus I’m assuming others later throughout the night, otherwise it’s kind of odd).

They lock up into the corner to start before Del Rio starts in on the (previously injured) arm. A backdrop sends Del Rio outside for the big crash but he sends Edge arm first into the barricade. Back in and we hit the armbar before Del Rio bends the arm around the rope. Another armbar is broken up and Del Rio misses a charge, sending him crashing out to the floor. Del Rio is fine enough to grab a super armdrag for two, followed by some basic right hands to the head.

Edge manages a spinwheel kick to leave them both down until Edge is able to grab the flapjack. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Del Rio manages to get the cross armbreaker. Edge is right into the ropes and goes up, where it’s a jumping enziguri to bring him down for two. Clay and Cage get into it on the floor, with Edge grabbing a rollup for two of his own. The spear doesn’t work and Clay sends the bad arm into the post. The cross armbreaker goes on again but Edge switches into the Edgecator as Christian tornado DDTs Clay on the floor. Del Rio goes to the arm for the escape but Edge spears him down to retain at 11:08.

Rating: C+. It’s a fine enough way to go, though Del Rio winning the Royal Rumble and then just losing the title match feels like quite the downgrade. Edge was doing well enough but it felt like a setup for a tag match, which is kind of a weird way to go for the Wrestlemania World Title match. It’s not bad, but felt more like a big Smackdown main event and that’s about all.

Post match Edge and Christian destroy Del Rio’s Rolls Royce. Del Rio cries a lot and the Canadians celebrate as Cole wants them arrested. Then Edge would retire eight days later and vacate the title, because that’s the right way to go rather than putting Del Rio over here.

Cole taunts Lawler before their match later tonight. Oh….can we just not?

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Rhodes is in his Dr. Doom phase here, as Mysterio injured his Dashing face and left him with emotional scars after the facial surgery. This was an outstanding character run for Rhodes and the first time I saw the star power and potential in him. Mysterio’s awesome superhero outfit this year is Captain America, sending Cole into a big rant (as usual around this time). Mysterio strikes away to start and hits a quick top rope hurricanrana.

Rhodes headbutts him down though and puts Mysterio in the ropes for a running headbutt. A running kick to the head sets up the one armed camel clutch but Mysterio is back up with something like a Black Widow. That’s reversed into a Hardcore Holly kick to the rather low stomach, followed by the Alabama Slam for two. Rhodes peels up Mysterio’s tights to expose the knee brace (how Rhodes was injured in the first place) before grabbing a nerve hold.

Mysterio fights up and sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes. Rhodes is sent into the apron, followed by the top rope seated senton back inside. A wheelbarrow suplex drops Mysterio again but he’s right back with a headscissors. The 619 is blocked though and a catapult sends Mysterio throat first into the ropes.

Mysterio is back up with a 619 and pulls Rhodes’ mask off, which he puts on over his own mask. Some running headbutts put Rhodes down and a top rope headbutt gets two. The mask is removed so the referee takes it away, leaving Rhodes to hit Mysterio with his own knee brace (which was taken off somewhere in there). Cross Rhodes finishes Mysterio at 11:58.

Rating: B. These guys worked well together, and I still love the Dr. Doom period for Rhodes. It might not have had the longest legs, but this was the big win that he was needing. This felt like Rhodes getting his revenge and winning one of his biggest matches to date, which I’ll certainly take from both of them. Good stuff here and a nice way to have some hope for Rhodes’ future.

Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella vs. Corre

Kingston is replacing an injured Vladimir Kozlov, who was taken out by the Corre. Marella goes after Slater to start but gets taken down, allowing Show and Kane to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and we get the parade of knockdowns, including a great looking Trouble In Paradise to Barrett. The Cobra and WMD finish Slater at 1:33. Just a “get these people on the show” match.

The Rock meets Eve Torres and lets her feel his arm. Rock talks about the magic of Wrestlemania and offers to create magic with whomever comes around the corner next. It’s Mae Young, who wants the People’s Strudel. Rock makes some jokes about Young being old and Eve escorts her out (with Mae pinching Rock as she leaves). Rock says it couldn’t have been anyone else….and Steve Austin pops in. The fans get quiet as they know this one is important and they seem to show some respect while saying they remember each other at Wrestlemania. Austin coming in was pretty obvious but these two together is always special.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Orton was challenging for the World Title when Punk and his New Nexus interfered to cost him. As it turns out, Punk was mad at Orton for costing him the World Title TWO YEARS EARLIER and was finally getting around to going for revenge. Orton was fine with getting violent and we’re ready to go.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

New Nexus is barred from ringside. Punk goes for Orton’s injured (at Punk’s hands) knee to start but Orton knocks him outside. A dropkick to the steps knocks them into Orton’s knee though and Punk takes over, with a high crossbody getting two back inside. Punk gets cocky and hits a kind of Stunner onto the knee out of the corner, followed by a drop down onto the knee for two.

A top rope double stomp knocks Orton out of the Tree Of Woe for two but the GTS is countered. The RKO is countered as well though as Punk kicks him in the face for two. Punk gets caught up top though and it’s a superplex to bring him back down. Punk is fine enough to wrap the bad knee around the post, followed by the Hartbreaker for a bonus. Back in and Punk ties up the leg again and starts ripping at the bandage, only for Orton to punch him in the face for the break.

Orton starts the comeback but Punk goes right back to the leg and grabs the Anaconda Vice. They finally roll over to the ropes for the break and Punk heads to the apron, where Punk sends him into the post. The hanging DDT drops Punk and Orton gets all angry, only for the leg to give out on the Punt attempt. A desperation RKO attempt is shoved away so Punk tries a springboard…and dives into the RKO (that looked AWESOME) for the pin at 14:45.

Rating: B. This was a perfectly acceptable match with Punk working on the leg for a long time but getting a bit too cocky and walking (or diving) into the RKO. The ending looked outstanding, as Orton’s Wrestlemania RKO’s tend to do, and it came at the end of a good match. Sometimes you need a match between two good hands with some time and that was the situation here. Nice job.

Gene Okerlund is with the Rock and praises him for going well so far. Rock says John Cena’s #1 fan is here and….it’s Peewee Herman. Rock insults him and the payoff is Okerlund in Cena gear. This is as funny as you would expect.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2007:

Abdullah The Butcher (makes sense in Atlanta)
Sunny (yeah about that….)
The Road Warriors (nonsense that they weren’t in already)
Drew Carey (sure why not)
Bob Armstrong (perfectly fine in Georgia)
Jim Duggan (yes his 2×4 has a bowtie)
Shawn Michaels (eh he’s ok)

Oddly no highlight package this year.

We recap Jerry Lawler taking out Jack Swagger and going after Michael Cole, who threw a drink in his face to make Lawler hate him even more.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Let’s get this over with. Booker T. and Jim Ross come out to join commentary, Jack Swagger is with Cole and Steve Austin is guest referee. Cole has been a full on heel for months now and has tormented Lawler for a good while, including costing Lawler the WWE Title. Therefore, it’s time for revenge. Ross comes to the ring but Cole cuts his entrance off to talk about how Ross and Lawler are overrated and over the hill.

Cole says this is his first Wrestlemania match too and after he gets rid of Lawler, Ross will be back to making bad barbecue sauce and Cole will be the new Mr. Wrestlemania. Austin rides out on his ATV and almost runs Swagger down, as only Austin could get away with doing. After the entrances alone take the better part of ever (including Cole hiding in his Cole Mine), we’re FINALLY ready to go. Lawler jumps Swagger to start and sends him into the barricade before going after Cole in the Cole Mine.

