It’s the end of the year and I’m really not looking forward to this.I’ve made no secret out of the fact that I think this show looks weak.  I thought it might be fun to compare last year’s card to this year’s.

IC Title: last year we had Ziggler vs. Swagger vs. Kofi in a three way ladder match which was rather entertaining and had a creative ending.  This year, it’s Cody defending against an announcer in a non-ladder match.  Advantage: 2010.

US Title: last year it was defended in a dark match.  This year it should be Ryder finally getting the title he’s chased for four months.  Advantage: 2011.

Divas: last year it was a tag team tables match, this year they’re not on the card.  Advantage: push.  Seriously, the Divas not being on the card is a GOOD thing in 2011.

Featured ladder match: last year it was Sheamus vs. Morrison in what I thought was the best match of the night.  This year it’s HHH vs. Nash in a match that SUCKED in 2003 and now it’s 8 years later.  Advantage: you do the math.

Featured tables match: last year it was Miz vs. Orton for the title.  This year it’s Orton vs. Barrett in a pretty well built grudge match.  Advantage: 2011.  That match last year sucked.

TLC Match: last year it was a fatal fourway with Kane defending against Edge, Del Rio and Mysterio in what I thoguht was a good match.  This year it’s a triple threat with practically no heat.  Advantage: 2010.

Featured chairs match: last year it was Cena vs. Barrett and a definitive ending to the Cena vs. Nexus feud.  This year it’s Show vs. Henry for the Smackdown Title.  Advantage: 2010, but not in a total runaway as Show vs. Henry has been a decent feud.

John Cena: last year, in the main event.  This year, not on the card.  Game, set and match – 2010.

I just don’t care about this show.  It hasn’t been built up that well at all and I’m not sure what the main event actually is.  You would assume the TLC match due to it being the namesake, but that wasn’t the case last year.  I REALLY don’t want HHH vs. Nash going on last due to black hole levels of suck.  The Raw Title could go last but I’m not interested in that match at all.  Show vs. Henry just isn’t a PPV ending match.  In short, there isn’t a big time match this year and that’s really hurting the show.

As for predictions, I’ll take Punk, Henry, HHH (but I have a hunch on Nash), Cody and Ryder.

Your thoughts/predictions?

Criteria here: I’m not including Divas matches, most of the Knockout matches, anything that’s really short (under 3 minutes or so) or whatever Sting and Jeff Hardy did at Victory Road.I’m going to go with Cena vs. Miz in the main event of Wrestlemania.  Not only was the match itself boring, but the ending was atrocious.  I said this in my review and in the Live Discussion of the show: They booked a Dusty Finish in the main event of Wrestlemania.  That isn’t acceptable to me.  This is Wrestlemania, not any other show of the year.  I hold it to a higher standard than a double countout and Rock suddenly having the power to make matches throughout the night.  This didn’t work for me at all and I remember thinking to myself “that’s how they ended it?” after the match and show ended.

Your picks?

Tribute to the Troops 2011
Date: December 13, 2011
Location: Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the show that is now a tradition and is still pretty awesome. We’re still stateside for this and it’s probably a lot easier that way. The matches here don’t mean anything and that’s fine. This is about the people in the audience and that’s fine. This was taped Sunday night so don’t expect any references to last night. Let’s get to it.

We’re in an arena this year.

The President gives his usual message about this show.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Pretty big match to start things off with. Orton takes over to start and we get a Slammys reference. Maybe the commentary was recorded later? Barrett pounds him down to take over and a big boot puts Randy on the apron and gets two back in the ring. Pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett goes up and Orton gets in a set of punches and a superplex for two. Here’s the comeback and it starts with the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered and they go to the outside. The DDT on the floor is countered and they brawl to a double countout at 5:57.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be a lot lighter on the ratings tonight because the winning and losing isn’t the point. This is about the fans having a good time and they couldn’t have one guy go over cleanly here. They didn’t have a lot of options so there’s nothing wrong with what they did here. Decent match too.

Barrett beats Orton up post match and loads up a table. Orton gets in a dropkick and sets up the table. Otunga of all people runs out for the save and he beats on Randy for a bit. There’s an RKO for him and he goes through the table via a big powerbomb.

Nicole Kidman loves the troops. My goodness she’s beautiful.

Jake Gyllenhall loves the troops.

Barrett says he has the psychological advantage over Orton. The only voice Orton will hear is a table breaking in half.

Nickelback performs Burn it the the Ground. Awesome song live.

A group of superstars jump out of a plane, which is what the specialty unit at Fort Bragg does.

Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder brings out Sgt. Slaughter to counteract Ziggler. Ryder hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Swagger comes back with a powerslam for two but Zack pops off some punches. This isn’t going to last long. There’s the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. Ryder is sent to the floor and Ziggler gets in a shot. Slaughter hits the Slaughter Cannon to put him over the announce table. Swagger beats down Sarge and steals the Ryder headband he was wearing. Back inside the Vader Bomb misses and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:45.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Slaughter being brought in was the right idea. He’s a character that it’s impossible to not like a little bit and for a patriotic show, you really can’t go wrong with him. This was short and there’s not much wrong with that. Although I’d question an AMERICAN character being a heel here.

Slaughter puts on the Cobra Clutch post match.

Hugh Jackman loves the troops.

The Bellas visit West Point.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos

Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it’s off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.

The Muppets love the troops and show more personality than other celebrities combined.

Celine Dion loves the troops.

George Wallace, a comedian, does a brief routine.

Video on Nash vs. HHH.

Booker joins in on commentary.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Bryan’s ribs are still taped. Rhodes goes straight for them, dropping the ribs onto the corner and taking over quickly. Off to a surfboard and Rhodes stomps him down in the corner. The commentary is all about Booker and Cole, which is a bit more understandable due to Booker facing Rhodes on Sunday. A clothesline puts Cody on the floor but Bryan jumps into a kick to the ribs. Booker checks on Bryan and pops Cody in the jaw, allowing Bryan to get a rollup in the ring for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Intense match while it lasted and it sets up Booker vs. Cody even better for Sunday. I’m actually looking forward to that match which really surprises me. I don’t think Booker will win the title but it should be an entertaining match at least as Booker is almost always watchable. This was just for the ending and that’s fine.

Booker beats on Cody a bit post match and there’s a Spinarooni

Carson Daly loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs.

Air Boom runs into Miss USA and does the Boom Boom Boom.

Robin Williams loves the troops.

The Dancing with the Stars winner, a veteran, says the troops are cool. He judges some of the wrestlers dancing. They’re videos of guys in the past and Eve gets the high score despite having nothing on Layla. Granted she didn’t have a video in this.

Hornswoggle does the announcing for this.

Air Boom vs. Primo/Epico

Rosa is with the non-champions and she’s still gorgeous. Kofi vs. Epico to get us started. Epico and Primo are real life cousins. Off to Bourne very quickly and he does his usual high flying stuff to fire the crowd up. Epico takes over and works on the back of Kofi but there’s a tag to Bourne who comes in with a rana. Everything breaks down and a Backstabber by Epico ends Bourne at 2:59. I guess there are your next champions.

Matthew McConaughey loves the troops.

Nickelback performs again. This time it’s a new song called When We Stand Together.

Christina Aguliera loves the troops.

Here’s Christian looking like he fell out of a building. He’s in agony but is here to celebrate the Canadian Army. Cue Sheamus to glare at him.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew actually comes out second and gets a full entrance. Sheamus beats him up but can’t get the Celtic Cross. Drew gets in a few shots but Sheamus remembers he’s Sheamus and he’s fighting Drew McIntyre so he takes Drew down and a Brogue Kick ends this at 2:15.

Jimmy Fallon loves the troops.

Regis Philbin loves the troops.

Mary J. Blige performs again.

Bradley Cooper loves the troops.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry vs. John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show

Punk vs. Miz to start us off. Off to Cena who gets a bit reaction. He and Punk do some nice double team stuff and Punk messes up a bit and covers Miz at the same time Cena does. I think he legit forgot he wasn’t legal. Not a big deal but kind of funny. Off to Show who hits one of the hardest sounding chops I’ve ever heard. Del Rio comes in very slowly. Henry comes in about four seconds later and here’s the big showdown.

Henry gets the better of it and slams Show for two. The heels take turns beating on Show and Henry comes back in for a bearhug. Show fights out of it and hits a superkick. Double clothesline and both guys are down. Off to Miz vs. Punk with the champion taking over. Punk and Show do the Snuka/Andre move for the elbow to set up the Anaconda Vice but Del Rio comes in for the save.

Punk fights off Henry and here’s your real hot tag to Cena. He hits the suplex on Henry and I guess it must be the camo that makes no one able to see him. Everything breaks down and we get the usual ending to this show where all of the faces hit their finishers for the pin, with Cena hitting the AA on Henry to officially end it at 9:20.

