Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice which is one of the rather big pit stops on the way to Rebellion in April. I’m curious to see how they are going to set things up on the way there, as the card is all but set up. You can always use a little bit of an extra push though and that is what we should be in for here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Tasha Steelz vs. Jazz

Kiera Hogan and Jordynne Grace are here too. Steelz talks a lot of trash to start and Jazz doesn’t seem interested in hearing it. Jazz sends her outside without much effort but Steelz is back in with a headlock takeover. That’s reversed into a headscissors, with Steelz escaping and talking more trash. They stay on the mat with the reversals until Steelz has to bail to the rope to get out of a modified Boston crab.

A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two on Jazz and Steelz slaps on the chinlock. Back up and Steelz misses a charge into the post, allowing Jazz to grab a small package for two. The Falcon Arrow gives Steelz two but Jazz makes the comeback and grabs a Samoan drop for two more. A sitout powerslam gets the same as Grace and Hogan get into it. Jazz grabs the STF for the tap at 6:03.

Rating: C-. It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time and there wasn’t much more to it than that. One half of a tag team beat half of another tag team to set up their Tag Team Title match in a few days. It has been done for years now and while it gets the job done, it doesn’t exactly make me thrilled to see the title match.

ODB is happy for Jazz when Susan comes in to yell. A match is made for tonight.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Trey Miguel talks to his friend Sam (who Sami Callihan made into his student last week), who says Sami isn’t a bad guy. Miguel says Sami is lying but Sam says that’s what Sami said he would say. Sami told Sam to issue a challenge for tonight so Trey will beat a lesson into him.

Video on Moose vs. Rich Swann at Sacrifice to unify the two World Titles. Swann is ready to fight and Moose is ready to be a monster. Believe it or not, Swann thinks Moose is missing the heart.

Mahabali Shera/Rohit Raju vs. Chris Sabin/James Storm

Raju and Sabin start things off with both guys ducking a bit until Raju sweeps the leg for a knockdown. Sabin takes him into the corner though and hands it off to Storm, who gets two off of Sabin’s kick to the back of the head. Storm throws Raju into the corner because he wants to face Shera like a cowboy should. Some right hands in the corner don’t do much to Shera, who kicks him in the face. Striker: “The world just saw that.” Check your viewership Striker. You would be lucky if the population of Lafayette, Louisiana saw that (at least in America).

We take a break and come back with Sabin in trouble for a change and Shera hitting some clotheslines in the corner. Shera’s Cannonball gets two but Sabin fights out of the double team and gets the hot tag to Storm. House is cleaned, including a spinebuster for two on Raju. An assisted tornado DDT gives Sabin two and everything breaks down. Raju hits a jumping knee to Storm but Shera goes after Storm, which has Raju annoyed. Sabin gets in a shot from behind to knock Shera into Raju, setting up the Cradle Shock for the pin at 10:22.

Rating: C+. I’m still not sure when Shera and Raju became a half decent tag team but they’re making it work out well enough. Storm and Sabin are a cool idea for a team and they are doing about as well as you would expect. This was a good match and that is not something I would have expected coming in, so call it a nice surprise.

Reno Scum and XXXL argue as my blood pressure begins to rise. Decay comes in to talk to Larry D., with Acey Romero freaking out. XXXL leaves and Decay vs. Scum seems to be set up for Sacrifice.

Flashback Moment of the Week: the Motor City Machine Guns b. Beer Money and Team 3D.

Deaner survives his punishment and gets another lecture from Eric Young. Chris Sabin and James Storm come up and ask what is going on here. Storm yells at Young and the brawl is on, with Joe Doering coming in to leave Storm and Sabin laying.

Brian Myers storms into Scott D’Amore’s office and demands that Eddie Edwards be fired in exchange for dropping some legal issue. D’Amore makes an anything goes match for Sacrifice instead. I’m not sure if that is what Myers wanted.

Trey Miguel vs. Sam Beale

Sami Callihan handles Sam’s intro, saying he has the heart that Miguel is lacking. Trey turns to yell at Callihan and gets jumped from behind to start. That earns Sam a leglock pulled into a choke for the tap at 43 seconds.

Post match Sami messes with the lights and takes Sam out.

Chris Sabin and James Storm want to get rid of Violent By Design by cutting off the snake’s head at Sacrifice. Jake Something comes in and says he’ll have their back. Sure why not.

It’s time for the AEW ad, with Tony Khan bragging about the Revolution buy rate and running down the Dynamite card. Tony Schiavone handles the other half because these shows have a lot on them.

Scott D’Amore handles the contract signing between the Good Brothers and FinJuice for the Tag Team Title match at Sacrifice. Booze is brought out so D’Amore leaves and lets them handle this themselves. They enjoy some shots (with an ode to Curt Hennig) and the contract is signed. FinJuice throws the drinks into the Brothers’ faces and the brawl is on.

Ace Austin vs. Chris Bey

Madman Fulton is here with Austin and this should be good. Austin heads straight to the floor and grabs a chair but gets back in at nine sans chair. Bey takes him into the corner so Austin shoves him off, only to get headlocked to the mat. Austin slips out of that and takes Bey to the mat again, setting up a double underhook with a knee to the chest for two. Back up and Bey hits a sliding dropkick to the floor, followed by the big running flip dive.

Austin gets in a shot of his own and heads back inside for his own running flip dive. Back in and a running kick to the face gives Austin two but Bey grabs a Code Red for the same. They both miss rapid fire kicks to the head as Striker says people will be talking about this like they talked about Tiger Mask vs. Dynamite Kid. Austin catches him on top with Bey dropping him down to the floor. Bey falls too (Striker: “An avalanche of flesh!”) and we take a break.

Back with a slugout from their knees until Ace hits a spinning kick to the head in the corner. Bey blocks a headscissors attempt but the Art of Finesse is blocked as well. Bey hits a Vertebreaker for two (good grief) and a slingshot DDT gets no cover. The delay lets Austin bail to the floor and gets in a shot of his own to take over. Cue TJP to watch from a chair so Fulton chases him off. Bey cuts off the Fold with a cutter and finishes with the Art of Finesse at 18:19.

Rating: B. This was rather good, Striker’s downright annoying/stupid comments aside. Both of these guys can look good against anyone so it should come as no surprise that they had a really good one against each other. That being said, who in the world said it was ok to use a Vertebreaker for a throw away near fall? If you’re going to use some big move like that then it better be the finish (especially if you are winning the match). Otherwise, just leave it out because it wastes what could be a huge move later on.

Off to Swinger’s Palace where Josh Alexander doesn’t like TJP. Alexander doesn’t like the belt being on a poker table and promises to be coming for the title.

Rohit Raju yells at Mahabali Shera and gets lifted up against a wall. Shera does not owe him a thing.

ODB vs. Susan

Susan complains about ODB’s chest so ODB pulls her into it. Some chops in the corner have Susan in pain and a Bronco Buster connects. A fall away slam sends Susan outside and the match to a break. Back with ODB hitting a running shoulder and hitting the Dirty Dozen in the corner. Susan grabs a full nelson and then pulls ODB down by the hair, allowing her to pour out ODB’s flask. That earns her the Bam to give ODB the pin at 7:28.

Rating: D+. Well I certainly remember why I can’t stand ODB. This was one signature “hey look at this kind of sexual thing I’m doing” move after another and it gets old fast. Throw in the yelling all the time and I’m really not sure why I’m supposed to cheer for her. She is a legend in the division, but that does not mean she was ever fun to watch in the first place.

Post match Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee comes in to beat on ODB but Jordynne Grace and Jazz run in for the save. Fire N Flava come in as well and the heels beat everyone down.

Sacrifice rundown.

Scott D’Amore is glad to get….something signed, but Moose is in the ring to interrupt. Moose wants D’Amore out here for an announcement he has promised. Post break, Moose is threatening to hijack the show (which has about five minutes to go) unless D’Amore gets out here.

Cue D’Amore, who brings out Rich Swann for a staredown. Here’s the announcement: the match at Sacrifice is title for title in a unification match. They hold up their titles but D’Amore isn’t done. Whoever leaves is going to face Kenny Omega in another title vs. title match against AEW World Champion Kenny Omega. Striker: “IMPACT WRESTLING HAS JUST BROKEN THE INTERNET!” No you haven’t, you schnook.

We cut to Don Callis, who is on the phone with Omega, and says it was just like they planned.

Overall Rating: C. This show did well enough to build to Sacrifice, and it helps a lot that the shows are taking place about once a month. Sacrifice feels like a regular pay per view and it helps that it is at a discount price. The wrestling was hit and miss, as tends to be the case here, with Striker dragging things down due to general annoyance, as tends to be the case as well. Not a bad show, but it was just a preview for the important one.

Results

Jazz b. Tasha Steelz – STF

Chris Sabin/James Storm b. Rohit Raju/Mahabali Shera – Cradle Shock to Raju

Trey Miguel b. Sam Beale – Leglock choke

Chris Bey b. Ace Austin – Art of Finesse

ODB b. Susan – The Bam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We’re still starting the build to Rebellion but first up we need to get through another Impact Plus special. Things have changed around here though as for once that does not sound like the worst thing. I’m not sure what to expect here but last week’s show was not the strongest in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Jake Something vs. Deaner

Tables match. Deaner goes straight for the bite to the nose as commentary actually tries to compare the two of them. Jake is right back with a running clothesline to the back of the head and it’s time for the first table. That takes a little too long though and the table is dropkicked into Jake’s face. Jake fights back and puts the table over the middle rope in the corner, setting up a Michinoku Driver….in the middle of the ring instead of near the table.

Back up and Deaner avoids a charge to send Jake throat first into the edge of the table. Another table is bridged between the ring and the barricade and they fight to the apron. Jake is knocked to the floor and Deaner tries a flip dive, but Jake pulls it out of the air. With that broken up, Deaner rams the edge of the bridged table into Jake’s chest.

Deaner goes up top but Jake catches him, only to have Deaner escape a superplex attempt. A hair mare brings Jake down but he’s right back with a sitout powerbomb. A powerslam off the steps is broken up so they head to the stage. The Deaner DDT is broken up as well, followed by a powerbomb being escaped as well. Jake staggers down the aisle so Deaner charges….right into a Black Hole Slam to give Jake the win at 9:41.

Rating: C. This was a decent enough tables match and I’m rather impressed by what the Deaners could pull off, as they went from insufferable to this in just a few months. I’m not needing to see these two again and Jake Something is the most indy name you could ask for, but at least they did something nice enough here.

Post match here’s Moose to drive Jake through a table. Moose sits in a chair and says there is not going to be a show until Rich Swann comes out here. Post break, Moose is still waiting but here’s Scott D’Amore instead. Moose isn’t leaving, even when D’Amore says Swann isn’t in the building. Cue Jake Something, with Moose telling him not to do this. D’Amore likes the idea though and yeah we will have a World Title match tonight because the TNA World Title is officially recognized again.

Commentary goes over what’s coming tonight.

Trey Miguel/Willie Mack/Josh Alexander vs. Chris Bey/Ace Austin/Black Taurus

The winning team faces each other in a triple threat match next week to crown a new #1 contender (that’s quite Russoish). Bey and Miguel start, with Striker saying they are the aces of the teams. As you try to get your head around that one, Trey takes Bey down by the arm to start. It’s quickly off to Austin, with Striker not bothering to call him the Ace. Trey sends him into the corner so Mack can send him into the corner as well.

Austin slips out of the swinging slam and it’s Taurus coming in for the battle of the jumps/flips. A hurricanrana puts Taurus down and there’s a dropkick into the corner. Alexander comes in for a Regal Roll but has to knock an invading Bey off the apron. That lets Taurus get up for some chops in the corner but Alexander is right back with his own. Taurus pops up and runs the corner for a twisting flip dive to drop Alexander though and we take a break.

Back with Bey’s running hurricanrana being countered into a powerbomb backbreaker to give Alexander a breather. That’s enough for the hot tag to Miguel to pick up the pace, including a jumping elbow to Austin’s back for two. Everything breaks down with Alexander taking Bey down with a dive. Mack plants Austin and goes up, only to get crotched on top. The Fold drops Mack again but Miguel and Alexander make the double save.

A huge backbreaker plants Miguel but Alexander is right back up with a German suplex to Taurus. Austin counters the ankle lock and Bey plants Alexander with a slingshot DDT. Mack takes Bey down but has to bail out of the Six Star. A heck of a dropkick into the corner sets up the Art of Finesse to finish Mack at 10:50. Striker: “FINALLY!”

Rating: B-. Good action as expected, but I’m trying to figure out the FINALLY. What’s worthy of a finally? Bey, who has already been X-Division Champion, has beaten Mack before and it’s not like it’s some big rivalry. Anyway, if Bey and company were going to win, Mack was the only one to take the fall so this works well enough. As per tradition, the X-Division works rather well.

The winners argue over who should win the triple threat.

A frustrated Trey Miguel walks to the back and Sami Callihan is waiting on him. Callihan asks if Trey is going to give up again but Trey jumps him.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Decay retains the Tag Team Titles over the BroMans at Slammiversary 2016.

Decay talks about how they have been gone for a long time but now it is time for the resurrection of the death dealers. Without death there is no light and they are nature’s pestilence. This felt a lot better than anything the three of them have done in a long time.

AEW’s Tony Schiavone and Tony Khan, this time flanked by a bunch of AEW wrestlers, including Team Taz, Britt Baker, Matt Hardy and more, are glad to be doing more charity work. Khan (who Schiavone calls the Forbidden Door) refers to himself as the Biggest Mark In Professional Wrestling and the wrestlers cut mini promos about how they are ready for their matches this week. Schiavone gives us a more traditional rundown.

Nevaeh tells Havok that she needs some time away and won’t listen to Havok trying to talk her out of it. Nevaeh leaves and here are Kaleb With A K (in a neck brace) and Tenille Dashwood to propose a new team with Havok. That’s a big negative, but Kaleb With A K thinks there’s chemistry.

