So this is exactly what it is described as from the WWE Vault: a 35 minute collection of dark matches from over the years. To the best of my knowledge, there is no commentary or anything other than the action itself, which means I’m going to be VERY limited in what I can do with some of this stuff. Still though, it’s exactly the kind of fun content that you do not get elsewhere so let’s get to it.
Note that most of the dates and locations are from what I can find elsewhere and putting some pieces together so they might not be entirely perfect.
From Montreal, Quebec, Canada, July 7, 2003 before Monday Night Raw.
Pierre Carl Oulette vs. El Tornado
Oulette powers him down to start and hits an early backdrop with Tornado (who was still wrestling in 2024 but pretty much never left Canada) bailing to the floor. A neck snap across the top rope staggers Oulette but he comes out of the corner with a heck of a clothesline.
The big running flip dive to the floor misses (OUCH) and Tornado takes him back inside for a quickly broken chinlock. Oulette hits a chokeslam and sitout pumphandle slam but a bulldog out of the corner is broken up. Tornado rolls him up for two but gets caught on top, with Oulette hitting a t-bone superplex (you don’t see that very often). The Cannonball (Swanton) finishes Tornado at 4:46.
Rating: C+. This was likely either a tryout match for Oulette or just an appeal to the local fans and I’ve seen far worse. Oulette is a guy with some size who can do some crazy stuff in the ring and he had it on display here. Good stuff with Tornado being serviceable enough, but this was pretty much all about Oulette, as it should have been.
From New York City, New York, August 7, 2000 before Monday Night Raw.
Mean Street Posse vs. Low Ki/Vince Goodnight
Goodnight is an east coast guy who mostly retired in 2001 but keeps coming back every six or seven years for a few matches. The Posse jumps them to start and get sent outside, where Low Ki is right there for a huge twisting flip dive. Back in and Goodnight gets whipped into Ki to knock him off the apron, where Gas gives him a World’s Strongest Slam on the floor.
Back in and Rodney hammers away in the corner, followed by Gas hitting a spinning slam to drop him again. A Hennig necksnap keeps Ki in trouble and the Posse gets to stomp away. Gas chokes in the corner as Ki gets beaten up even more. Ki finally avoids a charge and hits a superkick, allowing the tag off to Goodnight. Everything breaks down and Ki just unloads with about twelve straight kicks to Rodney’s face. Gas hits the Gas Mask (a reverse full nelson sitout powerbomb, actually not a bad move) to pin Goodnight at 4:45 (while Rodney hits a pretty random Blockbuster on Ki).
Rating: D+. To call this a total mess would be an understatement, as you had Ki with his martial arts and flipping style being about ten years ahead of its time and Goodnight just being a guy with long hair. At the same time though, the Posse was just not good enough to be at this level and it was showing more and more every time they were in the ring. It was fun to have them as Shane McMahon’s bodyguards and lackeys, but having them try to do actual matches was just bad. Ki stood out the most of course, but that shouldn’t be anything close to a surprise.
From New York City, New York, August 1, 2006 before ECW On Sci Fi
FBI vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick
London and Kendrick’s Smackdown Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. This is from the Hammerstein Ballroom and for some reason Joey Styles and Tazz are doing commentary (I wonder if this was meant to be a DVD extra or something). Guido (whose trunks say Nunzio), who is very taped up, shakes hands with Kendrick to start things off before getting armdragged down a few times.
They go to the mat to no avail and that’s a standoff. Mamaluke comes in and London stomps on his arm, with Kendrick adding an elbow to said arm. London and Kendrick take turns on the arm as we settle down to a pretty basic style. Guido comes back in and gets dropped by a springboard high crossbody, followed by double dropkicks. We get what seems to be some miscommunication as everything breaks down and London slugs it out with Mamaluke on the floor.
Guido chinlocks Kendrick back inside, which seems like a way to get things back under control (as you’re supposed to do). Mamaluke grabs a short armscissors on Kendrick before Guido knees him in the head for two. Kendrick finally rolls away from a charge and hands it back to London to pick up the pace. The dropsault hits Guido and Mamaluke has to make the save.
Mamaluke seems to screw something up by kicking Kendrick in the face, setting up a flip dive from the apron. London’s big running flip dive COMPLETELY misses and he lands hard on the floor (Kendrick DIVES on him to make sure he’s ok) and we’re clipped to London being back inside and Kendrick hitting Sliced Bread #2, setting up a step up shooting star press to give London the pin on Guido at 9:56 shown.
Rating: C. This was a weird match with the commentary pausing at random moments and a bit less of an over the top style from Styles. That being said, it wasn’t a bad match as you had two teams who can work a pretty fast paced style. That crash landing from London was terrible and there were some other botched, but it was a match that got some time and could have been better with a few less mistakes.
From Memphis, Tennessee, September 18, 2001 before Monday Night Raw.
Kid Kash vs. Justin Credible
It’s rare to see two names against each other, even in an ECW reunion. Feeling out process to start until Kash snaps off a headscissors to send Credible outside. A twisting dive takes Credible down again and it’s weird to be stuck on the hard cam shot rather than going down to see them on the floor. Back in and Credible hits his running spinning DDT, allowing him to do his signature thing of yelling at the crowd.
Credible stomps and chokes away before grabbing the chinlock as fans are filing in and trying to find their seats. That’s broken up and Kash knocks him down before being kicked into the corner, only to come down head first with a low blow (Sting approves). Kash is back up with his own spinning DDT for two, followed by a rather crazy spinning hurricanrana from the top. Credible sidesteps a moonsault though and hits a superkick (not bad either) for the pin at 5:55.
Rating: C. I’ve never gotten the appeal of Credible and that was on full display here. There is nothing about him that makes him stand out and having him yell at the crowd over and over isn’t the best way to go. Kash was doing his usual flippy stuff and it worked well enough, but getting over Credible is a heck of a task to pull off.
From Richmond, Virginia, April 28, 1998 before Monday Night Raw.
Steve Williams vs. Scorpio
This could be interesting. Williams shoves him down without much trouble to start (shocking I know) and then wrestles him down, with Scorpio bailing over to the ropes. Back up and Williams slowly hammers away but does stop to block a hiptoss attempt. Scorpio gets caught in a gorilla press (and looks terrified) and sent outside as this is domination so far. Back in and Scorpio gets in a few shots but Williams calmly punches him out of the air in a so simple it’s awesome counter.
The seated crossarm choke goes on for a good while but Scorpio finally gets out and chops away. A knee lift sends Williams into the corner and he misses a charge, allowing Scorpio to get a belly to back suplex. Scorpio hits a top rope forearm to the head for two and a running spinning kick gets the same. A handspring clothesline in the corner drops Williams but he’s back up to pull a moonsault out of the air. Williams’ powerslam gets two but Scorpio flips onto him for two of his own. Williams hits a spinebuster and some three point shoulders, followed by a belly to back suplex for the pin at 9:17.
Rating: C-. This was ok but it went on far too long. Eventually Williams looked like he was running out of things to do. It didn’t help that Scorpio was mostly beaten up for such a long stretch as it turned into waiting for the match to end already. Nothing much to see here, which is a shame as the talent involved could have made it good.
Overall Rating: C. Maybe it was due to having fun with the squash match collection, but this was pretty disappointing. Not only was there nothing overly notable, but none of the matches were anything worth seeing. There are some good dark matches out there, but this was just a bunch of random stuff and it was only so interesting. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it didn’t quite hit.
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ECW House Show
Date: June 24, 2006
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
So this is another hidden gem from the WWE Vault and in this case we have a house show from just after the brand was brought back. It’s not a complete show, but there should be something worth seeing on a show like this. If nothing else, it should be interesting to see what happened when WWE still cared about ECW. Let’s get to it.
We open with some fans in the parking lot being VERY happy that ECW is back.
Little Guido shows us where things started and says he has gone from Guido to Nunzio to Guido again. Seeing the fans wrapped around the building have brought back memories to him and now he hopes they can give the fans what they want.
Some fans and wrestlers talk about their favorite moments and wrestlers.
Paul Heyman barely recognizes the inside of the renovated arena.
Francine is excited.
Kelly Kelly isn’t sure what to expect.
Big Show has heard horror stories about this place but no, he isn’t scared.
