Elimination Chamber 2021: Happy Days Are Here Again

Elimination Chamber 2021
Date: February 21, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

The long Road to Wrestlemania continues here as we have one of the two pay per views between the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. This time around they are doing something a little different with the Elimination Chamber matches as the Raw World Title is on the line, but the winner of the Smackdown Chamber gets an immediate title shot. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Ricochet vs. John Morrison vs. Elias vs. Mustafa Ali

The winner replaces Keith Lee, who is out thanks to an attack by Bobby Lashley, in the US Title triple threat match. The rest of Retribution is here as well. Morrison and Elias are knocked to the floor to start so Ricochet can hammer away on Ali. The other two get back in and Elias chops Ricochet in the corner. Elias grabs a reverse DDT on Ricochet but Morrison grabs a reverse DDT on Elias, leaving Ali to neckbreaker Morrison and drive everyone down.

Back up and Elias’ running knee gets two on Ali with Slapjack making the save. Ricochet knocks Elias to the floor but walks into the Moonlight Drive to give Morrison two. Starship Pain misses though and all four are down in different corners. It’s Ricochet up first to knock everyone down, including a bridging half nelson suplex for two on Morrison. Ali is back up with his tornado DDT on Elias but Ricochet hits a 450, with Ali needing Retribution to make the save. Ricochet’s big flip dive is cut off though and a powerbomb sends him into the post, leaving Morrison to roll Ali up for the pin and the title shot at 7:00.

Rating: C. Fun match, though I’m more annoyed at the fact that it needed to happen. How WWE has managed to drop the ball with Keith Lee amazes me to no end yet I can’t say I’m surprised. Morrison works just fine as a replacement, but if WWE/Vince can’t stand Lee this much, just send him back to NXT where he can do a heck of a lot more for you.

The opening video focuses on the Elimination Chamber, talking about how it is an obstacle to the ultimate goal. Everyone looks nervous about getting in but the prize is worth it.

For those who keep track: Cole only calls the Thunderdome award winning, as it has lost its critical acclaim.

Jey Uso vs. Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro vs. King Corbin vs. Sami Zayn

Inside the Chamber and the winner faces Roman Reigns for the Universal Title later in the night. Also of note: Cole says that HHH invented the Chamber but Eric Bischoff debuted the concept. New one on me, but are you really surprised? We get a video on the participants and Roman Reigns during the entrances. Cesaro is in at #1 and Bryan is in at #2, with Cesaro starting fast with a backbreaker for two. Bryan comes back with some uppercuts and strikes for two of his own but seems to tweak his knee. Owens: “HIS KNEE! HIS LEFT KNEE!”

Bryan tries to go after the arm but has to settle for some uppercuts. Cesaro shows him how to throw an uppercut but has to shake some feeling back into the arm. A delayed vertical suplex shows that the arm is just fine but it’s King Corbin in at #3 (Owens: “WHY HIM???”). Corbin takes both of them down, including cutting off Cesaro’s uppercut train with the Deep Six. Bryan is taken to the outside where Corbin rams the banged up knee into the pod. Owens: “NOW TAKE HIM INSIDE, PUT A HOLD ON HIM AND GET RID OF HIM!”

Instead Corbin punches Cesaro down and takes them both back inside. With Bryan knocked out again and Cesaro tied in the Tree of Woe, Sami Zayn is….well not in at #4 as he holds his pod door closed rather than fight Corbin. Bryan jumps Corbin but Cesaro comes in through the other side and drags Zayn out. Zayn sends Cesaro into the pod door but Bryan sends Zayn into the Chamber.

The Helluva Kick only hits pod and Zayn is down, leaving Corbin to crotch Bryan on top. Cesaro and Zayn climb up onto the pod with Cesaro uppercutting away, sending Zayn crawling horizontally away, because climbing down is too complicated. Cesaro gives chase and kicks him down before doing some pullups from the roof. After dropping down, Cesaro gets clotheslined by Corbin and there’s a chokeslam to Bryan.

Cesaro posts Corbin though and it’s a top rope corkscrew uppercut to set up the Swing. The Sharpshooter makes Corbin tap at 17:40 (Owens: “BYE!”) and it’s Kevin Owens in at #5 (at just over 18 minutes as the intervals are all over the place). Zayn says hold on a second and tries to get the old team back together one more time, earning himself a face first trip into the pod. Bryan gets German suplexed and it’s time for the exchange of uppercuts with Cesaro. An enziguri drops Cesaro but Bryan grabs a sleeper.

That’s broken up with a Backpack Stunner as the two land on Cesaro for a crash. Zayn gets superkicked and it’s time for a bunch of Cannonballs. It’s Zayn up first with the half nelson suplex to Owens, setting up a parade of finishers to put everyone down again. Owens’ pumphandle brainbuster onto the knee gets two on Bryan and Jey Uso is in at #6 (at 23:06, as they aren’t even trying with the intervals here). Owens sends him straight into the Chamber and hits the big flip dive onto the pile. The Stunner gets rid of Zayn at 25:20, leaving us with four.

Owens goes to throw Zayn out but Jey slams the door onto Owens’ arm, leaving Owens vulnerable to a bunch of superkicks. The Superfly (not frog Cole) Splash gets rid of Owens at 26:39. Cesaro uppercuts Uso and hits a top rope elbow for two, followed by some Swings into the Chamber. Bryan kicks Cesaro out of the air and grabs a backslide for two more. Another kick to the head gets another two and Bryan stomps away. The running knee is countered into the torture rack but Bryan slips out for another kick.

Cesaro uppercuts him off the top and a super gutbuster sets up a Swing, only on the bad leg for a great twist. Uso breaks it up with a superkick though and the Superfly Splash gets rid of Cesaro at 32:36. Another Superfly Splash gets two on Bryan but another one off the top of a pod hits raised knees. The running knee finishes Uso to give Bryan the title shot at 33:55.

Rating: B. The best thing here was I wasn’t sure who was winning until the end. That’s a great feeling to have as they really could have gone in about four directions and any of them would have worked. Bryan coming in as an underdog will work just fine and hopefully the match with Reigns will live up to even most of the hype. Rather good stuff here and Bryan winning was a pretty nice feel good moment as he hasn’t been in the main event as much of late.

And so much for waiting.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Reigns is challenging and has Paul Heyman with him. Bryan says YES he can go and counters an early spear into the YES Lock but Reigns powers out. Some heavy right hands and forearms knock Bryan silly and the guillotine choke finishes him off to retain the title at 1:35.

Post match Edge spears Reigns down and we see the Wrestlemania sign, with pyro going off. Cole thinks this might be Edge’s decision, because only in WWE can the obvious need an official announcement for the obvious.

We look at Bad Bunny as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live, where he had the 24/7 Title.

Miz doesn’t like Bad Bunny being the guest when it should have been Miz and John Morrison. He asks Bunny why he’s here and slaps him in the face, earning a harder one from Bunny. Miz is ready to fight but runs into Damien Priest, who scares him off.

US Title: Riddle vs. John Morrison vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and has MVP, on a crutch, with him. They start fast with Lashley cleaning house on both of them but Riddle grabs a sleeper. That’s broken up and Riddle is sent outside, allowing Morrison to hit a Flying Chuck to the champ. Morrison gets knocked outside and posted but Riddle dives off the steps onto Lashley. That earns him a nasty backdrop onto the floor, but at least the dive looked nice.

All three are back in and a double kick to the face rocks Lashley….who knocks them both to the floor. Riddle and Morrison try coming in from different sides but Lashley drops them again. MVP: “WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO!” Riddle avoids a charge to send Lashley to the floor and a kick from the apron staggers the champ. A pair of dives take Lashley down, leaving Riddle to hit a Pele to send Morrison into the corner. The t-bone suplex sets up the Broton into the Penalty Kick to rock Morrison again.

The bridging German suplex gets two but Lashley is back in, only to get taken down with the Final Flash. The Floating Bro mostly connects but Morrison knees Riddle in the head. Starship Pain barely grazes Lashley for two (MVP: “YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO PIN THE ALMIGHTY??? Morrison: “Shut the h*** up!”) and Morrison is so annoyed that he grabs MVP’s crutch. Lashley slaps the Hurt Lock on Morrison but Riddle breaks the crutch over Lashley’s back. The Bro Derek gives Riddle the pin and the title at 8:40.

Rating: C+. I liked the story here and it gives Riddle the big win that he has been needing for a long time now. Above all else though, it gets the title off of Lashley and, in theory, should let him go after the World Title. What in the world is there left for him to do otherwise, save for maybe put Riddle over in a singles match? Also, and I have absolutely no idea if this is the case, but if that knee injury was faked (MVP denied some of the rumors about it) to set up that finish, well done indeed.

Wrestlemania is coming in 48 days, exclusively on Peacock. Maybe they’ll have announced the ticket information by then.

Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks are ready for the Women’s Tag Team Titles, with Reginald offering them some champagne after their win. Belair likes the idea of holding the title and toasting her Wrestlemania decision.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Jax and Baszler are defending and Jax starts with Belair. Some early charges miss to frustrate Jax, meaning it’s off to Banks. That’s fine with Jax, who throws her at Belair for a catch and toss back. Baszler comes in and is taken down for an early Meteora from Banks, who is sent to the apron for a standing splash from Jax. We settle down to Baszler taking Banks down by the arm and stomping away at said arm, which is cranked back hard.

A clothesline gives Baszler two and it’s time for more am cranking. Jax slams Banks down for two and we hit the cobra clutch. Banks fights up and rolls Baszler into the corner, only to knock Belair off the apron by mistake. A knee to Baszler’s face allows the tag to Belair but what looked to be a Glam Slam is countered into a not quite complete Glam Slam. Banks tags herself in and hits a frog splash for two on Baszler with Belair being stunned by the kickout.

The KOD hits Baszler and Belair makes sure to feed her leg back for Jax to pull her out at two (WWE can be really, really bad at telegraphing something like that). Everything breaks down and the Samoan drop hits Belair. Banks comes back in with the top rope Meteora but here’s Reginald with a bottle as the Bank Statement has Jax in trouble. The rope is grabbed so Reginald hands Banks the bottle, which she isn’t using. Instead Jax decks her from behind and hits the Samoan drop to retain at 9:35.

Rating: C-. To recap: one of the Women’s Champions, who is teaming with the Royal Rumble winner who can challenge either of the champions, just got pinned by another champion thanks to botched interference by the official wine person of a woman not involved in the story and who also pinned the champion who pinned the champion. I remember when Brisco and Funk did that same story back in 78 but they didn’t have the hair working as well. The match felt rushed, but at least Jax got her heat back after losing to the wine guy on Smackdown.

Miz and MVP have a chat we can’t hear.

Video on Drew McIntyre defending the Raw World Title in the Elimination Chamber.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles vs. Drew McIntyre

Inside the Chamber with McIntyre defending, Omos is here with AJ, and Sheamus will enter last. Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 with Hardy knocking Orton outside. A thumb to the eye cuts Hardy off as Joe says “they say the Chamber is the providence of those who dare.” Since when are there Elimination Chamber philosophers? Back in and Orton knocks Hardy down, setting up some stomps to the ribs.

We hit the chinlock but Hardy is back up for the legdrop between the legs. The splash gives Hardy two but the Twist of Fate and RKO are both blocked. Drew McIntyre is in at #3 (at about 4:32, as the weird intervals have carried over). A belly to belly suplex takes Hardy down and there’s a neckbreaker to Orton. McIntyre launches Hardy face first into the pod wall, though he did make sure to tell the cameraman to move. McIntyre: “I told you to move!” Back in and Orton stomps McIntyre down in the corner and a neckbreaker gets two more.

The hanging DDT onto the Chamber floor connects and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #4. Kofi goes right after Orton….and rolls him up for the very fast elimination at 8:54. Orton lays Kofi out with an RKO so AJ orders Omos to get him out of here. Omos rips the Plexiglas off and runs in to cover Kofi for two. Adam Pearce comes out to eject Omos as AJ covers Hardy for two more. Kofi is back up with a tornado DDT to put AJ on the Chamber floor and everyone is down for a bit. Kofi and AJ slug it out on the Chamber floor with AJ getting monkey flipped into the wall.

McIntyre throws Kofi down without much trouble and then suplexes him into the Chamber wall, followed by a heck of a backdrop to Styles. That leaves McIntyre as the only one standing as Sheamus is in at #6 to complete the field (at 17:06, or about six minutes faster than it was completed in the first match). The slugout is in on a hurry with Sheamus getting the better of it and taking McIntyre outside. AJ and Kofi keep fighting as Hardy has been down for a pretty long time.

Kofi gets up and dives onto Sheamus and McIntyre. That’s enough for Kofi to climb a pod with Sheamus following him, only to get crotched down by McIntyre. With Sheamus up top, McIntyre loads up a superplex, which has Saxton wondering if Sheamus is thinking about a superplex. AJ and Hardy come in to make it a Tower of Doom (Hardy seems to be favoring his knee), setting up Kofi’s big Trust Fall onto everyone for a cover each.

Kofi hammers away on Sheamus but another Trust Fall is pulled out of the air. The Brogue Kick gets rid of Kofi at 23:47 and we’re down to four. Hardy is back up with a Twist of Fate each to the other three. A Whisper in the Wind takes out McIntyre and Sheamus, leaving AJ to take the Swanton. McIntyre is back in with the Claymore to eliminate Hardy at 25:33 and we’re down with three. The jumping knee gets two on McIntyre and there’s White Noise to put him down again.

AJ’s springboard…Swanton instead of a 450 (thanks to a bit of a slip) gets two on McIntyre. A full on 450 gets two but Sheamus comes off the top with a clothesline to drop Styles. McIntyre grabs the Future Shock on Sheamus but he’s right back up with the Brogue Kick. AJ hits a Phenomenal Forearm out of nowhere to get rid of Sheamus at 30:23 and we’re down to AJ vs. McIntyre. Another Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up but McIntyre Claymores it out of the air to retain at 31:12.

Rating: B. This was another good one as they had some options to win but the talent was a little better overall to make up for a few things. Granted it was annoying waiting around for Miz to run in and join the match but maybe they’re waiting for later on that. They gave it some time and the ending was a good way to go with the Claymore looking great. Sheamus vs. Drew could be fine as a Fastlane match but I’m not sure who that leaves for McIntyre at Wrestlemania.

Post match McIntyre celebrates….and Bobby Lashley jumps him from behind. The big beatdown is on and the Hurt Lock leaves McIntyre laying. Cue Miz with the referee and please let it be over.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. The Miz

Drew is defending and the cash in is on with Miz hitting a DDT for two. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the title at 25 seconds. I know Miz has been annoying for a long time and he isn’t keeping the thing long……BUT THE MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE IS GONE AND I CAN BE HAPPY FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS!!!

Miz poses with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. It’s a really weird show as you have six matches with two of them adding up to be about two minutes long. The important thing here was some big stuff happened (to put it mildly) and the two Chamber matches were both rather good. Throw in the briefcase FINALLY going away and the Wrestlemania match being set and it’s hard to complain that much, especially for a two and a half hour show.

The one thing that might not be a good sign: they have how many people sitting at home but Morrison, Bryan and McIntyre all wrestle twice? With Bryan and McIntyre’s matches following the exact same formula? They might want to work on that a bit, but that has been the case for so long now that it’s not even worth getting annoyed over. Very good show, based entirely on two matches and the death of a briefcase.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Jey Uso, Kevin Owens, King Corbin, Cesaro and Sami Zayn – Running knee to Uso

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan – Guillotine choke

Riddle b. Bobby Lashley and John Morrison – Bro Derek to Morrison

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks – Samoan drop to Banks

Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles, Randy Orton, Sheamus, Jeff Hardy and Kofi Kingston – Brogue Kick to Styles

Miz b. Drew McIntyre – Skull Crushing Finale

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Elimination Chamber 2021 Preview

We’re on the Road To Wrestlemania and since WWE likes to have a few extra events these days, we have two pay per views before we can get there. This time around that includes Elimination Chamber, which does have something interesting with the show’s namesake matches. They’re doing something different with the two World Title matches this time around so maybe they’ll have something. Let’s get to it.

US Title: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Keith Lee vs. Riddle

Lashley is on a heck of a roll as US Champion but I’m not sure if he is going to hang onto the title here. They have done a nice job of setting up the match but that’s assuming you ignore the absence of Lee, who was not even on the go home Raw. I’m not sure if that is going to be a big deal, but at the same time, it could give them an out to retain the title because WWE doesn’t mind having Lee lose quite often.

I’ll go with Lashley retaining the title, though I’m not sure how much longer he’ll be champion. In theory he should be on the way to challenging for the World Title sooner rather than later but he’ll need to lose the US Title first. I’ll take Lashley beating Lee here though, as Riddle continues to get close to winning the title but never actually gets there. I’m not sure he’ll notice though and he’ll still be just fine anyway.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler(c) vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

My goodness these titles continue to find new ways to feel completely worthless. How many times in a row can the challengers be another thrown together team who have almost no time together as partners? That’s where we are again here, but at least Belair and Banks have a story together. I mean, of course they have the chance to have a story together because they totally haven’t made it clear that Belair is challenging Banks at Wrestlemania.

Anyway I’ll take Belair and Banks winning the title here, as there is no reason to keep the titles on Jax and Baszler. I don’t like the champions who feud with each other, but at least it could give them a chance to transition the titles to Raquel Gonzalez/Dakota Kai in NXT where they belong. Just go with what makes sense for the titles for once. It might be nice for a change.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Sheamus vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

I have no idea where they are going with the WWE Title right now. Everything on paper says it should be McIntyre vs. Sheamus in a one or two match program for the title but unless Sheamus wins the belt here and they go to Fastlane where McIntyre gets it back and then moves on to Wrestlemania, I’m not sure what else there is to do. That somehow leaves them with few options and a lot of options, which is quite the situation.

