Wrestlemania 27
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Keri Hilson

Well here we are. It’s the biggest night of the year and we’re heading to Georgia for the first time in Mania history. The main events are John Cena vs. The Miz for the Raw Title, Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the SD Title and HHH vs. Undertaker (not II of course). This is the night we’ve all looked forward to, and there’s that Rock guy here too. Let’s get to it.

The dark match was the US Title match but it turned into a non-title battle royal with Khali eliminating Sheamus to end it. I’m assuming the US Title match will be later.

Note that this is being written live so please excuse any marking out moments.

Keri Hilson, some singer I don’t know, sings America the Beautiful.

The voiceover guy here is like an old vaudeville voice which is kind of cool. Up first: here’s THE ROCK! The Great One looks…well great. The arena looks awesome too. Actually it’s a stadium but whatever. After posing forever he teases the FINALLY before hitting it. Bunch of Fruity Pebbles signs in the crowd. Rock promises this will be electrifying. Time for a little game: the Rock says Yabba, the people say Dabba. This somehow takes up FIFTEEN MINUTES overall and he does a huge IF YA SMELL to end it.

Video about the major moments in Mania history and the big ones tonight. Standard awesome intro video. I know they were cutting out the wrestling but this is ridiculous.

There’s the traditional big fireworks display and we get a match!

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

WHAT THE HECK??? THIS IS THE OPENING MATCH??? The intro is great for Alberto as the video where the car comes from is designed to look like his driveway at his estate so he’s driving out of it. That’s awesome. Clay is here with Alberto. Here’s Christian to back up Edge. I think shenanigans may be afoot. This gets the big match intros because it’s a big match. Can’t fault their logic there.

I’m watching on a stream so I’ll do my best on the times but I make no guarantees on their accuracy other than in general. Edge fires away early on as Cole talks about the arm. Naturally that triggers an attack on said arm which is in trouble early. The arm work continues as is intelligent. Alberto goes to the floor so Edge flips forward over the ropes and lands mostly on Del Rio in a cool spot.

As the champion comes back in though Del Rio pulls him off the top in an armbar. The Cross Armbreaker is countered into the Edge-O-Matic as Edge gets two. Out of nowhere the armbreaker goes on but Edge rolls through to escape. Dueling chants begin. Edge goes up again but Del Rio gets the running enziguri to take him down for two. Christian and Clay get into it and Christian goes flying via a suplex.

Edgecution sets up the attempted spear but Alberto avoids. He stops in the corner and Clay grabs the arm and rams it into the post. The armbreaker goes on full force after a bit of a block. Edge reverses into a rollup/cradle move that makes Alberto break it up to escape. Edge gets the Edgecator and Alberto is in trouble. Clay tries to come in but Christian gets the tornado DDT off the apron to the floor to take him down. Del Rio escapes but walks into the spear to end this at approximately 11:00. Wow that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but dude, 11 minutes for this? That’s in the level of Cena/JBL at Mania 21. Not a bad match but it felt like a match that could have easily been on Smackdown as a regular main event. Alberto didn’t need to get the title yet so at least the right man won. Still though, 11 minutes?

Edge beats up the Rolls Royce post match. By that I mean he destroys it with a crowbar. Why Alberto doesn’t go after it is beyond me. Alberto yells for Christian for some reason. Oh ok Christian was helping with a ball bat. I need to pay more attention.

Cole talks about being in the main event and is in a suit, as is Jerry. They….they couldn’t really be putting that on last could they?

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

 

As Rhodes comes to the ring we get the video recap of this. In short, Rey hit Cody with a 619 with a metal knee brace that Cody exposed earlier in the match, injuring the Dashing features of Cody. If this is a few years later, look up Dashing Cody Rhodes for an awesome heel in 2010. Rey’s character this year: Captain America. Ok that’s not bad.

Rey “helps” Cody take the jacket off as Cody is all afraid of being seen. Rana takes Cody down but a shoulder block shifts the momentum immediately. Cody immediately goes for the knee which is a bit odd but whatever. Beautiful Disaster leaves Rey seemingly dead but it only gets two. I could definitely see this being the modern Bob Orton injury angle which could work for months if played up right.

A rana is eventually countered into the Alabama Slam for two. That’s one of the things I like about Cody: he incorporates things from his past into his offense, which is a sign of him growing. Also he stopped having the big Triforces on his boots which was definitely a face thing. Cody gives Rey a neck massage which I’d assume is to get his arms tingling right?

Mysterio tries to speed things up a bit but gets caught on top and it’s a delayed vertical suplex from the middle rope which is pretty awesome. That only gets two though. The crowd is mostly into this but is kind of quiet. Granted that’s what a superhero comeback is all about. Cross Rhodes is avoided and we hit the floor for a bit with Cody’s face being sent into the apron.

Back in the ring and a seated senton means we speed things up a little. Rey kind of looks like something you would see in a Captain America cosplay contest. Wheelbarrow suplex by Cody gets two. Rey finally gets him in 619 position but it gets caught and Cody hits a slingshot to send Rey’s throat/chest into the middle rope for two. Cody tries to take the knee brace off and manages to get it, meaning Rey’s knees are about to snap like a Kit Kat.

Rey fights him off to a bit and gets a moonsault press for two. Cody’s mask comes off and he gets sent into the 619 position. You can see Rey’s not moving the same without the knee brace. Rey goes up but the splash meets knees. Big kick to the head gets only two as this is a good match. Rey puts Cody’s mask on and I’m not sure if Cody knows it or not. Rey gets some running headbutts to send Cody reeling and a swan dive gets….two. Wow I would have thought that was the finish. The referee throws the knee brace out and Cody hits Cross Rhodes for the shocking (but good) pin at approximately 12:15.

Rating: B. I was into this and it was a solid match. Also, thank goodness Cody won here so he can continue his Phantom of the Opera kind of thing. I’m very pleased with this as Cody continues to be one of the best guys in the company at this point. I’d love to see him get a quick title feud with Edge but I doubt it’ll happen.

Snoop Dogg is with Teddy Long and Snoop is looking for talent for a tour he’s got coming up. Teddy has some WWE talent to audition for him. Regal does a rap and it’s again hilarious. Khali and Beth Phoenix do a song from Grease and get hooked more or less. Zach Ryder sings something that is apparently from a chick named Rebecca Black and Roddy Piper hits him with what might have been a coconut. Piper looks good.

Tatsu and Masters do We Will Rock You with Masters doing the pec dance to the drums. Horny is going to do a rap apparently but he can’t talk. Teddy and Snoop leave and Horny raps while the Bellas dance. At least we got the good looking twins.

Corre vs. Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show/Kane

 

The change of Kozlov to Kingston was kind of a surprise but I’m pretty sure if was officially announced. I can’t complain a bit there either as Kofi should be on the card. Santino vs. Slater to start us off here. Big kick by Santino misses so it’s off to Show who cleans a few rooms. You can’t really say cleans house for one guy.

Show rams into Slater in the corner but Jackson runs him over. Everything breaks down almost immediately and Barrett takes Trouble in Paradise. This is moving around too fast to call. Cobra time and it hits Santino. The Knockout Punch ends Slater and the match in about 1:40. Yeah there was a point to this. No rating of course. That punch was SICK in the replay.

Rock hits on Eve in his first appearance in 45 minutes. He talks about making magical moments. For instance whoever comes around the corner next (without Rock looking) is going to get a magical moment with Rock. And it’s Mae Young. I was thinking it would be her. She wants the People’s Strudel. Rock says that Mae should be after Moses’ strudel. Rock have Eve escort Mae to her seat. Mae spanks Rock for fun.

Rock does the around the corner thing again and IT’S AUSTIN!!!! I was hoping this would happen as it flat out needed to be done. This is like an old western. They’re both retired and it’s an incredible moment to say the least. They shake hands and say it was good to see each other. Totally AWESOME moment here and something that absolutely had to happen.

We recap Punk vs. Orton. In short, Orton punted Punk in the head two years earlier and cost Punk the title. Punk waited two years to get his revenge and sent the New Nexus after him. This more or less crippled the entire feud as it just died when Orton ran through Nexus the entire time. Oh and Orton had a bus for some reason and Punk hit him in the knee with a pipe or something so the leg is bad.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

 

Punk goes for the knee early but that gets him clotheslined. Out to the floor and Punk is sent into the steps but he jumps/steps over them which I don’t remember seeing before. He kicks the steps into the knee of Orton to take over. The fans chant for Orton as Punk hits a top rope cross body for two.

Orton fires back with the backbreaker and Punk is down a bit. He tries to fight out of the corner but Punk gets something like a jawbreaker onto the knee. That’s a new one. Orton gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk hammers away. Punk gives the sign for the GTS which of course doesn’t work as Punk does what any idiot villain does and walks around before he tries anything.

Randy escapes over the back and tries the RKO but gets kicked in the head for two instead. Punk goes to the outside but gets crotched. His reaction is awesome to say the least. The fans want a DDT off the top so Orton goes up. And the fans get something similar in the form of a superplex for two in a NICE callback to Orton’s papa (that was Bob’s finisher).

Punk fights back and actually gets the figure four around the post and does it to the correct leg! Leg lock back in the ring and it’s almost an Indian Deathlock. Orton fights out and gets the Angle Slam. Finally Cole doesn’t call it something stupid. Orton goes insane again and hits the Thesz Press to ZERO reaction. Punk fires back with kicks and a leg sweep and there’s the Anaconda Vice! The hold makes no sense given the knee work but it’s not going to be the finish anyway.

Orton is in trouble but he manages to roll out of it and into the ropes in a nice little counter. Punk goes to the apron and stands on the bottom rope because he’s not that intelligent. He gets sent into the post and the elevated DDT takes him down. Orton slams the mat and doesn’t break his arm this time. The face is awesome to say the least. He takes FOREVER though and you know it’s not hitting here.

Instead he backs up for the one legged punt because you know he can get a running start after not being able to stand a few minutes ago. Thank goodness Orton falls down on the approach. Punk looks all psycho and his hair is even freakier. He goes over to Punk and gets….not caught in the RKO as Punk shot out of the back. I thought it was a botch but that was intentional. Here’s your big RKO spot as Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into a nice RKO to end it at 14:40.

Rating: B-. I’m not a fan of Orton but this was pretty good stuff. They gave it some time and the knee worked pretty well as Punk went into the air rather than having to jump. Pretty good here but you kind of have to wonder where this goes from here as well as where Punk goes. Granted that’s the point of watching tomorrow I guess.

Rock is with Gene Okerlund (do your own caps) who says that Cena’s #1 fan is coming here to confront Rock tonight. And it’s Pee Wee Herman. Gene wears Cena gear and Herman does the Rock’s line. I don’t care for Herman so this was nothing at all.

Hall of Fame time. Abdullah can barely walk.

Sunny looks good for the most part. She needs to just flash the crowd and get it over with.

Animal in a tux looks weird. Ellering is there too, complete with sunglasses.

Drew Carey is murdered by the crowd and rightfully so.

Armstrong gets no reaction at all, probably because no one knows who he is.

Duggan gets a nice ovation and there’s a bowtie on his 2×4.

And now for the one that matters. Yep the roof is gone.

We get a Wrestlemania Recall….which is from Raw. It’s Cole throwing soda in Lawler’s face. I hope this is next and it is.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

 

Booker T and JR are on commentary with Josh. They both get intros, I guess to buy the guys time. As JR is coming to the ring, Cole interrupts him, complete with an orange hoodie and headgear and shorts. I give up. Cole runs his mouth about Lawler being old and all that jazz. Oh and he runs down the barbecue sauce. Well at least this isn’t the main event like they hinted at. Cole keeps stalling for time for Lawler which is fine.

Swagger comes out to no reaction at all. We get the pushups but in mid push the glass shatters and Austin is here with ATV and I think a new shirt. Cole took off the hoodie and is in a singlet. For no apparent reason Cole jumps off the apron when Austin is charging around it and has to hide in the box. Lawler comes out to his regular music thank goodness. He looks a bit like Shawn with his attire.

Somehow this is the best built match of the night. Lawler is in his usual attire in the ring as Cole stands on his desk in the Cole Mine to warm up. Austin says ring the bell and sends Lawler after Cole. Swagger charges and gets sent into the post and then the barrier. Cole begs off and is close enough to a mic for us to hear him. He offers a handshake through a hole in the box. Is that like a glory hole for idiots?

Lawler pulls on Cole’s hand and rams his head into the box. Jerry finally climbs into the freaking box and beats the heck out of Cole. This is awesome. Jerry destroys him and gets him out of the box. Into the GM podium he goes and Jerry tosses him into the ring. Swagger gets up and drills Jerry to put him down. Cole gets something close to a baseball slide to the send Jerry down.

Ankle lock by Swagger when Austin is distracted. The comeback for this is going to be awesome. Austin counts incredibly slowly and Cole works on the knee. Cole might have a 3 Stooges tattoo on his back. That’s something I really didn’t want to know. The fans say Cole can’t wrestle. Well he’s not a wrestler so I think that’s ok. The fans think this is nonsense. Such an impatient generation.

Cole tries a Vader Bomb (screw that Swagger Bomb stuff) from the bottom rope and Jerry powers out of it. Jerry gets some punches in but Cole goes back to the leg. The fans say boring so Cole pulls a strap down and puts on the AnCole Lock. Jerry doesn’t seem to mind and kicks Cole off to wake up the crowd. He walks it off and Cole is caught.

A mudhole is stomped….kind of. Swagger throws in the towel and Austin is like WHAT? There’s a Stunner for Swagger as the fans are way into it now. And now it is time to pay. Austin looks at his watch and Cole slaps his hand away and SHOVES AUSTIN. Big right hand by Lawler and the beating is on.

The fans get behind Lawler as the punches come in hard and there’s a dropkick. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down it’s a jumping punch from the middle rope. That gets two as Jerry pulls him up. This has to end with the Piledriver. Jerry grabs the ankle lock and Cole taps. Austin makes sure it’s really a tap in a funny bit. Cole insists he gives up and there’s the bell. Dang it that should have been the Piledriver but the ankle lock ends it at approximately 14:00.

Rating: C. This was a letdown for me. First of all the ankle lock was a pretty weak finisher and Cole was on offense too long. It wasn’t bad but they needed to change a few things out there to really make it awesome. This needed a Piledriver but I can understand Cole being afraid to take it or whatever.

Post match it’s time for a beer bash and Booker gets in the ring. Jerry takes a beer but doesn’t drink it (he’s a known non-drinker). There’s a spinarooni for Mania and why is this about Booker T again? Stunner to Booker and more beer is consumed. Jerry hasn’t drank any it seems. We get an E-Mail of all things to interrupt this. The referee overstepped his boundaries and the winner is Michael Cole by DQ. Please let this be a late April Fool’s joke. Amazingly it’s not and Matthews gets a Stunner. And the show is officially killed.

This should have been easy and they screwed it up. I’m in awe of their utter stupidity here.

We get a video of Wrestlemania Week and I do not care. I’m still stunned at the utter stupidity of what they just did.

Lawler and Ross are on commentary now which is cool but they couldn’t do that without the whole stupidity thing there? Yes I’m harping on it but man that was idiotic.

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with a package we’ve seen a dozen or so times now. In short, HHH wants to break the Streak because there’s nothing else for him to do.

Undertaker vs. HHH

 

There’s a rock version of Taker’s theme which is WAY too up tempo for him. Oh wait that’s for HHH. Oh man it’s For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. That’s cool but dude, it’s HHH. Ah there’s All About the Game. That’s more like it. He has an army and a crown and yeah you get where this is going. Still cool though. Taker does his usual awesome entrance to Johnny Cash.

The song loops as the entrance takes too long. Or maybe that was just the second verse. The lightning goes off when Taker removes his hat. The crowd is surprisingly quiet. This is no holds barred and they slug it out immediately. Taker grabs him by the head and fires him over the top with ease. We go to the floor and HHH actually wins a fistfight. His reward is being thrown into the steps.

We set up the announce table (Spanish of course) but HHH spears Taker into the Cole Mine to destroy it and put Taker down. Taker looks up at HHH and is all ticked off. Back in the ring and they slug it out again. Taker works on the shoulder and here comes Old School. That of course doesn’t work but this time you can’t blame it on him shouting OLD SCHOOL at least. Another clothesline sends Taker to the floor as HHH is favoring his left arm.

