Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXVI (2015 Redo): One More Try

Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Barretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Primo and J. are sent out in the first thirty seconds but the ring is still really full. Henry puts out the Dudebusters and Chavo, only to get dumped by Khali. As you might expect, a bunch of people get together to put Khali out as well. Cryme Tyme gets together to put out Gallows but Shad eliminates JTG. Things settle down for a change but there are still too many people in there.

Rating: D+. This would be the traditional not great battle royal but it was cool to see someone young getting a win for a change. You could see a lot of new names showing up around the company, though a lot of them really never went anywhere. Unfortunately that would include Tatsu, who never went much higher than this, partially due to ECW not being around to take away some of the roster spots.

We open with another fly over.

Fantasia (from American Idol) sings America the Beautiful.

Tag Team Titles: R-Truth/John Morrison vs. The Miz/Big Show

Video on Wrestlemania week in Phoenix.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Extreme Rules ad.

Sheamus vs. HHH

Two straight Irish Curse backbreakers put HHH down as the match slows a lot. An ax handle gets two and some simple right hands to the face get the same. We hit the chinlock because this is the point in a WWE style match where you would put on a chinlock. After a powerslam, Sheamus grabs an armbar. Dude come on. HHH fights up out of the devastating armbar (because nothing else had been done to his arm) and grabs a DDT.

The high knee and facebuster get two but Sheamus counters the Pedigree into the Brogue Kick for two (of course HHH gets to be one of if not the first person to kick out of it). After the spinebuster sends Sheamus to the apron, another Brogue Kick drops HHH. No cover though as HHH pops up and hits the Pedigree for the pin at 12:10.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk holds him down with a test of strength grip until Rey fights up and springboards to the top for a moonsault into a DDT (that looked way better than I was expecting). Another moonsault is caught in the GTS (Go To Sleep) but Rey grabs the rope to save himself. Rey kicks him down and tries a frog splash but Punk sits up just in time. Back up and Serena saves Punk from a 619, only to have it connect a few seconds later, setting up the springboard splash for the pin at 6:30.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Bret punches it out of his hand though and beats on him for a bit, followed by stomping away at the “lower abdomen”. Someone throws Bret a chair so he can have a seat for a bit. Bret beats on him with the chair for a good while and Vince appears to be in shock. The Sharpshooter finally makes Vince tap at 11:09.

Rating: A. This was all it needed to be and exactly what people were expecting. Neither guy is a wrestler anymore so having the Hart Family, especially Kidd and Hart-Smith, helped a good bit. There was never any doubt as to what this was going to be and while it went a bit longer than it needed to, it did everything it needed to.

Wrestlemania XXVII is in Atlanta. Cole promises a great guest host.

The attendance is 72,219, again not announced as a record.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Maryse/Michelle McCool/Alicia Fox/Layla/Vickie Guerrero vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Rating: D. Well at least it was quick. The Divas were in a weird place here as they were trying to find a new top name but everyone was kind of getting lost in the shuffle. Laycool (Layla and Michelle) were trying but they needed some top stars. Kelly eventually became the main star, even though she was just a model who could only kind of work a match. Anyway, this was a nothing match that was only there for the Vickie stuff, which was another problem around this time.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista gets into his gloating power offense but Cena grabs a quick suplex to get a breather. An early AA attempt is countered into a DDT for two and now Batista gets his real advantage. We hit the chinlock with a body scissors (Striker: “Look at this potential submission hold!” Just stop. Please.) but Cena fights up and wins a slugout, only to get caught in a neckbreaker. Now we get the real Cena comeback with all his usual stuff, including the STF which sends Batista crawling to the ropes. A quick spear gets two for the champ and both guys are down.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and no countout. Shawn just walks down but Undertaker makes his big entrance by rising up through the stage. Shawn breaks up the staredown with a throat slit of his own so Undertaker pounds on him in the corner early. Snake Eyes and the big boot set up Old School but Undertaker might have tweaked his knee. Shawn goes right after the knee to break up a chokeslam and starts in on the arm for some reason. Striker: “Shawn Michaels is very adept at submission grappling.” For the love of all things good and holy will someone SHUT HIM UP???

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo:

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/04/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxvi-goodbye-mr-wrestlemania/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXII (2020 Redo): The Forgotten Wrestlemania

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 10, 2022: They Needed An Ace

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 10, 2022
Location: Paristown Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Sacrifice and on our way to the Multiverse of Matches over Wrestlemania weekend. I don’t think that show is going to have that much major long term impact, but it does sound fun so far. Other than that, the big story is Josh Alexander is back and coming for the World Title. Throw in the three title changes and Sacrifice was a big night. Let’s get to it.

Here is Sacrifice if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Josh Alexander for the opening chat. The fans chant about him being the NEXT WORLD CHAMP and that is all he has been wanting since Bound For Glory. He enjoyed sitting at home with his family but he had to come to some realities about his career. His son had been asking him when he would be getting his hands on Moose again. Well now he can say it’s April 23 at Rebellion because he is getting the title and his revenge.

Cue Honor No More to interrupt, with Eddie Edwards saying it must be nice to be able to leave and come back to work whenever you like. Before Josh worries about giving his son a new memory, he should tell him the truth: he has been handed everything since day one. Alexander threatens to knock his head off if he mentions his son’s name again. Alexander brings up everything he put on the line to bring the title back to Impact, but Eddie says the fans will turn on Alexander just as fast as they did him.

Matt Taven tells Alexander not to talk to Eddie like that and talks about how he and Eddie are both former World Champions. Taven: “And our reigns never finished prematurely in front of our wives.” Alexander: “When you were champion, you put the company out of business.” Alexander is willing to fight all of them and tries his best but Team Impact runs in for the save. Scott D’Amore comes out to say he is sure this is going to go smoothly one of these days, but it won’t be tonight. Tonight it’s Eddie vs. Rich Swann but for right now, it’s Willie Mack vs. Kenny King. Also, all night long, everyone is banned from ringside.

Willie Mack vs. Kenny King

King knocks him into the corner to start but gets shouldered out to the floor. The slingshot dive drops King again and they head back inside, where King grabs the referee. That lets him send Mack face first into the middle buckle to take over and a slingshot legdrop gets two. A seated abdominal stretch and camel clutch stay on Mack’s ribs and back but he gets in an “accidental” low blow. The Samoan drop into a standing moonsault gets two on King but he snaps off a powerslam for two. King misses a Blockbuster though and Mack hits the Stunner. The Six Star Frog Splash gives Mack the pin at 8:32.

Rating: C+. This was a good, mostly action based match and it was nice to see Mack getting a singles win for a change. I’ve always thought he could wind up being something around here but he seems more destined to be a tag guy. King was his usual self here and when that works, it can be rather entertaining.

We look at the Bullet Club’s night at Sacrifice.

Moose complains to Scott D’Amore about Josh Alexander sneaking into the World Title match at Rebellion. D’Amore asks if Moose is surprised that Alexander was sent home….which is a mile from Anthem’s corporate office. Moose has a week to sign the contract or he’s stripped.

Ace Austin vs. Crazzy Steve vs. John Skyler

The winner is added to the X-Division Title triple threat match at Rebellion so champion Trey Miguel is on commentary. Steve gets double teamed to start but he knocks Austin down and snaps Skyler’s neck around. Austin bails to the floor for a chat with Madman Fulton so Steve joins them, only to get enziguried.

We take a break and come back with Austin hitting running forearms to both of them in the corner until he gets sent outside. That leaves Skyler to hit a butterfly powerbomb for two but Austin is back in to kick both of them in the head. Austin gets caught on the top so Steve can bite Skyler, who holds him up in the air. That’s enough for Austin to come off with the Fold (turning it into a kind of Hart Attack Blockbuster) for the pin on Steve at 10:11.

Rating: C+. It’s the formula that has worked well forever and it still works today. While the X-Division isn’t quite a cruiserweight division, it goes by the same rules, including a few names being at the very top. That was the case here, as there was little reason to believe anyone but Austin was winning. That’s a good thing too, and the title match is already looking good.

Bhupinder Gujjar is ready to move forward but Rohan Raja comes in to ask why he hasn’t answered his phone calls. Larry D, who doesn’t work here anymore, comes in to get in Gujjar’s face. A big shot to the face has Raja saying that is why he and Gujjar have to be on the same page. Gujjar doesn’t seem convinced.

Violent By Design brags about winning the Tag Team Titles, saying it was all by design.

IInfluence/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans vs. Mickie James/Chelsea Green/IInspiration

Green has a brace on her wrist but won’t need surgery this time. Lee and Dashwood start things off with lee taking her down and hammering away early. It’s quickly off to Rayne, who takes McKay into the corner to take over. A forearm knocks Rayne away though and it’s Evans coming in instead. That works for the IInspiration, who double kick her down to take over.

This lasts all of five seconds as the IInfluence trip up Lee on the floor so Evans can run her over instead. Evans’ legdrop connects and it’s Rayne coming in for a chinlock. Lee manages to send the IInfluence into each other though and the hot tag brings in Mickie to clean house. Steelz cuts that off though and Kaleb With A K pulls Green off the apron to break up the tag. That’s fine with James, who hits the MickDT to finish Steelz at 5:59.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on having Steelz lose in her first match as champion, especially to Mickie. This is a match where Evans should have taken the pin to keep the new champions strong, as we are probably heading for a rematch at Rebellion. Either that or Green is getting the shot, though that is going to depend on her wrist, as she never actually got into the match here.

Jonah brags about taking out PCO at Sacrifice, where he showed that PCO is human.

Here is the Bullet Club for a chat. Karl Anderson introduces everyone and we stop for a TOO SWEET/WOOP WOOP chant. Doc Gallows isn’t happy with losing the Tag Team Champions but everyone is on notice. They have won titles on every continent but Antarctica because they don’t have wrestling there so they’re coming to get the Tag Team Titles back.

Jay White talks about beating Alex Shelly in a match that meant a lot to him. He didn’t shake Shelly’s hand, but Shelly can come out here for a too sweet right now. Cue Shelly to say he won’t come down there and too sweet “Jamie”, who he lived with for a year and a half while he was making no money in Ring of Honor. Shelly knows that White is doing what he has to do but he is still hurting from those chops.