XXXL vs. Good Brothers

Non-title. Larry runs Anderson over to start but gets sent into the corner for a fall away slam from Gallows. It’s off to Romero, with Striker talking about how Romero looks like Adrian Adonis. With that image out of the way, Romero drives Anderson into the corner and brings Larry back in to choke on the ropes. We hit the chinlock on Anderson but he jawbreaks his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Gallows and house is cleaned. The Magic Killer finishes Larry at 5:55.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a workout for the Brothers here, though the Magic Killer on someone Larry’s size was impressive. I can go for seeing a match like this and XXXL have just enough status to make it mean something. If nothing else it meant I didn’t have to hear the Brothers talking and that’s a plus.

We go to Swinger’s Palace, where James Storm and Chris Sabin are making money but Rohit Raju comes in and takes the card they need, costing them a lot of money. Storm is ready to fight but Sabin says this isn’t happening because he loves Swinger’s Palace. A match is set up between Raju and Storm for later.

The Good Bros ask FinJuice about their beers but FinJuice points out that it took them a bit to beat XXXL. FinJuice talk about how great the Brothers are but make a few jokes so Gallows has to hold Anderson back.

Eddie Edwards vs. Brian Myers

Hold on though as Myers comes out in street clothes. Myers has retained a lawyer and is accusing Impact for an unsafe working environment over his eye injury. Therefore Myers can’t wrestle so here’s a replacement.

Eddie Edwards vs. Hernandez

Eddie dives onto Hernandez before the bell and they get inside to get things going. Hernandez is knocked to the floor but cuts off a dive by sweeping the legs, sending Edwards back first into the apron. Myers gets in a few shots to the face and there’s the big shoulder to send Edwards flying. Eddie catches Hernandez on top though and it’s a superplex to bring them back down. The Border Toss is loaded up but Eddie gets out and goes up, meaning it’s a middle rope Boston Knee Party for the pin at 2:30.

Post break Matt Cardona comes up to Brian Myers, who doesn’t want to hear it. Scott D’Amore comes in to say he has talked to the lawyer, See, that contract is rather technical and the clause they use says Myers has to be cleared by an Impact doctor….and he has been so next week it’s Myers vs. Edwards in an Eye For An Eye match. And Cardona can referee! Myers protests and OF COURSE we aren’t doing an Eye For An Eye match because that would be stupid. The company that had a reality show, a whodunit over a split personality and a casino is complaining about something being ridiculous?

Kimber Lee/Susan vs. Jordynne Grace/Jazz

For the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles and Deonna Purrazzo is here with Lee and Susan. Jazz flips her way out of Susan’s waistlock and Gator Rolls her for a bonus. Some crossface forearms keep Susan in trouble but Purrazzo grabs Jazz’s leg for a distraction. Cue ODB to jump Purrazzo and that’s good for an ejection as we take a break. Back with Jazz fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught before she can get over to Grace. Forearms in the corner set up Susan’s chinlock to keep Jazz down.

Another comeback attempt is cut off so it’s back to Lee, who is headbutted down in a hurry. Grace gets the tag to clean house and Lee is knocked to the floor. A double gordbuster gets two on Susan and there’s a torture rack to make it even worse. Susan slips out so Grace plants her again with a German suplex. A poke to the eye sets up an ankle lock on Grace, who powers out in a hurry and finishes with the Grace Driver at 10:48.

Rating: C-. The Knockouts Tag Team Titles continue to be a bit of a problem as there are a lot of people involved in the division but there is little reason to have them team up other than they have to. That was the case with Grace and Jazz, but at least Susan and Lee are in the same group. That isn’t quite enough to warrant a team, but you kind of have to deal with it in a division like this.

ODB has been attacked and Grace/Jazz think it was Deonna Purrazzo.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

TNA World Title: Moose vs. Jake Something

Moose is defending but Jake jumps him from behind and literally steals the spotlight during his entrance. They fight on the floor and we take a break, coming back with nothing seeming to have changed. Jake throws him in for the opening bell, with Moose saying bring it on. Moose hits a running charge in the corner and starts choking on the ropes, followed by the trash talking chop in the corner. Jake’s face is sent into the apron and his ribs are sent into the barricade so Moose can chill for a bit inside.

Back in and Jake grabs the wrist for a series of clotheslines. A big one turns Moose inside out but he’s right back up to walk into the Michinoku Driver for two. Jake goes up but Moose nails him with a good dropkick and the top rope superplex is good for the double knockdown. The spear is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and they’re both down. They get back up for the big slugout with Moose nailing a pump kick. A release Rock Bottom sets up a release Rock Bottom into the discus lariat to knock Jake silly. Now the spear can retain at 6:51.

Rating: C. Jake looked good here and while I’m still not wild on the rather indy name, it was nice to see someone fresh getting to showcase themselves. It was a good power brawl and while the ending wasn’t in doubt, at least they offered a new name in the main event. Now if only Jake can get away from Violent By Design, he might be able to jump up the ladder a bit.

Post match Moose grabs the chair but Rich Swann runs in for the save. Referees break it up so here’s Scott D’Amore to make the title match at Sacrifice on March 13. Striker: “When you make a deal with the devil, you cannot negotiate the price.”

Overall Rating: C. This was a perfectly serviceable show which had some acceptable matches and moved some stories forward. At the same time though there is nothing worth going out of your way to see and Striker was his usual annoying self. In other words, it’s right in the middle and that is kind of an upgrade for the show. The lack of annoying stuff helped a lot too, though I have no reason to believe it won’t be there again next week.

Results

Jake Something b. Deaner – Spinebuster through a table

Chris Bey/Ace Austin/Black Taurus b. Josh Alexander/Willie Mack/Trey Miguel – Art of Finesse to Mack

Good Brothers b. XXXL – Magic Killer to Larry D.

Eddie Edwards b. Hernandez – Middle rope Boston Knee Party

Jordynne Grace/Jazz b. Kimber Lee/Susan – Grace Driver to Susan

Moose b. Jake Something – Lights Out

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We’re done with Hard To Kill and the big story seems to be Kenny Omega being primed up for a shot against Impact Wrestling World Champion Rich Swann. I’m not sure when that could be taking place as Impact is off pay per view until late April, but maybe they have something in mind. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hard To Kill if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Hard To Kill.

After the show ended, Don Callis praised Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers on their win. Callis stopped to talk to the camera though, saying it was a good example of what the Invisible Hand can do. He and Omega are heading back to Jacksonville, but they’ll be back.

Opening sequence.

Eric Young vs. Rhino

Young has Deaner and Joe Doering while Rhino has Cousin Jake. Rhino knocks him down to start and it’s time for Young to take a breather on the floor. Jake isn’t having that and throws Young back inside, where he gets in a quick low blow to take over. The jumping stomps ensue and we hit the neck crank to keep Rhino down. Commentary compares AEW invading to the Monday Night Wars as Rhino fights out and throws Young down for a breather. That’s enough to have Deaner get up for a distraction and Doering comes in for a cheap shot to Rhino’s leg. A heel hook makes Rhino tap at 4:03.

Rating: D. This was a nothing match with Young getting to show how evil and vile his team is in case we hadn’t gotten the idea in the first dozen or so examples. Young just doesn’t feel like some evil mastermind no matter what Impact says but this seems like something that is going to have some legs.

Post match Young and company beat Rhino down and Pillmanize his leg while making Jake watch.

Here’s a recap of Hard To Kill and a chat about how important the main event was.

After Hard To Kill was over, Moose attacked Rich Swann.

Swann is ready to prove he is the World Champion.

Acey Romero and John E. Bravo talk to Tommy Dreamer, saying that Larry D. is being framed. They have found matching fingerprints on both the Ring Rust cologne and the gun. Dreamer is intrigued.

Here are the Good Brothers for a chat. They’re awesome you see and are going to be Tag Team Champions for as long as they want. It’s always going to be the Magic Killer, the pin and a just too sweet….but here’s Chris Sabin to interrupt. Sabin talks about how the Good Brothers stole the Motor City Machine Guns Tag Team Titles because neither of the Guns were ever pinned. They want a rematch, but Gallows points out Sabin’s lack of a partner. Sabin does have a partner though, and here’s James Storm.

They get in the ring with Storm listing off Sabin’s resume and reciting his song lyrics as he gets in the Brothers’ faces. The challenge is thrown down….and here are Matt Hardy and Private Party (from AEW) to interrupt. Matt says that Private Party has a chance to be the second best tag team ever (after the Hardys of course).

They have a six man tag tomorrow night but tonight, Private Party can get in the ring. Matt will get 50% of the money tonight because it’s a third party and tomorrow it’s the usual 30%, meaning Matt is getting 260%! Storm says that’s some bad math and this is a private conversation. Matt doesn’t want to hear it because he saved this company, so tonight it can Private Party challenging the Good Brothers for the Tag Team Titles. Hardy: “Those titles belong to my brother and I! Impact stripped them from us in some stupid teleportation angle!”

Gallows has a better idea: the two teams can face off tonight for a title shot. That works for Hardy, who gives Private Party a pep talk and threatens the other teams. The truth is the truth. That was a nice surprise and Private Party could use a change of scenery at this point and this could help them.

Matt Cardona says he’s here for an opportunity and wants to prove the fans right.

We recap the Knockouts Tag Team Titles, including Fire and Flava winning them at the pay per view.

Kaleb With A K and Tenille Dashwood seem confused with Fire and Flava come up to ask if they’re going to be there for the title celebration. Johnny Swinger comes up to offer the two for one special again. Swinger tries to get both of them at once so they bring up the stolen money. Fallah Bahh comes in to accuse everyone of being a thief but here is Brian Myers. Bahh and Myers don’t like each other and a match seems likely for later.

Kimber Lee/Susan vs. Jordynne Grace/Jazz

Deonna Purrazzo is here with Lee and Susan. It’s a brawl to start with Grace and Jazz cleaning house and Jazz getting two on Susan. The chinlock goes on and Jazz adds some crossface shots. Grace comes back in for the shoulders in the corner and takes it outside. The beating continues but Kimber grabs Grace by the hair for a takedown as we go to a break.

Back with Susan hammering on Grace and choking on the rope. Grace is fine enough to catch Susan on top but the fireman’s carry is escaped. A spinning kick to Grace’s hands in front of her face gets two and Lee chops her down in the corner. Lee misses a charge in the corner though and Grace blasts her with a clothesline.

There’s the tag off to Jazz and Susan gets one of her own. Susan’s jacket comes off but Jazz punches her into the corner anyway like a villain should (even though Jazz isn’t a villain). Grace hits some running knees in the corner and adds a backsplash, setting up Jazz’s DDT. Lee makes a save and argues with the referee, allowing Purrazzo to get in a belt shot so Susan can get the pin at 10:42.

Rating: C. Not too bad here as the numbers game cost the heroes a win. Grace and Jazz don’t need to be a long term team but if Jazz can give her a rub during her last run, good for them. I’m getting into Purrazzo and her minions, so maybe they have a little something here with them.

Taya Valkyrie is asked about losing at Hard To Kill when John E. Bravo comes in to yell at her. Dreamer and Romero come in to accuse her of causing Larry D. to shoot Bravo….and she admits it. Taya shouts that she wants Bravo dead and gets taken away by police. Dreamer thinks she’s going to prison in Jacksonville, Stamford (Dreamer: “For two years with an option for three.”) of maybe Baltimore. Dreamer: “It’s finally over.” Thank badness.

Taya is taken away but the cops let her stop to talk to Rosemary, who isn’t happy. Rosemary says they had a plan but Taya breaks down and talks about what their friendship meant. Rosemary pulls her into a hug as Taya is escorted outside. She says this is why they don’t have friends, but here’s Crazzy Steve for a shared laugh and sneer.

It’s time for another AEW paid announcement, with Tony Schiavone telling us that this is a REAL television studio. Schiavone throws us to Tony Khan and Jerry Lynn, the former of whom hypes up Private Party vs. James Storm/Chris Sabin later tonight. We also run down the Dynamite card. Khan is proud of Matt Hardy for showing up and insists that he (Khan) is a nice guy. Hardy isn’t because he is the greediest guy in the sport and can carny Impact. Khan says he and Lynn will be at ringside tonight….and they’re backstage at Impact.

Here’s Rich Swann for a chat. On Saturday, he felt the pressure of leading Impact Wrestling into battle. That is the kind of pressure he thrives on but can you blame him for having trust issues when it comes to Moose? That’s the man who has been walking around claiming to be World Champion and the man who put his best friend on the shelf. Yes Swann’s attention has been on Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers lately, but Omega isn’t here tonight, so the schedule is wide open.

Moose can come out here right now, so here he comes. Swann looks ready to fight but Moose says don’t make mistakes when you’re too emotionally invested. Moose wants his title shot, so Swann calls him an idiot. Swann is trying to give him his title shot right now and takes the jacket off. That’s not happening because it’s on Moose’s time. Swann: “Then what the h*** are we supposed to do right now?” Swann punches him in the jaw and the fight is on, with Swann ripping off Moose’s suit. The Phoenix splash connects to send Moose scurrying.

Rohit Raju comes in to Scott D’Amore’s office and TJP follows. Raju freaks out and says TJP couldn’t challenge for the title. Scott says Manik won the title and just happens to be TJP. D’Amore: “OF COURSE HE IS! EVERYBODY KNEW THAT!” Ok that was funny. Anyway, Raju gets a match in two weeks. A happy Raju leaves because that’s all he wanted. Scott: “You think I should tell him it’s a non-title match?” Again, that was funny.

Fire and Flava have a celebration for their titles in the back with a referee as the guest. They offer him various packages to the celebration but when Havok and Nevaeh come in, the packages are suddenly sold out. The two of them get a special offer though: a package where they can watch from home.

Brian Myers vs. Fallah Bahh

Myers can’t knock Bahh down to start but Bahh can knock him down, setting up the big legdrop. As Striker asks the fans to name the legdrop for him, Bahh hits a crossbody for two. A belly to belly gets the same but Myers kicks him in the head and knocks him down. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Bahh fights up without much trouble. Bahh crushes a standing Myers in the corner and then crushes a seated Myers in the corner for two more. Hold on though as Myers claims a thumb to the eye, allowing him to get in a low blow. The running clothesline finishes Bahh at 4:12.