Now they set up the American announce table as Lawler is in an Austin shirt. Pedigree is countered as is the chokeslam but there’s a backdrop off the table to the floor and he’s holding that arm and wrist again. Oh yeah that thing slammed into the ground HARD. The fans chant 19-0 as the match more or less stops. Taker busts out the Taker Dive which at least cleared the ropes and hit HHH. It wasn’t great but at least he hit a person and not the floor.

We start using the steps and someone shouts about Shawn either being here or not being here to save HHH. Taker sets for a tombstone I think but gets countered and hit with a headbutt. Taker tries a running charge but gets caught by a spinebuster into the table/through the table, whichever you prefer. This has been big spot, lay down, big spot, lay down for about 8 minutes now.

Back in the ring and a chokeslam gets two. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets rammed into the corner. More dueling chants begin and HHH fires away with punches in the corner. Taker tries the Last Ride but HHH counters in a nice callback to Mania X7 (which had nothing to do with these two facing each other. That’s never happened at Mania. Silly people) Pedigree is reversed as is a big boot to the face, the latter being via a spinebuster for two.

HHH goes to the floor and grabs a chair which of course goes across the Game’s back. Pedigree out of nowhere gets two. Last Ride gets a long two as we’re in that same formula from earlier. Taker gives the throat slit but the Tombstone is of course….not reversed for two. HHH kicked out of the tongue sticking out thing! I know they’re wanting this to be epic and while it’s good they feel like they’re trying to be epic rather than actually being epic.

Taker sets for another Tombstone, this time on the chair. Instead it’s a DDT mostly on the chair to put both guys down. Somehow this has been going almost 20 minutes. They both struggle to their feet and there’s a decent Pedigree for a long two. If Scott Armstrong didn’t have the biggest hitch in his count this side of something with a very large hitch in his count, this would have been over a long time ago.

A third Pedigree is kicked out of as this is bordering on stupid here. We get it: you can kick out of the Pedigree now DO SOMETHING ELSE! Both guys are down and HHH gets the chair. BIG chair shot to the head of Taker and he’s in big trouble. Taker does his best Terry Funk shaking impression as HHH shouts what’s wrong with you. He gets grabbed by the throat for his troubles but Taker can’t hold it.

Taker says bring it on so HHH does a throat slit. Tombstone hits Taker and of course it gets two. They try to play this off as some huge thing but dude, no one thought that was going to end it. HHH goes to the floor and it’s sledgehammer time. HHH holds up the hammer but Taker pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate and HHH is in trouble. He drops the hammer and is in big trouble. HHH tries to stand but is fading fast. He gets the hammer again but can’t get a shot to the head. HHH TAPS OUT to end this at approximately 29:10 but I had some stream issues so I’m not sure how accurate that is to the second.

Rating: B. Well it was brutal, but at the same time did anyone really believe this was ending with anything other than a big sign that said 19-0? The whole big spot rest big spot rest got really annoying and it made the match feel a lot longer than it should have. Good stuff, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time it ran too long and that hurt it in my eyes.

Taker gets checked out by a trainer post match and they do the big exit with both of them leaving at the same time. Taker can barely walk and keeps falling down. He falls down next to the ring and they have to get a cart to take him out. I’m not sure if this is legit or not but I’m leaning towards it being so.

Good time for a Don’t Try This at Home no?

Wrestlemania 28 will be in Miami as we all knew.

Laycool/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki

 

Please….make it short. Dolph is officially the business associate. Not sure if they had covered that before but it’s official here. At least Laycool looks incredible. Trish should never be allowed to not wear leather. And here’s the draw, Snooki. Oh dear. Well I guess she’s an improvement over Bieber. I can’t wait for like three years from now when this is totally dated.

The girls go at it early and the guys pull them off. Trish and Michelle start us off officially. Trish tries to tag in Snooki early but I think the small one doesn’t want in. Matrish leads to an attempt at a Faithbreaker but Trish counters into a facejam. McCool counters the Stratusphere and they fight on the buckle with both crashing to the floor. Everything breaks down and Morrison hits Starship Pain to the floor to take out Ziggler.

Off to Snooki and let the booing begin. She does a handspring elbow into the corner which is still a stupid move. A cartwheel into the WORST SPLASH EVER ends McCool at 3:15. Snooki was in the match for a total of 12 seconds. Note to future girls wanting to be a Diva: don’t bother marrying Undertaker or working to become awesome. Get on a bad reality show and get in fights in bars. You’ll get wins at Mania. No rating due to it being short and it ticking me off. Match was nothing special to say the absolute least. Perhaps the worst celebrity match ever.

There’s a new attendance record for the Georgia Dome of 71,617. That’s always cool to hear.

It’s time for the main event of Cena vs. Miz. Yes, the Miz is wrestling in the main event of Wrestlemania. BE JEALOUS! No recap at all and it’s time to go. I guess we’re running behind. Ah ok here’s a package as we see Miz’s rise to the top and interspersed with various world title wins at Mania. Miz is looking at a screen watching all this. We get the DEMON CHILD and clips of him on Real World and Tough Enough and doing all kinds of stupid things before he got serious and AWESOME as a result.

This gets the music video treatment about how everyone hates Miz but he keeps winning. Miz having his back to the camera the entire time is great. This transitions into a video about the feud with Miz constantly getting the better of Cena.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

 

Miz runs through some things that look like balloons saying AWESOME. This is MIz’s moment and it’s working. Riley has the varsity jacket with him here and Miz has his coat also. Must be chilly in Atlanta. Cena’s big entrance this year: a full on gospel choir. We actually have a prayer with clips of Cena growing up and being awesome I guess. They actually say Jesus here which is a bit different. This takes a long time also, as has everything else tonight. After the prayer the choir actually sings Cena’s theme in full on gospel style. And then he sprints to the ring in a new shirt.

Cena is of course mostly booed out of the building. This is listed as Cena’s 8^th straight Mania main event which is a relative term as some of them were in the middle of the card. The bell rings twice for no apparent reason and they lock up. Miz controls early but Cena gets a hip block to get us back to even. Cena with some nice technique to get a headlock but that doesn’t last long.

They’re in a long feeling out period here and Miz stomps away to end that. Miz takes over with basic stuff but gets caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Miz misses his running clothesline in the corner which hit earlier. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Big boot to the head of Cena gets two. They botch something so Miz gets a dropkick to the ribs to send Cena to the floor.

Back in the ring and Cena starts his finishing sequence but can’t get the FU. Short DDT gets two for the champion. A Let’s Go Miz chant starts up as he escapes the STFU and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Miz unhooks the buckle which gets him nowhere. Cena gets the STF but Miz grabs the rope. Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle and Miz gets the Skull Crushing Finale for a long two.

Down goes the referee and wouldn’t you know it that it hits just a second before the FU. Riley comes in with the briefcase and down goes Cena again. Naturally that only gets two as the fans are finally back into this. Miz goes for the case but hits Riley and walks into a HUGE Attitude Adjustment for TWO! Wow I would have bet on that being the ending there.

Out to the floor and Cena kills him with a running clothesline to send him over the barricade. Big old spear onto the concrete by the fans and that looked sick. They’re both dead and this is going to be a double count out. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? This can’t be. That had better be a legit injury or we’re not done yet.

And here’s Rock to make sure this doesn’t suck. There’s an e-mail and Rock says that it doesn’t matter what the GM thinks so this is restarting, no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena goes for the FU immediately but walks into the Rock Bottom and MIZ RETAINS!!! The pin was at 19:30 overall, counting the big stoppage.

Rating: C-. Even with the ending this was still pretty boring. They’re not hurt which is always a good thing but dude, did we need a false finish in something like this? It’s the main event of Wrestlemania for crying out loud. I get that you needed Rock out there, but make something better than that. I’m not impressed here at all which is hard to do with me at Mania

Miz holds up the title post match and Rock looks at him. The beatdown is on and it’s a People’s Elbow for Miz.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a VERY hit or miss Mania and it’s going to have a very mixed reaction I think. A lot of the booking is just kind of out there, namely Cole/Lawler. I get that they’re setting up for future shows but at the same time this is WRESTLEMANIA! There’s some good stuff but nowhere near enough to make this really work.

There are times when you just do certain things and this is one of them. Not impressed here at all and this is a huge fall down from last year. Rock helped, but there’s only so much he can do. Summerslam and Raw tomorrow better be AMAZING. The ending helps this but certainly doesn’t save it. WAY too rushed of a show and that’s the downfall of it. I’ll probably have more to say on it later but that’s my initial reaction.

Results

Edge b. Alberto Del Rio – Spear

Cody Rhodes b. Rey Mysterio – Cross Rhodes

Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella b. The Corre – Big Show pinned Slater after a punch

Randy Orton b. CM Punk – RKO

Michael Cole b. Jerry Lawler via DQ when Steve Austin got involved in the match

The Undertaker b. HHH – Hell’s Gate

Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus b. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler – Snooki pinned McCool after a splash

The Miz b. John Cena – Miz pinned Cena after a Rock Bottom from the Rock

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Barretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Primo and J. are sent out in the first thirty seconds but the ring is still really full. Henry puts out the Dudebusters and Chavo, only to get dumped by Khali. As you might expect, a bunch of people get together to put Khali out as well. Cryme Tyme gets together to put out Gallows but Shad eliminates JTG. Things settle down for a change but there are still too many people in there.

Rating: D+. This would be the traditional not great battle royal but it was cool to see someone young getting a win for a change. You could see a lot of new names showing up around the company, though a lot of them really never went anywhere. Unfortunately that would include Tatsu, who never went much higher than this, partially due to ECW not being around to take away some of the roster spots.

We open with another fly over.

Fantasia (from American Idol) sings America the Beautiful.

Tag Team Titles: R-Truth/John Morrison vs. The Miz/Big Show

Video on Wrestlemania week in Phoenix.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Extreme Rules ad.

Sheamus vs. HHH

Two straight Irish Curse backbreakers put HHH down as the match slows a lot. An ax handle gets two and some simple right hands to the face get the same. We hit the chinlock because this is the point in a WWE style match where you would put on a chinlock. After a powerslam, Sheamus grabs an armbar. Dude come on. HHH fights up out of the devastating armbar (because nothing else had been done to his arm) and grabs a DDT.

The high knee and facebuster get two but Sheamus counters the Pedigree into the Brogue Kick for two (of course HHH gets to be one of if not the first person to kick out of it). After the spinebuster sends Sheamus to the apron, another Brogue Kick drops HHH. No cover though as HHH pops up and hits the Pedigree for the pin at 12:10.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk holds him down with a test of strength grip until Rey fights up and springboards to the top for a moonsault into a DDT (that looked way better than I was expecting). Another moonsault is caught in the GTS (Go To Sleep) but Rey grabs the rope to save himself. Rey kicks him down and tries a frog splash but Punk sits up just in time. Back up and Serena saves Punk from a 619, only to have it connect a few seconds later, setting up the springboard splash for the pin at 6:30.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Bret punches it out of his hand though and beats on him for a bit, followed by stomping away at the “lower abdomen”. Someone throws Bret a chair so he can have a seat for a bit. Bret beats on him with the chair for a good while and Vince appears to be in shock. The Sharpshooter finally makes Vince tap at 11:09.

Rating: A. This was all it needed to be and exactly what people were expecting. Neither guy is a wrestler anymore so having the Hart Family, especially Kidd and Hart-Smith, helped a good bit. There was never any doubt as to what this was going to be and while it went a bit longer than it needed to, it did everything it needed to.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Atlanta. Cole promises a great guest host.

The attendance is 72,219, again not announced as a record.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Maryse/Michelle McCool/Alicia Fox/Layla/Vickie Guerrero vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Rating: D. Well at least it was quick. The Divas were in a weird place here as they were trying to find a new top name but everyone was kind of getting lost in the shuffle. Laycool (Layla and Michelle) were trying but they needed some top stars. Kelly eventually became the main star, even though she was just a model who could only kind of work a match. Anyway, this was a nothing match that was only there for the Vickie stuff, which was another problem around this time.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista gets into his gloating power offense but Cena grabs a quick suplex to get a breather. An early AA attempt is countered into a DDT for two and now Batista gets his real advantage. We hit the chinlock with a body scissors (Striker: “Look at this potential submission hold!” Just stop. Please.) but Cena fights up and wins a slugout, only to get caught in a neckbreaker. Now we get the real Cena comeback with all his usual stuff, including the STF which sends Batista crawling to the ropes. A quick spear gets two for the champ and both guys are down.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and no countout. Shawn just walks down but Undertaker makes his big entrance by rising up through the stage. Shawn breaks up the staredown with a throat slit of his own so Undertaker pounds on him in the corner early. Snake Eyes and the big boot set up Old School but Undertaker might have tweaked his knee. Shawn goes right after the knee to break up a chokeslam and starts in on the arm for some reason. Striker: “Shawn Michaels is very adept at submission grappling.” For the love of all things good and holy will someone SHUT HIM UP???

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo:

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/04/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvi-goodbye-mr-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

The opening video is about how several long careers have led here. Bret Hart is also back tonight in a match with Vince McMahon. This is one of the first times where there was a big push on the idea of making a Wrestlemania moment.

The theme song is I Made It by Kevin Rudolf. This one really grew on me over the years.

Tag Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

We look at WWE taking over Phoenix.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

Orton fights them both off to start before bailing to the floor. This is a glorified handicap match in the early going. Orton gets Rhodes down on the floor and stomps away on DiBiase back inside. Cody gets back in though and the two on one beating is on, drawing really solid heat. Lawler says these stomps are like the ones Orton uses. Uh, yeah King. I can clearly see the similarities in kicking somebody.

Legacy goes at it and brawls to the floor and Orton gets back into things. He takes both guys down with his usual finishing sequence but DiBiase breaks up the RKO on Rhodes. Cody tries a dive but Orton sidesteps it, sending Rhodes into DiBiase. They come back in and walk into a double Elevated DDT, sending Orton into “that place.” With DiBiase watching, Orton Punts Rhodes and then counters Dream Street into the RKO for the pin on Ted.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Christian and Matt go up but Kofi (in the rare white trunks) makes the save. Ziggler hits a kind of Zig Zag off the ladder to Christian but Kane and MVP get back inside. Things are already really congested here. Kane is put into the corner and has a ladder rammed into his ribs. Kofi stumbles up the ladder and falls onto the steel. Shelton comes in with Paydirt to MVP and loads up the big ladder, only to be stabbed with a ladder by Swagger. Jack winds up inside the ladder and gets speared from either side with the tops of ladders between the rungs of the big ladder by Christian and Matt.

Now the ladders Matt and Christian used are bridged across the top rope like a big cross kind of thing. Matt and Christian climb up while Bourne climbs up the side of the ladder. The ladder Matt is standing on falls out and Bourne kicks Christian down, but instead of GETTING THE CASE, Evan hits the Shooting Star on Christian. Now Matt stops Bourne but Swagger comes up and throws Matt onto the other bridged ladder, leaving everyone down.

MVP and Shelton go up but a rana by Benjamin send both guys out to the floor. Kane is the first person back inside but Ziggler makes the stop. He actually climbs over Kane but the big man shoves the ladder over to make the stop. A chokeslam onto the ladder has Dolph in trouble, much like Kane actually slamming the ladder onto Ziggler so hard he BREAKS THE LADDER. In the creative spot of the night, Kofi picks up the two broken pieces and walks on the like stilts.

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. Sheamus was the next big thing in late 2009 and won the WWE Title. HHH beat him inside the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus revealed that he had always wanted to be like HHH. This led to Sheamus attacking HHH over and over again, setting up the obvious match.

HHH vs. Sheamus

We hit an armbar of all things on the Game which shows off how different the skin tones of these guys are. HHH comes back with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and a DDT for the same. Back up and the high knee sets up the facebuster for two but the Pedigree is countered with a leg trip. They fight to the corner but Sheamus slips between the legs to try the High Cross, only to be countered into the Pedigree. That gets countered as well and the yet to be named Brogue Kick gets two.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here with Sheamus looking more than good in his first Wrestlemania match. This was a good way to make the pale one look good and the win over HHH the next month at Extreme Rules would make that even better. Sheamus was definitely here to stay which would become very clear in the near future.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey fights up but gets sent to the apron for a seated senton. A springboard seated senton is caught into a belly to belly and another counter into a rollup gets two. Punk counters a rana by flipping Rey onto his feet and hits the high kick for two. They grab a test of strength grip and Rey climbs the ropes and moonsaults into a DDT for two in a cool spot.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. Do you REALLY need an explanation for this one? Bret returned back in January and Vince kicked him low. Bret wanted a fight and pretended to break his leg in order to get Vince to fight him at Wrestlemania. Vince signed, Bret took the cast off, and the match was made.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

The real spear charges into a Codebreaker in an AWESOME counter. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two so Jericho goes after the recently repaired ankle. Now the Walls are put on again but Jericho shifts it over to a half crab which is the smart move here. Edge FINALLY makes a rope and even gets a rollup for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and as they head back in we lose the referee, allowing Jericho to hit Edge in the head with the belt for two. Not that it matters as the Codebreaker retains the title a few seconds later.