Rating: C. This is the standard finish for this show and that’s just fine. This is about giving the troops something cool to end things and they did that just fine. Cena, the military themed guy, ending things with a huge power move is perfectly acceptable. This was about exactly what you would have expected and that’s all it needed to be. Fine ending.

Cena thanks the roster (which is all on the stage) and all of the troops for what they do. Nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: C+. I didn’t get into this one as much as I have in previous years. It just didn’t feel the same as it does when it’s outdoors. This felt more like a big commercial for TLC, which is understandable, but it didn’t quite click like most of the shows usually do. Still though, it’s fine for what it was and it’s not supposed to be anything serious. Not bad, but they’ve done it better.

Results
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix – Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom – Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre – Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry – AA to Henry

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two shows left before TLC and one of them is the Slammies so this is going to be a normal show by comparison. Last week’s show rocked so let’s hope this one can do the same. For some reason they’re trying to push the idea that all of a sudden Cena is having so many issues with the fans after saying for years that its their right. As usual, WWE doesn’t get that some people have no idea what they’re talking about. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to kick things off. He talks about last week with Piper and how the fans have a mixed reaction to him. He says that he knows the fans aren’t all in love with him, but without them, there’s no show. Without the fans, there’s no work. Therefore, every fan has earned the right to think whatever they want about him.

However, the thing that mattered last week was the slap to the face of Cena. He kind of drops that though and starts talking about CM Punk. He says that the only thing bigger than Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania is Rock vs. Cena for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. That brings out Del Rio. Oh geez not a #1 contender match between these two. Del Rio brings up the “If Punk gets disqualified he loses the title” thing from last week and shows the clip of the GTS to the exposed buckle last week.

That brings out Vickie with Ziggler. She says it should be Dolph that should get the title shot. I can’t really argue with that one. Dolph says he’ll be a dual champion and blah blah blah. Cena says Dolph is the Show Off now (because he heard Cole say it 25 times last week) but it should be Jerk Off. Ziggler says if the two of you want to have a #1 contender match for the US Title, go ahead. Cena says that the US Title shot belongs to Zack Ryder.

After Ziggler talks about how that’s a dead horse, here’s Miz because we don’t have enough people out there yet. We get some clips of Miz beating up Morrison and Truth, along with an announcement that Morrison has been released. Miz says that the Slammies are next week and he’ll be superstar of the year.

As he’s talking, here’s Johnny Ace who says he’s not boring. I had to rewind things because I dozed off there. Tonight there are going to be four matches, each pitting one of these guys against a Smackdown guy. The winners will ALL go to the WWE Title match at TLC. Oh wait not Cena because he’s in a special match called a “social experiment” which Ace will tell him about later. Miz’s match is right now against this man.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Basic start with neither guy really being able to take over. Orton tries to speed things up but Miz takes over with a Garvin Stomp and a running shot for two. Time for the chinlock and now we’re off to Twitterville. Orton makes his comeback and hits the powerslam. They head to the floor and Orton slams him again. Cue Barrett for the distraction at a count of eight and Orton goes after him. Miz wins via countout at 4:32.

Rating: D. Nothing match here which was only around to get Miz into the title match and have more development with Barrett vs. Orton. Once that match finally happens they have to have Barrett win to keep up his momentum. The match SUCKED though and was painfully boring overall. Nothing to see here.

Video on WWE Network. It’s coming in 2012.

Ryder wants to talk to Ryder about the petition and says it doesn’t matter. Cue Cena in Ryder gear who goes on a rant about the match that Ace has planned for him. He even makes a Back to the Future reference for some reason. The Social Experiment is a match with Ryder. Uh….ok? If Ryder wins, he gets a US Title match. If Cena wins, he’s in the title match at TLC.

Otunga says that it’s Nash vs. HHH in a ladder match. Why? Apparently there’s going to be a sledgehammer above the ring and whoever gets it first gets to use it. Nash is cool with that. Nash starts to leave and Otunga says Nash has a match. He doesn’t care who it is.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is all taped up from the cage match on Tuesday. Del Rio works over the ribs to start (psychology as always), even draping him over the top rope. And then the cross armbreaker ends this at 1:48. That’s pretty much a squash, but at least Bryan was injured coming in.

Tribute to the Troops is next week.

Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix

If I didn’t write reviews for these shows, I’d be off to find a hot pretzel. We get a message from the heels but we get interrupted by a second coming video. He arrives on January 2, 2012. Ok then. And then announcers ignore it. Beth starts with Kelly and Kelly gets beaten down….and then Kelly hooks a small package for the pin at 1:10.

John Cena vs. Zack Ryder

This feels like a big match. Think about that for a second. Both guys are tentative to start. They fight over a long headlock and the fans are split as usual. Hip toss gets two for Cena. Notice something here: Cena is respecting Ryder and that’s the biggest rub Ryder can get. Ryder grabs a spinning neckbreaker for two. This is very slow.

A tornado DDT gets two for Ryder and he loads up the Rough Ryder. Cena ducks and initiates his finishing sequence. The AA is countered and Ryder puts him in the corner. Broski Boot looks to set up another Rough Ryder but Cena catches him in mid air and the AA is enough for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C. The match was boring, but the important part is that they made Ryder look solid here. They needed to make sure that he saved face here and that’s what they did. Cena had to win here because Ryder would have been way over his head. Still though, dull match and i’m not sure why they did it.

Ryder is mad post match and Cena says hang on a second before running to the back.

Cena comes up to Ace and Otunag in the back. He shouts Otunga out and tells Ace to listen to the people and make Ryder #1 contender to Ziggler. Ace says no because Ryder blew it. Cena gets in his face and says be creative. Ace says Cena has to give up his title match at TLC. Cena isn’t sure of course but says he’s a ten time champion because he got opportunities along the way. Cena drops out and Ryder has to face….someone still. Ok then.

Kane is still coming again. That’s different than the Jan 2 thing. This video shows pictures of big named stars and Kane punching through a piece of glass. He puts the mask back on and opens his eye…then drops the mask which is on fire. It says his name this time. No date is given.

Otunga tells Robers to make this in essence a street fight.

Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry

I think I smell interference. Henry has a bad ankle/leg here. Ryder gets beaten down like a chump to start which to be fair, he’s in over his head. Ryder gets him down for a second and rams the leg into the post. Cue Cena who hits the AA on Henry and throws Ryder on top for the pin at 2:20.

Vickie says she can’t get the decision reversed. Oh and Ziggler has to fight Sheamus later.

Kevin Nash vs. Santino Marella

Nash hits a side slam to start. Cole: “One, two, kick out by Santino…for some reason.” Powerbomb ends this at 1:03.

Post match Nash picks up the hammer but doesn’t hit Marella with it.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Feeling out process to start until Ziggler hits a GREAT dropkick for two. Sheamus is like “Irish story!” and hammers away with the forearms to the chest. Ziggler hooks a chinlock and a Fameasser gets two. Ziggler chokes again but Sheamus fights back, hitting a forearm in the corner. He loads up the High Cross but Ziggler escapes and Sheamus hits the post. Here’s Ryder for the distraction so that the Brogue Kick can keep Ziggler out of the world title match at 4:32.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was nothing all that great. Still though, they didn’t really have a ton of time to work with out there. Ryder interfering was fine because it gives Ziggler a reason to want to beat him up at the PPV. This was more about a storyline than a match and that’s fine.

Rough Ryder to Ziggler post match.

Del Rio and Miz are in the ring and here’s Ace as well. He mentions Clay debuting but it hasn’t happened yet. Henry vs. Cena next week. Here’s Punk for the contract signing. Punk pulls the table back to him and says this is the biggest WWE staple cliché there is. They always end in a brawl (which he’d love to have trending on Twitter) and since there’s no such thing as creativity by Ace, he figured we’d have the first peaceful one of these since Mania III.

Punk tells Ace to play Jack Tunney so we can sign this and get to brawling. Ace makes it a TLC match at the PPV and Punk is cool with that. Punk runs both guys down and Miz says that he took Truth and Morrison out. Punk: “Like on a date? I bet it was to that new Twilight movie. NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!” Funnier in delivery. Ace looks right at the camera and wishes Morrison the best in his future endeavors.

Miz says he’s a must see start, Punk says he doesn’t care. He’s not about TMZ but about being the best wrestler in the world. Alberto jumps in and says they’re crying too much. He says his usual stuff and Punk cuts him off, saying if Del Rio talks about destiny again then he’ll start drinking. Del Rio says just sign it and Punk wants to know if they can fight after that. Punk signs and I must have missed the heels signing.

