ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 22, 2006
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and that means it is time for Big Show to find a new challenger. Sabu gave him a run for at least a few dollars before falling to the giant, like so many others have so far. Hopefully they can find someone new to come after the title, though Kurt Angle is no longer an option. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with an Extreme Bikini Contest between Torrie Wilson and Kelly Kelly. Torrie goes first but here are Mike Knox and Test to tell Kelly she can’t do this. Sandman and Tommy Dreamer run in to chase them off and let’s have a six person tag.

Torrie Wilson/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Kelly Kelly/Test/Mike Knox

The brawl is on to start with Torrie sending Kelly into the corner for an early Stink Face. Test comes in to pound on Dreamer and Knox follows to add the stomping. Dreamer is sent into the corner and, after knocking Sandman off the apron, Test grabs a quickly broken bearhug. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Sandman. House is cleaned and Sandman hits the Rolling Rock for two on Knox. Sandman gets shoved off the ropes but Knox misses the middle rope legdrop, allowing Dreamer to grab the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. This was all about Torrie standing on the apron in a swimsuit with her back facing the camera. I get the idea, though it’s not like they were hiding the idea. The match came and went, but it’s nice to see the ECW Originals getting a win for a change, because they haven’t done a thing of note against anyone but themselves in weeks.

Big Show tells Heyman not to worry about Sabu because he has a plan.

Matt Striker knows that fans are not smart enough to understand him but what matters is that he’s smarter than you and his brains are coming to ECW.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Extreme Rules and Ariel is here with Thorn. Mahoney strikes away to start and kicks Thorn to the floor, where the slugout is on again. Back in and Thorn gets in a few cane shots, including one to the throat. Mahoney grabs a sitout spinebuster but Ariel bites his leg, allowing Thorn to kick a chair into Mahoney’s face. The hanging Stunner finishes Mahoney in a hurry.

Shannon Moore says the system is impressive.

CM Punk vs. Christopher W. Anderson

Anderson drives him into the corner to start and nails a left to the ribs, sending commentary into a quick Abbott and Costello routine. Punk is back with something like an Octopus over the ropes, setting up a sunset flip for two. The running knee in the corner rocks Anderson but he’s back with a spinebuster for two. Not that it matters as Punk slaps on the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap.

Sabu promises to beat Big Show tonight.

Marine trailer.

Paul Heyman gives the newest ECW star a pep talk about how they have been held back for his entire career. There are enemies around here but he can make it if he makes an impact. It’s Hardcore Holly, as ECW continues to not exactly look strong. That being said, Holly’s bull, hard hitting stuff does seem like it could fit here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Danny Doring

The grappling doesn’t go very far to start so Van Dam kicks him down in a hurry. Doring takes him to the mat, only to get kicked in the face again. The top rope kick to the face into Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star for the fast pin.

Post match here’s Hardcore Holly to beat both of them down with a chair. Van Dam gets an Alabama Slam for a bonus, just to make sure you didn’t think you were getting a Holly vs. Doring feud.

Rene Dupree is still coming.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Show is defending and this isn’t Extreme Rules. After the Big Match Intros, Show headbutts him down and hammers away as the destruction is on early. Sabu gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and we take a break. Back with Show hitting a clothesline into the bearhug but the referee gets bumped.

A fall away slam sends Sabu flying so he grabs a chair and blasts Show to limited avail. Sabu’s middle rope chair to the head drops Show and it’s the Triple Jump Moonsault into an Arabian Facebuster for two. The referee is up but Sabu grabs the bell anyway and unloads on Show for the DQ (minus the bell ringing because it’s in use).

Rating: D. I’m not sure what they were going for here, as we have established that Big Show can beat Sabu with the weapons, but now we need to prove that Sabu can’t do anything without them? This seemed to be more of a way to take the night off from finding anything new, while also keeping Sabu hot. Given the talent depth at the moment, that isn’t the worst idea.

Post match Sabu knocks Show off an apron and through a table at ringside to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The shows still aren’t goo, but at least this one went by fast and felt quick. It can take a lot out of a show to have it feel like it’s never going to end but the short matches in the middle helped a lot. If you ignore the bad quality, boring stars being brought in and lack of good stories, the show might get close to not being awful most weeks.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 15, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means we need a title match set. In this case that is likely to mean something involving Sabu, Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam, the latter of whom returned last week to interfere and break up a #1 contenders match between the others. Other than that, expect the ECW Originals to look really pathetic. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Van Dam returning last week and taking out Sabu and Angle.

Paul Heyman, with Big Show, announces that Angle has suffered a torn groin muscle and will not be wrestling in tonight’s triple threat #1 contenders ladder match. Instead it will be Sabu vs. Van Dam and it will be EXTREME. And that, unless he has an interview or pre-taped segment, is the last we’ll see of Angle in WWE for over ten years.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mick Foley as our designated guest star of the week. Foley talks about Ric Flair being invited to come here tonight but Flair seems to have turned down the offer. With Flair not here, Foley has the chance to talk about Flair’s accusations that Foley was nothing until he fell off the Cell. Foley remembers it differently, because he was thrown off and put on a stretcher but he wasn’t quitting because he would have thought less of himself.

What Flair has never understood, Foley’s career is built around being able to look in the mirror. Foley is doing that on Monday morning and as busted open as he will be, he is going to like what he sees. Foley may be a bestselling author, but the words I-Q-U-I-T are not in his vocabulary. Since there is no Flair here though, Foley has some guests tonight.

First up is Kelly Kelly, followed by Melina. It’s time to do something Foley has never done before: a three way dance! This goes as well as you would expect, including Flair running in to go after Foley and send him into the steps. Foley is bleeding from his mouth as Flair chokes him with his belt. Flair swears the Foley will quit at Summerslam before walking away. They were both feeling it here.