Post match Jericho tries to go after the ankle even more but Edge fights back and puts Jericho on the announce table. With a running start, Edge runs over two announce tables and spears Jericho off the table and through the barricade.

We look at the dark match battle royal, won by Yoshi Tatsu.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

A backdrop finally puts Batista down and there are the shoulder blocks to keep him down. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Batista pops up with his spinebuster to plant Cena. The Batista Bomb is countered into the STF though and Batista is in trouble. He finally makes the rope and comes back with a spear for two before sitting Cena on the top. In a cool spot they have a test of strength on the top with Cena slugging Batista down to the mat. Cena busts out a top rope Shuffle but Batista grabs the rope to block the AA.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

You can only win by pin or submission. They stare each other down and Shawn does the throat slit. Taker charges into some chops in the corner but Shawn is thrown into a Flair Flip in the corner, followed by snake eyes and the big boot. Old School is broken up a few times but the third try hits perfectly. The chokeslam is countered and Shawn goes after the leg. A quick Tombstone attempt is blocked and Shawn tries for the Crossface, only to be grabbed by the throat.

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania 26
Date: March 29, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America The Beautiful: Fantasia

Well, here we are. This has been one of the best hyped Manias in a LONG time and I could not wait for what was coming. Seriously, the card looked perfect and just about everyone that mattered was on it. The two biggest stars are fighting for the WWE Title. The Royal Rumble winner is fighting his former partner who turned on him.

Two legends are fighting in a career vs. streak match. This is old school booking at its finest and it’s worked like a charm. Pay attention Vince: keep things simple. Oh and Bret Hart and Vince are going to FINALLY end the Montreal Screwjob after over 12 years. Nothing major though. Let’s get to it.

Fantasia CANNOT SING. It sounds like an elephant stomping on my mother. The opening video is about everyone wanting to have their Wrestlemania moment. That’s the big thing indeed and that’s what it should be about. This is without a doubt the biggest night of the year and as JBL puts it the lights are on bright and everything is right here. That’s what Wrestlemania is all about: everyone wanting to steal the show.

It’s a beautiful thing and when it hits, there is nothing close to it in wrestling. They kind of run down the card without mentioning anything by name. This is really well done. That song I Made It is growing on me rapidly. It makes sense if nothing else so that’s all you need at times. Apparently this place is called the Toaster. Sure why not?

Unified Tag Titles: John Morrison/R-Truth vs. Big Show/Miz

Sweet GOODNESS there are some pretty ladies there. As X said, where are they the rest of the time? Yes, the pyro is cool in slow motion. Dang Miz’s theme music is awesome. Don’t expect a ton of criticism on this show as I thought it was awesome. The jacket on Miz…might be cool. I’m not sure though. I’d love to be the costume master for a company like this. It’s just awesome to get to pick the tights etc for these guys.

Imagine the memories of all of those various props and clothes in there. The ramp is really long so I have time to fill in here. We have a Spanish announce team. That and King being in a tux are nice things to get thrown out once in awhile. Now if only we had some John Wayne cufflinks. The arena looks awesome by the way. Apparently we’re in Romania for the first time ever tonight. Good show to start with I guess. Miz and Morrison start us off.

Morrison does that breakdancing legdrop of his. He’s athletic if nothing else. Show goes for maybe a Vader Bomb but Morrison kicks him in the head. This nearly kills Truth as Show falls backwards. Whose side is Morrison on here? Starship Pain misses. Show catches Truth’s plancha. That’s freaking insane. I mean Truth is a grown man and was coming down at Show. He just caught him. That’s insane. And Morrison goes for a springboard move and gets punched for the pin. What the heck was that?

Rating: D. This felt like about 4 minutes were edited out or something. It came from nowhere and just felt awkward. To be fair though, no one cared about this and it was just a way to get the tag titles on the show. Also, they knew this would be forgotten by the end of the show so why not just get it out of the way?

We recap the events of Mania week and it looks awesome. There was a golf tournament, an art show, and of course Axxess. Blast it looks awesome. Oh and there was a reading challenge too. Can’t beat that.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Remember, this is NOT a handicap match. DiBiase has the look far more than Rhodes does and it’s not even close. That could be due to the white boots he’s wearing that make him look like a freaking moron but that could just be me. Orton is WAY over. Thankfully the next night on Raw Vince got the hint and did the full face turn that he had been dying for the past few months. Remember, this is NOT a handicap match.

Everyone throws dropkicks to start. If nothing else Rhodes is cool for the Triforce. Legacy beats up Orton and you know what’s coming. Hey, did you know there are over 70,000 people there? We’re 20 minutes in and we’ve only mentioned that 8 times or so. Didn’t know if it was clear or not. Orton gets a few punches in and the place POPS. They try a leg sweep/clothesline combo but Rhodes completely misses his leg sweep.

Make that a chopblock as I forgot my move names there for a bit. Legacy EXPLODES! Rhodes channels his former jerk…I mean partner, Hardcore Holly, with an Alabama Slam. While DiBiase throws some bad punches at Rhodes, Orton gets up. In the coolest spot of the first hour or so, Orton hits the double DDT on Legacy. That was great , of which both members of Legacy have decent looking ones. Orton humps the mat as usual, waiting on Rhodes to get up.

No RKO though as Orton channels his inner Ray Guy (He’s a punter in the Hall of Fame. How weird does that sound?) and Rhodes is out for good. DiBiase goes for Dream Street but Orton gets a sweet little counter into the RKO and the POP! The fans love this guy to say the least. And we get the sweet pose. Love that thing.

Rating: D+. Not much here, but at the same time they did the right thing. Orton needed to beat these two to put them behind him and move on to a feud with a heel. The RKO got a pop so that’s all that matters. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. Oh and to all you morons that say one of Legacy should have gone over, you’re an idiot.

Don’t try this at home. I mean it. Do it at school or at your aunt’s house. Just DO NOT TO IT AT HOME!

Vickie and her heel Divas talk about their match. I don’t pay attention because Michelle looks good. Jillian comes in to sing and Santino shows up. He bites a Slim Jim and Jillian becomes Mae Young who of course kisses him. Another bite and it’s Mean Gene. Ok that makes things better. One more bite and it’s Melina. Dang that hair is hot.

Money in the Bank

Kofi is out first and is more or less the weakest of the three favorites. His hair looks like a buffalo came in it. He’s wearing white trunks here for some reason. He’s only been qualified for 6 days at this point. MVP is in second. No one cares. At least he’s not in red anymore. Bourne is third so we have our high flier. Three Raw guys so far. Fourth is Swagger to a nice reaction. He debuts the Angle look here and those pushups…don’t appear here.

That sucks because they rock. Shelton is 5th and he belong here. Matt gets a nice pop. Ziggler is in next and I legit forgot he both existed and was in this match. McIntyre, one of the other favorites, has the majority of his entrance cut which sucks. He’s IC Champion here in case you forgot. Kane….you need a better push. Yes I know that’s one of the biggest debates here. Get over it. He has a big black eye which might be from Shawn on Monday.

Christian gets a decent pop as the odds on favorite. There are a ton of ladders and there we go. Drew goes for it maybe 30 seconds in so of course it doesn’t work. In a cool sequence, everyone goes up but everyone else pulls them down. Bourne touches the case and FTS wants to cry. Swagger is in front of the turnbuckle, Matt is in front of him, a ladder is in front of them, Kofi is thrown into the ladder.

That…wouldn’t hurt as much as it would seem to. Ziggler almost gets there but we remember he’s Dolph Ziggler so we know it’s not ending yet. Kane powerbombs Kofi onto a ladder. Freaking OW. I’m not sure if I like the ten men or not. On one hand, it keeps things from being all boring and whatnot as you have someone getting hurt and then others coming back and then repeat. On the other hand, yeah right. Striker says some people think Swagger can carry the WWE. HA!

In a cool spot (shocking I know) there’s a ladder in the ring and Swagger is under it. Matt and Christian have a ladder each and ram it through the rungs to spear Swagger with it. I like that. Bourne and Christian fight on the ladder that’s bridged between the rope and the ladder in the middle like a scaffold. Bourne knocks Christian down and like an IDIOT hits a shooting star press onto Christian. Yeah he deserves to get beaten here.

Matt takes a front flip onto the scaffold ladder. Yeah he’s broken SMACK DAB IN HALF! Sorry the Oklahoma guy got me there for a minute. Naturally this is a spotfest, but what did you really expect? Kane gets a BIG pop when he makes a save. He throws a ladder at Ziggler which is freaking cool looking. Dolph gets put between a ladder and gets worn out with it. Yep it’s broken. Trouble in Paradise puts Kane down.

In a BRILLIANT spot, Kofi takes the two pieces of the ladder and walks from the corner to the middle using them as stilts. That’s AWESOME. That is why these matches stay awesome: making new spots like that. Drew makes the save but Matt stops him. I would have bet on that being the ending. Matt stays up there FOREVER but can’t get the thing off. That’s just idiotic but whatever. Seriously, he has like 5 chances to get it and doesn’t do it.

Matt: YOU ARE AN IDIOT! Christian takes him down with the reverse DDT so Cole says it was a Twist of Fate. Yeah, the hint would be that Christian is ok. Swagger is back now and it’s him vs. Christian.

Swagger puts Christian down…and fiddles with the case…and fiddles with it…and writes the great American novel…and WINS THE THING. THAT is your Mania shocker right there. No one, and I mean NO ONE saw this one coming. Match felt short, which you’ll hear a lot more tonight. Had to pause there. Norcal’s explosion is still giving us tremors.

Rating: B. This would start at a B in case you were wondering. These matches are ones that you can’t grade like a normal match based on the amount of people and the gimmick involved in them. While not as good as some of the others, the idea is cool.

Naturally WWE is going to have a PPV about it instead of letting it be a Mania exclusive but that’s their idiocy for you. Swagger winning is a legit shock though so I can complain about that one at all. Solid stuff though but I could have gone for more people in the ring at once and more spots.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

Hall of Fame time, and for once the class is AWESOME. When Mad Dog Vachon is the worst wrestler and smallest star, that’s saying A LOT. Gorgeous George’s wife is awesome. I want to see Uecker’s speech. That could be hilarious. Ted DiBiase is the best heel of all time. End of argument. Yes that includes Hogan and Flair. That laugh is just amazing.

FINK!!! He brings out the Class of 2010. The entire Hart Family represents Stu. I want to punch Bruce in the face.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. This was almost the world title match but they woke up and realized it should be a regular match which I can more than live with. Apparently Sheamus is jealous of HHH. That makes sense. I’d be jealous of his wife if nothing else. HHH eliminated him at Elimination Chamber to really set this up. We get Ultimate Warrior clips. That’s saying a lot.

Sheamus vs. HHH

The view from the top of the stadium with the tiny ring in there is awesome looking. They say no one has had a first year in WWE like Sheamis has. That’s true. When Lesnar did three times what Sheamus did in one year, it was WWF still. HHH gets a nice pop but it doesn’t hold up that long. Ok I’m wrong on that one. HHH has made Wrestlemania? Not sure on that one. HHH looks a tad chubby here. Maybe that’s just me. Ok the entrance is still cool.

He looks like a huge star and he’s supposed to. Talk about a contrast of skin tones here. HHH goes for a Pedigree about a minute in. That’s credited to Mania experience. Uh, why? Isn’t that called going for a finisher early? I’d want to do that in any match. Since HHH got big in the Attitude Era, we hit the floor. The figure four goes on and Flair is reference. Does that make AJ and HHH some kind of brothers? Ok, we get it: HHH is a veteran.

Oh and he’s the Ace of Spades now. What the heck does that even mean? Sheamus likes to yell when he kicks people. It’s rather annoying. Stop it. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU MILKY SKINNED IMBECILE??? Hey that actually worked. He channels his inner British Bulldog and hits a running powerslam. Nothing wrong with that. HHH breaks the momentum with a DDT. That might not work due to that hair though.

Striker: Tie your mother down, here comes HHH. So Striker has random shouts of incestuous bondage. Right. We get a nice finisher reversal sequence that ends with Sheamus hitting the bicycle kick. He gets another after HHH kicks out but both guys are down. Isn’t that a witch? HHH falls on his face and Striker says it’s experience. Lawler has some sense and says it might have been dumb luck. Thank you Lawler. And there’s a Pedigree from nowhere for the pin. Ok then.

Rating: B-. This was pretty solid I thought. It came off like a main event level match and that’s what it was supposed to do. Also, there was a big thing here about how Sheamus should have won. Ok, that’s just stupid. HHH is a bigger star and at the big shows, the bigger stars are supposed to win.

This guy debuted a year ago and he’s wrestling a 12 time world champion at Mania. What more do you want? It’s his best match ever by about a mile also, so this worked out fine. Good match, but not a classic like Lawler claims it is.

Slim Jim Ad. OH YEAH!

We recap Rey vs. Punk. This was a cool buildup I thought but it could have been a bit more. Rey sang Happy Birthday to his daughter and Punk interrupted him. Rey cost Punk his spot in MITB. Rey’s son Dominic is taller than he is. That’s the same kid from 05 in the Eddie feud. That’s just amusing.

Rey Mysterio vs. C.M. Punk

Oh sweet Punk has a mic. Punk needs to actually win a match once in awhile to make this gimmick work perfectly though. These promos get better every single time. Rey is dressed like a character from Avatar tonight. Oh just take me now. It can’t get stupider than this. It just can’t. Yep, Rey looks like a moron dressed like that. He truly does. Gallows interferes early and it’s Punk in control. Straightedge prevails again!

Punk’s tights make me think of GI Joe for some reason. Aren’t the Na’vi really tall? See, the costume makes no sense. Punk gets a SICK kick to the side of Rey’s stupid looking head. We get a CM Punk (sucks) chant going and Rey kind of botches a backflip off the top rope into a DDT. It was close though. And Rey manages to tick me off again by doing the Eddie dance before throwing out a Frog Splash. HE IS DEAD. LET IT GO. I freaking hate the 619.

After some botched heel interference, the springboard splash ends this, saving him from joining the Straightedge Society and gaining him…nothing at all. Ok then. Not agreeing with the ending here, but it could be ok I guess. Oh and Cole says you never mess with another man’s family. I don’t see why not. Eddie did it and he gets a dozen tributes a year.

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here I thought. These two have decent chemistry together, but like I said I would have preferred Punk to win for a few reasons. If nothing else this could continue though so that’s a perk. Pretty solid stuff here overall.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. No way am I recapping this. If you don’t know this story by now, why are you here? The image of Vince in Bret’s sunglasses is cool.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Man that is weird to type. Bret is in street clothes here. That’s the right thing to go with I think, as if nothing else he’s likely not in the shape he was before so why embarrass yourself? Are you listening Flair? Vince comes out and says that he has insurance for this match and it’s going to be a lumberjack match. And of course they’re the Hart Family. Bruce is a douche, period.

When they came out, it couldn’t have been much more obvious what was coming. Oh great Bruce is the referee. And of course the Harts turn on Vince before the match starts. Bret’s first punch gets a pop. Bruce, ever the douche, counts when Vince is on the floor in a match with no countouts. Vince is on the floor and the whole family beats him up including a Hart Attack from the top via the Hart Dynasty. Vince hasn’t landed a single shot.

He does however find a tire iron under the ring. Bret gets about 10 shots in with the tire iron over a few minutes. He goes for the legs and the fans go nuts. Nope not yet. Nice tease there though. He sets for it again but it’s a low blow instead. Good to see some old Bret stuff in there. David slides in a chair…which Bret sits down in. Ok this is a bit awkward. Also it’s amusing that Lawler is behind Bret here when he used to HATE Bret.

SWEET chair shot from Bret. He goes OFF on him with it for a total of TWENTY chairshots, breaking Austin’s record of shots to Rock at X7. And then he puts on the Sharpshooter and kills the Montreal Screwjob forever. Vince literally did not hit anything, not even a punch.

