New Column: Those Magic Moments
Today we’re going to look at some wrestling moments that I watch from time to time, just because they make me happy.
Monday Night Raw – October 11, 1999: As 1999 As You Can Get
Monday Night Raw
Date: October 11, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 33,375
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Well this is an upgrade. We’re in a huge stadium and it happens to be the last Raw before No Mercy, where HHH will defend the WWF Title against Steve Austin. Other than that, the Terri Invitational Tournament continues with Edge and Christian facing the Hardy Boyz in one cool match after another. Let’s get to it.
Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.
We open with a tribute to Gorilla Monsoon, who passed away last week. That’s a big one, especially for people who grew up in the Golden Era.
Opening sequence.
Here is Vince McMahon, who is very happy to be here in Atlanta (WCW’s hometown of course) and wastes no time in bringing out Steve Austin for a chat. Austin says he’s been gone for a few months and it’s because of HHH and that’s all changing tonight. For the last few months, HHH has been attacking Jim Ross and a rattlesnake in a bag.
Neither of those are Austin though and he isn’t scared of anything HHH is doing. Austin wants HHH out here right now so here he is, with the fans not being happy to see him. They argue over the fans getting on HHH, who says that Austin knows he can’t win at No Mercy. No one here can beat HHH…and yeah sure he’ll fight Austin right now.
Or instead he’ll go outside and shove JR’s hat off. This time JR actually gets up and hits him with a fan, allowing Austin to come outside for the real fight. They get back inside, with JR hammering on HHH some more until Chyna makes the save. Austin lays Chyna out so HHH issues the challenge for the tag match tonight. And of course Austin and JR are in.
There are a bunch of bulldogs in the back. Georgia bulldogs?
An annoyed Mankind is pacing in the back.
We look at Mankind and the Rock getting into a fight/argument on Smackdown.
Billy Gunn vs. Crash Holly
Road Dogg and Hardcore Holly are here too, with Dogg calling out the Hollys for not being real super heavyweights. Gunn hammers away in the corner to start and grabs a Jackhammer (or Jackknife according to JR) for two. The other two get in a fight on the floor and Gunn hits a Fameasser for the pin at 50 seconds. I don’t think Crash got in a single bit of offense.
Post match Hardcore brings in the scales to hit the Outlaws in the face.
Mankind is rather proud of his guest appearance on G vs. E last night but he wants to talk about the Rock on Smackdown. Maybe he wanted to hit the Rock with a chair because one of them isn’t a team player. There is no I in team, Rock or Sock and he needs a commitment from the Rock before he can move forward with the team’s endorsement deals.
Mae Young vs. Ivory
Non-title. Before the match, Ivory complains about how annoying Young and Fabulous Moolah have been, even threatening to beat the regularity out of her. Ivory hits her in the back with a belt before the bell, right in front of the referee, who says the bell can ring anyway. Moolah runs in and jumps Ivory for…well I guess a no contest at about 30 seconds as the bell didn’t ring.
Post match Moolah beats Ivory up until she runs off.
Jim Ross calls the Rock and tells him about Mankind’s issues from Smackdown. Rock doesn’t really care and he’s on his way to the show, where he’ll turn the Georgia Dome upside down. Wouldn’t that make it a Georgia Pit?
British Bulldog has no idea why those dogs are here and doesn’t care about the Rock and Mankind tonight. At No Mercy, he’s beating the Rock to get closer to the WWF Title.
We look at Stephanie McMahon getting hit in the head at Rebellion and seemingly losing her memory.
Earlier today, Stephanie (with Shane McMahon) sat down and said she can’t remember anything happening to her in the short term. She can’t remember any of the feelings she has for Test and Shane has to calm her down.
Val Venis and the British Bulldog jump Mankind and leave him laying.
Mark Henry and a woman arrive in a limo.
Edge & Christian vs. New Brood
This is the fourth match in the Terri Invitational Tournament (Edge & Christian are up 2-1) and Lilian Garcia describes this as a “non…..tag team match.” Also can we please just get to them being the Hardys already and drop the New Brood stuff? It’s a brawl to start with the Hardys getting sent into the corners for some running shots.
Matt fights back and stomps Christian down in the corner, with Jeff hitting a springboard moonsault. The flipping splash/falling punch combination hits Christian, with Jeff adding a legdrop in the ropes. Jeff: “DID YOU SEE ME???” Uh yeah, yeah we did Jeff. Back in and both Hardys miss something off the top, allowing the tag off to Edge. Matt grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for two but Edge gives Matt a Downward Spiral.
It just happens to be right in front of Jeff, who comes off the top with a Swanton for the save. Christian Unprettiers Jeff (Lawler: “Can you do that JR?”) and Matt dives off the top to take Edge out. Jeff dives onto the two of them and Edge’s running flip dive hits both Hardys. They all brawl on the floor and it’s a double DQ at 4:56. Kind of odd to see that instead of a countout but it’s the same thing for all intent and purpose.
Rating: B-. That’s probably going to be the match of the night and that shouldn’t be a surprise. These guys are clearly giving everything they have now that they are getting the chance. As it turns out, it’s working very well, which is saying a lot when this was one of the lesser of their series.
X-Pac demands Kane not come out to the ring during his match no matter what.
The Rock finally arrives and post break, says he doesn’t care Mankind feels about the team. As for the British Bulldog, Rock isn’t just another nobody and no one cares about Bulldog anyway. Bulldog is nothing and apparently Rock has brought those dogs to the show for whatever reason.
He can’t seem to remember his catchphrase, going through some Flair, Savage and Hogan before getting it right. Cue Mankind who wants an answer right now. Rock tells him what to do with his gear and where to put it but here is Vince McMahon to give them a match against Val Venis and the British Bulldog. Rock says tonight is about winning one for the scooper, which has Mankind confused.
X-Pac vs. Faarooq
During the entrances, we get a statement from the Drozdov family, thanking the fans for wishing Droz well. That’s kind of random but it’s still nice to hear. There’s no Kane here but Bradshaw is here with Faarooq, who gets kicked in the corner to start things fast. Faarooq is right back up with a whip into the corner and gets two off a backbreaker.
The powerslam gives Faarooq two and we hit the bearhug as Kane is watching backstage. X-Pac gets out and kicks away before avoiding an elbow in the corner. Bradshaw gets up for a distraction but X-Pac escapes the Dominator and sends them into each other. The X-Factor finishes Faarooq at 3:20.
Rating: C+. This is about as far as I can go with X-Pac hanging in there against a powerhouse, with Faarooq being someone who can lose to him without it going too far. The good thing is that X-Pac is a rather talented star and someone who could get fans behind him. At the same time, the X Factor still doesn’t feel like a great finisher and that isn’t helping things here.
Post match the beatdown is on but Kane comes out…to stay on the stage, even as X-Pac is double powerbombed. Bradshaw puts X-Pac on top but Kane finally runs in for the save. The ungrateful X-Pac is mad at Kane for helping him out. You know, Kane has a match on Sunday too so stop being a selfish jerk.
We look at the setup for the tag match and JR heads to the back to get ready.
We look at Mark Henry’s second sex therapy session, with the therapist (the woman from earlier) saying we need to go extreme to make it work, even starting tonight. Henry likes the idea and busts out some handcuffs, but the therapist isn’t happy.
Michael Cole replaces JR on commentary.
Chris Jericho/Curtis Hughes vs. Headbangers
This is the Headbangers’ reunion after a pretty horrible attempt at a solo run for Mosh. Jericho and Mosh start things off, with Mosh launching him into a hot shot. Jericho gets hung up in the ropes for a jumping splash from Thrasher. Back up and a butterfly backbreaker plants Thrasher to put him in trouble for a change.
It’s off to Hughes, who gets clotheslined by Mosh, followed by a double clothesline for a double down. Mosh comes back in and has to be saved from the Walls. Hughes runs Jericho over by mistake so Jericho hits him right back and walks out. The Stage Dive (and a bad one at that) finishes Hughes at 3:21.
Rating: C. So that’s it for the Hughes/Jericho partnership and that’s about how it should have gone. Hughes felt like he was dragging things down for Jericho and it’s good to see Jericho getting away from him to be free. The Headbangers being back was nice to see as well, but it’s not like they were ever a great team in the first place.
Big Show is upset in the back when D’Lo Brown comes up to check on him. Show’s father has terminal cancer and Brown says he’s there for him anytime. Well that got a lot more serious.
Rock has Mankind sweep up the dogs’ waste and put it on a big tray.
Godfather vs. Mark Henry
Godfather has about thirty women with him this time…because this is a Ho Jack match. Apparently this is the sex therapist’s idea of extreme measures to cure Henry of his addictions. Sweet goodness how 1999 can a show be? Henry is sent outside where he seems to enjoy the women’s company. Back in and Henry gets beaten up, only to be distracted by the women again. The Ho Train sets up a rollup to pin Henry at 1:28.
Post match Henry is jumped by the women and Henry couldn’t seem happier.
HHH, with Chyna, says Steve Austin should always be worried about him and it’s going to be a good piece of business for JR. HHH doing a JR impression is a rather disturbing thing.
Big Boss Man vs. Big Show
Before the match, Boss Man says he doesn’t care about Show’s problems because Boss Man is the real problem. Even Lawler thinks that’s too far and here is a rather emotional Show. A superkick drops Boss Man in the aisle and the bell rings, with Show hitting a flying shoulder inside. Boss Man hits him with the nightstick for the DQ at 36 seconds.
Post match the beatdown is on until Al Snow runs in for the save but gets beaten down as well.
Mankind has collected quite a bit of waste.
HHH/Chyna vs. Jim Ross/Steve Austin
Lawler loses it over JR having his wrists taped. Austin, in street clothes, finally bothers coming to help and brawls on the stage with HHH. They fight back to ringside, where Chyna and JR are nowhere to be seen. HHH gets whipped into the steps and Austin even dives off the steps with a right hand. They fight out into the crowd as Chyna is beating JR up back in the ring. Austin and HHH brawl out of the back of the building as Lawler loves JR getting stomped by Chyna (Lawler: “He always had a foot fetish!”).
Chyna gives JR a Pedigree but here is Jeff Jarrett to hit her with a toaster. Miss Kitty wheels down a laundry cart and Jarrett throws Chyna inside before wheeling her away. Austin and HHH brawl back into the arena, with Austin throwing him into a beer stand. Naturally Austin stops to have a beer and then goes to celebrate at ringside as I guess the match just ended. I’m not sure it ever started but when has that ever stopped them?
Rating: C-. I guess there was a match in there? Maybe? Somewhere? This felt like a way to get Austin officially on the card for a stadium show without having him have to really wrestle. That’s about all you can do if he’s that banged up and you don’t want to risk him getting hurt even worse. JR was barely a factor here, with Chyna’s weird status as a hero at some points and a villain at other times is still weird.
In the back, Jarrett shoves the laundry cart off a ledge and into the parking lot. Post break, Chyna is helped by medics.
Oh and I guess Jim Ross was eaten by rabid ferrets or something.
Val Venis/British Bulldog vs. Rock N Sock Connection
Naturally Mankind brings out the dog waste and I think you know where this is going. Cole: “This should be a good one.” Based on what? Nothing about this seems good, and Mankind almost being knocked onto the tray to start isn’t changing my mind. They get inside where Venis hammers away in the corner with Bulldog getting in his shots as well. A running faceplant puts Venis down for two and it’s off to Rock to hammer away in the corner.
Rock hits his big clothesline to cut Venis off again and it’s already back to Mankind. The general clubbering continues until Rock comes back in and gets elbowed by Venis. Rock fights back on Bulldog in the corner but the Rock Bottom is broken up. That means Venis’ fisherman’s suplex gets two so Rock gives him the Samoan drop to even things back up.
Mankind comes back in with a double arm DDT to Venis as everything breaks down. The brawl heads out to the floor and Mankind loads up Mr. Socko to chase Venis up the ramp. That leaves Rock to grab the tray and throw it inside, where Bulldog is Rock Bottomed onto said tray. Well onto what is on the tray. The People’s Elbow is loaded up…but Rock just stops and poses instead as I guess we’re done at around 8:15.
Rating: C-. Well, it was in fact a match and they had more time than any other match on the card, but how good was this going to be? They were mainly focusing on the tray and teasing the big spot with the thing. It’s also another match without an actual fall, because Venis is getting a singles match on pay per view in six days so he can’t take a pin here.
HHH jumps Austin in the back but Austin has a rattlesnake waiting on him.
We get some Extra Attitude, meaning a clip from after the show, which is Austin coming out to drink beer (and pour some of it on the dog waste). JR comes out and drinks some as well. The only thing I get out of this: Austin’s ability to catch beers with one hand is still incredibly impressive. This really didn’t do much whatsoever and didn’t need to be included.
Overall Rating: D+. There were some ok matches on here, but the focal points were two tag matches which didn’t end with an actual fall and the big deals at the end were dog waste and a snake. That’s in addition to a Ho Jack match and Ivory feuding with Moolah and Mae Young. While Vince Russo is officially gone, there are still a lot of remnants of him hanging around (though the dog thing had to be a Vince McMahon idea) and this show was a rough watch as a result.
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WrestleMania Count-Up – WrestleMania XV (2015 Redo): Crashing and Burning
Wrestlemania XV
Date: March 28, 1999
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 20,276
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Outside of the main event, we have the stable war (a Russo staple) between McMahon’s Corporation and the Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness. The big match in the feud here is a Hell in a Cell match between Undertaker and Big Boss Man which is going to be even worse than it sounds. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show will be replaced by Sunday Night Heat, the regular Sunday night show, for the next several years.
Sunday Night Heat: Ivory vs. Jacqueline
Ivory is a manager who could wrestle as well and Jacqueline is a member of the Pretty Mean Sisters. There’s no subtlety here: Ivory is wrestling in a bikini. Fellow PMS member Terri Runnels (formerly known as Marlena) sits in on commentary to rip on Ivory’s attire. Jacqueline jumps her to start but Ivory knocks her into the corner, only to have Jacqueline complain of a thumb to the eye. A belly to back suplex gives Jacqueline the pin out of nowhere at 1:24. That sounds like an injury stoppage.
Terri puts her cigar out in Ivory’s face post match.
Sunday Night Heat: Battle Royal
Bradshaw, Faarooq, Droz, Godfather, Steve Blackman, Brian Christopher, Scott Taylor, Test, Hawk, Animal, 8-Ball, Skull, Gillberg, D’Lo Brown, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Mideon, Tiger Ali Singh, Viscera, Rocco Rock, Johnny Grunge
Most of the names you might not recognize here aren’t important enough to identify. The idea here is that the final two men in the match will receive a Tag Team Title shot during the pay per view. That’s how bad the division is at this point: they can’t even have a regular team challenge for the belts, even when there are multiple regular teams in this match. Tag Team Champions Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett sit in on commentary.
Everyone goes after Rock and Grunge (a famous ECW tag team known as Public Enemy and therefore the crowd favorites) and put them out in about five seconds. A group of people get rid of Viscera (the giant formerly known as Mabel) but he pulls Gillberg out to make himself feel better. Animal, Skull and 8-Ball are put out and Hawk (with a full head of hair) goes out as well. Taylor is eliminated as Owen and Jarrett actually play some favorites for a change.
Singh eliminates Faarooq in a big upset, only to be thrown out a few seconds later. Both Hardys (they don’t mean much yet) follow him out and Mideon (formerly Phineas Godwinn, now part of the Ministry) is out a few seconds later. There goes Christopher and there’s nothing going on between these eliminations. Blackman and Bradshaw go out together, leaving us with Godfather, Droz, Test and Brown. Droz and Godfather go out together as well, leaving Test and Brown as the winners at 4:16.
Rating: F. A twenty one man battle royal that doesn’t even make four and a half minutes? Normally I would be thrilled but this was so fast paced that it was barely even a match. Test and Brown winning shows the booking style of Russo very well as they have no connection to each other and now they’re the #1 contenders to the Tag Team Titles on the biggest show of the year.
Boyz II Men sing America the Beautiful.
The opening video is narrated by the legendary Freddie Blassie and talks about how these men will be legends like the gods of ancient Greece and cause a variety of emotions but they’ll never let us forget them. Tonight is their night. Welcome to Wrestlemania: the showcase of the immortals. Outstanding.
The set is unique this year as it’s the Wrestlemania logo (the word Wrestle over the word Mania with XV behind it) and nothing else.
Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn
So here’s another brilliant Russo idea. For weeks leading up to this, Gunn’s partner Road Dogg had been in a three way feud for the Hardcore Title with Snow (a crazy man who happens to be a great technical wrestler) and Holly (formerly Bob). At the same time, Gunn was in a four way feud for the Intercontinental Title which we’ll get to later.
Then the decision was made to swap Dogg into the Intercontinental Title feud and Gunn into the Hardcore Title feud (with Gunn winning the title and defending here), thereby giving the champions no reason to feud with their challengers and taking away the logical payoffs. Welcome to Wrestlemania XV and it’s downhill from here.
It’s a brawl to start (as it should be in this match) and they all head to the floor. Snow sends Gunn knees first into the steps for a great flipping crash, leaving the real hardcore guys to fight up the aisle. Gunn is back up to stomp both guys down but Snow comes back with a hockey stick (fans: “LET’S GO FLYERS!”). They head inside again and Snow starts channeling Steve Blackman’s martial arts demonstrations by swinging around a piece of a broken broom.
Snow uses a chair as a launch pad to slam into Gunn, drawing an ECW chant in the process. Now it’s time for Snow to clean house with Head (a mannequin head that talked to him. Just go with it and move along.) and here’s a table in the corner. The champ gets back up and throws Al through the table (wrestling law #3: if you set up a table, you’re going through it.). The Fameasser takes Snow down again but Holly hits Billy in the back with a chair and steals the pin and the title at 7:07.
Rating: D. Just as I said: there’s no reason for this match to be happening and Gunn was out of his element. Dogg, Holly and Snow had built up a fun feud over the Hardcore Title with creative spots and weapons, but Gunn was just a guy hitting people with stuff and then doing his regular moves. It took away the logical payoff for the sake of surprise and that’s rarely a good thing with this match as an example.
Merchandise plug.
Tag Team Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett
Brown (with Ivory, sporting a bandage from the cigar attack on Heat) and Test (part of the Corporation) are challenging of course. Debra has Lawler and Cole drooling in a bikini and sport coat. It’s a mess to start until Brown runs Jeff over a few times. Test and Owen are quickly in with Brown having to break up the Sharpshooter attempt.
That ticks Test off for some reason so D’Lo comes in, only to eat a spinwheel kick from Owen. Test: “OPEN YOUR EYES!” Brown comes back with a double clothesline and a short powerbomb (not quite the Low Down) for two on Jeff. Everything breaks down and the girls start fighting, allowing Owen to sneak in with a missile dropkick to pin Brown at 3:58.
Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t bad but again: what was the point? This is Wrestlemania, not some house show that no one is going to see. Brown and Test never had any major interactions after this, making this even more worthless. Owen and Jarrett were a decent enough team but they desperately needed opponents. Like say Mideon/Viscera, the Acolytes, the Hardy Boyz, Too Cool etc. As in the other teams in the battle royal but why do that when you can have a random team that makes no sense?