FBI vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill
So there are no introductions and this is shot on a handheld camera so I’m going to assume clipping will be involved. Roadkill tosses Mamaluke down to start but gets caught with a headlock takeover. An armbar doesn’t work very well for Mamaluke but he avoids a sitdown splash, setting up the double basement dropkick. We’re clipped to Doring coming in to slap Mamaluke and a clothesline gets two.
We’re clipped (maybe) to Roadkill hitting a Vader Bomb for two before we’re clipped to Nunzio hitting a tornado DDT. The Sicilian Slice gets two but a Hart Attack takes Nunzio down. We’re clipped to Mamaluke hitting a dive to the floor, followed by Roadkill hitting one of his own (his is bigger). Back in and Mamaluke hits a top rope DDT to pin Roadkill (the camera is looking at the crowd for the pin) at 3:50 shown. I’ll pass on the rating due to the clipping but this was a smart way to open the show, with the fans clearly way into everything and having a good time.
CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards
From what I can tell, other than a one off dark match a few months earlier, this is Punk’s main roster debut. Punk grabs a headlock to start before running him over to set up another headlock. We’re clipped to Punk chopping away in the corner and tying him up in the ropes for some choking. We’re clipped again to Punk being sent to the apron and flipping into a knee to the back.
We’re clipped again to Punk fighting out of a chinlock and hitting the leg lariat into a butterfly backbreaker for two more. The Stevie Kick gets two but Punk strikes away and grabs the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap at 2:44 shown. There might have been more clipping in the middle, which is a bit surprising as these two should be capable of having a good match.
Post match the fans give them some nice applause and we get a handshake.
At this point, Francine won a bikini contest over Kelly Kelly and Trinity, which doesn’t air here for obvious reasons.
Mike Knox vs. Balls Mahoney
Joined in progress with Knox working on the arm. They go outside with Mahoney hammering away but getting stomped back inside. The fans decide they want New Jack and we’re clipped to Knox sending him face first into a chair in the corner. The fans don’t think Knox can wrestle but we’re clipped again to Mahoney hitting a superplex.
We’re clipped again to Mahoney hammering away and hitting the Nutcracker Sweet for two, with the camera again cutting away on the cover. We’re clipped again to Knox hitting a superplex and we’re clipped yet again to the referee telling Mahoney he can’t use a chair. Then Knox rolls him up for the pin at 2:23 shown of what looked to be a less than thrilling match. They were doing some moves but Knox was so dull at this point and that was on display here.
Sabu vs. CW Anderson
Sabu takes him down by the leg to start and goes for the camel clutch and we’re clipped to Sabu sending him outside for a chair to the head. A table is set up but Anderson gets in a chair shot to the arm. We’re cut to the chair being set up in the corner but Sabu knocks him down again. We’re clipped again to Sabu hitting the super Arabian press through the table for the pin at 2:23 shown. Well they had to get Sabu on there.
Sandman vs. Justin Credible
Dueling Singapore Canes. Sandman canes him down to start and we’re clipped to Credible hung over the top rope for a top rope Fameasser. We’re clipped to Credible getting in some cane shots but crotching himself against the post. Credible gets in a superkick but walks into a DDT. We’re clipped to Sandman shrugging off a cane shot and hitting the White Russian Legsweep for the pin at 1:01 shown. Apparently he match ran less than three minutes total….and they had to edit it on here?
Fans: “THIS SHOW SUCKS!” Wow that actually made the release?
Here is Paul Heyman for a chat and the fans are happy again. Heyman hugs Hat Guy and the fans want a shoot but then stop for another THIS SHOW SUCKS chant. It’s hard to understand what he’s saying to start but then he says some of the music sucks. Heyman says this is their first house show in this sacred hall and now it’s a THANK YOU PAUL chant. He gives a quick tribute to Ted Petty and talks about some people who can’t be here (Heyman: “Yes, AND NEW JACK TOO!”).
After yelling at a fan for talking too much (and for being a John Cena fan), Heyman talks about how there is someone here who gave everything for ECW. The fans chant for Tommy Dreamer and Heyman introduces him for a chat of his own. Dreamer talks about how one of his daughters got hurt earlier today and had to be taken to the hospital. Dreamer: “She was no selling it because she’s hardcore too.”
Once he found out his daughter was ok, Dreamer’s wife sent him to the show because he needed to be here. These people are a family and Dreamer says it is great to be home. He may never have wrestled at Wrestlemania but he has main evented in the ECW Arena. With that, he calls out the Big Show for a fight and that isn’t a good idea.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Big Show
Dreamer hammers away to start and is shoved down just as fast. We’re clipped to Dreamer getting crotched on the barricade and then again to Dreamer ramming him into the wall. Another clip (How long is this match?) takes us to Dreamer hitting him with a bunch of weapons and grabbing a DDT for two. We’re clipped again to Show chokeslamming him through a table for the win at 2:58. The whole match was about ten minutes and they couldn’t even show half of it?
ECW World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam
Van Dam (with two belts) is defending and Dean Malenko is the guest referee. Angle powers him into the corner to start but Van Dam shrugs it off. We’re clipped to Van Dam getting two off a rollup and we’re clipped again to them fighting on the floor (They made sure to show us a rollup?). Van Dam whips him into thee barricade and hits the spinwheel kick off the apron.
Angle is right back up with an overhead belly to belly and we’re clipped to him hitting another inside. A bunch of clips take us through Angle choking and Van Dam fighting up and making a comeback, including the split legged moonsault for two. We’re clipped to Van Dam hitting the top rope kick to the face and we’re clipped again to Angle grabbing a German suplex.
We’re clipped again to Van Dam countering an Angle Slam into a DDT and we’re clipped again to Van Dam doing various things to a chair (with EVEN MORE clipping). A gordbuster onto the chair sets up the Angle Slam for two and we’re clipped to Van Dam hitting Rolling Thunder.
The Five Star is countered with Angle running the corner for the belly to belly superplex for two and we’re clipped to the ankle lock keeping Van Dam in trouble. A chair to the head gets Van Dam out of trouble and we’re clipped to Angle’s chair shot hitting the rope and bouncing into his own head. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to retain the title at 7:03 (out of almost seventeen minutes the match apparently ran).
Rating: B-. It’s hard to say how good this was when we didn’t even see half of it but you can imagine that these two had a rather impressive match if given the chance. Angle was the biggest WWE name to be part of the new ECW so he almost had to be Van Dam’s first opponent, but that wasn’t going to last very long. For now though, pretty good main event but the show was a disaster anyway and this wasn’t going to save it. Malenko was a completely non-factor here.
Van Dam gets his belts and celebrates with the fans, who want a speech. He’s really happy to be champion and that ECW is back. We hit the catchphrase to wrap it up.
Some fans are very happy after the show to wrap it up.
Overall Rating: C-. I get why this was aired, but my goodness it’s a sad thing to see. I was never a big ECW fan and even I thought this was a pathetic version of what ECW was supposed to be. I’m sure the fans were glad to see some of these people and you could feel the emotion, but there are seven matches on the card and only two of them break ten minutes. There was barely any hardcore stuff going on until the last few matches and nothing stood out as interesting.
In other words, it felt like the WWE version of ECW and that is not something that was overly interesting. ECW worked because it wasn’t WWE and trying to tie the two things together isn’t a great idea. This show wasn’t so much bad as much as it was embarrassing and sad, which are worse for something that is going to be built around nostalgia and emotion. It’s a VERY cool thing to get to see, but it’s also a great illustration of why the whole thing fell apart so fast.
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ECW on Sci Fi – August 15, 2006: Not Indicative Of Their Future Endeavors
ECW on Sci Fi Date: August 15, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz
It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we need a title match set. In this case that is likely to mean something involving Sabu, Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam, the latter of whom returned last week to interfere and break up a #1 contenders match between the others. Other than that, expect the ECW Originals to look really pathetic. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Van Dam returning last week and taking out Sabu and Angle.
Paul Heyman, with Big Show, announces that Angle has suffered a torn groin muscle and will not be wrestling in tonight’s triple threat #1 contenders ladder match. Instead it will be Sabu vs. Van Dam and it will be EXTREME. And that, unless he has an interview or pre-taped segment, is the last we’ll see of Angle in WWE for over ten years.
