Monday Night Raw
Date: December 20, 2021
Location: Fiserv Forum, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Day One and the Raw World Title match has grown. Last week Bobby Lashley won a series of matches to earn the right to be added to the match as the bad guys had a big night. Now we need to change things up a bit on the way to the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley running the gauntlet last week to earn the Day One title shot.

Here are MVP and Bobby Lashley for a chat. MVP hypes up Lashley’s accomplishments last week and explains just how impressive it really was. Now no one can hang with him, but here is Big E. to interrupt. Big E. was impressed last week, but the Lashley that he knows (the one with a lot of sisters) has all of his success on his own.

That made it all the more surprising when MVP hit Big E. in the knee with a cane last week. Lashley says he’s a monster but he’ll take a win how he can. Besides, MVP said if he couldn’t do it, MVP could…so let’s do that right now. Lashley heads outside so MVP loads up the cane, only to have Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins jump him from behind. The brawl is on, until Big E. helps Lashley clear the ring. Just announce the tag match.

We recap Bianca Belair vs. Doudrop.

Belair is ready for the final showdown with Doudrop so she can take her out once and for all.

Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens are panicking over Bobby Lashley when Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce come in. They make the main event tag match for later tonight.

Doudrop vs. Bianca Belair

Belair wastes no time in trying the KOD, sending Doudrop bailing to the floor. Doudrop s smart enough to snap the throat across the top rope and take her into the corner for the big forearms. A World’s Strongest Slam plants Belair but she rolls away from the backsplash. Belair rolls outside, where she catches Doudrop with a spinebuster to send us to a break. Back with Belair getting crotched on top and then failing at a sunset bomb.

Instead, Doudrop hits a splash in the corner, setting up a Cannonball. The confidence is starting to pick up so Belair strikes away to start the comeback. Belair scores with a middle rope crossbody and the handspring moonsault gets two (hit the shocked kickout face). It’s time for Belair to go up top this time but Doudrop powerbombs her down in a heap. Another Vader Bomb misses though and now the KOD can finish Doudrop at 10:48.

Rating: C+. This was a showcase for Belair as the power game was on full display. The KOD at the end looked very good as she muscled Doudrop up and planted her perfectly. They billed this as the big finale of the feud and it would be nice to see Belair move back into the title picture. It’s not like there is anything else for her to do at the moment.

We recap Austin Theory attacking Finn Balor over the last few weeks.

Finn Balor vs. Austin Theory

Balor goes right after him to start and the fight heads out to the floor. Theory actually gets the better of things and takes it back inside for corner clotheslines. We hit the chinlock to keep Balor down but he fights up, only to get neckbreakered off the apron to send us to a break. Back with Balor scoring with a quick double stomp to get a breather, setting up more kicks to the downed Theory. Balor gets crotched on top though, setting up a springboard Spanish Fly. Theory is so happy that he grabs the phone, allowing Balor to reverse into a cradle for two. ATL is escaped though and the Coup de Grace connects for the pin at 9:03.

Rating: C+. I’m not wild on having Theory lose but it was to one of the more established stars on the show. Theory seems to be one of the projects on Raw at the moment, which could be good or bad. I could go for more of both of these guys and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them do this again at Day One.

AJ Styles and Omos are ready to fix things on MizTV.

Smackdown Rebound.

It’s time for MizTV. Before we get to the point, Miz wants to clear everything up: he and Maryse are perfectly fine. With that out of the way, we get our guests for the week with AJ Styles and Omos. The two of them have been having problems but Styles wants them to get together and win ALL of the titles. That’s not what Miz has heard though, as Omos has been saying that Styles holds him back and Omos could do all of this himself. Styles recruited Omos to WWE but now he is ready to be the big star all on his own. Styles doesn’t know what to say but he has to worry about that later.

AJ Styles/Omos vs. Mysterios

Dominik picks up the pace to start but gets pulled into an abdominal stretch to slow him down. That’s fine with Dominik, who flips out and brings Rey in to hammer away. The tornado DDT sets up a 619 but the frog splash hits knees. Back up and Omos won’t tag in, allowing Rey to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:23.

Post match AJ yells at Omos, who shoves him away. That’s enough for Styles, who starts hammering on Omos to limited avail. Omos catches him in a fireman’s carry faceplant and says he’ll see Styles in a match.

Austin Theory goes to Vince McMahon’s office.

Randy Orton vs. Chad Gable

Orton is here alone while Otis is with Gable. Orton goes after the arm to start but gets taken to the mat without much trouble. Gable wrestles him down again and Orton needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Orton grabs a headlock takeover but Gable quickly reverses into an armbar. Some armdrags set up another armbar as Orton is getting frustrated. Orton sends him outside and catches Gable with the hanging DDT on the way back in. That’s broken up and Gable hits an armdrag (not a German suplex Graves) but misses another, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the pin at 2:59.

Post match Otis goes after Orton, who bails when he can’t hit the RKO.

Bobby Lashley/Big E. vs. Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens is set for later.

Lashley can’t trust Big E. but he can beat up all three of them tonight. MVP isn’t worried either.

Earlier today, Dana Brooke and Reggie went on another not-date, this time around a bunch of nice looking Christmas trees. This time Akira Tozawa is an elf but Tamina is here to yell at him for getting in the way. Santa Truth showed up and the brawl was on between the women and Dana escapes again. I’d rather just look at the Christmas lights.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damian Priest

Non-title but a Champion’s Contenders match, with Robert Roode in Ziggler’s corner. Ziggler kicks at the knee to start but has to counter a powerbomb attempt into a sunset flip for two. Priest takes him down and goes up top though, only to get superplexed back down as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler hitting his running DDT for two but Priest strikes away to cut him down. The Broken Arrow gets two and a kick to the face knocks Ziggler silly. The referee has to check on Ziggler, allowing Roode to trip Priest off the apron. That sends Priest too far so he goes after Roode, earning himself a countout at 9:01.

Rating: C. Not exactly a surprise here as Ziggler has a tendency to get more title shots and rematches than anyone in the history of wrestling. Priest getting to beat him up will work out well enough for him in the future, but for now this wasn’t exactly an interesting match. At least Priest didn’t take a pin here, so I’ll call that a minor victory.

Post match Priest chases Ziggler off and beats Roode up again, including the Reckoning on the floor.

Finn Balor is on to more important things but Austin Theory jumps him. Theory drops him hard onto the anvil case and Balor is grimacing.

Post break, Austin Theory goes in to see Vince McMahon, who liked Theory getting at Balor again. Not that it matters though as Theory lost his match. Vince likes watching revenge though, as it makes him feel like he had a good meal. Next week, Theory gets to face Balor again and Vince threatens him with the eraser again. Then he blows eraser shavings at Theory and says Ho Ho Ho.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge, because this show needed two talk shows. Edge talks about how much he has in common with his guest, in that they are both Canadian and frustrated with Miz. The guest is Maryse, who isn’t here to be Edge’s friend, but she goes on a rant about how she can’t get a word in around Miz. She has a lump in her stomach but she wants people to know that there is a woman behind Maryse. It has been fifteen years with Mike Mizanin and she wants a thank you. She takes care of everything from the house to the kids and now she is exhausted.

Edge looks a bit stunned as Maryse moves on to how she almost got hurt last week. If something happens to her, who is taking care of her kids? Would Edge have ever done this to his wife? Edge apologizes that Maryse’s life is some kind of horrible country song. Is anyone else buying this? Of course he wouldn’t do this to Beth Phoenix because he respects her. Get Miz out here already, so here is Miz to interrupt. Edge catches him coming in from behind but Maryse hits Edge with her purse, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale. Of course everything is ok with Miz and Maryse. Phoenix has to be showing up soon right?

Rhea Ripley vs. Queen Zelina

Nikki Ash and Carmella are barred from ringside. Zelina promises that Ripley won’t be able to end her reign. Ripley blocks a kick to the ribs to start but misses a big boot. Instead Vega tries a tornado DDT, which is blocked as well. Vega spins into a jawbreaker for two on Ripley, who easily blocks a running knee. A delayed superplex doesn’t work for Ripley as Vega slips between the legs and hits a running knee for two. Not that it matters as Ripley hits Riptide for the pin at 2:09, meaning she is a bit better without Ash.

Big E. doesn’t have to team well with Bobby Lashley tonight. Cue Lashley, with Big E. wondering where MVP is to jump him again. Lashley says don’t worry about that, but just be ready for later.

Here is Liv Morgan for a chat, complete with a kendo stick. Morgan talks about how Becky Lynch accepted the rematch for Day One, but only after she injured Morgan’s arm. She talks about going to Iowa to jump Becky at her gym in Iowa and we see a clip of the attack. Morgan showed up and went after Becky, but it was a lookalike so the real Becky could jump her (ignore the pretty big gap in logic to get there).

Instead, Becky got beaten up anyway and Morgan is ready for Day One. Becky can try to break her arm, but she’s going to break Becky’s face. Cue Becky, who asks how Morgan feels about beating up an innocent woman. Morgan says Becky went after her arm but she beat Becky up with one good arm. That gets some respect from Becky, but she doesn’t think Morgan can handle the heat. Morgan throws the stick to Becky, who leaves anyway.

I like Morgan a good bit, but STOP HAVING HER DO THESE LONG RECITED PROMOS. They don’t sound like things she would say and it’s obvious that she is just reading words given to her. She got popular doing one thing and now they’re having her do the opposite to weaker effect. Why is this a surprise anymore?

Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens vs. Big E./Bobby Lashley

Lashley wrecks them both to start and we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Lashley hitting a one armed delayed vertical suplex to drop Rollins again. Rollins manages to send him outside though and Owens stomps away to take over. Lashley gets thrown back inside to keep up the beating, which he shrugs off without much trouble.

Big E. comes in for the suplexes and gyrating, setting up a clothesline to send Rollins outside. Owens gets in a cheap shot though and Rollins adds a frog splash for two. We take another break and come back with Lashley wrecking things again, allowing the tag back to Big E. Everything breaks down and Lashley spears Big E., followed by another spear to Owens for the pin at 14:04.

Rating: C. I’m curious about how that ending was supposed to go as it felt like the match was going to end sooner rather than later anyway. The good thing is that Lashley gets another big win, as he is looking more and more like an unstoppable monster. I don’t know what that means for his chances at Day One, but he’s looking awesome on the way there.

Post match Rollins makes a save about ten seconds late, as it seems the ending wasn’t as it was supposed to be. The Stomp hits Big E. and Lashley gets hit with the steps. The apron powerbomb and a Stomp on the steps leave Lashley laying. Owens and Rollins celebrate

Overall Rating: C-. While it wasn’t the mess that last week’s was in this area, this show continued to make me wonder why I would cheer for any of the heroes around here. Save for one or two, this show was filled with heroes who were either inept, lame or just stupid. Between Big E. being left laying again, Morgan not being able to tell which redhead was which (and Lynch being some genius strategist) and Edge knowing Miz’s plan and getting laid out anyway, there wasn’t much to get excited about here.

That’s been a major WWE problem for a long time and it was on full display this week. It’s like WWE builds someone up, gets us to cheer for them and then changes their minds and decides to cut them back down to size. Why they would want to do that is beyond me, but it is making for some dreadful television. The wrestling was fine, but egads it would be nice to have a main event face stand tall and look smart for a change around here.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Doudrop – KOD
Finn Balor b. Austin Theory – Coup de Grace
Mysterios b. AJ Styles/Omos – Rollup to Styles
Randy Orton b. Chad Gable – RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. Damian Priest via countout
Rhea Ripley b. Queen Zelina – Riptide
Big E./Bobby Lashley b. Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens – Spear to Owens

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 13, 2021
Location: Xcel Energy Center, St. Paul, Minnesota
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than three weeks away from Day One and the card seems to be at least somewhat set. That being said, it seems that we might be seeing a new addition to the Raw main event in the form of Bobby Lashley. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the change made official tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s cage match with Big E. defeating Kevin Owens, followed by Bobby Lashley laying out Owens, Big E. and Seth Rollins.

Here are MVP and Bobby Lashley to get things going. MVP says last week is what happens when you disrespect Lashley and that’s a problem with this generation. That’s why it is imperative to have Lashley added to the Day One WWE Title match, because that’s a great way to start the year.

Cue Kevin Owens to say he hasn’t been disrespecting the two of them because he hasn’t been paying attention to anything they have done in two years. Owens earned his way into the title match and in nineteen days, he becomes WWE Champion so the fans can have someone to believe in.

Now it’s Seth Rollins interrupting, saying you can’t start the show without the star. Rollins respects Lashley’s suit game and has to take Owens’ side, even though he can’t blame him. Lashley shouldn’t be in Rollins’ title match, which has MVP thinking the two of them are terrified. Lashley says get in the ring and do something about it, so Owens thinks they should go after him together. Rollins is in, so Owens tells Rollins to go first.

Arguing ensues so now it’s Big E. to interrupt, calling this his favorite group of idiots. Big E. talks about beating Lashley a few times so he has no problem doing it one more time. Cue Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to say the four way sounds like a good idea, so Lashley is in….if he can beat all three of the others tonight.

We look back at the Alpha Academy attacking Riddle last week.

Earlier today, Riddle is looking at the blazers, saying he has been watching tapes for ideas. Randy Orton says he hopes Riddle is focusing on their potential opponents, but Riddle is focusing on podcasting. Orton doesn’t want to hear about podcasting, being a shaman, or hanging out with jackasses on Smackdown. Riddle goes into a thing about the Jackass cast being at Smackdown, but Orton wants him to focus on Otis. If Riddle can beat Otis tonight, maybe, one day, a long time from now, he can put the blazer back on.

Kevin Owens is told that he has to face Bobby Lashley first and isn’t overly happy. Seth Rollins is reminded he has to face Lashley as well and storms off to get ready. Big E. is fine with a triple threat or a four way.

Riddle vs. Otis

Randy Orton and Chad Gable are here too. Otis knocks him outside to start and then drives Riddle back first into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Otis missing a charge to go shoulder first into the post. Riddle hits a kick to the face but a high crossbody is pulled out of the air. That’s broken up and Riddle strikes away, setting up the Floating Bro to a standing Otis. Somehow Otis gets back up and blocks the RKO, setting up the pop up World’s Strongest Slam to finish Riddle at 8:25.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to get very far due to the commercial, but at least they were doing something to make Otis look like a monster. I’m not sure how that is going to work since the Alpha Academy was eliminated from the tournament last week, but maybe we get a bit of a swerve.

Post match Orton hits the RKO on Gable but Otis elbows him down.

We look back at Doudrop attacking Bianca Belair.

Doudrop vs. Bianca Belair

They fight over a lockup to start with Belair having to climb the corner. That doesn’t work so well for Doudrop, as Belair armdrags her way out. Back up and Belair can’t drop her again, so it’s time for that dance she does in every match. Doudrop sends her into the corner but Belair is back with a pretty ugly hurricane into said corner and out to the floor.