We recap Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn in a Brawl For All match. So back in 1998, the WWF lost its mind and decided to have a shoot toughman competition which was designed to be won by Dr. Death Steve Williams, a legitimate brawler and the Brock Lesnar of the 1980s. However, Bart Gunn shocked the world (or no one who knew his background as a toughman fighter but why pay attention to something like that) and won the thing.
That’s not what the company wanted though, so they put him on the shelf for a few months and gave us this as a payoff. Keep in mind that several competitors were injured during the tournament and missed significant time, including some people who never appeared for the company again. Butterbean is a legitimate professional boxer who weighs about 400lbs and this is a shoot fight. It’s billed as a Brawl For All which had an overly complicated points system but I don’t think it’s going to matter.
Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn
Professional boxer Vinny Pazienza is guest referee. Boxing trainer Kevin Rooney, former boxer Chuck Wepner (the inspiration for Rocky Balboa) and Gorilla Monsoon (very sick here and a few months away from death) are the guest judges. Butterbean caves Bart’s face in before Lawler can make his prediction but Bart gets up….only to take one of the best looking right hands to the face that you’ll ever see. Bart is out before he crashes onto the ropes and then the mat to end this at 37 seconds. Again: shoot match against a professional, making this the biggest waste of a potential payoff.
Since this took about two minutes all together, the San Diego Chicken (sports mascot) shows up to annoy Pazienza, who knocks him out with one punch.
Mankind and “The Big Show” Paul Wight brawled on Heat earlier tonight.
Mankind promises to beat up Big Show again.
Paul Wight vs. Mankind
The winner is guest referee in the main event and Mankind comes out in a white shirt with referee stripes spray painted on. There’s actually a backstory here as Show, a Corporation member, chokeslammed Mankind to cost him the WWF World Title last month. Mankind goes right after him to start and is quickly sent to the floor. That’s fine with Mankind though as he sends Big Show head first into the steps, only to be rammed into them a few seconds later.
Back in and it’s time for the giant to slowly hammer away but the Mandible Claw (with Mr. Socko) puts him in trouble. A low blow puts Show on his knees but the Claw can’t get him down. He even stands up and falls backwards onto Mankind, crushing his ribs in a sick looking landing. Show grabs some chairs to drive into Mankind’s ribs before setting them up in the middle of the ring. A big chokeslam puts Mankind through both chairs and that’s a DQ (FINALLY) at 6:48.
Rating: D. Again this felt like a lame Raw main event instead of what should have been a big Wrestlemania match. Also, you might expect a match with a former World Champion and a monster who had been involved in the World Title scene just a few weeks ago might break eight minutes but it really didn’t get close. Only in 1999, because no one else would think this was a smart idea.
Mankind is now guest referee so Vince comes out, for some reason on a very quiet wireless microphone. He yells at Show for screwing up the plan and almost gets chokeslammed. Always one to push his luck, Vince slaps him in the face and gets punched in the jaw. Again, this really does feel like a Raw segment. Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco (Vince’s goons) come out to carry Vince to the back as Mankind is stretchered out. Will he be able to referee tonight? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT, because they’re doing an angle that will be paid off in less than two hours.
Once in the back, Vince wants Show arrested for assault in ANOTHER angle on this show.
Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust vs. Val Venis
Here’s the other half of the midcard title swap. So Shamrock has a good looking sister named Ryan, who Billy Gunn hit on. That ticked Ken off so he beat Gunn up and feuded with him over Shamrock’s Intercontinental Title. Venis then won both Ryan and the title with Gunn acting as guest referee (another Russo trope) and counting the pin.
Then Venis dumped Ryan so she hooked up with Goldust. Road Dogg won the Intercontinental Title from Venis and took Billy’s place in the announced four way elimination title match at Wrestlemania. So Shamrock wants to beat up Venis and Goldust for going after his sister, Goldust wants the title, Venis has been fighting all of them and wants his title back and Road Dogg is defending. Oh and Goldust’s other lackey the Blue Meanie (comedy goof) is jealous of Goldust for giving Ryan so much attention. Got all that?
Shamrock whips Dogg around the ring to start but the champ dropkicks him in the face and tags in Goldust, who gets to face Venis. The announcers talk about the fake tournament for the first Intercontinental Title as Venis flips out of the Curtain Call (Goldust needs to find a new finisher already), only to get dropped again. Meanie yells at Ryan as Venis gets two off a top rope bulldog and a fisherman’s suplex.
Venis falls head first into a low blow but Dogg comes in with a DDT to Val for no apparent reason. It’s off to Dogg legally for the Shake Rattle and Roll (some dancing punches, not the neckbreaker) to Val. He celebrates a bit too much though and gets suplexed down for two. That earns Venis an ankle lock from Shamrock but Val holds on for a LONG time and eventually sends Shamrock outside.
Ryan yells at her brother until Venis goes outside for a brawl and a double countout. Ken comes back in and suplexes Dogg and Goldust to leave both guys laying. This gives me a chance to point out how stupid this is considering they have no issues, making this yet another bad decision. Back up and Ryan trips Goldust by mistake (allegedly, as Dogg was nowhere near Goldust), allowing Dogg to roll through a powerslam attempt for the pin to retain at 9:54.
Rating: D+. The match was ok enough but the stories are such a mess/non-existent that I spent most of the time trying to figure out if I liked this or not. The match wouldn’t have been much better if they hadn’t swapped the Outlaws but at least it would have made sense. Oh and to make it better: Goldust beat Dogg for the title the next night on Raw because that show is more important than this one.
Goldust rips into Ryan post match.
Big Show is arrested.
We recap HHH vs. Kane. Chyna had turned on the now good DX to hook up with Kane but Kane accidentally hit her with a fireball. HHH stood up for Chyna by dressing up like Goldust and using a freaking flamethrower to burn Kane, causing flashbacks to the fire that burned Kane as a child. You might think they’re overdoing it here, but this is tame compared to what’s coming.
HHH vs. Kane
Before the match, the San Diego Chicken attacks Kane. This goes badly, because it’s PETE ROSE again, who takes his second Tombstone in two years. HHH is smart enough to sneak in through the crowd to low blow Kane and we start fast. They did a good job of covering it up too as HHH’s pyro equipment was in the ring. That’s a nice little touch that you wouldn’t get today.
They head outside and Kane clotheslines the post by mistake, followed by a whip into the steps. Back in and Kane boots HHH in the face before throwing him out to the floor. Cole: “Like a sack of potatoes.” Lawler: “I don’t think you can throw a sack of potatoes that far.” So HHH is easier to throw than a sack of potatoes?
HHH’s back is rammed into the post a few times and Kane slows things down to his normal pace. A legdrop (called a foot across the sternum by Cole) looks to set up the top rope clothesline but HHH pulls him down out of desperation. The jumping knee to the face drops Kane (he’s softened up a lot in the last year) and here’s Chyna.
The Pedigree is countered and both guys are down so Chyna slides the stairs into the ring. Kane picks them up but HHH kicks them into his face and drop toeholds Kane face first into the steel. HHH can’t hit the Pedigree onto the steps and Kane plants him with the chokeslam. Chyna gets on the apron with a chair though….and hits Kane for the DQ to rejoin HHH at 11:33.
Rating: C. Not a bad match here and probably the best the two of them have ever had, which isn’t the biggest bar to reach. It’s really weird to see Kane fall this far in just a year but at least the HHH and Chyna reunion was a cool moment. You would have expected some fire to be involved here but it’s very refreshing to just have a match instead.
HHH lays Kane out with the chair and a Pedigree post match before officially reuniting with Chyna to a big pop.
Vince says he’ll referee the main event.
Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori
Sable, now a heel after basically having gone Hollywood, is defending. Tori (not Torrie Wilson) was a crazed fan who wound up getting a title shot because this division was weaker than the tag teams. For reasons that aren’t clear, Tori is in a Giant Gonzalez style body suit, minus the fur at least. Sable won’t let her get in to start so Tori pulls her to the floor and sends the champ into the apron.
A cross body off the apron mostly misses as Lawler wants to see Sable’s grind dance. He gets his wish but Tori clotheslines her down and hits some of the worst forearms I’ve seen in years. Tori only mostly screws up a sunset flip out of the corner for two. The referee gets bumped which is probably much better than trying to have a regular match here. Cue a monster named Nicole Bass to lay out Tori with a gorilla press, followed by the Sable Bomb to retain the title at 5:01.
Rating: F. There’s no way around this one as neither of them had any business being in there and it showed badly. Sable turning heel was a horrible idea as she fell down the card and was gone in just a few months due to a lot of backstage issues. Tori found her calling as a valet who thankfully almost never wrestled and after this disaster I couldn’t be more thankful. Bass never did anything other than lame comedy.
Video on Shane McMahon with the Mean Street Posse (Shane’s goofy friends) talking about how tough Shane was growing up in Greenwich, Connecticut. This was actually funny.
DX says they’re reunited and X-Pac (formerly the 1-2-3 Kid) is getting the European Title back. Shane McMahon (Vince’s incredibly athletic son) started going after X-Pac and eventually stole the title from him in a tag match. This is the one on one rematch.
European Title: X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon
Shane is defending and has Test in his corner. Patterson and Brisco fail at attacking X-Pac during the entrances so Shane has to run. He celebrates over a leapfrog, earning him a kick to the face. Test saves Shane from the Bronco Buster and crotches X-Pac against the post as the Mean Street Posse watch from the front row. Back in and Shane hammers away but misses a Corporate Elbow.
Instead he whips X-Pac with a belt until a backdrop puts the champ on the floor. The Posse saves Shane but he gets crotched on the top rope, setting up a superplex for two. Shane distracts the referee in the corner so Test can take X-Pac’s head off with the European Title for a very close near fall. Now it’s Shane missing a Bronco Buster, drawing in Test for another save. Cue HHH and Chyna to even things up….before turning on X-Pac with a Pedigree, allowing Shane to retain at 8:43.
Rating: C-. This is a bit higher as Shane isn’t a wrestler. He’s still a very glorified rookie at this point and his athleticism was very impressive considering he was only wrestling on occasion. That being said, the story was just so stupid as Chyna turned face just half an hour ago, making the whole thing a total mess entirely designed around shock value instead of anything that made sense. On top of that Shane keeps the title, which he would vacate a week later. Therefore, X-Pac loses twice, doesn’t get his revenge, and gets laid out while a non-wrestler gets away with everything after everyone is confused by all the turns. Again: Russo.
Post match the Outlaws make the save until Kane comes out to chase HHH off. The Outlaws shout to Lawler that HHH is done. He would be done with the midcard at least as he would win his first WWF World Title in August.
We recap the Big Boss Man vs. Undertaker, which is just a side story of Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker has gone insane and has been stalking Vince’s family, even stealing a bear from Vince’s house (later revealed to belong to his daughter Stephanie, who hadn’t debuted yet) and lighting it on fire. This was part of a MUCH bigger conspiracy that involved secret deals, hidden alliances, Vince being an even bigger psycho than anyone ever knew, and so many plot holes that it was even harder to keep track of than anything else on this show. As for tonight though, Vince is throwing in the Boss Man to take care of Undertaker.
Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man
Hell in a Cell. To give you an idea of where Undertaker is right now, here are some of the spoken words during his theme song: “Accept the lord of darkness as your savior. Allow the purity of evil to guide you.” Boss Man pounds away in the corner to start but Undertaker does the same to take over. Various shots put Undertaker down but he keeps sitting up. A double leg trip (in the Cell mind you) puts Boss Man on the floor and Undertaker rams him into the Cell a few times.
Boss Man pulls out some handcuffs to attach Undertaker to the Cell wall. Some nightstick shots break the cuffs though, making the whole thing a waste of time, like so many other things on this show. Undertaker is busted open but comes right back with chair shots to take over, busting Boss Man open in the process. Back in and Undertaker keeps up the offense as we’re waiting on the inevitable. Old School is broken up and Boss Man gets in a few shots, only to walk into the Tombstone for the pin at 9:49.
Rating: F. The sign of a bad gimmick match is when you could do the exact same match without the gimmick being involved. There’s no reason for this to be the Cell as it could have easily been done in a regular cage match instead. It didn’t help that the ending was obvious from the second the match was announced. In addition to the Boss Man being little more than a workout for Undertaker, they had already made it clear that this story was nowhere near being over, which isn’t the spot for a Cell match. Finally, a Cell match that doesn’t break ten minutes? That’s not acceptable.
Post match the Brood (Edge, Christian and Gangrel, a mini stable in the Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness) drops from the ceiling onto the roof of the Cell so they can slip the Undertaker a noose. Undertaker wraps it around Boss Man’s neck and the Cell raises up to hang Boss Man in the middle of the arena.
As Undertaker’s music is playing: Cole: “It’s been a heck of a week in Philadelphia for Wrestlemania!”, and we go to a package on the Wrestlemania Rage Party. A MAN WAS JUST HUNG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING AND IS STILL ON THE VERGE OF DYING. WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT A WRESTLEMANIA PARTY???
Jim Ross makes his return from a bout of Bell’s Palsy to announce the main event. Ross tips his hat to Cole in a nice gesture.
Vince is guest referee, but Commissioner Shawn Michaels makes a surprise appearance with referee Mike Chioda. After complaining that he had to buy a ticket to get in, Shawn tells Vince that he has to pay attention to the rulebook. The rules clearly state that only one person can appoint a referee at Wrestlemania, and I think you can guess who that is. On top of that, the Corporation is barred from ringside and if Shawn sees any of them out here, he and Vince can have a fight of their own out back. This is another angle made and written off in less than two hours.
There’s no recap for Austin vs. Rock but it’s a simple story. Rock won the WWF World Title at Survivor Series 1998 by reaffirming his heel status (he had started turning good after Summerslam but never fully switched) as he was revealed as Vince’s corporate champion. Vince won the 1999 Royal Rumble but Austin wound up with the title shot when Vince forfeited the chance. As mentioned, this is really just the latest man that Vince is throwing at Austin as part of the real feud.
That’s what gave Vince vs. Austin such longevity: Austin could keep fighting fresh opponents because they were always Vince’s latest handpicked man. Instead of fighting one man, Austin was fighting a movement. This gave it the chance to go on far longer than a one on one feud and that’s exactly what Austin vs. Vince did.
WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin
No DQ, Rock is defending and Austin comes out in a shirt due to forgetting his vest at home. This is also the Wrestlemania debut of the WWF World Title belt that debuted the night after Wrestlemania XIV. They immediately brawl to the floor to start and go into the crowd for the main event style brawl. No one can get an advantage so they fight up the aisle with Rock backdropping him knee first onto an electric light, only to be sent into the big Wrestlemania logo, making it sway in a bit of a scary moment.
The champ takes over again and spits water in Austin’s face, only to have Austin put him on the Spanish announcers’ table for an elbow. The table doesn’t break so Austin does it again to get the job done. That’s just the kind of guy he is. Now it’s Austin spitting water in Rock’s face and whipping him into the steps before they go inside for the first time in nearly ten minutes. A Rock Bottom out of nowhere gets two so it’s time for a chair.
As you might expect, the referee takes the hit instead, because this match has been entirely by the book until now. Rock uses the chair to stay on Austin’s knee and a big shot to the head gets two from a second referee. We hit the chinlock and see a replay showing Rock pulling the referee in front of the chair shot earlier on. Rock gets frustrated by a near fall so he Rock Bottoms the referee, only to walk into a Stunner for two from the third referee.
This brings out Vince for a distraction so Rock can hit a low blow. Vince punches out the referee and helps double team Austin until Mick Foley hobbles to the ring to be the fourth referee. The Thesz press takes Rock down but there’s another Rock Bottom. Rock misses the Corporate Elbow and the Stunner gives Austin the title back at 16:52. Vince looking like he’s about to cry is great.
Rating: B. It may not be the highest quality and it was more overbooked than it needed to be but it was certainly entertaining and the right kind of brawl these two needed to have. Austin winning is obvious (sign in the crowd for a lot of the match: “I bet Austin wins.”) and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s still good stuff and a very appropriate style brawl for this era. This would be forgotten later though due to their future Wrestlemania epics but this is quite good on its own.
A lot of beer is consumed, including some by Earl Hebner. JR: “He’s toasting a man who works for a living.” Vince swears at Austin and gets punched in the jaw. One more Stunner ends the show. It wouldn’t have felt right without it.
Highlight package takes us out.
Overall Rating: D. Oh this does not hold up well. Aside from the good main event, there is just WAY too much going on here with the show feeling more like Raw than a pay per view. They were booking angles that started and ended later in the show, despite the people having already paid for the show in the first place. This is definitely a show that worked better live with all the twists and turns but those really don’t hold up when you have time to look at them.
The biggest problem though is that aside from the main event, nothing feels important. You have the Tag Team Titles thrown together, the non-wrestler retaining the European Title, the midcard title merry go round and Chyna turning twice in half an hour. That’s certainly a lot of stuff happening, but how much of it is stuff that I actually want to see?
Above all else, the show moves too fast. Of the ten matches, only the main event and HHH vs. Kane break ten minutes. Nothing has a chance to sink in and that takes away a lot of the impact these matches and segments could have. Consider HHH reuniting with Chyna. Yeah it was a cool moment when it happened (albeit two months after they split in the first place) but they both turned half an hour later. How can I let either of them sink in when they happen so close together? If nothing else, it makes me wonder what they’re going to do next instead of thinking it’s over and the big finale for them on that night.
Overall, the problem here is one we’ve encountered before: it doesn’t feel like a Wrestlemania. Other than the main event, nothing feels important. Almost all of this stuff could have happened on any given episode of Raw and that’s just not right. It’s not a good Wrestlemania but there are worse ones out there. Not many of them of course but they do exist. Slow it down and give us some more important matches and the show improves a lot, but that’s a standard criticism of this era.
Ratings Comparison
Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow
Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D
D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett
Original: F+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C-
Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn
Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
Mankind vs. Big Show
Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
Ken Shamrock vs. Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Val Venis
Original: D
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
Kane vs. HHH
Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
Tori vs. Sable
Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon
Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man
Original: H (For holy goodness why was this a Cell match?)
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B
Overall Rating
Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
Individual ratings aside, it still sucks.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
And the 2013 Redo:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/24/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xv-russo-at-his-best/
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1999 (2016 Redo): It Never Gets Easy
Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
As much as last year’s show was a necessary evil, this show is just evil in general. The company is firing on all cylinders right now but it’s much more about drama than anything else. Mankind won the world title in a shocker 20 days before this, beating the Rock in an impromptu match on Raw. Tonight is the rematch in an I Quit match, which is the only match Mankind knows he can’t lose to Rock. It turns out to be one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Also the Rumble is nothing but a backdrop for Austin vs. Vince, which isn’t a good thing either. Let’s get to it.
Luckily for me, I’ve been reviewing the Raw’s leading up to this show, so the stories will actually be fresh in my mind for a change.
This version opens with some interviews by guys in the Rumble, talking about how the bounty on Austin (Vince has offered $100,000 to whoever knocks Austin out) has them extra fired up. Chyna getting #30 is also discussed.
Opening video is what you would expect. Also the theme song for this show is No Chance, which would become Vince’s theme song after tonight. The idea is that Austin is #1 in the Rumble and Vince is #2, meaning if Austin wants to go to Wrestlemania, he has to run the gauntlet.
Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg
Roadie is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title and a regular match. Dang it I forgot Boss Man is a tag champion here so I can’t call one of them a champion. Boss Man runs the ropes to start so Roadie tells him to suck it. The fans get on Boss Man so he shoves Road Dogg into the corner and pounds away. The Big guy misses a splash in the corner and Dogg pounds away. The announcers ask a very good question: why isn’t this for the title? Vince could make it for the title if he wanted, but instead he makes it non-title? Why?
Anyway, Road Dogg crotches Boss Man on the post to take over but gets knocked to the floor by an elbow. Back in and Boss Man pounds away but Dogg steps on his foot to escape. That lasts for about five seconds as Boss Man kicks him in the face to take over again. We hit the bearhug and Boss Man thrusts his hips into Dogg’s crotch. There’s an image I certainly didn’t need.
Dogg bites his way out of the hold but gets kneed right back down. The buckle pad is taken off and Boss Man gets two off a spinebuster. Boss Man wins a brief slugout and chokes away again. Lawler cheers for Boss Man but Dogg grabs a sleeper to get himself a breather. Boss Man goes up for some reason and is slammed down almost immediately. Dogg comes back with his usual and gets two off the shaky knee, but the Boss Man Slam ends this out of nowhere.
Rating: C-. Meh. That’s the only word that came to my head after watching this. At the end of the day, when the Outlaws play things seriously, they get pretty dull. Boss Man was fine in this role and he played it as he always did, but that doesn’t mean he should be having twelve minute matches with the Road Dogg. Not a bad match at all, but I don’t quite get why it existed.
We get a quick recap of Billy Gunn vs. Shamrock. Gunn hit on Ryan Shamrock (Ken’s sister) and Ken snapped, giving Billy a title shot for some reason as a result.
Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock
Surprisingly enough Gunn is the aggressor to start but Ken is a bit of a better ground fighter, giving himself control. Billy comes back with a clothesline on the double (tag/IC) champion as things slow down. A suplex gets two for Gunn but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing Ken to fire off some kicks. Ken fires off more kicks to the chest and back of Gunn and gets two off a spinwheel kick.
Billy comes back out of nowhere with the yet to be named Fameasser to buy himself a breather. He pounds away in the corner but Shamrock dumps him to the floor before pounding Billy into the barricade. The beating continues as Gunn is sent into a chair to keep Shamrock in control. They fight to the apron where Gunn makes a quick comeback, hitting a kind of Stroke into the announce table.
Back in and Shamrock goes right for the knee to take over. No ankle lock yet though as Ken busts out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things. Well if nothing else he has good taste in leg moves. For those of you younger people, it’s basically Shamrock wrapping his legs around Billy’s leg and crushing it between his own knees/legs. A HARD kick to the head puts Billy down again and we hear about Billy’s bad ankle from Raw. Not that he has tape on it or has been limping for the first ten minutes of the match or anything, but apparently he has a bad ankle.
Billy comes back with a clothesline but the referee is bumped. Cue Val Venis who also has issues with Shamrock to DDT the champion, giving Billy a two count. Gunn pounds away but goes up (with a bad ankle because he’s an idiot) and crashes on the ankle. Ankle lock and we’re done.
Rating: D+. Too long here and the Venis thing didn’t change anything at all. Billy’s ankle injury was pretty stupid because you didn’t really need the stuff from Raw to set up what happened here. Shamrock got a solid midcard push around this time and even had some cups of upper midcard coffee (only $5.95 at Starbucks!). The Corporation and DX would keep feuding for a few more months.
Shane fires Vince up in the back.
European Title: Gangrel vs. X-Pac
The vampire is challenging. This is another of those matches that is there so they can have another title match on the card, meaning there’s no story that I can think of. Road Dogg might have gotten a blood bath recently but that’s about it. They hit the ropes very quickly to start with Pac grabbing an armdrag to take over. Gangrel grabs a headlock but they speed things up almost immediately again.
Pac hits a quick legdrop but misses a kick in the corner to shift momentum again. We hit the chinlock to give the guys an earned breather. The champ fights up and gets thrown into the air for two. Gangrel misses a top rope elbow and Pac gets two off his jumping clothesline. A big spinwheel kick takes Gangrel down again and X-Pac hits the Bronco Buster.
The third spinwheel kick in about four minutes takes Gangrel down, but Pac gets crotched on the top, continuing a theme tonight. Pac tries a cross body but Gangrel rolls him through for a botched near fall by referee Teddy Long (he countered three but Pac’s shoulder was up). Not that it matters as the X Factor retains the title a few seconds later.
Rating: C+. Referee’s botch aside, this was a nice surprise. Gangrel is hardly known for his in ring abilities but he looked pretty good out there tonight. Pac was better here against a smaller guy as usual, and we got a good match out of it. After the two longer and not great matches earlier, this was a nice pick up.
DX says they’re united tonight but the $100,000 bounty makes it every man (Chyna: “And woman”) for themselves. Billy was nowhere to be seen here for some reason.
Here’s Shane to be ring announcer for the next match for no apparent reason.
Women’s Title: Luna Vachon vs. Sable
Scratch that ring announcer line as apparently he’s here to accept Sable’s forfeiture of the title. This was supposed to be a strap match which had a total of 18 seconds of build on Raw. That’s not an exaggeration either. They came out during another match and that was the only mention. Luna attacked Sable on Heat before the show tonight and injured the champ’s back, but Sable wants to fight anyway.
This is the four corners variety so Sable can look TOUGH here. Sable shoves her into the corner and whips Luna to the floor. She keeps whipping Luna and gets three corners but Luna makes the stop. We get more choking and whipping before Luna drags Sable around with both of them getting the buckles at the same time. You know, like in every other strap match EVER. Shane gets up on the apron before Sable gets the buckle, but Sable’s psycho fan Tori uses the distraction to deck Luna, giving sable the win.
Rating: D. Sable was insanely over back in 98, but at this point it was starting to wear thin. I always felt sorry for Luna who never got to win the Women’s Title. She really would have been a good choice for an evil chick for some blonde heroine to beat, but instead we got worthless lumps like Jackie. Nothing to see here but it could have been worse.
The Corporation says it’s everyone for themselves.
We recap Rock vs. Mankind, which we’ve covered already. Rock lost the title on January 4 on Raw so he wanted a rematch. Mankind kept saying no until Rock said he’d quit trying, which Mankind immediately accepted. The idea is that Mankind has never quit and has been through so much punishment that there’s nothing Rock can do to beat him.
Rock says that he isn’t just some other guy to Mankind, and he’s going to be the first man to make Mankind give up. If you’ve never seen it and have a stomach for blood, I can highly recommend the documentary Beyond the Mat, which is about the behind the scenes world in the WWF and this match is a focus of the film. This promo was being filmed by the documentary cameras and Mankind was about three feet from Rock here. More on this later.
WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind
I Quit rules here. Rock is in his workout gear, which means his male breast enlargement surgery scars haven’t quite healed yet. There isn’t a single bit of sarcasm or humor in that statement. Mankind is defending and had to fight on Heat against the 500lb Mabel. Also the champ has recently gotten his most well known theme song, but it’s still the original version here which doesn’t have the clapping in it yet.
Mankind takes over early and hits his running knee to Rock’s head in the corner. He pounds away on Rock but Rock isn’t ready to quit yet. Some mic shots to the head keep Rock down but he still won’t say it. The Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Rock gets in a shot to take over. They head to the commentary desk where Rock talks some trash to King before getting hit in the back by a chair.
Back in and there’s the double arm DDT from the champ. Mr. Socko makes an appearance to put the Claw on Rock. King: “But you can’t talk with your mouth full!” The hold puts Rock out, meaning he can’t say he quits. Not the smartest move in the world there Mick. We brawl into the crowd but Rock hits a kind of suplex to take them back to ringside. There’s the bell ringing spot (Rock puts the bell on Mankind’s head and rings said bell) before singing a bit as only Rock can pull off in the middle of a match.
Rock loads up the Rock Bottom on the table but it gives way, crashing them to the floor. They slug it out some more and head up the aisle where Mankind clotheslines Rock down. Up to the tech area now and Rock hits the snap DDT onto the concrete. It’s ladder time (almost kind of foreshadowing in a way) but Rock gets crushed underneath it before he can use it. Mankind misses an elbow drop onto the ladder and both guys are down again.
Rock sets up the ladder next to the tech area and they climb up to a ledge in front of a balcony. The slugout ensues and Mankind is knocked off the ledge and onto the electrical stuff which shoots sparks and knocks out the arena lights for a few seconds. Mankind is mostly dead on the floor so here’s Shane to come out and ask Rock to chill a bit. Rock says he’s going to make Mankind say he quits, but he won’t ask him. You know, because Mankind isn’t going to say it and Rock knows this. Cole of course doesn’t get it and whines for about five minutes about it.
We head back into the ring where Mankind is basically out on the mat. Cole: “How is Mick Foley standing?” HE’S FREAKING LAY…..never mind. It’s not worth trying to get through Cole’s thick head. Anyway, Rock finds some handcuffs and this is about to get bad. Rock starts pounding away at Mankind’s unprotected head. Somewhere in there the champ was busted open.
Mankind comes back with a pair of low blows and headbutts (remember his arms are handcuffed behind his back). Rock clotheslines him down….and grabs a chair. We get the Corporate Elbow on the chair on Mankind’s head, but that’s just the beginning. Mick won’t quit, so Rocky hits him in the head (remember, unprotected) twice with HARD chair shots. Here are three more to finally knock Mankind down and out to the floor.
Even Lawler says that’s enough, but Rock hits Mankind in the back and side of the head with the chair. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Rock has a clear shot at Mankind’s back but instead waits for him to stand up and hit him in the head again. ANOTHER shot (we’re up to about 12 now) to the head puts Foley down and Mankind SCREAMS that he quits. Note that Mankind isn’t moving an inch and there’s a noticeable echo to his voice which there hasn’t been all night. That would come into play on Raw the next night.
Rating: B. This is a REALLY hard one to grade because the last five minutes are nothing but disturbing. We saw a guy completely defenseless and having his head smashed in with a piece of metal by a world class athlete. Pre Benoit or post Benoit, that’s a completely unnecessary risk and a terrifying thing to see. I love these two fighting, but this was legitimately disturbing.
Again, if you’ve never seen it, check out Beyond the Mat. It shows Mankind’s wife and family in the audience in terror watching this, but you can only hear the sound of the chair shots. If it was a horror movie it would be absolutely chilling. Also it shows Foley in the back looking at himself after the beating and the first time he looks in a mirror he stops almost cold. This went WAY too far.
We recap the Rumble, which is literally all about Vince vs. Austin and Austin’s path back to the title which begins tonight. Vince keeps screwing Austin out of the title but he’s kept coming back to get another shot. That’s most of the year in a nutshell actually.
Earlier tonight Austin came in on a monster truck limo for no apparent reason. He got in Vince’s face earlier as well, resulting in the Stooges getting beaten up.
Royal Rumble
There’s a $100,000 bounty on Austin’s head and we have Austin at #1 and Vince at #2. I think you can see what’s coming from here. The intervals are 90 seconds here. Howard goes into a REALLY long winded explanation of the rules, causing Lawler to freak out on him. Vince of course takes the chance to show off his impressive physique. Austin immediately pounds away as Cole sums up Vince vs. Austin: “How often do you get to see an employee rip the CEO of a Fortune 500 company apart?”
Austin destroys Vince for a few moments with basic stuff until Golga is #3. There’s the Thesz Press and Golga slides in but Austin knocks him out in 15 seconds. Vince rolls to the floor and heads into the crowd with Austin chasing after him. They brawl (read as Austin punches him and Vince staggers away) up the crowd as there’s no one in the ring. Droz comes in at #4 with no one to fight. See, why did Golga have to be eliminated? It doesn’t sound great but having Droz vs. Golga is better than nothing.
Anyway, Vince and Austin brawl into the back and into a ladies’ room where the Corporation jumps Austin. Naturally the camera feed is lost so we don’t see what actually happens. We come back to the arena to see Droz just standing there. The years away from meaning anything Edge is #5 to actually give us some action. After about 45 seconds, Gillberg is #6. The hilarious entrance takes forever and Edge dumps him in about five seconds.
We cut back to the bathroom and Austin is out cold on the floor. Steve Blackman is #7 as the low level stuff continues. I mean, at the end of the day NO ONE in the ring at the moment is going to be bought as a serious contender here. Austin is being treated by EMTs as Blackman fires off kicks to Edge. Dan Severn and his wet t-shirt are #8. He and Blackman have the WWF style MMA fight as we see Austin on a stretcher. That’s about the fourth time we’ve cut to Austin and away from the ring.
Tiger Ali Singh (think an Indian Ted DiBiase with ZERO charisma) is #9 as we see the ambulance drive away. The five nothings in the ring continue to waste our time until Blue Meanie is #10. Again in way less than 90 seconds, there’s no #11. We cut to the back (running theme tonight) and see Mabel beating up Mosh to take his place in the match. He immediately dumps Severn and Blackman plus Singh. There go Meanie and Droz, leaving us with Edge, Mabel and Road Dogg who is #12. Road Dogg dumps Edge and there go the lights.
Taker’s music hits and we have the Acolytes and Mideon in the ring beating up Mabel. They dump him out, yet AGAIN leaving us with just one person standing there. Taker and Bearer pop up and stare down Mabel, apparently hypnotizing him, which would lead to Mabel becoming Viscera. Gangrel is #13 with his rocking entrance music. There goes Gangrel so we stand around a bit more.
Kurrgan is #14 and destroys Dogg with power stuff. Psycho Al Snow is #15 and helps double team Kurrgan. Snow tries to get on the ropes for more leverage and is immediately dumped by Dogg. Goldust is #16 and Kurrgan gets double teamed again. With the big man down, Roadie tries Shattered Dreames on Goldie. Kurrgan saves Goldust for no apparent reason and it’s Dogg that goes down instead.
Godfather is #17 but the Ho’s leave, ticking off the fans. After about 30 seconds of Godfather being in the ring, here’s Kane at #18 to FINALLY give us some star power. The ring is cleared in about 30 seconds and the place goes nuts for Kane. Since having Kane as a dominant monster to set up a showdown with another big name would be interesting, the people from the insane asylum come out to try to institutionalize Kane (just go with it), so he eliminates himself.
Shamrock is #19 with no one to fight. Vince comes back out to do commentary. Billy Gunn limps to the ring at #20 and is immediately taken down with a leg shot. The beating goes on for awhile until Test is #21. We cut to the back (AGAIN) to see Mabel being beaten into a hearse. An ambulance pulls up and it’s being drive by a certain bald headed Rattlesnake. Because clearly a guy can be beaten down, wake up less than 20 minutes later, get out of an ambulance bed, take over the ambulance, and get back to the arena in under half an hour.
Austin comes back to the ring as Boss Man is #22. Austin chases Vince around and into the ring but gets jumped by Shamrock. That’s it for Kenny so here’s HHH at #23, giving us three tall guys with long blonde hair. Billy goes after Austin for the sake of the money as Vince plays cheerleader. Vince tries not to slip into commentator mode as he talks about people wanting the money.
Val Venis is #24 and Austin dumps Billy. X-Pac is #25 and Val pounds on Austin. He kicks Steve to the floor as we’re just waiting on the Austin and Vince interaction. A spinwheel kick from Pac puts Austin down as Mark Henry is #26. Henry swings for Austin but decks Boss Man instead. Jeff Jarrett is #27 and nothing happens again. Pac kicks at a lot of people and hits the Bronco Buster on Boss Man.
In a somewhat famous bit, HHH is clearly heard asking Val if he can hang on if HHH throws him over the ropes. After that punch to kayfabe’s stomach, D’Lo Brown is #28. Austin dumps Test and X-Pac to give us some more mat space. Boss Man and Jarrett team up to try to eliminate Austin but he fights them off again. There goes Jarrett as Owen Hart is #29. Austin spits at Vince as the ring is way too full.
Chyna is #30, giving us a final group of Chyna, Austin, Vince, Boss Man, HHH, Venis, Henry, Brown, Hart and Chyna. Chyna manages to dump Henry but is knocked out almost immediately by Austin. HHH throws Val out to get us down to five. There’s a Stunner to dump HHH and get us down to five guys. Austin avoids a dropkick from Brown and they fight in the corner a bit.
Owen hits the enziguri on Austin and is backdropped out just a few seconds later. Boss Man takes Austin down and Brown hits the Low Down. Brown poses too long though and Boss Man tosses him, only to get tossed by Austin. We’re down to Austin vs. McMahon and the beating is on. Austin destroys Vince with a chair shot and the boss is in big trouble. We head back inside and Vince hits a quick low blow to give himself a breather. Austin comes back with the Stunner and beats on Vince until Rock comes out. Rock and Austin have their staredown, allowing Vince to dump Austin and win the Rumble.
Rating: F. No. This was a failure on every level. The premise was stupid, the execution was TERRIBLE, and Vince winning makes the whole thing a big joke. We had THREE part where the booking resulted in the ring being empty. Who in the world thought that was a goo….oh yeah this is still Russo Time. Absolutely horrible here and the worst Rumble of all time, pretty much by far.
Vince has a BIG celebration to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. The Rumble SUCKED, the title match was decent, and the rest of the show was either bad or forgettable. That’s more or less 1999 in a nutshell. On top of that, this would all mean NOTHING by the next week, as we had Halftime Heat coming up to give Mankind the title back, as well as Vince forfeiting his title shot at Mania, resulting in Austin going anyway. Just awful overall.
Ratings Comparison
Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn
Original: D+
Redo: C+
X-Pac vs. Gangrel
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Sable vs. Luna Vachon
Original: F
Redo: D
The Rock vs. Mankind
Original: B
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: F
Redo: F
Overall Rating
Original: D-
Redo: D
It still sucks.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1997 (2017 Redo): Rose Colored Glasses
Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,235
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
I’m scared to think how many of those tickets were freebies. This is the annual requested redo and I’m not sure what to expect going into it. Well I am as I’ve seen the show multiple times but it’s been awhile. The main event is of course Shawn Michaels vs. Sid II because we need the big hometown moment. Those actually existed back in 1997. Let’s get to it.
When reviewing the classic moments of the Royal Rumble from 1997 to 2017, you can design the players’ signature moves and favorite wrestling moments into Custom Coins that will be transformed into eternal treasures.
You can also engrave your favorite players’ signatures, classic quotes, and even exclusive numbers. Each coin is a time capsule that carries not only the highlights of the event but also your deep resonance with wrestling culture.
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As you might expect, the opening video is all about Shawn because it’s 1997. The title win at Wrestlemania was nice at all but his defining moment came at Survivor Series when he showed compassion for Jose Lothario instead of trying to retain the title. Well to be fair that would be defining as it meant Shawn actually lost a title match instead of vacating the title so maybe they’re on to something.
The announcers preview the show and Lawler is VERY excited about the main event.
Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
This is one of my least favorite matches ever. Helmsley is defending against a freshly face Goldust. Basically everyone thought Goldust was gay but he confirmed that he wasn’t, which sent HHH after Marlena for some reason. Mr. Hughes makes his debut as HHH’s short lived bodyguard/butler which is code for bodyguard/Chyna is on the way.
Goldust jumps him in the aisle and hammers away in the corner until a quick atomic drop gets us to even. A catapult sends HHH outside as the crowd is really, really quiet here. I’m not sure if it’s the place being huge or the fans being bored but it’s not working so far. Goldust sends him into the steps, causing JR to suggest we might get a DQ. I mean, we probably won’t this early but points for doing your job.
