Wrestlemania XXXVI Night One: Broken Undertaker

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXXVI Part 1
Date: April 4, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Host: Rob Gronkowski

Sweet goodness that does not feel right. I’m not sure what to expect tonight because WWE didn’t feel the need to tell us what was going to be taking place on either night. This show is going to have about a hundred asterisks in the history books and that’s perfectly fine, but it doesn’t make things any less disappointing (not that it’s WWE’s fault). Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cesaro vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak takes him down by the arm to start but Cesaro powers up with a backbreaker to get out of trouble. That earns him a LeBell Lock (which Cole calls a Crossface, missing the point of the move almost entirely) to send Cesaro outside so Gulak dives on him for a bonus. Back in and Cesaro’s arm gets snapped across the top rope and a clothesline puts him on the floor again. Cesaro gets sent into the steps but he’s able to uppercut Gulak out of the air back inside for two. The Neutralizer can’t work but Cesaro uses the left arm uppercut and goes with a (no hands) spinning torture rack slam for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Just a match here and it did well enough with the warmup stuff, though my goodness it’s going to be a rough couple of nights. The lack of crowd reaction is going to hurt things a lot but that was always going to be the case. They were a little more energized than usual, but Cole on his own and nothing else as far as noise is going to make for some tough going.

Stephanie McMahon welcomes us to the show to explain that we are on a closed set with no audience. Tonight, they are going to be making people happy, because this is Wrestlemania. There’s your first WWE pat on the back of the night.

Instead of an original version of America the Beautiful, we get a montage of versions of the song played at previous Wrestlemanias. That’s a good one at least.

The opening video goes into the full pirate theme but the narrator says hang on a second because this is too cliched. Instead, he walks us through everything included, such as shots of heroes and catchphrases. It turns into a regular trailer, complete with the same narrator telling us to forget everything we know coming into tonight. Fate leads the way and fate has a funny way of surprising us. We go into For Those About To Rock for a better intro. I love pirate movies so this worked well for me.

Rob Gronkowski welcomes us to the show and says he’s the right man for the job because he knows how to start a thirty hour party. Mojo Rawley comes in to take some chops and it’s time to go to the ring.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kabuki Warriors vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

The Warriors are defending for the first time since mid December. Asuka laughs at Bliss to start and it’s off to Sane before anything happens. Kairi knocks Bliss down and messes with her bow so it’s a slap to the face, allowing Bliss to mess with Kairi’s hair for a change. It’s off to Cross for a running basement dropkick but Sane powers her into the corner. Asuka comes in and gets forearmed in the chest as everything breaks down.

Nikki dives off the apron to take out Sane, meaning it’s time for a hug back inside. Back in and Nikki sends Sane to the floor, only to have her dropkick through the ropes cut off. Cross gets taken into the corner but manages a sunset flip for two, setting up the tag to Bliss. That’s fine for Sane, who hits an Alberto top rope double stomp for her own two. Asuka works on an armbar but her bulldog is broken up.

Not that it matters as a kick to the face drops Bliss for two more. Bliss gets up and avoids a charge, allowing the hot tag to Cross to pick up the pace. Sane rakes her eyes but Asuka walks into the Purge. The Insane Elbow breaks up the cover though and they’re both down again. Cross goes for a rollup but gets pulled into the Asuka Lock.

That’s broken up with Twisted Bliss but Sane Intercepts Bliss to put everyone down. Cross catches Sane on top but gets caught in a powerbomb/top rope forearm combination for a rather near fall. Back up and Cross hits the Purge to drop Sane, setting up Twisted Bliss for the pin and the titles at 15:03.

Rating: C. This could have been worse but it went on a good bit too long. The title change was supposed to be a feel good moment but when the titles have never meant anything beyond their first few weeks, the impact isn’t really there. Cross was pushed as the star of the match and it was fine enough, though I have no faith in the futures of the titles.

The Artist Collective have a plan for Daniel Bryan.

Elias vs. King Corbin

Hold on though as Corbin shows us a clip of his attempted murder of Elias last week so Corbin demands a forfeit. Cue Elias to break the guitar over Corbin’s back and a good posting so we can get started. Elias elbows him down for one and a swinging neckbreaker gets the same. Corbin gets in a toss to the floor though and Elias is sent shoulder first into the post. Some elbows to the shoulder keep Elias down as Cole tries to make this story sound intense.

Corbin shouts at commentary a lot and then sends Elias shoulder first into the post again. Elias manages to reverse a whip to send Corbin’s shoulder into the post though and it’s time for a breather. Some clubberin in the corner puts Corbin down but he grabs Deep Six for two. Elias knees him in the face for two more but Corbin rolls away before the top rope elbow launches. An uppercut lets Corbin put his feet on the ropes for two so Elias grabs a rollup with tights for the pin at 8:53.

Rating: D. Raw style match here and that’s not the best thing in the world. It was fine for a revenge match as Elias was aggressive but pinning Corbin is more damaging to him than pin. That being said, Elias being launched off a ten foot high balcony is just an eight day injury now? Come on already.

We recap Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler. Lynch has been Raw Women’s Champion for a year now and has beaten everyone there is to beat but Baszler won a triple threat match, also including Bayley, at Survivor Series. Baszler was unstoppable in NXT and bit Becky’s neck to draw a lot of blood. Then she ran through the Elimination Chamber to earn the title shot in the most obvious result in years. Becky has been trying to play mind games but Baszler is such a killer that she doesn’t seem too bothered.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler

Becky is defending and drives her semi truck to the arena for her big entrance. Baszler wastes no time in going for the Kirifuda Clutch but Becky is outside in a hurry. Baszler follows but Becky sends her into the steps a few times and Baszler is banged up early. Back in and Becky hits her missile dropkick, setting up a beating in the corner. It’s too early for the Disarm-Her though and Becky has to get out of the Kirifuda Clutch.

A spinebuster into a double underhook spinning faceplant gets two and Becky is sent to the apron. They slug it out until a Rock Bottom onto the apron plants Baszler. A powerbomb into the cross armbreaker has Becky in trouble until she stacks Baszler up for two. That’s reversed into the Disarm-Her on Becky, followed by a knee to the face for another near fall.

Becky goes to the apron and gets in a Stunner over the ropes, setting up a quickly broken Disarm-Her over the ropes. Baszler reverses that into an even more quickly broken Kirifuda Clutch to send Becky outside. This time Baszler follows her out and swings Becky head first into the announcers’ table like she did on Raw. Back in and the standing version of the Clutch goes on but Becky flips backwards into a cradle to retain at 8:42.

Rating: B-. Uh….ok then. I have no idea why they need to keep the title on Becky at the moment as she has literally held the title for a year and is getting close to the modern record. I’m not sure what the point is in keeping it on her here as the only thing left is a submission match with Baszler or a one on one match with Rousey, which doesn’t seem likely. Good match, but pretty confusing result.

Undertaker is getting a limited series on the WWE Network. Makes sense given the upcoming 30 year mark.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Daniel Bryan

Zayn is defending with Cesaro, Shinsuke Nakamura and Drew Gulak all at ringside. Sami hits the very long pause button to start and Bryan finally gives chase, allowing Cesaro to cut Bryan off. They do the same thing again but this time it’s Nakamura playing Cesaro’s role. Gulak and Cesaro get into a fight on the floor until Gulak sends Nakamura over the barricade. Gulak nearly gets in a fight with Sami for the DQ but Bryan finally chases Sami down on the ramp.

Bryan starts in on the leg as Sami loudly begs off, only to be sent outside. That means a heck of a suicide dive, followed by a running dropkick in the corner for a bonus. Some knees to the face have Sami rocked but he scores with some forearms to slow Bryan down. Bryan fights back up but Cesaro and Nakamura jump Gulak. That earns them a double suicide dive, allowing Sami to kick Bryan out of the air for the surprise pin at 9:20.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with another surprising finish. Sami is a rather good choice for the cocky champion who keeps surviving and after everything he’s done over the years, I like the idea of letting him have the title for a bit. Throw in the issue of Bryan possibly self quarantining and there was little reason to switch the title here. Well other than the idea of Bryan facing a challenger of the week in one great match after another.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Jimmy Uso vs. Kofi Kingston vs. John Morrison

Morrison is defending for his team in a ladder match. Some monkey flips don’t work to start so everyone goes to the floor to grab a ladder each. Jimmy gets knocked down first and comes up holding his leg. Morrison stomps both of them down on the mat but has to fight off the SOS onto the ladder. Trouble in Paradise misses as well and it’s Kofi vs. Jimmy slugging it out on top.

A running dive over the top takes down Morrison and the ladder and they’re all down on the floor. Back in and Morrison hits the super Spanish Fly on Kofi, followed by the Superfly Splash from Jimmy. Kofi headbutts Morrison off the top of the ladder before diving off the top with the double stomp to Morrison’s chest. Jimmy slides in another ladder and wedges it inside the standing ladder.

A HARD whip sends Kofi face first into the bridged ladder and Morrison gets superkicked out of the air. Jimmy goes up but Morrison shoves the ladder over, sending Jimmy down for the big crash (it was such a drop that he changed directions after landing). Kofi catches Morrison on top for the slugout but here’s Jimmy with another ladder to put all three up at once. They all pull the title hook down at once and it’s a triple headbutt to knock Morrison down with the titles to retain at 18:36.

Rating: B. This felt like a good ladder match that would have made it into a great one had it been in front of a crowd. What we got was good enough though and the dives and landings were rather awesome. I liked this more than almost anything else but my goodness it’s hard to watch them land like this with no one being there to watch. Good match, but sad in its way.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins. Seth has turned into the Monday Night Messiah but Owens doesn’t think much of him. They both had teams built up but the AOP is sidelined due to Rezar’s injury and Samoa Joe is suspended. Therefore, it’s one on one with the idea that Owens has never had a Wrestlemania moment. That’s not quite how history works, but it’s what we’re getting.

Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens

Rollins is in white but the glove has been some king of Tiger King referenced. Owens slugs away to start and hits a backsplash to put Rollins on the floor in a hurry. A backdrop onto the apron has Owens in trouble and a Falcon Arrow onto the apron makes it even worse. The suicide dive is broken up with a right hand but Rollins is fine enough to hit the Sling Blade.

Owens hits a DDT to get a breather and the Swanton connects for two. The Pop Up Powerbomb misses and so does the Stunner, allowing Rollins to hit an enziguri. Owens blasts him with a clothesline though and it’s a double knockdown. Rollins is up first and hits some superkicks to set up the Stomp, only to get reversed into the Pop Up sitout Powerbomb for two. They head outside with Rollins hitting him with the bell….and that’s a DQ at 10:09.

Hold on though as Owens says Rollins isn’t much of a god if that’s the best he can do. Owens wants to continue it No DQ so Rollins is back in to knee him in the head as the bell rings. Rollins throws him to the floor and the steps bounce off of Owens’ head, followed by a chair to the back. Owens bells him in the head a few times (it rings even if you hit someone with the board underneath it) and then climbs the sign for a huge backsplash to send Rollins through the announcers’ table. They stagger back inside for the Stunner to finish Rollins at 17:26 (counting the break in the middle).

Rating: C. I wasn’t big on this match in the first place and the whole Owens has never had a Wrestlemania Moment deal is still stupid but at least they didn’t stick with the DQ. This feud has lost almost all of the steam that it had in the first place so hopefully it’s done here. Granted when you don’t have much of a TV show to lord over, you’re not going to be the best messiah in the world.

Mojo and Gronk talk about how great the show is when R-Truth comes up to complain about how hard everything is. Gronk knocks him down and Mojo gets the title back. Notice the completely fine announcers’ table in the background.

Paul Heyman scares Charly Caruso but says Drew McIntyre is the one who should be afraid. In 24 hours, McIntyre is being exposed as a fraud and he can crawl out of the ring, victimized and conquered.