Rating: A+. Now before X jumps down my throat for this, you have to consider what this was about. This wasn’t about a competitive match or storytelling or anything like that. This was about Bret getting revenge on Vince. Vince never should have gotten anything in here and literally he didn’t.

Bret completely destroyed him for ten minutes and then the match ended with Vince giving up to the Sharpshooter. That is all you could have wanted out of this and the most infamous moment in wrestling history can be laid to rest. That alone makes this perfect.

Now can we make Bruce Hart fall into a hole?

Mania 27 will be in Atlanta.

The attendance is announced. That’s always cool. Of course we launch fireworks that few in the arena can see. Ok then.

We recap Edge vs. Jericho, which is a simple revenge story. This year they kept things simple and it worked very well. Jericho was showing some emotion here and it worked very well. Oh and spear, spear, SPEAR!

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

This should be good from an in ring perspective if nothing else. Edge looks to have lost a bit of weight. They start by feeling each other out as you would expect I would assume. It is a bit odd that they try to make their tag title reign sound important when they were together what, maybe a month? Jericho and Edge trained together? I don’t remember that. Jericho is controlling which is what you would expect. Oddly there was no control period by Edge. That’s most odd.

Hey, did you know Jericho beat Austin and Rock in the same night? Edge hits a nice running clothesline from the apron to the floor. It’s the simple moves that work the best sometimes. Edge hits a sunset flip from the middle rope. Ok then. Codebreaker is blocked. Pretty good match so far. Edge, complete with the great looking eyes, goes for a spear but in a SWANK counter, Jericho jumps over and more or less gets a schoolboy into the Walls.

Since Edge is a face though he doesn’t tap. Has that ever beaten a prominent face? The Edgecution hits but of course it’s not called that anymore because the announcers suck. They point out that Jericho never gets hurt. That’s very true actually. Jericho goes for a spear but winds up hitting the Codebreaker for two. Jericho goes for the ankle which makes sense. As someone with very bad ankle problems, it really is smart to go after them if you’re fighting someone.

Walls go on again but Jericho switches to a half crab. Well he did train with Lance Storm. The crowd is having fun with this. He gets to the ropes in case you were wondering. Jericho goes for the belt but that doesn’t work. Ok never mind it does since the referee goes down. A really bad Codebreaker gets the clean pin.

I would not have seen that one coming at all. Post match, Edge gets him on one of the tables and after a running start, spears the living tar out of Jericho into a barrier which clearly will be an injury spot.

Rating: A-. That’s likely too high but I really liked this match. It was entertaining the whole time through but it needed a few more minutes. I really like the surprise ending where Edge loses when he was more or less seen as a lock. That’s risky booking but here I think it came off very well. Very good match and definitely the best of the night so far.

We talk about the battle royal before Mania which Tatsu won. Good for him.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

Seriously do the rosters matter here? It’s 5 on 5. That’s all you need to know. Vickie is one of the heels so of course she’ll be the focus of the whole match. Beth looks great in white. That is all. So everyone beats up Vickie until Michelle makes a save. They alternate back and forth with everyone coming in and hitting someone with a finisher until we’re left with Beth and Vickie. Michelle puts Beth down and Vickie hits a “Hog Splash” on Kelly for the win. She managed to botch a cover. That’s hard to do. This was like 3 minutes long.

Rating: F. Seriously, what the heck was this? Eddie, I never thought you were anywhere near what people made you out to be, but you deserve better than this.

Time for Cena vs. Batista. I know you know the story so I’ll spare you the details. The crowd exploded for the graphic coming onscreen.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Batista

Love them or hate them, this is THE money match right here. Period and end of story. There is no other combination that is a selling point like this is right here. This is what Mania is supposed to be about: the biggest stars in the world squaring off for the world championship. I’ve loved the buildup for this and it was what I was looking forward to more than anything. Oh and Cena’s thing this year is a group of Air Force drill people spinning rifles until Cena runs through them.

Far better than last year if nothing else. We start with the feeling out period as the announcers argue over who is stronger. That’s an interesting argument actually. The idea is Cena’s neck injury from about a year and a half ago is still bothering him. Sure why not? Batista counters the FU into a DDT that was PAINFUL looking. Apparently if your opponent’s arms and legs go limp, he’s in trouble. Ladies and gentlemen, the insights of Matt Striker!

If your opponent is losing the ability to support their own weight, THEY COULD BE IN TROUBLE! And the fans have already turned on Cena with the Boo/Yay thing. And then there’s a very face pop for the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is countered into a spinebuster. You would think there would be a shift to booing there but not really. STFU is hooked and we’ve cranked it into a higher gear. In a cool spot, we hit a test of strength on the top rope. That’s new if nothing else.

Five Knuckle Shuffle from the top as he channels his inner Jannetty. Yes, a Marty Jannetty move landed in a Mania main event. Batista Bomb gets two and a mouth from Batista that could swallow Molly Holly alive. Jannetty and Molly Holly got mentioned in this match. Wow. Cena gets a SWEET counter into the FU out of a reversed Batista Bomb. He rolled from slipping over the shoulders to what looked like a tombstone to the FU.

Amazing and he threw Batista about a mile but it only got two. In almost the same spot that his neck got hurt in, Batista catches Cena in a spinebuster from the top. ANOTHER Batista Bomb is countered into the STFU for the tap. It looked like a weak version but the shot of Batista’s leg made up for it. Cena being named a 9 time champion just makes it seem a bit weak though as it always does.

Post match, Cena celebrates with the crowd and we see a guy saying Cena sucks and Cena acknowledges him. That right there is something I freaking LOVE about Cena. Guys like Hogan got a mixed reaction like that and acted like they were still the most over thing ever. I’ve always hated that as it’s just idiotic.

It’s like when WCW said there isn’t a seat to be found as we scan over the crowd seeing all the tarped off areas and empty seats. Cena talks about the booing. It makes him seem more down to Earth which I like for a change.

Rating: A. Sweet match here as these two continue to be the Austin/Rock of their generation. Like I said this is the money match of this generation. The chemistry here is undeniable as Cena is one of the few guys that brings out the best in Batista. This is what a Wrestlemania main event match should be about and it delivered in a big way.

Another Extreme Rules ad.

And now, it is time. This had to be the last match, period. Flair vs. Shawn should have been as well but that’s another story. I’m again not bothering to explain this one as it’s Career vs. Streak. End of explanation. They call it the most anticipated match in Mania history. Not sure on that one.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Well here we go. This is one of two matches this show was sold on so you know it’s going to be good considering who’s in it. This many years after he debuted, Taker’s entrance is still awesome. Taker is rocking something that makes him look a bit like a boxer which works. We hit the staredown and Shawn does Taker’s throat slit. Keep that in mind. Taker dominates early, hitting Snake Eyes and Old School in the first minute or so.

He tweeks his knee on Old School though and Shawn goes for it. Old guys know psychology. Shawn goes for the arm which makes sense as it takes away the Tombstone and Last Ride. Oh and remember there are no count outs or DQs. Both finishers miss and the crowd is liking this a lot. And now back to the knee. The arm work was brief so that’s fine. Taker teases the rope dive but Shawn slides in and takes out the knee again. Good after what happened with that move last year.

Shawn busts out a figure four and much like Flair, PUTS IT ON THE WRONG LEG. The straight leg gets hurt. How hard is that to get? Nip Up is caught in a chokeslam. I like how he just launches him with those at times. An ankle lock is on as Shawn is fine maybe 8 seconds later. He gets the heel hook out of it and Taker is in trouble. He gets out though because Shawn isn’t an American hero. Shawn gets tombstoned on the floor. Ok then.

Shawn is dead apparently. Someone comes out to check on him and of course the match keeps going. Striker, CALM DOWN! The Last Ride hits but Shawn kind of counters into an X Factor so the impact is lessened. I can forgive him for being up quickly for that. Shawn gets out of Hell’s Gate with a nifty counter where he jumps over into a rollup. That was ni…SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Of course it gets two but that came from nowhere. The camera missed most of it.

I love stuff like that as it makes things feel more shocking. Taker blocks another kick and hits the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Shawn was at least 11 feet in the air. Awesome looking. Taker looks furious.

And now, we go to the floor. This might not end well. Why do they take such care of the monitors? I’ve never gotten that. And I mean in kayfabe before you freak out on me. Taker goes for a Last Ride through the table but Shawn counters and hits Sweet Chin Music to put Taker on it. He slowly climbs up to the top rope and launches a picture perfect moonsault.

Now if only he had hit Taker’s chest and not his leg. I legit thought his leg was seriously hurt for a bit until he got up on it a bit later. Back in the ring Shawn hits the THIRD superkick and IT gets two. This isn’t quite last year’s match but it’s VERY close. Another kick is blocked into a chokeslam but his knee is out. Tombstone also gets two and the crowd is losing it over these twos. Taker is LIVID. There go the straps. Shawn hasn’t moved yet.

Taker starts the throat slit but can’t finish it. Just like he did for Jeff Hardy, he can’t bring himself to hurt him anymore. After he shouts at Shawn to stay down, Shawn does his own throat slit, admitting he just can’t do it. He then does the unthinkable and slaps Taker. This was four days ago and 3000 miles from me and the look on Taker’s face scared the heck out of me. Taker is livid and picks up Michaels for a JUMPING TOMBSTONE.

Shawn is of course legally dead now and the career ends. No music plays at first, which is a very nice touch. The crowd isn’t sure what to do. I collapsed when he got the pin on my first viewing and it’s still a tiring match to watch. Taker staggers up and does his pose as 18-0 flashes up on the screen.

That, to say the least, is mind blowing. More on that later. Taker gets him to his feet and they shake hands like they should do. It’s Shawn’s moment as Mr. Wrestlemania gets a standing ovation. He walks up the ramp, and Jerry Lawler puts is perfectly: Shawn, it’s over. Good-bye. Thank you.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as last year’s was, but this was an epic match to say the least. We knew who was going to win, but that’s ok here to me. The ending was perfect as Shawn gave up and was defiant until the end. If someone is going to end it, Taker is a fine choice and the angle was perfect.

It’s a very emotional match, but that takes nothing away from the quality of it. The best word I can think of for this is satisfying. Everything you could want is in here and it’s a fitting end to the show. Shawn, I was never a big fan of your’s, but your career was remarkable to put it as low as I can. I’ll miss you.

Overall Rating: A. GREAT Mania. Nothing at all feels slow on here at all. Even the Divas match is at least fast paced and at three and a half minutes with hot women, how much can you really complain? This had it all as there is history, title changes, surprised, tons of emotion and a perfect card. Shocky made a comment that it’s in the top three Manias ever and he might be on to something actually.

It’s behind 17 for me and off the top of my head that’s it from a quality standpoint but I haven’t thought about it much. This was a great show though with the big matches all being great and the others being very good as well. Nothing was truly bad other than the Divas match which is totally overlookable. Great Mania and ABSOLUTELY worth seeing. I loved it.

And now for three bonus sections. Of course I’m going to do more for a Mania review. It’s the biggest show of the year and I started my reviews with Mania.

To begin with, this Mania set up the upcoming year rather well. As always, Mania marks both the beginning and the end of the year. Cena is back on top which is fine as he should be there. Jericho was a shocker to retain for me and maybe they’re showing confidence in him.

Swagger, Sheamus, Punk, Christian, Kofi and others are ready to take this company over while the current generation of stars in Cena, Batsita, Orton and HHH can more than hold down the fort and bring those guys up. That’s how you have a good company: a well rounded new generation that is ready to take over. I have high hopes for the company as the roster is clicking and the stories have been great thanks to them slowing things down and going with basic angles.

The older generation is dying away as Montreal is finally laid to rest and Shawn is retired now. That’s how things should be as guys from 8 years ago like Cena and Orton are the top guys now and they have been groomed for these spots. I have high hopes for this company as this is the best its looked in many a year.

Item number two is the Streak. This my friends, is the most amazing achievement in wrestling history. “But KB, all it means is he’s been booked strong at one point a year.” Yeah that’s nonsense. To begin with, the Streak didn’t mean anything until 2001. I don’t think it was even mentioned until around that time. Second, think of this. Shawn Michaels is called Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s wrestled at that show 17 times.

Mr. Wrestlemania has not competed at Wrestlemania as many times as Taker has won there. Let that sink in for a moment. The Streak is an angle in and of itself. What was the argument between Shawn and Taker over both times? Nothing other than beating Taker at Wrestlemania.

There is no equivalent to it in all of wrestling and there never will be. To even be around for 18 years is an accomplishment. The thing is just amazing and hopefully it will never die. It’s my favorite part of the show and it never fails to deliver.

And now we move to the white elephant in the room. Shawn Michaels, arguably the best performer ever, has retired. Like I said I was never the biggest Shawn fan, but to deny his talent or the impact he had on wrestling would be ridiculously unfair to him and his legacy. He changed the way a lot of wrestlers perform and there are many reasons why, all of which you can see by watching him.

He stole the show so many times and retired as better than probably 95% of the wrestlers in the world. He went out on top on his own terms which is all you can want. He was one of the best ever and maybe the best ever, but that’s an argument for another time. I’m sad to see him go, but glad that he went out like this. In his speech the next night on Raw he more or less said he wasn’t going to TNA which is great as he would likely wind up jobbing to people beneath him.

Also, if he ever wants to, Vince would welcome him back with open arms. His exit was classy and perfectly done and to me it would be a shame if he came back, but I could live with it. It’s sad to see him go, but nice at the same time as he can go in peace. Have a good retirement Shawn. You’ve earned it.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 29, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, MVP, Tom Phillips

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and that means it is time to really hammer things home. That might be a problem for the next two weeks though as the shows are going to be up against the NCAA Elite Eight this week and championship game next week. I’m not sure how WWE is going to handle these things but it could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Drew McIntyre arrived earlier and isn’t worried about someone taking him out before Wrestlemania.

Here is the Hurt Business to get things going and MVP recaps the chance for someone to take out McIntyre for a future title shot. We look at Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander losing to McIntyre last week and Bobby Lashley is not pleased. They failed miserably and Lashley does not want to be associated with them. MVP gives them the chance to defend themselves but Shelton says Lashley wouldn’t have the title if not for him. Shelton doesn’t like MVP holding him back so Lashley decks Alexander and Shelton suplexes Lashley down. That earns him some knees to the ribs into a Downward Spiral.

We look back at Sheamus attacking Riddle with his scooter last week.

Riddle isn’t sure if Sheamus had a tummy ache or just doesn’t have a soul. Sheamus made him mad last week and tonight Riddle is dealing with it. Riddle goes over to Titus O’Neil and thinks that Titus is hosting the roast of Wrestlemania. Titus corrects him but Riddle asks about the mac and cheese. Sheamus jumps Riddle before their match.

We look at the Hurt Business split, for some reason featuring Main Event graphics.

Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander go up to Adam Pearce and want Shelton vs. Lashley tonight. If that works, Alexander wants a chance next week. Pearce isn’t sure, so they question his testicular fortitude. The match isn’t made but I think you know where this is going.

Riddle vs. Sheamus

Non-title. They go to the mat to start until Sheamus takes him into the corner for a shot to the ribs. A headlock takeover has Riddle in trouble but Riddle pulls him down into a choke (for what looked like a tap but doesn’t count). Sheamus fights up and they head outside where Riddle hits the Floating Bro.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus fish hooking the jaws but Riddle fights up. Sheamus goes up top but gets caught in a belly to belly superplex, with Riddle seeming to land on his head. Riddle is fine enough to send Sheamus into the corner for some running forearms into a t-bone suplex.

The Broton gives Riddle two but a triangle choke is reversed into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break the hold. Instead Sheamus makes the apron for White Noise onto said apron to knock Riddle silly for two. An Alabama Slam gets two more but the Brogue Kick is is broken up. Riddle’s knee is blocked but Sheamus’ connects (it looked like it was supposed to be a Brogue Kick but they were too close) for the pin at 12:45.

Rating: B-. As soon as I saw this match booked and it went past five minutes, I know where it was going, all the way up to Wrestlemania. That is the kind of thing that WWE has done over and over and for the life of me I don’t get the logic. They have a match that is probably the same length that they are going to go on Wrestlemania with a clean finish so now I am supposed to want to watch them do the same thing in less than two weeks? That’s the best that they have and it isn’t exactly inspiring.

Post match Riddle shoves Sheamus off the apron.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman.

Shane promises to expose Strowman tonight.

Drew McIntyre runs into AJ Styles and Omos and accuses them of wanting to cash in on Lashley’s offer. Omos says their Wrestlemania plans are more realistic and tension is teased.

