Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This is a show that I remember liking at the time but aside from the ending to the Rumble itself, almost nothing springs to mind about the show. I’m curious to see what that means as this was kind of a weaker time for the company. Hopefully they can make this work, as the Rumble can be all over the place. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of people saying they want to win the Royal Rumble and a voiceover asking who is going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Bryan is defending in a cage and Cole cannot stand him. Also Bryan is mad at Show for running over his girlfriend AJ Lee, though it isn’t clear if it was a setup. Bryan gets sent into the corner to start, leaving Show to splash Henry against the cage. For some reason Bryan tries to kick at Show, who throws him against the cage for his efforts. The WMD hits cage, with Bryan dropkicking the leg out to take over.

Bryan kicks away at Henry as well but it’s way too early to escape the cage. Henry: “CLOSE THAT DOOR!” Bryan gets slingshotted into the cage but Show is back up with a superkick. That leaves Show to go after Bryan, with the big slow shots in the corner keeping Bryan down. Henry is back up to go after both of them as commentary discusses Bryan and AJ’s relationship.

Henry misses a charge into the cage and gets speared by Show to give Bryan two. Bryan’s tornado DDT plants Show (which has Lawler far too impressed) and the LeBell Lock goes on. Henry breaks that up but gets caught with the WMD. Bryan tries to escape and gets over, but Show grabs his hand. Show basically does some curls with Bryan, who eventually falls down to retain the title at 9:08.

Rating: C+. This was a nice story with Bryan having to escape from the two monsters who were basically playing with him. Bryan was still trying to get everything together at this point, as he certainly had the skill but he was making his transition into being a main event star. That took some time, mainly due to winning the title via the Money In The Bank briefcase, but that has been an issue with the concept for a long time. The match was entertaining though, even with Bryan almost retaining by accident.

Video on John Cena, who won’t change who he is, even as we hear from some fans who are on either side. We also see a bunch of his promotional work for WWE and my goodness the build to his match vs. Rock was outstanding. It makes me want to watch it again, so they’re doing something right.

Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina

Natalya headlocks Tamina down to start but it’s off to Eve for a dancing moonsault. Phoenix comes in and gets clotheslined down so Brie can come in for a chinlock. This lets commentary compare Twitter followers until Eve gets up for the tag off to Fox. The chinlock goes on again but Eve fights out and hands it off to Kelly. The screaming headscissors ensues and everything breaks down. Kelly gets beaten down on the floor and everyone joins in, allowing Kelly to get up top for a big dive onto the pile. Back in and Brie kicks Kelly in the face, allowing the Glam Slam to finish Kelly at 5:28.

Rating: D+. It’s a bad sign that the best thing you can say about a match is “at least it was short” but that’s about all this one had. The women’s division was not in a good place at this point, with Phoenix being one of the few bright spot. There were talented people in this match, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t get to do anything.

We recap Kane vs. John Cena, which has seen Kane being the unstoppable monster and wrecking Zack Ryder, who has come off like a total loser in the whole thing. Kane has left him in a wheelchair as well as the US Title, likely because Ryder got over on his own.

Ryder, in a wheelchair and a neck brace, arrives with girlfriend Eve Torres joining him. Johnny Ace is here too and mocks both of them a bit, with neither being impressed.

Kane vs. John Cena

Kane fires off the uppercuts to start but Cena is back up with a running clothesline. That’s enough to send them outside, with Cena whipping him knees first into the steps. Kane slugs him right back down inside and sends him into the corner, setting up a chinlock. The comeback is cut off with another uppercut and a bulldog attempt is casually shoved away.

A neck snap across the top rope doesn’t get Cena very far either, as Kane drops him again. The smother hold is countered into an STF, which is countered into a side slam to drop Cena again. The top rope clothesline connects and a big boot gives Kane two, meaning it’s frustration time. Kane’s superplex is broken up and it’s a super Five Knuckle Shuffle but the AA is broken up as well. They fight outside and that’s enough for a rather lame double countout at 10:57.

Rating: C-. This was a bad time for Cena, as he had the biggest match of his career coming up in a few months, but that didn’t leave him with much to do on the way there. That was on full display here, as this feud with Kane went on for a long time and never felt important in any way. Throw in the ending being about setting up a rematch and it was even worse.

Post match they brawl into the back with Kane being sent into various things. Kane comes back with a chair and breaks into Zack Ryder’s private room, knocks Ryder out, and kidnaps him. They go into the arena, where Kane Tombstones him, even with Eve Torres watching. Cue Cena for the save but Kane gives him a chokeslam and leaves everyone laying.

Video on The Rock, who is one of the world’s biggest movie stars. And he’s handsome. And charismatic. And did I mention a star?

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Clay dances to start, gets clotheslined in the corner, suplexes McIntyre and What The Funk finishes at 1:04. Sweet goodness him getting away from WWE was the absolute best thing he could have gone.

We recap CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the former’s Raw World Title. This is more about Punk vs. Johnny Ace, who Punk can’t stand for being such a miserable failure at everything. Ace caused Ziggler to pin Punk to earn the title shot and made himself guest referee. He’s guaranteed that he’s going to screw Punk over, which has officially put him UNDER REVIEW, which has him backpedaling. Oh and Ziggler is here too. The last part of the video features Ziggler saying not to forget him. It’s not a great look but here we are.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler, with Vickie Guerrero, is challenging and Johnny Ace is guest referee. Hold on though as Ace says he’ll be the outside referee with a regular referee in the ring. Actually hold on again as Ace tosses Vickie, which follows a previously established stipulation. The threat of a GTS has Ziggler worried to start so Punk knocks him into the corner. Punk grabs an abdominal stretch and hammers on the ribs before sending him outside.

The dive misses though and Ziggler takes over back inside, including the jumping elbows. The sleeper goes on for a bit before the running Fameasser is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Punk hits a running neckbreaker but Ziggler reverses a high crossbody into a rollup for two. The top rope elbow gets two more but the referee gets bumped, which you knew was coming.

Punk grabs the Anaconda Vice for the tap, though Ace is checking on the referee. A rollup gets the same treatment so Punk goes after Ace, only for Ziggler to knock Punk into Ace. The GTS connects but Ace still won’t count, saying Punk jumped him on purpose. Another GTS is countered into a Fameasser (that was great) for two and they’re both down. Back up and Punk hits a second GTS for the pin, with both referees counting the three at 14:32.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together, though Ace being boring and unfair was quite the negative. The whole feud was built around the idea that Ace wasn’t interesting and they made that quite clear here. It was a good match, which shouldn’t be a surprise, but just drop the Ace stuff already.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars
1 winner
31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble
21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania
695 entrants who have been eliminated
39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)
13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show
421,883 people who have attended the Rumble
62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record
3 wins for Austin
1 second that Santino lasted in 2009
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each
27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four
55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals. Miz is in at #1 and Alex Riley (Miz’s former goon) is in at #2. They stare at each other to start and Riley goes after him but misses a charge. Miz stomps him down to start and gets the pretty easy elimination. R-Truth is in at #3 and hammers away, including a kind of powerslam. That’s enough to throw Miz to the apron but not out as Cody Rhodes is in at #4.

A Beautiful Disaster hits R-Truth and the double teaming is on, with R-Truth getting knocked down into the corner. Justin Gabriel is in at #5 and goes after Rhodes as the four of them pair off. We get a pair of brawls in the corner until Primo is in at #6 to continue a not so star studded start. R-Truth hits the running forearm on Rhodes but gets tossed by Miz, who goes to the floor (under the bottom rope) to go after him. That means a Little Jimmy to drop Miz on the floor while the other three are still inside. Mick Foley is in at #7 and tosses Primo before continuing the brawling.

Ricardo Rodriguez is in at #8, complete with Alberto Del Rio’s music, gear, and…that’s about it, as he drives out in a banged up car (bad paint, ugly seat covers, trash bag for a window) and isn’t in the best condition. Naturally the fans love him, even as Foley drops him with a right hand. Foley and Rodriguez actually get together to eliminate Gabriel and it’s Santino Marella in #9. Marella starts in with his usual and gets rid of Rodriguez. That leaves Marella vs. Foley so yes we do indeed get the Cobra vs. Mr. Socko showdown, with the expected reaction of the crowd going bananas.

Epico is in at #10 and is quickly tossed, leaving us with Miz, Rhodes, Foley and Marella. Rhodes gets up to toss Marella so it’s Socko to Miz, only for Rhodes to toss Foley as well. Kofi Kingston is in at #11, giving us quite the talented three way. Kingston takes over and hits a double Boom Drop but the numbers catch up with him in a hurry. Jerry Lawler is in at #12 (Booker is shocked and Cole is stunned) and ducks Miz’s left hand, which hits Rhodes by mistake. Lawler gets in his usual offense and goes up, only for Rhodes to knock him out.

Ezekiel Jackson is in at #13 as Booker praises Lawler, who has returned to commentary. Jackson gets to clean house and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #14. The entrance takes forever as Mahal has to get out of his gear before going after Jackson. Great Khali is in at #15 and gets rid of Jackson and Mahal without much trouble. Hunico (with Camacho and the gold bicycle) is in at #16 and does about as much as you would expect.

Booker T. is in at #17 and Cole absolutely loses it (You know where this is going, though neither Cole nor Lawler noticed that Booker wasn’t wearing pants?) as the fans go nuts. Miz throws Kingston over the top but Kingston skins the cat to stay alive. Kingston gets shoved out anyway….but LANDS ON HIS HANDS AND WALKS BACKWARDS TO THE STEPS in one of the most ridiculously awesome saved you’ll ever see. Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) is in at #18 as things start to slow down a bit.

Jim Duggan is in at #19 and the fans are rather happy to see him. As you might expect, Duggan certainly brings the energy as he throws those big right hands, only to get knocked out by Rhodes. Ziggler and Rhodes get rid of Booker and Khali at the same time and it’s Michael Cole in at #20 (you knew it was coming and the fan behind him freaking out makes it even better). His entrance takes forever and it’s the returning Kharma (Awesome Kong) in at #21 to immediately drop Cole (Booker and Lawler love it).

That’s enough to send Cole out to the apron, where Booker and Lawler pull him out for good. Kharma goes after Ziggler with a lifting Pedigree but has to stop for some yelling at Vickie. Hunico goes after Kharma but gets tossed, only for Ziggler to dump Kharma out. Sheamus is in at #22 as we have Sheamus, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Ziggler. Sheamus dumps Kingston and fires off the forearms to Miz and Rhodes.

Road Dogg is in at #23 and the fans go nuts all over again (even Cole is happy). Dogg gets in his usual dancing punches until things slow down and it’s Jey Uso in at #24. That means some dancing punches of his own until US Champion Jack Swagger is in at #25. The brawling continues on the ropes and it’s Wade Barrett in at #26. Barrett dumps Dogg to clear the ring a bit and it’s David Otunga in at #27 to clutter it right back up.

Randy Orton (hometown star) is in at #28 and goes right after Barrett, who put him on the shelf for a month. Uso is out and Rhodes and Ziggler get taken down with a double hanging DDT, followed by an RKO to Barrett for the elimination. Chris Jericho is in at #29 and tosses Otunga before things slow down a bit. Big Show is in at #30, giving us a final group of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Swagger, Orton, Jericho and Show (not too shabby). Swagger is out before Show even gets in and gets WMD’d to make it even worse.

Show gets inside and tosses Miz, Rhodes and Ziggler in short order to get us down to four in a hurry. Jericho gets knocked down and it’s an RKO to Show, which doesn’t seem overly bright. Show gets up and Orton tosses him on his own, only to get dumped by Jericho to leave us with Jericho vs. Sheamus (quite the odd pairing). Jericho’s bulldog is countered but he’s right back with a dropkick.

Sheamus is sent out to the apron but hooks his leg around the ropes to survive. He’s able to get back inside, where Jericho catches him in a quick Walls. That’s broken up as well and Jericho gets sent to the apron, where he manages to get back inside as well. They both almost wind up crashing to the floor before getting inside just in time. A Codebreaker drops Sheamus, who is right back with a missed Brogue Kick. Jericho can’t hit the Codebreaker though and gets sent to the apron, where a Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the win at 55:25.

Rating: B. The ending alone here was rather good, with the drama of Jericho and Sheamus being worth a look. At the same time, this Rumble was heavy on the comedy, with the commentary entrances, plus Socko vs. the Cobra. It did have some good moments in between though and I had a good time watching this one back. I remembered liking it well enough back in the day and it was nice to see it live up to the hype.

Pyro and sign pointing take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. The Raw World Title and Rumble are the only things worth seeing here, unless you want to see Bryan in way over his head against some monsters. The problem here is the same as it always was around this time: with John Cena vs. the Rock looming at Wrestlemania, nothing else felt important. They do get some credit for trying something new with Sheamus though, as even though he was a former World Champion, winning the Rumble was a different level. Good enough show, but the Rumble carried the thing.

 

 

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Blackjack Brawl
Date: September 23, 1994
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 900
Commentators: John Tolos, Carlo Gianelli

So a few months ago I looked at the UWF’s Beach Brawl, which was a special event from one of the more infamously lame promotions: Herb Abrams’ Universal Wrestling Federation. Now it’s time to look at the followup, which is over three years later and not on pay per view. It’s an eleven match card and nine are title matches, with five of those being to crown inaugural champions. This is going to be a really, really long night. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, with the rather over the top introduction from Abrams and some clips from a press conference.

Abrams is in the ring to shout an introduction, with commentary talking over him. He brings Blackjack Mulligan to the ring to hype up the show and promises a lot of big stuff tonight.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

We have a celebrity guest ring announcer with Steve Rossi (apparently he was on the Howard Stern Show at least once). After some audio issues, he introduces the Nevada Athletic Commission and brings out Dan Spivey. Rossi: “He’ll show you some wrestling tonight.”

Americas Championship: Dan Spivey vs. Johnny Ace

For the inaugural title (which is not mentioned until a few minutes into the match) and Ace has Missy Hyatt with him. Rossi has to beg the fans to cheer during the introductions and I think you know how this night is going to go. It doesn’t help that the arena (holds about 17,000) is embarrassingly empty. Commentary: “Who cares about these wrestlers when you have Missy Hyatt?”

Ace rolls him up for two and Spivey bails to the apron. Back n and Spivey hammers away, only for Ace to come back with a middle rope crossbody. A dropkick puts Spivey on the floor where he kicks a few things around. Back in and Ace stomps away (Tolos: “That would kill a normal man!”) before grabbing a chinlock. Spivey suplexes his way to freedom as I try to figure out who I’m supposed to cheer for here. A backbreaker gives Spivey two and a Russian legsweep gets the same.

Ace is back up with a top rope clothesline for two but Spivey grabs a DDT for three. Well I mean the referee slapped the mat three times but calls it two anyway, as I guess counting doesn’t work around here either. We look at Missy Hyatt for a second and come back with Spivey hitting what looked like a Boss Man Slam. The abdominal stretch goes on before Spivey slams him back down for two off a legdrop. Spivey grabs it again and Hyatt turns on Ace by throwing in the towel to give Spivey the win and the title at 7:18.

Rating: D. Just think for a second: of the eleven match card that they have planned, THIS is what they felt was the best way to get things going. I’ve said this already but it bears repeating: we are in for a really, really long night. Vince Russo unnecessary screwy finish aside, the match was rather lame as they were just doing moves to each other with no story, build, flow or anything. But at least the manager turned on Ace during their first time together so….development?

Post match Spivey grabs Abrams until Ace chases him off. Abrams yells at Spivey (Abrams: “You’re a double cheating cross!”), who leaves with Hyatt.

We go to a break, with commentary being heard talking to production, just in case you thought this could be competent for more than three seconds.

Post break, commentary cuts out, then Ginaelli slips up by saying Ace won the match.