In what is rarely a good idea, I’ll go with the logical way and say Sheamus leaves as champion here, setting up the showdown with McIntyre at Fastlane. I’ll also ignore the Money in the Bank briefcase because I can’t manage to care that much less about Miz and the contract. But yeah, we’ll go with Sheamus winning here, probably eliminating McIntyre last to get the title.

Jey Uso vs. Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro vs. King Corbin vs. Sami Zayn

Now we have a match with even more options to win because it’s kind of obvious what is coming after this match is over. This time around, the winner of the Elimination Chamber gets to challenge Roman Reigns immediately thereafter, making this kind of the consolation prize for the winner due to reasons of impending destruction. That doesn’t mean it is going to be a bad match, but it kind of weakens the impact.

I know the easy answers are either Cesaro or Owens….so I’ll go with Owens, hopefully allowing him to wrap up the feud with Reigns once and for all in another pretty awesome match. The match has a lot of potential and could go several different ways, but having the Chamber as a #1 contenders match never set all that right with me. It should be good though, and that’s all it needs to be.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. ???

So yeah I don’t think there is going to be that much drama to this one. Unless they have some kind of screwy finish to the Chamber where the winner is only in the ring for about ten seconds and comes into the title match fresh, this is about as much of a layup as you’re going to find. There is a good chance that Reigns is still champion going into Wrestlemania next year so I can’t imagine him dropping it here.

I think I’ve made it clear enough but just for the sake of completion, Reigns retains here and should do it pretty easily. Above all else, this continues the theme of Paul Heyman being smart enough to keep Reigns from having to work that much a lot of the time, and that is a great use for him. It fits everything they’re doing and Reigns has to do nothing but hold out his hand and take the title, because he knows he’s good enough to get away with it.

Note that I’m leaving off Asuka vs. Lacey Evans, which isn’t going to happen because WWE isn’t that crazy, despite it still being listed on the WWE.com preview as of early Sunday morning. Granted WWE.com also says that the show starts at both 7pm (Network schedule) and 8pm (show’s official page) so maybe I’m thinking too much into this.

Overall Thoughts

Overall….I’m really not sure what to expect from this one and that’s a nice thing to be able to say. Above all else, either Chamber match could go in a few different directions and I’ll absolutely take that over last year where Shayna Baszler was the biggest lock to win in the history of the match. It shouldn’t be so difficult to write a story that leaves you with multiple options but since WWE does not have the best track record in that area, it’s rather nice to have that kind of a feeling for this show.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 15, 2021: Half And Good Half

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 15, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for the Elimination Chamber and that means it is time for one of WWE’s favorites: the gauntlet match for the final spot in the match. WWE has a history of making these things go on for a very long time so it could be going in a lot of different directions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s the Miz for MizTV (sans Morrison, who is off working on a Bad Bunny diss track) with Drew McIntyre as the special guest. Miz explains the Elimination Chamber and says that statistically, Drew’s title reign could be in jeopardy (because the best way to fire up a crowd for a wrestling show is to start with a discussion of wrestling statistics). Before McIntyre (or Andy as Miz calls him) can respond, Miz talks about Sheamus turning on McIntyre and challenging him for the title.

That wasn’t the case though and we go back to the Chamber, with Drew finally shouting at him to shut up. McIntyre headbutts him down and throws the Money in the Bank briefcase all the way to the stage. Drew leaves so Miz explains the Chamber for the third time in about five minutes and talks about having the briefcase for extra pressure. Miz is a master strategist and wants every single star vying for either World Title to be on notice. He is in control and to show just how in control, he is removing himself from the Elimination Chamber. As usual: I love Miz but this is just not interesting.

Video on the Hurt Business.

Lucha House Party/Riddle vs. Hurt Business

Before the match, Riddle asks the Lucha Bros who his favorite President is. Riddle prefers Harrison Ford because he saved Chewbacca but thinks Lince Dorado is a Freebird Rutherford PS Hayes guy. The Luchas don’t really have time for this because they want to send an Elimination Chamber message. Shelton shoulders Dorado down to start and it’s off to Alexander for two off a suplex. Metalik comes in without much trouble and hits a spring elbow to send Alexander to the floor.

That brings Shelton in and, after pausing, he charges over a low bridge to put him outside as well. Some dives take the Hurt Business down and we take a break. Back with Shelton shouldering the heck out of Metalik so MVP can come in and work on an armbar. The Business takes turns on Metalik until a missed charge allows the hot tag off to Riddle. House is cleaned a bit and everything breaks down, including Dorado hitting a springboard dive onto Alexander. Riddle hits the Final Flash into the Floating Bro for the pin on MVP at 10:09.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable six man tag here with Riddle getting the win and that’s about it. The triple threat match on Sunday for the US Title should be fine on Sunday and this gave them a little boost towards the match. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the House Party vs. the Hurt Business for the Tag Team Titles added to the Kickoff Show either.

Post match here’s Bobby Lashley to lay out Riddle with the Hurt Lock, making sure that the momentum he got from the win was canceled after about 74 seconds.

Miz talks to Adam Pearce about the empty Elimination Chamber spot and has the perfect replacement: John Morrison. Pearce will take it under consideration and Miz leaves.

We look at Damien Priest beating Angel Garza (with Miz in his corner) last week, because we need three Miz related segments in 40 minutes.

Mandy Rose hits on Bad Bunny before Damien Priest talks about having a hot start on Monday Night Raw. Priest plugs Bunny being the guest on this week’s Monday Night Raw….and we’re interrupted by Akira Tozawa winning the 24/7 Title. Priest beats him up…..and Bunny wins the title instead.

Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods come up to Adam Pearce and asks to be put in the Elimination Chamber instead. Woods points out that Kofi was champion more recently than four people in the Chamber. Miz comes up again (COME ON) and they argue a bit, with Miz saying John Morrison is a former ECW World Champion and that’s good enough. Pearce says Miz can face Kofi with the winner getting the spot (as in Kofi or Morrison). That’s fine with Kofi because this is how he got there in the first place. Kofi is ready for Miz because they saw the three Marine movies.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce vs. Charlotte/Asuka

Ric Flair is here with Lacey and Royce and yes we have to hear some talking before the match. Lacey is very glad for all of Ric’s guidance and Char-Char, tonight she and Pey-Pey have a late Valentine’s Day gift for Charlotte: it’s one of those sweethearts that says Bite Me. She doesn’t have one for Asuka, but Asuka is going to be giving her a present on Sunday anyway (and yes she explains that it’s the title because WWE thinks we’re stupid).

Asuka runs Peyton over to start and cranks on her arm before it’s off to Charlotte to do the same. Charlotte sends Peyton into the corner for the tag to Lacey, who would rather stand on the steps instead. That leaves Royce to take a fall away slam and Asuka comes back in to crank on the neck. Royce manages to reverse and hammer away a bit but makes the mistake of trying to kick Asuka in the ribs.

That means a pair of strikes to put them both down and it’s off to Charlotte, who pulls Royce away from Lacey (who wasn’t extending her hand anyway). As you ignore that Charlotte should want Lacey to come in, Peyton is taken outside for a ram into the announcers’ table. Back in and a quick tag brings Lacey in but she walks up the aisle and says Charlotte isn’t putting her hands on her. Lacey: “Charlotte, I’m pregnant.” Ric: “WOO!” And I guess that’s the match at 6:05.

Rating: D+. I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt (I’m stupid like that) and let Lacey say “of course it’s my husband’s” before shaking my head even more at how stupid this whole thing could get. The story continues to trend towards Charlotte vs. Ric and now I’m terrified to see where this whole thing is going. I was really scared before, but now it’s full on terror because this can’t end well.

Sheamus promises to win the gauntlet match so he can enter the Chamber last and hit a bunch of Brogue Kicks to become WWE Champion.

Post break, we look at Lacey’s announcement, with commentary being stunned.

Kofi Kingston vs. Miz

If Kofi wins, he’s in the Chamber but if Miz wins, John Morrison is in (and yes they have a graphic for it, because that’s not the kind of thing you can remember without one). Miz shoulders him down to start but it’s way too early for either to hit a finisher. Kofi gets in a shot to the ribs and goes up top for a chop to the head. That’s enough to send Miz outside and Kofi hits a kick to the face from the apron.

The middle rope ax handle to the floor connects as well and a middle rope dropkick gets two back inside. A regular dropkick puts Miz on the apron but this time he catches Kofi with a knee. Miz’s neckbreaker over the middle rope and another one to the floor has Kofi in trouble as we take a break. Back with Miz getting two off a DDT and throwing Kofi outside to keep up the beating. That sets up the top rope ax handle for two more and we hit the cravate.

Kofi rolls out and fights up, including the running stomp to the chest. The Boom Drop gets two but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Miz to get his own two. SOS gives Kofi two more but Miz gets smart and takes out the knee. The Figure Four goes on, with Kofi getting over to the rope without much trouble. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two and now Trouble in Paradise connects to give Kofi the pin and the spot at 14:11.