Ace wishes them all luck and asks a WWE.com photographer in for a photo op. Punk: “EVEN YOUR CONTRACT SIGNINGS ARE BORING!” With that he blasts Miz and the brawl finally gets going. Ricardo is loaded into the GTS so Del Rio hits Punk low. Del Rio stops to move furniture around but Miz runs in and tries the Finale on Del Rio. Punk breaks that up and hits the bulldog out of the corner to Del Rio through the table. A GTS to Miz and Punk stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked the show tonight as it advanced the two title matches for the PPV. That really needed to happen and they got it done which is really all you can ask for from a show. The wrestling was kind of weak but they certainly pushed stuff tonight and the storylines are a bit more interesting now. Good stuff for the second week in a row from Raw. When’s the last time you heard that?

Results
The Miz b. Randy Orton via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix
John Cena b. Zack Ryder – AA
Zack Ryder b. Mark Henry – Pin after an AA from John Cena
Kevin Nash b. Santino Marella – Jackknife Powerbomb
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

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The Bash 2009
Date: June 28, 2009
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot to say on this one. The main event is HHH vs. Randy Orton in a 3 Stages of Hell match for the title. This got a lot of ranting because it was more of the same two guys for like the 5th PPV in a row. We also have Punk vs. Hardy for the title and something I’m most interested in as Cena fights Miz. Miz had come to Raw in the draft and started imitating Cena in some hilarious stuff. Cena ignored him but is finally accepting the challenge here tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the main matches including Jericho vs. Mysterio in a mask vs. title match which I forgot to mention. Of course the most is about HHH vs. Orton but that’s expected I guess.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a freaking suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

Cena/Vince razor commercial. Be careful: cutting hair off your face could be un-PG.

Edge comes to see Teddy Long and complains about not being on the card. Somehow this takes like two minutes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

And if Rey loses he has to unmask forever….again. Does anyone else think some of Rey’s masks look like Klansmen hoods? This feud more or less brought the title back to life as it was the wrestler’s title again instead of just a stupid prop for guys like Santino. We’re told Rey has never wrestled a match without his mask and then are told he had to earn it after he started wrestling. I love continuity issues in WWE.

Jericho goes straight for the mask which is a very nice touch as instead of just trying to beat him he’s being pure evil and trying to humiliate and end Rey. I love that. Jericho does that slingshot into the bottom rope which is a nice move. All Jericho so far. He hooks a crossface chickenwing of all things which is a nice throwback.

You can tell these two have a lot of chemistry as they’re flowing very well. It’s odd hearing Ross clearly getting ticked off so easily as it’s clear he’s not liking having to more or less mentor Grisham when he thinks he should be the top guy. Jericho shouts at the referee to ASK HIM. Nicely done. Aww that’s so cute: they still think Rey won the Rumble and the world title. It never ceases to amaze me how they can’t tell him apart from Eddie. They look nothing alike.

Rey hits a seated senton to the floor but might have hurt his knee. He’s finally on offense though as he’d been dominated for about 6 minutes or so. Jericho catches a springboard into a powerslam. It’s always cool when wrestlers use something different than their usual stuff. You’re allowed to mix it up at times and it makes things better when you do so. Allegedly Rey has always been the smaller guy in every match he’s ever had. That’s not surprisingly actually.

Jericho gets the Walls, more or less guaranteeing a lack of a submission. When’s the last time he won a match with that? And shockingly enough Rey gets to the ropes. That move has less heat than Vickie’s vagina. 619 misses and Jericho takes his head off with a clothesline. He then blocks a rana into a powerbomb.

Rey has gotten blocked every single time here and it’s been great. Lionsault misses and I mean actually misses instead of him landing on his feet. Codebreaker gets two as the crowd is WAY into this and for good reason. Jericho and Rey go up top and Jericho just kind of falls backwards. Uh, ok? 619 hits but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Walls again. And of course they don’t work as we get a pinfall reversal sequence.

In a GREAT ending that throws back to the Extreme Rules match, Jericho rips the mask off again but Rey has ANOTHER mask on underneath so while Jericho is expecting him to stop dead he keeps going to hit the 619 and springboard splash for the IC Title. THAT is what I mean when I say great storytelling and psychology.

Rating: A+. This was a VERY well booked match that I’d bet a large sum of money on Jericho and Rey planning the majority of. The ending there was downright inspired and showed Rey outsmarting Jericho and capitalizing on it. The match being awesome helped a lot too as these two just can go out there and nail it every time with this being no exception. Screw it this is an A+.

We recap Trump buying Raw and having the commercial free Raw and tricking Vince into paying into giving him back his original money back doubled. That’s a great deal. This also started the guest host concept.

HHH is getting ready.

Jericho wants his rematch RIGHT NOW. Long says in a month it’ll be five years as GM. That’s insane when you think about how many GMs Raw has had and how Bischoff is the longest reigning one.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Great Khali, which more or less is Ziggler trying to get noticed and continuously hurting Khali with a chair or winning by countout or something like that.

Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a street fight for all intents and purposes. I love Runjin Singh. His sideburns have powers I think. Ziggler’s music is perfect. Actually make that perfection. Also he’s apparently moved from Hollywood, Florida to Hollywood, California. His look is great until his hair gets all puffy and then he looks like Curt Hennig which is a compliment.

Of course Ziggler gets beaten down early, including taking the chop that pinned Cena back in 07 or so but since Khali is a jobber to the stars now it’s just a regular move. Khali is just scary huge. I’ve seen him live and he’s absolutely massive. And then he chops the post to get himself in trouble. Dolph grabs a chair which is fine here and he wisely goes for the knee. At least he’s thinking.

We get the bowling shoe analogy about Khali and I roll my eyes. He’s 7’4 and 450lbs. What the heck are you expecting him to do? And here comes Kane for no adequately explained reason. Ziggler beats the heck out of Khali’s knee as Kane is coming and then Kane goes semi-Austin at Mania 17 on Khali. And then Ziggler gets the pin. This went nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s your standard David vs. Goliath here and that’s all it was supposed to be. The key thing here is that Ziggler has a huge win by pinfall that in this match is perfectly legal. He’s never really gotten a big push, but he started feuding with Rey just after this so that’s something I guess.

Vince comes in to talk to Teddy and says he’s done nothing as GM. Apparently even Adamle was a better GM. The thing about Long is that he’s the only GM other than maybe Bischoff that seems like an actual bureaucrat which is what a GM is supposed to be. He’s an authority figure, not a fighter. I like him but that’s just me.

12 Rounds is coming to DVD.

Unified Tag Titles: Colons vs. Legacy

There’s something VERY sexy about the way Lillian says Carlito. The Colons are faces here and we’re on Legacy’s 9th theme song this month I believe, although they would wind up keeping this one permanently I believe. And here’s Teddy Long. He makes it a triple threat match, adding in the new team of Chris Jericho and Edge.

Unified Tag Titles: Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Colons vs. Legacy

The original two teams won’t let Jericho and Edge in to start which is a nice bit of thinking. Carlito and Ted start and Carlito does a gorgeous moonsault off the top. The team that speaks Spanish has the belts here. They’re trying to keep Edge and Jericho out of the ring, I’m assuming betting they’ll win if they get in, which is kind of odd for faces to be all scared like that. I think the fans are chanting for Christian of all people.

This is similar to the Horsemen/Dungeon of Doom match from Bash at the Beach 96 where Benoit and Anderson knew the Giant would destroy them if he came in so they wouldn’t let him in. It made sense and this does as well. Primo gets a nice rollup on Rhodes for two. It’s so strange hearing Orton talked about as being so hated a mere year ago and 9 months before he was the hottest thing in the world. Cody hooks an inverted Gory Special that looks awesome.

The fans love Edge here which is rather odd indeed. Jericho takes Primo out with a Codebreaker and we have Edge vs. fired guy. Carlito misses it though and Rhodes gets a backstabber. A spear gives the Canadians the belts after being in the match all of 20 seconds combined. As I type that, Lawler says it. At least I wasn’t imagining it.

Rating: B. While the wrestling wasn’t anything spectacular, the thought process here was perfect. They planned this one out very well and it made perfect sense which is a great thing in my eyes. They knew they couldn’t stop Edge or Jericho so they kept them out as long as they could. That’s smart booking and it worked just fine.

Ad for Night of Champions, which we’ve already done.

Orton yells at Legacy for losing the title match but says the important thing is keeping the WWE Title. DiBiase gets on Orton for not caring about them.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina was just freaking stunning at this point once she dyed her hair black. Michelle was getting there too and she has Alicia with her here for reasons that I’m sure don’t mean anything. For some reason I like Michelle’s music. Melina comes out hot. And she’s being intense too. Michelle can actually work pretty well.

She hooks a hold where Melina’s foot is touching Melina’s head from behind. DANG that girl is flexible. Ok five minutes have passed but I’m back now. Melina’s knee is hurt of course as it always is. Michelle kicks her head off for two. That sounded very painful indeed. Styles Clash gives Michelle the title.

Rating: C-. It did its job. This was just supposed to be an appetizer to the remainder of the show and that’s what it did. And I think that’s enough padding to say that the girls looked great here and that was the whole point to this.