Shannon Moore tells us to question authority.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

Credible actually gets an inset promo, promising to prove that Punk’s debut win was just a fluke. The fans are WAY into Punk and he strikes Credible down in a hurry to start. A running clothesline in the corner connects, followed by a running knee. Credible counters a spinning high crossbody into a gutbuster but Punk slips out of a suplex. The running knee in the corner sets up the Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice for the pin. This would be it for Credible, as the Originals lose another, meaning nothing is really going to change.

Video on Rob Van Dam.

Rob Van Dam is sitting on a ladder, where he talks about wanting the ECW Title back. Nothing is going to stop him, no matter how homicidal, suicidal or genocidal. Then he’s going on to Summerslam to take the ECW Title from Big Show.

Rene Dupree says he’s a beautiful man, but now he is going to prove that he’s hardcore.

FBI vs. Mike Knox/Test

Kelly Kelly is here with the non-Italians. Knox takes Nunzio into the corner and slams him down without much effort. The stomping is on and it’s off to Test for a backbreaker into a side slam. Mamaluke comes in so Test kicks Guido in the face and TKOs Mamaluke for the pin. Total squash.

Post match Tommy Dreamer and Sandman run in to clear the ring. Knox hides behind Kelly that’s what he does.

Video on Sabu.

Sabu is ready for Big Show and will sacrifice anything to win.

Heyman is giving Big Show a pep talk when Kurt Angle runs in to go after both of them. Security takes him down and Angle is handcuffed and arrested. Show wants to press charges. So I’m guessing that’s it for him.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Ladder match with the winner facing Big Show for the title on Sunday. Sabu doesn’t look thrilled with the fans grabbing at him on the way in but he dives at Van Dam’s leg to start. We get a wide shot of the contract and the lights in the arena are really low despite a decent crowd. Either they’re focusing on the ring more so than usual or no one showed up for ECW. Rob kicks away but gets crotched on top.

In something that makes sense for Van Dam, he tried to jump from the top to grab the contract. It doesn’t work of course, but points for trying something different. Sabu clotheslines him to the floor but Rob is right back with a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his face. Back from a break with Sabu sending him face first into the ladder and driving him into the ladder again with the Arabian facebuster. Rob shoves the ladder over though and then drops Sabu onto it, setting up the spinning legdrop.

The ladder is monkey flipped onto Sabu to put them both down but Rolling Thunder only hits ladder. There’s the Triple Jump Moonsault but the Atomic Arabian Facebuster only hits ladder. Rob gets pulled off the ladder but he kicks Sabu down and hits a quick Five Star. That means Van Dam can go up but here’s Big Show to put him through a table. Show orders the contract down so Sabu dives onto show and pulls it down for the win.

Rating: C. The ending wasn’t exactly in doubt here as they had built up Sabu for weeks, but Van Dam is the kind of person who could get into a major title match at the drop of a hat. They also did a nice job of throwing in a fresh ending, which is so rare in a ladder match. It was smart to put Sabu in a match like this to protect him and I’d assume that is going to be the same on Sunday.

Show destroys Sabu again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a bit better show than in recent weeks, mainly because one of the ECW people actually won something for a change. You can see the writing on the wall (it’s in REALLY big letters) around here though as ECW is going under in a hurry. Van Dam, Sabu and maybe Dreamer are about all the original brand has to offer and I’m not sure how much longer they are going to matter anyway. Not a terrible show here, but that feels like a rarity instead of a good sign for the future.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 8, 2006
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re back after last week’s sojourn into Vince McMahon’s nightmare of a television main event of Batista vs. Big Show. Sabu seems to be the next challenger for Big Show’s ECW World Title and that sounds at least slightly better than what we’ve been seeing with all of the guest stars. Yeah that’s where we are now: Sabu is the big hope. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Paul Heyman getting some muscle to fight the ECW originals.

Opening sequence.

Mike Knox vs. Tommy Dreamer

Kelly Kelly is here with Knox and Dreamer has a bad limp after last last week. Knox jumps him to start but Dreamer is back with a neckbreaker and baseball slide. A whip sends Knox into the steps and the DDT connects back inside but here are Heyman with his goons to jump Dreamer. Back in and Knox’s swinging Downward Spiral is good for the fast pin.

Post match the beatdown seems imminent but here’s Sandman for the rather slow save.

Post break, Heyman says he knows Sandman is upset about Dreamer and Heyman is too. Heyman was going to have Dreamer in a rematch from last week but now he can’t do that. Don’t worry though because Heyman has something else in mind.

Test/Mike Knox vs. Sandman

This isn’t extreme rules so the Singapore cane is illegal. Sandman swings it anyway but gets beaten down with a bunch of stomping. Test misses the top rope elbow so Sandman grabs the cane for the DQ.

Video on Sabu.

We look at Sabu attacking Big Show over the last few weeks.

Sabu says he’s beating Kurt Angle to become #1 contender.

Balls Mahoney likes ECW because he gets to be extreme.

Kevin Thorn vs. Al Snow

Thorn has Ariel with him and an early distraction starts things fast. Snow slugs away but Thorn hits a quick spear. Thorn and Ariel stop to do their….whatever it is before Thorn hits a hanging Stunner. More Ariel time sets up a Razor’s Edge to finish Snow in a hurry.

Video on Kurt Angle.

Angle is ready to make Sabu understand that it’s suicidal to step in the ring with him.

Rene Dupree is ready to be the most extreme athlete in ECW history.

Here’s Big Show in a suit for a chat. He knows the champ has never looked so good because he’s here to bring some class to ECW. If Kurt Angle wants to get involved, Show will crush him like crackers in his soup. If Sabu comes after him, he’ll learn what it means to be suicidal (not a good sign when you have to use the same line about Sabu twice in five minutes). No one can beat him.

