Smackdown
Date: April 16, 2015
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

It’s time for the last TV show of the European tour. You can see most of the Extreme Rules card from here as a lot of the stipulations have been announced. The main event will see Randy Orton challenging Seth Rollins inside a cage with the RKO banned. A few things still need to be filled in on the card though as we’ve got less than two weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to open things up. Why is he always surprised that a British crowd is booing a loud American talking about how great his country is and bragging about being the champion of his country? After a quick look at Rusev’s attack on Monday, Cena goes over the rules of the Russian chain match, which is the four corners version. There’s a chance that he won’t even be in it though because he’s issuing another open challenge RIGHT NOW.

He gets Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya, but they’re not here to accept the challenge. Instead, they’re here to drop FACTS. Cena has been out here pandering to the crowd (fact!) and saying London deserves a Wrestlemania (fact!) but that’s a blatant lie. They think the “please retire” chants should have been directed at Cena, which the fans here don’t seem to agree with. Cena tells either guy to bring it on but cue Daniel Bryan to even things up.

Bryan has heard Cesaro and Kidd calling themselves the greatest champions in WWE today but he’d like to ask the fans what they think. When he gets to himself he changes it to being the most handsome man in WWE. That gets a mixed reaction, so Bryan just asks for the tag match to get the fans back on his side. Kidd quickly accepts so we can have the Tag Team Champions lose twice in four days. As a consolation prize, they’ve got something with that FACT line.

Neville vs. Sheamus tonight. That would be the third World Champion he’s fought out of the four opponents he’s faced.

Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth

Lawler calls this a rare in ring appearance for Wyatt. That’s true as it’s been a whole week since we last saw him wrestle on Smackdown. Truth hammers away and actually puts Bray down. We get the pelvic thrust but Bray spiders up and nails an uppercut. The chokeslam is countered so Wyatt just runs him over and hits Sister Abigail for the pin at 1:38. That’s the fifth time Bray has squashed Truth on TV in just over a year.

We look back at the Divas battle royal on Monday and Naomi jumping Paige post match, sending her off to film a movie.

This week’s WWE.com interview is with Roman Reigns, who says he’s going to get back up every time Big Show puts him down. He’s speaking in just above a whisper.

Here’s Miz with something to say. Mizdow got lucky on Monday because he made Mizdow what he is, just like he made Summer Rae and the Marine 4 into a soon to be success. Cue Bad News Barrett who says we’re in London tonight. The fans aren’t here to see a pretend movie star, because they want to see the future six time Intercontinental Champion.

Miz vs. Bad News Barrett

Miz spends 27 seconds taking off his sunglasses and turns into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 34 seconds. I think the fans have forgotten Monday’s loss to Cena.

We recap Orton and Rollins on Raw with both guys winning matches to earn a stipulation for the title match at Extreme Rules.

Damien Mizdow and Summer Rae are with Renee Young and celebrate the win on Monday when Miz comes in. He isn’t cool with Mizdow using his gimmick, but Summer says Mizdow does Miz better than Miz. Mizdow takes off his sunglasses and starts imitating Miz again before challenging Miz to one more match on Monday for the whole Miz character. Summer talks Miz into taking the match, pretty much guaranteeing that she turns on Mizdow. She slaps him for good measure.

Sheamus vs. Neville

Neville is now billed as sensational. Before the match, Sheamus says Neville is a tiny little man, just like Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler. He brags about being from the real Ireland and his people don’t like the English. Neville puts the mouthpiece in and is shoved into the corner for some forearms to the back. Some front flips give Neville some room to hit a running hurricanrana to send Sheamus outside for a twisting flip dive.

Back in and Sheamus rolls away before Neville can try the Red Arrow. Instead Neville dives at Sheamus but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam on the floor. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock but Sheamus picks him up for a suplex and just throws him down in a big crash. The Irish Curse plants Neville and we hit another chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long though and Neville avoids a charge, sending Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. A running kick to the face and the standing moonsault get two for Neville and Sheamus is staggered.

Neville breaks up the ten forearms and ducks a Brogue Kick before hitting a missile dropkick. A kick to the head in the corner sets up the Red Arrow but it’s a middle rope Phoenix Splash for two more instead. Now he goes up for the Red Arrow but gets crotched down, but Neville counters White Noise into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Sheamus clotheslines him out to the floor and drops him onto the announcers’ table for the DQ at 10:53.

Rating: B. I liked this far more than I was expecting to as Neville continues to be one of the best pushed rookies in a long time. A few months back, the rumors came in that he was going to be Mighty Mouse and I think people too that too literally. They saw it as something like the Hurricane when it was really going to be more like what Superstar Bill Dundee saw himself as: a guy who was about 5’7 but saw himself as 6’4.

Neville is a small guy who has been thrown out there with three World Champions and a former Intercontinental Champion but hasn’t backed down an inch. If they keep this up and have him start winning some of these matches, such as this one here, fans are going to stop seeing him as an underdog and start seeing him as an equal. In other words, they’re going past the period of wasting him in squash matches and throw him right into the big time. You don’t see that too often these days but it might work wonders for him.

The key here though was Sheamus didn’t squash Neville and then lose on a fluke. Neville was going move for move with Sheamus here and had some near falls. It wasn’t like Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick and threw an unconscious Neville over the table for the DQ. Neville came off like he could hang with Sheamus, which is quite the accomplishment for someone headlining NXT house shows a month ago. I’m excited about this guy and he could be something special if this keeps up.

Sheamus throws him back inside and drives knees into his head until Dolph Ziggler comes out for the save. Sheamus bails but Ziggler grabs the mic and says no one from the Germans to the Bronies to the Irish like Sheamus. Ziggler is going to stand up to Sheamus but Sheamus tells him what he can kiss. He means it literally though, because they’re having a Kiss Me Arse match at Extreme Rules. To recap: Neville vs. Sheamus and Ziggler were entertaining matches but the match between the two stars has a comedy stipulation. I think I prefer it that way actually.

Los Matadores vs. New Day

Big E.’s entrance: “OH O2! It may not be the USA but I guess it’ll do!” Diego chops Big E. to start but gets stomped down in the corner. You can tell New Day is officially heel now as they’re in the bottom right hand corner of the ring and that’s where heels always stand. Off to Kofi who walks into a jawbreaker and springboards into a shot to the ribs. Fernando gets two off a rollup and everything breaks down. Trouble in Paradise drops Diego as Torito armdrags Woods. The Midnight Hour ends Fernando at 2:33.

We recap Fandango dumping Rosa.

In the back, Fandango reiterates that Rosa is dumped. He leaves and the Rosebuds run by in a scene that only makes sense in wrestling or on Monty Python. Rose says Rosa can be #1 again in a certain somebody’s life. Think about it.

Here’s Big Show with something to say. This past Monday proved that English people suck because they don’t appreciate the fact that he’s the best giant of all time. No one in the world, including Roman Reigns, can stop him. Show doesn’t answer to anyone but the Authority because he doesn’t see Reigns as anything but a victim of an automobile crash.

This Monday, it was the car getting hit by Reigns and we see a clip of Show throwing him at the car. Then he kneed Roman in the head, complete with clip. The chokeslam on top of the car gets the same treatment to really stretch this out. Show sits on top of the car and shows us a clip of Reigns walking off under his own power. That’s not cool with Big Show, so it’s a last man standing match at Extreme Rules. Man, if there’s one thing that the least interesting feud in the world needed, it was a six minute segment from one of the most boring talkers in years. That’s got my money for sure.

Cameron vs. Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

I sit through a Big Show promo and my reward is a Cameron match??? Cameron gets double teamed to start and knocked to the floor. Fox bails to the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter but Cameron comes back in with a rollup for two on Natalya. It’s Fox taking over by running over both girls with clotheslines, only to get taken down for Natalya’s stepover into the basement dropkick for two. A superkick drops Cameron for two but she gets in a forearm to Fox’s jaw.

Cameron makes the mistake of going up though and gets caught in the top of a Tower of Doom to put everyone down. Fox is thrown outside, leaving Cameron to trade rollups with Natalya for two each. Believe it or not, Cameron doesn’t horribly botch anything! She’s improving! Natalya puts Cameron in the Sharpshooter, then does the same to Fox, only to break it up to throw Cameron outside. Fox kicks her in the face and nails the ax kick but Cameron throws Fox to the floor and pins Natalya at 4:45.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but they’re really pushing Cameron as something now? Their idea to make us care about the Divas is to have Cameron and the Bellas getting pushed? Oh and Paige is going on vacation and Naomi is now a heel. Natalya is heel as well so who in the world is left as a face? Alicia? Emma? Summer? I’m blanking on anyone else.

Post match Alicia throws a fit so I guess we really are down to just Emma and Summer (I’m guessing until Monday) as face Divas. Really, who else is there?

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Fandango scores with an early dropkick and clotheslines Rose to the floor for a slingshot dive. Rosa comes out to yell at Fandango, allowing Rose to baseball slide him down. Back in and Adam looks at Rosa, setting up the rollup to give Fandango the pin at 1:24.

Bray Wyatt asks what happens when you lose it all. Eventually you’re going to be all alone with nothing but regret. You should be more careful because the reaper walks in the daylight.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

Cena and his black eye start against Kidd with John shoving him down. It’s off to Cesaro for a test of strength but Kidd gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. He comes back in legally for a front facelock, followed by a spinning kick to the face for two. Cesaro knocks Bryan off the apron to break up a hot tag attempt and gets two off a suplex.