Here are Shane McMahon, Elias and Jaxson Ryker for a chat. Shane credits adrenaline for allowing him to run to safety last week. As for Strowman, Shane has found a few things about him, including proof that Strowman is stupid. We see Strowman’s report card (three D-, a D and a D+), plus comments on how much of a distraction Braun really is. Then we get a picture of Braun, with his beard, a dunce cap and a WrestleMania XV jacket, standing in front of a blackboard with “2+2=5, I AM NOT STUPID I AM NOT STUPID” written in large chalk. Shane thinks Braun needs a hug so here is Braun himself.

Braun Strowman vs. Jaxson Ryker

Strowman throws him outside and chases Shane McMahon around (minus train sound effects) but Shane gets away. Back in and Ryker manages a quick shot and goes up, only to leave an ax handle short so he lands on his feet and then ax handles Strowman. That doesn’t get him very far so Strowman goes sends him outside again, setting up the train (with sound effects), but it doesn’t even go halfway around the ring and only hits one person. Back in and the running powerslam finishes Ryker at 2:27.

Post match the beatdown is on with Strowman cleaning house again. Strowman grabs the mic and reminds Shane that he gets to pick the stipulation. It’s going to be….a steel cage match.

It’s time for the Dirt Sheet, with Miz and John Morrison being rather pleased about their upcoming music video. Before we get there though, Miz needs to rant about his challenge to Bad Bunny last week, followed by Bunny attacking him to accept the challenge. Miz promises to pay Bunny back at Wrestlemania for every piece of wood in his back. Now we get the music video for Hey Hey, Hop Hop.

The video features the two of them in white suite (and bunny suits) dancing on the Raw stage and talking trash about Bad Bunny and Damian Priest in front of a fake crowd, including saying that Bunny isn’t OG like Bugs. Also, because WWE, we look at Miz and Morrison watching themselves on the screen, which kind of misses the point of a music VIDEO.

This goes on for a rather long time and Miz is in tears, so here are Bunny and Priest to interrupt. Bunny, in Spanish, promises to take care of Miz at Wrestlemania so Priest steps aside so Miz can get in Bunny’s face. A right hand staggers Miz (it looked good) and Priest and Bunny head inside to break up the Dirt Sheet set.

Randy Orton talks about being in the ring with a lot of legends over the years but none of them have been like the Fiend. Orton knew that he had to do something about the Fiend so he made the decision to burn the Fiend alive. Then Alexa Bliss started talking about how she could bring the Fiend back. Now Orton knows what he is dealing with and knows that at Wrestlemania he has to dig down deep and take care of this abomination. Orton will do whatever it takes to get the Fiend out of his life.

Bobby Lashley vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and Cedric Alexander is here with Benjamin. Shelton wrestles him to the mat to start but Lashley powers up and hammers away. Lashley sends him outside for a hard posting, followed by a running shoulder in the corner back inside. Hold on though as Lashley has to chase Alexander up the ramp. The distraction lets Shelton hit Paydirt for two, followed by a running knee in the corner. Lashley shrugs it off and hits a pair of spinebusters into the Hurt Lock for the win at 4:13.

Rating: C. Shelton was game here and it made for a nice enough match. As usual, there is nothing wrong with an obvious ending and it isn’t like they wasted a bunch of time or teased a bunch of false finishes. Just get in, do what you need to do, and then get back out before things stop being interesting.

New Day comes up to AJ Styles and Omos in the back because they have an idea for game night. AJ is ready to fight Xavier Woods instead tonight but New Day doesn’t seem impressed. They’ll play some kind of a game first before we get to the title match at Wrestlemania. Kofi: “LET THE GAMES BEGIN BAY-BEE!!!”

Riddle vs. Sheamus is set for Wrestlemania.

It’s time for New Day game night, with all kinds of games set up in the ring. AJ Styles and Omos join them and we’ll start with charades. New Day manages to get A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton but AJ can’t get Omos to understand the Lion King. With that out of the way, it’s time for Pictionary (or at least something close to it). Kofi identifies a rocket ship but Omos can’t figure out the sun. Omos is sick of these games and AJ throws some of the stuff out before his match with Xavier Woods. This show is setting a new record for bad ways of building a pay per view.

A kid has paid tribute to Hulk Hogan with an impression and a big Hogan poster.

Xavier Woods vs. AJ Styles

Woods, in Mortal Kombat themed gear, shoulders AJ down to start and sends him into the corner. AJ gets knocked outside for the big flip dive from Woods, who mockingly glares at Omos as we take a break. Back with Woods hitting a backdrop and putting AJ on top but Styles drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. A fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two but Woods is back with a tornado DDT for one. Woods goes to the apron but Omos grabs the leg to throw him back inside for the DQ at 7:57.

Rating: C. I know Kofi is the one who gets the glory but Woods is someone who can more than hold his own in the ring. That makes for some pretty good matches like this one, as Woods was able to do just fine against a master like Styles. It’s also nice to see Omos do something, because just standing there and glaring is only getting him so far.

Post match Kofi gets gorilla pressed over the barricade (with WWE knowing how to shoot the move to make it look all the more impressive). Woods gets planted with something like a Sky High so Omos can put his foot on Woods’ chest for a three count.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Bliss looking at a Jack in the Box. They used to be called the Devil in the Box and could only be opened once they were weakened. That is what happened to the Fiend at Wrestlemania and Randy Orton believed that the Fiend was gone forever. The Fiend was really just weakened and trapped inside Bliss’ Fiend in a Box. Now Fiend is looking forward to Wrestlemania, because the Legend Killer dies. She turns the crank on the box and a Fiend figure pops up….and the real Fiend is sitting beside her. Ok that was actually kind of creepy.

Drew McIntyre is frustrated and heads into the locker room to ask who is stepping up to take him out and get his Wrestlemania title shot. No one has stepped up and he never would have done that just a few years ago. Drew tells Braun Strowman to step up because he should be a five time World Champion (egads the horror). Strowman says he’ll take care of Shane McMahon and then come for the title when McIntyre wins it.

Humberto Carrillo doesn’t seem interested so McIntyre tells Riddle to do it. Riddle says Sheamus is a full Thanksgiving meal….so McIntyre has to deal with Carrillo. McIntyre headbutts Drew Gulak and gets in Ricochet’s face. Ricochet knows Lashley’s word means nothing but if McIntyre wants a fight, he has one. Drew can respect that and they’re on for later. Makes sense, even if this made these people seem rather lame for not being willing to go after the title.

Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler

Lana, Nia Jax and Reginald are at ringside and Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke are on commentary. Shayna starts fast and stomps on the arm as we look at Brooke and Rose some more. The Kirifuda Clutch is broken up but Reginald offers a distraction. Everyone gets into a brawl on the floor and Naomi rolls Baszler up for the pin at 2:24.

Riddle comes up to Asuka in the back to ask if they would like scooters in Japan. Riddle starts to say something else, laughs, and says he forgot his lines. He walks off and Asuka awkwardly looks into the camera. I know it’s kind of hard to tell with Riddle, but that felt a lot like the Sid promo from the 90s where he forgot it was live.

It’s time for the contract signing for the Women’s Title match. Rhea Ripley and Asuka both come to the ring, with Ripley saying that Asuka is soon to be the former champion. Rhea signs and so does Asuka, who talks about Rhea having too much confidence. The table is turned over and smashed into Asuka’s head….and here are Shayna Baszler, Nia Jax and Reginald.

They can’t believe Ripley is here to get the title shot after Baszler has dominated the two of them already. Where is their Wrestlemania match? Baszler wants to fight Rhea right now but Jax proposes a tag match for next week, which Rhea accepts. So yes, now Jax and Baszler are going to drag down ANOTHER Women’s Title feud for Wrestlemania, because just one wasn’t enough.

MVP comes up to Ricochet and is happy that Ricochet is taking things seriously. Ricochet doesn’t want to hear it and heads to the ring.

Great Khali and Rob Van Dam are going into the Hall of Fame. This year’s class is pretty awesome.

Ricochet vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre wastes no time in LAUNCHING Ricochet for a backdrop and then sends him flying off a belly to belly. Ricochet gets in a shot to the face though and sends McIntyre outside, only to be pulled to the floor for a shot to the face. A whip into the steps is countered with a jump onto the barricade, where Ricochet walks across and hits a dropkick on the floor. Back in and 630 misses, allowing McIntyre to hit the Claymore for the pin at 2:41.

Post match here’s Mustafa Ali (who seems to have shaved a bit) to go after McIntyre’s knee. McIntyre sends him outside and we have another match.

Mustafa Ali vs. Drew McIntyre

Joined in progress with Ali staying on the leg and kicking it out to the apron. McIntyre’s chop doesn’t get him very far as Ali knocks him down to go after the knee again. A top rope splash to the leg gets two but McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly. There’s another one but McIntyre is slow to follow up. A third suplex sets up a Glasgow Kiss into the Claymore for the pin at 3:42 shown.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than the previous one, though watching McIntyre run through people who could be in an interesting place on this show is a little rough. That being said, McIntyre and Lashley being built up as monsters is a good way to go and we could be in for a heck of a match at Wrestlemania as a result.

Post match McIntyre calls out Lashley and, after we cut to a nervous looking MVP, here he is. Post break, McIntyre says he didn’t even notice MVP behind him and now it is time to fight. The brawl is on with Lashley being knocked to the floor. Cue King Corbin to jump McIntyre from behind and lay him out until McIntyre manages a belly to belly. The Claymore is countered into Deep Six, allowing Lashley to put on the Hurt Lock. Lashley does it two more times to really hammer the point home and leave McIntyre laying.

Overall Rating: D+. Lashley and McIntyre did everything they could to save this but they could only do so much. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show that did so little to make me want to see a pay per view. This was every bad WWE booking trope (split up a perfectly good/rather good team, beat the champ to set up rematch, distraction finish, set up matches on the fly, a lot of Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler and a King Corbin appearance to set up a match either this week or next) with very little to make me want to watch. It felt like total autopilot for most of the show and that’s really bad at this time of the year.

Results

Sheamus b. Riddle – Jumping knee

Braun Strowman b. Jaxson Ryker – Running powerslam

Bobby Lashley b. Shelton Benjamin – Hurt Lock

Xavier Woods b. AJ Styles via DQ when Omos interfered

Naomi b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Drew McIntyre b. Ricochet – Claymore

Drew McIntyre b. Mustafa Ali – Claymore

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

We’re finally past what wound up being a pretty good Fastlane show and that means we are on the final stretch of the Road To Wrestlemania. Now this year that means with a grand total of nineteen days to go before the show because WWE loves to cram in extra content. Let’s get to it.

Here is Fastlane if you need a recap.

Sheamus vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and the rest of the Hurt Business is at ringside. They go to the mat to start with Sheamus actually getting the better of a front facelock. You can see the welts all over Sheamus’ back as Lashley fights up and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sheamus fights up, only to get pummeled in the head. Sheamus is sent outside for a cheap shot from Shelton Benjamin and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus avoiding a charge to send Lashley into the post and some running ax handles to the face put him down again. Lashley gets knocked outside and Sheamus hits the top rope clothesline. Back in and a knee to the face gives Sheamus two but Lashley hits the spinebuster. The Hurt Lock makes Sheamus tap at 11:37.

Rating: B-. Raw has been bringing the hoss fights lately and that is not a bad thing. This was another example of two power guys doing power moves to each other and it worked out rather well. Lashley getting a more decisive win over Sheamus, though only after having to work for it, was a good way to go. Sheamus will be fine in whatever he does too.

Post match the Hurt Business gets on Sheamus but Drew McIntyre runs out for the save. Lashley is ready to go but MVP holds him back, shouting to SAVE IT FOR MANIA. McIntyre puts his hands behind his back to let Lashley have a free shot but MVP talks him down.

Post break, Lashley yells at Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin for getting involved in his match. MVP says that made it look like Lashley can’t win on his own. It was an embarrassment, like when they lost the Tag Team Titles last week. They need to think about what they did.

Long recap of the now burned up Fiend returning last night.

Asuka vs. Peyton Royce

Non-title and this is the result of Royce venting on Raw Talk. Asuka goes for the arm to start but Royce reverses into a bridging leglock. That’s broken up with a kick to the ribs and Royce is sent to the apron for the spinning backfist. Royce avoids a running hip attack and hits a spinning kick to the back as we take a break.

Back with Asuka kicking her down again but getting caught in a Gory Stretch, with Royce dropping to her knees for two. A Codebreaker gives Asuka her own two but Royce shoves her off the top. Royce’s top rope double stomp to the back gets two but Asuka pulls her into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 11:12.

Rating: C+. Royce looked good here and there are far worse ideas than turning her into a more serious challenger. Asuka has cleared out the division and there is little reason to not give someone new a chance. I know Rhea Ripley is going to be sent to the top of the card but Royce as a potential future star could work rather well.

Post match here’s the debuting Rhea Ripley, instantly looking like a total star. Ripley wastes no time and challenges Asuka for the title at Wrestlemania. Asuka yells in Japanese but then says that Ripley is not ready for Asuka, meaning the match is on.

Adam Pearce comes up to Drew McIntyre in the back, where McIntyre asks him for a match with the Hurt Business later tonight. Pearce doesn’t like the idea but Drew talks him into it, with a catch: if he wins tonight, those two are banned from ringside at Wrestlemania. Deal.

Post break, the match is official.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz and John Morrison bragging about Miz being a two time Grand Slam Champion. They’re big stars but you don’t see the two of them on the Wrestlemania poster. No instead you see Bad Bunny, who has been around for a cup of coffee. We look at Miz attacking Bad Bunny with his guitar last week, which Morrison calls a smash hit.

They are ready to get rid of Bunny for good and that’s why next week, we will be seeing the debut of their new music video: Hey Hey Hop Hop. We get a preview, which includes the two of them in bunny suits hopping around on the Raw stage. That isn’t all though, because Miz is challenging him to a match at Wrestlemania so he can end his career for good. If Bunny wants a preview, watch what Miz is going to do to Jeff Hardy right now.

Miz vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, Hardy says if Miz is a real man, he’ll send Morrison to the back right now. That works for Miz and we’re ready to go. Hardy starts fast and sends Miz into the ropes, only to get hit in the face for his efforts. Miz’s running boot to the head gets two and we hit the chinlock. Hardy breaks that up in a hurry and clotheslines him down to set up the running splash for two. A middle rope splash gets the same but Miz sends him shoulder first into the post. The Skull Crushing Finale is good for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C. This was just a step above a Miz squash and that’s a good idea after Lashley destroyed him so thoroughly. Miz is going to be fine losing to Bunny at Wrestlemania because he can talk his way right back into whatever level he needs. The match was fine enough but it was more to serve a purpose than anything else and that worked out well.

Post match Miz poses but here is Bad Bunny to break a guitar over his back. Bunny accepts the challenge for Wrestlemania.

Riddle, on his scooter, rides past AJ Styles and Omos and calls AJ skipper.

Here are AJ Styles and Omos to say that they are going to win the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania. Cue New Day to say they seem to think that is funny, with Woods making jokes about Omos being AJ overcompensating for some size issues. We get into something close to the Newlywed Game, with AJ not knowing Omos’ favorite color (mauve), favorite ice cream (peanut butter caramel) or favorite wrestler of all time (Andre). Styles shrugs it off and does his own version of the New Day dance, which has New Day rather annoyed.

Eric Bischoff is going into the Hall of Fame.

AJ Styles vs. Kofi Kingston

Omos and Xavier Woods are at ringside. Kofi grabs a headlock to start but AJ breaks it up without much effort. A leapfrog works for Kofi but AJ knocks him to the apron. AJ barely hangs on when he has to bail out on a dive and Kofi trips him to the apron. Back in and a monkey flip gives Kofi two but AJ sends him outside for a whip into the steps. Woods goes to intervene but gets stared down by Omos as we take a break.

We come back with Kofi hitting a shot to the face and the Boom Drop but Trouble In Paradise is broken up with an enziguri. Kofi catches him on top and loads up SOS, which is reversed into the Calf Crusher. That means a long crawl for the rope break so AJ goes up, only to have Woods play some trombone. The delay lets Kofi counter the Phenomenal Forearm into the SOS for the pin at 13:56.