Do not try this at home. Try it at the Supermarket.

We recap Punk vs. Hardy, which I did like 3 days ago so go find the Extreme Rules review so I don’t have to type it again. Punk used MITB to steal the belt. There you go you freaking SLACKERS. Punk’s reasoning really was great: I did this before and you cheered. Now you boo. I love that.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

Jeff is paintless. Well sweet goodness. Punk starts by doing one of the worst spot calls I’ve ever seen. He has a headlock on and leans over to Hardy’s head and can be heard whispering. Wow. Well at least you couldn’t hear him, unlike at the 99 Rumble where HHH was heard shouting IF I THROW YOU OVER CAN YOU HOLD ON?

Jeff has to start his own chant. That’s rather funny but it dies before I laugh. Oh great: poker analogies. That’s exactly what I want to hear. GTS is reversed as you would expect it to. Punk is dominating here and puts on a figure four headlock. That’s not one you see every day. Or night which is the time most wrestling shows occur. The Whisper in the Wind is freaking pretty. It truly is.

This turns into a striking match which of course Punk dominates but the “Twist of Fate” ends that. Swanton misses though as Punk sits up. Why he doesn’t just lay on him is anyone’s guess. I’ve never liked that hitch in this guy’s count. It’s very annoying. Jeff sets for the Swanton, which is clear because he shouts SWANTON, and it gets the pin. Shame Punk’s foot was under the rope so they have to wave it off.

Punk goes for GTS and Hardy elbows out of it, but Punk takes one in the eye. And the referee checks it, so Punk kicks the referee to get the DQ. Hardy’s look is great as he just looks completely crushed and looks as if he’s thinking are you freaking kidding me? Or maybe he’s wondering where his crack pipe is. It’s hard to tell with him. Post match Hardy yells at Punk that he did it on purpose and here they go again.

Rating: B. Good match here but it was all to set up the angle at the end which began his heel turn which made him into what he is today. This was a good match though as these two had solid chemistry together and they made things work well for the ending. I liked it, but then again I’m a huge Punk fan.

The Colons are ticked at Teddy over the title thing, which of course makes sense. This is pointless.

Orton is on the phone and is trying to get hold of Cody.

We get clips of Rev Theory doing a concert for the fans today. That’s kind of cool.

We recap Miz vs. Cena, which was a great setup for a feud with Miz constantly claiming he was winning matches when Cena didn’t show up to answer his challenges. The key thing here was Miz never once came off as cowardly here. He called out the top dog and never once looked back. That’s all you can ask for and people actually wanted to see this match. I certainly did.

The Miz vs. John Cena

This is Miz’s first major singles feud as he and Morrison had just recently split so he really did start at the top. The fans are rather split here which is a nice sign. Cena is just doing very basic stuff here and it’s working quite well. Cena goes for a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. He snaps up and shakes his head. Sure why not.

Miz works on the neck which is still hurt from Batista apparently. Miz gets some control in actually which is the best thing he can do. And the Cena fights back and the usual stuff ends it. It was short and not terribly painful.

Rating: D. That’s just for the wrestling mind you as it was more or less a Raw match and nothing more. Now when this first happened, I hated it. However since then I’ve cooled down on it a good bit. This wasn’t what I wanted, but it was fine. Remember that this was Miz’s coming out party so he needed to look good. This wasn’t as bad as it came off as back then, but that could be because Miz has done very well since then. Bad match, but Miz came off pretty well as far as credible goes.

We recap HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other and it’s about the McMahons. Yeah that’s all there is to it more or less. It was such a boring feud as no one cared for the most part as they were looking for these epic matches but they never came off as such. That and three Last Man Standing matches are about as much overkill as you could possibly have. Ok we’re at three minutes for this stupid video package now. WE GET IT! We also get Vince announcing the match for the fourth time.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is champion. First fall is regular, second is falls count anywhere, third is a stretcher match which is stupid but whatever. Cole thinks this is more or less a 2/3 falls match. WHAT ANALYSIS! They tried forever to get this feud to work and it just never really worked. They of course start all physical and such because they HATE EACH OTHER. Yeah even I can’t take this match seriously at all.

Stephanie is going to be out of a job soon with how hard the announcers are sucking HHH”s balls. The first fall here really does mean nothing because it’s not going to end the match. That’s the problem with 2/3 falls matches in general: rarely do they not go three falls so you don’t have to pay attention to the opening part. It’s the same thing with an iron man match. And HHH cracks Orton in the head with a chair for the DQ then hammers him with it like Austin on Rock.

Pay no attention to the fact that it’s falls count anywhere and not a street fight so that should be another DQ but the timing doesn’t fit that. Cole is JUST figuring out HHH’s strategy which is about as obvious as birds like to fly. A Pedigree on the floor ties us up as HHH gets praised for brilliance. Dude Scott Steiner did that before. How smart can it be?

So now it’s a stretcher match for the title. Just end it now as you can smell Legacy from here. So since this is about a stretcher we’re fighting in the crowd since it’s barely 10:30 and we’re in the final fall. They break apart the barrier and just keep fighting at ringside. They’ve been doing this for almost 5 minutes now but there’s no drama obviously and no one seems to care.

Hey let’s go in the ring now to kill some more time. They use the steps a lot and nothing of note is happening at all. Why is it not of note? Because they haven’t been trying for the stretcher. They finally do something and of course it doesn’t work. I’m just wanting this to end at this point. Orton does the elevated DDT off the stretcher to the floor. That would look good if I cared about this match. The punt misses and apparently Orton kicked the stretcher.

HHH gets the advantage on top of the stage and has him inches away and here’s Cody. HHH beats him up. Here’s DiBiase who he was mad at earlier, beating HHH up for no apparent reason and throwing away the earlier thing. Shawn is on hiatus here so HHH is all alone. He had a sledgehammer hidden….somewhere on the stage and blasts Legacy with it.

Orton just takes part of the stage and blasts HHH with it for the win. AWFUL main event. Orton poses, HHH hits him with the sledgehammer, guaranteeing us ANOTHER PPV match from these two.

Rating: F+. So the stretcher match part was just them beating each other up for about 15 minutes so that Legacy could run in. Again, these two just cannot have a good match. Period. They simply can’t do it, and yet they kept being shoved down our throats time after time and the people were SICK of it. This was just awful as the stretcher thing was idiotic. This isn’t Memphis. A feud doesn’t need to go on this long.

Overall Rating: C+. That grade took awhile to arrive at. The problem is that the main event and the last nearly 30 minutes just suck the freaking life out of this thing. HHH vs. Orton was one of the worst feuds you could ever imagine as it was just so painfully boring.

The matches weren’t always awful, but they were just not interesting in the slightest. Other than that though, the show is rather good. Rey vs. Jericho is must see and there are other good matches throughout. Check this show out, but don’t watch the main event. It will haunt you.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 28, 2011
Location: Colonial Life Arena, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Things are a little bit different tonight and I’m not sure where they’re going to go tonight. Truth has been wellnessed away for the next month so I’m not sure what Miz is going to do. The main event tonight is Alberto vs. CM II so maybe we’re going to get Miz vs. Punk next? It’ll be nice to get through Del Rio’s title push though as he’s not interesting at all as the champion, given how much they’ve crippled him over the last five months. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

We open things up with Piper’s Pit. He talks about how the fans have made him what he is today with their energy and all that jazz. Piper was never the biggest, the strongest, the best etc, but the fans made him what he was with their energy. Tonight his guest is someone who doesn’t care as much about the fans’ energy: John Cena.

Cena isn’t sure what he means about the fans not mattering to him. The Hot Scot plays a word association game with the fans where he says a legend’s name and the fans cheer for him. Then he says Cena….and the fans cheer for him. Cena says that’s the fans’ choice and that’s fine. Piper keeps trying to force this because Cena has to tell the fans what he thinks of them instead of just taking it because if he doesn’t, he’ll lose at Mania.

Cena says you’re going overboard with this. He talks about all of the big shows and matches he’s been on where he was booed out of the building, like Mania 22 and MITB and the TLC match in Toronto and One Night Stand (no opponent listed) which made MITB look like a bunch of schoolgirls. Cena says MSG was just New Yorkers being New Yorkers. Piper keeps pushing it and Cena points to some kids in the front row in his gear, saying that they’re having the time of their lives. He had three Make-A-Wish meetings today and they’re all here.

He tells Piper to read his shirt (Rise Above Hate) and says that’s why he’s going to be ok at Mania because he’s going to be himself as he’s always been, even with the fans booing. Piper talks about how his generation gave the torch to Cena’s generation and Cena’s generation raised it. However, that isn’t going to be enough because Piper says Cena is going to be in denial and hands him the Hall of Fame ring. Cena says he’s in a good place so Piper slaps him. Cena walks off and is mad. That came off as forced for the most part, because Cena was rational about the whole thing.

