IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 7, 2004
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and there isn’t much to say. Undertaker is now dealing with Heidenreich, JBL retained the title and John Cena got the US Title back. The next major show is Survivor Series and at least we aren’t likely to hear the wrestlers burying the show before we get there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Last Ride match with (stop me if you’ve heard this before) JBL taking a horrible beating and surviving as champion.

Opening sequence.

Here’s hometown boy John Cena to open things up because the champ is home. After bragging about how the Red Sox and Patriots are winning (like that’s going to last), Cena actually gives some respect to Booker and the fans aren’t sure about that one. Cena: “Ok now back to making fun of people.” That brings him to Cole, who is ugly, sucks, and talks very slowly. We’re doing something different tonight so he’s going to have a fan come in here and insult Cole with him.

Cue the debuting Carlito Caribbean Cool to say that US Title is cool. The Red Sox jersey isn’t though because those guys never win and that makes Cena a punk. He loads up the apple but Cena makes baseball jokes (fair enough in this town) and threatens to make Carlito swallow instead of spit. Carlito laughs it off and says Cena took five matches to win the US Title but he can do it in one. The challenge is sent out but Carlito wants to do it later tonight so he doesn’t mess up his clothes. Cena extends a hand but gets caught with a DDT, plus some apple spit. This was a bit rushed, though I’ve never been a Carlito fan.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Rob Van Dam is here with Rey. Mysterio’s music cuts off Rene Dupree’s entrance and likely singing. Rey speeds things up to start and kicks the leg but gets kicked in his face to slow things back down. A chop to a seated Mysterio sets up an armbar, which doesn’t last long because it’s just an armbar. Back up and Suzuki grabs a double underhook shoulder breaker but Rey shrugs it off and hits a seated senton. A springboard corkscrew splash gets two and Rene’s distraction earns himself the 619. Another one hits Kenzo and the claw legsweep (still an awful move) is easily countered into a rollup to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C-. It looks like Mysterio and Van Dam are next in line for another title shot and that’s perfectly fine. The tag division is barely a thing at the moment so having the two of them put together into a makeshift team is as good an idea as anything else. Whoever gets the title off of Kenzo is fine with me as he’s somehow getting even less interesting as time goes on.

WWE received an award from Make-A-Wish.

JBL brags about retaining the title and says he didn’t know Heidenreich would be there to help him. He’s still the WWE Champion and doesn’t like the idea of having to face Hardcore Holly again. The fans love him though and they can start those JBL chants right now.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Holly wastes no time in going after JBL’s bandaged head and pounds away with right hands. You can’t fault his logic. The gut is busted open in a hurry and Holly has no problem kicking him in the head with the blood getting on his boot. JBL manages a fall away slam to send Holly outside where he goes head first into the announcers’ table.

Holly sends him into the steps and the blood is flowing very well, including as a suplex gets two on JBL. Cue Orlando Jordan, who is totally fine after last week’s crucifixion. Holly’s dropkick gets two and a top rope elbow gets the same. The Alabama Slam looks to finish but a Jordan distraction lets JBL get outside. Jordan grabs the leg again and JBL takes the countout.

Rating: C. Another not too bad match from these two though they’re really not doing themselves any favors with JBL. I know he’s not the greatest champion in the world, but having him mostly get beaten up by career jobber to the stars Hardcore Holly is making JBL even harder to take seriously. At least WWE isn’t treating Holly as a threat to the title again though, as I’m still not entirely over that.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. is coming back in two weeks. That’s not the biggest deal in the world but given the injury, it’s a nice little story.

Theodore Long tells Paul Heyman that Heidenreich stepped over the line and nothing like that is happening again here. It took the jaws of life to get Undertaker out of the hearse but the Undertaker was gone. Since laws don’t exist in WWE unless the script calls for them, Long isn’t punishing Heidenreich because Undertaker will deal with it himself. Heyman stammers that it doesn’t matter to Heidenreich, who will recite poetry tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kurt Angle explains that he was sick at No Mercy and had to face Big Show anyway. He’s ready to take on Big Show tonight but his doctors won’t let him. Mark Jindrak can do it instead and Angle will be at ringside.

Next week: JBL vs. Holly in a hardcore match for the title.

Mark Jindrak vs. Big Show

Luther Reigns is at ringside and Angle is on commentary but he stares straight at Show without saying a word. Show throws Jindrak over the top to start and then stands on his chest in the corner (without grabbing the rope) as the beating is on in a hurry. The beating bores Show, who goes outside to yell at Angle (still hasn’t said anything) but gets dropkicked off the apron.

There’s a whip into the steps for two back inside and it’s time to start on Show’s arm. It’s kind of hard to whip a giant into the post though and Show sends him to the floor with one arm. Luther Reigns tries to get in but Eddie Guerrero comes down to cut him off. Angle’s interference fails and Show chokeslams Jindrak for the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s not likely to last long but at least Show is getting to look good for the time being. He’s seemed more focused and aggressive of late and that’s working for him. Jindrak has a lot of the tools to get over, though being a lackey isn’t the best way to go about it. Then again he never had much of a spark so you can only expect so much from him.

Carlito says he didn’t disrespect Cena because it was the other way around. He commands respect and tonight, everyone will learn the definition of cool when he becomes the US Champion. Carlito’s graphic comes up, which you don’t see very often after a promo.

We look back at Billy Kidman injuring Paul London at No Mercy and blaming the fans.

Billy Kidman vs. Charlie Haas

Jackie Gayda is in Haas’ corner. Charlie works on the arm to start, including an armdrag into a rollup for two. A hotshot cuts Haas off and let’s talk about the Undertaker out of nowhere. The chinlock stays on the general throat area until Haas fights up with a t-bone suplex. A spinning top rope crossbody gets two but Haas charges into raised boots in the corner.

The shooting star press is loaded up but Jackie climbs onto Charlie to protect him. Kidman kicks Haas to the floor and BK Bombs Jackie before heading up again. There’s no shooting star though as Kidman says he doesn’t think so and climbs down as Rico comes in to take care of Jackie. No contest.

Rating: D+. I’m liking this Kidman story more and more every week, though I’m expecting it to come to an end with Chavo beating him. He’s doing some interesting stuff as you don’t often get into the mental side of a wrestler and it’s an interesting place to go. They’ve gone somewhere and while I get that it’s going to end, it’s kind of a shame as Kidman has gotten a nice rub from this.

Jordan bumps into Booker T. and asks to hear the SUCKA. Booker doesn’t want anything to do with him because Jordan is just an errand boy. And I guess Booker is just a face again, even though there are already as many if not more top faces than top heels.

Another look back at the Last Ride match and the end of No Mercy.

We see some more potential Tough Enough finalists, including Marty Wright (Boogeyman).

Here’s Heidenreich for poetry time with Heyman handling the introduction while also panicking over Undertaker not being in the hearse. Heidenreich says no one, including Undertaker, better interrupt him as he recites his masterpiece. Therefore the fans boo him and keep cutting him off because they don’t understand that they’re just extending their own agony. Heidenreich actually goes into the crowd and beats up some fans, all of whom happen to have some good camera presence.

US Title: Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and Carlito runs scared to start. You can only run so far though as Cena blasts him with a clothesline and whips him into the steps for a bonus. Another whip into the corner has Cena looking confident, which is never a good sign. A delayed vertical suplex, complete with squats, has Carlito in even more trouble. Cena shows off again with a one armed side slam.

It’s kind of strange to see Cena being this cocky but it’s making him look like a bigger star. Carlito gets whipped into the steps but manages to low bridge Cena to the floor. Cena is fine enough to catapult him into the crowd and the posing in the ring takes us to a break. Back with Carlito ducking a crossbody and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for two. A slingshot elbow gets the same and we hit the chinlock.

Cena powers out with a backdrop and the comeback is on with the usual. The Shuffle gets two and Cena throws him outside but the referee won’t let Cena follow. That means Carlito can pick up the title, which Cena takes away. The referee takes it next, allowing Carlito to use the chain on Cena for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was a weird one with Cena dominating for the most part until Carlito got in the cheating shot to win the title. It’s certainly a strong way to debut someone and makes Carlito look like a pesky thief that deserves a beating, though it doesn’t help the fact that it’s still Carlito and he still looks like he’s a seventeen year old with a bad static electricity shock.

Carlito steals the chain to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Maybe it’s the comparison to Raw, but this is the kind of show that makes it clear how much better Smackdown is at the moment. There was a point to almost everything on the show and they set things up throughout the night. On top of that, it doesn’t feel nearly as repetitive and there were no insults from the wrestlers about the upcoming pay per view. Raw is becoming harder and harder to watch while this show is enjoyable, despite having nowhere near as top level stars. I don’t know if it’s going to keep lasting this way, but it’s nice at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 30, 2004
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and the big story coming out of last week’s show was the return of Mark Jindrak of all people, who seems to have joined forces with Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns to form a rather odd trio. They got together and shaved Big Show’s head, which can’t possibly go well. Other than that we’re in for more JBL vs. Undertaker, which isn’t the most thrilling stuff in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Big Boss Man.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle to get things going. Back in 1996, he promised to win a Gold Medal with a broken neck. In 2000, he promised to win the WWE Championship in his rookie year. Then last week he promised to deliver a Smackdown moment like there never has been before. He delivered on that as well and of course we get the highlight package, including Jindrak making the save.

Today, Angle would have taken the pin and then done the haircut, so there were a few things they did better back in 2004. Back in the arena, Angle talks about Show injuring him in April and now last week it was time for retribution. Angle brags about humiliating Show last week but knows the people here won’t appreciate his greatness.

There are two people that will though, so here are Jindrak and Luther Reigns, who have bags of Show’s hair. Before anything can be said, here’s Theodore Long, who thinks the score between Show and Angle is even. Therefore, Jindrak and Reigns are barred from ringside at No Mercy and if anyone interferes, they’re fired. It’s going to be the Gold Medal Tyrant vs. the Big Bald Giant.

Dudley Boyz vs. Rico/Charlie Haas

Rico tries running the ropes, stops and realizes that he’s not running to the right one, and then goes to the right one so Bubba can pull him down by the hair. Charlie gets knocked to the floor and the girls get in an argument over who gets to check on him, leaving Bubba to stomp on Rico. A chinlock is broken up and it’s back to Charlie for the right hands and suplexes. Charlie goes up for a spinning high crossbody, even though D-Von isn’t really and Charlie lands on a kneeling D-Von’s back. After some obvious apologizing on Charlie’s part, the girls get in a fight on the floor, leaving the 3D to finish Charlie.