Rating: B-. These two have always worked well together and that’s what they did here. I was a bit surprised by Kingston winning as it would have made a bit more sense for Morrison to go forward. At the same time though, I can go with more of Kofi inside the Chamber, if nothing else for some history. Getting rid of Miz and Morrison makes me happier than anything else at the moment so I’ll take what I can get.

We look back at Lana beating Nia Jax last week (with MY HOLE intact).

Lana, with new best friend Naomi (because WWE women love cycling through best friends), is proud of her win and makes MY HOLE jokes.

Video on Elimination Chamber. We just did this less than an hour ago!

Randy Orton says he will do anything to win the WWE Title. He solves problems, just like he solved the Fiend. Now he will do anything to headline Wrestlemania and that includes making five people the victim of an RKO. The feed is cut to the Firefly Fun House (featuring an “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here” sign) with Alexa Bliss saying ashes to ashes and dust to dust. In the future, he will be reborn. She is sitting in a pentagram and the candles at the points of the star are blown out. Bliss laughs maniacally.

Lana vs. Shayna Baszler

Naomi is here with Lana (and yes they have a synchronized dance) and Nia Jax is with Baszler. Shayna starts fast by cranking back on the arm as Lana is in trouble on the mat. Lana manages a slap to the face and I don’t see this going well for her. A hard clothesline puts Lana down again and we hit the neck crank.

That’s broken up and Lana rolls her into the corner for a breather. Lana’s high crossbody gets two on Baszler but she’s right back with a kick to the head. Jax goes after Naomi, who is dropkicked into the post, causing Baszler to go after Naomi. Lana’s rollup gets two so Baszler knees her in the face, setting up the Kirifuda Clutch for the tap at 4:20.

Rating: D+. What does it say when I’m so worried that Lana is going to get a big win and therefore keep her around even longer? It really isn’t a good sign when the best thing that I can say about a match is that they didn’t follow up on the MY HOLE deal. That’s where we are with this story, and yet the Lana stuff will probably continue for various reasons of WWE sees a lot of (rather obvious) things in her.

Braun Strowman comes up to Adam Pearce and asks why he isn’t in the Elimination Chamber match. Pearce tries to leave but Strowman says not so fast. Threats are made but Pearce says it’s just for former WWE Champions. Strowman says Pearce needs to let Shane McMahon know that he isn’t happy. Please tell me that isn’t a Wrestlemania match in the making.

Gauntlet Match

Non-title and the winner enters the Chamber last. AJ Styles is in at #1 and….we’ll find out who is joining him after he talks about being sick of hearing about Kofimania II. His attorney (Joseph A. Parks of course) and Omos have gone over the odds and he can’t lose on Sunday. Kofi Kingston is in at #2 and they have almost an hour for this. AJ whips Kofi into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Kofi to hammer away. A belly to back suplex puts Kofi down for a few seconds but he low bridges AJ out to the floor there’s the Trust Fall to the floor.

With AJ down, Xavier Woods needs to give us a trombone concert on the announcers’ table. That earns him a rather high one armed chokeslam from Omos (with the camera shooting from the ground for a great visual) over the barricade. That’s enough for Omos to be ejected but AJ uses the distraction to take out Kofi’s knee again.

We take a break and come back with AJ putting the bad knee in a half crab. Kofi gets out so AJ puts him on top, only to have Kofi shove him down and hit the middle rope splash to the back. The bad knee means it can only be a two count so AJ grabs a DDT on the leg. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes Kofi at 11:03 and it’s Drew McIntyre in at #3.

A quick belly to belly suplex sends AJ flying and Drew drops him ribs first across the top rope. Drew gets in a big boot to leave AJ on the apron and we take a break. Back with AJ being whipped hard into the corner and then into the steps. Drew hits a Michinoku Driver for two but AJ goes to the throat for a breather. AJ gets caught in the reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner but the Claymore is cut off with a kick to the face. That sends Drew to the floor and AJ nails the slingshot forearm.

A knee to the face drops Drew again and a running forearm sends Drew into the post as we take a break. Back again with Drew tossing AJ again but diving off the top and right into an enziguri. The Styles Clash is countered with a backdrop but AJ takes out the knee and puts on the Calf Crusher. Drew headbutts his way to freedom though and sends AJ throat first into the middle rope. The Claymore gives Drew the pin at 29:49 total.

Jeff Hardy is in at #4 and, after an inset promo of Hardy talking about needing to get back to Wrestlemania, he forearms Drew down to start. Drew gets knocked to the floor and a dive off the apron takes him down as we go to a break. Back with Drew making another comeback and snapping off an overhead belly to bell, followed by an overhead belly to belly for good measure. A neckbreaker lets McIntyre nip up again and, after countering a quick Twist of Fate attempt, the Futureshock gets two.

Hardy falls out to the floor so McIntyre suplexes him out there as well, leaving them both down. Back in and Drew puts him on top for a top rope superplex and another near fall. The Claymore misses though and Jeff grabs the Twist of Fate. The Swanton hits knees though and the Claymore gets rid of Hardy at 42:59 total. Randy Orton is in at #5 and McIntyre realizes he’s in some trouble.

Back from another break with McIntyre sending Orton into the barricade….but the lights go out and Alexa Bliss takes over every screen in the arena, including the fans (ok that’s creepy). Orton is counted out at 49:09, because THIS TIME WWE remembers how to count people out. That leaves Sheamus at #6 to complete the field and jumps Drew from behind. Drew is beaten up at ringside, followed by some stomping inside.

The referee asks Drew if he wants to do this and we start the match, despite there not being any bells or starts/stops between the previous falls. Sheamus sends Drew’s bad back into the corner and drops a knee for two. Despite Drew clutching his back, Sheamus grabs an armbar, allowing Drew to fight back up.

Drew tries to jump over him out of the corner but gets powerslammed down for two more. The Glasgow Kiss gets Drew out of trouble and there’s the Future Shock for a double knockdown. Drew is sent to the floor but gets in a quick shot to put Sheamus down. The Claymore misses though and the Brogue Kick finishes Drew at 48:46.

Rating: B. That was a rather long but still good match, with Drew putting on a heck of a showcase. Of course there is nothing wrong with having a World Champion lose to a former World Champion after being in the ring for the better part of forty minutes. McIntyre sold the heck out of his exhaustion at the end too and the sympathy was strong. Sheamus winning was the right call and I’m not sure who wins on Sunday so well done with the whole thing.

Post match Sheamus says that makes him the odds on favorite and he promises to win the title because Drew can’t beat him.

Overall Rating: C+. The second half of this show was a complete turnaround from the first half and that’s some great news. The first half of this show was VERY Miz heavy, felt the need to treat the show like someone with the intelligence of a smashed walnut and repeated one dumb idea over and over (and yes of course if Lacey is really pregnant, as she seems to be, that changes a few things). Then you have the second half, which had the rather solid Kofi vs. Miz match plus the good gauntlet match. Best show they’ve had in a bit, but it’s almost all because of the second half.

Results

Riddle/Lucha House Party b. Hurt Business – Floating Bro to MVP

Lacey Evans/Peyton Royce vs. Charlotte/Asuka went to a no contest

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise

Shayna Baszler b. Lana – Kirifuda Clutch

Sheamus won a gauntlet match last eliminating Drew McIntyre

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – December 7, 2020: Cut It Down

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 7, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Tables, Ladders And Chairs and that means we are almost to the end of this version of the Thunderdome. Things are getting a little more interesting around here and hopefully we get something better on the way to the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the locker room on the stage again for another ten bell salute to Pat Patterson. There aren’t many people who deserve it more.

Here’s Randy Orton to get things going. After a look back at last week when he was a guest on A Moment Of Bliss and seemed to get inside the Fiend’s head by messing with Bliss, Orton talks about how he got rid of his moral compass years ago. Orton is the kind of monster that Bray should be afraid of so worry about who is there when you let him in.

Cue Bray in the Firefly Fun House to say Orton gets little old him tonight. Orton says he isn’t in the mood for games…..so Bray says it’s time to play the fireflies’ favorite game show: Let’s Get Randy. Bray now has a bad wig and a microphone and sends us to the three contestants: Mercy the Buzzard, Ramblin Rabbit and Huskus the Pig. The prizes tonight is a brand new cruces (no idea if I spelled that right) but it’s made from the Tree of Knowledge and forged by St. Louis’ greatest shaman, and the rotting corpse of Friendship the Frog!

The question tonight is how should Orton be punished at TLC. The contestants give their answers, with Rabbit thinking they should sit down and discuss their feelings. Bray: “That’s revolting. You’re sick. Sick.” The solution, with the wig coming off, is coming from the Fiend….who doesn’t actually say anything. Instead Orton says he wants to face Bray tonight because he can face the Fiend at TLC. Bray is down for that.

Nia Jax says that it’s time for Shayna Baszler to destroy Lana for good. Shayna says Lana’s front is going to look like her back and her back is going to look like her front. Jax: “She’s going to have boobs on her back.”