John Morrison vs. The Miz

This is falls count anywhere. Miz comes out with a ball bat or a pipe or something and jumps Morrison with it during Morrison’s entrance. He hits Morrison’s leg with it about 15 times and Morrison is down. I guess this is how Morrison leaves us. Morrison is being carried out but says he’s going back. He hobbles to the ring and they ring the bell. Morrison takes him down but Miz gets a shot in to the knee and wraps it around the post. R-Truth will be out a few weeks according to Cole.

Miz pulls out a kendo stick for a shot to the knee but somehow Morrison fires off a clothesline. Morrison picks up the stick and wears Miz out with it as they head to the floor. Miz tries to crawl up the ramp and Morrison uses the cane for a cane. That’s smart. Miz sends him face first into the big WWE logo though and Morrison is down. There’s the Skull Crushing Finale on the stage and the referee calls the match off at 3:24 with Morrison out cold.

Rating: C+. I enjoyed this one as Miz looked like a killer out there. His in ring stuff has always been the weakest part of his game so keeping him like a killer like this on his own is the right thing to do. I liked the match too as the history and emotion in it carried it to a better match than it should have been. Also this is a better and more definitive way to send Morrison off as it lets Miz get a push too. Good stuff.

Morrison goes out on a stretcher as Miz has a mic in the ring. He says this week it was John Morrison, last week it was R-Truth and next week, who knows? He’s the only superstar that can make this kind of impact. His face is completely stoic as he says this. Miz says he can do this because he’s awesome. I’m digging this.

Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly vs. Bella Twins

They do the whole second coming thing on the Twitter graphic here. Beth and Nattie come out to th ringside and job around the ring. Then they leave. Ok then. Everything breaks down and Alicia gets a legdrop on a Bella for the pin at 1:45.

Video on Sheamus being all awesome.

Johnny Ace is on the phone and you guessed it: Brodus debuts NEXT week. Otunga comes in and wants to know why Ace is holding off Brodus’ debut for so long because he’s going to be mad. Ace says it’s to make Brodus mad. Alberto comes in and says he’s ready. Ace is worried about sponsors with Punk as champion. Speaking of the champion, he comes in and calls Ace spineless, Del Rio boring, and Otunga something about Jennifer Hudson. Punk leaves and it’s announced that if Punk gets intentionally disqualified, he loses the title.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Barrett is on commentary. An inset Ziggler interview says he’ll win and show off. These two almost always have good chemistry so the match should be good. Ziggler grabs a quick rollup for two but Randy drills him with a clothesline to send him outside. Orton stomps away and Cole says vintage. He’s a lot less annoying tonight. Ziggler pounds him down and takes over as we head to the floor.

We get our first (I think) Twitter Trending line of the night and King talks about the WWE Social thing. Ziggler goes up but gets caught in a superplex from the top. That gets two and we take a break. Back with Orton hammering away and there’s the elevated DDT. He loads up the RKO so Ziggler RUNS, like an intelligent guy. Barrett gets up on the apron and Orton dropkicks him down, allowing Ziggler to run in with the Zig Zag AND HE GETS THE PIN AT 11:43!!! It’s about time!

Rating: B. Fun match but most important of all: ORTON JOBBED (ALMOST) CLEAN!!! Guys like him and Cena don’t need to win every time and having Orton put over Ziggler is great. It makes Ziggler look legit and it furthers Orton vs. Barrett. Good stuff here as was expected with this match. Ziggler could be HUGE is pushed right.

Ziggler does a handstand post match which is hilarious.

Here’s Daniel Bryan in the ring with Cole. Bryan says he earned the spot in the title match tomorrow while Cole calls Bryan a hypocrite. Bryan calls Cole the worst announcer in WWE. Cole brings up Bryan promising to cash in at Mania and then trying to do it early. We look at the video from Smackdown where Bryan tried to cash in and laughed in Cole’s face about it. Cole says he would have suspended Bryan for conduct unbecoming of a WWE Superstar. Bryan says the case guarantees him nothing so he took the opportunity he had. Tomorrow he has another opportunity in a cage with Henry.

Here’s the champ, limping but off crutches. Henry says he’s injured and isn’t completely ready to compete, which is Teddy Long’s fault. Bryan comes up the ramp with the case and says he can beat him. Bryan kicks him in the leg and says we’ll see tomorrow night. Henry is limping it off.

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

Ryder needs a clean win so that’s fine. Ryder tries to speed things up but walks into a belly to belly for two. Swagger beates him down for awhile but Ryder grabs a neckbreaker for two. Powerbomb is blocked and Ryder goes up. He jumps into a backbreaker and there’s the Vader Bomb but Swagger trips on Ryder’s body. The second attempt hits feet and the Rough Ryder ends this clean at 3:23.

Rating: C. This is the kind of win he needs: he got a clean win over a guy who isn’t going to be hurt by a loss at all. Ryder needs to win the US Title soon though, hopefully at the PPV. Still though, not much of a match, but I can’t complain as it gets the popular guy on TV and gets him a win. What more can you ask for?

Kane is still coming back with the mask.

We go back to earlier in the night and Piper’s Pit.

Here’s Santa Foley to plug Smackdown tomorrow. He gives us a poem and gets a cheap pop.

Punk swears a bit.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Del Rio goes for the arm immediately so Punk fires off a monkey flip. Alberto takes him down again and fish hooks the mouth a bit because he’s that evil. Out to the floor where Punk hits a suicide dive to take over and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the arm again as you would expect him to do. Alberto goes up and hits kind of a shoulder block off the top to the arm for two.

Punk tries a top rope cross body but lands on the arm again. This is a pretty uninteresting match so far. Even Lawler points out how dead the crowd is. Backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he works on the arm again. A top rope double axe gets two. The fans want ice cream because they’re annoying. A big boot puts Punk down but the third attempt at coming off the top fails for Del Rio as he jumps into a kick for two.

The trade strikes and Punk starts his comeback with a neckbreaker for two. Punk sells the arm and hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered into a Codebreaker to the arm for two. The Mexican hits a German to the American for two. GTS is countered into a DDT for two. Del Rio goes for the turnbuckle and the distraction lets Ricardo throw in a chair. Del Rio throws it to him and starts to fall but Punk throws it back first and falls himself. FREAKING BRILLIANT!!! The referee goes to DQ Del Rio but Punk rolls him up for a VERY close two. They actually take the buckle off this time and a GTS onto it ends this at 15:26.

Rating: C+. The match itself was pretty boring, but the ending to it was absolutely brilliant. There was some solid psychology here and everything worked well I think. Also, thank goodness Del Rio loses and we can hopefully move on to something else now instead of his stupid destiny nonsense. Boring match, very hot ending.

Ricardo takes a GTS post match.

Overall Rating: A-. I was DIGGING this show almost all night. Cole toned it way down tonight and it made the show a lot more bearable. They kept things fast paced tonight and instead of focusing on a single story all night, they fired a bunch of stuff at us but most of it was solid stuff. When you have a lot of stuff going on and almost all of it is good, there isn’t much complaining to be found. Great show.

Results
The Miz b. John Morrison via referee stoppage
Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly b. Bella Twins – Legdrop to Brie Bella
Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Zig Zag
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger – Rough Ryder
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – GTS onto the turnbuckle

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

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I figured that’s a better title than PPV Predictions as I’ll have some general thoughts in this as well.

As I’ve made very clear, this is a show that doesn’t need to exist.  The HIAC show should be moved to this date, or in a perfect world HIAC wouldn’t exist as a PPV but we’re splitting hairs here.  This show seems like a cutting off point as just after Sunday we start the build for Survivor Series and ultimately, Wrestlemania.  It seems like they’re just in a holding pattern until then, which isn’t a good thing for the most part.

As for the matches, I’m going to take Henry, Alberto and HHH/Punk.  My guess would be Kane returns around the end of the year and fights Henry at the Rumble.  Cena doesn’t have anything to do if he wins the title again and if they’re smart, they’ll let the title and Cena be apart for awhile as you can have two draws for the Mania build period.  Cena vs. Rock is bigger than the title anyway.  You need to have a face win in there so there’s the tag match stuff.

Thoughts/predictions?

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 10, 2011
Location: Chesapeake Energy Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This should be an interesting show as it’s after the walk out and we may only have about six guys (conveniently enough the top faces on the roster) and HHH to run things. There’s talk of something called a solidarity rally which I guess is their take on the Wall Street protests, which I’m sure will be laughed at because people complaining about business is bad right Vinny Mac? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the walk out last week and I think it was the same one on Smackdown.

And we have no commentators. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I guess he got the cameramen to agree with him as we go to the back and no one is there. HHH comes out of his office and looks around. He comes to the ring (with music) and talks about how everyone walked out last week. They walked out on the fans, not him. There’s a solidarity rally going on out back and they’re all in gear. HHH makes a good point by making fun of them for saying the show is too tough. They really do sound whiny out there with this argument.

