Wrestlemania XIV
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

This is the first of the annual redos and it’s a show that is incredibly historic but doesn’t get the most attention. As you might remember, the main event is Steve Austin getting his shot against Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title, along with Kane vs. Undertaker for the first time ever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of Wrestlemania and how tradition has been taken hostage by a new generation. These people are here to be the top stars and fight for the same title held by Andre, Hogan and Bruno. This year is destined to become a part of the history and somewhere, the father of Wrestlemania will revel in it as well.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Faarooq/Kama Mustafa, Savio Vega/Miguel Perez Jr., Jose Estrada Jr./Jesus Castillo, Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, New Midnight Express, Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown, Quebecers, LOD 2000, Rock N Roll Express, Headbangers, Too Much, Disciples Of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwinns

For a future Tag Team Title shot and LOD 2000, with Sunny, are surprise entrants. If one member is eliminated, the entire team is gone. It’s a huge brawl to start (as it has to be) as JR tries to keep track of everyone involved. Vega is out, with Perez having to be helped to the back. Jim Cornette and Sunny argue on the floor as Kurrgan comes out to help eliminate the Truth Commission.

Cue Barry Windham (not in the match) to toss Chainz out and sure we’ll count that. Brown is eliminated and the Quebecers follow as the ring is clearing out a good bit. The Rock N Roll Express are out and Estrada/Castillo follow. The Headbangers are tossed as well, with JR wondering why Mark Henry is still in there despite his partner being tossed. Henry gets the message and leaves as Animal gets rid of Too Much.

We’re down to the Midnights, the LOD, the Disciples and the Godwinns as they didn’t waste time here. Things slow down a bit with Hawk shoulders Henry but Phineas is back up to get rid of the Disciples. Hold on though as the Disciples come back in to throw the Godwinns out, leaving us with two. Then the Godwinns get back in again and hit the LOD with their buckets. Animal is sent outside through the ropes but comes back in to make the save. Hawk hits a clothesline to get rid of Holly for the win at 8:21.

Rating: C-. This was nothing but a way for the LOD to come in with their new look and Sunny then run through some people for a win. There was almost no drama to this one and the stuff with the Godwinns seemed to be setting up something for the LOD going forward. Having the LOD come out for the return pop worked but a thirty man battle royal which took awhile to get through didn’t help.

We look at various media events to promote the show, including the DX public workout which almost went very badly due to Shawn Michaels being in quite the bad place.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Michinoku is defending and Aguila would go on to be better known as Essa Rios. Aguila snaps off a headscissors and a spinwheel kick to send Taka outside. That means a baseball slide into a top rope moonsault (which JR calls an Asai moonsault) to take Taka out again. Back in and Taka dropkicks him to the floor for a change, setting up the always great looking top rope dive to the floor.

Back in again and Aguila sends him outside again, only to have Taka go up top. That’s fine with Aguila, who runs the corner and hits a top rope armdrag. A springboard armdrag and a very spinning wristdrag have Taka on the floor again, setting up the big corkscrew dive. JR is trying to keep up with this while Lawler has more or less given up.

Taka misses a moonsault back inside and gets planted for two before being sat up top. Aguila gets knocked down but Taka’s splash hits knees, allowing Aguila to hit a middle rope hurricanrana. A missile dropkick gets Taka out of trouble though and the sit out powerbomb plants Aguila again. Taka misses a middle rope moonsault, only to dropkick him out of the air. The Michinoku Driver retains the title at 5:59.

Rating: B-. It was a total popcorn match as they were all over the place with the high spots and as a result, it was rather entertaining. That being said, this felt like someone saw the cruiserweights in WCW and decided to do their own lower level version. That’s more or less exactly what this was, which is one of the reasons the division didn’t stick. Fun match, but it could have been on any given edition on Raw.

Gennifer Flowers interviewed the Rock earlier today, and asked how he would handle the homeless situation if he was leader. Rock prefers ruler, but the reality is that if those people stay off his lawn and in their boxes, he’s happy. As for the judicial system, as long as you realize he’s the judge and jury, everything is fine. Just remember that he would be a hung jury. Finally, he’s fine with running the White House as long as the interns underneath him do their, ahem, jobs. This was basically a celebrity serving Rock up some batting practice.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

HHH, with Chyna, is defending in one of the last bits of fallout from Montreal. Hart has a bad ankle coming in and Chyna is handcuffed to Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter. Hart slugs away to start and snaps off a hurricanrana for two, only to get elbowed in the jaw for his efforts. With Hart out on the floor, Chyna tries a right hand but gets pulled back by Slaughter, meaning HHH’s cheap shot doesn’t work either.

It’s way too early for a Sharpshooter back inside and HHH grabs the facebuster to take over. The jumping knee gets two and Lawler is literally screaming at HHH to go after the ankle. A DDT gets two before it’s FINALLY time to go after the ankle. HHH goes old school (yes even back then) with the spinning toehold, followed by an elbow onto the leg. More cranking on the leg in the corner has Owen in trouble but he’s able to come back with a belly to belly.

A spinwheel kick gives Hart two and he hits the enziguri, only to hurt the bad ankle again. The hurricanrana is countered with a hard powerbomb to give HHH two more as things slow down a bit. HHH puts him up top but gets shoved away, setting up a high crossbody for two. Owen falls head first into a low blow ala Sting (always works), sending Lawler into hysterics over the referee not calling a DQ. The Sharpshooter goes on but HHH makes the ropes. With the referee distracted, Chyna throws powder in Slaughter’s eyes and hits Hart low. That and the Pedigree are enough to retain the title at 11:28.

Rating: C+. This was good enough, though it’s far from the HHH that he would later become. The ending didn’t exactly keep Owen looking strong and that was pretty much the point of the match. Slaughter was barely a factor here, but that is the summation of his time as Commissioner: a grand total of nothing and it was nice to see him go away.

Post match Chyna beats up Slaughter.

We recap Sable/Marc Mero vs. Luna Vachon/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust. In short, Sable is a star, Mero doesn’t like it, Luna and Goldust tried to do something about it and Mero came to her defense. Or the more realistic version: Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable, Sable and Sable. Er wait, putting “and” in front of her might suggest that Sable isn’t important and we can’t have that.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna Vachon/The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Goldust takes Mero into the corner to start but gets caught with a running headscissors. The women come in but Luna immediately tags back out, leaving Sable to superkick (ok not so super) Goldust. Mero comes back in and is quickly clotheslined down as Lawler wants to know why Luna won’t fight Sable.

The villains take over on Mero, who manages a boot in the corner to put Goldust down. Luna gets the tag and so does Sable, which seems rather unnecessary due to the rules. Sable cleans house in the traditional catfighting style but does throw in some kicks in the corner. A clothesline puts Luna on the floor and it’s back to Goldust, who gets sent into the steps. Back in and the TKO is countered into a DDT to give Goldust two as things slow down again.

Mero knee lifts his way to freedom and a springboard moonsault press (which BARELY rotates enough) gives him two. This time it’s Goldust going up top but getting crotched right back down. A super hurricanrana sets up the TKO for two, with Luna making the save. Sable tags herself in and covers Goldust (as the rules are all over the place here) but has to avoid Luna’s top rope splash. Sable powerbombs Luna for two before avoiding a charge against the ropes. The TKO gives Sable the pin at 9:08.

Rating: C-. I know it’s been said to death, but simply put, Sable just wasn’t very good. She was there because of how she looked in gear and she knew how to sell a shirt, but those are the high points of her talent. The other three were trying, but this was all about Sable and everyone could tell from the second the match was announced.

Tennessee Lee (better known as Robert Fuller/Colonel Robert Parker) brings out Jeff Jarrett with Gennifer Flowers, the latter of whom is guest ring announcer for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

The Rock, with the Nation of Domination, is defending. Shamrock has been wanting the title and Rock gave him one heck of a scary chair shot to the face. Rock also accidentally hit Nation leader Faarooq, which seems to bode badly for him. They start fast as JR says this is for the European Title. Shamrock kicks him in the chest to start and they go to the floor, with Rock staggering near the technical equipment.

Back in and Shamrock strikes him down again before bouncing Rock’s head against the mat. They go back outside with Rock managing a whip into the steps for a much needed breather. That sets up the not quite People’s Elbow for two but Shamrock sends him outside again. The chair is loaded up but the referee grabs it, earning him a shove from Shamrock. Rock grabs said chair for a shot to the head for a near fall as the referee is back up. Shamrock unloads on Rock and belly to belly suplexes him into the ankle lock for the tap/the title at 4:49.

Rating: C. They kept this one moving as it wasn’t even five minutes long, with Rock only getting in a few shots here and there. Shamrock ore or less mauled him, with that chair shot barely doing any damage. This almost felt like a TV match instead of some big pay per view (let alone Wrestlemania) title match, but it also made Shamrock look like a monster by running through the champ that fast.

Post match Shamrock stays on the Rock so here are the Nation and some referees. That doesn’t work at all as Shamrock beats everyone up, which is enough for the referee to reverse the decision, meaning Rock retains. Shamrock blows off some more steam by beating up Rock on the stretcher. This really doesn’t feel like a Wrestlemania title match, but it was a rather different time. Again though: Shamrock looked like a killer and that worked well.

We get the still awesome “we are real athletes” promo, with wrestlers talking about their backgrounds and the injuries they had to deal with over their careers.

We recap the New Age Outlaws defending the Tag Team Titles against Chainsaw Charlie/Cactus Jack. The Outlaws don’t like old guys and put the two of them in a dumpster for a ride off the stage. Now it’s time for the appropriate choice of a dumpster match.

Tag Team Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending in a dumpster match (same rules as a casket match). It’s a brawl to start with Cactus trying to put Dogg in the dumpster early. That’s broken up and a metal sheet to the head slows Cactus down. Cactus’ flip dive off the apron only hits dumpster (you knew that was coming) and Gunn backdrops Charlie (or Funk as JR calls him) into the dumpster.

The Outlaws slam the dumpster lids onto Cactus and Charlie’s heads as JR thinks the old guys like this a bit. Cactus blocks the slamming of the lid though and it’s time to bring out some more weapons to crank up the violence. An elbow off the apron with a cookie sheet hits Gunn and of course it’s time for the ladder. Cactus and Gunn go up, only to be sent crashing into the dumpster for the big spot.

With Cactus getting out, Charlie gets powerbombed into the dumpster, leaving the Outlaws to take Cactus up to the entrance, which doesn’t feel overly logical. They go to the back so we look at some highlights, which would feel so bizarre these days. Cactus is sent into various catering things, including big Surge and Powerade displays. Gunn gets double armed DDT’ed onto a forklift and here is Charlie to pick both Outlaws up and drop them into a dumpster. Cactus closes the lid for the win and the titles at 10:17.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly your traditional match but what mattered the most was Cactus and Charlie getting their revenge after taking a huge beating. The fans wanted to see them win the titles and that is what they got. Granted it was on the Titantron, but that is better than not getting the belts at all. It makes sense to not put the Outlaws in a more traditional match as that was never really their thing, so thankfully this was a case of playing to their strengths.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker and…yeah this is a deep one. So Paul Bearer turned on Undertaker, who wanted revenge. Eventually Bearer revealed that Undertaker had a brother named Kane, who was believed to be killed in a fire as a child. In reality, Kane was still alive and had apparently been kept hidden by Bearer for years. Then Kane appeared and wanted revenge on Undertaker, attacking every wrestler he could until Undertaker agreed to fight.

Undertaker never would, so eventually Kane put Undertaker in a casket and burned him alive (after teasing joining Undertaker in a pretty cool moment). That violates one of the most important rules in wrestling, which says “don’t tick off a giant monster who may or may not have evil powers”. This included Undertaker appearing on top of the Titantron and lighting a casket on fire, revealing a burning Kane inside for one of the most amazing things I had ever seen at 10 years old. Now it’s time for their first fight and this is huge.

Here is Pete Rose as a special guest and he is all over the Boston Red Sox fans, instantly getting every single thing about being a heel in wrestling. Rose halfway introduces Kane, who makes his full entrance….and promptly annihilates Rose with a Tombstone. This makes Kane the most popular man in Boston for at least a good thirty seconds.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane has Paul Bearer with him but Undertaker comes out with the tunnel made of torch carrying druids for one of the all time awesome entrances. They go nose to nose for an awesome visual before Undertaker starts striking away (I believe the first time he has ever attacked Kane). That’s enough to knock Kane into the corner, where he launches Undertaker in instead. Kane strikes away and puts him in the Tree of Woe to continue said striking.

Undertaker is sent outside for a second before the beating continues back inside. For some reason Undertaker tries to jump onto Kane’s shoulders, earning him a quick crash back down. Kane hits him with the steps and even Bearer gets in some cheap shots from behind. Back in and Undertaker starts running the ropes rather hard (that always looks cool), only to charge into a chokeslam, with Kane pulling him up at two.

We hit the chinlock, which is where the match grinds to a halt. Kane is a monster who has basically become a horror movie villain, but he knows how to grab a chinlock and lay on the mat for a bit? There is something that completely misses there and it kills the match dead. That’s broken up and Kane drops an elbow before grabbing another chinlock. Undertaker finally powers his way out and sends Kane outside, where the Taker Dive is sent crashing through the announcers’ table in a great visual.

Back in and the top rope clothesline gives Kane two but Undertaker is back with a Tombstone…which is reversed into one from Kane for two. That wakes the fans way back up and Undertaker starts striking away as Kane is starting to stagger. A running clothesline puts Kane down and there’s the chokeslam into a Tombstone for two on Kane. Another Tombstone gets another two, with Kane kind of twitching his shoulder for the kickout. The top rope clothesline into a third Tombstone (with a regular cover instead of the hands over the chest) finish Kane off at 16:59, though Kane kicks at about 3.1.

Rating: B-. This is a match that started and ended well, but there is a long stretch in the middle and it really hurt things. That chinlock segment and a bunch of the basic wrestling they did felt like it was out of a completely different match, which dragged things way down. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out, because the opening staredown and brawl worked, along with the last portion. Instead, it’s a rather long match that didn’t work as well as it should have.