Rating: D. They certainly started that angle up fast and while it’s the kind of soap opera stuff that WWE loves to run, Dawn isn’t the most interesting person in the world to listen to. I’ll give them credit for trying to do something with the people they have though, which is often a problem for all the people on the roster. Not a good match, but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Josh Matthews is very excited for John Cena’s rap about Booker T. but Cena shoves him away in a Rock/Coach impression. Cena says Booker is the five time but he’s the one time, which Booker stole and put around his own waist. At No Mercy, Cena is taking it back. This was the serious style promo with no rapping or rhyming, which was a nice change of pace from Cena and a flash of what he had in him.

A freaked out Paul Heyman is in the aisle, screaming for Heidenreich to get off the Smackdown fist. Are we about to see a suicide? Well let’s come back from a break first. Back with Heidenreich reading a poem about how he wants people to listen to him. He’s upset so he’ll destroy the world soon.

Undertaker is standing next to a hearse and promises to make No Mercy his last ride.

Booker T. vs. Paul London

Non-title and London comes in with a broken nose. Booker elbows him down to start so London is right back up with a dropkick for a quick near fall. Billy Kidman comes out to watch as Booker stomps in the corner. Another kick to the face gets London out of trouble but a look at Kidman delays the 450 long enough for Booker to roll away. The ax kick finishes London in a hurry.

Post match Booker grabs a chair but Kidman takes it away. I think you know what’s coming next and it leaves London laying so Kidman can shout that London doesn’t understand.

Carlito is here next week.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title and there’s no Orlando Jordan to be seen. Holly shoulders him into the corner for some chops to start but a thumb to the eye gets the champ out of trouble. A running clothesline puts him back in it though, as well as out on the floor. JBL whips him into the steps but takes too long coming back in, allowing Holly to powerslam him out of the air for two.

The big boot gives JBL two of his own and he takes Holly up top. A superplex attempt is countered and Holly hits a top rope clothesline for two more. JBL kicks him down and tries a powerbomb, which is countered into an Alabama Slam as we take an abrupt break. Back with Holly busted open (steps to the head during the break) and the referee telling JBL to back off. A boot to the face against the ropes is enough to get JBL disqualified.

Rating: C. I think we can safely call this one a minor miracle as they were having a pretty rocking little match before the abrupt ending and the lame ending. I like the ending showing JBL’s aggressive side, but if I’m supposed to buy him as being serious enough to hang with Undertaker, he shouldn’t be going toe to toe with Hardcore Holly.

Post match JBL chairs Holly in the head (loud shot) and hits the Clothesline From JBL. After mocking and calling Undertaker out for a bit, the gong strikes and Undertaker appears on screen. He says it started with four and then he got rid of Mideon and Viscera. Then it was three because he got Orlando, who is tied to an Undertaker symbol in the rafters. On Sunday, JBL takes his last ride. That is the most glossed over crucifixion in WWE history.

Nunzio vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title and we have Johnny Stamboli and the Dudleys at ringside. Spike climbs over the rope to escape a headlock so Nunzio lets go, dropping Spike down on his face. That’s a more clever move than I was expecting here. An anklescissors into a rollup gives Nunzio two and Bubba is nervous enough to be on the apron.

The distraction lets Spike take him down and grab a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on as Tazz and Cole exchange fat jokes. Nunzio fights up and gets a belly to back suplex for the break. The Sicilian Slice connects but the referee has to deal with D-Von and Johnny fighting on the floor. Bubba trips Nunzio so Spike can cover, only to be reversed into a rollup for the upset pin.

Rating: D+. The chinlock took away a lot of the life this had, though I’m more curious about why the Italians are being pushed as faces. They’re not great heels or anything but it doesn’t exactly feel right. Then again, it helps to have someone fresh go after Spike, whose time as champion is long past ready to end.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show, in the shadows, talks about being helpless for the first time in his life. He’s keep his head bald to remind himself of those feelings before he gets his hands on Angle. The lights come on over Show’s eyes as he promises no mercy on Sunday.

Here’s a look at some of the contestants for Tough Enough, including Daniel Rodmier, Drew Henkinson (Luke Gallows) and Bryan Kelly (Byron Saxton).

Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam vs. Luther Reigns/Mark Jindrak

Van Dam is a surprise mystery partner. The fight is on in a hurry and Rob dives over the top onto Jindrak. We officially start with Van Dam kicking Reigns in the face and hitting a very early Five Star for two with Jindrak having to make a save. Back from a break with Van Dam crossbodying Jindrak for two and bringing in Eddie off a clothesline. Rolling Thunder connects to give Eddie two and a backdrop from Jindrak doesn’t have much effect.

Eddie knocks him down again and does the spinning boot over the eyes to keep Jindrak in trouble. A Reigns distraction lets Jindrak put on a chinlock but Eddie dances his way up. It’s back to Van Dam, who gets low bridged to the floor to put the good guys in trouble for the first time. The bearhug goes on back inside for a few seconds, followed by a heck of a whipping spinebuster for two. With the power having run its course, Reigns punches away and even draws Eddie in with an elbow to the jaw.

Van Dam gets caught in the chinlock for all of a few seconds before he gets up and goes to the middle rope. That means the springboard kick to the face but Van Dam slips and even a camera cut can’t hide the fact that his kick missed by about a foot. Reigns sells it anyway of course and Rob hits a very fast spinning legdrop to at least keep him down.

It’s back to Eddie for a headscissors on Jindrak and a springboard wristdrag to Reigns with another headscissors to Jindrak at the same time. Eddie isn’t done with Jindrak as he hits Three Amigos to set up the frog splash. Reigns makes a save and Rolls the Dice (much closer to a reverse DDT with Eddie almost landing on the side of his head) to give Jindrak the pin.

Rating: D-. This was really sloppy at times and there were points where it felt like they were in different books. It takes a lot to make Eddie look lost out there but they were getting close out there at a few different times. Reigns isn’t very good at the actual wrestling stuff and messing up his already bad finisher while also selling a kick that didn’t hit him made it even worse. Really bad match here, though they were at least trying.

A No Mercy music video, including what appears to be Rey Mysterio/Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki for the Tag Team Titles being announced.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling here didn’t work all that well (Hardcore Holly and JBL having the match of the night?) but I’m somewhat more interested in seeing the pay per view than I was before. The music video at the end worked for a change of pace and I like it better than having Cole and Tazz sit there and talk about things. Some of the stuff really didn’t work here (the main event and Heidenreich spring to mind) but Sunday is looking better, even if it’s not something I want to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2004
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on No Mercy and that means it’s time to really get things going. Well as much as things can get going around here. The big story coming out of last week was Big Show deciding to face Kurt Angle at the pay per view, again because WWE doesn’t know how contracts actually work. The card isn’t looking thrilling but maybe they’ll get better tonight. Oh and it’s the fifth anniversary of the show so things might be a little different tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show and thanks us for five years. More great memories will be made tonight. Nothing wrong with that.

Opening sequence, and a new one at that. No words to the theme song, but an update was needed.

New graphics too, now with a white background.

Billy Kidman vs. Paul London

Hang on though as we have a replacement.

Booker T. vs. Paul London

Non-title. Booker jumps him fast to start and elbows London in the face for two. London has a busted nose but he comes back with a middle rope kick to the jaw to take over more than you might have expected. A hot shot gets Booker out of trouble though and we hit the double arm crank. London makes the comeback with a variety of kicks to the head for two but Booker rolls through a crossbody and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. Ignore London’s shoulder being about eight inches off the mat.

Rating: C-. It was energetic while it lasted and that’s all I can ask for in something like this. I’m not sure why Booker came out for a match like this as he tends to be a somewhat cowardly champion but London got in some offense and Booker had to cheat to win. Not too bad here and when you consider how short it was, the match looks a little better.

Post match Booker says he’ll treat John Cena even worse but London jumps him from behind and leaves.

Cole won’t talk about Heidenreich but he’ll throw us to a Mick Foley video, talking about his favorite Smackdown moment. It’s from after a show went off the air when Rock was doing his shtick but dropped his sunglasses. They both stood there until Foley picked them up and got a “The Rock thanks you for that.” The transformation from Mankind into Cactus Jack gets a quick mention.

Kidman is about to leave when Theodore Long comes in to say he made a match and wanted to see it. Just like everyone wants to see Kidman doing the shooting star press. The match is going to happen and if it doesn’t, Kidman is fired.

Spike Dudley and Rey Mysterio have a staredown but Spike doesn’t want this set up as him stabbing Rey in the back. Rey thinks he’s loco and speaks some Spanish but here’s Kenzo Suzuki to tell Rey that he’ll be sorry. That means a shot to Suzuki’s face and Rey running.

Smackdown Throwback: Rock makes Coach do the Charleston. That was always a great pairing.

Some Phoenix Suns are here and don’t seem to want to look at the camera.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and has Bubba and D-Von in his corner. Rey starts fast by sending Spike face first into the corner and then he does it again for good measure. Bubba comes in for a cheap shot but gets caught, meaning it’s a double ejection. With Spike panicking, Rey hits a baseball slide but the referee won’t let him hit a dive. Instead Rey dives over the referee, in a spot straight out of ECW.

Back in and they bump heads for a break so abrupt that Cole has to apologize for it after the commercial. Rey goes shoulder first into the post but crotches the champ on top for the super hurricanrana. They’re certainly going back and forth here. The springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee, leaving Rey to load up the 619. Cue Suzuki and Rene Dupree to lay Mysterio out though and Spike retains.

Rating: C. I really don’t know what they see in Spike getting this kind of a push, though he’s certainly not the worst. It’s more along the lines of he’s not interesting and I don’t buy Bubba and D-Von as being intimidated or scared of him. They telegraphed the interference ending too and it didn’t help things. What we got was watchable, though this title reign has run its course.

Post match the beatdown is on until Rob Van Dam makes the save.

Video on the Wrestlemania XXI press conference. HHH gets in a good line by saying Hollywood is going Wrestlemania.

Stephanie McMahon’s favorite Smackdown moment was slapping her mom because it was hard for her to do. Or the mixed tag match where she was knocked off the apron and got knocked out on the steps because HHH came out and carried her to the back. Later that night, Kurt Angle kissed her, but he’s the worst kisser in the world.