He asks the fans if he should step down and he says no. HHH talks about how he’s never been a quitter and goes on a short rant about how he’ll never quit. He says he’ll wrestle a broomstick for two hours (Flair reference) and says it might give him a better match than some of those guys. There will be a show tonight, somehow.

Cue Cena who didn’t walk out last week. He’s very serious tonight and says there’s a reason he wasn’t walking out last week. Every person that walked out has personally asked him to join in the walk out. HHH never asked him to stay. HHH is the first boss for a lot of those guys so Cena runs down his bosses: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Vickie Guerrero, 56 guest hosts, a talking computer and Mike Adamle (“Now that was a real unsafe working environment.”) HHH is his boss and he’s staying.

Cena is staying because he loves the insanity. His loyalty is to the fans and when he wears the word loyalty on his shirt he means it. No matter what, he’s staying on Monday Night Raw. Cue Sheamus who talks about beating HHH up a year or so ago. He was young and trying to make a name for himself. Sheamus says that after that he got the worst beating of his life from HHH and he respects HHH for it. As corny as it sounds, that fits for Sheamus.

As for the big white dude, he’s not going anywhere because he didn’t come thousands of miles to be in a parking lot. Cue Punk with a mic. He says he can’t help but feel sorry….oh screw it yes he did start the whole thing. He made walking out look cool but now it looks stupid. Punk did it to prove a point and he had a great reason to do that. He talks about how someone doesn’t want him to be WWE Champion. Punk talks about how this is the place where differences between men are settled in a ring. This is professional wrestling, not ballet.

He talks about how he’ll deal with people personally (Calling Sheamus Shame-O and Cena the big boyscout). Punk asks the million dollar question: what do we do now? HHH says we do what we do on Raw: we shut up and fight. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. John Cena. Since HHH is in something resembling stripes he’ll referee. Punk will be on commentary on his own and he can even wear HHH’s blazer. The look on Punk’s face cracked me up. Punk also has to ring the bell and wants double pay.

John Cena vs. Sheamus

They start with some basic back and forth stuff and we go to a fast commercial. Back with Sheamus countering the AA into a suplex for two……AND VINCE IS BACK! We saw all of 45 seconds of the match.

Vince asks the guys to leave so he can talk to HHH on his own. The fans chant you got fired. The guys not named HHH go to the back and Vince talks about how they’re all standing up for what they believe in. He mentions the Wall Street protests and actually doesn’t make fun of them. He’s on HHH’s side in this. Vince talks about how there are people that sympathize on both sides and some of the people that are on the walkers side is the board of directors.

The board isn’t sure what’s coming from this and it could mean anything up to the cancellation of anything from house shows to Raw to Wrestlemania. HHH is relieved of his duties. Neither him nor Vince nor any McMahon will be running Raw. The board is looking for a GM who is ethical. There will however be an interim GM and that’s Johnny Ace. Oh dear.

After a break, Ace brings in the guys again. Morrison of all people talks to him and tells Morrison he absolutely sucks. Morrison has to have a match right now against an unspecified opponent. Christian sucks up to Ace and for some reason is put into the match with Morrison. Ok then.

JR and the King come out for commentary. And so does Cole.

John Morrison vs. Christian

Christian has Ziggler, Rhodes and Swagger with them. Both guys are in street clothes. This is a nothing match for the most part as they hit each other a lot and then Ziggler distracts Morrison so that a spear can end this at 1:12.

All three other heels hit their finishers on Morrison post match. Swagger’s music plays them out. Odd choice.

Alberto vs. Punk (non-title) tonight.

Henry vs. Orton, also non-title later.

Wait. The five guys from the last segment were in street clothes. Didn’t HHH say everyone was in their gear? Consistency people.

Post break Ace is on the phone with his wife and HHH comes in. HHH stares him down and Ace tries to talk his way out of trouble. He talks about how he’s a company guy and was appointed just like HHH was. HHH threatens him and leaves.

Henry is in the ring and talks about Big Show. We get a video of Show vs. Henry including Henry getting beaten up on Friday. Show vs. Henry is official for Vengeance. Henry says Vengeance will be his. Orton’s voice comes over the speakers and says Vengeance will be his.

Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

This is joined in progress after a break. Henry is overpowering Orton and JR calls him the Calculating Colossus. Oh dude….just no. A powerslam gets two but Henry misses an Earthquake drop and Orton takes over. A clothesline takes Henry down clean. Now that’s a high powered clothesline. Elevated DDT hits and here’s Cody Rhodes. He gets sent to the floor and Orton walks into the Slam. Orton escapes and hits the RKO but Cody runs in again for the DQ at 3:24 shown.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what you want me to say here as there wasn’t anything to this. Rhodes vs. Orton is a feud that hasn’t happened in full yet and now Rhodes is ready enough for it. Also getting Orton out of the title picture is probably a very good thing. Also it means the Cell ended a feud which is a good thing. Nothing to complain about here.

Post match Orton tries an RKO on Rhodes but gets shoved into the Slam. Henry leaves and Rhodes gives Orton CrossRhodes and bags him. Rhodes talks about cutting the head off the viper and asks if Randy wants a receipt with his paper bag and then laughs maniacally. Best laugh since DiBiase?

Rosa Mendes/Tamina vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly is all intense to start and she and Rosa botch the handspring elbow almost immediately with Rosa walking into the ring for the collision for some reason. Off to Tamina who gets beaten down by the weakest punches ever. Off to Eve and the fans go silent. Everything breaks down and Eve hits the moonsault for the pin at 2:14. This was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen. I mean it was BAD.

Johnny Ace comes out during Eve and Kelly’s celebration and they leave. He talks about doing the ethical thing and asks JR to come into the ring. Ace fires him for being a hick ingrate. JR tips his hat and leaves immediately. Cole is elated.

Mason Ryan/Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga

Bourne vs. Ziggler to start but Kofi is drawn in by the magnetic power of Dolph. Dolph is sent to the floor so Ryan throws him back in only for Kofi to clothesline him back out. A dive by Bourne takes him down also and we go to a break with a standoff. Bad match so far for the US Champ. Back with Kofi reversing Swagger and bringing in Ryan. Ryan uses his assortment of forearms and it’s back to Kofi.

Otunga comes in and slams Kofi a few times so it’s back to Dolph for a SWEET dropkick. Everything breaks down and Bourne gets caught in a HUGE powerbomb by Swags. Ryan picks up Ziggler and does the way too complex and long spinning release Rock Bottom for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. I just couldn’t get into this at all. I really hope they don’t just bypass Ryder as the #1 contender for the US title because he’s big and muscled. Anyway, this was a match that was just ok but Ryan and Otunga added nothing to it at all. Pretty boring overall and I didn’t get into it.

Brodus Clay is still coming.

Time to waste some time on the trailer for John Cena’s newest movie which has a limited engagement next weekend. It’s an action comedy where Cena is a private investigator to get an inheritance.

Del Rio vs. Cena for the title at Vengeance.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

This is non-title. They start off with a feeling out process until Punk pounds Del Rio down onto the floor. Del Rio takes over for a bit and they do a bunch of nothing for awhile. After about four minutes, here’s Johnny Ace to stop the match. It’s now a tag match with these two vs. Awesome Truth who are reinstated.

Awesome Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz

Miz and Truth do another remix onto the ring. This is in progress after a break. Del Rio fights off both of the other two heels and it’s off to Punk. This is one of those boring matches where they mess around a bit as we’re waiting for the ending to get here already. Alberto fights them both off again and tags in Punk before limping up the crowd with the help of Ricardo.

Ok so now it’s a handicap match. Miz and Truth are really boring when they’re in control. Punk fights them off for awhile and even manages to hit the Macho elbow on Miz. He calls for the GTS on Miz…and then it’s a double beatdown leading to a double DQ at 8:00. The fans audibly and correctly groaned at that ending.

Rating: D. Whatever here man. This was nothing and I could barely pay attention to it at the end. The ending was the worst thing they could have done to it and they did it anyway. Bad match and I have no idea where this is going, although in this case I don’t particluarly care, which isn’t good.

HHH comes out for the save and they beat on Awesome Truth until they run.

Ace makes Punk/Truth vs. Awesome Truth for Vengeance.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what I thought of this show. You certainly can’t say nothing happened though. It had some twists and turns and not a lot of wrestling. Ace as the GM is probably the most logical thing at the moment…..somehow…..but that doesn’t make him any more interesting. I guess we put the Big Bad reveal on hold a little while longer as I’m starting to agree that this has no idea where it’s going. It’s like they tried to reset the whole thing tonight and while I think I can see the ending to this coming, it’s not getting here any faster and that’s not good.