We preview tomorrow’s matches.

Smackdown World Title: Braun Strowman vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending. Strowman can’t get the powerslam and it’s a pair of spears to drop him in the first minute. Make it three straight for two and then a fourth cuts Strowman down again. Strowman counters the Jackhammer into the powerslam and then another one and then a third and then a big running fourth for the pin and the title at 2:13. You could have gone either way but it’s better to have someone actually active instead of Goldberg. Strowman as champion is about two years overdue, but I can’t imagine this lasts very long.

Wrestlemania XXXVII is in Los Angels.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Undertaker, which is all about AJ not being impressed by the modern Undertaker. He has called out Undertaker’s real life family and Undertaker has been acting more like BikerTaker than the Deadman as they head into a Boneyard match.

Undertaker vs. AJ Styles

They are in a graveyard for this one and there goes the gong as a hearse pulls up to the gate. The casket is pulled out by some druids and it’s AJ inside for a good surprise. Undertaker rides in on the motorcycle to Metallica and AJ talks about Michelle McCool digging the grave. Undertaker goes after him so AJ grabs a rock, only to get sent into an open casket. Undertaker punches through a window and cuts his arm open but throws AJ on top of the hearse anyway.

Some right hands knock him off the hearse and Undertaker has a seat while asking if AJ wants more. After Undertaker quotes Clubber Lang (“You want some more? I got a lot more.”), AJ throws some leaves in his face and gets in a low blow. Undertaker stands up after some right hands and knocks AJ down again, this time into a grave. Cue the OC as this has turned into a western.

A bunch of light comes out of a building and the walls come down to reveal a bunch of masked men. They surround Undertaker and do the eternally brilliant thing of attacking him one at a time. With that taken care of, Anderson and Gallows jump Undertaker but he isn’t about to be hit with a shovel. Instead Undertaker takes it back and beats them down, allowing AJ to break a tombstone over his back.

AJ hammers away and calls him an old man but breaks his fingers on Undertaker’s head. They fight through a wall and both lay on the ground sound like they’re dead. AJ says Undertaker is nothing but Undertaker flips him off and says come on. A shovel over the back puts Undertaker down in a grave and AJ goes to the machine with a barrel of dirt. Then a light shows up behind him and Undertaker pops up to beat on him some more. AJ climbs up a well placed ladder to get on the roof of the barn, so Undertaker makes flames come up to keep him in place.

Anderson and Gallows are up there too, with Gallows being thrown off. Anderson gets Tombstoned onto the metal roof and Undertaker chokeslams AJ off the roof. Undertaker climbs down and asks AJ what his wife’s name is now. They’re just getting started as Undertaker carries him over to the grave. AJ apologizes so Undertaker picks him up and says AJ put up a great fight. Undertaker hugs him and says most people wouldn’t have given him that kind of a fight. Undertaker turns to leave….and then knocks AJ into the grave. Undertaker gets in the machine and pours the dirt on AJ for the win at about 18:30.

Rating: A+. I don’t know what else you could have wanted from this match. This went so far beyond anything resembling sane or rational and went into complete insanity territory, making it one of the most entertaining things I can remember WWE doing in a LONG time. Of course it’s not good but that’s the point. This was entertaining, and that’s a lot more than you are going to get out of most Undertaker matches these days. Watch this and be prepared to laugh quite a bit, because it’s like Final Deletion but with production value.

AJ’s hand sticks out of the dirt as Undertaker gets on his bike. He throws up the fist so more fire comes up on the building and the Undertaker symbol lights up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m really not sure how to grade this one but I liked some parts of it well enough. The problem really is in the atmosphere, as the show feels so weak that there isn’t much that can be praised. The people were working hard and I feel so bad for them to not get their big Wrestlemania stadium experience. What we got was fun at points, but the lack of crowd energy or big show feeling made it more of a chore to watch at times. It definitely has its moments though, and I didn’t hate it by any means. Check out the main event for sure though, probably with some friends to watch with you, and have a good time.

Results

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross b. Kabuki Warriors – Twisted Bliss to Sane

Elias b. King Corbin – Rollup with tights

Becky Lynch b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Sami Zayn b. Daniel Bryan – Helluva Kick

John Morrison b. Kofi Kingston and Jimmy Uso – Morrison pulled down the titles

Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins – Stunner

Braun Strowman b. Goldberg – Running powerslam

Undertaker b. AJ Styles – Undertaker buried Styles

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXV (Original): I Still Don’t Believe It

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

As long as this show is going to be, there’s something special about getting to see it every year. This year’s show is built around the three major matches and the question of how many happy endings we can have. You know it’s not going to be all three, but which of the three doesn’t go through. Those matches consist of Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins, Smackdown World Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston and the winner take all match for both Women’s titles as Ronda Rousey faces Charlotte and Becky Lynch in a genuinely historic main event. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Nese is challenging after winning a tournament and wastes no time in trying a jumping knee. Murphy gets sent outside but is fine enough to drop Nese ribs first onto the turnbuckle as we go split screen for an ad. Well at least they didn’t do this during the TV build. Back to full with Nese fighting out of a chinlock and suplexing the champ into the corner. Murphy gets tied in the ropes for a Lionsault but catches Nese with a superkick. A spinning faceplant gets two and some knees to the face have Nese in more trouble.

Nese is fine enough to hit a reverse hurricanrana and they trade a series of strikes to the face. Nese’s kneeling over the back piledriver gets two, followed by the 450 for the same. Murphy is right back up with Murphy’s Law but Nese gets a foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Murphy tries Nese’s running knee in the corner but walks into a superkick. A German suplex into the corner sets up the real running knee to give Nese the pin and the title at 10:43.

Rating: C+. Pretty good stuff here, even if I can’t imagine Nese holding the title very long. He’s the New York guy so it makes sense to have him win the title for a feel good moment. It wasn’t the most surprising thing in the world but it’s a good idea to open the night with a mostly short but effective match. Not bad at all, though Nese is a short term champion at best.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Naomi, Lana, Nikki Cross, Asuka, Mickie James, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Ruby Riott, Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, Zelina Vega, Dana Brooke, Eve Torres, Mandy Rose, Candice LeRae, Maria Kanellis, Sonya Deville, Carmella

It’s a wild brawl to start with Nikki Cross chasing Maria in a circle and getting rid of her. Asuka sends Nikki out and LeRae is out as well. Ember Eclipses Lana (as Captain Marvel) and knocks out Naomi, followed by another Eclipse to Mandy. Lana manages to get rid of Ember and insists that she’s #1 before kicking Sane in the face. Sane goes up and gets shoved to the apron, leaving us with a Lana vs. Logan staredown.

The Riott Squad gets together and dumps Lana but Sane is back in with the Insane Elbow on Logan. The Squad gets rid of Sane though and Logan lifts Morgan up for a flipping Stunner on Vega. Now it’s Asuka taking the triple teaming but she slides back in from the apron. Dana of all people fights back against the Squad and gets rid of Ruby. Logan is out as well but Vega blocks a cartwheel elbow.

Mandy and Sonya get rid of Vega and Brooke as we’re down to Logan, Rose, Deville, James and Asuka. James superkicks Mandy out but gets eliminated by Sonya to get us to three. Asuka sends Deville to the apron but Logan dumps both of them out….as Carmella slides back in, JUST LIKE LAST YEAR. Carmella knocks Logan over but Logan keeps her feet above the floor. A superkick gets rid of Logan to give Carmella the win at 10:30.

Rating: D. Hey, remember last year when someone snuck back in at the end and won the Women’s Battle Royal in a big surprise despite doing nothing coming into the match where someone could have gotten something out of it? No particular reason for asking of course. The match was your usual deal of everyone standing around until it was time for them to be eliminated until the ending. It was shorter than last year’s though and that’s an improvement. Oh and so much for Lacey Evans winning the thing as a surprise.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

The Revival is defending and this wasn’t announced on the Kickoff Show. Dawson takes Hawkins into the corner to start and gets two off a rollup. It’s off to Ryder vs. Wilder, the latter of whom gets the loudest cheer of his career after he decked the guy who jumped Bret last night. An armbar keeps Ryder down and Dawson comes back in to rip at Ryder’s face. Ryder gets in a suplex and tosses Wilder into the corner but Dawson knocks Hawkins off the apron.

We hit the chinlock on Ryder for a bit until he backdrops his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag to Hawkins. A backslide gets two on Dawson and Wilder gets knocked off the apron. The double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and it’s back to Ryder. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson and Ryder suplex suplexes Wilder to the floor for a scary crash. Hawkins throws Ryder back in for the tag but Wilder breaks up the cover.

Wilder DDTs Ryder on the floor and Hawkins takes a brainbuster to put all four down on the floor. Back in Dawson is rather cocky about beating Hawkins, who seems to be a bit dead. You never want to be too cocky in wrestling though and it’s a small package to pin Dawson for the titles at 13:21.

Rating: C. Ignoring Hawkins losing 269 matches in a row and not having a win since November 2016, Ryder not winning a non-Main Event match on TV since December 2016 and the team not winning a match together since 2008, this makes perfect sense. The love for the New York fans is strong tonight, which makes me wonder what kind of horrible things they have in mind for the main card. Just let the Revival go sit at home until their contracts are up though because I’d rather they go out with just this humiliation rather than seeing what else WWE could think of for them.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Colin Jost, Michael Che, Braun Strowman, Otis, Tucker, Kalisto, Gran Metalik, Lince Dorado, Ali, Titus O’Neil, Konnor, Viktor, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Andrade, Jinder Mahal, Harper, Bo Dallas, Bobby Roode, Apollo Crews, Bo Dallas, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, No Way Jose, Tyler Breeze, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Rhyno, Shelton Benjamin, EC3

Hey Harper is back. The SNL guys bail to the floor as Breeze and EC3 are both out. Shelton and Dorado are eliminated as well with Strowman throwing everyone he comes near. Harper vs. Strowman gets a big reaction but everyone piles onto them to break it up. Titus misses a charge and gets eliminated, followed by Ali tornado DDTing Jose and tossing him. Strowman gets sent into the post and goes through the ropes to the floor as Anderson is tossed.

Rhyno is out as well and the Hardys get into a mini match with Roode/Gable, with Roode being eliminated. Metalik gets thrown out by Mahal and Andrade monkey flips Kalisto out. There goes Gable as the ring is clearing out in a hurry. Tucker runs the Ascension over and there’s a double Caterpillar to both of them. The Ascension is thrown out but Strowman tosses Heavy Machinery.

Mahal is out next as Harper tries to suplex Ali, only to have Strowman kick them both out at the same time. We’re down to Strowman, Che, Jost, Matt, Jeff, Apollo and Andrade. Apollo and Andrade go to the apron and Andrade snaps off a hurricanrana to eliminate both of them in a dumb move. The Hardys try to pull Strowman out but the SNL guys come in and fail to throw them out.

Strowman shrugs them off and dumps the Hardys, leaving him alone with Jost and Che. One of them grabs a mic and says this doesn’t have to end in violence, so here’s his therapist to talk Strowman through this. Strowman beats him up and gives him a chokeslam (good thing the therapist knows how to take a flat back bump) before slapping Che out. A running boot in the corner misses and Jost goes for the elimination but gets shoved away. Strowman throws him out for the win at 10:24.

Rating: D. Yeah it was stupid and the SNL guys were annoying, but it was on the Kickoff Show and the right person won so I can’t complain all that much. Strowman should have won something bigger than this but at least he comes away with something instead of just being tossed out like anyone else. You know, like they did with Asuka in the first match.

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful.

Helicopters fly over the stadium instead of the usual planes.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about this being the biggest stage and them being the players and storytellers. We see stills of famous Wrestlemania moments as the wrestlers talk about having the chance to live forever. They switch into a regular video of everyone involved with Lynch saying that they are the storytellers. This is a great idea, but not exactly practical when you consider that this is Wrestlemania GET EVERYONE ON THE CARD.