White says Shelly knew him but doesn’t know him now. He lists off everything about himself and says that everything in wrestling happens to him. Shelly says he is the king of a generation and influenced Kazuchika Okada, the Young Bucks and White himself. Chris Bey: “WHY ARE YOU HERE???” Shelly: “The adults were having a conversation.” Shelly brings out Chris Sabin, who says that the two of them being together makes them the best tag team around here. Next week: White/Bey vs. Motor City Machine Guns.

Josh Alexander wants Honor No More so Scott D’Amore gives him Matt Taven next week. After that, focus on Moose though.

Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t feel bad about what happened to Chelsea Green because she knew the risk. Gisele Shaw comes in to say she’d love to take the titles from Purrazzo but here is Lady Frost to say she beat Shaw at Sacrifice. Purrazzo gets tired of the fighting and makes a winner take all triple threat next week.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Rich Swann vs. Eddie Edwards

Swann is looking serious here and dives off the apron to jump Edwards early. We take a break and come back with the fight still on the floor before they head inside for the opening bell. Maria has joined commentary as well as Eddie chops away in the corner. An overhead belly to belly drops Swann but he manages to send Eddie to the apron for a 619. Swann misses a dive though and we take a break.

Back with Eddie hitting a clothesline but Swann grabs some rollups for two. They head to the apron with a headscissors taking Eddie down to the floor in a crash. Back in and some kicks rock Eddie but he’s fine enough to crotch Swann on top. The Backpack Stunner sets up a half crab, sending Swann crawling to the ropes. Back up and Swann kicks away at Eddie’s face, setting up some stereo kicks to put both of them down.

Eddie’s tiger driver is countered into a rollup for two and they strike it out again. Something close to a Blue Thunder Bomb gives Eddie two Now the tiger driver connects for two but Swann is back with a cutter. The Lethal Injection gets two on Eddie but the phoenix splash misses. The Boston Knee Party connects though and the Die Hard Driver finishes Swann at 18:10.

Rating: B. No surprise on this one as two talented wrestlers got a lot of time and had a good match as a result. Edwards is a legitimate ace for Honor No More and that is what they need, if nothing else for the sake of most of their wrestlers having no track record around here. Swann is not likely to get back to the top of the company, but he is still good for a match like this every time.

Honor No More poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty solid show this week and the fact that we have a main event star ready to come after Moose makes things that much better. What matters here is they keep up the momentum and now we have a path towards Rebellion. Most of the card is yet to be determined, but at least they are already getting somewhere with the most important match.

Results
Willie Mack b. Kenny King – Six Star Frog Splash
Ace Austin b. John Skyler and Crazzy Steve – Fold to Steve
Chelsea Green/Mickie James/IInspiration b. Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans/IInfluence – MickDT to Steelz
Eddie Edwards b. Rich Swann – Die Hard Driver

 

 

 

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Sacrifice 2022: Oh. Yeah. I Went There. Lucky Me.

Sacrifice 2022
Date: March 5, 2022
Location: Paristown Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

This is the month’s Impact Plus special and the card is looking decent. There are a ton of title matches, capped off by Heath of all people getting the World Title shot. If that isn’t your thing, there are three Women’s Title matches, plus a hoss fight between Jonah and PCO. Let’s get to it.

Note that I was in attendance for the show, sitting in the balcony. That being said, I barely saw most of the show, as the balcony consists of a bunch of couches around the barricade and then some a handful of chairs behind it. I spent most of the show either in a chair or on my feet, trying to see a glimpse of the ring over the people around the barricade. It was probably the worst in-house experience I have ever had and I would absolutely not go back again. This will likely include the July return date that was announced during this show.

Pre-Show: Gisele Shaw vs. Lady Frost

Rematch from Shaw defeating Frost a few weeks back. Shaw goes for the arm to start but gets snapmared over for her efforts. A headscissors puts Shaw on the floor and Frost rolls along the apron to hurricanrana her down again. Back in and Shaw kicks her in the ribs, setting up a running elbow to the face.

Some forearms to the back of the head set up the corkscrew Vader Bomb to give Shaw two as the fans are behind Frost. Shaw gets knocked down in the corner, setting up a running Cannonball. Back up and Shaw grabs a hanging DDT for two, followed by a twisting suplex for the same. Frost gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up for a corkscrew moonsault and the pin at 6:01.

Rating: C. Frost is starting to grow on me but I’m surprised to see her pin Shaw. It seemed that Shaw was going to become a bigger deal around here but instead she lost on the pre-show to a non-pay per view. That being said, the division needs some fresh blood so maybe that is where Frost can come into play. Not a great match or anything, but you have to start somewhere.

Pre-Show: Matt Taven/Mike Bennett vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack

Maria sits in on commentary. Swann starts fast with Bennett and dropkicks him into the corner, only to get caught in the wrong corner. That means some alternating shots from Taven and Bennett but Swann gets knocked over for the tag to Mack. Everything breaks down fast and it’s a Rock Bottom to drive Mack onto the apron. Swann is right there with a dive to take them out, followed by Mack being fine enough to hit a running flip dive of his own.

Back in and Taven catches Mack with a hanging DDT and the villains take over. A catapult sends Mack into Taven’s enziguri but he strikes his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Swann to clean house, including the rolling splash for two on Taven. A flapjack into a bulldog gets the same with Bennett making the save but Taven runs Swann over. An exchange of kicks to the face lands Swann in the Proto Pack but Mack spears Taven. Swann sunset flips Bennett for the pin at 7:44.

Rating: C+. This picked things up a bit as Mack and Swann are always worth a look. At the same time, Bennett and Taven were one of the better Ring of Honor teams so there was some chemistry to be seen here. I’m still not sure where Honor No More is going, but losing here isn’t a bright sign for them tonight.

The opening video talks about what it means to sacrifice something. It often means to honor something, but in this world, nothing comes easy. The wrestlers will sacrifice their all for you, which shifts us to a focus on some of the matches.

X-Division Title: Trey Miguel vs. Jake Something

Something is challenging and easily wins a lockup to start. Miguel gets smart by striking away as fast as he can but the very springboardy wristdrag is blocked. Something’s clothesline takes Miguel down but he’s right back up with a dropkick. That doesn’t work for Something, who hits a heck of a sitout powerbomb (Miguel’s face on impact was great) for two before knocking a handspringing Miguel out of the air.

Miguel is back with some shots to the face but Something BLASTS HIM with a forearm. The running shoulder in the corner gets two on the champ, who is back with something like a snap Russian legsweep. A springboard spinning forearm puts Something down and Miguel nips back up. Some chops fire Something up though and a torture rack dropped down into a backbreaker gives him two. Miguel enziguris him to the floor though and a diving Canadian Destroyer gives us a pair of nasty thuds.

Thankfully they’re both fine and Something sends him hard into the corner, setting up a powerbomb. Something tries it again but this time Miguel reverses into a Meteora for two of his own. Miguel goes up but has to fight off Something, setting up the Cheeky Nandos kick. The 619 in the corner sets up a top rope Alberto Meteora to retain the title at 11:02.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of win that is going to help a champion like Miguel: being up against a bigger and stronger star and fighting from behind to eventually win. Miguel hung in there until he could get catch the big guy in something and it worked well. Good match here and the kind of match that is always going to work.

Here is what is coming on the rest of the show.

Tasha Steelz, with Savannah Evans, is ready to win the Knockouts Title from Mickie James and isn’t worried about Chelsea Green.

We recap Eddie Edwards vs. Rhino. Edwards turned on Team Impact at No Surrender to join Honor No More, which doesn’t have Rhino happy. Therefore, it is time for revenge.

Rhino vs. Eddie Edwards

The rest of Team Impact and Honor No More are all here too. Edwards misses a charge to start and gets knocked outside, where it’s time for a meeting with Honor No More. Back in and Eddie’s chops in the corner just annoy Rhino, who sends Eddie outside in front of Team Impact. Edwards dives back in, where Maria hands him Kenny the Kendo Stick.

That earns her an ejection so Rhino can punch away at Eddie’s head. Matt Taven trips him down from the floor though, which the referee somehow doesn’t notice. He also doesn’t notice Taven choking on the rope, allowing Eddie to take over in the corner. We hit the chinlock but Rhino is up before he even bothers getting down.

Rhino hits a running clothesline and a running shoulder in the corner but the fight breaks out on the floor. Vincent goes inside to hit a dive, followed by Rich Swann doing the same. Not to be outdone, Willie Mack goes up top for his own big dive, allowing Steve Maclin to run in and double arm DDT Edwards. He isn’t done though and kendo sticks Rhino down. That is enough to set up Edwards’ Boston Knee Party for the pin at 8:47.

Rating: C. There are a lot of things in wrestling you have to just get over, but there also comes a point where you can’t suspend your disbelief that far. That was the case here, as there was no reason to believe that the referee didn’t notice or care about something going on here. He didn’t notice the interference from either Honor No More or Maclin? Then fire him for being incompetent. The match itself was fine, but come on already.

We recap the IInfluence vs. the IInspiration for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles, which is really a battle over a personal photographer. That would be Kaleb With A K, who might be cheating on the IInfluence with the IInspiration.

The IInfluence tells Kaleb With A K to stay in the back and come out for pictures after they win the titles.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: IInfluence vs. IInspiration

The IInspiration (Cassie Lee/Jessie McKay) are defending against Tenille Dashwood/Madison Rayne. The referee holds up the titles and looks ANGRY for some reason. Well that was different. McKay shoulders Dashwood down to start so it’s quickly off to Rayne, who gets taken into the wrong corner. Lee armdrags her down for one and they go to an exchange of ones before Lee grabs an armbar.

Everything breaks down and the champs are sent head to head, only to clear the ring without much trouble. Dashwood takes out Lee on the floor and McKay kicks Dashwood in the face but gets posted. Back in and Madison chokes McKay in the corner before tying her in the Tree of Woe. That means Dashwood can get a running start to pull her by the hair, setting up the Taste of Tenille for two.

Lee starts getting up as McKay kicks Dashwood away and the hot tag brings her in. A quick suplex gives Lee two as the fans are way behind the IInspiration. Dashwood fights out of a double suplex and the Spotlight Kick gets two on Lee. Cue Kaleb With A K as Lee kicks Dashwood down for two as the referee finally starts clearing the ring. That’s enough for Kaleb With A K to send Dashwood one of the belts to knock Lee out and win the titles at 10:23.

