Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the Redo’s picked for Survivor Series and in a way, that is rather odd. In this case, there is very little Survivor Seriesing going on, with just one elimination match, which happens to be a tag team edition. Other than that, we have a huge tag match as Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect face Razor Ramon and Ric Flair, plus Bret Hart defending the WWE Title against Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. Bobby is NOT happy about Mr. Perfect joining forces with Randy Savage.

High Energy vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. Samu shoves Hart down without much trouble to start but misses a crossbody. Hart’s crossbody and dropkick work far better and it’s off to Ware to work on the arm. For some reason Ware tries ramming their heads together, which works as well as you would expect. Afa gets in a cheap shot from the floor and Fatu runs Ware over with a hard clotheslines as the fans are not pleased.

The nerve hold (you knew that one was coming) goes on and another clothesline drops Ware again. Ware tries to fight up and is casually superkicked right back down (Fatu always had a good superkick). Back up and Ware avoids a charge, with Samu going head first into the post. That’s enough for the tag off to Hart to pick the pace way up. A high crossbody gets two on Fatu but Samu plants him with a powerslam. Fatu’s Superfly Splash finishes Hart at 7:40.

Rating: C+. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan and this was a good example of why. They did some things rather well (Fatu’s superkick and splash looked awesome) but they are a team where what you see is what you get. While High Energy was out there flying around and doing what they could, the Headshrinkers were out there to hit you hard and do their second generation Wild Samoan stuff. It worked back in the day and it worked again here in a nice opener.

Nailz, with that still weird deep voice, has been looking forward to hurting the Big Boss Man for a long time. Tonight, he gets the chance, with Boss Man unable to handcuff him to a steel bunk bed. Boss Man and his feel guards know what kind of a good climber he is! He committed no crime but tonight he’s ready to do horrible things to Boss Man with that nightstick. How Sean Mooney doesn’t crack up at all of this is unclear.

Big Boss Man doesn’t buy Nailz saying he’s an innocent man because he’s seen the file. His job is to make sure Nails serves hard time…and then he literally runs off to the ring.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Nightstick on a pole match with Boss Man charging to the ring as Nailz is already climbing. Boss Man slugs away but gets whipped hard into the corner. Nailz hammers away but it’s too early for him to get the stick. Back up and Boss Man goes simple by punching him in the face, only to get slammed off when going for the stick. The chinlock goes on (Heenan: “RIP IT OFF!”) but Boss Man fights out, only to miss a splash.

Boss Man knocks him down again and they both get a breather. They get up for a double clothesline and they’re both down again. That’s enough for Boss Man to get the stick and deck Nailz in the face but he shrugs it off. A right hand makes Boss Man drop the stick and Nailz gets in a few shots of his own. Not that it matters as the Boss Man Slam is enough to pin Nailz at 5:40.

Rating: D+. The nightstick doesn’t make much of a difference if it doesn’t make an impact and that was the case here. They traded nightstick shots and barely hurt each other so there wasn’t much of a point. Other than that, it was a slow brawl without anything important. Lame stuff here as Boss Man was rapidly running out of steam.

Ric Flair and Razor Ramon aren’t happy with Mr. Perfect turning on them to join Mr. Savage as Ultimate Warrior’s replacement. We see a clip of Savage picking Perfect and Bobby Heenan running his mouth to make Perfect switch sides. Heenan begging for mercy and for Perfect to reconsider is such a Heenan thing for him to do. Flair and Ramon swear vengeance on the now crazy Perfect.

Heenan goes on a great rant against Perfect as only he could.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

This is during Martel’s kind of sailing captain phase and he has some of Tatanka’s feathers to make this personal. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to start but he reverses and chops away. Some dropkicks have Martel on the floor, followed by an atomic drop to put him outside again. Back in and Martel grabs a hot shot (Heenan approves) to take over.

The front facelock goes on as we hear about Sgt. Slaughter being Jack Tunney’s official rule enforcer. Tatanka suplexes his way out of a front facelock but Martel puts it right back on. Cue Doink The Clown as Martel knocks Tatanka back down and grabs the same front facelock. Tatanka fights up and hits a clothesline before avoiding a charge to send Martel shoulder first into the post.

The arm cranking goes on as the fans are just silent here. An armdrag into an armbar cuts off the energy again as this just keeps going. Martel fights up and sends him to the floor, only to get punched out of the air back inside. Tatanka starts the comeback and hits the top rope chop to the head. The Papoose To Go finally finishes Martel at 11:07.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t awful, but instead really boring. Tatanka and Martel could probably have a good match that runs about seven minutes but there is nothing you can get out of that many front facelocks and then Tatanka working the arm late in the match. Not a terrible match, but it took me a long time to get through it as it was just that dull.

Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage know that Ric Flair hates them being a team. Perfect is ready to take out Flair and Razor Ramon, because Bobby Heenan knows Perfect can beat both of them. Savage says if the villains were mad before, they’re going to be even madder in a little while.

Ric Flair/Razor Ramon vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

Heenan is of course incredible here with his rants about what is coming to Perfect. Ramon and Perfect get things going with Ramon hitting a running shoulder. That doesn’t work for Perfect, who is back with a slap but Perfect bails from the threat of a double team. Flair comes in and is quickly taken down by Perfect, who chops away in the corner. There’s the Flair Flip to the apron, where Savage knocks him to the floor for a bonus.

It’s off to Savage for a top rope ax handle to the ribs, leaving a Flair fan (in robe) losing it in the crowd. Savage slugs away on Flair and the interfering Ramon, setting up that signature running clothesline on Flair. A cheap shot slows Savage down though and it’s Ramon coming in to slug away. Ramon can’t get anywhere with Savage’s leg so he goes with the choking instead.

Flair slugs away in the corner and it’s right back to Ramon for the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Flair tosses Savage over the top for a crash, setting up the running knee. Ramon grabs a kind of weak half crab….and Perfect is walking up the aisle. He sees Savage bleeding on the screen though and that’s enough to draw him back, much to Heenan’s annoyance.

With order restored, Flair gets two off a chop but Savage manages a desperation backslide for the same. Ramon comes right back in and grabs a chokeslam for two more on Savage. There’s a clothesline to put him down again but for some reason Flair goes up, earning a slam off the bottom rope for an extra big crash. The double tag (diving on Savage’s end) brings in Perfect to face Ramon as everything breaks down.

Flair chairs Savage in the head with a chair on the floor and Perfect is whipped into the referee. Another referee comes out as Perfect flips out of a Razor’s Edge and grabs the PerfectPlex. The new referee counts two as Flair makes the save so it’s PerfectPlex to him as well. The first referee counts two with Ramon making a save, meaning the villains are finally DQ’d at 16:30.

Rating: B-. It was one of the featured matches on the show but it was only so interesting. The biggest problem here is that the heat on Savage was rather long and then the ending felt like it was designed to set something else down the line. Flair and Perfect would keep going but Savage and Ramon were pretty much done, making this a preview for something that didn’t happen.

Post match the beatdown is on until Savage makes the save with a chair. Perfect gets the chair and clean house (Heenan: “SOMEBODY GET DOWN THERE AND STOP HIM!”). The announcement of the DQ gives us a classic THAT’S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR! Respect is shown.

Flair and Ramon swear vengeance.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna does his sumo stomps in the corner and knocks Virgil down without much trouble. Some dropkicks work for Virgil but he tries an O’Connor roll to limited avail. A superkick cuts Virgil down and Yokozuna slowly pounds away. Virgil’s comeback attempt is cut off by a side slam and the big legdrop makes it worse. The splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop to finish Virgil at 3:44.

Rating: C. Pretty much a total squash here and that’s all it needed to be. This version of Yokozuna was rather mobile and someone who felt like different kind of monster. It makes sense to put him out here to wreck a loser like Virgil and he looked rather dominant. Good stuff here, and the push is clearly coming.

Mr. Perfect has turkeys for Ric Flair and Razor Ramon. Bobby Heenan gets a little chicken.

Natural Disasters/Nasty Boys vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

The villains have the Genius/Jimmy Hart in their corner and if one person is eliminated, their partner is as well. Typhoon backs Blake into the corner and then shoves him into the corner without much effort. An over the shoulder backbreaker has Blake in more trouble and Earthquake comes in for a bearhug. A powerslam puts Blake down again and Knobbs runs him over to make it worse.

It’s off to Sags, who finally gets caught in the wrong corner so Beau can come in for a change. Sags hits a pumphandle slam (Vince: “What a wrestling maneuver!”) but Beau grabs a butterfly suplex. DiBiase comes in for a change but gets suplexed down in a hurry. IRS comes in and elbows Sags down so Beau can drop an elbow for two. The chinlock goes on but Sags fights up for a double knockdown. The tag brings Earthquake back in to wreck everything, setting up the Earthquake to Beau for the elimination at 9:26.

Earthquake runs DiBiase over and it’s Typhoon coming in for a headbutt. A missed charge actually lets Money Inc. manage a double belly to back suplex, followed by a wishbone snap. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by DiBiase’s middle rope ax handle. DiBiase’s middle rope dive into a raised boot lands on a raised boot and it’s back to Typhoon to clean house. The big splash hits IRS but DiBiase makes the save, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for the pin at 15:55. Then Sags rolls IRS up for the pin at 16:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly good but rather long with almost nothing worth seeing. There was a story o Hart losing Money Inc. and the Disasters as teams while the Nasty Boys wanted the Tag Team Titles but that wasn’t exactly thrilling here. This felt like lip service to having the Survivor Series concept and if that’s the best they’ve got, they might as well have just skipped it this year (which they seemed to want to do).

Randy Savage, Mr. Perfect and Tatanka are on the Superstar Line.

Heenan rants about Perfect again.

We recap Kamala beating up Undertaker at Summerslam, only to have Undertaker do the situp and scare him away. Undertaker wanted revenge and Kamala was terrified of a casket, so he built a really big casket. It was a simpler time.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Coffin match (win by pin/submission, loser goes into the casket) with Paul Bearer, Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman here as well. Undertaker chases him to the floor to start but Kamala chops away back inside. That’s fine with Undertaker, who strikes right back and hits Old School. Well not that old at this point.

Some shots to the face stagger Undertaker though and Kamala sends him outside for a ram into the steps. A chair to the back staggers Undertaker again but some chops don’t do much back inside. Three slams in a row set up a series of splashes but lets bring the Urn in. Kamala freaks out so Undertaker gets up and hits him in the head with it for the win at 5:28.

Rating: C-. Another not so great match as Kamala just wasn’t that interesting in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there was almost no way to imagine Kamala beating Undertaker, who was a major star and far out of Kamala’s league. The match was a way to wrap things up for Undertaker, who needed a new monster to slay. Much like the previous match, this was a way to get something (or someone) on the show and that didn’t make it interesting.

Post match Kamala nails the coffin shut and wheels it out.

Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels says he beat the British Bulldog for the title and since the Bulldog beat Bret Hart for the title, Michaels can beat Bret tonight.

Bret Hart says he’s ready to beat Shawn and add him to a list of recently defeated challengers (Berzerker! Rick Martel! VIRGIL!). We hear about how Bret rose through the ranks to get here and he isn’t ready to lose just yet, even to a great wrestler like Shawn.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Only Bret is defending. After the handing off of the sunglasses to a kid, Bret takes Shawn into the corner. They go to the mat with Bret easily taking control and sending Shawn bailing to the rope. Back up and Bret takes over on the arm, including some armbarring. We’ll make that some hammerlocking with some knees to the arm but Shawn is back up with a hammerlock of his own.

That’s reversed with a toss out to the floor, followed by another armbar back inside. Shawn slugs his way out of trouble, only to get clotheslined down for two. The armbar goes on again but Shawn drops him across the top to get a breather. Shawn sends him shoulder first into the post and hits a DDT onto the arm. We hit the chinlock for a good while, setting up a backbreaker into another chinlock.

Bret fights up and gets a neckbreaker but Shawn takes him right back down. Now it’s a front facelock to keep Bret down, though this time he’s back up with some shoulders in the corner. The bulldog out of the corner sets up the missed middle rope elbow and we’re back to the front facelock. Bret is up again and manages a belly to back suplex before sending him head first into the post.

There’s the backdrop (you know Bret can call that one) into the Russian legsweep for two, followed by the middle rope elbow for the same. A high impact superplex gives Bret a rather delayed near fall and they’re getting tired. The referee gets crushed in the corner…but is right back up. Shawn sends Bret outside and manages a posting, followed by his own backdrop for his own two back inside.

The superkick (not yet the finisher, or even named) doesn’t even warrant a cover so the teardrop suplex (almost an Angle Slam) gives Shawn two. Bret gets in a shot though and gets Shawn tied up in the ropes, only to miss a charge and crash hard. Shawn goes up but dives right into the Sharpshooter to retain Bret’s title at 26:39.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times now and while it is good, it really needed to be about eight minutes shorter. There is a lot of time spent just sitting there in either the armbar or the chinlock, which can get rather tedious. It got better near the end and Bret is a beatable enough champion to make this work, but it went longer than it needed to and that brought things down a bit.

And then Santa Claus comes out to celebrate with Bret to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The two big matches are good enough and they get more time than almost anything else on the show, but the biggest problem here is nothing really feels major. Bret vs. Shawn feels more like a really enhanced midcard match while the big tag match is….I’m not sure what it is but it didn’t feel important enough to be the featured match. It’s clear that the WWF is in a transitional period here and it’s really not clicking yet. Not an awful show, but nothing you need to see save for maybe some historical curiosity.

 

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

2012 Redo: C+

2023 Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
2012 Redo: C-

2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

2012 Redo: C

2023 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

2012 Redo: F

2023 Redo: C-

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

2012 Redo: A

2023 Redo: B

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: C

Yeah Bret vs. Shawn just isn’t that great.

Bashed In The USA
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan
Host: Mr. Perfect

I’ve seen this tape before but it’s been such a long time that it’s worth another look now that the Vault has put it up. This is from 1993 so it’s not the greatest time in the company’s history but there should be some decent stuff in there. If nothing else, Bret and Shawn should be around to save things. Let’s get to it.

Out host is Mr. Perfect, who is looking for the perfect…stamp. Geez how bad were the ideas they rejected?

