Impact Wrestling – August 5, 2021: When Did They Get Good?

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 5, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We’re still in the middle of the Kenny Omega Era and that means he needs a new #1 contender. That is what we get to find out next week, but for now we still have some more things to cover first. Since this is modern wrestling, the Bullet Club is involved, as Jay White and company are fighting against the Elite, including a six man tag this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Bey vs. Juice Robinson

Jay White and David Finlay are here too. Bey dropkicks him into the corner at the bell and Robinson gets stomped down in a hurry. Robinson gets sent outside and something like a 619 on the mat takes him down again. Back in and Robinson catches Bey’s kick to the ribs, only to get pulled into a sleeper. Robinson slips out so Bey hits a Fameasser for two. Robinson is back with a spinebuster for a breather and they’re both down for a bit. The Cannonball crushes Bey in the corner as Finlay beats up White on the ramp. Bey has had it with this and hits the Art of Finesse for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C. This was a showcase win for Bey, who gets back on track after his surprising loss. Robinson in a pretty one sided match was quite weird to see but at least they had a point with Bey. I could go for more of White later in the night though as he is one of the few people to have gotten my attention around here as of late.

Post match, White officially gives Bey the Bullet Club shirt.

The Elite isn’t worried about tonight’s six man tag because they’re that much better. Violent By Design comes in to say they are enacting their rematch clause at Emergence. The Good Brothers aren’t scared.

Fire N Flava insist everything is fine and they’re prove it tonight.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Video on Homecoming, with the debuting Matthew Rehwoldt (Aiden English) and Deonna Purrazzo winning the tournament.

Here is Matthew Rehwoldt, in a crown (Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!”), to introduce his queen, Deonna Purrazzo. Fans: “NO ONE LIKES YOU!” Purrazzo lists off her accolades and gets a “NO ONE CARES” chant. Cue Mickie James to interrupt, with Purrazzo being annoyed at her spotlight being stolen. Mickie wants to get the contract for Empower signed but Purrazzo wants to know her opponent first. Cue Melina of all people and both of them sign the contract. Purrazzo introduces herself as the Virtuosa but Melina says she’s looking forward to taking the title.

Taylor Wilde accuses Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb With A K of reporting her as a suspicious person and tried to get her in trouble with immigration last week. She wants Dashwood next week.

Kimber Lee, now looking evil like Su Yung, sits next to Yung (who she refers to as “Mother”) and asks if she can take a soul.

Jake Something vs. Trey Miguel vs. Rohit Raju vs. Daivari

The winner gets an X-Division Title shot and Shera is here with Raju. It’s a brawl to start and Raju hits a dive onto something and Daivari. Miguel dives onto them as well, leaving everyone but Something to sit on the apron. Something hits a running crossbody against the ropes to all of them as we take a break.

Back with Daivari and Raju double teaming Something against the ropes until Something shrugs them off without much effort. Miguel is back in with some dropkicks, setting up a slugout with Raju. The Muta Lock has Raju in more trouble….and Miguel manages a swinging neckbreaker on Daivari at the same time without breaking the hold. Something comes back in to break it up but Daivari is back in with a missile dropkick. Not that it matters as Something is back with the swinging Boss Man Slam to finish Daivari at 8:09.

Rating: C. This is how you have a match like this as they didn’t spend a lot of time on crazy spots and just got to the point. What matters here is getting Something into the title picture, which is at least some….never mind. Josh Alexander has cleared out the division so bringing in someone fresh is the best thing that they can do at this point. I doubt he wins the title, but at least it’s a fresh match.

Post break, Rohit Raju and Shera yell at Matt Cardona and Chelsea Green.

Josh Alexander is ready for a match with Jake Something because Jake earned the shot. Daivari comes in and gets a non-title match next week for the chance at a future title shot.

Fire N Flava vs. Jordynne Grace/Rachael Ellering

Grace and Ellering have matching gear. Fire n Flava jump them to start to little avail as they get shouldered down in a hurry. The bell rings and Grace hits a spinebuster for two on Steelz as the fans are behind Grace and Ellering. A backsplash gives Ellering two but Steelz slips out of Grace’s MuscleBuster. That’s enough to get Grace down into the corner for some stomping from Hogan, setting up a chinlock from Steelz.

Grace is right back up with a double snap suplex and the hot tag brings Ellering back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and some running knees in the corner rock Hogan. Ellering gets two off a Vader Bomb but Hogan is back with a superkick for two of her own. Steelz gets sent back outside and it’s the assisted swinging Rock Bottom to finish Hogan at 5:22.

Rating: C-. Another loss for Fire N Flava here, but at least Grace and Ellering are starting to feel more like a team. It’s almost like putting these wrestlers together with no backstory or history and expecting them to instantly click isn’t a good idea. They’re getting better at this, but thankfully the division doesn’t have many teams to clear out at the moment.

Post match Hogan and Steelz stare each other down until Savannah Evans (rather tall woman) comes in to lay Hogan out. Steelz stands by and watches before leaving with Evans. So much for Fire N Flava.

Frankie Kazarian says he’ll come after the Elite no matter where they are and he’s coming for them tonight. He isn’t worried about Sami Callihan and Eddie Edwards, because it’s about getting to the Elite.

Violent By Design tells Scott D’Amore about the Tag Team Title match at Emergence but Willie Mack and Rich Swann walk out of his office. We’ll make it a three way match at Emergence instead.

Steve Maclin vs. Jah-C

Maclin jumps Jah-C for turning his back on him and the beating is on in a hurry. Jah-C gets stomped down in the corner and then gets tied in the Tree of Woe. A spear gets two, with Maclin pulling him up. Maclin does it again for a bonus, setting up the reverse inverted sitout DDT driver (NAME THAT ALREADY) for the pin at 2:28.

Post match the beatdown stays on, with Maclin grabbing a chair. Petey Williams comes in for the save to continue Maclin’s first actual competition.

It’s time for All About Me, with Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb With A K in a neck brace. This week’s guest is Dr. Ross Forman, Impact’s resident doctor. Forman asks Kaleb With A K about his injuries and then suggests a specialist. That’s it for Forman, so here is Scott D’Amore instead. We hear about the accusations from Taylor Wilde, but she’ll drop the investigations in exchange for a match with Dashwood. Date to be determined.

We look back at Moose vs. Chris Sabin from last week.

Chris Sabin says he has been in wrestling for 21 years but no one has ever made him as emotional as Moose. The difference is that Sabin is a former World Champion and he’s going to win the battle royal, meaning he can win the title again.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Elite vs. Sami Callihan/Eddie Edwards/Frankie Kazarian

Don Callis is here with the Elite and handles Kenny Omega’s introduction, as usual listing off all of the wrestlers beneath him. The brawl is on before the bell and everyone heads to the floor for the sake of violence. Callihan and Omega get inside to officially start but it’s off to Kazarian for a clothesline instead. The springboard legdrop gets two on Omega as Striker screws up by saying that Homecoming was last night. Omega gets in the Kitaro Crusher and we take a break.

Back with Gallows working on Kazarian, allowing Omega to choke on the ropes. Kazarian springboards his way to freedom though and the hot tag brings in Eddie to pick up the pace. Omega breaks up a middle rope hurricanrana though and an elbow drop gets two. It’s back to Gallows for the chinlock before the Good Brothers knock the other two off the apron. The triple splash gives Gallows two but Gallows charges into a boot in the corner.

A middle rope dropkick allows the tag to Callihan to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers, including the belly to back/neckbreaker combination for two on Callihan. There’s the spinebuster to plant Edwards but he’s back with a Blue Thunder Bomb to Anderson. Callihan piledrives Omega on the apron and it’s the Boston Knee Party to finish Anderson at 12:57.

Rating: B-. This was your standard main event six man, which is going to work most of the time. They are lining up a bunch of possible challengers for Omega and a battle royal is as good of a way to pull one out in a hurry as you are going to have. I can’t imagine Omega loses the Impact World Title before he loses the AEW World Title, but it is a good idea to get rid of one challenger.