They keep using the steps with HHH bouncing off them and now Lawler thinks it should be a DQ. Vince talks about some fans who had been trying to talk to Shawn for weeks being thrown out of the building. That’s one of those things that doesn’t really hold up over time as they just gloss over it and expect us to know what he’s talking about. It makes sense at the time but there are probably better things to talk about during a title match on pay per view.
HHH actually comes off the top with an ax handle but a running knee hits the barricade. As JR asks about a DQ again, Goldust starts in on the knee like a good challenger should. We hit a Figure Four as this is already dragging horribly. The knee goes into the steps again as the announcers are wondering why the referee is letting so much go. Back in and Goldust misses a crossbody (called a high risk by JR) to send him outside as HHH takes over again.
The referee FINALLY does something by taking away the director’s chair before HHH can swing it (Lawler: “Why didn’t you do something about those stairs earlier?”) and they head back in. The match is so boring that we actually cut over to an interview with a country singer in the audience. That’s getting up there on the all time boredom scale and the dead crowd seems to agree.
HHH misses the kneedrop and hurts his leg again in the process but he’s still able to roll away from a Macho Elbow. Hughes, likely as bored as the rest of us, throws in the title but HHH would rather kiss Marlena. That earns him a belt shot to the head, only to have Hughes pull HHH out at two. Of course that’s not a DQ so Goldust goes after Hughes, setting up the Pedigree for the pin to retain the title.
Rating: F+. Oh yeah this is still bad and still one of the worst matches I can ever remember to open the show. It’s too long, too boring and completely uninteresting. This really needed to have about seven minutes chopped off and far less using the steps. I dread this match every time I watch the show and that hasn’t changed a bit.
Bret Hart is used to being the marked man in a match so the Royal Rumble will be no different.
Mankind talks about the Rumble being a chance to hurt a lot of people that he doesn’t like as well as some that he does. It’s going to be a very nice day.
Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson
Faarooq injured Johnson back in 1996 and it’s finally time for the grudge match in a feud that felt like it went on for the better part of forever. There are at least ten members of the Nation of Domination here, including a few actors who exist for the sole purpose of making the group bigger. As you might expect, Ahmed erupts to start and beats Faarooq down in the corner before sending him into the post. Where’s the OUTRAGE from the announcers over this blatant breaking of the rules?
A shot to the kidneys slows Johnson down and Faarooq calls for a belt, earning himself a clothesline in the process though. The brawl heads outside for a bit with neither being able to keep control all that long as you would expect in a brawl like this. A chair to the back keeps Ahmed in trouble and Faarooq opts to just kick him in the kidneys for good measure.
It’s off to the very logical reverse chinlock but Faarooq does the very stupid posing, allowing an electric chair to put him down. Faarooq comes right back with a spinebuster though, which JR calls a physical catch instead of a fair catch. Uh, right Jim. Ahmed pops up again and hits one of his own, meaning it’s time for the Nation to come in for the lame DQ.
Rating: D. Still not great but WAY better than the first, at least partially because it’s half the length of the opener. Johnson vs. Faarooq needed to be some big wild brawl, or maybe Johnson finding some partners to help him fight off the team. Like say the Legion of Doom in Chicago in a street fight. But for some reason the feud just kept going after that, which is probably why this feud isn’t the most fondly remembered.
Post match the Nation bails for some reason, leaving Ahmed to Pearl River Plunge one of them through a table.
Terry Funk thinks he can win because we’re in Texas. Nah, just one of those per show dude. Besides, Goldust is from Austin and look at what he got. Or don’t look actually as it’s too horrible for words. Or reviews for that matter.
Faarooq says he’ll take care of Ahmed in the Rumble because Johnson is an “Uncle Tom”.
Vader vs. Undertaker
There’s not much of a story here save for some back and forth attacks. We get the big long Undertaker entrance and as usual it looks amazing in the big stadium. They slug it out to start with Undertaker doing the sit up off a clothesline. The standing splash gets the exact same reaction and Vader is looking a bit worried.
The fight heads outside with Undertaker getting the better of it but Vader drops him ribs first across the top rope to take over again. Undertaker gets in a slam followed by a legdrop, which JR says is like no one has ever done. I’m sure that’s certainly not meant as a jab at anyone in particular second cousin twice removed.
Old School is broken up which JR says means Vader had it well scouted. Or Vader was smart enough to do ANYTHING when Undertaker was off balance and distracted? And now, let’s go INTERVIEW A FAN WHO SAVED UP TO COME TO THE SHOW. Lawler rips on Pettengill for wasting our time like that (amen brother) while Vader was pounding Undertaker about the head and shoulders (the body parts, not the shampoo).
We hit the lame nerve hold for a bit until Undertaker suplexes his way to freedom, leaving both guys down. Vader is up first and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a powerslam. That would be a lot more impressive if Ahmed hadn’t done the EXACT SAME THING, even from the same corner, to Faarooq in the previous match.
Vader’s powerbomb gets two but Old School drops him again….and here’s Paul Bearer. Undertaker gets in a chokeslam but makes the mistake of going after Paul. Vader tries for a save and avoids a dive off the steps, sending Undertaker ribs first into the barricade. Bearer adds an urn shot and it’s the Vader Bomb to put Undertaker away.
Rating: C-. I’m a fan of Undertaker slugging away at a monster so this was more entertaining than it probably should have been. Vader was in something close to a free fall after losing to Shawn at Summerslam so this was more of a comeback win than anything else. Undertaker vs. Bearer would continue for a very long time.
Vader leaves with Bearer and Undertaker beats up a referee.
Austin says he isn’t talking with anyone until he wins the Rumble.
British Bulldog is going to win because he’s bizarre. Yes, bizarre.
Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Fuerza Guerrera/Heavy Metal
This is a AAA match because the company was willing to try ANYTHING to get people interested, including these guys that 99% of fans have never heard of before. I’ll do my best to have any idea who these people are and what’s going on here but bear with me. Estrada and Heavy Metal (who Vince things is Estrada) start things off do a technical sequence to start before it’s off to the ancient looking Aguayo vs. the very feathery looking Estrada.
The crowd is just GONE for this one as Canek’s middle rope crossbody gets on Guerrera. Fuerza misses a top rope crane kick Swanton (that’s an odd one) so Canek gets an easy two. Heavy Metal does a Tajiri handspring but stumbles through the elbow to drop Garza. Things speed up a bit but they still seem a few steps off to keep this from getting, you know, good.
We hit a stalemate and that means it’s time to shake hands and bring in Estrada and Canek. They start running the ropes but WAIT! Time for more tags. Metal avoids a Figure Four and we get down to a bit of a traditional tag formula with the focus on Metal’s leg. Guerrera tries to make a save but dropkicks Metal by mistake and everything breaks down. Garza gets in his corkscrew plancha and Aguayo’s top rope double stomp to the arm (meant to be ribs) finally ends Metal.
Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying something different here but this didn’t work for me. The wrestling wasn’t great here and I really have no idea who these people are. It was a nice try at something new and when you’re in the depths that the company was in at this point it’s worth the shot but this was a big miss.
Attendance announcement.
Royal Rumble
Ninety second intervals here and it’s Crush in at #1 and Ahmed in at #2. JR says Ahmed has a minute and a half to do whatever he wants to Crush. So Crush is stuck with his arms behind his back and isn’t allowed to fight back? They fight to the mat and the clock messes up so it’s Fake Razor Ramon in at #3, earning one heck of a booing. Thankfully Ahmed gets rid of the clown in about ten seconds but Faarooq shows up in the aisle, meaning Ahmed eliminates himself to go after him.
Thankfully (I think?) Phineas Godwinn is in at #4 to give us something to watch. It’s as thrilling of a brawl as you can imagine as Vince keeps talking about the clock issues, which means there’s no clock to be seen. Austin is in at #5 to wake the crowd up a bit and a middle rope clothesline is enough to allow Phineas to get rid of Crush. A Stunner gets rid of Phineas and it’s Bart Gunn in at #6. That lasts all of twenty six seconds before Austin is all alone again.
Jake Roberts is in at #7 and throws the snake bag in for a bonus. The DDT is loaded up but a backdrop gets rid of Jake, who is replaced by British Bulldog at #8. This goes a bit better with Bulldog pounding Austin down until Pierroth (AAA guy) is in at #9. The luchador gets double teamed until Bulldog wises up and turns on Austin. Sultan, whose music sounds like Pierroth’s, is in at #10 as they’re flying through this so far.
Bulldog puts Austin on the apron but gets poked in the eye for his efforts. We’ve got a clock now and the fans are into it again, which is a really good sign for the match. Mil Mascaras is in at #11 and you know he’s going to get his stuff in. HHH is in at #12 as there’s really not much going on in between these entrances. Bulldog gets rid of Sultan to clear the ring out a bit though it doesn’t do much to keep the crowd going. The middle rope middle finger elbow hits HHH and Owen Hart is in at #13.
Without much going on, Owen “accidentally” eliminates Bulldog, who really isn’t happy with his partner as a result. Goldust is in at #14 and everyone gangs up on him for some reason. Cibernetico (also from AAA) is in at #15 and is tossed almost as quickly, along with Pierroth. Marc Mero is in at #16 as Mascaras dives on Cibernetico to eliminate himself in the process (which I’m sure was a COMPLETE mistake), followed by Goldust tossing HHH. That leaves us with Hart, Austin, Mero and Goldust who are joined by Latin Lover at #17.
Lover gets in some basic stuff before Faarooq comes in at #18 to eliminate him. Cue Ahmed again for a 2×4 shot to Faarooq to get rid of him as well. Austin dumps Mero and Hart, leaving himself alone in the ring. Savio Vega, Austin’s old rival, is in at #19 and scores with a spinwheel kick. That’s about it though as Austin clotheslines him out to be alone again. Jesse James is next and while he lasts a bit longer than Vega, it’s still not even a minute before Austin gets rid of him. Austin sits on the middle rope…..and it’s BRET HART at #21, giving Austin one of the best OH DANG looks in wrestling history.
The key to him though: he sees Bret coming, shakes his head, and tells Bret to bring it on before starting the slug out. Notice that: he didn’t back down and came out swinging because that’s how Austin rolled. It wouldn’t fit Austin to panic and try to beg or something. Man against man, Austin thought he could beat anyone on the planet no matter what circumstances he was up against. That’s good storytelling and a big part of what made him a star.
Lawler is in at #22 and starts the “it takes a king” line before leaving. Two right hands later and he’s back on the floor four seconds later to finish the catchphrase. Vince: “Do you know you were just in the ring?” JR mentions that Bret said he should just be the WWF Champion coming into the show, which is a great example of how his heel turn took off.
Fake Diesel (as played by the future Kane) is in at #23 and at least he looks close enough to pass for a Nash look-a-like. From behind or at a distance, you could actually make a mistake. Fake Razor on the other hand wasn’t even close and that’s why he was booed while Diesel is greeted with general indifference. A few power moves keep everyone down until it’s Terry Funk in at #24. It says a lot when Kane is by far and away the fourth most successful wrestler in a match.
Rocky Maivia is in at #25 to make Kane even less important and of course he goes right after Austin for the sake of future issues. The slow pace continues until Mankind is in at #26, giving us Mankind, Austin, Rocky, Funk, Diesel and Hart. If there has ever been a better collection of talent at one point in the Rumble, I’ve yet to see it. Just DANG what a lineup here.
Flash Funk is in at #27 and Lawler wants the Funkettes. Bret piledrives the heck out of Austin and Flash dives off the top to take out Diesel and Terry. Vader is in at #28 as I start to miss people wrestling earlier in the show and still being in the Royal Rumble. For some reason Flash makes the mistake of going after him, only to get pummeled down in a hurry. Henry Godwinn is in at #29 to bring the talent WAY down in a hurry.
The big Henry actually clotheslines Vader down as JR compares Lawler’s entrant to Bushwhacker Luke’s 1991 entrance. Oh come on. Lawler lasted TWICE as long as Luke. Undertaker completes the field at #30, giving us a final group of Undertaker, Austin, Hart, Terry Funk, Flash Funk, Diesel, Maivia, Vader, Godwinn and Mankind. Undertaker immediately punches Vader down before chokeslamming a few people.
The still unknown brothers have a bit of a fight as Vince calls Undertaker the favorite. Vader throws Flash out and we have Henry vs. Undertaker for a rather off brawl. Rocky almost has Bret out until Vader makes the save for no apparent reason. Austin and Funk chop each other half to death and probably have a blast doing so.
Undertaker throws Henry out and my jaw drops at the talent left in there. The final eight either already are or will be in the Hall of Fame one day. That’s INSANE and will likely never be even approached again. Mankind tosses Rocky and them pummels Terry before suplexing him out to the floor. Undertaker gets rid of Mankind, who is happy to brawl to the back with Funk. Bret dumps Austin for the pop of the night but the referees are busy breaking up the brawl, allowing Austin to come back in and eliminate Vader and Undertaker. Bret gets rid of Diesel, only to have Austin throw him out for the win in a great bit of cheating.
Rating: D+. And the good here is almost ALL Austin as the rest of the match was barely even worth talking about. There wasn’t much in the way of storytelling to be seen here as there wasn’t really a big winner teased until the very end. The lack of talent up until the end and time to go with the build towards the end didn’t do a lot of good as the match doesn’t even really start until Bret comes in two thirds of the way there. It’s certainly not the worst Rumble but it’s really not good either.
Bret has another tirade and while he has a point, he handles it like a baby.
We recap Shawn vs. Sid. Back at Survivor Series, Sid attacked Shawn’s manager with a camera to cost Shawn the title. Sid has been on a rampage since but now we’re in Shawn’s hometown for the big rematch.
Shawn says he’s sick with the flu (a-huh) but he’s ready to fight with 70,000 people (or closer to 50,000 depending on who you ask) behind him.
WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid
Sid is defending of course. Shawn stares him down to start and is quickly shoved across the ring without too much effort. A kick to the chest puts Sid on the floor but he comes right back in and grabs a camel clutch. That goes nowhere (other than around for a long time) so Sid tries a chinlock, followed by one heck of a clothesline.
Some hard whips across the ring set up a bearhug because Sid needs to keep things slow. The bearhug stays on so long that Sid actually LAYS DOWN ON THE MAT WITH IT. A legdrop gets two and it’s already back to the reverse chinlock. Thankfully this one doesn’t last as long and Shawn comes back with a slam. Really a slam? After all that back work?
The forearm into the flying elbow connects but Sid goes outside to yell at Jose and his son. We get a ref bump so the chokeslam only gets two as a second ref comes in. Sid knocks the second referee down so Shawn hits him with the camera for two. The superkick gives Shawn the title back.
Rating: D+. As I said in the original review, this could have been much worse. I mean, not much worse but it could have been worse. Shawn winning the title back was the most obvious thing in the world and it’s ok to have him win here, especially in his hometown. It’s not exactly a good match but then again Sid isn’t exactly a good opponent. What is nice is seeing a hometown guy win a big match for a change and the fact that it derailed Shawn’s heel turn is…..well actually it kind of sucks but he wouldn’t have the title long anyway.
A ridiculously long celebration ends the show.
Overall Rating: D. Why is this show so fondly remembered? The wrestling is pretty lame (though there are worse options) and the Rumble itself isn’t much to be remembered outside of Austin starting his rise to the top of the promotion. It’s not the worst Royal Rumble of all time but I don’t remember getting into the show a single time all night, save for that look from Austin when Bret came out. Just not a very good show but it’s from a bad time for the company.
Ratings Comparison
HHH vs. Goldust
Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2017 Redo: F+
Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq
Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: D
Vader vs. Undertaker
Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: C-
Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera
Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2017 Redo: D
Royal Rumble
Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+
Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid
Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: D+
Overall Rating
Original: C+
2013 Redo: D
2017 Redo: D
Now that’s more like it. The two main events just aren’t that good but I have NO idea what I was thinking on the opener. That match is a disaster and I can’t stand it less and less every time I see it.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/17/royal-rumble-count-up-1997-bret-hart-uh-make-that-austin/
And the 2013 redo:
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
WWE Vault: Christmas Carnage: Like A Big Stocking (Includes Full Video)
Christmas Carnage
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Michael Hayes, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler
This is the Christmas week contribution from the WWE Vault and that could have some possibilities. WWE has often done something over Christmas and it should be interesting to see what they have brought out of mothballs. There are quite a few options here and some of them are worth a look so let’s get to it.
From Smackdown, December 22, 2006.
Batista is in the ring and Santa Claus comes out with gifts for the fans. Michael Cole even gets a Roddy Piper DVD and shirt (not shown, but that’s what someone with notes from Smackdown from 2006 are for)…but then Santa hits Batista in his bad arm with a pipe. Cue Teddy Long to give Santa a match with Batista.
Batista vs. Santa Claus
Batista’s World Title isn’t on the line and Long might not be the nicest guy to have Batista in the match when he’s already hurt. Santa goes after the bad arm and slams it into the apron for two. Batista drives him into the corner but charges into a boot to the bad arm. A backdrop (looked like a mistimed spinebuster) sets up a spear and the beard comes off to reveal…Sylvan. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish at 1:41.
From Superstars, December 23, 1995.
Xanta Klaus vs. Scott Taylor
Yeah this had to be here. Xanta is better known as Balls Mahoney, is from the South Pole, and likes to steal presents. Some hard forearms, a belly to back suplex, and a camel clutch finish for Xanta at 1:31. The match was so short that I didn’t have time to mention Xanta’s manager, Ted DiBiase, doing a split screen interview and promising that the Million Dollar Champion is coming. This was the only match for Xanta, because….well how much of a shelf life was he going to have?
From Monday Night Raw, December 20, 1999.
Mankind is not happy about having to face Santa Claus in a Boiler Room Brawl because he doesn’t want to have to punch the rosy cheeks or kick him in the stomach that shakes like a bowlful of jelly. Cue the Mean Street Posse to jump him and send him into the boiler room, which has him rather disturbed to officially start things off.
Mankind vs. Santa Claus
Santa is in fact in the boiler room and Mankind isn’t sure what to do about this. Santa doesn’t want to put Mankind on the bad list so Mankind offers to let Santa walk out and win in peace. That works for Santa but three other Santas jump Mankind. He’s fine with fighting them and finds a well placed garbage can and some frying pants (in their bag of toys).
The three of them are down but two more are waiting on him and these two happen to be the New Age Outlaws, who have some better luck. Mankind fights back against the two of them like he’s in Championship Mode in No Mercy (SOCKO!) and grabs a mirror, naturally singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire in the process. Another Santa knocks the mirror into his face to shatter it…and since it’s HHH, he tells Mankind to suck it and leaves to win at 3:34.
Rating: C. What in the world do you want me to say about this? It felt like some weird comic book scene with the collection of Santas coming at Mankind, who was almost fighting his nightmare scenario come to life. Like so much from this era, it wasn’t so much a match as a segment with brawling, but this did work for what it was supposed to be.
From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2012.
Good Santa vs. Bad Santa
YES! This is the one I was hoping would be on here. Here we have a 400lb wig splitting World’s Strongest Santa vs. the Intellectual Santa of the Masses in a battle to save Christmas. The good one hits the bad one in the head to start and opens a package to find a toilet. Bad Santa goes face first into said toilet and they head outside, where the bad one finds a fire extinguisher….which doesn’t work.