Opening sequence.
Here is Mick Foley as our designated guest star of the week. Foley talks about Ric Flair being invited to come here tonight but Flair seems to have turned down the offer. With Flair not here, Foley has the chance to talk about Flair’s accusations that Foley was nothing until he fell off the Cell. Foley remembers it differently, because he was thrown off and put on a stretcher but he wasn’t quitting because he would have thought less of himself.
What Flair has never understood, Foley’s career is built around being able to look in the mirror. Foley is doing that on Monday morning and as busted open as he will be, he is going to like what he sees. Foley may be a bestselling author, but the words I-Q-U-I-T are not in his vocabulary. Since there is no Flair here though, Foley has some guests tonight.
First up is Kelly Kelly, followed by Melina. It’s time to do something Foley has never done before: a three way dance! This goes as well as you would expect, including Flair running in to go after Foley and send him into the steps. Foley is bleeding from his mouth as Flair chokes him with his belt. Flair swears the Foley will quit at Summerslam before walking away. They were both feeling it here.
Shannon Moore tells us to question authority.
CM Punk vs. Justin Credible
Credible actually gets an inset promo, promising to prove that Punk’s debut win was just a fluke. The fans are WAY into Punk and he strikes Credible down in a hurry to start. A running clothesline in the corner connects, followed by a running knee. Credible counters a spinning high crossbody into a gutbuster but Punk slips out of a suplex. The running knee in the corner sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the pin. This would be it for Credible, as the Originals lose another, meaning nothing is really going to change.
Video on Rob Van Dam.
Rob Van Dam is sitting on a ladder, where he talks about wanting the ECW Title back. Nothing is going to stop him, no matter how homicidal, suicidal or genocidal. Then he’s going on to Summerslam to take the ECW Title from Big Show.
Rene Dupree says he’s a beautiful man, but now he is going to prove that he’s hardcore.
FBI vs. Mike Knox/Test
Kelly Kelly is here with the non-Italians. Knox takes Nunzio into the corner and slams him down without much effort. The stomping is on and it’s off to Test for a backbreaker into a side slam. Mamaluke comes in so Test kicks Guido in the face and TKOs Mamaluke for the pin. Total squash.
Post match Tommy Dreamer and Sandman run in to clear the ring. Knox hides behind Kelly that’s what he does.
Video on Sabu.
Sabu is ready for Big Show and will sacrifice anything to win.
Heyman is giving Big Show a pep talk when Kurt Angle runs in to go after both of them. Security takes him down and Angle is handcuffed and arrested. Show wants to press charges. So I’m guessing that’s it for him.
Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam
Ladder match with the winner facing Big Show for the title on Sunday. Sabu doesn’t look thrilled with the fans grabbing at him on the way in but he dives at Van Dam’s leg to start. We get a wide shot of the contract and the lights in the arena are really low despite a decent crowd. Either they’re focusing on the ring more so than usual or no one showed up for ECW. Rob kicks away but gets crotched on top.
In something that makes sense for Van Dam, he tried to jump from the top to grab the contract. It doesn’t work of course, but points for trying something different. Sabu clotheslines him to the floor but Rob is right back with a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his face. Back from a break with Sabu sending him face first into the ladder and driving him into the ladder again with the Arabian facebuster. Rob shoves the ladder over though and then drops Sabu onto it, setting up the spinning legdrop.
The ladder is monkey flipped onto Sabu to put them both down but Rolling Thunder only hits ladder. There’s the Triple Jump Moonsault but the Atomic Arabian Facebuster only hits ladder. Rob gets pulled off the ladder but he kicks Sabu down and hits a quick Five Star. That means Van Dam can go up but here’s Big Show to put him through a table. Show orders the contract down so Sabu dives onto show and pulls it down for the win.
Rating: C. The ending wasn’t exactly in doubt here as they had built up Sabu for weeks, but Van Dam is the kind of person who could get into a major title match at the drop of a hat. They also did a nice job of throwing in a fresh ending, which is so rare in a ladder match. It was smart to put Sabu in a match like this to protect him and I’d assume that is going to be the same on Sunday.
Show destroys Sabu again to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This was a bit better show than in recent weeks, mainly because one of the ECW people actually won something for a change. You can see the writing on the wall (it’s in REALLY big letters) around here though as ECW is going under in a hurry. Van Dam, Sabu and maybe Dreamer are about all the original brand has to offer and I’m not sure how much longer they are going to matter anyway. Not a terrible show here, but that feels like a rarity instead of a good sign for the future.
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ECW on Sci Fi – August 1, 2006 (2021 Redo): The Debut, The Return And The Oof
ECW on Sci Fi Date: August 1, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz
ECW is back in their secondary home and that could make for an interesting (ahem) night as the main event is Big Show defending the ECW World Title against Batista. I’m sure this will not go badly in any way shape or form. Other than that, Kurt Angle is back after a few weeks off so maybe he can make up the gap a bit. Let’s get to it.
Extreme Rules and Kelly Kelly is here with Test and Knox. Dreamer and Knox start things off with Dreamer going for an armbar. Everything breaks down in about three seconds and the big brawl is on. Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade, leaving Sandman to get double teamed back inside. That doesn’t last long though as Dreamer is back in with a DDT while Sandman grabs the White Russian legsweep for the double knockdown.
It’s time to bring in some weapons and the fans are rather….not pleased actually as they want tables. You give ECW fans what they want so here’s a barbed wire board in the corner. Test uses a kendo stick to save Knox from a double suplex through the board so Dreamer trashcans him in the head.
Knox hides behind Kelly on the floor so Sandman throws Kelly inside, to the bloody Dreamer. A spanking ensues but here are Paul Heyman’s riot guards to take Dreamer out. Heyman shows up too and orders the guards to put Dreamer through the barbed wire board. Test shoves him through it again and adds the TKO for the pin.
Rating: C-. This started off feeling more like an ECW match and then it turned into WWECW in a hurry, with Test and Knox going over thanks to the screwy evil boss. That’s not exactly the kind of thing that the ECW fans are going to like, but they certainly did seem to be furious at Heyman. It’s better than nothing, but Test and Knox aren’t quite the definition of top stars.
Post break Heyman and the squad are at catering where no one will look at them. Heyman runs into Sabu though, meaning it’s another speech about how Big Show can’t be put through a match with Sabu. Threats of violence are implied but Sabu glares at Heyman anyway.
CM Punk talks about unleashing his passion during the battle.
CM Punk vs. Justin Credible
Well this is historic, and the fans are VERY happy to see Punk. Credible gets taken down into a front facelock to start and Punk wraps him up in a choke around the ropes. Some rolling suplexes get two on Punk and we hit the half crab. That’s broken up as well and Punk hits the springboard clothesline for his own two. Punk strikes away and grabs an unnamed arm trap choke for the tap.
Rating: C. Credible got in some offense here but in the end he got beaten up like he was CM Punk in the UFC. Punk looked good here and while the crowd reaction helped, he felt like someone ready to become a breakout star. It’s one of those things where you can feel the star power no matter what he is doing and it showed during his match.
Video on Batista.
Shannon Moore is on the subway.
Here’s the Brooklyn Brawler to talk about how he is too extreme for Raw or Smackdown. He is going to be ECW World Champion, but then he gets cut off.
Kurt Angle vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Ankle lock finishes in just over a minute in a vintage Brawler performance.
Video on Big Show.
Ariel and Kevin Thorn (named for the first time) promise to take ECW’s blood.
ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Batista
Batista is challenging, but the fans chant for RVD before his entrance. Oh yeah this is going to be a rough one. Show gives Batista a weird look as he heads to the ring, with Batista arguing with a fan on the way. There are a lot of middle fingers at Batista and it gets even worse when he poses. Show doesn’t get much better of a reception and the YOU BOTH SUCK chant starts at the bell. Batista slugs away in the corner and knocks Show outside as we take a break.
Back (I believe with footage from the commercial) with a BORING chant, prompting Show to shout a loud (and uncensored “F*** YOU!” to the fans. The crowd shifts to a SABU chant, so Show grabs the mic and says he’s the champ and there’s nothing the people can do about it. Now it’s back to the BORING chant, what sounds like SHOW IS FAT, and then RVD, all while Show walks around on the floor. Batista finally goes outside and gets superkicked down but the fans don’t care again.