Shayna Baszler vs. Asuka

Non-title and Lana and Nia Jax are at ringside. They go straight to the mat for an exchange of leglocks, with Nia getting a heel hook, Asuka reverses into an ankle lock and then a kneebar but Baszler is out in a hurry. Baszler sends her hard to the floor and we take a break. Back with Baszler working on the arm but Asuka reverses into a rollup for two.

Baszler fires off the kicks to the ribs but Asuka gets the knees up in the corner for a breather. The Kirifuda Clutch is countered with a backflip into a cradle so Asuka tries the Asuka Lock. That’s broken up as Jax goes after Lana, earning herself a trip into the steps. Lana dives at Jax and manages a hurricanrana into the announcers’ table. Baszler can’t believe this and yells at Lana, who runs off so Asuka can roll Baszler up for the pin at 8:38.

Rating: C. This was a nice exchange of submission work until it became about Lana and Jax again because that has been the case for months now. Other than that, we have Baszler losing again because WWE managed to another match between the two most successful NXT Women’s Champions ever and it winds up being about Lana and Jax, because it’s always about Jax in some way.

We look back at Cedric Alexander beating Xavier Woods last week. Therefore, tonight we have Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin because that’s one of WWE’s favorites.

The Hurt Business ran into a guy holding a box of shirts and torment him a bit, as only they can.

We recap last week’s main event, with the combined forces of AJ Styles, John Morrison and Miz not being able to take out Drew McIntyre and Sheamus. Tonight, the combined forces of AJ Styles, John Morrison and Miz try to take out Drew McIntyre and Sheamus.

We look back at Dana Brooke slapping Mustafa Ali in the face last week, leading to Slapjack beating Ricochet. Then later in the night, Dana beat Reckoning in quite the upset.

Riddle brings Dana Brooke and Ricochet some Bronuts, which are part of his idea for MVP. With Riddle gone, Ricochet says he didn’t want to be in Retribution because they’ll all jackasses. He’ll team with Brooke though because they both want to take out Retribution.

Ricochet/Dana Brooke vs. Slapjack/Reckoning

Mustafa Ali is here with Slapjack and Reckoning. Before the match, Retribution promises to end Brooke and Ricochet tonight. Reckoning slaps Brooke to start and the brawl is on early. It’s off to the guys with Ricochet taking Slapjack to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in and Slapjack hits something like a Falcon Arrow for two before it’s back to the women. Brooke grabs a quick Samoan driver for the pin at 1:47. Remember when Retribution went on a winning streak for like two weeks and it seemed that things were getting better? WWE must not have been paying attention.

Post match Ali yells at Reckoning and Slapjack for embarrassing them and storms off.

Keith Lee comes up to Sheamus and knows it’s a matter of time before he turns on Drew McIntyre. Sheamus doesn’t like the sound of that.

It’s time for MizTV (including John Morrison, as usual) with AJ Styles, with Omos, as the guest. Omos is offered a chair but AJ says the big tree prefers to stand. Morrison asks AJ about his plans for the TLC match against Drew McIntyre, so AJ talks about wanting to break a chair over Drew’s back. Miz and Morrison start making fun of Sheamus and McIntyre’s accents as the show morphs into the Dirt Sheet. The gist is that Sheamus is going to turn on McIntyre, with the accents getting thicker and thicker. They attribute the voices to watching a lot of Liam Neeson and Shrek movies but here’s Sheamus to interrupt.

Sheamus knows everyone is going to believe he’s turning on McIntyre, but Miz and Morrison mock his inability to count. There are three of them and one of him, so what is Sheamus supposed to do? Cue McIntyre to say the odds have been against him before and he’s ready to take care of these two again. He knows Miz keeps his testicles in Maryse’s purse but Miz replaced them with Morrison’s when he made Morrison his sidekick b****.

AJ points out that Omos is here too….but they’re on the floor so McIntyre and Sheamus clear the ring. McIntyre throws the MITB briefcase from the ring to the stage (dang) and Miz is distraught. Miz and Morrison still do not feel like anything more than an annoyance to McIntyre and it’s not holding up.

We look back at the opening segment.

Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton takes him down to start and fires off a few shots in the corner to keep Kofi in trouble. Kofi gets up and jumps over Shelton out of the corner, only to have the SOS countered into a heck of a powerbomb for two. Shelton slaps on the ankle lock and then sends Kofi outside, where Kofi is favoring his leg. A charge only hits the barricade though and it’s Trouble in Paradise for the pin back inside at 3:25.

Rating: C-. Kind of a weird match here, which didn’t have much time to do anything and only served to get New Day even with the Hurt Business after last week. I was surprised by how fast it wrapped up but sometimes you don’t need to keep things going for the sake of filling time. Kofi getting the win is all that mattered and it worked out fine.

Post match Cedric says not so fast because he wants Kofi too. That’s cool with Kofi and the match is on after a break.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cedric Alexander

Joined in progress with Alexander working on the bad knee, including cranking on the leg on the mat. Kofi fights up and sends him outside, followed by the SOS for two back inside. Cedric takes the leg out again though and a brainbuster gets two. The superplex is broken up but Kofi misses the top rope shot to the head. The Lumbar Check finishes Kofi at 4:20.

Rating: C-. I can go for Cedric picking up some big wins and even though it wasn’t clean, this does set up the Tag Team Title match at TLC. Now granted I’m not sure why we’re going to be seeing another title shot for the Hurt Business, especially a Tag Team Title shot based off of singles wins, but I’ll take almost anything from the Hurt Business. Alexander got a lot of of this win too, even given the situation.

We look back at Elias getting electrocuted last week against Jeff Hardy, who thankfully didn’t bust his head open on the steps.

Pat Patterson tribute video.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

Sheamus/Drew McIntyre vs. Miz/John Morrison/AJ Styles

McIntyre shoves Morrison around to start and there’s a headbutt to drop him again. Sheamus comes in and trades arm holds with Morrison before hitting him in the face. Miz gets knocked outside and Sheamus and Morrison follow, where Sheamus almost knocks McIntyre down. Instead, the two of them catch a diving Morrison and toss him onto the announcers’ chairs (geez) as we take a break.

Back with Miz getting planted off a double toss suplex as the dominance continues. Miz gets in a shot to the face and hands it off to AJ to hammer away in the corner. Morrison gets to do the same but Miz gets knocked away without much trouble. That means it’s back to Sheamus to wreck Miz a bit, only to have Morrison get in a shot to the face. A double shot to the back gets two on Sheamus and it’s time for some right hands to the face. Morrison flips over Sheamus and grabs a gator roll before handing it back to AJ.

Some right hands in the corner have Sheamus in trouble and a kick to the head makes it worse. The Calf Crusher goes on but Drew breaks that up in a hurry. That allows the hot tag to Morrison, who starts sending Morrison flying (so much that one of the cameras is sent reeling). A double northern lights suplex has Miz and Morrison down again as everything breaks down. The Brogue Kick hits McIntyre by mistake and it’s the Phenomenal Forearm to finish Sheamus at 15:47.

Rating: D+. This took its sweet time getting somewhere but the ending was the right call. Sheamus feels like a much bigger threat to McIntyre than Miz and Morrison and AJ is the biggest threat out of all of them. In other words, they have a good story in there but Miz and Morrison are just kind of there to clog things up.

We look at Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler wanting to destroy Lana. Next week: Lana vs. Jax.

Lana is panicking so Asuka gives her a pep talk. She is going to beat Nia and the win the Tag Team Titles. Asuka leaves and Nia pops up to stare Lana down.

Sheamus knows McIntyre is going to want a fight and he’s ready. That Brogue Kick was NOT intentional but here’s Drew to interrupt. Charly Caruso knows better than to stick around as Drew says Sheamus knows what is about to happen. A lot of breathing ensues.

We come back from a break with Sheamus and McIntyre fighting but Pat Buck breaks it up. That earns him a big slam through a table and Sheamus and McIntyre are cool again.

Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. Hold on though as Riddle comes up to Jeff in the back and suggest a tag team: the Hardy Bros. Jeff politely declines because he needs to head to the ring. Lashley takes him into the corner to start and the stomping starts early. Some choking makes it worse and MVP is right there to mock Jeff. The Dominator is countered though and Jeff strikes away, only to have the Twist of Fate countered into a failed Hurt Lock attempt.

MVP offers a distraction to break up the Whisper in the Wind so here’s Riddle to take MVP off the apron. Hardy sends Lashley outside for a clothesline off the apron. We take a break and come back with Hardy being sent outside, meaning Lashley gets to yell at Riddle. The Hurt Lock is countered so Lashley settles for rolling Hardy into a rear naked choke. Riddle tries to coach Hardy out of trouble and Hardy rolls over to elbow his way to freedom.

The legdrop between the legs into a basement dropkick gets two on Lashley. Back up and Lashley hits a quick Downward Spiral for two, only to have Hardy come back with the Twist of Fate. It’s too early for the Swanton though and Lashley spears Hardy in half. The Hurt Lock finishes Hardy at 13:13.