Here’s Wrestlemania host Alexa Bliss to say that Wrestlemania needs a goddess. She snaps her fingers…..and here’s Hulk Hogan. Well that works. Hogan: “It’s great to be back here in the Silverdome brother!” Ok that was funny. Hogan: “Ok it’s great to be back here in the MetLife Center!” He hits the catchphrase and poses with Bliss as Paul Heyman of all people storms out between the two of them. Heyman goes to the ring and says if they’re not closing the show, they’re not hanging around. They’re getting their business done and going to Las Vegas where Lesnar is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Lesnar is defending. Rollins has a new BEAST SLAYER graphic but Brock knees him off the apron and it’s an F5 on the floor before the bell rings. Lesnar throws him into various things at ringside and then over the announcers’ table a few times. They get inside but the referee won’t start the match because Rollins isn’t ready. Lesnar tosses him outside again for another whip over the announcers’ table and through the top piece of the table.

They go back inside and Rollins is mostly dead but gets to his feet for the opening bell. Three straight German suplexes let Lesnar bounce as Rollins’ back is all kinds of pretty colors. The F5 is escaped and the ref is bumped, allowing Rollins to hit the low row. Rollins hits the low superkick and the Stomp connects. A second and third Stomp give Rollins the title at 2:30.

Jerry Lawler joins commentary.

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles

The CGI graphics are back with Orton’s being a HUGE snake that made me jump. Battle over respect between the two of them as Orton has asked why it took AJ so long to get here. An early RKO attempt is blocked so Orton goes with a thumb to the eye and the Orton Stomp. AJ gets back up with the dropkick and the slingshot forearm to the floor drops Orton again. Orton is thrown back in and knocks AJ into the barricade. The chinlock doesn’t last long as AJ fights up with the Phenomenal Blitz and a basement forearm.

The Styles Clash is blocked and Orton tries the hanging DDT, which is reversed into the Calf Crusher. Once the rope is grabbed AJ goes to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but drops back down as Orton jumps for the RKO and crashes, allowing AJ to hit the springboard 450 for two. Orton is back up with the top rope superplex as the fans are interested in something else.

The hanging DDT plants AJ and Orton plays to the crowd to get their attention back. The RKO is countered with an enziguri but the second attempt connects for two. It feels like it’s been awhile since anyone kicked out of that. With the regular version not working, Orton loads up a super RKO but gets kicked out to the floor. That means a Phenomenal Forearm to the outside and the regular one finishes Orton at 16:17.

Rating: B-. This was about what you would have expected with good action between two talented veterans. AJ knowing that the RKO counter was coming was fine and the ending was as decisive as you could get with AJ surviving the RKO and winning clean. It’s a perfectly good match and it’s not like the two of them have anything else to do at the moment. Expect a rematch next month.

Lacey Evans cameo, though this time she stops to sneer at the crowd.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar

The Usos are defending. Jey and Black start things off but Sheamus tags himself in and low bridges Jey to the floor. Black gets taken down and it’s Rusev coming in to hold Black up for a kick from Rusev. It’s off to Ricochet with the springboard clothesline for two on Nakamura before spinning around Cesaro multiple times for a headscissors.

That just earns him a shot to the face and it’s time to swing Ricochet while Sheamus beats on Rusev’s chest. Nakamura tries to make a save so Sheamus beats on him as well, followed by the same to Jey and Black, all while Ricochet is swinging Ricochet for well over a minute. The Sharpshooter goes on with Jey making the save, earning himself a trip to the floor with his brother.

We settle down (kind of) to Black bringing in Ricochet, who gets caught by Rusev in a swinging release Rock Bottom. Everyone goes to the corner for the required Tower of Doom, with Ricochet rolling through because he’s Ricochet and more awesome than you. Black knees Sheamus down and Ricochet hits the 630 for two with a bunch of people diving in for the save. We get a parade of kicks to the face with Sheamus taking the double superkick. The Double Us retains the Usos’ titles at 10:05.

Rating: C+. The big spots helped a lot here and it felt like an amped up Smackdown match, which is one of the best things that you can have in this situation. There’s no other way you can go with no story and the match being thrown together on Smackdown. Just have them do the spots and do the best they can, like Ricochet sticking the landing and that insane swing.

Recap of the Hall of Fame.

Honky Tonk Man (Long overdue)

Harlem Heat (More than deserved)

Torrie Wilson (The bar has been lowered)

Brutus Beefcake (Sure why not)

Hart Foundation (Yep, and may I add yep)

Sue Aitchison, with John Cena’s 600th Make-A-Wish (Nothing wrong with that)

D-Generation X (Fine, though they feel weak for headliners)

We recap Shane McMahon vs. The Miz in the feud that WWE cares about and thinks we do too. Miz’s dad is a horrible person and only cared about his son when Miz started teaming with Shane, who didn’t like having to fix Miz’s daddy issues. Tonight it’s Falls Count Anywhere to blow it off.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere. Shane makes Greg Hamilton do his entrance three times, with the third being held out extra long. Miz’s dad is in the front row so Shane goes straight to the floor to choke him. The chase is on but Shane gets in a monitor shot to the head. The big elbow through the announcers’ table is loaded up so Miz’s dad gets in the way. Still doesn’t help the fact that he’s a horrible father.

Dad gets in the ring and puts up his fists so Shane jumps him. The beating brings Miz back into the ring to take Shane apart and send him into the barricade before checking on his dad. With the medics taking care of Papa Miz, Miz tackles Shane over the barricade and they head into the crowd, eventually going to the tech arena near one of the towers that holds up the structure above the ring. They go into an open area of the crowd with Miz hitting Shane in the foot with a chair.

Another shot to the back lets Miz knock Shane over to the international commentators station where tables are overturned. A chokeslam puts Shane through the table for two and a monitor shot knocks Shane over a barricade and down into the shadows (cool visual). Miz follows and gets a delayed two as replays show Shane landing on top of a golf cart.

They fight up a camera tower ala HHH vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania XVII with Miz hitting a Skull Crushing Finale onto a metal platform for two. Shane gets in a shot to the face and climbs to the top of the tower as this isn’t going to go well. Miz follows him up and gets rather stalkerish as he stares Shane down to one knee. Shane begs off so Miz hammers away and suplexes him off the tower onto a crashpad….with Shane landing on top for the pin at 15:38.

Rating: C-. Why not. Why not. WHY THE #$**#%%!!@# NOT! Why shouldn’t we spend five months building this up and giving Shane McMahon a title before having him win at Wrestlemania? I’m sure this will continue, because going from November until April isn’t long enough for a Shane McMahon story. That’s just great.

The match itself was your usual walking around the stadium fight with Miz dominating through most of it until the end. The deal with Miz’s dad was a cool moment but they should have brought him out later on in the match instead of so close to the beginning. Not bad overall, but the ending was stupid.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Bayley and Sasha Banks are defending. The IIconics are a devil (Billie) and a black winged angel (Peyton). Natalya and Beth are in matching pink and black so here’s Bret Hart to stand with them on the stage and then go to the back. It’s a brawl to start with Nia being sent into the steps. We settle down to Peyton getting beaten up but Billie helps her out, allowing them to hit their superhero pose.

Beth gets bulldogged onto Billie’s knee with the kickout making Peyton scream. Natalya comes in for a Hart Attack for two on Billie with Bayley making the save. It’s off to Sasha, who is taken down without too much effort. Natalya and Beth lift Sasha into the air so Bayley makes the save and throws Bayley at Beth for the Bank Statement but Beth powers out as you probably expected.

Natalya puts Bayley and Sasha in the Sharpshooter at the same time until Tamina breaks it up with a superkick. Nia gets back in and starts crushing people, setting up Nia and Tamina going up top at the same time. Beth saves Banks from death by shoving Nia off and Sasha drops the frog splash for two on Natalya. Beth is back up and takes Bayley to the top for a super Glam Slam….but Billie comes in and steals the pin and the title at 10:46.

Rating: D. Some of the spots were good but at the same time, there were too many people running around and it hurt things a lot. I do like the IIconics coming in and stealing the belts as it certainly fits their style better (Do they even have a regular finisher?). But yeah, just too much going on when it didn’t need to be the case. Drop Beth and Natalya and it would have fit better, but I guess the Beth Phoenix fan club needed one more moment?

The helicopter pilots from earlier are here.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan. Kingston has basically done everything there is to do in the company outside of winning the World Title. He got close in the Elimination Chamber but couldn’t quite pull it off. Vince McMahon then decided to throw one challenge after another at him with Kofi coming up just short every time until Big E. and Xavier Woods won a tag team gauntlet match to get him the title shot. If Kofi doesn’t win here, I don’t know if he ever will.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging with New Day in his corner while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a present for Kofi, but only after he wins. They go to the mat to start with Kofi sticking the landing off a monkey flip to send Bryan outside. That means the big dive over the top as the roster is watching in the locker room again, where there is a total of one single monitor showing the match. Back in and Kofi tries to jump a little too much, allowing Bryan to pull him down into a surfboard.

Some forearms to the back of the head seem to wake Kofi up and it’s a clothesline into the Boom Drop. Bryan bails outside and Kofi dives after, only to crash onto the announcers’ table ribs first. Back in and we hit the waistlock for a good while as Bryan stays on the ribs. He switches over to the Boston crab, eventually stepping to the side to make it half Liontamer. With that broken, Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but gets elbowed down three times in a row.

Kofi drops a top rope splash to the back for two but the ribs are banged up again in the process. Trouble in Paradise misses and they go to some rollups for near falls until Kofi kicks him in the head. Bryan stops him with a stomp out of the corner and busts out the YES pose for a nice callback. The running knee is countered into a rollup and SOS gets two but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring.

The long crawl gets Kofi’s leg on the rope and Bryan is starting to get mad. The kicks to the ribs have Kofi in trouble but he fires back kicks of his own, capped off by a reverse suplex (ok then) for a close two. Rowan goes after New Day but Kofi hits him with Trouble in Paradise, followed by the Midnight Hour on the floor. Bryan’s suicide dive is countered by a right hand but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Bryan to hit the running knee for two, causing the fans to build a roof on the stadium and then blow it off.

Bryan has had it and starts stomping the head as Woods and Big E. watch on. The LeBell Lock goes on and the referee checks the arm….which stays up. Bryan hits him in the face and pulls again but Kofi rolls out and hammers away at Bryan, who won’t let go of Kofi’s hand. That lets Kofi stomp away for a change and Bryan is done, setting up Trouble in Paradise to give Kofi the pin and the title at 23:41.

Rating: A-. I mean….they could have gone out there and demonstrated how to make a pimento loaf and it wouldn’t have mattered as long as they had that ending. That was a genuine Wrestlemania moment and you could feel what it meant to everyone. This was incredible and one of the best moments they could have had. Eleven years ago, Kofi had the worst debut match I’ve ever seen and now he’s WWE Champion at Wrestlemania. Not too shabby.

Post match Woods pulls off the cover and unveils the non-wooden title so Kofi can pose with the right design, already complete with custom side plates. Kofi’s kids come in to celebrate and now it’s time to open the present. It’s a new New Day shirt with Kofi holding the title.

We recap the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

Bliss, now in a different outfit, goes in to see Jost and Che as they’re checked for injuries. She says don’t worry because they’re in good hands….because Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are the doctors? And giving them prostate exams? Am I missing a joke here?

Booker T. joins commentary.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and I believe he’s dressed as Mysterio from Spider-Man. Joe goes straight at him and Rey hits a 619 in less than a minute. Rey’s wheelbarrow bulldog is countered into the Koquina Clutch….and Rey is out at 1:00. So I’m thinking he’s still a bit injured? Booker: “I DID ALL MY PREP WORK FOR THAT???”