We come back to the regular feed (ah that’s why there was no commentary) and come back with a SAME OLD S*** chant. Batista elbows his way out of the chokeslam attempt but getting knocked down again. Fans: “CHANGE THE CHANNEL!” Even commentary has no idea what to say to this, with Joey saying if anyone belongs on Sci Fi, it’s Big Show. Batista catches him on the ropes with a suplex, drawing more booing.
The clothesline comeback doesn’t work so Batista hits a spear for two. The fans find this BORING again and the chokeslam for two doesn’t make it much better. A spinebuster gets Batista out of trouble but the Batista Bomb is countered into an Air Raid Crash for two. With nothing else working, Show finally just hits Batista with the belt for the DQ.
Rating: F. There is a lot to go through here as you can blame just about everyone involved with the whole thing. First of all, WWE should have known that this wasn’t going to work with these people in front of this audience. I say should have because WWE hasn’t quite known what to do with ECW since the beginning so I’m not surprised.
Then you have the fans, who were just not having any of this. The fans did not want to see this match and let WWE know about it. It’s not their fault that they were led to believe (by the ECW letters) that they were getting one thing and then getting another. This is not what they wanted to see and they let WWE know, as the match could have been Flair vs. Steamboat and gotten the same reception.
Finally there are the wrestlers, who were left in an unwinnable situation. At the end of the day, there was nothing they could do to make it work and that was obvious during their entrances. It also didn’t help that Batista had no idea how to respond to something like this and was completely lost, ultimately reverting to his usual stuff. Show at least played to the crowd a bit, but they were probably right to just cut the cord and go home when they did.
All in all, this was a complete disaster and I’m not a bit surprised, as everyone involved either missed the point or did not want to do this in the first place. It doesn’t help that the match was barely anything of note, and hopefully this wraps up the guest stars experiment, as it was only so good in the first place and now you can see just how bad it can be.
Post match Sabu comes in to pelt a chair at Show’s head and hit the Arabian Facebuster. A dropkick into a chair into Show’s head knocks him off the apron and through the table to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was all about the fans and that made for a rather weird show. The opener wasn’t good and the main event was an all time mess, but the two matches in the middle (combining to last about five minutes) worked well and were the kind of thing the crowd wanted to see. Hopefully this is the kind of show that changes things going forward, because even though this was a show in New York, you can’t risk a crowd treating your show like that again.
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ECW on Sci Fi – July 25, 2006 (2020 Redo): They Need Something New
ECW on Sci Fi Date: July 25, 2006
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz
Things continue to just kind of exist around here and that’s not the best place to be. I’m not sure how long they can keep going with Big Show defending against various people, but that’s about all they have at the moment. Hopefully the latest guest star works though because that’s all they have. Let’s get to it.
Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly (officially with two names) are in the ring to start and we get a highlight package of Kelly’s Exposes. Knox says she can never take her clothes off in public again and we see Kelly getting caned in the head last week. That was absolutely Sandman’s fault and Knox left to get her medical held. Now it’s time for some revenge.
Sandman vs. Mike Knox
Joey calls Sandman a blue collar beer drinking character. Knox pounds away to start and hits some right hands on the mat, only to get caught with the White Russian legsweep. The Singapore cane is brought in so Knox hides behind Kelly, only to have Test come in to jump Sandman for the fast DQ.
The TKO leaves Sandman laying and Test leaves with Knox and an annoyed Kelly.
Post break, Test and Knox are rather pleased but Tommy Dreamer jumps them with a trashcan.
Sabu wants an ECW Title match but Paul Heyman won’t let it happen because it’s too dangerous. Actually Sabu being here is too dangerous, so he has the night off. Heyman turns and accuses Little Guido of talking about him, so the security jumps him. Guido is done, so security has him taken to the ring for his match.
CM Punk talks about growing up in Chicago and seeing a lot of people come and go. He debuts next week.
Vampire vs. Little Guido
Ariel is in the unnamed vampires’s (oh sorry: follower of vampirism) corner. The mostly done Guido tries to fight back but gets kicked down, setting up a fireman’s carry Stunner off the ropes. A Razor’s Edge finishes Guido.
Video on Kane, who is challenging Big Show tonight.
Shannon Moore is still coming.
Justin Credible vs. Balls Mahoney
Mahoney pounds away to start and they head outside with the beatdown continuing. Back in and Justin scores with a legdrop into a northern lights suplex for two. We hit the chinclock, followed by the chinlock with a knee in the back. A belly to back suplex gets Mahoney out of trouble and the snap jabs put Credible down. The BORING chants are on, even as Justin misses a baseball slide into the post. The baseball slide only hits post but Justin gets in a shot of his own and heads outside for a chair. Mahoney takes it away and hits Justin for the DQ.
Rating: D-. And that’s why this version of ECW is never going to work. They had a bad match on their own with no extreme rules, and without extreme rules, there is nothing to make these two worth watching. Credible was always bland in the ring and Mahoney only worked in the hardcore stuff. Therefore, giving them six minute and leaving them hanging out there was a horrible plan and it is no surprise that this was a disaster.
Post match Mahoney chairs the referee too.
Big Show tells Paul Heyman to bring on the challengers but Heyman tells him to focus on Kane tonight.
We get a tale of the tape for Kane vs. Big Show and Kane’s hometown is listed as Death Valley. When was he EVER listed as being from anywhere?
Video on Sabu.
Kurt Angle is back next week.
ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Kane
Show is defending and it’s Extreme Rules. They shove each other around to start and Show tosses him to the floor. Kane manages to post him and pulls out some tables and chairs. Show knocks him down though and we take a break. Back with Show hitting the chop against the ropes and then sending him head first into a chair in the corner.
A Vader Bomb is broken up with a low blow and Kane hits a belly to back superplex for a double knockdown. They slug it out from their knees until Kane sends him into the corner for a running clothesline. Show hits a quick chokeslam for two and heads to the floor to set up a pair of tables.
That takes too long though and Kane chairs him off the apron through the tables. Cue Heyman to talk to Show until Kane throws (the now bleeding) Show back inside. Kane’s top rope clothesline is pulled out of the air for another chokeslam but Kane reverses into a DDT. Heyman pulls the referee out though, allowing Show to chair Kane down. Another chokeslam onto the chair retains the title.
Rating: C+. That’s probably the best of the guest star matches so far and I can’t say I’m surprised. Kane is good with the violence and these two beating on each other is a fine way to spend fifteen minutes. Maybe it’s just due to how lame the rest of the show was, but at least it worked out fine for a TV main event without much drama.
Post match here’s Sabu to dropkick a chair into Show’s face. Heyman looks worried and annoyed to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped but this show was really lacking badly. You can only get so far when one match on the show matters and even that was only so good. The show just did not work and if they don’t come up with something better than “Big Show vs. this guy”, it’s going to get worse in a hurry. Sabu s pretty much the only ECW original worth a title shot at the moment, so hopefully things can pick up a bit in the next few weeks.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
ECW on Sci Fi Date: July 11, 2006
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz
We’re officially into a new era around here as Rob Van Dam has lost the ECW World Title to Big Show thanks to a screwy finish/the need to get the title off of him due to his arrest. Big Show already has his first challenger lined up too, as Ric Flair is this week’s guest star. This could go in a lot of ways so let’s get to it.
We open with a look back at Big Show winning the title last week when Paul Heyman turned on Rob Van Dam.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Heyman for an opening chat. Last week he made sure Van Dam lost the title and it’s all the fans’ fault. The people here are the reason he is no longer the champion and the reason why Van Dam has been suspended for thirty days. Heyman tried to convince Van Dam to calm down a bit and not defend the title so much, but the RVD chants drove him even further.
That drove Heyman to end it all and now he is a martyr. He sacrificed his friendship with Van Dam for these people and he will be your messiah. Heyman will lead his children to the promised land and you’re all coming with him. This felt rather forced, probably because that’s exactly what it was.