Long makes Mysterio/Van Dam vs. Dupree/Suzuki for the titles at No Mercy. Long: “Fo shizzle fizzle.” Dupree: “FO SHIZZLE FIZZLE???”

Heidenreich is on his way to the ring but stops in Vince’s office instead, allowing Cole to calm down a bit.

Smackdown Throwback: Big Show and Brock Lesnar break the ring. That’s still a great visual.

Gangrel/Viscera vs. Undertaker

Fallout from last week with JBL hiring the former Ministry goons. Speaking of JBL, here he is in the limo, driving through Undertaker’s smoke for a somewhat cool visual. Viscera misses a charge in the corner (he never was that bright) and Undertaker punches Mideon without much trouble. Big boots abound but Viscera grabs a chokebomb to cut him off. The big splash gives Viscera two but a second attempt misses, allowing Undertaker to clothesline Gangrel. Undertaker cleans house with ease and the Tombstone finishes Gangrel. This was exactly what it should have been.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams (eh close enough) Viscera and crushes his throat with a chair while looking at JBL. A lot of pointing and posing ensues.

Heidenreich tells Vince that they’re similar but Vince doesn’t get where this is going. It’s a poem actually about how no one knows him, and that is a poem by Heidenreich.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

They’re both schoolgirls….but here’s Long to interrupt before anything can start. Actually hang on a second (playa) because he has a better idea.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young vs. Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson

And yes they’re all schoolgirls. We go to the “comedy” with Mae and Dawn taking turns grabbing the referee’s pants. Torrie comes in and tries a sunset flip, with Mae sitting down on it for more laughter. There’s the required Bronco Buster and it’s off to Dawn vs. Moolah. Dawn loses her top to the first real pop of the match and a schoolgirl finishes Marie, thank goodness.

Rating: F. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Diva Search, it’s that WWE can indeed manage to screw up good looking women in nice outfits. I get the idea here but egads it’s just not funny. At least they beat up the models instead of the wrestlers and that’s about all the positives you can say about this one.

Steve Austin’s favorite Smackdown moment: the first Tribute to the Troops. Oh and singing to Vince McMahon, which really was a funny bit. So none of these people advertised last week are actually going to be here in person are they?

Billy Graham is here again, just like he was on Monday.

John Cena, on top of the production truck, talks about how great Smackdown has been over the years, even quoting the Rock’s greatest hits. Well that would be different today. He gets in a few Austin lines for a bonus before promising to win the Best of Five Series.

No Mercy rundown.

Kurt Angle demands our attention and lists off some great names he’s beaten on this show. Yet he wasn’t asked about his favorite Smackdown moment. That’s a disgrace, but not as much of a disgrace as Big Show. Last week Show signed up to face him at No Mercy, so tonight he’ll create his own Smackdown moment.

Hulk Hogan’s favorite Smackdown moment is winning the Tag Team Titles with Edge on the 4^th of July.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Big Show/Eddie Guerrero

Eddie and Angle start things off but it’s off to the power guys before any contact is made. Show shoves Reigns down but an Angle distraction lets Luther hammer away to very limited success. It’s back to Eddie to chop Reigns in the corner, followed by Three Amigos and a quick taunt to Angle. That’s enough to bring Angle in for a cheap shot and the villains take over for the first time.

Of course Angle is fine with going after Eddie on the mat but the threat of a Show right hand from the apron lets Eddie hit a quick hilo. Angle gets in his own suplex for two and the beating continues. The Angle Slam is countered with an armdrag though and Eddie nails a dropkick. Show comes back in for a chokeslam on Reigns but Angle breaks up a super frog splash.

Rating: C. It was your standard main event tag match until the pretty weak ending, though I can understand not jobbing Angle. What we got wasn’t bad though as Eddie is still one of the most popular faces on the show. Speaking of the show, the Big one is doing well enough as a face and is in the best shape I’ve seen him in in years, though the interest is probably limited.

Post match Jindrak takes out Eddie but Show gets his hands on him….so Angle whips out a tranquilizer dart gun and shoots Show in the back to make him wobble. Show tries to fight anyway but the dart sticking out of his back finally takes him down. With Show out, Jindrak runs to the back and comes back with scissors and hair clippers to leave Show bald, a look that he would have for the rest of his career. The haircut takes a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Aside from the complete disaster that was Torrie and Dawn as schoolgirls (just go with it), this was a completely mediocre show with very little standing out and almost nothing I can remember by the ending. The show was completely watchable, but No Mercy is looking weaker and weaker by the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2004
Location: Spokane Arena, Spokane, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on No Mercy and a lot of the card is either already set or pretty clear. Last week saw the return of the Big Show, who you know is going to be treated as a major star. To be fair, when he’s motivated and ready to go, he’s not half bad. The problem is when he’s more than half bad, which happens far too often. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Big Show returning and beating up the lumberjacks last week. That was a good way to showcase his dominance.

Opening sequence.

Torrie Wilson comes out to ring announce for the sake of eye candy.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #4 in the Best of Five series with Booker up 2-1. Booker starts fast with an early rollup for two, followed by a backslide for the same. Cena’s sunset flip and small package get the same, plus a VERY enthusiastic reaction from a fan in the front row. That’s enough to send Booker outside for a breather as we take a break. Back with Booker kicking him in the face for two and grabbing one of the most quickly broken chinlocks I’ve ever seen. Booker is right back with a hard superkick for two and a longer chinlock.

A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Booker two but Cena’s flapjack is enough to actually start the comeback. The big shoulder misses though and Booker nails a spinebuster for two more. An attempt to bring in the belt gets Booker rolled up for two more and the Shuffle is good for the same. The referee gets shoved though and Booker nails him with the belt, as somehow the referee is fine with Cena going from normal to out in half a second. That’s only good for two as well, followed by a quick FU to tie up the series.

Rating: C+. They still have good chemistry together sot he match was easy to watch, though it’s not exactly something that is worth seeing. Cena is getting better and better every day at this point and you can feel his time starting to come. Booker is still a big enough deal to be a threat to him, but I don’t think there’s any hiding the fact that it’s Cena’s title to win soon.

Theodore Long praises Big Show for his return and offers Show a match with either Kurt Angle or Eddie Guerrero at No Mercy. Just please not a triple threat.

Next week: a night of stars as it’s the fifth anniversary of Smackdown! Hulk Hogan! Mick Foley! Stephanie McMahon! Yes Stephanie is listed third here! Vince McMahon! Steve Austin!

Michael Cole brings out Billy Kidman for a chat. Cole talks about Kidman losing his confidence over the botched shooting star press and costing himself and Paul London the Tag Team Titles last week (actually a pretty unique story). Kidman doesn’t like being called a quitter because he walked out on last week’s match to prevent another injury. He’s really just misunderstood because all he wants to do is keep people save. A few weeks ago his knee drove Chavo’s head into the mat and now these bloodthirsty fans want to see him do it again?

This brings out Paul London to say he doesn’t believe Kidman is misunderstood. Kidman walked out on him and cost them the titles because Kidman quit. London hands him the mic but Kidman has nothing to say, earning himself a slap in the face. Kidman walks away without saying anything. I’m liking this story.

Smackdown Flashback Moment: TLC III.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Dudley Boyz

D-Von punches Rob into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. It’s off to Mysterio for two off a Lionsault press to D-Von. Bubba comes in and gets punched as well, only to have Spike trip Rey up like a good villainous boss who happens to look 13 years old tends to do.

One heck of a release wheel barrow suplex gives Bubba two so he promises to do it again. Since he’s kind of loud, Rey knows what’s coming and reverses into his layout bulldog instead. That’s enough for the hot tag to Rob, who gets to kick D-Von in the face again. Near heel miscommunication ensues again, allowing Rey to dive onto Bubba. The Five Star finishes D-Von, despite a big bounce that delays the cover.

Rating: C-. I feel like we’ve seen this match a dozen times in recent months. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad one, but it’s something that has been done so many times before that it doesn’t have much of an impact. Spike as the Dudleys’ boss isn’t exactly getting them somewhere, though I can get the idea of trying to freshen the team up a little bit.

Post match Spike yells at both Dudleys, including a low blow to D-Von. Dang D-Von has taken quite the beating tonight.

Cole talks about last week’s situation with Paul Heyman and Heidenreich, so Tazz shows us a clip. Cole won’t apologize.

Eddie comes in to see Big Show and praises him for how awesome last week’s return was. It made him think of the Running of the Bulls, because there was one bull who stood 7’ and weighed 500lbs. Eddie: “That’s a lot of bull.” Show has two contracts, but Eddie wants the fight at No Mercy.

Orlando Jordan and JBL arrive with the champ saying he has to prove he’s not afraid of the Undertaker. That means calling him out again tonight.

Here’s JBL in the arena and I guess tonight meant next. He does not flip flop like so many political figures of today, so Undertaker can get out here RIGHT NOW. Undertaker comes out (thankfully the full sized version this time) and JBL actually sends Jordan to the back to do this one on one. The hat and tie come off and the fight begins, with Undertaker kicking him in the head.

The threat of a chokeslam sends JBL bailing but here are Gangrel and Viscera of all people to jump Undertaker. Viscera hits a chokebomb, which Cole calls a “variation of a double chokeslam into a sitout powerbomb.” Since that’s exactly what the move is, what is it a variation of? The beatdown cuts off Undertaker’s comeback and a pair of splashes keep him laying. JBL poses on Undertaker because he never learns.

Sign up for Tough Enough!

Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. FBI

Non-title and now I’m supposed to cheer for the FBI? Tazz can’t understand why the Japanese Hiroko is walking around the French poodle. Earlier today, Nunzio and Stamboli agreed to stick with the game plan for the match. Dupree shoulders Stamboli to start with little effect. Some power puts Dupree in trouble so it’s off to Nunzio, who gets low bridged to the floor.

As the match goes on, here’s Heidenreich to kidnap Cole from the announcers’ table. With the two of them gone, Dupree hits the French Tickler….and now Tazz goes off to find Cole and Heidenreich. The hot tag brings in Stamboli to take over but Kenzo shoves Nunzio off the top. Dupree’s Michinoku Driver is enough to pin Stamboli. Too much of the match was spent on the announcers’ stuff, but that was more interesting than anything going on in the ring.