At the same time, Undertaker winning didn’t exactly feel right, as Kane had been built up as this monster who should have been a different kind of opponent. In this situation, it would have made sense for him to win and beat Undertaker to set up some big, and much more violent, rematch. What we got was ok, but it should have been that much better.

Post match Bearer comes in to stomp on Undertaker, who fights up and hits Bearer in the face. Kane is back up and wrecks Undertaker with the chair, setting up a Tombstone onto it to leave Undertaker laying. Kane and Bearer leave, with Undertaker getting up and kind of falling out to the floor.

We get a vignette featuring various legends, who talk about how they had their day but can never do this kind of thing today. Now, they cheer for these new people. This is an all timer from the company and shows how everything has changed. Awesome indeed.

We recap Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title. Austin is on an all time roll and is ready to claim his destiny, but he has to deal with not only Shawn, but the rest of DX, including Mike Tyson, who has joined the team and is a special referee. To call this huge would be an understatement as even Eric Bischoff said “oooh, that’s pretty good.”

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin

Michaels, with HHH and Chyna, is defending and Mike Tyson is guest enforcer referee. We get the long tracking shots from the back, which are still some of the best things WWF ever did and make things feel that much bigger. The DX Band plays Shawn to the ring for something that should be cool but they don’t quite have that epic feeling.

Austin flips him off to start and gets punched in the face, which does not sit well. The chase is on outside, followed by Austin hitting him in the head on the way back in. Shawn’s attempt to escape results in his tights being pulled down before Austin backdrops him onto HHH. That doesn’t work for HHH, who whips Austin into the barricade. HHH and Chyna are ejected and things are a lot more even.

Never one to lose a chance to beat someone up, Austin sends HHH into the DX Band set, earning himself a cymbal to the head from Shawn. Back in and Austin hammers away before flipping Shawn over in the corner. An atomic drop of all things gets two and the Stun Gun gets the same. Austin knocks him off the apron and into the announcers’ table, followed by the chinlock back inside.

Shawn fights up but gets sent hard into the post. The fight heads back to the floor, where Austin is sent over the barricade and Shawn clocks him with the ring bell. Back in and Shawn slowly hammers away until Austin fights up with right hands. Shawn is sent over the top for the crash but he’s fine enough to wrap Austin’s knee around the post. They get back inside again with Shawn slowly starting in on the leg but Austin fights back up.

That’s enough for Tyson to offer a distraction though, with Shawn getting in a chop block. The Figure Four has Austin in more trouble be fore finally breaks it up. Austin fights up again and makes another comeback, with the referee getting bumped, leaving Shawn to hit a not so great forearm. There’s the nip up into into the top rope elbow and Shawn loads up the superkick. That doesn’t work as Austin ducks and grabs the Stunner, with Tyson coming in to count the pin for the title at 20:06.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches that has so many details that make things all the more interesting. While it is Austin’s big crowning moment and the start of a new era, there was only so much that could have been done because of Michaels’ injuries. It would have been interesting to see what they could have done at full strength, but the match did the one thing that it needed: Austin hitting the Stunner to win the WWF Title for the first time.

Post match the celebration is on, with JR getting in the all time line of “the Austin Era has begun.” Austin throws Tyson an Austin shirt but Shawn gets up and isn’t happy. He takes the shirt away and tries a right hand, with Tyson easily blocking it and dropping Shawn with a right hand of his own. Tyson and Austin celebrate, confetti falls and the highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. This show is rather weird in a lot of ways, as it might not be the best show in the way of quality, but it was one of the most important shows the company has ever had. First of course there is Austin, whose win took the company into an entirely new era. It’s the definition of a Wrestlemania Moment and it is still played in highlight reels decades later for a reason.

At the same time you have the focus on a much more in your face style, with stuff like the dumpster match and Kane vs. Undertaker being a weird sci-fi soap opera. The last three matches (and the Intercontinental Title to a lesser extent) felt big and that is what they were supposed to do. The first half of the show is only so good, but once this show kicks in, it kicks in hard and the company was off to the races soon after.

Ratings Comparison

Tag Team Battle Royal

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C-

Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

Original: D+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Owen Hart

Original: B-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: C+

Marc Mero/Sable vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C-

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C

New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: C+

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: B-

Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B

The match ratings are all over the place compared to the previous editions and the overall rating is the same. Yep that’s one of my reviews.

 

 

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Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

With Wrestlemania XLI in Las Vegas (or really close to it), WWE is looking back at this show in ways that have never been done before. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some new appreciation for the show, as it’s not like anyone has ever really appreciated it before. It’s a double main event, though neither match is overly exciting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the location more than anything else, with Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the side of a casino.

Host Gorilla Monsoon introduces the newest WWF broadcaster: Jim Ross, who is rather impressed by some of the Roman set. Or he hates it. You never can tell with Ross. Either way, he hypes up the double main event and it still sounds wrong to hear Ross talk about Hulk Hogan.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra, who come in on an elephant. After they do nothing (though the elephant does stand on its hind legs), Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan with some vestal virgins. Then Bobby Heenan, who was supposed to be on the sedan, comes out (backwards) on a camel. Naturally Heenan makes this work, because he can make just about anything work.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Luna Vachon, is defending after Tatanka, with Sherri (Shawn’s former manager) beat him a few times in non-title matches. Heenan says Sherri won’t be here in Tatanka’s corner. Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” They take their time to get going before Michael’s single leg doesn’t exactly work. Tatanka comes back up with a hammerlock but has to power out of a top wristlock.

A headlock takeover out of the corner gives Michaels two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a belly to back suplex. Michaels goes up but gets armdragged out of the air (cool), setting up a Flair Flip in the corner. Back in and Tatanka starts in on the arm with an armbar as commentary is thankfully right there to tell us about Michaels having a bad shoulder recently.

Michaels fights up but misses a charge into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker but Tatanka drops an elbow instead of covering (Savage is not pleased with the lack of a cover). A top rope chop hits Michaels so Tatanka goes up again, only to dive into the superkick for a sweet counter. They go outside where Michaels hits a hard clothesline off the apron, allowing him to flirt with Sherri for a bit.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some rapid fire lefts in the corner. For some reason Michaels climbs onto Tatanka’s shoulders and that’s good for an electric chair. Back up and the superkick is blocked, allowing Tatanka to fire off some chops. Even Heenan is getting on Tatanka for not covering so a high crossbody gives Tatanka two.

Michaels gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up but gets powerslammed out of the air for a big crash. They fight to the floor, where Michaels misses a dive off the apron for a nasty crash. That doesn’t work for Michaels, who pulls the referee out to break up the countout, which is a DQ at 18:23.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end as they were just trading big shots. Tatanka was staying a step or two ahead of Michaels the whole way and if Michaels wasn’t such a big deal at this point, changing the title would not have been crazy. That being said, Michaels was clearly the prospect of the future here and protecting him made sense. Good opener here, which doesn’t feel nearly that long.

Post match Tatanka celebrates but Vachon jumps Sherri, leaving Tatanka to chase her off.

The Steiner Brothers are ready to face the Headshrinkers in their first Wrestlemania.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. JR debuts the term “slobberknocker”, which has Heenan right there with the jokes. Scott armdrags Fatu to start and goes after the armbar. Fatu isn’t having that and they slug it out, which is of course fine with Scott. A clothesline turns Fatu inside out so he goes to the eyes to cut Scott off. Rick tries to cut off some double teaming but gets dropped with a single right hand in something you don’t see very often.

The Headshrinkers make the mistake of turning their backs on the Steiners, who go up top (same buckle) and come off with a double Steiner Line (that was awesome). Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri in the First Aid station as it’s off to Rick, who gets chopped down by Samu. Scott comes back in and starts slugging away but gets caught in a hot shot, which goes a bit too hard and he crashes out to the floor.

Afa BLASTS Scott with his stick and they go back inside, where Fatu hits a middle rope headbutt. Something like a bulldog puts Scott down again, as does a standing dropkick from Samu. A Demolition Decapitator (minus the rope walk) gets two but Fatu misses a top rope headbutt. It’s back to Rick, who is taken down with a double Stroke. An electric chair is loaded up but Rick powerslams Fatu out of the air (GEEZ) for two in an awesome looking counter. Scott is back in with a belly to belly but Samu snaps off a great looking superkick. Back up and a quick Frankensteiner gives Scott the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. The more I watch this match, the more I like it, as you had four big, strong guys just laying it in over and over. They were absolutely beating the fire out of each other and it’s awesome throughout. That powerslam out of the air was great and I wanted to see them stay at it. Heck of a match here and we can call this an underrated gem.

Doink is thrilled with how well his “pranks” have been received, including ripping his ‘own arm out of its socket”, because only Randy Savage got the idea of a cast. Today he’s facing Crush, who might be….seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Doink wastes no time in spraying his flower at Crush to start, earning himself a slam on the floor. Crush posts him hard and they head inside for the first time, where Doink is whipped hard into the corner. Some shots from Doink just make Crush madder and they head back inside for a jumping necksnap over the top (Savage says “love it, love it, love it” over seeing one of his old moves).

Something close to a Stunner over the top staggers Crush though and Doink adds a top rope shot to the back. That works so well that Doink adds a middle rope version, plus another top rope shot to finally put Crush down. Another posting has Crush in more trouble but he powerslams Doink out of the air for quite the crash. A running clothesline sends Doink outside and it’s time to crawl underneath the ring.

That’s broken up so Crush teases the Head Vice, but the referee gets bumped. JR: “I’m concerned about the official who is lying there motionless.” Savage: “No he’s just out cold”. The Head Vice goes on and Doink is in trouble…but here is another Doink to hit Crush in the back with the cast. Two cast shots to the head knock Crush silly and we get a double vision deal. The original Doink gets the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly great but it did have a clever ending. The original Doink was a rather interesting idea and could have gone a long way before he went on with the stupid comedy stuff. This should have told you that Crush wasn’t likely going anywhere as losing, even via a screwy finish, in this spot isn’t a good sign.

Post match another referee comes out to check under the ring for the other Doink but they can’t find him.

Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers, who like Yokozuna.

Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Backlund offers a handshake to start but gets a toothpick thrown in his face instead. Ramon shoves him into the corner without much trouble but Backlund sweeps the leg a few times and bounces back and forth like Brock Lesnar would later do. Ramon goes with the power take over as we hear about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart earlier today. Backlund shrugs it off and hits a hiptoss, followed by a missed dropkick. A butterfly suplex drops Ramon and an atomic drop does the same, only for Ramon to small package him for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This felt way out of place, as Ramon went from challenging for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble to whatever this was supposed to be. I’m not sure why this was on the card but it’s one of the more bizarre matches you will ever see at Wrestlemania. At least it was short, but egads this did not feel like it belonged on Wrestlemania.

Money Inc. doesn’t seem worried about the Mega Maniacs. We look back at Money Inc. smashing Brutus Beefcake’s face with their briefcase, which got Jimmy Hart on Beefcake’s side. It also brought Hulk Hogan back to the WWF, but Money Inc. still isn’t worried.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

The Maniacs, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging and Hogan is sporting a REALLY nasty black eye (apparently from a Jetski accident but also possibly due to a backstage fight with Randy Savage, depending on which story you believe). The villains try to jump the Maniacs before the bell and are cleared out while Hogan’s music is still playing. Money Inc. is chased to the floor again and we finally start with Beefcake and IRS.

Beefcake gets taken into the wrong corner for some chops and DiBiase comes in for an elbow to the (masked) face. For some reason DiBiase goes for a shot to the face and hurts his own hand, setting up a double noggin knocker to bring us back to the 80s. DiBiase’s ram into the buckle has no effect either and Beefcake sends him into the corner over and over for some more success.

Hogan comes in for a few shots but it’s already back to Beefcake for the stomping. Hogan’s middle rope ax handle connects and DiBiase is sent outside. A poke to the eye cuts IRS off and Hogan sends him outside like a hero should be doing. Money Inc. teases leaving but are threatened with losing the titles if they don’t get back in. That means an eight count, sending Heenan into a rant about the rules being made up as they go.

Back in and DiBiase takes over on Hogan, with the champs getting in a variety of choking on the ropes. We hit the Million Dollar Dream and Hogan stays in it so long that he should be legally dead. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafters! But they don’t have rafters in the Roman Coliseum. What they have are columns and they’re hanging from them!” Hogan fights up so Beefcake comes in (no tag) and puts the sleeper on DiBiase, leaving him out cold as well. They both beat the ten count and Beefcake comes back in to clean house, only for DiBiase to hit him in the back with the briefcase.

DiBiase finally goes after the mask and gets it off, meaning Beefcake’s face is sent into a raised boot in the corner. Beefcake fights up and drops IRS but the referee gets bumped. The double tag (unseen by the referee) brings in Hogan and DiBiase with the former slugging away.

The big boot hits DiBiase and Beefcake hits IRS with the mask. We get a double cover so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out (it has black and white stripes) to count the double pin. Ever the morons, Hogan and Beefcake celebrate with the titles (Hogan slips on the ropes) and even Savage doesn’t think this makes sense. Another referee comes out to disqualify the Maniacs at 18:28.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what makes good guys in wrestling so dumb but my goodness this was stupid even by wrestlers’ standards. It might have come after being so bored by the match, which was just WAY too long and nothing worth seeing. Hogan being in a tag team doesn’t feel important in the slightest and Beefcake felt like a relic of the past here. Just dull stuff here and a pretty lame flop of a match.

Post match the Maniacs are annoyed at the other referee for calling the DQ and Hart throws him over the top. Hogan gets to pose while Beefcake and Hart stand around, leaving him to open the briefcase and find….a brick. And money. One of which is given to the fans. Well gee I wonder why they’re cheering Hogan here.

