Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXVII (2015 Redo): They Screwed Up

Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

Pre-Show: US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

R-Truth, Great Khali, David Hart-Smith, Mark Henry, Johnny Curtis, Evan Bourne, Trent Barretta, Chris Masters, JTG, Yoshi Tatsu, Chavo Guerrero, Ted DiBiase, Tyler Reks, William Regal, Drew McIntyre, Curt Hawkins, Tyson Kidd, Primo, Zack Ryder, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus

Curtis is a generic guy who would later be known as Fandango and I think you know the Usos. Khali throws out Reks and Hawkins in the first twenty seconds and Henry tosses Tatsu a few seconds later. The match slows down a lot and everyone brawls with everyone with no one getting close to an elimination. Jimmy Uso is hanging onto the ropes and pulls them down to eliminate Truth.

Henry dumps both Usos a few seconds later and a big group of people gets rid of Mark. Primo and Ryder go out in quick succession and Drew has to last on the apron. Chavo tries to knock McIntyre out but gets backdropped to the floor and Khali knocks out Hart-Smith. JTG is dumb enough to go up top and gets chopped out by Khali. Bryan throws Kidd out and McIntyre eliminates Trent.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful.

The cylinder from last year has been replaced by an even bigger cube.

The opening video is the standard operating procedure: talking about the history of the event with the major highlight clips before an assortment of stuff on the major matches. This still works so why mess with it?

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Alberto (who won the 2011 Royal Rumble to earn this shot) is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce (he was a car guy, to put it mildly) with his personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez doing his introduction. Del Rio also has Brodus Clay as his bodyguard so Edge brings out Christian as backup. Feeling out process to start until Edge gets shoved into the corner but he comes out with a slap to the face.

Back in and Edge heads up top, only to get armdragged back down to the mat in a big crash. A big boot and flapjack get two for the champ but a Codebreaker to the arm looks to set up the armbreaker. Edge counters into the Edge-O-Matic for two but Del Rio grabs the armbreaker a few seconds later, only to have Edge roll his feet into the ropes. Del Rio follows up with a running enziguri but Edge gets his foot on the ropes again. Rodriguez tries to break it up, triggering a brawl between Christian and Brodus.

Tough Enough ad.

Cole brags about his Slammys and promises to win tonight.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston vs. Corre

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin Stuns Matthews for making the announcement.

Wrestlemania week video.

JR and King are doing commentary now.

HHH vs. Undertaker

19-0 flashes on the screen and both guys are done. HHH slowly gets up as the trainer comes in to check on Undertaker (thankfully in silence). Undertaker gets out of the ring and falls on his face, eventually needing to be carted up the ramp.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Miami.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

The new attendance record is announced. Notice that they said for any entertainment event, which excludes football.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

Miz takes over in the corner and whips Cena hard across the ring, setting up his running clothesline for two. A gutwrench suplex gets the same for Cena as the crowd is just silent. Miz misses the second running corner clothesline and takes the top rope Fameasser for two. The champ slowly stomps him down and a baseball slide sends Cena out to the floor. Back in and a knee lift gets two as Cena has shown no fire so far.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio


Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: C-

That HHH vs. Undertaker match really is great.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/05/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvii-rocky-cant-save-this-one/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Monday Night Raw – March 7, 2022: They Have One Idea

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2022
Location: Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means we are probably going to start some of the harder pushes to the show this week. In theory we should be getting some more matches set for the show, as probably about half of it has been set. There is also a Tag Team Title match this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with clips from Madison Square Garden where Roman Reigns and the Usos laid out Brock Lesnar and left him bloody to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here are Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins for a chat before their Tag Team Title shot. Rollins is fired up and Owens talks about how the deck has been stacked against them all year. Tonight though, they’re taking the titles and going to Wrestlemania! That’s great, but they have to compete in the dump known as Dallas. Being there with Rollins will make it more bearable though and we look at some clips of how we got to this title match. Owens goes on a rant against the other team, including saying that Shorty G. and Otis suck.

Cue Alpha Academy, now with a SHHHHHHHUSH at the start of their entrance. Chad Gable lists off his resume and throws in a THANK YOU regarding how they are going to retain their titles. We cut to RKBro in the back, where the team is rather fired up to get their titles back. Riddle digs it.

Tag Team Titles: Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens vs. RKBro vs. Alpha Academy

Alpha Academy is defending, there are three people in the ring at once and you can only tag your own partner. Rollins takes Riddle and Gable down to start and hands it off to Owens to take over. Owens steps on Riddle’s bare foot and hits a DDT for two before running Gable over as well. A Vader Bomb elbow gets two on Gable and it’s back to Rollins with a top rope crossbody to Riddle and Gable.

The two of them are sent outside so Rollins can hit a suicide dive, followed by Owens’ Swanton for two on Gable as we take a break. Back with Otis getting to clean house, including a splash for two on Riddle, with Otis pulling him up. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Otis has to hammer Riddle down to break up the comeback. The Vader Bomb misses though and the hot tag brings in Orton to clean house on Gable and the returning Rollins.

A double hanging DDT takes the two of them down but Gable counters the RKO into the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Orton hits the RKO on Rollins, with Owens making the save. Orton drops Gable and Owens onto the announcers’ table, and RKBro combines to drop Otis onto it as we take another break.

Back again with Riddle hitting the Floating Bro for two on Rollins with Owens making the save. Otis gives Orton a World’s Strongest Slam and it’s a Vader Bomb into Gable’s moonsault for two as Rollins makes the save. Gable slips out of a Rollins’ superplex attempt so let’s just make it a Tower of Doom with Owens sending everyone down instead. Everything breaks down and it’s a big brawl to send us to a third break.

Back again with most everyone on the floor and Riddle going up top. Rollins breaks that up and gets two off an Alberto double stomp. Riddle gets Rollins into a triangle choke but it’s Gable making the save this time. Gable hits rolling German suplexes on Orton, Rollins and Riddle before going up top for the moonsault….which Orton catches in an RKO for some AMAZING timing. Rollins and Owens break that up though and it’s a buckle bomb to Gable into a Stunner into the Stomp but Riddle throws Rollins out and steals the pin and the titles at 27:02.

Rating: B. This got a lot of time (a crazy amount of time for a Raw match) and the title change actually shocked me. After that RKO to Gable, it would have been almost a letdown if they didn’t get the titles here so this is a nice surprise. Good match, though that is assuming you can ignore “HOW WILL THEY GO TO WRESTLEMANIA IF THEY LOSE?????”, which is a dumb story even by WWE standards.

Owens and Rollins are devastated, with Rollins walking off in a trance and Owens talking to himself. Orton talks about how he has never had this much fun in twenty years and he will actually call Riddle his friend. THEY’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Post break, Owens is still in shock.

24/7 Title: Dana Brooke vs. Tamina

Brooke is defending and has Reggie in her corner, while Tamina has Akira Tozawa. Earlier today, Brooke asked Reggie for a good luck kiss and got just that. On the other hand, Tozawa asked Tamina for one and was kissed hard into a wall for his efforts. Tamina clotheslines her down to start but gets caught with the handspring elbow in the corner. Another clothesline takes Brooke down again though and we hit the Boston crab. Brooke finally powers out and grabs a bad looking rollup to retain at 1:45. Believe it or not, Brooke survived in her hometown.

Post match Tozawa says Brooke cheated and says the winner of the match is the love of his life, Tamina. Tozawa preps for another kiss but she walks by him, teases coming back, blows him a kiss, and then leaves.

Seth Rollins still can’t talk.

We look at Roman Reigns attacking Brock Lesnar at MSG again.

Here is the Miz for a chat. Miz says he’s home and says that the cheers he receives are respect. We see Dominik Mysterio insulting Logan Paul, who is Miz’s special guest this week. Cue Paul, who says it is good to be home and he is honored to be going to Wrestlemania as Miz’s partner. Paul talks about growing up in Cleveland and went to high school here, with Cleveland making him the man he is today.

They don’t like Dominik riding on Rey’s coat tails because that isn’t how they do it here in Cleveland. Speaking of Cleveland, here is another Cleveland native: Jerry Lawler. After a rather nice reaction, Lawler lists off some Ohio towns where he lived over the years and thanks Miz for inviting him here.

Lawler looks at the Wrestlemania sign and thinks it would be great to have the show right here in Cleveland. Miz doesn’t think much of that idea because Cleveland isn’t exactly a Wrestlemania city. Miz: “YOU WERE JUST CHEERING ME AND NOW YOU’RE BOOING ME???” This city couldn’t even handle the pyro without the lake catching on fire. No one stays here, just like when the Browns or LeBron James left. Miz says he and Paul can go on to a real Wrestlemania city and leaves, with an unsure Paul following. This was kind of a weird segment as I’m not sure what it accomplished other than having Lawler out there.

We look back at Dolph Ziggler’s recent issues with Tommaso Ciampa.

Bron Breakker and Tommaso Ciampa are here to face Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode in a rematch of last week’s NXT. Breakker is excited and ready to go before defending the NXT Title against Ziggler and Ciampa tomorrow night.

The Street Profits are asked what they think about having no path to Wrestlemania but point out that they beat RKBro last week.

Bron Breakker/Tommaso Ciampa vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Breakker shrugs off Roode’s headlock to start and muscles him up for a suplex. It’s off to Ciampa for a clothesline and a chinlock before being driven into the wrong corner. That’s enough to send Ciampa outside and we take a break. Back with Ciampa in trouble and getting caught with a double back elbow.

Ciampa manages a jumping knee and it’s back to Breakker to clean house. Ziggler knees Breakker in the face for a breather but the gorilla press….is broken up by Roode. A rollup gives Ziggler two but Breakker charges into the post. The Zig Zag connects for two with Ciampa making the save. Another jumping knee sends Roode outside and the gorilla press powerslam finishes Ziggler at 9:37.

Rating: C+. Breakker getting to debut on Raw is a nice touch as it’s clear that he’s just here as a guest star. I like the idea of presenting some NXT wrestlers on Raw every week, if nothing else just for the sake of building up some of what they’re doing. Good match here, as Breakker looked composed enough on the bigger stage.

Post match Ziggler says that was one win and promises to take the title tomorrow night when Breakker crumbles.

Video on Omos.

Omos is asked if he has a path to Wrestlemania (OH SHUT UP ALREADY!) and asks how many people he has to dominate.

Omos vs. Apollo Crews

Commander Azeez is here with Crews and Omos says he’s next. Omos runs Crews over to start and we’re already on the double arm crank. The rather slow paced Omos forearms Crews off the apron and out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Crews hits a jumping enziguri but gets chokeslammed for the pin at 2:42.

Post match Azeez comes in to check on Crews so Omos laughs at him.

We look back at AJ Styles accepting Edge’s Wrestlemania challenge, sending Edge into a rage and crushing him with two Conchairtos.

Here is Edge, but his entrance is very different this time, as his music cuts off and a dark spotlight comes on him as he walks to the ring. After taking his sweet time getting into the ring, Edge says “you think you know me?”. Tonight he is going to talk to AJ Styles but make sure you put the kids to bed first. Edge did what he did last week to bring out the real AJ Styles.

It was a new Edge too, as he pealed back his head and saw the real him, which he had never seen before. That is an Edge that he has fallen in love with and now he feels in control of everything that happens in this ring. Edge is standing on the mountain of omnipotence and the view is phenomenal. A closeup of Edge’s face wraps it up. The entrance was good but it felt like this got cut off before he got to the point.

Kevin Owens never wants to feel how he felt after that loss again. He just had an epiphany and it is the idea that is going to change his entire Wrestlemania future. There are details to iron out, but he has a plan that he will reveal later tonight.

We look at the Reigns/Lesnar MSG clip again.

Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella/Queen Zelina

Non-title but if Morgan and Ripley win, they are added to the Wrestlemania Women’s Tag Team Title match. No entrance for the champs here as Morgan sends Carmella into the corner to start. That just annoys Carmella so Ripley comes in and cleans house until Zelina hits a tornado DDT. Carmella superkicks Ripley into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Vega cranking on Ripley but she kicks Carmella in the face (with a Munsters reference on commentary), allowing the hot tag to Morgan. Everything breaks down and Graces gets off commentary to check on Carmella. Zelina kicks Morgan in the face but there is no Carmella to tag. Vega yells at Carmella, who is talking to Graves, allowing Morgan to….not really hit the Codebreaker. Ripley comes in and hits Riptide for the pin at 9:03.