Trailer for Batista’s new movie.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns is back from leukemia and needed a first singles match. Drew took out both Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins and is promising to do the same to Reigns tonight.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre is played to the ring by the New York Police Department Bagpipe Band. Reigns lowers his head to start and gets kicked in the face but what looked to be a powerslam is escaped. That means a legdrop to the back of the head over the middle rope but Drew is right back with the Glasgow Kiss. The chinlock has Reigns in more trouble until Drew takes him outside for a suplex, thereby upping the total amount of trouble.

The reverse Alabama Slam gives Drew two and he tells Reigns he should have said no. A flipping slam off the top has Reigns down again as Drew tells him that he broke the Shield. The Future Shock (Drew: “THIS ONE IS FOR AMBROSE!”) is broken up so Drew slaps him in the face. A big boot sends Drew outside and it’s a Samoan drop on the floor. Back in and the jumping clothesline puts Drew down, followed by the Superman Punch to do it again. The spear finishes Drew at 10:10.

Rating: C-. Totally standard Raw main event with Drew trying but not having a prayer of winning. There’s only so much you can do when everything is against you like this and Drew tried as hard as he can. Just getting this spot is Drew’s big win of the night and that’s not the worst place to be. He’ll be back and do just fine because he’s that good.

Here’s Elias to play some drums rather well. Now he’s at a piano (teleporting from one to the other) and does quite splendidly there too. Now he’s in the middle of the ring with his guitar. Elias the drummer and Elias the piano player play him in and he continues to have chops. Piano and Drum take a bow and now guitar Elias is on his own. The fans sing a little OH WALK WITH ELIAS and Elias promises more versions of himself, including a harpsichord player. As he starts his song, a SPECIAL BULLETIN appears on screen showing….the 1932 World Series?

Babe Ruth calls his shot (yes he did) and hits a home run….and here’s John Cena to Basic Thuganomics. Well you know the Yankees gear is making his skin crawl. Cena says Elias got the worst deal because John Cena is about to turn heel. He feels like he’s watching one of his movies because this whole thing sucks.

Cena isn’t feeling it because this is a wasted wrestling experiment. Cena: “They call me the golden shovel so I’m about to bury your push.” He throws him some nuts and says there’s no AA today, but here’s an FU. Cena lays him out with the knuckles and plants him with the FU. This worked well as Cena is often at his best when he’s making fun of himself.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Batista wanted one more match with HHH to end their careers on his terms so he beat up Ric Flair to get HHH’s attention. The match is on and it’s No Holds Barred.

Shawn Michaels is on commentary.

Batista vs. HHH

No Holds Barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista slips through the ropes on the way into the ring before heading outside to glare at Shawn. He even walks around the ring and does his entrance again, this time without the slipping. HHH’s entrance video seems to be inspired by Mad Max and shows a road race. The stage opens up and the car drives out with HHH on the back. I’ve seen worse.

Batista drives him into the corner to start but gets elbowed out to the floor. They fight to the floor with HHH going over the announcers’ table but managing to pull out a tool box to hit Batista in the head. Now it’s a chain to whip Batista in the back and choke a bit before going for some pliers. Batista’s finger gets bent back and HHH stomps on the pliers to make it even worse. Now it’s time for some needle nose pliers, but first he sits in a chair on Batista’s throat. HHH: “THAT’S A NICE NOSE RING!” And then he rips it out with the pliers!

Graves: “Batista won’t be able to be a guardian of the house like this! This guy is my boss!” Batista heads to the floor (Shawn: “His nose is bleeding!” Graves: “YOU THINK???”) and drops HHH onto the announcers’ table three times in a row without breaking the thing. Some chairs to the back keep HHH in trouble and they head back inside with Batista busting out a White Noise of all things.

Back to the floor with Batista putting the steps onto an announcers’ table and clearing off a second one, complete with a point to Shawn. The Batista Bomb off the steps is countered with a backdrop and the table STILL doesn’t break. Good grief where have those tables been all these years? HHH gets up, throws a crotch chop, and spears Batista through the German table. They slowly get back inside and HHH (eventually) finds a sledgehammer.

That just earns him a spear for two but a charge with the hammer is cut off by HHH’s raised boot. The spinebuster connects and it’s time for the Batista Bomb, with HHH dropping the hammer on his way down. That gets two and Batista brings the steps inside. He takes too long punching in the corner (right in front of the steps because wrestlers never learn) and gets powerbombed down onto the steps.

The Pedigree….only gets two as this keeps going. Batista gets in a DDT onto the steps and things stop again but here’s Ric Flair (I was waiting on him) to hand HHH a sledgehammer. HE COULDN’T DO THIS TEN MINUTES AGO??? HHH uses the steps to launch into a sledgehammer shot to the head but Batista pops back up so he can eat the Pedigree for the pin at 24:49. You know, because a JUMPING HAMMER TO THE HEAD isn’t enough to pin someone.

Rating: D+. The first ten minutes of this was very good but, as tends to be the case for almost any HHH match anymore, it went on too long because there was way too much laying around between moves. The ending looked ridiculous as well but that’s another situation. What they did early on was entertaining and brutal (that pliers thing was nuts) but I was looking at the clock near the end, which happens way too often.

Alexa Bliss (outfit #3) has the B Team model AND STILL CHAMPION Daniel Bryan shirts. Ron Simmons comes in for the cameo.

JBL joins commentary.

Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin

Rating: F. The idea of Kurt Angle losing to Baron Corbin in his last match is a failure. Not because it’s Angle last match. Not because the match wasn’t good. Not because WHY? But because we now have to deal with more Baron Corbin on Raw as more fans’ heads explode as we try to figure out what WWE sees in him. I’m sure this was Angle’s decision and while I can respect that, someone named McMahon should have overridden him.

Post match Angle wants his music played one last time so we can get in one more YOU SUCK. That’s exactly what he gets, as he should.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with special contacts in, is defending and Balor is the Demon, making its Wrestlemania debut. Balor hits a spinwheel kick and ax kick to the back, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. There’s the big flip dive but Lashley catches him with a spinebuster back inside. Lashley hits a heck of a spear through the ropes to drive Balor to the floor, followed by a regular one for two back inside. Balor gets back up and powerbombs Lashley (good one too) and the Coup de Grace gives Balor the title back at 4:04.

Rating: C. The spots were good (that spear was awesome) and the powerbomb looked awesome, but the problem is they didn’t need to do the Demon here. I get why they did it and it makes sense to do it at Wrestlemania, but at the same time what’s the point in having him do it if he can already beat Lashley and Lio Rush? It’s a good enough match, but this story was them trading the title and then the Demon doing what regular Balor could do.

Alexa (#4) announces the new WWE attendance record of 82,265. She thinks we need a break though so here are R-Truth and Carmella for the world’s largest dance break.

Wrestlemania XXXVI is in Tampa Bay on April 5, 2020.

We recap the women’s triple threat match. Becky Lynch has become the people’s champion, Charlotte is the Smackdown Women’s Champion and the corporate pick and Ronda Rousey is the Raw Women Champion and the unstoppable force. Tonight is winner take all for both belts, but it’s much more about the history because the match is actually headlining the show.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Ronda is Raw Women’s Champion and Charlotte is Smackdown Women’s Champion….and she comes in via helicopter and lands in the parking lot, where a red carpet is rolled out for her in a Horseman homage. Since she has to walk a good ways into the stadium, here are Joan Jett and the Blackhearts to play Ronda to the ring. The bell rings at 12:01am and Becky goes straight for the Disarm-Her on Ronda but gets shoved away so they can all head outside.

That means a Piper’s Pit for both of them and Ronda starts the trash talk. Charlotte gets up and sends Rousey into the barricade, setting up a showdown with Charlotte inside. The Disarm-Her to Becky is broken up and it’s Ronda coming back in to kick Becky in the face. A double powerbomb over the top is countered into a double armbar on Becky and Charlotte. Becky escapes and dropkicks Ronda to the floor for a NASTY crash on her back. Charlotte Downward Spirals Becky into the buckle for two as we look at Rousey landing square on her back again.

Becky is right back with the Disarm-Her but Ronda comes back to life and makes the save. A running knee breaks up the armbar on Becky and Charlotte hits a double Natural Selection for two each. Becky gets sent outside so Charlotte chops Ronda, who tells her to bring it. That’s just what Charlotte does with a backhand to the face so Ronda hits a jumping knee, which is countered into a Liontamer. Becky breaks it up with a bulldog and hits a double DDT for two each.

A super Bexploder gets two on Charlotte, setting up a double high crossbody from Rousey. The double armbar is countered with a double powerbomb Ronda is done for the moment. Becky calls Charlotte to her and avoids a charge, letting Becky kick her to the floor. The Disarm-Her goes on and Rousey uses the ropes to stand up for the break. A missed charge lets Becky get the Disarm-Her in the corner until Charlotte’s big boot breaks it up.

Charlotte starts in on Rousey’s knee and gets the Figure Four but Becky comes off the top with a legdrop for the save. And now, a table because that’s what this match was calling for. Rousey breaks up a powerbomb through the table and turns the table over, saying tables are for b****** (at least the third time she’s used that word so far). Charlotte comes back in for a double spear as Cole’s voice is almost gone.

The table is set up in the corner and Charlotte gets two off a spear to Becky. Rousey gets back up and helps Becky drive Charlotte somewhat through the table to knock her outside. The fight is on and Rousey goes with a Shining Wizard and tries Piper’s Pit….but gets reversed into a crucifix to give Becky the pin and the titles at 22:27!

Rating: B. The ending was straight out of Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania XVII with the submission attempts all match until the quick pinfall. What matters here is Becky defeated Rousey to win the titles as she should have. That was how this show needed to end and it did, even if the ending could have been a bit smoother. Charlotte will be fine and I’m curious to see who goes after Becky as the first victim.

Replays show Rousey’s shoulders were WAY up so there’s your story going forward (if Rousey sticks around). Cole: “Tonight will forever be known as WrestleMANia!” Oh just stop dude. Pyro and posing takes us out.

Overall Rating: B-. Let’s get the things I got wrong out of the way first. First: this was WAY better than I was expecting after last year’s near nightmare of a show. Second: they actually did give us three happy endings, which I said several times would not happen. I’m very glad to be wrong on that, but I certainly was wrong. Third: yeah HHH vs. Batista went on too long and it brought things down. I had high hopes and they didn’t come through.

Now for the good stuff: the right people won (mostly) and the big matches all went to the right people. For the first time in way too long, we had something to cheer about. If that’s it for Lesnar at the moment, thank goodness because he needs to go away for a long time and leave the title here. Rollins will be fine as champion for the summer before someone wins Money in the Bank and takes it from him (It’s going to be Corbin isn’t it?). Becky winning was the right way to go also, even if the ending was a little rushed. There’s one big one left though.

Kofi Kingston is WWE Champion. That was one of the best moments I’ve seen WWE put on in years and might pass Bryan in New Orleans. It felt special and you don’t get that often enough, mainly because there was serious doubt if they could actually pull the trigger. I loved that moment and was happier than I’ve been at something in a long time. I’d have loved to see it close the show, but I get why they couldn’t go there. Incredible moment though.