Video on CM Punk’s debut last week.

Punk thanks the fans for the welcome last week and says it was worth it for everything he gave to get here. He’s back next week and he has to make the most of it because that is his nature.

Kurt Angle vs. Sabu

For the #1 contendership at Summerslam. Sabu dives at the ankle to start so Angle takes him to the mat with no trouble. The headlock has Sabu in trouble but he reverses into a front facelock. That’s broken up in a hurry but Sabu sends him shoulder first into the post. We take a break and come back with Sabu having to fight out of a reverse chinlock. The springboard tornado DDT plants Angle for two but he pops back up with a belly to belly. We hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors so Sabu fights up, setting up a springboard leg lariat.

Sabu charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with another leg lariat for another two. Angle is right back up with the rolling German suplexes so Sabu comes back with another springboard leg lariat. The camel clutch is countered into an ankle lock which is countered with a roll through the ropes for the break. Back in and Sabu grabs a cross armbreaker but Angle reverses into the ankle lock. Cue the returning Rob Van Dam with a Van Daminator to take Angle out, which will of course be a no contest because WWE has a really poor understanding of disqualifications.

Rating: C. I’m almost stunned but Sabu had a decent match here, which is likely attributed to Angle being able to rein him in. It’s almost bizarre to see Sabu have a straight match, mainly because he did it well enough here. The ending doesn’t make sense but given how the rest of this show has gone, that isn’t even worth getting annoyed about in the first place.

Post match Van Dam beats down Sabu as well to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event, while only pretty good, was nowhere near enough to save this show, which was all about making the ECW originals look like the most worthless wrestlers in recent memory. They lost three matches and the fourth was dead to rites until Van Dam came in for the, ahem, no contest. This show felt like they were actively trying to crush the old ECW and while that might not be the worst idea long term, it didn’t make for the most thrilling show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 1, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

ECW is back in their secondary home and that could make for an interesting (ahem) night as the main event is Big Show defending the ECW World Title against Batista. I’m sure this will not go badly in any way shape or form. Other than that, Kurt Angle is back after a few weeks off so maybe he can make up the gap a bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Test/Mike Knox

Extreme Rules and Kelly Kelly is here with Test and Knox. Dreamer and Knox start things off with Dreamer going for an armbar. Everything breaks down in about three seconds and the big brawl is on. Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade, leaving Sandman to get double teamed back inside. That doesn’t last long though as Dreamer is back in with a DDT while Sandman grabs the White Russian legsweep for the double knockdown.

It’s time to bring in some weapons and the fans are rather….not pleased actually as they want tables. You give ECW fans what they want so here’s a barbed wire board in the corner. Test uses a kendo stick to save Knox from a double suplex through the board so Dreamer trashcans him in the head.

Knox hides behind Kelly on the floor so Sandman throws Kelly inside, to the bloody Dreamer. A spanking ensues but here are Paul Heyman’s riot guards to take Dreamer out. Heyman shows up too and orders the guards to put Dreamer through the barbed wire board. Test shoves him through it again and adds the TKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. This started off feeling more like an ECW match and then it turned into WWECW in a hurry, with Test and Knox going over thanks to the screwy evil boss. That’s not exactly the kind of thing that the ECW fans are going to like, but they certainly did seem to be furious at Heyman. It’s better than nothing, but Test and Knox aren’t quite the definition of top stars.

Post break Heyman and the squad are at catering where no one will look at them. Heyman runs into Sabu though, meaning it’s another speech about how Big Show can’t be put through a match with Sabu. Threats of violence are implied but Sabu glares at Heyman anyway.

CM Punk talks about unleashing his passion during the battle.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

Well this is historic, and the fans are VERY happy to see Punk. Credible gets taken down into a front facelock to start and Punk wraps him up in a choke around the ropes. Some rolling suplexes get two on Punk and we hit the half crab. That’s broken up as well and Punk hits the springboard clothesline for his own two. Punk strikes away and grabs an unnamed arm trap choke for the tap.

Rating: C. Credible got in some offense here but in the end he got beaten up like he was CM Punk in the UFC. Punk looked good here and while the crowd reaction helped, he felt like someone ready to become a breakout star. It’s one of those things where you can feel the star power no matter what he is doing and it showed during his match.

Video on Batista.

Shannon Moore is on the subway.

Here’s the Brooklyn Brawler to talk about how he is too extreme for Raw or Smackdown. He is going to be ECW World Champion, but then he gets cut off.

Kurt Angle vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Ankle lock finishes in just over a minute in a vintage Brawler performance.

Video on Big Show.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn (named for the first time) promise to take ECW’s blood.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Batista

Batista is challenging, but the fans chant for RVD before his entrance. Oh yeah this is going to be a rough one. Show gives Batista a weird look as he heads to the ring, with Batista arguing with a fan on the way. There are a lot of middle fingers at Batista and it gets even worse when he poses. Show doesn’t get much better of a reception and the YOU BOTH SUCK chant starts at the bell. Batista slugs away in the corner and knocks Show outside as we take a break.

Back (I believe with footage from the commercial) with a BORING chant, prompting Show to shout a loud (and uncensored “F*** YOU!” to the fans. The crowd shifts to a SABU chant, so Show grabs the mic and says he’s the champ and there’s nothing the people can do about it. Now it’s back to the BORING chant, what sounds like SHOW IS FAT, and then RVD, all while Show walks around on the floor. Batista finally goes outside and gets superkicked down but the fans don’t care again.

We come back to the regular feed (ah that’s why there was no commentary) and come back with a SAME OLD S*** chant. Batista elbows his way out of the chokeslam attempt but getting knocked down again. Fans: “CHANGE THE CHANNEL!” Even commentary has no idea what to say to this, with Joey saying if anyone belongs on Sci Fi, it’s Big Show. Batista catches him on the ropes with a suplex, drawing more booing.