We talk about the Junior Heavyweight title, featuring Mando “Gareo”. They’ll be right “black” after this break.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Mando Guerrero vs. Jack Armstrong

For the inaugural title and at least Rossi gets Guerrero’s (who comes out to an actual WEIRD AL song) name right. Jack (called Wildman in the graphic and Wildcat during his introductions) looks great and has been wrestling for….THIRTY ONE YEARS??? Granted this is his first match in about four years but when you debut in 1963 and are still wrestling in 1994, I’m a good bit impressed. Odds are that’s going to be the only impressive thing here but still not bad. Gianelli still can’t pronounce Guerrero as he sits on the corner while Armstrong poses.

They run the ropes to start and Mando dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Mando grabs an armdrag into an armbar but they’re right back to the floor to get the brawling going. Mando knocks him into the barricade and hits an Asai moonsault, sending Tolos into as close to shock as you’re getting around here. Back in and Mando gets two off a spinebuster as we’re told that this is the first of three Blackjack Brawls planned. Uh, yeah. Anyway Mando misses a moonsault and Jack drops two elbows for the pin and the title at 4:41.

Rating: D+. Well it was better than the previous one, but again it is very clear that they are not putting even the slightest bit of thought into all of these title matches. There was no mention of the title here and Mando dominated until the end when Armstrong picked up the fluke win. Armstrong had a good physique but this was the last match of his career.

Post match, Abrams gets in the ring to say he isn’t pleased with the winner, but at least Armstrong got busted open a bit.

Dr. Feelgood says he’ll win.

SportsChannel Television Title: Dr. Feelgood vs. Sunny Beach

For the vacant title and Missy Hyatt is here with Feelgood. There’s even a theme here as Feelgood has a doctor’s bag and Missy has a stethoscope. Beach takes him down by the arm to start and then armdrags him into an armbar to mix it up a bit. They switch it to a chinlock for a bit before Feelgood is back with some back rakes. Missy gets in a shoe shot to the head, sending Tolos into a speech about how gorgeous she is.

Beach comes back with some right hands and a sunset flip for two, only to get clotheslined down. A backbreaker gives Feelgood two and he plants Beach with a DDT (which commentary describes as “another great professional wrestling move”). Hold on though as Feelgood goes to his medical bag and pulls out a rag. He pours some liquid onto the rag, only to have Beach shove it into his face for the win at 5:27. The referee watched EVERY BIT OF THIS and doesn’t seem to mind. Can you really blame him?

Rating: F. Sweet goodness it’s actually getting worse. What are you supposed to do when the referee just lets the doctor use I’m guessing ether on the surfer? The match is a failure for the refereeing alone and I’m almost scared to see how bad this show gets as we keep going. Terrible match with an even worse ending.

Post match Feelgood takes Beach down with the rag as Missy screams a lot. Blackjack Mulligan comes in to yell, with Feelgood calling him various cowboy insults.

BUY MERCH! That has to be some kind of a collector’s item. Sid walks in and says something about Nolan Ryan signed baseballs.

Herb Abrams talks about Commissioner Bruno Sammartino….who isn’t here tonight! Abrams has Blackjack Mulligan talk about what else is coming tonight. Mulligan: “These other promotions won’t even touch these guys!” Steve Williams would destroy Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Bret Hart!

Southern States Title: Bob Orton Jr. vs. Finland Hellraiser Thor

Believe it or not, Orton actually is the champion coming in and Thor is better known as Ludvig Borga. Orton grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away by raw power. More power sends Orton into the corner and this time Thor hammers away with shots to the ribs. There’s a side slam to plant Orton again and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Commentary uses the time to discuss who really discovered America as Orton comes back with some shots to the face. Thor backdrops him over the top to counter a piledriver attempt and they fight on the floor for the double DQ at 5:29.

Rating: D. And somehow, that’s in the running for the best match of the night, just due to the people involved if nothing else. Thor is fresh off his time with the WWF and it isn’t a good sign when he is looking like a knockoff version of himself. Orton was pretty far past his prime already but his own talent is enough to carry him pretty far. Not far enough to save this show, but at least they picked things up a tiny bit over the previous match.

They brawl even more post match, showing more fire than anything else on the show. Thor bails and Orton’s eye is busted open, so the ring announcer asks the fans to cheer for him about five times. Orton goes on a rant about how he fights like an American, with all of the values that are falling apart every day.

Midget World Title: Karate Kid vs. Little Tokyo

For the inaugural title and this is FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. The ring announcer is practically begging the fans to cheer for this as things are falling apart before the bell. Tokyo bails from the threat of Kid’s kicks and shoulders him down. A hiptoss drops Tokyo, who glares out of the corner. The armbar doesn’t last long on Kid as the referee yells at Tokyo again. The crisscross is on, with Kid stopping so Tokyo runs around on his own. After the annoyance is over, Tokyo’s armbar doesn’t work all over again. They fight over a test of strength on the mat, allowing Tokyo to yell at the referee some more.

It’s time to dance a bit until Kid gets a quick one. Hold on though as Tokyo yells at the referee AGAIN, followed by a poke to Kid’s eyes. Kid is fine enough to slap on a full nelson, with Tokyo climbing the ropes for the break, only to be dropped straight down for a slight chuckle. Tokyo avoids a dropkick though and Kid….runs into him, allowing Tokyo to get the pin and the title at 7:36.

Rating: D. Yes they gave this the most time of anything so far tonight and while it could have been worse, this was almost the cherry on the sundae of horrible ideas. This felt like it belonged in 1984 or so, and given how many things that could apply to on this show, it seems that things are kind of going badly around here. In other words, this is reaching torture levels all over again.

Post match Abrams and Tokyo have a language barrier. How many times do we need to see him and his yellow coat tonight???

Here’s the same merchandise ad from before the previous match.

Sid says….something that audio doesn’t pick up for the most part but it sounds like he’s coming for Steve Williams and the World Title.

Samson vs. Irish Assassin

They’re both in good shape and Samson is replacing Hercules. This is billed as a REVENGE match, though they don’t actually explain what the revenge is for. They have the lamest lockup I can remember in a long time and Samson’s running shoulder bounces off of the Assassin. A running clothesline in the corner hits Samson as commentary recaps Little Tokyo winning the title. Samson avoids an elbow as Tolos talks about making Gianelli a better commentator. A slam and a suplex give Samson the pin at 4:45.

Rating: F. Sweet goodness man. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show this….lifeless. When you consider that I can’t find anything about Samson and Assassin was a nothing name, I’m not sure why in the world I’m supposed to care about revenge, when THEY DIDN’T SAY WHY THESE TWO ARE FIGHTING. The company isn’t running anything else at the moment, so how many places could they set up something like this? I’m being more and more dumbfounded by this show every match and it wasn’t a high bar to start things off.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Steve Ray thinks Tyler Mane is tall but he doesn’t have any heart.

MGM Grand Title: Steve Ray vs. Tyler Mane

For the inaugural title. Mane dabbled in WCW for a bit but is far more famous as Sabretooth in the first series of X-Men movies. Granted the pelt with a lion’s head over his stomach is rather noteworthy in its own right. Ray is the Wild Thing and seems to be something like a rock star/Lionheart Chris Jericho type. After Ray makes sure his jacket is taken care of, we’re ready to go with commentary comparing Mane to Big John Studd. An armdrag and clothesline put Mane on the floor but he’s back in to slam his way out of a crossbody attempt.

Ray is fine enough to start in on the leg and the cranking ensues. We pause for a second so the referee can check on the knee, allowing Mane to get in a cheap shot and take over. A chokeslam (not named because….it’s such a complicated concept I guess) plants Ray but he’s back back with a grab of the leg. Mane low bridges him to the floor so Ray tries a sunset flip, only to have Mane sit down on it while grabbing the rope (again, right in front of the referee) for the pin and the title at 6:26.

Rating: D. Again, it says a lot when this is the kind of match that is near the high point of the show. It was a big man vs. small man match with Ray trying to have some energy but not being able to deal with the power. Now that being said, the horrible refereeing at the end hurt it a lot, and it’s not like this show has any benefit of the doubt. Another bad match on the show, which is completely beyond saving in case that wasn’t clear yet.

Post match Abrams presents Mane with the title. Mane, who is taller than Mulligan, says the fat lady just sung on Ray. True actually, as this was his last match for both guys.

Women’s Title: Candy Divine vs. Tina Moretti

For the vacant title and Moretti is better known as Ivory. The pre-match gaffe is on the announcer, as he introduces Divine (yes DIVINE, which is not the hardest word to read, pronounce, spell or understand) as Candy Devian. That’s another level of bad and as a result it fits in perfectly here. Even commentary blasts him for that screwup. Divine popped up in various promotions and was one of the bigger names of her time for outside the WWF. Moretti is billed from Italy, which is rather odd after listening to Ivory for years.

Commentary is all about how the women look as Divine is dropkicked to the floor to start but they switch places in a hurry. Back in and Divine works on an armbar but gets rolled up for a fast two. Divine fights up and chokes in the corner, which Tolos calls a good wrestling move. Moretti gets slammed out of the corner and Divine gets the pin and the title at 3:11.

Rating: D-. I’m not sure what happened there but it was an abrupt ending to an already bad match. Women’s wrestling was absolutely nothing in America at this point so you can’t get too annoyed. Also given how bad some of the things on this show have been, a three minute match is hard to get annoyed over. Take that for what you will.

Post match, the announcer says Devian for the fifth time.

Steve Williams is standing in front of a cutout of himself and says he respects Sid Vicious. He can’t get Hulk Hogan or Ric Flair on the phone but he’ll face Sid tonight. Really not the image you want to present but that’s the least of their problems.

Tag Team Titles: Killer Bees vs. The New Powers Of Pain

For the inaugural titles and that would be Warlord/Power Warrior, the latter being a guy who didn’t do much in his career. Announcer: “And we have a battle royal coming up.” No, we don’t, thank goodness. Blair (who apparently has a great gym) starts with Warrior, who shoves him away without much effort. An armbar has no effect on Warrior and Blair is starting to look a little unsure.

We get a quick recap of some of the things that have happened tonight, which makes me feel better about forgetting them. Brunzell comes in for a double hiptoss but Warlord comes in with a bearhug. That doesn’t last long so Warlord has to slam his way out of an armbar. Warrior comes back in and gets taken down by the leg in a hurry because he isn’t the worker that the Warlord is. Blair stays on the leg but Warrior kicks him into the ropes so Warlord can low bridge him to the floor.

The bearhug goes on back inside but Blair is out in a hurry, allowing the hot tag to Brunzell to take over on Warrior. A catapult into a top rope clothesline drops Warrior as the referee is knocked outside. Cue someone who looks like Warrior (his other brother in the Power Twins) for a full nelson on Blair. Warlord goes up….and we cut to Brunzell throwing the referee back in and we come back to Blair covering Warrior for the pin and the titles at 11:50.

Rating: D. They were having a better match than usual (for this show at least) until the ending, which we didn’t actually get to see. Let me repeat that: you couldn’t actually see the part of the match that actually mattered in any way. Throw in that one of the villains had an evil twin and they managed to lose anyway and I think you know all you need to know about this one.

Jimmy Snuka says there are no two pieces of matter that can occupy the same space at the same time. I’m not sure what that has to do with anything but he says he’s going to fly.

Merch plug, the threequel.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Cactus Jack

Lumberjack match, so the ring announcer says “our next match is for the lumberjack match.” Oh and Cactus Jack is “a mean guy”. Announcer: “You’re going to see a battle royal.” Can we get him to stop saying that or at least find out what it means? Pretty much everyone else on the show so far are the lumberjacks, who get a round of applause of their own and their own individual introductions. Jack shakes his hand and grabs a headlock as we hear about Jack losing his ear.

Snuka reverses into one of his own, which really, really impresses Tolos for some reason. A shoulder puts Jack down as the announcers are talking about bets on the match. Jack knees him in the ribs to send things outside for a bit but makes the mistake of headbutting Snuka. That’s enough to send Jack to the floor but he’s sent back inside as Herb Abrams comes to commentary to talk about how great this is.

The brawl goes over to the commentary table (Gianelli: “THIS SHOULDN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA!”) but the fight back inside where Jack grabs a chinlock. Back up and Snuka tries a shoulder, only to bounce off of Jack and over the top. They fight into the crowd with Snuka hitting him in the head with a chair….and that’s a double DQ at 9:03. Yes in a lumberjack. Announcer: “I’ve never seen anything like this!” There’s a reason for that man.

Rating: F. Mick Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time and probably always will be. I know it means the world to him to be in the ring with his idol in Snuka, but they had a double DQ in a freaking lumberjack match after nine other matches on this show. In this case, you kind of can blame him because, as a huge Snuka fan, he refused to let Snuka lose to him here so this was the best they had. Points for the respect but….dang man.

Post match they keep brawling into the empty chairs, which is about as dumb of an idea as you can have in any situation.

Herb Abrams shouts that this is the main event, thank goodness.

UWF World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Steve Williams

Williams is defending. Announcer: “It’s time to get rocking and rolling. And I’m getting out of here.” They trade shoulders to start as we hear about Williams being the All Japan Triple Crown Champion. Sid kicks him in the face for a knockdown and it’s time to crank on Williams’ arms. Williams can’t quite reverse so he goes to the ropes for the break instead. Tolos does his best Jim Ross impression to list off all of Williams’ accomplishments as the announcers treat this like the greatest thing they have ever seen.

A chokeslam plants Williams and Sid whips him hard into the corner. Tolos: “If they went into the New York Stock Market, do you think their stock would go up overnight???” Gianelli: “I don’t know.” Sid gets two off a slam and we’re off to the chinlock. They even lay down a bit as this has already been a bit much for them.

Williams fights up and slugs away….as the mat starts coming up like there’s a bubble inside, because OF FREAKING COURSE IT DOES! Williams hits a splash in the corner for two but misses a middle rope shoulder. Sid goes up top (oh boy) but Williams backdrops him down and hits the Doctor Bomb, drawing in Dan Spivey for the DQ at 11:02.

Rating: D-. They were having a watchable power match until the ending but my goodness man. THE RING wanted out of this show and was giving up by the end. It could have been a lot worse but the ending didn’t help anything and teasing a rematch on this show was as dumb as it could have been. Not the worst match on the show, but a perfect way to end things.

Post match the beatdown is on with Williams being double powerbombed. Johnny Ace comes in for the save.

Post break, Abrams asks if Williams will defend the title against Sid in a cage. Williams says he’ll sign a contract if Abrams gets one together before he leaves.

Merch plug, featuring the now dastardly Sid.

Abrams yells at Sid and Spivey, with the former blaming Blackjack Mulligan for being his mentor.

Commentary says next time will be even more treacherous.

Since this show just can’t end, Abrams and Mulligan (who has the World Title for some reason) talks about how this was a Skyscrapers (Sid/Spivey) plan all along. Abrams promises (or maybe warns) us about a sequel to end the show.

Overall Rating: Awbooga. That’s how Abrams, legendary cocaine addict that he was, would probably try to spell wrestling at this point, because WOW. This is one of the all time insane shows that you almost have to see to believe. There is nothing approaching good, nothing approaching normal, and nothing approaching ANYTHING that should be taking place in 1994 on this show.

I know Abrams was kind of a kook (that’s putting it mildly) but sweet goodness this was awful, with one random title match after another and nothing even partially good. The people here are talented wrestlers, or at least they were a few years earlier when they were still regularly wrestling and not ancient in some cases. It’s not the complete train wreck of something like Heroes of Wrestling, but with a barely there (and barely audible) crowd, the disaster on commentary and ring announcing and such low level wrestling, this is a complete mess and something just more depressing than anything else.