Raw Rebound.

And now, the scene where Heidenreich is implied to be raping Michael Cole. We go to the back where Cole is standing face first against a wall with Heidenreich behind him. The look on Cole’s face tells you just about all you need to know here and Heidenreich….uh….I guess the term would be thrusting, which shakes Cole at the same time, pretty much confirms it. Heidenreich says he’s been studying Cole and they “have the same desires.” Heidenreich: “I’m going to give you what you want.”

Heidenreich locks the door, making Cole look even more afraid. He keeps his face next to Cole’s ear and breathes, as this is one of those things where you can’t realistically say it’s anything else. I absolutely do not remember it being this blunt but my goodness man. That’s rather disturbing to see and it’s hard to believe this ever made air.

Luther Reigns comes in to see Big Show. He knows it’s a tough decision, but Show should pick Eddie. See, the WWE needs Angle around and Show already put him on the shelf for several months. The three of them are different and outcasts, because Eddie doesn’t care about Show. Reigns and Angle do though, and Show needs to think about that. They’re really making this out to be a big deal when Show might as well flip a coin.

Match #5 between Cena and Booker will take place at No Mercy. We still have no commentary to talk about this.

Heidenreich now has Cole by the throat and says he’s going to give Cole something he’s wanted to share with him since the moment he saw Cole for the first time. It’s a poem, which talks about how Heidenreich is a tortured soul and his heart was broken years ago. Cole goes to leave and gets out, only after Heidenreich commands and receives a thank you. Thus ends one of the most disturbing segments in Smackdown history.

Charlie Haas vs. Spike Dudley

Non-title and here’s Tazz again to do solo commentary and Bubba and D-Von are in Spike’s corner. Charlie takes him down with an amateur hold to start, followed by a rather fast armdrag. The fans are too busy whistling at Miss Jackie (fair enough), who gets surrounded by Bubba and D-Von. It’s enough of a distraction for Bubba to snap the arm over the middle rope and Spike goes after the arm. That means the Bob Backlund lifting slam counter, followed by a top rope spinning crossbody counter. The Dudley Dog is broken up but D-Von comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was little more than a way for Tazz to come back out and fill in some time in the ring. Haas and Jackie are fine enough as an act, but it’s almost impossible to have Haas, who isn’t the most interesting guy in the world, get attention when Jackie looks like she does. It’s not like the ending here was really in that much doubt, as it was going to be this or Bubba and D-Von cheating to give Spike the pin.

Post match the double beatdown is on until Rico returns for the save.

Carlito walks in front of moving cars to talk about how cool he is.

Next week: Undertaker vs. Mideon and Viscera. So Long can order non-contracted wrestlers into matches?

Speaking of Long, here he is for the contract signing. Before anyone else comes out, we get a quick poll on who the fans want to see face Big Show. Eddie seems to be the favorite, but here’s Big Show to make his decision. Angle, Reigns and Guerrero all join him though as this is getting a ridiculous amount of time. Before Show can make his choice, Angle says he doesn’t hold a grudge over his broken leg. He’s a businessman, and it would be bad business for Show to pick him. Show’s first pay per view match back should be against someone who doesn’t like him.

The right business move is to destroy Eddie, proving that Show will fight for the people. Eddie promises Show a fight that he’ll remember for the rest of his life. Long presents him with both contracts, with Tazz getting in a very nice point of clarity by saying which is which. The fans want a triple threat but Show isn’t sure what to do. He signs the Eddie contract but Angle jumps Guerrero.

Show laughs for a bit before breaking the Eddie contract over his knee and signing to face Angle. As usual: I don’t think WWE has any idea how contracts work. Reigns kicks Show in the face but Eddie gets back up and helps clear the ring. Long makes a tag match for next week’s main event to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What in the world am I supposed to say about this one? The wrestling was more miss than hit, the show ended on a nearly fifteen minute Big Show segment, there was no commentary for a lot of the show, and….I know I’m forgetting something here. Something disturbing that has been brought up for nearly fifteen years since it actually took place and is the main thing that anyone remembers about a wrestler. Eh must have already been blocked from my mind for reasons of general disturbances. Nothing good to see here, though it wasn’t lacking energy for most of the night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 9, 2004
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming off last week’s huge pay per view style main event when Kurt Angle won the third match in the series against Eddie Guerrero, which will end their rivalry completely forever. The next pay per view will likely start its build tonight, which should make for some more important shows. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Theodore Long says last week didn’t answer anything because Luther Reigns got involved. Therefore tonight we’ll be seeing Angle vs. Eddie one more time in a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title, Haas is the Oklahoma boy, and Orlando Jordan and Jackie Gayda are at ringside. Charlie takes him down with a drop toehold into a headlock and it’s time to work on the leg. JBL grabs a rope and since his leg wasn’t pulled that much, it’s a big boot to drop Haas in a hurry. Some forearms cut Haas down again but the Clothesline From JBL is cut off with a dropkick. A spinning ax handle gets two and you can feel the air going out of the arena on the kickout. Haas hits a t-bone but Orlando Jordan goes after Jackie, distracting Haas enough for the Clothesline to connect for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s all it needed to be as Haas isn’t on JBL’s level and losing to him isn’t going to hurt him. Haas’ comeback had some energy to it and he has just enough credibility to make something like this work. Not a terrible match here either and acceptable for a quick opener.

Post match JBL, after being reminded where we are, gives us a stock tip: invest in him, because the country is a better place with him as champion. Crime is down, the economy is up, and the USA’s Olympic teams have been very successful. That brings him back to Eddie, but first we need to get one of those JBL chants going. He’s beaten everyone put in front of him to retain the title (all two of them), with the Undertaker being his greatest accomplishment.

Since Undertaker failed, there will be no more title shots. What he’ll do though is give Undertaker a funeral in two weeks. A hearse comes out and JBL says Rest In Peace….but here’s Long to interrupt. He doesn’t like what JBL has said, so we’ll deal with that at No Mercy in a Last Ride (casket but with a hearse) Match. JBL’s panicked response is funny.

Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Billy Kidman vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Suzuki and Dupree are challenging and London has a banged up shoulder after Heidenreich’s attack last week. Hiroko is out with the challengers and you can almost guarantee the interference from here. London slides between Dupree’s legs to start and snaps off a hurricanrana to take over. It’s off to Kidman, who walks into an assisted hot shot to put the champs in trouble. Kenzo comes in and gets to show off with an armbar but Kidman fights up and dives over for the tag….which the referee doesn’t see.

The champs come in instead and start cleaning house with an enziguri dropping Kenzo. Kidman still can’t do the shooting star though, instead dropping down and tagging London. That seems to be enough for Kidman, as he walks out on the match. Back from a break with Dupree working on the bad arm (the right one for an odd visual) as the fans chant USA. London manages to kick Suzuki to the floor, where he low bridges him outside as well (in a heck of a bump). The bad arm is sent into the post, setting up a Michinoku Driver from Dupree. Kenzo’s claw legsweep gives us new champions.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match but it gives us Dupree and Suzuki as champions. Kidman and London were running uphill the entire time they held the titles and this didn’t exactly help things. There’s barely a division at this point and two midcard heels have been thrown together to win the titles from a thrown together cruiserweight team. Not a very good match, but it wasn’t exactly supposed to be.

Big Show is coming back.

London is having his shoulder checked but goes over to Kidman, who doesn’t seem to care about the title loss. Kidman stares at him but has nothing to say before leaving.

Booker T. is leaving but runs into Long, saying he has to go train for his match with John Cena next week. Actually not so fast because he’ll be a lumberjack tonight.

Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title with Bubba and D-Von in Spike’s corner. Spike jumps him from behind to start but Rey fires off some right hands and forearms. Rey’s spinning springboard crossbody connects (with Spike having to run over to get into position) and it’s 619 time but the Dudleys come in. Before it gets bad, Hardcore Holly runs in for the save, only to get beaten down as well. Rob Van Dam runs in as well and the good guys clean house as the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Spike Dudley/Dudley Boyz vs. Rey Mysterio/Hardcore Holly/Rob Van Dam

There’s no opening bell as Van Dam kicks D-Von in the face for an early two. The middle rope kick to the face is good for the same but D-Von gets in a neckbreaker to take over. Bubba adds one of his own, setting up Spike’s top rope double stomp. The rib work continues with the reverse chinlock from D-Von, followed by a jumping back elbow for two.

Spike gets kicked in the chest though and the hot tag brings in Holly, because when you think high energy, you think Sparky Plugg. Everything breaks down and Rey (that’s more like it) comes in with a springboard seated senton for two. Rob kicks Bubba and D-Von down, setting up the Five Star on Bubba. There’s no cover though, leaving Holly to hit the Alabama Slam on Spike. Rey Drops the Dime for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here, likely setting up Spike’s title defense against Mysterio at No Mercy. It’s not the worst idea in the world, though Holly being there felt rather out of place. I know Gunn is gone, but did they really not have anything better for Holly to do? Not terrible, but just a means to an end and that’s acceptable.

Kurt Angle says there is no controversy because he won last week. Josh Matthews would know that if he kept his record book on him!

Here’s John Cena for a chat, likely in rhyme. Cena talks about his back being against the wall, but it’s because Booker has been cheating. We get a Stevie Ray reference to set up the usual barrage of gay jokes. They can be amusing, but they feel cringe worthy at this point.

The Tough Enough deadline has been extended. That’s awesome.

We recap last week’s 2/3 falls match.

Carlito is still coming and kicks over a kid’s sandcastle on the way.

Paul Heyman tells Long that Heidenreich isn’t here tonight because he’s been given the night off. That’s fine with Long, as Heyman can wrestle a match instead. It can be against a ring announcer, sending Heyman into a panic at the idea of fighting Tazz. Long says it’s not Tazz, so Heyman goes into a rant about Cole. This actually prompts Cole to say he can take Heyman out just like that. Heyman comes to the arena….and it’s a swerve.

Funaki vs. Paul Heyman

Well it’s a better idea….and it doesn’t happen as Heidenreich comes in and wrecks Funaki before the bell ever rings. Heyman covers and counts his own pin.

Heidenreich chases Cole off and I’m scared of where this is going.

Smackdown Throwback: Vince, Rikishi and a thong.

Raw Rundown.