Cole immediately begs off and apologizes, with Lawler accepting a handshake. Lawler then pulls the arm through the hole, with Cole’s face getting stuck against the wall in an actually funny moment. Lawler climbs into the box and pounds on Cole before throwing him inside. Swagger gets in a cheap shot and Cole baseball slides Lawler down. The ankle lock has Lawler tapping on the floor, and we begin the meat of the match: Cole badly working on Lawler’s ankle.

Cole tries to stand on the ankle while leaning on the ropes but can only get his toes to reach it. A punt to the ankle is a bit better but Cole can’t get a Vader Bomb to work. Instead he does a bottom rope version for two as JR can’t believe it was a near fall. Cole takes the straps down and puts on the ankle lock but Lawler kicks him away. Lawler stomps him in the corner so Swagger throws in the towel, which Austin doesn’t seem to like.

Austin towels himself off and throws it back before giving Swagger a Stunner. Cole begs Austin for mercy but Lawler punches Cole down and hits the dropkick. The middle rope punch connects but Lawler pulls him up and grabs the ankle lock. Cole taps and Austin makes VERY certain that he’s giving up, slowly asking a few times before FINALLY calling for the bell at a mind numbing 13:48.

Post match beer is consumed, with Booker T. getting in for a Spinarooni and getting Stunned as well. Everyone is happy…..and we get an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager. Since the Raw GM has authority over Wrestlemania, the GM says that Austin overstepped his bounds and Cole wins by DQ. Josh Matthews, who read the email, gets a Stunner of his own. A ticked off Austin rids away on his ATV and Lawler joins JR on commentary.

Rating: -F. Hokey smoke it’s worse than I remember. This is, without a doubt, the worst Wrestlemania match of all time. Where do you even start? Well first of all, the match ran the better part of thirty minutes when you add in the before and after. This should have been “Swagger distracts Lawler, Cole gets in some shots, Lawler Hulks Up, punches, dropkick, piledriver (if Cole would take it) or a flying fist drop, Lawler wins in about four minutes and we celebrate.

Instead, it’s Cole working on the ankle (which is a weird enough thing to do) in a “funny” way for far too long as the joke is run into the ground. That’s in addition to Lawler already tapping on the floor (fair enough as it’s to someone like Swagger, but it didn’t need to be there at all) and making him look like a loser right out of the blocks. The match itself is abysmal, but somehow that’s nowhere close to the biggest problem.

At the end of the day, all of those problems can be weakened a bit with Lawler getting the win in his first Wrestlemania match and wrapping up the Cole arc for good. That wouldn’t be a good way to go, but it would have at least been something position. BUT WAIT! Why do that when we can have Cole not only win, but win again at the next pay per view before Lawler FINALLY got his revenge at the end of May by beating Cole in about three minutes.

But why do that when you can kill the crowd instead? That stupid email sound going off guaranteed that things were about to go from bad to worse and there was no way around it. You could practically see Vince McMahon in an otherwise silent Gorilla Position cackling about how “THAT’S GOOD S*** PAL!” while everyone around him realizes that this was the dumbest thing they could have done. This was the dumbest finish to a Wrestlemania match ever and it’s in the running for worst finish to any match anywhere in history.

We look at Wrestlemania Week. All the charity stuff they do is cool.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. Undertaker beat Shawn Michaels last year and ended his career, so HHH is out for revenge and to end the Streak. That’s about all you need here, plus a Johnny Cash song of course.

Undertaker vs. HHH

No Holds Barred. HHH gets the big entrance behind a wall of shields and has Metallica’s For Whom The Bell Tolls, while Undertaker goes with Johnny Cash’s Ain’t No Grave. The bell rings and HHH pounds him into the corner, only to be thrown over the top for the early crash out to the floor. Undertaker sends him into the steps and then loads up the announcers’ table.

That takes too long so HHH spears him through the Cole Mine and goes back inside, where Undertaker comes back in for the slugout. The jumping clothesline drops HHH but Old School is broken up. They crash out to the floor and Undertaker is whipped into the barricade to bust it (and him) up a bit. HHH loads up the announcers’ table this time but the Pedigree is countered into a backdrop onto the floor. The slow stand up allows Undertaker to hit the big dive and they’re both down for a bit.

Undertaker loads up something onto the steps but gets spinebustered through the other announcers’ table instead. Back in and Undertaker hits a quick chokeslam for two but HHH rams him into the corner. For some reason HHH hammers down right hands and gets caught in the Last Ride. Thankfully he knows what will happen because Undertaker did it to him about ten years ago and slips out.

Another spinebuster gives HHH two and it’s time for the chair. One heck of a chair shots to the back has HHH in trouble, only for him to come back with a sudden Pedigree for two more. For some reason HHH tries to rain down right hands in the corner AGAIN, this time getting caught in the Last Ride for two and leaving Undertaker ticked off in the process. The Tombstone, complete with tongue, gets two and Undertaker grabs the chair.

Another Tombstone onto the chair is broken up and HHH hits a DDT onto the chair to leave them both down. They very slowly pull themselves up and it’s another Pedigree for another near fall. Another Pedigree gets another two and they’re both down again. Back up and HHH hits eight straight chair shots to the back but doesn’t cover, seemingly out of exhaustion. Or dramatic intensity.

Somehow Undertaker gets back up and it’s a chair to the head to knock him back down. That’s only good for a two so HHH hits his own Tombstone for two. This is treated like the biggest kickout ever and…yeah I still don’t buy it. I remember watching this live and actually saying out loud “you’re not Kane, that won’t work” and not being surprised at all by the kickout. With nothing else working, HHH grabs the sledgehammer but gets pulled into Hell’s Gate. The hold stays on for a good while and HHH drops the hammer before wearily tapping out at 29:24.

Rating: B+. Here’s the thing: it might not have the drama of the Michaels matches (it doesn’t) and it might not have the action of the Michaels matches (it doesn’t) but it’s still a heck of a fight. They didn’t bother with the wrestling side of things here and instead just beat the living daylights out of each other.

The problem here though is that despite everything that Undertaker went through, I never really bought the Streak being in jeopardy. It was more “how much is he going to survive” rather than “how much can he survive” and that brings it down a notch. Still though, it’s quite the fight and set up the much better rematch the following year.

Post match HHH is able to get out on his own and Undertaker slowly follows…but falls down on the way out of the ring. A golf cart has to come out and take Undertaker to the back, which is quite the exit for the winner while HHH walks out. Undertaker wouldn’t be back until January to set up the rematch.

John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Vickie Guerrero is here with the villains. While it isn’t mentioned anywhere here, this is the result of Snooki gust appearing on Raw and arguing with Guerrero, who helped Laycool beat Stratus that night. Snooki helped Stratus fight and the men were added shortly thereafter, setting this up.

It’s a brawl before the bell with Ziggler and Morrison having to break it up, with Ziggler earning a slap from Snooki. Stratus chops at McCool to start but she’s right back with a knockdown. The Faithbreaker is countered into a faceplant and Stratus slugs away some more. The Stratusphere is blocked and they crash to the floor, where Stratus has to cut off an invading Layla.

Stratus hits a Chick Kick on McCool and Morrison knocks Ziggler outside, setting up the Starship Pain to the floor. Snooki comes in for a handspring elbow and cartwheels over for a falling splash and the pin on McCool at 3:17. Snooki might have been in the ring for thirty seconds, which I believe is about thirty seconds more than Layla was legal.

Rating: D+. This was designed to have Snooki and WWE appear on various Hollywood shows and TMZ. That’s all it was going to be and while Snooki seemed to be putting in the effort, it wasn’t exactly much to see. Then again they were only out there for a few minutes so it couldn’t get that bad. Just not something that held much interest outside of the celebrity involvement, which is acceptable enough.

Tonight’s entertainment record for the building: 71,617. This is about 9,000 lower than a college football game, which isn’t entertainment and WWE isn’t a sport, at least for the sake of their record this time around.

