Night of Champions 2014: They’re Making My Eyebrows Go Up

Night of Champions 2014
Date: September 21, 2014
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is the textbook definition of a one match show and now the second or third biggest match isn’t happening. Yesterday Roman Reigns was sent to the hospital with a hernia, putting him out of action for several weeks if not months. The main event is of course Cena vs. Lesnar II (III if you count the match from two and a half years ago) with Lesnar defending his title. Let’s get to it.

Instead of a pre-show match, this month we have the return of the Peep Show. Christian is a good guy this time and says it’s all about the titles. There’s one match that has peaked his interest, even though it isn’t for a title. It features his guest tonight though: Chris Jericho. There’s no jacket yet but Chris sucks up to the fans a bit before they get in a friendly argument over who came up with the name Vitamin C and who was the captain of the team.

Christian gets on Jericho for not wearing pants on his show before showing us a clip from Raw where Orton attacked Jericho to set up their match tonight. Christian calls Orton HHH’s lapdog, hamster, lackey and various other things. Randy pops up on screen and says it’s the modern Terrance and Phillip. He says Orton beat Christian up so bad that he can’t wrestle anymore and after tonight, Jericho will only be able to appear on Total Divas. Jericho says that’s a perfect set up for Orton’s show: Total Jackass. Chris lists off some snake killer names and that’s about it.

The opening video has the theme of a belt being made and of course focuses on Cena vs. Lesnar. That’s a cool concept and it worked well.

As they’re introducing the matches tonight, we see pictures of people who have held the titles before.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos

The Usos are defending and Jey is just getting over a knee injury in a match against the challengers which set up this match. Goldust and Jey get things going with the champ sending the veteran down. Off to Jimmy for a running forearm in the corner, sending Goldust off to tag his brother. Stardust gets slammed down as well and a hard whip sends him into the corner.

Back to Jey for the armbar but Stardust takes him into the corner for the heels to take over. Stardust starts in on the bad leg as Lawler emphasizes titles only changing hands on a pinfall or submission. Jey rolls over and tags in his brother for a big uppercut, sending Goldust rolling out to the floor. Jimmy dives onto Stardust but Goldust gets in a powerslam to take over. Back in and Goldust puts on a chinlock on Jimmy. It doesn’t last long but a spinebuster puts Jimmy down for two.

Stardust gets the same off a neckbreaker and the Dusts stay in control. Jimmy busts up a chinlock with a jawbreaker to Stardust before sending him shoulder first into the post. A spinning kick to the head drops Goldust and the hot tag brings in Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey hits some nice dives onto the Dusts before the running Umaga attack crushes Stardust in the corner.

Young Dust pops back up and nails Dark Matter for two before tying Jey in the ropes. Stardust takes off his glove and slaps Jey for some reason, earning him a huge dive over the top to the floor. All four guys are down on the floor before Jimmy sends Stardust back inside for the Superfly Splash, only to hit knees to give Stardust the pin and the titles at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad and it’s a solid choice for an opener but I’m not sure where the champions go from here. They’re so completely away from what they were that got them over in the first place that they don’t really have anywhere to go. Granted it’s not that it matters given that the Ascension are on the horizon.

Dolph Ziggler and R-Ziggler say Dolph is ready for his title defense tonight and Miz will never work in this town again.

US Title: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending and Cesaro won a #1 contenders match here. Feeling out process to start with Sheamus taking him to the mat and then ramming him face first into the buckle. The rollnig fireman’s carry gets two but Cesaro comes back with an ax handle to the head. Sheamus gets tired of this wrestling stuff and double legs Cesaro to hammer away. They head outside with Sheamus getting the better of it before getting two off the battering ram.

Sheamus goes up top but gets uppercutted out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and we hit the sleeper on Sheamus but the champion quickly fights out, only to get nailed with a hard clothesline for two. The champ comes back with a pair of Irish Curses for two of his own. Cesaro makes the mistake of rolling to the apron and gets caught with about five forearms to the chest. He quickly escapes and nails a forearm and big boot to the head, only to go up top and get slammed down for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and the big uppercut gets two for Cesaro. Sheamus comes back with a powerslam and the champion is all fired up. The Brogue Kick misses and a rollup gets two for Cesaro. The Neutralizer is countered but Cesaro lands on his feet. Sheamus loads up another Brogue but Cesaro gets underneath him for something resembling a backwards Angle Slam for a VERY close two.

Sheamus is down on his knees where Cesaro slaps him in the face. The champ is all BRING IT ON so Cesaro hits a running boot to the face and hammers away with rights and lefts in the corner. The referee pulls him away like he should, setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin to retain at 13:21.

Rating: B-. Take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for awhile. We’ve seen this match a few times before but at least it’s something good every single time. Neither guy really has anything going for him right now so pushing Sheamus makes as much sense as taking the title off him. That’s not a good thing.

Big Show gives Mark Henry a pep talk and says there are 308 million people in his corner. He gives Henry some American themed gear and tells him to tear Rusev’s head off.

Country band Florida Georgia Line comes out for commentary and says they’ll be at Tribute to the Troops.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is challenging and these two have traded the title for the last month or so. They fight over a top wristlock to start as the regular announcers suck up to the band. Ziggler tries a Thesz Press but Miz rolls away to avoid being hit in the face. The ten elbow drops have Miz in trouble but he pops up and nails a big boot for two. A boot to a seated Dolph gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Miz walks around and stomps Ziggler a few times as the announcers keep focusing on the band. This is WCW level stuff. Ziggler blocks the running corner clothesline with a clothesline of his own and both guys are down. A Stinger Splash sets up a neckbreaker for two on Miz and a sunset flip gets the same. They fall out to the floor where Mizdow sends Dolph into the apron before beating up R-Ziggler as well.

Mizdow laughs at Florida Georgia Line so they shove him down. The stunt doubles run to the back and Ziggler gets two off a superkick back inside. The Fameasser is countered into the Figure Four but Dolph finally crawls over to the rope. He pops back up with the Fameasser for two and both guys are down. Back up and Ziggler tries a rollup but Miz rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin and the title at 9:25.

Rating: C. You know, if you ignored all the stupid band stuff on commentary and the stunt doubles and cameras staying on commentary, you might have seen part of a pretty good match. Miz winning the title makes me smile as I’ve really been digging this Hollywood character lately. The Florida Georgia Line stuff was just stupid and WWE shouting “PAY ATTENTION TO US TMZ!”

Video on Reigns’ injury that aired on the Network yesterday. Reigns is shown in his bed and talking about his hernia. We also hear from the doctor who talks about how severe it was.

Here’s Seth Rollins for some gloating. One day you’re on top of the world and the next you’re Roman Reigns. Reigns is in a hospital but emergency surgery is no reason to not show up here tonight. However, in the interest of justice, Reigns has a ten count to make it to the ring. The referee rings the bell and counts as the fans chant for Ambrose.

We get to ten and Rollins is named winner by forfeit. Rollins insists that his hand be raised and says that he knows the people wanted to see him compete tonight. He’s disappointed that Reigns isn’t the man Rollins thought he was, but he’s also willing to give someone a chance. Rollins issues an open challenge for a match right now. You should know what’s coming from a mile away.

Dean Ambrose arrives in a cab (and the camera misses him getting out) and immediately takes Rollins into the crowd. There was no bell so this is just a brawl instead of a match for now. Dean hammers him through the crowd and backdrops his way out of a piledriver attempt. HHH sends out security to break it up but Ambrose dives off part of the set to take him down.

They head into another part of the crowd with Dean hammering away before clotheslining Seth back to ringside. Rollins tries to run but Dean picks up a chair. Security saves Rollins again and Dean has his hands tied. They carry him out with Dean swearing vengeance. The Authority leaves together. This was about all they could have done with Reigns being gone.

The expert panel (Renee, Booker T., Big Show and Alex Riley) recap the evening and make some basic predictions.

Rusev vs. Mark Henry

Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem before the match and Henry starts crying. Henry wins the early slugout and Rusev bails to the floor. They do the same sequence again but Henry follows him out the third time. Rusev drives him into the steps to take over before hitting a running splash back inside. He puts on a side choke and things slow down a bit.

Back up and Henry hits a quick splash in the corner but can’t lift him for the World’s Strongest Slam. Rusev nails a spinwheel kick and starts in on the bad back. Henry fights out of an Accolade attempt and nails the World’s Strongest Slam out of nowhere but his back gives out. Rusev wisely rolls outside but comes back in with the running superkick. Now the Accolade goes on and Henry quickly taps at 8:35.

Rating: D. That was pretty much exactly what was expected and it really wasn’t anything interesting. No one gave Henry much of a chance here and can you really blame them? At the end of the day the Hall of Pain period was such an outlier in his career as the rest of his career has been such a mess.

We look at Lesnar’s sitdown interview from earlier this week where he says he’s here to fight.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

This is the result of Orton attacking Jericho a few weeks back. They start fast with Jericho nailing a dropkick and clotheslining Orton out to the floor. Back in and Orton charges into some boots in the corner but manages to crotch Jericho on top. A superplex drops Jericho and we hit the chinlock. They head outside again with Jericho being dropped back first onto the barricade.

Jericho gets thrown over the announcers’ table for two and we’re back to the chinlock. Back up and Jericho nails a shoulder for two but walks into a powerslam for the same. The RKO is countered into a bulldog and the Lionsault gets two. Orton escapes a Walls attempt and sends Jericho shoulder first into the post.

The Punt misses and Jericho gets two off a rollup before putting on the Walls. Orton gets pulled back to the middle of the ring but he slips through the legs and kicks Jericho back to the floor. The Elevated DDT plants Chris but he counters the RKO into a Codebreaker for two. Jericho takes forever to get up top and dives into the RKO for the pin at 16:19.

Rating: B+. This was a really solid match which surprised me by the end. I don’t think the ending was really in doubt but at least they gave us an awesome match to make up for it. Odds are Jericho leaves for awhile after this and I can’t say I’m complaining. He’s getting up there in years and you can only put over so many people before it loses some of its appeal.

Paige narrates the recap video about the triple threat. Nothing much to say here: AJ and Paige have been feuding since April and Nikki is here to promote Total Divas.

Brie says Nikki shouldn’t become champion because she’ll become even more obnoxious.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella vs. Paige

Paige is defending. Nikki (with something resembling cornrows in part of her hair) bumps chests with the champion to start but AJ speeds things up to take over. Nikki sends AJ out to the floor and grabs a cross armbreaker on Paige. The champion fights up but AJ pulls her to the floor. AJ gets two on Paige off a spinwheel kick but Nikki comes back in to pull some hair. Paige kicks her to the floor and hugs AJ to her feet, only to nail her in the face.

Some headbutts get two on AJ until Nikki comes back in and beats up AJ a bit more. She catches AJ’s cross body but gets countered into the Black Widow. Paige makes the save and loads up a superplex until Nikki makes it a Tower of Doom. Why Nikki is down as well isn’t clear. AJ it sent to the floor but comes back in to break up a pin after Nikki’s Rack. Nikki yells at her until AJ tosses her back outside. The less annoying ones go inside again where AJ grabs the Black Widow to make AJ submit at 8:45.