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Razor Ramon vs. Big Boss Man

Ramon offers ring announcer Mike McGuirk a kiss before the match but she doesn’t seem interested. They stall a lot to start with Ramon wanting the nightstick gone (fair) and then promising to throw Boss Man out. Boss Man responds by SNAPPING THE TOOTHPICK but Ramon bails to the floor. After over two minutes of stalling, Boss Man wants to head outside as well, meaning it’s time for some stretching on the barricade.

Ramon invites Boss Man back inside so Boss Man shakes the ropes for a low blow, which I guess counts as contact? They finally lock up after over three minutes and they roll around the ropes. Ramon shoves him so Boss Man is back with a good right hand. Ramon’s headlock and shoulder don’t get him very far so Boss Man invites him to try it again.

We go to the test of strength, with Boss Man going down to a knee and Ramon kicks him in the ribs for daring to try a comeback. Boss Man fights up and hits the uppercut before elbowing him into a rollup for two. Some right hands in the corner have Ramon in more trouble but he grabs the nightstick. The big swing misses but Ramon gets a boot up in the corner. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Ramon the cheap pin at 7:45.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t very good, as it was a bunch of stalling and then some very basic stuff. Boss Man was mostly done as a big deal at this point and wouldn’t even be around the company that much longer. Ramon on the other hand was brand new so giving him a win helped. Just maybe make it a bit better on the way there next time.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t think much of Ramon and we see a clip from Survivor Series 1992 of Perfect cleaning house with a chair.

From June 3, 1992 in Cornwall, Ontario, Canada.

Rick Martel/Money Inc. vs. Tatanka/High Energy

Jimmy Hart is here with Martel and company. Owen armdrags DiBiase down to start as commentary buries someone named Marty Applebaum, who apparently works for Coliseum Video. This isn’t the first time they’ve mocked him so we have a running joke, and it’s a long run as well as this goes on for a good while. DiBiase armdrags Owen right back and mocks him a bit but gets dropkicked, with everything breaking down and the villains getting cleaned out.

Back in and Martel turns his back on Owen, who brings Tatanka in to take him apart. The middle rope chop to the head sends Martel to the floor and it’s off to Ware for a dropkick to IRS. Monsoon buries him too by saying Ware has put on about 25lbs. A shot from behind puts Ware down but he’s up and over to Tatanka for the tag. DiBiase gets a boot up in the corner, though commentary would rather talk about French fries. Martel comes in for kicking and choking and it’s back to IRS with a middle rope fist to the head.

DiBiase gets in a snapmare into a chinlock as Hayes talks about which partner Tatanka should tag (he picks Hart). Tatanka fights up for a sunset flip but gets caught in the front facelock. Naturally he gets over to Ware but the referee doesn’t see the tag, meaning IRS can choke in the corner (Hayes approves, like the evil Englishman he is). Tatanka finally suplexes his way to freedom and the tag brings in Hart to clean hammer away. Everything breaks down and DiBiase trips Ware, who gets pinned by IRS at 12:13, despite neither of them being legal (which Monsoon does point out).

Rating: C. This was long and fairly dull, but I can go for a six man where they get some people out there and let them do their thing for a bit. Martel and Tatanka were in the middle of a fairly dull feud but at least the other match was fairly fresh. The ending left a good bit to be desired though, as it wasn’t hard to keep track of who was legal. Unless you’re a Hebner, but why would you ever trust one of them?

Mr. Perfect finally gets some help with the stamp and throws us to a profile on Shawn Michaels. The store employee not even turning her head when Perfect stops to talk to the camera is rather funny.

Shawn Michaels can’t believe he was asked to get his amazing career down to three matches but he’s the Wrestler of the 90s so it’s easy enough.

From January 26, 1993 in Fresno, California.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kamala

Michaels is defending and Slick is here with Kamala. Some belly slapping has Michaels dodging as there are A LOT of empty seats opposite the camera. Michaels slides between the legs as we’re still waiting on the first contact. The offer of a handshake lets Michaels get in a right hand but a whip out of the corner gets him nowhere. Instead Kamala chops him out to the floor and takes a quick lap, with Slick telling him to stay in the ring, which Hayes DOES NOT like.

Back in and Michaels’ cheap shot doesn’t work so Kamala grabs a bearhug into a choke. That’s broken up and Michaels gets in a shot off the top for a knockdown. Kamala is right back with a superkick and the chops before just dumping him over the top. Michaels throws Slick down and just walks out, with Kamala following for the double countout at 4:30.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time here and it wasn’t exactly worth seeing. Michaels was an all time in-ring star but there is only so much that even he can do in a four minute match against Kamala with so much of the time being wasted. As usual, I don’t get the point in having matches in a profile go like this but that’s the Coliseum Video way.

Post match Kamala drags Michaels back to the ring and gives him a splash.

Michaels mocks Kamala and is ready for his next match, even if it’s against an odd opponent.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Skinner

Michaels is defending again in a rare heel vs. heel match. We get a slow start as Michaels has to take his entrance gear off, with Skinner sending him straight into the corner. A slam drops Michaels and a heck of a right hand puts him on the floor. Back in and Skinner knocks him down again, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.

Commentary tries to figure out if Skinner would rather have the title or Michaels stuffed on his mantle. A shoulder breaker gets two and they go outside, where Skinner misses a charge into the post. Back in and Michaels tries to jump over him but gets punched in the face. Some hard headbutts and a faceplant have Michaels in more trouble. Skinner throws him over the top but Michaels slides back in for the superkick to retain at 4:40.

Rating: C+. Skinner was oddly impressive as a de facto face here, as he beat Michaels up until a quick ending. This was better than I was expecting, even with the heel vs. heel setup. I’m not sure how far Skinner could have gone, but he was shockingly good in this kind of a role.

Michaels says it’s time to face off against a real human being.

From October 28, 1992 in Louisville, Kentucky.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Virgil

Michaels is defending and takes him down without much trouble as Heenan worries about Michaels chewing gun during the match. Some slaps to the back of the head annoy Virgil so much that he hits a dropkick for two. That’s cut off in a hurry and Michaels knocks him down again, setting up a quick chinlock.

Virgil gets back up so Michaels drops him with a clothesline, followed by a not great looking suplex. Michaels charges into a boot in the corner and gets clotheslined in the back of his head, allowing Virgil to start the snap jabs. A middle rope clothesline gives Virgil two but he misses a knee in the corner. The teardrop suplex retains the title at 7:10.

Rating: C. I know Virgil had a bit of a following around this time but my goodness he’s just so generic. There’s nothing to him that makes him stand out in any way and his big move here was a middle rope clothesline. Michaels never felt in danger and it was nice to see him get a win, but it would have been better with a higher level opponent.

Michaels brags about his success and goes to answer the door because his chicks are here.

Mr. Perfect knows a lot about stamps.

From May 18, 1992 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Battle Royal

Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Sgt. Slaughter, Tatanka, El Matador, Virgil, Texas Tornado, Barry Horowitz, Jim Powers, Repo Man, Kato, Skinner, Dale Wolfe, Brooklyn Brawler, Brian Costello, Reno Riggins, Barry Hardy, Duane Gill, Chuck Casey, Tom Stone, Crush, Colonel Mustafa, Burt Spears, George Anderson, Ron Cumberledge, Mark Spears, Ted DiBiase, IRS, Jerry Sags, Brian Knobbs, Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Hawk, Animal, Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Earthquake, Typhoon

I missed some of the jobbers’ names and I can’t imagine that matters whatsoever. They start fairly slowly as there is only so much room to maneuver out there right now. A bunch of people get together to doss Earthquake and Typhoon early on, which does at least give us some extra room. Naturally Hart and Michaels get into it, as they are eternally required to do. Cumberledge is out (Savage: “I was going to say the unknown soldier.”) and another jobber who isn’t worthy of commentary’s attention is out too.

Someone else (“Another young man.”) is tossed and Hawk actually goes up for some right hands, because he’s not all there. You can see a lot of people just standing around waiting on something to do because there is only so much room and stuff going on. Hawk and Sags are both knocked out and brawl on the floor before their partners are out as well. The ring is slowly starting to clear out but there are still a bunch of people.

Two more jobbers are out and at least now there is something of a space in the middle where some action can take place. More jobbers, Repo Man and Tornado are out and it’s time for some people to rake backs. Crush goes after both Beverlys as Michaels and Hart go out at the same time. Mustafa tosses Horowitz and IRS gets rid of Slaughter. Powers is out and the bizarre team of DiBiase and Kato get rid of Crush.

Brawler is out too and Tatanka gently puts Mustafa out. Ware is backdropped out (thank goodness he’s wearing parachute pants) and Stone is out (as he was somehow still in). Kato, DiBiase and Virgil (the last two together) are out in a row. Stone is out again (ok then) and we’re down to Tatanka, Blake, Beau and IRS. Tatanka tries to fight all of them but IRS dumps Beau. Tatanka gets rid of IRS and then chops Blake out for the win at 13:17.

Rating: C-. Pretty bleh battle royal here but they ran this forty man version all over the place. It’s still cool to see as it has a lot of the midcard, plus a wide variety of jobbers. There’s nothing in the way of action though and nothing was really built up, save for maybe the Beverlys hanging in there. Nothing much to see here, but the concept is cool.

Perfect rips up a $2 million stamp because it’s not in perfect condition.

Bret Hart does a lot of art. This is pretty well known and he’s rather talented. He draws (mainly in caricature/cartoon style) the Undertaker, Paul Bearer, Yokozuna, Mr. Fuji, Money Inc. and Hulk Hogan while talking about how everyone has a gift. Nice little feature here.

From June 1, 1992 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

Intercontinental Title: Rick Martel vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending. Believe it or not they go technical to start, with neither being able to get an advantage. The headlock takeover into the headscissors sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Martel cartwheels away. Hart goes for the arm but Martel cartwheels away again, only to get clotheslined outside by an apparent gymnastics hater.

Back in and Martel gets in a few shots of his own to take over, only to miss a charge into the post. Hart works on the arm and gets two off a backslide before going back to the arm, as he is known to do. Martel gets out, misses an elbow, and gets armbarred again. That’s broken up as well and Martel knocks him down but the chinlock doesn’t last long. A sunset flip gives Hart two but Martel gives him a gutwrench suplex.

Another suplexes is broken up so Hart hits an atomic drop (you know the funny sell is included) and follows up with a clothesline. The Russian legsweep gets two but the referee gets bumped, allowing Martel to use the atomizer. The Boston crab goes on but here is Shawn Michaels to deck Hart for the DQ at 10:13.

Rating: C+. The ending actually makes sense, as Michaels was mildly obsessed with the idea of taking the title from Hart. Therefore, he didn’t want Martel to take the title, even if it meant screwing over a fellow heel. At the same time, this sets up Michaels vs. Martel in their bizarrely interesting No Punches To The Face match at Summerslam.

From June 30, 1992 in Binghamton, New York.

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

The Genius is here with the Brothers. The Brothers jump them to start but the Disasters actually do a do-see-do to avoid a crash into each other. Stereo splashes in the corner crush the Brothers and Earthquake splashes Typhoon into them. Earthquake and Blake fight to the floor but the distraction lets Beau hit Typhoon with Genius’ scroll.

A double clothesline out of the corner gets Typhoon out of trouble but Beau manages to snapmare him down. The chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s off to Earthquake to clean house. The powerslam and elbow get two on Blake, with Beau making the save. Everything breaks down and Typhoon beats up the Genius, leaving Earthquake to get double teamed on the floor. Beau dives back in to beat the count at 7:13.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that isn’t interesting or important and then they have a bad finish on top of it. The Beverly Brothers were as mediocre of a team as you could get and they’re beating the Natural Disasters? I’m not sure I get this one but that is how Coliseum Video matches tended to go.

Mr. Perfect is still not pleased with the stamp selection but throws us to our main event.

From March 8, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Paul Bearer and Yokozuna are here too. They stare each other down for a good while before Yokozuna’s right hands don’t do much. Instead Undertaker hits a running DDT but a clothesline puts him on the floor. Undertaker goes after Fuji but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Yokozuna crushes him in the corner before dropping the big leg. The belly to belly suplex gets two so Yokozuna gets the salt bucket for the DQ at 4:08.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? They stalled a lot at the beginning and then the match itself barely breaks four minutes. I have no idea what they were thinking here as it’s more a match that annoys the fans than anything else. If you don’t want either of them taking a pin, just don’t put the match together in the first place.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Banzai Drop misses. Undertaker fights back and Yokozuna walks away.

Perfect shows his perfect stamp and it’s…a picture of him. Well of course it is.

Overall Rating: D+. I for one am shocked that the best matches on a tape from 1993 involved Bret and Shawn. What I am rather shocked about though is the fact that Skinner had the match of the tape for a good stretch. This was a pretty rough collection with absolutely nothing worth seeing. It’s definitely not a great era for the company and if this is the best they could offer, you could see why.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 28, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

It’s the last show of the month and the big story coming out of last week is Razor Ramon’s continued frustrations with the 1-2-3 Kid. Last week Ramon still couldn’t beat the Kid, who ran off with the $10,000 Ramon was putting up. Other than that, we’re coming up on the Yokozuna bodyslam challenge, which could be rather interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kamala

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending. They take their time to start with Michaels offering a handshake, which allows him to knock Kamala into the corner. Kamala doesn’t care for that and bites the finger before knocking Michaels out to the floor. Back in and Kamala charges into some raised knees in the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Kamala’s bearhug being broken up with a rake to the eyes, allowing Michaels to stomp away. Michaels avoids a charge in the corner and goes after the leg, though the Figure Four attempt is blocked. Kamala kicks him into the corner and starts chopping away, setting up the splash to the back. As usual, Kamala doesn’t quite have the pinning thing down so Diesel gets on the apron. That’s enough for Michaels to hit a superkick to the back of the head for the pin at 11;15.

Rating: C-. Michaels is an all time star but there is only so much you can do in this situation. Kamala’s good guy run was a stretch on its best day and then it was hard to make something like this work. Diesel being involved in the ending helped establish him, but the idea of Michaels needing help against Kamala is a stretch at best.

Post match Kamala goes after Michaels but Diesel makes the save.