Rating: C. You knew Kaleb With A K would be getting involved somehow and the question was whose side he would take. Changing the titles makes sense as it lets them build towards the IInspiration taking them back later. It isn’t like there is any kind of a division for the titles, so changing them here at least lets things be freshened up a bit.

Rhino is mad but tells Heath to stay in the back because he has a World Title match tonight. Anthony Carelli (Santino Marella) comes in to give Heath a pep talk, because if there is someone you want advice from, it’s Santino freaking Marella.

Brian Myers is here for his special commentary table but here is W. Morrissey to interrupt. Security comes in so Myers tries a cheap shot, which doesn’t go well. Morrissey goes for Myers, who runs off, leaving a security guard to get powerbombed through the table.

Jonah vs. PCO

Monster fight and there are no seconds for a change. They slug it out to start with Jonah knocking him into the corner. PCO comes right back with a neckbreaker and they’re out on the floor and it’s time to slug it out again. Jonah hits a Russian legsweep on the ramp before heading back inside for the chops.

In this case they just wake PCO up though and he unloads with chop after chop of his own in the corner. With Jonah knocked to the floor, PCO hits his own bit flip dive, setting up the top rope flip dive onto the apron. PCO heads up top but Jonah is right there for a heck of a top rope superplex, with the mat not rally bumping that much. Back up and they slug it out with an exchange of German suplexes before PCO no sells a DDT.

A suplex makes PCO vibrate and sit up so Jonah goes up top, earning himself a super hurricanrana back down. The PCOsault gets two but Jonah is ticked off this time. They head back outside with Jonah sending him into the steps and then hitting a TERRIFYING Tombstone onto the steps. Fans: “CHECK HIS PULSE!” Jonah isn’t done though and powerbombs him off the steps and onto the floor. Back in and a Tsunami to the back of the head finishes PCO at 11:30.

Rating: B-. This style might not be for everyone, but my goodness they were beating the fire out of each other here with some big man offense. Jonah hung with PCO and then beat him with three huge moves in the end. Good hoss style fight, though I did cringe hard on the Tombstone and powerbomb at the end. They look very cool, but dang they’re hard to see at times.

Jay White is ready to show Alex Shelley what he has learned around the world.

Jay White vs. Alex Shelley

Former student vs. former teacher and it is nice to hear that Motor City Machine Guns theme again. They stare each other down to start and circle each other as the fans start the dueling chants. The lockup takes over a minute to start and they trade standing switches until White bails to the ropes. Shelley grabs the arm and cranks away, setting up a middle rope knee to the arm.

An apron knee to the head rocks White again but he gets his knees up to block a slingshot splash. White hits a backbreaker and drops Shelley throat first across the top rope to send him outside. A drop on the barricade sets up a running elbow to the face back inside as Shelley keeps getting rocked. The waistlock keeps Shelley down but he fights up and hits a running forearm to the face.

Back up and White grabs a DDT, setting up a twisting suplex for two. Shelley manages a quick Downward Spiral into the middle buckle for a needed breather but White goes to the eye to cut that off. Some hard chops put Shelley down again but he’s right back up with his own series of chops. A quick Sliced Bread gives Shelley two and a superkick keeps up the comeback.

The Motor City Stretch is countered and so is the Bladerunner, meaning Shelley can get the Motor City Stretch. White makes the rope though and they crash out to the floor, where Shelley is driven into the apron. Back in and Shelley grabs a Bladerunner to set up the Motor City Stretch but White is right back out with the Bladerunner for the pin at 18:48.

Rating: B. This is kind of a match that you can always use on a wrestling show as they didn’t have any kind of a gimmick. Instead it was two talented people getting in the ring and showcasing what they can do, which is a lot more than some wrestlers are capable of doing. It’s the best thing on the show by a wide margin, as White gets a nice win to further establish him around here.

White mocks Shelly after the match.

Violent By Design says their business arrangement with the Good Brothers is over and it’s time to get their Tag Team Titles back, which is all by design. It’s still an Eric Young stable so I can’t bring myself to care.

Ring of Honor Women’s Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Chelsea Green

Green is challenging in the Champ Champ Challenge. Feeling out process to start with Green’s headlock being countered into a headscissors. Back up and Green sends her outside for a suicide dive, only to get clotheslined down back inside. Purrazzo starts cranking on the arm but Green is back with a sunset flip to set off a pinfall reversal sequence. They hit stereo pump kicks to the face and that’s a double knockdown. Green is up first with a running dropkick but I’m Prettier is broken up.

Instead Green hits her lifting Downward Spiral for two, only to have Purrazzo pull her into the Fujiwara armbar. Green reverses into one of her own though, sending Purrazzo straight to the ropes. Purrazzo has had it and uses her legs to snap Green’s arm but then panics at Green screaming in pain. That doesn’t last long though as Green forearms her down, causing Purrazzo to grab the Fujiwara armbar for the tap to retain at 8:18.

Rating: C. Green continues to be someone who seems to have all kinds of potential but never really wins the big one. Losing to Purrazzo is hardly a crushing defeat, but at some point Green needs to win something. That being said, the sound of that wrist snapping is chilling live and it came across almost as bad on TV. That might be because it seemed to be a legitimate injury, at least according to Green after the show. Just in case you thought she couldn’t have more bad luck I guess.

Post match Purrazzo keeps the hold on but here is Mickie James to chase her off. Since this show is running a bit long, that sounds like a good enough way to start the next match.

Knockouts Title Match: Tasha Steelz vs. Mickie James

Steelz, with Savannah Evans, is challenging as Green is still being tended to on the floor. The distracted James gets jumped from behind to start but stomps Steelz down in the corner to take over. Steelz misses a boot and gets pulled into a Boston crab but Evans goes after the injured Green as she is being taken out.

James goes after Evans for the save, allowing Steelz to sent her into the steps to take over again. Back in and Steelz kicks her into the corner before kicking her in the corner again. A basement kick to the face gives Steelz two and we hit the camel clutch. Mickie fights up with a backpack Stunner to escape but Steelz catches her on top. That means a big crash out to the floor and they slap it out back inside.

Mickie’s Thesz press lets her hammer away and a neckbreaker gets two. The MickDT connects but Evans comes in for the distraction. Steelz grabs the Black Out for two more so Mickie comes out of the corner with a hurricanrana. Back up and Steelz tries Stratusfaction but gets shoved off, allowing Mickie to grab a flapjack. Evans has to be kicked away again though, allowing Steelz to counter a dive into a cutter for the pin and the title at 14:09.

Rating: C. I’m still not sure what Impact sees in Steelz but this was the veteran putting someone young/new over and that is exactly what needed to happen. Impact picked someone and is running with them so well done on making the right move. The match was good enough too and the cutter for the finish looked nice.

We recap the Good Brothers vs. Violent By Design. The two had worked together to fight the Bullet Club but then the Brothers joined the Club, meaning it’s time for the title match.

Tag Team Titles: Violent By Design vs. Good Brothers

The Brothers are defending and have Chris Bey with them, while Deaner is with Violent By Design. Anderson and Young start things off with Young getting armdragged down. It works so well that Anderson does it again but Young gets over for the tag to Doering. Naturally that means Gallows comes in because this company loves itself some monster showdowns.

Gallows wins a battle of shoulders and drives in elbows to Doering’s chest. The chinlock doesn’t last long for Gallows, as Doering is back up with a running shoulder. It’s back to Anderson to run Young over and a big running backsplash connects for Anderson. Doering comes in to clean house and Young’s top rope else gets two. Anderson fights up and hands it back to Gallows for a reverse full nelson slam (Pete Gas’ old Gas Mask, and I’m scared that I remember that).

Doering comes back in for an AA to Anderson, setting up Young’s Death Valley Driver for two. Everyone heads to the corner for a not great Tower of Doom, leaving Doering on his feet. Anderson is back up with a spinebuster to Doering, who pops up and hits a running clothesline. Young takes Gallows up the ramp for a piledriver on the stage, leaving Anderson to get caught in a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination for the pin and the titles at 11:32.

Rating: C. At least they finally took the titles off of the Good Brothers, but putting them back onto Violent By Design isn’t much better. This is one of those stories that isn’t exactly doing much for me and I’m almost worried about where it is going. Maybe this will be a bit of fresh air, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up given who is involved.

We recap Moose vs. Heath for the World Title. Moose is champion, Heath wants a title shot, somehow this is the best they can do for a main event.

Anthony Carelli joins commentary because we’re just that lucky.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Moose vs. Heath

Moose is defending and throws Heath into the corner to start but Heath slips out and hammers away. A toss sends Heath flying across the ring though and Moose runs him over again. There’s a boot choke in the corner and a kick to the face cuts off Heath’s comeback attempt. Heath’s shirt is ripped open for some chops but he scores with a sidekick to put Moose on the floor.

That’s fine with Moose, who kicks him in the face and gets in a posting as this continues to be one sided. Heath gets pulled against the post and a whip into the barricade makes it worse. Back in and Moose stomps on the hand before switching over to the foot. A bite of Moose’s hand just makes Moose angrier and he sends Heath into the apron over and over. Heath fights up and manages to knock Moose outside for a slingshot dive but the Wake Up Call only gets two. Moose plants him with a release Rock Bottom and the spear retains the title at 12:12.

Rating: D+. This was a squash, with Heath’s limited offense not feeling like any kind of a threat. The match felt like a joke coming in and then that’s exactly what we saw throughout. I’m not sure why this was supposed to be anything else and the match was just a matter of killing time before the only conceivable ending.

Post match Josh Alexander returns to take Moose out. Alexander grabs the mic and says the last time he was here, Scott D’Amore sent him home. Well now he’s back, with a long term contract, which includes the title shot against Moose at Rebellion. Alexander celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It turns out that the show is better when you can actually see the thing. This was a rather busy show with three title changes and some good matches. The ending helped a lot as Moose had no real contenders for the title, making Alexander the perfect person to bring back. Overall, the show was a good one, but not something that felt like it was a must see event. Kind of how it felt like it would be coming in.