Overall, the pacing was FAR better than what they’ve had in recent years and while there was a lot of stuff they needed to trim down (despite having multiple matches go less than five minutes), it didn’t drag nearly as bad as it has before. It still needs to be shorter by about an hour (at least) and not everyone needs to be on the show, but for what we got, it was one of the better shows in recent memory and we got a genuine Wrestlemania moment. Well done, and it was close to being great.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Brock Lesnar – Stomp

AJ Styles b. Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm

Usos b. The Bar, Aleister Black/Ricochet and Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev – Double Us to Sheamus

Shane McMahon b. The Miz – McMahon pinned Shane after a superplex off a camera tower

IIconics b. Boss N Hug Connection, Nia Jax/Tamina and Beth Phoenix/Natalya – Super Glam Slam to Bayley

Kofi Kingston b. Daniel Bryan – Trouble in Paradise

Samoa Joe b. Rey Mysterio – Koquina Clutch

Roman Reigns b. Drew McIntyre – Spear

HHH b. Batista – Pedigree

Baron Corbin b. Kurt Angle – End of Days

Finn Balor b. Bobby Lashley – Coup de Grace

Becky Lynch b. Ronda Rousey and Charlotte – Crucifix to Rousey

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – February 28, 2020: Two At Once

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 28, 2020
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

Things are changing in a hurry around here as Goldberg is Universal Champion. That alone would be a huge deal but now we have the return of John Cena, who seems ready to get in the ring at Wrestlemania in just over five weeks. It’s the busy season again and that means things are going to get interesting in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Here are yesterday’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Goldberg to get things going. It’s not about who’s last because it’s all about who’s next. He throws the mic down and here’s Roman Reigns (dang they’re not waiting around for this one), which Goldberg seems to like. They stare each other down until Reigns says “I’m next”, as the Wrestlemania sign looms over them.

Classic John Cena Moment: the debut match against Kurt Angle in 2002, which was a heck of a match aside from just the promo and slap. The Undertaker handshake felt important too.

Naomi vs. Bayley

Non-title. Hold on though as Bayley has a mic and says she shouldn’t have to be here in front of these little idiot fans. She already made history last night so she’s just here to introduce a future multi platinum recording artist. That would be Sasha Banks, so Bayley jumps the distracted Naomi from behind. Naomi kicks her in the face and hits a dropkick into the corner, only to get sent face first into the corner. The Rear View draws Banks in for the DQ at 2:38.

Lacey Evans and here we go.

Naomi/Lacey Evans vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Lacey and Naomi start with some horrible dropkicks to the floor, followed by stereo dives….or in Lacey’s case a jump over the top onto the apron and a fall onto Bayley. Back from a break with Sasha sending Naomi face first into the mat and bringing Bayley back in. Bayley works on an armbar as we hear about Lacey changing her ways and wanting to be a role model.

A knee to the face gives Bayley two and it’s back to Sasha, leaving Bayley to tell the fans to shut up. Naomi finally kicks her away and brings in Lacey to start cleaning house. Lacey kicks Banks off the apron and hits the slingshot elbow onto Bayley. Naomi’s springboard crossbody gets two as everything breaks down. With Lacey on the floor, it’s a Backstabber to Naomi but Lacey pulls Sasha out with her. That leaves Naomi to sunset flip Bayley for the pin at 9:27.

Rating: D+. This was as WWE of a tag match as you can get, complete with the botches near the beginning. It was exactly as you knew it would go and that doesn’t make for the most thrilling stuff. Naomi pinned Bayley, but the interesting thing was a lack of mention about the Elimination Chamber match. I know Lacey mentioned it, but with nine days to go before the show, you would think it might be brought up.

New Day is fired up and have a staredown with Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode.

Classic Cena Moment: the first World Title.

Kofi Kingston vs. Robert Roode

Roode takes him into the corner to start and chops away as Cole and Graves make stupid banter about Mandy Rose. Kofi scores with his dropkick and works on the arm before elbowing Roode out to the floor. The the referee not looking, Roode kicks the steps and feigns a blow to the head, so the referee ejects Big E.

Back from a break with Roode holding a chinlock and then pounding Kofi with forearms. There’s a suplex to Kofi and Roode goes to the middle rope to mock the New Day clap. That lets Kofi avoid a knee drop and come back in with a springboard shot to the head, followed by the Boom Drop. Roode is right back with a full nelson slam for two, followed by the spinebuster for the same. Kofi grabs the SOS so Ziggler puts the foot on the rope. The distraction lets Roode roll him up for the pin at 12:27.

Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose are watching in the back with Sonya referring to Ziggler as Mandy’s man. Mandy doesn’t react.

Otis is distraught when Tucker comes up to him. Otis thinks something is up but Tucker says the reality is that sometimes Ziggler gets the girl. Tucker tells him to remember the fans and Otis says he’s right.

Classic Cena Moment: beating the Rock in the rematch.

It’s time for a contract signing for the Intercontinental Title match at Elimination Chamber. Shinsuke Nakamura, with Cesaro and Sami Zayn, come out first, followed by Braun Strowman (with a rather bad haircut). Sami tells Strowman to sit down but Strowman throws the chair up the aisle. That sends Sami into a rant about how Nakamura couldn’t enjoy his birthday last week because Strowman powerslammed him onto a grand piano.

Strowman tells Sami to shut up he doesn’t care what’s in the contract. He’ll have to fight all three of them anyway so there’s the signature. Sami likes what he just heard and makes a quick amendment to make it a handicap match, with all three signing. Therefore, it’s officially three on one at Elimination Chamber. Strowman moves the table but the numbers game gets the better of him and the beatdown is on. A double suplex/kick to the face puts Strowman through the table.

We recap the Goldberg vs. Reigns showdown.

Curtis Axel vs. Daniel Bryan

Drew Gulak is on commentary as Bryan keeps getting his friends TV appearances (and there’s nothing wrong with that). Axel starts fast as Gulak talks about seeing holes in Bryan’s game that could be exploited. With Bryan down, Axel mocks the YES pose but Bryan is back with the YES Kicks. More kicks look to set up the big one but Axel revers into a small package for two. A clothesline to the back of the head drops Bryan but it’s the LeBell Lock to make Axel tap at 4:31.

Rating: C-. I can get behind something like this. WWE has so many wrestlers who can do something in the ring but are never used. I know they’re not likely to be stars and there’s nothing wrong with that, but throw them out there, just for the sake of some fresh faces. Gulak and Axel probably aren’t going to set the world on fire but they’re under contract so why not swap them in for some of the other regular jobbers for a change?

Classic Cena Moment: the sixteenth World Title.

Here are Miz and John Morrison to brag about being the new Tag Team Champions. You know the original, but the reality is that the sequel is going to be even better. Since they won, it’s time for a singing celebration, complete with the Miz and Morrison chant plus Miz’s theme song playing as a bonus. Hold on though as we have a referee and we have a title match….at Elimination Chamber against New Day, the Usos, Heavy Machinery, Lucha House Party and Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler.

Usos vs. John Morrison/Miz

Non-title. Jimmy takes Morrison into the corner to start and we get the circle of lights breaking into the feed again. When did that become the go to way to promote someone debuting/returning? It feels like they’re everywhere these days. Miz takes over with a DDT for two so it’s off to Morrison for a kick to the ribs. The chinlock goes on with the Usos in trouble as we take a break.

Back with a double tag picking up the pace until Jey is caught with a neckbreaker/top rope double stomp combination. Everything breaks down and Jimmy dives onto Miz, only to have Jey’s Superfly Splash hit knees. Starship Pain is broken up so Jimmy hits a middle rope Canadian Destroyer, setting up the Superfly Splash to give Jey the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C+. Bad night for the champs here, though at least they can blame it on the jet lag or something. That and it really doesn’t matter given that the Elimination Chamber is coming up so soon. However, you really couldn’t do a DQ here or have the Usos beat another team? Or just not have the champs involved at all? Pretty good match though, after a series of less than inspiring ones so far.

Here’s John Cena for the big close. After taking in the crowd reaction, Cena says that he’s back so it must be Wrestlemania season. So what is he doing at Wrestlemania this year? He knows his role has changed so now it’s time to do something a little different. Cena always listens to the biggest superstar there is, which would be the fans. He knows he can probably say or do whatever he wants and have it happen at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to do the right thing.

This year’s Wrestlemania should go on without him. It’s not goodbye but it’s goodbye for now, because Cena cares about the future. Wrestlemania spots should be earned and not demanded so this year’s he’s betting on the future and sitting out. That makes tonight special because he doesn’t know when he’s going to be back. He has an announcement tonight and he wanted to make it in front of his friends and family.

The fans cheer for him and Cena drops the mic before heading to the front row to shake hands with some kids. Cena goes up the ramp and salutes….and there go the lights. They come back up and the Fiend is…..right behind him. Cena looks at the Fiend, who points at the sign. Cena looks at the sign, looks at the Fiend, and nods, as the lights go out and we get the laugh to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show picked WAY up in the second half and that’s the best thing that could have happened. The first forty five minutes or so were a complete slog with almost nothing happening and then things got a lot better in a hurry. It’s like the exhaustion was turned off and they were trying to build towards some major shows, which made things that much better. You can’t ask for much more than two big Wrestlemania matches being made in one night so well done, as the top of the card is now mostly full. Just take care of the rest of it and we’ll be fine.

Results

Naomi b. Bayley via DQ when Sasha Banks interfered

Naomi/Lacey Evans b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Sunset flip to Bayley

Robert Roode b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Curtis Axel – LeBell Lock

Usos b. Miz/John Morrison – Superfly Splash to Morrison

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 24, 2020: It’s Not That Important

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 24, 2020
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we need the final push towards Houston. The men’s Royal Rumble is probably as set as we are going to get in advance but there are only give names announced for the women’s match. It’s hard to imagine not getting some names announced tonight and that is long overdue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Usos/Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

At least they’re getting it out of the way early. The Usos elbow Ziggler down and drop more elbows for a bonus, meaning it’s already off to Roode. Everything breaks down with Roode backdropping Jimmy to the floor and Ziggler sending him hard into the steps. It’s a knee injury and that means we’re going to be having a handicap match. Back with Jey coming in and being dragged into the wrong corner.

Jey slugs away on Corbin but walks into a heck of a Deep Six for two. Roode’s neckbreaker is good for the same and Ziggler gets in his big jumping elbow. The spinning enziguri drops Roode but Corbin pulls Reigns to the floor to break up the hot tag attempt. To make it even worse, Reigns is sent into the barricade a few times and we take a second break. Back with Jey still in trouble until he sends Corbin hard into the post.

The hot tag brings in Reigns to beat up Ziggler with the raw power as everyone else is knocked to the floor. Roode offers a distraction though and Corbin breaks up the spear, allowing Ziggler to hit a superkick for two. Reigns gets sent outside for the stomping and Ziggler drops another elbow for two more. Corbin comes back in and hammers away with right hands but the Glorious DDT (you knew that’s what it was going for as Roode shouted GLORIOUS and tried a DDT) is countered with a slam.

Ziggler pulls Jey off the apron though and sends him into the barricade, just like they did to Reigns earlier. The superkick is broken up with a Superman punch and here’s Jimmy back to ringside to get the hot tag. The knee is fine enough for the fired up comeback, including a high crossbody for two on Roode with Corbin making the save. Corbin gets Superman punched and Reigns throws him into the crowd. Jey dives onto Ziggler and Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash for the pin at 25:01.

Rating: C. I’d love for WWE to explain what they see in this feud to give it twenty five minutes to open the show, especially when Corbin vs. Reigns is likely to get nearly that much time on Sunday. The feud isn’t that interesting and odds are we’ll be seeing Roode/Ziggler vs. Usos added to Sunday as well. WAY too long here and they really could have cut ten minutes out and had a better match.

Video on Bayley vs. Lacey Evans.

Here’s Lacey for a chat. She has fought back against Bayley and Sasha Banks because she doesn’t put up with bullies. Her upbringing wasn’t all that great and her father lost his battle with addiction. Lacey wants to use her platform to show that you play the hand you’re dealt and you can make it. She’s worked hard to be a mom and a Marine and we see a clip of Banks mocking Lacey’s family. It’s hard to be a mother when your daughter is scared by two bullies….and here’s Bayley to jump her from behind. Bayley: “WHERE’S YOUR DAUGHTER NOW???”

Carmella and Dana Brooke are ready to win the Royal Rumble. We pan over to Lacey throwing Bayley into things so Dana and Carmella run over in a failed attempt to break it up.