Cole is terrified but agrees to come back to the desk.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Lumberjack match, with the usual suspects around the ring. They all get their own introductions to fill in a good chunk of the time we have left. Feeling out process to start with Eddie hitting an early dropkick, followed by a clothesline to send Angle outside. It’s on the villain side though and Angle is sent back inside without any issue. A backdrop puts Eddie in trouble and some right hands keep him that way.

Eddie is right back with right hands of his own, followed by another dropkick to put Angle on the good side. That means a failed escape attempt as they really haven’t gotten out of first gear so far. Just to mix things up a bit, Angle sends Eddie outside onto the heel side but since the referee is watching, nothing happens. Eddie comes up swinging anyway and gets back inside as we take a break.

Back with Angle getting two off a backbreaker and slapping on the abdominal stretch. The reverse chinlock goes on for a bit until Eddie suplexes his way to freedom. This time Eddie gets sent outside on the good side, where they’re nice enough to throw him inside for another suplex. Eddie dances back up though and the Three Amigos connect.

The referee checks on Angle for no logical reason, allowing Luther Reigns to crotch Eddie on top. That means a heck of a top rope superplex for a delayed two but Eddie slips out of the Angle Slam and grabs the ankle lock. The lumberjacks finally erupt….and here’s the Big Show to go after everyone as I’m assuming the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. It’s hard to argue against Angle vs. Eddie but there’s only so much you can do when a majority of the match is spent on having both guys thrown outside for the usual lumberjack shenanigans. Big Show returning here is acceptable as a way to get out of the ending, but they already had a screwy finish last week. Show being back is important, though I’m not exactly thrilled at the idea of another Show push.

House is cleaned inside and outside as no one can do a thing to Show. Chokeslams crush Eddie and Angle, followed by one more to Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. While nothing was all that great on here, it was a good showcase of everything Smackdown had going on with a bunch of different stories getting some TV time. You can see a lot of No Mercy from here and that’s good with less than a month to go. The show was a really easy hour and a half to watch and I’ll gladly take that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2019
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s Stephanie time. Last week Becky Lynch challenged Ronda Rousey for Wrestlemania and this week Stephanie will indeed be here to add her thirty five cents to the whole thing. I’m not sure what the point of this is but I’m sure it’s to give a rub or a blessing or something to the match. Or just so she can say she was involved. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Stephanie in the ring because she can’t wait any longer than that. Becky’s entrance cuts her off though, complete with a limp. Stephanie shows us a clip from last week’s showdown with Rousey, with Ronda talking about the bad knee. Back in the arena, Stephanie talks about the knee, with Becky says she’ll fight anyone and the doctors aren’t looking at her.

That’s not cool with Stephanie, who won’t let Becky compete without an examination. Becky doesn’t think Stephanie has ever struggled for a thing because she’s a daddy’s girl who was handed everything but wants to stop Becky from fighting for everything. No one is stopping her from Wrestlemania and that includes Stephanie.

That sounds like a liability to Stephanie because the knee can’t hold the match back. If Becky won’t get evaluated, she’s suspended until further notice. Stephanie does suspend her so Becky knocks her down with one punch. The knee gives out when Becky goes for the Disarm-Her so she beats up agents and goes for Stephanie again. Becky still can’t walk properly so she limps up the ramp.

Post break Becky is limping through the back when she runs into Ronda Rousey. Ronda talks about being a professional and has a pay per view to sell. What Lynch did out there didn’t help anything. Why can’t they just let Ronda snap on her instead of reading these awful lines that no human would ever use?

Ronda Rousey vs. Liv Morgan

Non-title. Liv bails to the floor to start before coming back inside, only to get thrown down again. Back in again and Liv taps to the armbar at 1:26. Barely a match.

Post match Rousey grabs the mic and says the fans are booing her so she wants someone to do something. Like Sarah Logan.

Ronda Rousey vs. Sarah Logan

Non-title with Logan driving her into the corner to start, earning herself an armbar attempt as we take a break. Back with Logan countering a triangle choke and powerbombing Rousey into the corner. Rousey takes her down into an arm trap and hammers away, setting up the armbar for the tap at 4:50. Most of it was during the break but this was another dominant performance.

Post match, Ruby Riott looks up at Ronda and gets on the apron. Ronda says come on but Ruby bails instead.

In the back, Ruby says she can beat Rousey but it’s going to be for the title. Right now, her friends need her so Ronda can wait.

Bayley and Sasha Banks are ready to win the Women’s Tag Team Titles despite recent championship failures. They’ll make history at Elimination Chamber. Alicia Fox and Nikki Cross come in to say they’ll win instead.

Heavy Machinery vs. Revival vs. Lucha House Party vs. B-Team

One fall to a finish and the winners get a title shot at some point. Metalik and Dorado for the House Party here. Axel and Metalik start things off as Cole points out that the same kind of match was used on Smackdown. Dorado comes in for an armbar on Wilder, followed by a German suplex from Knight. It’s off to Otis for a spinning slam as everything breaks down.

Machinery cleans house without much effort and the House Party hits some dives. Back in and the ode to the Bushwhackers sets up a double stomach bump to Dawson. For some reason Dawson is thrown over the top instead of covered as we take a break. We come back with all four still in the match and Dawson putting Metalik in a chinlock.

That’s broken up and it’s off to Dorado for a dropsault to the Revival, followed by the double Golden Rewind. Otis tags himself in and starts cleaning house with Otis nailing the Caterpillar. Wilder breaks up the Compactor though and Dawson tags himself in, only to get rolled up by Dallas for two. Not that it matters as the Shatter Machine finishes Dallas at 11:59.

Rating: C. The match was fun with Heavy Machinery getting to shine again, though there isn’t much else to say here. I’m assuming Revival gets the titles to make them happy, but it still feels pretty slapped together. Revival doesn’t seem to belong in a four way, but at this point I think they’ll take whatever they can get.

Curt Hawkins tells Zack Ryder that they’ll be in the ring next time. Hawkins says maybe they will be if Ryder has another partner, but Ryder doesn’t want to hear that. Last week they spelled his name wrong, but they’re going to end this losing streak together. Hawkins: “Maybe then they’ll get your name right.”

Various wrestlers shake Kurt Angle’s hand.

Here’s Angle to talk about everything he’s accomplished in his career. He tore the house down with Shawn Michaels and soiled the ring with milk in one of the greatest segments in Raw history. No matter what though, he’s always had the fans to tell him he sucks. Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Angle: “Thank you….I guess.” The Three I’s have turned into Three D’s: defeat, doubt and depression. Angle has lost a lot lately and he knows he can’t beat Father Time.

This brings out Baron Corbin, who says this speech needed to take place at the Hall of Fame. Corbin calls Angle old and broken down so Angle threatens to break his ankle. This brings out Drew McIntyre to talk about Angle tapping to his own ankle lock. Tonight, Portland needs to get its cameras ready because the two of them are putting Angle down for good. The ring is surrounded but here’s Braun Strowman for the save. House is cleaned with the villains running through the crowd.

Wrestlers talk about Rosa Parks.

We look at Seth Rollins winning the Royal Rumble and then taking a beating from Brock Lesnar.

Women’s Tag Team Titles Qualifying Match: Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Nikki Cross/Alicia Fox

Cross and Fox jump Banks on the stage until Bayley makes the save. The villains get the better of it again and Banks is still down. She was rumored to be injured so this sounds like a way to write it off. We’re joined in progress after a break with Bayley hitting a sliding lariat on Fox before it’s off to Cross. Bayley beats both of them up at the same time with a crossbody getting two on Fox.

A belly to back gets two on Fox and there’s another one to Cross. The Stunner over the middle rope drops Fox but a Cross distraction lets Fox hit an ax kick (looked like a Fameasser) for two. Cross grabs the chinlock and then gets two off a bulldog. They head outside with Banks pulling Bayley out of the way of a charge, sending Cross into the post. Back inside and Bayley rolls Fox up for the pin at 5:48.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much that could be done here as Bayley was on her own due to Banks being injured. Bayley did her thing, which was only so good and there’s nothing wrong with that all things considered. Banks could be healed up for the Elimination Chamber and if that’s the case, everything is fine. Also, at least Fox took the pin.

We look back at Elias attacking Jeff Jarrett and the Roadie last week.

Tonight: Angle/Strowman vs. Corbin/McIntyre.

Apollo Crews is worried about Angle competing tonight. Rezar and Drake Maverick come up and tell Apollo to admit that he’s scared. Apollo makes short jokes and a match seems teased.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Elias

Roadie, in a Portland Trailblazers jersey, handles the intro, apparently making Jarrett a member of the New Age Outlaws for the night. Jeff does his intro but Roadie wants to finish last week’s song. I love With My Baby Tonight so I can’t complain too much. Elias finally cuts them off to say that song hasn’t aged well. Elias wants to show us what a real entertainer can do so Jarrett channels Razor Ramon by telling Elias to bring it. The fight is on outside and we take an early break.

Back with Elias punching away but Jeff gets in his own right hands. Elias’ jumping knee to the face gets two and we hit the chinlock. A suplex sets up another chinlock but Elias needs to go after Roadie instead. Jeff slugs away for a breather and we get the strut into an enziguri. Roadie gets knocked down again, setting up Drift Away for the pin on Jarrett at 7:50.

Rating: D-. I’m still not sure what the point of this was and I don’t think WWE does either. At least they went with this in a relatively short match on Raw instead of on a pay per view, but it’s not like there was much o a demand here. At least Elias won and they didn’t do something a lot dumber like having Jarrett win or knock him silly. Bad match of course, but why expect something else?

Post match Roadie jumps Elias for a distraction so Jarrett can guitar him down.

Dana Brooke apologizes to Natalya but starts yelling, eventually setting up a match for next week. Natalya had her headphones in and didn’t hear a thing. Uh, funny I guess.

We recap the opening sequence.

Finn Balor says the Irish are stubborn by nature and he’s not going to be held down by a bully like Lashley. He’ll take the fight to Lashley, just like he did to Brock Lesnar.

Intercontinental Title: Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending. Actually hang on a second as Rush is in gear and Lashley has a microphone. Balor is banged up so we’re not seeing a mouse vs. a Mack truck tonight. Lashley brings up Balor losing last week because he can beat Lesnar in a ring, an octagon or in his sleep. Balor needs to find someone closer to his size so tonight he has Lio Rush. If Balor entertains him enough, we might have a title match later.