Singer Natalie Cole has absolutely nothing to say but the CEO of Caesars Palace is a bit happier to have the WWF here.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger and his bionic forearm. Luger calls himself a knockout artist and beyond perfection but Perfect has been hot at the tables this week. He’s ready to go deal with….the Lexissus? Perfect almost cracks up at his flub and says he’s going to go do it.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger has some rather scantily clad women with him and Savage seems interested. JR: “I’ve been to at least a dozen rodeos in Oklahoma and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that.” Heenan: “OF COURSE NOT!” The women hold up the mirrors and we’re officially ready to go. They take their time to start until Perfect hits a nice running knee lift. A shoulder puts Luger down and a running dropkick does it again, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor.

Back in and Luger slowly hammers away but Perfect takes him down and gets in the Robinsdale Crunch. The leg gets cranked on for a bit but Luger gets up and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. A backbreaker keeps Perfect down and a cradle with feet on the ropes gets two.

Luger hits a powerslam for two but Perfect’s sunset flip gets the same. Perfect catapults him head first into the buckle and slowly hammers away for two. A not so perfect missile dropkick gives Perfect two and they fight over a backslide, with Perfect’s feet touching the ropes, though the referee doesn’t see it, to give Luger the cheap pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Perfect being his usual athletic self but Luger was basically in slow motion. The Narcissist stuff never worked and that was on full display again. Perfect was doing his thing and I still really like him as a good guy, but there is only so much you can do with this kind of a situation.

Post match Perfect is furious and Luger knocks him out with the big forearm. This was possibly the long form setup for Perfect screwing Luger over the next year, which is a heck of a story if that is where they were going. Luger leaves so Perfect goes after him, shoving away Shawn Michaels in the process. Michaels jumps Perfect from behind and beats him down, setting up their Summerslam feud.

Heenan laughs about what happened to Perfect, which has Savage on his feet in anger for some reason.

Gorilla Monsoon hypes up the two remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. If that’s not enough, Undertaker comes to the ring in a funeral chariot with a vulture, because he’s that kind of awesome. They do the big staredown and Undertaker barely comes up to Gonzalez’s nose. Gonzalez shoves him down and chokes away, with Undertaker having to go to the middle rope to choke back. A low blow cuts Undertaker off but he’s right back with Old School.

Gonzalez gets in a beal to send him flying and we hit a standing chinlock. Undertaker finally fights up but gets sent outside so Gonzalez can slowly hammer away. The steps crush Undertaker again but he gets back inside, where a headbutt puts him down again. Undertaker strikes away and goes after Wippleman, who throws in a rag. Gonzalez uses said rag, which is apparently covered in ether, to knock Undertaker out for the DQ at 7:36.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was every bit as bad as you could imagine. At the end of the day, Gonzalez could not do anything in the ring to back up his presence. It’s amazing to see someone that size, but it only gets you so far when you can’t do ANYTHING once the bell rings. Throw in a stupid ending to protect Gonzalez and this was an all time terrible Wrestlemania match.

Post match Undertaker is taken out on a stretcher, with Savage implying that undertaker is dead (which….yeah kind of the point). Undertaker leaves so the fans chant for Hogan, which draws Undertaker back out to clear the ring. Cops come out to take Gonzalez away.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, which is all about Yokozuna being a total monster. Yokozuna has crushed a bunch of people with the Banzai Drop, including Hart, who did get up, though that’s not shown here due to reasons. Naturally this means we talk to Hulk Hogan, who has been firing Hart up. You really should be able to see it coming from here. Last night, some people attacked him at the gym but that’s not what matters right now. Hart is a Hulkamaniac but Hogan wants the first shot at either Hart or the (deleted Japanese slur). And that’s that.

Todd Pettingill meets some annoying fans.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging. They stare each other down to start until Hart hits a running dropkick. Some right hands in the corner don’t have much impact and Yokozuna runs him over to the floor without much trouble. Hart gets smart by tripping him down and getting the big leg tied in the ropes. Some right hands and a middle rope elbow have Yokozuna in more trouble but he’s able to get out.

One heck of a clothesline puts Hart down, setting up the big legdrop as the pace slows. A nerve hold has Hart down again but he fights up and gets a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog puts Yokozuna down for two but he’s right back with a superkick. The nerve hold goes on again but Hart avoids a splash. The Sharpshooter actually goes on (and it’s not a bad one either), only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna gets the pin and the title at 8:57.

Rating: D+. This is a similar story to the Gonzalez match, but Yokozuna is FAR better than Gonzalez could ever hope to be. That being said, Hart was still limited in what he could do, but some of the ways he was outsmarting Yokozuna did work. It’s far from a terrible match, though it’s certainly not worth a look outside of the title change.

Post match Hulk Hogan is IMMEDIATELY out there to check on Hart, prompting Fuji to issue the challenge for a title shot RIGHT NOW in an all time dumb move. Hart gives Hogan his blessing and yes we’re on.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Hogan is challenging and gets jumped at the start, so Fuji throws more salt, only to hit Yokozuna. The freedom loving referee is fine with this, allowing Hogan to hit a clothesline and drop the leg to win the title at 22 seconds.

Hogan celebrates to end the show as Heenan is losing his mind.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show deserves a lot of its reputation. There are all kinds of issues here, and one that doesn’t get addressed enough is the Roman Coliseum deal. It feels like some goofy fun idea and that doesn’t mesh with the biggest show of the year. Do this for something like Summerslam, but don’t try to make Wrestlemania into a themed show.

That’s on top of ALL the other problems, including some pretty dreadful matches and almost nothing that feels Wrestlemania worthy. Hogan coming in to steal the title and make Hart the afterthought of afterthoughts didn’t help either. This show somehow lives down to its terrible reputation and even the awesomeness that is the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers (easily the match of the night) can’t bring it up to even ok.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

It’s interesting that Hart vs. Yokozuna has been the same for all four versions but the show just is not very good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE Vault Grab Bag IV
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, Abraham Washington, Byron Saxton, Brett DiBiase, Matt Martlaro, Jim Ross, Chris Russo

This has become one of my favorite things to do lately as I’ll be looking at a totally random collection of matches from the WWE (or possibly WCW) Vault YouTube channels. You never know what they’re going to drop and it could be something even I’ve never seen before. We’ll be looking at another eleven matches here so let’s get to it.

From WCCW in Dallas, Texas, February 26, 1983.

Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

Lumberjack match. Hayes bails to the floor to start, which isn’t the most logical way to go in this kind of a match. Kerry and Gordy start things off and trade some fists until it’s quickly off to Hayes for the strutting. Hayes sends him into the buckle but gets punched down for two, meaning it’s off to David vs. Gordy.

David takes over rather quickly and hands it off to Kevin for the nice barefoot dropkick but Gordy sends him into the corner. Roberts comes in to choke on the rope and a pull of the trunks keeps David in trouble. A knee drop gets two and it’s back to Gordy to drive him into the corner. David gets a foot up to cut him off and it’s back to Kerry for the big hot comeback.

A snapmare into a knee drop has Gordy rocked but Roberts is right back in. Kerry gets dropped into a hammerlock and Hayes snaps the arm over the top rope. Hayes gets two off a hammerlock backbreaker and Kerry is sent outside where the lumberjacks…throw him back in without getting violent. Kerry manages the tag off to David and everything breaks down. Kerry and Roberts fight to the floor, leaving Hayes to come off the ropes with an ax handle. Kevin breaks up the cover though and David pins Gordy at 11:41.

Rating: B-. As usual, the match itself was only ok, but what mattered the most here was the crowd’s reaction. Make no mistake about it: nothing came close to getting this much heat in wrestling at this point, which is why WCCW is so fondly remembered to this day. It was the hottest feud in wrestling and that was the case for a very long time. Not great, but very entertaining.

Post match the Freebirds are ticked off before leaving. The Von Erichs thank the fans and want the World Title.

From Evansville, Indiana, February 3, 1998 in a dark match before Raw.

One Man Gang vs. Flanagan

The Gang gets quite the nostalgia pop and is a good bit slimmer than he was back in the day. Gang jumps him to start and chokes with a jacket before hammering away in the corner. Flanagan (Flash Flanagan, a longtime OVW star) comes back with a missile dropkick for one and some clotheslines, only to charge into a side slam. Gang splashes him in the corner but Flanagan is back with the usual assortment of strikes. Flanagan charges into a boot in the corner though and a huge clothesline puts him down again. The 747 finishes Flanagan off at 6:10.

Rating: C-. Oddly enough, the Gang didn’t look terrible here. He was out there doing his thing and looked decent doing it. The match wasn’t particularly good of course as Gang wasn’t great on his best day, but this was far from Earthquake’s disaster of an out of nowhere dark match. The other interesting thing is that Gang was only thirty seven here. It absolutely would not have been insane for him to still be going for a few more years so this was definitely worth a shot.

From New York City, New York, September 23, 1985.

Andre The Giant vs. King Kong Bundy

Yes this is the Colossal Jostle, which is a takeoff of Colossal Tussle, which was the planned name for the show that would eventually be dubbed Wrestlemania. Lou Albano and Jimmy Hart are here too. Andre powers him into the corner for the choke to start, with Bundy bailing out to the floor. Back in and Bundy hammers away in the corner but gets dropped with a quick headbutt. Bundy kicks him in the chest and boots him out to the floor for a change. Back in and Andre grabs an armbar and cranks away. Then he cranks some more.

Then they go to the mat with the cranking continues. We’ve been in this same hold for over three minutes now and there is just nothing happening. Wait, they turned over and rolled into the middle of the ring. Bundy FINALLY gets out of it after about four minutes and is headbutted outside for a heck of a bump. Back in and Andre wins a slugout before…well they might be loading up a tango. Bundy knocks him into the corner for more choking on the ropes but Andre cuts off a charge with a raised boot. Andre sits on Bundy’s chest but Big John Studd runs in for the DQ at 13:52.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness no. This was one of those matches where they were trying at the start and they could have done better if it was, say, eight minutes shorter. Having Andre work on the arm for almost a third of the match was quite the choice and it was hardly worth watching. They started fast and it was fun for a few minutes, but then reality set in and it got bad in a hurry.

Post match Andre rolls outside and grabs a chair, which he breaks over a table and chases the monsters off. Given that a ticked off Andre was a terrifying sight, I can’t blame them.

From WWC in Caguas, Puerto Rico, August 6, 1993.

Madusa vs. Luna Vachon

I believe that’s the date, as these two fought a few times in Puerto Rico around this time. They go to the mat to start with Vachon working on a hammerlock but getting reversed into a headscissors. That’s broken up and they head outside, with Madusa being sent (a long way) over the barricade.

Back in and Madusa grabs a slam but gets pulled into a nerve hold to put her back down. Madusa fights up and slaps her in the face a few times, setting up a chinlock. Vachon reverses into one of her own but that’s broken up as well, with Madusa grabbing a superplex for two. Back up and the missile dropkick misses for Madusa, allowing Vachon to get the quick pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. Not exactly great stuff here, but women’s wrestling in 1993 was a very different universe. You could see the talent in there though and they were absolutely trying. It would have been nice to see things had they done this years later, but for now it’s certainly an interesting look at a rather different wrestling universe.

From New York City, New York, July 7, 2017.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Styles is challenging at a house show. Owens stalls a lot before the bell and we’re clipped to more stalling, though the bell singes to have rang. The threat of a wristlock sends Owens bailing to the floor, with Styles following him out. Back in and Owens hammers away but his ram into the corner is blocked. Styles sends him into the buckle instead and they go outside, with Owens being sent crashing down.

Back in and the Phenomenal Forearm misses, allowing Owens to score with the superkick. Some right hands in the corner let Owens load up the Cannonball but Styles rolls outside, leaving Owens to chill on the top rope instead. A clothesline gives Owens two and we hit the chinlock.

We’re clipped to Styles getting pulled back down into the chinlock but he fights up again. A jumping enziguri puts Owens down as well and Styles hits the seated forearm. The belly to back faceplant gives Styles two but Owens bails from the threat of the Styles Clash. Instead Styles goes with the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two and they’re both down again. Another superkick gives Owens two but the Swanton hits raised knees. The Styles Clash gives Styles two and the Phenomenal Forearm connects to give Styles the pin and the title at 13:04 shown.

Rating: B. It’s no surprise that these two had solid chemistry together, but it’s also fascinating to see something like this happen at a house show. That really wasn’t the case most of the time but as usual, the Garden was just different. They had a good match, and Styles winning the title (even though he wouldn’t hold it long) is an easy way to go as Styles can make just about anything work.

Styles gets to celebrate for a long time and spends some time with the fans on the way out for a good moment.

From FCW in 2010/11. This is a bit different as it’s a look back at an entire rivalry with a few matches.

 

Queen Of FCW/Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Naomi Knight

From FCW TV, August 29, 2010. Winner take all and that would be the FCW Divas Title, not the main roster version. There are a bunch of Divas watching at ringside too. Lee shoulders her down to start but runs into the Rear View. A backslide with the splits gives Naomi two as commentary is having WAY too much fun looking at these two. Lee flips her over and hits a running knee for two but Naomi blocks a headscissors on the floor. They crash out to the floor and slug it out until it’s a double countout at 2:31.

AJ Lee vs. Naomi Knight

From FCW TV, September 29, 2010 and a non-title lumberjill match. Naomi grabs a headlock to start but gets kicked to the floor, where she is rather aggressively thrown back inside. Lee grabs the chinlock but Naomi sends her outside, where the lumberjills throw her back inside as well. Washington: “That kind of turns me on.” Sweet goodness this guy is insufferable. Back in and a Rear View drops Lee again but she’s right back with a tornado DDT for two. Lee goes up but gets leg lariated out of the air to give Naomi the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. Not much to see here, but this was a VERY different time for women’s wrestling. These two weren’t exactly given much time (as we’re at less than six minutes over two matches) and while it seems there is a story, it definitely feels like FCW saying “here’s a women’s match”. You need a bit more than that, though this was on the higher level of women’s wrestling at this point.

Divas Title: Naomi Knight vs. AJ Lee

From FCW TV, January 23, 2011 and Naomi is defending. Lee takes over to start and sends Naomi outside. Back in and Lee grabs a chinlock but Naomi fights up without much trouble. A spinning kick to the head gives Naomi two but a slingshot rollup is broken up. Lee knees her in the face for two, followed by the yet to be named Black Widow. That’s reversed into a backbreaker for two more but Lee is back up with a standing Sliced Bread #2 for the pin and title at 5:04.