Rating: D. It was sloppy, it was long and the ending was about promoting WWE’s newest stupid reality show. This was one of the more annoying things I’ve seen WWE do in a long time and it sets up the “let’s throw everyone in one match at Wrestlemania for the most worthless belts in the company” deal, because that’s easier than putting in some work to make a better story.

Vader is going to the Hall of Fame. In his words, it’s time.

Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor

Non-title and after a video on Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee, we’re ready to go. Theory takes him up against the ropes for some shots to the back to start but Balor gets in a few shots of his own to take over. We take a break and come back with Theory in control and knocking Balor down again, but ATL is escaped. A running dropkick into the corner knocks Theory silly but here’s Damian Priest to break up the Coup de Grace for the DQ at 8:36.

Rating: C. This was just kind of there and that isn’t a great sign for the start of Balor’s title reign. Priest vs. the Demon is the kind of Wrestlemania idea that writes itself and odds are that is where we’re going. I’m not sure how well the match will go, but at least both Balor and Theory have a likely Wrestlemania match set up.

Post match Priest powerbombs Balor and Theory adds the ATL for the sake of picture taking.

Bianca Belair (now in a Don’t Touch The Hair top) is ready to put the EST in Wrestlemania. Of note: Becky Lynch was said to be injured during an incident with Belair the previous night and isn’t here.

Here is Kevin Owens for his big Wrestlemania idea. He doesn’t have a match to Wrestlemania so he needs a path to get to the event. That’s why he is going to have the biggest Kevin Owen Show of all time, but that means he needs a special guest. He needs someone from Texas, so maybe he could have JBL. Nah, as the horns on his limo are more interesting. Booker T? The guy who spent most of his career as part of a tag team called HARLEM Heat? Shawn Michaels is a proud Texan…but Owens is a proud Canadian so on behalf of Bret Hart, SHAWN MICHAELS IS NOT INVITED!

That leaves one Texas legend and he is someone who is probably drinking a lot of beer. When he was in WWE, he had to wear knee braces to get through his matches. Owens would love to have this guy come here so he can give him a Stunner and then pour out a glass of milk. He finally gets to it and challenges Steve Austin to Wrestlemania. You knew that was coming in some way so this is about as good as it’s going to get.

Overall Rating: C-. Most of the wrestling was good, but a few of the big talking segments (Miz, Edge) kind of flopped. They did set up/advance some things for Wrestlemania, but this HOW WILL THEY GET THERE stuff is dreadful. It treats fans like they have never watched Wrestlemania before as there is no reason to believe that most of these people won’t be on the show in some way. There are other ways to set up a Wrestlemania match and hearing the same thing over and over again all night got old fast. There were some good parts here, but it felt like WWE was overthinking the build to the show more often than not.

Results
RKBro b. Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens and Alpha Academy – Stomp to Gable
Dana Brooke b. Tamina – Rollup
Bron Breakker/Tommaso Ciampa b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Gorilla press powerslam to Ziggler
Omos b. Apollo Crews – Chokeslam
Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley b. Queen Zelina/Carmella – Riptide to Zelina
Finn Balor b. Austin Theory via DQ when Damian Priest interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Monday Night Raw – August 13, 2007: Vince McMahon Has A List

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to go back to the company’s home and it always feels special to be in Madison Square Garden. We are less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the John Cena vs. Randy Orton showdown, but we need something to get us through a few more shows. We’ll start with a bizarre pairing of Cena/Umaga vs. Orton/Carlito, which should make for an interesting main event. Oh and Vince McMahon might have another kid. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon returning last week on a pretty bad night before being told that he has a paternity suit being filed against him over another McMahon child. I still remember that airing live and being intrigued.

Opening sequence.

Wrestlers from all three rosters are around the ring as Vince McMahon comes out. Vince says he has had a few dalliances over the years but he doesn’t even remember this woman. To make it worse, the woman is withholding the name of the illegitimate child, which makes this pure extortion from a woman who should have been on the pill.

We see a WHO’S YOUR BABY sign in the crowd and you know the fans are chanting that. Vince knows his family supports him and he hopes the fans will support him, because this could happen to any red blooded American male. He has been in the public spotlight for thirty years and nothing bothers him…but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

She wanted to do this in private but that can’t happen now. Stephanie claims that Vince abandoned his family, but Vince thinks she just wants her piece of the pie. She didn’t want to do this in public but she will anyway. Earlier today, she talked to the mother and has found something out: the child is a WWE star, and they’re here at ringside. Vince looks around the ring and suddenly looks rather nauseous. As Vince leaves, he has a staredown with Mr. Kennedy, which the fans seem to like. He also looks at Mark Henry, who kind of shakes his head. There’s your big angle and yeah, this is intriguing.

Bobby Lashley had shoulder surgery this week and blames Mr. Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Sandman

I’m not sure why they went to the back instead of just staying in the ring but WWE can do some weird things at times. Kennedy works on the arm to start but Sandman swings away with left hands. It’s time to go up top but Kennedy crotches him, setting up a super snapmare. The Regal Roll gives Kennedy the fast pin.

Vince McMahon is ranting about having a wrestler for a kid to Coach, who has a plan: they can go through the entire roster and figure this out. First up, Coach needs to know when Vince became sexually active. Vince: “Well I was ALMOST a teenager.” Coach says this could be anyone on the roster, so here is Ric Flair to say WOO as Vince appears to have a headache.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Shawn Michaels.

William Regal is dressed as Simon Cowell for WWE Idol. First up, JBL and Michael Cole are here, in costume, to sing a Hall and Oates song. JBL isn’t impressed and yells, but Maria and Ron Simmons pop up for a distraction. Their date is next week, so here is Santino Marella to complain. He has a plan though: sing a song so romantic that Maria will come back to him. They leave, so Simmons gets to hear JBL and Cole sing Rich Girl. Cole asks Simmons about his favorite 80s band. Simmons: “WHAM!”

Here is Cryme Tyme and they have a special deal for us tonight: Lilian Garcia’s chair! Cryme Tyme even autographs it and get….$1000! That’s not too bad, and they get a match too.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title and joined in progress with Shad in the wrong corner and getting chopped rather loudly. Some knees to the ribs set up a chinlock until Shad powers up to drive Murdoch into the corner. The hot tag brings in JTG to clean house, with a legdrop getting two. Everything breaks down and there’s a high/low to JTG…but Shad BLASTS Murdoch in the back with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They barely had enough time to make this go very far but at least they did something to make Cryme Tyme look good. The stealing/selling stuff is an idea and it fits their characters rather well. Odds are we are going to get a title match out of this sooner than later and that should make for a good pay per view showdown.

More Randy Orton, this time taking out Rob Van Dam.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Snitsky vs. Robbie

Pumphandle slam finishes Robbie in about 20 seconds.

Post match Snitsky beats up Rory as well.

Vince McMahon talks to Coach about how he challenged himself to do it in every state, including in a corn field in Nebraska and on an iceberg in Alaska. Coach says they could do a DNA test of all the wrestlers but that would take a few weeks. Instead, they could go over his dalliances and cross reference them to know more by this weekend’s Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cody Rhodes pops up to say he knows who his father is and gives Vince a condom, just in case. Vince tells Coach to remind him to sue Trojan’s magnum division…and here’s Boogeyman to sing Cat’s In The Cradle, which is about spending time with your father. Coach: “He does appear to have your eyes.”

And now, WWE Idol. We have a panel of judges, including William Regal, Maria (who judges host Todd Grisham because she thinks he’s a contestant) and Mick Foley (“I will do almost anything for money”). The first contestant is Jillian Hall (who has Mick’s attention), who sings her own version of Memories from Cats. Mick is glad he lost part of his ear, Maria says her singing was……well she looks really pretty! Regal: “Perhaps I should change tonight’s main event to Roe vs. Wade because that was an abortion.”

Next up is Nikolai Volkoff/the Iron Sheik (with Howard Finkel), singing the Russian National Anthem. Granted Sheik doesn’t actually sing but Maria stands up. Regal: “It’s a shame that Sheik didn’t lose his voice in this building like he lost the WWE Title!” Sheik yells about Regal joining Vince McMahon’s special club and Regal is AGHAST. He ejects Regal so here is Lilian Garcia to sing New York, New York.

Santino Marella interrupts, saying New York is missing a prostitute. He sings That’s Amore, which Foley says was almost as painful as watching Marella wrestle. Santino tells Maria that they’ve leaving but she isn’t done judging. Cue Ron Simmons to beat Santino up, which is enough music to Regal’s ears to name him the winner. This was WAY funnier than the Dating Game and Regal’s lines were amazing.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Charlie Haas

Shelton Benjamin is at ringside. Cody grabs a rollup for an early two but Haas snapmares him over for a kick to the back. The neck crank goes on before Haas starts going after the arm. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Haas goes with an overhead belly to belly for two instead. Another chinlock is broken up and Rhodes grabs a hot shot. Rhodes hammers away and hits a dropkick (JR: “Cody learned that from his mother!”), setting up a high crossbody for two. With that not working, Cody grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is the way to build Rhodes up as he needs to prove that he can get a few wins. Haas isn’t hurt by a loss, especially in a singles match, and Rhodes gets a boost. It’s such an easy and logical way to go but for some reason it seems lost on so many promotions. In other words, follow the Cody model.

It is time for King Booker’s official coronation, with Jerry Lawler having to crown him after losing to Booker last week. Booker orders Lawler to put the crown on, dropping the accent as Lawler takes too long. Lawler doesn’t like being told that Booker is the only true king, so there will be no crowning. As a bonus, he has been talking to the bosses, and Booker will be having a match at Summerslam, against this man. We see a HHH video and Booker is not happy. The fight is on and Booker CLOCKS Lawler with a TV monitor.

Post break, Lawler is being tended to by medics and Todd Grisham takes his place.

Summerslam rundown.

Randy Orton took out Sgt. Slaughter too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat before the main event. John Cena is having the longest WWE Title reign in nearly twenty years, but Orton ends careers. He is taking the title, but he is also going to end Cena’s career for good.

Randy Orton/Carlito vs. John Cena/Umaga

It feels like they hit the Random button to set this up. Orton and Umaga start, which is kind of a weird pairing. Umaga hammers him down in the corner but misses a charge so Carlito can come in. Everything breaks down for a bit and the villains are cleared out so we can take an early break. We come back with Cena pounding on Carlito until he charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Carlito sends him outside to keep up the beating and it’s back to Orton for the dropkick. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two and we’re off to the chinlock. Cena finally powers out of trouble but Orton isn’t about to leg Umaga back in. The knee drop misses though and it’s right back to Carlito, who actually wins a slugout. Orton grabs a chinlock of his own but Cena is right back up again. A backdrop sends Carlito flying and it’s Umaga coming in to clean house. The running hip attack hits Orton and Carlito’s Backstabber completely fails. Instead, Cena comes in for the FU to finish Carlito off.

Rating: C. This was a way to sit around waiting until we got to the big tag to Umaga. There was something to be said about watching Umaga clean house, as he is the kind of screaming wrecking ball monster that you don’t get to see too often. I don’t know if it is going to last long, but at least it worked well for one night.

Vince McMahon kind of liked going over all of his indiscretions with Coach, including one time with two flight attendants on a flight to Detroit. Then Linda McMahon comes in and tells Vince he no longer has a home to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The push towards Summerslam continues and you can see a lot of the card, but there are still some holes that need to be filled. I’m sure we’ll get some of those things covered next week, though it would have been nice to do some of them a little bit earlier. That being said, the McMahon stuff is enough to make up for some of the problems, as a big Vince story can be one of the best things WWE does. Another not great show, but Summerslam delivering could make up for a lot of these problems.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Monday Night Raw – August 6, 2007: Earl Grey, The Dating Game And A Summons

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 6, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We have less than a month to go before Summerslam and that means we need to keep going towards John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Other than that, we might be seeing more of King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler, which actually didn’t wrap up after one week. Maybe we get something else set up this week, which might be a good idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon returned earlier today and wants the roster out in the arena. As a citizen of the United States, he will be exercising his freedom of expression tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here is the entire locker room, so Vince McMahon joins them. Vince says the last time he was on Raw, he was blown to smithereens. We see a clip of said blowing and said smithereens, which is how Vince wanted to go out. Why though? Well that’s because Vince wanted to stage his own demise so he could see how people felt about him. Vince is going to talk about some things he doesn’t like, such as the United States Congress and some members of his family. We’ll get to that later, because right now, we’re going to have a battle royal, with the winner becoming the new General Manager (Coach does NOT approve).