Rating: C-. We’ll call this a pleasant surprise as Nikki isn’t champion and that means this is a good day. Hopefully this winds up being like last year where they tease one of the Total Divas winning forever but never actually pull the trigger. Nikki is watchable in the ring but the story with her sister just kills anything they do.

We get a by the numbers look at Lesnar vs. Cena from Summerslam.

Expert panel on the main event.

We recap the World Title match. Lesnar destroyed Cena at Summerslam so Cena has gotten all aggressive to have a chance at getting the title back tonight. Heyman has been trying to get him to embrace the hate and it went about as well as you would expect.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

They have over half an hour for this. Cena charges again and is immediately taken into the corner for shoulders to the ribs. Brock tries a German but Cena grabs the ropes and drops Lesnar with a clothesline. The AA gets one after forty seconds but Brock grabs the Kimura. Cena is in the ropes so Brock fires in some hard knees to the ribs. There’s the first German suplex but Cena comes back with right hands, only to get caught in another Kimura. John is right next to the ropes though and the hold is quickly broken.

Another knee to the ribs puts Cena down and a third Kimura sends Cena running to the ropes. The second suplex gets two and Brock busts out Three Amigos but Cena’s shoulders aren’t down. Brock drives some shoulders into the ribs but Cena scores with some rights and lefts. Not that they matter as Lesnar takes his head off with a clothesline. Back to the Kimura with the same result as Cena grabs the arm.

An overhead belly to belly gets two for the champion and he shrugs off more punches. Cena comes back again with rights hands and a great looking elbow to the jaw to stun Brock for a bit. The AA is countered into yet another German though and Lesnar has a bloody nose. Cena has a big bruise on his left kidney. Brock takes the gloves off and drives Cena into the buckle for even more shoulders to the ribs. Another AA connects out of nowhere for two and Lesnar is actually in trouble.

The F5 is countered and Cena grabs the STF but Lesnar easily separates the arms and puts on another Kimura. Cena powers to his feet and rams Lesnar into the buckle a few times to escape. The third AA sets up another STF and Cena drags it back to the middle of the ring. He does it again and Heyman is starting to freak out. Cena picks him up for a fourth AA but Rollins runs in with the briefcase for the DQ at 14:02.

Rating: B+. This was a much better match but the ending really drags it down. However this gives us a reason for a third match in the Cell because Cena knows he can beat him. It’s good storytelling but I don’t like this as a way to end a pay per view. They did a good job of making Lesnar seem closer to human though and that makes for great drama.

A briefcase to Cena’s head sends him to the floor and Lesnar is out. Rollins takes forever to turn around but he plants Lesnar with a Curb Stomp. He cashes in but Cena picks Rollins off before we get a bell. So there’s no cash in. Lesnar lays out Cena with an F5 and holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’d call this show a pleasant surprise. As usual there’s hope for the future but I’m not sure how much they’re actually going to follow up on this. Cena vs. Rollins for a month before we put these two inside the Cell is fine, but I’d like to see ANYONE else get in there instead of Cena for awhile. Not that Cena vs. Lesnar is a bad match, but spread the wealth a bit. It’s a good show but the interest level is still really low.

Results

Goldust/Stardust b. Usos – Stardust pinned Jimmy after a missed Superfly Splash

Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick

Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Rusev b. Mark Henry – Accolade

Randy Orton b. Chris Jericho – RKO

AJ Lee b. Paige and Nikki Bella – Black Widow to Paige

John Cena b. Brock Lesnar via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – September 19, 2014: Wake Me Up When September Ends

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2014
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and since this is Friday, we’re not likely to see Cena or Lesnar, meaning nothing important is going to happen tonight. WWE has done a very bad job building up everything other than the main event for Sunday and it really shows when Cena and Lesnar aren’t on the show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Reigns vs. Rusev. Just get to the DQ now.

Jimmy Uso vs. Stardust

The brothers that look different say they’re coming for the titles. Jimmy and Stardust fight up against the ropes to start until a neckbreaker puts Jimmy down. Uso tries three superkicks and connects with the final one for the pin at 2:00.

Goldust gets kicked as well.

Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz/Cesaro

Haven’t we seen this one a few times now? Cesaro tries to ride Ziggler on the mat but the champion gets away. A slam takes Ziggler down again and Cesaro cranks on a headlock. Back up and Cesaro counters a sunset flip and lifts Dolph all the way into a gorilla press. It’s an awesome power display but Ziggler slips down the back and nails a dropkick. Off to Miz for a kick to the face for two and some posing. He avoids the Fameasser and hooks the Reality Check for two.

We come back from a break with Miz getting two off a top rope ax handle and putting on a chinlock. Dolph counters with a jawbreaker but Cesaro blocks a tag attempt. That earns him the swinging DDT and the hot tag brings in Sheamus. Miz gets caught in the fifteen forearms to the chest and the rolling fireman’s carry gets two. The Irish Curse gets the same and Ziggler backdrops Cesaro to the floor, possibly injuring the big man’s knee. The stunt doubles get into it and Ziggler superkicks Miz into the Brogue Kick for the pin at 11:43.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but did anyone buy Miz having a chance to pin Sheamus? He has the character down but he needs something different in the ring. I still think a switch to tights would help him a lot, though that doesn’t seem to be a possibility. Also let him get some wins with the Finale to build the move back up a bit.

Adam Rose vs. Heath Slater

Slater decks him with a right hand and Rose is in early trouble. He gets a boot up to stop a charging Heath in the corner and a high cross body gets two. Slater stomps him down in the corner again but misses a knee drop. Rose comes back with some forearms and a spinebuster but Titus trips him up. This brings in the Bunny who dives on Titus, setting up the Party Foul for the pin at 2:55.

We recap Henry and Rusev from Raw. This eats up over a minute.

Lana and Rusev are in the back and Lana speaks Russian about Henry and Reigns. Rusev does the same and that’s about it.

Los Matadores/Big Show vs. Wyatt Family

I could have sworn this was originally going to be the Usos. Big Show does Torito’s entrance in a funny bit. This is joined in progress with Fernando doing OLE to Rowan. Thankfully Erick picks him up for a fall away slam into the Wyatt corner. Off to Bray for the backsplash before Harper comes in and gets caught in a sunset flip. His response is to hit Fernando really hard in the face, though Fernando is able to get over to the corner for a tag to Big Show.

Rowan comes in as well and takes out Show’s leg, allowing Wyatt to hammer on a downed giant. Harper Gator Rolls Big Show and drops him with a dropkick. The Family starts some fast tagging but Show rolls to the floor and headbutts Wyatt. Bray stops a tag attempt though and Harper hooks a chinlock. That’s fine with Big Show who lifts Luke up and slams him down for a break.

Show misses a Vader Bomb elbow and it’s back to Bray for a chinlock of his own. Wyatt is slammed down just like Luke was and the hot tag finally brings in Diego. Everything breaks down and the Wyatts destroy Los Matadores with ease. Diego dives out to nail Harper but Sister Abigail takes him out for the pin at 8:10 shown.

Rating: D+. The stuff with Big Show in there was good enough, but at some point you have to get the tag off to a Matadore and there’s no way around that. I’m glad to see Bray get a win again but he needs to get back to his over the top stuff and a big win over a top guy. He can go in the ring but that Cena feud ripped his legs off.

We look at Reigns vs. Rollins from Monday.

Reigns is ready for tonight and Sunday because the Punch is ready.

Paige vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title and AJ comes out to do commentary. Nikki shoves her down to start and nails a middle rope spinning kick to the head for two. Paige gets knocked to the floor but she knocks Nikki off the apron just as quickly. Back in and Paige kicks her in the ribs but gets caught with some dropkicks. Not that they matter as the Paige Turner is enough to pin Bella at 2:57.

Post match Paige and AJ do their usual with AJ holding the title. Nikki lays them both out and holds up the belt, despite getting pinned about a minute earlier.

Bo Dallas vs. Jack Swagger

Rematch from Raw where Jack made Dallas tap. Jack takes him into the corner to start but Bo slaps him in the face. A chase goes badly for Bo with Swagger clotheslining him hard. Dallas is sent hard into the table but grabs a neckbreaker to take over back inside. Swagger comes right back with a suplex and Vader Bomb but Bo runs to the floor again. Another chase results in Swagger’s throat being snapped across the top rope, setting up the Bodog for the pin at 2:48. Another short match in a series of them tonight.

Bo says the usual post match and says Jack will wind up being like Zeb Colter if he keeps up. Colter stole three packs of sugar and is a TERRIBLE TIPPER! Jack wouldn’t want to be someone like that would he? Swagger chases him off.

Long package on Cena vs. Lesnar with clips from the brawl on Monday spliced together with the sitdown interviews from Lesnar and Heyman.

This week’s sitdown interview was with Lesnar, who called himself a prize fighter. In this fight, John Cena is going to get another beating.

Henry feels good about his rally on Monday but admits he lots to a Russian in 1992. Another Russian defeated him in 1996 even though he was injured. This Sunday, he will crush Rusev.

Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

They lock up to start and fall out to the floor before heading right back inside. Reigns nails a big running elbow to the face but gets caught with a kick to his own face. Rusev puts on a quickly broken bearhug before dropping Roman with a spinwheel kick. We take a break and come back with Reigns caught in a reverse bearhug. Reigns fights up and hits a running clothesline to put both guys down.

Rusev charges into a Samoan drop and Reigns hammers away. The Apron Kick looks to set up the spear but Rollins comes out for a distraction. Rusev kicks Roman in the jaw and starts working on the back. The Accolade is countered with something like Cena’s ProtoBomb but with Reigns driving Rusev down (he basically throws him into the air and clotheslines Rusev’s stomach) but Rollins comes in off the top with the briefcase, accidentally hitting Rusev for the DQ at 9:27.

Rating: C-. The problem here was the same one that so many of these matches have: we were just waiting on the run-in for the DQ because neither of these guys were going to lose this match clean. Rusev getting the win is an interesting choice but it’s not like it really matters one way or another.

Reigns and Rollins brawl into the crowd and here’s Henry for the brawl. The American flag comes down and Henry slams Rusev to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Another week, another basic Smackdown. The wrestling was fine but most of it was too short to rate. It really didn’t do much as far as making me want to see Night of Champions, but the show has pretty much been dead in the water for the last two weeks. This show just came and went without anything to see, which makes for an uninteresting show to sit through. It did go by really fast though which always helps.

 

Results

Jimmy Uso b. Stardust – Superkick

Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Miz/Cesaro – Brogue Kick to Miz

Adam Rose b. Heath Slater – Party Foul

Wyatt Family b. Los Matadores/Big Show – Sister Abigail to Diego

Paige b. Nikki Bella – Paige Turner

Bo Dallas b. Jack Swagger – Bodog

Rusev b. Roman Reigna via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Smackdown – July 25, 2014: A Good Use Of Two Hours

Smackdown
Date: July 25, 2014
Location: Orlando Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Battleground and heading towards Summerslam with the announced main event of Brock Lesnar challenging John Cena for the WWE Title. Other than that the big story seems to be Reigns vs. Orton which would be Reigns’ first big solo match on the grand stage. A win over a former World Champion at Summerslam will be nothing but good for him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lesnar being announced as the #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Usos

Non-title. Jey and Ryback get things going with the big guy nailing a quick hiptoss but missing a Warrior Splash. Off to Jimmy for some chops but Ryback shoves him out of the corner. Axel comes in and hammers away before not ducking enough on a leapfrog from Jimmy. Curtis throws Jimmy to the floor and Ryback nails him with a running clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Ryback firing off chops to Jimmy in the corner before driving him over to the other corner for a beating from Axel. Curtis hits a running knee to the head for two and now Ryback’s Warrior Splash connects. We hit a chinlock for a bit before Jimmy fights up and nails an enziguri. The hot tag brings in Jey and things speed up. There’s the running Umaga attack to Axel and a Samoan drop gets two. Ryback gets low bridged to the floor and there’s the Flying Uso to take him down. Axel dropkicks Jey off the apron but some Twin Magic allows Jimmy to roll Curtis up for the pin at 6:50 shown of 9:50.