Post match, everyone else leaves so W. Morrissey runs in to lay Edwards out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’ve been saying this for a few weeks now but Impact is doing a nice job of putting things together and then executing them. It wasn’t a blow away show but it advanced stories and helped boost things up for Emergence. Impact is in a groove now and I could go for that for a pretty long time to come.

Results
Chris Bey b. Juice Robinson – Art of Finesse
Jake Something b. Trey Miguel, Rohit Raju and Daivari – Swinging Boss Man Slam to Daivari
Jordynne Grace/Rachael Ellering b. Fire N Flava – Assisted swinging Rock Bottom to Hogan
Steve Maclin b. Jah-C – Lifting sitout implant reverse DDT
Sami Callihan/Frankie Kazarian/Eddie Edwards b. Elite – Boston Knee Party to Anderson

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – July 15, 2021: The Other Thing They Do Well

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 15, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Lo Brown 

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and that should make for a different kind of night. The card is set, but there are still a few things that could use a bit more of a boost. Impact has a tendency to do well around this time of year and we might be in for some more teasing of some new arrivals. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

We get a video from Sami Callihan, who wants his Slammiversary World Title match against Kenny Omega to be a No DQ match.

Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K vs. Rachael Ellering/Jordynne Grace

Grace cranks on Kaleb With A K’s hand to start and plants him with a release side slam. There isn’t much of a challenge here so Grace throws him into the corner for a tag to Dashwood. Ellering comes in with a World’s Strongest Slam and everything breaks down in a hurry. Stereo spinebusters plant Dashwood and Kaleb With A K as Josh gives us some “great” news: Matt Striker is back at Slammiversary. Dang it I was just starting to tolerate commentary again.

Ellering gets her face slammed into the mat (sounds like how I felt when I heard about Striker) but she tosses Dashwood outside. A sunset flip pulls Kaleb With A K’s pants down, meaning it’s time for some gyrations. Dashwood pulls Grace off the apron to prevent a tag, leaving Kaleb With A K to drop a knee. A missed charge allows the hot tag off to Grace though and it is time to clean house in a hurry. The Liger Bomb gets two on Kaleb With A K with Dashwood having to make the save.

Grace hits a quick Vader Bomb and Ellering adds a springboard spinning legdrop for two more. Kaleb With A K is back with a superkick to Grace but gets taken down by the Sling Blade. Dashwood Spotlight Kicks Ellering but walks into a spinebuster from Grace. The villains head to the floor so Grace runs through Dashwood with the suicide dive. Back in and Grace charges into a powerslam (with her head hitting the mat) for two but Ellering comes in for an assisted swinging Rock Bottom to give Grace the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C. I liked this one more than I expected as Grace and Ellering match up with Kaleb With A K size wise. It might not have been a classic or anything but Grace and Ellering seem to be on the same page (for now). They could be back in a title feud soon, as it isn’t like there is anyone else who could chase them at the moment.

Video on Kenny Omega vs. Sami Callihan, who DOES NOT care how many stars Dave Meltzer gives Omega’s matches. We do get a quick look at Callihan’s history with Don Callis, which has not been touched on very much during this feud but does tie in.

Video on Deonna Purrazzo’s Knockouts Title reign. She has beaten everyone, but this time she is fighting the unknown.

Purrazzo is not happy with not knowing who she is facing and doesn’t want to sign the contract. She goes on a rant about how annoyed she is and then signs the contract anyway, with Scott D’Amore saying it can be a hot mess and hardcore country around here. Purrazzo: “You’re not telling me who my opponent is?” D’Amore: “No way Jose.”

Here’s what is coming tonight plus at Slammiversary. Callihan vs. Omega is officially No DQ.

Tasha Steelz vs. Havok

Kiera Hogan and Rosemary are here too. Havok shoves her around to start without too much trouble and we take an early break. Back with Steelz hitting a middle rope neckbreaker to take over. The stomping is on in the corner as Rosemary is looking concerned. A superkick in the corner lets Steelz dance a bit but she is stunned by the kickout. Well then don’t dance so much. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Havok powers up and shakes her off in a hurry. Havok hits the running knee in the corner but Steelz strikes away to stagger her. A belly to belly gives Havok two but Steelz hits a pump kick. Not that it matters though as the Tombstone finishes for Havok at 9:49.

Rating: C-. Steelz is the less impressive half of the team but she did well enough here. This was your standard preview of the tag match and while it is effective, it isn’t the most inspired idea. The titles probably need to change hands at the pay per view as Fire N Flava have held them for a good while, but that has been the case for a pretty long time now.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Chris Sabin wins the X-Division Title at Slammiversary 2013.

Video on W. Morrissey.

Susan comes out of a dressing room and tells Kimber Lee that James Mitchell had trouble summoning Su Yung. Lee: “You know?” Susan: “I’VE KNOWN ALL ALONG!” Susan drags her into the room and I’m scared of where this is going.

Steve Maclin vs. Kal Herro

Maclin takes sends Herro into the ropes to start and drops him with an elbow to the face. Herro gets tied in the Tree of Woe for some trash talk (a rarity from Maclin) and a spear for a bonus. Maclin promises to make him quit, just like everyone did on him but Herro jawbreaks his way to freedom. That’s a bad idea as Maclin hits a hard clothesline into some elbows to the face. The reverse sitout implant DDT finishes Herro at 2:28. Maclin is starting to grow on me.

Post match Maclin says the worst thing you can do is give him time, because it lets him prepare and wait. He is done waiting.

Decay is happy with Havok but Rosemary wants to know if Havok is in or out. James Mitchell shows up and Havok says she is ready. Everyone leaves together.

Video on Ultimate X.

Ace Austin/Madman Fulton/Rohit Raju/Shera vs. Petey Williams/Trey Miguel/Josh Alexander/Chris Bey

Williams and Raju run the ropes to start until Raju hits a knee to the ribs. A crucifix gives Williams two and it’s off to Alexander vs. Austin. An early ankle lock attempt doesn’t work so Alexander pulls him to the corner by the arm for the tag to Miguel. Austin misses a springboard kick to the face but rolls straight over for the tag off to Fulton. Snake Eyes into a big boot lets Fulton do his best Undertaker impression as commentary talks about Busted Open Radio.

Austin comes back in for two off a northern lights suplex but Trey manages to flip out of a German suplex. An enziguri rocks Fulton and the hot tag brings in Bey to clean house. Everything breaks down and Alexander snaps off a German suplex. Raju blocks one of his own and neckbreakers Alexander, only to get caught in Williams’ Canadian Destroyer. The parade of secondary finishers is on until Bey rolls Fulton up for the pin at 6:24.

Rating: C+. This was a fun one and they didn’t bother going ridiculous with things. If nothing else, having one of the people not involved in the title match take the fall made sense. On top of that, it was nice to not hear about gaining momentum for a match that has nothing to do with pinfalls, because that still doesn’t make sense.

Post match, Bey cleans house with a chair and then turns on his partners. Makes sense given what he’s been saying lately.

Brian Myers offers to pay Hernandez for his services but Hernandez wants full time pay. With that not working, Myers talks to someone we don’t see.

Here are Brian Myers and Sam Beale, with the former having to admit that Jake Something is professional. Cue Something, with Matt Cardona. Myers admits that Jake is a professional, but he is never going to become a star. The brawl is on with Cardona getting the better of things but Tenille Dashwood (Cardona’s ex), the mystery person from earlier, is here to hit Cardona low.

Post break, Cardona rants about Brian Myers but Scott D’Amore comes in to suggest a mixed tag. Cardona thinks he can find a partner.

Video on Moose vs. Chris Sabin.

Moose vs. Hernandez

Fallout from Moose wrecking Swinger’s Palace. They brawl out to the floor with Moose being sent into the barricade. Back in and a release Rock Bottom plants Hernandez and Lights Out is good for the pin at 1:08.

Post match Moose grabs a chair but Chris Sabin runs in for the save and takes out Moose’s legs.

We get a video on Sami Callihan’s insanity, with Don Callis and Kenny Omega adding their thoughts on how horrible Callihan is.