Back in and Belair gets her own legs tied over the ropes, allowing Doudrop to hit a hard elbow as we take a break. We come back with Doudrop hitting a Michinoku Driver for two as Belair is in trouble. Doudrop loads up a Vader Bomb but gets reversed into a powerbomb, setting up a 450 to give Belair the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. I can go for the idea of Belair getting to show off her power and that 450 looked great. Doudrop is good as the monster but she was just there for Belair to slay. This should be enough to move on to something else, though that isn’t how WWE tends to work most of the time.

Post match, Doudrop jumps Belair again because a pinfall isn’t enough to finish a feud.

We look at the Next In Line signings from the NCAA.

Gable Steveson is here, complete with gold medal.

Kevin Owens says a lot of this is trash, but him winning the WWE Title will help.

Bobby Lashley vs. Kevin Owens

The first of three matches Lashley has to win to get into the Day One title match. Lashley powers him around to start but gets sent outside. The Cannonball from the apron misses though and Lashley runs him over again. Back in and Owens scores with a quick superkick, setting up the Cannonball in the corner.

There’s a backsplash for two on Lashley, followed by a tornado DDT for the same. Owens hits him in the face though and Lashley is mad, earning Owens a whip into the corner for an upside down crash. The Hurt Lock is blocked but so is the Stunner, allowing Lashley to hit a spinebuster. Lashley gets one arm up for the Hurt Lock and Owens taps immediately at 4:33.

Rating: C+. They packed a good bit of stuff in here and it was a good showcase for Lashley as a result. Owens tapping out immediately makes sense as he is the kind of guy who would hope Big E. and Seth Rollins will do the hard work for him. It’s just part one of three though, so we have a long way to go.

In the back, Seth Rollins is annoyed but is told that he is up next. Growling and walking ensue.

We look back at Liv Morgan coming up short in her title match against Becky Lynch.

Veer Mahaan is still coming.

Here is Becky Lynch for a chat. She’s still the champ, though some fans might be happier than others. Those people who are booing her are the same ones who begged for her to come back but then didn’t like her being mean. We see the Angry Liv Girl from last week, which makes me miss Angry Miz Girl. They aren’t the ones who got in this ring and broke down those gender barriers to become the biggest star in the industry. If you don’t evolve in this business, you get left behind, but don’t worry because she is holding this title for a long time.

Cue Liv Morgan to say that she made Becky doubt herself, hence the cheating to win. Girl in the crowd: “NO!!! BECKY RULES!!!” We see a photo of Becky cheating to win last week, which makes Liv know she can win. That’s why she wants a rematch at Day One, but the fight is on for now. Becky stomps gets her down onto the steps and stomps on the arm to leave Liv laying. With that out of the way, Becky accepts the challenge for Day One, but says she’s off to her house with her baby girl and hot husband.

We look back at Omos snapping and costing himself and AJ Styles a tag match last week. The team seemed to split after the match.

AJ Styles says this team isn’t done and you don’t give up on someone like Omos. Styles praises Omos as someone special, so here is Omos behind him. Omos thanks him and they seem good.

Reggie and Dana Brooke were in the snowy park earlier today, with Reggie offering some tips on keeping the 24/7 Title. Maybe over hot chocolate? Dana seems interested but R-Truth and Akira Tozawa are there in costumes. Cue Tamina to jump Brooke but she escapes, leading to a big chase into a pile of snow. Tamina tells Truth and Akira Tozawa to stay out of their way.

Damian Priest/Finn Balor vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

Priest throws Ziggler around to start but Roode comes in, allowing Priest to beat up both of them at once. Ziggler is sent outside with Roode following him, meaning Priest can drop them both as we take a break. Back with Priest beating up Ziggler until he is sent outside for a spinebuster from Roode. Balor comes in to clean house but cue Austin Theory for a distraction. Ziggler uses said distraction to hit the Zig Zag for the fast pin at 7:24.

Rating: D+. This was barely long enough to rate but the point was to move Theory vs. Balor (and maybe/hopefully Priest as well). That being said, being pinned by Ziggler in 2021 is not exactly the best sign for a wrestler’s future and I’m not sure how much more Balor is going to be doing in WWE. Maybe he sticks around, but egads it’s not the smoothest course for him.

We look at Zelina Vega beating Nikki Ash last week, setting up Jerry Lawler’s return to accidentally humiliate her even more.

Nikki Ash talks about how depressing things have been but Rhea Ripley wants the old Nikki back.

Queen Zelina vs. Rhea Ripley

Carmella and Nikki Ash are here too. Before the match, Vega talks about how the fans can cheer her, but loses the accent when they boo. Ripley shoves Vega around to start but Carmella goes after Nikki. A superkick leaves her laying so Ripley gets rid of Carmella, allowing Vega to grab a rollup for the pin at 58 seconds.

Kevin Owens pitches Seth Rollins another alliance but Rollins storms off.

Seth Rollins vs. Bobby Lashley

Second match Lashley has to win to be added to the Day One title match. Lashley knocks him outside without much effort to start but Rollins escapes the ram into the post. Back in and Lashley snaps off some suplexes, setting up the Downward Spiral. MVP: “BOBBY! SMASH!” Rollins bails outside to escape the Dominator but here is Kevin Owens to punch Rollins in the face…and that’s a DQ at 2:23. Hold on though as Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville come out to say not so fast. It’s being restarted as a No DQ match (which will be the case for Big E. vs. Lashley as well) so Lashley spears Rollins down for the pin at 3:36.

Austin Theory comes in to see Vince McMahon, who is meeting with Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez, to brag about taking out Finn Balor. Vince offers a pat on the back or a participation trophy, but Theory would rather have a match. Vince says they’re not friends and Theory hasn’t impressed him. Instead, Vince gives him a pencil and points out the eraser. I don’t think I get it.

Here is Maryse to host MizTV, with special guest….the Miz. After saying Maryse looks especially gorgeous tonight, Miz gets to the point: it’s almost the Road to Wrestlemania, and that means the Hall of Fame class will be announced soon. Miz would like to officially nominate himself to be the first member of the class, complete with a career highlight video. Miz and Maryse are near tears, but still toast the champagne to the idea of retiring Edge again at Day One.

Cue Edge to mock Miz for talking too much and telling him to shut up. Edge doesn’t get why Miz complains so much, but Miz doesn’t see what is so scary about him. We hear about Edge not helping him in 2006 so Miz throws the champagne in his eyes. The fight is on with Miz hiding behind Maryse to avoid the spear. The Skull Crushing Finale lays out Edge but Maryse yells at Miz for using her as a shield. Maryse slaps him and leaves. I’m not sure about this one, as Edge didn’t add anything with his comments, but the Maryse deal seems to open up the mixed tag door.

Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins give Big E. a pep talk but he calls them idiots and leaves.

Smackdown Rebound.

Commentary recaps Bobby Lashley’s gauntlet. Three fans get up from the front row and walk away as they’re talking.

We recap Lashley’s efforts so far.

MVP says Lashley is ready for Big E. in a No DQ match.

Big E. vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and No DQ, with Lashley needing a win to advance to the Day One WWE Title match. It’s a power brawl to start with Big E. knocking him down, meaning it’s already table time. Hold on though as Big E. has to go back inside and plant Lashley again. NOW the table can be tossed in but Big E. has to save himself from going through it. Lashley grabs a Downward Spiral but gets sent face first into a chair in the corner.

We take a break and come back with Big E. blocking a suplex through a table. Instead Big E. knocks him to the apron for some forearms to the chest and an apron splash. They head outside with Lashley driving him into the post but having to block the spear through the ropes. Back in and Lashley hits a heck of a spinebuster through the table as we take another break.

We come back with Big E. dropping Lashley onto the steps and then heading back inside. The Hurt Lock is blocked and a spear connects, but here are Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens to go after Lashley. Big E. fights both of them off but then gets double teamed down. Owens and Big E. head outside, where a Rock Bottom puts Owens through a table. Lashley spears Rollins through a table in the corner, allowing Big E. to get back in. That’s fine with MVP, who hits Big E. in the knee with the cane. Lashley’s spear is enough to send him to Day One at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It was a good power brawl and would have made a fine house show main event when Lashley was still champion, but egads this didn’t do Big E. any favors. I can only assume that Lashley is becoming a face after this as he has now beaten three former World Champions in one night, including in this match where two of them had to save the third. I’m not a fan of the champ losing, but it certainly made Lashley look like the biggest star on the show, which he pretty much is at this point.

Overall Rating: D. This is a show where the wrestling absolutely does not make up for everything else. I don’t remember the last time I felt like a company was trying to take away every single person I might want to cheer for on one night. Belair wins, then gets taken out two minutes later. That is the lone face win on the night, with everyone else losing or being laid out, including Liv Morgan and Edge in the big interview segments.

Then you have the main story of the night, with Lashley running through pretty much the entire main event scene so he can be added to the main event scene. That’s something that could have been stretched out for weeks but instead we gt it here in the span of a few hours. What does this leave for the story for the next two weeks? Talking and/or wacky tag matches? How lucky we are to receive such Christmas gifts.

Overall, this show felt like WWE was trying to take away the fun from the show and they certainly succeeded. There was nothing to cheer about all night and the show just kept dragging on. Day One has gone from a show I wanted to see to a show we need to get through so we can move on to the Road to Wrestlemania. Maybe it winds up working, but this was one of the most depressing episodes of WWE TV I can remember in a long, long time.

Results
Otis b. Riddle – Pop up World’s Strongest Slam
Bianca Belair b. Doudrop – 450
Bobby Lashley b. Kevin Owens – Hurt Lock
Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler b. Damian Priest/Finn Balor – Zig Zag to Balor
Queen Zelina b. Rhea Ripley – Rollup
Bobby Lashley b. Seth Rollins – Spear
Bobby Lashley b. Big E. – Spear

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Smackdown
Date: March 30, 2007
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final (of three) go home shows for Wrestlemania and I wouldn’t bet on seeing much in the way of important action here. That is perfectly fine in this case and they would be insane to try anything too complicated. We’re sure to get a lot of talking about Wrestlemania though and that should work out well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for a match with Matt Hardy, but first he wants to talk about Money in the Bank. Edge knows what it means to be in a match like this and what it can mean. He has cashed the briefcase in before and has won more ladder matches than everyone else in the match combined, so he’ll be winning again.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Actually hang on as Edge isn’t wrestling tonight, but he has a replacement.

Great Khali vs. Matt Hardy

Edge is at ringside as Matt hammers away to no avail to start. Khali kicks him down in the corner and the chokeslam is loaded up….but here is Kane. Well at least his pyro, so Khali goes up the ramp and Kane appears on screen. Kane holds up the hook and says two more days….and I guess the match just ends.

Teddy Long is making some dinner reservations when Krystal comes in. He has made dinner reservations for them, plus some dancing. Krystal shows off her ring gear and kisses him on the cheek before leaving. Long is rather pleased.

Finlay vs. Mr. Kennedy

There is a ladder at ringside and Kennedy points out the briefcase above the ring. They go with the hard lockup to start and fall out to the floor with neither being able to get an advantage. Back in and Finlay works on the hammerlock so Kennedy elbows his way to freedom. Kennedy nails a running boot in the corner for two but Finlay catches him trying to take off the turnbuckle pad. It’s too early to send Kennedy into the buckle though, as he reverses into a whip into said buckle.

The Regal Roll gives Kennedy two so it’s time for a ladder, which goes rather badly. Finlay goes shoulder first into the post and Kennedy rolls him up for two. Since pulling out a ladder didn’t work, Kennedy goes with the big ladder already set up at ringside. For some reason Kennedy throws it at Finlay, who ducks and hits a clothesline. Cue Hornswoggle with a two foot stepladder to Kenton Bomb Kennedy. Finlay grabs the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a messy match as they didn’t exactly have chemistry. Heel vs. heel is always a bit weird and I wasn’t exactly getting into it. The match certainly wasn’t bad or anything, but I was more waiting on it to finish up than getting into it, which is never a good sign.

We look at Vince McMahon pinning Bobby Lashley, albeit with some help, on Raw.

Maryse welcomes us back from commercial. Her robe opening up is just an accident of course.

MVP vs. Vito Batomango

Batomango’s Ethiopian Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. You might remember him from the earlier days of TNA as D-Ray 3000. MVP stomps him down and hits the running big boot in the corner. Some knees to the ribs set up some Chris Benoit style rolling German suplexes. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a total squash. The gimmick is kind of funny actually.

Post match MVP says he has made 5 pay per view appearances. At Wrestlemania, he is facing the man who is “4 real” and the referee will count 3. In 2 days, there is 1 United States Champion. That wasn’t bad.

We look at Batista and Undertaker erupting last week.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

They fight over a lockup to start until Jeff grabs a hammerlock. Orton fights up but gets caught in an armbar to mix up the cranking a bit. A rollup gives Jeff two and a sitout gordbuster drops Orton onto his head for the same. Jeff tries to jump over him in the corner but gets blasted with a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Orton grinding away on a chinlock.

Hardy fights up but walks into the backbreaker for two. The Garvin Stomp keeps Hardy in trouble and the dropkick sets up the choking on the ropes. Another chinlock has Hardy in trouble but he fights up again, this time with a Sling Blade. The slingshot dropkick in the corner gets two but Orton rolls away before the Swanton can launch. Cue Edge to go after Hardy so Orton yells at him, allowing Hardy to hook a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: C+. This got some time and Hardy getting the pin on Orton isn’t the biggest upset in the world. The good thing here was keeping up Edge vs. Orton, which has potential to be a heck of an upper midcard feud if that is the way they go. It’s nice to have something other than building momentum for the ladder match and it has helped a lot over the last few weeks.

We look back at Undertaker and Batista fighting last week.

We look at Shawn Michaels superkicking John Cena on Raw.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Melina/Victoria/Jillian Hall/Michelle McCool/Krystal vs. Ashley/Torrie Wilson/Candice Michelle/Maria/Mickie James

Mickie snapmares Victoria down into a basement dropkick to start but a regular dropkick misses. Michelle comes in and starts kicking away, followed by the same from Melina. Jillian gets in the hair toss and a slam, meaning it’s time to pose. Victoria’s elbow misses though and it’s off to Candice for a slam of her own, plus the Go Daddy dance. Maria gets in the Bronco Buster on Victoria and Torrie throws in a Stink Face. It’s off to Ashley for the real work though and house is cleaned in a hurry. Melina runs away from a fight and Ashley reverses Jillian’s powerbomb into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: D. I think you got the idea here and they weren’t exactly being subtle about everything they were doing. The match wasn’t any good because most of them aren’t really wrestlers, but Ashley looked a bit more competent so maybe there has been some coaching between her recent mess and this one.