Cena sends Cesaro into the corner and Kidd out to the floor but Tyson pulls Bryan off the apron. The STF on Cesaro is quickly broken up behind the referee’s back and Kidd hits a low dropkick to Cena for two. Cena hits a quick backdrop (totally different than the AA of course) and the hot tag finally brings in Bryan.

A series of right hands sets up the moonsault out of the corner but he hits a running boot through the ropes instead of the Flying Goat to Cesaro. There are the YES Kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Both Tag Team Champs get YES Kicks but Bryan has to yell at Natalya. Kidd accidentally knocks her off the apron and into Cesaro, allowing Bryan to YES Lock Kidd for the win at 7:49.

Rating: C. Oh yeah they’re protecting Bryan. Other than being pulled off the apron and a rollup by Kidd, Bryan was never hit with any offensive moves. About 90% of his offense was strikes and the only high spots were that hurricanrana and the moonsault. The match was fine, but they really had to make the champs lose clean for the second time in a week? You can’t do a countout or something?

Bryan and Cena celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Neville vs. Sheamus was good but this was a very skippable show otherwise. It’s so sad to see Bryan’s neck flaring up so soon and it’s clear he can’t do much at the moment. I thought the worries about the neck were keeping him out of the main event and if that’s the case, WWE seems to have been justified in not going with him so soon.

The rest of the show was nothing much to see, but I’m really interested to see how they get out of this mess with the Divas. Either someone is being called up or Paige is going to be very busy in the near future, as I really don’t think anyone but maybe Emma is still a face on the main roster and most of the heels were recently turned. Nothing show here but Extreme Rules is coming up soon, meaning we can hopefully get away from the Wrestlemania rematches.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail

Bad News Barrett b. Miz – Bull Hammer

Neville b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus threw him ono the announcers’ table

New Day b. Los Matadores – Midnight Hour to Fernando

Cameron b. Alicia Fox and Natalya – Cameron pinned Natalya after an ax kick from Fox

Fandango b. Adam Rose – Rollup

John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – YES Lock to Kidd

Smackdown
Date: April 9, 2015
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

For the second week in a row, the advertised big match is Sheamus/Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan and that’s really all there is to talk about here. Raw ended with Orton becoming #1 contender to Rollins’ title after beating Ryback and Reigns in a triple threat. Tonight we might see the Extreme Rules card take more shape as Smackdown gets to announce a match every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. He says it was one of the highlights of his career to climb that ladder and win the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. However, the actions of the man make the title (which says Intercontinental Heavyweight Wrestling Champion. I bet Vince is FURIOUS at the belt over that), so Bryan wants to defend this title against anyone who wants a shot.

That’s what he did after Wrestlemania against Dolph Ziggler, but Sheamus come out looking all stupid with a Brogue Kick to the face. So last week he fought Sheamus, but somewhere in the match he saw Wade (first time hearing that name in a while) Barrett….and now we all see Barrett on the ramp. He says he ended Bryan’s magical week with a Bull Hammer, and the fiendish gleam on Barrett’s face during that line is great. This brings out Sheamus to say he followed it up with a Brogue Kick.

Sheamus tolerates Barrett because he isn’t a munchkin like Bryan, so the two of them should come down there and give Bryan a beating because they can. They get in the ring but Ziggler comes out to call Sheamus the offspring of Captain Jack Sparrow and Carrot Top. The fight is about to be on but here’s Big Show because ruining main events just isn’t enough for him anymore. Big Show wants in on this beatdown but here’s Roman Reigns to even things up. A quick fight likely makes the tag match a six man. I’ll take that over a spontaneous match. They’ve got something with this tag team feud with the title thrown in.

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Non-title with the New Day getting booed out of the building on the entrances. It’s a good sign that WWE has quickly caught onto the reality that no one likes them and is already starting to turn them. There’s an idea to the team but it’s just working as presented. Big E. wants everyone to get up and clap along with them so that’s exactly what they do, but with the SUCKS part added in. That makes Big E. think something has to change and that the fans have to love them. Woods is the odd man out here.

Kofi and Kidd get things going with Tyson taking him into the corner for some forearms before it’s off to Cesaro. He mocks the clapping and gets the crowd going again as the champions are the default good guys here. Kofi low bridges Cesaro to the floor and Big E. launches Kofi to the floor to take out the champs as we take a break. Back with Big E. suplexing Kidd but needing a tag. Cesaro breaks up a tag though and rag dolls Big E. into a gutwrench suplex. That’s scary strength.

Back to Tyson for some knees to the back as Lawler is talking more than I’ve heard him do in months. Big E. finally shoves Cesaro off but misses a charge into the post for two. There’s the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick from Tyson for two more with Kofi making the save. E. knocks Cesaro out of the air and makes the hot tag so Kofi can clean house with dropkicks and shots to the head. The Boom Drop sets up more clapping and sucking as everything breaks down. Kidd grabs a fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin on Kofi at 10:00.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but it could have been far worse. They need to turn New Day soon and thankfully we seem well on the way to that point. Cesaro and Kidd are starting to establish themselves as a really good heel team, which is something we haven’t seen in a long time.

Recap of Monday’s triple threat and the events that led up to it.

Free Network month shill. Remember when you had to pay for that?

Curtis Axel vs. Neville

In case you didn’t get enough of it the first time ten days ago. Axel wants to know what Neville is going to do when Axelmania runs wild on him. Neville flips around to start and grabs an armdrag but gets caught with a knee to the ribs. Neville’s front flips lead to Axel charging into a boot in the corner, followed by a running forearm. The spinning dive over the ropes takes Axel out again and it’s a slam followed by the Red Arrow for the pin at 2:17. That’s the same match they had on Raw after Wrestlemania.

Natalya, Cameron and Alicia Fox insist they didn’t try to con Kane into the Divas battle royal on Raw. Naomi deserves the shot and all but Cameron says she’s going to win. Alicia asks how long Cameron has been here and it’s been THREE YEARS??? She’s this bad after THREE YEARS??? Alicia and Natalya get in a fight.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Cameron is guest referee so we can see her be horrible at something besides wrestling. To her credit, she found a referee’s cut off top and changed in the span of a commercial. It’s a catfight to start and they trade slaps until Cameron breaks up a fight next to the ropes. Natalya does her step over into the dropkick spot for two but Fox hits something like the Helluva Kick to take over. Fox’s northern lights suplex gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a cross body gets two for Natalya and the Sharpshooter gets the win at 3:41.

Rating: D+. As you may have noticed, there was a lot of play by play here. Here’s the reason why: these people have no characters. Cameron is close with the stuck up chick who only cares about herself, but Alicia is just Alicia and Natalya is just a veteran and serious wrestler. There’s nowhere to go with those characters as there’s nothing that stands out about them. The same is true for most of the Divas. Even Summer is just there as the dancing stuff is gone. I’m not saying we need to go back to the days of GLOW, but something would be nice.

Cameron lays both of them out with DDTs post match.

Bray Wyatt narrates a video about Erick Rowan, who was a child in a man’s world. How could society do what they’ve done to him? They took away Rowan’s innocence and we’re all guilty, even though we don’t know it. Bray has fixed him and now Rowan is free. We might have seen this video when the Family split up last year. If nothing else it’s cool to see a video like this to set up the matches later. What happened to the days of promos to set stuff up? It doesn’t have to have high production values. Just a quick promo from backstage would be fine.

Here’s Bray in the ring for his match but first he talks about remembering the days when Erick Rowan was lost. Society saw all of Rowan’s flaws but Bray saw possibilities. “Yes Erick, you too can job to Big Show.” The fans give Bray the WHAT treatment as he talks about being Rowan’s brother. He fixed Erick like you fix a broken toy and then set him free. Society has returned Rowan to Bray and he’s broken all over again. Tonight Bray is going to teach Rowan one last lesson: no matter what, trust no one because evil is inside of us all. If he’ll destroy someone he called his brother, imagine what he’ll do to you.

Bray Wyatt vs. Erick Rowan

Bray tells him to bring it on to start so Erick runs over him to knock Wyatt outside. Back in and Bray grabs him by the beard but you don’t do that to a former genius. What you do instead is send Rowan into the post and then knock him off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Rowan fighting out of a chinlock but the backsplash hits knees. Rowan hits some running splashes in the corner for two but Bray rolls outside when Erick goes up top. That works better for Bray as he takes Rowan’s head off with a clothesline and follows up with the backsplash. The Rock Bottom doesn’t work but Wyatt takes him down with the flying body block. Sister Abigail ends Erick at 9:34.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here for the most part but I like that they’re giving the Wyatts what seems to be some closure. Either that or they’re repackaging Rowan into something else. I was interested in the genius gimmick but that was sacrificed on the alter of Big Show, next to Hideo Itami. Bray needs something to do now that the Undertaker match is over. I’d love to see him actually win a feud against a top name for a change too.

Bray cradles Rowan’s head post match.

It’s time for a special movie edition of MizTV. We see the trailer for Marine 4 but before Miz can get anywhere else, his co-star Summer Rae cuts him off. They get in an argument over who was the real star of the movie with Summer calling him a co-star and Miz calling her a featured extra. Summer brings up Mizdow eliminating him from the battle royal and the fans chant his name.

Miz asks if the fans know the backstory of Damien Sandow. He was fired twice until Miz saved his career and gave him a purpose. Cue Mizdow but Miz cuts him off and says Mizdow is going to go on a steep decline. These people can’t get him on track but Miz is capable and willing to because he’s a charitable person. He’ll do it for an apology and everything can go back to the way it was.

All Mizdow has to do to get everything back is shake Miz’s hand and apologize. Hey now, quit adding things to the rules. Miz asks whose hands Mizdow wants his career in, because the people will drop him in a heartbeat. Damien apologizes…..for not doing this earlier and the beating is on. Miz leaves so Mizdow kisses Summer, who seems to like it.