Slammiversary rundown.

Doc Gallows vs. Joe Doering vs. Fallah Bahh vs. Willie Mack

There are a bunch of people at ringside. Gallows and Doering stare each other down to start but Mack and Bahh break that up to start the fight. With the tall guys cleared out, Mack and Bahh chop it out but neither can hit anything else. That means a stalemate until the other two come back in to pair off. They all fight out to the floor until Mack takes Gallows back inside for an exchange of choking in the corner. Bahh hits the running hip attack but Doering comes back in to kick him to the floor.

Gallows and Mack take their places inside with Gallows booting him in the face. The chinlock goes on but Gallows misses an elbow, allowing Doering to come back in. That doesn’t last long either though as everyone goes outside for another slugout. Gallows hurts himself headbutting Bahh but is fine enough to go back in for a slugout with Doering. That winds up on the floor as well, with Gallows hitting the post by mistake. Back in and Doering crossbodies Bahh, setting up a short arm clothesline for the pin at 8:41.

Rating: C. Take four guys and have them beat on each other for about eight and a half minutes until one of them gets the pin. This is a formula that is going to work every time and it worked fine here. You don’t need to do anything more than that, though it is a little odd to have the champion actually win one of these on the way to the pay per view.

One last Omega vs. Callihan video wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was about setting up the pay per view and it did that well enough. It was kind of nice to focus on just about everything other than the World Title match, which was already been built up but did get some attention with a few videos. Impact knows how to do pay per views fairly well and making me want to see it is a good start, so well done here.

 

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Impact Wrestling – July 8, 2021: He Needs A Better Bat

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 8, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Lo Brown

We’re almost up to Slammiversary and that means it is time for the final push towards the show. The Elite got to stand tall at the end of last week’s show but they are going to have to get what is coming to them sooner rather than later. It wouldn’t surprise me to see them lose a bit of ground here, but you never can tell with them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Kenny Omega and Don Callis are here for the contract signing between Omega and Sami Callihan, who doesn’t have them worried.

Opening sequence.

Brian Myers vs. Jake Something

The loser has to admit the other is a professional and Sam Beale is here with Myers. Something slugs away to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Myers being sent face first into the steps. They head back inside where Myers is clotheslined straight back to the floor in a hurry.

This time Myers gets in a shot of his own, setting up a suplex onto the ramp. Josh: “Jake Something experiencing what it is like to get suplexed onto the ramp. You fans can experience what it is like to see Impact Wrestling live!” Points for a good transition. Beale gets in a cheap shot from the floor but Something is back with a powerbomb. Myers grabs a DDT for two and goes up top for the elbow and a rather near fall. The Roster Cut is countered into the swinging Black Hole Slam to give Something the fast win at 5:19.

Rating: C. Ignoring the stupid Something name, this could have been worse and the ending was clean. It had a personal story behind it and that is about all you can ask for in something like this. They only had about five minutes so they did what they could, which is a little bit more than I was expecting.

Post match Something tells Myers to say it but Myers stalls until Beale can get in a cheap shot. Matt Cardona comes in for the save, likely setting up the tag match.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Deonna Purrazzo is ready to keep the Knockouts Title without Kimber Lee and Susan. She is so confident that it’s open challenge time. I still need a moratorium on those things already.

Sami Callihan is ready for the contract signing when he is arrested for assaulting Don Callis. Sami: “I DID NOTHING THIS TIME!!!”

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. ???

Purrazzo is defending against….the debuting Lady Frost (Dave Penzer: “From somewhere cold!”). Purrazzo doesn’t seem overly intimidated and takes Frost into the corner to stomp away. A roundhouse kick takes Purrazzo down but Frost misses a moonsault, injuring her ankle in the process. With Frost down, the Fujiwara armbar makes her tap at 2:35.

Post match Purrazzo calls Frost another brick in the age of the Virtuosa. She is the greatest Knockouts Champion of all time but here is Gail Kim to interrupt. Kim is here to talk about Slammiversary but she is NOT challenging for the title. Instead, Kim and Scott D’Amore have found a challenger for the title at Slammiversary and Purrazzo isn’t finding out until the show. Be ready for the fight of your life.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Mickie James retains the Knockouts Title over Angelina Love at Slammiversary 2011.

Chris Sabin comes in to the empty Swinger’s Palace but Johnny Swinger isn’t there. Sabin asks one of the Swingerellas about her cat’s surgery but here’s Moose to jump both Sabin and Hernandez.

Chris Bey has made his decision about his side in the X-Division war, but he isn’t friends with anyone on his side.

W. Morrissey vs. Jason Page/Manny Smith/Deontay Evans

Before the match, Morrissey accepts Eddie Edwards’ challenge for Slammiversary and promises to demonstrate what is coming for him. Clotheslines and splashes set up a chokeslam and a powerbomb to put all three down at once. The release F5 lets Morrissey stack them up for the pin at 1:54. Well that was effective.

Video on the Knockouts division and how awesome the whole group is.

Don Callis is rather serious about the assault and isn’t taking this lightly. He even has footage of what happened and we see “Callihan” (mostly from behind and with his face covered) hitting him. Scott D’Amore says the contract signing is taking place tonight anyway.

Susan/Kimber Lee vs. Rosemary/Havok

Susan panics at having to start with Rosemary and it’s off to Havok for a double clothesline. Lee comes in and hammers away to no avail before being screamed down. Havok tosses Lee around with ease so Rosemary comes back in. This time Lee actually manages to do something of her own, with a series of kicks to the head. Susan and Lee start taking turns on Rosemary in the corner, which lasts all of ten seconds before she gets away for the tag off to Havok. Everything breaks down and Havok knocks Lee off the top to the floor. Rosemary spears Susan for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Remember when Susan was Su Yung, the indestructible monster of the division? Well now she’s losing in a mostly one sided tag match in about four minutes. At least they turned her into some kind of a joke with the pants suit, because that’s what you should do with someone as unique and talented as Yung. As usual, this company makes some really strange choices from time to time.

We go to the locker room for It’s All About Me, with Jazz (in a Shad Gaspard shirt) as this week’s guest. She gets to ask Tenille Dashwood a question, but Dashwood asks her about Rachael Ellering and Jordynne Grace’s instead. With that not working, Kaleb With A K asks what it means for Dashwood, who blames Jazz for everything falling apart. Dashwood thinks that sounds like Jazz’s career before backing away. Jazz gets shoved into the camera to wrap it up.

Post break, Grace and Ellering come in to check on Jazz. Revenge is sworn, with Ellering not being happy with Jazz being treated like this. Seems like a mixed tag is set for next week.

Here are Rich Swann and Willie Mack for a chat. Swann talks about how they like to fight straight up but Violent By Design jumped them last week. The challenge is sent out for the Tag Team Title shot but TJP and Fallah Bahh interrupt instead. The line starts behind them in the same promo you’ve heard a hundred times. Cue Violent By Design for the showdown but the Good Brothers come in as well, with both guys talking about how great they are in a southern preacher style. Cue Tommy Dreamer to announce a four way tag at Slammiversary. Great. Speaking of great, it’s time for a four way.

Deaner vs. Rich Swann vs. TJP vs. Karl Anderson

We start fast after with the partners on the floor and everyone else brawling inside. Swann and TJP are left alone in the ring and it’s time to start running the ropes in a hurry. TJP gets sent outside but Deaner is right there to jump Swann from behind. The chinlock goes on but here is TJP to kick Deaner down in the corner. Deaner reverses and hits a running dropkick to drive TJP’s neck into the corner for two. Back up and TJP sends Deaner and Anderson to the floor, only to be sent outside by Swann. That means a huge flip dive from Swann and we take a break.

Back with Swann running into Deaner’s knee to the ribs as Anderson gets back in. Deaner jumps him rather than agreeing to an alliance before Swann is back in. Everyone knocks each other down until TJP kicks Anderson into the corner for the boot wash. The Detonation Kick is blocked but so is the Gun Stun, leaving TJP to hit the Detonation Kick on Anderson. The Mamba Splash misses though and a Deaner DDT gets two on Swann. TJP is sent outside, leaving Anderson to Gun Stun Deaner for the pin at 13:21.