Rating: C+. Like this could be bad no matter what they did. The loss might seem a little odd but all that matters about the match is Omos being a monster and that seems like it could work fine. Hopefully this winds up working out as there are talented people to make a match work around him, and two of those three were doing their thing here.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Drew McIntyre getting involved in his match when no one asked him to. Cue Riddle, on his scooter, to ask if the Loch Ness Monster is real, if Drew has ever been to Sheamus’ house in Ireland, if leprechauns are real and what Sheamus would ask for if he had a wish. They talk about the scooter, which Sheamus drives into Riddle’s ribs. Riddle, while holding his ribs and trying to breathe: “Was it something I said bro?”

Drew McIntyre vs. Hurt Business

If Drew wins, Shelton and Cedric are banned from ringside at Wrestlemania. Drew throws Shelton around to start and hits an early suplex, followed by a heck of a backdrop to Alexander. We settle down to Drew stomping on Shelton’s hand but Alexander pulls Shelton to the floor to avoid the threat of the Claymore. McIntyre posts Shelton instead but a distraction lets Shelton knee him out to the floor.

Alexander hits a big flip dive and sends McIntyre into the barricade. We take a break and come back with McIntyre still in trouble with Shelton grabbing a chinlock. McIntyre fights up for the Dragon Whip, earning himself a Glasgow Kiss. Back up and McIntyre starts cleaning house, including the Claymore to both of them to finish Alexander at 13:06.

Rating: C. This was only there for the sake of giving Drew some more momentum on the way to Wrestlemania. Drew getting rid of the rest of the team works fine as they only need to have Lashley vs. McIntyre with MVP involved too. Not a bad match or anything, but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Post break, MVP yells at the team and Lashley says he is going to find someone who can get this done. Lashley goes up to the usual gang of losers and says anyone who takes McIntyre out before Wrestlemania will get a shot. MVP seems fine with this.

Dana Brooke/Mandy Rose vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Non-title with Naomi and Lana on commentary and Reginald (with Jax and Baszler) backflips down the ramp. Before the match, we see Nia Jax taking Reginald on a shopping spree a few weeks ago. Baszler takes Brooke with ease to start but Brooke fights back up and goes after Jax on the apron.

Mandy breaks up the Kirifuda Clutch so it’s off to Jax to run Brooke over. Mandy goes after Reginald and throws him in the ring for a flip display. The hot tag brings in Mandy for some knees to the face for two but Reginald gets on the apron for a distraction. Baszler runs Mandy over on the floor and Jax Samoan drops Brooke for the pin at 2:45.

Post match Jax and Reginald celebrate with Baszler having to come in between them.

Alexa Bliss wants Randy Orton gone but she’s still here and He is back. You can’t always get what you want. Let Me In (in Fiend’s voice coming out of her mouth).

We recap the Shane McMahon injury from last night.

Shane is in the ring with Elias and Jaxson Ryker for this week’s concert. The song is about how stupid Braun Strowman is and Shane even joins in on the chorus. Cue Strowman with promises of violence.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Strowman powers him around to start, glares at Shane, and knocks Elias out to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Elias nails a jumping knee to knock Strowman into the corner. Strowman is right back up with a running dropkick to knock Elias silly and a right hand puts Ryker down. They head outside with Strowman doing his running shoulders around the ring, now with loud train sound effects included. Thankfully they go straight to the finish with Strowman finishing with the running powerslam at 3:07.

Rating: D. This story was bad in the first place and then it got even worse with the sound effects. Are we supposed to believe that Strowman told someone to do that? Or that someone thought it would be a good idea? Throw in that it is to keep Strowman vs. Shane going to Wrestlemania and this was just annoying all around.

Post match Shane hits Strowman with a crutch to no avail so Shane sprints up the ramp to escape. Strowman challenges him for Wrestlemania and Shane accepts, for any match Strowman wants. Oh that’s going to be stupid. You can pick which one I mean by that.

Wrestlemania rundown, including the nights some matches will take place:

Saturday – Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley, Sasha Banks vs. Bianca Belair, Bad Bunny vs. The Miz

Sunday – Roman Reigns vs. Edge, Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Here is Randy Orton, with a bag, to summon the Fiend. Orton talks about watching the Fiend burn alive but last night was some kind of an abomination. Tonight, he is getting rid of Alexa Bliss and the Fiend once and for all. Cue Bliss, with a Jack in the box, which reveals something close to the Fiend inside.

Cue the real Fiend, so Orton opens the bag and pulls out a can of gasoline. Orton throws it on him and pulls out a match but goes with the RKO instead of burning Fiend up. Alexa gets in for a distraction so Orton stares at her as Fiend stands up. The Mandible Claw sets up Sister Abigail to knock Randy silly and Fiend points at the Wrestlemania sign. Fire goes off around the sign and I’m almost scared of what is coming there. The match is confirmed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Your taste is probably going to vary pretty hard on this one, but the point of this show was building up Wrestlemania in a hurry. We came in with four matches and left with eight, so I think it’s safe to say that they got things built up rather quickly. Now on the flip side, what we got is not exactly the most thrilling stuff and that is a big problem for this Wrestlemania. There are matches set up, but nothing on the show feels all that interesting. I’m not exactly looking forward to the show, but I’ll take what I can get in the way of a rapid fire build. Throw in some good wrestling and this was a rather easy three hours.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Sheamus – Hurt Lock

Asuka b. Peyton Royce – Asuka Lock

Miz b. Jeff Hardy – Skull Crushing Finale

Kofi Kingston b. AJ Styles – SOS

Drew McIntyre b. Hurt Business – Claymore to Alexander

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke – Samoan drop to Brooke

Braun Strowman b. Elias – Running powerslam

 

 

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Main Event
Date: February 18, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and that isn’t going to make the biggest difference around here. Every week I hope that we’re going to get something a little different on Main Event but there is no reason to believe that is going to be the case most of the time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

T-Bar vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak slips out of a fireman’s carry to start and manages to drive T-Bar into the corner. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Gulak so T-Bar blasts him with a clothesline for two. T-Bar hits a backbreaker into a middle rope splash for two more, followed by Eyes Wide Shut for the pin on Gulak at 3:56.

Rating: D+. This was a lot more squashish than most around here and that’s kind of nice to see. I enjoy a lot of things about Gulak but he is the kind of person who should be getting squashed by T-Bar. Or by Donovan Dijak if WWE hadn’t insisted on the stupid names for the members of the team.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns, Jey Uso and Paul Heyman for a chat with Adam Pearce, who is already in the ring. Reigns tells Pearce that he isn’t waiting on him so let’s get on with this. Pearce doesn’t call any shots around here and Reigns isn’t waiting on Pearce or Edge. Reigns knows that Edge hasn’t announced his Wrestlemania match because he knows Reigns will beat him all the way onto a Legends contract.

No one is taking the title from him so Edge is holding out hope that someone pulls a miracle before Wrestlemania. Speaking of contracts, Pearce has one in his hand and that is for Reigns’ title defense inside the Elimination Chamber. Reigns hands Heyman the mic, who says Reigns’ contract says he has to defend the title AT Elimination Chamber rather than INSIDE the Elimination Chamber. Instead, the winner can receive a title shot on the against Reigns, who won’t be in the Chamber itself.

Pearce seems to laugh it off but Heyman asks what he’s going to do about it. Fire Reigns this close to Wrestlemania? Last year’s show didn’t have Reigns and it was the lowest attended Wrestlemania of all time. Pearce says it’s time to start the qualifying process, and there are going to be two names who don’t need qualifying matches. Those would be Jey Uso and Kevin Owens, the latter of whom has Reigns outside the ring and in Pearce’s face. Reigns doesn’t think Pearce gets this but Heyman says it’s going to be on Reigns’ time.

We see King Corbin and Sami Zayn beating Rey and Dominik Mysterio to qualify for the Chamber.

From Smackdown.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Bobby Roode/Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan/Cesaro

Non-title. Ziggler takes Bryan down for an early two but Cesaro comes in for a double slam. It’s off to Roode, who has to avoid the YES Lock, and gets sent outside. Cesaro is right there and is whipped into the steps. Sami Zayn and King Corbin come out to watch and we take a break.

Back with Bryan in trouble as Roode snaps off a suplex for two and hands it back to Ziggler. Bryan takes Ziggler down but Roode decks Cesaro, allowing Bryan to grab a rollup for two. Roode’s spinebuster gets two more on Bryan but Ziggler misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Cesaro. Everything breaks down and Bryan hits Roode with the running knee. The Fameasser gets two on Cesaro but he’s right back up with the Swing into the Sharpshooter to make Ziggler tap at 11:04.

Rating: C+. Another good match between talented teams, even if the Tag Team Titles get their annual smack in the face for the sake of some qualifying matches. In this case I’m not sure who else could have taken the loss, but I would have preferred it not to be the champs. Bryan and Cesaro winning was mostly but not entirely obvious and that’s a nice feeling.

Post match Jey Uso, Sami Zayn and King Corbin all come in for the brawl. Everyone goes at it until Kevin Owens runs in for the Stunnerfest. Roman Reigns watches from the back as Owens sits down, saying that he’s coming for Reigns to end the show.

From Raw.

Kofi Kingston vs. Miz

If Kofi wins, he’s in the Chamber but if Miz wins, John Morrison is in (and yes they have a graphic for it, because that’s not the kind of thing you can remember without one). Miz shoulders him down to start but it’s way too early for either to hit a finisher. Kofi gets in a shot to the ribs and goes up top for a chop to the head. That’s enough to send Miz outside and Kofi hits a kick to the face from the apron.

The middle rope ax handle to the floor connects as well and a middle rope dropkick gets two back inside. A regular dropkick puts Miz on the apron but this time he catches Kofi with a knee. Miz’s neckbreaker over the middle rope and another one to the floor has Kofi in trouble as we take a break. Back with Miz getting two off a DDT and throwing Kofi outside to keep up the beating. That sets up the top rope ax handle for two more and we hit the cravate.

Kofi rolls out and fights up, including the running stomp to the chest. The Boom Drop gets two but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Miz to get his own two. SOS gives Kofi two more but Miz gets smart and takes out the knee. The Figure Four goes on, with Kofi getting over to the rope without much trouble. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two and now Trouble in Paradise connects to give Kofi the pin and the spot at 14:11.

Rating: B-. These two have always worked well together and that’s what they did here. I was a bit surprised by Kingston winning as it would have made a bit more sense for Morrison to go forward. At the same time though, I can go with more of Kofi inside the Chamber, if nothing else for some history. Getting rid of Miz and Morrison makes me happier than anything else at the moment so I’ll take what I can get.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Jaxson Ryker

Elias is here with Ryker, who is now in trunks for a change. Ryker cranks on the arm to start but gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. A crossbody gives Carrillo two before running the corner for the big armdrag. That means a big dive to the floor to take Ryker down and we take a break.

Back with Ryker hitting a spinebuster for two, followed by the side slam for the same. The chinlock goes on and, after a slingshot suplex, goes on again. Carrillo fights up and low bridges him to the floor, setting up the springboard elbow to the face. Ryker has had it with this though and hits Carrillo in the face, setting up a swinging Boss Man Slam for the pin at 9:10.

Rating: C. Just a standard power vs. speed match here though it’s kind of interesting that Ryker and Elias have already been relegated to Main Event. I’m glad they got rid of the tension between them after about two weeks of being together, but at the same time, they aren’t exactly the most interesting pair in the world. Hence the whole being on Main Event aspect.

From Raw.

Gauntlet Match

Non-title and the winner enters the Chamber last. AJ Styles is in at #1 and….we’ll find out who is joining him after he talks about being sick of hearing about Kofimania II. His attorney (Joseph A. Parks of course) and Omos have gone over the odds and he can’t lose on Sunday. Kofi Kingston is in at #2 and they have almost an hour for this. AJ whips Kofi into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Kofi to hammer away. A belly to back suplex puts Kofi down for a few seconds but he low bridges AJ out to the floor there’s the Trust Fall to the floor.

With AJ down, Xavier Woods needs to give us a trombone concert on the announcers’ table. That earns him a rather high one armed chokeslam from Omos (with the camera shooting from the ground for a great visual) over the barricade. That’s enough for Omos to be ejected but AJ uses the distraction to take out Kofi’s knee again.

We take a break and come back with AJ putting the bad knee in a half crab. Kofi gets out so AJ puts him on top, only to have Kofi shove him down and hit the middle rope splash to the back. The bad knee means it can only be a two count so AJ grabs a DDT on the leg. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes Kofi at 11:03 and it’s Drew McIntyre in at #3.

A quick belly to belly suplex sends AJ flying and Drew drops him ribs first across the top rope. Drew gets in a big boot to leave AJ on the apron and we take a break. Back with AJ being whipped hard into the corner and then into the steps. Drew hits a Michinoku Driver for two but AJ goes to the throat for a breather. AJ gets caught in the reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner but the Claymore is cut off with a kick to the face. That sends Drew to the floor and AJ nails the slingshot forearm.

A knee to the face drops Drew again and a running forearm sends Drew into the post as we take a break. Back again with Drew tossing AJ again but diving off the top and right into an enziguri. The Styles Clash is countered with a backdrop but AJ takes out the knee and puts on the Calf Crusher. Drew headbutts his way to freedom though and sends AJ throat first into the middle rope. The Claymore gives Drew the pin at 29:49 total.

Jeff Hardy is in at #4 and, after an inset promo of Hardy talking about needing to get back to Wrestlemania, he forearms Drew down to start. Drew gets knocked to the floor and a dive off the apron takes him down as we go to a break. Back with Drew making another comeback and snapping off an overhead belly to bell, followed by an overhead belly to belly for good measure. A neckbreaker lets McIntyre nip up again and, after countering a quick Twist of Fate attempt, the Futureshock gets two.

Hardy falls out to the floor so McIntyre suplexes him out there as well, leaving them both down. Back in and Drew puts him on top for a top rope superplex and another near fall. The Claymore misses though and Jeff grabs the Twist of Fate. The Swanton hits knees though and the Claymore gets rid of Hardy at 42:59 total. Randy Orton is in at #5 and McIntyre realizes he’s in some trouble.

Back from another break with McIntyre sending Orton into the barricade….but the lights go out and Alexa Bliss takes over every screen in the arena, including the fans (ok that’s creepy). Orton is counted out at 49:09, because THIS TIME WWE remembers how to count people out. That leaves Sheamus at #6 to complete the field and jumps Drew from behind. Drew is beaten up at ringside, followed by some stomping inside.

The referee asks Drew if he wants to do this and we start the match, despite there not being any bells or starts/stops between the previous falls. Sheamus sends Drew’s bad back into the corner and drops a knee for two. Despite Drew clutching his back, Sheamus grabs an armbar, allowing Drew to fight back up.

Drew tries to jump over him out of the corner but gets powerslammed down for two more. The Glasgow Kiss gets Drew out of trouble and there’s the Future Shock for a double knockdown. Drew is sent to the floor but gets in a quick shot to put Sheamus down. The Claymore misses though and the Brogue Kick finishes Drew at 58:46.

Rating: B. That was a rather long but still good match, with Drew putting on a heck of a showcase. Of course there is nothing wrong with having a World Champion lose to a former World Champion after being in the ring for the better part of forty minutes. McIntyre sold the heck out of his exhaustion at the end too and the sympathy was strong. Sheamus winning was the right call and I’m not sure who wins on Sunday so well done with the whole thing.

Post match Sheamus says that makes him the odds on favorite and he promises to win the title because Drew can’t beat him.

Overall Rating: C+. It helps when you have the gauntlet match eating up so much time (granted it was eight minutes of this show) and they had something to focus on with the two Chamber matches. As usual you could completely cut out the original stuff, but I did like that the opener was shorter than normal around here as there is no reason for T-Bar to have that much trouble in a spot like this. Better than average show, mainly because of better than average TV.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Elimination Chamber 2021
Date: February 21, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

The long Road to Wrestlemania continues here as we have one of the two pay per views between the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. This time around they are doing something a little different with the Elimination Chamber matches as the Raw World Title is on the line, but the winner of the Smackdown Chamber gets an immediate title shot. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Ricochet vs. John Morrison vs. Elias vs. Mustafa Ali

The winner replaces Keith Lee, who is out thanks to an attack by Bobby Lashley, in the US Title triple threat match. The rest of Retribution is here as well. Morrison and Elias are knocked to the floor to start so Ricochet can hammer away on Ali. The other two get back in and Elias chops Ricochet in the corner. Elias grabs a reverse DDT on Ricochet but Morrison grabs a reverse DDT on Elias, leaving Ali to neckbreaker Morrison and drive everyone down.