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 3, 2022: Didn’t Really Work

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 3, 2022
Location: Alario Center, Westwego, Louisiana
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Somehow it’s already the go home show for Sacrifice and the card is mostly set. The big match on the show seems to be the Tag Team Title match as Moose defending the World Title against Heath is only so important. Odds are they will add one or two more things to the card tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Edwards vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin starts the brawl in the aisle and they slug it out, with Maclin hitting a running knee. They go inside for the opening bell and Maclin punches him right back to the floor, setting up a hard suicide dive. Back in and Eddie grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb to take over but they trade running forearms for a double knockdown. They slug it out until Maclin hits a running clothesline but Eddie catches him on top with a running boot. Maclin knocks him into the Tree of Woe and hits the spear in the corner to send Eddie outside. That means an apron elbow drop but Eddie has had it and blasts Maclin with a kendo stick for the DQ at 6:53.

Rating: C. They got clever here with the ending as you don’t want Edwards to get pinned in his first singles match as part of Honor No More but you also want to keep Maclin strong. The match was a fast paced fight too, which is where Maclin tends to do fairly well. I’m not sure where this story is going, but at least they have a bigger name on Honor No More now.

Post match Eddie keeps up the beating but Team Impact chases him off. Honor No More shows up with Maria mocking Team Impact for believing in honor. Heath calls her delusional but Vincent says that the real delusion is believing that Heath has a chance to win the World Title at Sacrifice. The challenge is on and let’s do that right now.

Vincent vs. Heath

The fans are split here as Heath grabs an early headlock. A shoulder puts Vincent into the corner as they’re still firmly in first gear. Vincent knocks him into the ropes for a change and it’s another standoff. Heath sends him into the corner and hammers away before a swinging neckbreaker gives Vincent a quick two. Matt Taven gets in a distraction from the floor and another neckbreaker drops heath again as we take a break.

Back with Vincent getting two off a Russian legsweep, which the fans declare as awesome. As I try to figure out what they define as awesome, Heath gets in a shot of his own for a breather. Vincent is right back with a guillotine choke, which is broken up with a suplex. Heath slugs away and kicks him in the face, only to get caught with a quick Redrum for two. Another Russian legsweep is loaded up but Heath reverses into the Wake Up Call for the pin at 13:03.

Rating: C. I’m not sure where the AWESOME description came from but this could have been worse. Heath gets a win for a little momentum going into his World Title shot and that was the point of this one. It is almost weird to see Heath doing well on his own, but there is something to him and he could be a fine enough singles guy for awhile to come.

Post match Honor No More comes in for the beatdown but Team Impact makes the save. With the ring mostly cleared out, Moose comes in to go after Heath but gets taken down by the Wake Up Call. Heath counts his own three.

Flashback Moment of the Week: the Motor City Machine Guns beat Beer Money and Team 3D in a triple threat.

Masha Slamovich vs. Raychell Rose

A running knee and the Russian Death Device finish Rose in 1:00.

The Guerrillas of Destiny declare it personal against Jay White. Violent By Design comes in and are ready for tonight’s main event. They want their Tag Team Title shot so the business offer is thrown out. The Guerrillas leave without saying anything.

Ace Austin, with Madman Fulton, talk to Mike Bailey, who seems interested in a partnership, but not with Fulton around.

Madison Rayne vs. Cassie Lee

Tenille Dashwood, Kaleb With A K and Jessie McKay are here too. Before the match, Dashwood puts blue tape on the floor in an X and tells Kaleb With A K to stay RIGHT THERE. Madison elbows her down to start and mocks the IInspiration’s pose. A northern lights suplex gives Madison two and we’re off to the chinlock. That’s broken up and Cassie is sent outside, where Dashwood drives her into the apron. McKay makes the save and gets sent into Kaleb With A K, who makes a nice catch. Madison isn’t happy so Lee kicks her in the head and finishes with the IInspiral (spinning suplex) at 4:15.

Rating: C-. There is something oddly charming about this story and I could go for seeing some more of it. I don’t know if the titles are going to change hands on Saturday, though that might not be the worst move. It’s almost a comedy version of Paul Heyman with Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar, which has oddly been working for me.

Video on Jake Something, who promises to win the X-Division Title at Sacrifice.

Tasha Steelz vs. Chelsea Green

The winner gets a Knockouts Title shot at Mickie James, on commentary here, at Sacrifice and Savannah Evans is here with Steelz. An early headbutt rocks Green, who is back with a running kick to the face for two. Steelz grabs a Codebreaker and stops to rub her head before choking Green in the ropes. A running elbow cuts Green down again as James and Rehwoldt keep bickering on commentary.

Green fights up and backdrops her out to the apron before a double clothesline puts both of them down. The comeback is on with Green hitting a few clotheslines into a Backstabber but I’m Prettier is broken up. Instead the delayed Downward Spiral gives Green two but Steelz is back with a Stratusfaction, which has Mickie audibly rolling her eyes. Green gets sent outside so Evans can kick her in the face, which draws Mickie to her feet. Back in and Steelz finishes with a frog splash at 8:00 for the title shot.

Rating: C. That’s a bit of a surprise and makes me think that the title is changing hands on Saturday, perhaps with Green turning on James. Steelz isn’t exactly interesting, but the division needs someone to step up and take over the title scene. Either that or Slamovich takes the title from James at some point, but that might be a bit of a risky move. Not exactly a great match, but it seemed more about storyline advancement anyway.

Post match Mickie and Tasha yell at each other.

Matt Cardona is asked for his backstage pass because the big gold belt on his shoulder isn’t enough proof. He shows people some photos of his wins and says no one respects him.

Jonah vs. Johnny Swinger

Swinger goes to the eyes, gets slammed down for his trouble, and crushed with the Tsunami for the pin at 49 seconds.

Post match Jonah loads up another Tsunami but PCO comes in for the brawl and actually clears Jonah out.

Deonna Purrazzo is ready to defend one of her titles at Sacrifice but Gisele Shaw interrupts. Shaw takes credit for Purrazzo beating Lady Frost but Purrazzo isn’t convinced. Frost comes in to say Shaw can’t answer the Champ Champ Challenge at Sacrifice because Frost vs. Shaw II is already set.

Sacrifice rundown.

Guerrillas of Destiny/Violent By Design vs. Bullet Club

That would be Deaner/Joe Doering for Violent By Design and Jay White/Chris Bey/Good Brothers for the Club. It’s a big brawl before the bell (makes sense) and the Club has to save White from a huge beatdown. Cue Scott D’Amore to say this match isn’t going to happen…as a regular match. Instead, we’ll make this No DQ so RING THE BELL! Note that D’Amore took about thirty seconds to make this announcement and not five minutes. It’s not that hard.

We take a break a few seconds after the bell and come back with Tonga Loa bringing in a chair to save his brother from the Good Brothers. Doering shrugs off White chopping away at him so White hits him in the head with a trashcan lid. The trashcan is loaded into the corner but then gets wrapped around Deaner so Bey can hit a double stomp. The brawling continues around the arena, with Tama Tonga hitting Gallows in the ribs with a baseball bat. White tries to choke Doering with a chain but gets flipped onto a trashcan.

We hit the parade of shots to the head back inside until the Guerrillas clear the ring. The Brothers save White again and the two tag teams (the brothers and the Brothers) fight to the back. We actually go split screen to watch both fights as Doering whips out a door (Tom: “Chris Bey is about to be introduced to the Forbidden Door.” Oh shut up.). Doering misses a charge into the door so Deaner makes the save with a chair. That just lets White hit a Bladerunner onto said chair to pin Deaner at 13:18.

Rating: C+. Sometimes you need to have a big brawl with people going all over the place, but at the same time, it is a little hard to get into this fight over stuff that mainly happened in Japan. Throw in the Good Brothers continuing to be such a focus and it isn’t exactly interesting material. Fun brawl, but this story needs to go somewhere, and by that I mean getting rid of Violent By Design and moving the titles already.

We cut to the back where the Guerrillas and the Brothers are still brawling, with the Brothers being chased off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Impact is in a weird place as they are trying to build up Sacrifice, but it just isn’t that interesting of a show. Nothing really stands out as the top match on the card, as Heath vs. Moose isn’t exactly a show stealer and more of the Good Brothers isn’t going to make it work either. There are some good pieces there and this show was far from bad, but it isn’t the kind of show that made me want to see Sacrifice any more than I did coming in.

Results
Steve Maclin b. Eddie Edwards via DQ when Edwards used a kendo stick
Heath b. Vincent – Wake Up Call
Masha Slamovich b. Raychell Rose – Russian Death Device
Cassie Lee b. Madison Rayne – IInspiral
Tasha Steelz b. Chelsea Green – Frog splash
Jonah b. Johnny Swinger – Tsunami
Bullet Club b. Violent By Design/Guerrillas of Destiny – Bladerunner onto a chair to Deaner

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 1, 2007: That’s Going To Be A Problem

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 1, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and the show is mostly together. The big story continues to be John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title, but we also seem to have the issues between Vince McMahon and HHH. The latter of those feuds comes to a head tonight as the two of them are facing off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon to get things going, with three not so high level looking wrestlers in the ring with him. Vince hypes up his main event with HHH and promises to win. We see a clip of Vince beating up HHH in various ways before Vince turns his attention to the three guys in the ring. Each one represents a different fighting style, starting with a four time All American amateur wrestler, followed by a fifth degree kempo karate black belt and finally, the Ohio sumo champion (no one seems convinced).

Vince offers to face all of them, only to have someone else do it as a preview for what is going to happen to HHH at No Mercy. Cue the returning Umaga to destroy all three of them, with Vince looking rather pleased. Umaga beats them up even more for a bonus and Vince’s happiness rises.

Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

London hurricanranas Murdoch down to start and hands it off to Kendrick. That means a gutbuster from Cade to take over, with Murdoch coming back in for a splash. A dropkick gets Kendrick out of trouble though and it’s Hardy coming in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and the Whisper in the Wind hits Cade but Hardy gets crotched on top. London hits a very out of nowhere dive and throws Murdoch back inside for Sliced Bread from Kendrick. Hardy drops the Swanton for the pin on Cade.