Rating: B-. I got into this one and they did a good job of making me want to see Riddle vs. Lashley. There’s something awesome about Riddle going serious and turning into the machine but you have to build Lashley up as well. A win over someone of Hardy’s caliber is going to do just that and it was another good match on the way there.

Ramblin Rabbit knocks on Randy Orton’s door, saying Bray can’t wait to see him.

Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray shoves him around to start and they head outside with Orton being dropped onto the announcers’ table. Bray grabs a headset and says yowie wowie we’ll be right back to send us to a break. Back with Bray in trouble and Orton chokes away in the corner. The stomping sets up the chinlock but Bray fights up and goes Pat Patterson with an atomic drop.

Bray’s crossbody sets up an implant DDT for two but Orton reverses Sister Abigail into the backbreaker. A quick trip to the floor doesn’t work for either of them so Orton pokes him in the eye back inside. The hanging DDT connects but then the lights start going out. The RKO connects on Bray but the lights go out….and Orton is covering the Fiend. It’s the Mandible Claw to put Orton down to end the show as we’ll say the match was a no contest at 11:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much to see but the ending was a good way to go. The Fiend running through Orton at the pay per view could be interesting if that’s the way they go, but it doesn’t hurt anything if Orton gets the better of Wyatt. It isn’t like Bray got pinned or anything so this was just a way to get to the ending, which worked out fine.

Overall Rating: C-. This show had one of the worst feelings you can have from Raw: it felt like a three hour show. They did move a few things forward and the Raw half of TLC does look pretty good (not entirely, but more good than bad) but Miz and Morrison and the Lana stuff are really dragging it down. It feels like those people are dragging down the good stuff because they have to be there and that’s not a great thing to have taking place. Overall the show wasn’t the worst, but it REALLY would have been better off at two hours instead of three.

Results

Asuka b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Ricochet/Dana Brooke b. Slapjack/Reckoning – Samoan driver to Reckoning

Kofi Kingston b. Shelton Benjamin – Trouble in Paradise

Cedric Alexander b. Kofi Kingston – Lumbar Check

AJ Styles/Miz/John Morrison b. Sheamus/Drew McIntyre – Phenomenal Forearm to Sheamus

Bobby Lashley b. Jeff Hardy – Hurt Lock

Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt went to a no contest

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2013 (2014 Redo): Let Them (W)in

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.

The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the World Title matches.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Elimination rules of course and the Real Americans are Jack Swagger and Cesaro. The Usos are twin Samoan high fliers. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter (a VERY proud American who wants all non-Americans to leave the country) does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that?

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Langston, defending here, is a powerlifter and incredibly strong. This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday before why change the title here? Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.

Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.

Team AJ vs. Total Divas

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya

Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality “stars” are the heroes, no matter what.

Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Now the panel talks a bit.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace despite having to take a few months off for elbow surgery.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores (Primo and Epico as bullfighters), Fandango and John Laurinitis come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.

Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.

Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.

Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.

That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Original:B-

Redo: C

Real Americans/Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos

Original:B-

Redo: C

Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Original:D+

Redo: D+

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Original:D-

Redo: F

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Original:D

Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Original:D+

Redo: B

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Original:B

Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Original:D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original:D+

Redo: C-

Dang I hated Del Rio back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/11/24/survivor-series-2013-they-had-me-for-a-bit/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2013 (Original): Hold Them Up

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.

The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the world title matches. Nothing special.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday. Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.

Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.

Team AJ vs. Total Divas

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya

Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality chicks are the heroes, no matter what.

Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Now the panel talks a bit.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores, Fandango and JOHNNY ACE come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. AWESOME spot there. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.

Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.

Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.

WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.

Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.

That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain at 11:10.

Results

Shield/Real Americans b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos – Spear to Mysterio

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending.

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Sharpshooter to AJ

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Attitude Adjustment

Daniel Bryan/CM Punk b. Wyatt Family – GTS to Harper

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt Kick

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2012 (2013 Redo): A Most Confusing Match

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre-Show: 3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Back to Slater for some shots in the corner but he gives up the hot tag to Santino for all his usual antics. Heath punches him down and brings Jinder in again for some knee drops off the ropes. Santino misses a double clothesline which gives Slater another near fall. The Band stays on Marella but he backdrops Mahal down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ryder. The Broski Boot connects and everything breaks down. A Rough Ryder connects on Slater but the legal Mahal sneaks in with a full nelson slam for the pin on Zack.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio

Tensai, Primo, Epico, Prime Time Players

The monsters are going at it back inside and Clay botches his high collar suplex, making it into more of a lifting downward spiral. Tensai avoids a charge in the corner and shoulders Brodus down, setting up a backsplash for the elimination. Gabriel comes in with some kicks to the side but gets taken down by a big shoulder block. Off to Titus for an abdominal stretch followed by a backbreaker. Back to Tensai for two off a backsplash but he misses a second one, allowing Gabriel to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

Team Ziggler argues over who is the leader.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Cesaro (known as the Swiss Superman) is defending and asks why Americans are thankful. The only thing he can think of is how great of a champion he is. Truth gets a quick rollup, sunset flip and rolling cradle for two each before thrusting his hips a bit. Cesaro comes back with a headbutt and a clothesline before pounding away on Truth in the corner. Off to an armbar but a USA chant gets Truth to his feet. The champion shoulders him in the corner and puts on a body vice to keep Truth down again.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Big Show is getting winded so Sheamus pounds away as much as he can, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. The Final Cut gets two and Show goes to the middle rope, only to be caught in an electric chair of all things for two. They slug it out from their knees and Sheamus takes over, knocking Show down with a running ax handle.

The Brogue Kick and chokeslam are countered and Sheamus gets two off White Noise. Now the fans are getting into this again. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick again but takes out the referee by mistake. Four people immediately come out to check on the referee as the replay shows the champion pulling him in the way. Big Show knocks out Sheamus and one of the referees counts a pin to end the match out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match was slow for the most part and the ending hurts it even worse. This took all the good stuff out of their match at Hell in a Cell and turned it into a dull imitation. This needed to be two monsters firing bombs at each other until neither guy could get up but instead it was your usual Big Show match at about 4 miles per hour.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, David Otunga, Damien Sandow, Wade Barrett

The Miz, Kofi Kingston, HELL NO, Randy Orton

Ryback was originally on Team Foley but was moved to the main event and replaced by Miz in a Raw poll. As you can see, the match is a huge mess and almost no one was interested in it for the most part. HELL NO (Kane and Daniel Bryan) are the Tag Team Champions and Kofi is Intercontinental Champion of course. Sandow is an intellectual.

The Tag Team Champions get in an argument for no apparent reason, allowing Ziggler to hit a quick Zig Zag on Kane for the pin. That makes the move look strong if nothing else. Orton and Miz get in a quick fight for some reason but Randy catches a sneaky Ziggler in the slingshot suplex for two. Off to Kofi for the matchup that will not die with Ziggler being launched face first into the buckle for two. Back to Bryan who gets poked in the eye, allowing Dolph to tag in Barrett.

A double tag brings in Barrett and Miz with the American connecting with the corner clothesline. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a pumphandle attempt (called Wasteland by Cole) but Miz escapes into the Finale for the elimination to tie us up at two. Del Rio comes in next but charges into a DDT for two. Alberto grabs a German suplex for two but gets pulled off the middle rope in a crash. Miz misses the corner clothesline and gets enziguried for an elimination.

We recap the main event. Punk has been champion for a year almost to the day, Ryback got screwed over by referee Brad Maddox inside the Cell and Cena gave Ryback his spot in the Cell due to injury. The solution was a triple threat match.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fall away slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

Ratings Comparison

3MB vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Original:

Redo: D+

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Original: B-

Redo: C

Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn

Original: D-

Redo: D

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Original: D

Redo: D

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team Foley vs. Team Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ryback vs. John Cena vs. CM Punk

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

About the same down the line. It sucked back then and it sucked now. I actually watched most of this show late and while still tired from a flight the first time around but apparently it had more problems than that.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/21/survivor-series-2012-a-filler-ppv-disguised-as-a-major-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2012 (Original): You’ll Get To Know Them

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2012
Date: November 18, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Pre Show: 3MB vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

David Otunga is replacing Rhodes.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel

Tensai, Prime Time Players, Primo, Epico

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

We get a clip from the preshow where Del Rio and Ziggler argue over the tag match. Team Foley argued too until Foley calmed them down and said he needed all of them to work together.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. R-Truth

Truth is challenging for no apparent reason at all. Cesaro makes fun of Thanksgiving before the match because Americans have nothing to be thankful for. He makes fun of how bad things are in America compared to Europe and the energy Cesaro has here is good stuff. Truth quickly rolls him up twice for two each and punches him in the head a few times. Cesaro comes back with some punches in the corner of his own as JBL talks about Antonio trying to learn Russian.

TLC ad which is like an Otunga law ad.

We recap Sheamus vs. Big Show. They had a great match at HIAC where Show won the title off a pair of KO Punches. Tonight is the rematch and Sheamus is MAD.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Big Show

Show gets disqualified by another referee and Sheamus wins. Well sure why not. Sheamus destroys Show and his knee with a chair and Brogue Kicks Show while Show is on one knee. Methinks a chairs match is obvious now.