Here are Yokozuna and company for a chat. Mr. Fuji is ready to humiliate various American athletes at the bodyslam challenge but Vince McMahon warns him that America is kind of amazing. Someone will step up and hit a home run, though Fuji doesn’t seem convinced. Yokozuna calls American athletes inferior, just like American products, so McMahon gets a USA chant going. It was weird to hear McMahon be so one sided in a story like this, but it shows how big of a villain Yokozuna really is.

Various athletes, including Tatanka, say they can slam Yokozuna.

Smoking Gunns vs. Iron Mike Sharpe/Barry Horowitz

Billy and Sharpe start things off with Billy clearing both jobbers out in a hurry. Bart comes in for a crisscross into a small package for two on Sharpe, followed by the armbar. It’s off to Horowitz, who avoids a crossbody to actually take over. A northern lights suplex doesn’t get Horowitz very far as Bart is back up for the tag off to Billy. The Sidewinder finishes Horowitz at 4:25.

Rating: C. The Gunns are only going to be able to go so far, but at the same time, the tag division isn’t exactly strong at this point so they only have to be so good. They have a time honored gimmick and the Sidewinder isn’t bad. Just let them win some matches and see where they can go from here.

We look at the 1-2-3 Kid stealing Razor Ramon’s money last week.

Here is Money Inc. for a chat, with Vince McMahon immediately mocking them for being the FORMER Tag Team Champions. IRS shrugs that off because they have a rematch clause in their contract against the Steiner Brothers. They move on to the idea of keeping your money, with Ted DiBiase mocking Razor Ramon for losing his cool, and as a result, his money, last week. Maybe Ramon can go to some stupid school like the University Of Michigan so Ramon can become the third Steiner Brother! And that’s how we’re setting up Ramon’s face turn.

Adam Bomb vs. PJ Walker

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb, who chokes Walker down to start. Naturally commentary ignores the match to talk about the bodyslam challenge, even as Bomb takes him to the floor for a hard clothesline. Back in and a top rope clothesline sets up the Atom Smasher for the pin at 2:14.

Crush vs. Bastion Booger

Heenan says Booger is related to Hilary Clinton as Crush can’t quite lift him up. Instead they go outside, with Crush not being able to ram him into the post. Booger can send him into the post though, and the steps as well. Back in and Booger grabs a bearhug but Crush powers out and manages a suplex. Some slams put Booger down, followed by a second and third for the pin at 5:37.

Rating: D+. Hey, did you know that Crush is strong and can lift large people? That was the entire point of the match and there wasn’t anything else going on, which made for a long five minutes. The match was as dull as you would expect and thankfully they did what they should have. It’s about as good as a Booger match is going to be, because, shockingly enough, he’s not very good.

Randy Savage is at Giants Stadium with a New York Giant who is ready to slam Yokozuna.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Commentary is hyped for the bodyslam challenge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The idea of this show was focusing on the upcoming bodyslam challenge, with Crush being the big name who is going to come after him. That’s a fine enough idea, but then you realize that you’re getting ready for a bodyslam challenge rather than a match. It’s only going to change so much, and it makes for some rough time on the way there, which was on display this week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 19, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

We’re still a long way away from Summerslam but Lex Luger has come up with something better than being on Raw: he’s going to be on a bus! Over the weekend, Luger announced the launch of the Lex Express as he is trying to find his way to a title shot at Summerslam. Other than that, Marty Jannetty wants the Intercontinental Title back from Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at the launch of the Lex Express, with Lex Luger saying it’s still cool to be patriotic.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending. Jannetty stops to look at Diesel and gets decked from behind. A backslide doesn’t work for Michaels and Jannetty counters a rollup by sending him to the floor. Back in and Michaels misses the superkick, which leaves him rather frustrated. A flying shoulder only hits the buckle so Jannetty starts in on the arm. Jannetty takes him down again and hits a DDT for the pin…but Michaels’ foot was on the rope.

We take a break and come back with the match continuing as Jannetty grabs a suplex for two. A backbreaker gives Jannetty two and the sleeper goes on. Michaels manages to send him outside for the break before they collide back inside. A poke to the eye staggers Jannetty again and we take another break.

We come back with Michaels grabbing a chinlock, which in this case means an arm laying over Jannetty’s chest (that looked horrible). Thankfully it’s switched to a front facelock, which goes on for a good while. That’s broken up and Jannetty counters a piledriver into a hurricanrana. Jannetty rolls through a high crossbody for two but misses a charge and crashes hard to the floor. Diesel throws him back in and Michaels retains at 21:21.

Rating: B. This was a good match, though the two of them have had some rather strong matches over the years so that isn’t a big surprise. The Rockers might not have been the best team ever but they worked well together in a variety of ways. Good stuff here, though pretty much the end of Jannetty as a serious contender for anything.

Vince McMahon brings out Money Inc. for a chat. They aren’t happy about losing the Tag Team Titles to the Steiner Brothers but they’ll get them back next week. DiBiase mocks Razor Ramon for losing to the 1-2-3 Kid and thinks Ramon could have a job working for them. Ramon comes out to say he works for no one and has no price before taking them out. DiBiase swears revenge and challenges….the 1-2-3 Kid to show Ramon how it’s done. That’s the official face turn and yeah that worked.

Men On A Mission vs. Rich Myers/Hank Harris

Oscar is here with MOM, who take over on Myers to start. The slow motion beating ensues and apparently Men On A Mission are the team of the future. No wonder the tag division was in such bad shape in the 90s. The double splash ends Harris at 1:43.

It’s the Summerslam Report, which focuses on Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler and Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez in a Rest In Peace match (as Mr. Hughes doesn’t seem to have the legs to get that far).

We look at the beginning of the Lex Express tour. It’s Lex Luger on a bus and greeting fans.

Bastion Booger vs. Scott Depres

Booger runs him over, drops a leg and hits a powerslam. The weird sitdown splash finishes at 58 seconds.

Next week: Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow II. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Here is Jerry Lawler for the King’s Court. He brings out his guest, ukulele player Tiny Tim, who is the definition of a gimmick performer, whom Lawler mocks for his weird appearance. Tim starts singing his song, Tiptoe Through The Tulips, and Lawler cuts him off after a few notes. He has a radio show in Iowa coming up but stops to note the BURGER KING chants. Tim thinks Lawler is more the DAIRY QUEEN so Lawler breaks his ukulele. In case this doesn’t mean anything to you, note that Tim’s big song was released in 1968.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Chris Duffy

Duffy takes him into the corner to start as Money Inc. comes out to watch. Kid gets hiptossed down but comes back with a kick of his own. The running legdrop (those always looked good) has Duffy in more trouble and a running clothesline drops him again. A top rope legdrop gives the Kid a win at 2:09.

Razor Ramon comes out to mock Money Inc.

Randy Savage has abducted a child to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s one match on the show and it worked rather well, which is more than enough to carry a show like this. The rest of the show was the usual collection of short matches and little else. I’m not sure what the point of the Tiny Tim thing was, but it was probably the company’s usual obsession with any celebrity status they could get. What mattered here was Michaels vs. Jannetty though, and that made up for the rest of the show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Most of the older editions are in need of an update so we’ll knock out this one. This is one of the biggest crowds in wrestling history and they’re in for a pretty major show. We have a double main event of Randy Savage defending the WWF Title against the Ultimate Warrior and the instant classic of Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog for the Intercontinental Title. Guess what’s headlining. Let’s get to it.

Nasty Boys/Mountie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

This is a bonus dark match (at least on the American broadcast, though all three on the card aired on the European broadcasts). Jimmy Hart is in the villains’ corner. The fans get their chance to boo/cheer the various teams until the villains jump them from behind. This goes as well as you would expect and the ring is cleared in a hurry. Back in and the Nasty Boys are whipped into each other in the corner, followed by some double clotheslines for a bonus.

Sags beats on Butch for a bit before everything breaks down again. The villains finally get in a cheap shot to take over on Luke and a double boot to the ribs puts him down again. The chinlock goes on and it’s back to Mountie for more stomping. Sags grabs a reverse chinlock, which draws a USA chant as the British fans cheer for a New Zealander.

There’s a knee drop as Heenan goes over the specifics for the WWF rule book (I’d pay money to see that). Luke gets a boot up to knock Sags out of the air though and it’s the hot tag to Duggan to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Mountie by mistake, allowing Duggan to get the pin at 12:34.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a case where you need to consider the spot. They weren’t going for anything important here and it wasn’t a match with any story. You had three popular wrestlers facing three villains in an easy match. The fans liked it though and that’s entirely what they were shooting for here. It would have made a fine house show opener and it worked perfectly well here.

Papa Shango vs. El Matador

Another bonus match. Shango jumps him from behind and we’re starting in a hurry. A running crossbody connects in the corner but another charge misses, allowing Matador to hit a clothesline. They head outside with Shango getting posted as Heenan thinks Matador should just give up now.

A top rope clothesline gives Matador two and there’s the flying forearm. Matador’s sleeper is broken up in a hurry and it’s time to choke in the corner. Shango drops an elbow and hits a side slam, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Another flying forearm gives Matador two but he misses a charge into the corner. The shoulder breaker finishes Matador at 6:12.

Rating: C-. Another perfectly watchable match and that’s fine for the spot they were in. Matador was always good for something like this and he could make an up and coming villain like Shango look good. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but they kept it quick and Shango didn’t quite squash him, so it worked out well enough.

Brought to you by ICO PRO. I hope they kept the receipt.

The British fans are VERY happy to have Summerslam here. This includes a kid who says that British Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Kid sounds like he has mob connections.

Bobby Heenan has a crown. My day is complete.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

Money Inc. has Jimmy Hart in their corner but the LOD comes out on their motorcycles in a pretty famous entrance. Now granted that might be because Paul Ellering is with them and he has Rocco the Dummy on the front of his bike. In one of my favorite lines ever, Vince says that the Legion of Doom are known for their psychology in the ring. The jet lag must have gotten to him. DiBiase in white trunks still feels wrong but it isn’t as evil as I remember.

Hawk threatens him to the floor to start and then clotheslines him outside again, this time for another clothesline from Animal. It’s off to Animal for a powerslam and Hawk comes back in with a top rope shot to the arm. Now the fact that Hawk looks like he’s somewhere around Saturn makes that one a little more impressive than it sounds. IRS grabs a sleeper on Hawk but it’s broken up with a drive into the corner. The top rope clothesline misses though and Hawk falls all the way out to the floor. That’s quite the flying leap.

DiBiase comes in for a few shots and it’s already back to IRS for two off an elbow. The chinlock goes on and the villains make some changes without tags (they really should be setting a better example for the foreign fans). Back up and a double clothesline puts both of them down but IRS comes in to choke with the tag rope in the corner. Hawk powers over to the corner but the referee misses the tag (that nitwit).

As tends to be the case, the hot tag goes through a few seconds later and it’s Animal coming in to clean house. It’s a bunch of shoulders and clotheslines as everything breaks down. IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device so Animal goes with a powerslam to finish DiBiase (it wouldn’t surprise me if that was due to being scared of Hawk coming off the top) at 12:00.

Rating: C-. The crowd helped but you could tell that there was something off with the LOD. That being said, it isn’t exactly surprising that Hawk stayed in England and more or less ended the team for the time being. Hawk was a time bomb for a good while and as bad as things went, it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

Ric Flair isn’t happy that he isn’t getting his rematch for the WWF Title because he should be in the ring in the bright lights of London, England. Gene wants to know where Mr. Perfect, Flair’s crony, is, especially with the rumors of Perfect being in the corner of either Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. Flair says Perfect is in the dressing room. Gene: “Whose dressing room???” Flair: “The dressing room of the winner. WOO!” I’ve always liked that one.

Virgil is ready to fight Nailz to avenge his buddy the Big Boss Man. If Virgil is your the best friend you have, getting beaten half to death with a nightstick doesn’t sound too bad.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz gets a jobber entrance for some reason. Probably protecting Virgil’s star power. Nailz takes him into the corner to start and chokes a bit until Virgil hits a dropkick. That doesn’t even put Nailz down (Heenan: “He’s tough as nails!”) and it’s time for more choking. Virgil is sent outside and rammed into the apron. Back in and the standing choke finishes Virgil at 3:19.

Rating: D. This made Summerslam? It felt like something that would be a featured match on Wrestling Challenge at best and that’s hardly the kind of thing that you need to see on one of the biggest (if not the biggest) show of the year. Nothing to see here as Nailz didn’t exactly have the longest shelf life in the world.

Post match Nailz beats Virgil up even more.

Lord Alfred Hayes can’t get into Randy Savage’s dressing room but thinks Mr. Perfect is in there. He’ll keep being annoying until he finds something out.

Sherri doesn’t like the idea of Shawn Michaels and Rick Martel fighting, even though Shawn cost Martel an Intercontinental Title shot. Sherri has been with Shawn for a good while now but has been flirting with Martel. Tonight neither of them are allowed to hit each other in the face, because they’re both too handsome you see. She’ll be standing by her man, which seems to be Shawn as he calls her to go to the ring.

Rick Martel vs. Shawn Michaels

Martel is in tennis gear because it’s what models do. Sherri is with Michaels and brings out a full length mirror as Vince can’t get over the no hitting in the face thing. Vince: “This isn’t the sixth grade!” Indeed. Hitting in the face is a fourth grade thing. Vince also panics over Sherri’s outfit, which is uh, kind of incomplete in certain areas. Sherri takes some extra time disrobing Shawn because….I’m not sure really.

Feeling out process to start with Shawn trying a monkey flip, allowing Martel to cartwheel into some jumping jacks. A dropkick to the face has Sherri nervous but Martel jumps Shawn from behind. The fans seem to be behind Martel, which is rather strange to see. Martel misses a crossbody out of the corner though and the fans calm down a bit. Back up and Martel teases a right hand but stops himself and throws Shawn over the top instead. Martel takes him back inside for a backdrop and more jumping jacks but Shawn reverses an O’Connor roll for two.

After both guys pull their gear back up (with Vince and Bobby making the usual jokes), it’s Shawn getting a knee up to stop a charge in the corner. Now they trade rollups again and it’s time to get serious. They slap each other in the face, drawing Sherri to the apron for a lot of screaming….and some fainting. Shawn goes to check on her and Sherri falls out to the floor, where Martel knocks Shawn away. He gives her CPR but Shawn starts the fist fight for the double countout at 8:09, which draws Sherri back to life.