Results
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest
Christian b. John Morrison – Spear
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina – Moonsault to Mendes
Air Boom/Mason Ryan b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/David Otunga – Spinning release Rock Bottom to Ziggler
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk went to a no contest
CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio b. Awesome Truth via DQ when Awesome Truth double teamed Punk

Hell in a Cell 2011
Date: October 2, 2011
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Booker T

Well it’s only two weeks after the last PPV and it’s three weeks away from the next one so the build for this much be well developed right? Anyway the mains are a triple threat for Red and a rematch for Blue and as usual with the main events lately, Blue > Red. I’m really not wild on this show but the Cell should help things a little. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is your usual “oh no the Cell is horrible even though it’s the PG Era and the lack of brutality cripples this thing.”

Miz and Truth are in the front row and are ejected by Johnny Ace. That was quick.

Christian vs. Sheamus

Sheamus uses his power stuff to start us off and Christian uses his size and speed to escape. I love power vs. speed matches. Christian tries to speed things up and slaps Sheamus on the floor. Yes, slap the big monster that already wants to hurt you. Back in the forearms to the chest start up. I’d say that needs a name but that could be stupider than having two PPVs in two weeks.

Christian tries going up and that fails also, resulting in a powerslam/spinebuster. The top rope shoulder block is broken up and Sheamus is knocked to the floor to finally give Captain Charisma (if that name still applies) the advantage. Back in and a jumping back elbow (still love that move) gets two. We head to a sleeper hold because someone thinks it’s the 1980s and that move still means anything.

After it gets broken up, the Canadian just hammers away and actually beats Sheamus down. Score one for Canada I guess. Missile dropkick gets two. Sheamus is like screw this in an Irish accent and pounds Christian down. When all else fails, hit the other guy a lot. That should work almost every time. All Sheamus now as he hits some clotheslines but has a gorilla press countered into a Killswitch attempt which fails as usual.

Irish Curse (probably not called that anymore because 3 people in some tiny town in Ireland complained so WWE paid them some obscene sum so that they wouldn’t complain to Linda’s Senate campaign) gets two but Christian gets out of the Celtic Cross again. Christian heads up and that fails as well. He’s just not having a good night. He manages to knock Sheamus back for a bit and we get close to even.

Tornado DDT puts Sheamus down but the Killswitch is countered. So is the flying shoulder there but Sheamus pulls himself from sitting down in the corner to the top rope using the rope for a backflip in an awesome move and there’s the shoulder. Out to the floor and Christian drills him with a spear to put big Irish down. He gets back in at 8 and walks into another spear for a close two. I thought that might have been it. Christian tries for the Killswitch but it gets countered both times and after the Canadian’s shoulder goes into the post, the Brogue Kick puts him down for the pin at.

Rating: B. This was like a Smackdown main event and that means it’s fine on PPV. I was digging this but I’m a big Sheamus fan so there’s no surprise there. Christian is on a roll at the moment and has been having good matches with everyone. He has that kind of style that is easily adaptable and it meshes with everyone so this was no real surprise. Good stuff.

Henry cuts off Striker and makes fun of his voice and the usual interviews they have, saying Orton is joining the Hall of Pain no matter what.

Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara

This could be horrible. For the sake of sanity I’ll call them Black and Blue with Blue being the botchtastic original and Black being the replacement. They feel each other out and Blue frustrates Black a bit. Blue sends him to the floor and hits a big old flip dive. He looks a bit better than he did before he left so maybe the time for practice helped him. Black takes over and we head back into the ring.

And let’s hit the chinlock. I mean let’s hit it for awhile. Yes because in a match over who the real crazy high flier is, the right thing to do is go to a rest hold. I guess Black is supposed to be the evil one but it’s pretty stupid. The fans chant boring and I can’t say I disagree. Blue takes offense to it I guess and sends him to the floor for a big dive and back in for some kicks and a rana for two.

Black counters into a layout powerbomb for a close two. Booker talks about hitting someone in the mask area. Cole: “You mean the head?” Cole can be annoying but when he’s on with his jokes, he’s very on. As Cole makes fun of the Spanish of both guys, Blue hits a top rope armdrag for two but a swanton misses. Not that it matters as a sunset bomb hits a few seconds later for the pin at 9:40. Blue won if that wasn’t clearn.

Rating: C. That’s it? Booker summed up the ending perfectly well. “So what does this mean?” That’s the question that summarizes the problems with this whole feud: so what? It wasn’t a definitive finish as he won with the equivalent of a rollup. I don’t think they knew where they wanted to go with this feud and it showed pretty badly.

Otunga comes up to Punk in the back and lawyer jokes abound. Punk doesn’t want to talk to him and Punk makes fun of him some more and says he doesn’t need a lawyer even when he wins the title tonight. Otunga even has a sweater and bowtie tonight. Punk tells him to vanish.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Cole: “And yes folks that name is your fault!” Ziggler vs. Kofi to start us off. See, this is old school booking: these were four guys in two singles feuds and they didn’t really have anything else to do after that so they were combined into one feud and made into tag teams which gives them new matches down the road while still being able to feud with the same people in a different feud. See it’s not that hard.

Ziggler gets beaten down for awhile but gets a boot up in the corner to take down Bourne and bring in Swagger. Everyone but Ziggler is in blue. We get into the standard Air Boom formula: hot start, then they get into trouble and by that I mean Bourne gets beaten down for awhile. Cole talks about how Vickie is going to get Swagger matches and spots he wants which is what you do as a manager. You have someone like Vickie who is a heat magnet and you have two guys like Swagger and Ziggler with talent but limited charisma. It’s a perfect match as they can do in the ring and she supplements it with the talking. Everyone wins.

Kofi comes in and Swagger pulls the rope down to send him to the floor so Ziggy can take over. Cole goes on a long rant about HHH and how horrible he is and Booker is like man I was in WCW so don’t try to tell me about politics. Not in so many words but it’s almost kind of maybe in a way implied. We mix up the formula a bit here so that Kofi is the one getting beaten down.

After Ziggler gets his beating in it’s the ankle lock by Swagger. Kofi escapes and hits a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Bourne and everything breaks down. Ziggler bails so Kofi takes Swagger down and breaks up the ankle lock with a top rope cross body. Bourne hits a standing moonsault to Dolph for two. The challengers set for some assisted powerbomb off the top but Bourne counters into a rana off the top to pin Swagger at 11:13.

Rating: B-. I liked this and I’m glad that they kept the belts on Air Boom. They need to build up a team like them so that we can have another team step up to challenge them. It doesn’t mean anything to have worthless teams lose and win the titles over and over again. Having a team like Air Boom on TV a lot and win the matches over and over again makes them interesting and builds up their reputation. See how it works?

HHH trailer.

We recap Henry vs. Orton and I think you know the story here by now. Henry is a monster, beat up everyone then beat Orton for the title two weeks ago and that warrants the biggest gimmick match in the company. Clear connection right?

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

Vengeance is pushed and it’s in three weeks. Are you serious? They head to the floor quickly and Orton sends him into the cage and beats him down. Orton tries the elevated DDT but it’s too early for that so Henry fights it off and Orton’s shoulder goes into the post and gets pulled on. Orton gets sent into the cage but fights back in the ring. Henry is like FRIED CHICKEN AND BISCUITS and hits a powerslam for two. Henry goes for the steps and slams them into Orton (or was it the other way around?) to keep up the dominance.

Henry uses more step stuff and sends him into the cage then yells about pizza and twinkies before we go back inside. Orton tries to hammer away but Henry is just too fat. He picks Orton up into the World’s Strongest Slam position but hits a backbreaker instead. Then he does it again. I guess he wanted to go back for seconds. Off to a bearhug so Henry can think of peach cobbler and Skittles.

JR drops some alliteration on us as Henry keeps dominating. At Mania 13 Shawn was on commentary and said of Sid that he didn’t stray from the power game because it took him everywhere he needed to go. That’s Henry in a nutshell: why change things if they work? More bearhuggery as my money is on prime rib wishes and burrito dreams for the champion.

Orton tries to hammer away but Henry is like THE POWER OF PUMPKIN PIE COMPELS YOU and sends him to the floor again. He sets to plant Orton like a patch of carrots into the steps with the Slam but Orton grabs onto the cage and climbs up a bit so he can DDT Henry onto the steps. Momentum shifts now and Henry is in trouble. Thesz Press and punches set up a dropkick to put Henry on the apron.

The elevated DDT actually works and the RKO does as well but Henry kicks out at two. Orton is shocked and isn’t sure what to do now. That’s a great plot device as Randy only had one big weapon to use but it only got two. Cole says Orton can’t beat him. Booker says hit it again. I never got why after a finisher can’t get a pin that everyone thinks they can’t get the pin. I mean…you can do it again. Orton loads up the Punt but Henry grabs him into the World’s Strongest Slam and gets the pin at 16:00. Sweet.