Video on WWE taking over the Bay Area for Wrestlemania weekend.

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show/Sheamus/Bad News Barrett

I guess because the original four needed star power to carry them? Sheamus and Ziggler get things going with the Irishman taking Dolph into the corner for a right hand to the ribs from Big Show. A big chop puts Ziggler down as Dolph is firmly into his standard style. Dolph dropkicks the knee out and gets two off the running DDT, only to get chopped out of the corner. Barrett comes in for the first time and slaps on a chinlock but the fans are already cheering for Dolph to get out.

Winds of Change gets two but Ziggler flips over Sheamus and dives into the tag to Bryan. The YES Kicks have Sheamus in trouble and Daniel backdrops him to the floor for the Flying Goat. They’re moving in this one so far. As Bryan throws Sheamus back in, Barrett gets up and kicks Daniel in the head as we take a break. Back with Bryan getting slammed by Big Show and a huge elbow getting two. Barrett comes in for another chinlock as the fans sound like they want Roman.

Show breaks up a hot tag attempt but his chokeslam is countered into the YES Lock. This time it’s Sheamus making the save and trying a superplex, only to get knocked off by Bryan. Daniel’s cross body is caught but he spins into a DDT and makes the hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with Superman Punches as everything breaks down. Ziggler and Sheamus go to the floor and Bryan hits Show with the running knee. The spear out of the corner gives Reigns the pin on Barrett at 15:18.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here with everyone moving quickly and putting in some efforts. It’s interesting to see that Reigns is back to his old style and looking cool after not having the Wrestlemania main event looming over him. I think people are going to like him better when he’s not out there against the most popular guy in the company and now that he’s been able to give us something to connect to. Now if only they could get him completely away from Big Show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty basic but well done show with decent wrestling and some midcard storyline development. That’s about all you can ask for from Smackdown these days as the illusion of the move back to Thursdays making the show matter is long gone. I do like that tag feud revolving around the Intercontinental Title though as it’s something that could go somewhere if they let it get interesting. Not bad this week but nothing great.

Results

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Kingston

Neville b. Curtis Axel – Red Arrow

Natalya b. Alicia Fox – Sharpshooter

Bray Wyatt b. Erick Rowan – Sister Abigail

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus/Big Show/Bad News Barrett – Spear to Barrett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 2, 2015
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

It was nice while it lasted but this is the final part of the big Wrestlemania week. Tonight is likely going to be the last major shows for now as Smackdown will go back to being the supplemental show it’s been for years. There isn’t much in the way of fallout tonight either as Raw ended without a huge bang. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Rollins and company for a chat. Rollins loves it when a plan works out, like when he cashed in Money in the Bank this past Sunday to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Now he’s living a new life and doing things like flying across the country to be on the Today Show, then flying back across the country to face Brock Lesnar. That gave him some serious jet lag though and it wasn’t time for Lesnar to get his rematch. If Lesnar hadn’t lost his head, maybe he could have had that title shot here tonight.

Cue Randy Orton, who says he remembers everything over the last few months. He played the Authority like a fiddle (a very stupid fiddle) before he got to rip Rollins’ head off with an RKO at Wrestlemania. More importantly though, he’s owed a rematch for the WWE from last year’s Wrestlemania and doesn’t like how that belt looks around Rollins’ waist. Seth wants to know why Randy is dwelling in the past, because he is the future.

Only Rollins gets to decide when the title is defended, which makes Orton insult the Stooges, Big Show and Kane for some reason. At least Big Show won at Wrestlemania while Kane wasn’t even there (he was in the battle royal). What does the Director of Operations do anyway? The way Orton sees it, Kane has gone from the big red monster to Big Red Riding Hood. Kane makes Orton vs. Big Show and offers Orton a potential title shot if he can win.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Orton quickly gets shouldered down but avoids an elbow drop. Show tries to get to the apron but winds up getting pulled into the elevated DDT. Cue the Stooges to break up an RKO attempt for the DQ at 1:19.

Everyone comes in but Randy fights back at Rollins, only to get chokeslammed by Kane. Ryback runs out for the save and it’s RKO’s all around.

We recap Bryan vs. Ziggler from Raw and Sheamus returning after the match. Who in the world thought that hair would be called anything but stupid? I mean, they had to know that reaction was coming right?

Sheamus vs. Bryan tonight, because they can’t keep the matches they set up on Monday straight for twenty four hours.

Natalya vs. Naomi

The Bellas are on commentary. Naomi’s inset interview says she can beat Nikki and win the title but she’ll prove herself until she gets a shot. Feeling out process to start with both girls missing dropkicks but nipping up at the same time. That’s rather impressive in Natalya’s full body outfit. Natalya puts her down for the step on the back into the basement dropkick for two as the Bellas question Naomi’s heart. We hit an abdominal stretch for a bit before Naomi is sent to the apron for a kick to Natalya’s head. She puts Natalya in a headscissors but drives her head first into the mat instead of flipping her over for the pin at 2:20.

Rollins apologizes to Kane for the RKO but Kane likes the sound of Orton challenging for the title at Extreme Rules. Seth tries to talk him out of it but stops to comment on the smell of the office. He leaves and we hear a toilet flush and Ambrose walks in. Harper vs. Ambrose later tonight because of the use of a bathroom. Seriously.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns, who talks about how hard it was to step in the ring with the Beast. He proved he was willing to take a beating and showed he could get up after a bunch of suplexes. Reigns talks about Suplex City but he survived the wave from Lesnar. He’s thinking about buying a condo in Suplex City because Lesnar wasn’t ready for him. Brock didn’t have an answer for all the Superman Punches and they changed his appearance permanently.

The fight changed both of their lives and he’d love to do it again. Saxton asks about Rollins cashing in and Reigns says it crushed him. He was on top of the mountain and Rollins took it away when Reigns was so close. Thirty more seconds and a spear would have won him the World Title. He’s beaten Rollins before so he can, he has and he will beat him again. I liked this more than any other interview I’ve heard from Reigns in a long time as it makes him much easier to relate to now that he’s been humbled a bit. Good interview.

Miz vs. R-Truth

Truth raps to the ring. I don’t remember him doing that for the last few weeks. The first ten seconds are spent with Miz taking off his sunglasses and the second ten seconds are spent on WE WANT MIZDOW chants. Truth shoves Miz off a headlock and hits the Lie Detector. The ax kick misses though and the Skull Crushing Finale is good for the pin at 1:22. Welcome back to Jobber Town Truth.

Mizdow runs out for a Skull Crushing Finale on Miz and puts on the sunglasses.

Here’s John Cena to one of the loudest positive reactions I’ve seen for him in a long time (yeah I know it’s Smackdown). Cena talks about how hard Rusev fought to stay undefeated for a year but seeing Rusev as the US Champion made him sick. It wasn’t due to being Russian, but because of all the things Rusev said about America. The interesting thing is that Rusev was the American dream: he showed up and fought to became everything he wanted to be, but then he thought America sucked. “WELL AMERICA DOESN’T SUCK!”

From now on, this US Title represents opportunity. Cena says bring him your outcasts, your future stars or anyone that the Authority says is a B+ player. He’ll fight anyone from Brock Lesnar to the Bushwhackers (hey now, they’re Hall of Famers) because every Monday night, there’s going to be an open challenge for the US Title. Now THAT is the best news that has happened for the title in a long time.

Cue Rusev and Lana, the latter of whom sounds like she’s lost a bit of her accent. She says Cena is half the man Rusev is because this is Rusev’s world. Rusev cuts her off by reaching out his hand for the microphone. With a glare at Lana, he says he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania so he’s still America’s champion.

In Rusev’s world, people like Cena have opportunities as well: surrender the title or be crushed at Extreme Rules. Cena thinks Rusev is drunk but if the Russian wants a fight, Cena isn’t going anywhere. Rusev wants to wait for Extreme Rules and calls for the flag drop but nothing happens. Instead Cena points and the American flag drops. I’m kind of stunned it took that long to do that. Cena agrees to the match at Extreme Rules. The announcers keep pushing Rusev as the Russian Tank, which isn’t a bad name for him.

We look at Sheamus attacking Bryan again. The tag match is off due to Ziggler being too banged up to compete. And they didn’t know that when they announced the tag match?

Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose

No entrance for Harper. Dean goes right after him in the corner and a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A basement clothesline gets two so Harper just hits him in the throat to take over. It turns into a slugout (shocking I know) until Luke catches a cross body and throws him over the top as we take a break. Back with Dean’s suicide dive being caught so he nails a clothesline on the floor.

The top rope standing elbow gets two but Luke kicks his head off to take over again. Dean escapes the powerbomb and low bridges Harper to the floor. Luke quickly sends him into the timekeeper’s area and loads up the table but Dean dives off the apron with a clothesline. He can’t powerbomb Luke through the table though so Luke shows him how it’s done. The bell doesn’t ring but I’m assuming it was a DQ win for Dean (or a double countout) at about 8:00.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth brawl here with both guys hitting each other really hard. Harper is great in the old Kane role from about 2004 as the midcard monster and Ambrose is fine as the guy who keeps getting beaten up and coming back for more. If nothing else it’s nice to have a match be long enough to rate.