Rating: C. Not a bad tag match here with the Usos working well together as always. I wouldn’t mind seeing Ryback and Axel built up as potential challengers, at least as a filler until there’s another team to challenge the twins. I’m sure the Ascension will be brought up for a big showdown one day.

One other note: at the tapings, Ryback walked out on Axel after the match. That isn’t mentioned or shown here so I’m guessing WWE changed its mind.

Time for MizTV. Miz brags about winning the Intercontinental Title on Sunday and asks for quiet on the set so he can give his acceptance speech. He thanks his team and introduces his parents in the front row. Miz’s mom’s arms are more defined than her son’s. Mom says it’s awesome to have the Intercontinental Champion for a son. Miz asks who is her favorite WWE superstar and is surprised when she says Roman Reigns. “He’s hot!” The responses sounded intentionally scripted until the end.

Back in the ring and Miz keeps thanking people until Bo Dallas interrupts. JBL loves the idea of Dallas taking victory lap before he gets a victory. Bo says it’s ok that he wasn’t thanked by name because it’s clear that Miz Bolieves. Miz says he’s a huge fan and they should do lunch sometime.

This brings out Dolph Ziggler for another interruption. He says Miz’s speech was great but don’t pretend that was some big moment. The only award Miz should win is for hiding on the floor while Dolph did all the work. Both Miz and Dallas have million dollar smiles and they’re both full of it. Dallas says Ziggler can be like them if he Bolieves before nailing Dolph with the microphone. After a break we’ve got a match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bo Dallas

Miz is on commentary. One thing I really like here: Cole says this was made by the Authority during the break. But how will people know how the match was made without a GM to walk them through it? Dallas hammers away to start as Cole brings up how scripted Miz’s mom sounded. Bo stomps on Dolph but charges into a boot, setting up the running DDT for two. Ziggler throws him to the floor and teases a superkick at Miz before going back inside for two off a Fameasser. Miz gets on the apron for a distraction, allowing Dallas to grab a rollup and trunks to make him 17-0 at 3:30.

Rating: D+. This was angle advancement and for once a triple threat title match doesn’t sound too bad. I’m hoping Dallas winds up with the title at some point as he’s won me over with the over the top promos. There’s an actual story here and I’m curious to see which option they go with.

Post match Ziggler superkicks Bo but gets posted by the champion.

Roman Reigns says HHH has a Plan A and a Plan B, but no plan matters when you get hit with the Superman Punch. Tonight he’s facing Alberto Del Rio, and Alberto better have a plan because Reigns has the punch. He’s getting there with the talking.

Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose

No DQ after Ambrose got DQ’ed on Monday. Ambrose stomps him down in the corner and wants to know who sent Cesaro out here. He pulls out some Singapore canes and chairs but Cesaro kicks him off the apron. Cesaro gets a cane of his own but only hits the post, allowing Ambrose to take him over the barricade and into the timekeeper’s area. A box of something goes onto Cesaro’s head but he comes back with a cane shot to the chest as Ambrose dives off the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a cane over Dean’s face. He sets up two chairs and slams Dean onto the chairs, which don’t move. Back to the cane over the face before Cesaro nails him in the bad shoulder a few times. Dean says bring it and catches the next swing before hitting the rebound clothesline. Now it’s Ambrose’s turn to hammer away with the cane.

That’s not enough for Dean though as he sets up two chairs back to back but neither guy can nail a suplex. Instead Dean picks one up and suplexes Cesaro through the other chair for two. A middle rope chair shot to Cesaro’s arm has him in trouble but he slams Dean onto a chair for a near fall of his own. They head outside and Dean nails a suicide dive before throwing about ten chairs into the ring.

Ambrose throws Cesaro back in but here’s Rollins to jump Dean. It doesn’t seem to matter as Dean clotheslines him into the crowd but gets crotched on the top rope by Cesaro. A BIG superplex puts both guys down onto the pile of chairs for two and Cesaro is shocked. He’s so shocked that Ambrose grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 11:39 shown of 14:39.

Rating: B-. Take two guys and let them beat each other up for about fifteen minutes. Where could that go wrong? Ambrose is such an offbeat character and he’s perfect for a match like this. Cesaro can wrestle any style and fits in perfectly in a brawl. That superplex looked awesome too.

Post match Rollins comes in and helps Cesaro lay out Dean to a huge YOU SOLD OUT chant. Dean is helped out by medics.

We recap Paige vs. AJ from Paige’s debut up to her heel turn on Monday. They made this feel like a pretty huge feud.

Paige vs. Naomi

Paige skips to the ring ala AJ and actually pulls it off really well. She insists that she and AJ are still friends. Cameron comes out right after the bell and Paige gets in a cheap shot. The Rampaige (fisherman’s DDT) sets up the PTO for the win at 33 seconds.

Cameron beats up Naomi post match and says she’s here to make a statement. Naomi nails her in the face but gets knocked off the apron.

Goldust and Stardust look at an electrified crystal ball with Goldust saying he can see the golden stars. The Cosmic Key is discussed some more and Goldust pulls his head back. When he looks back, Stardust’s head has replaced the ball. Goldust is in a magician’s hat.

R-Truth vs. Bray Wyatt

Before the match we see Bray attacking Jericho backstage on Raw. Bray hammers away to start but walks into a running forearm. Truth dances a bit but turns around to see the Spider Walk. The running cross body to the ribs drops Truth sets up Sister Abigail for the pin at 2:04. Squash.

Post match Bray says Truth was there when Jericho needed him, but now Jericho isn’t here for Truth. Jericho may not be a savior, but Bray is.

Video on Stephanie being arrested. She’ll return on Raw. Again I ask: is it really a return when you were on the previous show?

We see Brock returning and Heyman’s promo.

Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

Reigns hammers away in the corner but Del Rio goes after the arm very quickly. He tries the armbreaker about a minute into the match but is quickly sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Reigns getting kicked in the face but coming back with a Samoan drop and a clothesline to send Del Rio outside. Reigns misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Del Rio to wrap the arm around the steel. A superkick drives the arm into the post again and it’s back inside for two.

Reigns breaks out of an armbar in a few seconds but Del Rio sends him into the buckle. The middle rope double stomp drives Reigns’ head into the mat. The bad arm is rammed into the steps a few times for two and the corner enziguri gets the same. Reigns tries to fight back but gets caught in the armbreaker over the ropes. That’s fine with Roman as he pulls Alberto up and nails an uppercut to knock Del Rio out to the floor.

Back in and Reigns hits a running clothesline but charges into a boot in the corner. A clothesline puts Del Rio down but he avoids the apron kick. I believe that’s the first time anyone has ever done that. Del Rio nails a baseball slide for two and puts Roman in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. Reigns avoids a charge and sends Del Rio’s shoulder into the post. Now the apron kick connects, followed by the Superman Punch and a spear for the pin at 9:32 shown of 12:32.

Rating: B. I liked this one way more than I was expecting. This is the kind of win that Reigns needs: hard fought, clean wins over big names. Del Rio may not be the best in the world, but he is a former multi-time World Champion and a guy with a solid resume. The more guys on his level that Reigns beats, the stronger he’s going to look.

Overall Rating: C+. This is the kind of Smackdown I can work with: focusing on the midcard and giving some big names time that they don’t get on Raw. This show doesn’t have all the promos and segments going on to clog everything up and it can be entertaining when they let the guys have some time to wrestle. We had two good matches tonight and some storybuilding stuff to fill in the gaps. That’s a good use of two hours on Friday night.

Results
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Small package to Axel
Bo Dallas b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Small package
Paige b. Naomi – PTO
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail
Roman Reigns b. Alberto Del Rio – Spear

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Battleground 2014: Like A Bad Sandwich With Awesome Bread

Battleground 2014
Date: July 20, 2014
Location: Tampa Bay Times Forum, Tampa Bay, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This show isn’t much more than a bridge to Summerslam but it’s a very nicely decorated bridge. The main event is Cena defending his title against Roman Reigns, Randy Orton and Kane in a fourway. Other than we’re getting the first showdown between Ambrose and Reigns, Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho and an Intercontinental Title battle royal. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Adam Rose

I would have bet on this being instead of Fandango. The match is sponsored by Mountain Dew Kickstarter. Layla and Summer are with Adam Rose, who is celebrating his birthday tonight. Fandango jumps him to start and grabs a quick belly to back suplex for two. The party dances around the ring but Fandango stops to yell at them, only to get slapped by Summer and Layla. Adam brings him back inside for a spinebuster and the Party Foul for the pin at 1:25.

Pre-Show: Cameron vs. Naomi

Naomi tries to fight at the bell but Cameron hides in the corner. A kick sends Naomi to the floor and Cameron drives her back first into the barricade. Back in and Cameron puts Naomi in a bow and arrow hold with her feet in Naomi’s back. Naomi gets out but misses a dropkick. Cameron doesn’t follow up and gets hammered with right hands. She tries to leave but Naomi rams her into the barricade before ripping at Cameron’s hair. Cameron elbows her in the face and grabs a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D-. This was awful. Do you know why it was awful? Because Cameron has no business being in a wrestling ring. Naomi is talented but isn’t a miracle worker and couldn’t do anything with Cameron here. I don’t know what WWE was expecting from this match but it couldn’t have been much higher than this.

The opening video talks about war and focuses on the fourway and Rollins vs. Ambrose. Nothing special.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Usos are defending and this is 2/3 falls. Jey pops Rowan in the jaw to start but Erick just looks annoyed. Off to Harper who chokes Jey on the ropes but gets dropkicked out to the floor. Rowan gets knocked off as well and the challengers have to regroup. Back in and Luke sends Jey throat first into the bottom rope. Rowan cranks on Jey’s neck before it’s back to Luke for a chinlock. Jey finally rolls free and tags in Jimmy who gets kicked in the face for the first fall at 4:47.

Rowan puts Jimmy in the double fist vice as Jey is finally back up on the apron. Jimmy fights up but fails at a slam attempt to keep the challengers in control. Back to Harper who rubs his forearms over Jimmy’s face but Jimmy backflips out of a belly to back suplex. Jey comes in off the hot tag and rolls Harper up for the pin at 8:07 title.

Erick throws Jey with a fall away slam for two and Luke catapults him into the ropes. Jey dives over a charging Rowan to send him into the post, setting up a hot tag to Jimmy. Both Wyatts get taken down by big dives to the floor before Jimmy walks the barricade to take Luke down again. Back inside and a high cross body gets two on Harper. The running Umaga attack in the corner gets two and Jimmy is getting frustrated.