Rating: B-. This was like dipping a toe into the water of what the Cell is capable of. They used the cage a bit here and it helped a lot. Still though, this was kind of limited but you can’t really blame him for that. There’s only so much you can do with Henry and the big spots are of course out of the questions here. I’d have liked a few more minutes but if this was all they could do, I’m cool with that.

Post match Henry goes to leave but goes back in for dessert. He hits another Slam on Orton and sets up for Pillmanization. Orton moves (smart guy) and gets the chair. He pounds Henry down and they go up the aisle. Orton keeps pounding away and goes for a big chair shot but Henry gets a kick to the ribs and Henry runs. So yeah, there’s going to be a third one, probably in another gimmick match because the Cell is just a stop in the road on a feud anymore.

Alberto says he can win in the Cell and he’ll be like an animal trapped in a cage. You’ll see a new side of him tonight.

Here’s Rhodes and he has a surprise. He unveils a new IC Title which looks like the old style and has the white strap instead of the black. I think I’m digging this. Cody says he’ll defend the title anywhere anytime. Here’s Johnny Ace to complain though and he says HHH says the title is on the line tonight and it’s right now.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Cody Rhodes

They needed a filler match so this is a good thing. Yeah I’m digging the white belt. Cody is in street clothes and is rolled up for two very quickly. Cole stands up for Cody (instead of WWE) and Cody can’t do anything because of his attire. Morrison takes over and sends Cody to the floor. Rhodes gets his shirt off and Morrison throws it into the crowd. Cody keeps heading to the floor and looks like he wants to leave.

Morrison is like *insert stupid expression here* and heads to the floor. Back in and Rhodes takes over for a bit. Well of course he can. I mean, Morrison is just a former champion and a world class athlete so of course a non warmed up guy can take over on him while in street clothes. Ok so he used the mask but you get the idea. Off to a seated abdominal stretch. Yeah because the weak spot on Morrison is his abs right?

Alabama Slam is countered but Rhodes grabs a Figure Four of all things. Ok so now he’s working on the knee. I guess it’s better than the ribs/abs. Now he’s focusing on the face. And I used to say he had psychology. Here’s Morrison’s comeback and a kick sets up Starship Pain but Rhodes breaks it up. Belly to back is countered but Morrison hits a Pele (called that) and sets for whatever he calls the Beautiful Disaster but Rhodes ducks and a rollup lets him retain at 7:23.

Rating: C. For a thrown on match, this was ok. They desperately needed something to fill out some of the card and getting the IC Title on PPV is always a bad thing. It’s hard to argue with bonus wrestling and this match was ok enough to fill in about ten minutes or so in total so no complaints there. Also having the white belt back with the old design brings a smile to my face.

Ace comes up to HHH on the phone and cuts HHH off from yelling at him. Awesome Truth is in the back. HHH runs to the back and finds them having destroyed Air Boom. Ace gets yelled at as the champions are down.

Divas Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly runs at her and hits what are supposed to be Thesz Presses (popular move tonight) and the screaming headscissors which is countered into a backbreaker. Beth takes over and chokes her down with what looks like a dragon sleeper. Off to another backbreaker but this time she bends Kelly over her knee but Kelly counters into a rollup for two. Slingshot suplex gets two for Beth.

Kelly starts her comeback and uses generic offense and a neckbreaker for two. She tries the bad bulldog but Beth counters into a Glam Slam attempt. Beth pounds away in the corner but Kelly fights out and hits the handspring elbow. Cole calls it vintage and Great Muta rolls his eyes somewhere. Top rope bulldog by Kelly gets a very close two. Eve and Nattie get into it on the floor and Eve goes flying into the barricade.

K2 is countered and Beth kicks Kelly between the legs for some reason. Beth hooks up that freaky submission that Natalya has been using lately and Nattie gets on the mic and tells Kelly to scream. Kelly makes the ropes and Natalya pops her with the mic which somehow the referee didn’t hear. Glam Slam FINALLY ends Kelly’s reign at 8:34. Yes they’re that long on time.

Rating: C. This was way too long and I can’t get over the ending: Beth Phoenix needed a mic shot to beat Kelly Kelly? I don’t get that at all as they’ve made Beth look weak already with two straight losses but at least she finally has the belt. I’d assume this sets up Eve vs. Kelly as they fill in as much time as they can for the Kharma return in like another 7 months or however long it is.

Vengeance is coming.

We recap the Raw World Title which is clouded or something because of what happened at MITB and Summerslam. Not really but whatever. Either way it’s Cell match time.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

After big match intros we’re ready to go. There’s a TON of time for this as it’s only about 10 minutes after 10. They emphasize that the fall has to be in the ring. Fair enough. Alberto immediately hits the floor and runs a lot. Both guys chase him and they slide in to get in what they can and the Super Best Friends fight over who gets to beat up Del Rio. Punk tries to steal the title on a rollup but it only gets two.

The big stars face off and both escape the other’s finishers. Del Rio tries to take Cena out but gets caught in an AA attempt on the floor. Punk dives onto Del Rio and Cena to break it up for some reason and back in the ring a neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio. The dueling chants begin but after being a CM Punk/Let’s Go Cena chant it’s turned into Cena Sucks very quickly. See the issue? It’s not so much pro Punk but rather anti-Cena.

Del Rio gets back into this and sends Punk into the cage. Cena is down also and Punk is the only one left standing after he takes out Alberto. He loads up a table on the floor but Cena shoves him into the cage to avoid a bulldog. Alberto gets a chair in and hits a belly to back onto the chair with Cena slowing breaking the chair down. That looked good. There are the chants again.

Cena is in the Tree of Woe and Del Rio misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the post. Off to Punk vs. Del Rio and with Punk in trouble, Cena dives off the top with the legdrop and gets two on both guys. This is good so far. AA is escaped by Alberto and he goes for the ribs/back of Cena. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Ricardo fans him off. Cena and Punk slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. GTS is broken up by a chair swung by Del Rio.

He picks up the chair and comes off the top with it to land on both of the Super Best Friends, getting two on each. Del Rio charges at Punk in the corner but is dropped over the top and hits the stairs on the way out. You couldn’t see it but you could hear it. AA out of nowhere gets two on Punk with Alberto saving. Del Rio is sent to the floor again and this time it’s the GTS to Cena for two. Del Rio saves again and sends Punk into the steps. He’s been the wild card in this so far and it’s working.

Cena is sent into the cage again so it’s Punk vs. Del Rio in the ring. Punk fights back and the Macho Elbow gets two. Cena comes back in and sends Punk through the table at ringside. Cena grabs the STF and Ricardo takes down the referee and breaks into the Cell. Ricardo has a pipe with him but Cena takes him down and throws him out of the Cell. Del Rio gets the pipe and bashes Cena with it. He throws Cena out and locks him outside with the key inside. Ok this is interesting.

The Mexican hits a German on the American for two. Punk goes up and Del Rio hits the running enziguri for two. Cross armbreaker is broken up and Punk fires off the kicks. Leg lariat puts Del Rio down and Cena is just now getting up and figures out that he’s locked out. Punk hits the bulldog as Cena looks for the key. Springboard clothesline gets two and Cena is trying to break the chain and the lock open. Alberto goes to the floor and grabs the pipe. It’s only about 10:30 so there’s plenty of time here. Two pipe shots put Punk down and Del Rio wins it at 24:12. I guess there isn’t a lot of time left.

Rating: B+. Good match here as they had time to work with and made it violent. You can have good stuff like this without blood and this was one of the better ones ever. The ending came much earlier than I was expecting and the championship changing is a nice surprise. Also it gives Del Rio a more legitimate title reign which is something he needed. I’m sure Cena vs. Del Rio is booked for Vengeance though.

Post match the Cell raises up and Cena gets in as do men in black hoodies. It’s Miz/Truth with pipes or something and the beating is on. HHH comes out and gets beaten down also as the Cell lowers again. HHH is on the floor, outside of the cage. The locker room comes out but no one has the idea of bolt cutters. Miz and Truth beat up cameramen and referees as some cops come in with cutters and get in. Truth and Miz surrender to the police and are cuffed. HHH beats up the cuffed men and is taken out by security…and we’re off the air at 10:37.

Overall Rating: B. I had a good time with this show despite the early ending. The Cell matches were good because, and this is a new idea I know: THEY USED THE CAGE AND MADE THEM VIOLENT. My goodness why is that such a complex idea? Oh wait, Linda was trying to become a Senator so they had to slow things down and make sure it was as kid friendly as possible last year. Not bad at all and I had a good time with it. However, the lack of build for it is going to hurt and the stuff that happened on the show will be blamed when the buyrate sucks, which is the nature of WWE anymore. Good show though.

Results
Sheamus b. Christian – Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara – Sunset Bomb
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Top rope hurricanrana to Swagger
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World’s Strongest Slam
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison – Rollup
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena and CM Punk – Pin after a pipe shot to Punk