Rating: C. This was a lot different than most matches you’ll see and it worked out pretty well. It was certainly a unique way to go and given who was in there, it is hardly a surprise that they had a decent match. The Sherri stuff was interesting, though given that Shawn was supposed to headline the show, it is a bit of a downgrade.

Post match Sherri faints again so Shawn comes back to carry her away. Martel breaks that up as well, and Sherri falls down in a heap. Shawn jumps Martel again and Sherri crashes again, allowing Shawn to get her….most of the way back, until Martel finds a bucket of water and throws it on Sherri, who storms off on her own.

The Nasty Boys laugh at what happened to Sherri but are more interested in watching Savage and Warrior destroy each other. Now where is their title shot? Jimmy Hart sounds rather nervous about that question.

Tag Team Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

The Brothers are challenging and have the Genius in their corner. They jump the massive champs to start and are quickly sent into each other for a quick crash. We settle down to Typhoon missing a legdrop on Blake as everything breaks down again. Earthquake splashes typhoon in the corner by mistake, but Typhoon launches Beau to the floor on a kickout. After finding out that SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY STADIUM, the Beverly Blast keeps Typhoon in trouble.

A headbutt gets two as it’s strange to see someone this big taking a longer form beating. Typhoon drives over for the tag but of course the referee doesn’t see it. How do referees not get fired more often for being so inept? Typhoon gets in a double clothesline but Beau distracts Earthquake, allowing Blake to get in a shot with the metal scroll. Since Earthquake is about 28% smarter than anyone in the match, he decks Blake before the cover, allowing the hot tag to Typhoon. A belly to belly suplex plants Beau and a double shoulder puts the Brothers down. The powerslam sets up the Earthquake to retain at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was as good as the Natural Disasters vs. the Beverly Brothers for ten minutes was going to be. The Brothers were just such worthless goofs and no one bought them as a threat to the champs. The Disasters on the other hand actually felt like a team who could destroy almost anyone and it was going to take more than a couple of goofs like these two to beat them.

The Bushwhackers don’t know anything about a dentist selling them a London Bridge, but they are going to a meal at Buckingham Palace. Royal sardines are on the menu and they might get to sit on the throne. These two are just goofy fun, even though they outlived their usefulness.

Hayes thinks Perfect is in Ultimate Warrior’s dressing room but still can’t get in.

Crush vs. Repo Man

This was when Crush was on the verge of becoming the company’s breakout star but it never quite got there. Or anywhere close for that matter. Repo jumps him from behind to start but gets gorilla pressed without much effort. A backbreaker puts Repo on the floor and then Crush adds a one handed backbreaker just to show off.

As commentary talks about the WWF Title match coming up next (and nearly apologizing for making us wait so long), Crush misses a top rope knee. A faceplant gives Repo two but the kickout puts Repo on the floor. Back in and Repo dives into a powerslam, setting up the head vice for the win at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Another fast match that feels like a way to extend the show longer than it needs to be. That’s what happens when you have a two match card, but Crush was a popular guy at this point and it makes sense to feature him on a show like this. Repo Man was always good for a job and it was a quick enough squash that it wasn’t exactly worthless.

Gene throws us to a package on Savage vs. Warrior. The match was signed with Savage summing up the issue rather well: “I’M THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION AND YOU’RE NOT!” Then Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect made it clear that they weren’t happy with Flair not being in the title match and teased that they were working with both of them. The mind games were on hard and the question was who be joining forces with Perfect and Flair here. That’s quite the intriguing question, and a good way to go for something like this.

Heenan insists that he doesn’t know who sold out but Vince doesn’t believe him.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and there is no sign of Flair and/or Perfect. Warrior always looked really weird in that singlet. They go nose to nose to start and shove each other away as the fans are WAY into this. Warrior shoves him down without much effort but Savage is back with a pair of clotheslines for one. Savage goes up top in a hurry but gets punched out of the air just as fast. A pair of delayed atomic drops have Savage in more trouble and a clothesline gets two.

Savage isn’t having that and punches him down, setting up a quickly broken sleeper. Warrior unloads with right hands in the corner and stomps Savage down, followed by another hard clothesline. A pull of the tights sends Warrior into the buckle though and a clothesline puts Warrior on the floor. The fans don’t like that one but Savage doesn’t seem to mind.

Back in and a pair of top rope ax handles to Warrior’s head gets two but the third is pulled out of the air for a backbreaker. The hard whips into the corner set up a bearhug for all of two seconds. Savage gets two off a small package and a swinging neckbreaker gives him a breather. Savage’s back gives out on a suplex attempt and even Warrior is smart enough to know what to do here.

A suplex makes the back worse and gets another two as they’re a little more spent than they should be after less than thirteen minutes. Warrior misses a clothesline and gets low bridged to the floor, allowing Savage to hit a top rope ax handle. There’s a ram into the steps and another into the post but Savage can’t hit a piledriver back inside.

Cue Perfect and Flair as NOW things are going to get interesting. Warrior hits a slam to damage the back again, but the splash hits knees. There’s the required double clothesline and they’re both down again. Savage is up first and glares down at Perfect and Flair, allowing Warrior to lift him up for some choking. The ref gets bumped (SHOCKING!) and it’s Warrior going up for his own ax handle.

That’s good for a very delayed two and Warrior is annoyed at the count. Warrior getting annoyed at things isn’t exactly surprising. Savage hits a piledriver but has to get the referee off the floor. During the delay, which takes quite a bit of time, Perfect comes in and holds Warrior for an illegal object shot from Flair. Somehow Savage doesn’t see that and hits the elbow, but the referee is STILL groggy so the two is delayed again. Sweet goodness get tougher referees.

Warrior starts shaking the ropes and Heenan knows what that means for Savage. There’s the flying shoulder but Perfect distracts the referee, allowing Flair to hit Warrior in the back with a chair. Savage gets that something is up and doesn’t want it that way so he kicks at Perfect. He goes up anyway and then dives at Flair, who uses the chair to blast Savage’s knee, which is enough for the countout at 26:16.

Rating: B+. This was like an amazing setup to a joke but then they forgot the punchline at the end. Allegedly the original plan called for Warrior to turn but he wouldn’t go for it, which I can understand in a way. What we got was really good, though the ending was lacking just enough to pull things down. Flair and Perfect offered some great drama though, and that’s most of what they needed to do.

Post match Flair and Perfect stay on Savage’s knee, including the Figure Four. Warrior makes the save with the chair. Warrior helps Savage up and everything is cool. The knee injury would wind up costing Savage the title, with Flair winning it a few days later.

Perfect and Flair have a plan B and they’ll get the title back.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Dr. Harvey Wippleman introduces Kamala, who also has Kim Cheer with him. The double manager thing is completely outclassed by Paul Bearer, who leads a hearse with Undertaker standing in the back to the ring. Not quite as awesome as some he would hit later, but good for early Undertaker. We get a little change of pace here as Undertaker chokes him into the corner to start and hits Old School (assuming it’s old less than two years into his run).

Another attempt is broken up thanks to a Wippleman distraction and Kamala clotheslines him to the floor, with undertaker landing on his feet. A ram into the steps doesn’t do much damage so it’s back inside for more chopping. Undertaker is fine enough for a chokeslam, but Kim Chee comes in with the pith helmet (get a chair dude) for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: D-. I’m thinking this got cut short on time or something because what in the world is the point of a big entrance like that for a three and a half minute match? Then again, was anyone buying Kamala as a major threat? Maybe back in 1986 but against Undertaker? It really was a weird time for Undertaker as he was one of the bigger stars around but there was no one for him to fight. That would wind up being the case for years until Mankind showed up in 1996 as a totally different kind of threat.

Post match Kamala hits a bunch of splashes, including one from the top. Undertaker sits up anyway. But yeah, Kamala was a total threat here.

British Bulldog is ready to fight for the title, even though he is worried about what the whole ordeal has done to his family. He hopes the families reunite after the match, but it’s a dream to be here with no pressure.

Bret Hart knows how to wrestle under pressure and wants Bulldog to look him in the face and say he doesn’t know him. Bulldog doesn’t seem to remember Bret introducing him to his sister. Maybe Bulldog’s dream will wind up being a nightmare.

A Scottish band called the Balboa Highlanders performs Scotland the Brave and here’s Roddy Piper to play with them in a surprise cameo. Heenan is disappointed with the lack of break dancing.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Final bonus match and Berzerker has Mr. Fuji with him. They go with the test of strength to start and Tatanka shoves him over the top in a surprise power display. Back in and they chop it out until Berzerker misses a dropkick. Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner though and Berzerker grabs a World’s Strongest Slam.

They head outside with Tatanka being slammed on the floor and it’s back inside. Make that outside again as Tatanka clotheslines him over the top and hits his own slam on the floor. Serves the Minnesota viking (….hey) right. Back in and some chops set up a top rope chop into the Papoose To Go to finish Berzerker at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This was the weakest of the three bonus matches and I can see why it was cut from the pay per view. Granted they probably needed something for some breathing room between the show’s three big matches. These two were as stereotypical as you could get, but they weren’t out there long and the ending was clean so it’s hard to complain that much.

Sean Mooney talks to Diana Smith at ringside and she sounds as emotional as….I’ve heard more intense grilled cheese orders. She wants everything to work out but she’s on the front line with both her brother and husband.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

Bret is defending and you might have heard of this one before. Bulldog has British boxing champion Lennox Lewis carrying the flag to the ring. Bret gets quite the reaction as well but I think you know who the face is here. The bell rings and after the handing out of the sunglasses, we’re ready to go. They go nose to nose to start and Bret shoves him away, so Bulldog shoves him a little bit harder. A hard shoulder puts Bret on the floor and it’s time to rethink things a bit.

Back in and Bret headlock takeovers him down before hitting an uppercut (Heenan: “Right in the old fish and chips.”). Bulldog reverses an armbar into one of his own and then catapults Bret face first into the corner. A lifting armbar doesn’t quite work so it’s a crucifix for two on Hart instead. We’re right back to the armbar as Heenan does his old “the crowd is so loud I can’t hear commentary” deal.

Back up and Bret knees him in the ribs, much to the fans’ disapproval. The chinlock doesn’t last long either so Bret hits a backbreaker and grabs it again. That’s broken up and Bulldog hits a monkey flip, only to charge into a boot in the corner. The bulldog hits the Bulldog and Bret goes up, earning himself a slam back down (How do you make that mistake on a show with Flair?). Bret sends him outside and hits a slingshot dive, landing on a completely unprepared Bulldog, nearly breaking his back in the process.

The Russian legsweep gives Bret two and he hammers away with right hands. We’re back to the chinlock (with Bret’s back to the camera, showing he doesn’t understand wrestling), followed by the snap suplex and another chinlock. Bulldog grabs a quick backslide for two in the hope spot but Bret is right back with the middle rope elbow. We’re back to the chinlock, which is switched into a sleeper to put Bulldog in even more trouble. Bulldog grabs the rope and Bret grabs the sleeper again as things go right back down.

That’s broken up and they slug it out, with Bulldog trying a gorilla press and dropping Bret HARD onto the ropes for a scary crash. Three clotheslines give Bulldog two and it’s a gorilla press into the delayed suplex for the same. Bret is back with a German suplex for the same, as Bobby insists that Ric Flair could kick out of all of this of course.

Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a top rope superplex (without much elevation, which isn’t a good thing) for the next near fall. There’s a double clothesline and they’re both down, but Bret ties the legs together into the Sharpshooter (always cool). The rope is grabbed so Bret tries a sunset flip, only to have Bulldog sit down on it for the pin, the title, and one of the all time loud roars at 25:14.

Rating: A+. Yeah what else is there to say here? It’s a masterpiece, and mainly because of Hart. Bulldog was infamously out of it throughout the match and had to be told what to do every step of the way. It is an amazing match and probably Bret’s all time performance, which is probably why he was WWF Champion before the end of the year. Great stuff here and I’m sure you know that already.

Post match Bret isn’t happy but eventually shakes his hand. Diana comes in to join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s a lot of bad on the show but the bad matches are mostly short and the two great ones are both rather long. Those are more than enough to carry the show and the huge atmosphere are more than enough to carry to a high level. It’s an excellent show and easily the biggest Summerslam ever. Now go back to England again for another big pay per view already. It’s not like it’s hard to make it work these days.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: C-

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

2013 Redo: F

2020 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2020 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B

Close enough.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlefest 1992
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes,
Hosts: Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan

This is another Coliseum Video in a series that ran for a few years. That being said, it isn’t like there is much of a theme to the thing, which was hardly a surprise given how many recurring titles you would see on WWF home video. This is an interesting time for the company as Hulk Hogan is mostly gone and we’re off to people like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels so let’s get to it.

Okerlund and Heenan are playing tennis, with Heenan thinking it’s table tennis. Heenan is off to find the rules so let’s go to our first match.

From New York City, New York, March 23, 1992.

Virgil vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri is with Michaels as Mooney says Virgil is “one of the most popular figures the World Wrestling Federation has ever known.” I have to say this a lot about Mooney, but LIAR. Virgil has his nose guard on, which felt like it was around for a good while. We stall for a good bit before the bell until Sherri heads outside and…I don’t think we ever had a bell at all.

Michaels takes him into the corner and punches the nose guard, which goes as well as you would expect. Virgil chases him to the floor as Hayes wants Virgil to have to remove the mask. Back in and Virgil grabs a headlock as commentary explains Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon (who broadcast this on the MSG Network) as being there for an armed forces broadcast. Eh I’ve heard worse excuses. Michaels fights out but gets a bit too cocky, meaning the headlock can go on again.

Back up and Michaels avoids a charge to send Virgil crashing out to the floor so we can have a quick breather. Virgil gets back in so Sherri offers a distraction, allowing Michaels to raise the mask for a shot to the bad nose. The chinlock goes on for a big until Virgil fights up, only to be sent into the buckle. A backslide gives Virgil two but Michaels drops him with a clothesline for the same.

Michaels sends him face first into the buckle, knocking the mask off and leaving Virgil looking like he had been stabbed. The referee even puts the mask back on and Virgil hits a faceplant, setting up an atomic drop to send Michaels into the corner. Virgil makes the comeback with clotheslines and a dropkick before sending Michaels hard into the corner. A running knee misses for Virgil though and Michaels hits the teardrop suplex for the pin at 12:14.