Rating: C. This got a bit more time and that did help, but there is still only so much to get from this kind of a match. At least they were able to fit in a bit more with Lee evening the series. They’re also getting the chance to showcase their talents more each time and that was a great thing to see, as it was basically a preview of the coming years.

Divas Title: Naomi Knight vs. AJ Lee

From FCW TV, March 13, 2011 and Lee is defending. Lee takes her down into an early Fujiwara armbar. The Rear View connects but Naomi misses a big crossbody into the ropes for a heck of a crash. Lee is right back on the arm but Naomi kicks her down again. Naomi fires off more kicks, only to get kicked down out of the corner. The standing Sliced Bread #2 finishes for Lee at 1:34. Well that was pretty definitive.

From Portland, Maine, July 21, 1992. This is a dark match from a TV taping (they taped shows for different series that day), including the first ever WWF ladder match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels.

Undertaker/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Berzerker

Holy Lethal Lottery match! Paul Bearer, Mr. Perfect and Mr. Fuji are here too and this actually aired on a German WWF show later in the year (plus on a Randy Savage Unreleased DVD). We get the big staredown to start until Savage (the WWF Champion) grabs the mic for an OH YEAH. Savage and Flair start things off as we’re over two minutes in with no contact yet.

Flair does the hand slap and then slicks back his hair, meaning it’s finally time to lock up with about two and a half minutes burned off. Savage’s headlock is quickly reversed but he’s right back with a hammerlock. Flair bails to the rope so Savage slaps him in the face to make it more serious. Another slap has Flair down on one knee, with Perfect not exactly happy with any of this.

Flair does a rare leapfrog before getting dropped with a clothesline, meaning it’s off to Undertaker. The forearms and chops in the corner have as much effect as you would expect so Undertaker hits a gorilla press (and seems to stumble a bit as he slams Flair down). It’s off to Berzerker, who gets choked into the corner but knocks Undertaker outside. That’s fine with Undertaker of course, who sends Berzerler’s hands into the steps for some rather hilarious staggering selling.

Back in and Savage’s top rope ax handle gets two but Berzerker tosses him into the corner to take over. Flair comes in for a running chop and we hit the chinlock. Savage is tossed outside for a cheap shot from Perfect and Berzerker gets to toss him outside as well. The ring mats are pulled up and Savage gets caught underneath them for a bit of a weird spot. Back in and Savage gets tied up in the ropes but gets out and crawls over to Undertaker for the big tag. We don’t waste time as it’s a Tombstone to Berzerker, a clothesline to Flair and the big elbow to pin Berzerker at 13:37.

Rating: B-. Oh of course this was fun. There was pretty much no way that they weren’t going to have a good time out there, as it was the always effective idea of combining two feuds into one. I had a good time with this and it’s the kind of rarely seen match that is worth looking at all these years later. Come on. Savage and Berzerker? Undertaker and Flair? What’s not to like?

From Hartford, Connecticut, August 27, 1986, a dark match from a Wrestling Challenge taping.

Hulk Hogan/Junkyard Dog vs. Paul Orndorff/Adrian Adonis

Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Hart and Bob Orton are here too as Lord Alfred Hayes is ring announcer, which oddly works. Orndorff charges at Hogan and hammers away to start but Hogan fights back with right hands of his own. Hogan clears the ring of all the villains, both the legal and illegal ones, before hitting a jumping knee of all things to Orndorff. They fight out the floor with Hogan hammering away even more, followed by Dog coming in for right hands of his own.

The all fours headbutts have the villains down again and the crowd is going insane for all of this. There’s a bunch of trash thrown in and we settle down to Dog vs. Adonis (which thankfully allows Orndorff to fix his trunks, which were riding up). Dog wastes no time in sending Adonis outside, where Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. Hogan isn’t having that but gets choked by some kind of a belt to put him down again. Back in and Dog headbutts Adonis, who flips around in quite the bump.

A double clothesline drops Adonis again but he’s able to come back with the sleeper. With Dog down, Orndorff adds a top rope fist drop and draws Hogan in like a moron. The chinlock goes on but Dog fights up and a double right hand puts both of them down again. Adonis is right there to cut off the tag though and a jumping elbow hits Dog. That doesn’t do much good though as Dog is up for the tag to Hogan a few seconds later, meaning right hands can come flying. Everything breaks down and Hart’s interference doesn’t work. Instead it’s the big leg to finish Adonis at 9:18.

Rating: B-. More entertaining stuff here, with Hogan of course being over like free beer in a frat house. You could pretty much put anyone with him and have them feel like a huge star, with the Dog already being a big deal on his own. That’s a pretty good situation to have and it worked again here. At the same time, Orndorff was absolutely white hot at this point and the best villain going, with Adonis being more than able to hang in there with anyone. Fun match.

Post match, a lot of posing ensues.

From the NXT pilot at Full Sail University in Winter Park, Florida, December 7, 2011.

Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus/Daniel Bryan

Rhodes is the Intercontinental Champion and says tonight they have defied time because this is tomorrow’s superstars today. This makes you wonder what happens if tomorrow never comes, so what about the current champions? Rhodes asks the people if they know who he is, because he may be the ugly duckling of the Legacy but he is the future of the WWE. He’s ready to define Daniel Bryan but here is Bryan (with banged up ribs and his Money In The Bank briefcase) to cut him off.

With Rhodes’ future wife Eden Stiles out of the way, we’re ready to go. Rhodes shoulders Bryan down to start but gets kicked in the chest for his efforts. That earns Bryan an elbow to the bad ribs, allowing McIntyre to come in and stay on those ribs. Sheamus comes in and gets knocked into the corner by McIntyre. That doesn’t last long as McIntyre is knocked to the apron for the ten forearms. Rhodes is sent outside as well and Bryan adds a running knee from the apron.

We take a break and come back with Bryan giving McIntyre a dragon screw legwhip but McIntyre goes to the ropes to save himself. Back in and Rhodes goes after the ribs, only to get pulled into a surfboard. Rhodes gets rolled up for two and rolls outside, going all the way into the crowd. Sheamus comes in and unloads with forearms to Rhodes’ back, followed by a forearm to knock Rhodes out of the air. McIntyre gets a blind tag and boots Sheamus in the face for two as we take another break.

We come back with Rhodes’ front chancery setting up McIntyre’s suplex for two on Sheamus. It’s back to Rhodes to stomp away in the corner as JR says that Rhodes has the X factor and will be WWE Champion one day. Fair enough actually. Sheamus picks Rhodes up for a toss and it’s back to Bryan to back up the pace, including the running dropkick in the corner. The Swan Dive misses though and Bryan is sent outside for a drop onto the barricade.

Bryan is thrown back in for an abdominal stretch from Rhodes, which includes an elbow to the ribs. McIntyre’s gutbuster gets two and the abdominal stretch goes on again. This time it’s broken up with a hiptoss and they hit stereo crossbodies. Bryan slides through McIntyre’s legs and it’s back to Sheamus for the powerhouse comeback. The Irish Curse gets two on McIntyre with Rhodes making the save as everything breaks down. The Brogue Kick finishes McIntyre at 25:27.

Rating: B. The time helped here as they were able to tell a lot more of a story, which is always appreciated. At the same time, this is a situation where you have four talented wrestlers who were given the chance of showcasing their skills, which was a big deal on this kind of a show. I got into this one and it was indeed worth a look.

Overall Rating: C+. This started slowly but ended well and that made things good enough. The good thing here is that there was a wide variety of matches, which granted is always the high point of these things. It’s another great mixture of what you can see from the Vault and I had fun with it again, which hopefully continues for a very long time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

As much as last year’s show was a necessary evil, this show is just evil in general. The company is firing on all cylinders right now but it’s much more about drama than anything else. Mankind won the world title in a shocker 20 days before this, beating the Rock in an impromptu match on Raw. Tonight is the rematch in an I Quit match, which is the only match Mankind knows he can’t lose to Rock. It turns out to be one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Also the Rumble is nothing but a backdrop for Austin vs. Vince, which isn’t a good thing either. Let’s get to it.

Luckily for me, I’ve been reviewing the Raw’s leading up to this show, so the stories will actually be fresh in my mind for a change.

This version opens with some interviews by guys in the Rumble, talking about how the bounty on Austin (Vince has offered $100,000 to whoever knocks Austin out) has them extra fired up. Chyna getting #30 is also discussed.

Opening video is what you would expect. Also the theme song for this show is No Chance, which would become Vince’s theme song after tonight. The idea is that Austin is #1 in the Rumble and Vince is #2, meaning if Austin wants to go to Wrestlemania, he has to run the gauntlet.

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Roadie is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title and a regular match. Dang it I forgot Boss Man is a tag champion here so I can’t call one of them a champion. Boss Man runs the ropes to start so Roadie tells him to suck it. The fans get on Boss Man so he shoves Road Dogg into the corner and pounds away. The Big guy misses a splash in the corner and Dogg pounds away. The announcers ask a very good question: why isn’t this for the title? Vince could make it for the title if he wanted, but instead he makes it non-title? Why?

Anyway, Road Dogg crotches Boss Man on the post to take over but gets knocked to the floor by an elbow. Back in and Boss Man pounds away but Dogg steps on his foot to escape. That lasts for about five seconds as Boss Man kicks him in the face to take over again. We hit the bearhug and Boss Man thrusts his hips into Dogg’s crotch. There’s an image I certainly didn’t need.

Dogg bites his way out of the hold but gets kneed right back down. The buckle pad is taken off and Boss Man gets two off a spinebuster. Boss Man wins a brief slugout and chokes away again. Lawler cheers for Boss Man but Dogg grabs a sleeper to get himself a breather. Boss Man goes up for some reason and is slammed down almost immediately. Dogg comes back with his usual and gets two off the shaky knee, but the Boss Man Slam ends this out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Meh. That’s the only word that came to my head after watching this. At the end of the day, when the Outlaws play things seriously, they get pretty dull. Boss Man was fine in this role and he played it as he always did, but that doesn’t mean he should be having twelve minute matches with the Road Dogg. Not a bad match at all, but I don’t quite get why it existed.

We get a quick recap of Billy Gunn vs. Shamrock. Gunn hit on Ryan Shamrock (Ken’s sister) and Ken snapped, giving Billy a title shot for some reason as a result.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock

Surprisingly enough Gunn is the aggressor to start but Ken is a bit of a better ground fighter, giving himself control. Billy comes back with a clothesline on the double (tag/IC) champion as things slow down. A suplex gets two for Gunn but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing Ken to fire off some kicks. Ken fires off more kicks to the chest and back of Gunn and gets two off a spinwheel kick.

Billy comes back out of nowhere with the yet to be named Fameasser to buy himself a breather. He pounds away in the corner but Shamrock dumps him to the floor before pounding Billy into the barricade. The beating continues as Gunn is sent into a chair to keep Shamrock in control. They fight to the apron where Gunn makes a quick comeback, hitting a kind of Stroke into the announce table.

Back in and Shamrock goes right for the knee to take over. No ankle lock yet though as Ken busts out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things. Well if nothing else he has good taste in leg moves. For those of you younger people, it’s basically Shamrock wrapping his legs around Billy’s leg and crushing it between his own knees/legs. A HARD kick to the head puts Billy down again and we hear about Billy’s bad ankle from Raw. Not that he has tape on it or has been limping for the first ten minutes of the match or anything, but apparently he has a bad ankle.

Billy comes back with a clothesline but the referee is bumped. Cue Val Venis who also has issues with Shamrock to DDT the champion, giving Billy a two count. Gunn pounds away but goes up (with a bad ankle because he’s an idiot) and crashes on the ankle. Ankle lock and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Too long here and the Venis thing didn’t change anything at all. Billy’s ankle injury was pretty stupid because you didn’t really need the stuff from Raw to set up what happened here. Shamrock got a solid midcard push around this time and even had some cups of upper midcard coffee (only $5.95 at Starbucks!). The Corporation and DX would keep feuding for a few more months.

Shane fires Vince up in the back.

European Title: Gangrel vs. X-Pac

The vampire is challenging. This is another of those matches that is there so they can have another title match on the card, meaning there’s no story that I can think of. Road Dogg might have gotten a blood bath recently but that’s about it. They hit the ropes very quickly to start with Pac grabbing an armdrag to take over. Gangrel grabs a headlock but they speed things up almost immediately again.

Pac hits a quick legdrop but misses a kick in the corner to shift momentum again. We hit the chinlock to give the guys an earned breather. The champ fights up and gets thrown into the air for two. Gangrel misses a top rope elbow and Pac gets two off his jumping clothesline. A big spinwheel kick takes Gangrel down again and X-Pac hits the Bronco Buster.

The third spinwheel kick in about four minutes takes Gangrel down, but Pac gets crotched on the top, continuing a theme tonight. Pac tries a cross body but Gangrel rolls him through for a botched near fall by referee Teddy Long (he countered three but Pac’s shoulder was up). Not that it matters as the X Factor retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Referee’s botch aside, this was a nice surprise. Gangrel is hardly known for his in ring abilities but he looked pretty good out there tonight. Pac was better here against a smaller guy as usual, and we got a good match out of it. After the two longer and not great matches earlier, this was a nice pick up.

DX says they’re united tonight but the $100,000 bounty makes it every man (Chyna: “And woman”) for themselves. Billy was nowhere to be seen here for some reason.

Here’s Shane to be ring announcer for the next match for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable

Scratch that ring announcer line as apparently he’s here to accept Sable’s forfeiture of the title. This was supposed to be a strap match which had a total of 18 seconds of build on Raw. That’s not an exaggeration either. They came out during another match and that was the only mention. Luna attacked Sable on Heat before the show tonight and injured the champ’s back, but Sable wants to fight anyway.