Battle Royal

Trevor Murdoch, Umaga, Beth Phoenix, Maria, Candice Michelle, Melina, Mickie James, Rory, Robbie, Jim Duggan, Sandman, William Regal, Mr. Kennedy, Super Crazy, Lance Cade, Val Venis, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, Shad Gaspard, JTG, King Booker, Daivari

That’s either everyone or almost everyone. Umaga scares off Phoenix, Maria, Michelle, Melina and James before throwing Murdoch out as well. Crazy, London, Robbie and JTG are all put out by Umaga in a hurry and Booker joins then due to excessive yelling at Jerry Lawler. Umaga tosses Gaspard as the ring is a lot more clear. We take a break and come back with Haas having been eliminated during the break and Rory joining him after the commercial.

Venis dumps Cade but gets knocked out by Umaga, who goes after Kendrick…and they eliminate each other in a weirdly sudden ending for the guy who had dominated so far. Kennedy is tossed as well as Umaga Samoa Spikes Haas on the ramp. We’re down to Sandman, Rhodes, Duggan, Benjamin, Carlito and Regal, the latter of whom is on the floor without being eliminated (uh oh).

Carlito and Benjamin get rid of Duggan and it’s time for the final four (or so) to pair off. Rhodes skins the cat to save himself but Carlito tosses him anyway. Sandman goes up for no logical reason, allowing Benjamin to run the corner and superplex him back down. Benjamin and Carlito go to the apron for a fight so Sandman knocks them out, only to have Regal come in from behind and toss Sandman for the win and the job.

Rating: C-. The best thing I can say about this is that it went by fast, but at the same time it had the most annoying battle royal ending imaginable. That being said, I can go with more Regal on TV every single week because he really is someone who could be used in a bigger way. Not much of a match, but a good result.

Post match Regal, who has one boot off, does some Hindu squats, because the ankle injury he claimed earlier in the match was A RUSE!

In the back, Coach is unhappy with Regal winning the match but Vince McMahon goes on a rant about the letters he has received from two different Congressional committees. He talks about President Benjamin Franklin before telling Coach that he is Regal’s assistant. Now get the Earl Grey ready.

Video on HHH, who is returning at Summerslam.

King Booker doesn’t like HHH calling himself a king because he is just a pretender. Jerry Lawler is a pretender as well, which Booker will prove when he beats Lawler tonight. That is why Booker has set up a ceremony next week at Madison Square Garden, where the loser has to crown the winner.

Snitsky vs. Rory

Pumphandle slam finishes Rory in less than thirty seconds.

Coach brings Vince McMahon a phone call from his counselor. Apparently the IRS is investigating Vince too, so the media will have a field day. Vince says the media and wrestling are both in the entertainment business. He storms off….and IRS is reading a newspaper.

Jillian Hall comes to the ring for her match and offers Lilian Garcia a chance to hear with her…but no one wants to hear Lilian sing. Jillian starts singing Hit Me Baby One More Time but gets cut off.

Jillian Hall vs. Mickie James

Mickie gets taken down for a double arm crank to start but flips her way to freedom in a hurry. A neckbreaker gives Mickie two but Jillian catches her on top. What would become the Skull Crushing Finale finishes James in a hurry.

Coach meets with William Regal….who wants him to set up the WWE version of the Dating Game. Oh and get him some tea.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. Things went so well on the debut episode that he thought he would have the same guest this week. Cue John Cena, who looks rather serious as he gets in Carlito’s face. Carlito gets shoved into the chair and Cena is going to be hosting this himself. Cena interviews himself, saying that he isn’t happy with an apple being spat in his face last week.

We see a clip, with Cena asking himself about the other guy at ringside last week. That would be Randy Orton, so Cena says the Champ Is Here and still will be at Summerslam. Other than that, Cena has three reasons why he shouldn’t trash the show and beat up Carlito. After two jokes about Carlito’s sexual practices, the fight is on but here is Orton for a distraction. That doesn’t work so here is William Regal to say that Randy Orton and Carlito are going to get to pick Cena’s opponent tonight.

Post break, Carlito and Orton pick Umaga to face Cena tonight. The two of them leave and Vince McMahon thinks his wife and kids wanted him gone. That means he needs to get them back together and nothing can stop him.

Jerry Lawler vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker and the loser has to crown the winner next week. Booker powers him into the corner to start but Lawler punches him out to the floor in a hurry. Back in and more right hands put Booker in more trouble but he knocks Lawler down for two. A kick to Lawler’s face sets up some stomping and we hit the overhand wristlock. Booker kicks him down again and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up again and Lawler punches him out to the floor, where he punches even more. Lawler stops to glare at Sharmell though, allowing Booker to hit the ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was closer to what I was expecting last week, but Lawler had almost no fire throughout the entire thing. Booker winning was the only way to go with the big HHH match seemingly on the horizon. The ending just kind of came and went too, making this quite the weak match.

We look at Mr. Kennedy injuring Bobby Lashley last week.

JR tells us that Lashley needs shoulder surgery and will be out of action.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. Kennedy asks what Bobby Lashley is hearing right now. It is something everyone will be hearing from now on: KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY! KENNEDY1 KENNEDY! And we go to a break.

And now (oh boy) it’s the Dating Game. We have three eligible bachelors, Jim Duggan (who hides his wedding ring and has a massive piece of wood), Ron Simmons and Santino Marella, and a contestant, Maria. She gets to ask a bunch of questions, including why how Duggan does with managers. Duggan: “I won’t call you a HOOOOO!” Ron Simmons would make her SPAM in bed. Santino says it’s him, but Maria thinks it’s a bad impression.

Simmons is asked which war he would go back and end. Simmons: “NAM!” Santino accuses the other two of not liking babies and puppies, so Duggan tells him to go back to Italy and leave the good old USA, USA, USA! A fight nearly breaks out so Regal tells Maria to make her pick already. She picks Simmons, sending Santino into a panic. Simmons tells him to SCRAM but Santino wants Maria to leave with him. Cue Umaga to chase everyone off. This had a few funny lines (read as, anytime Simmons talked) and I could go for more Regal shenanigans, but it ran longer than it needed to.

Coach accepts a summons for Vince McMahon and upon seeing what it is, knows that he has to go find Vince.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Non-title. Cena hammers away to start but gets sent into the corner for a hard chop. A headbutt drops Cena again and Umaga hits an even harder shoulder. Cena pops back up with the Throwback but you don’t do that to a Samoan’s head, as Umaga nails a quick spinwheel kick. We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a nerve hold. Cena can’t get the FU, but he can manage to knock Umaga down and grab the STFU. Cue Carlito and Randy Orton for the DQ.

Rating: C. These two could have a good match in their sleep and this was probably the main part of many a house show main events. That being said, this was all about jumping Cena in the end so they didn’t quite get out of second gear. Nothing to see here, but Cena moving Umaga around is always pretty cool.

Post match, Carlito and Orton tell Umaga to go after Cena….but he lays both of them out instead. Cue Regal, to make Cena/Oomanga vs. Carlito/Orton for next week.

Vince McMahon is in the back and talks to some of the roster. He goes outside like he did on the night of the exploding limo (wrestling is weird) and walks to his white limousine, goes to close the door….and gets cut off by Coach. The papers from earlier say that Vince is being served in a paternity suit. There is another McMahon out there somewhere. Vince shakes his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was mainly focused on two stories. The battle royal gave us a good result but the Cena vs. the world stuff was only so good. Summerslam didn’t get much attention this week but it seems that they are going to be focusing on Cena vs. Orton and not much else. They still have time to get somewhere with it though and it should all work out when some more stuff is added.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 30, 2007 (2022 Redo): King Him?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2007
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam and now we have a big time main event with Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title. That alone is almost enough to carry the Raw side but they could add in a few more things to boost things up a bit. One thing that won’t be included is Jeff Hardy, who has been suspended for thirty days for violating company policy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton becoming the new #1 contender and laying out John Cena to end last week’s show.

Here is John Cena for a chat. Cena is ready for a WWE Title match at the biggest party of the summer and he is ready to face Randy Orton. They got started fast with Orton making an opening statement. Great Khali did it, Bobby Lashley did it, and now Orton did it and CENA WAS DOWN! Orton got the first chapter right, but now he needs to flip to the final chapter, which will have the same four words that we’ve had since September: THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Cue Carlito of all people, to say that Cena is a lucky man, because he is the first guest on the new and improved Carlito’s Cabana. The set is thrown together in a hurry and Cena has a seat as Carlito asks him why he is a liar. We hear about Carlito beating Cena in his debut (because we are bringing this up AGAIN), with Cena throwing in the stabbing in the club.

Cena says that was three years ago, when Britney Spears was still hot, when Michael Jackson wasn’t creepy, when Abraham Lincoln wrestled a bear on the White House lawn and when Lindsay Lohan did her first line…..of dialogue. Cena: “It was Herbie: Fully Loaded! We all saw it!” Carlito says he has Cena’s number but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Kennedy says he should be #1 contender because Carlito has apples but no grapefruits.

They get in an argument about who should be #1 contender ala Daffy and Bugs. Kennedy: “KENNEDY!” Carlito: “CARLITO!” Cena: “RANDY ORTON!” Cena talks about how Orton is #1 contender because he earned it, not by having a mic drop or stuttering on your last name. If they want to do something, Kennedy should challenge Bobby Lashley and Carlito can do something for the first time in three years by facing Cena himself. This was your usual interrupting segment but at least they set things up.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James/Maria

Santino Marella is here with Maria and company. Maria cranks on Beth’s arm to start and it’s off to Mickie to stay on said arm. That doesn’t work for Beth, who powers her into the corner and brings Melina in. Mickie clotheslines her down and it’s off to Candice for a sloppy looking double rolling flip (they aren’t as good as the Hardys). Jillian comes in to take Candice down by the hair as we go to a wide shot for some reason. A Russian legsweep gets Candice out of trouble though and Maria comes into clean house. Everything breaks down and Jillian lifts Maria up for a running faceplant from Melina for the pin.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a great match, but you could tell that they were having to cram in a bunch of stuff into just over three minutes. You can’t get very far with six women in that length of time and it was showing badly here. The division is getting better though, in that it is an actual division for the first time in a good while.

Post break, the women are gone but Santino is still here to blame the referee for Maria’s loss. We have an interruption though.

Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and the Samoan Spike finishes in about a minute. A heel turn is a good idea for him as there is nothing to him outside of being Italian so this is a needed change.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell hope that HHH is watching Booker beat up Jerry Lawler tonight.

Cody Rhodes comes in to see Coach and we see a clip of Randy Orton attacking Dusty Rhodes last week. After a long (and readily produced) video, Coach says that Cody can’t go after revenge on Orton. As for Cody’s career, he’s 0-2 so he needs to go win his match. Win and stay, but lose and leave. Cody thanks Coach for showing him the footage.

Randy Orton is ready to compete tonight but doesn’t have an opponent. Cue Sgt. Slaughter of all people to say he’ll do it because Orton is a maggot.

Daivari vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody cuts off Daivari’s pre-match rant and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Daivari shrugs off some early right hands in the corner and sends him into the corner. We’re already on the neck crank as the fans chant USA. Cody hits a crossbody and bulldog for two, followed by a Dustin Rhodes powerslam. A pretty good DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley powers him down to start and grabs a front facelock to limited avail. Back up and Kennedy gets punched into the corner, setting up the vertical suplex. The threat of a spear sends Kennedy bailing to the floor, where he kicks Lashley’s shoulder into the steps. Back in and we hit the logical armbar to stay on Lashley’s bad shoulder. The arm is snapped across the top rope for two and the referee considers stopping the match. Another armbar has to be broken up and Lashley makes the comeback. The spear is loaded up but Kennedy kicks him in the arm and gets the clean pin.

Rating: C. That was a rather surprising result with Lashley going from the top of the show to losing clean in about six minutes. Granted the fact that he had a legitimate shoulder injury and needed surgery might have had something to do with it. As a result, that would be the last Lashley match around here for over ten years, as he would need months off to recover and then be released. It’s great to see Kennedy get the credit for injuring him, which isn’t something that is done nearly often enough. You have something handed to you, so run with the thing.

We recap King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler, which started over Booker’s obsession with being the only king.

King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. They stare each other down to start and circle a bit until Lawler scores with some shots to the face. More right hands knock Booker down in the corner but he comes back with a spinning kick to drop Lawler. Back up and the strap comes down to start Lawler’s comeback, meaning it’s time for a bunch of right hands. An elbow gets three but Booker’s foot is on the ropes to kill the celebration. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face again before hammering away in the corner enough to draw a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was a bit confusing as you would think that Booker would pin Lawler when he seems to be set for a big showdown with HHH at Summerslam. Lawler is still great at everything he does though and can draw a crowd in without much effort. Odds are we’re getting a rematch, which I guess is serving as a surrogate since HHH isn’t around.