The biggest problem here is the wrestling, as they seem to think that any of this stuff matters just because you throw a title or the REVENGE MATCH moniker onto a match. It doesn’t help if there are no stakes to the title or reasons for these people to be fighting and it showed badly. All time awful show, and now I’m off to have nightmares of Abrams screaming in my face while Mulligan is there every time for no apparent reason other than he’s been paid in advance. Avoid this one unless you’re in for a train wreck of Star Fox 64 Forever Train level proportions.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We wrap things up with this and a main event which no one ever thought we would see: John Cena vs. The Rock. This is one of if not the only match ever that I had to see. I didn’t know if it would be good or bad, but I needed to see it. The match was announced the night after the last Wrestlemania and was literally built for a year. On the undercard we have Punk vs. Jericho for the world title, Sheamus vs. Bryan for the other title and HHH vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. When that is a DISTANT second match, you know you’ve got something huge. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is about how Cena and Rock’s lives have both built up to this moment and how this match is Once In A Lifetime. Oh and HHH vs. Undertaker is happening too.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus won the Rumble to earn this show. We’re pre-beard for Bryan here which is weird to see anymore. The bell rings, Bryan kisses his girlfriend AJ, turns around into a Brogue Kick and we have a new champion in 18 seconds. That number would haunt Bryan for at least six months.

Team Johnny is fired up for the twelve man tag for later tonight. Miz brags about being in the main event last year but it’s Otunga who gets them to be quiet for a pep talk from Johnny Ace.

Win tickets to Wrestlemania 29!

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Santino is with Mick Foley in a sailor hat and a guy from the fishing show Deadliest Catch. They’re eating crabs and Foley makes bad pirate jokes. Socko and Cobra make appearances, as does Ron Simmons and I think you can get the joke from here.

Some National Guard people are here.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Cody is defending and the idea here is that Big Show has never had a good Wrestlemania moment. You know, because winning a meaningless midcard title in 2012 is more important than main eventing the show in possibly the biggest and best year the company has ever had. During the entrance we get some “highlights” from Show’s career. Naturally the pin in the 8 man tag last year is never mentioned at all.

Cody runs to the floor to start but Show easily throws him back into the ring. There’s a beal across the ring and a hard chop in the corner, followed by a Stink Face for good measure. Cody comes back with some dropkicks to the knee and pounds away as much as he can. Rhodes pounds on Show’s back a bit and is LAUNCHED off on the kickout. The champion works on the knee a bit with a standing leg lock and a DDT to take it down. After some stomps to Show’s head, he shoves Cody away with ease but gets caught by the Disaster Kick. A second is countered with a spear though and the WMD makes Show the champion.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Cody has nothing that was going to keep Show down and with all the building up of the match about Show’s past embarrassments, there was only one way this could end. That and it’s only about five minutes so it didn’t have enough time to suck or anything. Not great but it was exactly what it was expect to be.

Video on what it means to be a Diva.

We recap the Divas tag. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Extra with Maria Menunos when Eve and Beth came in and claimed they should be the guests. A tag match was made.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly

Beth has….wings on her head? Kelly and the freshly heel Eve start things off with Kelly doing her screaming hurricanrana to take over. A handspring elbow hits Eve’s knee in the corner but Kelly breaks up a moonsault and knocks Eve into the Tree of Woe. Off to Maria for a double Stink Face, resulting in the famous stain on the back of Maria’s tights from Eve’s makeup.

Since Maria isn’t a wrestler, the beatdown on her begins quickly with Eve wrapping her up in a body vice. Off to Beth (in gold tonight) for a side bearhug as the match slows WAY down. Back to Eve for some quick double teaming but she takes too long with the shaky moonsault. It’s back to Kelly as things break down a bit. A top rope seated senton gets two on Beth and the Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog. Back to Maria who goes….up. After getting pulled down, Kelly breaks up a gorilla press and a rollup is enough for Maria to pin Beth.

Rating: D+. Four good looking women in tight outfits and one of them anchors a national television show. Do you really need a further explanation as to why this happened? The interesting note: of these four, Maria is the only one involved with Wrestlemania 29 and that’s as a Hall of Fame inductor.

Shawn Michaels, the guest referee inside the Cell, says either the Undertaker or HHH are done tonight.

New attendance record. As always.

Jim Ross comes out to do commentary for the Cell match.

HHH vs. Undertaker

This is inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as guest referee. Undertaker basically became Batman in his cave and wanted a rematch to prove he could beat HHH. As in like he already did. This is also billed as End of an Era, but what era that was never actually became clear. The announcement of the Cell was perfect as HHH said he wanted one more thing, which was presumed to be Streak vs. career. It’s a good lesson in letting the feud set the stipulations, not the calendar. Undertaker debuts his new mohawk here to a gasp from the crowd. The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica.

Taker pounds away into the corner to start with “carcinogenic” right hands according to JR. HHH pounds away as well but gets thrown out to the floor soon thereafter. HHH is sent into the Cell a few times and a backdrop puts him down on the floor again. Taker sends him into the steel over and over as it’s one sided so far. Now it’s the steps instead of the Cell with Taker in full control. Back in and a facebuster is no sold and down goes HHH again.

Old School connects and we head back outside again. Shawn isn’t a factor yet. The steps go upside HHH’s head and set up the apron legdrop. Back in and HHH hits a DDT, which somehow makes us completely even. The steps are in the ring now so HHH slams Taker’s head into them a few times. A Pedigree onto the steps is blocked with a backdrop but HHH comes back with a spinebuster onto the steps, only to get caught in the Hell’s Gate. In an impressive power display, HHH lifts Taker up into a powerbomb to break the hold and get two as well.

HHH throws in a pair of chairs and cracks one of them over Taker’s back. Taker is whipped into the steps in the corner before they’re sent to the outside. JR says there are no laws in the Cell. Other than you win by pin or submission and all that. HHH goes off with the chair, DESTROYING Undertaker Austin/Rock style. Shawn takes the chair away and tells HHH to cover Undertaker because he’s not going to quit. Trips takes the chair back and shoves Shawn down before pounding on Taker even more. He tells Shawn to end it before he does.

Taker says do not stop it as he’s getting back up. He turns around though and is hit in the ribs and back by the chair but it only gets two. HHH is starting to get frustrated so he hits Taker in the back with another chair and it’s time for more pathos with Taker saying don’t stop it. Cue the sledgehammer for a shot to the head for ANOTHER two. HHH (who is cut over the eye) has no idea what to do now.

The Game pulls up the hammer to slam it down onto Taker’s head but Shawn pulls it away to prevent the murder. Shawn is ready to stop it as Taker can barely move. Michaels raises his hand but Taker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate to stop him. Trips breaks it up with a hammer shot but Taker comes back with a low blow and Hell’s Gate on HHH. There’s no referee though and Taker lets it go from exhaustion with his opponent out cold.

Another referee comes in as Taker hits a last effort chokeslam for two. Taker chokeslams the referee (I believe that’s the same referee he beat up in 2001 against HHH as well) but walks into the superkick into the Pedigree…..FOR TWO! I lost my mind watching that live because I really thought it was over. Now HHH shoves Shawn to the floor and Taker sits up to scare the life out of HHH. Taker erupts on HHH with a big boot and running clothesline, setting up snake eyes and another boot.

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

Some more chair shots get two on HHH so Shawn screams at them to end this. HHH tries a hammer shot to the face but Taker easily blocks it. They stare each other down and HHH gives Taker a crotch chop. Trips walks out of the corner into a hammer shot to the head. HHH tries to climb up Taker’s body but the strap comes down, the throat is slit, and the Tombstone makes it 20-0.

Rating: A+. This is another reason why I’m not so wild on last year’s match: they’re capable of SO much better and this is proof. This match told a great story with both guys destroying each other with Shawn being stuck in the middle and trying to figure out what do do in each situation. It’s a great match, it’s a great fight, and it’s pure emotion the entire time. Great stuff here, and most importantly of all: there were moments where I thought it was over. I never bought that as a possibility last year.

After a few moments on the mat, Taker sits up but falls right back down. He pulls himself up on Shawn and they embrace. HHH is still out cold. Shawn and Taker lift him up and carry him out of the ring. They embrace on the stage in one of the most iconic images you’ll ever see. You don’t often get to use that word, but it’s true in this case.

Send Slim Jims to soldiers! I love charity stuff, but it’s a big shift after what we just sat through.

We get clips of the Hall of Fame stuff from last night.

Here’s the live presentation of the 2012 class: Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna (represented by his kids), Ron Simmons, the Horsemen (including Flair, which set off a lawsuit since he was still under contract to TNA), Mike Tyson and Edge (who gets theme music but has short hair which is such an odd look for him). This was the breather that the fans needed.

Heath Slater tries to get a spot in Flo-Rida’s performance but gets turned and then shoved down. Hawkins and Reks laugh at Slater.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga

Teddy: Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, R-Truth, Zack Ryder (with Eve), Booker T, Santino Marella

Each team has a Bella as a fan, the match is for total control of both brands, and Johnny is in a white suit. Oh and Vickie is with Johnny and Horny is with Teddy as the flag bearers. Otunga and Santino are team captains, because Miz and Booker aren’t good enough. Kofi and Dolph start things off for their usual solid sequence. Truth comes in for a double hiptoss and a dancing legdrop.

McIntyre comes in to pound on Truth but it’s quickly off to Khali to change momentum. It should also be mentioned that they’re in red and blue t-shirts with the GM’s on the front. Off to Booker to chop away on Drew and a superkick puts him down. Booker goes after the rest of Team Johnny but the numbers catch up with him, allowing Swagger to take over. Jack gets to beat on Kofi for a bit and it’s off to Henry. Mark pounds him down in the corner as the match slows way down.

Off to Miz with some knees to the chest and a boot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Booker comes back with a suplex for no cover. Ziggler comes in to break up the tag and drop some elbows for two. Everything starts breaking down as Henry hits the Slam on Booker but Khali chops him down. I can’t keep track of everything going on but Henry catches a diving Horny in mid-air.

The girls get in a brawl and there’s the hot tag to Santino to pound on Miz. The Cobra connects and Cole panics until Ziggler makes the save. Another hot tag brings in Ryder for the Rough Ryder for Dolph and a beatdown on everyone else. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve gets in the ring as well. The referee tries to get her out and the distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryder for the pin, making Ace GM of both shows.

Rating: D+. As is the usual case with stuff like this, there was way too much going on to keep track of anything. There were something like 18 people involved in this whole thing and the ending was about Eve and her heel turn more than anything else. Ace would be GM for about four months or so while boring us to death against Cena. Not much to see here though due to the amount of people in the match.

Post match, Eve finally turns on Ryder for good, confirming him as the biggest loser in the WWE. Wasn’t Eve already a heel in the Divas tag? Why is this supposed to be shocking?

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

We get a video on the media blitz and activities for Wrestlemania week.

To celebrate winning, Laurinitis changes the Raw World Title match rules so that if Punk gets disqualified, Jericho wins the title.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

Another few slaps have Punk in a frenzy but he holds off to avoid the DQ. A slam puts Jericho down but he rolls away before the Macho Elbow can be launched. Instead CM dives to the floor to take out Jericho, followed by a wicked smile. Jericho asks how Punk’s sister and father are but Punk doesn’t swing the chair he grabs. Punk charges into a pair of boots to the face and the challenger takes over.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Punk escapes a bow and arrow hold and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho crotch first into the corner. A spinning neckbreaker gets two on Chris and there’s the running knee in the corner. Jericho counters the bulldog but has to stop the Lionsault to avoid knees. That counter is countered into a Walls attempt but Punk shakes him off for two. The Macho Elbow hits knees and Jericho hits the Codebreaker but it sends Punk out to the floor. Back in and Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two.

Punk fires off the kicks and gets two off a quick powerslam. They trade German suplex grips but Punk gets dropped on the top rope to give Jericho control. The Lionsault gets two and Chris goes up, only to be chopped a lot to slow him down. The champion loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls in one of Jericho’s classic counters. Punk finally makes the ropes and sends Jericho to the floor to set up the suicide dive.

Jericho staggers to his feet and Punk hits the running knee, crushing Jericho’s head against the post. They head back in and somehow Jericho grabs the Codebreaker out of nowhere for two. Back up and Jericho pounds away on Punk in the corner, only to go up again and get kicked down. The GTS is countered into the Liontamer (the kneeling version of the Walls) in the middle of the ring but shifts it to the regular Walls.

Jericho has to pull him away from the ropes and Punk escapes into dueling small packages. CM rolls through again into the Anaconda Vice but Jericho knees Punk in the back of the head to escape. The Walls don’t work again and Punk hooks another Vice, this time tucking his head in to avoid the knees. Jericho is trapped and finally gives up.

Rating: A. Great match here with both guys destroying each other and countering everything both guys had. I love the ending with Punk getting smarter as he kept going in a good display of psychology. Thankfully the DQ bit didn’t go anywhere which makes it pretty stupid. Excellent match here though which would have been a great main event for any other show of the year.

Wrestlemania 29 is coming to New Jersey, but we’ll bill it as New York because it sounds better.

Here’s Brodus, who had recently debuted as the Funkasaurus. He tells everyone to get their phone, because they’re gonna call their mamas. Brodus calls his own and apparently she’s here tonight……WITH THE BRIDGE CLUB! Cue a troop of old women for a BIG dance party.

Video on G.I. Joe 2 which was just released like two weeks ago. As in nearly a year after this show.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

Cena sits on the ramp, stunned.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best shows of all time, bar none. The two big matches delivered far better than you could have hoped for, the Raw title match was great, nothing sucked, there are multiple Wrestlemania Moments on here, and the crowd was white hot all night. This is easily in the highest levels of Wrestlemanias ever and it’s every bit as good as it was when I watched it live. Great stuff and absolutely worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original:

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

Redo: A

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

I shortchanged that main event terribly. It’s a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

Well that’s that I guess. As is the case with every PPV series, some are great, some suck, a lot are in the middle. This series however is different. It’s THE show and THE series which is bigger than anything else in the world of professional wrestling. Wrestlemania has been around 29 years now and with the latest edition only a day away as of right now, it’s still going strong.

Around 2001, Wrestlemania became a spectacle in addition to an event as they started going to major stadiums and drawing 70,000+ people to every show. That’s remarkable and the fact that the crowds keep growing is a great sign. I love wrestling and I love Wrestlemania, so watching these shows has been a treat.

I’ll be back on July 24 with the Summerslam Redos, so I hope to not see you then. Why would I want to see you? I want you at your computers reading the reviews. Go read more of them now. Or my books. Yeah preferably the books.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We wrap things up with this and a main event which no one ever thought we would see: John Cena vs. The Rock. This is one of if not the only match ever that I had to see. I didn’t know if it would be good or bad, but I needed to see it. The match was announced the night after the last Wrestlemania and was literally built for a year. On the undercard we have Punk vs. Jericho for the world title, Sheamus vs. Bryan for the other title and HHH vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. When that is a DISTANT second match, you know you’ve got something huge. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is about how Cena and Rock’s lives have both built up to this moment and how this match is Once In A Lifetime. Oh and HHH vs. Undertaker is happening too.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus won the Rumble to earn this show. We’re pre-beard for Bryan here which is weird to see anymore. The bell rings, Bryan kisses his girlfriend AJ, turns around into a Brogue Kick and we have a new champion in 18 seconds. That number would haunt Bryan for at least six months.

Team Johnny is fired up for the twelve man tag for later tonight. Miz brags about being in the main event last year but it’s Otunga who gets them to be quiet for a pep talk from Johnny Ace.

Win tickets to Wrestlemania 29!

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Santino is with Mick Foley in a sailor hat and a guy from the fishing show Deadliest Catch. They’re eating crabs and Foley makes bad pirate jokes. Socko and Cobra make appearances, as does Ron Simmons and I think you can get the joke from here.

Some National Guard people are here.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Cody is defending and the idea here is that Big Show has never had a good Wrestlemania moment. You know, because winning a meaningless midcard title in 2012 is more important than main eventing the show in possibly the biggest and best year the company has ever had. During the entrance we get some “highlights” from Show’s career. Naturally the pin in the 8 man tag last year is never mentioned at all.