Rating: C+. It was a short match but they packed a lot into there, which is more than I would have expected. Hardy, London and Kendrick seem like three guys who would work well together as the high flying trio while the other three…well they’re feuding with the good guys so it makes sense to have them here. I’m not sure how much more you can get out of Benjamin vs. Hardy though, as Hardy needs some fresh competition.

Vince McMahon comes in to see William Regal and welcomes him back before praising Regal for making Mr. Kennedy vs. John Cena for tonight’s main event. He also asks Regal for a personal favor: take care of Hornswoggle tonight. Regal reluctantly agrees as Hornswoggle pops up. Vince leaves….and Regal has already lost Hornswoggle.

Randy Orton joins us via satellite and we see him Punting John Cena’s father a few weeks ago and then hitting him with an RKO two weeks ago. Orton promises to leave Cena laying the same way at No Mercy.

Some Cleveland Indians are here. That was a good year for the team so we’ll call that an upgrade.

The Diva Search girls ran an obstacle course on the beach.

William Regal goes looking for Hornswoggle and runs into the Highlanders. They haven’t seen Hornswoggle, but Regal wants to know why they turned down a match with Paul London and Brian Kendrick. Rory explains that it’s because they only want a Tag Team Title shot, which leaves Regal continuing his Hornswoggle search.

Hardcore Holly vs. Cody Rhodes

Rematch from last week when the returning Holly beat Rhodes without much trouble. Rhodes starts fast but gets shouldered down. Back up and Rhodes grabs an armbar but gets dropkicked for two. A small package gives Rhodes two so he tries to jump over Holly in the corner, earning himself an Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Here is Beth Phoenix for a chat and she would like Lilian Garcia to stay in the ring with her. Beth promises to win the Women’s Title on Sunday and wants Lilian to practice announcing her as the winner tonight. Lilian does, but throws in a caveat about how Phoenix has to actually win on Sunday. Phoenix literally goes for her throat but Candice Michelle runs in for the save.

SAVE_US video, now with some fresh codes, including things such as “Tron image”, “GRAND_SLAM” and “8.2.11/SAVIOR_SELF”, the latter of which is featured several times.

Vince McMahon vs. HHH

Before the match, Vince shows us a clip of HHH attacking Umaga with a chair and the sledgehammer last week to send him into a steroid suspension. HHH comes out but Vince cuts off his entrance pre-corner pose and says let’s go. Hold on though as there is no referee, so here is Carlito to be the guest referee.

Carlito does the weapons check, allowing Vince to slap HHH in the face. The bell rings and Vince immediately hides in the ropes, with Carlito covering him up. Vince bails to the floor so the chase is on, with HHH finally going around the other side to catch Vince on the floor. The Pedigree is broken up with a Backstabber so HHH hits Carlito low, which is enough for the DQ.

Post match HHH stays on Vince but here is Umaga for the fight. HHH hits a DDT, which has the expected results. A superkick sends HHH into the corner and there’s the running hip attack. Umaga stops to yell at Carlito so HHH pulls out the sledgehammer to scare Umaga off.

And now Marella At The Movies, featuring Santino Marella and Maria, though she doesn’t seem thrilled to be here. This week they are going to review The Condemned, which Maria thought was fun. Marella says it was fun if you like having your head bashed in with a mallet. He should have been the star, meaning it’s time for a clip with Santino included.

Cue Val Venis to interrupt (this seems to get Maria’s attention), but Santino doesn’t think much of Venis’ acting. He couldn’t believe what Venis did to that donkey in the Shrek based film. Venis offers Maria a spot in his next movie and the beatdown is on with Venis’ leg getting destroyed. I continue to be astounded that Venis is still employed.

John Cena doesn’t think much of the idea that THEY are saying he is going to lose to Randy Orton. It is time to talk about THEY, who know that Cena is losing and that he has changed and that Todd Grisham has naked pictures of Umaga on his phone. At No Mercy, Orton can hit him with everything from a bell to a microphone to a snow cone to a student loan but Cena will keep getting up every time. You put anyone in front of him and he will always get up and never quit, so let them talk. He’s going to beat Orton so bad that THEY are never going to forget it.

Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina wins a battle over the lockup to start and they go to the mat with Melina kicking away. Mickie fights up and hits some hard forearms but Melina kicks her in the head for two. The screaming reverse DDT is loaded up but Hornswoggle pops up from under the ring for a distraction. The freaked out Melina gets rolled up for the pin.

Post match Hornswoggle chases Melina underneath the ring and comes out with Melina’s clothes. Hornswoggle runs off, leaving Melina screaming. This was bad back then and it doesn’t hold up well here.

Post break, William Regal yells at Hornswoggle over what happened but Steve-O (from Jackass, and starring in a new upcoming USA series), comes in. Steve-O is here to find a wuss (point of his show), and the distraction lets Hornswoggle leave.

No Mercy rundown.

Steve-O comes in to see Ron Simmons, suggesting that he can make Simmons be less of a wuss. Simmons literally throws him out and hits the catchphrase.

John Cena vs. Mr. Kennedy

Non-title. Before the match, Kennedy talks about how he is going to make a statement by beating Cena. Kennedy grabs a headlock to start and then shoulders him down but Cena is back up with a hiptoss. The armbar goes on but Kennedy gets up, only to get driven into the corner. Kennedy fights out of the corner and punches Cena down before taking him outside for a whip into the steps. We take a break and come back with Kennedy grabbing a chinlock to keep Cena in trouble. Cena fights up and grabs a suplex, setting p the STFU for the very fast tap.

Rating: C. The ending was very quick and there is a reason for that. Cena tore his pectoral muscle when he gave Kennedy the hiptoss, making this a one on one match. There is only so much that can be done when you’re wrestling with one arm and while Cena did what he could, the match wasn’t very good as a result. Kennedy carried it as well as he could, even with the very sudden finish.

Post match Randy Orton runs in, apparently guilty of satellite fraud, and lays out Cena. The steps to the face set up an RKO onto the announcers’ table, with Orton counting to ten as Cena is out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was the big final push towards no Mercy and it only went so well. The biggest problem is that Orton vs. Cena has been set up for several weeks now and there is only so much that they can get out of one more week of building. The HHH vs. Umaga match had to get a last second build and that worked fine, as the match was already set up a month ago. The rest of the show was only ok, though the Cena situation is going to cause some problems.

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 17, 2022: All The Right Pieces

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 17, 2022
Location: Charles Dodge Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for No Surrender and the show is looking good. We have a double main event of W. Morrissey challenging Moose for the World Title, plus Honor No More fighting Team Impact to stick around the company. There is enough other good stuff here to make me interested in the show so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Moose (meaning no opening sequence, which is a shame as this show has a catchy theme song) for the No Surrender contract signing. Scott D’Amore is in the ring but before W. Morrissey comes out, Moose explains what a contract signing means (I think it’s pretty clear). There is no Morrissey for some reason, but D’Amore says Morrissey can sign the contract any time in the next two days.

Moose isn’t happy, but if Morrissey makes the match, pain is waiting on him. He signs and then goes to leave, where Morrissey jumps him on the ramp. The fight is on and Moose gets chokeslammed off the stage and through a well placed table. Now Morrissey signs the contract as Moose is left laying.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

The Bullet Club is ready for tonight but they’re looking forward to No Surrender as well, where they’re going to win the Tag Team Titles and get closer to the X-Division Title. Jay White finds if funny that Eric Young is trying to make his own Bullet Club but maybe he can join the real one. Maybe Young can do some laundry, or maybe White can just take him out at No Surrender. Too Sweeting ensues.

Masha Slamovich vs. Kiah Dream

Masha gives her a free shot and then hits a Burning Hammer. Dream gets pulled up at two so the Russian Doomsday Device can finish her at 47 seconds. That worked.

Ace Austin vs. Blake Christian vs. Laredo Kid

The winner is in the No Surrender X-Division Title #1 contenders match and Madman Fulton is here with Austin. Kid and Christian knock Austin down to start and trade dropkicks until Kid gets him into the corner. Austin is back up to send Kid outside and kick Christian in the head. Christian sends Austin outside but the suicide dive bounces off of Fulton’s back. A dropkick knocks Austin off the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Austin getting two on Kid and then stomping away. Christian gets stomped down as well but Kid is back up with a running knee to Austin. The three moonsaults are broken up by Christian, who puts them both down and hits a split legged moonsault for two on Kid. A big flip dive to the floor sets up a double reverse DDT to leave Christian as the only one up. Another dive takes out Fulton but Kid plants Christian with a poisonrana back inside. The frog splash gets two but Austin makes the save. Christian’s Spanish Fly gets two on Austin, who is right back up with the Fold to finish Christian at 12:05.

Rating: B-. I know it’s a simple idea and something that has been done for years, but just having the X-Division go out there and do their thing for ten or so minutes is always going to work. They’re crazy athletic and know exactly how to do this kind of a match, which made for a rather entertaining spectacle here. Yeah it’s a bunch of spots going a hundred miles an hour, but dang does it still work.

Decay doesn’t think much of humans, especially Jonah.

The IInspiration come in to see Kaleb With A K and thank him for those photos he took of them last week. He was the best they ever had and they seem to offer him a job.

Lady Frost vs. Gisele Shaw

This is Shaw’s debut. The fans are behind Frost as Shaw shoves her in the face. Frost flips over her and hits a dropkick to the back before something like a Cannonball gives Frost two. Shaw is right back with a hanging DDT out of the corner for two more and a big right hand rocks Frost again. A running knee to the back of the head gives Shaw two more but Frost kicks her down again. The Temperature Drop moonsault gives Frost two but she takes too much time loading up another one. That means a super Spanish Fly can bring Frost back down and a corkscrew Vader Bomb finishes Frost at 4:39.

Rating: C+. Frost got in a lot here but Shaw wasn’t exactly looking nervous, which seems to fit in well for her. That being said, it isn’t like there was much to see here and Shawn only stood out so much. I’m not about to pretend that a four and a half minute match is enough to make an opinion on someone, but this was a nice enough start.

Honor No More’s Kenny King is ready to make Chris Sabin bend the knee tonight.

Deonna Purrazzo isn’t worried about Mickie James because she is the champ champ rather than just the champ. Anyone who wants a shot at either of her titles can come get it at No Surrender.