The Prime Time Players make fun of the New Day, with Titus spraying himself with water and shouting about FEELING THE POWER. Big E. sounds like he has a possum stuck in his throat, Kofi has a weird looking chest and Woods has bad hair. They do the New Day chant and crickets can be heard. If nothing else, I love the Prime Time Players shirts based on the old Prime Time Wrestling logo.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title. Sheamus has new music with a slower pace and no lyrics. After seeing the “I’m back” line for the third time tonight, the fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid. Sheamus encourages them and says he doesn’t see any real men around here. All the fan favorites are too vertically challenged and he’s going to crush all the underdogs. So he’s Batista from last year? Barrett is on commentary.

Sheamus shoves him into the corner to start and shrugs off Bryan’s kick to the ribs. Bryan has some more success with the leg but Sheamus drops him with a clothesline. As Sheamus fires off uppercuts, Barrett says he never lost the title and is owed a rematch. That makes Rock, Orton, Bryan, Rusev and Barrett who are owed automatic rematches. It’s almost like they’re completely overusing a plot device.

Bryan scores with some kicks to send Sheamus outside but he comes back in for an Irish Curse to send Bryan to the floor as well. We come back from a break with Sheamus loading up a suplex but flipping Bryan over instead of going down with him. You might remember that as the Crash Landing from the final month of WCW. Sheamus: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???”

Bryan tries some forearms to no avail and gets thrown hard into the corner. Some posing allows Bryan to get a breather though and he moonsaults over Sheamus before dropping him with the running clothesline. A backdrop sends Sheamus to the floor for the Flying Goat. The missile dropkick and it’s time for the YES Kicks. As usual the big one misses but Sheamus can’t hit White Noise.

Bryan sends him into the buckle and kicks the ropes to knock Sheamus back, only to get crotched on the top. The ten forearms are broken up as Bryan grabs Sheamus’ arm. Why did no one ever think of that before? Sheamus knocks him to the floor and onto the announcers’ table, busting Bryan open. Barrett hits a Bull Hammer behind the referee’s back for a countout at 15:33.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as I was expecting as Sheamus is still working the kinks out of his new character. He isn’t doing much besides big power moves, but at least he’s getting on the crowd’s nerves like he should be. Bryan was doing his usual stuff as well, but the match just never got going like you would expect it to.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was nice while it lasted but everything is back to normal in WWE. There wasn’t much to see here other than the announcement of a B level pay per view main event and another rematch from Wrestlemania. The show wasn’t terrible, but it really falls off a cliff after the hot shows earlier in the week.

Results

Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered

Naomi b. Natalya – Headscissors driver

Miz b. R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale

Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper powerbombed him through a table

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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This one didn’t take long.

This is on the pre-show this year and I can’t say I’m surprised. The other day I saw someone say that this is just the same battle royal they had on the pre-show for years and he was exactly right. Yeah last year’s was cool with Hogan endorsing it and Cesaro getting what should have been the star of a major push for him, but instead it would up being the catch all match for the people that couldn’t get on the show anywhere else.

I won’t bother listing off everyone in the match (only twenty this year, as it probably should be) but here are the names that matter: Miz, Mizdow, Kane, Big Show, Ryback, Mark Henry. Other than that everyone is a jobber or Hideo Itami making his main roster debut. The interesting thing is there’s no spot for Sheamus, who I would have had winning the thing. However, now that he’s not an option, it makes for a more wide open (or as wide as you can get with six guys as potential winners) field.

The only really interesting story for anyone in the match is between Miz and Mizdow, but the problem with FINALLY turning Mizdow here is if he doesn’t win, what difference does it make? Unfortunately I have no faith in the writers to realize this so I don’t think Miz or Mizdow goes over here.

Kane, Big Show and Mark Henry……just no. Henry would be the best choice of the three and I think I’ve covered why I never want to see Big Show or Kane win a match again as long as they live. None of these guys need to win this though and there’s no point in putting any of them over the younger guys. Let someone look good in eliminating them and leave it at that.

That brings us to the two people I could see winning. First and foremost, I really don’t think Itami gets it. He comes off more like an entrant to put in there so they don’t have to put Neville or Balor in the match and have them lose before their callups in the very near future. Itami will probably get a kicking demonstration, but he isn’t going to make it to the final three.

Therefore, I’m going with Ryback. He’s been on a pretty good roll lately and they seem somewhat serious about making him into a big guy (see what I did there?) again. It doesn’t help that I’m still a fan of the guy and would like to see him get as close back to where he was before the WE HAVE TO KEEP THE TITLE ON PUNK BECAUSE WE BOOK THINGS SEVEN MONTHS IN ADVANCE NOW booking cut his legs off. Something tells me I’m wrong on this, but it’s more what I want to see than anything else.

Keep in mind that my pick instantly changes to Sheamus should he be in it, which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. What would however be the worst thing in the world is if they don’t do SOMETHING with Curtis Axel in this. I know he won’t and shouldn’t win, but have him do something to play up all the responses he’s gotten since the Rumble. You have something there, so run with it, even if it’s just a short sprint.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Wrestlemania XXVII
Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews

This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.

Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.

The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.

As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.

Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.

We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.

Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.

Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.

Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.

Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella

Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.

Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.

He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.

We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.

BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!

Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.

Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.

We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.

Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.

Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?

Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.

Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.

Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.

Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.

And then it happens.

We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.

We get a video on Wrestlemania week.

We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.

HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.

HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.

A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.

HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.

Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.

Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.

Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: C

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B

Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Miz vs. John Cena

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/wrestlemania-27-not-sure-on-this-one/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

With two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, normally the idea would be to cram as much of a build as you can into the final weeks, but by this point it’s just too late for me. There hasn’t been enough good stuff to set up this coming Wrestlemania to make me really care about it. However, the last two shows before the biggest night of the year are always worth checking out so maybe these could be good. Let’s get to it.

The Authority was in the ring to open the show and Rollins yelled at them all for allowing his beatdown last week. Rollins accepted Orton’s challenge for Wrestlemania but they had to fight tonight first. Good grief just let them have a street fight or whatever and get on with it. Oh wait we can’t do that because EXTREME RULES is right after Wrestlemania. There are a lot of problems with Wrestlemania this year but this one might be the worst for the entire show. I mean……just dang man.

Between the botched return of Orton and wasting our time with the infiltration because where else was that story possibly going? That’s why I didn’t like it. There was ZERO need for it other than to add in needless “drama” before wasting Orton’s big beating of Rollins which could have been saved for Wrestlemania. Oh and Stephanie getting to yell at Orton and everyone else because she’s Stephanie and therefore above everyone else. I need to get off this before I go on about it for two hours.

Nikki beat AJ with the Rack Attack in one of the longest Divas matches I’ve seen in a long time. It’s just setting up the tag match and trying to make Nikki look better, but the commentary still makes my head hurt in that Vickie Guerrero way instead of the “dang she’s a good villain” way.

Kane and Big Show teased tension with Rollins and I’m sure this is completely legit and not part of a not so hidden plan.

Ryback beat Miz. AGAIN. I have no desire to see these guys in the ring ever again. Miz beat Mizdow up post match. Our hero of course.

The contract signing for Rusev vs. Cena was about Rusev insulting America and Cena talking about how serious this match was. Oh and of course there was a horrible Russian lawyer, who JBL was told to bury on commentary and make the whole thing a comedy bit after Cena talked about how important this whole thing was, because the people who run this show have the attention span of drunken gnats. Rip on his for the rest of the show or whatever if you REALLY have to, but let the serious stuff be serious.

Cesaro and Kidd beat the New Day and Los Matadores came out for a brawl. Not really the best but it’s just for the preshow match.

Rollins threw the Stooges out for the night.

Brock had a sitdown interview to show that he’s far clearer on his character than Reigns. Lesnar is here to destroy people and dominate while Reigns is here for his family because he can do it. Whatever that’s supposed to mean/or for whatever reason I’m supposed to care about him.

Big Show beat up Rowan. Again. Just put the Family back together again if this is the best you can do with someone who looks that freaky.

Larry Zbyszko is going into the Hall of Fame. Not the worst idea, but who is supposed to be the second big name behind Savage? Arnold? That’s the best they’ve got?

A bunch of midcarders had an unofficial mini battle royal with Mark Henry standing tall. Not that it matters as Sheamus is probably winning the thing but this was short and acceptable.

Heyman and Reigns had the same exchange they’ve had like five times now. Again, Lesnar and Reigns not being together in this build since the snowed in Raw is KILLING this story as Heyman is just out of ways to say “Lesnar is going to beat you up.”

The Intercontinental Title match people minus R-Truth had a long six man tag with the bad guys losing. Not much to see here but it was fine. Barrett wound up getting his belt back.

You might be noticing a pattern emerging here but Bray Wyatt said the exact same thing, though this time he was nice enough to mention Abigail for the first time in like, ever.

No match between Rollins and Orton (I would say duh but given this company lately….) because it was a SWERVE. Sting came out for an admittedly awesome save, but I need to hear Sting talk for a change. And not some voiceover that longtime fans ignored to say “that’s not Sting’s voice.”

That last issue highlights the biggest problem this show has: people not showing up/not talking. Lesnar has only had a hand full of promos, Sting has had a voice distorted speech and Undertaker lit a chair on fire. HHH, Heyman and Wyatt can all talk, but they can only repeat themselves so many times before there’s nothing left to say, and we reached that point around Fast Lane.

As for the show…..it exists. There’s nothing interesting on most of the last shows before Wrestlemania and they’re a great way to tell how well the build has gone. By this point you’re either dying for Sunday to get here or indifferent to the show. Unfortunately I’m the latter, but it’s gotten better in recent weeks. The build here is terrible though and there isn’t much they can do at this point to save it.