Rating: C+. The match was as energetic as you would have expected, despite one of the Good Brothers winning to make me roll my eyes. I’m not expecting them to get a title shot but there is always that chance. That alone should be a scary thought and I’m not sure what to expect at Slammiversary.

Post match the Good Brothers have their big staredown with Violent By Design, with everyone else getting involved.

Kimber Lee has a backup plan for Susan, revealing James Mitchell (yeah he’s great but HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS THING), who is going to help things out.

Slammiversary rundown.

Video on Kenny Omega vs. Sami Callihan.

Scott D’Amore is in the ring for the Omega vs. Callihan contract signing. Since there is no Callihan, here are Omega and Don Callis, with the latter bragging about Callihan not being around. D’Amore says they have nine days to get Callihan to sign so Omega signs. The lights go out though and we see footage of Callis being slapped by the fake Callihan and praising him for doing it well.

Cue the real Callihan with the baseball bat to Omega, who is back up nine seconds later for the brawl. Callihan plants him with the package piledriver and then signs the deal. Omega is put through the table to end the show. This was contract signing 101, but if Callihan can’t keep him down for ten seconds with a baseball bat, why bother with the match?

Overall Rating: C-. They did a few things that make me want to see Slammiversary more and that is what matters the most. The wrestling here wasn’t great but it also wasn’t the point of the show. What mattered here was making me want to see the pay per view and job well done enough. The show still isn’t great, but they have found their rhythm and seem to be sticking with it and that’s a good thing.

Results
Jake Something b. Brian Myers – Swinging Black Hole Slam
Deonna Purrazzo b. Lady Frost – Fujiwara armbar
W. Morrissey b. Jason Page/Manny Smith/Deontay Wilder – Triple pin
Rosemary/Havok b. Susan/Kimber Lee – Spear to Susan
Karl Anderson b. Rich Swann, Deaner and TJP – Gun Stun to Deaner

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 9, 2021: Let’s Get This Over With

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

It’s the go home show for No Surrender and that means we are almost out of the Tommy Dreamer Main Eventer phase. It hasn’t been the worst stretch in the world but it also hasn’t been thrilling television either. Odds are that this is going to be the biggest push of them all that could make for a rough stretch. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Josh Alexander/Suicide/Trey Miguel/Willie Mack vs. Blake Christian/Ace Austin/Daivari/Chris Bey

These eight will be in a Triple Threat Revolver Match (basically a gauntlet) at No Surrender for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title. Alexander top wristlocks Christian down to start and hits a slam for a bonus. Austin comes in to increase the competition a bit so Alexander drops Trey onto him for two. It’s off to Bey as the pace picks up but things start to break down a bit with Austin missing a dive onto Bey.

Mack’s attempt at a dive onto both of them is broken up and Daivari unloads on Mack in the corner. That just earns him a Samoan drop into the standing moonsault, which only lands on Daivari’s knees. Bey comes back in for two off an elbow to the back and it’s time for the rotating heel beatdowns. Christian hits a dropkick to the back of the head for two and Daivari grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back.

That’s broken up in a hurry and it’s back to Miguel, who kicks Blake down in a hurry. Miguel grabs a Muta Lock but pulls up on his knees instead of bridging back. Bey breaks that up so Alexander comes in for a bunch of northern lights suplexes. The ankle lock has Austin in trouble but Christian makes the save with a 450. Mack’s standing moonsault hits Christian but it’s off to Bey and Austin to beat on Suicide. That’s broken up as Suicide dropkicks Bey to the floor, only to accidentally get knocked outside by Miguel. With Suicide down, Miguel pulls Christian into the Hourglass for the tap at 11:57.

Rating: C+. Take eight people, have them fly all over the place and let them do their thing. This was a nice preview for Saturday, even if the concept sounds a little weird (not necessarily a bad thing). I can always go for such an all over the place match like this and it worked out well enough here.

Post match Sami Callihan pops up on screen to ask how fast Trey is going to leave after things start going badly again. Threats are implied.

Various wrestlers wish Tommy Dreamer a Happy Birthday, including Gail Kim. There’s even a graphic.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Kimber Lee vs. ODB

Deonna Purrazzo and Susan are here with Lee. The bell rings and Lee bails to the floor for the conference, with the advice leading her to….puff up her chest and bounce off of ODB. Lee is knocked down and kicked in the face, followed by a hard chop in the corner. ODB’s Dirty Dozen is broken up (good) and Lee grabs a full nelson with her legs. ODB fights up but gets sent into the corner over and over as we take a break.

Back with ODB hammering away and hitting a splash in the corner. There’s the Cannonball for two and now the Dirty Dozen works. A middle rope Thesz press gets two but Lee kicks her in the head. ODB slams her off the ropes but Purrazzo and Susan get on the apron. Cue Jordynne Grace and Jazz for the brawl, allowing ODB to dive off of the apron to take out Susan and Purrazzo. Lee is right back up with a rollup for the pin at 12:01.

Rating: C-. I have never been an ODB fan and I don’t see that changing anytime soon, but she did her thing well enough here to get by. You can probably set up the six woman tag for No Surrender (assuming it hasn’t already been booked) and that will work out fine. ODB hasn’t been the focus here so it’s not the worst thing, but just don’t have her become the main point of the feud.

We go to Swinger’s Palace where Fallah Bahh is out of money. His offer of a slightly used cookie is turned down and he is thrown out, leaving Swinger to hit on Alisha Edwards. Swinger: “I’m Terry Taylor!” He also has the wad of money, because money is something to be held for months on end instead of, you know, used for money things.

Susan rants to Purrazzo and Lee about what just happened and it’s time to set up the six woman tag.

Here’s Cousin Jake for a chat. He thought that things were going great around here for the Deaners but now things have fallen apart. Cue Violent By Design to get an answer on their offer from last week. Eric Young tells him to be the best version of himself but Jake says he’s going to stand for….something. The beatdown is on and the Pillmanizing is on but Cody says hang on. Eric says ok, because it can be Jake vs. Cody at No Surrender.

Rohit Raju says he and Mahabali Shera have been friends for a long time and at No Surrender, Raju is getting the X-Division Title back.

Tony Schiavone and Tony Khan talk about the Forbidden Door being opened up, with Khan realizing that he was the Forbidden Door. Who knows who is going to show up next??? We run down this week’s Dynamite card. Khan will even be back in Nashville soon enough to mess with Impact some more.

The Good Brothers know Chris Sabin/James Storm are great but they’re not the Good Brothers. Tonight it’s a Magic Killer and a Too Sweet.

Kiera Hogan vs. Nevaeh

Tasha Steelz and Havok are here too. Nevaeh wins a slugout to start and hits a Hennig necksnap into a sliding lariat for two. A clothesline gets the same as commentary tries to figure out what kind of shoes Kiera is wearing. Kiera slugs away but gets caught with a belly to back faceplant, setting up a side slam for two more. Hogan tries another slugout and gets kicked in the head for two more, followed by an STO to put her down again. With nothing else working, Steelz comes in for a Codebreaker on Nevaeh and the DQ at 5:46.

Rating: D. Well that wasn’t much. They have pretty clearly established the story already as the champs can’t beat Havok and Nevaeh in a fair fight so they keep finding ways to get out like this. That works out well enough, but it doesn’t exactly make for some interesting television. I’m not sure when we’ll be getting to the title match, but I’m also not sure how interesting it is going to be.

AEW stars wish Tommy Dreamer a Happy Birthday. These aren’t quite as polite.

Fire N Flava yell at Scott D’Amore about the referee costing them their singles matches against Havok and Nevaeh. D’Amore has a solution: a different referee for their No DQ title defense at No Surrender. He shuts the door on them and the screaming continues anyway.