Kenny King vs. Chris Sabin

Honor No More is here, as is Team Impact, minus Steve Maclin. They go technical to start as Ian Riccaboni (on commentary) explains what you should expect from King (which he does rather well). King is sent outside for a quick meeting with Honor No More but Sabin stomps on Matt Taven’s fingers to cut him off. Back in and King hits a powerslam for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. The knee in Sabin’s back makes it even worse so he gets to the ropes without much trouble.

King kicks him in the head for two and the reverse chinlock goes right back on. Sabin fights out of that too and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. Back up again and this time it’s Sabin hitting a running boot in the corner, setting up a tornado DDT for two. King grabs a spinebuster for a breather, which has Honor No More talking to Riccaboni even more. A tiger driver gives King two more but the Royal Flush is countered into a crucifix to give Sabin the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Another case where these two work well together because they are talented wrestlers who work styles that mesh. King is still very athletic and Sabin can wrestle a good match against anyone while still having the ability to keep up in any match. Good stuff here, as Team Impact gets a win to keep things even.

Post match Maria says that Honor No More is a team but they didn’t take out Jonathan Gresham, suggesting that someone on Team Impact did.

Post break, Team Impact isn’t sure what to do and seems to accuse Steve Maclin as he comes in. Maclin gives them a unifying pep talk and the team is in.

Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans vs. Chelsea Green/Mickie James

Green starts with Steelz, who tags out almost immediately, as you might have expected. Evans gets rolled up for two and send into the corner to make it worse. Mickie comes in for some knee lifts, setting up a hurricanrana out of the corner a neckbreaker for two. It’s back to Green for a Natural Selection for two on Steelz but Evans shoves her off the top.

We take a break and come back with Green fighting out of a chinlock and rolling Steelz up for two. The choking in the corner cuts Green off again but she is up in a hurry for the hot tag off to James. Some clotheslines have Steelz rocked and the Mick Kick gets two. Everything breaks down and the Mick Kick/MickieDT put Evans down, only to have Steelz hit a crucifix bomb to finish James at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not the most exciting match here but it was designed to have Steelz get some momentum going into a title match that does not have the most drama. That is something that can be done well enough with something like this and it should be fine for Saturday. James is a far bigger star than Steelz so the win should help her a bit, even if the title doesn’t seem to be in serious jeopardy.

It’s time for the final chapter of Brian Myers’ How To Be A Professional, with Myers yelling at VSK and Zicky Dice for letting him get beaten up by W. Morrissey last week. The Learning Tree is done and the two of them are cut.

Here’s what’s coming at No Surrender.

Violent By Design vs. Bullet Club

That would be Eric Young/Deaner/Joe Doering vs. Guerrillas of Destiny/Jay White, with the rest of both teams here too. Young and White start things off with neither being able to get very far. An exchange of chops in the corner goes nowhere so White drags him over to the corner for the tag to Tama Tonga. Deaner comes in as well and gets taken down so Doering comes in, only to get triple teamed in the corner.

The Guerrillas double clothesline him to the floor and Violent By Design needs a breather on the floor. We take a break and come back with Doering covering Tama Tonga for two and handing it off to Young. Tama Tonga can’t quite get over for the hot tag so Doering is there with a crossbody for two. Some elbows get Tama Tong out of a fireman’s carry and it’s off to Tonga Loa for the Doering showdown.

They collide a few times and shout at each other a lot so we’ll try Young vs. White instead. The rapid fire chops rock Young in the corner and everything breaks down. The Guerrillas give Doering a Magic Killer but Young saves Deaner from the same. Young’s top rope elbow gets two on White but Young gets sent outside. That leaves Deaner to take a 3D into a top rope headbutt into a frog splash to give Tonga Loa the pin at 13:39.

Rating: C+. Pretty good main event here, as the Bullet Club continues to look more and more dominant every single week. White is starting to come off like the star that he was in New Japan and the Guerrillas are some of the scariest people in all of wrestling. Violent By Design might not be the best competition, but at least they have a reputation around here.

The Good Brothers come out for a staredown with the Guerrillas to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another solid show this week as they have put the pieces in the right place to make for an entertaining two hours. What makes this show work is that there are a lot of entertaining parts. You have the World Title, the Bullet Club, Honor No More, the various women’s stories and more. It makes for a good, balanced show and that is what makes this work. Things are getting better around here and No Surrender has my attention, so nice job.

Results
Masha Slamovich b. Kiah Dream – Russian Death Machine
Ace Austin b. Blake Christian and Laredo Kid – Fold to Christian
Gisele Shaw b. Lady Frost – Corkscrew Vader Bomb
Chris Sabin b. Kenny King – Rollup
Tasha Steel/Savannah Evans b. Chelsea Green/Mickie James – Crucifix bomb to James
Bullet Club b. Violent By Design – Frog splash to Deaner

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 17, 2007 (2022 Redo): Adoption Issues

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2007
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the waste of time that was Unforgiven and now it is time to start getting ready for No Mercy. Last night’s show was so important that they have already announced the main event for next month’s pay per view. John Cena got disqualified against Randy Orton, so it’s time for a Last Man Standing match for Cena’s title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena vs. Randy Orton, with Cena snapping over Orton attacking Cena’s father.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena knows he hasn’t been himself lately and he wants to say he is sorry. Tonight he is better though and he feels FABULOUS. It feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders because he lost to Randy Orton! Last night his dad had the guts to show up and make him the proudest son in the world. Orton is stupid enough to think this is over and want a rematch. Then there is Coach, who made it even worse for Orton by giving him a Last Man Standing match at No Mercy.

That means no rules, no pinfalls and no disqualifications, so what he did last night is perfectly legal. At No Mercy, he is going through Orton like a hot knife through butter….but here is Coach to interrupt. Coach says that Cena should be glad he still has a job after last night, so tonight it’s payback time. Tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena, which works rather well for the champ. Hold on though, because Coach didn’t mean this Cena, but rather Cena’s dad, who can either have the match or have Cena stripped of the title.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and gets caught in a northern lights suplex just after the bell. An atomic drop sets up the legdrop between the legs to put Benjamin down though and Hardy takes over. There’s an armdrag into an armbar and they fight over a top wristlock. A backdrop puts Benjamin on the apron and there’s a kick to the chest to put him outside. Hardy hits the required dive to take Benjamin down again and we take a break.

Back with Benjamin working on a neck crank (with the replay showing Hardy missing the Whisper in the Wind and getting kicked in the head) before pounding away in the corner. A neckbreaker gives Benjamin two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up as well and it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. Now the Whisper in the Wind can work but Benjamin grabs a backbreaker for two more. A reverse DDT gets the same so Benjamin puts him on top, only to get shoved down. The Swanton retains Jeff’s title.

Rating: C+. You knew these two were going to be able to have a good match with each other due to pure talent and it was a completely fine TV title defense for Hardy. It’s a way to get Hardy back on track after he got squashed by Khali last week so this was about as fine of a way as he had to be back to normal again.

The Diva Search finalists play beach volleyball. I think you get the idea here. In case you didn’t, there is a limbo competition on WWE.com.

Coach joins an annoyed Vince McMahon in his limo to try and calm him down. Vince is annoyed about Hornswoggle….who is in the limo also, eating Lucky Charms and restrained by tape because he’s an infant. How we didn’t hear Hornswoggle until the camera was on him is not clear, but Coach takes him inside (biting ensues).

John Cena tries to talk his dad out of wrestling tonight but Cena’s dad insists on doing it.

Santino knocks on the Divas locker room door, looking for Maria, but finding Jillian Hall instead. Maria wanted to see the Condemned, even though Steve Austin’s performance was worse than Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards. Jillian: “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!” Santino wants to impress Maria so Jillian suggests a country duet together (Nashville and all). She starts a little Achy Breaky Heart and Santino agrees to save his ears. Don’t worry either, as he has another idea.

Vince McMahon is still yelling at Coach but they hear Irish music coming from Vince’s office. The office is now filled with green balloons and shamrocks, plus piles of Lucky Charms. Vince: “THIS IS ON YOU!” Hornswoggle pops up so Coach chases him off as a unicorn pops up to scare Vince.

Jim Duggan vs. Daivari

Flag match because reasons. Daivari goes for the flag to start but gets pulled back down. They take turns pulling the others to the mat until Daivari gets crotched on top. Duggan punches him down, then sends him into the post and pulls down the flag for the win.

Cody Rhodes volunteers to take John Cena’s dad’s place against Randy Orton but Coach turns him down. John Cena comes in and threatens Coach, who gives Cena a match tonight. If Cena wins, his dad is off the hook, but if not, the match is still on.

Here is Vince McMahon for a chat. As you might have seen last week, he has indeed fathered a son in Hornswoggle, who comes out doing a jig. Vince kneels down next to Hornswoggle and says that when he dies, Hornswoggle will get a lot of money. Hornswoggle: “Money money!” Vince has some papers with him tonight….because he is putting Hornswoggle up for adoption!

Cue a couple (Ed and Alice Koskey) with their attorney but Hornswoggle hugs Vince. That doesn’t sit well with the boss, so Hornswoggle pulls down Ed’s pants and bites the back of Alice’s dress. The Koskeys run off so Vince gets serious and tells him to get away from him. Vince throws him out and the fans are not happy with him. He insists that anyone here would have done the same thing but here is HHH to interrupt.

HHH takes credit for decorating Vince’s office earlier, which was difficult because it’s hard to find a unicorn around here. He knew Vince had slept with some trolls, but he didn’t know about elves, fairies and hobgoblins. Vince: “I’VE NEVER SLEPT WITH FAIRIES!” HHH: “That’s not what I read on the internet.” HHH thinks the Genetic Jackhammer had too much genetic Jack Daniels and now he’s a genetic jackass.

It isn’t surprising though, because he is short tempered, short sighted and a certain part of him is microscopic. Vince: “Are you finished?” HHH: “That’s the same thing Hornswoggle’s mom asked you the night you slipped her the shillelagh.” Just between them, did they do it on the Yellow Brick Road? Vince is livid, but one more question: was she magically delicious? Vince puts him in a match right now, which I believe had been mentioned earlier.