Show literally crawls up the aisle as the fans cheer for Ziggler. He gets on a knee and we go to a Rolling Stones concert ad. According to a live report I read, Show got up and walked to the back like it was fine. You know, because limping is too much to ask for of him.

Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley

Dolph Ziggler, Damien Sandow, David Otunga, Alberto Del Rio, Wade Barrett

Randy Orton, The Miz, HELL NO, Kofi Kingston

Fans TOUT IT OUT about who Rock should face at the Rumble.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Ryback

Since that would likely kill one of them, Punk escapes and joins forces with Cena for a double suplex to put Ryback through the announce table. Back in the ring and Cena cranks things up with the shoulders and the Shuffle. The AA is countered and the GTS gets two, as does the AA that follows it. Punk fires off kicks and blocks an STF attempt.

Punk celebrates a lot to end the show.

Results

Team Clay b. Team Tensai – Top Rope Splash to Young

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Spinning Neckbreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer

Sheamus b. Big Show via DQ when Show pulled the referee in the way of a Brogue Kick

Team Ziggler b. Team Foley – Superkick to Orton

CM Punk b. John Cena and Ryback – Punk pinned Cena after a Shell Shock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009 (2012 Redo): How Will He Survive?

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Batista liked hurting Rey.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009 (Original): Night Of The Triple Threats

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location; Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Michael Cole

Well here we are. After a month of build up, we’re at the Survivor Series. Since most of you have been watching the buildup, I’ll spare you the details of it. The card looks pretty good if nothing else. I’m not wild on the treatment the two triple threats are getting as they seem like the belts are being made silly which simply never works for me. I will say this though: the team matches have been booked and built very well.

That’s the key to these shows I think as you can advance feuds, like Orton vs. Kofi without actually having them fight. That’s invaluable as in today’s market you have so many PPVs dominating the market that saving some of the matches is the best thing possible. Let’s do it as I’m doing this one live so it’s going to be a bit less wordy.

The opening video talks about the history of the show. I’ve been doing that for a month so whatever.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Ziggler, Swagger
Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! This is what the Series should be about: promoting the midcard. The most important thing about the midcard here: it exists. For so many years there just hasn’t been one as everyone is just sent to the main event or is a jobber. Here are ten guys that are firmly in the midcard. The heels are quite a team actually and there’s at least four great theme songs in there. Sheamus is a very good monster heel.

I’d bet on Lawler trying to cause Sheamus his match. The description of Miz is perfect: you might like him but you just won’t admit it. How true is that? Apparently Sheamus’ day may come tonight. There’s nothing like that great Lawler analysis. We start with Swagger and Bourne, which is a rather odd but interesting pairing. I guess that’s the point here. Allegedly Miz was at the first Survivor Series. So is he like a poor man’s Foley or something?

The stream isn’t being very nice so this could be a bit spotty here. As for reasons as to why these guys are here, more or less most of these feuds aren’t happening anymore but they were recently enough so I guess that counts for something. Ok the live idea didn’t work as I couldn’t find a good enough stream so this is being written very early Tuesday morning now. DAng it’s weird writing one of these since I haven’t done one in months now.

Seeing Sheamus after the ending of Raw is just a bit odd. Swagger is just made of awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a small package blocked before. Ziggler beats the heck out of Bourne which makes me wonder if he’ll, meaning Ziggler, will ever get a push like so many people want him to. Evan Bourne is freaking scary in the air man. We get the first tag for the faces as Hardy comes in. Less than 20 seconds later he tags Bourne back in and the Shooting Star puts out Ziggler.

In about 10 seconds Bourne is out to a double arm DDT. Did Striker just say Finlay vs. McIntyre has been lighting up Friday nights? That’s very stupid but I like Striker just for his references alone so there we are. Finlay and Sheamus stare each other down and Sheamus just jumps up with a bicycle kick. I LOVE THAT! He was just like screw this standing around nonsense and kicked the tar out of him to pin him.

We’re at 4-3 now if you were a bit confused. We keep hearing about Lawler and Sheamus and no one really cares as Jerry has come off like a jerk during this whole thing. Miz calls spots to Hardy which Striker uses the Billy Graham method of saying Miz is trash talking him to cover it up, which is a good idea if nothing else. Hardy is taking a beating here which is a tradition of Survivor Series. Even on the apron Morrison has such a great presence. You can’t teach something like that.

Does Matt have a single move that doesn’t work on the neck at all? Morrison got a POP. Something in me wants to see Swagger vs. Morrison in a long feud. That would just be awesome in my mind. Yeah I’m a Morrison mark now. The guy is just freaking awesome. The referee went down which apparently is a legit injury. Starship Pain, which is a sweet name if there ever has been one, ties us up. It’s Miz, Sheamus and McIntyre vs. Shelton, Hardy and Morrison.

Miz and Morrison could main event a small PPV someday. Shelton is freaking insane in the ring. Now if only they could get him a personality. Miz pins Shelton with the Breakdown which takes less time to type than the regular name. That right there is what Miz needs more than anything else: pins over more established stars. He’s viewed as a guy with limited credibility and the more wins he gets the faster that goes away and the faster he becomes a more complete wrestler.

Like it or not, he’s the real deal and he’s going to be around for awhile. I’m still undecided on McIntyre. He’s not bad, but I don’t see him as being as great as everyone says he is. If nothing else he uses a DDT so I can’t complain. He gets us down to 3-1 and I’m marking for Morrison here, despite knowing the ending.

Morrison of course gets his head handed to him as we get even more Rockers comparisons, which doesn’t work as both guys have potential to be somewhat big deals. Eventually the Razor’s Edge from Sheamus puts out Morrison, giving us three sole survivors as WWE makes my head shake more and more.

Rating: B. This was easily the best choice for the opener. The midcard gets a very solid push here which is what these matches can do better than anything else. The ending was very good also as it would have been unrealistic for Morrison o fight off all three at once. He should have gone down here and having it 3-1 keeps him credible. This was a solid match as the heels winning is just fine. This was very good and an excellent opener.

The black push continues as Christian is the only white guy on his team. Only this comes to mind:

The segment is funny if nothing else. Kofi without the accent has upped his credibility about 1000%. I still don’t buy everything that is said about Christian. I think that’s his biggest issue: his name. Christian. It just does nothing for me at all. I’d say that’s the main problem.

We recap Rey vs. Batista, which has to be the best heel turn in a good while. The angle sucks badly as they weren’t really best friends or anything or even close so the whole thing didn’t work. Anyway, let’s get to this as the package goes on way too long.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

This match has a no harm clause meaning that if Batista hurts him he can’t be sued, which more or less gives away the result. As I said in the LD, only WWE would have Batista’s first major heel match in his hometown where he’s going to get a massive pop. Ok, I’m sick of any and all references to Eddie. He passed away four years ago. Yes it was tragic. Yes he’s missed. STOP FREAKING MAKING ANGLES ABOUT HIM!!!

If you want to remember him fondly, stop using him as a prop. That’s absurd. Ok, so usually I write the reviews as the match goes, but based on what I read in the LD, this was a minute long squash. I have no idea where the whole part about not being able to respect Rey again came from. The way you guys were talking about it, Rey got less offense in than he did against Khali when he was world champion. This was perfectly fine.

In wrestling, you have to have a high level of suspension of disbelief. Rey as a credible main event guy is something that certainly falls under that category. There’s no reason to believe that he should have a chance against someone of Batista’s size. The thing is in this match, he got a TON of offense in. More or less Batista had to get his hands on Rey one time and the rest would be history. Rey got out of a ton of stuff and had Batista in trouble.

I seriously do not get where the squash thing is coming from. Batista is supposed to be an animal and he mauled Rey after he hit the first big move. Was Rey supposed to kick out of the Batista Bomb? He got a beatdown after a big power move. This was perfectly fine and there was nothing wrong with it. Rey has been beaten up before by people like Chavo Guerrero of all people and he came back fine from it. He’ll come back, likely at TLC and cost Batista the title. What was wrong here?

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine. It was short but it did its job very well. Honestly, what do you want from this match? It did everything it was supposed to do which mainly was getting Rey off of TV for awhile. It did that and allowed Batista to get a big boost as a monster heel. What more do you want here?

We jump to the back with Team Orton who might as well be called team losers here given the endings to the first two matches.

Promo for the Raw that aired last night which was quite good.

Team Orton vs. Team Kingston

Orton, Rhodes, DiBiase, Regal, Punk
Kingston, Christian, R-Truth, MVP, Mark Henry

The feuds are about as basic as you could think of here but that works fine here. We’re starting out with Henry vs. Orton. Please, make it quick. Henry is named the Chef of Hell’s Kitchen by Striker. I don’t get it. Striker goes on to point out that Orton is a Royal Rumble winner which could play into strategy here. Cole points out he’s a six time world champion as well. Ok, the Rumble thing makes a little sense I guess as both matches are about survival.