Cody runs to the floor to start but Show easily throws him back into the ring. There’s a beal across the ring and a hard chop in the corner, followed by a Stink Face for good measure. Cody comes back with some dropkicks to the knee and pounds away as much as he can. Rhodes pounds on Show’s back a bit and is LAUNCHED off on the kickout. The champion works on the knee a bit with a standing leg lock and a DDT to take it down. After some stomps to Show’s head, he shoves Cody away with ease but gets caught by the Disaster Kick. A second is countered with a spear though and the WMD makes Show the champion.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Cody has nothing that was going to keep Show down and with all the building up of the match about Show’s past embarrassments, there was only one way this could end. That and it’s only about five minutes so it didn’t have enough time to suck or anything. Not great but it was exactly what it was expect to be.

Video on what it means to be a Diva.

We recap the Divas tag. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Extra with Maria Menunos when Eve and Beth came in and claimed they should be the guests. A tag match was made.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly

Beth has….wings on her head? Kelly and the freshly heel Eve start things off with Kelly doing her screaming hurricanrana to take over. A handspring elbow hits Eve’s knee in the corner but Kelly breaks up a moonsault and knocks Eve into the Tree of Woe. Off to Maria for a double Stink Face, resulting in the famous stain on the back of Maria’s tights from Eve’s makeup.

Since Maria isn’t a wrestler, the beatdown on her begins quickly with Eve wrapping her up in a body vice. Off to Beth (in gold tonight) for a side bearhug as the match slows WAY down. Back to Eve for some quick double teaming but she takes too long with the shaky moonsault. It’s back to Kelly as things break down a bit. A top rope seated senton gets two on Beth and the Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog. Back to Maria who goes….up. After getting pulled down, Kelly breaks up a gorilla press and a rollup is enough for Maria to pin Beth.

Rating: D+. Four good looking women in tight outfits and one of them anchors a national television show. Do you really need a further explanation as to why this happened? The interesting note: of these four, Maria is the only one involved with Wrestlemania 29 and that’s as a Hall of Fame inductor.

Shawn Michaels, the guest referee inside the Cell, says either the Undertaker or HHH are done tonight.

New attendance record. As always.

Jim Ross comes out to do commentary for the Cell match.

HHH vs. Undertaker

This is inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as guest referee. Undertaker basically became Batman in his cave and wanted a rematch to prove he could beat HHH. As in like he already did. This is also billed as End of an Era, but what era that was never actually became clear. The announcement of the Cell was perfect as HHH said he wanted one more thing, which was presumed to be Streak vs. career. It’s a good lesson in letting the feud set the stipulations, not the calendar. Undertaker debuts his new mohawk here to a gasp from the crowd. The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica.

Taker pounds away into the corner to start with “carcinogenic” right hands according to JR. HHH pounds away as well but gets thrown out to the floor soon thereafter. HHH is sent into the Cell a few times and a backdrop puts him down on the floor again. Taker sends him into the steel over and over as it’s one sided so far. Now it’s the steps instead of the Cell with Taker in full control. Back in and a facebuster is no sold and down goes HHH again.

Old School connects and we head back outside again. Shawn isn’t a factor yet. The steps go upside HHH’s head and set up the apron legdrop. Back in and HHH hits a DDT, which somehow makes us completely even. The steps are in the ring now so HHH slams Taker’s head into them a few times. A Pedigree onto the steps is blocked with a backdrop but HHH comes back with a spinebuster onto the steps, only to get caught in the Hell’s Gate. In an impressive power display, HHH lifts Taker up into a powerbomb to break the hold and get two as well.

HHH throws in a pair of chairs and cracks one of them over Taker’s back. Taker is whipped into the steps in the corner before they’re sent to the outside. JR says there are no laws in the Cell. Other than you win by pin or submission and all that. HHH goes off with the chair, DESTROYING Undertaker Austin/Rock style. Shawn takes the chair away and tells HHH to cover Undertaker because he’s not going to quit. Trips takes the chair back and shoves Shawn down before pounding on Taker even more. He tells Shawn to end it before he does.

Taker says do not stop it as he’s getting back up. He turns around though and is hit in the ribs and back by the chair but it only gets two. HHH is starting to get frustrated so he hits Taker in the back with another chair and it’s time for more pathos with Taker saying don’t stop it. Cue the sledgehammer for a shot to the head for ANOTHER two. HHH (who is cut over the eye) has no idea what to do now.

The Game pulls up the hammer to slam it down onto Taker’s head but Shawn pulls it away to prevent the murder. Shawn is ready to stop it as Taker can barely move. Michaels raises his hand but Taker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate to stop him. Trips breaks it up with a hammer shot but Taker comes back with a low blow and Hell’s Gate on HHH. There’s no referee though and Taker lets it go from exhaustion with his opponent out cold.

Another referee comes in as Taker hits a last effort chokeslam for two. Taker chokeslams the referee (I believe that’s the same referee he beat up in 2001 against HHH as well) but walks into the superkick into the Pedigree…..FOR TWO! I lost my mind watching that live because I really thought it was over. Now HHH shoves Shawn to the floor and Taker sits up to scare the life out of HHH. Taker erupts on HHH with a big boot and running clothesline, setting up snake eyes and another boot.

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

Some more chair shots get two on HHH so Shawn screams at them to end this. HHH tries a hammer shot to the face but Taker easily blocks it. They stare each other down and HHH gives Taker a crotch chop. Trips walks out of the corner into a hammer shot to the head. HHH tries to climb up Taker’s body but the strap comes down, the throat is slit, and the Tombstone makes it 20-0.

Rating: A+. This is another reason why I’m not so wild on last year’s match: they’re capable of SO much better and this is proof. This match told a great story with both guys destroying each other with Shawn being stuck in the middle and trying to figure out what do do in each situation. It’s a great match, it’s a great fight, and it’s pure emotion the entire time. Great stuff here, and most importantly of all: there were moments where I thought it was over. I never bought that as a possibility last year.

After a few moments on the mat, Taker sits up but falls right back down. He pulls himself up on Shawn and they embrace. HHH is still out cold. Shawn and Taker lift him up and carry him out of the ring. They embrace on the stage in one of the most iconic images you’ll ever see. You don’t often get to use that word, but it’s true in this case.

Send Slim Jims to soldiers! I love charity stuff, but it’s a big shift after what we just sat through.

We get clips of the Hall of Fame stuff from last night.

Here’s the live presentation of the 2012 class: Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna (represented by his kids), Ron Simmons, the Horsemen (including Flair, which set off a lawsuit since he was still under contract to TNA), Mike Tyson and Edge (who gets theme music but has short hair which is such an odd look for him). This was the breather that the fans needed.

Heath Slater tries to get a spot in Flo-Rida’s performance but gets turned and then shoved down. Hawkins and Reks laugh at Slater.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga

Teddy: Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, R-Truth, Zack Ryder (with Eve), Booker T, Santino Marella

Each team has a Bella as a fan, the match is for total control of both brands, and Johnny is in a white suit. Oh and Vickie is with Johnny and Horny is with Teddy as the flag bearers. Otunga and Santino are team captains, because Miz and Booker aren’t good enough. Kofi and Dolph start things off for their usual solid sequence. Truth comes in for a double hiptoss and a dancing legdrop.

McIntyre comes in to pound on Truth but it’s quickly off to Khali to change momentum. It should also be mentioned that they’re in red and blue t-shirts with the GM’s on the front. Off to Booker to chop away on Drew and a superkick puts him down. Booker goes after the rest of Team Johnny but the numbers catch up with him, allowing Swagger to take over. Jack gets to beat on Kofi for a bit and it’s off to Henry. Mark pounds him down in the corner as the match slows way down.

Off to Miz with some knees to the chest and a boot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Booker comes back with a suplex for no cover. Ziggler comes in to break up the tag and drop some elbows for two. Everything starts breaking down as Henry hits the Slam on Booker but Khali chops him down. I can’t keep track of everything going on but Henry catches a diving Horny in mid-air.

The girls get in a brawl and there’s the hot tag to Santino to pound on Miz. The Cobra connects and Cole panics until Ziggler makes the save. Another hot tag brings in Ryder for the Rough Ryder for Dolph and a beatdown on everyone else. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve gets in the ring as well. The referee tries to get her out and the distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryder for the pin, making Ace GM of both shows.

Rating: D+. As is the usual case with stuff like this, there was way too much going on to keep track of anything. There were something like 18 people involved in this whole thing and the ending was about Eve and her heel turn more than anything else. Ace would be GM for about four months or so while boring us to death against Cena. Not much to see here though due to the amount of people in the match.

Post match, Eve finally turns on Ryder for good, confirming him as the biggest loser in the WWE. Wasn’t Eve already a heel in the Divas tag? Why is this supposed to be shocking?

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

We get a video on the media blitz and activities for Wrestlemania week.

To celebrate winning, Laurinitis changes the Raw World Title match rules so that if Punk gets disqualified, Jericho wins the title.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

Another few slaps have Punk in a frenzy but he holds off to avoid the DQ. A slam puts Jericho down but he rolls away before the Macho Elbow can be launched. Instead CM dives to the floor to take out Jericho, followed by a wicked smile. Jericho asks how Punk’s sister and father are but Punk doesn’t swing the chair he grabs. Punk charges into a pair of boots to the face and the challenger takes over.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Punk escapes a bow and arrow hold and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho crotch first into the corner. A spinning neckbreaker gets two on Chris and there’s the running knee in the corner. Jericho counters the bulldog but has to stop the Lionsault to avoid knees. That counter is countered into a Walls attempt but Punk shakes him off for two. The Macho Elbow hits knees and Jericho hits the Codebreaker but it sends Punk out to the floor. Back in and Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two.

Punk fires off the kicks and gets two off a quick powerslam. They trade German suplex grips but Punk gets dropped on the top rope to give Jericho control. The Lionsault gets two and Chris goes up, only to be chopped a lot to slow him down. The champion loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls in one of Jericho’s classic counters. Punk finally makes the ropes and sends Jericho to the floor to set up the suicide dive.

Jericho staggers to his feet and Punk hits the running knee, crushing Jericho’s head against the post. They head back in and somehow Jericho grabs the Codebreaker out of nowhere for two. Back up and Jericho pounds away on Punk in the corner, only to go up again and get kicked down. The GTS is countered into the Liontamer (the kneeling version of the Walls) in the middle of the ring but shifts it to the regular Walls.

Jericho has to pull him away from the ropes and Punk escapes into dueling small packages. CM rolls through again into the Anaconda Vice but Jericho knees Punk in the back of the head to escape. The Walls don’t work again and Punk hooks another Vice, this time tucking his head in to avoid the knees. Jericho is trapped and finally gives up.

Rating: A. Great match here with both guys destroying each other and countering everything both guys had. I love the ending with Punk getting smarter as he kept going in a good display of psychology. Thankfully the DQ bit didn’t go anywhere which makes it pretty stupid. Excellent match here though which would have been a great main event for any other show of the year.

Wrestlemania 29 is coming to New Jersey, but we’ll bill it as New York because it sounds better.

Here’s Brodus, who had recently debuted as the Funkasaurus. He tells everyone to get their phone, because they’re gonna call their mamas. Brodus calls his own and apparently she’s here tonight……WITH THE BRIDGE CLUB! Cue a troop of old women for a BIG dance party.

Video on G.I. Joe 2 which was just released like two weeks ago. As in nearly a year after this show.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

Cena sits on the ramp, stunned.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best shows of all time, bar none. The two big matches delivered far better than you could have hoped for, the Raw title match was great, nothing sucked, there are multiple Wrestlemania Moments on here, and the crowd was white hot all night. This is easily in the highest levels of Wrestlemanias ever and it’s every bit as good as it was when I watched it live. Great stuff and absolutely worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original:

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

Redo: A

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

I shortchanged that main event terribly. It’s a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Smackdown
Date: October 10, 2014
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

Tonight is the 15^th Anniversary Special for Smackdown, meaning we’re likely to get a lot of cameos and clips from great Smackdowns over the years. These shows are always hit or miss and could range from a really fun show to PLEASE LET IT END. The flashbacks should be fun though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of great Smackdown moments. The old man taking off his face to reveal Bischoff blew my mind.

Here’s Stephanie for our first long chat of the night. She talks about the origin of the word Smackdown, saying it was made by the man who lost to her husband on the first episode of Smackdown, the Rock. Smackdown has always been about the people, so here’s BIG JOHNNY ACE! We actually get a PEOPLE POWER chant and Johnny talks about how great his era really was.

Johnny has been doing his research on the WWE Network (Stephanie: “Proof that anyone can use it.”) and has some matches to make tonight. Cue Teddy Long (with JBL doing the Teddy Dance!) who says he was Smackdown GM for six years and he’s not letting Ace take it away again. Ace cuts him off though and says he’s making a tag match with Miz/Cesaro vs. Sheamus/Swagger. Teddy would make it a six man tag with Bo Dallas and Mark Henry being added. Ace: “TEN MAN TAG! TEN MAN TAG! TEN MAN TAG!”

Johnny adds the Dusts and Usos to the mix, but Teddy says let’s make it a FIFTEEN MAN TAG MATCH! Ace says that doesn’t make sense. Teddy takes the previous ten guys and add the Mini Gator, Slater, O’Neil, Torito, Los Matadores and……TITO SANTANA? Stephanie likes the idea, even though Santana isn’t here. Apparently the Gator and Bull count as one guy between the two of them in case the math didn’t make sense. Stephanie adds a stipulation: each guy picks a team and the winning captain is named the best GM of all time. This was totally fun and the battling tag match ideas was a nice idea.

Stephanie isn’t done though as she announces John Cena and Dean Ambrose appearing on MizTV later in the night. This brings out Adam Rose and the Rosebuds to with Smackdown a Happy Birthday. He invites Stephanie onto the Exotic Express but instead she makes Rose vs. Kane next. Stephanie does her own dance and of course Teddy joins in. Even Ace dances a bit.

We get the first great Smackdown moment: the debut episode with Rock vs. HHH. So the pilot has been written off I guess.

Kane vs. Adam Rose

Kane says he isn’t a cheeseburger or Rosebud and tonight he’s going to crash the party. Rose tries to speed things up to start before grabbing a sleeper. That goes nowhere so he goes up top, only to dive into an uppercut. The chokeslam gives Rose his first loss at 1:03. That’s kind of a waste of the last six months but at least he wasn’t given any kind of a push.

Kane goes after the Exotic Express post match as they all go into the ring to check on Rose. He beats some of them up until it’s only the Bunny left. JBL is thrilled but some of the Rosebuds get back in to distract Kane so the Bunny can escape.

From June 27, 2002: John Cena answers Kurt Angle’s open challenge. Undertaker shook Cena’s hand after the match.

AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Paige is holding AJ’s title on the announcers’ table during the match. Fox scores with some kicks to start before getting two off a great looking northern lights suplex. We’re in the chinlock less than forty seconds into the match. AJ counters a backbreaker into the Black Widow for the submission at 1:22.

Paige and Fox go after AJ but she fights them off without much effort.

The next moment is a bunch of big dives and crashes, capped off by Lesnar and Big Show breaking the ring. In a nice touch, each package is introduced with a different Smackdown theme from over the years.

Seth Rollins vs. Kofi Kingston

Noble and Mercury are at ringside to watch out for Ambrose. Seth immediately stomps Kofi down in the corner to start before whipping him hard into the barricade. Kofi’s face is dropped onto the apron before he gets another beating back inside. Kingston finally gets a knee up in the corner and scores with a dropkick. Seth just hammers him again and hits the Buckle Bomb. There’s a second buckle bomb and the Curb Stomp gives Seth the pin at 3:35.