King Booker vs. CM Punk

Booker has Queen Sharmell with him and backs Punk into the corner. Some right hands rock Punk but he snapmares Booker into a basement dropkick to the back of the head. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, setting up the knees to the face to make it even worse. A pull of the hair cuts Punk off again and Booker elbows him in the face for two. The seated armbar doesn’t last long as Punk is back up with even more kicks to the head. An enziguri gets two but Booker takes him right back down for another chinlock. That’s too far for Punk, who pops up into a bridging rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here, but it isn’t a surprise that they would want to keep things slow with two days to go before Wrestlemania. Just going six and a half minutes was surprising enough, but you can only get so far with a bunch of chinlocks and armbars. It’s nice to see Punk get a bigger win for once though.

We look at Shawn Michaels finally turning on John Cena on Raw.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

Video of the Wrestlemania press conference, where Donald Trump slapped Vince McMahon.

JBL gets in the ring for the big interview between Batista and Undertaker….but gets Steve Austin instead. Austin doesn’t waste time and Stuns JBL, allowing beer to be consumed.

Post break, Teddy Long brings out Batista and Undertaker for the real interview. Security keeps them apart, with Teddy saying this is Smackdown and not Wrestlemania. Batista says he doesn’t have as much respect for Undertaker, who has no response. Teddy asks what it is going to take to beat Undertaker. Batista: “48 hours.” The fight is on with security getting taken out. The spinebuster plants Undertaker, who sits up as Batista leaves. More staring and shouting ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They didn’t screw up, the ending was good, and we even got a long match. This was a fine go home show and that’s all it needed to be as they are on a roll heading into Detroit. I want to see the show as they have set everything up as well as possible. Good stuff here, which doesn’t surprise me at all after what they have done over the last month and a half or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: February 23, 2007
Location: ipayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

No Way Out has come and gone, with the big story being Batista attacking Undertaker to end the show. It wasn’t quite a heel turn but rather Batista being more aggressive and ready to fight. That should make things all the more interesting on the way to Wrestlemania and we could probably use some more stuff to build it up. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Way Out if you need a recap.

We open with a long video recapping Undertaker vs. Batista being set up, plus the No Way Out attack.

Michael Cole brings out Batista for a chat and if that was a heel turn (it wasn’t), it didn’t work. Batista isn’t going to need Cole as he talks about being familiar with Undertaker before he came to WWE. Undertaker is the Phenom and Batista has nothing but respect for him. That being said, he cannot apologize for what he did at No Way Out.

Undertaker chokeslammed him a few weeks ago, which is why Batista promised that payback is a b****. As far as Batista is concerned, they are even as they go into Wrestlemania. If it gets ugly, it gets ugly, but no one is disrespecting him. No matter what happens, Batista is leaving Wrestlemania as World Champion. Batista stayed to the point here and it worked.

We get a look at Rey Mysterio’s career, starting with his history with Eddie Guerrero.

Maryse, laid next to a fire, welcomes us back to the show.

Matt Hardy/Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Joey Mercury/Deuce and Domino

Ashley and Cherry are here too. Mercury drives Hardy into the corner and hammers away as JBL berates Cole for losing his voice at the pay per view. Hardy fights back and backdrops Mercury over the top onto Deuce and Domino, meaning London and Kendrick can start the double teaming. Domino finally offers a trip off the top though and it’s Deuce taking over with some knees to the ribs.

The chinlock goes on and it’s back to Domino to kick away. A double release gordbuster gets two with London making the save as we take a break. Back with Joey working on a waistlock but having to pull Kendrick down by the hair to cut off the comeback. Not that it matters as Kendrick gets over for the tag off to Hardy. House is cleaned for a bit as everything breaks down, including Hardy grabbing the Twist of Fate to finish Mercury.

Rating: C. I learned one thing from this match: I never need to see Hardy vs. Mercury in any form again. They aren’t interesting and they have been done to death at this point, so find something new for both of them to do already. London and Kendrick vs. Deuce and Domino isn’t there yet, but they should probably switch the titles already if they’re going to.

Vickie Guerrero has everything taken care of, though details are scarce.

We look at Edge qualifying for Money in the Bank.

Rey Mysterio won the 2006 Royal Rumble.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Non-title. Chavo knocks him into the ropes to start but gets caught with a hiptoss. A dropkick puts Chavo down again and Scotty hammers away in the corner. That earns him a dump over the top for a crash to the floor, meaning Scotty has to beat the count back in. Chavo cranks on both arms at the same time until Scotty fights up for a small package.

That earns him a big boot and we hit the abdominal stretch to keep Chavo in control. Scott fights out again and makes the clothesline comeback, though he does throw in a backdrop for a bonus. Chavo gets in Two Amigos but Scotty escapes the third, setting up the Worm. That’s enough to send Chavo outside so Scotty hits a running flip dive off the apron. Back in and Chavo grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the cheating pin.

Rating: C. These two had a nice little match here as you wouldn’t have expected these two to get much time. Chavo is someone who has long since been established as a big name in the division so he isn’t going to lose much by being in trouble against Scotty for a bit. Good enough here as Chavo gets to brag about a win and Scotty gets to do his biggest stuff.

Raw Rebound.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Kane vs. King Booker

Falls Count Anywhere and Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Kane gets pounded down into the corner to start but comes right back with his assortment of uppercuts. They head outside with Kane dropping him onto the barricade for two and they’re back inside in a hurry. Booker hammers away in the corner again so Kane hits him in the face. Kane adds a knee to the ribs and falls down by mistake, allowing Booker to get in a shot of his own.

It’s time to go back outside with Kane being sent face first into various things. Back in and Kane ducks a bell shot to the face, meaning it’s another trip to the floor so Booker can get sent into hard objects. Booker DDTs him on the stage for two but Kane is fine enough to beat him back to ringside. Sharmell’s distraction allows Booker to get in a bell shot to send us to a break, because a bell shot isn’t the end of the match.

Back with Booker working on the arm and getting two off the hook kick to the face. Kane gets tossed outside, where he grabs a chair to smash Booker in the head for two. Back in again and Kane hits some running clotheslines in the corner, setting up the side slam for two more. Booker sends him outside but dives into the chokeslam….and here is Great Khali to beat Kane down. Khali sends him through the barricade and leaves, allowing Booker to steal the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure who thought this needed nearly eighteen minutes but it set up Kane vs. Khali and gives Booker something to do at Wrestlemania. It felt like they didn’t know how to fill that much time as you can only go to the floor to brawl so many times and they went way over the quota here. It wasn’t bad, but it was long and overstayed its welcome.

Post break, Khali comes up to Booker for a handshake. Khali leaves so celebrating can ensue.

We look at Ashley’s Playboy cover reveal.

Rey Mysterio forced JBL to retain.

Finlay/Leprechaun vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

No Way Out rematch and there is no Leprechaun to start. He does pop up from under the ring skirt in fear and we take a break. We come back joined in progress with Finlay working on the arm….and then stomping on the worms. Cole freaks out over said worms as Little Boogeyman hits Finlay low.

Now the Leprechaun comes in for the brawl until Boogeyman and Finlay come in to take out the counterparts. Finlay hits Boogeyman with the Shillelagh and the Leprechaun hits a jumping DDT for the pin. This was nuts in a good way, with JBL freaking out over Cole cheering for Rey to beat him in the clip before the match making it even better.

Maryse, with champagne and in very limited clothing, welcomes us back to the show.

We look back at Batista’s opening speech.

Next week: Undertaker responds.

Here is Rey Mysterio, on a cane due to knee surgery, to the big hometown reception. It takes him the better part of a minute and a half to get in the ring and the wincing is strong. Rey talks about how great it is to be back in the ring, but it is even better to be back in his hometown. His rehab is ahead of schedule….and here is Vince McMahon to interrupt, with security following to surround the ring. Vince talks about how big of a star he is and brags about Wrestlemania, even though Rey can’t be there.

We hear about the Battle of the Billionaires with Vince promising to humiliate Donald Trump and shave him bald. Vince can’t wait to make Trump squeal (that’s good for a shiver) and pull his hair out by the roots. We should get Rey’s opinion on this, so Vince drops to a knee to ask Rey, who thinks Vince is a loser.

That’s fine with Vince, who brings out Umaga to meet Rey. Cole and JBL don’t seem to get what is happening here as Vince asks if Rey wants to change his pick. Then Vince hits Rey low and the beating is on, including a splash to the bad leg. Rey gets stretchered out to end the show. The hometown curse strikes again and it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. At least we got to hear about Trump on Smackdown this time for a change of pace.

Overall Rating: C-. This was one of those shows where they kind of slowed the pace down and got us ready for next week when Undertaker will be back to get us to the next big thing. Outside of Batista vs. Undertaker, we don’t have much going on in the way of Smackdown exclusives. Maybe that can be fixed up, but I’m not sure what exactly could be added. Smackdown isn’t exactly heavy in feuds, but they still have a long time to go before Wrestlemania to figure something out.

 

Smackdown
Date: February 9, 2007
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are less than two weeks away from No Way Out and that means it is time to try and make that show mean something. The main event will be a battle of the Wrestlemania main events, which means we get to see the big angle to set up at least one of the Wrestlemania title matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and ultimately choosing to face Batista. I know they’re talking about this a lot but it’s kind of a special situation.

Undertaker vs. Miz

That’s a big way to start. Undertaker grabs the arm to start and hits a quick Old School. Miz bails to the floor and the chase is on, with Miz getting in some forearms on the way back inside. That earns him a running big boot and a beating in the corner, followed by the chokeslam. The Tombstone finishes Miz in a hury.

Rating: D+. Total and complete squash here as Miz only got in a few forearms. That’s all it should have been too as Miz is the kind of guy who can get back to whatever level he needs to be at with a few promos. Undertaker is primed up for a Wrestlemania World Title match and it makes sense to show that he is on a roll heading into the show. Not much of a match, but it did what it was supposed to.

Post match, Undertaker gives him the Last Ride through the announcers’ table. That should prove the point.

Rey Mysterio is back in two weeks.

Deuce and Domino vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title again and Cherry is here with Deuce and Domino. Kendrick gets knocked into the corner to start and it’s time to forearm him in the back for an early two. We hit a slightly less early chinlock before Domino knees him in the face for two. Deuce comes in and knocks London off the apron, setting up a chinlock of his own.

A jumping kick to the face gets two on Kendrick as this is totally one sided so far. Kendrick kicks him away and brings in London to pick up the pace a bit. Everything breaks down and Kendrick misses a slingshot dive tot he floor. That leaves London to get slammed off the top, setting up a cutter/top rope ax handle combination (that’s a new one) to pin London.

Rating: C-. London and Kendrick have been champions for a long time now and it is time to move on to someone else. Sometimes you need to bring in another team and have them beat everyone, which is what we’re seeing here. This was another nearly one sided match and again, that is what it needed to be.

Maryse, with champagne, welcomes us back from a break.

Commentary talks about Kane vs. King Booker, including a clip of Kane and Booker fighting at the Royal Rumble. Now last week makes a lot more sense.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell want Kane suspended after last week. Long gives him a match at No Way Out instead, which has the two of them hopping mad minus the hopping.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Yes again. Matt knocks him into the corner to start as we hear about a tag team ladder match for the titles at No Way Out, because we haven’t had one of those in a long time. It’s time to go after Mercury’s busted face and we take a break. Back with Matt doing more of the same until he is knocked into the corner. A middle rope faceplant bangs up Matt’s knee and Mercury has a target of his own.

The leg is draped over the rope for a kick to the knee and Mercury starts cranking away. Mercury gets creative by taking the boot off and hits a Robinsdale Crunch on the ankle. Matt catches him on top with a superplex but Mercury is right back on the leg. The bulldog out of the corner gives Matt two more and the middle rope legdrop, with the unbooted foot, gets two. The Side Effect is loaded up but the leg gives out, allowing Matt to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. Normally I would say they’re done, but we already heard that there is going to be another match involving these two at No Way Out. The Armageddon spot with Mercury’s nose exploding was an incredible visual, but it isn’t like it needs to go on forever like this. Matt had to do this with Gregory Helms and now he is having to do it again with Mercury. Come up with something new.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. Kennedy has been hearing about how Wrestlemania is going to be Batista’s World Title against the Undertaker’s Streak. That is a match with a lot of buzz but he is the buzzkill. He has beaten both of them on multiple occasions but now he is being overlooked for Wrestlemania. How dare these people overlook him? How dare Undertaker overlook him?

Undertaker may have chosen to face Batista but after tonight, Kennedy is going to Wrestlemania. Batista is overlooking Kennedy because he has a million dollar body but nothing in his head. Tomorrow, Batista’s bags are going to be a lot lighter…and here is Batista for the fight. Security breaks it up and Kennedy uses the distraction to post Batista. This was Kennedy doing what he did best and he was good here.

Finlay vs. Boogeyman

Fallout from Boogeyman trying to kidnap the Leprechaun last week. The gyrations are on to start with Finlay hitting a headbutt….and hurting his own head in the process. They head outside with Finlay being sent head first into the apron but Finlay takes over back inside. Finlay drops some elbows for two but Boogeyman gyrates up.

That earns him a clothesline to put him right back down but Boogeyman knocks him out of the air. Boogeyman hits a powerslam into a splash, followed by a running elbow in the corner. A big boot drops Finlay but here is the Leprechaun to go after the bag of worms. Boogeyman cuts him off and loads up the worms, allowing Finlay to get in a shillelagh shot to the leg for the pin.

Rating: D. This is a good example of why Boogeyman didn’t need to be in the ring very often. The match was awkward and sloppy as they did not exactly seem to be on the same page. The ending means we are likely in for more of this goofy stuff, but it is pretty much the only ridiculous thing on the show at the moment so it could be a lot worse.

We look back at Undertaker massacring Miz earlier.

Gregory Helms vs. Daivari

Non-title and Daivari’s return to Smackdown after a pretty long absence. Helms starts fast and sends him outside as JBL compares Helms to Evander Holyfield. This takes us into a rant about how there are no cruiserweights in boxing, ignoring that Holyfield himself was the undisputed Cruiserweight Champion. Back in and Daivari hammers Helms in the back and we hit the chinlock with a knee between the shoulders.

Helms fights up and is promptly backbreakered down. Daivari misses a guillotine legdrop though and they’re both down for a bit. Helms hits a clothesline and hammers away as JBL points out how quiet the fans are. Another backbreaker gives Helms two but the Nightmare on Helm Street is broken up. A rollup with a grab of the rope gives Daivari the pin.

Rating: C. Just get the title off of Helms already. Much like London and Kendrick, there is nothing left to be done with the title reign, but in this case, there is very little to care about with Helms in the first place. He has held the title so long and barely ever done anything with it, which should tell you almost everything you need to know about the title.

Maryse, from a bed, tells us to keep watching.

Wrestlemania Recall: Pete Rose meets Kane.

Kristal is in Teddy Long’s office and asks how she looks. After taking off a bit of clothing, she asks again (edited off of Peacock), but here is Jillian Hall to interrupt. She wants to sing on American Idol, but Long has a better idea. At No Way Out, we can have a Diva Talent Invitational featuring women from all of the shows. Oh dear.