The clothesline comeback doesn’t work so Batista hits a spear for two. The fans find this BORING again and the chokeslam for two doesn’t make it much better. A spinebuster gets Batista out of trouble but the Batista Bomb is countered into an Air Raid Crash for two. With nothing else working, Show finally just hits Batista with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: F. There is a lot to go through here as you can blame just about everyone involved with the whole thing. First of all, WWE should have known that this wasn’t going to work with these people in front of this audience. I say should have because WWE hasn’t quite known what to do with ECW since the beginning so I’m not surprised.

Then you have the fans, who were just not having any of this. The fans did not want to see this match and let WWE know about it. It’s not their fault that they were led to believe (by the ECW letters) that they were getting one thing and then getting another. This is not what they wanted to see and they let WWE know, as the match could have been Flair vs. Steamboat and gotten the same reception.

Finally there are the wrestlers, who were left in an unwinnable situation. At the end of the day, there was nothing they could do to make it work and that was obvious during their entrances. It also didn’t help that Batista had no idea how to respond to something like this and was completely lost, ultimately reverting to his usual stuff. Show at least played to the crowd a bit, but they were probably right to just cut the cord and go home when they did.

All in all, this was a complete disaster and I’m not a bit surprised, as everyone involved either missed the point or did not want to do this in the first place. It doesn’t help that the match was barely anything of note, and hopefully this wraps up the guest stars experiment, as it was only so good in the first place and now you can see just how bad it can be.

Post match Sabu comes in to pelt a chair at Show’s head and hit the Arabian Facebuster. A dropkick into a chair into Show’s head knocks him off the apron and through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was all about the fans and that made for a rather weird show. The opener wasn’t good and the main event was an all time mess, but the two matches in the middle (combining to last about five minutes) worked well and were the kind of thing the crowd wanted to see. Hopefully this is the kind of show that changes things going forward, because even though this was a show in New York, you can’t risk a crowd treating your show like that again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: July 25, 2006
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Things continue to just kind of exist around here and that’s not the best place to be. I’m not sure how long they can keep going with Big Show defending against various people, but that’s about all they have at the moment. Hopefully the latest guest star works though because that’s all they have. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly (officially with two names) are in the ring to start and we get a highlight package of Kelly’s Exposes. Knox says she can never take her clothes off in public again and we see Kelly getting caned in the head last week. That was absolutely Sandman’s fault and Knox left to get her medical held. Now it’s time for some revenge.

Sandman vs. Mike Knox

Joey calls Sandman a blue collar beer drinking character. Knox pounds away to start and hits some right hands on the mat, only to get caught with the White Russian legsweep. The Singapore cane is brought in so Knox hides behind Kelly, only to have Test come in to jump Sandman for the fast DQ.

The TKO leaves Sandman laying and Test leaves with Knox and an annoyed Kelly.

Post break, Test and Knox are rather pleased but Tommy Dreamer jumps them with a trashcan.

Sabu wants an ECW Title match but Paul Heyman won’t let it happen because it’s too dangerous. Actually Sabu being here is too dangerous, so he has the night off. Heyman turns and accuses Little Guido of talking about him, so the security jumps him. Guido is done, so security has him taken to the ring for his match.

CM Punk talks about growing up in Chicago and seeing a lot of people come and go. He debuts next week.

Vampire vs. Little Guido

Ariel is in the unnamed vampires’s (oh sorry: follower of vampirism) corner. The mostly done Guido tries to fight back but gets kicked down, setting up a fireman’s carry Stunner off the ropes. A Razor’s Edge finishes Guido.

Video on Kane, who is challenging Big Show tonight.

Shannon Moore is still coming.

Justin Credible vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney pounds away to start and they head outside with the beatdown continuing. Back in and Justin scores with a legdrop into a northern lights suplex for two. We hit the chinclock, followed by the chinlock with a knee in the back. A belly to back suplex gets Mahoney out of trouble and the snap jabs put Credible down. The BORING chants are on, even as Justin misses a baseball slide into the post. The baseball slide only hits post but Justin gets in a shot of his own and heads outside for a chair. Mahoney takes it away and hits Justin for the DQ.

Rating: D-. And that’s why this version of ECW is never going to work. They had a bad match on their own with no extreme rules, and without extreme rules, there is nothing to make these two worth watching. Credible was always bland in the ring and Mahoney only worked in the hardcore stuff. Therefore, giving them six minute and leaving them hanging out there was a horrible plan and it is no surprise that this was a disaster.

Post match Mahoney chairs the referee too.

Big Show tells Paul Heyman to bring on the challengers but Heyman tells him to focus on Kane tonight.

We get a tale of the tape for Kane vs. Big Show and Kane’s hometown is listed as Death Valley. When was he EVER listed as being from anywhere?

Video on Sabu.

Kurt Angle is back next week.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Kane

Show is defending and it’s Extreme Rules. They shove each other around to start and Show tosses him to the floor. Kane manages to post him and pulls out some tables and chairs. Show knocks him down though and we take a break. Back with Show hitting the chop against the ropes and then sending him head first into a chair in the corner.

A Vader Bomb is broken up with a low blow and Kane hits a belly to back superplex for a double knockdown. They slug it out from their knees until Kane sends him into the corner for a running clothesline. Show hits a quick chokeslam for two and heads to the floor to set up a pair of tables.

That takes too long though and Kane chairs him off the apron through the tables. Cue Heyman to talk to Show until Kane throws (the now bleeding) Show back inside. Kane’s top rope clothesline is pulled out of the air for another chokeslam but Kane reverses into a DDT. Heyman pulls the referee out though, allowing Show to chair Kane down. Another chokeslam onto the chair retains the title.