Rating: C. Virgil was trying and he could have been worse, but he is one of the most “he exists” wrestlers I’ve ever seen. There is nothing to him that makes him stand out in any way and that was the problem here. It was the most generic offense and Michaels put him away without much trouble. Just as it should have been.

From Toledo, Ohio, April 7, 1992.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Bushwhackers

Money Inc., with Jimmy Hart, is defending (in case you were very confused). The champs jump them from behind to interrupt the pre-match whacking and the Bushwhackers collide for a double knockdown. Back up and they send Money Inc. together, setting up a double bite. Some clotheslines send Money Inc. outside and it’s time for a breather.

We settle down to DiBiase knocking Butch down and choking away as commentary talks about Money Inc. walking out on their title match at Wrestlemania. Butch manages a bulldog for a needed breather and the champions are rammed together. Back to back Battering Rams send DiBiase and IRS outside and it’s time to whack around the ring even more.

DiBiase comes back in to choke Luke on the ropes and we get some non-tag exchanges. IRS grabs his required abdominal stretch before it’s off to DiBiase for one of his own. It’s back to IRS for the chinlock but DiBiase comes back in and gets kicked in the face. Butch gets the tag to clean house but Hart offers a distraction, allowing IRS to knee Butch down and retain at 8:32.

Rating: C+. This was a fine way for the champions to get in a title defense as they get to beat a fun team in the Bushwhackers. As a bonus, it always helps to have challengers who aren’t going to be hurt by a loss like this. Money Inc. was a good choice for the titles as they worked well together and it was easy to boo them so things were looking decent enough for the titles’ future around this time.

Okerlund tries to explain the art of the serve to Heenan, with Heenan having drinks instead of practicing.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 10, 1992.

Rick Martel vs. British Bulldog

This could be interesting. Martel starts fast by sending him into the corner and then flipping into some jumping jacks. Bulldog grabs a headlock to grind away a bit before working on the arm as well. Martel misses a charge into the buckle and gets armbarred, followed by a more basic style of cranking.

Back up and Martel manages to send him outside for some ax handles to the back to take over. Some knees to the back and some choking oddly wake Bulldog up, only for him to charge into Martel’s raised knee. Bulldog hits some running clotheslines to send Martel outside and it’s a sunset flip to give Bulldog the pin back inside at 5:22.

Rating: C. Well “could be” was right because it certainly wasn’t. Martel was starting to get a bit of something going and then it just wrapped up. Bulldog was getting geared up for something bigger in the coming months (to put it mildly) but this wasn’t much of a first step there. Give them some time and have Bulldog more motivated and this could have worked, but they didn’t have much of a chance.

Bret Hart talks about some of his bigger matches and how he always gives it his all. This includes winning the Intercontinental Title for the first time by defeating Mr. Perfect at Summerslam 1991, retaining over Skinner at This Tuesday In Texas and…apparently that’s all!

From Springfield, Massachusetts, November 12, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is defending but Barbarian steals the title and poses with it while Hart gives his glasses to a fan. We get going with Barbarian driving him into the corner and then hitting a shoulder out to the floor. Back in and Hart avoids an elbow and starts in on Barbarian’s arm. That’s broken up and Barbarian takes him outside for some rams into the post.

Back in and Hart is sent chest first into the buckle, followed by the bearhug that you get in every Barbarian match. With that broken up, Hart gets a boot up in the corner and it’s a running clothesline to drop Barbarian for two. The middle rope elbow and Russian legsweep get two, with the kickout sending Hart outside. Back in and a suplex gives Barbarian two so he tries it again, only to be reversed into a small package to retain Hart’s title at 12:24.

Rating: C+. The more I see from Barbarian, the more I appreciate someone like him. He’s a great example of someone who is going to do his thing and do it in a certain way, but he makes it work every single time. That’s the kind of thing that will always work in wrestling and it worked again here, albeit with an all time master like Hart.

Heenan can’t return serves from Monica Seles’ sister’s best friend’s partner (or something like that). He threatens to choke her.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 10, 1992.

Nasty Boys vs. Natural Disasters

Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys. The Disasters chase them to the floor to start before Typhoon sends Sags into the corner for an early splash. Earthquake comes in to run Knobbs over without much effort and an elbow to the back makes it worse. Sags gets in a cheap shot from the apron though as commentary bickers about which team they like more. Earthquake easily slugs his way out of trouble but Sags is right there to prevent the tag. Earthquake grabs a bearhug on Sags and Typhoon comes in for a double standing splash. With Typhoon cutting Hart off, Earthquake drops an elbow for the pin at 6:31.

Rating: C. The Disasters are a good example of an idea that made sense but only worked so well in practice. The issue is really simple: only a handful of teams can do much with them, which made for some not so great matches. While the Nastys can do a heck of a brawl if given the case, this was more of a standard match and that’s not playing to either team’s strength.

From Kalamazoo, Michigan, April 8, 1992.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. IRS

IRS, with Jimmy Hart, is challenging and stalls on the floor for a good while to start. Once inside Savage grabs a headlock and we immediately stall some more, this time with Savage going after Hart. Back in and Savage hits some running clotheslines to send IRS outside. IRS gets back inside and is atomic dropped to the floor, so Savage goes outside to prevent more boredom.

The top rope ax handle gives Savage two back inside but Hart offers a distraction, allowing IRS to knee Savage in the back. Savage gets thrown outside this time as this is getting rather repetitive. Back in and IRS grabs the abdominal stretch, followed by a chinlock as this isn’t exactly shaking his reputation for being boring (or sweaty).

Savage fights up and grabs him by the tie so Hart comes up with the briefcase. IRS’ charge hits said briefcase and after decking Hart, Savage drops the big elbow for the pin at 11:16. Mooney: “And a clean victory here for the WWF Champion!” After IRS was RAMMED INTO A METAL BRIEFCASE, once again proving that Mooney is a LIAR!”

Rating: C-. Again, IRS is someone who could be put out there to give Savage an easy win, but dang it would be nice if he could do something even slightly interesting. IRS could wrestle a perfectly competent style, but his offense was straight out of the 70s and it showed badly. Also, even though IRS is a champion, Savage couldn’t just get a clean win here?

Mr. Fuji and the Berzerker explain how to throw a party. Berzerker recommends kidnapping to get guests, and a lot of “little gimmicks” like those streamers that you blow to make them roll out, and finger sandwiches, decorated with fingers. This was oddly funny as Berzerker has a weird charisma to him.

From Kalamazoo, Michigan, April 8, 1992.

Tito Santana vs. Repo Man

Santana knocks him into the corner to start but Repo takes him into another corner. Repo’s arm work doesn’t work so Santana pulls him down into an armbar. A crossbody gives Santana two and the armbar goes on again. Repo comes back with a clothesline for two and he pulls Santana into something like a cross armbreaker. That’s broken up and Repo hits another clothesline, only for Santana to hit one of his own. Repo gets knocked off the apron so he grabs the grappling hook. A shot to the ribs is enough to draw the DQ at 7:33.

Rating: C. Yes, we really are going with the guy who repossesses things over the bullf…ok maybe it isn’t as crazy as it sounds. This was not the strongest time when it came to midcard gimmicks and there is a reason it took so long to turn things around. Both guys are talented, but this was a bit too goofy to really work.

Post match Santana gets posted and choked with the hook, leaving him frothing at the mouth.

From Niagara Falls, New York, April 28, 1992.

Nasty Boys/Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters/Legion Of Doom

Dang this tape loves Money Inc. and Jimmy Hart is here with the villains while Paul Ellering is with the good guys. DiBiase and Hawk start things off with DiBiase actually taking over in the corner. Everything breaks down in a hurry though and Hart’s guys need a meeting on the floor. Back in and it’s IRS coming in to face Hawk, who connects with a big boot.

DiBiase offers a distraction though and IRS gets in his trusty knee to the back. Hawk gets pulled into the wrong corner, with Animal’s attempt at a save causing Hawk to get choked even more. Hawk fights up and hits a clothesline to put IRS down, followed by a double version with DiBiase. That’s enough for the tag off to Animal, who fires off a dropkick as everything breaks down. Earthquake sits on Sags for the pin at 7:59.

Rating: C. As usual, there is only so much that can be done in this situation with so many people in there and so little time. The ending was kind of amusing with Earthquake just sitting on him for the win, but that was about it. The Legion Of Doom never got to do much either, which sums up a lot of their problems in the WWF in the first place.

Post match Ellering decks Hart for a funny moment.

Okerlund explains the appeal of being a gracious winner and then Heenan crotches himself trying to jump over the net. Some fans pop up to meet Okerlund, who wraps it up to end the tape.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this didn’t work, with nothing standing out in the slightest. It was a bunch of people just having matches, none of which were remotely memorable. On top of that, I was sick of seeing Money Inc. by the end and that shouldn’t be the case with someone as good as DiBiase. The Heenan/Okerlund stuff was really weak too and that took away one of the best parts of these things. Not their best effort here, with the Bushwhackers and Barbarian having the best match, plus that oddly funny Berzerker segment being the highlights.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Superstars
Date: May 30, 1992
Location: War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

This was thrown up on the WWE Vault and I could go for something from a different era. We’re done with Wrestlemania VIII and since it’s 1992, there is no pay per view for about three months. That means we could be in for a nice variety of things on this show and that is what I’m wanting to see. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Perfect talk about Papa Shango making black goo come down the Ultimate Warrior’s head last week. Since it’s National Dairy Month, Perfect turns this into some weird spoiled milk analogy and it really doesn’t work.

We run down this week’s card.

Legion Of Doom vs. Rich Mitchell/Kato

Animal backs Kato into the corner to start and leapfrogs over him, setting up a powerbomb. Vince talks about how the LOD gets their strength from ICO-PRO, promising to tell us about it more in the future. Kato gets dropped on the floor as we get an inset promo from the Beverly Brothers/The Genius, calling the LOD a bunch of sissies. The Doomsday Device finishes Mitchell at 1:48.

We go to UPDATE, presented by WBF Magazine. Gene Okerlund talks about the hold that Papa Shango has over the Ultimate Warrior and we get a look at Shango cursing him and causing him to have a bad stomach ache. Then Warrior vomited in the locker room. The next week, Warrior said the voodoo would be conquered…and black goo to come out of Warrior’s head. Ignore the jacket that Warrior has never worn before when this bad thing happens to him.

Papa Shango vs. Brian Brieger

Hold on though as Shango issues another curse, which causes the lights go to out…and lights Brieger’s boots on fire (with Brieger being knocked out as a result). Then goo comes out of his head. No match, due to goo and fire.

EVENT CENTER!

Tatanka is angry at Rick Martel for spraying Arrogance in his face and stealing his feather. Those were passed down to him and Martel is PUTTING THEM IN HIS HAT? That will not stand and Tatanka swears vengeance.

Repo Man talks about how hard it is to repossess cars because people don’t want him to take them. That’s why he takes them at night because it’s so much easier! He doesn’t like the British Bulldog either and threatens to choke him for barking too much. Well that’s violent.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Bob Bradley

Commentary talks about the WBF as Bradley pokes him in the eyes to start. Slaughter shrugs that off and knocks him to the apron for an elbow. We get an insert promo from the Mountie, who promises to shock Slaughter. Some choking on the ropes sets up the cobra clutch to finish for Slaughter at 1:45.

We get an add for the WBF Championships, with Vince promising “prime beef.”

Rick Martel vs. Jim Powers

Martel cartwheels away from the threat of a monkey flip to start before we go to a Martel insert promo. As Martel promises to send “Buffalo Breath” onto the Trail Of Tears, Powers takes him down with some clotheslines. Powers armdrags him into an armbar for a bit before grabbing a sunset flip for two. Martel fights up without much trouble and puts on the Boston Crab for the win at 1:52.

Post match Martel sprays the feathers with Arrogance for good measure.

EVENT CENTER! AGAIN!

The Nasty Boys don’t like high fliers like High Energy.

Paul Bearer, with Undertaker, is ready to deal with the Berzerker. Undertaker: “Rest in H***.” Well that was intense.

Watch the Crunch Classic! If I remember right, that’s a bad idea.

Natural Disasters vs. Duane Gill/Mike Fury

The Disasters waste no time in clearing the ring as we get an insert promo from Money Inc., who don’t like the Disasters very much. Earthquake elbows Fury and the double splash in the corner makes it worse. Gill tries to make a save and Vince is amazed at the stupidity. Earthquake’s powerslam sets up the Earthquake, followed by Typhoon’s splash to finish Fury at 2:54.

Big Boss Man vs. Dave Roulette

Boss Man has been dealing with someone with a mysterious voice who has been rather threatening. An elbow to the face and the wind up uppercut have Roulette (great name) in trouble and the Boss Man Slam finishes at 1:05.

Post match Boss Man slaps him around a bit…and here is a man in a prison uniform through the crowd to hit Boss Man with the nightstick. Some knees to the head rock Boss Man and he gets handcuffed to the top rope. More nightstick shots and some kicks to the back have him in trouble as Vince is wondering where the referees are for the save. He is at least nice enough to uncuff Boss Man, only to cuff his hands behind his back and hit Boss Man in the face a few times.

This goes on for a long time until the prison guy walks out through the crowd. Boss Man is taken out on a stretcher and Mr. Perfect is VERY happy. To be fair, Boss Man does have a history of beating on people he’s handcuffed (it was his entire thing as a heel) so Vince screaming “OF COURSE HE DIDN’T DO THAT” is nonsense.

Berzerker vs. Glen Ruth

Mr. Fuji is here with Berzerker and Ruth is better known as Headbanger Thrasher (though you would never recognize him). Berzerker boots him in the face before the bell and hammers away before dropping a knee. That works so well that he drops a leg for a bonus and HUSSes a lot. Commentary completely ignores the match to talk about the Big Boss Man, even as Berzerker ties him in the ropes for some running boots. Berzerker tosses him over the top and gets the countout at 1:57 as Vince is wondering what has happened to scientific wrestling.

Crush is in a junkyard and is ready to crush various people.

EVENT CENTER! THE THIRD!