Here are XXXL, Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb With A K for a chat. They’re ready for their No Surrender tag match with Decay and that’s why Dashwood is here: she can beat up Rosemary for them! Dashwood doesn’t understand what kind of a name Decay is because that sounds like they need a dentist. Kaleb With A K issues a challenge to any member of Decay, which really doesn’t seem like the best idea. Cue Decay, with Rosemary saying they have found someone new to play with them.

Black Taurus vs. Kaleb With A K

Taurus is a monster in a bull mask from AAA and fits in rather well with the team. Kaleb gets tossed into the corner and it’s a pop up Samoan drop to crush him again. Something like a fisherman’s suplex spun into a powerslam finishes for Taurus at 58 seconds. I’ve been impressed by Taurus before and he looked great here.

Brian Myers pays off Hernandez, who wants to get paid up front before their No Surrender tag match. Fallah Bahh sees the money being exchanged and seems to have an idea.

Tag Team Titles: Good Brothers vs. James Storm/Chris Sabin

Storm/Sabin are challenging. Sabin grabs Anderson’s arm to start and armdrags him into an armbar. Storm comes in to hammer away in the corner and the rapid tags continue with the Boys being sent outside. We take a break and come back with Sabin kicking Anderson in the back of the head to give Storm two. Sabin comes back in but the tag brings in Gallows to put the champs in control for the first time.

Some shots to the ribs have Sabin in trouble in the corner and it’s back to Anderson for a chinlock. Gallows puts on his own chinlock as Private Party and Matt Hardy come out to watch. That’s enough of a distraction for Sabin to get over to Storm for the tag as as everything breaks down. Storm hits a Backstabber on Anderson but Private Party runs in for the DQ at 10:47.

Rating: C. This only had so much time to get anything going and the ending didn’t help things, but Sabin and Storm felt like they could have had a chance at taking the titles. Granted it might not have been the biggest chance because of the No Surrender title match coming up, but it’s better than nothing. I’m not sure how much of a future the team has though, as Alex Shelley being back would seem to get rid of their future. Still though, not too bad here.

Post break, Matt Hardy promises Private Party a bonus if they win the titles. Scott D’Amore comes in to say there’s a problem so the title match on Sunday is now a triple threat with Chris Sabin/James Storm added in. Matt freaks out.

We run down No Surrender, which seems like it has had about 15 matches added.

Moose doesn’t like that this match is taking place because Swann promised him the title match first. Violence is teased but D’Amore cuts Moose off and says he can be gone in a hurry. Moose says he can hurt Swann whenever he wants so they yell at each other until Dreamer tells them both to shut up. He pulls out his phone and reads a text from Moose that he got back in July after their match. Moose said Dreamer still had it and he got it as a result.

They are all in wrestling and love this business, which is why he doesn’t wrestle for money anymore. All Dreamer wants is to help the men and women in the back because somewhere, fifty years ago, a Dreamer was born and now there are a bunch of dreamers in the back. For three hours on Saturday, fans are going to have a chance to forget everything else so Dreamer signs. They hug to end the show as Moose leaves. Dreamer’s promo was great, but it doesn’t get around the idea that Dreamer has been one of the major focuses for the last few weeks.

Overall Rating: C. These Impact Plus specials have been a heck of a bonus for the company as there is really very little that separates them from a regular pay per view. Aside from the main event, No Surrender might as well be a low level pay per view and that’s a nice thing to have. Impact only runs a handful of pay per views in the first place so giving us something to bridge that gap helps a lot.

That being said, I think I’ve made my issues with Dreamer’s continued presence and pushes well known enough over the years so I’ll spare it again. Other than that, the show still has some weak spots, mainly around the women’s division. The talent is completely there but the stories they are telling aren’t exactly working at the moment. Upgrade that and get on to Swann vs. Moose and this show gets a heck of an upgrade in a hurry.

Results

Willie Mack/Suicide/Trey Miguel/Josh Alexander b. Blake Christian/Ace Austin/Daivari/Chris Bey – Hourglass to Christian

Kimber Lee b. ODB – Rollup

Nevaeh b. Kiera Hogan via DQ when Tasha Steelz interfered

Black Taurus b. Kaleb With A K – Spinning powerslam

Chris Sabin/James Storm b. Good Brothers via DQ when Private Party interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Hard To Kill 2021: He Got Worse

Hard To Kill 2021
Date: January 16, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

We’re back on pay per view with this one and that means it is time to step things up. This time around, the big story is AEW’s Kenny Omega coming in to team with the Good Brothers against Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin (as Alex Shelley is out due to some personal circumstances). The card isn’t looking great but Impact can do some good pay per views. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Josh Alexander vs. Brian Myers

Alexander takes him down by the leg to start and then spins out of a wristlock to put Myers down again. They head outside with Myers being driven back first into the apron but Myers shoves him hard off the top. We take a break and come back with Myers grabbing a quickly broken chinlock. Myers trips him down to cut off the comeback and the chinlock goes on again. That’s broken up as well so Myers hits a Downward Spiral for two, sending us to another break.

Back again with a discus forearm putting Myers on the floor. Alexander can’t get a German suplex but he can get the ankle lock, followed by the German suplex for two. Myers catches him with an enziguri on top, setting up the superplex with Alexander tying the legs up into a small package for two more.

A quick Michinoku Driver gives Myers two so Alexander backslides him for the same (with Striker throwing in a Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair reference because he tries way too hard). The ankle lock goes on and Myers can’t roll out, so instead he pulls the headgear around to blind Alexander. That’s enough for the running clothesline to finish Alexander at 10:54.

Rating: C-. Are they kidding? Who in the world looks at Myers and Alexander (especially including their histories and thinks that Myers, as “The Most Professional Wrestler”, is the more interesting choice? I don’t get this one, but I’m hoping they have a better idea than just pushing him because he used to be in WWE. Baffling decision here, and it came after a just ok match.

The opening video looks at how people had to survive a lot over the year but they are hard to kill. This includes a good bit of AEW footage, plus Alex Shelley announcing that he will not be able to be here tonight. Moose is taking his place, which could be a bit better.

Decay vs. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

That would be Rosemary/Crazy Steve. The men start things off with Steve headlocking him down and then tripping the leg. Rosemary comes in to crank on the arm and then hands it back to Steve. Kaleb sends him outside but thinks twice about the dive, instead bringing Dashwood in to elbow Rosemary in the face. Some shots to the back have Rosemary in more trouble and we hit the chinlock, complete with Dashwood rubbing Rosemary’s head.

Kaleb takes too much time going up though and Dashwood gets kicked into him for the crotching. Rosemary kicks Dashwood away again and the hot tag brings in Steve to start cleaning house. A rollup out of the corner brings Dashwood in for the save so Steve glares her out to the floor. Kaleb takes over on Steve’s arm, setting up a Russian legsweep for no cover.

Instead Kaleb stops for a photo, meaning Steve can avoid the moonsault. That’s enough for Rosemary to come in and clean house as everything breaks down. Rosemary hits a spear but walks into Kaleb’s superkick. The green mist hits Dashwood and Kaleb backfists Steve down. More mist blinds Kaleb and Steve hits a tornado DDT for the pin at 8:55.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird choice for an opener as the match wasn’t really a big part of the build (I’m not even sure I remember it being mentioned on TV) and it was just ok anyway. Rosemary and Steve work well together and while it’s nice to see Kaleb take the fall, it’s another miss for Dashwood. Not terrible by any means, but not a great match with a weird placement.

We run down the card. Still makes little sense on a pay per view.

We recap (with the video starting before Striker was done talking) Eric Young and company attacking various people around here. That means it’s time for Tommy Dreamer to defend his latest wrestling home, meaning we have a six man Old School tag.

Violent By Design vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Cousin Jake

Old School (extreme) rules. That would be the name for Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering, because every team needs a name now. Striker: “I don’t think there is anyone who has done what Tommy Dreamer has done over the last thirty years at such a high level.” I think we can write that off as the first stupid Striker line of the night and move on. The ring is mostly cleared to start and it’s Jake vs. Deaner n the big showdown.