Rating: C+. That’s probably the best of the guest star matches so far and I can’t say I’m surprised. Kane is good with the violence and these two beating on each other is a fine way to spend fifteen minutes. Maybe it’s just due to how lame the rest of the show was, but at least it worked out fine for a TV main event without much drama.

Post match here’s Sabu to dropkick a chair into Show’s face. Heyman looks worried and annoyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped but this show was really lacking badly. You can only get so far when one match on the show matters and even that was only so good. The show just did not work and if they don’t come up with something better than “Big Show vs. this guy”, it’s going to get worse in a hurry. Sabu s pretty much the only ECW original worth a title shot at the moment, so hopefully things can pick up a bit in the next few weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 18, 2006
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

It’s time for another guest star, mainly because Kurt Angle is on hiatus and Rob Van Dam is suspended, leaving no one to challenge Big Show. This time around it’s the Undertaker, who seems like someone who could thrive in the hardcore stuff. Then again you never can really tell with this stuff so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Kelly’s Expose and it’s the same as always, with Mike Knox interrupting. They head to the ring, with Knox saying what is about to happen is due to her.

Mike Knox vs. Sandman

Fallout from Sandman attacking Knox last week. Sandman busts himself open with the beer can so Knox jumps him from behind to start and takes things outside for the brawl. A whip into the barricade sets up some elbow drops to keep Sandman down and they head back inside. Sandman hits a bulldog to send Knox outside and it’s time for the cane. Naturally he hits Kelly by mistake, allowing Knox to hit a low blow for the fast pin.

Knox leaves the unconscious Kelly at ringside. The replay shows that Knox pulled Kelly in the way of the cane shot.

Shannon Moore is coming.

During the break, Kelly was stretchered out.

Here’s Paul Heyman, flanked by the riot guards, for a chat. Heyman says his children all have to drink the Kool Aid from the same glass. Last week he explained suspending Rob Van Dam to protect himself but now he hears confusion. Cue Tommy Dreamer to interrupt, with Heyman looking a bit confused.

Dreamer says he has been with Heyman since the beginning and now he wants an explanation of what Heyman is doing. Everyone is confused so what is going on? Heyman kisses Dreamer on the mouth and here’s Test to run Dreamer over with the big boot. The TKO leaves Dreamer laying, as Joey thinks Test might be working for Heyman. Maybe. It’s possible.

Balls Mahoney says with his name, you have to be extreme. He may be a bit nuts, but he likes things that way.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Non-extreme rules (because that worked so well last time) rematch from Saturday Night’s Main Event (because that worked so well last time). The fans want tables but get a headlock from Sabu, who is driven into the corner for the break. Stevie stomps him down and puts on an armbar but that’s broken up in a hurry. A running leg lariat drops Richards for two and a tornado DDT plants him again. The camel clutch makes Richards tap.

Rating: D. I know you have to have these people on the show to make it feel like ECW (or at least in name only) but these guys feel so tacked on. The previous segment felt important, but Sandman felt like a pest for Knox to beat up and this felt like WWE saying “There. Happy now?”. They aren’t even hiding it that much anymore and the sooner they cut the cord, the better.

CM Punk talks about his background in various martial arts, which make him so much more of a dangerous wrestler. It’s almost weird to see him with the longer hair.

The vampire introduces the tarot card reader as Ariel, who shows us the death card and her bloody neck.

Video on Big Show’s path of destruction.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and this feels so wrong. Show drives him into the corner and unloads with elbows so Undertaker evens things up with kicks to the ribs. The slugout gets the fans into things a bit so Show headbutts him down to cut them off. They trade big boots for a double knockdown and Show sends him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Undertaker hitting a Stunner over the top rope but getting kneed down for two. Undertaker’s own headbutt just hurts him again and Show takes it to the floor for a second time.

Undertaker is sent head first into the steps but he’s back with elbows to the face. Another headbutt takes Undertaker down back inside but this time he pulls Show into a kneebar. That’s broken up as well and Show pounds him down, only to charge into a boot in the corner. Old School is broken up though and it’s a superplex to give Show two….as Undertaker sits up. Undertaker’s chokeslam is broken up and there’s another headbutt. The cobra clutch is countered as well and now Old School can connect. Cue Great Khali to go after Undertaker, with Big Show joining in for the double countout.

Rating: C-. It was your run of the mill Undertaker vs. Big Show match and that’s your first big problem. These two work out well enough against each other but at the same time, it’s something that has been done so many times that it doesn’t exactly draw much interest. Undertaker down in ECW feels like one of the times he would challenge for the Intercontinental Title, as it almost feels like he got lost on the way to his real match.

Post match Undertaker isn’t having any of this and starts wildly swinging a chair, only to get beaten down again. A double chokeslam through the announcers’ table ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show really felt like they didn’t have any idea what they were doing and just threw a bunch of stuff together to fill in their allotted time. ECW really doesn’t serve much of a purpose and it isn’t getting much better, meaning I’m not sure where this show is going to go. Wherever it is, it needs to be an upgrade from here though, because things are getting rough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: July 11, 2006
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially into a new era around here as Rob Van Dam has lost the ECW World Title to Big Show thanks to a screwy finish/the need to get the title off of him due to his arrest. Big Show already has his first challenger lined up too, as Ric Flair is this week’s guest star. This could go in a lot of ways so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Big Show winning the title last week when Paul Heyman turned on Rob Van Dam.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Heyman for an opening chat. Last week he made sure Van Dam lost the title and it’s all the fans’ fault. The people here are the reason he is no longer the champion and the reason why Van Dam has been suspended for thirty days. Heyman tried to convince Van Dam to calm down a bit and not defend the title so much, but the RVD chants drove him even further.