Rating: C-. This could have been a heck of a lot worse and they did their thing well enough. I’m still not sure what the appeal of Myers is supposed to be, but at least they’re pushing someone. Can we please get him a better finisher than a running clothesline though? He isn’t exactly JBL.

Ace Austin isn’t happy with how he was used at Hard To Kill because he didn’t have a match scheduled for the show. Then he tried to get into the X-Division Title match and wound up dealing with Matt Cardona, who seems to work here now. Cardona says he is always ready, but that means sitting in catering in his gear. Cue Josh Alexander to say he’s sick about hearing about Austin. Alexander is the one who is going to make sure Austin never reaches his potential. The shoving sets up the brawl with Madman Fulton getting in a cheap shot from behind. Cardona runs in for the save and we are probably having a tag match soon.

Stills from Barbed Wire Massacre from Hard To Kill.

Eddie Edwards is being checked by the doctor but here’s Brian Myers to have his eye checked. Myers says he’s more important than this backyarder so Eddie challenges him for next week.

Here’s what coming next week.

Private Party vs. James Storm/Chris Sabin

For the #1 contendership and Matt Hardy is here with Private Party. Joined in progress with Sabin avoiding an armdrag from Marq Quen but Quen makes it work the second time. A standoff sets up a handshake but Isaiah Kassidy comes in for an atomic drop to set up an enziguri. Kassidy stays in for a front facelock but Sabin slips out and flips over for the hot tag off to Storm. A Sling Blade cuts Kassidy off and Storm sends him to the apron.

The Silly String into a tornado DDT plants Storm, setting up a running enziguri in the corner. Cue Tony Khan and Jerry Lynn to sit down, with Khan holding a small notebook and smiling a lot. We take a break and come back with Quen stomping Storm down in the corner as Striker recaps everything we saw before the break. Kassidy comes in and it’s a double atomic drop into a wishbone into a double basement dropkick.

Storm flips his way out of a front facelock though and the hot tag brings in Sabin with a high crossbody. An enziguri into a tornado DDT drops Private Party and there’s a missile dropkick to Kassidy’s back for two. Quen saves Kassidy from a double suplex so Storm pulls Quen to the floor. The Backstabber hits Kassidy for two and Storm adds a neckbreaker. Quen is back with an enziguri to Storm but Sabin gives him a brainbuster.

Sabin and Kassidy slug it out until Quen kicks Kassidy over, allowing him to hit a jumping enziguri. A moonsault onto Sabin’s back gets two and Storm’s Skinning the Cat is broken up with a dropkick. Kassidy takes Storm down with a big flip dive but Jerry Lynn grabs Sabin’s foot on the ropes. The Gin and Juice (a middle rope hurricanrana into a cutter) finishes Sabin at 15:25.

Rating: B-. This is where things can help a lot for Private Party, as they can get out there with someone other than the AEW teams and hopefully develop more as a team. This is more where the crossover story should work out for both companies too as Private Party can get more out of this kind of a deal. Good match too, despite a few sloppy parts from Private Party.

Post match the Good Brothers come out for the big staredown. Sabin and Storm get back in and it’s a three way brawl to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. Good enough show here and slightly better than most of their usual post pay per view shows. I can go for having people like Private Party popping in here instead of having the AEW wrestlers dominating the shows. The show was kind of up and down, but the ending of the Wrestle House stuff is a breath of fresh air around here. I’m curious about where some of these things are going, but they are going to need to tighten the show up around here a little more.

Results

Eric Young b. Rhino – Heel hook

Kimber Lee/Susan b. Jordynne Grace/Jazz – Belt shot to Jazz

Brian Myers b. Fallah Bahh – Running clothesline

Private Party b. James Storm/Chris Sabin – Gin and Juice to Sabin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

I LOVE Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville. I never remember her looking better. Anyway, Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy in the Dudley attire can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-

Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/21/royal-rumble-count-up-2002-game-on/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

WCW is dead. That’s the big deal here obviously. A lot of the wrestlers from there are now here. Well mainly just those with talent or those that will sell t-shirts. Other than that, you have one major thing going on here: HHH is back tonight. Look up the video where he returns. It’s absolutely awesome.

It is by far and away the coolest moment I can ever remember on Raw. HHH, out about 8 months with a torn quad, is back now to reclaim his glory in the Royal Rumble. Also in the Rumble we have Austin, Angle, Taker and that’s about it. Other than the Rumble, we have Vince vs. Flair in a street fight and Rock facing Jericho for the newly formed Undisputed Title.

This show more or less is designed to give HHH the Mania shot but still making it look cool. The end of the Monday Night Wars have kind of hurt the company though, as there’s no reason to go insane in trying to crush WCW anymore. Anyway, let’s get to this as the card looks pretty good.

The intro is set to Cocky by Kid Rock and it showcases all of the major stars that are in the Rumble, which is a smart idea if nothing else. It wasn’t as generic as it has been in the past so that’s a perk if nothing else.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley and Tazz

Spike and Tazz were some of the oddest tag champions of all time. I vaguely remember them being champions, but not by much. They held them for a month and a half just before the draft and other than that they never did a thing again. This is the hottest period of Stacy’s career as the Duchess of Dudleyville. Just pure perfection in a woman.

The Dudleys beat on Spike on Smackdown and gave him a 3D in the parking lot so his neck is messed up. King is very annoying here too. This feels a lot like a TV match. The heels hit an AWESOME looking double flapjack on Spike, getting him way up there. This match is way too short here as it’s only about five minutes long.

Spike hits a Dudley Dog and finally, which is a stretch as he was only down for a bit, gets the tag to Tazz. Stacy gets up on the apron but for no reason at all we go to a shot of the crowd that looks like it’s at the beginning of a TV show. Anyway, within seconds, Tazz has D-Von in the Tazmission and we’re done. Yeah that’s really it.

Rating: C-. This was a bit out there. It felt like something that belonged on Raw. I really don’t get the point of this pairing but it works fine I suppose. The Dudleys were still the best tag team in the company, but with no one to feud with on their level they were really kind of worthless. And people say the tag division has been alive for a long time. Yeah right.

Edge and Regal have been fighting for a long time now.

Edge is in the back and says that he’s ready for a fight.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending here. Regal was using brass knuckles a lot around this time so Nick Patrick looks all over the place for them before the match starts. Edge is rocking the completely awesome Rob Zombie song here. DAng I love that song. Edge gets one heck of a pop. If there has ever been a poster boy for coming up from the bottom of the card to the midcard to the main event in the modern era, it’s Edge. He needs to come back as a face.

The referee finds knuckles on Regal in his tights. That brings on a ton of jokes from Lawler of course. Edge broke Regal’s nose with a chair to cause him to need a bunch of nose surgeries. We get a MASSIVE Regal sucks chant as the crowd is very hot. Nick Patrick’s voice is very deep to say the least. Lawler gives us some great insight here by telling us a broken nose hurts. In a cool spot, Regal has a double underhook (setup for the Pedigree) and Edge backdrops him but Regal hangs on.

That looked good. Lawler talking about noses is getting up to the level of annoyance of puppies here. Regal’s agility is underrated. He really is light on his feet. Regal hooks the Regal Stretch which lasts for a little while. Edge’s eyes are of course greatness personified. Edge gets the bastard version of it on to be rude but it doesn’t work at all.

A fan shouts break his neck Regal, which is ironic as Edge would do just that in just over a year. The referee gets speared so Regal can get the knuckles out. The longest time to make a count in history ends this for Regal. He of course swears it was all just a regular punch.

Rating: C-. The main thing this has going for it is that it’s brutal. I mean these two beat each other up very well. Again though, I could have seen this on a Raw or Smackdown. PPV matches are supposed to be special ones that the TV shows build up to. That wasn’t the case here as there’s nothing here to justify paying for. That’s not good.

With no transition at all, here we are at the next match.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Jazz was more or less the Chyna of ECW. They brought her over in the Invasion angle and then realized the flaw in that plan: no one knew who she was. She had been around for about a year and did a few things of note but nothing worthy of being known on this scale. Anyway, Jacqueline is the guest referee here. This wasn’t announced on TV, and the reason is there’s no point to it and no one would have cared anyway.

They were trying to make it a big deal that women were refereeing here, but they couldn’t have done it worse. For one thing, she might have been the least cared about Diva ever. I mean did anyone like her? Also, naturally, she’s in a tied off top so it’s about sex appeal (or in her case the lack thereof) all over again. Trish is still pretty bad in the ring at this point but you can see that there’s talent there. At the time I’m writing this, I’m debating why ECW failed as a national company with NSL.

While Jazz is on the way to the ring, we see a very quick video of Jazz hurting Trish’s hand while King alludes to Jazz going after Trish in the past few weeks. See what they did right there? Inside of 30 seconds they’ve explained that Jazz has been aggressive towards Trish, established Jazz as the heel here, shown that Trish might not be 100% coming into this match, and said that this has been going on for at least a few weeks because King is mentioning other things that Jazz has done.

That took about 20 seconds. ECW at Barely Legal didn’t do that for most of the matches, and it would have helped tremendously. Apparently Jackie was the other option for #1 contender and lost, so that validates her being a referee. Again, there’s an explanation. It’s freaking stupid, but it’s something at least. Trish’s hand is indeed bandaged.

Jazz takes her apart for the most part early on but Trish manages to get a sunset flip to set up a very good pinfall reversal sequence that was very impressive. Jazz and Jackie get into it after Jazz takes over. Jackie gives a slow count as this is just horrible. Trish gets a not great Stratusfaction for two and Jazz is dominating again. She hits it again for the win. Yeah that’s it. Jazz destroyed her for the majority of the three minutes and then that bulldog ends it. WOW.

Rating: D+. This was very, very sloppy. Jackie had no point to being in this at all and added nothing to it. Jazz was just not worth having in there at all either as no one bought her as a big deal. Trish was just awful at this point but it was clear she had some skills. There would be times in her matches where you would stop and go hokey smoke at the things she would come up with. Eventually she would get a lot better, but not for awhile.

We recap Vince vs. Flair which makes me think there have been almost no backstage segments tonight which is very odd for a show like the Rumble. Anyway, this feud is because after the Alliance died, Flair bought Shane and Stephanie’s shares of the company, which led to the brand split soon after this. Vince said that it was his company so he hates Flair, leading to this match. Yeah it’s contrived but who cares?

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Naturally it’s a street fight. This was back in the day when Flair still was in passable shape and could have some decent matches in the ring. Flair’s family is in the front row. Ross actually thinks it’s a big deal that Vince made Flair bleed. A hard stare can do that. Fink in the ring in the tux just looks right. Ross points out that both men are former world champions and former Rumble winners as it occurs to me how completely ridiculous Vince has been about pushing himself as a wrestler.

I know that he loves this very much but there comes a point where it’s just pushing yourself way too hard. Even Eric Bischoff didn’t get this bad. This has been a standard match so far. It’s very sad when a guy like Flair, who could put on classic matches with absolutely anyone (he had a very good match with Hawk of all people at Bunkhouse Stampede. If that doesn’t prove he’s the best ever, nothing will) has to get beaten up by Vince here, so Vince’s ego can be stroked.

Now we bring in the weapons which we need pretty badly here to validate Vince’s advantage. The fans are all behind Flair here of course. Flair is bleeding. I’m blown away. Lawler is cheering Vince on to no end here, which doesn’t surprise me. Flair showed up in Memphis around 1984 or 85 for a one night appearance and started the Jimmy Hart vs. Jerry Lawler feud that went on for the better part of a decade and caused more injuries to Lawler than should be humanly possible.

They’ve been on the floor for a good while now and Vince is dominating. He gets the camera from Flair’s family and takes a picture of them. That was just freaking pointless but then again Vince is involved in it so there we are. Oh good night take me now Vince is trying to use wrestling holds. Oh yeah the gimmick of the match is that Vince is turned on by destroying people, leading to a ton of bad jokes from Lawler.

Flair gets put in the figure four after having his legs worked on. Ross says this would ruin his professional career. That happened years before this so we have no worries there. Flair get the reversal and after being in the hold all of 2 seconds, Vince is limping. Holy oversell Batman. Vince finds a pipe that he hit Flair with a few weeks ago. Flair gets the forearm to the area below where a low blow should connect but not quite to the back to break that up though.

Ross says Vince’s heart, if he has one, is blacker than sin. No one can ever accuse Ross of being underwhelming. For no apparent reason, Flair looks at a monitor, which would show him looking at a monitor. This fascinates him for some reason. That makes great sense I suppose. Not really but I want to move on.

In a sick spot, Flair bites Vince’s open cut. I really hope he’s not a Twilight fan. Flair gets Vince’s pipe and knocks him over the head with a decent sounding shot. He puts the figure four on and Vince taps out. Apparently the pain causes him to wake up. The hold is released and Vince passes out again. That was pretty bad.

Rating: D+. This was a waste of time. It was two old guys fighting and trying to be hardcore and it failed miserably. The cut Flair had was decent but I still fail to see what the point of this was. Flair, a legendary wrestler, beat a non wrestler and that’s a big deal? This was just to say that Flair fought Vince and nothing more. This was pretty weak.

We see Jericho beating Rock at Vengeance to win the Undisputed Title, which is misleading because he beat Rock for the WCW title then Austin later on. To say Jericho was in over his head in this role is an understatement. Rock beat Booker to get his shot tonight. Jericho having a mental meltdown over Rock making fun of him is pretty good stuff.

Stephanie brags about what HHH is going to do to Austin tonight and what she would like to do to Debra, Austin’s wife. Austin comes up behind her and hilarity ensues. The WHAT chant could work really well if the timing was there.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both belts here which is kind of odd. They needed to just use the WWF one as it’s perfect looking as a title. The story was that HHH was supposed to be the champion first but since he wasn’t ready in time he got a Mania title win out of it and a new belt to go with it. No one bought Jericho as champion and I don’t think anyone ever has in any of his reigns. To be fair though, while he’s amazing on the mic as a heel, in the ring it just falls short.