A superkick is blocked and Harper hits a running big boot. Jimmy is sent outside for a suicide dive from Harper. Jey sends Rowan into the barricade and Erick is grabbing at his arm. Harper’s suicide dive is blocked by a superkick and Jey grabs a rollup for two. Back up and Harper plants Jey with a sitout powerbomb for a VERY close two and the fans are into it. Rowan goes up top but misses a splash. Harper goes up but gets crotched, allowing Jimmy to get the tag and hit the Superfly Splash for two on Rowan.

The Usos get crotched on the top and Rowan is up top to superplex both of them down for two on Jimmy. Everything breaks down again and Luke nails Jimmy with a superkick. Jimmy hits one of his own but Harper nails the discus lariat, only to have Jey break up the pin. Double superkicks drop both Wyatts and a double Superfly Splash pins Luke at 18:50.

Rating: A. Well that was worth the $10. This has to set up the Ascension coming up to challenge the Usos because there’s no one left for them to beat. The first fall could be reason to give them another match but it seems a bit too long at this point. I’m surprised by the ending but it was an excellent match with those near falls getting better and better every time.

We recap Ambrose vs. Rollins. Seth claimed that he founded the Shield and broke up the team by turning on Ambrose and Reigns while joining forces with the Authority. Rollins then won Money in the Bank but Ambrose has promised to never let Seth cash in the briefcase. The Authority has helped Rollins beat Ambrose down multiple times now and this is the first chance for a one on one match.

Rollins talks about how he’s not worried about this match and is ready to show Ambrose that he’s the best. Then, with Ambrose out of the picture, Rollins is going to be watching the fourway. Ambrose jumps Rollins and lays him out so HHH throws Ambrose out of the building. Apparently the match isn’t happening tonight, or at least not right now.

Divas Title: Paige vs. AJ Lee

Paige debuted the night after Wrestlemania and took the title from AJ in a huge upset. A few months later, AJ returned and took the title from Paige in an impromptu title defense. Paige has since been saying she and AJ are now frenemies. A loud CM Punk chant starts up and so do the Network plugs. Paige gets two off an early rollup and drives some knees into AJ’s chest for two.

We hit the chinlock on the champion as the fans aren’t sure who they like more. Back up and Paige tries to spear AJ to the floor but they stop at the ropes and it goes into very slow motion. They head back inside for a not great looking sunset bomb for two from Paige. For some reason Paige looks like she’s about to cry and shouts COME ON AJ. Back up and AJ stops a charge in the corner but gets caught in mid air. Paige tries to spin her around but gets caught in the Black Widow. She powers out again though and hits the Paige Turner for two. The PTO is countered into a rollup for two but AJ nails a Shining Wizard for the pin at 7:14.

Rating: C. Not great here but it’s so far and away better than the stuff from Alicia Fox and the Bellas that it’s hard to not be pleased. They’re making Paige look like a flash in the pan at this point but there will be more matches in this feud. It wasn’t bad save for some awkward looking spots and that’s acceptable for girls that don’t get to try this kind of stuff that often.

Summerslam ad.

Randy Orton goes into the depths of the building to make amends with Kane for the RKO on Monday. Kane isn’t pleased but Orton says their enemies are Cena and Reigns. The monster says those two aren’t leaving as champion because the winner is right here.

The panel (Booker T., Christian and Alex Riley) talk about the show so far and pick winners for the World Title match.

We look back at Colter and Lana’s detente from Raw.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

Lana does her usual schtick before the match, talking about how American propaganda has led to what happened in Iraq and Afghanistan. Colter comes out to talk as well but gets slapped, triggering a brawl between Rusev and Swagger. The bell rings and Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock but Rusev bails outside. Rusev hammers away but gets knocked back to the floor. Another Patriot Lock doesn’t work and Rusev throws Swagger over in a fall away slam.

Off to a nerve hold for a bit before Rusev fires off kicks to the thighs and chest. Swagger stomps on Rusev’s bare feet and hits a Vader Bomb for two. Swagger is sent to the apron and does a very bad job of sticking his head back in so Rusev can kick him in the chest. The superkick is caught in the Patriot Lock but Rusev finally dives forward to the ropes. They head outside with Swagger chop blocking Rusev and putting the hold on again. Rusev crawls up the steps and rolls Swagger face first into the post before beating the count at 10:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and lets the feud continue when the real life tensions have calmed down a little bit. They did a good job of making Swagger look good and the more wins Rusev gets over big names, the better off he’s going to be. It was nothing great but it extends the feud and that’s all it needed to do.

Rusev puts the unconscious Swagger in the Accolade.

Goldust and Stardust talk about the cosmic key. Stardust thinks they should watch the stars tonight.

Here’s Seth Rollins for his match, even though HHH has officially tweeted that Ambrose will not be in the arena again tonight. He says Dean behaven irresponsibly earlier tonight and insists that he is named the winner by forefit. Rollins goes up the aisle but Ambrose attacks him because wrestling security sucks.

Dean sends him onto the Spanish announce table but security pulls him off. Ambrose breaks through again as Rollins shouts at him. HHH comes out as they’re fighting again and tells security to get Ambrose out of here. Security literally picks Ambrose up to carry him out but Rollins dives on Dean. HHH finally gets Rollins calm and holds up his arm.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt. Jericho came back again but got beaten down by the Wyatts. Jericho wisely ran away instead of fighting all three of them but tonight it’s one on one.

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt

Jericho takes him into the corner to start but gets knocked back by a single right hand. A clothesline puts Jericho down again and a kick to the chest gets one. Jericho fights out of a neck crank and dropkicks Bray to the apron for the springboard dropkick to the floor. The Family helps Bray up so Jericho dives onto all three of them.

The referee ejects the Family and Bray isn’t happy. He lets some of his anger go by knocking Jericho off the apron and onto a cameraman. Back in and Jericho is sent to the ropes but he hangs on and nails a top rope ax handle. Bray pops back up and they botch a belly to back suplex into a gutbuster spot. The second attempt works better and Jericho is in trouble again. Bray’s backsplash hits knees and both guys are down.

Bray puts Jericho on the middle rope and brings him down with a kind of jawbreaker for two. Jericho comes right back with the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. Bray spider walks to the corner before slamming Chris down for two. Jericho whips him into the corner and Bray hits his head on the bottom buckle. They head to the apron and Bray tries a DDT but Jericho lands on the middle rope instead of the edge of the ring. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the clean pin at 15:00.

Rating: D+. Ummm…WHAT? Why in the world did this happen? Bray is supposed to be this new young guy and he’s jobbing clean to Chris Jericho? The match was awkward throughout and it felt like they were on different pages. Maybe Jericho isn’t back to his level, but the ending is beyond questionable.

Rollins leaves and says he doesn’t need security. He goes into the parking lot but Ambrose pops out of the trunk of a car and beats Rollins up again. Seth finally gets away in the car.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

Big E., Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, R-Truth, Ryback, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Titus O’Neal, Heath Slater, Diego, Sin Cara, Xavier Woods, Great Khali, Kofi Kingston, Bo Dallas, Zack Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, The Miz

No Rob Van Dam for some reason. Bad News Barrett comes out and says the new champion will be like an old couple retiring here in Florida. Initially it will be great, but it’s delaying the inevitable. Everyone goes after Khali to start but he shoves them off and cleans house before throwing out Woods and Ryder. A Brogue Kick stuns Khali and everyone puts him out. Dallas eliminates Sin Cara and Ryback does the same to Truth.

Axel is tossed as they’re going through this match quickly. Damien Sandow (a beach bum here) gets thrown out by Diego to no reaction but Ryback throws out the Matador a second later. Ryback slams Dallas down and all of a sudden only Ryback and Sheamus are standing. A quick slugout ends with a Brogue Kick for the elimination. Miz can’t throw Sheamus out and gets a Zig Zag for trying. He slides out to the floor under the ropes and everyone goes back to brawling.

Titus throws Sheamus around like he’s nothing but Bo eliminates him for a big celebration. Kofi and Cesaro go at it with Kofi missing Trouble in Paradise and getting backdropped over. He hangs on like he’s trying a sunset bomb but pulls himself back in. Cesaro grabs Kofi’s dreadlocks but gets dropkicked down. Both guys are still in. Del Rio and Ziggler go at it with Alberto putting on the armbreaker over the ropes. Del Rio tries the low superkick on the apron and gets his neck snapped across the top rope for an elimination.

We’re down to Kofi, Dallas, Slater, Cesaro, Big E., Sheamus, Ziggler and Miz. Cesaro suplexes Big E. out and throws Kofi out but Big E. catches him on his shoulders. Cesaro suplexes Kofi off Big E.’s shoulders and back into the ring (why?) before poking him in the eye and suplexing him to the floor. Slater dumps Cesaro in a huge upset but gets thrown to the apron by Sheamus. A Brogue Kick puts him out and a slingshot shoulder knocks Bo silly. The ten forearms to the chest have Dallas in trouble and Ziggler dropkicks him out.

We’re down to Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Miz is somewhere on the floor. They slug it out and no one can hit a big move. Sheamus loads up a powerbomb and they botch a counter with a very awkward landing. Thankfully they seem to be fine and Sheamus catapults Dolph over the top but he hangs on. Dolph pulls Sheamus out but he hangs on as well. Sheamus loads up the slingshot shoulder but gets superkicked out, allowing Miz to come in and throw out Ziggler to win at 14:20.

Rating: D+. Erg. Why go with something interesting when you can go with someone who has held the title multiple times before? I’m glad they didn’t unify the titles but I would have loved to see someone like Dallas get this for the promos alone. At the end of the day though, this is a death knell for Miz’s push, as is the custom in WWE.

We recap the main event. Cena refused to side with the Authority so HHH put him in this match with Orton, Kane and Reigns, who HHH hated a month ago but now is ok with being in a title shot. He explained it in an interview on WWE.com but it still doesn’t hold up.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane

Cena is defending and has both belts again here. It’s a brawl to start and Orton is in blue instead of black. Randy sends Orton into the steps but Reigns fights off both Authority members. A double suplex drops Reigns and gives Orton two as Kane seems to play defense against Cena. The champion comes back in and Orton takes him down for two more as Kane guards against Reigns.

Kane breaks up an AA attempt on Orton as the early going continues. Reigns and Kane fight on the floor so Cena can start up his finishing sequence on Orton. The AA is blocked so Cena throws Orton to the floor before turning around to see Reigns. Kane and Orton break it up before anything happens and Kane gets two on Reigns to annoy Randy. They start to shove each other and a YES chant starts up.

Orton says it’s supposed to be Kane watching his back but Kane uppercuts him. Kane loads up a superplex but Cena and Reigns come in to make it a Tower of Doom. Now we get Cena vs. Reigns but Kane sits up to stop it again. They stop Kane to the floor but Orton sneaks in with a backbreaker to Roman. A double Elevated DDT puts down both heroes but Kane breaks up a pin.