Sgt. Slaughter is NOT the Mountie because he doesn’t like the Mountie. The reality is Mountie should have been playing Taps for Slaughter, who promises to make Mountie snap, crackle and pop.

Bret Hart is ready to face anyone for the Intercontinental Title, including Shawn Michaels.

We preview next week’s show to wrap this one up.

Overall Rating: C+. While I had fun with the show just for the sake of the flashback, there was only so much to be seen here. This was quite the slow period for the company as they were trying to find the new generation but it wasn’t there yet. You could see that with a focus on people like the Big Boss Man and Sgt. Slaughter in a fairly prominent feud, plus the biggest name being a quick cameo from Hart at the end. It wasn’t exactly an eventful show, but it was nice to take a quick look back at a different era.

Results
Legion Of Doom b. Rich Mitchell/Kato – Doomsday Device to Mitchell
Sgt. Slaughter b. Bob Bradley – Cobra clutch
Rick Martel b. Jim Powers – Boston crab
Natural Disasters b. Duane Gil/Mike Fury – Splash to Fury
Big Boss Man b. Dave Roulette – Boss Man Slam
Berzerker b. Glen Ruth via countout

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

With Wrestlemania XLI in Las Vegas (or really close to it), WWE is looking back at this show in ways that have never been done before. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some new appreciation for the show, as it’s not like anyone has ever really appreciated it before. It’s a double main event, though neither match is overly exciting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the location more than anything else, with Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the side of a casino.

Host Gorilla Monsoon introduces the newest WWF broadcaster: Jim Ross, who is rather impressed by some of the Roman set. Or he hates it. You never can tell with Ross. Either way, he hypes up the double main event and it still sounds wrong to hear Ross talk about Hulk Hogan.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra, who come in on an elephant. After they do nothing (though the elephant does stand on its hind legs), Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan with some vestal virgins. Then Bobby Heenan, who was supposed to be on the sedan, comes out (backwards) on a camel. Naturally Heenan makes this work, because he can make just about anything work.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Luna Vachon, is defending after Tatanka, with Sherri (Shawn’s former manager) beat him a few times in non-title matches. Heenan says Sherri won’t be here in Tatanka’s corner. Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” They take their time to get going before Michael’s single leg doesn’t exactly work. Tatanka comes back up with a hammerlock but has to power out of a top wristlock.

A headlock takeover out of the corner gives Michaels two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a belly to back suplex. Michaels goes up but gets armdragged out of the air (cool), setting up a Flair Flip in the corner. Back in and Tatanka starts in on the arm with an armbar as commentary is thankfully right there to tell us about Michaels having a bad shoulder recently.

Michaels fights up but misses a charge into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker but Tatanka drops an elbow instead of covering (Savage is not pleased with the lack of a cover). A top rope chop hits Michaels so Tatanka goes up again, only to dive into the superkick for a sweet counter. They go outside where Michaels hits a hard clothesline off the apron, allowing him to flirt with Sherri for a bit.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some rapid fire lefts in the corner. For some reason Michaels climbs onto Tatanka’s shoulders and that’s good for an electric chair. Back up and the superkick is blocked, allowing Tatanka to fire off some chops. Even Heenan is getting on Tatanka for not covering so a high crossbody gives Tatanka two.

Michaels gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up but gets powerslammed out of the air for a big crash. They fight to the floor, where Michaels misses a dive off the apron for a nasty crash. That doesn’t work for Michaels, who pulls the referee out to break up the countout, which is a DQ at 18:23.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end as they were just trading big shots. Tatanka was staying a step or two ahead of Michaels the whole way and if Michaels wasn’t such a big deal at this point, changing the title would not have been crazy. That being said, Michaels was clearly the prospect of the future here and protecting him made sense. Good opener here, which doesn’t feel nearly that long.

Post match Tatanka celebrates but Vachon jumps Sherri, leaving Tatanka to chase her off.

The Steiner Brothers are ready to face the Headshrinkers in their first Wrestlemania.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. JR debuts the term “slobberknocker”, which has Heenan right there with the jokes. Scott armdrags Fatu to start and goes after the armbar. Fatu isn’t having that and they slug it out, which is of course fine with Scott. A clothesline turns Fatu inside out so he goes to the eyes to cut Scott off. Rick tries to cut off some double teaming but gets dropped with a single right hand in something you don’t see very often.

The Headshrinkers make the mistake of turning their backs on the Steiners, who go up top (same buckle) and come off with a double Steiner Line (that was awesome). Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri in the First Aid station as it’s off to Rick, who gets chopped down by Samu. Scott comes back in and starts slugging away but gets caught in a hot shot, which goes a bit too hard and he crashes out to the floor.

Afa BLASTS Scott with his stick and they go back inside, where Fatu hits a middle rope headbutt. Something like a bulldog puts Scott down again, as does a standing dropkick from Samu. A Demolition Decapitator (minus the rope walk) gets two but Fatu misses a top rope headbutt. It’s back to Rick, who is taken down with a double Stroke. An electric chair is loaded up but Rick powerslams Fatu out of the air (GEEZ) for two in an awesome looking counter. Scott is back in with a belly to belly but Samu snaps off a great looking superkick. Back up and a quick Frankensteiner gives Scott the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. The more I watch this match, the more I like it, as you had four big, strong guys just laying it in over and over. They were absolutely beating the fire out of each other and it’s awesome throughout. That powerslam out of the air was great and I wanted to see them stay at it. Heck of a match here and we can call this an underrated gem.

Doink is thrilled with how well his “pranks” have been received, including ripping his ‘own arm out of its socket”, because only Randy Savage got the idea of a cast. Today he’s facing Crush, who might be….seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Doink wastes no time in spraying his flower at Crush to start, earning himself a slam on the floor. Crush posts him hard and they head inside for the first time, where Doink is whipped hard into the corner. Some shots from Doink just make Crush madder and they head back inside for a jumping necksnap over the top (Savage says “love it, love it, love it” over seeing one of his old moves).

Something close to a Stunner over the top staggers Crush though and Doink adds a top rope shot to the back. That works so well that Doink adds a middle rope version, plus another top rope shot to finally put Crush down. Another posting has Crush in more trouble but he powerslams Doink out of the air for quite the crash. A running clothesline sends Doink outside and it’s time to crawl underneath the ring.

That’s broken up so Crush teases the Head Vice, but the referee gets bumped. JR: “I’m concerned about the official who is lying there motionless.” Savage: “No he’s just out cold”. The Head Vice goes on and Doink is in trouble…but here is another Doink to hit Crush in the back with the cast. Two cast shots to the head knock Crush silly and we get a double vision deal. The original Doink gets the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly great but it did have a clever ending. The original Doink was a rather interesting idea and could have gone a long way before he went on with the stupid comedy stuff. This should have told you that Crush wasn’t likely going anywhere as losing, even via a screwy finish, in this spot isn’t a good sign.

Post match another referee comes out to check under the ring for the other Doink but they can’t find him.

Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers, who like Yokozuna.

Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Backlund offers a handshake to start but gets a toothpick thrown in his face instead. Ramon shoves him into the corner without much trouble but Backlund sweeps the leg a few times and bounces back and forth like Brock Lesnar would later do. Ramon goes with the power take over as we hear about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart earlier today. Backlund shrugs it off and hits a hiptoss, followed by a missed dropkick. A butterfly suplex drops Ramon and an atomic drop does the same, only for Ramon to small package him for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This felt way out of place, as Ramon went from challenging for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble to whatever this was supposed to be. I’m not sure why this was on the card but it’s one of the more bizarre matches you will ever see at Wrestlemania. At least it was short, but egads this did not feel like it belonged on Wrestlemania.

Money Inc. doesn’t seem worried about the Mega Maniacs. We look back at Money Inc. smashing Brutus Beefcake’s face with their briefcase, which got Jimmy Hart on Beefcake’s side. It also brought Hulk Hogan back to the WWF, but Money Inc. still isn’t worried.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

The Maniacs, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging and Hogan is sporting a REALLY nasty black eye (apparently from a Jetski accident but also possibly due to a backstage fight with Randy Savage, depending on which story you believe). The villains try to jump the Maniacs before the bell and are cleared out while Hogan’s music is still playing. Money Inc. is chased to the floor again and we finally start with Beefcake and IRS.

Beefcake gets taken into the wrong corner for some chops and DiBiase comes in for an elbow to the (masked) face. For some reason DiBiase goes for a shot to the face and hurts his own hand, setting up a double noggin knocker to bring us back to the 80s. DiBiase’s ram into the buckle has no effect either and Beefcake sends him into the corner over and over for some more success.

Hogan comes in for a few shots but it’s already back to Beefcake for the stomping. Hogan’s middle rope ax handle connects and DiBiase is sent outside. A poke to the eye cuts IRS off and Hogan sends him outside like a hero should be doing. Money Inc. teases leaving but are threatened with losing the titles if they don’t get back in. That means an eight count, sending Heenan into a rant about the rules being made up as they go.

Back in and DiBiase takes over on Hogan, with the champs getting in a variety of choking on the ropes. We hit the Million Dollar Dream and Hogan stays in it so long that he should be legally dead. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafters! But they don’t have rafters in the Roman Coliseum. What they have are columns and they’re hanging from them!” Hogan fights up so Beefcake comes in (no tag) and puts the sleeper on DiBiase, leaving him out cold as well. They both beat the ten count and Beefcake comes back in to clean house, only for DiBiase to hit him in the back with the briefcase.

DiBiase finally goes after the mask and gets it off, meaning Beefcake’s face is sent into a raised boot in the corner. Beefcake fights up and drops IRS but the referee gets bumped. The double tag (unseen by the referee) brings in Hogan and DiBiase with the former slugging away.

The big boot hits DiBiase and Beefcake hits IRS with the mask. We get a double cover so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out (it has black and white stripes) to count the double pin. Ever the morons, Hogan and Beefcake celebrate with the titles (Hogan slips on the ropes) and even Savage doesn’t think this makes sense. Another referee comes out to disqualify the Maniacs at 18:28.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what makes good guys in wrestling so dumb but my goodness this was stupid even by wrestlers’ standards. It might have come after being so bored by the match, which was just WAY too long and nothing worth seeing. Hogan being in a tag team doesn’t feel important in the slightest and Beefcake felt like a relic of the past here. Just dull stuff here and a pretty lame flop of a match.

Post match the Maniacs are annoyed at the other referee for calling the DQ and Hart throws him over the top. Hogan gets to pose while Beefcake and Hart stand around, leaving him to open the briefcase and find….a brick. And money. One of which is given to the fans. Well gee I wonder why they’re cheering Hogan here.

Singer Natalie Cole has absolutely nothing to say but the CEO of Caesars Palace is a bit happier to have the WWF here.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger and his bionic forearm. Luger calls himself a knockout artist and beyond perfection but Perfect has been hot at the tables this week. He’s ready to go deal with….the Lexissus? Perfect almost cracks up at his flub and says he’s going to go do it.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger has some rather scantily clad women with him and Savage seems interested. JR: “I’ve been to at least a dozen rodeos in Oklahoma and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that.” Heenan: “OF COURSE NOT!” The women hold up the mirrors and we’re officially ready to go. They take their time to start until Perfect hits a nice running knee lift. A shoulder puts Luger down and a running dropkick does it again, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor.

Back in and Luger slowly hammers away but Perfect takes him down and gets in the Robinsdale Crunch. The leg gets cranked on for a bit but Luger gets up and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. A backbreaker keeps Perfect down and a cradle with feet on the ropes gets two.

Luger hits a powerslam for two but Perfect’s sunset flip gets the same. Perfect catapults him head first into the buckle and slowly hammers away for two. A not so perfect missile dropkick gives Perfect two and they fight over a backslide, with Perfect’s feet touching the ropes, though the referee doesn’t see it, to give Luger the cheap pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Perfect being his usual athletic self but Luger was basically in slow motion. The Narcissist stuff never worked and that was on full display again. Perfect was doing his thing and I still really like him as a good guy, but there is only so much you can do with this kind of a situation.

Post match Perfect is furious and Luger knocks him out with the big forearm. This was possibly the long form setup for Perfect screwing Luger over the next year, which is a heck of a story if that is where they were going. Luger leaves so Perfect goes after him, shoving away Shawn Michaels in the process. Michaels jumps Perfect from behind and beats him down, setting up their Summerslam feud.

Heenan laughs about what happened to Perfect, which has Savage on his feet in anger for some reason.

Gorilla Monsoon hypes up the two remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. If that’s not enough, Undertaker comes to the ring in a funeral chariot with a vulture, because he’s that kind of awesome. They do the big staredown and Undertaker barely comes up to Gonzalez’s nose. Gonzalez shoves him down and chokes away, with Undertaker having to go to the middle rope to choke back. A low blow cuts Undertaker off but he’s right back with Old School.

Gonzalez gets in a beal to send him flying and we hit a standing chinlock. Undertaker finally fights up but gets sent outside so Gonzalez can slowly hammer away. The steps crush Undertaker again but he gets back inside, where a headbutt puts him down again. Undertaker strikes away and goes after Wippleman, who throws in a rag. Gonzalez uses said rag, which is apparently covered in ether, to knock Undertaker out for the DQ at 7:36.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was every bit as bad as you could imagine. At the end of the day, Gonzalez could not do anything in the ring to back up his presence. It’s amazing to see someone that size, but it only gets you so far when you can’t do ANYTHING once the bell rings. Throw in a stupid ending to protect Gonzalez and this was an all time terrible Wrestlemania match.

Post match Undertaker is taken out on a stretcher, with Savage implying that undertaker is dead (which….yeah kind of the point). Undertaker leaves so the fans chant for Hogan, which draws Undertaker back out to clear the ring. Cops come out to take Gonzalez away.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, which is all about Yokozuna being a total monster. Yokozuna has crushed a bunch of people with the Banzai Drop, including Hart, who did get up, though that’s not shown here due to reasons. Naturally this means we talk to Hulk Hogan, who has been firing Hart up. You really should be able to see it coming from here. Last night, some people attacked him at the gym but that’s not what matters right now. Hart is a Hulkamaniac but Hogan wants the first shot at either Hart or the (deleted Japanese slur). And that’s that.