Post match Lawler is back up and jumps Booker on the ramp. The beating is on until referees break it up.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Mason/Brandon Gatson

JTG punches Mason down to start so it’s off to Gaspard to beat up Gatson. The G9 is good for the pin on Gat on in a hurry.

Post match, Cryme Tyme steals Watson’s boots and offers them to the crowd, with the starting bid at $10,000, cash only. That’s dropped to $5,000 and then all the way down to $20, with the autographs thrown in! Final sale price: $40. Pretty funny bit here with Cryme Tyme showing off some great charisma.

Randy Orton vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Lawler is back on commentary. Orton goes right for the leg to start and we’re in the chinlock early on. Slaughter fights up and grabs a quick cobra clutch but Orton is in the ropes in a hurry. A headbutt staggers Slaughter and the RKO finishes in a hurry.

Rating: D. I still don’t know why Slaughter is trotted out for matches like this, as it’s quite the downgrade from Orton beating up Dusty Rhodes to beating up Slaughter. You knew what you would be seeing as soon as Slaughter showed up, but at least they kept it short. This didn’t really make me want to see Cena beat Orton any more, and it would have been more effective to have him take out Lashley earlier tonight.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Non-title and Orton is at ringside. Cena grabs a headlock to start and messes with the hair, which is too far for Carlito. A way too early FU attempt lets Cena go after the hair again as Cena doesn’t seem to be taking this very seriously. Cena grabs the hair for a bulldog and hits a rather high backdrop. The fisherman’s suplex drops Carlito again and Cena glares down at Orton. Carlito avoids a charge though and grabs a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up in a hurry. Cena loads up the Shuffle but Orton offers a distraction, allowing Carlito to hit the Backstabber for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was more of an angle with a match included, as Carlito barely got in anything until the end. I know pinning Cena is a boost for Carlito, but it doesn’t do as much good when Cena beat him up and looked bored doing so at times. Then again, we’re pretty far beyond the point of Carlito being taken seriously so that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise.

Post match, Carlito spits the apple on Cena, who looks furious to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not quite sure what to think here, as this was a show that didn’t really add anything new, but rather worked on what was already established. The problem is that it wasn’t a very good show with no matches worth seeing. While it wasn’t exactly a terrible show, it wasn’t one that you needed to watch and that is often worse. Maybe the Hardy situation changed a few things, but I can’t imagine it shook the show up that much. Orton vs. Cena is going to carry Summerslam on this side, so hopefully it’s more of the end of the show than the beginning.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 23, 2007 (2021 Redo): Obvious Challenger Is Obvious

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2007
Location: Arco Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Great American Bash and it wasn’t exactly the most impactful show. John Cena is still the WWE Champion, having retained over Bobby Lashley in a very good match that didn’t quite make it all the way to the next level. Now it is time to get ready for Summerslam and I think you can figure out the main event from here. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

Jonathan Coachman is in his office and announces that we will be seeing a new #1 contender crowned by the end of the night. Speaking of champions, the main event will be an All Champions match, as John Cena and Candice Michelle face Umaga/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch. That doesn’t sound fair.

Opening sequence.

We open with a throne and table set up in the ring so here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell. Booker asks Jerome Lawler to get in the ring, where he sits down to a doughnut with a bite taken out of it. Lawler’s mic doesn’t work so Booker mocks the Sacramento Kings for being royalty without winning anything. He has spoken to NBA Commissioner David Stern to rename the team the Sacramento Peasants! Should the players be kings? But more importantly, should HHH be king?

Lawler tries to talk but gets cut off by ALL HAIL KING BOOKER! Lawler says a king is only as good as a kingdom and these people don’t seem to think much of him. Booker: “SILENCE!” Booker is ready to fight so Lawler punches him down and throws the bowl of fruit at him for a bonus. Points for not doing this match in one night as they’re actually setting it up to become something important.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Santino Marella is on commentary as Beth and Mickie get things going. Beth powers her into the corner to start and it’s off to Melina, who gets hit in the face a few times. Maria comes in and gets taken down into a fast hammerlock. That doesn’t last long either as she forearms her way to freedom and brings Mickie back in to clean house. Mickie’s monkey flip sets up Maria’s high crossbody for two with Phoenix making a save. Santino gets up and trips the villains down, leaving Maria to bulldog Melina for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was more about Maria and Santino getting closer than anything else, which is not the most thrilling story but it’s better than nothing. I can go for a women’s match that has nothing to do with the title for a change and it is nice to see a group of women who can wrestle a nice enough match. Not great, but it did its job well enough.

Post match Santino celebrates with the winners.

Video on John Cena retaining over Bobby Lashley last night.

Gerald Brisco tells Cody Rhodes to be aggressive with Randy Orton tonight. Cue Orton, who says Dusty Rhodes didn’t teach Cody very well. Cody doesn’t like that and says Dusty wasn’t afraid of Orton, who says Cody should be afraid. He’ll let Cody back out tonight but Cody will see him out there.

Snitsky likes to hurt people and doesn’t feel any remorse.

John Cena talks to Todd Grisham about tonight’s main event by telling him to picture Candice Michelle. Cena lists off some impressive things about him and how Michelle would suggest they can, ahem, wrestle together. Then they’re interrupted by a 400lb Samoan and the cast of Brokeback Mountain. Cena: “That’s where I’m living right now.” Grisham: “Why would you do that to me?” On top of that, Cena isn’t worried about who he is defending the title against because he is ready for anyone.

Sandman/Jim Duggan vs. Carlito/William Regal

This feels like a tag match pulled out of a fish bowl and I kind of love it. Regal takes Sandman into the corner to start the beating and hands it off to Carlito for more of the same. That doesn’t last long as Sandman gets over to Duggan to pound on Carlito’s head. Regal offers a distraction though and it’s a quick Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Post break Carlito and William Regal brag about their win. Carlito can’t find a trashcan to spit the apple in so he spits it out….and right onto Bobby Lashley. Who I guess he just couldn’t see. Anyway, Carlito runs into the arena and says that wasn’t his fault. Cue Lashley for some violence and destruction.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Orton headlocks him down but Cody is back up with a dropkick and a slap. A crossbody gives Cody two so Orton kicks him into the corner, only to get sunset flipped for two. That’s a bit too much for Orton, who grabs the backbreaker to take over. Cody fights back again but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. A rollup gives Cody two so Orton clotheslines him hard for daring to try something. Back up and Cody misses something off the top, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad for the story they were telling, as Orton knew he wasn’t in danger and toyed with Cody before finishing him off. That’s how this should have gone, as it would have been ridiculous for a rookie to give Orton a serious threat. This should wrap up Orton vs. the Rhodes Family and now he can move on to something bigger.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt so Dusty Rhodes comes out for the save. Orton teases leaving and then Punts Dusty instead, drawing out the annoyed referees.

Post break, Dusty goes out on a stretcher.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, Kennedy promises to become #1 contender. They lock up to start with Hardy driving him into the corner without much trouble. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Kennedy in early trouble and he misses a dropkick to make it worse. The legdrop between the legs connects and it’s time to trade hammerlocks. Kennedy is sent outside with Hardy hitting a big dive as we take a break. Back with Kennedy hitting an Alabama Slam for two as Hardy seems rocked.

The neckbreaker gives Kennedy two and we hit a cravate to stay on the neck. Jeff fights up and tries the Whisper in the Wind but slips and falls backwards onto his head in a scary landing. Not that it matters as Hardy fights back up and slugs away, setting up the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Swanton is loaded up so Kennedy rolls outside, allowing Hardy to hit the running clothesline off the barricade. Hardy sends him up to the stage and then sprints back to the ring for the win. It works in Wrestlemania 2000 and No Mercy so it works here too.

Rating: C. This was a good way to get Hardy back on track after his pretty awesome fight against Umaga last night. That’s exactly what he needs to bring him back up a bit, as he could be in for a pretty solid push in the near future. Kennedy doesn’t take a fall either, making this a rather nice way to present both of them.

Commentary gets serious when talking about Randy Orton attacking Dusty Rhodes.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam, complete with the Six Million Dollar Man theme.

Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Haas takes London into the corner to start and it’s off to Benjamin for a chinlock. That’s broken up so it’s off to Kendrick, who gets kicked in the head. Now it’s Haas grabbing a chinlock of his own, which is broken up just as fast. London comes back in as everything breaks down but Kendrick misses a dive to the floor. That leaves Benjamin to jump onto London’s back, setting up a German suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. Believe it or not, two very talented tag teams were able to deliver a good tag match. I could have gone for a good bit more of this as the technical abilities vs. the high flying should have made for a heck of a match. Instead, we got a fun but rushed match as Haas and Benjamin get reheated.

We look at Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes again.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell again. Sharmell talks about how Jerry Lawler took things too far earlier and wouldn’t take Booker’s offer. The challenge is on for next week and Booker promises to end the reign of blasphemy.

Candice Michelle cries to Coach about the main event but Coach doesn’t care.

John Cena/Candice Michelle vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Umaga

Non-title and No DQ. Cena goes after the three of them to start until Umaga takes him down and hammers away. Murdoch takes Cena down from behind and hammers away with crossfaces. Umaga powers Cena into the corner but Candice gets chased into the ring. Cade and Murdoch hold her for the running hip attack but here is Jeff Hardy with a chair (including some scary shots to Umaga’s head) so Candice can escape. Cade is sent outside and Murdoch walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much more than a way to have Cena out there so we could find out the #1 contender. That being said, it’s also pretty lame to have him go over the three champions, even with Hardy helping. Nothing to the match of course, though Candice did at least look terrified.

Post match Cena celebrates and walks into the RKO as Randy Orton is the next challenger.

Overall Rating: C-. Kind of a weird show as they were so focused on the World Title challenger that nothing else felt important. The Booker vs. Lawler stuff should be good, though that is only going to get you so far. It didn’t help that Orton was the only logical choice for a challenger, leaving really only Lashley as a (distant) secondary option. Not the worst show, but it was a long time to get to a fairly obvious ending.

 

 

 

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Great American Bash 2007 (2021 Redo): The Vibe Man, The Vibe

Great American Bash 2007
Date: July 22, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,034
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a bit of a weird show as we have the big fight between John Cena and Bobby Lashley for the Raw World Title, but the Smackdown World Title is a little screwy. Edge was forced to vacate the title due to an injury, with Great Khali becoming the new champion via a battle royal. Therefore, it’s Khali defending against Kane and Batista in the big hoss fight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the fireworks will begin before running down the big matches.

US Title: MVP vs. Matt Hardy

MVP is defending and gets driven into the corner for a clean break to start. Hardy already has him bailing out to the floor before it’s time to fight over wrist control back inside. MVP’s wristlock is countered with a roll to the floor, meaning Hardy can score with an over the top dive. Back in and MVP knocks him down again though, setting up a crossarm choke. Hardy fights up again and hits a suplex for two, with MVP bailing to the floor again.

They head back inside, where Matt gets pulled off the ropes for a nasty crash. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy again but he hits a desperation knockdown. Hardy gets caught on top though and a superplex gives MVP a delayed near fall. A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody (or bulldog according to Cole) and Hardy starts slugging away.

Now a middle rope elbow to the back of a standing MVP (again, a bulldog according to Cole, which is close enough this time) gets two and the Side Effect gets the same, with the fans WAY into this. Another Side Effect is countered into a cradle to give MVP two of his own but he misses the running boot in the corner. The Twist of Fate is countered as well though and now the running boot drops Hardy. The Playmaker retains MVP’s title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but then they were rolling by the end. I’m a bit surprised by the ending as Hardy had been on a roll and they were hyping up his first major singles title win, but maybe they’re saving it for later. Still though, good choice for an opener here and the fans were way into Hardy’s near falls.

Dusty Rhodes is ready for Randy Orton and doesn’t know why everyone is so somber around here. He isn’t laying down for Orton because he isn’t done around here, so it’s time for Orton’s back to crack and liver to quiver. Respect is promised, which sends Dusty into a story about a bull looking down the hill at some cows. Then the bull said moo. As much as I want to mock this for being insane….it’s Dusty.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Funaki, Jamie Noble,

Chavo Guerrero is defending in a bonus match and it’s one fall to a finish. Hold on though as here is Hornswoggle to dive across the ring and then hide underneath. Chavo gets jumped to start and sent outside, leaving everyone else to go after each other. Yang and Noble are left alone in the ring until Chavo is back in to rock Yang with a belly to back suplex. Noble powerslams Yang for two but gets sent outside, heaving Chavo to half crab Yang.