Cena and Reigns send Kane to the floor before Cena grabs an STF. Reigns adds a half crab at the same time but Kane makes the save. An AA sends Kane back to the floor and Orton is put in the STF again. Reigns pulls Orton to the ropes and throws him over the announce table, FINALLY giving us the showdown. They slug it out and Reigns tries a clothesline but Cena goes the wrong way so it’s kind of an old Vader body attack. The STF is countered and Reigns hits a Samoan drop. The Superman Punch misses and Cena hits the ProtoBomb.

Reigns pops up and hits the Superman Punch followed by the spear but Kane makes the save (with Cena’s head up and watching Kane come in the entire way). Kane gets hammered down and Reigns hits the jumping kick to all three guys. Orton gets speared through the barricade and the fans think this is awesome. Back in and Reigns spears Kane down but Cena makes the save.

Cena throws Roman to the floor and hits the AA for two as Reigns makes the save. Reigns and Cena slug it out again and an AA gets two with Kane breaking it up. Both heroes get chokeslammed but Reigns kicks out at two. The tombstone is countered and another spear connects until Orton makes the save. The RKO puts Reigns down but Cena comes in with an AA to Orton before pinning Kane to keep the title at 18:15.

Rating: B. Good match but the ending never being in doubt hurt things a bit. Some of the near falls did have me thinking we might get a surprise but at the end of the day this was the best option they had. Cena keeps the title and now we’re heading to his showdown with Lesnar where Brock gets his win back next month.

Overall Rating: C. This was underwhelming due to some of the booking. Miz winning is acceptable but not very exciting. On the other hand, I see absolutely no reason for Bray to lose to Jericho. At this point, Jericho should be there to put people over, not pin guys in featured matches at Wrestlemania three months ago. Other than that there was some good stuff here and it was miles better than last year, but it felt a lot more like a filler show than it should have. Granted it was a filler show so my expectations hit a hard ceiling during the build up. The opener and main event were both good so the show was worth the $10, but the middle pretty much sucked. Summerslam has potential as the big blowoff show though.

Results
Adam Rose b. Fandango – Party Foul
Cameron b. Naomi – Rollup
Usos b. Wyatt Family – Double Superfly Splash to Harper
AJ Lee b. Paige – Shining Wizard
Rusev b. Jack Swagger via countout
Chris Jericho b. Bray Wyatt – Codebreaker
The Miz won a battle royal last eliminating Dolph Ziggler
John Cena b. Roman Reigns, Randy Orton and Kane – Cena pinned Kane after a spear from Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – March 11: John Morrison

Now listen. This ain’t no make believe. Today is John Morrison.

Morrison won Tough Enough III along with Matt Cappotelli in 2003. The pair would head to OVW for awhile with a few WWE shots in between. Here’s one of their first matches, from Heat in January 2004.

Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Matt Cappotelli/John Hennigan

Cade takes Cappotelli down to the mat before it’s off to Jindrak with an arm wringer. Matt comes back with a spinning cross body for two but Jindrak blasts him in the face with a right hand. Hennigan makes a blind tag but gets his head taken off with an elbow to the jaw. A backbreaker gets two on John as the Tough Enough trainer Al Snow is coaching from commentary.

Hennigan and Cappotelli hit a double hiptoss into a nipup and a legdrop by Matt for two. Jindrak hits his great clothesline to take over and cranks on Matt’s arm. Cappotelli counters a backdrop and tags in Hennigan to clean house with dropkicks. Everything breaks down and Jindrak snaps John’s neck across the top rope to give Cade the pin.

Rating: D+. It’s really hard to complain about two rookies having a lame match. At this point in their careers they needed ring time more than anything else and that’s what they were getting here. Neithe guy looked great out there but to be fair, they were facing Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak. Not exactly the Hart Foundation or the Fantastics.

Hennigan would become Eric Bischoff’s lackey and start going by Johnny Spade and then Johnny Nitro, which finally stuck. He would stay on Raw for a few months before being sent back down to OVW as part of MNM with Joey Mercury and Melina. They would dominate the OVW Tag Team Titles for awhile before being called up to the Smackdown roster and debut on April 21, 2005.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

MNM is challenging of course and the champions have been having issues lately. Eddie goes off on Nitro to start but it’s quickly off to Mercury. The champions send Joey to the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie hammering on Nitro before it’s off to Rey for a kick to the chest. A dropkick sets up the slingshot hilo for two and a belly to back gets the same on Nitro. MNM gets in a few cheap shots and knocks Eddie off the apron to take over.

Mercury throws Eddie onto Nitro’s knee for two and a running knee to the ribs gets the same. We hit the abdominal stretch for a few seconds until Eddie nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A hot tag brings in Mysterio to clean house, including a springboard seated senton for two on Mercury. Everything breaks down and Eddie busts out Three Amigos on Mercury to set up the 619. Melina makes the save and kisses Melina, allowing MNM to hit the Snapshot for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was mainly there so Eddie and Rey could split up after the match and start their feud. It also allows MNM to look good in their debut match and get the titles on a young team. Eddie and Rey handled the wrestling here but the Snapsnot was a nice double team move. Picture a 3D with Nitro hitting a DDT instead of a cutter.

We’re going to skip way ahead now because there was very little of note for MNM in the next year. They dominated the Smackdown Tag Title scene against opponents such as the new LOD, the Mexicools and Tatanka/Matt Hardy. Soon after Wrestlemania XXII, Nitro would be sent to Raw where he would jump into the Intercontinental Title hunt, including a three way for the title at Vengeance 2006.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro

Shelton is champion here and is a heel at the moment. This match was on the history of the IC Title DVD for seemingly no reason but the more I thought about it the more it makes sense. We have three midcard guys here that have no chance of being world champion at this point and need the credibility. A match like this is a great way to let them get over and gives them something to go after. It’s perfect and sums up what the title is supposed to be about.

The winner of this would feud with Jeff Hardy for awhile then Umaga, and then Santino would win it and cripple the belt for years until Jericho and Rey recently helped save it. Nitro is Morrison as you likely know. Melina is with him and is just freaking yummy looking. They’re going with the old school one on one formula here which is fine I guess. Carlito hits a nice dive to the floor to take everyone out and get the crowd awake. Good night Melina can freaking scream.

It’s so sad to see Carlito doing all kinds of flips and impressive looking stuff considering the levels of laziness he would reach in the future. Shelton catches Nitro’s flip into a powerbomb position and just falls backwards into a snake eyes for a great move. Even Ross is bragging about Carlito. There are some nice triple and double person spots in this thing. Lawler says that Melina is a bit upset by Nitro getting crotched.

In an AMAZING spot that gets a well deserved HOLY CRAP chant, Nitro is in the Tree of Woe, Carlito is standing on the top, Shelton jumps from the mat to the top, Shelton hooks Carlito in a suplex as Nitro does a massive sit-up to hook Shelton in a powerbomb. That looked awesome. Shelton takes a Backstabber, called the Backcracker here but Nitro pulls him out and gets the pin and the title in a steal. Nice way to end a good match.

Rating: B. I really liked this one as it was very fast paced and a great example of three guys being given a chance and showing off with it. This one worked very well and is probably the best match of the night so far, although not by much. This was a very fun match though and worked.

Nitro would spend the next few months trading the title with Jeff Hardy, becoming a three time champion by November. The feud culminated with a ladder match on the November 20, 2006 episode of Raw.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Ladder match with Jeff defending in case you’re stupid like that. The fans are all behind Hardy as they lock up to start. Johnny bails to the floor but comes back in with some uppercuts to take over. The Whisper in the Wind puts Nitro back down but Nitro comes back with a facebuster. There’s the screech from Melina and Nitro gets the ladder. Before it can be put inside though Jeff hits a baseball slide to take him out. A big dive takes out Nitro and the ladder as we take a break.

Back with Jeff loading up the ladder in the ring, only to have Nitro shoving him down and into the ropes. Jeff gets back up and rams Nitro face first into the ladder before going up and blocking a superplex off the ladder. Jeff loads up something off the top of the ladder but gets crotched on the top rope instead. Nitro loads up the ladder but Jeff comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take the ladder and Nitro down at the same time.

Nitro comes back with a catapult but launches Jeff onto the ladder for no apparent reason, causing a fight on top of said ladder. In a pretty awesome move, Johnny jumps off the ladder and dropkicks Jeff on the way down, sending both guys crashing down to the mat. With nothing else to do, Nitro throws the ladder at Hardy in the corner to crush him again. Johnny goes a climbing but Jeff makes an easy stop. A slam on the ladder keeps Nitro down but Jeff’s Swanton attempt only hits ladder.

Johnny throws the ladder at Jeff’s head and dropkicks him down but can’t follow up. Jeff’s back is whipped hard into the corner, allowing Nitro to bring in the big ladder. It gets driven into the champion’s ribs before being set up in the middle of the ring. Actually never mind as Nitro moves it over to the corner instead. Hardy comes back and sends him into the big ladder before climbing up the regular one. They both climb up, resulting in a sunset bomb to knock Nitro silly. A legdrop off the ladder keeps Nitro down and Hardy puts the ladder over him before climbing up to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was more about the brutality of the spots instead of the drama and that’s definitely an acceptable way to go. It’s not on the, pardon the pun, highest rung of the ladder match ladder, but for a free one on TV, there isn’t much to complain about on this one. Hardy doing his stunt show was a tried and true idea and it worked here fine.

Nitro would reunite with Mercury soon after this, leading to a tag team match at December to Dismember.

MNM vs. Hardys

This was an open challenge that was accepted by MNM. Who cares that neither was on ECW at the time? This was one of two matches announced for the show. What does that tell you? MNM beat up the Hardys on Tuesday and that’s all there is to it. Jeff is IC Champion here by the way. Matt and Mercury start us off.

The Hardys are dominating and throw in a spin cycle which is always a cool move. It’s like a double suplex but they spin the other guy around. It’s hard to explain. And now we get the weird part of this: ECW chants by fans that actually think this is a real ECW show. They start a she’s a crack w**** chant at Melina and no one knows how to react to it.

Matt hits splash mountain on Nitro (Morrison) for two. Apparently Melina has herpes. This show really was doomed from the start on this. I didn’t know Scott Armstrong was refereeing this far back. Tazz isn’t helping things either with his idiotic commentary. To be fair though, he could be far more annoying, like that scream from Melina.

Tazz throws in that Cole doesn’t like women. If true, I’m not entirely surprised. In a funny bit, MNM go for the Twist of Fate and Swanton but Matt fights off and gets the hot tag to Jeff. Matt hits a Pescado on Mercury which is more or less caught and reversed to set up the big pile of aerial moves which never gets old.

Jeff misses the Swanton as Mercury pulls Nitro out. This has been pretty good so far. Tazz gets off on the screaming I think. Morrison looks weird with blonde hair. It’s MNM in control now as they beat up Jeff. Yeah Tazz is driving me crazy. Melina is a crack w**** again apparently. It amazes me that she was more or less just the sexy valet at this point and became a great worker (by comparison) in just a few years.

They’re being given a lot of time if nothing else as we’re about 15 minutes into this and there seems to be a good amount of time to go in it. Is Tazz supposed to be Jerry Lawler or something? If he is he’s somehow more annoying than Jerry if that’s possible. Jeff gets a Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere to set up the tag to Matt.