No heel, especially one the size of Jericho, is going to be believable with a submission as his primary finishing move. It just doesn’t work. These two had been feuding over the WCW title for awhile before the Undisputed Title came into being. The promos of course were off the charts. That should be what this match is: a debate. It would have been more entertaining, which is saying a lot as the matches tended to be at least pretty good.

The beginning here is mainly feeling each other out which is fine. Jericho goes shoulder first into the post yet stays in control anyway. Well ok then. They’re starting slowly here. Not boring mind you but just slowly. That’s fine as it’s building to a big finish, which is that pesky little thing called psychology. Rock has his really short hair here which I’ve never liked at all. Jericho goes up but gets crotched as Rock hits the ropes. If nothing else that’s realistic so I’ll take it.

Ross says a pair of 2’s don’t beat anything. Any card player want to blast him there? The crowd is quite hot for this match which is always a good sign. Rock kicks out of two Lionsaults, as he brings the move back to life to kill its credibility even worse than it already was.

Rock hooks the really bad Sharpshooter while barely sitting back on it but Lance Storm and Christian, who were the UnAmericans soon after this with Jericho as an associate member soon after this, have the referee’s attention while Jericho taps. He gets out of it though and hits a Rock Bottom on the Rock for two. Jericho follows it up with the People’s Elbow as I’m just not buying him in the main event here.

He’s trying as hard as he can and the match is fine here, but he’s just in over his head I think. They hit the floor and Jericho takes a sweet looking Rock Bottom through the Spanish announce table. Finkel running away from the area is a great visual. Lawler for some reason tells Fink to put the table back together. The image of him as a carpenter with that perfect voice of his is very amusing for some reason.

After a Walls of Jericho doesn’t work (SHOCKED), the referee goes down so we get Nick Patrick, who has been very pro-Jericho recently. Rock gets a cover but Patrick won’t count. He gets a Rock Bottom and Jericho gets the elbow. With the referee still down, Jericho gets a low blow and a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. Apparently Rock’s head hit an exposed turnbuckle too. That’s better I guess.

Rating: B+. While I didn’t really buy Jericho out there and there were some bad spots, this was a solid 20 minute match. It was designed to put Jericho over as a heel and I think it did that. The key thing was that there was at least a pin and not him keeping the belt by DQ or something. He cheated to get it, but that’s what a heel does. Rock was a bigger star so Jericho shouldn’t have gotten a clean pin so to me this was acceptable.

Jericho had it in the ring, but he didn’t feel like a world champion. Granted having to contend with the still incredibly popular Rock and Austin and the returning HHH and being more or less a guy to keep the belt warm for HHH, AND the NWO returning the next month, there was no way Jericho was going to get a fair shot at being seen as the top guy at the moment. This was good stuff though.

We get a long package about the Rumble which had been shown on TV a bunch of times in the weeks leading up to this.

Royal Rumble

Fink’s intro takes just shy of forever to get through. Rikishi is number one and Goldust is number 2. This is around the time that Rikishi was transitioning into something close to being a tough guy. Goldust is making a return here as apparently they were really hard up for talent or something. We’ve been going about 90 seconds here and I’m already bored out of my mind with this. They really couldn’t have picked a worse pair to start this out.

Three is Big Boss Man, who just won’t go away for some reason. This enforcer role never got over at all. He hits a clothesline on Rikishi and the fat guy does his inside out flip. Why is that impressive when we see it every time he gets hit by a clothesline? Bradshaw is fourth and this is just flat out horrible so far. The smallest guy in there is 6’6 and 260lbs. That might have something to do with it.

Stink face to Boss Man, which is still the dumbest move in history. Rikishi uses one of the two moves he was good at, a superkick, to set up the elimination of Boss Man. Bradshaw hits a powerbomb on Goldust to hopefully give him something resembling interest in him as Lance Storm is 5th. There is just nothing of note going on here. It’s just guys that you know aren’t going to win trying to throw each other out in something that’s never going to happen.

Snow brings the level of interest up to nonexistent at number 7. Storm takes a solid Clothesline. The fans aren’t that into this either so it’s not just me. Oddly enough, Snow gets the biggest reaction of anyone. Billy, currently being homosexual, is 8th. In a very cool sequence, Snow and Storm fight on the apron in a kind of karate match until Snow puts Storm out. That was a lot cooler than it sounded. Bradshaw is out too.

We have Billy, Goldust, Rikishi and Snow in there at the moment as Taker is 9th. He had been vowing to win the Rumble and he’s also recently heel. He puts out all four with relative ease. Typically I like that format, but there’s just pure apathy from me on this for some reason. Matt Hardy with a delicious looking Lita is next. Taker had beaten up the Hardys and Lita recently so there’s some story here.

Lita comes in also and manages to slow down Taker which is more than the worthless Matt can do. Say it with me: Jeff is 10th. He’s wearing a hat for no apparent reason. They get him down and then Lita comes in and they triple stomp him. Apparently the three of them had been fighting recently which I vaguely remember. They hit their double team move, and for the life of me I don’t get why Taker doesn’t know how to take the Twist of Fate.

He always sells it like a spinning neckbreaker and ends up on his back which is just completely wrong. Jeff gets thrown out and Matt gets a Last Ride before he’s out too. Eyebrows Huffman, more commonly known as Maven, is number 11. He had won Tough Enough maybe 4 months prior to this so he’s a complete rookie here. Lita gets up on the apron and the Hardys come back in.

They get tossed with ease, but as Taker is yelling at them, Maven gets back up and in easily the biggest upset in Rumble history, Maven hits a dropkick to the back of Taker to eliminate him. The reaction from the crowd and Ross and the look on Taker’s face are by far and away the best thing since 97 when Austin heard Hart’s music. I mean this was like Santino on his first night beating Umaga without Lashley’s help.

It was completely insane as Taker was one of the heavy favorites for this. Taker more or less loses any sense of emotion on his face but slowly turns to look at Maven. Just take a guess as to what starts happening next. Once the beating starts they go to the floor and Maven takes a freaking sick chair shot. Taker shoves a cameraman down and we get a shot of his legs flying into the air which is just amusing. Taker puts him back in the ring as Scotty comes in at number 12.

Taker punches him down, and this winds up keeping him down for about three minutes. Yeah one punch does that apparently. Taker throws Maven over the ropes and we go into the crowd where there just happens to be a space with no fans there. What a coincidence! They go up the stairs and into a concession area where Taker puts Maven through a popcorn machine. Christian is in at 13 somewhere during this time but we just see him in the ring.

Scotty is still down by the way. FINALLY he gets up and after the audience has had nothing to see for about 5 minutes we have the clash of Scotty vs. Christian. Maven is officially still in but they just say screw it. He got a world title match the next night that did nothing at all. DDP is 14th. He might be the worse use of a character that Vince has ever had. I mean he was a god in WCW and he’s a self help guy in the WWF. That’s Vince for you.

We see Maven again and if nothing else he sells quite well for a rookie. We get a Diamond Cutter on Christian and there goes Scotty after the Worm, which actually might be dumber than the Stink Face. Chuck is 15th as the jobber Rumble continues. I mean really why in the world should I care about this match in the slightest? Actually scratch that. I get why I should care about the match but there’s zero reason to care about any of the people in there.

Christian is European Champion which you need to know because typing it killed some time here. This whole show has been that way. The matches have been ok up to this point but GEEZ there is just nothing appealing about this match at all for me. To further the greatness here we have Godfather returning but no longer as a pimp. He now owns an escort service. Just take me now please.

He has 12 women with him and spends so much time dancing with them that not only do we miss DDP’s elimination but Albert, the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and I wish I was making that up, is being counted down for the 17th entrant as Godfather gets in the ring. Christian and Chuck put him out in about 30 seconds. Godfather goes out soon thereafter but not before we get that stupid as heck running splash.

Perry Saturn, completely insane at this point is 18th. His tights have a cow pattern on them. This really is mind numbingly boring at this point. No one cares about anything in this match for the most part either. THANK GOODNESS Austin is 19th to breathe some much needed life into this thing. He clears the ring before anyone else is in. In a funny moment he looks at an invisible watch and goes out and gets Christian and Chuck and throws them in to stun them and then throw them out again.

The crowd is awake for the first time in this whole match. Val Venis returns (it’s a theme thing tonight) and doesn’t look as good with short hair. His gimmick overshadowed his in ring ability as he was actually pretty good in the ring. The crowd is just insane for Austin here as we’re in the WHAT phase of his career. Part of the problem here is that there haven’t been a lot of people in the ring that aren’t jobbers.

The small amounts of people make it hard to really get anything going that feels like a good Rumble. Test is 21st. Geez did they ever miss the boat on him in 1999. He never got anywhere close to that level again either. Test misses a big boot on Austin and hits Venis so he’s gone. Test follows him about 30 seconds later so Austin is alone again and we have 9 entries to go.

22 is HHH and the reaction is good but not what JR wants us to believe. To make sure we don’t have a great showdown for two minutes or close to it because that would be, you know, interesting, HHH walks at an Undertaker pace. They really must have been trying to protect HHH here as they talk for a bit and they punch each other for ten seconds before the clock starts again and it’s Hurricane at 23.

He lasts about 30 seconds so at least we’ll get some Austin vs. HHH here. What are Hurricane’s powers supposed to be anyway? Have they ever been listed? Farrooq is 24th but instead of allowing him to start a ring full of people he’s out in less time than Hurricane. Mr. freaking Perfect is 25th which was a surprise I think. He would actually stick around for a few months after this. He was still relatively young here at 42, so it’s not like he was ancient.

For some reason we again are told that he made his Rumble debut in 93, which is just wrong as he was 4th in 89. Angle makes is in his first Rumble match at 26. For absolutely no apparent reason, Austin saves HHH just before Big Show comes in at 27. He’s wearing that one piece swimsuit that they claim was ring attire. They say he’s the biggest athlete in sports entertainment history which is so wrong I’m not even going to touch it.

Show and Austin never had that big match which I’m sure would have at least been pretty good. Angle is in a gorilla press but HHH makes the save, as Ross does the smart thing and says in essence that Angle would be useful in helping get rid of Show. Kane is 28th and I really want this thing to just end already. They do the completely clichéd double chokeslam spot that is just stupid at this point.

Kane does something impressive though by picking Show up and cleanly throwing him over the top in a slam. Angle puts Kane out less than a minute after he got in. Are we not allowed to have more than 5 people in a match for more than 30 seconds or something? RVD is 29th to a GREAT pop. He can’t be world champion though. He can just get great pops and put on great matches and look awesome, but he’s clearly not world title material.

He comes in with a Five Star on Angle. He gets an awesome RVD chant in his honor, but HHH’s pop killing sense kicks in and he hits a Pedigree to end that. We can’t have someone else getting over now can we? I didn’t think so. Let’s have no more of such crazy thoughts now. Booker is 30th, so your final group is Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, Austin and HHH. Well if nothing else the ending is star packed.

Why in the world would you get rid of Show and Kane that fast though? They pointed out how awesome Kane was last year so it’s not like that’s been forgotten. Booker eliminates Van Dam less than 10 seconds after he gets in and does a Spinarooni and is put out after being in the ring 30 seconds. Ok seriously, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON??? Why in the world are these major stars going out in like a minute and a half each?

Austin breaks up a string of Germans with a WEAK low blow. I mean that was awful looking. This has to be a way to protect HHH or something. That’s the only way to explain the absurd booking of this thing. As Austin explains a spot to Perfect, Angle runs up and executes said spot by putting Austin out. To further protect HHH, everyone but him goes to the floor. That lasts all of four seconds, making it completely pointless.

Austin gets a chair and kills everyone not named HHH with it but then nails him anyway to make sure it’s a completely matched set. That was just a completely pointless bit as Austin just wasn’t a huge deal anymore. He should have fought Hogan at Mania though and there is zero arguing that, period. There’s no way anyone can convince me that Rock vs. Hogan was bigger than Austin vs. Hogan would have been.

Also, why in the world would you put Austin, the guy who main evented Mania the previous year, in a midcard throwaway match with SCOTT FREAKING HALL??? Perfect, the genius that he is, hooks the Perfectplex, which in this situation is a short suplex that doesn’t have a snap to it.

HHH puts him out so we’ve got Angle vs. HHH to finish us. And of course HHH Hulks Up and wins it to send us to the most lackluster main event of Mania in years because Hogan vs. should have been Austin was the real main event.

Rating: C-. The ending was the only appealing thing about this and even it was bad. Seriously, Booker, RVD, Show and Kane, four former world champions, were in the match a combined six and a half minutes, with about 90 seconds of that being walking to the ring. That’s just ridiculous on a ton of levels. It’s not like they would have been unrealistic in the ending or anything like that.

Last year’s was great, but there are three things here that messed this one up for me. First of all, it was pretty clear that HHH was going to win. I know there were legit alternatives in there at the end so that helped a lot, but it was still pretty clear. Second, the Iron Man last year was Kane at about 53 minutes. This year it was HHH at about 23. See the problem there? There’s no one that’s there for the entire Rumble to build up anything with.

Finally, unless I missed it, the longest amount of time there were six guys or more in there was about 45 seconds at the end. That’s just not enough to really get anything going. This was a bad Rumble in my eyes.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a quite good show. The women’s match is less than 4 minutes so the only bad match is a pizza break match. Still though, despite a solid card and a series of pretty good matches (while the Rumble was bad, it’s still watchable because it’s the Rumble and the ending is solid. I’m going to change that from a D+ actually.) there’s just something missing here.

It lacks the pop of 2000 and 2001, which may be because they knew WCW was on the run and that they could taste victory while here they have it. This show is good enough though as there may be some badly ranked matches, everything here is at least watchable. The street fight is fine for what it is I suppose and I could see some people liking it.

That sums this up well: I could see people liking it. I think part of it is not a lot of people watch these back to back so they have a lot of time between 2001 and 2002 to forget how awesome the previous two were. Anyway, this is a good but not great show that’s worth checking out, even though you won’t remember much of it a month later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Madison Rayne

It’s time to get back to the regular shows but we are also on the way to both Genesis and Hard To Kill. That means we could be seeing some good stuff around here, though the idea of building towards two shows at once is rarely something that works out all that well. Maybe they can fix that tonight though as Kenny Omega is here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kenny Omega and Don Callis joining forces with the Good Brothers against the Motor City Machine Guns and Rich Swann.