Todd Pettingill meets some annoying fans.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging. They stare each other down to start until Hart hits a running dropkick. Some right hands in the corner don’t have much impact and Yokozuna runs him over to the floor without much trouble. Hart gets smart by tripping him down and getting the big leg tied in the ropes. Some right hands and a middle rope elbow have Yokozuna in more trouble but he’s able to get out.

One heck of a clothesline puts Hart down, setting up the big legdrop as the pace slows. A nerve hold has Hart down again but he fights up and gets a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog puts Yokozuna down for two but he’s right back with a superkick. The nerve hold goes on again but Hart avoids a splash. The Sharpshooter actually goes on (and it’s not a bad one either), only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna gets the pin and the title at 8:57.

Rating: D+. This is a similar story to the Gonzalez match, but Yokozuna is FAR better than Gonzalez could ever hope to be. That being said, Hart was still limited in what he could do, but some of the ways he was outsmarting Yokozuna did work. It’s far from a terrible match, though it’s certainly not worth a look outside of the title change.

Post match Hulk Hogan is IMMEDIATELY out there to check on Hart, prompting Fuji to issue the challenge for a title shot RIGHT NOW in an all time dumb move. Hart gives Hogan his blessing and yes we’re on.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Hogan is challenging and gets jumped at the start, so Fuji throws more salt, only to hit Yokozuna. The freedom loving referee is fine with this, allowing Hogan to hit a clothesline and drop the leg to win the title at 22 seconds.

Hogan celebrates to end the show as Heenan is losing his mind.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show deserves a lot of its reputation. There are all kinds of issues here, and one that doesn’t get addressed enough is the Roman Coliseum deal. It feels like some goofy fun idea and that doesn’t mesh with the biggest show of the year. Do this for something like Summerslam, but don’t try to make Wrestlemania into a themed show.

That’s on top of ALL the other problems, including some pretty dreadful matches and almost nothing that feels Wrestlemania worthy. Hogan coming in to steal the title and make Hart the afterthought of afterthoughts didn’t help either. This show somehow lives down to its terrible reputation and even the awesomeness that is the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers (easily the match of the night) can’t bring it up to even ok.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

It’s interesting that Hart vs. Yokozuna has been the same for all four versions but the show just is not very good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

March To Wrestlemania IX
Date: March 28, 1993
Location: Cumberland County Civic Center, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

The title kind of speaks for itself here, as we have about a week to go before Wrestlemania and this is the big final push towards the biggest event of the year. The WWF did some specials like this back in the 90s and that means we could have an interesting selection of matches on the way to Las Vegas. Let’s get to it.

We look back at the contract signing between Bret Hart and Yokozuna, with Yokozuna crushing Hart, who got up anyway to a big reaction.

Vince and Bobby run down the card in front of a green screen.

Yokozuna vs. Randy Savage

Yokozuna has Mr. Fuji with him. They take their sweet time getting going here with no contact being made in the first two minutes. Savage ducks a few lockups before getting shoved down, leaving him thinking twice about this. Yokozuna hits a running shoulder and sends Savage flying over the top in a big heap. With Vince praising Yokozuna as much as he can, Savage gets knocked down again as the USA chants are on.

Yokozuna keeps hammering away as commentary basically says Bret Hart has no chance at Wrestlemania. Savage gets in some left hands but a single chop puts him back down. The big legdrop crushes Savage but the charge in the corner misses. A top rope ax handle puts Yokozuna on one knee but Fuji shoves Savage off the top. Yokozuna grabs a belly to belly suplex for the pin at 6:37.

Rating: C+. This was designed to set up Yokozuna as the monster who is beating a former WWF Champion and that worked well. Savage’s comeback at the end was only enough to give him a sliver of hope and that’s all it needed to be. Yokozuna is the monster of monsters at this point and it’s clear that the company is entirely behind him, as they should be here.

Post match Yokozuna goes for the Banzai Drop but misses and….leaves. Well that was kind of stupid.

We look at Lex Luger’s debut at the Royal Rumble, with Bobby Heenan’s insanely over the top praise still being hilarious/uncomfortable.

Mr. Perfect vs. Skinner

Skinner jumps him to start as Heenan is VERY happy with the idea of Perfect getting beaten up. Perfect gets tossed over the top and Skinner gets in a bite on the floor. Perfect manages a posting, only for Skinner to get in a belt shot to the throat. A whipping ensues, with the referee having no issue with the foreign object. Vince goes NUTS, screaming that Heenan or Luger paid Skinner off to soften Perfect up before Wrestlemania. You know, because Skinner is a totally clean cut star otherwise.

Perfect’s eyes are raked over the top rope as Vince is AGHAST at this BLATANT RULE BREAKING! Perfect gets in a single shot though and the comeback is on, with the right hands in the corner having Skinner in more trouble. The knee lift lets Perfect choke in the ropes, where Skinner gets in an alligator claw to the face. Not that it matters as Perfect hits the PerfectPlex for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting here, with Skinner beating Perfect up until the comeback came through. It really does amaze me to see how easy Perfect can make things look out there, as it feels like he’s just waiting to turn it on and win in the end. That’s not a level of talent you see very often and it is more impressive every time.

Hulk Hogan is coming back at Wrestlemania. This was some over the top praise.

Kamala vs. Kim Chee

Before the match, Slick thanks the fans for their support for Kamala and promises that he is going to take out Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania. Not exactly as the match didn’t happen but it’s a nice sentiment. Kim Chee wants Kamala to walk back into the darkness but we cannot let that happen. Can Slick get a witness?

Anyway, Chee gets in Kamala’s face to start and seems to scare him, allowing Chee to hammer away in the corner. A slap to the face wakes Kamala up and he grabs a quickly broken bearhug. Kamala superkicks him down and the big splash, plus some coaching to turn Chee over, is enough for the pin at 2:11. That’s all it should have been.

Post match Kamala knocks him to the floor and steals the pith helmet.

We get a Wrestlemania music video in all of its 1993 glory, with various wrestlers giving some rather generic promos. That being said, this is the old Wrestlemania theme, with the OOOH OOOH, WRESTLEMANIA, PUMP IT UP PUMP IT UP (better known as Linda McMahon’s theme) so I can’t complain much. For some reason Big Boss Man, who wasn’t on Wrestlemania, gets two promos.

Vince and Bobby hype up the Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

We look back at Money Inc. attacking Brutus Beefcake, resulting in the return of Hulk Hogan to set up a match which does not feel important in the slightest despite being the second biggest match on the card. I was a huge Brutus Beefcake fan when I was a kid but this return run never worked. Much like Hogan in the early days of Raw, which never felt right.

Money Inc. vs. Reno Riggins/Jerry Sabin

Non-title and Sabin is better known as the Italian Stallion, right down to his trunks saying ITALY. The beating starts fast with DiBiase taking Sabin to the floor and hammering away. Back in and a double back elbow drops Riggins, followed by a suplex to do it again. IRS drops an elbow and the Million Dollar Dream finishes at 2:54.

Here are the Mega Maniacs (obviously in a different arena) for a chat. Hogan talks about Money Inc. hitting Beefcake in the face with the metal briefcase and he knew it was bad. He chilled, he goosebumped and he sweated from head to toe. It was so bad that he ran to the garage and got on Brutus’ motorcycle (which just happened to be there) so he could ride to Venice Beach and bury his ear in the sand. He heard (in the sand) millions of Hulkamaniacs praying for Beefcake.

Then he rode the motorcycle for seven days to New York City, where he went to the Ramada Inn and found Beefcake watching the Three Stooges with an ice pack on his nose. Beefcake talks about going to Florida with Hogan, where they dropped rockets (yes rockets) on his new metal mask and there wasn’t a scratch on it. If Hogan did one more pushup, those Pythons would explode.

Jimmy Hart recommends not investing money in Money Inc., whereas the Mega Maniacs will have new t-shirts, Nintendo games and posters. When they win the Tag Team Titles, their stock will go through the roof. Hogan says Beefcake is mad, with Beefcake saying he spent two days running up and down the aisles at K-Mart to find hair tonic. Then he went to the desert around Las Vegas, where he chopped down some cactuses (should be cacti) and mountains (no word on if it was with the edge of his hand), where he decided he’ll take Money Inc.’s hair out of their heads with his bare hands.

Hogan says he went fishing with his bare hands and caught some sharks, but they weren’t for eating. Instead, he’s filled the pool at Caesar’s Palace with salt water for the hammerhead sharks (and some mermaids). Beefcake is going to help Hogan open the sharks’ mouths so they can wrap the Tag Team Titles around their teeth.

That way, when they throw the bathing beauties and Hulkamaniacs in the pool (with the sharks), the sharks can’t hurt a hair on their chinny chin chins (of the bathing beauties you see). Hogan has two cases of suntan lotion and he wants all the female Hulkamaniacs to have an even tan from head to toe. Catchphrase and posing ensues. If you haven’t seen this promo, go find it somewhere, as the Ultimate Warrior would have thought this was totally insane. And then it just KEPT GOING as they talk for the better part of ten minutes.

We look at Tatanka pinning Shawn Michaels a few times, earning an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania.

Michaels is ready to play Tatanka like people get played in the Las Vegas casinos.

Tatanka vs. George South

Tatanka takes him down without much trouble as Heenan is insisting that Shawn Michaels is NOT in jeopardy. All this does is make me wonder how Heenan would have done as Shawn’s manager. Tatanka takes him into the corner but South gets in a few shots of his own. A ram into the buckle sends Tatanka onto the war path as Heenan rants about how he DOES NOT CARE about Sherri being at Wrestlemania. Some chops set up the Papoose To Go to finish South at 2:29.

Post match Michaels comes out to gloat so Tatanka wants to fight. Nah.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Control Center with Gene Okerlund, who feels out of place in the WWF in 1993. He hypes up the toga party (because that really was a selling point) and the double main event, with Bret Hart being tired of hearing that he has no chance. Yokozuna could lose a lot more than face at Wrestlemania.

Crush is on a boat in Hawaii and, in a rather odd accent, promises revenge on Doink at Wrestlemania. Then he dives into the water and gets some octopuses.

The Steiners are ready to beat up the Headshrinkers.

Beverly Brothers/Little Louie vs. Bushwhackers/Tiger Jackson

Jackson would go on to become Dink The Clown. After some stalling, Beau punches Luke down to start as Heenan wants to say something important. Vince asks for a drum roll before Heenan insists he will NOT be wearing a toga. Heenan: “Imagine Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. It’ll look like an unmade bed.” We get a four person bite chain until Luke threatens to beat up Louie. Instead Jackson dances and hits Louie with a dropkick.

A splash gets two, with Louie’s kickout sending Jackson into the referee’s arm. Said referee throws Jackson back onto Louie for two before they do the sequence all over again. Louie gets in a shot of his own and Butch comes in to yell at Blake but not actually hit him. Blake gets in a cheap shot and hammers away as we get a rare BUTCH chant. Butch works on the arm and we get a chase from Louie and Jackson.

Beau comes in off the top with an ax handle to take over on Luke and we get some assisted choking on the ropes. Another top rope ax handle connects and Louie gets in a slap from the apron. Luke gets over and brings in Butch to clean house, which isn’t exactly hard on the Beverly Brothers. Everything breaks down and Jackson hits a high crossbody for the pin on Louie at 9:57. Heenan: “I didn’t understand anything I just saw.”

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of that? None of these people are on Wrestlemania and they get almost ten minutes, or longer than any other match on the show. That’s such a weird way to go and it was nothing that you wouldn’t see on a house show. It felt like they had nothing else to use on the show and picked a random comedy match.

We look at Giant Gonzalez debuting and taking out the Undertaker.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here of course. Bigelow slugs away to start but Undertaker drop toeholds him down. The chase is on with Bigelow getting in a shot, only to get caught with a running DDT. Old School connects but Bigelow knocks him down again as we take a break. Back with Bigelow hammering away on the floor, giving us Undertaker’s stagger sell. A hard whip sends Undertaker knees first into the steps but he gets up.

Back in and a slam has Undertaker sitting up again, with Heenan wanting Giant Gonzalez to come out here and take care of Undertaker. Some elbows make Undertaker sit up again and Bigelow misses the top rope headbutt. The comeback is on with a chokeslam sending Bigelow outside and he walks out for the countout at 7:40.

Rating: C+. This could have been a lot worse as they had a story here with Bigelow’s big man offense not being able to keep him down. It gave you just enough drama about whether or not Bigelow could stop him before walking out. Not a great match, but it made me want to see them doing something else.

Post match Giant Gonzalez comes out for the staredown, with Undertaker slowly going towards him. Referees break it up.

Vince and Bobby (who insists he does NOT have a tail) give us a quick final Wrestlemania preview to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s a reason Wrestlemania IX is so poorly remembered and a two hour preview for the show isn’t the best thing to see. This was a way to get people hyped up for the show, but then you realize just what you’re getting into. Throw in the completely out there mixed tag and the all time weird Mega Maniacs promo and this didn’t work. The decent wrestling you get is nothing worth seeing and the whole thing is kind of a mess as a result.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is one of the weakest cards the series has ever seen. Nothing on the show feels important with the main event of Bret Hart defending the WWF World Title against Royal Rumble winner Yokozuna feeling lukewarm at best. The second biggest match is Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake challenging Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles. Like I said: not the strongest card. Let’s get to it.

Gorilla Monsoon is the host this year, meaning he’ll be on screen for less than five minutes. Like everyone else, Monsoon is in a toga because it’s a toga party. I’m still not sure who thought this was a good idea.

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Shawn is defending after winning the title in November and has Luna Vachon, a rather scary woman with several tattoos on her face, trailing behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated and Sherri follows him out but it’s not clear if they’re associated. Heenan: “She’s here to beg Shawn Michaels to take her back!” Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” Shawn goes for the leg to start but Tatanka kicks him away a few times as Heenan recaps the history here, roughly three minutes after JR did so.

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Off to an armbar from Tatanka as Shawn apparently came into this with a bad shoulder. Back up and Shawn tries a clothesline but hurts his own arm in the process and it’s right back to the armbar. A charge sends Shawn’s shoulder into the post again and we hit the third armbar in a row. There’s a shoulder breaker but Tatanka doesn’t know how to follow up (Savage: “I would have covered him right there!”) so he goes to the top and dives into a superkick (still not a finish).