In a cool spot, Jeff is tagged back in and goes up. Matt tries to set Mercury up for a powerbomb by handing him to Jeff but Nitro makes the save and then shoves Mercury up to Jeff so he can hit a hurricanrana. That was freaking cool. Nitro accidentally dropkicks Melina and Jeff rolls him up for a LONG two.

Jeff takes the Snapshot but Matt makes the save. This is awesome stuff now. MNM sets for a top rope Snapshot but Matt saves with a double cutter to let Jeff hit a Swanton onto both of them for the pin. By the way, the Snapshot is Nitro holding up the other guy and Mercury hitting an elevated DDT.

Rating: B+. This was very good stuff as they were given a lot of time and it worked very well. This was a way to let MNM look good, even though at the end of the day they weren’t even the best tag team that Morrison was even a part of. Either way this was good stuff and it worked very well. Definitely good, but the show would go all downhill from here.

Soon after this Nitro would be sent to ECW where he would replace Chris Benoit in the ECW Title match at Vengeance 2007.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro

Again this was supposed to be Benoit instead of Nitro which had me drooling over the thought of it. Punk cleanshaven is odd looking. Nitro would become Morrison in about a month or so. We hear the term “personal reasons” which no one knew the meaning of at the time. It would be discovered tomorrow afternoon which is chilling when you think about it. What was he doing during this show?

I made a thread once about these two being the real rivalry in WWE over the last 3 years and I still think that. The fans want tables. Good luck with that. Nitro hits that springboard rotating kick which looks great. Johnny Nitro sounds like a guy Sandman should massacre in a TV squash. I think that might have been the idea actually. This is the standard decent match between the two of them but it’s really nothing all that special.

Nitro was little more than a glorified jobber that had a decent feud with Jeff Hardy a few months earlier but other than that he had a hot girlfriend and that’s about it. Oh and nice abs. Nitro uses the ropes to get extra leverage and like any other heel, it gets heat for him. Again, less is more. Simple cheating will get the crowd to boo you. Nitro hits that corkscrew neckbreaker while Punk’s feet are on the ropes like Orton’s elevated DDT to get the win and the title. Wow that match flew by and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing in this case.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but not great at all. Nitro wasn’t very good yet and it was clear here. He would become John Morrison and gain confidence in a few weeks which was huge to his career and still works to an extent today. Anyway, this wasn’t bad, but they would have FAR better matches later.

After changing his name to John Morrison, he would hook up with The Miz as a goofy comedy tag team. They would actually have some success and win more Tag Team Titles, which they would defend against CM Punk/Kane at Judgment Day 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kane/CM Punk

 

If I remember this right there is zero story to this match at all. Morrison has the same music and nearly the same intro as he does today. It’s so shocking to look at Miz and know what was coming for him in just a few years. Morrison beat Kane on ECW which is about the extent of the build. Punk would go to Raw in the Draft in just over a month. He’s Mr. MITB at the moment also. Oh and Kane is ECW Champion. There was a talent exchange or whatever going on with Smackdown and ECW where they could be on both shows if you’re wondering how this is possible.

 

This actually gets big match intro treatment for no apparent reason. Odd indeed. Punk and Miz start us off and it’s so weird to see these two as midcarders. Off to Kane, who is by far and away the biggest star in this match. Kane beats Morrison up with ease but can’t do the same to Miz. Wow that sounds weird in context. Punk comes in with a slingshot knee drop to Morrison for two.

 

Tarantula version of the Anaconda Vice which is rather awesome goes on. Back off to Kane who massacres Miz a bit more, including the clothesline for no cover. Morrison goes all angry on Kane, hammering away with everything he can to slow baldie down. Miz and Morrison both have a lack of finishing moves for the most part other than Morrison having some weak stuff so there isn’t much of a way that they can put Kane down.

 

Luckily for them it’s off to Punk who beats on Morrison as is his custom. Down goes Miz and a snap powerslam gets two on Morrison. Springboard clothesline gets two on Morrison who is looking awesome with these kickouts. Miz tries to grab Morrison’s leg to slow things down a lot and is chokeslamed on the floor for his efforts. That distraction though lets the Moonlight Drive (neckbreaker) end Punk mostly clean.

 

Rating: C. Not a bad match here at all but it probably should have been a TV main event more than anything else. You could certainly see Miz and Morrison growing up here as they managed to stay away from the pins which was the right thing to do. Having matches with guys like Kane and Punk was what made them get a lot better in a hurry, which is exactly why someone like Kane was on ECW. Fine little match here.

Miz and Morrison would get big enough that they would face DX on the November 3, 2008 Raw.

D-Generation X vs.  John Morrison/The Miz

HHH is WWE Champion. DX does their intro and we get a clip from ECW where Miz/Morrison made fun of them for being old and then beat up some DX impersonators. Shawn points out that the impersonator has a huge nose. Maybe Shawn just got used to it over the years but THAT THING IS HUGE! They also mocked his chaps. You can punch his wife, you can spit in his face, BUT NO ONE MOCKS THE CHAPS!

HHH points out them making fun of Shawn for losing his hair. Shawn doesn’t remember this. HHH: “Well I’m pretty sure…” Shawn: “No they didn’t.” HHH: “Shawn I’m sure…” Shawn: “Drop it!” HHH: Well ok….” Shawn: “WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!” HHH makes fun of Miz/Morrison’s high school pictures. Miz looks like a horse and Morrison enjoys rest stop sex. Shawn says he’s ready, the fans say they’re ready, we get a clip of Big Dick Johnson giving Miz a lap dance for some reason which traumatizes Shawn, and now we get to the DX intro, complete with more gay jokes from the Game. Funny stuff.

Oh yeah we have a match to get to. This is joined in progress with Morrison getting two on HHH. HHH takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s a double tag. Shawn knocks Miz down and hits the elbow to set up the Kick. Morrison breaks that up and Miz takes over via a clothesline. Miz whips Shawn into the corner where Shawn flips, followed by Miz’s corner clothesline.

Morrison comes in and pokes Shawn in the eye so Shawn kicks him in the head. Off to HHH who cleans house with the knees to the face. Facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree on Morrison but Miz breaks it up, only to walk into the spinebuster. Morrison imitates Shawn with a forearm, nipup and then tuning up the band, with the kick connecting on HHH. Miz and Morrison do crotch chops and Miz loads up a Pedigree, which is easily countered. Shawn kicks Miz’s head off and the Pedigree ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all as Miz/Morrison got to show off a bit here. There was never any doubt as to who would win as the non-degerates didn’t mean much yet. Seeing them imitate DX’s stuff was good though and that’s what popped the fans for the most part. Fun little match.

 

The team would be split up in the Draft and Morrison would be sent to Smackdown. He would receive an Intercontinental Title match on September 4, 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. Both guys try fast rollups but it’s a standoff. They go to a test of strength grip and Mysterio fires some kicks to the legs, only to have Morrison get on top of him for some two counts. A headlock gives Morrison control on the mat as we’re still in the feeling out process so far.

Commentary goes away for a bit and comes back with Morrison rolling up Rey for two. Rey gets his first big move in and hits a rana to send both guys to the floor. They’re going in slow motion so far due to a lack of a reason for them to fight which is the constant problem you can have in a match like this. Back in and Mysterio charges into the corner and his shoulder CRACKS off the post. That sounded great. Or awful. I’m not sure which.

They finally speed things up with Rey snapping off a big headscissors to fire up the crowd and for two. Morrison starts making Mysterio miss him before getting kicked in the face and splashed for two. Rey hooks a chinlock to give both guys a chance to breathe. The fans seem to be far more behind Morrison which is kind of strange. Morrison fights up and hits a front flip into a dropkick for two in a sweet counter.

Standing shooting star gets two for Morrison before things speed up again and Rey is sent flying out to the floor. That gets two back inside as does a spinning legdrop from Morrison. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rey hits a pair of rollups for two. Morrison gets out of the 619 and they both try crossbodies at once.

We take a break and come back with both guys still down and Morrison getting two. Morrison puts on a bodyscissors which doesn’t get him anywhere. Rey sends him to the apron and out to the floor followed by another hurricanrana to the outside. A springboard legdrop gets two but the sitout bulldog is countered into a mat slam by Morrison for two. A running knee to the face of Rey gets two as does a spinning cross body from Mysterio.

Mysterio goes up but jumps into a dropkick which gets another near fall. Starship Pain misses and Rey hits the 619 out of nowhere. The springboard splash misses and the Flying Chuck (think Cody’s Disaster Kick) gets a very close two. John goes up and after countering a rana attempt, hits a middle rope Starship Pain for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I haven’t seen this match before actually and the only thing I can think of to say is that’s it? It was good and the ending had some solid near falls, but if this was a match of the year candidate the this was one of the weakest years ever for wrestling. It was a good match and entertained me, but man this just didn’t fire me up other than once or twice near the end. I don’t get the hype here and I think it’s one of those situations where people confuse length of a match with the quality of the match.

Morrison would be in the World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber in 2010.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. Chris Jericho

Rey is out first and thankfully he’s only been world champion once. Morrison is out second and gets a solid pop. Remember he has a bad ankle allegedly. Jericho gets a solid pop of his own. Taker is fourth and this is the interesting thing. In case you didn’t hear, he was set on fire by the pyro.

Let’s see if I can see it unlike anyone else watching the show. Ok the fire is going on and he’s not there yet. Ok there he is and everything seems ok. The flames keep going up but you can’t see where they are in relation to him. Everything seems fine at the moment though.

RIGHT THERE! The flames go up in the middle of everything where he would have been standing so I’d bet that’s where it happened. It’s right as Chimmel is saying his name. Oh yeah when they go down he’s nearly running out of there. Oh man he is TICKED.

There’s a moment where the camera locks on Rey which is when I’m guessing Taker has water poured on him. Now let’s think about this for a minute. Taker, other than running to the ring, which is fairly understandable I’d say, completely stayed in character there.

Think about that: he was just involved in what could have been a life threatening situation or if nothing else something that could have caused severe injury to him. He stayed in character. You can complain about him all you want, but that my friends is discipline. I don’t think the announcers have a clue what was going on but they play it up as the Chamber changing him. Punk cuts a promo on his way to the ring which of course is epic.

Seriously, this gimmick could carry him for ten years easily. Truth cuts him off. As I’ve said before, wrestlers that get the crowd involved or play to them are ALWAYS going to be bigger deals. Think about this match for example: Truth, Jericho, Rey and Punk got the biggest reactions. Taker here is an exception but look at Morrison. He doesn’t play to the crowd much and he got a far weaker reaction.

Truth talks to the fans, Rey does the mask thing, Jericho and Punk’s promos are insulting to the crowd. They get bigger reactions and they’re the four here with world titles. Morrison doesn’t have one yet does he? And the length of time in the company argument doesn’t hold up as Morrison has been in WWE longer or as long as Punk.

Morrison and Punk start us off. Apparently Serena is Punk’s concubine. Ok then. Truth is dominating here. They’re using the Chamber really well here. That’s a big thing that puts this WAY ahead of its I guess you would say counterpart, Hell in a Cell. They messed that show up so badly I can’t comprehend it.

After a missed elbow, GTS puts Truth out. And now we wait for the rest of the clock and Punk gets to talk even more. That’s a great mini gimmick. He mentions making Taker tap. Love that. It’s Rey in next so we’re getting what’s likely a Mania preview here. They fight outside on the cage area with Rey getting slammed into the cage. Cool spot.