We recap the Raw World Title match, which is one of the better videos WWE has ever done. Miz is standing with his back to the camera watching a bunch of monitors, showing videos jumping between clips of classic main eventers and Miz’s slow rise up WWE. Eventually he won the World Title (hi Miz Girl) and we see his face, with the song kicking in to say that he can’t stop now and you can keep hating him.

Miz talks about how you can hate him for what he is, which he’d rather be over something he isn’t. Like him or not, he’s the face of the WWE and he’s not stopping. Here’s the thing: no, Miz isn’t an all time star in the ring. No, he isn’t the best heel ever. No, he doesn’t feel like he belongs in the main event of Wrestlemania. The problem with that? He made it here, after starting with the wrestling equivalent of American Idol.

Miz put in the work and got SO MUCH FURTHER than anyone would have ever believed possible. That deserves all kinds of praise and while he’s a third wheel here, he’s defending the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania. Not bad for a guy who wasn’t a wrestler or whatever the insults are about him this week.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

Miz, with Alex Riley, is defending and Cena got his shot by winning the Elimination Chamber. As a bonus, Miz and Riley walk through a series of balloons that spell out AWESOME and you can tell Miz is fired up. Cena’s Wrestlemania entrance is being sung out by a gospel choir, complete with a prayer over clips of Cena growing up and eventually becoming the huge star.

After the Big Match Intros, Cena shoves him down and grabs a hiptoss before we calm down a bit. Miz is able to knock him into the corner and stomp away, followed by the running corner clothesline. Cena grabs a gutwrench suplex and the top rope Fameasser for two each, only to miss a charge into the corner. Miz kicks him down for two and avoids the flying shoulder to send Cena outside.

Back in and Cena fires off the shoulders, which actually connect this time, followed by the Shuffle. It’s too early for the AA though and Miz’s short DDT gets two. A turnbuckle pad is pulled off so the referee replaces it, meaning a Cena small package doesn’t get a count. The pad is still not on but Cena blocks a ram into the buckle and grabs the STF. Miz makes the rope so Riley sends Cena into the buckle, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale for two.

The referee gets bumped, just before Cena hits the AA, meaning there’s still no count. Riley comes in with a briefcase (he has a briefcase) shot to give Miz two so Miz grabs the briefcase, only to hit Riley by mistake. They go outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade. That’s not enough as Cena tackles Miz over another barricade, with Miz’s head bouncing off the concrete (yes he had a concussion and no he doesn’t remember anything about the match). They’re both down and it’s a double countout at 14:40.

The fans are not pleased but here is the Rock…who is cut off by an email from the Raw General Manager. JR and Lawler both offer to read the email but Rock has them sit down. Rock reads the email, which starts with “I think” but Rock doesn’t seem to care. As the host of this show, Rock is restarting this match, No DQ (Lawler should be ticked off as Rock didn’t get involved earlier but we can just add that to the dumb things about that mess). The bell rings, Cena throws Miz back inside, Rock gives Cena a Rock Bottom, Miz retains at 19:40 total.

Rating: D-. And no. They were trying with some of the shenanigans to get Miz in there, but it was a stupid finish, despite the legitimate concussion. Have Miz get disqualified for cheating or something, but come up with something a bit better than this. The ending didn’t help either, as having Rock just come out and restart the match came out of nowhere, though I guess it’s better than the GM overturning a match. Miz was trying but the chemistry wasn’t there and the ending was awful, so there was only so much they could do, which didn’t wind up working.

Post match Miz is clearly somewhere over Pluto but Rock goes in to beat him up anyway. The spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow and Rock celebrates to end the show. Cena wouldn’t be happy and the next night, Rock vs. Cena would be set up for a year later, which they actually stuck to, much to my shock, and yeah the build was incredible, despite a not so great start.

The long highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C-. There are parts of this show that work, with Mysterio vs. Rhodes, Punk vs. Orton and of course the HHH vs. Undertaker match, but that’s not enough to overcome the gaping holes that are the main event and Lawler vs. Cole. Rock didn’t do much here, save for the stuff at the end and that’s not exactly enough. The show isn’t the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it has two really big problems and those are enough to bring it down. Just watch some selected matches here and move on, because it’s not a great Wrestlemania.

Ratings Comparison

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: C+

Battle Royal

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2026 Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: B

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Red: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2026 Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: D
2026 Redo: -F

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B+

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2026 Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: D-
2026 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2026 Redo: C-

Yeah pretty much the same as last time, which is a rarity.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
America The Beautiful: Fantasia

So last year at Wrestlemania XXV, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker had one of the best matches ever. That means it’s time for a rematch, with Michaels career on the line. That is more than big enough for a special match, to the point where it makes John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title feel that less important. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Prime is out within seconds, followed by Beretta and Croft at the same time. Henry launches Chavo out but then gets tossed by Khali. A bunch of people get together to toss Khali before Cryme Tyme gets rid of Gallows. Then Shad tosses JTG because that’s how battle royals work. Regal and Finlay slug it out for old times’ sake before everyone breaks off for fights of their own.

Masters keeps putting people in the Masterlock and is eliminated for not being that bright. Kozlov eliminates Kidd and Hart-Smith before being tossed out as well. Funaki, Goldust, Regal and Shad are out in a row, with Reks following them. Santino starts using the Cobra and thankfully is tossed out by Finlay.

Archer gets rid of Yang and is quickly dropkicked out by Tatsu (Striker continues to try and get “The Poison Fist Of The Pacific Rim” over as a nickname for Tatsu. This is because Striker is really annoying.). Knox gets to clean house for a bit but cue Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to get in a shillelagh shot. The Tadpole Splash hits Knox and Finlay tosses Carlito. Ryder eliminates Finlay and Knox at the same time, leaving Tatsu to kick Ryder out at 8:43.

Rating: C. It’s a battle royal to get a bunch of people on the show. They didn’t waste time here and it gave the fans something to see during the pre-show, which is about all you can ask for here. Tatsu was someone who seemed like he was ready to move forward more than once but it just never came together. It’s not like this was some big win but he was as good of a winner as you could have had.

Fantasia sings America The Beautiful. Not well but she does sing it.

The opening video talks about what it means to be at Wrestlemania and how important it is to be here. This is the big chance and the stars will seize it.

The set has something of an ancient pyramid theme with another over the ring, both of which look cool. If nothing else, I’ve always liked I Made It.

Tag Team Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

ShoMiz is defending and there isn’t much of a story here, save for Truth and Morrison winning a triple threat match to get the title shot. Miz and Morrison start things off with Morrison getting the better of things. Truth comes in with a top rope legdrop for two into a WHAT’S UP. It’s off to Show, who sends Truth flying with a fall away slam. What looks to be a Vader Bomb is broken up via a Morrison kick to the head, followed by Morrison’s knee to Miz’s head. Show breaks up Starship Pain though, leaving Truth’s dive to Show to fail miserably. Back in and Show KO Punches Morrison for the pin to retain at 3:25.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it really would have been better off as a pre-show match. They didn’t even get four minutes and there is only so much you can do with the amount of time you might get on a regular TV show. ShoMiz was a fairly forgettable team and while it was nice to have the titles on the card, it’s not like this was anything remotely memorable.

Video on Wrestlemania Week, which always looks cool.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Legacy implodes as Orton has had it with the two of them screwing up and turned on them, setting up this for some revenge. DiBiase and Rhodes go after him to start and it doesn’t go well early on. Orton gets smart by dividing and conquering but walks into a dropkick from DiBiase. The double teaming is on with both of them taking turns to punch Orton while the other holds him back. There’s a double suplex to put Orton down but he fights out of the corner (the fans approve).