The good one takes the pin out and sprays the bad one as commentary argues over whether Santa’s suit is fireproof or Santa himself. The bad one finds a Singapore candy cane to beat on the good one and wreck the (awesome) Christmas decorations, which is just too far for the good one. They fight back to ringside, with the bad one taking a present to the back. The bad one STILL can’t get the fire extinguisher to work so the good one sprays him again, setting up the World’s Strongest Slam (which Cole dubs the Sleigh Ride) for the pin at 3:20.
Rating: A+. I’m a Christmas fanatic and I remember loving this match live. It still holds up today as they absolutely knew the assignment and had a comedy brawl which didn’t overstay its welcome. That’s exactly what wrestling should be at times and it worked very well, with Henry being lovable and Sandow being the snob. Great stuff.
Post match Henry pulls out some cupcakes (he approves) and slams them into Sandow’s face. JBL: “Jimmy Stewart is rolling over in his grave right now.”
From Monday Night Raw, December 23, 2019.
We’re near the streets of New York City, where Santa Claus sends R-Truth over to his sled and then jumps Akira Tozawa to win the 24/7 Title. Of note: Santa was played by future AEW star Bear Bronson.
From Wrestling Challenge, November 27, 1993.
Doink The Clown is brought out for an interview, where he is told that there can only be ONE Doink in the WWF. Apparently he has drawn the ire of Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon, but he doesn’t care because he loves Christmas. Cue Santa Claus to hug Doink, who started off badly but has gotten a lot better. His present is in the bag, and it’s……a mini Doink! Actually that won’t work, as there can only be ONE Doink….so we’ll just call him Dink! Yeah sure why not. Dink leaves in a wagon and Heenan hopes he goes to play on the interstate.
From a Superstars taping in what looks like late 1992.
We meet Santa’s helpers from the South Pole: a couple of guys who whack their arms around and call each other Cousin Luke and Cousin Butch. They seem to love Christmas and remember their mother singing them Christmas songs (if they’re cousins, why do they have the same…..never mind). The interviewer is licked and toys are dispensed to the fans.
From World Class Championship Wrestling, December 25, 1983.
Michael Hayes dresses up like Santa and jumps the Von Erichs after a tag match. Mike Von Erich gets piledriven.
Overall Rating: B. Again, I love it when they throw in a few curves here and there with some actual interesting moments. Rather than doing a bunch of lame stuff that doesn’t matter, they went with stuff that a lot of fans probably haven’t thought of in a long time and it makes these things so much more fun. I love the Henry vs. Sandow match and the Mankind deal was a nice flashback. This could have been a lot longer but at just shy of thirty minutes, it’s hard to get too annoyed.
Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:
WWE Vault Grab Bag II: Now With More Bag
WWE Vault Grab Bag II
Commentators: Dean Hill, Kenny Bolin, Lenny Leonard, Bryce Remsburg, Chris Cruise, Mike Tenay, Jim Cornette
So this is one of my favorite things to do, as the WWE Vault releases a bunch of matches on a regular basis. In this case, there are enough that I can do a few collections, as I’m basically making my own playlists. There is no running theme for these matches and they’re just whatever I happen to pick. Let’s get to it.
From August 22, 2008, a dark match before Smackdown/ECW.
Takeshi Morishima vs. Jamie Noble
Tony Atlas is here to introduce Morishima, who is a power guy and former Ring Of Honor World Champion. Morishima runs him over to start and knocks Noble into the corner. Noble tries to fight back with a few shots to the head, including an enziguri to stagger Morishima. That just earns Noble a Boss Man Slam into a neck crank, followed by a big leg for two. Morishima picks him up at two and adds a big Saito suplex for the pin at 3:03 (with the announcer naming him “Orishimo”).
Rating: C. This wasn’t quite a squash for Morishima but it was close enough, as he looked dominant. You don’t get to see someone with his size and athleticism very often and it makes sense that WWE would be interested. Morishima looked good out there and it would be nice to see more of him in WWE, if nothing else due to him using the old Orient Express theme. Because of course.
From August 18, 2008, a dark match before Raw (I have no idea why they went out of order).
Takeshi Morishima vs. Charlie Haas
Haas yells at the fans to start and gets sent face first into the buckle for his efforts. The big leg connects but Haas manages to snap his arm over the top rope. That doesn’t seem to matter as it’s a Boss Man Slam to drop Haas, followed by a missile dropkick for the pin at 2:36.
From July 29, 1995, a dark match at a Superstars taping.
Bret Hart vs. Hakushi
In a cage. Hakushi jumps him to start fast and strikes away, only to get knocked back down. Hart goes for the climb out but gets pulled back down rather quickly. That lets Hakushi go up but Hart pulls him down and climbs as well. Hakushi cuts that off just as fast and strikes away on the top. They get back down and Hart whips him into the corner, followed by a bulldog.
It’s too early for Hart to get through the door though and Hakushi starts in on his leg. A ram into the cage lets Hakushi make a rather slow climb, which Hart cuts off with a DDT. Hart still can’t get out and Hakushi goes for the leg again, only to get pulled back inside as well. That lets Hart climb up a lot faster than before but Hakushi grabs him by the hair for a rather painful looking stop.
A backbreaker drops Hakushi but the middle rope elbow misses (you don’t see that very often). Hakushi’s top rope headbutt misses just as well so Hart turns him inside out with a clothesline. They take turns pulling the other down again and there’s a hard whip to send Hart chest first into the buckle. He’s right back up though and it’s a superplex off the cage for the big crash, leaving them both down. With Hakushi barely able to move, Hart manages to escape for the win at 12:31.
Rating: B-. For a dark match, this turned into something pretty good and the superplex was a nice surprise. They started slowly but eventually it picked up with more intensity and hard hitting. These two always had good chemistry together and it was on display again, which is cool for a less than readily available match.
From OVW TV, June 23, 2007.
CM Punk/Cody Runnels vs. Shawn Spears/Jay Bradley
Runnels (Rhodes of course) is distracted by Spears to start and gets hiptossed by Bradley. That’s broken up and Runnels goes after Spears again, only to kick Bradley in the face. A fall away slam sends Runnels flying into the corner for the tag to Punk, meaning trash can be talked. Punk strikes away to knock him into the corner and Spears realizes the tag means he’s in trouble.
Runnels gets the tag as well and Spears runs straight to the floor (apparently they kind of hate each other). Spears crawls back inside and hands it off to Bradley, who sends Punk into the corner. Now Spears is willing to come in and gets knocked down, allowing Runnels to come in and chase Spears to the floor. Punk cuts that off but Bradley comes in to jump Runnels from behind.
We take a break and come back with Bradley hammering on Runnels, which is enough for Spears to come in and stomp away. Runnels fights up so it’s immediately back to Bradley for a chinlock. Spears comes back in and goes after Punk, drawing him in so Runnels can be double teamed in a perfectly logical cheating sequence. The drop down shot to the face allows the tag off to Punk, who is in to clean house.
The running knees in the corner set up a bulldog/clothesline combination, followed by the springboard clothesline for two on Bradley. Cue Michael W. Kruel to pull the referee out, allowing Spears to get in a cheap shot on Punk. Runnels is back in with a strap to Spears’ back (before their strap match in a few days) so here are Spears’ goons to be dispatched. Runnels straps Spears to the back, leaving Punk to Anaconda Vice Bradley for the tap at 11:26 (earning Punk a shot at Bradley’s OVW Title in the process).
Rating: B-. Perfectly nice match here, with the all star team overcoming the odds to get some revenge and a title shot at the same time. That’s a case where simple storytelling works out well and I liked what we got here. Punk was red hot in OVW but he was already up on the main roster at this point, so he was pretty much just visiting here. The results worked out though as he and Rhodes always work well together.
From Evolve 17.
Sami Zayn gives us a quick introduction, as he got to pick the match. This just happens to involve someone he has been compared to a lot over the years.
El Generico vs. Samuray del Sol
Sol is better known as Kalisto. They fight over arm control to start and go to the mat, meaning it’s time to exchange flip ups. Generico grabs a headlock into a chinlock before working on the arm. A wristdrag takes Sol down but he flips out of a hurricanrana and Generico isn’t sure what to do. Generico’s running shoulder drops So and he springboards over Sol into some more armdrags.
Some chops in the corner seem to wake Sol up as he walks on his hands into a headscissors. A slingshot 450 gives Sol two and he bends Generico over his back for quite the painful visual. That’s broken up and Generico hits a clothesline but Sol is back with another headscissors. A rather springboardy wristdrag sends Generico outside and there’s the step up corkscrew dive to drop him again.
Back in and Generico exploders him into the corner, where the Helluva Kick is cut off. What would become known as the Salida del Sol gives Sol two but Generico is back with the Blue Thunder Bomb for two more. Generico’s Michinoku Driver gets two more so Sol steps onto his back for a Code Red. The Rising Sun (poisonrana) gives Sol two but a super version is countered with a facebuster onto the turnbuckle. The Helluva Kick into the turnbuckle brainbuster gives Generico the pin at 14:08.
Rating: B+. I can see why Zayn picked this, as Generico and Sol were both working rather hard out there and put on a heck of a match. That’s the point of something like this as it was not only the show’s main event but also a rubber match. It made things feel that much bigger and they lived up to the hype. Pretty awesome match here and a sign of what they would be able to do on the big stage.
From AAA When Worlds Collide.
Fuerza Guerrera/Madonna’s Boyfriend/Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio/Heavy Metal/Latin Lover
Mysterio is only 19 here and this is described as his Breakout Match. Guerrera and company (the rudos here) clear the ring to start before we can even get the introductions. Guerrera and Metal start things off with an exchange of armdrags before Psicosis comes in to clothesline Mysterio. The top rope hurricanrana sends Psicosis bailing up the aisle and it’s Boyfriend (Louie Spicolli, who towers over Mysterio) comes in and picks Mysterio up.
That doesn’t last long and it’s off to Lover for an exchange of running shoulders. A superkick drops Boyfriend and it’s back to Psicosis for a clothesline to Metal. They grab stereo faceplants for a double down and Mysterio comes in, only to get hit in the face by Guerrera. Mysterio sends Guerrera outside for a dive, leaving Lover to send Psicosis into the corner.
Back in and Guerrera hits Lover low, only for Metal to come in with a low blow of his own. That doesn’t work for Boyfriend, who gorilla presses Mysterio over the barricade for a crash into the crowd. The villains get to double team Lover but Mysterio comes back in to give Psicosis a faceplant. Guerrera gets powerbombed out of the corner but Lover misses a top rope splash. Everything breaks down and we get a parade of dropkicks to the floor but Metal misses a Swanton to Guerrera. A seated armbar makes Metal tap at 13:40.
Rating: B. It’s much more in the lucha libre style, which wasn’t a thing in America at this point. That was the entire point of this show and it absolutely worked, as they were displaying something that had fans rather impressed. I can definitely see why Mysterio’s performance was so well received, as he looked like a star in the making, which is absolutely what he would be in just a few more years.
From May 13, 2003, a dark match before Smackdown/Velocity.
CM Punk introduces this one, talking about how he had wrestled a dark match the previous night and been unofficially banned from WWE for being unsafe. He showed up anyway and was asked if he wanted to face the Road Warriors. Apparently that was quite the affirmative.
CM Punk/Doug Delicious vs. Legion Of Doom
We’re joined in progress with Hawk throwing Delicious around and handing it off to Punk, who jumps Animal for some reason. This goes as well as expected, with Animal hitting a hard clothesline and a powerslam. Hawk misses a running charge into the post though, allowing Punk to get two off a snap suplex. We’re clipped (in a dark match) to Hawk hitting a double clothesline as everything breaks down. The Doomsday Device finishes Delicious at 2:44 shown (possibly out of 4:14 total). Actually not a squash and LOD looked decent enough.
From OVW TV, January 19, 2002.
Prototype vs. Randy Orton
As you probably know, the Prototype (with Kenny Bolin) is an early (and evil) John Cena. Orton sends him into the corner to start and gets two off a crossbody. A powerslam gives Orton two more as Cornette gives the hard sell for the Last Dance later this month. Prototype sends him hard into the corner for two and a sidewalk slam gets two more.
A pair of snap suplexes give Prototype two but Orton catches him on top. The ensuing superplex gives Orton two so Bolin gets on the apron. Some powder only hits the referee though so here is Rico Constantino to jump Orton as well. Bobby Eaton of all people comes in to go after Constantino and then jumps Prototype for the DQ at 6:32.
Rating: C. The match was pretty much just there, but it’s more of an historical curiosity than anything else. Cena and Orton have one of the most legendary rivalries in WWE history and seeing them both at such a young age is rather odd to see. They would get a lot better, but this was hardly a bad match, especially for developmental television.
From Dragon Gate USA Open The Ultimate Gate 2013 (the Wrestlemania XXIX weekend show).
Johnny Gargano introduces this one and it’s a bit different.
Open The Freedom Gate Title: Johnny Gargano vs. Shingo
Gargano is defending. They stare each other down to start as the fans want Shingo (better known as Shingo Takagi) to do bad things to Gargano. A battle of arm control takes them to the mat with Shingo working on the leg to limited avail. Gargano goes to the arm so Shingo gets to the ropes, allowing him to start another arm control battle. Gargano’s chops don’t work but Shingo’s certainly does, allowing Shingo to grab a headlock. A suplex puts Gargano down and it’s a backsplash for two, setting up a neck crank.
Back up and they slug it out, with Gargano not being able to get the Gargano Escape. Shingo sends him into the corner but gets caught with a quick hurricanrana. Gargano grabs a double arm crank and leans back onto the arm for a rather painful visual. A neckbreaker gives Gargano two and he actually wins a strike exchange by elbowing Shingo down in the corner. It’s back to working on the arm to keep Shingo in trouble, with a cradle even getting two.
The Gargano Escape is broken up with pure power and a clothesline sends Gargano outside. Shingo strikes away against the barricade and boots Gargano into the crowd, which is never a good idea. A superkick gets Gargano out of trouble and he runs back inside for quite the suicide dive. It works so well that Gargano does it again, only to charge into a Death Valley Driver on the floor (which probably won’t have the effect that it should).
Naturally Gargano beats the count back in, where a neckbreaker and sliding lariat give Shingo two. A slingshot DDT plants Shingo for two more and the fans are a lot more split. One heck of a clothesline puts Gargano down again and another pop up Death Valley Driver gives us a double breather. More clotheslines don’t even put Gargano down so he pulls on the Gargano Escape.
That’s broken up again and they go up top, where Shingo’s superbomb is countered into a super hurricanrana for two. The lawn dart gives Gargano another near fall and he can’t believe the kickout. They slug it out from their knees and then their feet until Shingo hits a Saito suplex and a hard clothesline for another double down. Shingo is up first with a super Death Valley Driver for two but Made In Japan is countered into the Hurts Donut (spinning full nelson faceplant).
The Gargano Escape sends Shingo over to the rope as we get a PLEASE DON’T STOP chant. Shouldn’t it be PLEASE DON’T GET PINNED OR SUBMIT TO CAUSE THE MATCH TO END? Made In Japan gives Shingo two more and the hue running clothesline gets an even nearer fall. Another Death Valley Driver gets another two and the referee gets bumped. That means it’s a low blow to drop Shingo and Gargano whips out a rope to choke him into the Gargano Escape to retain at 33:27.
Rating: B+. It’s an excellent back and forth match, but dang I was having some trouble buying that Gargano was surviving all of this. That’s been an issue of his for longer than I can remember and it was certainly true again here. Shingo definitely had the skill to back up his reputation and he felt like a big get for a show of this magnitude.
From February 7, 1993 at a WCW house show. This isn’t a complete match but it’s certainly some awesome sounding footage.
Dustin Rhodes/Ricky Steamboat/Shane Douglas vs. Steve Austin/Brian Pillman/Barry Windham
This is an elimination match and we’re joined in progress with Austin working on Steamboat. A suplex gives Austin one and he drops Steamboat with a clothesline to cut off a comeback attempt. Austin hits a side slam as I don’t see any partners anywhere around. Some slams stay on the back and Austin grabs a bearhug, which isn’t something you see him do very often.
With that broken up, Austin makes the mistake of spitting on Steamboat, which triggers the comeback you’re probably expecting. A top rope superplex sends Austin crashing down hard for a rather delayed two but he reverses a Tombstone into one of his own for two more. Austin goes up (this can’t end well) and Steamboat rolls through a high crossbody for the pin at 4:37 shown. Not enough shown to rate as the whole match is about 25 minutes, but these two always worked well together.
Post match Pillman runs in for the beatdown, with Windham making the save. The big brawl goes outside, with Douglas coming back in to drop Pillman onto the barricade. More wrestlers (including 2 Cold Scorpio in a Ribera shirt) can’t break it up either and the brawl continues. Johnny B. Badd and I think William (Lord Steven at the time) Regal are in there but can’t get very far either. Things finally settle down but Pillman chop blocks Douglas in the aisle and the pain is real to end things. Good match, very hot post match brawl.
From December 15, 1996, a dark match after In Your House: It’s Time.
Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind
We’re a few months after their famous match at Mind Games and Paul Bearer is here with Mankind. Michaels jumps Mankind to start on the floor and then takes him inside to hammer away. The discus lariat puts Michaels down and some right hands drop him in the corner. Michaels is sent into the steps and choked on the ropes as Mankind gets in the creepy “COME ON SEXY BOY!”.
The Mandible Claw is blocked and Michaels manages a belly to back suplex. The flying forearm lets Michaels nip up…and go right into the Mandible Claw. Well that didn’t work. They crash out to the floor, where a nasty ram into the steps is enough to get Michaels free. Mankind’s hand is sent into the steps and the top rope elbow connects inside. Bearer’s distraction lets Mankind get the urn but Michaels superkicks him down for the win at 6:56.
Rating: C+. It’s a dark match so you’re only going to get so much out of it, but it could have been far worse. These two could have a good match in their sleep and while this wasn’t quite that, it was hardly some great match that tore the house down. It doesn’t help that they had such a classic the previous time so the expectations were probably high, even though it wound up being the Cliffnotes version.
From May 5, 1993, a dark match at a Wrestling Challenge taping.
Harlem Knights vs. Tony DeVito/Mike Bell
The Knights are better known as Men On A Mission and this is their tryout match. They’re already doing the wave as Bobby (Mo) backs DeVito into the corner to start. That means more waving and an armdrag before it’s off to Nelson (Mabel), who trades hammerlocks with DeVito. Thankfully Nelson finally wakes up and realizes HE’S A GIANT AND SHOULDN’T BE DOING HAMMERLOCKS and grabs a chokebomb.
Bobby comes back in for a double elbow and we’re clipped ahead about six seconds (I’m guessing something a fan said/did) to Bell kicking Nelson low to escape another hammerlock. Nelson no sells some forearms and hits a World’s Strongest Slam, setting up the double splash for the pin at 4:49.
Rating: D. How in the world did this get them hired? Bobby barely did anything other than the waving deal and Nelson was trading hammerlocks with and selling punches from someone half his size. I could see how the team could be fun, but they completely missed the point…and then got signed anyway. Of course they did.