Rey is getting destroyed with a capital destr here. Punk tries a GTS from the top rope and Cole makes me laugh. Striker: you can tear a tendon up there. Cole: how about falling on your head? And Rey gets the rana and a splash from the top for the pin to get us down to four. Ok then.

Next in is Jericho to a nice reaction. He hits this 619 but Jericho gets outside to avoid the really weak pin off a really bad move. Rey hits the Spiderman spot which is always cool. These two can’t have a bad match I don’t think. Rey hooks a form of a dragon sleeper and the IWC rejoices. Solid stuff here.

Rey is in the Walls as the clock ticks down and it’s Morrison. For ZERO apparent reason, he goes for Jericho who lets go of the hold. Yep that makes no sense at all. In a cool spot Morrison goes up top and Rey shoves him into the pod. That would hurt like something that hurts a lot. Morrison hits the standing shooting star on Rey. Solid stuff but they’re just milling around waiting on Taker to come in here. Jericho hits a SWEET backbreaker on Rey to stop the 619 for no apparent reason.

Morrison gets that springboard spinkick that I freaking love. Rey is the only one with something close to control here. And Starship Pain puts Mysterio out to get us down to three. Morrison is getting to showcase himself here which is a big deal. Jericho gets the Walls on John and there’s the clock. And he hits Jericho which makes NO SENSE but whatever. Taker is getting NO reaction here.

The two living guys go after Taker which makes sense. Apparently half of Taker’s offense is his defense. What grade did you teach Striker? Jericho does something great as he hides in a pod. That’s very smart. Shame they’re clear so he’s easy to see.

With Jericho down Taker goes after Morrison who hits the kick again to put him down. Starship Pain is blocked and there goes Morrison’s chances. Jericho is hiding again which is brilliant. In a great looking visual, Morrison is hanging onto the cage while Jericho and Taker fight underneath him.

Taker is SLAMMED into the pod which would hurt horribly. Taker getting a chant now. Morrison gets chokeslammed onto the cage and he’s gone. How have Jericho and Taker never had a long feud? There go the straps. Jericho is in control here but both guys are banged up. Taker goes for the chokeslam with FREAKY looking eyes.

After a bunch of counters, Jericho gets the Walls. Cole points out that he’s in the middle of the ring, even though in a bit he points out that ropes mean nothing in this match. Make up your freaking mind Cole. Jericho hits the Codebreaker which Taker jumps in to, making it look all the better. Last Ride hits and Taker kind of throws him with it. That looked great. We get the Tombstone sign and there’s Shawn. You know the rest.

Rating: A-. I loved this but I would have liked seeing Jericho get the clean pin and for the first two guys getting more time. Either way they pushed a lot of Mania here which is the best thing they could do. The wrestling here was great and they had Morrison do what he had to do out there. This was great stuff though and it worked very well. Great match.

Morrison wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year but would get on a roll in the winter, leading to a WWE Championship falls count anywhere match with Miz defending on the first Raw of 2011.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Morrison

No Lawler due to the beatdown last week by Miz. Morrison takes down Riley to start and we hit the floor very quickly. Morrison fights both guys off and comes off the top of the big W with a huge cross body for two. Back to the ring as that was a very quick segment up there. Missile dropkick gets two for the challenger. The running knee gets two also as Riley interferes. Morrison DESTROYS Riley and we take a break as the paramedics attend to him.

Back with Miz setting up a piece of railing up against the stage. He can’t suplex Morrison through it for awhile but Morrison tries one too many counters and winds up taking a backdrop into it for two. Back towards the ring again with Miz in control. They slug it out in the ring with Morrison taking over again.

Morrison gets Miz down and goes for Starship Pain. Miz rolls out of the way and gets the Reality Check for two. He charges but rams into the post. Starship Pain hits for two and a big kick sends Miz to the floor. Morrison sets up a table and goes for Starship Pain off the top through the table. The champion moves and the table more or less explodes in an awesome looking spot. That somehow only gets two and Miz is ticked off. The Skull Crushing Finale on the floor ends this clean at approximately 22:00.

Rating: B+. This was a good brawl and a solid back and forth match. I’m not sure if I get the point of having Morrison use his title shot on the first show of the year rather than the Rumble but there’s time to see what they’ve got planned I suppose. This had some good spots and there were a few moments of possibility that the title could change hands. Good stuff but it never hit the level they wanted it to I don’t think.

 

Morrison would get another shot in a cage with Cena involved as well at Extreme Rules 2011.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

 

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape.  Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him.  Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already.  Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save.  Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves.  They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air.  I give up.  Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster.  That looked SICK.  Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape.  Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes.  Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape.  He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do.  With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door.  Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor.  Cena gets two on Morrison.  BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two.  Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz.  They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down.  Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head.  Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison.  Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused.  Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage.  He hasn’t touched Miz.  Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up.  He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena.  They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore.  Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena?  Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine.  The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts.  This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign.  They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

 

Soon after this Morrison would get the losing streak angle because he said his girlfriend Melina should have been on Wrestlemania instead of Trish Stratus. He won a match on Raw to earn a US Title shot at Survivor Series 2011.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Morrison lost FOREVER, then won a match on Raw after Mason Ryan helped, and gets a title match as a result. This was during a bad period where Ziggler had a rock cover of his song which didn’t work at all. Feeling out process to start and the fans want RYDER. This was when Ryder was white hot but WWE decided that crushing him for the sake of Kane and Jack Swagger. Ziggler gets taken down by the arm as the announcers talk about Ryder.

The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.

As the fans chant the same thing I’d expect to hear for the entire show, Ziggler stands around a lot. Morrison misses a charge in the corner and Dolph hits a reverse powerslam for two. The sleeper doesn’t go on and Morrison starts speeding things up with clotheslines and a leg lariat. That gets two and so does a rollup with tights for Ziggler. Morrison kicks Dolph in the head for two and a half and they trade sleepers.

The fans seem to be more behind Ziggler but it’s New York so that’s not shocking. John hits a spinning DDT for two as Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope, which earns her an ejection. Morrison misses a running knee and they rapidly trade near falls. The Flying Chuck misses for Morrison and it’s a Fameasser…..for two. Wow I thought that was it. The running knee hits Ziggler in the face but Starship Pain hits Ziggler’s knees. Zig Zag retains the title.

Rating: B-. I dug this match a lot, annoying crowd aside. Sometimes there’s nothing better you can do than throw two talented guys out there for ten minutes and let them have fun. Ziggler is more or less in the same spot he’s in a year later which is annoying but it’s the way of life in the WWE. Morrison would be gone in eight days which almost knew was coming.

I’ll throw in one last match from outside of WWE. This is from Pro Wrestling Syndicate on April 5, 2013.

Jushin Thunder Liger vs. John Morrison

Sabu comes out for no apparent reason and does nothing. Morrison grabs an arm to start but gets taken down and put into a modified surfboard. John rolls out and grabs the ankle but Liger rolls away and it’s a standoff. A suplex out of a test of strength gets two for Liger and we hit an abdominal stretch on the mat. John trips him down again as the technical start continues.

Liger wraps up Morrison’s legs in an Indian deathlock, wraps his leg around Morrison’s head and cranks on a chickenwing at the same time. Since Morrison is about to be broken into 19 pieces, he breakdances up off Liger’s stomach (seriously) and puts on a chinlock. Back up and some clotheslines drop Liger, setting up a leg lariat and a standing Shooting Star for two. John goes up but gets shoved to the floor, allowing Liger to hit a running flip dive to take Morrison down again.

Back in and Liger hits a running palm strike in the corner and the Liger Bomb for two. Morrison comes back with a running knee to the face for two but Liger nails him with a belly to back facebuster. The Frog Splash hits knees and Morrison can get a breather. They slug it out until Morrison kicks him in the face for two. Morrison goes up but gets superplexed down for an even closer near fall. Liger loads up a belly to back superplex but gets elbowed to the mat, setting up Starship Pain (with Morrison’s leg hitting Liger’s face) for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not a big fan of the indy style and the dream matches rarely do anything for me either. The problem here was there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting other than they’re both big names. It’s not bad but it’s nothing I’d care to see again. The commentators really hurt this as well by sounding like fanboys trying to sound professional.

Morrison is a guy with unbelievable talent but his backstage issues held him down. By that I mean he has a girlfriend who can’t keep her mouth shut and gets him in trouble a lot of the time. Some of those earlier matches are great though and he could have been WWE Champion if he had more of a character. He’s worth checking out, especially after he brings in the Parkour stuff.

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Smackdown – March 21, 2014: Shield For Good

Smackdown
Date: March 21, 2014
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

HHH is back to being full evil as we only have five shows left before Wrestlemania. Other than that we’re looking at another story building show tonight with Kane talking about replacing Shield, the battle royal needing more names and Bray Wyatt being creepy and getting in Cena’s head. Speaking of Cena, he’s facing Luke Harper tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s a fourway tag team match tonight for a shot at the Usos, presumably at Wrestlemania.

Here’s Kane to open things up. He introduces us to a video from the end of Raw with HHH ending the YES Movement. Back live and Kane says the blame is on all of the fans who cheer for Bryan and convince him that he’s bigger than WWE and the Authority. Everyone learned a lesson on Monday when they saw that no one is greater than the Authority.

What people need to understand is that some people are just better than others. HHH is better than Daniel Bryan and the Authority is better than all of you. Kane is shouting this at the fans but calms down and pulls a letter out of his pocket. It’s from HHH who has asked Kane to read it to us. The letter is delayed by a YOU SOLD OUT chant before Kane reads the standard corporate apology as the fans boo it out of the building.

Fandango vs. Fernando

Yes, one of the Matadores is getting a singles match. This is joined in progress after a break with Fandango chopping the masked man down. We hit the chinlock on Fernando but he avoids a middle rope knee drop. A standing hurricanrana and a springboard back elbow gets two on Fandango but a Summer distraction lets Fandango get in a cheap shot. Torito freaks out because Summer is in a red dress and the chase is on, allowing Fernando roll up the dancer for the pin at 2:35.

Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler

Sandow jumps him to start and drives in knees to the chest. A Russian legsweep and knee drop have Ziggler in even more trouble as the announcers talk about the battle royal. Ziggler escapes a backdrop and shakes his h\ips a bit before dropkicking Damien outside. Dolph gets back on the top but Damien kicks him down, sending Ziggler’s head onto the steps with a sick thud. That made me cringe.

Back in and Damien hammers away at the head while screaming at Ziggler to stay down. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Sandow drops some more knees. Dolph is sent outside and into the barricade to give Damien a two count. Back to the chinlock for a bit but Dolph fights up with his jumping DDT. Ziggler hammers away in the corner and gets two off a neckbreaker. Sandow gets in a few right hands but Ziggler comes back with the Fameasser for the pin at 5:53.

Rating: D+. Not bad here and the fans were into Ziggler but it wasn’t the best match in the world. It’s nice to see Sandow not losing in a minute or so and it’s good to see Ziggler get some momentum heading into the battle royal. It’s also a good change of pace to see someone with with something other than their trademark finisher.