The comeback doesn’t last long though as DiBiase hits a clothesline, setting up a High/Low to put Orton down again. Rhodes snaps off an Alabama Slam for two and the save from DiBiase means it’s time for the young hooligans to fight. Orton fights up and sends DiBiase to the floor, followed by a snap powerslam back inside. There’s the backbreaker to Rhodes but DiBiase pulls Orton outside. Rhodes’ dive only hits DiBiase so Orton hits the double hanging DDT. With DiBiase down on the floor, Orton Punts Rhodes and then RKO’s an invading DiBiase for the pin at 9:02.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of drama here once DiBiase and Rhodes got in their offense. Orton looked like he was toying with them at the end, which was part of the reason why he was turning into a popular star all over again. This was about Orton smashing through his former lackeys and showing them who the real star was, which he did in quite the destruction by the end.

Vickie Guerrero and company are ready for their ten woman tag. Jillian Hall comes in for a song and whole thing turns into a Slim Jim commercial, with Santino Marella having a bite to change Jillian. First she’s Mae Young, then Gene Okerlund (yes in the same dress) and finally Melina. Wacky….I guess you could call it fun? This isn’t on the Network due to the music.

Money In The Bank

Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Evan Bourne, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy, MVP, Shelton Benjamin

This is the last Wrestlemania MITB match before it would go on to get its own show this same year. It’s the usual melee to start with almost everyone going outside. The first ladder is sent inside about thirty seconds in but a bunch of people stop to go after McIntyre rather than climbing. Almost everyone tries to go up but gets stopped, with Kane chokeslamming Bourne over the top for a crash onto more people.

Swagger and Hardy get trapped behind a ladder in the corner and Christian monkey flips Kingston into the ladder onto them. Ziggler breaks it up and makes the climb but MVP pulls him right back down. Kingston hammers on Kane in the corner, earning himself a powerbomb onto a ladder. Benjamin goes up this time so it’s Swagger spearing him with another ladder to break it up.

Swagger gets caught under a ladder so Hardy and Christian hit him with a ladder each. One of the ladders is bridged into another, with Bourne kicking Christian off the bridged version. Air Bourne hits Christian and Bourne goes up, only to be cut off by Hardy. Swagger cuts Hardy off though and shoves him onto the bridged ladder for the huge crash. Shelton and MVP go up but come crashing down, leaving everyone on the floor for a bit.

Kane goes up but has to cut off Ziggler, including a chokeslam onto the ladder. With Kane distracted, Kofi comes back in to kick him in the head but the only ladder available is broken. Kofi gets crazy creative by using the pieces like stilts and jumping up the rungs, only to have McIntyre make the save.

McIntyre goes up but Hardy shoves the ladder over for the big crotching on top. It’s Matt going up this time until Christian is there as well but they both have to knock Kane down. That’s not enough for Christian, who hits the reverse DDT off the ladder to plant Matt again. Christian goes up again, only to have Swagger make the save and pull the case down for the win at 13:29.

Rating: B-. It was a wild match as usual but there is only so much you can do with ten people in a match trying to get in as much time as possible. The stilts spot was very unique and stood out more than anything else, though the rest was little more than the usual big spots and crashes. Swagger winning is a surprise, but WWE was trying something new and that’s often a good idea.

We look back at last night’s Hall Of Fame ceremony.

The Class of 2010 is introduced:

Stu Hart (represented by eight relatives)
Wendi Richter (seems very happy to be there)
Mad Dog Vachon (sadly in a wheelchair)
Antonio Inoki (not the strongest reaction)
Bob Uecker (nice reception)
Gorgeous George (represented by his former wife)
Ted DiBiase (by far the strongest reaction)

Sweet goodness that Hall of Fame theme is always awesome.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. After debuting on Raw and winning the WWE Title within a few weeks, Sheamus was knocked out of the Elimination Chamber by HHH, costing him the title. Sheamus then went on to talk about how much he loved watching HHH while growing up. Then Sheamus laid him out, which HHH liked because it’s what he did when he went after the Ultimate Warrior in 1996 (and yes they explained how badly it went). That plus a need for revenge makes for a Wrestlemania match.

HHH vs. Sheamus

HHH’s entrance goes on for a good while, as you might have expected. Sheamus drives him into the corner to start but HHH hits him in the face. It’s way too early for the Pedigree though as Sheamus bails out to the floor. Back in and a suplex drops Sheamus again, setting up the knee drop for one.

HHH goes old school (shocking I know) as we hit the Figure Four, with Sheamus going straight to the ropes. The fight goes outside with HHH being whipped into the steps, followed by the (yet to be named) Irish Curse back inside. An ax handle to the head cuts HHH off again and Sheamus grabs the armbar.

We’ll make that a chinlock but HHH suplexes his way to freedom, sending Striker into a FAR too long….whatever you call what he does. HHH grabs a DDT and they’re both down, followed by the expected slugout. There’s the running knee into the facebuster for two and a neckbreaker drops Sheamus for the same.

The yet to be named Brogue Kick misses so HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be reversed into the Brogue Kick for two. The fans are rather behind HHH, who fights out of the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) and gets two more off a spinebuster. Sheamus rolls out to the apron and manages another Brogue Kick…but takes too long and gets Pedigreed out of nowhere for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This is the type of match that will work almost every single time as you had two big strong guys beating the fire out of each other until the ending. That’s the kind of brawl that both of them know how to do (though Sheamus would get WAY better later on) and it worked here. That being said, Sheamus is the up and comer and loses to HHH, which seems to be a bit counterproductive, but this would hardly be the first time that happened.

We recap CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio. After Mysterio cost Punk a spot in Money In The Bank, Punk scared the heck out of Mysterio’s daughter Aliyah. They then traded various attacks before Punk creepily sang Happy Birthday to Aliyah, which was too far. Now it’s time for their fight, with Mysterio having to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has the Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows and Serena) with him and talks about how these 70,000 people here are going to drink or try pills to make their problems go away. He can be their savior and lead them to a better place because he chooses to be drug free and better than everyone here. Mysterio is one of the Na’vi from Avatar, which isn’t quite the same as the superhero gear he tends to use.

Gallows offers an early distraction and Punk gets to stomp away in the corner before tying Mysterio in the Tree of Woe. A missed charge results in a crotching against the post though and they head to the floor…where Punk drops him face first onto the steps. Back in and Punk hammers away for two and we’re already in the chinlock. Mysterio fights out like he’s a top star who was in a chinlock and hits the springboard seated senton.

Punk snaps off a powerslam for two before hitting one heck of a kick to the head for the same. Four more near falls have Punk rather frustrated until Mysterio is up with a springboard moonsault DDT for two of his own. Mysterio’s frog splash misses to give Punk two more, meaning it’s time for even more frustration. Back up and Mysterio loads him up for the 619 but has to take out the Society. Not that it matters as the 619 into the springboard splash finishes Punk at 6:30.

Rating: C+. Another match that was good but they didn’t have the time to do very much. It had the stakes and they work well together, but there is only so much they can do when they have less than seven minutes. It makes perfect sense to have the loudmouth holier than thou heel get what’s coming to him and who better to do that than one of the resident superheroes?

We recap Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon. Hart returned after thirteen years of bitterness after the Montreal Screwjob and of course Vince McMahon couldn’t let it to. Hart wanted to fight Vince at Wrestlemania but got turned down, only to have his leg broken in a car wreck in the parking lot. Then Vince agreed to fight him….and then Hart revealed he was gold bricking, because that’s just what Hart does.

Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart

No Holds Barred. Hold on though as Vince grabs a mic and says he’s hired a bunch of lumberjacks, in the form of various members of the Hart Family. As a bonus, Bret’s brother Bruce can be guest referee! Bret isn’t overly shocked and says what’s done is done. If there is one thing about the Harts though, it’s that they got paid up front and the money is already in the bank.