Opening sequence.

Ace Austin vs. Blake Christian vs. KC Navarro vs. Crazzy Steve

Madman Fulton is here with Austin and this is a preview of the Super X Cup at Genesis. Austin chills on the floor to start so the other two rub Steve’s chest. That’s a little too much for Austin, who pulls Steve to the floor so Christian and Navarro start going rather fast. Christian kicks Austin in the face but Austin sends him into the corner. Steve ties Navarro in the upside down Figure Four necklock over the ropes but Navarro is right back with a headscissors.

Navarro takes Austin out, only to have Christian shove him off the top to the floor. Christian’s big flip dive to the floor takes Navarro down but Austin cuts Christian off. That lets Navarro get back inside to dive onto Christian for a change, so Austin flips onto both of them at once. Back in and Navarro hits a running neckbreaker for two on Austin and Christian adds a standing Spanish Fly. Christian’s springboard frog splash gets two on Austin with Steve making the save. Steve Death Valley Drives Navarro into the other two in the corner and a middle rope DDT is enough to give Steve the pin on Navarro at 7:06.

Rating: C+. This was your old school X-Division spot fest, meaning there was almost no way to have anyone stand out and someone won in the end. That being said, it’s also a rather entertaining match because it is non-stop action from bell to bell. They kept things moving and didn’t stay out there too long, which is what matters most in something like this. It’s junk food, but it’s good junk food.

Kenny Omega’s bus is here so make sure you watch the whole show to see what he does!

Here’s what’s coming up tonight.

Sami Callihan hacks the feed and talks about how he is ready for Eddie Edwards. Eddie is trying to say that the good guys win in the end but tonight, Sami is proving the bad guys win. Thumbs up, thumbs down.

We get another paid advertisement from Tony Khan and Tony Schiavone. They’re here to help those less fortunate, meaning Impact Wrestling. We hear the Dynamite card and Khan goes into a rant against Don Callis, saying that he does everything for AEW except wrestling. Callis is a parasite but Khan is a patron of wrestling. He’ll be back to buy another ad next week because his grandmother gave him $100 in a Christmas card and he wants to spend it on something fun (Schiavone isn’t even trying to hide his laughter at that one).

The Good Brothers and Don Callis think Kenny Omega’s is so big. His belt that is. They’re ready for Hard To Kill because they’re friends with chemistry, which is more than the Guns and Swann have ever had.

Here are Cousin Jake and Rhino, with Jake wanting Cody Deaner back because they’re family.

Cousin Jake/Rhino vs. Cody Deaner/Joe Doering

Before the match, Eric Young says Deaner answers to him these days because Deaner has seen the truth. Cody hammers on Jake to start and seems far more intense than he has ever been before. Doering comes in as we hear about how awesome is he again, mainly because he was in Japan. We take a break and come back with Jake still in trouble in the corner. Jake manages to backflip out of a belly to back though and brings in Rhino to hammer away. The offense lasts about ten seconds before it’s already back to Jake though and Cody hits him low. The Deaner DDT finishes Jake at 7:31.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much drama to this as you have a new heel able so they aren’t going to lose on their first match together. Doering is still his usual self but I can go with something that gets rid of one of the redneck Deaners. It’s not like the team was anything of value in the first place so this is an improvement. Not much of one, but an improvement.

Post match Jake and Rhino get beaten down even more….until Tommy Dreamer comes out with the kendo sticks for the same. Dreamer issues the challenge for the Old School rules match at Hard To Kill. Eric Young and Tommy Dreamer in the same angle and match. Happy freaking new year.

Matthew Palmer didn’t drive this far to become a security guard so he is here to face Moose. If he lasts three minutes, people will know who Matthew Palmer is.

Acey Romero comes in to see Johnny Swinger, who has his own office. Romero says Crazzy Steve sent him to see Swinger about John E. Bravo being framed. Swinger says go ask the Knockouts.

Here are Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee for a chat. Deonna doesn’t understand why Taya Valkyrie has a problem with them. Taya is blaming them for all of her problems, but what happens when Purrazzo takes her out? Cue Taya and Rosemary, who says she is the longest reigning Knockouts Champion ever, and she hasn’t lost any focus on that title. Deonna says Taya has already lost everything she has and her husband isn’t even here anymore. When will Rosemary turn on her too? The only thing she has left is the record but Taya knows Purrazzo is scared of what is coming at Hard To Kill. Just a quick push towards the match.

Rohit Raju tells Chris Bey that his New Year’s resolution is to forgive, so he forgives Bey for costing him the X-Division Title. Bey isn’t impressed but Raju thinks they need to get together and take Manik out.

Post break Raju and Bey go find TJP, who hasn’t seen Manik. They want a tag match against Manik and TJP but he isn’t interested.

Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb With A K comes up to Rosemary and understands what it’s like to split with a partner like Rosemary is going to split with Taya soon. Rosemary isn’t interested.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Jazz/Jordynne Grace vs. Havok/Nevaeh

Nevaeh and Grace start things off with Grace working on a headlock to take Nevaeh down. That’s broken up so Havok comes in for the hoss fight, with Grace being knocked into the corner. Jazz comes in to slap Havok and stomp away in the corner. Havok sends her into the corner and hands it off to Nevaeh for the running splash.

That’s broken up in a hurry so Grace comes back in for a double back elbow to the face. Jazz is in just as fast and leaves Grace hanging on a tag (how rude) but suplexes Nevaeh down. The neck crank doesn’t last long as Nevaeh makes the comeback in a hurry. A double tag brings in Havok to powerbomb Grace for two as everything breaks down. The Tombstone finishes Jazz at 9:49 to send Havok and Nevaeh to Hard to Kill.

Rating: C-. This tournament has been ok at best and it isn’t exactly thrilling when the finals wind up being two of the only regular teams in the whole thing. Granted I’d rather have that than two random teams who have no history fighting for some historic titles. Grace continues to look like a star, but this was the right choice.

Rich Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns aren’t impressed by Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers. This company was founded on people like the three of them (Swann was 11 years old when the company was founded) and they aren’t letting this happen. Swann talks about how the letters on this title doesn’t say AEW because it says Impact Wrestling World Champion. They’re going to show the three of them that pain is temporary but pride is forever. Shelley is ready to go fight right now so they head to the parking lot.

After walking around security (It took them a month to figure that out?), the trio gets jumped from behind by Omega and the Good Brothers, with Callis shouting a lot. Omega says they were easy to kill and gets in a few more stomps before heading back onto the bus. In other words, Omega and company again look like the smart ones while the good guys are presented as complete morons.

Jazz asks Grace what happened but Grace says it was her fault. Everything is ok and Grace praises Jazz for being awesome. They should face each other at Genesis and the match is on. Grace wasn’t exactly great on the talking here.

Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee ask James Mitchell if he has taken care of Su Yung. Cue…..Susan, who wears glasses and a business suit. Our villains aren’t sure what to do.

Moose vs. Matthew Palmer

Non-title with a three minute time limit. Palmer slugs away to start but gets planted with a standing Rock Bottom (as Josh puts it). The slow beating continues as we’re already down to a minute and a half left. Palmer is tossed around but gets in a jumping knee to the face. Moose kicks him in the face and loads up the spear but here’s Willie Mack for a distraction, allowing the clock to run out at 3:00.

Rating: D. You can only get so much out of something like this and they did a fine enough job of advancing Mack vs. Moose by having Moose humiliated. Palmer was any warm body here and that’s all he needed to be. I’m still not sure what the endgame is with Moose as TNA World Champion and the longer it goes, the more I don’t think Impact knows either.

Ethan Page is on a psychiatrist’s couch but the doctor keeps speaking in what sound like motivational poster cliches. Page thinks everyone around here is out to get him and yells at the doctor for not listening. It’s Karate Man, who calls Page a b****. They argue a bit and the match is made for Hard To Kill.

Here’s what’s coming at Genesis, Hard To Kill and next week.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

They start fighting during the entrances with Sami getting in a few chair shots. Eddie is back with some headbutts but chops the post by mistake. Sami steps over him for a low blow and we take a break before the bell. Back with Eddie getting in his own chair shot as the bell still hasn’t rung. Sami grabs the timekeeper’s hammer and knocks the chair into Eddie’s head.

The chair is thrown at Eddie’s head but Eddie headbutts his way out of a suplex through said chair. Eddie charges into a t-bone suplex through the chair though and they finally head inside for the bell. The slugout is on but Eddie shoves the referee down, allowing Sami to get in some more shots. They rake each others’ eyes and the referee is knocked down again, drawing the double DQ at 1:13.

Post match Eddie grabs Sami’s bat and stalks him but Sami pulls out the hacking phone to show Alisha Edwards trapped in a cage. Eddie goes after her but it’s Ken Shamrock jumping him from behind. Sami comes in and they wrap Eddie in barbed wire for a baseball bat shot to the face. Alisha is blamed as the villains leave to end the show. I really could go with this feud being done for good already as it isn’t quite as epic as Impact thinks it is.

Overall Rating: C-. The AEW addition to the show is rapidly dwindling in value as this show is becoming AEW’s playground. It’s starting to feel like when New Japan would come to Ring of Honor and that’s not a good idea. The rest of the show was the usual hit or miss effort, as there isn’t a big story or feud to point to at the moment. The show is just kind of coming and going most weeks as AEW is treated like this divine intervention that only serves the other company. Not a terrible show, but the sooner Omega and pals are gone, the better it is likely to be.

Results

Crazzy Steve b. KC Navarro, Ace Austin and Blake Christian – Middle rope DDT to Navarro

Cody Deaner/Joe Doering b. Cousin Jake/Rhino – Deaner DDT to Jake

Havok/Nevaeh b. Jazz/Jordynne Grace – Tombstone to Jazz

Matthew Palmer b. Moose – Time expired

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan went to a double DQ when the referee was knocked down

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2020
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews

So now that we know who shot the manager (yes the manager), it is now time to move towards Hard To Kill, meaning there are some stories that need to be set up. Last week’s show ended with Sami Callihan and Ken Shamrock being move evil than usual and we also have the Knockouts Tag Team Titles tournament. We could use something a little better than that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Bob Ryder.

Opening recap.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. XXXL

XXL jumps them to start but get low bridged to the floor for a dive from Sabin. Granted the two of them don’t go down but Sabin did hit the dive. Back in and we settle down to Sabin hammering on Larry, as Madison brings up a good point: why isn’t Lawrence D in jail after he SHOT JOHN E. BRAVO? My guess would be something about this match being shot before that segment but there is a good chance they won’t follow up on it anyway.

Acey comes in to slam Sabin but everything breaks down with the Guns kicking both of them down. A double shoulder drops Shelley though and it’s time to stomp away again. Larry gets two off a low superkick but Sabin comes in for the save sans tag. The standing Sliced Bread allows the tag to Sabin so house can be cleaned in a hurry.

Sabin gets driven into the corner though and it’s a backbreaker/running elbow combination for two. Everything breaks down and Larry misses a top rope splash, meaning it’s time for the superkicks. Acey gets knocked to the floor and some running kicks in the corner rock Larry. Skull And Bones (though I’m not sure they still call it that) finishes Larry at 9:23.

Rating: C+. I wouldn’t have bet on this one being so good but the Guns know how to put something like this together rather well and got the best out of the big guys. The Guns might not be the next top stars of the division but if their job is to have make other teams look better than they can otherwise, they’ll have a job around here for a long time to come. Now just figure out something with the Larry/Lawrence deal, please.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

We look back at Sami Callihan and Ken Shamrock attacking Eddie Edwards last week.

Scott D’Amore, with a bunch of security, suspends Ken Shamrock, who really doesn’t seem happy. Revenge is sworn.

John E. Bravo yells at XXXL, screaming that Larry D. should be in jail. Tommy Dreamer, now in a police shirt, comes in to say he’s going to arrest Larry. Since this is ridiculous, Larry asks about Dreamer’s authority. Dreamer pulls out….nothing actually, with Larry pointing out that he isn’t holding a badge. That doesn’t matter, because Dreamer wasn’t a real judge or lawyer but he knows Larry shot Bravo. Larry says he was set up so Dreamer wants to go downtown to straighten things out. A right hand drops Dreamer and XXXL leaves, with Bravo coming in to scream over Dreamer’s unconscious body. Oh the humanity.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Killer Kelly/Renee Michelle vs. Jazz/Jordynne Grace

Jazz, now bald, and Renee (Drake Maverick’s wife) are making their debuts. Grace headlocks Kelly down to start so Kelly does the same for a standoff. It’s off to Michelle vs. Jazz, with the latter taking her down without much effort. Grace comes back in for a double shoulder to Michelle, who manages to send Grace to the apron. We take a break and come back with Michelle chinlocking Grace.

Kelly comes in to kick Grace in the chest but Grace powers her way out of another choke. The hot tag brings in Jazz to take over on Kelly before handing it right back to Grace. Kelly hits a running dropkick in the corner but can’t get Grace in a fireman’s carry. The Grace Driver connects with Michelle having to make a save. Everything breaks down and the Jazz Stinger finishes Michelle at 12:23.

Rating: C-. It was as exciting as a match featuring Jazz as some legendary partner was going to be. This wasn’t designed to be anything competitive and while Grace and Jazz are kind of a random team, it makes more sense to have them go forward. Michelle and Kelly were just kind of there for the most part and I’m not sure if they are going to be sticking around.

Flashback Moment of the Week: the Motor City Machine Guns retain the Tag Team Titles over Generation Me (Young Bucks) at Final Resolution 2010.

Ethan Page knows everyone saw him lose to Swoggle last week but he has a plan to fix it all. As for Karl Anderson, why does he think it was Page who took out Doc Gallows? Well he did, so Anderson can face Page at Final Resolution. If Page wins, the North can have a title shot. Josh Alexander spends the entire time looking at Page like he has lost his mind.