They’re out on the floor in a hurry as we go to a triple screen (THANK YOU!) until everyone winds up on the same side at ringside. The wild brawling continues until Dreamer brings in the cookie sheet to knock Young down. Back inside and a cutter drops Young again so it’s time for Rhino, Dreamer and Deaner to chair Doering down. That isn’t enough to keep him down as Doering gets up and bites Dreamer’s head.

Deaner throws Jake off the top onto two open chairs….and exactly thirty seconds later, Jake is back up with a suicide dive onto Doering and Young. That leaves Dreamer to crotch Deaner on top and it’s something like a Tower of Doom, with Dreamer getting kicked in the face in the process. Rhino posts Doering on the floor and it’s time for the thumbtacks. Young is backdropped onto said tacks and there’s the Gore to drop Doering. Jake’s Black Hole Slam gets two on Deaner with Young making the save with the hockey mask. The piledriver finishes Deaner at 9:51.

Rating: D+. They brawled, they did the same violent spots they always do, they tried to make Dreamer some kind of legend and Young was treated as the big evil. This was almost everything I don’t like about Impact rolled into one match and I have a bad feeling that it is going to be continuing for a good while to come. Throw in Doering being the latest monster without much of a reason to care about him other than who he associates with, we could be in for a long run with these guys.

Rich Swann fires up Chris Sabin when Moose comes in. Swann doesn’t trust Moose because Willie Mack would be here if Moose hadn’t taken him out. Moose talks about playing football with people he didn’t like but he would die for them once a game began. Tonight, Omega and the Brothers are getting beaten down all night long.

Video on the Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament.

Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament: Fire And Flava vs. Havok/Nevaeh

For the vacant titles and that would be Tasha Steelz/Kiera Hogan, because, again, every team needs a name these days. Steelz and Hogan jump them to start with little avail, meaning it’s Steelz and Nevaeh to officially get things going. Havok comes in so Steelz bails out to Hogan, who is promptly backbreakered. A sliding clothesline gives Nevaeh two and it’s back to Havok to wreck both of them.

Havok misses a legdrop so some kicks to the face put her down for two. More running kicks in the corner give Hogan two but Havok drives Steelz into the corner. Havok tosses both of them down at the same time, allowing the tag off to Nevaeh. Steelz DDTs Hogan by mistake (yep still stupid) but Nevaeh gets caught on top.

That’s fine with Havok, who powerbombs both of them out of the corner (after walking a bit to show off). Hogan is back up with a neckbreaker on Havok and a Stunner rocks her again. Havok gets taken to the floor, leaving Hogan to hit a fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh for the pin and the titles at 8:48.

Rating: C. They aren’t exactly in the mood to give the wrestlers time tonight. This was a fairly rushed match but it’s nice to have one of the established teams win rather than a makeshift pair becoming the champions. I’m not sure what kind of a future the titles have, but it was an acceptable enough start.

Madison Rayne and Gail Kim come out to present the new titles.

Decay comes up to Taya Valkyrie but she, politely says she has this tonight. The women leave and Acey Romero sneaks into the Knockouts locker room.

Here are the unscheduled Ace Austin and Madman Fulton for a chat. Austin does not like being relegated to the pre-show panel because he won the Super X Cup. That means he should be #1 contender to the X-Division Title. So come on Scott D’Amore. Get out here and make the match. Cue D’Amore who agrees Austin needs a match so here is his opponent.

Ace Austin vs. Matt Cardona

Striker: “This is a mark out moment and I’m marking out bro!” Cardona starts fast with a running faceplant to send Austin to the apron. That means Austin can do his gymnastics on the apron until Cardona trips him face first. As Striker talks about “popping the internet”, a swinging neckbreaker drops Austin onto the floor. Fulton’s distraction lets Austin get in a cheap shot but it’s a flapjack to put him down back inside. The running corner clothesline sets up the Reboot (Broski Boot) but Fulton comes in for the DQ at 2:33.

Post match Cardona clears the ring in a hurry.

We recap the X-Division Title match. TJP couldn’t get another title shot so he put on a mask as Manik and won the title. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey want to unmask him and prove everything so we’re having a triple threat title match.

X-Division Title: Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju vs. Manik

Manik is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Manik dropkicks Bey to the floor to start and runs the ropes with Raju. Bey is back in and that means a three way standoff. Raju gets knocked down again and Bey uses him as a launchpad to dropkick Manik to the floor this time. That doesn’t last long as Manik and Bey switch places, allowing Raju to counter a headscissors into a reverse sitout powerbomb for two on Manik.

Bey comes back in and Raju misses a charge to the floor, allowing Manik to tie up Bey’s legs. Raju rejoins them for a standing armbar on Manik at the same time as Brown and Striker over if that is TJP or not. The double holds are broken up and Manik sends Raju outside, leaving Bey to hit a springboard kick to the head to catch Manik in the ropes. Bey misses a dive and gets apron bombed down for the mistake. Back in and Raju gets Manik’s mask off to reveal…a painted face.

Manik goes up top for a frog splash but dives into a cutter from Bey. A double Art of Finesse lets Bey cover Manik for two and everyone is down for a second. Raju is up first and ties Bey in the Tree of Woe, meaning Manik can come in with a springboard hurricanrana. The Detonation Kick connects with Bey making the save so he and Manik fight over a Tombstone.

Manik finally plants him but walks into a jumping knee from Raju. A kick to the face gives Raju two on Manik and everyone is down again. Raju is sent to the floor, leaving Manik to hit a springboard DDT on Bey. The frog splash hits Bey and Raju slides back in for two in a callback to what set this up. Raju throws Manik off the top but gets kicked in the head by Bey.

They go up top with Bey getting tied in the Tree of Woe again. Raju pulls Manik into a Crossface (which Striker says is a variation on the Regal Stretch, because, again, Striker tries too hard) until Bey makes the save. Manik rolls to the floor so Raju unloads with shots to Bey’s head, only to have Manik roll Raju up to retain at 13:52.

Rating: B. Now this was good as they were doing all of their spots in a hurry while making the match feel like a frenzy. That’s the kind of match you would want for a pay per view X-Division Title match and the show needed it pretty badly. Manik continues to be one of the best in-ring stars on the roster, but the painted face under the mask is a pretty weak way to keep things going.

Post match, Manik taunts Raju with the win.

Eddie Edwards tells Alisha that she can’t be involved in the Barbed Wire Massacre. She can’t be at risk because Eddie doesn’t know what is happening to him. Alisha promises not to go out there.

We recap Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie. Purrazzo is the amazing champion, Valkyrie used to be the amazing champion, the title match is on.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Taya Valkyrie

Purrazzo is defending and has Kimber Lee and Susan with her, while Taya has Decay. Taya knocks her into the corner to start and hammers away against the ropes. Purrazzo is knocked outside where Lee gets in a cheap shot and Susan starts recording Steve. The referee gets knocked down so it’s a big group ejection to leave us one on one. Striker is confused about whether the bell rang or not, because he was probably too busy making some reference to Georgia Championship Wrestling in 1983.

Back in and Purrazzo starts on the arm, including a Russian legsweep and a roll through into a Tequila Sunrise. Now it’s off to a kneebar so Taya has to go to the rope again. A DDT on the knee gets two but Taya is back up with chops and a spear for two. Purrazzo dropkicks the knee out but Taya runs her over again without much effort.

There’s a Curb Stomp into something like an STF, which Striker….actually doesn’t screw up (even a bad announcer finds the right move once a match). Back up and Taya can’t hit a tilt-a-whirl slam as Purrazzo takes her down into the Fujiwara Armbar. That’s switches into Cosa Nostra to retain the title at 11:35.

Rating: B-. I can go for watching these two doing their thing for a good while and that is what we got here. Purrazzo being able to pull someone into whatever painful hold she has at the moment and Taya can make almost anything work. This was exactly what it was supposed to be and I had a good time with it throughout. Above all else, it felt like a match that belonged on pay per view, which hasn’t been the case with everything else on the card so far.

Acey Romero comes up to John E. Bravo, who insists that Larry D. shot him. He calls Acey crazy but Acey found some of Larry’s Ring Rust cologne in a Knockouts bag. Bravo is intrigued. Sweet goodness WHY IS THIS STILL GOING???