If there is one thing he’s learned from the Montreal Screwjob, it’s there’s nothing better than a good double cross. The Harts, including Bret, are united, and tonight is the night that Bret screws Vince. The bell rings and Bret punches him down and chokes in the corner, with Vince bailing to the floor. That means the Harts can make it even worse, including a slap from Natalya (Striker: “Best luck in your future endeavors Natalya.”).

The Hart Dynasty hits a top rope Hart Attack to the floor and it’s time to throw Vince back inside. Bret works on the leg, which sends Vince outside again. This time he comes back in with tire iron but Bret knocks it away again and takes it away. Bret hammers away with the tire iron…and then does it some more…and more, to the point where unless Bret has the strength of a two year old, Vince should be in a coma.

The Sharpshooter is teased but Bret lets it go so he can use the tire iron again. Some low blows have Vince down again and let’s get a chair in there too. Bret sits down and then hits some hard chair shots to Vince’s back. The chair is bent up so Bret finally (and I do mean finally) grabs the Sharpshooter for the win at 11:08.

Rating: C. Ok so I’ve called this an A+ before because I love what they did with Vince being absolutely destroyed and not getting in a single bit of offense. This was never supposed to be anything but a massacre until the Sharpshooter…but my goodness how long did they go with the tire iron/chair shots? The thing here is that this is really only a match in name only so I’m not going to call it bad, but Bret couldn’t have mixed it up with some different stuff other than hitting him over and over with the same stuff?

A big Hart celebration ensues.

Wrestlemania XXVII is coming to Atlanta, Georgia.

Official attendance: 72,219.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Edge for the Smackdown World Title. They were partners last year but Edge tore his Achilles. Edge came back at the Royal Rumble (at #29 in a great surprise) and won, setting up his title shot here. For some reason the build for this match involved Edge saying “spear” over and over until it lost all meaning.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending. They start slowly with Jericho grabbing a headlock (Jericho: “Ask him!”) but Edge is right back with some running shoulders. Jericho is back with some stompings in the corner before sending Edge outside. That’s good for a long count before Edge comes back in and gets chinlocked. Jericho slowly stomps and slaps away, which takes long enough that Edge manages to send him shoulder first into the post.

A running shoulder sends Jericho into the announcers’ table and there’s a clothesline off the apron. They head back inside and hopefully pick up the energy a bit here. Back in and Edge gets two off a super gordbuster, followed by a middle rope sunset flip for the same. Jericho goes simple by kicking him in the head but the Codebreaker is blocked. The spear is countered into a quick Walls but Edge slips out.

The Lionsault misses and Edge is right back up with the Edge O Matic for two. Jericho’s enziguri gets two more but so does the Impaler as things slow back down a bit. Jericho mixes things up a bit with a middle rope forearm to the back of the head (Edge was nice enough to look over his shoulder before Jericho jumped), only to have his own spear cut off by a big boot.

The real spear is countered into a Codebreaker for a rather delayed two. Jericho starts going after the ankle before switching to the Walls. We’ll make that a half Walls to stay on the bad ankle but the rope is grabbed. Edge’s rollup for two is also grabbed and they crash out to the floor for a breather. The frustrated Jericho grabs the belt and the referee gets distracted, allowing Jericho’s belt shot to get two. The Codebreaker to a limping Edge retains the title at 15:47.

Rating: B. This was good but it never hit that next level and it made things kind of disappointing. Edge only teased the spear once and never got a big near fall. I was expecting something a lot more epic than we got here and that just didn’t happen. There were some shenanigans due to the belt shot but this needed to be more intense and violent given what Edge was saying coming in.

Post match Jericho goes after Edge again but Edge hits a spear off the announcers’ table and through the barricade as the feud must continue.

We look at the pre-show battle royal.

Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse/Vickie Guerrero vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James

Get the women on the show special. Vickie bumps Gail to start and turns around to pose, only to run into Phoenix. The non-Vickie team takes turns beating on Vickie in the corner, who asks if Kelly knows who she is. That earns Vickie a kick to the ribs with McCool making the save. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of finishers, leaving Vickie crying in the corner as Beth comes up behind her. McCool makes another save and the Hog Splash (Cole’s name) finishes Kelly at 3:29.

Rating: D. Oh what else were you expecting here? A bunch of the people barely did anything, there were a bunch of Vickie fat jokes, Lawler drooled over most of them and Striker continues to try to make everything sound like the most important moment ever because it gets people paying attention to him. Terrible match and little more than a way for Vickie to keep her heat.

We recap John Cena challenging Batista for the Raw World Title. Cena got the title back in the Elimination Chamber but Vince McMahon allowed Batista an immediate title shot. Now it’s time for the fair rematch, with Batista talking about being tired of Cena being the star when they got big at the same time. You can pretty much ignore all of those details though and just go with “It’s John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania.”

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista is defending and Cena’s big entrance is from the United States Air Force Honor Guard Drill Team. We get the Big Match Intros before they fight over a lockup. Batista grabs a headlock before running Cena over, only to have Cena come back with a headlock of his own. That’s broken up and Batista sends him hard into the corner for the running clothesline to the back of the head.

Some cranking on the neck has Cena down but he manages a release suplex (that didn’t look great) and the bulldog connects for two. It’s way too early for the AA though as Batista reverses into a DDT for two of his own. A chinlock with a bodyscissors keeps Cena down for a bit, only to have him power up and start slugging away. Batista sticks with what has been working by grabbing a neckbreaker for two more.

The front chancery keeps Cena in trouble until he powers up again. The STF goes on out of nowhere but Batista grabs the rope like a bad villain should. Batista is fine enough to hit a spear for two before loading Cena up top. The superplex attempt is blocked and Cena hits a super Five Knuckle Shuffle of all things.

Batista gets back up and hits his namesake Bomb for two, giving us a great shocked face. Back up Cena counters another Batista Bomb into the AA (toss variation) for two, leaving them both down. Cena goes up but dives into a spinebuster (how Batista injured Cena’s neck a few years ago), only to have the Batista Bomb reversed into the STF (with Cena giving him a LONG talk) for the tap at 13:29.

Rating: B. It’s good and they were getting to the big stuff but I was expecting longer than just shy of fourteen minutes. Cena getting the title back is the right way to go for him though as he can put someone else over rather soon. Batista was not quite what he used to be but these two instantly make for an epic feel. Not a classic match, though they didn’t do anything wrong with the setup and finish going rather well.

Cena poses with a guy in a WE HATE CENA shirt for a funny moment.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker. Shawn lost to him the previous year before, leaving Shawn obsessed with having to get the win. It is so big that Shawn is willing to put his career on the line against the Streak, saying he doesn’t have a career if he can’t beat the Undertaker. Not that it matters as this feels absolutely huge and you know it’s going to go well.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ. The entrances are absolutely epic and you know that you’re about to see something special. They also take their sweet time getting to the ring and it builds up even more, with Shawn staring at Undertaker the entire way to the ring. Undertaker charges at him to start but Shawn is right there with the chops. Shawn gets flipped into the corner, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Old School connects but Undertaker comes up limping a bit. The chokeslam is loaded up but the knee gives out, with Shawn wisely kicking away at the leg. The Tombstone is broken up as well so Shawn starts in on the shoulder, which is a bit of an odd choice given UNDERTAKER IS LIMPING.

Undertaker slips out but has to block a quick superkick attempt as things reset a bit. The logic kicks in as Shawn starts going after the knee in the corner but Undertaker clotheslines him to the floor. The Taker Dive is loaded up but Shawn comes back in to take out the knee in a rather smart move. It’s too early for the Figure Four and they head outside, where Shawn is rammed back first into the post. The apron legdrop connects but Shawn goes after the leg again to take over.