Since next week is Wrestlemania, I probably won’t be doing one of these for the next show. I mean…..is ANYONE going to care about a detailed recap of the last Raw before Wrestlemania?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 12, 2015
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

It should be interesting to see if this week’s show continues Smackdown’s recent focus on the Intercontinental Title. After all the weeks of World Title build on Raw, it’s nice to have something a bit different on the other show, if nothing else just to avoid the fatigue of seeing the same things over and over again. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to get things going. He thanks the fans for their kindness and says he’s been trying to ignore that Wrestlemania sign since Fast Lane. It’s become clear to him that he can’t repeat what happened last year at Wrestlemania, but when one door closes, another door opens.

A few weeks ago, he was surrounded by people fighting for the Intercontinental Championship and it got him thinking about his heroes. People like Mr. Perfect, Ricky Steamboat, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and Randy Savage. When they were fighting for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania, it was more exciting than anything happening in the World Title division. Wrestlemania VIII would disagree with you Bryan.

He’s officially in the ladder match this year though and the fans are very pleased. This brings out Bad News Barrett who reminds us that he’s still the champion and will still be after Wrestlemania. Dolph Ziggler comes out to disagree but he does say Bryan is his hero. Barrett may be the champion but he can’t even hang onto the belt. How could he possibly do that with six other guys throwing him off ladders at Wrestlemania?

Cue Harper to say he wants his Wrestlemania moment. That sounds so wrong coming from someone like Harper. He should be more like old school Cactus Jack who just does stuff for the sake of violence. Dean Ambrose comes out to a very loud reaction to say every one of them should be locked up if they think they can fight without inviting him. He even knows a good place they can be held for observation if need be.

Now it’s Stardust who grabs a mic and looks under the ring for the white stallion of the Milky Way. He wants the ivory enterprise, but instead gets R-Truth with the burlap sack. Truth pulls out the belt and calls it a beaut. He thinks the title has been passed around enough so he’s going to hold it until Wrestlemania when he climbs that ladder. Barrett cuts him off but Truth calls him sizzle chest. A brawl finally breaks out and it’s Ziggler, Ambrose and Bryan left standing.

Usos/New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro/Los Matadores

Big E. is on the floor this time and Los Matadores confirm their heel turn in an inset interview where they say they’ll do whatever it takes to have their Wrestlemania moment. Not win the titles mind you but have their moment. Kofi and Diego get things going with the masked man stomping away in the corner. Kingston dropkicks him down for two and it’s quickly off to Woods. The intelligence doesn’t seem warmed up yet as Diego drags him into the corner for the tag to Fernando.

Jimmy tags himself in, much to Woods’ annoyance. Hey dude get over it. You kind of suck in the ring. Diego offers a distraction to break up the Whisper in the Wind and Jimmy gets crotched on the top. We take a break and come back with with Diego jumping on Jimmy’s back on the ropes and putting on a chinlock. Jerry: “What do you call a matador with a rubber toe? Roberto!” Jimmy fights up and makes the hot tag to Jimmy, leaving Cesaro to yell at Los Matadores.

Jey starts cleaning house but Kofi tags himself in for a springboard cross body for two on Kidd. Some heel miscommunication sends them to the floor and the good guys bust out dives, only to have Woods land on Jey. Again, he’s not that bright. Cesaro uppercuts Kofi through the ropes and Kidd loads up the fisherman’s neckbreaker, only to have Fernando tag himself in. Diego sneaks in with a Backstabber for the pin on Kofi at 8:40.

Rating: C+. This did its job and that’s almost all you can ask for out of a match like this. I’m assuming it’s another multi-team match at Wrestlemania, just like last year, but I’m not sure this one is going to be as good. It also says something that the Usos and Los Matadores are still in the match, just like Cesaro but with a different partner. You would think something would have changed by now. Still though, good way to set things up here.

Video on Sting vs. HHH.

Recap of Rusev vs. Cena from Monday.

Miz lists off his career accomplishments and says winning the battle royal will be the latest entry on that list. Mizdow is worried that Miz can’t beat Ryback tonight so Miz tells him to stay in the back, press his pants and get him a drink that is way too complicated to type.

Miz vs. Ryback

Ryback will have none of the sunglasses being taken off so he puts Miz on the top rope. A delayed suplex brings Miz right back down but he hammers Ryback into the ropes to take over. The fans want Mizdow as Ryback blocks a running boot and plants Miz with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock are good for the pin at 2:59. Ryback’s push continues to look strong.

Mizdow chuckles in the back.

Here’s Roman Reigns to respond to Paul Heyman’s comments from Raw. We get a quick clip of Heyman talking about Lesnar destroying Rock, Undertaker and Cena and promising Brock will do the same thing and worse to Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania. Reigns says Heyman thinks he knows his family but he’s just disrespecting them. Heyman thinks Reigns is three generations removed from cannibalism? Who thinks that? Reigns won’t take someone disrespecting his family and telling him he can’t when he can. He’ll win at Wrestlemania and do his family proud.

This brings out a slightly thinner Mark Henry, who thinks Reigns is either trying to be funny or he’s been hit in the head by one too many coconuts. He doesn’t like anyone talking about his heritage but Reigns needs to understand that Heyman has gotten under his skin. Mark knows who he is, and he’s been in the ring with Lesnar. Brock nearly killed him with the F5 on the floor and Mark doesn’t think Roman is ready for that.

Roman says with all due respect but Mark cuts him off and says Reigns has to earn respect around here. That’s enough for Roman as he goes to walk away but Mark spins him around and yells at Reigns for being a young buck that thinks he knows it all. That earns him a Superman Punch and a spear through the barricade.

Reigns is tired of hearing he can’t, because he can and he will. Believe that. The family heritage idea is better than nothing but it’s still not much of a connection to a guy like Reigns. However, being tired of being told he can’t do something and proving people wrong IS something people can connect to and the idea they probably should have gone for months ago.

We look back at Bray Wyatt’s speech from Monday and Undertaker lighting the chair on fire to accept the challenge.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Summer Rae/Cameron

Paige is so excited for this match that she took off the white shirt under her jacket between the walk through the back and the entrances. The Bellas are on commentary as you would probably expect. Paige kicks Cameron in the ribs to start and it’s off to AJ in about five seconds. AJ goes after Summer on the apron and gets nailed from behind by Cameron.

With two weeks before Wrestlemania, the Bellas are bragging about the ratings for Total Divas. Summer puts AJ in a chinlock as they FINALLY start talking about the upcoming tag match. Paige gets the tag and cleans house with her set of clotheslines, setting up the PTO for the tap out from Summer at 2:25.

Paige and AJ yell at the Bellas post match. My guess is they’re saying “TALK ABOUT WRESTLING! YOU’RE WRESTLERS!”

We look back at Reigns and Henry in case we have the attention span of a goldfish.

Henry says Reigns has made a believer out of him. He doesn’t think Reigns will beat Lesnar, but now he believes Reigns can. It’s a shame this wasn’t Sexual Chocolate as the old Henry would have certainly hit on Renee in her stomach revealing top here. Very fetching indeed.

We look at a Cricket Wireless event with Dolph Ziggler. He’s bringing some kids to Smackdown to be ringside.

Low and behold, the kids are here.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Randy Orton. He looks at the footage of Rollins curb stomping him a few months back and says that night changed him. We see him returning at Fast Lane but that wasn’t the best way to get his revenge. Instead he wove his way back into the Authority to gain their trust. This is really, really not making this horrible story make more sense.

He used Reigns to get closer to Rollins and this past Monday was reverse psychology. Apparently in WWE, reverse psychology is code for REALLY STUPID STORY. Orton explained getting rid of everyone else in the Authority, even though he had almost nothing to do with getting rid of Big Show or Mercury. Basically all he did was punch Noble.

Then he walked away from the tag and had fun beating Rollins up. Orton loved every single bit of hurting Rollins this past Monday and he let all of it out. He’s ready for the Authority’s retribution and is ready to challenge Rollins for Wrestlemania. Good for you Randy. You had a stupid plan in a stupid story that makes no sense when you actually think about it, but good for you.

Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler/Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper/Bad News Barrett/Stardust

Unfortunately no Truth on commentary here. Ambrose headlocks Barrett to start and runs him over with a running forearm. Off to Stardust vs. Ziggler with the painted one taking over in the corner. Cole talks about Stardust being like Gollum with the Intercontinental Title. To mix things up a bit, Saxton thinks Stardust is acting like Kim Kardashian. I’m going to move on to Bryan putting Stardust in the surfboard instead as it’s less painful than talking about that disturbing, hideous, nightmare inducing creature. It’s easier than talking about Gollum too.

Stardust gets out and hammers on Bryan in the corner but gets taken down by a hurricanrana. The threat of a running knee sends Stardust running to the floor and we take a break. Back with Harper Gator Rolling Bryan before it’s off to Barrett for some forearms to the in the corner. Bryan finally kicks Harper away and the hot tag brings in Ambrose to clean house. An atomic drop into a faceplant gets two on Stardust and everything breaks down.

Ambrose cleans house and dives onto Harper and Stardust for a big crash. Barrett breaks up Dirty Deeds on Stardust and Harper kicks Dean in the face as we take another break. Back again with Barrett kicking Dean in the face for two. That seems so familiar. Bad News’ chinlock doesn’t go anywhere and Stardust’s top rope superplex does just as poorly. Instead Ambrose nails a top rope dropkick and makes the tag to Ziggler.

Harper comes in as well and eats a dropkick followed by the Fameasser for two. Everything breaks down again and the good guys load up a triple dive but Harper nails Ziggler to break up a third of it. The Batista Bomb gets two on Dolph but he comes back with a Zig Zag, followed by the running knee to give Bryan the pin at 17:38.