We recap the fall of Ethan Page, who has gone rather insane and is feuding with his own alter ego, the Karate Man. Now it’s time for Page to fight himself.

Ethan Page vs. Karate Man

We go cinematic (duh) and they fight in front of a green screen, Mortal Kombat style. Page punches and Karate Man kicks as the background keeps changing. Then Karate Man pulls out Page’s heart to end it at we’ll say 2:30. So Page was REALLY unhappy about this online and if this is what they cobbled together after what seems like a lot of work went into it, I can completely get that. This was a waste of time from what could have been an entertaining idea and Page deserved a better way to go out than a segment which is getting as much time as the Wrestle House fallout.

Don Callis comes up to Moose in the back and reminds him that he has a two year contract. Callis suggests that if Moose hurts Kenny Omega, the contract may be ruined. Moose doesn’t want to hear it and says he’s coming for the Impact World Title. And maybe Omega’s too. Callis: “S***.”

We recap Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards in Barbed Wire Massacre. They have feuded on and off for years now and this is the FINAL match, with Callihan having Ken Shamrock in his back pocket. Eddie has no one, as he has ordered his wife to stay away for her own safety.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

There are various barbed wire instruments around the ring, including one side of a cage with barbed wire on top/wrapped around it and various barbed wire weapons hanging from a wire above the top rope. Eddie avoids being driven into a barbed wire board in the corner, which falls over as they lock up. Sami is sent into the barbed wire in the ropes so Eddie whips out a barbed wire ring to press down onto Sami’s head. The board is on the mat but Sami is smart enough to push it out to the floor before he goes face first.

Eddie’s suicide dive (with a bit of a spin) sends him back first through the barbed wire board and Sami drops the Cactus Jack elbow for a bonus. Sami messes with some more barbed wire on the floor and takes it back inside for the slugout. Eddie gets dropped ribs first onto the wire and Sami whips him with a…..Nintendo 64 controller wrapped in barbed wire? I think I can go with this. Sami goes up but Eddie comes out with a backpack Stunner for the breather.

The Blue Thunder Bomb onto a barbed wire chair gets two on Sami but Eddie’s missed charge hits the cage wall. They hit each other in the head with barbed wire for a double knockdown so it’s time for a barbed wire kendo stick vs. the barbed wire bat. It’s better because they have the other’s signature weapon and it’s Sami dropping him onto the barbed wire board. Another barbed wire board is thrown in and Sami (mostly) bridges it between two chairs.

A super piledriver through the barbed wire board only gets two and there wasn’t even any drama on the kickout. I know it’s just a spot these days but can you at least try to have some drama in there? Sami loads up the bat to the chair on the face but Eddie kicks him away and hits the Boston Knee Party into a chair. The Emerald Flosion onto the barbed wire finishes Sami at 18:53.

Rating: B-. This is one where your individual tastes are certainly going to vary and that isn’t a big surprise. There were some completely ridiculous moments here but it felt like two people who hated each other wanting to hurt each other. The piledriver kickout was pretty ridiculous and I’m not a big fan of this kind of match in the first place, but it could have been a lot worse than what we got.

Rebellion is on April 24.

We recap the main event. Impact executive Don Callis brought in AEW World Champion Kenny Omega as part of some big elaborate plan which isn’t quite as epic as they think it is. Impact World Champion Rich Swann didn’t like it so Kenny hooked up with the Good Brothers against Swann and the Motor City Machine Guns. Alex Shelley is out for the six man though and Moose, Swann’s #1 contender and the man who hurt his best friend, is taking his place.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann/Moose/Chris Sabin

Don Callis is here too and handles Omega’s entrance (which Striker says is a moment fans will be telling their children about). Omega has a Bullet Club shirt (the Halloween edition for some reason) on, because we need to know New Japan history to understand the AEW World Champion’s reference in Impact Wrestling. Anderson drives Sabin into the corner to start and a shot to the face has Sabin in some trouble. An armdrag gets him right back out though and we have a standoff.

Moose and Gallows get in for the big man showdown with Moose knocking him around. Omega comes in, with Striker making both a hockey reference and saying that the Bullet Club reunion on Dynamite reminded us why we all love wrestling. It’s off to Anderson vs. Swann in a hurry with the latter snapping off a headscissors. Gallows and Omega are knocked to the floor and it’s a double dropkick to Anderson.

Moose adds a standing moonsault, with Striker saying that Moose now is the sport, a few seconds after talking about how amazing it was that the two World Champions are in a match together. Sabin gets taken into the corner so the villains can take over, including Omega hitting a backbreaker for two. Striker asks Brown if Omega is the best in the world and Brown seems to think so. There is NO MENTION AT ALL of the Impact Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION, who is in this same match, in case you needed an illustration of why Impact’s benefit from this Omega deal is rather limited.

Anderson grabs a chinlock on Sabin but the comeback sets up a double clothesline, allowing the tag to Omega and Swann (thankfully with Striker bringing Swann’s name in for the best wrestler in the world discussion). Everything breaks down and some assisted DDTs send the Brothers outside. Swann dives onto Omega but the frog splash is blocked back inside. Anderson adds a slam (with Sabin flipping him off), allowing Striker to talk about wrestling being a universal language.

The Kitaro Crusher gets two and a triple splash gets two on Swann. Back up and Swann manages a Pele to Omega and the hot tag brings in Moose. House is cleaned and the Omega BANG is mocked, setting up a triple boot to Omega in the corner. The discus lariat gets two on Omega (Striker: “HISTORY MADE TONIGHT!”) and now it’s Sabin in trouble in the corner for a change. Omega hits a Doctor Bomb for two on Sabin, who is right back up with a missile dropkick to Anderson.

Omega is up with the V Trigger to Swann but Moose catches him on top with a super Spanish Fly. Everyone is down again until Omega gets over for the hot tag to Gallows. The Boot of Doom gets two on Sabin with Swann making the save. Swann and Omega get the double tag for the big slugout with Omega getting the better of it. The other four fight outside until Moose pulls Omega off the top and into an electric chair.

Something close to a Doomsday Device gets two on Omega, with Callis teasing the save. Striker: “Some people think Callis has betrayed Impact Wrestling.” I actually had to sigh at how stupid that was so we’ll move on to Omega hitting the V Trigger on Swann. Some kicks put Omega down and the 450 gets two. The Magic Killer plants Swann and Moose has to make the save. Another V Trigger hits Moose and another V Trigger hits Swann, setting up the One Winged Angel for the pin at 20:26.

Rating: B. The wrestling itself was good, as expected, but it’s rather difficult to care about Impact when their World Champion is being presented as someone lucky enough to have Kenny Omega knee him in the face. Commentary here was a big love letter to AEW, which is being treated as the greatest thing ever as it reaches down to the unwashed masses of Impact. That may be true from a business standpoint, but why in the world is IMPACT acting like that is the case? It’s a good match and I think you know where this is heading, but could we act like Swann is close to Omega’s level? For five minutes maybe?

Omega and pals celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off rather badly but then it picked up a lot of steam just before the halfway point. The big matches worked rather well and completely saved the show, which is often how a show like this tends to go. They had a nice show, but there were some things that hurt it a bit, aside from the completely lackluster first hour or so.

First and foremost, the Omega worship was out of hand to start and is just getting worse. The main event didn’t make me want to see Swann vs. Omega. It made me think that Omega is treating Swann like a practice dummy, which is completely fitting for Omega. What it ISN’T fitting for is the commentary team, who seem to be in awe of Omega and treat their World Champion like a guy who won a contest. I know Omega is a bigger deal, but can we at least act like he might have trouble against the company’s World Champion?

Then you have Striker himself and…..I can’t believe it but he has gotten more annoying. Between acting like everything you see is the greatest thing that has ever happened, trying to turn every move into some brilliant strategy that ties back into some other move and name dropping EVERY SINGLE WRESTLER HE CAN THINK OF, Striker is one of the most irritating things I have ever seen on a wrestling show. It’s great to have someone who knows history, but there is a world of difference between sounding smart and being a distraction, which he was all night long.