Now the Figure Four goes on until Undertaker sits up. Shawn: “No.” And Undertaker goes back down. Well that was polite of him. Undertaker turns it over so Shawn wisely lets go and they take a breather. Back up and they strike it out until Undertaker grabs a quick chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is escaped again though and Shawn grabs the ankle lock, complete with a grapevine.

Undertaker finally uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom so Shawn sends him outside. A springboard spinning crossbody is pulled out of the air so Undertaker hit the Tombstone on the floor to knock Shawn silly. Medics come out to check on Shawn but Undertaker isn’t having that and throws him back inside for two, meaning frustration is setting in. This might have more of an impact if MATT STRIKER WOULD SHUT UP for once, but instead he needs to keep shouting what he thinks sound like highlight reel worthy lines.

The Last Ride is loaded up but Undertaker’s knee gives out and they crash down, with Shawn getting two off a faceplant. Shawn’s top rope elbow only hits raised knees, which have Undertaker in even more pain. Hell’s Gate goes on but Shawn flips over into a rollup for two. Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere for two but another attempt is countered into a heck of a Last Ride for two more.

They go outside and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. That takes too long though and it’s a superkick to knock Undertaker onto the table instead. In something that couldn’t possibly go wrong, Shawn goes up and moonsaults down onto Undertaker, mostly hitting his feet/lower legs, which does tie into everything so far. Shawn realizes he has a chance and throws Undertaker inside and hits a clean Sweet Chin Music (that has to be the fourth or fifth) for two, with Cole telegraphing the kickout by screaming that Streak was over.

Another superkick is countered into a chokeslam but Undertaker can barely move, let alone cover. Instead it’s a Tombstone (with tongue) for two and we get another stunned face. Shawn can’t get up so Undertaker loads up the throat slit….but stops. Undertaker tells him to stay down as Shawn pulls himself up and then slaps Undertaker in the face, admitting that he can’t do it and basically telling Undertaker to finish him off. The jumping Tombstone does just that at 24:00.

Rating: A+. What do you want me to say here? This is an absolute masterpiece and one of the best matches either of them have ever had if not their best ever. The leg stuff played a role throughout until Shawn gave it everything he had but just couldn’t do it in the end. It told an amazing story with some great action, including multiple near falls where you could buy it being over. It’s better than I remember it being and one of the best main events in Wrestlemania history.

Undertaker needs the ropes to get to his feet and Shawn finally gets up. Undertaker says something to him we can’t see and they hug before Undertaker leaves him alone in the ring. Shawn gets to soak in the THANK YOU SHAWN chants before doing the long walk up the ramp. Shawn: “I’m gonna drive my kids crazy in three weeks!” He looks back again and walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a weird show as there isn’t much that is Wrestlemania worthy. Edge vs. Jericho is just good, Money in the Bank is its usual ok self, HHH vs. Sheamus is a slightly above average power brawl and Batista vs. Cena wasn’t even fifteen minutes long. Those are the high points though, as the rest of the show is pretty much mediocre/forgettable to bad. That doesn’t make for a great Wrestlemania, but this show is usually pretty well remembered.

That’s because of the main event and my goodness does it deserve the praise it receives. I’ve seen it a few times now and it pulled me in again with how epic of a showdown they were having here. It felt like a Wrestlemania main event match and you do not get those very often. That match alone makes this Wrestlemania worth seeing, though I would definitely recommend fast forwarding a good bit of the midcard, as it was quite the miss in multiple places.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: C-

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: C

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: B+
2024 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: B-

That’s quite a drop for the overall rating but some of the lower matches just don’t hold up as well.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 7, 2008
Location: Spokane Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re done with No Mercy and Matt Hardy is still the ECW Champion, having survived Mark Henry. The following night didn’t go so well for Hardy, who was pinned by Kane in a tag match on Raw. That could open up a few different options and we could be seeing more of Kane around here. Or it means nothing. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Finlay/Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox/Jack Swagger

Hornswoggle is here too. Finlay and Knox start things off with Finlay going straight to the elbow to the head. The running seated senton allows the tag off to Dreamer and a bulldog drops Knox again. Swagger gets knocked to the floor for a clothesline from the apron but Knox is back up with a pump kick.

We take a break and come back with Knox’s suplex getting two on Dreamer and a cheap shot knocking Finlay off the apron. Swagger comes in and misses the Vader Bomb, meaning Dreamer can come in to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s a Tadpole Splash into a shillelagh shot to give Finlay the pin on Knox.

Rating: C+. Totally standard tag match here and that’s a fine way to go. Well, as far as you could get with Knox involved. He’s just turned into such a nothing name around here but the show is in such a need for bodies that he has to stick around. Finlay is also fine for a midcard name and that’s all he needs to be, making him a fine example of how to use a veteran of his status.

It’s October so Tiffany is a devil and Teddy Long is a vampire (I think). Jamie Noble comes in and says he’s dressed as the greatest wrestler of all time. Tiffany: “You’re dressed as Shawn Michaels!” Anyway Tony Atlas and Mark Henry interrupt, with Noble making the mistake of standing up to Henry. A match is made.

The Boogeyman is coming back. Uh…good? I think? They need people, but I’m not sure how far he’ll get them.

Mark Henry vs. Jamie Noble

Henry runs him over to start and steps on his back for some loud screaming. Another knockdown has Noble in more trouble but he avoids a charge in the corner. The right hands in the corner look to set up a high crossbody, which is pulled into the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: C. Just a squash here as we establish that Henry is in fact still a monster. That was pretty much covered last night on Raw but they needed to do it here as well. Thankfully it didn’t last long, as there was no reason for it to go more than a few minutes. Henry knows how to smash through people and he did it well here.

Post match the beatdown stays on so Matt Hardy runs in with a Twist Of Fate. Unfortunately it’s to Tony Atlas, leaving Henry to wreck Hardy.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk/Ricky Ortiz/Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne vs. Miz/John Morrison/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase Jr.

Manu is here with the villains. Rhodes and Bourne start things going as Striker actually explains the rules of an eight man tag. I…sure why not, as it’s not hurting anything. Bourne starts in on the arm and it’s quickly off to Punk to stay on said arm. Morrison comes in and gets taken into the corner, where Ortiz drops a leg. It’s back to Bourne for a running hurricanrana and the villains are cleared out as we take a break.

We come back with DiBiase chinlocking Bourne, apparently thanks to Manu interfering during the break (he has to do something). A big clothesline cuts off Bourne’s comeback and Morrison comes in for the armbar. Miz grabs a cravate and the rapid fire tags continue with Rhodes hammering away.

It’s already back to Miz for a front facelock, with Bourne reversing into a small package for two. Bourne is up without much trouble though and Punk comes back in to strike away. Everything breaks down (yep) and it’s time for the series of dives. Manu’s distraction saves Morrison from the GTS though and DiBiase knocks Punk into the Moonlight Drive to give Morrison the pin.

Rating: B-. The rapid fire tags helped a bit here as it let the people get in there rather than waiting around as much. At the same time, the less Ortiz does the better, as there is just nothing there. I know he has the big hair and the towel and all that, but that’s not enough to carry him. Hopefully WWE realizes that soon, as it’s getting harder to put up with him. Finally, my goodness Punk has fallen rather quickly after losing the World Title, which tends to be the case too often with MITB title winners.

Overall Rating: C+. ECW continues to exist, with the title feud kind of on hold this week and guest stars being there to fill in the gaps. As usual, I’m not sure how much this needs to be a regular hour long show, but WWE has done dumber things before. The main event was ok, though it’s not worth going out of your way to see. Just wait for Smackdown, as is often the case around here.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

It’s another show posted to the WWE Vault and that means it is worth a look. The big feud on Raw is HHH vs. Randy Orton and his Legacy stable and that means it is time for a showdown in the Rumble. Other than that, Edge is trying to get the Smackdown World Title back from Jeff Hardy. Let’s get to it.