The Wyatts appear on screen and Luke says he is John’s reaper tonight. Bray pops up and says John being afraid of Bray makes sense. Wyatt was born of the world’s hatred and feeds on hate. The buzzards are circling overhead and Bray is Cena’s torment waiting down below. Cena’s fear is Bray’s power and the power is his control. Run.

Slam City preview.

Shield vs. Real Americans vs. 3MB vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

One fall to a finish and it’s Ambrose/Rollins and McIntyre/Mahal here. The announcers talk about everyone being a heel here as Ambrose works on Axel to start. An elbow drop gets two but it’s off to Mahal who has about the same success as Axel. Rollins comes in to work on Jinder’s arm but Ryback tags Mahal and runs Seth over. Rollins knees his way out of a vertical suplex and Shield clotheslines Ryback outside. Axel is sent out as well and Shield hits stereo suicide dives as we take a break.

Back with 3MB double teaming Ambrose to give Mahal a two count. During the break, Cesaro swung Ambrose into the barricade in a painful looking crash. Ryback comes back in to stay on Dean with a splash getting two. The Meat Hook drops Ambrose but Swagger tags Ryback to get a quick two. The Vader Bomb into the double stomp from Cesaro gets two and Cesaro locks a chinlock on Dean.

Ambrose fights up and hits a clothesline on Cesaro followed by a DDT on Swagger. Rollins and Mahal come in off double tags and Seth cleans house. A Blockbuster drops Mahal and Seth follows up with a flip dive to take out Ryback. Heath Slater breaks up the Black Out but gets speared by Reigns. The Black Out connects on Mahal but McIntyre makes the save at the last second. Everything breaks down and Kane runs in for the no contest at 8:17 shown of 11:47.

Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible but I was hoping for an actual #1 contender instead of what looks like a multi team match at Wrestlemania. Shield worked well as faces here though and there’s potential there if they keep on this path. It’s a good enough match but dropping 3 MB would have helped here.

Reigns and Kane fight up the ramp until the New Age Outlaws show up to help Kane. Ryback, Axel and the Real Americans lay out Rollins and Ambrose as Reigns is triple teamed. Kane chokeslams the other members of Shield as well as the beatdown goes on for awhile. It looks like Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws at Wrestlemania which doesn’t do much for me. I can’t buy the Outlaws as a real threat to Shield no matter how they spin it.

Time for MizTV with the focus on the battle royal. Miz officially throws his name in the hat and guarantees victory. The guest tonight is Big Show who Miz describes as the odds on favorite. Big Show talks about the comparisons to Andre the Giant over his career and says winning the battle royal will cement his legacy. Miz brings up Big Show’s nine losses at Wrestlemania so Big Show threatens to pop Miz’s head open.

Perhaps out of fear, Miz brings out some of the other entrants in the battle royal, including Titus O’Neil, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, Big E. Langston (Miz throws in the Langston), Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Goldust and Sheamus. The Irishman thinks we should have a battle royal of our own right now. Miz thinks everyone should get Big Show but they fight each other instead with Miz bailing to the floor.

Sheamus and Big Show throw out everyone on their own in about a minute and a half until they’re the only ones left. They fight for a bit until Big Show blocks a Brogue Kick and puts him on the apron. Miz comes back in as Show dumps Sheamus. A chokeslam gets rid of Miz and Big Show stands tall. This wasn’t a match but it did its job well.

Big E. vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Big E. takes him into the corner and hammers away but gets spun around in the corner, setting up the double stomp to the chest. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Big E. fights up. He charges into a pair of boots in the corner and gets two off a Backstabber. Del Rio avoids a charge to send Big E.’s shoulder into the post and the low superkick gets the pin at 2:48. What is it with Del Rio beating Big E. so easily when they fight?

Santino is upset that he and Emma have been having issues trying to go on a date. He complains to the makeup lady and talks about how much he cares for Emma as she’s behind him. Emma surprises him and they bump heads as Santino falls out of a chair.

Mr. T. Hall of Fame video.

Summer Rae/Natalya vs. Bella Twins

AJ is on commentary and seems to be ok with Tamina now. Nikki takes over on Natalya to start but Summer tags herself in. Summer sends her to the apron as AJ talks about how the match is a trainwreck. Brie comes in as the heels get in an argument, setting up the Bella Buster to Summer for the pin at 2:20. Nothing here at all.

We go back to Main Event for the Undertaker’s response to Paul Heyman. Undertaker choked Heyman down and told Heyman that he’ll slay the Beast in New Orleans. Lesnar and Undertaker will both be on Raw.

Video on the Streak.

Kane thanks those that helped him take out Shield. Ryback and Axel are granted a Tag Team Title match but Zeb wants to know what they’re getting. The Real Americans are granted a shot as well (no date was given for either shot), leaving only 3MB. Kane puts them in the battle royal. The Band leaves and the Outlaws come in. Kane is pleased with both of them and that’s about it.

Lane/Rusev do their thing.

Daniel Bryan’s shoulder is damaged and needs rest but he’s not missing any live events and will be on Raw.

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

Before the match we get the Eminem music video on Cena vs. Wyatt from Raw. Harper drives Cena into the corner to start but John comes out with right hands. Harper avoids a charge in the corner though and gets two off a neckbreaker. The LET’S GO CENA chants dominate their counterparts as Luke puts on a chinlock. Back up and Cena counters the shoulders with an atomic drop followed by a big boot for two. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle connect as Rowan is at ringside.

Harper escapes the AA and kicks Cena’s head off for two. John slaps on the STF but Luke bites his way out of it. Harper’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana but Luke one ups him with a running hurricanrana of his own. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Cena but a third big boot is countered into the AA for the pin at 5:29.

Rating: C. This was fine and Harper got to show off like Rowan did in his match against Cena. Having Harper and Rowan around is a built in perk for Bray as it allows his feuds to continue without having Bray get in the ring. The match was about what you would expect with Harper continuing to look good on his own.

Cena bails as the other Wyatts hit the ring.

Overall Rating: C. Tonight was giving focus to the Shield vs. Kane feud and the battle royal plus a few other things on the side. It’s always nice to see the lesser matches get some build, though I continue to wonder how good a big battle royal can possibly be. I hope Big Show is a red herring as he may make sense but he’s not the most interesting winner in the world.

Results

Fernando b. Fandango – Rollup

Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Fameasser

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Shield vs. 3MB vs. Real Americans went to a no contest

Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. – Superkick

Bella Twins b. Summer Rae/Natalya – Bella Buster to Summer

John Cena b. Luke Harper – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Checked Out Christmas Bounty

Miz’s movie in case you forgot.
It’s not terrible but I’m probably going to forget I watched it in about 3 days. Miz is the co-star of the movie and is about what you would expect. It’s not like That’s What I Am where they hyped up Orton and he literally wasn’t on screen for five minutes.

The movie is supposed to be a comedy but it’s more of an action movie than funny. The story is an ex-bounty hunter is coming back to New Jersey because the one bounty she ever let get away is back in town. She hooks up with her old team, including ex-boyfriend Miz. She doesn’t want her fiance to know she used to be a bounty hunter and spends half the movie hiding it. The fact that it’s set at Christmas means nothing to the plot at all and this could have been set at any time of the year with no effect on the story.

It’s better than some WWE movies but there’s a reason this is a straight to DVD movie that aired once on cable. The action sequences aren’t bad and the lead girl is good looking.  Miz isn’t bad in it all things considered and he looks fine beating up goons.  It ran an hour and 45 minutes with commercials so it’s not even that long. The movie isn’t terrible by any means but it’s nothing that is going to blow you away or be something you’ll want to watch multiple times.   If you like Miz and not serious action movies you might like this but definitely don’t buy the DVD if you’re just curious.  Rent it or see if it’s ever on TV again at best.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2006: Who Booked This Nonsense?

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After last year’s solid edition, the main event this year is Booker T vs. Batista. Think about that match for a minute and it just sounds like something that’s going to be dull. This is also a Last Chance match, meaning that if Batista doesn’t win the title here, he gets NO MORE CHANCES at Booker. If that’s not a sign as to what’s coming, you’re beyond my help. The other match that people remember here is Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler. Mikey is Mike Mondo in ROH at the moment.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Simmons beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s off to Flair and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow for the immediate elimination of Nicky, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.

We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. I’ve heard of worse reasons for a title match. There was some nonsense about Eddie’s estate that I don’t remember going anywhere. That would be one of those worse reasons.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the face. JBL: “You don’t know what she shaves Chavo.” Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan Drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the Swan Dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the Swan Dive miss, sending his head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the Frog Splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.

Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the Swan Dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.

Watch the Extreme Elimination Chamber at December to Dismember! NEXT SUNDAY!!!

Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending. I miss Mickie with those skirts that keep flying up. Lita slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. I can’t at all complain about the upskirt shots of Mickie though. Off to a sleeper by Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes.

Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two (and a GREAT crotch shot of Mickie). Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for getting great views of Mickie and Lita’s rocking cleavage. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with a box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.

Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s panties so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s vibrator. Dang she’s bored in the locker room. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for I think 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.

Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is IC Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. I believe Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox has some chick named Kelly Kelly with him and at the moment, she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.

HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it, Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here. Off to Jeff who works on the arm of Nitro. Apparently these two have been feuding a bit too lately.

Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.

Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and you can feel the internet’s orgasm coming (pun intended). Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.

Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.

Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.

Rating: C-. This was entertaining but when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud, this is kind of a questionable ending. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Taker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Taker has had in years. It’s a first blood tonight because Kennedy busted Taker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Taker’s magic powers.

Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP comes up and notices the vasoline on Kennedy’s forehead. Apparently these two are friends.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

I keep typing Anderson instead of Kennedy. Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but as soon as they get back in Taker punches him down. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announce table with Taker in total control. We head to the crowd and Taker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Taker into the steps.

Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Taker so far. We head back in and Taker busts out a freaking superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but don’t you need to go for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it’s the best I can come up with. Kennedy hits Taker low but Taker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.

A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Taker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Taker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.

Taker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone, but it winds up hitting Taker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Taker is such a legend at this point.

Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Taker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former world champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former world champion he had beaten.

Kennedy beats up Taker post match but Taker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Taker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Buy Piper’s DVD! No really, that one is worth checking out. Stay FAR away from his book though. It’s HORRIBLE.

Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

Let’s see. It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team. Who do you think the fans are going to be cheering for? Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga is still undefeated and a monster. Naturally Cena is booed out of the building. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena knocking Umaga to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.

We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irish dude for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.

While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. Oh joy indeed. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with that club that I can’t spell so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in there.

To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.

A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Horny again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.

Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.

JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Big Dave’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he thinks is still his.

Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Booker is defending in case you’re really stupid. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via countout, so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.

After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before slingshotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer. Why has no one made that a finisher since Goldberg? It’s a good power move but no one uses it really. That’s very odd.

A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title? Right? A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.

Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. Yep that’s really how this ends. Not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.

Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the world title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.

Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.

This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: October 31, 2011 – Monday Night Raw: The Greatest Raw Of All Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

 

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Former World Champion Returns At HIAC

One of two technically.Kane came out to save Miz from a beatdown and Rey Mysterio is doing Spanish commentary.  Good start to the show so far, other than Cole saying Kane debuted at Hell in a Cell.  Not quite Mikey.