Overall, the show did work well, but I’m worried about where this company is going in the future. They didn’t make some of their biggest stars look good in the main event and Striker is going to be as annoying as I could have ever imagined. There are some good things happening here, but if AEW is going to be a bigger presence, I’m going to be having flashbacks to New Japan coming in to Ring of Honor and leaving it as a near wasteland. They had a good show for the most part, but the future isn’t looking so bright.

Results

Decay b. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K – Tornado DDT to Kaleb With A K

Violent By Design b. Tommy Dreamer/Cousin Jake/Rhino – Piledriver to Deaner

Fire And Flava b. Havok/Nevaeh – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Nevaeh

Matt Cardona b. Ace Austin via DQ when Madman Fulton interfered

Manik b. Rohit Raju and Chris Bey – Rollup to Raju

Deonna Purrazzo b. Taya Valkyrie – Cosa Nostra

Karate Man b. Ethan Page – Fatality

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Emerald Flosion onto a barbed wire board

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers b. Rich Swann/Chris Sabin/Moose – One Winged Angel to Swann

 

 

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Hard To Kill 2021 Preview

We’re back with another Impact pay per view, even though the point seems to be to make another company’s World Champion look good. This time around the focal point is the invading Kenny Omega, will will team with the Good Brothers against Impact World Champion Rich Swann, Chris Sabin and Moose, after Alex Shelley was forced out of the show for unclear reasons. The rest of the card looks ok so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Brian Myers vs. Josh Alexander

This was thrown in this week on Impact since every pay per view needs a pre-show match these days. Myers beat Alexander via DQ and bragged about it so we’re having this for the sake of shutting him up. I’m not sure what Impact sees in Myers but there are far worse places he could be than in the pre-show match. Alexander is going to need a boost soon so we could have something going here.

I’m going to take Alexander here as there is no reason for this to drag on for another match. As much as he has been featured, Myers isn’t being pushed to the moon so they aren’t likely to give him anything here. The match will likely be on about the same level as a regular TV match and that’s all it needs to be given where they are here. It probably didn’t need to be here, but Alexander can get your attention well enough.

Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering vs. Tommy Dreamer/Rhino/Cousin Jake

It isn’t a good sign when my first reaction to a match is “at least they’re keeping it all here” but that’s about as good as I can go with this. We have Dreamer being Dreamer, the epic Deaners split, Doering (he was big in Japan, right up there with Jesse and the Rippers) and Young as some kind of mastermind because this company loves him very much. It’s also Old School rules, because they can’t say Extreme and Dreamer can’t do much else.

I’ll go with Young and company as for some reason this seems to be one of the upcoming big things. Young is tolerable enough in some spots, though the love affair with Doering isn’t exactly doing much for me. Adding in the turned Deaner isn’t going to make things better, but if they can keep all of this stuff crammed into one match, it could be a lot worse than what we’re getting.

Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

This feud MUST continue and this time it’s Barbed Wire Massacre because when you think Edwards, you need something like this thrown in. I know this is viewed as some legendary rivalry but it feels like they are just warming it up because neither has anything to do. Edwards is able to carry almost anything to at least watchable, but as soon as I heard the barbed wire deal, I could hear Josh Matthews with his machine gun delivery taking away any impact it might have.

Give me Callihan to win, likely thanks to Ken Shamrock because we need another evil alliance to triumph. Shamrock and Callihan are somewhat intriguing, but I don’t need a Barbed Wire Massacre to make it work. The match should be good enough and odds are Alisha will get involved, but I’ve been over this feud for a good while now because it ran out of steam years ago.

Ethan Page vs. Karate Man

We continue with the “why is this a thing” section, but in this case Page has so much charisma that he can manage to face himself and make it work. I’m going to assume this is a cinematic match and Page’s way out of the promotion, but you never know with something like this. The Karate Man stuff alone is always worth a look, but I’m almost scared of what to see here.

Since they’re facing each other, I’ll go with Karate Man to win and get rid of Page once and for all, which should make your head spin at least a little bit. There is a chance that we could be in for some good jokes here and under the right circumstances, this could be one of the best things on the entire show. Page is awesome at his goofy stuff, and hopefully he gets to showcase himself well on the way out.

X-Division Title: Manik(c) vs. Chris Bey vs. Rohit Raju

This is part of one of those stories that works out well almost every time because it’s a classic. Bey and Raju are convinced that Manik is TJP (because Manik is TJP) but can’t beat him or prove it, meaning their frustration factor has increased about 17 fold. Now it’s a free for all for the title, which opens up a few interesting doors as they could go in a few different directions.

I think they’ll play it safe here and have Manik retain the title because there are more places to go with something like this. Manik is someone who can have a good match with anyone and Bey is one of the better young stars around here. Raju has been rather nice as well lately, so we could be in for something good. This might be the match with the most promise on the whole show and I can’t say I’m surprised.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Nevaeh/Havok vs. Kiera Hogan/Tasha Steelz

Who would have thought that a tournament for the vacant titles would come down to two of the only regular teams who happened to be feuding for weeks before the tournament started? Hogan and Steelz have done a nice job of being the most annoying heels imaginable, which made Havok and Nevaeh grabbing them by their throats that much better. This was almost a guarantee for the final, so at least they’re doing the logical thing.

I’ll take Havok and Nevaeh to win here as you need some faces to win on this show. It isn’t the most intriguing match on the show but it was the only way to go to get to the tournament finals. I’m not sure how far these titles can go as WWE hasn’t been able to make theirs work for years now. The match will be the same thing that we’ve seen several times between them now but….yay belts?

Rosemary/Crazzy Steve vs. Tenille Dashwood/Kaleb With A K

This seems to have been added near the last minute and I’m still trying to make myself care about Dashwood. The Instagram deal is fine, but it feels like something you would see at a tiny independent promotion because it’s that easy of a story. There is no doubt that the talent is there, but for some reason it isn’t clicking. You can only get so far with something like this though and I think we’ve reached her current limit.

I don’t see a reason for Kaleb With A K and Dashwood to win here, even though they need it a lot more. Rosemary seems to be building up something with Susan, so unless she interferes and costs them the match, I don’t see a reason to have Rosemary and Steve lose here. The match itself should be another TV level match, which is quite the trend for most of this show.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo(c) vs. Taya Valkyrie

The Knockouts singles division has done well enough for itself in recent months and Purrazzo is awesome as the technical wizard champion. Valkyrie is almost the old guard in a way, despite her title reign not even feeling all that long ago. While her big reign is over, Valkyrie can go in the ring with anyone and Purrazzo is one of the best things going in the company today.

Purrazzo being one of the best things going today is more than enough to keep the title on her here. Beating Valkyrie is more along the lines of beating a challenger of the month, but she just happens to be a really successful challenger of the month. It means something to beat her though and Purrazzo can continue her reign with another rather nice win added to her list.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Rich Swann/Chris Sabin/Moose

This whole invasion (if that’s what you call Omega and Omega alone showing up from AEW) is making me think of Lando Calrissian saying “this deal is getting worse all the time”. So far, the highlight of the feud for Impact is their World Champion escaping with a pin over their Tag Team Champion. Omega and Don Callis have been treated as stars who are gracing Impact with their presence. I know it gives Impact exposure, but this is feeling more like New Japan coming to Ring of Honor every day (and that’s not a good thing).

Of course Omega and the Good Brothers win here, because why would they lose here? I know this is probably heading towards Omega taking the Impact World Title, as that is the best way to continue making Impact look like they don’t compare to AEW in any way. Yes AEW is more important and Omega is a bigger star, but sweet goodness could Impact look much worse so far?

Overall Thoughts

This show looks pretty dreadful on paper as there is nothing of note to look forward to. I’m sure some of the matches will work as Impact tends to shine when they just go to the ring and focus on the wrestling, but nothing on here really jumps out. Hopefully the show winds up working, because this feels like they have almost no reason to do this show other than they have to. It will likely be good enough, but they need to work on spicing things up.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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