Finn Balor vs. Lio Rush

Before the match, Lashley kicks him in the bad ribs and drives some shoulders into the ribs in the corner. Rush is fine with the advantage and stomps away in the corner to start. Balor fights back and sends Rush outside, only to have Lashley grab the foot. That’s enough for an ejection, only to have Rush hit a suicide dive to send Balor into the barricade. Back from a break with Rush holding an abdominal stretch, which doesn’t last all that long. Balor knees him in the face for the break and scores with an enziguri.

It’s too early for the Coup de Grace though as Rush crotches him on top for a super hurricanrana into a near fall. Something like another abdominal stretch is reversed into the real thing from Balor. It’s so strange to see Balor as the bigger and stronger guy. The Sling Blade drops Rush again but the ribs give out on the 1916 attempt. Rush misses the Final Hour though and it’s the Coup de Grace for the pin at 8:57.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here and another great reason to have people like Rush as managers and talkers: you can throw them in there to work a match every now and then and it’s not like anything is going to be lost. Rush is a regular wrestler and not a manager who can do some moves, meaning you can do this and be just fine. Balor vs. Lashley at Elimination Chamber should work, especially if Balor finally wins a title.

Post match Lashley hits the ring so Balor bails.

Here’s Paige to introduce a clip from Fighting With My Family.

Maybe she’ll fill in for Lynch at Wrestlemania next. Cue Dean Ambrose (Jax: “How dare you interrupt my interrupt.”) to say it’s obvious that Jax has a huge crush on me. Renee: “Oh.” She’s not the first person to deal with his raw animal magnetism but don’t ever come near him again.

As for Alexa, who is this EC3 guy? Before EC3 can say anything, Dean knocks the mic out of his hand and then won’t let EC3 answer any questions? Dean: “Where are EC1 and EC2? You look like a Creed fan. Why do you hang out backstage like some mute Chippendale dancer?” EC3 punches him in the face (Renee: “I’m going to have to work on those interview skills with him.”) and walks to the ring.

EC3 vs. Dean Ambrose

EC3 hits a quick right hand and drops the EC3 elbow but Dean takes over in a hurry. We hit the chinlock but Dean breaks it up in a hurry and hits his forward DDT. A quick jackknife cover (with Dean pretty much just laying there) gives EC3 the pin at 2:27.

Angle almost didn’t bring his gear tonight but something told him to. He’s not fighting alone tonight and he’s glad Strowman is on his team.

Mojo Rawley laughs in a mirror and still seems crazy. It’s all on us now.

Kurt Angle/Braun Strowman vs. Drew McIntyre/Baron Corbin

Angle German suplexes Corbin early on and it’s Strowman running McIntyre over on the floor. That leaves Angle to grab the ankle lock on Corbin, who kicks away pretty easily. Back from a break with Angle in trouble as Corbin slaps on a chinlock. Angle fights back with some right hands and a whip into the corner but Corbin slides underneath the ropes while tagging out at the same time.

That’s enough for Drew to come in and kick Angle in the back of the head to keep the good guys in trouble. Drew hits an Angle Slam of his own and the ankle lock goes on. That’s rolled through and Angle runs over for the tag to Strowman. House is cleaned in a hurry but Corbin avoids a charge to send Strowman outside, meaning it’s a ram into the post.

Back in and Strowman fights up without much effort and tries a double suplex. It’s only a suplex to McIntyre though as Corbin gets more of a neckbreaker. The next hot tag brings in Angle for the German suplexes as everything breaks down. Strowman, illegal, beats up Corbin….and that’s a DQ at 12:14. I do appreciate those random enforcements of various rules.

Rating: D+. Remember when McIntyre was supposed to be getting a huge push? This is far from the worst thing in the world for him to be doing but it’s also not exactly thrilling. Angle is pretty clearly wrapping up his in-ring career which is a good thing, though it’s still not easy to watch him wrestle like this when he’s so far past his prime.

Post match Strowman runs Corbin over but walks into a Claymore over the barricade. The steps are thrown inside but Strowman gets back in for the save with a chokeslam onto the steps for both of them.

Overall Rating: D. I’m not sure if WWE realizes this, but we’re less than two weeks away from Elimination Chamber and there are three matches made, with zero of them coming from Raw (one has Raw wrestlers involved, but it’s co-branded). This felt like any given show but you would think they could add in a match or two instead of having everything done next week. So much of this came off as filler and that’s not a good sign two weeks from a pay per view and two months from Wrestlemania.

Results

Ronda Rousey b. Liv Morgan – Armbar

Ronda Rousey b. Sarah Logan – Armbar

Revival b. B-Team, Heavy Machinery and Lucha House Party – Shatter Machine to Dallas

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox/Nikki Cross – Rollup to Cross

Elias b. Jeff Jarrett – Drift Away

Finn Balor b. Lio Rush – Coup de Grace

EC3 b. Dean Ambrose – Rollup

Drew McIntyre/Baron Corbin b. Kurt Angle/Braun Strowman via DQ when Strowman attacked Corbin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 2, 2004
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This feels like the big non-PPV month edition of the show with a huge main event in the form of Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a 2/3 falls match, which should blow off their feud once and for all. Other than that we have more between JBL and Undertaker, which is likely going to give us a title rematch at whatever the next pay per view is going to be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video focuses on Angle vs. Guerrero, as it certainly should. It really has been a great rivalry.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Booker T. for a chat. Booker is sick of everyone going around chanting CENA no matter where he is. Last week he tied to score in the series and we get a clip of the second match. That wasn’t it though, as Booker won the third match over the weekend, only needing a pull of the jean shorts to take the lead. Booker rhymes a bit but here’s Rey Mysterio to cut him off, giving us a great bugged out eye look.

Rey thinks Booker must be sick of the John Cena chants and might prefer the 619 version. A fight is teased but here’s Kenzo Suzuki to interrupt. Kenzo says 619 is an American area code and since Rey isn’t from America, he is a liar, liar, pants on fire. That’s not cool with Suzuki, who is a real American with a smile like Tom Cruise. Rob Van Dam comes in and jumps Suzuki, only to have Rene Dupree jump him to keep things even. Theodore Long comes out to make a six man tag for right now.

Booker T./Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam/John Cena

Booker is in street clothes. We’re joined in progress with Cena planting Suzuki but a Booker distraction breaks up the Shuffle. It’s enough to allow Booker to come in and hammer away before handing it off to Dupree. That’s fine with Cena who ax handles him down and brings in the fresh Van Dam. Dupree gets kicked down and it’s time for an early standoff.

Booker comes back in for some more success but, possibly not being so comfortable wrestling in business casual, hands it back to Dupree for a chinlock. The hold lasts as long as you would expect as it’s off to Rey for the springboard spinning crossbody. Rey breaks up the French Tickler and Van Dam comes back in as everything breaks down. A 619 into Dropping the Dime finishes Dupree.

Rating: C-. Kind of a bland match but it was a better idea than the same singles matches that we’re going to see time after time. The problem here though is the villains, as neither Dupree or Suzuki are even remotely intimidating or imposing. Neither is a threat to Mysterio or Van Dam, meaning these matches aren’t the most enthralling.

We see the ending of Angle vs. Guerrero at Wrestlemania.

Long comes up to Paul Heyman in the back and wants to see Heidenreich. That’s not possible as Heidenreich is behind a locked door due to public safety. Long can dig that, but Heyman is personally responsible for Heidenreich’s actions. After attacking Josh Matthews last week, Heidenreich is being fined $5000, which is Heyman’s responsibility. Oh and no checks, as Heyman isn’t the most reliable when it comes to money. Heyman: “Holla holla holla to you too Mr. Long.”

We look back at Billy Kidman hitting the shooting star press on Chavo Guerrero last week with his knee hitting Chavo’s head. In unseen footage from last week, we see Chavo being tended to by medics. He was unconscious for five minutes and very hazy for twenty more.

Jamie Noble comes up to Kidman in the back, saying Kidman should be gone after what happened last week. Kidman thinks Jamie sounds afraid and doesn’t exactly seem apologetic.

Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming and you better be cool.

Billy Kidman/Paul London vs. FBI

Non-title and it’s Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli for the Italians. During their entrances, the FBI talks about how they’re a bit weary of the shooting star as well. Nunzio’s advice: don’t play dead or you’ll be dead. London wastes no time in kicking Nunzio out to the floor but everything breaks down in a hurry. We settle down to Johnny backdropping London with ease as Tazz explains why Johnny is called the Bull. Something about him being strong.

Rating: D+. I can certainly appreciate turning something that happened organically into a storyline, but this is the second time the champs have lost a non-title match to a very low level team. The division is hardly deep in the first place and having your champions, who work well together, lose to teams like this is a bad idea, especially so frequently.

Post match Kidman isn’t sure what to do but here’s Heidenreich to beat up both champs. Just in case they had something left in the tank. The beatdown goes on for a long time with Heyman having to come in and calm things down.

Long sends a referee to get Heidenreich because the fines are increasing. Torrie Wilson comes in to say she’s nervous about Big Show coming back. Does anyone remember that story? Long says this is a different Big Show, because he’s attended anger management. As you might guess, Torrie isn’t convinced.

Orlando Jordan vs. Charlie Haas

JBL, now without the halo, because you heal faster after having one of those ripped off before you get beaten up, is out for commentary. Haas takes him down without much effort but the referee rather annoyingly walks between them, allowing Jordan to spear him down. Jordan unhooks a turnbuckle pad before going with a kick to Haas’ ribs. Haas ducks a high crossbody and gets caught in a high collar suplex for two. Jordan gets desperate and goes for the turnbuckle, sending Haas into the exposed steal. A neckbreaker (kind of a reverse Twist of Fate) finishes Haas.

Rating: D. You have to establish Jordan as the lackey but that wasn’t exactly the most thrilling way to do it. Then again, nothing about Jordan has ever been described as thrilling and that was on full display here. At some point, the lack of talent is going to catch up with you and that’s the case with Jordan. He’s just not very good and there’s no way around it.

Post match Jordan distracts the referee so JBL can hit the Clothesline.

Ivory, Linda McMahon and Big Show are at the Republican National Convention. Show could not look less interested if he tried in the most entertaining part of the night.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardcore Holly/Billy Gunn

Spike is here with Bubba and D-Von and slaps Holly before the bell. It doesn’t seem to matter as Gunn shoulders D-Von down to take over early on. Bubba offers a trip though and D-Von nails a quick clothesline. Some elbow drops get two but Gunn gets in an elbow of his own, allowing the hot tag to Holly.