Sonya and Mandy are in the Rumble too. They seemed to make up earlier in the day. Lacey Evans and Bayley brawl to the ring and it’s a double DQ at 21 seconds.

Elias is strumming his guitar when Braun Strowman comes in to say they need to go to work.

Here’s Elias to sing his new song, Texas Dream, which is a short one about the Rumble and a way to introduce Strowman. Before we get to the match, Elias asks the fans if they want to see Strowman sing with him. They start things up but here’s the interruption for, you know, some wrestling.

Elias/Braun Strowman vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro

Sami Zayn is out with Nakamura and Cesaro. Elias gets uppercutted to start but he sends Cesaro face first into the turnbuckle to get out of trouble. A Nakamura distraction gets Elias in trouble but Strowman runs people over as we take a break. Back with Elias in trouble but Kinshasa is broken up with a jumping knee to the face.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Strowman so house can be cleaned, including the big forearm to Nakamura’s chest. Nakamura comes back with the middle rope knee to the chest and Strowman is sent shoulder first into the post. Cesaro comes in but Sami’s distraction doesn’t work. The running powerslam plants Cesaro and Elias’ top rope elbow gets the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here, almost in the vein of a house show actually. I’m a little surprised, as well as a bit relieved, that Strowman didn’t pin Nakamura again. They still haven’t announced the title match for Sunday so maybe they’ll wait a little longer before setting that up. Nakamura has held the title for a long time now and I’m curious to see how long he can keep going as champion.

We look back at Daniel Bryan challenging the Fiend to a strap match at the Rumble.

Big E. is VERY oiled up, which is his strategy to avoid being eliminated from the Royal Rumble. Kofi Kingston comes in and is ready for John Morrison tonight. They’re ready to go on to Houston for the Royal Rumble and this year it’s for Xavier Woods.

We look back at the opening match.

Corbin doesn’t like being asked questions.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

1070 total competitors

6,596 feet in height

1:16:06 Bryan lasted in 2018

56:01 Natalya lasted in 2019

1 second for Santino Marella

2003 Royal Rumble won by Brock Lesnar

7 people have won two Royal Rumbles

3 Royal Rumbles won by Steve Austin

2 others have won from #1

64,000,000 views of Royal Rumble videos since the Network launched

3 brands

2 Royal Rumbles

1 night

Note that they mentioned this being the 33rd Royal Rumble, though they now included the Greatest Royal Rumble in the record books.

Sheamus is ready for Shorty G.

Kofi Kingston vs. John Morrison

Before the match, Miz talks about how he’s the same person who lets you into his home every week on Miz and Mrs. Oh and he and Morrison are now in the Royal Rumble. They’re not exactly leaving many spots left. Morrison dodges away from Kofi to start so Kofi lands on his feet out of a monkey flip. Kofi’s monkey flip sends Morrison face first onto the mat and Morrison misses a dive over the top to crash on the floor. Kofi adds a flip dive so Miz is right over there for some applause.

Back from a break with Kofi kicking Morrison in the face and sliding through the legs, only to get kneed hard. Kofi is right back with a faceplant for two but Trouble In Paradise is kicked out of the air. The referee gets distracted for a bit so it’s a poke to the eye, setting up a middle rope Spanish Fly for a close two on Kofi. The SOS gives Kofi his own two but Big E. and Miz get into it on the floor. Kofi kicks Miz off the apron but gets knocked down, setting up Starship Pain (best one Morrison has hit in forever, and this time he jumped up instead of pulling himself up) for the pin on Kofi at 9:55.

Rating: C+. There was some good action in here and the ending should set up a Tag Team Title shot, in case they hadn’t done enough to get that ready yet. I’m not sure when they’ll do that match as the Rumble card is already loaded, but that has never stopped them before. Miz and Morrison still work well together though and that’s what matters.

It’s time for the contract signing for the strap match. Bray’s music hits but he comes up on screen instead, trying to fax in the contract from the Firefly Fun House. That might be better for everyone though because there is no reason to tie yourself to the Fiend. Bray tries to call customer service (Bray: “Yes. English or ancient Sumerian please.”) but Bryan wants him out here right now.

That isn’t happening due to Bray’s lawyer (Mercy the Buzzard) advising against it, so Bryan says he’s seeing through Bray. Bray hears Bryan mention a mistake and that is the Word of the Day. This is all about Bryan’s big mistake when he betrayed Wyatt and now it is time to pay. Since Bryan isn’t competing against Bray on Sunday, it’s only fitting that He sign the contract.

Cole bails as the lights go out and the Fiend is in the ring, holding the strap. Bryan goes after him and is Mandible Clawed in a hurry. Sister Abigail plants Bryan and Fiend rips off Bryan’s shirt for a whipping with the strap. Fiend sits down at the table and grabs the pen, which he stabs into his own hand. He rubs the blood over the contract and throws it at Bryan, which counts as signing (I don’t think evil monsters are that well versed in law). The lights go out and Fiend disappears to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty meh show overall but it did a decent enough job of setting up Sunday. If nothing else it was nice to nearly double the amount of names in the women’s Royal Rumble. The wrestling was pretty lacking but that’s not usually the point on a show like this. Sunday is all that matters anyway and no one is going to remember this one after that anyway. Not much to see this week, but it’s one of the least important shows of the year anyway.

Results

Usos/Roman Reigns b. King Corbin/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Superfly Splash to Roode

Braun Strowman/Elias b. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura – Top rope elbow

John Morrison b. Kofi Kingston – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 10, 2020: In Case It Wasn’t Boring Enough

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 10, 2020
Location: Ford Center Evansville, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and things started to pick up a lot this week on Raw. Therefore, you can probably assume the same thing here because these shows tend to follow each other. I’m sure we’ll get more from Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin now that the Usos are back, because this feud just needs to keep going. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

It’s MizTV to get things going. People have said Miz has changed since his issues with Bray Wyatt but last week was just a bad day. Sometimes people want to tell you to smile but he didn’t want to do that last week. He wants to apologize to Kofi Kingston for what he said last week but he has been going through a lot. One of the few bright spots has been the return of an old friend though, so here is the returning John Morrison as his guest.

We get a highlight package of Morrison’s time in WWE and he talks about his big comeback. He was promised new music, a new shirt, a team of pomeranians pulling him to the ring at the Royal Rumble (Morrison: “Small dogs only because there’s only one big dog around here.”), but he’s been doing some thinking. The more he thinks about last week, the more disappointed he is in the fans. Miz had one bad day and the fans say he sucks?

These people don’t know what it’s like to be in the ring but here’s New Day to interrupt. Big E. thinks Miz is such a bad actor that he couldn’t be cast as the back end of a centipede. With that image out of the way, Kofi talks about how Miz should have just said he had a bad day and it would have been so much better. Miz respects Kofi’s six month reign as WWE Champion but not the six seconds it took him to lose the title right back. Kofi says Miz is changing and he sucks….and that’s it in an abrupt ending as we need a commercial.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Morrison and big E. are on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Kofi dropkicking him into the corner before we go to a far too long look at the commentary table. Miz knees him in the ribs as Morrison asks why Kofi didn’t give Big E. a title shot during his six months as champion. Kofi elbows him in the face as Big E. explains that the team is a brotherhood and they were all World Champion at the same time. A suicide dive takes Miz out but he shoves Kofi into Big E. as we take a break.

Back with Kofi fighting out of a chinlock with Morrison and Big E. off commentary. Miz goes after the knee to cut Kofi off and hits some YES Kicks. The Skull Crushing Finale is blocked and Kofi gets two off the SOS. Miz charges into a kick to the face in the corner but kicks the knee out of the air and slaps on the Figure Four. With that broken up, Morrison dives onto Big E. and the distracted Kofi walks into the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 11:29.

Rating: C. You knew the 50/50 booking was coming as soon as this match was announced as we set up a likely Tag Team Title match at the Rumble. That’s a rather interesting match on paper and I can go for cocky Morrison as something for him to do. It’s not like this show is dying for faces as you could argue Otis is one of the top faces on the show at this point.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with Bray saying he loves everyone here. That feels special but not everyone is worthy. He means Daniel Bryan because whatever the opposite of what love is is what HE feels about Bryan. Daniel has been naughty lately and he’s in a heap of trouble at the Royal Rumble.

First, the Fiend wanted him to remember, and we get some clips of Bryan’s time in the Wyatt Family, plus his rebellion. Then he wanted to change Bryan, with clips of the haircut. Now that Bryan wants the title, HE wants to destroy Bryan. Bray: “Bye! I love you! Not you Daniel!” I’m as shocked as you are that WWE actually remembered a history between these two from so long ago but it’s rather nice to see for a change.

Here’s Elias for a song. He sings about the Royal Rumble, including about how he’ll win and how much more interesting he is than Brock, mainly because he’s actually here.

Alexa Bliss vs. Mandy Rose

Bliss and Nikki Cross are both in the Rumble. They shove each other to start and Bliss doesn’t like it, earning Rose a slap to the face. Another slap puts Rose on the floor for a baseball slide but Sonya offers a distraction. Cross breaks that up but Mandy gets in a knee to the head for two. They trade kicks to the face and a double clothesline puts them both down. Bliss is up first with Insult To Injury….and here’s Heavy Machinery with the cake. The distraction lets Rose grab a rollup for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: D. What was this supposed to be? They needed to have the freshly face Bliss lose to the distraction rollup here? Right after they announced her as one of the first names in the Rumble? This felt like one of the most standard WWE booking tropes around and it came after a match that seemed to exist to fill time until the finish. I like the Mandy and Otis stuff though, just because of the weird charisma that Otis has.

Mandy smiles at Otis.

Lacey Evans vs. Sasha Banks

Hold on though as Bayley pops up on screen to say Sasha is AWOL tonight and even a jar head like Lacey can understand that. Bayley is here tonight because she has to be so Lacey talks about how she loves to be in the heartland. She wants a title match tonight but Bayley isn’t her kid and won’t be doing what Lacey says. Lacey goes to the back and gets jumped by Bayley, who says put on her mom jeans and go home. Referees break it up.

We recap last week’s main event with the Fiend attacking Daniel Bryan.

Bryan says Fiend wants a lot and Bryan does remember the Wyatt Family. He also remembers outsmarting them and Fiend must not be happy with that. Then Fiend wants him to change so Bryan feels more dangerous. The one thing Fiend can change about him is that he can’t be broken. Ramblin Rabbit pops up on screen behind him and offers to tell Bryan the secret to defeating the Fiend but Bray grabs him and says snitches get snitches. Bryan nods a bit. I need scenes of Bryan trying to meet with Rabbit in secret to get information, preferably in wacky costumes with false identities.

Braun Strowman vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title and Nakamura has Sami Zayn and Cesaro with him. Nakamura avoids a charge in the corner to start and starts striking away but runs into a big boot. Now the running splash in the corner connects but Sami pulls Nakamura to the floor before a second can hit. A distraction lets Nakamura post Strowman and we take a break. Back with Nakamura kicking Strowman down for two and putting on the chinlock.

Another kick to the face looks to set up a middle rope shot to the head, only to have Strowman clothesline him out of the air. The forearm to the chest gets two but Nakamura hits a running dropkick. A running knee to the head connects for two more but Strowman is back with a spinebuster. Cesaro tries to bring in a chair and Nakamura tries to bring in the title but Strowman just powerslams him for the pin at 9:35.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this one and I could go for another one, even though I’m not sure I can imagine Strowman winning the title. That’s his deal: look unstoppable in the build and then get stopped when it matters most. Normally I would say he has to win this time but I’ve said it so many times that I don’t believe it myself anymore.

Post match Strowman holds up the title but Sami runs in and takes it back.

Sheamus calls Shorty G. an example of everything wrong with Smackdown since he left. Small is something to be crushed and disposed of because size does matter. Sheamus wants to embrace chaos.

Bryan finds a present in his locker room. It’s a deformed Ramblin Rabbit, who has had half of his head ripped off.