We’re in Detroit so naturally there is a car theme.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Hardy backs him into the corner as Striker explains what you need to do to win a title in WWE. Good information but Striker manages to sound annoying no matter what. They head outside with Hardy hitting a hard right hand, followed by a clothesline back inside.

We settle down to Swagger easily wrestling him to the mat, followed by a Gator Roll into a hammerlock. That’s broken up and Hardy grabs his running bulldog out of the corner for two. Swagger runs him over again though and we’re right back to cranking on the arm. A clothesline is blocked and Swagger kicks the bad arm (that’s smart) for two before working on it again.

Back up and Hardy gets smart by using the good arm for a clothesline. Another corner clothesline and bulldog get two on Swagger, setting up the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck for the same. Swagger goes after the arm again and takes Hardy up top, only to get knocked backwards for a not very elevated moonsault to give Hardy two. Back up and the Twist Of Fate is blocked, with Hardy being sent shoulder first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title at 10:28.

Rating: B-. The match was good enough but Swagger really isn’t that interesting. He’s a bigger guy and the Swagger Bomb looked good, but that’s about all he had going for him a lot of the time. Hardy was dropping back down the card and having Swagger beat him here wasn’t exactly a great sign for his career.

Hardy gets a slow walk out and sits on the steps. What a mopey Matt.

Randy Orton arrived earlier today and people weren’t exactly happy with him. He’s rather violent you see.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Phoenix is defending and has Santino Marella with her. Melina gets thrown down a few times to start so she tries striking away. That earns her another knockdown, only for Melina to start working on the arm. Phoenix isn’t having that and powers her up into the air for a drop onto the turnbuckle.

Something like an ankle lock works on Melina’s recent injury, but Phoenix cranks on it so hard that she makes Melina kick herself in the back of the head (that’s rather nuts when you think about it). With that broken up (and probably some leg issues), Melina fights out and gets two off a sunset flip, followed by…I’m not sure what happened but it looked like Melina dove into an atomic drop. Back up and Phoenix seems to try the Glam Slam but gets reversed into a cradle for the pin to make Melina champion at 5:57.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than what you would see from a lot of the women’s division around this point and that shouldn’t be a surprise. That being said, the only thing that really stood out here was Melina kicking herself in the back of the head (not something you often say). Good enough match here, but the women’s division was only starting to get it together again.

We recap JBL challenging John Cena for the Raw world Title. JBL wants the title and, because the economy was a big issue at this point, Shawn Michaels is broke and working for JBL as a result. Basically JBL is offering to pay off Michaels’ debts in exchange for helping him win the title. Michaels hates everything he has to do at the moment but does it because he has no other choice. As usual, JBL is only so interesting and is more surrounded by interesting people than anything else.

JBL tells Michaels that if he wins the title tonight, he’ll pay Michaels off in full and their arrangement is over. Then JBL leaves and Michaels runs into the Undertaker, who says it can be H*** getting to Heaven. And there’s your tease for the Wrestlemania masterpiece.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and has Shawn Michaels in his corner. As usual, Cena just looks weird with the Big Gold Belt. Cena headlocks him down to start but JBL reverses into one of his own as they’re starting fairly slowly. Back up and Cena elbows him for two, with JBL bailing to the floor for a chat with Michaels. Cena grabs a bulldog into the Throwback for two and they go outside, where JBL sends him into the steps for two back inside.

The pace slows WAY down (shocking I know) and JBL grabs a chinlock, followed by a side slam for two. Cena gets knocked outside for a whip into the barricade as JBL on offense continues to just kill any match. A superplex is broken up and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser for two as the comeback is on. The AA is broken up so Cena pulls him into the STF, leaving Michaels looking….we’ll go with sleepy.

Michaels touches the ropes so Cena lets it go, only to be kicked out to the floor for a crash. Back in and the Clothesline From JBL gets two but the referee gets bumped (it was a matter of time). Michaels gets in, superkicks JBL, stares a lot, and then superkicks Cena as well. He puts JBL on Cena and goes to leave, seemingly disgusted with himself. Another referee runs in to count two so Cena gets up and hits the AA to retain at 15:28.

Rating: C-. This is a case where the story works well on paper, but it’s just not that interesting. A good bit of that hangs on JBL, who could talk well enough and played an effective role, but he could not hang in the ring. The Michaels part was basically kicking the story to the next month and that’s only so good. Not much to see here, as even with Michaels, JBL felt like more of an annoyance to Cena than any kind of a threat.

We recap Jeff Hardy defending the Smackdown World Title against Edge. Hardy beat Edge (and HHH) at Armageddon back in December for one of the best feel good moments you’ll ever see in WWE. Then bad things started happening to Hardy, from someone nearly running him off the road to pyro burning his face. Someone is out to get Hardy, who thinks that Edge attacked him before Hardy’s title shot at Survivor Series, while Edge wants to prove that Hardy’s win was a fluke by taking the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending and looks like the kid who got an ugly sweater at Christmas. Before the match, Vickie Guerrero comes out to make it No DQ and Edge has Chavo Guerrero with him. Hardy drives Edge into the corner to start and stomps away, followed by a running forearm. Edge bails out to the floor so Hardy gives chase, only to grab a chair rather than go in unarmed. This takes a bit too long though and Edge kicks him down, which isn’t a huge surprise given how long Hardy took.

That’s shrugged off and Hardy hits a basement dropkick before sending Edge outside for a big dive. Back in and Edge boots him in the face to break up a springboard and Hardy crashes out to the floor. Hardy gets sent into various things, including all three announcers’ tables, before getting kicked down back inside. A waistlock works on Hardy’s ribs and Edge pulls him down by the hair to cut off a comeback.

Edge gets frustrated so he tries a chair of his own but Hardy hits a running shoulder to knock him off the apron. That means a slingshot dive and they fight to the apron, where Hardy drops him again. Since it’s Hardy vs. Edge, Hardy pulls out a ladder and goes up but has to deal with Chavo. Hardy knocks him off the ladder and hits a dive before posting Edge, who has a piece of paper stuck to his back for some reason.

Ever the genius, Hardy hits a dive off the ladder to put Chavo through the announcers’ table (with the ladder slipping out from underneath him as he jumped for a scary near miss). Back in and Hardy gets two off a high crossbody but Edge boots him in the face for a double down. It’s time to take off a turnbuckle pad, which is enough of a delay for Hardy to hit a Whisper In The Wind for two more.

The back and forth continues with an implant DDT to give Edge another near fall. Hardy is back up with the sitout gordbuster, only to be dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Instead of countering, Edge tries the spear, which is countered into a Twist Of Fate. Cue Vickie to break up the Swanton but Hardy hits it anyway, only for Vickie to pull the referee. Cue Matt Hardy with a chair to cut Vickie off…and then chair Jeff down with a nasty shot to the head. Edge is stunned as he gets the pin and the title back at 19:24.

Rating: B. These two work well together but Jeff couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any more than when he came to the ring looking all upset. Matt’s turn at the end was a surprise way to go, even after the bit of a tease earlier in the night. Jeff fighting off the odds worked well enough, but at the same time he was going move for move with Edge and that part was even better. It was a good match and felt big, but the title change didn’t come off quite as big as the swerve.

We get the series of replays and rather sad voices from the announcers after the big betrayal. For once, they feel mostly earned.

Rumble By The Numbers!

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors

36 people that Steve Austin eliminated

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

1 woman ever to enter, with Chyna

62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted in 1989

3 times that Austin won, the most ever

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30. As usual, only Shawn Michaels is mentioned as a winner from that spot

27, which has had 4 winners (John Studd in 1989, Yokozuna in 1993, Bret Hart in 1994, Steve Austin in 2001)

70% of winners who have gone on to win the World Title since 1993.