Rating: C-. In the words of Big Zeke’s theme song, this here’s what you call domination. Seth squashed Kofi here and it’s kind of sad to see Kingston having such little direction that this is all he can do anymore. There wasn’t anyone else that can take a loss like this? Granted it’s not like it’s going to be remembered in like a day though so it’s not that big of a deal.

Luke Harper release video.

Another video package on Money in the Bank cash-ins.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title again. Rusev powers him into the corner to start and kicks Ziggler in the back before choking on the apron. Ziggler fights out of a chinlock but misses a Stinger Splash as we take a break. Back with Dolph hammering away but getting caught with the knees to the ribs and fall away slam. Rusev hooks a front facelock with a body scissors but Ziggler finally rolls forward to escape.

A hard shot to the face staggers Rusev and there’s a dropkick for good measure. The running DDT is blocked but Rusev misses a charge, setting up a bad looking Fameasser for one. Back up and the running superkick sets up the Accolade to make Dolph tap at 8:20. This was only a few steps above a squash save for that one flurry.

Rating: C. But I thought Rock buried Rusev on Raw and there was no way he could ever recover. Those comments still make my head hurt but that’s another story for another time. This was a big win for Rusev and they’re getting more and more common. I know the logical story was to have him go over Sheamus for the US Title, but they’re getting to the point where he needs to go into the World Title picture with wins like these. He’s not there yet, but they can’t ignore him much longer.

Post match Lana says Philadelphia being the birthplace of America explains a lot of things about this country. She brings up meeting Rock on Monday and starts ranting in Russian. Rusev takes the mic from her and says Rock will pay the consequences. He issues a challenge to Big Show for Raw.

We look at Austin vs. Booker T. in a grocery store. I loved that.

After Raw went off the air, Rock came in to see HHH and Stephanie to talk about the upcoming Smackdown special. They bring up the main event of the first Smackdown and Rock giving him a Rock Bottom the next week. HHH thinks it was Road Dogg that got beaten up because HHH kept giving Rock Pedigrees and leaving him looking up at the lights. Rock wonders what would happen if they headlined Wrestlemania one more time.

Both guys talk trash and HHH says name the time and Wrestlemania so he can turn off the electricity on Mr. electricity. They get nose to nose and Rock asks why they’re this close because it’s kind of weird. Rock: “One of us has to back up.” HHH: “Well I can’t do it. I’m the Game.” Rock: “Well I’m the People’s Champ.”

They agree to do it at the same time but neither guy moves. They finally back up and HHH again says name the time and stadium. Stephanie breaks it up and suggests they go to dinner. HHH: “How about we go to Wrestlemania?” Rock: “How about you pay the bill you cheap bastard?” HHH says Rock is cheap because he made all those #1 movies and won’t pay for dinner. This was a really funny segment but I’m not sure I want to see these guys headline a Wrestlemania. Then again, it’s not the worst idea in the world either.

The announcers get a birthday cake and it winds up on Tom’s face since he’s the rookie. It wouldn’t be Smackdown if that didn’t happen.

Booker T. comes out to do commentary on the main event.

Another clip of Austin leaving a rattlesnake in the McMahons’ office and then destroying the DX bus.

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

Teddy: Usos, Los Matadores, Mark Henry, Sheamus, Jack Swagger, El Torito

Johnny: Miz, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Goldust, Stardust, Bo Dallas, Damien Mizdow, Mini Gator

Goldust and Fernando get things going and don’t seem all that interested in doing much for the first thirty seconds or so. Fernando finally takes Goldust over with a hurricanrana and it’s off to Stardust who is quickly sent to the floor. Everyone gets in for a staredown as we take a break. Back with Titus knocking Jey into the Johnny corner but the Usos clean house, only to have Stardust kick Jimmy out to the floor. Jimmy gets caught in the corner and takes a splash from the Gator.

The fans want Mizdow and get their wish with a right hand to Jimmy’s head. We hit a chinlock for a bit before it’s off to Titus as things slow down. Titus charges into Jimmy’s foot in the corner but Cesaro breaks up a hot tag attempt. We take another break and come back with Jimmy fighting out of Slater’s chinlock and nailing an enziguri. He backdrops Cesaro down and makes the tag off to Sheamus for very little reaction. Cesaro takes the ten forearms to the chest, just like Slater and Stardust.

Sheamus has all three of them in a row and goes down the line to hit each of them over and over. Everything breaks down and the Usos pull Slater and O’Neil to the floor for suicide dives from Los Matadores, followed by a double dive from the Usos to take out everyone. The minis go at it until Bo powerbombs Torito onto the pile on the floor.

Henry can’t hit the Slam on Dallas and gets low bridged out to the floor. There’s a Brogue Kick to Dallas but Sheamus gets swung by Cesaro until Jey superkicks Cesaro down. Mizdow gets the tag and tries the Skull Crushing Finale but gets driven into the corner. The Brogue Kick to Mizdow sets up Jimmy’s Superfly Splash for the pin at 17:48.

Rating: C+. This was nothing but fun and that’s all it was supposed to be. Was there really any doubt that Teddy was going to win this in the end? He’s the definition of the feel good character and it’s hard not to like him. The match was fine and the big dives were fun as always. Nothing great but a fun way to celebrate fifteen years.

Teddy is lifted onto the winners’ shoulders.

Roway is free video.

Time for MizTV to close the show. We recap the events from Monday before Miz announces the match at Hell in a Cell as an anything goes contract on a pole match. Ambrose and Cena come out, with Cena hugging a Make-A-Wish kid on the way to the ring. Dean says he doesn’t care who Cena is because no one crosses him. Seth Rollins tried to end his career and Ambrose wants his revenge. John wants to take that from him and no one steals from Dean Ambrose.

Cena talks about how the WWE brass is scared of Dean Ambrose because he’ll say whatever is on his mind out of a love for this business. On Monday, Ambrose showed the balls (and Cena has an actual pair of baseballs in his hand) to leave Cena laying because it gets Cena towards what he wants. To Miz: “Why are you looking at these? You don’t even know what they are.”

Cena knows that Dean is going to make him earn it at the pay per view because they’re cut from the same cloth. There’s a reason Cena can come to this ring every night for twelve years: he has a pair of these and doesn’t break his word for anyone. Ambrose better bring his a-game to Dallas because Cena likes his chances.

Miz hypes up Cena’s career and asks Ambrose is he thinks he can beat him. Ambrose: “Yep.” Dean knows he can do it and Miz keeps talking until Cena threatens to slap the glasses off his face. Cena goes to leave but Miz says that’s not how this works. The guests are supposed to fight and I think you know what’s coming. Miz gets beaten down and takes a DDT from Ambrose, only for Dean to get AA’d. Rollins smiles in the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I had a good time with this show and that’s all that it needed to be. They had a good time with the Smackdown anniversary, even though they pretty much blew by the last ten years or so. The ending was a nice touch and helps set up the match even better. I like it being a contract on a pole match as it gives Ambrose a better chance to win, even though he isn’t going to pin Cena. That being said, he almost has to win inside the Cell, even though I’m not sure he will. Nice show here and that’s an upgrade for Smackdown.

Results

Kane b. Adam Rose – Chokeslam

AJ Lee b. Alicia Fox – Black Widow

Seth Rollins b. Kofi Kingston – Curb Stomp

Rusev b. Dolph Ziggler – Accolade

Team Teddy b. Team Johnny – Superfly Splash to Mizdow

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 22, 2011
Location: Rexhall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re up north this week and it’s time for the fallout from Cena going Alberto hunting to end last week’s show. Also I’m sure we’ll be getting more out of Punk vs. the establishment in the form of Nash/HHH. This is a hot time for the company so hopefully they can manage to keep it going this week in, as Lawler likes to call it, Bizarro Land. Let’s get to it.

One note: I’m watching a recording so the times on matches with commercials may be a bit inaccurate but I’ll do my best with them.

Here’s Alberto to open the show in a Lamborghini. Sign in the audience: Alberta hates Alberto. That’s cute. He says “my name” and is cut off by My Time Is Now. Cena seems way over here in Canada. He introduces himself to Alberto and calls himself the man that’ll take the championship off Del Rio. Also, he’s going to hurt him so badly that Del Rio is going to run back to his parents’ house because he’s tired of the flea market scarves, the second rate help and the rented luxury cars. This is serious Cena.

Cena says he’s tired of seeing average people like Del Rio because there’s only one person in this company that can go toe to toe with Cena. He’s looking at Del Rio and doesn’t see CM Punk so he’s not looking at anything better than average. Cue Punk who says Cean shouldn’t get another title shot. Punk beat him twice in big matches and would be champion if not for Alberto cashing in (which he’s cool with).

Punk and Cena argue a bit and Alberto cuts them off (Cena: Hey look it’s captain third wheel), saying it’s his time. Alberto says get out of here in Spanish. Punk says never cut him off again. He says his cashing in were both better than Alberto’s. He knows that everyone is out to get him, including Del Rio, HHH, Nash and maybe even Jack Tunney. However, Cena needs to pay attention because just after Punk insulted Stephanie at the PPV, he gets jumped. The reason Cena needs to pay attention is if he had beaten Punk, the text would have said “take out Cena”.

Punk thinks someone wants Alberto to be champion. Punk says he’s going to cash in his rematch tonight. Cena says he’s cashing in tonight, not Punk. Punk: “Your rematch clause is about as real as Santa Claus.” Alberto says he defended last week so this week it’s time to celebrate. He celebrates in full wrestling gear? Now here’s HHH to talk some more. He tells Alberto to take the smug look off his face because he’s not here for Del Rio. Alberto’s match is up next so stick around. Also you can’t just cash in rematch clauses whenever you like it. Punk vs. Cena for the #1 contender spot at Night of Champions.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Morrison

Non-title here remember. Morrison goes right for him to start but gets guillotined on the top. That goes nowhere so Del Rio goes for the arm. Morrison fires off a dropkick but it’s right back to the arm. John sends him to the floor and tries an Asai Moonsault, only to miss and land on his feet. Del Rio sends him into the barrier and takes over again. Back from a break with Del Rio holding a chinlock.

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. I love Alberto’s psychology as he hits something to slow Morrison down and and then it’s right back to the arm. Cole says Morrison is an avocado. Why he calls his this isn’t clear but then again what is from Cole? Del Rio keeps hammering away as this is another of the kind of matches he needs: a match with a legit name who shouldn’t be ready to beat him so the loss means nothing but the win means something for Alberto.

Morrison manages to backdrop him to the floor and gets all fired up. He goes for the Starship Pain position but Del Rio gets away before it launches. The Mexican hits a German on the American. Cross armbreaker can’t hook and Del Rio gets caught in a spinning DDT which looked good as Morrison managed to avoid the botch. Morrison’s shining wizard doesn’t hit but he gets a rana for a close two. Big kick to the head looks to set up Starship Pain but Del Rio moves. Morrison’s shoulder hits the post and the armbreaker ends this at 12:30.

Rating: B. I was into this one. Like I said earlier, he needs wins like this one because it builds him up. Swagger lost matches like these and it really hurt his credibility. This makes Del Rio look good because Morrison is a solid and established midcard guy. A loss to Del Rio doesn’t hurt him and the win makes Alberto look good. That’s all you need and it’s the best thing they can do.

Del Rio puts the hold on again on the floor.

Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The announcers said this was vs. Brie before the commercial. Does it really matter? The evil Divas do an old school inset interview talking about how they don’t want to be popular or voluptuous or pretty like Eve and Kelly (which is Beth saying these things and Natalya saying we don’t). Nikki takes over to start but gets caught in the hip gyrating moonsault. What awesomeness! Moonsault is broken up but Eve hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin at 2:37. This was nothing but it was bad.

Kelly hits K2 on Brie post match. Natalya and Beth come out to glare at the nice girls.

Nash is up next.

Ok no he isn’t.

Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger

Vickie does Jack’s intro and is managing him now. Swagger takes him to the mat very quickly and JR says Swagger is a former two time world champion. So the ECW Title counts? We’ll have to remember that for Mark Henry later. Riley gets that SWEET spinebuster of his and here’s Dolph. He yells at Vickie as Swagger can’t get the powerbomb. Vickie is on the floor but we didn’t see what happened. Swagger goes after Dolph and shoves him, walking back into the ring and a rollup for the pin at 2:00. I really hope they’re not getting straight to Dolph vs. Jack as this could go for a very long time.

Here’s HHH who talks about how there were issues at Summerslam but he wants to bury this right here. He calls out Nash and they shake hands/hug. Nash says he believes what HHH said about not sending the text, however he needs to be able to prove that he’s a man, referencing wanting to fight Punk. HHH says Nash doesn’t work here so he can’t do anything. Nash says he would have killed Punk last week and the security was to protect Punk, not Nash. HHH can fight Punk, just not here. He asks Nash to leave and here’s Punk.

Punk says he wants to get to the bottom of this. Let’s play Clue: was it Big Lazy with the tube of Just For Men in the conservatory? Was it HHH backstage with the sledgehammer? Or was it Stephanie in the library with a candlestick? We have a library? The tape library perhaps? Punk doesn’t believe any of these people and Nash said that Punk stepped over a line last week. That’s what Punk does, but now he’s done talking. He goes for Punk but HHH cuts him off.

Punk gets in HHH’s face and wants to know what HHH’s problem is with Punk. Why does he not want Punk being champion? Who’s pulling the strings? HHH? Nash? Or Stephanie, the bean headed wife? HHH says he made a promise to not get physically involved, but don’t cross a line with him because he’s the same guy he used to be and he’ll leave Punk laying where he stands. Punk makes fun of HHH again and Nash decks him and the former Clique leaves with HHH being mad at Nash. The fans chant for Punk.

Back from a break and HHH yells at Nash. Nash says HHH isn’t the same since he put on the suit and leaves.

Tag Titles: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty vs. Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne

This is a rematch from last week. Lawler points out that the champions haven’t done anything with the belts. We get a Bushwhackers reference as Lawler says they had better charisma. That’s true at least. Bourne beats on McGillicutty to start but that doesn’t last long with Kofi coming in. After some more attacking he goes outside after both champions and gets caught easily.

Otunga comes in to work over Kofi, hitting a corner clothesline for a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds and here’s McGillicutty who hits a double team dropkick/atomic drop for two. JR says that was an almost perfect dropkick. Off to another chinlock and McGillicutty yells at Lawler, asking if that was impressive. In a cool move Kofi nips up into a headscissors and brings in Bourne. He cleans house with jumping knees and a spin kick for two. Kofi sends Michael to the floor and hits Trouble in Paradise to Otunga. Shooting Star Press gives us new champions at 5:00.

Rating: C. Eh just a quick match here. Otunga and McGillicutty aren’t horrible but they were boring as champions. Either way this wasn’t too bad but hopefully this starts a new thing in the division as JR and the announcers make it seem like it’s kind of a big deal. This wasn’t bad and them winning that fast was probably a good thing.

Some NXT guys and Ryder pour champagne over the new champions. They’re really pushing this as a big deal.

Johnny Ace catches up with HHH and tells him Nash was in a car wreck. Well of course he was. Ace gives HHH the hospital info and will run Raw as HHH leaves. I’ll set the over/under at 12 minutes into the main event before Nash arrives.

Here’s Santino for a match but Miz and R-Truth jump him on the way to the ring and give him a big beatdown. Truth calls Santino Little Jimmy and says that’ll happen every time. DON’T START THE WHATS!!! Truth says he’s tired of the HHH/Stephanie/everyone else conspiracy. He used to main event PPVs but now it’s not about him. It’s not about Miz either.

Time for Miz to speak and he says Truth is right. The Canadian crowd gets on his nerves so he yells at them. He was in the main event of Wrestlemania and now he has to yell at Jared the Subway guy. Miz speaks slowly so Canada can understand him. He’s sick of Santino, who hasn’t won a match on Raw in five years (or since June but who’s counting) while the two of them get nothing.