Overall Rating: B-. This is exactly the kind of thing I love doing with the WWE Vault, as you never know what kind of awesome stuff you might find. I just picked a bunch of matches here and watched them mostly straight through in a kind of do it yourself playlist. It’s by no means a regular playlist or anything close, but there is some stuff in there that is worth a look. I’ll definitely be doing this again, as just seeing what they had next was more than worth the time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:
WWE Vault: Best Of The Big Boss Man: Like A Boss (Full Video Included)
Best Of Big Boss Man
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Rick Stewart, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is one of the signature series of the WWE Vault as you get to see various wrestlers throughout their careers. In this case it’s someone who is one of the most memorable parts of the company in his day but he only had so much success. This should be a lot of fun as I was quite the fan so let’s get to it.
As usual, we open with a quick intro.
From Starrcade 1986.
Big Bubba Rogers vs. Ron Garvin
Street fight (meaning you win by pinfall or a ten count) and Jim Cornette is here with Rogers (as he was Cornette’s bodyguard). Garvin punches him in the face to start and Bubba is actually staggered, which wasn’t something that happened very often back then. For some reason Garvin agrees to a test of strength but tis a ruse as he hits Bubba in the face again, this time for a trip to the floor.
Back in and Bubba powers him into the corner and then sends him outside (Cornette: “GARVIN’S A COWARD! HE’S TRYING TO RUN!”). Garvin gets back in and gets sent back outside, where he grabs a drink to throw into Bubba’s face. Now the punches start working and Garvin chokes away a bit, only to get kneed in the face. A splash in the corner gives Bubba eight and some hard stomping gets the same, even with Garvin busted open.
Bubba drops an elbow for two and then stands up, allowing Garvin to get up at an eight count (as I try to figure out if that makes sense). A rope gets brought in so Garvin punches him down and chokes with said rope, followed by a bite to bust Bubba open. Bubba is able to come right back with a bearhug, only for Garvin to use some hard headbutts to break it up. Garvin knocks him out to the floor for a six (Cornette: “BUBBA! FIGHT BACK!”) but Garvin just hits Bubba in the head a few more times.
Bubba might hit him low as they go back inside, where Garvin gets in a slam off the top. The kickout sends Garvin onto the referee so he muscles Bubba up for a Texas piledriver. That earns him a tennis racket shot to the head and they’re both out at ten. That doesn’t work though so it’s the first man to his feet to win. Cornette comes in to yell and gets shoved down by the referee, allowing him to to hit Garvin in the knee with the racket. That’s enough for Bubba to be up first for the win at 11:52.
Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly what you would expect from a street fight, but it was two hard hitting guys beating each other up. I could have gone for a little something more, but at least they felt like they were having a fight. Garvin was laying in those shots and HIT HIM IN THE FACE is quite the logical way to go. Cornette cheating was exactly what you would expect from him and it fit in well with the ending.
From New York City, March 18, 1989.
Big Boss Man vs. Hulk Hogan
In a cage in MSG and Slick is here with the Boss Man. Well in theory as Hogan chases Slick off before getting inside. Hayes says he’s never seen someone climb over the top and get into a cage. This isn’t even the first time he’s called a match where Hogan came in that way. Hogan chokes him with the shirt from behind to start and sends Boss Man into the corner for some running clotheslines.
One of them puts Boss Man down and sets up a suplex as Hogan is rather energetic here. Boss Man gets in a shot of his own and goes up but Hogan is there to chop away on the ropes. Hogan catches him on top and they strike it out, only for Hogan to be shoved down in a bit crash. That’s enough for Boss Man to get over the top but Hogan is up again, this time with the superplex off the top of the cage, which is nowhere near as epic as the famous one on Saturday Night’s Main Event.
The big crash leaves both of them down for a good while until Hogan crawls over to the door. Boss Man gets the boot for the save and Hogan bites him on the head. A spinebuster cuts Hogan off again so Boss Man can choke with a rope. Back up and they ram each other into the cage for another double down. As you might have expected, Hogan gets up first and starts the big comeback, including some rams into the cage.
Boss Man is busted open and Hogan drops the leg so Slick decks the referee and comes inside. This goes as well as you would expect, with Hogan handcuffing Boss Man to the cage. Hogan climbs over as Slick gets the key in, beating him to the floor and hitting Boss Man with a chair as the referee gets up for the win at 11:15.
Rating: B-. It’s no surprise that these two work so well together as they did this match all over the place (including the same day in Boston). Boss Man was as natural of an opponent as Hogan could have had and that’s why he was this role so soon after coming over. It’s not as good as the famous one, but it still worked fine, especially for a house show match.
From Wrestlemania VII.
Before the match, Big Boss Man promises to take the Intercontinental Title from Mr. Perfect, but he’s also out for revenge for Bobby Heenan insulting Boss Man’s mother. The Heenan Family has been mowed down one by one, but now Perfect is the only one left. It’s time for revenge.
Heenan promises to give the people a free look at a law enforcement officer getting a beating. Perfect describes how perfect he happens to be and we’re ready to go.
Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect
Perfect, with Heenan, is defending and Boss Man’s weight loss is remarkable. He’s probably lost about 80lbs since the cage match with Hogan, which was about two years earlier. That’s amazing and he looks FAR better here. Boss Man throws the towel back at Perfect to start and then spits at him before heading outside. Perfect gets punched around ringside and then thrown inside for another beating, including swinging him around BY THE HAIR (GEEZ).
A quick shot to the throat finally cuts Boss Man off and we hit the chinlock, with Perfect starting in on the back. The abdominal stretch goes on and Heenan is demanding the bell is rung. There has to be a Montreal joke there somewhere. Perfect hits a dropkick into the necksnap but the PerfectPlex is countered into a small package. Instead Perfect comes back with something close to a running Blockbuster (with Bossman’s legs almost getting bent backwards underneath him).
Perfect goes up but gets knocked out of the air, sending Heenan into panic mode. Boss Man crotches him against the post but Heenan offers a distraction, allowing Perfect to get in a ram into the steps. That’s a bit too far though and here is ANDRE THE GIANT (thankfully able to walk) to even things up. Andre picks up the title and wacks Perfect in the head, leaving both of them down. Boss Man slowly goes over…and the Heenan Family runs in for the DQ at 10:46.
Rating: C+. These guys had some rather nice chemistry together and it wound up working well, with both of them getting in some offense. It still doesn’t make a ton of sense to have Perfect retain the title here, as he could have gotten it back to drop it to Bret Hart at Summerslam. Either way, the match worked out well, with Boss Man doing some of his best work at this point.
Post match the brawl is on, with Andre helping Boss Man clean house. Andre leaves and Boss Man comes up from behind him and grabs him by the shoulder, with Andre looking like he’s ready to kill him. Everything is cool though.
From Summerslam 1991.
Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie
The loser spends the night in jail and Jimmy Hart is here with the Mountie. Boss Man slugs away to start and knocks Mountie down, only to have Mountie get away from the running crotch attack against the rope. Instead Hart offers a distraction, allowing Mountie to poke him in the eye. Mountie is pulled out of the air, which is rather impressive, and sets up a hard spinebuster. Hart offers another distraction so Mountie can get in a cheap shot to take over.
Back in and a jumping elbow to the back of the face drops Boss Man again. Boss Man misses a charge into the corner to make it even worse, followed by some elbows for a really lazy looking cover. A forearm to the chest knocks Boss Man off the apron and a piledriver gets two back inside. Mountie stands around for a long time until Hart gets up for the distraction. The shock stick doesn’t connect though and it’s a Boss Man Slam…for two? Well that isn’t something you see very often. Instead it’s one heck of an Alabama Slam to give Boss Man the pin at 9:37.
Rating: B-. The Alabama Slam alone was worth a look, as Boss Man laid him out with that thing. Other than that, it was one of the last big time Boss Man matches, even without much of a reason for doubt. Boss Man going to jail isn’t exactly a thing, while Mountie going to jail has quite the comedic potential. Which is what wound up happening.
Post match Mountie is sent into the police van and taken away….and we don’t see the rest, though this isn’t about him.
From Spring Stampede 1994 (and since we’re in WCW, he has a very original new name).
The Boss vs. Vader
Harley Race is here with Vader. The brawl starts on the ramp, with Race holding Boss but getting crushed by Vader by mistake. Boss knocks Vader over the rope and inside as the bell rings, meaning it’s time to strike away. A big boot and running right hand knock Vader back onto the ramp, where he hits a hard clothesline of his own. Vader throws him over the top and back inside, where a running splash (from the ramp and over the top) hits raised knees.
They go back outside with Vader being sent into the barricade and then then dropped onto it via quite the power display from Boss. Back in again and a rather easy looking slam drops Vader again but he gets back up. They slug it out and Vader gives him a backdrop over the top, with Boss barely getting the rope to help with the flip over. A splash crushes Boss back inside and Vader unloads in the corner.
Back up and Boss slugs away, including a running clothesline to the bleeding Vader. Boss gets run over again so Vader goes up, where Boss powerbombs him down for quite the impressive crash. A middle rope DDT gives Boss two so he goes up for a high crossbody of all things. That looked a bit weird and it makes sense as Boss goes up again but gets powerslammed off the top. The Vader Bomb only gets two so it’s a top rope moonsault to finish Boss at 9:04.
Rating: B+. This was one of Boss’s best matches ever, as he knew how to have a fight rather than wrestling. That’s exactly what it felt like here, as Boss was more than capable of hanging with Vader physically. There is very little in wrestling more entertaining than watching two big guys beating the living daylights out of each other until one of them falls and that’s what we got here. Awesome power brawl.
Post match Race loads up the handcuffs but Boss (or BOSS MAN according to Heenan) fight shim off and unloads on both of them with the nightstick.
From Fall Brawl 1994 and he’s now the Guardian Angel, which was a real group of citizen police. In other words, the WWF threatened to sue, which made sense in this case as THE BOSS might as well have been the exact same gimmick as he had in the WWF.
Guardian Angel vs. Vader vs. Sting
This is a triangle match (meaning two of them have a match and the winner faces the other man in a second match) for a future World Title match and Harley Race is here with Vader. They flip coins and Sting is the odd man out so it’s Vader vs. Angel, winner faces Sting immediately after. Angel gets in Sting’s face and tells him to stay out of this, with Sting agreeing but not liking the tone at all.
They shove each other a bit to start and then go to a test of strength, with Vader powering him down. Vader unloads on him in the corner but some running clotheslines give Angel a breather. The slam doesn’t work though and Vader is right back with the forearms in the corner. Guardian gets in a shot of his own and manages a rather impressive slam. An elbow between the legs sets up a less than successful slam attempt and Vader drops him face.
The chinlock goes on for a bit, only for Angel to fight up and hit a running crossbody for two. Another running charge sends Vader outside in a heap and Angel is back up. Vader decks Race by mistake and a slam gives Angel two back inside. The sliding uppercut underneath the ropes connects with Vader’s jaw but the referee gets bumped, meaning the Boss Man Slam gets no count. Race gets up and hits Angel, allowing the Vader Bomb to put him away at 7:07.
After a brief rest period, Sting comes out and we’re ready for the second round. Vader shoves him around to start and backs him into the corner, where Sting Hulks Up. That earns him the standing splash for the easy knockdown, followed by the Vader Bomb. Rather than covering, Vader tries it again but Sting cuts him off. Sting strikes away until a shot to the face drops him just as fast. Another Vader Bomb misses and Sting clotheslines him over the top. Sting suplexes Race on the floor and Vader back inside, followed by a splash…which hits raised knees.
The moonsault misses for Vader though and the fans are going nuts, despite Sting not doing much here. A superplex drops Vader again and the big elbow actually connects for Sting. The Samoan drop gives Sting two more and he German suplexes Vader down (that looked great) for two. Back up and Vader fires off the forearms, which trigger the Hulk Up. Sting drops him again with four minutes left and some top rope clotheslines have Vader in more trouble.
The top rope splash gets two with two minutes left and Vader is back up with a belly to back suplex. Vader goes up but dives into a powerslam, as tends to happen to him. Sting gets two off a clothesline and grabs the Scorpion but can’t get it all the way on as time expires at 25:56 total (15:00 of Sting vs. Vader).
Therefore it’s a five minute overtime and Vader kicks Sting down, followed by a hard suplex for two. Sting is sat on top but breaks up a superplex attempt with three minutes left. Vader crashes down but Sting is too banged up to do anything other than get down and weakly cover for two. This time it’s Vader going up and getting super backdropped down. Vader clotheslines him down for two more as we have a minute to go. A big splash gives Vader two more and he hits the powerbomb but takes too long to cover as time expires at 32:14.
So it’s now sudden death, meaning it’s the first person to be knocked down loses. Vader starts slugging away and Sting can barely stay up as he staggers to the ropes in a great visual. A big collapse into the corner isn’t enough for a knockdown and Vader is getting mad. Well madder. Sting fights back and knocks Vader against the ropes so Race gets on the apron. Cue the Guardian Angel to cut him off, with the referee following them. Sting drops the referee but a masked man (who has been causing issues as of late) runs in to deck Sting, allowing Vader to get up and win at 34:26.
Rating: B+. This is a weird one, as it’s literally two falls in one match with different wrestlers involved. The Angel vs. Vader stuff is decent, but Sting vs. Vader is the usual incredible showdown. It took some time to warm up but once they got going, it was a huge slugfest, with Sting staggering to stay on his feet being excellent stuff. If nothing else, this made Vader look like a killer, as he beat both guys back to back.
From Monday Night Raw, November 30, 1998.
Hardcore Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mankind
Mankind, with the JOB Squad, is defending in a ladder match and Commissioner Shawn Michaels is here with Boss Man. The Squad is chased off to start and Boss Man hits him in the head with the nightstick. Mankind is right back with a ladder to the head (Shawn gives it a minus two) and then drops the ladder onto Boss Man (Shawn gives it a one). They get inside and Mankind goes up but dives onto Boss Man rather than go for the belt.
An elbow to the ladder with Boss Man inside (good for a six) crushes him again and there’s a double arm DDT to keep him down. Boss Man cuts off the climb though and sends Mankind into the ladder in the corner. That’s good for a ten from Shawn but Mankind uses Socko to cut off a climb. Cue the Rock (in a shirt, trunks and tennis shoes for a weird look) to shove the ladder over and hit a Rock Bottom. Boss Man gets the title (his first in the WWF or WCW) at 6:20.
Rating: C. There’s a reason this time period is so well remembered, as there was so much going on. This match had interference, a ladder, Michaels’ running score gag, and the Rock in that weird get up. That’s quite a bit to cover in one match, which doesn’t even hit six and a half minutes. And it’s for the Hardcore Title. At least Boss Man finally got his hands on some gold, which was something he had earned over the years.
Post match the beatdown stays on for a bonus.
From Monday Night Raw, December 14, 1998.
Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Big Boss Man/Ken Shamrock
Boss Man and Shamrock, with Shawn Michaels, are challenging. Boss Man shoulders Gunn down a few times to start so Gunn tells him to bring it. Some dropkicks clear the ring and even Dogg gets in one of his own. Back in and Boss Man gets in a shot to Gunn’s leg and take over. Shamrock knows how to go after a limb and takes the knee pad down to stay on the leg. Some elbows to the leg leave Gunn unable to run the ropes and Dogg comes in for a quick shot for a breather.
Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but gets countered into a sitout powerbomb. That’s enough for the tag off to Dogg but Michaels chairs him in the back. The Boss Man Slam is good for two so Gunn is back in, only to get distracted by Michaels. That earns Gunn a nightstick to the head and he’s out as the ankle lock goes on to make Shamrock and Boss Man (already the Intercontinental and Hardcore Champion) Tag Team Champions at 6:47.
Rating: C. This was another match where they packed in quite a bit of stuff, though thankfully not as bad as the previous one. At the same time, I’m really not sure that a mega stable like the Corporation needed two double champions. There were no other wrestlers who could have taken those titles? Either way, at least Shamrock seemed thrilled with the title win, as you should.
Overall Rating: B-. For lack of a better term, Boss Man was good at being a boss for someone to fight. It made his matches with people like Hogan or Vader work so well, as Boss Man had the size to match up with them, but he could also be a big power guy against more normal sized opposition. He had a sneaky good collection of matches as well, as once he slimmed down and figured out his style, it was working far better. This was a lot of fun and I can see why I was a fan of his for such a long time.
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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1998 (2012 Redo): This Show Keeps Going Screwy
Survivor Series 1998
Date: November 15, 1998
Location: Kiel Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 21,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is what you call a one idea show as the entire show (almost) is dedicated to a tournament to crown a new world champion. Austin got robbed of the title and then wouldn’t count a win as guest referee in a title match, so tonight there’s a big tournament to determine the new champion. Also the Corporation now exists to make sure Austin doesn’t win. There’s also talk of someone joining the Corporation tonight as the Corporate Champion and the new top soldier for Vince. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is of the people in the tournament talking about wanting to be champion.
I’ve always loved the theme song to this show. I did when I was a kid and I have it on my iPod today.
JR and the King talk about a big brawl that happened on Heat. They don’t actually say WHO WAS IN IT, but it was apparently quite a braw.
Here are the tournament brackets:
Undertaker
BYE
Kane
BYE
Rock
HHH
Goldust
Ken Shamrock
Mankind
???
Jeff Jarrett
Al Snow
X-Pac
Steven Regal
Steve Austin
Big Boss Man
This is a tournament where you could have easily cut out the first round and made it an eight man tournament but I guess they needed to fill in the time.
Here’s Vince to open things up. If I remember right Undertaker and Kane recently shattered his ankle so he’s hopping to the ring. Vince does a big intro for Mankind who is Corporate but is more of a comedic putz who Vince manipulates to do whatever he wants. He’s also Hardcore Champion.
WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Mankind vs. ???
Vince gives a LONG speech about the mystery opponent and it’s….Duane Gill. He was a jobber who injured his shoulder and was gone for two years to WCW. The fans thought it would be Shawn Michaels and are ticked off by the reveal. Then again it’s meant to be a joke so it’s not that big of a deal. The pyro scares Gill to death ala Eric Young. Gill is wearing a Pasadena Chargers shirt, which is an elementary school football team he coaches. Mankind is in a tuxedo and wins in 30 seconds with the double arm DDT. It would seem that a conspiracy is afoot.
Earlier tonight on Heat, Jacqueline jumped Sable. This gives us ANGRY Sable which is more funny than interesting or intimidating.
WWF World Title Tournament: Jeff Jarrett vs. Al Snow
This is Debra’s PPV debut. The winner gets Mankind and the first round matches only have ten minute time limits. Snow chases Debra around on the floor but hits a flip dive onto Jarrett off the stairs in a cool spot. We head inside and I think a bell has rung but I’m not sure. Jeff hotshots Al onto the top rope to take over but Snow is looking all psycho. Snow comes back and takes Jeff down before going up.
A guillotine legdrop misses and a dropkick takes Al down for two. Snow comes back with a crucifix for another two and counters a spinebuster into a DDT for two. They collide and here’s Debra with the Head. Snow goes to find it but gets Jeff’s guitar instead. Jeff finds Head but the referee gets the guitar out of the ring. During the distraction, Snow steals Head and KO’s Jarrett with it to advance.
Rating: C+. This is a good idea: take two talented guys and let them have a match. What more do you need to do? The ending was a little screwy but they got there on a smooth wrestling match. When Russo could be held back from making things too crazy, late 98 WWF had more than enough talent to put on fun matches like this. Good stuff.