No Way Out rundown.

Smackdown World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Batista is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Kennedy gets shoved down to start and it’s time to hide in the ropes. A hard whip into the corner puts Kennedy down again and Batista seems rather calm. This time it’s Kennedy taking over in the corner but Batista isn’t having any of that and slams him down again. Batista takes him back into the corner and hammers away, including the shoulders to the ribs. Kennedy takes him down by the arm though and we take a break.

Back with Kennedy stomping away and they head outside with Batista being sent into the steps. Kennedy takes too long going up top though and gets caught (as heels do), only to snap Batista’s arm across the top. The Kenton Bomb connects for two and we hit the armbar again.

That’s broken up and a collision puts Kennedy on the floor, where a belt shot knocks Batista silly for two. Batista is fine enough to hit more shoulders in the corner, followed by the spinebuster. That’s good for a very delayed two so Batista hits a running clothesline into a powerslam. There’s another spinebuster and now the Batista Bomb connects to retain the title.

Rating: C+. There was absolutely no drama here but at some point you have to give Kennedy his one on one title shot to get it out of the way. Kennedy has been fluttering around the World Title scene for a long time now and this clears the path to Wrestlemania. Let them do their thing here so the real stuff can take place at Wrestlemania, as it should.

Post match here is Undertaker for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was the housekeeping show more than anything else as they had a few things to take care of before we could move on to No Way Out and then Wrestlemania. The two champions losing didn’t help things but it should set up some stuff for No Way Out, which needed the help. Unfortunately there wasn’t much on this show other than a bunch of rematches, but hopefully things can pick up in the next few weeks.
 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: January 19, 2007
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to put the finishing touches on the card. This year’s show has taken things in a slightly different direction by just having the majority of the field announced without much in the way of talking about it on screen. Other than that, Batista is getting ready to defend against Mr. Kennedy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat after becoming #1 contender last week. There were sixteen men trying to beat the clock but Kennedy was the only person who could pull it off. He beat Chris Benoit in five minutes and Miz of all people lasted that long against the Undertaker. People accuse him of cheating but who wouldn’t have done what he did?

After beating six World Champions, it is time for him to win the title, but here is Teddy Long to interrupt. Long congratulates Kennedy for his win last week, but tonight is a little different. Tonight, Kennedy is going one on one with the Undertaker, and if Undertaker wins, we’ll make the Royal Rumble a triple threat match.

Maryse welcomes us back.

We look at Matt Hardy accidentally blowing up Joey Mercury’s face at Armageddon, followed by Mercury jumping Hardy for some revenge.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Mercury starts fast with a cheap shot so Hardy goes for the bad face, sending Mercury running into the corner. Hardy is patient enough to hit a clothesline but it’s too early for the Side Effect (you never go with the signature that soon). They head outside with Mercury sending him into the steps to take over, followed by some choking in the corner. A snapmare sets up a chinlock but Hardy is right back out with a jawbreaker. Now the Side Effect connects and the middle rope elbow to the head connects. The Twist of Fate is countered into a tiger driver which is countered into a rollup to give Hardy the fast pin.

Rating: C. These two worked well together and there is a personal story to give them a reason to fight. This is a good example of taking something that happened and letting them fight each other because it makes sense. That is the kind of thing you don’t see enough of these days and it worked just fine here.

Post match here’s Johnny Nitro to jump Hardy, setting up a Snapshot on exposed concrete. That’s what you call escalating quickly.

Post break, here’s exactly what we saw before the break.

Miz is bragging to Layla and Ashley about what he did to Undertaker and knows he could have won with more time. Kane pops up and running ensues.

Kristal tries asks Vickie Guerrero about the feud between Chavo Guerrero and Chris Benoit but Vickie wants to talk alone in the locker room. Ok then.

Video on Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit.

MVP/Dave Taylor/William Regal vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Vito

This could be different. Ashley is here with the latter and MVP is still taped up. It’s a big brawl to start until we settle down to London monkey flipping Regal. Vito comes in but gets kicked in the ribs, allowing MVP to come in and send him into the buckle. Back up and Vito is fine enough to hit a slam onto the banged up back but Taylor comes in to hammer away.

Regal and MVP take turns on Vito until he manages a rollup for two on Regal. Choking puts Vito back down in the corner as JBL refers to Vito as “her”. MVP has to cut off a hot tag attempt but a jawbreaker allows the hot tag off to Kendrick to clean house. Everything breaks down and London dives onto Taylor. Kendrick loads up Sliced Bread on Regal but MVP catches him in an Emerald Flosion for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match I can go for most of the time: take some people and put them into a combination you don’t see too often, as it will give you something fresh for a change. You don’t get to see MVP vs. London or Kendrick very often so mixing it up a bit can do some good. Nice little match too, with talented people doing their thing.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit is defending and this is No DQ. Chavo starts smart by kicking Benoit low and snapping off a Saito suplex. With Benoit down, Guerrero unhooks the top and middle buckle pad but gets dropped onto the top rope for taking too long. Benoit tries the Crossface but Chavo rolls outside, only to get Crossfaced out there anyway. That’s broken up and Chavo’s chair shot hits the post.

Back in and the Crossface goes on again with Chavo having to roll out again. Another chair shot is cut off by a backdrop but Chavo whips him chest first into the exposed buckle for two. Now the chair shots can connect, including Chavo driving the chair into Benoit’s neck. A flying armbar onto the open chair gets two but Benoit is right back up to send him outside.

Benoit hits a dropkick through the ropes and sends Chavo hard into the barricade. Chavo staggers over to the timekeeper and nails Benoit with the belt though and it’s time for Three Amigos, including suplexes onto the belt and the chair. The frog splash only hits chair though and Benoit gets two. Now it’s Benoit suplexing Chavo onto the belt but he misses the Swan Dive, banging up his shoulder again in the process. Chavo grabs the chair but gets pulled into the Sharpshooter for the tap to retain the title.

Rating: B-. The matches have been pretty good but it is time to wrap this one up. Chavo has now lost to Benoit several times now and Benoit needs a fresh challenger. They did something with the stipulation here so it did make sense in the situation. Hopefully we get to see something new for both of them now, as their rather nice feud should be over.

Batista is excited for the main event and is going to be ringside.

Mr. Kennedy complains about the main event so Jillian Hall suggests that she go talk to Long.

Deuce And Domino vs. ???/???

So now we get a new team in the form of Deuce And Domino, a pair of greasers who come out in an old car with a woman named Cherry, who blows bubblegum and wears roller skates. You know, for all of those people in 2007 who were nostalgic for the 1970s version of the 50s.

Before the match, the team introduces themselves, thankfully not talking like Fonzie to match the looks. Domino mentions that Cherry is his sister and Cole mentions that she is dating Deuce. The other team gets jumped before the bell with Deuce kicking away. A running kick to the seated head finishes for Deuce in a hurry. Total squash but it’s kind of hard to get your head around the gimmick, which I think I like.

Mr. Kennedy yells at Teddy Long, who just recaps the idea of the main event. I’m assuming they just needed to fill in a minute with anything here.

Maryse welcomes us back.

Kane vs. Miz

Kane unloads with shots to the face to start but the big boot misses. That doesn’t really matter as Kane is right back with a backbreaker, followed by some knees to the back in the corner. The logical bearhug goes on but Miz fights his way out and goes up, only to dive into a boot to the face. The chokeslam is good for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s all it needed to be. There is no reason to believe that Miz is going to be a threat to Kane and it isn’t going to hut him to take a loss here. They didn’t do anything beyond what they should have done here and it was an effective use of about four minutes. Kane can move on to the Rumble and Miz can annoy someone else, as he should.

King Booker interrupts Krystal talking to Teddy Long. He isn’t happy about not getting a title shot but he’ll win the Royal Rumble and get it back at Wrestlemania. Long is fine with that, and puts Booker in a six man Over The Top challenge next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Batista is on commentary and if Undertaker wins, the Royal Rumble match is a triple threat. Undertaker suplexes his way out of a headlock to start and sends Kennedy head first into the buckle. Old School connects early and Undertaker is annoyed by a kickout. Kennedy avoids a charge and hammers away but gets sent outside. A bit of pummeling ensues and we take a break.

Back with Undertaker hitting a headbutt but Kennedy fights his way out of a superplex attempt. Undertaker sits up though and it’s time to stalk Kennedy on the floor. Back in again and Kennedy gets smart by dropkicking the knee. Kennedy cranks on the leg but Undertaker uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom. They head outside again with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps.

The knees are fine enough to send Kennedy back first into the post and there’s the apron legdrop for two. The Last Ride is broken up and Kennedy goes right back to the knee. Undertaker’s knee is fine enough to hit Snake Eyes into the big boot to knock Kennedy outside, where he shoves Batista. Back in and the chokeslam is loaded up….but Batista charges in to spear Kennedy for the DQ because Kennedy is smart.

Rating: C. The match was just kind of there but the ending was really smart with Kennedy understanding that he can’t beat Undertaker on his own but he can avoid him being in the title match. That’s the kind of thinking you don’t see often enough and it worked really well here. Good, smart ending as we’re not ready for Undertaker vs. Batista just yet.

Undertaker glares down at Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Given that the show had very little to do with changing up the Royal Rumble, this was still pretty good with the smart ending and Deuce And Domino debuting. Other than that, we had a show that was mainly a placeholder as we move towards the pay per view. Enough stuff happened here and that is often enough to make a show work out.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 19, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Things should be a bit more back to normal this week as Wrestlemania season is over. That is probably a good thing after last week’s show was not exactly worth bragging about. This time around we have Asuka vs. Charlotte in a match that has been done quite a few times before so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Drew McIntyre to get things going. We get a recap of him winning a triple threat match last week to become #1 contender to WWE Champion Bobby Lashley. After the win, he was attacked by Mace and T-Bar, with MVP looking on in approval. With the recap of last week out of the way, McIntyre recaps last week. McIntyre gets to Mace and T-Bar, but he doesn’t believe that they are the masterminds here. That would be MVP, which has McIntyre wondering if Mace and T-Bar are going to start wearing those nice suits.

Cue MVP, who implies he didn’t know anything about it, causing Drew to mock him for suggesting he didn’t know anything about it. MVP says Lashley is expecting McIntyre to be a worthy challenger at Wrestlemania Backlash. As for Mace and T-Bar, Lashley recently decided to downsize the Hurt Business, so why would he need those two after he already beat McIntyre at Wrestlemania? Mace and T-Bar have ZERO affiliation with the Hurt Business. McIntyre doesn’t seem to buy it but here are Mace and T-Bar to jump him again. The double sitout chokeslam drops McIntyre and the two walk past MVP, who doesn’t really respond.

In the back, Mace and T-Bar talk about….snakes and saber tooth tigers? Sabre tooth tigers are extinct, just like McIntyre will be when they are done with him.

Post break, McIntyre demands Adam Pearce give him Mace and T-Bar tonight. Pearce says get a partner but Drew is going to fight no matter what.

Viking Raiders vs. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin drives Erik into the corner to start and then wrestles him down to the mat without much effort. Alexander comes in for a running dropkick for no count as Erik powers him off in a hurry. Erik gets taken into the corner again and Shelton drops him with a clothesline. One heck of a shot to the face drops Alexander and it’s Ivar coming in to miss the seated crossbody.

Ivar gets taken into the corner and tosses his way right back out. A quick roll over to the corner allows the tag back to Erik, who is taken down with a snappy tornado DDT from Alexander. Everything breaks down, after a Cannonball against the barricade to Benjamin, the Viking Experience (or Viking Express according to Virk, again) hits Alexander for the pin at 5:16.

Rating: C-. The less than dominant performance from the Raiders made sense here as they have only had one match in about seven months. They shouldn’t be able to run over a team who were recently the Tag Team Champions….even though they did last week. So in other words, they did the last two weeks backwards and it already seems like they are running low on teams for the Raiders to beat up.

Randy Orton talks about how the Fiend is gone for good….and here’s Riddle on his scooter. He talks about how neither of them have a title any longer so they can team up and have matching scooters. Orton walks away, as everyone tends to do with Riddle, who is rapidly losing his charm in these segments.

Post break, Orton asks Adam Pearce if he can face Riddle tonight. Pearce will see what he can do. Given how little of Raw tends to be planned out, I don’t think it should take long to get to a decision.

We recap Charlotte returning last week, promising to be totally and completely different this time, then interrupting Rhea Ripley defending the Women’s Title against Asuka last week.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She is tired of the lack of respect from the women’s locker room. Wrestlemania was taken away from her and that just wasn’t fair. She can beat Asuka and Rhea Ripley on the same night, so tonight Asuka is getting taken out as Ripley sees what Charlotte can do.

Cue Asuka and Ripley, with the latter being willing to take Charlotte up on her offer, even though Asuka is beating her tonight. Asuka goes to say something but Charlotte cuts her off and condescendingly reminds her of the Wrestlemania match. Asuka promises to beat her tonight, “b****”. I would pay a good bit of money to come up with any new way to present Charlotte other than the “I’m better than all of you” heel.

Riddle scooters past Randy Orton on the way to the ring.

Randy Orton vs. Riddle

Orton grabs a headlock takeover to start but Riddle flips over into a choke on Orton’s back. What looks like a tap is written off as a slap at Riddle’s head and Riddle keeps the choke on. Orton finally drops back for the break but Riddle pops back up to slap it on again. They roll out to the apron and this time Orton sweeps the leg out to send him crashing outside.

We take a break and come back with Orton hitting the circle stomp. The snap powerslam gives Orton two and a belly to back suplex drops Riddle again. Orton seems to be favoring his shoulder and Riddle strikes away, only to get poked in the eye. Riddle comes back with chops out of the corner so Orton whips him hard into another corner to take him down. The chinlock goes on, with Orton shouting at Riddle in the process. Riddle fights up and avoids a charge to send Orton shoulder first into the post.

The fired up Riddle kicks him down and there’s the Broton for two. Orton catches him on top and that means the superplex (and a nice one at that). Back up and Riddle gets sent to the apron but catches Orton in a triangle choke. That doesn’t last long due to Riddle hanging upside down, allowing Orton hitting the hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Riddle reverses into a crucifix for the pin at 13:33.

Rating: B-. It’s nice to see Riddle getting his momentum back and it isn’t like Orton losing is going to mean a single thing to him. Riddle can do some very good things in the ring and he was getting to showcase that here. Just keep him away from so many of the backstage appearances and we could be seeing something pretty awesome from him.

Sheamus comes in to see Adam Pearce, who talks about the history of the US Title. We hear about John Cena’s US Open Challenge and it seems that we will be seeing it again tonight.

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Lana/Naomi

Non-title. Naomi staggers Nia to start and brings Lana in for a headscissors into a failed Russian legsweep attempt. Lana takes Nia down with a chop block and kicks her in the head for a bonus. It’s off to Baszler to pull Lana to the mat without much effort and there’s the stomp to the arm. Cue Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke to show us a clip of Nia and Shayna laughing at Mandy slipping at Wrestlemania (now off the WWE Network, because reasons), as the match just completely stops for this flashback.