They’ll be taking an opportunity instead of waiting for one which includes stomping spiders. Some people are gonna get got. That’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and IT’S AWESOME. In a cool moment, Truth does a freestyle to the beat of his song and yells at the crowd with YOU SUCK replacing What’s Up. That’s rather cool.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

Ace and Del Rio are at ringside. The fans throw Cena’s shirt back twice. I’ll take it if they don’t want it. This is a pro-Punk crowd. It’s a slow start but they have some time. The fans chant for the Oilers (hockey team) and here comes Cena. He goes into the finishing sequence very quickly. The Shuffle is countered into a rollup for two very quickly. Leg lariat sets up the corner knee and bulldog for no cover.

Punk goes up but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back and both guys are down. Punk grabs the GTS but Cena escapes as does Punk from the AA. Another AA attempt fails and Punk gets the springboard clothesline for two. GTS is countered into an STF attempt but Punk escapes. Cena uses pure power to push Punk down into the STF where Punk is in trouble.

That’s a good looking hold but Punk makes the ropes. Cena’s shoulder goes into the post and the GTS gets two. They’re telling a good story as they know regular stuff isn’t going to work so they’re throwing bombs from the beginning. Punk goes up but the elbow misses. I love that tribute he does to Savage. That’s what it should be: a move done in his honor and the point to the sky is perfect in multiple ways for Savage.

Cena now goes up and hits the Famesasser for two. AA #4 is countered into a SWEET running knee for two. HUGE AA gets a very close two. Again I love the throwing huge stuff and almost nothing but huge stuff. Top rope cross body is rolled through into the AA but Punk reverses into a sunset flip for two. He sets for the GTS but here’s Nash again, saying it’s not over with Punk. Punk turns around and the AA sends Cena to Night of Champions at 14:25.

Rating: B+. Seriously were you expecting anything but a good match here? They have that chemistry that you need and it’s showing here. You give these two fifteen minutes and they’ll give you the top level match they’re capable of. Obviously TV is different than PPV but this was rather awesome indeed. Good match as the kicking out was good stuff.

Alberto immediately jumps Cena until Johnny Ace breaks it up. Del Rio beats him up some more because he can.

Overall Rating: B+. This was another good show with some good matches and a lot of drama. The idea of having Nash faking the car accident and someone helping him in on it (no idea if Ace did it or not because he may have just been given a note by a fake caller etc) is interesting as there could be a lot of ways it could go. Good show here with a nice mixture of stuff going on.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. John Morrison – Cross Armbreaker

Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Swinging neckbreaker

Alex Riley b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – Shooting Star Press to Otunga

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Tonight we continue the road to Summerslam with the first public statement from the champ (I think) CM Punk. HHH is still in charge and in theory JR will he here as well. We’ll probably start the building to the PPV as there are only two Raws left before the show, which has really snuck up on us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of what got us to have two champions. I still don’t see why Vince didn’t strip Punk of the title as MITB went off the air or book him in a “champion can lose the title by countout” match with anyone he could find.

Here’s Punk, still with the new song, to open the show. He holds up the belt to a solid reaction and declares that THE CHAMP IS HERE. He has a story to tell us. Punk says he knew for about a year that his contract was going to be up. He loves working in WWE but not the bosses. He spoke his mind and we managed to get some change out of it. Vince has been relieved of his duties and that’s change.

Punk takes some credit but the fans are to be thanked also. Punk is here to make this fun again but he couldn’t do that from his couch in Chicago. He made the call to come back and the timing couldn’t be better. Cena may have a belt but what Punk has is a championship title. This title means that he’s the best wrestler in the world.

Cue HHH who says he brought back Punk because it was good for business. That’s why he brought back JR and Morrison (again, when was he actually gone other than to injury?): business. Personally though, HHH thinks Punk is smug, overrated and believes his own hype too much. Punk says it’s like looking in a mirror.

The champion talks about how Vince has let guys go that are main event level talent: guys like Batista, Foley, Jericho and Lesnar. HHH says if you want to tell the truth, why not do it about why you re-signed? Punk isn’t sure about this but HHH says it’s because he wanted to hear his own voice. Punk has called the microphone a pipe bomb, but what happens if no one is around to hear a pipe bomb? He needs the WWE Universe for the platform.

Punk calls that a 50/50 shot, but the truth is that he’s the WWE Champion. HHH says that’s true but so is Cena. HHH says he’ll fix that tonight and his music plays him out. Punk says cut the music, even though he loves Motorhead. He says he’s just getting warmed up. Punk isn’t going to shut up just because he signed a contract. If Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Punk’s words) wants to talk about egos, let’s talk about HHH’s.

We get references to HHH using his power backstage that he got from sleeping with the boss’ daughter and how he held everyone down. That’s true to a degree but that’s a big debate for later. HHH says because he’s the boss, he can’t break certain rules, even though he wants to take Punk’s head off. “Can you do that, or do you need to go ask your wife first?” Punk leaves HHH who is kind of smiling.

Rey has a tag match later and Morrison dives over him. They get Miz/Truth later.

Oh great there’s a Divas battle royal next.

Divas Battle Royal

Picture every Diva who isn’t champion and they’re in this. Kelly is on commentary here. They’re going out incredibly fast. We’re down to Alicia, Beth, Natalya, Eve and the Bellas. Scratch Nattie from that. This match actually takes a break. Really? Back with more boring Divas action. Alicia is out. There’s nothing to talk about here because they’re just trying to put each other out. Even looks good in pink though. Eve is out and landed pretty badly. Beth puts both Bellas out (one on each shoulder) to win at 7:18.

Rating: D. So? It’s the same stuff as always and it never was very interesting at all. There’s nothing else to say here as most of the match was either rapid eliminations or the commercial. It was what it was and that’s about all there is to say about it. At least Beth can destroy her now.

Post match Kelly goes in to hug her like an idiot and Beth turns heel and kills her, thank goodness.

Truth comes up to Miz and says they’re a lot alike. Miz disagrees so Truth says that having two WWE champions is bad. It’s horrible. It’s…..”A conspiracy?” Miz doesn’t like this and tells Truth to leave. Truth wants to know why HHH had them in a tournament if he was just going to bring back Punk. I guess we’re ignoring Vince making that tournament now.

Cena says his focus tonight is HHH because there are two WWE Champions. The decision is tonight so Cena will be there for it.

The Miz/R-Truth vs. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Miz vs. Morrison starts us off. John keeps going after Truth which lets Miz get a shot in. Suplex gets two. Nice leg sweep puts Miz down and it’s off to Rey. Seated Senton off the top gets two. Miz is sent to the floor as is truth. Rey hits a seated senton off the apron to take Truth down and John dives over the top with a corkscrew dive to mostly hit Miz and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding Rey in a camel clutch. During the break the evildoers actually didn’t cheat to take over. Nice to see for a change. Truth continues his old school offense with an abdominal stretch. Rey fires off but it’s off to Miz who gets a seated boot for two and we hit the chinlock. Enziguri puts Miz down but he keeps the tag from being made. Back to the chinlock, this time by Truth.

Big spinning forearm gets two on Mysterio. Rey dives again for the ropes but Miz makes the save again. Nice little story there for the match. Miz hits his corner clothesline but goes up and dives into a dropkick. There’s the hot tag to Morrison who gets a solid pop. See what happens when you build something up?

He cleans house and hits the C4 to Truth for two. He loads up Starship Pain but Miz pulls Truth out of the way. Back inside an axe kick misses and a Pele kick sends Truth into the 619 position. Miz makes the save and sends him into the crowd. Moonlight Drive hits Miz but Morrison walks into that jumping downward spiral for the pin at 11:03.

Rating: B. See, THIS I can get into. They built up the hot tag all match and the payoff for it was a solid reaction from the crowd. Things can be so simple and yet can still work very well. I liked it rather well here and Morrison’s mistakes were played up well by Miz and Truth, who caught him in his mistakes. Nice to see and it’s called psychology. Makes me all tingly.

Post match Truth hits Morrison with a bottle of water and Morrison takes the Finale.

HHH says nothing of note.

Summerslam Recall is Warrior taking the title from Honky in probably the best Summerslam moment for the vast majority of the series.

Here are Dolph and Vickie. I’m still not sure on the song. Vickie says her catchphrase a lot and wants to know why Dolph hasn’t been getting enough attention. Dolph says he’s more of a man than anyone in the arena and anyone in the back. Cue…..Alex Riley? I think I can work with this. Riley wants to know when Ziggler is going to accomplish something without Vickie. Dolph has Vickie step aside….and leaves.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

This is non-title and the Nexus name has been dropped it seems. King mentioned Ryder’s show before the breaHe gets the hot tag to a ROAR but gets beaten down after a brief flurry. Santino is sent to the floor and Ryder misses the Rough Ryder. He gets caught in something like a Demolition Decapitator at 2:22. This was fine.

We get some of the earlier exchange between the Game and Punk.

Punk says he’s the champ.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne runs into a boot to start and the beating begins. Del Rio’s arm work is great as the psychology of the match is perfect for him. His finisher is an arm hold so why would he work on anything but the arm? That’s basic psychology for you: why would you do something to say Bourne’s back if you’re going to work on the arm to end it? Bourne makes a brief comeback and the armbreaker ends this at 2:30.

Post match he puts the hold on again and Kofi comes out for the save.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement on who should be champion. He’s about to say it but John Lauranitis (you try to spell it) comes out and says executive VP and in charge of signing talent. HHH doesn’t look happy here. Johnny Ace (see why he got that name?) says Vince would want Cena stripped of the title. That brings out Cena who says that Ace never thinks and is the yes man that Punk was talking about.

Cena says that he’s not going to strip the title because it would devalue the title. He talks about how he wants to hit Ace again because that was his favorite part about Money in the Bank. HHH: “I don’t have any problem with that.” Ace leaves and HHH says he’s not stripping the title. Punk only came back to WWE when Cena was pinning Rey and said to hit his music. HHH again says he won’t strip the title and that brings out the other champion.

Punk doesn’t like the idea that HHH is going to strip him of the title which he has a legit claim to also. HHH says that’s not what he was going to do and tells them to quit whining. Also to Cena, it’s not Hunter. He’s Cena’s boss. At Summerslam it’s the rematch for one undisputed champion. Kind of lackluster the way he said it but it’s the only way they can do it.

HHH leaves and they stare each other down. Punk holds up his title and his music plays us out. Scratch that as Cena holds his up and that music plays us off. Punk goes onto the ropes and now HIS song plays. This is kind of awesome. Now Cena does the same but Punk’s is the last one heard after it changes like 8 times total.

Overall Rating: B. This was a hit and miss show. The HHH and Punk stuff was good and the tag match was good, but the rest of the show was building to other shows later in the future, which is ok but a little boring for a TV show. Summerslam is looking better now though as you can see a lot of the matches coming into focus. Good sign and a good building show here, but not great due to the wrestling being subpar.

Results

Beth Phoenix won a Divas Battle Royal

The Miz/R-Truth b. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio – What’s Up to Morrison

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Middle rope elbow/backbreaker combination to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker

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No Way Out 2012
Date: June 17, 2012
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

The show is back after a few years’ absence with the main event in a cage. It’s Cena vs. Big Show with Cena and Ace’s respective jobs on the line. Other than that we have Sheamus defending against a fill in challenger in the form of Ziggler, as well as Bryan vs. Punk vs. Kane in what should be a solid match. This card has the potential to be entertaining which is more than I would have said about Over the Limit. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: David Otunga vs. Brodus Clay

Otunga attacked Clay’s knee on Friday to set this up. Chimmel says Otunga is from Larvard Hart School. Brodus’ knee is taped up but he pounds Otunga into the corner very easily. Striker says that Brodus has an MCL sprain. Otunga finally uses that Larvard Hart brain and goes after the knee. He hooks a DDT onto the leg and a chop block gets two. Otunga gets the knee tied up in the ropes and hits a neckbreaker for no cover. Off to a front facelock but Brodus powers out of it. Brodus hits the headbutt to the chest and the suplex to send Otunga to the floor where he takes the countout at 5:45.

Rating: D+. The match was ok despite the weak ending. I guess this is going to continue which at least means Brodus has something to do. It would seem like they’re setting up Big Show vs. Brodus, likely at MITB, so putting him against another Ace crony makes sense. This got the fans going though which is the point of a match like this so it accomplished its goal in that regard.

The opening video of the PPV is about Big Show vs. Cena and their whole backstory.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

They do big match intros which at least makes this seem like it’s important. To be fair though there’s no story here and Ziggler is filling in so I can’t complain that much about it opening. Vickie kisses Ziggler on the cheek and Sheamus tries the Brogue Kick ala Wrestlemania. Ziggler gets to the floor and looks terrified. Back in and Sheamus takes over with a headlock onto the mat. Dolph gets up and hits a sweet dropkick to take Sheamus down.

That gets Ziggler nowhere though as Sheamus runs him over. The sleeper is quickly broken up as Sheamus sits him on the top rope (not in the corner), so Ziggler slaps him in the face. They go to the floor as the champion is fired up. Sheamus grabs the arm for a bit but Ziggler escapes to the top. His cross body is easily caught and an elbow to the face puts Dolph back down again.

The ten forearms are broken up and we get the rare apron fighting. Ziggler pulls the weakened shoulder into the post and Sheamus is slowed down for the first time in five minutes. A DDT gets two back in the ring for the challenger. Ziggler takes it to the mat and hooks a chinlock including the handstand. Sheamus breaks the hold but his Regal Roll is countered into another DDT for two.

The fans are chanting for Ziggler now. Back to the chinlock which was running long earlier on. Sheamus counters out of it but gets caught in a rollup with a hand on the ropes for two. Off to a modified crossface chickenwing with a bodyscissors by Ziggler but Sheamus powers out of it again very quickly. Brogue Kick misses and Ziggler grabs the sleeper which is quickly broken.

Dolph goes up but Sheamus “catches” him. I think it was supposed to be a slam position into a fireman’s carry but Sheamus dropped him. Sheamus shows off his brain though as he shifts to an Irish Curse position instead. That was a good save by the champion. Ziggler escapes White Noise and hits the Zig Zag for two. Sheamus pulls himself to the top but Dolph hits an X-Factor off the top for two. ANOTHER sleeper attempt is countered into the Irish Curse and there are the ten forearms. The sleeper is easily countered into White Noise and the Brogue Kick keeps the title at 15:04.

Rating: C-. This was working at times but the constant chinlocks/sleepers hurt it a lot. They were on different pages in there at times and it really brought things down. This wasn’t a bad match or anything but the chemistry was off the level that it usually hits for these two. The fans popped big for the Brogue Kick though and that’s the right idea. Good stuff considering it was a replacement match.

Vince is here and finds Ace in a red suit. Ace thinks there’s no need for a man with a concussion to be here. Show is guaranteeing victory so there’s no need for Vince to be here. Vince doesn’t say anything and walks into his office, shutting the door in Ace’s face. Josh comes up to talk to Ace, sending Johnny into a rant about how he has work to do tonight and tomorrow, so leave him alone.

Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

This is a tuxedo match and the logical conclusion to the feud between these two. Ricardo has his own music now which is much faster and perkier than Alberto’s. Both guys present themselves to the crowd to start and Santino seems to be the favorite. Ricardo makes first contact by ripping the pocket off. Santino: “THIS IS MY ONLY TUXEDO!” He rips Ricardo’s sleeve off and we get a few atomic drops.

Ricardo loses his jacket and it’s time for some bullfighting. Santino’s jacket is ripped up too. A drop toehold lets Santino get the shoes off and we get a LOUD boring chant. There goes Ricardo’s shirt and jacket but he comes back with a jawbreaker. Santino loads up the Cobra but Ricardo throws the sock into the crowd. He takes Santino down and removes the pants….revealing a Cobra sock. Santino kicks him in the neck and removes the pants for the win at 4:25. Ricardo wears Del Rio underwear.