That drove Heyman to end it all and now he is a martyr. He sacrificed his friendship with Van Dam for these people and he will be your messiah. Heyman will lead his children to the promised land and you’re all coming with him. This felt rather forced, probably because that’s exactly what it was.

Post break, Tommy Dreamer runs into Heyman, now with armed riot guards. Heyman has no time to explain, because Dreamer’s match is next, despite the fact that he is in street clothes.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Test

Dreamer slugs away to start and it’s a Cactus Clothesline to take them to the floor. Back in and Test hits a running clothesline in the corner as the cockiness starts early. Dreamer gets the knee up in the corner though and grabs a neckbreaker. The DDT is countered into a full nelson slam but Test misses the top rope elbow. Dreamer manages to get him up in the Death Valley Driver but Test slips down and grabs a rollup (plus the rope) for the pin.

Rating: D+. I got what they were going for here but having Test win via rollup wasn’t exactly making Dreamer look like he was in serious trouble. Granted it’s Test so he isn’t the best choice to go with something even slightly complicated, but how hard is it to have Dreamer get in a little offense and then get squashed? Fine idea and poor execution, which could apply to a lot of things around here.

Candice Michelle gets dressed when Kelly comes in. Candice promises to take the dancing to the extreme and gets very close to Kelly’s face.

Ariel the Tarot Card Reader says the future holds blood and spits blood at the camera.

Kelly and Candice Michelle have their expose and of course here’s Mike Knox with the towel. This time Sandman pops up to cane Knox off the stage.

CM Punk says his tattoos tell a story, like DRUG FREE and HONOR. He’s fighting against the system.

Sabu vs. Justin Credible

This is under normal rules for reasons of general stupidity. Sabu takes him down to start so Justin heads outside to grab a table. That earns him a big running flip dive so Sabu sets up the (partially broken) table at ringside. Credible comes outside and is promptly put on the table for the Arabian Facebuster and the DQ. Well that was pointless.

Balls Mahoney says he’s always ready to fight.

Ric Flair says he’s coming for his 17^th World Title tonight but he also needs to talk about Mick Foley. If Foley wants to be a man, he can face Flair in a match of Foley’s choice. As for Show, Flair is coming for the title and will take advantage of any mistake Show makes.

Shannon Moore, now with spiked hair, tattoos and piercings, is coming.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Ric Flair

Show is defending and this is under Extreme Rules. They circle each other a bit until Show sends him into the corner with the straight power. Flair bails to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Flair being gorilla pressed and headbutted as the dominance is on early. Flair is already busted open and another headbutt makes it even worse. Show tosses him outside so it’s time to bring in the weapons but Show sends Flair back inside before they can be used.

A suplex drops Flair, who tells Show to bring it on anyway. That means another headbutt into a powerslam but Flair scores with some low blows. Some low kicks have Show down again and now it’s time for the weapons. Flair doesn’t waste time in going with the barbed wire baseball bat to gouge Show’s head open. Some trashcan and chair shots put Show down….for two, as he launches Flair off on the kickout. Now it’s thumbtacks time and some chair shots to the head knock Show into said tacks. That just angers Show, who hits a chokeslam and the cobra clutch backbreaker retains.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of this one as people remember it as Flair being this big pin cushion, but that’s really just a quick burst. The match runs about thirteen and a half minutes and the violence doesn’t come into play until about eight or nine minutes in. Yeah Flair bleeds like a pig at the start but he does that when he goes to the grocery store. The barbed wire bat and tacks are a bit much, but they’re really not that big of a part of the match.

That being said, the match isn’t all that good as it’s Show squashing him, Flair getting in a few weapons shots, and then Show finishing him off. Bad match, but not as bad as people remember, especially when it ties into Flair wanting to go extreme with Foley, and perhaps finding out that he’s in over his head.

Post match Show throws him into the tacks. Flair is helped out and we get a THANK YOU FLAIR chant to end the show. This part, with Flair barely able to walk and being rather bloody is probably the reason this match is somewhat infamous, as he looks pretty bad.

Overall Rating: D+. This series is reaching the point of dead on arrival, as any spark that it had is long gone, with “Ric Flair Goes EXTREME” not being much of a calling card. The first problem is the main event stuff, which would be the upper midcard on Raw at its very best. That doesn’t exactly make me want to stick around, but it’s certainly better than EVERYTHING else, which feels as worthless as you can get. Test beating Tommy Dreamer, a vampire, and Sabu in a regular match. If that’s as good as they have here, they have more troubles than they can solve.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 4, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

Things are not looking up for ECW at the moment as Rob Van Dam lost the WWE Championship the previous night on Raw. That’s one heck of a loss for ECW but they still have their own championship around Van Dam’s waist. What more could go wrong on back to back nights? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman welcomes us to the show and talks about Van Dam losing last night. That’s because Van Dam has been putting himself through a rough schedule as a double champion (indeed, for all three weeks of his reign). Big Show storms in and demands a title shot tonight. Oh here we go.

Opening sequence.

We open with Kelly’s Expose: Salute To America, meaning she strips off American flag gear this time. As usual, Mike Knox cuts it off just in time.

Mike Knox vs. Guido

Before the match, Knox says he’s sorry but only he gets to look at Kelly. Guido jumps him from behind but gets hit in the face for his efforts. A backbreaker gets two as the fans give us a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Some knees to the neck give Knox two and he hits four straight slams. Knox misses a running knee, only to come back with a big boot. The spinning Downward Spiral finishes Guido without much effort.

Rating: D. And yeah you can really see ECW slipping away. Bless those ECW fans for trying, but this isn’t the same as the old deal and I don’t think they have accepted that yet. This is going to be the world of the interchangeable big men who fit the WWE style destroying the ECW Originals and we just got a good illustration of that style.

We look at Van Dam losing the title last night.