This is the four corners variety so Sable can look TOUGH here. Sable shoves her into the corner and whips Luna to the floor. She keeps whipping Luna and gets three corners but Luna makes the stop. We get more choking and whipping before Luna drags Sable around with both of them getting the buckles at the same time. You know, like in every other strap match EVER. Shane gets up on the apron before Sable gets the buckle, but Sable’s psycho fan Tori uses the distraction to deck Luna, giving sable the win.

Rating: D. Sable was insanely over back in 98, but at this point it was starting to wear thin. I always felt sorry for Luna who never got to win the Women’s Title. She really would have been a good choice for an evil chick for some blonde heroine to beat, but instead we got worthless lumps like Jackie. Nothing to see here but it could have been worse.

The Corporation says it’s everyone for themselves.

We recap Rock vs. Mankind, which we’ve covered already. Rock lost the title on January 4 on Raw so he wanted a rematch. Mankind kept saying no until Rock said he’d quit trying, which Mankind immediately accepted. The idea is that Mankind has never quit and has been through so much punishment that there’s nothing Rock can do to beat him.

Rock says that he isn’t just some other guy to Mankind, and he’s going to be the first man to make Mankind give up. If you’ve never seen it and have a stomach for blood, I can highly recommend the documentary Beyond the Mat, which is about the behind the scenes world in the WWF and this match is a focus of the film. This promo was being filmed by the documentary cameras and Mankind was about three feet from Rock here. More on this later.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

I Quit rules here. Rock is in his workout gear, which means his male breast enlargement surgery scars haven’t quite healed yet. There isn’t a single bit of sarcasm or humor in that statement. Mankind is defending and had to fight on Heat against the 500lb Mabel. Also the champ has recently gotten his most well known theme song, but it’s still the original version here which doesn’t have the clapping in it yet.

Mankind takes over early and hits his running knee to Rock’s head in the corner. He pounds away on Rock but Rock isn’t ready to quit yet. Some mic shots to the head keep Rock down but he still won’t say it. The Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Rock gets in a shot to take over. They head to the commentary desk where Rock talks some trash to King before getting hit in the back by a chair.

Back in and there’s the double arm DDT from the champ. Mr. Socko makes an appearance to put the Claw on Rock. King: “But you can’t talk with your mouth full!” The hold puts Rock out, meaning he can’t say he quits. Not the smartest move in the world there Mick. We brawl into the crowd but Rock hits a kind of suplex to take them back to ringside. There’s the bell ringing spot (Rock puts the bell on Mankind’s head and rings said bell) before singing a bit as only Rock can pull off in the middle of a match.

Rock loads up the Rock Bottom on the table but it gives way, crashing them to the floor. They slug it out some more and head up the aisle where Mankind clotheslines Rock down. Up to the tech area now and Rock hits the snap DDT onto the concrete. It’s ladder time (almost kind of foreshadowing in a way) but Rock gets crushed underneath it before he can use it. Mankind misses an elbow drop onto the ladder and both guys are down again.

Rock sets up the ladder next to the tech area and they climb up to a ledge in front of a balcony. The slugout ensues and Mankind is knocked off the ledge and onto the electrical stuff which shoots sparks and knocks out the arena lights for a few seconds. Mankind is mostly dead on the floor so here’s Shane to come out and ask Rock to chill a bit. Rock says he’s going to make Mankind say he quits, but he won’t ask him. You know, because Mankind isn’t going to say it and Rock knows this. Cole of course doesn’t get it and whines for about five minutes about it.

We head back into the ring where Mankind is basically out on the mat. Cole: “How is Mick Foley standing?” HE’S FREAKING LAY…..never mind. It’s not worth trying to get through Cole’s thick head. Anyway, Rock finds some handcuffs and this is about to get bad. Rock starts pounding away at Mankind’s unprotected head. Somewhere in there the champ was busted open.

Mankind comes back with a pair of low blows and headbutts (remember his arms are handcuffed behind his back). Rock clotheslines him down….and grabs a chair. We get the Corporate Elbow on the chair on Mankind’s head, but that’s just the beginning. Mick won’t quit, so Rocky hits him in the head (remember, unprotected) twice with HARD chair shots. Here are three more to finally knock Mankind down and out to the floor.

Even Lawler says that’s enough, but Rock hits Mankind in the back and side of the head with the chair. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Rock has a clear shot at Mankind’s back but instead waits for him to stand up and hit him in the head again. ANOTHER shot (we’re up to about 12 now) to the head puts Foley down and Mankind SCREAMS that he quits. Note that Mankind isn’t moving an inch and there’s a noticeable echo to his voice which there hasn’t been all night. That would come into play on Raw the next night.

Rating: B. This is a REALLY hard one to grade because the last five minutes are nothing but disturbing. We saw a guy completely defenseless and having his head smashed in with a piece of metal by a world class athlete. Pre Benoit or post Benoit, that’s a completely unnecessary risk and a terrifying thing to see. I love these two fighting, but this was legitimately disturbing.

Again, if you’ve never seen it, check out Beyond the Mat. It shows Mankind’s wife and family in the audience in terror watching this, but you can only hear the sound of the chair shots. If it was a horror movie it would be absolutely chilling. Also it shows Foley in the back looking at himself after the beating and the first time he looks in a mirror he stops almost cold. This went WAY too far.

We recap the Rumble, which is literally all about Vince vs. Austin and Austin’s path back to the title which begins tonight. Vince keeps screwing Austin out of the title but he’s kept coming back to get another shot. That’s most of the year in a nutshell actually.

Earlier tonight Austin came in on a monster truck limo for no apparent reason. He got in Vince’s face earlier as well, resulting in the Stooges getting beaten up.

Royal Rumble

There’s a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head and we have Austin at #1 and Vince at #2. I think you can see what’s coming from here. The intervals are 90 seconds here. Howard goes into a REALLY long winded explanation of the rules, causing Lawler to freak out on him. Vince of course takes the chance to show off his impressive physique. Austin immediately pounds away as Cole sums up Vince vs. Austin: “How often do you get to see an employee rip the CEO of a Fortune 500 company apart?”

Austin destroys Vince for a few moments with basic stuff until Golga is #3. There’s the Thesz Press and Golga slides in but Austin knocks him out in 15 seconds. Vince rolls to the floor and heads into the crowd with Austin chasing after him. They brawl (read as Austin punches him and Vince staggers away) up the crowd as there’s no one in the ring. Droz comes in at #4 with no one to fight. See, why did Golga have to be eliminated? It doesn’t sound great but having Droz vs. Golga is better than nothing.

Anyway, Vince and Austin brawl into the back and into a ladies’ room where the Corporation jumps Austin. Naturally the camera feed is lost so we don’t see what actually happens. We come back to the arena to see Droz just standing there. The years away from meaning anything Edge is #5 to actually give us some action. After about 45 seconds, Gillberg is #6. The hilarious entrance takes forever and Edge dumps him in about five seconds.

We cut back to the bathroom and Austin is out cold on the floor. Steve Blackman is #7 as the low level stuff continues. I mean, at the end of the day NO ONE in the ring at the moment is going to be bought as a serious contender here. Austin is being treated by EMTs as Blackman fires off kicks to Edge. Dan Severn and his wet t-shirt are #8. He and Blackman have the WWF style MMA fight as we see Austin on a stretcher. That’s about the fourth time we’ve cut to Austin and away from the ring.

Tiger Ali Singh (think an Indian Ted DiBiase with ZERO charisma) is #9 as we see the ambulance drive away. The five nothings in the ring continue to waste our time until Blue Meanie is #10. Again in way less than 90 seconds, there’s no #11. We cut to the back (running theme tonight) and see Mabel beating up Mosh to take his place in the match. He immediately dumps Severn and Blackman plus Singh. There go Meanie and Droz, leaving us with Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg who is #12. Road Dogg dumps Edge and there go the lights.

Taker’s music hits and we have the Acolytes and Mideon in the ring beating up Mabel. They dump him out, yet AGAIN leaving us with just one person standing there. Taker and Bearer pop up and stare down Mabel, apparently hypnotizing him, which would lead to Mabel becoming Viscera. Gangrel is #13 with his rocking entrance music. There goes Gangrel so we stand around a bit more.

Kurrgan is #14 and destroys Dogg with power stuff. Psycho Al Snow is #15 and helps double team Kurrgan. Snow tries to get on the ropes for more leverage and is immediately dumped by Dogg. Goldust is #16 and Kurrgan gets double teamed again. With the big man down, Roadie tries Shattered Dreames on Goldie. Kurrgan saves Goldust for no apparent reason and it’s Dogg that goes down instead.

Godfather is #17 but the Ho’s leave, ticking off the fans. After about 30 seconds of Godfather being in the ring, here’s Kane at #18 to FINALLY give us some star power. The ring is cleared in about 30 seconds and the place goes nuts for Kane. Since having Kane as a dominant monster to set up a showdown with another big name would be interesting, the people from the insane asylum come out to try to institutionalize Kane (just go with it), so he eliminates himself.

Shamrock is #19 with no one to fight. Vince comes back out to do commentary. Billy Gunn limps to the ring at #20 and is immediately taken down with a leg shot. The beating goes on for awhile until Test is #21. We cut to the back (AGAIN) to see Mabel being beaten into a hearse. An ambulance pulls up and it’s being drive by a certain bald headed Rattlesnake. Because clearly a guy can be beaten down, wake up less than 20 minutes later, get out of an ambulance bed, take over the ambulance, and get back to the arena in under half an hour.

Austin comes back to the ring as Boss Man is #22. Austin chases Vince around and into the ring but gets jumped by Shamrock. That’s it for Kenny so here’s HHH at #23, giving us three tall guys with long blonde hair. Billy goes after Austin for the sake of the money as Vince plays cheerleader. Vince tries not to slip into commentator mode as he talks about people wanting the money.

Val Venis is #24 and Austin dumps Billy. X-Pac is #25 and Val pounds on Austin. He kicks Steve to the floor as we’re just waiting on the Austin and Vince interaction. A spinwheel kick from Pac puts Austin down as Mark Henry is #26. Henry swings for Austin but decks Boss Man instead. Jeff Jarrett is #27 and nothing happens again. Pac kicks at a lot of people and hits the Bronco Buster on Boss Man.

In a somewhat famous bit, HHH is clearly heard asking Val if he can hang on if HHH throws him over the ropes. After that punch to kayfabe’s stomach, D’Lo Brown is #28. Austin dumps Test and X-Pac to give us some more mat space. Boss Man and Jarrett team up to try to eliminate Austin but he fights them off again. There goes Jarrett as Owen Hart is #29. Austin spits at Vince as the ring is way too full.

Chyna is #30, giving us a final group of Chyna, Austin, Vince, Boss Man, HHH, Venis, Henry, Brown, Hart and Chyna. Chyna manages to dump Henry but is knocked out almost immediately by Austin. HHH throws Val out to get us down to five. There’s a Stunner to dump HHH and get us down to five guys. Austin avoids a dropkick from Brown and they fight in the corner a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Austin and is backdropped out just a few seconds later. Boss Man takes Austin down and Brown hits the Low Down. Brown poses too long though and Boss Man tosses him, only to get tossed by Austin. We’re down to Austin vs. McMahon and the beating is on. Austin destroys Vince with a chair shot and the boss is in big trouble. We head back inside and Vince hits a quick low blow to give himself a breather. Austin comes back with the Stunner and beats on Vince until Rock comes out. Rock and Austin have their staredown, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.

Rating: F. No. This was a failure on every level. The premise was stupid, the execution was TERRIBLE, and Vince winning makes the whole thing a big joke. We had THREE part where the booking resulted in the ring being empty. Who in the world thought that was a goo….oh yeah this is still Russo Time. Absolutely horrible here and the worst Rumble of all time, pretty much by far.

Vince has a BIG celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The Rumble SUCKED, the title match was decent, and the rest of the show was either bad or forgettable. That’s more or less 1999 in a nutshell. On top of that, this would all mean NOTHING by the next week, as we had Halftime Heat coming up to give Mankind the title back, as well as Vince forfeiting his title shot at Mania, resulting in Austin going anyway. Just awful overall.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

Redo: C+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: F

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

It still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

We’re in the New Generation and that means we could be in for something interesting. In theory it means we’ll be seeing some rather good in-ring action, though the star power is hit and miss at best. In addition to the Royal Rumble itself, we also have the Undertaker challenging Yokozuna for the WWF Title in a casket match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is your usual look at some of the bigger names, with the videos seemingly being displayed on the side of buildings. Kind of an odd odd.

Ted DiBiase is brought out as the other half of the commentary team, which seems to surprise McMahon. Well dude you hired him.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow, with Luna Vachon, is replacing an injured Ludvig Borga (he would never wrestle for the WWF again). Tatanka strikes away to start and takes Bigelow down with an armbar. That’s broken up and Tatanka misses a high crossbody so he tries a top rope sunset flip. That doesn’t go well either as Bigelow sits on his chest for two, followed by a bearhug. Tatanka fights out and hits a quick powerslam but they both try crossbodies to leave them both down. Back up and Tatanka hits the war path but misses a charge and goes down. The moonsault misses for Bigelow though and a high crossbody gives Tatanka the pin at 8:21.

Rating: C. Perfectly decent opener here as the match was designed to be about Tatanka trying to get revenge on Borga but they didn’t have a better choice. This worked as well as it could have, with Tatanka still being a completely serviceable midcard star. It wasn’t great, but it was acceptable enough for their situation.

We recap the Hart Brothers challenging the Quebecers for the Tag Team Titles. Owen is feeling forgotten by Bret, mainly after being eliminated from their match at the Survivor Series. Owen said he was tired of living in Bret’s shadow and wanted a match between the two of them. Bret refused but had a better idea: they win the Tag Team Titles. This worked for Owen (even though he said he was going to take off with Bret right behind him) and we’re ready to go.

We look at the Quebecers losing and regaining the Tag Team Titles in a series with Marty Jannetty and the 1-2-3 Kid.

Bret (standing in front of Owen) are ready to face any challengers.