Shawn throws him to the floor and hits a great looking clothesline from the apron. It’s time to focus on the women for a bit with Shawn yelling at Sherri, only to turn around and get two off a swinging neckbreaker. Things settle down with a chinlock before Shawn starts firing off left hands as the arm is suddenly fine. Shawn tries a bad looking victory roll for two before going up top again for another victory roll which is countered into an electric chair (they just repeated the spot which always exposes too much).

Tatanka goes on the warpath (his version of Hulking Up) and starts the chops, followed by a catapult into the post as Shawn is now channeling Mr. Perfect. Shawn dives into a powerslam for two and they roll to the floor as the fans chant for Sherri. Heenan doesn’t understand why they’re doing that but his questioning gets cut off as Shawn pulls the referee to the floor. The Papoose To Go (fall away slam) knocks Shawn silly but he’s been disqualified at 18:08.

Rating: B. That’s a very frustrating ending but it makes sense as they wanted to keep the title on Shawn but didn’t want to end Tatanka’s undefeated streak, leaving them with few alternatives. Still though, this was one heck of a match though a bit longer than it needed to be. The shoulder stopped being a thing about halfway through, even though Shawn stopped selling as he was known to do. Tatanka just didn’t have anything past the basics but the fans got behind him due to his charisma, which is all you need most of the time.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Recent arrivals the Steiner Brothers say this is their first Wrestlemania but it’s going to be one to be remembered and they’ll make Julius Caesar proud.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Things settle down as JR breaks some news about Luna attacking Sherri in the first aid station. Heenan won’t go back to check for an update because the camel is back there. Heenan: “Luna probably worked over the camel too.” Samu’s head cracks off the post and Scott dropkicks Fatu for good measure. Back up and Samu tries a hot shot but drops Scott face first over the top in a sick looking landing.

The Headshrinkers’ manager Afa CRACKS Scott in the back with his staff to keep him in trouble. Fatu’s middle rope headbutt gets two and Scott is almost out of it. The bad beating continues as Fatu sends him into the post, FINALLY drawing Rick over to check on his brother. Back in and Scott makes the eternal mistake of hitting a Samoan in the head, earning him a superkick. Yeah there’s really no defending that. You don’t hit a Samoan in the head.

Samu comes in and rakes the eyes as JR tries to call the match while Heenan argues with Savage. The fans chant for the Steiners as something like the Demolition Decapitator gets two on Scott. Back up and it’s a double clothesline as the announcers argue over what states border Oklahoma. Samu misses a headbutt and Scott finally tags off to Rick for some house cleaning and Samoan suplexing.

JR calls him Dog Face (short for Dog Face Gremlin, Rick’s nickname. That brings up a good sign for Ross. Back in 1993, not everyone would watch both companies, meaning some fans might not realize that JR has called Steiner Brothers matches before. On his first match he knows Rick’s nickname, making him look like he’s done his homework) as he beats up both Headshrinkers but a double headbutt drops Rick with ease.

A double Stroke of all things sets up what looks to be a Doomsday Device but Rick belly to bellys Fatu out of the air for an INSANE counter. I’ve never seen that before or since and it still looked great. Scott tags himself in but eats another superkick, only to come back with a bad Frankensteiner for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: A-. I like this match more every time I watch it as they were beating the fire out of each other here with some of the stiffest shots you’ll find. The Steiners always worked stiff and the Headshrinkers could go step for step with them. Some of the spots here were amazing with that suplex from the shoulders being a major highlight. Awesome, hard hitting match here which never broke down into a brawl.

Call the Hotline!

Doink the Clown (very evil) has desecrated a bust of Julius Caesar but calls it art. We see Doink attacking Crush with a false arm (with Vince shouting that he took his own arm out of the socket until Savage point out that it’s obviously a cast to shut him up) to set up their match tonight. Doink thinks Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

The Clown makes the eternal mistake of going up top and jumping straight down feet first, allowing Crush to raise a boot and take over again. Crush clotheslines him to the floor and Doink tries to hide under the ring. Amazingly enough a clown isn’t very good at keeping out of sight. Crush drags him back inside but the referee gets bumped.

It’s time for the head vice (Crush’s finisher where he squeezes his opponent’s head like a vice, making it a very appropriate name) but a second Doink pops up with the arm cast to knock Crush silly. The second Doink hides under the ring and the referee wakes up just in time to count the pin on Crush at 8:27.

Rating: D. And the really good match streak ends at two. This was a bizarre choice for a story as Crush would seem to be ready for a big push but he loses to Doink at Wrestlemania. Now to be fair, Doink is a very interesting character when he’s still all evil. Once he turned face as he was destined to do, there was no way he could be anything more than a joke. There’s certainly something interesting about an evil clown (see the Joker) but unfortunately that wasn’t going to last in 1993.

Another referee comes out and looks under the ring but can’t find anyone.

Some Japanese photographers don’t know about Doink but love Yokozuna.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

As the match goes on, Savage casually brings up Lex Luger knocking Bret Hart out cold earlier today. So this information has been known all day and it’s just NOW being brought up, an hour into the show? Backlund forearms him down and hooks a nice butterfly suplex, followed by an atomic drop, a high spot for him back in the day. Back up and Bob tries a slam, only to get small packaged for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. I guess they haven’t gotten all the filler matches out of their system yet. This was a decent way to showcase Razor but it wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Backlund was quite the return story but that’s the best they can do to make Razor look like a big star?

Ad for King of the Ring.

Money Inc. isn’t worried about the Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake with Jimmy Hart, who jumped to yet another team) after crushing Beefcake’s face with their metal briefcase. Hogan has threatened to bankrupt Money Inc. but how do you bankrupt a company with an unlimited credit line? I.R.S. promises to make Beefcake’s face look like a jigsaw puzzle with some missing pieces.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

I.R.S. and Beefcake get things going but the champs are quickly double teaming. DiBiase tries an ax handle to the metal mask and hurts his hand as you would expect. Some rams into the buckle have no effect either. Come on Ted you’re smarter than this. Now we get the tag to Hogan for his first match in a year. He hammers down right hands in the corner, despite having FAR smaller muscles than he did the last time we saw him.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

DiBiase gets in a cheap shot to take over on Hulk, allowing I.R.S. to choke with a tag rope. More choking ensues until we hit the Million Dollar Dream but Hogan seems moderately annoyed by it instead of in any kind of trouble. It’s basically a chinlock with the arm trapped but Savage takes the attention off of it with this gem: “They’re hanging from the rafters……if they had rafters……but I’ll tell you what they have columns and they’re hanging from them!”

Beefcake comes in with his own sleeper to DiBiase for the save as Hogan is actually out from the hold. That’s certainly a new one. Hogan gets up at about nine and the hot tag brings in Beefcake. Well hot is a stretch as the fans don’t seem to care but it’s been a pretty dull match so far. Beefcake cleans house until DiBiase hits him in the back with the metal briefcase.

DiBiase gets smart by taking off Brutus’ mask so Heenan makes face off jokes. A double clothesline puts the champs down but Beefcake puts I.R.S. in the sleeper instead of tagging. DiBiase makes a quick save but the referee gets bumped. The tag brings in Hogan but there’s no one to see it. Hulk comes in anyway and hits both guys with the mask. Jimmy Hart tries to wake up the referee but when that doesn’t work, he turns his jacket inside out to reveal referee stripes and counts the pin to end the match at 18:43.

Rating: D. This was much more long than anything else and the whole thing got stupid at the end. Hogan was WAY past his expiration date at this point and it was pretty clear based on this match. Beefcake wouldn’t wrestle for the company again but naturally Hogan brought him in for the main event of WCW’s biggest show the next year.

Hogan and Beefcake hold up the titles, making them the only two people in the arena stupid enough to think that counts. Another referee comes out and says not quite as Money Inc. wins by DQ. Ever the good losers, Hogan poses to limited cheering but then cracks open the briefcase and gives away the money inside (along with a brick. Why you would need a brick when you have a METAL BRIEFCASE?). So now he’s stealing in addition to looking like a moron with that ending. Hogan is a four time WWF World Champion and now he thinks his manager counting a pin is supposed to change a title? What a hero: a cheating moron.

Singer Natalie Cole gets a nothing interview to say she’s having fun. The CEO of the casino is happy with everything that’s going on.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger being a knockout artist with that forearm (which contains a steel plate). He’s been on a roll this week with a hole in one playing golf and he’s been hot at the tables so let’s make it one more win tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Back in and Luger sends him into the buckle but Perfect just kind of staggers around. After that awkward selling, Perfect starts going after the knee and slaps on a spinning toehold. Back up and Perfect’s bad back is sent hard into the buckle as this isn’t exactly taking off. A backbreaker keeps Perfect in trouble and Luger rolls him up in the corner for two but gets caught with his feet on the ropes.

Perfect comes back with a sleeper but gets driven back first into the buckle. At least Luger is focusing on a body part and sticking with it. Perfect finally tries his own worst enemy and catapults Luger into the buckle. It doesn’t quite work the same but maybe the idea scared him. A missile dropkick gets two on Luger but he counters a backslide and shoves Perfect’s feet into the ropes for the surprise pin at 10:56.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. This really didn’t work as neither guy could get anything going. Perfect was in a weird place here as he was still talented but didn’t really have a character. Luger was just that forearm but would somehow wind up being the co-top hero in the company in just a few months. It didn’t work for either guy here though and the match was pretty boring.

Luger knocks Perfect out and walks off. Perfect slowly gets up and goes after him but gets jumped by Shawn Michaels to start their summer long feud. This triggers a big argument between Savage and Heenan with Macho Man getting up and pointing his finger in Heenan’s face. Believe it or not, Heenan actually doesn’t run away.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Gonzalez is a 7’8 monster (wearing a full body skin colored spandex suit with muscles drawn on and fur at the shoulders) who was brought in by Harvey Wippleman to replace Kamala, who Undertaker dispatched to end 1992. This is the same story that would be used about thirteen years later when Undertaker feuded with Daivari’s lineup of monsters.

Undertaker comes out in a funeral chariot complete with a vulture for his first cool Wrestlemania entrance. Undertaker, a legitimate 6’10, comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Some big forearms have little effect but Gonzalez is nice enough to sell an uppercut that clearly missed.

A low blow doesn’t have much effect on Undertaker so he comes back with Old School. Undertaker gets thrown around and we hit a standing chinlock. Gonzalez gets bored and throws Undertaker to the floor and then into the steps. The power of the urn gets Undertaker back to his feet and inside but Gonzalez headbutts him right back down. Some awkward strikes stagger the Giant and he goes down to one knee so Harvey throws in a towel with chloroform to knock Undertaker out but it’s an obvious DQ at 7:34.

Rating: F. This was awful and maybe Undertaker’s worst Wrestlemania match ever. Gonzalez was just terrible and made everyone else look bad too because no one could do anything with someone so big and awkward. On top of that, the ending sets up a rematch instead of just ending this lame feud once and for all here like they should have.

Undertaker is stretchered out and Gonzalez lumbers around the ring. Eventually Undertaker’s music plays and he staggers to the ring to clean house.

Call the Hotline!

Gene, after talking about Heenan going to buy new underwear, shows us a clip of Yokozuna crushing Jim Duggan’s ribs. Yokozuna followed it up by winning the Royal Rumble and then crushing WWF World Champion Bret Hart’s ribs at the contract signing. Enough of that though as Gene brings in Hulk Hogan, who has been talking to Bret and assuring him that all the Hulkamaniacs are in his corner. Since he was attacked last night, Hogan wants Bret to make sure he’s watching everyone around him.

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Yokozuna tries to kick the champ while he’s down but Bret grabs the foot and ties him up in the ropes to get the big man down. Bret fires off more right hands and drops a middle rope elbow until the referee breaks Yokozuna free. The big man is up and slams Bret with ease before dropping a huge leg/various other parts on Bret’s face for no cover. The fans chant USA to support the Canadian so Yokozuna chokes him down before switching to a nerve hold.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

Rating: D+. They did what they could do here but the story of “Bret is going to get killed” is about as lame of a way to set up a title match as you can get. Bret was hammering away with everything he had but like Gonzalez (albeit a much better version), there’s only so much that could be done here, especially when you’re an average size guy like Hart. This could have been much worse but it still wasn’t much to see.

Hogan is here IMMEDIATELY after the match to plead Bret’s case. You know, like all the other times Bret and Hogan have been such great friends. Due to reasons of extreme overconfidence and stupidity, Fuji is willing to give Hogan a shot RIGHT NOW. Bret gives his blind blessing and we’re off.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Fuji throws salt in Yokozuna’s face by mistake (with the referee just watching) and it’s a clothesline and the legdrop to give Hogan the pin and the title at 28 seconds.

Hogan celebrates as Bret is completely forgotten to end the show. That would be Hogan’s last singles match until early June because he took seven weeks off before coming back to do tag matches with Beefcake against Money Inc. But hey, it’s another title win.

Overall Rating: D. This is actually a tricky one to grade. The show only runs about two hours and forty five minutes and the first fifty minutes are excellent stuff with two good to very good opening matches. I can’t call a show with an opening third that solid a failure by any means so the show gets some big points there.

That being said, the rest of the show goes off a cliff with the best match being the main event, which really isn’t any good and clocks in as the shortest announced Wrestlemania main event in history. Couple that with Hogan sneaking in to take the title in an ending that wasn’t the most popular in the world and you don’t have a great title picture going forward.

The word picture is appropriate here as well as this show doesn’t look like a Wrestlemania is supposed to. Instead of the biggest show of the year, this felt like a random pay per view in the mid to late summer, which actually would have helped it a lot. The outside venue is cool but it feels like a fun show rather than something big and epic like the show at Madison Square Garden or the shows in big stadiums.

Overall this show has too many problems working against it. The atmosphere was a failed experiment but the card didn’t do it any favors. Yokozuna was fine as a monster to be slayed but Hogan wasn’t the choice to do it, at least not two minutes after Yokozuna won the title at Wrestlemania. I’m supposed to be impressed that Hogan beat a tired Yokozuna and had to have salt in Yokozuna’s eyes to do it? That’s not a good end to any show but the fact that it was the end of Wrestlemania made it even worse.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6