Rating: D+. This was a comedy match and while it was funny at times, I’m with the fans. This belonged on Raw or Smackdown rather than second on a PPV. Hopefully this ends the feud or lets Alberto get the US Title off of Santino. It would do both of them some good, as Del Rio needs to be seasoned some more before he bores us in the main event.

Punk says he has no relationship with AJ and that he’ll overcome the odds tonight. AJ comes up and kisses him for good luck, but he says luck is for losers and leaves. AJ glares at Josh for some reason.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian is defending in this Over the Limit rematch. Feeling out process to start with Cody taking him to the mat with some kicks to the ribs. Christian comes back and sends Cody into the corner for a stalemate. Cody goes to the apron and tries to suplex the champ to the floor but gets dropped onto the apron instead. A dropkick to the floor puts Cody down but he comes back by ramming Christian into the apron.

Back in and Cody starts in on the arm but Christian slides to the floor. He tries to crotch Cody on the post but gets pulled into the post face first. Front suplex gets two on Christian and Rhodes pounds away in the corner. Off to a short arm scissors, but wasn’t it Christian’s ankle that was hurt on Raw? Christian goes up but Cody knocks him down and the shoulder hits the apron on the way to the floor.

Cody follows him out but walks into a tornado DDT off the steps to put both guys down. Back in and a dropkick gets two for the Canadian. Cody gets put into 619 position but Christian’s uppercut misses. Christian’s top rope cross body is rolled through, getting two for Cody. Cody reverses a victory roll but takes FOREVER going up. Another tornado DDT gets two but Christian is hurting.

Cody hits the Alabama Slam for two but walks into the reverse DDT. The champ loads up the spear but Cody drops to the floor. Back inside the sunset flip out of the corner is countered but Christian hits the Killswitch….for two. Frog Splash hits knees but the Disaster Kick misses. Killswitch is countered into another missed Disaster Kick, letting Christian spear him down to retain at 11:30.

Rating: B-. As much as I can’t stand the spear as a finisher anymore, the ending sequence was pretty freaking good with both guys hitting everything they had until Christian got the pin. That was a great false finish on the Killswitch and the fans were totally buying into Cody as a real threat after that. This was better than I was expecting and hopefully it lets Cody move on to the main event.

Usos vs. Titus O’Neal/Darren Young vs. Epico/Primo vs. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd

#1 contenders match, even though Epico and Primo already were #1 contenders. The crack production staff cuts away from Rosa dancing to show us AW giving Epico and Primo a pep talk on the pre show. Young and O’Neal are officially the Prime Time Players. That used to be my fantasy football team name so I’m liking them more and more. Booker: “They’re a little bit fruit bootyish if you know what I mean.” I think this is one fall to a finish with tags.

Titus and Jey starts things off but it’s quickly off to Young. You don’t have to tag your partner here either. Jimmy comes in quickly with a double chop for two on Darren. The Usos tag again and Epico tags himself in off a staggered Young. Jimmy hits a Bubba Bomb on Epico who tags in Justin for some reason. Justin and Jimmy hit a stalemate, followed by a Gabriel headlock.

Jey comes in and it’s the double Samoan Drop for two. Rosa yells a lot as Titus tags himself in for two on Justin. Off to Darren as Gabriel is in trouble. Justin gets in a kick but Primo tags himself in to prevent the hot tag. Epico hits a dropkick for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Apparently automatic rematch clauses expire after 30 days. Ok then. Epico hits rolling belly to back suplexes for two and it’s back to Primo.

He misses an elbow and there’s the tag to Kidd. Tyson fires off kicks and hits a suplex on Primo. Things break down a bit and the springboard elbow drop hits knees. Things break down even more and the Usos dive onto Titus and I think Epico. Young tags himself in but Tyson knocks him off the apron. In a SWEET spot, Kidd ranas Primo onto the other pile of people on the floor. Young and Primo are legal and the fireman’s carry into the gutbuster give Young and O’Neal the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C. For a bonus match, this was fine. Titus and Young are as good as a set of challengers as you can ask for right now and since there are more face teams on the roster than heels, it would make sense to give them the belts so we can have some more challengers. Decent stuff here and it’s good to see something resembling a division existing.

AW jumps ship to the winners post match. That fits him WAY better.

MITB ad, which is about Del Rio having all kinds of money. These ads featuring the wrestlers are a nice change of pace.

We recap HHH vs. Lesnar/Heyman, which is Brock Lesnar, the biggest PPV draw in the company, being used in a legal angle. And people wonder why the ratings are dropping over the summer.

Here’s HHH to address the situation, minus anything visible on his arm. He talks about how he’s spent over half of his life in the ring because he loves it and has never wanted to get a real job. Now he has a real job and it’s a corporate one. He hates having to do all of this corporate and legal stuff because he’s a fighter. That gave him an idea: Lesnar is supposed to be a fighter too, and HHH’s arm is healing. It should be healed somewhere in the middle of the summer. So how about we get rid of the lawyers and Heyman and get down to Lesnar vs. HHH, say at Summerslam? HHH wants it there and that’s it.

Bryan is in the back when AJ comes up. She says they’ve been through a lot but he says this isn’t the time. There’s still a part of her that hasn’t gotten over him but she doesn’t expect him to do anything about it. She wishes him luck and kisses him on the cheek, drawing a smile from him as AJ leaves.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla grabs Beth’s waist to start but Beth gets the rope. Beth shoves her down and basically shouts a promo at her, talking about how she’ll win the title tonight. Layla gets the headband off Beth and mocks her poses. Layla takes her down and dances as Beth gets in a fetal position. End this NOW, please. The champion goes to the apron and kicks Beth in the face, only to get sent to the floor. Back in the Glam Slam is escaped so Beth shoves her down. Beth hooks a backbreaker and bends her over the knee. Layla climbs the corner (botching at the same time) to counter the Glam Slam before hitting a cross body out of the corner for two. A powerslam gets two for Beth but her press slam is countered into a DDT for two. Layout out of nowhere gets the pin at 6:56.

Rating: D. This match was one of the worst I’ve seen in years at first and then upgraded to bad to end it. The division is rapidly reaching new levels of horrible as we had about two minutes to build this match in the course of a month. Terrible match and Layla is really lacking since she’s gotten back.

AJ goes up to Kane but doesn’t have much to say. Kane grabs her arm and kisses her which she doesn’t seem to mind.

Hunico vs. Sin Cara

These two just can’t get away from each other can they? They speed things up to start and Hunico dropkicks him down. Cara snapmares him to the floor but his suicide dive is countered by a kick to the face. Back in and Hunico chops him down in the corner followed by a slingshot dropkick. Off to a chinlock as Cara is being grounded here. The fans want Ryder as Hunico hits a powerbomb for two. Cara hits a pair of headscissors followed by some kicks and the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 5:47.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Smackdown match. Cara is getting the same treatment a lot of people get anymore with these random wins over people that don’t really matter. It keeps him on TV though which is more important than almost anything short of giving him a story. This wasn’t horrible but it couldn’t be more of a filler match if they tried.

We recap the Raw triple threat which revolves around AJ. Bryan almost beat Punk last month and demanded a rematch, so Punk said cool. Kane beat them both on Smackdown so it’s a triple threat. AJ is involved because she’s psycho and awesome and may be in love with all three of them. She’s the wildcard here.

Raw World Title: Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending of course. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Kane goes after Punk so Bryan kicks Kane. Uh….ok? Double chokeslam is broken up and they both kick the monster down. Stereo dropkicks put Kane down but they get in a fight over the cover as is the tradition in triple threats. They slug it out with Punk taking over, backdropping Bryan to the floor. A suicide dive by Punk is broken up by a Kane clothesline which gets two.

Bryan knocks Kane to the floor so Punk dives on both guys to take over. Kane stays on the floor and pulls Punk outside. He sends the champion into the barricade and uppercuts Bryan to block the knee from the apron. Kane bends Punk around the post and kicks him in the head for good measure. He sends Punk into the corner and fires off some knees to the head followed by the low dropkick for two.

Off to a bodyscissors which Punk quickly elbows his way out of. Bryan is back in and hits a running dropkick into the corner on Punk, but he jumps into the claws of Kane. Kane shrugs off a clothesline but a drop toehold sends him into the buckle. A kick sends him to the floor and it’s the small guys one on one again. Bryan goes up but gets caught by Punk. The champion loads up a superplex but Kane breaks it up. He breaks up a second attempt at one and Punk’s trunks come down for a second.

Kane tries the superplex now but Punk breaks it up. Bryan gets tired of waiting and hits a dropkick to both guys for two each. Both guys are on their knees so Bryan fires off kicks to both guys. A big kick to Kane’s head puts him down but Punk grabs a rollup for two. Kane gets in the corner and both guys take running knees. Neckbreaker gets two on Kane as Bryan makes the save. Snap powerslam gets two for Punk and he goes up for the Macho Elbow. Bryan tries a superplex but gets caught on Kane’s shoulders. Punk plays Hawk in a Doomsday Device but only gets two on Bryan.

A horrible looking Macho Elbow hits Bryan but since this isn’t Raw, it only gets two. Kane comes in before we can get the GTS and sends Punk to the apron. The champion hits a high kick but the Macho Elbow misses Kane. Bryan hits a Swan Dive on Punk for two. He low bridges Kane and knocks him to the floor but Punk rolls him up for two. A big kick to the head knocks Punk down and there’s the YES Lock. Bryan CRANKS on it but he cranks too hard, giving Punk a rollup for two ala Over the Limit.

GTS hits out of nowhere but Kane breaks up the cover. Kane comes back in with the top rope clothesline to Punk but the chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two. This time the Macho Elbow hits Kane but Punk can’t hit the GTS. Chokeslam kills Punk but it only gets two. Dang I thought that was it. Kane yells at the referee and sets up a tombstone. Punk escapes and AJ is on the apron. Kane gets sent into her and the GTS hits for Punk to retain at 18:16.

Rating: B. I was really digging this one although AJ continues to be almost a red herring. She was only there for about five seconds and Bryan was gone for the last five minutes of this. Still though, it’s good to see Punk retain as he continues his very long run as the #2 guy on Raw. Good match here though as they used Kane perfectly.

By the way that officially gives Punk the longest reign since Cena’s year long run in 06/07.

Kane carries AJ off and she has a very evil smile. Punk smiles back at her and I think something is afoot. Punk celebrates long enough that his song restarts.

Ryback vs. Dan Delaney/Rob Grymes

The jobbers say they’ll win and be in the main event of…..and they sing the Wrestlemania X song, complete with old school Mania music. I like these guys already. Double Samoan Drop, 1:30. Ryback shouted to give him three while he was holding them up. I hope that’s not what we get stuck with for the next few weeks.

The theme for Summerslam is Be A Star. Oh good grief.

The cage is lowered.

We get a LONG recap of this feud, which is basically Cena feuding with Ace because he’s the boss and Ace being somewhat corrupt. Show was brought back to keep Ace’s job so now the job is on the line again after Vince wanted to fire Ace but didn’t for some reason. Vince got “punched” in the “head” on Monday and has a concussion. If Cena loses tonight he’s fired and if Show loses Ace is fired.

Big Show vs. John Cena

You can win by pin, submission or escape. Vince and Ace are at ringside. Show shoves him down to start and then into the cage. Cena goes into the cage again but the WMD hits the wall. There’s the big chop in the corner as this has been all Show so far. Cena gets in a dropkick and goes for the door but is almost immediately pulled back. Show clotheslines him down and runs his mouth a lot.

Cena gets rammed into the cage again as this is a total squash so far. Show fires a punch into Cena’s ribs and walks around a lot. He crushes Cena in the corner and stands on the neck in front of the door. Cena FINALLY gets his feet up in the corner to slow Show down and a bulldog gets one. Cena gets up on top of the cage but Show pulls him back in. They both get on the top rope but Show gets crotched.

Instead of charging out the door as fast as he can, Cena fires off a shoulder block to ram Show into the cage. Cena climbs the cage like an idiot and gets powerbombed into the cage wall. Well he deserved that. A regular powerbomb gets two as does a Vader Bomb. Show grabs him by the throat and climbs to the top rope while still holding Cena’s neck. He picks Cena up off the mat to the top and drops him down to the mat. Seems counter productive but whatever.

Show drops an elbow off the top but Cena rolls away to prevent a bad case of death. The ring literally shook as he landed. Show tries to crawl out the door and gets his hand on the floor but Cena pulls him back in. Cena goes for the door but gets pulled back in as well. Chokeslam is countered and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Cena goes for the door but Ace knocks the referee down. Vince stops it but Ace shoves Vince into the door which goes into Cena’s head. Chokeslam gets two.

Show loads up the WMD but it hits the referee of course. AA is avoided and Show hits the WMD on Cena. Show is the only one up and there’s no referee. He goes for the door but Brodus Clay is waiting with a chair. Doesn’t that mean he’s fired now? Instead Show starts to climb and Brodus rolls his eyes before stepping two feet to the left so he’s in front of Show again.

Show is frustrated so Brodus waves out Riley and Santino, guys that Show knocked out. They get knocked down so Brodus waves out Ryder. Kofi comes out and gets to the top of the cage and knocks Show to the mat. Cena crawls towards the door but Show grabs the leg. They go back into the ring and the AA puts Big Show down. There’s no referee as Cena covers so he climbs up instead. Brodus has the door covered but Ace blocks Cena’s way out. Brodus goes over and subdues Ace so Cena can escape and win at 19:48.

Rating: C-. This had about 10 minutes of action in a nearly 20 minute match. The ending made sense and was overdone, but it was probably better than the other alternative. Cena winning was the pretty obvious choice but I can’t imagine Ace is going to be gone for more than about two weeks or so. The match wasn’t what I would call good but it was ok I guess. The laying around got REALLY boring though.

Post match Vince fires Ace and Cena gives Ace an AA through the table, because that’s just the kind of guy he is.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t what I’d call a bad show but it was pretty underwhelming. Ace getting fired is good at the moment but I can’t imagine it’ll be a lasting decision. The triple threat was by far the best match of the night but it’s clear that the injuries and suspensions are crippling these guys at the moment. Clearly the solution is to have more squash matches because we COULDN’T just bring someone else up on the roster right? Passable show but it’s nothing great at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: June 15, 2012
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show before No Way Out and most of the show is set I believe. Tonight we have a tag match between the guys in the world title matches which is a nice touch. Other than that I’m not sure what else there’s going to be, but I’d bet on there being some Johnny Ace talking time, which is some cross between hilarious and awful. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of Raw and the punch not hitting Vince in the face.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Cincinnati Reds. Those pesky people sweeping the Indians.

Here’s AJ to open the show. She says there’s a very simple reason why she kissed Kane on Raw. Before she can get it out though, here’s Vickie to interrupt her. She says that AJ isn’t the story tonight, because the story is Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler talks about yelling at Vickie and saying he’s better than this. He goes into one of his fast paced insult barrages at AJ, who responds by saying “I stopped listening about halfway through that but I guess I was supposed to be offended?” The huge smile on her face and the voice she says it with make that awesome.

AJ thinks the bleach in Ziggler’s hair has gotten into his brain if he thinks he’ll win the world title. She calls Vickie his grandma and gets slapped. AJ gets the psycho eyes going but here’s Punk to make her all smiley. He says that just because Vickie says excuse me doesn’t mean we have to. There is no excuse for Vickie because every week she comes out here and talks about Dolph Ziggler but he never comes through. If he’s the voice of the voiceless, Vickie is the voice of the pointless.