Back up and Elias’ running knee gets two on Ali with Slapjack making the save. Ricochet knocks Elias to the floor but walks into the Moonlight Drive to give Morrison two. Starship Pain misses though and all four are down in different corners. It’s Ricochet up first to knock everyone down, including a bridging half nelson suplex for two on Morrison. Ali is back up with his tornado DDT on Elias but Ricochet hits a 450, with Ali needing Retribution to make the save. Ricochet’s big flip dive is cut off though and a powerbomb sends him into the post, leaving Morrison to roll Ali up for the pin and the title shot at 7:00.

Rating: C. Fun match, though I’m more annoyed at the fact that it needed to happen. How WWE has managed to drop the ball with Keith Lee amazes me to no end yet I can’t say I’m surprised. Morrison works just fine as a replacement, but if WWE/Vince can’t stand Lee this much, just send him back to NXT where he can do a heck of a lot more for you.

The opening video focuses on the Elimination Chamber, talking about how it is an obstacle to the ultimate goal. Everyone looks nervous about getting in but the prize is worth it.

For those who keep track: Cole only calls the Thunderdome award winning, as it has lost its critical acclaim.

Jey Uso vs. Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro vs. King Corbin vs. Sami Zayn

Inside the Chamber and the winner faces Roman Reigns for the Universal Title later in the night. Also of note: Cole says that HHH invented the Chamber but Eric Bischoff debuted the concept. New one on me, but are you really surprised? We get a video on the participants and Roman Reigns during the entrances. Cesaro is in at #1 and Bryan is in at #2, with Cesaro starting fast with a backbreaker for two. Bryan comes back with some uppercuts and strikes for two of his own but seems to tweak his knee. Owens: “HIS KNEE! HIS LEFT KNEE!”

Bryan tries to go after the arm but has to settle for some uppercuts. Cesaro shows him how to throw an uppercut but has to shake some feeling back into the arm. A delayed vertical suplex shows that the arm is just fine but it’s King Corbin in at #3 (Owens: “WHY HIM???”). Corbin takes both of them down, including cutting off Cesaro’s uppercut train with the Deep Six. Bryan is taken to the outside where Corbin rams the banged up knee into the pod. Owens: “NOW TAKE HIM INSIDE, PUT A HOLD ON HIM AND GET RID OF HIM!”

Instead Corbin punches Cesaro down and takes them both back inside. With Bryan knocked out again and Cesaro tied in the Tree of Woe, Sami Zayn is….well not in at #4 as he holds his pod door closed rather than fight Corbin. Bryan jumps Corbin but Cesaro comes in through the other side and drags Zayn out. Zayn sends Cesaro into the pod door but Bryan sends Zayn into the Chamber.

The Helluva Kick only hits pod and Zayn is down, leaving Corbin to crotch Bryan on top. Cesaro and Zayn climb up onto the pod with Cesaro uppercutting away, sending Zayn crawling horizontally away, because climbing down is too complicated. Cesaro gives chase and kicks him down before doing some pullups from the roof. After dropping down, Cesaro gets clotheslined by Corbin and there’s a chokeslam to Bryan.

Cesaro posts Corbin though and it’s a top rope corkscrew uppercut to set up the Swing. The Sharpshooter makes Corbin tap at 17:40 (Owens: “BYE!”) and it’s Kevin Owens in at #5 (at just over 18 minutes as the intervals are all over the place). Zayn says hold on a second and tries to get the old team back together one more time, earning himself a face first trip into the pod. Bryan gets German suplexed and it’s time for the exchange of uppercuts with Cesaro. An enziguri drops Cesaro but Bryan grabs a sleeper.

That’s broken up with a Backpack Stunner as the two land on Cesaro for a crash. Zayn gets superkicked and it’s time for a bunch of Cannonballs. It’s Zayn up first with the half nelson suplex to Owens, setting up a parade of finishers to put everyone down again. Owens’ pumphandle brainbuster onto the knee gets two on Bryan and Jey Uso is in at #6 (at 23:06, as they aren’t even trying with the intervals here). Owens sends him straight into the Chamber and hits the big flip dive onto the pile. The Stunner gets rid of Zayn at 25:20, leaving us with four.

Owens goes to throw Zayn out but Jey slams the door onto Owens’ arm, leaving Owens vulnerable to a bunch of superkicks. The Superfly (not frog Cole) Splash gets rid of Owens at 26:39. Cesaro uppercuts Uso and hits a top rope elbow for two, followed by some Swings into the Chamber. Bryan kicks Cesaro out of the air and grabs a backslide for two more. Another kick to the head gets another two and Bryan stomps away. The running knee is countered into the torture rack but Bryan slips out for another kick.

Cesaro uppercuts him off the top and a super gutbuster sets up a Swing, only on the bad leg for a great twist. Uso breaks it up with a superkick though and the Superfly Splash gets rid of Cesaro at 32:36. Another Superfly Splash gets two on Bryan but another one off the top of a pod hits raised knees. The running knee finishes Uso to give Bryan the title shot at 33:55.

Rating: B. The best thing here was I wasn’t sure who was winning until the end. That’s a great feeling to have as they really could have gone in about four directions and any of them would have worked. Bryan coming in as an underdog will work just fine and hopefully the match with Reigns will live up to even most of the hype. Rather good stuff here and Bryan winning was a pretty nice feel good moment as he hasn’t been in the main event as much of late.

And so much for waiting.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Reigns is challenging and has Paul Heyman with him. Bryan says YES he can go and counters an early spear into the YES Lock but Reigns powers out. Some heavy right hands and forearms knock Bryan silly and the guillotine choke finishes him off to retain the title at 1:35.

Post match Edge spears Reigns down and we see the Wrestlemania sign, with pyro going off. Cole thinks this might be Edge’s decision, because only in WWE can the obvious need an official announcement for the obvious.

We look at Bad Bunny as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, where he had the 24/7 Title.

Miz doesn’t like Bad Bunny being the guest when it should have been Miz and John Morrison. He asks Bunny why he’s here and slaps him in the face, earning a harder one from Bunny. Miz is ready to fight but runs into Damien Priest, who scares him off.

US Title: Riddle vs. John Morrison vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and has MVP, on a crutch, with him. They start fast with Lashley cleaning house on both of them but Riddle grabs a sleeper. That’s broken up and Riddle is sent outside, allowing Morrison to hit a Flying Chuck to the champ. Morrison gets knocked outside and posted but Riddle dives off the steps onto Lashley. That earns him a nasty backdrop onto the floor, but at least the dive looked nice.

All three are back in and a double kick to the face rocks Lashley….who knocks them both to the floor. Riddle and Morrison try coming in from different sides but Lashley drops them again. MVP: “WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO!” Riddle avoids a charge to send Lashley to the floor and a kick from the apron staggers the champ. A pair of dives take Lashley down, leaving Riddle to hit a Pele to send Morrison into the corner. The t-bone suplex sets up the Broton into the Penalty Kick to rock Morrison again.

The bridging German suplex gets two but Lashley is back in, only to get taken down with the Final Flash. The Floating Bro mostly connects but Morrison knees Riddle in the head. Starship Pain barely grazes Lashley for two (MVP: “YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO PIN THE ALMIGHTY??? Morrison: “Shut the h*** up!”) and Morrison is so annoyed that he grabs MVP’s crutch. Lashley slaps the Hurt Lock on Morrison but Riddle breaks the crutch over Lashley’s back. The Bro Derek gives Riddle the pin and the title at 8:40.

Rating: C+. I liked the story here and it gives Riddle the big win that he has been needing for a long time now. Above all else though, it gets the title off of Lashley and, in theory, should let him go after the World Title. What in the world is there left for him to do otherwise, save for maybe put Riddle over in a singles match? Also, and I have absolutely no idea if this is the case, but if that knee injury was faked (MVP denied some of the rumors about it) to set up that finish, well done indeed.

Wrestlemania is coming in 48 days, exclusively on Peacock. Maybe they’ll have announced the ticket information by then.

Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks are ready for the Women’s Tag Team Titles, with Reginald offering them some champagne after their win. Belair likes the idea of holding the title and toasting her Wrestlemania decision.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Jax and Baszler are defending and Jax starts with Belair. Some early charges miss to frustrate Jax, meaning it’s off to Banks. That’s fine with Jax, who throws her at Belair for a catch and toss back. Baszler comes in and is taken down for an early Meteora from Banks, who is sent to the apron for a standing splash from Jax. We settle down to Baszler taking Banks down by the arm and stomping away at said arm, which is cranked back hard.

A clothesline gives Baszler two and it’s time for more am cranking. Jax slams Banks down for two and we hit the cobra clutch. Banks fights up and rolls Baszler into the corner, only to knock Belair off the apron by mistake. A knee to Baszler’s face allows the tag to Belair but what looked to be a Glam Slam is countered into a not quite complete Glam Slam. Banks tags herself in and hits a frog splash for two on Baszler with Belair being stunned by the kickout.

The KOD hits Baszler and Belair makes sure to feed her leg back for Jax to pull her out at two (WWE can be really, really bad at telegraphing something like that). Everything breaks down and the Samoan drop hits Belair. Banks comes back in with the top rope Meteora but here’s Reginald with a bottle as the Bank Statement has Jax in trouble. The rope is grabbed so Reginald hands Banks the bottle, which she isn’t using. Instead Jax decks her from behind and hits the Samoan drop to retain at 9:35.

Rating: C-. To recap: one of the Women’s Champions, who is teaming with the Royal Rumble winner who can challenge either of the champions, just got pinned by another champion thanks to botched interference by the official wine person of a woman not involved in the story and who also pinned the champion who pinned the champion. I remember when Brisco and Funk did that same story back in 78 but they didn’t have the hair working as well. The match felt rushed, but at least Jax got her heat back after losing to the wine guy on Smackdown.

Miz and MVP have a chat we can’t hear.

Video on Drew McIntyre defending the Raw World Title in the Elimination Chamber.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles vs. Drew McIntyre

Inside the Chamber with McIntyre defending, Omos is here with AJ, and Sheamus will enter last. Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 with Hardy knocking Orton outside. A thumb to the eye cuts Hardy off as Joe says “they say the Chamber is the providence of those who dare.” Since when are there Elimination Chamber philosophers? Back in and Orton knocks Hardy down, setting up some stomps to the ribs.

We hit the chinlock but Hardy is back up for the legdrop between the legs. The splash gives Hardy two but the Twist of Fate and RKO are both blocked. Drew McIntyre is in at #3 (at about 4:32, as the weird intervals have carried over). A belly to belly suplex takes Hardy down and there’s a neckbreaker to Orton. McIntyre launches Hardy face first into the pod wall, though he did make sure to tell the cameraman to move. McIntyre: “I told you to move!” Back in and Orton stomps McIntyre down in the corner and a neckbreaker gets two more.

The hanging DDT onto the Chamber floor connects and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #4. Kofi goes right after Orton….and rolls him up for the very fast elimination at 8:54. Orton lays Kofi out with an RKO so AJ orders Omos to get him out of here. Omos rips the Plexiglas off and runs in to cover Kofi for two. Adam Pearce comes out to eject Omos as AJ covers Hardy for two more. Kofi is back up with a tornado DDT to put AJ on the Chamber floor and everyone is down for a bit. Kofi and AJ slug it out on the Chamber floor with AJ getting monkey flipped into the wall.

McIntyre throws Kofi down without much trouble and then suplexes him into the Chamber wall, followed by a heck of a backdrop to Styles. That leaves McIntyre as the only one standing as Sheamus is in at #6 to complete the field (at 17:06, or about six minutes faster than it was completed in the first match). The slugout is in on a hurry with Sheamus getting the better of it and taking McIntyre outside. AJ and Kofi keep fighting as Hardy has been down for a pretty long time.

Kofi gets up and dives onto Sheamus and McIntyre. That’s enough for Kofi to climb a pod with Sheamus following him, only to get crotched down by McIntyre. With Sheamus up top, McIntyre loads up a superplex, which has Saxton wondering if Sheamus is thinking about a superplex. AJ and Hardy come in to make it a Tower of Doom (Hardy seems to be favoring his knee), setting up Kofi’s big Trust Fall onto everyone for a cover each.

Kofi hammers away on Sheamus but another Trust Fall is pulled out of the air. The Brogue Kick gets rid of Kofi at 23:47 and we’re down to four. Hardy is back up with a Twist of Fate each to the other three. A Whisper in the Wind takes out McIntyre and Sheamus, leaving AJ to take the Swanton. McIntyre is back in with the Claymore to eliminate Hardy at 25:33 and we’re down with three. The jumping knee gets two on McIntyre and there’s White Noise to put him down again.

AJ’s springboard…Swanton instead of a 450 (thanks to a bit of a slip) gets two on McIntyre. A full on 450 gets two but Sheamus comes off the top with a clothesline to drop Styles. McIntyre grabs the Future Shock on Sheamus but he’s right back up with the Brogue Kick. AJ hits a Phenomenal Forearm out of nowhere to get rid of Sheamus at 30:23 and we’re down to AJ vs. McIntyre. Another Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up but McIntyre Claymores it out of the air to retain at 31:12.

Rating: B. This was another good one as they had some options to win but the talent was a little better overall to make up for a few things. Granted it was annoying waiting around for Miz to run in and join the match but maybe they’re waiting for later on that. They gave it some time and the ending was a good way to go with the Claymore looking great. Sheamus vs. Drew could be fine as a Fastlane match but I’m not sure who that leaves for McIntyre at Wrestlemania.

Post match McIntyre celebrates….and Bobby Lashley jumps him from behind. The big beatdown is on and the Hurt Lock leaves McIntyre laying. Cue Miz with the referee and please let it be over.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. The Miz

Drew is defending and the cash in is on with Miz hitting a DDT for two. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the title at 25 seconds. I know Miz has been annoying for a long time and he isn’t keeping the thing long……BUT THE MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE IS GONE AND I CAN BE HAPPY FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS!!!

Miz poses with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. It’s a really weird show as you have six matches with two of them adding up to be about two minutes long. The important thing here was some big stuff happened (to put it mildly) and the two Chamber matches were both rather good. Throw in the briefcase FINALLY going away and the Wrestlemania match being set and it’s hard to complain that much, especially for a two and a half hour show.

The one thing that might not be a good sign: they have how many people sitting at home but Morrison, Bryan and McIntyre all wrestle twice? With Bryan and McIntyre’s matches following the exact same formula? They might want to work on that a bit, but that has been the case for so long now that it’s not even worth getting annoyed over. Very good show, based entirely on two matches and the death of a briefcase.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Jey Uso, Kevin Owens, King Corbin, Cesaro and Sami Zayn – Running knee to Uso

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan – Guillotine choke

Riddle b. Bobby Lashley and John Morrison – Bro Derek to Morrison

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks – Samoan drop to Banks

Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles, Randy Orton, Sheamus, Jeff Hardy and Kofi Kingston – Brogue Kick to Styles

Miz b. Drew McIntyre – Skull Crushing Finale

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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We’re on the Road To Wrestlemania and since WWE likes to have a few extra events these days, we have two pay per views before we can get there. This time around that includes Elimination Chamber, which does have something interesting with the show’s namesake matches. They’re doing something different with the two World Title matches this time around so maybe they’ll have something. Let’s get to it.

US Title: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Keith Lee vs. Riddle

Lashley is on a heck of a roll as US Champion but I’m not sure if he is going to hang onto the title here. They have done a nice job of setting up the match but that’s assuming you ignore the absence of Lee, who was not even on the go home Raw. I’m not sure if that is going to be a big deal, but at the same time, it could give them an out to retain the title because WWE doesn’t mind having Lee lose quite often.

I’ll go with Lashley retaining the title, though I’m not sure how much longer he’ll be champion. In theory he should be on the way to challenging for the World Title sooner rather than later but he’ll need to lose the US Title first. I’ll take Lashley beating Lee here though, as Riddle continues to get close to winning the title but never actually gets there. I’m not sure he’ll notice though and he’ll still be just fine anyway.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler(c) vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

My goodness these titles continue to find new ways to feel completely worthless. How many times in a row can the challengers be another thrown together team who have almost no time together as partners? That’s where we are again here, but at least Belair and Banks have a story together. I mean, of course they have the chance to have a story together because they totally haven’t made it clear that Belair is challenging Banks at Wrestlemania.