Post break, Tommy Dreamer runs into Heyman, now with armed riot guards. Heyman has no time to explain, because Dreamer’s match is next, despite the fact that he is in street clothes.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Test
Dreamer slugs away to start and it’s a Cactus Clothesline to take them to the floor. Back in and Test hits a running clothesline in the corner as the cockiness starts early. Dreamer gets the knee up in the corner though and grabs a neckbreaker. The DDT is countered into a full nelson slam but Test misses the top rope elbow. Dreamer manages to get him up in the Death Valley Driver but Test slips down and grabs a rollup (plus the rope) for the pin.
Rating: D+. I got what they were going for here but having Test win via rollup wasn’t exactly making Dreamer look like he was in serious trouble. Granted it’s Test so he isn’t the best choice to go with something even slightly complicated, but how hard is it to have Dreamer get in a little offense and then get squashed? Fine idea and poor execution, which could apply to a lot of things around here.
Candice Michelle gets dressed when Kelly comes in. Candice promises to take the dancing to the extreme and gets very close to Kelly’s face.
Ariel the Tarot Card Reader says the future holds blood and spits blood at the camera.
Kelly and Candice Michelle have their expose and of course here’s Mike Knox with the towel. This time Sandman pops up to cane Knox off the stage.
CM Punk says his tattoos tell a story, like DRUG FREE and HONOR. He’s fighting against the system.
Sabu vs. Justin Credible
This is under normal rules for reasons of general stupidity. Sabu takes him down to start so Justin heads outside to grab a table. That earns him a big running flip dive so Sabu sets up the (partially broken) table at ringside. Credible comes outside and is promptly put on the table for the Arabian Facebuster and the DQ. Well that was pointless.
Balls Mahoney says he’s always ready to fight.
Ric Flair says he’s coming for his 17th World Title tonight but he also needs to talk about Mick Foley. If Foley wants to be a man, he can face Flair in a match of Foley’s choice. As for Show, Flair is coming for the title and will take advantage of any mistake Show makes.
Shannon Moore, now with spiked hair, tattoos and piercings, is coming.
ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Ric Flair
Show is defending and this is under Extreme Rules. They circle each other a bit until Show sends him into the corner with the straight power. Flair bails to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Flair being gorilla pressed and headbutted as the dominance is on early. Flair is already busted open and another headbutt makes it even worse. Show tosses him outside so it’s time to bring in the weapons but Show sends Flair back inside before they can be used.
A suplex drops Flair, who tells Show to bring it on anyway. That means another headbutt into a powerslam but Flair scores with some low blows. Some low kicks have Show down again and now it’s time for the weapons. Flair doesn’t waste time in going with the barbed wire baseball bat to gouge Show’s head open. Some trashcan and chair shots put Show down….for two, as he launches Flair off on the kickout. Now it’s thumbtacks time and some chair shots to the head knock Show into said tacks. That just angers Show, who hits a chokeslam and the cobra clutch backbreaker retains.
Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of this one as people remember it as Flair being this big pin cushion, but that’s really just a quick burst. The match runs about thirteen and a half minutes and the violence doesn’t come into play until about eight or nine minutes in. Yeah Flair bleeds like a pig at the start but he does that when he goes to the grocery store. The barbed wire bat and tacks are a bit much, but they’re really not that big of a part of the match.
That being said, the match isn’t all that good as it’s Show squashing him, Flair getting in a few weapons shots, and then Show finishing him off. Bad match, but not as bad as people remember, especially when it ties into Flair wanting to go extreme with Foley, and perhaps finding out that he’s in over his head.
Post match Show throws him into the tacks. Flair is helped out and we get a THANK YOU FLAIR chant to end the show. This part, with Flair barely able to walk and being rather bloody is probably the reason this match is somewhat infamous, as he looks pretty bad.
Overall Rating: D+. This series is reaching the point of dead on arrival, as any spark that it had is long gone, with “Ric Flair Goes EXTREME” not being much of a calling card. The first problem is the main event stuff, which would be the upper midcard on Raw at its very best. That doesn’t exactly make me want to stick around, but it’s certainly better than EVERYTHING else, which feels as worthless as you can get. Test beating Tommy Dreamer, a vampire, and Sabu in a regular match. If that’s as good as they have here, they have more troubles than they can solve.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Wrestling Society X – January 30, 2006 (Debut Episode): In Case XPW Wasn’t Bad Enough
IMG Credit: WWE
Wrestling Society X Date: January 30, 2006 Location: WSX Bunker, Los Angeles, California Commentators: Bret Ernst, Kris Kloss
Thanks a lot people. This is what I get for agreeing to do almost any show ever. Wrestling Society X was a short lived (as in ten half hour episodes) concept of an underground wrestling organization that wrestled in a bunker (kind of a forerunner to Lucha Underground) but also tied in musical acts. The gimmicks were insane to the point where the show was taken off the air for being too insane. This is a one off as I have no desire to ever do more than a single episode. Let’s get to it.
The announcers welcome us to the show and hype up the WSX Rumble for the right to fight of the WSX Title next week.
Matt Sydal vs. Jack Evans
Yeah you see some big names in here. The ring announcer is one of those guys who feels the need to shout EVERY SINGLE WORD. Sydal has Lizzy Valentine (an indy wrestler) in his corner. Black Label Society’s Zakk Wylde is on commentary to tie into the music concept. Sydal kicks him away to start as the announcers explain how wrestling works. Wylde panics over the idea of someone being sent to the floor and a big flip dive drops Evans again.
We get the required discussion of how hot Lizzie is and Sydal kicks him in the face for two. A Gory Stretch with Sydal leaning Evans down and pulling on his head for good measure looks rather impressive but Jack slips out and kicks him down. The cartwheel into a flip dive drops Sydal again so Sydal comes back with a pumphandle driver (inverted powerbomb according tot he annoying announcers) for two. Lizzy grabs the foot and gets dragged inside, allowing Evans to hit a tornado DDT into the 630 for the pin at 3:21.
Rating: C. Nice high flying match here (typical indy style but not bad) but the commentary was rather annoying. Wylde was losing it for every move and didn’t exactly come off as anything but a guy watching wrestling for the first time. If you don’t hype up what he does, what’s the point in tying him in to a wrestling show? But yeah, Sydal looked good here, as you would expect.
Video on some tag teams coming to WSX:
Doin It For Her (Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black, the latter of whom is better known as Seth Rollins)
Trailer Park Boyz (Nate Webb and Josh Evans)
And that’s it. Ok then.
Justin Credible is ready to have his night.
New Jack promises to beat Hamrick up.
Teddy Hart is the past, present and future of wrestling.
Kaos (nobody) and Aguliera are focused.
We go over the rules for the Rumble, which has 45 second intervals, over the top eliminations, and tables, live electrical wires and an EXPLODING STEEL CAGE at ringside. Oh and despite there being over the top rope eliminations, you have to pull down contracts above the ring to win, with the two winners facing off for the title next week.
Ring announcers: “AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLEEEEEEETY DIFFERENT!”
WSX Rumble
Justin Credible is in at #1 (of ten) and Teddy Hart is in at #2. Hart throws a bottle at him and scores with a dropkick to start. That earns him a superkick and a crotch chop as the announcers hype up the explosives. A springboard moonsault takes Credible down and it’s Kaos in at #3. Hart and Credible double team him, which Wylde doesn’t understand. A shooting star press/backbreaker combination drops Kaos again and here’s Vampiro (billed as a WCW Champion, which is true but misleading as he was a one time Tag Team Champion) in at #4 to clean house.
Back from a break with Puma (the future TJP) having come in at #5 and been eliminated almost immediately, plus Alkatrazz in at #6. That goes nowhere so 6-Pac (X-Pac of course) is in at #7. X-Factors abound as Sydal calls 6-Pac a gentleman and it’s Hamrick (a southern guy) is in at #8, wearing street clothes because New Jack is chasing him around. New Jack comes in (I believe at #9 but he might just be here) and knocks Hamrick through a table for the elimination.
New Jack is eliminated for some reason so he comes back in with the guitar and breaks it over the referee’s head, freaking Wylde out even more. Vampiro powerslams Kaos as New Jack beats Hamrick up a bit more. Cue Luke Hawx to suplex Kaos into the wire for an elimination, right before New Jack dives onto Hamrick to put him through a table. Youth Suicide completes the field at #10 in his first professional match. Hart is tossed out and we have ladders now, though I’m not sure if eliminations are still a possibility.