Now we look at Mandy and Brooke attacking Jax, followed by the match later in the night with Jax slipping off the apron. Mandy and Dana ran off to lose the match, but it was funny you see. We come back to the match (yeah that thing that was going on) where Shayna is armbarring Lana. Nia storms to the back and a double X Factor finishes Baszler at 4:17.

Rating: F. Not only did the finish look bad because Lana can’t manage to jump into the air properly, but about half of this match was spent in a flashback to an angle built around someone falling on the ramp in a stadium that had just been soaked by a bad rainstorm. How this is the best thing they can think of at the moment is beyond me, but such is life in WWE for you these days.

Nia is STUNNED that this happened.

We look at Bad Bunny’s Wrestlemania performance.

Bad Bunny, with Damian Priest, talks about how awesome it was. It meant a lot and he was very impressed with Priest. Speaking of Priest, he was impressed by Bunny and we hear about how much respect Bunny received from everyone.

Bunny’s tour is sold out.

Here’s are Miz and Maryse for MizTV, with Miz fawning over his wife. Miz talks about Wrestlemania and last week before taking credit for Bunny’s tour being sold out. The two talk about how much they love each other and this is their big celebration. The pyro seems to shake Maryse as they kiss and it’s time for a champagne toast. Miz hypes up his WWE 24 special on Sunday but here is Damian Priest to interrupt.

We look at Miz being stripped to his underwear, which is totally different than his trunks. Maryse helped Miz cheat to win last week so Priest says a man shouldn’t be happy with that kind of a win. Priest accuses him of not having much to show in his underwear so the challenge is on. Maryse accepts, though Miz isn’t exactly pleased. That’s what Priest wanted so he has some champagne, which he calls trash.

Riddle comes up to New Day in the back and suggests some changes to their gear. The solution: SILVER DOLLAR PANCAKES! Riddle leaves and Kofi Kingston asks if Xavier Woods understood anything Riddle just said.

Here are Elias and Jaxson Ryker but the performance is interrupted again, this time by Xavier Woods on bass.

Kofi Kingston vs. Elias

Kofi starts fast with a rollup for two but gets knocked down. Elias gets distracted by Woods playing Steve Austin’s theme and Kofi hits a Thesz press (which looked to be a mistimed version of his standard double stomp) for some right hands. A delayed vertical suplex gets Elias out of trouble and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. Kofi gets in a shot to the face but gets knocked off the top again. Elias’ clothesline is countered into a rather sloppy SOS for two. This time Elias goes up but gets caught as well, only to block Kofi’s super hurricanrana. The top rope elbow finishes Kingston at 4:42.

Rating: D+. This was a rather messy match but at least it gave Elias one of the biggest wins of his career. Yes his character is pretty stale and he has been doing the same thing for years now, but at least they are giving him a little something to do. Maybe this goes a little somewhere, and right now it isn’t like they have all that many fresh ideas anyway.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground, with Alexa Bliss explaining that Lily has been around for a very long time. We see some photos of Lily around her as a baby (WWE loves itself some doctored photos) and Bliss talks about shoving a kid at the playground so she could eat her ice cream (even if she didn’t like strawberry). When asked, she said Lily made her do it. Lily will let you know if she doesn’t like something so Bliss warns the entire roster. Lily tries to eat the camera again. Oh yeah they’re running with this.

We look back at the women’s tag team from earlier tonight, because OH YEAH THEY’RE RUNNING WITH THIS TOO!

Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke say that they are not the bullies. Yes Mandy slipped at Wrestlemania but it was Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler who kept watching it. Jax and Baszler come in to chase them off but Baszler yells at Jax for costing them the match. Baszler tells her to get better or else. Jax: “Or else what?” Angel Garza of all people comes in to have Jax’s back. So yes, they are still arguing almost eight months after winning the titles in the first place. Also, I would hope that Garza is not being swapped in for Reginald. He’s too good for that.

Drew McIntyre vs. Mace/T-Bar

No partner for McIntyre, who charges at T-Bar and hammers away to start. A kick to the face sets up a battle over a suplex with McIntyre pulling it off for two. MVP is watching in the back as Mace comes in to unload on McIntyre in the corner. Some running knees put McIntyre down and we hit the chinlock….and go to a wide shot to show off the Thunderdome for some reason (ala Vince McMahon in the mid 90s pay per views). Mace suplexes him for two but McIntyre hits T-Bar with a spinebuster for two. The Glasgow Kiss slows T-Bar down but Mace’s distraction lets the double teaming begin, which is good for a DQ at 5:57.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but at least Mace and T-Bar didn’t get pinned right out of the box. It isn’t a win, but they lost because they were beating McIntyre up instead of a result of the opposite. I’m still curious about where this goes, though I have next to no confidence in it going anywhere positive for them in the long term.

Immediately after the bell, here’s Braun Strowman to clear off not Retribution. Load up the tag match.

Braun Strowman/Drew McIntyre vs. T-Bar/Mace

Yeah you knew it was coming as soon as the music hit. Strowman powers out of a headlock to start and then runs Mace over with a shoulder. Drew certainly likes that and Braun forearms Mace down. T-Bar comes in and is pounded down into the corner as well. A Mace distraction lets T-Bar get in a chop block though and we hit the reverse chinlock.

T-Bar knees him in the back and grabs another chinlock but Strowman backdrops his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in McIntyre to pick up the pace, including an overhead belly to belly to Mace. There’s a jumping neckbreaker into McIntyre’s nip up….and there goes Mace’s mask. Commentary doesn’t seem to recognize him as a former member of their family, even as McIntyre hits him with the mask for the DQ at 5:24.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match here but losing the mask might get rid of a little bit of the Retribution stigma. Again, this is better than the team getting pinned, though it still isn’t exactly the best way to make them seem like big stars either. They went with another tag formula match here and that was fine, though it would be nice to see Mace and T-Bar pin someone. Like, ever.

Post match Strowman rips off T-Bar’s mask and knocks him outside as well. The start of non Retribution’s theme sounds like Neville’s NXT music.

Miz vs. Damian Priest

Miz has Maryse with him and goes outside to kiss her to start. Priest pulls Miz back in for a slam and elbows Miz down, but Maryse offers a distraction. That lets Miz hit a big boot and then a running dropkick puts Priest on the floor. Priest is whipped into various things before a neckbreaker gets two back inside.

The YES Kicks fire Priest up though and he blocks a kick with an elbow to the leg. Priest’s running elbow connects in the corner but Miz slips out of the Broken Arrow. Instead, Priest hits a springboard flip dive to take Miz down again. Maryse’s next distraction lets Miz grab a rollup (just like last week) for two, only for Priest to come back with Hit The Lights for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: C-. What matters here is Priest won, but I’m still trying to get my head around the idea of Miz pinning him last week. I’m assuming it was to promote the reality show, but if you can have Priest get the win back the next week, was there really no one else to take the fall? Priest has some major potential and I would love to see WWE realize some of it.

Asuka is warming up in the back and we go to a break in the middle of Virk’s hype for the main event.

Here is Sheamus for the Open Challenge for a US Title shot and we have a challenger.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Sheamus is defending….in theory at least, as he jumps Carrillo before the bell and throws him outside. Graves thinks Sheamus might be mad about the new European Super League as he whips Carrillo into the barricade and forearms him in the chest. Back in and the Brogue Kick drops Carrillo so Sheamus can say Carrillo isn’t in his league. No match.

Asuka vs. Charlotte

Rhea Ripley comes out to watch as Charlotte grabs a headlock. They fall out to the floor in a heap though and it’s off to an early break. Back with Charlotte hammering away but Asuka scores with a knee to the face. A Shining Wizard (leg kick according to Virk, as the completely understandable learning curve continues) drops Charlotte but what looked like a Codebreaker completely misses. Thankfully commentary doesn’t try to hide it as they slug it out from their knees.

Charlotte is up with a spear for two and then heads to the apron. Asuka’s kick to the ribs is blocked and Charlotte wrenches on the knee as long as she can. Back in and the Asuka Lock sends Charlotte to the ropes so she takes Asuka’s bad leg out again. The Figure Eight goes on but Ripley breaks it up, meaning the fight is on. Asuka kicks Charlotte in the arm and crucifixes her for the pin at 9:16, though Charlotte’s shoulder was a bit off the mat.

Rating: C+. I know Charlotte loses here and it seems to set up Asuka vs. Ripley II, but come on. You know Charlotte is getting in that title match because that is what Charlotte does almost every single time. It’s going to happen no matter what and it wouldn’t shock me to see her win the title again. I would certainly hope not, but it isn’t like it would be unprecedented.

Post match Charlotte yells at the referee and beats him down, even continuing as other referees come out to yell at her.

Overall Rating: D+. I went back and forth on the overall rating as this was a huge upgrade from last week but they are doubling down on so many of the repetitive/dull/stupid ideas. Riddle is still getting way too much time, Mace and T-Bar didn’t exactly look dominant, we’re still living in Charlotte’s world, and Mandy Rose slipping is one of the bigger stories on the show. You would have almost no idea that Wrestlemania was eight days ago and that shouldn’t be the feeling. The show wasn’t the worst and was a big improvement over last week, but it still wasn’t exactly good. Better, but they still need to fix a lot of problems.

Results

Viking Experience b. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin – Viking Experience to Alexander

Riddle b. Randy Orton – Crucifix

Lana/Naomi b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Double X Factor to Baszler

Elias b. Kofi Kingston – Top rope elbow

Drew McIntyre b. Mace/T-Bar via DQ when Mace and T-Bar double teamed McIntyre

Mace/T-Bar b. Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman via DQ when McIntyre hit Mace with the mask

Damian Priest b. The Miz – Hit The Lights

Asuka b. Charlotte – Crucifix

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

This hasn’t been quite a year yet but I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long night. Like a few years before, I was in the stadium for this show but haven’t seen it since I reviewed it last year. This is a show that was well received at the time and it could be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Let’s get to it.

The set is one of the most intricate they’ve ever done, with a big Wrestlemania globe (ala Universal Studios) and a roller coaster next to it (I think you get this). There’s also an inflatable ring atop the structure above the regular ring, which I somehow didn’t notice until about an hour and a half of being in the stadium). The theme was the Ultimate Thrill Ride and the visual certainly works. It’s really cool looking and worked very well. Unfortunately the stadium isn’t the best looking in the world and it made the whole thing feel a bit out of place. Oh and the CRAZY LONG RAMP, which is something like seventy yards long.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

Aries is challenging after Neville has dominated the division for months and needs someone fresh to challenge him. The fans are behind Aries, which isn’t that surprising though Neville was nothing short (ok he was always short) of awesome at this point. Aries takes him down with an armbar but Neville is right back out with a headscissors. Back up and Neville has to bail to the floor so Aries has a rest on the top rope. I know it’s a Shawn Michaels spot but Aries sells the heck out of it.

Neville comes back in and eats a basement dropkick, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back for two. The suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head though as the back and forth continues. A missile dropkick gives Neville two and we take a break. Back with Neville holding a chinlock (They even do it on the Kickoff Shows!) but taking WAY too long to glare at the crowd before trying a middle rope Phoenix splash (makes sense given his King thing).

One heck of a backdrop puts Neville on the floor and Aries is right back after him with the suicide dive. You can hear the fans getting back into this and that’s a good result from these two. The main reason to put something like this on is to get the fans fired up for the real show and it’s a great place to put them in.

They come back in with Aries blocking the superplex and nailing his own missile dropkick (looked awesome too) for a near fall. A snap German suplex plants Aries though and Neville takes over again. Another suplex gets another two and Neville is starting to look annoyed. With the technical stuff not working, Neville just kicks him in the face in the corner.

Aries is fine enough to reverse the Rings of Saturn attempt into a rollup and now the Discus knocks Neville hard to the floor. Back in and Aries hits a top hurricanrana and the 450 (with a really annoying crowd reaction shot) gets two. The Last Chancery goes on but Neville rips at the eye (which was recently reconstructed) to break the hold. Aries is writhing in pain and it’s the Red Arrow to retain the title at 15:40.

Rating: B. I remember hearing that this would be on the Kickoff Show and being very relieved as I didn’t think the main show would allow it nearly the amount of time that it needed and deserved. I’m glad to see that I was right here as they had a heck of a chess match here with both guys getting in everything they could and showing how back and forth the whole thing was. Neville cheating to win in the end fit him well, as he finally had someone who could match him and had to take a shortcut. Really good stuff here as Neville continues his unbelievable roll.

If the pay per view started here, it would have been a perfect Kickoff Show. But nah, we need two more matches.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Rob Gronkowski, a friend of Mojo Rawley, is in the front row. Big Show’s music plays everyone but Braun Strowman to the ring. Braun tosses Primo two seconds into the match as the ring needs some serious cleaning out. Kalisto and Simon Gotch are tossed as well and Strowman eliminates Slater. Jimmy Uso and Goldust follow them out as they’re not wasting time here.

There goes Konnor but it’s time for the Show vs. Strowman showdown. Everyone stops to watch but Sami jumps Braun due to reasons of general stupidity. That goes nowhere so it’s Strowman dumping Show. Everyone goes after Strowman but he gets rid of Viktor in the process. Strowman is eliminated, making him look like a loser/afterthought in the process (oh….just wait). Hawkins is out and Ziggler gets to do his usual false hope spot. We get into the required “everyone hits everyone but doesn’t really try to win” portion as things slow down.

Ziggler low bridges Truth out as I manage to remember that Truth is employed. There goes Rhyno and Ziggler is thrown over the top, only to hang on again. There goes English, followed by American Alpha dropkicking English out. Jey Uso and Jason Jordan are tossed, followed by Chad Gable as the ring is really thinning out. Tian Bing gets rid of Fandango and Breeze, followed by Henry eliminating Sin Cara (in some sweet Wrestlemania gear). Henry is out next as there’s nothing between these eliminations.

Ziggler superkicks Bing out and that’s about it for Tian’s career accomplishments to date. Sami’s Helluva Kick gets rid of Epico and we’re down to nine. It’s been too long since Ziggler was nearly eliminated so Harper chokes him on the apron this time around. Mojo dumps Bo and Mahal eliminates Crews, followed by Rawley tossing Ziggler. Harper is out next and we’re down to Mojo, Jinder, Titus, Dain and Zayn.

A running clothesline gets rid of Titus but Dain eliminates Sami, completely sucking the life out of the crowd. Why you ask? Well we’re left with Dain, Rawley and Mahal. How excited would you be? Jinder gets clotheslined down and we get a Dain vs. Mojo showdown. A Pounce drops Dain but Jinder pulls Mojo through the ropes and out to the floor. Jinder follows him out and sends Rawley into the barricade, right in front of Gronkowski.