Rating: B. Nice long tag match here to close out the show. When a show is built around talking like this one was, you almost have to give them something like this to affirm that it’s really a wrestling show. Above all though, Barrett didn’t get pinned! That’s one whole show in a row and possibly a new record for him.

Cole congratulates Bryan on the win but Ziggler jokes that Bryan stole the pin from him. Last year Bryan had luck on his side but this year Ziggler is going to be out there with him. Dean chimes in and says Dolph stole the show, just like everyone has been stealing the title lately. Maybe Dolph thinks he isn’t quite as good as Bryan and it bothers him.

Dean says the people in the locker room know the truth about Bryan: he’s, shall we say, human waste. Ambrose goes to leave and Ziggler agrees with him, leaving Bryan in the ring alone. I really, really hope they don’t turn Bryan heel but it seems to be the only thing left for him to do at this point.

Overall Rating: C. We’re definitely in the last push to Wrestlemania, which means expect several shows like this in a row: mostly talk and hype with a token long match for most of the wrestling content. Reigns sounded fine and it’s good that they’re FINALLY giving him a reason to want to fight Brock.

On the other hand, Orton sounded like a crazy man trying to explain a stupid story. Either bring him back as a full on psycho or bring him back as part of the Authority without the Fast Lane attack. What they went with makes it seem like they were just hoping people weren’t paying attention, though given how this build has been going, they might be onto something.

Results

Los Matadores/Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day/Usos – Backstabber to Kingston

Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock

AJ Lee/Paige b. Summer Rae/Cameron – PTO to Summer

Dean Ambrose/Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper/Stardust/Bad News Barrett – Running knee to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: February 26, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

Wrestlemania is creeping up on us and you can see most of the card from here. The main story coming out of Monday was Randy Orton rejoining the Authority for about two and a half hours but ultimately turning back against them. For some reason he let Seth Rollins off easy, which likely won’t be addressed tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. The fans chant YES but Bryan shouts NO for a change. That’s what he said a few years ago when he was frustrated at the lack of opportunities. He was wrong though, because the fans were in his corner. The fans gave him the opportunity to climb the ladder to the top and he won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of Wrestlemania XXX. He had to give it up due to injury, but then he had another chance to get it back at Fast Lane.

However, he failed and there’s no Wrestlemania main event this year. Without that motivation, does that mean the YES Movement is dead? NO it does not! He won’t back down because he has big plans this year. Before he can get those out though, here’s Bad News Barrett who has somehow gone a full three days since losing a match.

No one wants to hear Bryan’s sob story because losers like Bryan don’t deserve the spotlight. Neither does a thief like Dean Ambrose, so here’s Dean for the brawl. He and Barrett fight to the floor so Bryan picks up the Intercontinental Title. Barrett demands it back but Ambrose decks him from behind and takes the belt back. Daniel didn’t seem interested in the belt other than keeping it away from Barrett. Cole sounds like he’s begging us to believe that Barrett is still champion.

Dean Ambrose vs. Miz

Is he going to step on Miz’s sunglasses and break his foot this time? No Mizdow because he might be off shooting the commercial he mentioned on Raw. An early rollup gets two for Dean but he gets caught in a neckbreaker for the same. We’re already in the chinlock but Ambrose fights up with rights and lefts. Some running forearms drop Miz again but Barrett comes back out to steal the belt again. The distraction doesn’t work for once though as Dean hits Dirty Deeds for the pin on Miz at 2:47.

We look at stills of Orton returning on Sunday and video of the story with Rollins on Monday. Lawler tries to defend Orton’s lack of action by saying he was worried about Big Show and Kane. I’d be worried about them too if I wanted anyone to stay awake during my matches. Seriously even Bryan couldn’t survive a Kane feud.

After a break, Barrett can’t get Renee’s name right but says Ambrose and Bryan don’t deserve to touch this title.

Naomi vs. Natalya

Say it with me: this officially started on Total Divas, even though there’s been almost no animosity between them on that show. Somehow though, that’s better continuity than you usually get on the main shows. They run the ropes to start and Natalya drops down, only to get rolled up for two. A headscissors drops Natalya again and we hit a chinlock with Naomi using her legs instead of the arms. Both girls hit cross bodies and the guys get into it on the floor. The referee holds Naomi back from a downed Natalya, allowing the Canadian to hit the discus lariat for the pin at 2:48.

Here are the Russians to brag about their win on Sunday. Rusev says this is what a championship looks like and Lana walks us through some stills of Cena’s spirit being crushed over and over again. Lana says Rusev isn’t one to sleep on the job and brags about Putin sending them congratulatory emails. She even shows us one, of course in Russian, which probably has a very funny translation.

Rusev repeats that Cena gets no shot at Wrestlemania so he needs a new opponent. Cue Jack Swagger as we flash back to August. Jack says there’s no such thing as a scared US Champion and the fight is on. Just like happens every single time, Rusev survives a storm and superkicks Swagger into the Accolade. Was there NO ONE ELSE they could have used for this spot? Like……sweet goodness there really isn’t much of anyone is there? Is the roster really that thin? Or are the faces really that lame?

Bad News Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title of course, because even Bryan hasn’t fallen enough to want the Intercontinental Title. Barrett isn’t sure where to put the title. Byron Saxton introduces R-Truth on commentary. Truth: “COACH! I MISSED YOU!” Ok that was funny. Barrett shoves Bryan down to start but gets sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. The surfboard knee stomp sends Barrett back into the corner as Truth thinks a crumpet is a musical instrument.

More kicks stagger Barrett but the Winds of Change connect for two. Daniel bails to the floor as Truth keeps babbling about how he should be Intercontinental Champion. Back from a break with Barrett putting on a chinlock. I really do feel sorry for him. This is at least the second and probably third loser title reign for him and I don’t know what he does to deserve it.

Bryan fights up and hits more YES Kicks for two but Barrett avoids the running dropkick in the corner. The title was knocked to the floor and Barrett is distracted, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat. Truth: “Bryan looks like a chicken dipped in Rogaine.” How do you even respond to that? The YES Lock goes on and Truth sneaks over to the corner and steals the belt but gets back on commentary with the belt under his jacket. Bad News makes the ropes but turns around for the running knee and the pin at 10:31.

Rating: C-. This feud is turning into a battle over who can suck more than the other guy. Somehow though, Barrett is going to wind up leaving with the belt because that’s how WWE works. Then they’ll wonder why no one cares about Barrett, the title, or the losers in the match. Truth was funny on commentary but that doesn’t mean I want to see him in the ring. At least the title is getting some attention tonight though.

Barrett can’t find the title but Truth denies any involvement. This is somehow making Barrett come off like someone we should feel sorry for, because we’re supposed to feel sorry for someone who loses every match he has.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns from earlier today. Reigns praises Bryan for a hard fought match on Sunday and says Bryan knows what it takes to get where Reigns is going. We look at a clip of Heyman’s speech on Monday about how Reigns just can’t do it. Roman is tired of hearing about how he can’t do something and says he’ll have to train harder than ever before. Lesnar has been on this stage before but Reigns doesn’t have any experience at this level. He needs to talk to people in his family to see what it’s like to be there.

Reigns wants Lesnar to be bouncing around the ring and at his very best when he faces a man representing a proud family who is trying to make a better life for himself and his family. My goodness this guy is just not good at making me care about him. That’s the problem with him: he’s just ok at most things other than spearing people in half. He’s great as a heavyweight monster, but as a humanized character, he’s just stuck in the middle of the pack. Five minutes of him talking about what he needs to do didn’t make me care about him any more than I did in the first place, and I can’t imagine it getting better anytime soon.

Truth runs into Ambrose and says he beat Barrett for the title. Ambrose says he’s coming for the belt so Truth just hands it to him. Cole: “HAHAHAHA!” And that sums up the whole thing better than I ever could.

Fandango vs. Curtis Axel

Axel shows us a clock which has him in the Royal Rumble for 32 hours, giving Cole and Lawler something else to laugh about. Fandango jumps him to start so Axel throws him over the top. Curtis: AXELMANIA! Fandango plants him with a release suplex and the Last Dance is good for the pin at 1:03. Again, I care about the loser more than the winner.

Miz interrupts Mizdow’s commercial shoot and mocks him for just ripping Miz off. The director didn’t know Miz was interested in being part of this commercial and gives him the part instead. That’s ANOTHER face who is treated like a loser, but at least he hasn’t……when did he last win a match? This company is really bad at setting up good guys. Of course they have to face adversity, but they really need to win once in awhile. This idea of just letting the fans carry them doesn’t hold up for everyone but it seems to be all WWE is doing lately. Either that or have the champ lose every time.

Barrett will be defending the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania in a ladder match against an unknown number of unnamed opponents. Sheamus returns there maybe?

We get the Sting career retrospective. WWE does a lot of things wrong but they’re awesome at things like this.

Adam Rose vs. Goldust

Rose has entered the Andre battle royal. Before the match we get a recap of Stardust attacking his brother on Sunday. Rose jumps him to start and charges into the powerslam for two. The Final Cut is good for the pin at 1:02.

Stardust is dressed as a monkey Rosebud and jumps Goldust.

Bray Wyatt claims that Undertaker is clinging to his legacy. He’s a snake, but even the cleverest rat can only run from the snake for so long. How long does Undertaker think he can hide? Time is ticking because Wrestlemania is approaching. Come find him.

Seth Rollins/Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler/Ryback

We get the Jon Stewart response to Rollins before the match starts. Kane headlocks Rowan to start but gets runs over by a shoulder block. A fall away slam (that’s way too popular of a move these days) and jumping elbow get two for Rowan and it’s off to Ziggler for a nice response. Kane drives Dolph into the corner for a tag to Rollins, who is quickly dropped with a neckbreaker.