Funaki breaks that up with an enziguri as everyone is back in to keep up the brawling. Noble counters Funaki’s tornado DDT into an armbar but Chavo breaks it up again. The Gory Bomb hits Funaki and there are Two Amigos to Yang, with Noble making a save. A big dive takes out Funaki so Moore hits Yang in the head. Yang goes up but gets taken down with the Tower of Doom. With Noble down, Hornswoggle comes back in with a Tadpole Splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Normally I would get annoyed at a comedy act winning the title, but the thing has been so worthless for such a long time now that this is almost an upgrade. WWE does not care about the title so just let them move along to something else. The action was rather fast paced as it should be in this case, but the ending is all that matters here. Somehow it might be an upgrade, which should tell you everything you need to know about the cruiserweight division at the moment.

Hornswoggle goes back underneath the ring and then runs up the ramp to escape the angry mob.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s rise to the top of the company.

Sandman vs. Carlito

Singapore cane on a pole. Carlito spits at Sandman to get the chase going before the match, because ticking off Sandman is a good idea. After a lockup, they both go after the cane because that’s kind of the point. A hammerlock of all things has Carlito down so Sandman goes for the cane but has to backdrop Carlito outside.

Back in and Carlito hammers away a bit, setting up a dropkick to put Sandman down for a change. It’s too early for Carlito to get the cane so he tries again, with Sandman pulling him down this time. Carlito’s springboard back elbow is blocked so Sandman gets the cane, only to get caught in the Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: D. So not only did they have a bad match, but then the whole point of the thing wound up being a big waste of time. This was one of the weaker things on a WWE pay per view in a long time now and it isn’t even like it was there to let fans come down from something else. Bad stuff here, and not the best sign for Sandman’s future.

Randy Orton isn’t happy that he has to face Dusty Rhodes, who is going to get hurt like Shawn Michaels.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and gets taken down by an armbar to start. That’s broken up so Michelle goes with a headlock takeover, setting up a bridge into a backslide to give Melina two. A running Blockbuster drops Melina as they’re going with more wrestling this time. Melina catches her in the corner with the middle rope knees to the ribs, setting up the screaming. JR: “Melina with the guttural passion!” Lawler: “WHAT???”

The double arm crank doesn’t last long for Melina as Candice fights up to start the comeback. A high crossbody gets two but Melina grabs a neckbreaker (into the splits) for the same. Candice is right back with a jawbreaker into a standing bulldog (the Candy Wrapper) to retain.

Rating: C. It wasn’t the best match, but Candice is getting better and better in the ring every week. You can see the change in quality over the last few months and that is a great thing to see. The matches still aren’t great, but I can always go for people trying to get better and actually making it happen.

Wrestlemania is in Orlando.

Matt Hardy gives Jeff Hardy a pep talk before his Intercontinental Title match. Then Candice Michelle shows up and pours water over herself as special music plays. The Hardys are impressed, setting up the Ron Simmons cameo.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and wastes no time in knocking Hardy outside. Hardy gets sent into the apron but comes back with the jawbreaker inside. Not that it matters as Umaga plants him with a Samoan drop, setting up a rather large legdrop. Some hard whips into the corner bang up Hardy’s back so we hit the logical nerve hold. Hardy fights up but gets pulled down by the head, meaning the hold can go on again.

Another escape goes a bit faster so Umaga takes him down again, setting up some springboard seated sentons to the chest. The swinging Rock Bottom gets two and dang the crowd reacts to the kickout. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt though and Hardy knocks him outside. There’s the first dive, setting up the basement dropkick for two back inside. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton gets a delayed two but Umaga superkicks him into the corner. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was right in Hardy’s wheelhouse: fighting a match where he gets beaten into oblivion for a long time and then comes back to nearly win in the end. There are very few people who can make the fans believe in him like Hardy can and it was on full display here. Heck of a performance and I could see this one getting a rematch.

Video on John Cena’s rise to the top of WWE to become WWE Champion.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending after switching from Johnny Nitro to Morrison earlier this week. They go to the mat to start with Punk working on a hammerlock. That’s switched into a headlock to keep Morrison in trouble before Punk hits a slingshot suplex for two. A monkey flip sends Morrison onto his face and then out to the floor for a breather. Punk follows, only to be dropped face first onto the steps.

Back in and Punk is fine enough to try the GTS but Morrison slips out and kicks him in the face. A belly to back faceplant gives Morrison two and it’s time to stomp away. Punk is back with his own strikes though, including a discus lariat into a flapjack for two. An exchange of rollups get two each before Punk opts to kick him in the head instead. The corner knee looks to set up the bulldog but Morrison bails to the floor. Punk throws him back in and loads up the springboard clothesline but gets kneed/kicked out of the air to retain Morrison’s title.

Rating: C. This was a quick one and the ending was rather sudden. It wouldn’t surprise me if this was clipped a bit as they seemed to be getting started when they wrapped up. Punk losing another match to Morrison is a little weird, but they’re making Morrison seem like a bigger deal as champion. The problem is he doesn’t have many serious challengers so odds are we’ll be seeing a rematch between these two soon.

We recap Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Orton in a Texas Bullrope match. Orton doesn’t like Dusty’s son Cody and slapped both of them. Throw in Dusty being a legend and the violence is out of Orton’s hands. The classic clips and promos here are good enough to make this worth a look.

Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes

Texas Bullrope match, but with pin/submission rules. Orton stalls before being tied to the rope (as expected) and then does it again for a bonus. The third attempt finally works and it’s Orton missing an early swing. Instead, Dusty crotches Orton with the rope and then uses it to pull him hard into the post. Orton’s attempt to get out is cut off with another hard pull on the rope but he comes back with some bell shots to the knee.

We hit the chinlock, with the rope being wrapped around Dusty’s face to make it worse. Dusty starts reaching out to the fans to power him up though and Orton gets driven into the corner. That doesn’t seem to matter as Orton pounds away, only to get elbowed in the head. The big elbow misses though and Orton hits him in the head with the bell for the win.

Rating: C-. This was as good as it was going to get, as Dusty was retired from wrestling at this level and there was no way he was going to beat the biggest heel on Raw. It was nice to see Dusty get that one last entrance for his signature match and he even got to do some of his stuff, making this more of a tribute than anything else. This would be Dusty’s last match, at least on any kind of a big stage.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Cody Rhodes runs in for the save.

We recap the triple threat for the Smackdown World Title. Great Khali won the vacant title on Smackdown (as Edge was injured, again) and then interrupted a #1 contenders match between Kane and Batista setting up the triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali is defending and holds the title upside down again. Batista and Khali get knocked down at the same time to start and some individual clotheslines do it again. Something like a spinwheel kick drops Batista again and we’re already in the nerve hold. Kane makes the save so Khali nerve holds him instead. Batista’s save earns him a chokeslam, followed by a second to Kane.

They head outside with some double teaming working a bit better, including a posting to rock Khali. A double chokeslam/spinebuster puts Khali through the announcers’ table and it’s down to the two normal sized monsters. Back in and Batista hits a powerslam for two but Kane drops him again. Khali comes back in and gets chokeslammed (work with me here) but Batista clotheslines Kane to the floor. With Khali on the floor, the Batista Bomb plants Kane, with Khali making a fast(ish) save. Batista is sent into the steps and it’s the chokebomb to Kane to retain the title.

Rating: C. Another match where they were smart to keep it short, but what mattered here was managing to have Khali outside or at least limited for most of the time. Kane and Batista did their power match stuff and Khali came in when he needed to, making this about as good as it could have been. Khali isn’t very good, but there are ways to hide that to a certain extent.

Khali manages to hold the title the right way up!

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell for a chat. Booker isn’t pleased with this HHH nonsense because he is the one king around here. That brings him to Jerome Lawler, who Booker wants in the ring to surrender his crown. Lawler tells him to come take it, which Booker calls an act of treason. I guess we’ll deal with that later though.

We recap John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley for the Raw World Title. Various stars and legends give their picks because this is presented as a dream match. Cena has been champion for a long time but Lashley is the young up and comer who seems ready to win the title. Showdown abounds.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

Cena is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. They go with the big power lockup to start and Cena is driven into the corner for a rare visual. The test of strength has Cena down but he fights back up as they’re channeling a bit of Warrior vs. Hogan here. Lashley wrestles him down a few times so Cena tries a headlock. With that not working, the threat of the STF sends Lashley bailing to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena scores with the bulldog, setting up an elbow drop for two. The fisherman’s suplex gives Cena the same but Lashley is back with a t-bone suplex. Back up and Lashley hits a side slam for two and we hit the somewhat delayed suplex for the same. A quick Throwback gets Cena out of trouble and the top rope Fameasser rocks Lashley again. Back up and Lashley lifts him up for something like a gutbuster onto the shoulder, setting up a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs.

Commentary can’t remember Cena ever wrestling a challenger with this kind of amateur abilities as Cena fights up and hits the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle connects but Lashley grabs a powerslam for another near fall. The torture rack dropped into a backbreaker looks to set up the running powerslam but Cena slips out and hits an FU. That’s good for a very delayed two and Cena charges into an elbow in the corner.

The spear is countered into the STFU in the middle of the ring (JR is having a blast calling this) but Lashley powers over to the ropes. Lashley pops up with a spear for two so he loads Cena up top, only to get reversed into a super FU (with Cena staying on top instead of going down with him) to retain the title.

Rating: B. It was a big match and a heck of a showdown, though it didn’t quite make it to the next level. What mattered here is they felt like it was a dream match, though Cena just winning again in the end was kind of a letdown. They didn’t need to change the title here, but it never became epic. Instead, we just have a rather good match and a B level pay per view main event.

Replays and respect are shown to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B-. The show delivered and possibly even over delivered, but this did feel like a middle of the road level pay per view. There were some good (but not great) matches and that’s enough for a show like the Great American Bash. That being said, this is more about a stepping stone on the way to Summerslam for the huge show, but we got something solid enough here too.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 16, 2007 (2021 Redo): It Defies The Very Nature Of The Monarchy

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and that means we need to finalize some of the card. The show’s main event is set as Bobby Lashley will challenge John Cena for the Raw World Title, but there are still a few things that can be added. Maybe we can even get an interesting card together. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with HHH’s King of Kings theme, but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell coming out instead. Booker thinks you might have been expecting someone else, but suggesting that HHH is the King of Kings is blasphemy. There is one King on Raw and it is NOT HHH. Therefore, as of right now, HHH is stripped of the name king, leaving Booker alone as the King. Well save for one person, which sends Booker over to Jerry Lawler.

Booker has respected him for many, many (of) years but now he wants Lawler to drop the King name. Lawler says he’s been a fan of Booker for many years, but he has been the King for thirty years and thinks they can co-exist. That’s not cool with Booker because it DEFIES THE VERY NATURE OF MONARCHY! Booker wants Lawler to kiss his ring, but that is a flat out no. You don’t tell Booker no so he ORDERS Lawler to do it instead. Still a no, so Booker is ready to fight, only to get punched down. Referees break it up and I think we have a match for later. Lawler looked fired up here and the fans seemed into it.

Ric Flair picks John Cena over Bobby Lashley. This goes on a bit longer than it needs to.

Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella

Elimination rules and the winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot against Umaga at Great American Bash. Hardy and Benjamin go to the floor to start, leaving Santino to cross armbreaker Regal to the ropes. The other two get back in with Shelton suplexing Santino for two, allowing Regal to knee Santino in the head for the fast pin. Benjamin goes after Regal but has to catch Hardy in an electric chair.

We take a break and come back with Hardy taking a double suplex for a double two. Benjamin and Regal get into a fight because they’re kind of schnooks, including Regal suplexing him down. The villains ram heads, leaving Jeff to unload on Regal in the corner. The slingshot dropkick misses though and Regal gets to hammer away again.

A missed charge goes badly though as Hardy grabs the Twist of Fate to get us down to two. Benjamin is right back up with the Blockbuster for two of his own but Hardy sends him outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and the Swanton misses but Hardy kicks out anyway. Benjamin grabs a piledriver, which is reversed into a quick rollup to give Hardy the pin (that was kind of sudden so I wonder if something was changed on the fly there).