Van Dam comes in to see Heyman and demands to defend against Big Show tonight. He isn’t letting the big guys run them over and he’s fighting tonight. If he loses then so be it, but he’s not backing down.

Video on Test.

A bald man jumps the barricade and grabs the mic to complain about all of the filth that he is seeing around here. This program should not be on TV and you should all be ashamed of yourselves. If you enjoy ECW, you are a sinner who will burn in h***. Security tells him to go back over the barricade. Sandman, cane, same as always.

Van Dam comes into Big Show’s locker room and slaps him in the face to accept the challenge.

Post break, Van Dam yells at Heyman for asking where his head is. Van Dam is here because they are ECW and stick to their guns. He has to beat Big Show to be a real champion, which Heyman says is right. The title match is on and it’s Extreme Rules.

Test vs. Al Snow

Test is jacked and comes out to silence. The fans do pop for Snow, but are quickly quieted down as Test runs him over in the corner. A TKO ends Snow in a hurry.

Post match Test kicks Head into the crowd.

Video on Sabu (who talks, which should not be the case like, ever).

The Vampire is outside and spits blood at the camera.

And now, we meet a guy with a bunch of tattoos who is addicted to competition. His name is CM Punk.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and it’s Extreme Rules, meaning we do get a weapons check before the bell (granted that might have been to fill time during the break). Rob slugs away to little avail as Show runs him over with a shoulder. A headbutt puts Van Dam on the floor and the fans let Show know he can’t wrestle. Show clotheslines him over the barricade and they walk in front of the fans in the front row. There is no random swearing or violence so you can tell that this isn’t a real ECW crowd. Rob manages to jump onto the barricade for a kick to the head and we take a break.

Back with Rob hitting a springboard kick to the face but Show catches him on top with a superplex. Show kicks him in the head to keep him down and then stands on Van Dam’s chest in the corner. The fans chant for marijuana as Show drops some elbows for two. A bearhug doesn’t last long so Show switches to a backbreaker and bends Van Dam’s back over his knee. Van Dam knees his way to freedom and kicks the knee out, followed by a basement crossbody.

Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s a running spinwheel kick in the corner. Show catches him in the air though and tosses Van Dam outside. The steps are picked up but Van Dam gets in a drop toehold to send Show face first into them. Van Dam goes up top but Show pulls the dive out of the air in an impressive catch. Rob’s chair is swatted away and there’s a chokeslam for two.

Show knocks the referee away and grabs a powerbomb, only to have Van Dam chair him in the head. There’s the Van Daminator into the Five Star but there’s no referee. Cue Heyman to count two….and stop before three because we’ve got a screwjob. Show hits a nasty chair to the head and a chokeslam onto the chair gives Show the pin and the title with Heyman counting the pin.

Rating: C-. Ignoring all of the shenanigans and the necessity of the title change, the match was only ok at best, with Show doing his power stuff and Van Dam bouncing off of him over and over. Then you got to the ending, which was telegraphed but again, they didn’t have much of a choice. Van Dam had to drop the title to someone and other than Kurt Angle, who he beat last week, who else was there but Big Show? Sure it was about as close to the Survivor Series 2002 story with Van Dam in Brock Lesnar’s place, but they didn’t have much of an option otherwise.

Overall Rating: D. We’re four weeks into this and you can see the writing on the wall for ECW. This show was dominated by big men who would have never been a focal point in the original ECW and the wrestling was bad on top of that. I don’t think anyone was realistically thinking that ECW was going to be like the old days again but they didn’t waste time in making the ECW guys look like Barry and the Horowitzes. Not a good show, but you kind of had to expect something like this to happen sooner or later. It’s just the third WWE brand now, and it’s probably better to cut off the false hope before it gets sad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 27, 2006
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re back for round three and with Vengeance and the following Raw out of the way, Rob Van Dam has completely dispatched Edge and John Cena, meaning he will never have to deal with them again. I’m sure that won’t be a problem whatsoever, so tonight Van Dam gets to face Kurt Angle instead. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Sabu vs. Roadkill

No intro here as we go straight to the ring. Sabu knocks him down to start but it’s way too early for the camel clutch. It’s already time for the Triple Jump Moonsault but Roadkill knocks the chair out of his hand. The Barn Burner and an avalanche give Roadkill two each but he takes too much time getting out a table. Sabu hits the big dive off the chair to the floor but the Dirt Road Slam gives Roadkill two back inside.

The Vader Bomb gets the same but Roadkill takes too much time setting up the table (you may be noticing a pattern emerging). Sabu throws the chair at him for a low blow and hits a super hurricanrana. The Atomic Arabian Facebuster through the table sets up the camel clutch with the chair wrapped around Roadkill for the tap.

Rating: D+. They were moving as fast as they could here and that’s what they should have done. Sabu has been one of the major focal points of ECW so far and that’s a good idea. He has a reputation and the fans care about him so it makes a lot of sense to have him slay a monster like this. Even if the monster is an Amish farmer for some reason.

The Vampire is still outside.

Tommy Dreamer calls out Big Show for another beating. Cue Big Show, so Dreamer slugs away to start, only to get slammed four straight times. The cobra clutch backbreaker leaves Dreamer laying again. Short and sweet for the second week in a row.

Kelly shows her boyfriend various things, then pulls up her bra and goes to the ring with him.

Kurt Angle talks about being a failure since April 2 because he hasn’t been a champion since then. His wife and daughter love him but he hates himself. Now he needs to make Rob Van Dam hurt so badly that he goes back in time and chooses a new job.

Mike Knox vs. Danny Doring

Kelly is here at ringside so Joey makes fun of Tazz for not being able to say exhibitionist. Knox runs Doring over but hang on as Kelly goes over to offer a special shot to some fan. That’s broken up so Kelly heads to the back, leaving Knox to shrug off Doring’s offense and hit what would become known as Sister Abigail for the fast pin. Knox won, but Kelly is what matters here and that is very obvious.