Big Show makes a blind tag and throws Ziggler down with a cobra clutch throw as we take a break. Back with Kane holding Ziggler in a chinlock before kicking him in the face to give Rollins two. Big Show comes back in with a headbutt to set up the Vader Bomb. Big Show: “I’M GOING TO HIT MY MOVE!” It’s only good for two though and Dolph scores with a quick Fameasser but he has to add a running DDT to Kane. That’s finally enough for the tag to Ryback and house is cleaned.

An overhead belly to belly sends Rollins flying into the corner and a big powerslam plants him for good measure. The Meat Hook connects but Mercury comes in for a distraction. Big Show breaks up a double Shell Shock as everything breaks down. Rollins dives onto Rowan but his Blockbuster attempt is caught in a Shell Shock. Kane makes a save but eats a Zig Zag, only to get dropped by Rollins. The Stooges are thrown in again and the distraction lets Ryback hit Shell Shock on Rollins for the pin at 11:07.

Rating: C+. Well the booking has been frustrating all night so why not job out Rollins again while trading wins in the never ending feud as well? If there’s one good thing here, it’s Ryback looking like a monster this whole time. However, none of this matters until it actually leads somewhere for him. Odds are he’ll be put into the battle royal though and get lost in the shuffle.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was one of the most head scratching shows I’ve seen in a very long time. Between having the Intercontinental Title literally handed over from one guy to another in what felt like a parody sketch instead of…..whatever that really was supposed to be to faces looking like hopeless losers to somehow making me feel bad for a villain to trading wins with Big Show and Kane continuing to look strong to set up whatever in the world they’re going to do, this show was every problem WWE has going on right now.

The short matches are a confusing point for me. On one hand, I really don’t want to see these matches keep going on and on, but at the same time I’d like to see a match get enough time to not be a huge waste. Throw in Roman Reigns just talking for five minutes and not getting anywhere and this was a really rough show to sit through.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds

Natalya b. Naomi – Discus lariat

Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett – Running knee

Fandango b. Curtis Axel – Last Dance

Goldust b. Adam Rose – Final Cut

Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins – Shell Shock to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: February 19, 2015
Location: BB&T Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Fast Lane and thankfully the ending to Monday’s show was a bit more interesting than trying to figure out exactly when Bryan turned into a whiny loser who is using his contractual obligations to get back in the title picture instead of just winning matches like he did last year. Other than that we have Rollins vs. Ziggler again tonight because what else could they air? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Reigns vs. Bryan story from Monday with both of them messing with the others match and a big brawl to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Before the match, we see Miz ripping on Mizdow earlier in the night, but he insists it’s just trying to help Mizdow from being a loser. Mizdow of course out pops Miz, earning him a severe tongue lashing. Miz orders him to go get an Egyptian cotton towel for after his match. Apparently Bryan wants Miz to only use American goods and kicks some patriotism into his former mentor.

The running clothesline and corner dropkick set up a top rope hurricanrana but Miz bails to the floor to avoid the running knee. Back in and Miz kicks out the knee before driving knees into the hamstring. You don’t try to match submissions with Bryan though and the YES Lock is good for the submission at 2:54.

Ryback vs. Kane

Ryback hammers him into the corner to start and hits a decent belly to belly. A threat of the Meat Hook sends Kane outside in the same sequence from the first match with the running knee. Back in and Kane hits a running DDT followed by a big boot to send Ryback into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ryback fights up with a Thesz Press and the Warrior Splash. Ryback gets knocked off the top rope to the floor, which means absolutely nothing as he hits the Shell Shock immediately after getting back in for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. This was a ten minute power match packed into less than four minutes. Ryback and Kane could have a decent match if they were given a few more minutes but they had to fly through this instead, likely so we can see a bunch of videos from Raw. Also, Ryback can pin Kane but Reigns can only beat him by countout? These are the kind of things that just make no sense and make you wonder if anyone is actually thinking backstage.

We recap Ambrose making Barrett sign the contract on Monday.

R-Truth vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title so just raise Truth’s hand now. Ambrose is on commentary and wants to know why Truth is shouting WHOMP THERE IT IS, even though it’s on his iPod. Barrett stomps away in the corner as Dean talks about the title being the backbone of the company. Truth gives Barrett a pelvic thrust, earning him a beating in the corner.

Cole asks how that contract signing can stand. Dean: “Well there’s a graphic for the match on WWE.com and the internet is always true.” We hit the chinlock on Truth as Barrett talks trash to Dean. Truth fights up with ease and a side kick gets two. Ambrose ignores more trash talk, even as Barrett takes Truth to the floor and beats him up right in front of Dean. Back in and Dean turns his back on Barrett, allowing Truth to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: D. Egads man I was kidding about Truth winning. Remember the good old days when champions ACTUALLY WON MATCHES??? On top of that, history shows us that Truth isn’t going anywhere after this win because pinning the champion is a plot device instead of a way to elevate someone. I don’t know what Barrett did to deserve this treatment, but he’d have a better future as a shark dentist than as Intercontinental Champion.

Vince is on the cover of Muscle and Fitness.

We look back at Cena and Rusev fighting on Monday. If nothing else, that segment proved that American healthcare is better than Russian, as Cena’s eye went from the focal point of the match to ignored in the span of a week.

Bray Wyatt says find him before he finds you.

Sheamus return video.

New Day vs. Ascension

Kofi is the odd man out here. Viktor and Woods get things going with Xavier planting a knee into the ribs for two. Ascension drags Woods into the corner for a double teaming, featuring a lot of choking in the corner. Back to Viktor for a kick to the ribs but Woods rolls over for an ice cold tag to E. Viktor gets thrown around but gets a reprieve as Big E. wipes away the sweat. A cheap shot from Konnor allows Viktor to send Big E. into the post, setting up Fall of Man for the pin at 2:52. I’m not surprised they’ve already pulled the plug on New Day, even though I like at least two of the members of the team.

Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns

My goodness Harper has cooled down since winning that Intercontinental Title. It really has become a death knell in the last few years. Reigns throws him into the corner and stomps Luke down with ease. More stomping sends Harper outside and Roman nails him with a running clothesline. If Reigns can do one thing as well as anyone, it’s explode with running moves.

Back in and something like the ProtoBomb gets two but they head right back outside where Luke sends him into the steps. Back in and a slingshot hilo of all things gets two for Harper but Reigns fights out of a headlock. A big Samoan drop sends Harper flying but he escapes another and hits a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. Reigns pops back up, no sells a superkick and spears Harper down for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: C. As much as I can’t stand the no selling of hard shots to the face, this is the kind of win that makes Reigns look better. Have him get in there for a hard hitting match and then spear someone in half for the pin. It’s a really basic way of getting him over and to show off his physical abilities instead of whatever the heck the story with Bryan is supposed to be. I’ve watched the entire thing so far and I still don’t get it. What I do get however is Reigns spearing people and pinning them because it looks cool.

Recap of Flair and HHH from Raw for the response to the acceptance for the challenge to talk.

Big Show vs. Erick Rowan

I don’t see this going well. Show kicks Rowan to the floor before the bell and throws him into the steps. He picks Rowan up by the beard and throws him inside where the referee is fine with opening the match despite Rowan taking a horrible beating which should be a DQ but that might make Big Show look weak and this is a Big Show tribute company after all.

Show stomps him down in the corner and plants him with a slam. More stomping sets up the chokeslam for the pin at 2:26. Why in the world did we need a Big Show squash? He beat Daniel Bryan on Raw and now he needs to win a squash? Oh wait, it’s more Survivor Series fallout. Why didn’t I see that coming?

Cameron vs. Paige

The Bellas are on commentary and wearing sunglasses, which actually fit them quite well. Cameron flips her hair at Paige to start and gets the revolving elbows in the corner for her efforts. Paige drives knees into the chest and does her shout on the apron to no reaction from the Bellas. Apparently Nikki is fierce. Good to know. Cameron comes back with her horrible offense and slaps Paige in the face, earning her a series of clotheslines. A kick to the face sets up the PTO for the submission at 2:09.

Paige shouts at the Bellas post match. They were actually far easier to sit through here as they’ve turned up the obnoxious levels to make it more of a character than just half doing everything and coming off like catty teenagers at summer camp. Naturally Nikki is going to retain the title Sunday though, because Paige has won every match leading up to the showdown and the Bellas are evil, meaning they have to get the upper hand.

We recap Goldust and Stardust’s issues with Dusty on Monday.

Stardust knows what it’s like to be considered a freak, so he embraced Stardust. They were on fire as a team and won the Tag Team Titles, but then darkness crept in. He saw it coming because it happened to him, and it took Cody away from him. Now Stardust is a cancer eating Cody alive and he wants his brother back. That means he has to face his brother and beat him at Fast Lane. Stardust appears on the screen behind him and asks to be spared from Goldust’s sentiments. After Sunday, Cody won’t be the only one who has ceased to exist. The universe will forget the name of Goldust.

Jimmy Uso vs. Tyson Kidd

Before the match, Kidd says his decision to team with Cesaro is the best move he’s ever made. Natalya’s face is rather amusing to say the least. Also of note here: Kidd is about a foot shorter than Cesaro. I’ve never noticed that kind of a height difference before. Kidd fires off ROH style forearms to the head to start but Jimmy comes back with right hands in the corner. Not that it matters though as Rusev comes in to beat up both guys at 0:57.