A nervous Alisha doesn’t seem to care about Tenille Dashwood’s plans for them…because she needs to jump onto Sami Callihan’s back and choke him as hard as she can. Security breaks it up but Sami blows her a kiss.

Johnny Swinger vs. Cody Deaner

Cody clotheslines him out of the corner as commentary goes over everything Tommy Dreamer does around here. Cue Eric Young and Joe Doering to jump Cousin Jake and then Cody for the DQ at 47 seconds.

Post match we get the same beatdown and the same beatdown. We also get the same lack of an explanation of WHO THE HECK JOE DOERING IS (on this show that is, as they only explained it at Turning Point). I’m already not a fan of Young and this is making it even worse.

Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee come up to James Mitchell to ask if he has turned Su Yung into Susie yet. It isn’t that easy so the women offer to get Yung in the ring.

The Deaners rant about Young and Doering because Cody was there to drive Young around when he started wrestling. Next week, Cody is proving he isn’t a nobody. Good luck with that kind of acting performance.

Here are Deonna Purrazzo and Kimber Lee for a chat. Purrazzo says Su Yung can get her rematch right now so here’s Yung….and here’s James Mitchell as Lee and Purrazzo bail. Mitchell talks about how Yung has been a thorn in his side for too long so it’s time to pay. Cue the Bridesmaids so Purrazzo and Lee jump Yung from behind. Yung loads up the mist but Purrazzo hits her in the throat in a smart move. Cosa Nostra knocks Yung out and the Bridesmaids take her away. I liked it.

Moose comes up to Chris Bey in the back and wishes him luck against Swann. Bey says he knows what’s going on here: Moose is nice to him now and gets the first World Title shot. Moose says not quite, because he just hurts people. You take power instead of giving it and when Moose wants the title, he’s taking it too.

Karl Anderson says Ethan Page is on for Final Resolution.

X-Division Title: Rohit Raju vs. Crazzy Steve

Steve is challenging and needs to put his stuffed monkey on the post to start. Raju jumps him from behind and gets punched out to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Steve tries a full nelson before twisting Raju’s neck around. A figure four necklock over the ropes has Raju in trouble but he’s right back with a jumping Downward Spiral.

We take a break and come back with Raju biting Steve’s head in the corner, followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Raju hammers away and gets two more off a snap suplex. The armbar doesn’t last long so Raju kicks him down instead. Steve gets in a shot to the face though and a high crossbody gets two. Raju is back with a jumping knee to the face but Steve pulls him down into an Octopus on the mat. The feet in the ropes are good for the break so Steve tries a sunset flip. Raju sits down on it though and grabs the rope to retain at 11:41.

Rating: C. I still can’t get over how much Raju has improved this year. He has gone from someone who has absolutely nothing to offer around here to someone who gives you a perfectly acceptable match more often than not. Throw in some good promos and they have a little something with him. That’s not much, but the improvement is near remarkable.

Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan are looking forward to winning the Tag Team Titles and having all the money. Fallah Bahh comes in to say they stole the money and he has seen the video from last week. The women say they don’t have the money and hide it behind their backs, while saying they’ll have it next week. Bahh leaves and Johnny Swinger comes up to proposition them. It doesn’t go well.

Brian Myers comes up to mock Crazzy Steve and TJP for their plan not working. TJP challenges Myers and it’s accepted for some point in the future.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Willie Mack vs. Chris Bey

We even get a Lucha Underground reference during Mack’s entrance. Bey slaps him in the face so Mack does the same, setting up a nipple twist in the corner. The Thesz press into the right hands keep Bey in trouble but Mack gets sent outside. That’s fine with Mack, who drops him back first onto the apron. Bey knocks him off the apron to tweak the knee though and we take a break.

Back with Bey cranking on said knee and chop blocking him down to cut off the comeback attempt. The half crab doesn’t last long as Mack gets up and blasts him with a clothesline. The swinging slam connects but Mack’s knee is barely holding up. A knee drop gets two on Bey, even though it bangs up Mack’s knee even more. Bey takes out the knee again though and slaps Mack in the face. That just earns him the Stunner to give Mack the pin at 12:57.

Rating: C+. Other than a pretty odd choice for an ending, this worked out well. Granted that shouldn’t be much of a surprise given that the two guys are both rather talented and good at this wrestling thing. Bey shouldn’t be losing on the way to a title shot, but it’s not like he’s the really big threat to the World Title anyway. He shouldn’t be losing, but you’re almost never going to get logical booking.

Post match Moose comes in to jump Mack but Rich Swann makes the save. Bey uses the distraction to take Swann down though and poses to end the show. So….yeah Bey is the #1 contender for Final Resolution and Moose is the big final boss so Mack won here because….Impact?

Overall Rating: C. Well it was better than last week, though that isn’t exactly saying much. Above all else, the biggest improvement was focusing on the stories that aren’t built around….well everything that the Bravo story is built around. The Dreamer stuff is becoming an internal joke and that kind of sort of makes things better, though it still is a low level tag wrestler shooting a manager while an alleged legend investigates, so how much good can come from it? The rest of the show was better, but it’s still not exactly a thrilling show.

Results

Motor City Machine Guns b. XXXL – Skull And Bones to Larry D.

Jazz/Jordynne Grace b. Killer Kelly/Renee Michelle – Jazz Stinger to Michelle

Cody Deaner b. Johnny Swinger via DQ when Eric Young interfered

Rohit Raju b. Crazzy Steve – Rollup while grabbing the rope

Willie Mack b. Chris Bey – Stunner

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

WWE vs. ECW Head To Head
Date: June 7, 2006
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,700
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

This is a special show to help hype up One Night Stand while also giving us more of an introduction to the show. It was actually shown live for a bit of a change of pace and that might make things a little more interesting. I’m not sure what to expect here but hopefully it lives up to ECW’s positive hype so far. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Mick Foley gave Raw and Smackdown a pep talk.

Paul Heyman gave ECW one of their own and it’s a little bit better, believe it or not.

Opening sequence.

Commentary bickers at each other and Tazz and Lawler have to be held back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title and No DQ. They shake hands to start as commentary is going at it already, which is likely going to be the case all night. The feeling out process goes nowhere to start and the fans are rather behind Van Dam. A gorilla press drop into a standing moonsault gives Van Dam two as Joey rants about knowing move names and Tazz being there to analyze them. Rob drops him onto the barricade but misses the spinning kick, allowing Rey to hit a heck of a plancha to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Rey getting crotched on top so Rey can hit the top rope kick to the face. A slingshot legdrop hits Rey and Rob kicks him into the corner. Rob skateboards a chair into Rey’s face into the corner for two but tries to roll forward with the chair in hand, dropping it on the mat in the process. That lets Rey catch him on top for the super sitout bulldog onto the chair but Dropping The Dime hits chair instead. The Five Star finishes Mysterio.

Rating: C+. It was fun while it lasted, though the No DQ stuff added nothing and could have been completely dropped without changing much of anything. On top of that, you have Mysterio losing again, as they are now inventing new shows to have him get pinned elsewhere. That might not be the best idea when you are setting up the big title match with Sabu, but at least Rob got a nice win. There probably should be someone else for him to face, but at least he got the win.

The ECW locker room celebrates as Rey struggles to his feet and picks up the title.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a chat. He isn’t happy with what happened last night when Randy Orton attacked him. Angle has broken a lot of ankles over the years and none of them was any sweeter than Orton’s. This Sunday, Orton and Angle are facing off for the first time ever (Huh?) and it’s Orton vs. ECW Angle. Cue Orton, to say that going from Raw to ECW is like going from being in a blockbuster to being in adult films. Yeah Orton may be facing ECW’s Kurt Angle, but Angle will be facing Monday Night Raw’s Randy Orton. Angle is happy though because he isn’t going to have to answer to anyone, including Vince McMahon. Orton rants about Angle costing him the World Title and now it’s payback time. Angle: “What the h*** are you talking about Randy?” Orton says it’s his destiny to destroy ECW and it’s time to start on Sunday.

Mickie James vs. Jazz

Non-title. Jazz works on the arm to start and kicks at the ribs to slow him down. They head outside with Jazz hitting a Thesz press off the apron to take her down again. Back in Jazz hits the Jazz Stinger for two but the MickieDT is good for the pin in a hurry. That was Mickie’s only significant offense.

After looking at ECW beating him down last week, John Cena talks about what happens if Rob Van Dam beats him on Sunday. This title, which was held by Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin, will be the ECW World Title and he will look like a goat. If Cena wins though, he’s in the middle of the biggest riot in sports entertainment history. He’ll start fighting tonight against the homicidal, genocidal dance recital Sabu, who has messed with the wrong fire breathing son of a b****. Cena was fired up here and it showed.

Here’s Paul Heyman to hype up the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi next week and run down the One Night Stand card. That’s on Sunday though, and for those of you who aren’t exactly familiar, here’s what you can get from an ECW pay per view. We see a highlight package on the outstanding One Night Stand 2005 and now I’m a little more interested in Sunday.

Kurt Angle fires up the ECW locker room.

Big Show fires up the WWE locker room.

Battle Royal

Big Show, Finlay, Shelton Benjamin, Matt Hardy, Edge, Randy Orton, Carlito, Tatanka, Mark Henry, Bobby Lashley, Balls Mahoney, Kurt Angle, Little Guido, Terry Funk, Justin Credible, Sandman, Tony Mamaluke, Tommy Dreamer, Al Snow, Stevie Richards

This is a weird team battle royal as whichever team has someone left standing at the end wins. Dreamer chases Edge on the floor to start and the brawl is on in a hurry. Henry is dumped in seconds and Hardy follows him out. Show punches Guido out and Dreamer gets rid of Tatanka. Sandman dropkick (!) Carlito out and Edge, on the floor but not eliminated, helps pull Dreamer out.

We take a break and come back with Edge pulling Funk out and Finlay tossing Credible. Shelton kicks Snow out and Lashley LAUNCHES Mahoney out. Sandman and Shelton are tossed as well and we’re down to Finlay, Orton, Show, Edge (on the floor) and Angle. That means it’s time to snap off the suplexes and Angle Slam but Finlay is back up to put Angle on top. That’s broken up and Angle catapults Finlay outside. Edge comes in and gets suplexed out but Orton dumps Angle to win. Or not actually, as Show pulls off the shirt to show off the ECW colors and dump Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of something like this and it was only so interesting. At the end of the day this was all about the big surprise at the end and it worked out well enough. Big Show is someone who adds a little star power to ECW but at the end of the day, how far can you really get with him after everything else he has done? They did have some star power in here though and that’s the kind of thing that can help give ECW a bit of a boost.

Post match Angle hugs Show in the, uh, special moment.

ECW celebrates in the back.

Edge vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore and Terry Funk, Mick Foley and Lita are here as well. Dreamer uses a barbed wire baseball bat to knock Edge’s chair out of his hands and they fight outside. A few right hands have Edge in more trouble but he gets in a weapon shot to take over. Back in and Edge gets sent head first into the trashcan but a drop toehold sends Dreamer face first into the back of an open chair.

A running trashcan lid shot gets two on Dreamer and the implant DDT onto the can makes it even worse. Dreamer fights up and ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running dropkick to drive a chair into his face. Commentary bickers about what is real wrestling, with Lawler criticizing tables and Styles ranting about the leprechaun on Smackdown.

Everything breaks down and Foley uses barbed wire to choke Funk. Edge tries a superbomb through the table but Dreamer backdrops him…not through the table, as Edge just lands on his head instead (egads). The Death Valley Driver through the table gets two as Lita makes the save, setting up the spear to pin Dreamer.

Rating: C. It was brutal and violent as it needed to be and that’s the kind of preview that they needed for Sunday. I’m not sure what to expect at the pay per view but dang it could be a heck of a fight if they let these people be themselves. They have done a rather good job of building things up, with Funk looking like only he can. Edge and Dreamer should be perfect additions too, and I’m wanting to see the match.

Post match the brawling continues until they go their separate ways.

See No Evil video.

Post break, Foley, with his eye cut open, it sitting in a chair in the ring and asking who the fans are to think that he sold out. He loved ECW but left to make his fame and fortune in WWE. The difference between himself and Tommy Dreamer is that he isn’t a w****. Years ago, Foley pulled a sock out of his pants and made Vince McMahon laugh so he was famous. Dreamer never did that though because he still has the ECW letters. Foley watched the Wrestlemania match with Edge back but maybe it wasn’t as good as he thought it was. Now they’re going to the Hammerstein Ballroom where 2,500 people are going to want their blood.

Foley has known Funk for years and he is the greatest wrestler that Foley has ever seen. He lit Funk on fire in Philadelphia but Funk put his arm around him. Now Foley doesn’t want that anymore, because it’s time to fight again. You have seen Foley destroyed and thrown off a Cell but that is nothing compared to what he is going to see on Sunday because ECW is calling his name. Foley is going to show you something different at One Night Stand and it will never be the same. This was excellent, as Foley can talk like few others and was on his game here.

Tazz and Lawler get into it again and this time it actually gets physical until security breaks it up (Joey: “LET THEM GO!”).

Post break, everything has settled back down.

We look back at Cena getting beaten down on Raw.

Sabu vs. John Cena

Non-title and Extreme Rules. Cena slugs away to start and knocks Sabu into the corner, setting up the snap suplex for two. A hard whip into the corner has Sabu in trouble but he sends Cena outside for the big dive. Back in and the triple jump moonsault gets two on Cena. Air Sabu hits in the corner for two more and they fight to the floor with Cena crashing out again. That’s good for two back inside but another Air Sabu is countered into the FU. The STF goes on but Big Show runs in….for the DQ/no contest because WWE doesn’t have the EXTREME RULES down yet.

Rating: C-. The ending hurt this a lot and that’s not exactly encouraging before ECW is back. What we got was a good sampling of what Sabu can do, but you never know what you might be seeing when things are back full time. Cena wasn’t going to lose to Sabu, but at least he got some revenge after Raw.

The big brawl is on to end the show with Joey and Tazz talking a lot of trash.