HHH vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title. Joined in progress with HHH clotheslining them down as Carlito comes out to watch. We settle down to Cade hitting a neckbreaker for two as we’ll be having tags in this one. Murdoch comes in and pounds away in the corner, setting up a Blockbuster for two. Cade grabs the neck crank before switching to a leg lariat for two. HHH fights up without much trouble though, knocks Murdoch off the apron, and finishes Cade with the spinebuster.

Rating: C-. I know it’s HHH, but beating the Tag Team Champions on your own so quickly isn’t exactly the easiest thing to see. It would be nice if there were some other villains who could have taken this spot but that isn’t how the tag team division works. This was about having HHH break a sweat before we get to continue the epic HHH vs. Carlito feud. I’m sure there are twelve people out there who want to see it keep going.

Post match Carlito, Cade and Murdoch stomp HHH down but Paul London and Brian Kendrick make the save. Cade and Murdoch leave so Carlito gets Pedigreed. HHH isn’t sure what to think….and Pedigrees both of them.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Melina/Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is at ringside. Mickie and Melina lock up to start until a neckbreaker takes Melina down. Jillian shoves Mickie off the top though and gets to come in to toss Mickie down by the hair. That’s about it for Mickie being in trouble though and she gets over for the tag off to Candice. House is cleaned and the Candy Wrapper finishes Jillian in short order.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes in to glare at Candice.

The Condemned is on DVD tomorrow.

Vince McMahon is leaving and recaps the night, with Coach saying no one has seen Hornswoggle since Vince yelled at him. With that, Vince gets in his limo to leave, with Hornswoggle popping out of the trunk.

John Cena vs. ???

Non-title and if Cena wins, his dad is out of the match with Randy Orton. The opponent is….Santino Marella, which has Cena wondering if this is serious. So Santino is doing this to impress Maria, but Coach agreed to it? Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle but Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena for the DQ.

Post match Orton handcuffs him to the ropes. Cue Coach to say that the match is still on, because Cena had to win the match by pinfall. That feels like a quick correction for Orton hitting the wrong person.

Randy Orton vs. Mr. Cena

For reasons I don’t want to fathom, Orton went backstage during the break and does a full entrance here. John Cena is still on the floor and handcuffed to the bottom rope. The bell rings so Orton knocks him down and starts the stomping while looking down at Cena on the floor. The beating continues until Cody Rhodes runs in for the DQ.

Post match Orton sends Rhodes into the steps and RKO’s Mr. Cena. With his dad down, Cena unhooks the turnbuckle to escape and chases Orton off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Outside of Vince now having a son and interacting with him, this felt like a show where almost nothing changed. Cena still wants to wreck Orton for what he did to his dad, HHH is still tormenting Vince and….what else is there here? It isn’t a bad show, but it seems like everything is in a holding pattern until everyone gets back from their suspensions. Understandable, but it isn’t making things easy to watch.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 10, 2007: The Reveal

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2007
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the big reveal as this week will see the reveal of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. This is the kind of story that feels like it should be a huge moment, with Mr. Kennedy feeling like the likely surprise, but that pesky steroids suspension seems to be throwing a wrench into the plans. That should open up a new door too, so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting fast because here is Vince McMahon, with Coach, to get things going. Vince recaps the story, saying that he has an illegitimate son and that he is a “WWO” (Vince: “Let me try that again.”) superstar. Vince blames the mother for causing all of these problems before informing the fans that Coach DOES NOT suck. The only thing that makes Vince feel better is that his son isn’t from Green Bay, like Mr. Kennedy, who is on the current WWE Magazine. Vince happens to have a copy, which he has Coach rip up.

Enough of that though, as Vince wants to know who his son is, which brings out Great Khali. Runjin Singh translates for Great Khali, who said that “things are looking up” must mean him and he would be proud to be called The Great McMahon. Cue JBL to interrupt to talk about how he and Vince both love money. JBL: “Put Big Gulp on a leash.” Even in this market, he can guarantee and things are looking up. Vince owns wrestling and JBL is a wrestling god. They even go to the same barber!

He would love to be John Bradshaw McMahon but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt this time. Coach: “What are you doing out here?” Jeff: “I’m not really sure.” Jeff thinks “things are looking up” might mean him diving off the ladder, but he certainly hopes he isn’t the son. JBL yells about Hardy and Khali’s hair, but here is Mr. Johnson, the son’s mother’s lawyer.

Vince goes into a rant about how much he hates attorneys before being told his son will be revealed at some point tonight. For now, the only thing Johnson will reveal is that Vince’s son is NOT Jeff Hardy. Jeff: “PRAISE THE LORD YEAH!” That celebration earns Jeff a singles match with Great Khali later tonight.

We see some photos of the South African tour, including Paul London and Brian Kendrick winning the Tag Team Titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, only to lose them back three days later.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade

Brian Kendrick and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Cade headlocks him down to start so London pops up with a hurricanrana. A belly to back suplex drops London right back down and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either as London is up with a springboard missile dropkick. Murdoch tries to offer a distraction….but it lets Kendrick come in for Sliced Bread. London adds the running shooting star press for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and it was a way to bridge the feud to Sunday. I like the title switches on the tour as it gave this feud a bit of life, as otherwise it was just London and Kendrick getting another title shot. You can only get so far when there is no chance of a title switch and now they gave the thing a bit more interest.

We recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s dad two weeks ago, sending Cena over the edge with an attack on William Regal last week. As a result, Cena is barred from the building this week.

Coach tells Vince McMahon that William Regal is doing better but has a lot of recovering to do. As a result, Coach has banned John Cena from the building tonight, which Vince doesn’t like. Coach has another idea though, as he brings in the man who the fans have voted as the second most likely star to be Vince’s son: Stevie Richards! Vince cracks up laughing and sends Stevie away before asking Coach who was #1 in the audience vote. That would be HHH, which doesn’t sit well with Vince.

We look back at HHH beating up Carlito and REALLY beating up Umaga.

Carlito is ready to destroy HHH on Sunday at Unforgiven. As for tonight, Carlito is full of surprises.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito is at ringside. HHH wins an early slugout and sends him shoulder first into the post. It works so well that HHH does it again before throwing Shelton into Carlito. We take a break and come back with HHH fighting out of a chinlock but getting DDTed for two. The chinlock goes on again so HHH fights up again, only to get caught with the spinning clothesline from the top. HHH’s standing clothesline connects to put both of them down for a breather. Back up and HHH hits a spinebuster, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more like the old school Benjamin and that is a very good thing to see. It’s great to have him showing off his offense and he looked like his old self here. That being said, he was little more than cannon fodder for HHH, which isn’t a big surprise. Nice match here, as HHH continues to get back to normal.

Post match Carlito goes after HHH but gets cut off. Cue Coach to say Vince McMahon is sick of HHH being disrespectful. Therefore, Carlito vs. HHH at Unforgiven is now No DQ….for Carlito only.

A car arrives and since it isn’t John Cena’s, he can roll right in.

Here is Randy Orton, with security, for a chat. Orton knows John Cena is watching at home, maybe with his dad. If that is the case, he needs to turn the volume down because his dad’s head must be throbbing. This Sunday at Unforgiven, it is one year since Cena won the WWE Title. Orton is in Cena’s head though and he is going to use that opening to take Cena down. Cue Cena through the crowd to get his hands on Orton but security holds him back so Orton can escape.

In the back, Vince McMahon yells at Coach for not keeping Cena out. Cue security, who still can’t hold Cena back. Cena gets in Vince’s face and says, as a man, that he knows what is happening to Orton at Unforgiven. Orton is going to feel pain and vengeance in his bones for Cena’s father. That is something even Vince can understand, and with that, Cena leaves.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Mickie flips out of an early snapmare attempt but gets whipped into the corner. That means a handspring elbow connects to give Jillian two as Candice talks about facing Beth Phoenix. Jillian pulls her down hard out of the corner and seems to rub Mickie’s face into her chest. Apparently it wakes Mickie up enough to kick Jillian in the head for the pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take both of them out so Candice runs in for the failed save attempt.

Sandman vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Santino mourns the loss of Luciano Pavarotti, but at least he passed away before he had to see Steve Austin in the Condemned. Santino doesn’t understand this lack of culture but Sandman’s entrance cuts him off. Once Sandman gets rid of the kendo stick, Santino starts pounding him down and goes after the leg. A splash hits raised knees though and Sandman knocks him outside. That means a big dive (there’s a surprise) from Sandman but Marella uses the kendo stick for the DQ.

Post match Santino tries to break the stick over his own knee but hurts himself. Sandman gets the cage to chase him off.

Post break Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about Santino being so different lately. She thinks they might need to split up but here is Santino to jump Simmons. Santino even does Simmons’ catchphrase, which should signal his doom.

The Diva Search is coming back. Great. We get the first look at the finalists, including Eve Torres, Taryn Terrell and Lena Yada.

Unforgiven rundown.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Khali throws him into the corner to start for the elbow to the face. The Whisper in the Wind is knocked away and Khali hits a big boot. The Vice Grip finishes Hardy in a hurry. Your Intercontinental Champion everyone.

Post match here is Batista to spear Khali down without much effort.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for the big reveal, with the male roster surrounding the ring as well. HHH comes out last and Vince isn’t exactly pleased. Vince knows that one of these men is his son and wants to know who gets to be a McMahon. He wants to know who it is right now but here is Mr. Johnson on the Titantron. In accordance with his client’s wishes, he is going to eliminate some of the possible names.

First up, the son is not extreme, meaning ECW is out. Vince: “Thank God it’s not Balls Mahoney.” The son also has a fondness for gold, meaning he is a current or former champion. Next up is that the son’s skin is fair, which Vince (rather rapidly) points out means he is Caucasian. Vince has everyone left get in the ring, as he is told that the son’s hair is fair as well.

That leaves us with Sandman, JBL, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch and HHH, though the fans want Kennedy (not here). Vince shoots that down before giving us the next clue: “Individual.” That takes Vince some time to figure out but it means he isn’t a tag wrestler. The final clue: the son loves to play the game.

That seems to leave HHH, who isn’t happy either. Vince says this isn’t right, with Johnson agreeing. The son loves to play games, such as hide and seek or marbles….because it’s HORNSWOGGLE! HHH nearly falls over in laughter as Hornswoggle pops out, grabs Vince’s leg, and puts his hat on Vince’s head to end the show.