Rusev destroys everyone and rants in Russian about Cena. No Lana here.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

The Stooges are barred from ringside. Feeling out process to start with both guys going for arm holds and Rollins bailing to the ropes. They hit the mat with Ziggler caught in a headlock but he comes back with a nice dropkick. Rollins avoids a Stinger Splash though and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock (as is almost always the case) but charging into a hot shot for two.

Big Show, Kane, Ryback and Rowan are all at ringside. After what happened earlier, why would you want Rowan out there? Isn’t there an elderly music teacher somewhere that could give you a better fighting chance? Rollins yells at Ryback and Rowan, allowing Dolph to come back with a running forearm to put both guys down.

Now the Stinger Splash connects and Ziggler follows it up with a neckbreaker. Rollins tries the buckle bomb but gets countered into a sunset flip, followed by the Fameasser for two more. Dolph dropkicks him out to the floor where Seth slaps Ryback and Rowan. Back in and Ziggler has to fight off Kane, allowing Rollins to hit the buckle bomb, followed by the Curb Stomp for the pin at 10:23.

Rating: B-. Solid enough match here but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do far better before. Rollins getting a big win is a good sign and I’d assume there’s going to be a six man tag set up for Sunday. If nothing else it would fill out the card a bit and get us beyond six matches for the show. Oh and a big talk, because that’s what I want to pay for: a preview for the next show.

The Stooges come out and it’s time for the big beatdown. Given that Ziggler is done and Rowan is Rowan, it’s basically Ryback getting destroyed, making a decent comeback and then getting destroyed again for the last three minutes of the show, because the Stooges were able to subdue Rowan and we’re still doing the same things we did around Survivor Series time. So much for Kane and Big Show having issues I guess, unless something happens Sunday.

Overall Rating: C-. Now this felt like an alternative to Raw. Monday night tends to be about packing as much stuff as you can into a show, but at the same time it feels like they’re stalling for time. This show flies by with some decent wrestling and VERY few stories. Smackdown is much more streamlined and makes it an easier show to sit through.

However, that doesn’t make it an interesting show. Nothing happens on this show and it was pure false hope when it moved back to Thursdays. This is right back to the same stuff they did for years and there’s no real reason to watch it. Yeah there was some mild storyline development here, but it’s more like the downloadable content for a video game: it might be fun to kill some time, but if you never saw it, you wouldn’t lose anything from the game itself.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Miz – YES Lock

Ryback b. Kane – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Bad News Barrett – Rollup

Ascension b. New Day – Fall of Man to Big E.

Roman Reigns b. Luke Harper – Spear

Big Show b. Erick Rowan – Chokeslam

Paige b. Cameron – PTO

Jimmy Uso vs. Tyson Kidd went to a no contest when Rusev interfered

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb Stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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The big idea coming into this week was HHH promising to shake up the WWE and end the controversy that ended the Royal Rumble. That led to the big question: what was the controversy? Reigns won the Rumble by eliminating Rusev and is going to Wrestlemania, but as usual the fans wanted Daniel Bryan. That’s the best theory we have coming into this show so let’s get to it.

The big announcement opened the show and I’ll give a very quick recap: Rock interfered in the Rumble before Rusev was gone so Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan will fight in the main event for the right to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rusev was never mentioned once in the promo. This led to Big Show vs. Roman Reigns with Big Show pinning Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in less than three minutes (with an assist from Rollins and the briefcase).

We’re now going to jump to something a bit different. A few hours after the show ended, I was talking to my fiance, who has been watching wrestling for over twenty years. I looked at her and explained the first thirty minutes of this show. Her face went from its usual smile to confusion, awe and bordering on shock. She didn’t know how to respond to anything I explained to her and eventually just said “what”. Not a question, but a statement. What.

That’s somewhere around where I am too. Read over what happened and explain to me how the decision makes sense. For those of you that have ever taken a logic class, the premises make sense but the conclusion doesn’t fit. Yes, there was some controversy to end the Rumble. Yes, Rusev might have a claim to an unfair loss. Yes, Daniel Bryan deserves a rematch for the World Title as he never lost the belt. Solution: Bryan vs. Rollins with Rusev not being a factor. THAT DOESN’T ADD UP!

Just…..it doesn’t make sense. If they haven’t set up Rusev vs. Cena already, you could set up Bryan vs. Rusev instead of Bryan vs. Rollins tonight and have Cena cost Rusev the match (by countout of course), giving you Bryan vs. Reigns and Cena vs. Rusev with logical stories instead of this mess. But instead, they rushed into the matches without enough thinking, meaning the whole thing is a mess that doesn’t make a ton of sense and leaves fans talking about the buildup instead of the end goal. Short version: slow down and think instead of just barreling into the matches without using some logic.

That brings us to Reigns vs. Big Show, which gives me a similar reaction. The more I think about it, the more I don’t hate the idea. Giving Reigns a loss is a good way to build some adversity for him and keep him from being just another Superman. As I’ve said before, Roman Reigns needs to be Roman Reigns, not a Samoan John Cena. Having him lose early is actually going to be a relief to him later on and also takes away some of the certainty of him winning at Wrestlemania.

But……..WHY WAS THE LOSS TO THE BIG SHOW??? Of all the people on the roster, they felt that he needed to be the first man to defeat Roman Reigns? There was no one, like say Seth Rollins, that would have gotten more out of such a win? I can’t believe WWE thinks this is a hot feud and it almost has to be just sticking it to the fans at this point. On top of that though, there is almost no logical reason for them to have fought again. Reigns pinned him clean on Smackdown, so why are they fighting again? Bad match, questionable at best booking, and a way to tick the fans off. As was said earlier, what.

Oh yeah other stuff happened on this show.

Curtis Axel has a new catchphrase: Don’t change the channel. As much as I like Axel and think his potential has been wasted, that line made me chuckle, which says a lot after the mess I’ve seen so far tonight. Anyway, he thinks he got ripped off at Wrestlemania and ate Dirty Deeds from Ambrose for his opinion. Dean wants the Intercontinental Title, which is as good as anything else he could get around this time.

Stardust and Goldust are having issues and lost to Ascension. People have been asking for this feud for like ever so why not now. Oh and Stardust doesn’t like being called Cody.

Cena came out to recap his feuds with Rusev and the Authority but Stephanie came out to make matches for the three guys that were fired for Survivor Series. I’ve said this far too many times now, but can we PLEASE move on past Survivor Series? That show was two and a half months ago and it’s still a major driver of stories. Can’t they come up with something fresh by this point? I’m over the idea of seeing these three guys being tortured because of one match that doesn’t mean anything, but WWE seems to think it’s the most interesting idea they’ve ever seen.

Ryback beat Luke Harper because Harper is a former Intercontinental Champion and therefore doesn’t get to have much success.

Cesaro beat Jimmy Uso because of something about a double date and because Cesaro and Kidd winning one match makes them the next challengers for the titles. With all that talent they have, there’s no room to bring people up? They can’t throw Itami and Balor together on the main roster like they’ve thrown them together in NXT? Get them onto the main roster and then let them go their separate ways after giving us a decent title program? No, instead it’s the same “well we won a match!” build that people have been complaining about for years now but WWE doesn’t seem to be able to correct.

Miz fired Mizdow and made him a personal assistant. It’s about time on this one as the stunt double thing stopped making sense about ten seconds after it started. Miz has basically been fighting a bunch of handicap matches while Mizdow hasn’t been allowed to contribute anything. It’s like hiring a chef but not letting them cook anything because you think you’re better in the kitchen. The whole thing never made sense and Mizdow is over for all the wrong reasons, which to be fair is better than not being over at all.

Wyatt beat Ziggler in a decent match, which seems to be the start of a rumored Ziggler heel turn. I’ve heard of worse ideas as he’s been abused by the Authority for months, so why not have him give up? I mean, we can’t have him get revenge on the Authority and make them look bad, because WWE is little more than an Authority vanity project when they’re involved.

While talking to the Authority, Rollins name dropped Randy Orton. That’s going to be an interesting return as it could open up a lot of doors in the main event scene.

Paige beat Alicia Fox and was attacked by the Bellas to further set up her title shot. The Bellas have just drained whatever energy this division had going for it. Yeah they’re better than they used to be and I’ll take this a million times over “and I’ve never told anyone about this”, but my goodness the Bellas just aren’t interesting.

Mizdow cost Miz his match against Sin Cara, which I don’t think surprised anyone.

Rusev beat up Rowan before their match and Accoladed him. The Russian flag messed up but the announcers actually covered it by saying Cena might have sabotaged it. It’s nice to see them tie a mistake into a bit of a storyline advancement.

Bryan came in to talk to Reigns and was basically told to get out before he was thrown out. This was the kind of emotion and aggression we haven’t seen from Reigns in a long time and it was a good sign for him.

Bryan beat Rollins with an unintentional assist from Reigns. It was probably the only way they could have gone and the match was the best thing that happened all night. There isn’t much else to say here as it was Bryan vs. Rollins for seventeen minutes. What more do you need to hear?

Overall this Raw felt like getting punched in the jaw to knock out a sore tooth. Yeah your problem is solved, but now you’re annoyed and sore instead of just in pain. I’m really not sure how this was the best option they could come to, but at least we’re getting Reigns in a major singles match before Wrestlemania. A win over Bryan could take away some of the heat on him, especially if it’s a clean win in a good match.

The first half hour of this show really drained me, but it’s not quite as bad looking back at it a week later. Still though, this is a really weird way to get where they needed to go and could have been handled a lot better if they had just stopped and thought for a minute. Again, why not just have Rusev vs. Bryan with Cena costing Rusev the match and set up the Rollins stuff later? It makes sense and keeps Rusev involved, which was the whole point of the controversy in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6