Overall Rating: C. What matters here is the fact that they are treating ECW as a big deal. That worked very well tonight and I want to see where things go with the pay per view as well as the new show. However, I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to believe that things will work out fine when they are back full time, as WWE tends to lose interest in a hurry. What we got worked well enough, but it was hardly some blow away show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 6, 2002
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Maybe a new month will help things out a little bit. I know I say this every week but it almost can’t get worse than last week with Undertaker very slowly beating Hulk Hogan down because Hogan can barely move at this point in his career. The pay per view really can’t get here soon enough as I can’t imagine they’ll keep the title on Hogan any longer. Let’s get to it.

Oh and as of today: it’s WWE. I’ll put the over/under on mentions of the new name at 5000.

We open with…..gardening? An older woman chops up her bushes to get them into a perfect WWE logo, which she then lights on fire. The new tagline: Get the F Out. I actually like that as it gets straight to the point.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jazz is defending, there are no disqualifications and Steven Richards is in the champ’s corner. The fans want puppies as Jazz sends Trish into the corner to start, only to miss a splash. Richards offers a distraction though and Trish’s rollup goes nowhere. JR says this is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Women’s Title and I think we’re all glad that name didn’t last.

Jazz throws her around with some butterfly suplexes for two, followed by the double chickenwing facebuster to send Lawler into hysterics. A Chick Kick and Stratusfaction has the champ beaten but Richards makes another save by superkicking Trish down to give Jazz the pin.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this that I don’t get? The No DQ stuff could have been forgotten with a simple referee distraction but to be fair I’d probably call that stupid. It might be easier to just have them do a regular match and scrap Richards as a whole but then we couldn’t do the following.

Bubba Ray Dudley with a Bubba Bomb, Raven with the Raven Effect, Justin Credible with a superkick, Crash Holly with a missile dropkick, Bubba with a trashcan shot and Trish stealing the title and a blinded Bubba (fire extinguisher) powerbombing Trish through a table so Richards can steal the pin gives us six Hardcore Title changes in about two minutes because old jokes are funnier when you do them for the third time in less than two months. Bubba takes Trish to the back because that makes up for powerbombing her through a table.

Here’s the NWO for a chat due to reasons of WE’RE TELLING YOU THEY WERE A GOOD IDEA AND YOU CAN JUST DEAL WITH IT! Show lets us see him turning heel and joining the team in a big moment. Two years ago, he was in the main event of Wrestlemania while Austin was hurt. Now it’s 2002 and he spent Wrestlemania in a restaurant pretending to have a good time instead of being on the show. Last month he was in a preliminary match on Heat while Austin had a #1 contenders match. Show is a monster that no one can stop and now the NWO is even bigger.

This brings out Ric Flair to say he wishes he could have Big Show’s natural gifts but he’s a sixteen time World Champion because he didn’t whine and cry. It’s really more about when Flair didn’t cry but we’re not quite to that point yet. Flair tells Show to deal with it and announces the NWO vs. Bradshaw/Austin/Flair, which he already announced last week. Hall promises a history changing announcement for later tonight.

European Title: William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle due to Regal attacking him over the weekend. He’s ready to fight anyway and jumps on Regal’s back, earning himself a stomp to the foot and a slam onto the ropes. A simple leglock makes Spike tap in about 35 seconds. That would be two title changes in 40 seconds combined for this belt.

Regal beats Spike up even more after the match. D’Lo Brown of all people comes out for the save.

Flair rants to Arn Anderson in a nothing segment.

Booker T. goes to 7-11 for a Slurpee and is annoyed that there’s no Booker T. cup. He runs into Goldust in a Latrell Spreewell jersey with headphones around his neck. Goldust has followed him from his hotel (Booker: “YOU BEEN FOLLOWING ME???”) and wants to talk strategy for their match tonight. Booker seems to agree but has to go. Goldust: “If you’ll let me have a drink of your Slurpee, I’ll let you have a bite of my weiner.” Booker responds as you would expect anyone to if he’s offered a bite of a hot dog. Funny stuff as always.

We look at Planet Stasiak costing Brock Lesnar and himself a tag match at Insurrextion over the weekend.

Flair finds an APA hat in the NWO dressing room. Bradshaw doesn’t seem like one to just leave his hat laying around.

Undertaker arrives and assigns someone to watch his bike.

The NWO is standing near the entrance, seemingly waiting on somebody.

Planet Stasiak vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock fires off the shoulders in the corner to start as we get the GOLDBERG chants. The spinebuster looks to finish but Heyman wants an example made. An F5 and a boot on the chest is enough for the easy pin. Another squash.

Hulk Hogan has stolen Undertaker’s motorcycle because Undertaker left the keys in the ignition.

GET THE F OUT! It’s the same thing as earlier as the company is still WWE about an hour later.

Here’s Hogan on the motorcycle to Undertaker’s music. I really could have gone my whole life without seeing Hulk Hogan coming out to Limp Bizkit. Hulk gets right to the point by calling Undertaker out for a fight and threatening his motorcycle to sweeten the pot a bit. Undertaker comes out and tells Hogan not to mess with the bike. Hogan isn’t impressed and swears a bit before turning the bike on. It moves a whole three feet before the engine stalls, leaving Undertaker to…..stand right there and not do a thing.

Hogan finally leaves the bike on the ramp and runs (work with me here) after Undertaker as we cut to the commentators. You can hear the engine revving as Hogan is apparently still out there trying to get the thing to work. Well done by JR and King to not die of laughter here. The chase is FINALLY on with Hogan driving the bike around backstage (had to do it as the pre-tape shows him on the bike backstage). He changes pace a bit by driving around even more, all while shouting for Undertaker.

Hogan eventually parks it in front of a semi truck and gets inside as we go to a break. Back with Hogan crushing the bike. You know, a month and a half ago he used a similar truck to crush an ambulance with Rock inside so this is real progress for him. This was WAY too long and I’m amazed that both guys didn’t just walk off the show when the bike stalled. What a sign indeed.

Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T./Eddie Guerrero

Van Dam and Guerrero hit the mat to start with Rob monkey flipping him down but missing a kick to the face. Instead a faceplant out of an electric chair sends Eddie crawling over to the corner for the tag to Booker. More kicks have Mr. T. in trouble and it’s off to Jeff as things speed up again.

Booker finally gets in a shot on Hardy and it’s time for a face to be in peril. An elbow to the jaw sets up the Spinarooni for two (Lawler: “Dagnabbit.”) but Jeff comes back with a dropkick (totally missed) and the real hot tag brings in Van Dam. Everything breaks down again and Rolling Thunder gets two on Eddie. Cue Goldust for a failed distraction so a Swanton from Jeff and the Five Star from Rob can put Eddie away.

Rating: C+. These guys are becoming the lone bright spots on this show and it’s a bit disappointing to have them all in the same match. At least it was one of the better segments so far this week with a good looking ending. You certainly can’t fault Eddie for losing when he takes back to back finishers so he was even a bit protected in the loss.

Terri has challenged Molly to a swimsuit contest later tonight with a contest between pure and wholesome or what’s under her robe.

Flair and Anderson think Bradshaw has joined the NWO, guaranteeing that he hasn’t.

It’s time for the swimsuit contest and of course Lawler is in charge. Terri comes out and Lawler is praying for a thong. Molly brings a pair of flippers for more proper swimming attire (JR: “The Hilary Clinton of the WWF.”). Molly decides she’s going first and, after putting on her swimming cap, reveals a conservative one piece with a skirt. It looks like a figure skating costume, meaning it looks like what a lot of run of the mill women would wear to a pool every day.

Naturally Lawler and the crowd think it’s horrible and treat Molly like she’s wearing a full body suit with only her ankles showing. Terri reveals exactly what you would expect and wins because fans go for the orange skin with countable ribs look. Molly lays her out with a flipper in the only heelish thing she’s done in the entire segment.

Flair goes to Bradshaw’s locker room (Bradshaw has his own locker room?) and finds Kane’s mask, which X-Pac stole weeks ago.

After a break, Flair runs into Bradshaw and demands an explanation. Bradshaw says he’ll see Flair in the ring.

Undertaker finds his bike. Where in the world has he been for the last half hour? He tries to pull the bike out from under the truck and then stomps on the bike, likely thinking that floating out of the top of a casket after cutting a promo to a camera hanging from the lid wasn’t so bad after all. Undertaker leaves and Kevin Nash arrives for the surprise.

NWO vs. Ric Flair/Bradshaw/Steve Austin

Austin and X-Pac start and it’s a spinebuster each for X-Pac and Hall. Steve cleans house with right hands but can’t get a Stunner on Hall. Instead it’s off to the Big Show for some choking in the corner and a backdrop that sends Austin flying. You don’t see Austin in the air that often. Bradshaw tags himself in for the fall away slam on Hall as JR thinks there’s only one Kane mask in existence. You know, because they’re not sold at the merchandise stands.

Show comes back in and throws Bradshaw around “like a double cheeseburger.” Who throws double cheeseburgers around? I’ve never been to Oklahoma but are things really that different there? The bloody (thanks to some Big Show headbutts) Bradshaw is beaten down by all three NWOites with Show headbutting him into the bad corner. A big boot finally drops X-Pac and it’s Flair coming in with the chops.

Everything breaks down and Bradshaw’s Clotheslines lays out X-Pac but Big Show pulls him outside for a chokeslam through the announcers’ table. Austin finally goes after Show (which is the point of this whole thing) but has to Stun Hall and X-Pac at the same time. Some Big Show chops have Austin in trouble and he falls out to the floor. Austin actually goes aerial again with a middle rope Thesz press to put Show down but the Stunner is easily blocked and we get a ref bump.

A low blow sets up the Stunner but there’s no referee. Of course there isn’t because this hasn’t gone on long enough. Flair hits Austin with a chair to go full heel and destroys the knee to make things even worse. With Austin down, Flair makes himself and Big Show vs. Austin at the pay per view. Ric grabs a Figure Four as the match is a no contest.

Rating: D-. The length here is the big problem as this went on for over fifteen minutes and set up the most obvious ending they could have gone with after eliminating every other possible option. Taking out the fact that Nash was just a decoy and what else could it have been other than Flair turning heel? It makes sense, but it was really tiresome having to sit through the APA hat/Kane mask stuff earlier. Just WAY too long here though and it really dragged things down even further than they were before.

Overall Rating: F+. Raw is now beyond free fall and has hit the ground, exploding on impact. Other than the same four midcard guys having their regularly good matches (less than six minutes this week), I can’t think of a single thing on this show that isn’t either too short, boring, offensive or the pit of torture that is the main event.

Raw has had six shows since the Brand Split. Here are the main event matches/segments which go along with Hogan/HHH as World Champion:

Kane vs. X-Pac/Austin contract signing

Austin vs. Hall

Austin/Bradshaw vs. NWO/Undertaker

Austin/Big Show vs. NWO

Hogan vs. Regal/Undertaker beats Hogan down

Austin/Bradshaw/Flair vs. NWO

Here’s the thing: other than two major pops for Hogan, is there any reason that Austin isn’t in Hogan’s spot? Hogan has a long history with Hall, Nash and Flair while Austin has a long history with HHH and Undertaker. Much more importantly though, Austin may be a shell of his glory days but he’s WAY ahead of Hogan at this point. Hogan’s matches so far have been embarrassing while you could at least pencil in Austin for watchable at worst. Couple that with swapping the NWO out for ANYTHING else and this show is instantly better.

Raw is a disaster right now with two major angles being huge wastes of everyone’s time and it’s turned into one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in a long time. I know people would get sick of the upcoming HHH and Shawn Michaels dominance but it puts this nonsense to shame. At least you could get a decent main event, which we haven’t gotten so far in six weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

ECW is in trouble at this point and Justin Credible isn’t making things any easier. He’s been champion for three months now and he’s really not that interesting. With Storm out of the way, the match with Dreamer is the next logical step for him as he basically stole the belt from Tommy, but that still doesn’t make him interesting on top of the company, especially with Van Dam sitting there in a meaningless match against Anton. Let’s get to it.

We open with Jasmin St. Claire on the beach in a very small swimsuit with the Blue Boy (formerly the Blue Meanie but now about 100lbs lighter) talking about how fat people are. They run into a guy in good shape who Blue Boy calls fat. A fight nearly breaks out but Jasmin hits him low.

They make out on the beach but we pan over to Sinister Minister. Apparently Blue Boy sold his soul to be thin and have Jasmin. The Minister talks about how we’re in Los Angeles where things happen when it gets hot. He references a lot of WWF pay per views before talking about the main event. We pan over again to see Mikey Whipwreck buried up to his neck in sane. Minister laughs a lot and we go to the arena.

Joel and Joey are in the ring to open things up. The ramp is gone again. Styles is glad to be on the west coast, though it was ECW’s lone appearance here. Joel’s rhyme is especially filthy this time so here’s Cyrus to cut him off. Gertner gets on the apron but comes back inside as Cyrus is asking the people if they know who he is. He brags about deporting Super Crazy (he’ll be back) and taking the TV Title from Tajiri. Cyrus used the ECW on TNN budget to promote Rollerjam (a roller derby show) and stripped Rob Van Dam of the TV Title. Joel cuts him off and says he doesn’t want to be on TNN.

Cyrus says he’s canceled ECW and threatens to turn out Gertner’s lights. He says Joel delivers the fat gay demographic so Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. They argue some more with Joel saying he helps Cyrus but Cyrus counters by saying Joel never paid a due in wrestling. Joey says he has an IQ over 140 and went to an Ivy League college so he doesn’t need to put up with Cyrus. It’s been a pleasure working with Joey, but Joel is done. Cyrus gloats but Gertner sneaks up on him and gets in a few good shots before security drags him away.

Big Sal comes in and beats up some security and referees before his match.

Balls Mahoney vs. Big Sal E. Graziano

Balls has to beat up the newest member of the FBI Tony Mamaluke but gets decked by Sal. Mahoney hammers away and kicks Sal low before nailing him with a chair. Sal won’t go down and chokeslams Balls, followed by a belly to belly suplex for the pin.

Rob Van Dam has something new tonight: the Van Terminator. He’s teased that move for a few weeks now but no one knows what it is.