We’re down to Credible, Vampiro, 6-Pac and Youth Suicide as Alkatrazz was eliminated somewhere around the explosion. Suicide goes up but gets powerbombed onto some tacks so 6-Pac gets the first contract. Wylde goes to ringside as Suicide goes up, only to have Credible shove him into the exploding cage. Credible and Vampiro go up with Vampiro winning a really lame slugout and pulling down the other contract for the win at 12:17.
Rating: F. WOW. I actually sat there for a second with my jaw hanging open at how horrible this was. This was the same nonsense where someone looked at ECW without realizing what made it work (as much as it did work) in the first place and thinking they could do any of this stuff. Just complete garbage here going for shock value instead of any kind of skill, which isn’t exactly surprising given the concept of the show.
The show is off the air less than three seconds after the match ends.
Overall Rating: F. This show ran 19:18 and I feel like I’ve wasted that much of my time. The opener was watchable at best but this was terrible overall, with the “names” not exactly putting in effort and a main event concept there for shock value rather than anything worthwhile. It’s not surprising that the show got canceled so fast and that’s best for everyone. There is talent on the roster, but everything else is such a mess that it doesn’t matter whatsoever. This wasn’t wrestling, at least for the most part.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Anarchy Rulz 2000 (2014 Redo): He’s Not Rob Van Dam
Anarchy Rulz 2000
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
The card does seem to be a major improvement in some of ECW’s problem areas. While there’s nothing that is going to save the company in one night, this is a good step for them as Van Dam is finally doing something important again and maybe Lynn can get the major win that has eluded him for so long. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel are in the ring to open things up and Joel gets through his rhyme (sans swearing for once, this time about being with women of all races and thankfully not having 27 children) before throwing us to the opening video. More from them later.
Joey Matthews/Christian York vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring
Matthews (more famous as Joey Mercury) and York (didn’t do much after this other than showing up in TNA for an uneventful run thirteen years later) are young guys who could be described as pretty boys. Matthews and Doring get things going with Doring pulling on the hair to take over. The audio is a bit off here for some reason as Joel sounds like he’s a foot away from his microphone. Doring sends Joey face first into the mat before bringing in Roadkill to a very positive reaction. Off to York who gets taken down by a running shoulder but he comes back with some armdrags.
York counters a slingshot into the corner into a bouncing legdrop, only to have Roadkill pop up and slam both guys down. Matthews and York stay on the monster but Doring gets a hot tag and helps Roadkill with a Hart Attack to Joey. Doring is sent over the top rope and comes down on his arm, followed by double suicide dives from the young guys. Back inside and a double powerbomb drops Doring, but Matthews and York turn around into the springboard clothesline from Roadkill.
Danny nails a top rope elbow but York breaks it up with a top rope legdrop. A middle rope backsplash gets two for York but Doring escapes a headlock and hits the double arm DDT. There’s the hot tag to Roadkill who cleans house and splashes both guys in the corner before the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam from Roadkill/top rope Fameasser combination) for the pin on York.
Rating: C. Nice match here as the tag team division continues to heat up, and for once there’s actually something for them to go after. Roadkill would be another guy that seems ready to push on his own, especially since most of the main eventers are regular sized guys. Being able to fly like he does is only a plus.
Roadkill and Doring help up Matthews and York in a nice display of sportsmanship. Simon and Swinger come in and clean house with chairs before leaving Doring laying. That sounds like a decent feud but they need to have something to fight over.
Joel Gertner has challenged Cyrus to a match tonight. His training method is eating Lucky Charms, though he’s been trained by an unnamed wrestler.
Cyrus comes out to the ring and says he’s ready for Gertner tonight. Everyone at TNN Center says that he’s got pop (the TNN slogan at the time) and he’s going to take Gertner apart. Joey sends Gertner to the ring. “You can do it! You can do it!” Gertner is out of earshot. Joey: “He’s a dead man.” Remember that Cyrus was a wrestler and actually knows what he’s doing. Gertner gets in the ring but Cyrus says Joel has to win another match to get it.
Joel Gertner vs. EZ Money
Money is part of the Hot Commodity stable, which went nowhere. It’s comprised of Money (a cruiserweight who would be in WCW in a few months), Chris Hamrick (a southern wrestler), Julio Dinero (he bounced around wrestling companies for a few years and is probably the most successful of the team) and Elektra. Before the match though, Commissioner Little Spike Dudley comes out and says Gertner has a replacement.
Kid Kash vs. EZ Money
If Kash wins, Joel gets to fight Cyrus. Money jumps Kash before the bell but Kash comes back with some fast armdrags to send Money out to the floor. Hamrick and Dinero get nailed as well but the distraction lets Money sneak in from behind. Money picks up Kash for a suplex but lets him fall backwards and crash down to the mat for two. A charge goes badly for Money as he falls onto his partners, setting up huge springboard flip dive from Kash to take out everyone.
Back in and Money flips over the top rope into a clothesline for two and we hit the chinlock. Joel is screaming for Kash to get up with more emotion than he ever showed as the Dudleys’ manager. Money spends a bit too much time swiveling his hips and gets rolled up for two. A running tornado DDT gets the same for Kash but Money comes back with a spinning suplex neckbreaker (Electric Dreams, named after Elektra) for no cover.
Kash nails something like a Whisper in the Wind for two before they trade pinfall attempts for two each. There’s the Money Maker but Elektra distracts the referee, allowing Dinero to take Kash down. A double suplex has Kash in trouble and Hamrick adds a top rope legdrop for two. Money gets crotched on top but still manages to try a super bomb, only to have Kash reverse into a weak hurricanrana for the pin.
Rating: D+. The spots weren’t bad but if you’ve seen one Kid Kash match you’ve seen the all. As usual it was obvious that Kash was going to win here as Joel vs. Cyrus was almost guaranteed. If nothing else, Hot Commodity could be a decent midcard heel stable and is far better than the Dangerous Alliance.
Post match Hot Commodity beats on Kash until Spike tries to make a save. They go after his leg and put him in a Figure Four but Sandman makes the real save. Elektra tries to seduce him but Sandman pours beer on her chest and shoves Gertner’s face onto the beer.
Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus
Joel jumps him to start before taking off his shirt to reveal Kamala (old Ugandan savage) chest paint. Cyrus trips him up and chops in the corner but Sandman spits beer in his face, allowing Gertner to get a rollup for the fluke pin. This was harmless fun.
Kash, Sandman, Gertner and Spike drink beer.
Da Baldies vs. Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy
Willy is just a muscular guy who showed up near the end of the promotion and wrestled on pay per view a few times. There’s not much else to say about him other than he wore a hat and danced a lot. It’s a brawl to start with Da Baldies get laid out and nailed with double neckbreakers. Balls stabs DeVito in the head with a fork as Angel and Willy fight on the floor. DeVito is busted open as you would expect and a backdrop puts him into the crowd.
Balls bites at the cut and whips him through another barricade right under the announcers’ area. DeVito flips off the announcers for no apparent reason before moonsaulting off I believe a wall. Angel and Willy show up next to them with Chilly getting powerbombed on some chairs. DeVito takes Balls back to the ring for a dropkick but makes the mistake of going after his head.
Mahoney comes back with a series of punches and a superkick to the shoulder. A huge chair shot knocks DeVito senseless but Angel comes back in with the staple gun to the eye. Chilly comes back in and Da Baldies hit three straight chair shots to both of their opponents’ heads for the pin. Mahoney only sells the staple after the match is over.
Rating: D. This was your usual garbage brawl with no wrestling and an overly violent ending. Mahoney not being phased by the staple was the usual nonsense you would expect by something like this, but it doesn’t make up for how ridiculous it was, or how bad this match really was.
Lou E. Dangerously lays out Gertner with his phone. Joey goes after him and we cut to interviews.
Justin Credible says he’ll take out Jerry Lynn just like he’s done to everyone else.
Jerry Lynn says he’s tired of being a starmaker so tonight, in his hometown, he’s making himself World Champion.
Cyrus replaces Joel on commentary.
C.W. Anderson vs. Steve Corino
Winner gets a World Title shot at some point in the future, even though they’re both on pay per view losing streaks. Corino has turned face and now has Dawn Marie with him. They trade shoulders to start but Corino can’t get a neckbreaker. Instead they trade armdrags and duck punches to get us to a standoff. They chop it out with Corino getting the better of it, only to get taken down by a superkick.