That means a drink going into Gronkowski’s face and here he comes over the barricade. This gives us the funniest part of the show as a security guard runs over to stop him, only to have a ringside guy tap her on the arm as some referees come over and allow Gronkowski to get in. Gronkowski runs Mahal over (your future WWE Champion everyone) and Mojo’s running right hands get rid of Dain. Another running punch to Mahal gives Rawley the win at 14:09.

Rating: D-. And this just LAUNCHED Mojo to the moon right? I know the idea here was to get Gronkowski involved (possibly as a substitute for Shaquille O’Neal) but Sami Zayn was RIGHT THERE to get the big win but nah, let’s go with the nothing guy winning the match. This wasn’t the best result for the battle royal but at least they were trying with Rawley, who took the time to talk to an entire group of fans when I saw him walking through Axxess that same weekend. Hopefully he gets somewhere in the future. The rest of the match was terrible with everyone being thrown out in short order and a bad ending.

Kickoff Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and I have no idea why this was on the Kickoff Show. Corbin crushed Ambrose underneath a forklift to set this up, giving us the hilarious visual of the referees trying to LIFT IT UP despite the key being in the ignition. They waste no time in fighting to the floor with Dean getting the better of it and heading back inside.

That earns him a hard whip to send Ambrose’s ribs into the post and give Corbin a nice big target. Or 24 of them in this case. A choke shove puts Dean down for two and Baron whips him into the barricade for good measure. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dean avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin avoids the top rope elbow and blocks Dirty Deeds for good measure. That earns him a trip to the floor but Baron knocks him out of the air on a slingshot dive.

The top rope elbow puts Corbin down again though and Dean gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. These two aren’t exactly clicking so far. Deep Six gives Corbin two and works on the ribs a bit more. The Rebound Lariat runs Baron over again but he’s right back with a powerbomb to stay on the ribs. That’s about it for Corbin though as Dean jumps up and hits Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but the bigger issue was with the ending, as Baron winning the title would have made the most sense. Making it even worse was the fact that Baron won a street fight non-title rematch two days later but none of that matters as the Superstar Shakeup changed everything a week later. The match was nothing to see either as they didn’t go into the brawl that would have suited them best.

And now on the main show, which is FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LONG. Sweet goodness and they wonder why it’s hard to make new fans.

Tinashe, who looks like a low rent Beyonce (still very attractive though with a great voice) sings America the Beautiful. This includes the Air Force flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet.

The opening video is about how everyone wants to come here, either as a fan or as a wrestler. This is the biggest show of the year and it is the ultimate thrill ride. The video turns into a roller coaster, starting with some historic moments and going into clips of wrestlers on tonight’s show. It’s continuing the theme and that’s a good thing when so many of these shows only have a loose theme at best. Ignore the fans cheering for Miz and AJ Styles and booing the heck out of Roman Reigns of course.

Here are your hosts for the evening: the New Day, in Final Fantasy inspired gear, with Kofi riding in on their bicycle powered ice cream cart. I still have one major question: HOW DID THEY NOT HAVE ICE CREAM FOR SALE??? They teased that for weeks and NOTHING. I was looking forward to it but for some reason it just never happened. After some dancing and gyrating, Xavier says there were a lot of options to host the show. Fans: “WOO!” It was your boys the NEW DAY who got the call though and they get to tell us about all the action that we’ll be seeing tonight.

It’s time to officially pulls their levers (making Kofi and Xavier cringe) and Big E. starts sending the smiling glances over to Woods as he freaks out. This was just after the sex tape fiasco, which was hinted at but never mentioned on WWE TV. In other words, this was a nice little inside joke for the fans while not giving away anything that would be un-PG. Well done and the way this needed to be handled. New Day’s level of rock is confirmed and that’s it, wrapping up this year’s installment of an unnecessary addition to the Wrestlemania card.

We recap AJ Styles babysitting Shane McMahon. AJ lost the Smackdown World Title to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan/Shane put him in the Elimination Chamber instead of giving him a one on one rematch for the title. That’s not cool with AJ, so he beat up Shane to set up this year’s “Shane can totally wrestle if you give him one of the best performers in the world” match. They’ve attacked each other a few times each since with Shane’s punches somehow getting a little worse since last year.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane’s kids are at ringside because what would Wrestlemania be without them? AJ isn’t interested in throwing punches so a quick standing switch sends Shane into the ropes. A headlock and snapmare have Shane down as AJ is toying with him to start. Shane gets in some armdrags and takes Styles down for a rollup, giving us some frustration to send AJ outside.

Back in and AJ punches him in the face as it turns into a boxing match. You know you don’t have to ask Shane to do that twice so we let the suck fly, followed by an elbow to AJ’s face. One heck of a baseball slide sends Shane over the announcers’ table as control goes hard to Styles. Back in and a knee drop rocks Shane again but of course he can shake off the Phenomenal Blitz.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up and Shane starts his dance that was stupid back in the 90s so today it’s awesome (like everything in the Attitude Era). An Angle Slam gets two on AJ but he’s right back with the Calf Crusher. Shane reverses into a rear naked choke, a cross armbreaker and something like the Rings of Saturn. He trains MMA you see. AJ shrugs them off and drops Shane again but the springboard 450 is countered into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a one armed Styles Clash, and of course Shane is up at two.

They slug it out and the fans are entirely behind AJ, even more than you might have expected them to be. I know he’s going to be the favorite coming in but this star treatment of Shane is making it even worse. The ref gets bumped (well duh) and it’s trashcan time. AJ loads up his own Coast to Coast but Shane throws the can at him (with AJ having to pull up on the dive, making it look horrible). Phillips: “AJ has stepped into Shane’s world now!” You mean high flying wrestling?

Shane’s Coast to Coast gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The big elbow misses but of course Shane is fine enough to counter the Phenomenal Forearm into a Maiavia Hurricane. That’s not enough from Shane though as he gets to try the shooting star, which only hits mat. The Phenomenal Forearm connects to finally put Shane away at 20:31.

Rating: B. Well that was Shane, with some Shane on the side and then more Shane to wrap it up. AJ looked awesome but that’s all he supposed to be. This was all about Shane getting to counter and hang with AJ, which doesn’t do Styles any good. A 40+ year old who doesn’t wrestle shouldn’t be hanging with a guy who was World Champion less than three months ago. But hey, Shane, right?

James Ellsworth is having issues working out so Ric Flair comes in to give him a Snickers. Then Ellsworth becomes Charlotte. Uh, yeah.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens. Their friendship had been having some issues of late so Jericho put together the Festival of Friendship, an over the top celebration of all things Owens and Jericho. At the end of it, Owens turns on Jericho and beat the heck out of him. Jericho came back and cost him the Universal Title at Fastlane so Owens is coming for Jericho’s Universal Title. The question became could Owens win without Jericho and now we get the chance to find out.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. Jericho’s entrance brings back the countdown for a nice touch. Throw in the light up scarf and a big List of Jericho on the stage and this is advantage Chris. They slug it out to start with the Walls going on less than thirty seconds in. That sends Owens bailing to the floor and a top rope forearm to the head drops Owens back inside. Owens kicks him in the face and hammers away to take over.

We hit the chinlock, with some horribly obvious spot calling, followed by the backsplash for two. They head outside for the third time with Jericho backdropping his way out of the apron powerbomb. Jericho chops away and gets two off a super hurricanrana but gets clotheslined down. The frog splash misses, the Lionsault hits knees, and the Swanton hits knees as well to give us a slow down stretch.

Now the Lionsault connects for a delayed two but Owens gets in his own Walls of Jericho. A rope is grabbed so Owens tries the Cannonball, only to be reversed into the Walls. Kevin grabs the rope for the break and is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Codebreaker but Owens touches the rope with one finger for the save. That’s a sweet heel touch. Owens rolls outside and superkicks the knee, setting up the apron powerbomb to give him the pin and the title at 16:46.

Rating: C+. Not bad but they never cranked up the violence that you would have expected after seeing the Festival of Friendship. These two should have been ready to destroy each other and instead it’s just a match with Owens working the ribs and looking for a powerbomb. They accomplished the goal of making Owens look like he can win on his own, but this isn’t the way they should have gone about it.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Charlotte and Sasha Banks had raised the women’s division to entirely new levels and Charlotte needed a new challenger. Enter Bayley, who won the title on Raw in a big surprise, completely defeating the purpose of her character and leaving her with nothing to do. This problem would plague her for the next year and still does to this day. Nia Jax was added to the other three because you need to have as many people in Wrestlemania matches as possible.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending under elimination rules. The tube men are at ringside for a special change of pace. Sasha rides in on the back of a chauffeured car because that’s what Sasha does. Charlotte gets a crazy amount of pyro, making her look even more like a star than usual. Everyone goes after Nia to start but she wrecks them in increasingly short order. A Banzai Drop crushes Bayley and Nia throws Charlotte off the apron onto both Bayley and Sasha. There’s something about people being thrown around like weapons.

All three get together to go after Nia with Sasha wisely grabbing the leg to keep her in place. Charlotte boots Nia in the face for a double German suplex for two in a painful looking crash. Nia is back up and tries a second Banzai, only to get TripleBombed out of the corner for the elimination at 4:08.

As usual, Nia chokes in the big match because that’s just how she rolls. Charlotte pulls Bayley to the floor and it’s Sasha hitting a flip dive to take the champ down. As you might expect, it’s the corkscrew moonsault from the top to take Bayley and Sasha down again in a huge crash.

Back in and Natural Selection is countered into a failed Bank Statement attempt. Instead Charlotte gets two off a backbreaker and rips off a turnbuckle pad in frustration. Sasha’s top rope double knees are good for two of her own and the Bank Statement goes on. Sasha goes with a rollup and the kickout sends her face first into the buckle for the elimination at 8:10.

Bayley comes back in and gets her knee rammed into the exposed buckle. The moonsault, with the wind blowing Charlotte’s hair around, only hits mat to give Bayley a near fall. Charlotte is fine enough to go after the knee and grab the Figure Eight. Bayley gets to the rope so Charlotte takes her into the Tree of Woe, only to get backdropped from the top in a big crash. The big elbow is enough to retain the title at 12:04.

Rating: D. Why can’t they get these big matches right? This was completely backwards with Nia being thrown in there at the last minute and lasting all of four minutes. Then it’s Bayley not really overcoming the odds and just pinning Charlotte after shrugging off some of the offense. It’s not some come from behind win or a big moment, but really just a match where Charlotte happened to lose.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Hearing Jim Cornette’s voice in WWE is just wrong.

Diamond Dallas Page. Nice reaction and WELL deserved just for his stuff with Hall and Roberts alone.

Rock N Roll Express. WAY overdue.

Rick Rude. See the Rock N Roll Express.

Teddy Long. I defy you to not smile at this.

Eric LeGrand. Warrior Award and that’s fine.

Beth Phoenix. Fine enough if a female entrant is required.

Kurt Angle. Yep. Moving on.

Support the Boys and Girls Club! Fair request actually.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

No real story here as this is they’ve just been feuding and it’s time for a title match. Anderson and Gallows are defending and this is a ladder match because we have to have one. Enzo and Cass’ speech is short this time as they say they’re climbing every rung to win the titles. We’re ready to go….and here’s New Day. Yeah remember them?

Anyway they’re in wrestling gear here but first, an announcement. This is now a FATAL FOUR WAY with one more team to be added. That would be the HARDY BOYZ, making a shocking return and giving us a legitimate Wrestlemania moment. Before the music hit, I stood up and said “they wouldn’t”, which was aided as I couldn’t see that New Day was in ring gear. Amazing moment here and the twenty six million YouTube views suggest that it’s quite the popular idea. Cole says thinks are about to be BROKEN and Matt does the DELETE pose.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) and the Hardys waste no time with Poetry in Motion to Gallows. Enzo and Cass are taken down as well as the fans are entire enamored with the Hardys all over again. A Whisper in the Wind takes both Sheamus and Cesaro down and it’s time for the first ladder. Jeff goes up but it’s Gallows making a pretty easy save. Cesaro comes back in and climbs onto Gallows’ shoulders for a double stomp onto Anderson’s ribs. Well that worked.

This time it’s Enzo and Cass coming in, just to make sure that everyone gets their turn in you see. That goes nowhere so the Hardys bridge the ladders between the ring and the apron but Cesaro and Sheamus slam them together. With a little too much Sheamus on offense, Cass launches Enzo over the ladders like a cannonball to take him down.

Back in and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Gallows while Cesaro Swings Anderson. Despite what Cole thinks, that’s not exactly working together. We hear about the Tag Team Titles not changing hands at Wrestlemania in SIXTEEN YEARS (that’s inexcusable) until Sheamus Brogue Kicks the heck out of Cass. Enzo shoves the ladder over to drop Gallows and Sheamus and goes up, sending Graves into hysterics over the horrible possibilities.

Sheamus and Gallows come back in for the save but don’t bother to knock him off the ladder. Instead it’s Anderson climbing the ladder and knocking Cesaro into the ladder. There’s a Magic Killer to Cesaro but Matt hits them both with a Twist of Fate, including a big one off of the ladder to Anderson. Jeff hits the required Swanton off the ladder to drive Cesaro through a bridged ladder, leaving Matt to pull the titles down at 11:05.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can get out of a ladder match like this with almost nothing to it other than the big Hardys return. That being said, they absolutely got the ending right as there was no other way to go here. Enzo and Cass weren’t going to work after something as special as the Hardys showing up so don’t even try. There wasn’t much to this in the way of high spots either, but this was ALL about Matt and Jeff, as it should have been.

Jimmy Fallon is here.

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella, which is mostly about Nikki and Cena teaming together for the first time ever. The idea is that Cena won’t marry Nikki so Miz and Maryse are better, meaning we’re just waiting on Cena to pop the question here. In the show stealing moment of the year though, Miz and Maryse did some parody videos of Cena and Nikki and Total Divas/Bellas, giving us some of the funniest things WWE has ever done.

They nailed the ridiculous nature of the shows to perfection and made Miz look like the guy who should be ready to break through every ceiling above her. Oh and Maryse as Nikki Bella: sweet GOODNESS that worked on about a million levels. Finally though, a year later with Miz and Maryse now as parents, Cena’s jokes about Miz “firing blanks” are pretty much dead.

Jerry Lawler is on commentary.

Nikki Bella/John Cena vs. Maryse/The Miz

Al Roker is guest ring announcer for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than having a celebrity appearance. This is Maryse’s first match nearly six years and she doesn’t look like she’s lost a step. Cena and Nikki run down the ramp and we see a wide shot for a cool visual. Cena’s mom is in the front row and he seems shocked to see her, which would be a heck of a surprise.

The women start and there’s no contact for a minute so let’s bring in the guys instead. Miz poses on the ropes and then bails to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Miz finally stomps away as we finally make contact nearly two minutes in. Maryse gets in a poke to the eye so Miz can fire off a left hand. Cena and Nikki have had no offense so far. The fans are very pleased with Miz’s beating of Cena, mainly because they realize how awesome those Total Bellas parodies were.

Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner but Maryse breaks up the hot tag attempt by pulling Nikki off the apron. A DDT gives Miz two and he slowly does Daniel Bryan’s pose (How amazing is it that the match could ACTUALLY HAPPEN?). The YES Kicks keep Cena rocked but Miz makes the mistake of telling Nikki that she can’t see him.

A big slap puts Miz on the floor and a diving tag brings in Nikki. Some bad forearms to Maryse’s arms (Shane could do better than that) don’t do much damage so Nikki runs Miz over instead. Back in and Nikki’s big forearm sets up stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. The AA and a Rack Attack 2.0 give us a double pin at 9:38.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? Miz beat Cena up for about eight minutes and then it was hot tag Nikki to put the villains away Hogan style. After all the work and amazing promos, this is Miz’s Wrestlemania reward. I’m so glad this is what they went with instead of Cena vs. Undertaker, which was likely possible at this show. But hey, Total Divas and Total Bellas got a plot out of it.

Post match Cena says this is what Nikki wanted when she was rehabbing her neck. He tells a downright creepy story about Nikki being groggy before going inf or surgery. Apparently Cena asked if Nikki knew he would marry her one day. She said yes, and today is that day. Cena proposes and we get the big moment as she says yes. I’m SO glad this is what Cena, in the final few years that he has in WWE, is spending one of them doing this. It’s a sweet moment, but my goodness do this on Total Bellas where the fans want to see it.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. HHH, in another dumb story. So Rollins was HHH’s big ace in the hole a few years back and everything was all evil and great. Then Rollins tore his ACL and had to vacate the World Title, which HHH took as not being good enough to be the top guy. Let me repeat that: HHH said that leg issues were signs that someone wasn’t good enough to be the man in WWE. HHH then cost the returning Rollins the title to turn him face but now it’s time for revenge with a fired up Rollins wanting to burn the place down to destroy HHH.

Seth Rollins vs. HHH

Anything goes and, as usual, HHH gets the coolest entrance of the night with a big motorcycle and a police escort, plus Stephanie as a CRAZY HOT biker chick. Seriously, I know she can be irritating but she can rock the heck out of some leather pants. He gets the biggest entrance every year and it takes up a bunch of the spotlight but I can live with it if she’s in outfits like that.

Rollins’ entrance involves holding up a torch and touching it to the ground, sending digital flames down the ramp. I get the burn it down thing but it’s rather lame, along with coming after the really cool entrance. Well done again HHH, as he continues to be smarter than most wrestlers today.

They waste no time in slugging it out with Rollins getting the better of it (therefore I must remind you: HHH once won a slugout with modern day Brock Lesnar) to knock HHH outside. A dragon screw legwhip takes Rollins down by the knee that wasn’t hurt in the first place. Rollins shrugs it off and punches him away, followed by an enziguri back inside. The suicide dive sends HHH into the barricade and it’s already time for the announcers’ table. As usual, Rollins tries a Pedigree onto the table but gets countered with a DDT which doesn’t break the table.

HHH cranks up the violence with a chair to the knee before bridging Rollins’ knee between the ring and the table so he can drive his own knee into Rollins’. Back in and the slow knee work continues, because that’s how HHH loves to work on a show this big. Rollins tries the sunset bomb but hurts his knee all over again. It’s fine enough to hit the Buckle Bomb and a hard whip sends HHH over the corner to the floor. With HHH staggered, Rollins goes up top (Graves: “He’s screwed if he hits this or not.”) and scores with a high crossbody to the floor.

Since it’s an anything goes match, Rollins loads up a pair of chairs and a table on the floor instead of just bashing HHH with the chair. A frog splash to the back keeps HHH down but he kicks the knee out to cut Rollins off again. HHH takes forever to get up top though and gets a chair pelted at his head, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. You know, on the bad knee.

Stephanie breaks up the Phoenix Splash by pulling the knee onto the ropes and we hit a reverse Figure Four. That’s reversed into a Gargano Escape of all things but HHH goes smart by punching him in the knee. The reverse Figure Four goes on outside so Rollins reaches underneath the ring to find weapons. Naturally this includes the sledgehammer but HHH lets the hold go.

Back in and Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a low superkick to the face, followed by an enziguri to really hammer the point home. Stephanie takes the hammer away from Rollins though and a Pedigree gives HHH two. The fans barely even reacted to that one and I can’t say I blame them.

HHH channels his inner CM Punk and loads up a super Pedigree but gets backdropped down (already done by Bayley earlier). Now the Phoenix Splash gets two but neither can hit a Pedigree. Instead HHH hits him in the knee but walks into a superkick, which knocks Stephanie off the apron and through a table. That wakes the fans WAY up just in time for the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 25:25.

Rating: B-. This is an interesting one I was bored out of my mind watching it live but it flies by watching it back. That being said, the constant knee work got very dull, especially when it wasn’t even Rollins’ bad knee. As usual, the Stephanie bump got by far the strongest reaction of the night because it’s something you don’t see very often. It’s not a bad match at all but you EASILY could have chopped off ten minutes and no one would have missed a thing.

Pitbull performs the theme song and eats up way too much time.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. Orton joined the Wyatt Family after becoming tired of being beaten down by the team. Then he won the Royal Rumble and promised to never cash in the title shot on new champion Wyatt. It wound up being a ruse though and Orton used his newfound access to the Wyatt Family compound to destroy the whole place. Then Bray poured Sister Abigail’s ashes over himself and gained her powers as this story got REALLY stupid. There was also something about Luke Harper nearly becoming #1 contender that went nowhere but warrants a quick mention.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and has a viper go down the ramp, which he himself called stupid. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton takes him down with a Thesz press and some right hands. They head to the floor for more right hands but Bray goes caveman with a running headbutt back inside. And then the lights go out (which I thought was a blackout) until the mat is covered with a projection of maggots. We’re about two minutes into the match and this is already in the pantheon of dumbest ideas ever.

Bray runs him over again and this time it’s worms on the mat. The referee jumps out of the ring, possibly because he wants to go work for a sensible company like TNA. A Rock Bottom into a backsplash gives Bray two but Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two. I mean, it doesn’t matter as they’ve completely lost the fans after that stupid, STUPID idea but never let that stop WWE.

They head outside again with Bray diving off the apron and straight into a dropkick. Sister Abigail into the barricade drops Orton again but he’s back up with an RKO to knock Bray silly on the floor. That’s only good for two back inside and Sister Abigail is countered into the backbreaker. Orton’s hanging DDT looks to set up the RKO but this time Sister Abigail connects for two. But hang on because let’s hit those roaches to complete the trio of stupid! Orton is finally done with all this nonsense and hits the RKO for the pin and the title at 10:13.

Rating: F. You are the winter, fall and spring. You are the sun that summertime brings. You are the stars in the nighttime sky. You are my girl and I’m your guy. You got me all tied up in knots and I’m lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m just lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m lovin’ you lots and lots.

That doesn’t make sense? Neither does what we just saw. Moving on.

The pilots from the flyover are here. That’s kind of cool.

We recap the Universal Title match, which all started because of a video game. Goldberg came back at Survivor Series to face Brock Lesnar in a rematch of the nightmare that was Wrestlemania XX. In a shocker, Goldberg won in about a minute and a half. Then it was decided that Goldberg could win the title again. He went on to eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble and then won the Universal Title in about thirty seconds at Fastlane. Lesnar needed to defeat Goldberg once and for all so we’re having the match for the title tonight. This is all narrated by Paul Heyman, who talks about fantasies coming to an end in a nice touch.

Here’s the thing: you could do this same story without the title. Have Lesnar put up his career to get one more shot at Goldberg (it’s not like there was any doubt on the winner here anyway) so let us have the original plan: Owens dropping the title to Jericho (who never won the World Title as a face) and then Lesnar winning it the next month. Nah. We need GOLDBERG winning the title in a nostalgia moment for whatever reason.

Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is defending and gets the long walk to the ring which might as well be the long walk to the gallows. Lesnar wastes no time and hits three German suplexes in nineteen seconds. In a great visual, the camera is on Lesnar when Goldberg cuts him down with a spear. A second spear sends Lesnar bailing and the third spear takes Lesnar through the barricade. That’s the first MINUTE of this match as they’re certainly starting fast.

Back in and both finishers are escaped, setting up another spear to Lesnar. The Jackhammer gets two, making Lesnar the second person to ever kick out (the other being Hogan, who only did it because of a missed cue). That means another spear (Heyman: “HE’S IN POSITION AGAIN!”) but this time Lesnar leapfrogs him and Goldberg hits the buckles. More suplexes (make it ten total) set up the F5 to officially conquer Goldberg at 4:47.

Rating: B. This was PERFECT for what they had to work with. Goldberg wasn’t going to be out there for a long match (he didn’t in his prime either) and they went with the right path. This was as action packed of a nearly five minute match as all you could have done. That first spear looked awesome and Goldberg gets to go out on his big moment. I’m pleased, though not as much as Goldberg, who probably made a ton of money for less than ten minutes combined of wrestling time in his comeback.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa is defending and this is the most thrown together match that I can remember in a good while. They’re also rushing through the entrances due to the time issues. You know, because NOW they care about time issues. Naomi is the hometown girl and MY GOODNESS the Glow entrance is a sight to behold in a stadium. There are no tags of course so it’s a big brawl to start.

Naomi gets sent to the floor for a double suplex from Natalya and Carmella. Back in and Becky kicks the two of them down but James Ellsworth (Remember that?) grabs Becky’s foot to take over. Bliss breaks up a cover and screams at Carmella to get out of her ring. The DDT gets two on Natalya but Becky breaks it up this time, only to have Ellsworth come in. No Chin Music is countered into a Bexploder and it’s Naomi coming back in this time.

Naomi slingshots in to sunset flip Natalya, who German suplexes Becky at the same time. Speaking of the same time, Natalya tries a double Sharpshooter on Carmella and Naomi but can’t get the legs up. Well, not surprising, but it’s so bad that the camera cuts to her back. Naomi comes back in for a Rear View to Bliss and a big dive to take everyone out. Back in and Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn makes Bliss tap for the title at 5:33.

Rating: D. The timing issues KILLED this and there’s no way around it. Much like the ladder match earlier, there’s nothing you can do when you have five minutes and six people in a match. Naomi winning the title back is cool, but I still have no idea why her winning it back in her hometown is supposed to be some huge deal. Yeah it’s cool, but it’s not like this is some great moment.

Wrestlemania XXXIV is in New Orleans. Those songs will drive you crazy by the end of the weekend.

New Day comes out to thank the fans for the record attendance of 75,245. The team is still funny but egads they could have been cut out of this whole thing and not been missed.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker. Reigns eliminated him from the Rumble and now we have a match to determine who is the real Big Dog.

Jim Ross is out to do commentary for the main event. That’s even more impressive when you consider his wife died days before this show.

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

No holds barred, first announced before the entrances. Reigns is booed out of the stadium, as has become a custom. In a smart move, Undertaker rises from the middle of the ramp (with a cool visual of smoke building up and clearing to reveal him standing there). I completely missed this as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring and saw him climbing the steps.

Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and knocks Reigns to the floor. Back in and Reigns knocks him over the top as well, with Undertaker landing on his feet. Reigns hammers him down to take over and they head outside so this can be more of a brawl, which is the only way to go. The apron dropkick (to a standing Undertaker) puts Undertaker down again but he wins a slugout back inside. Reigns hits him in the face and Undertaker just looks mad.

Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the legdrop for two. The threat of a chokeslam sends Reigns outside again and this time the apron dropkick is punched out of the air. Another dropkick staggers Undertaker but it’s a chokeslam onto the announcers’ table. They climb onto the other tables and it’s a spear to drive Undertaker through (almost in a running spinebuster) for the double knockout.

Reigns is the only one back in….and Undertaker sits up. Back in and Reigns does the corner clotheslines into the corner right hands, meaning the Last Ride (an AWFUL one at that with little impact and more Undertaker dropping Reigns than slamming him down). It’s chair time but Undertaker takes it away and beats him down instead. A quick Superman Punch knocks Undertaker into the ropes but another is countered into a chokeslam onto the chair.

The Tombstone gets two and the fans, who are supposed to be smart at Wrestlemania, seem shocked at the kickout. Off the first Tombstone. In a Wrestlemania match. Who’s the smart one here? Another Tombstone is loaded up but this time Reigns backflips….and just can’t lift Undertaker for the counter. They try a few more times but just stop for the sake of embarrassment with Reigns trying a Superman Punch instead.

The spear connects but Undertaker is fine enough to put on Hell’s Gate. The rope is reached for a break (erg) and Reigns unloads with the chair. Another spear gets another two and another spear gets another two and another Superman Punch (Undertaker sits up and falls over) sets up another spear to give Undertaker his second Wrestlemania loss at 22:57. That last sequence took nearly five minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s not terrible, but Undertaker looked like an old man who should have hung it up a few years ago. The problem here was the crowd being completely dead and it showed really badly. There’s only so much energy you can have in an academic match at the end of a seven hour show. Reigns winning makes complete sense but it was a bad match (the botches and CRAZY amount of time spent standing around didn’t do it any favors) and there’s no way around that.

Reigns gets the big pyro display behind him as he stands on the ramp (great shot) but we’re not done yet. Undertaker slowly sits up and we go to a bunch of replays. Back to live and it’s Undertaker standing in the ring with the hat and coat on. I use that term loosely as it looks like Mark Callaway standing there dressed as Undertaker. For the first time, it seems like we’re seeing the real person instead of the character, which is a MAJOR change for him.

He looks around to the crowd, takes off his gloves, coat and hat and folds them up in the ring. With the fans applauding, he goes outside, kisses Michelle McCool, and walks up the ramp. Undertaker stops, looks back one more time, raises the fist, and lowers down through the ramp, fist still in the air, to end the show with the gong sounding one more time. There was no commentary for the last ten minutes, without even a goodbye (appropriate here).

That’s about as perfect of a sendoff as WWE has ever done. It was emotional, it felt special, and it came off like the real thing. Undertaker is the last vestige of that older generation and him breaking character for the first time ever and leaving is incredible to see. It’s why I don’t want to see him wrestle again and why it makes me sad to think that he will. Incredible stuff, and Thank You Taker.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s no way around it: this show is way way way way way way way WAY too long. I got through an hour of the show a few days back (you know I’m not watching this in one sitting) and looked down at the bar in near horror of how little space I had covered. Five hours, plus TWO HOURS of a Kickoff Show is just too much, especially when there’s stuff to be cut. What could be cut? Well off the top of my head:

AJ vs. Shane (move AJ to ANYTHING else and drop Shane) entirely or at least cut it down by about eight minutes

Corbin vs. Ambrose (I know it’s the Intercontinental Title but on a show this huge, it’s understandable)

Smackdown Women’s Title (it’s just nothing and felt like total filler)

Five to ten minutes each off of Reigns vs. Undertaker and HHH vs. Rollins (those combine for nearly fifty minutes total)

Pitbull

AT LEAST get this down to four and a half hours of main show. That can’t be too much to ask, right?