Rating: C. The ending was a bit odd but moving Hardy into this spot is a good idea. He and Marella were the only realistic options and I don’t think anyone is overly interested in another Marella vs. Umaga match. Hardy is the kind of guy you can get behind in a hurry and that should work out fine for Sunday.

Edge picks John Cena.

Randy Orton is ready to destroy Cody Rhodes. Look at what he did to Shawn Michaels and imagine what he can do to Cody. Then imagine what he’s going to do to Dusty Rhodes on Sunday. Orton wants Dusty there ringside so he can get a preview.

Maria tries to console Santino Marella, who talks about watching Transformers yesterday. He feels like he doesn’t belong here….but spending the night with her could help him. Maria seems game, mainly due to the offer of pancakes the next morning.

Batista picks Bobby Lashley.

Snitsky likes to hurt people.

Snitsky vs. Val Venis

Snitsky powers him down to start with the shoulders and clotheslines. The pumphandle slam is good for the fast pin on Venis.

Post match, Snitsky hits another pumphandle slam for good measure.

Cody Rhodes talks about how proud he is of his dad and knows he could never be a bigger star than Dusty. There is no RKO that can slow down and he’s ready for Orton.

Here is Jerry Lawler in the ring to explain the Texas Bullrope match. Lawler goes over the rules, including the things he has seen Dusty Rhodes do to people in this match before. Cue Randy Orton to cut him off though….and doesn’t actually do anything. This is something Lawler should do more often, as he can explain things well and is someone fans will listen to.

Video on Randy Orton ending some careers.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

This is Cody’s in-ring debut and Dusty Rhodes is in his corner. Cody jumps over him in the corner to start but gets blasted by a clothesline for his efforts. Orton takes too much time yelling at Dusty so Cody can start the comeback, only to miss a crossbody. There’s the powerslam into a knee drop as Orton is getting into a more serious mode. A snap suplex sets up the chinlock before Orton can hammer away again. Cody manages a shot to the face though and a missile dropkick gets two (with a big reaction from the crowd). The backbreaker cuts Cody off though and it’s the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much more than a squash, but that’s all it should have been. Cody is in his first match on Raw so what would you expect him to be able to do to someone like Orton here? Orton wasn’t even all that evil here but he never felt like he was in any serious danger. This went as it should have and it could have been a lot worse, as Cody does seem to have been well trained.

Post match, Dusty comes in to check on Cody but glares at Orton for teasing the Punt.

Steve Austin picks John Cena.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Beth Phoenix and Candice Michelle are here too. Melina glares at Candice so Mickie rolls her up for a fast two. Back up and Mickie sends her face first into the corner but a Beth distraction lets Melina score with a kick to the ribs. A neck crank keeps Mickie in trouble but she fights up and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner has Melina rocked but Beth grabs Mickie’s leg. That’s enough for Melina to hit the standing legdrops for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was a fine way to build Melina back up to the next title match as now Candice might have to worry about Beth as well. Mickie is bulletproof in this division so having Melina beat her while cheating is hardly a horrible situation. Not exactly a must see match, but it got things ready for the Great American Bash.

Smackdown Rebound.

William Regal comes up to Jim Duggan (what a pair), who gives us some fast catchphrases. Coach has sent Regal to get the 2×4 because he wants it bronzed. Duggan says no one puts his hands on his hardware, sending them into a series of innuendos (being down on knees and wood in hand are mentioned). Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase and Regal does his disgusted face.

Mick Foley picks Bobby Lashley.

Carlito vs. Sandman

Sandman goes technical to start with a wristlock and manages to take Carlito down. Back up and Carlito slugs away, even busting Sandman open a bit. The neck crank goes on but Sandman fights up without much trouble. Cue William Regal (who Sandman took out last week) to jump Sandman for the DQ.

Post match Jim Duggan makes the save to actually pay off the earlier segment. I wouldn’t have bet on that one.

JBL picks John Cena.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Fallout from Crazy stealing a pin on Kennedy a few weeks ago in the Beat The Clock Challenge. Kennedy shoves him into the corner to start but Crazy comes out with a spinwheel kick. Crazy hammers away in the corner until a forearm cuts that off in a hurry. They slug it out again until Kennedy goes to the eyes for a breather. The abdominal stretch goes on but Crazy escapes and slugs away again, including a running clothesline. Back to back moonsaults look to set up a third, only to have Kennedy crotch him on top. A reverse superplex finishes Crazy off.

Rating: C. Another short and to the point match here to blow off the mini feud. Crazy got a nice rub out of the whole thing but ultimately there is only so far for him to go. Kennedy is likely on his way back to the main event scene so there was no reason to not give him this win. I’m not sure what is next for him, but a win over Crazy at least gives him some momentum.

Great American Bash rundown.

Here is Coach to emcee the Bobby Lashley vs. John Cena face off. Coach lists off the people Cena has beaten and asks why Cena believes he can survive. Yes, Cena, with some fake tears, feels that his title reign could end because Lashley speared him a few weeks ago. And even worse: he never learned to read! We get the Billy Madison “I award you no points” line before Cena gets serious with Lashley.

Cena has fought the best and won and lost, but Lashley will get his best. Lashley isn’t into talking and turns over his podium but Coach cuts them off. That’s too much for Lashley, who goes after Coach, only to have Cena tell him to focus on what matters. They do the big showdown but referees get Lashley to the back. Cena promises to test Lashley on Sunday so here is Lashley again, meaning the brawl is on to end the show. This was a pretty by the book segment but it worked, partially due to Cena’s energy.

Overall Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of wrestling here but they made me want to see more than one match at the pay per view. Cena vs. Lashley went from big to epic in a hurry so points for doing what they do well. I’m looking forward to the pay per view and that’s a lot more important than having a good match on Raw.

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1996 (2012 Redo): The Blue Chip

Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart/British Bulldog

Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon, Godwinns

Owen Hart, British Bulldog, New Rockers

Kevin Kelly is in the boiler room with Mankind, who he abandoned Undertaker for at Summerslam. Tonight the huge rivalry continues with Bearer locked in a small cage above the ring. This is when Mankind was still relatively new (he debuted about six and a half months before this) and no one knew what to make of him yet. All anyone knew was he could beat up Undertaker which was unheard of at the time.

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Bearer has to be locked in the small cage. This is a Cornette Special. Taker lowers down from the rafters in what can only be called a Batman costume minus the mask. Taker also has on a new attire for this, which is basically a biker vest and leather pants. That would become his standard look for the next three years or so. Mankind rams him into the small cage to start and they head to the floor very quickly.

We head to the floor for the third time via a Cactus Clothesline and they head into the crowd. Mankind charges at Taker but gets backdropped over the barricade and onto the concrete. A low blow puts Taker down on the apron and down onto the floor, where Mankind hits the elbow off the apron. Taker gets sent into the buckle but comes back with an elbow to the face.

Old School hits but Mankind pops up and hits a double arm DDT to put Taker down. Mankind goes up but jumps into a chokeslam. The Claw goes on but Taker chokeslams him anyway. Cool spot. Taker tries a cross body but he crashes over the top and out to the floor. Mankind tries a flip dive off the apron but crashes just as badly as Taker did. Back in and Mankind tries a quick sleeper, only to be suplexed down by Taker.

Sunny (still smoking hot and not smoking crack here) comes out for commentary.

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush

Marc Mero, Jake Roberts, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia

Bret says MSG is holy ground for him.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Austin escapes a backbreaker with a rake of the eyes as momentum shifts again. Bret gets sent to the floor and Austin just pounds on him with forearms and punches. Austin rams him back first into the post as the attacks shifts to the back. Bret comes back by sending him into the barricade, breaking the thing apart. They head into the front row and knock the barricade over. Austin is in trouble again and Bret chases him to the other side of the ring.

Sid is ready for Shawn tonight.

Team Farrooq vs. Team Yokozuna

Farrooq, Vader, Razor Ramon, Diesel

Yokozuna, Flash Funk, Savio Vega, Jimmy Snuka

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Shawn avoids a charge into the corner and goes after the knee some more. Sid kicks him into the ropes and Shawn skins the cat, but Sid clotheslines him right to the floor. Shawn gets dropped on the barricade which gets two back inside. Sid hits a few running kicks to the head in the corner as things slow down again. Michaels avoids a charge in the corner and goes up, with the fans openly booing him now.

The champ dives into a backbreaker for two and Shawn can barely get up. Shawn fights up and turns it into a slugout with Sid going down. We get the always stupid looking jump into the boot spot and Sid puts on a cobra clutch. Shawn fights up and walks into a chokeslam. The place is exploding for Sid here. The powerbomb is countered into a small package for two but Sid gets the same off a powerslam.

Shawn scrambles to the back to check on Jose.

Ratings Comparison

Team Furnas and Lafon vs. Team Owen Hart and British Bulldog

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Original: C+

Redo: B

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Farrooq vs. Team Yokozuna

Original: D-

Redo: F

Sycho Sid vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B+

Like I said, I liked it better than I rememebred.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1996-bret-vs-austin-the-prequel-and-rock-debuts/

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1996 (Original): For The First Time

Survivor Series 1996
Date: November 17, 1996
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,647
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

Now you can see the Attitude Era being born at this show, and it comes from one man: Stone Cold Steve Austin. Shawn Michaels is the WWF Champion, having won it at Mania 12. After beating Bret Hart, Bret left the company for six months and in that time, Austin won the King of the Ring and uttered the most legendary catchphrase of all time: Austin 3:16.

He then began calling out Hart, saying that he didn’t care what Hart had done, because Hart couldn’t beat Austin on Hart’s best day. That’s one of your main events. Your other is Shawn vs. Sid for the title. Yeah that’s kind of an afterthought here. We have our standard Survivor Series matches as well, with the debut of one of the biggest stars of all time here. I haven’t seen this show all the way through in years but it looks very good. Let’s see if it is.

We start off by seeing a big recap of how the WWF has been taking over New York, including the Hall of Fame inductions which they don’t even mention who was inducted so that should tell you how important it was. This was actually pretty good. I’m actually looking forward to this one.

Owen Hart/British Bulldog/New Rockers vs. Furnace/Lafon/Godwins

We immediately start it up here and Lawler is on commentary for this match only. That was a weird part to the show. Anyway, the New Rockers are heels here and it’s Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy, more commonly known as Al Snow. Now I’ve heard a lot about how great Furnace and Lafon are, but I’ve never seen it. They’re not bad at all, but they’re average to me. Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll give them another chance as I have no reason at all to hate them yet.

Oh apparently on the Free For All which was the preshow that anyone could watch, Bart Gunn was the survivor in a match. That’s a really bad sign for the rest of the evening. This is Furnace and Lafon’s WWF debut but they’re big stars in Japan. Ok then. The Godwinns have Hillbilly Jim and therefore are ridiculously popular. Like I’ve said, he’s one of those guys that was popular for a variety of reasons, but the biggest was that he never overstayed his welcome.

That’s something that a lot of unserious characters today need to get. Also, not all characters are going to be main event guys. Look at Kofi for example. Is anyone going to buy him as a main event wrestler? In the ring yes but not with that gimmick, and that’s fine.

Anyway, on to the match. We start with Lafon vs. Jannetty so already Lafon is the bigger name. Marty is just such an epic fail as a heel it’s unbelievable. Lafon isn’t bad at all. He’s not great but I’m not bored with him or anything. Now it’s over to Phineas, more commonly known as Mideon. All of a sudden I’d love to have Lafon back in there. Snow is really quite underrated. It’s a shame he always got such insane gimmicks.

The heels all beat on Mideon which gets a bit repetitive. The problem with this match is getting clearer and clearer: there is a complete lack of star power out there. I have no desire to see these guys wrestle each other at all. Ross is getting very heel-esque here with a lot of his lines. I’m assuming another failed attempt at making him a character would be coming soon. It never worked at all yet Vince did it like three times.

Marty and Henry go out within 10 seconds of each other, the first to a Slop Drop (Scorpion Death Drop) and Henry to a spinning heel kick by Owen. Well that was quick and not incredibly painful I suppose. Phineas has one of his weird fits where he becomes unstoppable and somehow even worse than he usually was. It’s very similar to Festus after the bell ringing. What is it with hillbillies and moods like that? It’s rather stupid.

Anyway, he walks into the powerslam from Davey and it’s 3-2. Furnace comes in and botches a dropkick. I’m not sure whose fault that was, but Bulldog was supposed to hold the ropes I think. Furnace landed on Bulldog’s back. It looked odd and was clearly a blown spot. Owen lands a Perfectplex. That’s just odd to see.