We see Bobby Eaton (a very talented wrestler from the 1980s who was still better than most of ECW’s roster at this point) appearing at the ECW Arena to go after C.W. Anderson for disrespecting the Anderson Family.

Simon Diamond/Swinger/C.W. Anderon vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring/Kid Kash

Diamond has dropped most of his entourage and is part of a tag team with Swinger (a muscular guy with long hair and that’s about the extent of things that differentiates him from others). Anderson is on his own now as well and recently broke Kash’s four month undefeated streak. The other four guys are decent teams but the Tag Team Titles remain vacant.

Simon and Kash get things going with a technical sequence and the fans already declare it boring. Kash nails a hard chop in the corner before they kick each other away to give us a standoff. Anderson comes in but is quickly taken down and nailed with a middle rope elbow drop. Doring and Roadkill crush Swinger and Diamond in the corner before clearing the ring. Kash nails a slingshot hurricanrana over the top to the floor to take Anderson down.

Back in and Kash hits a springboard clothesline to Anderson before another hurricanrana sends Simon back to the floor. The numbers finally catch up to Kash and Swinger takes over. Anderson comes in but charges into an elbow in the corner, followed by a moonsault press to put him down. It’s off to Doring vs. Swinger with Danny cleaning house with jawbreakers.

Simon comes back with a cobra clutch legsweep to drop Doring before Diamond plants him for two. Anderson blasts him in the jaw with the left hand but Doring slams him face first into the mat. The fans are going NUTS for Roadkill here and they get exactly what they want. Roadkill comes in and cleans house, sending all three villains to the floor for a big dive from Doring.

Kash hits an even bigger one but Roadkill tops them all by taking out all five guys. Back in and Roadkill gets crotched on the top, allowing Simon and Swinger to double team Doring with a backbreaker/reverse DDT combination. The Anderson spinebuster plants Kash for two but Roadkill breaks it up with a legdrop to the back of the head. Kash breaks up the Problem Solver (double team elevated DDT) to Doring, who nails the double arm DDT on Diamond. The Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gives Kash the pin over Swinger.

Rating: B-. Nice six man tag here but the booking is a little confusing. If Simon and Swinger is supposed to be the new big team, why would you have them lose here? It’s a shame that the tag team division is starting to pick up some steam, just as there are no belts for anyone to win.

Rhino likes putting Sandman’s wife in the hospital and Sandman’s kids watching her.

Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino

Corino is still Network and has Victory with him. Lynn chops away in the corner to start and scores with a middle rope bulldog. A clothesline sends Steve to the floor and Lynn’s big dive takes both of them out. Back in and Jerry is sent to the apron but he sends Steve down onto the floor to take over again. A tornado DDT onto the floor has Corino busted open already. Jerry gouges at the cut and hammers away back inside.

Corino gets punched in the corner but he’s still able to come out with an atomic drop. The blond hair is already half covered in blood. Some left hands and the Bionic Elbow put Lynn down for two and a powerslam gets the same. They head back to the floor with Corino making sexual remarks about some fans’ mothers before whipping Lynn into the barricade.

Back in and a t-bone suplex stops Lynn’s offense for two. Victory throws in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it into Corino’s face to put both guys down. Lynn hammers away and the blood is just flowing from Corino’s head. Another chair is brought in and Lynn DDTs Corino off the top rope onto the steel for two. Jerry is all ticked off and rubs Steve’s blood on his own face before writing DIE on his stomach. Corino comes back with a superkick for two but goes up, only to get taken down in an awkward looking attempt at a reverse DDT. It was closer to a Russian legsweep than anything else and gives Jerry a two count.

Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (a reverse Twist of Fate) for two of his own but Victory tries to bring in some powder. The referee gets blinded instead so there’s no one to count. Corino takes his boot off and lays Jerry out again but there’s no referee. Victory hits Lynn in the head with the cowbell for two and Jack is stunned. They trade rollups for two each until Lynn counters a backslide into a cradle piledriver for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a solid brawl but as usual, I don’t get the booking. If you want Corino to look like a big deal, why have him lose? Jerry winning makes sense, but you would think there’s a better opponent for him. I say you would think that, because the roster is so thin at this point that there really isn’t anyone else for him to face. More great blood from Corino though.

We see almost half of Sandman vs. Rhino from Hardcore Heaven. This is more pay per view filler which they really shouldn’t need at this point.

Sandman, with Lori next to him, rants about what Rhino did and making him go see her in the hospital every day. Rhino sneaks in and nails Sandman in the head with a Singapore cane before taking Lori to a toilet to try to drown her. Sandman gets up for the save as security drags them off.

Dawn Marie comes out to do commentary for no apparent reason.

Here’s New Jack with a broken leg, only to get jumped by Da Baldies (Angel and DeVito, the only two left). Nova and Chris Chetti run in for the save and we have a tag match.

Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova

Nova is dressed as the Flash now and Chetti has bleach blond hair. Angel gets beaten up to start and Da Baldies are quickly knocked to the floor. Chetti and Nova both hit big dives to take out a Baldie each before Chetti tries to fight them both off on his own. Angel hits a nice jawbreaker to put Chris down but Nova misses a Swanton Bomb. DeVito hits a sitout Rock Bottom but misses a moonsault instead of covering. Nova pops back up and hits rolling piledrivers into a helicopter bomb for two on DeVito, followed by the Amityville Horror and the Tidal Wave gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with Da Baldies basically getting squashed. Nova and Chetti really need something to do at this point as they’re bored beating all these teams. If only there were some belts for them to win or something like that. They’re barely breaking a sweat with these matches anymore and there’s nothing for them to win. It’s a big waste of a good act.

Tommy Dreamer talks about working at a pizzeria but never making enough money. Then he got into the wrestling business looking for the big payoff. He’s lost money, friends and jobs because of this and he wouldn’t change a thing. Francine and Justin Credible are all that stand in his way of the big payoff tonight and he wants to do things the hard way.

Dreamer nearly has a breakdown in front of the camera, ranting about how tired he is of being on a network that doesn’t respect them and everyone taking away what they created. He bangs his head into a locker and pulls at the cut….as we hear the ring announcer saying this is a three way dance because the production values aren’t very high.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Psicosis is a former ECW and WCW wrestler, making his return after about five years away. During the entrances, Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister hit the ring and we’re making it a four way.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey, in a suit jacket, plants Psicosis to start and Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Whipwreck nails a quick Whippersnapper on Guido and throws him outside, setting up a huge dive. Tony Mamaluke (the other FBI member) comes in but gets dropped by Mikey. That’s the end of Mikey’s early success though as he dives on Big Sal, only to get rammed into the post. Back inside and Psicosis drops a guillotine legdrop on Mikey for the elimination less than two minutes in. Why in the world was he even added? If nothing else, it’s one more paycheck Heyman had to hand out.

Psicosis kicks Tajiri in the leg but gets armdragged down. A standing hurricanrana drops him as well as Guido is nowhere in sight. Tajiri gets his throat snapped across the top rope before Guido returns to fight Psicosis in the aisle. That’s fine with Tajiri who takes them both out with an Asai Moonsault. A hard kick to the head stuns Guido and a superplex plants him. Psicosis adds a moonsault legdrop for two before walking into the Kiss of Death (Tomikaze). Tajiri kicks Guido in the head and hits a German suplex on Psicosis for the elimination.

We’re down to Tajiri vs. Guido with the latter getting chopped in the corner. Tajiri tries to take him down in a powerbomb style pin but Guido keeps bridging up in a nice series of counters. The Tarantula has some more success for Tajiri and the fans are way behind him. The handspring elbow drops Guido again and it’s chair time.

Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides the chair into Guido’s face. Back up and Guido kicks the chair into Tajiri’s face and hits a bad looking middle rope Fameasser to send Tajiri outside. The fans inquire about their pizza before they slug it out in the corner. They chop it out until Tajiri blows the green mist in his eyes and hits a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about it. We’ve seen almost this same match about seven or eight times now and whoever wins is only going to be elevated for a little while before being dropped back down the card in favor of Sandman getting title matches despite giving wrestling a bad name every time he has one of his disasters. The match was decent enough but it’s not going to mean anything.

Justin Credible says tonight, ECW introduces barbed wire to pay per view. It’s going to be hanging above the ring in the Stairway to Hell match. Ignore the fact that there was barbed wire at Barely Legal.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.

A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.

Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.

We go back to the commentary booth where we’re reminded Dawn Marie is still there. She hasn’t been heard in nearly an hour. Joey gets in another argument with Cyrus.

Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton

Anton is Network and has a gimmick of clapping over his head. His finishing move: the Clapper (Sharpshooter). Even his song is about giving people the Clap. A quick kick to the face drops Anton and a quick Rolling Thunder gets two. Anton bails to the floor but Rob follows him out and nails a moonsault off the barricade. The spinning kick from the apron drives a chair into Anton’s back before taking him back inside for a delayed gorilla press.

A middle rope moonsault gets two for Rob as this has been one sided so far. Van Dam goes up for a Van Daminator but Anton takes the chair away and pelts it at Rob’s head to take over. Another chair shot has Rob in trouble and Anton bulldogs him off the apron and throat first onto the barricade. Back in and Rob gets tied in the Tree of Woe before he gets planted with a belly to back superplex for two. Scotty takes him down and makes Van Dam do the Clap, only to tick Rob off again.

They head outside again with Anton sending him face first into the barricade. Back to the Tree of Woe but Rob gets his foot free for a very weak kick to send a chair into Scotty’s face. Alfonso’s chair is intercepted but Rob kicks Anton in the face to put both guys down. The chair is skateboarded into Scotty’s face for two and the split legged moonsault gets the same. Alfonso puts the chair onto Anton for Rolling Thunder but Anton gets in a chair shot to the knee.

The Clapper (and a bad one) goes on but Scotty lets go and puts the hold on Alfonso. One of the most telegraphed Van Daminators yet makes the save and there’s the Five Star but Rob doesn’t cover. Instead Scotty crawls into the corner as the fans chant Terminator. Rob climbs the ropes as Alfonso puts a chair in Anton’s face. Van Dam gets a huge springboard and dropkicks the chair into Scotty’s face for the pin. So the big move was basically a springboard Van Daminator.

Rating: D+. This match’s problem can be boiled down to one idea: Scotty Anton is not very good. Back in WCW he never could do anything beyond basic moves and that’s still the case here. It’s nothing special to see and the match was really dull as a result. This was yet another waste of Van Dam, though he’s still the most over guy in the company.

We recap Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer, which is fallout from Cyberslam where Credible took the title from Dreamer twenty minutes after Tommy won it, as well as Hardcore Heaven where Dreamer had to give up his chance to prevent Credible from throwing the belt in the trash.

ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible

This is Stairway to Hell with barbed wire over the ring and ladders used to climb it, though you win by pinfall. Dreamer brings out Jazz to equalize Francine, but then brings out George, a former valet in WCW where she was known as Gorgeous George. An interesting note from just after the match starts is a group of XPW wrestlers (a local hardcore promotion) sitting at ringside causes a big commotion and allegedly touch Francine, though she would say there was no contact at all. Security and some of the locker room come get rid of them.

After about two minutes of waiting for things to calm down, we’re ready to go. They start with a technical sequence and Joey’s reaction is great: “A wrestling match has broken out!” Justin superkicks Dreamer in the face to take over as we’re just waiting on the weapons to come in. They’re quickly outside with Dreamer hitting Credible with a beer.

Alleged brawling takes place in the crowd but thankfully they stop walking around and get back to ringside. Never mind as they head back into the crowd with Justin already busted open. Dreamer brings out a ladder up near the announcers’ area but gets shoved off the ladder and down near the merchandise stand. Back to ringside with Dreamer getting in a shot to take over and putting the ladder on the corner in the ring. Dreamer gets whipped face first into the end of the ladder as Joey and Cyrus argue again.

Justin replaces the ladder with an open chair on the corner but puts the ladder over the bottom rope. Tommy catapults him hands first into the ladder (the camera shot ruined the spot) and goes up the ladder, onto to have Francine hit him low for the save. Dreamer falls but lands on Francine in a big crash, drawing in Jazz and George.

To the shock of no one with a brain, George turns on Jazz and helps Francine up. Francine misses a Bronco Buster to George and gets beaten up by Jazz, including ripping off her top to reveal tape. Jazz takes That’s Incredible but Dreamer hits the Tommyhawk (a reverse Outsider’s Edge but Dreamer pulls him down into a cutter) for two.

Dreamer climbs the ladder to bring down the barbed wire which he wraps around the top rope. Justin goes up top but gets crotched on the wire, only to be fine five seconds later as he pulls Tommy into That’s Incredible on the wire for two. Tommy hits a DDT onto the wire but Justin hits another That’s Incredible on the barbed wire to retain.

Rating: D. The ending was so obvious that it made the rest of the match feel like a bit waste of time. Justin gets to keep the belt for another few months and this match doesn’t take away any of the criticisms about him. He doesn’t come off as interesting or skilled, but rather a two move guy with a very generic cocky heel character to him. The barbed wire only came into play for the last minute and a half, making the rest of the match just a regular dull ECW brawl that we’ve seen about a dozen times before. Dreamer felt like he was a lame duck challenger coming in and that’s exactly what he came off looking like in the match.

Justin celebrates and Cyrus is thrilled to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This company is very quickly reaching a point where nothing seems to matter. It felt like I’ve seen these same matches on previous shows and this was just a big mixture of whatever ideas they’ve run with before. Rob Van Dam continued to be the most wasted piece of talent you’ll find in this era as he’s having a nearly twenty minute match with career dead weight Scotty Anton while Rhino beats up Sandman for what feels like six months and the midcard guys are still midcard guys because so few people get elevated in this company.

Why should a fan get behind most of the people in this company? Guys like Tajiri and Roadkill get some of the biggest reactions of the night but are stuck in the same three ways or meaningless tag matches (because who needs tag belts right?) for months on end with no way out in sight. It’s so frustrating to watch guys with talent working very hard to get over but getting stuck because the booking isn’t thought out or creative. The show tried, but it’s running around in circles.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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