Other than the timing issues though, the show is mostly solid. There’s a ton of good stuff up until the mixed tag and then things start to fall apart. The Universal Title match was as perfect as it was going to be get but there’s just so much bad around it (Bray vs. Orton, Reigns vs. Undertaker, HHH vs. Rollins in that match that is still going on somewhere, with HHH still working the knee) that the good is dragged down.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the timing issues as there’s almost no way to make a show this long work. It’s too much to sit through and it becomes a chore at the end. Just cut this down by a good hour (or two) and things are much better, but bigger is better for WWE and that’s not changing anytime soon. As it is, the show works more than it misses but it’s still not a classic by any means.

Ratings Comparison

Neville vs. Austin Aries

Original: A-

2018 Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Original: C-

2018 Redo: D

Hardy Boyz vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Original: F

2018 Redo: F

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Original: D-

2018 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Yeah I overrated a lot of this the first time around. It’s good, but not that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/04/07/wrestlemania-xxxiii-a-long-wait-for-a-long-show-with-a-long-ramp/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Tinashe

I was in the stadium for the show so this is my second time seeing it. My seat was in the upper deck and I had the hard cameras opposite me with the set (amazing visual which looked even better at night) on my right, basically in line with the upper right hand corner of the ring. This presented a bit of an issue as you could see two of the screens above the ring, meaning I was looking at most of one screen and the right side of another. In other words, when New Day was out for example and standing Woods, Big E. and Kofi, I was seeing Kofi, Woods, Big E., and Kofi again. That took some getting used to.

The ramp is HUGE, apparently running eighty yards and coming down from what would have been the second deck of stands.

Pre-Show: Austin Aries vs. Neville

We take a break and come back with Neville holding a chinlock, as is the common action when coming back for some reason. Neville takes too long yelling at the fans and misses a Phoenix splash, allowing Aries to hit the big ax handle to the floor. Another kick to the face stops Aries but he shoves the superplex away.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Only Big Show and Braun Strowman get introductions. We see Rob Gronkowski in the front row, just in case you wanted to have some drama about the ending. Braun tosses Primo at the bell and Kalisto goes out a few seconds later. What in the world happened to him? Gotch and Slater are gone, followed by Jey Uso and Goldust. Everyone has been put out by Big Show and Strowman so far to really hammer the idea home.

That makes sense though as you have to get rid of a bunch of the dead weight in this thing. Ziggler is sent to the apron for a second time but hangs on again and manages to backdrop Truth out. Rhyno follows him to the floor and Mahal puts Ziggler on the apron again to no avail. American Alpha dumps English, Axel and Jimmy Uso as the ring is rapidly clearing out.

Mojo finally gets rid of Ziggler and Titus kicks Harper out (Huh?) to get us down to five. Sami clotheslines Titus to the floor but gets dumped by Dain to suck the life out of the crowd. Mahal is down in the corner so we get Mojo vs. Dain, which sounds a lot more interesting than I was expecting. A tackle actually drops the monster but Mahal sends Mojo through the ropes to the floor.

Gronkowski gets in and runs Mahal over and Rawley hits the running right hand to Dain, setting up a clean elimination. Mahal gets sent to the apron and eventually the running fist gives Mojo the win at 14:08. I was legitimately scared they were going to give it to Mahal at the end so well done on the fake out.

Rating: D. Yeah it was boring (and flat out bad at times) but it was on the pre-show and we got a good choice for the winner (and not just because I picked Rawley for the win). This is the kind of match where you can give someone a rub without damaging anyone else so if it bombs, no one loses anything as a result. The Gronkowski stuff was harmless (and gave me a good laugh with the referees having to get rid of security) and Rawley is going to energize the crowd. Also, what the heck happened to Strowman? He goes from a potential main eventer to this in a month? Really?

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose charges right at him and gets dropped twice in a row. Corbin tries his slide underneath the bottom rope and gets taken down by a suicide dive. Back in and Dean is sent ribs/back first into the post as the beatdown begins. We get another audio break with no video break and come back (I think?) with Corbin working on the ribs. A choke shove (stop stealing from Alexa Bliss) drops Ambrose for two and Baron sends him into the barricade to vent some frustration.

Back in and we hit the chinlock with Dean looking more bored than in pain. Corbin is sent shoulder first into the post but the top rope elbow is partially blocked. Dirty Deeds is fully blocked but Corbin is sent outside. Dean sends him into the steps and now the top rope elbow connects. Back in and Deep Six gets two on the champ, only to have the rebound lariat put Corbin down as well. Corbin gets up first and starts talking trash, only to take too much time with End of Days, allowing Ambrose to grab Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:54.

The opening video focuses on the Ultimate Thrill Ride concept with a camera going down a roller coaster. Almost everyone on the card is seen at one point. All of the usual suspects were booed out of the building, though Miz and Maryse got one heck of a pop. Lesnar received a mixed reaction, which could make for one heck of an interesting Raw World Title match.

AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon

AJ reverses that into a one leg/arm Styles Clash for two (because that move is worthless anymore) and both guys are spent. A slugout goes to Shane but the referee gets bumped, allowing AJ to go and grab a trashcan. As luck would have it he loads up Shane for the Coast to Coast, which is broken up by Shane using the can to knock him out of the air.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Charlotte goes right after Nia with Sasha and Bayley helping, only to have the monster shrug them all off. Sasha and Bayley get splashed in the corner, leaving Charlotte to chop away at Nia. With Bayley and Sasha on the floor, Nia throws Charlotte onto them and everyone is down. Back in and everyone goes after Nia at the same time, including a big boot into a double belly to back suplex for two.

Charlotte bails to the floor and tells the two of them to fight, only to pull Bayley to the floor so Sasha can score with a flip dive. Charlotte busts out the corkscrew dive and hits it PERFECTLY for a change, which is an incredibly rare sight. Back in and Natural Selection is countered the Bank Statement but Charlotte slips out again.

The Hall of Fame Class of 2017 is presented:

Diamond Dallas Page (LONG overdue for what he did after retirement if nothing else)

Rock N Roll Express (Even longer overdue)

Teddy Long (One of the most versatile performers ever)

Beth Phoenix (Good worker in a bad era)

Kurt Angle (One of the best of all time and easily deserving of the headlining spot)

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Hardy Boyz

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella. This is built around the idea of Miz and Maryse being a real couple and Cena/Bella being a robotic couple who are only there for the cameras. Cena and Nikki finally started acknowledging their relationship on TV and a mixed tag was set, which set up some hilarious parodies of Total Bellas with Miz and Maryse impersonating Cena and Nikki.

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. Miz/Maryse

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes. In his annual over the top entrance, HHH comes out on a three wheeled motorcycle flanked by police motorcycles. This is completely redeemed by Stephanie as biker girl in leather pants. I know she gets on my nerves a lot but my goodness she looks great here. Seth has a torch for some reason, which I guess symbolizes burning the place down. Rollins kicks him to the floor to start but a dragon screw legwhip to the good knee takes Rollins down.

HHH throws him in the reverse Figure Four which put Rollins out for weeks but Rollins reverses into a modified Crossface. That goes nowhere so HHH chairs the knee again and puts the hold on outside. Rollins tries to go underneath the ring to find whatever he can, including a sledgehammer which he throws to HHH for reasons of general stupidity. They head back inside with Rollins not only being able to stand but also being able to win a slugout.

That one spot COMPLETELY woke the crowd up after this long match had sucked the life out of them and shows what happens when you finally give the fans the comeuppance that a villain has earned (granted it might be nice if it happened more than once a year but you take what you can get with Stephanie). Rollins hits the Pedigree for the pin at 25:25.

Rating: C+. Major knee issues aside, this was actually much, much easier to sit through on a second viewing. It was a horribly boring match live and I was checking out reaction to the show instead of paying attention to the match. This viewing felt like the time was cut in half and I never really got bored.

Pitbull and company perform. You could actually see the fans stand up almost in unison and head for the concourse.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

The pilots from the fly over are here.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

The Jackhammer only gets two (I believe Hogan is the only other person to kick out of that, which I think was due to Nash missing his cue) and you can see the life come back into Heyman. Goldberg loads up another spear but Lesnar leapfrogs him, sending Goldberg into the buckle. Seven more German suplexes (for the sake of the Tye Dillinger TEN from the crowd) sets up an F5 to give Lesnar the title back at 4:47.

Naomi and Carmella are put in a double Sharpshooter which falls apart before Natalya can even turn it over. The MickDT gets two on Becky and Mickie runs into a superkick (literally, as in she was out of range and had to move forward). Naomi clears the ring and hits the Rear View on Bliss before diving onto everyone else. Back in and Bliss punches Naomi out of the air, only to get caught in a weird submission (kind of a reverse Crossface actually) to give Naomi the title at 5:33.

New Day announces the attendance record of 75,245. Again, I forgot they were a part of this show.

We recap Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns. This is your pretty standard story: Undertaker is the old guard and Reigns is the new young star who thinks this is his yard. I know you hear this kind of story with Undertaker a lot but it really did feel different this time around.

Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker

This is announced as no holds barred, which is a new stipulation. In a very smart idea, Undertaker rises out of the middle of the ramp instead of walking all the way down. I completely missed that as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring as he was getting in. No matter how old he is, that entrance is still chilling live.

Undertaker starts fast and knocks Reigns to the floor and says this is still his yard. Back in and Reigns scores with a right hand before sending Undertaker over the top and right onto his feet. Reigns goes into the steps, only to come back with a Samoan drop to put Undertaker down. They head outside again with Undertaker popping him in the jaw to cut off the momentum, which makes sense from someone billed as a great striker. They head back inside again with the Snake Eyes into the big boot dropping Reigns for two.

Reigns poses in front of the big fireworks display in what would normally end the show.

He takes off the gloves (just like last year), the coat and finally, with a heavy sigh, the hat, leaving all of them in a pile on the mat. Undertaker finally leaves the ring, kisses Michelle McCool in the front row, and walks up the stage to the riser that brought him up for his entrance. With one last look back (and what appear to be tears), Undertaker raises his fist one last time as he descends to the gong sounding and THANK YOU TAKER CHANTS.

Results

AJ Styles b. Shane McMahon – Phenomenal Forearm

Kevin Owens b. Chris Jericho – Apron powerbomb

Bayley b. Nia Jax, Sasha Banks and Charlotte – Top rope elbow to Charlotte

Hardy Boyz b. Anderson and Gallows, Sheamus/Cesaro and Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Matt pulled down the titles

John Cena/Nikki Bella b. Miz/Maryse – AA to Miz and Rack Attack 2.0 to Maryse

Seth Rollins b. HHH – Pedigree

Randy Orton b. Bray Wyatt – RKO

Brock Lesnar b. Goldberg – F5

Naomi b. Carmella, Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, Becky Lynch and Natalya – Arm trap submission to Bliss

Roman Reigns b. Undertaker – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Barretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Primo and J. are sent out in the first thirty seconds but the ring is still really full. Henry puts out the Dudebusters and Chavo, only to get dumped by Khali. As you might expect, a bunch of people get together to put Khali out as well. Cryme Tyme gets together to put out Gallows but Shad eliminates JTG. Things settle down for a change but there are still too many people in there.

Rating: D+. This would be the traditional not great battle royal but it was cool to see someone young getting a win for a change. You could see a lot of new names showing up around the company, though a lot of them really never went anywhere. Unfortunately that would include Tatsu, who never went much higher than this, partially due to ECW not being around to take away some of the roster spots.

We open with another fly over.

Fantasia (from American Idol) sings America the Beautiful.

Tag Team Titles: R-Truth/John Morrison vs. The Miz/Big Show

Video on Wrestlemania week in Phoenix.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Extreme Rules ad.

Sheamus vs. HHH

Two straight Irish Curse backbreakers put HHH down as the match slows a lot. An ax handle gets two and some simple right hands to the face get the same. We hit the chinlock because this is the point in a WWE style match where you would put on a chinlock. After a powerslam, Sheamus grabs an armbar. Dude come on. HHH fights up out of the devastating armbar (because nothing else had been done to his arm) and grabs a DDT.

The high knee and facebuster get two but Sheamus counters the Pedigree into the Brogue Kick for two (of course HHH gets to be one of if not the first person to kick out of it). After the spinebuster sends Sheamus to the apron, another Brogue Kick drops HHH. No cover though as HHH pops up and hits the Pedigree for the pin at 12:10.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk holds him down with a test of strength grip until Rey fights up and springboards to the top for a moonsault into a DDT (that looked way better than I was expecting). Another moonsault is caught in the GTS (Go To Sleep) but Rey grabs the rope to save himself. Rey kicks him down and tries a frog splash but Punk sits up just in time. Back up and Serena saves Punk from a 619, only to have it connect a few seconds later, setting up the springboard splash for the pin at 6:30.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Bret punches it out of his hand though and beats on him for a bit, followed by stomping away at the “lower abdomen”. Someone throws Bret a chair so he can have a seat for a bit. Bret beats on him with the chair for a good while and Vince appears to be in shock. The Sharpshooter finally makes Vince tap at 11:09.

Rating: A. This was all it needed to be and exactly what people were expecting. Neither guy is a wrestler anymore so having the Hart Family, especially Kidd and Hart-Smith, helped a good bit. There was never any doubt as to what this was going to be and while it went a bit longer than it needed to, it did everything it needed to.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Atlanta. Cole promises a great guest host.

The attendance is 72,219, again not announced as a record.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Maryse/Michelle McCool/Alicia Fox/Layla/Vickie Guerrero vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Rating: D. Well at least it was quick. The Divas were in a weird place here as they were trying to find a new top name but everyone was kind of getting lost in the shuffle. Laycool (Layla and Michelle) were trying but they needed some top stars. Kelly eventually became the main star, even though she was just a model who could only kind of work a match. Anyway, this was a nothing match that was only there for the Vickie stuff, which was another problem around this time.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista gets into his gloating power offense but Cena grabs a quick suplex to get a breather. An early AA attempt is countered into a DDT for two and now Batista gets his real advantage. We hit the chinlock with a body scissors (Striker: “Look at this potential submission hold!” Just stop. Please.) but Cena fights up and wins a slugout, only to get caught in a neckbreaker. Now we get the real Cena comeback with all his usual stuff, including the STF which sends Batista crawling to the ropes. A quick spear gets two for the champ and both guys are down.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and no countout. Shawn just walks down but Undertaker makes his big entrance by rising up through the stage. Shawn breaks up the staredown with a throat slit of his own so Undertaker pounds on him in the corner early. Snake Eyes and the big boot set up Old School but Undertaker might have tweaked his knee. Shawn goes right after the knee to break up a chokeslam and starts in on the arm for some reason. Striker: “Shawn Michaels is very adept at submission grappling.” For the love of all things good and holy will someone SHUT HIM UP???

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo:

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/04/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvi-goodbye-mr-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.