Tag Team Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Bret and Pierre start things off with Bret taking over and working on a wristlock. Owen comes in for his spinning wristlock escape and it’s off to Jacques, who offers a handshake. A suplex puts Jacques down and he bails over to the corner for a hug from Pierre. And a mini version from Polo, who doesn’t want to feel left out. An enziguri puts Jacques down and something like a Demolition Decapitator gets two. Pierre comes in to take over on Owen in the corner but Owen dives over Bret for a rollup and near fall.

The champs bail out to the floor (likely for more hugging) before Pierre comes in and gets clotheslined. It’s back to Bret, who gets caught in a powerslam to let the Quebecers take over. Bret gets choked on the ropes and some running knees to the back give Jacques two. Pierre dives into a raised boot though and it’s Owen coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Owen grabs a quick Sharpshooter, which is broken up with a bulldog.

A hot shot rocks Owens again but he’s back with a double running dropkick. The tag brings in Bret and Pierre is sent outside, though Polo low bridges Bret to the floor. Bret comes up clutching his knee and that’s never a good sign. Naturally the champions are smart enough to start in on the knee, including a chair shot from Jacques.

More shots to the knee keep Bret down and Owen sends Pierre into the steps, which doesn’t really do much good. Back in and a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets two and Pierre goes after the leg again. The Cannonball misses….but Bret won’t tag, instead trying the Sharpshooter on Pierre. The knee gives out though and the referee says Bret can’t continue at 16:47.

Rating: B-. I remember seeing this match when I was a kid and thinking Bret was completely wrong, which is still the case here. There was zero reason for Bret to not tag out and let Owen come in other than he didn’t think Owen was good enough. It was just a straight up heel move and Owen was totally justified, especially after everything else he had done. The match was all about telling the story of Bret going too far, though he and Owen did work very well together.

Post match Owen screams at Bret and kicks his leg out (amen). With a bunch of agents out there helping Bret, Ray Rougeau comes out to check on Bret’s status, even wanting to talk to Bret himself. Dude he’s getting help from Pat Patterson and Rene Goulet. He’s already in enough trouble.

Anyway Bret is carried out on a stretcher with Owen popping up on screen to rant about Bret being selfish (yep). They even stop the stretcher in front of the screen so Bret can watch (GEEZ PEOPLE) as Owen says he kicked the leg out from his….leg. Yeah Owen screwed the line up, but this was a heck of a heel turn, even though he was pretty much totally justified.

Ted DiBiase applauds Owen for what he did. Owen as part of the Million Dollar Corporation could have worked well.

Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon, of Radio WWF, step in for the next match. And yes, Radio WWF is exactly what it sounds like and no it didn’t work.

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Ramon is defending and IRS accuses everyone here of being a tax cheat. Ramon slugs him down to start and even more right hands send IRS outside for a breather. Back in and an atomic drop into a clothesline drops IRS again, only to have him send Ramon outside. A posting has Ramon down again so IRS goes up top. The boot is raised but IRS sees it coming like a bad sweat attack and drops an elbow instead.

The chinlock doesn’t last long so it’s a legdrop into…well another chinlock. Ramon fights up and punches away, setting up a fall away slam. The referee gets bumped in the corner though but the briefcase is taken away. A shot to the face drops IRS but there’s no referee. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn Michaels runs in with the other Intercontinental Title to knock Ramon silly. That’s enough to give IRS the pin and the title…but another referee comes out to say what happened. Ramon grabs a Razor’s Edge for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C-. Yeah you know what you’re getting here, as IRS is technically sound but he’s just not that much to watch in the ring. His stuff is so dry and it can make a rough sit, though he’s kind of perfect for the spot. Ramon got a nice title defense and that’s all it needed to be. Fine enough use of Ramon, but not a very good match, even with the false finish.

We recap Undertaker vs. Yokozuna for the latter’s WWF Title. Undertaker wants the title and has built an extra large casket, naturally with Yokozuna being terrified of a casket. Well yeah, a lot of people are. We get various scenes of the casket being built and then taken away in a cart (though Undertaker standing there after it is taken away is a cool visual). They also did the “Yokozuna opens the casket and Undertaker is inside” deal, which scared him all over again. This went on for a good while and it got almost silly instead of a serious title match.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna (with Jim Cornette and. Mr. Fuji) is defending in a casket match and Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker. The uppercuts have Yokozuna in trouble to start and a running shot knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Old School connects but Undertaker misses the big jumping clothesline. Undertaker knocks him outside and they trade chair shots to the head with Yokozuna getting the better of things.

Back in and a headbutt knocks Undertaker silly but it’s too early to put him in the casket. Undertaker fights up and hits a kind of choke shove (no elevation due to gravity), followed by the running DDT. It’s time to put Yokozuna in the casket but cue Crush to go after Undertaker, who takes him down anyway. Now it’s Kabuki and Tenryu to slow Undertaker down, with Bam Bam Bigelow coming in as well.

Fuji steals the urn from Bearer, who kicks Fuji in the ribs and steals the urn back, allowing him to bash the other managers. The power of the urn brings Undertaker back so here is Jeff Jarrett to help the villains. Adam Bomb comes in as well and here are the Headshrinkers to finally put Undertaker down.

The casket is opened and he’s put inside but fights out AGAIN (the place is losing it for the comeback and…well yeah understandably so). Diesel comes in as well as Yokozuna steals the urn and actually opens it, revealing a bunch of green smoke. The beatdown is on again and everyone unloads on him with all kinds of stuff to FINALLY get him in the casket to retain the title at 14:22.

Rating: C. I’m really not sure what to think of this as it sound up being 10 (12 counting the managers) on 2 at the end (ok 2.5 if you count Bearer) and the comebacks had the people going nuts. That being said, the match itself was pretty slow and sluggish, with the regular action being little more than a setup for the big stuff at the end. Either way, it’s certainly memorable and that’s what matters the most.

Post match the casket is wheeled out and the gong sounds. We go to Casket Cam, with undertaker looking up and saying that you will soon see his rebirth and he will never rest in peace. Then his body raises up through the top of the video screen (just go with it, and no it wasn’t Marty Jannetty) and disappears. This is interesting, as when I was a kid, I couldn’t actually see the body, so I thought Undertaker just disappeared. Seeing it on a better TV, you can still only kind of see the silhouette (ignore where the hat came from), but at least it makes some more sense.

It’s time for the rapid fire “I’m going to win the Royal Rumble” comments from Randy Savage, Jeff Jarrett, Tatanka, Diesel, Doink, Shawn Michaels and Lex Luger.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Scott Steiner in at #1 and Samu in at #2. Shockingly enough, they hit each other rather hard with Samu getting the better of things until Rick Steiner is in at #3. DiBiase wants to see the Steiners fight but they need a voice of reason to say “yeah, or the Steiners could then beat up everyone else and fight at the end”. A belly to belly and Steiner Line have Samu in trouble and he misses a charge to get his head caught in the ropes.

Samu is knocked out and it’s Kwang in at #4, meaning it’s some green mist to Rick. Kwang beats on both of them and it’s Owen Hart in at #5. The villains pair off and Owen actually gets rid of Rick. Bart Gunn is in at #6 and they pair off again as we’re told that something has happened backstage. Well I would hope that they’re not just all standing there like statues. Kwang hits a good superkick on Bart and it’s Diesel in at #7 to toss everyone with ease. The ring is cleared out and it’s Bob Backlund in at #8.

Backlund is smart enough to stay low to the mat and go for the legs, to the point where he almost gets Diesel over. Diesel fights that off and throws him out, before Billy Gunn is in at #9. And there goes Billy, as we go to the back where Tenryu and Kabuki have jumped Lex Luger. Virgil is in at #10 (DiBiase: “WHERE DID HE COME FROM? Ok I’m going to enjoy this McMahon.”) as an alternate for Kamala and tries some jabs, only to get hit in the face and dumped out.

Randy Savage is in at #11 to give Diesel some real competition as he hammers away to start. The shots to the face and some choking in the corner even have DiBiase impressed. Diesel gets knocked down in the corner and it’s Jeff Jarrett in at #12. Jarrett knocks Savage down and throws him over, only for Savage to skin the cat. Savage tosses Jarrett and it’s Crush (whom Savage absolutely hates) in at #13.

Savage is of course all over him with right hands and ax handles but Savage switches to Diesel, allowing Crush to get in a shot from behind. Doink The Clown is in at #14 as Savage is tossed out. Doink sprays water at Diesel and steps on their feet, which is about as long as the good lasts. Bam Bam Bigelow is in at #15 as Doink is out, leaving us with the three monsters to fight each other. Mabel is in at #16 (as Doink is being helped out) and it’s a four way monster fight as the clock seems to be getting shorter.

Sparky Plugg (replacing an injured 1-2-3 Kid) is in at #17 and everyone gets together on the ropes but no one is out. Shawn Michaels is in at #18 and has a staredown with Diesel (his bodyguard) but a bunch of people get together and toss Diesel (Michaels might have shoved but it’s not clear). Mo is in at #19 to help Mabel a bit and things slow down. It’s Greg Valentine (he has to be an alternate) in at #20, giving us Crush, Bigelow, Mabel, Plugg, Michaels, Mo and Valentine at the two thirds mark.

Bigelow and Mo (what a team) beat on Valentine and Mabel and Plugg team up (part of why I love the Rumble). Tatanka is in at #21 as the ring is getting too full. Great Kabuki is in at #22 and a bunch of people get together to toss Mabel. Lex Luger is in at #23 and throws his variety of punches before getting rid of Kabuki. Things slow back down and it’s Tenryu in at #24.

Tenryu chops away at Luger and kicks him in the face as….no one is here at #25. Commentary thinks it was supposed to be Bret Hart as the fairly listless brawling continues. Rick Martel is in at #26 as there are some rather fillery people in here. Luger and Tatanka slug it out until Michaels cuts Luger off. A very limping Bret Hart is in at #27, with commentary being stunned. He takes his time getting to the ring and knocks Crush down as Fatu is in at #28.

A bunch of people get together and throw Crush out as March Jannetty is in at #29 as we’re told the missing entrant was a sick Bastion Booger. Jannetty goes right at it with Michaels in quite the heated brawl but Tenryu breaks it up. Jannetty’s superkick staggers Michaels and he grabs a sleeper as Adam Bomb is in at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Bigelow, Plugg, Michaels, Mo, Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb.

That’s FAR too many so Michaels gets rid of Plugg, leaving Hart to beat on Mo in one of those Only In The Royal Rumble pairings. Michaels starts in on Hart’s bad knee but gets kicked into the post for his efforts. Martel gets rid of Valentine (who might have slipped out, though it doesn’t really matter) and then gets tossed himself, with Bomb following him for another quick elimination. Mo and Tatanka are out too, followed by Bigelow and Jannetty as we get rid of some people in a hurry.

We’re down to Luger, Michaels, Tenryu, Fatu and Hart. Tenryu sends Fatu and Michaels head to head, with the expected result. Fatu and Michaels are whipped into each other so Tenryu goes after Luger, who tosses him as well. That leaves us with four so Michaels goes after Hart (it seems so appropriate) and Luger faceplants Fatu. Since NO ONE CAN EVER LEARN IN THESE THINGS, Fatu superkicks him down and hits a middle rope fist drop. Fatu and Michaels are tossed out, leaving Hart and Luger to slug it out. They both go over the top at the same time and that’s….apparently it at 55:04.

Rating: B-. This is a tricky Rumble, as there are certainly good parts, including Diesel’s monster run (which the company and fans both noticed), the ending and Hart’s performance in general, but there are also some dead spots that drag it down. While it isn’t quite an all time Rumble, it’s certainly a good enough one and that’s an acceptable result. It did a good job of selling the drama of not knowing who was winning and there were some interesting “every man for themselves” moment. Solid Rumble, though it could have been better with some tweaks.

Post match one referee says it was Luger and another says it was Bret. The replays show that they landed at pretty much the exact same time and it couldn’t have gone much better. Eventually Jack Tunney comes out to say they’re co winners, which set up the unofficial tournament at Wrestlemania X.

Respect is shown and we get some quick stills to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is such a unique show as one match eats up so much of the card. That was the case here and I liked the Rumble well enough. The problem is almost nothing else really stands out, save for maybe Owen Hart going completely nuts in his turn. Well that and Undertaker being….whatever he was supposed to be. It certainly has some memorable moments and the ending to the Rumble is a classic, so we’ll call it a good enough show with some weak parts.

Results
Tatanka b. Bam Bam Bigelow – High crossbody
Quebecers b. Bret Hart/Owen Hart via referee stoppage
Razor Ramon b. IRS – Razor’s Edge
Yokozuna b. Undertaker – Yokozuna put Undertaker in the casket
Lex Luger and Bret Hart co-won the Royal Rumble last eliminating each other

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 4, 1993
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

We’re finally coming out of the long valley that is the post Summerslam period and getting ready to start setting up the long build to Survivor Series. While there are only going to be a few matches on the card, there are going to be some main stories and side stories to go with them, meaning we have some work to do. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Tatanka, Adam Bomb, MVP, Razor Ramon, Mr. Perfect, 1-2-3 Kid, Diesel, Jacques, Pierre, Bam Bam Bigelow, IRS, Randy Savage, Giant Gonzalez, Rick Martel, Bastion Booger, Marty Jannetty, Owen Hart, Bob Backlund, Jimmy Snuka, Mabel

The final two will face each other one on one for the vacant Intercontinental Title (thanks to Shawn Michaels being suspended). Savage jumps Gonzalez from behind to start fast and a bunch of people toss Gonzalez out. We settle down to the usual brawling around the ropes and the other giants try to get rid of Savage. Diesel finally muscles Mabel out and Ramon tosses IRS as we start getting rid of some people.

The Kid is gone too and Diesel beats up Tatanka in the corner. Diesel switches over to Perfect and misses a charge, allowing Perfect to eliminate him. We take a break and come back with Backlund and Snuka being eliminated, with Perfect following them. Jannetty is out and Tatanka misses a charge to put himself out. Booger and Bigelow are both out and we take another break.

We come back again with Hart dropkicking MVP out but getting tossed as well. We’re down to Bomb, Jacques, Pierre, Martel, Savage and Ramon and a 4-2 match breaks out. The Quebecers double team Ramon and Bomb tries to get rid of Savage, only for Savage to switch places and knock him out.