WWF World Title Tournament: Steve Austin vs. Big Boss Man
They’re flying through this so far. Boss Man goes after Austin in the aisle but you don’t win a fist fight against Austin in 1998. Austin sends him into the steps and we head in for the bell. Vince is watching in the back as Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle finger elbow for two. Boss Man hits Austin low to come back but it just gets a warning. After a quick chinlock there’s the running crotch attack to Austin’s back and an uppercut for two. Austin makes his comeback and stomps a mudhole in the corner. We head to the floor and Boss Man hits Austin in the ribs with a nightstick for the DQ.
Rating: C-. Nothing of note to see here but this was more about story than the match. Did anyone expect Austin to get eliminated by Boss Man? This is the kind of roll Boss Man was good at: enhancing a story and taking something out of the bigger name before we get to the important stuff with the bigger names later on. There’s nothing wrong with that and it kept him employed for years.
Vince smiles at the ending as Austin gets beaten down by the stick some more. He says the night is young.
WWF World Title Tournament First Round: X-Pac vs. Steven Regal
This is one of those matches that doesn’t need to exist. The winner gets Austin and X-Pac is European Champion coming in. Regal is a REAL MAN’S MAN here. Lawler sings the song as Regal comes to the ring in a funny bit. Either that or the audio messed up there for a bit. Pac kicks him down and suplexes Regal for two. Two of those fast legdrops get another two on Regal but the Bronco Buster misses.
Regal puts on an abdominal stretch on the mat as things slow down a bit. Regal charges into the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip but he rolls out of that too and hits a slingshot to send Pac flying. Off to a surfboard stretch as things slow down again. This is probably the longest match so far and it’s not even four minutes in yet. A gutwrench suplex puts Pac down and it’s off to a headscissors.
Pac rolls that over and gets a freaky looking hold where he was on his back with his legs by Regal’s head but he was cranking on the legs in a Sharpshooter position. That gets him nowhere but it looked good. Regal puts Pac on the top and hits a butterfly superplex for two. Back to another rib/arm hold as the fans are getting a little restless. Back up and they collide in the corner before X-Pac kicks his head off for two. The Bronco Buster hits this time but Pac goes up and gets crotched, falling to the floor. They fight for awhile out there and it’s a double countout to give Austin a bye.
Rating: C-. Much like the other three matches, this didn’t need to exist. The match was ok and one of the longer matches of the night (about eight minutes) but it doesn’t need to happen. This is a match you could easily take out and give to a longer match later on. I mean, did ANYONE see these two as threats to the title? Of course not.
Vince isn’t happy with that and insists on overtime. It’s sudden death too, making it just like every other wrestling match on the show tonight. That goes nowhere though as X-Pac walks to the back.
WWF World Title Tournament First Round: Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock
Shamrock is IC Champion coming in. Ken starts with a leg lariat and pounds away at Goldie. Goldust misses a lariat but a second attempt connects to shift the momentum. Shamrock clotheslines him out of the corner for two as this is starting very slowly so far. Off to a reverse chinlock followed by a Russian legsweep for two. A regular chinlock follows that up but Goldust makes a comeback. That lasts about four seconds as Shamrock avoids a charge in the corner. A powerbomb from Goldie is countered and the referee blocks his Shattered Dreams attempt. It’s rana, belly to belly and ankle lock for the tap out win for Ken.
Rating: D-. This was a long and uninteresting squash. Goldust was at a weird point here as he didn’t really do anything and wasn’t weird or creepy anymore. He was just kind of there as a guy who used to be good but in this match he could have been Barry Horowitz and been as much of a threat to Shamrock. Terribly dull stuff here.
Austin has refused medical attention but Cole thinks he’ll be here later in the tournament.
WWF World Title Tournament First Round: The Rock vs. HHH
Oh wait HHH is hurt so we’ve got a replacement.
WWF World Title Tournament First Round: The Rock vs. Big Boss Man
Roc literally immediately rolls Boss Man up and wins in three seconds, setting a new WWF record.
Here are the updated brackets for the quarterfinals:
Undertaker
Kane
Rock
Ken Shamrock
Mankind
Al Snow
Steve Austin
BYE
WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Undertaker vs. Kane
Taker has Bearer here and is heel but he’s against the other heel faction headed by Vince. Naturally they were working together all along but that wouldn’t be revealed for about seven months. Kane pounds on Taker in the corner and not a lot of selling is going on. Kane kicks Taker down and clotheslines him out to the floor. The masked one stays on the offense on the floor but gets dropped face first onto the barricade.
Back in and Taker slugs away but there still isn’t much selling going on. Kane powerslams Taker down but Taker sits up to avoid an elbow. Kane sits up as well and we get more punching. Taker gets a boot up in the corner and starts working on Kane’s leg. The leg work goes on for awhile because neither guy is capable of doing anything with any kind of speed whatsoever. They get back up and it’s MORE punching. This is slow even for a Taker match to give you an indication of what I’m sitting through.
Taker gets caught in the corner with a clothesline and the top rope clothesline follows it up for two. They slug it out some more and good grief SELL SOMETHING ALREADY! Taker tries a chokeslam but gets countered into one by Kane. Bearer distracts Kane on the apron though and Taker pops up with a tombstone to eliminate Kane.
Rating: F+. This was horrible as it was clear Taker wasn’t interested in trying and Kane was only able to do so much in the first place. The match sucked as a result and things would only get worse as time went on. We would soon get into crucifixions, burials (as in dirt over bodies in graves) and demonic possessions. WRESTLING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Mankind vs. Al Snow
Mankind is still in his tuxedo. Snow jumps him to start and hits a clothesline for no cover. Mankind heads to the floor for a chair but Snow gets in a few shots to block it. A big chair shot misses Mankind against the post and Snow gets dropped on the chair to give the masked guy control. Back in and Snow grabs Head but Mankind suplexes him down to take it out of Snow’s hands. Here’s Socko (which had been stolen by Snow and wrapped around Head’s…uh…self? Mankind clotheslines Snow down but gets caught in a sitout spinebuster for two. The double arm DDT puts Snow down and the Claw finishes Snow.
Rating: D+. Another pretty worthless match but Mankind and Snow always seemed to have fun together out there. At the end of the day though, it’s Al Snow vs. Mankind in a world title tournament match so it wasn’t exactly a secret as to who was going to win. Then again that’s the problem with almost every wrestling tournament you have. Not much to see here but it could have been worse.
WWF World Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock
Winner gets Undertaker. Shamrock gets in a quick kick to the face but Rock clotheslines him down to take over. Ken hooks a quick suplex for two and hits a clothesline in the corner. Rock hits another clothesline to take over. Out to the floor and Rock spits water in Shamrock’s face, prompting Ken to send him into the steps. Back in and Shamrock stomps away before hitting a leg lariat to take Rock down.
A Russian legsweep gets two for Shamrock and a running knee lift sets up a chinlock. Rock comes back with right hands but here comes Boss Man. Back to the chinlock as the fans get on the Boss Man. Rock makes a quick comeback attempt but gets caught in the ankle lock. While that would make Rock tap out in a few seconds back in the day, he’s a good guy now so he fights to a rope.
Double clotheslines put both guys down and Rock starts taking over. Boss Man tries to interfere but it allows Rock to hit Shamrock low. There’s the People’s Elbow but it only gets two. The Rock Bottom is countered but Boss Man throws in the nightstick to Shamrock. Rock intercepts it though and KO’s Ken to make the final four.
Rating: C-. Another not that great match here but it was better than most of what we’ve had so far. Shamrock is another guy like Boss Man who is a great soldier but was never going to get much higher than he was here. He certainly had a better chance at it than Boss Man, but that’s not saying all that much.
The final four are now set:
Undertaker
The Rock
Mankind
Steve Austin
Bearer says Undertaker will win.
Women’s Title: Sable vs. Jacqueline
Jackie is defending. Shane McMahon is referee after being demoted by Vince. Jackie kicks Sable down and, wait for it, runs her mouth. Sable comes back with a TKO but Mero pulls her out at two. Sable kicks Mero low and powerbombs him on the floor. Jackie decks Sable and runs her mouth some more. Did I mention I REALLY don’t like Jackie? Sable counters a tornado DDT and powerbombs Jackie for the pin and the title.
Rating: D-. It came, it went, it wasn’t any good at all. People actually cared Sable, but the title became a prop very quickly. There’s just nothing else to say here.
WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: Mankind vs. Steve Austin
Austin is banged up from the nightstick attack earlier but he goes right at Mankind to start. He rips Mankind’s shoe off and whacks him in the head with it as Vince is wheeled out. The distraction lets Mankind take over and hit a running knee in the corner. There’s the Thesz Press but Mankind escapes the Stunner. Mankind runs out of the ring and towards the entrance but the Stooges bring him back.
Foley sends Austin into the steps and then into the crowd as we’re firmly in brawl mode here. Back to ringside and Austin goes face first into the steps. Off to a reverse chinlock in the ring on Austin but Stone Cold makes a comeback. They clothesline each other down and Vince is getting worried. Austin rams into him and stomps a mudhole but Mankind goes out and gets a chair. That gets kicked into his face but Mankind hits the double arm onto the chair for two.
A piledriver on the chair is broken up because it would have destroyed Austin’s neck which was already in pieces. The Stunner hits but Vince jumps out of his wheelchair and beats up the referee. Mankind loses his tuxedo pants and puts on the Claw but there’s the Stunner. Shane comes in to count the pin but stops at two and flips Austin off, opening up a BIG plot hole which was probably explained by Russo logic. Remember that it was SHANE that rehired Austin, but apparently he was working with his dad the whole time. So why rehire him? Anyway Brisco hits Austin with a chair and Mankind takes the pin to go to the finals.
Rating: C+. Definitely the best match of the night so far. It was insanely overbooked but it was certainly the best match. Imagine that: take two of the best ever and give them some time and you get the best match of the night. This also opens up the door for a surprise ending, as Austin was the favorite going into the tournament. Basically they’ve done the DiBiase master plan from Mania IV but it actually worked here.
Vince and company immediately get in the limo and leave with Austin in pursuit. Austin hijacks a car and we’ve got a chase scene.
WWF World Title Tournament Semifinals: The Rock vs. Undertaker
Rock pounds away in the corner to start but Taker gets in a clothesline to the back of the head to take Rock down. We head to the floor and after being sent into the barricade, Taker knocks Rock’s head off with another clothesline. Back inside and an elbow puts Rock down before Taker chokes on the mat. An uppercut puts Rock in the ropes and Taker pounds away.
Taker charges at Rock but gets backdropped to the floor and hit in the face with a water bottle. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and Taker gets the advantage back again. They slug it out with Taker getting the advantage again before walking into a Samoan Drop. Here comes the Boss Man again as Taker sits up. Rock comes back and loads up the Elbow but Boss Man trips him up. Taker hits Boss Man for reasons of EVIL, but here’s Kane to chokeslam Rock, sending him to the finals by DQ.
Rating: D. If there have ever been two big names with worse chemistry than Rock and Undertaker, I’d like to know who they are. These two just could not have a good match together if their lives depended on it back in the Attitude Era. It never clicked no matter how many times they main evented PPVs. This didn’t work either but at least it wasn’t that long of a match.
Taker and Kane brawl everywhere.
Mankind is ready to climb his last Rock.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry
The Outlaws are defending of course. This was set up on Raw with both challenging teams doing something that I can’t remember to earn the shot. Billy and Brown start things off but Mosh comes in off a blind tag to try to steal a pin on Billy. Mosh hits a running body attack in the corner on Gunn before diving at Brown as well. This is pretty messy so far. The Outlaws pound on the former Nation guys in opposite corners before the Headbangers double team Roadie.
Brown and Mosh trade pin attempts on Dogg. This is the old triple threat tag match rules where there are three people at a time in there which I’ve always preferred. Off to Henry for a bearhug on Roadie until Mosh makes the save. Off to Brown, Thrasher and Dogg as this continues to be ugly stuff. Gunn gets in a LOUD argument with the referee as Brown ranas Thrasher off the top.
Roadie pounds on Brown and Thrasher but Henry takes his head off with a clothesline. Brown’s running powerbomb to Thrasher is countered into a sunset flip for two. A Henry legdrop gets the same on Dogg, followed by the Headbangers double teaming Roadie for the same. Brown offers a pact with Mosh but gets kicked in the balls for his efforts. JR can almost be heard moaning at how bad this match is. Roadie finally escapes the beating for the hot tag to Billy. The fans LOVED the Outlaws so at least they’re reacting here.
Brown hits the Sky High on Billy but since everyone is out of position, it takes forever to start the count. Jesse Ventura would have a field day with this. To further the stupidity here, Billy hits a Fameasser on Mosh but Henry makes the save with a splash, also hitting Mosh. Mark just stays on top of Mosh for a cover, but after two finisher it only gets two. That Mosh man, he’s TOUGH. Billy finally piledrives Mosh to retain the titles.
Rating: F. This was terrible and there’s no other way to put it. They were all over the place and no one was even reading the same book out there. The referee had to count very slowly so the saves could be made and there was no flow to this at all. Just awful and JR’s commentary makes it even funnier, but in a kind of sad way.
We recap Austin getting cheated out of the finals.
WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind
Vince and Shane are back and are talking with Boss Man backstage. Feeling out process to start as Lawler makes fun of Halloween Havoc going off the air earlier a few weeks prior to this. Rock gets two off a clothesline and they head to the floor quickly. Rock gets rammed into the steps and Mankind takes over. Back inside for a chinlock as the McMahons come out. JR is very annoyed at various things and he vents a bit as they come to the ring. A suplex gets Rock out of the hold and Mankind is sent outside.
Rock suplexes Mankind on the floor but he has to go after the McMahons a bit. Into the crowd we go with Rock in control. He backdrops Mankind back to ringside and we head into the ring for a Rock chinlock. Mankind fights back up and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take it back to the floor. A chair takes Rock down again and Mankind gets the steps, only to have them knocked down onto him. Rock pounds on the steps on Mankind with the chair before cracking Mankind over the head with the chair.
That gets two back in the ring but Mankind kicks Rock low to take over again. Rock is sent back to the floor for the elbow off the apron. Mankind starts taking the announce table apart as JR loses it even more. Mankind is heel for the most part coming in but he’s a sympathetic heel. A legdrop on the table mostly misses Rock but it gets two back inside. Off to the chinlock again and Rock’s comeback is cut short by a backdrop to the floor again.
Back in again and Rock hits a DDT to put both guys down. Mankind sends him to the floor AGAIN but a middle rope elbow to the floor sends the masked one through the announce table. The crash looked great if nothing else. We head back inside and the People’s Elbow gets two. A double arm DDT puts Rock down and here’s Socko. Rock hangs on in the Claw forever and comes out of it with a Rock Bottom but it only gets a delayed two. Rock puts on the Sharpshooter and Vince says ring the bell just like last year, giving Rock the title, because Rock is Corporate. He’s also the new champion.
Rating: C-. This definitely wasn’t their best performance with the constant going to the floor getting old fast. Mankind would have his day but it would take awhile to get there. This was all about the shock which shouldn’t be a shock when you think about it. All night it was assumed that Mankind was the Corporate guy, but let’s look at this.
Rock’s first match was against a corporate guy and he just happens to get the easiest pin ever. Then a corporate guy throws in a nightstick so Rock can beat another corporate guy. Then Rock wins by DQ, and now this. That’s establishing a story and giving clues instead of an illogical swerve. It’s easy to tell which is better as this is shocking, but also MAKES SENSE. This is what Russo was capable of, but we almost never got to see it.
Rock hugs the McMahons and JR erupts. Vince says the people have themselves to blame and the explanation is coming tomorrow on Raw. Mankind isn’t sure what to do. Vince brags about screwing Austin over and Shane brags a bit in general. Rock says it’s time for the fans to pucker up to him. Mankind wants to know why he lost because he never gave up. Rock hits him with the belt and here’s Austin to clean house. This set up Rock vs. Austin for the title the next night in a HUGE match which I believe set a then ratings record.
Overall Rating: D+. This show was ALL about the stories and not much about the wrestling. The matches were mostly bad with a few ok ones, but those aren’t the point. This was about Vince and Shane doing their things and getting their Corporate Champion. All of that was accomplished and this set the stage until Wrestlemania. This show doesn’t really hold up that well on its own, but in context this would have been gold.
Ratings Comparison
Mankind vs. Duane Gill
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Al Snow vs. Jeff Jarrett
Original: B+
Redo: C+
Steve Austin vs. Big Boss Man
Original: D
Redo: C-
X-Pac vs. Steven Regal
Original: B
Redo: C-
Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust
Original: D+
Redo: D-
The Rock vs. Big Boss Man
Original: A (For Are you kidding me)
Redo: N/A
Undertaker vs. Kane
Original: C-
Redo: F+
Mankind vs. Al Snow
Original: D
Redo: D+
The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Sable vs. Jacqueline
Original: D
Redo: D-
Mankind vs. Steve Austin
Original: C+
Redo: C+
The Rock vs. Undertaker
Original: B-
Redo: D
New Age Outlaws vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry vs. The Headbangers
Original: F
Redo: F
Mankind vs. The Rock
Original: B-
Redo: C-
Overall Rating:
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Man what was I thinking with some of those ratings? I had no idea what I was doing back then and it shows.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1997 (2012 Redo): They Survived
Survivor Series 1997
Date: November 9, 1997
Location: Molson Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 20,593
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We had to get here eventually. This is the show that changes everything in wrestling, as we officially enter into the new era. It’s also the last appearance by Bret Hart in the WWF for over 13 years, as this show has the most infamous ending to a match and a show in wrestling history. You young people often hear references to Montreal? Well this is the show they’re talking about. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about the Iron Man Match, where Shawn won the title in overtime. Bret has since gone insane and claimed conspiracy after conspiracy against him, mainly led by Vince and Shawn. The main event tonight is Bret vs. Shawn II. By that I mean about Bret vs. Shawn VIII (It’s not even their first world title match at Survivor Series) but you get the point.
There’s a Karate Fighters (game at the time) flying around. I’m sure people who paid good money for their seats are THRILLED that they get to look at a blimp instead of being able to see the ring.
Team New Age Outlaws vs. Team Headbangers
New Age Outlaws, Godwinns
Headbangers, New Blackjacks
The Outlaws I’m sure you know, the Godwinns are evil here and are Henry and Phineas, the Headbangers are Mosh and Thrasher, and the Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. Windham (looking FAT here) starts with Phineas, the latter of which is immediately knocked to the floor with a shoulder block. This is when the Outlaws are a new team of jobbers who would soon shock the world and win the titles from the LOD.
Off to Bradshaw who looks skinny here by comparison to what he would become. Phineas gets a boot up in the corner as the evil ones take over. The Outlaws don’t want to come in so it’s off to Henry instead. Bradshaw gets two off a legsweep and puts on an abdominal stretch before falling back and rolling up Henry for the pin. Back to Windham to face Phineas, with Barry hitting a gutwrench suplex and a lariat for two. Phineas comes back with a clothesline of his own for the elimination and to tie it up at three.