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat before the main event. He’s been dealing with King Corbin and his friends so Reigns knew he needed friends. This time he needed more though so he needed family. This is going to be his year and he’s going to win the Royal Rumble so he can move on and main event Wrestlemania for the fifth time. He’ll do it with the Usos by his side.

Cue the Usos to say they have this show on lockdown. Corbin disrespected the family with the dog food but this brings out Corbin and Ziggler to say the three of them are scared. Reigns would love to beat up Corbin twice in one night so they should fight twice at the Rumble. Corbin agrees and is now in the Rumble as well. The Usos hit big dives and the main event is next.

Usos vs. King Corbin/Dolph Ziggler

Jimmy shoulders Ziggler down to start and it’s a double elbow drop for two. Corbin comes in for a clothesline and Jimmy gets caught in the wrong corner. Some right hands in the corner stagger Corbin a bit and a jumping enziguri puts him down. Jimmy goes up but here’s the Revival to distract him, meaning Ziggler can send him into the barricade.

Cue Reigns (Why did he leave?) to beat up the Revival and we take a break. Back with Jey hitting the running hip attack in the corner but diving onto Corbin, who pulls him out of the air. Corbin sends Jey into Reigns so Jimmy superkicks Ziggler to set up the Superfly Splash. Back up and Corbin gets speared down by Reigns for the DQ at 8:55.

Rating: C. You knew someone was going to get disqualified here as the Usos may be back but we can’t have Corbin and Ziggler lose because they’re the major heels. The Usos looked like their old selves and that’s rather good as they’re still one of the best teams in the world. Just find someone more interesting for them to face.

Post match Robert Roode returns and hits the Glorious DDT on Reigns on the floor. The Usos get laid out as well and it’s a spinebuster/elbow drop to put Reigns through the table to end the show. Just in case you weren’t overwhelmed by the levels of boring in Corbin and Ziggler already, now Roode is back.

Overall Rating: D+. Not a very good show here, though again you can see where each of the stories are going and you know what they’re going for in each case. Now that doesn’t mean that they’re very good or interesting, but that’s more about the booking and the way the wrestlers are presented. Tonight we had two distraction finishes, a failed distraction finish and a DQ. That’s not much on a show that included two half hour segment/match portions. There are good parts to the show but the presentation isn’t that interesting and it’s becoming more and more of a problem.

Results

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale

Mandy Rose b. Alexa Bliss – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Running powerslam

King Corbin/Dolph Ziggler b. Usos via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 3, 2020: Many Happy Returns

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 3, 2020
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the first Smackdown of the new year and we are on the road to the Royal Rumble. That could mean a lot of things but one of them is likely to be more build towards Daniel Bryan vs. the Fiend II. I’m curious to see where things go, though King Corbin and Dolph Ziggler are in the main event to temper my interest. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bryan becoming #1 contender last week.

Miz comes up to Bryan and tells him to defeat the Fiend for everyone.

Opening sequence.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Lacey Evans/Dana Brooke vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

Banks messes with Lacey’s mind to start before bringing Nikki in instead. That means Brooke gets to come in for one off a slam and everything breaks down for a bit. Lacey is sent outside and Bliss dropkicks Banks. Bayley pulls Bliss off the ropes though and the Meteora in the corner gives Banks two. Banks chokes her a bit but everything breaks down again and they wind up on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Brooke cleaning house, including a snap suplex for two on Banks. Everything breaks down again until it’s Bayley stomping on Brooke some more. Brooke fights out of the corner so Banks knees her in the face to set up Bayley’s belly to back suplex for two. An enziguri finally gets Brooke out of trouble and it’s back to Lacey for the standing moonsault on Bayley.

The slingshot Bronco Buster looks to set up the springboard moonsault but Banks pulls Bayley away. That’s only good for two as everyone makes the save so Lacey has to slip out of a double powerbomb. The Woman’s Right hits Banks and Dana adds the Swanton (with a thud) for the pin at 13:17.

Rating: D+. This was a near mess with the match just going and going until someone got the fall. The match didn’t have much of a flow or structure to it and Dana getting the win was rather surprising. In theory this gives Dana and Lacey a Tag Team Title shot but Lacey seems in line to face Bayley so it could be some combination of both.

We recap Dolph Ziggler crushing Otis’ fruitcake.

Mandy Rose comes up to Otis, who didn’t see the fruitcake get destroyed. His mama did though and she’s not happy. Tucker comes up to say they have a match so the two of them leave, with Mandy actually looking sad.

Miz runs into New Day but isn’t in the mood to celebrate the new year. Big E.: “I watched the balls drop.” Kofi: “There’s only one ball. What were you watching?” Big E: “I don’t know!” Kofi tries to make Miz feel better by saying Miz won the most titles in the 2010s, though Big E. points out that Miz was tied with Kofi himself. That’s not enough for Miz, because Fiend violated his family’s home. The pancakes are turned over and a match seems to be made for later.

Here’s Elias for a song. This one is about how many things need to change in 2020, like Shane McMahon going to Raw and Revival being harder to watch than Dolph Ziggler’s comedy act. He also implies that he’ll be in the Royal Rumble.

We look at Revival getting beaten up in the Miracle on 34th Street Fight.

Revival doesn’t like being made to look like bad jokes. They want respect in the new year but here’s Chad Gable to say embrace who you are. Revival makes fun of Gable for being short, but Gable says they don’t bother him anymore. His new motto is Rise Over Size (egads) and the result is Dash vs. Gable tonight.

Shorty G. vs. Dash Wilder

Scott Dawson is on commentary for more short jokes as Wilder gets two off a suplex. Gable is back with a high crossbody for two before grabbing the ankle lock. That’s reversed into a rollup for two, with Cole calling Gable inspirational. Dawson: “He’s inspirational because he’s short???” Another ankle lock makes Wilder tap at 2:52.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Kofi sweeps the leg and hits a quick splash for two, setting up the monkey flip to frustrate Miz even more. A back elbow to the jaw drops Miz again and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Miz kicks away at the ribs in the corner, setting up a running knee for a bonus. Miz charges into a kick to the head though and Kofi adds a top rope chop to the head. Miz’s reverse DDT is blocked but so is the SOS. The Skull Crushing Finale doesn’t work either and Kofi rolls him up for the pin at 3:54.

Rating: C-. These two are always good for a passable enough match and it seems Miz is a heel all over again. To be fair that fits him better, as it’s pretty hard to cheer for him when he failed against Wyatt at the pay per view. Just let him be a heel again because neither face run has worked for the most part.

Post match Miz jumps Kofi to end the face experiment again. Miz shouts that he’s given the fans everything.

Daniel Bryan says he’s winning the title at the Rumble, so Roman Reigns enters the Rumble. That would make Bryan vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania so Bryan says bring it on. They’re ready for their tag match tonight.

Post break Cathy Kelly knocks on Miz’s door but John Morrison answers, saying Miz has nothing left to say tonight.

Otis vs. Drew Gulak

Before the match, Gulak says that he is an expert in matters of the heart, which means he knows Mandy would never date Otis. We have a POWER POINT PRESENTATION but Otis jumps him to start in a hurry. A suplex sends Gulak flying and another drops him in a hurry. There’s a gorilla press but hang on as Dolph Ziggler is hitting on Mandy in the back. Otis throws Gulak down and hits the Caterpillar, setting up a Vader Bomb for the pin at 2:27.

Braun Strowman vs. Cesaro

Cesaro has Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura with him. They do the power lockup to start with Cesaro getting launched into the corner. Strowman cleans house and chases the other two off of the apron as we take a break. Back with Cesaro diving into a choke but reversing into a quick sleeper.

That’s broken up in a hurry so Cesaro hits a running uppercut in the corner. Another misses though and Strowman heads to the floor for the train of shoulders. Sami comes in for a distraction so Cesaro can send Braun into the post. The Neuralizer is countered into the running powerslam to finish Cesaro at 8:12.

Rating: D+. Just a match here with the break eating up a good chunk of it. Strowman is pretty obviously getting the Intercontinental Title shot at the Rumble and he might as well win the thing. It’s not like it matters who wins it at this point so trading it to someone more popular might be an improvement over what we have at the moment.

Post match Nakamura hits Strowman with Kinshasa so the trio can leave.

We recap Roman Reigns attacking King Corbin last week.

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan vs. King Corbin/Dolph Ziggler

Corbin jumps Reigns at the bell and gets punched in the face for his efforts. It’s off to Ziggler, whose neckbreaker is easily broken up so Reigns can hit a big boot. Bryan comes in and kicks away….but we have the Fiend laughing and lights flickering. Back from a break with Reigns kicking Corbin in the face but running into Deep Six for two. Corbin sends him into the steps and Ziggler begs Reigns to do something.

The Superman Punch finally gets Reigns out of trouble and it’s back to Bryan to pick up the pace. Bryan elbows Ziggler down and hits the YES Kicks, only to miss the big one. Ziggler’s rollup is reversed into the LeBell Lock with Corbin making the save. Reigns spears Corbin and Bryan knees Ziggler….as the lights go out. The Fiend is here so Bryan hits him with a suicide dive.

Fiend gets posted but is right back with the Mandible Claw to send Bryan through the barricade. The Claw goes on again and there go the lights, meaning the Fiend is gone. Ziggler and Corbin jump Reigns as he goes to check on Bryan, meaning it’s time for the handcuffs and dog food. Cue the returning Usos for the save though, which is pretty long overdue. We’ll say the match ended at about 10:00.

Rating: C-. This was all just a means to get to the end of the match and that’s fine as it didn’t exactly overstay its welcome. That being said, this didn’t help hide the fact that Ziggler and Corbin aren’t exactly as interesting as a lot of the other people on the show, including the three other people involved in the match. Not a bad match or anything, but a means to an end more than anything on its own.

Overall Rating: C. While the wrestling wasn’t great, this show felt like it had stuff happening. There were four returns (only one of which we knew was coming) and you can see where the stories are going. Compare that to Raw where it feels like the stories either have no direction or are having twists thrown into them to keep things going. This may not be the most thrilling show, but it’s a structured show and doesn’t leave you wondering what you just watched. Unfortunately it doesn’t leave you overly entertained, but I’ll take that over Raw almost every day.

Results

Lacey Evans/Dana Brooke b. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross and Sasha Banks/Bayley – Swanton to Banks

Shorty G. b. Dash Wilder – Ankle lock

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Rollup

Otis b. Drew Gulak – Vader Bomb

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Dolph Ziggler/King Corbin via DQ when the Fiend interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009 (2012 Redo): You Know I’ll Love This One

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Batista liked hurting Rey.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: Kofi Kingston Needs A Care Bear Stare

You either have the theme song playing in your head or have no idea what I’m talking about.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-kofi-kingston-needs-care-bear-stare/




Main Event – October 10, 2019: How It Was Meant To Be

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: October 10, 2019
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Mickie James, Byron Saxton, Dio Maddin

In a weird way, this is going to be both a return to normal and the brand new normal at the same time. That means Smackdown is going to be included here again, though this time around Smackdown came first during the week and that is going to be the case going forward. I doubt that is going to change much about the shot itself though. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Non-title and this is what the champions have been reduced to: a Wrestlemania rematch on Main Event (which is thankfully mentioned). Hawkins shoulders Wilder down for two so Ryder comes in and takes a shoulder of his own. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Dawson goes with the simple choking on the ropes. Ryder gets in a jawbreaker and the hot tag brings in Hawkins to clean house. The Michinoku Driver gets two and a small package is good for the same but it’s the Shatter Machine to finish Hawkins at 5:29.

Rating: C. These harder worked matches have become more of a trend around here and that’s not a bad thing. You wouldn’t expect this match to be anything and while it was far from great, they were working and actually tried to put something together. Can you blame the Revival for not being interested in staying though? This is the best the champs can get?