The crowd reaction is about what you would expect but Holly plows ahead anyway. Everything breaks down and Spike pulls D-Von out of the way of a charge. Bubba charges into an elbow in the corner and gets caught with a top rope bulldog, only to have Spike come in with a title shot to the head, giving Bubba the easy pin.

Rating: D. And that’s Gunn’s last match in WWE for over eight years. I know he got a very nice midcard push at one point, but how far can you go with a name and theme song of Mr. A**? The answer would be a lot higher than expected, but there’s only so much you can do with what he had. He certainly had a great career, especially in tag team wrestling, and the Hall of Fame induction is coming one day. I was never much of a fan though and watching him back after the Attitude Era hasn’t been a lot of fun. Gunn did well for himself, but he must have a headache from hitting that ceiling so hard.

Clip of the end of Guerrero vs. Angle from Summerslam.

Carlito is still coming. Nothing has changed in the last thirty five minutes. At least it’s a different vignette, but it doesn’t hide the fact that he’s a weaker version of Razor Ramon.

Raw Rebound.

Smackdown Throwback: Big Show and Brock Lesnar break the ring. I know it’s been done again since but that’s still an incredible sight.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

2/3 falls. They go with the amateur grappling to start with Angle naturally getting the better of things. Eddie spins out of a front facelock and we get the first of what will likely be multiple standoffs. Angle goes with an armbar so Eddie picks the ankle for the break. The technical stuff continues with Angle grabbing a headlock, plus a handful of hair for a bonus. Back up and Eddie grabs a headlock but this time grabs the singlet to match the cheating move for move.

Angle isn’t happy so Eddie grabs it again to start setting in the frustration. He is however smart enough to take the singlet down, causing Cole to dub this a chess match. Tazz: “You take your clothes off when you play chess?” Angle gets his singlet pulled down and it’s time to take a breather as Eddie lays across the top rope. Back in and Eddie dances a bit before grabbing a waistlock, only to have Angle get in a clandestine low blow to take over. Eddie kicks him low right back, earning himself a DQ for the first fall.

We take a break and come back with Angle getting two off a suplex. Angle slaps on the waistlock until Eddie suplexes his way to freedom. You don’t suplex with Angle though as a belly to belly takes Eddie right back down for two. The chinlock goes on (with Angle ripping at the face like a villain should) for a bit before Angle rolls the German suplexes. The Angle Slam is loaded up but Eddie reverses into a rollup to tie things up in a hurry.

We take another break and come back with Eddie caught in another waistlock. Eddie snaps up and hits a hurricanrana but can’t follow up. Angle’s right hand just fires Eddie up and the comeback is on. The first Amigo is countered into a German suplex but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT. Eddie goes up for the frog splash and of course it’s Angle running the corner for the belly to belly superplex.

Yet another German suplex is countered into a roll into the buckle, allowing Eddie to hit Three Amigos this time around. Cue Luther Reigns to distract Eddie from the frog splash though, allowing Angle to roll out of the way. Another Angle Slam sets up the ankle lock (first time in the match), which Eddie rolls through into a ref bump. Instead of doing the smart thing though, Eddie dives onto Reigns and grabs a chair.

Some weak shots abound, setting up Eddie laying down and throwing the chair to Angle. Naturally the referee sees it and yells as Eddie lays on his side and waves before dropping back down. That’s such an easy joke but Eddie makes it work. The referee keeps yelling so Reigns chairs Eddie in the knee, setting up the ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. It’s good and something close to a greatest hits collection, but it really didn’t hit the top gear that you might have expected. The match wasn’t quite a classic but what we got was very good. It looked rather crisp and it was so nice to have Angle hold out on the ankle lock until the end. Thirty minutes at this level is nothing to sneeze at and Eddie even has a door open for one more match if necessary. It’s a fitting end to the feud as they called back to previous matches and had a good match of their own right here.

Post match Reigns lays Eddie out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event is certainly good, but the rest of the show was a great example of how boring things can be around here right now. The tag division in particular looked awful and there isn’t much aside from Eddie vs. Angle and Booker vs. Cena, which isn’t enough to carry the show week to week. It’s enough this week, but I don’t think they can count on thirty minutes from Angle and Eddie every single time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: August 26, 2004
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ll wrap up the Smackdown half of the month here and that’s not the worst thing in the world. The big match this week will see john Cena face Booker T. in the second match in the best of five series for the US Title. Other than that we have the very injured JBL running from the Undertaker and Eddie Guerrero wanting one more match with Kurt Angle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey Mysterio saving Eddie Guerrero from Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns, setting up last week’s tag match main event. Angle pouring paint on the low rider to end the show was a great touch.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie to get things going. Last week, Angle defaced his personal property so this week, Eddie is going to deface him. That means Eddie wants a fight but he gets Luther Reigns instead. Reigns has seen a lot of fights in his day from prisons to bars, and he knows that Angle would annihilate him. Eddie is ready to fight anyway but Angle pops up on screen to say come to the parking lot.

The chase is on and Angle hides behind what he says is his car. Eddie pours trash on it and smashes the windows with a pipe but Reigns runs in from behind and beats him down. They get in another car and speed away, leaving Eddie to beat up the car a little more. Theodore Long comes up and says it’s his car. Eddie’s look makes up for any problems this might have had. Security takes Eddie away as Long cries over the car. Alas, no Final Fight reenactment.

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Rob Van Dam

Fallout from last week when Kenzo beat Van Dam down after a match. Before the match, Kenzo brags about Japanese cars before saying he loves America. Van Dam kicks him off the throne and starts beating up the people who carried it in. American jerk. Back in and Kenzo shoulders him down at the opening bell to take over.

The abdominal stretch goes on for a bit until Rob slips out and fires off some kicks. The top rope kick to the face gives Rob two and the split legged moonsault is good for the same as Rob finally changes up the offense a bit. It’s time for the Five Star but Rob has to dive onto an invading Rene Dupree. Not that it matters as a small package finishes Suzuki.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? It’s very clear that Suzuki is already a lost cause and while Rene is better, he’s not exactly an upgrade as a partner. Van Dam hasn’t had trouble beating either of these goons and whoever he finds as a partner shouldn’t have any issue either.

Post match Dupree and Suzuki beat Rob down and show each other respect. Yeah it’s still not interesting.

Long is still crying over his car and talking about how it was a classic and all he had. JBL and Orlando Jordan come up and yell about Long ignoring them all week. They want something done about Undertaker because this is an unsafe working environment. Long makes a title match for tonight against Undertaker but since JBL can’t wrestle, Jordan can defend it for him. So now his future depends on Orlando Jordan. Just give up now man.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie Noble and Paul London are at ringside. Kidman isn’t having this feeling out process and snaps off an early hurricanrana. Chavo gets in a few shots of his own to take over and it’s an armbar to keep him in trouble. That goes nowhere so Kidman fights up with a backdrop and a clothesline. The BK Bomb doesn’t work due to the bad arm so Kidman kicks him in the head instead. Noble breaks up the shooting star so London takes him out and kicks Chavo in the head. That’s enough for Kidman to hit the shooting star for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to get very far but the Tag Team Title match should be fun. The problem is the champs aren’t exactly lighting the world on fire and no one buys the challengers as a serious threat. There’s no division at the moment and that’s not likely to get better anytime soon.

Carlito Caribbean Cool vignette, this time showing him for the first time. The apple spit and catchphrase make their debuts as well.

Long is STILL devastated over his car when Angle and Reigns return. Angle doesn’t care about the car and gets a 2/3 falls match with Eddie next week. As for tonight, he can face Rey Mysterio. Dang Long is on fire and he makes Luther sweep up the mess as a bonus.

John Cena vs. Booker T.

Match #2 in the best of 5 series with Cena up 1-0. Booker starts fast by forearming him down and a suplex gets two. Cena is right back with an elbow of his own but Booker hits a superkick. The chinlock goes on early until Booker knees him in the back, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Another kick to the face gets another two and it’s already off to the second chinlock.

Booker switches it up to a double arm crank before getting two more off a spinebuster. This has been almost all Booker and the comeback can come anytime now. We hit another chinlock for another little while until Cena pops back to live with shoulders. The Shuffle connects for two but Booker sends him face first into the buckle. That and a backslide with feet on the ropes ties the series up.

Rating: D+. If there was a rating between D and D+, I’d go with that for this one. It was a lot of laying around in chinlocks and while it wasn’t the worst, it wasn’t thrilling. To be fair though, it’s the second of what is likely to be five matches so you can only get so annoyed at what they’re doing. Not the worst, but it felt like they were holding back/saving stuff for later. Understandable, but not really thrilling.

Match #3 will be taking place in Australia over the weekend at a house show. Good idea actually.

Paul Heyman is in the ring and introduces the new reason for his supreme confidence: Heidenreich. They get right to the point with Heidenreich saying he’s more than just hype and beating the heck out of Josh Matthews, including a shoulder breaker and a cobra clutch. Anything that involves Josh being hurt is a good thing for me.

Big Show is coming back.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

It’s worked before so this should be fine. Angle takes him down without much effort to start, which tends to be the case. Rey is back up with an armdrag and it’s time to mock Angle’s pose. You know that makes it serious but Angle charges into another headlock and the early frustration is setting in. Rey headscissors him outside for a baseball slide and we take a break. Back with Rey caught in a chinlock, as tends to be the case when you come back from a break around here. At least Angle has a knee in the back to keep things fresh.

An overhead belly to belly makes things even worse and it’s off to a bearhug, with Angle dropping to a knee to deal with the height. A release German suplex gives Angle two more so Rey pops back up with a dropkick. The 619 connects but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb for two. The Angle Slam is countered into an inverted DDT for a heck of a near fall so Rey tries a victory roll. Angle has been studying his Owen Hart though as he sits down on it for the pin.

Rating: B. Well of course these two had a good match. They’ve always had solid chemistry together and this was no exception. Angle winning clean over a guy who wrestles a similar style as Eddie Guerrero is a good way to set up next week’s 2/3 falls. It’s also not like a loss to Angle hurts Mysterio very much, especially when Mysterio isn’t doing anything at the moment anyway.