Chairs are brought in and Corino gets in a quick shot to the head to take over. C.W. is busted open and a kick to the face makes things worse. We hear about a recent match where Corino almost beat Justin for the World Title which is one of the few reasons why Corino is in this spot despite his win/loss record. Anderson nails Corino with the chair to take over and bust Steve open. Anderson wedges a chair in the corner and sends Corino arm first into the steel to give him a target.
Corino tries to fight back with one arm but a hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two. Anderson stomps onto the chair onto the arm and kicks Corino in the face as the blood starts to flow. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was before but it’s coming. Steve fights back with right hands but the Old School Expulsion is countered into a suplex.
Anderson’s sleeper is broken when Corino crotches him on the chair. A Bionic Elbow and low blow have Corino in control but Simon and Swinger come out for a distraction. C.W.’s big left hand gets two and Steve’s superkick gets the same. The spinebuster is countered into the Old School Expulsion on the chair to make Corino #1 contender.
Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but I have no idea why I should buy Corino as a #1 contender because he’s beaten a midcard guy. Corino is good in the ring and more interesting as a face than a heel, but it’s too soon for him to be in the World Title picture. It’s a good enough match, but either Simon and Swinger are messing with everyone or they’ve forgotten that they already have a feud.
The Sinister Minister is with the Unholy Alliance and their book on witchcraft sets itself on fire.
Rhino says he wants this match with Van Dam because he wants to prove how great he is. God won’t be able to recognize Van Dam after Rhino beats his face so bad.
Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance
The FBI (Mamaluke and Guido) are defending. They’re now all Italians, turning them from the comedy act they used to be into a fully serious group and defeating the purpose of putting them together in the face place. Both members of the Alliance (Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck) are in white masks with red paint around the eyes. Mikey one ups Tajiri though with a hat from Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Mamaluke’s weight is given in liquid ounces.
It’s a brawl to start of course with the challengers taking over. Some hard kicks to the head have the Italians in big trouble and stereo dropkicks below the belt have the Italians reeling. Things settle down to Guido vs. Tajiri as Mikey posts Big Sal on the floor. Mamaluke gets put in the Tree of Woe for the running baseball slide from Tajiri. Sinister Minister adds some fire between Mamaluke’s legs and Guido gets kicked in the chest a lot.
Mikey hammers away on Tony but Mamaluke hits him low to take over. The Italians hit a double powerbomb out of the corner for two on Whipwreck. Guido’s middle rope Fameasser (Sicilian Slice) gets two on Mikey but he catches Tony in a wheelbarrow facebuster. Tajiri comes in and cleans house with kicks to the head, only to get caught in a German suplex from Mamaluke. Guido breaks up Mikey’s rollup with a legdrop but gets the green mist to the face.
The Whippersnapper gets two as Big Sal pulls the referee to the floor. The Minister tries to go after Sal and gets crushed against the barricade. Guido sends Mikey outside and Sal throws in a belt, only to have Tajiri take it away and pelt it at Sal. An Asai Moonsault puts Sal down again but Guido nails Mikey with a title belt, setting up a kind of double powerbomb for the pin to retain.
Rating: C+. The match was so much better because it actually meant something. Just having the title back is a great feeling and now all those other matches could build up to another title match. I have no idea why Heyman waited so long to bring the belts back but it came at a good time with the tag division being deeper than it has been in years.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam
Rhino, the champion, jumps Van Dam during the introductions and they quickly go outside. Both guys are whipped into the barricade but Rhino knocks him into the fans. They brawl around the arena with Rhino in full control and sending Rob through another barricade. Back to ringside and Rob nails a quick kick to the head followed by a Van Daminator with Alfonso’s help. Rob dives over the top rope to take Rhino down again.
Back in and Van Dam skateboards the chair into Rhino’s face but a springboard is knocked out of the air with a middle rope clothesline for two. The Gore in the corner puts Rob down but Rhino stops to set up a table on the floor. A second table is thrown into the ring and set up in the corner but Rhino puts on a chinlock. Back up and Rob nails a spinning kick to the face but comes up with a bloody nose. A Van Daminator misses and Rhino pelts the chair at Van Dam’s head to make things even worse.
Rob comes up with a fireman’s carry slam into a middle rope moonsault (so much for the selling) followed by the Five Star for two. A telling sign: the fans didn’t move because they know a main event match isn’t ending that early. The Gore puts Rob down and the piledriver through the table wakes the fans up a bit. Back in and Rob nails a quick Van Daminator and loads up the Van Terminator but Justin Credible runs out for a distraction. Rob tries the Terminator anyway but Rhino pulls Alfonso in the way. A Gore through the table and a piledriver onto the chair retains Rhino’s title.
Rating: C-. This was nowhere near what it should have been for a few reasons. First and foremost, the match was a big spotfest with only a little wrestling in between. It also doesn’t help that the ending was one of the last things the fans wanted to see. Now that being said, it makes Rhino look like even more of a monster than before and in theory sets up Rob vs. Justin for the title, which should be a walkover for Van Dam. This is ECW though and by late 2000 Rob still hasn’t been World Champion, so I don’t have the highest hopes.
Rob checks on Alfonso after the match and realizes how bad he might be hurt.
We look at a lot of replays and Joey claims a fast count. That may be the case, but ECW referees always counted their pins faster than the average referee.
The announcers hype up the main event to kill more time.
ECW World Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible
Justin is defending and comes out in a Bret Favre Green Bay Packers jersey (big rival to the Minnesota Vikings) for the easy heat. Francine has taped up ribs. Lynn is the hometown boy and gets the reaction to go with it. They start slow and head to the mat where an armdrag frustrates Justin out to the floor for an argument with a fan. Back in and they trade chops with Lynn getting the better of it. Neither guy can hit their finisher so Jerry settles for a middle rope bulldog and a headlock.
Justin is sent to the floor again for Lynn’s big dive off the top but he might have hurt his elbow. Back in and a swinging Boss Man Slam from the champion puts both guys down again. We get a chair brought in for the drop toehold onto its back to give Justin two. A sitout powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair gets the same and the fight heads up the aisle. Justin hammers away by the barricade and it’s back inside the ring.
Lynn grabs a DDT to plant Justin on the chair for a delayed two. Credible comes back with a front facelock as the fans get on his nerves. He stops and grabs a mic to talk trash about Lynn and Minneapolis, causing the fans to throw in a bunch of beer cups. Back to the front facelock after that minute and a half were wasted. They trade near falls for two each until Justin hits that running release DDT to take over.
Lynn kicks the chair into Justin’s face to get a breather but gets sent to the apron, only to come back with a jumping leg to the back of Justin’s head, driving the champion throat first across the middle rope. A guillotine legdrop gets two for Lynn and it’s table time. Justin gets laid on the table but Francine offers a distraction to allow Justin to slam Lynn through the table. A sunset bomb out of the corner gets two for Credible but he walks into the cradle piledriver for another near fall.
That’s Incredible gives Justin two and the fans are right back into this. Credible superkicks the referee down by mistake but Lynn rolls him up. The same referee that Joey said gave a fast count on Van Dam comes in and counts two but stops and waves his finger at Lynn. A belt shot to the head gets a fast two on Lynn and the crooked referee nails Lynn in the head. That’s Incredible gets two more as New Jack comes out for the save. The crooked referee and Lynn counters That’s Incredible into a cradle tombstone for the pin and the title.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but it has a lot of issues. Above all else, this would have meant a lot more if it came about a year and a half ago. ECW completely missed the boat on Lynn when he was on fire and now it’s a nice but mostly meaningless moment. Second, beating Justin Credible makes me wonder what took so long to get there. The guy just did not belong in the main event and everyone seemed to know it. The match itself was just ok with way more overbooking than needed, especially with the story they were trying to tell. At least Lynn will have some good matches as champion though.
The locker room empties out for Lynn to give a speech but the microphone doesn’t work. Instead everyone just stands around to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. The show wasn’t the worst I’ve seen in the series but it’s certainly not a good entry either. The problem here is there’s nothing interesting going on until the ending. Almost everything here feels like it was just thrown together, which is likely true due to the impending cancellation of the show. Lynn getting the title is a good idea, but the fans still see Van Dam as the top guy, and there’s no reason he’s not at worst a former World Champion at this point. You can see that things are dying and it’s not likely to get much better.