We look at the biggest moments from the Smackdown premiere.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Rey Mysterio and Dominick.

From Smackdown.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. The F5 makes Brock champion in six seconds.

Post match here are Rey Mysterio and CAIN VELASQUEZ as Brock looks like he’s seen a ghost. Cain takes him down with a double leg and the scared Brock bails in a hurry. Brock teases coming back to the ring but backs off and walks away as we’re off the air at 9:58.

From Raw.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Lana and Bobby Lashley, for lack of a better term, canoodling on the stage right in front of Rusev. This is interspersed with clips of Rusev and Lana’s wedding and marriage.

Rusev vs. Randy Orton

Hang on a second as we come straight out of the opening sequence to Orton and Baron Corbin stomping on Rusev. He fights back but Lashley pops up on screen in a robe. That would be Rusev’s robe, because Lashley is in Rusev’s house. Actually he’s in Rusev’s bedroom, which includes a rather comfortable bed.

There is only one thing missing, which would be Lana herself. She comes in and climbs in next to Lashley, while mentioning that everything they own is now in her name, plus they no longer have separate checking accounts. Lana removes some of the little clothing she still has on and the lights go out with more laughter.

We come back to the arena where Rusev is taking this as expected and Orton and Corbin laugh on the floor. Rusev snaps and beats both of them up, including various shots to Corbin with the steps. A jumping superkicks each knocks both of them into the crowd. No match of course.

We look at the Cell matches and Charlotte vs. Bayley from Hell In A Cell.

Cesaro vs. Cedric Alexander

Cesaro headlocks him to start and Cedric can’t do much with the power. His own headlock works just as well though, suggesting that power has nothing to do with it. Cesaro isn’t about to give him a clean break on the ropes so Cedric hits a basement dropkick. Some chops just annoy Cesaro so he stomps Cedric down and forearms him in the head.

We take a quick break and come back with Cesaro slapping on an abdominal stretch, which he can make look rather devastating. It’s off to an arm trap chinlock instead but Alexander fights up and hits the springboard Downward Spiral. Cesaro’s big boot gets two and he grabs an over the shoulder body vice, only to have Alexander slip out again. The Lumbar Check gives Alexander the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C+. These two work well together though it isn’t like either of them are going anywhere anytime soon. That’s one of the biggest problems for WWE at the moment: they have so many names on the roster but a good number of them don’t get to do anything due to having wrestlers appearing on both shows and taking up so much time. This kind of a match doesn’t do anything for either of them and it’s just depressing at this point.

Quick talk about the Draft.

From Raw to end the show.

Jerry Lawler brings Fury to the ring for a chat. He didn’t like Strowman making him look like a fool last week and he is here to demand an apology. Cue Strowman to say he was just giving Fury a present last week and then he told security to let Fury go. If Fury wants to get in Strowman’s ring, he’ll eat him for lunch.

Fury says he would have knocked Strowman out but Strowman says he would do the same. How man titles has Strowman won? They go into the corner and here’s security to break it up in a hurry. That doesn’t last long though and the fight is on again but here is the locker room for the save. They keep breaking it up and the fight starts up over and over again.

In the back, Strowman says Fury is tough but there will be no apology. Strowman comes charging back out and the brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The whole point of this show is to recap the bigger details of the week and they covered a lot of that with the highlight package from Smackdown. There is a lot to cover in a week in WWE and this one managed to do it well enough while also giving us a pair of completely watchable matches. It still doesn’t need to exist, but it’s nice when they do it well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – October 4, 2019: Try It Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 4, 2019
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

Well here we go. It’s time for the biggest opportunity WWE has had in a generation, if not ever, as they debut their weekly television series on a major broadcast network. They aren’t scaling back on anything either, with every major name you could ask for and a slate of huge matches to boot. Tonight is all going to be about the presentation and that could go various ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince and Stephanie McMahon come through the rather cool looking new set (it looked like a tunnel of parentheses for lack of a better term) and welcome us to the show.

Opening sequence, which looks awesome as it makes the wrestlers look larger than life.

Here’s Becky Lynch to open things up. She talks about changing the game and how she wants to beat someone up right now. Cue King Corbin of all people to say Becky is no longer the man. A threat is made and here’s the Rock to interrupt. After some soaking in of the cheers, Rock calls Corbin a crackhead looking Burger King knockoff. That sets up FINALLY, but Corbin tells them both to know their roles and shut their mouths. Rock: “Beck do you mind if I take this one?”

Lita, Trish Stratus and Maria Menunos are in the front row.

Becky Lynch/Charlotte vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Banks sends Charlotte hard into the corner to start so Charlotte chops right back. Charlotte gets knocked off the apron though and we take an early break. Back with Becky coming in off the hot tag to kick Bayley in the corner. The Bexploder into the middle rope legdrop gets two and it’s back to Charlotte for Natural Selection for two more.

Banks makes the save and it’s the big showdown with Becky as they slug it out. That’s broken up by Bayley and everything breaks down in a double brawl. A missile dropkick puts Banks down and Charlotte moonsaults onto both of them. Back in and the Figure Eight makes Bayley tap at 8:18.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as their previous match but they didn’t have the time to make it that big. What mattered here was getting Becky on the big stage in a match this important before the showdown with Sasha on Sunday. It was energetic while it lasted and no one botched anything horrible so….well done?

FOX Sports reporter Erin Andrews interviews the New Day, including asking Kofi Kingston about challenging for the WWE Championship (the title that she is literally one foot away from as it hangs over Kofi’s shoulder). Kofi talks about climbing mountains, but Xavier and Big E. aren’t going to be there because Kofi has requested to do it himself.

World boxing champion Tyson Fury is here.

So are Mick Foley and Kurt Angle.

Seth Rollins comes out for his match but it’s Firefly Fun House time. Bray Wyatt shouts a welcome to the Fun House and introduces his friends. Ramblin Rabbit is in a Seth Rollins shirt and has a Rollins beard painted on. He wants to be just like Seth when he grows up so DO NOT GET IN THE CELL WITH THE FIEND. Bray interrupts and starts speaking in an accent, because setting up his own Cell match between Ramblin Rabbit and Mercy the Buzzard. Biting ensues and stuffing flies as Rabbit’s head comes off. Bray says history will repeat itself. See you in h***!

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title. We come back from a break to see Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Rock’s mom in the crowd as the bell rings. That was a rather quick cameo and Nakamura takes the attention off of them even more as he tries an early cross armbreaker. That’s broken up and Rollins kicks him down….and there go the lights for a no contest at we’ll say 1:30. Rollins runs to the stage and there’s the Fiend for the Claw, because no one in this company knows how to look over their shoulder. The Fiend throws him off the stage.

Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon

Ladder match and loser leaves WWE. Owens cuts him off in the aisle and sends him face first into a ladder to start. The ladder is bridged between the ring and the barricade but Shane is fine enough to cut off an early climb attempt. Owens throws the ladder at him but it goes flying over the top, allowing Owens to hit a clothesline. The ladder is dropkicked into Owens’ face and Shane loads up the announcers’ table. That means the top rope elbow actually connects and we take a break.

Back with Owens frog splashing Shane through the bridged ladder as they missed quite a transition during the commercial. The crowd seems to be muted for a second for what may have been a HOLY S*** chant. Owens climbs the ladder but Shane chairs him down and hits Coast to Coast into the ladder. Shane goes up but Owens powerbombs him onto another bridged ladder. That’s enough to pull down the briefcase and get rid of Shane at 11:58.

Rating: C. That’s one of the weakest ladder matches that I can remember in a long time as it was just one spot after another with almost no selling and no emotion to the whole thing. They didn’t do a good job of making me want to see Shane gone and it felt like a story where we missed most of what led up to it. The spots were good but there was no building to them, especially with just a commercial between the elbow and the frog splash. I’m assuming it was Shane’s limitations, but this was rather lifeless and led to an obvious ending which didn’t have any emotional impact.

Post match Owens gets to tell Shane that he is fired.

We get a montage of Smackdown highlights over the years.

Paul Heyman shows us a clip of Brock Lesnar destroying Rey Mysterio and Mysterio’s son Dominick. Heyman says Mysterio was in Lesnar’s way, just like Kofi Kingston is tonight. Here’s a spoiler: tonight, Lesnar is WWE Champion again.

Braun Strowman/Heavy Machinery/Miz vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler/AJ Styles/Randy Orton

Ziggler hits a quick Zig Zag on Miz to start but takes too long posing, allowing Miz to grab the DDT. It’s off to Strowman to clean house but the RKO hits Miz. Otis runs Orton over but walks into the Phenomenal Forearm. Tucker Cactus Clotheslines AJ to the floor and it’s time for Strowman’s shoulder block train. Strowman stops to pose with Tyson Fury, but Ziggler jumps on Braun, meaning it’s time to get knocked into Fury. Back in and the powerslam ends Ziggler at 3:10.

Rating: D. What the heck was that??? It was like a drive by eight man tag with a celebrity angle in the middle. It came, it went, it might as well have been an in-ring interview gone awry. At least there was a thing with Fury, though I can’t imagine that actually gets to go anywhere for a long time. This felt very random, but at least it came and went quickly while getting some people on the show.

Post match Fury jumps the barricade but security holds him back from Strowman.

In honor of the new movie Gemini Man, we get a look at some WWE youth vs. experience matches (such as Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. HHH and young Mark Henry vs. old Mark Henry).

We look at Fury jumping the barricade again.

Earlier today, R-Truth and Carmella were in the back with a DJ named Marshmello winning the 24/7 Title from Carmella. She would win it back later in the night.

Roman Reigns vs. Erick Rowan

Lumberjack match with Daniel Bryan on commentary. It’s a fight to start with Roman being sent outside, only to get tossed back in. Rowan gets the same treatment, though Rowan beats them up to stay on the floor. Roman goes out after him and it’s back inside for a big boot from Rowan as we take a break. Back with Roman fighting out of Rowan’s fist vice around the head.

The Superman Punch connects and everyone is down but here’s Luke Harper. Bryan gets up as Harper beats up the lumberjacks but Bryan is on him as the big brawl breaks out. Roman hits the big dive over the top to drop everyone, leaving Rowan to throw Ali at Roman to take him down. Back in and Rowan hits a crossbody for two but the Iron Claw is broken up. Reigns Superman Punches Rowan but Harper comes in to drop Reigns. Bryan knees Harper and the spear finishes Rowan at 8:54.

Rating: C+. It was an entertaining brawl and I want to see the tag match on Sunday, though I have almost no idea where the story is going after that match. Bryan seems to be a face again and unless there is a heck of a twist coming, I’m not sure how many more directions they can take with the whole thing.

We look at the Rock and Becky beating up Corbin.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. The F5 makes Brock champion in six seconds.

Post match here are Rey Mysterio and CAIN VELASQUEZ as Brock looks like he’s seen a ghost. Cain takes him down with a double leg and the scared Brock bails in a hurry. Brock teases coming back to the ring but backs off and walks away as we’re off the air at 9:58.

Overall Rating: D+. And really, that’s being pretty generous. This show felt like a mess as everything was being crammed together to try and get everything they could in. The opening segment was the longest part of the night and it went on way longer than it needed to. The show should settle down a bit next week and the big angle at the end worked really well, but egads this show was crammed full of stuff and a lot of it really didn’t work. It wasn’t a terrible show but this needed a third hour or to be spread over two weeks. Hopefully next week is better because they stumbled coming out of the gate.

Results

Becky Lynch/Charlotte b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Figure Eight to Bayley

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura went to a no contest when the Fiend interfered

Kevin Owens b. Shane McMahon – Owens pulled down the briefcase

Braun Strowman/Heavy Machinery/Miz b. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler/AJ Styles/Randy Orton – Powerslam to Ziggler

Roman Reigns b. Erick Rowan – Spear

Brock Lesnar b. Kofi Kingston – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6