The Quebecers toss Savage and we’re down to four. A triple dropkick misses though and Ramon gets to make the comeback. The numbers get the better of him again and Martel even gets in some jumping jacks. Ramon avoids a clothesline and Jacques is out, with Ramon dumping Pierre, leaving Martel and Ramon to win at 19:21.

Rating: C+. Ramon getting one of the spots was a smart way to go as he is the kind of star who could use a boost from being the Intercontinental Champion. At the same time you have Martel, who is an established veteran who might not be the biggest star anymore, but he can make Ramon look good next week. The rest of the match was ok enough, though getting down to two is always a weird way to go.

Post match Ramon and Martel have to be held back.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Mark Taylor/Scott Thomas

Jim Cornette is here with the Bodies. Pritchard goes after the rather muscular Taylor’s knee to start and it’s off to Del Ray. A gutwrench suplex connects as Heenan talks about a team coming on Superstars: the Rock N Roll Express. Apparently they really don’t like Cornette. Pritchard hits a middle rope spinebuster to Thomas (though Vince has no idea which is which) and a double suplex takes him down again. A DDT finishes for Del Ray at 3:38.

Rating: C. I never quite got the appeal of the Bodies but they were good enough as a fresh heel team. The tag division was in need of some new blood so bringing in a team from Smoky Mountain makes enough sense. Other than that, though, just a squash with the Bodies getting to look decent enough.

We recap Doink The Clown throwing confetti on Bam Bam Bigelow and water on Luna Vachon. A chase ensued but Bigelow tripped over a well placed wire.

Doink The Clown vs. Cory Student

Before the match, Doink teases throwing water on Heenan but it’s popcorn instead in the old Harlem Globetrotters bit. Doink starts with a dropkick and wrestles Student down. The Whoopee Cushion finishes Student at 1:53.

Post match Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon come out, with Bigelow destroying Doink’s wagon.

Heenan is annoyed at the popcorn as we preview next week’s show.

Overall Rating: C. This was all about the battle royal and that took up a good deal of the time and star power. That’s not the worst way to go as they had to take care of the title picture and it isn’t like there is a pay per view in just a few weeks. Survivor Series can come later, which is likely going to be taking place in the next few weeks. For now though, this was an acceptable show, even if it was rather top heavy.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 26, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to start putting together the Summerslam card as Lex Luger continues his quest for a WWF Title shot. He doesn’t actually have it yet but maybe he can get there by doing….bus things. Other than that, we have a rematch from the King Of The Ring finals as Bret Hart meets Bam Bam Bigelow. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Doink the Clown is NOT happy with Randy Savage costing him a match so if the Macho Boy ever does it again, it won’t go well. If he’s a good Macho Boy though, Doink might have a surprise for him.

Opening sequence.

Commentary previews the show, with Stu and Helen Hart in the balcony for Bret’s match.

Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Luna Vachon is here with Bigelow, who knocks him down fast to start and hammers away. Hart slides between the legs though and slugs away before knocking him out to the floor. Back in and Hart hits a top rope…something but comes up holding his knee. Bigelow stomps away and we take an early break.

We come back with Hart on the floor and holding his knee so Bigelow whips him hard into the corner. Some mockery makes it even worse and a World’s Strongest Slam gives Bigelow two. Hart avoids another shot and hits a belly to back suplex before slugging away. Bigelow hits a dropkick to the ribs of all things and we hit the rather large chinlock. We take another break and come back with Hart fighting out of the chinlock.

Another dropkick is avoided though and Hart manages a backdrop. A middle rope clothesline gives Hart two and he jumps on Bigelow’s back with a sleeper. With nothing else working, Bigelow just launches him head first into the buckle for the escape. Hart knocks him down again and tries the Sharpshooter…but Jerry Lawler is in the balcony with Stu and Helen Hart.

Lawler says they have more tragedies than Shakespeare as Bigelow rams Hart into the post. Stu argues back with Lawler and it goes about as well as you would expect. Helen tells him to wrestle and keep his mouth closed as Bigelow keeps hammering away. Bigelow misses a Swanton of all things and Hart slugs away, which is enough for him to go after Lawler for the countout at 17:02.

Rating: B-. It’s not quite as good as the match at the King Of The Ring but then again that’s not the point here. This was about advancing Hart’s issues with Lawler and having him go after Hart’s parents is going to do that rather well. Hart can always work well with a monster and Bigelow is more than good enough so the match worked well as a result.

Post match Hart gets to his parents but Lawler is long gone.

Summerslam Report! Lex Luger is officially getting the WWF Title shot, though he has to wear an elbow pad. Gene Okerlund thinks Jerry Lawler is a complete jerk, but he also wants to see the Rest In Peace match between Undertaker and Giant Gonzalez. What is a Rest In Peace match? Only Undertaker knows. Also, hasn’t Undertaker been feuding with Mr. Hughes? So why is he facing Gonzalez? Normally I would say would Gonzalez be that much worse than Hughes…..but yeah, yeah he would be.

Mr. Hughes vs. Ross Greenberg

Hughes hammers away to start as commentary talks about the Undertaker, with McMahon asking how a match between Undertaker and Hughes would go. Then he plugs the Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez match. 1993 was weird. Hughes hits a powerbomb and sends him into the buckle a few times. A Boss Man Slam finishes Greenberg at 3:05.

Rating: C-. Commentary summed up the problem here perfectly: why in the world should I care about Hughes if Gonzalez is getting the big match with Undertaker? It makes Hughes feel like a filler (which, granted, he was) and that’s not the best way to go. Then again, it is better than having Gonzalez out there week after week.

Post match Hughes rips up another black wreath from the Undertaker and Heenan makes a rather inappropriate joke about Bill Clinton.

Wrestlemania: The Album is being released so there was a party with some wrestlers present.

Smoking Gunns vs. Duane Gill/Glen Ruth

Billy takes Gill down without much effort to start and it’s off to Bart to work on the arm. Ruth comes in and gets taken down by a crossbody. A powerslam into an elbow drop sets up a double Russian legsweep. Billy adds a dropkick and a clothesline as the Gunns keeps making the quick tags. Commentary talks about Lex Luger long enough until McMahon decides to focus on the match. A backdrop into a piledriver finishes Ruth at 4:23.

Rating: C. The Gunns were a team who felt like the next big thing, which is pretty much exactly what they were. They had an easily identifiable gimmick and they worked well together, but as usual in this time period, there was no competition for them and it took away what they could do. Total squash here, and I’m not sure on that finisher.

Ludwig Borga doesn’t like America.

Lex Luger was here earlier today and talks about how happy he is to have his WWF Title shot at Summerslam. He’s fine with wearing the elbow pad and wants to do nothing more than answer questions and meet fans on the way to the match.

We look at some fans who have joined the Lex train.

Doink The Clown vs. Phil Apollo

Doink wrestles him down without much trouble to start and ties Apollo up on the mat. Savage says Doink is boring, with natural promoter Vince McMahon running in to defend Doink, which is rather weird to hear. The Whoopee Cushion finishes Apollo at 2:32.  Apollo would be better off when he he became…Doink.

Post match Doink talks to the Macho Boy, and comes to the floor to talk to him face to face. Doink challenges Savage to face him next week and promises Triple Vision, with two more Doinks appearing in the arena. Savage is down with the match and promises a little surprise for next week. Oh dear.

We wrap it up with the Wrestlemania Rap and…yeah I still love it.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, Hart carries things around this time and he has a new foe in Lawler to work with, so things should go well. Other than that, you have Luger continuing his bus stuff and…it’s Lex Luger riding around the country on a bus. What am I supposed to get out of that? The Hart match is the only good thing here but luckily it takes up a bunch of time so things could be a lot worse.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 5, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re fresh off of the 4th of July and that means we have a new American hero. Yesterday saw a bodyslam challenge on the deck of the USS Intrepid. That means we are going to be seeing quite the push on the way to next month’s Summerslam but since the WWF has always been good at subtlety, they should be fine about pushing the new hero too hard. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at some of the failed attempts at the bodyslam challenge on the USS Intrepid, but we don’t see the winner.

Opening sequence.

Commentary is rather excited about what happened yesterday.

We get an extended look at the bodyslam challenge, with no one being able to pull it off. Yokozuna even stopped for some rice during the middle of the contest. Tatanka chopped him but got beaten up before Crush got closer than anyone else. Randy Savage went last but couldn’t do it either and all hope was lost. Then a helicopter landed on the ship and LEX LUGER decided to be a real American (he has a flag shirt on after all) and called Yokozuna out. The fight was on and, after the steel forearm to the head, he (mostly) slammed Yokozuna. This was a heck of a moment and the staredown alone looked great. Now just follow it up.

Randy Savage praises Luger, whose challenge for a title shot has already been turned down.

Blake Beverly vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Kid is freshly off beating Razor Ramon so he’s far from established. Beverly yells at the crowd to start but gets dropkicked in the back, followed by a jumping kick to the chest to drop him again. Back up and Beverly gets in a shot of his own, followed by a neckbreaker. The Kid gets sent crashing out to the floor and the rather cocky Beverly slaps him in the face a few times.

Back in and a big toss over the top sends Kid crashing to the floor again, followed by an Oklahoma Stampede for two back inside. Kid misses a middle rope crossbody and a flying shoulder sends him crashing out to the floor. Beverly’s dive off the apron misses though and Kid hits a running flip dive. Back in and Beverly catches him with a belly to back suplex, only to get kicked down. A top rope legdrop gives the Kid the pin at 8:03.

Rating: B-. This was a match that told a nice story, with Beverly not buying that the Kid was anything more than a fluke and then getting caught as a result. That’s a smart way to go and Beverly is just enough of a name to make this feel important. The Kid is still getting started, but they’re doing it right in the early stages.

Men On A Mission raps. I think they want the titles.

Luna Vachon threatens us with Bam Bam Bigelow.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Joey Maggs

Some corner splashes finish Maggs in 41 seconds.

Watch All-American Wrestling!

Undertaker vs. Samu

Afa is here with Samu but Paul Bearer is still injured and the urn has been stolen (again). Samu hammers away to start before an exchange of shoulders goes nowhere. Undertaker tries a leapfrog and it doesn’t go well, which is probably why he doesn’t do it very often. A drop toehold of all things takes Samu down and Undertaker knocks him outside for some venting of frustration. Back in and Old School connects but Samu gets in a shot of his own to put Undertaker on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps. A powerslam gives Samu two and he knocks Undertaker outside again, only for Undertaker to grab him by the throat. Undertaker tosses him into the corner but misses the elbow. The top rope headbutt connects but Samu tries another, with Undertaker sitting up. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Samu at 7:21.

Rating: C. The idea here was that the Undertaker was doing different things without Bearer around and it worked…kind of. The leapfrog was terrible and the match itself was only so good, but that’s what you have to expect from a Samu match. Undertaker needed a better opponent and Mr. Hughes was only going to take him so far in the near future.

Watch WWF Mania! Dang this company has a lot of shows.

Here is Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, for a chat. Fuji doesn’t hear the USA chants and brings up Lex Luger’s steel forearm. There was NO slam and Luger does not get a title shot because he is a CHEATER. Vince McMahon asks about Bret Hart or Randy Savage getting a title shot but here is Crush to interrupt. Crush thanks Luger for standing up for America and embarrassing anyone. He’d love that title shot and the match is on for next week.

Mr. Perfect vs. Brian Costello

PerfectPlex finishes at 1:00.

Commentary wraps us up and we see the slam one more time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. So this is pretty much where we are now, as the entire focus is on Lex Luger and little more. Other than that, the biggest story is the Undertaker against the monster of the month and that isn’t exactly enough to carry things. Hopefully they add in something as a bonus, because Luger slamming Yokozuna and then not being here the next week isn’t much to go on for the long term.

 

 

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King of the Ring 1993
Date: June 13, 1993
Location; Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

It’s another WWE Vault special as we’re looking back at one of the company’s on again/off again concepts. That could make for a good way to go, but this show has a bit of a hit and miss reputation. Bret Hart is the #1 seed and that’s good enough for me, though this is hardly a strong time for the company. Oh and Hulk Hogan is defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna in a Wrestlemania rematch. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the tournament and runs down the brackets:

Bret Hart
Razor Ramon

Mr. Perfect
Mr. Hughes

Jim Duggan
Bam Bam Bigelow

Tatanka
Lex Luger

Commentary previews the show, including the non-tournament stuff.

King Of The Ring First Round: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Heenan and Savage bicker about the 1-2-3 Kid’s famous upset of Ramon so JR ignores them to call the match as Hart starts in on the arm. Hart works on an armbar but can’t get a hiptoss, instead getting dropped by a hard clothesline. An elbow misses though and Hart is back on the arm, including another armdrag into an armbar.

Ramon gets evil by going to the eye before elbowing Hart in the face for two. The chinlock doesn’t work though as Hart reverses into a hammerlock and cranks away. Back up and Hart misses a charge into the post, allowing Ramon to really take over for the first time. A fall away slam gives Ramon two and he nails a running powerslam for the same.

Hart fights up and hits the atomic drop into the running clothesline for two as the fans are way into the comeback. The Five Moves Of Doom are cut off with the chest first crash into the buckle but the Razor’s Edge is blocked as well. A small package gives Hart a VERY near fall so Ramon takes him up top for the belly to back superplex. That’s reversed into a crossbody to give Hart the pin at 10:24.

Rating: B. It’s a good sign for Hart that he’s gotten this much better in just a few months, as this was quite a bit better than his match against Ramon at the Royal Rumble. This was Hart figuring out a bigger and stronger opponent, which is where he tends to shine. Good stuff here, though if Hart is the #1 seed, Ramon is dead last? Really?

We look at Mr. Hughes taking out the Undertaker, who needed a new monster to slay. The villains stole the Urn as well.