The world champion thing tells me one thing: titles change hands too often. No one mentions that Orton has been the sole survivor three times because that clearly has no effect on anything at all. Either way, an RKO takes Henry out in about a minute so at least he didn’t fill up the screen for too long. On paper this more or less should be Christian and Kofi again Punk and Orton.

Everyone else on those teams are more or less jobbers or midcard guys that aren’t going to do anything here. Thank goodness they didn’t call that move where Punk jumped and did a front flip over MVP a belly to belly suplex. At least they got that right. My boy hits a GTS to put Truth out, but does a very smart thing before doing it: he pulls Truth to his corner before going for the cover.

It’s little things like that which can make a wrestler be a step ahead of everyone else. It’s smart from a kayfabe perspective which so few people do yet. They’re really talking Kofi up here which is the best thing they could do. After a Killswitch misses, a pretty nice spinning sunset flip from the middle rope puts out DiBiase to make it 4-3.

Kofi comes in to a solid pop. If you haven’t seen it, take a look at the MSG fight between Kofi and Orton. It made Kofi’s career. Rhodes is called the Triforce of the Blue Eyed Bandit. I’m not sure if I like that or not. After a blind tag MVP hits what is actually a Mafia Kick on Regal for the pin to tie us up at 3. Striker is just on a higher level than Cole and King behind the mic.

There’s such a flow to him out there and he sounds completely comfortable. Ballin might be the most absurd move in wrestling since the People’s Elbow. IT’S A FREAKING ELBOW DROP!!! Thankfully Rhodes hits Cross Roads to put him out. That’s a major step for Legacy as having their own individual finishers sets them up for an eventual singles push. Think about all of the great teams that have split and all of them had singles moves to end matches with.

A Killswitch puts out Rhodes, and amazingly enough we’re down to a two on two match with the four biggest stars in this thing. Who would have seen that coming? From out of almost nowhere, Christian hits a Killswitch on Orton but Punk makes a save. Orton is up in about 15 seconds and Christian walks into an RKO to make it 2-1 with Punk and Orton against Kofi.

Punk gets him up for the GTS but because he kicks him feet he gets out. That’s all anyone has to do to get out of a move like that. The magical feet kicking knows no bounds. Orton hasn’t been in at all since it’s been one on one. Orton has an awesome silhouette. He just looks awesome standing there. If nothing else we’re getting a good Kofi vs. Punk match. I love what they’ve been doing with Kofi.

Instead of the way they built up Hardy who kept getting closer and closer but didn’t actually win, they’re having Kofi just rise up and start beating everyone he faces. I like that as it’s a different style to the push and it’s working very well. He catches Punk in a rollup and gets him. Orton walks in and almost immediately the Trouble In Paradise ends this. Kofi’s skyrocket push continues.

Rating: B+. Again, this was a very well done match. They knew what they were doing and it showed. They got rid of the six guys that meant nothing and got it down to what mattered. This match was designed to make Kofi look great again and they did just that. He pinned two men that within the last two months had been world champions completely clean. That’s a huge boost to Kofi and puts even more heat on Kofi vs. Orton. I loved this and it came off very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

I’m really not big at all on the idea of having more or less the same match on both brands for the title, especially triple threats. Granted I don’t like triple threats anyway as it’s all about a gimmick that’s been done so many freaking times that it has lost any and all kinds of credibility it once may have had but again that’s neither here nor there.

Not to mention everything in this match turns into yet another formula match, which is one guy goes down and we have a one on one match, then repeat that with a different order of people. Naturally I could have written double this in the time Taker’s entrance takes. Yeah he’s still coming. I had a nice bowl of soup during his entrance.

It ticked me off that I was out of soup and had to get dressed and go to the store and get some soup and then come home and make it but at least I didn’t miss any of the match since Taker was 90% done with his entrance when I got back. Naturally, the match goes the formula direction for the majority of it. I’m not sold at all on splitting Show and Jericho already. They more or less are the tag division at this point, but granted last night on Raw they were announced to be fighting DX at TLC for the belts.

Again, I don’t like this as it’s two guys that won’t be together in 3 months because THEY ARE NOT A TAG TEAM. They’re singles guys with nothing else to do so let’s just throw them together again. They’re just kind of going through the motions here with near falls being broken up by the third guy every time.

That’s fine as it builds some drama, but at the same time it really doesn’t do much at all. It’s repetitive, which is never a good thing in a match. It’s not a bad match, but it’s not that interesting at all. Finally Jericho takes a shot to the head and Show goes into Hell’s Gate for the tap. Not wild on the ending but whatever.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. Granted that might be because Show was in it and he just can’t do anything most of the time. What the heck happened to him? In WCW he was the MAN. Anyway, this wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Taker was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it?

Josh Matthews, who should be thankful for having a job given that he’s completely worthless, is with the survivors of Team Miz who say they’re all great.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

McCool, Jillian, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Layla
Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly, Eve, Melina

How sad is it that I have no clue what show most of these girls are on? So Melina is champion yet Mickie is the captain. I hate these matches as all of four people care and it’s a T&A match. Yeah the girls look good, but that’s all there is to it. The matches are the same every year and next to nothing ever changes. Why are these girls feuding? No reason, other than some are faces and some are heels.

I am bored out of my mind with this match. Why am I supposed to care about any of these women? Kelly eliminates Layla to absolutely no reaction. McCool apparently disrespects AJ Styles by using his finishing move, despite AJ being known for all his other stuff more than that. That was so overblown it was ridiculous. Eve is just worthless in the ring and it’s pitiful. The thing is, she looks good in shorts and a tight top so she’s told she can wrestle.

She puts out Jillian as still no one really cares. Beth puts Eve out in a few seconds to get us down to 3-3. Kelly goes out despite her face never hitting the mat. Mickie and Beth botch a crucifix but it gets three anyway. We have Mickie and Melina vs. Alicia and McCool.

Alicia goes out due to a high level of suck so we’re down to 2-1 as McCool tries so hard to get people to care about her or accept her as anything but the vagina Taker gets off in. That’s an image I didn’t want. Finally after far too long of a match Melina beats McCool to end this mess.

Rating: D. This was, as usual, a waste of time. The wrestling is ok, but geez what is it going to take to get it through the heads of the writers that NO ONE CARES??? Seriously, when was the last time you saw the crowd into a Divas match for a reason other than what the girls looked like? The division is a joke and always will be a joke because there are no characters, there are no stories, and the champions are flavors of the month, except for a few here and there.

Mickie, the most talented one, is criticized for not being a stick but having some meat on her which makes her more realistic. That’s evil apparently, and again shows everything that’s wrong with the women in wrestling. Scratch that. Everything wrong with the division is better.

We recap Batista vs. Rey, despite the match already happening. It sets up Batista saying he’s not sorry.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. John Cena

DX has gotten some heat for coming out together, and I can understand that. It makes it look like they don’t care about being champion, which is the point of the stupid match and being a wrestler in the first place but whatever. In a great moment, Shawn kicks HHH a few seconds into the match. I love that. He just made up for coming out with HHH as he says screw this guy, I want the title. That’s awesome.

This however creates a good thing and a bad thing, as we have the usual greatness that is Cena vs. Shawn, but it also sends us straight into another formula of a match, which is the last thing we need here after what we had earlier. Anyway we hit the floor after some good stuff, and as Cena is going to FU Shawn through a table, HHH is back for the save. He makes up for earlier and hits a spinebuster through the table with Shawn.

And yep, it’s formula time as it’s HHH vs. Cena in the ring while Shawn recovers. And after more good stuff there, we get the DX somewhat decent combustion. It of course ends with Cena and the STF, but Shawn gets a crossface instead. This is another ok match that is just pure formula stuff. It’s just take two guys, have them fight for three minutes then replace one guy.

Shawn kicks both guys, but HHH falls on Cena while Shawn falls outside for no apparent reason. We do get the always fun let’s go Cena, Cena sucks chants. I love those. FU to HHH as we’re in pure finishers/counters only. The problem with having double main events like these is that it keeps one from being the real main event.

It makes this match seem like less of something because we did it just 25 minutes ago. Just to further emphasize my point of only finishers at the end, Shawn kicks HHH for the third time and Cena hits an FU on Shawn to slam him into HHH for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. This wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Cena was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it? In case that looks familiar to you, it’s because it’s word for word the same as I put about the Smackdown title match but with Cena instead of Taker and the Big Show part edited out.

That’s because more or less it was the same thing but with different people in it. That’s the problem with these matches and booking like this: it’s repetitive, which makes it very boring, at least to me. The wrestling was fine given who you had in there, but MAN was it predictable.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good show and that’s primarily because of one thing: the booking MADE SENSE. There is not one thing here where you have to scratch your head and wonder what they heck they were thinking. Everything went as it should have and it worked out well. Feuds were advanced, the right guys went over, no big names lost credibility, and some feuds were ended. What more could you ask for?

The one thing that you could ask for was a more creative way to have the title matches. I hate matches where it’s just the same thing that it’s always been but with different people which is what the world title matches were here. It’s a good show, but it won’t blow you away by any means.

 

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