Mosh comes in to take over on Phineas with a devastating armbar. It’s off to Billy who beats down Mosh and receives homophobic chants in his general nature. Or maybe it’s something in French. We get down to some basic wrestling and the fans go SILENT. Mosh tries a bulldog but Billy shoves him off and gets the pin for a quick elimination. It’s Thrasher/Bradshaw vs. Phineas/Outlaws.
Thrasher (trivia for you: Thrasher had a big hand in training Big Show) comes in and works on the arm but Phineas takes him down in return. The action in this match is really dull so far. Thrasher goes up and hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin to make it 2-2. Off to Bradshaw vs. Road Dogg with the future JBL pounding away. A gutwrench powerbomb puts Dogg down but a Billy distraction lets Roadie get a school boy to pin Bradshaw.
Thrasher pounds on Dogg but walks into a pumphandle slam. He counters into a cover on the Dogg, but Billy comes off the top with a legdrop. Now when I say legdrop, I mean he literally is a foot away from Thrasher but gets the pin anyway. This looked so bad that even though I had seen it before, it still made my jaw drop. The Outlaws survive.
Rating: F-. The ending alone makes this a failure, but on top of that, the best worker in this match by far was Thrasher. Let that sink in for a minute. The Outlaws had only been the Outlaws for a month and a half or so at this point so no one cared about them, the Godwinns are as interesting as corporate accounting, the Blackjacks are the Blackjacks, and the Headbangers are barely interesting at all. This was a horrible match and an even worse choice for an opener.
Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse
Jackyl, Interrogator, Sniper, Recon
Crush, 8-Ball, Skull, Chainz
The Truth Commission is based on a real South African thing, where there were a lot of crimes were committed during Apartheid and the government said “tell the truth that you committed/witnessed these crimes and say you’re sorry.” Amazingly enough it calmed a lot of people down and made the situation a lot better. That being said, I have NO idea why it’s used as a wrestling gimmick. In short, they’re a military themed group. That sums them up as simply as I can.
Jackyl is the leader and is more famous as Cyrus in ECW. Interrogator is Kurrgan and the real star of the team. Sniper is a French Canadian wrestler who means nothing at all and Recon is Bull Buchanan. Crush is Crush, 8-Ball and Skull are big twins and Chainz is Brian Lee from ECW. This really doesn’t scream interesting to me but this is during the Gang Warz period which didn’t ever do anything for me.
Interrogator and Chainz start things off after a brawl with Chainz hammering away but having no visible effect. A sidewalk slam eliminates Chainz in about a minute. Off to Recon vs. 8-Ball with Recon hitting a World’s Strongest Slam for no cover. Jackyl comes in for what might be the only match he ever wrestled in WWF. Apparently that’s almost true as he only had some Shotgun Saturday Night matches other than this. He’s much better as a manager anyway.
Jackyl drops a top rope knee which is immediately no sold. He chops away a bit but walks into a sidewalk slam for the pin to make it 3-3. Sniper jumps 8-Ball and hits some elbows for two as Jackyl is on commentary now. Off to Crush, the leader of the team, who stomps away on Sniper a bit. Recon comes back in to face Skull and they collide, sending Skull to the floor. 8-Ball comes in illegally and clotheslines Recon down for the pin.
Sniper comes in to beat on Skull but gets caught in a double spinebuster from the twins for two. Interrogator hits 8-Ball from the apron and Sniper hits a bulldog for the elimination, making it 2-2. If this match sounds like a total mess that is hard to follow, it’s because that’s being nice about what’s going on.
Off to Crush for a figure four headscissors on Recon. Skull (I’m picking the names arbitrarily. It makes absolutely no difference at all and JR has no idea which is which anyway) DDTs Sniper but walks into a sidewalk slam from Interrogator for the pin. It’s Crush vs. Sniper and Interrogator and Crush immediately powerslams Sniper down for the pin. Interrogator is in the ring before the pin hits and ANOTHER FREAKING SIDEWALK SLAM gives Interrogator the final pin and the victory.
Rating: F. In ten minutes, we had seven eliminations, FOUR of which were by the SAME FREAKING MOVE. This was another match where just like the first, there was no one out there that could carry things to make the match work in any way. It makes Interrogator looks good, but it barely accomplished that because of how bad the match was.
We’re about thirty five minutes into the show and it may be the worst thirty five minutes to open a show that I’ve ever seen.
Some fans pick the main event. It’s pretty much split.
Austin answers some questions from America Online.
We recap Team Canada vs. Team USA. Steve Blackman is in the match for the Americans now after running into the ring to save Vader on Monday so tonight is his debut.
Vader says his team doesn’t look the same but that’s because they’re Americans.
Team Canada (captained by an Englishman) says they’ll win.
Team USA vs. Team Canada
Vader, Steve Blackman, Marc Mero, Goldust
British Bulldog, Jim Neidhart, Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon
If this is the best America can do, I need to learn to speak Canadian. Team America comes out to Angle’s music. Naturally the Americans are booed out of the building. The Canadians come out to Bret’s music to make sure the idea is hammered home. Furnas is from Oklahoma and Neidhart is from Nevada, but he had dual citizenship so it’s not as insane. I think Furnas has the long hair but I can never remember which is which.
Mero, wearing a hat, starts with Bulldog. Mero takes off the hat and Bulldog wipes himself with it, making him a hero in America. Bulldog knocks Mero to the floor and makes fun of Blackman’s martial arts in a funny bit. Vader comes in sans tag and works on Smith’s arm but jumps into a slam. Bulldog EASILY suplexes Vader and it’s off to Lafon. I was right about Furnas having the long hair. Good to know.
Back to Mero who hits a knee lift but gets his head kicked off by Lafon, followed by a clothesline for two. Off to Neidhart and then right back to Lafon. Blackman comes in and JR points out that Steve isn’t a wrestler. Lafon DDTs him for two and gets a crucifix for the same. Blackman fights off Team Canada on his own but gets caught on the floor in a fight with Furnas and Lafon, resulting in a countout elimination.
It’s Mero vs. Neidhart now with Jim missing a middle rope splash. Vader comes in and is immediately knocked down twice by Neidhart. Vader comes back with the running body attack and a splash for the pin. Lafon comes in again with some kicks to send Vader to the floor. Back in and Lafon is sent rolling to the corner and a big belly to belly puts him down. A middle rope splash is enough to put Lafon out, leaving Bulldog and Furnas vs. Vader, Mero and Goldust.
Furnas comes in to pound away but misses a dropkick, allowing the tag in to Mero. Has Goldie been in there yet? Mero pounds Furnas down and goes up for a moonsault press and it looks AWFUL, with Furnas going down like he was trying to powerslam Mero out of the air but Mero hitting the move like usual. Either way it gets two and it’s off to Bulldog because Furnas doesn’t seem to be sure what planet he’s on.
Mero escapes the Bulldog powerslam and blasts Smith with a right hand. Back to Furnas who fires off the rights and lefts. Furnas does the exact same thing, but Mero is a legitimate former amateur boxing champion so that’s not really a fair contest. Mero tries a rollup but gets reversed into one by Furnas who grabs a handful of tights to get us down to 2-2.
Vader pounds on Furnas as the King laments Sable having to leave with Mero. Furnas clotheslines Vader down and it’s off to Bulldog again. Goldust, who apparently has a broken hand, STILL doesn’t want to come in. Vader suplexes Furnas down but Furnas hits Vader low. When Vader gets another break from Bulldog, Goldie hides on the floor from a tag. Furnas suplexes Vader down but doesn’t tag. A Frankensteiner takes Vader down for two but Vader no sells it.
Vader slugs Goldust in the face and pulls him into the ring. This is when Goldust walked out on Marlena when she was pregnant because he didn’t want the responsibility or the lack of attention. Goldust walks out for a countout but Vader slams Furnas down and hits the Vader Bomb for the elimination. Vader turns around and is knocked silly with the ring bell from Bulldog for the final elimination.
Rating: C-. This was a better match by miles and miles than the first two, mainly due to people with actual talent being in there. On top of that, the people CARED about the match and it makes the match a lot better by result. The result was never in doubt given how worthless Team America was, but it was cool to see Vader getting to be like his old self, even for one night. The match still wasn’t great but after the first two matches tonight, this was a masterpiece by comparison.
Buy Austin’s shirt!
We recap Kane vs. Mankind, by talking about Undertaker. The idea here is that Undertaker kept saying Kane wasn’t alive, but Bearer insisted he was. Kane showed up at Badd Blood and cost Taker the first Cell match. Kane destroyed various people, including Dude Love. Dude left but was replaced by a certain Mankind. Mankind offered to stand up to the monster and tonight it’s Kane’s debut match. Mankind’s solution to Kane: hit him in the head with a pipe. I love it when things get basic like that.
Mankind promises to charge against a brick wall as many times as it takes until it goes down, and if he dies launching himself into that brick wall, so be it. If that’s what it takes to get to Paul Bearer, so be it.
Kane vs. Mankind
The brawl starts immediately on the floor with Kane throwing Mankind into the steps. Kane has the red lights ala Sin Cara during his matches at this point. With Mankind half dead in the ring, Kane does the corner fire deal and the match starts. Mankind fights up and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. Kane knocks him right back down and throws the steps at Mankind’s head to take him down one more time. Back in and Mankind charges into a big boot and Kane chokes away in the corner.
Kane sends it to the floor again and beats on Mankind some more, but Foley hot shots him onto the steps to slow the monster down. A chair to the head knocks Kane back into the ring and there’s a piledriver, but Mankind goes after Bearer instead of Kane. Kane sits up and chokeshoves Mankind off the apron and through the announce table. The Spanish one of course.
Kane loads up a chokeslam on the floor but Mankind kicks him low (which only works on Kane on occasion) and DDTs him on the concrete. The elbow off the apron hits Kane again but Kane sits up and slams Mankind off the top to the floor. Back in and Mankind literally pulls himself up to his feet and is immediately tombstoned for the pin.
Rating: C+. When you have a new guy you want to put over, you call Mick Foley. This is a match you have to think about to get why it worked. First and foremost, Kane is supposed to be a monster who has very little experience in the ring. Think of him like Jason from Friday the 13th or something like that (Youtube Jerry Lawler vs. Jason. It’s EXACTLY what it sounds like and it actually exists) as someone who just wants carnage instead of wanting to be technical. These two beat the tar out of each other and it made Kane look unstoppable. That would continue for about five and a half months until the Dead Man came back.
Vince says the main event will happen tonight.
Team Legion of Doom vs. Nation of Domination
Legion of Doom, Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson
Farrooq, The Rock, Kama Mustafa, D’Lo Brown
The LOD and company talk about being ready for war. The LOD are tag champions. Hawk and Brown start with D’Lo bouncing off Hawk. Hawk no sells a piledriver as is his custom and a neckbreaker puts Brown down. Off to Rocky who gets knocked around but someone hits Hawk in the back and the yet to be named Rock Bottom eliminates Bird Man.
Off to Ahmed who “hits” a jumping back elbow to take Rock down. Kama, a freaking monster who would become a pimp named Godfather, is in next and takes Johnson down with one shot. Farrooq is in next to work on Ahmed’s ribs and continue a feud that went on for like a year. Brown whips Ahmed with a belt which the referee somehow doesn’t hear. Farrooq loads up the Dominator but Johnson escapes (while falling down) and hits a Pearl River Plunge (Tiger Driver) for the elimination.
Brown comes in again and hits a quick Low Down for no cover. Johnson starts no selling and hits a sitout gordbuster. Farrooq is still at ringside. Rock comes in but walks into a spinebuster. Ahmed hits the ropes but Farrooq trips him up and holds the foot so Rocky can get the pin. It’s Animal/Shamrock vs. Brown/Rocky/Kama at the moment. Animal comes in to face Rocky but it’s quickly off to Shamrock. Ken is still somewhat new here so his style still looks fresh.
A big dropkick puts Rocky down and it’s off to Kama. After getting beaten around for a bit, Kama puts on a front facelock to slow things down. A double clothesline puts both guys down but not for long. Some LOUD noise freaks everyone out and JR and King don’t know what it was either. Anyway Animal gets two off a legdrop but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Kama showboats a bit too much though and Animal dropkicks him in the back and gets a rollup for the pin.
Brown comes in and during the distraction, Rocky hits Shamrock low for two. D’Lo hooks a chinlock followed by a backbreaker, but his moonsault misses by about two feet. The Outlaws come out while wearing the stolen LOD shoulder pads, and we’ve got powder and a shoved referee. Animal gets counted out during this mess, leaving us with Brown/Rock vs. Shamrock.
JR talks about how many people Shamrock has made tap out. Jerry: “This is wrestling. You don’t win by making people tap out.” JR: “…….YEAH YOU DO!” Brown starts but it’s both Nation members in there at once. Shamrock runs them both over, suplexes Brown and gets the submission via ankle lock. Rock cracks Ken in the back with a chair shot but it only gets two. Rock hits his spinning DDT for two as does the People’s Elbow (not a thing yet). Ken comes back with a northern lights suplex and a standing hurricanrana. There’s the ankle lock and Rocky is done.
Rating: C. This was a little messy but it pushed Shamrock hard while the heat for Rocky was INSANE. The crowd hated him and Vince certainly took notice. Both of these guys would get huge pushes in the next year with Rock winning the title at next year’s Survivor Series. The LOD were in their very last run of note here and they didn’t go out well after that. Fun match here although not great from a technical standpoint at all.
We recap Austin vs. Owen. Austin was challenging for the IC Title at Summerslam when Owen piledrove him, legitimately hurting his neck (and in the long run saving the company because of what Austin had to evolve into) and paralyzing Austin for a few minutes. Austin amazingly enough finished the match and WON THE TITLE, which is remarkable when you think about it. He had to forfeit the title but tonight he’s going for it again.
Intercontinental Title: Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart
Owen is defending, having won the title in a tournament since Austin was hurt. Owen has Lafon, Furnas and Bulldog with him. Hart stalls forever on the floor while rocking an Owen 3:16 (I Just Broke Your Neck) shirt. Neidhart tries to sneak in on Austin but walks into a Stunner. The champion gets in a shot to start and tries a piledriver, much to the crowd’s delight. Owen wraps the knee around the post but gets kicked in the face.
The Hart Foundation leaves and Austin clotheslines Owen in the back on the floor. Hart puts Owen onto the broken Spanish Announce Table before choking away with a cord. Hart wants to be DQ’ed and rings the bell early. WOW that’s almost eerie. Back in and Austin stomps Owen in the corner, hits the Stunner and wins the title. It’s as quick as it sounds.
Rating: D+. This was barely four minutes long. I’d assume they were unsure about how long Austin could go out there and if that’s the case it’s more than understandable. Austin would again forfeit the title a month later because he wanted to go after the world title, which he would of course win at Wrestlemania.
Attitude. It’s here.
We recap Bret vs. Shawn. This is Bret’s chance to get his win back from Shawn at Wrestlemania 12. Bret was bitter at Shawn after a massive heel turn, so there’s some great hatred going on here. I’ll get to the big story of it and my thoughts at the end. Ironically enough Shawn cost Undertaker the title, giving it to Bret, at Summerslam.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is European Champion coming into this for no particular reason other than he wanted Bulldog to not have the title anymore. Shawn wipes himself with the Canadian flag during his entrance to further make himself public enemy #1. We get the long tracking shot for Bret’s entrance which is always cool for some reason. Shawn jumps Bret to start but Bret snaps on him and beats Shawn right back down to the delight of the crowd.
A HARD clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and Bret is going off. I don’t think the bell rang yet. Bret takes it to the crowd and Shawn is reeling. Vince, Slaughter and a half dozen referees are at ringside now. JR talks about how this could be Bret’s last match if he loses. Shawn gets an American flag bandana and chokes him into the crowd. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Bret backdrops Shawn over the barricade and back to ringside.
Shawn keeps trying to piledrive Bret on the concrete but Hart keeps escaping. They head back into the crowd with Bret in total control. They go to the entrance and Bret decks a referee. Back into the ring they go and the bell FINALLY rings as Bret chokes Shawn with a Fleur de Lis. Shawn comes back with the forearm and nipup as the fans chant that Shawn is gay.
Michaels chokes with the flag as Bret has a busted hand. Shawn stalls a lot because that’s the kind of guy he is. Back to the floor with Shawn pounding on Bret and spitting on the crowd. Shawn drops Bret face first on the steps and breaks a Canadian flag over his knee. Back in and Shawn hits a top rope ax handle and it’s off to a front facelock. Bret escapes in what has to be the loudest reaction to a broken front facelock of all time.
Shawn comes back and slams Bret down but Bret rolls through a cross body off the top for two. Bret puts on the Hartbreaker, the figure four around the post. Bret goes after the knee in almost perfect Ric Flair fashion, down to the cannonballs down to the knee and a Figure Four. Shawn finally turns it over and Bret gets a rope. A Russian legsweep gets two for Bret as does a snap suplex. Bret goes up but Shawn pulls the referee into the way so the shot hits Hebner instead. Shawn rakes Bret’s eyes, puts Bret in the Sharpshooter, and Hebner calls for the bell to give Shawn the title in the most infamous moment ever in wrestling.
Rating: B-. I’m only talking about the match here. The main thing to keep in mind about the famous ending is that there was about twenty minutes of brawling and of the actual match before the finish. I think that’s something people forget because of the famous part. The match we got was quite good, which isn’t really surprising given how familiar these two were with each other. It’s no masterpiece, but it felt like an epic encounter, which is what it needed to do.
Now we’ll get to the big white elephant in Montreal. I’ve not going to pretend like I have some big insight into what happened because I certainly don’t. Books have been written about what happened here and there’s no point in rehashing the whole thing all over again. In short, it was Bret’s last match, he didn’t want to lose the title in Canada, a screwy finish was agreed on, Vince changed the ending and screwed over Bret, Bret wasn’t seen in WWE for almost thirteen years.
After all the years since then, I think both parties were wrong, but Bret needed to get over himself. So what if he had to lose the title in Canada? I get that he couldn’t stand Shawn, but for someone who seems to pride himself on being oh so professional, it’s pretty lame to say he doesn’t want to lose the title in another country when he made it clear he was leaving.
Vince was in major trouble at this point and was under a lot of pressure. While I don’t think he believed Bret would trash the title on Raw, he had to be worried about something happening, like the title having no value if Bret never lost it, which is understandable. Did he go about the issue the right way? No, but it wasn’t a normal circumstance. Vince did what he thought was best and while it caused a ton of controversy, it was one of the few things he could do. There are a to of different ways you can look at it, and there isn’t a single right answer.
Overall Rating: D+. Main event aside, this was a pretty bad show overall. The first forty minutes are AWFUL, the next match is just ok, Kane vs. Mankind is decent, the next match is about building for the future, the match after that was basically a squash, and the main event was good but not great. When the best you can do is good but not great, you’ve got a problem. They’re pretty lucky that only the main event is remembered here, because the rest of the show sucked.
Ratings Comparison
Team New Age Outlaws vs. Team Headbangers
Original: D+
Redo: F-
Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse
Original: F
Redo: F
Team Canada vs. Team USA
Original: B+
Redo: C-
Kane vs. Mankind
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Team Legion of Doom vs. Nation of Domination
Original: B
Redo: C
Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart
Original: C
Redo: D+
Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart
Original: B+
Redo: B-
Overall Rating
Original: B+
Redo: D+
Now there’s a major change, likely the biggest so far.
Here’s the original review if you’re interested:
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