King Of The Ring First Round: Mr. Perfect vs. Mr. Hughes

My money is on Mr. Before the match, Heenan uses his Brain Scan to mock Perfect’s form on the gum swat, because he’s still bitter over Perfect deserting him. Hughes powers him into the corner to start and shrugs off a dropkick. Perfect is sent outside and comes back in to slug away with limited success. A neck crank keeps Perfect down for a bit and a big boot makes it even worse. The neck crank goes on again before a big whip into the corner has Perfect down again.

Bret Hart gets an insert interview, where he says he’d rather face Perfect in the second round. Back up and Perfect tries to jump over Hughes but both of them go down, with Perfect slugging away to keep things going. A missed charge in the ropes gives Perfect a breather and he manages a backdrop (Hughes doesn’t even lose his sunglasses) and there’s the necksnap. That’s enough for Hughes, who grabs the Urn and clocks Perfect for the DQ at 6:01.

Rating: C. Yeah there isn’t much that Perfect can do here, as they didn’t have time to go anywhere and the ending was just lame. Hughes is getting one of his biggest shots ever and he just hits Perfect for the lame DQ? It’s just a weird way to go, though Hughes was just a successful enough monster to feel like he could win, giving Hart another monster to slay in the semifinals.

Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna are ready for Hulk Hogan, who cheated at Wrestlemania. Not exactly but Hogan was hardly on fair footing there either.

King Of The Ring First Round: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan is in the singlet style gear here so you know this isn’t going to go well. Bigelow grabs a headlock to start as JR is firmly in NFL resume mode. Heenan: “CAN IT! WHO CARES???” Duggan slugs back with a running shoulder to the floor, with Savage getting on him for spending way too much time playing to the crowd.

Back in and Duggan can’t pick him up, allowing Bigelow to start in on the ribs. The bearhug doesn’t last long and Bigelow misses a headbutt but Duggan still can’t slam him. The second bearhug works a bit better but Duggan fights out again. This time the slam works but Duggan misses a charge into the buckle. Bigelow’s top rope headbutt finishes Duggan at 5:01.

Rating: D+. I love Duggan but the magic was gone by 1993. That made this little more than a formality, though Duggan still did have the ability to slug it out with a big man. Bigelow was clearly the right way to go here as he was always worth a look and they didn’t waste an opponent on him, but yeah not much to see here.

The Steiner Brothers and the Steiner Brothers are ready for Money Inc. and the Headshrinkers in an eight man tag. This is from the Coliseum Video version of the show so it isn’t even the original broadcast.

King Of The Ring First Round: Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Luger does his mirror entrance and has the steel forearm for a bonus. Hold on though as Luger has to put on an elbow pad or he’s out of the tournament. As Heenan panics over the pad ruling, Luger jumps Tatanka to start fast but stops to pose, with commentary losing it over how stupid he is here.

Tatanka is back in to chop him to the floor for a slam, followed by a clothesline for two back inside. The armbar slows Luger down again and Tatanka chops away at the shoulder as this is already feeling like the time limit draw of the tournament. Bam Bam Bigelow joins us for an insert promo which we can’t hear to start, but he seems to want to face Tatanka next.

The armbar goes on again but this time Luger fights out as you can hear the crowd getting rather quiet. A backbreaker out of the corner puts Tatanka down again and a rather delayed elbow gets an also delayed two (oh yeah the time limit draw is coming and they’re not hiding it). Luger actually hits his big jumping elbow for a VERY delayed two and we hit the chinlock.

Tatanka fights up and chops away as we have three minutes left. A big chop gets two as the fans are responding to actually seeing someone working faster. The top rope chop gets two but Luger knocks him down again and we get a double breather. A backdrop puts Tatanka down again and a suplex gives Luger a near fall with thirty seconds left. Another suplex gets another two and time expires at 15:00.

Rating: C-. This was one of the most frustrating things you can see in wrestling, as it was just a countdown until the obvious finish. There was no reason for them to do some of the things they were doing here other than killing time and that made for a tedious match. Tatanka’s comeback was good and they needed to do this to protect his undefeated streak, but find a more interesting way to do it.

Post match Luger talks about wanting to keep going and then takes the pad off to knock Tatanka silly.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t like Bret Hart saying he would prefer to face Perfect, with Gene Okerlund egging things on. Then they argue over whose dad could beat the other before bringing up Hart beating Perfect at Summerslam 1991. They do at least shake hands.

King Of The Ring Semifinals: Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Hart has a bandaged hand after the first round. They start slowly until Perfect takes him down by the head as commentary discusses whether or not Heenan was managing Perfect when Hart beat him for the Intercontinental Title. Ignore that he wasn’t, but Heenan seems to have forgotten that. Hart blocks a slam and kicks him away, setting up a headlock to grind away a bit.

Perfect gets up and gets pulled into another headlock, which is broken up as well. A nice dropkick sends Hart outside and Perfect hits a rather loud chop as the fans approve of what they’re seeing. Back up and Hart gets shoved off the apron for a huge crash (near a cooler full of ice, water and Pepsi). Hart is back in and Perfect’s missile dropkick gets a pair of near falls. Perfect goes up again but gets caught in a superplex, allowing Hart to start in on the leg. The Figure Four has Perfect in trouble until he makes the ropes, meaning Hart can grab another leglock to keep him in trouble.

That’s broken up and the sleeper goes on, with Perfect putting his foot on the ropes because he’s still a bit of a heel. Hart gets out again and starts the comeback, including the backbreaker into the middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter is loaded up but Perfect gets smart by grabbing Hart’s bandaged hand. Back up and the PerfectPlex is blocked as Hart suplexes him out to the floor for a huge crash. Back in and Perfect tries a small package but Hart reverses into one of his own for the pin at 18:54.

Rating: A-. There are certain people who work very well together and these two have some very underrated chemistry. Hart continuing to get the better of Perfect is a cool thing to see as you know Hart had to work for this one. Perfect was game here too and I could have gone for a heck of a lot more of hero Perfect than we got over the years. He really was that good and it was on display here. Outstanding match.

Post match respect is (eventually) shown.

Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart give a VERY pro-America speech about how they’re protecting us from the evil Japanese threat. This would have been over the top during World War II.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging and there are a lot of Japanese photographers at ringside. Heenan says this is a fresh Yokozuna, not one who wrestled a “thirty minute match” before Hogan faced him. That’s a stretch even for Heenan. Hogan comes out and sweet goodness he’s probably….oh 40lbs down from his traditional size or so?  Happy steroids trial everyone.

Hogan can’t shove him around to start but Yokozuna can shove him down rather quickly. A big slam drops Hogan again and Fuji is certainly approving. Back up and Hogan avoids a charge in the corner before hammering away with right hands. The running corner clothesline rocks Yokozuna but it’s way too early for the slam. Another attempt gets a leg up but Hogan falls down and is in trouble again. Hogan fights up and hits some running clotheslines but Yokozuna drops him with a single clothesline.

The big splash misses and Hogan has an opening, which is cut off with a bearhug. That stays on for a good while until Hogan fires off some right hands to free himself. Yokozuna drops him again though as Hogan just can’t keep anything going. The belly to belly suplex gets two (and Yokozuna gets some height on the kickout) as it’s time to Hulk Up. The big boot rocks Yokozuna but doesn’t drop him and a second has the same result.

A third big boot finally drops Yokozuna and the legdrop connects…for two, with the kickout putting Hogan back on his feet. Hogan has to deck Fuji but a photographer (with a huge beard) gets on the apron. Hogan goes over to him and the camera causes a fireball to go off in Hogan’s face. The big leg gives Yokozuna the pin and the title back at 13:07.

Rating: D+. There is only so much you can do for a match like this, but that’s how Hulkamania officially ends in the WWF in the 90s. They went out of the way to make sure Hogan didn’t get to slam him and that’s the big sign that things are changing. Hogan never should have gotten the title back in the first place and he had some protection with the camera, but Yokozuna kicking out of the legdrop was a big moment. Not a good match as expected, but it certainly has the historical significance.

Post match Hogan tries to get up but he can’t see. Yokozuna hits the Banzai Drop and Hogan is helped out, not to appear on WWF TV for nearly nine years.

Mr. Perfect is disappointed with his loss but he’d rather not talk about it.

Gene Okerlund talks about the love that Detroit has shown to the WWF (I’m thinking there was a promo for Summerslam 1993 cut out here) but wants to talk to Shawn Michaels and his new bodyguard. Michaels dubs the new bodyguard as Diesel (who had been around for all of five minutes at this point) but says he (as in Michaels) does the talking.

Steiner Brothers/Smoking Gunns vs. Money Inc./Headshrinkers

Welcome to the death slot guys. Scott and DiBiase start things off with Scott getting the better of things and sending DiBiase outside. Rick sends him back in, where Scott hits a Steiner Line out to the floor. Back in again (thanks Rick) and it’s off to Fatu vs. Bart, with latter of whom hits a dropkick into an armbar. Bart makes the mistake of ramming him head first into the mat, earning a shot to the face from Fatu.

IRS comes in for a back elbow and it’s back to DiBiase for a nice suplex. Samu drops a headbutt and a backbreaker gets two. IRS’ top rope right hand connects as IRS is fascinated by Money Inc.’s briefcase. Bart gets in a shot of his own though and it’s off to Billy to clean house. The Million Dollar Dream cuts Billy off though, only for DiBiase to let him go for some reason. Billy grabs a quick small package for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. There’s nothing to see here as the idea was just to put people in the ring after the big devastating title change. That’s what you need to do in a spot like this, even if the match meant pretty much nothing. It’s kind of a shame too, as there were some good tag teams in there.

Post match the brawl is on with the good guys cleaning house in a hurry. The Steiners would win the titles from Money Inc. the next day (and lose then two days later, only to win them back again three days later).

Jack Tunney congratulates Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji on the win. Fuji brags about doing exactly what they said they would do.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Crush

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending. They take their time to start until Crush grabs a headlock and then shoulders him down. The headlock goes on again before some leapfrogs frustrated Michaels. The superkick misses and Crush hits a pair of dropkicks to put him out on the floor. Back in and Crush gorilla presses him (with reps) and drops Michaels so casually that it’s kind of funny.

There’s the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and Diesel pulls Michaels to the floor for a breather. Crush goes after him but gets in a staredown with Diesel, allowing Michaels to get in a diving shot off the apron. Diesel sends Crush head first into the post and Michaels rams Crush’s head into the post over and over (GEEZ).

Back in and Crush actually kicks out so Michaels grabs a front facelock. That’s broken up with pure power as Crush sends him out to the floor and then swats away a dive off the top. Crush hits a big boot and drops the leg for two (not a good combination on this show)….and we have two Doinks. The distraction (it could be their cigars) lets Michaels hit a superkick to the back of the head to send Crush into the buckle and retain at 11:15.

Rating: C+. I’ve long since had a soft spot for Crush and I could have gone for seeing him do something more. Maybe not being the guy getting the Luger spot, but doing something else could have been interesting. This was memorable due to the RAM CRUSH’S HEAD INTO THE POST spot but there was pretty much no way that Michaels was losing when his new bodyguard was getting his big debut.

Bam Bam Bigelow is fresh and ready to become the first King Of The Ring. Short and to the point here.

King Of The Ring Finals: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Bret Hart

Hart is pretty banged up with a band hand and a slight limp. Bigelow goes with the big forearms to the back to start but Hart counters a gorilla press into a crossbody for two. More pounding drops Hart again and Bigelow launches him over the top for a big crash. Back in and Bigelow slowly hammers away, setting up a hard whip into the corner (back first for a change). Thankfully JR is right there to sell the impact and the pain, which is where he shines like few others.

A jumping elbow gives Bigelow two and we hit the bearhug. That’s broken up and they go outside, where Hart reverses a whip into the barricade. Back up and Hart is rammed into the post so Bigelow goes back inside. Cue Luna Vachon with a chair to drop Hart again but he actually makes it back inside. The top rope headbutt gives Bigelow the pin and the crown at 9:27….but here is another referee to point out the chair shot.

For some reason that isn’t a DQ and instead we keep going. Bigelow isn’t happy and hammers away again, with a headbutt knocking Hart silly again. The bearhug goes on again so Hart escapes, only to get headbutted into an over the shoulder backbreaker. That’s broken up as well and somehow Hart manages a belly to back suplex. Bigelow misses a backsplash and Hart fights up again, this time with a dropkick out to the floor.

The slingshot dive hits Bigelow and Hart hammers away as this feels like his last shot. Back in and a middle rope clothesline gives Hart two and the middle rope bulldog gets the same. The Sharpshooter is broken up so Hart tries another belly to back, with Bigelow landing on him (nice call back to earlier in the match) for two. Back up and Hart gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a victory roll for the pin at 18:21.

Rating: B+. Just in case you needed another great Hart match to close things out. As usual, Hart can do some of his best work against a monster and also as usual, he knows how to make you believe that he’s near death before making the comeback. Having Bigelow get a pin in there was kind of weird, but Hart was cheated to make it happen so it hardly brought anything down.

Post match Randy Savage runs in to hug Hart and they RUSH him over to the platform for the coronation. Hart gets the robe and the crown…and Jerry Lawler comes in, saying he’s the only king in the WWF. Lawler offers him the chance to kiss his feet, but Hart asks why he was never in the tournament in the first case. Hart starts the BURGER KING chant and Lawler jumps him from behind, beating him down with the scepter and kicking off a two year feud. JR is AGHAST and Lawler kicks Hart in the face, which he says is making Hart kick the royal feet. Hart is out to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s so weird to see a show divided in half between Bret Hart and everything without Bret Hart. This was a one man all star performance from Hart, who had three awesome matches and…well everything else. What was the best match without him? The Intercontinental Title match I guess, and even that was just decent. Absolutely incredible work from Hart, with the Perfect match being outstanding, and not much else in the way of quality.

At the same time though, it’s a huge change of course though with Yokozuna taking the title back and getting rid of Hogan, who would be off to Hollywood and then WCW. That’s quite the big night, with Hart pretty clearly turning into the next star…but we had to deal with Luger’s face run first. In other words, 1993 WWF didn’t make a ton of sense, but Hart is awesome.

 

 

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