So there’s your big reveal. After several weeks, we get Hornswoggle as the big gag blowoff, which was disappointing back in the day and it’s disappointing now. This time it isn’t WWE’s fault as the Kennedy suspension blew up what could have been a career making story, but ultimately there is only so much that can be done when the key player is gone. Hornswoggle was a bit funny and there is some good comedy potential, but it feels like it could have been so much more.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ALL about the big angle at the end, with the wrestling being a complete afterthought. That made for a weird show, as Unforgiven took a backseat as well, leaving the pay per view without much of a final push and the big story with a pretty lame resolution. Again, it isn’t WWE’s fault this time, but it is still pretty disappointing.

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 10, 2022: Stop Making Me Want To Watch This

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 10, 2022
Location: Charles Dodge Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re almost up to No Surrender and the card is starting to look good. What makes things all the better is that the entire show has been working in the last few weeks. The Bullet Club is here and seems to be going after the Tag Team Titles, which is better than putting them near the top of the card. Other than that, Honor No More continues to look interesting and I want to know where they’re going in the long run. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at W. Morrissey attacking Moose on the way to their World Title match.

Opening sequence.

Here is Josh Alexander for a chat, but first he has to soak in some WALKING WEAPON chants. He isn’t about to let Impact Wrestling go to war against Honor No More without him so he’ll be there at No Surrender. That isn’t the only match at No Surrender, as W. Morrissey is going for the World Title against Moose. While he’s going to war, he’s next in line for whoever comes out of No Surrender with the title. Cue Big Kon (Konner of Ascension fame) to interrupt so Alexander says he’ll do this right now. Kon didn’t even say anything. Maybe he wanted to sell some Girl Scout cookies.

Josh Alexander vs. Big Kon

Alexander beats him up in the corner and wins with the ankle lock in 40 seconds.

Post match the ankle lock stays on until Alexander lets go to beat up security. Cue Scott D’Amore for the save, but Alexander shoves him down too. Alexander knows he screwed up so D’Amore talks about their history together. D’Amore remembers him showing up at the Team Canada dojo as a kid still wet behind the ears. Then one of his best friends told him that she had met the one, and that was Alexander.

D’Amore has been there for almost every major event of Alexander’s life, including signing with Impact. Then he became the World Champion, so what does D’Amore want? Alexander gets serious and says he wants his coach instead of the boss. All he can think of is looking at his wife and son crying because he was never able to put the World Title on.

D’Amore says it’s a process to get back to his rematch but Alexander doesn’t want to hear that. That’s too far for D’Amore, who takes Alexander out of No Surrender and sends him home. Alexander: “I AM HOME!” Well that escalated quickly, but it’s amazing to see what kind of a star Alexander has become. At the same time, D’Amore is sounding ridiculous, as Alexander got to the World Title shot at Bound For Glory, lost to an instant cash in, and has run through everyone else since. Why isn’t he getting a title shot?

Post break, Steve Maclin offers to take Alexander’s place at No Surrender. Scott D’Amore says he’s letting Team Impact pick the replacement.

Here’s what’s coming tonight and at No Surrender.

Deonna Purrazzo comes out and we have an open challenge for either of her Women’s Titles.

Ring of Honor Women’s Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Santana Garrett

Garrett is the surprise challenger. They trade the rollups to start but Purrazzo isn’t interested in a handshake. Instead, she sends Garrett to the apron and then knocks her into the barricade a we take a break. Back with Purrazzo staying on the arm but Garrett starts firing off some running forearms. Something close to a Muta Lock sends Purrazzo crawling to the ropes before she switches into a Koji Clutch. That’s broken up as well and Garrett kicks her in the face. Garrett goes up, only to dive into the Fujiwara armbar. She manages to spin out for half a second but Purrazzo pulls her into a rollup to retain at 9:33.

Rating: C+. It was nice while it lasted, but you knew they weren’t going to have Purrazzo lose one of her titles to a newcomer here. Odds are she is in for a big showdown with James sooner than later and racking up wins is a good thing for her. Then there is Garrett, who keeps bouncing around from one company to another (including this one before her time in NXT) but never makes a big impact. I’m not sure why, but she was little more than cannon fodder here.

Team Impact wants to pick Jonathan Gresham, but they might want to talk to him first.

Mickie James vs. Chelsea Green

Non-title with Tasha Steelz on commentary. They fight over a lockup to start until Green works on a wristlock. Mickie does it again as commentary turns into an argument over the New England Patriots. A headlock frustrates Green but she slips out, meaning Mickie needs to bail outside. Steelz: “MAKE DONOVAN (Mickie’s son) PROUD!” Chelsea uses the distraction to hit a baseball slide, followed by a cutter back inside. Steelz says that is HER move and throws trash at Green. Cue Savannah Evans to trip Green for the DQ at 3:56.

Rating: C. This was little more than storyline advancement as Steelz continues to annoy James before their title match. I’m curious to see where Green goes in the story, which seems to have some legs after the No Surrender title match. They’re building something up here and that is a great thing to see.

Bhupinder Gujjar is proud to be here after leaving his family to come here. Cue Raj Singh but Gujjar walks away.

The IIconics come up to Kaleb With A K and try to get him to take their photos. Madison Rayne comes up and she isn’t happy. The IIconics leave so Madison yells at him.

Here is Bullet Club for a chat. Jay White says he is back and this time he has brought his friends. Tama Tonga brags about the Guerrillas of Destiny’s success and says they’re coming for the Impact Tag Team Titles. Then there is Violent By Design, because the Good Brothers want their own group.

Cue Violent By Design, with Eric Young saying this is a family instead of a bunch of guys trying to do what was cool ten years ago. White laughs off the idea and lists off everything he has done. Young can face him at No Surrender, but Young says let’s do a six man next week. The fight is teased for now but here are the Good Brothers to interrupt.

The Brothers would appreciate a thank you for everything the Club is enjoying but Tama Tonga laughs it off. Anderson says that they have dominated every company with letters that matters, but Tama says it’s because they keep getting fired. There were some bombs being thrown in there and it was pretty good stuff.

Jonathan Gresham has been attacked.

We look at Matt Cardona turning heel to take the Digital Media Title from Jordynne Grace last week.

Cardona talks about how he was screwed out of the World Title last month. No one apologized to him, so he knew he needed to do something different this year. He has been in the ring with everyone and Grace was his toughest opponent ever. She has a rematch for No Surrender, so she better be ready.

Matt Taven/Mike Bennett vs. Rhino/Rich Swann

The rest of Honor No More and Team Impact are here too, with Maria on commentary. Taven knocks Swann down to start as Maria lists off Taven and Bennett’s successes. Swann is sent outside, where the threat of a beatdown means Honor No More is ejected (Maria is not happy).

We take a break and come back with Team Impact gone as well as Taven hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two on Swann. Bennett’s brainbuster gets two more but the spike piledriver is blocked. Swann enziguris his way out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Rhino to clean house. Maria pops up to throw powder in Rhino’s face though and it’s the Climax to give Taven the pin at 9:14.

Rating: C. Honor No More continues to do pretty well around here as the numbers advantage from the unified team works over a thrown together group of Impact wrestlers. It’s hard to imagine the story ending at No Surrender and that is a good thing, as this has been one of the better things going in Impact. If nothing else, it is nice to have Maria in the role she plays best, because she is kind of perfect for what she is doing.

Post match Swann gets beaten down and former Ring of Honor owner Cary Silkin isn’t happy. Cue Steve Maclin for the save and Rhino Gores the heck out of Bennett.

In the back, Maclin pitches himself for Team Impact but Eddie Edwards doesn’t buy it. Ian Riccaboni thinks Maclin is a good idea and Chris Sabin welcomes him to the team. The rest of the team doesn’t seem sure but Maclin appears to be in.

Gisele Shaw says she didn’t steal Lady Frost’s spotlight because Frost never had it in the first place. Shaw seems to be the latest stuck up/better than you woman.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

W. Morrissey vs. Brian Myers

No DQ and the Learning Tree is here with Myers. Morrissey takes the Tree out before the bell though and the destruction seems to be starting fast. The Tree comes back in so Myers can hit the Roster Cut. Instead of covering though, it’s time for a table. Zicky Dice is kicked through said table and another one falls down as soon as Morrissey is laid on it. Morrissey fights up again and chokeslams VSK off the top through a table leaned up against the ring.

We take a break and come back with Myers hitting Morrissey with a kendo stick and suplexing him on the ramp. Back in and more kendo stick shots keep Morrissey in trouble, but Myers makes it worse by duct taping him to the middle rope. Myers hits him with various things, including several trash can shots.

Coast To Coast drives the trash can into Morrissey and Myers untapes him for two. Another Roster Cut is blocked with a hard clothesline from Morrissey, who is rather fired up. The kendo stick is broken over Morrissey’s knee and there’s the powerbomb. The fans want one more so Morrissey obliges, albeit on some thumbtacks. A second powerbomb onto the tacks finish Myers at 14:41.

Rating: C+. I’m trying to get my mind around Morrissey as a face (albeit a VERY intense one) and it’s still hard to fathom. Either way, this made him look like a beast who could be a very serious threat to Moose at No Surrender. Myers needed the stipulation to have any kind of a chance here and even then the match was only so competitive. That’s how you make Morrissey look like a monster though and they have done a pretty good job so far.

Post match Moose runs in for the beatdown and wraps a chair around Morrissey’s throat. Another chair is used like a hammer to crush said throat to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. These shows are still rolling along and I’m almost tempted to watch No Surrender. Making me want to see another show that I had no interest in just a few weeks ago is a great sign for what they are doing and I could go for more of it. Good show here, as the World Title gets some more focus after lacking it for a little while now. I didn’t quite need the tacks in the main event, but the rest of the show made up for a lot of it.

Results
Josh Alexander b. Big Kon – Ankle lock
Deonna Purrazzo b. Santana Garrett – Rollup
Chelsea Green b. Mickie James via DQ when Tasha Steelz interfered
Matt Taven/Mike Bennett b. Rhino/Rich Swann – Climax to Rhino
W. Morrissey b. Brian Myers – Powerbomb onto thumbtacks

 

 

 

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