Test is coming. I know this because there is a graphic which says “TEST IS COMING”.

Post break Kelly has her Expose and just like last week, Knox breaks it up at the last second.

And now, a rather large man in a Ric Flair style robe comes out to strip. Sandman gets in his weekly cameo….and the guy strips even more, revealing the gyrating g-string. The beating ensues, as usual.

Paul Heyman hypes up Rob Van Dam for the upcoming triple threat title match at Saturday Night’s Main Event against Edge and John Cena. The catch though is Kurt Angle is in if he wins tonight and it’s a four way. Van Dam says it’s cool because he’s been smoking lately.

Edge and Lita take some seats in the front row. Post break, Tazz asks Edge what he’s doing here so Edge takes the mic and says he’s here to watch Angle vs. Van Dam. Then he’ll see who he’s fighting because he’s the whole f’ing show.

Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title. Angle drives him up against the rope to start and then takes it to the mat with no effort. A front facelock sends Van Dam straight to the ropes and this time he’s out with a monkey flip. Angle is fine with being on the mat again and starts working on the arm. Back up and Van Dam manages a kick to the face but gets shoved off the top and into the barricade for the crash.

We take a break and come back with Van Dam caught in a chinlock, which is another item on the list of reasons this feels like WWE instead of ECW. Rob jawbreaks his way to freedom but Angle snaps off the belly to belly to take over again. The bodyscissors goes on with Angle driving forearms into Van Dam’s head. Van Dam gets up so Angle German suplexes him back and it’s a reverse chinlock to keep Rob down. Back up again and Rob hits a spinwheel kick for his first breather in a few moments.

The comeback is on with a springboard kick to the face and some clotheslines, only to have Angle suplex him again. The Angle Slam and ankle lock are countered so Angle grabs the German suplex for two more. A kick to the face gives Rob two but Angle snatches the ankle to put him in serious trouble. Van Dam sends him to the floor for the break and hits a kick to the head back inside. The split legged moonsault gets two on Angle but he runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex. The straps go down but Rob reverses the Angle Slam into a DDT for two. Now the Five Star can retain the title.

Rating: B. Take Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle, give them about eighteen minutes and let them have a good match. That’s one of those ideas that doesn’t need a lot of planning and it didn’t seem to here. Van Dam winning clean continues to make him look like the top star around here and doesn’t make it feel like a stretch in the process. That’s a tricky line to follow and they made it work well here.

Post match Edge applauds….and then runs in to spear Van Dam down. A display of affection with Lita ensues to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event is what matters here but when you add in Mike Knox, the Dreamer/Big Show deal, and the opener, there wasn’t much to see elsewhere. It’s also the third show in a row featuring a Raw guest star and given who else is on this show, that’s the best thing that the show could do. You’re only getting so far with Roadkill, Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney and I think that is becoming very clear in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another match of note on the show is Mickie James challenging Lita for the Women’s Championship in what would be Lita’s final match. Combining this with Trish Stratus leaving just a few months earlier, the Divas division was in a huge state of flux with the two biggest stars it ever had leaving in the span of a few months. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad (a group of male cheerleaders) still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler, so I’ll spare you from an explanation. Kenny is the only other one that stuck around after the team split up anyway.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Ron beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch (the other cheerleader) gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s Flair time and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow on Nicky for the immediate elimination, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with a handful of jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.

We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. There was also some nonsense about Eddie’s estate which didn’t going anywhere.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the rope. Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the swan dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the dive miss, sending Chris’ head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the frog splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.

Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the swan dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.

Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. Off to a sleeper from Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes. Again, their words not mine. Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for the ending with Lita’s head bouncing off the mat. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with the box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.

Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s underwear so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s massager. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.

Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox, a big power guy with a beard, has a chick named Kelly Kelly with him at the moment and she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Tag Team Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.

HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it but Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here people. Off to Jeff who works on Nitro’s arm to continue their recent feud.

Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.

Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and the fans are very pleased. Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.

Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.

Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.

Rating: C-. This was entertaining but it’s kind of a questionable ending when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is a very loud guy that likes to challenge legends and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Undertaker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Undertaker has had in years. It’s a first blood match tonight because Kennedy busted Undertaker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Undertaker’s magic powers.

Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP (think Deion Sanders) comes up and notices the Vaseline on Kennedy’s forehead. I guess the referee isn’t watching the interview.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but Undertaker punches him down as soon as they get back inside. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announcers’ table with Undertaker in total control. We head to the crowd and Undertaker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Undertaker into the steps.

Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Undertaker so far. We head back in and Undertaker busts out a superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but shouldn’t Undertaker be going for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it hasn’t been mentioned in any first blood match I’ve ever seen. Kennedy hits Undertaker low but Undertaker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.

A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Undertaker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Undertaker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.

Undertaker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone. It winds up hitting Undertaker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Undertaker is such a legend at this point.

Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Undertaker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former World Champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former World Champion he had beaten.

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team so I think you can guess the crowd reactions. Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga, a Samoan and formerly Jamal of 3 Minute Warning is still undefeated and a monster. Finlay is an Irish brawler.

Naturally Cena is booed out of the building by the hardcore crowd. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena getting knocked to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.

We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irishman for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.

While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with his club so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in between.

To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.

A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Hornswoggle again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.

Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.

JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Batista’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he believes is still his.

Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Booker is defending of course. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via DQ so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Also the ruling said Booker loses if he gets counted out. It said nothing about him losing by countout so would a draw give Batista the title? Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.

After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before sling shotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer.

A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Egads now I’m thinking like Michael Cole. Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title but it’s not clear. A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.

Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. That’s how the show ends: not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.

Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the World Title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.

Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.

This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6