Ziggler is about to offer a rebuttal but here’s Bryan. AJ looks half scared and half angry. Bryan says Punk is a hero for having AJ make out with Kane on Monday and hiding behind him here tonight. He says AJ has Punk wrapped around her finger and she doesn’t realize it. AJ cost Bryan at Wrestlemania and if she’s in Punk’s corner on Sunday, it’ll mean Bryan wins the title.

Cue Sheamus because five people talking in this segment aren’t enough. Sheamus can’t believe Bryan still believes AJ cost him the title. He admits Ziggler had a great showing on Monday, but that means nothing on Sunday. Let’s do the tag match now. AJ charges at Vickie but Punk pulls her back. The match starts after a break.

Sheamus/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan

Bryan and Sheamus get us going and the speed attempt gets caught in a Regal Roll for two. Off to Punk who comes off the top with an elbow to the arm. Off to Ziggler and it’s time for more arm work. Sheamus works over the arm a bit and Punk hits a slingshot hilo on Dolph. A delayed vertical suplex gets two. Sheamus comes in and Ziggler literally runs to the corner for the tag.

Ziggler comes back in almost immediately and pounds Sheamus down. A knee drop gets two. Back to Bryan who walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Back to Punk for the springboard clothesline and he goes to the apron. Ziggler distracts him and Bryan knocks him off the apron. That seems to be the same sequence they’ve used to change momentum in Smackdown tag matches for weeks now.

Bryan hits the running knee of the apron and we take a break. Back with Bryan missing a swan dive and it’s a double tag to bring in Ziggler vs. Sheamus. Irish Curse gets two as Bryan makes the save. Everything breaks down but Punk and Bryan go to the floor. Zig Zag is countered and Sheamus hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but the girls come in. Ziggler uses the distraction to get a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin at 8:43 shown of 12:13.

Rating: C. This was just a regular main event style tag match. The ending was certainly the right call as they had to give us a reason to think that Ziggler has a chance on Sunday. He doesn’t but it’s nice of them to try to give us a reason to think otherwise. Punk and Bryan were barely involved in this match, but they’re all set up already anyway.

Post match the girls get in a fight and Vickie rams her into the apron before running off. AJ’s back is hurt so Kane comes out to carry her away. Punk goes after him but gets a chokeslam for his efforts. Bryan gets the same. AJ is on her knees on the stage and looks all cuckoo eyed at Kane.

Here’s Brodus Clay for a match but before the match he talks about how he can’t go near Ace’s prized possession or he’s immediately fired. That’s ok though because John Cena is going to take care of the prized possession on Sunday. All he wants now is competition, which Ace has promised him.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

Dang it and I was getting my hopes up for a second there. What a shock: something with Ace involved is a letdown. Splash finishes in 22 seconds.

Post match Brodus is about to dance when Otunga, the guy Clay is facing on the pre-show on Sunday, takes out Brodus’ knee. The leg work goes on for awhile.

Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is on commentary. Alicia takes her down to start but misses her flipping leg drop. Glam Slam ends this in 50 seconds. Yeah and this REALLY makes me want to see the Divas Title match Sunday.

John Cena says don’t try this.

Hornswoggle’s favorite Raw moment is the Muppets episode. I love the Muppets, but this is literally longer the previous two matches combined. When matches are relegated to getting 30 seconds each, maybe it’s time to cut down on stuff like this.

Now to waste more time, here’s Ace to show us a recap of the ending to Raw. As in the SAME THING WE SAW AN HOUR AGO! After wasting three minutes on that, Ace talks about how he’s put his job on the line more than once before and has always come out on top. He brings out Big Show who talks about how he can say and do whatever he wants here because he’ll get paid no matter what.

Back in WCW, he was never able to be pushed over the faces of the company like Hogan, Flair and Sting. Once he left there he came to WWF and everyone gave him advice. Vince’s advice was to put on a show, so he named him the Big Show. So for fourteen years (how is February of 1999 to June 2012 14 years? That’s bad math even for WWE) he did it Vince’s way. For 10 of those years, he cracked jokes and laughed. That statement actually made me close my eyes and shake my head from how wrong it was.

Show talks about how he’s proud to not be like Cena anymore and how he can do whatever he wants and doesn’t have to care about what the fans think. What he does to Cena will be calculated and uncomfortable. He’s looking at this sunday as his first match, where he will be victorious. He guarantees it. The two of them go to leave but Cole stops them. He says that he’s heard Cena is on his way here tonight (big pop). Show says if Cena is looking for him, he won’t be hard to find.

Christian comes out for his match so of course we have to look at a recap of his feud with Cody, as in an Over The Limit recap. The rematch is at No Way Out.

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger pounds him into the corner but Christian gets a kick into the ribs to break up the momentum. They go to the floor and Swagger runs him over with a clothesline. Back in and Jack hits a legdrop for two. An attempt at a second misses and Christian takes over again. A spear misses but the ankle lock is countered. Jumping back elbow out of the corner puts Jack down and Christian goes up. Swagger tries to run the corner but gets shoved down and the Frog Splash gets the pin at 2:47.

Ryback vs. Ari Cohen/Mike Testa

The fresh meat tell a knock knock joke before the match. What are you expecting here? Double Samoan Drop ends this at 2:03. We get it already, now find him someone we’ve actually heard of.

Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd

This is a result of the latest JR trolling by the troll last week. Sandow went after him but Kidd made the save. Damien jumps him to start, Kidd gets some offense in, the Sharpshooter is countered and the neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:02 in ANOTHER FREAKING WORTHLESS MATCH!

We run down the PPV card.

Now we see Big Show’s talk from forty minutes ago.

Cena arrives and goes into Ace’s office but it’s empty.

Don’t be a bully, but buy our PPV with a pair of bullies in the main event.

Cena FINALLY shows up to fire up the show a bit. He talks about getting a phone call saying that Big Show called him out, so here he is. Wait so why have they been hyping up the idea of Cena calling out Big Show all night if Show apparently called him out? Whatever as this show is almost over. Cena says he’s not hard to find and the Big Show shouldn’t be either, so here’s Ace to waste more of our time.

Ace says that Show has been sent home to make sure the match takes place on Sunday, as well as so we could hype up Show and Cena face to face all night and then not deliver it. Cena says that puts Ace in the #1 spot on the to be knocked out list. Ace lists his job titles and says that if Cena touches him, he’s fired. Cena points out that the match has to take place on Sunday so Ace can’t fire him. John makes fun of him even more and gets ready to beat him up but Ace tells him that if he beats Ace up, then Cena will be fired. Cena blasts him in the head and says someone gets fired on Sunday to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show was the definition of a failure. There was NOTHING on here that was any good and nothing at all was added to the PPV. Someone gets fired in the main event. So we might get the Ace firing that we’ve been promised for weeks now or another Cena firing which we’ve seen how many times now? This was a total waste of my time and one of the worst TV shows I’ve seen in a very long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: April 27, 2012
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T

It’s the last show before Extreme Rules and we’re minus a Josh Matthews here due to Lesnar killing him on Monday. We have a main event tonight of Sheamus vs. Mark Henry in a non-title match which is a rematch from Raw where Daniel Bryan cheated Sheamus with a fast count. Other than that I don’t think anything else has been announced. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is time, as I want it to be next Friday so I can see Avengers.

We see a clip of Josh’s attack from Monday.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He talks about cutting the cord and finally getting rid of AJ. He’s out here to set the record straight: the Wrestlemania loss to Sheamus doesn’t count and should go against AJ’s record, not his. Then on Monday he was asked to be guest referee in Sheamus vs. Henry. He said he’d call it right down the middle and he did. Some people are saying he fast counted Sheamus but here’s footage showing he didn’t. The count is shown in slow motion. We also get the post match attack and YES Lock.

Bryan says it’s time for a question and answer session. Did Henry beat Sheamus? YES. Did he make Sheamus tap out? YES (not that I remember). Will he get the title back on Sunday? YES. Cue Del Rio who asks a bunch of questions with Ricardo shouting SI after every one in a funny bit. Big Show comes out and wants to know if it’s YES or SI, which starts a chant. Show knocks Bryan to the floor and chokeslams Ricardo. Good chokeslam too.

Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is joined in progress after a break and I’m pretty sure is non-title. Show chops Del Rio in the corner and clubs him down with forearms. Del Rio is knocked to the floor but he drapes the arm over the ropes to take over. Show vs. Cody’s stipulation will be determined by a spin of the wheel. Show shrugs him off and spears him down. He loads up the chokeslam but Cody comes in for the DQ at 1:54.

Cody tries some weapons but Show knocks them away. He steals Cody’s belt and whips Cody with it a few times. Cody hasn’t gotten in a single successful attack or victory over Show at all since Wrestlemania.

Ace and Eve are in the back and he says that Eve can make whatever changes she thinks are good on Smackdown. Just run them by him first. Eve says she doesn’t know any of the crew people so maybe they should make them wear nametags. They run into Teddy who wants to know what his job is. Ace says Teddy reports directly to Eve, who tells him to go get a nametag.

We get a clip from the Divas Title match Monday where Nikki won it from Beth.

Damien Sandow talks about enlightenment. The fans aren’t enlightened as they worship people with nonsensical catchphrases and loud music. He debuts in a week.

Alicia Fox vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title again. The place just goes silent for this as you can hear the girls shouting at each other. Nikki throws Alicia and those hips around with a snapmare and it’s off to a modified chinlock. Alicia comes back with a one footed dropkick and basically falls off the middle rope for a back elbow. Twin Magic lets Brie hit a facejam for the pin at 1:48.

O’Neil and Young come up to Yoshi who I think they’re facing tonight. They make fun of Japanese people that put their hands together and bow while saying hai. They ask about Yoshi’s partner and imply he can’t speak English. Big Zeke comes up and says he’s the partner tonight. They sing a song about how Zeke is big and strong but doesn’t have any cuts. Where were these guys on NXT?

Teddy is now in a maid’s outfit over his suit and has a big nametag on his chest. Aksana comes in and he thanks her for sticking by him. She’s surprised he has grandchildren and here’s Ace who says Aksana’s favor has been granted: Antonio Cesar gets a tryout match tonight. If he wins, he gets a job. Eve had an idea that Aksana should be guest ring announcer. Oh and Teddy will have his own ringside commentary table to make sure we have three commentators and he starts next. Ace will tell him every word he says through a headset.

Ezekiel Jackson/Yoshi Tatsu vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Teddy is on commentary at a separate table but can’t talk unless Ace gives him the ok and the exact words in his ears. Young and Tatsu start in the corner and Young takes him down with a Hot Shot. Off to Titus as Cole berates Teddy. The heels beat on Tatsu with double teaming and on their own. Young dropkicks the knee out on Jackson while he’s on the apron and a REALLY bad modified Hart Attack out of the corner gets the pin on Yoshi at 1:50. Young missed Tatsu for the most part so it was more like a shove than a chop while Titus powerbombed him.

Here’s Cole in the ring and he brings out Orton for an interview. Cole asks about Orton’s match on Sunday and Orton says he likes to shoot first and ask questions later. He’ll be ready to do whatever it takes to beat Kane on Sunday. We get a video on their feud (long one too, like two minutes) and Orton says he can almost respect what Kane did because it’s something he’d do, but he won’t accept it. On Sunday, there are no rules so he can do whatever he wants. Kane is the devil’s favorite demon, but even the devil couldn’t so what Orton is going to do on Sunda.

Cue….Jinder Mahal? He thinks Orton and Kane will destroy each other and a new breed will emerge. Mahal says he’s better than Orton all around and that he’ll be waiting after Extreme Rules. Orton cuts him off and lays him out with an RKO. Are they really going with Mahal vs. Orton after this? Why? What has Mahal done to make them think he deserves that spot?

Kofi Kingston says don’t try this at home or school.

Tyson Kidd vs. Antonio Cesaro

Kidd doesn’t get an entrance. Cesaro’s music reminds me of Johnny B. Badd’s. Cesaro is of course Claudio Castagnoli. He has what looks like socks wrapped around his thighs. Booker: “Are those kneepads?” Cole: “No Booker. If they were kneepads they would be around his knees.” Cesaro uses a lot of power strikes and a gutwrench suplex to take Kidd over. He throws Kidd in the air and hits a European Uppercut on the way down. Cesaro sets for a cradle piledriver but falls forward ala DDP’s pancake move for the pin at 1:10.

Teddy has to go in and do something he doesn’t want to do post match. He raises Cesaro’s hand and then Cesaro kisses Aksana.

Long video on Lesnar vs. Cena, including clips from the sitdown interview and from Edge’s promo on Monday. Cena hasn’t said much in this.

Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes

This is as a result of the attack before the six man from last week. Cody is still sore from the whipping Show gave him earlier. Cody goes for the knee which doesn’t work at all. He manages to take Khali down and DDTs the knee before going up top. A missile dropkick puts Khali down for two. Back to the knee but Khali gets up and uses some clotheslines to take Cody down. Disaster Kick is caught in the Plunge….for the clean pin at 1:59. Oh good grief I’m not going to bother explaining how stupid this is.

Washington pitches to the tag champions some more and thinks Rosa should talk some more. He needs a decision by Monday though. Ryback comes up and glares at them and walks away. Washington tries to set up a meeting with him.

The Usos are watching in the back.

Jacob Kaye vs. Ryback

Kaye says that he’s not going to be another no name schnook. I like this guy already. He’s from Grand Rapids and has been trying to escape it for years now. Kaye charges at him and gets thrown down immediately. Ryback kicks his head off and chokes him with the boot. Gorilla press into a powerslam sets up the clothesline and the Muscle Buster gets the pin at 1:08. This guy is so much fun.

Video on AJ going crazy last week. She has no comment on anything but looks very evil. Kaitlyn comes up and tells Striker to leave her alone. Striker leaves and Kaitlyn tries to talk some sense into her so AJ slaps the taste out of her mouth. She immediately seems to regret it but Kaitlyn leaves. This is getting interested.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry overpowers him to start so Shemaus slows down a little bit. A headlock doesn’t work and Henry puts him down again. Sheamus goes to the knee and takes Henry down for two. He goes for the arm but Henry shoves him to the floor with ease. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder for two and we take a break. Back with Henry slamming the champ to take over.

Henry gets knocked to the apron and Sheamus hits the ten forearms which are getting cheered a lot better lately. Henry easily throws Sheamus down though and hits a HARD whip into the barricade. Back in for a quick nerve hold but Sheamus gets out. Henry hits something that looked like a crescent kick to put Sheamus down for two. Sheamus comes back with his double ax handles to the chest and down goes Henry.

A DDT gets two for the champion. He’s getting fired up now and starts to pound his chest and shouting Brogue. Probably due to shouting very loudly, Henry is able to run him over for two. A charge misses and Sheamus goes up but jumps over Henry. Brogue Kick takes Henry’s head off for the pin at 7:26 shown of 10:56.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from these two. Henry is the perfect foil for a guy like Sheamus as it looks impressive when Sheamus beats him but Henry’s power is good enough to give Sheamus a threat. Also it helps that Sheamus has a finisher that he can hit on anyone instead of a power move.

Bryan comes to the apron and Sheamus invites him down. Sheamus says this Sunday won’t be a fluke and there won’t be an AJ to blame. Will Sheamus kick Bryan’s head off and keep the title? YES! YES! YES! The chant ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show for the most part other than the Khali win. For the life of me is it a crime to make him look strong before a rematch? Anyway I liked a lot about this, including the push for the world title match and Ryback’s match, as he’s the more interesting version of someone like Tensai, minus the big win. Good show here and they pushed the PPV strong, which is the right idea.

Results
Big Show b. Albert Del Rio via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Nikki Bella b. Alicia Fox – Brie Bella pinned Fox after a facejam
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Yoshi Tatsu/Ezekiel Jackson – Double Team Powerbomb
Antonio Cesaro b. Tyson Kidd – Cradle Pancake
Great Khali b. Cody Rhodes – Punjabi Plunge
Ryback b. Jacob Kaye – Muscle Buster
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

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