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ECW on TNN – September 29, 2000: Last Week Tonight
ECW on TNN Date: September 29, 2000
Location: The Icenter, Salem, New Hampshire
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
The show is on borrowed time as Monday Night Raw has debuted on the same network so this episode really doesn’t mean anything. It’s the go home show for Anarchy Rulz but at the same time it’s featuring a three way dance for the ECW World Title with Justin Credible defending against Jerry Lynn and Steve Corino. Let’s get to it.
Lou E. Dangerously cuts off the intro and says he wrote all of Joel’s material. They even made him a Dudley and now he’ll be the death of Joel Gertner. Joel goes on a rant about how he never liked Lou in any of his characters. Now Lou is the Network’s music consultant and gay jokes are made. The “fight” is on with Joel slapping him into the corner, only to have Cyrus come in for the beatdown. Joey actually makes the save and thank goodness this isn’t the WWF or we’d get a tag match.
Opening sequence.
Joey threatens violence if Lou interferes on Sunday. Egads I’m shaking in my….well I’m not wearing shoes but I wouldn’t be shaking in them even if I was.
Here’s the whole Kid Kash vs. Rhino TV Title match from last week, plus the post match brawl with Van Dam.
Rhino dreams of breaking Van Dam’s neck.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Justin is defending and we see the entrances for the second week in a row. We take a break and come back for the big match intros as they might as well just put up a test patterns for all the time they’re killing here. Justin gets double teamed to start and all three wind up on the floor. Back in and Justin puts both guys down so it’s time for a chair and some swearing.
Corino fights back as this is getting a lot less heat than you would expect. Now it’s Jerry firing off right hands onto Justin’s head to bust him open. Everyone fights into the crowd for a few seconds and all three are bleeding. There’s just nothing to talk about here and it’s getting more and more obvious every second. The referee gets bumped as Jerry hits the cradle piledriver on Justin.
Cue heel referee Danny Daniels to count two and stop, allowing Justin to hit That’s Incredible……and now the referees start fighting. Of course they do. A superkick sends Jerry into another That’s Incredible for the first elimination. Way to make the #1 contender seem important ECW. So we’re down to one on one but let’s pause for Jack Victory and Francine’s interaction which goes nowhere.
Corino chops away until Justin hits him low, allowing Francine to tape him to the top rope. As in WHERE JUSTIN CAN’T PIN HIM. Well done Francine. Justin canes him a few times for two more as the fans want Sandman. Old School Expulsion on the chair gets two more with Francine making the save so here’s Dawn Marie for the catfight. Gah JUST END THIS ALREADY! That’s Incredible retains Credible’s title.
Rating: D+. Here’s the problem: why should I care about any of these guys? Lynn is the guy who has never won anything, Corino’s big deal is that he was a comedy jobber a few months ago and Credible is as uninteresting of a champion as you can find. The brawling was fine, even though they’ve made no secret of the fact that Lynn is getting the title on Sunday, making this overbooked mess a big waste of time.
CW Anderson is looking for Steve Corino and beats up Jack Victory to set up a #1 contenders match with Steve on Sunday.
Justin says he’ll beat Jerry.
Lynn is tired of making everyone else so he’ll make himself this time.
Overall Rating: D. When you have to air last week’s match to fill in time, you’ve reached the point of cutting the cord. I know it doesn’t warrant mentioning tonight as they’ve basically canceled the program at this point but the main event is where it is because of their love affair with the TV Title. Rhino might as well be World Champion at this point and it basically left the main event a glorified midcard title match. This company is clearly ready to die and it’s getting really hard to sit through these shows.
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ECW on TNN – September 22, 2000: Dudley Do-Right Wouldn’t Stand For This
ECW on TNN Date: September 22, 2000
Location: Hershey Centre, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
You really can see that this show is in trouble and the fact that Monday Night Raw is debuting on TNN three days after this show doesn’t make things look promising. They don’t have a major storyline at the moment other than Justin Credible defending the ECW World Title against Jerry Lynn in about two weeks on pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel are happy to be making their Canadian debut and we get to hear about Joel being maple syrup flavored. Then it’s Jerry Lynn coming out for a chat but Justin Credible interrupts in a hurry. That doesn’t go very far either as Steve Corino comes out to interrupt. Corino yells at Lynn for using his blood as body art (a fair complaint) and at Credible for cheating to retain the title. A challenge is issued to both guys but here’s Spike Dudley (still in charge despite Heyman showing up a few weeks ago) to interrupt again.
Tonight it’s going to be a three way dance for the title, which I would normally complain about but it’s not like this show has anything to build towards for the future. Spike has a guest referee in mind, only to have Rhino come out with a Gore before the anything can be announced. Cue New Jack of all people for the big garbage segment. Apparently he’s the guest referee because that makes sense. Jack hits Justin low with a vacuum cleaner and loads up the staple gun, only to have Justin and Rhino get up for the double team.
Clips of Kid Kash vs. Mikey Whipwreck from Hardcore TV with Rhino interfering and laying both guys out. That sets up the following.
TV Title: Kid Kash vs. Rhino
Kash is defending and this is joined in progress with Kash sending him outside for a dive over the barricade. So wait is this on Hardcore TV or ECW on TNN? It’s already time for a table but Kash mostly stumbles through a springboard hurricanrana before Rhino can use it. Kash springboards into a flip dive to the floor (no mats of course because they’re too hardcore for things like protecting their wrestlers) for two back inside. The table is set up in the corner and a Gore cuts Kash down. Another Gore through the table gives Rhino the title back.
Rating: D. Well that happened and now we get Rhino vs. Van Dam III for the title at the pay per view. Giving Kash the title for two weeks was fine enough, albeit not the best option when they could have put it on a bunch of different people for a more interesting result. At least it’s a rub though and that’s very important for them right now.
Post match Rhino calls out Van Dam who comes out and no sells a Gore until security breaks it up.
Chris Hamrick vs. Nova
They don’t waste time here as Elektra and Jazz get in a catfight about thirty seconds in. Nova walks into a clothesline but grabs a quick Kryptonite Crunch (White Noise) for the pin in about a minute.
Post match Chris Chetti comes in to beat on Nova and Jazz. Chetti is tired of being held back when he’s the only real athlete in that locker room. He claims to swing a chair better than anyone here so it’s time for Balls Mahoney to chase him off. Now Da Baldies come out to beat on Balls because just two run-ins aren’t enough. Let’s make it four as Chilly Willy comes in for the real save.
Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill
FBI is defending. Guido and Doring get things going as the announcers discuss Cyrus vs. Gertner for the pay per view. We get an early standoff and Doring is livid over something. Tony comes in and the fans lose their minds over the idea of Roadkill coming in as well. It’s actually more technical wrestling until Roadkill throws Tony right into the arms of Big Sal.
Tony armdrags him down but gets his chest sat on in the eternally stupid sunset flip attempt. Guido tries his luck to about the same avail as it’s a World’s Strongest Slam and Vader Bomb elbow for two from the big man. Everything breaks down and Doring misses a big dive to the floor. Roadkill shrugs off some double teaming but Big Sal gets in a cheap shot to slow Doring down.
That advantage lasts all of ten seconds as a low blow breaks up Guido’s Kiss of Death. The hot tag brings in Roadkill for the house cleaning spot (smart given his ridiculous popularity) and everything breaks down. The Buggy Bang only gets two as Sal pulls the referee out. Roadkill gets shoved off the top through a table and it’s Doring getting splashed by Sal to retain the titles.
Rating: C. You have all those good tag teams and an effective tag team tournament but for some reason we get the rather lame FBI as the champions for reasons that aren’t clear. The problem is they’re just a basic team and that’s not enough when you have all those other options available.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Justin is defending……next week. We get all three entrances as the show ends. Oh come on with the false advertising.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s really hard to get mad at this show when there’s so little going on all the time around here. The wrestling was mostly from other shows or a way to keep the Tag Team Titles on one of the worst possible options. I was actually looking forward to that three way but nah, let’s just say it’s tonight and do it next week instead. That’s not exactly classy, no matter how bad a place they’re in at the moment.
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