Some of these have of course been broken since, but dang this works every time.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rey Mysterio is in at #1 and John Morrison is in at #2. Mysterio starts fast by sliding between Morrison’s legs and kicking him in the face but gets sent to the apron rather early. It’s way too early for that so Mysterio is back in with a springboard high crossbody into a rather spinny headscissors. Morrison manages to hang onto the top even through a dropkick and it’s Carlito in at #3.

The apple goes into Morrison’s face and a swinging neckbreaker drops Mysterio. Carlito’s double springboard moonsault hits Morrison and he stomps away in the corner until MVP is in at #4. MVP gets to fire off some shots, including the running boot in the corner, but Mysterio grabs a headscissors to slow him down. Great Khali is in at #5 though and everyone gets focused. They also get beaten up, with Mysterio’s springboard dropkick barely staggering Khali and the Backstabber not working at all. Everyone is down with no one out as Vladimir Kozlov in at #6.

Kozlov goes after Khali and eliminates him without much trouble (that’s fairly impressive) before dumping MVP as well. A spinebuster puts Carlito down and that’s enough to toss him out too. Mysterio strikes away at Kozlov until a headbutt cuts him off but HHH is in at #7 to make things more serious. Some right hands and the facebuster are enough to get rid of Kozlov and things slow down.

Randy Orton is in at #8 and immediately hits the backbreaker on HHH but the RKO is blocked. Morrison breaks up the Pedigree and Mysterio gives Orton a springboard seated senton. There’s a 619 to Morrison as…JTG of Cryme Tyme (who wins a coin toss with Shad Gaspard, naturally with a double sided coin) is in at #9. That goes nowhere so it’s Ted DiBiase Jr. (part of Orton’s Legacy group) in at #10, giving us Mysterio, Morrison, HHH, Orton, JTG and DiBiase.

Morrison and JTG are sent over the top but both hang on and kick away at each other before getting back in. Mysterio has to hang on as well and can’t quite get rid of DiBiase at the same time. Chris Jericho is in at #11 and still has a lot of pyro. Jericho goes right after Orton but switches to HHH, who blocks a questionable Walls attempt. Things slow down a lot until Mike Knox is in at #12.

Knox goes after Mysterio, who he disliked because Knox is a monster. Legacy goes after JTG in a bit of an odd move and it’s the Miz in at #13. Miz and Morrison can’t do much with Orton, who snaps off a string of RKO’s. The Pedigree cuts Orton off though and HHH gets rid of Miz and Morrison at the same time. Finlay, with Hornswoggle, is in at #14 as Mysterio is thrown over the top but lands on Miz and Morrison to save himself in a nice sequence. The brawling goes on around the ring until Cody Rhodes is in at #15 to complete Legacy.

Mysterio tries a springboard at Orton, who RKO’s him out of the air in another sweet visual. Undertaker is in at #16 and the match stops with everyone forming a line to go after him. House is cleaned but only JTG is tossed out, which doesn’t feel overly important. The Snake Eyes/big boot combination hits Rhodes, and speaking of Rhodes, Goldust is in at #17. Goldust slugs away at Rhodes but walks into the RKO, which lets Orton give Rhodes a bit of a lesson. Rhodes throws Goldust out and it’s CM Punk in at #18.

Punk gets to strike away as we hear about some of his career accomplishments. HHH’s Pedigree is countered into the Go To Sleep and Mark Henry is in at #19 as the ring is way too full. A World’s Strongest Slam hits HHH and Shelton Benjamin is in at #20. That gives us Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Henry and Benjamin for a lot of star power but way too many people overall.

Benjamin hits Paydirt on Finlay before running the corner for a double super Paydirt to Jericho and Punk. The Dragon Whip hits Henry as Benjamin is getting in a heck of a run here. William Regal is in at #21 and goes after Punk before Mysterio low bridges Henry out. Kofi Kingston, still Jamaican, is in at #22 and starts striking away, including the Boom Drop to Knox. Benjamin dives at Undertaker in the corner, who kind of spinebusters him down and then tosses him out in a heap.

Mysterio is hanging upside down on the post as Kane is in at #23. Kane goes after DiBiase but stops to stare at the bloody Undertaker. The double chokeslam plants DiBiase and solo versions take down Kingston and Jericho. Regal is tossed by Punk and R-Truth is in at #24. Kane is sent to the apron but manages to hang on, with Legacy just kind of letting him go in a not so bright move.

Rob Van Dam returns in a surprise at #25 and comes in with a top rope kick to Kane. Van Dam fires off a bunch of clotheslines until Brian Kendrick is in at #26. Kendrick gets rid of Kingston, who didn’t have the fancy saves for a few more years. HHH tosses Kendrick and does his staggering around thing. Dolph Ziggler (still relatively new) gets lucky #27 and is tossed out almost immediately by Kane. Rhodes gives Punk an electric chair drop as we get another slow down.

Santino Marella is in at #28 and is clotheslined out by Kane in one second to break the Warlord’s record. Jericho hammers on Undertaker in the corner and…actually doesn’t get Last Rided for a change. Only in the Rumble. Kane can’t quite get rid of HHH as Jim Duggan is in at #29. The big AMERICAN right hands stagger various people to quite the reaction and it’s Big Show in at #30. That gives us a field of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, Van Dam, Duggan and Show for quite the final grouping.

Kane goes after Show but can’t get very far, leaving Show to eliminate Duggan. Show throws out R-Truth as well but Undertaker can’t do the same to Rhodes. Punk saves himself and strikes away at Show, who still can’t get rid of him. The WMD is enough to knock Punk out though and things are finally/thankfully thinning out a bit. Knox and Mysterio (that’s not much after being in there for so long) are put out at the same time as Hornswoggle comes in for some reason.

Finlay breaks that up but gets thrown out by Kane to get us down to nine. Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the hanging DDT on HHH. Lawler: “This will be worse than being eliminated!” No King, it won’t be. Undertaker wins a slugout with Show and Van Dam hits the Five Star on Orton, only to get tossed by Jericho. Undertaker tosses Jericho and we’re down to Undertaker, Kane, Show, Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes and HHH.

Legacy gets rid of Kane and everyone goes to a corner. A triple team on Undertaker doesn’t work for Legacy, who starts snapping off chokeslams. Undertaker and Show slug it out again until Undertaker kicks him out to the apron. Show gets tossed but pulls Undertaker out with him, setting up yet another feud between these two.

Undertaker and Show brawl into the crowd as it’s down to HHH and Legacy. The trio surrounds HHH, who fires a crotch chop and starts swinging, which doesn’t last long before the beatdown is on. HHH fights out and hits a facebuster and hits a Pedigree on Rhodes. DiBiase is tossed and so is Rhodes, only for Orton to dump HHH for the win at 58:39.

Rating: B-. I haven’t watched this one in a long time and I had a good time with most of it, even with the ring being too full near the end. There is a lot of star power here and most of the deadwood didn’t stay around too long. There were a few good surprises (Van Dam was great) and while HHH and Orton were the only viable options, it felt like there was other stuff going on rather than just waiting around for them to win. Good Rumble here and a nice one to visit after a long time away.

Overall Rating: B. As usual, the Rumble is going to carry the weight of this show because it takes up so much time. That made for a good show this time as the Rumble worked well enough, with the rest of the show supporting it. Well most of it as Cena vs. JBL just did not work very well, but everything else was perfectly fine at worst. It’s a good overall show, especially coming into it completely fresh.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: B-

GEEZ did I just hate Orton when I watched this the first two times? I was surprised to see that I had been consistent in my pretty strong dislike of the Rumble the first two times as it might not be a classic but it’s certainly not a D. The rest of the show mostly lines up, save for the women’s match which was really just ok more than anything else.

 

 

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