JR asks if he’s the only one thinking here as the referees are messing up by having the outside referee do nothing at all. Vince sounds so utterly bored that it’s downright laughable. Upon me actually thinking, Ross was indeed in the middle of a heel angle here. Considering it took me 10 minutes to remember that, you can tell how effective it was. Lafon hits a sick looking reverse suplex from the middle rope to end Cassidy and it’s the tag champions against Furnace and Lafon.

Bulldog hits a nip up. That was surprising. Ross says he looks strong. That…doesn’t make much since. The heels beat up on the faces for awhile until we get a slugfest between Lafon and Bulldog. In a perfectly fluid moment, Bulldog casually kicks him in the balls. That was a sweet heel move. Ross of course screams how awful the referees are.

Lafon gets Bulldog with a quick rollup to make it 2-1 and I think we can see the ending coming already. Owen gets the Sharpshooter as Ross is really getting annoying. Furnace breaks it up. Both guys are down after a sweet looking spin kick by Lafon to counter Owen. Furnace is in and he’s pretty good. He hits a bad release German suplex though where you can see that Owen’s head doesn’t actually hit the mat as he flips over. It was bad looking but most people won’t notice that so it’s fine.

Rating: B-. I’m not sure if I get the point of this match. I know it was to get Furnace and Lafon over, but did it need the other four guys? This could easily have been just a regular tag match, maybe non title or have ended with the heels running away etc. The wrestling was ok, but I found it to be overkill.

A certain rookie is nervous but ready. That takes two minutes to say.

We go to the boiler room with Mankind and Paul Bearer who say Taker won’t get their hands on Bearer. Foley had this character at a completely scary level.

Mankind vs. Undertaker

The catch here is that Bearer is in a cage above the ring. This was a white hot feud at the time as Mankind was a different kind of opponent for Taker for one reason: he might have been able to take a bigger beating than Taker which was unheard of. No matter how much he beat on him, Taker couldn’t get rid of Mankind. They traded wins in gimmick matches and regular matches, but Taker just can’t end him. That’s a nice touch and change of pace.

This is I think their 4th match on PPV. Bearer won’t get in and Ross thinks that it’s because he can’t fit in it. The gong goes off and the people freak out. Considering this is being written the night after Breaking Point, allow me: YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! Oh that felt good. Anyway, his entrance is over the top even for him. He comes down from the rafters with his arms spread and his cape, yes it’s a cape, out behind him.

Yes, it’s the Undertaker imitating Batman. Just picture that for a minute. Where’s Doink when we need him? Did I really just say that? See what this show is doing to me and we’re 30 minutes into it. Bearer hides in the cage as we get underway. There’s a cage cam and Ross is way too excited about it. Taker’s outfit looks like it’s leather and shiny. Taker is not only Batman but apparently a dominatrix.

This was the very beginning of a new phase in Taker’s career as he began shifting more towards the evil monster and more demonic of a character. He shows this transformation by using a drop toe hold. He then goes to a wrist lock and then a Fujiwara Armbar. This is just odd to see. Taker is going after Mankind’s hand, which makes perfect sense due to the leathalness of the Mandible Claw. Taker misses an elbow and is up before Mankind. That’s just sweet.

Taker’s outfit reminds me of Rocky Horror for some reason. Ross hypes up a show in London for no good reason. He sounds like he did in WCW which is odd indeed. We hit the crowd which Ross calls the streets. Yeah that looks like a place people drive Jimbo. Back in the ring, we go to a wider shot that just looks odd. You can see the first two rows on either side instead of the usual closer standard shot. Taker bites the fingers used for the claw.

Call me stupid, but wouldn’t that be like asking for the hold to be put on you? The fingers are there, so why doesn’t Mankind just put the hold on? It sounds simple to me, but I’m no professional I guess. I’ll try to find a new catchphrase as I’m growing tired of that. He fights off the Claw as Ross won’t shut up about the freaking cage cam. The random painted on tear drop on Taker’s cheek is just odd.

Mankind finally hits the Claw for about a second but Mankind is launched to the floor to break it up. I don’t ever recall two guys this big doing bumps this hard for this long of a feud. That’s quite impressive, and the scary thing is their biggest match was nearly two years away at this point. As Piper would say, Old School is cool. I wonder if he liked Will Ferrell.

Foley goes up and Taker just starts popping him with big punches that sound sick. He sets for a chokeslam but the Claw breaks that up. Vince keeps calling the chokeslam the Goozle. What in the world is that? It sounds like a screwed up version of Google. Eventually he breaks it and chokeslams Mankind. Why didn’t he just bite him like he did earlier? Have some consistency please, I beg of you. Mankind misses a forward roll to the floor.

If he had done a barrel roll he would have hit it. Vince, stop suggesting things. I would suggest you shut up immediately. Who told you that you could commentate well? I want them shot. Foley has some weird spike thing. It sounds like he’s saying s a t. I never got the point of his babbling but I liked it. It added a weird something to his character that made him somehow even more insane, if that’s possible.

Anyway, as Mankind pounds on him, Taker just casually picks him up and tombstones him to end this. That was abrupt. Bearer is lowered down but the Executioner runs out to save Paul. He gets the quickest beating ever as the heels all leave. This led to a one off bad match between the two at an In Your House where Taker beat him up with relative ease.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t one of their better matches. That’s the problem that these two had: they had to top their last match every time and eventually they’d have something like this. It’s a good match, but by comparison it’s not much at all. Either way, this was pretty good I guess. It’s certainly passable, but the ending came from absolutely nowhere, which isn’t something I tend to like. Still, this was fine.

Sunny comes out for commentary on the next match because she has boobs. That is a very catchy song.

HHH’s Team vs. Marc Mero’s Team

Mero: Stalker (Barry Windham), Jake Roberts, Rocky Maivia

HHH: Crush, Goldust, Jerry Lawler

HHH is Intercontinental Champion here, which he would soon lose to Rocky. This is Rocky’s debut with the company and he’s just SO happy to be here. That would become his gimmick: he’s getting beaten up a lot, but he’s happy to be here. Eventually he would win the IC belt, and he was still happy. He lost it and he wouldn’t stop smiling. Then the crowd told him to die, and a gimmick change was needed.

The Rock was born and the rest is pure history, as opposed to unpure history which isn’t pure. We get a quick interview from the heels which is all standard stuff. Lawler’s music is so freaking snobbish that it’s awesome. He would more or less retire soon after this and just become an announcer. Ross says he is having a hard time getting a raise from Vince. That’s just weird to hear this early. HHH’s belt is white as apparently he’s channeling Warrior.

Sunny and Ross get into it as Sunny points out there’s no woman with HHH. Ross of course is pissed off at this because that’s what Ross does. He doesn’t have his hat either. Ross as a heel is just awful because he’s a whiny little an. Stalker is wearing a WWF t-shirt. I have no idea what this gimmick was supposed to be, but it completely failed. Mark Henry was supposed to be on the face team, but he’s been replaced by Jake Roberts.

I guess Mero was captain leading into this? Roberts was doing the preacher thing at this point and has the big yellow snake out. Jake’s music never got old to me. He did but his music didn’t. The alcohol jokes begin already. These intros are taking WAY too long. We cut to a shot outside the arena for no apparent reason other than to say we’re LIVE.

We start (finally) with Mero and Lawler. Windham has a handlebar porn star mustache going on. It’s blonde, making it look very creepy indeed. Ok, no contact is made and Stalker is tagged in. I hate this match already. Lawler tags out. Stalker tags Mero which makes HHH run. There has still been zero contact. Sunny is talking about how downloaded she is and HOLY CRAP THEY’RE FIGHTING! Apparently Mr. Perfect is gone again as Helmsely threw him out or something.

Now it’s Stalker who is sloppy beyond belief. Oddly enough he’s a former world champion. Dang there’s a lot of gold in this. Ok so it’s just HHH and Rocky that had a lot but they make up for the rest. Again, Mero gets tagged in and HHH runs. This is just stupid. I get that it’s a heel tactic, but I want to see some wrestling, not a track meet. Why is Crush in this match? I don’t get it.

He would be joining the Nation soon enough, but at this point he has zero going on for him. I have no idea why he’s in this match either. Rocky vs. Lawler now, and good grief he looks awesome. You could tell they were going to push him to the freaking moon. He gets called Dwayne Johnson here, which I don’t think ever happened again. On to Rock vs. HHH, and the idea that they would steal the freaking show in less than two years in this arena blows my mind.

Everybody gets to beat on Rocky for awhile as Sunny apparently wants a piece of Rocky. Ross makes a reference to Crush being in jail and Vince doesn’t like it. Crush was a dark horse to be WWF Champion and he got sent to jail for weapons issues, throwing Vince’s plans off. If nothing else he would have won the IC Title or have gotten a huge push.

Sunny says Vince wears a toupee which amuses me. Rocky finally gets Jake in and the crowd pops hard. After a brief beatdown and some tasteless Lawler jokes, the DDT makes it 4-3 with Jerry being gone. Considering HHH would be in DX in a year, hearing Ross say he’s all business makes me laugh.

Windham comes in and gets less than no reaction. I mean the crowd is dead. Soon afterwards the Curtain Call ties it up. Finally the captains go at it as this match is just bad. Nothing interesting is happening at all and it’s just plodding through it. Rocky’s debut is the only reason for this match to exist. I just noticed something VERY weird. I downloaded a torrent of this show, but it’s clipped. It’s a tape of a British broadcast of it on Sky.

I found another version online, but the commentary is different. On the British version, there’s a lot of dead air time. On the American version, Sunny is insulting Sable. The rest of her commentary is there, but not all of it. That’s just very odd indeed. I’m assuming that it’s due to something to do with it being in the UK, but I honestly don’t know. That’s interesting if nothing else. Don Muraco is here. That’s just awesome.

Actually it’s not as Muraco is really overrated. This is just dull. It’s nothing but filler stuff here as they I guess have to fill their time quota. We go split screen to look at Sunny. Somehow that’s more interesting than a twenty something minute match. Mero puts out HHH with a moonsault. Oh wait, it’s a Merosault. I wouldn’t want him to speak out against me. Mero botches a flip over the ropes and crashes, leading to a Heart Punch from Crush to make it 2-2.

Less than thirty seconds later, another Heart Punch (which clearly hits Jake in the jaw) puts Roberts out. Well at least the most talented face is left. Sunny makes 2-1 jokes. So let me see: 2 midcard jobbers vs. a rookie hotshot. Hmm I wonder how this is going to end.

The Heart Punch misses and hits Goldust and a cross body beats Crush. A shoulderbreaker ends it as that was the perfect ending. A Coliseum Video Exclusive Interview says he knew he could do it. He’s really weak on the mic here, but it’s his first night so that’s completely excusable.

Rating: D. This was just boring. However, since it’s Rock’s debut, it’s certainly something that people should take a look at maybe once. He looked great out there in his first match in the big leagues and there was no sign of being nervous. The win was perfect because it didn’t make the bigger star, Goldust, look weak because Crush, another big star, did the damage that led to his elimination. As for the other six, it was a waste of 20 minutes.

We hit the recap of Austin vs. Bret and this looks great. The idea is simple: Bret represents tradition and old school, Austin represents the opposite. Austin calls him out repeatedly, and this is the showdown. That’s as basic as it gets. Apparently this is a #1 contender match also.

Austin says he’ll win.

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

The fans are starting to cheer Austin a bit. Bret says that he’s here for respect. JR says that he’d love to see this come down to a submission style match. Either he knew what was coming in 6 months or he’s a wrestling genius. Vince must have told him. Anyway, Bret gets a very good pop. It explodes when he hits the arena. The fireworks go off and you know this is going to be freaking epic to say the least.

The opening staredown looks like something out of a movie as the camera is positioned so that only their faces can be seen. Austin backs up and his face is replaced by his two middle fingers. That’s absolutely perfect. Ross AGAIN talks about how this is going to come down to a submission and says neither have tapped. That’s nonsense as Austin had tapped to a Sharpshooter on a tour in Kuwait that was taped before this match happened, but it’s WWF so it’s ok.

Why can’t this end in a pin? I don’t get that at all. Vince mentions someone putting the Sharpshooter on Bret and him tapping to it. This is either the most predictable company in wrestling history, or Vince made a lot of long term plans. Bret had been saying that Austin was the best wrestler in the world leading up to this match, and they start on the ground. That’s interesting to see from Austin.

He’s considered to be nothing but a brawler, but he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for what he can do on the mat. Vince tries desperately to convince us that Austin’s athleticism is the reason he’s getting cheered.