Anyway I’ll take Belair and Banks winning the title here, as there is no reason to keep the titles on Jax and Baszler. I don’t like the champions who feud with each other, but at least it could give them a chance to transition the titles to Raquel Gonzalez/Dakota Kai in NXT where they belong. Just go with what makes sense for the titles for once. It might be nice for a change.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Sheamus vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

I have no idea where they are going with the WWE Title right now. Everything on paper says it should be McIntyre vs. Sheamus in a one or two match program for the title but unless Sheamus wins the belt here and they go to Fastlane where McIntyre gets it back and then moves on to Wrestlemania, I’m not sure what else there is to do. That somehow leaves them with few options and a lot of options, which is quite the situation.

In what is rarely a good idea, I’ll go with the logical way and say Sheamus leaves as champion here, setting up the showdown with McIntyre at Fastlane. I’ll also ignore the Money in the Bank briefcase because I can’t manage to care that much less about Miz and the contract. But yeah, we’ll go with Sheamus winning here, probably eliminating McIntyre last to get the title.

Jey Uso vs. Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro vs. King Corbin vs. Sami Zayn

Now we have a match with even more options to win because it’s kind of obvious what is coming after this match is over. This time around, the winner of the Elimination Chamber gets to challenge Roman Reigns immediately thereafter, making this kind of the consolation prize for the winner due to reasons of impending destruction. That doesn’t mean it is going to be a bad match, but it kind of weakens the impact.

I know the easy answers are either Cesaro or Owens….so I’ll go with Owens, hopefully allowing him to wrap up the feud with Reigns once and for all in another pretty awesome match. The match has a lot of potential and could go several different ways, but having the Chamber as a #1 contenders match never set all that right with me. It should be good though, and that’s all it needs to be.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. ???

So yeah I don’t think there is going to be that much drama to this one. Unless they have some kind of screwy finish to the Chamber where the winner is only in the ring for about ten seconds and comes into the title match fresh, this is about as much of a layup as you’re going to find. There is a good chance that Reigns is still champion going into Wrestlemania next year so I can’t imagine him dropping it here.

I think I’ve made it clear enough but just for the sake of completion, Reigns retains here and should do it pretty easily. Above all else, this continues the theme of Paul Heyman being smart enough to keep Reigns from having to work that much a lot of the time, and that is a great use for him. It fits everything they’re doing and Reigns has to do nothing but hold out his hand and take the title, because he knows he’s good enough to get away with it.

Note that I’m leaving off Asuka vs. Lacey Evans, which isn’t going to happen because WWE isn’t that crazy, despite it still being listed on the WWE.com preview as of early Sunday morning. Granted WWE.com also says that the show starts at both 7pm (Network schedule) and 8pm (show’s official page) so maybe I’m thinking too much into this.

Overall Thoughts

Overall….I’m really not sure what to expect from this one and that’s a nice thing to be able to say. Above all else, either Chamber match could go in a few different directions and I’ll absolutely take that over last year where Shayna Baszler was the biggest lock to win in the history of the match. It shouldn’t be so difficult to write a story that leaves you with multiple options but since WWE does not have the best track record in that area, it’s rather nice to have that kind of a feeling for this show.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 15, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for the Elimination Chamber and that means it is time for one of WWE’s favorites: the gauntlet match for the final spot in the match. WWE has a history of making these things go on for a very long time so it could be going in a lot of different directions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s the Miz for MizTV (sans Morrison, who is off working on a Bad Bunny diss track) with Drew McIntyre as the special guest. Miz explains the Elimination Chamber and says that statistically, Drew’s title reign could be in jeopardy (because the best way to fire up a crowd for a wrestling show is to start with a discussion of wrestling statistics). Before McIntyre (or Andy as Miz calls him) can respond, Miz talks about Sheamus turning on McIntyre and challenging him for the title.

That wasn’t the case though and we go back to the Chamber, with Drew finally shouting at him to shut up. McIntyre headbutts him down and throws the Money in the Bank briefcase all the way to the stage. Drew leaves so Miz explains the Chamber for the third time in about five minutes and talks about having the briefcase for extra pressure. Miz is a master strategist and wants every single star vying for either World Title to be on notice. He is in control and to show just how in control, he is removing himself from the Elimination Chamber. As usual: I love Miz but this is just not interesting.

Video on the Hurt Business.

Lucha House Party/Riddle vs. Hurt Business

Before the match, Riddle asks the Lucha Bros who his favorite President is. Riddle prefers Harrison Ford because he saved Chewbacca but thinks Lince Dorado is a Freebird Rutherford PS Hayes guy. The Luchas don’t really have time for this because they want to send an Elimination Chamber message. Shelton shoulders Dorado down to start and it’s off to Alexander for two off a suplex. Metalik comes in without much trouble and hits a spring elbow to send Alexander to the floor.

That brings Shelton in and, after pausing, he charges over a low bridge to put him outside as well. Some dives take the Hurt Business down and we take a break. Back with Shelton shouldering the heck out of Metalik so MVP can come in and work on an armbar. The Business takes turns on Metalik until a missed charge allows the hot tag off to Riddle. House is cleaned a bit and everything breaks down, including Dorado hitting a springboard dive onto Alexander. Riddle hits the Final Flash into the Floating Bro for the pin on MVP at 10:09.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable six man tag here with Riddle getting the win and that’s about it. The triple threat match on Sunday for the US Title should be fine on Sunday and this gave them a little boost towards the match. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the House Party vs. the Hurt Business for the Tag Team Titles added to the Kickoff Show either.

Post match here’s Bobby Lashley to lay out Riddle with the Hurt Lock, making sure that the momentum he got from the win was canceled after about 74 seconds.

Miz talks to Adam Pearce about the empty Elimination Chamber spot and has the perfect replacement: John Morrison. Pearce will take it under consideration and Miz leaves.

We look at Damien Priest beating Angel Garza (with Miz in his corner) last week, because we need three Miz related segments in 40 minutes.

Mandy Rose hits on Bad Bunny before Damien Priest talks about having a hot start on Monday Night Raw. Priest plugs Bunny being the guest on this week’s Monday Night Raw….and we’re interrupted by Akira Tozawa winning the 24/7 Title. Priest beats him up…..and Bunny wins the title instead.

Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods come up to Adam Pearce and asks to be put in the Elimination Chamber instead. Woods points out that Kofi was champion more recently than four people in the Chamber. Miz comes up again (COME ON) and they argue a bit, with Miz saying John Morrison is a former ECW World Champion and that’s good enough. Pearce says Miz can face Kofi with the winner getting the spot (as in Kofi or Morrison). That’s fine with Kofi because this is how he got there in the first place. Kofi is ready for Miz because they saw the three Marine movies.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce vs. Charlotte/Asuka

Ric Flair is here with Lacey and Royce and yes we have to hear some talking before the match. Lacey is very glad for all of Ric’s guidance and Char-Char, tonight she and Pey-Pey have a late Valentine’s Day gift for Charlotte: it’s one of those sweethearts that says Bite Me. She doesn’t have one for Asuka, but Asuka is going to be giving her a present on Sunday anyway (and yes she explains that it’s the title because WWE thinks we’re stupid).

Asuka runs Peyton over to start and cranks on her arm before it’s off to Charlotte to do the same. Charlotte sends Peyton into the corner for the tag to Lacey, who would rather stand on the steps instead. That leaves Royce to take a fall away slam and Asuka comes back in to crank on the neck. Royce manages to reverse and hammer away a bit but makes the mistake of trying to kick Asuka in the ribs.

That means a pair of strikes to put them both down and it’s off to Charlotte, who pulls Royce away from Lacey (who wasn’t extending her hand anyway). As you ignore that Charlotte should want Lacey to come in, Peyton is taken outside for a ram into the announcers’ table. Back in and a quick tag brings Lacey in but she walks up the aisle and says Charlotte isn’t putting her hands on her. Lacey: “Charlotte, I’m pregnant.” Ric: “WOO!” And I guess that’s the match at 6:05.

Rating: D+. I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt (I’m stupid like that) and let Lacey say “of course it’s my husband’s” before shaking my head even more at how stupid this whole thing could get. The story continues to trend towards Charlotte vs. Ric and now I’m terrified to see where this whole thing is going. I was really scared before, but now it’s full on terror because this can’t end well.

Sheamus promises to win the gauntlet match so he can enter the Chamber last and hit a bunch of Brogue Kicks to become WWE Champion.

Post break, we look at Lacey’s announcement, with commentary being stunned.

Kofi Kingston vs. Miz

If Kofi wins, he’s in the Chamber but if Miz wins, John Morrison is in (and yes they have a graphic for it, because that’s not the kind of thing you can remember without one). Miz shoulders him down to start but it’s way too early for either to hit a finisher. Kofi gets in a shot to the ribs and goes up top for a chop to the head. That’s enough to send Miz outside and Kofi hits a kick to the face from the apron.

The middle rope ax handle to the floor connects as well and a middle rope dropkick gets two back inside. A regular dropkick puts Miz on the apron but this time he catches Kofi with a knee. Miz’s neckbreaker over the middle rope and another one to the floor has Kofi in trouble as we take a break. Back with Miz getting two off a DDT and throwing Kofi outside to keep up the beating. That sets up the top rope ax handle for two more and we hit the cravate.

Kofi rolls out and fights up, including the running stomp to the chest. The Boom Drop gets two but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Miz to get his own two. SOS gives Kofi two more but Miz gets smart and takes out the knee. The Figure Four goes on, with Kofi getting over to the rope without much trouble. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two and now Trouble in Paradise connects to give Kofi the pin and the spot at 14:11.

Rating: B-. These two have always worked well together and that’s what they did here. I was a bit surprised by Kingston winning as it would have made a bit more sense for Morrison to go forward. At the same time though, I can go with more of Kofi inside the Chamber, if nothing else for some history. Getting rid of Miz and Morrison makes me happier than anything else at the moment so I’ll take what I can get.

We look back at Lana beating Nia Jax last week (with MY HOLE intact).

Lana, with new best friend Naomi (because WWE women love cycling through best friends), is proud of her win and makes MY HOLE jokes.

Video on Elimination Chamber. We just did this less than an hour ago!

Randy Orton says he will do anything to win the WWE Title. He solves problems, just like he solved the Fiend. Now he will do anything to headline Wrestlemania and that includes making five people the victim of an RKO. The feed is cut to the Firefly Fun House (featuring an “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here” sign) with Alexa Bliss saying ashes to ashes and dust to dust. In the future, he will be reborn. She is sitting in a pentagram and the candles at the points of the star are blown out. Bliss laughs maniacally.

Lana vs. Shayna Baszler

Naomi is here with Lana (and yes they have a synchronized dance) and Nia Jax is with Baszler. Shayna starts fast by cranking back on the arm as Lana is in trouble on the mat. Lana manages a slap to the face and I don’t see this going well for her. A hard clothesline puts Lana down again and we hit the neck crank.

That’s broken up and Lana rolls her into the corner for a breather. Lana’s high crossbody gets two on Baszler but she’s right back with a kick to the head. Jax goes after Naomi, who is dropkicked into the post, causing Baszler to go after Naomi. Lana’s rollup gets two so Baszler knees her in the face, setting up the Kirifuda Clutch for the tap at 4:20.

Rating: D+. What does it say when I’m so worried that Lana is going to get a big win and therefore keep her around even longer? It really isn’t a good sign when the best thing that I can say about a match is that they didn’t follow up on the MY HOLE deal. That’s where we are with this story, and yet the Lana stuff will probably continue for various reasons of WWE sees a lot of (rather obvious) things in her.

Braun Strowman comes up to Adam Pearce and asks why he isn’t in the Elimination Chamber match. Pearce tries to leave but Strowman says not so fast. Threats are made but Pearce says it’s just for former WWE Champions. Strowman says Pearce needs to let Shane McMahon know that he isn’t happy. Please tell me that isn’t a Wrestlemania match in the making.

Gauntlet Match

Non-title and the winner enters the Chamber last. AJ Styles is in at #1 and….we’ll find out who is joining him after he talks about being sick of hearing about Kofimania II. His attorney (Joseph A. Parks of course) and Omos have gone over the odds and he can’t lose on Sunday. Kofi Kingston is in at #2 and they have almost an hour for this. AJ whips Kofi into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Kofi to hammer away. A belly to back suplex puts Kofi down for a few seconds but he low bridges AJ out to the floor there’s the Trust Fall to the floor.

With AJ down, Xavier Woods needs to give us a trombone concert on the announcers’ table. That earns him a rather high one armed chokeslam from Omos (with the camera shooting from the ground for a great visual) over the barricade. That’s enough for Omos to be ejected but AJ uses the distraction to take out Kofi’s knee again.

We take a break and come back with AJ putting the bad knee in a half crab. Kofi gets out so AJ puts him on top, only to have Kofi shove him down and hit the middle rope splash to the back. The bad knee means it can only be a two count so AJ grabs a DDT on the leg. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes Kofi at 11:03 and it’s Drew McIntyre in at #3.

A quick belly to belly suplex sends AJ flying and Drew drops him ribs first across the top rope. Drew gets in a big boot to leave AJ on the apron and we take a break. Back with AJ being whipped hard into the corner and then into the steps. Drew hits a Michinoku Driver for two but AJ goes to the throat for a breather. AJ gets caught in the reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner but the Claymore is cut off with a kick to the face. That sends Drew to the floor and AJ nails the slingshot forearm.

A knee to the face drops Drew again and a running forearm sends Drew into the post as we take a break. Back again with Drew tossing AJ again but diving off the top and right into an enziguri. The Styles Clash is countered with a backdrop but AJ takes out the knee and puts on the Calf Crusher. Drew headbutts his way to freedom though and sends AJ throat first into the middle rope. The Claymore gives Drew the pin at 29:49 total.

Jeff Hardy is in at #4 and, after an inset promo of Hardy talking about needing to get back to Wrestlemania, he forearms Drew down to start. Drew gets knocked to the floor and a dive off the apron takes him down as we go to a break. Back with Drew making another comeback and snapping off an overhead belly to bell, followed by an overhead belly to belly for good measure. A neckbreaker lets McIntyre nip up again and, after countering a quick Twist of Fate attempt, the Futureshock gets two.

Hardy falls out to the floor so McIntyre suplexes him out there as well, leaving them both down. Back in and Drew puts him on top for a top rope superplex and another near fall. The Claymore misses though and Jeff grabs the Twist of Fate. The Swanton hits knees though and the Claymore gets rid of Hardy at 42:59 total. Randy Orton is in at #5 and McIntyre realizes he’s in some trouble.

Back from another break with McIntyre sending Orton into the barricade….but the lights go out and Alexa Bliss takes over every screen in the arena, including the fans (ok that’s creepy). Orton is counted out at 49:09, because THIS TIME WWE remembers how to count people out. That leaves Sheamus at #6 to complete the field and jumps Drew from behind. Drew is beaten up at ringside, followed by some stomping inside.

The referee asks Drew if he wants to do this and we start the match, despite there not being any bells or starts/stops between the previous falls. Sheamus sends Drew’s bad back into the corner and drops a knee for two. Despite Drew clutching his back, Sheamus grabs an armbar, allowing Drew to fight back up.

Drew tries to jump over him out of the corner but gets powerslammed down for two more. The Glasgow Kiss gets Drew out of trouble and there’s the Future Shock for a double knockdown. Drew is sent to the floor but gets in a quick shot to put Sheamus down. The Claymore misses though and the Brogue Kick finishes Drew at 48:46.

Rating: B. That was a rather long but still good match, with Drew putting on a heck of a showcase. Of course there is nothing wrong with having a World Champion lose to a former World Champion after being in the ring for the better part of forty minutes. McIntyre sold the heck out of his exhaustion at the end too and the sympathy was strong. Sheamus winning was the right call and I’m not sure who wins on Sunday so well done with the whole thing.

Post match Sheamus says that makes him the odds on favorite and he promises to win the title because Drew can’t beat him.

Overall Rating: C+. The second half of this show was a complete turnaround from the first half and that’s some great news. The first half of this show was VERY Miz heavy, felt the need to treat the show like someone with the intelligence of a smashed walnut and repeated one dumb idea over and over (and yes of course if Lacey is really pregnant, as she seems to be, that changes a few things). Then you have the second half, which had the rather solid Kofi vs. Miz match plus the good gauntlet match. Best show they’ve had in a bit, but it’s almost all because of the second half.

Results

Riddle/Lucha House Party b. Hurt Business – Floating Bro to MVP

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce vs. Charlotte/Asuka went to a no contest

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise

Shayna Baszler b. Lana – Kirifuda Clutch

Sheamus won a gauntlet match last eliminating Drew McIntyre

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