Smackdown flashback: Arnold Schwarzenegger beats up HHH.

Raw Rebound.

JBL gives Jordan a pep talk and isn’t exactly thrilled with the prospects. Jordan wants to wear the title and that’s shot down as fast as you might guess.

Smackdown World Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Undertaker

Jordan is defending in JBL’s place. He also gets to hold the title in what feels like fan fiction gone mad. Undertaker’s entrance gives us a hilarious visual of JBL, with the cowboy hat on top of the halo, turning to look and looking into the camera in the process with his eyes bugging out. Jordan tries slugging away and gets his head kicked off for two. Old School connects in a hurry and the jumping clothesline gets two. A JBL distraction lets Jordan get in his first major offense, because it’s not like he can do it himself.

Back in and some right hands stagger Jordan but Undertaker goes after JBL again. The results are the same this time around and Jordan gets two off a Downward Spiral. That just makes Undertaker sit up though and it’s time for the proper beating to begin. A right hand knocks JBL off the apron and there’s the Tombstone, but JBL pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I don’t think anyone was expecting anything other than JBL interfering for the DQ and it’s not a bad thing to go with the obvious. Jordan still isn’t anything more than a warm body who isn’t any good in the ring, but he serves a purpose here. Not a terrible match, but an exercise in killing time.

Post match Undertaker beats up JBL, ripping the braces off and hitting a chokeslam. Undertaker poses with the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It’s hard to put into words, but there’s something about Smackdown that feels so much more together than Raw. Over on Raw you get the big angles and stories and promos, but Smackdown tends to be more low key, allowing them to show things off a little bit better and let them develop. It might never get as big around here, but it also never feels as bogged down when a story is bad. You can go either way with that, but both are rather entertaining.

This was a great example of that kind of Smackdown and I had a good time with it, though it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. They’re building things up for the next few weeks and those stories sound interesting. If we can get some great action out of these stories (Eddie vs. Kurt seems like), it’s going to be easy to see Smackdown pulling ahead, though both shows are getting a little better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: August 19, 2004
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The Canadian adventure continues as JBL is still Smackdown World Champion and likely in line to continue feuding with the Undertaker. I’m sure you’re as thrilled as I am. Other than that Kurt Angle pinned Eddie Guerrero in a match that should set up a third match to settle things for good, though you never know with them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the limo to open things up with Orlando Jordan helping JBL out. This gives us one of my all time favorite visuals, with JBL wearing a halo around his neck with the cowboy hat sitting on top, above JBL’s head. The entrance takes forever as JBL can barely walk but he eventually (and very slowly) says he’s in tremendous pain. All the booing from these inferior Canadians are hurting his head but it’s ok if they want to chant JBL.

He won at Summerslam though and just like Martin Luther King, he had a dream. At his Hall of Fame induction, he wanted a clip of himself pinning Undertaker to introduce his speech. It wasn’t fair that Undertaker got himself disqualified so he didn’t have to pass the torch to JBL. We see some stills of the beatdown from Sunday (JBL: “Why are you people cheering that?”), which takes a lot of time as well.

JBL remembers seeing Undertaker’s evil face before passing out, which the fans seem to enjoy. After a quick rant about the American army protecting Canada, JBL says Undertaker will NOT be getting a rematch. This brings out Undertaker so JBL takes another minute or so to get out of the ring as he sells the heck out of those injuries. As JBL stumbles over a fan, Undertaker holds up the title because there MUST be a rematch.

It’s far better when JBL is played this way instead of bragging about everything he’s done over the years, which was just boring. This is actually entertaining and if we see more like this, he’s downright tolerable. It ran about fifteen minutes, but JBL selling his injuries made it worth the time.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Spike is defending and has Bubba and D-Von with him. Scotty starts fast with some slams into an armbar, followed by a backdrop onto the other Dudleys. D-Von gets up and offers a distraction so Bubba can break up the Worm. The top rope double stomp is blocked by a raised boot and the very quick comeback is on. Bubba has to make a save after a superkick and the Dudley Dog retains the title.

Rating: D. We’re never going to get an explanation of why Bubba and D-Von are listening to Spike are we? It’s not the most interesting story in the first place and I don’t see it getting any better. The fact that it took all three to deal with Scotty 2 Hotty should tell you everything you need to know about the legs this story has.

Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming.

Raw Rebound.

As the announcers talk, two guys come up with a HEIDENREICH NEXT WEEK banner.

John Cena (in a Wrestlemania inspired Word Life shirt) promises to go up 2-0 on Booker T. next week. Spike Dudley comes in and doesn’t like the idea of Cena calling himself a champ. Cena says it looks like Dennis the Menace finally grew up. Now Spike needs some glasses though because he can’t see Cena. Bubba and D-Von come in for the beatdown.

Billy Kidman/Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero/Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble and London start things off with Paul’s front facelock not getting him very far. London gets thrown to the apron but slingshots back in with a headscissors, only to get his head clotheslined off. It’s off to Chavo for a front facelock of his own as the villains take over. Chavo hits a slingshot legdrop for two but London gets to his feet for a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Kidman so house can really be cleaned. Everything breaks down and it’s a BK Bomb to Chavo, followed by a sunset flip but Jamie pulls Chavo on top. A grab of the rope is enough for the pin on Kidman.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, though I’m not sure on having the Tag Team Champions lose on Sunday and then lose again on Thursday. They aren’t the strongest champions in the world in the first place and it doesn’t seem like a great idea to have them lose twice in a row like this. Noble and Guerrero aren’t winning the titles so did you really need to do this on two straight shows?

Teddy Long sends Brian Hebner to tell John Cena that he’ll be facing a Dudley later tonight.

Here’s a disappointed Eddie Guerrero for a chat. He calls Kurt Angle out because we haven’t really determined the better man. This brings out Angle, who thinks Eddie is nuts for wanting to do this again. Angle is looking for action though and Eddie likes that idea, but Angle says no. Eddie says they’ve done this twice and are 1-1, so we need a rubber match. It’s true that Angle outwrestled him and no one has ever done it to him like that in his career.

Eddie wants Angle to shake his hand but Angle doesn’t buy it. Some persuasion gets Angle inside and Eddie says he’s telling the truth…..before punching him in the face. Luther Reigns comes out for the save until Rey Mysterio runs out to even things up. Eddie lying after convincing Angle that he’s telling the truth still works. It’s like Ric Flair turning on Sting back in 1995. You know exactly where it’s going but it’s still fun to watch because you want to see these people act like they’re supposed to.

John Cena vs. D-Von Dudley

Booker T. is on commentary. D-Von hammers away in the corner to start but Cena is right back with a hiptoss. They slug it out some more with D-Von elbowing him in the face for two more. A splash misses in the corner and Cena scores with a backdrop. Cena slugs away, knocks Bubba off the apron, and hits an AA (Booker: “NO! NO!”) for the fast pin.

Post match Cena says Booker has something of his, and next week they’re having the second match in their series.

Video on the debut episode of Smackdown, just shy of five years ago.

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree

Rematch from Sunday’s Heat match. They fight over a wristlock to start as the announcers talk about the wrestling history in this building. Van Dam kicks him down but misses the flip legdrop to give us a standoff. The corner shoulders and a monkey flip sends Rene down but he’s able to send Van Dam shoulder first into the post. An armbar keeps Van Dam in trouble as a pull of the hair gives Rene two.

The armbar goes on again as the announcers talk about underwater basket weaving and synchronized swimming. Rob pops up with a superkick and a bridging German suplex for two. Rolling Thunder hits raised knees and a good looking superplex keeps Van Dam’s back in trouble. Rob is fine enough to kick him in the face and hit the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here and one of Rene’s best matches to date. They kept it short and Rene’s offense, especially that superplex, looked rather sharp. Van Dam isn’t about to lose to Dupree, whose status is starting to fade fast. Rob might not be the top star in the company, but he’s still ahead of Dupree.

Post match Kenzo Suzuki comes in and lays out Van Dam. It still doesn’t make him interesting.

Theodore Long gives a tape to a production worker, followed by some holla holla holla lessons. This was oddly creepy with Long flirting with the production woman.

The $1 Million Tough Enough is coming. There’s someone involved in that and he’s awesome.

Long is in the ring and has a major announcement: he’s rehired the Big Show. As a bonus, he introduces the main event.

Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Rey dropkicks Luther to start and it’s Eddie coming in for a suplex. It’s already back to Rey, whose crossbody is countered into a backbreaker to change control in a hurry. Angle gets two off a clothesline and it’s off to a chinlock. The impatient Eddie breaks that up in a hurry so Rey snaps off a headscissors. The hot tag brings in Eddie and Angle hides in the corner like a true coward.

Angle starts in on the ankle and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Angle grabbing the ankle lock but Eddie rolls out in a hurry. Another leglock keeps Angle in control until a quick rollup gives Eddie two and a break. Reigns comes back in for a hold of his own and tags Angle after getting kicked away. That’s fine with Kurt, who cuts Eddie’s trip to the corner off with an overhead belly to belly. Eddie breaks up another suplex attempt and now it’s the hot tag to Rey so the pace can pick up.

A springboard seated senton gets two on Angle but the hurricanrana to Reigns takes bumps the referee. The 619 around the post knocks Angle silly and Reigns is knocked into position as well. Angle is back up with a chair to Rey’s knee though, sending Eddie after Angle with a chair of his own. With Angle gone, a low blow drops Reigns and it’s the Three Amigos into the 619 into the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. Eddie and Rey were always fun to see together and that was the case again here. They gel together so smoothly and that was the case here. Reigns was kept to a minimum here and that’s the right idea for a match like this. Let the three masters do their thing and have him come in for the power stuff. That’s all it should be and it worked fine here, even if the match followed a pretty simple formula.

Post match Eddie and Rey celebrate the win but here’s Angle to pour paint on the low rider. Eddie is distraught to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Other than the hilarious JBL image, there wasn’t a lot going on with this one. There was some average at best wrestling and storyline advancement that feels like we’re just heading to rematches either on television or at No Mercy. The Smackdown half of Summerslam was only so good in the first place so this isn’t the most thrilling show in the world. Not terrible, but not exactly exciting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.

Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Ratings Comparison

Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Original: C-

Redo: D

Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: F-

Redo: N/A

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Edge

Original: B

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/25/royal-rumble-count-up-2006-eddie-guerrero-puts-on-a-mask-and-wins-the-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6