He just wouldn’t accept that the fans were changing and it nearly buried him. Ross says that Hart has done everything in Madison Square Garden other than beat Austin. Ok wait a minute. So, the only thing he hasn’t done is beat Austin? Has he beaten HHH? Rocky? How about has he staged a Broadway revival of Porgy and Bess? Apparently he has since the only thing he hasn’t done here is beat Austin.

Stone Cold is doing some SWEET mat work here, but Ross refuses to give him credit for it, saying he’s just brawling. You know, I hate Jim Ross. I think I always have. He’s this smug jerk that thinks because he’s been in wrestling forever that he’s owed something. Screw you Jim Ross. Grow up already. All you do is cheer for your friends and the people that kiss up to you backstage and other than that you’re just a pissed off, grumpy old man.

You sit around whining and complaining about how no one respects you and how you’re just doing your job. No you fat tub of goo. Your job is to call wrestling matches, not to be this son of a gun that tries to be the show. I don’t care how many freaking historic moments you’ve called, I don’t care how many times you’ve been named announcer of the year, I don’t care what you’ve had to put up with.

No announcer is more important than any wrestler and you need to get off your soapbox and do your job like an adult should. Until then, stop wasting my time. ANYWAY, now that I’ve ranted against JR a bit, I’ll get back to the match. JR (dang it) says that Bret has been obsessed with Austin for years. Wait, what? Austin had only been in the company like a year and a half at this point.

So wait, Bret was obsessed with a guy that wasn’t even in this company yet and was a rookie when Bret was already a veteran? See why I can’t stand Ross? Half the time he doesn’t even make sense. As Ross continues to complain about how he’s not respected, I’m tempted to mute this thing. According to Vince, Bret isn’t being offensive or defensive. Then what the heck is he being? Swiss?

Tomorrow there’s a toughman contest with Austin and Vader. This would be more commonly known as a hardcore match eventually. Ross keeps going with this stupid submission theory, despite Vince talking about how the Stunner is devastating. Austin’s psychology here is off the charts.

This is Bret’s first match in 7 months, so he’s using a lot of wear down moves to make Bret expend energy. That’s very smart indeed. Austin is doing stuff like fast covers one after another, Irish whips, things like that. They’re doing a very slow pace here, which I think is the way to go. They’re doing the slow build here, which is the right thing to do. It’s an older mentality that needs to make a comeback.

They’re into the crowd a bit as a simple throw breaks the barricade. It’s great to see how impressive the security is here. Now it’s completely down and there’s nothing keeping the fans from running into the ring. Austin fights back and gets a slingshot on Bret who hits the table but doesn’t go through it. Now we’re in a higher gear, but after the build they had it works a lot better. Ross comments on how it always happens to the Spanish guys. Oh how little he knows.

They do two more spots on the table and the freaking thing won’t break. That’s a tough table. The fans are all over this too. Ross says Vince needs to realize that it’s not 91 or 94 in this arena. Jim, I think Bret knows what year it is. So he wouldn’t want to get an upset win after getting beaten on forever? He would rather lose? You just make my head hurt. Austin hates the fans apparently. Geez Ross is talking about the submission thing again.

Where was this talking at Mania? Bret steals an Austin move with a stun gun. Why that little thief. He follows it up with one of the sweetest piledrivers I’ve ever seen. That was great. Bret goes up top for the second time in the match and this time it doesn’t work. We get some WOO chops, which surprises me as I would have thought it was too far north for that. Austin follows with a top rope suplex as these guys are freaking killing each other out there.

He hits the Stunner but pulls Bret away from the ropes which gives Bret the chance to kick out and Austin is PISSED. He puts a Texas Cloverleaf on instead but Bret gets the ropes. Bret almost gets the Sharpshooter but Austin is out.

Austin locks on the Million Dollar Dream, but Bret gets his feet on the turnbuckle (his feet touched the ropes so the hold should have been broken but whatever) and kicks off, rolling over backwards for the pin. The crowd pops madly as Bret celebrates and Austin stares him down from ringside.

This match did a lot for both men. It showed that Bret still had it, while the announcers did a good enough job of pointing out how good Austin was. It also showed that Austin was indeed worthy of fighting in the main event as he had Bret on many occasions with Bret winning on a miracle at the end.

This along with the King of the Ring speech, the I Quit match and the Rock truck match are probably the combined reasons why Austin took the company over the top in a few years. Anyway, this is a classic and go find it. It’s worth the half hour.

We go to Doc in the back with Sid, who says that he’ll win. He’s just bad on the mic.

Lou Albano wanders out to the ring because I guess he got lost. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame last night. He’s going to do Spanish commentary apparently. Well ok then.

Vader’s Team vs. Yokozuna’s Team

Vader: Farrooq, Fake Razor/Fake Diesel

Yoko: Flash Funk, Savio Vega, Mystery Partner

Ross brought these two back into the company. Again, I have no clue what the point of this was. I’m guessing that it was supposed to be a joke or something, but at the moment the only joke was how low the ratings were. Fake Diesel is Kane by the way. Good grief how many characters did he have to play? Cornette is going to do commentary. Thank goodness. The Nation’s entrance with its own live rappers is just great.

Savio and Crush would soon join the team to make it the better version. Yoko weighs about 700lbs here and would be gone soon. Flash Funk’s girls, the Funkettes, were at least hot. I’m guessing this is his debut. Is there a need to have this match? Yeah it’s his debut. Why are we seeing this match? How was this not on the Free For All? He’s wearing yellow and red, which Ross says has never looked better in the Garden.

If you weren’t getting your face kicked in, that would be a great line. The mystery partner is Jimmy Snuka. Seriously? Cornette is PANICKING. So let me get this straight. We have a guy that wears 700lbs, a pimp, an old guy, and a career jobber vs. two fakes and a pair of former WCW Champions. Please, be quick. We start with Flash and Vader as apparently Snuka is a big deal.

He never won anything of worth and he’s old, yet he’s the best worker on his team. Let that sink in for a bit. Scratch that. 2 Cold Scorpio is better, but this is Flash Funk isn’t it? Never mind, Snuka takes it. I might as well not watch the match and just listen to Cornette. He’s miles more entertaining and interesting here.

Yoko comes in to stop Vader and it’s just embarrassing. All he can really do is punch and waddle. Farrooq is in his standard stuff now and looks far more intimidating. They really had something with him but they never pulled the trigger for some reason.

Ross says he could manage Vader better than Cornette. “You couldn’t manage a Wendy’s!” “I could if you were in town Cornette!” Can we just let Ross and Cornette argue all night long? Yoko’s tights might house a small city. Kane wrestling as Diesel is rather intriguing. Oddly enough, Kane uses the Punjabi Plunge on Funk, which is ironic at the moment since Kane has been feuding with Khali.

Funk is taking a beating here as Farrooq hits a SWEET spinebuster. Vader is called a great garbage man by Cornette which makes perfect sense in context. I’d write the line out but that would mean pausing the match and I don’t have enough heroin and cocaine to get me through the extra time. Snuka comes in and chops Kane. Snuka actually slams Vader with relative ease. That’s surprising.

Savio and Diesel are in now and shockingly, Vega botches a move, in this case the spinwheel kick, somehow going too high with it. Yes, he went too high on Kane. Diesel has to drop low early to get hit by it on the way down and it just looks awful. In other words, the kick was supposed to hit him at its highest point in the jaw. Instead Kane started falling before the foot did and the foot hit him on its way down, if that makes sense.

Savio goes out to a decent Jackknife. Not great, but since he rarely used it, not bad. Superfly Splash ends Razor, and then as Jimmy is celebrating, Kane blasts the tar out of him with a chair. In a botched moment, you can see Savio running through the door literally the second the chair connects, chair in hand.

The timing was off there but I get what they were going for. Anyway, everyone comes in and it’s a massive disqualification, so the match is over. Are you serious? At least we get some awesome chair shots in this brawl. Ross says it was a premature DQ. After two chair shots in front of the ref, it’s not enough. And you wonder why I can’t stand him.

Rating: D-. This was an absolute waste of 10 minutes. They couldn’t have done a quick…I don’t know…ANYWHING else but this? Let’s see. Vader wasn’t doing anything here, two guys are part of a big joke, Snuka is retired, one guy is debuting, one guy just got a gimmick change, and one has no story. Maybe this was the best they could do, but wouldn’t something like Funk vs. a jobber have worked better? The only reason this isn’t an F is Cornette.

Standard video package about Shawn vs. Sid. This has barely been touched on at all other than really basic stuff. The video package helped a bit.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid’s pyro is just awesome. Shawn’s is ok but not as good. There’s a kid dressed as Shawn. Oh yay. Shawn’s stripping thing got old fast. It looks like he’s limping a bit. This was a weird time for him, as he was having great matches but they were just random challenges. His title reign was kind of like Kofi’s US Title reign actually. The standard fast Shawn match starts us out as while Shawn is great, he’s a formula guy at times, which is fine, but predictable.

It’s like seeing a great movie that you’ve seen the ending of. It’s still fun, but it’s not as great as the first time. Sid nips up as well as apparently that’s the move of the night. The announcers talk about Jose Lathario for awhile and Vince is clearly uninterested. Shawn starts working on the knees, which is a very smart move as the announcers agree on. Shawn is actually getting booed here, which is surprising. Shawn reminds me of Edge a bit.

He was the undisputed king of the midcard, but he’s not a great world champion. The fans are really hating this actually. Shawn with a figure four now as they compare Sid to Diesel. They get back up and Shawn hits the post. As he’s getting back up, Ross says the post is still standing but Shawn isn’t. Sid kicks him in the ribs which Vince calls a kick in the teeth. Sid is getting big pops. Is New York completely stoned or something?

His offense is chokeslam, punch, kick, powerbomb. What’s the appeal of that? How in the world would he be main eventing Wrestlemania 13? The fans are booing the heck out of Shawn, which the announcers try to pass off as something Shawn shouldn’t care about. Yes, the announcers say a face shouldn’t care about the fans. We follow that up by JR saying it’s great to get the cheers. This needs to end. This is just run of the mill Shawn stuff here and while it’s good, it’s just not great.

Granted that could be blamed on Sid and his complete suckage. Naturally, Shawn makes a big comeback, culminating in him winning a fist fight and slamming Sid, because that’s really impressive don’t you know. The booing is just funny at this point as he’s the total face and no one likes him at all. Now that this match is getting even more boring, Sid puts on a Cobra Clutch because his epically diverse offense has made him so tired.

Sid hits the chokeslam with one hand which surprises JR despite him doing the same thing to Razor last year. Shawn gets a counter to the powerbomb which I legitimately thought was in slow motion. In a spot that made me smile, Shawn nips up and Sid takes his head off with a clothesline. That was great. Sid grabs a camera, which should be the whole match: random camera shots. It would be more interesting than this.

Shawn is up, but the referee feels the need to look at Shawn for a minute and a half so Sid hits Jose with the camera. Shawn gets the kick, but he goes to check on the old man like a stupid face would. The referee goes down and Shawn hits the floor again as we have no help for the old man that’s clutching his chest.

As I type that, JR mentions he might be having a heart attack. Sid blasts Shawn with the camera, leading to the powerbomb and a new champion. As soon as the three hits, the medics get there for Jose. I love that.

Rating: C-. This was a good match, but dang I didn’t want to finish it. It just had no build to it and the title change made no sense. I get that Shawn wasn’t working as champion…but SID? That’s the best idea they can come up with? SID? I will never cease being amazed by the idiocy of some fans.

They cheered for freaking SID. This just had no interest at all and I don’t think many people would argue with me. Shawn would get the title back at the Rumble but then 3 weeks later lose his smile and forfeit it.

Overall Rating: B-. The opener is good enough, Mankind and Taker is certainly fine but it’s one of their weaker matches, the third match was historic but bad, the fourth is an absolute classic, the fifth is laughably bad, and the main event is just ok.

There’s one truly bad match here, as Rocky vs. HHH is enough to raise up the third match. The worst match is the shortest so that’s always good. Overall, this is another show where the good stuff is good and the bad stuff is bad, but it’s worthwhile overall. It’s far from great, but it’s not bad.

A lot of it drags on and on, but when the good stuff is on screen, it’s some of the best there is. It’s worth a quick look if you’re interested, but the Hart vs. Austin match is absolutely required viewing. It did a lot for both men and set up the mega match in 6 months. Overall, the good outweighs the bad here, so it’s somewhat recommended.

 

 

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